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yanderetrash · 1 year

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I swear ill shut up about it but

It may be that im just white knighting for Kim. I completely understand and acknowledge the possibility because otherwise it would be hypocritical

But. I feel like that one post is simply unfair, purely based on information we get in canon. Now, two things. Game is mostly what *you* make of it and one single playthru may not give you sufficient information which means you will substitute stuff based on your own personal bias

First off, based on my absolutely limited and flawed understanding of the world and with the caveat that at my best i can only half pay attention, revachol is an occupied state. Previously it was a monarchy and briefly a communist state but now its basically no national government or any other state branches but rather controlled by the coalition. In text this occupation is seen as "temporary" but also as, most likely if the status quo is not (heavily) hinted to change absolutely permanent. There are foreign military forces stationed in their airspace ready to strike at any moment should they try their whole independence thing again.

So yes ok this is a state under military occupation.

The RCM answers to the coalition such as it is because unfortunately that's the boss of this country now, they have been defeated and conquered. But like, RCM literally is the "citizen's militia" (in the name), and as Kim explains it its been set in place by the citizens (yknow) to take care (hey, let's say police) their own people. The coalition is not happy with this because the RCM is a house brand, not part of their structures. Shivers tells you that there is no need for the RCM in the rich parts of (the city? Its a city state, right?) so really they are only there to help the poor. Wouldn't the rich have better protection, coalition appointed? Bro i dont know either

The RCM does pretty much anything from cleaning up the streets of garbage to performing field autopsies, and it's underfunded and understaffed, with adherence to their ranks being voluntary. Sorta like the union appointed guys only tolerated by the occupational forces

Would also like to say that maybe as an american these very strong feelings don't translate as well but im east european so brother i feel so so so much. I understand their hope and hopelessness and probably have a more mellow, affectionate view of the whole situation. Of course that's part of my personal bias the window thru which i see the whole thing but i cant help but feel im closer to the shape because of it

Now the disaster of a main character youre playing as. I have to say first and foremost that this avengers good guys vs bad guys black and white mentality is sooooo boring and seriously detrimental to everything from worldview to personal growth. Blame whatever you want to blame for it (twitter, pop media, capitalism, idk). People don't necessarily have to fit into one of these two neat boxes labeled good guy and bad guy because by god people don't. Its not a storyteller's fault that their characters are not one or the other, bro thats good writing actually.

Hes a mentally unstable drunk who carries a heavy sadness and a strong air of failure and defeat. He's an overly sensitive little man who can barely face life one day after the other medicating this sadness with alcohol and drugs in a spiral of self destruction. And he really can't let go. The case, the love of his life. It's eating him away from the inside. Like, sometimes mental illness is not cute and its not pretty.

Bit sad that if you wouldn't wanna fuck a guy or whatever then hes tossed into the bad character pile. Wonder if he was good looking how much of this shit would have been overlooked, something to think abt.

So yea, he beat the shit out of that one guy. And he wasn't fired for it. Consider this however, the issue was ongoing for years, no one could find any solution, this wreck of a man was also drunk out of his mind, the only reason he wasn't reprimanded is because tallying things up his outburst solved the case and people (not the cops i mean the people complaining abt the drunks) were happy with the result.

But two things: i dont think that him being a cop made a difference here, harry would have done the same thing had he not been a cop but in the same mental state

And two, Kim would have never ever done this. I mean, no one else did all these years. It wasn't a strategy, it was a drunk's outburst

And three, harry felt very guilty afterwards (i know this doesnt excuse anything but does say something about him, no?), so much so he drunk himself into a mini mind wiping stupor. "Those two cases weighed heavily on you"

Lets be serious here, we've all met this person. Or could imagine this person. It makes me incredibly sad. Imagine to have to wake up being that person every day, i couldnt do it

Now onto the other guy. Completely agreed that Kim would walk around with any tolerate harrys whims if he wasnt a cop. I mean, why would he? I dont think they would even interact at all. The game wouldn't have happened. Null point.

His apprehension to interact with children is completely explained in game, and its not because hes an asshole but i think it would be better to just play the game and find out.

Besides, its not just harry hes patient and understanding with, its everyone. He plays second fiddle to your whims because you would play as Kim if that wasnt the case, but he never appears as anything but compassionate and understanding. He offers a prayer to the dead man. He treats the murderer with compassion. He agrees that letting Ruby go was the right choice and is heavily impacted by the loss of life after the tribunal. Maybe the choices made in game may affect the way he reacts (and honestly ive only done two playthrus so i dont know if hes secretly a bitch if you become fascist or something)

Sure hes a tiny little guy sometimes too rational for his own good, a cynic and a skeptic. Bit of a killjoy. But he's not an irredeemable asshole, and he's not a flawless saint either. He's a funny little weirdo and of course you want to please him since he's likeable and has an opinion on what you do (then again when games give me a little guy with opinions i always want to please them so maybe im not the best person to answer this one)

I think its very easy for strong feelings to swing from one side to the other (from love to hate) but i still don't believe this game is in any shape or form an allegory for modern day america or a commentary on the police institution in the US. Maybe its a bit of cultural dissonance at play. I dont know the remedy sad as it is because im not affected by it

#long post #holy shit its so fucking long but then again its a wordy post about the wordy game #disco elysium #so i concede that swindling those two teens out of their jackets was a bit of a dick move #but man was it funny lol

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substance-abuse-is-hard · 2 years

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Dangers all around us

References to drugs in media isn't really a new thing. It never has been. I never thought much of it. I don't think anyone really does at first, especially growing up or coming up, unless you've had really traumatic experiences. For the sake of argument; let's say you never have, and when you get into college, you know about drugs, never tried them and didn't care much. Let's say you're a hardworking student, or maybe you're someone who just isn't used to the amount of work you have to do. It isn't uncommon to know a few people who can "hook you up"... and thats when it starts. You're a student, with a really, really extensive amount of assignments to complete? Easy, just try whatever amphetamine you can find. They can keep you awake for long periods of time, make you really hone in and focus on tasks at hand, and, everything else becomes irrelevant to you. It sounds like something with ZERO downsides, huh? Well, not exactly. You can find yourself doing them all the time, and there are many people who say things like Adderall make you feel like you’re “On top of the world.” The truth is, students are a very, very easy target for dealers. Especially college students, who can be stressed, young and not very experienced in life. All 3 of these things combined can lead to serious substance abuse issues if not addressed properly. Like I said earlier, Adderall is the most common amphetamine for college students to be on, as many people say it “aids” in the amount of work a student can do at a given time. This can lead to some very serious and sad side effects. According to the American Addiction Centers’ website (which can be found here: https://americanaddictioncenters.org/adderall/symptoms-of-abuse), “Adderall is exceptionally addictive, which means abuse runs the risk of developing into a stimulant use disorder. It has also been noted that when an individual stops using Adderall (i.e., goes into withdrawal), they may experience suicidal thoughts, mania, panic, or nightmares.” This means that all those feelings of being “On top of the world” are simply caused by the abuse of the drug, and that when someone can stop taking it, all these feelings go away. This is what causes a dependence on substances in the first place, to feel what that substance had given you at the start. This means that, psychologically, this has catastrophic effects on all the poor students who simply just wanted to feel like they could get things done. However, this is not the only substance that many college students abuse. Another common one, that sadly is seen as just a standard thing, is alcohol. According to Addiction Group (cited here: https://www.addictiongroup.org/addiction/college-drug-abuse-statistics/) , about 28% of college students binge drink, and while that number may be lower than it used to be, it is still sadly still an oddly large number for students that are only 19-22 years old. Many can view both substances, Adderall and alcohol, as normal and harmless, it is not. The reality is many of these students really do need serious help. Whatever the reason they are doing this is, it has something to do with mental health, as all addiction does. They should not be ostracized for these things, but it should also not be normalized among them. I believe that the right thing to do is indeed to hold interventions, hold people accountable but also provide a strong support system for them. If you know someone struggling with addiction, do not be hesitant. There are many resources on the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration (Better known as SAMHSA) website https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline. Again, this is a sad reality, but with people bringing awareness to this, maybe we can at least help someone out there.

#substace abuse #awareness #empathy

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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 years

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Who owns the covid vaccines?

A key idea from sf is “all laws are local, and no law knows how local it is.” Prisoners of our own time and place, it’s hard not to feel like we’re living in the only possible world, is if everything around us is inevitable and natural — and any change is “unnatural.”

But anyone who’s ever dabbled in multi-agent modeling (sims where “individuals” each have their own goals and aversions) knows there are lots of stable configurations that a big, complex system can fall into, and re-rerunning the same sim produces wildly different outcomes.

14 months ago, we hit STOP on our big, complex system and now the US is about to hit START again. It will not be a return to “normalcy,” because the old normal wasn’t inevitable. There are lots of other ways we could get along. And frankly, the old normal sucked.

A key way in which Old Normal sucked was the way that monopolists were able to style themselves as heroic entrepreneurs whose great rewards were commensurate with their great risks — when in reality, the risks were always socialized and only the gains were privatized.

That’s an area where a new normal is long overdue, and that new normal is being born in the controversy over public access to covid vaccines.

Helping the poor world manufacture its own vaccines is the obvious right thing to do.

Not just because vaccine apartheid is slow genocide, but also because the longer billions of people are infected, the greater the chance that one of them will incubate a vaccine-resistant, even more deadly mutation.

MRNA vaccines are wild: compared to conventional vaccines, they can be manufactured with 99.7% less capital and 99.9% less physical plant, and mRNA production facilities can retool to make new vaccines 1,000% faster.

https://coronavirus.medium.com/manufacturing-mrna-vaccines-is-surprisingly-straightforward-despite-what-bill-gates-thinks-222cffb686ee

Moderna’s own assessment is that new mRNA facilities can be built in 3–4 months. There’s no good scientific or humanitarian reason to object to patent- and know-how transfer to the Global South, where vaccination is currently projected for 2023/4 (!).

https://apnews.com/article/drug-companies-called-share-vaccine-info-22d92afbc3ea9ed519be007f8887bcf6

We’ve just experienced the collapse of the racist lie — peddled by Big Pharma, Bill Gates, Howard Dean and other vaccine apartheid apologists — that poor brown people are too primitive to make vaccines.

The new talking point? “CHINA! CHINA! CHINA!”

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/15/how-to-rob-a-bank/#roll-the-dice

Whether it’s racist lies about the Global South or New Cold War hysteria, the underlying ideological story is the same: exclusive patent rights and the (spectacular) profits they yield are the foundation of lifesaving medical innovation.

That is, fate has placed among us a tiny cohort of collosi, endowed with the superpower of inventing the future. But for all their creative might, these saviors-in-potentia have the fragile temperaments of toddlers, and if they’re denied their due, they’ll abandon us to die.

“Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.” The true mRNA vaccines theft isn’t entrepreneur-inventors who face robbery by the public sector — rather, those “entrepreneurs” have enjoyed billions in public subsidies, and now insist they owe nothing in return.

So much public investment went into the covid vaccines that it’s hard to account for it all. The GAO thinks that Uncle Sam coughed up $18–23b in direct subsidies. BARDA pumped in $19.3b.

https://www.healthaffairs.org/do/10.1377/hblog20210512.191448/full/

The USG picked up the tab for non-clinical studies of new covid vaccines ($900m), and also shelled out for Phase III trials ($2.7b).

Moderna got $53m for production capacity, part of $100m in direct capacity contracts to pharma, backed with $2.7b for contract manufacturers.

J&J got a $1b pre-order from the USG; Moderna got $4.95b, Pfizer (which touts its lack of public subsidy!) got a $5.97b guaranteed order.

That’s just the latest round of investment. BARDA has been backing mRNA vaccine research for years, pumping billions into the project.

Pharma’s claim that it doesn’t owe us anything in return makes no sense, even by the companies’ own logic. They say that markets produce wonders because they reward canny risk-taking with vast fortunes.

By that logic, the public — who assumed the majority of the risk in developing vaccines — are the angel investors in this high-tech unicorn, and the pharma companies are the VCs who came in with some late capital to help scale up a sure thing.

It’s neither good business — nor legal — for early minority investors get squeezed out by latecomers.

But, of course, the government isn’t a business. Our democratic institutions direct our national productive capacity to R&D in service to human thriving, not profit.

Public investment in R&D isn’t a business in the same way that having kids isn’t a retirement plan: we have kids because we love them and want them to thrive. If they care for us in our dotage, that’s great, but if you treat your kid as an ambulatory 401k, you’re a monster.

I first encountered these ideas when serving as an NGO rep at WIPO alongside Jamie Love and Knowledge Ecology International. Love helped create the Access to Medicines Treaty and has been fighting the pharma industry’s self-serving story of fragile genius for decades.

In an interview with Janine Jackson at FAIR, Love lays out the plain case for an IP-waiver to enable poor countries to make their own vaccines, like the undeniable truth that this would “definitely expand the production and supply of vaccines.”

https://fair.org/home/government-money-thats-gone-into-vaccine-development-is-being-privatized-by-a-handful-of-companies/

Love also recounts the kind of public subsidy that went into covid vaccine production (for example, Pfizer’s boasts of free enterprise entrepreneurship omits the €400m from Germany and €100m from the rest of the EU).

