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grahambaham · 3 months

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Hi, I'm bored and have decided to share some fics I really like, from multiple fandoms and stuff, in no particular order. Also, these aren't the actual summaries of the fics, just what I remember.

The World's Greatest Undercover Wizard by M_Mint - Tim Drake is going undercover as a fifth year wizard in Hogwarts to gather information on Dumbledore, Harry and the upcoming war.

Dark Matter by mysterycyclone - Peter Parker dies in Avengers Infinity War and wakes up in a Lazarus machine in a different world where he tries to find a way back home.

Literally anything by Bergen - lots of Spider-Man stuff, specifically Irondad but it's not cringey like a lot of them are. Well written and lots of the dry deadpan type of humor which I love.

The Blue Food Project by liketolaugh - Percy Jackson meets the characters of the Daredevil show and then later on the Avengers and becomes part of the team. Theyhelp him out with the Great Prophecy stuff and the Battle of Manhattan. Incredible writing, awesome plot, just love it. It's also Percabeth obviously.

Falling For You by 1967HogwartsGoddes - Percy saves Annabeth from falling into Tartarus but he couldn't save himself. So Percy's alone and Annabeth isn't there when he gets some morally ambiguous ideas. Dark Percy, Percabeth, lots of violence and bloodbending.

Harry Potter and the Welcome to the World of Grey by sobsicles - Voldemort succeeds in possessing Harry in the Department of Mysteries at the end of the fifth book and he starts to realize that not everything is always black and white. Morally grey Harry, Drarry but it's not the main focus of the story, Voldemort is still evil but you won't be able to hate him anyway, bizarre I know.

Peter the Pizza Guy by Irisen - Strange sends Peter to another universe instead of erasing everyone's memories of him. He arrives in Gotham and picks up a pizza delivery job.

Three's Family by darkbluedark - Harry and Draco are accidentally sent back in time to 1979 during their fight in the Room of Requirement in the last book and are found and interrogated by the order, specifically James Potter, Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore. Harry and Draco spent most of their 'captivity' bickering and the rest being suspicious of the people they know to be dead. Not Drarry, one of the funniest fics I've read and there's a good sequel too.

While Mighty Oaks Do Fall by WitchofEndor - Ozai sends Zuko to work in the Fire Nation temple and Zuko becomes a Fire Sage and uses knowledge learnt there to fuck up Ozai's plans while travelling with the Avatar. Sokka/Zuko, one of my favorite ATLA fics.

Mountains and Badgermolehills by Glass_Onion - Zhao captures Zuko after he breaks Aang out of the Pohuai Stronghold for treason and while captured, he meets another prisoner, our very own Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe.

That's it I guess. But these are all some of my all time favorite's. Most of them are pretty long but the time traveling hp one is a one-shot. Hope you enjoy!

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celestial-depths · 4 years

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Harry Potter has always been much less progressive than its fandom: a retrospective

