#i can’t wait until the sun is out and i can go back to drawing one million things a day

[illuteridae]

senioritis is craaaazy (guy who has wanted out since the 5th grade)

#i’m playing a game called wait until may where i wait until may #rogar speaks #i can’t wait until the sun is out and i can go back to drawing one million things a day

[notmyneighbor]

Let Me In ~ Doppelgänger Francis Mosses/The Milkman x Female Reader

Chapter 10

Word Count ~ 5k

Rating ~ Explicit

CW ~ fluff and smut

Also available on AO3

Fanart used with permission @kaworinx on Instagram and TikTok

taglist ~ @luthien-elvenia-asher @fishfetus @gaudesstuff @nekee-lilac02 @msdevil333 @rrnrjn @maskedpacific @yoongiwantsme @that-0ne-simp @kaislashes @charli33-b33 @finalitgirl @kawaiichookie @vexillum-moeru @blackcurrant28 @r4yyyyy @dazedin2d @mrsspector-grant

Monday morning comes all too soon.

You’d stayed up later than you’d intended. Talking about the wedding. You’d agreed on an outdoor ceremony. To be held in late autumn, maybe. Still nothing definite. Baby names. This still unresolved. You think you’d fallen asleep mid debate.

Your doppelgänger has to get up even earlier on mornings when he stays at the farmhouse.

He’s insisted you sleep in before but you never do. You don’t want to miss any time being with him. It was worth missing sleep. Maybe you’d have matching shadows under your eyes.

You smile sleepily at him. It’s still dark but you can sense he’s awake, looking at you. You reach blindly for his face. He turns it, kissing your palm, his hand covering yours.

“I love you,” you greet him. You can’t say it enough.

“I love you, too.” A little regretful sigh before leaving the bed. The sounds of him getting ready in the bathroom, less obvious as you make your way downstairs and get coffee going. The sky is gradually lightening now. You can see some small wild brown rabbits through the kitchen window, rummaging near the bushes for breakfast before heading back to the burrow. You watch them scamper and forage while you prepare your own breakfast, scrambled eggs and toast to accompany the coffee.

An arm wraps around your shoulders, drawing you backwards. You can smell soap and shampoo and aftershave. He’s gotten better at the routine. Getting ready faster. Or maybe just rushing to steal a few more of these moments with you.

You lean against the doppelgänger, your head dropping back as his lips find your neck, then brush the shell of your ear. The smell of the coffee and cooked food permeates the kitchen. Warm kisses before the warm liquid slips down your throat after your first caffeinated sip.

The same words are spoken each morning before he steps into the delivery truck. I love you. Be safe.

The familiar ache is present before he’s even left the driveway. You miss him already. You worry for him. The rising sun kisses the dew on the lawn. You wrap your bathrobe tighter around your waist and head back up the steps of the porch.

***

Today is the day you’re introducing your fiancé to your parents.

You’re not sure which of you is more nervous as you drive to their house.

“What if your father says I can’t marry you?” Francis’ copy inquires anxiously, not for the first time, his fingers twisting restlessly in his lap until you reach for his hand, clutching it tightly.

“He won’t. I told you, it’s just a formality. A cultural politeness,” you reassure him. Still unsure of how this meeting is going to go. You’re going to be lying to your parents, after all. Telling them you’re marrying a human resident of the building you guard, knowing full well he’s really an alien. “We’ll get through this, love. Last thing before we move in together.”

A crooked little smile at this reminder. Still nervous. Your mouth brushes his knuckles before you return your attention to the road. Not as much traffic on a weekend morning.

“I’m surprised they don’t live in the building you work at.”

“There weren’t any vacancies or else they might have. There’s quite a waiting list to get into a DDD guarded building.”

“Meaning my apartment will be in demand once I move out.”

“Yes.” You sigh. “I’ll missing seeing you there. But then, I’ll have you at home, so, it’s a fair trade off.”

“Making you get up extra early five days a week.”

“Worth it.”

Another smile, this one sturdier. He was relaxing a little. “I love you.”

“I love you.” You’ve arrived at your destination. A brick and mortar home close to downtown. The narrow strip of lawn immaculately kept. Window boxes full of flowers. Your mother is watching your approach through the screen door, unable to wait any longer, hurrying down the trio of cement stairs and wrapping her arms around you. It had been several months since your last visit. You really should come more often.

Maybe you would, now. With a grandchild in tow, one day.

She steps back to inspect you. Looking you over, making sure you were healthy, eating properly. Remarking on the color in your cheeks which only heightens it further. You introduce your partner to her, noticing your father still hovering in the background, near the stairs.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Francis’ copy closes the distance and holds out a hand and you beam with pride. You’d rehearsed this. Your dad looks stern, but that’s just his way. He accepts the offering, his eyes boring into your fiancé’s. Did he suspect? He couldn’t possibly.

“Well, come on in. We’ve got lunch ready for you,” he invites, and you sigh inwardly with relief. So far, so good.

“Your young man is so handsome,” your mother murmurs as you ascend the stairs. You nod, holding the door open for her. You can hear your beau talking to your father in the dining room. Your dad was definitely a sports fan, and you knew for a fact neither Francis nor his doppel followed any pastimes. Hopefully they’d found some neutral pleasantries to converse about.

“Let me help you in the kitchen, Mom.” She accepts, leading you into the room. Smaller than your own, necessary with these inner city dwellings. Everything was more compact. Efficient. “New wallpaper?” You observe, noting the previous floral pattern has been exchanged for a linear print.

“Yes, last month. Very contemporary.” You grab a pair of potholders and remove a casserole from the oven while she begins unloading side dishes onto the plates.

“That’s a lovely ring, dear. He must have saved up quite a lot for that.”

“Yes, it’s pretty, isn’t it?” You pause to admire the engagement solitaire you’re wearing. “Francis always lived quite frugally. Lives quite frugally,” you correct hurriedly.

“Well, nothing wrong with being sensible when it comes to finances. Your father will appreciate that sentiment.”

“Do you think they’re okay in there?” You gaze in the direction of the open doorway that leads to the dining room. You still can’t quite make out what they’re saying.

“Oh, I’m sure your Francis is doing just fine. Don’t worry.”

You finish helping her fill the plates and then lift two, carrying them into the other room. Your father is seated directly across from your fiancé. Talking about the apartments. News. The war effort. You dart an anxious glance at the doppel but he’s doing well, keeping his voice neutral, answering everything politely. You can tell he’s relieved to see you, though, the second you enter the room his eyes lighting on yours.

“Here we are. Now, Francis—do you go by Francis? Not Frank, or…?”

“Francis is fine, ma’am.”

“Francis, we’re not shy about eating a good meal. There are seconds if you want them, just ask.”

“Thank you.”

You sit next to your doppel and your mother settles across from you. “Um, before we dig in, Francis would like to say Grace.” Your parents weren’t devout, but they respected the faith well enough. It had been a constant practice before every meal you’d sat down to with the milkman’s copy.

“Oh, certainly.” Your mother bows her head, and you see a faint flicker of something—maybe approval?—in your father’s eyes before he follows suit.

The simple prayer completed, you find yourself demolishing the contents on your plate with enthusiasm. Nothing ever beats your mother’s cooking. You’ve missed it.

The conversation flows well, with only a few pauses here and there. You appreciate the fact that your mother keeps drawing the invader back into the discussion, making sure he feels involved, a welcome participant.

Your father is still a little reserved, much of the communication done with his eyes. Intently regarding your beau. Studying him. You abandon the napkin draped on your lap and reach for the pretender’s thigh to reassure him, squeezing lightly. He squeezes your hand back.

By the time dessert arrives—you’re suddenly wishing you hadn’t stuffed yourself quite so full, you should have left room, because who could say no to homemade apple pie?—you can see your fiancé is anxious to ask the question he’s wanted to all along, shifting a little restlessly in his seat, the fork sinking into the sugared crust forgotten.

“Sir, I’d like to ask your permission for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

The room goes quiet, the movement of cutlery on porcelain still. “You’re going to provide for my girl?”

“Yes, sir.”

“She’s special. She deserves the best.”

“I agree. I swear to you I will do everything in my power to care for her and make her happy.”

Another pause. You’re holding your breath. Your mother is staring at your father, worrying her bottom lip.

“Well, I can’t ask for more than that. You have my permission.”

A collective sigh of relief from the guests at the table. Your mother’s hands clasp, her eyes shining. You press your lips against the doppel’s shoulder. He’d passed. You’d done it. You manage to clear your plate, offering to help your mother with the dishes.

“I like your Francis. He’s a fine young man. Respectful. Hard working. Maybe a little too hard working. The boy looks a little in want of sleep. Or is that your doing?”

“Mom!” You gasp, and she nudges your arm.

“I’m only teasing. But he’s a good man. He’s got your father’s approval, and you know that isn’t easy. Have you thought about a date yet?”

“We were actually thinking about the fall.”

“This fall? 1955?”

“Yes.” You finish lathering a plate with soap and rinse it, setting it on the rack to dry.

“That’s a little soon. You’re not…you know…”

“No, Mom. Not yet.”

“You know I’ve been wanting grandchildren. I know your career is important to you, but you should indulge in a domestic life. Stay home and raise a family. It would make me feel better not having you facing those horrible doppels day in and day out.”

“I want to help people, Mom. So others can have that kind of life. But I would take time off for a baby.”

“Only one?”

“Francis wants several.”

“I wish your father had,” she mutters, the dish sponge squeaking against the inside of a glass. “I’m with your young man on this. The more the merrier, provided you’re doing alright financially. Fill the house, dear. You won’t regret it. It will be the happiest time of your life.” She kisses your cheek. “That’s the last of the dishes. Let’s go find out what our men are up to.”

Your men, as it turns out, are outside in the front yard. Your father sounded like he was giving tips on lawn care. Poor Francis.

“Hey.” You slide your arm through the doppel’s, coming to your fiancé’s rescue. “We’re all done in the kitchen, if you’re ready to head out.”

He nods, shaking your father’s hand, then returning the hug your mother offers before heading to the car. You embrace your parents again, your mother already on her way back inside after bidding you farewell while your father lingers by your side.

“You like him, Dad?”

“He’s different, that one. Something about him…”

A little surge of alarm runs through you. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Just something,” he murmurs thoughtfully, then shakes himself. “One thing’s for certain, though: he’s crazy about you.”

“He is, Dad. And I feel the same way about him.”

“Keep us posted when you set a date. You be careful with those doppels.” His lips graze your forehead and then he retreats indoors.

You settle behind the wheel, glancing over at your fiancé. “What do you think?”

“I think that was stressful, but overall it went well. What did your father say to you just now?”

“That he could see you’re crazy about me.” You lean over and kiss him. “Want to go home and celebrate?”

“Yes. Maybe wait a bit, though. That was a lot of food.”

“My mom always fills the plates like that,” you agree, starting the engine. “You did great today. I’m really proud of you. Really happy.”

“I’m glad, sweet girl. Me too.”

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

***

There’s an advertisement for an event the following weekend sitting on the kitchen table.

The paper had been folded and tucked into the doppel’s work pants, retrieved when you’d been gathering a load of laundry together.

“I forgot about that,” he murmurs apologetically, kissing the patch of skin behind your ear, making you shiver. “It’s a dance. I didn’t know if you wanted to go. Someone on my route gave it to me.”

Social gatherings were few and far between. Dangerous, these days. You generally avoided them.

It’s tempting, though. You’re conflicted again. Wanting to go out with your beau, being afraid of discovery.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Do you have to do the washing right now, or can we…?”

“We can.” You set the basket down and turn in his arms. His hands slide down your back, then shift to stroke over your hips.

“My beautiful girl.” His lips touch yours.

“My handsome doppel.” You return the gesture, your fingers carding through the hair curling at the nape of his neck. He needed another trim.

“Come upstairs with me.”

You follow him eagerly. He pauses midway through unbuttoning his shirt to cup your face between his hands, kissing you. He’s forgotten to undo his shirt cuffs, the sleeves still clinging when he tries to shed the garment. You come to his rescue and he stops you for another kiss. Little by little the clothing piles onto the floor.

Neither of you has switched the bedside lamp on. It’s just the two of you in the darkness. The moon is hiding tonight.

“I love you so much,” he breathes into your ear as he enters you.

“I love you.” You wrap your legs around him tightly, rocking up against him. Gentle movements. Filling you. Withdrawing. Stretched again. Plunging deep. The place where he ends meeting the place where you begin.

“Is it wrong to pray? To ask for something, is it so different than the words we recite before meals, these ones from the heart, will He answer me, a monster…” He whispers against your skin, your hair, musings you’ve mulled over yourself, surely he deserved it, if any did, you know what he wants, what you want, too.

“Ask, love. Ask, I’ll ask too, Francis…”

“Please…” His hips drive against yours. Sheathed faster. Impaled and then not, in rapid succession. His mouth is rough on yours, sliding sloppily off the edges, words half uttered, some in that strange native language of his.

Inside. Pressure. Contractions. An echoing pulse. Liquid heat. Your nails digging into his shoulder. His teeth scraping your throat. Filling you. Breathless kisses before the calm.

***

You don’t typically make small talk with the residents.

There’s always a kind of tension between you, their fates resting in your hands. You were trained to be professionally detached, but that obviously had failed in Francis’ case. Still, you’re gradually warming up to some of the others. The happiness of your relationship making words tumble free easier. Today it is the physicist at your window, Dr. Afton. He adjusts his glasses with a long practiced gesture, shoving them back up the bridge of his nose as you examine his ID and entry request. He is listed for the day and everything checks out. A quick call to his fiancée confirms what you already know. He’s legit. The real deal.

“Have you and Mia set a date yet?” You slide his documents back towards him through the slot.

“Spring, I think. You and Francis?”

“Autumn, maybe.”

“So soon,” he murmurs. His eyes flick down for the briefest of moments and you don’t misunderstand the significance.

“Oh, no, I’m not…I mean, we’re trying, but…” You flush heavily as you stammer. Your attempt at small talk was seemingly backfiring. Maybe it was best to just keep things professional after all. “Anyway, have a good rest of your day.”

The doctor stands looking at you expectantly. “The door?” He prompts gently.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” You hastily operate the door controls and the man leaves the entryway.

Your next attendant makes your face break out in a grin. Your beau has returned.

The replicant milkman deposits his required documents into the slot, grinning back at you. There’s an extra slip of paper there, something torn off his delivery list on the clipboard, perhaps.

I love you

You mouth it back at him. He lays a hand on the window. You match your palm to his, dwarfed by the larger structure.

“How was your day?”

“I made an ass out of myself in front of Afton, but yeah, good. You?”

“Not bad. Can I come in?”

“Uh-huh.” You press the buzzer. Your fiancé doesn’t take the elevator like you’d expected, instead invading the security booth.

“Sir, this is for DDD staff only,” you mock protest.

“Does it count if I’m going to be married to a DDD staff member?”

“Mmm, I’m not sure.” You’re about to step closer to him when you hear someone entering the building. A middle aged man you don’t recognize wearing a suit. The same DDD enameled pin on his lapel. You hurriedly take the papers and ID he offers while the doppelgänger takes a step back, still out of view of the window, near the open doorway.

“I’ll need to call to verify your identity,” you remark. You don’t get visits from personnel other than the cleaners that often, and if you do, you usually get notified first. The man’s face is expressionless. He nods and you proceed, dialing the number of the headquarters.

“Good afternoon. I have someone here from the R&D department. I wasn’t expecting…I see. Alright. Yes, thank you.” You hang up the phone. “They’ve vouched for you. What brings you here today?”

“Something that will revolutionize the screening process, we’re hoping.” He sets a briefcase down on the narrow ledge of the counter, using a key on a cord around one wrist to unlock it before thumbing the latches and opening the case. He lifts an object and places it on the ledge before shutting and removing the briefcase. “This device here emits a frequency that the doppels can’t resist. It forces them to come out of hiding, as it were.”

“How do you know?” You can see your doppel’s body tense in your peripheral vision.

“Oh, a little project we’ve been working on. Sometimes the cleaners bring us gifts. We don’t always exterminate…but I suppose you wouldn’t know that, once the screen goes down. Well, in any case, they’ve made for good lab rats. It’s taken us awhile, but I think this just might be what we need to turn the tide and gain the upper hand.”

“You’ve been experimenting on them,” you whisper, unable to keep the revulsion and horror out of your voice.

“Why not? It’s not like they haven’t taken their own POWs from our side.”

The urge to glance at your fiancé to confirm the truth of this is overwhelming but you resist. “Why would they want to keep us prisoner?”

“I’m sure something unsavory. Food supply. Experiments. Who can say? Disgusting creatures. But I don’t need to tell you about that. You encounter them on a daily basis. A nearly perfect record too, I hear. Only one…mishap.” He grins. His teeth are yellow. You find yourself disliking the man more and more.

“No one was hurt,” you say defensively.

“Thank goodness. Now, to the task at hand. This device is extremely simple to use. It’s already calibrated to the correct frequency. No need to adjust. Simply flip the switch. Undetectable to human ears. But very effective for the doppels. They’ll reveal their true form within seconds. Then it’s just a matter of calling the disposal team. Just think of the applications this will have once this gets approved for mass production. No more fear of the unknown. No more doubts. The ultimate weapon of retaliation.”

Your stomach turns with every sentence he utters. There would be no hiding for Francis. For the baby you would one day conceive. All of the happiness you’d felt earlier evaporates. You grip the edge of the counter as he demonstrates the switch to turn the device on and activate the frequency.

You hear the creak of the wood when the doppelgänger grips the door frame.

“Yes, I see, easy to use. Better conserve the battery, right?” You finally surrender to the impulse to glance over at the invader. His chest is heaving, his teeth razor sharp. Bloodshot eyes that plead with you, the familiar shimmer outlining his true, hidden form appearing.

“That is one of the drawbacks, yes. We’re still working on a more reliable power source.” He flips the switch off and you can’t help but sigh loudly in relief. “I’ve been instructed to tell you that you’re to use it only in cases when there is any doubt. You’ll still be performing the standard screening procedures. But if this has the results that I expect it will, I’m certain this will become the new industry standard. And give us the advantage at last. I’ll be collecting this after a one week trial. I’ll have a questionnaire for you to fill out after you’ve tested it out.”

“Of course.” You plaster a smile on your features, willing the man to leave.

“Shall I bring it to you, or…?”

“No, company policy prohibits anyone from entering the booth that’s not authorized. Technically you haven’t been, so…”

“Quite right. Well, I leave it in your capable hands, then.” The briefcase in hand, he turns and exits the building.

You immediately turn to see Francis’ clone sweating profusely, still struggling to return to human form.

“Francis! Are you alright? Love, it’s okay, I’m here.” Your hands cup the intruder’s face, disregarding the dangerous rows of cuspids stretched wide, peering into the crimson streaked eyes.

He shudders, his hands—claws—closing over your wrists. You’ve never seen him have this much difficulty. What was that evil frequency the scientists had discovered?

“Francis, it’s me. Come back to me, love. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Another violent tremor. Then his grip on you lessens, his eyes clearing, the haze dissipating. The facial features rearrange to form the familiar ones of the milkman.

“Sweetheart,” he manages, his breathing still ragged.

“Yes, Francis. You’re okay.” You wrap your arms around him and he squeezes you tightly.

“The pain, love. You can’t imagine. We have to destroy that. We can’t…”

“We’ll think of something. Tamper with it. Lie about it’s effectiveness. I don’t know. Something.” As wondrous as it would be to have access to technology like that, you couldn’t risk its use for your doppel’s sake. For your future children’s. “I didn’t know they were experimenting on…is it true, what he said? Have the invaders been taking humans prisoner?”

He releases you. “Not my squadron, I promise you that. But yes. It’s true.” He draws in a shaky breath. “I know I said in the beginning I wanted to experiment…now, I would never condone…”

“I know. I know you.” You retrieve the device, deciding to store it in the lockbox under the desk for now. Francis’ doppel gives you a wide berth as you walk around the booth carrying it, backing away as you make the corner. “You should go upstairs and rest. My shift will be done soon.” He nods, still looking shaken. You embrace him again, watching as he steps onto the elevator, then your eyes flick to the lockbox.

A new complication that you didn’t need.

***

Francis Mosses’ apartment is silent that afternoon when you enter.

No record rotating on the player. No meal being prepared on the stove. There is just the doppel seated on the couch, the crocheted blanket draped over the cushions behind him. He hasn’t even removed his work uniform, except for the cap which is resting on the coffee table. He hadn’t locked the door or risen to greet you at it, his tired eyes shifting to watch as you sit next to him.

“Francis, are you feeling alright?” You’re wondering if the device didn’t have some lingering ill effects.

“Fatigued. I’ll be alright. I’m sorry I didn’t get the door for you. I’m still…” He holds out a hand that tremors as if with palsy. You’ve never seen him this ghostly pale.

“Do you have any appetite at all? Should I fix us something, or…?”

“Just stay with me, love.”

You snuggle closer to him, slipping off your shoes and drawing your knees up, tucking your stockinged feet to one side, your fingers stroking his forearm. You’re suddenly feeling tired yourself, the rush of adrenaline from earlier now leaving you feeling sapped of energy. There was a nice breeze coming in through the living room window. Your lover’s arm curls around you. You fall asleep.

It’s dark when you awaken.

You’re disoriented, blinking away the vestiges of a dream you don’t recall the details of. Francis’ doppel is cuddling you. Awake. You can tell by the rhythm of his breathing.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“We both needed the rest.” His lips press against your hair.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Physically, anyway. Mentally…I’m worried.”

“I know. Me too. We’ll figure something out, Francis.” You reach out blindly to find his hand. “Want to do something improper like skip to dessert and have cookies and milk in bed and forget everything for a bit?”

“Hmmm. Are you included in that menu?”

“I can be.”

“Then it’s a deal. Shower first?”

“Definitely.”

His lips touch your forehead. “You always make everything better.”

You’re more concerned than you’re letting on. But you don’t want to focus on that right now. You want the doppel to feel safe, secure. Enjoy the peace you’ve found together for tonight.

You feel him leaning away from you, reaching for the lamp. His condition does appear to have improved from earlier. Healthy color returned. Hands steady. You dig around in the drawer where you’ve stored some spare pajamas while he turns the shower on.

“Don’t fuss too much on what you’re wearing. It won’t be staying on.”

Oh, he was definitely feeling better. “Maybe I’ll just skip it entirely.”

“Now we’re talking.”

You strip off your work clothes, your fiancé already halfway undressed, finishing that task now and leading your into the deluge of warm water. You take a moment to soak your hair, then switch places so Francis’ copy can do the same.

You grab the bar of soap from the shallow ledge on the wall and begin lathering your hands together, working up a cloud of suds that you quickly smear across the cloned milkman’s chest. You take turns washing each other, hands lingering when they reach nipples, buttocks, between legs. You’re pushed gently back against the shower wall, the soap slipping from your grasp. The doppel cups his hands beneath the spray, splashing it over your body, making sure you’re rinsed, lifting one leg and guiding it to rest on the edge of the tub while he kneels down, blinking water out of his eyes, his damp fingers now working against your sex, followed by his tongue, sucking a mouthful of shower water and your clit in one go. You moan, raking your fingers through his damp dark hair, marveling at the feel of that frenzied muscle dividing your nether lips, plunging inside and then swirling around your clit.

You’re thinking of that alien cock of his, the one you’d mostly felt more than saw, and you suddenly crave the feeling of it again. You won’t dare ask him for that tonight, not after what had happened earlier when he’d been forced out of hiding, but another time, you want that in your mouth, back inside of you, fucking you missionary style, driving in deeply. You’re already swollen, dripping, that slick liquid thicker than the water pelting your bodies, a trail he follows with lips and tongue and even teeth, nipping at the soft skin of your inner thighs, the arc of one hip, the crest of your mound before he’s sucking your bud again. He’s leaning into you, offering you a chance to rest some of your body weight, the raised leg shaking as you find a swift release, bursting on his tongue, ripened hive spilling creamy honey before you’re rinsed clean.

He shuts the shower off and you’re barely swiped with a towel before he’s pushing you down into the bed, picking right up where he left off, sliding his erection into the place his tongue and fingers have just vacated.

“What do you want, sweetheart? Tell me, I’ll do anything you want.”

Catering to you. You feel you should be the one making the offer. “I’m yours. I love everything with you. You decide. This is nice. This is…oh…good.” He’s picked up the pace, droplet covered hips kissing yours over and over. The shower water still clinging to him drips from his hair, splashing your forehead, your cheeks, your lips. You think of kissing him that day it rained on your front porch, already falling so fast, so far, Francis the bridge but the doppel the destination, it didn’t feel wrong, it couldn’t, when it was like this between you.

“Sweet girl, you’re so perfect for me.” A word you don’t know, but the tone is in the same vein, affection, lust, breathed beside your cheek, moaned against your throat.

“I want to learn it. All of it. Starting with your name. I love you.” The words are pushed into the mouth that closes over yours, hot breath, that thick cock of his incessantly drumming inside of your womb. You’re lost in the dark of his eyes, in that blissful realm he drags you back into, your body shattering around him, milking him, urging to be mated, claimed, marked as his. He calls you something that sounds almost like wife and you nearly are, bonded to this foreigner that’s crossed galaxies and mapped stars to build a new universe within you, starting with this, that sowed seed, fingers interwoven, cock buried deep, face burrowed in the curve of neck damp from the strands of hair clinging there.

After there is cold milk from the fridge and chocolate chip cookies, melting sweet on your tongue as Francis’ doppel holds you against him, licking at the stray sweet granules clinging to your lips. “Your first lesson,” he begins, and it is him speaking now, the invader beneath, that deeper voice stirring interest in your loins again already, twice sated but still eager for more. “My name is…”

#francis mosses #milkman #francis mosses x reader #francis mosses x you #milkman x reader #milkman x you #thats not my neighbor #the milkman #doppelganger #that’s not my neighbor

[tragedybunny]

Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember - Astarion x F!Reader

Astarion sometimes has trouble sleeping now that he no longer can walk in the sun.

The sun is high overhead, the daylight shining at its brightest, playing off the water dancing in the fountain below the window of your rented room. The inn is nice, the owner a sweet older lady who doesn't ask questions about unusual sleeping habits of guests. Turning back from the window, you draw the drapes over it, shutting off the light from the room. "You need to get some sleep, love." 

Astarion looks up from where he was seated on the bed reading, a safe distance from errant sunbeams and sighs, reluctant even if he's clearly exhausted. "I know, you don't need to fuss over me all the time," he snaps the book shut to accent his peevish tone. You don't respond, giving his temper a moment to cool. Red eyes look down at the floor after a second, "I'm sorry darling, you know I hate it. And it feels worse today."

Ever since he had to go back to life out of the sun, sleeping has been fraught for him. Some days, like today, he's put it off for several days, and he's weary and irritable. "I know." Crossing the room, you take his hands. "It's alright,” your hands squeeze his, “but I really can’t have you on the road to Waterdeep this exhausted.” Despite the way he's changed, Astarion is Astarion, and you love all of him, even the parts that are still hurt and angry. 

“Why couldn’t Gale just teleport us or something? He’s a shit wizard.” You almost retort about him insulting his friends, but then his lips reverently kiss both your hands. "Lay down with me for a little while?" 

"Of course." Letting go of his hands, you wait until he's under the covers and then lay down next to him, arm wrapped protectively over him. 

This has become something of a ritual between the two of you whenever he’s afraid to sleep. Some days he’s afraid he’ll wake back up in Cazador’s manor, some days it’s fear that you’ll be gone when sunset comes, and on others, it’s the memory of faces, lured to their doom in the night. Only once did you make the mistake of walking away after an argument, and leaving him trapped alone in the day. You’d found him after, curled up under a blanket, terrified you’d never come back, knowing he couldn’t even try to find you until after dark. It had taken almost a week to get him to sleep again. Gently, you kiss the top of his head and run a hand through his silver curls. “Love you Sunlight,” his eyes have finally closed and you can feel him relaxing. 

“Love you too, Starry Sky.” Very softly, you start to sing a lullaby, one your favorite Nurse used to sing to you, an ancient tune, passed down for generations. Your noble parents didn’t necessarily make a loving childhood a priority, but you do have more warm memories than him, and this is one of the few ways you can share them. Fingers move from his hair to his back, tenderly stroking it while you sing. The way he responds to the old Elven song, you wonder if someone sang it to him over two hundred years ago, someone who loved him just as much as you do now. 

“Promise you’ll be here when I wake up,” he murmurs, half-asleep at last. 

“I promise Astarion, I’ll always be here.” 

#astarion #bladur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #my fanfiction #my writing #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x f!reader

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 13- There's No Place Like Home

Summary: 6 months ago, Javier Peña quite literally bumped into you and changed your life forever. 6 months later, Javi prepares to ask you to spend your forever with him.

Word Count: 13.2K (reasonable of me tbh)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, massive breeding kink, one use of daddy (in reference to actually being a dad, but STILL), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mentions of food/eating, Javi being a nervous wreck, so many surprises (hehehehehe), literally so much fluff and love and happiness AHHHHHHHHH

A/N: It's here!!! The moment we've all been waiting for since these two lovebirds first met 😭😭😭💖💖💖 I have no words, only loud screams into the abyss bc of how happy and in love these idiots are!!! Thank you to everyone that has been along on this ride, your love and support means more to me than you know 🥺🫶🏻 Also literally not that anyone cares, but I picked May 27th as just a random day when I first started writing, and the way I literally SCREAMED when I found out that Thanksgiving in 1997 fell on November 27th?!?! That, and when I first started, Javi was not proposing until the spring/summer OOPS 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

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November 27th, 1997. 

6 months. 

6 months since the day he quite literally bumped into you. 

6 months since he had first laid eyes on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

6 months since the moment he already knew he was head over heels in love with you. 

6 months of waiting to ask the most important question of his life. 

Because tomorrow, exactly 6 months from the day he had met you, Javier Peña was going to ask you to marry him. 

And he was a fucking nervous wreck. 

It had killed Javi to wait this long. By conventional standards, 6 months wasn’t that long to know someone before you asked them to spend the rest of their life with you, but in all honesty, Javi would have proposed to you 3 months ago after he first got his mom’s ring from his dad. He had never been so sure of anything in his entire life- he wanted to spend forever with you. And now, after what felt like years of waiting, making sure that everything had fallen in place to give you the best proposal he could possibly imagine, the day was almost here. 

Javi wanted everything to be perfect. He needed it to be. You were the most perfect person he had ever met, and to him, you deserved everything, and then some. He wasn’t nervous you were going to say no, or that he was second guessing his decision, Javi was a mess because there was nothing more he wanted than to give you a day you would never forget. 

