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literallyjusttoa · 1 year

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Some interesting differences between Greek and Roman myths (and other things) that I think would've been really cool to explore in HoO and ToA

Disclaimer: I am no scholar, and while I have tried my hardest to check my resources for accuracy, any sort of second-hand account of mythology has a chance of holding misinformation. I sadly do not have access to many primary sources, so this might not all be 100% accurate!! If you see something and you know it's wrong, pls let me know so I can fix it!

Anyways, onto the list! This is REALLY long, but the organization is gonna go like this.

Fact about the difference between Greek and Roman myths or worship.

Reason why I think it would be interesting to explore in the riordanverse.

and so on and so forth. This is really just for me to document ideas I've had, but hopefully y'all get something out of it too, read at your own risk, I suppose.

The Romans believed that after the Titanomachia, Saturn (The roman name for Kronos) fled to Italy and took refuge with it's king. Saturn eventually shared the throne with this king, and their kingdom was known to be joyous and peaceful. Romans actually worshiped Saturn bc of this, and he had a temple at the foot of Capitoline Hill.

Imagine if Percy arrived at Camp Jupiter, and one of the first things he sees is a temple to the titan he just spent 5 years trying to defeat. Like, I know he has no memories at this point, but I'm sure it would make him at least a bit uneasy. I think this would do a lot to sell the greek/roman schism in HoO, bc that whole plot point never really hit with me. We keep being told the Greeks and Romans hate each other almost instinctively, but other than Octavian, we aren't really shown it. Also it always seems like the Romans hate the Greeks and the Greeks are just kind of offended that the Romans hate them. Having actual tangible reasons for our main Greek character to feel uncomfortable around New Rome would a lot to make this actually feel like an equal issue.

2. In Greek mythology, Zeus was thought to be powerful, but not a supreme force. He was still beholden to the strings of fate. On the other hand, Jupiter was seen as the lord of life and death, having complete power and control over the cycle of life. He was more powerful than fate, and never came down from Olympus, as Zeus was known to do often.

Again, a HUGE discrepancy that I wish the books explored. This just kind of goes with the underdevelopment of Jason in HoO, but how cool would it be if Jason had this understanding of Jupiter. Like, yeah, in canon Jason points out that Jupiter is stern and distant, but it never gets to all-powerful controller of life levels. Having Jason see his father's distance as right and just would make him an incredible contrast to Percy, who just spent the last 5 books trying to get gods to be more open with their kids. It would add so much to Jason's arc about being torn between Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood. As a Roman and Praetor, Jason understands why his father never speaks with him, but as a kid, he wishes he could know the humanity of the Greek side of his father. (ofc in pjo Zeus sucks either way but Jason doesn't know that)

3.Juno was actually seen as much nicer and more matronly than Hera, and was said to watch over every woman from her birth until her death.

I just think this would do wonders for Hera's characterization in the riordanverse. Imagine if we got to see her actually help one of the girls on the Argo II as Juno, especially since she basically put EVERY SINGLE MALE CHARACTER on the Argo II personally, yet had nothing to do with he female characters??? Seriously, Hera was behind Leo, Frank, Jason, and Percy being a part of this quest, but as far as I can remember, she had nothing to do with Annabeth, Piper, or Hazel being there. What is up with that? It would've been so cool to see Juno watch over Hazel, or help Annabeth (Could lead to some awesome character development for both Hera and Annabeth), or even just give some advice to Piper. Seriously we were robbed.

4. This isn't really a difference, but there is actually a period in Rome where Apollo does not seem to have been worshiped at all, or at least not in any major capacity. One temple is noted to have been built for Apollo in 430 B.C.E., but we don't really see him again in any sort of public way until Augustus takes power hundreds of years later. Seeing as Apollo was one of, if not the most popular Greek deity, this is a rather large change. Of course, once Augustus brings him back to the limelight, worship of Apollo becomes hugely popular, with many emperors claiming his moniker to show their own divinity.

This could actually fill a big plot hole in the riordanverse. It makes no sense that Apollo has 6-7 Greek children as of the end of ToA, yet he has no roman kids at all? However, in this light we see Apollo as a god who never really connected with Rome, and was a bit of a late runner when it comes to Roman worship. If you look at it from a character standpoint, instead of a strictly historical or mythological view, it almost seems like Apollo was holding onto Greece. The Romans started taking Greek colonies in the 200's B.C.E, and have fully taken the area by 146 B.C.E.. In this time, and even before it, almost every Greek deity was co-opted into Roman worship. Apollo, however, stayed steadfastly Greek, until Augustus started to pray to him for victory in battle. (Fun fact: Augustus actually credited Apollo with his victory over Marc Anthony and Cleopatra in Actium) This whole thing makes it look like Apollo just didn't want to be Roman, or at least he didn't want to let go of Greece like the other gods were. And it seems like he didn't let go of Greece at all in the end, as there are very few notable differences between his Greek and Roman depictions. From this, I take two things. One, Apollo was probably never Roman, at least not in the way HoO depicts a god being Roman. This creates some interesting implications for how Apollo lived during Roman times, but that's a whole other thing. Two, because of this, Apollo might not be able to have a Roman demigod child. After all, the demigods at Camp Jupiter are classed as such for being born to specifically roman counterparts of gods. If Apollo has no such counterpart, he can't have the kids. Of course, this begs the question of Octavian, but I'll expand on that later.

5. When you look into it, the Roman god Diana is actually much closer to many characteristics of Hecate than she is the Greek portrayal of Artemis (though this is mainly because Artemis and Hecate were mixed together often, even in Greek times.) It is said that Diana has three forms: In the heavens she was Luna, the moon; on earth she was Diana, the goddess of the hunt; and in the underworld, she was Proserpine, a malevolent master of witchcraft.

Ok, ok I know this actually makes no sense in the context of HoO, but wouldn't it be so cool if Hazel worked with Diana instead of Hecate. I just think it would really expand the arc!! Seeing a different side of Artemis, one of the godesses we've probably saw the most of in the original series, would be so neat. Also, Diana as Proserpine having connections to both witchcraft and the underworld makes her a perfect fit. IDK IDK I just think it would be really cool. PLUS it would give Hazel and Frank a fun little parallel bc Frank would be inspired by Apollo while Hazel was trained by DIana. Vague sun and moon parallels my beloved.

6. The job of an Augur is actually much closer to the Greek's soothsayers than it is their oracles. While oracles are said to interpret the god's will, soothsayers and augurs see the future simply through simple acts of nature. The way in which augurs tell the future actually has a lot less to do with the gods than one might assume.

I just wish this fact was mentioned in HoO bc honestly it clears up so much for me. Also when it comes to Octavian, I think it makes more sense for him to be blessed by Apollo instead of descended from him (I know he says he's both in the book but shhh wait let me keep going for a sec) Soothsayers and Augurs were priests, directly picked by the gods to divine the future on their own. While oracles were basically the gods mouthpieces, Augurs would be allowed to divine their own interpretation of the future from what they saw in nature, all condoned by whatever god blessed them (probably Apollo). In this way, the whole "Apollo is turned mortal bc he supported Octavian" thing makes a lot more sense. In canon, we only get told through a throwaway line that Apollo was "totally swayed by Octavian's promises of power guys, trust me." It always just seemed so out of left field to me. If I were to take it in a new direction, I would lean much more into the fact that Octavian was an appointed priest of Apollo, who abused his supposed ability for prophecy to cause war. Apollo is now directly stated to be Octavian's willful benefactor, so of course he'd take the fall this. It would show Apollo's callousness. He doesn't care for Camp Jupiter as much he does Camp half-blood (see point 4) so he let the position of Augur become corrupt with little complaint. Also, if Octavian isn't Apollo's descendant, my whole "Apollo can't have a roman kid" theory is FOOLPROOF HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

7. While both cultures had large religious festivals, Rome's were much more centralized and documented. This is mainly due to Rome being ruled by a single republic or emperor, as opposed to Greece's city-states.

This isn't changing anything in canon as much as wishing there was more of it. Man, I wish we could've seen more of the Roman festivals. We're always just told they happen, but I wanna know the specifics! These are huge religious events! Are the New Romans actually fully worshiping the gods these festivals celebrate? How do the Roman characters we have feel about the festivals? Does Jason miss them while on the Argo II? Do Hazel, Frank, and Jason try to put on a small celebration for the festivals that pass while they're sailing to Rome? Let these things be important dangit.

8. When the Greeks sculpted, they focused on the ideal form, with emphasis put on the athletic male figure. Because of this, the face of the figure was not specific to any individual, as it was not the focus. In contrast, the Romans put a heavy emphasis on the face. In Rome, you wanted your lineage to be known, so you had your face sculpted with intense detail. That way, sculptures of your face could be compared with sculptures of your forefathers, or your children.

Again, I wish we were shown more of a difference between Greeks and Romans than "Romans are strict and organized, Greeks like to have fun" They're two entirely different cultures!!! Imagine if we showed the Roman emphasis on lineage in someone other than Octavian. Have Jason be genuinely proud of the affluence being a son of Jupiter gives him, let that be a flaw of his, a point of contention on the Argo II. Show how family pride can be important in arcs like Frank's, where he learns how to accept the fact that he is Mars' son, and grow into that role. Put the emphasis of these arcs on the fact that they're struggling with the ROMAN idea of family lineage. Let being from New Rome be an real identity. I feel like the synopsis of this whole thing is that I wish the Romans had whole beliefs that were wildly different from the Greeks. They could value different things, interact with the gods in distinctly different ways. We always see the conflict of swords between the Greeks and Romans, but never the conflict of beliefs, and I think that kind of sucks. Also it makes NO SENSE THAT THE ROMANS HATE THE GREEKS ANYWAY! Ancient Romans fucking loved Ancient Greeks! They saw the Greeks as their ancestors, adapting all of their religion and art out of a genuine appreciation for the culture. If anyone should hate anyone, it should be the Greeks, bc the Greeks were the ones who GOT CONQUERED. But in HoO, all of the Greeks just seem mildly disgruntled by the idea of Romans. idk it doesn't make much sense to me.

If you got to the end, I hope you got something out of my rambles. I honestly still feel like I have more to say about this stuff, so if anyone has any questions or wants me to expand on anything lmk! If not tho, thank you for reading!

#long post #trials of apollo #heroes of olympus #too many characters to count #sunny speaks #thank my 47 pages of art history notes and the book I just found on the history of greek and roman mythology for this boys #headcanons

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purplesurveys · 18 days

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1842

Where did the majority of your clothes come from? Not one single place. I like getting clothes from a variety of shops and I'm not picky with where I buy them.

Have you ever attempted to sculpt something from ice? I've never done that, but that sounds like an interesting class to take now that I think about it.

What's so amazing about Shark Week? I never learned what that is actually.

Do you wear sunglasses in the winter? You should. We don't have winter, and sunglasses and I don't make a good pair (hehe) because then I have to take off my glasses and I wouldn't be able to see anything anyway.

Have you ever had to wear an oxygen mask? No, never had to.

Do you have a dreamcatcher? I do.

Is there someone you ALWAYS bump heads with? No. I hate conflict and try to go about disagreements in a calm way.

What's your favorite thing you own that YOU made? I don't think there is anything.

Have you ever starved yourself? Yeah...

What do you spend all of your money on? Mostly on food, if I do spend; but I'm sure once BTS is back I'll be spending on K-pop again lol. I'm happy with my little hiatus for now.

Do you like Robot Chicken? I don't know what that is.

What movie character would you like to be a part of your family? Not a movie, but Clunkers the dog from Friends haha. And the dog that Phoebe got Joey when he got all sad over Rachel.

What's the last thing you were an audience of? Seventeen concert last January.

Has anyone ever had to physically restrain you from doing something? Sure.

Do you raise your voice when you get angry? No. I only do when I'm angry and feel like I'm getting interrupted or talked over.

Do you like the pretzel M&Ms? I've never tried them but they sound kinda delicious.

Have you ever been accused of thinking you're too good for something? Well I don't think I'm a master of anything, so.

Do your scars tell sad or happy stories? My one notable scar is just an annoying story of a distant cousin who didn't know how to behave around people and was not supervised properly by his parents.

Have you ever walked straight into a wall/door? I don't think I have haha.

Have you ever been embarrassed to have a crush on someone? Little bit.

Is there anything you're trying to move on from? Continued from a few days ago idk how long. Just the whole craziness of how Wrestlemania 40's been, although it's safe to assume I won't be able to for a while haha.

Have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend? Nope.

Are you careful with your words? As much as possible.

Do you have a locket? What's the picture inside of it? Nope.

Describe the most interesting vehicle you've ever seen. Nothing comes to mind right now...

Would you be afraid to take a public bus anywhere? Have never taken a bus besides the private buses we'd have for like school field trips or whatever lol. Just seems too dangerous to me plus I'll never know if I'm sitting beside a pervert man.

Have you ever given anything to someone who is homeless? Before I used to give change and snacks, but for safety reasons I've stopped.

What are you feeling, right now? Elated from Wrestlemania weekend, happy that we have two holiday weekdays this week so I don't get to go back to work til Thursday.

How do you react when you feel embarrassed about something? I guess it depends what kind of embarrassed it is? There's the light-hearted kind in which I just laugh it off, then there's like a checking-on-someone's-grandma-not-knowing-she-died embarrassed that makes me want to quit socializing.

Have you ever tried to 'fix' someone? Yes.

What's in your copy and paste? A link to a wrestling streaming site.

How many stuffed animals do you own, and what are they? I have lke 5 BT21 plushies, some of Tata and others of Koya.

When's the last time you were carried by someone? Three weeks ago when we had our company outing, and I was the one who led our dodgeball team to victory lol. All those lunch periods in third grade spent playing dodgeball were finally ROI'd haha

Have you ever accidentally taken a shower with like your underwear left on, or something? Not my underwear but I've turned on the shower with my glasses on, heh.

Can you twirl things well? Like, just noodles I guess? I don't really...twirl things on a regular basis.

Do you have bangs? I had them like a week before the pandemic kicked in so no one ever really saw them lol. I got rid of them halfway through 2021 and it was still pandemic-y at the time, so at the end of the day no one ever really saw me in bangs. I'm still a little peeved about it HAHA

Have you ever seen someone who wore a real eyepatch? I knew a kid in school who did. She was also one of my sister's close friends.

What started the last 'cat-fight' you were involved in? I've never been in a catfight.

Would you agree that it's extremely disrespectful to 'test' someone in a relationship? I wouldn't call it disrespectful but I do find it a waste of time. Just address things head-on; communicate.