Pharma’s claims of philanthropic largesse are wildly overblown. Pfizer told its shareholders it expects $26b from covid vaccines in 2021; Moderna’s projecting $20b (Moderna’s CEO’s personal net worth just hit $5b).

All that before pharma companies jack up the prices for “their” vaccines, in the years to come when we all need annual boosters, when the price will go from $10 to $175/dose, for a vaccine that costs $0.10/dose to manufacture.

The case for public access to vaccines and the case against pharma as a necessary or even laudable force for good is so thin, it’s remarkable that it’s persisted this long.

But as Love points out, the ideology that knowledge-monopolies are moral has some powerful backers.

Bill Gates is a prime example. Gates has been committed to enclosing commonly created knowledge and turning it into a monopoly — in service to coaxing our toddler-genius-collosi into action — since he was a teenager, writing petulant letters to computer hobbyists.

Today, Gates — a convicted monopolist — directs one of the world’s great fortunes (“behind every great fortune…”), and he mobilizes his capital to prop up the story of necessary and benevolent profiteering.

The Gates Foundation, for example, donates millions to “independent” media outlets (as well as partnering with public media like the BBC), and as Love describes, this has a chilling effect on negative reporting on Gates, the Foundation, and its ideology.

Like the time Love got a Washington Monthly reporter interested in a critical story about how the Gates Foundation’s grants influence its media coverage — only to have the reporter’s editor kill the story because they’d just applied for one of those grants (!).

Gates is a true ideologue, a relentless campaigner against any public access to public goods, in every domain, not just software. He’s been at it a long time, leading the charge against Nelson Mandela’s demand that South Africa be allowed to manufacture its own AIDS drugs.

Love: “Gates is a smart guy; he’s not the only smart guy around or smart woman around. I think people need to listen to other views. And, actually, Gates has sort of a mental block about these issues, and so some of his arguments just don’t add up.”

But all laws are local, and multi-agent systems have many stable configurations. On Friday, the New York Times editorial board — long a voice for strong corporate power — published an editorial and accompanying package strongly endorsing vaccine waivers.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/opinion/biden-covid-vaccines-world-india.html

The Times notes that the global economy is losing trillions due to lockdown, and that these loses will mount for so long as vaccines aren’t universally available.

But it also makes an ethical case, calling vaccine apartheid a “moral failure.”

It warns of political instability and the potential for states to topple if something isn’t done, pointing to the pitched battles in Colombia (in which death squads are now murdering leftists with impunity and posting snuff videos to social media as a boast — and a warning).

Beyond advocating for vaccine waivers, the Times backs Public Citizen’s plan to spend $25b ramping up domestic, publicly owned vaccine production facilities to make vaccines to be given away free or at cost to poor countries.

https://www.citizen.org/article/25-billion-to-vaccinate-the-world/

That effort will produce 8b vaccine doses, “enough to vaccinate half the planet.” And it will provide booster shots and new anti-variant vaccines into the future.

The future is coming. Lockdowns are lifting. The rich world is inching toward an emergence from emergency. But normalcy isn’t returning — thank goodness. The whole world deserves (and requires) so much better than normal.

Image: Quapan (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/hinkelstone/49920420853

CC BY https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

#pluralistic

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sanchezbloodline · 3 years

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"Never Enough Time"

Kenma x GN!Reader angst

TW: amnesia, drugs and alcohol mention, cursing, fighting, hospital mention, drunk driving, mentions of cheating

Time

Kenma was never one for people. It's not that he hated them, it's just sometimes they were overwhelming. They come and go, so often that he just stopped bothering to remember them and sort of just let them be.

Everyone except for Kuroo and someone named Y/N yet he wasn't sure why they stuck around for so long.

Kenma wasnt that understanding of why they never seemed to leave. Though he didn't mind, he was positive they would sooner or later. And yet that factor, It also scared him.

He could never remember the faces of those who left but he knew. He knew from the emptiness inside. It was terrifying knowing that everytime they came around he felt so much better.

"Hey Kenma, how you feeling?" There they were again. Y/N having entered his room followed by his supposed childhood friend Kuroo.

"You always ask me that" Kenma replied with a frown. He could never remember there faces, only there voice. When he tried, all he got was a blurred image of a poor attempt to imagine your features.

"And every single time, you say your fine" You replied with a quietly chuckle to his nonchalant tone. You appeared to be pretty used to his antics after all.

"Thats because I am" He grumbled, crossing his legs, listening to the beeps of hospital machines. Kenma had long forgotten the time that had passed since he had been in here.

Told that apparently he had gotten into a car accident, damaging a part of his brain that allowed him to remember those in his social circle.

But apparently, the two who consistently visited were people quite close to him.

He always got the same dream every night. He supposed it was a rememberance of the accident, a memory he could recite like the back of his hand if asked to.

Place

Kenma remembers where it all started, having gotten into an argument with someone. There face was blurred, like a fog that he just couldnt seem to wipe away.

"Kenma how many times do I have to tell you! Me and tet@$#$ have nothing going on!" The blur exclaimed.

Kenma had been drunk that night, drinking as to kill the painful feeling in his chest. But it made him angry.

It made him spiteful, and now here he was arguing with this figament that he just couldnt put a face too. He swears he recognizes that voice, the name on the tip of his tongue.

"@$#@ I dont know why your acting as if you dont in fact fuck my best friend! Ive seen how you look at one another! What do you whore yourself out to the rest of my friends to?!" It was the insecurity speaking, you both knew it.

But the moment was too heated for it to be truly acknowledged that he didnt mean what he said. And he was just to out of it to comprehend the backlash and consquences soon to follow from his words.

"Kenma you dont mean that"

"But I do! You want to prove to yourself so bad that you arent some slut but you are!" Kenma argued angrily. Shoulders shaking with such intensity that he was positive you could see it.

"Get the fuck out of my house. I dont let whores sleep under my roof"

"Kenma!" The voice exclaimed with pain wrapped behind it. The use of his name made his heart pang with frustration that they just couldnt seem to get the hint.

He pointed to the door, he didnt need to see the blurred face to know there were tears streaming down. The door slammed shut, and he was left alone again. The sound of the car being heard exiting his driveway and onto miyagi streets.

Kenma scoffed, opening a drawer he swore he'd never open again, popping out a cigarette. Lighting it up with shaky fingers, to take a long drag. Slowly exhaling smoke.

The pudding head decided to go for a drive. Sober, he knows that driving in this condition is just plain stupid, and reckless. But common sense wasnt something Kenma had in this very moment.

He pulled out of the driveway, and set out on the road. He had a few things he wanted to say to his friends face for sleeping with his lover.

He didnt make it far, maybe half the distance necessary before tears began to fog his view.

The heartache setting in, before a sob rumbled from his throat. Kenma lost control and crashed.

And now here he was. He didnt know where his phone lay, the hospital saying it was apparently broken and unusable. Though now that he was pondering it, he decided to ask the two a question.

"Do you guys know why the person I argued with isnt here?" Kenma asked quietly. Wondering if maybe they may carry a different answer. Had they broken up? He doesnt remember breaking up, but there was alot of things he couldnt recall at the moment.

Though based on there expressions they knew something. Kenma felt his whole world stop when he listened to there next words.

"...Well Kenma, it was... its me. You thought tetsuro.. also known as Kuroo" He watched as you gestured to the rooster haired male. "was someone I was sleeping with and-"

"Get out" He whispered, eyes dilated with fury. They knew, YOU knew. And said nothing, despite being aware he suffered with amnesia.

"Kenma please-" You started but we're quickly cut off by him.

"Shut up and get out. You knew, and you didnt say anything" His eyes narrowed, watching the guilt flash over your features.

Getting up, his eyes watched kuroo slowly file out, holding the same guilty expression.

"Before you go, answer me this, did you really cheat on me?" He whispered meekly.

Looking into your eyes, watching as you pulled out his cracked phone. Charged and alive.

With pursed lips, you took a deep breath, and nodded. "Yes, Kozume I did." and left.

Leaving him with a broken heart, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked down at the screenshots, proving your guilt.

#kenma x reader #haikyuu angst #kenma kozume #kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #hq x y/n #kenma

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macgyvertape · 3 years

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50 or so hours into Cyberpunk 2077

This should be roughly the correct amount of time, ive been leaving the game running as I get up to get food or do stretches. Quests are roughly in order I did them

non spoilers above cut:

i haven't found a single hat/helmet i like, and since you can't hide them I just am not wearing any. It matters that much.

I posted the other day about bugs, every few hours I play I find new bugs. some require me to go back and reload a save others I honestly can’t tell if it’s a bug or just really poor development

there are several perks that don’t quite do what the description says, like the Anamesis perk. Based on reddit and trying it out it seems to just not do anything.

sometimes in car chase segments the passenger will say “look out” as cars spawn in my path and hit me. Can’t tell if that was deliberate or a pop in issue

Yeah I’ve just totally given up on doing pacifist things unless required by a mission. Given up on doing stealth too unless a mission objective, except for sneaking around to set up a fight.

:readmore:

the delemain car quest is fun. From the shock of the one going "beep beep motherfucker" and doing a hit and run to start it off, to the GLADOS car i see a lot of people talking about. It was fun to explore the city when i might have missed places like the landfill apparently there is follow up on T-bug's death if you go back to the quick hack shop in Kabuki. It's not much but better than nothing I made the pass with Panam of "what if the room just had one bed". I know she won't do a wlw romance, which is fine since I wouldn’t have chosen her. I enjoy her as a character, don’t get me wrong, my V considers her as a friend, but it seems like theres always drama going on which would be tiring. I would have gone for a fling, i like her leotard-pants combo with all the straps

but also her questline was buggy as hell. Multiple cases of having to reload due to clipping into objects, including her in a driving section, or just insta-dying when collision physics with some rocks broke "your neural network can no longer function independantly of the chip" me slapping my desk: s y m b i o te!!! come on lets have some s y m b i o s i s

in the scene with hellman i really liked how Johnny moved around the room. It made him feel like he was really there. it was hard to follow the convo as I left the room, i would not have understood it without subtitles. But i guess Takemura fucking waterboarded hellman. :|

lol I hope the dialogue is different b/c i refuse to smoke for Johnny

i am level 18 and still can't beat the first opponents in the fist fighting quest. ffs

I looked up the romances options so I went to do the I fought the law quest as soon as i got it. ACAB, but like I literally just met River Ward 2 minutes ago, and I really like him. His earring and cyborg eye, his big fluffy coat. I'm definitely gonna sleep with him Ok i like how when River Ward is dealing with the tiger claws if you interject it leads to a fight. It goes better if you follow his instructions and let him deal with it. Seriously I enjoy that sometimes its good to not pick a dialogue choice.

during the red queen club part, there was no dialogue over the phone. So i reloaded a save and got myself spotted and attacked. Then River showed up to help me <3 and it was more enjoyable having him there. I honestly am not sure if him not going to the club level is bug or not.

then uuuuuugh the worst of irl police "cops are my family" from Detective Han. Again ACAB "FRATERNITY OF CITY COPS RESEMBLES A [Nomad] CLAN NOT AT ALL" ok a few minutes ago i was complaining about bugs, but the character modeling in this game is good (when they're there). You can see body posture, characters jiggle their legs when they are nervous. Like I though character A was just throwing a cigarette on the ground, but then character B flinches back; I realize Char A threw it at B as a fuck you

I'm honestly curious if "I fought the Law" quest will have any impact later on. My choices were that I thought there was more going on than Holt being the only person behind this (based on how complicated the main questline heist is, and keeping an eye on some of the in game news), and told him not to take it to internal affairs, and I loved his response of how he doesn't give a shit what we think, he's doing it anyway.

In the elevator to report in, Johnny said "this muck is deeper than you think, tell them nothing", so i just said that the case was complicated. anyway i love how much of a sarcastic asshole V is

I thought i was being nonlethal with the monk quest, but it seems i accidently killed someone. RIP, but thats kind of the problem with this game. Like when i do the non lethal cyberpychosis quests I equip my non lethal modded gun and hope for the est. I like how a go here kill things quest led to Charles the ripperdoc. He's getting all his parts from scav gang members so I felt obligated to take him out. I got a police bounty for it but w/e.

I merged the Delemain fragments with the whole. Guess he's the meta now. (Side note: some of my favorite rvb fanfic plots are Ai consiousness/memory merging with the humans, so I’m having fun with this game and look foward to introspective fanfic)

Honestly Jonny made some good points, the fragments didn't deserve to die; but also destroying the core and freeing the fragments, they couldn't really function alone.

I was able to rescue Saul fine with stealth. Using cameras and the synapse overload really made it easy. Can't use the sniper rifle reward b/c I don't have the stats for it, and while it has a silencer the fact that it's a ricochette weapon and not a shoot through walls weapons, makes it not as good imo; and theres a legendary one that is stats free for only 100k.

Lol made a pass again at Panam, and she immediately shut me down. I then did Mitch's quest and I love every time someone tells V they area good person.