It was also going to now be a day Chucho Peña never forgot either. After everything had settled into place for Javi to finally start finalizing his plans, his poor dad had now become much more involved in planning a proposal than he ever thought he’d have to be. At this point, he was truly trying his best to not find it humorous how worked up his son had been over it, knowing that there was no way in the world you were going to be anything short of amazed, let alone say no. 

“And you’re sure that you’ve got the-” 

“Javier. This is probably the 14th time you have gone over the plan with me. Yes. I am sure I have everything you need. I have both lists you insisted I take, everyone knows where to be and what to do to help. Take a deep breath, hijo.” Chucho chuckled, taking a sip of his beer as he and Javi sat on the back porch of the Peña ranch, watching the sky slowly fade from bright yellows and pinks to faded blues as the sun dipped below the horizon. 

“Okay. Sorry. I’m uh- Fuck, Pops, I’m nervous as hell.” Javi swallowed, running his thumb along the condensation of his can, anxiously drawing little circles in the water droplets. 

“Really? I can’t tell.” Chucho joked, smirking to himself as he glanced over at his son, bouncing his leg against the chair he was sitting on. “Javier, what is there to be nervous about? It’s not like she’s going to say no.” Javi looked up at his Dad, the worn smile of his wrinkled face bringing him some relief from the nervous state he was in. 

“No, I know. I just- I just want it to be perfect. I want it to be perfect for her. I’ve been thinking about this for so long and now it’s finally fucking here. She deserves everything, Pops. I love her so much.” Chucho reached over, patting his hand against Javi’s shoulder, gently squeezing his fingertips against the soft fabric of his flannel shirt. 

“Javier, it will be perfect because you love her, and she loves you.” Chucho paused for a moment, quietly laughing to himself as he looked over at Javi. “Have I ever told you the story of how I proposed to your mamá?” A mischievous grin grew across Chucho’s face as Javi nodded, taking another swig of his drink. 

“Yeah, you did it at the lake, right?” 

“Yes. But that is the short version of the story, Mijo. I was so nervous when I proposed to your mother, that as we were walking up to the lake so I could get down on one knee and ask her to marry me, I tripped over my own feet and fell right to the ground, and the ring came out of my pocket. I didn’t put it in a box, because I was worried she would see, and so she had to help me find her engagement ring in the grass because I couldn’t find it. Until the day she died, she never let me live it down. But it is still one of my favorite memories of the two of us. It was still perfect. Javier, that girl would marry you if you got down on one knee and asked her in your living room. I have no doubt in my mind that tomorrow will be a day that she will never forget.” 

“Fuck, guess I better add tripping over myself to the list of things I need to worry about, thanks, Dad.” The pair laughed, shaking their heads as Chucho gave Javi one last pat on the shoulder before he placed his hands on his knees, letting out a heavy grunt as he pushed himself up out of his chair. 

“Cabrón (asshole). Now go, you should be spending time with your future esposa (wife) instead of your old man the night before your engagement. I promise, I have everything taken care of.” Javi followed his dad’s suit, setting down his beer before standing up, reaching out to wrap his arms around Chucho in a tight embrace. 

“Thanks, Pops. For everything. Te amo.” 

“Of course, mijo. Te amo mucho. I am so happy for you, Javier. She is such a wonderful woman. I am so glad she is going to be a part of our family. I know that your mamá is smiling down on you- She would have loved her so much, Javier. I love her, too. And now, I’m finally one step closer to mis nietos (my grandchildren).” Chucho playfully nudged Javi as he rolled his eyes, giving his son one last embrace as Javi headed out to his truck. As he turned over the ignition, Javi smiled to himself as he turned up the volume of the Queen’s Greatest Hits album you had picked out from your last drive.

“Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had. Been with you such a long time, You're my sunshine, and I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. Oh, you're my best friend.” 

Javi couldn’t help but let a stupidly wide grin spread across his cheeks as he listened to the lyrics of the track that had begun playing over the quiet crunch of the gravel under his truck tires as he backed out of the driveway to drive home. Because tomorrow? Tomorrow, Javier Peña was going to ask his best friend in the whole world, the woman he loved more than life itself, you, to be his wife. 

Even though it was barely long enough for you to consider it to be a school “break”, you were glad to have today off to prep for your first Laredo Thanksgiving tomorrow. This would be the first time you would ever spend the holiday away from your childhood home, where your family had hosted every Thanksgiving for as long as you could remember. As much as you would have loved to fly back to go see everyone, plane tickets for the long weekend had been ridiculously expensive, and with just going to visit them a month ago for your cousin’s wedding, and future plans to go back to Chicago over Christmas break, your parents had been insistent on the fact that it was okay that you weren’t going to be able to make it home for Thanksgiving. While of course, you had been heartbroken you would have to miss seeing your family, from the moment Chucho found out you were Texas bound for the holiday, he was quick to make sure you felt nothing short of absolutely included in celebrating with the Peñas, even if it was just you, Javi and Chucho. 

Javi still had to work on your day off, so you had spent your free time catching up on chores around the house, taking a well deserved nap and now, you were working on the apple pie you insisted to Chucho bring for the celebration tomorrow, as much as he had tried to convince you that you didn’t need to bring anything. 

Somewhere along the lines of your childhood, it had become a Wednesday before Thanksgiving tradition that your family would watch The Wizard of Oz with your siblings before going to bed (although now as an adult, you had a feeling your parents put it on for you and your brothers so they could get the house ready without the four of you doing any more damage), so it only felt right that you put in on to watch as you waited for your pies to cook in the oven and Javi to get home. You shuffled through your VHS collection under the TV, rummaging around until you pulled out the worn tape, pushing it into the VHS player. After the movie had begun to play, you turned back around, letting out a defeated sigh at the current state of your kitchen. 

As much as you loved baking, it always seemed to feel like a bomb had gone off by the time you were done as you looked around to see bowls, cutting boards and rolling pins in disarray on your counters. You grimaced to yourself looking around at the mess you had made, rolling up the sleeves of Javi’s oversized Texas A&M sweatshirt you had thrown on after you had woken up from your nap. With the way you had set up your apartment when you moved in, you were able to get a good view of your TV from the kitchen, cranking up the volume on your remote so you could listen and quote along to the movie as you worked on trying your best to clean up before Javi came home to your baking tornado. 

At this point, you had seen the Wizard of Oz enough to quote it from front to back, especially as you and your brothers very early on in life had easily determined who got to be each part when you watched together. By default, because you were the only girl, your brothers told you that you had to be Dorthy, which you didn’t mind because you got the main part and to have Todo (Although your favorite family dog, Otis, an overweight yellow lab, wasn’t very pleased about having to be a part of you and your brothers yearly production). Charlie was always the Tin Man, being the oldest and most empathetic out of the rest of your brothers, David was Courage the Cowardly Lion, claiming lions were cool animals and that he was the bravest of your siblings, much to your disagreement, leaving Patrick as the Scarecrow, you and your brothers giving him the title of the smartest idiot you’d ever meet. After finishing washing the dishes, you had moved on to wiping down the counters, pausing and smiling to yourself as you heard the start to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” playing from the TV. You couldn’t help yourself as you began to sing along, swaying back and forth as you lazily wiped up your mess. You were so caught up in singing and dancing to yourself that you hadn’t even heard Javi open the door behind you. 

Javi had quickly come to find out after moving in with you that not only coming home to you, but coming home to find you singing along to whatever CD you had playing as you meandered through the apartment, completely oblivious to his presence, was one his favorite things. There were times he could hear your voice as he went to unlock the door, making sure to open it extra quietly so he could stand in the doorway for a few moments, taking in the warmth and joy that radiated from you as you were lost in your own world. He soaked in every moment, watching every sway of your hip and shake of your head until you realized that he was home, making him just as happy for the big hug and kiss he got from you and your excited giggles as you greeted him.  

He couldn’t quite make out what you had been signing as he carefully turned his key in the lock, gently closing the door behind him, grinning at the image of you dressed head to toe in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, messy bun plopped on your head as you bent over the counter, resting your elbow on the hard surface with your head propped up on your chin. 

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can’t I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why oh why can’t I?” 

Quietly setting down his bag and keys, Javi snuck his way over to the kitchen loud enough for you not be completely startled by his presence, as the song came to an end, making you turn your head over your shoulder to see Javi coming behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist from the back he pressed his chest into your back, making you giggle as he planted quick, soft kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and shoulder. 

“I could listen to you sing all day, Hermosa.” Javi rasped into your ear, playfully shaking you in his grasp. “Wizard of Oz?” He asked, gesturing towards the TV as the movie continued in the background. 

“Really? You want me to sing Days of the Week for you? I didn’t get to sing it today since there was no school, I really need to get my fix.” You retorted, giving Javi a little nudge as he rolled his eyes. 

“Please for the love of God, no.” The both of you laughed as you looked back at the TV, watching Todo escape from the back of Mrs. Gulch’s bike basket. 

“My brothers and I would always watch it the night before Thanksgiving. Not really sure how the tradition started, but figured I’d throw it on. I can turn it off if you don’t wanna watch or put on something else.” You replied, reaching over for the remote. 

“No, keep it on, Osita.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, arms still resting along your hips as he held you. “I can’t fuckin’ tell you the last time I’ve seen this movie. I’m gonna be real honest with you, I never really watched it that much as a kid because the flying monkeys scared the shit outta me.” 

“Seriously? They’re not even that scary. But we can fast forward through the monkey parts, if you need to, ya big bab-HEY!” You shrieked as Javi suddenly turned you around in his grasp so you were chest to chest before scooping you up and plopping you down so you were sitting on the counter. He placed his hands outside your hips, engulfing your body and making you squirm and laugh as he peppered ticklish kisses across your neck and face, trying your best to swat back at him. “Javi stop! You know that tickles!” You squealed, finally grabbing his arms, wrestling with him until he had given up, pressing a sweet, tender kiss on your lips. 

“Oh yeah? Who’s the big baby now?” He smirked, running his hands along your thighs as your legs dangled over the edge of the counter. 

“Still you, because I’m not irrationally afraid of poorly made monkey costumes.” You pointed your finger at him, prodding at his chest. 

“They’re fucking terrifying, Osita. You’re the worst, you know that?” 

“Oh really? You still gonna tell me I’m the worst when I take these apple pies out of the oven?” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest as you nodded over to the stove. 

“Fuck, I knew it smelled good in here. Does that mean I get to-” 

“Don’t you dare even think about trying to sneak a piece of these pies before tomorrow, Javier Jesús Peña! These are for Thanksgiving, and even though there’s only the 3 of us, I still made two because I know if I put a pie down in front of you, you could probably eat the whole thing by yourself, and I am not making another pie after the disaster in this tiny kitchen that I just cleaned up.” You raised an eyebrow at Javi, trying to give him your best stern face, the two of you snickering at each other as you tried to scold him. 

“Fine, fine. No pies.” Javi laughed, holding up his hands in defense. “Not even just a little-” 

“Javi! No!” You shook your head, slapping his arm as he looked back over at the oven before looking back at you, a sly smirk spreading across his face. Grabbing at the meat of your thighs, he slotted himself in the empty space of your legs, spread open as you sat on the counter. His hands quickly slid up towards your waist, creeping under the hem of his sweatshirt you were wearing as he caged his chest against yours, nipping at your neck, his words hot and heavy on your skin. “Javi….” You moaned, tipping your head back as his kisses traveled down to your collarbone and hands tugged at the waistband of your sweatpants. “Javi, I’m gonna burn these pies, I don’t wanna have to make them again or explain to your dad that they’re burnt to a crisp because his son cannot keep his hands off me for more than 30 seconds. They only need to be in the oven for like-” 

“10 more minutes?” Javi quickly cut you off, now beginning to slide your sweatpants down your thighs, firmly pressing his hands along the soft flesh of your now bare legs. “Oh, don’t worry, I saw the timer, Hermosa. Baby, you know I can take care of you in 10 minutes, now I just wanna see how many times I can get you off before the pies are done.” 

“Seriously? You’re timing yourself? Are we placing bets on this too, while we’re at it? You are absolutely ridiculous, Javi, I swear.” You tried your best to roll your eyes, but as his hands crept down, palming the already wet patch that had been growing in your underwear, it was hard to pretend you were even annoyed in the slightest. Your breath hitched as he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, shuffling them down your legs as he placed his hands on the inside of your thighs, pushing them open to reveal the slick of your arousal that had already been pooling between them. Gently, he ran his fingers through your folds, barley grazing over your clit before dropping to his knees, coming face to face with your dripping heat. 

“3.” He said, carefully kissing along the inside of your legs, making his way closer and closer to your entrance. 

“3 what?” You replied, trying your best to stay focused on anything Javi was saying as his nose bumped against your throbbing bundle of nerves, practically feeling his smirk against your pussy as he darted his eyes up at you. 

“3 times. I bet I can make you cum 3 times before the timer goes off.” 

“You’re a fucking menace, Javier Peña, you know that right?” You sighed, gripping your hands against the edge of the counter, feeling your cunt clench, desperate for him to ease the ache between your legs. 

“Only for you, Hermosa. Solo para ti (Only for you).” Javi looked up at you, shooting you a quick wink before licking a broad stroke against your clit, making you gasp and your jaw go slack as you moaned breathlessly. That was all it took before he dove in, a man on a mission to make you cum as many times as he could in the few minutes he had. Your legs draped over his broad shoulders, his fingertips squeezing into the flesh of your hips as his pace became rapid and intense, licking and sucking at your clit in a way that had you writing on the counter, tugging at the dark curls of his hair for any sort of relief. 

“Javi, holy shit baby, oh fuck.” You whined, bucking your hips towards his face and arching your back as he circled around your bundle of nerves, your moans and whimpers only making him press his tongue firmer against you. Even after all this time, there was a part of you that still couldn’t believe how fast Javi could make you cum. He had memorized every twitch, every tug of his hair, every breathy whisper to know what made you fall apart under his touch, loving every second of watching you come undone for him. You could feel the tingling beginning to creep up your legs and into your stomach as Javi sucked at your clit, pulling his head closer to your soaking core, desperate for more. “Please don’t stop, Javi. Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, I- ahhhhhhhhh.” That was all it took before you could feel the waves of pleasure rushing through your body, your pussy throbbing as your orgasm flooded over you, your body trembling at Javi’s relentless pace as he still worked at you as you came. 

“Fuck, you taste so sweet, hermosa. Sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.” Javi smirked, his mustache covered in your slick as he peeked over at the timer counting down on the stove. “7 minutes? Plenty of fucking time, Osita. You want my fingers, pretty girl?” He mewled, satisfied as he stared at the soaking wet mess between your legs, knowing you were still needy for more. 

“Mhmmmmhhh. Please, Javi, please.” You whimpered, your hand still buried deep in the brown locks of his hair, pleading for relief as your cunt clenched around nothing, desperate to be filled. 

“Such a good girl, asking so nicely.” He cooed, slowly pushing his two fingers into your already drenched core, making you gasp at the thickness now filling you, bumping against the soft spongy spot that made your toes curl and your jaw go slack. Already so worked up from just moments ago, as soon as Javi’s mouth was back on your throbbing clit, you could feel yourself beginning to clench around Javi’s hand, arousal pooling in your belly. His fingers slid easily in and out of your heat, his hand and mouth working at a persistent pace as he felt you squirm under him, knowing how close you were again. 

Your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, moaning and panting incoherently as you tensed around the thickness of Javi’s digits, soaking his hand as he feverishly lapped up your slick, only removing his mouth after he knew you had come down from your second high to smirk up at you with a devilishly smug grin. He ran his free hand along your leg, grasping at your thigh as his other hand still slowly pulsed inside you, his fingers curling ever so slightly to the spot he knew would get him to his goal. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t even blame him for self-satisfied smile- Javi knew just as well as you that he knew how to work you in all the right ways to get you exactly where he wanted you. “Gimme one more just like this, Osita. C’mon, sweet girl. Wanna watch that pretty face when you cum. ” You nodded, looking down at the shine of your arousal covering his smirk, knowing that at this point, you were so worked up and overstimulated that just the fingers already inside of you really were all you needed to give him your last orgasm. 

Javi’s fingers had already sunk so deep into your cunt, already so overly sensitive to every push and pull of his hand, that your grasp on the counter had become so tight, you could feel your knuckles turning white. You cried out his name as it fell from your lips, babbling incoherently as the third rush of pleasure crashed over you, gushing onto Javi’s hand as awed at your blissed out state. 

“That’s it, baby. Let it all go, hermosa. Fuck, you look so good like this. Can’t believe you’re all fuckin’ mine. God, you’re so perfect.” Javi carefully pulsed his fingers a few more times as he felt you clench around him, making you hiss as he withdrew his hand now soaked in your slick. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he sucked his fingers clean before rising up off his knees, taking his time to plant soft kisses along your body before grabbing your face, pressing his lips against yours the taste of you still tangy on his tongue. It wasn’t long until the beep of the oven timer was ringing through your kitchen, making Javi’s smug smirk only grow wider. “See? Told you I could do it 3 times before the pies were done.” 

“Jesus Christ…” You swatted at him, trying to catch your breath, the two of you laughing and shaking your heads as he helped you slide down off the counter before pulling your sweatpants back up over your legs, walking over towards the oven. “If you think this was gonna change my mind about you getting a piece tonight, it’s not.” You raised an eyebrow at him, throwing on an oven mitt before reaching in to pull out the pies, sweet and steaming as they rested on the counter. 

“Not even just a-” 

You turned around, trying your best to give him your most stern look without bursting into giggles, making Javi hold his hands up in defense, stopping mid-sentence. “You can have all the pie you want tomorrow, you hungry, horny menace.” You laughed, taking off your oven mitt and pointing it at him. 

Tomorrow. 

He couldn’t help but smile knowing that in less than 24 hours, tomorrow meant a lot more than just getting to eat the apple pies that had just come out of the oven. 

Javi felt like a little boy on Christmas morning. Sleep was an incredibly inaccurate way to describe the anticipated tossing and turning he had done all night, his heart racing excitedly as he counted down the moments until he finally got down on one knee, and asked you to be his wife. It didn’t take much to get Javi out of bed bright and early, his adrenaline pumping through his veins as he planted a soft kiss on the tangled and sleepy waves of your hair as you laid face down, snoring into your pillow, before sneaking out of your room into the kitchen. 

As you shifted over in bed, reaching for Javi to pull him closer to you in your half asleep state, you scrunched your face, blinking as you looked over to find an empty space beside you, the sheets of Javi’s of the mattress left in a tangled pile in his place. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you looked up to see the sunrise creeping through the cracks of your curtains, painting your bedroom walls in golden rays and silhouettes, blowing in the soft breeze from your cracked window. Reaching your arms over your head and letting out a big yawn, you crawled out of bed, shuffling across the carpet of your bedroom to your dresser to pull out another one of Javi’s sweatshirts before opening your door to hear the sounds of sizzling and popping coming from the kitchen. Creeping down the hallway, you peeked your head around the corner to see Javi and his messy, sleepy curls cooking away, working on what seemed to be like bacon and eggs, sitting next to an already completed giant pile of pancakes. 

“Are we having breakfast for 12 this morning?” You giggled, your voice still soft and sleepy as you smiled at Javi, walking into the kitchen and hugging him from behind, snaking your arms around his waist, resting your body against his broad back. “You didn’t have to do all this, Jav. I didn’t know you were getting up to make breakfast this morning, I could have gotten up and helped.” 

Javi set down his spatula, turning to face you, gently cupping your jaw as placed a soft kiss on your lips and forehead, squeezing you in a tight hug. “Good morning to you too, Hermosa. I know you didn’t. I wanted to surprise you and bring you breakfast in bed, but I guess I should have known better that you would be up before then.” He chuckled as you hoisted yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to the stack of pancakes you now noticed were separated by both blueberries and chocolate chips. He reached beside him, handing you the mug of coffee he had poured, gladly taking a generous sip before watching him finish up the rest of the scrambled eggs on the stove. 

“Surprise Thanksgiving breakfast?” You laughed, tilting your head in confusion as you looked over at Javi before reaching down to grab a chocolate chip pancake, taking a bite and letting out a satisfied sigh. 

Javi tried his best to keep calm and nonchalant, giving a little shrug as he scraped the eggs off the pan onto one of the empty plates, handing it over to you. “It’s uh- it’s your first Thanksgiving away from home, I don’t know- I know you love breakfast, I just wanted to make it special for you, I guess.”   

“Well-” You paused, taking a big fork full of eggs, nodding your head as you chewed, “Oh my god these are good-” finally swallowing before finishing the rest of your thought, “You’re very sweet, and I am very, very thankful for you, and your delicious breakfast.” You grinned, leaning over to give Javi a kiss on the cheek on his scratchy, morning stubble as he dropped the rest of the eggs on to his plate, setting it to the side as he hooked his arms under your thighs, making you squeal as you draped his arms around your neck and locked your legs around the small of your back as he spun you around, peppering ticklish kisses against your soft skin. 

“I’m so thankful for you too, Osita. Fuck, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that? I love you so goddamn much.” His sweet, brown eyes locked with yours as your hands ran through the soft curls of his hair before tracing along his cheek, your thumb rubbing soft circles along his jaw. 

“I love you too, Jav. Someone’s feeling sappy this morning.” You prodded, giving him one last quick peck before unwrapping your legs and setting your feet back on the ground, grabbing your plate and heading over to the couch to turn on the TV. Javi looked at the ground sheepishly, feeling the heat creep through his flushed face. 

You didn’t even know the fucking half of it. 

Javi had spent the rest of the morning trying his best to stay as even keeled as possible, but with how fast his heart had been beating since the moment he had gotten out of bed, he was surprised you hadn’t asked if he was having a heart attack as you pressed your head against his chest, cuddling up together on the couch to watch the rest of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade after finishing your huge breakfast. 

“Awh yes!” You grasped at Javi’s shirt, shaking the fist fulls of fabric in excitement as you stared at Santa’s sleigh now making its way across the TV screen. “Christmas time is finally here!” Javi shook his head, laughing to himself at the number of times you had already broughten up how excited you were for Christmas since the day November had started. “Are you gonna hate me if I start decorating and listening to Christmas music tomorrow?” You grimaced, twisting your head to look up at Javi. 

“Jesus Christ, you weren’t kidding, huh? You really wanna start setting out Christmas shit tomorrow?” 

“I will hold off until December 1st if I absolutely have to, but just know, each day that passes until then will kill me slowly.” 

“And I’m the ridiculous one?” 

“Pendejo.” You grumbled, giving him a nudge. 

“You love me. That’s fine baby, I’m honestly impressed you held out this long.” 

“Honestly, it’s only because I actually really do also like Thanksgiving, it deserves it's time to shine, too. Oh, speaking of which, I wanna call my family just to say hi really quick before we start getting ready to leave, is that okay?” You asked, pushing yourself up off the couch. 

“Uh, yeah- yeah of course that’s fine, Hermosa.” He replied, seeming surprisingly flustered by your question. You obviously hadn’t seemed to notice, walking over to grab your phone off the receiver before punching in your house phone number, holding it up to your ear as the dial tone rang repeatedly. A confused look spread across your face as the ringing ended in your mom’s familiar voicemail, giving Javi a puzzled shrug as you left your message. 

“Hi everyone, it’s me! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! I miss you guys! If you try and call and I don’t answer, we’re over at Javi’s dad’s- Javi says hi too. Okay, well if I don’t talk to you later, then tell David not to eat too much gravy so he doesn’t shit his pants again. Love you!” You pressed the red button, ending your call as you set the phone back down. “That’s so weird that no one answered, they should all be home right now.”   

“I’m sure they’re fine, baby. They’re probably just busy. I’m sure you’ll talk to them later.” He smiled, giving your outstretched hand a reassuring squeeze.  

“Yeah, you’re right. We should probably start getting ready, when did your dad want us over again?” 

“He said to take our time, he’ll have food ready whenever we get over there.” 

“Well I feel bad that he’s there waiting all by himself. I’m good to hop in the shower if you are?” You suggested, pulling him up to stand from the couch. 

“Don’t worry about me for the shower, I’ll clean up the rest of breakfast and you can start getting ready, okay?” Javi rubbed his hand along your arm, reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. 

“Jav, you made me breakfast, the least I can do is help clean-” 

“Osita. I know you’d help me clean up. I want to, okay? I wanted to get up and make breakfast for you, I’m not gonna let you clean up my mess.” 

“Fine, Mr. Stubborn. Thank you. You sure I can’t-” 

“Go get your ass in the shower, hermosa.” Javi gestured towards the bathroom, giving your butt a quick smack before heading down the hallway into the bathroom. 

In all honesty, cleaning the dishes was the last thing Javi had on his mind as he was finally able to get you into the bathroom. Once he heard the water on and the shower curtain open, he snuck his way into the bedroom, digging through his sock drawer to pull out the giant sock ball with your ring buried inside it. Pulling the velvet case out of the fabric, Javi carefully opened the box, smiling at the glimmer of the piece of shiny jewelry, picturing how perfect it would look finally wrapped around your finger. He slipped the case into one of the inside pockets of his jacket, squeezing his hand around the fabric, as if to make sure this was actually happening. Quietly, he grabbed his cell phone from his nightstand, dialing up Chucho, anxiously chewing at the inside of his lip as he waited for his dad to answer. 

“Hola, hijo.” Chucho answered, his voice filled with excitement and glee. 

“Hey, Pops. She just started getting ready so I’m guessing we’ll be there in like, an hour and a half?” His dad could practically hear Javi’s nerves and anxiety now beginning to build as the realization that he was hours away from proposing was finally starting to hit him like a ton of bricks. 

“Perfect. Everything and everyone will be ready, don’t worry, Mijo.” Chucho chuckled, trying to ease his son’s tension. 

“Okay.” Javi’s response was short and unassuring as he ran his free hand through his dark curls before resting his hand on his hip. 

“Javier. Tiene planeada un día mas perfecto para ella. Así que respiremos profundamente, todo está yendo bien. A ella le encantaría. Casi tanto como elle te ama.” (Javier, you have planned the most perfect day for her. Take a deep breath, it will all be okay. She will love it. Almost as much as she loves you). Javi took a long inhale, his dad 's words comforting him as his exhale followed. 

“Thanks, Dad.” 

“Claro, hijo (Of course, son). We will see you and your futura esposa (future wife) soon.” 

“Te veré pronto. (I’ll see you soon) Bye.” 

Hearing the water from your shower turn off, Javi rushed back into the kitchen, speed washing every dish and pan to make sure it looked like he had made good on his promise to clean up after himself while you were getting ready in the bathroom. With the dishwasher full and running, Javi made his way down the hall to see you standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wrapped in your towel, and starting to put on your makeup. He couldn’t help but gawk at you- Javi watching you get ready had become a staple in your relationship very early on, the two of you talking as Javi rested his hip on the counter, or sat on the lid of the toilet seat, smiling to himself, in awe of every beautiful part of you. But there was something about the way that Javi was staring at you right now as you peeked your head out of the bathroom that made your heart flutter. It wasn’t the I’d fuck you right now against the bathroom counter look that had become just as much of a staple as Javi watching you get ready, it wasn’t even the sweet, flirty look he’d give you when he just wanted to let you know how cute you were. The way Javi looked at you as you stood there in your fluffy towel, makeup half done and hair wet and tangled from the shower was a look that put butterflies in your stomach. He looked at you like you were the only person in the world. That he didn’t care if anyone else existed beside you. That you were the only person he ever wanted to look at like this. 

“What’s that look for?” You blushed, setting down your mascara to stare back at him. 

“You’re just- Fuck. You’re so beautiful, Osita. Everything about you. I’m so lucky.” Javi’s words were soft and gentle, his sweet brown eyes making you melt as they soaked in every inch of you. 

“Does Thanksgiving always make you this sappy?” You giggled, biting down on your lip before turning back to the mirror. “Thanks, Jav. I hope you know I feel equally as lucky. Now go get your cute butt in the shower so we don’t have to make your dad wait any longer. I need to find the loosest fitting outfit I have so I can make room for when I eat my bodyweight in mashed potatoes.” 

By the time Javi was finished getting ready, you were already out in the kitchen wrapping up the pies you had made last night to safely get to Chucho’s without any sneaky tampering from Javi. 

“Well, you look handsome.” You smirked, watching Javi walk down the hallway in one of his dark washed pairs of tight jeans, paired with a tan button up and black jacket overtop of it. Javi’s jaw just about dropped as he watched you make your way out from around the counter, showing off the cute, burnt orange dress you had put on over your cream colored turtleneck. 

“Me? Jesus Christ, look at you, Osita.” You giggled as you pressed up on your tiptoes, giving him a quick kiss as you draped your arms over his neck. 

“Oh shhhh. Thank you, Jav. You ready to leave?” You smiled up at him, Javi praying you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was racing as he caged his chest against yours, thinking about the last drive he was ever about to make with you before you went from girlfriend to fiancé. 

“I’m ready whenever you are.” 

“Can I trust you to carry the other pie on the way down to the car without eating any of it?” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you reached over the counter to hand him the tin foil covered dessert. 

“Yes, you can trust me. I think I left my phone in the bedroom, let me just go grab it really quick and then we can go, okay?” You nodded at him as he quickly made his way back to your room, cell phone already tucked away in his pants when he put on his jeans 15 minutes ago. He looked over his shoulder to check and make sure you hadn’t followed behind, pulling out the ring box one last time, taking a deep breath before giving it a little squeeze and stashing it back in his pocket. 

It was really fucking happening. 

As the two of you began your drive to what you assumed was Chucho’s, Javi turned up the volume of the CD he had picked out to play in the car, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac now bumping through the speakers. He reached over the center console, intertwining your fingers with his as he grabbed your hand, smiling over at you as the melodic intro began. “This song always makes me think of the first night I ever stayed over at your apartment. All you had to eat was fuckin’ mac and cheese.”

“Oh my God, I remember that. I was so embarrassed because I had nothing else to eat and I didn’t want you to think I was a crazy person who only ate like a 10 year old. God, that feels like forever ago.” Running your free hand over your face, the two of you laughed over the melodic soundtrack playing in the background, the memory of that night making your heart grow warm. 

“I guess. Honestly, it still almost feels like it was yesterday. I just remember how fucking nervous I was the whole goddamn night.”

“With how many times we fucked that night, you really didn’t seem nervous.” You giggled, rubbing your thumb over the rough skin of his hand interlaced with yours. 

“I was. I was so nervous I was gonna fuck something up, because I knew I was already so fucking in love with you, and it scared the shit out of me. No one else has ever made me feel like you do. I knew from that day on I never wanted to live without you.” 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I felt the exact same. We’ve come a long way since then, huh?” The two of you smiled at each other as you leaned your head over to rest on Javi’s shoulder, Javi pressing a tender kiss in your hair, the sweet and familiar smell of your shampoo flooding him with comfort, easing his nerves just a touch as changed course from his usual route to the ranch, making you perk back up in confusion. 

