#i just don't know how well it'll go when he's not physically on screen

[fakeasmr]

John Wick is Shadow now, your thoughts?

Most confusing way you could have worded this but while I am excited because I like Keanu Reeves, I'm still conflicted by my usual stance of "hire voice actors to do voice acting" so... we'll see

#i know he's done voice roles before but those were very clearly 'we hired a big name actor to voice this character to sell tickets' roles #and I'm pretty sure his role in that video game was motion captured #i just don't know how well it'll go when he's not physically on screen #I'll still watch tho because shadow looks adorable like all the other sonic characters #and yeah yeah idris elba but let's be real his acting is awkward it just sells because knuckles is kind of awkward himself

[six-eyed-samurai]

XOXO, YOUR BIGGEST FAN

As per the results for my vote, here it is! But I never said it wasn't going to be angst~~~

Please leave a comment! It'll gimme motivation to score well in my exams swear UwU

I saw you and I just knew, one day you'd be my man. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna was once known for his suave talent on the screen, for the thefts of more than hundreds of drama fans’ hearts everywhere, for his signature shark grin and trademark tattoos.

Ryomen Sukuna was once known for his lead role in the fantasy series Malevolent Shrine, directed by his half brother Kamo Choso, together with the uprising star Gojo Satoru.

Ryomen Sukuna was once known for the tragedy that ruined his life forever and kidnapped him within its dark, depressive grasp to never let him go and completely vanish from the public eye.

I'd kill for you, over and over, I will and could and can. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna’s name was once known to cause crazed stampedes at any store, restaurant or mall he blessed with his presence, but now when he walked hunched and slumped into his stained sweatshirt barely anybody batted an eye at the man who was more dead than alive now.

Ryomen Sukuna's figure was formerly spotted immediately everywhere he went, especially with YOU, his dearest darling angel at his side, a magnet attracting eager, frenzied paparazzi and die hard fans. He couldn't have been more proud to show you in all your glory off to the crowd, to lay claim on you and just prove his undying love for you in front of everyone…once upon a time.

Ryomen Sukuna's expression of easy, lazy smirking from his acting days officially disappeared to be replaced by a face with an emptiness that rivaled the void and had completely forgotten any other emotion long before everyone saw the photo at his final interview on a subject he had no wish to talk about: you and your death.

I know she's hurting us, but don't worry, I've got a plan. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna whose answer to the Jujutsu Tech Weekly’s question of what he regretted most was turning down directors Jogo and Hanami’s offer to collaborate in a movie together, but really? He regretted ever convincing you to stop hiding your secret marriage and step into the limelight with him.

Ryomen Sukuna who can boast about his natural acting talent, charisma and success with all the proof in the world to back it up, but he would never say he was one for observance, not after he missed all the signs of an obsessive, insane stalker tailing after him and his precious, pretty wife.

Ryomen Sukuna who wonders what would've happened if he had just BOTHERED to reply and open the thousands of fan letters he used to get - would he have seen the letters his so-called number one fan had sent him, seen the signs of a despairing delusional madness that drove her to start hunting them both down from the shadows? Would he have paid more attention to the way doors seemed to always be unlocked when the both of you headed home, the missing personal items, the defaced pictures online of his wife?

As they all like to say, into the fire from out of the pan. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna's temper his frequent viewers, family and friends were more than familiar with that made itself known when he publicly threatened whoever was breaking and entering into your shared home with something more physical than lawsuits; but how was he to know she'd take it the wrong way and somehow convince herself that his wife was putting him up to it, to make his one and only out to be the villain of this imaginary love scenario between her and him, to declare herself his “saviour”?

Ryomen Sukuna's decision to move to a new, more private and secure manor by the coast was supposed to protect you from the strange unknown figure lurking outside the house and everywhere you went. Supposed to. Somehow they found out his new home address anyway, and the only one who knew it was Choso, who swore up and down he told nobody and nobody could have possibly known.

Ryomen Sukuna's management (namely, his irritated manager Kenjaku) who finally succumbed to his harsh insults and furious demands and investigated who's been following them around lately: the truth shocked everyone to the core (could it possibly EVEN be the truth?!) when Fushiguro Tsumiki was arrested.

She might bear your son but you and I will start a clan. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna ignored all the warning signs, the final letter with the ominous words of “I'll be the one to teach you love” and the Fushiguro’s protests of her innocence in favour of announcing the big news to the press and celebrating the new beginning in his and yours romance story, this time with a new addition to the family.

Ryomen Sukuna rarely slept before, preferring to stay up late memorising lines and terrorising the crew, but now was just operating on caffeine and quick naps in his worry during your pregnancy. Did he cry when baby Yuuji was born? Yes, and in his delight - although he pretended otherwise - he never noticed that one guest at every one of his conventions with an agitated expression and a hysterical, hateful grudge against you.

Ryomen Sukuna thought the business with his crazy fan stopped when he had his loyal Uraume taking care of his family on the rare occasions you didn't insist on coming to watch him work and hired a secretary to go through and filter all his letters, or maybe he was just preoccupied with watching Yuuji grow up and showering you with all the love his rough, rugged self could give…because he certainly didn't notice the new “security cameras” being set up at his house.

What a fatal mistake.

We'll be alone eventually, a couple and no longer a ban. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna who staggered back and nearly killed the messenger when he heard the news, who raged internally against whatever cruel god had decided to deal him this fate: you and Yuuji had somehow disappeared when driving back from the park and even though police searched high and low you both were nowhere to be found.

Ryomen Sukuna whose world shattered when the two most important people in the world to him were declared dead. Despite Choso’s frantic persuausion and attempted comforts he vowed to never return to the world of stardom, not after his celebrity status got you both killed. He disappeared into the sea of ordinary lives, all signs of vibrancy and life gone right down to his iconic pink hair; he dyed that black, black as his heart and as black as the sky the day his darling went away, the day the letter arrived.

Ryomen Sukuna who imagined the police might make your deaths more real and not so nightmarish when they found your body, but never this way - what sort of sick bitch would send him a parcel containing the severed fingers of you ans Yuuji with a heart signed “Always your girl, Yorozu.”

I'm yours, you're mine, your wife's gone, just say she ran. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna who now wanders the world, alive but alone, so ready to once love what he had had. A fate crueler than him has revealed itself, for they never did catch whoever had done the deed. The last time anyone had ever seen Sukuna at all was at the trial where Tsumiki was released.

Ryomen Sukuna who's played his fair share in horror movie of twisted endings and gruesome grief, but nobody ever told him real life was inspiration for the dark content. Everybody's long forgotten him as he slid into the role of background cameos but he never forgot how even with his fame and money he could never save you and Yuuji, much less avenge you both.

Ryomen Sukuna's half assed attempts at suicide never seemed to work out and he's nothing more than an angry shell of his former glory now. He even tore down both your photos in a fit of rage once; the man in the mirror wasn't him, surely?

They hunted in my basement but never searched my van. XOXO, your biggest fan.

Ryomen Sukuna who is now known for his infamous brutal homicide of one Fujiwara Yorozu with his bare, bloody hands who approached him at a shady bar and whispered she had done away with the devil, won't he ascend to Heaven with her now?

“FXXK YOU, I'D RATHER FALL TO HELL WITH HER THAN BE DRAGGED TO ‘HEAVEN’ BY THE LIKES OF YOU!”

#sukuna x you #sanzuyaps #jjk #x reader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #sukuna angst #angst no comfort #angst no happy ending #Itadori brothers #actor au #modern au

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE OVERHAUL HEADCANONS

He'd be attracted to people who don't have that 'sick disease' also known as a quirk. He'd want someone who's pure and clean and the minute he sees you and your quirkless form, he thinks you're an innocent naive helpless little darling that he NEEDS to protect since the pro heroes suck at doing their job

The idea of him keeping you locked away and isolating you from the rest of the world so you can rely ONLY on him for everything is really tempting and appealing to him (Sadistic prick)

If you had a really strong and useful quirk, he'd still be attracted to you though. Just, he'll make sure to get rid of it and rob you of it by stealing it so he won't have to see you 'suffer'. And THEN, he might lock you up and leave you in isolation 

If you're someone he decided to protect from everyone else, oh man... I PRAY for ya. He'll try befriending you and worming his way into you life and pretty soon, he'll ask you to come live with him. You agree but when you start rebelling against him, you'll be restricted from using your favorite things and lose your freedom

He thinks that he'd doing everything for the sake of your 'best interests' and to be honest, he knows more about you than anyone, even YOURSELF, considering the amount of time he spent stalking you and asking his men to keep an eye on you. He's like a doctor, but a really creepy and short tempered one. He'll give you regular checkups so expect constant fussing by him over you since he thinks proper health, nutrition and hygiene are a TOP priority 

If you're behaving well, you'll get all sorts of things you want but you'll have to EARN them by gaining his trust and behave good around him since there's only so much fun one can have when they sit and stare at a wall for 24 hours everyday 

The WORST thing this sicko might do is try convincing you in his sick and twisted way that he's NOT treating you bad. And after a while, you'll fall into his trap and web of lies and you'll start believing him and start feeling guilty if you misbehave around him. Damn does this dude know how to pull out an UNO Manipulation card 

Punishments are simple if you try escaping or behaving badly. If you yell and scream at him and throw insults at him, he'll just ban you from using your favorite things and it'll be a really LOOONNGGG time after you get them back. You won't be getting them back till you apologize and admit that you were in the wrong. If you manage to hit him or kick him, you'll be denied of his attention for a while even after you cry out an apology

He isn't going to punish you physically but his punishments can take a really HUGE toll on your mental health and state of mind and so.... like I said, for the sake of your sanity just don't argue with Bird Face and agree to everything he says 

If you manage to attack him with a weapon (One, HOW TF did you manage to do THAT!? And 2, that's actually way cool Hehehe.... okay, I sound like an evil twin of Sangwoo,imma stop nowTvT) , you'll be isolated in a room with white walls and he'll only come by to give you your meals and THAT'S IT. No screen time, no favorite things, nothing. He'll isolate you till you're practically BEGGING him for forgiveness 

This dude ain't a Romeo so don't expect him to be all lovey-dovey with you. But occasionally when he feels like it, he might hold you and hug you from time to time and say how glad he is to have found you, his little pure angel to care for and protect. Who KNOWS what would have happened to you by now if you didn't come under his care?

He'll let you roam around the backyard ONLY (Not without you having at least a dozen of heavily armed bodyguards keeping a close eye on you) and if you still complain, he's gonna make sure you're grateful for letting you at least step out of the house 

He'll let you look after Eri and Eri just ADORES you. She sees you as a parental figure and I won't be surprised if she develops platonic yandere tendencies and feelings towards you. She'll be sad and pouting when you won't focus your attention and honestly, WHO can resist her CUTE adorable little face? I sure as heck can't....

So... Mr Bird Mask is really SCARY yandere who can haunt you in your dreams and become your WORST nightmare unless you abide by his rules and laws. And THAT children, is today's moral of the story UvU

"Angel.... I'm doing this for YOU now it's time for your daily checkup. Don't be a brat, I only want what's best for you~"

#yandere bnha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere kai chisaki #yandere kai chisaki scenarios #yandere kai chisaku headcanons #yandere kai chisaki oneshots #yandere kai chisaki imagines #yandere kai chisaki x reader #yandere overhaul #yandere overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul scenarios #yandere overhaul oneshots #yandere overhaul headcanons #yandere overhaul imagines #yandere overhaul x reader imagines

[password-door-lock]

“Don't you ever get tired, boss?” You ask, peering over Unknown's shoulder at his screen.

He turns around to scowl at you. Yes, of course he gets fucking tired. That's by no means something he's proud of, and it's by no means something he wants to hear you prattling on about. Unknown has discovered that he likes having you around— it's nice to have someone to talk to, and even better that you're usually able to entertain him, at least to some degree— but he could do without the constant questions. You always want to know what he's working on (which is classified), what you can do to help (nothing whatsoever, unless you're sitting on a bunch of useful skills that have somehow managed to escape Unknown’s notice thus far), and, worst of all, how he's feeling (which is none of your goddamn business, actually). Unknown has no interest in anything even remotely resembling a conversation about emotions with you, let alone one about his physical state. 

“Hm,” he says eventually, not caring how you interpret the sound. It's none of his business how you interpret things, at least as long as you're keeping those interpretations to yourself and staying out of trouble.

“Then you should sleep,” you suggest, “I'm sure that it'll help you work better.”

“Oh, is that so?” Unknown hums, still not looking up from his screen— truth be told, he's barely listening to you. He couldn't care less what you think about his methods, though that certainly doesn't stop you from peppering him with moral qualms and concerns about his health under these working conditions— as if Unknown has any control over that, anyway. Why do you want to make him feel so powerless? Can't you just stay securely under his thumb and let him go about his business? 

“Yeah,” you reply, “It is. If you're tired, you should sleep. That’s kind of, like, basic knowledge 101, you know?”

“I can't sleep, prince(ss),” Unknown grits out. He’s annoyed that this is even a discussion. 

“Oh, you mean you can’t fall asleep?” You ask, probably trying to be helpful. Normally, Unknown wouldn't give a shit about anybody's intentions but his own or his Savior's... however, lately, he's begun to pick up on the fact that people can mean very well while somehow managing to remain insufferably annoying. He wouldn't have thought that this combination was possible until he met you— you should be proud of yourself, Unknown supposes, though not too proud— that would be a bit much. “Then that might be because of all the monitors. Maybe you’d be able to rest better if you turned a couple of them off.” 

