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widxwed · 9 months

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TaskForce 141 x Male Medic Reader

❛ Just let me help you ❜

- A / N : first post! Sorry if its short, I'm ill at the moment

Simon " Ghost " Riley

💀 ⁾ he tries to hide his pain from you

💀 ⁾ when you do find out he tries to push you and tell you he's okay when he really isn't. he doesn't understand that you don't find him weak and they you actually want to help him. not call him weak

💀 ⁾ when you finally convince him to let you help him he is a bitch about it the whole time. he " doesn't need your help ". you obviously beg to differ

💀 ⁾ he stays still for you though. he doesn't fight you

💀 ⁾ ghost won't tell you where it hurts so you physically have to tuouch every where until he winces or tenses up. it pisses him off that you can read him so well

💀 ⁾ when you finish patching him up he thanks you begrudgingly. you tell him what he needs to do and he actually listens to you. he knows deep down you're a good medic and that he can trust you but he's just so full of himself he thinks he's so perfect and doesn't need help

💀 ⁾ you two are kinda friends. he won't admit it but he actually wants to be on your good side. he wants you to teach him everything you know even though he probably won't remember it. he'll bring injured tranies to you just to watch you work on their wounds. he's very obviously mesmerized by how you know exactly what to do

💀 ⁾ when he finds out you've been drowning yourself in work he puts a stop to it. he is pissed off at you, the army, and everyone for being " so god damn clumsy "

💀 ⁾ he'll tell you to stop and will drag you from your office. he's not gonna be the most gentle about it. he'll sit you down on the couch, make you some leftovers, and do all the paperwork he can just for you. he doesn't want you to get sick. he doesn't want their medic to be sick

💀 ⁾ he also just doesn't want you to feel ill because he cares a lot

💀 ⁾ when you're on your forced break and someone gets an injury he does what he can and says that you'll check them out later. he's not kind about that so people know not to get hurt when you're on a break

💀 ⁾ you're very much " built to be a medic ", meaning you aren't meant to fight people, more help people so when someone calls you weak ghost is immediately pissed off. he obviously tells them off saying things like: " he does so much more than you do, soldier " and " next time you tend to your own damn wounds then, yeah? ". he's would fight anyone for you no matter if you can stand up for yourself or not

💀 ⁾ he does learn to respect you and your work but he'll never take your help when you first offer it. he's too proud

John " Soap " MacTavish

🧼 ⁾ he is one of the few people that will actually go straight to you with his pain. he won't hide it from you

🧼 ⁾ he knows your too smart for his dumb ass trying to hide things from you and you'll find out in your own way. he'd rather you just know rather than you worrying. you worrying makes him sad

🧼 ⁾ when he tell you he follows up by saying " I can take care of it myself, don't worry mo ghràdh. " you obviously worry and tell him that he needs your help and that you will help him one way or another. he huffs at you and just lets you. your not worth fighting. he'd rather waste his energy on anything else. plus, he loves and appreciates you way to much to argue ( trans : my darling )

🧼 ⁾ when he finally gives in to you wanting to help he pouts like a toddler about it. he trusts your judgement and steady hand though. he admits that you're doing a better job that he could just to let you know that he does care

🧼 ⁾ he doesn't want you to feel useless because he wants to help himself

🧼 ⁾ he moves way too much. it was bold of you to assume he wouldn't. he just has way too much energy

🧼 ⁾ soap will tell you where it hurts just to make it easier on you. he will make a big deal out of small pains to make you feel more useful and to keep you busy

🧼 ⁾ he just wants to spend more time with you

🧼 ⁾ once you finish soap thanks you over and over again. you roll your eyes at him and have to physically push him out of your office. he just wants medic's to feel appreciated. he's seen them get walked all over and he's tired of it. he makes sure to write down the advice and tell someone else what you said just so he doesn't forget

🧼 ⁾ he's just a hyper active golden retriever and your one of his favorite people

🧼 ⁾ you two are fairly close. you keep him calm when he gets over exited by something or he has way too much energy for his own good. it's a bit contagious though you have to admit

🧼 ⁾ he just wants you to feel appreciated, if you couldn't tell already. he is a medic supporter and is probably your biggest fan. he's your own personal cheerleader

🧼 ⁾ when someone insults you he's quick to jump to your defense and yell at them. even if you had something to say he's going to say what he wants first. he isn't going to let you be pushed around. he'll say things like " say that again, I dare you " and " he knows how to kill you, keep that in mind ". most of the time people leave you alone after that. if soap is mad at someone ghost is quick to follow and they don't want to deal with him

🧼 ⁾ he respects you and make sure you know he loves you and you're doing great. especially when you feel down because people aren't the most thankful to medics

John Price

🚬 ⁾ being well.. the dad of the group and their main sniper when he gets hurt its a big deal to the whole team. he shouldn't have even gotten hurt in the first place. that wasn't his job

🚬 ⁾ he doesn't even get a choice whether or not he gets to tell you. gaz and soap drag him into your office to check on him

🚬 ⁾ he tries to tell you that he's okay and won't let you tend to his wounds. he will fight you as nicely as he possibly can become he is convinced he is fine and that no, he doesn't help

🚬 ⁾ when you can finally convince him to just check him over price sighs but lets you help. he tries to tell you that he really doesn't need help but other than that he tells you that he appreciates the help and that you're doing well but he doesn't need your help. he tries to tell you that litterly anyone else could use your help. you have to physically get him to shut up

🚬 ⁾ when you do patch up his wounds they are bad most of the time because he doesn't just let the other person go. no, he has to kick their ass and win which means he gets more hurt than he should have been

🚬 ⁾ you're very gentle with him because if you're not he flinches or makes his pained dad noises ( we all know what I'm talking about... )

🚬 ⁾ he is just trying to convince you he doesn't need help. do I need to say it again? he doesn't need your help

🚬 ⁾ when you finish patching him up he's very thankful and tries to tell you he knows how to take care of his wounds. he does but when you pout at him he will listen. he really does just want to make you happy but at the same time he doesnt want you to waste your time on someone who already knows what he's doing

🚬 ⁾ he see's you like a son. he acts like you're his son too. the amount of times you've accidentally him dad and he's accidentally called you son or " bud " makes you two laugh. you just call him dad now and he acts like your his son and it works for you both because you need a amry dad... who doesn't. he just wants to take care of you

🚬 ⁾ he knows you often drown yourself in your work and he drags you out of that. he tells you that you deserve to have you time and that you need rest. he will physically drag you from your office and make you lay down. he'll make you food and hot coco ( or your favorite hot drink ) and just sit with you. he wants to make sure you're okay. he will be your caretaker if thats what you absolutely need. he's your army dad after all

🚬 ⁾ when you get teased for your job price will walk over and just stand there, an eyebrow raised. he even looks like an angry dad. he will tell them to go away if they don't pick up on the hint of him standing there. if it continues after that he will make them run laps until thry physically drop. he explains that medic's are meant to be appreciated. if anyone thinks otherwise they will also be running

🚬 ⁾ he appreciates what you do for others, but not himself. he doesn't need help

Kyle " Gaz " Garrick

💣 ⁾ the amount of times youve had to treat him for the most random ass wounds is insane. he doesn't even have to say anything for you to know he's accidentally hurt himself by doing dumb things

💣 ⁾ most are burn wounds from him accidentally exploding something. he smiles like an idiot cause he just knows what you'll say. its always something along the lines of : " again? " or " you're not a firefighter, stop acting like one "

💣 ⁾ he always smiles and says " you love me ". you can't help but laugh at him

💣 ⁾ he doesn't mind going to see you. your always so gentle with him and you don't make him talk to you. when he's excited about something you have him talk about it so 1) he stays still and 2) you can listen to his voice when he allows you too. he likes to listen to you too though, he'll always ask questions about the machines or what your doing

💣 ⁾ when he sits still long enough for you to treat his wounds he gives you a general area of where the pain is. its always a scavenger hunt to find where he burned himself this time

💣 ⁾ when its a battle wound he bleeds a lot for some reason. that means you have to work fast and it also works in your favor, you don't have to go hunting for his wound. gaz normally needs to be sedated so he stops moving so much or wincing. you do really feel bad but you don't want him to be hurt more than he already is

💣 ⁾ he tries to stay still for your sake, really! but he just can't seem to sit still. he has to be moving. you normally work around this by giving him something he can mess with while you work on his wounds

💣 ⁾ when you finish he thanks you once and only once before hurrying off to get out of your space. every time you have to fix him up he'll bring you your favorite candy. he'll leave it on your desk with a note that normally says something along the lines of : " I'm so sorry ", " it will happen again ", or " you're becoming my own personal medic ". they're always signed with " -K.G " and a messy heart with your initials in it. its always stuck to the bag of candy. you've kept all his notes in a drawer just to make him feel appreciated. and to tell him that you really do enjoy the notes

💣 ⁾ you two are quite close due to the amount of visits he has to your office. he gets mad and pouts like a toddler when he cant get you as his doctor. he'll pretty much refuse service from any other medic. you're his favorite. he just wants to be close to you. plus, if soap and price trust you and like you so will he. no questions asked. you're also so kind with him. he just thinks your an amazing person all around

💣 ⁾ he thinks of you like a younger / older brother and is very obvious about it. he never really had a brother and you fit what he thinkd a brother is perfectly

💣 ⁾ he's the one that figures out you're over working yourself. he tells everyone else because he's way too scared to get involved and make you mad. he just wants to make sure you're okay. even if its indirectly helping you out

💣 ⁾ when anyone teases you gaz gets involved. no questions asked. he isn't good at being angry when talking so he quickly gets physical. he isn't afraid to start a fight as long as its to help his family. you normally talk him out of it but he still isn't happy. he complains to price about it and makes him do something about it. he isn't going to let you get shoved around for doing the job you wanted. and the job you we're so god damn good at. you were the few medics that actually took their job seriously

💣 ⁾ he appreciates everything you do and voices that. he will always tell you how amazing you are. whether its through notes, words, or gifts. he very obviously loves giving you gifts. just to cheer you up or make you feel loved

Alejandro Vargas

🗡 ⁾ he's a bit of an idiot and gets hurt on everything. he refuses to see you a lot of the time. normally rudy will force him to see you

🗡 ⁾ he's too proud to let you treat him

🗡 ⁾ most of the time you treat him for small cuts that he accidentally did just walking to fast. sometimes you have to treat him for exhaustion because he overworks himself constantly and can't ever seem to pull himself away from his work. you always sigh at him and give him medication and watch him to make sure he drinks water. you also have rudy keep an eye on him for the next week

🗡 ⁾ when its a battle wound you normally get him when he's unconscious anyways. he puts his own injuries to the side to make sure rudy is okay. you always lecture him after about how he actually needs to take care of himself

🗡 ⁾ he always manages to get wounds in the most obscure spots. like, my man, were you trying to get the award of " the most dumbass to ever dumbass "? he always fist fights over actually shooting someone. that makes him end up with bloody knuckles and you always get so mad because theres not a lot you can do about it and you don't want to see him hurting

🗡 ⁾ he make him stay in his own hospital room for a few days after just so you can get it into his head that he needs to take care of himself and do as you ask. if he doesn't listen you make him stay longer. he always calls you mean but he knoes your right

🗡 ⁾ you've gotten him to stay in the hospital longer and rest by asking him to teach you some Spanish. it works like a charm. he gets so involved he forgets he's even resting. you alsi use this trick when your checking and cleaning his wounds. when your rebandaging his wounds he is so focused on your movements so he knows how to wrap wounds

🗡 ⁾ he does thank you. but its through small gifts like new medical supplies, pocket knives, guns, some things that are sweet but are definitely military based

🗡 ⁾ one time he gave you some flowers

🗡 ⁾ your not friends per say but you are close. he's like your uncle, your very annoying uncle. he can really only stand you because your good friends with rudy. or at least thats what he says. he really does want to be your friend, truly, but he's too scared that your mad at him for being such a brat when you treat him. he asks you if you two are actually friends / close or if you only tolerate him because you have to. you say something along the lines of " i could ask you the same ". you teo do become friends over time. after that, you wouldn't trade him for the world

🗡 ⁾ when he finds out your overworking yourself he uses your words against you and treats you just like you had him when he was exhausted and wasn't taking care of himself. it pisses you off but you're happy to know he cares about you

🗡 ⁾ the moment any rude comment twoards you slips out of anyones mouth he is immediately involved. he is normally cussing at them in Spanish while shoving them away from you angrily. he isn't letting you take shit. he knows you deserve better. hes a bit over protective of you. he always says its because you're his nephew and its his job to protect you

🗡 ⁾ he really dows respect and love you. not just as a medic but as a human being in general. your constant kindness and your convincing you attitude is admirable in his eyes

Rodolfo " Rudy " Parra

🔦 ⁾ he's such a sweetie. he's one of the few people that will go into your office without a fight. he doesn't want you worrying. he also makes sure to keep his trips short

🔦 ⁾ he doesn't want you overworking for his sake

🔦 ⁾ most of the injuries you see him for are injuries from battle. he normally doesn't have a lot but they're always pretty bad. you always sigh as he's sent on another mission. he's like your other dad. you don't want him hurt at all. you're always more rough with him. it makes it easied for you to work faster and he has been hurt so many times he doesn't mind the pain

🔦 ⁾ you've had to sadate him multiple times because you know how painful his wounds would be. even if he really doesn't mind the pain

🔦 ⁾ if hes wounded with a wound you wouldn't wish on another human being you're sadating him. no questions asked. you will knock him over the head with a bat if you have to

🔦 ⁾ you usually have him under observation. no matter the wound. you just can't be careful enough. you want to make sure he's actually okay

🔦 ⁾ i mean, rudy gets the most dumb wounds ever that are so painful you even wince when he moves to fast

🔦 ⁾ normally when you do your routine checks or your removing his stitches you talk to him in what Spanish alejandro has been teaching you. he'll laugh about how stupid you sound but will help you out where he can. you're mainly distracting himself from his wounds over distracting him from his wounds

🔦 ⁾ when you finish up or his wounds are healed he thanks you. he'll hug you. if you don't like hugs he'll tell you he's proud of you and he'll bring you food. most times at lunch you don't eat anyways so what the harm in bringing you food, right? he likes to sit with you at lunch anyways

🔦 ⁾ this is also his way of making sure you stop working for a while

🔦 ⁾ you both are really good friends. he's over protective of you and you're always worried about him so it works for you both. his constant need to make sure nobody is messing with you and your constant need yo make sure he's okay and not hurting himself by accident makes you inseparable aside from when you're both working. thats one of the few times you two aren't seen together

🔦 ⁾ he's tried so hard to stop you ftom overworking yourself but it just doesn't seem to work. you always manage to do it anyways. he'll lock your office and take your keys if he has to. you do not need to be constantly working. he doesn't need two alejandro situations on his hands. one is enough

🔦 ⁾ when someone makes a rude comment or teases you or you just seem uncomfortable with someone at all he will get involved. you never know how he even manages to find out. he always does. its a bit scary but its nice to feel loved and protected. and when rudy is protecting you alejandro is also protecting you indirectly. he will make that person run and apologize. then next time they get hurt he makes sure they get one of the meanest medics the base has. he will not let anyone get away with bullying his favorite medic

🔦 ⁾ he respects and appreciates you for what you do and he voices that. you'll always be his favorite ' kid '. he always makes sure you know he loves you. no matter what

This was not proof read! I apologize for spelling / grammer mistakes

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codfanficedits · 5 months

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Christmas - Full version.