“Since when do we go this way to your dad’s house? We’ve never gone this way before.” You questioned, a puzzled look spreading across your face. 

“I know. Just trust me, okay?” He grinned softly, giving you a reassuring squeeze of his hand. 

“Okay?” You replied wearily, giving Javi a suspicious look. “What the hell are you up to?” 

“Osita. Just trust me.” 

“Fine, I should know better than to ask questions at this point, I know you’re not gonna tell me anything. Do I get a hint?” 

“No, you dork.” 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled, resting your head back against Javi as he drove the two of you down an unfamiliar path, the sounds of Fleetwood Mac filling the comfortable silence between you. 

It wasn’t long until the road you were on started to become vaguely familiar, peeking out the window of the truck to try and piece together why your surroundings felt so recognizable. It wasn’t until you saw the white “For Sale” sign, now covered with “SOLD” in bright, red letters, peeking out of the tree lined driveway that you began to put two and two together.  

“Wait… Isn’t this the place that we went to go see for Steve’s friend a couple weeks ago?” You asked, looking back at Javi as he slowed the speed of the truck, beginning to turn into the driveway. 

“Mmmhhmm.” Javi nodded, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. 

“It- It looks like he must have bought it, so why are we back here? Are you sure he’s fine with us just like, showing up here?” You were absolutely stumped as to why you were back at the plot of land you had gone to check out for Steve’s friend after his Halloween party until you rounded the corner along the “For Sale” sign. 

“Yeah, I think he’ll be okay with it.” Javi smirked, gazing over at you. 

Then all of a sudden, it hit you like a ton of bricks. 

The conversation you had overheard between Javi and Steve at the Halloween party. 

The reason why he had asked you to come look at this place for Steve’s buddy. 

Why “SOLD” was plastered over the for sale sign.  

You could physically feel your jaw drop, hanging open so wide, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it had dropped through the floor of Javi’s truck. Your eyes grew as you looked over at Javi, your head darting back between him and the trees lining the driveway, practically frozen in shock. 

“Javi…” You whispered, your breath shaky and trembling from the butterflies building in your stomach. His silence had never felt more comforting, simply smiling back at you before putting the truck into park, hopping out to make his way to the driver’s side, opening the door for you. You quickly wiped your palms against your dress, feeling how sweaty they had become from the nerves building inside you before sliding out of your seat, walking hand in hand with Javi the last few feet down the driveway before the trees opened to the open, grassy field hidden behind it, just as charming and beautiful as you remembered it. 

You had been so focused on the view in front of you, you hadn’t even noticed Javi tugging your hand over towards the old oak tree on the side of the property, wrapped in twinkling string lights and pictures of the two of you. Under the tree, a big plaid blanket laid spread across the grass, covered in piles of cute pillows and surrounded by a few candles and vases of beautiful orange and red flowers resting on the ground. You felt your heart race, knots of anticipation building in your stomach as you quickly began to realize the “SOLD” sign wasn’t the only thing Javi was trying to surprise you with. 

Holy fuck, he was going to propose to you, too. 

You used every last brain cell in you to try and form anything close to a coherent sentence, but the best you could get out as the two of you reached the blanket under the towering tree was a jumbled mess of tangled words, spilling from your mouth. “Javi- What, are- Baby, is this- Javi, I, I- Holy shit.” Your hands trembled as you reached out for one of the pictures hung around the base of the tree- One Chucho must have taken one of the days the two of you were out on the ranch, Javi carrying you on his back as the two of you laughed at each other with stupid grins on your face. You could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest, tears already beginning to well behind your eyes as you looked up at Javi.

“That one’s always been one of my favorites. You look so happy, Osita.” He whispered, rubbing his hand along your back as the two of you stared at the photo, Javi pressing a soft kiss against your head, letting out a shaky exhale as he pulled away. Grabbing your hand, he turned towards you, the Adam’s apple of his throat bobbing as he swallowed, trying to compose himself before he spoke again. “All I ever want is for you to be happy, baby.” 

You let out an audible gasp, covering your trembling hands over your mouth as you watched Javi lower himself down onto one knee, tears welling behind those sweet brown eyes as he smiled up at you with that familiar gaze you realized you would now never have to live without. 

“Osita. Baby, you make me the happiest man in the world. I don’t think I ever truly understood what it felt like to be this happy until I met you. I couldn’t be more thankful that your clumsy ass bumped into me all those months ago, because there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I’ve met you that my life hasn’t been better, because you’re in it. You’re everything I never knew I needed, and everything I never thought I deserved. You are the most beautiful, kind, and loving woman I’ve ever met. You’re also the most stubborn, headstrong, independent woman I have ever met, and I love every perfect part of you that makes you the person I feel head over heels in love with.  From the moment I met you, I couldn’t imagine how I could spend the rest of my life without you. I wanna spend forever with you, Osita. I wanna give you the world. I wanna start our lives together here. I wanna build you a house, I wanna fill it with as many kids as you want, I wanna spend the rest of my life here with you, because if I have that, that’s all I’ll ever need. You’re all I’ll ever need.” 

Javi’s hands shook as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the little velvet box that had been hidden inside, carefully opening the case to reveal the beautiful, oval cut diamond, nestled between little clusters of smaller stones, resting on top of a dainty and simple gold band. You could feel the tears streaming down your grinning cheeks, still trying to comprehend what was happening as Javi held the ring up towards you. 

“Osita, I love you so much. Te amo más que a mi vida (I love you more than life itself). Baby, will you marry me?” 

Javi could barely finish the question before you were jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could, sobbing into his shoulder as the two of you fell onto the blanket, bodies tangled in each other as you laid on top of him. 

“Of course. Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot. I love you so much.” 

You laughed through your tears, grabbing his face, your lips meeting in an electric moment that made everything else around you stand still. You could feel each other’s grins against your parted mouths, laying back down on top of Javi squeezing him as tightly as you could to try and ground yourself in the reality of what had just happened. 

“I think I’m supposed to put the ring on your finger now, you dork.” He laughed, pushing you both to sit up as he grabbed the case that had landed next to him on the blanket, cautiously taking out the ring, his thumb rubbing over the knuckles of your outstretched hand as he slipped onto your finger, the both of you staring at it in awe. 

“Javi… Baby, holy shit this is beautiful. How did you- When did you-” 

“It was my mom’s.” He grinned, biting down on his lip as he watched the ring sparkle on your finger before looking back up at you, the tears now building in both your eyes again. “When uh- In the end, before she passed, she always told me if I ever found someone, I could have it. I kinda wrote it off because I didn’t think I’d ever find anyone, let alone find you. I know I never really asked you what you wanted or liked, but-” 

“Javi. It’s perfect.” You cupped his cheeks, your face beaming with joy as you shook your head still in absolute shock. As if the ring on your finger wasn’t enough, you looked back out at the green grass swaying in the gentle breeze, reminded of the fact that not only did Javi want you to be his wife, but this man had just told you he was about to build you a fucking house. “You really bought this? We’re gonna build a house here? This is all ours?” 

“It’s all ours, Hermosa. Whatever you want, baby, I’ll build it for you.” Javi's face lit up watching the excitement radiating from you, your eyes darting back between the ring on your finger and the beautiful plot of land in front of you, trying to take everything in. 

“You’re being serious? Like actually? We’re really gonna build a house here?” You asked, still trying to process. 

“Yes, seriously.” Javi nodded, smiling at you as you shook your head in disbelief, burying your head in your hands and squealing before shooting up, running over to the middle of the empty plot grass, spinning in a circle, imagining the possibilities of what was to come. 

“So we can have a big kitchen? And huge windows so it’s always sunny inside? And a porch on the back deck that we can watch the sunset? And a-” 

“Baby, we can have whatever you want.” Javi chuckled to himself as you stood there for a moment, taking it all in before running back over to him, once again, tackling him to the ground pressing frantic kisses against his lips. 

“We can finally have a bedroom big enough for a king size bed? Where we can hang out all day? And watch the sunrise? And have plenty of space to fuck my husband?” You smirked, feeling Javi’s cock twitch against the denim of his jeans as you laid on top of him. Javi let out a low groan as you hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to palm at the bulge straining against his zipper. 

“Say it again.” He rasped, planting hot, wet kisses along your neck, nipping at your skin. 

“My husband. You’re gonna be my husband, Javier Peña.” 

Husband. 

Oh fuck, did that do something to do him hearing you say that out loud.  

Grabbing you by the hips, he quickly flipped you over, your back resting on the blanket as he hovered over you, trailing kisses down every inch of your body before his palms pushed up the hem of your dress, grasping at the meat of your thighs. He cupped his hand against your core, already feeling the wetness that had begun to pool in your underwear, carefully hooking his fingers under the waistband before sliding it down your legs. 

“Again, baby. Say it again.” He mewled, running his fingers between your folds, collecting your arousal as his thumb circled around your clit, making your breath shake as you spoke again. 

“Husband. Fuck, Javi, I’m gonna be your wife.” 

Now that, that one really did something to him. 

“You’re gonna be my fucking wife.” Javi’s tongue darted between his parted lips as he sunk his two fingers deep inside you, making you moan beneath him. “I’m gonna be your fucking husband. I’m gonna take such good care of you, Osita. I’ll give you everything. Anything you want, Hermosa, I’ll give it to you.” His touch had you writing, bucking your hips against his hand as he thumbed at your sensitive bundle of nerves. His fingers curved ever so slightly, pressing against the soft spongy spot that made your pussy throb even more intensely than it already was. Javi’s forehead rested against yours, your noses brushing against each other as your words escaped from the soft, smirking curve of your lips, thinking about Javi’s promise. 

“Anything? You’re gonna give me a house, your last name…you gonna give me a baby, too? Make you a husband and a daddy?” 

Holy shit, you were really trying to fucking kill him. 

Just the thought of that alone was enough for Javi to let out an audible groan, biting down on his tongue and taking a deep breath to compose himself so that he didn’t bust right that second. “Jesus Christ…” he growled, quickly removing his fingers, already soaked with your juices, making you whimper at the rapid loss.  Frantically, he undid his belt buckle, sliding his pants and boxers down his thighs to reveal his already hard cock, his tip red and leaking with precum. That was all it took before Javi was stroking himself, lining his tip up with your entrance and flushing his hips against yours, feeling his length bottom all the way out against your cervix, making you whine at his fullness inside you. You’d be lying if you said the idea alone hadn’t made you so wet and worked up, that even though Javi had barely spent any time working you open with his fingers, he still slid into your heat effortlessly.  

“Fuckkkk meeee, Osita.” He grunted, already beginning to press into you at a rushed, sloppy pace. You had come to find out that while Javi had impressive stamina, there were times that the little things you said or did to him made him absolutely lose his mind. It would leave him so worked up and on edge, that his endurance flew out the window, barely standing a chance at lasting more than a few quick minutes buried inside you. Given your comment, the rate he was snapping his hips into yours, and that all too familiar lustful look in his eyes, you already knew he was a goner. 

You grasped at fist fulls of his jacket, digging your fingers into the fabric as Javi punched deep into the spot that made your vision go white, feeling your cunt already beginning to clench around his cock as he rubbed his fingers frantically along your clit. “You want me to give you a baby, Osita? Shit- I’ll give you as many babies as you want. We’ll fill up every fucking room in this house. I’d fuck a baby into right now if I could. You’d like that, huh?” Javi hissed through gritted teeth, his strokes rapid and punishing as he punched against your g-spot, watching you whimper beneath him. 

“Fuckkk, yes, Javi- ahhhh- Jesus, I want it so bad. I want everything with you, baby.” 

“Fuck, Hermosa, I’m close- I can feel how close you are too, baby. So tight and wet. Give it to me, Osita. Want you to cum all over my cock before I fuck you full of me.” With a few more strokes, you could feel the tingle building at the base of your spine as your orgasm ripped through you, euphoria flooding through your veins across your body. Your moans and cries as you tightened around Javi’s dick had him moments away from coming undone just as fast as you had, his rambling becoming just as fast and boundless as his last few pumps inside of you. 

“Fuck, you’re gonna be such a good wife- oh shit- such a good mom. I can’t until we can have a family to raise here- I can’t believe-ahhhh- I can’t believe your mine forever. Can’t believe I get to marry you, fuck a baby into you, holy shit, fuck, fuck- ohhhhhhh-” With one final thrust, Javi buried himself deep in your hilt, milking himself of every last drop of his spend, slumping into you, your chests rising and falling in unison as you both came down from your blissed out highs before pulling out from the wet mess between you. 

“Well fuck me…” You giggled, running your hand over your face, smirking back up at Javi. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Osita. I’d apologizing for fucking busting so quick, but goddamn, if you keep saying shit like that, I swear…” The two of you laughed, Javi picking up the hand covering your face, kissing the ring now wrapped around your finger before leaning down to meet your lips in a long, tender kiss. 

“You liked that, huh?” You smirked up at him, biting down on your lip as he nipped at your ear, his voice low and raspy as his hot breath pressed against your skin. 

“Baby, if you keep talking like that, I swear to God, I’m gonna find a way to beat your birth control and fuck a baby into you right this second.” 

“I meannnnn, I wouldn’t be mad about it. You better stop saying shit before I run home and toss my birth control pills out the window, never to be seen again. No, no, this is bad, Jav! We aren’t even married yet, Jesus! We cannot be talking like this until we at least make that happen and we build this house. One step at a time.” You sighed, shaking your head and laughing to yourself as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear before swiping his thumb along your bottom lip. 

“One step at a time.” He repeated, softly gazing into your eyes, his sweet chocolate brown stare making you melt beneath him. “I love you so fucking much, Osita.”  

“Te amo hasta la luna y de regreso, Javier Peña.” (I love you to the moon and back). I still can’t believe you did all this for me. I would have been happy with anything, but a proposal and surprise house combination is pretty fuckin’ tough to beat. Thank you, Javi. For everything. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I honestly still can’t believe this, oh my God.” 

“There’s still one more surprise.” Javi grinned, his comment making you sit up in shock. 

“Javi. Seriously? How could there possibly be any more surprises? Did you get me a fucking unicorn too?” 

“Last one, I promise.” 

Javi grunted as he pushed himself up to stand, extending his arm down to you to help pull you towards him. You couldn't help but wrap your arms around him, squeezing your body against the warm familiar space of his, staring out into the blank canvas that would be yours and Javi’s home. The two of you stood there for a moment in silence, smiles stretched wide across your faces as you held each other in the crisp November breeze, feeling like the only two people in the world to exist. No one but you and him. You had Javier Peña forever, and you were never letting go. 

As you had finally come to grips with the reality of what had just happened on the actual car ride over to the Peña ranch, you could feel your head spinning with questions as to how in the world Javi had managed to pull all of this off. 

“Wait okay, so when did you get the ring? You hid it really well, I had no idea you even had it.  Did you set all of this stuff up? When the hell did you go buy this beautiful piece of land we’re about to build a house on? How long have you been-” 

“Jesus Hermosa, one at a time.” Javi chuckled, resting his hand on your thigh to try and slow your interrogation as he drove.

“Sorry, sorry. I still can’t believe you did all of this, I wanna know all the details now! Okay, the ring- I’ll start there. God, it’s so pretty.” You beamed, holding out your hand in front of you to stare at it. 

“I got it from my dad after my birthday party. Believe me, I would have done this sooner, but all the stuff with buying the fucking land was a pain in my ass, and took way longer than I thought it was going to. I put the offer in right before we left for Chicago, and didn’t close on everything until like 2 weeks ago. ” Javi sighed, shaking his head. 

“Yeah Jav, I’m SO upset you didn’t get this beautiful piece of land to build our dream house on and propose to me a few weeks sooner, I’m calling it all off.” You joked, your voice oozing with sarcasm as Javi rolled his eyes at you. 

“Pendejo.” 

“Hey, you’re the one who asked to marry me. When did you decide building a house was gonna be a part of this whole plan?” You asked, smirking over at Javi, giving him a little nudge across the center console. 

“For a while now. I looked at a few houses after I got the ring, but nothing felt right. My dad built our house on the ranch when he and my mom got married, and after talking with him, it was the only thing that made sense. I want our house to be everything we want. Everything you want.” He smiled, tracing his thumb in soft circles along your leg. 

“Javi, we could live in a cardboard box together and I would be happy. I don’t care as long as I’m with you. Although, I’m not mad about it.” The both of you laughed to yourselves, stupid grins on your faces. “So like, are you gonna build it? Not that I don’t trust your construction skills, but that seems like a lotta house for one man.” 

“Jesus, no. My cousin Danny’s a contractor- I talked to him when I was thinking about doing all of this. He helped me find the place and already agreed to start building whenever we’re ready. I told him obviously we would help whenever we could, and my dad has already offered to help too- he’s about to be over there every day, because he’s convinced the sooner the house is built, the sooner he gets his grandkids.” 

“I think he may be the most excited out of anyone.” You giggled, shaking your head. “So he obviously knows about all this? Did he help with setting everything up?” 

“Yeah, he had some help too.” Javi smiled as the two of you pulled into the driveway of the Peña ranch, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the horizon, the golden rays spilling in through the windows of his truck as he shifted it into park. He quickly got out, hopping around to your side of the car to open your door, taking your hand and helping you down after planting a soft kiss on your lips. 

The two of you walked hand in hand up to the house, giddy with excitement to finally talk with Chucho about everything Javi had surprised you with today, almost forgetting that the 3 of you still had Thanksgiving to celebrate on top of everything else. “Oh shit, the pies!” You exclaimed, getting ready to run back to the truck before Javi grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. 

“I’ll go get them in a minute, let’s go inside, okay?” He insisted, dragging you back towards the house. 

“Javi, it’ll take like 2 seconds, I-”

“Ostia. Just go inside, okay?” 

“Fine, fine!” You laughed, reaching your hand down to twist open the doorknob, looking up at Javi’s boyish grin. “I just don’t understand why-” 

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, THEY’RE HERE! AHHHHHHH HONEY!” 

You stood there for a moment, wondering who the hell was screeching at the top of their lungs, ambushing you in a hug that felt more like a death grip than anything else. It took a second before you processed the all too familiar voice and arms wrapped around your body, making your heart race and tears begin to fall down your face. 

“Wait, wha- Wait Mom?! What are you-”  

“Oh sweetheart, oh my God! BOYS! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE! COME CONGRATULATE YOUR SISTER.” Your Mom shouted over your shoulder, still squeezing you in her arms, shaking you frantically. “JAVI, HONEY, AH WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” Your mom shrieked, pulling Javi in for just as tight of a hug as the one you had just gotten a few seconds earlier before turning back to you, squeezing you again. 

“Wait, everyone- Mom, what the fuck? What are you- wait, what are you all doing here?” Finally beginning to come to, you pulled away from your mom to see not only Chucho, but your dad, brothers, and nieces all smiling back at your awestruck face. 

“Language honey, Jesus, just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you get to swear at your mom.” She swatted at you, rolling her eyes. 

You took another step back as your eyes darted between Javi and your family, your jaw hanging open in absolute shock. “But when did you- how did- Wait, what is happening?” You ran your hands through your hair, head swiveling back and forth, looking for someone to explain how the hell your family had ended up here, at the Peña Ranch in Laredo, Texas. 

Shuffling up behind your mom, your dad greeted you, pulling you in for a quick hug and little noogie on your arm before doing the same to Javi, standing between the two of you as he spoke. “Once this kid knew when he was gonna propose, he wanted to find a way for us to be there. He knew how much you didn’t wanna miss Thanksgiving, which I don’t fucking understand, I thought you were gettin’ a get outta jail free card from these idiots,” He gestured over at Charlie and David, shrugging in agreement before turning back to you, “Javi asked if we wanted to come down here for Thanksgiving so we could celebrate it and spend it with you. You found a good one, kiddo.”  

“Congrats, asshat. If there’s hope for you, then there’s hope for us all, isn’t there?” David snickered, giving you a playful punch before patting you on the back for a hug. 

“To say there’s hope for you is generous.” You smirked at David, elbowing him back as Olivia squealed, running up to you with her arms outstretched, her patience running out as she waited for the grownups to finish talking. 

“AUNTIE BEAR!” 

“Cutie patootie!” You shrieked back, picking her up and spinning her around. 

“Auntie Bear, did Mr. Javi do the surprise? Did you know that Mr. Chucho has cows?! And horses!? I got to go pet one and Brianna did too, but she was scared and cried, but I didn’t ‘cause I’m really brave!” Olivia beamed, giggling as you gave her one last twirl as you set her back down. 

“You got to go see the animals? Aren’t they so cute? Yes, Mr. Javi did the surprise, it was a really good one.” You smiled back at Javi, tears welling in your eyes, wondering how your heart could feel any fuller. 

“This niñita y su hermana (little girl and her sister) took very good care of the animals this afternoon. Gracias, peque (thanks, little one).” Chucho grinned, reaching down to give Olivia a gentle high five as she bounced in excitement before looking back up at you. “Oh mija. I am so happy for you both. Your family is a hoot, I will tell you that. I see where you get your spunk from.” All of you laughed as you wrapped your arms around Chucho.

“Mr. Peña, that’s a very nice way of calling us the biggest bunch of annoying idiots you’ve ever met, so thank you.” Charlie remarked, making everyone laugh equally as hard as he leaned against you, holding your other niece, Brianna as he ruffled your hair. “I’m so happy for you, Cubby. Natalie says she wishes she could be here, but with the baby, she couldn’t make it out.” 

“I’d ask if she was mad, but considering you got these two little monsters and yourself out of her hair, I’m guessing she’s kind of relieved. Tell her we’re excited to meet baby Lucas at Christmas. Thank you, Charlie.” 

Now that you had finally said hello to everyone, you turned back around to look at Javi, the look on his face only slightly smug as he winked at you, shaking your head back at him in disbelief. “You are absolutely insane, you know that?” You tried to laugh through your tears, caging your chest against Javi’s as you hugged him, wondering how in the world you had ended up so goddamn lucky. “Thank you, Javi. This is- I can’t- I don’t even know what to say. I love you so much.” Javi reached down, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face as he cupped his hand around your jaw, smiling out at your family before back down at you. 

“I told you, Osita. You deserve everything. I’m glad I get to spend forever trying to give it to you. I love you too.” He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips, quickly interrupted by the sounds of Olivia’s disgust at the two of you. 

“Ew, that’s really gross. Auntie Bear, do you have to kiss him now because you’re getting married? Maybe just do that when I’m not here.” She grimaced, covering her eyes and sticking out her tongue. Your family burst out in laughter, only to be interrupted once again by your mom’s excited screams. 

“MARRIED! Honey, you’re getting MARRIED!” 

“Jesus, Pam! I’m right here! You’re gonna blow out my fuckin’ ear drum!” Your dad winced, covering the sides of his head with his hands. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re getting married.” You replied to your mom, without breaking your stare up at Javi, your cheeks warm and full from the grins between them. 

The rest of the night was spent full of joy and laughter as all of you gathered in the Peña’s kitchen for Chucho’s Thanksgiving feast, telling your family all about the surprises of your day, listening to them explain their antics of getting from Chicago to Laredo, how they had spent the day with Chucho at the ranch after helping set up for the proposal, and stories of Thanksgivings past, and the sweet memories of the family you’d wished could have been here to celebrate. The hours passed by like seconds as you ate more than your fair share of food, (excluding the pie you had made, considering Javi and your brothers practically inhaled it from the moment it was set out on the table), and laughing harder than ever as your family taught Javi and Chucho how to play “Chaos Cutlery”- your family’s version of the game “Spoons”, which wasn’t really that much different besides the element of danger involved with your competitive-ass siblings.

 You truly didn’t think that your heart could get any fuller as you looked around to see all of the people you loved more than anyone in the world all gathered in once place, celebrating the happiest day you had ever had with the man you were going to get to call yours for the rest of your life. As the hours of the night grew later and later, you found yourself fighting off the sleep from your amazing, but exhausting day, not wanting the dream that had been today to come to an end. It wasn’t until Javi noticed you softly snoring against his shoulder as you were sitting on the couch, realizing the only ones left awake were him and your brothers, deep in an argument about who would win in a fight between 100,000 chickens and 10 dinosaurs, that he realized that it was probably time to get you home. 

“Hermosa.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Baby, let’s get you home, okay?” 

“I’m awake. I don’t want today to be done.” You grumbled, half-asleep, eyes still closed shut as you curled into Javi’s lap. 

“Osita, it’s 1 in the morning, everyone else is asleep too. Your family’s here all weekend, baby, I promise we’ll get to spend lots of time with them, we gotta get you home before I fall asleep, too. C’mon.” He chuckled to himself, watching you scrunch your face, trying to wake yourself up as he helped to pull you off the couch. Javi tried his best to say goodbye to his dad to let him know you were leaving, even though he had already been sound asleep for the past hour in his chair with Olivia and Brianna on either side of him, the trio up well past their usual bedtime. Javi's heart fluttered at the sight, watching the fabric of your families lives intertwining to become one, fitting perfectly together. After you and your family said your half coherent goodbyes for the night, Javi helped hoist you up into the truck before the two of you headed back to the apartment. 

Curling over the center console to rest your head against Javi’s shoulder, a sleepy smile spread across your face tangling your hand in his as he traced gentle circles with his thumb along your skin. 

“Javi…” You mumbled, your eyelids heavy with sleep as your blinks grew slower and slower. 

“Yeah, baby?” 

“This was the best day I think I’ve ever had in my entire life. No, I know it was the best day I’ve ever had in my entire life. I can’t believe you wanna marry me. And build me a house. And that you made sure my family was here to celebrate. I love you so much, Javi. Thank you for everything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”��

“Today’s the best day I’ve ever had too, Osita.” He grinned, pulling your intertwined hand with his up to his mouth, pressing a tender kiss on your knuckles. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you too, Hermosa. I can’t imagine it without you. Te amo con todo mi corazón (I love you with all of my heart).” Javi let out a content sigh, pausing for a moment, waiting for response. It didn’t take him long to realize that you were already back asleep, the sweet sounds of your snores against his sleeve making him laugh to himself. “Dulces sueños, mi amor. Soy el hombre más afortunado del mundo. (Sweet dreams, my love. I am the luckiest man in the whole world.) 

As Javi spent the rest of the drive with you propped up against his arm, he couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful gold band wrapped around your finger, resting in his lap.

Before you, Javier Peña didn’t really have much to live for. He didn’t think he’d deserved to. He was tired and broken, disappointed in the man that he had become. Now, you had become his everything. His light, his hope, the thing that made life worth living. You had taken his broken and battered pieces and put him back together. You had made him whole again. On a Wednesday in May, Javier Peña had fallen head over heels with you, the woman who would forever change his life for the better. And on Thursday in late November, the woman who had forever changed him, was now his forever, too.

 Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd

#pedro pascal #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #narcos fic #javier peña narcos #javi pena #javi peña x reader #javier pena #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #javier pena fluff #javier pena imagine #javier pena narcos #javier pena smut #javier pena x f!reader #javier pena x female reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña fic #pedro pascal narcos #pedrohub #pedro pascal characters

[baizhoobies]

Good Morning! “Waking up with…” gn!Headcanons

Request: Hey!!! How are you? Can I request morning headcanons with Sigma, Bram, Kunikida and Fyodor? Can be suggestive if you want. Thank you have a good day!

A/N: Hiya! thank you for the request :3 I am doing okay thank you for asking! Also one last thank you to those in the requests queue who are waiting! I love and appreciate you

Warnings: suggestive, swearing, mostly fluff and sweet domesticity, 18+

Including: Sigma, Bram, Kunikida and Fyodor

Sigma

- Okay to start off with, lets say you both live in the casino together, he has one of those fancy VIP looking rooms

- your bed is ridiculously comfy, as the manager/owner, he has to have a good nights rest (plus working in the DOA the man needs some good fucking sleep)

- Sigma is enamoured with you, he wants nothing more than to be with you and to express his love for you, so he will make sure you are at your most comfort, with your preferred duvet covers, pillows, the works

- He looks like a sleeping beauty whilst he sleeps, so if you are the first to wake up and look at him… if you weren’t madly in love with him, you are now

- clingyyyyyyy

- super clingy, the man doesn’t know what home is but he knows he is at home with you. Keeping that in mind, he will probably prefer to be the big spoon, holding you tightly like some sort of teddy bear

- If he is the first person to wake up whilst he is the big spoon, he will probably try to wake you up with kisses on your neck and shoulders

- though I won’t lie, if you roll over in your sleep to become the big spoon, he will love that just as much

- knowing that you love him and wish to embrace him is enough to make his heart flutter and feel even more at home with you

- he loves the way you smell, your soft breaths and the way your skin feels against his own; soft and warm

- probably keeps a pillow or something and sprays it with your perfume so if you are away for any reason, he can sleep a lot better whilst thinking of you

- I can’t see him being the most active person in the morning, he will definitely want an extra 10 minutes. Even if you want to get out of bed, he just wants to cuddle and how can you refuse his puppy dog eyes?

- Probably doesn’t engage in anything sexual though, at least not in your sleep unless you talk about it prior. Though in saying that, if you have breasts, he will hold onto them like some sort of stress toy, or out of comfort

- I am picturing him doing this, half awake but the moment he hears your moans in your sleep, he’s only going to keep doing it until you are awake 🤭

Bram

- oooh boy, okay I am going to take liberty and allow Bram to have all of his limbs, maybe this scenario is before the events of BSD?

- If you are both vampires, its natural that neither of you will be awake in the morning as ya’ll sleep all day. So I am going to assume your mornings are actually in the evening after sunset

- Not that either of you are allergic to the sun (as seen in the anime/manga) but its a vampires natural sleeping pattern to sleep during the day, and I assume he did when he was living in his estate in Europe.

- He will most likely wake up out of hunger than anything else. You guys could sleep for centuries if you wanted, so the only reason to wake up is to feed, and perhaps spend time with you

- I am gunna say that ya’ll rest in a double sized coffin (yes, they exist) you are his partner after all and wishes to hold you close

- probably will have anxiety if you were in another coffin

- he’s a gentleman, if he wakes up first he will pull you closer and purposefully rest your head on his chest. In one manga panel its seen that he has claws? Or long nails? Will draw circles into your back/shoulders, humming contently as he does so

- if you guys are spooning, he will kiss your spine and your shoulders, but he will only really do this if he is in the mood… might even sneak a hand around and have a cheeky little touch~

- if you aren’t a vampire, he will probably follow your sleeping patterns. Ain’t no way is he going to wake up whilst you go to bed, nuh uh.

