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#i dont want to be alone but i dont want people to drown with me
knyontop · 1 day
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I already requested something similar to somebody else but whatever- Could i have some creeps (maybe include Ben, Sally, Toby and Ej) with a new preteen proxy?? And the kid is obviously always tired/sleepy and somewhat depressed. Reader is also just really shy and nervous around people (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE OLDER THAN HER BECAUSE SHE OVERTHINKS AND DOESNT WANT TO MAKE A BAD IMPRESSION). And because of all this theyre really timid dont have any friends and just observes instead? (Whenever theyre alone they talk to themselves but nobody hopefully knows that <3) Theyre really intrested in others but theyre just scared and a loser. (also likes to keep things to themselves so hardly ever opens up) They only talk when being asked a question but when reader didnt understand them clearly they dont ask the other to repeat themselves but just stand like stupid literally the definition of awkward. Very isolant, overfriendly, nervous, silent and obedient. Will listen to you because they want to do a good impression. Oh youre hungry and want food? The kid will bring some snacks if you ask. (Theyre just a lonely scared kid who is trying to do their job correctly and fit in) sorry for yapping :c
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AWH DW ITS OKAY YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT AND MAKE IT PARAGRAPHS!!
Creepypasta x Child!reader
Ft: Ben drowned, Jeff the killer, sally willaims, eyeless jack, ticci toby, and our amazing, beautiful, handsome, reader.
Ben:
・as soon as he meets you he knows your an easy target for shit.
・he likes to fuck with your mind a lot.
・he sometimes feels bad about it because of how vulnerable you are, he has sadistic instincts and protective instincts about you.
・The more Ben hangs around you he starts to town down his mind games.
・he is practically your shadow.
・Ben also likes to teach you how to play games!
・Hes also starting to feel bad when he says thing like “What makes you think I care about you? Your so silly.” Because he sees how upset you get he then apologizes with a “Kid I didn’t mean it you dummy.” (Dw he means dummmy lovingly)
・he likes to think of you as his side kick.
・”Y/N, dont worry ‘bout jeff he dont mean it.”
EJ:
・when he first saw you, he knew you would be a tough case.
・sometimes he likes to spook you just a little bit.
・hes very curious about you even though your like an open book, he wants to know more about you.
・he feels bad for you because your a child, but he wont ever admit it.
・Jack sometimes lets you help him with small tasks.
・he has fatherly instincts towards you.. but also has thoughts about eating you because your like a helpless little lamb and hes the wolf. He likes his victims vulnerable.
・He does not understand his feelings about you see he pushes them to the back of his mind.
・”You want to help me? But your a child..”
・he looks down of you because hes older then you. It’s immature but he can’t control it.
toby:
・he sees himself in you and he doesn’t like thinking about the past so he tries to stay away from you.
・but it also makes him protective over you like everyone else.
・so he doesn’t hang around you, but, he protects you like his life.
・when he actually has moments where he hangs around you he starts to like you.
・like your the only person besides sally who treats him like a human.
・but that doesn’t mean he wont bully you a bit!
・Its more like teasing but like sometimes he takes it to far sometimes.
・his dark humor scares you.
・very clingy when he gets to know you.
・he asks to have sleepovers with you! (He watches you sleep)
・he takes up every opportunity to go on a mission with you.
・hes like obsessed with you at this point. (Platonically)
・he sees you as “his” Defenseless little sibling!
・”H-Hey there Y-Y-Y/N! Want to- to- go on a mission with m-me?” (He will force you if you say no)
Sally:
・Sally loves you so much!
・theres someone here age, and another girl!
・theres barely any girls!! ☹️
・loves hanging out with you and having tea partys and just everything!
・shes a sweetie<33
・she understands your anxiety around people who are older.
・she has that to.
・Sally even lets you babysit Mr. Charlie! (She will be mad at you for a bit if you hurt/lose him)
・just call her and shes there!!
・”Hey N/N!! Want to babysit Mr. Charlie?”
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NERVOUS ABOUT THIS AT FIRST BUT I LOVE IT!!
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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My anxiety and depression feel like the ocean. Even when I'm not drowning in it, I'm having to fight to swim and it's exhausting. Even when I'm not swimming in it, it's still there, waves greedily lapping at my feet. It's always there.
I don't talk about it because there isn't much to say. Everyone already knows the ocean exists, yknow? Telling them it does just seems redundant.
Even when I'm sitting safely on the shore I can't stop thinking about it, staring at it, swaying where I stand because I've forgotten what it feels like to stand without the waves. Just waiting for the tide to rise again because I know it has to. Waiting for the ocean to disappear even though I know it never could.
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#tbd#☉#lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human#ok i get that#but fucking HELL I wish i was normal#i wish my health was normal for my age#i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent#im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness#why am i abnormal in that regard too#i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown#i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread#because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish#i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either!#and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel#like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you#its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn#& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs#just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of#staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches (#its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage#but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter.#trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs#like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal.#& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me#im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think#ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did.#idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.
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stargazingpsychotic · 7 months
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My effort felt for nothing. The first person was difficult to talk to because I was being talked to by the others and grabby hands everywhere, the person felt like a machine and I got scared so hung up. Then, trying again, talked to someone who just didn't get my situation, or at least doesn't understand where I'm coming from and how serious it is to me. And so much for support with suicide, like I get I cannot kill my body, but I definitely was unlucky earlier when I failed in what I did, despite being so close to success.
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reddeadii · 2 years
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bruh
#vent#no one rly follows me anyway and i dont have anywhere else to say it so im just gonna#say all this dumb stuff here#i legit don’t know what to do anymore like it’s so hard to get therapy and#i feel like im completely drowning and i don’t know who i am anymore and i feel like i’ve ruined everything with everyone that i love#i think im going to be all alone soon and i don’t know what to do about that#im so scared for school to start because i doubt that anyone is going to like me#i suck at introducing myself to new people and that’s what i’m gonna have to do like a million times like what am i supposed to say about#myself i don’t really have any hobbies or anything#i feel like there’s no point to my life anymore because it’s never gonna get better lol#gotta love chronic mental illness amirite#i don’t want to be alone i don’t want to lose anyone because i love everyone in my life so much but my friends treat me so badly and they#don’t like me now and i don’t know what to do because if i lose anyone else besides them i’ll be all alone and i don’t know what to do#and i don’t know what i did wrong! i don’t know why my friends don’t like me anymore#it’s not just ‘growing apart’ it’s not they’re genuinely being cruel to me#i don’t get it#i really don’t want to be alone#i feel like my life is going to shit and it’s all my fault#i know i did something wrong i must have i just don’t know what it is#i feel like such a burden to everyone in my life#and i try not to say anything i really do#i don’t want to bother anyone#but it just hurts so much i’m so sick and i don’t want to be alone#but like… if i keep Saying Things i’m going to ruin everything i have left
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iwanty0uu · 9 months
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a/n: y/n is black, whatever body type you prefer, and is about 20, she’s also in college and is a nurse in training so you know she gets money, and on top of that she’s a nail tech so she’s usually super busy. ~ keep that in mind !
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Onyankopon was extremely toxic, no matter how many times he loved bombed you after arguments that he knew he had the wrong in, or fucked you until you forgave him, it was undeniable that he was toxic. It all started after a long day of work, the hospital bustling since it was the night before Halloween. People did stupid things all the time but man the shit you saw that night was just absurd, on top of that you had a nail appointment as soon as your shift ended, so there shouldn’t have been a surprise when you stumbled into your apartment complex forty five minutes past eleven with a pounding headache, and a desire for comfort from your boyfriend after the traumatic night you had.
press me
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The soft sound of your light switch filled the empty apartment, a linen colored light illuminated the kitchen and living room, the purple crocs you kicked off flipped them selves over at the door. Throwing the keys on the counter and washing your hands, you couldn’t help but rest your head in them. You love your job, but its so tiring.. every day it feels like the world is moving at one hundred miles per hour and you cant catch up. Tears no longer threatened to spill, they were overflowing. You sobbed, headache worsening, heart aching from the stress and the pain, however your sobs drowned out the vibration from your phone which was forgotten after you took your shirt off, and threw it on your living room floor. A trail of scrubs were left behind leading to the bathroom, as you turned the shower on, not even waiting for the water to heat up and hopped in. Practically washing yourself in your tears, you placed your head on the wet wall next to you, going light headed from the steam, you felt drained.. so empty, and you needed a hug, so that’s what you decided to get. The water was stopped and the floor dampened after coming in contact with your wet feet, the robe you put on felt warm, it’s the closest thing to human touch that you’ve felt in a while, and the shower really did help you feel better. After a good cry, you decided to postmates some food and call your best friend Jayleen to see if she wanted to come over and watch some shows and eat and cry with you, but you were met with 28 missed calls from your boyfriend, and over 50 text messages. Great. You didn’t call him after work to tell him you got home late, and considering that he loved to make shit what it wasn’t, you know that he would have your ass in the morning, and honestly it was too much. He isn’t your father and he clocks your every move.