Pairing: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x Reader, John Price x Reader, Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader!

Summary: The boys during Christmas :)

Wordcount: 11,304 | Rating: E! (18+ only!)

Warnings: A little bit hinting to NSFW, I think? A lot of fluff :)

A/N: Merry Christmas (:

Kyle:

Kyle and you had been childhood friends, and eventually you moved to lovers, only to be downgraded to friends again, when he moved away to join the army. And those last years have been.. hectic, you joined the army yourself and Kyle had made it very clear he didn’t want to serve with you, so things had been awkward, on paper you were just friends. Kyle would always come back to you, during easter, during spring break, summer vacations, he would always know where to find you, only to never admit his actual feelings towards you. And you had gotten used to it, so much actually that you didn’t bat an eye when he was at your door for Christmas and you had used it to sweet talk him into making a snowman with you.

A frustrated growl leaves his lips as he adjusts his scarf against the cold. Kyle always tried to play that hardened soldier, just like he had been taught. But he may be grumpy, but his heart is in the right place—he'll help you build your snowman.

With is a slight spring in your step as you finally convinced him to build that snowman with you. Your hair sways with every step as you drag him along with you to the open field.

The cold air numbs your face, but you don't care in the slightest. You turn around to face Kyle, your eyes sparkling as you see him. Your hand reaches out to tug on his scarf, making sure it keeps him warm enough. "Can't have you catching a cold." You whispered, before you kissed his nose, with a quick spin you face the open field, ready to build your snowman.

Kyle's jaw stiffens at your playful touch, your kiss sending a shiver down his spine despite the cold. He mutters an irritable retort, but the heat rushing to his cheeks proves otherwise. You make him so soft—so vulnerable and so damn happy.

He shakes his head slightly in annoyance, then turns his gaze ahead. Just focus on the snowman, he thinks to himself. Don't let them see how much you're enjoying this.

Your hands are cold when you has finally rolled enough snow for the lower abdomen, but it’s okay. Simple, soft things like this make you forget about the world, about being a soldier, about pain, and you wouldn't trade it for the world. You can see him watch you, an annoyed look on his face, half of it being tucked away in the scarf. But you know he would've left already if he truly hated it. You tried to lift the ball of snow for the middle section, so you can put it on the lower section. But you aren’t strong enough. So you shoots Kyle a pleading look. "Can you help me, please?"

His heart squeezes at the look in your eyes — how could he say no? And, if he's being totally honest with himself, he likes you being dependent on him for a change.

So he leans down and effortlessly lifts the section of the snowman, putting it on top of the lower abdomen. "There." He says in a firm, quiet tone — which isn't quite as firm as it's supposed to be, given his heart racing and cheeks blooming to pink. He straightens up, avoiding your eyes.

You watch in awe as he effortlessly lifts up the section you couldn't carry. The same spring in your step as you scoop up the snow for the head, packing it until it is big enough. With a lot of effort you manage to put it on top of the other sections yourself. And you take a step back, hands on your hips as you admired your work.

You take a carrot out of your pocket, sticking it in the middle of the snowman’s face to give it a nose. You take two rocks out of your other pocket, to give it two eyes. And finally you take off your scarf, the cold wind hitting your bare neck as you put the scarf around the snowman.

"Done." You exclaimed happily

His gaze remains on the ground as you complete the snowman, his heart thrumming in his ears. But he can feel your eyes on him, and he knows you want to see his reaction.

Finally, he glances up.

The snowman is goofy and imperfect — just like every other snowman. Yet the sight of it melts his heart and makes his mind turn into a fuzzy puddle of admiration for you.

He's too overwhelmed to speak, so he settles for a soft grunt. "He's...he's perfect."

The spring in your step stays as you walks over to him. "A work of art." You chuckled.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Kyle. I owe you one." You said as you looked up at him.

Your hands are freezing and a mischievous twinkle forms in your eyes. "I'm so sorry for what I am about to do." You giggled as you hugged him, your cold hands sliding under his shirt on to his warm back.

“Jezus!”

He stiffens at the touch of your freezing hands, his shirt rippling with goosebumps. Yet, he finds his body moulding to yours, reluctant to let go of this moment — reluctant to let go of this warmth.

There is a fire in his belly as his heart thunders. He wraps his arms around you, burying his face in the nape of your neck; breathing in your scent, feeling your heartbeat against his chest. He hates this. He loves this. He is torn in two.

"I said sorry on forehand!" You defend yourself with a laugh as he buries his face in your neck. It was a cheap trick but you were happy that you did it. Your hands move higher up his back, needing the touch of his warm skin once more.

A groan escapes his lips when your hands move up his back, and his embrace tightens.

"I swear to god. You're gonna kill me." This is torture. But the way you tease him, the way you look at him — it drives him wild.

He hates it.

He loves it.

But he doesn't want to admit it.

A quick kiss on his cheek as you pull your hand away from his body, slipping out from under his shirt. There is a big smile on your face, dimples forming on your cheeks.

"Thank you." You murmured. "Let’s go inside before I have to warm my hands again."

His face is hot, his body buzzing with the aftershock of the rush. He hates feeling so weak, so vulnerable, in your presence. But he follows silently. Reluctantly. He is always reluctant to leave the warmth of your touch.

“Why do I put up with you?" He groans. But his voice is teasing — an admittance of defeat and attraction.

You have his sleeve in your hand, leading the two of you back to the house. "Because I make a good snowman and a killer hot chocolate." You answer his question before you stick out your tongue.

Once you’re inside you take off your jacket before you turn to Kyle, there is a soft smile when you take his scarf off, that same soft smile stays when you slowly pulls down the zipper on his jacket.

He watches you with amusement — his expression softening at your teasing. Yet, his body still tenses when you touch his skin.

His heartbeat quickens when you peel away his jacket, your fingers grazing over his muscular body. He grits his teeth. How is it possible he still feels like a blushing teen?

This is torture, he thinks. I love it.

Your touch is sweet and soft when you help him out of his jacket. You knows he isn't gentle to himself, so you make sure to be it for him. Your hand cups his cheek, your thumb running across the skin as you smile again.

You have to stand on your toes to kiss him, and your kiss is sweet and soft.

A soft chuckle leaves your lips as you pull back and disappeared into the kitchen to make that hot chocolate

A low groan escapes his lips when your soft lips brush against his. His hand reaches out to cradle the back of your head — to pull your body closer, pressing you against the wall.

Yet, as he looks down at you, his muscles go tense and he releases his grip. You deserve better. Someone kinder, sweeter. Not a monster who can't keep his own life in check. Your adorable chuckle fills the room as you scurry away, and the warmth in Kyle's heart is overwhelming.

He wants to kiss you.

And he hates that he wants to kiss you.

You know. You know his internal struggle, the fight he has with himself. How he wants you, but doesn't feel like he deserves you. So you’ve been dancing around each other for years now. He pulls you in, shuts you out. And the same thing repeats itself.

But you can't fight this battle for him. It’s his to do. The only thing You can do is be there for him, and remind him that you are waiting for him.

A soft hum escaped you when you stir the milk on the furnace, patiently waiting until you can add the chocolate

A part of him desperately wants you to win this stupid game. To tear him apart, destroy his walls. But how dare you make him crave it so much?

So, for now, he allows you this game of cat and mouse.

He leans against the wall, his eyes on your back as he takes in the familiar curve of your body. There is nothing he wants more than to pin you up against the wall and bury his lips in your soft, inviting neck.

...maybe just one taste would suffice.

You can feel his burning gaze on you, you knows that look all too well, the love, the longing. Not that he ever acts on it though, no God forbid the great Kyle Garrick would succumb to human urges.

You keeps on stirring the milk, waiting for it to boil, it takes long, you can't put it on a high heat, but you are patient, just like you are patient with him. But who said you can’t have a little fun? Your head tilts to the side, the soft skin exposed, just for him to see.

His jaw stiffens as he takes in the beautiful sight. And damn it all, you know it gets to him. You know how much it drives him wild.

But he wants you to keep going — keep teasing him with soft touches, cute giggles, and that damn seductive skin. He closes his eyes, breathing in your scent like a starving man. What would you taste like? He wonders.

His eyes flicker open and he looks back down at the floor. You're playing dangerous games,

Another soft hum leaves your lips as the milk starts to boil, and you add the chocolate, while you keep stirring. You knows how hard he is struggling behind you, how hard he is fighting to accept the love you both crave so much.

Your gaze shifts to the snowman you had built, and a soft smile tugs around your lips.

He watches with a soft smile as your eyes move to the snowman. He still wants to kiss your neck. I mean, who wouldn't want to kiss someone's neck? Especially someone with such silky-smooth skin.

Oh, you. If only he was strong enough to make his desires come into reality. Then he could finally taste your neck, your lips, your hair...your everything.

What would you taste like?

...he catches himself thinking about the flavour of your lips. Is it bad that he'd really like to find out? But he knows how you taste, he has tasted you before. Yet he seems to have forgotten the taste, desperately craving it again.

It feels as if you are on display with the way he looks at your every move. But he is the only one who you allowed to look at your like that. Any other man would've received a scolding of their lifetime.

You transfer the hot chocolate to two mugs and top it off with some whipped cream.

You turn around to face him, your eyes shifting from the hot chocolate towards him, a silent invite for him to come closer and pick that mug up.

His breath catches in his throat at your silent invitation. He takes one step closer, but no more than that. His body is burning with longing, but he has to show restraint. Otherwise he would lose himself in your eyes, your skin, your lips — and he'd never recover.

He grabs his mug of hot chocolate with trembling fingers as he stares at the steaming liquid. He is not allowed to look up at you. Not allowed to speak. Not allowed to touch you.

He's not allowed anything but to exist.

You watch him, like he had watched you.

Your eyes are on him as you take the first sip of your hot chocolate, and it tastes pretty damn good. A smile as you sees him take a sip, closing his eyes as he savours the taste, a soft chuckle from you as he gets some whipped cream on his nose.

You take the mug from his hands, placing it on the counter, before you use your thumb to wipe away the whipped cream.

It’s your turn to be surprised when he takes your wrist and gently licks the whipped cream of your thumb

A low growl escapes his lips as he licks your thumb — his tongue moving around like it's searching, desperate, needful.

And oh, it reminds him of the taste of your neck, the softness of your mouth. He is utterly addicted to your taste. God.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, resisting the urge to lean in to bite your neck.

"Sorry about that."

The air between you is thick with desire, and the tension is almost tangible.

You had never felt something like that before, and you wanted more. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched him.

"Kyle." You croaked as you gripped the counter to keep your touch on reality. "I'll go fucking insane if you don't kiss me."

His heart is racing from the sheer rush of your words. There is a fire in his gaze as he studies your features.

He wants to kiss you. God, does he want to kiss you.

He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with it.

"You... do you really want me to kiss you?"

The words are harsh, his tone sharp, but he needs to know that you truly want him. Otherwise he could never justify what he's about to do. He can’t dance around you any longer.

You don’t mind the sharp tone. You were used to it by now, your years long dance around each other.

God all you wanted was a kiss, all you wanted was his love. All you wanted was him. With all his flaws, with all quirks, all of him. "Love me." You whispered

His body tenses at your words — a sharp pain piercing his heart.

All he wants is to be loved. But he wasn't taught to let someone in. To be happy. He was never allowed to be weak. But that's all he is now. Weak. For your love, for your kindness, your touch... And he hates being weak.

Your whisper breaks his heart, but he can't deny what he feels. He wants it. He wants you.

"I love you. More than anything."

Your hands reach out for his, pulling him closer to your, so he towers over you.

"I love you too, Kyle." You answered. "I've loved you since the beginning."

"And whatever your mind tells you, you're not weak for loving me."

Those words are like water in the desert for Kyle's parched heart. He takes a deep breath as he gazes into your eyes. He loves you. Even when you're a cheeky little devil, even when you're driving him crazy, even when he thinks he is doomed to a lonely existence.

You're it for him. You. You're it for him.

His body shakes with need. He is going to finally put this years-long dance to an end.

He leans in and kisses your lips with an almost violent passion.

Your hands find their way to his neck, as if you want to keep him there forever.

He had finally given in and you couldn't be happier. But you had to pull back, you had to breathe, but you smile when you see his face.

"I fucking love you, Kyle."

He smiles down at you, his body buzzing as his hands gently cup your face. There is still a hint of restraint — as if he doesn't want to scare your away by being too much, too quick.

But there is no restraining the heat he feels when he looks into your eyes. "I love you."

He kisses you again, the hunger of years finally being sated. This is better than anything he could have imagined.

He holds you tighter, needing you like he needs air to breathe. His very soul is aching. Simon had been wrong. Simon had taught him that love and friendship shouldn’t be in the field manual. But love never felt better.

Simon:

He used to hate the holidays, but by the Gods did that change when he met you. You felt like a gift from the heavens above, slowly introducing him to the warmth that could be, and for the first time since years, did Simon start to love the holidays.

Unfortunately, does the army wait for no one. And right before he was supposed to be home, he got sent on a mission again, leaving him without a way to communicate with you.