- nothing much would be different except Bram being a little dramatic in the mornings

- Like he will say some shit like “human, you have disturbed my slumber, why must your weak bodies-” promptly tell him to shut up and give him a kiss, he will soon shut up

- he will convince you to sleep longer, or at least lay there with him so he can sleep some more

- promise to make out with him, or wake him up if ygm, this may convince him to wake up and indulge 🫡

Kunikida

- So this man ensures that he gets 7 hours of sleep every night; its essential for him to feel refreshed and ready for when he wakes up in the morning. He the type of guy who will wake up immediately at the sound of his alarm, get out of bed, shower etc.. all according to his notebook

- HOWEVER

- Ever since you moved in, he's found himself becoming.. sloppy with his schedules

- Kunikida doesn't strike me as the guy to enforce his schedule onto his s/o, the word 'no' is a foreign word to him when it comes to you

- So lets say his alarm goes off in the morning, he goes to turn it off and get out of bed, but oh no! Your legs are intertwined, your head on his chest and your arms snaked around his waist.

- Despite his best efforts to convince himself to get immediately ready for the day, he will let out one huge sigh and set the alarm to snooze...and then snooze again, and again.

- Kunikida's biggest weakness is cuddles, especially whilst you are sleeping so adorably

- He might curse himself for breaking his schedule but, you certainly are worth it

- He may even incorporate snuggle time into his schedule just to say that he is following his ideals to feel better about himself

- LOVES to watch you sleep, I know bro is romantical (but will never admit it) he will just stare at your features, it doesn’t matter if you snore or have your hair all a mess, or whatever, he just is so in love with you.

- He takes this time to reflect on your relationship together, he probably practices ‘gratitude affirmations’ and you are certainly one of them

- Not the type of person to fulfil his desires in your sleep, he'd rather wait till you're awake before initiating anything, HOWEVER, if you are the first to awake, he certainly isn't going to complain waking up to you under the covers, iygm 😏

- Note in diary: woke up to sloppy toppy at 7am

- Expect breakfast in bed at the weekends, those are the days he has more time in the mornings and will make the extra effort in pampering you. You like coffee? Well the man owns one of those fancy coffee machines, Idc what anyone says, he does.

- Kisses with the taste of coffee on his lips >

Fyodor

- This was hard but I like a challenge (plus the recent episode got me quaking)

- Fyodor does not sleep a lot, over working himself on his plots and schemes, 100% will need convincing to join you in bed

- He would wake up first, no matter what. You would never catch him sleeping, like ever

- even if you get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, the man just senses when you are awake (he is probably a very light sleeper)

- its most likely to do with the fact that when you are sleeping, its quite a vulnerable state and although he is comfortable with you, he struggles to turn that side of him off

- As he wakes up before you, it gives him a chance to watch you resting peacefully, he leans over you and just takes in the view

- He will gently brush the hair from your face and just… he just thinks you are precious and wants nothing more than to just take a moment and reflect on it

- If its coming close to having to get up for whatever reason, he will stroke your hair and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, most likely calling you Russian pet names and shit

- Although he is the first awake, he won’t get out of bed until you are ready

- I can’t see him being a person who’d want to cuddle in bed really, going to sleep or waking up. He is a little touch starved but in the sense that he doesn’t quite know how to be physically affectionate

- though catch him on a day where he is particularly sleepy, then he will be more likely to let his guard down and cuddle (he can’t keep up this criminal master mind shit 24/7)

- I don’t think he’d be super relentlessly horny in the mornings, but if he is for whatever reason, he would (like the whispering you awake HCs) he would probably give you a few sleepy neck kisses, caressing your body with his nimble fingers and enjoys watching you squirm and whimper yourself awake.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd kunikida #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #kunikida x reader #bsd bram #bram stoker #BSD Bram x reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor headcanons #bsd fyodor x reader #sigma x reader #bsd sigma #bsd sigma x reader

[the-californicationist]

a safe house

(Price/Reader) SFW - But MDNI on my blog please!

“Ghost! How copy? Riley, come in!” Price shouted into his headset. 

You were sending cover fire over the fallen tree that you and your captain were hiding behind. Unfortunately, you’d been separated from the rest of your team. Soap, Ghost, and Gaz were on the other side of the large, icy ravine, and they had done a good job drawing the enemy away from the target zone. Price kept trying to connect, but there was too much snow cover. A nasty blizzard was rolling in, and you needed to find better shelter, quickly. 

“Captain! Enemy has been eliminated. We need to find shelter,” you tried to pull him up off of the ground. 

He looked up at you, frustrated,

“Aye, Corporal, but they’ll be back. We need to find a way to warn the boys.” 

“Look,” you showed him the map on your datapad, “Laswell said there’s an old town…I think she called it Khabnoye? It’s been abandoned for years, about two klicks away. There might be some old technology, radios, whatever. We can reach them on some long-range.”

“Alright, let’s move.”

It was a short distance, but the terrain was brutal due to the snow. You made it there by nightfall, and carefully approached the outskirts of the town, following Price’s lead to scope out possible enemy combatants. There was no one in sight. It truly was a ghost town, and you were justifiably creeped the hell out. 

A small house was mostly intact near the very edge of the town, plenty of empty space around its edges, and only one broken window. You began to sweep the rooms, of which there were only three, noting that its prior occupants had left in quite a hurry sometime in the late 80s. You were fighting a nameless, secret war inside of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, so most of the towns you came across were similarly abandoned. 

You stood in the kitchen with Price, catching your breath and unpacking your bag. He was starting up the small, convective space heater checking for high levels of radiation in the room, making sure it was sustainable for the night. 

“Alright, let’s go dark. No lights, no comms until we get a better idea about what happened,” he said in a low voice. 

“Yes, sir. I did get a notification from Soap, but the message is unreadable,” you showed him the datapad before you powered it down. 

He sighed,

“At least we know he’s alive and stable enough to send comms. We’ll work on connecting when this storm blows through.”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Drop the formality, Sparrow. Not spending the whole night listening to your sirs.”

He was upset. The operation was ruined, and he had no idea where his team was or if they were even alive anymore. You said nothing, letting him unpack two MREs and prep the bags for you. You checked the other rooms. There was a tiny, filthy bathroom without running water, and a bedroom with a dingy full mattress without sheets. You set to work arming the windows with night vision motion cameras - much good may it do you with all this snow - and rigged the front door. 

“No use,” Price muttered, digging into his chili and beans MRE, starving.

“Why? You think we’re safe here?”

“No tracks in or out. No trash younger than me, and no pings for ten miles,” he showed you his passive EMP monitor, “Our tracks are covered by now with the storm. They’ll assume we rendezvoused back at the base. It was closer and easier to access.”

“Closer? Why’d you come here then?”

“Base might be compromised,” he shrugged, “Couldn’t reach McTavish, so we can’t assume anything at this point. Might as well get comfortable and wait til morning. This’ll clear once the sun comes out, and we’ll send an AM ping.”

You sighed a breath of pure relief, 

“I know I’ve only been with you guys for a few months, but honestly, I don’t know what’s more impressive, your technology or your level-headedness under insane fire. Feeling very much like the amateur I am, Captain.”

“You handled yourself well out there, little bird. I’m impressed,” his praise rushed through you like adrenaline, and you basked in it. 

“Thanks, Cap,” you smiled, drinking the broth of your soup and packing up your MRE trash into its bag. 

“You smoke cigars, love?”

It was midnight before you even considered going to bed. You and Price had stayed up in the kitchen, smoking and chatting in the dark, only illuminated by the glow of your ashes. The snow fluttered down outside, layering itself on the ground like a pile of white sheets. There’d be at least two feet of it at the door tomorrow morning. 

“...and I got this one in Amsterdam, chasing some smugglers out of the wharf. Motherfucker stabbed me right through the arm. Missed the bones, thank Christ. But, that’s not the bad one.”

You were telling each other stories about your scars, and you were in all states of dress. It was warm with the space heater, and you were comfortable around each other. Aside from admiring the mountainous swell of his shoulders and chest, you tried not to think much of it. He was hot, but he wasn’t interested. You just had a small crush. It would pass. 

Okay, maybe a big crush. But, you had some self-control. 

Some. 

“Oh,” he leaned across the table to get closer and look at your arm, “What was the bad one?”

You blushed, not that he could see it, 

“It’s in a certain spot. Not sure you want to - ”

“Don’t make me beg, little bird,” he smirked, rolling his eyes at your modesty. 

He was right, of course. You weren’t sure why you were shy. 

Liar. You were shy because you had an enormous, filthy crush on your commanding officer. 

You tucked your elbow beneath your shirt and pulled it up over your chest, showing him your sternum,

“This one. It’s a - ”

“Flare burn,” he whispered, his demeanor changing from jovial to serious very quickly. 

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

He was silent for a long time. You watched as Price too a big mouthful of cigar smoke before letting it billow around him, looking like a big, brooding dragon in the quiet room. 

“How’d you get it?” He asked, avoiding your question. 

“Enemy trap. They rigged the door to blow a flare. My vest, all my plate, none of it mattered. The flare burned so hot that it cut right through the gear like butter. If it wasn’t for our medic knowing that he needed to knock it out, I would’ve died. Three weeks in the med bay. It was bad.”

Price reached out slowly, almost as if not to scare you, and touched the circular wound. It wasn’t sexual, but that didn’t stop you from immediately feeling aroused by having his hands on you. You shuddered involuntarily, and he jerked his hand back. The silence in the room was suffocating.

“Sorry, little bird,” he whispered his apology, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” you chuckled, taking a drag of his cigar for yourself, trying to calm down, “Uh, no.”

“What?” He prodded, not realizing what truth he was asking you for.

“It’s nothing, sir,” you stood up from the table, trying to escape, and forgetting you were in a 200 square foot house. 

He stood with you, reaching out to touch your shoulder. You sighed into his contact against your will, feeling the stress of the day melt away as he did. 

“It just…” You tried to throw him a hint, “Feels good, you know. To be touched. Been a long time… sorry, sir.” 

“Told you to swallow those sirs, little bird,” he whispered in a low rumble, putting his other hand on your other shoulder, grabbing you gently. 

There was very little space between your bodies now that you were away from the table, standing in the no-man’s-land between the bed and the kitchenette. It smelled like sweat and tobacco and 1987 in there, and you were breathing hard, nervous and desperate for him to do something to you that he couldn’t take back. 

“Sorry,” you said under your breath, not knowing what else to tell him.

Price lifted your chin up to meet his eyes, grabbing your jaw firmly, but gently. In the blackness of the night, the moon reflected only a little of his icy blue eyes, and the glow from his cigar made his face appear sharp and saurian. You didn’t expect for his touch to be so light. Just hours ago, he’d snapped a man’s neck with these same hands, and now he was passing the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip like you were the petal of an orchid, careful not to bruise you. 

“I’m trying,” his breath was ragged as he confessed, “I promise, I’m trying to let it go, little bird.”

“Let what go?” You put your hands on his hips, trying to steady yourself, feeling dizzy with lust and fear. 

“My desire,” he put his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, struggling, “Turn me away. Please, little bird. End my fucking torment. I’ll never mention it again. I swear it.”

You kissed him, pressing your lips into his chastely but firmly, enjoying the heat and the smoothness of his skin, the smell and the feel of his beard, coated in tobacco smoke and his own sweat. The comforting spice of the chili lingering on his mouth. He breathed in like you’d pressed a hot iron brand into him, blissful pain radiating through his body, pulling you in close to his chest. He deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against yours, moving your skull with his powerful jaws, leading you, commanding and strong in his desire. 

“Love, don’t… don’t do this. Not unless you mean it. I’m bloody beggin’ you.”

You smiled, resting your nose alongside his, kissing him again slowly and carefully before answering him, 

“I mean it, John. I mean it.”

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[pursuitseternal]

“The Second Day” of “Antics of the Newly Ascended:” staring Batstarion🦇

Ascended Astarion x F!Reader |E| 1.3K Pure antics and comedy

🦇 art by @marimosalad Link to full art

Summary: You can’t pick a lock without your Rogue, even if he is Ascnedant now. So you wait… and wait… until a new unexpected visitor flies in.

CW: Banter, Poop jokes, Tav filtering Astarion’s threats and antics, sneezes, and cute fluffy vampiric bats with an attitude 🦇 (no smut)

Previous Ch | Ao3 link | Masterist

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

“Hells, what is taking him so…flipping long?”

For a split second, you think Gale might actually swear, but no. The goody-two-shoes scout wins out in the end. You giggle anyway.

“Said he’d be back quick with a new set of lockpicks ready to go, Mister Ascendant Lord and expert of the underbelly of Baldur’s Gate…” Gale huffs and folds his arms crossly.

Karlach snorts next to you, both your backs leaning against the alley walls. You keep to the shadows, eyeing up the house you need to enter… surreptitiously. Those Flaming Fist have been everywhere lately, and you still needed your Rogue to break you in nearly everywhere in the City.

“He’s probably too busy doing Ascendant things to hurry, Gale,” Karlach chuckles, peering her horned head into the street.

“Like what?” you ask, folding your arms and pouting your lips, “what could he possibly be doing but rushing back to be with me?”

Gale rolls his eyes, seeing the wry expression on your face, he realizes you joke. “Oh, good one,” he chortles. “Oh lots of things, I would imagine if I applied my wildest musings…”

“Get to the point wizard!” Karlach slaps him on the back. “More taunting, fewer words.”

Gale sputters for air after having it knocked from his body. And you laugh at that.

Suddenly, you feel a breeze pass your face. A blur of white settles on the wall beside your head. Hanging upside down.

A fluffy white bat. It chitters at you.

“Oh shit,” Karlach jolts at the sight. “That thing is massive.”

It seems to chitter more.. proudly at that. You narrow your eyes at it… your other companions draw away a step, leaving the beast with space.

“If Astarion were here, he’d probably call it a snack and snatch it from the air…” Gale jabs, a self-confident smile on his face, proud of his own humor. His own best entertainment.

“Naw… he’s too busy picking out new fancy clothes…” Karlach peers into the street.

“Too busy trying to burst into a sea of mist…” Gale laughs.

You giggle, thinking of something he did just that morning, for an hour, “Preening his hair into a perfect coif before kissing his reflection…”

Gale’s mouth snaps shut. The bat on the wall chitters noisily again, flapping its wings as it comes to dart around your head. “That bat is all over you,” his eyes narrow, “but I’m fresh out of Speak with Animals potions for now.”

You shrug, “I don’t mind, maybe he’s lonely…” You hold out your hand, an offering to let the little mammal rest somewhere soft. “Gives me something to look after until Astarion comes back.”

“Don’t let him see you’ve got a new pet…” Gale taunts, leaning closer to peer at the creature that now rests in your palm, “He might get jealous and snap it up in his fangs.”

Does… is the bat… glaring at Gale?

You look closely, but Karlach guffaws. “Oh oh, I’ve got it. I think I know what’s keeping the Vampire Ascendant! He’s probably stuck taking his first shit in two-hundred years...”

Okay, now that bat in your palm is definitely glaring, and chittering, and… pissed. You look closely at last, it’s white fur catches the sun in shades of silver, its eyes are a deep red… almost a crimson…

You stop. “Astarion?” you murmur at the little creature, patting its head with a single finger.

It… He… bounces on your hand, chittering away, pointed little face nodding.

“For fucks sake…” Karlach groans. “How the fuck did you turn into that?”

Gale leans closer… but not too close just in case. “I’ve read that some Vampires can take forms themselves, if powerful enough.” He grins widely, “Could be ferocious werewolf, or noxious cloud…” that grin twists, “Yours is adorable, if I do say so myself, Astarion.”

You can almost hear the ire in the noises that he makes in reply. Still nonsense chatter, but the emotion is clear.

He is not amused.

“Gale, you do realize he will turn back, and he will be pissed,” you warn with a shake of your head. You freeze, a whisper tickling inside your mind as the creature in your palm twitches and rests. “Astarion says it’s not his fault you're a pack of incompetent… oh,” you pause, patting him on his head with a finger, “I’m not going to say that part, my love.”

“He’s… talking to you?” Gale twists his head and raises a brow. “Like, mind to mind?”

“Yes,” you nod, “we are just as baffled at the moment, I will be honest with you, even if he said not to tell you…” the bat starts scrabbling up your arm, chittering even more noisily than before. “Stop whining, darling. You’ll figure it out.” He comes to rest on your shoulder, hanging upside down from the seam of your shirt. “And he says he would rather you never again speculate about his bowel movements either, on pain of… I’m going to say, a severe talking to.”

“That’s not what he said is it?” Karlach guffaws.

You can’t help but let your finger scritch under his little chin as he dangles from your shoulder. “No, no,” you giggle as you watch his beady little eyes flutter shut at the petting. “He used his regular ascendantly foul mouth.”

“Well, Vampire Ascendant or not, he’s not going to be much help breaking and entering in that form, is he?” Gale snips, rolling his eyes.

“He says he would be more than happy to talk us through it, if we… oh, again? I’m not suggesting that, my pet,” you shake your head, removing your scratching finger to wag it at him. “Naughty,” you chide.

“How did you get like that anyway, Astarion?” Karlach chuffs, folding her arms and swaying on her feet.

“He sneezed,” you reply. “Oh, I wasn’t supposed to share that. I’m sorry, my love. You really should be more obvious about what is for my ears… er… mind alone.”

“Maybe…” Gale gives a mischievous grin, “if we get you to sneeze again… maybe you’ll change back to a form with fingers that can actually do some good.” He reaches into his pocket, takes out a little bit of powder, and blows.

The little bat writhes, fur standing on end, flat folded nose twitching before….

“Achoo!” The sneeze echoes off the alley walls, a burst of black mist that tingles your skin as his tall, lean and wiry body forms against your arm. You can sense his irritation, out right, cuttingly sharp annoyance lacing his angry breaths. Once the mist clears, Astarion is, in fact, glaring at you all. Crimson eyes dart from one to the next. “I am… going to fucking kill you,” he hisses.

“Shh…” you cajole, raising your finger to scritch under his smooth chin, clenched tight in his rage. Instantly, the moment you begin your gentle petting, he eases, eyes fluttering shut.

“I think he likes that, soldier,” Karlach whispers a giggle. “Do you feed him little treats when he’s a good boy?”

“Only if he gets us into that house with those dexterous hands of his,” you chuckle and slide your hand to stroke his cheek.

“Fine,” he sighs, exasperated, tired, and annoyed. “But not one of you breathes a word of this to Halsin… or Wyll… or… anyone.”

“Agreed,” Karlach slaps him on the back.

He begins rummaging his lithe fingers through his pack, turning those crimson eyes on you as you watch. “And you, my consort, don’t think I’m not going to make you pay for that mirror-kissing comment earlier…”

“Don’t think you won’t have to earn those chin scritches, my love,” you giggle in return as he flashes that fanged smirk at you.

“One more, my darling?” he purrs, watching the others start into the street already. “One for the road, one in case we die today?”

Your fingers reach quickly to oblige, his eyes closing to savor your attentive care. And you giggle, “Who can argue with that?”

#ascended astarion #ascension puberty #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x f!reader #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #batstarion #baldur’s gate astarion #astarion fic #baldur's gate 3 astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #bg3 funny #baldurs gate smut #baldursgate3 #baldur gate 3 #baldur’s gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldur’s gate spoilers #baldur’s gate iii

[rainyinautumn]

Scar does not lay down and die. He’s fought too hard to go out like that.

It’s a strange feeling, to know that he’s in full control of when he dies. No one chasing him down, no ticking clock, no curses. Sure, he doesn’t have regen, but he has a full row of hearts—a whole life ahead of him that he can spend in Sunflower Valley.

He doesn’t remember until he arrives that there’s nothing for him there. It’s about fifty percent craters. Some of them are blackened by the wither, and others by gunpowder. Despite it all, though, there are still sunflowers. Not many, but they’re facing his way when arrives, as if trying to be the welcoming party he never had. Scar sits down at the edge of one of the craters and swings his feet back and forth over the drop. It’s not deep enough to kill him, hardly even deep enough to take a heart off of him. The ash settled at the bottom is picked up by the wind, blowing into Scar’s boots and hair. He doesn’t wipe it out. It’s his only reminder that he wasn’t always alone in this world.

Across the crater, the air shimmers purple. Before Scar can figure out what it is, the color coalesces into a ghostly figure with a faint halo that shines just like the sun. Grian smiles at him wanly and holds out a bouquet of poppies and lilacs.

“You’ve won, Scar,” he says. “It’s time to go.”

“But I’m not ready yet,” he objects.

“He didn’t get me any flowers,” Scott mutters as he sits down beside him, transparent and crowned with a dozen tiny stars. “Trust me, you’re ready. You’ve won. There’s nothing left.”

“Well, I never had much anyway,” Scar says coolly. “Can’t say this feels too different.”

“I know.” Pearl’s voice comes from his other side along with the soft glow of the moon, and his heart aches, unwilling to turn toward her. “I know, but the game’s over, Scar. You did well.”

He wants to tell her sorry, but that would be disingenuous. He wouldn’t change a thing about that fight—the only thing he regrets is that it had to be her.

“More than well, I’d say.” Martyn takes shape in the center of the crater, his coral crown glittering the angry red of Mars. “I’m loving the trend of villainous winners we’ve got going here. Who do you think’s gonna be next? Joel? Gem?”

“Maybe we’re due for a more heartfelt finale,” Scott says, sending a sidelong glance Scar’s way. “No offense.”

“Didn’t you win through a battle royale?” he retorts.

“Didn’t we all?” Grian sighs. “It’s just the way of the game. Killing people. It’s a bit hard to get a heroic winner out of that.”

Scar stares at his feet. “I thought I’d feel more relieved,” he admits. “Like I’d- like I’d, y’know, won something. Now that the adrenaline’s gone, it’s all just kinda…”

“Empty?” Grian fills in for him.

“Disappointing?” Scott suggests.

“Sad?” Pearl says.

Martyn kicks a rock. “Fleeting?”

“One of those things,” Scar sighs. “So… now what?”

“I already told you,” Grian huffs, tired but good-natured. “It’s time to go.”

“Die, you mean,” Scar says. “It’s time for me to die.”

Martyn draws an axe that looks far more corporeal than the rest of him. “It’s my turn to take you out,” he tells him. “I was planning on a nice quick beheading, but I’m open to suggestions.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Scar stammers, scrambling backward. “I don’t get to choose how I go?”

“Well, sort of,” Grian explains. “You’ve won. The only thing that can take you out now is another winner.”

“Pearl zapped me when my time was up,” Martyn says. “Didn’t hurt for more than a second.”

“And what if I don’t let you?” Scar asks.

Scott puts a hand on his shoulder, but it goes right through. “There’s no way around this, Scar.”

“Martyn has to kill you,” Pearl reiterates. “It’s not up to him, or us, or you. No one can move on until you’re gone.”

“Says who?”

Grian gestures broadly at the horizon. “Who do you think?”

The Secretkeeper looms in the distance, a dark sky overhead. It’s watching him. Scar knows it is. It’s waiting, impatient as ever, for its final task to be completed.

Martyn hefts his axe over his shoulder. The move should be threatening, but there’s no malice in it. His hand sits firmly on the handle, white-knuckled and duty-bound, but the rest of him is relaxed. He doesn’t want this to be a fight.

“I guess everyone’s waiting on me, huh?” Scar says. “Let’s get this over with.”

He walks up to Martyn and kneels, removing his hood to expose the back of his neck. He feels the cold edge of the axe blade placed against it and screws his eyes shut.

“Any last words?” Martyn asks.

“I’m taking away all your reputation points for this.”

He laughs, genuine and nostalgic. “Fair enough.”

The axe lifts, and a breeze ruffles Scar’s hair as it comes back down on his neck.

There’s a searing flash of pain, and then nothing. His eyes stay closed, staring at the darkness.

“Scar,” Grian says, his voice closer than before. “Scar, it’s done.”

He blinks warily, taking a moment to process the view he sees. The rest of the world now has the shimmering transparency of the ghosts, while the other winners are now solid and real in front of him. Grian is still holding the bouquet—when he extends it to Scar, it changes shape, twisting into a flower crown.

“Wait,” Pearl says. “One last thing.” She waves her hand and two glowing sunflowers wrap themselves into the wreath, blooming side by side. “There.”

Grian steps forward, right in front of Scar, who’s still kneeling in the center of the crater. “Congratulations, Scar,” he says. “You won.”

The crown is a perfect fit.

#couldn't just write nothing about scar's win so here have this #the last winner has to kill the most recent and there's technically nothing in canon that says I'm wrong so #clutching this headcanon forever #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #slsmp spoilers #trafficblr #relevant rainy things

[candycandy00]

Smut. 18+. Toji x Fem Reader. Rough sex. Virgin reader. Size difference. Breeding. Monster fucking. Non-con! Dividers by @benkeibear!

Part of CandyCandy’s 2k Followers Event! Any feedback whatsoever would be adored! For @idk1375.

When you heard the rumors of a werewolf stalking the woods in the next town over, you figured it would be a great topic for your supernatural themed podcast. So you packed up your gear and headed on over. You put a post on a local forum asking for a guide to take you into the forest, explaining that you were investigating the werewolf rumors, and a man named Toji volunteered. He didn’t even ask to be paid. 

So now you find yourself standing in front of the man as he introduces himself. The first thing you notice is that he’s huge, so much taller than you that you have to crane your neck to look up at his face. He’s ruggedly handsome, with dark hair and the kind of physique men spend years in the gym trying to obtain. All of this combined with his deep voice makes him the kind of man you want to call “Daddy”.

You follow him into the woods, thinking to yourself that he could probably fight off a werewolf with his bare hands. He makes friendly conversation along the way, telling you about some of the rumors you’ve heard, but seeming to have more information about each incident than you read online. Probably because he’s a local. 

He leads you so deeply into the forest that the sun is almost completely blotted out by the trees, making it seem much later and darker than it actually is. It looks like night has fallen, though you know it’s only the afternoon. 

Toji stops in a clearing, surrounded on all sides by towering trees, and turns to look at you. 

“This is the werewolf’s favorite spot to take his victims and feed,” he tells you, a lazy smile on his lips. 

Huh? How does he know that? Wait…

You turn to run back out the way you came, not wanting to wait and find out if your terrible assumption is correct. Either he’s a serial killer pretending to be a werewolf, or…

An ear splitting howl assaults your ears as you reach the tree line, and you hear the sound of fabric ripping. You can’t resist. Two years of running a podcast dedicated to exactly this sort of thing has made you too curious, so you find yourself looking back, even though the logical part of your brain is telling you not to. 

Charging straight for you is Toji, his shirt completely ripped off and his pants shredded. He’s at least nine feet tall now, and the outer edges of his body are covered in a thin layer of black shiny fur. His chest and abdomen, trailing down until his pants cover the rest, are bare, like the reverse of a normal hairy man. 

He catches you in an instant, forcing you to the forest floor on your back, the claws on his hands digging into your shoulders and drawing blood. He leans over you, and you can see that his face has remained nearly unchanged, except for glowing red eyes and a full set of razor sharp teeth.

“You were lookin’ for a werewolf,” he says, his voice even deeper than before, “well you found one, girlie!”

You shriek in terror, thrashing about wildly beneath him. But it’s no use. He’s far too big, too heavy, too strong, for you to budge even an inch. 

“Please don’t kill me!” you cry pitifully, tears streaming down your face as your body goes limp. 

He grins, showing off his teeth. “Now why would I do that to a cute little thing like you?”

With that, he rips off your T-shirt with one swipe, as if it’s made of tissue paper. Next go your shorts, and even your panties, leaving you stunned and completely exposed. 

You scream again, clamping your legs shut, a renewed vigor in your struggle as you realize what he intends to do. 

“I could smell it on you the moment we met,” he says, pinning your bare arms above your head. “You’re untouched by a man.”

You freeze, your eyes widening and your skin burning with embarrassment. He knows you’re a virgin, from scent alone?

He draws back slightly and lets his red eyes roam over your nude body, settling on the spot you’re trying to hard to protect with your pressed thighs. 

“I could smell something else too,” he adds, a low rumbling chuckle escaping his wide mouth. 

He leaves one large hand to hold your wrists together, and lets the other slide down, effortlessly parting your thighs despite your best efforts to keep them closed. You flinch as you feel a clawed finger glide up your slit, then he holds the finger up so that you can see the sticky, glistening fluid dripping off it. 

“I could smell this.”

You close your eyes and turn your face away, too humiliated and horrified to look at him. But he grips your face and turns it back to him. “Don’t go closin’ your eyes, girlie. You’ll wanna see what’s coming.”

You open your eyes and watch, petrified, as he rips the shredded remains of his pants off. And there, between his muscular, fur-covered legs, is a gigantic erection. You’ve heard the term “monster cock” before, but you never imagined even a real, literal monster cock would be this huge. You scream, trying again to close your legs, but he’s already positioned himself between them. 

“Please, no! That thing will kill me!”

He leans his face down close to yours. “I think you can take it,” he says. Then he closes his mouth over yours, plunging his tongue into you, just as he shoves his entire, giant cock into your virgin pussy. 

You scream into his mouth, the sound muffled by his lips, as your body jerks with pain. He gives a few deep, ripping thrusts before he breaks the kiss, grinning down at your sobbing face. “Don’t pass out,” he tells you as your vision starts to go fuzzy. He releases your wrists, knowing there’s nothing you can do regardless, and slowly rakes his claws down your chest. It’s not enough pressure to draw blood, but enough to make you snap to attention at the possibility. 

He fucks into you, so hard and deep that you have no idea how you’re still alive and not bleeding out. He watches your face, making sure you’re awake and aware, eventually moving one hand down to where your bodies meet. Again, you feel a clawed finger in your slick folds, but this time he finds your clit, stroking it and then gently scraping his claw across it. 

You jolt, the unexpected pleasure hitting you like a truck. And then his mouth is on yours again, absorbing the pitiful moans you can’t suppress. 

When you cum, even you are shocked, staring up at him with a stunned, tear-streaked face as your body trembles. 

He laughs again. “Look at you! Cummin’ on my cock even though it’s your first time gettin’ fucked! This little pussy feels so good, I might just put a pup in you!”

You shake your head frantically. “No no no!”

But it’s too late. He shoves in as deeply as he can, and you feel his thick, hot cum filling your womb all the way up. 

He stays that way, buried completely inside you, until he’s sure he’s emptied himself. Then he pulls out. You look down, see that his cock is covered in blood and cum, and you fall back against the ground, exhausted. 

He stands up, and as he does so, reverts to his handsome human form. “If you survive, I’m gonna make you my bride,” he says. You don’t have the energy to respond. He bends down and picks your sore, twitching body up from the ground. “But first, let me take you back to my place and lick your wounds.”

Heat floods your face at those words. You reflexively curl against his strong chest, wondering if you’re now living a nightmare, or a dream. 