A sigh escaped your lips as you grabbed a cold bottle of water and let that problem wait for tomorrow and it’s own set of troubles. That was until three sudden thumps hit your door, making you jump, water bottle falling out of your hands. “The fuck banging on my shit so late” you complained cleaning up the mess as your headache settled back in. Clothes still on the floor, you opened the door to face with your “man”. The darkskin in an all black nike tech suit, and yeezy slides had his arms folded over his chest, hoodie up and durag on, only showing a portion of his head, but his dark and angry eyes met yours. You felt tears sting your eyes again, knowing that he was here to argue. “So you not finna let-“ you cut him off “Please don’t start Onyankopon. I’m so exhausted and I’ve had a terrible day at work. I understand I didn’t call you when I got home and that I missed your 28 calls but I was in the shower. Do you feel better about yourself now? I dont give two flying fucks if you’re here to accuse me of cheating again and I’m not boutta force you to believe me when you’re delusional lame ass love making shit up in your head. So stop wasting my fuckin time and leave me the fuck alone.You’re not here when you need to be so you can keep suckin your other hoes off. I could care less,nigga you’re bitch made.”
Your words strong, and it felt like a strong blow to Ony. Tears were running down your face as you practically begged him to stay out of your life, but he still pushed his way through your human barricade, and scanned your apartment. “The fuck your clothes on the floor for, you got other niggas in here?” he asked taking his hood off. You stood there looking at him, words couldn’t describe how much of an idiot this little boy really was. “Did this fucker not hear a word that I just said?” you asked yourself. Your head was hurting and stress was already taking a hold of you, since he didn’t understand english, you had to show him how serious you were about this. If he thought your words hurt, then he underestimated how strong your actual hands were. You landed a slap to his face which sent his airpod flying. It took everything in you not to Madea his ass with a pan of grits but seeing his reaction to your anger was price-less. “GET THE FUCK OUT.” You didnt have to yell for your voice to resemble your mother’s. Stern, sharp, and filled with anger. “You want me to fuck other niggas so I will. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” You said as he stood there, brows furrowed. He watched you grab the top part of your robe, holding them together for comfort as you pointed to the open door. Bonnet revealing the small knot that ties your silk head wrap together. You pushed your glasses up, narrowing your eyes at the bitch in front of you. Everyone in the complex probably heard the argument. No, most definitely heard the argument, your neighbor came out with a broom and was “sweeping the carpet” at one in the morning. Nosy ass.
Onyankopon’s POV:
It took everything in me to keep my laugh in at the sight of the girl. She looked like my mom while scolding me, but she love me too much to let me go for real. “Baby I’m sorry” I said trying to touch her, “Alright I’m done now” i said laughing but she backed away like she was afraid of me. She’s not deadass the fuck she won’t let me touch her for? Nah bro she really got me fucked up this time. “Stop acting like you not finna fuck and forgive me after.” I said sitting on a stool, leaning back on her island. Yea I have my days but she know how i am.. right? “Bitch don’t ‘baby’ me” she said staring me down, eyes still teary, but so soft. I know she still love me.. I mean this wasn’t even our worst argument so i don’t understand the problem. “Alright now you hit me and you got your point across, so let’s jus finish this like usual alright baby.” Putting my hands out for her to come to me, she stared and laughed. Laughed like i was wearing no clothes in the middle of the street. “Yo this wasn’t even a big deal for real so what’s your problem now ma?” I know how to get under her skin, even if she was for real, she would still be thinking about me and how much I get on her nerves. Shit, better than nothin.
“This dumb ass bitch bruh no Onyankopon. I want you out of my apartment, and out of my life” I felt her tug on my sweater and push me out of the front door. She cant be for real right?….
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But it didnt strike him that you were for real this time until three days later. HE seen you posted up with his home boy Eren on instagram who always got on him for not treating you well enough. He always told Eren to stay out of his business, which he claimed to be you, but for the next couple weeks Eren would be everywhere but out of your apartment. He was so good at communicating and never forced his way into your life, you two were just friends, and you loved having someone to talk to about your past. However, it was too late for Ony, when he was fuckin his hoes, he never thought, when he was giving head, he didn’t think about how you would feel, but now that he was a free agent, all of it including loneliness would bite him in the ass. He refused to admit it, but you were the best he ever had, and he felt nothing but anger knowing that he would never be able to be in your life again.
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THIS WAS TEWWWWW FUN TO WRITE I HOPE MY BOOKIES LOVE IT TOODLES! ~𝑙𝑒𝑙𝑒!
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avis-writeshq · 3 months
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ooooo u play l&ds too!! >:D i play the game cuz of zayne and he's my fave along with rafayel now my bbg fish boy 🥺💖
xavier is my least fave cuz i see him platonically sorry LMAO i mean more xavie to u i guess?
regarding ur question, i see the three of them as virgins but they still know the basic knowledge abt sex ofc cuz i dont see them as the type of person that sleeps around w other ppl cuz of the way they're so dedicated to us/mc like the hints at anecdotes & myths
plus since it's otome, it's rare for the male leads to have previous relationships unless the plot stated otherwise
yessss !! i’ve been obsessed lately like it has been consuming my mind [l&ds spoilers ahead!]😵‍💫 zayne is also my fave ! i mean, cold stoic doctor who’s only soft for mc? 🤭 xavier is my second favourite because he’s so cute and soft 🥹 major switch energy UGH i’m obsessed.
rafayel is sadly my least favourite ☹️ i tried really hard to like him but he’s just too over dramatic and clingy for me (and i really hate clingy guys)😭
zayne for sure knows the ins and outs of sex… theoretically. even though he’s a cardiac surgeon, he still learned about all kinds of anatomy. he probably doesn’t let anyone close enough to get there (let alone date) and i don’t think he’s the type of guy to have one night stands.
when it comes to rafayel it’s a little tricky because he seems the player type… also he straight up was about to let mc drown in the middle of the ocean? and then pawned her off to the black market like HELLO? so he could have been in a couple short term relationships. also he’s an artist who’s definitely had to work with live models before. probably knows where to find everything but doesn’t know how to put it into practice.
now xavier !! this is difficult because he’s literally immortal so i don’t know how much he could abstain? he probably did it with mc in their past lives which is why he’s a switch LOL he’s got experience and he knows what he likes.
that’s all just my opinion 😵‍💫 i might do some nsfw headcannons in the future if people want me to (yay adulting) 🫣
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explanations under the cut
Elizabeth Afton is actually the Youngest Sibling - as @birdsareblooming pointed out, when we see her room in fnaf4, she has a torn-apart mangle toy. mangle was stated to be made to entertain toddlers. would also explain why she's not in the gameplay, she's at daycare/with her mom
The Vengeful Spirit is Michael Afton - another one where cori convinced me and I might have an entire essay that I will publish after I finally sit down and edit through the Security Logbook section but until then here's a bullet point post
Mimic = Burntrap - i dont think i have to explain this we're all talking about it i just know people are gonna be mad at me for it
The Girl in Drowning is representative of Charlie, not Cassidy - She's literally got gray skin, black hair, gray clothes, and neon green lighting, much like a certain gray-skinned black-haired pixel girl with a green bracelet who died in the rain (water motif). Her dragging Kara down because she doesn't want to be alone could be seen as a metaphor for Charlie trying to give life but instead kinda sticking them all in robots
FNAF AR had some BANGIN re-skins - come on. look at them. Clockwork Ballora? Bangin. Broiler Baby? Bangin. Catrina Toy Chica? BANGIN. Springtrap as an actual fucking clown???? BANGIN.
