Laudna starts to lean into her side at the table as the shadows lengthen and the Spire by Fire empties of customers for the night.
It’s happened hundreds of times before, when Laudna has been tired, but Imogen is hyper aware, now, of the way Laudna’s pinky finger is pressed against Imogen’s thigh where she has her hand on the bench between them, how occasionally Laudna catches her eye and the corner of her mouth quirks up into a secret smile just for her, how they’d told Zhudanna they’d come back to her house for the night.
Ashton and Letters have started up again, about faith and the gods and a million other things Imogen can’t think about right now, because her brain got stuck, hours ago, on the feel of Laudna’s lips against her own.
She lifts a hand to press her fingers against her lips, remembering. Orym catches her eye and she pretends she's stifling a yawn instead. “Maybe we could pick this up in the morning,” he says, cutting across FCG. “The existential questions won’t go away. We should get some rest.”
Laudna nods and Imogen feels Laudna’s hair against her shoulder before Laudna stands up, and then turns to offer her hand to Imogen. It makes something ache inside Imogen as she takes it at once.
Out of the corner of her eye, Imogen thinks she sees Orym watching them before he looks away quickly.
“I hope we won’t wake Zhudanna,” Laudna says, once their fingers are safely tangled together.
Fearne pauses where she’s climbing out of her seat, and Imogen thinks she sees a frown crease her forehead. “We’re not splitting up again.”
It’s final, the way Fearne says it, and Imogen gets it, she does, but.
Laudna just sways on her feet for a second, blinking sleepily. Imogen wonders what she’s thinking; if she wants to be alone with Imogen, if she was counting on it, too. She considers linking her mind with Laudna’s, and whispering a secret message just for her, but she’d promised herself she’d use her words if she ever found Laudna again, so she swallows instead.
“We’ll be safe there—” Imogen tries, but Ashton is looking at them too, now, unreadable expression on their face.
“We’ve got separate rooms,” Ashton says, voice pitched a little low, like they don’t want the others to hear. “I assumed you two would take one.”
Laudna’s hand tightens in hers for a second.
“All right,” Imogen says, heartbeat fluttering in her chest, and follows everyone else up the stairs.
//
Before they go inside the door Ashton points out to them, Imogen watches Ashton catch Laudna's eye. There's a question in their eyes and Laudna nods, just a tiny lift of her chin before she drops it again, and Imogen sees Ashton smile before they duck inside their room.
She presses her fingers against her temple out of habit, searching for thoughts that aren't there, before she drops her hand down to her side.
//
Laudna crosses the room to the bed once they're inside, and sits down on the edge of it to start to kick her boots off, but Imogen just hovers by the door, unsure all of a sudden, what exactly she’s supposed to do.
Laudna toes out of one boot and then the other like she has a million times before, apparently unconcerned. She shrugs out of the birdhouse backpack she’s made, and puts it down carefully on the chest of drawers in the corner so the entryway where Pate comes and goes is facing away from the bed.
Something about that makes Imogen want to blush furiously, and she hopes it doesn’t show on her face.
Laudna turns around, and then frowns, like she’s realised Imogen isn’t going about her usual bed-time routine.
“Are you all right, darling?” Laudna asks, softly, and Imogen does feel her cheeks flush then.
“I—I’m sorry,” she says at once. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to share the— I’m not expecting anything, Laudna. We can go as slow or as fast as you want. B-but if you’ve changed your mind, or don’t want me here, I can— I could share with someone else…” She trails off, and twists her fingers together helplessly.
There’s a part of her that still doesn’t believe this is real, and she sees Laudna’s shoulders slump a little, her brow furrowing as she looks at her. “Imogen,” she says, voice low, and Imogen can’t meet her eyes.
She thinks about how she’d felt, all those days with Fearne and Chet and FCG, watching them with Deanna and FRIDA and feeling so alone, not knowing if Laudna was okay. She swallows, wondering how she’ll ever be able to tell Laudna exactly what it was like for her when Laudna had it so much worse.
Laudna’s hands still, and she just looks at Imogen for a long moment, her eyes dark and soft in the low light of the room.
