#i know no one uses tumblr as their diary anymore

[myowndesertplaces]

Tonight is tough. It's really tough.

Six months ago I left my job for moral and personal reasons, but I also wanted to spend time with my dad who has Stage IV cancer. Then, unexpectedly, I became a caretaker to a different loved one in my life (they dont want their health stuff posted on social media). They're doing well though, but it was very scary for a couple months.

It's been really hard for me to get back into job searching or any of my creative projects. This isnt my first time dealing with depression. She's an old shitty friend that I keep having drinks with every few years because we have similar taste in music and art. And now tonight, with the news about Roe, I'm starting to lose hope entirely. Depression is banging at my door with a bottle of Jack in her opposite hand and screaming in early 2000s Bright Eyes lyrics.

The news about Roe V Wade isn't unexpected, but it still fucking hurts. Add this to the last several weeks of the old Anita Bryant, anti-gay playbook the right has been spreading, and we are all suddenly back in 1977. Maybe we'd be able to stand a little taller in the face of this if we werent all carrying so much pain from EVERYTHING that has happened over the last 3 years.

Dont let my baby-faced icon fool you: I'm old. I survived the Bush years. Watched my friends get shipped off to Iraq and Afghanistan. My college roommate helped pass gay marriage in Iowa. I have lived through seasons of shit and seen flowers bloom out of it months later. And yet I am so... fucking... exhausted.

It's really hard to plan for the future when your world is stuck 50 years in the past.

I'm not with my partner tonight because I'm at home helping with my dad, and it's too late to reach out to friends on a Monday night. So I'm here, venting. Trying to rinse out this hopelessness like a rag soaked in muddy water.

I dont have any answers. Just tears tonight. It's all I can give right now when Depression is scream-singing "Let's Not Shit Ourselves," lyrics at Midnight. But I guess, if you're sad and angry too, you're not alone. And maybe that can help us both rest for what we have to do next.

With Love,

Your Older Millennial Gay Aunt Alli

#tmi #tw for just pessimism and depression and roe v wade #i know no one uses tumblr as their diary anymore #but fuck i had to write this and get it out of me #ill probably delete this in the morning

[torgawl]

i have 20 days to write my thesis i feel so overwhelmed i don't think i can do it i need to do so much

#doing this masters while being mentally ill and probably in the worst phase of my life is exhausting and one of the worst experiences #of my life i just wanna finish this #i know whatever comes out of this i won't feel proud of it because it's not my best #but also i can't take this anymore and don't care if i don't get a good grade #i just wanna end it #i feel so hopeless ajsksj #i will try to have an extremely productive day tomorrow #or today it's already past midnight but can't sleep cause anxiety ahaha fun ✌️ #actually no i have less than 20 days to write it i need to send it in 20 days LOL #i don't wanna say that bad phrase but i do be really wanting to sometimes #i'm afraid #i really wanna finish this #i wanted to be able to write something good because of my supervisors #i just feel sorry for them #they deserved someone who was able to make something good #and i'm just wasting it #i was supposed to actually write an article out of this as first author after the thesis but i think i will give up and just let them write #it and include me just as co-author i really need a break from this otherwise i can't take it #sorry for using my tumblr as a diary agsksj i'm having a full on panicking moment because the anxiety hits at these times #insomnia is a bitch #and i feel really disappointed in myself and hopeless about all of this #which was my one priority #i think it hits especially hard because i'm not monetarily in a good moment of my life either #anyways #i forgot to leave my cat food for the night i should do that lol

[theoneandonlyailat]

bro I just scrolled through my personal tag and it’s literally 99% me wanting to kill myself lmaooo embarrassing

#I am in so much better of a place mentally than I used to be #like obvs there’s still the occasional sad post now but nothing like it used to be #anyway I love myself!!!! #I am sexy!!! #and beautiful!!!!! #and I am kind to others and full of joy and mischief and love #seriously I feel like I need to write a manifesto about how amazing I am to combat the barrage of negativity from my teenage years #this bitch really used to want to die once a week #it’s funny bc I don’t -feel- that much healthier but it’s like very obvious #a big help is living on my own away from my parents influence #and accepting my body the way it is and loving myself for it #anywayyyy #to be fair tumblr was the place I always went to to be sad and depressed because I didn’t want any of my friends to know I was sad #and no one else really uses tumblr #it was my diary but only my most negative diary bc I put my happy thoughts out with my friends #well NO FUCKING MORE #mostly bc I don’t use a lot of other social media anymore #it’s loving ourselves o fucking clock #personal

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Messages you didn't notice #6 | Sunbae Theory

I wanted to add this to my previous post about other messages and their translation and theories (here) but it was becoming too long, so I'm posting it separetely.