“No,” he growls before you can give him another useless suggestion. Just because Unknown understands your motivations doesn't mean he's going to entertain any more nonsense from you. After all, he's your boss, not your friend— and honestly, boss isn't the term he originally would have selected, but it would be too much of a hassle to change anything now that you seem married to the idea. “I can't sleep unless that redhead sleeps, get it? He’ll attack and undo all my progress while I’m wasting time in dreamland.” And if that redhead is sleeping, then Unknown isn't going to sleep, either, because it'll give him an opportunity to get a leg up. If he rests only when his exhaustible body forces him to do so, then eventually, he’ll arrive at his revenge. 

“Well, if you're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping,” you declare, “And if you think I'm annoying now, you're just gonna love me when I'm sleep deprived.”

Unknown rolls his eyes at your sheer audacity. “Aw, do you think you're being clever?” He coos. “You can't control me that easily, assistant.” Lately, Unknown has gotten into the habit of calling you by your title as if it were a pet name of some kind. He likes the reaction that it gets from you, though he doesn’t understand it— if you’re so proud to be his assistant, then why do you constantly question him? Can’t you just leave well enough alone? 

“I’m just showing you how ridiculous and stubborn you’re being, boss. What are you gonna do about it?” You ask.

You’re challenging him, trusting that he’ll humor you as you test him in a vain attempt to prove a really useless point. Unknown isn’t sure why you couldn’t have applied this determination to chatting with the RFA, or at least going into that apartment. Maybe you would have been happier there, with people who would accept and embrace your affection and concern. But there’s no point in thinking about that now— you’re stuck with Unknown, and for all intents and purposes, he is equally stuck with you. 

Unknown just rolls his eyes at you again. Honestly, maybe he is starting to get tired, if you've managed to get under his skin so easily— but it doesn't matter whether he's tired or not. Unknown will get his work done regardless of his physical condition, and you should get that through your head as soon as possible. “You're gonna go lay down on the couch and shut your mouth,” he intones, “Or else I'll send you to your room, and you can stay there alone. How does that sound, cutie?”

Even if you insist on staying awake to prove some useless point to him, eventually, you’ll drift off if you’re laying there not doing anything. That way, Unknown won’t have to worry about you while he’s working— of course, he isn’t at all concerned with your well being, he reminds himself. He just doesn’t want to have to waste time thinking about what kind of trouble you might be causing behind the scenes. 

“Wow, so cruel,” you pretend to lament with a pouting expression as you throw yourself onto the couch. You’re just joking, of course— you don’t actually think that about him. If you did, you wouldn't be able to say it so flippantly. You’re convinced that he’s a good person somewhere deep down, but Unknown might very well be cruel— no, scratch that. He knows for a fact that he's a bad guy to his core, a monster in every sense of the word. Unknown is by no means a nice person, but he knows how to get what he wants. That’s got to count for something, right? “But just promise me you’ll rest eventually, okay?” Your concern is evident in your voice, even if you try to hide it behind that playful tone. 

“Mhm. Maybe I’ll be able to rest when my assistant isn’t causing me so many problems,” he hums. It’s best to just humor you, to keep you from wasting time worrying when you could be helping Unknown with his revenge. Besides, he’s not even really lying— he’ll have to sleep eventually. No matter how many times he pushes his body to its limits, it never seems to get any stronger or better at staying awake when he needs it to.  “But if you want to stay with me, then you should start being quiet now.”

You don't respond, and for his part, Unknown counts it as a win.

#I've been thinking a lot lately about Unknown's relationship with rest #And how profoundly difficult it would be to convince him to take care of himself at all #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi #unknown mystic messenger

[pricegouge]

Fatted Rabbit, Part Six

Bearshifter!Price AU

Rated M for later chapters

Part one

Simon stands behind the bar like some sort of massive, brooding Aeacus. As if they were always bound to meet here, and John was always bound to spill his secrets, and wasn't John such a stupid little twat for not having ever realized that before?

It speaks volumes that not even Simon's shit eating grin puts a damper on John's mood.

"You're relieved, Riley."

"I'll say. Didn't even need to have a talk with 'er about curfews."

"Well, I know how you worry. It went well, by the way."

"Didn't ask. How'd you manage not to muck it up?"

"I got this excellent relationship coach that gave me some great ideas."

"You keep adding to my workload and I'm unionizing."

"Yeah?" John laughs, "You and who?"

"That new barkeep seems easily impressionable."

"Mm. That what got your stamp of approval?"

Oh, it's always a good day when John can pry a real reaction from his head brewer. Simon doesn't squint, but there's a tightening around his eyes that suggest he would do, if he suffered such banal things as 'automatic response disinhibition.'

"Am I gonna need to sit you down with the harassment video again, Riley?"

"Don't technically work at the bar, cap. One Four One pays my bills." He's aiming for a sarcastic 'so what if I am,' lands slightly off center.

"Good point. You been putting a lot of thought into it?"

The pause is a half a beat too long. "Too busy thinkin' about having to cover my boss's shifts while 'e flits about with some young bird like 'e's in uni again."

"Aye. Gonna need you to do it again on Sunday, too."

"Sunday?" Simon barks. "You're training on Sunday."

"No, you're training on Sunday. By the time I get here he'll probably be good to go."

Now he does squint. "And if I got plans?"

"You'd've mentioned them first. Thanks, Si. I owe you one."

"You owe me the business at this point."

"Already in my will and testament."

"Mm. Keep trying your luck and I'll take what's owed sooner'n later."

***

Simon stays on to cook, a blessing considering it ends up being a decent Friday turnout. The early spring seems to be pulling in more than just the locals. John resolutely does not put on the hockey match he knows his rabbit's interested in because he doesn't want to listen to Simon's opinion on that, but he does watch the ticker tape at the bottom of the basketball commentary to monitor the score when he can. He's not sure why; he can't exactly participate in any informed conversation on the subject, but it seems like it'll be a good anecdote to know when they're skating.

Fuck, skating. He'd been a few times in his life and it had all been perfectly fine, but he usually sleeps right through the season so it's not something he's practiced in a while. He doesn't want to make an ass of himself, even if the rabbit had the same concerns. It's embarrassing enough being as twiggy as he is currently, he couldn't stand to be uncoordinated or in any way less physical in her eyes. He remembers how raptly she'd watched that match, the ways her eyes had tracked the men on screen. He hadn't found it in any way threatening at the time, but he doesn't want to be compared negatively to them. The fact that they're professional doesn't matter, of course, at least not to the beast in his chest.

John shoots her a sympathetic text when the team she'd been following loses (again. He's going to have to figure out how playoffs work here, the basketball announcers are even talking about multiple games) but he doesn't get a response until quite late, when he's on the roof enjoying a cigar after closing.

Christ, another game?

John damn near preens

He'd rather buy her those panels but he doesn't think she'd let him. More than that he'd rather drive her car into Whitefish Lake, but he supposes she'd be a little cross about that, too.

John nearly bites through his cigar. It's an honest struggle to force his bear back under his skin, the animal not fully understanding that such a challenge could be issued through miles of suburban landscape and a thirty foot drop off a roof. Much as he wants her here (on her knees between his thighs, mouth hot and wet through the fabric of his trousers as he shoves a boot under her cunt, preferably), it's probably a good thing she isn't because he doesn't want her on all fours their first time, his jaws clamped on the nape of her neck as he leans his full weight on her, trapping her big soft body between the mass of himself and the cold hard ground, uncaring if the whole city heard her whining, or screaming, or begging, or moaning. He wants to see her face as he fucks her, learn what she likes or doesn't. He wants to eat her out as if she's the only food he'll need for winter - until she's crying about how she has nothing left to give and then he wants to lick her tears up, too.

But right now the only thing he wants from her is her round arse presented in apology, the feel of her flesh between his teeth.

It's a struggle to be witty when your body is trying to prime you for both a fight and a fuck at the same time and your circulatory system feels like the Magic Roundabout, so John doesn't bother.

And that's -. Fuckin' -.

Just like that, she's got him back to heel. More pup than predator, eager to beg for treats from her hands. A brat he can handle; even his bear seems greedy at the prospect. If her challenges aren't in earnest - if she's simply trying to get a rise out of him because she wants him to fuck her hard, he's more than happy to allow it. Happy to let his bear take over and give her what she wants.

Fuck, he's hard. A green cub, can't even distinguish rational thought and animalistic impulses. No, she's not asking for an actual bear in human skin to take her to task, Christ. He needs circulation back to his brain STAT. And to think this all started with a Viagra joke.

***

Saturday is a lesson in patience. He feels unmoored, confused. A bit like standing in a cold stream waiting for the salmon run to leap into his mouth, weeks before they're due to arrive. There is so much to do. His rut looms in the distance like a sundog: a beautiful, bad omen. He should be preparing. Securing his mate, improving his den, padding his own body, ensuring she's equipped to carry both herself and his cubs through the winter.

Instead he's lying to QuickBooks about where his head brewer worked this week and hosing off beer mats, listening to some old coot veer dangerously close to homophobic remarks about the lesbian couple who own the boot shop across the way. It sets John's teeth on edge, makes him snappy. He spills the man's third beer across his lap as he hands it off and gets even more irritated when it only garners benevolent absolution. He wants a fight. Wants a fuck even more. Is turning in circles knowing he won't get either any time soon. Simon doesn't stop by, doesn't offer himself as a verbal, pricker-covered punching bag. The rabbit never texts. John would give his left eye to eat a porcupine right now, feel the satisfaction of the kill and the anger of his prey, both.

He closes shop early, finds his way to the edge of town. He hardly even bothers to hide his clothes in a sparse, budding green thicket before he's on all fours, lumbering off into the woods. Her scent has been growing stronger for him. In his human form, he can usually smell her from across town but like this, snout high in the air as he sifts through the noxious scent of the other humans in town, he can track her clear up to Lake McDonald. It's soothing, usually: the sweetness of the simple foods she eats, the saltiness of her skin. Her cunt. But it's sour tonight, distressed and distressing. He sets off in a blind panic.

He's nearing the Flathead when it hits him properly and he slows, relief and understanding washing over him. Poor rabbit, she's nearing her monthlies. He can smell it now, the stink of her discomfort and the impending blood. No wonder he was so off kilter all day. It speaks to the quality of their bond that he can already sense these things. Means when his rut comes around, she'll likely be impacted too, which sets his mouth watering. Although -.

If their bond was really that strong, she wouldn't be menstruating. Waste of bloody resources. A stupid fucking design flaw he could cure her of.

With a proper bond or a cub, whichever came first.

She's not parked in a proper camp tonight, just tucked away on a four wheel path safe from the main road. He considers not disturbing her for all of thirty seconds before he starts chuffing and sniffing like a hog around her wheel wells. He hears her shuffling about and then her little curtain moves and she beams at him.

"That you, big guy?"

John lowers at her and she pulls her screen down properly to get a better look. He doesn't raise himself half onto her roof this time, just remains on all fours and lifts his head enough to peer back at her.

"You know, we have to stop meeting like this. People will talk." For once, John doesn't think he'd mind. As if to test that theory, she shuffles around a bit and John sees her pull her phone out of the center console to power it up. She was supposed to get battery back ups today. Part of the reason he was so irritable; he'd wanted to speak with her. But if even he was feeling so completely out of it, he can't imagine she cared very much about a trip to the store herself. He waits patiently for her phone to power up. She keeps an eye on him, but he just continues to puff foggy breaths onto her window, unbothered. Eventually she tells him to say cheese and he makes a soft noise at her that makes her grin.

"I never knew bears could moo," she teases and John sneezes at her in annoyance which only makes her giggle. Christ, an honest giggle. She's so fucking cute he could squeeze her til she popped.

"I think that's my favorite noise you make. Though the huffs are pretty cute too." So John does it again, just to show off. "Yeah, that one! Gonna have to do some studying, figure out what those all mean. Just suppose I'm lucky you haven't roared at me yet."

Don't worry bunny, he'd never.

She putz around on her phone and John wonders how many people she's sending the picture to. He's being careless, he knows, but it's worth it to see her - to ensure she's thinking of him, even if she doesn't know it. She holds her stomach absently as she types and after a few moments her face scrunches and she winces, curling in on herself a bit more. When it passes, she eyes him with mock suspicion. "That why you're here, big guy? The bears can smell the menstruation!" That last bit is said in an affected voice, probably a reference to something he's too British to understand. "Thought that was a myth?"

It is, clever rabbit. For all but you.

She hasn't actually started yet, he doesn't think. Poor lamb will likely start right as they're due to meet at the rink. He wonders if she'll cancel. He's already making contingency plans, wondering if she'll let him take care of her or if she'll make excuses and leave him to figure out how to both pretend he doesn't know what's really going on and also make it clear she's allowed to ask him for help with it.

"Well, periods are a curse enough as it is. It's not fair that god sends his cuddliest looking creatures out to kill us, too. You look like an industrial size heating pad and the world's biggest spoon all rolled up in the fuzziest weighted blanket imaginable. You're a frickin' cure all come to kill me. Tease!"

Oh, he's the luckiest man to ever walk the earth. She's so perfect, already warmed up to his bear, no coaxing required. Soon, honey. You can cuddle up to his beast anytime you want. He can't help the constant chuffing noises her spiel has earned; or the way he presses against her car as if he can transfer some of his heat through the metal. He'd been struggling to keep his impulses in check all day, but in this form it's even harder. He's split between the elation of her accepting this form and the frustration that she won't let him help her. He wants to turn back right here, let her see, ferret her out of her den and let her use his body to cure her ails in whatever way she sees fit.

