#i don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me

[fraugwinska]

Ok so it’s going to be my birthday tomorrow and your the best writer I know that can do fluff so please for me do an alastor x reader birthday fic. Can be romantic and fluffy and do not rush it. Take all the time you need. Thank you

Happy Belated Birthday, my darling @alastor-simp! <3 I wanted to publish it on your special day, but it wasn't ready then and I didn't want to deliver something sub-par - But here you go! <3 I hope you had a wonderful day and this little gift brings a smile to your face! And thank you for always making me smile with your interactions! <3

You shuffled in the darkness, sheets clinging to your thighs and entangling in between your arms. Hell's summer nights, not unlike those on earth, were hot and sweaty and uncomfortable. But it wasn't the heat or the stickiness of your skin that woke you.

Tiredly you blinked, trying to focus your eyes to make the room at least a little more visible. There was the typical static noise that always buzzed around Alastor's and your room - something you grew so accustomed to that you weren't able to fall asleep without it anymore. But there was another sound, barely audible, coming from the other side of the bed.

"Al? " You murmured sleepily. He wasn't next to you as he usually was. You had become so accustomed to having him curled around you like a cat, that sleeping alone was a rare and unwelcome thing.

"I didn't mean to wake you yet. Ignore me, dearest, do continue sleeping." He replied with a small smile. Alastor sat by the open window, curtains drawn and only his silhouette visible against the purple and pinkish glow of the Pentagram's eerie moonlight.

"Mmh... are you okay? What are you doing?" You groggily sat up, the covers falling away and exposing the bare skin of your chest to the nightly air. You couldn't make out his expression, but his voice sounded smooth and a little husky from sleep.

"Waiting." He answered simply.

You knew better than to ask him what he was waiting for - there was a reason you and him quickly became 'an item' as Angel loved to tell anyone who'd want to hear it. A couple, Charlie said, though it sounded too mundane to you. Partners was the word you and Alastor agreed on. It was a complex term to describe your relationship with the overlord - he was your equal, your friend and lover and the one person who could truly understand you and vice versa. He was your home.

You stood from the bed and shuffled your feet to his side. You didn't feel any discomfort walking practically naked through the room - after all, it was hot as hell (pun intended), every bit of clothing would've just added to the unbearable heat. And who'd be watching anyway except for Alastor, who had basically mapped out your entire body more than just once?

Alastor shifted on the wide windowsill, making a space for you to sit in his lap. You settled your back comfortably against his chest, head tucked beneath his chin and began to gently caress the arms that instinctively wrapped around you. The nightlife of Pentagram City illuminated the streets below you, there were faint sounds of honking cars, small booms from ongoing turf wars and a steady buzz of voices filling the air - the night was the most lively part of a hellish daycycle for most sinners. In the distance the Heaven's Embassy tower stood prominently erect, counting down the days until the next extermination right below the clock, indicating it was just five minutes before midnight.

"I will wait with you." You murmured, closing your eyes again and relaxing completely in his hold. You wanted to give him the same sense of security that he provided you with, even if all you could do was keep him company.

"You don't know what we'll be waiting for, my love." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't have to." You replied. Alastor chuckled. He leaned down to kiss your neck softly and you tilted your head in order to give him more way. "I'll always be here, with you, when you need me." You added.

There was a moment of silence as Alastor held you close. Your breathing evened out again, your hands slowly falling from his arms. Your head rolled onto his shoulder and your chest rose and fell gently in a calm, hypnotizing rhythm. Alastor sighed in contempt while you were fighting the sleep, humming now and again to keep yourself awake.

The clock ticked, the volume of the noises outside rose and fell in an ever changing pattern. He waited, his eyes fixed on the fingers of the clock, his hands absentmindedly combing through the silky lengths of your hair.

It was a minute to midnight.

He could smell it in the air. The magic, the static, the energy. His shadow came to his side, a quick nod confirming that everything was in place.

Alastor turned his head, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as the clock struck midnight and he whispered.

"Happy Birthday, my darling."

Your eyes fluttered open, you were almost drifted back to sleep when his words reached you and you tried to turn in his arms, but Alastor kept you firmly in place, chuckling at your tired movement. You turned your head back and craned your neck, looking up at him, confused.

"What did you say?"

"Shhhh, love. No questions for now, just listen."

The streets below were suddenly silent, the constant noises stopped abruptly, as if someone had shut them off with a remote control.

You heard a soft melody, like a music box's tune, rising through the window. It was familiar, a song you've heard many times before, and each time it reminded you that it was your favorite.

"Darling, close your eyes." Alastor instructed.

"Why?"

"Come now, dear, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then just do as I say, and close your eyes."

And you did as you were told. A shiver ran through your body when the world was suddenly covered in darkness, sleep no longer on your mind - you were suddenly wide awake.

Alastor let go of you, gently helping you to your feet, taking your hand in his and leading you through the bedroom. The melody got louder as you neared the balcony door and you had a strange feeling that Alastor had something everything to do with it.

When you stepped outside, the wind brushed past your naked form and a cold shiver ran down your spine. Your grip tightened on Alastor's hand and his thumb rubbed soothing circles into the back of your hand.

"Keep your eyes closed." Alastor instructed, his hand leaving yours. You felt him move away from you, his warm body no longer a support, and you instinctively reached your hand forward to try and catch him, but you only grasped air.

"Trust me."

You heard the static buzz around you. Alastor was using his powers.

The next moment you felt a soft material wrapping itself around you, the texture of the fabric unfamiliar, but comforting and incredibly soft.

"May I open my eyes?" You asked, a smile on your lips as you guessed his answer.

"Not yet." Alastor's voice was behind you, he was still oozing magic, the energy crackling and fizzing around you. The material tightened around your form and you had an inkling of what it was that he conjured for you.

"Well then, darling. Now, you may look."

You opened your eyes.

Standing in front of you, his red eyes shining bright with excitement, was your partner, your equal, your best friend. His signature suit was replaced with a black, silky dress shirt, a matching bow tie around his neck, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his pants and shoes changed to a darker shade of the same material.

"Wow, you look incredible." You breathed, admiring him in his new attire.

"I am flattered, my dear. But I think you're the one who truly outshines the stars tonight."

You glanced down.

It was a dress, as you suspected. The same style as his, a silky black fabric falling in gentle folds around your calves, delicate lace trimming the hem. It was cinched at the waist, a dark bow tied in the front, the ends of the bow floating down your front. It was the perfect size, not too loose or tight, fitted to your form and hugging you in all the right places, the fabric indescribably cool and soothing on your heated skin.

You were stunned.

"It's... amazing, Alastor, but... What's the occasion?" You asked, still a little dumbfounded.

"Something I've been preparing for for the longest time, my darling." He stepped towards you, a hand stretched out to you which you took without a second thought. He smiled at the undisputed trust, at the instinctiveness of your every move towards him. "Today, my love, is your birthday."

Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips. "My... my birthday? How did you..."

"Yes, my love." He leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek. "I cannot restore your memories, but I vowed to gift you at least some parts of your life, if I were able to."

You looked up at him, and his smile widened at the adoration and admiration in your gaze. You couldn't recall anything from your life above, a blank slate waking up in hell, and you only shared how miserable and sad you were about that fact with Alastor when things got serious. He was the only one who knew how lost you felt, how the feeling of a missing identity made you restless and frustrated. You remembered the first time you two talked about it, the look on his face as he realized just how much trust you were putting into him by telling him the truth. Back then, his smile had been laced with incredulity, his disbelief strangely making his face look softer and kinder, more approachable. But in the weeks and months after, when he understood the seriousness behind your words, how much at least having some knowledge of your past life - however vague or unknown it would be - meant to you, this disbelief was replaced first by sympathy, and after a while determination.

Determination, apparently, to figure out a way to find and bring some of those memories back to you. And now he was here, dressed to the nines in the middle of the night, revealing that he had managed to find a significant one - your birthday. Handing it to you as a gift, right when the clock struck to begin it.

"My darling?" Alastor tilted his head, catching your attention. "Is everything alright?"

You didn't answer. How he found it out? No clue. How long did he know? Didn't matter. Did he find anything else? Didn't care. He had brought to light something you gave up on having so long ago, something so meaningful to you, that in that moment you couldn't find the words to express it in a satisfactory manner. You moved forward instead, arms rising to circle around his neck and using your own, meager powers to levitate yourself to bring his lips as close to yours as possible and his grin grew wider in response.

Alastor laughed and licked your lower lip playfully. "I take that as a yes."

And his lips finally met yours. The kiss was slow and gentle, no hurried movements or demands of any kind. Alastor could be a selfish partner, especially in taking claim over you. But not today, not right now he wasn't. He was only giving, not taking. Pouring every ounce of feeling he had towards you - impish joy and mischievous happiness and passionate desire and cocky pride - back into you, transferred through gentle swipes of his tongue against yours and wistful sighs that felt cool against your lips. It was a rare display that you weren't the only one that trusted their partner wholeheartedly - Alastor surrenderred to you willigly, gladly, and it weighted on your heart even more than the actual gift he intended for you.

When you broke away from the kiss you could swear there were sparks visible flying between you and him. Your breaths mingled as your foreheads rested against the other's, and you took the moment to collect yourself and speak.

"I have no idea how you did it, Al, or if I even want to know, but this is... Incredible. Thank you." You purred, nuzzling his nose affectionately.

"Of course, I am quite impressive, my love. But we are far from done." Gently, his long fingers gripped your chin as he pushed you away a little, encouraging you to open your eyes. His smile was a little wild at the edges and his eyes glowed with an excitement that promised mischief and thrill. You've seen this look before.

"Come now, darling. If we're to celebrate your most important day, we might as well make the most of it." He pulled you into a dance, your favorite song playing from within him - the perks of being the Radio Demon. You felt your dress gliding over your legs in smooth waves, and the soft fabric of his shirt under your fingertips as he swung you into another turn. With your past being his present, you thought, the real gift was a future with Alastor by your side.

And this future would be worth sacrificing your memories all over again.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fraugwinskawrites #happy birthday #quickfic #twinkle twinkle it's the fluff fairy

[holmsister]

Why I think Kabru was the first child Milsiril took in:

1) it coincided with the Utaya catastrophe and her leaving the Canaries. If she was already in the habit of taking kids in, Idk if she would have been able to still be in the Canaries.

2) it also makes more sense to me in terms of character motivation if leaving the Canaries and taking Kabru in is all one decision. Like. Young Milsiril doesn't seen particularly motherly. Think of how she treats Mithrun - she gives him motivation to live, yes, but she does so by inciting him towards revenge. (This happens BEFORE she takes Kabru in btw im pretty sure its explicitly stated somewhere. I say this because i saw some confusion on the matter). An older, less angry, more disillusioned Milsiril saw what the elves did in Utaya and decided to both stop being an accomplice and try to repair things how she could by helping a victim.

3) ...which also explains why she was so unprepared. Like there's no way around it - it's clear that she is incredibly unprepared to deal with a tallman child, let alone one who is as incredibly traumatised as Kabru was. She also seems to not have a clear idea about tallman growth and maturity rates etc. (She tries to spoonfeed an elementary age kid and thinks Kabru is going thru puberty at 22!) If she had previous experience with short-lived races she would have a clearer idea of such things, if nothing else, thru mere experience. Her lack of knowledge makes a lot more sense if taking Kabru in was an impulsive decision maturated in the context of Utaya, and only after she spent some years with him she was like. Oh actually I like taking care of children. I might want to keep doing it.

4) I know there's the Rin comic in which the other elves seem to imply Milsiril is the go-to for dealing with short-lived races children and also she says she doesn't have space to take anyone else in, but it's possible she started taking in more kids in after she felt like she got her footing with kabru (iirc kabru had already been living with her for a couple years at that point) or, what I'm tending towards, she meant that she couldn't take anyone else *besides Kabru*. Considering the other elves treat Rin as some sort of little wild animal l don't think it would take much for them to consider someone an expert in handling children.

5) there's never any mention of other kids besides Rin in Kabru's memory. It seems weird to me if he spent so much time in the house with those other kids he does not talk/remember them, especially considering how curious and sociable baby kabru was. It might be a facet of elven childcare we don't know, but we see elven families being reasonable sociable in canon at times, i don't see why Kabru wouldnt be allowed to befriend the other kids if they were there.