In June 2020, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling decided to use her platform to devalue trans people by ridiculing a headline with trans-inclusive language and going on to spout hateful nonsense like insisting that recognizing trans women as real women makes the experiences of cis women somehow less valid. I’m not going to repeat her baseless arguments here because I’m not really interested in picking them apart, as more qualified commentators than me have already done that, and doing so would be like throwing rocks at a house of cards anyway. Instead, I want to reflect on the fan reaction to her statements. The response has been overwhelmingly negative, with many fans expressing feelings of disappointment and surprise over her choice to further vilify a group of people who are already marginalized and vulnerable to violence and discrimination. I was disappointed, too, but, sadly, not surprised. Not because this isn’t the first time in recent history when Rowling has aligned herself with TERFs, but because I think her writing and interviews have always suggested that her politics are way more regressive and conservative than what most of her fans may have assumed. Me and Harry Potter go way back. I’m in my thirties now, and I remember reading the first two books at the age of eleven, just before the global Harry Potter hype had really taken off. In fact, I may have been among the last wave of readers who got to start the series without the faintest idea what the books were even about. At the time, I had a habit of reading books without checking out the blurbs first because I enjoyed the feeling of diving into a story and being taken completely by surprise, so I didn’t even know that wizards were involved when I started reading. I couldn’t have been at more perfect an age to discover the books. For pre-teen readers like me, they were the perfect mix of escapism and relatability. It was wild adventures and magic combined with the everyday reality of a school-aged child, which is probably why I felt more connected to it than I did with other fantasy books I also enjoyed, such as The Lord of the Rings. Harry would learn spells and fight dragons in one chapter and worry about homework and making friends in the next one, which was why it was always easier for a kid like me to daydream about going to Hogwarts than it was to imagine fighting orcs in Middle-Earth (sidenote: this is also why I was never a big fan of the HP movies; they kept the exciting highlights but they left out the slice-of-life parts, which instantly made them seem less relatable to me). My generation also got to grow up with the series. I read the first book at 11, and the final one was released when I was 19, so I was always roughly the same age as Harry during my first read of each book. But by the time I read that final chapter, I was no longer as enamored with the series as I used to be – not because I’d grown bored with the series, but because its politics had started to worry me over the years. I didn’t like the story it was telling between the lines, and I certainly didn’t like the note it ended on. I wasn’t really involved in the fandom during my first years of being a fan of the series, but I did step into it around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was released. I was fifteen, I was extremely excited about the release of the first new HP book in three years, and I soon found myself spending hours in fan message boards speculating about future plot twists and discussing my favorite characters. The fandom had its flaws – you don’t know the meaning of the word “petty” unless you’ve witnessed the absolutely brutal fights adult human beings in the HP fandom had over their Hermione Granger shipping preferences – but overall the community was inclusive and open-minded. The fans were a diverse bunch of people who generally seemed to agree that the world of HP was as progressive as they were, since the main message most of them picked up from the books was that one should not discriminate anyone based on the qualities they were born with. I agreed with that reading of the books for a long time, but as I grew up I began to pay closer attention to what the books were actually depicting and what it was leaving out altogether, and I eventually started to wonder whether the series was progressive as it was made out to be. The story was seemingly preaching a message of inclusion, yet all the characters were straight (no, Dumbledore doesn’t count because his sexual orientation was never brought up in the books), cis, and able-bodied, and non-white characters were barely there. What is there to be inclusive about when there’s hardly any real diversity among the very, very vast cast of characters, especially not among the main heroes? Moreover, HP’s way of using non-human characters as metaphors for discrimination yielded very questionable results. The series used house-elves as a metaphor for slavery, yet it ends with the conclusion that the enslavement of house-elves was only wrong when they were treated cruelly, and that they actually preferred slavery to freedom, which was why Hermione was depicted as being silly for fighting for their emancipation. That’s a load of yikes. Werewolves, the series’ metaphor for the HIV positive, were violent, tragic, and uncontrollable, which is... also not great. And don’t even get me started on the books’ take on goblins, who bore extremely uncomfortable resemblance to antisemitic caricatures. The series built a hierarchy between species and used it to address real-life inequality between groups of people, but it never dismantled or even properly questioned that hierarchy, In fact, the biases towards and unequal treatment of other species was ultimately made to seem natural and right. So, there’s that. The books were also littered with awful fatphobia, which doesn’t comply with the anti-discrimination message by any means, and the apparent importance of personal choices and accomplishments got lost by the final two books. For instance, the penultimate book explores Voldemort’s origins and concludes that he was simply born evil, either because he lacked a mother’s love or because he was born from a loveless union (a rape, if we’re being specific, though the books doesn’t recognize it as such, and that’s a whole another can of problematic worms). I don’t even have the time to unpack all the twisted ideas about gender roles that plot point suggests, but my main point here is that it seems like Voldemort never chose to be evil, and apparently neither did his followers, as most of them seem to be villains because they were sorted into Slytherin, or that they were sorted into Slytherin because they were already villainous. At the age of 11. Even the two Slytherins who actively choose to do the right thing in the end (Draco and Snape) do so out of cowardice (Draco) or selfishness (Snape). Meanwhile, as the series progresses Harry’s goodness is less and less predicated by his actions and more based on the virtue of simply being the Chosen One, all the way up to the point where Harry ends up resorting to torture and mind-control – two of the three “unforgivable“ acts as determined by a previous installment in the series – and suffering absolutely no consequences, because he is the hero and nothing the hero does can be bad. The world of Harry Potter, which steers towards being morally ambiguous around the midpoint of the series, ends up being disappointingly black-and-white and deterministic by the end. Choice ends up having very little to do with anything. And then there’s the gender issue, which bothered me most of all. The series exhibits very old-fashioned and restrictive gender roles without ever really questioning them, throws around casual sexism, and it paints a really appalling picture of femininity through its overly sentimental, subservient, frivolous female characters, whose only motivation for doing anything is far too often devotion to a male character or their children, and who are always defeated by their pesky female emotions. Rowling is a self-declared feminist, and I distinctly remember this one writing of hers where she was congratulating herself for championing characters like Hermione Granger over characters like Pansy Parkinson, and that’s her view of feminism I guess? Putting down one female character in favor of another? Pitting women up against each other, urging them to be good girls instead of bad girls – doing all that instead of paying attention to the structural, cultural, ideological reasons why gender expectations and inequality are harmful? Honestly, I don’t think that HP is pro-women at all; the female characters lack agency and are constantly sidelined in favor of male characters, and the series valorizes a very narrow view of womanhood that’s obsessively centered around motherhood and sacrifice. Overall, the HP series seem to idealize this aesthetically and ideologically old-timey view of society where the world is unrealistically white and straight, and where static hierarchies prevail. The story does not end in a revolution, rebellion, or reform because the story isn’t really about progression; it’s about following traditions and preserving pre-existing power structures. The epilogue of the series really hammers down this point: in the final chapter, the main characters have grown up, married their (white) childhood sweethearts, assumed the roles and biases of their parents and named their kids after their dead relatives, joyfully returning to the origin point of a cycle that brought death and destruction into their world as if there was never anything wrong with that cycle to begin with. So, yeah. I’m not really shocked to see J.K. Rowling expressing awful opinions about trans people because the world of HP was already built upon a whole bunch of awful, traditionalist ideas. As a teen, I’d been read the series through the hopeful lens of my own set of values, but by the time that final book was released, I’d become disillusioned with Rowling and the series, and I no longer took HP for the forward-looking, inclusive story I had made it up to be. I didn’t stop liking certain aspects of the books, but I did stop thinking of Rowling as someone to look up to. For some time, I hoped that Rowling was simply misguided and that she would eventually listen, learn, and rethink. But she keeps proving herself as someone who absolutely refuses to see past her privileged, white, and straight point of view despite all of her resources, and who has inexplicably chosen to crusade against trans women, of all the people in the universe, as if the world wasn’t already hostile enough towards them. So, fuck her. But you know what? The HP fandom doesn’t have to take its cues from J.K. Rowling. The fans don’t have to condone her discriminatory views or agree to read her books in the light of her backward politics. They’ve never done that. From Wolfstar to Black Hermione and from Gay Draco to Trans Snape, the fandom has always been a nurturing environment for fan interpretations that aim to add diversity and complexity to the books, whether Rowling agrees or not. Long live the headcanon. (The fans have also learned to tune out Rowling’s unnecessary comments when they feel like it. Two words: wizard poop. That alone should suggest that the things she says aren’t always worthy of anyone’s attention.)

#harry potter #jk rowling

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battlestar-royco · 5 years

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Why do you think sjm and her books are so polarized? Most of the time there is no middle ground you either loath it or you love it. And why do you think its harder to separate the author from the books as opposed to hp where half the fandom couldn’t care less abt rowling?