I hacked the operation carpe noctem shard, and wow the corporations are using ai to make people have cyberpsychosis, or something like that. What a shocker /s, I've played Deus Ex HR before

lol driving through the unifinished interstate, past the fight from Panam's first quest I found a "batcave" with a very nice car, and a manifesto written by "muckman'. But here's my complaint about the loot, there is a legendary top, but it had 16 armor. My current top has 84 armor, like why would i switch?? then later i found a bunker with soviet spies in it. Wild

Doing River's second quest, love the timing of as soon as you ask, why are we breaking in, someone shows up to tell you he got kicked off the force. It's funny how Johnny comments how maybe River's into you, and V just doubts Johnny's words. Love how the first kid asks River if I'm his girlfriend. also wow like oof both the second parts of Judy and River's quest are SUPER fucked UP!! oof like i stopped doing first person mode on the braindances for those quests as soon as i could, just made me too uncomfortable seeing that in first person.

DRIVING IN THE GAME IS BAD! nowhere is it more apparent than the sinnerman quest, which took me 3 times to get the driving section done, as cars spawned out of nowhere to hit me. Then when you restart, there is a bunch of dialogue it doesn't let you fast forward through. The rest of the Sinnerman questline is interesting. My V took every option to tell the dude that he was messed up, and what he was doing was wrong. idk, I was surprised how much dialogue there was that let you buy into his whole "forgiveness thing" and how there wasn't any real dialogue to call him the fuck out, that in seeking forgiveness he continues to do harm both emotional to the mother of the man he killed, but also that he got the husband killed via cop. The later follow up quest, I told him that what he is doing is crazy, studio is just going to profit off this vid. Then I refused to join him prayer, and told him fuck no i wasn't going to hammer him to the cross, or even watch. Yes, the man is scared of dying, and the corporation is exploiting him, but he keeps creating burdens for others. I think the discussion on this quest will be interesting to read, it's definitely my own personal experience with religion coloring my view. Anyway back to a main quest, yeah i don't trust Placide, especially in that scene where he grabs my hand, then jacks in. I ran off to do most of the sidequests here and got some criticism from him. I do love how in the cinema the western movie switches to a mission brief as the netwatch agent talks. its a fun enviromental detail. I took the netwatch offer, i don't think he's being fully honest with me, but he didn't put a virus in my head. As I told Placide later, I didn't pick a side. I like how you can then talk with the agent, who is a fan of Western movies, b/c they show "a simpler time where all good guys carry badges" :eyeroll:, and then V recommends Unforgiven, which from the wiki summary goes against that theme.

Looks like the Voodoo boys all got killed by Netwatch, but I as revenge for them trying to set me up I'm fine with it. Honestly after speaking with ai!Alt I don’t believe their plan of trying to be on good relations with AI would work.

doing the johnny flashback 2, and wow Johnny really is an asshole. Like I had gotten so used to him in side missions I forgot how self centered and unlikable he was.You constantly get prompts to drink or do drugs, which I ignored. But i do love the goth/punk love Rogue and others have.

lol i called it, when Hellman said that the engram would seek to override the host, put V on the engram. I really like how as the relic malfunctions, you wind up in the chair with a cigarette, which you can either smoke and say you are turning into Johnny or throw away. My dialogue "your problem is the ends justify the means", which is true!!! He and Rogue detonated a nuke downtown, does anyone know that, and like ask Rogue about it????

(Funny you can ask Rouge about Johnny silverhand, over the phone, then the game bugs out and spawns her npc where you are. She doens't say much about the nuke, but she does say no one trusts you for jobs). The line of no one trusting you for jobs is pretty funny at level 46 street cred where im at “respected” status. really loving the family atmosphere at River's 3rd quest. Also his big strong arms, and the fact he is no longer a cop. I totally let the kids win, and wow the family dinner where they GRILL YOU over the relationship and try to set the two of you up, then the water tower scene!!!!! I don't love the first person sex cutscenes but they do have personality. I'm glad afterwards you got to tell River about the biochip and that you might die. Because he's so far removed from your personal plot. So I took that option to back out of a relationship.

I do love that you wake up with "river's tanktop" that says "fuck the police" It actually has extremely good armor stats, so thats what I'll wear now.

panam 3rd quest, when shes like why did you help me, I'm like "because it's important to you". Basically the closest you can get to "when a friend asks for help you help them", which as an ex-nomad backstory I really choose the nomad options when ever i can Paralezes quest part 2! I love the piano song but I always think of it as ocean's 11 music. It's also fun to see the computer and see Judy recommended you for the first quest. The emails talk about "forgetting" to hire a staffer, on the balocony a strange antennia was scannable, the color of the roses was remembered wrong... lol guess i was right with those giant wall screens. Its fun environmental details that spell things out before you can notice, and it ties into some other quests where people's behavior is being altered. Actually, this quest "Dream On" I love it! For a while I've been like "wheres the illuminati conspiracy! Here it IS! I chose to follow Elisabeth's wishes and not tell her husband he was being brainwashed. In best case they program him to forget again, in worst case he ends up dead. The gaslighting Elisabeth described is CHILLING, her husband describes a vacation she can't remember and she doesn't know whose memories have been messed with. On your way to the plaza you get a call from someone/something that says the know exactly WHAT you are, any you black out!!! It's such a great feeling of helplessness that you're just one person in a world so big that you can't fight every power. As Johnny said, could be a corporation, could be a rogue ai, either way Jefferson is fucked (and so are you).

#cyberpunk 2077 #mac plays video games #a lot of this journaling i do #so in a few years i can look back #and see my first impressions

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Text

anyway so a friend asked me why i don’t consider that just because a sh character has an actor of color, it means that they’re a character of color, and i think that explaining that to them i managed to get my point across quite nicely so i’m putting this here too in case anyone cares about my views on this

usually whatever race the actor is the character is, that mostly works

but it doesnt for sh because they hired a lot of actors of color for characters who are explicitly supposed to be white, and written as such. not just from the books but just like, for the story to work

Lorenzo is the most obvious example of that, Javier is latino but Lorenzo is explicitly white in show canon ("needless to say, being born in spain during the siglo de oro was quite the experience"; he's not only a spaniard, but explicitly a spaniard who was born at the height of the colonization and exploitation of the Americas and directly benefitted from it. his riches and influence are all the direct result of colonization. not only is he white, he is a literal colonizer and he's directly involved in the historic exploitation of latino and african ppl. so obviously Lorenzo is not latino, even if Javier is). but that logic applies to a lot of the charactes

take izzy for example. izzy wasn’t written as a latina woman, she was written as a white woman. i think that becomes particularly clear in the r*zzy plotline, and how the show writing treats it

recapitulating: izzy goes after the vampires, looking for a bite. they almost kill her. raphael sweeps in and saves her, and tells her to go away and sweat it out. in an attempt to show his empathy, he mentions that he’s handled addiction before, that he’s been addicted to human blood. izzy then slits her wrist and shoves it in raphael’s face, clearly seeing how this affects him. he still tries to tell her no, but she pushes him anyway. finally, he caves in and ends up drinking her blood. later, that same theme continues, with raphael not wanting to take izzy’s blood, and izzy triggering his addiction on purpose to make him. at one point, she threatened him with a sword to get him to drink her blood

so far so good, yes? but then we see the way that the writing treats this plotline, and it doesn’t add up

alec sees them and punches the shit out of raphael, up until magnus stops him. later, when he leaves, magnus talks to raphael and all but scolds him for what he’s doing (“let’s see if you still think that when you’re not getting high”) without even learning the full story. in fact, the fact that izzy was the one who triggered raphael’s addiction (repeatedly) is never brought up again. when izzy talks about it with simon, later, he’s all worried and tells her to stay away from raphael. and none of this is never questioned by any of the writing. we never see raphael getting any support, except for magnus taking him into his home again. we don’t see him struggling with his own addiction and his issues. we only see izzy, and in that process, raphael is unquestioningly framed as the villain, as the one who “lured” and got her addicted, despite the fact that this is objectively not true

this doesn’t make any sense at all, unless you take into account that izzy was supposed to be a white woman

and then we see what’s going on. obviously, sexy vampire who lures the unsuspecting mundane woman stereotypes also play into this, sure. all the scenes with blood drinking are weirdly sexualized; the first time that raphael bites izzy’s wrist, she moans and kind of leans back against the car and he’s over her body and it looks every bit like some sort of “sexual predator taking advantage of poor woman” painting, or trope, or whatever. but that’s also- well, a stereotype that’s used with white women

because women of color aren’t typically painted as the victims of luring and using and abusing. on the contrary, they are usually painted as the ones who lure the men in, the ones who are “intoxicating”, exotic, dangerous, irresistible, the femme fatale stereotype, etc

white women are the ones who are helpless and need to be protected by everyone, who are used and abused and taken by men (particularly moc, let’s not forget the historical use of “protecting white women from predators” as an excuse to increase policing and repression in neighborhoods of color, as well as the lynching and murdering of moc). white women are the ones who are unsuspectingly lured into a drug addiction and then used, needing to be later saved be everyone. white women are victims, and moc are predators. latino men in particular are also drug dealers and criminals and gang leaders. sounds familiar? yeah

so when izzy was being written - when this entire plotline was being written - she was written as a white woman. it doesn’t make sense otherwise. it doesn’t work otherwise. the entire plotline relies on racial tropes and stereotypes, and the writing lays that in so thick and naturalizes the narrative that izzy is being used so much that almost the entire fandom buys that idea, and never talks about how izzy used and triggered and abused raphael, and frequently writes him, if not as the culpable one, at the very least as co-responsible for her suffering. never as the victim, despite that being, through any objective lenses, what he is

so i think it’s indisputable that izzy was written as a white woman, that even as the writers knew that emeraude was playing izzy, they were still imagining a white woman as they wrote her. they weren’t thinking about that when they hired emeraude to play her (in fact, emeraude was chosen to play izzy because izzy is supposed to have “exotic beauty”), otherwise alec (and robert and max) wouldn’t be white. it doesn’t WORK

which gets us to: why are there so many actors of color playing characters who were originally white, and who were explicitly written as such, in sh?

i think the main reason sh had so many actors of color playing white characters is because it's cheaper

actors of color, particularly immigrants, can get lower salaries because they dont have the same opportunities as other actors. for the same price you could get a bad white actor, you can get a reasonable actor of color, but most studios choose the white actor anyway. sh hired many actors of color because then they could get better actors for a lesser price, and it fit the whole "woke, there is rep in it" vibe the show was going for

that's my two cents, of course. i dont have proof of that but i think its highly likely that's what happened.

so that puts the racial relations in this particular fandom in a unique perspective. because the characters are white and that shows in writing, but due to the fact that the actors ARENT, the fandom still sees them with racial bias, so it's a loose and complicated intersection. i’ve seen plenty of racist depictions of izzy in fandom, so much so that i got triggered by the way she’s written as a sexual object for white people, the way she’s written as servicing in ships with white women and men and her pain and abuse is fetishized, among other things

so it’s a very complicated and particular situation, but as a whole, for these characters, the racism comes from the fandom, not from the writing. because they are written as white, i consider them white, but that doesn’t mean that the fandom treatment of them can’t be influenced by racist views and stereotypes.

in short: in the sh universe, they are white, but to the viewers, they might not be, so they’re still subjected to racist treatment in fandom. there’s a disparity between their race in-universe and outside of it, and that creates unique intersections and views and writing of these characters

(this doesn’t apply to every character who was originally white and played by an actor of color; luke, for example, isn’t explicitly written as white at any point, so i consider him black. but izzy, lorenzo, maryse, camille, and others, were written as white, so i consider them white)

(besides, white actors play poc all the time, so why the fuck not have it be the other way around for once)

and look i mean obviously it's perfectly valid to hc those characters as poc and write them as such, especially in aus, but to me that’s that, a hc (well except for Lorenzo because hc-ning him as a poc when he explicitly was their oppressor historically is frankly disrespectful, and I'm not saying that because i dont like him, im saying that because thats how i see it), and not a fact in the writing & story

and that’s my take basically

#this is long and useless but oh well #sh #discourse #anti izzy lightwood #kinda #not really but a little bit

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sirjustice232-blog · 4 years

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Got to know dude

Dear mama please we give you that name to keep ya head up high that we mind ya, Dont allow any1 with a grenade down the now spring in the bush at Bar Kalare or defecate or urinate on it as we use it even in cosmetics, facial wash and cleanser as scrubs to do the same purpose described in the tumblr a/c sirjustice199. That water built Kansas City, MO with its environs dude. Keep an eye on it dude thats why many who live their where brought from the USA 4 the same purpose bro, the like of Delan and Kebi.