6) milsiril seemingly dedicates a lot of time to him and only him. This can be explained simply by noting that this is Kabru's memory tho. But still. She keeps track of him in adulthood, has him fully adopted into his family, dedicates personal time to his education and training, and even teaches him some coping mechanisms for his panic and anxiety attacks, like the whole "recite capitals of the world" thing.

I think that Kabru was the first kid she took in, he lived alone with her for a very long time, and only after he was with one foot out of the door (14-16) she started taking in other children, which would be at that point too young to be interesting as friends to a teenager Kabru looking forward to either becoming a Canary or moving out.

#kabru #milsiril #dungeon meshi spoilers #baby kabru #meowing to myself #this is just how im making sense of it tho im.fully open to being wrong #like nothing in this is definitely proof #i love kabrus relationship with his messy mom can you tell #its such a rare depiction of an adoption/foster care situation #in which both the good and bad things are shown

[unopenablebox]

i really have to stop being so ashamed of ordering sushi 1-2 times per month. it's not actually a significant part of my budget or causing me any financial strain whatsoever and even if it were it's just morally fine to sometimes spend more money than strictly necessary in exchange for food you really want to eat

#i don't obsess like this about anything where 🌸 and i are getting takeout or going out together mainly because i then have a second person #endorsing my behavior. unfortunately they are a vegetarian and don't usually want sushi. which makes sense. #i am really convinced that if anyone saw my grubhub history they would decide i am an overly affluent idiot and find a way to #cancel me on twitter. even though i don't have a twitter and no one who uses twitter knows who i am or could identify me. #i'm being very brave with this post jsyk. im exorcising things. #box opener #anyway. i'm thinking about it. #it's true that i also ate sushi on may 10th. but this doesn't actually mean anything bad will happen if i do it now as well #i'm pretty sure

[aduck8myshoes]

I know the writers won't give us an endgame wlw sibling, but think about the bridgerton family comedy they could milk out of that! Imagine:

In either a cold open cut-off or a cliffhanger, Cressida impulsively kisses Eloise and runs away, leaving Eloise completely blue screened. Eloise has no idea that lesbibabs exist, bc regency, and she is having lots of feelings she doesn't understand. She needs knowledge which to her means books, but where would one even find such a publication?

Cue Eloise trying to casually ask her two most worldly brothers where to find books about girl kissing. B and C spend a good 20 seconds looking back and forth from her to each other and going on just incredible face journeys. She's like, I just overheard some stuff and was curious this is not about me at all ahahaha, and they all suddenly have very important things to attend to that are not this conversation.

(Read more because this got long lol)

Colin has seen women have sex with each other in brothels, but he is an oblivious mfer that just discovered complex emotions last season, and probably had no idea there could be romantic feelings involved. So of course he goes to his wife about it.

Penelope is like, wtf, where is this coming from?, and Colin manages to not blurt out that it's about Eloise for a whole 10 seconds. Pen, who actually has a modicum of emotional intelligence, has heard her recently reconciled best friend complain for years that she doesn't understand why women want husbands, and is like, oh, some things suddenly make sense. She tells Colin to not worry about it and go to sleep.

Bi-nedict, who does know what a lesbian is, has heard his darling sister complain for years that she doesn't understand why women want husbands, and is like, oh, some things suddenly make sense.

Being the selfless brother he is, he heads over to the nearest artist orgy and asks around for some literature. They're like, oh yeah for sure, we have a zine club! (And then gets dicked down/pegged like he deserves.)

A few days later he gets a discreet delivery of underground pamphlets with names like "A Treatise on Human Sexuality" and "Like Yearns for Like: Observations on Attraction" as well as some he will NOT be giving to Eloise. (Zine club is very educational)

The less salacious pamphlets get awkwardly passed off to Eloise before bed and she spends all night in a montage of reading, recalling memories of Cressida (or possibly just women in general) being attractive, and working her way though her mini identity crisis.

At breakfast Violet sees her be like "Thank you for your... help. It was very... helpful" while not making eye contact with B, and mentally steels herself for whatever nonsense her kids are up to now.

For the next several episodes we watch them stumble upon Eloise as she attempts to get Cressida alone to talk (and then "talk") and have to try to keep anyone from finding out about the gal pals.

(Benedict going to duck around a corner only to see his sister sucking face and ducking right back out: Hey Colin and Penelope why don't we spend this entire ball standing right here blocking the entrance to this side hallway for no reason.

Penelope, who hasn't seen E in like an hour, putting 2 and 2 together: Ah yes, what an excellent idea brother-in-law! The view of everything in the opposite direction of that hallway is most splendid from this exact spot.

Colin, looking around, probably still oblivious: did Eloise go home?)

Anthony and Kate could be dragged into the effort as well at some point when they see something they shouldn't while looking for their own make-out spot.

And then when the drama hits and the relationship is revealed, they all put on their best shocked Pikachu faces while Colin finally gets it and is like, "oh wait is that why she was asking about-" before Pen stomps on his foot.

Violet lets herself give up for a full minute and just bang her head on a table.

#bridgerton #creloise #these gays have me writing meta for bridgerton ffs the brain rot is real

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods asked: Vriska and Eridan have now killed one person each. Tavros and Feferi's respective moons have been destroyed; as such, they cannot be revived via dream selves or the moon-crypt slabs. What do you think will happen now? ~LOSS (18/5/24) @manorinthewoods asked: Welcome to Murderstuck, aka Homestuck's version of Canaan House. Who do you think's going to survive this? ~LOSS (22/5/24) Anonymous asked: tavros and feferi are D----EAD! do you think they'll stay dead? you've already stated your opinion that there are death flags like crazy all over vriska, so do you think anyone else will die? if so, who? Anonymous asked: Now that the bodies have started to hit the floor, what's your prediction for who's gonna survive to meet the humans?

I'm actually doing to do something a little different this time, and analyze the situation primarily from an author's perspective, rather than an in-universe one. I had a lot of fun doing that with yesterday's Kanaya post, so I want to try it again.

Let's enumerate the remaining trolls, in ascending order of how likely I think they are to kick the bucket (😳) during Murderstuck.

There's no chance whatsoever that Sollux will die. His Doom prophecy is fulfilled, and if he were to die a third time, it would break his long-established duality theme. Plus, he'd have predicted it, and would have been complaining about it since Hivebent. He's fine.

Death flag score: 0/10.

We just got Aradia back. She's not even involved in Murderstuck, seemingly travelling to the Furthest Ring after being resurrected, so none of the murderers can touch her anyway.

Aradia is a powerful time manipulator who can freeze even the most dangerous enemies. It would take a lot more than Eridan and Gamzee to defeat someone who can stalemate Perfect Jack, and I predict that she'll survive the rest of the Act with ease.

Plus, killing her again so soon would feel really cheap. Been there, done that.

Death flag score = 0.5/10

Karkat and Terezi are too important to die.

This doesn't always guarantee a character's survival - A Song of Ice and Fire comes to mind - but ASOIAF kind of proves my point, doesn't it? Martin can throw all the Red Weddings he likes at us, but everyone still kind of knows that the really important characters aren't going to die until their arcs are complete. If A Dream of Spring ever actually comes out, Daenerys will still be around, and you can take that to the bank.

So no, I don't think Karkat and Terezi will be going anywhere. Now that Kanaya appears to be dead, they're undeniably the most important trolls remaining, alongside Vriska. And we'll get to Vriska.

Death flag score: 1/10.

I know it's weird to predict that an already deceased character won't die, but I wrote an entire post last night about why I believe this to be the case.

tl;dr: it doesn't make narrative sense for Kanaya to stay dead.

Death flag score: 2/10.

Now, we're onto the characters who I think might actually die.

Gamzee's still alive at the end of the countdown, so he'll at least survive the next couple of hours.

Certainly, his position seems rather precarious. His stated intent to wipe out the entire Veil will make him a lot of enemies very quickly - and based on the image above, he clearly gets into some sort of trouble. That scratch almost looks like it could be the work of Jack's sword.

However, I have a hard time believing the Most Important Character In Homestuck is going to die less than halfway through Homestuck. He's been saying all sorts of cryptic nonsense lately, and he strikes me as someone whose role in the story will expand even more than it already has. Gamzee is the one character on this list we know will stay relevant for the entire comic.

I don't think he's going to achieve his murder mission, of course. I think he'll probably be 'defeated' somehow, and expelled from the Veil by the surviving trolls, only to pop up again sometime later. There's still a chance that he'll be killed - but if he is, I'm 100% sure that he'll return in some form. Gamzeesprite would be even worse than Calsprite, in my opinion.

Death flag score: 3/10.

Yes, I still believe Vriska will die - but I don't know if she'll die in Murderstuck.

Scratch positioned her as someone who will perpetuate a monumental, large-scale mistake, and I don't think there's anything she could do on the Veil that fits the bill.

However, Vriska is more imaginative than I am. She could easily pull a trick out from up her sleeve that I didn't see coming - some terrible, horrible idea that earns all of Scratch's foreshadowing in one fell swoop. Vriska is known for her Incidents, and you never know when the next one is on the horizon.

Death flag score: 4/10.

There's not a lot tying Equius and Nepeta to the Veil, is there?

They don't have strong relationships any of the remaining trolls, and even among the B-team, they've barely had any prominence since we've left Alternia. Killing one or both of them would up the stakes of Murderstuck without introducing the narrative issues that, say, a dead Karkat would cause.

Plus, if one of them dies, then the other would immediately gain an incredibly strong motivation, and become a more prominent character overnight. I already like Nepeta - but a heartbroken, vengeful Nepeta hunting Eridan down across time and space? That's a fucking arc.

They could also both die, and return to the story from another direction. It hasn't escaped my notice that almost all the 'important' trolls are Prospit Dreamers, and the two Furthest Ring explorers are Derse girls. I've been wondering for a while now if the solution to the Veil's bloated cast is to split the trolls back into the Red and Blue Teams, with the Red Team joining the kids outside the session, and the Blue Team joining Aradia in the Ring for some secondary mission. I guess that implies Tavros will be resurrected, but there do seem to be hints that that might happen.

I don't want either of these two to die, but... well, killing them would raise a lot of interesting possibilities.

Death flag score (both of them together): 6/10

Death flag score (one of them) : 7.5/10.

Eridan is screwed.

Neither the story nor the trolls can allow him to ally with Jack and lead him to the Veil, and they'll do anything they can to stop him. I don't think anyone's inclined to show him mercy, either - Kanaya and Feferi were very popular.

I don't really see any way out for him. He has no allies, he can't Hopesplode everyone at once, and he's never shown himself to be particularly resourceful. I think if there's one troll practically guaranteed to be Murderstucked, it's him.

Death flag score: 9/10.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #asks #deep dives

[skelliko]

Hello first time requesting

I was wondering if I can request reader x hanma were they have a toddler and hanma rough plays with him and overall hanma being a good father to the point that the reader is moved to tears as they see that since they never really saw how a loving father is supposed to look like so it’s like healing their inner child seeing their kid being genuinely loved by their father not just in name

(It’s to heal them daddy issues yes)

a/n: we're in this together cause me too. at first I didn't wanna write it since I've stated I wouldn't write about marriage or pregnancy but I'll let this dodge just cause I said so. (btw I did the kids gender as a boy cause you mentioned 'him' once, not sure if that was on purpose or not but i hope thats okay)

____

Hanma Shuji |-° a good father

it was scary getting married, afraid that it would turn south and become unhappy to the point where we'd turn down walls just to get our points across. afraid that cause of all our bickering he'd be secretly go with another woman, become avoidant and distant but that hasn't happened, at all.

finding out I was pregnant was terrifying, afraid that I would fail as a mother of a sweet baby and id be the reason for his dreams and innocence being taken away. you don't need to be drastically smart to know that you eventually become your parents, everyone has some sort of element inside of them that resembles their care givers. so I was petrified that I'd turn out like my father, or maybe that I had married the wrong man to commit in having child with; just like my mother. generational trauma doesn't go easy on anyone, so my heart always shook and sank whenever i held my boy.

I try, I really do try a lot to make sure that what I went through won't ever happen to my- our kid and he'll grow up to be loved. but fear does still strike me since I'm yet to figure out how to be as a parent, Im aware that how I grew up wasn't right at all, but that doesn't mean that I know what good parenting looks like.