Guys, I kept thinking about the fact that we never got to learn more about the meaning of these "random" messages. And then I realized I was overthinking it too much.

ALL THESE MESSAGES WERE ACTUALLY FROM MYUNGHA'S SUNBAE WHO MISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE!!!

In the final episode there's a moment when the last message shows up, and the author is finally written.

"I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae."

After we learn Myungha's full backstory, we now know "that place" means "afterlife". And if you look back on all the messages it MAKES SENSE, if you think that these are messages that are still coming on Myungha's phone from a friend – or, if we consider that everything is happening in Myungha's head, these are the thoughts about him by someone else.

Sunbae missed Myungha who was suddenly gone from life.

[In May, there is Children's Day, Parents' Day, there is even Teacher's Day but there is no Day when I can meet you] [I was passing by and saw a bracelet that you used to wear long time ago. It reminded me of you. I wonder if you still wear that bracelet.] [I broke a vase that was a gift from you. Can it be repaired?] [I thought only you dressed like that but others do too. I knew it wasn't you but I still followed. But why would you be dressed like that] (last sent messages) [I miss you. If only I could go there…] [Everything depends on what you'll do. Get yourself together.] [I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae.]

Tell me if these messages don't look like they were written by someone mourning the loss of a dear person. Someone who might be still sending messages to the number that will never reply anymore (and Myungha never did!). A chat that has become a diary of memories and longing, filled with a ghost of someone whose specific details you keep noticing in your everyday life. There is no Day when they can meet anymore. If only he could see him again...

I'm not sure about the vase but Myungha wore a bracelet in the beginning of the story (that was the first detail we notice about him tbh when he looks through the novel draft in the very first scene).

Someone else on Tumblr has expressed a theory that sunbae is a friend (or someone who loved Myungha) who decided to commemorate his friend in a written novel because they wanted to give him a happy life instead of a miserable one Myungha lived in real life.

I am so on board with this theory, (even though I like the grim reaper/deity theory or Myungha creating the world for himself), I think sunbae did exist in real life. And he obviously cared about Myungha, whether his love was to teach him a harsh lesson or to commemorate him in a meaningful story. After all, isn't this what all authors do to their characters? They make them go through conflicts and breaking points in order to overcome it all and finally find a happy ending.

Maybe sunbae has regretted that Myungha was never able to accept the love that others wanted to give him so he wrote the story to change that. Maybe sunbae is actually Yeowoon who wanted to put Myungha in his shoes and teach him how to love and be loved – actually, remember young Yeowoon, who lost Myungha due to his decision to erase himself from the game, who cried and picked up a pen to bring him back, starting a mission to make Myungha happy.

Maybe this novel is a desperate attempt to make peace and hope that someone you lost could be still loved at last.

No matter what, Sunbae was surely grieving Myungha.

#haha joke on me i made myself teary writing this #love for love's sake comments #love for love's sake meta #love for love's sake #dropthemeta #kbl #korean bl #bl drama #bl series #tw suicide #tw death

[mrs-snape5984]

“Rescue my heart, I'm deep underground…”

“I'm crashing and I'm burning, so reach out your hand to me…” (“Rescue my heart” by Liz Longley)

First of all: this is going to be a very personal post, full of pathetic self-pity and misery…so if you’re feeling triggered by that or by a whiny, overdramatic middle aged woman….stop reading. Seriously.

I’m using my tumblr blog as some kind of personal diary…combining art with my own thoughts and emotions. Sadly, I have not a single spark of talent in my fibres, so I’m always looking for the right artists here on tumblr, who can help me to make my ideas come to life graphically (ignoring the melting of my savings).

I reached out to @madfantasy again for this very personal piece of art. Mani, my dear friend, you’re the only person, who’s perfect for my most personal, very raw requests. You created something so beautiful…so right out of my heart! I can’t describe, how grateful I am for your understanding of my ideas…for your talent…for your kind soul. 🖤 Thank you, love!

My life with ME/CFS sucks. I’m apologising for my harsh words and my lack of gratitude towards life itself, but that’s just how I’m feeling!

I know, I should rather be grateful for the things in my life, which I wouldn’t want to miss. I have three wonderful children, I have a few very good friends (in real life and - thanks to tumblr - also online). But…on some days (and these are actually pretty prominent at the moment), I just hate my life as it is now.