This is something antis have been considering for a long time, and I think the main consensus is that it comes down to the way the books themselves are written. SJ/M’s writing is very manipulative. If she captures you, you love it. If she doesn’t, you hate it. Her approach to writing characters, as much as she probably thinks it is complex and gray, is very black and white. It’s obvious when she likes a character because that character and their love interest will get copious page time, praise from the narrator and other characters, power, wealth, beauty, attention, and character development. It’s equally as obvious when she dislikes or grows bored of a character. That character’s personality, code of honor, actions, loyalties, and values will be completely different, and often the indicator of their moral failings will be their inconvenience, rudeness, or lack of commitment toward the main character. The main character will probably grossly mistreat this character in some way, and yet all the blame will somehow fall on the mistreated one while the MC prospers. Some examples of shunted characters are N/esta, M0r, L/ucien, and C/haol. Each have suffered directly because of something Failsand or Ratalien has done, and yet each has been made to apologize to the MCs or is heavily implied to do so in the future. Thus, the fandom gets incredibly divided. Certain readers will point out the flaws in the writing, drop out of the fandom, or stop reading after their favorite character is ruined. Fans who like the favored characters resultantly get up in arms to defend SJ/M and the main characters because SJ/M wrote them in such a way that inspires sympathy in the fandom even if they don’t deserve it. Seeing as she continues to publish books with known fandom-divisive elements, such as love triangles, retcons, and OOC characters, her fandom continues to splinter with each new book. The only ones left at this point are the hardcore stans who continue to defend her out of love or spite or both.

As for the second question, hm that’s a little harder. With the specific example of HP, the HP fandom is much older and bigger than SJ/M’s, with movie adaptations and merch and other franchise stuff, and SJ/M is publishing in a different time than JKR did. Therefore the fandoms and their modes of engagement, the book market, the technology, the diversity standards, etc are completely different. JKR will always have stans, but HP fans have a far wider range of ways to engage with HP universe material than do SJ/M stans so it’s possible that HP fans interact in their own way and forget JKR if they want while SJ/M stans feel like they have to keep reading the books and stay in the fandom because that’s all they have. Like, when you pick up Harry Potter, you’re not like “I’m reading a JKR book,” you’re like “I’m reading Harry Potter.” Meanwhile with SJ/M I feel like it’s easier to keep the author in mind because HP is obviously a much more iconic series and SJ/M at this point is known for smutty fae. Also, for some reason many stans fail to realize that SJ/M critics are discussing her books and not attacking her as a person, so SJ/M herself is brought into the anti conversation often. “What do you expect? It’s not her fault she’s white and she doesn’t know better,” “You try writing something like that at age 16,” “I’m sure Sarah didn’t mean it like that when she wrote N/ehemia’s death,” etc. And at this point, Mess stands out soooo far from other YA authors in terms of diversity and craft, it’s absurd. So sometimes the conversation does come to her as a person because every day all the problems that appear in her books are more clearly becoming unique to her. That’s my best guess!

#anti sjm

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janiedean · 6 years

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Why don't you like Harry Potter?

I could reply ‘because it’s not a given that anyone would like it’ but if we want to be specific (SORRY ANYONE WHO LIKES IT TAKE IT AS MY PERSONAL OPINION):

I tend to not care about things where the protagonists are teenagers and in high school (asoiaf is the exception and the teenagers/children aren’t all of it and they’re not in high school) in general and HP is basically that except with magic

I am absolutely not into **magic** stuff when we’re discussing fantasy - I like lotr and asoiaf and discworld (which is satire/trope subversion anyway) and I have other exceptions but stuff like WIZARDS AND WITCHES AND STUFF is one of the things that I can care less as far as fiction is concerned

I find it really too simplistic in plot conception and execution, like I read maybe a bit of it and I couldn’t get into the style whatsoever because I thought it was nothing special

I watched like movie four and a part of two and I fell asleep during both for how little I could care

there is like one damned gray character in those books/films - ONE - and I’ve been hearing discourse about whether he’s GOOD OR BAD since I was in middle school

I’ve been withstanding snape discourse since middle school excuse me if I can’t stand it anymore

my friends back in the day couldn’t talk about literally anything else so if you didn’t care you either were uncool or you just had to listen to them harping about it when I was just like CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE

they also proceeded to spoil me the entire thing at least for the main stuff so why the hell would I be interested if I already know everything and excuse me it sounds like the least interesting chosen hero story in existence to me at least

(no honestly harry is such a Chosen Hero trope in all the worst ways like sorry I really don’t care)

I’ve read/seen so much shit with the same moral which was better written and conceived that I’m nowhere near interested in getting into that, too

I really don’t care about wizards under the age of eighteen (and over the age of eighteen it’s... a very selected choice)

I can’t stand that this fandom is so entitled that they got eight movies, one play, the books, THE PREQUELS, I don’t even know how fucking much extra canon and so on and THEY HAVE TO KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT EVERY OTHER MOMENT and the play was shitty, and the prequels are cash grab and the movies sucked and HERMIONE’S DRESS WAS PINK AND NOT BLUE AND THAT WAS A PLOT POINT THAT I HAD TO SEE DISCUSSED FOR ANOTHER THREE YEARS LIKE WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE WHAT HERMIONE’S DRESS LOOKS LIKE, never mind that y’all have such a large fandom you can find virtually any pairing or ship or kink in it but of course I only see wanking about stuff when my favorite fantasy series is a perpetual yuletide fave, my otp has twenty fics half of which are tied to me somehow and got one shitty movie after years which sucked ass but of course AFTER EIGHT MOVIES THE PROBLEM IS *HERMIONE’S DRESS*

the harry/hermione vs ron/hermione shipwar that people still can’t let go about wanted to make me go murder people back when I had to read discourse about it oN LIVEJOURNAL, ON TUMBLR, ON FB AND IRL at the same time

the fucking snape discourse

the fact that people can’t seem to tag their posts with hp assuming that everyone likes it so I had to blacklist that, snape, hermione and idk how many characters just to make sure that shit wasn’t on my dash anymore and I still see it

once I said that I wasn’t gonna read it anyway because if I did I’d only care for some of the adults and I knew they were gonna die since everyone spoiled it for me already and then someone had the disgrace to say ‘if you liked theon in asoiaf you’d probably like snape as a character’ and I had to go through four hours of anon wanking about SNAPE DISCOURSE when I didn’t even know how to reply and my experience with this fandom is ALWAYS like that