Vanessa is an Afton in the Gameverse, too – Cori's workin on a whole explanation diagram for this but the most BASIC evidence is "her last name starts with 'a' and she's a nepo baby." I dont think she's William's DIRECT daughter cause man died in the 90s and she was 23 in the 2030s so. grandkid or smth
If Edwin/David is a metaphor for anything it's William/CC and not Henry/Charlie – listen i understand the whole "single dad building the robots and then breaking one in a rage" thing from TSE but also the mimic likes to mimic its creator and child before all else and who is it mimicking? afton and the little boy in sb who happens to look a shitton like cc. also game!charlie is never indicated as having a special plushie that followed her everywhere but cc very certainly did and hey if mimic can grow and shrink to fit in anything whos to say it didnt shrink into the fredbear to repeat stock phrases to cc such as "tomorrow is another day." also in the character encyclopedia art of cc he is holding his fredbear plush the same way burntrap positions his arm to imitate holding something. an
They're not gonna pull the Charliebot twist again. Nobody's a secret robot – first off from a writing perspective that's not the kinda twist you do twice. second off with the... less than stellar reception to the twist in the first place i dont think theyre gonna pull it again
"Cassidy" isn't the Golden Freddy Kid's name, it's Crying Child's – the logbook has Crying Child communicate through manipulating the text, while the spirit he's talking to speaks in faint writing; the second spirit never has a confirmed identity, but CC is most definite considering the stuff referenced around him. The "ITS ME CASSIDY" is revealed through.... manipulated text. The clues are in........ manipulated text. "It's Me" is CC calling out to Michael. The other spirit says "My name is..." a couple times BUT they also ask CC if he remembers his name just a few pages before. Granted this might just be us not understanding something but also if Cassidy is CC's name then who the fuck is Golden Freddy Kid. is Michael Brooks still canon
The nightmare gas didn't "ruin the lore" it's just kinda funny – look guys literally all of this lore is fucked, the fact they just threw in "also William Afton was doing nightmare gas experiments on kidnapped kids and then abandoned it for shits and giggles" in the eighth book of their second anthology series and then moving on like nothing happened while the fanbase collapses in on itself is like THE funniest thing they could've done
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hyunpic · 7 months
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list of songs hyunjin has played on his lives/recommended:
note: im probably missing some & i couldn’t put links to all of them cause apparently tumblr has a link limit 🤨
lauv: julia, lonely eyes, invisible things, paris in the rain, never not, im so tired, the story never ends, i like me better
offonff: photograph, cigarette (ft. miso & tablo), dance, bath
beyoncé: crazy in love (remix)
billie eilish: i love you, &burn, idontwannabeyouanymore, ocean eyes, before i go, tv
honne: day1, la la la that’s how it goes
christina perri: a thousand years
shawn mendes: mercy, treat you better, in my blood
dvwn: phobia
dpr live: jam & butterfly
jehwi: dear moon
leehi: rose
bts: dna, waste it on me, make it right
colde: where love begins, string (ft. sunwoojunga), the museum, wa-r-r, your dog loves you (ft. crush), control me, a song nobody knows, im in love
got7: miracle, hard carry
justin bieber: lonely
josef salvat: call on me
taemin: criminal
night off: sleep
sam kim: make up (ft. crush), like a fool, sunny days summer nights
niki: lowkey
iu: the visitor, lullaby, knees, love poem, give you my heart, my sea
cha ni: starlight
sia: snowman
akmu: happening
sunwoojunga: run with me
the black skirts: everything
korea cracker: ocean (ft. hoyeon kim)
cosmic boy: can i love?
penomeco: no.5 (ft. crush)
yerin baek: blooming memories, limit
10cm: so…., however
day6: i’ll try, love me or leave me, when you love someone, you were beautiful, congratulations, zombie, days gone by, afraid
dean: d (half moon), instagram, what 2 do, bonnie & clyde
exo: first snow, the eve, love shot
sam fischer: this city
jukjae: do you want to walk with me?, lullaby
ph-1: nerdy love (ft. yerin baek), as i told you
baekhyun: love again, un village
amine: blackjack
young k: come as you are, guard you
flume: say it (ft. tove lo)
twice: dance the night away, fancy
ariana grande: thank u, next
hajin: we all lie
about: it has to be you
caroline says: winter is cold
h.e.r: u, wait for it
bol4: to my youth
monday kiz: winter is as i wished
paul kim: the road, additional
sweden laundry: the winter
jung seung hwan: in that winter
chungha: gotta go
zion.t: no make up, snow
airman: gloomy star, i’ll be your spring (ft. j_ust)
motte: dont run away
seventeen: a-teen, super
khalid: location
lukas graham: 7 years
imagine dragons: believer
bo kyung kim: dont think you are alone
jung ilhoon: spoiler (ft. babylon)
davichi: falling in love, 이 사랑
coldplay: everglow, viva la vida
lyn: my destiny
jus2: focus on me, long black, senses (jpn version)
crush: beautiful, you and i
ed sheeran: lego house, perfect, photograph, beautiful people
croosh: why
20 years of age: x
tori kelly: paper hearts
seulgi: always
luna: do you love me? (ft. george)
wisue: someone’s shining
epik high: eternal sunshine
jp saxe: if the world was ending
seori: fairy tale
bruno mars: marry you
the weeknd: earned it, die for you
jung seunghwan: its raining, an ordinary day, dear
sam tinnesz: play with fire
post malone: motley crew
jihyo: stardust love song
kim feel: your voice
sung sikyung: solar system, heejae
younha: stardust
wonpil: a journey
taeyeon: invu, some nights, toddler, drawing our moments
nct dream: boom
ha hyunsang: 3108
huhgak: memory of your scent
se so neon: nan chun, a long dream, midnight train, stranger
umi: remember me
tvxq!: mirotic
johnny balik: honey
red velvet: psycho
new jeans: hype boy
christian kuria: losing you
cigarettes after sex: k.
dpr ian: nerves, no blueberries, 1 shot
samm henshaw: broke
woodz: drowning
kelly clarkson: underneath the tree
kimmuseum: to you who cant sleep
taylor swift: betty
lana del rey: young and beautiful
harry styles: watermelon sugar, she
pink sweat$: honesty
masego: tadow
olivia rodrigo: vampire
troye sivan: youth, for him
kai: mmmh
2pm: my house
oasis - wonderwall
oasis - hey now
mac miller - that’s on me
mac miller - everybody
nothing but thieves - amsterdam
bren joy - sweet
back number - i love you
puma blue - already falling
mac ayres - roses
mac ayres - next to you
bruno major - old soul
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motherofplatypus · 5 months
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A short fic of that scene where BDubs ask Grian if he wanted Scar to be killed. Don't expect good grammar, im just a platypus. Here's to you @morickkk mate, dont think I didn't mean it when i said im currently writing one lol.
Also don't expect proper grammar. Im just a platypus.
***
"Hey! You want me to kill Scar?"
Those words flowed like thick mud into his ears. He wasn't sure if he heard it correctly, especially with Jimmy being a new voice in his head and nearly drove him into madness 5 minutes into the session.
So Grian waited for a few seconds for his brain to actually understand what BDubs just said. And as soon as his brain processed those words that almost sounded like an ancient language, he came to the realization that the words meant exactly what they meant, and his heart sunk into his stomach.
Scar? Kill him? Kill Scar? His brain jumbled up with the idea of the businessman had his blood drawn out of him.
Blood on his hands. A lifeless body beneath him, drowned in a pool of crimson blood, adorned with sands, poppy, and lilac. The rustic smell of blood filled his lungs, and an apology that echoed in his head.
Grian choked up. Whatever he had for breakfast crawled their way up to his throat. He barely just able to keep his food inside him. The acidic taste left a lingering sting in his throat, but it was nowhere near as bad as the imaginary scent of blood in his nose.
He can't let it happen. He can't let Scar be killed. He can't...he just can't. It doesn't matter if it's a task or just plain revenge, he can't let it happen.
Grian is aware that Scar's position as of now is far from good and trustworthy. He had played the role of a villain for 3 sessions in a row. He had griefed, burned, destroyed, stole, hurt, lied, and scammed everyone and everything. But it was all because of his task.
Grian remembered when he asked Scar to be his friend, but couldn't say yes because his task was to do the opposite of anything people said. He saw the desperation in his eyes, the loneliness. How he laughed while his eyes screaming for help to be saved. He's not a bad guy, at least not as bad as everyone thought he is.
It was all because of his task.
"Can we still be friends?" His voice echoed, gentle and desperate as a red name could be. Poppies and lilacs in hand, an offering for a partnership.
Grian won't allow it. He will not let Scar get hurt, let alone be killed. No. He rejects the idea of Scar getting killed.
"Say yes."