I’m spending my whole days in the darkness of my room, not capable of leaving the house (and often even my bed) without getting disoriented by the overstimulation of my mind and the exhaustion of my body. I can’t stand more than one person in my room…otherwise my brain can’t handle the noise and the movements of others. I can’t go to my workplace anymore…and I really loved my job! I can’t stay in contact with people properly, because most people don’t understand, why I’m not answering their messages or phone calls. I’m too exhausted and too overwhelmed with those things. Reading? Watching TV? Well, not for me anymore (at least for the most days) Every little bit too much (sometimes the smallest things!) leads me into the next “crash” of my disease…resulting in fevers, pain, loss of mental and physical capabilities…up to losing consciousness. Every fucking time!

All I want is to scream…scream my lungs out to let the pain and grief go! I want to scream out all those feelings of misery, which I’m only bottling up every day! But I know…just like talking…it would only cause another crash. Each crash is dragging me further down…and there’s no possibility of digging my way out of this again.

So, for this raw piece of art, I wanted the only person, who had never left me over the past 21 years, to hold me. Hold me, Severus…keep me safe…be my haven! Let me scream and cry and help me to find a way out of this hell…I’m begging you…

🖤 Severus & Julia 🖤

#i love severus #severus x oc #fuck me/cfs #Severus is my safe haven #i want to scream #personal shit #let it all go #severus snape #mani is wonderful #mani is our safe space #severus snape fan art #snart #severus fanart #severus snape art #snape art

[victoriadallonfan]

@ssordin

See, first off, this is the first I'm hearing of people not particularly like his backstory. Is it a tumblr fandom thing? That's sort of neat.

Secondly, I LOVE Cradle as a character. I love how smarmy he is, I love how he plans to blackmail and extort EVERYONE he meets, and I love his stupid hand puns.

I think he serves a lot of purposes, but I think I'll stick to just 3 for brevity's sake:

He's the analogue to Victoria's worst impulses and desires that she never acts on. Manipulating people onto his side just to secure his position, cutting himself off from all his support when he needs it most because it might impede him, and chasing after the cause of his trauma for pure revenge. There are pieces of this seen in Diary!Victoria for sure, but Victoria has moments where she wishes that she could just have Amy gone, but never acts on it.

He's meant to be everything that Victoria thought Tattletale was... and Tattletale thought the same. The story puts a LOT of emphasis on Tattletale clearly having sympathy for the cluster and how she highlights Cradle as the "sane, stable one" multiple times. Even when he's going to chop her into pieces, she tries to reason with him, and he shuts that down instantly now that the mask was off. Which is fitting because HIS thinker power is the fanon!version of Tattletales, able to see weakness in people, and that aided his ability to mold himself into someone she WANTED to see (also helped by clusters messing with her power). The way he planned to use March as a manipulated scapegoat is close to exactly how Victoria imagined Tattletale swayed Taylor and Foil to "the dark side", even.

He's a fascinating exploration into a different kind of relapse than Amy. Amy relapsed because of her inability to face her guilt and acknowledge the consequences of her actions are not hers to control anymore. She ultimately finds a path to therapy by having Flashbang (with Sveta/TT/Vic helping) and Darnall get her into a position where she has to hold those realities in her mind as a responsible human being. Cradle is the opposite. He knows what he wants to do is wrong. Not just in how he plans to torture Rain to death or betray his teammates, but that he plans to purposely harm everyone who's in his way to do so. And he's fucking smart enough to know how to manipulate plausible deniability, by having his minions use his weapon first or extorting people with crises so that they can't refuse. To be clear, he has absolutely every right to be so traumatized. Absolutely valid, especially after all the effort he put into being "normal" (even though it started from a place of blackmail). But the way he parses it after is that he's upset that he wasn't rewarded for being good. The realization that karma truly did not exist, that all that effort doesn't mean anything in a world where everyone has free will, and that means being hurt.

Like Victoria says, he fucking sucks at coping.

But we got a badass fucking hand mecha, so it's a win in my book.

