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#i Could code but i would be miserable doing it
bonetrousledbones · 2 months
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the past couple days i have been putting so much work into a little lore puzzle-ish thing only to now remember that like 3 people will see it because nobody looks at desktop themes anymore
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thecodeveronica · 12 days
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Oh boy, Dead by Daylight patch time tomorrow. You know what that means! Time for me to unreasonably get my hopes up for new RE skins to be in the datamine and then feel the crushing disappointment when they aren't!
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revrads · 11 months
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Adding to my Dougal propaganda; Reasons Why Father Dougal McGuire Qualifies as a Sad Priest
He was exiled by the diocese for an incident where he performed a Baptism that went wrong and “irreperably damaged” several nuns
He has no known relatives who are alive; His parents and uncle are dead
He was struck by lightning a few times as a kid and never taken to the hospital, also implied he never went to a hospital even when he’s sick
This also heavily implies his parents were either absent, already dead, or abusive
Doesn’t know the difference between fiction and reality therefore he’s easily manipulated
Literal saint, kind-hearted with no ill intention, the most loyal and the nicest character in the series yet usually treated poorly due to his lack of understanding of most things. He’s trying his very best, but sometimes his best isn’t enough and it gets into other people’s nerves which results in him getting yelled at, mostly by Ted (heavily implied to be autistic)
Survived getting hit by a car while riding a bike, wrongly arrested for shoplifting, stuck in a building fire, fell into a den of tigers and mauled (all of these are mentioned in the same episode)
Literally cannot feel physical pain; His arm was twisted and bitten yet he felt nothing
Acts as Ted’s moral compass constantly but fails as he’s so loyal and obedient to him
The only time he displayed negative emotions was when he was on the verge of tears when he thought Ted was leaving him behind in the final episode
Is terrified of women (gay? AroAce? perhaps)
Was almost killed because he wanted to help out the local milkman after revealing a scandal of one of their employees
Framed by his other best friend for a crime he wasn’t even aware of
Cannot perform a single mass or service alone without potentially killing several people (i.e. He tried to do a funeral and it ended up crashing the car onto the coffin and the car exploding, presumably killing the driver) (this is more funny than sad but imagine being a priest not able to do the one thing you’re supposed to do)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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thelov3lybookworm · 2 months
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As a slut for angst today “tolerate it” has been stuck on a loop and now I am imaging an angsty fic where Az just slowly begins to forget about reader and she threatens to leave but he doesn’t take her seriously and is so utterly destroyed when he comes back home and she’s gone…
Like I feel like it’s on brand with him and his duty to his job and whatnot. Plus the lyrics are so him coded “while you were out building worlds where was I” / “took this dagger in me and removed it” LIKE HELLO???
(But I also love a good happy ending so I feel like if azzy groveled hard enough… 👀)
Tolerate it.
Summary: She is fed up.
•○●⛦●○•
A/n: ehehehehehe angsttttt yummy yummyyyy
Enjoy!
•○🌑○•
Y/n laughed at Feyre's pathetic attempts at skipping the large puddle on the ground accumulated due to the rains that had Velaris freezing overnight.
Feyre failed miserably, her boots and leggings getting wet from the splash that signalled her downfall against the watery enemy of hers. But Feyre was not fazed. She simply laughed alongside Y/n, her eyes crinkling as the two of them made their way back to the river house.
It was visible already now, Y/n could even make out the grains in the wood of the door as it opened, and her brother in laws, along with her mate, spilled out.
Y/n could see from the corner of her eyes as her sister lit up at seeing her mate, her husband and the father of her child. The moment his eyes met her, she took off, her arms spread as she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. Rhysand did not hold back either, clutching Feyre to her chest with as much enthusiasm as she held him.
It made Y/n smile.
Y/n then glanced behind the embracing couple to her mate, the overwhelming urge to hug him too and to claim him in front of anyone watching making her start walking towards him without even realising.
Which was reckless, as the moment he realised she was walking towards him to hug him? He took a step back.
Y/n knew that he hated being affectionate in front of others, but this was cruel.
So to not get embarrassed by his rejection, Y/n turned swiftly towards Cassian, her other brother in law, who stood not too far from where Azriel did, and hugged him instead.
Cassian, Mother bless his heart, did not even question it.
He wrapped his arms around Y/n and literally lifted her off the ground, cackling when Y/n's fist made contact with his shoulder over and over again as she demanded to be put down.
Y/n had to stop herself from thinking back to that day. She did not want to relive the pain she had felt, the sadness and anger.
Y/n watched his eyes fluttering, wondering if he was dreaming. Wondering who he was dreaming about.
It definitely was not her, that was for sure.
Y/n, feeing a little sadness taking root in her heart, returned to the portrait in her hands, questioning if it would even be worth it finishing it up when he sure as hell wouldn't even acknowledge it. Or her.
Y/n glanced at the paint supplies she had placed on the coffee table next to her, having wanted to capture a moment of him letting his guard down, of him being vulnerable using her best paints, knowing he would not care.
She guessed living for as long as he had, life and the small things didn't matter as much anymore. Maybe that was why he loved to go on the missions Rhysand, Y/n's brother in law, gave him.
It probably gave him the thrill nothing else did anymore.
With Y/n's sister just having given birth to the starlight of the court, Rhys had become more and more protective, sending his brothers and anyone and everyone at his disposal to check and report about every trivial thing that made his primal mate and father side get protective.
Slowly, Y/n reached for the brush that rested in the cup half filled with coloured water, deciding to finish the half done portrait. If he did not care... she did not now what she would do then, but she did know she was tired of being tolerated by him.
But what could she even do? It was not like she could just up and leave.
Y/n blinked.
Or... could she?
Y/n shook her head, as if to dislodge the though, and with a sigh, she let herself get lost in the soft skill of painting her sister had taught her long ago, when staying up and huddling under worn blankets was the only thing bringing any warmth.
Trying not to think about the fact that the last time she remembered him caring for her, genuinely caring for her, was only when the two had been in their early stages of relation ship and the mating bond was a very new experience to a newly made fae Y/n, she continued using the soft and strong, long and short strokes to finish up her latest masterpiece.
Of course, Y/n never would call herself a creator of masterpieces, but any and all art that included her perfect mate was destined to be a masterpiece.
Time lost its meaning, and all that mattered was capturing the perfect angle for his eyes, nose, lips, shoulder.
Nothing existed but Y/n, her art, and her muse.
Nothing existed but the soft rise and fall of his back as he lay sprawled on his stomach, the effortless way his wings draped across the whole bed, taking up space three wingless fae could have slept in.
Where Y/n would have slept in, on days when everything had been filled with stars and dreams, wrapped under his warm wing like it were a living blanket.
When he pretended he was nothing, absolutely nothing but her mate. Her husband. Not a spymaster, not a shadowsinger, not a brother. Just her mate, her lover.
Those days were far gone now.
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Despite the fact that she knew he would most definitely not care, Y/n was excited.
And that was downplaying what she felt.
The wait was killing her, the amount of adrenaline in her bloodstream making her want to jump around to get rid of the energy that made her shiver, her limbs going cold and warm at the same time. She had to push her fists together and shove them between her thighs to keep them from shaking, which did not help at all.
So Y/n waited, her body clenched in anticipation as she stared at the doorway that led into the living room, a big grin on her face.
She glanced once at the sketchpad in front of her on the table, admiring her artwork for a moment.
She never liked whatever she made, always feeling like it lacked something. So for her to be excited to show off her art to her mate was a huge indication to how much she loved the portrait.
The familiar scuff of worn boots drew Y/n's attention, and she shot to her feet, pressing her fists to the back of her thighs.
It had become a habit of Azriel's, to purposefully make some noise before he stepped in view so as not to startle her with his appearance.
The action melted Y/n's heart every single time.
He stepped into view, as ethereal as the day Y/n had first seen him as a human, just as beautiful as he had looked that day as he tried to get comfortable on the small chair in the manor on the other side of the wall, just as loveable as that day when she had ended up losing her heart to the low born fae that should have intimated her.
He was fumbling with his armor, making sure it was all secured properly before he left for whatever mission Rhys assigned him for that day.
He glanced up just as he walked past Y/n to the kitchen counter, a small smile gracing his face before his attention was again diverted.
Y/n tried not to deflate at his lack of enthusiasm.
"Good morning love. Look-"
"Good morning Y/n." He cut her off, his voice void of emotions, as if he was tired of saying the same thing every morning and wanted to get it over with. He didn't even glance at Y/n as he said it, and Y/n pretended not to notice that he used her name instead of whatever endearing name he would have picked before.
"I will be on a scouting trip to Illyria, and after I have a meeting and dinner scheduled with Rhys and Cass, so I will be late coming home. Don't wait up."
Y/n's smile faded. "Don't wait up or stay out of my way?"
Azriel froze. "What?"
Y/n released a humourless laugh. "Nothing. Go have fun."
Azriel turned, giving her a hard look. "You know I would rather stay at home with you."
Doubtful.
Y/n so badly wanted to say it to his face, but she did not want to fight with him so early in the morning, so she sighed, smiled and nodded.
He started walking towards the door, and despite her anger, Y/n walked forward to kiss his cheek.
She did not miss how he recoiled.
Y/n masked the hurt before he could see it, and he gave her an awkward smile before he maneuvered to walk around her, careful not to brush against her.
Y/n watched him walk away, staring hard at the door even long after he'd left.
She then glanced at the portrait she had abandoned on the table, and, her heart hardening, turned away.
She was tired of having her love be tolerated, and she would not have it be that way anymore.
Either he accept her love the way it was, loud and clear, or he go find someone else.
And so, she turned, walked up the stairs to the bedchambers she shared with Azriel, and began to turn it back into just his bedchambers.
She would no longer be tolerated only because some godly entity thought she and him would make great, powerful kids and tied them together with a string.
She deserved to be cherished.
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Part 2
Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175
Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend
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redflagshipwriter · 4 days
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batmom Cass progress post
(masterpost)
Far Too Young: Cassandra Wayne, Teen Mother Debutante?
Danny cringed away from the headline on the newspaper sitting on the coffee table. “I am so sorry,” he said miserably. Someone must have reported on that first day in the city. Why'd they sit on the story for so long? That was the only time he'd been in public with Cass. So far, he'd only left Wayne Manor with Damian and Alfred to volunteer at the animal shelter.
Cass blinked up at him, from her perch on the back of the sofa. “Don't be,” she said. “It's fine. They will always talk.” Her face twitched into condescension. “It means nothing.” 
He wrung his hands because it really did look like something. She hadn't given him the article and he wasn't quite bold enough to request to read it. But it couldn't be nice. Even the headline was judgmental. 
“It would probably be for the best if we made a statement.” Grandfather Bat said out of nowhere.
Danny startled and jumped straight up. The chair creaked unhappily when he landed back on it.
“Brucedad,” Cass complained.
He huffed and held his hands up. “Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to startle anyone.”
Danny hunched a little more into his hoodie. Well. Tucker’s hoodie. It was way too big for Danny, especially after the weight he'd lost. But it was weirdly comforting. He fiddled with the sleeves.
“Cass, could we talk about it in my office?” Bruce said. His tone was calm and even. Danny sort of suspected it was for his benefit. “Danny, Damian is looking for you.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny let his heels drop off the chair, onto the carpet. “Yeah, okay. Where's he at?” 
Danny found his 13 year old uncle out in the barn with his cow. Danny hopped the wooden gate to go inside and sneezed at the dust in the air from dried hay. 
“Danny,” Damian acknowledged. He was brushing Batcow. “I hope that you are well this morning.” 
Danny made that weird white person smile-grimace where only his lips moved. “Good morning,” he said, instead of either lying or being a bummer. “Are we going to the shelter today?” 
Damian didn't pause. “Unfortunately, I have been told that it will not fit in Pennyworth’s schedule today,” he said primly. He dragged another long, precise stroke down Batcow’s fur, exactly lining up with his last stroke. Danny eyed his sure, confident motions. “Instead, I wondered if you would join me in a project in the barn. Have you any experience with wood working?”
“Nope.” Danny drifted a little closer. “Do you?”
“No.” Damian dropped to a crouch to take care of Batcow's hooves. “It is of no importance. We can overcome.” 
“Hell yeah, Uncle D,” Danny agreed genially. Why not? He shoved his hands in his pockets. “What are we making?”
“Storage shelving, for materials intended for art therapy.” Damian made one final brisk movement and rose in a smooth motion. He hung up the tools and brushed his hands off. Danny followed Damian as he started to leave.
“Art therapy?” Danny echoed curiously. “That's neat. For ….you?” He ventured. 
‘It’s for me,’ Danny thought wryly. ‘This 13 year old takes his responsibility as my Uncle seriously. He'll say it's for him, but want me there, and-’
“Of course not,” Damian scoffed. “It is for Jerry and Batcow. They have unresolved traumas.” He pulled the door shut behind them. “We will require lumber from the storage unit, as well as an assortment of power tools. I am disallowed from using them without the presence of someone who is taller than 5 feet, or older than 20.”
“That is awfully specific.” Danny eyed Damian suspiciously. “I'm not going to get in any trouble for this, right?” He followed even as Damian picked up the pace a little as they crossed the huge green lawn towards a shed. 
“Tt.” Damian tapped in a code at lightning speed and then hefted open the door. “No. You will be fine.” He said flatly. He stalked into the dark space. Danny followed and sneezed at the dusty interior. “Can you lift 50 pounds?” 
Danny sniggered. “Yeah, easily,” he said with confidence.
Damian hummed in the back of his throat. “Good. You shall be the beast of burden.” 
That was such a wild thing to say that Danny blinked twice while processing it. Beast of burden?!? Who said that?
“... I'm not sure I like that,” Danny teased. “Have you heard that I'm the baby?” He gestured at himself. Weedy as he was, he was still noticeably larger than Damian. 
“You should be proud,” Damian said in a dry tone. “to be such an accomplished baby. Here.” He pointed at a bundle of lumber. “I require this.” 
Danny was a burdened beast back and forth between the shed and the barn for three trips to assemble everything that Damian thought they would need. The preteen oversaw it all with perfect aplomb, dark eyes glittering as his plan started to come together. 
There was a learning curve. 
“That's why they say to measure twice and cut once, huh,” Danny observed. He pursed his lips at the board that was only about half an inch too short for their purpose. They couldn't like, glue or nail on a slight extension, could they?
“We shall throw this in the woods so that no one discovers our failure.” Damian lifted one side of the poorly cut plank and dragged it to the back of the barn into an unused stall. It dragged a line through the loose straw cushioning the floor. 
“He's so little,’ Danny thought hysterically. He could not laugh at Damian. He absolutely could not. The little guy took himself so seriously. Danny was actually shaking with the effort not to laugh or coo.
Damian seemed to have no idea. “For the moment I will store it out of sight here.” He let the plank fall to the ground from an inch or so and then shut the stall door. Danny watched with his head cocked to the side and a hand pressed over his lips to hide his grin. 
“We have two more excess planks.” Damian went back to business. 
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viennakarma · 21 days
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My dearest friend and enemy (2)
PART 2 | Fernando Alonso x Reader
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Summary: You and Fernando always dreamed of the day you'd get into Formula 1. Unfortunately, the competition, the pride and the stubborness, get in the way of a beautiful friendship.
Word count: 7.1k
Tags: female!reader, driver reader, coming of age, ups and downs of a friendship, brocedes coded, very very angsty, cursing, anger, fights, overuse of flavio briatore as a plot device, lots of low blows, sprinkles of romance, kissing, making out, happy ending, not beta read
Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Note: Someone requested this, with this very detailed request, and it has consumed my every thought for the past week or two. I had to tweak some things from the request here and there, hope it's ok. It's heavily inspired by brocedes. (There is a lot of info that is wrong or inaccurate, I did this on purpose to fit my narrative, if you catch them, please ignore)
I was wondering doing a bonus part about Fernando POV throughout everything (to show he was ALSO miserable), but I don't know if i have the time and energy for it. Let me know if you guys would be interested in it and I'll do it in headcanons/topics.
I'm sorry if it feels rushed, this was taking way too long and I just wanted to follow my heart. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx
Find me on Twitter!
PART 1 | FERNANDO'S HEADCANONS
You were moping and crying in the living room when the phone started ringing. Looking at the little screen that showed the number that was calling, you knew it was Fernando. You had memorized his number at some point in your lifetime. Your parents weren’t home, so you hesitated. You took so long that his call went to voicemail.
“I know you’re there,” he said, voice sounding tired, low and inpatient, “please pick up the-”
You pulled the phone cable, unplugging the call and silencing him. Wiping your tears, you stared at the unplugged phone on the little side table for what felt like hours, until your parents returned from work, when you got up to plug the phone back and pretend like you didn’t spend the whole day mourning a friendship you always thought would last forever.
After two days ignoring all calls, even Flavio’s, you decided that you’d shield yourself from now on, and you wouldn’t give Fernando any more ammo to hurt you. You met with Flavio at the next race, face heavy with makeup to cover up the sleepless nights you had gone through. You put your bag down and stared at Flavio across the table.
“Good morning. Let’s go back to work,” you said, gently pulling the stack of papers from his grasp. He called your name in that tone, of someone wanting a heart to heart.
“We should talk about the f-” He started but you cut him off.
“No, I don’t want to talk about that,” you said.
“I talked to Fernando and he-”
“I said, I don’t want to talk about it. He’s dead to me.” You repeated slowly, finally looking up at him. Flavio must’ve seen something in your eyes because he let the topic go.
You didn’t see Fernando for two more days, and when the weekend officially started, you avoided him like the plague. Even when you two were in the same place with other drivers, you’d ignore his existence for the most part. Whenever you were in a little circle chatting with other drivers and he arrived, you’d leave immediately. Press conference, you convinced Jenson to switch places with you so you could be as far from Fernando as possible. Even with team debriefs, with Flavio trying to make you talk to Fernando, you refused.
The rest of the season was insane, during team meetings and debriefs you were cold and barely talked to him. He didn’t try to talk to you either, and the silent distance only grew.
You were head to head in a race, you were P2 and Fernando P3 right behind you.