Grian's mouth closed as soon as it opened. His body is no longer his when those words were spoken. Jimmy had given the order, and it's his task to obey.
His body trembled, resisting the influence of his so-called Guardian Angel. It was painful. It was agonizing. The more he resists, the more intense the pain he felt all over his body, like hundreds of tiny blades twisting inside his body, slowly making their way into his heart.
Still, Grian resisted. Resist the influence and control the other had on him. If succeeding meant he had to relive that moment again, he'd rather be a failure.
Persistent as he may be, it was only a matter of time before the pain won him over. Before the pain became too much to handle. Before resistance became obedience.
His lips trembled. The word is already at the tip of his tongue. Mustering what's left of his strength, he resists once more, to no avail.
"Yes." Grian had finally spoke.
And he crumbled from within. His heart was crushed and shattered. The joy and laughter that came from everyone around him sounded like a mockery. A mockery for his attempt to resist.
Grian felt his limbs went numb. The word he said may not came from his heart, but it came from him. He said it, with his own mouth and tongue. With his own voice.
A smaller voice within his head spoke to him, telling him he did a great job to resist. That what matter was that he tried. But an even bigger voice told him, his own voice, that he's a failure to keep Scar save once more.
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aonungyoufuck · 1 year
Note
hi! i hope my request will be okay to you rules but im thirst for smth like this ;
y/n is sully, and mated with aonung (aged up obv)
so in the first part they do yfkyn (smut) and in the second part y/n is pregnant and all alone in the shore bc everyone went to fight with sky people. the birth started but there is so much complication so she end so messed up with so much blood coming out from her v and half conscious. when aonung come back he found her and first he loose his mind he was so scared but then he take her to ronal who need to do all the things like sew her and everything - her condition was tragic.
firstly im so sorry for my english (it is not my first language so yeah) but i decided to write because i see that youre aonung specialist 😂❤️
Ma Baby Ma Baby
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Warnings: Obv birth, Some tear kinda gore? Graphic for sure.
Ao'nung (22) Reader (21)
Thank you for the request Anon! Sorry it took me a while since i dont typically write Smut i tried making it up with it some more with the rest of the story (Also i was lowkey coughing up my lungs so excuse my tardiness i hope this was okay!)
Finally. was all you can think about as you felt the stinging pain of the tattoo now being painted over your skin. Sure You dint really need to do this Given your darker complexion and the fact that well you weren't really metkayina well... But that didn't matter. You had stated this is what you wanted for you. For him.
"Almost done don't worry"
Truth be told this was only one Tattoo of many you were sure to have. One of your spirit sister, No doubt later came the mate tattoo.
Just the thought sent shivers down your spine. You had never thought this would happen. That you would be Mated to Ao'nung. Truly no you didn't see this coming.
Had you told yourself when you arrived and hated the poor man's guts. Well You'd probably ask you to drown. However now it was different. He had changed along side you.
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"How gorgeous you are"
"Oh stop that i just came to show you" You said slapping his hand off of your hip. No doubt some time later you'd see your spirit sister with one too.
"And yet you take my breath away anytime i see you"
"Oh hush. Do you like it or not?" You asked moving your loincloth just a little bit more to show him fully the full thing.
Feeling his hand stroke your inner thigh and beginning to whisper in your ear. "I do"
"Stop that" You spoke slapping his hand feeling the other now rest on your back and pull you into him.
Now you were not much shorter than him. Not by a lot but right now you felt so utterly small, and in a good way too. Feeling him rub against you, the loincloth now rubbing right above your own.
"Ao'nung stop we cant stop once we start"
"Who said i want to stop" He whispered again now pushing you two down at full force. Him atop you feeling you and you in turn him.
It honestly felt like a bunch of little things were crawling on you with the excitement that you felt.
You two never done anything more than hug or kiss. Never taking it too far. You two knew better than doing anything before mating. But maybe it was time to try something new.
"Ao'nung seriously! Your mother and my father will kill us if we do anything right now"
"Its a good thing your worth it then" He spoke. Kissing your neck and lowering dangerously. Feeling his hand messing with your top.
Jake was a very strict father, It was a blessing he even gave Ao'nung the blessing of courting you. But if this went on any more you were sure you'd lose your mate before he even officially became your mate.
You may as well go out together, you thought now pulling him closer to you. You were thankful that right now it was well past eclipse and no doubt everyone was asleep. So if anyone were to see anything, well it was really their fault.
"It seems even you want this my love"
"Oh shut up"
Almost like messy teens trying to get something from each other. You two messed around with the knot of each other's loincloth. before Finally being expose to one another.
You couldn't help but avade looking at him. Before he placed a hand on your cheek making you turn to him. "Look at me my dear"
Taking in a gulp the air now thick with a tension you had only ever heard of. Looking at him fully. His tattoo on his shoulder wrapping around to his back and little over his peck.
"No need to hide now, dont you think"
You smiled letting him feel you. And you in turn touching him.
"May i ?" He asked looking down to your core. If you weren't high on the emotions you were sure you would have slapped him away to not look. But right now you didn't care.
You chuckled now going to sit at his lap. You wetting him and him in turn causing a friction you so desperately wanted right now. Kissing him. So desperate and yet so gentle.
Both your breathes becoming labored as you smelled each other. Kissing his head and then his collarbone before looking into his eyes.
"Take me as you see me"
He took in a gulp. Feeling you. Seeing you and tasting you. It was all he ever had dreamed of.
And with a prayer on his lips he guided himself to your core. The feeling engulfing you two as he bit your shoulder to hold back a growl that he had been holding.
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Now exactly nine months later here you were standing and waiting for Ao'nung to return. Just like you had predicted Your parent's weren't pleased to know you two had laid with each other. Not that you had admitted to.
Actually you had a whole four months to prepare for your ceremonial bond. But Ronal wasn't stupid neither was your mother. Neytiri was talking to jake when the suspension came on. You had been eating too much and so she asked Tsahik to make sure of it.
Sure enough your parents. Especially Jake was beyond furious. And by default you two had your ceremony much sooner than expected.
Now To say Jake and Ronal were the only ones who were furious was an understatement. It really felt that Tonowari, Tuk and Tsireya were the only ones that were happy.
Bless Ao'nung for handling your family.
Unfortunately that short lived bliss of being mates was interrupted. Roa had been found dead with her calf. Now you all stood watching as your father told them to warn the Tulkun. You couldn't move. You weren't allowed.
You just waited watching as Lo'ak and Neteyam were now arguing.
It all happened in a flash. You were in the arms of Ao'nung, and then the next you were asking him to be safe in bringing your brother's back.
Taking yourself into your pod.
You prayed. The pit in your stomach now hurting as you felt your breath hitch. You still had a few months to go. But it felt painful suddenly.
"Eywa please please let this fear leave me" you begged. Hand on your stomach as you couldn't even hear the horns sound.
War didn't just hurt those to went to it. Soldiers bled but the innocent stay and suffer that pain.
The silence of the village was what alarmed you. You were completely alone. Perhaps the stress? The emptiness of it all but you felt your water break.
Panic seeped into your heart. It was far too early. Too dangerously early and you were alone. Nobody in sight. Without even thinking you let out a cry unbeknownst to you calling your Ikran 'Ana.
You didn't even know what to do. All you remembered was what little you had learned from Ronal and your mother. You thanked 'Ana for being ever so patient as you pulled at her face and held her there while you went into the water.
Let Gravity help
That's all you were told was your best of friends. And so you did. Feeling 'Ana Grumble and growl along side you. Perhaps too she was scared of what was happening.
You felt the sting. And then the shooting pain. You began to push on instinct too But that sharp burning pain didnt stop. Looking down at the water you saw red.
Blood. A lot of Blood
'help'
it was the only thing on your mind as you finally felt the relieve of the growing tension ease.
But that wasn't the end of it. Yours lungs ached and the bleeding was getting so much worse. Looking at 'Ana you looked at her finally.
"Please..get mom"
That's all you wanted letting her fly off. You looked down again. Placing your hand down to feel. An open wound. And the head of your babe poking out.
Screaming again as you began to push. Feeling yourself get lightheaded. You looked to the open sea. Cries. War. And you were all alone delivering your babe by yourself.
Begging, Silently praying to Eywa as you felt your legs shake.
Ao'nung along side Tsireya was now dragging back a wounded Neteyam. He made a promise to bring your brother's back. Jake Had told him to take him back to shore and that's what he did.
His people Some wounded and some not so much. Some being dragged. To the safety of his mother's healing pod.