Do you go all out on dressing up for pep-rallies and the like? I never attended pep rallies when I was in college.

What's in your locker? I haven't had a locker since 2016.

Are you in possession of any currency that isn't used in your country? I have a Korean won bill that Angela got me a few years ago; I also have a handful of Thai baht coins left.

Did anyone witness your last kiss? Doubt it.

Do you remember Hamtaro? No.

What about Peewee Hermin? Yeah I know Peewee. He was associated with WWE for a time and afaik one of my fav wrestlers used to be obsessed with him haha.

Do you have any younger siblings? I have two.

Are you cool with them, or do they annoy you to no end? My sister and I are close.

Do you know anyone with a kind of creepy smile? Eh, no.

Anyone with Bieber Fever? Sure! I know a few who grew up with JB and still have a soft spot for their Bieber fevers. I find it generally endearing how people my age have been rediscovering our old interests, just now in a much more unashamed light :)

Have you tried Cupcake Pebbles cereal? I don't think so.

What's your favorite ride at an amusement park? Whatever that's not a rollercoaster or those rides that shoot all the way down at like 500 kph lmao. Basically anything that takes it easy on my sensitive motion sickness.

Last person you flipped off? Idk probably a driver.

Have you ever been on TV? No. I've been behind the camera during live news programs though.

Are you currently distancing yourself from anyone? Yes.

Trying to get close to anyone? Nope.

Anyone who's way over protective of you? My parents have considerably toned down but they are still a bit protective.

Do you like dubstep? It's okay.

Have you ever been to a rave? Yes.

Have you any friends that are twins? No.

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ihateliterature · 9 months

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As a kid, I was everything they expect a trans man to be. I hated pink with a passion. I hated girly things, gossip, make-up, doing my hair, pastels, flowers, one direction, Twilight, 50 Shades and everything else the girls around me liked. I called myself "not like other girls". I begged my mom to let me cut my hair short for years and when she finally let me at 14 I almost cried in the hair salon. Just the simple idea of putting a dress on filled me with dread and disgust. I spent more time with guys and I never felt at home among girls, always unwelcomed, always an intruder, although I didn't know why

But I am not a man. I never was. I called myself a lesbian, demiboy, genderfluid, agender, maverique and so many other terms, but I could never just call myself a man

I loved Barbie ever since I was a kid. I saw all the classic movies, but I could never bring myself to reveal that until recently

I liked make-up and deeply admired mua, but I could never try it for myself or admit to this

My discomfort with girls was actually fear all along, as most of my major abusers have been women and girls so I was hypervigilent around them

It's weird. Being constantly punished by society for your masculinity while being hypermasculinized. I was "the brave one", "the strong one", or so people said, I was actually just the freak. The token masc in every group. Being dubbed the butch lesbian even if I was never any of these things

Society pushed femininity on me, and I fought back bc I didn't want it, not that way. But after a while I just couldn't even attempt to breach that femininity, bc it would have meant they were right, it was a phase, I was just a spoiled brat wanting to be special. Even if I knew it was wrong, I had to keep going, bc I've come too far and getting patted on the back for finally "growing up" would have hurt more than suppressing that part of me

Until it happened

I finally cut off my last link to my teenage years. The best friend who treated me like an accessory and the ex that tried to "fix" me and make me into an alloro Dom masc lesbian for her fantasies

I was alone, I felt like I got cut off from my own identity. It was both freeing and terrifying. And I said fuck it. If it is a moment, it's this one

I've grown up from that scared teenager. I don't care anymore. People can talk, I won't listen, because I know who I am and how far I've become. My femininity is not a retraction of my masculinity, but a part of it, my femininity is masculine in nature and the more femme I dress the more masc I feel. That me, that's who I am

I love Barbie and mua. I like wearing long skirts and crop tops. I like wearing spiky eyeliner. And it's alright. It doesn't invalidate who I used to be. I don't need to be the "token masc" or the butch, I don't need to be the fantasy of cis women, and I definitely don't need to listen to them when it comes to my presentation. I am non-binary and I don't owe anyone androgyny or masculinity or femininity, I don't need to make myself palatable to cis people. I can just be myself

#transgender #transmasculine #transmasc #non binary #rant post #masculinity #femininity #androgynous #genderqueer

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corruptedforce · 2 months

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respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? I wanted to write Anakin for years, but I don't half ass pick up any character. It's one of the reason why I keep my multi under 15, at all times. I have to have them fleshed out. I've been fascinated by Vader since I was a child. All my friends had Leia Halloween costumes. I just wanted to be Vader. Anakin intrigued me, as well, as I got older. I ALWAYS loved Hayden as Anakin. But, I spent years before ultimately choosing to write him. I had to learn mannerisms, ways he fights, his quirks, his emotional responses, and Vader, because Vader is Anakin.

is there anything you don’t like to write? Look when you play one of the biggest villains in pop culture, there is not much that is off limits. I refuse to ever write or AU him, as a Rebel. He would never be a rebel and I would never write him as such. I also only very rarely and only really for I think one or two people, will write him not falling. His fall is extremely important to what the chosen one prophecy needs, to fufill. I'm not huge on fix-it. I mean, sometimes I enjoy them and I will never change Hayden as Anakin's FC. I don't ship him with other males, with the exception of one and it's writer specific. I don't write smut on him to just write smut, but if it fits, I'm okay. I also don't auto ship.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Angst, pain, drama, things that make you cry and hate life. I love happiness if we have like something dramatic too. The prequels are a tragedy. They just are. Anakin's life even before his fall, he may have been married, but he was at war. He has brief times with Padme for instance, when he does have happy moments, but war is something that was a lot of his life. I lean towards his destiny more towards trying to create a healthy family dynamic, that didn't exist.

how do you come up with headcanons? I have things knocking around my head and sometimes I get asks. I'm currrently working on one, for three days now based off someone asking me what I thought of one quote.

do you write in silence or do you play music? usually, the TV is on.

do you plan your replies or wing them? I wing them mostly or for the most part, I don't pre-read the previous reply always. I mean, I will sometimes, but with certain partners, I know how I'll react. Sometimess, I have to calm Anakin or Vader down if it's angst before I reply because he's a mess, who will say things, if I don't. But, my best rp partners understand his reactionary responses.

do you enjoy shipping? I love shipping. Just not having it forced on me. I'm open to a lot, if it it makes sense. I also love many types of connections.

what’s your alias/name? Tanya

age? Older than 30. I'm at the age where it says years young on Tumblr.

birthday? April 21st

favorite color? Cubbie Blue

favorite song? Anything off the Sons of Anarchy Soundtracks by lately Day is Gone by Noah Gundersen and Come Join the Murder; Also, Lightning Crashes by Live is a song I listen to a lot, Anything by Bob Seger when I need to feel close to my mom

last movie you watched? Red Dawn (not my idea)

last show you watched? One Tree Hill

last song you listened to? Ainsi Bas La Vida by Indila.

favorite food? Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon

favorite season? sprinter. it's that time in February - March, when it's like 70 but not miserable yet.

do you have a tumblr best friend?

For the last year and half and some change, 100% it has to be Mica (mayxthexforce) and Tori (bchemianrhapscody). With Mica, I have talked to her more than I have talked to anyone, in a time when things were really hard for me, after I lost my mom. But, there are others in the Star Wars fandom, and those are people who have been my friend, even when lies were told and I lost long-term friends. Some people aren't like bestie status but I adore them so much. More recently, I have been talking a ton to @story1ines of late and she is quickly becoming a close friend who I bombard with messages. I also adore @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx, who listens to my baseball ramblings.

I have been on tumblr rp for 13 years and there are people who have come and gone. I will always still communicate with the ones I was the closest to in the world offline, but I forever love my first rp friendship, the Rachel to my Puck, my main Tara to my Jax who I wrie with on Discord only now, the only Wendy I will ever accept to my Jax, my one and only Athelstan and Philippe @mcnsieur, who even though I don't talk to everyday by any means because life is busy, I literally can message her anytime. So many other people I am not remembering.

TAGGED BY: @mayxthexforce

TAGGING: @galaccias, @bchemianrhapscdy, @cagedpotential, @writtenxbeginnings, @story1ines, @mcnsieur, @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx

#(ooc)

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themetalvirus · 2 years

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oh btw i don't think i ever explained the reason why egghog shadow is such a maker compared to canon shadow!!!! the reason is sad. sorry. also this ended up being 80% eggman tangent. you're welcome

shadow is the brother that spends the most time around eggman, and that's been the case since he was a baby. when he was a small child, it was because he's a test tube baby with dubious dna and experimental chaos powers that had never been proven successful thus far. eggman has ran and continues to run extensive testing on his chaos powers, senses, and tolerances (or lack thereof).

shadow is also eggman's first child. eggman has a special sort of simultaneous attachment and bitterness about it. he's spent so much time and energy researching shadow, this valuable anomaly hand-crafted by his grandfather, and he's come away with many valuable lessons and pieces of information. but he's bitter because he doesn't like the parenting aspect of this situation.

i've said this before, but eggman has always thought of the egghogs as tools or objects, not his children. he only refers to them as his children for PR reasons and to make them think he loves them. he hates that despite his best efforts they still have some semblance of free will he can't scrub away.

of course, that's part of the thrill, too. we've seen time and time again in several different canons that eggman loves this game, seeing when and where the people he recruits will slip and try to outsmart him or overthrow him or decide to leave him. he likes the give and take of it. he even makes his robots defiant to always have someone to take down a peg. it's fun. so he keeps the boys and watches them wrestle each other for the last ice cream sandwich with his seat reclined and popcorn in hand

there's just no 100% sure way to get rid of that defiant spark in people. recruits for a few weeks or months or even a few years, that's one thing. but the boys are a lifelong commitment. he's made them strong, stronger than they could have ever been on their own. he's made them smart and calculating and perceptive. that could be turned against him, and unlike an anomaly like the neo metal amy incident, there's no backspacing any code to fix an insurrection.

it's thrilling. it's so much fun. he hates it. no matter what, they're his boys.

he keeps them on a tighter leash than all of his robots combined; he's especially concerned with keeping shadow close. sonic is hard-headed and impossible to change now that his twisted ideologies have had time to set; silver is meek and afraid of disappointing his family. it isn't hard to keep them on track.

shadow has stayed hard to read, and eggman senses that something's going on in that head of his. so shadow stays right by his side, makes eggman a latte with steamed austrian goat milk every morning, polishes the egg mobile, and most importantly for what was supposed to be the actual point of this post, acts as his assistant on projects.

all of the egghogs have spent a lot of time working with eggman on builds and schemes, but shadow clocks in higher than his brothers by a significant margin. he's the oldest, so to him go the trade secrets and the "mature" complex tasks of building boss robots and such.

plus, shadow is the most physically strong and sturdy of the boys, and he’s the most quiet. he doesn’t voice his needs or complain. he doesn’t try to goad eggman into conversation. he only speaks when spoken to while they’re in the workshop, and only in a short, truncated way to keep eggman from lashing out at him. he’s precise, detail-oriented, and follows instructions well. he only does what he's told, he doesn't add any of his own ideas or "fixes" to projects. he’s a good assistant. he would make an excellent robot.

shadow stays deeply afraid of authority figures for a long time.

#exoticbutterstxt #the egghogs

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a-sentient-horax · 7 months

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September 25, 2023

Ok, whew. Well. I'm back from my sister's wedding. It was a long weekend. Let's take it day by day:

Thursday:

Long, long 9 hour drive. Not fun, finally finished Jeanette McCurdy's biography.Great book, fantastically written. I see a lot of my mom and my sister in that book, obviously not nearly to the extent of abuse that Jeanette faced. But still, it really moved me to hear about her struggles with her family. I always loved Sam in iCarly. I wanted to be her when I was a kid, and to hear her going through her 20s with many of the same struggles I face is sort of nice.

At the wedding rehearsal, only me and one other bridesmaid showed up. I could tell my sister was panicked, and stressed. I tried my best to do that thing where you are both helpful and out of her way. I think I failed at both but I really tried.

Friday:

I started to panic a bit because I needed rest before the long wedding. Meanwhile, at my boyfriends work, shit hit the fan. I confessed to him that I was worried his flight would be very delayed and that I was panicking he wouldn't be here in time. I asked if he could try to take the earlier flight, only an hour earlier, so that I could pick him up at a reasonable time instead of around midnight, because on Saturday I had to get up at 6:00am and be going the whole day. He got mad at me, got very short and indignant. It was too much, I was already too stressed. He told me he would get an Uber and I hung up. It was just too much, I needed him to be supportive and patient, and emotionally available, at the very least to comfort me. And instead, he got mad at me. I know he felt bad but it made my stomach turn and I felt shitty all night. My boyfriend showed up at the hotel very late, I let him in. I found out later he had spent $150 on an Uber from the airport.

I am split about the Uber price, he complained about it, and I know that price frustrated him. But if he had taken the time to calm me down, or worked with me at all, I would've been able to pick him up and take him to the hotel. I hope he understands that he paid $150 because he continues to take his work anxieties out on me instead of going to a therapist, or finding ways to deal with the stress in a healthy manner.

Saturday:

Wedding day. It was a weird thing to be around my sister's mom. Here's the thing, my sister isn't really my biological sister. My dad and her mom started dating when we were young, and then they moved in together for six years during my middle/high school years. My sister and I are pretty close, but her mom was mean to me when I was a kid. Like, really mean. Unnecessarily mean. Now she acts nice and buddy-buddy, but man do I hate her. I have put my feelings aside for my sister but at some point she started trying to talk down to me in front of my boyfriend and I almost said something. I didn't though.

Was the wedding a mess? This is a question I keep asking myself. It doesn't seem fair to me. People keep asking me how I felt about the wedding, and it is complicated. For instance, I don't like her fiancé. I find him to be disrespectful to her, I dislike his attitude when he is around her, I think he doesn't put effort into their relationship. But what do I know? Like honestly, I talk to my sister, but almost never about him. I live several states away, I don't know their relationship. But I've seen what I've seen and I can't help but to have seen it. I also was part of the wedding party. From 6:00am that day until 10:00pm at night I was setting up decorations, getting my hair done, getting makeup done, helping my sister wrangle her stuff together, taking pictures, fixing her train, helping the other bridesmaids. Was the wedding a mess? I think when you are a part of the wedding, it always feels like a mess, not because it is, just because the day of the wedding requires you to get so many ducks in so many rows. There are so many game-time decisions that must get made. Who is going to get her and bring her to the chapel? Are we going to line up outside or inside? Who is going to pass out the corsages? To a normal guest, like my boyfriend, this all worked seamlessly and there were no hiccups. To the wedding party, it was just chaos.