The already dug holes leading to the below of the earth should be Gazetted and camera placed to capture all that happens around such fissures as the videos placed like in computer 24/7, 365 for the public to see or witness. Some people go as eating in peoples houses to get the last glimpse of such people character to act as a precedent to be with them later in good life or not and some are even chased 4 the same, so they write 4 the public to know, so don’t rush to criticize the same, as that can save them out of hell fire as question that day will be, if u want us to acquit y of hell fire, then, well, what did you do to others, Please give us your account in detail. Wait until the people who lived with me to die to give u my helping hand a/c as they fear to be in hell fire immediately rather be in custody dude

Russians love free things from people,in that if that friend has became sturbon to offer the same, they resort,kinda, walking with him to reach out to his pocket if he can realize,if u can they can kill ya if u still wanna be with them and not offering the same offer u did previously, so u disassociate with them as even u can leave them in ya house and if u got a pretty wife they long to do the same to her to find out if they are still accepted to survive which if all Lupe holes blocked, kinda, they wish the ground to break and swallow them alive as the Luo got that character so in times futurity benefit from Russians or claim that pride if the Russian people win to get respect which now aint the case as seen dude, better change ya tactics dude

Guyana and Filipino people knows well their ears aint the same and are not ashamed, still want to 1st and geared towards hard work as opposed to the Luo tribe, change dude or change will change ya, they don’t claim other tribes being them. Accept ya self dude as well as those fellows with gap between their teeth, accept ya tools and limitations don’t transfer such blames to others as u want only to say they are ya roots dude yet obvious not bro

Clinton Ave Building structures in Minneapolis link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+building+on+cliton+ave+in+minneapolis&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjygZ3wxvHpAhVmx4UKHeQ0A6YQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1024&bih=654#imgrc=veEn-EtYkH9APM

The casket or Coffin that can be carried on handle without breaking as this elevates a certain spirit as calm u down as shows respect to the dead rather than that they are just maridadi and casket carried from below to signify short-coming can be made this way, Metallic hard plate or mesh, placed bellow the bedding/ casing the corpse rest on with protruding end to the casket holders name above, with that in mind if u carry the coffin the metallic plates a above hold the dead man weight as it carries the corpse not the wooden casket if it so cause now we got metallic. Dude hard to explain but u got it now as in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=inside+of+a+casket+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjerPmEyfHpAhUHkxQKHdEHBEcQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=654

Now as Russia behaves as described above, their land is poor or not or just character. Take heed dude maybe they want to hear that bro.

The coolers made in parts like in Coleman industries of Ohio situated like in Wichita, KS, Can be made not in parts in the boom process where u place maize seed or cob or its photo or part of broken 1 and boom the cooler made eradicating that sector in the company rendering employee jobless as those who can talk to the devil having the day as increase cooler makers reducing the price which is a blessing in disguise. When the above is fathomed you see in mental picture white men carrying the same as hawker selling such as that is the way 4ward to cement de truth the rich also cries as their dubious deals all blocked as selling drugs with people knowing how such are made. In fact now even cutting grass or washing dishes aint a black mans job but Mr white not as previously regarded menial job

China now make improved many light inside the normal bulb that can take upto 5-10 years in lighting without getting burnt up, to thwart the moves of many wanting large population championing many kids to increase the number of household to buy such to get much profits like with Rusia. So if in ten years yearly u, used like 4 bulbs on 1 bulb holder and maybe ya house got 6 such image the reduction in profitability if u will not replace that bulb 4 the above stipulated time meaning thwarted above moves of like wanting early marriages and high population 4 the same like in the link below

https://www.bigshineenergy.com/why-we-dont-recommend-plug-and-play-led-lighting/

The below in the link as well are made artificially in the way described below to be sold to company as harvest making those dubious farmers reap huge dude and with sugar cane, they shower the cane with muddy water to bring home reality they were harvested, reasons why many aspires to be in those nations and stick in power, so the bottleneck is bar private farmers of cane, sisal and tea or coffee from growing such to stop that illicit behavior above.

http://www.zakenya.com/agriculture/the-main-cash-crops-in-kenya.html

With the well elaborate explanation below of how countries dubious activities are finished or economies dwarfed, kinda, to remind ya of reality, u came to see a black shadow enveloping 1 nation from another as being painted black, to signal the black horse in the book or revelation as those nations the shade pass are disadvantages in 1 way or the other as explained in tumblr a/c sirjustice199. Got to believe it dude as per the doubting Thomases as in the link below

https://www.ministrysamples.org/excerpts/THE-THIRD-SEALTHE-BLACK-HORSE-REVELATION.HTML

Moses was placed in River Arkansas in Wichita KS, back then that housed the Pharaoh dynasty. Belive it or not dude, the above is a reminder.

The Children/kids building that houses the hell fire is located on Chicago Ave, Sheep and goat parable another version to take ya home or Christ with little children as in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=our+saviour%27s+shelter+minneapolis+outside+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi0sNaa1O_pAhU7AGMBHR_mDX8QsAR6BAgGEAE&biw=1024&bih=654

https://www.shelterlist.com/city/mn-minneapolis

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.emporis.com%2Fimages%2Fshow%2F716516-Large-fullheightview-view-to-the-northwest-across-chicago-avenue.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.emporis.com%2Fbuildings%2F306511%2Fchildrens-specialty-center-minneapolis-mn-usa&tbnid=TjUiEK09mpdajM&vet=12ahUKEwirwKai2O_pAhWSwYUKHR6vCwoQMygEegUIARCyAQ..i&docid=KAoX7hYN20PzqM&w=800&h=600&q=list%20of%20building%20on%20Chicago%20Avenue%20South%20Minneapolis&client=firefox-b-d&ved=2ahUKEwirwKai2O_pAhWSwYUKHR6vCwoQMygEegUIARCyAQ

http://www.archfieldoffice.com/architecture/childrens-hospitals-and-clinics-of-minnesota/

Hole of Babylon was not tower of Babylon, as no tower can go past 400, 000 km that rockets get to but still no God seen so how with any building that cant go past 1 KM lest collapse b4 reaching that height dude as described in the above tumblr a/c is off the evergreen residence just next to the road bridge the crosses the railway line where, kinda,if u look down turn/twist ya head dude. Visit Minneapolis 4 the same to stop reproaches dude as in the link below

https://www.cctwincities.org/locations/evergreen-residence/

Christ on the cross after death, signaling us of the same, by looking down as looking at that hole, was in the middle to signify Minneapolis as police arrests people. The pole he hanged on gone down to hold him up to foster reality as women shouted release Barnabas as sex in the twin cities and Wichita is sweet as he was looking chini as down. Lazarus and Rich-man was at bar kalare along time but with not that name at that time. Plane uses gas as well it tells us, boxes cut like Rhombus place in hay, dough in the boom process make bases and more etc

With ya less eating and monitoring folks like what have u come out with as can help masses or save the world that u want people to emulate ya, bul-shit go to hell dude, with me as in sirjustice199 tumblr a/c i have told the world how gadgets are made, Medication and more and checking on the net the same practical machines and food as well as artificial drugs have been made. Go to hell u of little mind with no-sense. If u stay a way from others kids is when ya mind opens, so the white man knows the same to incite the local to do the reverse to ya.

Now their is no threat dude, we have known how to make gadgets, foods or medicine as placed above, so though we destroy the earth race the world will still move cause now even hard labour would not be around as machines replaces such but ignited fire when u contemplate the same to remind ya of the Minneapolis saga dude. Mary of ya own race or tribe to avoid the same as we give not hoot now ends as u r reminded of reality dude.

I would that I could be with you phrase to tell ya, Money gotten off 2goinvoice kills if u play mean as not generous with people and withdraw much out of it, is just about to keep ya going as i destroys ya body and takes ya to hell if you do practice its safeness described above

After stepping up ya 1-6 volts from the starter comp rotating magnet inside rotated by cooker timer to give ya like 30 volts then use again the step up transformer in the link below to step it up to 120-240 to be used in ya household or business premise, make such below and place inside ya electric gadgets like TV sets, Stereo, blenders, computers or using a technician as i have lost link to such already inscribed inside elcetronics etc

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/24V-36V-48V-60V-90V-110V_60694752126.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.5.77ee5ac0wwTMfU

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/DC-DC-3V-5V-12V-to_62522642802.html?spm=a2700.wholesale.deiletai6.1.3587289dBDqXAX

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/500W-DC12V-24V-18V-to-AC18V_60408059068.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.1.f78415b5BvtBmK

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/DC-DC-High-Voltage-45-390V_60773885074.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.7.2a4d69f6HEdftq

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/XL6019-DC-DC-Step-Up-Converter_62521999902.html?spm=a2700.wholesale.deiletai6.9.3587289dBDqXAX

Mlk Daughter speech, ask her of the same cause i aint Mlk which u now force

yesterday I missed ya trap of being cut, 2day i dont know what it holds 4 me, lets wait and see dude, wanting peoples food, my tumblr a/c sirjustice199, how machines parts made, Robinson and Putin trap

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=mlk+daughter+speech

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redpaperowl · 4 years

Text

I'm ill.

Apparently breaking dawn 2 is on netflix and I've never seen it. Lets do this.

This opening. This production crew had way more belief in what they were making than they should have this is fucking stunning.

"we're the same temperature now"... Dead

"wait, you need to get your thirst under control" it's like him saying that made her suddenly go OW YEAH MY UNCONTROLLABLE THIRST OWWWW EDWARD OW

"bella dont" just fucking grab her. Dick.

I get she's a vampire now but like isnt she worried about idk landing someplace awkward or ripping her clothes or something nah fuck it jump off a cliff

"since when do you care about renesmee" edward and Jacobs shared glance of "you gon tell her or should i"

That baby face isn't as horrific as people I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK

"jacob shes doing great" jacob it's her fucking baby

Hahahahahaha bella grabbing Jacob by the neck like BAD DOG BAD DOG BAD DOG

Sure bella the nickname is the thing to be angry about here

Poor seth (who is seth again its been years since i last watched or read these)

Omg thats the cutest fucking little house I WANT IT. also this raises the question did the others not want their own places. Also that interior no.

Dont people get post baby depression... Shes also just become a vampire... Shouldn't she have post baby post life depression

I know im gonna regret asking this. If according to Meyer venom makes his dick work, what makes her areas work too... Is she just coated in venom or something

Man emmett is creepy in this one huh

Jacob "like hell am i letting you take my baby gf away you talk to yo dad bitch" whatever his last name was again

Urghhhhhhhhhh Charlie deserves so much better than all of this

Hahahaahaahaa jacob getting naked "you dont live in the world you think you do" i want a version of this all with charlies inner monologue ie whats this dumbass kid doing now am i gon have to arrest him for drugs and or public nudity

"ok i got it" ms madam you certainly do not got it

Omg he wants to hug his daughter so bad someone fucking look after charlie

"lets give them some privacy" SHES A NEWBORN VAMP WHAT IF SHE KILLS HIM WTF

"i wanna know what happened to you" "i cant tell you" she joined a cult

"a very large dog" i love you charlie

What the fuck is that baby

WHY CAN HER CHILD JUST FLY?

God the views out the cullens windows my god

"i have to report a crime... The cullens" michael sheens WHAT ABOUT BAES look

Man this feels rushed... Maybe its because IT WAS HALF OF A BOOK

OH MY GOD THE VISUALS WHEN THEY FLASHBACK TO IMMORTAL CHILDREN I WANT THIS TEAM WORKING ON A PROPER VAMPIRE FILM

We're back to these films being car adverts i see

"you can feel her warmth" "i can feel it"... And yet you let the others attack

Rami baby youre showing off and i love you

FROM THE AMAZON

Ok i like lee pace in this

GET IT GARRETT

Did Edward always wear hoodies or is this a new dad thing

YOU HAVE MY FANGS

"ow?" i love this vampire woman

"this ones on full power" omg Edwards face of bitch don let me down

Their eyes look so bloodshot bc of the gold contacts

How did Edward not smell a burning book

J James what is this marvel

Who is this guy and what is his accent

These Eastern european vampires are so oot its great

EVERYONE STAND IN YOUR PREARRANGED FAMILY SPOTS

"the redcoats are coming" garrett babe

I dont understand was she actually gonna send her away or not shes just there on the killing field with them

Me looking at the wolves: i want my cat

Michael sheen reign it in

Im sorry why did emmett just get dragged into that

OH MY GOD MICHAEL SHEEN BABY WHAT IS THIS FILM DOING TO YOU I REMEMBER YOU IN CLASSICS LIKE TIMELINE WHO PUT YOU IN THIS I HOPE YOU HAD FUN AT THE LEAST

MICHAEL SHEEN I DONT UNDERSTAND DID YOU JUST WANNA BE THE MAD HATTER OR SOMETHING "ALICE 😀"

Carlilse dad mode ACTIVATED

Sooo does becoming a vampire automatically mean you know how to fight? We've only seen bella train her shield stuff but shes holding her own against volturi

These cgi wolves need to stop i am gonna cry

Hahahaha bella "imma protect ma gurl alice for some pro revenge" cullen

Player aro has entered the game

Man who knew vampire heads just popped off like barbie dolls

LITERALLY NO ONE BUT ARO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NO ONE ELSE SAW THE VISION WHAT THE FUCK

Why are they all laughing at the eastern european vampire husbands theyre right this is not a laughable moment

"she's gonna be around for a long time isnt she" BITCH SHE GON OUTLIVE YOU

Creepy baby becomes creepy adult

Is that the same meadow again. Did the plants change

What the fuck since when can bella project thoughts what

All these memories... No skelator

Why were all her memories in 3rd person

Is jacob just their permanent babysitter now then

Ok then

#Twilight #Breaking dawn 2

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gladiogotdatbootio · 5 years

Note

miaxgladio 1, 4, 14, 19, 20, 38

1. How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Mia usually falls asleep face down on any comfortable surface they can get to. The comfortable surface is usually Gladio. This often happens after a long day and Gladio is chilled out reading, meaning that there is a lap for Mia to sleep in.

