#i dont love myself

[i-want-that-hi-fever]

song + characters that make me feel like i’m looking in a mirror

frances ha (2012) // a lot’s gonna change by weyes blood // euphoria (2019-) // girls just wanna have fun by bladee & ecco2k // may (2002) // both all the time by faye webster // mysterious skin (2004) // would’ve, could’ve, should’ve by taylor swift // raw (2016) // midnight surf by the velveteins

#web weaving #meeee :333 #i dont love myself #me when im- *gun shot* #movies and lyrics

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up #but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex #even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass #im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex #it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[godbirdart]

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

#had to censor one solely bc its a super local restaurant and i dont wanna doxx myself lmao #but i Love this

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area #so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying #even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations #now things are more calmed but damn #mind your own bussiness #i believe she knows more about herself than you #sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind #insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about” #or because they “just have to wait for the right person” #or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something” #i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself #and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #acespec

[soldrawss]

*holds face tenderly*

#my art #toh #the owl house #toh hunter #toh willow #toh gus #toh huntlow #huntlow #toh winter #ive been so good about commissions that i drew something so self indulgent #as a treat to myself #dont worry shes ok #just got elbowed to the face and her glasses broke #just wanted to draw hunter worried #love me a boy that cares SO MUCH #might do a part 2

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley

#every1 in the notes asking me why I made this 🙄 art isn’t about why! it’s about why not! why don’t you marry safe art if you love it so much #i got a better shirt for him eventually but i dont have a pic of it #roleplaying as him was the only way i was finally able to bring myself to do joja route #no country for old men #stardew valley #i like to think of him as being magically stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time and trying to survive w/o murdering the whole tow #anton chigurh #marnie stardew valley #i better not see ANY marnie slander!!! #how do u tag them #stardew valley marnie #sdv marnie #morris stardew valley #sdv morris #stardew valley morris #i was not gonna romance anyone obviously but i really enjoyed drawing that pic of him w morris so i got the marry morris mod and it is so #goddamn funny. just the idea of. anton chigurh x morris. me and friends r having the time of our life with it. i even made fanart. #which i may post later if i feel like it #my art #fanart #ncfom

[orchita]

.

#the thing is i never feel like im enough either for myself or anyone #i have such high expectations for myself and i expect other people to hold me to them #but im learning to accept myself for who i am #and for the first time i have decided that i want to actually like myself #i have come so far from being a sheltered abused baby to a confused twenty something and im finally seeing myself for who i am #and i dont really like her still #but shes growing on me #i am a strong person and somehow kind #and the evil thoughts in my head dont define me #and even though im still partially in the closet and a bit of a stick in the mud #im enough #and people who dont accept me can fuck off #and that includes myself #i have come so far and i still have so much to go and more people to meet and to love and to learn from #this has been inspired by the sports league im playing on as well as my therapist #im not happy #i dont love myself #but i believe that i can achieve those things with time #my 20s have been all about processing my childhood and learning how to heal my broken heart #and im fucking doing it #im so proud of myself #and i know that ill find people in life who will support me and love me as i am #im honestly amazed by myself right now #thank you therapy and for the kindness of other people #the words that ryan said to me tonight will live in my heart forever ❤️ #the kindess of others has saved my many times in my life #be kind #thats really the only thing that makes life worth living #ramblings

[spookberry]

Theyre like .2 seconds away from getting yelled at for sitting on some zombies grave

#god theyre so in love and i drew this so incredibly im so impressed with myself #and also kinda obsessed with them #monster high #toradeen #mh g3 #toralei stripe #clawdeen wolf #im also currently obsessed with refresh clawdeen people just dont get her #shes so beautiful to me #my art #fanart

[obsob]

despite, despite, despite!!

#mine #original #fun fact when i first started colouring this i like couldnt remember what th trans flag looked like #i just like. did it then was like . hmm. that is the flag of slovakia i think #anyway #i missed tdov by a mile but. hello #i missed th day bc i was at my bfs house. thats t4t love baby #i hope u hve all had a good easter!! #thank u to everyone who inquired abt commissions i am surprised abt th amount of interest!! #when this batch is done i will open more. will probably b a regular thing :3 #i will now do exercise and have a bath i thinky #i need to make myself read this book...im so not use to horror anytime i read anything remotely unsettling im like oohoohohohmmhhmm n #dont read for like. 4 days #ive read like 200 pages in 10 days KSFBSBJ get a GRIP #anyway. good evening

[i-hopesomebodyislistening]

I'm reading Choices, and i just wanna cry

#choices #jegulus #starchaser #i wanna cry #jegulus fanfiction #starchaser fanfic #i dont love myself #the marauders

[isjasz]

[Day 182]

Grian mentions Hollow Knight on phasmo stream and gave it a 10/10 the crowd goes wild HOLLOW KNIGHT AU LETSGOOOOOOOOOOO

Inspired from this!

#dddaily4sherin #grian #pearlescentmoon #goodtimeswithscar #isdoodles #i love pearl hornet sm SHES SO #I still dont know the full lore tho btw im watching the gameplay as we speak o7 #(wanted to try beating it myself but immediately caved after tdy LOL) #HOLLOW KNIGHT YEAHHHHHHH #BUGS!!!!!!!!!!! #also yeah sorry i lied abt day 181 BSADHhhd IT WILL BE FINISHED SOMETIME PROMISE!! :) #hermit knight au #EDIT BARGES IN THE DOOR WE ARE CALLING THIS AU HERMIT KNIGHT #SHOUT OUT TO THAT ONE PERSON IN THE TAGS ON THIS POST!!!!

[mackinnon-drouin]

i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters

#everyone's superiority complex about this post is so annoying #'not me op!!! im perfect and fall in love with ever female character!!!' didnt ask did i AND i dont believe you #we all have internalized misogyny and should examine it whenever confronted with it #i do too!! sometimes i have to ask myself 'is this character actually annoying or is she a woman' and results vary!

[love4hobi]

The things you do are impressive. Who would work so hard to capture street dance like this? Who does that?

HOPE ON THE STREET EP.2

#bts #hoseok #jhope #hobi #btsgif #btsedit #dailybts #usersky #annietrack #userines #* #i know someone already kinda giffed this but i dont care #this is so important to me #i love when he gets showered with praise against his will #'who does that' is right!!! i ask myself that same thing all the time #like its so crazy that literally everyone he meets talks about how kind and humble and hard working and amazing he is #u dont have to wonder with him its all in the testimonials!

[newttxt]

launching a rescue mission!

from utilities included, ch. 8

masterpost

#one piece #sanji #zoro #zosan #nami #usopp #helmeppo #koby #bartolomeo #other ppl but theyre just cameos #utilities included #DONT draw crowds. i suffered. i cannot explain. i didnt even detail that many crowd ppl but i was fighting for my life the whole time #blood sweat and tears. ill be complaining about this one for a while #BUT. IM SO HAPPY WITH IT?! #shoutout to emmie for helping me with the barto pose #and shoutout to bege for bringing a whole infant to a rager. my favorite detail that i added to please myself #anyway i learned i love drawing koby and barto

[lilybug-02]

This has happened to me way too many times for it be normal.

#i love my fellow authors and creators. I really do. but OH MY GOD. #please #tag that shit #or just maybe.... dont do that??? hmmmm #bro i cant #i would love to blame myself in that maybe I just ignored the warnings- but like....usually its a very chill vibe #and then BAM. I see something I should not have ever seen. #anyways.... #bread #bread comics #my art #mini comic