"You're so cute though, I guess I can forgive you," she continues, and it's a struggle to keep his grunting noises in check enough that he can still hear her. "You know, I told my friend about you. He said the bears around here can be pretty well socialized because it's such a high traffic area. You got other girls you're seeing on the side?"

Never, bunny, he snorts, never again.

"I promise I won't be offended. We can keep it casual." She puts on an overly breezy air, being silly. "I mean like, cause they're not like feeding or petting you either, right? Like, you're not… getting that from any girl at all, right?" A beat. John tries to play along by looking as contrite as a bear possibly can. "You whore!" she gasps, "Who is she?"

His response is to stand and lean against her car, ducking his head to nod at her.

"Mmm, nice recover. You know if you really wanted to make it up to me, you'd stop scraping my paint." Admonished, Price lowers himself back to the ground. The rabbit eyes him suspiciously. "I swear, sometimes it feels like you can understand me. Are you a circus escapee? Do you know any tricks?" She pauses, as if waiting. "Can you speak?"

Fuck it, John gives her a halfhearted, rumbling roar.

She laughs, delighted. "How about lay down? You know that one?"

And that sounds like a great idea so he does, makes himself comfortable with his belly on the muddy trail.

"What about roll over?" She asks, voice soft with apprehension; unfortunately, twice is a coincidence but three times is a pattern. John ignores her command in favor of chewing at the pads of his forepaw and after a moment, the rabbit breathes out a heavy, chuckling sigh.

"Might be going a bit batty, spending all my time alone," she mutters. Louder, she tells him, "I think you've got the right idea about getting comfy, though. I'm turning in. You staying there? You'd make some guard dog."

John just rolls his eyes to her and huffs.

"Right. Well, goodnight. Please be gone when I wake up so I can pee without fear." He snorts at her and she chuckles in response, shifting her weight around the car enough to make it rock a bit. She doesn't put her privacy screen back up, he notes with some frustration. He'll have to stay until the early hours just to be sure she's safe, but he doesn't mind. He's been tempted to spend every night exactly like this since he first spotted her rubbing herself raw in the early spring dawn. He's just happy to know she doesn't seem too freaked out by his presence.

***

Sunrise finds him fishing his damp clothes out of the bush he'd hastily tucked them into the night previous. They make for an unpleasant trip back, but he's warmed by a missed text from his bunny: a picture of himself captioned 'Think I made a new friend'.

She'd been asleep when he'd left her but even still, John cannot help replying right then and there.

***

John is leaning against his passenger door when he spots her big Wrangler pulling in and he makes his way to her with enough time to offer a hand as she slides out of the car. He maybe stands a bit too close, appreciating the way her thick, soft thighs rub briefly against his own as he helps guide her gracefully to the ground.

She's got on leggings and tall socks with converse and a thin henley under a worn denim jacket. She's so cute he wants to throw her in the back of her Jeep right then and give the suspension a run for its money. Compounding his dilemma is the strong scent of her monthlies evident through the thin material of her trousers. It's weak enough he doubts anyone else will notice, but the scent of the iron rich blood has his teeth itching.

Plus it's upsetting to be slapped in the face with such strong evidence that their bond isn't fully formed.

Despite his turmoil, John smiles at her warmly and kisses her on the cheek in greeting, making her blush.

"Good to see that bear didn't make off with you. Not sure I could win that particular fight."

She laughs as they make their way inside, "I don't know, he seems more of a lover than a fighter. You could probably win him over with some berries or something."

"So then I'd have to share both you and my food? I gotta run this bloke out of town." John can feel the rabbit eyeing him suspiciously, weighing the quality of his words. He, of course, doesn't flinch; simply holds the door open and guides her through with a palm on her lower back.

He's hoping she'll tell him he doesn't need to worry about sharing her, but it seems that's a bit much to expect from a casual second date. She motions to the door he's held for her instead. "See? And here you were worried about not being a gentleman."

John's laugh is a mean, hot puff of breath. "There's still time," he warns, standing too close.

He helps her into her cute little skates, lets her use his body to keep herself upright as they stand in the carpeted hallway waiting on the zamboni to finish up. He's maybe a little swept up in the domesticity of it, surrounded as they are by other couples and families with small kids. 'Stanley Cup hopefuls,' the rabbit calls them, and John nearly goes weak in the knees imagining her bringing his cubs back here one day, decked out in her team's colors. He stands too close but she doesn't seem to mind; and when he kisses her on the crown of her head and keeps his lips there, she just leans a little more into him and he sighs in contentment. And when the doors finally open, he is treated to the absolute delight of watching his rabbit trying to figure out how to keep her feet under herself, laughing all the while.

The crowd is a mix of old hats just trying to stay limber; pesky children who rocket by, trying hard as they can to get under feet and trip people up; and landlubbin' newbies like them. It's good, sweet. Gives John an excuse to keep his hands on his rabbit, and seems to take her mind off her cramps, if the way her sweat turns from acrid with stress to good clean salt is anything to go by. It would be perfect, John decides, if not for a pair of twenty-something boys that linger, skating big ambling circles around John and his girl. They're casual, keep their eyes mostly to themselves, but John is already on edge and something about their presence makes him want to stand his ground.

Of course, he can't quite do that when the whole point of free skate appears to be 'skate in a circle'.

"Might've had it wrong, bunny," John grins as he gets his hand around her thick waist for the dozenth time, catching her just as her right foot goes slipping out in a direction she didn't authorize. "Think you're more of a Bambi than a thumper."

"With these thighs?" she jokes, slapping her quad for effect.

John doesn't bother to hide the hunger that elicits in him. He's about to give her a tiny little smack of his own when -,

"Nice catch, man. Way to take one for the team."

"Yeah, they'll have to bring the zamboni back out if she goes down."

John is distantly aware of his rabbit going stiff and quiet, her gaze drifting somewhere down by her feet. He keeps hold of her arm but it's more an instinctual comfort than a conscious decision, as all his higher brain function is dedicated to not growing fangs between which to trap these boys.

"They'll have to bring it back out if I use your teeth like an auger, too." John's voice is low. Possibly too low to be strictly human. It gets the point across anyway. The twiggy twats who have been circling like sharks all morning take one look at him and decide they have severely misread the depth of his feelings for the soft girl they've targeted. Finding no easy prey here, they mumble an apology (to John, the gits, not his rabbit) and dart off to pester a gaggle of teenage girls. John draws himself even closer to his girl, waits until he's certain he can control his voice better. "Fucking bellends. Sorry about them. You okay, honey?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Thanks for that. Sorry I clammed up, I can usually fight my own battles."

John scoffs, unamused. "No need, sweetheart. Unless you'd rather, of course. Actually, sorry if I overstepped. Knee jerk reaction."

"Oh, no, trust me, you're fine. Not mad at all." Her breath is soft, nearly amused, and John can't help but feel a little proud at having turned her mood around so quickly.

"Do you want to go do something else?"

"And let them know they bothered me? Absolutely not."

John grins, hums appreciatively. "That's my girl." His grin only widens when she blushes at the term.

They talk about their hometowns when they're not busy stumbling. John tells her about Hereford and his mom, and she tells him how similar this area is to where she grew up. She deflects a bit when asked about her family and John doesn't pry. He wishes she would tell him everything, of course, but can't help being a tiny bit selfishly pleased at the knowledge there's no tight knit family waiting for her back home. He tries asking about Dallas instead but the answers she provides are stiff and rehearsed, and her body language locks up so much it negates the small progress she's made in her skating abilities. John quickly moves on to film preferences and she's quick to loosen back up (she likes period dramas and high fantasy and isn't immune to a night in with a kid's movie).

Eventually her discomfort seems to catch up with her and John thinks he has the unique experience of realizing she will need to make a sanitary run to the bathroom before she does. He debates how best to handle it for exactly thirty seconds before his mouth is moving.

"Do you want to go get lunch?"

The rabbit stops, turning to face him fully. Well, John stops. She grabs his coat sleeve and tries to convert her momentum into a quick u-turn. It's mostly successful in that John has to swing an arm around her back to keep her upright. It's extremely successful in that the momentum carries her right on through and into his chest, where he keeps her pinned tight just because she seems quite content there. "You don't have to work?"

John shrugs, knowing Simon may well quit. "What's the point in being the boss if I can't bang in late every now and again?"

"I guess, but you don't want to -?"

Whatever she's about to suggest is interrupted by the very loud sound of John's stomach growling.

"Oh so that was more a cry for help than a suggestion?" the rabbit laughs, cute little nose scrunching up.

"I may be bloody famished, yeah."

"Oh, poor pumpkin. What are you feeling, then?" she asks as she heads off toward the exit, confident as she skates out of his arm's reach.

"Burgers. Maybe steak. Or lamb." Really, he wants an entire barrel of fish and perhaps some apples, but he wants to feed his poor little mate a mouthful of iron supplements more.

"It's lunch time," she laughs at him.

"Burgers, then?"

"Yeah, alright." He helps lower her onto the hall carpet and squats to help her with her laces. "You don't have to do that," she tells him but he just shakes his head at her.

"Want to." She's quiet after that, perhaps a little contemplative. She excuses herself while he returns the skates and when she comes back she smells like the fake, perfumed chemical they coat feminine products in which always sticks to his nose.

Honestly, cunt is supposed to smell like cunt. Even when it smells like a bloody cunt. Humans are fucking ridiculous.

"Hope you know I'm driving you there," John informs as he holds the door for her yet again.

"That doesn't even make any sense," his rabbit laughs. "You're gonna drive me all the way back here before going into work?"

"Might do. Or: new bartender starting today. Might let you be his guinea pig all evening."

"Oh yeah? You trying to loosen my morals?" Her tone is light and airy but something has shuttered behind her eyes.

"No," John's voice is confident but quietly reassuring. "I'm trying to get you all lushed and cute tonight and then maybe try my hand tomorrow when you're charmed and impressed by the breakfast I make. How well you handle a hangover depending," he tacks on with a teasing little wink.

She blinks once, twice.

"That okay?"

"No. Well, yes, but uh -. It's not a good... time."

John just cocks his head at her, knowing full well what she means but needing to hear her say it so he has an excuse to spoil her.

The rabbi sighs, "It's just -. Christ this is embarrassing. If that's your end goal you should maybe know I'm on my period. Just so you don't get your hopes up tmuch."

"Oh, poor lamb." John's smile is wolfish, the cat that got the cream. "And here I've had you on your feet all morning. Do you want to get lunch? Or would you rather just curl up? I can make you something if you'd rather not stay out."

"No, that's - um. Lunch sounds good, thank you, but uh -. You're not… mad?"

A beat. John's smirk slides slowly off his face. "Mad?"

"I mean, if that was your plan and I'm… you're not upset?"

"No, honey…" John's not entirely sure how to handle this turn. Logistically he knows the first step should be reassurance, but there's a desperate, cloying, insightful little creature in his chest that wants to push all these niceties aside and demand why she would think he was mad. "A man can dream, but I had no expectations. There's nothing to be mad about." She gives him a wan smile and he can't help but continue, "In fact, I oughta give you my mum's number. I ever seem mad about that, you go ahead and tell her to sort me out."

It works, the quiet giggle she lets out has a touch too much relief for his taste, but he'd take that over whatever the hell misplaced anxiety she'd just been exhibiting.

"Can chastise you myself, you know. No mum's needed."

"Oh thank God. Would way rather you do it. She can be proper scary."

"And I can't?"

"Rabbits aren't scary. You ever yell at me, it won't be fear makes me change my ways."

"Not scary? They don't make kids sit on the Easter bunny's lap back home? I still gotta steer clear of malls this time of year."

John grins again, can't help the mental image she's conjured of him having to scare off a man in a pink bunny suit for her. "So I'll have to wait at least a month to spoil you with a shopping trip, noted."

She splutters. "You don't have to do that ever!"

He shrugs, "Told you, want to. Now get in, I'm hungry enough I'd eat you if you held still long enough." When she blanches, scandalized, he can't help but grin.

"Okay, yeah, let's go. But -."

John resolutely doesn't let his smile drop lest she thinks he's mad again, but he can't help the punched out feeling her continued protests elicit.

"- if I'm spending the night, I do definitely need to drive the Jeep to a more anonymous parking lot. That thing gets towed, I'm screwed."

Yes, it sure would be a shame if someone hobbled her speedy little den before she realized you belonged with him. Still, "I'll tell you what. You keep letting me treat you to lunches and dinners and whatever other little excursions we can come up with and I'll let you park at the bar whenever you'd like, hm?"

"What, so I can deal with the noisy neighbors?"

"Have it on good authority the second floor's pretty well sound proofed. You can hang your hat up there if it ever bugs you," he winks. "But fine, go get your bloody buggy. I'll send you the address, yeah?"

Part seven >>

#bearshifter!price #captain john price x you #captain john price x reader #john price x you #john price x reader #bear!price #fatted rabbit

[ntls-24722]

OH YEAH i neglected to add: Cameron appearance!!

And also; God Cameron AU???

A big aspect of Cameron is that no matter how attached he is to Miguel he still won't abandon his original universe. Miguel means the world to him, but Miguel still isn't his true home, and he can't deny the artificiality of being in there - No real life, no real sun, no real anything. He wants to die and rot one day in our universe, no amount of love can shake that, and Miguel is heartbroken because while Cameron still has a lot of years to spend alive, it'll feel like a blip to her. She has to move on from that.