And that's when he saw you. He was so sure he didn't let you anywhere NEAR the battle. He was so sure he didn't see you there. But there you were.
He was one of the very first few people back. And there you were laying on the shore. The water around you red.
"Ao'nung!" Tsireya yelled now taking Neteyam in her arms as she saw him run to you.
So much blood. So much blood. Dragging you he saw the cord that now left your legs and he began to search the water. Scared. Terribly scared, frightened to his core to think that something happened to you or the babe.
And then he brought the small thing up. Its movement now erratic before he let out a shrill cry. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be so happy
But this babe was so so small. So terribly tiny. And you were bleeding.
"Go take her to the pod! Go" Tsireya yelled again struggling to drag ao'nung but noticing some people coming back.
Ao'nung didn't think he just picked you up and placed the babe in your arms as he took you to his mom's pod.
Now he was no healer. But his mom had taught him how to stop the bleeding So while she would take a while to get here He could do what was the best for the meantime.
Jake now stood in front of the pod where you were being taken care of along side Neteyam. He was both thankful and yet Furious with himself that he let this happen.
He looked at his son in law. his face a distant memory of when he let home tree fall. A loss and yet being so lost in thought.
"kid?"
He didnt respond possibly to shell shocked as he waited
"Hey it'll be alright okay?"
"Will she be alright?" He asked like a little kid. Looking at his family and then Tonowari both parents dealing with having to protect their kids.
Before he could speak. Ronal opened the veil of the pod looking at all of them and then her son. "she's alright"
"and Neteyam?"
"He's alright as well. Hasn't woken up yet but is stable. Come" She said stepping aside and letting them all in.
You kept looking at the ceiling. As you had been the entire time you were conscious. Ronal having to stitch you up and while painful it wasn't as traumatizing and enduring labor alone.
You saw Ao'nung and then your father. And that's when you began to cry. You had been so scared and you were terrified as Ronal had not said a word about your baby.
"Shh its okay. Its okay sweet girl" Your father said stroking your head as you couldn't help but cry.
Ao'nung holding your hand before he felt his mother tap him on the shoulder. A small bundle. Barely the size of a healthy babe in her arms.
"He is tiny. Premature. But he is healthy" She spoke watching as all your family now surrounded her and watched.
She was right. Such a tiny little thing.
Ao'nung smiled. Kissing your head as he just held you. "healthy my love healthy"
You couldn't help but laugh a little through your sobs as you felt ronal lay the small thing on your chest. Sure now came the path of having to care for such a premature babe. But you were just glad all that pain. All that panic was worth it. Because as you two stared at your little son. It made it all worth it.
"Welcome to the family little one" You heard Neteyam say next to you. and Oh Eywa. Was it the thing you wanted to hear after hearing your babe cry too.
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onlyrains · 1 year
Text
walk you home .2
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pairing: odajima yuken x female reader
warnings: grammar error, lowercase
note: i decided to make part 2, hope you like it <3
part 1 | part 3
days have passed since the last time you met yuken. nothing have changed and nothing special too, you never heard of him again until yesterday sachio brought him up to the conversation when he and yui walked you home.
“when would you come home?” yui's voice caught your attention.
her brother shook his head. “i dont know. yuken have been acting like someone else.”
“yuken?” you asked subconsciously.
sachio turned his head to you. “do you know something, y/n?” he asked.
you shook your head. “no,” you answered softly. you didnt had enough courage to ask any further even though you were dying to know.
“but its not like you cant go home, right? mom worried about you.” yui argued. you couldnt help to fidgeting your sweated fingers.
sachio ran his palm to his sister's hair, comforting. “i need to make sure he didnt do anything stupid, yui.” he said while smiled beautifully.
you heard it clear. what kind of ‘anything’ was it?
“what do you mean anything stupid, sachio-san?” you asked doubtly.
“he fought with high school Z few days ago. he seems so resentful.”
“by himself?” you couldnt hide your expression.
“by himself.” sachio affirmed. “he was not like this.” he added. he sounded so confused.
and today, after sawamura and yui walked you home, you made your way to a mini market nearby. you thought you need something sweet to drink to distracted you from your own curiosity.
you were drowned in your mind when you tried to picked your drink. thoughts full of the person who walked you home a few days ago and then he suddenly had fought high school Z’s bastards? unbelievable.
you grabbed a strawberry flavored soda in the middle row.
“i prefer the lemon one,” you heard someone talking right behind you.
quickly, you turned your body 180 degree to faced him and you were right. you knew it was him. you knew his voice.
“odajima-san?” you gasped covering your mouth with your palm.
a huge smile appeared on his face. “hi,” he greeted with both hands on his pocket.
and that was the first time you received a greeting with a big-big smile like that. though you couldnt decide if it was a warm or a flirty smile.
“you surprised me!” you blurted.
he clapped once then spread his arms. “surprise!” he exclaimed.
“what are you doing here?” you asked still confused.
“i saw you entered this store alone. where is yui and sawamura?” he raised one eyebrow and somehow you felt intimidated.
you closed the refrigerator behind you. “i was with them but suddenly i want something to drink.” you smiled innocently, showing your straight teeth.
“okay, then,” his eyes landed on your chest where you hold your soda.
“just that?” he asked. you nodded twice.
“okay, let's go, i'll accompany you home.”
you let him pushed your back gently without a word and he followed behind you to the cashier.
you almost got there but then your eyes met someone's in the queue. your reflex made you turned very quick and crashed yuken's body.
he placed his palm on your back and rubbed it before he asked, “something's wrong?”
you looked up to him slowly. “its them—cashier,” you almost trembled, not only worried about yourself but about what yuken would do too.
“ah, them?” he pointed at the high school Z boys without hesitation. “mhm..” you hummed.
“Oi!” he shouted and caught people's attention. you turned making him stood behind you.
they walked towards you and smirked. “you have someone now, huh?” the tall one recognized you so well.
“was he not there that day?” yuken asked the other two guys. “no.” one of them answered.
“you better tell him and make sure he shuts his mouth up before i do.” yuken leaned forward and place his chin on your left shoulder. “my hands tried not to leave my pocket this time.” he continued.
you could feel his breath in your neck for a moment, sending chills on your spine.
without a single word, they left with their stuff unpaid and you breathe as much as you could possibly do. “its fine now, you dont need to be scared like that.”
“you make me scared!” you shrieked spontaneously.
“me?” he pointed himself in disbelief. “why?”
“i thought you were going to do something to them.”
“i did something.”
“i mean physically.”
he smirked. “eh, you worried now?”
you chuckled in annoyance. “you did something to them a few days ago, right? what did you do?” you asked with a stern voice.
he laughed lightly and couldnt help to ruffled your hair. “you are really cute when you try to intimidate me, you know that?”
you swore to god your heart was about to burst but your brain said no. with all your strength, you tried to keep your threatening face and stared at him. “i wasnt joking, odajima-san.”
he chuckled, still. “i gave them a little lesson.”
“what kind of lesson?”
“my favorite lesson.”
“what is it?”
“oh, you want to know more about me?”
you sighed. you couldnt deal with him.
“let's go home.” you walked ahead of him to the cashier.
he stared at your back and smiled before join you in the queue.
at least he knows that you are safe now.
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kitmoas · 2 years
Text
Pernicious Prospect
Summary: Playing a little game to seal the fate of your life is only fun when you play it with a spider.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count: 5.6k ish
Warnings: Dark!Natasha, dark fic!!!!!, drugging (nat's serum), intense gun play (Russian Roulette), alcohol (and making bad decisions drunk), slight inspection kink, faux drowning..? kinda?, Nat is mean but also sweet. Toxic Nat. degradation, slight size kink if you squint, lots of names, hostage vibes?, stalking vibes, technically Stockholm syndrome too
*As usual let me know if I missed anything important*
***MINORS DNI*** ***18+***
A/N: This got a lot longer than it was supposed to be lol BUT look i wrote a dark fic without blood :O im just as surprised as you ALSO ignore any mistakes I made in this :) We ALSO dont talk about the hellsite not posting this yesterday :)
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Main Master list // Kitmoas | Occult
You weren’t aware of the deep forest eyes watching as you danced with your friends in the club, a few drinks in and no show of stopping anytime soon. The group had no idea when everyone would go home, a Friday night after a huge test meant everyone wanted to party until they couldn’t remember their names.Someone knew when you were going home, had your entire night planned down to how many drinks you would be having. Not once did they let you out of their sight, after months of observation and planning everything was ready. 