I find it utterly boring and predictable and I can’t care less

also: let’s get it out of the way that I watched fantastic beasts with friends who dragged me and I didn’t dislike it actually I thought it was cute and GUESS WHY IT WAS BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS AN ADULT AND DIDN’T GO TO SCHOOL and it was touching somehow more serious themes than your usual trite YA stuff that the original is, and obviously the fandom is so full with discourse I’d never even touch it with a ten foot pole but it also shows people can’t seem to read/interpret anything related to HP in a sane way and without realizing that IT’S NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE GDI, same as apparently they can’t let go of the fact that they have to put poor snape in one specific box instead of admitting that assholes can do good things for a good cause without meaning they aren’t assholes and be fucking done with it already. I also have no ill will towards poor jkr who has decent political views and only made money out of doing what she liked but which I have a feeling is a way better adult writer than YA writer but she never will have the chance to because if she gets out of the HP sphere no one cares about what she produces and/or doesn’t get it (guys I had to read there wasn’t racism talk in FB when it was set in the US like what did you think wizards not being able to marry normal humans was standing for).

but tldr: I find it a bunch of YA re-heated tropes put together in a way that can work for kids and was very smartly put together but is not really greatly written and does not work for me and I can’t give less of a fuck about the original series especially about teenager protagonists, the fandom is the incarnation of walking discourse, I hate that everyone seems to assume that you have to like HP and that it’s impossible that you might actually not give a fuck, I hate that I’ve had to hear HP discourse/talk since I was nine years old ie for the previous twenty years of my life, I hate that I can’t seem to escape idiotic discourse even if I try to get it out of my way and ah I forgot, I can’t anymore with people fighting bloody battles over freaking hogwarts houses and ah wait again I hate how in any small fandom in existence you won’t find a lot of things but THE HOGWARTS AU HAS TO BE THERE and if you don’t care for it you’ll have to read it anyway while being bored out of your mind because you really just don’t care for that setting.

ah, and I’m sick tired of having to justify the fact that I don’t like HP to about everyone I know irl because apparently it’s impossible that I can, you know, not like something that everyone else likes.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

again: I don’t mind discussing it on my terms and with people I know who also know I’m not interested in reading or watching it, but I’m really sick tired of seeing it everywhere after twenty years of telling everyone I don’t care. I mean. twenty years. I’m glad people enjoy it and I’m glad it got people into books and I absolutely don’t want to tell people they shouldn’t enjoy it because I can’t get into it - it’s their childhood and their favorite series and I’m sure it was great for them same as the stuff I liked was good for me - but it doesn’t mean I actually have to like it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #hp for ts #harry potter for ts #GUYS DON'T GO EXPLAINING ME WHY I'M WRONG OR WHY I SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY #OR WHY I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT IT #I know I don't get it #no I still don't care #you can like it I don't have to #peace out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#Anonymous #ask post

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foundcarcosa · 6 years

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ccxxv.

What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church? >> The kind that makes one the most comfortable to wear.

What would you wear to church? >> I wear anything I want to church. None of my clothes are blatantly inappropriate church attire except for a couple of band shirts.

Would/Do you like having brown eyes? >> Having brown eyes is fine with me.

Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? >> I sure do.

Could you live without the internet? >> I’d survive, I’m sure, but internet access enriches my life in ways that I find indispensable. I would be loath to give that up.

Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? >> I bought three people Christmas gifts, and about ten people got cards.

Do you have a Christmas tree in your house now? >> Yes.

How do you feel when someone hates on Apple? >> Understanding.

Do you have an Iphone? If so, which one? >> I don’t.

Favorite flavor of jello? >> I like cherry.

I see. Do you have long toes? >> Not any longer than anyone else’s, I don’t think.

What’s something someone said to you that bothered you? >> I can’t remember anything off the top of my head.

What is one of your favorite compliments to receive? >> Anything regarding my fiction.

Do you compliment other random people? >> Occasionally.

Could you see yourself buying a truck as your go to vehicle? >> I could see that, yes.

What kind of car do you want? Something less than $100,000. >> A Tesla Model 3.

What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? >> I’d appreciate being given a gift, period. Books are nice, if we must be specific.

Can you type fast? >> Sure.

Can you type without looking at the letters? >> Yes.

Did you take typing classes? >> I was self-taught. I think I might have had a few half-hearted attempts at typing classes in my school career, but I didn’t pay them much attention since I already knew how.

What do you use Facebook for? >> Lately, as a meme repository (and a login device, since a lot of websites have that “login through facebook” feature and I’ve used it enough times that keeping an account is necessary). I find a lot of things about facebook -- format wise and content wise -- to be more trouble than it’s worth.

What do you look like in your profile picture? >> On facebook? I look like me sitting by the river.

Do you love cartoons? >> Sure.

Name a band that you like. >> Vanden Plas.

Name a band you don’t like. >> Mumford & Sons.

Name a genre of music you don’t like? >> Bluegrass.

What genre of music do you listen to around the house? >> No specific genre.

You think it’s wrong to tell a person ____. >> That they should off themselves because of some perceived moral failing.

What kind of compliments have you given? >> No specific kind.

Would you rather give or receive? >> ---

Do you paint your own nails? >> Yes.

Do you like acrylic nails? >> No.

What is your favorite red lipstick? >> I don’t have one.

What are your favorite colors to wear? >> Black, gold, green.

What colors do you NOT wear? >> I don’t wear white, but that’s mostly because wearing white makes me paranoid about getting it dirty. I think black people in white is a compelling aesthetic. Maybe I’ll get over the paranoia one day.

Where do you shop for most of clothes? >> Amazon, Hot Topic, Rue 21-type stores, Plato’s Closet, thrift shops.

What are your favorite clothing stores/shops? >> I don’t know if I have any. All clothing stores manage to disappoint me in some way eventually.

What kind of shoes do you like? >> Boots.

Describe your style in one word. >> Eclectic.