“Switch with Fernando,” your engineer said on the radio.
“He won’t fucking pass me,” you said into the radio, holding your position and pace. He was less than a second behind, and you refused to let him pass.
“I repeat, let him pass,” That was Flavio.
“If he manages to overtake me, he can go.”
He didn’t. You knew you had more pace, but still he insisted, and through the mirrors, you could see him closing in behind you. He tried to overtake but you pushed the car fast, and when he couldn’t anymore, he turned into you, touching his front right tyre to your rear left tyre. You were too fast. The mere touch of his tyre bursted yours. You couldn’t even get angry as you lost control of the car in a millisecond, the speed making your car fly into the air as it hit the gravel. With your car overturning a few times in the air, you watched your sight going ground, sky, ground, sky, ground, sky.
Then you blacked out.
When you woke up, you were on a stretcher being placed carefully inside the ambulance, you tried to get up, dizzy and someone handed you a bag where you threw up inside.
You had an insane headache as they took you to the medical center. Apparently, everything else was alright as you checked your own body for any injuries or problems. The doctor checked you but still made you through a round of tests and injected saline solution diluted with pain medicine in an IV drip. They also decided you’d stay overnight to make sure nothing was wrong. 
Your dad, who was watching from the garage, was the first to find you in the medical center, visibly worried and crying. He hugged you for a whole minute, before taking a step back and touching your face to make sure you were really alright.
“I’m ok, Papá. Just passed out when the car was spinning in the air,” You smiled softly, wanting to dissipate his worry.
“When you didn’t answer the radio-” He choked back tears.
“It’s ok, I’m ok now.”
“What are you feeling, darling?” He pressed, holding your hands to look for injuries in your arms.
“I’m all in one piece, Papá. Just a little sore, but that’s normal whenever a racing driver crashes,” you let him know, and he nodded.
“Let me just call your mother. She was so worried she wanted to get into the first flight here,” He told you.
“Tell her I’m alright and I love her,” you whispered and he nodded, going outside.
You sighed as you were left alone, trying to find a comfortable position where you didn’t have to move too much, since your whole body felt like it had been run over by a truck. The door opened and you thought it was Flavio, but you were faced with Fernando, still sweaty and in his overalls. He looked disheveled, but he was full of worry, even his eyes looked a little misty as he stood there a few meters from you.
But you couldn’t look past the anger when the memory of him diving into your car came back. He had gambled with your life, out of pettiness, out of envy, he couldn’t pass you, so he decided the next best thing was to take you out, not even caring about the danger he was putting you through.
“Leave.” You said, with gritted teeth.
“Please,” he begged with his voice softer than you had heard for almost a year, “let me just-”
“Leave! You could’ve gotten me killed, Fernando. Get out!” You said, louder. “Do you have any idea that you could have ruined my life in a moment of anger?! That you could have gotten me seriously injured or worse?! I would have never done that to you!” You pressed your index finger to the nurse button repeatedly, and a few seconds later, a nurse came in, “Ma’am can you escort him out please?”
You could see in his eyes that he was hurt by your words, but in that moment, all you felt was blind rage, for what he did the last time you spoke and because he crashed into you on purpose. You didn’t want to hear any excuses now that he realized he put your life in danger just because his ego couldn’t take a hit.
The next day, after you were discharged, you traveled for a meeting with Flavio at Renault’s headquarters. He met you alone in the meeting room, talking to you about the accident, and after making sure you were physically fine, he went off.
“What you did yesterday was reckless and you went against express orders from the team and from me. This is not happening again, or you will be risking your seat at Renault,” He said, his voice never leaving room for debate, you swallowed and nodded, “When the team orders you to do something, you do. No questioning, and no going against it. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Fernando was really worried about you yes-”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” You cut Flavio off.
“You two are best friends, it’s really sad to see you lose all that because of Formula 1” Flavio said, gently.
“He put my life at risk, Flavio. This is not something a friend would do,” you stood up, walking away but you stopped by the door, “Kinda curious how motorsports, the very thing that brought us together, is the same that tore us apart.”
Then you went to meet the engineers for the next race strategies. 
That night as you laid down at home, you thought that you’d never compete with Fernando solely because he was Flavio’s favorite. If it ever came to Flavio to decide whether you would win or Fernando would win, he’d always pick Fernando. You could’ve been fighting for the championship this year, he had promised you, instead you were being used as a step in Fernando’s path of glory, when you could be fairly racing him for the championship. You’d always come second to him there. That was also the moment you stopped seeing Flavio as a friend, and confined him back to a position of Team Principal.
You reread the Sauber proposal that came to you that year to start racing for them the next season, tempted to just go and make your name somewhere else. Somewhere where you’d be put first.
But deep down, a sense of indebtedness had rooted into your heart ever since the day Fernando told you the truth. You had to pay Flavio back for his trust and for his money, and the only way you thought you could do it was by becoming world champion under his team.
There was still a little kid inside you, a little kid who aspired to prove Fernando wrong, to become a champion and prove to yourself you’re more than him. More than who he wanted you to be, more than a loser.
You turned down the offer from Sauber.
The rest of the season you went almost robotically. You still gave your all every race, but your mood would always damper when you had to follow team orders.
“Ask if me and Fernando can switch, I’m faster!” You said on the radio. You kept driving, Fernando a little less than two seconds in front of you, but you were getting closer and would catch up to him in two laps.
“Negative, protect his position.”
“There’s a McLaren right behind me! They’ll pass us both!”
“Negative, team orders.”
You swallowed and held your position, trying to maintain your P2 and Fernando P1. But when the McLaren got close to you, they managed to pass you after a brief battle, going for Fernando a couple of laps later.
Later, you stood on the podium, looking ahead knowing that P3 could’ve been a P1 if they had let you fight for it. You didn’t look at Fernando on the other side of the podium, you just stood there, eyes watery. You pretended to take part throwing champagne for a few seconds, forcing a smile knowing that it would look bad not to.
The post race interviews were torture, and you wanted to go home and vent to your parents.
“How has it been to manage your friendship with Fernando outside the track?” A reporter asked, and your smile disappeared from your face.
“We were never really friends,” you shrugged, annoyed, you added “Are there any questions about racing instead of my personal life?” The reporter was silent, visibly taken aback by your responses, you had rarely been hostile toward a journalist before, you knew he would have a field day with just those replies, especially when your PR manager gave you a hard stare, “No? Thank you, see you around.”
You finished P2 in the race Fernando became champion for the second time. When you got out of the car, you watched as Flavio and Fernando hugged, jumping from the ground and celebrating. The number one and your team principal. After the podium ceremony, you didn’t bother to stay to spray champagne, just leaving and going straight out.
You got a couple more proposals from other teams, and you were tempted, until Flavio told you Fernando was leaving for McLaren the next year and offered you an extension. You took it under the condition to become the number one driver now that Fernando was out of the picture.
A part of you mourned the death of the dream, the one you had at fourteen to become teammates with your best friend. So many things had happened in between everything, now you would miss it. Only the good, not the bad and ugly. You wish you could go back in time, redo everything, and never allow yourself to lose your best friend on the way.
The next year you ended up striking an unexpected friendship with Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg and eventually the two rookies Lewis and Sebastian, who had been very vocal about being fans of yours.
You didn’t go back to talking with Fernando. You didn’t try and he didn’t either. It felt like the bridges were too far burned to recover.
One day as you walked out of the garage, you saw Fernando with a girl on the opposite side. She was clinging to his side, whispering. You knew he had his fair share of fun with grid girls but he never invited them to watch the race from his garage. You wondered if he was dating again, after a couple of years being nothing more than a player. You also wonder why it made a pang of pain flare through your chest.
You don’t linger too much. He had no reason to tell you. You weren’t even friends anymore.
You moved on, as much as you could. And eventually, you met Kaka, or Ricardo, as you preferred calling him. He was a footballer, a big name in the sport, playing for a big team in Italy. You actually met him at a gala party, the both of you being silly introverts, bumping into each other when trying to find a way out. You two ended up talking for hours on the balcony, watching the city lights.
He reminded you of Nano before Formula 1.
And you actually wanted to smash your own head against the handrail as you thought that.
After exchanging numbers and calling a couple of times, you managed to convince Ricardo to come to a Grand Prix. His presence was calm, funny without being mean, and so gentle. It was actually the calm between the storm your life and job was.
You were pacing around outside the motorhomes to try and see if he had arrived yet, since the last you had talked to him was when he was on his way. While waiting, your eyes found Fernando’s on the opposite side in front of McLaren, he was sitting down with his girlfriend telling him something. You stared at him for a whole minute, and for a brief moment, the anger left his eyes for something softer, something like-
“Hi, minha linda!” Ricardo showed up out of nowhere, and he hugged you so tight he actually swiped you off your feet.
Once the surprise passed, you hugged him back, your fingers finding their way through his hair. And he laughed, spinning you before putting you down. You talked for a bit, your face lit up as he told you about his day.
Your eyes unconsciously turned to Fernando, because you could feel that he had been staring at you for as long as Ricardo was there. His face was back to anger.
“You want me to give you the grand tour?” You offered, just so you could escape the weight of Fernando’s glare.
You took Ricardo by the hand and showed him all around, even introducing him to part of your team. After that race when you placed third, Ricardo invited you to a date, the first official one. After a couple of months and a few kisses, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You only hesitated for a second before smiling and squealing a yes.
Being the main driver of your team allowed you to live an entirely different season as a racer. You didn’t want to be arrogant, but you had it in the bag. You had the best car, the best engines, and just the perfect amount of boldness. Add insane strategies, and you were unstoppable.
Despite Fernando being your close rival on track, he was way too busy beefing with Lewis, his surprisingly great rookie teammate.
During summer break that year, you were on a trip to Brazil with Ricardo, but still, the night of July 29th, you got up at two a.m., slowly went to the fridge, where you got an ice cream pint. With a spoon, you sat on the handrail in the balcony, and watched the waves breaking on the beach a few meters away.
It was weird keeping the ice cream tradition alone, but you supposed it was even weirder not keeping the tradition. Staring at the stars, you wondered if Fernando had any ice cream to celebrate his birthday that day.
“Hi,” you heard Ricardo behind you, his hands sneaking around your middle and he hugged you from behind, laying his head against your shoulder, “everything ok?”
“Yeah, just wanted a little treat,” you mumbled, closing the lid on the ice cream, because a selfish part of you didn’t want to share the tradition with anyone other than Fernando. It was silly and stupid, and still… you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You put the ice cream back in the freezer and smiled at Ricardo as he pulled you into his arms and carried you back to bed.
You came back from summer break with a renewed sense of focus. Deep down you knew that was your season. Your season to become world champion, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. As you won the first two races after summer, you became first in the standings, this sense of purpose being the one thing motivating you every weekend to give your best.
It was Interlagos that year when you needed only a podium to become World Champion, pretty much the same as Fernando two years before. The race was tough, and it felt like Fernando was out to get you, especially in a moment right in the middle of the race, when you were behind him in P3 and he tried to brake test you again, but this time you were quick to react, avoiding his rear and using his own dirty trick against him, turning sharply to overtake him from outer side, moving past him fast enough to gain some precious couple of seconds.
After that, you managed to smoothly overtake the P1 with a carefully planned pit stop that allowed you to come out first. Later on, you saw a crash, nothing too bad, but you found out it was Fernando and Webber.
“Are they ok?” You asked via radio to your engineer.
“Yes, they are already back on the pitlane.”
You sighed and focused back to your race, keeping your P1 safe, and going smoothly to take the checkered flag.
“Congratulations, Y/N! You’re a Formula One World Champion!”
You felt the tears coming down and dampening your balaclava, as you took one last lap to parc ferme, waving at the crowd that went insane.
It was like a huge weight was lifted from your chest. Because you were now world champion. You were there, and you deserved to be there, among the best. You didn’t need to prove yourself anymore, and you had finally paid Flavio back.
You jumped out of the car straight into your team, jumping with them, and Flavio ran up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. Jenson also found you and hugged you firmly, patting your back and Nico also hugged you, both of them were on the podium with you.
As you looked down from the podium, with a watery, emotional smile, you saw your dad crying like a baby and clapping his hands. Unconsciously, your eyes looked for Fernando, silly hoping it mattered something to him, that at least in the name of your former friendship, he would be there, but he was nowhere to be seen, and you felt like that was another nail in the coffin of your friendship.
Deciding to forget it, you drank champagne straight from the bottle, laughing as both Nico and Jenson paired up to drown you in champagne, looking happy for you.
After talking to your mom on the phone, you stood up, taking your bag and going out to look for your dad. You didn’t make it very far, as you came out in the hallway, you found Fernando, leaning against the wall. You paused, looking up to him while your heartbeat went up.
“I’m happy for you,” he whispered. And you wanted to believe it really badly, but thinking about him brake testing you during the race, trying to take you out, made you roll your eyes at him.
“Sure, you are,” you said sarcastically. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, like he was disappointed you didn’t believe him, “my debt is over now.”
“What?” He frowned, confused.
“I just paid Flavio for his investment,” you explained, “I’m not just here because you asked him to support me, I’m a damn great driver. I’m here because I deserve it, not because you took me out of pity.”
Fernando stared at you completely shocked at your words, something painful stabbing at his chest. He never thought you’d think like that over disgusting words he said in a moment of anger. Words that never meant anything to him, that he didn’t even believe in himself. The hurt in your eyes was the same from the day he said the words, when you cried looking into his eyes and telling him he was dead to you.
You walked past him and away. He wanted to shout that he never meant those words, that you were so much more, so much better. But you just left. Fernando followed you outside, trying to catch you and explain himself, maybe fix things between you, making peace.
But as he got outside, he paused, seeing you jumping in your boyfriend’s arms, laughing at something he whispered to you. Fernando swallowed, closing his fist and jealousy burned through his limbs, with such force that it felt like a fever.
Right after the Brazilian Grand Prix, Ferrari got in touch with you, offering a two year contract to become teammates with Kimi Raikkonen and drive for what was one of, if not the most classic team in Formula 1. After negotiations, it was a no brainer. You didn’t owe Renault anything any more. And that’s what propelled you to meet with Flavio that winter break in a cafeteria in Monaco. When you had called, he said he wanted to talk to you about something, which was convenient.
After pleasantries and small talk, you were ready to start, but Flavio cut you off without noticing.
“I have to tell you something,” he started, carefully, “Fernando is coming back to Renault next year.”
You froze for a second, not wanting to think too much about the implications of that. The fact that Flavio was willing to force you and Fernando to be teammates again even after the catastrophic ending you had before. Sighing, you covered your face for a second.
“I know you have reservations, but I’ve talked with Fernando and he’s willing to-”
“I’m going to Ferrari.”
And Flavio understood, after talking for a while. He knew Ferrari was most drivers' ultimate dream, and you weren’t immune to that either. Unfortunately for you, Fernando released the news he was going back to Renault a week before Ferrari announced you, and the media had a field day with that, tabloids and media outlets doing numbers of articles about you avoiding being teammates with Fernando again, since he was coming back and you were conveniently leaving almost at the same time.
Your races with Fernando kept being dangerous, one always trying to one up the other, dangerous moves and overtakes, close calls of crashing into each other, and more and more jabs publicly. The attacks at each other never stopped, and the media seemed to enjoy it, feeding into it ever so often.
One occasion, you were going for a win, and the only thing between you and that damn P1 was Fernando Alonso. So you kept your P2, biding your time as you tried to close the gap, leaving your chance at overtaking for the last few laps. When a fast turn came, you advanced, overtaking him, Fernando tried to defend his position, but you were getting the lead, and both of you were in high speed. Someone had to back out, otherwise you two would crash. But you were feeding off of anger and hurt, and you didn’t back down well into the turn, but suddenly, Fernando slowed down, giving up defending. You took the P1 and after a few laps, the checkered flag. You knew on the podium that Fernando was seething, his face didn’t hide that. Later, at an interview, someone brought up the dirty move.
“So, a very dangerous move at turn 2 during lap 47, no?” The reporter asked, trying to get a reaction out of you.
“I thought it was a pretty common battle, no?” You said, a condescending tone imitating him.
“Well, it could’ve caused you both to crash.”
“I took a risk, either I would pass and win, or we would both crash and DNF. Alonso was wise and went for the safest option.” I gave the reporter a fake smile.
You knew that answer would piss Fernando off, and a part of you knew he deserved it. Sometimes you acted on pure rage and pettiness, feral and way more aggressive against Fernando on track than you really needed to be. But he just pissed you off. Walking around with his model girlfriend, his attacks at your racing abilities, his pretty eyes that always seemed to find yours at the most inconvenient times.
Then, the race weekend would end, and everything that was left was shame. Your burning shame every time your mom’s eyes shone when she asked about Fernando, hoping you two would have made peace. You, looking away from her face every time you told her you knew nothing about Alonso because you didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
Later that year, after your two year anniversary with Ricardo, you accidentally found a ring box in his suitcase. A proposal ring, a beautiful big diamond ring, probably worth a small fortune. And you tried to feel happy about it, but you could only find dread in your heart. Despite loving Ricardo, you knew you didn’t love him as much as you could. And certainly not as much as she loved you. You didn’t love him as much as you loved-
Closing your eyes, you also closed your heart, and after that just like the coward you were, you broke up with Ricardo the kindest way you could. He was confused, because your relationship was tranquil, without many problems. It broke your heart to break his heart, but you couldn’t lead him on, you knew Ricardo was husband material, and the earlier you let him go, the earlier he would find his true happiness.
Ultimately, you decided to only pursue love after your Formula One career. Having a bit of fun here and there, and a couple of casual relationships even with other drivers, but nothing serious or public. When you found out Fernando was single again, a flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but when you saw him go back to his playboy ways… It died down.
Sometimes you would dream of a different life, of one you never lost your best friend… or even better, one that you never had to suppress the love you felt for him. And sometimes it felt too much, like all this love was just filling up your hollow heart, filling up until it overflowed, until you felt like you were drowning in it, because there was nowhere for this love to go. And you wondered, what do I do with this love, there's no one to give it to, there's no recipient to put it. So you would just ground your teeth and bear it, holding onto anger because that much love, that much longing did nothing but cause you pain.