Luckely for him, it was a short, easy mission, leaving him with some spare time to buy you something before he got back. He always adored giving you things. A little way of marking you as his, making it known to others that you were off the market.

He was a little too eager when he swung open the door of your house, kicking off his boots almost immediately.

"Hi, lovie," he mumbled exhausted. One of his hands slipped into his pocket, pulling out a small, black box. "Early present for you."

You had not expected him to be home again, you was more worried that he was killed in action, and there he was, exhausted as could be, but alive.

"Oh lovie." You sighed as you hugged him tight, burying your face in the crook of his neck, a content sigh leaving your lips.

You pulled back to look at him, a smile on your face, your hair tickling his arm. You took the little box from him, opening it eagerly.

"Simon!" You had been eyeing this ankle bracelet for a while, and he must've known it. "This must've costed you a fortune!" You exclaimed, seeing it had this initial on it, a little S dangling off it.

He hugged back with a groan, wrapping his arms around your tightly. The love he felt for his person was unmatched by anyone or anything. No matter how hard things got, these rare moments of comfort made his entire being come back to life and feel like things were going to be okay. You made his heart race in ways you'd never know.

"I'm here." He whispered in your ear, a low sigh escaping his lips before he kissed your forehead. He was relieved you wasn't annoyed with his sudden, early return. “It didn’t cost a fortune.” He groaned. “It will look nice when your ankles rest on my shoulders.” He chuckled.

"I'm so glad you are." You murmured softly when he kissed your forehead. "I was so worried something had happened."

You pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Do you want to stay in for Christmas? Or do you want to go to a dinner party or something?" You knew how much he valued his time, so you would gladly give him the choice.

Another low sigh escaped his lips as you kissed his cheek, his tired body leaning into the light affection you gave him. He let his eyes close for a moment but opened them when you asked a question.

He considered the options. "I'm pretty tired, honestly," he mumbled, leaning his head against yours. He wanted nothing more than to simply feel your presence by him.

"Then we're staying at home." You smiled. "I haven't seen you in a few months. And I would rather be with you than anywhere else."

"I can run you a bath, when it is Christmas I'll make some dinner." You mused. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

That was his ideal Christmas holiday. Spend it comfortably with his partner. No parties, no socializing with people you didn't know.

"That's perfect," he mumbled. A bath would feel great right now; his bones felt like they were going to break as soon as he let his guard down. "You can spoil me for the day," he said, his face lighting up now that he knew you’d be staying home.

"You would like that, wouldn't you." You teased him. You gave him a playful slap on his ass. "Let’s get your stinky ass in a bath." You grinned, as you kissed his cheek again.

You walked in front of him, placing the ankle bracelet on your nightstand before you went to the bathroom with him, it was a gorgeous gift, and you loved how he paid attention to what you wanted.

Simon laughed softly when you gave his ass that playful slap, his muscles clenching from the unexpected touch. It might not seem like much to others, but those little acts of affection were everything to him.

He followed behind, his steps slower than usual. Exhaustion weighed down his body, making him feel almost drunk. His muscles ached in the worst way possible. However, the bath was everything he needed to fix that.

"I hate to ask...can you help me wash?" He couldn't help but ask, the weariness showing itself in his voice.

You loved it, and he wouldn't know how happy it was making you, Simon always wanted to care for you, for others.

"Of course, lovie." You said with a smile, as you helped him undress.

You could see how tired he was, exhaustion from being a soldier oozing out of him. He leaned on you, and you knew this was all he needed.

It was almost ironic how he, a man of his physique and stature, was relying on his partner to help him with a simple, everyday task. It was almost funny how he was acting so pitiful; the man who usually carried the team's equipment was now having his clothes stripped from him.

Still, the simple act of you helping him made him feel closer to you and made him feel taken care of. It almost put tears in his eyes, but he was too tired to display such emotion. All he could do was lean against you and simply let you do your thing.

You didn't mind, not at all, you had leaned on him plenty of times, and you loved that you could return the favour.

You rinsed him first under the shower, getting rid of most of the dirt and grime, before you guided him to the bathtub. You let it fill up with warm water, before you leaned in to kiss him, helping him step into the water.

"There ya go."

Simon sighed contently as he felt the warm water against his skin, his muscles no longer hurting quite as badly as they were. The stress and tension just melted away. He let his eyes close again, leaning against you. You were doing him such an act of kindness. He hadn't been this relaxed in so long, the last few months being nothing but an endurance test.

"I could kiss you so many times right now," he mumbled with fatigue, his voice raspy and low from disuse.

"You're too tired to kiss me." You teased him. You took some shampoo, your shampoo, the nice, expensive one, and you lathered it in your hands. You took place behind him, softly massaging his scalp with the shampoo.

"I'm too tired to function right now," he groaned. Still, that didn't stop his body from reacting to your touch. Your hands felt like they were melting away all of the tension in his muscles, the scent of the shampoo being a bonus.

It wasn't long before his eyes closed and his breathing slowed, the last few drops of adrenaline leaving his body as he relaxed completely. It always baffled him how you made things so easy and simple, taking care of him and making his life better than it had ever been.

You used the shower head to rinse out the shampoo from his hair.

After that, you used your bodywash to lather your hands again, softly massaging his shoulders with the soap. Any other day you would’ve joined him, teased him in the bath until he dragged you to the bedroom. But you could see he was too tired, too exhausted and he needed a break.

"I love you." You whispered softly.

Simon let out a relaxing moan when you massaged his shoulders, the tension leaving his body more with each slow touch. He almost couldn't believe he was still on earth. Things were going too perfectly.

"I love you too," he murmured, and that was the truth. It was no longer butterflies in his stomach when he was by your side. Now it was warmth, security, and a sense of overwhelming belongingness.

It had been the same for you. You didn't get butterflies when you saw him, unless he was all dressed up, or bone naked, but he made you feel at home, he made you feel like you belonged in the world.

You work your thumbs into the tired muscles of your lover.

"Nearly done, my love." You murmured softly. "I'll dry you off once we're done."

Your touch felt like a comforting, calming blanket being draped over him. Every ounce of stress and tension was releasing. It was like being back in your arms after a long day, his body getting the much needed attention it deserved. He was already ready to nap once this was over.

"Thank you..." He mumbled, feeling like he should be doing more in this relationship, rather than simply accepting your care and love. Oh but he was doing so much more than he gave himself credit for. He loved you unconditionally and that was the best thing he could do.

You emptied the bath, helping him getting out of the tub, after that you took the fluffiest towel you could find, slowly drying him off.

"Let’s get you to bed, Si."

Simon smiled and closed his eyes again, appreciating how the towel felt against him. It was so soft and warm. Like a hug.

"I'm not being too demanding, am I?" He mumbled softly. The last thing he wanted to do was be a handful to take care of. But with how exhausted he was, it was hard not to melt into the towel and simply relax.

"Demanding?" You repeated. "You're anything but demanding."

A soft kiss is pressed on his chest. "I would do anything for you. This is nothing." You reassured him.

You took his hand, guiding him and his naked body to your bedroom.

You took off your jeans and socks before you got into bed yourself, and before you could say or do anything he was between your legs, his arms around your waist, his head resting on your lap.

Simon's mind went fuzzy at your reassurance and affection. Was he really this loved? Could he have done anything worthy of such unwavering devotion?

He was the one who should have been doing more for you, not the other way around. Yet you still took care of him, took care of everything. Even when he was acting so pitiful and incapable of doing the simplest tasks.

His body reacted appropriately to your warmth; his arms wrapped around your, his muscles tightening as he clung to you.

You took your book from the nightstand, running your free hand through his hair as you let out a content sigh. He was home, and that was all you could ask for.

“What are you reading?” Simon muttered softly, while he tried to keep his eyes open. “Haunting Adeline, it is quite good.”

Simon perks up. “Are you out of your mi-“ He chuckles when he sees a different cover and he let’s himself sink into your lap again. “I nearly went off on you, you idiot.” He scolded you, lovingly of course.

“How do you even know it?” You muse, your hand running through his hair again.

Simon closes his eyes once more. “Soap bought it to impress a woman he had been dating. The idiot read it out loud to us, before we would go to sleep. He tossed it out really quick when we realised it was glorifying sexual assault and Zade was nothing more than a rapist.”

“Soap did good with that one.” You chuckle. “Tried to read it, had to put it down because I was so disturbed.”

“Hmm.” Simon mumbles as he feels the sleep wash over him. “Tonight I want you to read for me.”

"Merry early Christmas, lovie." You whispered, not sure if he would hear you. "Couldn't wish for a better gift."

The heat of your body was so blissful. The comfort that came from just lying with you was unlike any other experience Simon had ever had. When you were close like this, in a bed, he had no urge to protect his surroundings. He was at ease, his heart beating slower from the sheer joy he felt.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered back, drifting into the most restful sleep he's had in months.

John:

You don’t really know how it had happened, but it just happened. Instead of two eggs, you used four, you know, so then the carton would be empty, John would be bringing home new eggs anyway. And all you had to do was add double flour, extra butter, and a whole lot of chocolate chips, and somehow you ended up with sixty-six cookies. Well, sixty-five, since you had to taste one. You triple check the recipe you used, and sure, after you’ve read the author’s life story, it says clearly that is a recipe for just fifteen cookies, and you’re still not sure how you ended up with sixty-five after doubling your ingredients.

You look at your countertops, it’s filled with baking sheets full of cookies. Which wouldn’t be such a hassle, if the cookies would be the only thing you had baked. On your right are countertops filled with chocolate cupcakes, topped off with a buttercream of vanilla and some chopped up walnuts, and to your left there were blueberry muffins with a cream cheese drizzle. Your eyes shift to the clock, knowing that John will be home soon, and you let out a sigh. Who would let a stressed out person who likes to bake loose in a kitchen anyway?

Your hand reaches for your phone and you look up the number for the homeless shelter not too far away. You and John had donated to them a few times before, and what would be a better use for all these sweets that you had baked?

The lady who answers the phone is a little weary at first, and you can’t blame her, how many people treat the homeless shelter as their personal dumpster, dropping off spoiled food, dropping off food laced with who knows what. She asks you to identify yourself when you drop the goods, and you have to sign a weaver. It all sounds fair to you. Just as you end the call, you can hear the front door slam close.

John

With a loud groan he enters the kitchen, his eyes lighting up when he sees all those bakes goods. Was that the reason your shopping list was so long?

"Sweet baby Jezus." He complains, setting the heavy bags down on the counter. “Is this just for me?” He teases as he reaches out to the cookies. “Hey!” He protests when you swat his hand away. His joyful attitude wiped away the peace and quiet you had yourself surrounded in.

Your eyes flickered between the cookies, and the cupcakes you had been baking. "Maybe I did go a little overboard." You giggled. "A little?" he chuckles as he catches sight of the mountain of baked goods. All of that looks like it had to have taken you ages to make! He has to wonder who could eat that many sweets. Maybe he could help you get rid of them.

His arms snake around your waist and he presses a kiss on your forehead. “What’s on your mind, love?” Your shoulders slump at his question. “Just a little stress.” You mumble at his question. John doesn’t buy it. “You’ve been baking enough to feed a whole army, something is bothering you.”

“Just a little nervous to see my mom again.” You mutter eventually, there would be no use in hiding this from him anyway. John chuckled softly at your words. “Is she nagging about grandkids again?”

“Mhm, while calling me fat in the same conversation.”

He kisses your forehead again, his lips lingering against your skin. “We’re not going.” You want to look up at him, but he keeps your face in place with his kiss. “What?” “I refuse to let you ruin your own Christmas because your mother can’t shut up. We’ve told her countless times that our decision on children is not up to her to intervene with.”

“Yeah but what if…” Your voice trails off, you know your mother wouldn’t take lightly to this news.

“I can talk to her.” John muses, as he looks at you. “You are the love of my life, I’ll be damned if I let your mother make you miserable, just because she refuses to go to therapy.”

You gave him a quick peck on his lips. "Thank you lovie." The idea of not seeing your mother for Christmas gave you some room to breathe, maybe a year without judgement would do you good.

His hands go to your waist again, squeezing you softly as he pulls you in closer. "You're welcome, love," he whispers softly. "You look really beautiful. More so than usual."

Your arms go around his neck, and you kiss him softly, a smile on his face when he looks at the baked goods again.

"I want to drop a few off at the homeless shelter." You whisper against his lips. "Want to help me?" You ask him. "I'll let you eat a cupcake first."

"If I do help, am I allowed to sample one of your cupcakes beforehand?" he asks, a playful, mischievous glint in his eyes. While he jokes, he knows those cupcakes of you are to die for. Even having one before helping you deliver the rest would be enough to make this a grand day.

"Please? Just one?"

"How can I say no to you?" You chuckled softly. "I have chocolate ones, with a buttercream of vanilla and walnuts. Or blueberry with a cream cheese drizzle." You mentioned.

"Which one would you like, love?" You asked him, turning around to the cupcakes. He is completely torn over which one to choose, and the more he debates it, the harder it is for him to pick. "Do I pick the chocolate? Or the blueberry? Hmmmmmm..."

He glances back at you, unable to hide the adoration in his eyes. "You know what? I like surprises. Surprise me." And to really make you work for it, he kisses you again, stealing one last taste before it's time to choose.

Your eyes light up and you grin. "Close your eyes!" You order him. He closes his eyes as you say, eager to see if he can guess which is which without seeing.

You take a chocolate cupcake, the blueberry cupcake and your cinnamon sugar cookie.

You smile as he closes his eyes, and you can't help but kiss him. You place a small piece of the blueberry cupcake in his mouth. "Guess which one this is."

Once it's in his mouth, it's clear that it is most definitely the blueberry cupcake. There's no mistaking that flavour of blueberry and cream cheese.

"Blueberry," he answers confidently. And he opens his eyes to see you grinning triumphantly.

"Correct." You chuckled, before you placed a piece of her cinnamon sugar cookie between his lips. "Guess again!" You giggled before you pressed a kiss on his jawline. "If you guess all three right." You whispered in his ear. "I'll go on top tonight."

"Cinnamon sugar? It has to be that delicious cookie. But if I'm wrong, then I'll never hear the end of it." And he takes a bite, revelling at the sweetness of the dough. "This is absolutely incredible," he smiles.