Describe your current personality in one or two words. >> I’m not sure I can do that.

What is your opinion on weed? >> I enjoy it and I think other people should be able to enjoy it (or abstain from it) at their leisure.

Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? >> Yes, which is why I refuse to experience it.

What are your favorite bottoms to wear? >> Pajama bottoms, rave pants, Gap jeans, long layered skirts.

Do you like dresses? >> I do, but I’m particular about the kinds I’ll wear.

Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork? >> It doesn’t matter to me.

Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? >> Some with a fork, some with a spoon. Depends on the consistency of the cake.

What age will you be next? >> 31.

Did you graduate high school? >> I did.

Do you make youtube videos? If so, leave your URL >> I used to take video surveys. That was wild.

Do you flat iron your hair? >> No.

What physical features do you wish you had? ( name 2 ). >> Ram horns and a big dick.

Would you ever get plastic cosmetic surgery? >> Probably not. (Also, I’m being facetious about the big dick. It just sounded funny. Dead ass serious about the ram horns, though.)

Ever broken a bone? >> No.

What are your favorite youtube videos to watch? >> Music videos, Honest Trailers, and stuff like School of Life.

What is your favorite sex position? ;) >> Definitely missionary.

Do you like red lipstick? >> Sure.

What color will you paint your nails next? >> I don’t know yet. I need some new colours. I desperately need a good vibrant shimmery gold.

What is one of your favorite Disney movies? >> Hunchback of Notre Dame.

If you could meet a real life Disney character who would it be? >> Tia Dalma, hands down.

Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? >> No.

Do you like to play computer games a lot? >> Yes.

Are you a sore loser? >> Not usually.

What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? >> ---

What is your beer of choice? >> I’ll always go for something by Founder’s, Abita, or Leinenkugel.

What do you plan to buy next? >> Probably groceries, and maybe a couple of things for my room.

Do you like shopping? >> Not especially, but I try to find ways to make it less boring/aggravating.

What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekend? >> Hm.

Here, I’m giving you $500 dollars to one store, where would you spend it? >> Let’s just go for Amazon and call it a day.

Would you look good in a Beatle car? >> I’d look good in any kind of car, I’m sure.

Do you play slug bug? >> Sometimes.

What kind of computer are on? >> Normandy is a Lenovo IdeaPad.

You are attracted to ___. >> Where do I even begin.

Do you like glitter? >> I like looking at it sometimes, but I don’t like having it all over me (which is what inevitably happens any time you even think about glitter).

Have you ever owned a Quija board? >> No.

Do you like to text? >> Meh. I prefer instant messaging, especially since that means I can use my computer keyboard.

If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? >> Let’s stay on-brand and go with spider.

Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? >> Dry.

What kind of shampoo do you use? Be specific. >> I use OGX’s teatree and mint conditioner.

Do you have acne? >> No.

You’re glad that you don’t ___. >> have to do anything specific tomorrow.

You’re glad that you do ___. >> have a new library book to read.

Your favorite cuss word? >> I guess “fuck”.

Are you obsessed with any superheros? >> I’m really into Doc Strange.

Do you read comic books? >> Sure.

Do you like the Sunday paper and why or why not? >> I have no opinion on the Sunday papers.

Do you have cable? >> No.

What’s a show you wish that was still on air? >> I wish Carnivale had gotten to run its full course.

Do you listen to the radio at all? >> Not unless it’s playing in the car.

Do you like hip hop? >> Sure do.

Do you like pretzels? >> The big soft ones. But I’ll eat a few of the small crunchy ones too, if they’re there.

Do you like snow? >> Yeah.

What’s your favorite thing about your favorite season? Name the season. >> I am currently in the market for a new favourite season.

Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. >> Ley lines.

Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? >> Frogs.

And your lastname. >> Dryads.

Do you have pets? If so, what and what are their names? >> I personally don’t, no.

You want your next pet to be what? >> I’m not even sure I personally like the idea of pets anymore. (Human ones aside, I suppose--)

Are you a religious person? >> Yes.

Do you like pina coladas? >> I’ve never had one.

Do you like coconut scents? >> BPAL’s Elegba fragrance has coconut in it, and at first I was like “hrm...” but it works. Anyway, I like coconut circumstantially. Sometimes it’s just too much, but sometimes it just works.

What is your favorite Bath and Body Works candles? >> ---

Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? >> Eh, I can get candles I like for cheaper than that, so probably not.

What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? >> I’m not sure.

Do you look in the mirror a lot? >> Nah.

Do you brush your teeth twice a day everyday? >> No, once.

What brand of toothpaste do you use? >> Tom’s of Maine.

What is a dessert that you DON’T like? >> Chocolate cake.

And one that you love? >> Tiramisu. --Dammit, I accidentally left the rest of my tiramisu and Chinese food at Sparrow’s parents’ house! >:|

Twilight or Harry Potter? >> I prefer HP to Twilight.

Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? >> I don’t think either of those would suit me very well.

About how many times do you fart in a day? >> I mean, I don’t count or anything.

I see… well… what is your favorite angry music? >> I don’t know.

Do you have a favorite number? >> Nine...? You know, I think I’m just going to settle on nine for a number. It’s eight plus one (and eight is my dad’s number, so that makes a kind of sense), and it’s in nineteen, and there are some mythological connotations to consider. Eight’s a really good number too, though. But maybe I’ll go with nine. Nine will be mine.

Had a crush on somebody that every1 around u thought was ugly? >> Sure.

Are you happy with your physical features? >> Most of the time.

P.E or Math? >> Math.

Math or Science? >> Hm.

Creative Writing or Art? >> Creative Writing.

When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? >> Spirals, shapes. Little dancing stick figures.

What is something that you like that is really cheap in price? >> Incense from Sleeping Bear or whatever the name of that mall store is.

What is something that you like that is kind of expensive? >> Travel.

What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? >> Depends on where my head is at. I’ve done everything from laugh to ignore to fly off the handle.

Do you argue with your significant other a lot? >> No.

