#i just feel generally quite terrible but not in a way that makes me sad or want to cry.

[creampuffqueen]

I wanna hear more avatar headcanons! From the novels or just the avatars themselves! I loved reading your kavik and yangchen hcs 🥹🫶🏻

ahhh thank you!! i'm glad you like my random thoughts lol 🫶

here are a few more random thoughts i've been having that i just haven't quite made into posts yet (mostly yangvik because i love them but some other avatars as well):

yangchen is actually a terrible cook 💀 she's basically always had people taking care of her so she never really needed to learn! she can make a good cup of tea and that's about it. she regularly burns rice. she's also just generally bad at remembering to feed herself. kavik, who is a decent cook, is largely the only reason she remembers to eat

as for the other known avatars: kyoshi is by FAR the best cook. she's genuinely good at it. aang is a very close second. roku, kuruk, and wan are all average at it. korra has been banned from every kitchen in republic city

yangchen and kavik both strike me as people who really enjoy physical touch. they both really enjoy cuddling with each other, even before their relationship turns more romantic. acts of service is also a major love language for them

i also feel very strongly that they never used typical labels for their relationship. they usually referred to each other as their 'partner', occasionally 'lover', but most often just continued to use 'companion'. these vague labels frustrate scholars to no end, and today in the atla universe nobody can agree on the nature of their relationship. which is exactly how they wanted it lol, they were extremely private about their relationship

yangchen does have the iconic crooked smile that all the avatars share, but it only comes out when she's well and truly happy about something

her laugh is the same way. she has a very convincing fake laugh, as her real laugh is kind of 'ugly'. it's some kind of snorting, wheezing sound that kind of sounds like she's dying but is also absolutely adorable. yangchen hates it. kavik adores it, and will make an absolute fool of himself trying to hear it

yangchen is a massive, merciless flirt and takes great pleasure in seeing just how red she can make kavik's face turn. but on the rare occasion kavik gets enough confidence to flirt back, she turns into a total mess

pik and pak's favorite place to sleep is right on top of kavik's face

because of how hard she works herself, yangchen often falls asleep in the strangest places. if she's actually tired, she can fall asleep literally anywhere. it's simultaneously a superpower and a massive annoyance

a somewhat sad/bittersweet headcanon i have is that yangchen dies first. i've seen a lot of people saying that she lives to 150 but i can't find a source for that anywhere so i'm choosing to ignore it. yangchen has already watched too many loved ones die, she doesn't need to see kavik die before her as well. they both live very long lives, but kavik outlives her by a few years. after yangchen's death, he returns home to the northern water tribe

at one point, only a few months before his death, he is out for a walk when a little toddler wanders up to him all alone. he chats with him for a few minutes until the boy's parents find them and thank him for watching over their son. 'kuruk, what have we told you about wandering off like that?' the mother asks. the toddler waves goodbye, and kavik walks home feeling oddly contented. he never meets the boy again, and he dies well before kuruk is revealed as the avatar, but he feels a sense of peace from the interaction, knowing deep down that yangchen has made it safely back into the material world

when kavik dies, he wills his bone necklace to kuruk's family. they don't understand why until kuruk's sixteenth birthday. (SERIOUSLY THEIR NECKLACES LOOK ALMOST IDENTICAL ITS WILD)

that's all the thoughts i can scrape up off the top of my head, but i'm just generally thinking about avatar characters All The Time lmao. thank you for asking!!!

#notsosecrettunnel #atla #tlok #chronicles of the avatar #yangvik #yangchen x kavik #avatar yangchen #kavik #yangchen novels #avatar kuruk #atla headcanons

[blackwaxidol]

there is nothing new about my being in such a kind of pain that it makes me sick, i think it gets old to mention it.

#spent today in my room. #abject failure... i wanted to shower. #it is nobody's fault but my own that i am pathetic. #i don't even say that with contempt it is a neutral statement. #or it just feels that way to me. #i don't know. #forcing myself to front is just not working for me. #i am bored i am unable to find interest i am easily discouraged et cetera. #i don't know. i took my medication late because i woke up late because i couldn't sleep last night. #the pressure in my head is nauseating. #i don't want to eat. i just want to sleep. #i don't even want to sleep though. #it feels like every decision is wrong. #i don't know why i feel this way. i hate mindless back-and-forth indecision. #i am not panicked or scared. not in a way that changes my heartbeat at least. #internally i just seem to be frenzied. #i will feel better when i am no longer... i don't know. #i don't know what will make me feel better. #obligatory i am not going to kill myself or whatever. that would be stupid. #i just feel generally quite terrible but not in a way that makes me sad or want to cry. #or even able to identify the causes. #i feel like i am years younger and not in a good way. psychologically i seem to have returned to bedlam that i am no longer used to. #it makes me unhappy to feel like that. #other part asks what is bothering me. like we are not in the present day anymore. it is so awful. #''What is bothering you'' what year is it? are my emotions obfuscated to myself? what is this nightmare. #delete later. #complete drivel.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he likes my body?

TW for ED but please hear me out:

My bf (30m) and I (28f) have been together for a little over 5 years. When we got together I had an extremely stressful and physically demanding job. Shortly after our relationship started I relapsed with an eating disorder that had been a problem since prepubescence; I started restricting heavily at age 11 and had struggled with it on/off since then.

After quitting that terrible job and regaining some agency in my life, I spent a couple of years really focused on recovery. Without giving specific numbers (cause triggering) I'll say that I was extremely underweight to an unhealthy level for at least a year and experienced severe health complications because of it. I nearly died from heart problems and had a big wakeup call that caused me to change my whole life. I've done the work of recovery without medical help (history of omission with doctors) but have had support from my bf, and am currently at the highest weight of my life.

at a recent checkup my Dr talked a lot about "healthy lifestyle" and mentioned my weight gain over the past couple of years. I'm still within the "normal" range for my height and build, but the after visit summary/chart notes denoted risk of becoming overweight. Idk if my Dr would have brought it up if my history of ED was in my chart, (and I did switch primary care practices a few years ago, so they weren't treating me at my thinnest) but it still shook me a bit and I will admit to feeling very triggered.

The job I moved to is quite sedentary compared to the previous terrible one - I wfh, and very rarely have to be on my feet or do strenuous activity. In addition, I have chronic pain issues that make exercise difficult, and so historically have just restricted to maintain/lose weight because it's easier for me physically to just be hungry than to work out. I didn't want to go down that road again though because of how intense and scary it got last time.

My bf is a personal trainer and specializes in working with low ability clients and people recovering from long illness/injury. When I told him that I wanted to start exercising more often and get a good cardio routine going, he was really excited and started immediately putting together an "action plan" (what he calls it w his clients idk) for me. Then he mentioned how I'd need to add on a bunch of meal supplements and snacks to avoid losing weight and I got upset.

We're a plant-based (vegan) household and live with a roommate (bf's friend) so mostly eat/cook communal dinners and have various breakfast & lunch plans on hand, so we already eat pretty healthy and make sure to have a good balance of macro/micro in the meal plan. My intent was to eat the same but increase my activity level to get out of the danger zone without restricting. I don't generally snack and rarely eat dessert, just the 3 squares.

I told my bf that I needed to lose weight and be more active according to my doctor, and that I wasn't comfortable with having protein supplements, smoothies, and snacks in addition to regular meals because that would defeat the purpose. He got really sad and said that he likes the way my body is now, and while he supports being more active, he doesn't want the size of me to change. His exact words at some point were "you look so good now, I love the amount of you that there is and I like the way you jiggle." It kind of made me feel sick and wonder if he has like a secret size fetish or something?

So I've been thinking of breaking things off with him and moving in with a friend or back in with my parents, but idk if this is actually a red flag or just the disorder talking? He did help me a lot with recovery but if he's going to keep me from being healthy or wants me to gain even more weight then maybe it's better to leave - would this be an asshole move? I honestly don't know.

#aita #am i the asshole #eating disorder cw

[cherrymoon4]

hello ^^ ( thank you sososo much for the love on the other posts! send me requests if you want :P )

hiya!! <3333

honestly don't want to pressure you by requesting xxx

buttttt i love, love, love the way you write suguru xxx

so i'd be happy with anything with him <33333

whether it be a continuation of a similar dynamic with the curses aftertaste fic or something else entirely...

Roommate!Suguru would be so possessive and yummy.

Initially, when you first moved in the apartment, he didn't really care much about you. He knew you had a pretty face and were kinda shy, but that's all.

But as time went on and you opened yourself up to him, he began to get quite obsessed with you. He would be all over you as soon as he stepped foot in your apartment; and you would let him, after all he was just being friendly! right?

It didn't matter that anytime he would hug you from behind you would feel something hard pressing against the small of your back. It was probably just his phone in his pocket!

And you're sure that it's your mind doing tricks on you whenever you hear the bathroom door open while you take a shower. He would never ever spy on you, you were sure.

So when you come home from a terrible date, the first thing you do is rush over to him, your pretty eyes filled with tears, and throw yourself in his arms.

He was quite pissed off from the moment you told him you were going on a date. I mean, you have a perfectly good man at home! Why would you even consider seeing someone else?

Suguru always took good care of you. He always pampered and spoiled you, and every time you would think that he was just being generous.

I mean, he had a big reputation as a respectful and kind guy, especially among girls; his giving personality was what attracted them, his deep, soothing voice and his looks were a plus.

So obviously you thought he was just being his kind self when he took your teary eyed face in his hands and wrapped you up in his arms, engulfing your entire body as if protecting you.

But you couldn't deny the warmth in your belly as he whispered in your ear and rubbed your back, listening intently while you vented about how horrible your date was.

And the whole time he was just subtly smiling to himself, knowing that you would always come back to him; that even if you convinced yourself that you were just friends, deep down you knew that you were meant for him.

"It's not your fault, darling. He wouldn't be able to take care of you properly anyway, not like I do. But you know that, don't you baby? You know no one can compare to me, right?" he mumbled condescendingly, taking your puffy cheeks in his hands and tilting your head upwards to look at him in the eye.

God, you were so fucking precious. Especially like this, all pouty and teary-eyed, soft and pliant in his hands.

"Told you that you should've stayed home with your Sugu, but you just had to be a little brat and not listen to me, mh?"

And you know that if you had listened to him you wouldn't be in this position, you know that he's right.

So when his hands start to wander all over your body while he says that he "just wants to make ya feel better", you just nod and let him.

You don't know what you did to deserve him!

He's too kind, you think as his hands rub your waist and wander lower.

You think he's such a good friend when he pulls your panties down, his fingers rubbing your little clit to "make the sad go away".

And when your legs are over his shoulders, his cock nestled deep inside you and your tummy bulging, you think he's the best friend ever!

He smirks down at you, and he knows he's got you hooked when he sees your eyes crossing and your legs shaking.

"Look at you, already dumb on my cock. You love it, don't you baby? Yeah you do, f-fuck.." he plunges so hard in your little hole, biting his lip to stifle the moans coming out of his mouth.

He knows this is where you belong: your body pressed into the mattress, your pretty pussy stretching around his fat shaft, your wetness creating a pretty ring of cream coating the base of his cock, your pink nails (that he paid for) drawing red stripes across his back;

and maybe then he realizes that he's the one wrapped around your finger, when he fills your little cunt up to the brim with his hot cum, and a small part of him wishes that it takes. maybe then you would only think about him, you'll realize that he's all you truly need, and you for him <3

hiiii! thank u so much for the request (sorry for answering late) i don’t really love this but wtv! hope u do😚

#jjk #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jjk x you #smut #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto x y/n #geto x you #getou suguru x you #suguru geto smut #jujutsu geto #geto smut #getou suguru x reader #jjk geto #getou suguru x y/n #getou x reader #jjk getou #getou smut #jujutsu suguru #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru

[twig-tea]

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

---

The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

#gl series #gl recs #sapphic media #media recs #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #she makes my heart flutter #fragrance of the first flower #love greater than or equal to 70 degrees C #sleep with me the series #our relationship ended before it began #pearl next door #dear uranus #chasing sunsets #show me love #girlfriend project #lulu the series #welcome to the lesbian bar #gap the series #nevertheless the series #friend zone 2: dangerous area #six survivors #kamisama no ekohiiki #couple of mirrors #legend of yunze #led astray by love #lily fever #thank you for the ask! #ask game #long post

[comradekatara]

i don’t go into it explicitly in my essay so i may as well cite my armamentarium of examples here. please note that some of these examples will be pretty uncharitable towards zuko, but i figure that zuko’s actions receive enough (overly) charitable interpretations that he can stand to be criticized harshly from time to time.

when he said to aang “nice try avatar, but these little girls won’t save you,” he was being overtly infantilizing and dismissive to extremely capable girls his age in a way that emphasized their gender to diminish their capabilities. this is quite overtly misogynistic.

the way he treats katara in “the waterbending scroll” is pretty fucked up. i know that a lot of people find the way he seductively circles katara after tying her to a tree, threatening, and bribing her to be hot and even romantic, but in this scene, he is explicitly imitating ozai (we see him employ this same tactic of circling ominously with zuko in “the awakening”) to scare katara into submission. this is not only sexist in the sense that he is attempting sensuality to threaten a young girl (only a few years younger than him, but still, not great), but also just creepy and horrifying and bad in general.