At what you mention next, his eyes snap wide open. Not even a millisecond of hesitation passes by before an excited "YES!" crosses his lips. "Okay, the next one has to be chocolate. There's no way that's anything but chocolate."

You laugh at his enthusiasm. "There is only one flavour left and that is chocolate.” You chuckle, as you feed him the piece of chocolate cupcake. “So it seems I’ll put in the work tonight.”

"Let’s drop off these cookies and cupcakes at the homeless shelter. And when we get home, I'll show you why I should be on the nice list." You added with a soft chuckle.

"I can't wait," he whispers, leaning in for another kiss. "But first, I'll be a good boy for you."

"And I really can't emphasize how much I love you for making all of these for that shelter," he chuckles. "They deserve the best Christmas possible. And these, I can assure you, are the best." He gives you an affectionate squeeze, before grabbing your hand to head towards the door together.

"Being with you has made me realize how lucky I truly am." You smiled. "And I hope these cupcakes bring a little bit of hope to other too." You added, as you brought the cupcakes and cookies to the car. You took place in the passenger seat. "Drive carefully please." You pleaded.

"Yeah, lucky is definitely the word to describe it," he teases with a smirk. "I think it'll do more than that," he replies. He knows how big of an impact your delicious baking has had on him, and he has no doubt it will be equally as meaningful to them.

At your concern, he nods. "You know I'm not some speed racer, love," he chuckles, turning the car on and beginning your trip.

You pressed a kiss on his cheek before you puts your seatbelt on. "You're a delight." You chuckled softly. "I am so happy you were granted leave for the holidays, John."

"It has been a while since we celebrated Christmas together, and I'm looking forward to it." You add quietly.

The kiss warms his cheek, the sensation of your lips on him bringing an easy smile to his face. "You know I've missed you desperately, love," he whispers back, his attention turned to the road in front of him. "I've been counting the seconds until I had you back in my arms again. You'll never know how much I look forward to being with you on Christmas."

The smile on his face grows as the two of you ride along together. There's something heartwarming and magical about spending the season with the one you truly love.

Of course you had missed him too, more than he would ever know.

You get excited when you arrive at the shelter, and you get out of car, making sure to get to the person who you talked to on the phone. You bring them the cupcakes and cookies before, showing them your ID and signing the weaver. It doesn’t need to be bombastic, you don’t need the praise, you just want to do a little something for others.

"Let’s get back to home, love." You said, as you got in to the car again, before you pressed a kiss on his lips.

Seeing you get excited is always endearing. The way your eyes light up with joy never fails to captivate him. And your eagerness to help those in need is one of the many qualities he loves about you. He wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a comforting squeeze.

"Yes, yes. Let's go home. I can't wait to snuggle up with you again," he says with a smile. And he begins to drive home—where you both belong, where this Christmas season is meant to be spent.

You had missed him, you knew what you got yourself in to when you married a soldier, but it was hard at times. Having him home for Christmas really was a delight.

"I have a good Christmas present for you this year." You hummed content. "I'm really sure you'll like it." You watch the Christmas decorations when you pass the houses in the neighbourhood, and you adore it.

His curiosity is piqued. "I'll like it, you say?" he asks with a wry smile. "Why do I get the feeling you enjoy watching me squirm in anticipation?"

He doesn't mind the torture. In fact, he loves it. It makes the big reveal that much more special. "I have something for you, too, love," he says in turn. "I put quite a bit of thought into it." He winks as he turns the corner, heading towards the driveway.

Oh you love this, the anticipation, the giddy feeling it gives you. It had taken you a while, but you had managed to order his favourite cigars from Cuba. You had to keep it for yourself for so long now, and it made you feel like you could explode any moment.

"Come on!" You urged him as he parked the car. "I know it’s not Boxing Day yet, but i really want to give you your present."

He chuckles at the thought of your excitement.

"Alright, alright, you've won. We don't need to wait another day." With that, he helps you get out of the car. And now you both stand before the front door.

"Okay, love, you would need to wait a little more, I will have the stage first.” He smiles.

He is gentle as he drags you towards the tree. He had a whole day planned for this, but he can't wait any longer. So John goes down on one knee, holding your hand, a black velvet box in his other hand. "Would you do me the honour to renew our vows?"

The question catches you off guard, almost like a swift punch to the gut. Your mind, in the heat of the moment, flashes back through all the time you’ve spent together—all the beautiful memories you've made.

"John," you says softly, wrapping your arms around you in an embrace. "Of course I will."

With the words spoken, there's nothing he wants more than to feel your warm, loving embrace. You could be married a thousand more times, and it would never get old.

“I love you so much, and the time we have to spend apart only makes me realize it more." John whispered in to your ear. "And every day that's spent away from you is nothing but torture. I'm just glad I get to have you back this Christmas. I look forward to tonight and to the coming year."

Johnny:

He had planned it ahead, mustering up a little plan, a little prank. You had always said that you loved his playful nature. So he gathered up Price, Ghost and Gaz, dragging them along in his plan, so when you would reach out to them, they would all confirm his story.

Just the idea made him all giddy from the inside. Johnny could hardly contain himself when he finally called you, his fingers hovering over to text on the screen, your name, next to a little red heart. He almost caught himself giggling when he started to ring you, once, twice, a sudden nervous feeling, worried that you wouldn’t pick up.

But you always did, you always sprinted to your phone the moment you heard it vibrate, you would never miss the opportunity to have a conversation with him.

“Johnny!” The excitement in your voice made him smile, you picked up exactly how he had expected you to. He could already imagine you, hurrying to the couch, making yourself comfortable in the corner, grabbing the little fleece blanket to bury yourself under.

“Hiya love.” He answered, trying to keep his voice steady. But you weren’t born yesterday, you had trained yourself to pick up the littlest of verbal cues.

“Johnny? Is everything alright?” You were indeed sitting on the couch, tucked away in the corner, alone in your little bubble with him, separated, yet together. You had heard the stories, soldiers calling their partner to say a final goodbye, knowing they wouldn’t come home. Your breathing starts to quicken and you find yourself closing your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds around him, but you find it to be eerily quiet.

Johnny had to mute his phone for a second, holding back a little chuckle, it was all going according to plan. “Am fine, love, ‘m fine.” He tried to reassure you. “But I do have bad news.”

Those words were enough to make your blood run cold, to make it seem like the world had stopped spinning. You had wondered at night if being in a relationship with a soldier was something you were cut out for. Being alone most of the time, sometimes hearing nothing from him at all, for weeks at the time, being worried all the time whether or not he would make it out alive, it was slowly eating you from the inside. So you had been ecstatic when he told you he had Christmas off, the two of you had been invited to dinner parties, regular parties, to your family, to your friends, they all wanted to see him again, they wanted to see you shine again, but the feeling in your gut was telling you that would all be ripped away from you, again. Four more days until it would be Christmas eve, and he was supposed to come home tomorrow. You find the courage to swallow the lump in your throat. “What’s the bad news, Johnny?”

On the other side of the world was Johnny fucking MacTavish, a shit eating grin on his face as he looked at the ticket in his hand. “Afraid I can’t make it for Christmas, love.” And he had to pinch his thigh to make his voice sound strained. “I know you’ve been looking forward to it, but they need me here.”

You want to scream, to cry, to yell at him that you need him too, that you need him more than the army does. But you don’t, you stay silent, letting his words linger in the air of the room. You would be alone for Christmas, again.

“Love, are you alright?” Johnny had expected something from you, anything, anger, disappointment, sadness, just not silence.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Your voice is a soft murmur, barely being heard. You’re the one who disconnects the call first, your lips pressed against the screen of your phone. Your screen immediately lights up again. His name and picture showing up, as if the universe is mocking you for your decision. But you’re tired and you can’t take it anymore.

The moment the screen dies down again, it doesn’t take another second for it to light up immediately again, and again, and again.

And on the other side of the world, is Johnny, frantically pacing around, this was not supposed to happen. It was supposed to go like the movies. You had to be a little pouty for the next day, and he would be on your doorstep. You would hug him, and all would be well.

But looking at his phone going to voicemail time after time, made him sick to his stomach. He had never thought losing you would even be an option in all this. After six times of trying to call you, he finally puts down his phone. Unsure of what he had to do now, of what he could do now.

He runs a hand through his mohawk. Fuck, oh fuck. The realisation of having fucked up this bad, hitting him once again. So he goes to the one person he would trust most with this, with you. His knuckles colliding with the door of his office, Johnny didn’t even wait for approval to come in.

“Captain. I fucked up.” The words left his lips before he could even close the door behind him. Price raised an eyebrow in return. “What happened?”

“I did my thing, called, said that I wouldn’t be able to come home, and I got broken up with.” The words leave Johnny’s lips, but he is having trouble believing them himself. “Well.” Price let out a quiet chuckle. “We did warn you this would happen, didn’t we?” Johnny’s face turns into a sour expression, he had been warned, by all his teammates, but that didn’t stop him from thinking it was an amazing idea anyway. “Well, yes.” Johnny grumbled. “Can you help me solve this mess?”

How could Price not? He had always been fond of you, you brought out the best in Johnny, and that was a quality not a lot of people possessed. “Listen closely.” Price warned him, placing his cigar in his ashtray. “You’re still going home and I need you to buy a large bouquet of roses.”

“Which colour?”

Price frowned, first of all, he did not liked to be interrupted, and secondly, was this man an idiot? “Red of course, the colour of love.” Price sighed. “And if you’re lucky enough to be let in, you’re going in for a hug, and don’t let go until you’re forgiven. Unless you’re puyoud away and asked to leave, gotta respect those boundaries.”

Okay, okay, Johnny could do that. He grumbled a low thanks, before he turned around on his heels and left the office again.

You let out an annoyed groan when a loud knock startled you, it was cold, it had been snowing, and you had been in the worst mood possible. After breaking up with Johnny you had cancelled all your plans, all the invites, you just wanted to be left alone. Another groan left your lips when the person standing at the door knocked again.

His eyes remain fixed on the front door, recalling the broken promise and sorrowful words he spoke to you over the phone a few days ago. He knocks twice on the door, wishing nothing more than to be welcomed home with the warmth of your embrace. With an annoyed look on your face you swung open your door. Your eyes widening when you saw your lover, he had made it home for Christmas.

"Johnny!" All the annoyance melted away from you when you wrapped your arms around him. Seeing him again, it made all your anger fade away, the disappointment, the sadness, everything seemed to glide off you when you saw him again, the feeling of dread being replaced with butterflies.

Johnny pulls you into a tight embrace, nuzzling his head into your shoulder while squeezing with all his might. A deep sigh escapes his lips as his eyelids flutter shut, savouring the moment of your soft embrace.

"Surprise," he mumbles, squeezing tighter and pulling his love closer. He nuzzles further into your neck, his nose buried in the crook of your shoulder. You can feel the rumble of his heart racing, his body shaking in the cold. His breath against your skin sends shivers down your spine.

You don’t want to let go, worried that it isn't real, that he isn't real. But you feel the rough fabric beneath your fingertips, you can feel his skin, his stubble.

His face gets peppered with soft little kisses. "You're really back," you murmured softly. You pulled him inside the hallway, closing the door behind him.

He feels your lips on his skin, pressing soft kisses over his face, his neck, his shoulders. Johnny's hand gently massages your back as you walk back inside the hallway.

Your love is deep, intense, and overwhelming, but you never fails to make him feel at ease. Like the cold snow falling outside has thawed him out. Like her heart is a beacon in a stormy night. Johnny holds you by your waist, nuzzling his face near your ear, whispering, "Just for the holidays, sweetheart. Then I have to go back."

"I know." You sighed softly. "But I don't want to think about that just yet." You watch as he takes off his coat and you takes over the flowers. "They're beautiful." You tell him with a smile.

"I'll put them in a vase." You said as you walked towards the kitchen.

Johnny follows right behind you, his thoughts occupied by your presence, your warmth, your sweet words. When the two of you enter the kitchen he watches you fill up the vase with water and cut the stems of the flowers. A content smile crosses your face as you you’re your time with the task.

Johnny leans on the counter next to you, his thoughts drifting to your radiant smile and your captivating eyes. A warm feeling fills his chest and he pulls you closer, embracing you tightly, burying his face in your hair.

Just having him there is enough. You adores how he waits patiently until you’re done tending to the flowers. You smile as he pulls you closer. "I've missed ya." You murmured softly.

"I got really pissed when you said you couldn't come." You say. “And I’m sorry for breaking up with you on the spot, but it really, really felt like the final straw.”

"Love, I'm sorry," Johnny whispers into your ear, his hand rubbing you back. "I shouldn't have said those things, I wanted to pull a little joke and I didn’t think about any of the consequences. I miss you... all the time."

He kisses your cheek gently. "You're the light of my life. You're the heart that keeps me going. I cannot imagine this world without you." Johnny's eyes are filled with love as he looks into your eyes. He takes your hand and places it near his heart.

You smile again when he placed your hand near his heart. It is not like you can stay mad at him anyway. You gave him a quick peck on his lips. "Out of spite I cancelled all my plans." You admitted with a sheepish smile. "So it’s just going to be the two of us for the holidays."

"Perfect," Johnny replies with a cheeky grin, his hand running through your hair and brushing the loose strands from your face. John's eyes sparkle when he looks at you, the smile playing on his lips. "Is this spite, or just a sweet way for you to have me all to yourself?" he jokes. "I love being with you. I love waking up next to you, coming back to you, holding you."

John takes both your hands and pulls you closer to him, planting soft kisses all over your face.

"Maybe both, maybe neither." You chuckled softly as you let him kiss you. "Thank you for coming back." You whispered against his lips. "Maybe we can stay in tonight, watch a movie, or two?"

Johnny's heart soars at your reply, you melt him with your every word. He presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment and savouring the feeling of your lips lingering on his. "Of course, sweetheart. We can do anything you wish. I'm all yours."

With his thumbs Johnny caresses your cheeks, tilting your face towards his. He stares deeply into your eyes, his lips gently brushing against yours, a tender kiss that makes his heart beat faster.

Oh his sweet words, his sweet gestures, they're enough to make you putty in his hands. "Can we watch The Grinch?" You asks him, your hands finding their way to his waist.

"Pretty please?"