Every time someone mentioned him outside race weeks, you felt ashamed.
Despite being in a top team like Ferrari, you’d only get a few wins, and some podiums here and there, so it wasn’t like you didn’t achieve anything. But you were a woman so it was obviously not enough, and the media started questioning your career and your place in Formula One.
After two years of you driving for Ferrari, Domenicalli, your team principal, sat you down to let you know Fernando Alonso would be joining the team the next year, and you bit the inside of your cheek, considering just retiring. The criticism was getting to you, and the perspective of living hell with Fernando as your teammate was a broken heart all over again.
When an opportunity arose to drive for Red Bull Racing, with a two year contract, you didn’t think twice before accepting. It would be your chance to turn the tide in your career.
It sent the motorsport world into a frenzy when your new team announced you and a week later Ferrari announced Fernando as their future driver. The same narrative of you running away from him was passed ahead. And of course, it got to the paddock. Most drivers that were close to you actually congratulated you, but of course, nothing was ever good for Fernando. And despite not fully talking to him, he was always willing to throw a mean comment at you any given day.
“And people said you’re washed” Fernando said right after the news broke, the second to last race of that season, his voice dripping with venom. You knew it was a backhanded compliment, he always did that when he wanted to get a rise out of you. He smirked, waiting for your feral clapback, as you always had one on the tip of your tongue.
But when he looked back at you, your face was stony, and you were looking ahead with your chin raised. You didn’t even look at Fernando, nor answered his taunting. You pretended he wasn’t there but he noticed your eyes were misty.
That had been a low blow, even for him. He didn’t know shit about your feelings regarding your career, but he knew exactly how the world had been treating it, and it made you burn with shame that he could add insult to injury this easily. You wondered why he would say something like that if, just like you, it had been years since the last time he was champion of the world. Two years pushing yourself to the maximum so you could achieve your second championship.
Fernando had been your best friend for so long, he knew exactly what buttons to push when he wanted to hurt you.
When someone else arrived, greeting you, you cleared your throat briefly before answering and plastering a smile that never reached your eyes.
“Are you running away from me?” Fernando cornered you later that same day.
“What?” You paused.
“I went back to Renault and you left, now I’m going to Ferrari and you’re leaving,” he shrugged. You scoffed.
“I’m not sure if you know, but my life doesn’t revolve around you, Fernando.”
“Well, that’s a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”
“What do you want? Why are you here?”
Fernando paused for a second, his eyes searching yours, he looked vulnerable, open like he hadn’t been in so long. He looked every bit your best friend from years before.
“I miss you, I-” He started, then cleared his throat.
“I miss the old you,” You swallowed a whole bunch of your pride just to be able to say those words.
“Things are different now…” Fernando started, his eyes full of hoping, of longing, “We could- maybe we could-”
“Fernando, we’re too far gone, what we said- what we did…” You muttered, feeling a lump in your throat, “how do one come back from that?”
“We could restart. Try again-”
“You lost me forever that day, Fernando.” You muttered, the tears holding on to your eyelashes. You didn’t need to specify the day, he knew, he had seen in your eyes the moment he lost you, “I spent so long hearing your voice in my head, telling me I wasn’t good enough, I shouldn’t be here, and I- I hated you that day. And I had to hold onto this hate, because the alternative was overwhelming sadness.”
There was a numbing silence for a couple of minutes, as you stared down at your own feet, trying to stop all the feelings you spent years carefully locking away from breaking free. So much had happened, you believed you and Fernando were too far to recover now.
“I’m a woman here, the first and only woman in so long, and the whole world was against me. You have no idea how it felt that my best friend, the person I trusted the most, was also against me,” You shook your head, feeling the tears drop.
“I’m sorry, Nena… I’ve never- I’ve never meant any of that.” He muttered, and you didn’t look at him to see if he was being genuine. You had formed walls around your heart to protect yourself from heartbreak, and you now had a hard time believing him.
“There are some things… that are not meant to be.” You didn’t look back at Fernando after you said that, choosing to walk away with this broken heart feeling ever present.
It was hard to keep going everyday. You had always faced backlash for being a woman in Formula 1, and you were used to it. But the media took a turn over the next few years. When you didn’t win more championships, when years passed and you were still there, along with other champions and future champions. They started to call you old, washed, telling you to retire and placing bets on when you’d lose your seat. It was baffling because it had been six years since your championship, but it had been seven years since Fernando’s, but still, you were the only one whose spot was questioned all the time. It was unfair, and whenever they came up to you talking about it, you’d ask them if they’d ask the same to older drivers or other champions. They would leave you alone for a week and then come back stronger, ready to throw your whole career under the bus.
Finally, you got another chance at the championship in 2013, after an unbelievable start of the season with five consecutive wins. That had put you first in the standings for the championship, and from there on, your team molded the season around you. Smooth sailing through the season, you became world champion in Suzuka, way too far ahead in the championship to anyone be able to catch up to you.
When you stood on the podium that night, you cried happy tears. You had once again proved wrong years of demerit from the world. As you looked down to search for your family, your eyes found Fernando right beside them, a proud, emotional look on his face as he kept a hand over his heart, listening to your national anthem.
He nodded at you with a small smile, and a part of you healed a little bit.
You enjoyed a couple of days of pure bliss after becoming world champion. Parties, celebrations and trips, they were all you did for the next few weeks.
When the FIA Prize Giving ceremony came, you had another bombshell to drop at the world. You were the most stunning you ever felt that year when you arrived at the ceremony, in a beautiful dark blue dress with little crystals all over the bodice, a beautiful hairstyle and even more beautiful makeup. Never in your entire career in Formula 1, you had felt so fulfilled, so happy.
Hearing your name being called as the winner, the number one, was different this time, and had much more weight, and it made your heart burst with happiness. As you walked up the stairs to the stage, receiving your trophy, you stopped by the mic.
“Thank you so much. I’d like to thank my family for supporting me from the beginning, my team for making the perfect season, and the perfect car for me to be able to achieve this. I’d like to thank all my teammates that, in one way or another, taught me some valuable lessons as a racer. Thanks to Flavio for taking a chance on my career when probably no one else would.” You said, with a smile. You took a good look around, all the people in this sport who made Formula 1 the most important category of motorsport, all your peers, all the teams. “I’m announcing my retirement from Formula 1, as of right now.”
There was a wave of shock and loud gasps in the whole room, flashes and flashes bulbing harder than before, journalists scrambling to take notes… But you kept smiling, hand firm around your trophy as you let the news settle down before speaking again.
“In 2007 I wanted to pay Flavio back for giving me the opportunity to be here today. That debt was paid that same year. After that year I wanted to win for myself, to write my name in the history books, and my dream is now realized. I feel like I should move on and make space for new upcoming talents.” Your eyes were wet with unshed tears, but you smiled, the first genuine smile in a few years.
Fernando felt his heart drop at your words. Things weren’t supposed to go like this, you two should be best friends, drive together, retire together. Go down in history together.
“I’m grateful for everything this sport provided me, the adventures, traveling around the world, the people I met and the people I lost,” there was a calm pause, and Fernando wondered if you were talking about him too, “Now it’s time to go and achieve new dreams. Thank you very much.”
You turned around and walked away under the applause.
Later, after the ceremony was done, you were getting ready to leave when Fernando came to find you. He was dressed in a beautiful suit, looking like a million dollar man.
“Nena…”
It made you pause. It had been a while since he called you like that with that specific tone. 
“What? Came here to gloat?” You couldn’t help but be defensive, worried.
“What?”
“I knew you’d be one of the happiest when I retired.”
“No, I would not-”
“You would, Fernando. You did. Many times you said I was done, that my prime was over, that I should retire…” 
“I never thought you’d easily give up!” He shouted at you, “Like you did in 2006, not competing against me.”
“That’s because they didn’t let me compete! Do you think I couldn’t have competed with you back in ‘06? I could, but every time, they would tell me to back off, to let you pass, to not fight you, to not overtake you-” You threw at his face, because you wouldn’t stand there and let him look down on you like that. You refused to back down now that you were finally free. “Pat threatened my seat if disobeyed team orders.”
“What?! Why did you never tell me that?” Fernando looked shocked. His fighting stance was completely gone now.
“You were going to be World Champion again. I would never take that from you,” You whispered, voice failing.
“Nena…” He said, like he wanted to drop everything. “Please, don’t leave. If Red Bull don’t want you, you can find another spot with another team, we can think of something.”
“Fernando, I’m not leaving because the team doesn't want me. In fact, they offered me a 3 year extension.”
“That’s not how it was supposed to go, remember? We planned that-” His voice was kinder than it had been to you in many years, “We would go down in history together. Win together, retire together.”
“When push comes to shove, only one wins… We learned that the hard way.” I say, with a sad smile, “Life doesn’t always go as planned. And I got everything I could ever want from Formula 1. Now it’s time for new stuff.”
“What new stuff?”
“I want to have a family, Fernando. People don’t stick around long for this lifestyle, you know that-” You shook your head.
With one last look at Fernando, your eyes watered, and you walked away.
Sitting on the porch, you looked up at the sky, thinking of what’s next for you. It had been months since you announced your retirement from Formula 1. The new season had already begun. It was your birthday, a refreshing new one.
You heard steps coming closer and your heartbeat sped up as you saw Fernando walking up to you. He sat down by your side, holding a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He handed one to you and in silence, you started eating ice cream.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said after a few minutes of silence.
“Was it hard to find me?” You asked, with a tentative smile.
“It only took me my whole life to find you again…” He said, wistfully, his eyes shining under moonlight and you didn’t know if those were unshed tears or not, “my best friend, my nena, my girl…”
“I’ve always been here. Right here.” You said, eyes watering. You weren’t sure you could explain what that here meant, but somehow you knew he would understand.
Fernando took your hand, gently placing it on his chest, right above his heart.
“Right here,” he whispered, pressing his hand above yours, over his beating heart, “you were always here.”
Then, he kissed you. For the first time in more than a decade, for what felt like the first time for both of you. As his other hand pulled you closer, the kiss deepened, like a prayer and a promise. Both of you knew there was a lot of resentment to navigate through, and a lot of feelings you’d both have to unravel and understand. But there was one thing that was always there, through hate, anger and hurt… And it was love, unshaken, steadfast love.
As you broke apart, Fernando pulled you into him, hugging you tight for a few minutes, before pulling away to hold your face with both hands, his eyes looking into yours with so much devotion it melted everything away.
“We will be alright.”
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solarsturniolo · 2 months
Text
We're Just Friends // M.S. pt 4
by Nat 💋
read parts one, two, and three here!
Summary: Matt is so 'sweet best friend that secretly jerks off to your pictures' coded (idea credit to @heartstreet )
Tumblr media
Warnings: angst / smut / p in v / soft!dom matt? / unprotected sex / swearing / kinda depressing at the beginning
Disclaimer: THESE STORIES ARE FICTIONAL :)
text - reader
text - matt sturniolo
text - chris sturniolo
text - nick sturniolo
Word Count: 6871
Three weeks.
He went three weeks without speaking to her. Ever since that night, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to her. It replayed in his head like a broken record, he couldn’t get it to stop. The way she danced with him, the way she clung to him, the way she kissed him, all of which would have normally been more than enough to get him off at least a few times. But Matt hadn’t touched himself in those three weeks. He couldn’t. How could he even think about it when he just felt miserable?
“Matt, are you coming?” 
He groggily lifted his head from his pillow, his hair sticking out in awkward directions. He struggled to open his eyes as the light flooded in through his windows. Looking over his shoulder, he squinted at his brother standing in the doorway. “Huh?”
Chris furrowed his eyebrows. “The meeting? With Laura? Are you coming?” 
It took a moment for the question to register in his brain, but when it did he simply grunted and dropped his head back into the pillow. 
“Dude this isn’t good for you-“
“ ‘M just tired,” he grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillowcase as he buried his face deeper into the pillow. 
“You haven’t left your room in three days.”
Matt opened his eyes, looking over his shoulder at Chris again. “I-“
“Kitchen and bathroom don’t count. Bro, I’m seriously worried about you.”
Matt blinked in response. 
“I miss you,” Chris shrugged, not making eye contact with Matt. “I miss hanging out. You never hang out anymore. You’ll do a video then come hide back in here.” 
Matt sighed, slipping his arm out from under his tight bundle of blankets around him, rubbing his tired face. “I’m sorry, just been dealing with a lot.”
“Like what?”
“…Nothing.”
“Please talk to me, man.”
“You just…” Matt paused, wanting to find the nicest way possible to explain this to Chris. “You don’t take things seriously.” 
Chris shook his head immediately at Matt’s accusation. “I can tell when I need to take something seriously.“
Matt sighed. “Can we talk about it tonight? I just wanna sleep a little longer…”
Chris didn’t respond for a while. He wanted to talk about it now, he wanted to fix everything that his brother was going through. It pained him seeing Matt in a funk like this. The last time something like this happened was in junior year, and Chris never wanted a repeat of that for either of them. He didn’t want to leave Matt alone. If he could cancel the meeting entirely, he would. He would cancel it and lay in bed with his brother and wait however long he needed to talk. 
“I can’t cancel the meeting. Are…Are you gonna be alright?” Chris’s fingers picked at the chipped paint on the doorway. 
“I’ll be fine.” 
“You’ll call me if you need something?”
“Yeah, man. I’ll be alright.”
Chris nodded. The sound of Nick’s footsteps vibrated above them as he came down the stairs, walking around the corner and peeking into Matt’s room as well. “No luck?” 
“He’s tired.”
“He’s been ‘tired’ for the past fifteen days-“
Chris shot Nick a look. “He’s tired.” 
Nick nodded, getting the hint. “Gotcha. We’ll bring home some lunch, do you want anything?” 
Matt grunted softly. “I don’t care.”
“Alright,” Nick replied. It made his blood boil when Matt was short with him or moody, but he knew Matt didn’t mean to act this way. He was constantly stuck in his own head, constantly battling his thoughts, and it just so happened to be one of those periods. A temporary setback. Matt always bounced back, but it never failed to worry Chris and Nick nonetheless. “We’ll be home in a few hours. Love you.”
“Love you, Matt.”
“Love you,” Matt replied, letting his body relax again. He was beyond grateful that they weren’t trying to drag him out of bed this time around. He rolled over onto his favorite side and nuzzled back under the covers, letting his body drift back off to sleep. 
I really love you
I’ve always loved you.
The heat rose to his cheeks as her words played over and over again in his head. ‘I really love you, I’ve always loved you.’ Oh god, and she looked so pretty in his t-shirt. He could almost smell her perfume, the same scent she had worn for years. The same scent Matt grew to love. The scent he craved to get even the smallest whiff of whenever she was near. The scent that would get trapped in the fabric of his hoodies after she had borrowed them, which he refused to launder until the scent was gone entirely. Wisps of vanilla and rose petals that would infect him, his mind, his thoughts… 
Knock knock knock.
Matt groaned, closing his eyes tighter, hoping the sound would stop. Warmth enveloped his face as her soft hands cupped his face. Matt felt his heart pound against his chest. Her words were like heroin, he wanted more. He wanted to hear her talk to him for hours. Before he could even think of what to say, her lips pressed against his. He cupped her face, his lips moving slowly against hers as they shared a passionate kiss. She smelled sweet like candy, and her lips tasted like sugared lemon drops; her favorite lip balm, which quickly became Matt’s favorite as well. 
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. 
Ten more minutes. Please let me stay here for ten more minutes. 
Her hand caressed his cheek, their noses brushing together as she moved impossibly closer to him. Neither of them initiated for the kiss to deepen, though Matt wasn’t complaining in the slightest. This was enough for him. The tenderness, the passion, the love…it was more than enough for him. He pulled back for a moment, still close enough to feel her lips brush against his as she caught her breath. “I love you.”
BAM BAM BAM 
Matt huffed, opening his eyes once again. He groaned softly as he became suddenly aware of the tent in his boxers. Not even safe in my dreams. Rolling himself out of bed, Matt sat at the edge of his mattress, looking at his reflection in the mirror leaning against his wall. He had to admit, he was looking rough. His hair was a god awful mess, sticking out in awkward directions, his cowlick refusing to flatten when he ran his fingers through his hair. His cheeks were sunken, though it was hard to tell with his unkempt facial hair growing in. The bags under his eyes were dark, his lips were dry and cracked; he looked rough. 
BAM 
BAM
BAM
Those fucking assholes. Matt pulled on his pyjama pants, after adjusting his cock in his boxers, and stepped out of his room, hissing at the cold hardwood floor under his feet. He began to make his way to the front door, heading down the steps that led to their front entryway. “Fuck, you idiots have keys why can’t you ever fucking use them,” he grunted, unlocking the front door. “Why do I have to be the responsib-“ his voice caught in his throat as he swung the door open, his gaze landing on her. She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowing together as their eyes locked. 
“Oh…hi Matty.”
Matt swallowed his words, looking down at his feet, suddenly growing quiet. Matty. Even after all of this time, even after the long restless nights staring at his old messages with her, wanting nothing more than to call her and hear her gentle voice again, she addressed him by his nickname. The one he claimed to hate, though they both knew that wasn’t the case. Three weeks with no contact, and she treated him just the same as she had before. The question plagued his mind after the second day of ghosting her, wondering if she would be mad at him, wondering if she would treat him differently. How foolish of him. 
“Hey, kid,” he mumbled, his voice gravely and low. 
“Are…um…Nick and Chris here?” She asked. 
“You just missed them…They went to a meeting with Laura.”
“And you didn’t?” 
Matt shrugged his shoulders, leaning against the doorway. “I wasn’t feeling good,” he stated. Not necessarily a lie, he just knew he couldn’t explain the whole truth to her. 
“Why have you been ignoring me?” She asked him. Matt felt his heart drop into his stomach. She sniffled softly. His head snapped up and, suddenly, Matt’s behavior felt ridiculous to him. He had shut her out, he had pushed her away without even a second thought as to what she might feel or think. He examined her face; the same dark shadows under her eyes, the hollowing of her cheeks that now matched his. “Can I come in?” She tried to ask, but he heard the break in her voice. He saw her lip quiver as she spoke. He took note of her tugging at her sleeves in an attempt to distract herself from her emotional state. 