The reception was wonderful, I'm glad I got to see my dad, his parents, and much of my sister's family that I grew up with but haven't seen in years. I really hope for the best for everyone.

Sunday:

Long drive back with my boyfriend, it was nice. We used to road trip together all the time when we were long distance. You sort of have to to see each other like that. We gambled a little bit in the morning, made it home safe by 7:00pm, I think being done with this wedding was a big relief to us both.

#journal

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lovecolibri · 10 months

Note

SaL anon here my friend, saying hi after a long absence!! I don't know why this summer is kicking my ass so much, I've been in a rut of absolute apathy about everything, including putting in the effort to rewatch my comfort shows. But things are getting better and sometimes its the small things that get you back up (for me specifically its the return of Puppet History, an absolute gem I highly recommend).

Anywho hope the summer is going well for you despite the summer and global warming of it all. Don't know about you but I'm still pretty bitter about 911 and really the way so many of the shows we've enjoyed were mishandled so badly. And with the writers and actors (very rightfully) on strike it could be awhile before we get any sort of idea what's going to happen in s7 so I figure we've got time to get some of that bitterness out through some salty competitions. So to start which series finale had the worse ending, RNM or 911 (I know 911 isn't over but its over on fox so it kinda counts)? A lengthy justification of your choice is encouraged!!

Hello friend! I got this while I was out of town at a concert with my mom so I'm just getting around to this today. I also thought this summer was going to be Super Chill and Time To Catch Up On Things but we have been weirdly SO BUSY every weekend and had numerous unexpected Things happen (the fridge went out, thought it was fixed, it went out again, one of the cats had to go to the emergency vet an hour away and is now on new special food forever etc) and it's not slowing down any time soon! Sorry you're in your apathy rut era, I was absolutely there too recently so I know what that's like! I hope you can find some joy again soon! (I know everyone else Hates Summer, but I love not being cold all the time and heat and sunshine are what give me life so I'm currently on a slightly more energized kick which I'm going to try and use to Get Some Shit Done in regards to home improvement and self-care.)

I haven't ever watched Puppet History but it sounds delightful and with the strikes going on (take 'em down WAG/SAG AFTRA!) I'm sure I will be finding time to watch all the things I never got around to. I'm currently nearly finished with Resident Alien which has been a delight, and me and my mom are watching White Collar which has been a lot of fun for us.

Okay, now time for The Salt Mine.

It's funny that you bring up the RNM finale because I JUST saw a post the other day of Malex comparison kisses but the one they used from the finale is a wide shot and LITERALLY the main color focus drawing the eye in the shot is that goddamn fucking red dress under the bright lights of the bar, and only then, second, is the pink light Malex is under while in the darker, shadowed part of the bar. Sooooo I've been feeling salty about that for daaaaays.

It's a tough call to pit these two against each other because 911 literally shoved Buck and Eddie into "endgame" relationships with random characters they have zero chemistry with and that we know next to nothing about (Marisol) or everything we know is Not Great (Natalia). They really thought this was the end of the show and would rather waste time on these side characters and forcing these relationships rather than focus on the firefam and found family of it all and showing the core cast of characters TOGETHER as a FAMILY in the end. They rushed through the emergency and the feels we SHOULD have spent time on with everyone being hurt and seeing the firefam worry about and fight to rescue each other, all so KR could have time to (poorly) wrap up the 7000 plotlines she made for Buck because she apparently doesn't like or care about any of the other characters and only cares about Buck insofar as she can make jokes about his junk and sex life and how she can use his character to insert new ones she wants to have instead of using the characters she already has. However, despite all that mess, there WERE some good moments in the finale for the firefam and the bridge collapse was good, if too short to do what it was intended to do. 911's practical effects have ALWAYS been a highlight of the show and one of the things that makes it great so it was good to see some effort put into that side of the show again.

But, even with all the missteps of the 911 finale, RNM fumbled the ball on literally EVERYTHING in their finale. There was a Malex wedding, but it focused entirely on Michael and we didn't get to see Alex's POV on anything (not even anything about being on death's doorstep and magically being healed which happened entirely off screen and we didn't get to hear from Alex about it at all) except how he was perfectly happy having NONE of his family there for the wedding because god forbid m*ria be uncomfortable for 5 seconds because everything is about HER and how SHE feels 🙄🙄🙄 We got more focus on m*ria than we did Alex at his own goddamn wedding! And aside from that whole mess, the finale also separated Max and Liz, the supposed main couple of the show! The show ended forever with the lead in tears as Max goes to an alien planet for who knows how long! WTF kind of ending is that?! The show really made it hard to root for Max and Liz because the writing for them was just...not what it needed to be, but Jeanine and NDP had great chemistry and when they let them be in love they had some GREAT moments. I just wanted to root for them more but they constantly put them on opposite sides of every little thing they came across so they were never really able to work TOGETHER on anything and it was frustrating. Even so, I wanted a better ending for them after seasons of fighting and being so on again/off again the whole time. Jeanine especially got screwed over in what SHOULD have been Liz's show and I hate that being left behind was her ending. And that's not even going into all the plotholes and storylines the show just half-assed or flat out didn't address, and things that got dropped along the way and never explained. I know I say it A Lot about 911, but good god, the RNM cast, characters, and the base storylines they started the show with deserved SO much better than what they got consistently from the s1 finale through the end of the show.

Despite all of 911s flaws and faults, I still think they can come back from it all if they go back to the formula used in the early seasons for pacing and storyline distribution and focus on the firefam as a unit together, and given that the issues brought up by fans were pretty similar across all platforms and mirrored oftentimes by professional reviews, there's some hope for change moving forward on a new network. If RNM had been given another season I'm sure they still would not have resolved any of the plotholes and would probably have just made them worse while creating new ones 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I have to go with RNM for having the worst finale but damn if 911 didn't give it a run for it's money!

I was good hearing from you my friend! I had high hopes to work on my Countdowns fic this summer but I just have not had a weekend to myself! My niece will be visiting this whole week and my nephew is due to arrive in August but may come earlier, plus I'm working on getting out of town for some shows (and out of state if I can swing it to see Ed Sheeran), and working on some remodel work in my bedroom so we'll see when things start to slow down if I have any brain power left to write, much less do any of the other craft projects I have pending! I am confident I will get the baby blanket I'm working on done in time but everything else is up in the air. Remember when summer was time to relax? Anyway, I am ALWAYS here for your salty thoughts or anything else you wanna talk about. In the meantime, lets all manifest a good outcome for the striking workers!

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #roswell nm #roswell nm my behated #still and forever salty

0 notes

elles-writing · 3 years

Text

Little Secret

Request: Wonderful! Could please write an escenario in which y/n (half elf and half human) was part of the company cause Gandalf hired her. She and Kili fell for each other and secretly started courting. Once Erebor was reclaimed everything was going back to normal. Thorin asked her to stay for as long as she liked. When Fili & Kili's mom got there, she had lots of meetings with Thorin so y/n was not able to properly meet her. The day that they are actually introduced, Thorin announces Kili's and Fili's arranged marriages which took everyone by surprise. Y/n and Kili try to figure and fix things out in order to convince Thorin to put off the arrange marriage but it does not work. Therefore, y/n decides to leave Erebor and ends up leaving to Dale; befriending/ helping Bard and his kids. During her time there she finds out that she was pregnant with Kili's child. However, she never notifies Kili nor goes to Erebor to announce it thinking that he had his duty as a prince and it would be harmful for him/ his arranged marriage. So, she makes the decision to raise the baby on her own. Time goes by and on a normal day (when she was 9 months pregnant) that she's walking around Dale while feeling contractions she bumps into Kili. Thank you so much!❤️ Sorry for the long message 😅 - @just-a-dreamer23

A/N: I know, I know, this is soo long. But, I enjoyed writing this story!! I've been trying to overcome my lack of motivation to write, so maybe it isn't as good in some parts, as my other stories, but I wanted to keep it that way, so I hope you enjoy anyways.

Tags: @guardianofrivendell @just-a-dreamer23 @anjhope1 @lathalea

The afternoon was hot. The best thing to do, was to take a nap. At least, in your opinion.

Nothing would attack in this heat, you thought, as you rested under a tree. A while after, you noticed pointy hat and grey cloak of the same colour. You lazily waved.

"Gandalf, long time no see!" Gandalf smiled at you.

"Good afternoon, Y/N." You stood up and looked at him, waiting. Gandalf never came just...for no reason.

"How are you doing?" Gandalf asked, and you shrugged.

"I'm just wandering around, as usual. You know me. I never stay in one place for too long." You said. Gandalf knew that, obviously. Being a child of an elf and a human, you felt like you never belong anywhere.

Elves felt really tense and quiet, and humans were quite loud for you, because of your hearing. And you aged lot slower than them, so making friends was also quite...not it.

"I've been looking for you, to join an adventure," You curiously gave him a look.

"An adventure? What kind of adventure?"

"Well," he looked at you.

"You know about Erebor and the line of Durin, right?" You frowned at him, and quickly shook your head.

"Gandalf, I can't-I can't join the dwarves! They will hate me! Everyone knows they hate the elves, and I'm half elf!" You said.

"Well, who said they will know? You owe me help," he reminded you. You thought back to when he healed you after orcs attacked you, and you sighed. He was right. This was the least you could do.

"And, who knows. Maybe they will like you," he gave you a look, and you folded your hands on your chest, and let out a sigh.

"Alright then. Where and when am I supposed to be?" He gave you all the information you needed. And you started your way to the Shire, looking at the first evening stars, as the starlight is what the Elves of Mirkwood love so much.

You got to the Shire around late afternoon after three days of traveling, and smiled. The hobbits and their houses were tiny, so you couldn't help, but smile. Maybe it won't be that bad, having perhaps a hobbit friend, after all...

You remembered the moment when you first met Kili. You thought Gandalf was there at Bilbo's house, but when you opened the door...

"Are you Master Boggins?" You frowned at the brunette dwarf.

"Do I look like a hobbit to you?" He looked at the other dwarf, then back at you, but there was Bilbo already.

Later on the journey, he found you without your cape on. It was your turn for bathing, but him and Fili forgot some their things at the river.

You just put off your cloak, and put your hair down from your headband. You heard steps, so you quickly turned around.

"You are..." Fili started.

"...an elf?" Kili finished. You huffed.

"Half elf. My mother was...human." you whispered. Painful memories of your early life came up, and you blinked to stop the tears.

"Don't tell anyone, please..." you looked at them. Both Fili and Kili must've seen something in your expression, that made them realize the importance. They nodded. Kili was, however, curious. Lot more than before, and asking you about elves. You talked about it when Thorin was far enought to not hear what was your conversations about, but it wouldn't matter much. Gandalf told them you spent part of your life living with the elves, which was true.

In fact, Kili became fascinated by you. He liked you before, and had a feeling, which he wasn't sure about. Interest, curiousity, the need to protect you, adoration...

In the moment he saw you, he realized you were his One, his love for life. And when you got closer, he asked you to court him. You said yes. From then on, you shared many quiet and stolen kisses and moments together, in the shadows of forests or your bedrooms in pubs.

The moment everyone else (except for Bilbo and the Durin brothers) found out, was when you came into Mirkwood. Thranduil ordered his guards to take your cloak and headband off, and now, everyone could see your pointy ears.

There was a moment of silence.

"What made an elf, to travel with group of dwarves?" You gulped and looked down.

"I'm a-a half elf," you whispered.

"My father was from here." You explained, and the king shot you a glare. He was not stupid. He knew you tried to pull his attention away.

"Take them to the dungeons, except for Oakenshield," he said.

When you made yourself as comfortable as you could on the cold floor, you overheard the dwarves trying to find out who you actually were and what you wanted.

To your surprise, they didn't talk about you in a bad way. Just curiousity. Thankfully.

"Do you think she will like me?" You said to Kili. He was writing a letter to his and Fili's mother, Dis, the happy news - Erebor was reclaimed, and they all survived. It's been a week since, and Thorin decided it was the right thing to let his sister know as soon as possible. She was surely worried.

Kili turned to you.

"Like you? Like you? She is going to love you," Kili grinned at you, and you had to smile a little too.

"Yeah, but...you know, I'm not a dwarf," you said your worry aloud. It was true. Being a half-elf, you and Kili started courting in secret. Thorin was not really kind to you, at least the first half of the journey. However, the rest of the Company liked you lot more. Especially Kili. After a while of knowing of what did you feel, you decided to tell him. To your surprise, but happiness, Kili shared those feelings. And since then, you had a tiny braid, hidden in your hair, and Kili as well.

And stole many, many secret kisses.

"I don't think mum is going to have issue with this," Kili stood up, and gently placed your hair behind your ear.

"You're my One, and you make me incredibly happy. I'm sure she won't have problem with you being half elf," You cupped his cheek, and softly smiled, as you looked deep in his kind brown eyes.

"I love you too, my short Prince," He stood on his toes and kissed you, getting a giggle from you. He pouted, when he heard you called him short, but you knew he didn't mind it.

You kissed him, and felt his smile on your lips. You were leaning down, when suddenly you lost balance, and both you and Kili ended up lying on the floor. Kili and you let out a yelp, but then broke into giggles.

"I love you," Kili said, when you finally stopped laughing. You cuddled into his chest and breathed in his scent. Kili smelled like smoke, food and fresh air.

"I love you too," Kili gently stroke your hair, and you got up.

"Where are you going?"

"You have to finish the letter, and I promised Tilda I will take a walk with her before the dinner." You helped Kili to get up.

"Alright my beloved, have a good time," he gently kissed you, and sat back to his desk. You smiled, and ruffled his hair.

"You too, my dearest." You smiled, and left the room.

It's been a few months, and you were finally, finally going to meet Kili and Fili's mother, Dis. She has been there for around two weeks by now, but, you haven't got the chance to meet her and be introduced to her yet.

You were officially going to meet her during upcoming celebration. Needless to say, you were freaking out.

Your stomach was tight from anxiety for a few days already, and that afternoon, it felt absolutely horrible. You haven't eaten whole day, just because all you thought about was the evening.

You spent around an hour of putting on and off different dresses from your wardrobe, trying to figure out which one to wear.

"Y/N?" Kili knocked on the door of your chambers.