"I'll even put up with the Grinch for you, sweetheart." Johnny replies, his tone playful and his eyes gleaming with love. "We can watch The Grinch, Home Alone, A Christmas Story... anything you want. As long as I get to spend time with you."

Johnny slides his hands down along your waist, his thumbs rubbing gently against your skin.

He leans in to whisper in your ear. "As long as I get to hear you whisper 'pretty please', I'm happy."

You could see it in his eyes. The moment you asked him 'pretty please.' He was a goner, and you loved having your man swoon over you.

"I didn't expect you to be home." You said. "So I didn't bother with fancy dinners or anything." You admitted with a sheepish smile.

"I have some frozen pizza and some leftover Chinese and that is about it."

"Pizza? Chinese food? Are you kidding? Love, you just described the best holiday meal." Johnny replies with a laugh.

"In fact, I was about to suggest we get a pizza or something. It's been a long day and I'm starving."

Johnny takes your hand and gently pulls you closer. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's eat before we watch our favourite movie. You can lean on me while we watch, get all cozy and warm. I have a feeling you'll fall asleep in my arm."

You sticks out your tongue to him. "I will not fall asleep in your arms." You protested, knowing full well it would probably happen.

"I'll put the pizza in the oven." You said, placing your hand on his neck. "Can you get the blankets from the bedroom?"

You smiled at him. "I want to get all cozy."

A mischievous smile crosses Johnny's face when he looks at you, your hand resting on his neck. "You... you know I can't say no to you," he murmurs. He plants a kiss on your forehead and heads into the bedroom, grabbing the softest blanket in the house.

"It's the perfect night for cuddles." he says to himself as he rushes back into the kitchen, a content sigh escaping his lips. Johnny wraps the soft blanket over your shoulders, rubbing your shoulders gently as you place the pizza in the oven.

You knew Johnny had always been one for physical contact and you adored him for it. You let him massage your shoulders as you set the timer for the pizza. "We have around fifteen minutes." You said, turning around to face him. "How has deployment been, love?"

Johnny slides his hands down your arms, stopping at your elbows where he rubs gentle circles into your skin.

When you turn around he studies your face, a content smile on his lips. He breathes in deeply, savouring your scent.

"Honestly, deployment has been rough. Tough days, tough missions. Not an easy job, being so far away from you... it breaks my heart." Johnny's voice is filled with an overwhelming sense of love and appreciation for you. Your soft smile is contagious and fills his heart with joy, despite all the struggles.

You press a soft kiss on his cheek, picking up on the subtle hints that he doesn't wish to talk about it.

"Since you've been gone, the next door neighbours have gotten a new dog." You said, switching the subject to something lighter. "It’s a cute little thing."

Johnny wraps his arms around you, placing your head on his shoulder. The stress of his recent assignments starts to melt away as he feels your soft hair on his neck and the faint scent of your body wash lingering in the air.

"A cute little thing? So it's just like you? " Johnny jokes. "Was it a good boy or a good girl?"

Johnny's smile is genuine and his tone is playful as he looks at you, his fingers gently moving across your hair in an absent-minded gesture.

You know what he is doing, using the subtle weight of your head to keep him in the present, to prevent the flashbacks, and you were more than happy to help.

"It’s a puppy, of course it’s a cute little thing." You chuckled. "It’s a good girl, her name is Macy and she is a German Shepherd." You said, describing your neighbour’s dog.

"I have already offered to watch her if they ever go away for a holiday or something."

"Macy. What a cute name for a shepherd." Johnny replies with a soft smile.

He's genuinely interested in the conversation, but his eyes wander to your soft complexion. Your skin seems to glow in the light, every pore on your face radiates beauty and innocence.

"I'm just afraid Macy might just adopt me and steal my heart away from you." He teases you.

"Come on, we got a pizza and a movie to enjoy. Then it's time to show a soldier like me what it means to become a Christmas couch potato."

You laughs softly at his impatience, the timer for the pizza had still a minute left. Johnny gets another peck on his cheek from you.

"Be a doll for me and light some candles in the living room for me." You mused as you handed him the blanket that he had draped over your shoulders.

"I'll be with you once the pizza is done."

Johnny nods and heads into the living room, putting the blanket onto the sofa and placing a few candles on the coffee table. He lights the candles with a match.

Johnny sits on the sofa, patting the plushy cushions and waiting for you. He pulls you close after a few moments, laying against your shoulder.

"Come on, sweetheart. No more waiting. Food!" he says with an overexcited tone. "I'm starving."

"Oh you're so impatient for a soldier!" You scold him playfully. You put on the movie, running one hand through his hair, a slice of pizza in your other hand. "Merry Christmas, love." You whispered softly.

Your scolding doesn't stop Johnny from taking a slice of pizza from your hand and taking a big bite out of it. He savours the flavours as he watches you put the movie on the TV.

"Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart," he replies, his voice full of appreciation and warmth. Johnny wraps his arm around you and takes a few more bites of his pizza, while enjoying his time with his partner.

He can never quite get rid of the sensation of danger and stress, but as long as he's with you... he feels safe.

"My pizza!" You tried to protest when he takes your slice, but how can you scold him when he looks so innocent? "You're lucky I love you." You tried to grumble, but you ends up laughing instead. You take a bite of your pizza. "I've missed this."

"Mine!" he replies playfully, quickly taking another bite out of your slice and chewing as loudly as he can. Johnny's voice takes on a more serious tone as he turns to you. "You're my life. I've missed you more than you can ever imagine. Seeing you again, smelling you, hearing your voice again... that is heaven." Johnny takes a deep breath, his eyes locked on your beautiful face.

"You're the best Christmas gift I could've ever asked for, sweetheart."

"I haven't seen you in months and you just have to tease me." You complained, but it was hard to stay serious when you kept smiling.

You pressed a kiss on his hair. "Having you home is the best Christmas present I could have, my love."

"You, some pizza, the Grinch. I couldn't ask for more." You add with a smile. Johnny smiles back at you, a warm glow radiating from his face.

"Don't forget the blankets. They're an essential part of the experience. Plus, those cuddles I mentioned." Johnny jokes.

"All these months away from you have been so, so painful, my love. But now I'm home and nothing can take me away from you again."

He brushes your hair out of your face and places his hand on your chin. "We're going to do a marathon of all our favourite movies. And eat all the pizza we want."

"Oh I'm sorry for forgetting those essential parts." You teased him playfully, right before you kiss the thumb close to your lips. "That sounds like an amazing plan."

"You better not be forgetting them again." Johnny teases back, but his eyes soften.

His lips find yours and he kisses you softly, his hands gently caressing your hips and drawing you closer. A soft groan escapes his lips and he pulls back for a moment.

"Sorry, sweetheart. You just look too attractive to ignore," he whispers in a husky tone.

Johnny smiles, rubbing your cheek and caressing your back. "I want more cuddles. Let's watch that movie."

You lets out a soft laugh, the movie had been playing for a while now, but his attention has been on you. You places your head on his shoulder, snuggling against him. "You'll get all the cuddles you want."

Johnny smiles, wrapping the blankets around the two of them and hugging you closer against his chest. He leans back and puts his hands around your waist, enjoying the feeling of your warmth against his body.

He looks at the movie on the screen for a few moments and kisses you’re on the top of your head. "I'm sorry, my love. Are you paying attention to anything other than me?” He teases you and nuzzles your head, but looks back at the screen. He's seen the movie a million times but loves watching it again and again with you.

"Are you being jealous?" You teased him, as your eyes shifted from the movie to his face. A soft kiss is placed on his lips. "You're absolutely divine, Johnny." You sighed. "I'm glad you're home."

Johnny glances at you with a teasing smile and a sparkle in his eyes. "Jealous of your attention? Me? I may or may not be."

He shifts himself a little, so he's laying down completely. "Come here, sweetheart. I want to shower you with kisses."

Johnny's eyes flicker with a hint of mischief as he draws you in closer. "I'm glad I'm home too. Being away from you breaks me, sweetheart."

You had to lay on his chest, it would be cruel not to. You kisses his jawline, your kisses trailing up to his ear, your hands going to his chest. "I love you."

Johnny's face is flush and his breath is a little unsteady as you kissed him on his throat and jaw, nuzzled against his chest now.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he says. "You're my everything."

He presses his lips against your forehead and plants soft kisses all over your hair

"I just want to love you, forever."

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obsessedgayass · 1 month

Text

[🪖] Doing it all for love

Pairing: Yandere dilf army general x framed male!reader

Synopsis: you were framed for selling information to the enemies, happily, your general always believed in your Innocence, because he knew damn well who framed you, and he also knew why.

Warnings: dilf, huge age gap, daddy kink, manipulation, yandere behavior, obsession, betrayal, mentions of death, mentions of torture, aftermath of torture, bad friends, saying no to forgiveness, gay sex, scars, wounds, nsfw, legal trouble, cutting people off, tickling, slightly fetishization of masculinity, use of the word “boy” in a sexual way, using weigh for sex, smell fetish ig? happy ending.

Attention: This is a work of fiction! I'm not saying what happens here is right or moral! Most things here probably won't happen in real life!

———————

(I don't know too much about the American army, so I'm using the hierarchy from the Brazilian army)

(English isn't my first language, so if I make any grammatical mistakes, please feel free to correct me!)

(really inspired by @obsessivevoidkitten story I saw some time ago!)

———————

The room was dark and had blood stains, and it was your own blood there, the blood which your “friends” didn't even care to clean, after all, you were a “traitor”.

You don't know how much time has passed, but it all started when your superior called you in to one room, where all your friends and colleagues were there, and he said in clear voice that you was a traitor, and showed proofs, some documents who supposed proved you was giving informations to some terrorist organizations, and when you realized, you was beaten up and dragged to a torture room, where you was tortured for days, and after this they just let you there, rooting.

You should know joining the army was a bad idea, you never actually wanted to be a soldier and fight for the country or some shit, all you wanted was to honor the memory of your dead father, he had died in the army after a terrorist attack, and to think they thought you would betray they for some terrorists…

Suddenly, you heard the sound of the metal door opening, they were back? The was going to torture you again? You didn't know what to expect, but then, you heard a gentle and worried voice.

– oh god… what did they do to you, son? – said the gentle voice looking horrified, and you recognized it immediately, it was General Adam.

General Adam was your general, the superior of your superior, he was a tall tan man, older, but with a muscular body and a pretty yet rugged face, and a mustache you always thought how ticklish would feel if you kissed him.

He had always been nice towards you, a little too nice to be honest, but you really looked up to him, you felt protected towards him, and that's all you wanted now, you wanted to feel protected, to feel safe.

General Adam approached you and looked like he was trying to find a way to hold you without touching your still open wounds, to not hurt you more.

– I'm taking you out of here, son. – said Adam determined, he slowly picked you up, trying to not touch your wounds – after this, I swear I'm going to kick your superior’s ass…

Adam walked with you to the infirmary, and passing through some corridors, you could see some of your so-called friends and colleagues, they all couldn't even look at you, they looked… ashamed?

– they all know you're innocent, son, it's over, you can rest now… – Adam whispered gently in your ear.

Knowing everyone now know you're innocent made you feel better, like when you come back from a hard day of work and can just sleep, and just like this, you let yourself sleep on Adam’s strong arms, knowing now you were safe.

— Years later —

You couldn't help but think how much time has passed, and how so much had happened, now you feel so happy, you couldn't believe how much your life had changed since the day you were framed.

You and Adam made a lawsuit against everyone who hurt you, he stayed with you during all the process, and since he was a general, he had lots of money and could easily pay for a lawyer, and you won!

Your superior and the other soldiers who tortured you were sent to prison, your superior was freed sooner because since he was in the army, he had some benefits, but in any way, he was forced to retire from the military, and it was very improbable he would get another job being superior to someone.

Your old friends and colleagues tried to apologize, but they were trying to downplay their actions, so you didn't forgive them and cut them off for good.

Oh, and the best part, you and Adam are now married! Yes, you heard it right, you two now are husband's.

Well, yes, it was a little strange for people, principally your mom, that you was marrying a man who was much older than you and who was your superior in the past, it smelled like red flag to her, but in the end, she accepted him as her son-in-law and now they have a great relationship.

You honestly couldn't be happier, Adam always makes you feel so safe, so loved, so… good.

And talking about feeling good, you were feeling really good right now, because Adam was rimming you intensely, his tongue and fingers are so skilled, the years of practice before meeting you must have been worthy.

His mustache was tickling the area between your cock and ass, giving a mix of sensations. You just wanted to open yourself more, you wanted him to be deep inside you.

Adam lifted his body, positioning your legs above his shoulders, you admired his body, he was so big, so tall, he has broad shoulders and these manly hairy pecs you feel the urge to bury your face on, his body is hairy and manly, he was truly a man.

His 10 inch cock was hard and throbbing, and he was panting, like an animal in heat, and this turned you on so much, and he looked so needy now, the idea of having such a man needing you made your cock squirt a little.

– fuck… you're so damn hot, boy – panted Adam stroking himself a little – you grew up so fine, I still remember how you was a scrawny boy back then, but look at you now, teasing me just by standing still and looking pretty…

Adam slowly inserted his cock inside you, making you arch your back to try to accommodate his size better. It wasn't your first time with him, but your ass hole always needed to get accustomed again.

But like always, Adam started slowly, just savoring the feeling of his big cock inside your tight hole, but soon, you felt like begging for more, it was so damn slow now, it was torturing at this point! So you started moving your ass back and forth, trying to show you needed more, and Adam gladly understood.

Soon, Adam was thrusting you like a savage, also pressing his big body against your tinier frame, basically crushing you in the bed, everything he did just made you hornier and hornier.

– f-fuck, you're handling it so well, boy! – Adam's voice was deep and needy, praising you to continue – go on, I'm almost cumming! Just a little more and I'll give it to you!

And like promised, Adam soon came inside you, filling you with his seed and making you feel full, like a concluded mission.

You two lay down in the bed, exhausted and satisfied, your bodies sweaty and smelly, but Adam wasn't totally satisfied, his cock was still hard.

– Are you down for another round? – asked Adam smiling gently, you was tired, but you needed more.

You just stuck your ass out, still sideways and still full of cum, towards Adam, who just smirked.

— 03:29 —

Adam woke up with the sound of his phone ringing, happily you didn't wake up, but when Adam saw the number of the contact, he instantly recognized it, so he got up and went to the living room.