“well aren’t you a big girl now?” is what he says to katara once she can finally hold her own against him in a fight. katara is only a few years younger than him, but he treats her like an incapable child, and uses that patronizing infantilisation to taunt her like he did with the kyoshi warriors. (and in fact, he continues to do so in book 3, but more on that later.)

zuko shouts “girls are crazy!” after azula manipulates him into falling into the fountain. i think this example is pretty negligible all things considered, seeing as a couple of girls did just deviously orchestrate a plot to humiliate him for kicks, but it’s at least equivalent to sokka saying “leave it to a girl to screw things up” to katara in terms of making unfair generalizations about an entire gender in the quest to insult your annoying little sister. but pretty much every sibling says something like this as a kid, so it’s pretty innocuous to me in the scheme of things.

on his date with jin, zuko remarks “you have quite an appetite for a girl.” this is obviously sexist, but it also makes me sad for what it reflects about the eating habits of every single woman he grew up around (compounded by the fact that they’re nobility and thus must adhere to strict gender roles as informed by class). i wonder if seeing jin eat was the first time he ever saw a girl actually enjoy her food.

zuko’s treatment of mai throughout all of book 3 is highly misogynistic. he expects her to coddle, comfort, and support him unconditionally while he never once considers her feelings, desires, or thoughts. i don’t even think zuko knows that mai is a human being (with a rich inner world of her own). at the beach, he behaves in a way that is controlling, jealous, volatile, and borderline abusive. he insults her, calling her dull and unfeeling; he polices the people she talks to; he feels entitled to her unconditional affection even when he treats her terribly. even when he gives her the conch shell, he asks “what? don’t girls like stuff like this?” which is incredibly patronizing and presumptuous. he demands that she act as his perfect mommygirlfriend, takes out all his frustrations and inner turmoil on her, is entirely thoughtless and inconsiderate when it comes to considering her feelings beyond giving her the most shallow, superficial gifts (and for a prince, giving someone cheap desserts and/or beach trash is not exactly a grand romantic gesture), and can’t even bring himself to break up with her face to face. mai does an incredible job of supporting zuko as best she can despite being incredibly unhappy herself and frustrated by his behavior, and somehow she is still framed by the fandom as being a bad girlfriend to zuko, when in fact the reverse is true.

zuko is also incredibly patronizing, dismissive, and downright cruel to ty lee. he basically calls her shallow, stupid, oblivious, and myopic, when of course this only betrays his own obtuse inability to read others, as ty lee is quite possibly the most perceptive, intuitive, socially clever, skilled, and brilliant character in the show. like many other characters in the show, including azula, zuko falls for ty lee’s bubbly ditz persona, and assumes that her hyperfeminine affect signifies her shallowness and stupidity. this undervaluing of femininity is of course not unique to zuko, and even the most feminist women are prone to make assumptions about people who present themselves in the way ty lee does (even katara says that ty lee doesn’t seem like a threat), which is of course also why ty lee deliberately presents herself in this way. she knows that she will be underestimated, which is all the more imperative to achieving her primary goal: survival. however, just because ty lee encourages this perception of her doesn’t mean that zuko is let off the hook for falling for it, or for being cruel to her.

while i don’t fault zuko for this as much as i do his treatment of mai, katara, or ty lee, his lack of generosity towards azula is a problem. obviously there are extenuating factors informing why he views azula as a rival. their fractured relationship is a tragic product of ozai’s abuse, and neither zuko nor azula is entirely at fault for how they view and treat the other. but zuko never makes any attempt to understand his sister or why she behaves the way she does, and never shows her the affection or concern azula shows him (in rare but nonetheless important moments), even after she has clearly undergone a nervous breakdown before their final agni kai. i know that zuko would view azula with hostility and suspicion no matter what, and a lot of it is of course deserved, but i cannot help but wonder whether his misogyny serves to reinforce his assumption of her that she is a manipulative, hysterical, dishonest harpy whose sole purpose in life is to make him miserable. lol

zuko constantly dismisses suki throughout “the boiling rock.” when sokka first points her out, zuko frowns at the notion that sokka is suddenly going to give a girl the attention he has, up until this point, been the only one receiving. of course suki does monopolize sokka’s attention, suddenly making zuko the third wheel where he was formerly a partner, but it’s hardly suki’s fault for being sokka’s girlfriend. he only barely apologizes for burning down suki’s village (which is probably the worst thing he ever did in the entire show, btw), and basically ignores her existence throughout the rest of the episode. in “the southern raiders” he refuses to read the room and barges into sokka’s tent despite sokka and suki clearly having a romantic evening planned. suki is perfectly nice and friendly to zuko despite having absolutely no reason to forgive the guy who burned down her village, but zuko is nonetheless dismissive of her as if she isn’t even there. which is rude, but also, kind of funny, so take this one with a grain of salt because it honestly makes me laugh??

ultimately, the way zuko treats katara, not only in book 1, but up until they become friends at the end of “the southern raiders,” is genuinely egregious. despite having that incredibly meaningful moment in the catacombs together, zuko doesn’t register it as significant in the way katara does, and cannot comprehend why katara would feel particularly, personally betrayed by him compared to the rest of the group. at the beginning of the episode, zuko pushes suki out of the way from falling rocks (dismissively) and then jumps directly onto katara and rolls her away from the rocks (patronizingly) as if she is some kind of baby whose legs don’t work. when katara is rightfully pissed off that a guy she hates has pressed himself directly on top of her and won’t get off, he scoffs and says “I’ll take that as a thank you” as if she is simply a truculent, ungrateful child. he later completely invalidates katara’s feelings, following her after she leaves the group, and yells at her for her audacity (because she is still not best friends with the guy who betrayed her trust and facilitated the near murder of her best friend), and barely seems to understand the source of her rage, assuming that she is displacing her anger towards her mother’s killer onto him instead of simply acknowledging the ways in which he has tangibly harmed her. he interrupts sokka during one of the only truly happy moments in his entire miserable life to ask him to rehash the most tragic, horrific day in his whole horrifically tragic life, and in this moment he reveals that he somehow does not even know katara’s name. until sokka refers to katara by name, zuko only refers to her as “your sister” (and at no point refers to her by name throughout the show until later in this scene), dismissing katara while simultaneously begging for her approval, which he admits he doesn’t even know why he craves, as if he doesn’t even respect her as a person but simply wants her approval because her totally valid anger towards him is just a pesky irritant he wants removed. he then imposes his own desire for revenge onto katara, not even realizing that his passionate fury is a product of his own personal feelings being displaced onto katara’s parallel situation (both their mothers were killed in their place as a sacrifice), and simply assumes that katara would benefit from going on a dangerous revenge quest with him. it is only once zuko realizes the sheer extent of katara’s power and empathizes intimately with her complex feelings of rage, grief, and guilt regarding her own mother that zuko comes to respect katara deeply, and from then on out their friendship is one of mutual respect, understanding, and a deep, prevailing love. but until the antepenultimate episode of the entire show (assuming that the four parter finale counts as just one episode), zuko constantly infantilizes, patronizes, dismisses, belittles, ignores, and trivializes katara.

“zuko has no frame of reference for sexism” his uncle literally sexually harassed (and possibly even assaulted depending on how you define it) a female employee on the job (june in “bato of the water tribe,” if you’re wondering). yes zuko is rightfully appalled by that, but mostly because his uncle is displaying desire for a far younger, hotter woman, and zuko finds all displays of iroh’s desire disgusting. to say he’s in no way familiar with patriarchal logic and the mistreatment of women in society is just plain absurd, when not only do we see him mistreat women, but we also witness him witness other men mistreat women—in particular, a man whom he admires and strives to emulate in all aspects of his life.

and finally, while this point is fairly obvious, the question “how is zuko sexist?” is just patently ridiculous for the simple fact that he was raised in an extremely patriarchal society and internalized rigid roles and hierarchies of class, race, and gender. so like, even if we didn’t have manifold examples of him behaving misogynistically in various ways across the show, he’d nonetheless be sexist because of course he is. like, real talk, what do you guys think sexism even is if not being informed by patriarchy and its assumptions? answer quickly

#katuko shippers are gonna come for my throat rn i know this….. #whatever . it needed to be said -_- #id in alt text #itdoesntmatter-21 #asks #not really but like. tagging it anyway #analysis #zuko #katara #suki #ty lee #mai #azula #jin #iroh #june #sokka #katara&zuko #tylee&zuko #suki&zuko #iroh&zuko #azula&zuko #and of course #mai&zuko #society if zuko realized that he was gay BEFORE dating mai so she didn’t have to put up with all of that 😭😭😭😭😭 #the way he treats suki is deeply unjust ofc but also just kind of funny to me im sorry #he’s so mad her for being sokka’s gf he’s like why CANT I BE SOKKAS GF???? HUH?????? #just goes to show that homos aren’t exempt from misogyny #hence why he is the saionji of atla. btw #(does that make mai anthy? i accept this tbh)

[lbcreations-blog]

Husker, Charlie, and angel (seperate) with a teen reader who’s often found hanging around the hotel, not because they’re a sinner looking to rehabilitate (they’re hellborn) but just cuz they’re bored and want some entertainment. Overtime husker, Charlie and angel have become older familial figures and really close to reader. So what if reader comes to them one day and admits the real reason they’re always at the hotel is bc they’re being sexually abused at home? Sorry if you don’t feel comfortable with this, I’m honestly feeling a but uncomfortable requesting it but the comfort is much needed

If ya don’t wanna write this it’s ok just let me know pls

Auther note to requester: Of course, I'll write this, I also need comfort on this stuff, so yea. I had a bit of a writers block, and this is also not my best work, which I apologize for. Plus, I apologize for this coming out so late.

I have no idea why husks section is so short😭

All plotonic

Gn reader

The reader is shorter than Angel and Charlie and the same height as husk, btw

TW: slight descriptions of injuries and mentions of signs of struggle

Masterlist

No one should hurt someone like this

You loved hanging around at the hotel. You enjoying the chaos of the residents

You were there basically every day

You got very close to the bartender at the hotel

Husk was like an acutel father to you

He would always talk to you. Sometimes, he would show you magic tricks, and you loved it

One day, you seemed so sad

So Husk decided to wait until everyone's out of the lobby and ask what's up

Once, you had the courage to tell him he got angry at the ones who were supposed to raise you and nurture you.

But before he would do anything to the ones at your so-called 'home' he would comfort you

It might be a bit awkward, but he would do his best

He might even ask Charlie to let you stay at the hotel as an official resident

After comforting you, he would wait for the day he beats the ones who hurt you assess

Charlie was confused as to why you would hang around at the hotel for you being hellborn like her

But she let you stay thinking that even you, a hellborn, was supporting her hotel

After a while of being at the hotel, you and Charlie bonded quite nicely

She was like a super cool, bubbly, older sister to you

Compared to basically everyone in hell, you generally vibed with her, for some reason

Now, one day, you just weren't at the hotel

And then the next day

And the one after that

Now Charlie was worried, so she got the forms that tells where everybody lives and makes her way over to your adobe

Charlie walked up to your door and knocked the knocker three times.

No answer

After waiting for two minutes, she knocked three times once again.

Again no answer

She knocked with the knocker against the door one more time, but to no avail.

No answer

Charlie knew you were in your house she could sense your aroa, and your aroa felt hurt, so she knew she knew that had to do one thing and one thing only.

Go into your house without your permission.

She had to go in to make sure you were ok. So she tried to go into your house. But the door was locked. So she unlocked the door with her powers and stepped inside, and goodness, the place looks terrible. The couch was flipped in the lounge, and other signs off struggle was obvious.

Charlie walked around the house carefully in case someone else was lurking in the house. After a while, she found herself in front of a door with your name on it. This was definitely your room. She opened your door with caution, and...

There was you.

On the floor.

Sitting there with your hands covering your face.

There were bruises on your body, and you were quietly sobbing.

Charlie gasped upon the sight that was displayed in front of her. You looked up at her. You looked, so... terrified. And Charlie hated it so much. She quickly rushed to your side and softly hugged you so as not to hurt you more.