#toji x reader #Toji #fushiguro toji #toji smut #toji fushiguro #toji x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #x reader #candys2kevent

[inzaynety]

him: stoic & sincere ⤫

➢ summary: random scenarios that tell you about what zayne is like

➢ content: zayne x fem!reader, 2306 words, not canon au but he’s in med school (college au bc i can)

➢ notes: pls i just saw a youtube short about ready-to-be airport dads lmao so it made it into this; also yes ur roomie’s name is that and yk why 😭 not beta read 👍🏼

When he walks down the street he’s not stopped by many vendors. His face is enough to draw them away and while he doesn’t get much of that in the hospital, all his patients love him, the same thing can’t be said when he’s just out and about.

The rain doesn’t seem to be letting up and Loren watches as the sky is relentless in its attacks. The concrete is barely visible with the streams of water passing by and she’s grateful to have worn her boots to work that day, however, she forgot her umbrella. The coworker who left before and brought the lost-and-found umbrella from the back and the others were still working and came in their respective cars.

She stays under the overhang for a little more until she really has no choice but to move. The sun, though it was hidden behind the thick clouds, was going down and she would have an earful from her sister if she returned too late.

Taking a deep breath, she steels herself before a hand comes into her view. She whips her head over to the side and comes face to face with a stranger. His face was visible and she couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped her, luckily muted by the rain and wind.

He was handsome, yes, and familiar.

Thinking back to earlier in the week, she was the one who served him during lunch. He seemed unapproachable when he walked through the door but spoke politely when guided to his table; sitting alone and reading over a small notebook he pulled from his coat pocket. His order was also something out of the ordinary for someone of his looks and she never saw him look up except to thank her for the meal and to wave over the check, but now that she was able to look him in the eye, she was speechless.

“Did you need an umbrella?” He offers the one in his hand and it must have been a few seconds too long as he asks again. Loren shakes her head after the second time and waves her hands.

“O-Oh, no thank you! I wouldn’t want you to get caught up in the rain either. The station’s not too far so it’s okay if I just run over!” She gives him a smile but the man raises a brow and shakes his head, insisting that she hold the handle.

“No worries, I insist.” Seeing as there was no way she was going to reject his offer, and seeing as how the rain did not let up, she accepted the umbrella with a nod.

“I can return this to you in that box,” she points over to the umbrella holder outside of the cafe, “I assume you come around this area quite a few times?” Loren thinks she’s imagining it when she sees a small hint of a smile on his face that disappears as quick as it comes. The man only nods and walks away towards the cafe’s doors. He must be having a quick dinner before he goes home.

Loren holds the umbrella tightly in her hands and rushes over to the crosswalk. Thankfully, his umbrella was sturdy and as she waits at the red light, she finds her gaze trailing over to the glass of her workplace. The lights inside make it easy to see who was in front and she’s surprised.

The man had his arms around a girl who looked excited over something she was saying and upon looking at his face, it was filled with nothing but adoration. The coldness was gone and replaced with a sight she felt she was intruding on.

Loren blinks and turns away, walking briskly when the light turns green.

What a gentleman.

–

Tara hasn’t seen you for the longest time due to your busy schedules, and what better than to have a double date with you, her, Zayne, and her new boyfriend.

You haven’t seen much of him except for the pictures she would send, but from her words he was a nice guy who genuinely loved her, and that was all you could ask for for your friend.

It’s a small family owned diner that you both settled on meeting and with Zayne’s hand in yours you guide him over to the table Tara and her boyfriend were seated at. Upon this being your first official meeting, he politely introduces himself as do both you and Zayne. You notice he’s a little nervous but that could just be due to first impressions; you are one of Tara’s closest friends.

But no. While Jack was nervous about meeting you, the piercing gaze and stone-cold features of the other man were enough to make his palms sweat a little. While you did most of the talking, Zayne would look between you, Tara, and him and with just a glance he could stop talking all together. He had this aura about him, but he just met the man for crying out loud.

Tara talked about you and Zayne from time to time mostly just about when you’d be seeing each other and all she gave about him was “He’s a doctor, tall, really nice, and I think you guys would get along!” That was clearly not enough information.

Being the best girlfriend with the ability to read his mind, Tara squeezes the back of his hand and he looks over to see her smile for his comfort. She suspected he’d had the same reaction she did when you first introduced him. She was skeptical at first from his expression being the most jaded thing she noticed, his actions around you were far from that.

“So, Jack,” Zayne says after you point out the things you wanted from the menu to him, “I heard you’re also into medicine.” Their conversation flows easily and he sees how well-spoken he is. There aren’t any awkward pauses or words he regrets saying: it’s all natural and nothing like how he felt only moments before.

When the waiter comes to the table in the middle of Jack’s story, Zayne recites your order perfectly along with his own all the while holding her hand beneath the table. And when the waiter leaves after going through everyone, he returns to the conversation, “What were you saying about the…”

What a nice thing to do.

–

Your roommate Xavia thinks Zayne is funny. Not in a funny “haha” way but a funny “he’s an interesting guy” way. You both were friends since diapers and moving into your shared apartment was a childhood dream. Where you were going for school, how you were going to decorate, and what things you guys could do were endless.

When you moved in now both in your last two years, Zayne, who had been your boyfriend for a years now since the beginning of college, helped unpack. He took the heavier boxes along with Xavia’s brother who made it into a friendly competition. You would think Zayne would have brushed it off, but he accepted the challenge and soon both men were walking up the steps with about five boxes in each arm. Even you had stopped and stared at them as they looked ridiculous coming up the steps with nothing but the top of their heads visible. In the end, unloading was probably the quickest thing done that day.

You offered to go down to the grocery store to pick up some drinks and Xavia’s brother was also tasked with helping when Zayne took a phone call in another room. Xavia was unpacking one of the living room boxes when he walks out from the hallway and asks about your whereabouts. After she tells him, he nods and asks her if she needed any help. She expected that he would be a lot better than her brother, which he was, but he was also meticulous. It was like he knew where things were supposed to go to look the best and honestly, she was thankful that he did.

A few minutes passes and you texted that you were on your way back. Xavia stands up and pats down her jeans but a small sounds stops her. She turns around and on the balcony is a kitten pawing at the glass. The sliding door was slightly open and it looks like it saw it as it quickly made its way over and squeezed through.

She panics a little as a small animal running through all the new furniture and boxes wouldn’t be the most ideal. Zayne sees it too and crouches down when it practically splints inside, quickly scooping up the kitten in both of his hands. It looks surprised but doesn’t move, the two of them watching at it nuzzles down into his palms and closes its eyes.

The door opens and both you and Xavia’s brother see her and Zayne frozen with a small ball of fluff purring loudly. Your boyfriend cranes his head to face you and darts his eyes from yours over to the kitten. Xavia can’t help but laugh at the sight.

What a funny guy.

–

Zayne’s apartment might as well be yours now too with how much time you spend the night. It’s gotten a lot more familiar with your presence from the drawer filled with you undergarments, the vanity cluttered with your skincare and makeup, and even the pantry overflowing with snacks he says he would never get but for you they’re there.

The heater is turned up for your sake, and since he runs a bit cold as well it’s for him too, but it’s just a little too hot for him though you never complain when he walks around without a shirt.

And you also rarely sit on the couch alone. Your legs are always placed over his as he massages your calves while watching your favorites. His attention is split between the dialogue between the main characters and your commentary should you have any, and you don’t usually need to repeat yourself because he listens to every word.

“This is such a dumb show, I love it,” you mumble after your breath and Zayne’s quirks his lips into a small smile upon looking you way. You mumble something about spine magic and creampuffs and he can’t help but let out a small chuckle. Humming in response, you don’t pause the episode but you do turn your head slightly his way. “What?”

“Nothing.” He comments and reaches down to roll out the tenseness in your muscles from the day. You watch in silence for a few more moments until he gets a text. Reaching for his phone, he unlocks it with a few quick taps of your birthday and looks up towards you again. “Are you packed for tomorrow?”

There’s a few beats of a pause and you’re rushing to your feet and down the hall to his (your shared) room. He’s got some suitcases you left there and practically a whole wardrobe of your stuff anyway. “I knew I forgot something!”

Zayne sighs, reaching over to the coffee table to pick up the remote and pause the show before getting up from the couch and following in suit.

–

The airport is surprisingly not as crowded at this time but you’re a bit upset. Zayne would laugh if it wouldn’t put you in a worse mood but you looked very cute in sweats and his hoodie, standing beside him as he got your bags dropped off at the terminal. But anyway, clearly you were not a morning person.

Winter vacation was a perfect time to see family and friends back home and he was more than happy to accompany you this time like you had for him the year before. At least the upside to arrive at the airport nearly five hours before your flight was that you were flying with him.

The attendant finishes up checking your larger bags in and hands Zayne your tickets. He thanks her and puts away your passports and papers into his coat before taking his carry on in one hand and your hand in his other, after making sure you have your own bag, and pulling you along to the security.

You don’t know exactly why he’s in a rush considering there’s not many people and your flight is literally a few hours away, though it’s a little endearing. You lift your phone to record a few instances.

After security, he grabs a cart to place your bags on and follows you around to the duty free stores so you can shop hands-free.

“You can sit down, you know?” You tell him and he only shakes his head.

“I’ll follow you around. Where are you going next?”

On the flight he’s clutching tightly to your passports as you know for sure you’re going to lose it, and when you land he’s already taking both of your carry ons down from the overhead compartments. You make it to the carousel for your bags and there’s an elderly couple who seem to be having trouble picking up their luggage and he rushes over without delays to get it for them.

Zayne leans down to hear one of them describe what their bags look like and he grabs it all, receiving a pat on the cheek and a bag of sweets from the elderly woman.

“You’re a kind young man,” he only shakes his head and thanks her for the treats as they go about their day. When he walks back to you, you smile and press a kiss to his cheek. Looking behind him here’s a lot more people around now waiting for their stuff. You beckon him to you and he leans closer.

“Our bags just passed by. We have to wait for it to turn around another time.”

#zayne x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #zayne fluff #fics

[dancingtotuyo]

4. walk with me, i think we’ll find a way

Woman | Joel Miller

Series Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: It is time to rest.

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (Reader is 42, Joel is 56). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: swearing, talks of & references to grief, death (child and spouse), and suicide. Anxiety. Reader has a minor panic attack. Angst. Hurt. Comfort. SMUT. Explicit sex (P in V). Unprotected sex. Oral Sex (M receiving). Let me know if I missed anything.

Note: THANK YOU TO MY BEAUTIFUL BETA READER @fhatbhabie

Words: 4840

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINED EXPLICIT CONTENT AND IS INTENDED FOR THOSE OVER THE AGE OF 18. MINORS PLEASE DO NOT READ OR INTERACT

You’re not sure what to expect. Joel made it clear he would be waiting for you, but the voice in your mind buzzes with doubt, especially after the way you acted last night. You hesitate briefly before squaring your shoulders and stepping outside.

Joel is at the bottom of your steps, waiting with his warm smile and open posture. It catches you off guard for a split second before your limbs fill with warmth like you’ve been sitting on a sun-soaked beach all day. Then you see it stirring inside him, the simmering heat bubbling under the surface. He looks at you like someone who’s seen you naked, like someone he fully intends to see naked again. If you look in a mirror, you think your eyes would show the same story.

You should run from it. You know better, but the trap you’re on your way to accepting that tugs you deeper. His damn smile only gets brighter as you draw near. You can’t fight the upward tug of your own lips.

“Hi”

Joel chuckles slow and sweet like honey chasing away all the anxieties of the day. “Hi”

“You come here often?” You lean against the short banister, sliding in closer to Joel like two magnets drawn to one another.

Joel shrugs his shoulders leaning closer. You can feel his body heat spread across you. The scent of pine floods your nose. His lips lower to your ear. “Hoping to come around more often.”

A shiver sprints down your spine. You have half a mind to pull him inside right away and forgo the night’s walk, and you know that any chance you stand trying to resist Joel Miller has crumbled to shreds. He’s here and you’ll let him have you.

“I think that could be arranged.”

“Good.” Joel takes your hand in his, pulling you out toward your beaten path. Out in front of the whole town, he never drops your hand.

Neither of you brings up last night, but the tension is there, the good kind. It’s the kind that sits up under the surface, growing in anticipation as the conversation takes innocent turns. As you complete the first lap, you stare at your front door, your footsteps slow, but Joel drags you onward. He doesn’t say a word about it, but he knows.

Joel is going on about something he saw on Patrol when you complete the second lap, but you’re determined this time having made up your mind 10 minutes ago. There will be no third lap tonight. You tug him off the course. His eyebrows raise in question. You knock your head toward your door.

“We still have another lap, Sweetheart,” Joel says, but his feet put up no resistance.

“Not tonight.” The desire that’s simmered all night boils to the surface in the fading daylight.

Joel’s eyes darken as he lets it take over, his full form crowding yours. His touch burns across your skin. You fumble with the door knob distracted by Joel’s calloused hands that seem to be everywhere at once, clouding every sensible thought and motor skill.

The door finally gives way. Joel’s front warms your back up the stairs and into the safety of your bedroom. Joel’s shirt is off, his lips on yours before you’re turned around. He overwhelms your senses, teeth gnashing against yours, hands running over your sternum, your breasts filling his palms.

Clothes fly in rapid succession until you’re both free of clothes. Joel presses into your back, fingers slipping through your slick folds. Your head drops back to his shoulder as a loud moan leaves your mouth, arm hooking around his neck.

His movements are quick and precise, flicking over just the right place. He buries his head in your shoulder, lips sucking at the dip just above your collarbone. He mumbles deep encouragement into your flesh with each moan and catch of your breath. Calloused fingers drag up your bare skin, resting at the base of your throat. He doesn’t restrict your breathing, but keeps pressure just below your neck, pressing you against him. The hairs on your arm stand on end prickling with goosebumps and heat washes through your torso. Your mind is a blur in the best of ways. Joel’s name is the only coherent word that tumbles out of your lips.

His fingers keep pace, back and forth with each catch of your breath, back and forth with each hitch of your hips. His lips work up your neck, his heavy breaths ricocheting off your neck. His cock presses against your back.

His own smooth words start to drift through the fog in your mind.

Yes, Sweetheart

Just like that.

Your hips buck against his hand and he chuckles. “I know you like that.”

All too soon, it becomes too much, your breathing shortens, hiking in pitch. Joel ups the tempo of his motions and it all feels like a little too much just as he sends you shooting you over the mountain peak.

Before you can come down, you’re chest to chest with Joel, lips pressed to his. It’s like he’s thirsty in the desert and last night was only just a sip, doing nothing to quench his thirst, growing the need to be sated.

Your hands tangle in his hair matching his greedy thirst with your own. His hand roams down your naked body, squeezing your ass and caressing your thighs.

Slowly, your hand drifts down his hair-covered chest, lips following behind. The muscles shiver behind each motion, and it hits you that maybe you have the same effect on him that he has on you. You glance up at him, meeting his gaze. You see it flickering in his eyes behind the desire. He looks at you with awe as if he can’t believe you’re real. Before you let the implications of that thought take over, you sink to your knees, keeping eye contact with him as you drag your hands over the v of his hips. His muscles twitch again bringing a smile to your lips.

Joel continues to watch you with the same wonderment and curiosity. There are no expectations in his eyes. It eases something deep within you, giving the impression that he would find satisfaction with whatever you’re willing to give him. Then, you take his cock into your mouth.

Joel’s eyes roll back in his head. His hands tangle in your hair. He’s not holding you in place or restraining you. You’re anchoring him. You can’t take it all in your mouth and soon switch to licking it from base to tip. Joel’s words are the ones that aren incoherent now, spilling in a slur of swears and encouragements. When you look up, your eyes land on a single bead of sweat that drips from the top of his forehead. You follow it as it slips down the slope of his nose until it hangs on the tip, teasing you, its grip slipping with each heavy breath. You wonder when it will slip. Until it finally does, dropping onto your forehead.

Joel seems to see it too because the moment it lands, he’s pulling you up to your feet. The back of your knees hit the bed and Joel is carefully cradling you beneath him as you collide with the fresh sheets. Your laugh tangles with his and he’s smiling down at you. It all feels so much like-

“What romcom did you learn that move from?” You tease.

Joel shakes his head. “I haven’t seen a damn romcom in 30 years, Sweetheart.”

There’s the nickname again, making you squeeze your thighs together reminding you how empty you are and how full Joel made you feel last night.

“Get on your back.” You say. It sounds almost like a challenge coming.

Joel crosses his eyes. “Whatcha got in that head of yours?”

You push on his shoulders. Joel follows suit rolling to his back. You straddle him, stretching your arms above your head. Joel’s eyes roam your body, his hands shooting out to your thighs. You wink at him before positioning yourself over his cock and sinking down. You take your time, adjusting to the stretch again and taking in every twitch of his face and catch of his breath. You could watch it on a fucking loop.

Once you’ve taken him in fully, you wait. It’s almost like a game. Are you going to give him what he wants? Or are you doing to make him take it? Before you can decide, his hips stutter up, making you gasp. He quirks an eyebrow and does it again, hitting the place that makes your toes curl. When he goes to do it again, you pull yourself off of him, immediately missing him. “I’m supposed to be riding you.”

A wicked smirk crosses his face. You feel his voice in his chest. “Then ride me, Sweetheart.”

You sink back onto him, but this time you don’t waste any time. He matches your pace, one hand on your thigh the other slipping into your folds. The moment you clench around his cock he knows he’s found your clit. You lean into it and before you know it, he’s pulling you down toward his lips continuing to flick your sensitive bundle of nerves. In the heat of it all, you end up on your back. The slide of him against your walls and his finger on your clit is overriding everything else. You can ride him another day. The pressure builds and your second orgasm is knocking at the door.

“I’m almost there.”

“I’ve got you, baby. Let go.”

The spasms start in your abdomen and ripple down. You clench around him but he keeps going, working you through your release while chasing his own. You ride the high, fingers tangling in his sweat soaked curls. He’s not far behind you, pulling out before he finishes.

It’s like you get frozen in the high. He’s hovering above you as pleasure wracks his body and yours hums beneath feeding off of him. Your eyes meet hanging onto whatever floats between you. His lips meet yours, not sparking with desire as you’ve come to know the past two nights, but simmering with something else. Something that comes out of nowhere and catches you off guard. He presses another kiss to your forehead before he rolls out of bed.

Your mind is reeling, trying to decipher that kiss and stay in the post-sex haze at the same time. Then, Joel’s back with the warm washcloth, cleaning you up.

He expects you to shut down again, but tonight is different. You smile. You laugh with him and the two of you stay in that moment, naked and in bed it’s the only thing that matters. There’s a growing desire to keep him here and wake up to him in the morning, but instincts push it away. Joel seems to catch the fight behind your eyes. You wonder how he’s so good at seeing right through you.

He kisses your head. “I should head out.”

You force the smile to stay because you are happy. “I’ll walk you out.”

Joel looks almost surprised and tries to hide his smile as he collects his clothes from around the room. You slide on your pajamas, the matching ones, and when Joel is fully dressed, you slide your fingers into his, walking him to the door. He kisses you before the front door opens, a kiss that promises more if you want it, and you do.

The smile on Joel’s face makes him look like the Joel you knew in Texas. The world is cruel and funny. You never thought that 20 years and a pandemic that wiped out most of humanity later, Joel Miller would still live across the street from you.

Joel opens the front door, but before he’s across the threshold you grab his collar, pressing a solid kiss to his lips for all of Jackson to see in case they missed you pulling him into your home an hour ago.

His crow’s eyes crinkle and his chuckle is a melody you never want to forget. “Same time tomorrow?”

You shake your head, making Joel’s brow wrinkle in confusion. “Last I checked, Maria invited you to family dinner tomorrow night. Best not be late.”

“That’s right.” Joel cocks his head to the side, almost as if he’s memorizing you. “But I’m taking you for a walk after.”

“A walk? Or to bed?” A single eyebrow quirks.

Joel smirks. “Guess we’ll find out.”

He pauses. For a second, you think he might come across your threshold and take you back upstairs. You wouldn’t protest, but instead, he waits a minute and then nods.

“Goodnight, Sweetheart,” He says.

“Goodnight, Joel.”

And then he leaves your porch, crossing back to his home, but not before you catch him looking back over his shoulder.

You beat Joel to Maria and Tommy’s the next evening. You knew you would, going over early to help Maria with dinner. You have been trying to get her to let you make dinner as her pregnancy progresses, but she refuses.

To your surprise, Maria doesn’t say a word about Joel, and she doesn’t try to continue your conversation from earlier in the week. Oddly, it puts you more on edge than if she just asked. She has to know. She keeps an ear out for Carter until you get home. You overheard two separate sets of whispers about you and Joel today.

Nothing says you can’t open the conversation. It’s your sex life. You should be the one to do it, but Maria always opens these conversations. She pushed you toward Gabe. She approached you about Joel.

You glance over your shoulder for the fifth time in two minutes. Maria sits at the table, feet propped up as she sips on her tea seemingly unbothered and uninterested. Carter giggles from the living room saying something incoherent to “Uncle Tommy” because that’s what they’ll always be- Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria. Your best friends. You glance toward the clock. It’s ten til six. Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Joel should be here in ten.

“I know you’re dying to talk about it.”

Your head snaps toward Maria who wears the all-knowing grin.

“You haven’t asked.”

“Figured you would tell me when you’re ready.”

“When have I ever done that?” You throw an old dish towel over your shoulder as you set to work on the pile of dirty dishes.

“I thought we were growing in our old age.” Maria sips on her tea.

You narrow your eyes at her before returning your attention to the soapy water. “Is that what Wednesday was?”

“No, that was the kick in the ass you needed.” Maria smiles, hand traveling over her swollen stomach, love shimmering in her eyes. “And it worked.”

“Maria Miller!” The soapy plate clatters back into the sink.

She laughs and you can’t help the subtle tip of your lips as you shake your head. “I’m not the one dragging someone across my threshold for the whole town to see.”

You open your mouth, but words fail you. There’s no witty comeback or rational reasoning for your actions, and the mere mention of your recent shenanigans has your body thrumming with electricity. Joel may have promised you a walk, but you would prefer a ride.

“When are he and Ellie getting here?” Maria asks.

“Whatever time you told ‘em.” She rolls her eyes. “I told him to be on time though.”

Maria grins over her mug. “Did he meet expectations?”

Once again she has you fumbling for words. You’re not sure where it comes from. You and Maria are like sisters. You’ve never held back the dirty details from her and vice versa, but this thing with Joel has you like a giddy schoolgirl, but there’s also a piece of you that wants to keep it to yourself. If you keep it to yourself, maybe you can protect it. Maybe the universe won’t take it away.

You inhale deeply. “Yes, and that’s all I’m going to say.”

Maria’s eyes shoot up in surprise. “You’re choosing now to go all conservative on me?”

You laugh, a smirk falling across your features. “Maria, I promise there’s nothing conservative about what happened… I just want to keep this to myself for now.”

She accepts the boundary and a comfortable silence falls between you. The soft sounds of Tommy and Carter filter through coupled with dishes clinking against each other. You savor these moments when things feel almost normal. They’re the moments you feel closest to Gabe surrounded by your son and closest friends.

The front door swings wide, welcoming Joel and Ellie into the family unit. You hear them before you see them, Tommy welcoming them in. You and Maria move into the front room. Your typically quiet and reserved son rushes toward Ellie, quickly grabbing her hand, pulling her toward the coffee table where his favorite book about space sits. The book he insisted on bringing in a cacophony of unidentifiable sounds and the few words he knew when he found out Ellie would be there. Mostly “space” and the closest he’s gotten to saying Ellie’s name yet. He’s been working on it. Asking to see her again

Ellie allows him to drag her over. He points to the book sitting on the coffee table and Ellie’s eyes go wide. “No way! That’s so cool, bud!”

Ellie grabs the book crashing on the couch. Carter eagerly climbs up, nestling in beside her. As they go through the pages, he rambles on incoherently about everything he knows. It makes you smile to see him come out of his shell. Tommy and Maria both take in the scene with the same awe as you. While the picture of Ellie and Carter warms Joel’s heart, he can’t keep his eyes off of you, smiling and relaxed in a way he hasn’t experienced yet.

It hits him that this is it. This is your family just as much, if not more than it is his. The people in this room are the few you’ve allowed within the gates of your heart and he just hopes there’s room for him within it.

The timer goes off in the kitchen pulling you away from the scene. Tommy says something to Joel but his eyes follow you. You pull dinner out of the oven and Joel excuses himself from his brother heading toward the kitchen without a second thought. Maria and Tommy share a knowing look.

Warm hands slip around your waist, seeping through your bones and you can’t help but lean back in the stolen moment. His breath is warm against your ear and there’s almost a sway in your movements. It comes so naturally that you don’t even think about it. “You look beautiful.” It’s sacred, intimate, domestic, and then Joel kisses your cheek and steps away.

You’re warm and hazy. You miss him immediately and once again you ignore the implications of that instinct. You look back at him and he’s smiling, grabbing the plates off the counter to set the table. You take a moment to admire his backside, knowing full well what’s concealed under those worn jeans. “You too.”

Joel chuckles. “Gotta look pretty for my admirer.”

Tommy clears his throat as he walks in, shit eating grin on his face. You flip him off before he can say a word.

He chuckles, hands up in mock surrender. “I didn’t say anything.”

“But you were going to.”

“Would it be dinner without me teasing you about something?”

“The world fucking ended and you’re still a gnat in my ear, Miller.”

“Gotta keep you smiling. I have promises to keep.” Tommy takes the ready dishes to the table. “But I think Joel is doing a fine job of keeping that smile on your face these days.” He waggles his eyebrows.

You smack him with the dish towel and he howls. Joel chuckles, shaking his head. “You deserved that.”

Tommy narrows his eyes toward Joel. “I’m not done giving you shit for this. Glad our chat helped, brother.”

“Chat?” You look between them.

“Ellie! Carter! Time for dinner!” Tommy calls.

You look over at Joel and he mouths, later. It’ll have to suffice for now, but clues you into the fact that you and Joel were definitely the talk of the town long before he crossed your threshold.

Ellie enters the kitchen pulled behind Carter. His babbling runs on a continuous loop as he clues Ellie in to his entire life story. Your jaw almost hits the ground at his outgoingness with her. He crawls onto the long bench patting next to him in signal for Ellie to sit beside him.

“You don’t have to bend to his every command. Let me know if it gets to be too much.” You smile toward Ellie, selfishly hoping that it never becomes too much for her.

“Nah, it’s cool. We’re friends. Right, Bud?”

Carter nods rapidly as Ellie offers up a fist bump which he obliges, making an explosion sound.

Smiling, you set a premade plate in front of him. He says something that vaguely resembles “Thank you, Mommy” and digs in. As you slide into your established seat, you encourage Carter to rest on his knees instead of standing on the chair, but with little success.

“It’s too bad phone books don’t exist anymore,” Joel chuckles, sitting down next to you.

“He probably wouldn’t use it.”

“Kid’s got the full sum of yours and Gabe’s stubbornness,” Tommy chuckles, passing the bowl of green beans to Maria. “And then some.”

Carter looks over at his Uncle Tommy like he fully comprehends the statement, and then gets distracted by the food in front of him.

Joel passes you the dinner rolls, fingertips brushing over yours in the process. You catch his eye. He winks at you. It’s all so- perfect- peaceful even. A slice of everything you ever imagined life would be before the world ended. The table feels so much bigger with two extra bodies, but it’s nice. Sometimes dinner feels cold and haunted by ghosts. Tonight it doesn’t. Tonight feels warm and full. For once, you dare to lean into it. Let hope seep in that maybe it won’t be taken from you this time.

And it works. Until you’re halfway through your meal and hits you with Joel’s warm palm on your thigh. He’s in Gabe’s spot, talking to Tommy how brother’s do, like Gabe and Tommy did. You’re eating dinner with your couple friends who likely conspired to talk the two of you into whatever it is you’re pretending you are just as you and Gabe had done to Maria and Tommy.

Who is next?

The thought shoots a chill down your spine. Your fork clatters onto the plate in front of you. Several concerned pairs of eyes land on you. You’re sure your face has gone pale as you struggle to keep the tight ache in your chest at bay..

Maria says your name, but you shove back from the table.

“I need some air.” You don’t wait for a response, making a B line to the front porch. You focus on your breathing, long slow breathes in and out. Your knuckles are white from gripping the railing. Even as your heart rate drops. You can’t quiet your mind. It’s never quiet.

You can’t do this. You can’t risk it. Your body can’t live in peace. So used to living in survival mode, it won’t allow you to come out of it. You’ve spent most of your life in this world. You’ve lost everyone from before. Everyone except the two men inside. You never really struggled to connect to Tommy. Things were just like before, light and playful. You know it goes deeper than that now, but Joel. He represents everything you have sworn off. Tommy and Maria are grandfathered into that oath, but Joel isn’t.

There is a warm hand on your shoulder. You spin around with blotchy cheeks, breathing barely evened out. Maria. You’re relieved, but your heart still calls out for Joel.

“It made me think of Gabe tonight.” She speaks. “Seeing him next to you. Seeing you smile like that.”

“I can’t do it.” You head shakes. “That’s all I’ve said this whole time. I told you that.”

Maria lets out a deep breath, her dark eyes search yours. “I told myself I could never mother another child.”

The quiver in your chest eases a little bit. She’s never told you this before.

“Losing Kevin was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. It was like losing a physical part of me.” You nod along. You’ve both known tremendous loss in this lifetime, but if you lost Carter, you wouldn’t be able to go on. It would kill you. “And bringing a child into this world, even here, it feels selfish, wrong.”

Again, you understand it. You and Gabe had talked about having a family so many times. The pull was there for both of you, but this world seemed unfit. Nature or providence or something else had made the decision for you, but that hardly eased your conscience over it.

“Yet here I am, and…” A smile slowly overtakes her face. “And I’m excited and I’m happy.” She takes your hands in hers. “And I’m living. You’re living doesn’t have to look like mine, but I think your heart wants him.”

The tears start again. “It’s like there’s this war inside me, Maria. I’m afraid it’s going to rip me in two, and I’m just so tired all the time- but these past few weeks, I’ve felt..” You search for the right words. The weariness is still there, but it’s different. It’s bearable. “Fresh.”

She nods in understanding. “I know it’s a scary thought, but it’s time to rest.”

“I don’t know if I can anymore. Not really.”

“Let us help you.”

“Maria… I,” You choke on the words. “I feel safe with him. I feel myself opening up and then it just shuts back down. I can’t control it.

With the same understanding that Maria always has, the same calming presence, she says, “I’m sorry if I pushed you into this too fast.”