Originally the alternative to this is Cameron being forcefully put in an infinite series of paradise rooms for all of eternity, but a completely different alternative is just... well. "What if you didn't have to die so soon?... What if you could choose when that is?"

Cameron's existance is promoted to universal status - he becomes the same thing that Miguel is, and essentially becomes a god, at least in Miguel.

Universes trade the ability to directly interfere with things and events within them for the laws of physics that can handle matters automatically. For example - Gravity. Things that come up must come down. If you instill gravity in yourself, then everything falls. Perfect! But what if something falls that you really don't want falling? If you choose to intervene and break the law of gravity to save it, congrats, the Thing won't fall, but the only way to break a law of physics is to abolish it, and in doing so, you have ruined your entire universe that depended on gravity and you need to start over. If you don't instill gravity, cool, you can intervene no problem. But for everything that falls at any given time, you need to voluntarily add your sense of gravity, which becomes exhausting and annoying fast, like voluntarily controlling your heartbeat and breath.

Our universe is an immobile universe, meaning that every law of physics is instilled, and our universe cannot directly intervene with anything that happens - it has created the perfect simulation for Literally Everything, but now it can't control ANY variables. Miguel is a mobile universe, meaning it CAN directly intervene with things that happen. However, many of her laws are very nonsensical, which is why her universe tends to Not Make Sense.

So what about Cameron in this case? Cameron... is the MOST mobile universe to exist right now.

Cameron is now a universe with nothing in it except for himself, which means laws he makes for himself ONLY apply to himself and nothing else - There's no risk of ruining the simulation you made when there is nothing to simulate but yourself. That being said, unless he is on earth (in which he will abide by our universe's laws, like how gods have "mortal" forms), he only has one law that he has made for himself: If his memories as Cameron pre-godhood are ever disposed of or altered in ANY WAY, he will cease to exist.

That's RIIIIGHT baby! The crisis isn't dying in another universe and never being able to tell the love of your life that you're even gone or say goodbye, it's holding onto your humanity in the presence of your newfound godhood!

Cameron doesn't like being omnipotent! Thankfully his mortal memories are actively dumbing him down and screen himself from looking too deeply into things (if he wanted to, he could see the outcome of everything that will happen ever on our universe. He is desperately trying to keep himself a little dumb as to not ever find that out because if he did, he'd find no point in living always knowing what's going to happen next) but it's scary having to monitor your own memories constantly to make sure you don't forget how it was like being mortal and not knowing what happens next!

Half his "brain" contains not just all his memories but all of Cameron's biometric data, down to the way every atom was put together, but the other half is his memories while being a god. He routinely has to clear out that half!

Technically in this AU, he is an omnipotent god who could know every secret and thing to be known about our universe, Miguel, and any other universe out there. To him, he's still a photographer from Michigan who lives in a barbie dream house and enjoys trespassing on abandoned property on the weekends with his buddies. And he will fight tooth and nail to always be that.

#ntls-24722 #cameron #woolfe #god cameron #miguel #original character

[maple-the-awesome]

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 22

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 3,679

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: LIL' WIZ

Silence isn't always a bad thing, however there's a substantial difference between peaceful tranquility and suffocating strain. Unfortunately, you're stuck with the latter which is making your nerves feel like a trampoline park.

It had been heartbreaking as you helped Tony to his feet, ignoring his stubborn refusal to accept your aid while he attempted to shove you away and stand on his own. It was useless in the end, forcing him to reach a compromise by allowing you to help him into another, warmer room where there's at least a bench he can rest on compared to his former place on the floor.

You feel ashamed for letting things get this far. Each second, you replay today's events in your head, pointing out every little crossroad where you could have possibly done something different just to change the turnout.

Maybe you should've confirmed Tony actually knew about Hollie and parents' deaths instead of assuming Steve already did so. You shouldn't have let that video play. The second you realized what it was going to be about, you should've destroyed the screen and thus prevented Tony from having to see such a horrible thing. You could've done more to prevent the fight that took place afterwards even if that meant risking your own safety by physically getting in between everyone.

'...There are so many things you could've done differently...'

After radioing for someone to come pick you guys up, you search the facility for medical equipment. Tony's injuries aren't fatal, but it'll be awhile before anyone can get here and he might feel a little better once bandaged up. This is what you tell yourself anyways, truly just hoping for a way to distract yourself because maybe then your hands will stop shaking so violently.

You had pretty much forgotten all about Zemo until reentering that main room you had encountered him in originally. What was his plan again? To turn the Avengers against each other as revenge? Well, he succeeded and he probably used the aftermath as a distraction to make his escape. Who knows where he went or if you'll ever have to look at his sorry ass again? Regardless of how much hate you’ve felt towards him all day, you can’t be bothered to care anymore...He’s the least of your concerns right now.

The suffocating silence continues when you return to Tony with a medical kit. Again, he tries shooing you away, however you remain just as stubborn despite the calm and patient tone you fight to maintain with him.

'Besides, he has every right to hate you. You helped Bucky - the man who murdered nearly the whole Stark family. You, a close friend, betrayed him until the last second.'

"I'm surprised you didn't go with them since you’ve seemed so keen on defending Barnes's ass all the time," Tony observes bitterly, refusing to even look at you as you dab his face with a cotton-ball.

You can only sigh, "...I didn't want things to go the way that they did. I didn't want anyone to get hurt like this -"

"- Well, it's a little too late for that, don't you think? Forty two years too late, in fact."

Frowning, you set the bloodied cotton ball down, redirecting your eyes to the medical kit to check what bandages are inside, but your mind is too jumbled to properly look through them. You scan the box several times, yet you can't seem to remember what you just looked at which results in your eyes going back over each item a second and third time. Eventually a forth, too.

"Bucky regrets what happened -"

"- As you keep saying -"

"- When he first remembered Hollie's death, he was devastated - inconsolable even. He's never denied his guilt or his role in it. He believes himself to be just as responsible for what happened as you think he is. Nothing I’ve tried saying has been able to change that,” you explain foolishly as if Tony will share your pain. He doesn’t.

"He deserves it -"

"- Tony -"

Before you're able to put a small butterfly bandage over the deep cut on his forehead, he suddenly jerks away from you with a deadly glare, "- No, I don't give a shit if he feels guilty. He deserves every ounce of it because my aunt did nothing to deserve death! She never hurt anyone. She never took advantage of others, never cheated the system or made shady deals to fill her own pockets - she was better than that and you know what the worst part is? She loved Barnes. She would talk about him all the time and as a kid, I used to wish I could've met him because I thought 'wow, if Auntie Hollie admires him this much, he must be a real amazing guy, huh?'. Turns out he's the one who killed her. She could've lived a long life. She could still be here now if it wasn't for him.

"Do you know how I felt back then? Do you know how it feels to be told that your aunt isn't going to be around for your birthday not because she just can't make it - had a little car trouble or too much work on her desk - but because she was shot dead outside of her own home? Defenseless and left to bleed out alone?! And do you have any idea how I felt learning she was on her way to my party? Hell, I still don't celebrate my birthday because each time it comes around, I think about that week - that week of mom crying and dad throwing shit against the wall in his office as I sat in my room waiting for someone to tell me it was all some cruel joke.”

Tony’s eyes are watery at this point. The more he admits, the more fidgety he gets, eventually shifting against the bench and talking with his hands, “While everyone else celebrates me getting older, I can only remember being four years old sitting in the front row of my aunt's funeral, believing it was somehow my fault because if I hadn't begged her to come to my party, maybe she wouldn't have gone outside that day? M-Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have been killed -?"

"- Tony, it wasn't your fault," you cut him off sternly, your heart breaking after hearing his voice crack towards the end. You attempt to place a hand over his - more on instinct than rational thought - yet he rips it away.

"I know that," he hisses before his voice falls more silent as he stares at the floor, "I...I know that and I've gotten over that part…but what I can't get over is the fact that Barnes was the one to take her away. My aunt was my role model. She was everything I wanted to be when I grew up. She was always there for me and frankly, she cared about me more than even my damn dad did. He cared about her more than me, too.

“...After she died, he didn't spare any expense looking for her killer and planning to bring the fiercest justice down upon them. What would he have thought if he figured out it was Barnes all along? That he was the one to kill Hollie and would be the one to kill him and mom years later, too? What did our family ever do to him, huh?!"

"...Nothing...None of you did anything," you whisper, keeping your hands flat on your lap. A few tears hit them after rolling down your cheeks, yet you do nothing to fix your slumped-forward posture.

"Then why do you defend him?" Tony challenges, already knowing his confession has done nothing to change your mind towards the situation.

"Because...Bucky didn't do anything to deserve what happened either," Tony opens his mouth, however you don't give him the chance, "Bucky loves Hollie as much as you do. If he had a single ounce of control back then, there's no doubt in my mind he wouldn't have hurt her. The problem was never him, it was HYDRA. They wanted to eliminate anyone who would get in their way. That's why your family was killed. Howard and Hollie both stood against them before and they would've done so again. For that reason, they were killed and so was Maria who I'm sure was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Bucky was captured by HYDRA and used as their assassin against his own will. I'm sure those sick fucks found amusement in sending him after people he once knew and cared about…It's terrible for all involved: those who died, Bucky for being forced to have their blood on his hands, and you for having to loose your family..." You trail off for a second then ask while chewing on your bottom lip, "...I've actually been meaning to ask: did you ever get that present?"

"What 'present'?"

"The one Hollie got you for your fourth birthday - that brass telescope. It was the one you wanted, right? At least I'm certain it was..." You don't look up at him, instead playing with the fabric of your suit, "Yeah, I remember you had that whole faze as a kid where you loved all things space related. You would tell everyone including random people on the street about this one particular telescope that you happened to see at a toy store on Mason Avenue. Of course, I knew Howard would never get the hint even if it whacked him upside the head, so I got it for you myself...Did you ever receive it, though?"

Tony stares at you as if you're clinically insane which might be his exact thought process right now. His mouth hangs open ever so slightly as he shakes his head, "...What did you do? Go through my shit and -"

"- If I went through your shit, I would've had to find it and then I wouldn't need to be asking the question, would I?" You shoot back the remark then sigh, mumbling more to yourself, "...Geeze, out of everyone, I thought you'd be the one to figure it out first given how much you like to insert yourself in our lives. I went through so much effort yet was still on the edge of my seat worrying you'd spot the inconsistencies anyways..."

"What are you on about?" Now he sounds plain annoyed, so much so that he pushes himself off the bench to get away from you as he’s truly beginning to worry about your mental health. Maybe you went insane dealing with Bucky for two years straight or hit your head a little too hard during the fight moments ago. Either way, you're not exactly in his good graces, so he has no reason to sit here and bother listening to your nonsense.

"Tony, why do you think I care so much about Bucky?" You stand up as well, grabbing his arm to prevent him from going any further. Despite the question, you don't allow him to answer, making it rhetorical as you continue, "I've risked everything to help him up until this point yet I stayed here to help you. Now I'm sitting here talking about things I shouldn't know - things about your family that you've kept so close to your chest that there’s no way a random outsider born in the nineties should know them...Come on, you're supposed to be a genius, right? What's the common denominator here?"

For a second, it looks like he's actually thinking about your little 'quiz', but he quickly shakes his head and gives his arm a tug in your grasp, "Let go."

"Not until you answer me."

"I'm not in the mood for this -"

"- Neither am I, Anthony," you remain stubborn, not loosening your grip over his arm, in fact you tighten it, "It's Hollie - she's the common denominator. She loved Bucky more than anything even if he was the one to kill her and she was your aunt which means you held just as much of her heart as he did. Now you're gotta ask what that has to do with me? What does any of this have to do with me and that's the key, Tony! …I was Hollie - way back then, I lived and saw the world as her until the day she died and I still remember nearly every second of it.”

Your frown grows when Tony finally gets his arm away from you, facing you with a glare, yet even through the dim light of this room, you can see the tears brimming in his eyes, "I told you I don't have the time for this nor do I have the patience. It's one thing for you to keep defending Barnes, but to sit here and drag this conversation on while making ridiculous claims that you were my aunt? Do you not hear how crazy you fucking sound?!"

Shrinking under his shout, you once again start chewing on your lip as a nervous habit, your mind whirling with hurried thoughts while you run your now free hand through your hair, "...Perhaps I got some of the details wrong? I'm just going off of old memories here. I have to admit, everything in the days leading up to my death are a little...fuzzy at best, however I do remember the important stuff.

"I-I remember being your aunt. From the moment I first held you, I wanted to make it my mission to spoil the crap out of you because I knew you were the closest thing I'd ever get to having my own child. I wanted to give you the world however that might look like, be it by playing pirates outside or teaching you how to wire a circuit board. It seemed like you always had a new hobby to obsess over and even though I knew you'd have a new one by the end of the week, I still obsessed over it with you no matter what it was because it made you happy.

"Yeah, I sound fucking crazy, but even though I'm (Y/n) (L/n) now, I continue to think of you as my nephew. Ever since I started regaining the memories of my past as Hollie, a part of my thoughts have always been occupied by the people I knew and loved as her. Those feelings have never disappeared.