"Hey, hey," Charlie said in a soft voice. "Are you badly hurt? And do you know who hurt you?"

"I-" you sobbed softly.

"Hey. Hey, it's OK, it's OK, take your time," Charlie told you in the most comforting voice she could muster.

"The, ones I live with, did this to me" you told her in between sniffles.

Charlie was angered on this fact but stayed with you and tried to keep her calm. All she knew was that she would make sure those assholes would be dealt with, biological or not, no one hurts her younger sibling.

Angel Dust, the porn star

A tricky fella per-say

How did you become friends? It's hard to say

But for me and everyone else, you are like 12 - 14 in his version, and since you are oh so young, he doesn't talk about that stuff around you, like he might cuse but that's cause everyone does that

Anyway, now you both are pretty close, maybe you both like to dress up to together or smthn

After a while, you kinda start feeling like Angel is your older brother like yall have so much fun together

So since you veiw him as such, you felt as if you should share something you think he'll know about, even though it's supposed to be a secret

You softly knocked on Angel's bedroom door. "Hey Angel, it's me, Y/N," the door opened to show Angel. "Oh Heya kid, how'ya been?" Angel asked you. "Oh, ok, I guess... hey, uhm, I wanna talk to you in your room." You told the sinner with an uncomfortable face.

"Uh, alright com'n in kid," he said, moving out of the way off the door. You both sat down on his couch. "So what's been troubling, you kid?" Angel asked you. "Uhm, well, I'll just show you." You said as you brought your turtleneck down. Once Angel realized what he was seeing, he was shocked, angry, and just sad.

There was a hikey on your neck. "Uhm, Angel, do you know what this is?" You asked him, but instead of getting a response back.

You got a hug.

A very nice and warm one.

Sooner or later, Angel was gonna kill those basstards that hurt you.

Taglist: @fatherlesschild2 @whitewingsh @iheartpieck @i-yuki @ilovemyths2003 @im-so-tired52 @yuuandtheghost

Taglist request section

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust hazbin hotel #angel dust #angel dust x reader #plotonic angel dust x reader #angel dust x reader plotonic #charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #charlie x reader #plotonic charlie x reader #charlie x reader plotonic #husk #husk hazbin hotel #husk x reader #husk x reader plotonic #plotonic husk x reader #x reader

[magmythedevil]

TW: mention of grooming & sexual assault Please dont read If this topic makes your uncomfortable

Quite of a long test ahead. Sorry

Listen, i dont want to sound rude or anything, but everytime someone on the murder drone fandom (twt specifically) gets outed as a groomer, sexual predator, or Just someone who has caused harm to other people in general MD fans on twitter always turn these types of situation into a:

"LMFAO murder drone fandom suck ass!! I hate you all!!!!!! im out of here for real!!!!!"

"i love murder drones But i hate this fandom"

And ...no... Please....dont.

I know these guys are all just teenegers just like me and may or not may have good intentions when they say this, But i have an awful truth about to say about these situations;

Those groomers and sexual predators are not on the fandom bc they are interested on the show and just happen to be groomers just because. They are on the fandom bc they know murder drones Its the type of show that attracts vulnerable teenegers and kids

Stop making these type of situations into a fandom thing, bc Its something serious. These groomers are not genuine fans of the show (most of the time) theyre here to make victims

And yes, these groomers are capable o spending months building their murder drones fandom accounts just to befriends the minors on the fandom, even If theyre not even acctually interested on the show.

Im tired of seeing groomers in the fandom getting outed and then some minutes after some corny;

"lmfao, in out here, im just gonna be a normal account now lolll"

"muted all the words related to murder drones <33333"

"wait??? Thad the cool guy is a groomer??? Cant this fandom be normal for once???"

tweets pop up taking the focus away from the real problem.

Some predators using the show to make their victims doesn't automatically turns the fandom into "an awful place full of disgusting people" and its because of that generalization that these events keep repeating themselfs.

Theres some assholes and toxic people on the fandom? Yes totally. I saw toxic envy shippers trying to turn nuzi into a """pedo coded"""" ship in real time.

But, this is difference, a groomer disguising themselfs as a fandom member is not a fandom problem or drama, and doesn't automatically makes the an entire group of people bad.

If the fandom knew how to handle these types of situations Instead of making;

"block this disgusting murder drones fan!!!!!!! Loll im so tired of this fandom, in out"

posts, people should make;

"therese another predator out there, Please everyone be carefull and block all of their accounts and i feel so sorry for all the victims"

(they do make these posts, but get quickly overshadowed by the fandom focused corny ones)

Things would be so much better.

Remember the murder drones strike thing? The fandom could make a campaingh similiar to that but focused on spreading awareness about predators that use murder drones to attract kids. Its a sad truth, But only facing reality is a way to make things better

Maybe that happens bc MD is the first fandom these people have ever been at, so they don't know how to react to these type of things but trust me i have seen fandoms that are much worst who have had terrible things happening out there.

Anyways, this is all i had to say, sorry if Its kinda confusing, english is not my first language, but i hope i made a clear point here a least

#murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones uzi #liam vickers animation

[maliciousalice]

@thresholdbb omg tumblr ate your ask but thankyou for asking!!!!

👕Character whose fashion you like.

Phoar! Startrek really isn't a show I associate with being fashionable. It's very camp isn't it? In theory a lot of the wardrobe is really cool and they wanted to gain that retro-future aesthetic. Did it work? I'm not sure. However it does make a statement. The Startrek aesthetic is really recognizable and that's important! I think that's where modern trek kind of looses the plot. It's not as careful about the unique visual design as a whole anymore and as a result it doesn't settle in our minds. Is it bad artistry? No but it's not as stringent. What I mean by that is older trek cared about nuance. For example every haircut was done the same way on men, or suits were tailored in a way to look sleek but practical (they weren't). Gaudy patterns were important to denote things like status. It looks ugly on the outside but when you're watching the show it envelops you and makes you feel welcomed into the universe.

I digress.

To answer this, the most fashionable character, hands down, is Quark! That mfer always looks good, and has the finest drip in the galaxy. Love that.

🥲 ST moment that makes you cry.

There are two moments that make me particularly sad. Kate's acting in the climax of Resistance is incredible. I read somewhere she had a special-wink-wink- relationship with the Director in the early seasons and she was being tested by this episode in some regard. I think it paid off. I treasure any time her captain-hood is removed, and the extreme vulnerability of Janeway is on display-MWAH MWAH poignant. This episode is beautifully intimate, particularly this scene. It's overall gorgeous and unique in how she whispers to him, as if there is nothing more important than to secure his peace of mind as he dies, and it's heart rending when it ends with her just crouching there, emotionally alone. I love how Janeway is forced into the father-daughter dynamic between her and Caylem, one that she would ordinarily resist (heh themes) because I think it inherently weakens her status. The back and forth throughout the episode of them taking care of each other's welfare is so it's terribly sad when it's torn down and we discover the truth behind Caylem's family. If you've dug around her character you know that her Admiral-Father has had impact on her life. She's haunted by him in both a figurative way by being a Captain, and literal sense later on in Coda. Much like Caylem, she looses her father in a violent manner that she has to carry around while she forges ahead. It also reflects well on Kate's relationship with her actual father, she recently revealed that she was never able to get him on her page, but in spite that she adore him with all her might. So a scene like this is really revealing-I believe she was able to draw upon those feelings and that's kinda neat to be so raw as an actor. SIGH.

This one just straight up made me cry fr because Prodigy s1 is a really mature, well done piece of (Startrek) media. Holo Janeway has an irony about it where in the end she is program designed to be a teacher, and she didn't expect to develop a strong bond with the crew. Her final moments are of displaying a huge amount of selflessness and courage to help the kids get out of trouble, similarly to how Janeway would approach dire circumstances. The music swelling and the ship activating is just OOOOF!!! I love how it parallels Dal's initiation of the first Protojump in a Moral Star. By that means It suggests how proud she is to get to do this for them. As a character she is really interesting to think about, in a way I can't entirely articulate. A lot of her moments are quite sad in general, she has to keep an active role so she isn't ignored, and help where help is needed, but at the same time she has constraints, one being that she manipulated by the antagonists. And In contrast to that, the kids do their best to help her feel like she is important and more than a command program to be used insincerely. She grew to love the Protostar crew, that's evident in her body language in this scene. She has a lot of depth overall. Equal to the real Janeway she deeply feels love, guilt and pain, but importantly she is transformed by the her time on the Protostar and while active, learns and grows with Dal, Rok-tak, Zero, Jankom and Gwyn. It's REALLY sweet that they care all care about each other.

I love her and I love JANEWAY!!!!

🥹 Favourite behind the scenes picture.

Ooooh I love all behind the scenes stuff. My brother in Christ It's super difficult to just name one thing and I'm very greedy!! I wish we had more BTS content for Voyager but sadly, it's a matter of grab what you can, however you can. Anyway, I have an inherent interest in seeing the cogs behind the wheel. I chose these samples because I think they're charming.

The continuity polaroid's are so fun and a lost technique, I like to think about assistants having to pull the actors aside and asking them to take those. How daunting! Kate's grin in the one where she is offset is SO cute. So she must have been in a good mood, super Cheeky!

Following that is a screenshot from a video of her having her makeup done. A rare catch. I like this because she often sooks about how much time hair and makeup was spent on her to become Captain Janeway. I get it's a huge time-sink, but love or hate it, the full irony is that her early season appearance is really iconic and in it's own right adds to Captain Janeway's sensibility. Silly goose Kate! Besides that, she looks hot checking herself out, haha.

Moreover, I love on-set editorial photos of actors in costume. While we did have heaps of them in the Starfleet uniform, I wish we had a larger collection with clearer releases, it would have given an opportunity to see in things of interest better detail. Particularly the lower half of unique costumes. For whatever reason special outfits weren't often established or framed for us to see the legs in the show, so a nice big photograph would have solved that. Also I love that these style of pictures capture an impression of an episode without giving it away.

Similarly, fly on the wall on-set photos are cool. They're way more intimate and candid than anything else and it makes me feel as though I am spying on the actors, but they're also a good way to document how things might have been on set.

The Timeless one is interesting too because it's of a deleted scene, we never see Chakotay look at a dead Janeway (how deliciously macabre!), but at some point in time it was in the script and they filmed it.

Hmm this bts picture of Janeway in the Cardigan is adorable! I believe it was worn by Kate for a Charity but look how cute she looks? Makes me wish we saw her mess around with things like that more because 7 Years is a long ass time to be in uniform everyday ( coming from someone who went to school in a Uniform and enjoyed it for the most part). Casual Fridays anyone?

I love this gif. It's from the first shoots of Caretaker and Kate looks so radiant! Her smile is is breathtaking! Whenever I see this gif I get a sense of delight. Poor thing had no idea what she was getting herself into, haha. Really though, check out the original Caretaker photos, they're super-cool. The history behind it is fascinating; I'd love to see more footage from that version of the pilot episode. Unfortunately, it's probably not preserved well, much like lots of Paramount's historical material.

On a similar trend, it's fun to see this set of pictures too. It's for the First Contact film / maybe the Universal studios ride, when she reprised her role as Vice AdmiralJaneway. Kate was genuinely delighted to do this cameo and it shows. As per her operandum she put her whole self into this small segment and that's so darling. It makes me wish we had more of this Janeway at that point in time. I love post Endgame chubby-Janeway. In a fictional sense it denotes that she is comfortable or stressed to be an Admiral (sadly it's the latter in real life) or whatever and I love that for her.

These kind of pictures are fun because it's been said that at times it was the most playful set to be on. There are tales that the cast were not that serious all the time. You get that impression here, and it's probably why the majority of them are still good friends to this day. They're like a family bros!!! Having worked in media I know that wrapping up after working on something for a long time is really rewarding and I bet they had a good time at parties.

Apropos previous, the opposite can be said. While they had fun, the hours were long and the scripts intensive. Kate was around for all of the episodes of Voyager in one way or another, and still managed to bring her A-game each time. She is truly admirable! Seeing her so exhausted is charming. She had a lot of weight to carry for the franchise and did an exemplary job performing her way through 7 years of weird and wonderful material. I wonder how often they fell asleep on set? I know I would. Get some rest queen!

Finally, I've been following Prodigy bts as best I can, and because of my career in animation I get pretty interested in Production art. I love seeing the fast metamorphosis of a visual style. It's really impressive how much attention they applied to the designs, maintaining the older stuff, while adapting a new frontier. One of the lead artists made some pretty neat observations to get Kate's appearance right. It's so cool that they documented that journey, because from my dabbling I know she has a very beautiful, distinct face that isn't easy to capture.