I've told hanma about my fear of parenting before we had agreed on having a kid, he didn't look at me weirdly, he didn't say anything negative, he didn't tell me that I shouldn't worry half assed as if it should be common sense to figure it out on the spot. instead, he told me not to worry sincerely, he meant every word he said, soothed me with warm words and some of his little jokes, and told me I have plenty of time to figure out if I want to be called 'mom' and that there was no reason to rush into things. so after a few days I've made up my mind and went on to discuss baby names as a hint that i want to keep it.

----

I hear small giggles in the other room, ones that belong to our child, a child that has the most gorgeous smile and has his father's eyes. his tiny baby hands have grown to be toddlers and he's still growing everyday.

I wiped my hands dry and clean on a towel in the kitchen from washing the vegetables that I was about to cut up and cook. I could have started right away with the cooking but I wanted to quickly see what's so amusing that got our boy all loud and humoured.

leaning against the door frame I saw our boy stood up on his little feet with his arms circling around in the air, Hanma was gently pinching his tummy with this thumb, pointer and middle finger making him ticklish and making 'pow' and 'wow' sounds. Hanma was smiling and laughing along as he'd change him movements to then annoy the kid by tapping him on his cheeks and nose, the boy would try and move hanma's hand away but despite his annoyance he was enjoying it and that just kept Hanma to keep playfuly annoy him.

is that something that fathers do? is that what they call rough play, or is this something else?

a main thing that also struck me in this moment was that hanma was smiling while playing with the boy. Im aware that parents can still smile but seeing his joyed expression instead of a bothered and annoyed look felt really refreshing.

for the past few years we've had our boy he's been nothing else than a good father, sure we've had a few off moments but there will always be short lasting moments where it feels like we're all sinking because of our own mistakes and flaws.

but over time Hanna has made me realize many things, about himself, myself, our boy and on an overall what it means to be a good parent. what considers to be good parenting is a very controversial topic for most but I'd say as long as the child is happy and isn't sat through abuse or neglect, that's more than enough.

my boy will have the childhood that I needed but couldn't have, Hanma is being the father that I needed but didn't have. our boy will be smiling all throughout. while im over here trying to keep in my angsty emotions, c'mon I'm better than this aren't I?

I put a hand over my mouth to stop my quivering lips but my teary eyes took that as a chance to spill over before I could wipe them away. looking away to avoid any attention but before I could go back to what I was doing before; Hanma called my name out and I felt his hands slide up my upper arm and turn me around. he saw me cry before I saw him notice.

"hey hey, what happened? talk to me" he said worryingly

looking at him briefly, I wanted to speak up but even I was unsure on what I was crying about, but then i looked at our boy for a few seconds and it only then clicked in. I shook my head gently before replying "no it's just- you're a good father. and I'm glad our boy will have you to look up to"

hanma immediately brought me into a tight hug but then chuckled a little, I felt the vibration of his laugh against his chest. whats so amusing? "and he has an amazing mother to look up to as well. I know how stressed you've been and I'm really proud of you for how far you've gotten"

 ♡---

#i hate writing about a sappy family #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #hanma shuji #shuji hanma #hanma x reader #hanma shuuji x reader #hanma shuuji x you #hanma shuji fluff #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers hanma

[orcasoul]

I'll Come Back For You

Summery: Letting go is hard to do for both of you. But as they say, if you love someone, you have to let them go.

Warnings: Death, Grieving, Mention of Injury, Swearing, No Use of Y/N.

Italics indicate inward thinking.

Joel sat on the porch swing, staring lovingly at how the late evening rays illuminated the varying deep shades of your hair, how it flowed down past your shoulders and blew gently in the summer breeze. God you're a work of art. He'd taken so much for granted before, but now, every time he casts his gaze upon you he savours each and every second.

The slope of your nose, the faint lines at the corners of your eyes, the few strands that have began to turn grey, even the way you hold yourself. If Joel had his way, these moments would never end. These are the moments when his life makes sense. Where he can breathe and just.... be. Where the gnarled roots of wretched sorrow and anger briefly release their strangling grip on his tormented soul.

In these precious moments, in your presence he can once again feel a spark of life ignite inside him, can almost feel the broken shards of his heart piecing themselves back together. He doesn't care how many times Tommy and Ellie have expressed their concern for his mental well being, or how they've begged him to open up to them and not shut them out. He doesn't need their pity or 'support'. You're all he needs.

"You're staring again," you chuckle, while turning to stare at Joel's warm eyes. A fond smile twitches at the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I guess I am," he replies softly, but his tone is anything but apologetic. "I just can't help it. You're so beautiful." You smile sadly, looking down at Joel's hand. You reach over, instinct and love propelling you to take hold and lace your fingers with his.

But at the last moment, you stop and drop your hand to your lap. There was no need to look at Joel to know the anguish and longing written all over his face. Hell, you feel it too. The deep rooted need to feel each other's skin and warmth is overwhelming for you both. But it's no use. It can't happen now.

"So are you," you whisper affectionately. Your smile fades and Joel furrows his brow in confusion. "You've been awful quiet this evening, sweetheart. Something on your mind?" Joel asks, his voice laced with concern. You close your eyes and sigh. You don't want to answer. You don't want to have to do this, but it's for the best.

This cannot be ignored anymore. You refuse to sit by and watch the man you love retreat further and further into himself, downing in a sea of sorrow. As long as you are here, you are a painful reminder. You had hoped your presence would have helped Joel to come to terms with what happened, reassuring him that it was beyond his control.

There was nothing anyone could have done. But for all your efforts, you can see now that your being here means Joel is stuck in limbo. He needs to find a way forward, to find something to keep fighting for, and you fear that can't happen unless you give him the space grieve and heal.

"Joel...," your voice wobbles as you struggle against the lump in your throat. "It's time. You need to let me go. You have to allow yourself to move on." Joel's soulful brown eyes meet yours, glistening with unshed tears and you feel your heart breaking for him. 'I... I can't," his voice almost sounds pleading, "I can't do this without you."

He desperately wants to hold you, to keep you in his arms forever. He's never loved any woman the way he loves you. Love isn't a strong enough word to describe the depth of his devotion and affection for you. You are (were) his life, his joy, the very beat of his heart, a missing piece of his soul.

He can't do this, not again. How can he even put one foot in front of the other if you are not in step with him? Without you he will remain hollow, aimless, just a simple lifeform existing from one day to the next. You take a shuddering breath, hoping your next words can convince him.

"Yes, you can, baby. You're the strongest person I know. I know it will be hard and I'm sorry... "I"m so sorry it has to be like this-," "Don't," Joel cut you off gently, shaking his head, "You have nothing to apologise for," "Neither do you," you reply, matter of factly. Joel looked straight ahead, his jaw ticking as he tries to tamp down the anger festering away inside of him.

The self loathing he deserves for failing another person he loves. "I should have been there to protect you." "Oh Joel," you sigh, sadly, "How many times do I have to say it? We cannot control everything around us. You need to accept that life has it's own plan and what will happen, will happen. It's. Not. Your. Fault." You enunciate the last sentence with conviction, tears threatening to chock you at the obvious ruination haunting Joel's visage.

Even from his side profile the pain is clearly evident. A moment of silence follows, after which, Joel turns to face you, eyes redened, tears now trailing the curve of his cheeks. "I love you so much," his pained words are barely above a whisper, as if his grief is physically crushing his windpipe. "And I love you. I always have," you reply softly as your own tears begin to fall.

You want nothing more than to comfort him, to take him in your arms and shield him from his suffering, to wipe his tears away and kiss his soft salt and pepper curls. But it's impossible and you feel so helpless, so useless.... and you hate that. How cruel its, to be so close and yet, so far away.

"And that's why...," you take a deep breath, your own sorrow weighing heavily on you with what you now have to do. "I have to go." Joel's eyes widen but before he can protest, you continue, "I'm sorry," the regret choking you is stifling, "I wanted to help you find a way through this, but I can see now that I'm doing more harm than good. You need to be able to mourn, Joel. And you need to accept the love and support of those around you. You still have family here and they want so desperately to help you, but you've pushed them away. I can't bare to see you wasting away like this."

Somewhere, deep down Joel knew that this time would come, he knew you couldn't stay here forever, but how the hell can he let you go? It would be like expecting him to live without breath in his lungs. "Please, y... you can't go..." Joel's voice wavered as he continued., "I... I can't lose you again, sweetheart." You try to reassure him with a gentle smile, "You'll never never truly lose me, darling."

A sad sigh escapes you, "But you will lose yourself if you continue down this path, and I won't let that happen. Ellie and Tommy are so worried about you. You need them, even if you don' realise it." "How am I supposed to live every day without you? I just...," Joel lets out a shaky breath, rubbing his hand over his face, "I Cant. I've lost too much. I can't do it again."

The defeat in Joel's voice, his eyes, his posture causes your gut to twist up. You want to stay, it's tearing you apart inside, feeling as though you're abandoning him in his hour of need. But staying would only make things worse in the long run. Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions for the greater good. It will be hard for him, but he still has so much to live for, so much love to give, even if he's blind to it right now.

"Joel," you began, voice gentle but firm, "You can. The Joel Miller I know can do anything he puts his mind too." A barely visible smile appears at one corner of Joel's mouth, but as soon as it appears, it's gone. "I want you to do something for me, darling," " anything!" Joel replies in earnest. If you could physically caress his cheek right now, you would. It feels so wrong to not be able to touch him. All you can do is shuffle closer and lean into his tired face.

"I want you to promise me that you'll keep going, that you'll allow yourself to feel everything you need to, and that you'll lean on your family. Promise me that you'll live the best life that you can for yourself, for them... and for me, please." Joel is lost for words. He's done a lot of bad things in his life, but he must have done something good at some point for the universe to bring you to him. He doesn't deserve the endless love and concern you continue to bestow upon him, even in death.

Your bright and hopeful eyes bring Joel a sense of clarity. This is the last thing he can do for you, the last thing you'll ever ask of him, and he will do it, for you. No matter how difficult it will be. He suddenly doesn't feel so lost and adrift anymore. You have given him a new purpose. He will honour your last request until his dying breath. After a few seconds of quiet contemplation, Joel whispers, "I promise."

You release a sigh of relief, a heavy weight lifted from your shoulders at Joel's reassurance. He'll be alright. "And I promise you, when the time comes, I'll come back for you. One day, we'll be together again. But I have to go now," you pause, trying to fight the tears that threaten to fall again, "I won't say goodbye, cause this isn't goodbye. It's see you later."

Joel swallows the sob trying to climb up his throat. His heart is screaming at him to beg you to stay, but he knows when your mind is made up, it's made up. And you've decided he needs this. As much as he can't fathom not seeing you again for god knows how long, he takes comfort in knowing this separation is temporary. He will hold you again, laugh with you again and spend eternity by your side.

"I love you," Joel sniffled, knowing this is it, woe burying itself deeper into his soul. "I love you too," you declare, devotedly. "see ya later?" The words leave Joel's lips as a hopeful question. "See ya later," you confirm lovingly, and with that you fade into the soft golden twilight.

6 Years Later...

Joel couldn't focus, his eyelids like lead and his body trembling. The voices around him seemed distant and muffled one second, then loud and sharp the next. Throbbing pain bloomed through his torso, exacerbated by each breath he took. "What do you mean there's nothing more you can do?" Was that Tommy? "You can't just give up on him!" Tommy shouted, his voice a mixture of anger and fear.

"I'm so sorry, but all we can do now is try to make him as comfortable as we can." Darkness encompassed Joel as the voices began to fade once more. When his eyes opened again, he's met with the grave faces of Ellie and Tommy. He tries to sit up but his limbs feel too heavy, even turning his head is a challenge, and the oppressive atmosphere shrouding the room tells Joel the situation is... bad.

"What-" "Shhh...," soothed Ellie with tears in her eyes. "You're in the hospital." Joel swallowed thickly, wincing as his body screamed in protest at the slightest movement. He slowly turned his head to see Tommy standing at the other side of his bed. His blotchy, tear streaked face caused Joel's stomach to twist up in knots. At that moment, it all came rushing back to him.