"C'me in," you said. He came in, and his eyes widened, when he seen you sitting in front of the mirror, your eyes red and the mess everywhere.

"What am I supposed to wear? I have nothing to wear!" You started crying. All the stress and anxiety in past three months got the best of you. Random moments of crying, because of tiny things, were happening on daily basis.

"Dear, what is happening?" He pulled your hair back behind your ears.

"I-I just want-want your mum to like me," you muttered.

"And...it stresses me out." Kili nodded, and shortly hugged you.

"She is going to love you no matter which dress you wear, I promise." He whispered to your ear.

"Now, I think..." Kili looked around.

"I think the...the dark green dress will be perfect."

When you changed into the dress Kili picked you, Kili brushed and styled your hair. He pulled the top section into a clip, and you pulled a few strands, to frame your face. You smiled at yourself in the mirror.

"You ready?" Kili asked. You just silently nodded.

As you walked down the hall, Kili was trying to figure out where his uncle, brother and mother went to. He couldn't see them anywhere, and he was sure he was once in a while not late.

When you entered the huge throne room, you could see Fili, and let out a breath of relief.

"Fili, have you seen-"

"Kili, there you are," A woman came from behind Fili, and looked over her younger son.

"Have you brushed your hair?" Kili huffed.

"Of course I did." He said quietly, so nobody could hear him. He was visibly embarrassed, and you let out laugh. She suddenly turned to you. Her deep blue eyes reminded you Thorin, but they had the same twinkle as Kili and, occasionally, Fili.

"I don't remember I seen you here before," she said.

"Well, I usually spend my time outside of Erebor, so I think that might be it," You nervously smiled. She hummed.

"I-I'm not a part of the royal family," you said, and almost groaned. Now that was embarrassing for sure.

"Y/N, this is my and Kili's mum, Dis. Mum, this is Y/N," Fili said, and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"I-um-" You tried to say something, but she pulled you in short hug.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," she gave you a smile, and then went back between the guests with Fili.

You let out a breath.

"That was embarrassing," you groaned. Kili chuckled.

"No, not at all. She likes you." It suddenly felt like it was much easier to breathe.

"She-she does?" Your eyes widened, and Kili nodded.

"Of course! And you can bet she will steal you to me during the evening,"

"How do you know that?" You turned to him with surprise written all over your face.

"She is my mother. I know her for a long time." He just said.

"She seems to be...different from Thorin," you said, hoping it wouldn't come out as offensive. Kili chuckled.

"Mum and Uncle really aren't that different. Uncle just focuses more on the kingdom and mum, on family," Kili said in low voice, so that only you could hear it.

When you sat down to the table, where the royal family and the Company was, you looked around. You and Kili did secretly hold hands under the table, and you talked to Dis, who was sitting across the table.

"Good evening, everyone," Thorin said, and the people got more quiet.

"It's my pleasure to meet all of you here today. I have some things to say, before the celebration starts." Thorin paused, and Kili leaned near you with a grin.

"It's just a few formalities, don't worry, love." You smiled at him back with tight smile. You felt something was not right. Thorin talked about the kingdom a little at first. The next news was, however, what you were afraid of.

"I'm very happy to say, my nephew Fili is going to marry-" you let out a breath. Kili turned to you with worry.

"Do you feel okay?" He asked, when suddenly...

"And my nephew Kili, who also has already arranged marriage, with-"

Kili stared at Thorin, and you as well.

"Kili-Kili, please-" you tried to stop Kili from going to Thorin. Kili was visibly angry, his jaw was tight, and body tense.

"Kili? What is happening?" Thorin came and let through his teeth. You suddenly felt everyone's eyes on you.

"I need some fresh air," you whispered and walked away, as quickly as you could. When you left, you came in your chambers, kneeled to your bed, and started crying.

You knew it. You should've known before.

Thorin would do this. Even when Fili and Kili were children, he would make sure they had wives already. They were princes. They needed to have a wife.

And Thorin...Thorin would never allow Kili to court you or marry you.

The next day, Kili came into your room. He had dark circles under his eyes, and gave you weak smile.

"I promise we will work this out," he muttered, and pulled you close to his chest.

Kili was asleep - and you let him - but, you thought about your situation, and tried to come up with possible solutions.

However, it was as if there weren't any.

It's been a few days, and you cuddled into your blanket. You fell asleep, and when you woke up, you looked around the room.

This place isn't for me anymore, you thought, and started packing your clothes into your bag. You changed into tunic and trousers, and wrote a letter to Kili, that you were sorry, but it was probably better to have a wife his Uncle would like, that you were leaving and never coming back, so he shouldn't be looking for you.

You quietly left the palace, and walked out in the morning. The air was fresh and nice, and for a moment, you forgot your sadness.

You walked to Dale, and decided to meet Bard. You had nowhere to go, and maybe staying there would be good, before you'd go...somewhere else.

The guards let you in, and as you thought of going to Rivendell, you noticed Bard.

"Bard?" He turned to you, and nodded at you.

"Hi Y/N. What brings you here?" You sighed.

"I'm leaving Erebor, Bard...but the problem is, I need to think about of where-" you suddenly felt dizzy, and Bard catched you. He called for a healer, that's what your hazy mind could catch.

You basically woke up, in a room. On a bed. Comfortable bed.

"Lie still, lady Y/N," the healer said. You frowned a little, when she placed her ear to your stomach.

"I can hear the heartbeat clearly. The baby is most likely around three months old," she said.

"What baby?" You asked, confused. You looked from the healer to Bard and Bard to healer. She took your hands in hers.

"You don't know, my lady? You are pregnant. I can clearly hear the heartbeat of your child," she softly smiled at you. You shook your head, and felt a few tears escaping your eyes.

"I'm...I'm with child," you whispered. You could not believe it. So perhaps, it wasn't just stress...

"Who is the father?" The healer asked, when she helped you to sit up. You nervously looked in your lap.

"Kili. Prince...Kili. Kili Durin." You said, and Bard and the healer shared a look.

"He...he doesn't know. Can we keep it a secret? Please?" You looked at them.

They said yes. Bard was like a father to you, and let you stay. He showed you chambers, that would be your home for next few months at least.

You never went back to Erebor. You thought Kili had to marry the princess, so you just tried to think of the baby you were carrying.

It wasn't that hard, honestly. The baby was often restless, though.

As if it missed Kili as much as you did...

Even if the baby would have to grow up without it's biological dad, you were sure you'd be able to take care of them well.

Some days, you were happy, and didn't think of Kili too much. It pained you, yes, and you knew you had to be strong for the baby, so you often asked someone to teach you something, such as how to prepare different meals, how to knit or how to play piano, to name a few.

Other days, you felt sad. It could be because of the weather, or hormones, some days you just woke up sad, and sometimes it was when something reminded you of Kili. Those days, the baby was the most restless, and the maids told you it was because the baby missed it's father.

You sat down to the armchair next to the window in your bedroom, and looked out on the street. Nobody could see you from here, so it made you feel safe. You looked up and seen Erebor.

"There's your daddy, over there," you whispered to the baby.

The answer you got, was soft kick.

"Does it hurt?" Sigrid asked you, looking at your belly. You smiled at her.

"No, it doesn't." You stroke your stomach. You've been pregnant for past almost nine months. Bard was so kind and let you stay, and even offered you bigger chambers, which you gladly agreeded to. The chambers were perfect size, and the baby could have their own small room, overtime.

You let out shaky breath. You wanted Kili to know about all of this. To be there with you, talk to you and to the baby.

But, it was not possible. It would hurt his reputation, and perhaps even his marriage.

You dried your tears, and carefully stood up. Even as pregnant, you were able to stand up yourself, luckily quite easily. You felt very thankful for some of your genes being from the elves, because, as Bard explained to you, humans had it harder.

When you slowly got yourself out of the castle, you breathed in. The air smelled nicely - you smelled fresh bread, old leaves, fresh air from the lake. Mix of summer and autumn. You felt it was one of the last few warm days, before the typical autumn comes.

You looked around, and your cravings were begging you for some freshly baked, soft warm bread with fresh butter, melting on top of it. You thought of the crispiness of the bread's crust, and your mouth started watering. You groaned, when you felt how your stomach let you know some snack would come handy.

You slid your hand to your pocket, and made sure you have enough money.

You started walking, to find some bakery, and as you looked around, you noticed one on the other end of the street.

You let out a breath, and started walking towards the small store.

You were almost there, when you overheard a gasps, escaping a few young girls. You slowed down and listened to their conversation.

"Did you see him?"

"Yes, I did. Do you think it really is the Prince?"

"Of course he is! I mean, look at him. I'd recognize the hair clip everywhere." You frowned a little, when you suddenly realized it. You stopped walking, and felt hot wave running down your back, and liquid running down your leg.

You carefully looked down. It was clear.

You turned around, and - damn it! - your eyes locked with Kili's in the exact moment.

He started walking towards you. You clearly recognized happiness in his eyes, and relief.

"Y/N, where have you been those past months? I was worried about you," He said, and when he was near you, you recognized even the wet shine in his chocolate eyes. You felt sudden rush of guilt.

He must have notice the guilt on your face. Kili frowned a little, when he took a notice of your belly, under the dress.

"I-you..." You noticed it. He was holding back tears. You shook your head, as you tried to hold your own.

"Kili, it isn't like this...please trust me!" You felt another wave of heat running down your back, and stepped forward, but sudden dizzines made you take wrong step. Kili quickly catched you.

"Kili, I-this is, uh..."

"You moved on," he said. You shook your head.

"No, it's...you are the father," you said, but didn't notice what was his reaction, because suddenly, you realized what was going on, as you were holding your belly.

"I need to get back, and find a healer and midwife," you let out through your gritted teeth.

"We will get there quickly," Kili let out, and you had a feeling.

"Don't you dare to faint!" You let out.

Kili helped you to get back. You noticed Sigrid, and told her to quickly find healer. She didn't ask anything, and quickly runned away. You let out a groan and gripped Kili's arm.

"Lady Y/N, we need to get you to the room prepared for labour," the healer said, and checked on your belly.

When you got there, and changed into simple gown, you laid down as the healer told you.

Kili stayed there, and you were gripping his arm and hand.

"I'm not fucking letting you to sleep with me ever again," you said through gritted teeth. Kili took a shaky breath, and you shot him a glare.

"Don't you dare to faint, Kili Durin! You did put this baby inside me nine months ago, so now-"

"This is just the pain speaking from Lady Y/N, Prince Kili. Don't take it personally," Kili gulped and nodded.

"You're doing great, love," he said carefully. You let out a huff.

"I didn't finish! Now you will deal with me breaking your arm, because it hurts!" You almost yelled at him.

"I can see the head, my Lady!" The healer smiled.

"With this next contraction, you will push as much as you can!" The healer said.

"Okay, one, two, three-push!"

"You're doing great, dear. The baby is almost there," Kili tried to cheer you up.

"You have no idea how painful it is!" You screamed.

"My lady, this is going to be your last push, are you ready?" The healer looked up at you, and you nodded.

"One, two, three, push!" The healer let out. You gripped Kili's hand, and suddenly...

You heard a baby scream.

"It's a girl!" The healer said happily. You smiled, and let out some happy tears.

"You-you did it!" Kili said, and you wiped off your eyes.

"No, we did it," you muttered, and he kissed your cheek.

"How do you feel, Y/N?"

"I'm okay," you smiled. The midwife checked on you, and handed you your baby.

"Everything seems to be in order," she said and smiled. You smiled at her back. She was there for you for all those months, and you got close.

"Thank you so much," She nodded.

"I'll leave you alone," she said, and left.

You stroke the baby's cheek.

"How are we going to name her?" Kili whispered, and stroke the baby's chubby cheek. You shrugged.

"Well...I'm not sure. I was thinking of Arina," you said.

"It's...it's beautiful name," Kili said, and you realized he was crying.

"Kili...I'm so sorry for...for hiding it from you," you whispered. Kili shook his head.

"Love...it isn't your fault. Can I...can I hug you?" You nodded, and he slid his arm around your shoulders.

"If anything, it's my fault." He muttered.

"I should've known where did you go, and-"

"Shh," you said.

"We can talk about that later. Arina's asleep now."

You were quietly watching the baby. The midwife came back soon, to check on you and the baby, and when she left, Kili spoken up.

"We talked Uncle the marriges out." You nodded.

"You left Erebor by then already. I was looking everywhere for you, only if I knew-" you subtly interrupted him.

"I didn't know either. I wanted to go to Rivendell, but...then, I found out. It would be risky, so Bard let me stay here," You shrugged.

"Do you still want to leave, though?" Kili looked at you with sad eyes, when he looked away from your daughter. You shook your head.

"No." Kili grinned, and gently brushed his hand over your cheek.

"Just for your information...mum was going nuts when she found out about the arranged marriges. She likes you a lot." You smiled, and took Kili's hand in yours.

"Well...let's hope she likes her too," You looked at Arina's sleeping face.

You came back the next day. Kili had to go to Erebor that evening, but in the morning, he came back.

When you entered, you overheard a strong female voice. You quickly realized who was the woman.

"I don't care my brother has a meeting. Go tell him he has to come here. It's a family emergency," she said, and turned to you and Kili.

"Y/N, where have you-oh, who is this?" Dis turned to you, and noticed the baby. You shared a look with Kili.

"This is your granddaughter," You said carefully. Dis looked between you and Kili, and it seemed like most things clicked to her. She smiled.

"Well..."

"Dis, what does that means?" Thorin's voice came from different hall, and you noticed Fili giving you a knowing smile.

"Thorin..." you said, and he turned to you. He seemed to be confused, but then he looked at Arina.

"What does this-"

"Uncle, let's get some privacy first," Fili said.

When you came to library, Thorin turned to you. Dis stood up, as if she would want to protect you.

"Uncle...Y/N and I started courting on the quest in secret. We planned to get married, but when you announced the arranged marriges for me and Fili, we-"

"I left Erebor, because I thought you would never accept me as partner for your nephew, Thorin. I found out I was pregnant, however, I didn't want to hurt Kili's reputation or his marrige, so I never came back to announce it. He met me in Dale yesterday, and I, um...I went to labour." Thorin has been looking at you and Kili. Your body was tense, and Fili, Kili and Dis were ready to protect you any moment.

Thorin slowly closed this eyes, and placed his face into his palms. When he looked up again, he let out a sigh.

"Fili, Kili, sister, leave us alone."

"But Uncle-" Fili said, but Thorin shook his head.

"I said, leave us alone. It won't be long." They three left, and you were a bit afraid.