“You know, I went home and cried that day Natasha first introduced us. I cried because I always dreamed of seeing my brilliant nephew grow up only to have that stolen from me. Now you’re older than me and you don't see me as family which is understandable. I...I don't expect you to believe that I'm Hollie. I just...I don't want you to think for a second that I'm trying to mess with you or take advantage of your feelings. I know I've already let you down by hiding Bucky and not telling you about his role in our family's deaths, however I...My intentions aren't to dig up old wounds for you...I'm sorry it’s worked out like that -”

“- If you're really Hollie…" Tony starts in a whisper and you nearly give yourself whiplash looking up at him, although he's not looking back at you, "...Then what was the message engraved on that telescope and where?"

"The message...?" You echo with a raised eyebrow, nothing coming to mind too quickly.

When you don't answer, Tony clicks his tongue as a way to act casual despite the way he sniffs back his tears immediately afterwards. He's prepared to swallow his disappointment and leave the room regardless of whether someone is here to get you guys yet. He can't stay in this stuffy building anymore, especially not when his chest feels so tight all of the sudden. He needs air...

"I think…I think it was on the bottom,” Tony freezes at the sound of your voice.

Your eyes are squeezed shut as you try your best to recall that telescope. It’s been forty two years, after all. You do remember having a message engraved on it. What was it, though? Something cheesy…Yeah, you were real cheesy back then; the cool aunt Tony would've no doubt been embarrassed by if you were around for his teenage years.

You snap your fingers suddenly, "Right! 'Reach for the stars and beyond even those, Lil' Wiz, love Auntie Hollie'; that was the message...Damn, was it bad. I hated that I couldn’t think of anything more clever. Sure, you were only four, so it's not like you would’ve cared or anything, but I didn’t feel that was a proper excuse for such low standards.”

You’re afraid to glance at Tony, however you somehow find the strength to do so anyways. It’s difficult to read his expression which a lot of people would find shocking if you told them because Tony Stark’s known for his arrogant and loud personality. To leave him speechless is either really impressive or really worrisome.

Unbeknownst to you, he’s thinking and desperately searching for evidence as to why he shouldn’t believe you. He’s spent too much of his childhood being forced to go to counseling and too many birthdays slumped over his bar to suddenly accept this outlandish idea that his aunt - the same aunt he’s gravely missed since he was four years old - is standing right in front of him. The universe isn’t that kind, especially not to him, so there must be some trick here.

Where’s the flaws in your lie? You’ve always been smart, that’s why he offered you a job at Stark Industries after the fall of SHIELD, however you left instead. There! If you’re supposedly Hollie, why’d you turn down his offer and go away? …To find Bucky; that’s right. You’ve spent two years caring for him, but there must be some other logical expectation for that. He’s not bad looking if Tony squints. He might be in need of a good scrub down, yet he’d also build like a brick wall with obvious confidence issues. You’re probably into that shit, who knows?

Steve hated your guts when it first came out you were keeping Bucky from him only to suddenly like you again soon afterwards. What reason can there be for that? The power of friendship prevails? Maybe he’s got a little crush of his own? Those are good excuses, and as for the telescope thing, Tony was probably right about you going through his stuff to find it…The only problem there is that he keeps that telescope locked in his room in a box under his bed since he doesn’t like looking at it. Now, you might be smart, but smart enough to hack into JARVIS just to sneak into his room without taking anything?

“Tony…” You whisper his name, reaching a hand out, however you stop yourself short. You feel incredibly guilty - more so than you had been before this conversation.

Suddenly, you’re reminded of why you don’t like telling people about Hollie. Natasha and Steve are the only ones to ever believe you. Two out of how many others who have cast you aside? You’ve gotten too comfortable; that’s your problem. This is why you’re not supposed to tell anyone about your secret. It’s hurt those who knew Hollie and it hurts you, too, because it only reinforces the idea that you can’t live two lives at once.

Opening your mouth, you plan to apologize again while biting back your tears, but Tony beats you to the speaking role, “...So, how’s this work?”

“H-Huh?”

“The whole…Hollie-(Y/n) thing?” He gestures a hand towards you, scrunching his eyebrows, “You’re living as (Y/n), but you have Hollie’s memories?”

You hesitate, “I, um…It’s a reincarnation thing, I guess. I don’t really know how or why I remember my past -”

“- And that’s why I’m guessing you joined SHIELD?”

“It’s nice to start somewhere familiar,” you shrug awkwardly, not sure where he’s taking this, “It was supposed to be a job until Natasha offered to introduce me to you. I wasn’t planning on sticking around, but I also wanted to see how you were doing…How you turned out with Howard’s parenting job.”

“‘Parenting’ is a generous word…” Tony scoffs with a roll of his eyes. When he trails off, you dare to look up at him fully, watching his features shift from a pretty good poker face to a softer, more vulnerable expression, “...Did I turn out like you hoped?”

His words take you by surprise and you must’ve blinked a dozen times while gaping like a fish before they process inside your head. Even when you understand what he had asked, you’re still left shocked because how could that ever be a question in his head?

“Of course!” Your response reflects your breathless astonishment, “I don’t think I could be any prouder than I am of you, Anthony.”

Tony sniffs again, turning his head away from you as if that’ll make his hand invisible from your sight as he almost raises it to his face. He halts this action, however, turning back to you with a poor attempt at a ‘casual’ nod, “Good, um, that’s - Hmph!”

Whatever he was going to say, he’s cut off when you step forward and wrap your arms around him. It’s not the most comfortable hug given his suit and you’re careful not to cut yourself on the broken shards, although it’s still enough to have him dazed for a second, his arms held out to the side in refusal (or perhaps fear) towards the idea of hugging you back.

“...What are you -?”

“- I haven’t gotten to hug my nephew in forty two years…Let me have this,” you whisper, your eyes shut not that it saves you from crying. Those blasted tears find a way anyways!

Slowly, his arms fall around you, holding onto you tightly seconds before the sound of sniffles can be heard echoing through the quiet air and once again. You’re smiling softly, feeling like you’re back in 1974, holding a young Tony in your arms as he cries against your shoulder over how long it’s been since he had seen you a week ago. Many things have changed since then, but your love for your nephew never has.

NEXT CHAPTER ->

<- PREVIOUS CHAPTER

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #captain america #captain america civil war #falcon and winter soldier #winter solider x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson #stark!reader #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #marvel x reader #marvel #x reader #reader insert

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x05 review - this should be WAY messier than it is

I was talking to @jewels20 about this horrible show and we were laughing because I was like, idk everyone is insufferable except Conrad who doesn't have enough of a personality to be insufferable, he's just around being sad and everyone hates him for it. Like, he's just THERE trying to deal with his mother's death, guys. He hasn't actually DONE anything. He's just a guy. Who's sad. And I just find it really funny because they frame as like this enigma or this asshole and I'm just like idk, he just seems sad.

No more recaps, I'm a professional.

I was like what does the opening tune of the show remind me of because I swear I've heard something like it and I realized it reminds me of season 1 YOU.

It's even in the little things, if Jere is supposed to be frenzied running up the stairs, then RUN up the stairs, this is a light jog, sir, you might as well just walk.

I don't know what he's looking for. If everything is gone downstairs, it seems only natural that things would be gone upstairs too.

"Everything's gone" I mean ... LOOK AROUND?

This is the most emotion Conrad has shown and it's not even mediocre, it just SEEMS decent in the context of how flat everyone -- including him -- usually is.

Again this whole fight should be a FIGHT, talk over one another, if you're trying to stop Conrad from railing up on Skye, Conrad actually has to come in with that energy, wrench away, everything is SO careful, too careful for this to have the energy needed to match Jeremiah's monotonous voiceover about everything be fucked.

Why is this dude -- the festival worker dude -- STILL here? How does this have anything to do with you?

Jere: I DON'T LOOK UP TO MY BIG BROTHER ANYMORE AFTER THIS YEAR. I CAN TAKE CHARGE also Jere: KEEPS tapping a key card as if it'll suddenly unlock the door after it's been rejected like ten times.

"My mom works the randomnest hours so that alone should..." then why didn't you say this after the, like, sixth time Jeremiah tried to use his clearly deficient key card?

I need Belly's brother to shut up.

"Are you OK?" *Conrad proceeds to explain how he's feeling* have the writers ever written before? I...

"That invisible force between the two of them" WHERE? WHERE?

W H E RE?

"And it's tearing her up that you haven't responded to her texts since last summer" that is not what I saw. I saw her make a frowny face.

"Like it hurts, my chest physically hurts to not be able to tell her that I'm in love with her" then I need MORE than what I am SEEING. If you're going to have this kind of dialogue have the energy to match it.

"And my genius plan to stay pissed at her and keep her at arm's length is a failure" Yeah we saw that already, why are we rehashing in a voiceover? Also why was it a failure though because she didn't really do anything to make you crumble? Like ... none of these dynamics are believable or earned. They're all so hollow.

"You do have a flair for the epic." It's a screening room.

Yeah, they are marginally less terrible than her and Conrad. I kind of almost believe this

more than the beach anyway. And when they stop and do the stare I believe that more than when she and Conrad stop and do the stare.

How on the nose, The Apartment on the projector when Belly is beginning the process of switching brothers. Again. (It's a "don't slut shame" message for the viewer).

"She'd go all out. She'd pick a theme and pick three movies in a row" unless it's watching the director's cut of LOTR back-to-back-to-back that is not boast worthy. That's just a classic binge and I don't even really consider that a binge. A fourth movie would be a binge.

You can put The Apartment up on the projector all you want, Belly is messy for this. So is Jere.

Oh this Taylor/Steven scene looks long, I am skipping it.

"I know she missed having you as a friend" oh honey, she's switched over now.

"I wanted to call you" "I wish you would've. I would've answered. I would've come' right but you said nothing to him during holiday dinner? LOL OK BELLY.

Guys, she's horrible. I'm sorry, but she really is.

Honestly, if you write out the plot, this show should be WILD, like Belly likes Conrad and kisses his younger brother Jeremiah because of reasons then Conrad is like hey I like you so she kisses Conrad like, what, a day later, two days later, the same day? Then she tells Jere hey I actually want to be with your brother then gets with said brother, sleeps with said brother, breaks up with said brother because he was sad at prom, tells said brother to go to hell and that she hates him at his mother's wake, then proceeds to start crushing on Jeremiah again? THIS SHOULD BE A ROLLERCOASTER.

lol Conrad does nooooooot care that Jere's pissed.

The minute I saw the golf cart I was like, oh good, another DC reference.

"I think I loved Conrard longer and true than anyone in my whole life" I mean you're like 5 minutes old, Belly, who could you have possibly loved longer?

And dialogue like this would be fine if I thought the show tapped into what it feels like to be a teenager in love, like Dawson's Creek really tapped into how you feel at 15/16, how heightened everything can be, all the hyper-dramatic emotions so that when Dawson and Joey are like YOU ARE MY SOULMATE and Pacey and Joey are like YOU HAVE MY FUTURE, YOU HAVE MY HEART and Pacey and Andie are like YOU ARE MY HERO I'm like yes, that makes sense.

Even Allison and Scott, like yeah, that's a first love

and Crystal sells it with HOW she speaks about him

"Cause I don't know if I can survive that" AGAIN where is the DRAMA? WHERE was this love she could never recover from? I SHOULD BE GETTING THIS ENERGY

oh this show pisses me off.

Skye and Cam Cameron have the most solid dynamic and they're barely side characters.

"I'll text her right now" you shouldn't text your teacher/authority figure at night, Belly. But why am I surprised when she doesn't have any boundaries.

Skye: "We worked so hard on this" they have the most conviction out of everyone there.

"It's pretty clear to me now that I never actually did" Why? Because he gave her a noogie.

This show is so unserious.

And the coach should not be replying at night either.

she cannot be serious.

I don't think she's supposed to be as insufferable as she is.

The house is sold.

#review

[shinsua]

I mentioned it briefly when I finished my last stream, but now that I've beaten my first major game, I'm going to spend some time to figure out my comfort zone and update my physical setup!

I've been annoyed with my audio and visuals for awhile, but just toughed it out because I wasn't super invested in my stream at the time. That will change. It's all just a matter of putting the actual work in.

Ignoring the technical stuff,

I want to figure out why exactly it is that I like streaming. Why it's something I want to pursue again. Why does time—so abundant in those moments—feel so well spent?

I've been around online for nearly 20 years, spinning my little web. Talking, in some manner, to people all over.

As time goes on, I find it harder and harder to keep in contact with everyone.

Sites fall apart, people fall off, so on.

And it only gets harder for some of us to cut away at the awkwardness that builds up over time.

No matter how much I don't want to let people slip through, I cannot focus all of my efforts on socializing that way.

I stream to grow and to reach out…

As a means to get better at conversing, opening up.

To share with my close friends.

A way to stay in contact with old friends, and to meet new ones.

But also as a motivator to do things for myself, even when no one's around. To not dawdle and lose track of time.

I feel like I haven't grown much lately—and I won't let that continue.

I have a lot of ideas swirling around in my head that I've never properly fleshed out.

One of those is Shinsua, my little phantom boy.

A character I've been toying around with for as long as I can remember.

I use his namesake often, so I figure I may as well use him as a mascot!

Even if he's a character for stories and games I haven't fully developed; why not put him up on screen?

Using Shinsua as a mouthpiece feels right to me.

I have big dumb goals in mind, a collection of characters and stories that need homes.

I also know creation is a process, to be taken step by step, and those goals won't feel any closer if the journey never starts.

I hope that everything I gain by streaming, I can pour into other pursuits I also love.

There's so much to do, but it'll never be more than scribbles on paper if I don't actually try.





I want to share so much of it in any way I can…

So thank you for reading this out of no where spilling of my guts.

It means a lot to me that anyone wants to hear the nonsense carried by my voice.