– what a surprise to get a call from you, Sergeant Mason – said Adam coldly yet calmly.

– “I know what you did” – said Mason through the call – “you were the one who framed that boy, weren't you?” – Mason's voice had a clear hint of anger.

– oh, I'm surprised you discovered it just now – Adam chuckled dryly – but why are you calling me about this? It was years ago, get a life.

– “how… How could you?! You know damn well I cared about that boy! I saw him as my own son!” – Mason was almost yelling.

– that's a really bad lie, you don't send a person who you saw as a son to be tortured. – said Adam coldly.

– “I…” – mason stayed in silence for some moments – “you manipulated everyone…”

Adam stayed in silence for some seconds before answering.

– maybe yes, but it doesn't matter, you made my boy be tortured, you almost broke him in a way I didn't know if I could fix, and now that he's okay again, you wanted to ruin everything? – said Adam with a harsh tone – I'm gonna give you advice, Sargeant, stay away from my boy, or I swear I'll ruin your life again and again if needed. – and with this threat, Adam ended the call and blocked the number.

Adam took a deep breath and came back to the room, where his boy was calmly sleeping, Adam smiled tenderly and caressed your hair.

“It was all for love, I would do it all again” thought Adam, he lay at your side and slept with you, proud of all his work.

— The End —

#daddy k!nk #manipulation #yandere #yandere behavior #yandere stories #yandere writing #obssesion #betrayal #mentions of death #bad friend #saying no #forgiveness #gay #male reader #happy ending #oc #my ocs #my oc

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not-goldy · 1 month

Note

What do you think about this? Almost 1000 Armys did not know the most touching and important moment that Jimin shared with us. If they were Jimin Solos, would the voting result be like this? I don't sympathize with them, but I think their presence is very important in Jimin's career, especially at this stage . and all the members should have their strong solo Fandom To carry their solo career .

Sigh

Not gonna lie at this phase in my life I hate PJMs. all of them won't leave a single one of them out.

I'd shoot to kill if heard them wrestling in the dark.

And I think at this stage in Jimin's life he doesn't need the toxicity and the constant in house fighting and if that's all they can bring to the table then Jimin is better off without them.

Also, Jimin's actual fans show up when the need arise. They are not either Army or Solos. No. A lot of the support he gets comes from those silent stans with dormant social media accounts who barely say anything on the internet or partake in these polls- but let Jimin put out any content or show up anywhere. I call them the deep pocket Jims DPJ. deep Park Jimins if you will. They show up with the big guns to his knife fights sell him out spend so much on him like damn go off.

Those fans I like. Hell I will kiss their ass and polish their shoe part their ass while they fart 🤣

I don't know whether he needs those toxics.

He does have plans and goals however and I don't care if I sound crazy for saying this, but Jungkook is at the heart of those plans.

Everything he's done from day one to this day is to try to merge his fans and his. And if they not catching his drift they never will. Off with their heads.

So yea, if he has independent plans that is not intertwined with his band or Jungkook then sure he needs to cultivate a solo fanbase. A purely solo fanbase. Which is not possible. Those solos would always have other celebs they stan besides Jimin even if those idols aren't necessarily or remotely connected to Jimin.

But I hate solos for now. A. They are not really solos they just assholes 🙄

Pjms and JKks are like two toxic annoying intolerable distant cousins you want to shove to the ground each time you see them.

Just for no reason, stuff their face with dirt and feed them to the coyotes.

On that particular Jimin moment- it traumatized me and affected my mental health so bad I had to work through it with my therapists.

People have no idea how mentally impactful his words are.

I bought into this narrative that he struggled the most and was at his worst ever when he was running around bench pressing and carrying weights to look hypermasculine.

Everyone knows this, I had a mental breakdown on the internet when a few years ago he started working out again. To me it felt as if he was experiencing all that he'd experienced in the past all over again. When I tell you it wasn't a fun moment for me.

It's the only moment in my life I thought of unstanning Jimin. It felt like a betrayal to others but I needed to detach from his trauma so bad.

It took therapy for me to understand how enmeshed i was and how much I had overly empathized with him to the point I was taking on his pain and struggles and trauma without knowing.

It's also the period I learned how dangerous parasocial relationships are.

I get that sharing this vulnerable moments with us helps them bond with us and that's what they think when they share these things but some of us are more susceptible than others and it's reckless of them to dump such heavy stuff on us traumatize us with it and then turn around and indulge in those triggering activities for the sports of it without warning ⚠️

So yea, that moment is burned in my memory.

How can I forget.

And I don't know if you've been following the discussions on my page lately.

But these reckless parasocial attachments some of these idols inadvertently foster is to me as problematic and perhaps even more so than an Idol broadcasting a live naked or calling his stans his girlfriends.

Like I said, there are certain uncomfortable conversations these solos aren't prepared to have about their faves. It's easier to point a hand at someone you don't like and say this shit you do is questionable. What's most challenging is looking inside and putting yourself or someone you love on the same scale.

And of course some of us are more comfortable with doing that because we like to turn everything into an intellectual discourse but for the annoying immature stans you can't reason with them beyond their feelings.

I hear you Anon. But today is not the day I defend any solo.

I can stan Jimin all on my own with Jungkook behind me🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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akookminsupporter · 10 months

Text

So many questions. So many things to say but I want to talk about certain parts of the conversation? Between Jimin and Jungkook that stand out for me. As Jack the Ripper would have said, let's take it one part at a time.

🐰come out of the blanket? Will you be able to handle it? Hehe nooo way

🐥as for me I can handle it

🐰reads Jimin's comment* kekkekekekek right as for Jimin hyung, he can handle it.

🐰damn funny hehe

Explain to me how we should interpret these comments in a different way than the obvious. Especially Jungkook's comment. And we have to keep in mind Jungkook's expressions while he was saying those things!!!

🐥you left at 2 so go and sleep soon now

🐰right I left at 2. Why do I hate sleeping so much

They were together yesterday until 2? Where were they? Doing what? Would it have something to do with whatever they did in New York? No, I still haven't forgotten about New York and the fact that they were using GoPro.

🐥no but hyung is scared of you

🐥I feel like you'll hit me

🐥kekekekeke

🐰noo what do you mean hit, you'll hit me? ME?

🐰what do you mean, don't portray me like that hyungnim

🐰when did I do like that? If it's so then it's me who got hit

🐰it was just for fun

This part is perhaps the most intriguing and I don't know about you but the way I interpret it is that Jimin speaks from experience. Jungkook's comment at the end more or less confirms it. And once again I wonder what they do when they are together because whenever they mentioned something about when they are together, we are all left with more questions than answers. Yeah, I still want to know why Jungkook was holding Jimin bridal style and spinning him around for Jimin to give him a hickey on the neck.

🐥looks like Jungkook forgot what type of person I am

This could mean many things but I decided to interpret it as Jimin saying that Jungkook forgot that Jimin does not show his house to the world under any circumstances.

🐥sleep soon once your this promotion is over

🐥hyung will come (to you)

🐰promotion.. I'm also not sure what will happen ..

🐥hyung is not in a state to do a LIVE

This part is a bit interesting but more because of Jungkook's comment than Jimin's. Jimin probably meant that his face was puffy or something like that, he always tries to show us his best side, even if we don't really care about that stuff, we just want to see them/him.

🐥if you see the picture I sent you, you will understand later, hehe

WHAT PICTURE?! SHOW US THE PICTURE!

🐰"right Jimina you also do the LIVE", "Jiminie hyung play around with Jungkook" see they're (ARMYs) are also saying, so why don't you just do the LIVE (with me)

🐥I'm not that easy (deleted)

🐰*Reads Jimin's comment*

🐰huh? Jimini hyung's comment weng missing

🐥heheheheeheh it's deleted heheheh

🐰exactly see, weverse censored the (comment) you said that you're not that easy. So let's go, on LIVE, I'll come there

🐥no, but just look at the picture for a bit kekeke so sorry

This part. THIS PART.

Jungkook I applaud how shameless you were by practically begging Jimin or trying to get him to WLIVE with you; using us was a smart move, too bad it didn't work.

Jimin knew he had Jungkook begging him on freaking live to do a wlive together and that's why he wrote that he wasn't easy. No one can convince me otherwise. And then he deleted the message but Jungkook saw it. And he repeated it so that anyone who didn't see it would know what he was saying. That man is a menace.

And again,

WHAT PICTURE?

This interaction was definitely too much but the way Jungkook flirtatiously begged Jimin or was trying to convince him to do a WLIVE together was the most surprising thing... maybe.

#jk wlive #favourite jikook moments #JKJJMP #JMPJKJ #rosie’s thoughts

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mrs-monaghan · 9 months

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Hi Shaz! I've read the 🔐 anon ask and damnnn the tea, in the answer I also see that you say that this person (probably) tell you something that is not ok to share and I was DAMN the tea with jikookers is always private 🤧 but it's ok in fact I wanted to say that I really appreciate that you and 🔐 don't share WHEN and WHERE and other infos

Shaz do u usually know a lot of stuff that u don't talk about?

Me? Of course not. I am Jon snow. Idk shit

😂😂😂😂

Not but seriously I'm an Army that lives in the UK what I'm I going to know?

But yeah let's not treat eo like idiots and pretend that people aren't sitting on gold in this fandom. First we got Kjikookers who have seen more than enough to never be insecure whenever Kookmin are MIA. To never be threatened by the vermin, ever. And to not care what V chooses to do or say when it comes to JK. Dk if y'all ever noticed but when V used to make Jikookers mad by name dropping JK it was never Kjikookers who cared. It was always I-Jikookers. And I think this is a big reason why.

Imagine... hypothetically speaking, of course... Hypothetically coz I have no way of knowing if this has ever happened and honestly don't think they could ever be this careless. But, imagine if you're an Army (so you know who BTS are) and are walking home at like 11:00pm at night then u see JK sitting on his motorcycle, waiting. Then Jimin walks up with a helmet in his hand and right before he puts in on, they say something to each other and exchange a quick peck right before they both put on their helmets and ride off.

Imagine if you witnessed something like that. You would watch tkkrs and laugh your ass off. You would see solos talking smack about Jikook and shake your head so hard going "if only they knew" That's how Kjikookers live. Aaaaah. How to be them.

Then of course we have Spanish Jikookers who always seem to know shit and lastly we have I-Jikookers who know that one Hybe cleaner's, sister's, grandma's, cousin's, uncle's dog.

So we know these people exist. And they look at asks getting sent to blogs like mine and they laugh their asses off wondering for how long people plan on being stupid. That sounds like such an amazing position to be in.... ngl. 😆

Of course there is always gonna be dumb asses who allow antis to get to them and so they leak something. Like the holding hands under the heart pic or the white day photo, trying to prove that Jikook is real. I get the moment of weakness n frustration that made u forget that you were putting Jikook at risk. But here's my thing;

If V and Jennie walking hand in hand in Paris didn't make people jump the Taekook ship, then nothing u show antis will ever fucking work. So take that kiss and take whatever sensitive info you may have and hold it close to your chest until the day Jikook come out. If they ever do. Until then, it is of no use to nobody.

Sure, I would love to know about it, I'm sure we all would, but this only breeds more stalkers who start sending JK food at his address and break into Jimin's house to try and prove they have something to hide. So whatever u got, keep that shit to yourself or strictly in that trust circle u got going on... but never post it for public consumption.

It ain't worth it.

Meanwhile, people like me are just gonna have to be happy with rosebowl and satellite Jeon because.... what else is there to do, right?

#ha ha ha haa #sad but true #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #jikook is real

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atomicdarc · 22 days

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Your au designs are literally so cool! Could you tell me more about them? I’m genuinely very interested

Oh hello there! Or course!

I don't have too much information to give for now, but there some things about the principal trio of the Decepticons: Demolisher, Cyclonus and Starscream! — I love how disastrous they look in armada, so I will bring that chaos to my story too! >:]

First of them, Demolisher. Well, Demolisher had a big devotion to Megatron, sacrificing himself a lot for him. He was considered Megatron's right arm on the Decepticons, army. For him being so devotional to Megatron's will, he had a lot of jealous stares at him, but he didn't care! Well, not for so long...

Have in mind that at this time he had his both eyes, he lost one or his eyes because Megatron punished him for slipping a little bit, and with a little bit I mean, for his teammates fault, one important war prisoner has escaped from one of the cells — I still deciding who it will be btw, but it will probably be a wrecker — Megatron was furious, that prisoner could bring a ton of important information, the first person that Megatron saw in his choleric walk was Demolisher, and then the worst happened... That was one of the first times that Megatron really snapped and abused of his power with one of his soldiers.

In this AU he doesn't hates Megatron, but he blames himself for his failure everyday, he has a perfectionist personality and he panicks when everything goes out of his hands, when Starscream meet with him for the first time he didn't understood why Demolisher was so damn afraid of failure, like, he didn't wanna loose and fail, but when Starscream turns into Megatron's second in command he starts to know exactly what is going on.

And how do Cyclonus feels about all of that? He feels bad for his friend and that he could do nothing to help, but he tells dumb and idiot jokes trying to rip a smile of Demolisher's face. Demolisher acts like he doesn't care and that he's indifferent, but he really enjoys his jokes and loves Cyclonus presence. Cyclonus can feel that.

Now about Cyclonus! Well, he's a yong boy! — kinda 22 yroish — he is a bit inexperienced in combat and it's slow to get some information, since his attention span is low, Demolisher always have to explain him things in the most careful and slowly way possible and he's very patience about that, Cyclonus feels very lucky to have a friend that finally comprehend his condition.

Demolisher rather's explain things to Cyclonus one million of times than see his friend suffering like he did in the past, Decepticons can be ignorant, stupid and sadistic sometimes, they would probably smash his brain with information since he is pretty easy to confuse and manipulate, and then they would use it to laugh in the lunch break.

Cyclonus is pretty interested about human comedy and internet culture, it's like hiperfixation for some reason, nor even demolisher understands it, but Demolisher enjoys watching pet videos with him, his favorite type of videos of this kind are about birds, while Cyclonus favorite pet videos includes cats and dogs. He tells to Demolisher that he looks like a soggy cat everyday.