Have you ever had a really painful breakup? >> Yes.

Which is better smoking or vaping? >> I assume vaping is less risky.

Do you write in print or cursive? >> Mostly print, for legibility, but I enjoy writing in script.

Do you have neat handwriting? >> It’s gotten less neat over the years, since I’m always on the computer. But it’s still quite legible most of the time, I think. I just have to get the fluidity back into it.

What do you like to write with? >> Pentel Flair type pens.

Do you keep a journal/diary? >> I keep a dreamwidth, and sometimes I even update it.

You should. Do you eat salads? >> Yes.

What do you like in your salad? If you do. If not, what is 1+1? >> Multiple types of greens, a bit of vinaigrette, a little feta, something crunchy like onion or celery or chip shards or small crackers. Pieces of apple is nice too.

If you HAD to change your eyecolor, what would you change it to? >> Hazel.

What would you not change it to? >> Blue. Although it’d be funny from a Deschain point of view.

What is one of your favorite colors? >> Dusky purple.

Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. >> I definitely prefer being dark.

Favorite thing to do on your phone? >> Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, Bejeweled, reading ebooks.

What magazines do you like? >> New Scientist and Revolver.

What is your favorite book? >> I can’t possibly choose anymore.

What is your favorite thing about Christmas? >> The music.

I’m giving a ticket to wherever you want, where would you go? >> New Orleans.

Here’s $5, what do you do with it? >> Right now, nothing. I’d probably use it for a snack at the gas station during one of my walks.

Cool. Cool. Favorite flavor of Ice Cream? >> Butter pecan, I guess.

Least favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Anything chocolate.

Do you prefer white or black electronics? >> Black.

What is your favorite deodorant? >> I like the smell of my lavender one.

Are you a good kisser ( make out )? >> I like to think so.

A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? >> Recoil and fight my way out of it.

Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? >> No.

Have you ever gotten the shakes in public? >> Sure.

What do you like to order from Starbucks? >> Eh.

Vanilla or Chocolate? >> Vanilla.

Apples or Bananas? >> Apples.

Fruit or Veggies? >> Veggies.

Water or Milk? >> Water.

Regular Milk or Chocolate Milk? >> Regular, if I must.

Would you milk a cow given the chance? >> I’d have to at least try it.

What kind of underwear do you like? >> The kind that doesn’t give me a wedgie or some other kind of discomfort. (That’s... harder to do than it seems. A lot of underwear styles don’t sit right on me for some reason. Sparrow says it’s because my butt’s big. Probably.)

Where do you shop for your underwear? >> I don’t have a specific place.

Chicken or Fish? >> Fish.

Firm pillow or soft pillow? >> I prefer it to be a little firm.

What are you wearing when you go to sleep? >> Usually a t-shirt and pj pants, in this season.

Do you take any meds? If so which and why? >> No.

Do you like this survey? >> Sure, it was fine.

#surveysofsamedi

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coltondeforest · 7 years

Photo

BASICS

NAME: Colton Desmond DeForest

NICKNAMES: Colt, Grumpy, Sheriff

AGE: 87, appears roughly 30. (Even though I use gifs from all over the place)

BIRTHDAY: March 25th, 1930

SPECIES: Werewolf

GENDER: Male

PRONOUNS: He/him

FAMILY

MOTHER: Aurora DeForest (née Reynolds)

FATHER: Christian DeForest

FAMILY: Colton never met any of his other family. His mother’s side didn’t know about their werewolf genes so Aurora had cut contact with them not long after she triggered her curse, afraid to tell her family the truth about the existence of supernaturals. She knew they would reject her. Christian was an only child. His mother died when he was young and his father died before Colton was born.

SIBLINGS: None

APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Jensen Ackles

RACE/ETHNICITY: Caucasian. American/English/Austrian

HEIGHT: 6′2″

WEIGHT: roughly 182 lbs

BUILD: Athletic

HAIR: He keeps it short in a sort of messy side part and ivy league crew cut hybrid where the hair on the top of his head is long enough to style into a side part. He doesn’t have it as close shaven on the side as a typical crew cut which makes it more leaning towards the messy side part style, but at the same time, the hair on the sides is cut shorter than the normal length of a messy side part. Hence why it’s a hybrid of the two styles.

FACIAL HAIR: Very light stubble. He only has more stubble when he’s too focused on work to shave. When he does get more stubble Colton gets a full face of hair. It’s not patchy, it’s not wimpy little strings of hair in random small spots, he gets a full-blown beard. He’s never done it but he could go full lumberjack.

HAIR COLOR: Somewhere between dirty blonde and light brown

EYE COLOR: Green

SKIN COLOR: White

DOMINANT HAND: Right

ANOMALIES: Technically the werewolf gene is an “anomaly”, that mutation didn’t just happen by nature.

SCENT: Coffee grinds, and a natural earthy smell especially when he spends more time outdoors and in the woods.

ACCENT: He’s worked out any telling accent. He has what would be considered the general American accent that doesn’t seem specific to any one region.

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: None

LEARNING DISABILITIES: None

ALLERGIES: None

DISEASES: None

DISORDERS: Insomnia

BLOOD TYPE: A+

FASHION: Suits, ties, and a formal uniform when the time calls for it at work. When he’s not working, generally a plaid or solid coloured long sleeve button-up shirt over a solid coloured t-shirt, jeans, and work boots or other dark brown or black boots.

TATTOOS: None

PIERCINGS: None

JEWELLERY: A watch.

NERVOUS TICS: He bites his lips, licks his lips, crosses his arms over his chest and paces, rubs his chin, pinches the bridge of his nose.

HOME LIFE

HOME ADDRESS: 15 Oak Ridge Rd

RESIDES: Hollow Grove, Massachutes

BORN: Eatonville, Washington, United States

RAISED: Eatonville, Washington then moved between a few cities in Colorado when his mom needed to hide her slow ageing. Grand Lake, Granby, and Nederland, Colorado.

VEHICLE: A 2014 Jeep Renegade

PHONE: Silver Samsung Galaxy S7

LAPTOP/COMPUTER: At home an HP from the business line that he didn’t care to memorize, and a Dell at the station.

