#how do I get my parents a sainthood?

[queermania]

Wait wait wait. Jensen picked the writer who gave Dean a lesbian best friend and made him a nerd to be the show runner for his little fixit fic show? This is amazing!

when you look at robbie's run of episodes (that he wrote specifically, not produced or was the executive story editor on), a very specific version of supernatural and dean starts to emerge and it is insanity-inducing. here's a very brief rundown of the episodes robbie wrote:

slash fiction -swayze always gets a pass -dean singing air supply -"it's like eating self-righteousness' -the creation and introduction of frank devereaux -"applications for sainthood" -dean letting sam go

time after time -"what are you gonna look up more anime or are you strictly into dick now?" -dean being a nerdy little fanboy about eliott ness (and checking out a dude in a uniform but that was probably jacting joices) -dean getting excited about dressing up in period clothing!! -understanding that rufus matters and that family isn't just blood -original sam is milf!bait (and he's into it) truther -actually writing grief in nuanced ways -dean is smart and resourceful actually! -your future is "covered in thick black ooze" (which i know is just a very lucky coincidence but i don't care!)

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo -CHARLIE!!! he gave us charlie. he said "actually what if hardcore fans were cool and fun and GAY and they were dean's new best friend" -charlie/dean/security guard flirting split screen -"she's kinda like the little sister I never wanted." "how does a high-school dropout become one of the brightest minds…" -basically this entire episode is just "be gay, do crime" and i love that for me specifically

bitten -not my favorite episode but as @ilarual says "it's very fun in how it illustrates Robbie's willingness to play with form, since it's all done as found footage" -and as @doctorprofessorsong says it "has the concept of monsters aren’t always bad guys" -and apparently it contains a brokeback reference? my memory of this episode is hovering at around 1% tbh but you get it

larp and the real girl -dressing dean up in little outfits AGAIN -and he likes it!!! -and he likes being a nerd! (dean is getting into it and sam is the one who is unamused mr serious guy!!!!) -and charlie is dean's new best friend! -"belladonna" "the pornstar?" -"did you break up with someone too?" -honestly you already know all of it. this is a fan favorite for a reason. what more can i say about this episode??

goodbye stranger -yes robbie was the first writer to try to give us a destiel love confession -cas practicing killing dean over and over and over and still not being able to do it when it comes down to it -"what broke the connection?" gee i wonder -first episode writing cas and he nailed the sort of unintentional deadpan humor that makes cas so lovable ("would it kill you to watch a movie? read a book?" "a movie, no, but with a book with the proper spells—yeah, it could theoretically kill me.") -"if he's so sketchy then why are you praying to him?" -pizza man reference -"do you really think we can trust megstiel?" (we get both megstiel and jealous!dean) -dean quoting lord of the rings (because he's a nerd! and he reads!) -meg roasting the shit out of sam for the amelia stuff -etc

pac-man fever -charlie reading the carver edlund books -charlie and dean being besties/getting a montage -dean telling charlie that what happened with her parents wasn't her fault/understanding the guilt she feels -"i love you" "i know" -"what about castiel? he seems helpful, and dreamy" -again, putting dean in little outfits -charlie knows how to shoot/aim a gun

slumber party -dorothy!! -oz!!! -look, is this episode cheesy? yes. but it's fun and it's so obviously a love letter to the oz source material and i love that about robbie. he does his research and he commits

first born -cain!!!! -drowley team up!!!!! ("friends. besties, actually." im sorry but drowley means so much to me personally and this is the start of their beautiful bromance) -"this is by far the dumbest idea you've ever had." "yeah, well, it's early" -cas liked pb&js!! jelly, not jam. he found jam unsettling!! -"you have a guinea pig? where?" -"you're a terrible liar?" "that is not true. i once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother." -just. sastiel shenanigans (and hugs!) -"she only asked for one thing." "to stop" -anyway. you get it.

meta fiction -dean and cas phone call smiles!! they LIKE each other -metatron media dump -"what makes a story work? is it the plot, the characters, the text? the subtext? and who gives a story meaning? is the writer? or you?" -i think it's important to note that robbie who wrote gabriel faking his own death -cas noticing something is wrong with dean pretty much instantly and then discovering the mark of cain

fan fiction -i mean. come on. -"although we do explore the nature of destiel in act two." -"you can't spell subtext without s-e-x" -sam being such a younger brother and trolling dean about "destiel" -"BM scene" -dean "you know they're brothers, right?"-ing the w*ncest stuff but just being flustered about the destiel stuff ayyyy -dean casually referencing andrew lloyd webber -"transformative fiction" -"i want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can" -dean quoting rent -the samulet is back! -"i have my version, and you have yours." -"he took away our own free will" <- about john!! -THE RETURN OF CHUCK!

there's no place like home -"i forgive you dean" "yeah well i don't" "i know, kinda your move" -"you hurt my friend" -"you lied to me" "you lied to yourself. that's kinda your move." -i mean. robbie just gets it, ya know?

book of the damned -cas being a huge bitch (love that) -sam being the excessively codependent one -cas and charlie get to meet! -found family goodness if only for a little bit!!

angel heart -ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! -"i got it at the hot topical" (and claire keeping grumpy cat) -no seriously. dean and cas went birthday present shopping together for claire and they did it at a mall -castiel feeling guilt for what he did to the novak family (and amelia recognizing that cas has changed/grown) -"you were both troubled teens. you speak her language." -"bring your daughter to work day" -"i'm saying she might be stronger on her own." which is a controversial line but i think it says something really significant about how dean feels about his childhood "in fact you're not anything to her except a constant reminder of someone that's gone." -mini golf!!!!!! dean and claire bonding!!!! -the introduction of the grigori, a class of angels which may or may not be important at some point -claire roasting the shit out of dean with "you seem pretty old" <3 -"happy birthday. don't shoot me."

baby -do i really need to explain anything about this one? -"okay first of all, never use swayze's name in vain, okay? ever." -"mistakes were made" -dean having a dream about john teaching him to drive but under normal and appropriate circumstances -werepire…. ghoulpyre… -honestly just the whole episde. you know what i'm talking about. the unique perspective. the insight into their day-to-day lives. the moments that live in between.

into the mystic -eileen! my best friend eileen! -dean x mildred otp -remembering sam's lucifer/hell trauma -the whole "follow your heart" speech -"banshees go after the vulnerable, so why'd it go after you?" -dean recognizing there's something off with cas -but really the most important thing here is EILEEN

safe house -bobby and rufus!!!! -i repeat BOBBY AND RUFUS!!!! -"were you ever nice?" "1985. worst year of my life." -robbie just really GETS that this show is more fun when it's not centered entirely on the brothers. -bobby referring to sam and dean as his boys -timey wimey shenanigans -there were some interesting implications in this episode too but i'm losing steam here so i'm gonna let you rewatch and figure it out lol

don't call me shurley -the reveal of chuck as god!!!! -bisexual chuck -dean does sam's laundry (sometimes with beer) -chuck is a shitty egotistical writer -he also plays the guitar and: "i like front row seats. you know, i figured i'd hide out in plain sight." -"i thought if i could show my sister that there was something more than just us, something better than us, then maybe she'd change. maybe she'd stop being… her. but every time I'd build a new world, she'd destroy it." -"the world would still be spinning with demon dean in it but sam couldn't have that though could he?" -"you were gonna choose amara over me."

so. yeah. jensen chose THIS GUY to helm the winchesters. bold move, sir. full respect.

also, this tweet always makes me crack up

one of us! one of us! one of us!

#replies #anonymous #robbie thompson #mp

[captain-joongz]

Heroes

Pairing: non-idol!Kim Hongjoong x Reader (it's Hongjoong's POV)

Genre: angst

Summary: Hongjoong attempts to navigate a posh party after his whole life has fallen apart, while what he wants the most is standing only a few metres away from him. It doesn't help that he knows you want him too.

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: it's very angsty, drinking, post break-up, forced break-up, controlling parent (let me know if i should add anything)

A/N: this whole piece is inspired by the song Heroes by David Bowie, it's just the right amount of emotional damage :')) also, this is my first time posting here, so I apologise if the formating is still a little wonky, hopefully I'll work it out soon :))

“Just… Don’t forget to be there tomorrow, okay?” Seonghwa’s voice rang out in my car and I sighed. “Don’t worry, I know I can’t afford to miss a gathering like that. Everyone that means something in this city is going to be there.” My answer didn’t seem to calm him down whatsoever, even if I couldn’t see him through my phone screen I knew as much. I stubbornly refused to address what he was talking about and instead started talking business. After a while of mindless chit-chat he tried again.

“She will be there tomorrow… I’m sure you know that. Please, Hongjoong, don’t do anything stupid.” I knew he was just trying to look out for me but I couldn’t help getting a little annoyed with him. Even after all this time, you were still a touchy subject. I sighed again, this time louder. “When have I ever done something like that?” I attempted at a joke and got a little chuckle from Seonghwa in return. “Don’t worry, my best friend turned business partner, I’ll be the picture of sainthood and patience.” Then I ended the call.

Needless to say, I was not that. I got to the garden party about twenty minutes ago and was already agitated beyond belief. Seonghwa hasn’t got there yet and I was stuck drinking white wine in a corner of a room watching old rich men laughing at stories that only old rich men find funny. I could feel my lips turning into a scowl and barely managed to look respectable and approachable to the top society.

Just a few years back, I was nothing. A little boy from a poor background who only dreamed big, but deep down knew that a world like this would never let him achieve that. I didn’t come from money like most of these men, I didn’t have centuries of generational wealth at my beck and call. I was the one they laughed at and looked down on, the one who had to fight for every penny they dropped.

I started a little company with my best friend, originally hoping to make our own indie clothing line. Just something small to give us enough money to live normally. But we needed funds to take off and so we started chasing after the kind of people we both hated begging them to sponsor us. That’s when you came into my life. And everything changed.

Back then I hated these parties as much as I do now but I didn’t know how to hide it yet. Seonghwa was much better at looking pleasant and entertained, I usually stood next to him burning holes with my eyes into anyone who wanted to talk to me. You swooped in, all wide smiles and melodic laughs and gave me a once-over.

“You look exactly how I feel.” It came out of your mouth on a laugh and I felt myself relax. “Also here to charm these bastards into giving you a bit of money?” I gave you a flirty smile and took a sip from my glass. I didn’t even remember what I ordered.

“Actually no, I’m here because one of these bastards is my father.” I froze and I heard Seonghwa next to me choke on something. You looked serious for a moment and then burst out laughing. And then you spent the entire night introducing us to people and whispering little sassy comments into our ears. I never knew one could have so much fun here.

I realised pretty quickly you are someone I will fall in love with. It never felt like a hypothetical. Loving you was absolutely inevitable. And when I did, you were there holding my hand whispering how you love me too. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And then you were gone.

You didn’t want to be, I knew that. It was your father. I met him a few times after you introduced us and he figured out pretty quickly that something was happening between us. And he didn’t like it. One day he called me into his office for lunch. When I came he only looked at me over his desk.

“My daughter will marry someone better.” That was all he said.

“Leave her alone.”

I didn’t.

We both agreed on continuing our relationship and that we would keep it a secret. Me and Seonghwa managed to sell our idea to a big wig that owned a few luxury hotels and he agreed to sponsor our humble beginnings. At this time Wooyoung and Yeosang joined us, after we hired them off an ad to model our clothes during the business meetings. Finally, our dream was taking off. It worked for a little while. You helped us a lot back then, helping us with ideas and even some sewing when we needed every hand we could get. The project was our baby, us five.

With time we grew tired of sneaking around. We became careless, too in love to think about the consequences of being seen together or getting caught by your father. And so one day we were.

Unfortunately, I don’t know the half of what happened, you didn’t want to talk about it too much. But I knew enough to understand you were leaving. I’ll always remember your teary sad eyes as you were walking out the door.

“He’ll sink your company if I don’t leave. I can’t do that to you Hongjoong, not after you worked so hard for it.”

After that I haven’t seen you again. I heard about you here and there, after all I was still in the same social circles as you. But I knew you weren’t allowed to talk to me. I would catch glimpses of you out of the corner of my eyes and then you would disappear into the crowd. That was all that was left of us.

It’s already been three hours since I came here and I was officially tired of small talk. Everyone asked me the same questions, they all wanted to know the same things.

“Congratulations on your latest release, Mr. Kim. I heard it was a success,” said one of the men my benefactor brought over to my corner. I gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“It was a joint effort of the whole company,” I replied politely and looked over his shoulder to see Seonghwa laugh at something Yunho said. They came here together about 40 minutes after me due to having to solve some issues with a design we were currently working on.

“Speaking of company, I remember when it was just you and Mr. Park. It was a pleasant surprise to meet Mr. Jeong too,” said someone else, I wasn’t even paying attention to who.

“Yes, yes… There’s eight of us now, thanks to the endless support of Mr. Byun we were able to expand rather quickly,” I gestured at our sponsor and gave a business smile. “It’s a big relief as we now have enough hands on deck to work comfortably.” Conversation moved on for a little bit and I dissociated again, not listening to a single word until I felt Seonghwa move to my side. When I looked up at him he looked extremely nervous, but before I could ask one of the men directed the topic back to me.

“You know… I really wasn’t expecting you to show up. Considering…” he chuckled a little bit and I felt myself stiffen. There was a mean glint to his eyes and I knew they all will properly enjoy making me uncomfortable with this.

“Yes, considering…” someone else added with a smirk, “Have you met the host of tonight’s party yet?” Silence fell and everyone looked at me expectantly. The host of tonight's party, as in Mr. Lee – as in your father. Even though our relationship was never quite made public, it was a well-known matter. Just as our break-up, no matter how hard Mr. Lee tried to make it disappear. He was thoroughly embarrassed by his daughter entertaining the advances of such a low-born as me, but his desperation to keep this all under wraps was what made it even juicier for everyone to talk about. That’s how I found myself in this exact same position every time I chose to show my face at these events.

Before I could say something, Seonghwa stepped in with his gentle polite shut-down. “Yes, we’ve all said our hellos to him when we came here,” he said and smiled in that way me and Yunho knew meant he was two minutes from distributing slaps. It was a lie, but one said with such nonchalance that everyone believed this boring outcome to be true. They hoped for blood and instead got this. From there the conversation quickly moved on to different topics and no one brought it up again. Eventually the men saw someone more interesting and dispersed, leaving only me, Seonghwa and Yunho.

“Thanks, if I had to answer that one more time I’d murder someone,” I said to Seonghwa with what was supposed to be a laugh but instead came out as a bitter chuckle. My fingers tightened around my glass and I attempted to calm the swirling vortex of uncomfortable emotions currently wreaking havoc on my psyche. Admittedly, I was doing a pretty shit job at it.

“Man, these vultures really never change,” Yunho whispered with a smile and clasped his hand on my shoulder. He squeezed few times to give me courage and then let go. I smiled tiredly at him and clanked our glasses together. “That they never do…”

I was glad both of these men were here. Where Seonghwa was all cold and polite, Yunho came in with amusing stories and boyish charms. Once you started listening to him, he soon had you wrapped around his little finger and you found yourself hanging onto his every word. It was very useful at directing conversation and distracting people when they started asking stupid questions.

Seonghwa hasn’t said anything yet and when I looked at him, he was still watching me with that same sadness and nervousness from before. “You haven’t left this spot since you came, don’t you at least want to move into the garden for a little while?” he said finally and I realised he was in his full mothering mode. As I opened my mouth to give him a funny retort, my eyes flitted around the room and suddenly I was looking straight into your eyes. The words got stuck in my throat and instead came out a little strangled noise of surprise. You waved at me subtly and smiled a little. I awkwardly did the same. Then you turned around and walked out. My hand automatically reached for a fresh glass of wine and I drank it in almost a single gulp, which freaked out Seonghwa.

“Maybe we should go, we did what we came here to do anyway…” he said and reached for me but I refused. “If we leave now it will be considered in bad taste,” I retorted, “Don’t worry about me, go out there and make me proud. I’ll just stay here and keep myself out of everyone’s way.” Yunho laughed at my words but Seonghwa still looked concerned. In the end, he let himself be dragged out into the gardens. I stood there alone. Right, since you left, I was anyways.

I kept myself occupied by drinking, which wasn’t really the best idea. When I looked out of the window again, it was already dark outside and most of the people moved back in. You were back in too. I heard you, heard your laugh as you held conversation with someone. It felt as close as if you were standing right next to me, laughing to something I said. As if on instinct I looked after the source of the sound and our eyes met for the second time that evening. You nodded. I did too. I felt Mr. Lee burning a hole into my side with his eyes just as I saw Seonghwa warningly shake his head. So I looked back down, right into my drink and wallowed in drunken self-pity.

I knew I should let it go. I should have let it go by now. It’s been months. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself stop thinking about you, about us. How could I when you were so abruptly torn out of my life? Inappropriate relationship my ass. Embarrassment my ass. Everyone knew anyway. That I love you and you love me. I didn’t understand why it was a problem. I guess I just wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t wealthy enough. I would still take care of you, better than anyone could. I would give you anything, everything you asked for. So why? Why was it a problem?

I took another sip from another glass and looked at you again. I could feel Seonghwa’s disapproving energy from across the room but I ignored it. Things started blurring together, so I just stood around frowning and drank. When I could see clearly again you were gone. I lost you a long time ago and yet you still disappear.

The party was still in full swing, people now drunk enough to loosen up. All around me it was buzzing with laughter and small-talk, the men switching to joking about their wives while still pretending to talk business while the ladies emboldened by alcohol started making eyes at the young waiters. I made a disgusted face and prayed for these poor souls.

I couldn’t see Seonghwa nor Yunho anymore either and I was trying to persuade myself to move so I could find them and we could finally leave. But before I managed to move a single finger a voice tore me out of my thoughts. A sweet familiar voice.

“Hey…” It was you. You were standing on my right, close to the doors that led outside. I didn’t even notice you get there, too preoccupied with feeling sorry for myself. My heart was beating out of my chest. It was beating so hard I was afraid it was going to jump right out, right into your hands. That’s where it belonged anyway.

“Hi.” I croaked out and then embarrassedly cleared my throat. You laughed. God, how I missed that. I was just stuck looking at you with heart eyes, not even comprehending that this was really happening. Suddenly I realised that the room quieted down a little bit. The people that were present pretended to still have their conversations while straining their ears to listen to us. A fierce wave of anger ran through me but it died down as soon as I saw you gesturing to the open door.