Cyclonus is not so close to Starscream as Demolisher, but he doesn't mistreat him. Starscream can look a bit scary for him since he is almost all the time quiet and he just observes him with a glare when he needs to say something important to him. But with all the things that are happening because of Megatron, he tries to finally get along with him. It's a hard work, but he's trying his best with Demolisher's help.

And finally, we have Starscream dude, that guy is the definition of an LInking Park 2016 AMV, Just like in armada! But his quieter than normal, well, he's cold forged, and his brothers too, almost every cold forge has some mental of physical issue because of the bad development of the spark and by the fact that the spark sometimes feels despersonalizated, so sometimes you can see him fazed by his on thoughts.

He's a strong and pretty intelligent soldier, that got Megatron's eyes and he put the seeker's versatility on proof. Megatron puts him as his second in command, since it would he great if they separated the army by ground and air.

Starscream, his brothers and other seekers joined the cons because they hated their creators who subjected them to so much pain and Megatron knew it, his twisted mind took advantage of that and made the seeker go to the same crooked way as him, doing questionable things against his morals and conceptions of freedom

At the start, he doesn't get along with Demolisher and Cyclonus, but when he see and feel them treating and caring of his wounds caused by Megatron's unfounded rage he started to tolerate their presence at the start, then he finally accepts them as his friends. — he secretly watches videos about kittys without "Cyclonus discovering it" (Cyclonus already knows and he finds it kinda cute) —

That's it, their dynamic. There's a lot of things that I need to fix, add and complement, but for now it's only that!

And one more thing, sorry if my english sounds a little cracked, english is not my first language.

— Thanks for the ask! :]

#transformers #maccadam #starscream #transformers armada #starscream transformers #megatron #transformers au #cyclonus armada #cyclonus #transformers demolisher #demolisher armada #starscream armada

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lunarspiral1127 · 1 month

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X-men 97 episode 7 *SPOILERS*

Gambit's funeral

UGH, WHY?!?!? GAMBIT, NOOOOO!!!! 😭

I didn't recognize everyone at the funeral, but are they his friends from his past or his family? Cause I have no idea.

Nightcrawler with the eulogy. He sure has a way with words. Plus, him being there as a priest makes sense. Also, he looks so adorable with the robes.

Logan comforting Jubilee was sweet, bit it got me thinking that her screentime has been spent most with Roberto than the other X-Men.

Rogue going solo

Honestly, I don't blame her for hunting down Gyrich and Trask. Especially when it was later on revealed that they were involved but not the mastermind.

Cameos of Thunderbolt Ross and Captain America. Now, last time I saw 90s Steve Rogers was in the Spider-Man animated series during that show's own version of Secret Wars. Before that, he was trapped in a vortex with Red Skull. So, I guess he got out which is why he was there?

I was bummed that he didn't go help Rogue get Gyrich, but I get that he has to do things by the books. Cause that's who he is. Although, Rogue did him dirty by throwing his shield far into the mountains. It was funny and I don’t blame her for doing that. But I do kinda feel bad for him.

Her fighting Ross's army was cool. Also, if the base was durable against the Hulk, does that mean she's stronger than the Hulk?

Nightcrawler best brother! The way he talked to Rogue, hugged her when she was finally mourning over Gambit and Magneto (still don't like the Rogueneto ship), and even called her "sister"! God, I love this blue devil man! 😭 And if anything bad happens to him in the next three episode, Imma be pissed!

Roberto "coming out" of the Mutant closet to her mom

Well, it went better than when Iceman told his family in the X-2 movie. It was a relief to see his mom accepting of him and not hating him.

However, it's unfortunate that she told him to keep it a secret because of their business reputation l. It would've made more sense if it was to protect her son due to the humans' stances on mutants and what happened in Genosha. At least, that way, it would've been more of a good reason than about their business.

Jubilee being supportive and being there for him was sweet.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Jubilee isn't really part of the main plot, though, so I don't know if we'll see her in action, nor if we'll see Roberto use more of his powers.

Genosha aftermath

More of Jean and Scott talking, so that's good. They're communicating and are still working as a team despite what happened. So, there may be hope that their relationship will survive, but we won't know for sure. So much crap has happened, and I blame Sinister for all of it.

Emma Frost survived, and she got her diamond form! She must've been stuck in all that debris for days. Also, how is she gonna react when she finds out Sebastian Shaw is dead?

Beast and the reporter. Considering how all these relationships have been going in this show so far, I was very, VERY worried about Beast. But, because of what Trish (I think that's her name) said, it ended before it even started.

Trask

Y'know when he said he didn't want to be made a monster more than what Sinister did, I thought he was talking about Genosha, but I think he was talking about him turning him into a human sentinel.

Also, yes, we're getting Prime Sentinels, which is very very bad. They ain't no joke cause Trask as one took out the X-Men one by one. Rogue was knocked out with a single hit!

Speaking of Trask, I have no sympathy for that sunuvabeech. But, it was messed up how his body was twisted.

And, all because Rogue dropped him off the building! Like, DAMN ROGUE! Again, I have no sympathy for Trask, and I get why she did it but it was still a holy crap moment. Also, everyone else could've tried to save him, but they just stood there. I think only Wolverine was cool with it.

Thank god, Cable was there to save them. Doesn't seem like he likes Scott despite him being his dad, even though he cared for his mom back in episode 5. Then again, daddy issues have been a thing in the Summers' family. But, I hope that's not the case cause animated Scott is cool.

Bastion

This whole time, Bastion was the true mastermind?! God dammit, how did I not see this coming! OZT was Operation Zero Tolerance, I should've seen this coming, but I thought it was Apocalypse or Nimrod!

This is his first animated debut, btw. And, I'm surprised he was working with Mr. Sinister cause he's a mutant, and Bastion is a human looking sentinel thing. That explains the Genosha massacre cause, of course, he'd wanna exterminate them.

Magneto's alive! But, he's held captive by Bastion. Okay, I don't know how the hell he survived or how he got captured when he was in Genosha. I hope that'll be explained. But, if he's there then where's Leech? Where are the Morlocks? Cause they were there with Magneto.

I'm really really worried for Magneto. He must've been captured for days or weeks, and I think Bastion is gonna turn him into a Prime Sentinel like Trask. That would be so so terrible if that happened. He'll become the thing he fought against. The thing he despises. God, what's taking Xavier so long?! He gotta go save him!

So, a good episode again. But next week begins the three-parter finale which I'm really nervous how it'll turn out. I hope the show will stick the landing, but I can't handle it more of my favorite characters get killed or worse.

#x-men 97 #xmen 97 #x men 97 #x men 97 spoilers #episode seven #episode 7 #marvel

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bedtimegiraffe · 4 months

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My personal ranking of the the LI's reactions to the upcoming battle

I know I would be a damn mess about all the near-death experiences and want to talk about it. So I've ranked all of our love interests by how well I think they handled your character's obvious trauma!

Starting with the worst...

Pros: Mal, I appreciate that you don't want me to die and want to protect me.

Cons: My guy. My actual primary love interest. I get that you're depressed. I appreciate the honesty. But this is just more pressure! Now I'm responsible for both of our lives!

Pros: Aerin, it's nice that you're not also freaking out. Not about this anyway. That is reassuring. Fighting for the people we care about and each other are strong motivations I can get behind.

Cons: You do not at any point ask if I'm okay. Maybe you don't realize how bad things have been, or you feel like you have no right to ask. And I also don't love 'we might all die tomorrow' coming out mid-make out and immediately before asking if we should take things further. You can just make the offer! Don't act like you wouldn't be into it regardless!

Pros: Valax, I appreciate that you want me to fight back against you. The fact that you wish things were different makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. There are some big obstacles here and I acknowledge that. And you apologize for causing some of the trauma!

Cons: I don't love the energy that we can't figure out a solution. I get that you're very stuck in one way of thinking, but this seems like a great moment to figure something out other than 'We'll wait and see which one of us dies.'

Pros: Nia, I'm very glad you don't want to lose me. And I appreciate the acknowledgment that something might actually manage to kill me this time. I'm perfectly happy be scared together.

Cons: This scene is mostly about making her feel better. Which is fine, a lot of them are. And it's partially MC's fault for not having an option to say, "I'm scared too." But not my favorite.

Pros: Tyril, this is some solid reassurance. You'll be there with me. I'll gladly take that as comfort. Just being with me is probably the best thing to do. It's very practical and in-character.

Cons: I'm slightly confused how you thought armies worked prior to this, but we can get into that another day. As always, you could stand to ask about my feelings more.

Pros: Imtura, I love you. I am so enamored with the way you acknowledge that we could die while not being worried about it. Incredibly reassuring once we get into it.

Cons: You're not in a place to be 100% supportive because you've got your own stuff. But that's life! Overall, excellent work.

Screenshots for illustration purposes taken from Neckrone Shen's very good 4 parallel playthroughs of Blades on youtube. Because these games are so dang hard to replay when I have an idea. I hope using screenshots of someone's posted playthrough is acceptable? Tell me if it's not!

#Put “Died gloriously and looked good doing it” on my damn tombstone #I would also kill to have these scenes platonically #My primary MC still doesn't really know why Aerin left!#Or get an apology from Valax!#Or get to regroup with my beloved friends before our big battle!#cw character death #mal volari #aerin valleros #valax #princess valax #nia ellarious #tyril starfury #imtura tal kaelen

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 1 year

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Ikemen Sengoku (JP)

Kicho's Main Story Chapter 2 Premium

Mai: "Actually, there's something I've been hiding from you."

Mai: "I don't know if you'll believe me, but can you hear me out?"

Kicho: "Yeah. What is it?"

Mai: "I came from five hundred years in the future."

Kicho: "............"

Kicho looked surprised for a moment after hearing my words but quickly returned to his usual unreadable expression.

Kicho: "Future?"

Mai: "I was on vacation when a wormhole suddenly appeared and sent me back here in the Sengoku period."

Mai: "That was about three months ago. Someone took me in after that."

Kicho: "That's why you said you came from a village in the countryside?"

Mai: "Yes. But with no way to get home, I couldn't just let them take care of me all the time, so I looked for a place to work and found out about this place."

Kicho: "It makes sense. But I don't trust you."

Kicho: "What you’re saying is nothing but just a bunch of nonsense."

Kicho: "If you really are from the future, show me some evidence to convince me."

(I have a handkerchief as proof, but it would just look like any other hand towel.)

(Damn it, I should've brought my bag.)

(I have my camera and pen case in there.)

Mai: "Oh."

------------Flashback------------

Mai: "If only there was a brush that never ran out of ink, it would be useful in this situation."

Kicho: "You're right. If I had a ballpoint pen right now, I'd lend it to you."

---------Flashback Ends---------

(I thought I was imagining it, but maybe一)

Kicho: "What's wrong? Got nothing?"

Mai: "Yeah. I wish I had something from the future to give you, but I almost brought nothing."

Mai: "Though, I know about it too. The ballpoint pen."

Kicho: "That's一"

Mai: "You mentioned it before. That thing allows you to write without having to put anything on it and doesn't exist at this period."

Mai: "You know about the future, don’t you?"

(He used to be in the Oda army, and Mitsuhide had known him since he was a kid, so he's not originally from the future.)

Mai: "I got curious, so I snuck into this room to see if I could find any clues about you."

Mai: "I'm really sorry for doing that."

I bowed my head, my heart pounding as I waited for his response.

Kicho: "To answer your question, yes, I know the future."

Mai: "I knew it!"

I looked up and saw him giving me a pitiful look.

(Huh? That's not the reaction I was expecting.)

Kicho: "I see. You were born and raised in that miserable world."

Mai: "M-Miserable?"

Kicho: "I'm not from the future, but I traveled through a wormhole once."

Mai: "But you came back."

Kicho: "Yes. For a purpose."

Kicho lazily crossed his legs and sighed deeply.

Kicho: "I will use any means to achieve my goal."

Mai: "So, weapons?"

Kicho: "Yes. You know that Japan in the future is free of conflict."

Kicho: "Creating that hellish world is not the way to save everyone. That's why I'm going to continue this turbulent world."

Mai: "But..."

(How did he come to that conclusion after seeing a future without war?)

(From what I've seen, he really values life, yet his purpose contradicts it.)

Every time I talk to this inconsistent man, I feel like I'm wandering through a deep, foggy forest.

(This guy is an enemy of the Oda army and mine.)

(But I'd like to know a little bit more.)

Not only about the number of guns and his schemes but also about himself.

If I could do that, maybe I could put the missing pieces together.

Mai: "Um, can I still stay here?"

Kicho: "Well, you have nowhere else to go."

Mai: "Yes."

Kicho: "Then you can stay. But believing that you're from the future is different from trusting you."

Kicho: "I only have one condition."

Kicho cut off his words there, stood up, and walked to his desk.

He then took something out of the top drawer and showed it to me.

(Key?)

Kicho: "To keep an eye on you, starting tomorrow, you'll be working with me."

Kicho: "In other words, you will be my secretary."

Kicho: "That's the condition of staying here."

Mai: "What?"

Kicho: "Unsatisfied? Then you have no choice but to leave."

Kicho: "I'm determined to eliminate anyone who stands in my way or may stand in my way."

(I guess there's nothing I can do. I'm already lucky that he let me off the hook after he found out that I snuck in here.)

(I'll just try to be as normal as possible if he's going to monitor me.)

Mai: "Okay. I'll be happy to help!"

Kicho: "Then this conversation is over."

After confirming that I agreed, he opened the bottom drawer, took out a wooden box, and approached me.

Mai: "What's that?"

Kicho: "Some things I’ll use to patch you up."

Kicho: "Put your hand over here. You burn your fingers earlier with the tea."

(I completely forgot about it.)

I held out my hand as I was told, and his long, slender fingers took it, surprising me with his gentle touch.

Kicho: "It's a little reddish. I'll put some ointment on it just in case."

Mai: "I’m fine. It's not that painful, and it'll heal eventually."

Kicho: "I'm going to apply it now."

Kicho took my hand and applied a bit of it to the affected area.

Even though I knew he was only treating me, I couldn't help but blush as he gently stroked my hand.

(This is kind of embarrassing.)

Kicho: "That should do it. The redness should go away in a few days."

Mai: "T-Thank you, that helped."

Kicho: "If you get hurt again, let me know."

Kicho: "Don't be insensitive to pain. That's the same as neglecting yourself."

(Kicho...)