#shin talks

[fragments-of-despair]

So thanks to justonegamr uploading a really good let's play, I got to watch the entire first chapter/prologue of Master Detective Archives: Rain Code. And I have some....thoughts. Nothing bad, really, just....some concerns.

I'll keep any spoilers under the cut and will tag this as "Master Detective Archives Spoilers", "Rain Code Spoilers" and "MDA:RC Spoilers", in case anyone wants to filter out tags.

With that one last warning, onto my thoughts.

To start: Positives!

Music: Once again, Masafumi Takeda is a Master Composer, and the soundtrack is one of the strongest he's put out so far. I enjoyed listening to the music and felt it did great at establishing the tone and I feel like it'll be the most memorable part of the game for many.

Art and Character Design: As with the music, the character designs by Rui Komatsuzaki is spot on as always and every single character looks fantastic. And the designs translated pretty well into 3D. For anyone who had worries given how UDG's models look in 3D, rest assured, everyone looks great in the Unreal Engine. On top of that, the setting is very vibrant and interesting, despite it all being mostly in one location for a good amount of the opening chapter. The Mystery Labyrinth is very colorful and creative and it was fun seeing Yuma explore. Shimadoriru did excellent work and I'm excited to see more of his art in the setting of Kanai Ward.

Player Character/Protagonist: I WOULD DIE FOR YUMA KOKOHEAD. I adore this little guy and I find him to be quite entertaining. If Wato Hojo from Process of Elimination is what would happen if you fused Hajime and Shuichi, then Yuma Kokohead is what you'd get if you mixed Makoto and Shuichi (or if you want to imagine a Naegiri child, that is also an apt description of Yuma so far). He seems to have an ability to let him feel when someone is using their Forensic Forte, almost like some kind of magical physical empathy.

I want nothing but good things for him. Protect Yuma Kokohead.

The First Mystery: Without going into too much detail, the way the culprit of this first case managed to pull off the murders was rather clever. I have family that has been working railways for decades now, and we've been train fanatics for years, so the car switch trick was definitely clever. Not the first time this trick has been used in mysteries. In fact, I'd say it's a classic in train-centric murder mysteries. But Rain Code's example was really good in that not only was it clever for the murderer, but also was good to help establish more about our big bad and give hints to the difficulty of the enemies to follow. Overall, a solid mystery.

Now for the negatives. Or rather......concerns......Okay, a mix of both really.

Last chance to turn away before MAJOR SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Gameplay and User Interface: From what I've seen this game is not going to be friendly for those who have vision issues. There were points where I was finding it difficult to read and that affected my ability to enjoy the investigative portions. And I'm watching on a small flatscreen TV I use as a computer monitor. Playing this on small screens is going to be hard for some, which I don't think was really taken into account during development. Aesthetically it looks fantastic, but unless you got really good vision or some super strong glasses, you'll probably have as hard a time as I did. (this will be especially hard in the Pirate Pop Up minigame that seems to be replacing Hangman's Gambit. We truly cannot avoid that game being hell, can we?).

Also, there were parts where, as I was watching, it looked like there might be issues regarding whether or not the controls will read properly. It looked like justonegamr should have managed to dodge some things but in the end, the game read that they didn't. I imagine a lot of it has to do with the font and the size of the hit box. Just know that if this was an issue for you in UDG, it might be a minor problem in Rain Code as well.

Also, there were points during the game that I thought that the concept of the Mystery Labyrinth was....for lack of better words, it felt very gratuitous at points. I think the story is trying to set up something with them, so I'll hold my full thoughts off until then, but with what we're presented with so far, it's pretty much coming off as "What if we took the trials of Danganronpa and made it a Persona 5 dungeon", and it isn't really working for me.

Oh yeah, Climax Reasoning is back. Forgot to mention that. It's....fine? I guess? I think it leans too far in the aesthetics and had trouble reading most of the questions and hints personally. It's kind of hard to top the Climax Reasoning from Goodbye Despair and V3......

The Rest of the Cast and Overall Story: Oh boy. This one is going to be a doozy.

I just want to say, before we go on, that what I am about to say is my personal thoughts and if you do not agree, no hard feelings. It's just my own personal silly little opinion and you're free to disregard it.

With that being said, I am severely disappointed in how Five of the Master Detectives that were advertised were treated.

I hope no one here were fans of Pucci, Zange, Melami, Zilch, or Aphex based on their designs, Character Profiles, and Forensic Fortes. Because they're all dead.

That's right. FIVE of our detectives are dead right now. What had happened was, Amataratsu Corp. hired a hitman to kill the detectives. And that hitman was Zilch. Or rather, someone disguised as Zilch. Or maybe it was Zilch. See, the explanation we're given is that there was a Master Detective named Zilch, but that he was killed before the others and his identity was stolen, while his body is stored on the train somewhere. The Imposter Zilch then drugged everyone, killed Pucci, Melami, Zenge, and Aphex by burning them to death, and then used Aphex's body to help fake his own death, before hiding in the control room in a blind spot and framing Yuma for the crime. The train car swap was done using a split track and a tunnel as well as leaving a car behind at one station (it was supposed to be five cars long but was four for the trip to pull off the trick), and having another prepared at the end point. The real Zilch is supposed to be on the car that was left behind on at the station.

But according to Shinigami, completing the Mystery Labyrinth and letting her reap the culprit's soul there kills the culprit. And the culprit looked like too much Zilch to make me believe it wasn't. Shouldn't it have looked more like the actual character? Or perhaps be similar to the Grey Man we see in the Climax Reasoning if they wanted to keep it more vague?

Also, throughout the prologue up until their deaths, it really felt like they were building up these detectives to be interesting acquaintances to Yuma, and I was looking forward to seeing how they'd all work together and grow. Aphex actually ended up being my favorite of the five because what little interactions we got were that impactful to me. So you can imagine my surprise to find all these detectives not only dead, but that Zilch (my second favorite) wasn't even the real Zilch. I wasn't shocked like I was when playing Danganronpa or going through Process of Elimination and finding these characters dead. I was left feeling hollow, frustrated, but mostly, I was disappointed. The hype around these characters and their talents was enough to get me hooked, and what little we got made me want more. But now we're not going to get anything. It's like being given a taste sample at Cold Stone only to be told that the ice cream you were offered was just taken off the menu by corporate and they're not allowed to serve it to you anymore. This is going to make a lot of people put down the game I think if they were hoping to investigate with any of those five and experience their Fortes in more interesting and dynamic cases, and I wouldn't blame them. If they bring them back somehow, it'll have to be pretty damn convincing because as things are now, they can't without making it feel like an asspull.

And as for Shinigami.......

I'm so sorry everyone, but I just cannot get behind her right now. She's a lot like if you fused Junko, Genocide Jack, and Ibuki in terms of personality, for lack of better ways to describe her. It was those three I was thinking of whenever she spoke or was on screen. But there's a reason characters like Ibuki, Jack, and Junko work, and a lot of that is moderation and balance. They're used moderately, balanced with the rest of the cast or with the character they're primarily spending time with. But since for most of the chapter she's your primary partner, that moderation isn't there. And there were so, so, SO many times I just wanted to hit her. I'm sure she's going to have a lot of fans, and there were parts about her that I enjoyed (usually when her behavior was more toned down and when she was not using Yuma's pain as humor), I know a lot of her actions are due to the mystery of the contract she made with Yuma and that will be revealed in time, but there were times where I wanted Yuma to just tell her to stop. And her talk about death and despair...... Yeah, as a Danganronpa fan, that's setting off a LOT of alarm bells. (I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this did turn out to secretly be a Danganronpa game given how she's being written so far).

If her overall character becomes more balanced or goes through well written growth, then my opinion will probably change, but as is, she's on the bottom of my list of characters I'm enjoying from this game.

Also, Yakou Furio is..... there. So yeah.

FINAL THOUGHTS (so far):

Between the characters we lost and the ones we still have and the rules of the Mystery Labyrinth, I'm really concerned about how the overall story is going to go. The game has a lot to do to earn back my trust after what happened to the first five detectives we met, and the writing is definitely going to need to pick up in ways that'll hook on the players who might consider putting this down after Chapter 0. The UI could have been better implemented and more accessable, and the future Labyrinths will need to really do something to justify their need to be included in the narrative going forward.

But the character designs, art, music, and Yuma alone make this game worth at least watching playthroughs of. And I do want to see Yuma's continued growth with the remaining detectives.

If you're a die-hard Danganronpa fan who just wants to have every part of Danganronpa Team's works in your collection, this game is worth a place there, I think. The Soundtrack especially is worth the price of the base game imo.

But if you're debating if you'll enjoy this game overall, I'd suggest waiting a couple of weeks for a more solid consensus before investing $60-$100.

As for Kakera's thoughts? Overall, I'm not mad. Just confused and disappointed.

#mod kakera posts #master detective archives spoilers #rain code spoilers #MDA:RC Spoilers #TLDR if you don't want to read the post and be spoiled: #i'm not mad just disappointed #and I hope it gets better

[mermaidsirennikita]

Do you have any recs for men having an existential crisis after sex books? 😂

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid do lighter versions of this with both Ilya and Shane, which I kinda loved. Like it's a part of their growth as a couple that the sex becomes more intimate and therefore a bit more like "MMMMM WHAT DID WE JUST DO". There's a sex scene in Heated Rivalry that I love where Ilya calls Shane an endearment in the middle of it (and at this point they're just fuckbuddies) AFTER being like "oh I want you to ride me while we make eye contact during" and Shane is like "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm" and after it's just. Awkward. Because it was very good. But very intimate. And they don't do intimacy at that point.

In The Long Game, after they become a couple, they have sex in Shane's trophy room and get really into some kinda specific dirty talk and afterwards they're like "well that was weird" and it's very adorable and long term couple real lol.

Lead by Kylie Scott has a fabulous first sex scene that is totally the hero's idea. The heroine is his sober companion/assistant/best friend and at this point she's admitted that she has feelings for him, which is why she's quitting, and he's like "hey, bright idea, let's casually fuck on the kitchen table so that you can get it out of your system, and it'll probably be so bad that you're not even into me like that anymore and we can go back to what we were before" because he obviously cannot live without her. And after what is obviously incredible sex he's like "anyway SEE YA" and dashes off to have a total mental blue screen moment.

When the Duke Was Wicked by Lorraine Heath has the hero and heroine both get kinda drunk while discussing shit that men who care about her would do to her (as he does this to her, a woman he viewed as a kid sister growing up). Things get out of hand, maybe he licks rum off her pussy, and then when he's like taking her home to drop her off at her house he's just like ".........." clearly having a total crisis.

The Highwayman by Kerrigan Byrne has a sex scene in which the hero ties her up, bends her over, and like... roughly fucks her. And then runs away without untying her!!! because of a Thing he said in the middle of it that completely gave the game away and by the time she finds him he's like. Literally broken. He may be crying? It's great.

The wedding night scene in Devil in Winter when Sebastian gets way more into it than he expected to (because, you know, he doesn't love, he isn't into virgins, he's very slutty and experienced and this means nothing, so on) and like. SURPRISE COMES LMAO. And afterwards he's like shaking while he washes his face and is like "what the fuck just happened" because he intended to pull out and didn't have time to.

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean, another great "Mistakes Were Made on this Wedding Night" moment, in which noted trash man Bourne has very passionate sex with new wife-by-forced-marriage/childhood bestie Penelope and then is like "ummmm that was way too good, I need to skedaddle physically AND emotionally".

Like... every sexual encounter in Kresley Cole's Lothaire is this, lol, because Lothaire is learning how to be a real boy throughout this novel, and constantly is all "we should do sex things" and midway through going "ABORT ABORT ABORT" without actually stopping anything because Ellie's pussy is God, etc. The real time realization in his mind that he has fucked up royally the first time they fuck (which is really like, over the pants dry humping that nonetheless has him literally yelling her name in like 10 minutes).... is one of the best things I've ever read. gET UP LOTHAIRE!! GET UP!!!!

How to Marry A Marquess by Stacy Reid has the classic "I fucked my best friend six ways from Sunday last night and now I've gotta break it to her that I do not wish to marry" existential crisis.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

[apoptoses]

omg I'm having fit because I typed this up in my notes app yesterday on the subway and just realized I never actually sent it you lmao I'm a clown 🙈

Anyway what I wanted to say was for the writer feedback thing: I actually think about this a lot because you're one of the fic-writers I take literal notes on because you have the Midas touch imo -- it's all gold 💖

Three things about your style that stand out to me the most are

You take risks! I don't mean the sex stuff (although that's great and I love it), but like you don't shy away from the gritty, painful, raw stuff that cuts deep and oozes all over the place. Your Daniel is no saint, and neither is Armand. When I read your D/A, I feel like I'm reading them the way Anne intended them to be read, and I think that's why CPMS nestles so perfectly within canon DM to your readers.

You show and don't just tell! It's never just "Armand is sad," you really weave the narrative to create the experience of physically being in the room with him, of seeing, sensing, knowing he's sad. When I read your stuff it's not just a well-crafted sentence on the screen; it's a full-body, five-senses experience. I usually need a joint and nap afterwards lmao.

You really nail the whole Ricey technique of weaving in the past with the present in a way that's organic and contributes to the overall story. Nothing you write is filler because it all serves a purpose.

tl;dr: reading your stuff makes me a better writer and overall enriches my entire life and ily, I can't articulate myself well enough atm but i'm so glad you're in my fandom 😭😭💘💘

lol it's only natural that clown things happen here at clown school (and I swear tumblr is the biggest clown of them all when it comes to formatting stuff)

Anyways this has had me all verklempt all day because these are really big compliments and I'm not even sure I've earned them but the sentiment is just so nice.