“Do you maybe want…?” you didn’t even have to finish and I was already moving out with a scowl on my face aimed at everyone who was watching us with curious eyes. As soon as I came out panic hit me and I turned around. You must have seen the fear and laughed a little. “My father is currently in the saloon playing billiard and smoking cigars with the esteemed gentlemen, so it’s okay,” you said and sat down on of the chair on this little balcony. It was overlooking the prettily light up gardens. It was almost a romantic setting if the situation was different. I chuckled bitterly and sat down into the other chair.

I took the time to look at you properly. You were wearing a light pink dress. It was a very conservative cut, making you look almost like a happy housewife from the 50s. I let out another chuckle and you only raised an amused eyebrow at me. Your hair was longer too.

“I see that father has a say in your wardrobe too, now.” It wasn’t the best opening line. Definitely not something you say to someone you haven’t seen in months. The amusement was replaced by sadness and you looked really awkward for a moment. I wanted to slap myself for ever even opening my stupid mouth.

“You know, have to make the right impression…” you said quietly and silence took over. I hated it. I hated everything and most of all I hated your father.

“You realise that he’s going to hear about us talking anyway, right?” I asked you and took a sip. It was the last of wine I had, so I just set the glass on the table and instead nervously played with my fingers. Not holding anything allowed me to see just how much were my hands shaking. I looked over and you were also nervously smoothing out your dress over your thighs.

“Yeah, well, he’s going to kill us both but whatever,” came your response. You wanted it to sound nonchalant but we were both too anxious and running on pure adrenalin. But then you gave me a blinding smile and my heart almost broke all over again.

“Yeah, yolo or whatever,” I mumbled and looked into the garden. I heard you laugh and forbid myself from looking. My hands started to rise so I could drink but halfway through I remember I finished it already. So I let them down again. It was the middle of summer but thanks to the late hour, the weather became much more pleasant. I loosened my tie and made myself more comfortable in the chair.

The silence was slowly becoming oppressive as neither of us really knew what to say to the other. I gritted my teeth together and slowly counted the uncomfortably spent seconds slowly ticking away.

“I’m engaged.”

It felt as if the whole world was suddenly thrown askew. If I wasn’t sitting it would feel as if I was falling down the stairs. Slowly I turned to look at you. There were tears on your face. I realised that my eyes were also getting wet. Shit, either I’m too sober to have this conversation or I’m too drunk to not make a fool out of myself. My hand subconsciously moved to lay over my heart, as if to check if it was still beating. It felt as if it wasn’t, wouldn’t really surprise me.

“So this is why you wanted to talk outside…” I said slowly and suddenly my words were slurring more together. It was hard to speak over the emotions of my whole life crumbling to dust.

“Don’t you want to know with who?” you asked quietly. I could see you were too afraid to look at me properly, only glancing over from the corner of your eyes. I scoffed at your question.

“I can imagine with who. Your father has a clear type,” I said bitterly, “Probably with someone that can afford to golf with him in the country club.” You were silent and I knew you were crying. So I turned around again and looked into the garden, stubbornly ignoring the tears about to drop from my own eyes.

“We could run away together…” you whispered and I spun around again. “What!?” I almost screamed that and then checked if anyone inside heard. It seemed that no one noticed. I turned to you again. “What do you mean? Are you serious?” It was absolutely stupid idea. I started regretting not being more drunk. But then I looked at your face and saw your desperation and I realised. You mean it. You’re absolutely serious.

A lightning of hope flashed through me so strongly it almost jerked my whole body. But as soon as it appeared it was gone too. There was no way anything good would come out of that. Your father would cut you off and he’d make sure none of us ever found any respectable job. I couldn’t take everything away from you like this. I wouldn’t. Still I smiled at you and said yes. We both knew.

“We could, you could come to live with me and Seonghwa. He’d nag us all the time but all of us would have movie nights…” I whispered and finally felt the tears trickling down my face. I didn’t even bother to try and wipe them away. When I looked over you were crying too.

“We could just get up right now and leave and never come back,” you said. Neither of us made a move to get up. We just looked at each other. “I would help you with your company, I’d sew again…”

“We’d live off convenience store snacks and whatever Wooyoung brought over for us.” We laughed at that, remembering how he was always pretending to be mad at us for eating at his place too much.

“We’d be together forever… We’d win…” you whispered and I couldn’t hold back the sob that fought its way out. I had to turn away from you for a moment to try and compose myself, even though I heard you crying right next to me. We knew it was impossible, but for a few sweet moments we let ourselves imagine our life together. No one spoke then and after a little while I heard rustling of you getting up.

I didn’t want to look. I didn't want to see you leave and I didn't want you to see me cry. But I knew I’d never see you again and everything be damned, I wouldn’t waste my last chance to lay my eyes on you.

You smiled and even with your face all wet and red and puffed up from crying, you were the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.

“I better go,” you whispered again and gestured to the door, “before my dad finds out.” I laughed at the irony of the words. And then I nodded. “Yeah… See you.” The hopeful tone I said those words in was completely against my will. I wouldn’t. But I wanted to believe. You didn’t reply to that and then you slipped inside, forever slipped out of my reach.

I don’t know how much time passed, but when Seonghwa found his way to the balcony, I was still numbly sitting in the chair looking out into the gardens with dried tears on my face. Within few seconds he was on me, holding my shoulder and looking at me with gentle sad eyes, asking me what happened. I was silent. When he was guiding me back inside, I was silent. When Yunho saw us and walked over with concern written all over his face, I was silent. When we were walking out, while we were driving back home, when we were standing in the elevator taking us up to our flat, I was silent. All I could do was wish. Wish we could be heroes, just for one day.

A/N: hope you liked it! don't be shy ^^

#kim hongjoong #ateez #ateez fic #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #kim hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong fic #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong ateez #hongjoong angst #ateez fanfic #atz #hongjoong fic #hongjoong

[docholligay]

Doc with today's educational environment, how long would you last as a college professor?

Ah, you must have been in the Piranesi book club, where I talked about how I was a failed Lit professor and honestly I feel like that was the best thing that ever happened to me.

You know, I am a particular sort of person, and one of those things that I think made me who i am is that for a number of years I, I guess I'll say, "worked without a net." And so, you know, when i left academia I had no fucking clue what I was going to do with the rest of my life. My peers who were continuing on to the graduate level were like, "I mean, I think I'm going to be miserable too, but if I just stop with a bachelor's, I'm not going to be able to get a job, or worse, I'll only be able to get a job that a high school graduate could get and that will make my degree worthless. What are you going to do?" and my response was essentially, "I don't know! Not this! Tend bar for awhile, maybe." But I didn't consider my education a waste (I DO consider the degree a waste. Who the fuck cares? I wish i could have gotten the knowledge cheaper without a degree. My degree has only ever been proof that I had good enough credit to make it through the system. I know a ton of fucking idiots with degrees, and intelligent people without them.)

Anyway, I am very interested in talking about books, and I love helping people get better and looking for what lies beneath the text and engaging with it, and learning about lenses, and stuff like that. I adore the teaching aspect of teaching. But I am not interested in strip mining a classic novel while invoking the dark sainthood of the critical schools of thought, praying for the absolution of a tenure that will never come. I am not interested in the auto-da-fé of student evaluations and peer review, coming year after year while wizened old men weigh the annoyance of me versus my diversity credentials versus how low they can keep my salary. I am not interested in engaging with the thousand tiny cuts of nineteen year olds telling me all the reasons they can't do something. I am not interested having to pan every single essay paper like its a mountain stream in 1849, only to find myself wondering if this is ChatGPT or the student really did turn in the literary equivalent of overcooked chicken breast, because they don't want to be here, they don't want to learn, and they would be happier getting a stamp saying, "My parents have access to forty thousand dollars, you may hire me."

I wouldn't last because you could offer me a position teaching courses *I* came up, and i would not take it. I would not teach Literature of the American West, because I do not want to teach in a formal setting, literally ever. I would not get beyond the offer email. If I wrote the next Great American Novel, and fuckin...Harvard, i guess, was like, "hey do you want to teach a class here?" No. I said, "You can't fire me, i quit," fifteen years ago, and I stand by it.

#It helps that literally ever arts/communication/etc major I know who went into academia is miserable #and I am very happy! #genuinely I would love a classroom where everyone is engaged and wants to learn #I adored teaching creative writing for the 13-17 set

[bigskydreaming]

re: not character bashing or carrying your dislike of a character into your own fan writings. Hmm. Does this apply to Bruce too?

Umm. Yes?

I know I have a rep for being extremely critical of Bruce, particularly in regards to his parenting, but I don't think I've ever argued that he's a terrible person or has no redemptive qualities? In fact, I've clarified on multiple occasions that the entire point of EVERY Bruce-critical post I've ever made is my big wish is to see those things applied to future depictions of canon and fanon Bruce and his dynamic with his kids.

YMMV, but personally I view that as the opposite of 'wanting bad things to happen to a character.' I'm all FOR a positive relationship between Bruce and his various kids and all of my criticism stems from times and ways where I feel he bears responsibility for a particularly negative aspect to one or more of these dynamics.

And like, the Batkids might be my actual point of focus for all my wants/wishes for depictions of more positive, healthy relationships between them and their father....but uh, their father is still very much front and center in the picture, whenever I picture more positive depictions of the Batfam? A better outcome for Bruce might not be the direct POINT of all my criticism, but there's no way for him NOT to benefit from any more positive Batfam depictions like the ones my criticisms are in support of?

I want accountability for times and ways I think Bruce's depiction or narrative choices have been to the detriment of his kids. So that he can be written addressing these things, not so he can be flogged in the village square.

Its kinda like how my entire personal ideology towards crime and punishment is geared around restorative justice, not punitive. Sometimes the latter is part of the former, in certain scenarios or circumstances. But I'm a big believer that the latter should never be the POINT of the former.

Anyway, feel free to @ me with any meta, headcanon or fic/ficlet where you think the central conceit is "Bruce Wayne Is The Worst and Deserves to Suffer" as opposed to Bruce Hug Your Damn Kids Challenge.

To be clear, I'm not saying there's no chance posts or fics like that exist - just that they're not something I shoot for and not something I think properly represents my viewpoint on the character and his dynamics. As such, if they DO exist, its probably because I did a poor job of conveying my actual point, they were taken out of context (given how nonlinearly/stream of consciousness my posting habits are, this is always a big possibility with me), or idk, a particularly bad day got away from me and I took it out on a character I'm critical of in ways and for reasons that didn't actually have to do with whatever I was actually saying.

I do want to point out though that there's also a possibility that this perception of any particular post/fic I've written about Bruce is like, something you brought to the party? Just saying.

Anyway, not trying to run you off, because if you're thinking of specific things I've written that don't align with what I said in that post, I'd rather know what they are than not. Personally, I PREFER if people who think I'm being hypocritical on a topic call me out with specifics.

Please note: with SPECIFICS. If you wanna just accuse me of being a hypocrite in general, its like okay? Not much I can do with that though. I don't AIM to be hypocritical so any time I am - which does happen - it only happens because I don't realize my own hypocrisy and there's a 100% likelihood I'm not gonna do jack shit to address or change an instance of hypocrisy/hypocritical behavior if I have no idea it exists. Don't get me wrong, not trying to apply for sainthood here, lmao, I'm A-Okay with being an asshole when I think its called for and I'm not pretending to be all turn the other cheek about internet fights I've been in.

If you just volley "You're a hypocrite" as an across-the-board insult or attempt to discredit me because you hate me or consider my vibes to be particularly rancid? Fuck off. If you've got a specific instance in mind though, I'm happy to consider it because I don't actually consider being a hypocrite like, a lifelong affiliation or something I aspire to. There are worse things than accidentally being a hypocrite or being considered a hypocrite for something I did or said without knowingly considering the hypocrisy.

Like, for instance, deliberately being a hypocrite even after KNOWING I did or said something that was pointed out as hypocritical.

So personally, I consider it to be to my own benefit to be confronted with specific times or ways I've been hypocritical with my posts or writings, because if it only happened because I didn't mean to be and failed to realize I was being a hypocrite there....I WANT the opportunity to address that, clarify myself or change my stance one way or another, or make sure I don't repeat my mistake there or double down.

But again.....I just wanna point out this is a two-way street. I admit there's always a chance that whatever reason someone considers me hypocritical, like, I earned that with my actual opinions or behavior. The ACTUAL only times I have a problem with being considered a hypocrite is like.....if I'm not actually being one? LMAO. Like just saying, presenting me with specific times/places you think I've been a hypocrite might back you up on that, but it also might not. 

I'm sometimes the problem.

I'm not always the problem though, and I do stand by the fact that I think some posters/parts of various fandoms have a history of misrepresenting me or things I've actually said or done. I've got no interest in enabling that, so like I said, by all means @ me with specifics if you've got a specific post or thing I've written that makes you feel I'm full of shit. But don't do it unless you're at least open to the possibility that when confronted with that post/writing, I might be able to defend my stance or poke holes in someone's claim of hypocrisy. Accusations aren't always true, or even usually true given some of the usual suspects who like to sling them my way. I'm not always gonna be able to refute someone's interpretation of something I said or did, but I absolutely can refute the ones that are made in blatant bad faith, for example.

Anyway. Like I said, I stand by what I said in that post about character bashing, and I don't personally think my usual take on Bruce actually says otherwise. Anyone wants to talk about specific points I've made that suggest otherwise, and see if I can reconcile that, you know where to find me. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Its happened before, it'll happen again. I don't love being called out for hypocrisy, it'd be kinda weird if I did, lmao. But if there's one thing I for sure love even less than that, its being called out or considered a hypocrite baselessly or because of someone else's misinterpretation/misrepresentation of me or my actual opinions, without me ever getting a chance to set the record straight.

You want me to own my shortcomings or potential shortcomings, you've gotta be willing to own yours too if I'm not actually in the wrong. Fair's fair. I give zero fucks about being the bigger person or taking the hit for someone else's bullshit or mistake. Owning instances of hypocrisy sucks, but so does being held to double standards, and I'm just not a 'pick your poison' kinda guy.

[lordofwaffless]

14. Wesley

Our two protagonists did, eventually, succeed in making it to school. The two of them collapsed into their seats in the cafeteria just in time to get whacked upside the head with The Unabbreviated History of Sainthood in Northern Everin, a seven-hundred-page paperback tome used to teach magic history to students who would never be saints. (“I’m holy enough as it is,” Fiona had laughed, when one of her classmates had tried to press her on the subject.)

“You two morons are late,” she declared. She had save them a completely empty, Blonde-free table by the window. 

“We were preoccupied,” Wesley muttered, rubbing the spot where his great-great grandfather’s face had connected with his skull. 

“Right, you two were clearly fucking-” 

“Fiona!” 

“-but regardless, I need your help with something, and now we’re not going to have enough time to get this done!” She exhaled, drawing herself up to her full height. “So you two are going to have to come over to my house after school.” 

“Fi, if you wanted us to come over, you could have done it without the assault. Or the fucking comment, either,” Wesley said, rolling his eyes at his friend’s complete and utter lack of tact. 

“It’s not just that,” she pouted. She’s like an angry, violent version of Stu, Wes realised with a shudder. “I really do need your help with something.” 

“We’ll help,” Stu assured her, nibbling on the sandwich Wesley had made him. “Wes, are you going to eat?” 

“Don’t bother, Stewart. Statistics show that only one out of every nine meals is subjected to Death by Wesley. The other nine are set free into the wilderness to be consumed by others,” Fiona butt in, shaking her auburn head with a sigh. “He’s been like this since we were kids.” Wesley glared at her. “I’m fine, Fiona. Fuck off.” 

“Oh, nice, Wesley. So you’re allowed to curse at me, but I can’t say anything about you? How bloody lovely.” 

Stu looked back and forth between them, multiple layers of concern etched on his face.

“Guys-” 

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business what I eat, Fiona-” 

“I care about you, you absolute git-” 

“Guys-” 

“I’M FINE-” 

“Shut up!” Stu yelled, holding his hand out between them, as if his small musician’s fingers could pry them apart if either of them decided to pounce. The feuding pair did shut up,

out of shock more than anything. Wesley glared down at the table, sniffing, while Fiona looked up at the ceiling and attempted to blink the tears out of her eyes. 

“Wes?” Stu asked. He was worried about both of his friends (since Fiona was now, apparently, his friend), but his boyfriend took precedence over Fiona at the moment. Wesley looked up from the table. “What, Stewart?” 

Stu hugged him. “I love you,” he whispered. 

Wesley blinked, and glanced at him, eyebrows raised. “You’re not going to say something stupid?” 

Stu giggled softly. “Wesley, I’m pretty sure I just did.” 

His boyfriend chuckled in reply. “Well. You’re not wrong, Stewart,” he said, with a shake of his head. He sighed. “Fiona’s right.” 

She whipped her head around. 

“I’m probably not fine,” he elaborated. 

Fiona really had never learned tact. “Probably?” 

He sighed again. “Alright, I’m definitely not fine, but there isn’t really anything I can do about it right now. I’ve tried talking to my parents, but they’re never home. The only time I ever really see them is for an hour or two after school, and even then, they’re not really there, you know?” 

Fiona sighed. She reached across Stu to rest a hand on Wesley’s shoulder. “We know. Or, at least, I know, and Stu’s learning. But Wes, you can always talk to my mum,” she said, gently squeezing. 

He smiled wanly at her. “I know. I- might, sometime soon. I just-” he paused, considering. “Being not fine makes more sense to me at this point than being fine. I don’t want someone to fix me before anyone important even notices I’m broken, you know?”

 “Wes-” 

“-and I know that that’s fucked up, but all of this is fucked up, Fiona-” 

“Wesley, I agree, but I really think that taking care of yourself is more important than proving a point,” she said, just as the bell rang. “Right. Stu, we’ve got to get to PE, but don’t forget to come over!” 

“We can just grab him from art at the end of the day, Fi.” 

Stu kissed him goodbye. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye, Stu!” Fiona called. 

“Bye,” Stu whispered, as they walked away.

[coolforcats]

Just in case anyone was wondering taking your final year university exams from home online during a pandemic sucks exactly as much as you think it does.