ANYWAY Thankyou for reading my fat thesis fellas. tl;dr i love this stinky Startrek Voyager and by extension the franchise.

#I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS WALL OF TEXT I HAVE A LOT TO SAY AND I THINK ABOUT THIS DARN SHOW A LOT #also my bad it's mostly voyager but it's my true love #hope you can make sense of this I'm fairly illiterate and writing is so hard for me lol that's why i write more than is probably necessary #i like the other trek shows but this one is something special if you know what i mean #appreciate you if you read all this MWAH MWAH #thankyou for the ask thresholdbb ily!!! #Thresholdbb #Kathryn Janeway #janeway #star trek voyager #star trek prodigy #st:voy #kate mulgrew #no sources for this you just gotta trust im a big fat expert :^) #i really need an editor my dyslexic-a jumbles up and forgets words when i write its so embarassing #i have a pretty large collection of pictures now but i could always use more #i also should probably save videos where i can because they get buried / removed from the internet

[eazriez]

Fionna and Cake Final Episode Thoughts

Or Alternatively, How A Series Full of Women Managed To Fumble A Story In a Misogynistic Way

Hello everyone, I just got done watching the last few episodes of Fionna and Cake. I haven’t had a chance to rewatch the final 2 episodes out of pure shock, but I have reanalyzed every other episode and have discussed + concluded how/why the finale flopped in the way it did.

Do not get me wrong, I enjoyed a bits and pieces of Fionna and Cake and this is by no means a hate post. But as someone who grew up as an avid fan of both Betty and Simon’s story, I was left unsatisfied by their conclusion. It wasn’t necessarily because they went their separate ways in the end or anything of that nature.

Instead this post will attempt to address the contrasting facets of their relationship in the original series v. Fionna and Cake, the implications of their writing, and how narratively it does not fit in with the rest of the characters or the narrative as a whole. I ask that this is read with nuance + through the perspective as someone who has presented as feminine throughout their life and consider why this story misinterpreted woman characters as a whole.

In addition, I also want to articulate how this series misrepresented Simon as both a character, and how this misinterpretation perpetuates toxic behavior in men across society.

Also, it’s 5 am and I am extremely tired, so I apologize if I gloss over some other things! Feel free to add your own thoughts.

Foremost, the first thing I want to address is how Fionna acts in relation to Simon throughout the beginning of Fionna and Cake.

In many instances, she is shown to be quite apathetic towards Simon’s situation.

Granted, she doesn’t know him. Her first impressions of him are…do not showcase his best qualities either.

Which is fine! It’s quite obvious that it would make narratively more sense for Fionna to feel more empathetic towards Simon as they proceed on their journey together.

Most notably, this line right here foreshadowns the most character growth.

Except…the contrast of this point falls flat in comparison to the tons of other terrible things that Ice King has done as a character.

He

1. Has comparatively more depressive/manic episodes than this

2. Acts comparatively more selfish AND dangerous at other points throughout the series

3. Was a genuine threat to others at one point, especially women

Although the attempt to frame Ice King’s delirious breakdown as the catalyst to Fionna’s sympathy tried to play…

the writers missed an incredible opportunity to showcase just how bad Simon could be as Ice King. Instead.

Instead, it frames him as embarrassing at most.

I’m not a huge Fionna fan by any means, but I think she would have had way more emotional depth if she had been showcased really empathizing with Simon when he was at his worst. It would have made 1. Their relationship more meaningful 2. It would have been nice to see her reflect on how poorly she treated Simon at the beginning of the series. There was a lot of room for emotional growth there.

Which brings me to another point.

I know that as a fandom the general consensus is that Simon is a sad wet cat, and many people hc him as anything other than cishet. But ultimately at the end of the day the writers are trying to portray him as a cisgender heterosexual male.

Which is a big issue when it comes to both him and Betty’s relationship throughout the series.

It’s important to note here: Within the original series, it is well established that Simon is an incredibly selfless man who is equally passionate and obsessed with Betty. Enough to create a time portal see her again, enough to capture princesses as a manifestation of his love for her.

Yet…

Their relationship is framed in such a way that contradicts any of these established traits of their characters.

Simon is incredibly selfish towards Betty. Not only in his actions, but in his words. Which is INCREDIBLY contradicting to his character, as he is shown to be quite selfless throughout the series.

Not only this, but they are BOTH incredibly dismissive throughout the finale!

Why isn’t Betty allowed to get angry at Simon? She not only gave up her life for him, but her agency as well. Not only this! But she infantilized the fuck out of him! She had to literally place him in the shoes of a child for him to understand how much she devoted herself for him.

And this is not her fault as a character! This is a deliberate choice by writers! They chose to write her character this way.

Also despite the fact that Simon is just as passionate as Betty throughout the original series, she is somehow framed as the obsessive one. Even though Simon’s obsession with Betty LITERALLY MANIFESTED IN HIM CAPTURING AND TRYING TO MARRY WOMEN.

And of course the implications of these scenes also makes the exchange between Winter King and Simon about Betty even more fucked up!

The fact that that line about Betty being the “dead one” was never fleshed out sort of implies that the writers only seen Betty as a way to propel Simon’s character development forward.

And it’s done in the most lukewarm way possible. The way that this series was building up, the fact that Betty sacrificed everything, it would have made sense for her to be pissed.

Instead she just lets him go.

And this wouldn’t make me so angry. Except….

Gary sacrificed his entire career to support Marshall. And this is framed in a positive light.

But when a woman does the same exact thing she is punished for it…

It’s not fair.

Now that we’ve established this can we stop pretending that it’s okay for male characters in fiction to get away with acting like children? I’ve said this before, but Simon’s development throughout Fionna and Cake feels on par with Adam Sandler’s Click. Except, to quote @tezzaa “Click actually made me cry”.

Which is incredibly sad, because I love Simon as a character. But it’s clear to me that Simon was not written with an ounce of nuance towards women, even though the majority of the cast is largely female.

It’s sad to see what has been done to this character.

Anyways. Those are my thoughts. I’m sorry if you disagree. I don’t want to debate this, I just wanted to point out how these characters are treated from a feminist’s standpoint. Thank you.

edit: i want to note that i do realize that betty and simon are toxic as a couple, i just don’t think that their writing reflected their toxic tendencies in an accurate way in accordance with their characters

#fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #adventure time

[dearest-kibble]

Atlas

A part one (the second is in the works and I'm going insane because i have a lotta ideas) Read on A03 here!

Tw: Stalking, (kind of?) suggestive content, general yandere-ness. It is slow to get to but very much there. Kinda goes from 1-100. Miguel is so sane he swears. I'm back to my dialogue loving ways. (If you think I've forgotten any tags please let me know!)

“Are — Are you okay?” There is a man bleeding in the alley behind your apartment. Profusely might you add. He doesn’t speak, just grunts at you and you notice — Spider-man. That’s Spider-man. He’s bleeding out in the alley. Without a single other thought you make your way towards him and rid yourself of your jacket. Spiderman cocks his head at you. “It’s not much. I know-” You tie it as tightly as you can around the wound. “But until I can get something better-” He shakes his head. “No?” He coughs. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes.” He painfully rasps and starts to push himself off the damp pavement. Immediately your hands are outstretched and willing to help support. A large shaky hand takes them and you try your best to pull him gently from the ground.

He doesn’t offer any thanks as he staggers out of the alleyway, just a small nod but you feel compelled - “Thank you Spider-Man.” You think he turns at that.

———————————-

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

“What, had a good night?” You don't have to look to see Phil's stupid smug face.

“Interesting night maybe.” You were still tired, worried and a little high on meeting Spider-man.

“Now what’s that supposed to mean?” You love your co-worker, he's nice. Really truly he is. But what you wouldn't do to give him a good punch.

“I had an interesting night, take it as you will.” No way in hell you're ever telling him about Spider-Man.

“So you totally fu-” You've never been more relieved for a potential rush.

“Hello! We’ve got a menu on the wall above the counter whenever you’re ready to order just let one of us up here know!” You turn around to smile at your customer only to realize you have to look up. And up and up, until you finally meet his gaze. His eyes meet yours and he quickly turns his gaze up towards the menu.

“Just let us know whenever you’re ready to order.” Your co-worker tacks on. He stands with posture that cannot be comfortable, not speaking a word. He’s the only customer and both you and your coworker share a glance. He has this undeniably defeated look in his eye, but he still stands tall - as if he’s forced to.

“-ato.” He finally mumbles

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t quite hear that.” You give him a smile as best you can and wait while he just… stands there,

“I said macchiato.” It is then that he stares you down. You can see so much so clearly. His piercing brown eyes, you’d thought they were defeated before but maybe that was just the bags around them. Now that he’s looking at you he seems… much less sad. Though placing that emotion is not something you’re up to the challenge of. They seem to lighten a little as he asks, “Are you going to ring me up?” He speaks flatly, not a single hint of inflection and his teeth seem to glint in the light strangely. Briefly you wonder if maybe it’s some sort of body modification that he got, you don’t see a terrible amount of fangs. He clears his throat and suddenly you realize you’ve just been standing there.

“Oh gosh - yes yes. Let me just-” You move to the POS “Right over here!” You chirp. “One final question, do you mean a traditional macchiato? Or one of the Stellarbucks ones?” He huffs a small chuckle from his nose and his lips twitch upwards, not quite into a smile but a ghost of one.

“Those aren’t macchiatos. Traditional.” You should've figured, he seems like a straight espresso, black coffee kinda guy.

“Alright we’ll bring it out when it’s ready.” He goes to sit in the corner, away from any windows and from a bag pulls a computer.

“Did he tip?” A whisper as your co-worker grabs one of the macchiato cups from atop the espresso machine.

“Don’t think so.” You whisper back.

“Asshole.” You can’t help but giggle a little.

“Oh c'mon, he doesn’t seem completely awful, He just seems a little awkward is all.”

“You’re just saying that cause you think he’s hot.”

“Where do you get your ideas? First it’s my ‘fun night’ and then it’s this.”

“And where do you find the time to flirt so much?” Phil smirks.

“I absolutely was not flirting.” You make sure to say it with authority.

“I mean he is hot.” Phil says this rather loudly, and gives you the shittiest grin to ever eat. “You seemed to be staring at him.”

“Eye contact is common courtesy!!” You hiss.

“And his macchiato is done and I’m not dealing with him, go get him, lovebird.” You roll your eyes and take a doily and the cup. You make it quickly to his seat where he is comically large compared to the table and chair. He’s spilling over the edges of his seat and his arms are so large they take up what little space his computer doesn’t.

“Alright, I’ve got your traditional macchiato, let me just…” You look for a spot to place it, and find nothing with everything on his table. “I don’t want to throw a wrench in your work. Where would you like for me to place it?”

“Here is fine.” He shifts awkwardly, shoving his arm to his side so you have space. He watches you place the doily first and as you gently set down his cup. Before you can turn and tell him to “enjoy!” he exhales and mumbles softly, “You’re good at your job. No one knows what a real macchiato is these days.”

“Thank you.” You say politely. “We serve both, enjoy!”

“Can I ask your name?” You turn, just to see his eyes on you, a little softer, just as sunken and he’s got that same smile, almost knowing. He takes a sip of his coffee. “You don’t need to answer.” His mouth opens again as if he’s about to speak and you see it again, his elongated canines scraping against the edge of his cup when he downs his macchiato. He gulps it down quickly and takes your wrist, placing the cup in your palm and curls your fingers around it. Eyes so fixated on your hand in his that when he finally looks up, they widen and he pulls away quicker than you’d’ve thought possible. He sits down immediately and focuses pointedly onto his screen. He mumbles again - a quick, “Thank you again. Good espresso.” He can’t bring himself to look at you anymore, but you nod as if he’s looking anyway.

“Thanks, it's Peruvian!” He stares ahead just at his screen. Nods. “Just let us know if you need anything else.” He nods again and you walk back to the counter.

“So, how was it?”

“He’s-”

“You like him don’t you?”

“Would you stop with that? He’s strange,” You think back to his hand under yours, take a deep breath because even he was clearly surprised by his behavior. “But that’s all.”

“F’you say so.” Phil shrugs.