#parahumans #wildbow #ward #ward web serial #wardblr #Cradle #Ryan

[kiyocuck]

kiyotaka tumblr user ramble

was thinkinf about this yesterday and i think ive cracked the idea of taka having tumblr, im an absolute genius and you will hear me out Okay

basically hes like a gimmick tumblr account that got famous for posting specific stuff and being Odd about it

the things he posts are like 5000 word posts just talking about his day in excruciating detail, talking about his studies and whatnot. it feels *weird* reading it bcuz hes describing oddly specific things like what he uses to clean his boots or whatever but its still Somewhat normal-ish.

he gets asks and replies to them with some unrelated tangent, some people ask him if hes autistic and hes like That is a very interesting question, I have actually done research in my spare time, because alot of my acquaintances are on the "Spectrum", and one of them, who thinks hes some 'Overlord of Ice', threw his pet hamsters at me and they scratched me on the face, and I had to go to the nurse in case he did not vaccinate them, I did not want to get rabies potentially, and-

basically letting his thoughts out without needing to sound like hes lecturing someone, he treats his blog like a diary and barely even realizes just how much attention he gets bcuz he logs in to post and then logs out

Occasionally, however, he will post something like "I cannot do this anymore I hate my life" and right after that he will post again "Apologies for the previous post, I was unmedicated, I am okay now. Anyway," and start talking about his studies again or whatever. and the funniest part is that he will not delete any sudden episode posts like that. he knows he can delete posts, but he doesnt think its worth hiding anything, which is why if he makes One grammar mistake in the 4 pages essay long posts, he will just reblog it correcting the ONE error like "*you're. I misspelled, sorry." and you are left to go look for that mistake he made in the first place

he will occasionally turn his posts into vents or nonsensical rambles like "I was reading a book about self-care recently, it was very informing. One of the chapters said 'It's important to have people in your life to support you'. Why does no one love me? Who should I rely on for support? What is wrong with me?" and people will reblog it like OP are you alright you can talk to us:( and he'll be like I'm perfectly okay dont ask me questions please (<-about to have another episode)

this turned out a bit depressive but take it in a funny way okay i just like to think about him alot even though i hate him and want him to die again by My hands

#danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #kiyotaka ishimaru #danganronpa 1 #danganronpa post idk #should i mention now i headcanon him having bpd or #kiyotaka ishimaru bpd haver is real if you think about it SAME AS MONDO IM SO SMART GUYS

[demtarou]

Revali :(

I played BOTW hundreds of hours just because of you. Every time I was done playing for the day I went back and saved at Rito Village, usually on Revali’s landing

When I was on your fandom I met many people and the art I made of you still is to this day my most popular art. And I still sell stickers of you on Redbubble very often.

I used your ability in the game as often as I could to hear your voice whenever it was ready again, I carried your bow with me always, and made sure of always having a diamond to make it again as soon as it broke.

I watched your cutscenes dozens of times, I enjoyed every second of your sections in the DLC, I cried at the cutscene when you get the picture of the Champions, I read your diary so much I almost memorized it.

I rushed you in Age of Calamity and play only with you.

I like Revali’s story even more now that I know he remains being the one hero of the Rito that made himself a Champion with hard work and training. He didn’t have any ties to anyone important, just a dream and the conviction to follow it.

Apart from being one of the most complex characters in BoTW. I think he would be sad knowing that nobody ever mentions him again, but happy to see what his town and his people are up to now. He mentioned in his diary that he wanted to learn so he could teach the new generations so I’m sure he’d be proud of Tulin. And at the end of the day he would accept being lost in time knowing that he helped his people when he could and now they’re fine.

I love this character a lot and when I noticed he wasn’t in ToTK, not even mentioned it made me sad.

But nothing made me sadder than arriving to the town and reading the sign that still says “Revali’s landing”.

He never felt more dead than now. His absence now really feels like that of a person who isn’t around anymore. Despite being dead for 100 years in BOTW.

Bit it doesn’t matter that he’s not mentioned in the game now. I came to Tumblr to see if people felt like me and I found many who do and that makes me happy :) people likes him and remembers him as a character in the fandom. That is better than anything else

(This sounds really serious, I’m sorry I just love this character so much. I engage with characters emotionally in a weird way jshshsh)

In loving memory of Revali, the Champion of the Rito

#Revali

[bunchofdogstuff]

A work in progress.

(( this is the first time I post something on tumblr... I hope it reaches someone! ))

(( Please let me know what you think! ))

It will start right at the North Pole.

Predictions from the distant past failed to calculate the exact point of impact, but modern technology has made things so, so easy… we can pinpoint the precise spot where the first lightning bolt will fall, even if we can’t do anything to stop it.

The sensors will go awry, the entire world will take notice for a moment. A lightning bolt? On a perfectly starry night? Where did it come from? Questions that will stall the minds of the brightest minds in the world, while disaster spreads through the ice fields, crawling so close to the floor, devouring everything on its way.