The anxiety and stress that you felt the past few weeks was melting out of your brain as you downed more and more shots. Stumbling towards the bar you yell over the music asking for another drink, but the man just shakes his head before walking away. Whipping around to try and find your friends, jumping when you come face to face with the ginger. In your intoxicated state it takes your brain far longer than you would normally would have to recognize who was standing in front of you, but when you finally do your jaw drops. “Oh m’gosh! You’re ‘lack widow!” 
The woman in front of you cringes internally at your slurred speech, cursing herself for letting you drink so much, but she smiles softly at you regardless. “I am, sweetie. Are you okay? You seem far too drunk to be left alone.” You stumble forward just on time, cursing yourself at your clumsiness in front of the Avenger. “Let me accompany you home? I can drive so you don’t have to walk.” She watches as you melt just from her simple words, smug at how quickly you agree. 
You watch with wide delighted eyes as Natasha pays off your entire tab, making sure you pocket your credit card. She also quickly helps clean up any mess that you created, letting each one of your friends know that she would be escorting you home. Tipping not only each bartender, but each bouncer, as she tied up any loose ends that you may be leaving behind. Lastly she even had you use the bathroom before you left, holding your bag as she waited patiently outside the door after checking that you would have the entire bathroom to yourself. 
She easily guides you outside, her strength coming into play each time you stumble or sway too much. You’re talking loudly, asking her what car is hers but she just stays silent; nodding politely at people as you pass them. Basically swooning when she opens your door for you, you giggle as you crumble in the passenger seat of her Stingray. 
It doesn’t take much time for you to be excitedly climbing all over, leaning heavily against the dashboard with your face squished against the windshield. Mumbling out slurred directions, you try your hardest to direct the ginger on where to go to get to your house but unbeknownst to you she had every single route from the bar possible memorized. Playing along with your excitement each time you saw a landmark you recognized, she bathed you in praise and relished in each happy wiggle she got in return. 
Even though she drove at an exceptionally slow pace, an attempt to keep you safe as you clambered around the car, she felt as though the two of you arrived at your apartment all too quickly. Pulling up in front of your building, she makes sure the coast is clear before walking around the car to open your door for you. You stare up at her, admiring her face as the moon and street lights illuminate her.
Stumbling as she drags you out of the car, “C-come inside please just for little yknow.” You tangle your fingers in her flowy shirt, humming in appreciation at the soft fabric. “Please…just at least to help?” You’re unsure of where this clinginess came from, the need to act cool in front of her slowly disappearing at the idea of the widow leaving your life just as quickly as she entered. 
Natasha acts naive, innocent even, as she humbly agrees to make sure you get in bed with water and ibuprofen. Her devious smirk only appears once your focus is on the door, fumbling to unlock it. Her steady hand lands on yours, her warm body pressing against your back. Entirely too buzzed you don’t question how she knows your intricate passcode, instead giddy as you drag her into your home. Spinning to show her everything, slurred rambling as you point things out. 
She nods along, mindlessly listening to random facts about trinkets she already knows about, as she moves around your kitchen. Getting you a Gatorade, not water knowing you won’t drink it, and a snack she sighs as she looks around for your medicine. “Do you think you can find your pain meds by yourself drunkie, or will that be too much for your fuzzy little brain?” Watching you salute, taking your given job extremely seriously, the ginger smirks as she cracks open the capsule from her bracelet into your drink. 
By the time you come back, tripping over your own feet, triumphantly holding a bottle of pills above your head Natasha had already set the food by your bed and gotten you pajamas. Before she can stop you, you’re stripping at the excited idea of wearing something she wants to see you in. “Than’u it’s sooooo comfy!” Flopping onto the bed, you roll around as you look up ar her. She’s watching you, careful eyes, as she waits for you to calm down. 
Reaching out to hold your hand, she pulls you into a sitting position gently. A smile on her face as she brings the tray of food and drinks over, “Do me a favor, dove, just get a little bit of something in your stomach? For me?” 
The way she’s looking at you will forever be engraved in your mind, something you would never be able to deny. You can’t even attempt to fight her, gobbling up the pretzel sticks and downing the gatorade greedily. You preen under her attention, wiggling at the small achievement of earning her momentary praise. Quieting down as you settle in bed, head nestled in the pillows as your attention turns to the quiet television show she turned on. 
You’re blissfully unaware of how she watches you, sharp eyes waiting for a flash of cherry red haze. It only takes a few moments, blinking as if you have something in your eyes before you have an urge to be near her. Natasha is sitting at the edge of the bed, a normally respectable distance but you need her closer and that is starting to scare you. 
It doesn't take long for the widow to realize you’re squirming, a distressed look on your face, and she knows that you truly are the perfect little experiment for her own serum. Her rough calloused hand slips across your jaw, turning your head back and forth before it closes around your throat. Inspection of you doesn’t take long, your mind clearing from its initial hit of serum all too quickly for Natasha. 
Once your eyes do clear, and you’re able to ignore the way your pussy throbs and your muscles shake, the widow can see the anger rising. She watches the way your body tenses, and she knows your fight or flight is kicking in. Even though she’s expecting it, the way you flail about surprises her. Your fist only an inch or two away from her face, you keep trying to strike her but it’s almost as though she’s inside an invisible box. Hitting the unseen wall over and over again, you stare in shock at your own hand. 
You try pulling it back, gently pushing your palm forward but you are able to cup her cheek. Stuttering, you want to ask what is going on but the words are lost in your throat. Gasping you try to breathe as you can feel the panic filling your body, something was weird and you knew that it had to be some sort of Avenger science or maybe something from Russia. This was all too much and your favorite hero was suddenly turning into a dark shadow that would loom over you for the rest of your life. 
Before you can even try to escape, still on your back, as an electroshock travels through your body radiating from the small red electric disk now stuck on your body. Paralyzing, you can feel the energy swarming through your body and the scream that rips from your throat is shrill. She’s moving your body, manipulating it as she wants and for some unknown reason you just let her. 
Spread out on the bed, you try your hardest to figure out a way to escape. This was your room, your home, and you still felt trapped. You’re unsure of what she did to you but you feel sluggish and it’s almost like you can’t move as she walks away. The widow is only gone momentarily but the moment she settles back on the bed, your heart beat seemingly settles down. 
Natasha reaches for you, rough hands running up your thighs as she watches your abs tense from her touch. “You know, you were so cute and just so excited to put on the clothes I wanted.” She pulls at the flimsy crop top and skin tight booty shorts, chuckling at just how naive you are. “It was so easy to get you right where I want you, it’s almost pathetic. Almost too easy.” Her hands are ghosting between your legs, running her nails along the most sensitive parts of your lower body. 
The tearing of your shorts doesn’t surprise you, your brain working overtime to attempt to be one step ahead of what was happening. If you could come to terms with it, maybe you could find the strength to fight it. You curse your body for reacting to the way she touches you, knowing that your crush on her doesn’t help, when her fingers touch your uncovered pussy. She can see the wetness shining in the dim lighting, and she uses her thumb to smear the slick. “If you really wanted me to stop, don’t you think you would be just a little less wet?” 
Her hands are everywhere, pulling at your nipples and scratching down your torso. You want to keep your eyes open to try and stay alert but you can’t help when they slip closed. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise when you feel your fingers probing you, poking and pulling you open. She’s inspecting you again, silently. It shouldn’t make an intense wave of arousal hit you, but you know she sees the wetness gush out of you as she opens you up. 
The ginger makes an appreciative noise, deep in her throat before she begins to push 2 fingers into you. She grunts when she meets resistance, you're wet but still tight. Ignoring the way you squirm away, trying to kick and claw at her hand, Natasha just moves her fingers faster. Occasionally letting her thumb rub at your clit, hard and throbbing. It isn’t long until she notices the changes. 
No matter how hard you want to say you hate the way her long rough fingers move inside you, you can’t deny how close you are. It’s embarrassing but after months, almost years, of crushing on the infamous Black Widow how could you not react so easily to her. You had yearned for someone to treat you roughly, to take you and use your body as they pleased, but you never had found someone that wasn’t too scared to do it. 
Even as you realized each step she was going to make, you weren’t finding the strength to truly fight it. If anything you were finding ways to excuse her, to let yourself fall into her web. Your body was already cracking under the pressure, arousal leaking down your thighs and into the sheets below you. It was only a matter of time before your brain fully caught up, you knew that you didn’t have the mental strength to go up against someone so highly trained like the Black Widow.  