In other news I am on hour 33 of my (now) 48-hour advanced fluid dynamics exam and my brain has gone fluffy.

#uni #university #exams #engineering #fluid dynamics #covid-19 #i am either going to cry or stab someone #neither is going to be pretty #how do I get my parents a sainthood? #tbf I was going to take a three hour exam on this #I probably would have failed #at least now I have google

[haikyuuwaifu]

Ch.14

Genre: Drama, Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Toxicity, Mentions of Infidelity, Mentions of Gaslighting, Mild Mentions of Death

MASTERLIST

THE TRUTH ABOUT GOJO

When Sukuna told Y/n he was taking her somewhere, she didn’t think it was a shrine in the middle of nowhere. Unlatching herself from around his waist, she maneuvered herself off his bike, and took in her surroundings. “My grandad was a priest.” Sukuna supplied, taking his helmet off and settling it on the seat. “Before Yuji and I were born, our grandma died and he opted for sainthood and found his way here.” “Is your grandfather here?” Y/n enquired, looking back at him. Sukuna only shook his head, as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. “He died a few years ago. When Yuji and I were little, our parents died in an accident, and Grandpa left the priesthood to raise us.” 

Y/n reached out to comfort him, but Sukuna only shrugged. “No need to feel sorry sweetheart. I’m at piece with it. Honestly, he was kind of a huge dick; but he would have liked you.” He mumbled, moving toward the temple. “I like to come here sometimes, when I get overwhelmed, or if I ever need time to think clearly.” Y/n hummed, following along, taking in the sights around her. “This reminds me of the show.”  Y/n mused, as the two made their way toward the gardens. “That’s part of why Yuji and I were interested. They want to do some of the filming here, and a portion of the proceeds will go to the temple.” Sukuna supplied, stopping at a small alcove of cherry trees. “This was his favorite spot in the whole place.” Sukuna whispered, motioning for Y/n to take a seat. Settling herself on the ground, Sukuna laid sprawled out, tugging her down, so her head rested on his chest. “You’re not obligated to tell me anything, but I’ll listen if you want to talk about it.” He mumbled, stroking her back lazily. “We can stay here as long as you want.” Y/n only smiled, curling into him. “Thanks Kuna.” She whispered, closing her eyes and basking in the silence.

What felt like forever later,  Y/n found herself lazily stroking Sukuna’s belly, her eyes closed as she quietly began speaking. “He wasn’t always like that you know...self-absorbed and narcissistic.” Sukuna remained silent, waiting for her to continue. “When we were kids, Gojo was always getting into trouble, and Geto was always right there with them.” Y/n mused, remembering the number of times the two would be chased down the streets of their hometown. “It was always the two of them, and unless I was there they’d get a whoopin.” Y/n laughed, eyes watering slightly. “It was just the three of us, and we could always count on each other.” she mumbled, lips wobbling slightly. Sukuna only pulled her closer, his chest thrumming as he listened. “When we were growing up, I never garnered a lot of attention from the opposite sex. It was impossible to have a crush, let alone find interest in boys when my two best friends scared everyone off all the time.” Y/n huffed, “I didn’t even know about Gojo’s feelings until we got into this really big fight in high school.” 

“I find it hard to believe that guys weren’t falling over their feet for you sweetheart.” Sukuna teased, stroking her cheek softly. Y/n only laughed, patting his chest fondly. “It was hard to notice, even then I was still wrapped up in keeping Geto and Gojo out of trouble.” “Around that time, they started gaining popularity by the masses, and they were hounded by agents and managers; practically begging them to go into the modeling business.” “They’d always been pretty.” Y/n mused, zoning out. “I was always the best friend of the pretty boy duo, never considered a pretty one; but I didn’t really care.” “While they were my best friends since childhood, as we got older, we started going our separate ways. I branched out, and I found new friends like Nanami, Utahime, and Toji.” “Then how did you end up with a tool like Gojo?” Sukuna grunted, eyeing her. “It was a rumor.” Y/n recalled, shaking her head with a laugh. “Toji wanted to go to the dance, but he didn’t have a date. We discussed going as a group, but Gojo found out from someone that I was “going” with Toji. He got angry and we fought about it. The night of the dance he showed up at my door, confessed his love for me, and we were together. Just like that.” “Just like that huh?” Sukuna mused, contemplating his next words.

“If you’re wondering where it went bad, it wasn’t for a good few years.” Y/n answered, poking his cheek hard. “Geto gave him the big brother speech, and then everything was fine.  He hadn’t started acting seriously yet, and I had just figured out that I wanted to do something in the fashion industry.” “Our teen years, were probably our happiest years.” Y/n mused, sitting up, and pulling her knees to her chest. “If I really thought about it, they were our only happy years too.” Sukuna reached out to touch her, but Y/n inched back slightly. “It’s okay. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it Sukuna. When graduation came around, we got into a really big fight because I had plans to go to college, and Gojo was going straight into acting. He thought I would go with him, to America...to Hollywood. I told him I wasn’t going to follow him around like some puppy. It what I felt like, his little lap dog.  We’d fought for weeks, and neither one of us was willing to budge.” Y/n looked over to see that she had his undivided attention. “Geto solved the problem, deciding that he’d forgo college and go with Gojo, magically solving all our problems.” She chuckled, the sound a little hollow. “We said goodbye at the end of that summer, and went on pursuing our own dreams. We were still together, but I found myself devoting so much time to school, that I barely had time for Gojo. You’d think he’d understand, he had been busy too, booking shoots as soon as he touched down at the airport; but he’d get so angry if I didn’t text him back.”  Y/n hissed, clutching her knees tighter. “He’d get so angry, and leave voicemails, and call me names. He’d ignore me for days, and then expect me to apologize.” “I knew, deep down, that his behavior should have been the indicator that what we had wasn’t going to work. It wasn’t healthy, and it wasn’t good for me; but I’d somehow convinced myself it was just the stress. I was just stressed out and our relationship was hard, but all relationships are hard, and we just needed...” she trailed off, hot tears hitting her cheeks as her body shook. 

Sukuna scrambled up, scooping her in his arms and holding him close. “I transferred to the States the following year. Gojo paid for the move and everything, the both of us agreeing that distance was just too much of a strain on our relationship.” Y/n continued, as Sukuna rocked back and forth. “Things were good for the next two years after that. I finished school early, I’d gotten an internship thanks to Geto, and with Gojo’s help I started making my own designs.” “Gojo started landing bigger roles, and going out more. It put a new strain on our relationship when I’d see nothing but tabloid after tabloid of him and his female co-stars.” Y/n mumbled, reaching up to wipe the tears off her face. “At first it was all speculation, we’d been together so long, I knew him like the back of my hand.” Y/n whispered looking away from Sukuna. “What happened?” Sukuna asked, bringing her face back toward his own. “I caught him red handed.” Y/n sighed, curling herself into Sukuna’s chest. “I caught him red handed, in the middle of the act, in our shared bedroom with that bitch Mei Mei.” Y/n seethed, clutching his shirt tightly. “We’d spent years together, literal  years together, and he threw it all away for her. And it’s not like I didn’t bring up how uncomfortable she made me feel. She always looked down on me. Acted like I was less because I was just some designer.” Y/n huffed, rolling her eyes. “That bitch sleeps with anyone that’s got a dick, but she wants to treat me like I’m the scum of the fucking earth.” She snorted, “Least I don’t have to sleep my way into getting a fucking job.” 

Sukuna found himself chuckling, causing Y/n to chuckle as well. “It seems silly, but I thought we could work past it and I stayed. That lasted all of a few days when all I could see was the two of them around our place. I freaked out, a few days after and destroyed everything in our apartment.” Y/n mumbled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t think clearly.” Sukuna only nodded, “It’s better than what I would have done if I were you,  but if you broke up; then why doesn’t Geto know what really happened?” At Geto’s name, Y/n sighed, “Gojo and I are the only two constants in his life. When we got together, we both promised that regardless of how things turned out, we’d always be there for Geto. There’s no way I could have told him about what Gojo did. It would devestate him.” Sukuna only scoffed, pulling her even closer. “That doesn’t mean you deserve to be hurt in the process.” Y/n only shrugged, “I’m used to it. I’ve always taken the brunt of it all.” “I left the states, moved back to Japan, and launched my career. This project was the first time I’d seen Gojo in years.” Y/n hummed, as the two sat listening to their surroundings. “You deserved better than the two of them” Sukuna whispered, holding Y/n close, as he felt her body shake. “It’s okay.” He mumbled, stroking her back as sobs wracked through her body. “It’s okay.”

Prev/Next

a/n: there are no taglists

#Him and I #jjk smau #smau #jujutsu kaisen x female reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #Jujutsu Kaisen #sukuna x female reader #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna

[midnightsunnyday]

Holiday dinner with the family (Black MC)

Summary: MC invites the brothers to meet their family for holiday dinner. As the day progresses, shenanigans ensue.

A/N: wrote this back during the holidays and is heavily influenced off my own familial experiences, yet exaggerated for fictional purposes. Either way, I hope you enjoy. 

Warnings: some curse language, mentions to sexual situations.

----------

1:00 PM

Lucifer: alright, we're here. For the record, I think this is a horrible idea.

Belphegor: you've already stated the record 30 times before getting here.

Lucifer: and just like the 90 times before getting here, let's go over the rules again, shall we? 

*everyone groans*

Lucifer: say them.

Everyone except MC: no using our powers, no mentioning we're demons, no mentioning we attend RAD, no mentioning we're the literal envoys of the seven biblical sins, no mentioning our actual ages, no mentioning our real names, no mentioning the Devildom, no stealing, no maiming, no sodomy, no hypnotism, no blasphemy, no betting souls, and no eating MCs family.

Lucifer: good.

Asmodeus: I'm so excited! I can't wait to show your family how wonderful I am.

MC: just make sure that's the only thing you show them.

Asmodeus: I promise I'll be a good demon. Well, as good as a demon can be.

Satan: again, I get why we had to change our names, but do they have to be so ridiculous?

Beelzebub: I like my fake human name. It’s cool.

Satan: well, I don’t. Mine makes me sound like an old man.

Mammon: um, guys? Levi's having a panic attack.

Leviathan: *hyperventilates into a sandwich bag*

Beelzebub: Levi, I know you're nervous, but you're breathing on my sandwich.

Leviathan: I can't do this, OK? Just let me sit in the car.

MC: Levi, you'll be fine.

Leviathan: Levi will not be fine. I can see them from the window. Why does your family have so many people? No way they'll want to meet--

MC: --what did I tell you about the self-deprecation?

Leviathan: but I--

MC: --listen, remember that anime we watched together: I'm a Demon Who Fell in Love With a Human and Now I Have to Meet Their Family but Little Do They Know I Have Horrible Social Anxiety?

Satan: these titles...are oddly specific.

Leviathan: oh yeah. In the end the whole family went to Hell for the wedding and was super accepting.

MC: the point is they were nervous too, but they worked through it together just like we all are. And do you know why?

Leviathan: why?

MC: because I love you, Levi, to hell and back.

Leviathan: *blushes* Alright, I'll do it. If it's for you, I'll fight all the forces of Heaven themselves!

MC: it's dinner Levi, not Armageddon, but I love the confidence.

Lucifer: good then. Now, let's get this over with. Diavolo help us all.

----------

1:15 PM

MC: which one of you gave my parents a $2000 bottle of wine? 

Mammon: $2000? I thought we agreed to give them gifts under $50?

Belphegor: that's right. Who’s the show off?

Lucifer: isn't it obvious? And please, they need to know that I'm the provider in this relationship.

Mammon: and what does that make the rest of us?

Lucifer: a pain in my ass.

----------

1:35 PM

MC: great. Now my mom won't stop bragging about "my baby's boyfriend."

Asmodeus: which one?

MC: very funny. And I'm talking about “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Bougie” himself. Though I don't recall mentioning you were my partner, Lucifer.

Lucifer: why mention the obvious, love?

Mammon: don't make me gag.

----------

2:25 PM

Satan: I don’t think your uncle cares for me much.

MC: why is that?

Satan: well, for one, he keeps referring to me as “white boy.”

MC: oh, no.

Satan: I know, right? Tell me, do I really look that pale? Granted the *whispers* Devildom doesn’t have much sun, but still. Do you think a tan would be beneficial?

MC: Satan?

Satan: yes?

MC: I love you.

----------

3:40 PM

Lucifer: one of the smaller humans asked me if they could "hold a 20."

MC: yes, I saw. In which you gave them twenty $100 bills.

Lucifer: yes, to hold. Is that not correct?

----------

3:53 PM

Mammon: MC why won't you let me near the spades table? I could be making a killing right now!

MC: because lives are at stake.

Mammon: wow that hurts, MC. Do you really think I'd hurt your family?

MC: no, I think my family would hurt you.

----------

4:13 PM

Leviathan: MC. MC. EMERGENCY. All your cousins kept asking if I had games on my phone, and I was like, "Duh, of course I do." Now they've taken my phone and won't give it back!

MC: *rises from their chair and walks off*

*the sound of screaming children is heard in the distance*

MC: there you go.

Leviathan: thanks, M…ew, why is it so sticky?

----------

5:05 PM

Asmodeus: now I know I said I’d be a “good demon,” but your aunt --

MC: --is married.

Asmodeus: oooh, so she’s a two for one deal, then?

MC: go sit in the car.

Asmodeus: but--

MC: IN THE CAR.

----------

5:48 PM

Satan: MC, I don't appreciate your family insulting my intelligence.

MC: what are you talking about?

Satan: every time a song comes on, they keep asking, "what I know about it?" It's infuriating.

MC: we really need to have a talk about colloquialisms.

----------

6:07 PM

Leviathan: I think Beel just killed MC’s dad.

Lucifer: WHAT?

MC: my dad isn’t dead, Levi, just winded.

Beelzebub: we were playing football.

Lucifer: out of all the games to play and you choose football?

Beelzebub: I said no, but they really wanted me on their team and well…I was having so much fun, that I forgot my own strength and threw the ball a bit too hard. I’m so sorry, MC.

MC: *pats his head* it’s OK Beel. Though it was hard explaining why you were capable of sending a man flying several feet through the air. On the plus side, no one wants to challenge you to anymore games.  

Beelzebub: that’s...probably for the best.

----------

7:00 PM

MC: Belphie where did you go? I haven’t seen you for several hours. *sniffs his clothes* and why do you smell like that?  

Belphegor: your house was way too noisy, so me and your cousins...went for a walk.

MC: for a walk, huh?

Belphegor: *shoves a handful of Doritos into his mouth* yep.

MC: …

Belphegor: …

MC: you’re high aren’t you?

Belphegor: I will neither confirm nor deny it.

----------

7:35 PM

Lucifer: are…are we praying?

MC: oh yeah, sorry. We always pray over the food before we eat. Don’t worry, it won’t take long

*three minutes pass*

Mammon: is it over yet?

Lucifer: *whispers* Beel, calm yourself.

Beelzebub: *shirt wet with drool* I’m trying!

*five minutes pass*

“And father god, we humbly ask that you protect everyone at this table from Satan and all his machinations, both physical and spiritual. May no evils prosper against them.”

Lucifer: yes, Lord.

Satan: *glares *

Lucifer: what? I was simply agreeing with said affirmation.

----------

7:42 PM

“In Jesus name we pray, Amen.”

Everyone: Amen.

Beelzebub: finally. We can eat.

Belphegor: an eight minute long prayer? Even Jesus would tune out.

Satan: they rebuked me so much during that I think I felt my skin burn a little.

MC: Beel, save some for everyone else, please.

----------

7:55 PM

“I see you have a lot of men around you these days, MC.”

MC: they’re my friends.  

“Funny that you have all these friends, yet not one of them is your husband.”

MC: *sips drink* I’m sure you would know a lot about having no husbands, considering you’re going through your third divorce.

Mammon: *chokes on his food *

Asmodeus: I love this family.

----------

8:05 PM

“So what did you all say you do again?”

Lucifer: Student affairs

Mammon: Entrepreneur

Leviathan: Digital media

Satan: English Literature Professor

Asmodeus: Image consultant

Beelzebub: Personal trainer

Belphegor: Mortician

MC: …

Belphegor: *smiles*

----------

8:55 PM

Belphegor: wait, we’re praying again? But we’re leaving.

Lucifer: at this point we’re so blessed we could qualify for sainthood.

Mammon: hang in there, bro.

Satan: I think I feel a few blisters forming.

----------

11:35 PM

Lucifer: well, that could have gone worse.

MC: see? Everything worked out.

Lucifer: other than a few mishaps, this evening turned out to be quite pleasant.

Asmodeus: right? I had so much fun with your family, MC.

Beelzebub: I think soul food is my favorite kind of food.

Satan: do you think we made a good impression?

MC: I’ve gotten nothing but notifications since we left. Everyone wants to know when I plan to bring back… *sighs* “my rich boyfriend and his brothers.”

Mammon: I resent that first part.

Lucifer: the part where I’m rich or the part where I’m their boyfriend?

Mammon: BOTH.

MC: you guys know you’re all my family, right? So just know you’re in this for the long haul. No backing out.

Lucifer: *smiles* as if we ever planned to.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegore #obey me x black mc

[whereisten]

True Love

A Jeno fic that’s a part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: You, an employee at an entertainment company, are immune to the charms of their biggest star Lee Jeno.

Pairing: Rockstar! Jeno x female reader

Genre: romance, drama, fantasy, suspense

Warning: alcohol use, smut mention, stalking, manipulation 

Word Count: 4.3k

(A/N: Hiya! I’m so sorry for the delay! It’s been so hectic lol! Thank you so much for your support and patience! Hope you enjoy! And shoutout to Krys for keeping me sane and for all of her love and support. I love you! :D)

___

To everyone in the world, Lee Jeno was the epitome of perfection and rock royalty. He was a gifted musician from the very young age of five, having specialized in several instruments in his childhood. However, his heart gravitated to the guitar. He became a trainee at LCF Entertainment and along with four other trainees, they became the world famous rock band, Temptation.

He was ranked in the top 23 in World Magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive this year. He was a walking and talking Adonis with a heartwarming smile.

Jeno was a man of many talents but he certainly didn’t let it get to his head. He was a humanitarian, a UNICEF ambassador, fostered shelter animals, was the proud owner of three cats even though he was allergic, a great family man (funding his siblings’ college tuition and providing for his parents so they could retire early), etc. He did it all and he had it all.