His tone of voice was as gentle as his hands, and I nodded my head, a little surprised.

Previous Chapter╏Masterlist╏Next Chapter

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen kicho #ikesen kichou #ikesen jp #ikesen #ikesen spoilers #ikesen translations #cybird #kicho

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 9 months

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Iam not a solo, neither an army.

But from what I've noticed, it's damn tough to be a pjm here.

Because you know how everyone's on Jm's dick 24/7? It can get tiring.

There are some newer pjms who have started to move like the cults, but atleast I see seasoned pjms disagree with them. Sometimes even "cancel" them.

Iam starting to sound like Iam defending solos. Haha.

Anyway, I was thinking earlier today. Jm seems to have collected fans who are here mainly for him and his music/artistry. And they do their bit religiously to support him. That's clearly their priority. Good for jm.

Cause you know other members also have large number of solos, but their priority is simply elsewhere.

I don't know if I talked about it here or in private at some point, but my image of pjms used to be so different. Every single group of any kind can easily become this hotbed of insanity because of group mentality. In some cases it's damn obvious, in others less so.

Of course each member has his own fans, there's nothing wrong there, it's quite normal. And for someone like Jimin, given the way he's talked about by armys and every single kpop fandom out there, I get the need of feeling protective. His fans are consistent and dead set on their mission. They don't fuck around and overall, yes, they do focus on his actual artistry. I read some really good analysis and interpretation of his work coming from pjms. They're also all about streaming and buying, but every fanbase is. The game is fucked, I won't be calling out only one group.

But something has really shifted lately and I simply don't understand it. Maybe it's the newer pjms, I have no idea because I have to tell you, I'm no insider to any group. I just don't understand some of the outrageous things they're saying, some of it don't make sense at all.

I was dumbfounded to read how they believed Jimin was forced by the company to go to NY in July and how they should be prepared to see Jimin doing fanservice with JK. What the actual fuck? This is not even about shipping, fuck that. But it was disrespectful to Jimin because he clearly voiced his opinion on that during PTD concerts. And second of all, is he some rookie without knowledge or protection that can be messed around? Forced to do fanservice with someone who he has been friends for 10 years. Someone he obviously cares about, just as he demonstrated he cares about the others as well. But everything needs to be turned into a conspiracy, someone is the victim and the other the most heinous villain. It's like logic and intelligence flew out the window. What's worse is that it's exactly what taekookers say about him. How can his fanbase use that rhetoric? How can they take something from the most horrible group in this entire fandom, the one which attacks Jimin in the most horrible way possible? It's beyond my comprehension. I hope true fans who are not crazy can talk some sense into newer or conspiracy-prone fans. Because it's not right and a damn shame.

#m thoughts

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zeravmeta · 1 year

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Top 5 things you look for when choosing a new piece of media to engage with

5. Popularity

This is going to sound weird right off the bat but I think a solid initial litmus test for whether or not you want to get into a new piece of media is to take a look at the popularity surrounding it: Are people normal about it? Weird about it (good And bad way)? Is it mainstream? cult mainstream? cult cult mainstream where it has a dedicated army of hidden internet ninjas occupying the most remote forums of the internet for the past 20 years and if you ask a rando on the street they don't know about it despite it being a multi billion dollar franchise (cough cough nasuverse cough)? This is also partially important because this is the likeliest category from how you will find out about this hypothetical media: Maybe it trends, maybe you see someone comparing it to something you like/dislike, etc. Generally this is the least important thing to consider but it IS important to at least think about. You'll need to know if you have a group of people who enjoy it the same way you do, or if you need to blacklist every one of your tags about it and seclude yourself from everyone else whose ever touched it.

4. Engagement

Right off the bat, when you see something new, did it catch your attention? If, in reading that synopsis, you find yourself lingering, then that's that. You've already engaged with it, and it being in your head is not a simple matter of modern marketing practices (sort of): Something in that first impression spoke to you, something that you already feel you might want to enjoy more. This isn't truly all that complex, but a first impression truly does mean everything, and regardless of how someone else might sell it to you, you do need to have your own judgment about a piece of medias initial presentation, be it the summary, first episode/chapter, the whole shebang.

3. Thematics

Ah, the good ol "Why?" of the world. What is this work trying to say? What is the theme of this work? Are these themes things that I value? I pride myself on being able to eat words and then say what those words are (It's the whole damn reason there is a zeravMETA blog here in the first place [well that and. archival issues]), and it's something that I always encourage people to try and develop for themselves: Despite what you may have felt like as a teenager in school, Critical Thinking Is Fun. When entering something new, right off the bat you will be thinking "What does this mean?", and asking and theorizing that question is half the fun. Not only that, but this process also necessitates your actual big boy brain to think (scary) about the media as more than just "These are lines." There are all flavors of media out there, and absolutely not all of them will actually want you to engage with it in a deeply thematic level, but just the act of doing so is fun, and more than anything, being able to identify what exactly a work tries to say bleeds into basically everything else on this list. More than that, being able to identify how serious a work is about its themes also helps in determining how much YOU will care about it. Perhaps you'd want to watch something that does not require much thinking, or maybe you'd like to read something that does challenge you. Use that sponge in your head, I know it hurts sometimes like that scene in Akira but I promise you that it is there to help you.

2. Aesthetic

This may be a weird one to put above thematics, which would be the literal meat and potatoes of a media, but I think it's important to determine whether something vibes with you more than if it is entirely coherent. Of course, you should not blind yourself to the flaws in any work, and it's part of your responsibility as the audience to take the work on its own terms and actually think about it, but beyond that you need to be sure that you actually vibe with the media you will be trying out. Something can be masterfully made, horrifically grotesque, bring out emotions in you that you didn't even know you had... And all of it would go down the drain if it's just not your taste of work. This is incredibly subjective and everyone has their own internal criterion on what types of works they vibe with, and contrary to popular belief that is in fact a good thing: Not everything is made for the nebulous 'everyone.' Different works will speak to and appeal to different people and groups, and recognizing what it is that YOU vibe with in trying to find new media to enjoy is important. Don't make yourself sit through something that you could know, objectively, is good, but you will not like simply because it is not to your tastes.

1. Do you think you will enjoy it?

Throw out everything else on this list. This was the first thing I wrote on this ranking and for good reason: On first impression, do you think that you will enjoy whatever it is in any capacity? You're going into this hypothetical media completely blind, aside from maybe seeing the synopsis, a trailer or two or maybe you saw a mutual talking about it, or maybe you saw a review offhandedly. Right off the bat, you will make a judgment, you just will, we do it automatically as humans, and you'll need to train yourself to ask: Will I Enjoy This? There are so many fandoms and people nowadays who like, refuse to engage with media on its own terms, or give it the type of critical thinking it may need, or who still hold onto medias they hate but still watch it even if it causes acid to bile up into their skulls every time they so much as perceive it: You need to kill that demon. Above all else, you will be engaging with something new, and it is important that at least, in SOME capacity, even in the most double-faced cynical hate-watching way, you enjoy it. Otherwise you will be miserable, Sisyphus carving himself a new stone, and that is something we want to avoid. Maybe you will be engaging with this new piece in an intellectual way, or maybe you love eating the words, or maybe you'll be joke watching it, or hate-watching, or just pointing out all the shit that could have been better, LITERALLY ALL OF THAT hinges on whether or not you enjoy it, so ask yourself: Will I Enjoy This?

->0. Sex Appeal<-

Is there an exaggerated effigy of a human being, a parodied facsimile of reality which activates your neurons? A character of fiction which has spoken to your peculiar proclivities, something awakened deep within you that you yourself never realized? It is said that the ancient Greek Philosophers first identified and called attention to headaches, some theorizing that this is because this was a critical junction of human evolution, where the first ever utterance of "boobs in my mouth" haunted their twisted minds. Know that you shall be engaging in fiction, that which parodies, reflects, and ultimately enhances reality, and why would you not engage with some bitches while you're there?

#zerav responds #thanks!

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codfanficedits · 5 months

Text

Christmas - Part 1/4

Pairing: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader

Summary: Kyle during Christmas :)

Wordcount: 2925 | Rating: E! (18+ only!)

Warnings: A little bit hinting to NSFW, I think? A lot of fluff :)

A/N: Merry Christmas!!

With is a slight spring in your step as you finally convinced him to build that snowman with you. Your hair sways with every step as you drag him along with you to the open field.

He shakes his head slightly in annoyance, then turns his gaze ahead. Just focus on the snowman, he thinks to himself. Don't let them see how much you're enjoying this.

His heart squeezes at the look in your eyes — how could he say no? And, if he's being totally honest with himself, he likes you being dependent on him for a change.

"Done." You exclaimed happily

His gaze remains on the ground as you complete the snowman, his heart thrumming in his ears. But he can feel your eyes on him, and he knows you want to see his reaction.

Finally, he glances up.

The snowman is goofy and imperfect — just like every other snowman. Yet the sight of it melts his heart and makes his mind turn into a fuzzy puddle of admiration for you.

He's too overwhelmed to speak, so he settles for a soft grunt. "He's...he's perfect."

The spring in your step stays as you walks over to him. "A work of art." You chuckled.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Kyle. I owe you one." You said as you looked up at him.

“Jezus!”

A groan escapes his lips when your hands move up his back, and his embrace tightens.

"I swear to god. You're gonna kill me." This is torture. But the way you tease him, the way you look at him — it drives him wild.

He hates it.

He loves it.

But he doesn't want to admit it.

A quick kiss on his cheek as you pull your hand away from his body, slipping out from under his shirt. There is a big smile on your face, dimples forming on your cheeks.

"Thank you." You murmured. "Let’s go inside before I have to warm my hands again."

“Why do I put up with you?" He groans. But his voice is teasing — an admittance of defeat and attraction.

You have his sleeve in your hand, leading the two of you back to the house. "Because I make a good snowman and a killer hot chocolate." You answer his question before you stick out your tongue.

He watches you with amusement — his expression softening at your teasing. Yet, his body still tenses when you touch his skin.

His heartbeat quickens when you peel away his jacket, your fingers grazing over his muscular body. He grits his teeth. How is it possible he still feels like a blushing teen?

This is torture, he thinks. I love it.

You have to stand on your toes to kiss him, and your kiss is sweet and soft.

A soft chuckle leaves your lips as you pull back and disappeared into the kitchen to make that hot chocolate

A low groan escapes his lips when your soft lips brush against his. His hand reaches out to cradle the back of your head — to pull your body closer, pressing you against the wall.

He wants to kiss you.

And he hates that he wants to kiss you.

But you can't fight this battle for him. It’s his to do. The only thing You can do is be there for him, and remind him that you are waiting for him.

A soft hum escaped you when you stir the milk on the furnace, patiently waiting until you can add the chocolate

A part of him desperately wants you to win this stupid game. To tear him apart, destroy his walls. But how dare you make him crave it so much?

So, for now, he allows you this game of cat and mouse.

...maybe just one taste would suffice.

You can feel his burning gaze on you, you knows that look all too well, the love, the longing. Not that he ever acts on it though, no God forbid the great Kyle Garrick would succumb to human urges.

His jaw stiffens as he takes in the beautiful sight. And damn it all, you know it gets to him. You know how much it drives him wild.

His eyes flicker open and he looks back down at the floor. You're playing dangerous games,

Your gaze shifts to the snowman you had built, and a soft smile tugs around your lips.

He watches with a soft smile as your eyes move to the snowman. He still wants to kiss your neck. I mean, who wouldn't want to kiss someone's neck? Especially someone with such silky-smooth skin.

Oh, you. If only he was strong enough to make his desires come into reality. Then he could finally taste your neck, your lips, your hair...your everything.

What would you taste like?

You transfer the hot chocolate to two mugs and top it off with some whipped cream.

You turn around to face him, your eyes shifting from the hot chocolate towards him, a silent invite for him to come closer and pick that mug up.

He grabs his mug of hot chocolate with trembling fingers as he stares at the steaming liquid. He is not allowed to look up at you. Not allowed to speak. Not allowed to touch you.

He's not allowed anything but to exist.

You watch him, like he had watched you.

You take the mug from his hands, placing it on the counter, before you use your thumb to wipe away the whipped cream.

It’s your turn to be surprised when he takes your wrist and gently licks the whipped cream of your thumb

A low growl escapes his lips as he licks your thumb — his tongue moving around like it's searching, desperate, needful.

And oh, it reminds him of the taste of your neck, the softness of your mouth. He is utterly addicted to your taste. God.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, resisting the urge to lean in to bite your neck.

"Sorry about that."

The air between you is thick with desire, and the tension is almost tangible.

You had never felt something like that before, and you wanted more. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched him.

"Kyle." You croaked as you gripped the counter to keep your touch on reality. "I'll go fucking insane if you don't kiss me."

His heart is racing from the sheer rush of your words. There is a fire in his gaze as he studies your features.

He wants to kiss you. God, does he want to kiss you.

He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with it.

"You... do you really want me to kiss you?"

The words are harsh, his tone sharp, but he needs to know that you truly want him. Otherwise he could never justify what he's about to do. He can’t dance around you any longer.

You don’t mind the sharp tone. You were used to it by now, your years long dance around each other.

God all you wanted was a kiss, all you wanted was his love. All you wanted was him. With all his flaws, with all quirks, all of him. "Love me." You whispered

His body tenses at your words — a sharp pain piercing his heart.

Your whisper breaks his heart, but he can't deny what he feels. He wants it. He wants you.

"I love you. More than anything."

Your hands reach out for his, pulling him closer to your, so he towers over you.

"I love you too, Kyle." You answered. "I've loved you since the beginning."

"And whatever your mind tells you, you're not weak for loving me."

You're it for him. You. You're it for him.

His body shakes with need. He is going to finally put this years-long dance to an end.

He leans in and kisses your lips with an almost violent passion.

Your hands find their way to his neck, as if you want to keep him there forever.

He had finally given in and you couldn't be happier. But you had to pull back, you had to breathe, but you smile when you see his face.

"I fucking love you, Kyle."

He smiles down at you, his body buzzing as his hands gently cup your face. There is still a hint of restraint — as if he doesn't want to scare your away by being too much, too quick.

But there is no restraining the heat he feels when he looks into your eyes. "I love you."

He kisses you again, the hunger of years finally being sated. This is better than anything he could have imagined.

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