He wanted to scream, not at her but at himself. How could he have put her through this? It was selfish of him, to say the very least.
“Y-Yeah, of course,” he stepped aside, allowing her to walk past him into the house. “Um, I think Nick and Chris will be back fairly soon,” Matt explained to her as he shut the front door, locking it behind him out of habit. He turned to face her. “I’m sure they don’t mind you hanging out in one of their rooms or something,” he mumbled, his gaze never meeting hers. 
“Please look at me.”
Matt obliged, looking up to meet her eyes, almost as if he was waiting for the command to do it. He felt his mouth go dry, and suddenly all of the words he knew became a jumbled mess of unintelligible alphabet soup in his head. “You haven’t talked to me in weeks…Did…Did I do something to upset you?” She asked him, worry and sincerity clear in her tone. She spoke slowly, thoughtfully; she didn’t want to come off like she was accusing him of anything. 
“No,” Matt started, licking his dry lips as he looked at her. Even now, exhausted and clearly hurt by the situation at hand, she still looked beautiful. He could look at her all day and never grow tired of it. “You didn’t do anything to upset me.” He could feel his hands growing clammy, his hands balling into fists and slipping into his pockets. 
“I must’ve done something… I mean, it's been three weeks, Matt,” she whispered. 
Matt pursed his lips, his heart ramming against his chest. Without warning, Matt felt his eyes glossing over, his lip trembling. “I did something awful, and I…I fucking hate myself so much,” he rasped. He watched as her beautiful, encapsulating eyes widened. She stepped toward him, concern written across her face, her hand reaching out to touch his bicep. 
You’re disgusting, Matt. How could you put her through this? All for your own selfish benefit. What will she do when you tell her? She has every right to hate you. She’d be stupid not to. You’re a greedy, disgusting creep. 
“Matty? Talk to me.” Her voice wavered as she spoke. “Please?” Her hand grasped his bicep ever so gently, and Matt looked down at her. It was like she had turned a light on inside of him. The jumbled mess tangled in his brain became undone in seconds. He felt the world come to a standstill. He could breathe again.
He hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath.
With a sharp exhale, Matt pursed his lips; something that had become a habit of his. “You’re gonna hate me.”
She let out a soft laugh. “I could never hate you.”
Matt stayed quiet, looking down at the floor. It didn’t take long for her soft fingers to rest beneath his chin, gently lifting his head to meet her gaze once again. Matt could have melted as he basked in the beautiful light of her smile. He felt her hand slip upwards to cup his cheek, her soft fingers brushing against the gruff texture of his messy facial hair. “I’m sorry.”
“What? Sorry for what?” She asked, her words laced with confusion, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at him. “Matt, please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
Matt sighed. He pulled away from her touch and made his way up the stairs, her following close behind him. He went and took a seat on the couch in the living room, his elbows digging into his knees as he held his head in his hands. He wanted to tell her, she deserved to know. It wasn’t right for him to keep this from her…but God he was terrified to know what she’d think of him. The seat next to him sunk down as she took a seat beside him, gently rubbing his arm to soothe him. “Matt?”
“I…really like you,” he whispered. “Like, really like you.”
“Matt…I like you too-”
“No,” he shook his head. “I have liked you for fucking years and I’ve always pussied out of telling you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship if you didn’t feel the same way. I tried to ignore it for years, but…” he trailed off, taking a second to breathe. He needed to relax, to give himself time to put together exactly what he wanted to say and exactly how he wanted to say it. “I mean, I’ve liked you since middle school. I always thought you were funny and pretty and kind…Nick and Chris tried to set me up so many times so I could ask you out, but I just…I couldn’t do it.” He rubbed his face, his heart ramming against his chest from finally having the courage to tell her everything. After all of these years, his secret was out. “I never wanted to cut you off or ignore you, but after what you said that night-”
“What do you mean?” She asked, looking at him in confusion. “What did I say?” 
His heart stung a little. You don’t even remember…You don’t even remember telling me you loved me. Do you remember kissing me? Did it mean anything to you? Was it all just a drunken mistake to you? What am I thinking? Of course it meant nothing. I’m nothing, no one. “You said you loved me,” he replied simply, still refusing to make eye contact with her. 
“I…I said that?”
Matt nodded. “You kissed me, too.”
“I…I don’t even remember that…” she admitted. 
“That doesn’t surprise me, you were pretty drunk. I figured it was all just some drunken mistake,” he sighed. 
She shook her head, moving closer to his side. “Just because I was drunk doesn’t mean it was a mistake.”
“You don’t even remember it,” he reminded her. 
His heart stopped as her fingers gently traced his jaw, his head turning to meet her gaze. She was close, too close. He could smell her perfume, it made him feel dizzy just thinking about burying his face into her neck to drown himself in it. She looked deep into his eyes, Matt could have melted at the warmth in her gaze. “Help me remember,” she whispered, searching for any glimpse of hesitation or uncertainty in his eyes. He felt her lean in closer to him and he mirrored her, leaning in as well. 
“Are you sure?” He asked.
She didn’t respond, not verbally anyways. Her hand caressed his cheek, fingers brushing against his messy stubble. She closed the gap between them, her soft lips gently pressing against Matt’s. He felt his face heat up, warmth flooding his cheeks, she could surely feel it on her fingertips. He kissed her back slowly. Is this real? Please let this be real. If this is a dream, please let me stay here forever. 
Engulfed in a wave of passion, she pressed her free hand against his chest, her manicured nails gently grasping at the fabric of his shirt. Her head was swirling, her stomach churning as he cupped her face in his hands, their intimacy growing with each moment that passed by. He could hardly think straight, all he could focus on was her. The intoxicating scent of her perfume that had him feeling faint, the sweet taste of her lemon flavored lip balm, her soft skin caressing his; every thought he had was about her. It was always about her. 
He didn’t break the kiss for a second, he pulled her into him, his arms hooking around her and lifting her up as he rose to his feet. He smiled as she giggled into the kiss, humming softly against her lips. Matt felt her legs hook around his waist and he prayed that she couldn’t feel his erection pressing against her. He carried her swiftly to his bedroom, blindly shutting the door behind him with his foot. Tossing her onto his bed, a soft squeal escaped her and she looked up at him with her eyes that were sparkling with excitement. Matt crawled onto the bed, moving slowly, almost prowling like a predator, his arms resting on either side of her head to hold himself up above her. “I’m never letting you go again,” Matt mumbled softly, pressing a kiss to her soft sweet lips. 
She brought her hands up to his messy hair, tangling her fingers in the soft waves. “Don’t,” she murmured back, taking his bottom lip between her teeth. Matt groaned, the blood rushing to more than just his cheeks. He let his head fall into the crook of her neck at the feeling of her thigh lifting, his cock aching under the fabric of his thin pyjama pants. “F-Fuck, don’t do that.” He bit softly at her shoulder, sloppy open mouthed kisses trailing down to her collarbone. “I…I won’t be able to control it.” 
“I don’t want you to,” she breathed out.
Matt felt her thigh lift again, and he gave in. He rolled his hips, a low growl emitting from the back of his throat. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” he grunted against her skin, nipping softly at her neck once more. He felt her fingers tug at his hair and Matt looked up to meet her lustful gaze. “I do,” she argued. Her eyes flickered to his lips, and she licked hers in anticipation. Matt’s dick throbbed, he could feel the precum dampening the fabric of his boxers. You do. You know how long I’ve wanted this because you’ve wanted it to. You’ve wanted me.
Matt’s breath caught in his throat, his brain hardly having the time to keep up with everything that was happening. He gasped as she pushed him off of her, his back landing softly against the mattress. He watched in awe as she hooked her leg over his thighs, straddling his waist, the bulge in his pants being far from unnoticeable at this point. His eyes traced every inch of her body, his mind only being able to process how beautiful she looked. Her hair fell in dark waves over her shoulders, her skin glowed in the soft orange haze emitting from the LED strips taped to his ceiling. Reaching one hand up, Matt gently dragged his knuckle along her cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered, his fingers delicately tucking her hair behind her ear. His lips connected with hers again, pulling her body closer to his. 
Not bearing the thought of breaking the kiss, Matt blindly fumbled with the drawstrings of his pyjama pants. Sensing the desperation from him, she moved her hands down to his lap to assist his failing attempts. The soft graze of her fingers over his crotch made his cock jolt, his hips bucking forward as a whorish moan fell from his lips into her mouth. Her teeth gently nipped at his bottom lip as she kissed him, her confidence never faltering. Her soft hands slipped under the waistband of his pants. Matt was almost sure he was going to cum on the spot. Her fingers dragged slowly along the dick print in his boxers, and Matt found it very difficult to focus. She was so gentle. Matt could feel the warmth from her palm as her hand cupped him. His lips had trouble keeping up with hers. His mind flooded with adrenaline and dopamine. “I need you,” he exhaled, his nose brushing against hers, lips ghosting over her own. “Please, I’ve needed you for so long.”
She laughed softly. “How do you want me, Matty?”
“Just like this,” he whispered, pressing his lips softly to the corner of her mouth, kissing down to her jaw. He pulled her closer to him, groaning softly as her hips moved against his ever so slightly. “Please, I wanna see you. I wanna watch you,” he mumbled, his lips now pressed to the underside of her jaw, sucking softly at her skin. He dreamed of this for years; kissing her, marking her, letting everyone know that she was his. 
She gasped softly, her head falling to the side to allow Matt access to her neck. The softest of whines fell from her lips, doing nothing to ease Matt’s excitement. “Pretty, pretty girl,” he hummed, his voice coated thick with desire. His teeth nipped at her soft skin. His hands ran up her sides and swiftly over her chest. His fingers trembled as he hesitantly let his hands rest on the plush of her breasts. His breath felt hot against her skin, his rhythm faltered slightly. He stopped for a moment to admire her, looking up to meet her gaze. Matt swallowed his nerves, panting softly from the pure sensual intimacy. It was the furthest he had ever gone and it was driving him crazy. Twenty years old and it was the first time he had held a woman this close to him, the first time he had ever felt the weight of a woman’s breasts in his hands, the first time he had ever left a mark on someone. 
She could tell that he was nervous; she found it cute. His inexperience, his shy demeanor, his soft touches. It was driving her crazy. Her hands came down to rest on top of his, and almost immediately he went to pull away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, but was shocked when she grasped his wrists, bringing his hands back to her chest. His dick ached in his boxers, a feeling he was all too familiar with when it came to her. She closed the gap between them, leaning in and kissing him once more. His hands were steady now, his confidence boosted. A wave of courage surged through him, his hands squeezing her soft breasts as he kissed her. She hummed against his lips, a sound that he was still learning to get used to. 
His fingers tugged at the fabric of her shirt. “Please,” his voice muffled against her lips, afraid that if he pulled away it would all disappear. She didn’t need him to say anything more though, and she pulled away from the kiss for a moment, just long enough to pull her shirt off over her head and toss it blindly onto the floor of Matt’s bedroom. Matt’s hands cupped her breasts once again, grunting softly against her plump lips as his fingers came in contact with her bra. “You couldn’t make this easy for me, huh?” he breathed out, looking up through his enviously long eyelashes at her as his hands snaked behind her. She giggled softly, her own hands holding his shoulders to keep herself steady. “To be fair, I didn’t think we’d end up here. I thought you hated me,” she hummed. 
“I could never hate you,” he repeated her words from earlier, his large hands encompassing her breasts. She whimpered, pursing her lips. “I’ve loved you for too long to ever hate you.”
He pressed kisses to her chest, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her perfume. His fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. Any confidence he had built washed away as the clasp stayed clipped behind her. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried again to unclasp it but to no avail. He huffed in annoyance. “This is fucking stupid.”
“Need some help?” She laughed softly, reaching behind her and swiftly unclasping her bra. Matt ran his hands gently up to her shoulders, slipping the straps of her bra down her arms. He watched in awe as the fabric fell from her chest, revealing her perfect ample breasts. All he could do was stare for a solid minute, admiring her in every way possible. They were absolutely perfect. They were heavy but still somehow perky, her pink nipples hardened under his gaze. He licked his lips. She blushed as he stared at her, not used to the intimate tension between them. “Stop,” she whispered, bringing her hands up to hide her face, her arms covering her chest. Matt’s strong hands grasped her wrists delicately, pulling her hands away from her face. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’re just-”
“I know,” she sighed. 
Matt raised an eyebrow, seeing the way her expression changed. “I don’t think you do...” He let his gaze flicker down to her chest once again, a soft moan echoing at the back of his throat, his cock throbbing in his boxers. “Can I touch you?”
She took her bottom lip between her teeth, answering him with a single nod of her head. Her arms fall to her sides, allowing him access to her chest once again. He grazed her chest with his rough fingers, his thumb brushing over her hardened nipple. The sound she made was like a drug, he wanted it injected into his veins. He softly pinched her nipples, his palms cupping the weight of her chest. She watched him as soft moans fell from her lips, all she could think about was how badly she craved him. How badly she wanted him. Matt lifted her breasts ever so slightly before letting go of them, watching them fall back to their resting position. He reached behind him, tugging the hem of his shirt up over his head. He blindly tossed his shirt to the side, not caring where it landed. Once it was off of him, Matt pulled her body even closer to his, their chests pressing together. Matt cupped her cheek, kissing her hungrily. Their lips moved together passionately, synchronizing perfectly. 
She moaned softly, reaching between them and slipping her hand under the waistband of his pants. “So big, Matty,” she whispered softly against his lips, a shiver running down his spine as the warmth of her hand cupped him through his underwear once again. Jaw going slack, Matt let out yet another sound of bliss. He felt himself aching for her, aching to be inside of her. He needed it. He’d die without it. “I need you, Matt,” she admitted, stroking him at an agonizingly slow pace. His voice caught in his throat as he kissed her, his hands slipping from her waist to tug his pyjama bottoms down. He groaned, slipping his thumbs under the band of his pants and boxers, sliding them down to his thighs. His cock stood proudly, his tip red and swollen as his arousal leaked from his slit. 
She parted from the kiss for a moment, looking down at his lap. Her mouth watered at the sight of his erection. She couldn’t take her eyes off of it. He was big, at least seven or eight inches. He kept the hair trimmed and neat. He had the most perfect dick she had ever laid her eyes on. He took his cock in his large hand, stroking himself slowly as she watched him. Matt groaned again. “You did this,” he mumbled lowly. “You make me feel like this. Look at what you do to me.” He panted, coating his shaft with the precum leaking into his hand. “F-Fuck, I’m so tired of my hand, baby. Been wanting you for months.”
He watched as she shimmied out of her own shorts, kicking them off of her and onto the floor with the rest of their discarded clothes. She sat herself on his thighs, her fingers tracing over her heat through her panties. Matt practically drooled at the sight of her arousal pooling in her underwear. Her fingers circled over her clit slowly, her lip catching between her teeth. Matt fisted at his cock, his gaze never daring to tear away from her. He let out a shaky breath, his hair falling in front of his face, his swollen pink lips parting as whorish whines forced their way out of his throat. “You did this,” she copied. Sliding her nimble fingers over the patch of wetness her arousal had made. He groaned, licking his lips. He watched her breasts rise and fall with each breath she took, her plush thighs pressing against either side of his as she sat on his lap. Matt used his free hand to touch her waist, thumbing at her soft skin. Her eyelids were heavy, her eyes glossed over with desire and longing. 
Matt hesitated. He wanted to move forward, he wanted to continue. His nerves got the best of him though, and he froze. This was real. This was happening. And he had no idea how to move forward with it. Maybe I should have had sex before this, maybe then I wouldn’t be so awkward and nervous. What do I do now? Do I touch her? Do I kiss her again? 
As if she could sense it, she leaned in and kissed him softly. “Don’t think too much, you’re doing great,” she whispered. His heart swelled at her praiseful words. “I’m sorry-” he started, but she stopped him with another swift kiss on the lips. She pulled her underwear down and kicked them off, leaving herself bare in front of him. Matt kissed her back, bringing both of his hands down to her waist. She hummed against his lips, hooking her arms around his shoulders. 
Matt laid back against the pillows once more, pulling her hips toward him. “Let me taste you,” he hummed. “Please.”
She obliged, letting him maneuver her to exactly where he wanted her. Matt’s fingers dug into the plush skin of her thighs, pulling her hips down toward his face. She gasped, feeling the warmth of his tongue delicately lick a stripe up her heat. Her fingers knotted in his hair, her stomach lurching as she took a sharp inhale. A cocky smile tugged at his lips. Matt pressed a supple kiss to her clit, one of his hands sliding up her thigh. He flattened his tongue against her drooling pussy, moaning as her arousal coated his tongue. The taste was unlike anything he had ever experienced. She was sweet, like freshly picked cherries. Juicy and ripe with flavor. Matt licked another stripe through her folds, circling her clit gently with his tongue. His nose brushed softly against her pelvis. Every breath he took filled his lungs with the sweet scent of vanilla, his head was spinning as it infected his brain, encapsulating every thought of his. He flicked his tongue, earning a sweet mewl of pleasure from her. He did it again, receiving the same rewarding sound in return. 
Matt kissed her clit again, sucking ever so delicately. He felt her squirm above him and he slipped his hands up to her waist, holding her still. He flicked his tongue over her clit again and again, loving the beautiful sounds she made, the sounds that he made her make. He couldn’t hold back any longer, he needed to have her. He pulled her hips down to feel the weight of her on top of him. He shook his head slightly, burying his face between her thighs, his nose brushing against her bundle of nerves as he swirled his tongue experimentally between her folds. She gasped, rocking her hips against his face. Matt groaned, finding the sight above him almost pornographic. He had only dreamed of this moment more times than he could count. He had spent years studying, learning all of the things that women loved and hated. He wasn’t going to ruin his shot with her. 