"Kili is a prince, yes. But, he is also a dwarf, who needs to have someone who he is happy with." Thorin said, looking away from you.

"I noticed, of course. You make him happy, Y/N. I thought it was just childish love, that you would leave, and it would break Kili's heart. I owe you honest apology, Y/N. For thinking you wouldn't take his love seriously." He looked at you, and you let out a small smile. You nodded.

"Apology accepted, Thorin. Courting Kili makes me incredibly happy, and I am honored to say he is my lover," you said, and Thorin looked at you.

"Well, and when it comes to, um...you staying, you can stay here. If you would like to."

"I'd be very thankful."

A few years later

"Fi, look!" Kili said, as Arina walked towards Kili, again. She was giggling, as her father was dancing with her. You laughed.

"Kili, be careful!"

"Daddy, look!" The little girl pointed to a butterfly, who sat on her dress.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Kili said, and she pouted.

"Don't move, or it will fly away!" Arina let out, and let the butterfly gently walk on her palm.

"Uncle, look, I got a butterfly!" Arina showed it to Fili, who nodded with nervous face.

"Oh, it's beautiful, Ari. Would you put it, um, a bit away from me, please?" She put the butterfly on a flower, and Fili let out a breath.

"I'm sleepy, mommy." She came to you, and lean her head on your shoulder.

"Ari?" A little boy came, and the girl jumped up with grin.

"Vili!" She squealed, and started tickling her cousin.

"Granny!" Arina gasped, when she noticed Dis.

"You are growing up so fast, Ari!" She said proudly, and you two shared a look.

"Aye, that's what she does," Kili let out a chuckle, and gently kissed your cheek.

#kili #kili x reader #fili #fili x reader #thorin #thorin x reader #the hobbit #gandalf #gandalf x reader #bilbo baggins #bilbo x reader #bilbo baggins x reader #the hobbit fanfiction #request #requested #kili x you #kili x y/n

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wlntrsldler · 4 years

Note

okay hear me out the cardigan, betty, august love triagle to reader x fred x angelina i've been thinking about it since folklore came

PROMPT: based on cardigan, betty, and august by taylor swift (an installment of my taylor swift x harry potter series. to read more about it, click here) Y/N and Fred see each other after 7 years and she finally lets him know that she knew that he cheated on her with Angelina all those years ago. (fred lives au lol)

also my submission for @wand3ringr0s3‘s 1.9k follower writing challenge!

“i knew it was too good to be true.”

“was in love with you. was.”

WC: 1.5K+

WARNINGS: infidelity, angst

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

cardigan x betty x august (f.w one shot)

“Why did you leave?”

You froze in your spot when you heard those words come out of Fred’s lips. The party behind the two of you was still in full swing— a party where his sister and her groom were celebrating their undying love for one another; Unbeknownst to them, just a few feet away, was the dying breath of another love.

You turned to face the man you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. You thought about the years you’ve wasted pining after Fred Weasley, dreaming of him like he was the one who put the stars in the sky. He was your safety blanket, one to cover you with a sense of comfort and belonging in a way that nobody was ever able to. He clouded your judgement until you didn’t know right from wrong anymore, and yet, not once did he take advantage of his hold on you— because he’s a good man.

And you hated it.

You hated how even though he was the same man who made you doubt in the power of love; even though he was the man who haunted you in your darkest hours; even though he was the man who laid beside a woman who wasn’t you, tangled in the white sheets while he was supposed to be devoted to you; you still knew he was a good man.

“You don’t get to ask me questions,” you breathed out, shutting your eyes tightly. You couldn’t look him in the eye, not while his eyes are flaming with anger and suffering.

“The hell I don’t!” he exclaimed, stomping over to you. His tone was harsh, but even that couldn’t mask the quivering of his words. “Why did you leave me?”

You finally opened your eyes, after feeling his breath tickling your skin, “You left me first, Fred.”

His eyebrows furrowed, genuine confusion evident in his features. Fred gulped, blinking a few times, not expecting that answer, “What are you on about?”

“Angelina Johnson.”

And just like that, Fred felt his knees grow weak.

His face paled, all color draining from his once red cheeks. He knows exactly what you were talking about. But he wished he didn’t.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice turning into a broken whisper, “I-I can explain.”

“No need,” you dismissed, staring at your feet. You kicked around the grass, sending small pebbles to ripple across the garden. “It’s been years, Fred. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Obviously, it does,” he insisted, stepping closer to you. He couldn’t help but shed a tear when you took a step back.

You shyly looked at your fingers, unable to look at him in the eyes once more. It has been seven years since you found him sleeping soundly beside Angelina Johnson, right before the war. You confessed your feelings for him a few hours before that night, even going so far as kissing him under the moonlight before you went off to fight in the battle of Hogwarts the next day. You didn’t speak to him the entire time and you left without another word once the war was over.

“Can we talk about this?”

“No, Fred,” you hissed, not even bothering to wipe the tears that were falling from your eyes, “Do you know how many times I’ve cried while we were still at Hogwarts because people would whisper about how bloody pathetic I am for being madly in love with you? You daft git! I would’ve done anything for you, Fred. Everyone but you could see that.”

You grimaced as you continued, “Do you know how it feels to confess your love for someone and then finding them in bed with another woman not even a day later? Do you know how it feels to lose your best friend and the one you love all in a blink of an eye?”

“Y/N, listen-”

“No, you listen,” you exhaled. In that small moment of silence, you faintly heard the crowd chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and you felt so guilty having this conversation during two of your closest friends’ magical night. You looked at Fred, “I was so happy that night, you know? We’ve been best friends for ages before that and you always told me that I was deserving of love. I never believed you until that night because Merlin, if I’m deserving of Fred Weasley then maybe I am deserving of love.”

“You are,” he squeaked, trembling like your words were daggers stabbing him.

You ignored him, “I felt so stupid after seeing you with Angelina because then I knew it was too good to be true. I couldn’t even bring myself to confront you about it.”

“I-” you chuckled humorlessly, throat beginning to close up, “I wanted you, Fred. A-and obviously, you belonged to someone else and I just… I couldn’t be there anymore. I couldn’t be here anymore! How I managed to still be friends with Ginny or visit Charlie in Romania when I was there for work— knowing full well that I saw you every time I looked at them— without bursting into tears, I don’t know! But I left for me, Fred. I needed to put myself back together again.”

“Y/N, if I had known you’re in love with me-”

“Was in love with you,” you corrected, although you didn’t know if what you were saying was the truth, “Was.”

He flinched but continued, “-was in love with me, then I wouldn’t hav-”

“Wouldn’t have fucked her?”

Fred faltered, your words twisting the knife that was already buried in his chest. He nodded sadly, “Yeah.”

“Fred, you would’ve done it anyway.”

“No, I wouldn’t!” he pleaded, rushing over to you. “I wouldn’t because I was in love with you! I’m still in love with you! Had I known you weren’t just saying that because we were going into war, I swear Y/N things would’ve been so different.”

“Please save it,” you placed a hand on his chest, keeping him at arms distance.

He grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips as he peppered kisses to your knuckles. His tears touched your skin, the warmth of it making you shudder. You pulled your hand that he held closer to you, wanting to feel him near you, even just for a moment. You watched in despair as he murmured apologies into your skin.

His eyes were closed, eyelashes touching the scar on the crease of your index finger. Fred looked at you through blurred vision, eyes red from crying and pleading. You couldn’t hear anything else but his sobs, the sounds from the wedding long forgotten. Fred whispered, not knowing if you were even listening to him anymore.

Please. Please. Please.

You stared at the boy in front of you in all his glory, vulnerable for you. Subconsciously you stroked his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb, humming as he nudged his face into your touch. Fred’s bottom lip quivered, twisting his head to kiss your palm. He whispered again.

Please. Please. Please.

“Freddie,” you finally spoke. You felt his lips twitch to a smile at the way his nickname still sounded so smooth rolling off your tongue, so sweet like honey.

“Hm?”

“I want to forgive you.”

“So please forgive me,” he said so softly you almost didn’t catch it.

You pulled your hand away, holding it close to your chest. You stared at each other, taking in each other’s presence for the first time in seven years. He looked more mature. The years you’ve spent apart were kind to him. He looked more handsome than ever.

You stared at the scar on his eyebrow— the one that he got when he tried to teach you how to fly in your third year. You stared at his eyes— the same ones you used to dream about waking up next to in the morning. You stared at his lips— the ones that you had the pleasure to feel on yours on that forsaken night.

“I want to forgive you,” you echoed, allowing yourself to bask in his presence one last time, “But I can’t, Fred.”

Silence.

“You-” you paused, collecting yourself before continuing. You looked up at the sky briefly, letting out a shaky breath, “You broke me. I have spent years trying to fix myself. All those years apart, all I’ve done is try to forget you but you’re everywhere, Fred. You’re the person in my dreams and in my nightmares all together. Everything reminds me of you.”

“And I’d be lying to myself if I said I don’t love you because I do,” you confessed, now looking at him intently, “I fear that I’ll always love you. I fear that I’ll always be tied to you. I fear that you’re probably the love of my life and I hate the part of me that still hopes that you are.”

“Because if love is supposed to feel like this— if love is supposed to hurt like this— then I’d rather not love anyone for the rest of my life,” you began to quiet down, wiping the tears on your cheeks. You started to walk back to the party, deciding that you’ve missed too much of the night already, “It was good to see you, Freddie.”

Fred watched as you retreated back to the party, a fake smile plastered on your face. He stood there in the dark, crying silently and blaming himself for the mistake he made seven years ago, as he watched the love of his life give up on him.

tags: @rexorangecouny

#wand3ring1.9kchallenge #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #frances x taylor swift x harry potter #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x yn #fred weasley fanfic #frances writes #frances song fics

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esmealux · 3 years

Note

Hi there! For the two-part drabble, may I request Deckerstar in situation 13 (someone does something stupid) with sentence 6 ("Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That's still up for debate.") Thank you, and I've really really been enjoying your the updates on your Planning a Hell of a Wedding fic!

Hey! It took me two months (including more than one month of writing) but I've now finally finished your prompt. Another anon had requested 25 (being somewhere you're not supposed to) + 6 and dear @my-crazy-awesome-sox had requested 26 (a very cheesy date) + 6, so I've merged all your prompts into one 7K+ long 'drabble'. Hope you don't mind!

And I'm glad you like the updates on PHW! I'll try to write some more now that I've finished this.

Hope you like this!

Also, an immense special thanks to @my-crazy-awesome-sox for helping me with this fic. She truly has been a godsend, and a lot of the wording (especially in the later parts) is kindly and almost directly borrowed from her mind. Thank you again, babe!

Also thanks to @lightbringer-666 for assisting me with some French. If all the French isn't perfect, it's because I also googled my way to a lot of it. Apologies in advance (and please do let me know if there's anything I should change!)

Someone does something stupid + being somehwere you're not supposed to + a very cheesy date + 'Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That's still up for debate.'

Rated M. Post 5B - contains spoilers!

Read on AO3 (includes list with English translations)

It’s ridiculous, really. The butterflies fluttering in her stomach like she’s a schoolgirl waiting for her prom date. It’s not even their first date. It’s not even their second. The thing is, between becoming God and Consultant, revising a few laws of the cosmos, fixing some bugs in humanity, bringing Dan to Heaven, and going to therapy, she and Lucifer haven’t had much time for, well, each other. At least not in ways that didn’t involve discussions about the redesign of the afterworld and how to sate world hunger. So yes, she is a little giddy with excitement at the thought of having a whole evening to themselves—no celestial craziness. Just the two of them and a bottle of the restaurant’s finest.

If Lucifer would just show up.

She checks her phone. 06:14. Unlike last time she anxiously waited for him in a restaurant, there’s a text.

Running a bit late. Please forgive me. Can’t wait to see you ❤

And one more.

Sorry. Can’t wait to see you naked*

Chloe shakes her head, a stupid smile spreading across her face. She resists typing back a flirty reply—he’ll be with her in a minute, and she is nota schoolgirl—and puts her phone back in her clutch. Hands trembling a little, she smooths out invisible creases in the dress he’s bought her. It’s short and tight, of course, but perfectly so. Reaching mid-thigh, with a small slit revealing a bit more of her left thigh. Black, unsurprisingly; he still hasn’t gotten over how delectable she looked in the LBD she wore on their last ‘date’. And this one makes her legs look even longer, which is undoubtedly the primary reason Lucifer picked it. Still, it isn’t skimpy. He could have opted for a deep neckline and cold shoulders—she almost expected him to when he said he’d bought her a dress—but he didn’t. Instead, the short and skin-tight skirt is perfectly balanced with a high neck and long bell sleeves that are cut open just above her joints, making the soft fabric flow around her bare underarms. She likes it—would probably have bought it herself if it weren’t crazy expensive. Likes how it makes her feel both sexy and classy and most of all comfortable, likes that he knows her so well.

She fidgets with her earring and traces the rim of her empty wine glass with her fingertip, watching people as much as she can from their semi-private corner. She spots an Oscar-winning film director, a retired NFL player, that pop star Lucifer pretends to hate, and just how expensive isthis place?

She’s immediately distracted by the shift in the air and the sound of Italian loafers approaching her.

‘My me, Detective!’

His brown eyes roam her figure as she stands to kiss him. Their lips meet in a soft peck that could easily have turned into more if Lucifer hadn’t pulled away to look her up and down.

‘You look like a goddess.’

Chloe snorts and chuckles, not yet used to the title he insists is hers if she’ll have it. She puts a hand on his chest, gazing up at him with a smile.

‘You don’t look too bad yourself.’

He hums and leans in for another kiss, but something comes between them this time. They both look down—at a dozen red roses.

‘Those for me?’ she asks, warmth spreading in her chest.

Lucifer hands her the bouquet with a nod and that soft smile she loves more than anything. He pulls out her chair, a gentle hand on her shoulder as she sits down, and sits down himself.

There’s a card nestled between the velvet petals: ‘For the Detective & Consultant’, her old and new moniker scribbled side by side in his annoyingly elegant handwriting. The latter nickname, however, is written in smaller, cramped letters—an afterthought. She smiles.

She turns the card, expecting to find a dirty, eye-roll-deserving comment on the back. But there’s no lewd joke or naughty promise.

It simply says, ‘I love you.’