Waking up is different. No matter where Mia falls asleep in their apartment, they always wake up in bed, many hours after Gladio. This is because Gladio is a military man, so he has a strict morning ritual. He is up, works out, eats breakfast and showers all before Mia even bothers to think about waking up. At which point they might, MIGHT sleepily walk to the kitchen to dry eat cereal out of a box.

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

I think both Mia and Gladio believe far more in lust at first sight then love. While Gladio is a hopeless romantic (dont at me), he is definitely a little wary when it comes to love. His job requires a lot of sacrifices and that can leave partners behind. Mia on the other hand has been burned a lot, and tends to poke at a person before fully committing to this love thing.

Gladio’s first impression of Mia has everything to do with how easy it is to talk to Mia, and seeing that they aren’t connect to Glaives or Royal family, his status isn’t immediately obvious. He is also drawn to their natural fun energy.

Mia’s first impression was: hot damn thats a big guy. They probably watched him for a moment. Figure out what type of guy he is, though their general first impression are “he seems interesting would like to get to know more”

14. Anything they both dread?

OH YEAH

For Gladio, one thing he dreads is the responsibilities he has as an Amicitia, and how they will effect his relationship. If you AU or follow Alt Ignis story, and Noct lives, then Gladio still has responsibilities as a shield. He wants to be a good shield, but you can tell in Episode Gladio that he also struggles with wanting stuff for himself. I imagine he fights a hard battle of his wants vs his responsibilities.

The other thing is children. Gladio, without a doubt wants kids, and not knowing how to bring that conversation up to someone who is trans and might now ever be able to have kids due to hrt. He dreads discussing it with Mia because he doesn’t know how they will react.

Mia’s dread is that Gladio wont come home. They know what he does and his job is quite literally to put himself in harms way to protect Noctis. They fear that one day, despite his training and abilities, he wont come home.

19. What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

Gladio and Mia rarely argue, but when they do its full blown. Both are passionate and both can be quite hot headed. Usually their fights are the products of miscommunications, or misunderstandings. The biggest being class differences. Mia grew up poor, lived on the streets and had to fight tooth and nail to recover from drug addiction and become who they are, while Gladio grew up wealthy, but with all the expectations that upperclass positions have. This can lead into certain situations where its hard for one side to see the other sides point of view. But eventually they make up. Usually with a romp as a bonus.

20. What does their home look like? Their room?

When they finally move into together, I see them living in a condo more so then a house. Since Gladio’s decoration style is pretty spartan, most of the decor is Mia’s idea. So lots of grunge, but fashionable grunge as Gladio does have some taste and say. They each have their own work space. Gladio’s has workout equipment and book shelves and a place to read and write. Mia has their music room, or as Gladio refers to it, “the zone of no return.” As if anything goes in that room, it wont be seen again.

38. What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

CRACKS KNUCKLES. Alright Guys, Gals and Non-binary pals lets get into the nitty gritty

I have them both pegged (heh) as switches, but Mia leans more towards dom and Gladio more towards sub. So Gladio defo gets pegged, but its not always a bdsm thing. For Mia, being trans its gender euphoric to fill the role of top, and its not like Gladio doesn’t get anything out of it. They are both pretty open minded towards each others kinks and bondage, pain-play, and sensory deportation are usually at the tops.

I personally think Gladio has a secret petplay kink. Just the option to be a pup instead of the shield and get pets and treats and be told he is a good boy is probably mighty appealing to him.

Im probably one of the only people who thinks Gladio doesn’t have a daddy kink, but that because he took care of Iris, who probably called him dad or daddy but mistake a few times while she was super young. So being called daddy in the bedroom squicks him out a bit.

#Gladiolus Amicitia #Mia Kalmen #GladioXMia #WOW this is longer then i thought #Anonymous

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hirakdesherrani · 5 years

Text

EBSS 12/7

1. The episode starts with the Amma-Pooja scene.

I am so glad that Pooja is giving money to charity. Since the 16th May (I think?) episode where Jahnvi manipulates PK to donate land for a hospital for the poor, I've always assumed that Pooja will use PKs money for good cause. Pooja's causes are also pretty specific, and I like this. First time, the hospital was her Dada's dream. Today, it was for orphans. Probably, because she herself is an orphan and connects to them. Pooja donates for causes she believes in, which have some connection with her life. But I still find it strange for her to run PK's business, I always thought she would give it away to the hospital. It seems like writing contradiction to me. "Maine Mittals ke saath jo kia, uske baad woh mujhe award toh nahi denge"🤣

I cracked up so bad at this. The best thing about this show, is the humor. Mostly, the writers have maintained it, and I have enjoyed the sass, snark of all characters, even Manohar, everyone except Chaachi who is not funny at all.

2. Okay next was the Jai-Dhruv-Kabir scene. I really liked the Kabir-Jai scene. I think lonnnng back I'd said that the show lacks brotp scenes, so I am glad that they are making up for it.

Coming to Dhruv, I kinda ffwded his scene, but I got the gist. I think the one person, whose life would probably not recover from this shock is Dhruv. I do feel, Pooja should apologize to him, at the end of the show, whatever the end is. Until they make her into a negative character. Thats a different story.

However, POOJA SHOULD NOT RETURN TO DHRUV. I don't believe in this patriarchal idea of male entitlement that just because the man loves the woman, she should accept it, and remain with him. NO, AND NO. This is totally against consent and agency. I didn't like Rani forcing herself on Kabir too.

There is another reason why I think Dhruv and Pooja don't suit at all. When Pooja's father was murdered, she was a kid, despite that she went through all hardships to provide for her sister. She kept the revenge alive in her heart but did not give up, and struggled against life.

Look at what Dhruv is doing. He is a grown up man, whose family depends on him. He (and Kabir) are the working men of the family. I understand depression forced people into alcoholism and drugs often, and I don't want to be judgmental about it. But atm Dhruv cannot afford depression. It will be rather costly for him and and his family.

The point is Pooja and Dhruv are very different people. Pooja would never respect a man like Dhruv who crumbled so easily in the face of difficulty, while she succeeded and struggled even as a kid. If your partner doesn't respect the relationship, would never work out.

I will be terribly disappointed if the CVs make JanRuv endgame, because it sends a wrong message that a woman cannot reject a man's love, whatever be the circumstances, and its a toxic thing to show in our already extremely patriarchal society.

Pooja should apologize to Dhruv for using him, and that's it. NO JANRUV.

3. Okay every time Suman, comes up on my screen I feel like throwing something. I just absolutely abhor her character. I mean, how lacking do you have to be in conscience?? She didn't apologize to Pooja? Fine, but at least she can apologize to her sons. Both her sons are suffering because of her. If she had at least had the courage to disclose the truth about PK to Kabir long back, then he would have tried to compel PK to hand himself over to law. It would not have come to this.

Suman, Dadaji, Chanda are doubly guilty. First, they hid the truth about PK, to protect their family, and second they hid the truth from Kabir also. Even two days before the incident, if Dadaji had told Kabir the truth when he asked the former, then Kabir would have forced PK to accept his crime before law. Who knows maybe Pooja would have stopped before taking the extreme step of attempting murder.

I can't believe what kind of dheent people these are. On top of that, Suman was bitching about Pooja. Mummyji zara apne girebaan mein jhaank lo. She should be glad that Pooja only made them homeless, and did not try to burn down Dadaji, Suman and Chaachi, like they burned her down.

If only she at least accepts her crimes properly before Kabir, maybe he will also soften towards Pooja. He keeps saying, 'meri family' meri family', beta half of your family is complicit in the crime and should be in prison.

4. I liked the Jai-Kabir-Sonali scene. I always like sibling bonds, and the junior Mittals at least should be happy. Again towards Chanda, I have the same feeling like towards Suman, so no comments there.

5. Coming to the main scene, Kabir-Pooja scene, and Rani too.

Since yesterday, the writers are bringing it back to revenge plane. Like I said before I felt Pooja was acting really immature, but now I can see where she is coming from. Today also, she said about how she had to wash utensils as a domestic servant, and work as a waitress to provide for her sister. All that because Kabir's father murdered her father. Is her punishing Kabir for his father's actions wrong? Yes. But it makes sense with her character till now (point to note that Amma tells her that she is not right in this thinking).

I think Pooja always had a thing about breaking someone's pride. She did it with PK, making him wash widow's feet publicly. She tried to do it with Kabir too, by throwing the uniform, and I am glad that Kabir caught it. He is also right that he won't bend before her, and he shouldn't because he is not his father, who should suffer.

I have one problem with Kabir-Pooja scenes (apart from the fact that they are kinda petty). I hate the khandaani rayeez barbs which Kabir throws at Pooja mocking her poverty.

Why I don't like this, is because its bad writing. Kabir, who actively took a stand against his father's regressive views. and who makes efforts to be socialist and mix with workers, is making fun of Pooja's poverty?

From where I see it, Kabir mocking Pooja comes from a place of feudal entitlement and its fundamentally classist and elitist.

It is also inconsistent with Kabir's socialist attitude towards workers, and makes it look like Kabir is using the workers for his benefit, harping about equality with them, while saying that Pooja must be used to poverty.

Yesterday's scene for example, Kabir switched the tiffins and distributed the food among workers made sense to me. He was also right that one should not waste food. What I didn't like was Kabir putting stones in her food, saying she must be used to it. It was distasteful and very poorly done. without that addition, the scene would have been perfect. What Kabir implied, was that Pooja is poor, and she should remain poor, be used to poverty, that's really classist of Kabir. Specially, when she is poor because of his Dad murdering Pooja's Dad, Kabir's action seem to justify PK's crimes.

Even in today’s episode, when Pooja told Kabir about her struggles, Kabir was unaffected by it. Again, it seemed to imply that he doesn't care what she has suffered because of her father.

I am not saying Kabir should tolerate Pooja's humiliation, or not try to get back his family property. What annoys me, is that he shows absolutely zero emotion about Pooja's struggles.

I don't know whether its how Kabir's written, or is it Zain? I expected some expression, softening of eyes, or a little look of guilt. But nothing. Zilch. I know from Naamkarann, that Zain is much more expressive actor than this. So, I don't think its a performance choice, is it?

I hope CVs tone down this inconsistency. Kabir can fight back, but these jibes about nouveau riche and poverty does not tally with his character.

We know where Pooja's coming from, and given her grey character, it still makes sense, but it doesn't make sense for Kabir.

#ek bhram sarvagun sampanna #ebss #my stuff

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audible--silence · 3 years

Text

Words from the north - the whole unedited note from my phone

Words from the north

Watching the sunset over the Cape range tunes. A light yellow through to dark blue gradient swings through the sky with a string of Aqua running down the centre a single star sits above as a full moon shines lightening up the town of Exmouth after a day spent in the sun in the sand

I am convinced the only difference between the average joe and a poet is one pays attention to life, understands the dictionary and writes things down

From the one day the conditions called for hoodies and cameras rather than wetsuits and surfboards

Smelling like mosquito spray, salt water and sweat is a way of life

Surf forecast up here looks like sitting in SoSo looking out the window staring at a palm tree to figure out what the wind is doing and asking ya mates that walk in the door “hows the surf?”

You know you’re doing something right when you start feeling guilty for all the fun you’re having

And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kooks

From that one time we thought itd be a good time to be homeless together for a week. By the end of it we were somewhere between brothers, lovers and mortal enemies all at once

#fucktony

#whothefuckistony

Sea’s of red dirt and shrubs for hours and hours and hours on end

Karijini

The sound of birds chirping, the wind rustling through the tall grass and the camp fire crackling away as the sun hides away behind the towering mountains im front of us. Shades of purple, red and yellow take over from the normal red, green and blue that make up the scene. I relax into a camp chair as twilight starts to take over. Indi is editing photos while Noems takes charge of dinner. Despite many attempts at offering help, we were both benched from kitchen duties. Another day of adventure comes to a close and the contentment sets in alongside the anticipation of what tomorrow may hold

Worth the wakeup knock on the car at 4am in the freezing cold

Worth the bitter windchills knocking our balance on the slippery rocky path up in the dark

Worth racing the sun to the top of the mountain

Worth choosing between having my fingers warm or my camera in my hand

Worth struggling to see by the light of a phone torch

Worth not feeling my fingers for two hours

Worth it for the golden yellow and blue light peeling over the horizon

Worth it for the feeling of being awake and alive before the sun is up

Worth it for the view of the cliffs side

Worth it for seeing the wind blasting trees

Worth it for the view from the top

Worth it for the oranges on the way down

Worth it for the tunes and singalongs

Worth it for the smoked salmon croissants

Worth it for the snacks and the beers in the carpark

But first, let me check my engine oil 🤙

You can tell where all our money went when you look at us, none of it went into shoes

At a fucked up level though thats just evolution. The strongest survive (colonialism)

“But what are ya gonna do with that information though? Just make your own meaning and chase that” (on the topic of the meaning of life)

The ritual of fires every evening after a days adventure and then every morning to boil the water for our coffee before we go again

The grit that came off my skin

The knots that became of my hair

The red dust that washed off me as I stepped into the first bit of hot water id felt in what felt like a very long time

The black under my finger nails

The red and yellow stains on my hands that the soap didnt wash off.