The Loathsome Mist will return, and with it, the shadows of the beings we stole this world from, so long ago that no one remembers anymore.

The Second Sacrifice will begin, and this time there’s no unlikely hero, no charitable soul to stop it as its core.

As time draws near to the end of the world, and all my attempts to stall it crumble to dust, I am faced with a choice.

I can either brave this alone, and pray to the stars that I find a solution like I did almost six hundred years ago… or I can submit, and seek his aid.

I’d rather die and take the whole world with me than having to talk with that pusillanimous buffoon again.

So I guess I am on my own.

Diary of Mustafá, the Witch. Entry Number 882.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My heart is beating so hard, it feels like it could just jump straight out of my throat in any second now. My lungs are on fire, my neck and my arms hurt as I get up. I can feel my own blood flowing from my arm and falling on the floor, mixing with the magic flowing in the air. Green, purple, golden, red, I can’t distinguish them as they swirl and dance… and I can’t really stop and marvel at it. Not with this sense of impending doom on my back.

I try to get my bearings, after all I hit my head real hard on my fall down the stairs. The stairs! I am standing on the stairway of the apartment complex where I’ve lived for the last three years. It’s dark, pitch black in fact, and yet I can perfectly see my blood dripping and my favorite hoodie being ruined by it.

It’s a very small space, barely having any room for an extinguisher on every floor. Ah, that’s right, and I’ve seen several extinguishers already, so I must have gone down a few floors. I started on floor eight, and I am on floor…

With some of the blood on my fingers I paint the walll, illuminating some of it with the bright color of pure magic.

3rd Floor.

I fell five floors straight!? No way, I must have run a little at least… run… run from…

The sound of steps interrupts me. They are slow, calm, she’s getting closer. She knows I don’t have the physique to run nor the knowledge to somehow disappear myself. And yet I push myself to start trotting down the stairs again, no point in trying to hide from her! 

As I go, I furiously tap on my phone, sending messages to the Fellowship. It’s not like any of them can help me now but, at least they can make sure to save whatever we can from the work before she takes it from my cold, dead hands.

xXxNoCookieLikeBIGCookiexXx:  SHE’S CHASING ME, 82 IS CHASING ME.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: WHAT. OMG RUN, RUN!!!! O.o

jeepers creepers man: what do you mean “chasing you”???

xXxNoCookieLikeBIGCookiexXx: SHE’S CHASING ME, SHE APPEARED IN MY HOUSE AND IS NOW CHASING ME.

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: TAVY-CHAN RUUUUN!!!

jeepers creepers man: ok ok, calm down, calm down.

jeepers creepers man: i assume you tried to talk to her and it went poorly

xXxNoCookieLikeBIGCookiexXx: CAN’T TALK RUNNING

jeepers creepers man: ok ok, fuck, hmmm…

ケンジー・イズ・マイ・ワイフ!!!: I’M GONNA WAKE UP CANNY-KUN HE’LL KNOW WHAT TO DO

GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: shit shit SHIT I knew this was going to happen man

GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: she’s gonna come for us next guys you better get ready. 

I don’t have time for this.

With a loud sigh I jam the phone in my pocket and stop running, panting, gasping for air and fighting for my life as I reach the door of the bottom floor. I didn’t even notice how her steps were no longer echoing in the stairway, I was just desperate to push that door and look for an exit. 

Only to find her standing right there, a bored look on her face and her hand raised in my direction. The Alchemist was a head smaller than me, at least! But her tiny frame commanded a strange, powerful presence. Her skin was dark, darker than mine at least! But what really caught my attention from the very start were her eyes: unnaturally golden, wide awake and yet so dull, dead. 

“End of the line, Octavia.” Her cold, emotionless voice makes me shiver. “Give me the book or I’ll take it from you.”

“C-Can’t we discuss this?”

“You don’t want a part in this game, kid. If this is the only way to make you understand, so be it.”

Green, purple and golden, the octarine light of magic, flowed through the Alchemist’s veins and straight to her hand. I have no idea what she has in mind but I do not want to just wait and figure that out. I raise my own hand, throwing it down as I jump back into the stairway. I may not be powerful enough to cast a proper fire, but I know how to make smoke.

"GOLTHOI!"

I don’t know why I yelled, it just felt appropriate. There’s a very small yet loud explosion,  as if something had broken on the floor between us, and then a thick cloud of smoke expanded and covered the whole door. As I fall back, I can feel something brush past me, mere inches from my head. A ball of green light that breaks into pieces of glass on the wall behind me, surely aimed at my face before my little gambit.