Her heart swells, filling her chest till it aches. It’s all so new still. Not the love between them, but how it’s uninhibited now. It’s not like they don’t have their obstacles—just yesterday they had a fight—but there’s no doubt anymore, no voices telling them some dreams simply cannot be. They might have a whole universe to deal with, but for the first time ever, things between them are easy. No words are left unsaid. No feelings are squashed. No time is wasted. Every day is spent wrapped in each other’s love. Finally.

‘I love you too,’ she tells him, and he lights up, amazed. Confident. Their hands find each other on the table, fingers intertwining.

A waiter comes by with two menu cards and a vase for the flowers. Chloe reads through the menu carefully, pretending to know what kind of food hides behind the fancy French names. Lucifer sees right through her, sighs, and orders some hors d’œuvres, two of something she couldn’t pronounce if she tried, and a bottle of red.

‘So, were you stuck in traffic, or…?’ Chloe asks him with a glint in her eye as the waiter pours her a generous glass of wine. The celestial being with the supernatural metabolism can drive home.

The being in question looks confused for a moment before he answers, ‘Ah, no. I’m sorry I kept you waiting.’ For a brief second, he looks at her as if he’s apologising for more than tonight, but she strokes his knuckles and smiles at him, you’re here now, and he moves on to explain himself. ‘I just couldn’t find this bloody suit. Only when I’d ransacked the house did I realise it was still at the penthouse, so I had to make a detour.’

He is a little excused; so many things are impossible to find right now, with more or less unpacked boxes spread out between her apartment, Lux, and their new home. In hindsight, moving in together while taking over the almighty family business probably wasn’t the best idea, but they’ll get settled soon enough. Besides, right now, what’s important is that Lucifer was late because of a wardrobe crisis, and she will not let that slide.

‘You couldn’t just wear one of your three hundred other suits?’

A flicker of hurt and sheepishness flashes across Lucifer’s face.

‘Well, this one is special.’

Chloe takes in his suit: the navy jacket, the matching waistcoat, the royal blue shirt.

‘Oh.’

He smirks at her as heat creeps up her cheeks (so much for not being a schoolgirl).

‘You remember?’

She does. Of course, she does. She remembers vividly—how shocked he’d been at first, how new and soft his lips had felt against hers. How they’d held onto each other until the sun was setting and she really did have to go home and feed Maze and Trixie.

She also remembers how she, later, behind closed lids, had ripped off the shirt and waistcoat in desperate need. How it’d earned her a husky chuckle and a breathy ‘D’tective!’, and the sinful Heaven that was his hot and open mouth.

‘You okay, darling?’ Lucifer looks at her, his expression somewhere between concerned and amused. His thumb brushes the back of her hand.

Chloe takes a sip of wine and clears her throat. Adjusts her necklace.

‘Yeah, just, you know. Reminiscing.’

He studies her flushed face for a second before his curious smile spreads into a full-blown Cheshire grin.

‘You had a wet dream about me, didn’t you?! After our first kiss?’

Chloe glares at him. ‘Say it a little louder for the people in the back, will ya?’ He opens his mouth, and she immediately feels the need to clarify, ‘Do not say it a little louder for the people in the back.’

His smile doesn’t falter. ‘I’m just ecstatic to know our first kiss left you all hot and bothered. I mean, not that I’m surprised.’ He brings his wine glass to his lips and lets go of her hand to gesture down himself.

Chloe rolls her eyes. ‘Yeah, like you didn’t go home and wanked yourself blind that night.’

He laughs, surprised by her bluntness, and shamelessly answers, ‘Why, of course I did. That night, other nights. Before and after that kiss. This morning. You serve as quite the spank bank, my dear.’

She definitely doesn’t blush at that. But she does glance down at his waistcoat, at the soft skin and hard muscles she knows hide beneath it. She gives him a slow and dirty smirk, appreciative.

‘You too, baby.’

Lucifer raises an eyebrow, his eyes darkening. Much to Chloe’s satisfaction, his neck and cheeks redden a little. Then he gives her a lopsided grin, smug and impressed.

‘Pray tell, Detective.’ His eyes glide down her face, her chest, her stomach, and slowly back up again.

In another time, she would have given him a stern look and told him it was none of his business, but she doesn’t. She also doesn’t tell him about lonely nights and long showers and crying his name into her pillow when they were still just friends. Instead, she leans across the table and half-whispers—

‘If you behave yourself tonight, I might show you.’

He gulps. Squirms a little in his seat, and—when he’s regained his composure and quite indiscreetly adjusted himself under the table—leans forward till there’s only mere inches between their faces.

‘Is that a promise?’ His voice is low and husky, his breath hot against her face. His eyes drop to her lips.

‘Pardon, monsieur, mais l’entrée est prête.’

They lean back in their seats and turn to the poor, young waiter, who’s balancing two seemingly heavy plates, a carafe of water, and a basket of crusty bread in his arms.

‘Lovely!’ Lucifer’s eyes follow the food as the waiter puts it down in front of them. ‘Merci beaucoup, Olivier.’

Olivier smiles at Lucifer, shy but with a look in his eyes Chloe knows all too well. She doesn’t blame him.

‘Ça va?’ Lucifer asks, his voice lined with genuine fondness.

Olivier nods. ‘Oui, ça va. Et toi?’

Lucifer looks to Chloe, beaming. He takes her hand on the table and interlocks their fingers again.

‘Tout va très bien,’ he answers, looking back up at Olivier with a dazzling smile.

Olivier’s eyes drop to their hands and, probably, to the ring, white and pearlescent, on Chloe’s third finger. His lips tug up at the corner.

‘Je peux voir ça. Félicitations!’ Before Lucifer can respond to that, whatever it means, Olivier gestures towards their food. ‘Et bon appétit.’

Lucifer replies with a friendly ‘merci’ and calls out something like ‘Salue ton père de ma part!’ as Olivier walks off.

Chloe stares at Lucifer, twirling the smashed bullet around her neck between her fingers.

‘What?’ he asks, curious.

She tilts her head, smiling. ‘French suits you.’

He smiles back, lasciviously. ‘Yeah?’

‘Mm-hm.’

The look he gives her leaves no doubt that, sooner or later, he’ll be whispering foreign phrases against her skin.

But right now, they have other appetites to sate. They dig into the first course, and the (assumedly) insanely high prices suddenly make sense, because it is frigging good. The main course is even more delicious—divine, actually, to the point where Chloe has to ask Lucifer if he accidentally spiked the food with a blessing or two. He assures her it’s all Olivier’s father, no holiness involved, apart from Chef Beaumont’s heavenly cœeur de filet de bœuf. Chloe moans in agreement, savouring every bite.

He watches her with a smile, jokingly apologising for not serving her grilled cheese, and she makes a bad joke about this date being cheesy enough as it is. Because it is cheesy. Him buying her a dress, bringing her red roses, the love note, the candlelit restaurant, the French food, not to mention the suit. It’s like a rom-com parody.

But it’s also perfect. It’s everything she’s longed for, an over-the-top romantic date night with her- with her partner. A date that isn’t cut short by a horny stewardess (may she rest in peace) or a failed attempt at exorcism; where Lucifer actually shows up and isn’t just trying to outdo another man; where Chloe isn’t trying to make him ‘do something good for a change’; and their parents aren’t tagging along on a headache-inducing surprise double date that is also a sting in disguise.

So, in some ways, it is kinda their first date.

And it’s a really, really nice date.

They laugh—they laugh so much. More than they’ve done in the past few months combined. Or so it feels, at least.

They laugh, and they talk. About movies they cried to, favourite drinks, and how they’re gonna paint the living room. About the summers spent under the plum tree in Nana’s garden, and all the pranks pulled in the gilded meadows of Heaven. About chasing Amenadiel through the clouds, and how Chloe always wanted a sibling. About her short-lived Hollywood experience and that one time she may have gotten a little high at a Backstreet Boys concert. (He seems impressed by that, her ‘abhorrent’ taste in music aside.) They exchange secrets they never told anyone, stories of bad kisses—Jed used too much tongue; Will was always better with words—and tales from drunken nights out. They reminisce on the first time they met—how annoying she’d found him, how compelling he’d found her—and the many, many cases, some really weird, that first encounter led to.

They talk about Dan.

About missing him, even though he’s making waffles with Charlotte now.

About Trixie, and how therapy seems to be helping her, too. How she still sometimes breaks down crying, but no longer crawls into their bed in the middle of the night, shaking and gasping for air. How she’d laughed the other day, and it’d made them both cry. How incredibly strong she is, that little urchin.

They talk about going to Paris one day, all three of them—the French do make excellent chocolate cakes—or maybe somewhere else she wants to see, once everything is calmer. They talk about some of the prayers Lucifer has been hearing, about faith and free will, what they miss about solving crimes together, what they don’t miss, and how they’re still very much partners, even more so now—in every corner of life.

They talk till their cheeks hurt from smiling and Chloe’s half-drunk on expensive Burgundy. Lucifer asks for the cheque, their food long gone, and pays with cash, making sure to leave a tip possibly the size of Olivier’s monthly salary.

They leave the restaurant giggling about a stupid joke Lucifer makes, his hand splayed out on the small of her back. Her own hand is placed much lower than what is decent for such a fancy place like this, practically cupping his ass, but she’s tipsy enough not to care, and he doesn’t seem to mind the attention. It’s his own fault, anyway, for having his pants tailored to hug his butt like this.

Naturally, Lucifer drives. He doesn’t hold back his comments on how slow and boring her car is, but at least he stays somewhere close to the speed limit. She wishes he’d also wear a seatbelt, and keep both hands on the wheel, but his palm is nice and warm on her thigh, and she trusts he’ll get them home safely. She leans back in her seat, her head comfortably buzzing from wine and him, and watches the blurry city lights through the window. He’s turned down 2ndStreet.

‘Where are we going?’ She looks over at him, curious.

He smiles in the shadows, his fingers stroking the skin left exposed by the slit in her dress. His touch leaves hot, tingling paths on her thigh.

‘I thought we’d go for a second desert.’

Chloe is beyond full, her dress stretched over her now slightly rounder belly, and she can think of other things she’d rather do (things that include pinning Lucifer to their bed and making him groan and beg and laugh), but she’ll never say no to a freshly brewed latte and watching Lucifer obscenely enjoy some Sicilian pastry.

She turns up the radio, fumbling a bit, and closes her eyes with a smile, more content than she’s been in… a long time. His hand stays on her thigh as they move through the night, fingers tapping to the beat of the songs against her skin, creeping higher, teasing, just enough to make her breath hitch, but nothing more, and then back down again. Maybe they’ll just take that latte to-go.

The car comes to a final halt, and first then does Chloe realise they haven’t stopped outside the late-night café and bakery that’s opened down on Spring Street.

‘Lucifer, what’—she looks around, double-checking—‘what are we doing at the back entrance to the precinct? You said we were getting desert.’

He leans across the centre console, fingers spreading on her thigh, and brings their faces so close their noses touch. Chloe swallows.

‘We are,’ he assures her with a wolfish grin, his gaze lingering hungrily on her, and she could jump him right then and there. But he takes his hand off her body and clicks her seatbelt free, pulls the key out of the ignition and exits the car. He strides to her side and opens the door for her, gentlemanly as ever, and she watches him with narrowed eyes as she takes his hand and steps out, sceptical even in her cloud of lust and inebriation.

He heads directly for the back entrance and opens the black iron door with ease, rudely ignoring the state-of-the-art security locks. A part of her knows she should stop him right there and give him a stern talking-to about respecting human laws—he still can’t do whatever the hell he likes just because he’s God now. But another part, the part of her who helped him empty two bottles of French wine, really wants to step over that threshold, to intertwine their fingers and go on a late-night adventure. And that part of her must overpower the other, because she lets him snake his arm around her waist and lead her through the door and inside the familiar building.

She senses him grinning by her side, his fingers curling around her hip in a deliciously tight grip that only stokes the heat pooling low in her belly. He takes her down the corridor, around the corner, and then they’re there, in the middle of the precinct. Everything is covered in darkness, the wide, open space only illuminated by a never-resting info screen and the purplish glow from the vending machine. Still, she can make out the shape of their desk, the door to Ella’s lab, the interrogation room. The fridge in the breakroom still hums obnoxiously, and the air smells like strong coffee and sugary glaze—or maybe that’s just a phantom. Either way, it all tugs at her heart, beckons her down memory lane, and she lets herself be pulled. Through the good, the bad, and the crazy.

Lucifer is quiet beside her, probably lost in nostalgia himself, or maybe just letting her have this moment. But not for long. With titillating eagerness and a devilish smirk, he wraps his fingers around her wrist and pulls her by the hand—towards the evidence closet.

He presses her up against the door, his body hot and hard against hers, and pins her hand against the cold glass of the frosted window. His dark eyes sparkle with mischievous excitement.

‘There’s something we never got to try.’

Her pulse quickens, blood humming loud and hot.

‘Lucifer, we can’t.’ She tries to sound firm around her suddenly heavy breaths and dry throat, but he doesn’t seem discouraged in the least.

He leans in, closer, his smirking lips brush against her ear. ‘Can’t we, now?’

And as if he hadn’t done enough already, he takes her earlobe between his teeth and bites it.

Chloe smothers a gasp.

‘We shouldn’t.’ She puts her hand on his chest and pushes her head against his, nudging him away from her neck so she can thinkfor a second. He reluctantly obeys and settles for placing his hands on her sides, dangerously high, thumbs almost stroking the underside of her breasts. She pushes his hands down to her waist. ‘We shouldn’t have sex in Evidence—shouldn’t have broken into the precinct in the first place. I mean, do you want us to get arrested?’

He only laughs at that, of course. ‘I’m God, darling. I won’t get arrested.’

Chloe rolls her eyes. He would probably charm his way out of it if they were caught, God or not—but that doesn’t make any of this okay. She’s about to tell him as much when he adds-

‘But if you wanted to cuff me and tell me what to do, resisting would be the last thing on my mind. In fact, I’m sure we can find some cuffs lying about-’

‘Lucifer, no.’

Her tone is sharper than she’d intended. He pulls back a little, studying her face. His eyes flicker to her parted lips, her flushed, heaving chest, and then back to her determined gaze. His brows furrow.

‘Do you really not want to do this?’ His voice is soft, serious.

They stare at each other, hot breaths mingling. He’s still pressed up against her, a six-foot-three wall of muscle and love, and his scent—spicy cologne and smoke—floods her head like ambrosia, a dizzying fog of him. Her skin burns beneath his palms, his touch sending embers through the expensive fabric and down, flames licking at her inner thighs. Her heartbeat thumps in her ears.