“M-Matt,” she whined, running her fingers through his messy hair, pushing it out of his face. Matt hummed a soft ‘thank you’ against her, smirking when he got another moan from her in response. “Matty, feels so good,” she sighed, rolling her hips against his face again. He flattened his tongue against her heat. She let her head fall back, continuing to rock her hips to get herself off on his tongue. Matt may have been inexperienced, but he could have fooled her. 
“Please, I want you Matt,” she breathed out. “I need to feel you inside of me.”
Matt pressed a soft kiss to her clit one last time before releasing his iron grip on her waist, letting her lift her hips. She moved back to straddle his waist, Matt reaching between their bodies. He took ahold of his shaft, gently rubbing his tip through her soaked folds. She whined, lowering her hips. Matt groaned as his tip pressed against her entrance, breathing out sharply as it slipped through her folds again. “F-Fuck,” he grunted, his face flushed with heat. He tried again, lining himself up with her entrance. He choked out a flustered moan as it slipped again, his tip sliding over her clit. Matt felt like he could cry, embarrassed by his inexperience. 
“Nice and easy, baby,” she cooed, replacing his hand with her own and lining himself with her entrance once again. She slowly let her hips drop, and Matt gasped as he felt her sink down onto his shaft. His jaw went slack, shaky breaths falling from his lips. Her tight cunt swallowed his cock, a feeling that Matt had been dreaming of for years. He groaned as she took all of him, his hands grasping her waist tightly, fingers digging into her hip bones. “Holy f-fuck.”
“S-So big, Matty,” she exhaled. Matt looked down at where their bodies connected, swallowing the lump in his throat. He moved one of his hands to her lower abdomen, his fingers tracing over the very faint outline of his cock through her skin. “I-Is this supposed to…” he trailed off, pressing his hand softly against her abdomen, earning a high pitched whine from her. She lifted her hips, Matt watching in awe as she sunk back down onto him. 
She kept her pace slow and controlled, her pussy clenching around his cock with each rise and fall of her hips. He panted, desire coursing through him. He had never felt pleasure this satisfying before. Jerking off couldnt even begin to compare to this. He had dreamed of this, of what her pussy would feel like around him. It was even better than he could have imagined. The warmth, the tightness, her sounds. Matt whined, closing his eyes tightly. His head fell back against the pillows. He bucked his hips up, choking out a cry as the pleasure flooded through his body. His muscles tightened, his body trembled, his head felt cloudy. 
Matt took a second to catch his breath, and then he froze. He opened his eyes, looking up at her with guilt ridden eyes. There’s no fucking way…
“Did you just-”
Matt’s ears glowed red with embarrassment. He watched as she lifted her hips, his cock still erect and standing proudly as she raised herself off of him. Matt felt his stomach tighten as his cum oozed from her entrance, sliding down her thighs. He swallowed, his throat feeling unbelievably dry. There’s no fucking way I just came. It’s been, what? Five minutes? 
She looked at him with something in her eyes that he couldn’t describe. Was it disappointment? It had to be.
Matt sat upright, pulling her closer to him. He brushed her hair out of her face, his fingers touching her cheek. “No, no I’m not ready for this to be over,” he mumbled before kissing her hungrily. She let out a surprised moan, her hands coming up to cup his face. He reached between their bodies, lining himself up with her entrance yet again. 
He slipped into her with ease, groaning as he bottomed out almost immediately. He brought his large hands down to her ass, guiding her hips. She caught on, rocking her hips at the pace he had set. She moaned against his soft lips, feeling him fill her up with each slow sensual thrust. Matt lifted her up slightly, rolling both of them over so that she was laying beneath him, never pulling away from her for even a second. He held himself up by his forearms, burying himself deep inside of her. A mix between a groan and a growl escaped his throat, his hips bucking forward again to re-live the feeling. “Such a tight pussy, fuck, I knew you’d be tight for me.” He ducked his head down into her neck, sloppy kisses covering her skin . “F-Fuck, baby. Can’t blame me f-for cumming fast when you feel th-this good.” 
She whined, acknowledging his words though she couldn’t figure out what to say in response. Her head was clouded with thoughts of him. Her body trembled under his touch. She clenched around him with each thrust he made. She bit her lip, trying her best to hold back her sounds, but Matt wasn’t having it. He brought a hand to her cheek, his thumb running over her bottom lip, gently pulling it from where it was trapped between her teeth. “Let me hear you, princess.”
She looked up at him through her eyelashes, a sight that drove him crazy. He began thrusting a little faster, satisfaction feeding his ego when he heard her moans fall from her lips. “Atta girl, fuck you sound so pretty…look so pretty too,” he mumbled. He sharply bucked his hips forward, a pornographic moan escaping her. Matt grunted, repeating the action in a desperate attempt to hear it again. His hand slid down to her chest, his fingers tweaking her nipple just the way she liked it. He watched in amusement as she squirmed beneath him, whining and panting, a complete mess. 
His hips snapped forward, his reward being another whorish moan. He was obsessed with the way her ample tits bounced and recoiled with each thrust he made. The headboard began to rock into the wall, knocking against it. “I fucking love you,” he breathed out, burying his face into the crook of her neck. He bit and sucked at her skin, marking her with his lips. “You’re mine,” he growled, nipping at her neck. “Say it. Say you’re my girl.”
She nodded, opening her mouth to speak but only the soft sounds of her enjoyment answered him. He grunted, his arm wrapping around her back, pressing her body against his. “Say it.”
“Y-Yours,” she managed to squeak out. “I love you, I-I’m yours,” she replied. 
“Good girl,” he mumbled, thrusting into her again and again, his second orgasm building up inside of him. He felt her clench around his cock, his hips jolting forward. “Want you to cum for me,” he growled, sucking another mark into her skin as he rocked his hips into hers, burying his dick inside of her. 
She whined, reaching down between their bodies to rub her clit, her heart pounding, her blood pumping, her breathing growing rapid and uneven. Matt could tell that she was close, he had watched enough porn to know the signs. He felt a sense of pride, he had worried that he wouldn’t perform well his first time but it was proving to be the opposite. “Say my name,” Matt demanded. 
“M-Matt-”
“Again.”
“M-Mmph…” she whimpered, body tensing up as her orgasm began to wash over her. Matt grunted in her ear, roughly thrusting into her. “Say my name.”
“F-Fuck, Matt!” she cried out, a string of filthy moans following as she reached her high. Her thighs began to tremble, her body flooded with warmth. Matt groaned as she clenched around him again, and it was the last thing he needed to reach his own orgasm. Matt thrusted his hips a couple more times, riding out his high as he filled her with his load, his cum leaking out of her tight pussy and down his shaft. He breathed heavily as he came down from the euphoric feeling, lifting himself up to look down at her. 
She looked up at him with tired eyes, hazy and glossed over with desire. He stroked her cheek, his thumb gently running over her lips. She watched his gaze, no guy had ever looked at her like this before, especially after sex. His eyes held so much love and adoration. “I hope you know I’m never gonna be able to get over you.” 
She laughed softly, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Who said you’d need to?”
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a/n: trust me, im cooking. He didn't tell her the 'awful thing he did' for a reason.
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Tags: @flowerxbunnie @mattslolita @mattsbratt69 @oversturn @simplysturn @soursturniolo @megamett44-lover @cupidsword @sturnybabes @jjmaybankswifes-blog @plasticferal @liz-stxrn @sturniolosreads @sturnioloskies @bernardsleftbootycheek @egirlshit @matthemunch44 @nonamegirlxsturniolo @chrizz333 @sturniolopowers @mattsleftnipple03 @worldlxvlys @hearts4chris @tillies33ssss @janiellasblog @creamoncreamoncream2 @breeloveschris @meg-sturniolo @ellie-luvsfics @mattsfavwh3re @lustfulslxt @braindead4l @xtravrgnoliveoil @ghostlythinggoingaround @taekwite @rootbeerworshiper @leah-loves-lilies @querenciasturniolo @simplysturn
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g1rlken · 3 months
Text
⊹ ࣪˖Dreadful Birthdays⊹ ࣪˖
Felix catton x rich fem!reader
Word count: 3.3k
Warnings: angst, shitty father, death of a parent, hurt comfort, childhood trauma, curse words?
Summary: start of a friendship on a lie to umbrella issues with opening up, fluff?
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Standing outside, away from the party in a quieter atmosphere to attend a phone call in the small of the currently empty smoking zone garden outside the pub. Wearily y/n paced around in small steps as she talked on the phone, “But why?” She asked in distressed as voice on the other line seemed to reason something. “My break’s not that long I can’t come next month! You said-“ she was cut off with a reply on the call midway.
“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?” She argued yet a faint softness remained in her tone despite her frustration. “This is really unfair-you can’t do this to me last minute-“ the ongoing call was declined from the other like halfway through her sentence as she heard the monotone beep. She felt like throwing her phone on the ground, instead she kicked the metal vase instead. “Fucking arsehole!” She cursed to herself as a clearing of throat made her turn her head.
“Everything alright out here?” Felix asked her, he’d came out for a cigarette in the smoking zone but happened to listen the last of whatever ordeal she was going through with someone on the phone and seemed hugely upset about it.
“Oh-uh yeah.” She nodded hastily somewhat embarrassed he may have heard that and her swearing at the metal vase. Felix didn’t exactly know her, but y/n did. Like everyone’s dynamic with the ever so charming Felix.
“You’re..” he trailed off trying to remember her name because he did recognise her from some of their past meetings and he’d seen her around campus often, “Y/n? Yes y/n right? You were the TA last semester who returned assignments with stickers.” He mentioned and chuckled slightly.
“I’ve gained a reputation with the English majors?” She joked raising her brows with a small smile, surprised he remembered her.
“Rightfully so.” He nodded smiling, “I’m Felix.” He introduced himself lending out his hand for her to greet as she accepted but let out a huff.
“I know you.” She said in an obvious tone and reciprocated the smile on his face.
“So who was the fucking arsehole on the phone?” Felix inquired curiously given she didn’t seem so composed just a few moments ago.
“Oh that-“ she paused taking in a deep breath for a second, she contemplated a whole coursework worth of thoughts and stories on wether or not to tell him the truth. “It’s was my boyfriend…” she trailed off, lying. “Stupid argument.” She added feeling awfully strange what it was that came over her to outrightly lie.
“What happened?” He asked, now interested as he leaned by the table and lit a cigarette offering her the second puff.
She took him up on the offer for his cigarette as she took a moment to think through her supposed lie “It’s nothing huge really…” she said trying to downplay is so he would maybe not be interested in it.
“Come on, honour the cig.” He urged her with his charm as she took another drag and retuned his cigarette to him.
Coming up with a hastily put together story, “I’m long distance with my boyfriend currently, he’s uh studying code in Estonia and he was coming here so we could spend the summer break together” she sighed. “But he signed up on a project there and bailed on me last minute.” She briefed him feeling proud and miserable of herself for having a peculiar story like that right off the top of her head.
“What an arsehole indeed” he replied matching her frustration as he scoffed “How dare he sign up a stupid project with a girlfriend as pretty as you?” Felix gave her his chivalrous smile, knowingly flirting with her but her boyfriend was a douche so it was alright.
“How awfully kind of you.” Y/n said playfully rolling her eyes at him as their night progressed in dumb conversations of here and there it was 4 in the morning by the time the pub waiter asked them to leave. They talked until sunrise and that is how y/n befriended Felix.
Despite the lie that the actual phone conversation was with her father and not a fake boyfriend in Estonia like she told him, “Then you can fly in for the weekend after this month, we’ve got a big launch for the company and if you’re here then the PR team will want you at the inauguration and I don’t want that. I don’t want you around on big company occasions, too much trouble as it is.” Her father said sternly on the phone, the rich were shallower than it seemed.
“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?”
“Stop being so dramatic and grow up for a second” he told her off sighing, “You are not wanted here. You can’t come home now, I don’t want you to be associated with the company whatsoever. I don’t want the ‘dad’ rep on me with you. Simple as that.” He said to her harshly as he pronounced the word you in an exaggeratedly disgusted sense. As she tried to whine more about how unfair it was to her last minute he simply declined the call not wanting to handle any more of her tantrums.
-
Those two weeks of her friendship with felix blossomed and proved to be rather wholesome. Y/n was genuinely glad for his company, the charm of him could never make one feel unwanted. Felix hated not having his new friend for all of summer, it took quite a lot of convincing and begging on his side to get her to come to saltburn with him. Firstly y/n was really unsure if she could do so given they had been friends for just two weeks despite the closeness of their bond. Secondly if her father found out about her rendezvous, not that he’d care whatever she was upto but he would be mad if it could somehow bring a bad light upon him. Which in itself was a rare case because as felix stated his estate was in a remote place and she felt she could live her summer on her terms.
“You are crushing my eyes!” She exclaimed giggling as felix tightly held his palm over her eyes and his other hand guiding her through the large hallway to the decorated living room, for her. It was a well planed surprise so he didn’t want her looking through the gaps of her fingers at the last moment before the whole thing.
“Just a second” He told her as y/n felt him guiding her into a room where the conversations silenced themselves when he entered with her. Finally he pulled his hand away and held her from her shoulders. “Surprise!” The entire room echoed as confetti spread across the elegant happy birthday decorations. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out if you didn’t tell me?!” He exclaimed laughing as leaned forward from behind her and wrapped his arm around her.
Y/n was overcome with emotions as everyone cheered on happy birthday and surprise, Farleigh still bursting the confetti cracker. Felix attempted to walk across the room to take the covered plate from his hands,“How’d you know?” She held his wrist to stop him and asked him, hugely struck with the surprise.
“Your TA, I-card which you wore around like a badge of honour, it had your birth date mentioned.” He told her as he laughed and gave her a side hug when Elspeth approached her. Felix paced away for a moment to get the cake from Duncan.
“Felix shall throw you a godawful themed party or so later but I wanted to cherish you in a more traditional manner.” She said warmly as she held her by her face and kissed her forehead, the traditionalism of birthdays was long lost with the children growing up into party animals however the grand hall could have used a soft and sober gathering of the occasion of a birthday. Besides she really liked y/n, amongst all of felix’s wild friends she was awfully gorgeous and tender of heart.
“Thank you-“ Was all she could reply, extremely overwhelmed at this moment. “Really-“ she added feeling her gratitude shortening but nobody in this room would realise how big this was for her. She was soon pulled away with all the birthday hugs and warm wishes, a room full of people..gathering at 12 to celebrate her? With her? This was the hardest breakdown she had ever had to fight back.
Venetia pulled her to the table where Felix rearranged the candles on her cake for the final time. The sight of the cake with her name, the hugs she was receiving. She couldn’t hold it in anymore as tears brimmed her eyes. “Hey” Felix noticed as he leaned a bit lower to look at her eyes when she looked away confirming tears welled up her eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh, it was adorable to note how sensitive she was. “Hey…come here!” He pulled her into his embrace with his arms holding her from the side.
“Come on!” Venetia laughed along as she fixed y/n’s hair “don’t cry, you want your pictures perfect.” She said trying to cheer her up.
“God I’m sorry-“ she said shaking her head and pulled away from felix’s embrace as they sat next to each other by her birthday cake and everyone around them, “I’m just—I’m really touched by this, I-I don’t think I can come up with words that could hold my gratitude right now…” she said through her tears as felix chuckled wiping them “Truly, this means the world to me-you’ve all shown me such affection and-I-“
“By the time you finish that speech we’re all going to be in dentures” Farleigh said growing impatient and received an elbow via Venetia.
“Im sorry-this is just very thoughtful of everybody…” y/n said with a chuckle as she wiped her tears yet the hurt in heart where they came from lingered alongside the joy of such experience.
“Blow the candles!” Felix encouraged as he rubbed her back. She was about to when she was urged to make a wish. Closing her eyes with a big smile on her face she did so and the celebration furthered. Just another cake cutting at saltburn was going to be the most treasured memory for y/n.
-
Later that night, almost two in the morning the birthday giggles hadn’t yet died down as y/n lounged with felix in her guest room. She sat legs crossed by the stone bay window as the moonlight reflected through the room. “You really love that cake don’t you?” Felix commented leaning back on the chair across her as he laughed.
“It’s my birthday cake!” She exclaimed emphasising on the word my. It was as it is her third plate of the night.
“Whatever the birthday girl wants.” Felix said chuckling and remembered “Hey has our Mr.Arsehole called yet?” He asked and leaned backwards to look at the time on the clock, as her boyfriend he should’ve called her when the clock struck midnight.
Her face fell at the mention of it, she was planning to tell him sooner or later that she made that up. But she was looking to end that facade at a better time, it had been over a month now searching for that better time. She couldn’t keep her best friend in the dark like this. “Look I have to tell you something about that…”
“You guys broke up?” He asked almost instantly as if he was hoping for it however he kept his tone neutrally curious.
“I don’t have a boyfriend who’s studying in Estonia” she breathed as she sat her plate aside “I-I made that up when we met.” Felix was dumbfounded for a second he couldn’t wrap his head around what she was trying to say. “Look…when we met I just wanted to seem like an interesting person to you I didn’t think we’d become friends like this-“
“And this whole time you didn’t think you should tell me?” He inquired sternly as a frown fell on his face. Felix felt as enraged as he did hurt, “I’d never have considered you to be a two faced person like that!” He scorned standing up from his seat to account for his frustration.
“I’m not!” Exclaiming she replied sensing the rightful hurt and anger radiating off of him, “Felix, seriously I was planning to tell you about this.”
“When? When were you planning to tell me huh?” He asked as he rested his hands on his waist demanding an answer.
She didn’t have an answer for that because she knew this conversation would lead a follow up conversation which would require her to explain about her father to him, that situation is what she was running from. “I..I am sorry felix.” She said. She felt awful not being able to say ‘hear me out.’ Because he so clearly wanted to, he wanted the rational explanation she had but couldn’t tell him.
“Sorry?” He scoffed looking away for a second, “Who was it then? On the phone that night?” He seethed and waited for her to reply, everything within him begged for her to come up with an explanation which would make his feelings for her warranted for again. He had those this entire time, he’d known her boyfriend and her would eventually break up. He was looking forward to this moment ever since he met her but this was the most unideal situation.