You cough on a laugh. A smile threatens your lips through the tears. “I’m a grown-ass woman. You don’t push me into anything.”

Maria raises an eyebrow. “Mhmm, keep telling yourself that.”

You roll your eyes, wiping the tears from your cheeks and drying your hands on your jeans. You take a single deep breath, letting the fresh air clear your mind. “How do I look?”

She smiles. “Like you just had a minor panic attack.”

You smack her shoulder, but you’re sure it’s true. It’s what happened. She laughs and then you’re following her slow waddle back inside.

Joel’s eyes are the first you meet, laced with care and concern. When you retake your place next to him, you press a soft kiss to his cheek, catching him off guard. Ellie’s smile grows wide. Tommy’s smirks, no doubt wracking his brain for something quippy. Maria acts like nothing happened, and Carter is blissfully unaware.

You and Joel walk all three laps after dinner. The urge to pull him inside is less pressing tonight, though it still lingers. He doesn’t hold your hand like he did last night. He’s pulled back from last night’s affection, giving you space. Space you despise, but admittedly need. On the third lap, you take his hand.

“I’m sorry if I pushed things too much,” Joel says. “We never said it was anything more than sex.”

“And walking.” You crack a smile making him chuckle beside you. “But I like it. I enjoy spending time with you.”

Joel smiles. “Me too.”

“I’ve been determined for years not to let anyone else in.”

“I know.” Joel squeezes your hand. It’s a small gesture but reassuring nonetheless.

“I can’t make you any promises, Joel. I can’t make any commitments to anything.”

Joel pulls you to a stop, tugging you in front of him. “I’m not asking you too.”

“I mean it. I don’t think I can even let you stay the night.”

“I’m perfectly capable of walking my ass across the street. I’ve got a perfectly fine bed there.”

You inhale shakily. Joel’s hands move to your shoulders and then your cheeks. “I’ll take whatever you can give. If it’s just these walks, I’m good. If it’s more, great. If you need an evenin to yourself, just let me know, Sweetheart. I’m no good at this stuff either.”

Your heart swells more than you want to admit. “Okay.”

“Good,” Joel kisses your forehead. His eyes flicker to your front door and back down to you. “What do you want tonight?”

Your eyes glimmer with mischief. “You wanna come to my place, Joel Miller?”

A grin overtakes his face and a chuckle settles deep in his chest. “I’d like that.”

#woman (joel miller) #woman (joel's version) #pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction

[redrose10]

The next chapter of Cinnamon & Vanilla should be out mid-to the end of next week. We’re getting close to the end and I really appreciate all the support on that one. Here is a little sneak peak at the next story that I plan to release. As you can probably tell I’m very Yoongi biased. This one will probably just be one big story instead of a multi chapter thing, but that could change. Let me know if this is something you’d actually be interested in reading!

Inn Keeper Yoongi x Female Author Reader

Summary: You have never experienced true love which is hilarious considering you write romance novels for a living. When you end up staying at The Interlude Inn located in Holly Falls you start to wonder if maybe the answer to your newest love story is sitting behind the welcome desk. Quickly, you find out that Min Yoongi hides a lot of pain and sorrow behind his shy smiles and quick glances.

Warnings: (may get updated) Swearing, character death, very very angsty for a while, mentions of physical and verbal abuse, bullying, a really mean letter, panic attacks, eventual light smut, it will get better

Teaser Below The Cut

Once you arrived at the airport you really wished you’d done a little more research about Holly Falls. After some digging and a conversation with a very outgoing Uber Driver you found out that eleven months out of the year the town is very low key and relaxed, but for one month it is a tourist hotspot thanks to the insane amount of blooming cherry blossom trees. According to your new Uber friend, people come to Holly Falls during this month to see the fields of trees blooming in all their glory. The normally quiet town embraces the crowds providing various festivals and parades and gimmicks to draw in the guests as well as their wallets. And of course you just happen to travel over there smack dab in the middle of it all.

The driver dropped you off in the middle of the fun so with your bag slung over your shoulder you started heading into different hotels trying to book a room. In the city you could walk into pretty much any hotel at any time and book a room. You had assumed it would be same in this small town so you had decided to wait to book a room until you could see them in person wanting to get the feel and make sure you chose the right fit. You imagine in any other month it would be much easier to obtain a place to stay here, but due to the large tourist presence every single hotel was completely booked for the entire month.

You were just about ready to give up and head to the airport to see about booking a flight home when an older gentleman came up to you carrying various handmade trinkets for sale.

“See anything you like miss? All of these are under $10.”, he asked.

Politely you smiled, “No thank you. Not right now.”

You thought he had left until you saw him dangling a hand painted sun catcher in front of you. The design a beautiful beautiful cherry blossom. Trying to bite your tongue and not snap at the elderly man you again shook your head.

“Here have it for free. You seem to need a little cheering up.”, he smiled.

Reaching up you grabbed the delicate glass from him, “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry if I came off rude. I’m just really stressed out right now.”

“Didn’t know about the cherry blossom season and now you can’t find a place to stay?”, he asked.

“How did you know?”, you replied wide eyed.

The elderly man chuckled while taking a seat next to you, “There’s always at least one person that gets stuck here with nowhere to stay because they didn’t know how crazy things can get around here this time of the year.”

“Mmh yeah that would be me this year. I need somewhere to stay for a couple weeks or I’m going to have to head back home.”

“You know there might be somewhere that still has a room available. It’s just outside all of the hubbub. About ten miles just over that hill. If you get to Taehyung’s Strawberry Farm then you’ve gone too far.”, he said pointing in the opposite direction of the festivities.

“Really? You think they’d have a room? I wonder why they wouldn’t be booked like every other place.”

The gentleman stood up from the bench you were both on, “Its worth a shot. It’s a little farther away from all the action than people like to be. Plus the owners are a little on the unique side.”

You were concerned at this statement. The last thing you wanted to do was end up being the story line of a true crime documentary.

He continued, “They are very nice people. A young man and his grandmother. They just tend to be very secluded and to themselves. It’s called Interlude Inn. You can’t miss it.”

You thanked him for the information and watched as he walked into a large group of people trying to sell the rest of his merchandise. Placing the delicate sun catcher in your bag you ordered another Uber to take you over to the inn. A familiar vehicle quickly pulled up in front of you with the same talkative man from earlier. You wondered how there weren’t any other drivers available, but you smiled as you slid in the back seat anyways.

“Leaving so soon?”, he asked.

You chuckled, “No I just need to find somewhere else to stay. Can you please take me to The Interlude Inn?”

Suddenly the man stopped, turning to look back at you.

“Miss you don’t want to stay there. Surely there’s somewhere else around here you can stay.”

“Every hotel is completely booked. If this inn doesn’t have a room then I’ll have to just go home.”

He sighed, “Alright miss. If you insist.”

He began the drive to your location. His words about finding somewhere else stuck in your mind.

“Sir?”

“Yes Miss”

“What you said earlier. What is so bad about this inn?”

“Well, the grandma, I think her name is Mae, is very sweet. She’s done the best she can with what she had. But that Min boy, he’s a little odd.”

“Ohhh…Like serial killer odd?”

The man chuckled, “No not that kind of odd. He’s just very quiet and keeps to himself, but he is polite. He’s never seemed to have any friends and I doubt he’s ever had any kind of relationship. He comes into town only a few times a year, mostly when his grandmother needs something. He doesn’t acknowledge anyone, even when they speak to him directly. People usually only stay at the inn as a last resort during this busy season.”

From what you’re hearing he seemed like just a quiet introverted person who loves his grandma. You weren’t sure why everyone seemed so leery of him.

The car pulled up infront of the inn. The large wooden sign out front verified you were indeed at The Interlude Inn. Thanking your driver you grabbed your bag and made your way up to the entrance.

The Inn looked cozy and welcoming. It was smaller than you had imagined. There couldn’t be more than three or four rooms. Off to the side you noticed a little garden with various plants starting to bloom.

On the door hung a welcome sign adorned with hand painted lady bugs and butterflies. Turning the handle you gently pushed in the door being greeted by a heavenly aroma making your stomach grumble. The entrance room which also doubled as a living room had two couches, one on either side of a coffee table. A television hung on the wall above a fireplace. In the corner was a small desk which you assume would be where you could request a room.

Walking over you noticed a younger man crouching down so he was eye level with one of the drawers. He appeared to be about your age, mid to late twenties. Black hair with a slight curl to it hung over his forehead. Beautiful cat like eyes and his soft lips formed into a deep pout. You wanted so badly to reach over and squeeze his chubby cheeks, but you knew that was a weirdness you didn’t want to invoke. He was fidgeting with a drawer that seemed to be stuck and you could here the argument he was having in soft whispers,

“Come on you stupid thing.”

“It shouldn’t be this difficult.”

“Please, I just need a pen and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day.”

You chuckled hearing him begging the drawer to cooperate. Reaching into your bag you grabbed one of your spare pens and set it on the desk, “Here I have a pen you could use.”

The young man let out a sudden squeal after you startled him. He jumped backwards and landed on his behind with a loud thud.

“Oh no I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you had heard me come in.”, you apologized feeling terrible.

The poor guy sat on the ground trying to collect himself before bringing himself back to a standing position. That’s when you noticed his cheeks were a bright shade of red, making you want to squeeze them even more. The man didn’t say a word. His eyes were barely able to focus on you, instead they would move around the room before returning to you for just a second before he’d quickly look elsewhere.

“Ahh this must be the Min boy the driver was talking about?”, you thought to yourself.

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #yoongi x y/n #yoongi fic #yoongi angst #bts fanfic #bts x reader #yoongi au #yoongi fluff #bts fic #bts fluff

[wheatnoodle]

in the middle of august in 1989, three years since the world fell apart, a year since they put it back together, steve harrington disappeared.

the night before had been…okay. they had a bonfire by the quarry, the whole lot of them. the party, older siblings, friends of older siblings. and steve. steve, who sat silent as he watched his friends.

the kids were up on each other’s shoulders, trying to knock the others in the water. they even got eddie a part of it, mike up on his shoulders. robin is sitting with nancy in the shallow part of the water by the edge, picking up rocks and giggling to each other. and steve stays by the fire, closer to the trees and on one of the logs they pulled over as a makeshift seat. his knees are to his chest, arms on top of his knees, and chin on top of his arms. he watches them. he watches the fire.

he watches the trees and every movement that catches in his peripheral. his ears are tuned into every sound around him. every gust of wind through the leaves, every snapping twig. it gets him flinching, sets his every nerve ending on fire and traps the smoke in his throat. steve clears his throat as quiet as he can. he can’t draw their attention to him. not when they’re all having so much fun. he can’t drag them into his anxieties, resurfacing traumatic memories for them at the same time.

and so, he’s quiet. he wants to go home. or at least anywhere but here. anywhere with a roof over his head and a lock on the door. as if that would protect him. he just wants to sleep. just one night without a night terror that has him waking up to his own hands clawing the scar across his neck open. again and again. it stays red and irritated, angry and raised. all of his scars do. almost like they didn’t heal properly (newsflash, they didn’t).

steve considers getting up and leaving. not even saying a word, just climbing in his car and driving home. but that would make too much noise. that would put their attention on him. that would have people running after him. so he waits. until the fire starts dying down and nancy loads more logs on because her and robin want to warm up after sitting in the water. robin drops down next to him.

“dude, you’re so quiet, i swear i almost forgot you were here.” she’s laughing as she talks, her cheeks rosy and eyes bright. steve turns his head to look at her, plasters a sleepy smile on his face that he hopes she can’t see right through.

“yeah, i guess so. ‘m just tired,” he mumbles, tipping his cheek to rest on his folded forearms. her brows twitch a small crinkle in the middle and the corners of her mouth droop slightly.

“everything okay? not to sound like i’m watching you or anything like some creep, but you’re quiet a lot lately,” robin asks quietly. her voice is laced with concern, as if her face didn’t say it already. she puts a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it through his tshirt. he winces feeling her palms run over the ridges of his road burn scars. he knows she can feel how…textured…it is. but unlike himself, she doesn’t pull away in disgust. just wraps her arm over his shoulders.

he doesn’t answer but she hears him. a soft kiss gets pressed to the side of his head and he leans into it, closing his eyes at the affection.

“you will be okay.” she sounds so sure as she speaks, he almost believes her.

“thanks. i think i’m gonna head home though. i really am tired and i’m getting eaten alive by mosquitoes out here,” steve says and stands up, stretching his arms over his head. his spine cracks in multiple places, being hunched so long causing him to stiffen. robin stands as well.

“if you need anything you’ll call me, yeah?” she says, her arms weaving around his waist and head dropping onto his chest. steve’s arms wrap around her shoulders, his chin on her head.

“yeah. of course,” he nods, squeezing her tighter, “i love you, robin.”

she sighs softly into his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne and sun warmed skin. smells like home. “i love you, steven.”

“gross. don’t call me that,” he smirks and pushes her away lightly. he looks over at his friends in the water. just a bit longer. “say goodbye to them for me, yeah?”

“course. go get some sleep,” robin smiles, pinching his cheek before walking back to the water. he turns around to walk back to his car, his face falling now that the facade didn’t need to be held up.

he got in his car, turned it on, rolled down the windows and drove home. he could see the bonfire in his rear view mirror as he left.

they will be okay.

when he make it home, he wastes no time. doesn’t give himself the chance to rethink. he just pulls his suitcases from his closet and loads them up with every piece of himself he can find. clothes, pictures, shoes, sports cards, everything. his room looks fake. it looks like a catalogue. never lived in, no trace of steven alexander harrington.

he takes one last glance around. he hates it here. his house. hawkins. indiana. he can’t breathe here. he can’t sleep. the shadows are shaped like things that try to kill him.

fuck this place.

he packs the suitcases in his beamer, and steve is gone.

#stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things fic #fic wip #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #will i continue this one? i sure hope so #not proofread

[alchemie-tarot]

A Love Letter For You 

Happy Valentine’s Day! The soft romantic in me has been waiting for such an opportune time 💌🌹💐🍫 For all my champions of self-love out there, focusing on themselves, I just want to remind you that you can go on your healing journey and still have someone special in your life. Doesn’t have to be romance. Any kind of love boils down to connection.

Feel free to choose a pile/s that calls out to you. Some details may not resonate since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously. Go on, love. 💝

Note: I take way too many pictures of flowers I see on trips.

Pile 1

The Lovers (back of the deck), 2 of Wands, The Empress, The Tower

Okay, WOW, what cards to begin with for a love letter! Big time SOULMATE energy. The Lovers already peeked at me twice before I officially started to shuffle. Whoever this is, they want to reach out to you badly. Bonus: my neighbors started to sing Valentine by Jim Brickman on karaoke while I was interpreting. PLEASEEE.)

“My love,

You are so beautiful to me. The moment our eyes meet, I can’t help but see stars in the best way– I am struck with an overflowing affection for you. Your gaze draws me in and humbles me at the same time. I love looking at you, at your face and your body. I like taking in every single inch of you, filling my vision with only you. Being with you inspires me. You’re radiant and you have so much going on for you. You can make me appreciate any small, insignificant thing about our world. 

You may have felt some distance between us as of late. I do not mean to stay away from you– in fact, I want to be closer to you, but taking a step back is my way of looking at things clearly and objectively. The truth is, my feelings for you are so strong, it terrifies me. I want to sweep you off your feet. That is why right now, I am gathering my confidence and coming up with a plan to impress you. It may sound corny, but I really want to shake your world, the same way you have to mine. 

You’re my queen / king. My all-or-nothing. You and I have so much potential, my love. I apologize if I appear indecisive to you. There are things about myself I need to conquer first before I can fully offer myself to you. I don’t want anything false to stand in the way– I want to unite with you in the barest of both our truths so that we can stand the test of time. 

I will make my choice soon, and I will let you know. I hope you can wait for me. 

Your soulmate”

Pile 2

The Sun (back of the deck), 10 of Cups, Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords

Honestly, can it get any more romantic than this? Pile 2, this letter is from your happy pill. I feel that this is the pile for those who have gotten together recently–honeymoon vibes. For a few, you could already be engaged to this person, actually, or someone you’re in a warm and stable long-term relationship with. The emotions are strong without a doubt. Lovely intuitive energy.

“Darling,

The sun has never shone so brightly than when we’re together. I began to see and appreciate the world once you have stepped into it and made it colorful with your sheer presence. Honestly, I feel like a child, seeing everything with fresh eyes. I’m convinced that you’re the other half of my heart that completes me, at the same time you make me see myself as my own kind of whole, like I’m invincible. I picture paradise with your face and beautiful eyes in my mind. 

Romancing you is my favorite thing to do. Whoever said that chivalry is dead? I admit, I’m not usually one to get out of my way to make moves, until you. The garden of my imagination grows whenever I think of ways to make you laugh. It’s a wonder that you give me feelings I’ve never had before, yet these emotions flow surely, delicately, in a river that only leads to you.

Now, however, my dear, I feel that we should not rush and slow down a little. As much as I want to be in everlasting bliss with you, I feel that we should be careful not to get carried away. It’s important that we’re grounded and not overwhelmed. I don’t mind having a little quiet, so this is my way of sitting with you and holding your hand in the absence of words between us. 

I hope you always remember that you’re the love and light of my life. I’ll never leave you alone. 

Your person”

Pile 3

The Fool (back of the deck), Death, The Chariot, The Hierophant

Hey there, Pile 3. This person has a spontaneous and easily excited energy. Your relationship seems to be in a kind of transition right now, one that is uncomfortable and maybe even painful (I’m sorry to hear that. Hang in there). What I can say is, they’re quite focused on you right now, though they are working on themselves. Above all, they just want to be on the same page as you.

“Sweetheart,

I know I haven’t been the most reliable person lately. I am a self-proclaimed fool who gets bright-eyed at shiny things that catch my attention. Do you know that you’re the first person who’s made me feel like this? I’m suddenly aware of how fickle I can be. This feeling of innocence can only be so sweet until I get my head down from the sky and see the reality that my behavior was already pushing you away from me.

I’m so sorry. I want to change and do right by you– show you action that is truly aligned with my honest intentions for you. You illuminated my faults that I now want to mature and be wiser from. I want to be worthy of holding your heart. I know that between us, we’re not really in the best place right now, but you know… I don’t need the rest of those shiny things. You’re the one I want. I think you and I are meant to be. 

I want to reconcile our differences and finally release the past that doesn’t have to dictate our future. Commitment is not an easy road, I know, especially for someone with a nature like mine, but I hope you believe me when I say that I do want the real deal with you, everything. And I hope you will still accept me despite me being rough around the edges.

From, Me”

Pile 4

Judgment (back of the deck), Queen of Cups Rx, Queen of Pentacles, 7 of Cups Rx

You seem to have quite a deep bond with this person, Pile 4. A lot of emotions between you, too. I feel that they welcome it, the reflections and awakenings, but they feel overwhelmed about it right now. There’s a prominent feeling of being under a magnifying glass. 

“My dear,

Of all the people in my life, it is you who always sees through me, as if I am made of glass. The more I spend time with you, the more I discover things about myself, both good and bad. You’re a force to be reckoned with.

It’s made me kind of awake, and vigilant somehow, but sometimes to the point where I’m walking on eggshells. I know you mean well, and you may not be even entirely aware of your effect on me, but it has taken a toll on my emotions. It pushed me to be more conscious than I should be– I don’t want to be dependent on you like that.

You push me to be a better person and I’m more than grateful for your inspiring presence in my life, but I would like us to return to a more stable ground– one that won’t ask for too much too soon. Let us slow down for a bit, my dear, so we can tackle the bumps along the road one at a time, instead of rushing into a rocky path. I don’t believe our relationship has to have us constantly catching up to one another, but to have us patiently grounding ourselves until we see eye-to-eye, without rose-colored glasses.

I love you. I hope you will be able to accept me not just for who I could be but for who I am right now, in front of you.

Your love”

Pile 5

Knight of Swords (back of the deck), Queen of Swords, 9 of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 10 of Swords

This is from a sharp and driven person, Pile 5. With all these Swords, I believe you have an intellectual relationship with them. A lot of your conversations stimulate you both mentally and you can’t seem to stop talking to each other for real. It’s giving me the trope of two people from a debate club who keep riling each other up. They think very highly of you. You’re also on their mind on loop.

“Hey (your name),

Our banter is one-of-a-kind. It’s always kind of fun talking to you, wanting to know what you think about something or another. Our opinions may clash sometimes but I can’t help but respect you anyway because you’ve never been one to back down. Hell, I always want to impress you. Replaying our conversations in my head keeps me up at night.

I don’t think you see what I genuinely think of you, though. On the outside I may seem cold, but it’s a double-edged sword. I probably worry more about what you really think of me than I should. A lot goes on inside me than I show whenever we interact. Being playfully savage with each other is kind of our thing, but there are some things I take to heart. I’m not even sure how much you meant it, or if this is really just something my mind does now with the way you’re affecting me. It hurts sometimes, you know.

Deep down, I long for you to feel the same admiration for me as I do for you. I want to be seen as an equal by someone so stable, strong-willed and has so much to give like you do. I’m not the only one who wants a taste of you and it’s plain to see why. Most of all, if you permit, I would like to be more than friends with you.

I’m still gonna try to burn the hell out of your argument, though. 

From, (their name)”

Pile 6

4 of Cups (back of the deck), 2 of Pentacles, Strength, 7 of Pentacles, The Magician

Oh my, this is someone you wouldn’t have guessed is holding a torch for you! A secret admirer of sorts. They’re very lowkey but seem to be popular in their own way from other people, receiving offers that they only turn down or even pretend not to see. They’re not making any kind of moves but let me tell you, Pile 6, they’re trying really hard not to slip around you. (How sweet! They’re also learning to manifest because of you!)

“Dear (your name),

You may see me as unbothered but really, all it takes is one move. One look, one smile from you, one second to hear your laugh. I thought I had a pretty strong facade, but I have a hard time focusing when you’re near. You may see me for who I really am, a big softie for you, and I’m just not ready for that yet.

You’re so different from me, yet I can see similarities between us. You’re larger than life but I don’t see you making a big deal about it; you’re just… who you are, and you’re amazing. Balanced. Humble. You know when to step forward and when to step back. How do you do it? How do you have all the energy for that– rather, how do you control that energy? As for me, I know I focus way too much trying not to be seen.

I want to get to know you, and I dare say I want to get close to you. I don’t find coming out of my shell easy at all, especially around you, but I believe you’re worth it. I know it takes a lot of time and effort, considering the way I am right now. I’ll keep working on it, I’ll take it one day at a time if I have to. You empower me and make me realize my potential. I’ll do my best to get there. Then I’ll let you know.

Happy Valentine’s Day, From (their name)”

🌹💐🍫 🌹💐🍫

Thank you for taking the time to interact with my reading! I hope this has helped you in one way or another and hopefully sprinkled a little sweetness in your day. Take it easy and stay safe~💝

#pick a card #pick a pile #general reading #pac #tarot #tarot reading #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarotblr #divination #tarot community #love reading #love letter #love message #tarot message #valentines day #valentines reading

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Bedeviled | Chapter 12b: Apple (continued)

warnings for this part *contains SPOILERS*: suGgEsTive content, summoning demons (do not), pregnancy, miscarriage, severe depression, manipulation, major heart break I'm sorry, sickness, death, loss, mentions of torture.

this part can get heavy, pls read at your own discretion.

WC part 2: 13.2k

read 12a first...HERE

Just as you suspected, Jungkook spent every waking hour hunting down any and every little thing that might lead him closer to a way to stop the curse.

He spoke to people in the village, who led him to the towns over, who then led him to the towns just a few further down. 

Yoongi stayed with you a lot upon Jungkook’s request. He didn’t want to leave you alone, but he refused to give up. There wasn’t any effort he didn’t go to trying to save you. 

There were many tears. 

Many nights full of enraged screaming when it was thought no one could hear the soul behind the desperate cries for help, when he was all on his own; looking at the stupid fire he made to keep himself warm on the nights he was away, looking for help.

He didn’t bother throwing those thoughts into the flames. They were what kept him going.

-

You already had your fill of rage and sorrow over the past year; although it still ate at you internally, turning your stomach to knots every waking moment. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, continuously held out hope that perhaps he was trapped in a nightmare that he would soon wake from. 

He would go to you, and you would not be worn down with the symptoms that continued to grow worse. The dark circles under your eyes would not be there, only the beautiful shining light in your irises that could chase away even the nastiest storm.

You would not be sitting on the floor and trying to figure out how to draw to pass the time, but instead, running through the sunlit forest and climbing the apple tree. 

He would find you in the clearing and wait just for a moment. 

A few seconds to admire the beauty in front of him, the sun shining on your fingers as they reached for the clouds.

You would smile at him.

And everything would be okay. 

And he would love you. 

-

The next year passed much like that, Jungkook never resting. 

He would come back bearing ointments claiming to cure any ailment, prayers that would heal even the sickest. Nothing worked. You could see it wearing him down, the dark circles under his eyes growing each night he didn’t sleep. 

“Jungkook, please stop this.”

He looked at you from where he was finishing putting together a satchel. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, turning back to tighten the clasp before swinging it over his shoulder. 

“You know what I mean,” You whispered, frustration building up inside you. 

You were so tired, all you wanted was to be with him.

He had missed your seventeenth birthday, and if he left again, you were going to miss his nineteenth. The poor boy was in tears for days after not getting back until the day after your birthday. The guilt consumed him for weeks, he almost couldn’t handle it.

You really didn’t want to see him like that again.

“I found something, I know it’ll work this time.”

“What is it?” You gritted out between clenched teeth. 

“Something that even the curse can’t fight,” He sounded more hopeful than he had in months, “It will work, Apple.”

You stared at him with furrowed brows, “What is it?”

“A flame,” He said quietly, not looking you in the eye. 

“What kind of flame?”

He finally looked at you, “It doesn’t matter-”

“It does to me.”

Jungkook sighed, “It’s called the Flame of Immortality. If you just trust me-”

“What?” You were beyond confused and more than a little stressed out, “That sounds like trouble, Jungkook…how did you come to know about this?”

He looked at you steadily before whispering, “Desperation will lead you to many secrets.”

You swallowed, “Don’t. I don’t want you to-”

“Apple, you can’t just tell me not to-”

“I don’t want to be immortal!” You were getting frantic, “Not without you-”

“It might work on two people, I won’t know until I learn more.”

After a moment of tense silence, he said quietly, “I’m not going to give up.”

“I’m not asking you to,” You took a deep breath, “I just-...”

It was silent save for your heavy breathing. You put a hand to your head, the room suddenly feeling as if it was tilting. 

“Apple?”

You didn’t answer him, focusing too hard on not toppling over. Despite your best efforts, you fell forward, quickly losing consciousness.

Jungkook caught you before you could tumble off the bed, holding you in his arms as he lowered to the ground. 

You came to a minute later, curled up in his lap as he hugged you. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispered tearfully, hand caressing your hair. 

“Jungkook,” You spoke quietly. 

“Mm?”

“I miss my best friend,” You gripped his clothes tightly in your fist, “Please, don’t leave me again.”

He closed his eyes, a few tears sliding down his cheeks as he put his chin on your head, holding you close. 

“Okay.”

He sounded so defeated. 

You hated to make him feel like that, but you were scared to be alone. You didn’t want him to leave anymore, especially because you really didn’t know how much longer you had. 

“I love you,” You whispered, messing with the sash on his waist as you continued to rest in his hold. 

“I love you too, Apple.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, breathing deeply. 

“Can we climb the apple tree?” 

He gulped, hating that he was unsure of granting your request. After a minute, he couldn’t bear the thought of denying you. 

“Of course.”

-

He held your hand the whole way there. 

“Want to swing first?” His voice was pitched higher, clearly trying to sound more positive. You smiled at the old swing, the rope handles fraying a little. 

“Yes, please.”

You sat down, giggling as he pushed you gently, your hands gripping the rope tightly. You looked over to the bush where you always imagined the invisible person to be and smiled. 

I’m okay. 

They knew you would be.

Then you looked up towards the sky, seeing a few rain clouds floating. 

Don’t cry for me, I’m okay.

The grass was soft against your feet. 

Jungkook helped you climb up to your sitting spot, settling in across from you and smiling at the pure joy on your sweet face. 

The wind was gentle on your sensitive skin.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked after watching you smile at the clouds for a few minutes. You looked at him, a light in your eyes that hadn’t been there for over two years. 

“I want to get married.”

His heart clenched in his chest, “You do?” He whispered. 

You nodded, practically glowing. 

___________________

The wedding had taken place in Jungkook’s old home. Tradition was to do it in the bride’s home, but that wasn’t an option.

You saw her that day, before the ceremony. She passed by as you were walking through the village. There wasn’t a single sign that she cared you were there. She simply walked on, not even sparing you a glance. 

That was the last time you ever saw your mother. 

-

Jungkook was his sweet and gentle self the whole day. By the time you got back to the shed, you were practically vibrating with joy. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, all you could’ve ever wanted.

Your wedding night was even more so, and the next morning, he was right by your side. 

“Happy birthday,” You whispered with a smile as he kissed your forehead. 

“Thank you,” He scrunched his nose at you, then he leaned down and placed a sleepy kiss on your lips, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, Jungkook.”

He knew you were, but that didn’t calm his fears. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier,” You whispered, gaze never leaving his beautiful dark eyes. The way you looked at him like he was your whole world made his heart ache. 

“I know I haven’t,” He whispered back playfully, making you laugh. 

_________

It was only a few weeks after your wedding that Jungkook left again.

He hadn’t told you.

In fact, he had purposely made Yoongi go and distract you. You were almost hysterical when you figured out what happened, your cousin had to physically keep you from storming out of the shed. 

It wasn’t a rundown abandoned shack anymore; Jungkook had worked on it since you left your mother’s and stayed there. He worked tirelessly with you helping where you could- mostly holding things for him and being his emotional support buddy- until it felt like a home; somewhere you two could live comfortably for many years. 

It didn’t feel like home that day. You were so angry with him for leaving you alone again. 

Yoongi tried to calm you, tried to explain how Jungkook must be feeling; his wife and best friend slowly dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

“He said he wouldn’t leave!” You cried into your hands, “He lied to me!”

“____,” Yoongi held your shoulders, “If he thought you would die without him, he would not have gone. He has hope, you need to let him give some to you, too.” 

You clenched your jaw, fighting the tears back.

You felt betrayed. 

If you were in his place, you wouldn’t give up either. But you could feel yourself slipping away. You wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer.

Your body was tired, more than you let on. No matter how much you told it to woman up and be strong, it continued to fail. 

At that point, it was normal for you to have fainting episodes daily. 