The ambush while on patrol with Tommy, the broken baseball bat protruding from him (again), Tommy heaving his battered body onto his own horse so he could keep him upright on the journey back. He's been in dire situations more times than he'd like to remember but this time it's... different, both Tommy and Ellie's sombre mien thickening the atmosphere as every second passes.

And that's when it dawned on Joel; This isn't just bad, this is something he won't come back from. "Tell me...," Joel mumbled, weakly. Tommy cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice even, "The uh... the doctor..," Tommy lowered his head, shaking it as if in disbelief. Normally, Joel would snap at Tommy to 'spit it out' whenever he fumbled his words, but not this time. Not when his baby brother is clearly struggling to keep it together.

Tommy sighed, lifting his gaze to meet Joel's. "The doctor said you have internal bleeding and uh... there's nothing more they can do." Nothing more they can do. The words echo loudly in Joel's ears. He's had many close calls over the years. He'd used up his nine lives a long time ago and now his number was up. Our luck had to run out sooner or later. Tess' last words return as a grim reminder of the fragility of life in this world.

A part of Joel always knew he'd meet his end sooner rather than later, but being faced with that reality now.... well, nothing could have ever truly prepared him for this moment, the finality of his tumultuous life. Joel remained still, staring up at the ceiling while it sank in, a barrage of emotions crashing over him, simultaneously; Fear of the unknown, worry for the family he'll leave behind, regret for so many past mistakes, but also... acceptance. After everything he feels unexpectedly ready.

He'd kept his promise to you everyday for the past six years. He'd rebuilt his fragile relationship with Ellie. It took many deep and uncomfortable conversations and he always gave her space when she needed it, but slowly the cracks disappeared and the two became closer than ever, he even became a doting grandpa to JJ and a devoted uncle to Dylan.

The past mistakes with Tommy could never truly be erased, but he and Tommy both came to realise that they couldn't and more importantly, didn't want to dwell on it anymore, even Maria had come to accept Joel and gave him a second chance to start over with no animosity between them. He'd done that for you, just as you'd asked of him. Everyday Joel had kept your memory alive as he'd lived the best life he could, and now he's reached the end.

"Joel...," Ellie's quivering voice broke through Joel's hazy mind. The woefulness behind her tears caused Joel's heart to clench. "Come here, kiddo," comforted Joel as he slowly lifted an arm to embrace his adopted daughter. Her warm tears fell onto his neck as he gently rubbed the back of her head. "It's...okay. It'll be okay," he gulped while trying to be strong for her. "How can it be okay? How will any of us be okay without you?" Ellie wept, voice shaking with each breath.

"You're strong and you h... have people who care about you. Don't make the sa... same mistake I did," Joel told her as he thought about how he spent so long pushing people away. "I love you," she breathed out quietly into his ear, and Joel closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. "I love you too, baby girl. You take good... care of JJ,... you hear me?" "I will," Ellie promised. Joel then looked to Tommy, who's head hung low in shame and remorse. "This is my fault," his jaw clenched in anger, the same way Joel's always does, "I'm so fucking sorry. I should have been quicker, should have killed that bastard sooner!"

"Hey...," Joel gently interrupted, "It's not your... fault. We were outnumbered." Tommy shook his head, seemingly unable to accept his failure. "Tommy," Joel began, in a no nonsense tone, causing his brothers' eyes to meet his own, "You got us out... of there and got us home. That's what... matters! So don't you dare b... blame yourself for th... this.

Tommy was speechless for a moment. He grabbed Joel's hand and asksed, "Who's gonna keep my ass in check around here now?" "I'm s...sure Maria has that covered...," it was becoming more difficult for Joel to talk, "and if not this one will do the job," he quipped, pointing to Ellie with a small chuckle but he immediately winced as shooting pains radiated around his lower abdomen. "Easy...," Tommy rested a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder.

As the hours wore on, Joel became weaker, his breathing more laboured. Medication helped to ease the worst of the pain, even though, at first he refused it, insisting that it was pointless to waste it on him. It was only after Ellie had begged him to take it, that he finally relented. Maria and Dina came to say a teary farewell but left the children with a babysitter, as Joel didn't want their last memories of him to be a bruised and bloodied man on his deathbed.

Day bled into night. Ellie and Tommy kept vigil at Joel's bedside while he slipped in and out of consciousness. Joel became even more breathless, his golden hue became pale and clammy. It wouldn't be long now. A sombre silence filled the air, holding more weight than any words could. But even if Joel wanted to speak, he found he suddenly lacked the strength to even open his mouth. An exhaustion he'd never experienced before swept over him like a warm blanket, along with a bone deep, desperate need to sleep. Just for a bit. I'll sleep just for a bit.

*****

"Joel?..." a warm hand on his cheek and a soft voice he'd know anywhere, resounded in his ears like a sweet melody. His eyes shot open and he gasped in shock as he took in the image of you standing beside him and... touching him! Maybe he's dreaming? "Hi, baby," you smiled down at him with tears in your eyes, stroking his patchy jaw, tenderly. "You're here," he sputtered in disbelief.

"I promise I'd come back for you," you replied soothingly. And that's when Joel knew without a doubt he's not dreaming. As if on instinct Joel reached for your hand, clasping it in his own, bringing it to his mouth and pressed his lips to your soft palm. "I missed you," he cried, unable to believe that the moment he's waited years for is finally upon him. How he missed your delicate touch.

He'd dreamed of your embrace every night for the past six years, and now at long last, it's real. Joel swung his legs over the side of the bed, pulling himself up, the absence of pain and the rejuvenation of his 'body', another confirmation of his new reality. Joel wastes no time pulling you into his broad chest and you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

You breathe in his woodsy and coffee scent, while at the same time Joel's nose buries itself in your hair, slowly inhaling your scent, one hand splayed across your back and the other cupping the back of your head. Tears stream down both of your faces as years of longing and loneliness come to an end. Now only forever awaits. "I missed you too," you wept, "So much." "I did it, darling. I did it all for you, every day," Joel whispered into your ear. You pull back, enough to look into his eyes, eyes filled with relief and love.

Gently holding his cheek, you reply, "I know. And I'm so proud of you. Now you can rest, my love." As the tears begin to dry and emotions calm somewhat, Joel realises you two weren't the only one's crying. Turning around his heart sinks and chest tightens as he has to witness Tommy holding a sobbing Ellie, while his own tears silently fall. On the bed, Joel's body lies motionless, drained of colour but with a serene peace adorning his relaxed features.

He remains frozen to the spot, wide eyed until you slip your hand into his, giving him a supportive 'I'm here' squeeze. "They'll be okay." You smooth your other hand up and down his arm. "They have each other and their families. They'll take care of them. And when the time comes, we'll all be together again." Joel answers with a silent nod, squeezing your hand in return. You know Joel through and through, and you know that he's always taken it upon himself to care for and protect those he loves.

But now that responsibility is his his no more. It'll be hard for Joel to relinquish said responsibility, which has been the staple in his life, but he has faith in Tommy, knowing he'll look after Ellie. They're family, blood or not. He can rest in that knowledge. "Joel...," he brings his attention back to you, raising a quizzical eyebrow at the smile plastered across your face. "I brought someone with me. Someone who has been waiting a long time to see you again."

Realisation of whom you are referring to flashes across Joel's face, but before the name can pass his lips, he hears the sweetest, most perfect voice say the word he hasn't been called in over twenty years. "Dad...," With bated breath, Joel slowly turned around, his mind struggling to function properly. There she is! His baby girl, standing in front of him, just as beautiful as he'd remembered her.

"Sarah...," Joel whispered in awe, frozen to the spot where he stood. 'Hi, old man," she smiled as she closed the gap between them. Her close proximity snapped Joel out of his statue like stance, quickly pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly to his chest. "I missed you," she cried into his chest, while wrapping her arms around his waist. "I missed you too," Joel choked out, "It's okay baby girl, I'm here, I'm here," he comforted her as his own tears joined hers.

He tenderly drew her head back, cupping her face in his hands, his eyes absorbing every beautiful inch of her features; Her expressive eyes that has passed onto her, that killer smile he'd always thought of so fondly, the blush of pink that always tinted her cheeks. God how he'd missed her. "You're grey," Sarah teased through her tears, running her fingers through his soft curls.

Joel chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with warmth and admiration. "Your beautiful." He pulls her in for another hug and turns his head to you. You are crying silent, happy tears for them both. Joel reaches out, silently beckoning you over. With his daughter under one arm and the woman he loves under the other, he now feels complete.

His post cordyceps life has led to this very moment, to be with the people he loves the most. Of course his heart aches at the thought of leaving Tommy and Ellie behind, but it won't be forever. You're right. It's his time to rest. Sarah takes his hand in hers, her thumb rubbing over the scars on his knuckles. "Let's go home," she said, softly, "We have much to talk about."

With one last glance over his shoulder and a nod of confirmation, Joel is ready. A bright mist hovers where a wall should be, a calm and quiet ambience emanating from within. Together, with linked hands the three of you slowly disappear as you walk through the veil into forever.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal fandom #joel miller x you #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel x you

[storiesbyjes2g]

Hey Jess! I had a question that I figured other people might want to know as well. I'm always amused at how your game matches sims up to marry or have children. I was wondering, what are your MCCC settings that make it happen so well? I have sims sitting in my 'manage households' and none of them have married or moved out with the 'in game' story progression. What's the secret sauce? 🤣

Howdy, partner! 🤭 It's funny you should ask me this because on my seven mile long list of video ideas I have is a short series about MCCC settings, and this is one subject I wanted to cover. But who knows when I'll get it together and actually record those videos lol. As you could imagine, the secret sauce has many ingredients, so I'll put the rest of this under the cut because it's a lot. Here we go!

Even though I said this is a multipart answer--and it is--I'm gonna split this up into two sections because marriages and pregnancies are two separate entities. Many of the settings are the same, and they both fall under the MC Pregnancy module, but they're still separate, and I think of them differently.

Marriages

Marriage Sim Selection

The first thing you should consider is who you want marrying and if your sims should be included in the process. As you've seen, I like seeing the other sims' lives progress, even if it's messy AF LOL. I especially love this happening in the aDOLTing save because I'm technically not allowed to play with anyone else but Luca right now. BUT, I don't want every single sim there is to get married, leaving no single sims for my sims to date. That's what happened in Emmy's generation and why I added Ali into the world because there were exactly TWO eligible males in the entire world, and I knew one of them would definitely not work out. In the Marriage Sim Selection part of MC Pregnancy, you can specify who can and cannot get married. I'm not gonna through each setting, but here are a few that are important enough to note.

Allow homeless marriage: Unless you regularly add your own sims to the world, I would enable this. Otherwise you probably won't have any marriages happening. This is disabled by default. Yes, you run the risk of your unplayable sims marrying someone hideous, but it's better than them dying alone, right? Plus you can always make them over. Your sim doesn't know the difference anyway lol.

Bypass dorm residents: If you don't enable this, your university students will be eligible for marriages!

Bypass played households: IF you want to be the matchmaker for your sims (the playable ones), turn this on! If you're flexible and don't mind surprises, turn it off.

Bypass active sim romances: This one needs to be in red lol. TURN THIS ON! If your sim is dating an NPC, and you don't want that sim to suddenly turn up married (I'm giggling...you know why), you need this on. I think it's on by default though. The only "gotcha" with this setting is that the relationship has to be significant. Lovebirds status isn't strong enough to prevent a marriage. I usually get my sims into an official relationship as soon as possible to prevent this.

Other Marriage

In the Other Marriage section (MC Pregnancy), there are settings for renaming, moving, etc. after marriage. You should definitely check out the settings to tailor it to how you want your world to be, but I want to call out Use Traits for Marriage. This is a newer setting that I enabled as soon as it launched. It doesn't make sense for Don Lothario to get married in every single save. He has the noncommittal trait! Turning this on will take a sim's traits into consideration before determining if they are eligible for random marriages.

Spouse Sim Selection

In this section, you can do things like allow polygamy and inter-family marrying, specify what % of marriages should be same sex, allow teen marriages, etc. Here are just a few settings I want to call out.