Your body was getting used to the force that Natasha was shoving her fingers into you, creeping towards the edge. The way your body’s temperature rose slowly signified the steady build of your orgasm. Reduced to just quiet pants and moans, you wanted to beg the widow to move faster–to take what she wanted. 
Unbeknownst to you, you never had to ask or tell the ginger to take what she wanted from you. You were naive and innocent to what she had infected your body with. From this moment on you would be hers, to do whatever she could imagine doing to you. She was being generous by stretching your body, stretching her pussy. 
Ownership was something the Russian always struggled with, after years of never truly having something of her own, but when she saw you she knew that no one else would ever touch you. Months of planning and creating the perfect serum, all so that you would be laid out underneath her. All so that she could finally own something all by herself, her favorite thing–you. 
Your moans and the warmth in your stomach were driving you crazy, it felt like she wouldn’t just shove you over the edge. Straddling the line between ecstasy and torture, you let your mouth fall open. Jaw cracking as you mewl, begging to be touched with more purpose. 
Through hooded eyes you see your jade counterpart’s roll, an annoyed grunt breaking through barred teeth. “Such a needy little thing even after fighting me. Have you learned your lesson yet?” Her question goes unanswered when she pulls her fingers out, tucking the last two in. She’s enchanted as she watches your leaking red pussy open up, stretching to take four of her digits. 
It isn’t gentle, and she’s shoving them inside you, but it’s enough to make you topple over the edge. Your back arching, and a scream tearing through your throat. It isn’t exactly the most pleasurable orgasm, entirely too mixed with intense waves of pain. It’s short lived, the widow yanking her fingers out of you and leaving you clenching around nothing. Your slick dribbling slowly out of you and coating your thighs even more. She leaves you a sticky mess as she stands, wiping the wetness from her hand on your heaving stomach. 
As you’re still trying to recover, Natasha starts moving you. Chastising you when you begin to whine, pulling and pushing you so you’re on your knees. Her touch is almost gentle as she guides you into the position she wants. Your face is pushed into the bed, drool soaking the fabric as you try to breathe. Something settles along your torso, possibly her own body, but you’re overstimulated and your senses can’t make sense of anything.  
You hear metal clanking rapidly, almost high pitched, and it makes your blood run cold. Ragged breathing as you try to bring air to your lungs with your face is pushed into the warm damp sheets. The pressure between your shoulder blades and along your hips keeps in place, even as your muscles twitch as the anxiety builds. The sound was familiar, but you couldn’t quite place it. 
A cool heavy steel trails along your ribs, tapping teasingly against each bone. “You wanna play a game, malysh?” She mocks you, seemingly giving you a choice. Her hand tangles in your hair, yanking your head up. The shiny revolver obstructs your blurry vision as you gulp down as much oxygen as possible, as quickly as possible. “You know where I come from, don’t you красивая девушка?” 
The stickiness of her bright wine colored lipstick pulls at the thin skin along your ear, leaving remencance of the stain. You can feel the exhaustion in your bones, the ginger’s actions of the night catching up already. Nodding, you can’t even bring yourself to say anything. She’s humming, prompting you. “I-I know a lot ab-bout you.” Voice hoarse, stuttering and falling over syllables, you try your hardest to listen to her. 
She laughs, it’s silent but shakes her chest as she leans heavily against you. Tapping the barrel of the gun against your cheek, “Right my precious little fan. You know all about me. Well don’t worry darling, all that precious information stored in your brain will come in handy.” The widow shoves you forward, pulling and pushing your body as she flips you onto you back. 
Natasha settles comfortably between your legs, swinging the fun around her pointer finger as she coos over you. She sits back and observes you, head tilting as you squirm below her. Running your thumb along your dripping slit, she can’t help but admire the string of wetness that catches and dangles as she pulls away. 
You try to shake your head, no matter her experience you didn’t want to shamelessly gamble your life for a night with the spy. She just giggles, like a schoolgirl. “All you have to do is tell me what you know about me, lyubov'. That’s all. I know that pretty little head is filled with who I am and all the little facts you know about me, so this should be simple. Say a fact and you’re safe, and get played with. Say something false, and I pull the trigger. Who knows though, maybe you’ll enjoy that too.” She looks so innocent as she talks down to you, but you can’t focus on her tone right now. 
Chest heaving, you watch her with wide eyes as the previously forgotten fear reignites as the older woman precariously plays with the gun. A sadistic grin stretches her face, pulling her cheeks just a bit too much. “Dontcha wanna play with me, detka?” Tapping the bottom of the grip on your lower belly, Natasha smirks. Your head is shaking vigorously, pathetic whimpers tumbling from your mouth. Your fist swings out again, a pitiful attempt at hitting the ginger one last time. Struggling as your hand hits that invisible wall again, she just slowly lowers it down to the bed. “Too bad you don’t have a choice.” 
Her calloused thumb swipes at your throbbing clit, smiling as your hips jump trying to chase after the spark of pleasure. She shushes you, smoothing her hand across your lower belly. Her gaze flickers up to watch your reactions, jade peaking through lashes as she taps the muzzle against your puffy red cunt. Natasha makes a noise, your only chance at a warning before she’s shoving the barrel of her gun into you. Watching you stretch, raw and red, around the cold smooth metal she has to bite her lip to suppress her own reactions. 
The moan that tumbles from your lips is involuntary, and the sounds only get worse as she forcibly ruts her beloved weapon into you. “First fact, princess.” When you just wither beneath her, too focused on your own arousal, she cocks the gun. The click ringing out, a stark contrast to your mewls. “Don’t keep me waiting, dove. It’s rude and my patience wears thin.” 
You stutter through the first couple facts, all things the public knows of. The most common facts that cannot be disputable; her alias, her training and community upbringing, and her status within the government as an Avenger. It wasn’t until she rubs your clit, dragging the wetness across your skin, that your mind swirls again. Broken gasps you mumble out, “You killed the overseer of the Red Room”.  
The ginger laughs, a short gleeful thing, as she shakes her head. “Poor baby, your head is already so foggy and the game has just begun.” You hear the menacing sound of the gun click, stalling, as she pulls the trigger for the first time. Even as the fear rings through your skull, sinking into your bones, you can’t help but the wetness that drips out of you and the way you clench around the slowly warming steel. A breathy please falls from your lips, and you aren’t exactly sure what you’re pleading for. 
A second wrong fact tumbles from your lips, jumbled and almost incomprehensible, as you beg the widow for mercy. Nothing you say deters her, even as you correct your previous statement. You knew that she didn’t go to kill Tony, just to see if he was dying but in your haze you said the wrong thing. Apologies and sobs wracking your body as you try to take back your mistake, but she’s pulling the trigger before you can stop her. Your hands are gripping your wrist but your fingers won’t move no matter how much you try to claw at her skin, a measly attempt to pry her away from you. 
Natasha shoves the barrel roughly into you, a piercing pain shoots through your body as she mumbles for you to continue. Her eyes trained at your body, it’s almost like this is mindless for her not even breaking a sweat. It’s almost like she’s angry at the fact that the bullet and chamber have yet to align. “You w-wear the arr-ow for Cl-lint.” Stuttered though true, your fact makes her chuckle. The green eyed woman just thrusts into you harder, dragging you closer to the edge. 
Through hooded eyes you watch her, eyes flickering back and forth between the way her bicep tenses and how the vein in her neck pulses. Distracted you stutter on your next fact, “Y-y um dance um ta–”. Even though you never finish your sentence, the sight of the gun rubbing against the most sensitive part inside of you, the assassin knows you were going to mess up. The longer she’s moving inside you, the harder you find talking and thinking. It terrifies you how much you like the feeling of the steel inside you, how you drip around the cylinder. 
The coil in your stomach cracks when you hear the widow cock the gun, body twitching when she pulls the trigger again. She has you dangling over the edge, almost like you were on a string. Dragging her nails down your thigh, leaving bright red streaks and a burning sensation. Her actions are almost teasing, toying with you as you squirm and moan under her. 
Natasha’s voice is soft, almost comforting, as she stares down at you. Her eyes almost soft, nurturing, as she fucks her gun into your sore cunt. “Such a desperate little whore, I can barely move my gun from how tight you are.” Reaching up to cup your breast, she pinches your hardened nipple ruthlessly. Tugging at it until your back arches, trying to relieve some of the pain. 