How could anyone be immune to his charms?

People wondered who would be the queen that would reign beside him when he settled down. Frankly, one couldn’t be anything short of a supermodel on the verge of sainthood. So many hopeful contenders were discouraged from pursuing him.

Jeno’s dating life was non-existent, the paparazzi dreaded to inform.

But you were an employee of LCF Entertainment so you knew the truth, as well as the true nature of the famous Lee Jeno. He was basically like any other young man with an inflated ego. He was cocky, a huge flirt when the cameras were off, very picky, and demanding. But no one ever dared speak a word of his true nature to the paparazzi. And you always wondered why. Someone had to bring him down a few pegs.

You were the staff photographer and videographer, in charge of capturing Jeno’s good and “relatable but still unbelievably glamorous” sides. When the camera was on, that was when you felt at ease.

It didn’t help that Jeno liked you either. Although you’d been working with Temptation and the individual members for a few years now, it was only recently that Jeno really was set on it pursuing you.

When you switched off the camera after the recording of Jeno’s backstage vlog, he sat comfortably at his makeup chair and proceeded to ask, “Y/n, will you go out with me now?”

You answered immediately, “No.”

Jeno gave you a sad puppy dog face. “Why not?”

“We’ve gone over this. I would get fired.” You wanted to spare his feelings so that was what you always said when he asked you out.

Jeno groaned. “You would not. I wouldn’t let that happen.”

You snorted. “You think you have that kind of power, Lee?”

He liked when you called him by his last name. “That’s because I do have that power, y/n. The new company building is funded solely out of my earnings from my last solo album.”

You whistled. “There’s that humility I’m always reading about in O!What Magazine…”

Jeno smiled. “You read articles about me?”

“I do when my name is in the article, boss.” You started packing up your equipment, ready to call it a day and head home.

Jeno got out of his chair and stood over you. He smelled of Dior Sauvage, cologne from his latest brand endorsement. He wore his stage clothes from his solo concert rehearsal. A sleeveless jean jacket top that parted down the middle to show his abs. Along his abs, silver chains dangled and added a nice glimmer effect when he was on stage. The entire team was thrilled to see how the audience would eat it up.

He whispered into your ear, “Y/n.”

Truthfully? He was attractive. You’d always had a little crush on him but it was of a shallow nature. You liked him for his looks. Not so much for his personality. You’d known too much.

If Jeno had been any other regular guy, you would’ve been open to a one-night stand.

But Jeno wasn’t just any regular guy.

You tried to hide the fact that shivers ran down your spine. “Stop.”

He chuckled. “But I can see you through the reflection, y/n...You're crossing your legs…”

You’d hoped he wasn’t that perceptive but it turned out he was. You hid away the fact that you were turned on. Your panties were damp but you’d be damned if he ever knew that.

You met Jeno’s perfectly lined eyes as he looked at you unapologetically. Everyone else from the staff already left. Jeno’s manager was waiting downstairs to take him to the radio station J-423 for his upcoming interview.

You were breathless now. “Jeno, you’re going to be late-”

He pulled you into him and kissed you, easily slipping his tongue into your mouth and working magic against yours. You couldn’t help but return his kiss. His mouth was paradise and you wondered what else he could do with it.

He let you go after a few minutes and cupped your face. “So are you going to deny that there’s something going on here?”

You tried to catch your breath as you wiped your lipstick off of Jeno’s mouth. “No, I guess not...But this is where it stops.”

Jeno frowned. “Y/n…”

“I know where I stand. And you know it, too. And Jeno, I don’t like you that way...I’m sorry.” You caressed his face and grabbed your things, leaving Jeno with an unreadable expression on his face.

___

As a member of LCF Entertainment, your ultimate goal was profit. That was what you had to know from the very beginning. There was no such thing as LCF Family or truly prioritizing the idols. Everyone was after themselves. Whoever brought the most money to the company would get the most attention and special treatment. And that was Jeno.

And you, an aspiring film director, were thankful to be on his team because this experience could open doors for you in the future as a director. Sure, Jeno was a diva and he couldn’t stop flirting with you, but the experience wasn’t all that bad. And yeah it was frustrating that the media and the public perceived Jeno to be the nation’s sweetheart. But in the end, he wasn’t hurting anyone.

He was only hurting people’s wallets.

Temptation’s merchandise always sold out quickly but Jeno’s individual merch was always the first to sell out. And it was the first to get resold for twice and sometimes even triple the price. The fanbase was very merciless and selfish with each other. However, the scalpers were the true evil. That was less money going to your company, after all.

Even though frontman Jeno was the most popular member of Temptation, it was Temptation’s drummer Xiaojun that you had a massive crush on for a long time now. You even accumulated a secret collection of his merch. You were two photocards away from completing your Xiaojun album photocard collection.

Xiaojun even admitted to liking you back but you both kept it a secret from everyone else in the world, especially LCF. You two weren’t about to compromise your jobs. However, since Temptation was the biggest moneymaker in the game and the boys had been with the company for quite some time now, their dating ban was lifted.

Which explained why Jeno had been asking you out all week, not caring who listened and it freaked you out.

If Jeno’s fans ever found out he asked you out, they would pin the blame on you.

A week had passed since you told Jeno you weren’t interested in him. You felt bad for hurting him but you were also worried about his mood. He had the power to get you dismissed. You refused to believe he would be so cruel.

And up until this point, you were right. You were still employed and Jeno spoke with you like any other day, talking about camera angles and new concepts for upcoming shoots.

The end of another work week and Xiaojun surprises you on your way to the bus stop.

“Y/n,” Xiaojun pulls up beside you in his Porsche. He looked so elegant in a pale blue sweater and blue jeans. His face was concealed by a mask so he could leave undetected. But you’d recognized those eyebrows anywhere.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I...I think we should finally talk…”

“About?”

He smiled. “About dating.”

You nearly dropped your phone out of your hand from the shock. “Really?”

He said, “Get in so I can drive you home!”

You nodded fervently and got into his passenger seat. Was this really happening?

On the drive home, Xiaojun told you he wanted to take it slow and have indoor dates with you first. You couldn’t agree more. He even surprised you with a brand new pair of AirPods after you told him that your brother took them from you.

The first of many gifts, he told you.

You got home that night and screamed excitedly into your pillow so as not to frighten your roommates

___

It has been a month since you and Xiaojun started seeing each other. You were on cloud nine. He would visit you at your apartment and would play with his dog Bella. Bella loved you a little more than she loved Xiaojun so you two would always bicker and end the night in each other’s arms.

Jeno noticed the spring in your step as you filmed his cooking vlog. He was showing his fans how he cooked breakfast for himself when he had down time. He was in a plain white T-shirt and a pair of drawstring trousers. He looked relaxed and for many, delectable, as his hair was wet from a shower. He was trying very hard to get your attention once again.

He anticipated you averting your eyes and stuttering at the sight of him but nothing. You whistled while you adjusted the tripod’s position.

“What’s got you so happy?” Jeno asked.

You nearly jumped at his question. You decided to be upfront. “I’m seeing Xiaojun.”

Jeno’s cool facade nearly cracked before your very eyes. “Oh?”

You apologized. “I’m sorry, Jeno. I should’ve told you that I liked Xiaojun…”

Jeno was furious. What the hell did Xiaojun have that he didn’t? Jeno was more muscular, taller, more talented, wealthier, more attractive...He was superior to Jeno in every way and everyone else knew it, too.

He honed his acting skills and replied evenly, “Why are you apologizing, y/n? So you like someone else...I’ll live.”

You realized maybe Jeno didn’t like you as much as you thought so you felt relieved to hear his dismissive tone. “Right. Good. I just...thought you should know…”

You and Jeno continued the shoot. He acted like nothing had happened and even behind the scenes, he joked with you and asked you which of the female trainees he should ask out. You berated him because female trainees were not allowed to date and he knew this very well. Jeno was back to his arrogant self and you were relieved.

___

You got a text from Xiaojun that he was finishing up a filming schedule with his bandmates. You wouldn’t be able to see him today because the schedule was running overtime.

He told you to go to dinner with some friends at Osaka Moon. His treat. He was good friends with the chef, apparently. You were on your way to the restaurant to meet your friends.

You were shocked at how down-to-earth Xiaojun still was after achieving so much fame and then he would do things like this. It gave you whiplash but you were having the time of your life with him.

However, you noticed him across the street. Xiaojun always wore different wigs and masks for his disguised outings with you.

But this time, there were no disguises. His side swept blonde hair and his thin framed glasses. There was no mistaking that it was him.

Was the filming for the show at the Downtown Hotel?

You were about to call his name when you saw another woman wrap her arms around him and squeeze his ass. She had long wavy brown hair and a slender frame. She could’ve been a model or a singer. They both entered the expensive hotel. Very bold of him to take her out so publicly when he was still intent on hiding you.

You felt like someone knocked the breath out of you. You shook your head in disbelief.

Immediately, you dialed Xiaojun’s number and there was no answer. You called four more times and nothing.

Son of a bitch, you thought.

He played you. You should’ve known he was no different than any other dickhead A-lister.

You decided to call his bandmates. It turned out that the filming they’d done today wrapped up over two hours ago.

Haechan had no idea where he was. Jisung didn’t either. Jaemin was equally perplexed. Last but not least you called Jeno.

He answered. “Hello?”

At this point, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. “Jeno…”

“Y/n? What’s wrong?”

“Do you know where Xiaojun is?”

“Not specifically...he did mention he had a reservation at the Downtown Hotel…”

You sniffled. “He did?”

“I thought he was meeting you…”

“No, he wasn’t…”

“Oh...Oh, shit, y/n. I am so-“

“It’s okay...Thanks Jeno. I’ll see you on Monday…”

You told your friends to have dinner without you and to make sure to spare no expense because your so-called boyfriend was buying. You told them Xiaojun finished at the last minute and wanted to take you dancing.

A total lie so you could wallow at your local bar.

You sat right by the bar and downed a few glasses of beer. Just to feel anything else besides the betrayal you felt.

A half hour later, you were even more buzzed now. A young man sat beside you at the counter.

He started, “Hello, gorgeous.”

You looked at the young man. He was stunning. Another face that belonged on television. Another one of those who was capable of seducing you and tossing you away the very next second.

You flipped the bird. “Bite me.”

The young man scoffed and tried again, “Feisty, aren’t we?”

He got closer to you and you began to feel uncomfortable. “Please leave me alone…”

“Tsk tsk. A beautiful girl like you in tears? You need someone who will bring your smile back.”

“And you’re the man for that job?” Someone interrupted.

You were shocked to find Jeno here. He looked gorgeous in a black leather jacket and dark jeans. His hair was slicked back the way you liked it most and wow, you may have had one too many drinks...A few customers recognized Jeno and started whispering and taking their cameras out.

“Jeno?” You nearly lost your balance as you got up from your chair.

Jeno grabbed you immediately before the other guy could.

The stranger said, “Why do you get to put your hands on her? Just cause you're some pretty boy with mediocre music...I’m sure she’s nothing compared to who you’ve bedded before-“

Jeno socked him in the face and escorted you out of the bar. The stranger cursed you both out as you left. Jeno led you quickly into his manager’s car that he borrowed for the night. You felt a little dizzy.

Jeno fastened your seatbelt.

You smiled at him. “Thanks.”

He looked at you in concern. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “Why are men scum, Jeno?”

Jeno sighed. “I’m so sorry about-“

“Don’t say his name...I...never want to see him again...God, now I have to sell all of his merch…”

Jeno frowned in confusion and continued, “I’ll take you home…”

You didn’t want to face your roommates. “No...Can I…Spend the night with you?”

It took all of Jeno’s might not to get out his car and raise his fist in the air. But he composed himself. “Are you sure?”

You nodded, wanting to forget all about Xiaojun and have one thoughtless night with Jeno. “Yes.”

Jeno drove you two to his penthouse suite. He was cautious around you and you were ready to shrug away your inhibitions.

Jeno helped you remove your coat at the entrance. “Take a seat. I’ll get you some water.”

You sat yourself on the couch and opened your legs wide, exposing your panties underneath your skirt. “Jeno, fuck me right now so I can forget his sorry ass.”

Jeno hesitated then but seeing how irresistible you were...He couldn’t help himself.

He asked again. “Are you sure?”

You nodded. You were buzzed but not that buzzed. You wanted to spite Xiaojun. You wanted to acknowledge the part of you that longed for Jeno for so long, too. You’d be stupid to deny that you fantasized about a night with him.

You hesitated before but now you said, why the hell not?  

You and Jeno made love that night. Jeno was over the moon that you were finally in his arms. Sure it was a rebound but the look in your eyes when he was inside you had to mean something. There was a promise there and Jeno held onto that glimmer of hope.

Jeno took you home the next day and he was very cool about the whole night. Right before you returned home. you reminded him about how this was a one night stand and thanked him for a wonderful night.

You were resolute in dumping Xiaojun and simply going back to work. Thankful you only ever worked for Jeno anyway. And as expected, Jeno was his usual self: cocky, flirty, sending his food back for random reasons.

Xiaojun came under the fire for going to a hotel with a potential prostitute. The identity of the woman he was seen with remained a mystery. He tried convincing everyone that the woman was not a prostitute but he couldn’t remember how he met her or what she looked like. That night and along with how crazy Xiaojun sounded caused the company to encourage him to leave. Xiaojun’s contract with LCF Entertainment was terminated.

The week after you and Jeno made love...You started catching feelings for him. Every glance. Every fleeting touch. It drove you mad. And suddenly that one night stand was something you wanted again. And again. And again.

You accompanied Jeno and his manager as he attended a gallery opening. You were in charge of his photos for his social media. He looked extremely dapper in his red suit. You just wanted to rip his clothes off and make love to him in front of all of the guests. Becoming a work of art yourselves.

These thoughts you’ve been having used to scare you but now...you owned them. Tonight, when you got him alone, you would tell him how you really felt. You hoped you weren’t too late.

Jeno’s manager excused himself to get some refreshments. Jeno observed a painting while you took some more photos.

“Stunning,” you said aloud.

Jeno’s eyes grew at your words. “Wow, y/n...All the years we’ve worked together and you’ve never made a comment about my looks…”

Your face grew warm then. “I’m feeling a little bolder these days…”

He grinned. “Is that so?”

“Jeno, I won’t beat around the bush…I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night…”

“Y/n…”

“I know I said it was a one night stand and...You’ve moved on…”

Jeno started, “I haven’t…”

You were shocked to hear it. “Really?”

He moved closer to you and moved the camera away from your line of sight. “What are you saying, y/n?” His voice was dangerously low.

“I’m saying...that I want to be with you, Jeno.”

Jeno’s smile looked so gorgeous then. He was the true work of art at the gallery. “Well, y/n, I’ve made my feelings abundantly clear for a while now…”

He kissed you then. And the cameras started flashing.

You were on cloud nine. You finally released your suppressed feelings for the rockstar before you.

___

You’ve been together for two years now. He made you feel safe and loved. He showered you with gifts and trips to the most beautiful parts of the world.

As for the response from netizens and the company? Jeno had all the power and he could handle a few naysayers. Your job as his photographer and videographer remained intact. And you were well on your way to transitioning to your own film projects: your dream.

You and Jeno had become a couple to root for. They called you The Prince and The Pauper Turned Princess. You hated your label but whenever you looked at Jeno’s eyes, any anxiety or anger quickly faded.

Jeno had a solo performance in your city tonight and you were seated in a private booth. He was performing so well, moving from instrument to instrument. Driving people to tears with his long low notes. And then he surprised everyone with his announcement.

“Before I perform ‘Changed Your Mind’, I want to give a shout-out to the woman of my dreams, y/n, who is here with us tonight.”

The stadium roared in excitement and many heads turned to you. Your eyes never left Jeno.

“Y/n, I love you so much. We’ve come so far, baby. And I want us to never stop. Which is why…”

He got down from the stage and was escorted by security down to the crowd. He ran his hands past adoring fans as he made his way to you.

He entered your booth with his camera crew and security close by. “Y/n, will you marry me?”

You cried out, “Yes!”

Jeno picked you up and spun you around. You kissed passionately. The crowd’s roars thundered now. It was a celebration. You didn’t care that all eyes were on you now, as well. All you cared about was Jeno. And he loved you more than anything else in the world.

You truly found your soulmate and you couldn’t be happier.

___

Jeno finished his show and was backstage cooling down with a bottle of water.

“Good job tonight,” a woman said as she stood at the door of Jeno’s dressing room.

“Thank you, sis. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jeno’s older sister Yeeun sat on the couch of the dressing room. “How does it feel to have her in your clutches now?”

Jeno smirked. “Pretty damn great.”

“And I’m here to collect my payment, little brother.”

Jeno sighed. “Really? It’s been two years.”

Yeeun looked at her manicured nails. “I’ve been busy.”

Jeno laughed. “Screwing over taken men? I’m sorry, I meant screwing taken men?”

“Nope. That task was a one-and-done deal. How is that poor boy doing these days?”

“Xiaojun? He’s back at school getting his master’s...He’s happy.”

“Has he tried to contact y/n since then?” Yeeun asked.

Jeno chuckled. “No. Why would he?”

She smiled at him. “They were sweet together. And you tore them apart because you couldn’t take no for an answer, could you?”

Jeno rolled his eyes. “And what about it? I have a right to get whatever I want. Do you know who I am?”

Yeeun sighed. “Yes, you repeatedly tell the family group chat who you are every week. And we all take it because you pay us well…”

Jeno and Yeeun had conspired against you and Xiaojun. Jeno stole Xiaojun’s phone and Yeeun charmed Xiaojun to join her for a night at the hotel. Jeno planned for you to go to Osaka Moon so you could see Xiaojun and Yeeun together.

Jeno watched you as you broke down in tears, calling each of his bandmates. He made sure he was far enough away by the time you called him. He played the part of a concerned friend very well. He had to take up acting, another field he would surely dominate. And with you as his director? It made him hard just thinking about it.

Jeno didn’t coincidentally find you at the bar. He’d been tailing and that stranger who hit on you was only an added bonus. Jeno could play the unsuspecting hero and you would eat it up. And that you did. He was satisfied to know that you wanted to sleep with him. He didn’t care about being a rebound.