Y/n’s silence agitated him even more so, he couldn’t stomach he’d have to let go off his feelings for her. It had been a long while he’d felt like this for someone, this deeply and unwaveringly and he could feel his heart having to say goodbye to it all soon enough and he hated that she couldn’t even reply or meet his gaze. “You owe me an explanation y/n! Just tell me who was on the phone.”
Her gaze as fixated on the floor as she felt the world crumble around her, it felt like standing in the ruins. She created herself, the pattern wasn’t unknown to her. “It was my father.” She told him, however much she wanted to lie with something else she felt like she’d reached a dead end. “I’m not on the best terms with him” and I didn’t want you to see me as another spoilt brat that night, I didn’t want you to think I’m another awful ungrateful child, I didn’t want to open up then as I don’t now.
“And? How so” He asked, it felt like he had to push it out of her to speak but he would, with two strides he reached upto her seat and held her face in his hands, “I am not asking a lot of you am I? Why are you doing this to me? I want your hurt and your truth as raw as it is, I want it as I want all of you, fairly I deserve it. Please. Please talk to me y/n.” Tears brimmed her eyes as she held his hands in hers and pulled them away from her face. The desperation in his voice made it worse as she stood out of her seat.
“I was..I was supposed to go home, back to New York for summer. But my father cancelled it last moment.” She told him with a sigh turning slightly to the side from him, she could not say this to his face without breaking down. Opening up felt like being knifed from the inside. “And I was talking to him about it on the phone, I just didn’t want to tell you then.”
“Why did he cancel it?” He asked and moved her to face him.
By now she realise she couldn’t beat around the bush this way, he wouldn’t move past this and she couldn’t lie now “He said I’m not wanted back home.” She told him redirecting her father’s words. “He had a big launch for the company, it’s bad PR for him and he doesn’t like me around on big occasions.”
“What about your mum?” He asked softly and noticed how she felt silent to muster up proper words.
“My mum’s not—“ y/n breathed “she died giving birth to me. Labor complications at the hospital” she said as mildly as she could, this was her truth, the loss that defined her and it was strange how it hurt the same narrating it each time.
Felix was speechless as his gaze softened it took a lot in him to fathom her grief because she never looked it, “that’s why you got emotional back there, with the surprise.” He thought out loud.
“Yeah my dad forbade it…celebrating my birthday.” She mentioned, she’d grown up to digest it too. Who would deserve a celebration on the day their mother died?
“What about as a child?” He asked really shocked, he got the idea she was emotional and probably didn’t have the best birthdays but absolutely none?
“Not really, my nanny would get me cupcakes with candles till I was six and I was a sheltered kid so that was an ideal birthday to me” she said plainly “But I was-I think I turned 11, the house help with our kitchen staff organised me a small party it was on the kitchen table, balloons and chocolate cake…but my dad got home early that day, he tore down the happy birthday banner, threw the cake and the gifts, fired the staff and I was grounded, I haven’t really celebrated since.”
“At eleven?” He said taking in a sharp breath, it was more than a difficult life for a child to grow up without their mother and have a father like hers. “That’s just cruel”
“My birthday is a dreadful day for him, he loved my mum very much” she said trying to give him the reasoning she gave herself. Both of them were sitting on the floor cross legged leaning by the wall.
“You were a child. He resents your birthday’s enigma in the shadow of his grief.” Felix told her.
“He was a different man once, before me” she tried explaining it to him, despite of how resentful her father was to her how uncaring she wanted to be at the end of the day it was the only parent and only family she’d known all her life. Even her father yelling at her was the sound of her home. “The enigma of my birthday..” she repeated his words with a dejected huff “won’t change the fact that I’m the reason his wife isn’t in this world.”
Felix personally took an offence in that. Her father’s indifference had seeped that poison into her “Absolutely not.” He told her sternly and took her hands in his, “none of it was your fault. You didn’t ask to be born, but as his daughter you’re his daughter. His blood. He treats you with resentment that is a lack in his character. With the loss of his wife he also gained you…a daughter he was supposed to cherish.” He told her what she had to hear but he didn’t mean for her to cry again, opening up was difficult enough for her as it is. Enlacing his arms around her he pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back as she wept in his arms. Soothing sweet nothings he kissed the top of her head rocking her back and forth. “The world gained one of the purest souls with you.” He told her and pulled away to look at her face. Her eyes were full of tears as he wiped them again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “and if it wasn’t for you I’d have never felt this deeply for anyone.” He told her as it warmed her heart with all the pain through it and in his arms, for now, the world seemed just fine.
HIIII this is a new acc and English isn’t my first language also I’m a struggling stem major who writes to get over a bad test, pls be kind🙏
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND GO DRINK WATER NOW
407 notes · View notes
Note
just thought of something random — shower thoughts. So, you know how even if you score 0 on twistunes it still counts as “clearing it”? Imagine you doing that with a self aware au. to make it funny, how about riddle, Vil, and Sebek
Self-aware au
I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, self-destructive behavior, violence, abusive behavior, unhealthy lifestyle, murder, religion, obsessive themes
Riddle Rosehearts/Vil Schoenheit/Sebek Zigvolt-Scoring 0 whilst playing Twistunes
Here you are, our (perhaps) determined twistunes player, usually (or maybe not) trying your best
And that is fine and dandy and lalala happy happy
The TWST cast, however, doesn't see the twistunes as rhythm mini games though
For them, you are guiding them in some sort of task, not hearing the huge orchestra that appeared out of nowhere
There is always your guiding hand, reassuring that things go right even when a certain feline (*cough* not looking at you Grim*cough*) decides to act all high and mighty
Until, one day, there you are not helping anymore
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Another splendid day to do your most splendid bidding... in the form of baking a cake
Yeah, I know, what daunting task you have layed upon him!
But he know he doesn't need to worry. After all, you are there to help him (not like his magic could do that for him in one second I mean come on there has to be a spell to crack some eggs and spill some milk ISN'T SLEEPING BEAUTY CANON OVER THERE??!)
He picks up the whisk... and nothing
Ok... maybe you just weren't looking! So he puts it down and then picks it up again
Nothing… Aren't you funny! Messing with him like that… (No pls help he is dying on the inside has he broken a rule? He followed rule 199 perfectly, wear blue if you need to whisk eggs)
One second later and he is panicking
This is a test, right?
If you could look through the coding on the other side you would see a panicking riddle who is this close to setting the kitchen on fire
At least that is the case until Trey finally steps in and decides to help his childhood friend out
After everything is finally over, Riddle is panicking
He has lost your favor, you didn't help him with this mighty task: shoving dough into an oven
Riddle will without any question learn how to bake cakes
Heartslabyul will eat salty snacks after dinner for a while but ok, unlike other things Riddle has done in your name this is rather tame
That does not mean he is kind to himself though
He will deprive himself of anything that makes him happy. Whether that is cake or his precious time with his friends
Sooner than later he is once more the red tyrant on his throne, “chopping” heads off all the time once more.
But everything but imperfection for you
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Vil was just practicing dancing for that competition again
He took great pride in being guided by you
After all, who could say they were being taught dancing by the personification of perfection itself? (Although he was surprised that you knew modern dances, most of the time you were pictured in more traditional and old-fashioned settings)
Until suddenly you didn't guide him anymore
And thus, the floor and Vils face became very good acquaintances (You could hear Rook screaming from somewhere "Pas le visage!")
On that day Vil learned that your guidance had one up and downside
The up was, he always danced perfectly. The down, he forgot how to do it on his own
Now, we are talking about mister I-have-at-least-500-Thaumarks-on-my-face-in-makeup
So of course he is going overboard immediately
"Oh how nice, Vil Schoenheit is practicing"- No. This guy has gotten a warning from his doctor that he needs to stop because otherwise his legs could sustain damage from so much training
Epel? Well Epel is living in hell right now. Poor little apple gets the full brunt of his frustration
Overall, Vil gets toxic, and I don't mean just toxic but toxic toxic, but what about his more private life?
Well, he is just miserable, and horrible to himself, but most of all miserable
He turns back to his self before his overblot, being unnervingly perfect, having absolutely no chill when it's about being his best self
But there has to be a reason why you have abandoned him. You are his muse, the reason why he forced Epel into a routine that can only be described with "uh... help?"
But enough excuses! He had his salad and now he needs to train. His doctor? Well his doctor doesn't want to achieve being close to you so what does he know
(He got send into the hospital with a broken leg later that day. Talk about self-destructive behavior)
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(ouch, my ears)
Let's assume that Sebek gets a twistune in which he practices his skills with the sword
He thought you were proud of him, you helping him to become stronger so he could fulfill your bidding (well-seasoned yandere readers what I mean)
Then, he felt your guidance slipping like the sword now sticking dangerously close to his foot in the ground
Many screams, one description: panic
When Lilia heard the not so crocodile-y crocodile scream bloody murder on the outside he thought that someone just didn't speak fondly enough for Sebek about Malleus
So wannabe Batman was more than surprised when he learned that you just “abandoned” his student
This leads to now, Sebek sitting in front of the small altar he has in his room (a trademark of Valley of Roses students)
Seek isn't Malleus (I know, shockers) so there isn't gold
But what if there is something different he can offer you? You left him when he was using his sword so could you want… (No Sebek, no, stop it)
Suddenly disappearances happen all over the school
Weirdly, they seem mostly from Sunset Savanna or the Shaftlands… the two places where you are least seen as an alrighty ruler/God and more as an inspiration
Such a shame that the officer hired to look into this was also from the Shaftlands. Guess that adds to the pile of disappearances
All whilst this is happening Sebek is busy cleaning his clothing and sword. Can't be dirty when he prays to you
With hope in his voice he tells you about his deeds but why aren't you coming back? Is it not enough? It's not.. enough…
This world is filthy, he says. This world needs to be cleaned of the pests that don't show you the loyalty and respect, he says.
But what do you say? Exactly. Nothing.
597 notes · View notes
gyuswhore · 10 months
Text
Pure Math 171
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choi seungcheol x reader
wc: 2.5k
genre: fluff, humour
warnings: math. (1) dirty joke. thats it i think (lmk if there's more)
synopsis: Walking into the first class of the semester shouldn't have been as eventful as it was (not that you can complain for long)
masterlist
(A/N): I haven't posted a fic in a while so i hope i redeem myself with this one hehe. a million thank yous to @toruro for beta-ing for me (even at the dentists lol) you can thank her for this too shes the reason i finished so quickly kjvkdfjg
It takes a lot to surprise you. 
It’s not that you enjoy it, but your friends simply make it easy to read them. It took Soonyoung seven human years to learn the art of surprise birthday parties. You know, the ones where you aren’t supposed to know he’s throwing a party just for you. Or Minghao, before he learned the art of deceit, and held his disdain like a badge on his face. 
You seem to have honed the skill of psychics better than most, confident in your ability as a higher-risk party trick. 
Skipping into the new semester at uni, you enter your lecture hall at the reasonable hour of 8 in the morning, expecting nothing but the usual. No surprises were to come your way today, just another first day back, fueling for the coming months.
You push the doors of your lecture hall open, ready to greet your professor for Pure Mathematics 171, pushing your spirits high to commence your per semester buttering. What you find though, is the front desk crowded with students wanting to do the exact same, all for the professor that would be teaching the most dreaded unit of the course. Of course. 
You spot Soonyoung among the crowd as he spots you at the door as well. You note how gleeful he looks at this hour. This can’t be good. Hao too presses his mouth together in an attempt to conceal his budding smile, hand to mouth when he miserably fails.
What on Earth was so funny? 
Attempting to crane your neck, over and under, to catch a glimpse of the ever popular professor, you find yourself blocked by the sea of math nerds and ass-kissers just like yourself. Curiosity was becoming a little too much for you to bear, not that your friends sniggering and whispering while looking directly at you was helping at all. You were just about to march up to the two and demand to be put on their shoulders to see what the fuss was about. Until—
“Alright! It’s almost 8, let’s save the chatter for after class, how about?” you hear a voice boom in the centre of the anthill. 
You knew that voice.
You watch in slow motion as the hoard of bodies disperse, not missing the pointed glances of both your friends directed at the teacher’s table. 
And then you see it. Standing there, looking down at his folder sheets, dry-erase marker in hand. 
Choi Seungcheol.
Choi Seungcheol was your professor.
Your boyfriend was your professor.
How did this happen? Did he know about this? Was he keeping it from you? Were you blind when you read the clear ‘Dr. Kim’ next to your unit code? 
Seungcheol doesn’t notice you standing there slack mouthed and frozen in his classroom. Until he does. 
Instead of mimicking your shocked expression, you watch as his mouth goes to pull what you recognise as a smirk. 
Oh, he thinks this is hilarious. 
His eyebrows are raised as he questions you, “Will you be taking a seat, miss?” 
It’s then that you realise you're in the middle of a lecture hall with about a hundred eyes watching you as you gape at your collective professor. Could they be mistaking your imminent horror as you checking him out? 
If this was another situation maybe you would have, but this was starting to sound like a sick joke. 
But alas, you could not confront your professor like that, at least not in front of an audience. So you find it within yourself to slowly slug towards the staircase to plant yourself next to your friends. Both of whom were having the absolute time of their lives watching your dazed expression. 
You might have committed murder that day. 
You’re forced to snap out of it as you hear Seungcheol - professor Choi - begin to speak at the front of the class.
“Good morning everybody,” he starts, hands on his desk, a pleasant expression on his face as he awaits a response from his borderline comatose students. A chorus of good mornings greet him back, excluding your own.
“Hope you guys had a good break, welcome to Pure Math 171, my name is Professor Choi” he moves to scribble his name on the whiteboard, “And I would like to be referred as such.” 
His gaze finds you in your seat as he utters those words. He is quick to shift.
“We’re gonna be starting light today, I’ll be going through our unit guide and grading system…” 
Seungcheol talks. And talks. And talks. And you don’t listen. You watch instead.
You’re mad at him. Really mad at him. But you can’t help but wonder as he walks around looking like that. He’s in the simplest dress shirt and slacks of a neutral colour, but he wears it oh so well. 
You’ve watched him every morning as he gets dressed for work, knowing his attire has always suited him. Your friends who have been in his classes have expressed their disappointment when told he wasn’t single, and promptly draw open in shock when they realize it's you that’s snagged him before the world could. 
Seungcheol, for lack of a better word, hits different when he’s in his element. His hair is pushed back and out of his face, noting how his glasses look so much sexier when he’s pacing the room with hands dipped in his pockets. He’s speaking tongues of numbers and symbols, and it’s suddenly the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.
But you're mad at him. It shouldn’t be that hard to remind yourself. 
“You know, you’re being real ungrateful for a person who just got a free pass on the hardest class this fucking insitution can cook up,” Soonyoung whisper-shouts next to you.
Minghao quips beside him, “Look alive, sister, you’ve hit the jackpot.”
“Were you two in on it?” you finally snap, irritated at their apparent glee. 
Soonyoung snorts, “Fuck, no, we saw him when we walked in this morning”
“So did he know?” 
“Oh, I think Professor Choi would be glad to tell you himself after hours,” Minghao sleazes while Soonyoung throws you the greasiest wink known to man. 
Disgusted and disturbed, you turn your attention back to the front of the room. You’re still disgusted and disturbed. Seungcheol is still there, looking like he does, scribbling some example equation on the board. 
“Hmm. I think professor Choi ought to know his favourite student’s having trouble paying attention? We can’t have that, you should move up front.”
You do move. Away from your friends to the seats higher up. 
It’s a mind-numbing two hours in which you think you experience every emotion possible. 
You think of your friends who have sat in his classes all semester, that have ogled him and admitted his apparent attractiveness. There were people in this room that were thinking the very same thing in this very moment, and it was making your skin crawl. You wanted to get up and scream: This is your boyfriend.
But alas, you are but a tired, tired college student. He wouldn’t fail you, would he? Then again, he has a ruthless streak of keeping you from the lights of life when you’re slacking in dire times. You might be the love of his life, but he remains a man of discipline. 
It’s an annoying trait, but only ever in the moment. He might be the sole reason you haven’t completely lost yourself in the sea of academics. 
“I think we can wrap up with that, it’s basic stuff but it won’t hurt to revise on your own before next week when we really get into it,” Seungcheol’s voice booms.
There’s a churn in your stomach for some reason, and you have to neutralize your breathing as you watch the lecture hall slowly empty out. A few students remain lingering at the front desk for yet another round of buttering. Seungcheol entertains them, pleasant smile on his face, nodding along to something. You remain seated, arms and legs crossed as you stare daggers into the top of Seungcheol’s head as he speaks with his students. 
The remaining students file out as well, and you notice how Soonyoung and Minghao are long gone, leaving just you and Seungcheol alone in this big, big room. 
It’s only then that he looks up searching, to check if you had left yet.
He remembered quick. 
His eyes finally land on your, disgruntled, tight form, refusing to make eye contact for more than three seconds before huffing audibly, moving to put away your things. Seungcheol moves around his front desk, hands in pockets, hiking his way up the lecture steps to where you were at the top row. 
You’re shoving your laptop in your bag by the time he’s done with his trek, planting himself on the chair next to you loudly. You ignore him.
“Do you think we’d get in trouble if they caught us like this?” he muses after a few silent moments.
“Caught us like what?” You snap. There goes your pledge to remain silent.
“You can’t possibly think a teacher and his student caught in a classroom by themselves is necessarily a point in our favor” 
“I’ll do the honors then” with that you’re swinging your bag over your shoulder to trudge behind him to the steps leading down, wanting to be out of his presence for the time being. 
You’re barely past him when there’s a grip on your wrist, firm and purposeful, that tugs you backwards in a harsh manner. The bag on your shoulder is sent to the floor while you, in your entirety, are sent straight into Seungcheol’s lap. 
Bastard. 
The smirk on his face is enough to send you into a pot of livid fumes, right after you’re done balancing yourself on his shoulders. You try not to grip on too tight. 
“What makes you think you can leave without being dismissed?”  
“What the fuck.” 