The holes in my shorts, tshirts and sweater

The red stains on my towel after drying my face

The rash on my face after shaving

Tilting your head back in ya camp chair to escape the heat of the roaring campfire and getting a glimpse at the sky absolutely glowing with stars was a constant reminder of how fucking good we’d got it

And you say sheeeeeesh

nice garyyyy

“Oi dad, what are ya doin?”

“25 ak47’s and a piece of plywood, thats what im doin”

Im in full travel mode now. All i think about is whens my next meal, when do i have work and hows the surf. Also wheres my weed.”

This post brought to you by…

All my friends do lots of drugs

“Ya livin the dream ya lucky shit” - taes dad, post

surf

An observation about all the people you see on social media who you idolize in some capacity: when you meet them in real life, no matter how much idolization or importance you think they carry, when you meet them in person, they all still behave like normal people

I’ve completely left behind my old way of life.

I’ve forgotten what its like to go to a bar.

To dress cool.

To think about what im wearing.

To think about impressing people.

To think about who to see.

To think about what event to choose from.

I’ve forgotten what its like to look up at tall buildings.

To see lots of concrete.

To walk past unfamiliar faces that dont smile when you walk past them.

To order coffee in a takeaway cup.

To eat nice food.

To see my friends at pica bar for drinks at the last minute plan

There came a time about two months in where i began to get over it all.

Doing dishes with a water bottle and a tea towel that smelt like smoke. Sitting in the drivers seat on your phone, tired because you dont want to have to brush your teeth with a water bottle and climb like a contortionist into your car’s bed every night. Sick of having to plan when i want to take a shit. Sick of having to set up and pack down my kitchen every time i want a coffee or some lunch.

Sick of not having anywhere to be but knowing im in one of the most beautiful places in the world and feeling a burning pressure to see it all. Sick of having to buy ice every two days

Sick of emptying water from my esky

Sick of laundromats and planning how long I’ll last on a single outfit

Sick of worrying if im spending too much time sitting in the cafe

Sick of being the tag along in everybody else’s group of mates

Sick of drinking beer every shift

As time goes by, you learn the intricacies of a place. Where all the rocks are on the track to the camp. Who in the carpark not to wave at and who to have a chat to. Where and when to be to get a free drink. How to steal a shower. When

More and more i find while living out of my car thst routine is important. Something to ground you. For me, its making coffee out of the car, no matter how inconvenient it is. Before inevitably giving up and buying an oat flatty at soso. - talk more about habits

Some things that dont grow old:

Seeing the surf going off

Seeing familiar faces out and about

Turtles next to you in the water

Whales breaching in the distance

The moon rising over the ocean or the ranges

The sky full of stars when the moon doesn’t shine

The sun and the warmth no matter the season

Town beach hangs with good crew

The feeling of a shower after a few days of salt water

The people at work

The chats at work

Free beer at work

The life in the oceans

The vibe of fun

Never knowing where you’re gonna end up after you wake up

Whatd you see when you nearly died?

A big pair of tittys and a snickers bar

The moon rises in front of me for the third night in a row. I watch it from my car, a leftover slice of pizza from work in one hand and my phone in the other. Im one of the very few people lucky enough to witness this insanely beautiful sight and yet it feels in this moment it feels unextraordinary. How spoilt with wonder must you be for this to feel normal. The same goes for this whole place. This is paradise and right now this is home. This is standard. Only when I get back to Perth and am able to look back with the 20/20 vision that is hindsight and realize just how special it all was.

I wish I was more conscious at the hour of 6am, snug in my bed, parked in the bush as the sun rises over the bay in front of me. An explosion of pink and gold dominates the sky, shining through the bushes and the trees around me. The sound of the waves crashing behind the birds chirping. An easterly wind rustles lightly through the trees. I’m so sure it’s beautiful. If only I was awake to take it all in.

Instead, i roll over and try and escape the golden light for a minute or two more.

Hey siri play lots of nothing by spacey jane

Sometimes Id like not to feel like a fugitive when i take a shower, other times, the stars as my landlord is a pretty good deal

Its not a mistake its a decision

Maker of questionable decisions

I dont wanna face this day for fear of what will come. For I know how good it can be, and I know the fuckery that this day holds

Holy fuck thats a lot of cars

Yeah its cos nobody fuckin lives anywhere

To be fair I’d stalk you

A happy change of plans

Like all good road trips, this one started out with unfortunate circumstance, poor planning and a significant lack of caution. We planned for months to leave WA and drive across the nullabor, up through NSW and into QLD and at the 11th hour, three days before we were due to leave, we find out that covid has closed the borders. Again.

So with a house I had already moved out of, a plan in shambles on behalf of a big bad virus, and a car all prepped and ready to leave, we did the only reasonable thing to do. Changed course by a few thousand km’s and headed north with no idea what we would do, where we would sleep, what we would eat, where we would stay, who we would hang with and where we would surf.

Our first day saw lots of last minute preparations, plenty of driving to all manner of songs and podcasts from everything to the worlds dumbest grifters to Australian alcoholics talking about orgasms. I shut the door on 25 Chatham Road for the last time. We drove through familiar and unfamiliar roads. Memories of standing on the side of these very roads ripe in my mind. Except this time, with my whole life in the backseat of the car, in a setup Reubs and I built. Hell of an upgrade from a backpack and a thumb. After hours of rolling green hills, that resembled what I imagine new zealand to look like we parked up on the side of the road. Very true to form. We set up the tent, brushed our teeth and had dinner in the form of a banana and a beer and then got to bed as the sun set. I woke up at 25 Chatham and now I find myself falling asleep somewhere between Northampton and Kalbarri in my car.

“Traveling is just tetris on wheels mate”

No matter how far away you travel to try and escape modern society, if you look up at night, you will still see a satellite and you will be reminded that no matter where you go, you are a member of a species that can get itself to space

Shit i like:

Squeezing kenny

Cooking in car parks

Paying for wifi and toilets with beer or hot chocolates

Surfing. All day

Chatting shit

Brownies

Staring at the stars

Dunes

Eating brownies, chatting shit and staring at the stars under the shade at dunes.

Hunters

Making new friends everywhere

Chatting to literally everyone

Having nowhere to be and never thinking about home

Telling Tony to get fucked

Surfing bombie and paddling back in twilight glassy waters

Dinners and laughs with friends in the whalebone carpark

Breaking into RAC for a shower

Coffee dates at soso

Waking up to ben packing a tent

Laughing till my ribs hurt

Tonic water with lime

No internet for weeks

Chatting to esther and alice at dunes

Staring at groms wiping out

Carpark hangs

Never having an empty passenger seat

Never being able to see out the rear view mirror

Never being alone

Cooking in the carpark opposite the cop shop

Drying shit on the car every time we parked

Listening to lots of nothing a million times

Chaos at froth consisting of surprise drinks, random chats and boats

And the curtain closes.

On two months and nine days of nonstop adventure and fun. Unpredictable, unprecedented fun. The people you met were of a caliber I’d not encountered and never considered to be my own but from the get go and proved time and time again over the course of my time up north, they were.

I dont know how I’m going to fare when I get off this plane in two hours and have to see my parents, exist in cold weather, deal with a broken car, find a place to call home, figure out a new job and find my way with my friends who I can never be the same with after this.

The wheels are up. Fleeting views of the ningaloo coast and the cape range out each side of the planes window; a farewell of what I’m going to be missing. The red dirt and wildflowers underneath us where I’ve spent most of my nights sleeping look exactly as they always are. Untouched and still. I know I’ll be back soon. I’ve got so much more to see. So many more people left to meet. So many more memories left to make. So many more waves left to surf. So many more beers left to pour. So many more sunsets left to see.

Exmouth, for two months you sure have changed me.

Tiger,

I dont know your history brother but if i had to take a look into your past im guessing id see a lot of pain, chaos, missing love and bad mates who dont know that they’re bad.

You’re a good dude man im so fuckin sure of it but you seem so hell bent on starting a fight and proving a point. To whom i dont know. Your break up has obviously destroyed you and your coping mechanism is alcohol and trying to get with women. You’re incredibly kind and generous to your friends and a fierce antagonist to anyone who isn’t. You need help and you know it but you dont know how to find it or who to ask.

The hardest thing about you is that you need to change your whole view of life. Theres more than you think to it. I know there’s someone in there waiting to be found. I wanna be the guy holding the torch while you search.

You’re a good guy,

I dont wanna see you get killed by some drunk in a fight or waste yourself away in a bottle and a job you hate because you didn’t know there was another option.

0 notes

jvj246018 · 3 years

Text

Next day

I pull my aching body from the comfort of my sheets and strat rummaging through my chest of draws settling in an oversized plane black t shirt and faded blue skinny jeans it was going to be a long day she knew it just by the feel of the morning after pulling on her flat riding boots on and grabbing a black jacket and her purple handbag/ back pack its one of those multi functional / compasidy bag that can hold literally everything perfect for my slaying gear and of cause my school supplies.

Grabbing my mobile placing it in my bag and quickly doing my make-up just light done to hide the bags under my eyes and the fact that I slept for literally 3 hours.

Then I head down to the kitchen where I hear Aunt Jenna toast I can make toast

Elena : it's all about the coffee aunt Jenna

Jeremy: is there coffee

Me : there's always coffee.

Oh aunt jenna have you forgotten about your meeting thing?

Jenna : that's at crap now...

Me : Go will be fine right guys

Jeremy huh .

Elena: of cause we will be.

Oh Nicki are you coming to school with me and Bonnie or making your own way?

Me : if it's cool with Bonnie I'd like a lift

Elena : I'll tell her it's both of us then.

Me : cool thanks .

In Bonnie's car.

Bonnie : so my Grams is telling me that I'm a psychic.

Me : maybe you are?

Bonnie : really not you too .Elena hey elena back in the car ..

Elena : oh god I did it again didn't I.

Me : its okay Elena we get it

Elena : you were saying that ?

Bonnie: that I'm physics now.

Elena : then product something somethings about me.

Bonnie : I see ..

Crack ..

Me : was that a bird ?

Elena : uhm.

Bonnie : yeah it was like a bird I'm so sorry guys.

Elena : it's okay we can't be freaked out by cars forever.

Bonnie: I predict that this year will be kick ass and all the sad and dark times are over and you two will be beyond happy.

Then we get back on the road and arrive at the school when Bonnie starts again.

Bonnie: total lack of male reliastate , oh wow look at the shower curtin..

That's where I choose to stop listening I don't like ragging on people's cloths it's not cool regardless of weather they appear to be wearing a shower curtin that's their perogative.

I'm pulled from my thoughts by Elenas whine he hates me.

Bonnie : that's not hate thats you dumped me and I'm to cool to show it but secretly I'm listening to air supply's latest hits .

Me : she's right he doesn't hate you.

Maybe you are psychic?

Bonnie : umhum.

Wait who's that ?

Elena : all I see is back.

Bonnie : that's a hot back, I'm scencing seattle he and he plays a guitar

Me : not gonna drop this are you.

Bonnie: nope I'm pretty much going to run it into the ground.

Care: oh my god Elena Nicki your here how are you, how are they are they good

Me : yes we're fine

Elena : much better.

Care : you poor things she says as she breezes past us into her other friends.

Elena : no comment.

The bell rings and we all go off to class I sit second left at the back because Tanner didn't want me helping Elena in class so here I sit the new guy is in front of me and there fore behind Elena. Tanner called on Elena and Bonnie and the new guy jumped to there rescue just as I was about to, I'm kinda glad because i was too tired to play the Knight in shining armor today, he even rubbed Tanners face in it. Harsh considering he was just trying to make them pay attention but it's was nice enough of him I think he's trying to let Elena know he's interested witch she already knows. But he might not know that so I'll give him some credit but you know I can't get this feeling that he's... there's something not right he feels old. He feels like Angle but different too he's the same and yet not. Deciding to shake that thought away since he's new and I'm supposed to be in class not in slayer mode not that I'm ever out of it but he's knew deciding I'll text Wilson see if he knows anything.

Its probably just my elevated paranoia but still.

I look down at my phone send a quick text and head to my next class without waiting for Elena since I'm in art next.

She has French on the opposite side of the school.

So I sit in my class drawing on to my canvas over the dry paint to draw a silhouette of the moon that I will paint later .

There's a few stems of trees too that will have leaves when I find my natural sponge.

I'm pulled from my thoughts by a text from Caroline.

Have you spoken to the new guy ?

I send her back a message No.

And continue as I ignore my phone after putting it on silent.

To continue the project scenary views the moon is the view from my window I have a picture to prove it.

My teacher loves that I work in the style of Bob Ross. So she's okay with me using it alot.

All in all I like this class it's a lesson where I don't have to hide just got to be me that's it.