PETS: Elvis the German Shepherd

EDUCATION AND SPECIALIZATIONS

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: He never actually graduated or got a GED. He studied through his junior year, but in April of his junior year his mom was killed and he ran away.

COLLEGE EDUCATION: None, Colton never went to college

MAJOR: None

MINOR: Still none

CAREER: Sheriff of Hollow Grove

EXPERIENCE: 20 years in HGPD, 5-ish years as Sheriff

EMPLOYER: Hollow Grove Police Department? The town I guess. If he’s doing a bad job they’re the ones who kick him out.

YEARLY SALARY: ~ $110,000 (based on sheriff salaries from MA)

BADGE NUMBER: Badge #83527

WEAPONS: He has several guns. Bullets to use again werewolves and vampires in case either species threaten the safety of the town. Mainly he relies on his supernatural speed and strength.

TRAINED IN: Hand-to-hand combat. He learned how to fight when he was on his own to protect himself, refined his skills during the war, and has spent even more time honing his skills since he came to Hollow Grove and started training with Dara.

LANGUAGES: English, conversational Spanish

BELIEFS

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: He doesn’t care much

RELIGION: Agnostic

BELIEFS: Whatever he believed when he was a child Colton has let go of. Colton isn’t sure what he believes in, not anymore. He wants to think that when you die it’s more than nothing but he knows that no one really has the answer.

MISDEMEANORS: None. None that he’s gotten within the last forty years at least.

FELONIES: None, but he has killed people. If he’d stayed he probably would’ve gotten off killing the man that killed his mother in self-defence.

TICKETS AND/OR VIOLATIONS: Not recently. He’s gotten them before, mainly before he became a Police Officer in Hollow Grove. Colton has gotten tickets for speeding, parking violations and that sort of thing. There are no outstanding violations or tickets.

DRUGS: No

SMOKES: No

ALCOHOL: Drinks frequently but not to the point of crossing the line into alcoholism. If he’s drinking he doesn’t aim to get drunk. What he wants is one or two beers to calm his nerves as that’s it.

DIET: When he’s busy a small breakfast if he remembers it. Normally just coffee. Whatever lunch he manages, normally a sandwich. For dinner, whatever he orders in. When he’s not as busy he’ll take the time to make better meals.

RELATIONSHIPS

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

MARTIAL STATUS: Never been married

CHILDREN: Aurora Jane DeForest

AVAILABILITY: Taken

LOOKING FOR: Lorelei

PERSONALITY AND INTERACTION

PHOBIAS: failing the people he cares most about, losing his family again, being left alone in the world again

HOBBIES: Working, giving Jamie a hard time, getting Matty out of trees, taking long walks through parks and forests

TRAITS: Dedicated, loyal, overprotective, cares a little bit too much, puts everything inside him into helping others

QUIRKS: Used to hustle pool for money, will randomly hustle newcomers asses in pool when he gets bored and is at the bar

SOCIAL MEDIA: He has an Instagram now only because he was annoyed into making one. He doesn’t have anything else but will occasionally use other people’s snapchats, but he never sends a snapchat for more than the bare minimum so no one can react fast enough to screenshot whatever he sent.

FAVORITES

LOCATION: Old-growth Forests, Mt. Rainier National Park

SPORTS TEAM: New York Giants

MUSIC: He listens to most things, his favorite Artist is Johnny Cash

SHOWS: Doesn’t watch much TV, but he does watch Game of Thrones

MOVIES: The God Father

BOOKS: He doesn’t have time to read much anymore if you asked him what his favorite book was he wouldn’t know what to answer. All he reads are police reports and case files and that’s not fun.

FOOD: Hamburgers

BEVERAGE: Scotch

COLOR: Dark Green

MISCELLANEOUS

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good

MBTI: ISFJ

MBTI ROLE: The Defender

ENNEAGRAM: Type 8

ENNEAGRAM ROLE: The Leader

TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic

WESTERN ZODIAC: Gemini by quiz, Aries by birth

CHINESE ZODIAC: Horse

PRIMAL SIGN: Hammerhead shark

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Gryffindor

ILVERYMORNY HOUSE: Wampus

TV TROPES: The Protagonist

TAROT CARD: The Emperor

#hgtask #( sᴇᴛ ɪɴ sᴛᴏɴᴇ ¦ headcanon )#i decided to waste time with a stupid shitty task header #ayyye

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inu-jiru · 7 years

Text

Erro Dreemurr

(Template by HarmonyParty on DeviantArt)

~BASIC INFO~

Name: Erro Dreemurr (Pronounced like “Arrow”)

Nickname: Airhead (by bullies), Little Rascal (by his parents), Curly Top (by Sans), Punk (by Undyne), and Small Asgore Clone (by Papyrus).

Gender: Male

Age: 7, in human years.

Species/What Are They: Boss Monster

Soul (Color): White

Sexuality: Straight

~BATTLE INFO~

Atc: 8

Def: 4

Exp: 64

LV: 1

HP: 104

Weapons: He has an old dagger given to him by Undyne (ONLY for emergencies, she warned him), and a slingshot.

Powers/Attacks: He has the same fireball attacks as his parents and Asriel. He tends to combine his fireball attacks with his slingshot, using them as ammo when he fights. He also uses his dagger as a makeshift sword. He has a special magic spell that conjures up a magic-made dagger similar to his own that he gives to his opponent in order to have a fair fight.

Fighting Style: He takes inspiration from Robin Hood, and it shows in his fighting style. Robin Hood was a master swordsman and archer, so he mimics the attacks of someone fighting with a sword. Since he isn’t allowed to have a bow, he uses his slingshot to launch fire attacks at his opponent.

~RELATIONSHIP INFO~

Friends With: His closest friends are a band of monster children born after the Barrier broke. He calls them his band of “Merry Monsters”.

Neutral With: Most humans. Frisk and Chara are the only humans he likes.

Enemies With: A small group of human bullies at his mother’s school.