This woman wants to kill me.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Oh I’d make it as hard as I could. As I ran back up the stairs without really thinking where I will hide from this crazed Alchemist, I can’t help but look back and wonder how I ended up here. To think that a few months ago I would have simply kneeled and submitted my life at the first chance to end it all… 

And now here I am, running for my life, clinging to my backpack with all the strength I can muster and pushing my body far beyond its pathetic limits just so I can continue pushing my nose where it doesn’t belong. 

Truly, the life of a translator really is non-stop excitement.

#writing #writeblr #writblr #creative writing #original writing #amwriting #urban fantasy

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i’ve heard english majors say pt. 17

-not capitalizing I’s in poetry was a moment in tumblr history but that moment is gone and we don’t have to do that anymore 

-have you ever killed off a main character in any of your stories?

Like physically?

-I’m almost done with this stupid discussion post and then I’m gonna go for a stupid walk before I make any more stupid decisions about my stupid life

-I read over 55 poems for the lit mag and I read 46 pages of an 18th century diary for my American revolution class and yet the most productive thing I’ve done today is adding “Scarborough” to my list of name for future pets

-what’s my specialty? Prose-poetry nonfiction vignettes about the generation z experience 

What the fuck? 

-go to class, just don’t run into a guy who you ask to be the father of your children on the way there 

-we’re running on poet time, so the event is gonna go late for sure

-killing off a main character is so original that it’s unoriginal. Living people can make you cry too, John Green and Suzzanne Collins and me

-I’m all concept, no practicality

-someone pry the word slay from my cold dead hands

-I don’t know why I like poems that are, like, gross

-not to be a prude but I would have liked the poem more if it was in a more traditional format

-most shitty poetry of this era can be traced back to the grip that milk and honey had on us for a good year there

-this piece looks like it was mauled by a thesaurus

-don’t look at me using slash marks in a poem it’s a stylist choice and it isn’t cliche yet

-I can hardly keep living at all, in any condition

-I’ve been at college for two and a half years, I know how to bullshit for 10 pages

-I changed what I was going to read six or seven times since we started this open mic–

*deafening* MOOD

-ugh, is it really necessary to submit portfolios for job positions with literary magazines? 

Everyone: YES

-yeah, Buzzfeed used to be into deep long-form journalism. And now it’s not. 

-hey, there’s no mirrors in your apartment

Well duh 

-honey, I’m an English major with minors in political science and American studies, critiquing the American Dream is what I do 

-English majors love to read right that’s what we all say even though we don’t 

-I should really go get a green-colored juice so I eat a vegetable 

-the idea of a very hungry spider patrolling our house is terrifying but also like. Kind of on brand for us

-I titled my creative nonfiction collection “The Hauntings and Homelands of One-Cent Treasures” and I need you to be proud of me that I came up with a title at all

That’s literally so sexy 

-if you tell the teacher that it’s my turn to talk, I will kill myself in front of you

Don’t do that, then I’d have to write a poem about you

You’re welcome

-don’t you get free tuition if your roommate kills themselves?

Is that written down somewhere?

-are we all just unstable then?

We’re creative writing majors, there’s some sort of preamble there to not be okay

-an undergrad never asks for permission. We walk into rooms and say we should be here

#college #college student #still tagging this as shit i've heard high schoolers say #college life #college humor #college memes #college problems #school memes #school humor #student humor #student life #studyblr #gen z humor #gen z problems #gen z life #writer problems #writing #writing prompt #english majors

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - June 2023: peonyblossom

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @peonyblossom We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: peonyblossom Blog Masterlist AO3

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Peony, Jay, or Ethan

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing Choices when it was first introduced after I saw the promos on HSS and HWU. Ofc the first book I played was High School Story!! 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices fandom because of Thomas Hunt LMAO. After playing the Thomas dates in HWU, I looked him up on Tumblr to see if there was any fan content, and there was (HUGE shoutout to @lovealexhunt and @gutsfics because their works were the first ones I saw). Through following a few Thomas Hunt fan accounts, I found some other stuff in the fandom, like CFWC, and decided to read some other really popular stories, and it just snowballed lol.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I wanted something that wasn’t fandom-specific so I could post content for any of the many fandoms I’m in. And peonies are my favorite flower! 

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

The first first post in my archive is a reblog of a One Direction fanfic. My first original post was about the show Miraculous Ladybug. 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Ooh. A long time. Sixth or seventh grade, so nine or ten years? 