The rest of the day went really quickly since I had double art and pe last. I found myself walking home to avoid the Stephen talk.

I also wanted to stop in to see Wilson see if he turned up anything.

Oh boy did he ever.

Inside Wilson's spacious but cluttered apartment he is sat at his desk I'm opposite him reading his ansesters diary on the Salvetor brothers. Getting frustrated I lean back into his blue arm chair using a ribbon as my book mark.

Wilson: Stephen is a ripper, a ripper that forces himself to eat animal blood to survive according to my ancestor he's actually a good guy when he's on the waggon.

But his brother Damon he's a peace of work. And determined to make Stephen suffer.

Me : grate. Anything else I should know ?

Wilson : not yet but if I find more I'll tell you.

Me : this is just grate Stephen is vampire that may aswell have a drug addiction and he brings his brother that takes glee in murder and all things that vampires reval in.

Wilson : you may have to kill them.

Me : yes only problem Stephen is Elenas new thing.

Ugh this will be hard.

Wilson : your going to need to cast a protection charm.

Me : grate how do I do that? I don't have a spell book the things I taught my self were just academy's that kept happening I learned to control them

Wilson : here, taking the offered book I check the index .

Chaper 5 page 156780. Right .

So herbs holy water vervain talismans will that work on them they are of a witch made line.

Wilson : humm yes just pay attention to the making talismans really understand what you want them to do.

Me : right okay what do I use ?

Wilson : stones crystals metal wood just about anything really.

Me : okay where's that book on stones and what there for?

As if he predicted it he handed it to me then he sat with me and we found the one that will make it so they have to be invited in every time they leave and come back.

With that in mind she started digging through the crystals making sure to have them represent an angle since they are strong representation of a protector.

Carful to choose the representation stone tigers eye for Jeremy, Lapis lazuli for Elena , strawberry quartz for Jenna and amethyst for me. I figure I'm lucky that he keeps these things he's abit of a pack rat.i smile as I think this.

Then I made one for the house to be kept by the front door and it had all 4 stones in it each one is made from stones and steel for durability.

Then Wilson drove me home and thanked me for all my help with the restoration of old books.

Jenna might know but Elena and Jer don't so secrets to be kept.

After hanging the houses talisman up then I had jenna her one I attached them to the keys jenna nodded understanding and then I give Elena and Jer theirs and they thank me Jer likes his and Elena dose too its nice.

I never hide the supernatural I just don't come right out and tell them either.

They would never believe me.

And Elena would want to help but that would probably get one or both of us killed. They know I believe in this stuff and they think I'm mad for it. One day they'll know I hope but for now I'll just be the crazy sister.

Pulled from my thoughts by a text from Carebear or Caroline depends who you ask.

You better be coming to the back to schools bash .

I text back

Yes I am I'm just debating on an outfit I'm thinking riding boots to below my knee thermal leggings black boots navy leggings black dress top.

And a leather jacked .

She beeps back no the swishy floral top I gave you for your last birthday.

Laughing at her since she's grate at this kind of thing I pull on the top she demanded I use, and then the rest of the outfit.

Pulling it back off placing it to one side I think I'll just wear it all day tomorrow that way no big change and frees me up but care would kill me so my burgundy long top in place of the floral top for school.

Same purple bag I take for everything always be prepared.

Then I did a cleansing to keep out the vampires that Elena might end up inviting in, but she they won't be able to get in and out as they please.

I love Care but her need to be popular is suffercating its why we don't have the whole BFF thing going we are but out of the lime light I'm the one she can just be herself with not even Bonnie can claim to have that.

We have sleep overs monthly and she catches up on everything and in-between Elena tells me her self absorbed versions care is definitely the more trust worthy for gossip but you need to take her exaggeration with a pinch of salt.

With that last thought Nicki found herself headed out to patrol. She just hoped that she wouldn't have to slay Stephen tonight that would be a major downer.

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clown-bait · 6 years

Text

29 Neibolt St (Monster Roommate AU) CH 13

GORE TIME!!! Guys I’ve been so excited to get to the murdering! Fluff is fun but nothing is more fun than gore fluff. So get ready for lots and lots of blood, destruction, fucking and combinations of all of those!

Chapter 13

Easier Said than Done

“Ok just lure them into the sewer and hopefully he’ll snap out of it when he smells food.”

Leech had been grumbling to herself for a while now trying to haul her eldritch horror clown boyfriend around the dark sewers of the town. He was still in a weird state like he'd been all night.The more she thought about it the more she realized its been weeks since he last fed, which suddenly explains the extreme moodiness. On top of near starvation the deadite incident had really rattled him, he was low on energy from fighting back so hard and his ego was severely bruised. The clown was in almost a catatonic state coming back to reality here and there to mumble something then retreating back to whatever dimension his brain was hiding in. He'd zone out like this on occasion when he was particularly hungry but it was never this bad before.

Leech collapsed against a wall the clown falling on top of her. She was stronger than the average human now but only after a good feed and it had been quite some time for Leech as well. She was worried she would die down here unable to hunt and too weak to fight back should the Kandarian Demons find her. Someone had to come along soon or she’d be in trouble. “Fuck what am I doing here Pen.” she mumbled in defeat gently propping him up against the wall. He must have sensed her fears as he was able to turn and place a giant hand on her leg “…..Rest…..feed…later…” she finally got as a response

“Wow, glad to see you’ve decided to join me. Where do you keep going anyway”

“…S-somewhere…. else….healing..”

“Oh we’re going to be cryptic now great”

“…rest…”

“Pen by the time you're back up and running everyone is going to be fucked and or dead. I know you'll be fine but the rest of us wont be.”

He had already returned to his resting state. It was rare that he needed to do this, only in cases of a bad injury. He'd vanish for a week or two and return hungry ready to kill. Leech didn't have a week.

“Come back to me when I catch something.”

She roamed the street alone still in her dress heels left at the sewer entrance. She had to find someone to lure or Pen would starve. A dive bar caught her attention, drunks were easy to trick maybe shed be able to persuade a few to….help her with her problem.

She roughed up her hair a bit and smeared some of the makeup on her face hoping that she looked like she was in distress enough for someone to believe her act. Show time.

“HELP someone please help!” Leech threw open the door screaming. A group of friends took notice, two guys and a girl, they rushed over to her.

“What the hell happened to you miss? Are you ok?” one of the guys said.

“My friend! She-she’s missing we were walking home and I had to pee but when I came back she was gone!” Leech shouted expecting an oscar for this performance.

“We’ll help you find her! Harry here will call the police” the girl said

“NO!” Leech panicked a bit cops were the last thing she needed “um you cant! I’m-we were high!”she was mentally kicking herself for that.

“How do we know you're not just some crazy druggie then?” Harry asked

“I'm not lying please we have to find her right now!” already making huge mistakes she thought to herself. Penny and Dracula would be making her start over by now if this was practice.

She led them down to the drain pipe the one guy and girl were hanging on each other the whole time and Harry was constantly trying to touch and comfort Leech “oh you'll be getting something buddy just not what you expected.” The vampire thought to herself when she felt the human touch her shoulder for a little longer than she would have liked.

“PENNY?” she called out hoping the clown would hear and come out of his rest.

“is that your friends name?” the girl Maddie asked

“What? Um yes!” another slip up she scolded herself.

“Penny!!” Maddie’s boyfriend Dan called out.

“She must have ran inside the sewer because… of the drugs!” Leech suggested she needed to split them up somehow so she could at least get one back to the clown “we should split up to search for her!”

“haven't you ever seen a horror movie? Thats how people die!” Dan shouted.

“Yeah what if theres some weirdo lurking down there that took her!” Maddie added

“Right! You're right wow what was I thinking” shit Leech cursed to herself.

She led them deeper into the drain praying that Pennywise would help her out with this shitty situation she got herself in. The vampire had to get one alone she couldn't take on 3 adult humans in this state. “What would Pennywise do” she thought aloud to herself.

“Pennywho? do you mean your friend penny?” asked Maddie

“What?”

“Your friend what would she do?” Leech was internally screaming at herself now.

“Oh um just thinking if I was her where would I go?” the poor vampire wanted to give up at this point.

Fuck what would Pennywise do. She thought again and she realized her answer. Fear duh! She needed to make them afraid so they would scatter and panic like wolf running through the center of a herd of sheep. She screamed loud trying to sound as genuinely as possible (and to wake that lazy ass clown up)

“SOMETHING TOUCHED ME” she shouted grabbing Harry’s arm

“It was probably just a cockroach or sewer rat” he said

“No I felt it on my back I-I think this place is haunted!” she shrieked

“Why would you think that?” he asked.

“Didnt you know this is where all those missing kids disappeared at!” Maddie spoke up.

“Missing kids?” dan asked.

“Oh shit! I heard of that!” Harry began “this place has the most amount of missing people in all the state!”

“Guys I don't like this maybe we should call the police…” Maddie was growing fearful. One down two to go.

Leech half faked a panicked frenzy running past the group screaming “OH GOD MURDERS????? WE HAVE TO FIND HER!” she had led them deep enough for the humans to easily get lost and hoped that now their fear would cause the group to split up.

Leech turned a hidden corner thinking she had lost them only to run smack into her servant Jim who had been looking for her after the party.

“FUCK! JIMBO” Leech yelled out in surprise.

“Lucy?! Lucy we have to stay together where are you?”Maddie screamed.

Leech covered Jim’s mouth telling him to be quiet “what the fuck are you doing down here” she hissed

“I came looking for you when you guys left after that dance number”

“Look Jimmy I'm hunting right now I cant have you getting in the way.”

“Master you seem to be the one thats being hunted…”

“Shut up Jim-jam”

“Do you um… want me to help?”

“Actually….. there is something you can do for me. Go find Pennywise and try to wake him up. tell him I fucked up bad.”

“Seriously that guy?”

“Jimbo listen to me, if they find out what I am I'm fucked. If I'm fucked you're fucked, you’re apart of this shit now the minute you signed up for this.”

“Master, you didn't really give me much of a choice…”

“Good boy Jimmy go get Penny for me.” she cut him off.

Leech took a deep breath and dug her claws into her skin shrieking through out the sewer. She had to make this next part look convincing. the vampire removed her jacket revealing all her bruises and bite marks Penny loved to leave on her and finally she sighed in sadness as she tore her dress leaving deep gashes in her own skin.

“HELP ME” she screamed laughing to herself at how convincing she sounded wincing in pain as she made another mark on herself. Shit I think I over did the monster attack a bit she mused holding up her scarlet covered arm admiring the way the blood looked in the sewer lamps.

“LUCY? ITS ME HARRY IM COMING” came her reply. Finally things are going right.

“I-IM BACK HERE SOMETHING, SOMETHING ATTACKED ME.”

The group came back into view “Shit they're still fucking together.” Leech cursed. Ok new plan she faked a limp “I-it hurts so bad I-I cant walk”

“Quick Maddie! Give me your jacket babe we gotta stop the bleeding” Dan shouted. He was brave and heroic she would have liked him and Maddie if she wasn't so hungry and determined to help her monster.

The group attempted to patch Leech’s self inflicted wounds up while she spun a tale about the monster in the sewer. Hoping that the fear and panic would set in soon.

Meanwhile Jim made his way through the sewer nervously having only his phone light to guide him. He heard something around the corner it was like the snore of a terrible animal. Leech’s loyal servant cautiously peaked his head out to find the killer clown propped up peacefully against the wall clutching his vampire’s heels in his hands. It'd be pretty cute if the creature wasn't the most terrifying thing he’s ever encountered.

“U-uh um Mr. Pennywise?” he called out the clown didn't stir. Jim gulped and stepped closer leaning down cautiously to quickly poke the sleeping monster. “Mr Pennywise wake up…”

No response from Pennywise. He tried shaking him this time… nothing. His last attempt he kicked the monster hard in frustration and when that gave him no result he slumped down against the wall burying his hands in his face. “Great my one big break and I end up blowing it. Now were both going to die down here.” He looked back over and Pennywise was gone Jim sat up a cold sweat running down his back.

The servant turned back around only to be nose to nose with the apex predator himself he shrieked in terror at the demon clowns red rimmed eyes and drooling fangs. “Hiya Jimbo!” the creature said in a mock cheerful voice. Jim sat there hyperventilating a bit and the clown tilted his head jingling his bells “m-m-my mast-t-ter t-told me to um f-find you.”

“And find me you did!” he grinned inhumanly wide revealing even more teeth

“s-s-she n-needs-“

“S-s-spill it out Jimmy boy before I spill something else for waking me up.”

“She fucked up sir. Needs help.”

The clown sniffed the air placing his hand on Jim’s face to shut him up. The sewer reeked of blood and fear. Pennywise growled “Follow.”

———————

Leech hissed as the humans tried to dress her self inflicted wounds “Who the hell taught you first aid?” she winced as Harry poured a flask of whiskey on her arm wound.

“Hold still Lucy we need to get you to a hospital” He said with concern.

“No! We cant leave…. My friend!”

“look Maddie and I will keep searching for her after we make sure you're ok.” Dan said reassuringly

“Why don't I stay here with her and you guys find the exit” Harry suggested. FINALLY Leech said to herself.