Even so, he wasn’t going to take any chances. So after you left his penthouse the next morning, he took the bedsheets you came on and the strands of hair you left behind and got to work.

Did you really think Jeno amassed such success and wealth all on his own? He had a little help from his family and their friends from Hell, of course. Jeno’s family came from a long line of Satan-worshipping witches. Jeno was the youngest of the descendants.

Human sacrifice was only a small token of the Lee family’s appreciation to Lucifer. So Jeno’s deception of Xiaojun was almost nothing in the list of gruesome things Jeno has done to reach the top of his game.

Yeeun was able to literally charm Xiaojun with her own special concoction. Once she and Xiaojun had sex, she wiped his memory of that hour and left him alone at the hotel. Confused. Disoriented. Worried.

As for you? Well, you were the most irresistible creature in this world. Your immunity to his charms was only the first step in his growing feelings for you. You were brilliant and talented at your craft, always capturing his best features on camera. You were gorgeous. He was surprised you didn’t become an idol at LCF yourself. You were warm and sweet and giving. Even if the company was cutthroat, he saw how you’d be with your coworkers and the other idols. You were just a pure, loving girl. And he desperately needed you. Desired you. Craved you.

He simply had to call you his.

With your samples, he was able to create the perfect spell to make you his.

Forever.

That was what Jeno called true love.

[Fin]

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[snifflesthemouse]

Harry’s Blaming the Wrong People for his Genetic Trauma... Chapter Two of Lady Colin Campbell’s book reveals a lot!

         The more I listen to Lady Colin Campbell’s YouTube Channel, the more I realize how little I truly paid attention to what she was really saying in her most recent book. Lady C is a woman of high caliber. She understands better than anyone that HOW something is said matters MORE than WHAT is said. She knows how to get information out there in a way that prevents any lawsuit happy turkeys from getting litigious. There is more than one way to say something. Finding the way that says it all without saying it all… well that is an artform.

         To be honest, I believe all the answers we really want to know are woven into that book. Here recently, especially since the video about Princess Anne and the conversation had with Harry, I have noticed little clues dropped. One could almost argue that Lady C has somewhat direct information being given to her from close sources. And it is worth noting, to date there have been zero legal actions taken by the Montecito Muppets. Because of this, I have started re-reading Meghan and Harry, The Real Story. It’s important to remember I am taking this go-round literally line-by-line. This post is specifically about chapter two in the book.

         Chapter two is the chapter in which Lady Colin Campbell provides us with Harry’s and his wife’s upbringings. She draws comparisons between both spare and spouse, as well as contrasting points. When she gets to Harry’s side, the light bulb started to get juice. You see, when you consider that Lady Colin Campbell was first chosen by Diana to write the biography Andrew Morton later got tapped to pen, Lady Colin Campbell was given a unique opportunity. She was able to see who the person was behind the media image of Diana, Princess of Wales.

        She could not put aside her dignity, her responsibility of the truth, to seal that deal. Andrew Morton had no qualms with twisting truths slightly to perpetuate the Diana Saga. When you factor in Lady Colin Campbell’s knowledge on the British Royal Family, especially regarding the Queen Mother, you realize that Lady C is telling us who’s really behind the Montecito Man-Child just called Harry. Which again brings me back to the light bulb moment.

         This whole time, Harry and his wife have been hurling accusations at his family. Harry especially pointed blame toward his father, grandmother, and late grandfather for causing his “genetic pain” and trauma. But if we look at what Lady Colin Campbell writes in chapter two of the book, we learn the reality of life growing up for William and Harry. Lady C writes in chapter two that Diana would encourage the boys to go against the grain, even if that meant bucking the protocols and measures put in place to protect the Crown’s survival.

         Lady C mentions that William and Harry both were wild children with little to no rules to follow from their mother. She writes that Diana was infamous for screaming matches, throwing matches, and the peace of the home rested solely on the status of Diana’s love life. She says Charles was approving of James Hewitt, knew of their affair, and was okay with him teaching the boys how to ride horses. Diana would rotate between James Hewitt, Hasnat Kahn, and eventually Dodi. When trouble was brewing for Diana and a lover, she brought that trouble to Charles.

          Furthermore, the Queen Mother was so concerned with instilling her own influences on the future of the Crown, she was a major influence in the issues between Prince Charles and his mother, Her Majesty the Queen. Lady Colin Campbell even writes in chapter two that the Queen Mother would tell Prince Charles it isn’t his place to stand up to the mother of his children, even when she was leading her boys down a wild-child path.

           History cannot ignore the facts. Lady Colin Campbell even highlights how Diana’s own grandmother was so disgusted with how Diana was behaving and undermining the monarchy, she died before Diana and she could make amends. Her grandmother was a Lady of the Bedchamber for the Queen Mother, and she died 4 years before Diana. Her own grandmother saw through her tricks, as the Queen Mother did.

         Again, what’s my long, drawn out point? Well, just in the first half of chapter two… we learn that Charles is a hot mess because of the Queen Mother’s meddling and Diana was the one in control of how the boys were raised. As a matter of fact, Diana was known to tell the boys “do whatever you want as long as you don’t get caught”.

         Of course, I still have the rest of chapter two to finish, but I found it especially interesting that Lady C quotes the Kensington Palace chef, Darren McGrady (1993-1997) as remembering Diana telling him frequently to keep an eye out for William. She would tell him that William would manage, but Harry was an airhead like her. The exact wording on page 47 of the book says “You take care of the heir; I’ll look after the spare” (Campbell, 2020). So what does all this mean? Why does it matter? And how is THIS a light bulb moment for me?

         Well, when you consider the fact Harry and his wife repeatedly bash his own family (more so from the former lately than the latter)… and you consider the factual recollections from everyone else… you realize Harry is blaming the wrong people for his problems. He says his father and grandparents are to blame for his own pain, that his father only treated him how he was treated by his own parents. But that goes against reality and truth. Because Charles was raised differently than his siblings; mainly because of the Queen Mother favoring him. Plus, William and Harry spent far more time residing with their mother than they did their father. By the age of twelve, a child’s personality is already well-seeded and developed. Essentially, who you were around puberty is who you are now, save for the maturity gained.

         What we have here is repeated historical recollections of both women, the Queen Mother and Diana, being at the source of it all. Charles failed to step in and prevent his boys from growing up wildly misbehaved because he took more advice from the Queen Mother than his own mother and father. We have Diana constantly instilling in Harry this sense of bucking tradition and being the rebellious one. Both women had a direct hand in creating who Harry is. Both women left him rather large chunks of change when they passed. Yet… neither are blamed when Harry goes on the record? You mean to tell me, the two women who essentially gave you all of your wealth… the two women who predominately raised you to a teen… had no impact on you life nor bare some of the weight of responsibility for your issues? Just your father? Hmm.

         Why does Harry only blame his father and his grandparents? Why doesn’t he ever utter one word about his mother that is honest instead of some fanatical warped version of a distant memory? He instead hoists all the blame from his own mother and great-grandmother onto the Royal Family. Why does he never mention how his mother would have screaming matches with his father, throwing things, or how she had multiple heated affairs of her own? How she struggled with her own relationships and would gaslight his father? We hear him slant his father for cheating on his mother, but never a word about his mother cheating on his father, too.

         My whole point is Harry is comfortable blaming the people still living who cannot respond to these accusations. He is not comfortable with the truth. Why? Well, let’s face it. A lot of the affection and love people have for Harry is transference. Most people “loved” him because they loved her. They loved Harry because she loved Harry. People felt like they were serving, honoring even, Diana’s legacy by sparing Harry a harsh glance. He’s the spare, “Diana’s second son” who’s not so bright. Hey let’s give the ol’ chap a break.

         He can’t let anything get in the way of his mother’s victimhood, martyrdom, sainthood status. It tarnishes his own brand. When the world starts remembering the facts or realizing Diana wasn’t so innocent, the world stops garnering sympathy for Harry. The world isn’t as easily manipulated when they don’t feel sorry for you, remember? So, Harry’s biggest chore to date is protecting that image of the lamb taken to slaughter that he paints his mother to be. Without that, his own brand crumbles.

         Sorry again for the rambling, but it’s important to truly think and consider just how vital a role both women had and still have in Harry’s life now. Two of the biggest reasons he could just leave the Royal way of life are the Queen Mother and Diana. They are also two of the biggest influences that made life as traumatic as it was. Yet, never a word mentioned about their own responsibility in Harry’s “generic pain”. Oops, meant genetic.

[museswithinx]

"I agree it's hardly fair. This woman was prepared to sleep with you--or already has--and you don't know her name. Hardly fair at all." She nodded. "Okay, maybe not, but I still don't know how your special, magic dick is supposed to make me feel special? Is it the privilege?"

"All of it? Whoa, settle down on the detail there, I'm overwhelmed." Feigning devastation, she murmured bravely, "I'll recover." Even if she did know she was right and would just have to take the long way around to prove it. "Because you're Kol and Anikaia's son," she corrected. "They're very judgy. I think they're trying to get better, but they've got a long way to go." Turning to briefly make eye contact, sharing that momentary flicker of understanding, she nodded. "Told you so."

She knew the disdain was mutual between the two families, but he was still the right person for this job. "Ruth Grant, Warrior of Justice, it's on my business card," she quipped.

"I'm so glad you agree." He grins unashamed. "Because I know how to use it, obviously. It's more of a gift, really, but you can consider it a privilege as well."

"Well I figured the details were unnecessary unless you'd forgotten all your very wrong points." He responds coolly. As she stated they were trying to be better, Deniz couldn't help but snort at that. "Are they though? Seems to me they're still as judgy and holier-than-thou as they've always been. But what do I know? I'm sure their parents are all up for sainthood." Shrugging, it would seem they did have some understanding. He'd never really thought about it before. Smirking a bit at her smug response, he mimics in an impression of her voice, "Told you so."

Deniz really didn't understand what certain family members saw in that family. Some of it was pack bonds or whatever but considering how they viewed his branch of the Mikaelson tree, sometimes he felt a bit betrayed by those bonds. "I wouldn't be surprised if that were true."

#ofstrengthisms #( deniz mikaelson ; ) #( deniz & ruth tag ; ) #answered #//the understanding!!! #i almost can't believe i never thought of it before lol

[norahastuff]

Another thing about 5x16 that I didn’t mention in the last post, is the romanticisation of Mary. S12 does a lot of work in tearing down the perfect sainted mother image, but the seeds of that are there in this episode. I mean the ideal of Mary hasn’t been torn down yet (though finding out she was a hunter who made a demon deal did put a dent in it) but one thing that is addressed is the myth that John and Mary were this perfect, perpetually happy couple. 

SAM: Dad always said they had the perfect marriage.

DEAN: It wasn’t perfect until after she died

And neither was Mary. The things Dean thinks he knew about her, how much of that was his own unreliable memories and how much was John painting a sanitised picture of the woman that she was? I mean finding Mary’s killer became John’s crusade so it’s no wonder that he turned her into a saint, which she really wasn’t. Believing that was part of what messed up Dean’s perceptions of relationships and what he expected of the people he loved, lest we forget that one leviathan pretending to be Dean’s astute observation that he “doesn't have relationships. No, he has applications for sainthood.”

This was in s7, and was a big part of why the most recent tragedy he’s just gone through, Cas/Godstiel/Leviathans, has shaken him so much. Sure losing Cas hurt, but it’s also the guilt at not being able to see what was really going on with him and not being able to save him that’s eating away at him. And why couldn’t he see that? Because Cas occupied a certain role in his mind. Despite their fighting and feeling like he was being abandoned by Cas throughout s6, ultimately Cas was still the larger than life badass hero who turned his back on heaven and everything he believed in to fight by Dean’s side and help save the world, and when Cas was knocked off that pedestal Dean had him on, it shook his worldview so profoundly but was ultimately a good thing, because it laid the foundation for Dean being able to see Cas a person. A flawed real person who was just trying to do his best, and that was what led to them being able to develop a very different kind of relationship, one that was on much more equal footing than what they’d had before. 

The same is true for Dean and Mary in s12. That’s why Amara brings Mary back to life. In Dean’s eyes Mary has been this sainted figure, this martyr and yet also someone whose death took away his innocence and forced him to give up on his own needs and happiness because he had to step into her role after she died. So there was always this weird dichotomy of “she’s perfect and good and I will never live up to that kind of perfection” as well as “I’m angry at her for leaving me to pick up all the pieces and having to give up my sense of self” which undoubtedly led to even more confusion for Dean, because how do you resent a saint? Honestly Bobo did such a good job writing that Dean and Mary confrontation in 12x22, it was an arc that had to pay off years of character development and managed to do it so well, so kudos to him on that. 

Mary’s real and not perfect, and yet Dean loves her anyway. It means that unattainable goal of perfection Dean always hated himself for not being able to reach...well maybe he didn’t have to. Things weren’t black and white, people weren’t just saints or sinners.

Also the whole “Sam thinking Mary and John had the perfect marriage because of stories he’d heard” thing  brings up the of idea of preserving your kids innocence out of love. Sam has a lot of different stories and ideas about his childhood and history, some told by John and never corrected by Dean, because Dean wanted Sam to be a kid as long as he could and if he could protect Sam in any way, he would. 

It’s something that comes up over and over again, and not just with Sam and Dean. How about in 10x20 when Dean sees how hurt and upset Claire still is with Cas? Dean defends him and tells her because of her father’s sacrifice “Cas was able to save the world. The world.” That’s not the whole truth, Cas definitely helped but Dean made it sound like he did it alone, because that’s how he wanted Claire to see Cas, and to understand him (also the original line was that Cas helped save the world, but Jensen being Jensen knew Dean would talk Cas up more than that.) 

I was going to say Sam does it too with Jack, but that one is a little complicated. When he’s trying to bond with Jack by telling him about his own struggles with morality and demon blood, he talks about how his family, Dean and Cas, were there for him. I mean arguably that’s not true at all if you take s4 in to account, Cas was being brainwashed by heaven into actually encouraging Sam’s addiction and descent, but then he is there for Sam in s5. But Sam’s not about to tell Jack about how Cas was a flawed person with a complicated history. In fact at the start of s13, Cas is essentially in the s1 Mary role. He’s the perfect untouchable martyr, his death broke Dean (and also led to Dean whitewashing a lot of the reasons behind what actually caused Cas’ death) and left a profound hole in Jack’s life. 

But luckily this wasn’t s1. Cas didn’t stay the idealised martyr, he was brought back. 

Oh and Cas has done the “whitewash the truth for your son” thing multiple times the most significant is the one I remember a lot of people were angry about back when 14x02 aired, in which Cas tells Jack about when he was human  “I had Sam and Dean. But I had something else that was extremely helpful. I had myself. Just the basic me, as, uh...as Dean would say, without all the bells and whistles.”

Some people were annoyed that Cas said he had Sam and Dean, because Dean had kicked him out of the bunker and he was left to fend for himself. Thing is there were extenuating circumstances which Dean repeatedly apologised for and which Cas understood and forgave. Besides he did have them. Dean tried to protect him from the angels. He told him to go to the bunker. They saved him from the reaper. Dean saved him from the angel who tried to kill him. So sure, despite all that, Dean did leave him out on his own but again, Cas isn’t going to reveal all that messy hurtful history to Jack. He wants to protect him and for him to see the best in Dean. It’s what parents do.

Thing is, unlike John, Sam, Dean and Cas didn’t tell any of those somewhat edited truths in order to get Claire or Jack to join their revenge missions or enable their crusades, they did it because that’s what they knew was best for them in that moment and because it’s what they needed to hear. 

Anyway, the point is that Dark Side of the Moon is such a crucial episode for Sam, Dean and Cas and I love how much of the characters’ core traits and struggles it manages to address in such a nuanced way (see also Sam and Dean’s relationship as well as Dean and Cas’ individual relationships with faith as well as their joint relationship with it.)

#spn rewatch #5x16 #my spn thoughts #long post for ts #spn meta #this episode gets me ok? #spn

[hopelikethemoon]

Loses (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Loses Rating: PG-13 Length: 1700 Warnings: Potential triggers if you have toxic family members and/or triggers realted to parental death. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in Colombia in 1990.  Summary: Reader and Javier talk during a stakeout.

@grapemama​​​ @seawhisperer​​​ @huliabitch​​ @pedropascalito​​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​​ @thewallpapergoesorido​ @twomoonstwosuns​​​ @gooddaykate​​​ @livasaurasrex​ @ham4arrow​​​ @plexflexico​​​ @readsalot73​​​ @hdlynn​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​ @randomness501​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​​  @roxypeanut​​​ @snivellusim​​ @lukesrighthand​​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​​ @awesomefandomsunited​​ @ah-callie​​​​ @swhiskeys​​​​ @lady-tano​​​​ @beskar-droids​​​​ @space-floozy​​​​ @cable-kenobi​​​​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @himbopoes​​​​ @findhimfives​​​​ @pedrosdoll​​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​​ @arrowswithwifi​​​​ @random066​​​ @uncomicalhumour​​​​ @heather-lynn​​​ @domino-oh-damn​​​​ @cyarikaaa​​​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​​​  @yabby-girl​​​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​​​ @punkass-potato​​​​ @coredrive​​​​ @pascalesque​​​​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​​​​ @queenquazar​ @sabinemorans​​​​ @buckstaposition​​​​ @holkaskrosnou​​​​ @yespolkadotkitty​​​​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​​​​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps

“Can you hand me the binoculars?” You requested, holding your hand out behind you as you peered out the window. 

Javier shifted in his seat, reaching into the backseat to grab them off the floor. “Do you see something?” He questioned as he passed them to you.

You brought them up to your face and looked through the lenses. You rotated the focus toggle, trying to focus in on the person who was walking out of an alley several hundred yards away from the car. “No.” You huffed, sitting the binoculars on your thighs as you sank back into your seat. “It’s just an old woman walking her dog.”

He chuckled, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Not quite a dangerous member of the cartel, huh?”

“No.” You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “This feels like a bust.”

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth as he glanced at his watch, “Only another six hours.”

You groaned, turning in your seat to look back at Steve. He was stretched out on the backseat, sound asleep on his backpack-turned-pillow. “I wish that were me.”

“Ditto.” Javier reached down into the pocket in between the driver’s seat and the door, pulling out a packet of cigarettes. “Want one?”