Occupancy Preference: It took me some years to figure this out, but this is honestly the key to my entire setup. This determines which group of NPCs are candidates for marriages and pregnancies by where they live. The choices are homeless only, prefer home sims, living in homes only, and none. I have prefer home sims on. I like neighbors dropping by and seeing them walking around, so I tend to put my sims' friends and sims I like into homes. This setting says when it's time for random marriages and pregnancies to occur, sims living in homes get first dibs. If none of them are eligible, then everyone else will have a chance. I used to have this on none, and I was experiencing waaaaaay too many random marriages. Like, good on the homeless sims for having lives lol, but they were snatching up every single eligible sim and I was like this has to stop lol.

Use Same Age-Group: I've gone back and forth about enabling or disabling this one and finally decided to enable it. This will keep your fresh from high school babies from getting married to someone with one foot in the grave! Sims will only marry other sims in the same age group as them. Back in the day I felt sorry for the elders because they're always single when they die. But I also felt sorry for the baby they married lol. True, when they croak, the kid can find new love, but they've wasted so much time being married to the old sim. So with this on, elders aren't completely out of luck. They can just only marry each other.

Pregnancies

Okay! Now that we know how to let sims get married, let's learn how to knock some up! 😂

I would check out the Offspring section of MC Pregnancy on your own just to get familiar with how you can shape your sims' families and even the children to a certain extent, but let's get to the important stuff.

Other Pregnancy

There's really good stuff in here like allow pregnancy aging, pregnancy duration, and random moods, but the only thing I want to call out is Use Traits for Pregnancy. This will take into account sims traits before they are marked as candidates. It won't prevent sims with the hates children trait from getting knocked up, but it will lower the percentage (which you can specify in another section, I think).

Partner Sim Selection

This is similar to marriage sim selection, and in here I also prefer home sims in the occupancy preferences. I also allow a veeeery tiny percentage for allow affairs. I like tea, what can I say? LOL Not everyone is faithful!

Pregnant Sim Selection

This is similar to spouse selection, and I do not allow homeless pregnancies for the same reasons I don't allow homeless marriages. I have all the same settings enabled from spouse selection, so revisit the above. Additionally, I use days until max age. This prevents a sim from getting pregnant X number of days from the end of whatever lifespan you specify is the oldest to be pregnant. I don't allow elder pregnancies, so this stops my adult sims from getting pregnancy X days from their elder birthday. My number is 10, but you pick whatever makes sense for your lifespans. I do this because I've had waaaaaaay too many sims get pregnant and have babies like the day before their elder birthday, and then they die before the kid is a teenager. I don't want orphans in my game! They make me sad. Besides, in real life, at a certain point women can't have children anymore, so I want my game to be the same.

Days to Run Checks: By default, MCCC will go through this process of marrying and knocking up sims 3 nights a week at midnight, but you can change that to whatever you like here. I thought 3 nights a week was WAY too often, so I only have it run once a week on Fridays.

Pregnancy Percentage: Just because the check runs every week doesn't mean I want someone getting pregnant every week. I'm not trying to create a baby boom. I cut the pregnancy percentage for young adults by half and adults by 75% (since IRL it's harder to get pregnant the older you get). I'm not afraid of a teen pregnancy story, so I do have teen pregnancies on and reduced their percentage by 85%. Even though I wouldn't mind telling that story, I don't want a teen pregnancy epidemic lol. I've had this enabled, but I've yet to have MCCC knock up a teen.

I think I skipped over Marriage Percentage but I use the same logic and similar percentages there too.

Valid Target Ages: HA! I see why I've never had a teen pregnancy lol. Even though I have it on, I never marked it as a valid target age. For whatever reason I only have YA selected. Not sure why. Probably for the best. If a teen pregnancy happens, I'd prefer it be my own sims.

Bonus

I love a little risk and challenge and surprise in my game. This is why I love using lumpinou's mods. I not a micromanager and prefer some things be left to chance. I like being able to try for a baby and it maybe not work that time. I don't like how predictable the game is. So, if you're feeling froggy, here are a few more settings for ya!

MC Woohoo - Woohoo Pregnancy

Risky Woohoo Percent: I used to have YA on 3%, but lumpinou has intergrated her mod with MCCC more, so I don't have this enabled anymore here. (it's controlled by her mod now and I think it's at 5% now). 3% might sound low, but MAN I've had so many oopsie babies on that little 3% lol.

Try for Baby Percent: I lowered mine to 65% just to add some variety and give my sims something to work toward. (No, this is not what caused Luca and Sophia's problem LOL).

MCCC Settings - Relationship Settings

I'm highlighting this because, even though I placed it in the bonus section, I highly recommend you check this out. These are the settings that control if/when sims move in together or break up!

Auto-Relationship Settings

Breakup Settings: You can specify which sim will move out and who the children will live with. Couple relationship change percentage applies a modifier that will make a couple's relationship (dating, not married) increase or decrease over time. I increased mine to 20%. Same thing with spouse relationship change except I only did 10% there.

Move-in Settings: I allow homeless romance move in and kept the romance level to the default. (sweethearts) I also increased the romance move-in percent to 25%.

Bypass Played Household: It should go without saying, but just in case it's not clear, I always want my playable households bypassed because I want to maintain control over what happens to them. About this, I have other households that I don't actually play (in the Pierson save) that I have as playable just to preserve them and prevent anything from happening. So to be clear, unless a household is marked as played, they will be subjected to the random marriages, pregnancies, and relationships.

A few months ago, I FINALLY decided to mark Emmy and Ali as unplayed, hoping that Ali would find love again and that Emmy and Dwayne would move in together. Instead, Alessia got knocked up, and Dwayne put his foot down LOL. Sorry dude. Wish I could help! Well, I could just move her in, but it actually doesn't feel right for the story...but that's an entirely different conversation lol.

Anyhoo...I hope you found something in this novel that helps to spice up your game! Thanks for asking!

#mysimsloveaffair #asks

[furiousgoldfish]

Abuse seemed normal and justifiable to me, the entire time I was living in it as a kid. I didn't question it, the justifications and defenses would appear in my head before I would even start to get upset about it. 'They didn't mean that, they did it to make me stronger, to teach me how hard life is. They only did it out of anger, they wouldn't have done it if I didn't make them angry. It happened because I did x. They're my parents, they're doing what's best for me. I just don't understand yet because I'm not old enough but eventually I'll get why they're acting this way.'

It feels like that when you've never had a life away from abuse; it is the only normal way of life you've ever known, and implication that it might not be normal are too scary to explore, but also completely unbelievable. Because you would have to believe that you yourself are in a special situation where normal rules no longer apply. Rules like 'your parents love you and do everything for your own good', 'you need to listen to your parents, they know what they're talking about', and 'Your parents are just trying their best'. And you feel like you're nothing special, nothing that happens to you is special, nothing is out of the ordinary, you're feeling even less than normal, you feel like something is deeply wrong with you, rather than the situation you're in. Of course your parents are normal, and mean well, it's you who needs to get their shit together and stop being, whatever you are, it's unclear.

It can seem from an outside perspective, that a child would recognize at least some of the abuse for what it was, even if subjected to the rules of 'parents love you, they know best, you need to obey them', if the abuse is extreme, but no, they wouldn't. Looking back at my experience I was able to justify not only the physical violence, neglect, insults and humiliation, but even the constant, very detailed death threats that would constantly come out of the abusers. I listened to them describe to me how they would kill me, often implying they should have killed me already, and all I thought was 'they are just saying that, they're not actually going to kill me, they're saying it because they're angry, I shouldn't take this personally'. When I think about that now, I am appalled, you would think anyone subjected to constant detailed death threats would know for sure that this is wrong. But I was also hearing about how they 'sacrificed everything for me' and 'nobody else would ever love me like this', and how could I have known, as a kid, which one of these are lies, and which are the truth? I was heavily pressured to believe that they loved me. How would I have known that my parents had reasons to convince me that their murderous intentions were fake, but the love they had for me was real?

Without a clear reference to how parental love looks like, there's no way to tell. And if you ever do see a depiction of a loving family, your abusive family will be very quick to tell you that they're "doing it wrong", "spoiling that child", and "created a selfish brat". And how would you know that this isn't true? You don't yet know that they have reasons to lie to you. You've been told they're your parents and they only want the best for you, like all parents do. They just don't want you to grow up a selfish brat, so that's why they don't do all of the listening, hugging, caring, paying attention, conversing, and advocating for you. To make sure you're strong and responsible as a human being. It makes sense when you're a kid. When you're an adult, you understand that it never made any sense, that shaming good parents only served the purpose of making you feel like you're having a normal experience, and that your parents were right to abuse you, even superior for it.

It's possible to endure any amount of abuse and to be convinced that it's normal. I've talked to adults who've been sexually abused and trafficked by their parents and still believed the parents loved them. There's no limit to what you can convince a child is normal. Any abuse can be hidden by a guise of normalcy.

#child abuse #tw death threats #tw mentions of csa #tw mention of child trafficking #hiding abuse #justifying abuse #recognizing abuse #living in abuse #abusive childhood #traumatic childhood #not being able to recognize anything as a child #because no references and pressure to believe what you're told #can overrule anything you're experiencing

[arcadekitten]

I don't know if this will make sense but mareggie is such a comfort of mine, esp with the fact it doesn't like, focus on the suggestive parts most people expect from a relationship.. idk if that makes sense but as a demiaroace person I love your works

Thank you so much, I'm so happy you feel that way! ♡

They are a big comfort for me too, as I'm sure anyone could see! I'm happy I made the decision to have them both be asexual and not only is it comforting but I think it is something that can be important too (as you are displaying to me right now, by telling me they bring you comfort!)

My world is a bit of an ace fantasy anyways where no one is even capable of getting sexual to begin with, but even within that context Mary and Reginald are both such completely non-sexual characters and I like that about them. Their relationship is one that holds no sexual connotations to it within the context of their world and even within context of the real world/metaphors/anything like that.

And I don't want to sound like a dunce or anything when I say things like that. I know that asexuality is a spectrum and that being asexual doesn't inherently make someone non-sexual. But both Mary and Reginald are characters who ARE both asexual and non-sexual and that is important to both of their characters and the story I'm telling between them.

While part of the reason Mary and Reginald are like that is for my own self-indulgence of the kind of media I had always wanted to see(as an ace person myself) I hope that maybe they can also open the eyes of others for what a romantic relationship can be like. That romance does not always contain sexual undertones. That forms of attraction do not always have blurred lines. And maybe they can challenge themselves to explore ideas of intimacy and love and closeness in ways that do not involve anything sexual in nature at all, because they're just as normal and meaningful as ideas that do.

And also, that asexual people can have stories+romances in which they are the main characters and it's stories that are (hopefully!) exciting and fun and engaging and dramatic and nerve-wracking and suspenseful, just like other romances that came before them. My stories might not be for everyone but they do fill a niche and it makes me happy to know that people both in and out of that niche can appreciate Mary and Reginald and their romance for what it is ♡

Anyways that's me rambling again but thank you for giving me the opportunity to!

#hope this doesnt come off like self-serving or anything #like i think my work is soooo important and if i didnt do it no one would or anything #but im here and im doing it to be the change i want to see in the world #and im happy if others can find comfort in it too #mareggie #mary #mary anta #reginald #reginald tetra #reggie #reply

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

hope this is okay to ask

do you (or anyone else) know of anything on if reading skills/comprehension is included in skills that can decline because of autistic burnout or anything?

some context: i'm in college right now trying to finish my bachelor's degree. problem is, i'll be in my 6th calendar year in september and i'm just under 2/3 of the way done. i've noticed that for a few years now, my ability to read went way down. to the point where long blocks of text are sometimes impossible for my brain to process.

i'm diagnosed with ADHD and my processing speed is on the low end of average. i'm self diagnosed with autism and waiting to be contacted because i'm on a waitlist to be assessed.

i don't usually do my readings for my classes if it's not necessary because they're large blocks of text, and the language is really confusing so it can be difficult to read. changing the font doesn't help much. some fonts are better than others, though, and sometimes i have paper copies so i can't change the font or use text-to-speech to read them.

i've tried to explain this to family but they just brushed it off as me being in college and "everyone stops reading in college!" and "it's because you're reading all the time" but that's the issue. i'm not reading because i can't read most of the time. it doesn't make sense to me if i try a lot of the time.

no pressure to answer this at all, i was just curious if you knew anything/could find anything about this.