The rest of the day is painfully slow. Just an occasional latte or cappuccino. Nothing interesting. It’s as you’re closing that you see him again. Just as tall, just as weighed down. He still cannot bring himself to look at you when he murmurs “My name is Miguel. Have a good evening.” And he briskly walks out the door, bell ringing behind him. When you clean his table you find five dollars cash and a note in neat handwriting. “Best espresso I’ve had in a while. Will be back.” You pocket the money with a small smile, and take a second - you should split it with Phil, shouldn’t you. You sigh when you walk back and put it in the tip jar, and smile when you tuck it into the envelope labeled “tips”. You finish cleaning quickly, and start your trek back to your apartment. It’s a quick, brisk walk - chilly in the fall. You’d’ve thought after Spider-Man’s visit last night that maybe, your block would’ve been quieter. But the outskirts of Nueva York are never really quiet as you near your building, petty thieves run out of the grocers’ and it’s all you can do to pass by - who knows what could happen if you got involved. They scurry away with their money and goods and you come face to face with your door.

Held tightly to the metal with faint red webs and a note that reads “thanks again, S. M.”, is your jacket. You tug at the webbing, noting the slight warmth and strange pulse that it seems to have. Thrumming softly as you pull it away. Your jacket has clearly been cleaned, impressively might you add as for the amount of blood that seemed to be on it, there isn’t a single stain. You press your palm to your door and put your jacket on as it verifies your identity. You catch a glimpse of the blue and red suit from your kitchen window, he must’ve caught those thieves too!

The next day is bright and early, you put on your jacket for a brisk morning walk, spending your time before work amongst the carefully manicured trees with a sandwich for breakfast. Phil isn’t there when you clock in, and a quick check of your schedule tells you he won’t be there - you’re on your own today (and apparently the rest of the week). So you buckle down, set up the portafilters and check the espresso for the day - (light almond flavoring, all natural - the bean is kind).The morning is steady, different drinks, no terrible customers. Midday slows, no lunch rush today. Your evening is interesting. It gets busy around three o’clock, an entire line that on a Thursday, isn’t common. They’re asking for cortados, specialty drinks, modified with oat, soy and coconut - a never ending onslaught of everything you serve. The pastries you had set out that morning were all gone not even fifteen minutes after three and the line only grew and grew and grew. But you keep your composure. Deep breaths and glances to the tip jar have gotten you through rushes before, it’ll get you through one now. The line starts to dwindle around four thirty. Slowly, slowly thinning and exiting the shop. You are almost completely sold out of pastries and your coffee supply is running a little higher than your energy; not very. That’s when he finally enters again. Miguel(?), from yesterday. With the macchiato.

“Welcome back in,” You try your best to sound enthusiastic for a returning customer but you can’t help the exasperation seeping through. “What can we get you today?”

“Black-eye.” His eyes flit to you. “Please.” And back to the ground as they had been when he entered.

“That’s easy enough, we’ve got good espresso today.” You give him a nod.

“It was good yesterday.”

“But it’s better today, trust me.” You punch his order into the POS, “Oh, preference on single origin?” You smile at him again.

“What’s your lightest roast?” He tilts his head and the corners of his mouth twitch.

“Oh you need caffeine that badly? It’s our Ethiopia.” He shakes his head in amusement.

“No I,” He catches himself, “Yes I need the caffeine.” You start setting up the pour over, 21 grams and a gooseneck.

“What, you have late shifts or something?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Think I can imagine. I have to deal with Phil half the time. Love that kid but god-” He exhales out his nose again, “So anyway, what do you do? Miguel, right?” You're halfway through, one eye on the coffee another on him. At the mention of his name his face drops. His face goes blank, eyes closed and he starts to turn.

“Same place as yesterday.”

“Alright.” Well so much for conversation. You turn as you make your last pour, and switch the espresso machine on, pour the shots and then the coffee. You take the mug and start over to the same table he was hunched over yesterday.

“Your black-eye.” He takes the cup from you this time, pulls it from your hand and doesn’t place it down.

“Do you…” His eyes dart to the side as he trails off, seems to stop himself.

“Oh?”

“Was just going to ask about coffee cake.”

“Oh yes! There is a single one left in the back, would you like it?”

“No.”

“Well, let me know if you need anything else.” He hums in response, sipping at his coffee and turning to his screen. You walk back to continue cleaning up the shop - with the rush of the day it’ll take longer to have it all cleaned and fixed. Your boss was born in 2037, and liked to do things the old fashioned way. No automated cleaning, no voice activated espresso, everything you did was done by hand in this shop. You supposed that maybe that’s what makes your cafe unique or popular, the antiquity of it. You knock the remaining pucks, cringing at the sound as you do, mop the floor, restock just about everything in the shop and even then you still have more to do it seems.

“What time do you close?” He puts a hand on your shoulder, stopping you on your way to check the table and chair positions.

“We close in,” You look to your shoulder, and immediately his hand is merely hovering, no longer resting on your shoulder. You continue slowly. “About ten minutes.”

“You’re an incredibly hard worker.” He stands, collecting his screens and pushing in his chair.

“Thanks,”

“It’s -” He cuts himself off again, wincing to himself and pinching his nose. “Nevermind.”

“Have a nice evening!” He bobs his head and doesn’t look back. The next day is slow. Rainy, dreary, cloudy - all of it. And the people willing to come out in this weather… well they all live in the undercity. Y’know - where the weather never changes. It’s a good day for the old jazz music on “Bluetooth” speakers, cozying up with some tea or coffee and setting up to do some computer work yourself. It’s cozy, you alone in the shop at seven in the morning, pastries put on display, coffee by your side and non-work related work set up on the counter. Eventually after sorting your affairs, you turn to check the state of the shop - maybe that Miguel guy would come again today, you might’ve gained a painfully awkward customer these past two days. Maybe it’ll be a different regular, someone seeking shelter from the pouring rain that refuses to drizzle. Maybe you won’t have any customers and you’re forced to go home and catch up on all the things you’ve been meaning to - ever since Spider-Man returned your jacket your door seems to have had some slight issues. You suppose the lock being a kind of genetics based lock (or something? Your landlady would know,) had some strange reaction to Spider-Man’s webs. Which makes perfect sense if you’re honest, if they’re any kind of biological creation they’d have to be a little strange to a door meant to scan a palm. Make it malfunction maybe. So yeah, if it’s a slow day you’d love to make it back and make sure your door isn’t going haywire and that you haven’t been robbed. The rain continues to pound against the windows, showing no sign of stopping. You decide to make yourself a drink and watch the day. The jazz is soft and the rain is loud, the view out the windows is limited, only showing the faint glow of signs reflected in puddles and the occasional passerby.

About two hours in you settle into working on your own thing. The rule is three hours no customers, and you can close. Just one more to go. You’re doing your fourth patrol of the shop when you look out the window again. It’s too rainy to tell exactly who it is, but from a distance you see a silhouette. They seem to be facing the shop, but it is a silhouette, maybe their back is facing the shop. They aren’t holding an umbrella, though maybe it was one of those less affordable nanotechnology devices to keep rain off, and they stand as you watch them (really this is the most interesting thing in hours, the fact that the rain has cleared enough to see the outline). The sign across the street flickers slightly and they flinch at the burst of light amidst the gloom. Eventually you realize how creepy it is of you to stare at someone who’s probably got their back turned to the shop and you go back to pacing. You can’t help but look on your fifth round though, to see if they’re still there.

They stay there for an hour in fact, get a little closer too, so you can tell that the body is masculine. He absolutely is facing the shop, looming closer and closer to the window. He lingers for not even a minute before you see him shake his head, finally take a step to the left and continue away from the shop. You’re left standing and still staring out the window, already possessing the idea to call and report the strange occurrence. You’re stalking your way over even, towards the counter to make a call when the bell finally rings.

“Hello good mornin-” You’re interrupted by a tiny little laugh and take a closer look at the customer in front of you. “And good morning to you too!” You give his daughter a smile and wave gently. She opens and closes her fist in response.

“Hey hey! Would you mind,” Her father gives you a nod and digs around in a large pocket of a pink bathrobe and pulls out some outdated cell phone. “Getting just a few pictures of us? It’s her first time in a coffee shop and I wanna capture the moment.” He holds the brick out to you over the counter and gives you a lazy - but winning, smile. “Thank you, thank you - oh her mother is gonna love this,”

“What’s her name?” You snap a picture.

“Oh this little angel? Mayday!” She coos adorably at her name. “Yep that’s you kid!” He ruffles her hair and you snap another picture.

“Isn’t she just the cutest little baby you’ve ever seen?”

“She’s adorable! You, her father and Mayday all agree with a round of laughter.

“Names Peter, by the way!” He holds his daughter up like that ancient, animated classic with lions and you grab another photo.

“Nice to meet you.”

“My good friend has been stopping in the past few days, mumbling about a good cup of coffee.” The man sets down a drenched umbrella in the stand you keep near the door as he speaks.

“Good friend, do you mea-'' It's right then that the bell rings again. Mayday coos gently at the noise and a sopping wet regular of three days stands on your welcome mat.

“There you are! Miguel, buddy!” Peter claps a hand on his back and Mayday reaches her chubby hand forward.

“I don’t recall telling you about this place.”

“Didn’t have to, s’nice little joint.” He gives you a smile to ignore Miguel’s glare. “And I mean, buddy! You gotta admit you’ve been a little happier these past few days. Wanted to check and see how good this coffee is myself.”

“Do you even drink coffee?” Miguel raises an eyebrow at the man and looks at his very evident lack of coffee.

“Ah,” the man sighs good-naturedly, “Right uh… cappuccino?” You pass back his old phone as you nod.

“Yep, can do! For you?” You turn to Miguel to discover he’s already looking at you.

“Macchiato.” He looks at the child who found her way onto his shoulders and scowls lightly; clearly with no real malice.

“Sure!” Their drinks are simple and Peter wrangles his daughter away from Miguel and they make their way to a slightly larger table. When you bring their drinks, they are mid conversation and you notice that either the man is oblivious or just doesn’t care because Miguel obviously isn’t very interested in what he has to say.

“I’m a geneticist.” He says exasperatedly as you place down each cup. Peter nods at you as you place his coffee and pats a third chair with another winning smile that Mayday echoes. You take a look at the door and then the window. The rain has only gotten worse. You sit and hope for riveting conversation. Miguel gives you a hum of acknowledgement and you join the tables’ conversation and Peter jumps to include you.

“You’re a — see isn’t that great? You know someone for so long and you just,” He gives Miguel a hearty clap on the back and Mayday giggles at the scoff that the larger man gives. “You keep learning things about ‘em. Isn’t that amazing? You can know someone for so long and never know enough huh.” Peter takes a sip of his cappuccino. “Oh my, oh that - that really is fantastic. Miguel buddy, you really know your coffee.” Miguel rolls his eyes and looks towards you. “See he’s always like this! Always this deep broody guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders and he just keeps piling more and more on — that’s why they’re so big y’know — and he just keeps pushing away any relief.” Mayday babbles a little at this as if she’s very wisely agreeing and no one at the table seems to notice the chord that appears to have struck Miguel. “Mhm yep that’s right Daddy’s right about that one, isn’t he!” He presses a kiss to his daughter’s head and Miguel seems to cheer up a little at the laughter that rises. “See if he just took some time for himself-”

“That’s why I’m at a coffee shop.” He mutters to himself, and you know enough Spanish to catch ‘idiot’ “This was time for myself.” He looks to you like he can’t believe he has to put up with this man.

“Yes but you’re always working!” And you think about that for a second because if Miguel is always working, how didn’t Peter know that he was a geneticist. They were close friends after all.

“So Peter, what do you do?”

“Oh I’m a house husband.” He stretches his arms and postures himself proudly. “Yep.” He elongates the word, pops the p for emphasis. “That’s all I ever do. Nothin else.”

“That is all you do. Yes.” Miguel deadpans.

“If you’re a geneticist, mind if I ask?” You speak up and less ill tempered than you thought he might be, Miguel turns to you. “My apartment door has been having a few issues, it’s one of those genetic locks, put a hand on it and it’ll open for you.”

“A little outdated.” He comments.

“Don’t live in a very new apartment, but anyway - very recently it seems to be having some issues?” He seems to sit up as you say this, Peter is playing with Mayday and half paying attention.

“What kinds of issues?” There’s a hard edge to his voice that it almost seems he had tried to shave off. “If you are,” he coughs.

“Comfortable sharing.” You look at him for a bit, both Mayday and Peter have stopped to pay attention.

“Well, recently my door has been malfunctioning a little. I think my neighbor’s kid is getting in because my chairs or tables have moved.”

“M’not gonna have to worry about that with you will I?” Peter pokes his daughter’s cheek gently and smiles. “No I'm not! No I’m not!” Miguel seems to contemplate his response deeply before,

“Are you sure it’s not just old?” He raises a stern eyebrow at you.

“I mean it is, but this is the only issue I've ever had with it; only issue anyone in the building has reported. And we’ve got a classic elevator.” Miguel grumbles at this and doesn’t say anymore. You sit in silence for a little bit, the only sound being the rain and Mayday’s warbles.