You shrugged, rolling your window down halfway. “Sure.” It might help take the edge off your frustration with the stakeout. It was shit intel and you knew it — so did Javier. But the DEA heads had been insistent that they knew better. 

But Javier’s informants, and your own, had made it clear that this was barking up the wrong tree. 

Javier passed you a cigarette and you clamped it in between your lips as you waited for him to light up his own. You watched him as he took a drag, sinking back into the driver’s seat like it was that easy to take the edge off things. 

You leaned against the center console, tilting your chin as Javier held the flame in front of you. The lighter clicked as he shut it off and you sat back and blew a puff of smoke out the open window. “When are you flying out?”

He drew in a deep breath, before exhaling — the smoke swirling in front of his face. “Gonna fly out Friday night. I’ll be back Tuesday.”

You nodded, “A Friday night without you at the bar. I don’t know how I feel about this.” You tapped the cigarette on the edge of the glass. “Is your dad okay?”

Javier shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Yeah. It’s not a health thing.” 

“Oh?”

“Figured that would be the best excuse,” He shrugged a shoulder, pursuing his lip to the side as he exhaled. “It’s been… thirty years since my mother passed and I figured my pops shouldn’t have to spend it alone. You know?”

Your brows furrowed together and you nodded, “Yeah. No, I get it.” You turned your head to blow smoke out the window again. “It’s been like fifteen years since my dad passed.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You waved a hand. “It’s good that you’ve got your pops.”

“Your mom still alive?”

“I guess.” You sighed heavily as you let your head tilt to look at him. “It’s complicated.”

“I’ve got time.”

You rubbed at your forehead, glancing back at Steve who was still snoring. “You’re not going to judge me, are you?” You questioned as you met Javier’s gaze.

You weren’t sure you could handle being scrutinized by Javi. 

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know,” You shrugged. “Whenever the topic comes up, people get… twitchy.” You rolled your eyes and looked at the roof of the car above you. 

“I’m not gonna make you talk about shit you don’t want to.” Javier assured you, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip before he tucked his cigarette between his lips. 

“Let’s just say, I got into narcotics because I had first-hand experience.”

“Shit.” Javier shook his head. “Your mother?”

You nodded, “My parents divorced when I was three. I don’t fault my dad for getting out of that environment, but with how backwards the courts are… I was stuck with her.” You took another drag from your cigarette before tapping the ash off on the window again. 

“I had no idea.”

“I don’t exactly lead with it.” You snorted, “I didn’t even tell Lance about this shit.”

“Really?”

You pursed your lips as you met Javier’s gaze, “I told him that both of my parents were dead and left it at that.” You chewed on your bottom lip, “He was a great guy, but I just had this feeling he was one of those ‘make it work’ types.” 

Javier groaned, “You can’t make something that’s broken work.”

“Yeah.” You picked at a bit of fuzz on your leg. “But people don’t always get that. I had an academic advisor that treated me like I was the monster when the topic came up. Like how could I walk away from the woman who gave birth to me.” You looked towards him again, “I’m sorry. God, I probably sound like a bitch. I’m sorry about your mother. You're a good son for going back.”

Javier reached over and gave your leg a squeeze. “Why are you apologising?”

You looked down at his hand, which was still resting on your leg. “I’m just used to people acting like I should be grateful.” 

“That’s bullshit.” He patted your leg once more before he returned his hand to his own lap. “When was the last time you saw her?”

“I was sixteen.” You rubbed your thumb over the crease between your brows, “I never looked back.” 

Javier nodded his head slowly, “Probably for the best.”

You glanced out the window, sighing heavily. “I have an older brother,” You shrugged. “He’s a couple years older than you, I think.”

“So ancient?”

“He had a pet dinosaur,” You snorted. “And he went to school riding a mammoth.”

Javier chuckled, flicking ash into the ashtray in the center console. “Just a bit older than me then. Dinosaurs were extinct when I was hatched.” 

“I figured.” You grinned at him. “But yeah, Mitch took me in. Finished high school in Philly and then went to Temple.”

“You’ve never mentioned a brother.” 

You drew in another drag, exhaling smoke out the window. “I don’t really know him. He had a wife and kids. I was just the goblin that lived in his basement.” You sank back in your seat, watching the tip of the cigarette burn as you held it out the window. “It was what my dad wanted. We both loved him.” 

“Sounds like he was a good man,” Javier remarked. “Might rival my old man.”

“Anyone who puts up with your shit deserves sainthood.” You shot back with a smirk.

“You’re not wrong.” He countered, putting out his cigarette. Javier dragged his hands over his face, sighing heavily as he did. “I haven’t been back since I came out here.”

“Yeah? You do plan to come back, right? I’m not gonna be stuck with Murphy, am I?”

Javier shook his head, “You think I could just up and leave you like that?”

You laughed, “That's why I’m asking you!”

“Who else is gonna stay up and listen to you ramble about telenovelas?”

“Hey Javi—“

“Hmm?”

You flipped him off. 

“Classy.”

You grinned, “Well you know my sordid origins now. I’m far from classy.”

He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, giving a short shake of his head, “You’re more than where you came from.”

“I try to be,” You leaned forward, tying your hair up into a knot at the back of your head. “Thank you for not… I don’t know, judging me for this shit.” You tilted your head and smiled at him. “I appreciate it.”

“You’re a damn good agent and the DEA’s lucky to have you.” Javier assured you, his gaze lingering on your face. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders.”

You rolled your eyes, taking one last drag from your cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray with his. “Thanks.” 

“Anytime.”

Javier was such a dick. That too-cocky grin and glint of mischief in his eyes. You’d miss having him around for a few days. 

“What was your mother like?”

Javier smoothed his fingers over his mustache as he made a sound, like he was thinking. “I was nine when she passed. My memories are a little faded.” His brows drew together as he looked at her. “She was brilliant. Pops always talks about how she could’ve been anything she put her mind to. I remember her wit, she could always make me laugh.”

You smiled fondly, “What was her name?”

“Sofía Ximena.” He picked at his thumbnail. “It was an aneurysm. Came out of nowhere. She was only twenty-seven.” Javier sniffed, looking towards the window then. “Pops had drove into town. She laid down to take a nap and, uh… didn’t wake up.”

“Javier—“

He shook his head, “Don’t. It was a long fucking time ago. I like remembering her as she was. Alive, animated. Giving my pops a hard time. Hell, I think she was better at roping horses than he was.”

“Yeah?” You laughed softly. “I think she would’ve been proud of you, Javier.”

“I don’t know about that.” He huffed, looking at you then. “It’ll be good to see my pops. It’s been awhile, like I said.”

“You make me want to give Mitch a call.”

“Are you?”

“Fuck no.” You laughed, waving a hand. “You want me to call him long distance? Get out of here.” 

“Do you two always have to be so fucking loud?” Steve groused from the back seat. You grabbed your bunched up jacket and chucked it at him. “Hey!”

“Shut up, Steve. We let you sleep.” 

“Did I sleep?” He tossed your jacket back at you. “All I remember is you two running your mouths.” 

Javier flipped him off, “Alright, sleeping beauty why don’t you get up here and work then?”

“It’s a bad lead and you know it,” You said over your shoulder. “I’ll nap if you’d prefer to run your mouth.” 

“So rude.” Steve chuckled. “I’m good right here.” 

“I thought so.” Javier rolled his eyes, giving you a pointed look. “Thank you.” 

“I’ll be here to talk when you get back.” You reached over and gave his forearm a squeeze. “I get it.” 

Steve wedged himself in between your seats, “You got a pack open?”

Javier grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the side of the seat and tossed it back to Steve. “Happy?”

“You got a hundred bucks too?”

You snorted. 

Only five more hours. 

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft Edition, Dementlieu Arc part 2

Alright, it's night. Jonni: “The best time for arson!” Jonni, you are up spending some quality time with Vesh. Jonni: “The best time for arson!” "YOU COME INTO MY CITY WITH A PARADE, PUTTING ON A FARCE FOR THE MASSES, YOU FOOL THEM BUT YOU DO NOT FOOL ME. NOW FACE MY JUDGEMENT." They point a bony finger at Vesh and....nothing happens. They point a few more times, expecting something to happen. Vesh sighs. "You done?" “Hey, buddy, I told you, she’s a Princess. Maybe not of a big nation, but a Princess is a Princess.” "...Well I guess she is. Sorry for disturbing you." And the spirit then awkwardly shuffles out. "That reminds me, I will visit Semprini, warn him of this Red Death." “Or, hear me out, we don’t and hire a bard to follow him around and then show us what happened later in moving pictures.” "Come on, you know how well I can fit in with high society, Steve. I can speak Snob." "Steve... He really moved up in the world after he died. I'm proud for him." "Social gatherings...I can be nice and polite, but high society tends to leave me cold. It all seems so...fake." “Yeah. But I usually get to fork some ashholes [sic] trophy wife in the cloak room, and the food can be good.” "Look it's easy, you go to some parties and dinners at some places, see the sights, smile and laugh, and we're golden. "And if anyone gives us any shit, we just grin and take it, and then track them down after the party and light them on fire." "We've come on behalf of a young lady whose parents have been afflicted with a curse..." “We need that lifted before we have to adopt again.” "None of the rest of you better pull an Edmund on us." Gorbash: "Okay Marshal's not allowed to speak for the group without approval. Jonni was already not allowed to speak for the group. God... am I the diplomatic one here? How the hell am I the diplomatic one?" Jonni: “Hey, I can be diplomatic. In a skeevy way, sure, but diplomatic.” Jonni: “Back of the line, new Eddie. Gorb’s in charge unless I have a better idea.” "Some specters showed up while you were out, but Kyra and Simone drove them off....Where's Marshal?" Jonni: “Getting ready for me to kill him when he gets back.” Seoni sighs, "Of course he did." Gorbash: "Yeah, he's joining Jonni in the 'not allowed to make decisions without group permission club'." Jonni: “Wait… Marsh is gone! No one will stop me from killing Semprini!” Gorbash: "I am still here." Jonni: “I’ll bring you his mustache.” Gorbash: "You may continue." Gorbash: "...Gods, I'm the leader... How is the guy who spent a year in a fracking asylum the one people look to for leadership?" OOC: Gorbash is going to be referring to this kind of epic stupidity as Pulling an Edmund for at least as long as it takes us to save Edmund. OOC: I haven’t seen a robot do something that dumb since Optimus’ Primes comic death. And his brain fits on a 3x4 floppy. Gorbash: "I've been to Blutspar. I don't need eyes to see horrors everywhere. Give me the tour." Nyx: "I would like to go some place without horrors for once. I'm guessing that is too high an order around here." Gorebash:

Yeah she had a holy symbol of Asmodeus on her armor. “Oh, hey, we got that douche canoe back home” Jonni says, very loudly. “Demon Prince of tiny dicks.” Jonni: “I don’t go to plays with ‘king’ in the title after the incident. “Course, most of the plays I go to have titles that are parody’s of other plays. They usually involve some kind of food delivery that can’t be paid for.” Gorbash grabs Irost by the collar. "Entire city. Mass suicide. Rivers of blood centuries later. GIANT MAN MADE OF BUGS!" Irost: "....That could possibly be classified as urban improvement..." Irost: "But then we'd miss the ball, and the excitement, and the chance to make names for ourselves." Jonni: “New Eddie is dumber than old Eddie.” Gorbash: "My old crew and I once infiltrated a gods damned apocalypse cult-a-polusa! I damn well know my apocalypses." “We’ll get you a red snapper, it’s okay. The things beyond the veil aren’t going to tear your soul out and wipe their ass with it tonight.” The stall has three barrels around the stall, and a large crate with a sign that says "Stikk hand in fer big serprize." [sic] Gorbash: "This feels like a trap. Hey Jonni, come here!" Jonni: “Want me to light it up?” Upon you saying that the crate grows a mouth and begins inching away. The crate and the three barrels, as well as the sign, all get up and move towards an open manhole. The lead mimic turns and spits at you, "Damn adventurers, this used to be a nice neighborhood." Jonni: “Hey I know where you can find a really dumb guy. I’ll tell you if you bring us his mustache.” "How dare you, we are not vagrants nor tramps. We are guards for a traveling merchant caravan. And adventurers who solve problems and help others." "Right! They're Hobos!" Jonni: “Cool. Cool. So you’re a colossal asshat, your god sucks, and virtually no one I care about will mind if you die. In fact, the nicest member of my party thought about doing it herself.” Jonni: “Hey! One last thing? Go fuck yourself with a cactus you racist piece of devil-worshiping pig fart.” Linxia takes a deep breath. "We will settle this another time I think. But keep in mind;" she reaches out, grabs a caterpillar from a tree, and crushes it in hand. "Vermin always get crushed in the end." Gorbash: "B!+ch, we're Pest Control experts." He is wearing a "I survived the Organ grinder" TY shirt over his armor, and is also covered with popcorn, soda and other stickyness. In one hand he holds a handful of balloons, and in the other a large stuffed purple teddy bear. On his head is a hat with cat ears. Jonni: “We met new people to kill and you’re not allowed to tell me no anymore.” Gorbash returns the favor that Marshal did for him back in Hazlan and tightly hugs his metal friend. Irost would hug him from the other side as well, squeezing tightly. You are stuck fast to Marshal now, he is very sticky. "Uhm, do we need to get out the special scrubbing alcohol to clean you guys off now?" Marshal: "Fire." Jonni casts the “create campfire” cantrip. Irost: "WAIT! Wait we're still-AHHHHHH!" Marshal ties a blindfold around his helmet's eyeholes and sticks a cigarette in just in time. Jonni: “Sorry, reflex.” Marshal: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe." Jonni: “I’ve fucked things you wouldn’t believe. Anyhow, walk it off. We got crime tonight.” “It’s that or wait for the play that pinged Gorb’s 'end of world' alarm to finish.” "What you did Marshall... Sainthood should be being considered." “If they gave out sainthood for being a moron Semprini would be a living god.” You guys become aware, that there things watching you. Or rather watching Marshal. You see countless tiny stuffed animals of varying types: bears, foxes, rabbits, but with horrific twisted features. Some have obviously human eyes or teeth, others are bulging with strange contents. Gorbash: "How is it, that Marshal is the one with the most Stalkers?" Marshal: "Co-workers on break." Jonni: “They forming a union?” According to Vesh, the boat will be arriving at Midnight with cargo, among which will be the box. It will unload the cargo in the shipping company's warehouse. where it will stay until it is shipped to the D'honaire estate on the night before the ball. The docks are silent. No one on them. The niight is clear, with stars in the sky and a huge moon. So what's your plan? OOC: Fireballs. You see the bizarre scene of a bunch of demonic beanie babies smoking. After about fifteen minutes, the bay is rocked by a massive explosion, as the galleon bursts into flames. "Jonni!" Jonni: “Gods I wish that was me.” OOC: Great things happen when Kreuz has a Paladin Moment. OOC1: This other crew is going to find we aren't harder to deal with than most adventurers, we fight smarter, not harder. OOC2: Also, we are more mentally unstable and prone to dickery. OOC: To be fair, the rules don’t say I have rocket feet. The power gamer in me says no, but the nerd in me says “ROCKET BOOTS!”

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #ravenloft

[starlightswitch]

In All Your Messiness

@flashfictionfridayofficial​ Somewhat inspired by an article I ripped out of a Family Fun magazine years ago, about kids and their messy rooms.

Janet answered the “Can I call you?” text from her daughter by calling her.

Lillian answered in the middle of the first ring and said, “I think I’m a horrible mom.”

Janet glanced at her wrist as if her watch– which she wasn’t even wearing– would confirm that Molly was out of town for another night. She waited.

“Mom?”

“Yes. What happened?”

“I threw Sophia Serenade’s birthday presents in the trash.”

Janet kept her mouth shut.

“Did you hear me?”

“Go on,” said Janet.

Lillian let out a gusty sigh. “It wasn’t even Sophia that started it.”

Janet broke her silence in favor of trying to break the tension. “It would be hard for Sophia to be the one who started it.”

That won her a slightly pained laugh. “For someone imaginary to start something? I guess it would be pretty hard. No, but–” She sighed again. “I told Rissi to clean her room. Things have been going missing for weeks. The other day she missed the school bus and I had to drive her to school because we couldn’t find her shoe. Her shoe! One shoe! The other one was in the corner by the door.”

“Where was the shoe?” Probably Janet shouldn’t have asked.

Lillian made a sputtering noise. It took her two tries before she was able to speak. “In one of the bins. I put those there to make it easy to put her toys away and she leaves the toys on the floor and instead she puts her shoes in them. Shoe. One shoe.”

Janet had returned to silence.

Her voice somber again, Lillian continued. “So today I get a call from the school saying I didn’t submit Rissi’s permission form for the Christmas movie trip. I didn’t know there was a permission form. I didn’t know there was a Christmas movie trip. They said it needed to be turned in today. I would have known if it was in Rissi’s backpack because I go through her backpack every day– obvious reasons– so I went to look for it in her room.” There was a pause. “She’s been making birthday presents for Sophia Serenade. There are markers everywhere. There are conglomerations of cardboard boxes. There is a spice jar full of beads and… sticks, I think? And that’s in with the usual stuff. You cannot take two steps into the room. I started looking around to see if I could find the form, and in the process I found my whisk. Which I’ve been looking for for a week now. And it was all tangled around with yarn and ribbons. And I…” Lillian took a shaky breath. “I snapped. I don’t know how else to describe it. I grabbed a bin from the rack and I just started flinging things into it. I was going to take it out and throw it in the garbage can.”

Janet waited.

“Somehow I came to my senses. I put it all back. I hope she won’t notice. I didn’t find the form. It wasn’t even about the form. Throwing her art projects in the garbage wasn’t going to find the form. Am I just a horrible mom who doesn’t care about my daughter’s creativity and imaginary friend and?…”

After a moment Janet said, “Did I ever tell you about the time I left your father?”

“You did what?”

“We had a fight– I don’t remember what it was about. I think it was something reasonably serious but we were taking it too seriously. It progressed to yelling and name-calling and finally he said ‘I can’t do this right now’ and went into the bedroom and slammed the door. And I got it into my head that if he didn’t have to deal with it right now I didn’t have to deal with it at all, and I grabbed my purse and my parents’ wedding picture and three of my favorite books and got in the car and drove away.”