Family: Asgore (Father), Toriel (Mother), Asriel (Older Brother), Chara and Frisk (Adopted Older Siblings).

Crush(es): None.

Single, Taken, Or Talking (If the last two, with who): Single.

~PERSONALITY~

Personality Towards Humans: Aside from Frisk and Chara (and to a lesser extent, the human teachers at his school), he does not like humans very much. This is because of what he’s been told about the war, as well as the fact that he’s constantly harassed by human bullies at school. Because of this, he’ll either just ignore their presence, or be really supicious of them if they engage in conversation. His parents have tried to convince him that humans and monsters are equals, but it hasn’t helped.

Personality Towards Strangers: See above for human strangers. For monster strangers, he’ll typically stay away unless he absolutely needs to interact with them for whatever reason. Most times, he’s in his own world, so he’d come off as odd to people who don’t know him.

Personality Towards Friends: With his band of Merry Monsters, he acts very confident, putting on his persona as a ringleader to their shenanigans. He can come off as bossy at times, and sometimes his friends can be overwhelmed by his overzealous attitude.

Strengths: Erro’s strengths are his athleticism, his offensive capabilities, his bravery, his understanding of right and wrong, and his sense of honor.

Weaknesses: Erro’s weaknesses are his youth and inexperience, his defensive capabilities, a lack of any sort of strategy when fighting, a short attention span, and his naivety.

Flaws: Erro’s ultimate flaws are his mischievous behavior and overall disregard for rules, his lack of understanding as to why violence is a inherently a bad thing, his prejudice and mistrust of humans, and an ego that tends to get him in trouble. He also only sees things in black and white, so he doesn’t understand just how complex morality can be.

Likes: He likes stories, especially ones of adventure and action (the stories of Robin Hood are his absolute favorite). He likes sweets, especially marshmallows (he has his own secret stash of him hidden under his bed. He likes to help Toriel cook sometimes (even if she only lets him do boring jobs like mixing batter), and he often gardens with Asgore (he plants Venus Fly Traps because they’re cool). He likes puns, and action-oriented anime, although he “ironically” watches Mew Mew Kissing Cutie from time to time. In fact, he “ironically” enjoys a lot of things one would consider “girly”. He especially likes the outdoors and any activity associated with it. He enjoys spending time with his “Aunt” Undyne so she can teach him some basic fighting skills (nothing too serious; Toriel won’t allow it).

Dislikes: His hair can be irritating at times, since he has to keep blowing it out of his face to see (although he sees it as “his style”, so he won’t let it be cut). He hates bullies and anyone fitting the stereotypically “evil” label. He hates vegetables and Papyrus’ spaghetti (he’ll do anything to get out of eating it). Being lectured annoys him, as well (unfortunately, he goes through that a lot). Lastly, he can’t stand rain, only because his parents refuse to let him go out when it happens.

Fears: He fears that humans will attack the monsters again someday, sealing them away like they did in the past. He also has a fear of losing someone he cares about to someone cruel and evil. Being alone makes him nervous as well. A minor fear of his is spiders (he’s no longer allowed in Muffet’s bakery for this reason).

~APPEARANCE~

Eye Color: Erro has blue eyes.

Clothes: His clothes are based off a medieval style, with a Lincoln Green tunic, and dark brown pants. He wears a rope belt around his waist, which is where he keeps his dagger and slingshot. A black delta rune is printed on the back of his tunic.

Hair: Erro has short, curly, blond hair that covers his face.

Skin: The skin under Erro’s fur is a soft, fleshy color.

Other: Erro has abnormally long fangs, and despite being as younger than Asriel, his horns have started to grow in. His ears aren’t floppy like the rest of his family, but are similar in shape to an Angora goat’s ears.

~OTHER INFO~

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Goals/Purpose: His ultimate goal is to be a true hero and warrior, like Undyne. Unfortunately, he focuses too much on the violence aspect rather than actual justice.

Job: None, although he does want to do something hero-related in the future.

Items: His dagger and wooden slingshot. He sometimes carries some marshmallows on his person.

~BACKSTORY~

Backstory: Erro’s story begins a few years after the Barrier broke. Asgore and Toriel, after months of gradually growing closer after their time apart, finally decided to rekindle their old marriage, living together with Frisk as their child. Not long after that Asriel and Chara were restored to their former selves, and the Dreemurr family was back to what it once was. But one day, Toriel and Asgore broke the news to their friends and family: Toriel was pregnant. After nine months, a healthy baby boy was born, Erro Dreemurr.

Erro’s first years were peaceful, being part of the new generation of monsters born in freedom. He was taught the history of the monsters, although the darker moments were often skipped over. Knowing how much monsters were hurt by humans, Erro gained a distrust for most of them. It didn’t help that a lot of humans acted antagonistic towards monsters because they were monsters. Despite that, he found a lot of their culture interesting, like Robin Hood, which influenced him to take an interest in heroism and justice. He wanted to be a hero and protect the innocent, like the heroes in his stories. He went to Undyne, who he idolized greatly for her history as the Captain of his father’s Royal Guard, and asked her to train him. Undyne agreed, but she taught him only the basics, knowing how upset Toriel would be if she taught her son to be a killer, or caused the boy to get hurt.

As Erro grew older, he began acting out his heroic persona in public, acting as a warrior who’d beat up bad guy he came across. This led him to have many fights with the local bullies. While the other children idolized him for his bravery, Toriel and Asgore didn’t approve of his impulsive and violent behavior. Erro wasn’t sure why; he was only trying to be helpful. He didn’t understand what it meant to solve his problems in a pacifistic way. So Toriel and Asgore tried to turn his interests elsewhere, with baking or gardening. They have helped a little, but Erro was still set in his ways. Currently, he’s still a rambunctious, wannabe-hero, although he has more outlets to channel his energy than he used to. But he still has a lot to learn, and a lot of growing up to do.

#undertale #undertale oc #Undertale oc bio #undertale fan character #undertale fan child #asgoriel #asgore x toriel #criticism welcome

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