You didn’t let your cousin know, but your legs had begun to swell a little in the past few weeks. Your husband never hesitated to rub them gently in the mornings to help with the swelling.

You wouldn’t have told him either, but of course he noticed. He was married to you. 

Jungkook meant well by leaving, but he promised you he wouldn’t, and he broke that promise. 

You would never forgive him if he left you to die alone. 

-

Jungkook lit the fire, then stepped back, holding the herbs tightly in his sweaty fist. 

Out of nowhere, there was a sudden whisper of warning somewhere to his right, making him flinch and look over. There was a slight breeze, rustling the leaves. When he saw no one, he turned back to the task at hand.

Closing his eyes, he gulped as he tossed the bundle into the fire, whispering the words he was told to say.

A moment passed, but nothing felt different. 

He opened his eyes, anger seeping into his chest as the tears burned; threatening to spill. 

That old man was just insane, he should never have listened-

“Well if it isn’t another desperate little human.”

Jungkook flinched and turned around, coming face to face with a tall dark-haired man; his beauty unnatural. There were large black feathered wings upon his back, resting while not in flight.

“Are you a demon?” Jungkook whispered, his eyes falling to the tattoo on the man’s bicep. 

A white rose…dead, and being strangled by a serpent. 

“I’m not just a demon,” He whispered with a smirk, “I’m the demon.”

Jungkook wasn’t sure what he meant. 

“Lucifer,” He practically hissed as he observed the human in front of him, “And you are?”

“Jungkook.”

“Well, Jungkook,” The demon called Lucifer smiled menacingly. 

There was a split second where Jungkook saw him glance over his shoulder as if seeing something behind him, then his smile grew, “What can I do for you?”

The young man swallowed, “I need the Flame of Immortality.”

“I see. And what use would that be to you?”

“There’s someone I need to save,” Jungkook whispered. 

Lucifer chuckled darkly, “Typical. And you think the Flame will save them?”

“It has to,” Jungkook grit his teeth, “I don’t have any other choice.”

“Well,” The tall man leaned closer, “What if you did?”

“What?”

“What if you had another choice, human. Would you take it?”

Jungkook blinked, then nodded, “If it means I can save her, then yes.”

The demon smirked as he watched the despicable mortal become more and more helpless even as they just stood there. Tears formed in his eyes, then slid down his cheek. 

“What on earth did the big man do to you and your poor girl?” Lucifer whispered, feigning pity. 

“She was cursed,” Jungkook wiped his nose, “She’s dying. I- I can’t live without her-”

He burst into tears and fell to his knees, heart aching more than it ever had as reality came crashing down on him.

If this didn’t work, he was going to lose you. 

The demon watched him with a glint in his eye and a smirk on his handsome face, “What if I told you that I can cure her, and you won’t even need the Flame.”

Jungkook looked at him with wide eyes, “Can you?”

“Most definitely.”

“Please,” Jungkook choked out, “Please break the curse.”

“Oh, it isn’t a curse, silly boy.”

He looked up at the demon in confusion, “But-”

“It’s something she was born with,” He waved a hand dismissively, “A mere disease.”

“Oh,” Jungkook wiped at his eyes again, “But you can take it away?”

“Of course.”

Jungkook felt his heart rate increase as he realized that he had finally done it. He found a way to save you.

He broke down into sobs, “Please help me-”

"And what will you give me?"

There was another warning in his ear, frantic and pleading. Just a faint breath in the wind.

“Don’t do it.”

Jungkook trembled, his hands clasped as he tried to contain his tears enough to speak. 

"I- I'll give you anything, just please save her-"

"Anything?" 

The young man nodded frantically, bowing his head, "Whatever you wa-"

"How about your soul? A life for a life."

Jungkook was startled at that, looking back up at the demon.

"M-my soul?"

A simple nod in reply, nothing else. No negotiations.

He gulped. 

An image of you smiling at him, only four years old as you held the apple out, came to his mind. 

“Jungkook, please-”

He nodded shakily, forcing himself to ignore the voice that whispered its last warning, "Ok."

A smirk spread on Lucifer’s face as he crossed his arms, the tattoo of the dead rose on his outer bicep stretching as he did, "Looks like we have a deal.”

-

You blinked your eyes open, taking in a deep breath. 

Was it morning already?

Sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes before looking around your tiny little home. You slept better than you had been for a while; it must be the bed that Jungkook spent almost a week making. He said it was long overdue, humble and shy as always when you praised his hard work.

You took another deep breath in, blowing it out in a large puff. 

Just before getting out of the bed, your eyes landed on a beetle crawling across the covers. At first, you almost jumped out of the bed screaming.

After a moment to calm yourself, you looked at the small thing, minding its own business as it walked along slowly. It really wasn’t very big, maybe half the size of your pinky nail. Leaning down to look closer, you saw pretty gold patterns along its back, a vibrant green peeking out here and there. 

“Oh, you’re quite pretty,” You whispered. The beetle paid you no mind as it continued on its way. 

“You’ll die in here,” You said softly, gathering your bravery and leaning over to brush it gently into your hand, “There’s no food for you.”

It sat still in your palm, not moving as you brought it closer to get a better look. You smiled, keeping it safely in your left hand as you pushed the covers from you with your right and swung your legs around to get off the bed. 

Just as you were moving to hop down, something made you freeze.

Your brows furrowed as you leaned down to look at your legs. Had the swelling gone down overnight? They looked…normal.

The past week, they had kept getting more swollen each day, to the point it was painful to walk. You never told Yoongi, and it was easy enough to keep it hidden under your long skirts. There was no reason to worry him. You had a feeling he knew that your time was coming soon anyway. He just refused to believe it. 

You looked back at the beetle in your hand, “What do you think?” 

Lowering your hand so he could see your legs, you gave him a moment to consider, then you brought him back up, “Do they look swollen to you?” After a moment, you nodded, “That’s what I thought too…we better get you outside.”

Once your bare feet hit the floor, you almost flinched at the fact that pain didn’t shoot through your legs at the contact. You had been expecting it.

Your eyes widened as you looked down, seeing your toes against the wooden floor. The simple white night dress hung down to mid shin, showing how normal your calves looked. 

Taking in a long breath, you felt your lungs expand. 

It didn’t hurt to breathe. 

Tears sprung to your eyes as you looked at your little friend. Excitement that you were going to have a good day filled you as you couldn’t help but laugh. Without another thought, you ran out of the shed and into the sunlight.

The moment you stepped onto the velvety grass, you stopped short, still holding the beetle. 

Twenty feet in front of you, Jungkook was there. 

He looked worn out, but there was a smile on his face at the sight of you first thing after walking all day and night to get home. 

Carefully, you bent down and shooed the beetle onto a leaf, then you straightened up and stared at the person you had feared you might not get to see again.

A few moments of silence passed, the two of you just looking at each other.

“Hi, Apple.” He finally whispered.

You didn’t say anything, just broke into a run. 

He caught you as you flung yourself into him, tears springing to his eyes as he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you from the ground. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you hugged him as tight as you could. 

“I missed you,” He mumbled into your neck.

You couldn’t respond, all you could do was breathe shakily, never wanting to let go.

Jungkook adjusted so that his hands were under your bottom so he could better hold you. Once he felt you were secure, he carried you back inside your home and sat on the bed. Still, you said nothing, you just kept your head tucked into the space between his neck and shoulder, not moving yourself from his lap.

After a few more moments, you whispered, “I thought I was never going to see you again.”

Jungkook caressed your hair gently, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“I know,” You sniffled. 

His hands ran along your sides and down your legs, pushing the nightgown up so he could run his palms along your thighs. He had missed your warmth for weeks, it felt almost unreal finally being back in your arms.

As he was running his hands up and down along the length of your legs, he suddenly stopped. You pulled back to see a look of confusion on his face as he glanced down to where his hand rested on your ankle. 

“What is it?” You asked.

“Lay down for me for a second.”

You weren’t sure what he was getting at, but you still crawled off his lap and onto the bed. As soon as you were off of him, he turned around and looked at your legs, holding your ankle and slightly pushing up your skirt to better see them. 

Your cheeks warmed.

It had been weeks since you two had done anything. 

“Apple,” His voice sounded weak with emotion as his eyes flitted back to yours, “Can you take a deep breath for me, love?”

He watched closely as you took in a big breath, your chest expanding and deflating as you did so. Not a single cough passed your lips.

As you took another breath, you saw tears in his eyes, a look of pure disbelief on his face. 

“You’re okay?”

“Hm?” 

“Your leh-...your legs aren’t swollen,” He whispered, warm hand caressing your calf once more, “And you took a breath and it…it didn’t hurt you?”

You shook your head with a small smile, “It didn’t hurt me.”

“It worked,” He breathed, looking back into your eyes. 

Your eyes shifted back and forth between his. 

“What do you mean?”

“The curse...it’s gone.”

“Jungkook, what are you saying-”

Your words got cut off when he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. 

Laying back on the bed, you sighed into his mouth as he climbed over you, hands back to pushing at your dress.

You didn’t understand what had gotten into him or why he was crying as he ran his thumb in circles on your bare waist, deepening the kiss as he did. Whatever was going on, you weren’t going to fight it. 

Jungkook’s breath shuddered as he moved back to look at you, then he leaned down again, unable to get enough of the taste of your lips.

Whatever would happen to him, it didn’t matter. 

You were going to live.

-

At first, you didn’t believe him when he explained that you were no longer cursed. But as the weeks passed by and you only felt more and more alive, it started to hit.

He never said what really happened in detail, only that he found a cure. He didn’t know it was going to work until he came home and saw you. 

Jungkook never hesitated to do anything with you. He wasn’t going to take time for granted ever again. There wasn’t a day in the following months that you didn’t go outside and run around, climbing trees and making him take you out on the boat.

Each day you felt stronger, even more so than before the symptoms started. It was like life was surging through you at new levels and shining from within. He could see the light in your eyes, the glow in your sweet face. 

You were going to live. 

____________________________________

It was May; Jungkook’s favorite month. 

It was the month of your birth, nothing could ever top it. The world seemed a little brighter, a little more colorful; just a bit more full of purpose. You turned eighteen in the middle of the month, but the start of that day wasn’t as fun as you thought it would be. That morning you didn’t feel well. The two weeks leading up to your birthday you weren’t feeling well either. 

You had missed your monthly course, but didn’t mention it to Jungkook. It was probably just late.

Jungkook was worried sick when it seemed you were constantly feeling nauseous in the mornings. He was terrified that the disease had come back. You assured him that you were fine, that it didn’t feel like it did before. You just ate something bad and it would let up soon. 

But on your birthday when you couldn’t even keep rice down during breakfast, saying that it smelt funny and you couldn’t eat it, he insisted something was wrong. He had been begging you to go to the village and be seen for a while, in case it was something serious, but you hadn’t wanted to. 

“Apple, please. Even if it’s just for me, to put my mind at ease,” He pleaded with you that morning for the hundredth time. 

“Okay,” You sighed, “If you’ll feel better, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” He kissed you on the forehead, “Can I take you there on my way?”

You nodded, letting him help you up from the floor. 

-

You smiled at Jungkook’s mother when she opened the door. 

“Why, ____! How wonderful to see you!” She pulled you into a hug, smiling at her son over your shoulder. 

“It’s so good to see you,” You whispered, hugging her back. 

“I need to go to the town for some supplies, today is the only time I can,” Jungkook said before looking at you pointedly, “Apple wants to speak with you, if that’s alright.”

His mother ushered you inside, “Anytime, my dear. We’ll see you later, Jungkook!” Then she shut the thin door, not sparing another word for him.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he went on his way. 

-

“My, how long has it been?” Your mother-in-law poured some tea into a small cup for you, smiling as you thanked her. 

“At least a few months,” You said sadly, “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you.”

“Oh nonsense, nonsense,” She waved off your apology, “You two are meant to be enjoying time with each other, not worrying about coming back to this place.”

You knew she was never a fan of the people around here either. But she did a lot of good in the village with her knowledge of medicine. 

“What did you want to talk about?” She asked before sipping her tea. 

You took a drink of yours before clearing your throat a little, “I’ve been feeling a little off these days. Jungkook insisted I come to you.”

She laughed, “Of course, he did.”

You laughed with her, both of you knowing how stubborn he could be. 

“Tell me about what’s been going on, dear.”

-

“Hey, I was expecting you to be at mother’s still,” Jungkook said as he came in the door of your home, “It scared me when you weren’t there.”

“Sorry,” You whispered, eyes locked on your hands. 

“What’s wrong?” He set his things down on the table and walked over to kneel in front of you, “She said it was nothing to worry about when I asked. But she wouldn’t tell me, she insisted I come back and hear it from you.”

“I-...” You bit your lip, excitement bubbling up in your tummy as you finally raised your eyes to his.

It was the best gift you could’ve gotten for your birthday. 

He smiled gently. 

You scanned his face, wondering if they would have his doe eyes, or his sweet pink lips. 

“We’re going to have a baby,” You whispered, biting the tips of your fingers, a smile slipping out even as you tried to keep it contained.

The complete and utter shock on his face made you laugh. 

“Really?” He finally whispered, his eyes staring into yours. 

You nodded, eyes shining as you took his hand and placed it on your stomach. 

“I told you I was okay,” You said quietly, scrunching your nose at him.

Jungkook’s gaze fell to where his hand rested on you, where your child was growing. You watched happily as he closed his eyes, a few tears spilling down his cheeks.

After a moment of silence, he leaned forward, placing both hands on your lower back and pressing a kiss to your stomach, making you giggle at the ticklish feeling. 

“I love you,” He whispered as he looked up at you. 

You pushed the hair out of his face, smile never dimming as you whispered the words back to him. 

-

If Jungkook was over protective before, he was even more so after finding out that you were with child.

Instead of climbing the apple tree, he pushed you gently on the swing when you wanted to be outside. You would sit on the ground, leaning your back against the tree and messing with the silky grass with your bare feet, giggling at the feeling between your toes. He would sit with you, chuckling at your antics as he handed you an apple, watching as you munched on it happily.

“How are you feeling?”

You answered the question over a hundred times every single day, but you didn’t mind. You would just laugh and tell him you felt amazing. There was never a time in your life that you had been happier. 

Only three years ago, you were told you would most likely be dead before you even reached your twentieth birthday.

You never thought you would be nearly four months pregnant with your first child at eighteen and married to your best friend. You didn’t know what happened to change things, but not a single day passed that you didn’t thank whoever was watching over you. 

-

“How-”

“Am I feeling?” You laughed quietly at the young man who was getting ready for bed and worrying his pretty little head off about you as usual while he did so.

Jungkook gave you a look, which made you laugh harder. 

“I’m just checking,” He whispered as he climbed into bed, nudging your nose with his, “Scoot over.”

You did as he asked, blushing when you saw him watching you with a smile as you struggled to make room. “What?”

“You’re just cute,” He laughed. 

Covering your face with your hands, you turned away from him. 

“Stop,” You whined as he fought with you to uncover your face. 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” He pouted, then smiled again as he placed a hand on your small baby bump.

The way your belly had started to grow was so endearing to him, a physical reminder of the life inside of you. Even as you hid, he pushed your nightgown up and over your tummy so he could place kisses along the skin that stretched slightly to start to accommodate his baby girl.

“I love you, Aera,” He whispered to your belly before kissing it again as you took your hands from your face, smiling at his words. 

“You really think it’s a girl, huh?”

“Only because it is,” Jungkook stuck his tongue out at you. You thought so too, so you didn’t argue. Jungkook had picked the name, saying it came to him in a dream. 

You loved it and there was never another thought as to what she would be called. It was perfect.

He moved up until he could kiss your lips, whispering against them, “Love you, sweet girl.”

“I love you, too,” you ran your fingers through his hair, “Jungkook?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what, love?”

You swallowed, “For saving me.”

It was the thousandth time you had thanked him. 

His smile was warm like honey, “You saved me first.”

-

It was August. 

It was the eighteenth day of August. 

The sun was bright, but it wasn’t too hot. There was a slight breeze, just enough to cool what heat the sun did provide.

You ate rice that morning, feeling better since the sickness in the mornings weren't present the past week.

You washed some garments early in the afternoon. Jungkook insisted he could do it, but you asked him if you could do at least a few things. You wanted to do something, you wanted to be helpful.

He couldn’t stop you from arranging the roses he brought for you from the bush on the small table, tucked into the vase that Taehyung had given to you after your wedding. 

“I’m fine,” You brushed him away with a laugh as he hovered over you while you folded the clothes that were dry after hanging outside since the day before, “I’m sitting, Jungkook!”

“I know,” He sighed, shifting nervously on his feet as he watched you, “I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

“Jungkook,” You gave him an unimpressed look, “I have not felt this good in months. I have barely done anything. All I’m doing is sitting and folding, it takes barely any effort.”

“I know,” He said again, but finally sounded like he might be calming as a small smile appeared on his face. After a few minutes in comfortable silence as you folded and he worked on his most recent project, he spoke up. 

“Are you hungry?”

You thought about it for a minute, then shook your head, “No, not really. You eat if you’re hungry though.”

He pouted, standing up and grabbing a pear from the small basket sitting atop the chest, “I don’t like eating when you’re not.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at his silliness. 

“How are they coming along?” You asked, trying to distract him. 

Jungkook immediately brightened and walked over to pick up his newest work, bringing them to you and setting them gently in your lap, “They’re finished.” 

You gasped at the most adorable little booties you had ever seen. It was clear he had spent time and a great deal of love on them. 

“Jungkook, these are so beautiful!”

He blushed, “Beautiful enough for our little girl?”

“Oh, certainly,” You smiled at him, holding the little shoes to your chest in a tiny hug, “She’s going to be so grateful to have a daddy that loves her so much.”

Jungkook breathed out an embarrassed chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as he smiled at you. 

-

It was August. 

It was the eighteenth day of August. 

The sun had set. It was cool, but not enough to be uncomfortable as you settled into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.

Jungkook was outside speaking with Taehyung, but you were exhausted, so you went to bed early. The three of you had been sitting around the fire, chatting. 

You had no worries. You didn’t toss any worries into the fire that night.

You went to bed early.

It was just over an hour later when you woke up, wincing at the foreign pain in your abdomen. Breathing deeply didn’t help. You sat up, a small grunt of pain leaving your lips as you did.

“Ah,” You tried to take another breath, but it only began to hurt more. 

Looking over to the door, you could see the glow of the fire still burning through the cracks. 

“Jungkook,” You called weakly, wincing.

Something was wrong.

There was a warm feeling between your legs. You lifted the covers but couldn’t see anything. So, you reached a hand down, brows creasing when your fingers came away wet. 

“Jungkook,” You called out again, fear settling in your heart, “Jungkook!”

The door opened and you saw him walk in, concern clear on his face at your hollering.

“Apple, what’s wrong?”

“I- I don’t know,” You began to cry, “It hurts.”

It was the eighteenth day of August. 

You remembered only fear and pain, the sound of Jungkook screaming for Taehyung to get his mother.

The feeling of strong arms lifting you from the bed and hurrying out of the front door. 

The moon was bright on the eighteenth day of August.

You could see it shining through the leaves as they blurred past. He was whispering for you to hold on. You were terrified. 

There were no clouds in the night sky, but the stars were shining.

The world felt cold.

There were no clouds, you couldn’t see them. 

You wondered if they could see you. 

You wondered if they wept for you. 

-

“Apple?”

You looked up from the small blanket in your hands.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if you were looking at him or through him. He swallowed thickly, his heart bleeding as he walked over and sat on the floor in front of you. Slowly, he took the blanket from you, but you didn’t react. 

“I’ve got some food for you, love.”

You said nothing. He took a steadying breath, then picked up the bowl of porridge and dipped your favorite wooden spoon into it, getting a good amount. 

“Open.”

You did nothing but look at the dirt on his clothes. 

“Apple, open your mouth.”

Finally, you listened, albeit slowly. He carefully placed the spoon past your lips, patient as ever while you swallowed. It was only a few spoonfuls that day. But it was more than the day before, where you hadn’t eaten a single thing.

“You did well,” He whispered as he set the still almost full bowl down next to him, “I’m proud of you.”

There was a faint smile on your face at his words, but your eyes were empty. Jungkook closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

It had been two months since that night, since you lost the baby. You weren’t the same since. 

He hadn’t been well either, but he couldn’t let himself check out like he wanted to. Not if he wouldn’t be there to take care of you.

Every night, he cried more tears than he thought physically possible. His baby girl was gone, his best friend slipping away from him soon after. 

He wasn’t sure how much he could handle before he followed suit. 

-

It was not until six months after the loss, that you began to come out of it. All those months were nothing but a blur to you. You had no control over anything during it. All you could remember was the color gray. It was like you had forgotten everything; how to eat, how to sleep, how to breathe. 

You certainly didn’t know how to live. 

You weren’t supposed to live. 

That plagued you every moment of those months. The guilt of giving Jungkook something so wonderful only to take it away again. You hated yourself. It felt like you had failed as a mother.

You hurt your best friend because your body couldn’t do what it was made to do. 

By the time you came out of it, you were so ridden with guilt that you almost couldn’t handle it. Not only because of the miscarriage, but because you realized what you put him through for all that time. He didn’t even get to grieve. 

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, eyes glued to the empty vase by the door. 

Jungkook looked at you from where he kneeled by the chest, just finishing putting a few things away. 

“Apple-”

“No,” You choked out, “You don’t have to comfort me. I should’ve been there for you. I shouldn't have let you suffer alone.”

He sighed and stood up, walking over to be in front of you, “I don’t blame you for that.”

“I do,” You wiped at your eyes, “And I’m so sorry. Please forgive me-”

“There is nothing to forgive,” He leaned down and kissed your forehead, “Do you really believe you chose to be trapped in that state of mind?”

After a moment, you shook your head. 

It happened instantly. One moment you were going to sleep while your husband and friend talked outside, the next moment the world was gray and you couldn’t do anything.

You lost six months of time, it was not your choice. 

But you still felt horrible. 

A few nights later, you held him as he cried. 

You dried his tears, finally able to be there for him when he needed you. 

-

You opened your eyes to see the roof of the small shack right in front of you.

A smile broke out on your face as you sat up in bed and looked to the side to see the sun shining through the window in a golden stream dancing across the dirty floor.

The bed creaked when you climbed off of it, rubbing your sore limbs as you walked over to the tiny table that Jungkook placed in the corner, smiling at the vase of flowers sitting there, as pretty as always. 

The roses must be blooming.

You sat in one of the two wooden chairs, rubbing your eyes before sniffing the air. 

Something smells good. 

You stood and walked over to the door to step outside, squinting as the bright sun wished you a good morning, shining its blinding light into your eyes. 

“Hi, love.”

You grinned at the young man who was busy cooking something over the fire, his bunny smile directed at you the second you came out. 

“Hi,” You croaked, morning voice betraying you. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Very,” You laughed lightly. 

Jungkook stood up, dusting off his clothes before walking over and placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Good, the food will be ready soon. Oh, and Taehyung is coming over.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up at the news. You hadn’t seen him in far too long. 

Jungkook nodded as he tucked a stray hair behind your ear, then he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your finger, right where your ring rested. 

-

When Taehyung came, he was relieved to see the two of you in better spirits. It had been over a year since you lost the baby. He wished he could erase that night from his own memory, the thought of being one of you in that situation was unimaginable. 

Jungkook was to be turning twenty-one in only a few days, and you were nineteen. Both of you had seen far too much grief in life already.

It was the first time he had seen you after coming out of the stupor you were in for half a year. 

You were taken by surprise when Taehyung immediately went to you and pulled you into a hug. Putting your arms around him, you hugged him back. 

“It’s good to see you again, little bird,” He whispered after pulling back. You weren’t aware that the last time he saw you, your gaze had been so vacant that he wasn’t sure you had even seen or heard him. You were sitting on the bed, looking at the vase he had gifted to you and never elsewhere. 

-

Taehyung stayed with you two for a few days, spending Jungkook’s birthday there.

The day after he left, you were sitting in the swing, pushing yourself back and forth slowly. The leaves on the trees were beginning to change color.

You smiled sadly at the sight of a tiny leaf sitting right next to a larger one. 

Even time could never heal some wounds. 

“Your daddy’s birthday was fun,” You whispered, pushing the swing back again, “He would have loved to spend it with you.”

It was unclear exactly when you had started to speak with her while you were alone. You refused to believe she couldn’t hear you.

Maybe she was sitting with the invisible person or climbing the apple tree as you swung below it. 

“We love you, a lot,” You looked over to the little bush that you had always felt was where they sat to talk with you. It felt different. 

Standing up from the swing, you slowly walked over, holding out a hand. Ever so gently, you touched a little leaf hanging from one of the skinny branches. If you listened close enough, you thought maybe you could hear the sound of tiny laughter.

You turned around, looking at the forest around you, listening as hard as you could. Then there was the sound of a twig snapping, which made you turn again to see the newcomer. 

“Jungkook. You startled me.”

“Sorry,” He smiled at you as he came closer, “I thought you might have been out here.”

You nodded, smiling at the swing. 

Part of you wanted to tell him what you had been doing, for years even, back when it started with the invisible person. Perhaps it might bring him some comfort as well. You weren’t sure why you felt a bit self-conscious though. Nevertheless, you didn’t say anything. 

“Did I interrupt something?” Jungkook asked, sensing that you were a little distracted. 

You shook your head with a laugh, “Not at all.”

Taking his hand, you turned to walk back with him as he excitedly told you about the meal he had prepared.

There was no special occasion, he informed you, it was just because he wanted to do something for you. You had done so many things for him since you were little without needing a reason, always saying you just wanted to. 

You laughed at his rambling as you walked, swinging your joined hands back and forth. Only once, you turned and looked over your shoulder at the swing that moved slightly in the breeze.

If you looked close enough, you thought you might see her. 

Long black hair flowing down her back as she swung back and forth. Tiny hands were gripping the rope tightly. There were pale yellow wings, like that of a bird, on her back. Her little legs kicked under the swing.

You couldn’t see her face, only a small glimpse of her very small nose when she looked to the side and laughed at something. There was a child’s voice whispering on the wind, but you couldn’t hear what they were saying. A moment later, you realized what it was.

“I’m okay, mommy.”

You blinked, and she was gone. 

-

“I wish you wouldn’t go.”

Jungkook bit his lip at your words, feeling terrible. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, “I promised her I’d accompany her to the Cho’s, she wants to be there by the end of the week at the earliest.”

You smiled, brushing it off, “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad for wanting to help your mother. I just wish the Cho’s lived closer.”

“So do I.”

“It can’t be helped,” You laughed quietly, “Your mother is too talented for her own good, pretty soon people will insist she multiply herself and live in each of their towns to help.”

He laughed, “She would do it too, if she could.”

-

You walked with him to the village to bid her farewell. She was so kind, it always brightened your day to see her. 

“I’ll try not to keep him too long,” She promised with a wink. 

You laughed, “Oh, keep him as long as you like. Make him do all the work.” Jungkook shook his head with a smile as you and his mother tittered, as if sharing jokes he was no part of. 

“You better go,” You gave her one last hug, “I don’t want you two traveling at night.”

His mother kissed you on the forehead sweetly, “Always so thoughtful. I will see you later, my dear.”

“Be safe,” You smiled warmly at her before turning to Jungkook. He leaned down and kissed the tip of your nose, pulling back with a smile.

“Is that all I get?” You whispered teasingly as his mother pretended to be busy with counting the things she was bringing. 

He only smirked, giving you a little wink as he backed away, “See you soon, Apple.”

-

He was meant to be gone for nine days. 

It wasn’t a quick journey to the town a few over; three days each way. And he was going to help his mother get settled for her two months stay.

The first few days were a little lonely, but on the fourth day, Yoongi came to see you. It felt like forever since you had seen him.

You sat and talked for hours on end, wanting to know every little thing that he had been doing. He told you all about the research he was doing on agriculture, and how he finally understood your love for nature. He also told you about the girl he was courting, much to his embarrassment at admitting how strongly he felt for her. 

It was wonderful. You had been so close as kids, growing up always made people and things grow apart. You hated it. 

Yoongi didn’t ask you how you were feeling, which you appreciated. You knew he cared, but he also knew and respected that you didn’t want to talk about it. The way you kept pushing the conversation onto what he was up to, made it clear enough even if he didn’t already know you well. 

-

Jungkook was meant to be gone for nine days. 

Word came five days into his absence, from a young teen boy, that he was going to be away for another week at most. You thanked the boy as he turned and ran off, laughing to yourself as you pulled the water bucket up from the well in the outskirts of the village.

The stream where you usually collected your water was oddly sparse that week, so you thought you might as well come into the village and see Yoongi before getting some water to bring back home.

The next day, you came back to see him again, getting more water on the way. As you were leaving, wooden bucket sloshing around with water as you held it in both your arms, you stopped when you saw someone standing in front of you. 

“I thought it might be you!” 

“Jisoo?” Your eyes widened when you saw the girl you hadn’t spoken to in at least three years. She looked a bit older, more mature than when you last saw her. There was a child in her arms, just over a year old at most. 

Jisoo nodded, “I’ve seen you around a few times over the years, but wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.”

You laughed, “Why shouldn’t I?”

She shrugged, the baby on her hip smiling at you. You smiled back, a horrible pain in your heart as you did. 

“You were always off with that strange boy, what’s his name-”

“Jungkook,” You said, a bit shortly, “His name is Jungkook. And he’s my husband.”

“Ah yes,” She looked a little embarrassed, “Jungkook. I must admit, I never could see what you saw in him until the other week. He really has changed.”

You didn’t like the smirk on her face as she said that. 

“No,” You adjusted the water in your arms to better hold it, then you looked her up and down, “Out of everyone in this village, it seems he’s the only one that hasn’t had to.”

Jisoo didn’t respond at first, only shifted uncomfortably as you stared at her. 

“Yes, well,” A nasty smile curved on her lips, “Tell him if he ever wants a girl that can keep a baby, he can come to me anytime he’d like.”

She laughed at your silence before walking around you and leaving.

If there wasn’t a child in her arms, you would’ve dumped the water you were holding all over her. Only heaven knows what you would’ve done after that.

Instead, you stood there, unable to say a word or move a muscle, even after she left. There was a slight tremble in your knees as you stared at the dirt where she once stood. You blinked a few times, swallowing the pain from your heart that almost came crawling out of your throat in a horrible scream. 

After a minute, you lifted your chin and kept walking.

-

You were strolling along the outskirts of the village, a few flowers in hand that you picked, small white ones. It was silent except for the rustle of leaves and the very quiet mumbling of you talking to the forest around you as you looked for more flowers. 

“Pretty,” You muttered as you picked up a yellow one that you hadn’t ever seen before. 

The sound of running and someone screaming broke you out of your trance and shattered the sacred silence. You turned to see a young girl around twelve hurrying up to you. 