‘We don’t even work here anymore,’ she rasps, deflecting his question. It’s a weak excuse, but she is fraying at the edges.

A salacious smile forms on Lucifer’s face. ‘We’ll just pretend we do.’

He takes a step back, putting a more ‘professional’ distance between them, adjusts his lapels and attempts at a neutral expression. ‘You wanted to show me something in Evidence, Detective?’

And there’s that word again, want—because she still hasn’t answered his question and her consent means more to him than anything. She loves him for that, she really does, but right now, it’s not that simple. She wants, every cell in her body wants, wants him to shove her into that closet and take her apart. Has wanted it for so long, thought about it for years—at her desk, in the shower, while sitting next to him during interrogations. Thought about it in the self-same evidence closet, as she was pressed up against the wall by someone else. Imagined tugging at his hair, feeling him between her legs—even had to swallow his name. She still thinks about it, thought about it the other night, briefly, wistfully, while making a cup of tea. Thought about how much fun they could have had, sneaking off to secret corners of the precinct like two horny teenagers—if it hadn’t been for, well, mostly Michael, and all the chaos he’d released upon their lives.

In fact, it’s only fair they have at least one reckless, semi-public rendezvous. Just one. To make up for the honeymoon phase they never really had. With all the hurt and heartbreak they’ve had to go through, alone and together, they deserve to have one night of stupid fun.

On the other hand, and this is why it’s not that simple, it’s a bad idea. It’s a really bad idea. And also, pretty illegal. If she asked him to, if she said no now, he would take her home and push her up against the nearest surface, bury himself in her faster than any of them could get their clothes off, bring her to ecstasy-

But it’s not the same. It just isn’t.

With as much innocence she can muster, she looks up at his anticipatory face and puts her hand on the doorknob. The cold steel is a soothing balm against her burning skin.

‘I do want to show you something in Evidence.’

He lights up like it’s a declaration of love, all unrestrained enthusiasm.

‘After you, darling.’

Their lips crash against each other before the door is even closed. He pushes her backwards in the semi-darkness, between shelves and boxes, hands low on her hips. His fingers dig softly into her ass as they stumble towards a sliver of wall together, panting and laughing against each other’s mouths. He doesn’t break contact with her lips as he quickly sheds his jacket on the way and throws it over his shoulder, for the moment uncaring of dirt and creases. Then her back hits the wall with a thunk and she’s instantly struck by déjà vu, until Lucifer grabs her thigh inside the slit of her dress, and the unwelcome memory quickly evaporates in the heat of their clashing bodies as he wraps her bare leg around his waist and pins her to the wall with the hard press of his hips. Their unison groans fill the cramped space.

‘We shouldn’t be here,’ she murmurs breathlessly against his lips before opening her mouth to let his tongue back in. He tastes like wine and crème brûlée.

He hums in disagreement. ‘We should always be here, Detective.’ With the hand still on her ass, he pushes their bodies impossibly closer together and rocks against her. She moans, despite herself.

‘We- I-‘ Chloe stammers, leaning her head back as he kisses his way down her neck, her mind and body pulling in different directions. ‘This is- why am I letting you get away with this?’

She feels him smirk against her throat. His hand slowly glides up her inner thigh—her pulse quickening with every inch—until his thumb brushes past damp fabric.

‘Because you like me.’ His beard rasps against her hot skin in the crook of her neck, a contrast to his soft lips placing slow, open-mouthed kisses from her jaw to her collar. ‘Because you love me.’

Chloe scoffs.

‘Do I love you?’ she questions, her breathing erratic, her eyes turned to the ceiling as he sucks a mark onto her neck. With the hand that is still between her legs, he pushes her underwear to the side and rubs against her, nice and slow. ‘Yes.’ Her gasped answer has a proud, almost victorious chuckle rumbling from his chest.

‘But do I like you?’—she bites her lip and stifles another moan as his fingers press just right—‘That’s still up for debate.’

He breaks off the assault on her neck and looks up at her, eyes black with desire.

‘Allow me to try and tip the scales, then.’

She’s bereaved of his fingers as his hand moves to the edge of her underwear, pulling it down as he sinks to his knees. She almost stumbles when he slips it over her feet, but he grabs her leg, steadying her, and helps her out of her stilettos. Once she’s barefoot, his warm palms slide up the side of her legs, pushes the hem of her dress up a few inches, and then his mouth is on her.

He licks her, slowly, tenderly. She reaches down to pull at his hair, commanding him to give her more, to take more, and he does. He starts feasting on her, all tongue and lips and-

‘God, yes.’

He chuckles smugly into her core. ‘I do love it when you moan my name, darling.’ Eyes fixed on hers, he gives her a nice, long lick before he dives back in. He kisses her clit, sucks it, circles it, laps at her like he can’t get enough, and she’s reduced to a quivering, whimpering mess. She bucks against his face, needing more, and he does that thing that she likes, tongue flicking her clit, warm and wet, as he pushes a finger inside her.

Her eyes clench shut, her head falls back against the wall. She doesn’t bother holding back her groan this time.

Lucifer hums against her, low and greedy, taking as much as he can, before he pulls away with ragged breaths. ‘Ma déesse, que tu as bon gout.’

The meaning is forever lost on her, but his hungry tone, the way his tongue wraps smoothly around the French syllables, the words dripping like sin from his glistening lips, sends warm shivers down her spine.

He slows down his pace inside her, places kisses on her lower belly, seeks her ticklish spots and the ones that make her breath hitch, and then trails down to her hips, studying her sharp bone with his lips and his teeth, before moving down to her thigh, stubble prickling her tender skin. As if he’s got all the time in the world, he lets his mouth travel to the insides of her legs, already spread for him, and kisses a path up her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to where she aches with need,but never quite there. His finger, still moving slowly—too slowly—curls a bit, reaches that spot deep inside her that usually makes her see stars, but he pulls back before she’s even done gasping.

‘Lucifer,’ she breathes, a threat and a plea.

He places one last kiss to her sensitive thigh, nuzzles his nose against her heat, before his tongue finally finds her clit again and his finger starts pumping inside her, fast and hard. Then faster, harder, and, fuck, deeper.

‘Baby,’ she begs him to continue, fire spreading through her body, from her curling toes to her already heated cheeks.

He slows down for a second, and she reaches down to scratch at his scalp in frustration but quickly forgives him when he adds another finger and resumes his perfect pace, thrusting up in her to the beat of her racing heart.

‘Je veux te faire jouir.’ His thumb replaces his tongue as he looks up at her, eyes sparkling with lust and determination, but also patience. Like he could do this for hours, the whole night, as long as she falls apart around his tongue and fingers in the end.

He doesn’t need all night, though. She’s close, so close, can feel the beginning of that blissful high burning in her lower belly, between her thighs, where his mouth licks and nibbles and sucks. A building warmth pumping through her veins. She grabs at his hair, wraps her leg around his shoulder and pushes his face closer into her heat, needing that last-

‘Fuck, right there,’ she gasps. Right there right there right there.

He smirks against her, always eager to please, and does as she says. As she’s teetering on the edge, he curls both fingers inside her, goes impossibly deeper, and reaches the same spot as before, except this time, he doesn’t stop, and she comes with a shudder and a gasped ‘fuck!’ as he licks her through it.

‘Tu es tellement belle, ma chérie,’ he tells her, voice soft with awe as she comes down from her high and opens her eyes. She understands enough of the words to smile down at him, at his dishevelled hair, his swollen lips, and warm, chocolatey eyes.

‘You too, baby.’

She still hasn’t caught her breath when he, after wiping his mouth on her thigh, slowly rises from his feet and starts making his way up her body. His fingers skate lightly up her dress, his knuckles brushing against her rising and falling ribs as his hands sneak higher and higher, closer and closer. With a feather-light touch, he starts tracing the curves of her breasts, deliberately avoiding her aching nipples. He teases her with his fingers, kisses her neck, lips trailing, hot and slow, up to her jaw and the sensitive spot behind her earlobe.

‘J’ai envie de toi,’ he says into her ear, his voice rough with want and determination.

Chloe can’t take it anymore. She fists his waistcoast in one hand and grabs him by the hair with the other to pull him up into a hard kiss. He tries to stay in control, to hold back his obvious desire for just a little longer, but he quickly loses the battle and lets a bit of hunger take over. They pour equal heat into the kiss, tongues pressing and teeth clashing as their mouths slide against each other. She threads her fingers through his curls, he bites her lip, and they both groan and gasp into the kiss.

Chloe’s the one to pull away, needing air sooner than him. They’re looking into each other’s eyes, both panting, when he says it again, ‘J’ai envie de toi.’ This time, breathy desperation shines through his voice. ‘Je veux être en toi.’

And then they’re kissing again and both of them are working at his belt and pants in a flurry of hands until he’s finally inside her with one quick thrust. He fills her to the hilt, deliciously stretching her inner muscles, warm and hard. For a moment, they’re both so overcome they can only pause and breathe, Lucifer’s forehead cradled in the crook of her shoulder as her hand gently strokes the short hairs on the back of his neck.

He pulls back to look deeply into her eyes, and starts off slow. Not teasing, just tender. He kisses her cheeks and neck, every inch of skin he can reach with his lips, and whispers sweet nothings against her skin. She can’t know for sure, of course, because it’s still in French, and she doesn’t catch all of it, the sounds alien and muffled—‘t’es incroyable’, she hears, ‘j’suis fou amoureux de toi’—but something about his tone tells her it’s not as dirty as whatever he was saying before. Still, it makes her just as wet, the words tingling across her skin.

He picks up the pace, wraps her legs tighter around him, and pushes her harder against the wall. His hand grasps her breast roughly, seeking purchase, then rhythmically strokes over her nipple in apology, and she moans her relief. The shelves on either side of them hit the wall with a consistent thump, thump, thump as he thrusts up into her, fucks her, their harsh pants mingling in the small space between their parted lips. Chloe claws at Lucifer’s shoulders and back, hands scrambling for something to hold onto. Even through the two layers of fabric, she can feel his warmth and muscles, and a sudden urge bubbles up within her. With desperate fingers, she starts undoing the buttons on his shirt, but it takes too long—she needs him—so she rips open both shirt and waistcoat and frantically pushes them off his shoulders. He pins her against the wall with a hard thrust, letting go of her thigh and breast to shake the material onto the floor, and Chloe scratches at his finally bare back and shoulders, nails digging into slick, freckled flesh. She arches back into the wall and bares her neck for him to nip and kiss.

‘Fuck, Lucifer!’ she whines. ‘Oh, God, baby, fuckyes!’

He growls at the sound of her noises and bites her ear.

‘J’adore baiser avec toi.’ One hand slides down to her ass, holding her and pushing her dress higher up as the other bites into the now bare skin at her waist. The sharp touch sends a jolt down to her throbbing clit, making her clench tighter around him. ‘J’adore ton corps. T’es vraiment une déesse.’ The last word is a groan against her lips as he kisses her.

It’s wet, messy, and so delicious they both grasp tightly onto each other’s mouths with lips, tongues and teeth, neither of them wanting to ever let go.

‘Je veux t’embrasser,’ Lucifer pants when they break apart for a second, his gaze fixed on her mouth as their lungs fight for air. His dark eyes soften when they look into hers. ‘Chaque jour de ma vie,’ he adds reverently as he leans in. ‘Pour toujours.’ And then he kisses her again, like he wants it to last for all eternity.

His thrusts turn slower and deeper as they kiss, harder, until kissing becomes panting into each other’s mouths and Chloe’s head falls back in sheer pleasure. He tightens his grip on her ass and runs the hand on her waist up her side, brushing his thumb over her nipple as he passes her breast, up her neck, and cups the side of her face. She lets their eyes meet, and the way he’s looking at her, with absolute awe and gratitude, makes her heart flutter and her hips buck against his bare stomach. Her hands slide from where they’ve been clutching his mess of a hair to his back, trailing down to where he’s most sensitive. She places her palms on either side of his spine and presses lightly, carefully.

‘Tu me-’ he cuts off with a gasp when her nails skim over his hidden wings, ‘Tu me rends- fucking hell, Chloe.’

She keens at the guttural sound of her name. He leans his forehead against hers with a grunt, the slight change in angle making his rhythm falter, one hand slamming against the wall next to her. She watches the rest of his control slip through glazed eyes. She did this to him. She rendered God himself lost to his own bliss. That knowledge itself is nearly enough to push her over the edge.

‘Close,’ she breathes.

He grabs both her thighs with strong hands and presses her flush up against the wall, going impossibly deeper inside her. She hisses through her teeth and sputters all kinds of incoherent, unholy prayers into the sweltering air between them. Every hard thrust pushes her closer to ecstasy.

‘You make me so happy,’ Lucifer whispers, sounding so wrecked and raw her eyes clench shut. ‘I want- I hope- fuck- I hope I make you, nnf, just as happy.’

‘You do, baby. You make me so- so-’

Heat floods her veins as she comes, the sweet tension snapping all at once. She cries out, arches her back, and moans long and low as he continues to fuck her through it. His thrusts are quick and inelegant, his arms and thighs trembling, and she knows he’s close. She intentionally clenches around him, whispers his name, and then he too is tumbling over the edge, the only type of falling she ever wants him to feel again.

They smile at each other as they try to catch their breaths, sweaty foreheads still pressed together.

‘I love you,’ he says. ‘So much.’

She hums with happiness, her heart pleasantly aching at the sound of the words he couldn’t say the last time they were here.

‘I love you too, babe.’ She reaches up to lazily nuzzle the hairs at the nape of his neck, still smiling.

‘Maybe you even like me?’

She lets out a breathy chuckle and slides down the wall to land on her bare feet. Her legs are… wobbly, to say the least. Lucifer smirks at her.

‘We’ll see about that.’ She smoothes out her dress as he tucks himself back into his pants and fastens his belt. ‘If anyone ever finds out about this, your chances are pretty bad, buddy.’

She collects his clothes from the floor and helps him into his shirt. Two buttons are missing, lost to the force of her hasty ripping. It gives her an odd sense of satisfaction, the fact that the shirt he wore when they first kissed—the shirt she dreamt of tearing off his body—now is marked by their little escapade. (At least until he gets his tailor to fix it.)

‘Well, I’ll just have to keep trying to convince you then, won’t I?’ He licks his lips and lifts his eyebrows as he offers her a hand to help her up from the floor once she’s put her shoes back on. Chloe bites her cheek so as to not smile at his suggestion and intertwines their fingers.