“Well, thank you for allowing me to sit-” You almost excuse yourself before Miguel speaks again. There’s something in the way that his hands seem to scrabble at the table and how his eyes seem to widen as you stand from your chair.

“I want to,” Peter and you both turn to look at him as he stares at the cup in front of him. Peter’s eyes widen very unsubtly, “I want to ask you your favorite kind of coffee.” His fingers tap against his biceps.

“Working here made me try a lot of it, and made me realize I like all of it. So I don’t really have a favorite.”

“That’s a good outlook! What’s not to like?” Peter stops abruptly to check his phone. He looks back up frantically. “I gotta get goin though, it’s Miss May’s nap time and she gets real cranky when she misses it. See you later Miguel,” he raises his cup towards you, “Excellent coffee. Really, just exquisite.” He sets his cup down on the table, looks between you and Miguel and puts Mayday back into her little carrier before pulling his umbrella from the holder by the door and exiting into the pouring rain. You see him dash into the street away and dart to the right.

“I,” Miguel starts but the words seem to catch in his throat like they always do.

“You,” You give him a smile “C’mon, talk to me! You’re a regular now,” You take a second to formulate your thoughts. What Peter said explains a lot about his more awkward behaviors. “And probably need someone to talk to if Peter’s right. Don’t keep depriving yourself of joy.” Unlike the previous days where he had avoided your eyes, suddenly he stares into them. You have to wonder, were they always tinged with that red? You had thought they were brown when he first came in, now they're flecked with a ring of maroon. He takes a small sip of his previously untouched coffee and takes a second before responding.

“I was going to ask if you think you’ll be open all day today.” He keeps a straight face, you’re pretty sure there's a hint of warmth in his voice though. “The rain.” He taps the window pane with a large finger.

“Well Miguel,” You don’t notice the way his hand clutches the table, the tense of his shoulders or the lurch in his seat at his name. “I think I’ll be closing early today. Gonna get home, see if I can get that door issue fixed.” You grab Peter’s empty cup and hold it with both hands, offering Miguel a polite smile and nod.

“You’re a hard worker.” He smiles and stands, placing his tiny cup on the table. “It’s refreshing to see. Also very kind.” He pauses before taking a breath and continuing to mutter, “Stupidly kind.” He approaches you slowly. Hands on his hips looking down at you with red eyes. He reaches a hand out, close enough to your cheek that you can feel the warmth radiating from it. He leans down so that your foreheads almost touch, and gently speaks, “Are you sure you’re safe by yourself?” You take a second to process that. Blink as he still looks into your eyes. “You smell good, by the way. Noticed it when I first came in, better than I imagined.” And everything seems to speed up, the rain is louder, your heartbeat palpitates uncomfortably and you hear the blood rushing through your body. He’s been a regular for three days. He’s taken your hand, pat your shoulder and asked your name. He stood outside your shop for an hour this very morning.

“I’m sorry sir, we closed ten minutes ago.” You blink away the tears in your eyes, and try to compose yourself as you say the words.

“What happened to Miguel?” He whispers the words so gently, so strangely vulnerable. His hand lingers by your cheek, fingers twitching. He groans. He shakes his head violently as if it'll make him stop whatever he’s doing. He turns and stands to his full height, eyes leaving yours again. He doesn’t say a word to you as he leaves the shop. You watch him walk slowly into the rain as he leaves and you make sure he doesn’t turn. Immediately you lock the door to the shop, flip the sign to ‘closed’ and pull the blinds. You contact your boss telling them you're closing early and set your sights on getting in touch with law enforcement. The hurdles you have to jump just to get a safe ride home are astounding. Calling the local P.D proves to be useless as all you have are ‘Miguel’ with no last name and ‘abnormally tall’ and those two descriptors don’t get you anywhere. But your distress does seem to affect the other end of the line with some amount of pity, as they dispatch a vehicle to take you home. All it took was a stalker, sobbing your eyes out to a cop and bang, safe ride home with someone comforting you and a shock blanket. Simple really. Oh the joys of being stalked.

“This is where Spider-Man has been hanging out these last few days!” The cop says as you reach your complex. It’s clearly meant to comfort you. “That guy makes the whole city safer, but I don’t gotta tell you that,” They sound like they’re giving you a smile. “Well best be on your way, stay safe and contact us if anything happens, okay?” They point towards the lapel of your jacket, to the Spider-Man pin you got just last week. “Tell ya what, we’ll put in a word with him when we see him next, have him look out for ya.” The cop will probably forget about this in the next few hours and it’ll probably never get back to him, but it’s a kind gesture.

“Thank you.” You exit the vehicle, looking every which way in the rain, checking for shadows along the walls of your complex. You all but run to your apartment and look desperately around for anything taken or misplaced, when you find nothing you turn to your chairs. You’re careful when you stack them against the door. You forgo food and drink in favor of grabbing the emergency metal pipe and decide to sit on your bed to wait for the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t. For hours and hours and hours. The stormy weather never lets up even as it grows darker.

Absolutely nothing seems to happen, save the loud cacophony from outside as Neuva York wakes for the second time of the day, nightlife not being stopped even for the rainstorm. You hear the shouting, the screeches, the loud music that you’ve grown accustomed to sleeping through and like that old classically conditioned dog, it makes you yawn. You look at your malfunctioning door and the small — hopefully effective — barricade and clench your fist tighter around the pipe. Falling asleep now would mean missing if anything were to happen, you try to drill this into your mind, bash it in like it’s a window. No glass shatters to keep you awake however and uneasily you’re lulled to sleep by the sounds of the city.

You wake up to Spider-Man (suddenly you’re able to identify that broad frame, the shocking height and burdened shoulders of Spider-Man who you’d seen three days ago.) leering over your sleeping body. Even if you can’t see his eyes he’s clearly staring at you. For a second you don’t move, try not to breathe as your heart hammers against your ribs. He doesn’t move for what feels like hours as he stares, he must know by now that you’re awake. The neon glow from the window is dull in the night and the rain has finally stopped, no more clubs blast their music. It’s just you and Spider-Man - Miguel.

You take a deep breath and your heart races and suddenly you can feel the metal pipe in your hand. You tighten your grip and immediately swing your wrist as hard as you can.

He stops it with a hand and tears it from your hand. He gives a disappointed growl, and bends the pipe with ease between his two hands.

“I was,” He sighs deeply. “Impulsive today. I had meant to be slow about it. Meant to be patient.” You cannot bring yourself to move as he continues to speak. “Because I am,” His voice spikes suddenly and he sees you flinch. Spider-Man softens his voice, “Patient.” He groans, turns away from staring at you - finally you can breathe again - and bashes his hand against your wall. “It was going to be weeks,” He cannot seem to help himself now, voice raising slowly as he sweeps back to where you are unable to move on your bed. “Until I would talk to you,” You cannot see him from behind the mask. You imagine him with the same stern eyes, haggard and a sneer if his tone is anything to go on. “But you,” His body heaves and before you can throw yourself from the bed and make a break for the door, a monstrous hand finds the back of your head. Fingers card tenderly through your hair before another hand appears on your hip and wrenches your entire body up, face forcibly made to look at his mask as it gives way to blindingly red eyes, iris sclera and pupil all flooded with the sickening red that blood often starts as. “You wanted this.” He softens, as he looks at you, “You wanted my impatience, didn’t you?” His eyes dart to your Spider-Man pin and he gently moves the hand on your hip so that it’s his forearm beneath your thighs and presses you closer to his chest so that you feel his lips drag on the top of your head. “If I had known I would’ve just taken you with me three nights ago.” He releases your grasp on your hair, and you pull away to see the red of his eyes recede like the beach before a tsunami. “See what you do?” He pats your cheek softly, “I’ll make it up to you. You’ve been nothing but foolish and kind. I’ll make this easier, stay still for me.” He offers you that same small smile, and pushes your head upwards to his cheek. You can feel his erratic heartbeat against your chest as Miguel nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck once more before taking a deep whiff of you and while you’re too busy trying to hold back the bile in your throat, he crumples into you and sighs as if this was the happiest he'd been in years. You feel his lips part against your skin and it feels like bugs crawling on you when he rumbles against your neck. You try your best to block out the tender mutterings of “You’re sweeter than….” and “Made for me,” before you feel his fangs sink delicately into your skin.

You pass out from the shock and pain before you feel the warmth of his venom.

#yandere x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel x reader #yandere atsv #miguel o'hara #dark miguel o'hara #yandere spiderman 2099 #atsv x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel

[hyperlexichypatia]

In the 15 or so years that I’ve been actively involved in neurodivergent/Mad/disabled liberation, my perspective on “overdiagnosis” or “broadening the category of mental illness” has shifted a few times. 

At first, I uncritically agreed with what might be called the “mainstream, mad-lite” perspective that “broadening the category of mental illness” was a real thing worth objecting to – that doctors and schools were pathologizing emotions, traits, and behaviors that should rightfully fall under the range of “normal.” How terrible to pathologize grief, we said, when feeling pain and sadness at the loss of a loved one is perfectly normal! 

But by 2015, when the New York Times ran an article on pathologizing women’s emotions, I was sharply critical. I wrote this: 

This is the kind of thing I would've celebrated a few years ago as a baby neurodiversity activist. But now, please count me as completely over faux-revolutionary assertions that one, specific, particular group of people should not be pathologized. The argument essentially boils down to "Neurotypical women shouldn't be pathologized for being upset, because they have legitimate reason for being upset, unlike all those other hysterical, overreacting people who are upset for no good reason, who really need to be pathologized." I regard this the same way I do the endless spate of "ADHD isn't a real disease; it's just a label for people who are creative and misunderstood!" articles. No, ADHD isn't a disease, and no, ADHD-type people shouldn't be pathologized, but the emphasis on "isn't a REAL disease" implies "unlike those other neurological differences, which ARE real diseases." These articles and ideas are not inclusive or neurodiversity-positive. "The line between pathologized and non-pathologized people should be drawn in a different place" is not a radical argument. It serves to throw other pathologized people -- the so-called "actually disordered" or "seriously mentally ill" or "low-functioning" people from whom these arguments are so anxious to distance their subjects -- further under the bus. Furthermore, because the medical model conflates pathologization with entitlement to services, these arguments often actually throw even the people they argue to depathologize under the bus as well. Extreme emotional states shouldn't be pathologized in women (or in anyone), but many people who experience extreme emotional states choose to use medications or other medical services to manage them -- a choice that should be their right. Depathologization should not be used to deprive them of access to that choice. "You're not defective, so we know what's best for you" isn't actually that big an improvement over "You are defective, so we know what's best for you."

Now, 9 years later in 2024, I still stand by what I said in 2015. Arguing about where to draw the line between pathological and nonpathological, or how wide to make the circle of accepted normalcy, is a pointless and ultimately harmful argument. I have no interest in arguing “This group of people, specifically, shouldn’t be pathologized, because they’re not like that group of people, who should be pathologized.” No one should be pathologized – not the otherwise-neurotypical woman grieving a loss, and not the visibly neurodivergent person responding to stimuli no one else can perceive. We should settle for no less than acceptance for all; pathologization for none. 

But I also didn’t quite predict how far pathologization would reach in the following decade. 

I was thinking about this because, in a context completely unrelated to disability rights, I was thinking that liberalism as a mainstream ideology barely exists in the U.S. anymore. I expressed some of that concern here. “Freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and bodily autonomy are generally, in and of themselves, good” is not a particularly mainstream idea. 

“But,” you might be thinking, “Aren’t you always saying that liberals who profess to believe those things don’t really believe them, and never have, because they don’t apply them to disabled people, poor people, young people, and other marginalized people?” And yes, I am always saying that. Universal liberalism – truly universal – has never been mainstream in the U.S., or anywhere in the world. As I said here, if you ask people “Should people have the right to…?” you will get a lot of “Yes, of course” answers, but if you ask “What about a child? What about an intellectually disabled person? What about an unmedicated-by-choice schizophrenic person?” the answer will switch to “I don’t mean them” or “That’s an exception.” There are Normal People who deserve basic human rights, and Pathologized People, who don’t. 

The trend I’m seeing now, though, is that the “normal” non-pathologized subject doesn’t exist. Everyone is some degree of pathologized. Neurotypical privilege is still very much in effect, and there is still a vast difference between those who are perceived as relatively neurotypical and those who don’t. “Everyone is a little bit [whatever]” or “No one is really normal” are ways of erasing and minimizing the very real neurotypical privilege, and corresponding neurodivergent oppression, that some people experience and some people don’t. Nevertheless, I’m seeing a real shift from “‘People’ by default means ‘normal’ neurotypical people, who deserve acceptance and freedom, but there are those ‘other’ people who don’t” to “No one is ever really ‘mentally healthy,’ so no one ever really deserves acceptance and freedom.” 