Risk taking is like...the most important thing to me in my work. I feel like if I'm not doing something unexpected there's no point in even opening a doc. I have to push a boundary with the setting or what Armand decides to do, and then it becomes really scary because I pushed the boundary! And now I have to share it and hope people trust me enough to go along for the ride.

And I'm so happy that so many people do! Because Armand and Daniel are both so precious to me and so near to my soul in so many ways. Sometimes my life feels like a series of experiences that happened just to culminate in me understanding them, which makes sharing my interpretation of them a vulnerable thing. So to hear that they're that right is hugely validating ♥

And then like- I've been in this weird place with writing right now. where I feel like I like what I do, and I can read other author's works and identify what I love about what they do. But I can't figure out how to polish my own skills enough to achieve the same thing. I can't figure out how to take my descriptions to that next level.

So yes. Hearing that I'm doing good right now and if I only ever stay doing things like this it'll still be good is a huge comfort to me.

So just. Thank you 🥹 Hearing that my little hobby has that much impact is so gratifying and fyi if these notes are an actual thing i'm going to bully you until you show me them just saying Thank you for always encouraging me ily 💖💖💖

#apoptoses answers

[thosewhosleep-donotrest]

LOADING.......

@askjonahmarshall Video: PLAY <

The video cuts in, gritty textures across the screen as the tape labeled 'Jonah's Interview Tape #1' is placed inside. There is the date written at the top of the label in thin, cursive writing.

On screen, a man walks into an office with another following shortly behind. The first is tall and fairly well-built, with long thin fingers that brace the desk as he moves around it to sit on the professional side. His hair appears to be dark brown, in the glimpses that are caught of it, slicked back. There seems to be a visual error of some sort over his face, though it travels with him. A black mass, blocking off his upper face and sometimes head entirely. He seems relatively average, all things considered, even down to his suit and tie.

"Hello, Jonah. Take a seat."

The other man is smaller. The interviewee's shoulders tense at his name. It's a disheveled boy, much less than a man. His jacket has a name emblem blacked out- the name on it was not the interviewee's.

The first motions for the younger to sit. The desk has a CEO plaster, a computer, and quite a few papers around. Jonah leans back in his placed chair repeatedly, before resting on the ground quietly.

"I would have had an intern interview you, but due to the short notice it seems we don't have the time to prepare them. Would you like to begin immediately?"

"Um, yeah, sure man... sure, um." His voice sounds sick, almost. "Yeah. I'll start. How long is this... gonna take?"

"However long it takes." The CEO replies cryptically. He opens the drawer of his desk and takes out a clipboard and pen. "It'll depend on how much time you're willing to spend here. And how desperate you are to figure out what's going on with you. Will that be a problem?"

"Oookayyy," Jonah relents with an awkward, sheepish grin, hands now clasped together. "Uhm. Yeah, whatever, however long it takes, I'd just. Like to.. not feel like this." He laughs weakly. "Not a problem."

"Perfect. Let's begin." The CEO looks up. He might be smiling. It's hard to tell.

"Describe to me what's been going on. How exactly do you feel?"

Jonah takes a breath. "Um.. I don't know. I guess all this stuff kinda started after I got out of the MCPD a while back. It-it's a long story, I don't really wanna explain, but like. Just feels like I'm randomly sick off and on again. Like one time I was, like, so cold I should've been hypothermic, apparently, and other times I've just randomly passed out or felt like I was on fire, or forgotten big things.."

He trails off for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know. Just really random awful stuff and I don't know why. Now my voice feels like it's fuckin' doubling, can you imagine, dude? That's fuckin' wild. It's *weird,* honestly."

The camera shifts to the CEO lightly. Now his tag says something else. It's hard to read.

"There is no such thing as random. Everything has a reason. Regardless, you do not need to feel ashamed or afraid. Take a breath." He continues to write. "We'll figure this out. I believe that's what you're here for, yes? To find an answer?"

The words on the clipboard are hard to read from this angle, but they seem to be notes labeled under 'physical symptoms' and 'mental symptoms'.

"...Yeah.. yeah, that's what I came here for." Jonah takes another breath and leans back.

"Alright. Have you run into any alternates lately? Or anything that could have affected you shortly or around the time you got out of the MCPD?"

"Yeah. I mean I see alternates a lot, offhandedly in BPS stuff, but um.. this one... it's an alternate of my best friend, Evelin. She, uh." His laugh is very awkward. "She fucking kidnapped me. I stayed... 'til Thatcher found me, but yeah. It's been a whole thing."

"Perhaps this could have been a trigger." There is no shock or surprise evident in his voice, face unseen to check. He scribbles something. "When the mind is put under immense pressure for long enough, all it takes is one event to trigger a downfall. Both mental and oftentimes physical due to it. Could that have been what had happened to you?"

He writes a question mark beside the label 'human' beside Jonah's name. Then, he reached into a drawer. He pulls out… A bowl of candy. Like, for children. And sets in on the desk, closer to Jonah's side. An attempt to calm the other, perhaps.

"Um..." The younger man stares at the candy, for a moment, confused. Jonah hesitantly takes a random piece of candy from the bowl and eats it without a second thought, covering his mouth as he speaks. "I dunno, maybe. A lot has happened in the past few. Is that what happened when you're- what did y- triggered? Triggered, right."

CEO smiles. He seems almost... warmer after Jonah accepts the candy. As if it were a gift of some sort. Though, the malicious man seems unlikely to have done that.

"A trigger is merely something that sets another thing in motion. The events you have been experiencing could have all built up, you've finally hit a breaking point, and now you're beginning to spiral."

Jonah blinks. "Well I mean. Yeah, a lot happened, but..." He laughs again, but this time it sounds much more devoid than anything. "I'm *fine.* I don't think that I'm spiraling, that's a strong word, man-"

The CEO taps the pen against the desk.

"Unless you believe... something more is going on."

He's cut off by the CEO. He tenses his shoulders whenever the thought is suggested. "Whaddya mean? Like.. what? I-I'm fine, I don't think there's anything huge going on. Anymore."

"There are things in this world you may not understand... nor know about." CEO hums and taps at the bowl.

There is a brief moment of pause where he hums. Then, he leans and presses a button on the desk, besides a microphone. He leans into it.

"Dim the lights a bit please. They're abnormally bright." And so, they do. Quickly, the lights dim. The comment is odd. The CEO seems entirely unbothered by Jonah's emotion.

"Jonah, there is nothing to hide here. I do not care for your mental well being, so I will not coach you on it. As 'fine' as you think you are or aren't."

"Though, I am merely suggesting, perhaps, that there is something more than alternates and trauma messing with your state of being at the moment…"

"...I don't know." Jonah considers this for a moment, looking away. "Oh! Uhm, El- my friend- it mentioned something about a yellow person. Uhhh... forgot their name, but. Weird as hell. Everything I type just goes to yellow, so I thought that was weird, but I can't really think of anything else."

"Yes, our own observational subject has mentioned it as well. This is actually something I believe he would have some knowledge on..." The CEO hums.

He clicks his pen.

"Say, Jonah. Are you feeling particularly tired?"

The CEO taps his pen against the glass bowl. It makes a gentle clink that causes the camera to fuzz.

Jonah nods his head. "I mean, like, yeah, man. I haven't slept in... a while. I don't know. I just can't fall asleep anymore. I think it's because of all the shit always happening I don't wanna miss, but still. Fuckin' sucks."

The CEO smiles. The fog over his face lifts for a moment to show it. His mouth is a little too wide to be human. It curls a little too far upwards, teeth just barely too sharp to be friendly.

"I don't think you'll have that problem soon."

He smiles awkwardly. "Yeahhhh, sure.... that totally does not sound like the trailer of a horror movie."

He laughs brightly. "Oh, well, if the setting fits."

"Right... sure. Um, wearrr it.. no that doesn't work. Nevermind. Forget I said that." Jonah rubs at his eye. "I guess that something else could be going on. Hell, one of my best friends was like, in another universe. Weird shit. I swear Mandela County's just a... fuckfest now- shiit, is it bedtime or something? The bright lights were keepin' me awake."

"It is rather late." The CEO smiles thinly. "We're almost done with the interview and then you can... tap out."

"Does the environment affect the way you feel these sorts of effects?" The CEO moves on, but there's an odd tilt to his head. He's watching very closely. It's a waiting game for something.

"...I don't think I'll fall asleep, lowkey, just... tired. Damn." He yawns, covering his mouth as he does. "Yeah. I mean I'm more likely to fall asleep in a dark room than a bright one, that's just bedtime physics- why? Hey, why does that matter?"

He chuckles slowly. "I was referring to your problem, Jonah, not your exhaustion."

Still. He seems pleased. Amused, even."

"OH. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, dude. I hate the fact that everything's happening all the time. Lowkey freaks me out when everything's loud and yelling 'n out there, but yeah. I would just rather the environment be peaceful 'n whatnot, but... it's not. I don't think it ever will be, to be real with you."

The clink of the pen stops.

"There are always places that hold the absence of noise, if you'd prefer. The laboratories are a good example of that."

Jonah shrugs nonchalantly. All things considered in his posture and demeanor, he seems uncomfortable, but he has begun to slump against his will. Tired. "I guess... it is kinda quiet, but that's probably just the interview room or whatever, right?"

"Oh no. Our entire labs are fairly quiet. All the subjects are contained within their own rooms. Everything is sound proofed. Unlike this room, though, there is typically.... how do you, say; soothing music playing? Per the request of the interns. It'd be a fairly peaceful place, should you ever require to come back after this interview."

The CEO picks up his clipboard.

"Which, you will need to do. While this interview has been enlightening.... your symptoms need more than just a word by word evaluation, Jonah."

"I mean... wicked and all, but. What does that mean? What are you gonna have to do?" Jonah rubs his eye again but this time it lightly droops, daring to fall asleep on impact, but Jonah keeps himself awake.

"Examination." He hums. "Analyze you." The clipboard is put in the desk drawer.

"Analyze me??" He sounds taken aback, confused despite the fact that this was to be expected in a laboratory. "Okay, you know how Lab Rat that sounds, right? I'm sure you mean well but like hooly shiiit-"

He's interrupted again, his eyelid heavy.

"Don't worry about it just yet. Why don't you close your eyes for a moment? Take a breath."

"...I don't- okay?.." Skeptical, he crosses his arms on the table and leans his head on it to relax. Then, the exhaustion sparks, and Jonah finds it harder to keep his eyes open, trying to listen further.

"No worries. You don't need to be afraid. It's not experimentation. It's just analysis. Viewing, watching. Safe, gaining the answers you want. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

"...Sure, whatever..." Jonah mumbles tirelessly, eyes falling heavy. He tries to open them again, one more time, but he can't seem to stir past that. In a moment, his eyes close, and they do not open again. He's fallen unconscious.

The CEO grins wider. He turns towards the camera, upper face blocked from view. His mouth grows wider as he lifts a single finger in front of the grin. A signal for quiet.

"End recording."

And so, the tape cuts out.

End Video : Subject J-15-8-14-18, "Jonah Marshall."

Play Again?

#//entity speaking: the nightmare #//interest: jonah of the arc #rp #lore #[ what do we think gang :) ]

[valleyrunearchives]

Binary

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Fandom: Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Pairings: Aizawa Shouta/Yamada Hizashi Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Chapter 2/?

“Binary code is a series of zeroes and ones strung together in a specific sequence. On paper, it’s useless. Annoying. Worthless. But put that same string of zeroes and ones into a computer, and suddenly it’s a language far more complex than the human mind can comprehend. I was the same way. The world decided I wasn’t good enough in the physical plane, so I went digital. That’s why I chose the name Binary. And you should be very,” He smirks at the underground hero on the screen, “Very afraid of the reach I have here. Aizawa Shouta.”

Or

Midoriya Izuku is tired of the world treating him like nothing. So he decides to becoming a hacker to show the world that nothing can be anything.

Featuring Midoriya Izuku as the Genius Hacker Aizawa Shouta as the problem child wrangler Yamada Hizashi as the moral support to his husband Tsukauchi Naomasa as the man who needs a long vacation PLEASE Shinsou Hitoshi as the intentionally adopted one Toga Himiko as the unintentionally adopted one Dabi as the really didn’t want to be adopted one but he guesses this is his life now and Nedzu as the Rat God of UA

<=Previous | Next=>

Click here to Read on AO3!

Aizawa Shouta is having an average patrol night. Nothing too out of the ordinary has happened so far. He honestly thinks it’s going to go smoothly enough that he’ll be able to leave on time. Which is why he knows he jinxed himself when he walks into the police headquarters and Tsukauchi comes rushing up to him. That usually means a case but the amount of urgency lining the man’s face is certainly concerning. “We may have a problem,” is the first thing the detective says to him when he approaches. 

Oh fucking hell… Can’t he have just one night?

He sighs out deeply through his nose but obediently follows Tsukauchi to his office without complaint. As soon as the door closes, he asks, “What’s going on? Has something happened?”

The detective walks over to sit at his desk, a box sitting open on top of it, "This box was sitting outside of the front entrance last night after a freak power outage occurred that was about five blocks wide all around headquarters. The secretary on duty thought that maybe it had just been dropped by the postal service and kicked into the open by someone passing by in the sudden darkness, so she brought it in. It was addressed to me."