It’s a spreading warmth, stinging, as the redness explodes across the goosebump covered swell. Your brain can’t keep up, swirls of pain and arousal clouding all your thoughts. “Give me another one, now.” Hissing, her voice strikes in your bones. A shiver running down your spine as you try to keep your orgasm at bay. A small part of you still wanted to be defiant, to try and fight in the only way you can. You knew you couldn’t physically do anything to hurt her, but you could take hits at her ego. 
The longer you delay the inevitable, whimpers and whines filling the air as you focus solely on the pleasure, the angrier the ginger gets. She’s jamming the gun harder into you, her muscles flexing with each push. Forcing your breath and your heart beat to stutter, jumping along with the force of her ruts. “Play my game, you worthless whore. Play or I’ll play without you.” Wrapping her hand around your throat, she hovers over you. 
Her weight is almost completely on your neck as she looks down at you. You babble panickedly, wheezing as you try to fight for your life. Unsure of the words you even say, you thrash violently at the clicking of the gun. Legs flailing, kicking helplessly at air, as your body goes into full fight or flight mode. Throat raw as you scream, the shrill sound cut short as Natasha slams you down. 
“No matter how much you fight, princess, you can’t deny the way you're teetering. Barely clinging to the edge. You’re not going to last much longer, so why must you fight me?” Clenching, each word she speaks to you wears the rope you’re hanging from thin and dropping you farther and farther over the edge. She pulls the trigger again, pulling the hammer down immediately to pull the trigger once more. “Looks like you only have one more chance, little dove.” 
Your entire body is shaking, and you can barely understand a word she says. The overwhelming weight of the barrel inside of you is the only thing you can focus on, the pull of the smooth metal as it thrusts. It’s no longer cool, your temperature heating it up. Whining you try to get her to understand your frustration, the way she’s clouding your judgment and stripping you of your ability to coherently speak. 
It doesn’t matter anymore as the rope falls apart and you slip over the edge. She struggles to keep the barrel inside of you, the force of your orgasm not only shaking your entire body but the gush of wetness escaping you is even stronger. The way she moves doesn’t slow, if anything she puts her entire body into how she jams the firearm into you. Her fingers grip your jaw, clawing until your mouth falls open. Your moans are garbled, drool and spit filling your mouth unable to escape except for a few drops leaking down your flushed cheek. 
The ginger pulls the gun from your leaking cunt, pulling your body to let your center lay flush against her thigh. Your hips are grinding before she can even demand you to move, chasing the high that you’re on. Natasha leans back, rolling her eyes as she watches you hump her leg. “You’re fucking disgusting.” Wiping her gun along your torso, your slick is cool against your heated skin. You’re entirely too lost in your pleasure, heavy eyes blurry as they try to watch the woman above you. 
It’s the exact moment that your body finally settles, muscles gently vibrating with the aftershocks of your waning orgasm, that you see the widow’s arms move quickly. Cocking the gun you can see up the sight just for a moment, before she pulls the trigger. The bullet is loud as it pierces the mattress next to your head, fluff and fabric exploding. It makes the blood in your veins run cold and the high you were on plummet back down to Earth. 
Fuzzy brain, clearing slowly, you stare wide eyed up at Natasha. “Y-You were actually going to shoot me?” You can’t stop stuttering, gasping, as you realize how close to death you truly were. The shaking is back with a vengeance, almost like your entire body is plugged in. This entire time you believed that it was all just a game, a thing for the Avenger to scare you with so that you would be more open to having sex with her. 
The Avenger smiles, cupping your cheek and smoothing her thumb over the flush she finds there. She licks the cooling metal, humming at the taste she finds there before letting the gun fall heavy on the sheets. “And yet, my darling, your body is still shaking and aching for my touch.” When your hips try to move against her body, she shakes head. “Nuh uh, you’re done for the day. I can’t push you too much.” She’s shifting to sit next to your collapsed body, ignoring the pathetic whimpering falling uncontrollably from your mouth. 
You are struggling to breathe properly, heavy pants filling the air as the two of you sit silently on the bed. She’s gently pushing your matted hair away from your sweaty forehead, and wiping away the stream of tears you weren’t even aware you were crying. Natasha lets all the emotions that you are feeling to be let out, the entire thing overwhelming you but she doesn’t want you to completely shut down after just one play session. 
The quiet doesn’t last long, the widow pushing your body to sit up. Your entire body feels weak, unstable, as you sway in your spot. She’s the only grounding factor you have in the moment, and you hate how pitiful you seem. Natasha is trying to get you to move faster, shoving at you, urging you to move faster so that she can strip the bed. You try to tell her that you can’t feel your body, that everything is just too much, but it doesn’t matter and you can see the seething anger. 
Looking down at you, her hand is fisted in the sheets where she’s trying to clean up. “Stop being a worthless bitch, and move out of my way.” Her free hand tangles in your hair, throwing you off the bed. You lay, crumpled in a ball, at her feet. Not daring to move as she rips the bedding from the mattress. “I’m trying to clean up after you, and you can’t even be considerate enough to move out of the way.” 
Her angry words cut deep, but she’s reaching out to you and scooping you up. It’s soft and gentle as she carries you to the bathroom. The ginger spends an immense amount of time cooing over you as she gets the water warm. Rubbing your sore muscles and softly detangling your hair, kissing all over your face each time she tugs a bit too harshly.
You basically swoon as you stand in the steaming shower, Natasha gently washing your body. Her hands running along your body makes your mind swim, quiet moans under your breath each time she randomly teases you. Leaning up against the cold tile wall as you watch her get shampoo, getting ready to wash your hair, you have to keep a grip on the shelf to keep standing. Your legs are sore and still shaky, even your body still feels weak. 
When the ginger turns around to wash your hair, she sees you leaning heavily against the wall with your eyes closed. Tying to take a few deep breaths, she tries to calm down but she can’t help the searing anger. Dropping the glob of shampoo in her hand she grips your chin, and spins your body around. It’s all too quick and the slick floor makes you slip entirely too easily. You can’t even understand what she’s hissing into your ear, bitter and heated. 
She’s shoving your face into the stream of water, uncaring as you choke and thrash about. Her voice, whispering directly into your ear, makes you freeze as it sinks into your bones. “Such a dumb little girl, how would you ever survive without me? Hmmm?” You aren’t sure how long you’re swallowing and gagging on water, spilling over your lips. You had given up, ready to let your lungs fill with water when she shoves you against the wall. “I don’t want to hurt you, dorogoya. I really don’t but someone has to keep you in your place. Don’t they?” She chuckles, low and heavy, when she sees you mindlessly nod. 
You can feel your body being thrown around, limp, as she moves you where she wants you. Brain struggling to do anything but answer the older woman whenever she asks you a question, it’s almost as if whatever she did to you put you into autopilot. 
Sinking into the warm dry sheets, you finally feel your body relaxing when she sets you in bed. Curled up in her arms, you listen to her heartbeat and her humming as you try to fall asleep. The ginger even sings to you, a Russian lullaby, to try and help you fall asleep. Nothing helps and maybe it’s the suppressed fear that lies deep within your gut, but you can tell just by how her breathing changes that it’s starting to anger her. 
The hand that was once running along your back, a soothing motion, wraps tightly around your throat as she shoves you into the bed. Her body, once again, is looming over you. The forest green eyes are dark, almost a midnight black, as she stares down at you. Her grip on your throat tightens, and a sadistic smile stretches across her face. Your vision is blurry and the moment you try to claw at her arm, she catches both your hands in one. Pinning them above your head, her entire weight is leaning on your wrists and throat. “Poor baby can’t fall asleep?” A mockingly sweet noise falls from her pursed lips. “Well don’t you worry, I’m here to always make sure you can sleep. Even if you can’t do the most simple of things for yourself, I’ll be here to make it all better.” 
You’re panicking as your lungs scream for oxygen, and black starts to border your already foggy vision. “I mean think about it, even with your stupid little brain you must realize that no one else will want to deal with you. No one else will love you the way I do.” She’s smiling at you, even as her fingers tighten around your throat. The pressure is crushing your windpipe, and you’re slipping into unconsciousness as you’re forced to just look up at the ginger. “I’ll make you better. I’ll mold you into my perfect little dove. I’ll keep you around and then you won’t be useless anymore, doesn’t that sound perfect?”  
She forces your head to just barely nod, and she gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead as she watches your eyes flutter closed. “Goodnight my love, sleep tight. I’ll fight off any nightmares that dare interrupt your sleep.”
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