“You guys only had one car.”

Janet nodded, even though Lillian couldn’t see it.

Lillian snorted. “Mom!”

“I drove half an hour on the interstate and then I realized I didn’t know what I was doing and I didn’t really want to do it. So I stopped for a bathroom and a milkshake and drove back. Which probably took me more than half an hour because I was driving a reasonable speed.”

Laughing, Lillian asked, “What did Dad say?”

“He didn’t say anything except he was sorry. I’m not sure he knew what I was doing either. He might have thought I just went for a drive to cool off.”

“I never would have guessed. I always thought you guys had a perfect relationship.”

“We had a good relationship. Better than good. Perfect’s only achievable on math tests.”

Lillian was back to sighing. “Still. I think of that song– ‘Most mamas ought to qualify for sainthood’? I guess I’m not most mamas.”

“There’s a reason they had a devil’s advocate.”

“What?”

“A devil’s advocate. The person whose job it was to bring up the things a possible saint did that weren’t very saintly.” Janet paused to allow her point to sink in. “Clearly some people made it through and became saints anyway.” After another moment she asked, “Did you ever find the form?”

“No. I’m going to go up to the school and get another copy and sign it. I just had to…”

“Go sign that form.”

“Yes, Mom.” Janet could hear the smile in her daughter’s voice. “Thanks, Mom.”

#my writing

[quickspinner]

I’ll Give You the Stars - Ch 3 Share Your Dreams with Me

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Luka was about ready to nominate Penny Rolling for sainthood. It had become crystal clear over the past couple of days that while Jagged could put his name in the spotlight for a brief flurry of publicity, it was Penny who could actually get his foot in the door of the industry. It was Penny who had sent Luka a list of classes and private tutors he should consider, not only on musical subjects like composition and performance, but on business and publicity as well. It was Penny who gave him tips for handling the media attention his unexpected performance had temporarily garnered, and asked for his approval on the press statement she had prepared for Jagged. 

It was Penny who kept him from being completely overwhelmed and paralyzed with her prioritized action item list, and included with that list were applications for music scholarships Jagged sponsored—both for his age group and Juleka’s. Because chasing your dreams costs money, after all.

She’d also suggested he consider selling some of his compositions, and implied that Jagged Stone would love to have the first chance at whatever he came up with.  

Luka had to take a long walk to calm down after she’d suggested his music might actually sell. That Jagged Stone might be willing to perform something he wrote. Rose was going to flip.   

Finally, while Penny explained that she herself couldn’t represent him as repping Jagged alone was a full-time job, she had also sent him a list of agents she knew and trusted and promised to get him a meeting when he was ready.

So when Penny sent him a release form for his unscheduled appearance and begged him to have his mother sign it before her legal team paraded her corpse down the Champs Elysee for letting Jagged pull a minor onstage without parental consent, he gladly went to bat with Anarka, who despised paperwork in general and legal documents in particular, and pestered her until it got done. His mom would probably be extra contrary for at least a week, but that was fine, he could handle it. At this point Luka was so grateful that he was pretty sure he’d donate a kidney for Penny if she needed it.

Now, she told him, it was just up to him to keep the ball rolling until he was musically and emotionally ready to try for the big time—to keep his name out there and build his fanbase. 

Fanbase.  Like he was ever going to be emotionally ready for that.  

Luka coped with his sudden crushing case of imposter syndrome by focusing on the band. He saw no reason why keeping the ball of his popularity rolling, as Penny put it, couldn’t include bringing the rest of Kitty Section along for the ride. After all, none of this would be happening if Marinette hadn’t done the same for him. He’d asked Penny to include Kitty Section’s Instagram in her press release, though he’d cringed at her insistence on the wording “Kitty Section featuring Luka Couffaine,” as if he was any more important than any other band member, and their number of followers had tripled overnight. Rose had posted pictures and a short clip of him on stage with Jagged, and she’d been calling every club and venue she could find to pitch Kitty Section.

It was a beautiful madness that was at the same time overwhelming and so far removed from his daily life that it didn’t quite seem real, and finally he decided to give himself a break from trying to figure it all out, and he took his guitar out on the deck.

Luka was staring dreamily into the sunset, singing softly along with his guitar, when suddenly his view was blocked by a curtain of black and purple hair with lace sleeves. 

“Okay,” grumbled a familiar voice from within the curtain. “What the hell happened when you walked Marinette home?”

Luka sighed as Juleka came to plop herself down in the other chair.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“You haven’t sung in ages.”

He eyed her suspiciously. She was speaking in full sentences so something was up. “You didn’t want me too.”

“Not while you sounded like a cat in heat, but that’s been over for a while. Why now?”

Luka shrugged. “Why not?”

“Luka.”

He said nothing.

“Do you realize that ever since the concert you sound like you’re putting together the soundtrack for a heavy metal romcom?”

“I do not,” he grumbled. Yeah, smooth. God, nobody could get under your skin like a sibling. Especially his. 

Juleka was silent for a minute. “She has a crush on Adrien Agreste.”

Luka’s jaw tightened and he turned his pick in his fingers, pressing into the hard edges. 

“Like a super-mega-nearly-stalker crush, Luka.”

He said nothing.

“You know that stuttering, word-scrambling thing she does that you think is so cute? She’s a million times worse with him. It’s a small miracle that he hasn’t decided she’s a complete psycho.”

Luka sighed. “You’re telling me this why? And why now?”

Her face screwed up the way it used to when she was five and he wouldn’t let her play with him. “Because you’re my stupid brother and you’re getting in over your head, and I hate you and I’m scared you’re going to keep me awake with your sobbing when she breaks your heart.”

Luka had to smile at that. “I love you too, Juleka,” he said, with more sincerity than he’d intended. “And I already knew she had a thing for Adrien.”

“Has  a thing, Luka. A big thing. Eiffel Tower big. The Great Wall of China, visible from space big.”  

Luka plucked at a string, pretending to tune it. “Does he have a thing for her?”

“Luka.”  

Luka groaned and rolled his eyes. “Look, I know the score. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’m just...we had a nice moment, okay? We don’t have to be destined soulmates for me to enjoy her company. Now get lost so I can watch the sunset without your mopey goth doom and gloom.”

Juleka sighed gustily. “I’m going to have to smother you with my pillow, aren’t I?”

“Tell me about Lila,” Luka said abruptly, and Juleka tilted her head. 

“Why do you want to know about Lila?”

“I don’t know, I just kind of got a weird vibe that night while you guys were talking about her.”

“Marinette doesn’t like her.”

“Why?” 

Juleka rolled her eyes. “Because Lila is pretty and confident and wealthy and well-connected, and Marinette’s insecure and jealous. She thinks Lila wants Adrien and it makes her act crazy.”

Juleka’s words were so discordant with Luka’s reality that he almost felt nauseous. “That doesn’t sound like Marinette at all,” he said cautiously.

“I told you, Marinette loses her mind when Adrien’s involved.”

“Yeah...so much so that she agreed to help him ask out another girl.”

“She probably did that so she could spy on his date. She’s as threatened by that Kagami girl as she is by Lila, only nobody actually likes Kagami, so she’s a tiny bit less crazy about it.”

“I was there, Juleka,” Luka reminded her sharply. “Nothing like that happened.”

Juleka leaned her chin in her hand and looked at him. “You’re biased, Luka.”

“Biased, not blind, and Marinette’s not exactly hard to read.” Luka put his guitar aside and turned in the chair to face her. “Juleka, you know me. I’m not wrong about this. I was there. She told me when she asked me to go that we were going to support Adrien, and that’s what she did. I watched her smile at him and encourage him when he was nervous. I gave him advice myself right in front of her. And yeah, she looked at him like a sad puppy whenever he couldn’t see, but she didn’t even give him a hint at how upset she was.” He sat back, studying his sister. “I thought Marinette was your friend.”

Juleka started. “She is.”

“Are you even listening to the things you’re saying about her? Does anything you’ve said actually make sense with what you know about Marinette? Look, I believe you when you say she’s crazy about Adrien, that makes sense, and I can believe she’d come up with some crazy convoluted things to get his attention, but do you really think she’s that jealous and petty? And if she were, that I’d be so crazy in love that I couldn’t tell?”

Juleka chewed her lip. 

“Marinette’s done a lot for us...and for you, Jules.”

Juleka lowered her eyes. Luka just shook his head and reclined back on his chair, picking up his guitar. “Look, I think I’m done talking about this, forget I asked. Tomorrow’s the first day back at school since the concert and to be honest I’m kind of freaked out about how things will go, so…” He made a little shooing motion with his hand. “Can I just get some space please?”

Juleka didn’t move or speak for a moment. Then she said, “Are you going to be up here singing more sappy barely-rock love songs?”

“Vocal practice was on Penny’s list. I’m more marketable if I can perform my own vocals.” 

“Right,” Juleka drawled. “Penny’s list.”

Something about her tone made him put down the guitar again to look her in the eye. “Juleka, anywhere I go, you go too, for as long as you’re up for the ride. I promise.” 

She held his gaze for a moment, and then stood up, and started to walk off. “Whatever. Enjoy your quest for the perfect rock ballad to serenade Marinette. Just don’t call me to bail you out of jail when Officer Roger arrests you for public disturbance.”

“It’s not for Marinette.”

“Sure.” She waved over her shoulder. “Try not to be a total cliché or I’ll disown you.”

Luka just smiled and shook his head as he picked up his guitar.

***

The first day back in class after the crazy fever dream of the concert night was as surreal as he expected it to be. Some of his schoolmates were at the concert, enough to whisper and point and spread the news around the school. The weight of his guitar on his back was steadying, but it marked him. There were a lot of awkward conversations with people he barely knew. 

The attention he got from girls who were suddenly giggly and handsy was what really threw him, until his best friend took pity and passed Luka his phone, open to a news site that had a photo of Luka playing at the concert. Luka stared at the photo and covered his mouth to keep from...something. He wasn’t sure if he would laugh or swear. 

It was clearly a professional photo, not like the slightly hazy ones that Rose had taken from the pit. They’d caught him mid-riff, his arms flexed as he played, his hair flying about his face, his eyes focused and a smirk on his lips. He understood now why girls kept grabbing onto his arm or cuddling up and slipping their hands under his jacket. The picture made him look hot, and there was a lot of muscle on display in that custom-fitted MDC Original shirt that was totally hidden in his usual layered look.

Luka passed the phone back and put his head down on his desk while Evan tried to smother his laughter.

He wondered if Marinette had seen the picture. Maybe he should see if Penny could send her a copy. For her portfolio. 

***

A week after the concert Rose texted that she had big news and asked if he could meet the rest of the band at the collège after class.  

Rose and Juleka were the first band members out, walking with a red-headed girl Luka didn’t recognize. He’d expected Rose to be bouncing, bubbly, excited after the tone of her messages, but instead Rose looked a little uncomfortable, and Juleka...Luka’s eyebrows rose. Juleka had her murder face on. 

“That’s so great, I knew Gustav would come through,” the redhead giggled to Rose. “He and I are such good friends ever since I grabbed that fire extinguisher and saved his club from burning down. I knew I could convince him to book Kitty Section!”

“Um, that’s really sweet of you, Lila,” Rose was saying. “When I called, you know, he said that he saw Jagged Stone’s press release and—“

“Oh, yes, I sent that to him as soon as I got it!”

“You...got it?”

“Of course, I get all of his press releases. You know we’re like this.” She held up her crossed fingers. “And honestly, I felt bad for you guys! I’m sure Marinette meant well but singling out one person to meet Jagged, it just seemed so unfair! You all deserved that chance, but maybe she just didn’t know him as well as she said—I mean, as well as she thought she did! I wish I’d been there like I planned, I could’ve done something. It’s too bad that I had to cancel to go help Prince Ali with that emergency at the children’s hospital.” She dropped her voice so that she was only barely audible to Luka. “Honestly I’m surprised Marinette would use her connections like that just to impress a boy, I would never dare, but I guess we all know how far Marinette will go when she has a crush!”  

Juleka’s eyes lifted from the ground and met Luka’s. 

He realized he had his murder face on too. 

The two siblings smirked at each other and then both looked at their feet. Luka breathed, reminded himself of little black butterflies, and when he looked back up his face felt more normal.

“W-well, I understand why you might think that, but you haven’t heard Luka play, he really was the best choice and—“ Rose began, then Juleka caught Rose’s chin and turned her face toward Luka. Rose brightened. “Oh, there he is!”

“Oh!” Lila slipped ahead of them to plant herself in front of Luka, hands wrapped around the strap of her bag as she looked up at him from under her bangs. “You must be Luka, I’ve heard so much about you,” Lila gushed, batting her eyes at him. “Juleka talks about you all the time.” Juleka gave her a sidelong look, which made Luka want to laugh. Juleka hardly talked about anything, and never talked about Luka if she could help it. “Rose and Juleka and I were just talking about this gig I booked for Kitty Section at L’Accord d’Or!”

Luka smiled over Lila’s head at Rose. “That’s great Rose, I know you’ve been trying to get us in there for months.”

“Yeah,” Juleka said flatly. “Who knew that all that time all Lila had to do was make a phone call.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rose fluttered, not seeming to know where to look. “What’s important is that we got the gig now!” Her face brightened with genuine excitement. “And it’s not at the open mic, we’re the headline act. And it pays!” She bounced on her toes, hands clasped together. 

“That’s great news, Rose. I know you’ve worked really hard to make it happen.” Luka said, giving the girl’s shoulder a little squeeze. No wonder Juleka was pissed, if Lila was trying to take the credit. 

When he looked back at Lila, Luka could practically see the calculations appearing over her head as she looked him up and down. He gave her a bland look back that was part disinterest and part warning. He knew that look, he’d seen it over and over in eyes the same blue as his own. It wasn’t even any special kind of insight that told him this girl was selfish and self-centered, just cold, hard experience. 

Maybe he’d done too well at shielding Juleka if she couldn’t see it too. Luka turned his attention back to Rose.

“I thought we should get together and talk about it right away,” Rose was saying, “since we only have a couple of weeks to get ready. He wanted to do the gig soon while people are still talking about Luka. And I thought maybe Marinette could help us make up some T-shirts and things we could sell.”

“You’re so forgiving, Rose,” Lila said with admiration. “Even after Marinette ditched you guys to be with Luka.”

“Marinette’s done a lot for all of us,” Luka said mildly. “But Rose, If we’re getting paid, we need to make sure Marinette is too. She’s already done all of our costumes and the backdrop.”

“Wow,” Lila cooed, curling her hand on Luka’s arm with that slip-squeeze move girls had been pulling on him all week. “She did all of that? She must be so into you.” 

Luka didn’t even hear her, gaze suddenly focused on the door. “Here she comes now.” He tried to keep his expression neutral, but he knew he hadn’t entirely succeeded. It was kind of impossible, given the rush that flooded his system. He hadn’t seen her since he had kissed her in the hall at the bakery. He pulled his arm away from Lila absently, plucking her hand off when she didn’t let go, and reached for the guitar pick in his pocket, pressing the edges into his fingers. He’d promised her when they kissed that it wouldn’t change anything and he was going to keep that promise if it killed him. Marinette caught sight of them, blushed, waved, and tripped on the steps. 

Luka moved without thinking, even knowing he was too far away to help. Suddenly there was a flash of white and blond in front of them and Adrien was lowering a red-faced and stammering Marinette carefully to the pavement.

“Adrien,” Lila squealed, bouncing over to them. “Oh, it’s so good that you were there, that was a really bad fall, Marinette. I know you must be excited to see Luka but you should be more careful.”

Marinette’s face turned even redder as she got to her feet. Lila pushed in between them, and linked her arms through both Marinette’s and Adrien’s, pulling them with her back over to Rose, Juleka, and Luka. “I was just telling Luka about the gig I booked for Kitty Section!”

Juleka growled at Luka’s side and he put his hand on her shoulder. He got an elbow in the ribs for his trouble, but then she folded her arms and huffed out a sigh. 

“Hey Luka, good to see you!” Adrien waved, trying to discreetly pull his other arm free of Lila’s. Marinette was less delicate, shoving the girl’s hand away with a disgusted expression. Undeterred, Lila simply wrapped both hands around Adrien’s arm as he continued. “I saw the clip of you on stage with Jagged, it was awesome! You looked like you were born for it.”

Luka ran his fingers through his hair. “Thanks, I’m just glad he picked that song since I’ve played it so many times at home. I thought I was going to pass out just meeting him, but he was really cool, and it was really funny watching him tease Marinette.” She blushed slightly when he smiled at her, and his heart did a little flip. 

“Really?” Adrien chuckled. “I know he’s a fan of her work. She signed my copy of his last album cover.” He grinned and nudged Marinette with his elbow.

“Yeah, it’s adorable actually, he treats her like she’s his favorite niece or something.” Luka kept his attention on Adrien but watched Lila out of the corner of his eye. “And he brags about her like a proud grandpa.”

“Wow,” Lila said, opening her eyes wide. “Marinette must really have wanted to impress you to use her connections like that. That’s so brave, Marinette! I mean, I would never have dared to bother Jagged Stone just to impress a boy. Oh, isn’t it sooo cute that Marinette likes Luka so much, Adrien! They make such a cute couple!”  

Marinette flushed from her hairline to her collar. “We’re not a couple! It wasn’t like that! I only know Jagged because I was in the right place at the right time and he happened to like my work. It was crazy lucky and Luka’s so talented, I just thought he should have the same chance that I had. And he did great and now he’s opening doors for Kitty Section. I think it’s awesome that we can all help each other succeed in our dreams. After all, what good are all these ‘amazing connections’ if you can’t use them to help your friends?”

Something ugly flashed across Lila’s face but Adrien spoke up before she could bite back. “You’re right, Marinette,” Adrien agreed brightly. “It might have been luck that you met Jagged but you’ve definitely made the most of it, and paying it forward to help Luka and Kitty Section is really cool.”

“Y-you think so?” Marinette nearly whispered, still red in the face. 

“Yeah, it makes me think I should be more active thinking of ways I could do the same,” Adrien rubbed his neck. “I never really thought about it before, but there’s got to be more I could be doing.”

“Oh, Adrien, it’s so like you to think that way,” Lila purred. “Maybe we could have coffee sometime and we could talk about it? You know I’m involved in so many charity projects, I have tons of experience at that kind of thing.”