‘You can start by helping me assemble that new shelf system tomorrow,’ she tells him, waiting for him to groan in response, or mumble something about hiring some people to do it for them. But he doesn’t. He just opens the door for her and lets her go first with a soft smile on his still flushed face.

‘Anything for you, my love.’

The door shuts with a gentle click behind them.

#writing #deckerstar fanfiction #deckerstar #chloe decker #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #lucifer on netflix #fluff #smut #established deckerstar #lucifer is god #post 5b #post s5 #two part drabble game

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thegeminisage · 3 years

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what do you think are some of the biggest pieces of evidence for cas being ace? i've watched so much of the show in the past month that it all blurs together, lol, so i can't remember many specific scenes. i do remember "i'm utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (though that wasn't about his own orientation) and cas' discomfort at idea of sleeping with women at the bordello in 5.03... anything else you can think of? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts!

rubs my hands together okay a List yeah i can do a list

wait actually first i wanna say that the biggest reason is because i’m asexual and i said so 0:) like i know that sounds a joke and it is a little bit but SERIOUSLY it’s just a general Aura or what the fuck ever about people. you know how sometimes a friend group formed in teenage years will one by one realize they’re all queers and they just grouped together organically? ace people are like that too. many of my closest friends have been aspec and i didnt even know that when i met them, THEY didn’t even know. but like if you asked me to list the ten people i was closest to over my life the huge majority would be aspec like me. we find each other In The Wild. so when i say he’s ace because i said so like i’m saying I’m Ace And I Can See Him. He Is Ace Because I Said So. my ace-dar is EXCELLENT

okay anyway with that out of the way here’s your actual list. obviously much of this can be a point in favor of many different readings of cas (and i’m not saying those can’t be true at the same time as ace cas!), but i’m ace and he’s ace and that’s what this post is about so i’m focusing on the ace parts. thank you.

list of ace cas evidence:

in general cas has a lot of trouble connecting with humanity at first which is an ENORMOUS ace mood

when dean cracks in the 4.01 deleted scene “yeah i have that problem with women” (after cas talks about the difficult in finding a vessel that can contain him) cas absolutely does not get that joke. we were having ace cas moments right from the get-go

it’s shown as early as 4.02 that cas doesn’t understand personal space. this is him not getting one single thing about human intimacy works and that he’s overstepping a boundary. it’s not just that he’s an angel (though that’s some of it) he just doesn’t intuitively understand physical stuff like that

that dean/anna kiss in 4.10. LOOK AT HIS FACE. that’s a face that says “i had no idea this is how humans were intimate with each other” and also “do i want to try that?” answer: maybe. dean’s very pretty. but something about it just feels like he’s going “whoa i never even CONSIDERED that” - like that to be sexy with the humans he’s into just didn’t occur to him

i know you said so already but WOW 5.03 brothel scene. THEEE ace cas moment

i’d also like to take a moment to tip my hat to 5.04. almost every aspec will have had a period of frustration and self-loathing where they thought at least once about maybe just having sex they weren’t into as a way to be “fixed” or to prove something. when aspecs are at their lowest and most broken, they are having sex they do not want to have. and when cas is at his lowest and most broken (in 5.04 AND 9.03, thank you), what is he doing? having sex! it’s just Interesting to me that the only times cas fucks is when he’s literally in the absolute worst points in his entire life

also, i’m getting out of order here, but that thing in 9.03 was absolutely rape. the way he talked about it after was THEEE most comphet bullshit i’ve ever seen. “that was nice.” “she was...sooo hot.” dean winchester can’t fool me and neither can cas thee tiel.

i know everyone was uncomfortable with the cherub in 5.14 but cas was SUPER uncomfortable. “no one likes it” yeah that’s cause he’s not a big touchy-feely dude

i actually really hate that porn scene in 6.10, but it is a classic “i don’t get it” moment + a side of “monkey see monkey do” later when he decides to mimic it and kiss meg. she started it - he’s just going “oh yeah i remember watching that on TV - like this, right?” he’s pleased with himself for correctly mastering a form of human interaction, he’s not, like, horny.

didn’t get the erectile dysfunction joke in 6.19

obviously, godstiel’s utter indifference to sexual orientation

strongly implied to be in a chaste marriage with his “wife” daphne when he was an amesniac

being repeatedly lobotomized in season 8 is its own can of worms. they were trying to make him straight. alas, it cannot be done

meg propositions him in season 8 and it takes him a bit to catch on. i don’t think accepting means he’s not ace, just that he’s interested in stuff humans do. would have been nice for his first time not to be with a psycho reaper who got him to trade his virginity for a pb&j :/

cas seemed REALLY nervous at the prospect of the date in 9.06, almost like it was something he had to steel himself to do - yet another weird part of human life he was resigning himself to, especially after metatron told him “go find a wife and have some babies” when his grace was taken

cas in season 10 is UTTERLY oblivious to hannah’s advances, even the ones that include nudity (and his own nudity at one point lol), and when he finally catches on he lets her down in the most awkward way possible

in season 11 he says he’s gonna take dean’s temperature and doesn’t see how that’s weird lol

he never got to truly speak to dean about his weird “””attraction””” to amara but i like to think he would have been equally confused

in season 12 in the hotel room where an orgy had clearly just taken place dean snickers and picks up the panties but cas is totally oblivious

ALSO completely oblivious when the waitress hits on him in season 12

this is a little bit of a stretch, but despite being named as jack’s “real” father, his relationship with kelly, his ostensible baby mama by proxy, seemed INCREDIBLY platonic to me. like they were such good buds! but he never had any of that romantic chemistry with her - there were no lingering notes or touches or whatever. he just wasn’t interested in that same way.

exasperated with gabriel and talking about porn stars in season 13 lol

canonically, castiel spent seasons 4-?? falling in love with dean, but he never made a move on him physically - yeah yeah the CW is homophobic but i like to think that most of castiel’s Urges where dean is involved are not in fact of a sexual nature. he wants to be close to him and important to him more than he wants to fuck him. you can long for someone in the ace way without longing for them sexually yk

this is part of why i actually really liked the 15.18 confession - the happiness was in the being, or whatever. he was already WITH dean in almost every way that mattered (i wrote a fic about this). they shared secrets, they shared burdens, they lived together, they fought and worked together, they even raised a fucking kid together! cas was convinced he couldn’t have more than that but also he didn’t really NEED much more than that and thinking about how he had been with dean all along was what made him happy enough to literally die. yeah there’s a version of that scene where the reciprocation was enough to do it but they accidentally hacked it into an ace love scene so i will TAKE it

this concludes my list! i bet it’s a lot longer than u were expecting

[spn masterpost]

edit: a few updates

#liz answers asks #anonymous #liz watches spn #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #ace cas #long post #i'm sure there are more examples from s15 that i just...forgot...bc i only watched it once #and i can't bring myself to do it again lol

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cult-of-artemis-and-athena · 3 years

Text

What the fuck is "femininity", anyway? Pt. 2

I was watching a video a few months ago about Evangelical Christians complaining about what they perceived as androgyny - women wearing pants and not having long hair, men not going fishing or wearing beards - and then said something to the effect of "These people are straying from God's design!"

I suppose the Bible does have some parts that can be construed as saying that women should have long hair, men should have short hair, and they should both look different and do different things. However, wearing certain clothes or hairstyles, or doing the majority of tasks don't have a biological component. If men were naturally, biologically, by-God supposed to have short hair, it should grow to be an inch long and stop, right? I've seen some Christians rebut the "only men can wear pants" argument on the basis that the stereotypical Christian man wouldn't like, nor properly fit into a pair of women's pants. I would take that a step further, because I think it's hilarious, and say that if women wearing pants were a 100%, by-God biological impossibility, they would have one leg, or be like nagas or mermaids and it would be physically impossible to make pants for them.

Another example: musical instruments are assigned gender stereotypes for some fucking reason. A friend from middle school said she wanted to play the trumpet, but was given a clarinet because it was a "feminine" instrument. Conversely, I've seen boys who started school band on a flute or clarinet either switch instruments, or quit band altogether. Perhaps small hands make it easier to play the piccolo, and it's less annoying for a strong person to carry around a tuba, upright bass, or bari sax, but there's no reason for the player's genitals to enter the equation. During the 18th century, the acceptability of an instrument for women was based on whether the player had to spread their legs to play it. Pianos, violins/violas, and flutes were allowed, but a cello was indecent. I'm not sure, then, how harps became stereotyped as "feminine instruments" when they're both gigantic and require the player to straddle them...but here I am trying to make sense of nonsense again...

Finally - and this is the big one - there is the downright schizophrenic relationship some male communities have with female attractiveness and things women do, or have done to them, to change how they look in pictures and videos.

I feel I must preface the rest of this point with something: "men" and "women" are not hive minds, and it's important to not strawman half the population based on a conglomeration of the worst representatives you have experienced. If you go outside, in real life, and think about the couples you see, it becomes very obvious that the majority of men you will see are attracted to women who aren't skinny blondes with big boobs/asses and the majority of women you see are attracted to men who aren't 6-/7-figure earners. People who seem to express that they are totally alone and perpetually shit-on by a world of "Chads" and "Staceys" feels like the same type of mindset school kids have, where they obsess over not being included by the popular kids while they're befriended and included just fine by kids they actually have more in common with. It's not a healthy mindset to have, but excusable in school kids because kids are immature by nature and they mostly grow out of it; however, to be an adult and still think like this is a good sign to get help.

I'm talking primarily about the incel community and perhaps some of the groups that this mentality spills into.

A post was going around several years ago and I think the photos were taken from a clickbait which was taken from a makeup artist's portfolio. The MUA might actually have been Goar Avetisyan (https://www.goaronline.com/courses) but the before and after pictures resembled the ones on the link above -- one with absolutely no makeup or hair styling, and then the other with full glam, special occasion makeup and styled hair, a wig, extensions, etc. The way it was presented was "LOOK! HERE'S PROOF W*MEN AREN'T ACTUALLY HOT! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! THEY'RE LYING TO YOU! ILLUMINATI EXPOSED!!!!"

I can see why they're mad, because the dishonesty surrounding makeup, but especially photoshop, plastic surgery, posing, and airbrushing can get toxic. I'm old enough to remember the old-fashioned mindset where women were supposed to hide their "beauty secrets". Don't apply makeup in public, keep your roots touched up so nobody knows they're dyed, and if you have any treatments or surgery always deny having them. Wear your makeup to bed, then wake up early and fix it before your guy sees you.

I couldn't imagine how awful I would feel if I had Instagram or TikTok when I was growing up. I had enough moments of feeling frustrated because I didn't naturally look how other people looked, and I didn't realize that people in TV and movies were wearing makeup, that magazine ads were photoshopped, etc. Just being an extremely average-looking human being with no concept of basic grooming, comparing myself to other kids at school was hard enough without the rapist-run media adding another layer of bullshit.

When I realized the layers of lies, it was like...how long have I been wasting my time and money on this totally made-up problem? How much did I actually improve my life and happiness chasing it? Or, did it actually make me more miserable? How much could I have accomplished if I put the same amount of angst into a different pursuit -- instead of fixing my face, I could have been fixing my art...When it comes to pursuing an unattainable ideal, there is no end to the horror.

So, I suppose, when a group of men (...boys, whatever) realize that "hot women" are a spook, and the the ethereal creature they've been told by society to put on a pedestal is actually not far removed from them, and it shits and farts, it seems very reasonable to feel angry and like you've been taken for a ride by "the system". It can be easy to blame women for this, and hate them. And it's probably easy to get stuck here.

Instead of being perpetually angry, they have to mourn the death of this ethereal spook-woman, and move on with an acceptance of reality as it is. Women, too, have to kill and mourn the spook-woman as part of self-acceptance.

One positive evolution of the makeup fandom is that while the makeup has gotten more intense and elaborate, makeup tutorials have demystified makeup. When tutorials started to become popular, there was a lot of "Excuse my eye-circles, excuse my pimple, excuse my skin, excuse my hair, excuse my lighting, excuse my room, excuse my, excuse my, excuse, excuse, excexcexcexCEXEXEXEXEXEX- *boom*" and thankfully someone eventually came along ($10 says it was a drag queen) and said, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOBODY CARES," and eventually the makeup fandom became okay with letting a bare face be a bare face. You wear the makeup, you don't wear the makeup. It doesn't matter. It's just a hobby.

To refer back to my original point, the confusion of makeup (something culturally feminine) with biological femininity has really fucked up both men and women. Everyone is better off extracting the two from one another, and it seems like many people are in the process of doing that. It helps women hate themselves less, and it helps men humanize women and have better relationships.

However, the image of the spook-woman, "10/10 model" is so ingrained in some parts of the culture, as the apex of the vertex of femininity, that despite complaints about how makeup is a lie, discarding that in favor of just a healthy, bare-faced woman feels like embracing post-modernity and a slippery slope to embracing ugliness as beauty. I think the lack of exaggerated femininity that spook-woman makeup provides feels threatening because the woman's face looks more masculine in a purely relative sense. The exaggerated femininity of the spook-woman, as it is for the Evangelical Christians who follow strict gender roles, provides additional separation between the sexes which serves to reassure men who are A) preoccupied with their level of masculinity and B) hyper-aware of their standing toward the bottom of this hierarchy of masculinity. I think the entire hierarchy benefits from them being placated by more separation from women, because if the bottom whatever percent of men are too dissatisfied with their standing, they may start punching upwards or wanting to attack the hierarchy itself. The men at the top don't want that because of the benefits they receive for being at the top.

MGTOW and the incel movement really kicked off after Gamergate, and intensified with subsequent "waves" of feminism. The discontent men direct their frustration at women, but they also direct their frustration at the men not troubled by what women do. There's suddenly a lot of interest in whether you're an alpha, a beta, a gamma, omega, a sigma, a ligma male, etc. and which one is the better type of male to be. There's a lot of hatred for "Chads" and I see a lot of jealousy directed toward men who are married and have families, usually in the form of "She's just gonna divorce you, take half your shit, and then manipulate your kids to hate you. You'll see...you'll realize you should have spent your whole life banging whores."

This all seems like the result of the ol' spending money we don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like. This is undoubtedly the idealist in me, men and women would be better off to cut each other some slack. We could see one another as fellow tragic, flawed individuals instead of fleshlights and ATMs, escape the Matrix and spit in the faces of our rapist, media elite overlords.

#femininity #performative femininity #mgtow #mass media #makeup #spooks #traditional gender roles #women don't exist #gender roles are a spook #hollywood rapists #jordan peterson #stop putting women on pedestals

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