"Okay, and?" He prompts.

"The contents were… somewhat shocking," Tsukauchi holds out a piece of paper. He takes it and looks at the contents on it.

[Thought you could use this, detective. Try not to wait too long to follow up on it. I don't know how long it'll be before this info isn't valid anymore. Have fun! - With love, from Binary]

"Who's Binary?" He asks.

"Don't know. Never had any contact with them before this. That's not what concerns us, concerns me, though." He turns to his computer and types at the keys on the keyboard. He also clicks on something before continuing, "In the box along with the note was a flash drive. The content in the drive was especially interesting to us." The underground hero raises an eyebrow as Tsukauchi motions him around the desk. Aizawa rounds the desk, leaning against the top of it with one hand to look at the screen of the detective’s computer. His eyes slowly widened at the contents, "Is that-?"

"The Yamaguchi Brothers and their new syndicate? Yep. One of our tech guys verified that the videos and photos are legit and the flash drive it came on wasn't bugged or filled with viruses. It contains their hideout location with visible landmarks around plus coordinates, some photos of some of the crimes they've recently committed, and even photos of their cars license plates along with who owns them. There's also a list of identities and known quirks amongst the group as well as the best heroes to bring to apprehend them. This ‘Binary’ managed to solve one of our highest profile cases in the course of a night as well as put together a practically full proof plan to apprehend them."

"And all of it is legit? Every single piece? Nothing’s been tampered with at all?" When the detective hums an affirmative, Aizawa furrows his brows, "Well that's too convenient… anyone spotted after the box was left?"

"Nope. Just some kid waiting for his mom to pick him up after gymnastics class apparently. Secretary on duty said she felt bad for him because apparently his mom couldn't come get him and he had to walk alone in the dark. Said he was pretty freaked out about it but got embarrassed when he noticed her. Also," Tsukauchi reaches over and grabs something off his desk. He passes it to Aizawa, "We did a bit of digging and found that the power outage that occured? It was planned. Something pinged in the system at the same time that the power went out. It was gone by the time the power was back on."

"Sounds like a hacker then. So… Whoever Binary is, they found out information on one of our most dangerous criminal groups, planned a - however large wide five blocks is on either side of the station - power outage, and then, under the cover of that darkness, placed down a box of sensitive information addressed to you specifically so that the police would get it?" He reads over the report from the power company, noting that the foreign intrusion on the power grid was only there long enough to spot it but not track or trace. Binary wasn't just good at what they did, they were phenomenal at it. Probably had years of practice under their belt. 

Tsukauchi nods, "Seems like it. Can't confirm if it's a hacker with a quirk for it though. Could possibly be someone with an intelligence one that picked up hacking as a form of entertainment for themselves."

"Can't confirm anything at all until we can find an identity for them, right?"

"Correct. I was also questioning myself as to why me," the detective leans back in his chair.

"Why you? What do you mean?"

"Yeah well... Why address the box to me? Was there a reason? Is it random? Should we expect the MO of them to be that they'll always contact me somehow? Either via a box or otherwise? Or will it go to anyone in the station?" Tsukauchi questions. 

"And what other information will they be sending? Will it all be major crime group info like this or will info on petty crimes or even info on A list villains come through as well?" Aizawa adds, puzzle pieces appearing in his mind but none of them lining up with each other.

Tsukauchi grins up at him, "See, this is why I wanted to consult you and ask if you wanted this case! Do you want it by the way?" 

Aizawa sighs as if being put out, “Yeah, I’ll take it. I’m sure I can find out who they are eventually. Maybe get a meeting with them and talk them out of their hacker ways.”

“Thanks Eraser!” The grin then drops from his face into a frown, "What about what we do when we find who this is?"

"Don't know. Offer them a job as a tech analyst for the police?" Aizawa gestures to the monitor with his hand, "This is good info, after all. Especially for a freelance hacker."

"Haha…" The false laugh is accompanied by a deadpan stare. Tsukauchi sighs deeply before shrugging, "Guess we'll just have to wait and figure it out when we catch them. I don’t think a job will be an option though. I don’t know if jail time would be either though. Maybe just a fine for hacking into the power grid and traffic cameras? Oh well, I’d better get started on the Yamaguchi Brother’s arrest plan."

Tsukauchi turns back to his desk, picking up his phone to start coordinating the necessary heroes for the Yamaguchi Brothers’ case. Aizawa mentally catalogs all of the evidence about Binary that they've already collected. He’ll get a physical copy anyway but it’s good to commit it to memory in case he needs to recall it at any point while he’s investigating. He moves his gaze down to the note in his hand and he glares at Binary's name. They better watch out because Aizawa’s about to start hunting them down.

______________________________________________________________

Izuku lets out a snort as he comes awake suddenly, shooting up from where he was slouched against the coffee table. Goosebumps ripple all along his body. "What the fuck…" he mutters to himself, looking around for any kind of danger. His brows furrowed as he didn't see anything immediately around him that was wrong, "... Am I missing something? Did I forget to do something? … Did I forget to do my English essay that's due tomorrow?!"

He looks down and thinks. Then pouts to himself, "No wait. I did it back when it was first assigned at the beginning of the year… I even went three pages over the required limit…" He shrugs dismissively after thinking about it a bit more, "Eh what the hell ever. I'm going to actual bed this time." He stands up, grabbing his phone. 

"CATRA, get the lights please," he calls out in a yawn as he slinks into his room. The lights to the apartment cut off behind him with a small meow sounding after he closed the door to his bedroom.

#bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #hacker!izuku midoriya #izuku midoryia #aizawa shouta #naomasa tsukauchi

[oldgooddaysoldgooddays]

260

Instagram is plying my discover page with "get ready with me" videos of young women dressing for job interviews. None of us are good at being alone, but I can think of no sadder a plea than "get ready with me". Or is it a demand? I do like some of these outfits, but as David Sedaris once said of young people unanimously looking good, what they're mainly wearing is their beauty. I fantasise sometimes when I see a Kardashian or a woman begging me to get ready with her, and their white furniture and clothing, about what it might feel like not to know I'm going to get paint stains on 90% of what I touch. Clean living. What it's like to hug someone with abandon and not panic about soiling their jacket, about being a liability On Thursday night I enter the "fuck this guy" phase of being involved with R. All the pleasure of being generous, of massaging his ego and reassuring him back to equilibrium, turns to bitter rage. The pivot happens when he has me describe why I like him, his physicality, his persona. I think hard and carefully about every statement and whether it'll land correctly and flatteringly, and I elaborate when he asks. And what about me? I write. He says "you're my favourite". Says something about his work schedule, and that he is leaving the house for the first time that day. I believe this is one of the cornerstones of being female, the moment when you realise that even the B+ emotionally intelligent man will still give you crumbs in return for the loaf you present him with you just pulled out of the oven. You will pounce on the crumbs gratefully because the very thing that makes them pathetic (their rarity) is supposedly the reason you should take what you can get. You notice the lopsided exchange and your years of training to be accommodating kick in. You seethe, and if you're especially well-trained, you will later apologise for seething. R intuits my being pissed off in my read receipts, and makes it know he is cancelling his walk to fix it. He tries to call twice, and I watch his name hover on my screen while I play my guitar angrily. I have gone full teenager. I use both hands to flip off the phone. FUCK YOU, I mouth. It feels surprisingly good. Extremely good, in fact. R writes he's having a panic attack and I both believe him and take no pleasure in it, but also log that I am being lightly emotionally blackmailed. I wonder how he got so selfish in this moment, then realise I have spent the better part of 3 months catering that particular pity party. What right do I have suddenly despising it being all about him when I've made it all about him? It's like faking orgasm after orgasm and then complaining that your partner never made you come. Also texting never works as real communication. But when you're too pissed to pick up the phone, and the person you're pissed at is 3-4 timezones away, texting is all you've got. I remember telling C that R is a panicker, and asking "why can't he just dissociate like an adult????". This was for comedic effect. I'm also just not used to male anxiety, and how much space it takes up. V writes from Rio to say that M had a panic attack at carnival and it weighed heavily on her. They worked it out. I go to sleep too late in an effort to obey the "don't go to bed angry" rule. I know this rule was invented for people in couples, but as a seasoned loner I promise you it still applies

[pos4d951]

The Most Important Winning Poker Book - Your Journal

Why Have a Poker Journal?

Poker is a long-term game. It's really not that different from investing, except you can't have someone else do it for you. You have to make the money yourself. But you wouldn't invest without having a plan, keeping records, tracking results, analyzing new opportunities, and exploring new options. Right? The same is true of poker. Bad players (fish) never record anything. They never track anything. They don't make decisions today based on historic realities. They don't know the difference between playing the site they are on (or the table) and the other sites in the poker world. They just sit down, blind in, and start playing. Fish don't play poker for the long-term. They play for the Right Now! This hand! This moment! This session! If they win they are thrilled. If they lose they are depressed. They are… in a word… VICTIMS!

You strive to be more than that, obviously. However, many players who strive to be more miss out on the Most Powerful Tool poker has to offer - HISTORICAL REALITY. Historical reality is what HAPPENED. How it happened. Why it happened. Because, guess what… It'll happen login pos4d!

If you don't keep records then you can't learn as quickly as you should from your mistakes. Maybe you won't learn from them at all. Maybe you'll learn for a while and then forget about it again. Your poker journal is how you tap the most powerful poker tool that exists.

If you don't keep records then you miss out on the Most Powerful Tool poker has to offer - YOUR BRAINPOWER. Your brainpower is what is going to take you into the future. It's what's going to set the path for your future success or failure. Because… As a man thinketh… so is he! The Bible: Proverbs

You spend hours staring at a computer screen, playing hands, making reads, learning lessons (good and bad). You read articles and books, talk to other poker players, and observe others who are more skilled than you. Where does all this information go? It can't just go in your head. Your head is a horrible record keeper. It's manipulated by emotions, it has tons of non-poker work to do, and it tends to fail you at the worst times in poker. So, instead of relying on your head, rely on your poker journal. A poker journal never forgets. You should review it often. And the fact that you have recorded things, will prompt you to expand them and think about them more.

The how's and why's of keeping a poker journal.

Hopefully I've convinced you that a poker journal will really add value and results to your poker game. In essence the HOW is simple. Just start doing it! But, here are some things I've done for years with my poker journal. Hopefully you can use some of them.

While you can keep a poker journal electronically on your computer, I don't recommend it. And while any old spiral notebook will do, I would encourage you to get something more substantial. Your next time out, take a shopping trip for a journal. About electronic journals, think of it this way; how many computer files can you find from 3 years ago? Not many. How many pictures do you have from your childhood? Probably quite a few. Physical things are permanent, electronic files are easily lost, forgotten or damaged. So go for the physical thing.

I use a refillable leather journal cover I bought at Barnes and Noble. Here's why. Leather is good! It gives your thoughts importance and heft. Leather is permanent and comforting. When you write in this journal it draws you to become better. It's also refillable and it has a place to keep a couple pens. All of this is important for me because I need my journal to be ready to go and hold up to my lifestyle. I go through about 1 refill every 9 months or so and I obviously keep the old journals for reference. I carry my journal with me almost all the time, and I make notes in it often.

So, what do you write in your journal?

Write down whatever comes to mind. I use my journal for personal notes and goals as well as poker goals - to me they are one in the same; because, poker makes many aspects of my life possible and my life affects my poker. I start every journal with my life goals and concepts that help me succeed at whatever I'm doing. That way I know exactly where to go to get my mind right if I start to waver.

After that I just write whatever I think is important as it comes to mind. These include things like:

Starting Hand Charts

Poker Session, SnG, and MTT notes

Poker ideas I read in books, magazines and online

Summaries of what I think helps me accomplish my poker and life goals

Personal Improvement concepts and notes

Repetitive Sentences - This one is important.

Poker has a great ability to tie us up in knots when we have bad sessions or make mistakes. The best way to work out the negative energy that gets built up in times like this is to write a sentence 50-100 times. That helps me work out the negative emotions and refocus my efforts. Randomly opening my journal I see a couple pages of "I will follow my rules 100% when I play." That's from a few sessions of breaking my own good advice and playing like a fool.

So those are some ideas of what you could keep. I have notes about what poker articles I need to write, time management actions, and even questions I use to approach life in a positive way. It's all good!! Because the act of writing focuses the mind, it makes permanent many things that you would lose if you tried to remember them in your head; it clarifies; and it gives you something to look back on and see your achievements.

If you're interested in seeing inside my journal, here's a sample. Many of these things don't seem poker related, but they set the foundations for my poker success.

LIFE GOALS:

Time, Flexibility, Independence - I am an independent human being who has 100% control of my time and actions without financial restrictions or pressures.

Discipline, Desire, Control - I have the discipline and desire to control my own time and activities in a way that brings well-rounded fullness for me and for my family.

A Transforming Force - I am a positive force to transform those around me for a better and happier life.

Kaizen - I will improve and grow in large or small meaningful and positive ways in some aspect of my life every day until the day I die.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world" The Buddha

"Things do not change. We change." Henry David Thoreau

Problem Solving Questions: (from Anthony Robbins)

What is great about this problem?

What is not perfect yet?

What am I willing to DO to make it the way I want it?

What am I willing to no longer do to make it the way I want it?

How can I enjoy the process WHILE I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Those are just some snippets from my poker journal. Those don't say "poker", but for me they are vital to continued poker success. Many of my journal entries are the basis for chapters in this book, because they have turned into full articles on the topic in question.