I talked a bit here about the premise that “Everyone needs therapy,” but I’m trying to think of the last time I actually saw that premise questioned. I’m thinking back trying to remember the last time I heard someone expressing the opinion “No, I don’t think you need therapy; I think that’s a normal thing, not a pathological thing.” 

I’m not saying a dividing line between pathologized and non-pathologized people was better! Not at all. And it was never absolute; non-pathologized people were always at risk of slipping into the pathologized category if they ever let their social conformity slip. As long as anyone is pathologized, everyone is at risk of being pathologized. 

But I’m saying that looking around, it feels like I wished for society to stop differentiating pathologized people from non-pathologized people, and the monkey’s paw gave me my wish. The argument “[Pathologized trait] isn’t that different from [non-pathologized trait]” isn’t effective, because there are no non-pathologized traits. Who, exactly, is considered “mentally healthy” or “emotionally mature” enough to be allowed to make decisions? Is anyone? If not, who is supposed to be in charge of us? Anybody with an audience who can successfully convince us that we’re “unhealthy” and need to be fixed, like the salesmen who convinced us that we all have a specific “attachment style”? I don’t know. I don’t know what the long-term effects of this cultural norm will be. Not good, to say the least. I know that it reminds me of certain strict, punitive strains of Christianity, with “trauma” taking the place of “original sin.” All have fallen short of the glory of Healing. But those people over there, they have fallen especially short. They need to be locked up. I know that the emphasis on relationships and interactions being “healthy” rather than respectful, consensual, and happy has pathologized a lot of respectful, consensual, happy relationships while allowing wildly disrespectful people to escape criticism because they’re “healthy.” I have no idea where universal-pathologization-culture is going, but I hope it’s not too late to turn it around. 

#mad pride #neurodiversity #liberation #disability rights #pathologization #mad liberation

[avelera]

I do wonder if we get the beginning of Brief Lives in the next Sandman Netflix season, specifically with this moment:

If it's going to be played quite the same way? If they end up skipping straight from Seasons of Mist to Brief Lives (which I think is an excellent idea to be clear) it raises a few possibilities:

(cut for comic spoilers & speculation)

Personally I find this moment a bit weird in general because Dream doesn't even name the woman who supposedly just broke his heart and thus launched the action of this arc. Also the fact we later find out it's Thessaly who in the comic at least (the show can always soften the character as they have others) fucking sucks, for her to kick off Dream's sadness roadtrip of self-destruction feels like such a waste. It also feels weird to imagine babygirl Netflix Tom Sturridge Dream going for someone like Thessaly after his whole arc of trying to be a better person and learning important lessons and also just...being a much softer character who is trying to do better, going for someone like Thessaly (who doesn't even like him by her own admission) and who is also terrible feels like a tragic step backwards in his character development. Not inconceivable, just terribly tragic.

Which has me thinking that one possibility is if they go straight from Seasons of Mist to Brief Lives, this moment above could be about Nada, who does choose to pass on after he frees her, even after expressing that she still loves him. That love is just not enough for her to accept his offer to be his queen and stay (after 10k years of Hell, who can blame her?!).

Point is, this moment instead being part of the long tail of Dream's self-recrimination about Nada choosing to pass on would make a lot of sense and be a much more justifiable kick-off for Dream going on a roadtrip that's an expression of his doubts in his ability to change for the better (and therefore, must he die?). Nada's punishment is so heinous I can easily see the Sturridge Dream being conflicted about his own actions for much longer than he appears to be in the comic, leading to this moment after he set her free.

Thessaly is an immortal, so even if/when she shows up, her having an acrimonious "angry ex girlfriend" reaction to Dream need not be because she was the girlfriend who kicked off the Brief Lives arc, they could have just dated sometime in the past centuries and still have vitriol between them.

And finally, and this is just me being a shameless Dream/Hob shipper, I do kind of wonder how one even justifies Dream ending up with an immortal human like Thessaly when Hob is right there.

Look, in the comic, Hob barely seems to remember Dream exists when he's not there, so there's no feeling of "Why doesn't Dream hook up with Hob instead??" when you first learn about Thessaly. But in the show, you've got the 1789 tension, the missed meeting, the devotion of the New Inn. Dream going for another, shitty immortal brunet when Hob is right there feels a bit like a slap in the face in that context.

And let me be clear, it's not because I'm being shipper garbage that thinks Neil can, should, or would alter the story to appease Dreamling shippers or that Dream dating Thessaly in the show as he does canonically in the comic would be an intentional slap in the face to Dreamling shippers! It is beyond wishful thinking to imagine we'd get more than what the comic offers which is a few beautifully rendered, sentimental moments between them for us to build our fanon ship off of. It's not Neil's responsibility to make it canon so don't be fucking weird about it.

It's more that the show is so queer. The comic is queer too but the show absolutely focuses and centers the narrative on predominantly queer couples and people, more than straight ones. They also softened for example the Corinthian and confirmed he's gay and has some non-destructive relationships with men, he's not just a murderer of gay men. So the narrative is even more queer than the comic.

In the 80s/90s when Sandman came out, the idea of Dream as the lead protagonist being canonically queer I think would have been pretty unlikely. He's very, very het in the comics, with the closest we get to a whisper of him not being strictly het being a mention of Lucifer once being beautiful and some speculation they might have had a relationship.

But the show is so very queer and the energy so charged between Dream and Hob (and the writers acknowledged and encouraged it!) that there is no, in my opinion, natural conclusion that, "Sure, almost everyone else is queer in this, but not Dream, obviously." If anything, it would be jarring to have so many queer characters only to slam the door shut on the possibility that Dream might also be queer.

Which is my roundabout way of saying: I wonder how Thessaly will fit into this at all. I speculate she might be removed entirely from this beat of Brief Lives, in favor of making Dream more remorseful about Nada in a sympathetic way. Furthermore, introducing Thessaly when Hob, another immortal who actually likes Dream is right there the idea that he opts for Thessaly (a woman who doesn't even like him to the point where she plays an active part later in his death) instead after being tortured for 106 years is actually painfully heartbreaking.

So in conclusion: eh? Who knows!

But also: DREAM, Hob is RIGHT THERE! Date HIM, not fucking THESSALY?!

#the sandman #dreamling #thessaly #nada #brief lives #sandman netflix speculation #sandman meta

[superanonymousthethird]

I was thinking of Sylvanas and her narrative and I remembered that scene in War Crimes where she breaks down and thinks how foolish it was of her to believe she can love and how her pain from trying to feel that was a warning that in the end she "[...] would be left alone. Again, and always"

And I thought when reading that, well that's terrible, surely something good will happen to her right? Surely something good happens and makes her feel that trusting and loving and hoping aren't mistakes and wanting them doesn't make her weak and being undead doesn't change how worthy she is of them!..

And then BtS and BfA and Shadowlands come and Sylvanas is turned into a complete monster, rejected by Alleria, gets her connection with Forsaken severed as well, gets used and deceived by the guy responsible for the Lich King (whom she still trusted because thought them similar), has her only romantic interest killed, gets called a monster by a pre-trauma version of *herself*, and then sent to atone in the Maw, being alone (without any humanoid capable of speech) in there for what's been at least 5 years. Like what the fuck :/

I also love how like books have stuff like Sylvanas hearing her friends calling her monster (when she was just freed from Arthas) or Vereesa saying she's not her beloved sister.

And Sylvanas thinks "perhaps they're right" and "I am... and I am not" and absolutely nothing fucking happens to tell her that they're not right and it's not okay to think that, no, quite the opposite, she's just "evolved" into becoming people she hated most: mostly Arthas, plus with a Garrosh-like plot in BfA :/

Speaking of her own perception of herself, in the book after the ambush on Arthas she has these doubts: "She was still Sylvanas. Wasn't she?"

It makes me ultra sad because while in Edge of Night we get stuff like her concluding "no she was the same, in death as in life", but the way BfA went, it led to "I believe Sylvanas Windrunner is well and truly lost" and the added Shadowlands soul shard thing went into "I died trying to stop that monster only to wake up haunted by the one with my face"...

That makes the answer for the question of "she was still Sylvanas, wasn't she?" be "nope you're not, Arthas made you into a monster and you're doomed to grow into his own image".

It makes Lor'themar going "She is gone and truth be told I am glad for it. Let's remember her as she was, that was *our* Sylvanas not the monster wearing her face" right, it makes Vereesa's "You're not she who was my beloved sister" be correct, it makes Alleria's "You're a twisted mockery of my sister" correct and I *hate that*, because all that bullshit came *before* Teldrassil, but after Teldrassil her haters can now go "See they were right she was always evil :) real Sylvanas was killed by Arthas", and in universe characters also cannot be blamed because ew why should they treat such a monster better?

And then it's Sylvanas who needs to apologize and atone and seek amends and feel regrets but nothing is required of her family and friends from high elf days.

Ah, in the same theme, I also love the book having a moment of her thinking:

Do we get something about her still being herself and others having no right to treat her the way they did and... ah ye of course not it's completely true Banshee Queen is something separate and evil and here, have the Ranger General put back in, because clearly Arthas' actions mutilated her so thoroughly there was no trace of her old seft left to be saved, and OF COURSE, only after *that* do her ex friends and family express a feeling of "Aw I'd wish to spend more time with her it's the first time I see Sylvanas may be back"

The way her sisters are written I wonder if they even love Sylvanas at all.

They seem to only like that idealized version of her when she was alive that they remember. Why would they wish to speak to that MONSTER that replaced her in undeath?

Ask her how it feels to be undead? What exactly happened in Quel'thalas and how it felt to be under Arthas? Ask why did she join the Horde? Ask how she came to lead the Forsaken? Ask what she did after Arthas died? Ooof no that would be so tough to say, that would be a SAD talk, they'll have to listen to this horrible nasty angry banshee trauma dumping on them, and they just want their sweet noble SISTER back, who doesn't have such burdens :) How good it is the magic soul shit fulfilled their wish :)

Also bruh what does that even mean for Sylvanas herself?

What the fuck was she supposed to do to make them see her as their sister BEFORE the soul mending shit???

Somehow turn off her red eye glow? Stop being angry? (aka calm down and not feel a burning hatred for being brutalized by a manchild of a knight, rejected by everyone and failing to take revenge on him :/).

Kneel before them and say she's a horrible elf being and deserves everything bad happening to her?.. (Their reunions happened before Teldrassil, where most of her crimes were out of a desperate desire to survive in a hostile world)

Forget her silly trauma and simply behave like she did pre death? (Easier said than done)

These bitches did nothing to help Sylvanas heal and now that she's magically restored (and I don't even think it's even healed, she's just now plagued with guilt about doing everything she did), they do wanna talk to her. Yay.

Hm maybe The War Within has it better? Alright-

"Lost my sister to myself" Jesus fuck.

That's what you have to say about your sister who got murdered, raised, tortured, enslaved, forced to participate in the genocide of your species, then rejected by friends, family and Alliance?

Yeah the fact she killed herself after being denied closure against her abuser and after being sent to suffer in hell fell under the influence of a guy who said he understands her and they're similar and showed her that even afterlives aren't fair is TOTALLY just on her!

Yep totally just Sylvanas losing herself to herself and not the fact none of you assholes extended a hand and tried to ask her how she felt at any point of her miserable unlife.

#sylvanas windrunner #wow #world of warcraft #I'm sorry this is so long

[dino-boyo-agere]

Anon asked me:

I’m very new to the whole agere thing, but after looking into it a little i feel like I’ve been kind of subconsciously doing it? like I said, I didnt really do any research, I’ve been honestly very very shy about bringing it up anywhere.

Whenever my mental health worsens, I end up feeling so.. small? Like I want to just curl up and make myself so small and disappear. But so far from what I’ve seen people usually aren’t so negative and “miserable” when age regressing, but thats how I feel. I just kind of feel so sad and teary eyed all the time is that also a part of it? Or am I experiencing something else?

I’m terribly sorry to dump all this on you haha, I really hope I’m making sense.

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Thank you so much for reaching out, I know how hard it can be to ask for advice and I'm very proud of you for doing so, good job! /gen

Your absolutely making sense and you are not alone at all!

The official term of what you are describing is "impure regression" it's regression that is caused by / causes negative emotions.

I personally don't like the term "impure regression", I usually call it "sad-" or "upset regression" but I wanted to give you the official term, so you can find others who share your experience more easily!

I also have to deal with upset regression quite a lot, it's mainly caused by stress for me aswell.