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite Choices book is America’s Most Eligible, but my favorite book to write about is Red Carpet Diaries/Hollywood U. I think I just like reading and writing about stories in the film industry since that’s what I do, lol. 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

Waiting Game / peonyblossom / AO3

I still like it! But, if I were writing it today, I would probably make it third person instead of first. It’s still cute, though!

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Okay, probably a tie between What If It’s Now? and Love Lost.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I think there are a few I thought would’ve gotten a little more attention when I first posted them, but by now, I don’t really think that anymore. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

FLUFF. I mean, I pretty much only write fluff right now; I just love it so much! 

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh yeah. I think I see myself the most in my RCD/HWU MC, Jackie. In the HWU Universe, she’s a film student, like me, and in both universes, she’s an actor, like me! 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Finding the time to do it 🥲 Other than that, probably just get started. I tend to psych myself out, especially with bigger projects. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So. Many.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

It depends on who it is, but I’d probably let them. As for what I’d recommend, it also depends on the person. Honestly, might just send them my AO3 and let them decide ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

Probably more than I know! I’m sure there are plenty of authors who influence me subconsciously. But, I would say I tend to be influenced by classic novels like The Great Gatsby and The Picture of Dorian Gray.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Forever Sounds Perfect! I would love to just watch Ethan propose to Sydney 🥺

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yeah! I mostly do screenwriting, but I also do fiction and poetry writing. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Hiking, reading, and yoga!

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

🥰 or 🫶

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #writer of the month #peonyblossom #june 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

[beatleskinkmeme]

Ides of March-a-thon Master Post

Please check out these fics and leave a comment!

want me when i'm not there by @backbenttulips

Paul cheats on Linda with John and she's fucking furious about it. Give me a fic where she behaves in a normal way instead of reacting like a McLennon shipper or saying "that's nice honey" and accepting an unfair scenario where Paul can have a boyfriend but if she had one he'd go batshit. PLEASE lots of Paul making pathetic excuses ("I said I wouldn't have other women! It was only blowjobs!") and her being the boss she is. PERSECUTE THAT MAN.

The Rockingham Club Mystery by WordsofLove42

Paul/Robert, Paul reporting to Robert about his time with another man (Robert had been his only male partner up to then) and telling him all the things that were similar and different about the experience. Maybe Robert feels a bit smug and maybe also a bit inspired?

Silly Girl by @bluewater9

John and Paul's relationship as told through Martha's perspective :3 Yes I know she's a dog but this is fiction so who cares.

I Can't Tell You But I know it's Mine by @aquarianshift

We don't get enough starrison. After a long stressful day at the studio, George goes to Ringos house after. Ringos pent up and George just looks delicious.

I Don't Care Too Much by @notgrungybitchin

John trying to be a sugar daddy in Paris but he and Paul are lowkey broke.

The Jumper by @merseydreams

John and Paul always shared clothing. After the break-up, John sees a picture of Denny Laine wearing one of the shirts that Paul and John had shared! He decides that is unacceptable and goes to a Wings show to get it back.

Plant a Seed by skua

John fuck Paul in his gay little sailor outfit from those Miami pics.

well, how did I get here? by @theoldmixer

McLennon crossover with 13 Going on 30. John goes to sleep one night when the Beatles were still struggling and he wakes up in the early 70s to find out he got everything he wanted and is one of the most famous musicians in the world but he doesn’t understand why he and Paul aren’t friends anymore….

i can only speak my mind by Paisanas

Someone in John’s staff sells his diaries to the press in the 70s. They’re printed in the papers. They contain his feelings about Paul. They are him pining over Paul. Paul reads them.

Brother Dearest by @javelinbk

AU where Mimi and Jim get married and John and Paul are stepbrothers (stepbrothers who are attracted to each other)

Managing Expectations by @pauls1967moustache

Paul and Brian cross paths on a night out at the clubs. After a mixture of several drinks/substances, and the subsequent effect of severely lowering the pair’s inhibitions, Paul begins to question Brian about his relationship with John. [How far Paul pushes the discussion and the extent of what Brian reveals are both up to the author. Tone and any pairing involving the three also up to the author.]

Content to Whisper by @adriansfrombrooklyn

I would love a peek inside J&P’s minds when they were playing pyramus and thisbe. You know, must’ve been interesting to play the lover of the person you secretly loved

you gave me the word by tarenas

John/Paul telepathy - they accidentally start hearing each other’s thoughts at random

oh, what a night by @two-gurus-in-drag

John and Paul have sweaty euphoric sex after the impromptu obertauern gig they did while filming Help!