“Language, miss. I don’t tolerate obscenities in my classroom.” It might’ve been a menacing threat, but with what lay behind the glint in his eyes you knew he was being a little shit. 
It takes you every fibre in your body to refrain from thinking too much about him. Him and his hands that rest on your thighs, him and his hands that are placed near your waist, stroking and pressing into your shirt. 
No, you're mad at him.
“Did you know?” you ask finally, tired of the back and forth.
“Nope,” he replies, “Found out when you walked in.” 
“Do you not read your attendance sheet? Isn’t that your job? You had the entirety of summer to give me a heads up, this is your fault!” 
“Dr. Kim got into an accident last night, she’s out of service for the rest of the semester. I didn’t know until I came in for my other class I was being switched over—” 
“How does that happen?!” you almost yell.
He’s silent for a moment before beginning again, “Do you want me to ask for another class?” 
Wait, what. 
“I didn’t say that—” You can’t finish because your being pushed off your seat on his lap to stand while he gets up as well.
“I’ll go talk to the co-ordinator then, class isn’t working out for me.” With that he’s trudging back down the steps, making a beeline for the door.
You’re left stunned at the top of the stairs, not knowing if he was being serious or not. Were you about to let his presence bother you that bad? To the point he had to switch classes? What were you even that upset about? 
Twirling around in place trying to look for the bag that was strewn about earlier, you grab the straps and race down the steps. If Seungcheol can hear your bounding footsetps, he doesn’t show it. Instead you crash into his back just as he’s about to leave the room, to which he turns around. 
The smirk seems glued to his face and you realize right then you may have been lured. With the 180° that had become of your perception, you couldn’t be mad at him anymore, cooling off the simmer that had been brewing for the past couple hours. 
“Maybe…Maybe I can live with seeing your face for a couple hours a week,” you mumble, suddenly unable to maintain eye contact.
He lets out an incredulous laugh, “Couple hours a week?! Do you realise we sleep in the same bed at night, pretty sure that’s more than a couple hours.”
“You know what I meant!” you huff, arms crossed and turning your head away. You cringe slightly at how you voice echoes across the large lecture hall. 
Feeling his hands enclose yours, pulling your body slowly towards him, you bring yourself to look back up at him. His hands come up behind you when you’re close enough, snaking up your back and waist. You try not to shudder, but it’s hard when you know he’s doing it on purpose. There’s warmth that radiates off of him, a stark contrast from the chill classroom, your fingers finding purchase around his own waist.
There’s more of that same warmth when he kisses you, short pecks, yet ones that have you smiling against his lips. The curve remaining as he rests his forehead on yours.
“Let’s go home, just need to grab my stuff,” he says, but makes no effort to move from his position.
“Are you already done for the day?” you frown.
“No,” he muses, “But it’s only the first day. Besides, I wanna sit in bed with my girl while I map her out for the first assignment of the semester.” 
“Does your girl get premium access?” 
“Hm, maybe.” 
Before you can refute, the door of the room bursts open with a bang that reaches straight into your soul. With the way Seungcheol’s eyes widen, you don’t doubt the same was happening in his own chest. 
There isn’t enough time for you to pull away before hearing gasps alluding from the threshold. 
Soonyoung and Minghao stand at the door, scandalized looks complete with hands over their faces. Hao shakes his head in mock disappointment, eyes pointed. Soonyoung pulls out his hands, framing them like he was taking a picture of the both of you gripping each other.
“Now what would the bulletin look like with these two on the front cover? You’re friends with Seok, right? D’you think you could put a word in?” Soonyoung yaps, the most insufferable look on his face.
Seungcheol laughs, to your surprise, and looks over to you, “What d’you think the bulletin would look like with his F on the front cover?” 
“D’you think you could put a word in?” you raise your eyebrows. 
His smile widens but he’s being pulled away as both your friends move forward to surround him. You vaguely register Soonyoung cupping your boyfriend’s face delicately, singsonging about their years of friendship, or how Hao has his arms wrapped around him in a back hug, head on his shoulder. 
You vaguely register any of it, because you’re smiling too hard at the scene. Smiling too hard when Seungcheol catches your eye, before bursting out laughing, attempting to wrestle the two off of him. 
You bring your phone up to the chaos instead of your hands, wanting to frame the scene for real this time. 
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xmalereader · 1 year
Text
Simon Riley X Tall! Male Reader
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|| Masterlist ||
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Authors note: I caved into this request even though I wasn’t accepting any but couldn’t help but get it done. I tried to give it batman and catwomen vibes but failed miserably. ( ̄∀ ̄) anyways, enjoy this shot that I didn’t really try my best on but did what I could to get the story going.
Request: Ghost X Tall! Male Reader that can speak Spanish (it's hella sexy) and tries to teach Ghost some too...
Warnings: Fluff, Spanish language, flirting, masked reader, tall reader, missions, hacker, pas memories, learning, ghost falls for reader, mentions of Alejandro’s past, language, semi short shot, code name: rouge.
Word count: 3.2k
Tags: @guardkeywolf
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Laswell had a mission for the a team, fairly simple but also risky. She thought the process would be a lot faster than she thought but instead took notice that the mission she needed to complete was going to be a lot harder than she thought and needed all the help that she could get. She didn’t need strong men but intelligence and the last intelligent person they had was Graves until the betrayal. His skills would’ve come in handy if he didn’t betray them along with Shepard. She instead had to look for an alternate route, one that she felt hesitant to use.
When she arrived in base she was able to get everyone to meet her, standing around a table as the gives everyone a nod of greeting before starting. “Thank you for accepting my offer, I’ve been tracking down Finch for years and had a hard time tracking him until now.” She holds out a folder and sets it in front of everyone, opening and showing them a picture of their target. “Finch operates in Money Laundering. He’s in charge of cleaning the money in order for it to be used and harder to trace.” She explains, setting out the file. “He helps big leaders, gangs, drug dealers, cartels—whoever the hell he can get in contact with, he will work for them. If we can get him then we can get all the intel that we need from people he might know. Target must come back alive.” Her last weird date stern and serious, she couldn’t lose this man nor can she risk getting him killed.
“Very well,” Price is the first to speak up. “How do you want to do this?”
Laswell nods. “Finch will be arriving to a casino in Las Vegas—good place to deal with money when their are so many people around gambling for it. You’ll all need to be undercover, blend in with the crowd and find a way to keep his guards away from him.” She explains, pointing at a few pictures of Finch’s guards that followed him everywhere he went. “Here’s the tricky part, he has total control of surveillance. If he takes notice of anything then it’s over for us.”
“So, how do we get through without getting caught by cameras?” Soap is the one to ask this time, raising a brow at her as she softly grins at the man. “I know someone who can help us.” She digs into her bag and pulls out another folder, showing the boys before sliding it over to Price first, who takes the folder and reads through it.
“He goes by Rouge—slippery bastard but will help us. He’s a hacker, can easily slip in out of anything.” She stands up straight and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched them carefully, passing the folder to each other as they read through the information and background. “He first hacked into the pentagon at the age of twelve, later at the age of fourteen he would hack into many wealthy companies and steal their personal information along with selling it. The kid got 5 companies to file for bankruptcy and nearly a hundred people were arrested for illegal information.”
Ghost takes the file next, eyes scanning the information as they land on a small picture clicked on the corner, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the other man’s features. Before he could hand the folder back to Laswell she speaks up fast. “Ghost, your mission is to keep a close eye on him and to protect him at all costs.” She refers to the hacker.
Ghost grunts, setting the folder down on the table. “Does he know how to use a gun?” He wants to make sure that the kid could at least defend himself or know how to fight. “He can handle a gun.” Laswell smiles back at ghost before she looks at everyone else. “Very well, he will be arriving tomorrow. Be prepared.” She instructed before giving them one last nod and leaving the room, giving them time to get ready for their new mission.
Simon wasn’t too happy that he’d have to sit back and take care of a new recruit. He wasn’t one to babysit rookies but Laswell had pulled him aside after their meeting and told him that their hacker was a slippery one and loved to escape their grip. The kid was smart and could easily steal millions without anyone noticing. Simon questioned himself as to why they haven’t arrested the rookie or perhaps kept a close eye on him? He wasn’t given a reason and he’d rather not ask why. Simon stayed back at base to wait for the hackers arrival while the others got ready, it was until Soap came out to join him when he asked. “Think the new guy knows what he’s doing?”
Simon sighs deeply and shrugs. “Not sure, let’s hope he doesn’t mess up our mission.” He wouldn’t want to deal with the rookies mess if he were to create one for himself. Both him and Soap watched as a plane comes down, landing near them as the two stood back and watched, the door slide open. The first thing the two men took notice of their new teammate was his height, he was around the same height as ghost, perhaps slightly taller by a few inches but he didn’t seem too intimidate. In fact, the new rookie wore all black with a case in hand, grinning at the two as he approached them. “Gentleman.” His voice was soft but also filled with a teasing tone, ghost knew he wasn’t going to like him.
Soap was the first to speak up. “Good to see ya! I’m soap, you’re the one they call rouge?” He questions. While the other nods. “Some call me Rouge others call me Fox.” He suddenly says, giving soaps hand a shake and eyeing Ghost up and down before focusing back to soap. “Fox?”
“You’ll know when you see my work.” Rouge answers, hand on his hip as he looks over his shoulder to see the other team members exiting the building. The first thing rouge does when the rest of the group approaches is pull Alejandro into a hug while the other laughs and slaps his hand against his shoulder. “Look at you! Portándote bien?”
“Como no?”
The two laugh at each other before pulling away. Simon glanced at the two, obviously knowing that the two had some sort of connection to each other but what surprised ghost the most was that the rookie spoke Spanish. He didn’t sound like he was learning, more like he was raised with it as a slight accent is hard in his words.
“It’s been too long, causing trouble again?” Alejandro added while Y/n smiles widely at his old friend. “I’m always causing trouble, because of my trouble I’m here to help you boys. Laswell caught me up on everything and thinks I can help with getting your guy.” He waves his case around, showing them his tools. “Good, we need someone like you.” Alejandro chuckles, giving the other a large smile.
“Good, now.” Price speaks up from the group. “Laswell already gave us the plans, let’s get ready and start heading out. Ghost—you and rouge should head down to the casino first, get in and find a safe place to stay hidden while Rouge does his own magic.”
Rouge smirks. “Si, Señor.”
That gets everyone moving, separating into different vehicles that they plan to take to Vegas. Rouge follows ghost towards their own car, getting up front as he sets his case on his lap, smiling softly to himself as ghost sighs deeply. “Let’s get this done quickly.” He states, starting the car up and driving away from base while Rouge opens his case and pulls out his laptop.
He flips it open and tries away, chewing on his lip as he focused on getting through the building and perhaps a map of the building. Ghost would glance over to him every few seconds before asking. “What are you doing?”
“I’m checking for a blind spot.” He mutters out, tilting his head to the side. “Hm, the bathroom is one but it’ll be too crowded—too many people will come and go. Perhaps the security room?”
“Too dangerous—we can’t get anyone else involved into our mission.”
“Fine.” He continues to check for any other blind spots, scanning the floor and frowning. “We can do the roof.” He points out. “There’s a skylight on the casino, big enough for us to stay hidden and no cameras up there. If their are guards then we simply take them down and I’ll be able to work on peace. No one will get in our way and I have a clear view of the floor below me.” He explains, showing Ghost his laptop and an image of the skylight.
Ghost only gives it a glance before agreeing to the idea. The other man smiles softly and returns back to typing as he checks for any other alternates in case the skylight doesn’t, jumping softly to himself as he mumbled under his breath. “Todavía no.” He sighs to himself before closing his laptop and slipping it back inside the case. Ghost side eyes him before focusing back on the road, his hand gripping the steering wheel and asks.
“How do you and Alejandro know each other?”
Rouge hums. “Oh? Estas curioso?” He raises a brow.
“No.”
Rouge laughs at his response, throwing his head back and smiling widely. “I helped me with some personal matters, we tend to get in debt with each other.” He doesn’t provide much detail about their relationship, keeping it a secret from him. He didn’t need to tell Ghost further details about his own personal life, it was dangerous and could get him caught if he were to do anything that was considered illegal. He’d rather be safe and not spread too much information about himself which is why his file was so small when Laswell presented it to the boys, only giving his code name along with his skills. The rest was either a mystery to everyone or perhaps a lie in order to keep his identity hidden.
“I’m guessing this personal matter was something illegal.” Ghost decides to speak up again, pulling rouge out of his thoughts as he turns to face the other. He shakes his head in response to ghosts statement. “It wasn’t bad, I was simply helping a friend.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Alejandro did teach me a few things—“ he laughs. “His mother taught me Spanish, she’d force me to speak it when I’m around her and I learned to speak it fluently. She’d also get pissed when Alejandro taught me how to swear around her.” It was a fond memory that he treasured. The sound of an elderly women cussing out her son as she waved a wooden spoon while chasing him around. The women may be old in age but she still had some stamina in her when it came towards disciplining her children.
“I’m trying to learn—been getting dragged around a lot in Mexico and had grown to the language.” Ghost admits.
This gets rouges attention. “Really? Perhaps I can teach you along the way.” He offers, sitting up in his seat and thinks. “You can understand it?”
“A little.”
“Perfect, how about I just speak it every once an awhile before switching back to English. I heard that it helps.”
Ghost thinks about the idea before agreeing with the other man. He’s been around the others for awhile that he’s grown to know a few Spanish words that were repeated around frequently. He understands the language but can’t speak it. In truth, he only asked to learn since he enjoyed the sound of the other man’s voice whenever he spoke the language, soft and seductive and it lured ghost to the man.
“Muy bien—“ Rouge checks the watch on his wrist. “En dos horas llegamos a Las Vegas. Once we get there I’ll make sure that we get inside undetected and onto the roof while the others get ready for tonight.” Rouge had seen the others disguise and how they had to blend in with the other guards or as civilians who were coming in to gamble while both he and ghost remained on the roof.
“You don’t wear a vest.” Ghost suddenly points out since he was wearing all black and some leather gloves sticking out of his pocket.
“Don’t need it, el disfraz que yo tengo puesto es suficiente.” Rouge blended well in the shadows, staying hidden from the publics eyes. He could get the job done and escape without leaving a trace of himself behind. He made sure to make no mistakes when on the job.
When they arrived to the casino they made sure to park in the back, waiting quietly as they watched the others enter the casino. The streets of Vegas were full, everyone either drinking or spending their money while they gamble. Rouge wasn’t one for parties but he didn’t mind gambling for some money or just taking money from the rich.
Looking through his scope he watched as the group got inside, signaling that it was there turn to move. Rouge puts his scope away and turns to ghost. “Listo?” He asks and gets a nod in response. Rouge grins, slipping on his own face mask to cover up the bottom half of his face, holding his case close as the two step out of the car and into the dark alleyways. The streets were dark and everyone was too intoxicated to take notice of the two of them as they climbed onto the roof top.
Rouge is the first to reach the top, hiding in the dark as he checks for any guards. “Esta seguro.” He whispers to ghost who followed after him. The two moving low and quiet as they reach the skylight, below them is the casino and gives them both a good view of the entire place. He smiles under his own mask and turns to ghost, leaning close to the other man as he whispers near his ear.
“Keep an eye out, yo hago lo demás.”
His words cause a shiver to run down ghosts spine as he watched Rouge sit near the skylight and open his case, pulling out his laptop and hacking into security. “Child’s play.” Rouge scoffs, easily getting into the security and getting access to all cameras and security numbers. “Ya entre.” He shows his laptop to ghost, showing him the surveillance footage.
Ghost raised his brows, impressed by his work. “Didn’t think it would be that easy.”
“no siempre es fácil.”
Ghost holds his gun in hand, ready for anything. “Para ti si es.” His Spanish is a little choppy and with a hint of his accent. His sudden words surprise Rouge who's eyes widen as he chuckles, clapping his hands twice. “Mirate! Ya andas aprendiendo, mi fantasma.”
Ghosts face heats up at his last words. He coughs and clears his throat, focusing back on the mission as Rouge worked on the cameras. He sat on the floor, leaning against the wall and focused on the computer in-front of him. “You know—this guy your getting why not get him when he’s alone? He’s been around many places without guards but you pick the casino out of all places.”
“We need to make sure that we catch him in the act when he launders money. Who knows what else he’s doing.”
Rouge frowns deeply under his mask. “Yeah, who knows.” His eyes cast down, staring down at the casino and watched people gamble. He watched the rich gamble away their money that they had no need for. He’s seen the way they’ve handled their money, too much to us that instead of giving it to those in need they become selfish and keep it for themselves. He sighs deeply and turns back to the cameras and takes notice of their target while the boys made a move to get him. Rouge sets his laptop to the side and comes to a stand, getting ghosts attention. “Mi haces un favor?”
“What is it?”
Rouge moves past him, going around the skylight. “Can you stand here and keep an eye from here? I took notice of a few escape routes for our target and in case he takes one I want to make sure that you take notice.”
“Wouldn’t the cameras show you?”
“Their blind spots and I wouldn’t be able to see.” He responds back and watched as ghost walks over to him, standing in a new area while rouge grins under his mask. “Gracias.” He stood close to ghost as he whispered his gratitude to him. Ghost tries to focus on his task while Rouge goes back to his laptop on the other side of the skylight, picking it up and typing away as he listens to the comms.
He looks down below at the casino. “And…lights out.” He pressed a key on his laptop as the lights go dark and the room goes into chaos as everyone panics while the guards grow cautious of the lights going out. Their comms go off while ghost grows confused.
“Soap, do you copy? What’s going on down there!” He shouts into his comm but gets no response, he can hear them but they can’t hear him. “What—?” He looks up to see rouge by the edge of the roof, mask removed as he gives ghost a Cheshire grin. “Adois, mi fantasma.” He gives him a wink and jumps off the building, disappearing into the crowded streets blow a ghost cursed under his breath.
He checks his vest to see that his comm was turned off, he’d thought he had it one this whole time. He’s quick to turn the comms back on and quickly gets in touch with the others.
“Ghost, how copy? Dammit ghost are you there?” He hears Soap call for him.