“You’re miss ____, right?”

Blinking in confusion, you nodded. 

“Please help us,” She whimpered, and you finally noticed the tears on her face. 

“What’s the matter?” You asked, fully alarmed. 

“My cousin he’s- he’s fallen ill. No one knows what to do since the medicine lady is gone.”

Your stomach turned, “I- I don’t know medicine-”

“You married her son, didn’t you?”

You nodded again, throat dry. 

“She must have taught you something! Please, he’ll die-”

“Take me to him.”

Your voice sounded much stronger than you felt.

The girl grabbed your hand and you ran after her, all the way through the village and to a relatively large home, one almost twice the size as everyone else’s. You went in, following the girl to a room where you could hear crying.

The second you stepped in, your heart stopped. 

Jisoo was there, weeping. There was another woman, her mother, pacing the room. Lying on the floor on a few cushions, was a small boy, only three years of age. He was sweating, little whimpers leaving his mouth. 

You snapped out of your shock and immediately jumped into action, “Get out,” You shoved Jisoo’s mother out of the room, gesturing for Jisoo to do the same. 

“I’m not leaving, why are you here anyway?!” She shrieked. 

You turned towards her and hissed quietly, “If you don’t want to leave your other child motherless, get out.”

The girl that had come to fetch you took the shocked young woman’s arm and led her out, explaining to her that you were there to help. That you knew the medicine lady and could help.

You shut your eyes, taking a deep breath. 

Pull yourself together. 

When you opened your eyes, your mind was no longer clouded with panic. You were not educated in medicine, but your mother-in-law did show you a few things over the years you’d known her that might be of some help.

You called out a few orders to the people outside of the room, telling them to hurry as fast as they could. Then you turned and went to the small child. He was looking at you, his eyes showing the terror he felt. 

“You don’t have to be afraid,” You whispered, offering him a gentle smile as you knelt on the floor next to where he lay. He didn’t resist when you placed a hand on his forehead, then carefully ran your fingers across it, brushing the damp hairs away. 

“You’re going to be alright, I promise,” You kept running your fingers along his cheeks, the action seeming to calm him, “I’m not going to leave you.”

He looked just like his mother.

Jisoo always had the prettiest eye shape, and he definitely inherited it.

There were frantic voices on the other side of the door, but you ignored them. 

-

For hours you stayed in the room with the boy, cooling his skin with wet rags and feeding him the remedies that you could remember how to make. The people outside did everything you asked and would leave things at the door for you to grab and bring back inside with you.

When day turned into night, you still sat there with him, replacing the cold cloths on his skin with fresh ones. He eventually fell asleep. 

You sighed with relief, knowing the worst had passed. If he could sleep, he was going to be fine. 

-

You woke up on the floor of the room, blinking at the sun coming in through the window. Only a few feet away, the child still slept soundly.

Reaching out a hand, you felt his forehead, then mumbled a prayer of thanks to the invisible person you knew was there. They must have listened to your earnest requests the night before; his skin was cool to the touch, and he was breathing normally.

You stood up, groaning quietly at the soreness of your muscles from your sleeping position. 

When you walked out and saw Jisoo sitting on a stump just outside the door, you approached her, “He’s going to be fine.”

She flinched at the sound of your voice, then turned and saw you standing there. It was silent for a minute, then she stood up and faced you, “If you think I’m going to thank you, then you’re just as crazy as they always said you were.”

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it. 

“How dare you barge into my home and order me around?” Jisoo stepped closer, “Of course he’s going to be fine. He was just feeling a little off, you did nothing, you are not a hero.”

You stared at her for another minute. 

“Ok, Jisoo,” You finally whispered, moving to get around her. She grabbed your arm though, before you could leave, “Don’t ever step foot into my home again. We don’t want your curse spread to us, infertile witch.”

Shoving your arm away as if she would catch something from being around you too long, she walked back inside.

All you could do for a moment was bite your lip harshly and stare at a stick on the ground. You knew, deep down inside, that even if you had known that would be her response, you still would’ve done the same thing; that child didn’t deserve to be in pain. 

You walked all the way back to the shed, for the first time saying nothing to the trees and flowers that you passed on the way. 

Maybe they missed your voice. 

Maybe they cried for you. 

-

You woke up the next day feeling strange.

The night before, you had felt a little hot and didn’t pull the covers over your body like you always did. In fact, you had chosen to strip yourself of all your clothes in the middle of the night while half asleep, which would explain the confused state you were in upon waking up completely naked. 

Your head was aching and the sun was too bright.

Why ever was the sun that bright anyway?

You didn’t realize that you had slept well into the afternoon after unknowingly tossing and turning for hours in the night. 

Standing up from the bed after pulling on a simple dress, the room spun for a moment before righting itself. You were going to get some fruit from the basket, but decided against it when the thought made your stomach turn.

You drank water instead, then climbed back into the bed and removed your obnoxious clothing again, but this time pulled the covers up to your chin and promptly fell asleep. 

-

Yoongi knocked on the door of the shed again, waiting with furrowed brows. You hadn’t come into the village since the day before last and he was worried. The stream was still too dry to gather water and he had been expecting you to be going back for more at the well and visiting him while you were at it.

You said you would.

He had heard about what happened with Jisoo and wanted to let you know that her son was feeling much better. 

When the third time he knocked was still unanswered, he opened the door and walked into the small but comfortable living space. His eyes were instantly drawn to the bed, where there was a little lump in the covers. 

“____?” He walked over and shook your shoulder gently, “Wake up, you daft girl. It’s mid-day already!”

When you didn’t respond, his frown deepened and he shook you harder, letting out a small gasp when you turned over and he saw how clammy your skin was. 

“____, wake up!”

Finally, you peeled your eyes open, they looked glassy and unfocused. 

“Hm?”

Your cousin turned your body more to get a better look at your face, noticing briefly that you were unclothed under the covers, “____, what’s happened? Why are you like this? Are you ill?”

Your brows creased as you looked at him in confusion, “Wha-...Yoongi, is that you?”

His stomach dropped at the state you were in.

Something was terribly wrong. 

“I’m going to go get someone,” Yoongi spoke slowly and clearly, “I need you to do your best in waking up, alright?”

You didn’t really acknowledge him, only mumbled something incoherent, but he didn’t have time to figure it out. He rushed out of the shack and through the woods, unsure who he was going to get but knowing he needed help. 

-

The next few days were horrific. 

There were two other people in the shack alongside Yoongi that did more than they ever cared to when you were young.

They tried their best to feed you, to cool the burning heat of your skin, to keep you from thrashing about and hurting yourself when you were racked with suffering.

You didn’t understand what was happening. You didn’t recognize anyone there, not even your own cousin. All you knew was that you were in pain and scared. 

Sometimes you saw your mother, standing over your bed and shaking her head at you in disappointment. She kept calling you the sick one, the sick one.

Sometimes you saw a man that you thought was your father. He did nothing but stare at you emotionlessly, standing in the corner of the room. 

Most of the time you saw the strange people with cloths over their mouths. They would put painfully cold things on your head and try to pry your mouth open to shove things inside. You fought them the best you could, but you grew weaker by the hour and couldn’t fend them off for long.

The nights were the worst at first; the pain reaching levels you had never experienced, ripping broken screams from your throat. Soon, the nights blended into the days, the agony never ceasing. 

You didn’t know why two of the strange people left one day and never came back.

You didn’t hear Yoongi urging them to leave after seeing the rash spreading on your skin, telling them to stay away from the others until they knew they hadn’t caught it, lest the entire village be consumed by typhoid. 

_______________________________

Yoongi sat outside of the shack, staring at the lone flower that was growing a few feet in front of the door. Inside, you were screaming. 

The only thing he could catch from what you were sobbing was Jungkook’s name. 

Apparently you remembered him. 

You had been sick for nine days, only growing worse each day.

Taehyung ran up, breathing heavily as he stopped in front of his older friend. 

“Jungkook is on the way home, but he doesn’t know.”

“You know this, how?” Yoongi mumbled. 

Everyone he had sent out over the past week said they couldn’t find him.

“Someone said they passed him on the road two days ago, he wasn’t in a hurry. He doesn’t know-”

The sound of agonized screaming reached his ears, his eyes widening in horror. He almost ran in, but Yoongi stopped him. 

“Don’t.”

“But-”

“There’s nothing we can do now,” Yoongi whispered, grief clear in his eyes, “You cannot risk going in there and catching it. You shouldn’t even be here.”

Taehyung took a faltering step back, shaking as his hands came up to cover his ears at the next round of dreadful sobbing. 

“Taehyung, look at me.”

His eyes darted to the older boy. 

“You need to get Jungkook, before it’s too late.”

He hated that he understood what was meant by that. 

He hated that he understood no one could save you. 

Stumbling away, Tae turned and ran, disappearing into the forest.

Yoongi gulped and turned to look at the door, knowing what would meet him when he went back in. Miraculously, he had not caught anything yet.

That did not lessen his fear of entering.

Catching it was not what he feared. 

Stepping back into the door, Yoongi’s gaze fell on you instantly.

You were crying quietly, dressed in nothing but a thin nightgown, too weak to rip it off of your otherwise naked body. There was no recognition in your eyes when they landed on him. 

“Please,” You whispered hoarsely, throat torn to shreds from the only way you were able to manage the torment you were in, “I need him.”

“I know.”

“Why hasn’t he come for me?”

It was the most you had said in over a week, your exhausted gaze drifting around the room, as if searching once more. 

“Why did he leave me?” 

Yoongi saw the endless stream of tears on your cheeks, his heart breaking.

Your chest shook with each little breath you took, not enough to keep your lungs full.

“I’m scared.”

You didn’t know who this was in front of you, but there was no one else to talk to. 

“I’m so sorry, ____.”

You blinked, a few more tears falling. Your body had been trembling for days, you couldn’t control it. Yoongi noticed that you no longer tried to, you just laid there, shivering. 

“He said,” You swallowed, voice shaky, “He’d never leave me.”

“Jungkook is coming, ____. I promise. Just hold on a little longer.”

At his words, he saw a tiny smile on your chapped lips. The indescribable pain you were in was clear, but there was a tiny light in your eyes when you heard his name. 

“He’ll come and hold me?” You whispered, eyes locked on the stranger standing next to your bed. 

“Yes,” Yoongi choked out, “He will come and hold you until you fall asleep.”

“Oh,” Your eyes shifted, a small smile still on your face as you looked at the dead roses in the vase behind the stranger, “Okay.”

After a few minutes of silence apart from the ragged breaths that escaped you, Yoongi went and sat in a chair at the little table, his head falling into his hands. 

“It hurts a bit,” You mumbled, staring at a tiny crack in the ceiling. 

He swallowed, knowing that it hurt a lot more than that. 

-

Taehyung ran until he couldn’t breathe, yet he didn’t stop.

He kept running.

Jungkook couldn’t be too far away, he couldn’t be.

It wasn’t too late.

-

Yoongi stood up and walked to the bed, a horrible pit in his stomach at how silent you had been the past few minutes.

When he got closer, he saw your chest rising and falling slightly. He let out the breath he had been holding, fingers digging into his eyes as he rubbed them.

You weren’t gone yet. 

The smallest groan slipped from your lips. He watched you closely for another minute, then he heard the sound of running from outside.

Turning, he hurried out of the shack, but saw no one. He decided to go down the path a little way to see if he could see them approaching. 

“Taehyung?” He called out, “Jungkook!”

But there was no answer.

-

“Jungkook!!”

Jungkook flinched in surprise when he saw Taehyung running towards him, screaming.

He smiled and waved, adjusting the sack on his shoulder that he had been carrying for a while. Maybe he could get Tae to carry it back for him.

But he was only a few minutes from the village, why was he meeting him here?

Taehyung stumbled, falling into the younger, who caught him. 

“What’s gotten into-”

“It’s ____!” Tae choked out, coughing violently from not being able to breathe. 

“What?” Jungkook’s heart stopped in his chest. 

“She’s- she’s sick-”

Taehyung couldn’t even finish his sentence before Jungkook took off running, the things he previously carried lying in a heap on the ground.

-

Jungkook raced all the way to the village and through it, ignoring the silent stares as he passed.

His heart was in his throat, terror filling him as he ran as fast as he could. 

The village was quiet that day. 

The people watched as they always did. 

But the village was quiet that day. 

-

You opened your eyes slowly; the stranger wasn’t there. 

They had left you. 

Your bottom lip quivered before you bit it, the excruciating pain in your abdomen silencing your cries; it hurt too bad to scream.

A shaky breath went into your lungs, trickling back out seconds later.

He didn’t come back. 

You blinked, a tear rolling down your cheek. 

You were all alone. 

“Apple. You love me, right?”

His voice echoed in your muddled brain as you stared at the wilted roses across the room. 

“Yes,” You whispered weakly, the room turning cold, his presence that you thought was there fading away.

Please don’t leave. I’m scared to be alone.

Fear slowly started to consume you as your eyes drifted around the dark empty place you called home. 

Then they closed gently. 

________________________________________

When your eyes opened again, there was someone standing there. 

You sat up, confused when it didn’t hurt.

It didn’t hurt anymore.

Nothing hurt, at all. 

There was an overwhelming sense of calm around you. All of the worries that plagued your mind were gone. You couldn’t remember a single thing that once caused your heart to be so heavy with grief. 

Your eyes lifted back to the person standing in the middle of the room. It was a small girl, only five years of age; long black hair falling past her shoulders and doe eyes watching you.

There were feathery yellow wings on her tiny back, and a bunny-like smile on her cute face. 

She looked just like somebody you once knew. 

You couldn’t remember who it was though. 

The girl stretched her hand out towards you and you finally noticed there was another figure there as well, standing next to her.

You couldn’t see their face, only a bright glow shaped like a tall human. The two of them felt familiar somehow, like they had been waiting for you for a long time.

“Come on,” The little girl laughed, “You’re okay now.”

You moved your legs to the side of the bed and climbed out.

There was no hesitation as you walked forward and took her tiny hand, the smile on her face growing even more when you did.

___________________________________

Jungkook rushed through the forest, thin branches scratching his face and arms.

But he didn’t stop.

When he could see home, he pushed himself harder, fear gripping his heart when he saw Yoongi standing just outside of the door, staring at nothing. He pushed past the silent man and stumbled inside, freezing up at the sight that met him. 

You were lying in the bed, seemingly asleep, but with face and lips drained of color. The dark lashes resting on your cheeks were a stark contrast.

He stood there, staring at your figure.

“Apple?” His voice sounded far away, not like his own. 

Jungkook walked forward, bending down and cupping your cheek with his hand.  

“Wake up, Apple,” He whispered, brushing the hair from your face and shaking you gently, “I’m bah-...I’m back.”

When you didn’t respond, he shook you a little harder, his whole body beginning to tremble, “Please,” His voice broke, “Please wake up…I-”

A quiet sob cut him off as his shaking hands cupped your cooling cheeks once more, “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me-”

He carefully lifted your frail body, pulling you into his lap and cradling you in his arms.

Yoongi stepped inside the door.

Taehyung came in right behind him, his eyes closing slowly when he saw Jungkook sitting on the bed and holding you against him in a tight embrace.

“Apple, I’m sorry, pleas-” He whimpered as he held the back of your head with gentle hands, rocking you back and forth, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t there.

He wasn’t there to hold you.

You were cold and alone. 

A sob tore itself from his throat as he held you tighter, praying that you could feel his warmth and hear him begging for you to come back.

You weren’t supposed to go without him.

“Jungkook.”

“Please don’t leave me alone,” He pleaded hoarsely. 

Maybe, if he begged hard enough, you would listen to him and come back. 

“Jungkook.”

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke my promise, Apple. I won’t leave you anymore,” Jungkook coughed, choking on his tears, “I won’t leave you ever again, ever.”

Yoongi gulped, unsure what to do. The guilt was eating him alive; he had stepped out only for a minute. Because of him, you died alone.

“I promise we can climb the apple tree whenever you want, you can eat all of the fruit before dinner, I won’t ever say no,” Tears ran down his face as he caressed your hair, just the way you always liked, “I won’t tell you that you should wait until after dinner, I promise. I promise.”

Taehyung put his face in his hands, his stomach turning. It didn’t feel real, you couldn’t be gone. 

“You were faster than me.”

Tae looked up to see Jungkook was cradling you like a child, thumb brushing your cheek as he spoke softly, his eyes running over your face. 

“You beat me to the swing, fair and square.”

Yoongi sucked in a breath and bit his lip. 

Memories of that day floated through his mind; the way you shrieked with laughter as you climbed onto the swing, too small to get on easily. 

“Push me! Push me!”

He could hear your tiny giggles clear as day. 

Jungkook rested his forehead against yours, his breath warming your lips as his hot tears fell onto cold cheeks, “I love you,” he spoke under his breath, for only you to hear, “I loved you since the first moment I saw you. I can't live without you.”

Maybe, if he said it enough times, you would listen to him and come back. 

“Jungkook,” Yoongi choked out, “We need to move her.”

There was no reply.

Taehyung swallowed the heavy lump in his throat, “Yoongi-”

“It’s still contagious,” The older boy whispered, “We can’t let him be with her for too long.”

“But-”

Yoongi turned on him, anger and sorrow lit up in his eyes, “Get him out of here.”

Taehyung clenched his jaw, then walked around him, over to where Jungkook was still whispering to you. 

“Jungkook,” He took a shuddering breath, “I’m sorry.”

It was like he couldn’t hear a word the older boy was saying, tears falling endlessly as he held you close, continuing to sway you just a little.

Taehyung moved down to remove one of Jungkook’s hands from you, but the younger’s grip tightened. 

“Jungkook-” Tae strengthened his own efforts, finally prying his hands from you and trying to pull him up. 

“Let go of me!” Jungkook screamed, ripping his arm away and moving to hold you again. He kept you in his lap, arms around you protectively, refusing to let either of them close. 

Yoongi stepped in, “Jungkook, you need to let go-”

“No!”

“Let her go,” Yoongi’s voice cracked as he struggled with pulling you out of his arms while Taehyung grabbed Jungkook. 

“Stop it!” Jungkook was bawling his eyes out frantically as he reached for you, “Don’t take her! Please!! Yoongi, Yoongi, please!!” 

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s chest, not letting him get a chance to fight your cousin, who was gently laying your body on the bed again and covering you with the sheet. 

“Please!!!” Jungkook was screaming at the top of his lungs, heart crushed far beyond repair, “Please don’t take her!!”

“Get him out!” 

Taehyung dragged Jungkook kicking and screaming from the shack.

In the tussle, they knocked into the small table, the vase teetering for a moment before falling to the floor, a long crack running through it as the dead roses lay scattered about. 

“I hate you! I hate you!”

He didn’t know who he was screaming at. 

But maybe, if he screamed loud enough, you would hear him.

Maybe, you would come back. 

_____________________________

It was the year 1523 when you left him.

You were nineteen years old.

Jungkook sat curled up in the corner of the shack, legs tucked up to his chest as he stared at the broken vase on the floor. It had been three days since you passed, he hadn’t slept. All he had done was sit in the corner and stare at nothing.

He shut them all out.

They had taken you away from him. 

He never saw you again. 

Except in his mind. 

His days and nights were haunted by the last time he had spoken with you. 

“Is that all I get?” 

Your voice echoed in his mind, the smile on your face burned into his bruised and bleeding heart. He didn’t kiss you, he didn’t tell you he loved you.

All he did was leave.

Jungkook closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, a tear sliding down his cheek and dripping from his chin. 

-

He would be found only hours later, still curled up in the corner.

It was a broken heart, they said.

It took three agonizing days after your death for him to follow.

For a human heart can only take so much pain, before it can’t. 

__________________________________

“How utterly wretched.”

Jungkook opened his eyes to see a tall figure standing over him as he sat in the corner of the dark shed.

The only thing he felt while looking at the demon who was staring at him with mock pity, was an empty hatred.

He whispered hoarsely, “You said she would live.”

Lucifer leaned down, a sneer on his face, “I only said I would get rid of her disease. Typhoid fever is a nasty business, isn’t it? Strange that she was the only one in the village to catch it after miraculously helping the boy. A real tragedy.”

Jungkook just stared at him. 

“A life for a life, that’s what you told me,” He finally spat, the anger beginning to spread through his body. 

“Ah yes,” The Devil chuckled and rocked back on his heels, as if the whole ordeal was quite amusing to him, “See, we didn’t agree on a third life though. I was far too nice to let you get off so easily with conceiving the infant.”

Jungkook gulped. 

“Oh,” The miserable creature’s face fell and he pouted, “That one didn’t make it either, did it?”

“She,” Jungkook hissed, “Her name is Aera-”

“Well, it was going to be,” Lucifer threw his head back and laughed, “Rest assured I had nothing to do with that unfortunate incident.”

It was silent for a moment, then Jungkook spoke up quietly, “You were never going to save her, were you?” His eyes were locked on the dead roses, “You lied.”

“And you,” Lucifer crouched and leaned close, “Fell for it.”

Jungkook’s eyes closed as he did his best to conjure up an image of you.

You were somewhere safe and warm, where the sun kissed your cheeks and danced upon your fingers.

Somewhere the apples were sweet and crisp, where the water was never too cold.

There was a sharp pain on the skin of his outer right bicep, making him grit his teeth as the demon laughed darkly.

“Look at how ruined you are,” The voice whispered with shameless glee, “All because of love.”

You were somewhere you could fly with the clouds, never alone.

Somewhere the roses would always bloom. 

“Don’t bother.”

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at the demon. 

“She isn’t anywhere pleasant.”

His heart shattered into a million little pieces. 

“She’s somewhere cold,” Lucifer stared at him, “Stuck alone in the dark, full of unbearable torment, just like her last moments..”

Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat. 

“All because you left her. All because of Him.”

The young man’s eyes were filled with tears of anguish that slowly ebbed into a deep resentment with each word the Devil spoke. 

“He did this to you, you know that right?” Lucifer smirked, “You were created by Him. He made you, so that you could suffer.”

The despair clung to his heart like a lead weight, another burning scratch going across his skin, right where the pounding muscle lay.

“He created you to love her and lose her. Tell me; was it worth it, Jungkook?”

The torment wouldn’t come to an end. 

The deal was struck and the punishment would never lessen.

Even without understanding why, the agonizing torture of his heart ripping itself to shreds over and over again, would never ever stop. 

For a human heart can only take so much pain, before it can’t.

But the heart of a demon can never die.

________________________________________

a/n: tysm for reading, your thoughts are always welcome

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook demon au #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts #bts reactions #bts angst #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts demon au #bts smut #demon!jungkook

[the-californicationist]

he finds a safe house

You and your captain have lost communication with the rest of the team in a terrible blizzard. When you stumble upon a ghost town, you take refuge in a safe house...and each other.

TW: scars, one bed (ish)

AO3 Link

“Ghost! How copy? Riley, come in!” Price shouted into his headset. 

You were sending cover fire over the fallen tree that you and your captain were hiding behind. Unfortunately, you’d been separated from the rest of your team. Soap, Ghost, and Gaz were on the other side of the large, icy ravine, and they had done a good job drawing the enemy away from the target zone. Price kept trying to connect, but there was too much snow cover. A nasty blizzard was rolling in, and you needed to find better hiding spot, quickly. 

“Captain! Enemy has been eliminated. We need to find shelter,” you tried to pull him up off of the ground. 

He looked up at you, frustrated,

“Aye, Corporal, but they’ll be back. We need to find a way to warn the boys.” 

“Look,” you showed him the map on your datapad, “Laswell said there’s an old town…I think she called it Khabnoye? It’s been abandoned for years, about two klicks away. There might be some old technology, radios, whatever. We can reach them on some long-range.”

“Alright, let’s move.”

It was a short distance, but the terrain was brutal due to the snow. You made it there by nightfall, and carefully approached the outskirts of the town, following Price’s lead to scope out possible enemy combatants. There was no one in sight. It truly was a ghost town, and you were justifiably creeped the hell out. 

A small house was mostly intact near the very edge of the town, plenty of empty space around its edges, and only one broken window. You began to sweep the rooms, of which there were only three, noting that its prior occupants had left in quite a hurry sometime in the late 80s. You were fighting a nameless, secret war inside of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, so most of the towns you came across were similarly abandoned. 

You stood in the kitchen with Price, catching your breath and unpacking your bag. He was starting up the small, convective space heater checking for high levels of radiation in the room, making sure it was sustainable for the night. 

“Alright, let’s go dark. No lights, no comms until we get a better idea about what happened,” he said in a low voice. 

“Yes, sir. I did get a notification from Soap, but the message is unreadable,” you showed him the datapad before you powered it down. 

He sighed,

“At least we know he’s alive and stable enough to send comms. We’ll work on connecting when this storm blows through.”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Drop the formality, Sparrow. Not spending the whole night listening to your sirs.”

He was upset. The operation was ruined, and he had no idea where his team was or if they were even alive anymore. You said nothing, letting him unpack two MREs and prep the bags for you. You checked the other rooms. There was a tiny, filthy bathroom without running water, and a bedroom with a dingy full mattress without sheets. You set to work arming the windows with night vision motion cameras - much good may it do you with all this snow - and rigged the front door. 

“No use,” Price muttered, digging into his chili and beans MRE, starving.

“Why? You think we’re safe here?”

“No tracks in or out. No trash younger than me, and no pings for ten miles,” he showed you his passive EMP monitor, “Our tracks are covered by now with the storm. They’ll assume we rendezvoused back at the base. It was closer and easier to access.”

“Closer? Why’d you come here then?”

“Base might be compromised,” he shrugged, “Couldn’t reach McTavish, so we can’t assume anything at this point. Might as well get comfortable and wait til morning. This’ll clear once the sun comes out, and we’ll send an AM ping.”

You sighed a breath of pure relief, 

“I know I’ve only been with you guys for a few months, but honestly, I don’t know what’s more impressive, your technology or your level-headedness under insane fire. Feeling very much like the amateur I am, Captain.”

“You handled yourself well out there, little bird. I’m impressed,” his praise rushed through you like adrenaline, and you basked in it. 

“Thanks, Cap,” you smiled, drinking the broth of your soup and packing up your MRE trash into its bag. 

“You smoke cigars, love?”

It was midnight before you even considered going to bed. You and Price had stayed up in the kitchen, smoking and chatting in the dark, only illuminated by the glow of your ashes. The snow fluttered down outside, layering itself on the ground like a pile of white sheets. There’d be at least two feet of it at the door tomorrow morning. 

“...and I got this one in Amsterdam, chasing some smugglers out of the wharf. Motherfucker stabbed me right through the arm. Missed the bones, thank Christ. But, that’s not the bad one.”

You were telling each other stories about your scars, and you were in all states of dress. It was warm with the space heater, and you were comfortable around each other. Aside from admiring the mountainous swell of his shoulders and chest, you tried not to think much of it. He was hot, but he wasn’t interested. You just had a small crush. It would pass. 

Okay, maybe a big crush. But, you had some self-control. 

Some. 

“Oh,” he leaned across the table to get closer and look at your arm, “What was the bad one?”

You blushed, not that he could see it in the darkness, 

“It’s in a certain spot. Not sure you want to - ”

“Don’t make me beg, little bird,” he smirked, rolling his eyes at your modesty. 

He was right, of course. You weren’t sure why you were shy. 

Liar. You were shy because you had an enormous, filthy crush on your commanding officer. 

You tucked your elbow beneath your shirt and pulled it up over your chest, showing him your sternum,

“This one. It’s a - ”

“Flare burn,” he whispered, his demeanor changing from jovial to serious very quickly. 

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

He was silent for a long time. You watched as Price too a big mouthful of cigar smoke before letting it billow around him, looking like a big, brooding dragon in the quiet room. 

“How’d you get it?” He asked, avoiding your question. 

“Enemy trap. They rigged the door to blow a flare. My vest, all my plate, none of it mattered. The flare burned so hot that it cut right through the gear like butter. If it wasn’t for our medic knowing that he needed to knock it out, I would’ve died. Three weeks in the med bay. It was bad.”

Price reached out slowly, almost as if not to scare you, and touched the circular wound. It wasn’t sexual, but that didn’t stop you from immediately feeling aroused by having his hands on you. You shuddered involuntarily, and he jerked his hand back. The silence in the room was suffocating.

“Sorry, little bird,” he whispered his apology, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” you chuckled, taking a drag of his cigar for yourself, trying to calm down, “Uh, no.”

“What?” He prodded, not realizing what truth he was asking you for.

“It’s nothing, sir,” you stood up from the table, trying to escape, and forgetting you were in a 200 square foot house. 

He stood with you, reaching out to touch your shoulder. You sighed into his contact against your will, feeling the stress of the day melt away as he did. 

“It just…” You tried to throw him a hint, “Feels good, you know. To be touched. Been a long time… sorry, sir.” 

“Told you to swallow those sirs, little bird,” he whispered in a low rumble, putting his other hand on your other shoulder, grabbing you gently. 

There was very little space between your bodies now that you were away from the table, standing in the no-man’s-land between the bed and the kitchenette. It smelled like sweat and tobacco and 1987 in there, and you were breathing hard, nervous and desperate for him to do something to you that he couldn’t take back. 

“Sorry,” you said under your breath, not knowing what else to tell him.

Price lifted your chin up to meet his eyes, grabbing your jaw firmly, but gently. In the blackness of the night, the moon reflected only a little of his icy blue eyes, and the glow from his cigar made his face appear sharp and saurian. You didn’t expect for his touch to be so light. Just hours ago, he’d snapped a man’s neck with these same hands, and now he was passing the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip like you were the petal of an orchid, careful not to bruise you. 

“I’m trying,” his breath was ragged as he confessed, “I promise, I’m trying to let it go, little bird.”

“Let what go?” You put your hands on his hips, trying to steady yourself, feeling dizzy with lust and fear. 

“My desire,” he put his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, struggling, “Turn me away. Please, little bird. End my fucking torment. I’ll never mention it again. I swear it.”

You kissed him, pressing your lips into his chastely but firmly, enjoying the heat and the smoothness of his skin, the smell and the feel of his beard, coated in tobacco smoke and his own sweat. The comforting spice of the chili lingering on his mouth. He breathed in like you’d pressed a hot iron brand into him, blissful pain radiating through his body, pulling you in close to his chest. He deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against yours, moving your skull with his powerful jaws, leading you, commanding and strong in his desire. 

“Love, don’t…don’t do this. Not unless you mean it. I’m bloody beggin’ you.”

You smiled, resting your nose alongside his, kissing him again slowly and carefully before answering him, 

“I mean it, John. I mean it.”

#captain john price #captain price #john price #captain price x reader #captain price x you #cod mw2 #cod mwii #call of duty fanfic #cod