The silence stretches between them, so different to what Imogen has been used to her whole life.
"What are you thinking?" Imogen forces herself to ask, the words tumbling out of her mouth.
“I think—” Laudna hesitates, and Imogen is sure, for one horrible second, that Laudna really is going to tell her she made a mistake and that Imogen should go, that it would be easier if things went back to the way they were, but then Laudna sucks in a shaky breath, “—we can figure all of,” Laudna’s eyes slip over to Pate’s birdhouse and back, “that out, together.” She holds out a hand, inviting. “But for now, please come here.”
It’s all she needed, and something that had been clenched tight inside her releases all at once. Imogen crosses the room and takes Laudna’s hand. After a second, Laudna tugs, and Imogen sinks down onto the bed next to her.
Laudna’s fingers are always cold, and Imogen wraps her hands around them, as if she could warm them up.
“I slept terribly without you,” Laudna says, softly, almost a confession. “I didn’t realise I would until you weren’t there.”
“Me too.” Imogen strokes her thumb against the back of Laudna’s hand. Both times, she thinks quickly, when Otohan— and when they got separated.
Laudna smiles, and nods, almost like she’s made a decision. “I’m going to kiss you now,” she says, and something flips over low in Imogen’s belly. “And then we’re going to get some sleep.”
“All right,” Imogen breathes, but Laudna is already coming closer, her eyes closing as the distance shrinks between them.
Laudna has to dip her head a bit—even when they’re sitting she’s taller—and her hand comes up to the hinge of Imogen’s jaw as Imogen leans up to meet her. Laudna’s mouth is cool against hers, but warmth floods through Imogen anyway.
Their kisses at the market were fairly chaste, but this one feels a little different; Laudna’s mouth open against hers, Laudna’s forehead and nose pressed against her like she doesn’t want there to be any distance between them. It’s still soft and sweet, gentle, like Laudna is being careful, and Imogen wonders at that, that Laudna thinks she’s something to be careful with.
Laudna makes a soft noise in the back of her throat and Imogen sighs into the next kiss, feeling Laudna smiling against her mouth, before they break apart.
Somehow it's even better than all the times she imagined it.
When she opens her eyes, there’s a faint pink flush on Laudna’s usually pale cheeks. She looks even more beautiful than she usually does, and Imogen can’t stop herself from grinning.
After a second, Laudna’s lips quirk up into a smile too. “I know,” she says conspiratorially, as if they’re still listening to each other’s thoughts, and Imogen laughs.
//
They settle down on their backs side by side in the bed, elbows bumping together.
After a second, Laudna's foot nudges against hers, and Imogen turns her head to find Laudna looking at her.
"I am sorry about being angry this morning," Laudna says, slowly. "It just felt like… like we had very different experiences and after what happened with Bor'dor I just—it was hard."
"I know," she says at once, "I get it. You had every right to be angry. I'm so sorry for what happened to you." She means it, and hopes Laudna can hear the sincerity in her voice. "Whenever you want to talk about it, I'm here."
Laudna nods and reaches for Imogen's hand. She plays with Imogen's fingertips for a moment, then, "Will you tell me what happened to you? I wasn't ready to hear it this morning."
"All right." Imogen swallows, and rolls over onto her side so she can face Laudna, but doesn't let go of her hand. For a second, she wonders where to start before she settles on the most important truth. "I missed you every second of every day, and all I wanted was to get back to you. I was so scared something bad had happened to you." Laudna's fingers tighten in hers. "I kept trying to send to you, but it wouldn't work, it just kept hurting my head, and we couldn't teleport back and… it was awful. Everyone else might have had moments of happiness but I didn't. Not without you."
Laudna just looks at her, her expression softening. Imogen shrugs, helplessly, not sure what else she can say.
"We're back together now," Laudna says, using a finger to tilt Imogen's chin up and meet her eyes. "Let's not get separated again." It hitches up at the end, almost like a question and it makes Imogen want to laugh, because if it was up to her they would never be further apart than this for the rest of their lives.
"No," she agrees quickly. She can feel the ring she'd given to Laudna months ago against her skin where their hands meet, "never again."
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