Hi there,

I personally can’t relate to this. I chose not to pursue a bachelors degree. I think it’ll be too hard or stressful.

May my followers can help? Hopefully some have been in a similar situation.

I’m so sorry that I couldn’t answer your question. But thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open #education #reading comprehension

[icallhimjoey]

More!!! More!!!! More bookstore!joe! MORE!!!!!!!!!! we've seen his erratic behaviour when he visits the store after not having been able to come in for a while, but what about the visit before he knows he's not going to be able to come in for a while?

omg im so here for the bookstore!joe requests, but the "i already miss you even though youre still here" somehow turned into whatever this is... idk why i went where i went, my apologies, and tw for vomit Wordcount: 3K

---

Lost Moments To Keep

You hadn't stopped staring at Joe with the biggest eyes. You seemed confused and weirdly mesmerised. Your eyes tunneled a little, vision darker around the edges.

"That's Joe." Anne just said, and then your eyes moved to give her the same wild look.

"And I'm Anne. We like me, a lot. We don't like Joe. You've got temporary loss of normal brain function, look, Google says." Anne held her phone to your face, too close for anything to register.

"You're not helping, Anne." Joe scolded through clenched teeth.

"Wha–"

Joe was on the phone to someone, and... you knew who that was. You knew who that was. What the fuck. What was Joe Quinn doing in your bookstore?

And why were you on the floor, exactly? Your left elbow hurt, but the back of your head much worse.

"Yea, she's awake. She hasn't lost consciousness at all." Joe said to whoever was on the other side of the line. "Confused, though. Brain's all scrambled."

"Do you feel dizzy? Google says you might feel dizzy."

"I... what day is it?"

"Oh my God, she's asking what day it is." Anne said, turning to Joe like she was blaming him for what you'd asked. In Anne's terms, she was panicking. Anyone who didn't know her, though, would think she was being exceptionally calm given she'd just witnessed her boss lift a box of books that tipped her over backwards.

Your head hurt.

And you did feel dizzy. And nauseous too, a little.

It made sense that you had fallen, but it was strange to not remember and to have two strangers fret over you in your own business.

Your eyes darted from the worried face of famous actor Joe Quinn who was stood by your feet, to the wildly uninterested face of a younger girl who sat next to you with her legs crossed as she scrolled on her phone.

"Any vision disturbance? Are you more sensitive to light than you'd usually be, do you think?" Anne asked, seemingly going down a list she'd found online.

"Okay, thanks. We'll make sure she doesn't move until you get here." Joe looked at you as he said goodbye and hung up. That looked like your phone.

"Her mum's on her way."

Why was he using your phone?

"Any mental fogginess?" Anne continued, ignoring Joe and additionally ignoring you, entirely unfussed that you weren't answering any of her questions.

"Hey," Joe softly said, catching your attention as he stepped closer and leant an elbow on the counter as he bent down a little. He smiled warmly at you when he asked, "How are you feeling?"

Joe Quinn.

Joseph Quinn.

What was he doing in your bookstore?

And who the fuck was Anne?

Your eyes moved from one to the other until you saw black spots and the pain behind your eyes grew. Your ears were ringing when you softly said, "I'm... I'm gonna throw up."

Joe almost hadn't gone in today. He almost hadn't, because he didn't really have any time to waste. But, Jesus, he was glad he was there.

God, imagine if he hadn't been.

When Joe had woken up that morning, he thought he was likely going actually insane. He was flying out for work the next day, and instead of preparing, of packing, of seeing family and friends before he'd be off for a while - instead of all that, he showed up on the bookstore's doorstep at 10 am sharp. Right when Anne unlocked and opened the door. Just because that was where he wanted to be. He kind of already missed the store, even though he was right there.

Anticipatory nostalgia; Joe could feel it in his bones.

Instead of stepping aside and letting him in, she gave him a deadpan tired stare and waited for him to take the A-frame from her hands to put outside on the pavement.

Joe happily helped out. Said, "Good morning, sunshine!" all chipper and laughed when Anne looked like she had to try really hard not to vomit.

He'd called a good morning into the store, got a faint "Morning!" in reply from the backroom where you were making yourself a coffee, and found his ledge... empty.

Anne saw him look at the spot where he usually left the books that he was reading. You'd granted him that small little surface area of the store so you wouldn't have to keep putting his books back on the shelves, and so Joe wouldn't have to go looking for those same books again the next time he'd come in. A win win little ledge of excuses for Joe to return to your store. A real privilege, Joe thought.

Except he'd left books there.

He knew he did.

Where had they gone?

"I tidied." Anne said unsentimentally and challengingly looked at Joe over her mug as she took a sip of hot coffee.

She loved being a little shit and inconveniencing Joe wherever and whenever she could. Tidying the store was part of her job, and Joe knew if he was to complain, she'd have the upper hand, because what was he even really doing? The store wasn't a library, no matter how much he had starting treating it like one.

So instead, Joe used her inconvenient power move as an excuse to take his time to browse the whole store and took care to be in the exact wrong spot at the exact wrong time.

You secretly smiled every time you heard Anne sigh with frustration and heard her mutter, "Move!" under her breath before using a shoulder to push him aside. Every single time, Joe pretended he was totally oblivious. Would go, "Oh! Sorry! Was I in the way?" all innocently, but you could see how his mouth was fighting to keep his own smile hidden.

It took maybe forty minutes for Joe to have built up a little stack of books on the small sidetable next to your granddad's armchair in the window, and then Joe sat and read undisturbed for an hour and a half.

You loved it when Joe was in.

Just sat there.

Reading.

Absolutely engrossed in his own little world.

The faint feeling of envy was always overshadowed by the joy of being allowed to unashamedly stare at him from the counter, leant on both elbows.

You'd brought him a coffee after those 90 minutes of silent reading, and he'd given you a quick wink and a smile as a thank you.

Customers filtered in and out, and you went from moments of it just being Joe in the store to having eight people needing your attention simultaneously. It was both busy and not, and the switches in energy had left you in a weird spot mentally.

You hadn't realised you'd fully skipped lunch.

You'd seen Joe dart out for some pastries, and you'd ordered Anne to get her ass into the back to go and eat something, but you never followed up on your "I'll take my lunch after."

It was why, in a moment of quiet, you'd picked up a box of books from behind the counter that had sort of been in the way the whole morning, you been unsuccessfull.

Maybe you'd gotten up too fast.

Or maybe the box was just too heavy.

The entire thing had taken you down quicker than you'd been able to get it off the floor. It didn't help that the box was open. The reflex of your body became about making sure none of the books would tip out and hit you in the face, when the reflex should've been about cushioning your fall.

You shot no arms out.

You didn't drop the box.

You just... fell.

The weight of the box pushed the air straight from your lungs and left you gasping.

The back of your head had hit the wooden floorboards so hard, you immediately saw stars.

After impact, for a short moment, it was pin-drop silent. Anne froze, pausing for a moment, listening. She was waiting for you to go "I'm all right!", but that never came.

Joe was ripped from his book at the sound of the fall, but was confused. One moment you'd been there, and then now, you were gone.

When a soft wincing gasp was heard from where you were hidden form his view, he was on his feet in an instant, rounding the counter and finding you there on the floor, box of books heavy on your stomach, eyes completely glazed over as you rapidly blinked up at the ceiling in an attempt to erase the fuzzy bits in your vision.

"Oh my G– Anne!" Joe was quick to remove the box and the books that were tumbling out. "Breathe. Careful, don't move, just focus on breathing." Joe advised as he watched you struggle.

"What dropped?" Anne asked, getting closer now and trying to find the source of the whack.

"She did."

"I know she did, but what was that–"

"That was her." Joe tried to make eye-contact. "Hey, just breathe, all right? Are you hurt?"

The eye-contact failed, as did answering Joe's question.

You hadn't even properly heard him it felt like.

Anne and Joe shared a look, for a moment both unsure of what to do. Who was going to take the lead on this? Joe didn't work there, but Anne was a literal teenager.

Before they could even think of discussing a game plan, you incoherently asked through a constricted panicked voice if anyone had thought of the fire escape. They both turned to look at you, both faces frowning in confusion.

"Huh?"

"What was that?"

Joe and Anne spoke at the same time.

"I think I forgot. Are the bugs gone?" you winced as you moved a hand to where your head hurt, and Joe was quick in deciding he was going to have to be the one to call the shots on this. He'd clearly chosen to spend all day at the bookstore for a reason, so it seemed.

It took a little while for you to return to normal.

You babbled through some more disjointed chat whilst Joe carefully checked with his fingers if your head was bleeding. It wasn't, which was good. But you did wince in pain as he slowly felt around in your hair before you tried to sit up and take your shoes off.

Anne had to fight you back down onto the floor and sternly told you to relax whilst Joe slid his folded jacket underneath your head.

When your consciousness returned into the room, you were met by a girl sat by your side who was scrolling through concussion symptoms, and a guy stood up by your feet, talking to someone on the phone.

"What's going on?" You'd asked, and Anne had just casually said, "You fell."

Joe'd called your mum on your phone. Anne knew the code. Joe told himself he'd give her a stern talk about normal-people things like privacy later. Priorities lied elsewhere right now.

And then you'd thrown up into the box of books that had taken you down earlier.

Served it right, Joe thought.

Joe'd held your hair through it, and kept brushing back little pieces that kept falling into your face. His touches were so tender and gentle but they still hurt, and you were absolutely mortified. So fucking embarrassed. There was a fucking celebrity in the store and you were vomming into a box of books that, halfway through, got swapped for an empty bucket.

It smelled awful, and it probably was the most unattractive thing in the world.

You felt like the most unattractive thing in the world.

"Sorry you had to see that." you croaked when Anne handed you a glass of water to rinse your mouth.

"We think you're concussed."

Somehow, that made perfect sense.

"You took quite the tumble. The back of your head must be hurting."

You moved to sit with your back against a cupboard door, careful to not lean your head back too far, and Joe decided to stay put next to you. Keep an eye on you. Hold your hair back in case you weren't quite done throwing up yet.

Meanwhile, Anne had moved into the backroom and did her best in trying to save whatever books she could from where you'd thrown up over them.

"Do you have any pain anywhere else?"

You paused a second to focus on the feelings inside of your body, and then moved an arm to touch the opposite elbow.

"Your elbow? Are you bleeding?" Joe used a soft hand to move your arm so he could have a look. "Does it hurt a lot?" No broken skin. Joe hoped that maybe the blow he'd heard had been your elbow, and not your actual skull.

"Stop asking her a million questions!" Anne shouted from the back, like she hadn't been doing the exact same thing before.

"You'd tell me if you weren't okay, wouldn't you?" Joe's voice remained soft and warm for you. All kind and gentle.

For a moment, you just looked at him.

"Hi," he smiled, and he saw how you were trying to puzzle the situation together. "I'm Joe."

"I know who you are."

"Oh, that's great!" Joe exclaimed.

"Were you... did you happen to just be in here to buy books, or..."

Oh.

Not so great.

You knew who he was, but you didn't know who he was.

"Um, no, not really. I actually come in here a lot. I um... you let me hog one of the armchairs where I read books."

"You do?"

"Yea, it's awfully rude of me." Joe smiled. "But I'm lucky. You're very cool about it."

Joe could feel his chest swell at the faintest hint of a smile coming from you.

"He's your boyfriend." Anne bluntly interrupted as she stepped back into the storefront, and before you could even begin to process that wild bit of information, she added, "But not really. The two of you are... you're really weird about it."

It sounded like a weird joke, and you looked between the both of them to figure out what the punchline was, because you didn't get it.

Joe just smiled when you looked at him.

"She hates it."

"I do." Anne confirmed, walking across the store to move the sign on the door to 'closed'. Your mum was going to come by and pick you up to get your head checked and there was no way Anne wasn't going to go with.

Joe craned his head to watch Anne as she went to fetch the A-frame out front and then leant close and whispered, "We kind of like that she hates it."

That made you smile into your lap.

"Have you um..." you started, suddenly frowning. "Do you have a plaster for me?"

Joe's concern immediately grew again. He wasn't quite back where he was twenty minutes ago, when you'd laid right where he was sitting now, unable to catch your breath properly, but his eyes bulged like he was just as worried anyway.