He turns to his comm and glared, before he can respond back the lights are back on in the casino. He growls in anger. “Copy, rouge escaped.” Laswell had warned him.
“Hijo de puta.” He hears Alejandro sigh out in frustration through the comms. “Did we get finch?” Ghost asks the real important question, wanting to make sure that their target was alive.
“No, he escaped.” Said Soap.
Ghost huffs angrily, making his way towards the edge of the roof and to make his way down. Once he reaches the bottom of the steps he finds the car still in the same place, meaning that rouge had escaped by foot. He walks up to the car and pulls the door open, supposed to see Finch tied up and gagged on the passenger seat. The man is unconscious and with a note stuck to its forehead.
Ghost rounds the car and opens the door, removing the note and reading it to himself.
“Para mi fantasma.” 
Ghost laughs, shaking his head as he comms the others and let’s them know that their target was secure and alive. He ignored their questions of disbelief through the comms and focused back on the note in his gloved hand. “Fucking hell.”
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thefiresontheheight · 7 months
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"...while these [corporate re-education] programs have shown evidence of marginal positive effects (Meredithe et al.) and continue to be employed (Kine-Veck), they ultimately run into the same limitations as A.I. on interstellar hauls infallibly loyal to those possessing their security codes. That is, once outside effective communication distance companies cannot rely on any positive reinforcement. For this reason, it has been suggested that re-education instead focus on loyalty to the rest of the crew, rather than loyalty to the company." - A Proposal for Use of Romantic/Sexual Re-education on Interstellar Haul Crews, Delivered to the Board of VeckQwenZemco on New Armstrong, Mars, 2998 CE. *** The divorce come down and turn around was brutal. One moment your brain and biochemistry and hormones, all carefully wired by the re-education modules, make you fully believe that you have long been in a deep, committed, passionate relationship with the six to eight other people on the haul. You look at them and even though you know you'll only spend a few weeks of subjective time with them, maybe a month or two on a longer job, only a brief window out of cryo and not lagged by relativity, even though you know what you gave the company your written consent to do, your brain still loves them. Then you pull into orbit over Eridiani, or Luna, or wherever, you probably bang one last time, say your tearful goodbyes, and spend the next few weeks crying like you just lost the love of your life as the chemicals wash out and the deprogramming modules hit. The moment is over. But time spent on a company station meant time wracking up debt for oxygen, water, food. So, still on the come down, Reade looked for a course, signed the wavers, gave her consent, grabbed the meager belongings that had gotten her through seven of these hauls, now dating from over forty years ago given the time lost to cryo and near-light travel. File down to concourse-E. Begin again. "Here for the haul?" the skinny low-g kid of her in the line said. "Um, VeckGreenQwenZemco 3043-28897?" Reade sized them up. New kid. First haul. She could smell it on them. In a few hours she'd probably love them and have her brain inventing all sorts of bullshit justifications for the neurochemical feelings the company would induce in her in order to improve team cohesion and morale trillions of miles away from anyone else. In a few hours she'd love them for their optimism, their smile, their cheery attitude and all the questions. But not yet. Right now, still awash in the last break up, Reade savored the simple joy of being a miserable bitch. "Kid," she said, with a malicious grin, "you're gonna love me in a bit. But you're still gonna remember this so I want you to get a good earful of it before the re-education. I'm fucking hate you and hate that I have to do this and if I could I'd throw you out a fucking airlock." She pulled her headphones on and cranked the volume. It hurt, in her chest, and the least she could do was make someone else hurt with her. That freedom, at least, she had for a few more minutes.
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serena-babes · 14 days
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Royal Knight Reader x Lucifer Morningstar + Charlie Morningstar
Part TWO!!
platonic! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
gender neutral!!
1.7k
Sorry for the long wait everybody! school really kicked my butt but I am back! and super excited to write! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.゚
just wanna say rq that my requests are open! I will say though I can be a little picky but if you have something in mind I would love to hear it! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
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“And so then I look over and this bitch is halfway down the street!” Angel gestured enthusiastically to the rest of the large table continuous chatter continues from everybody, especially for Lucifer and Charlie. It has been a while since this has happened. 
Dinner was, nice. Maybe not the nicest dinner, food-wise. But “family” dinners aren't very common when you're always on the move or working. Listening to the laughter and plates clinking y/n looks down at their plate. Shiny fork in hand, clean warm plate. It's been a while since it's been like this, everything is so clean and shiny, a semblance of normal in this hellhole.
Too long they realize more like a couple of thousand years long, back when Lucifer was Samuel. It feels like a millennium ago, hell, at this point, it could be a millennium ago. 
Heaven was a lot stricter back then, everyone was made for a purpose and whoever stepped out of line posed a threat. That was why Y/n was the perfect example. And the reason they were assigned to keep a certain someone in line.
“But, heavenly father you must understand I don't.. I'm not made to work on something… with all due respect. Frivolous and unimportant.” Y/n said sternly adverting their gaze from the man himself. But even with their protests, they were still whisked away to take care of the “problem child” 
Messy, is how Y/n would describe it. A workshop with haphazardly thrown-around tools, discarded projects, various writings, and plans. And the messiest part, the Man himself. 
“Samuel” he introduced himself reluctantly 
“I'm not happy with this arrangement either I hope you know that. I don't wish to be a babysitter, even though you're older than me.” Y/n deadpanned, Samuel not amused by this remark went to whatever he was working on. Looking over his shoulder observing his work, not quite sure whatever the hell he was working on.
Y/n whistled out a long note making Samuels eye twitch. “Whatcha.. Watcha working on..” Y/n clasped their hands in front of them. Friendly unprofessional conversation wasn't their forte. 
“I thought you said you didn't want to babysit” Samuel mocked you 
“Well yeah, but that doesn't mean we both have to be COMPLETLY miserable” y/n quipped back “Trust me this will feel a little more like a babysitting shift if I just stand here and watch you…so?”  Y/n gestured to the various mechanical and clay pieces Samuel was arranging. 
Now, not so reluctant. Samuel shows them, and that's how it all started. He would share almost everything with Y/n and soon Y/n couldn't see what was so horrible and troublesome about him. He was sharp and witty but also, a dreamer, a chaser, and stubborn. 
Everything was peaceful for a while, days spent with Lucifer, well Samuel. tinkering away or writing while Y/n trained or did whatever their heart desired. Days spent in the sun streaming through the wide windows of the laboratory some days all they would do was lie on the floor and talk
“So… why do you follow that code, what's it called again? Chivalry? “ Samuel asked laying straight on his back wings outstretched gazing at the laboratory ceiling.
“Yeah... Chivalry.” Y/n responded opting to stop training and laying down next to Samuel feeling their bones and soul decompress from the strenuous work. 
“I'll remember that,” Samuel said cheekily flicking Y/N's shoulder plyfully. 
“Well, I would hope you would I mean it's kinda my whole schtick” retorted Y/n.
“Why do you follow it anywho? I mean… in the end, what's stopping you from... I don't know, not?” He turned to watch Y/N's expressions. 
“You shouldn't... You shouldn't be questioning the heavenly father Sammie. It's dangerous.” Y/n looked over to Lucifer, sometimes Y/n worried his thinking was the thing that would kill him. 
“But, if you want to know, it's because I'm scared, I'm scared of what would happen if I chose something else. you know, what would happen to me. I'm too used to the security it provides.” y/n said honestly opting to look at the ceiling instead of straight at Lucifer. What Y/n didn't know was the saddened knowing expression Lucifer had on.
He was always the odd one out, believing more in himself than in the “higher being” that was his father. If only people could see the fear they had of the man was... Wrong. 
“Hm… I understand” 
“I think that's what I like about you, you're not afraid.” Y/n smiled, grabbing his shoulder and giving it a quick shake.
And that's how life was for a while, truly all rainbow and sunshine. 
Wasent until Lucifer started going to Eden. Slowly but surely changes in Samuels now Lucifer's demeanor changed. And Y/n couldn't keep up. 
“Sam- Lucifer. What. are. You. doing. You're going to get yourself killed.” Y/n pleaded. Grasping his shoulders hoping to shock him back to reality. But all he did was stare at the floor in silence.
“She's just a woman Lucifer .” Y/n took their hands off his shoulders and he started drifting.
“No, she's not..” Lucifer said meekly turning away from Y/n no longer wishing to feel their sharp gaze. 
“Oh? So what are you telling me? That this” Y/n gestured to all the papers heavens sent over giving him warnings. “THIS. was all worth it because you found the love of your life. and that this is the woman for you?” 
“I don't know… she could be.”Finally, Lucifer turned to face them. 
Silence enveloped the room 
“I just… Were both fucked. Things are changing, and I don't. I don't know what's gonna happen.” Y/n sat down on a nearby chair their head in their hands pulling and scratching at their scalp.
Lucifer moved silently across the room moving to observe Y/n. 
It was odd he thought, on the outside, they were the epitome of resilience, class, and discipline. If one of them would be the scared one it sure as hell wouldn't be Y/n. but seeing a strong being such as Y/n clam up. Made Lucifer see them better, no longer was Y/n their “noble babysitter” or another Angel following orders. They were someone who had such complexity as him. 
“Hey… whatever happens, we um.” he eyed the various papers demanding his meeting with his father.
“We will do it together, they always say new beginnings are good… right?” 
And so, off to the races they went. Building disdain in heaven for the “heavenly father” advocating for more rights, changing life on earth. Creating people and new creations. Letting all ingenuity seep out of heaven's angels and onto the earth below, Showering the planet in green. Lucifer and Lilith fall in love. New ideologies are building, and new tempting offers are being given to heaven-curious Angels. 
But, going up against an actual god. You're doomed for failure eventually.
Always an Angel, never a god. 
If you told Y/n thousands of years before that they would be kicked out of heaven with two lovers in toe they would call you mad. Crazy even. Why would you say something so ridiculous?
“Hey! Y/n you looked a little zoned out over there you okay?” Charlie turned to you and asked 
“Yeah! Everything is pretty great right now. I was just thinking.” Y/n got up from the table and went to help Charlie with collecting dishes 
“Oh really? About what?” Charlie said collecting various plates and cups 
“Oh, just about how, proud I am, and how good the hotel is.” Y/n smiles warmly putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder and shaking it a little. “Oh… oh Charlie... Okay, well don't cry! You know I'm not good with TEA-” Y/n said suddenly being engulfed in a bone-crushing hug and a waterfall of salty tears.
After some time, Vaggie has to take a spatula to separate you two. Charlie's tears ceased, and now you three were lounging on the couch. Very reminiscent of what Y/n and Lucifer would do in their youth… They are so scarily similar sometimes, if Y/n squinted they swore they saw Lucifer. 
“When I was a kid I used to be like… SUPER scared of you for a little bit.” Charlie said smiling slightly and laughing to herself 
“Really-”
“Yes.” Charlie and Vaggie both said cutting Y/N's words off. But all Y/n can do is laugh. 
 “Am I that intimidating? Me? I haven't won a single game of Hellopoly in my life, or uno… or I guess any card or board game. I don't see how that's intimidating.” 
“You'd be surprised” Charlie quipped back a small smile gracing her features. 
The room fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments the only sound in the room being the ticking grandfather clock which Charlie eyed suspiciously.
“Hey.. so crazy idea, haha! But. I don't know, I mean you can say no! Of course! But I was just kinda wondering if you would… like to stay at the hotel? I mean protection isn't a bad thing. And it wouldn't interfere with like your actual job… but I don't know I feel like you feel better here, and I know dad feels better when you're here too.” 
Y/n listened to Charlie go on silencing her with her hand 
“That sounds great Charlie,” Y/n said softly getting up to put their now empty glass of wine away. 
As Y/n enters the kitchen, all they see is Lucifer's pajama-clad form rummaging around in the fridge. 
“Now what, are you up to? Didn't we eat like hmm..” Y/n puts their hand up to their chin mocking a thinking pose “like an hour ago?” they quip as they move to wash their empty wine glass. 
“Haha!” lucifer says sarcastically pulling something out to eat.
Soft chatter filters between the two, the kitchen light pretty dark the only luminary being the fridge and the oven light.
“So… guess who is the newest resident,” Y/n said staring expectantly at Lucifer
And they swear they have never seen such a bright smile grace his face.  
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toriangeli · 2 months
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Mmkay.
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I don't think anyone guessed it was Claudia coming out of the foxhole, but there it is. She looks miserable. Louis' "our life sucks" speech makes a lot of sense.
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Armand is...fraying here. Good. Glad we're seeing some of my boy's fragile mental health and how intense he can get.
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Could be Gabrielle, could be Nicki. I think either one of them coolly watching Lestat get yeeted would be IC. It's just what they'd do afterward that would be different. It does look like brown hair to me, though, so yeah.
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Clothing from the 1780's. It's possible Lestat got turned earlier than stated in s1, closer to when he was turned in the books, unless his acting career lasted a lot longer in this version than in the books. It was his acting that caught Magnus' attention. But you look at those flowing gowns, a silhouette somehow transitory between the 1770's cone-shaped torso and the 1790's-regency empire waist, plus the shape of the ladies' wigs, that's very classic 1780's.
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Is this how Lestat learns Armand's life story, instead of Armand kinda mentally short-circuiting and projecting it telepathically?
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PAINTER ARMAND? I can't tell what era this is in, but there was never a point in the books where Armand was able to get past painting as a trauma trigger. It wasn't even something he liked that much in the first place, but that's probably because his dad made it not-fun anymore.
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Agreed that this is Marius. There's no reason for David to come into the story this early, and if he did, he'd probably just introduce himself as head of the Talamasca to provide receipts for his knowledge.
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT A BABY BIRD CRAWLING OUT OF HIS THROAT???
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Madeline's hair being cut while she screams. I'm gonna...leave that one there and just be horrified. If you know, you know.
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DOES LOUIS HAVE THE CLOUD GIFT?
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Family of FOUR?
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Ohhhhh so it was Santiago stalking Louis with the fire gift. That makes a ton of sense now. Santiago hates Louis for petty reasons.
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Broken glass everywhere. Not just books falling down, but windows breaking?
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omg Louis threatening to cut Santiago's tongue out. Sorry, bb boy, it'll just grow back, but GOD I am so ready for Louis' rage meltdown.
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Merrick timeline truthers: heaven-coded Claudia reaching out toward the camera with a smile? Possibly surrounded by sunlight?
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evermourning · 8 months
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𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - bang chan
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pairing: bang chan x reader
genre: fluff, comfort, slice of life, based off "must be love" by laufey
wc: 0.8k
warnings: neck kisses (non-sexual), use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), language
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now that you had someone you could call your own, it was like time stopped.
you were used to not much going your way, like the world had it out for you. it was some sort of sick fucking joke, like a dark raincloud hanging over your fate and covering up all that was good. you learned to code with it. that was how you lived.
until chan came along, of course.
he was the warm ray of sunshine you needed to push the melancholia inside you away. immediately, you could tell something was different. this guy was just full of so much love, it seemed surreal. intangible.
now, months into a relationship with the supposed man of your dreams, you missed him miserably. he sat absorbed in his work, the studio forming a impenetrable fortress that took away any means of self or time...and you sat in traffic.
whenever you were with him, the bad things faded out of view, and when you weren't near his remedial presence, they quickly made themselves known once again.
however, your boyfriend had taught you to appreciate the little things in life. you were composed, calm as you settled into the remotely soft car seat and looked out your window. the sky was like a canvas, warm colors with hues of reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows danced across the dimming sky as the sun bid its final goodbyes...until it would return joyously the next day, like clockwork.
when you finally arrived home, much later than anticipated, you opened the door to the smell of spices and a delicious and piquant scent wafting from the oven, and your boyfriend hard at work in the kitchen.
"you're back!" he said, grinning. carefully setting down the wooden spoon, making sure not even a single drop stained your counters. "i was beginning to worry, you didn't even send me a text..." he faked a pout, only causing your smile to widen.
"i'm sorry, the sunset was so mesmerizing tonight, baby. and i was stuck in traffic." seeing his incredulous glance, you let out a tiny chuckle. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry! in my defense, i thought you were holed up in your studio again, so i assumed you wouldn't even be here..."
"can't do that as much anymore," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. "my baby would miss me too much."
you laughed softly, closing your eyes and feeling yourself get lost in the moment as chan pressed soft kisses along your collarbone and neck.
the little moments like these were the ones where you let yourself go, succumbing to the tranquility of the time spent with him.
you'd fallen so hard, you realized. sometimes you couldn't even believe he was your lover, feeling more akin to some silly school crush whenever you'd get all tongue-tied from his rampant flirting.
this was something more than a crush, though. this feeling of a blooming flower, spreading its vibrant petals far and wide throughout your heart was new. and you...liked it.
...
"where the hell have you been? you're almost alway busy nowadays!" your friend nagged on the phone. "don't tell me that no-good boyfriend of yours is monopolizing all your time...." you tuned her out as her incessant cacophony of yapping made your ears ring. instead, you chose to focus on your boyfriend's eyes, two serene pools of melted chocolate, filled with an elixir of love only for you.
"you're so damn pretty." he commented, staring at you, his lips stretched into a goofy little grin. "i wanna write another song about you."
"another?" you asked, hanging up on your friend. the silence felt heavenly. "you've been writing quite a bit recently, sweetheart...don't you think your fans will start to notice?"
his grin widened.
"see, that's my master plan. i keep all the recordings on my special laptop. therefore, i'll have them without the fans knowing. just for the two of us." he cooed, giving you a quick yet loving kiss. "you should go see ms. screech owl, now. i don't want to prove her point and monopolize your attention...although i really wish i could."
his words played on your heartstrings like a talented violinist, as usual. nowadays, he conducted an entire symphony inside your heart, driving you absolutely crazy.
nearly every waking moment, you felt euphoric, stuck inside a wonderland just for you. chan inhabited every waking thought of yours, and you just couldn't shake him. when he wasn't with you, it felt like a piece of you wasn't there. when he was with you, you felt like you were on cloud nine.
this wasn't normal, you concluded. there was only one possible answer to the scenario you'd entangled yourself in.
this was love, wasn't it?
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