“You sure you guys will be ok?” Maddie asked. Poor sweet girl the vampire thought Pen will love playing with her. Leech paused for a moment realizing what she was saying “What the hell is coming over me I really am a monster” she thought to herself as the couple left. Once they were alone Harry was getting more and more handsy touching her leg, her good arm, placing his hand on her head this human was trying so hard to get the damsel in distress. Leech pretty much had enough of it at this point but couldn't dispatch him until she was sure the other two wouldn't hear. She needed to get them to move. The vampire stood up, Harry reached out to steady her “we have to keep going.” she said to him fake limping down the tunnel. “Lucy no you cant you're too hurt!”

“I cant just leave her!” she turned a corner leading him to what she knew was a dead end ,away from the other two human’s line of hearing. Harry put his arm around her waist and let her lean on him for support. Pennywise had been watching the scene with Jim from a different pipe, the clown growling at the way this human was touching his girl. “Shit how'd that happen?” Jim asked

“Its an act. And a dangerous one on her part. She's taking stupid a risk bringing in so many humans.” the clown grumbled.

“Wait here servant, I will take care of the other humans if she is in trouble call for me.”

“You know just because you're dating her doesn't mean I serve you too.” Jim hissed but the clown was gone.

Leech continued to lead Harry down the dead end pipe path until they came to the finish. She faked falling over in order to drag Harry down with her causing him to cut his hand on a broken bottle on the sewer floor. “Shit!” he shouted

“oh dear Harry! I'm so sorry!” Leech faked concern the scent of fresh human blood in the air was becoming more and more enticing. She tired to remind herself to keep control she had to bring this one back to Pen still somewhat alive, but her hunger was becoming overwhelming now. The monster inside her had begun taking over and her breathing became more labored. She was zoning out staring at the bloody hand each drop felt like the beat of her own pulse. She was injured and starving. This was it she had to feed.

“Harry dear~” she cooed out to the human “Let me kiss it and make it better” she was feverish sweat dripped down the side of her brow. At this point she’d take Pennywise being upset with her for a taste of the crimson life oozing from the wound.

“Wait your serious?! And here I thought you didn't like me!”

“Deadly serious darling.” Penny can wait she needed this.

The young vampire brought his hand to her mouth and licked, her eyes rolling all the way back into her skull with full teeth on display. Oh god the taste was incredible. Leech got high all the time but this was unlike any she’d ever felt. Fresh blood straight from the tap so warm so savory. More. She thought.

“wh-what the fuck?” Harry panicked a bit seeing her long serpentine tongue roll out of her fang filled mouth. The vampires eyes were hollow and her nails were growing with each lick of his palm. she was groaning obscenely every taste pure ecstasy in her mouth.

“what the fuck are you!” he screamed Leech’s soul-less eyes flashed up at him like that of an animal in the moonlight “I wanna taste the way that you bleed baby” she hissed out in a state that was somewhere between deranged and aroused. Leech bit down into the wound moaning from the gush of life running down her throat “so this is what Pen means by playing with his food” she thought and chuckled to herself.

Harry was screeching now his other hand punching the vampire hard in the face causing her to release him. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU” he shrieked.

Leech pulled off her wig and smiled eyes wide and shining in the dark. “I’m Hungry” The vampire tore off her dress as her body began to change, limbs stretching longer, ears folding up against her head even bigger now but still she kept her trade mark gauges. Her eyes grew larger, her cheeks sunk in to give her face a skeletal like appearance and her teeth that hung out of her mouth doubled in size as her jaw unhinged. She crawled along the floor towards him like a vampire bat that had landed on the ground, awkward long claws rhythmically clicking against the stone almost mocking her prey, who was shouting and crying at the horrific skeletal like creature before him. She charged with blinding speed finding the humans neck and biting hard laughing at the sound he made in pure deranged bliss as she drank. Harrys blood spilled out of her mouth as she came up from his neck, and she let out a horrible screech before ripping the human to pieces shredding the body with no mercy.

Jim watched the whole scene mortified and frozen in terror. The clown was behind him covered in blood from dispatching Dan and in a much better mood. He apparently had been there the whole time watching the scene as if he'd just found god.

“You know I was going to get mad at her for taking my kill, but I'm so turned on right now I don't even care” the clown said casually munching on Harry’s femur that had been thrown down the passage.

“Dude! What the fuck man” Jim turned to the clown in disgust.

“Don't kink shame me Jim.” Pennywise sucked on a piece of the bone admiring the flavor. “Not bad!” he mused.

“She’s turning that guy into fucking paste y-you’re back here pitching tents.”

“I know, I think I'm in love.” Pennywise grinned dreamily.

“Dude, why do you have to make this weird.”

“Dont you have somewhere else you can go? You're killing the mood.”

Leech looked up from her meal and shrieked at them. The clown grinned and stepped forward giving her a round of applause. “Thats my girl!!” Pennywise shouted walking up to her “You’re a natural kitten!” the vampire screamed again protectively over her meal and Pennywise laughed “Oh ho ho! My dear I’ve had my meal for the day…which thank you by the way… don't worry I’ll let you keep your prize this time.” the clown continued to walk forward and Leech continued to screech at him. He furrowed his brow in confusion “Kitten?” the vampire crawled toward him. “Leech?” a claw wrapped around the clowns entire chest yanking him forward to her. “Uh oh.” Pennywise squeaked out before Leech shrieked into his face.

----------------------------

Poor Jimbo man he cant even get his master to say his actual name and now he has to deal with her irritable clown boyfriend AND her hangry mode. But anyway I loved writing the death and dismemberment. Expect more of that. Lots more.

#pennywise #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x oc #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise x reader #it fanfiction #monster roommate au

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btsxlami · 7 years

Text

How Kim Namjoon ISNT as problematic as he was before and how he is growing/owning up to his past actions

(dick sclaimer, I am not and NEVER defending his actions in the past, they are not excusable and I am very sorry if I am offending you)

*at the end of the day I’m not forcing you to accept or support Namjoon, if you don’t want to.... I guess “fuck” with him because of his actions in the past thats totally okay

*also dont feel as if I am biased towards him I’m trying to write this with a open mind, I won’t baby him and be like My POOR BABY AND WENT THRU SO MUCH BLAHDUFU

So lets start off with what Namjoon did for him to be called problematic:

“Talking black as a talent”

Saying the n-word during Shinhwa’s cover (k but why did no one beef shinhwa tho?)

RM said: “When I first saw V and J-Hope, I couldn’t see them because they were too black.. Yeah when the nights get too dark I couldn’t find them.” (this was in English

Just cultural appropriation of black culture, like having dreads (many of my black friends referred to him as a blackboo

Also I don’t personally like the term “trying to act black” but my black friends said he was basically “a wannabe hoodman”.

His background

Overall I feel as if Namjoon had a little phase where he really was lost in identity (i talk about this more don’t attack me). Like I’m not saying LOL HE WAS HAVING A KPOP PHASE, but as he mentions further on in post he had a really closed minded view on hip hop.That rapping only had one style, one culture, one way to act and speak. When Namjoon first started rapping he had the whole dreadlocks thing going on, kind of showing that he believed you had to black in order to rap, overall he was receiving and interpretating a close minded view on hip hop. I definitely don’t think Namjoon has hateful thoughts against black people. But you can still NOT be racist and culturally appropriate. He was just being oblivious and ignorant that his actions are offensive (I explain this more).

How he learned from his mistakes (so basically the proof section of my rant)

*Acknowledging he had a close minded view on hip hop

Namjoon admits his mistakes, in his mixtape interview: in 2015

Q: You shouted, “Westside Till I Die” during ‘If I Ruled The World’.

RM: That’s well… I was really wrong then (laughter). After the album came out and I listened to it, I thought “Ah”. I think I was immersed in the emotions while recording and ended up shouting like that.

Q: What’s the specific reason why you feel you were wrong?

RM: First off, I didn’t even live in the 'west side’… And even if that song had a G-Funk sound, what I shouted wasn’t the way to respect the west coast hip-hop musicians. I believe there are many meanings inside the words “Westside Till I Die”. Sweat, struggles, pride, etc. Isn’t it a phrase that compressed all these factors of life.

Q: Are you saying that you overlooked the weight and complex undertones that the phrase has within hip-hop?

RM: That’s right. I believe it’s different from words like “Yo!” or “Check It!”. As a result, I was thoughtless.

Q: Are you admitting it to be a mistake?

RM: Further than a mistake, it was a wrong. I have nothing to say.

*honestly this part is really self explanatory. This interview was in 2015 while the song was in 2013. So he was basically justified how in the beginning of his career he was ignorant and oblivious to the real meaning of hip hop. You can definitely see his music grow for the better after this.

*Why I M Y S E L F personally forgave him for this action.

I feel as if this quote doesn't only signify him saying “west side” when he’s not from the west side, but him acknowledging his mistakes of having a close minded view hip hop IN G E N E R AL and being ignorant of “what hip hop is”. He definitely owned up to his actions “ Further than a mistake, it was a wrong.”

He acknowledges them and admitted to them “ First off, I didn’t even live in the 'west side “

and never repeated them ever since. His music now definitely doesn't fit the stereotype of rapping nowadays. Might I suggest watching politically woke MV “CHANGE” he did with black rapper WALE.

Respecting black culture or hip hop’s origins (THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF HIS MOST OPEN MINDED MOMENTS THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS I FORGAVE HIM)

I’ve seen many people think Namjoon mocks black culture but this interview really opened up my eyes to many things and how we can learn from our mistakes

In this interview he did in 2015 >> you can really see how compared to the last interview, he seems more confident with what he is saying, he has no hesitation, and CLEARLY states what he feels about hip hop and black culture.

“There are two things that Warren G told me that I will never be able to forget. The first is, hip-hop is open to any one. Despite what your race is or where you’re from, hip-hop is a type of music that is always ready to give you space for anyone who enjoys hip-hop. So, don’t restrain yourself behind any type of prejudiced thought, and the other one was you’re doing well, so no matter what others say, believe in yourself and do what you want.”

This connects to what I mentioned before of Namjoon having a close minded view on hip hop before and thinking hip hop was associated to one certain race. Now he fully understands that hip hop is for everyone.

“Defining hip-hop is the same as trying to define love. If there are 6 billion people in the world, then there are 6 billion definitions of love, and like that, each definition of hip-hop is different for each person. Of course, it’s possible to give a dictionary definition. In 1970, there was a person called DJ Herc in South Bronx. At a party that he was hosting, he set breaks on a beat and during that break, someone would be rapping, someone would be dancing, and someone else would be doing graffiti… That’s how hip-hop was born, and they call that the 4 elements of hip-hop, but dictionary definitions like these is something anyone knows, but to explain that spirit… In one word, it’s something that can’t be explained. It’s a way that expresses me as well as being a meaning for freedom and rebelling. Because it’s something where people play and have fun with, it can have messages of peace and love placed in it. If you compare it to a Pokemon, it’s like a Ditto. Personally, hip-hop to me is the world. The world that I’m living in… It’s difficult, right? To be honest, it’s still hard for me too.”

He is now owning up to his actions by making his own music about his own life. His own hip hop.

“The culture of shooting guns and doing drugs is not the actual self of hip-hop. It’s just become a by-product that appeared around hip-hop music, it’s not the actual self of hip-hop. Although there’s a certain image that pops up clearly when you think of hip-hop fashion, that’s also becoming something that’s more broad. Look at A$AP Rocky or Kanye West. They don’t wear pants that drag around any more. To understand ‘swag’, you need to understand what kind of meaning ‘making it on your own’ has in hip-hop. Making it on your own is a very cool and important concept in hip-hop. I’ll use Jay-Z as an example. Jay-Z was a drug dealer. He’s someone that sold drugs on the rooftop of a very large stadium called Barclays Center, but he succeeded and bought that building. After buying that building, he dressed up in hip-hop and then went up to the rooftop and looked down at that building. Then they took a picture of that and posted it. After seeing that, everyone died. Kya… Just how cool is that?”

Namjoon acknowledges that there are many stereotypes associated with hip hop and also a “culture” to it. But he should try to do his own thing and not generalize.

Namjoon’s personal apologies

Personally I noticed especially for bighit, when it comes to western fans that seem to have a problem with what BTS is doing they never allow their idols to apologize. I’ve seen Namjoon apologizing facing korean fan based controversies.

The two interviews were already big indicators of how Namjoon grew from a close minded hip hop enthusiast to his own rapper and artist, but I found one v live where he personally talked about his actions as a general. He wasnt as specific but it was short and sweet kinda XD.

Long story short he mentions how he apologizes if his action ever offended anyone and that he was oblivious that what he could say or do could cause others harm (relate to this man) and finally how he needs to hold responsibility and think before he acts and speaks.

Overall I am saying that Namjoon isnt an idol who made the best decisions in his life but he definitely should not be viewed as someone who is evil but at the same time I don’t view him as someone who is a wOKE KING!212 Mistakes are mistakes but its how you own up to them which ultimately says how you are as a person.

He is human after all and instead of degrading him I simply just recognized his growth and willingness to learn and that was enough for me.

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