Marinette looked like she might explode. Adrien laughed uneasily and finally managed to get his arm away from Lila. He started backing away from the group, glancing back towards the silver car waiting for him. “Some other time, maybe, I have uh, somewhere to be right now. Bye guys, and congrats again on the gig!”

“Bye Adrien,” Lila waved cheerfully, and then turned to Marinette. Luka felt a physical pain at the way Marinette tensed up. “Oh, Marinette, it’s so good to see you’ve finally moved on from your hopeless crush on Adrien. I hope that means we can be friends now since there’s no more need for you to be jealous.”

Marinette folded her arms and gave Lila a look that Luka had last seen aimed at Bob Roth. “I think we both know that’s not going to happen and why.”

“Oh, Marinette, it’s really not fair for you to lead Luka on if you’re still hung up over Adrien,” Lila returned, sugary sweet, and Marinette went from red to white, and Luka felt his own face heat. “Or,” Lila lowered her voice to a perfectly audible stage whisper. “Don’t tell me that you went to all that trouble for him and he still turned you down. You poor thing, that’s so…” she paused, as if looking for the word, and then smirked. “Pathetic.” 

Lila whipped around as Luka began to laugh. “You can’t be serious,” he managed to get out between chortles. Beside him, Juleka was smirking. “You’re not taking anyone in with that one.” 

“Yeah,” Juleka drawled. “He’s been stupid over Marinette since they met.” Rose giggled, though she still looked uncomfortable.

“All right guys, are we having this meeting or what?” Luka stepped around Lila and put his arm around Marinette’s shoulders to guide her away. “Anybody know if Ivan is coming?”

“Oh, he asked me to tell you he had to stay and talk to Miss Bustier for a little bit,” Marinette said. “He’ll be along in a few minutes. Um, if you want, we could have the meeting at my place? It’s not big but at least we wouldn’t be standing in the sun. Plus you know Maman and Papa will feed us.”

Rose and Juleka both perked up. “Sounds like a plan,” Luka grinned. “Lead the way.” 

“Don’t worry, Marinette,” he heard Lila purr behind them. “I’ll take good care of Adrien now that you’ve moved on. You couldn’t have gotten in at Gabriel even with Adrien’s help, anyway.”  

“Ugh, she makes me nauseous,” Luka said softly to Marinette as they approached the crosswalk. “I see what you meant, now.”

“Oh my God, Luka, I’m so sorry, that must have been so embarrassing for you,” Marinette whimpered. 

“Not really. It was the truth, I’m crazy about you and I’m not ashamed of it.” Luka tightened his arm around her, and then reluctantly let her go, pretending not to see her radiant blush. “She wouldn’t be so threatened by you if you weren’t so amazing. People like that, you almost have to feel sorry for. How lame must her life be to make her so bitter?”

Marinette was silent for a moment, her blush fading as her expression fell. “So you think I should just let it go?”

“What? No!” Luka said, surprised. “Feeling sorry for her doesn’t mean putting up with her crap. Whatever’s going on in her life, she has a choice about how she treats other people. And I can tell you from experience, people like her will take everything they can get and then burn down the rest just out of spite.”

“Adrien knows how she is,” Marinette said quietly. “But he didn’t want me to say anything. He said making a bad guy suffer has never turned them into a good guy.”

Luka snorted softly. “All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing.”

Marinette’s head whipped around to look up at him. He met her eyes got a moment and then focused on the sidewalk ahead of him.

“Look, it’s to Adrien’s credit that he is the way he is. In a way he’s proof of what I was saying. He has a crappy home life and he still chooses to be optimistic and compassionate, and maybe that means he has a weak spot for people like Lila and Chloé. Maybe if he admitted to himself that some people are beyond redemption, then he has to admit that there’s no hope for his own father. That his dad will always be cold and calculating and manipulative and Adrien will never be good enough for him.” Luka paused and took a deep breath. “It’s a hard thing to admit to yourself. It’s even harder to admit that the reason those people won’t change, is because they don’t care enough to try.” He glanced back at Rose and Juleka, glad to see they were trailing far enough behind that they wouldn’t overhear. “I get it, you know? He still has hope. I just…” He lowered his voice without really meaning to and she swayed a little closer to hear. “I remember how it felt when there wasn’t any hope left, just all of us exhausted and used up and tossed away, and all I can think about is how much time we wasted believing the lie that if we just tried hard enough we could make him want to stay. So no, I can’t agree with Adrien. Giving in to selfishness never turned it into generosity either.” 

Marinette stopped walking and put her arms around Luka’s middle, squeezing tight. He patted her arm, and then pulled away, a little uncomfortable with having said so much. “Anyway, you do what you think is right, Marinette. Protect yourself and trust your instincts. You might not always get it right the first time, but I know you will in the end.”

“Thanks, Luka. I think I needed to hear that.”

They waited in silence at the crosswalk for a moment for the others to catch up. Luka chuckled suddenly. “You know, she made a mistake today.”

“What?” Marinette blinked at him. 

“Lila screwed up. She pissed off Juleka.” Luka grinned. “Rose has been spinning her wheels for months trying to get us into that club, and Lila just up and claims it was all because of her that Rose finally got through. I’m not sure whether Juleka believes Lila and is mad that she didn’t do anything sooner, or if she knows Lila didn’t do anything and is mad at her for lying, but either way, she’s mad that Rose is unhappy. So that’s one less person on Lila’s side anyway. That’s how I know you’ll come out on top no matter what you decide to do.” He didn’t even try to hide the affection in his face when he looked at her. “You can call it karma or whatever, but I’m sure you’ll always have people on your side. Maybe there will always be a Lila out there, taking the credit and name-dropping and looking out for number one. But you...you’re always lifting up the people around you. You don’t let pursuing your own dreams stop you from caring about everyone else’s.” 

As he said the words, the world seemed to stop for a heartbeat, and suddenly he knew what he wanted to sing for her.  Her pink cheeks grew a little pinker as he smiled a slow, secret smile, but before she could ask any questions, Rose and Juleka joined them and they all crossed the street. “You’ll come to the gig, right?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual. “We wouldn’t even be playing a place this big if it weren’t for you.”

Marinette sighed. “I wish you’d stop saying that. You’re the one who impressed Jagged. You’re the one who played in front of all those people.”

“You’re the one who gave me that chance. But I’m sorry, I’ll try not to bring it up anymore if it makes you uncomfortable. Anyway, will you come? I’d really like you to be there.” 

Marinette waved her phone. “Already on my calendar. Actually I was thinking I might try to get there when you guys do so I can help you get ready, if that’s okay? I want to make sure your costumes are perfect for this!”

Luka smiled. “Better make sure your website is ready for all the traffic you’re going to get. Rose said people are already asking about T-shirt’s and things.”

“I’m not surprised, you did make it look good.” Marinette slapped her hand over her mouth and Luka looked away and coughed to hide his laughter. 

***

Kitty Section worked harder than they ever had for the next couple of weeks. It was a scramble to finish the new song Luka and Rose had been working on, and then they had to figure out what else they were going to play and practice that. (Penny said covers would be a good way to pad their setlist, Luka had informed the group.) Fortunately all of the band members were extremely motivated, so once they got over the hurdle of agreeing on which songs to play (which turned out to be a very high hurdle indeed), they worked relentlessly to get them down, meeting every chance they got to practice.

Marinette had to miss a lot of those rehearsals, but that was fine--that was actually good as far as Luka was concerned, since he had to get the band on board with his plan and then teach them the music he had reworked to suit Kitty Section's metal sound. 

He tried to frame it as platonically as he could, but he still spent almost as much time ignoring teasing comments (and Rose’s overly romanticized fantasy world where he and Marinette had a wedding officiated by Jagged Stone before honeymooning during Luka’s first international tour) as he did practicing. As he lived with Juleka, he was accustomed to blocking out things he didn’t want to listen to, so he let most of it roll off his back. 

Luka was surprised when Ivan stopped after practice one day to lean against the rail next to him.

“Hey,” Ivan said, rubbing his hand over his hair. “You um...okay? We were kinda giving you a really hard time today.”

“Yeah, you were.” Luka shrugged. “But it’s okay. I know I’m an idiot.”

“You’re really in love with Marinette?”

Luka sighed. “Head over heels, man.”

“Wow,” Ivan mumbled, and then was silent for a moment. “So you think the song’ll work?”

“Nope.” 

Ivan blinked. “Really? But…”

“Rose’s romantic fever dreams aside, I’m not doing this to try to win Marinette over. I know she loves somebody else and—well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish for something different, but that’s her choice to make, you know? I just…” He paused, automatically beginning to play his feelings as he tried to find words. 

“I owe Marinette a lot,” Ivan said after a moment. “She was the one who really encouraged me to confess to Mylène. I might never have gotten up the guts of it weren’t for her.”

Luka grinned, looking up at him. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, I was the first akuma victim, you know. Yay me.”

Luka huffed. “I feel you on that one.”

“I was so in love with Mylène but every time I tried to get close to her, I scared her. I was feeling super down about it. Marinette gave me a pep talk. I mean, things still kinda got worse before they got better, but it turned out all right.”

Luka shook his head, smiling to himself. “She’s something else. You know I was impressed with her before we even met. You wouldn’t believe how much money I’ve spent on ice cream and nail polish every class photo day for years. I was all set for Juleka to come home crying yet again, and instead she comes home with a smile on her face. Even having been akumatized that same day, she was so happy. I asked her what happened and she just smiled and said, ‘Marinette.’” 

“She’s always helping out, huh?” Ivan rubbed his hand over his head again. 

Luka slid his hand over the fretboard thoughtfully. “I just...want her to know how special she is, you know? Like I said, it’s not about winning her over, just...letting her know.”

“Yeah, I think I get it.” Ivan punched him lightly in arm and Luka tried not to wince. “Still...good luck, man. You and Marinette, you both deserve good things.”

“Thanks, Ivan.”

Even though Marinette couldn’t always be at practice, she was still working for them. She presented them with three new t-shirt designs, all of them simpler than the ones she’d originally made for the band so they could be easily sourced out to a printing company. She’d teamed up with Marc and Nath (names Luka only vaguely recognized) and they’d created posters and fliers featuring comic-book style drawings of the band playing on the back of a winged cat unicorn. Luka had to admit, once he stopped laughing, that they were pretty awesome. The band plastered them all over their schools, in as many local coffee shops and music stores as they could get to, and Luka had to smile when he passed one proudly displayed in the bakery window. 

And somehow, the image, including the gig date and time, got passed to Jagged Stone, who tweeted it out to his billions of followers. “I thought we were going to have to give Nath oxygen when we told him,” Marinette giggled. 

By the time the gig night rolled around, it was no shock to anyone that the club was packed.

***

“Are you nervous?” Marinette asked as she helped Luka lift the breastplate into place and began to fasten the ties. 

“If you’d asked me that yesterday, I would’ve said yes, totally, but tonight? Honestly, I’m stoked,” Luka told her, tilting his mask in his hands to admire the play of the glitter under the club lights. “This place is amazing, the set list is sick, the crowd energy is amazing, and your costumes look unreal under these lights. We’ve worked really hard and I feel like we’re ready for this. I can’t wait to get out there.”

Marinette shook her head. “You guys are amazing, if it were me I’d pass out. Is this okay, can you move?”

Luka moved his arms experimentally. “Good as gold. You’re amazing in plenty of other ways, Marinette.” 

He wasn’t even sure she heard him. She bounced and squealed. “You look so great, you’re right, this is gonna be awesome! You’re gonna knock ‘em dead!”

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He blinked at her but Marinette just flashed him a shy smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and turned away to help Rose. 

He took a few minutes to himself to just close his eyes and breathe, and when he opened his eyes again the rest of the band was ready, and Marinette was passing him on her way to the door. “Hey,” he caught her shoulder. “Can you try to get a spot up front? I want to be able to see you.”

Marinette smiled. “I’ll be there. Adrien’s already out there and he has his bodyguard holding space for me and Nino and Alya.”

“Great,” he said, letting his hand fall to catch hers and squeeze it. “Hey guys, all in real quick before Marinette leaves?”

The band crowded together to slap a high five. “Kitty Section!” They yelled together. Marinette and Mylène went to find their places. 

Luka slipped his mask over his face. “All right guys, let’s do this.”

The crowd roared as the band walked on stage. Luka took a deep breath as he slipped his guitar over his head.  Remember the plan.  He played a short riff to get the crowd’s attention as the others took their places. He stepped up next to Rose at the center mic as she welcomed the crowd, and then handed off the microphone to him. There was a cheer as he took off his mask and waved to the crowd.   

“Thanks for coming out to hear us tonight,” he began. “Let me introduce the members of Kitty Section, first on lead vocals, Rose Lavillant!” Beside him Rose lifted her mask, waved, and held up a victory sign. “Rose is also writes our lyrics, runs our Instagram, and books our shows, she’s amazing and her hard work and persistence got us here tonight.” Eat that, Lila. “Next, if you didn’t know, I have the coolest kid sister in Paris and she’s here on bass, Juleka Couffaine.”  Juleka left her mask in place and her wave looked more like clawing the air. “And last, he plays a killer set of drums but he’s also one of the greatest friends any of us could ask for—especially if you have furniture to move—ladies and gentlemen, Ivan Bruel.” Ivan stood up behind his drum set and punched his arms in the air as the crowd cheered.  “Alright, let’s get this place rocking, I’m Luka Couffaine and we are,” they all bellowed together, “Kitty Section!”  

Ivan counted them off as Luka slipped his mask back on and relinquished the mic to Rose, her own mask back in place as she belted, “Oh I love unicorns…”

The energy in the crowd was amazing and it definitely fired up the band. Luka didn’t think they’d ever played better. They went through the first half of their set flawlessly and Luka felt incredible. 

Then it was time, and for the first time that evening the chill of nerves wound down Luka’s spine. 

“Thank you!” Rose hollered into the mic. “And now we have something special for you tonight, so ladies and gentlemen, kittens and unicorns, give it up for Kitty Section’s own Luka Couffaine!”

The audience erupted as Luka took off his mask, handing it to Rose as he took his place at the mic. 

“Wow, thank you,” he said, grinning out at them and hoping his nerves didn’t show as he raised the mic stand to a more comfortable height. “Really, thank you, I’m so humbled and grateful to have all your support.” Chants of Luka, Luka broke out and he laughed. “Wow, seriously, you guys. Thank you so much.” He cleared his throat. “So this next song is maybe an odd choice for a rock band, but I hope you’ll like what we’ve done with it. I’ve been thinking a lot about hopes and dreams lately. I think you can probably guess why,” he grinned as laughter rippled across the audience. “It’s been a pretty surreal experience. And it’s got me thinking a lot about dreams and life and just...potential, you know? I think about how lucky I am to have gotten the opportunities I’ve had. But, at the same time it feels disrespectful to call it luck, because it was intentional. It was a very special person taking the opportunities she’s been given and passing them on. If you ask her, she’ll tell you she didn’t do very much, but that’s not even remotely true. For one thing, she designed our awesome stage gear,” he tapped the sparkling kittycorn on his breastplate. “And if you could have been there in the band meetings and listened to what the poor girl had to put up with while we were tossing ideas around, you’d be even more impressed.” There was another ripple of laughter, and Luka chuckled, turning his pick in his fingers. “You know, some people think you have to be ruthless to follow your dreams, that you’ll never get anywhere without stepping on the people around you.” His eyes locked on Marinette, who was gaping at him, mouth open and one hand locked on Alya’s arm. “But then there are some people who aren’t afraid to share their dreams and who are excited to share yours, and that’s what Marinette has been for us. I don’t have time to tell you half of the things she’s done for Kitty Section and also for me personally, or to tell you how she’s encouraged and inspired a lot of people in this room, and if I tried she’d probably pass out.” He grinned and winked at her. “So instead I’m just gonna say, this one’s for you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the girl with a million dreams, and a heart big enough to hold all of ours.” There were scattered cheers from Marinette’s friends, but for the most part the room seemed to hold its collective breath.  

Luka closed his eyes for a moment, gathering himself. When he felt ready, he began to play what he’d been working on for weeks. He took a deep breath, and stepped up to the mic, eyes still half-closed as he began to sing, his voice low and mellow despite the metal sound of his guitar beneath. “I close my eyes and I can see a world that’s waiting up for me, that I call my own…Through the dark, through the door, through where no one’s been before, but it feels like home…”

Luka opened his eyes, and smiled down at Marinette, who now had both hands over her mouth. “They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy, they can say they can say I’ve lost my mind...I don’t care, I don’t care if they call me crazy...we can live in a world that we design…”

Luka tore his eyes away from her, scanning across the crowd, feeling Ivan’s rhythm through his feet and Juleka’s bass thrumming behind him and Rose’s voice coming in to support his. “Cause every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head, a million dreams are keeping me awake…I think of what the world could be, the vision of the one I see, a million dreams is all it’s gonna take...a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make.” He was starting to see faces in the crowd, now, friends that had come out to support them, faces with dreams for their own. He wanted every one of them to have the same gift Marinette had given him. He sang on, and his already racing heart tripped and stuttered, and he closed his eyes again to keep back the tears trying to spring up as he poured his heart into his hands and voice. 

“However big, however small, let me be part of it all...share your dreams with me...we may be right, we may be wrong, but I wanna bring you along, to the world I see, to the world we close our eyes to see, we close our eyes to see…”

He dropped his hands from the guitar and held the microphone instead.

“Every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head, a million dreams are keeping me awake.” He barely remembered to pick up his guitar in time to catch the crescendo. “I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see, a million dreams is all it’s gonna take, a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make…”

His voice caught on the last line. “For the world we’re gonna make.”

There was a beat of total silence, and the crowd exploded.  Luka could only raise a hand to acknowledge them as he stepped back, and accepted his mask back from Rose, who hugged him impulsively before coming back to her place at the microphone. He settled the mask back over his face, breathing hard, and tried to remember what they were supposed to play next. It was several minutes before he felt composed enough to look at Marinette.

Her face was in her hands, but she looked up just as he looked down and caught his eyes, and though her face was tear-streaked, the smile she gave him was blinding.

#quickspins #backlog #i'll give you the stars #lukanette #i am lukanette trash i admit it #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #miraculousladybug #miraculous ladybug #mlfics