"Why? Are you bleeding? Where?"

"I've not finished my homework."

"You've not..." Joe tried to make sense of something nonsensical before he realised he'd lost you again.

Joe wondered if he could let someone know he wasn't going to be able to leave the city tomorrow. Let alone the fucking country. The prospect of leaving you like this for a few weeks and having to actually do a job seemed impossible.

How was he not going to be thinking about you all the time?

To be fair, his life was already like that, a little.

But especially now; after all this, no one could expect him to not constantly worry if you were all right, could they?

"I don't think I've got any plasters for you, sorry."

"Oh," you seemed disappointed, but only for a second. "You bought Blindness from me."

There you were. Back again. God, he really did already miss you, even though you were right there.

"I did."

"You hadn't... you'd not read it, but you'd seen the film."

"I had."

"I remember."

"Read it in one day."

You'd likely be fine.

People got concussions all the time, didn't they?

"Sorry, I'm all over the place."

"You're not actually," Joe smiled. "You're right here."

Joe was going to leave the country tomorrow, and you'd stay with your mum until you'd be one hundred per cent again. You would keep the store closed, so there was no use in him hanging around anyway. And then, when you'd be all better, he'd pop back in on a random Tuesday morning without any warning, and then he could tell you all about today. You'd likely not remember a thing of it, all of it a lost moment to you, but one that he'd get to keep. Get to cherish. Get to share with you later.

"My head hurts..." you suddenly said like you'd only just realised it.

"Yea, you fell." Joe could go through this loop again, he didn't mind.

"I did?"

"Hmm, we think you're concussed. Your mum is coming to pick you up, have you checked out by a doctor to double check and make sure you're okay."

"We?"

Joe saw how you went to reach for the back of your head again, but before your fingers could disappear into your hair, the bell above the door chimed and Anne said, "No sign of her yet."

"That's Anne." Joe calmly explained, and then reached to grab hold of your hand, protecting you from touching your painful bits again. He'd make sure to hold it until your mum arrived.

Joe saw your eyes grow wide as you recognised him again, and smiled.

"And I'm Joe."

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson,

@choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn,

@dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee,

@figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4,

@hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke,

@lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr,

@munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories,

@phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn0628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420,

@songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73,

@werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn x Y/N #joe quinn x Y/N #icallhimjoey #bookstore!joe #like a poem #lost moments to keep

[wingsdippedingold]

My statement on ACOTAR characters

(unedited; really just a brain dump)

I know I use a lot of pro and anti tags when it comes to ACOTAR, and while I do have characters I like more than others, I really just dislike them as a whole. I think the series is poorly written and SJM is the one I actually hate.

I honestly can't really criticize or defend any character properly, because the characters themselves are just deficiently made. They all come from the same dumbass author. The main thing keeping me in the fandom are the actual people in it, because they have actual thoughts that make sense, and I find discussing the topics presened entertaining. So I don't wanna hear any "Well if you hate the books so much stop talking about them" bs

I don't hate Rhysand, in fact I think he has a lot of cool moments. I like the idea of him not bowing to anyone but his own people, so he got a knee tat of Velaris (even if I think its dorky). I enjoy his outlook on what's right, and I did genuinely like him early on. But I think the way SJM writes his actions (especially political ones) and their justifications incredibly disjointed poorly thought out. I think he's wrongfully used and justified and digs people into a bad way of thinking ethically because SJM has made no move to do anything but portray him as a white knight. Had the narrative acknowledge some of the things he's done as actually bad, in fact that most of them have bad outcomes for some even if they benefit others, I'd have no issue with him. SHe just writes him doing heinous things for reason and then is like "Oh but he's traumatized so its okay!"

I don't dislike Feyre, but I think she's often shoved into a backseat role in her own series. I know this is a multi-pov story, but seriously? How the fuck did SJM make Feyre's pregnancy climax to nothing more than more Nesta hate??? Why was her experience and thoughts just completely missing in the plot that literally revolved around her?? I find her flaws charming, and yet they're often forgotten or used to justify things that shouldn't be justified. I don't have any issue with her beyond the SC disaster. But, I think the fact that there's Feyre antis in general speaks to how bad of a writer SJM is. You can't even make people agree on liking your main fucking character? In fact most Feyre antis are Pro Nestas... which is ridiculous. How poorly do you have to write for people to pit sisters against each other WHEN YOUR MAIN TROPE IS FOUND FAMILY. The way SJM uses Feyre pisses me off endlessly

I think Feysand has its moments, and I don't hate anything about them specifically - but rather how they're presented and treated by the narrative. I think they make sense together, and I prefer them to Feylin, but I hate how SJM and fans bend over backward to justify everything.

I'm not a Nesta stan, I just think the narrative (and especially SF) is an injustice to real world issues and the logic used against her makes no sense in reference to the other characters. SJM says she loves her so much, but shows her none. I find the way the fandom treats her lacking empathy, and SJM has done nothing to actually better her character. I think its ridiculous no one acknowledge that she grew up in the same fucking cottage as Feyre with the same parents. SJM constantly dredges up new shit to pit her and Feyre against each other instead of just letting them be happy. She treats Nesta like she's irredeemable, and when she does "redeem" herself its literally in service to the people who are forcing her to fix herself??? She's used as a point for juvenile drama and placed in a cycle of being antagonized with no outlet to place blame. See my full thoughts on her here

I don't actually despise the ic, I think they all are just wasted and thrown into whatever whirlwind situation gives SJM a boner. I think Morrigan had so much potential, but SJM decided it would be better to use her for petty drama and forwarding a ship. I don't hate her because she doesn't do anything for the woman in the CoN, because quite frankly I don't think SJM has thought that far. I don't think Cassian's the worst man alive, but I think SJM has a poor grasp on him and what a healthy relationship (even in the bounds of a fantasy novel) is. And I just find Azriel particularly useless, he's not a thoughtful sensitive soul, he's just yet to be focused on. And I do not look forwards to the day he is, based on his first and only current pov.

I'm not a Tamlin stan, in fact I really don't care for his character, but I think he suffers from lazy writing and some severe character assassination. I think the switch up on his character after the first book is absolutely ridiculous.

I dislike how SJM throws Elain around and treats her like a little precious baby and making her out to be an airhead whos absolved from the same crimes Nesta's hated for.

I'm not an SJM fan, I'm an avid SJM hater. I actually despise her, and while I won't write out my entire long list of grievances with her here, just know that literally all of my issues with the series would be gone if she was just a better person and writer. Seriously, I think she lacks so much mechanical and analytical skill (which is crazy, she's been publishing books for 12+ years and written like 15) and I see no change in the future. She constantly retcons, switches characters up for whatever her narrative calls for, and sacrifices good character writing for a fast track to mediocre faerie smut.

I hate the way she sexualized Feyre's experience under the mountain. I hate the way she immediately objectified Feyre when she got pregnant (the blurb describing Feyre walking around while pregnant is insanely kinky and I hate it). I hate the way she throws around trauma and mental illness like cute little stickers so that she can pick and choose the aspects she thinks are cool. I hate that she's fucked up people's perception of abuse and mental illness. I hate the way she uses poc and steals credit for representation she didn't care to make. This isn't even all of it, its just what I can remember within the 9 minutes I spent writing this brain dump. SJM does not deserve more of my time 😭

If I was a character in the series I genuinely think I'd avoid all of them, because I don't care, and if I somehow did have to be cornered with any of them, I'd hate all of them. But If I ever faced up with the mother (aka Sarah), it'd be on sight. My hatred for her knows no bounds. Hate is a strong word, and one I used so many times in this post (something SJM does a lot too though, so I'm not worried, seriously get a thesaurus and stop using the same phrases every 6 pages) because it's true.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti sarah j maas #sjm critical #rhysand #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #tamlin

[nalyra-dreaming]

As a book reader, does the show still manage to surprise you? I understand that it's an adaptation but the entire cast,writers and producers keep saying that it's faithful to the books, so I'm wondering if anyone who has read all the books can be surprised or amazed by these stories.

Of course the show is amazing but it's like me watching Harry Potter and already knowing Sirius Black is not trying to really kill Harry..sorry for the spoiler.

(All good, I did watch and have read HP ... back then.)

Oh absolutely.

The show is its own thing - and then again not, because the books permeate it. The language, the characters, the world.

FOR ME - it's the experience of it coming to life. Oh, I know what will happen in emotional big story points - but the rest? I LOVE the little changes, the hints, the insinuations. The way it is remixed.

Actually that's half the fun for me, to see what they remix and how, and to speculate how the puzzle will come together.

And the meta level? Astonishing. The color-conscious implementation? Brilliant. The foreshadowing and callbacks and parallels - ingenious. The casting and acting - superb.

It's not an easy show either, and I adore that. Not kidding.

I had not hoped for this to become a show like that.

Show of the decade, imho.

So yes, it does manage to surprise me - but not to ... surprise me, if that makes sense. I don't see it all coming - but when it does? It suddenly makes so much sense! Just brilliant^^

#Anonymous #ask nalyra #show of the decade #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #interview with the vampire

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: "My Buddie Crack Theory"

Since the finale airs tonight, I decided I'm finally ready to share my theory with details.

Question: What is "My Buddie Crack Theory"?

Answer: Buck's still in his coma dream.

I've included the details below the cut but please note, if he is still in his coma dream, it's NOT A NEW CONCEPT because it's been done on network TV before. (Details about the TV show "Dallas" and the main character "Bobby Ewing" are below the cut.

After season 6 ended, I read a post on 911blr that contained a screen shot from the show's IG page and it included a statement from someone who works on the show. It indicated season 6 was an "experiment" and it piqued my curiosity because I remembered reading about a TV show that did something similar in the 1980s. If it's true and KR was doing an experiment, then, it's possible 9-1-1 is doing something similar with Buck's coma dream.

In 1986, a procedural drama, "Dallas" did it with one of their main characters. The gist of it is, after main character "Bobby Ewing" was killed in a car accident at the end of season 8, he came back in season 10 because one of the actors who was still on the show asked the actor who played "Bobby" to come back because their ratings dropped. He agreed and the writers retconned the entirety of season 9 and turned it into a dream sequence for Pamela, Bobby's wife. Supposedly, she dreamed everything that happened before she woke up in 10x1 and when she walked into the bathroom, he was in there taking a shower 🙄. ISTG this is true and I know it's soapy and weird but here's a link to one of the articles that discusses it (Dallas).

How does this relate to 9-1-1? Well, it relates because since the beginning of season 7, there have been many indications in the interviews from the main cast about the possibility that TM is retconning seasons 5 & 6 and doing a mirror image or carbon copy of season 4 so he can get the main characters back to the point they were at in 4x14 (Buddie and Bathena). It's when he left OG in the hands of KR since F*X wouldn't allow Buck and Eddie to go CANON.

Before I delve into this, I need to make three points. First, I'm not making this about one specific character because the show already did that so please if you're going to be salty about it, please don't read this. If the things I've identified are correct then, that's on 9-1-1 and their writers. Second, these are my interpretations and observations of all the off kilter, retconned and unhinged things I've noticed since last season. Third and finally, when the season is looked at as a whole, it appears Buck still being in a coma is the only thing that makes sense.

Disclaimer: No one has to agree with my theory and please understand I'm not asking anyone to. The purpose of me doing this post now is because I wanted to wait until just before the season ends before I posted it because I wanted to see if the trend would continue and it has, for me at least. My theory could be right and it could be wrong but the point is someone else may have a difference of opinion and if they do, it's perfectly ok because two people's opinions can co-exist.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

Several things happened in seasons 6 and 7 that caused me to believe Buck's still in his coma dream and since the beginning of season 7, I've felt like all the mains have been acting OOC at different points and their actions have been off in someway or another. I'm not the only one who noticed it and there have been viewers who've commented on this topic in post-mortem articles and on social media. When I looked at the entirety of 6B and season 7, IMO, it seems like everything is being told from one character's POV, i.e., Buck's. It's a flawed and skewed one that in order to understand, one has to go back to review the details in 6x11.

After 6x9 aired, to me it seemed like Buck and Eddie were already together in a romantic relationship but Buck got struck by lightning and it halted everything. If they were, then everything about Buck still being in a coma makes even more sense and it explains their actions.