The AgeRe community has this issue (like most online communities) that it often tries to only show the happy times. All positivity and smiles and playing. But regression can be messy. It can be upsetting and scary. It can feel debilitating.

Just know that you are not broken. You aren't "doing regression wrong" and it's not your fault you feel this way!!

Regression is a form of therapy and can be a trauma response, those things aren't meant to be "just happy". They exist to help you process and work through your feelings, all your feelings. That also means the negative ones.

I'll link some sources to maybe help you (and anyone else who needs it) to understand the process of regression, especially upset regression:

What is regression in general, why do people do it and what is it for?

What is upset regression specifically?

Why we move away from the former term of "impure regression"?

Tips on how to deal with upset regression?

More tips on how to deal with upset regression

A post to show you that you're not alone

A very helpful website! youragerefriend.com

I know sometimes it can feel like you're with your problems alone in this world, but I promise you're not! There's always a place for you, and if you can't find it, it'll find you.. eventually. So, please, don't give up! <3

Hopefully this was helpful, if you have any further questions, feel free to ask. You can also reach out in my DMs, if you're comfortable with that! <3

.ﾟ｡.･.*.ﾟ☆❗only interact if your blog is SFW❗☆ ﾟ.*.･. ｡ﾟ.

I wasn't able to edit the ask, after sending it to my drafts, but I had to add those links.. So, I got impatient and decided to answer the ask like this. I hope this is okay for you anon and hopefully Tumblr fixes the bug soon!

#nates advice #nates tips #nates recommendations #nates answers #sfw interaction only #sfw #sfw agere #agere #age regression #agere community #age regression community #age regressor #agere fandom #upset regression #sad regression #impure regression

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! /Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! /

 Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! /

Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here ! / Part 17 Here! / 

Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here! / Part 20 here! / Part 21 Here! / Part 22 Here! / 

Part 23 Here! / Part 24 Here! / Part 25 Here! / Part 26 Here! / Part 27 Here! / 

<This is Part 28!>   / Part 29 Here! / Part 30 Here!

A/N: It's baaaaack! A few updates; I know we used to have an update every week, due to mental health and general constraints in time -- This series will no update every other week. In the weeks between you'll get the sneak peak. I know it's not ideal, but with the pace the series is being written at this is the best I can currently offer. Hope you enjoy this part!

* It’s hard to describe the exact sensation that plagued the days after Luke’s betrayal.

* At first it wasn’t terrible, you would rouse from your cabin and make your way to the big house where a comatose Percy slept, pale blue light pouring from your hands.

* While he was still unconscious you could maintain a steady rhythm for your days.

* You would wake up in the morning, drink some nectar, heal Percy, have a snack, and go back to sleep.

* But the second Percy woke up, back to swinging swords and beheading monsters, it felt like every ounce of responsibility left your body.

* Your glass of nectar started to be a bit more full every morning.

* The full breakfast with coffee Dionysus laid out felt less appetizing.

* And you started to find solace in the relief of sleep.

* You watched the three moons of the Underworld all aligned in a burning red sky.

* “Are you okay?” The boy with scars on his chest asks.

* “Of course! I’m fine!”

* A plump red strawberry nestled in your palm.

* “If you want, my mother might be able to help, I could bring you to her.” The woman with hair the color of rust whispers, the cow nestled in her lap snorts.

* “It’s fine, I’m fine.”

* You sit next to a hippie in a strawberry field, her bright hair held up by a tie dye headband.

* “You’ve got to let that stuff go man.”

* “What stuff? I’m fine.”

* You drift from reality to reality, never really sure of what you’re experiencing or what you’re looking for.

* You stand in cold water that comes up to your calves, so clear and blue it feels like liquid aquamarine.

* You can see white doves in the distance, soaring to the place where sky meets water.

* “I haven’t seen you in a while.” It’s the boy from earlier, the one with pure white hair, Zeus’s personal secretary.

* He seems more tan now though.

* “You look awful.”

* He still doesn’t seem to have much tact.

* Flustering under your apathetic gaze, his cheeks bloom a rosy hue, hand up in surrender.

* “N-not in a bad way, it’s just you usually…” his gaze softens, his freckles glinting like amber under the sunlight. “You usually seem as vibrant as a fresh rose.”

* Well, that’s quite a compliment.

* “I was betrayed by a friend recently,” you shrug and he gapes “but it’s fine, I’m—”

* “No you’re not fine! How could you be?” He grasps your shoulders in his hands, forcing you to face him entirely. “You were betrayed by your friend, how can you be okay?”

* “Because everyone expects me to be.”

* The words snap whatever feeble grip you have on your emotions.

* You feel the intense burn before you feel the heat of your tears as life down your face, cooling at the nape of your neck.

* Despair you’ve kept carefully contained begins to curl off your form

* Your hands move to cover your face, tears collecting on your wrist as your furiously move to wipe the remnants of your sadness away.

* The boy doesn’t let you feel bad for long, paying no mind to the physical pain of the despair that curls off of your form, tugging you to his chest.

* “You’re just a child, you’re allowed to feel sad.”

* The tears come harder now, sobs muffled by his broad chest, his warm hand on your back.

* You wake up sniffling, blurry eyes taking in the ceiling of your cabin, your alarm clock flashing three fourty-two in the morning.

* You clutch your heart, feeling tears slip down your face.

* You swallow hard and shuffle on an old sweatshirt and your slippers.

* You walk across camp in quick steps, past the training grounds where you see a flicker of his figure, past the porch of the Hermes Cabin where you would laugh with him, past Thalia’s tree where you sat and had picnics, each step punctuated with traces of your blue despair.

* You still for a moment at the Big House, but continue down the hills, Dionysus as kind as he is, isn’t who you need right now.

* You make your way down to the small hill, the place you first met him all those years ago.

* You feel that burning again.

* Despair curling off of your body like an aura, the grass at your feet withering away.

* You kneel on the barren earth, tears sliding down your face.

* You place your hands out, flinching away at the last moment.

* ‘Asking for help is always the hardest part.’

* You take a quick breath, tears shaking from your eyes, pressing your hands against the earth twice and before you can fully think you say: “Aidoneus.”

* He wraps you in his arms before you can croak out a word.

* “He betrayed me…HE BETRAYED ME!” You shriek, collapsing in on yourself like a dying star.

* He holds you tight, a hand cradling your head.

* “It’s okay, I’m here now, you’re okay.” He takes your despair like it’s his own, a monster who’s lived in his shadow all his life, only offering a single tear in its face.

* The hill outside Canp Halfblood is dyed blue that night, the divine boundary the only thing saving a dozen campers from melancholy dreams.

* “I keep wondering if there was something I could have done, something I could have said,” you sniff after you’ve calmed down, your face pressed against the soaked cotton of his button down shirt.

* He doesn’t say anything for a long time.

* “That boy…” you look up, eyes red rimmed. “Just as you have something you want to do, something you think only you can do, that boy feels the same.”

* You can see it, Luke, so distraught and torn after being a plaything for the gods for so long reaching out to the hand of a Titan who promised him a different kind of future, for him and for every child who came after him.

* “If you care for him,” Hades cradles your face in both of his palms, “if you care for that mortal boy like you were split from the same star, and carved from the same flesh, then I promise you nothing on earth, the underworld, or Olympus will keep you from reaching him.” He presses his forehead against yours and you nod.

* There was never any doubt.

* ‘If Luke’s lost his way then it’s no big deal, he has friends to bring him back.’

* “Do you feel better?” He asks, and you nod, your worn sweatshirt cuffs dabbing at your eyes. “Good, now drink.”

* He holds the flask to your lips and the sweet taste of your fathers slightly burnt chocolate chip cookies floods your mouth.

* “I lost your flask,” you suddenly remember, before sheepishly adding: “sorry.”

* He grins.

* “I know, it’s okay. It’s a miracle you all made it out—in comparison a flask is inconsequential.”

* His hand strokes your hair bank, his eyes warm as he looks down at you.

* “We’re all on your side.”

* “I know.”

* And you do, the proof is littered on your arm, blessings from each of them and every god they could find, trading favors and secrets to make sure you were secure.

* “As a king and a god, there will be times where I can’t show you explicit favor,” like he already hasn’t or something. “But if you call for me, I will always answer.”

* “Me too.” You’re not sure why you say it, just that it feels right, a smile illuminating your face. “If you call for me, I’ll answer you too.”

* He smiles so wide you feel like you catch a glimpse of the boy he once was.

* “Go, they're waiting for you.” He nods to Thalia’s tree, and you begin the climb up the steep hill, turning back to wave goodbye before he dissipates into smoke.

* When you reach the top, gold hued dawn breaking over the skyline, you’re met with three figures.

* Percy and Annabeth rush towards you first:

* “We’re going to go find him next summer,” Annabeth starts.

* Percy nods beside her. “We’ll bring him back.”

* Clarisse approaches you behind them. “He’s just going through a bout of teenage rebellion, a slap upside the head will set him straight.

* Grover nods beside her, still dressed in his nightshirt. “He’s just a little confused.”

* Dionysus smiles, “With all of us working together it’s just a matter of time until we bring Luke back home!”

* You feel the warmth of hope bloom in your chest, tears of joy stinging the corners of your eyes.

* “How could be possibly refuse when all of you are waiting for him?”

* ‘Because no one who’s lost ever stays lost.’

* Summer comes to an end, and for once everyone’s going home, you wave to Percy, Clarisse, and Annabeth as you part at the boundary line, going to your respective families.

* You think you see Clarisse cry a little when her mother greets her with a hug.

* “Everytime I pick you up from here I get the strange urge to shove you in the car and never bring you back.” Your father says when you’re nestled in his passenger seat.

* “What a completely normal thing to say to your child, do you have any other normal sayings or is this your best one?”

* “Alright smartass, you’ve got your uniform fitting the day after tomorrow.” You groan, a new year meant a new uniform.

* “They’re always so uncomfortable.” You mumble, face in your hands.

* You think about Luke more than you’d like to admit in the coming week, even out of camp you can’t help wondering where he is.

* Is he eating well? You think while you try your fathers new and improved risotto.

* Is he somewhere safe? You think when rain hits the glass window outside of Barney’s as the tailors fuss over your form.

* Is he able to sleep at night? You think when you’re cozy in your bed.

* And each time you strengthen your resolve.

* ‘I’m going to get him back.’ You think with every hearty bite of risotto.

* ‘He’s going to come back.’ You reinforce, meeting the tailors suggestions head on.

* ‘I’m going to save Luke Castellan, and not even Kronos can stop me.’ You manifest, right before you drift into silky black unconsciousness.

* You’re in a pavilion, ivory white columns on either side and white marble under your feet.

* Before you is possibly the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, skin the color of dark amber, golden eyes, and tawny tresses.

* A jagged scar runs over his right eye, but even that only seems to accentuate the symmetry of his features.

* “Is there something I can help you with, godling?” He doesn’t spare you a glance, his eyes fixed on the green trees in the distance.

* You immediately fluster.

* Normally you would apologize, but instead what comes out of your mouth is:

* “Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you can be cold, you know.”

* ‘Now I’m really in for it.’

* He raises an eyebrow.

* “Do you jest Demi-god?”

* You take the quirk of his lips as an invitation to sit beside him, taking in the scenery.

* “Whatever, like you don’t know you’re stupid hot.”

* “Hot? I think I’m the correct temperature.” He touches his forehead and you laugh.

* “No like…you’re handsome.”

* He smiles at you, and when he turns to face you, you realize where his left arm should be in a hood mechanical device in the shape of a human hand.

* ‘That’s interesting.’

* “I can’t say I share your sentiment.”

* “How did it happen?”

* He shrugs.

* “My Father betrayed me.” He shrugs.

* “Wow, your dad is super shitty.” Somehow he’s even worse than a deadbeat like Poseidon or a serial womanizer like Zeus.

* “Do you also have an awful Father?”

* “No, my Dad is the best.” He visibly deflated when you tell him that, earning a laugh. “But I recently had a good friend show a display of extreme betrayal.” Your eyes widen, the corner of your mouth twitching.

* “We could be betrayal buddies!”

* You said it as a joke, still you weren’t expecting the handsome man to laugh as hard as he did. You find yourself laughing along, waking up in your bed with tears in the corners of your eyes and laughter spilling past your lips.

* “What a wonderful dream.”

* You walk to school that morning feeling a little lighter. Excited to see all your old friends and classmates. Maybe you’ll even learn something interesting.

* ‘This is going to be a good year.’

* So imagine your surprise when you see a certain ocean-eyes boy at the gate.his gaze widens when he meets your eyes.

* “Hey (Y/N), do you go to Saint Catherine’s too?” Percy asks with a grin.

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