Here's a brief summary of 6x11: It appears Buck woke up TWICE in his coma dream and the first time he did, he was talking to Daniel but the first person he remembered from his life was EDDIE. After Daniel told him the next time he climbed a ladder, he should be sure there was someone available to have his back to which he responded, "I did". Reminder, after his brief flashback, Eddie wasn't included in Buck's coma dream anymore in season 6. I think the second time he woke up was when he was talking to Maddie before the 118 entered his room. Also, while he was playing gin with Bobby, Bobby told him he couldn't believe Buck returned from a world where he could fix everything but he replied, "Not everything."

I think he was still in his coma but he thought he woke up and when he had a coffee date with Natalia, he told her, "I woke up in a world that was both everything and nothing I ever wanted it to be" and other than the two things he told Maddie in 6x12 (included below), that's all the audience heard about his dream.

Now, in season 7, Eddie's the ONLY person Buck keeps thinking and talking about non-stop which could mean he's still in his coma but this time he's seeing his romantic life. Reminder, he was confused in 7x4 about whose attention he was trying to get but the viewers knew it was Eddie. Additionally, everything that happened in his dream has come to pass in some form or another but it's possible it might not be real.

Maddie and Chimney got married in 7x6 but it wasn't the wedding Chimney described to the team in 6x16 they were planning before he proposed. In his dream, he told Chimney they should get married because they already had a kid and a house.

Bobby retired and he died (temporarily) in 7x9 which both of those things happening have always been part of Buck's biggest fears. In 3x10, he told Bobby he's one of the most important people in his life and in 6x11, Bobby being Buck's found dad was CANONIZED by May Grant. Reminder, Bobby was dead in Buck's coma dream when he was talking to him.

In 7x10, it's possible the 118 might get split up (hopefully they won't but with Ortiz and Gerard around 🙄 who knows what's going to happen) and that's another thing that scares Buck, him losing his family. In 3x16 he was worried about them being split up and he worried about it again in 6x5 during Hen's medical school party.

In 6x11, when he was running towards his hospital room, he ran past Chris but Chris asked him to help him find his dad but Buck told him he wasn't real but the truth is he was (related post).

After he woke up the second time, the audience didn't see Buck's recovery from him being depressed and everything they did show was kind of off but not so much that it would be noticeable. The conversation Buck and Eddie had in 6x15 in the cemetery in front of Marie's grave was interesting and that's when Buck admitted he felt like he had to be the same old Buck mostly for the sake of everyone else. Viewers who watched the last few episodes of 6B remember what a cluster "F" they were and several recurring characters acted OOC too.

Now let's fast-forward to season 7.

I've been posting about my theory since the end of season 6 but I really dialed into it after 7x1 aired because the timeline Athena stated surrounding when Bobby purchased their cruise tickets was OFF. For those who watched 5x18, they know Bobby purchased the tickets then but their trip got delayed at the end of 6x1 after Athena's father had a stroke. But in 7x1, her scene with Frank started with "Two months ago" then she said, "Last week, my husband... he did something, he... booked us on a cruise". Why is this a problem? It's an issue because the TIMING IS OFF. For Athena's timeline to be accurate, seasons 5 & 6 wouldn't exist since Bobby actually booked the cruise in 5x18 which happened more than a year before they left.

Additionally, all of Buck's biggest fears are being addressed in season 7 and they're happening one right after the other.

Bobby retiring (mentioned above).

Bobby dying (mentioned above).

The 118 being split up (mentioned above).

In 7x10, it appears the Diaz parents might be taking Chris from Eddie and moving him (hopefully temporarily to El Paso). In Buck's coma dream, he was worried that Eddie lost Chris because he wasn't there to introduce him to Carla (she hasn't been mentioned once this season - related post).

The sun setting behind Eddie and Buck in scenes during season 7 are also part of this because in 6x12, Buck told Maddie, "For some reason, it's never nighttime in my coma dream". IMO, it appears Buck's running out of time to figure things out and it's possible he just might by the end of the finale, that is if the narrative continues.

Furthermore, NONE of the things that happened to Buck in season 6 have been addressed in season 7 and they remain unresolved (related post). There hasn't been any mention of the sperm donation, the baby, his quest for captaincy, his recovery from being struck by lightning and he never had a breakdown, even though he's well overdue for one. It's kind of like everything that happened wasn't addressed on purpose and before 7x1 aired, in an interview, TM said he didn't want Buck focusing on all the stuff that happened in season 6 because he wants to be happy.

I'm including a lot of one-offs that happened to add credence to my theory. Before reading the items below, don't forget, Buck is Midge in the movie "Vertigo" and she was waiting for Scottie (Eddie) to move on from his deceased wife. Well, isn't that what Buck's kind of doing now with Eddie? YES!

I think Marisol doesn't have a last name because Buck doesn't know what it is. He met her in 6x5 the same time Eddie did and when they went back to her house, I don't think he was worried about her and Eddie dating later on. However, I do think she's the only woman Buck could think of since she was the only one he saw Eddie with before he got struck by lightning. Eddie didn't mention Buck to Felisa in 6x7 when he told her about Shannon dying and Chris getting caught in the Tsunami even though everyone knows Chris was with Buck that day. Also, Buck never met Vanessa in 6x14 since Pepa introduced her to Eddie and it was after the lightning strike anyway. It appears Marisol was the only woman he could think of that Eddie might end up dating. Eddie's never said her last name either which is suspicious. Reminder, Eddie used to say "Ana Flores" all the time which means he knew her full name.

In 7x1, Eddie said, "Welcome back to the land of the living Buck, you were truly missed". It was an odd comment because they were still working together and if they saw each other every shift, why would he say it like that? It seems like he's still waiting on him to wake up.

In 7x4, Buck told Tommy, "I haven't had this much fun since the night I got struck by lightning." 👀 IIRC, that night wasn't fun for anyone especially him, so it was a strange comment for him to make and when Tommy asked him about it, he replied, "I'm just using it as a point of reference." Therefore, it seems like the show wanted the audience to remember Buck was in a coma and it's possible he still is.

In 7x9, Tommy said it had been 5 years since he left the 118 which was WRONG because he left before Buck started which happened 7 years ago. It's another weird timing discrepancy but I think it was included for a reason and it relates to Buck and Eddie. It appears Buck was once again confusing his feelings for Eddie with Tommy since later in the same episode, Eddie told Kim it had been 5 years since his wife died but if the math is done, it's also been 5 years for Eddie working at the 118. Reminder, he quit in December 2021 and he didn't return until May 2022. Therefore, Buck's known Eddie for 6 years but Eddie's only been at the 118 for 5.5 years.

IMO, Buck's encounter with Kim in 7x9 was him coming face to face with his worst fear (related post) and it involves the way he believes he'll never be able to measure up to Eddie's first spouse, even though the audience knows he's fulfilled the role as coparent in Eddie's life since 2x4 when he stepped in and helped Eddie find childcare for Chris.

The retconned ages in season 6 have continued to be up for debate but I think while in his coma dream, Buck got Eddie's, Shannon's and Denny's and his own ages wrong and I think the show made a point to highlight them because if TM really is retconning the last two seasons, then it's true, Buck would be 30 years old since he was 29 in 4x5 and it's possible he would have had a birthday before 4x13 aired (if the show was on their normal schedule). They've never stated Eddie's age so who knows how old he is.

It's possible Tommy's a figment of Buck's imagination especially since he's so much like Eddie.

Kim's comment to Buck in 7x9 about how the firehouse looks bigger in person than it does on FaceTime was a direct callback to season 2 when Buck slide down the fireman's pole and walked up behind Eddie after he had just finished a FaceTime call with Shannon. Buck told him he should ask Bobby for a discount when Eddie asked him if he thought they'd have to get married again (Buck was being petty).

Now if 9-1-1 is planning to retcon seasons 5 and 6 within Buck's' coma dream, then everything makes perfect sense because in 6x11 and in 7x4, one thing was clear, IT WAS ALL BEING TOLD FROM BUCK'S POV which everyone knows was flawed. Even TM admitted Buck wasn't seeing what he thought he saw because it was from his point of view. Buck remembered things that didn't happen the way he thought they did in his coma dream. One of them includes him believing he saved Bobby but the truth is he didn't because Chimney did when he took Bobby to meet a couple whose baby was saved after they got a blood transfusion with Bobby's blood in season 1. Also, Buck's memory was so jacked up that he thought Eddie wouldn't have been able to stay at the 118 if he hadn't introduced him to Carla. He also believed Eddie would have had to fight his parents to keep custody of Chris which was WRONG for two reasons. First, Eddie will sacrifice anything for Chris and second, Bobby RECRUITED Eddie and convinced him to join the 118 instead of station 6. So logically, if Bobby would have been dead from the plane crash in season 1, Eddie NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN AT THE 118 BECAUSE BOBBY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE TO RECRUIT HIM. It also means Hen and Chimney wouldn't have met Eddie; therefore they wouldn't have known he had a son.

If 7x10 ends with Buck waking up from his coma and him remembering he's already in a relationship with Eddie, I won't be surprised because that's what the narrative was showing in season 6. Also, AB and MJW both said, "Something biblical was going to happen in the finale" and the only thing I can think of is Buck coming out of his coma.

Can the narrative change, of course it can and it has several times over this season alone with last minute scripts and storylines but hopefully, this season will end on a good note because IMO, it's been underwhelming thus far.

With regards to Buck and Eddie, I think TM (showrunner) has done his best to confuse viewers this entire season so they won't see what's coming. I'll admit, I might be completely off base with "My Buddie Crack Theory" and none of the mishaps that I've identified mean anything but it's also possible they could mean everything. Tonight's episode will tell the tale so I'm curious to see how it will all turn out.

Hopefully, it has all been a dream and Buck and Eddie will end the season together in preparation for season 8.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #911 meta #911 speculation #911 spoilers #anti marisol #anti eddiemarisol #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #anti bummy #marisol nolastname

[66sharkteeth]

HIIII omg i am a H U G E fan of you and cob! cob is literally my favorite webtoon ever.... its not enough to just read it, i feel like i need to be enveloped in it (if that even makes sense 😭) every episode literally leaves me shaking with adrenilineeeEEEEE!! (side note i dont have a question i j wanted some way to communicate to you and im sorta new to tumblr so idk any other way lmfao) i literally talk about cob atleast once a day. at this point its an addiction lmfaoo

ive noticed that your tumblr posts are so sad and frustrated recently and i wish there was some way i could help :( if you ever wanted to share ocs or just talk im here and im sure all of your fans would appreciate your art too! maybe you could make another tumblr acct devoted to ocs - ik id definitely follow it immediately :D

also if you decided to take a mental health hiatus your fans wouldnt mind and would in fact encourage it! (ok sure wed be upset cause cob is SO GOOD but overall health is more important!!!) and youd also have more time to work on ocs and to just relax and think about yourslef for once (AND TO NOT LOOK AT THE MEAN COMMENTS ON UR POSTS FROM JEALOUS MEAN PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN CRITICIZE PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER THAN THEM >:( )

also side note but the more popular you are the more haters you have...its just statistics! so in some twisted overly optimistic way its actually a positive 😉 anyway those ppl r just jealous and have terrible taste.

anyway idk where this is going im j rambling at this point but idk i obviously know barely anything about you but what i can inference from ur posts is that you seriously need a break!!!!! we love cob ofc but we love the health of the creater (YOU) more!!! and if you ever want to talk to anyone or to share ocs youre exited about you can always reach out to me or anything :DDDDD or like anyone you know in real life too lmfaooo--

so uh idk how to end this....so BYE YOURE AWESOME YOURE SLAYING <3333333333

lol you're too sweet! i appreciate every word.

tho unfortunately, taking breaks aren't that easy, since when i don't make episodes, i just don't make money. besides, i actually don't mind the workload that much? it's everything...outside of working that seems to bum me out haha. i kind of like turning off my brain for 10 hours each day to draw episodes. usually when i'm sad, it's after work when that distraction is gone.

also, i do post more freely here already as is! i tend to be a bit more selective about what i share on twitter and IG, but since like 20 people follow me here, i'm a bit more open and share more things, both personal and CoB/OC related lol. i just haven't had a ton to share lately outside of text essays and answering asks.