No I in Threesome by @with-eyes-closed

i would love george finding out he has a daddy kink and just being like "god damn it, i thought i was the only one of us who didn't have some kind of daddy issues"

John, I'm Only Dancing by @skylikeaflame

After Paul almost falls off the building during the Mad Day Out photo shoot, John freaks out. They have it out and fuck tenderly.

**This will be updated as we get more fics!

**Also I wasn't sure of everyone's tumblr so if you want me to tag your tumblr please let me know!

#mod post #fic a thon #master post #filled prompts

[luanneclatterbuck]

Lately I’ve been craving new flavors. Not like the newest XXTREME BOLD Doritos flavor, but old, real flavors. I want to grow all the herbs and taste all the spices. I want to grow thyme and oregano and pineapple sage and really know what they taste like, not just the dried version in the grocery store spice aisle. I want to go to my local spice shop and buy all the weird and exotic spices I’ve heard about but never tasted, then move on to the ones I’ve never heard about. I want to taste all the delicate nuances of real food that I feel as a society, most of us have forgotten. The green, the earthy, the pungent, the floral…

…

I’ve slowly been moving toward simplifying everything in my life. More manual, less automatic. More physical, less digital. Lately when there’s a bored moment that I’d usually reach for my phone and mindlessly look at things that don’t really actually matter, i’ll read my book, or work on my afghan, or grab a cookbook and find something new to try.

…

I’m so bored with digital, influencer “content” and seeing the worst of humanity caught on video. People doing things just to get people to look at them for a second, then completely forget them the second they scroll to the next video of someone doing something mean or attention seeking. The bad news of yet one more way our government(s) is failing us all. People getting angry and starting fights and being offended about things that don’t just aren’t worth it. I just can’t take anymore.

Sit on a porch, or in a backyard, or in a park. Read a book. Plant some food. Put on a record. Make a dish you’ve never eaten before if only to try it just once. Try a new craft or skill. Take a walk. These kinds of things are the only things that really have any appeal to me lately. When my phone gives me my weekly screen time update every weekend, I love seeing it say, “your screen time is down _% from last week.”

I’m old. I’m bored with other people’s opinions of me and every goddamn other thing. The internet is exhausting and has pushed me away… and I’m kind of ok with that. In fact I’m really ok with that.

(Yes, I can see the irony of putting thoughts like this in a tumblr post, but this place has always been more of a diary for me, not self-promotion. I’m an internet old and remember the days of just like… meeting people and having fun. There isn’t a lot of that anymore.)

#it could be the depression has turned me against internet culture #or internet culture has contributed to my depression #but most likely it’s both #lol ouroboros

[dominic-sessa]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

#maybe i should start a formal tag for posts like this too heheh #*

[fullsunstrawberry]

I was wondering if you have any tips for someone who wants to start writing ff? Like how do you come up with the storylines and do you ever get writers block from it? How do you get rid of it? Sorry for bothering you, I just want to start writing, but I don’t know how to start.

(I really love nice guy btw and I hope you have a great day!!❤️)

never a bother!! literally ask me ANYTHING YOU WANT

most of the time I get my storylines from thoughts i had before going to bed, i suggest a dream diary (you can even write them down in your notes app) i write down every single idea i have throughout the day because i never know if i want to expand on it :)

with actual writing i usually do that on google docs because i can go back and see all my past edits if i want to. but with my smau’s i use social dummy (but i don’t think you can get that anymore so if you want recs for other things click here)

another way i come up with story lines is this tumblr user @euthymiaaa they post prompts and sometimes they spark some inspo

i always have writers block lol, i usually talk to one of my friends about my stories and she will come up with other things i can expand on :) just having a buddy who won’t judge ((if you don’t have one I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE))

im glad you liked nice guy (was my most controversial story so far) ‼️ with smau’s i never have a SET ending, i like going with the flow :)

#really hope this helps #i love helping <3 #lovely anon #love yah <3

[cartograffiti]

Thank you Claire from Schuler Books: some data for Queen's Thief fans

The tl;dr of this post is that QT is having an unprecedented surge of interest right now, and I used GoodReads to deliver some facts and figures to the Discord (The Geninsula), and now to Tumblr!

Under the cut: sources of the uptick, beautiful numbers, and a couple fun excerpts from recent reviews.

Part 1: selling out is good

We can actually track the start of the surge back to 2020's publication of Return of the Thief, because the series being complete got it a lot of positive press, but the activity of the past couple months (especially February-now, I'm writing on May 31 2022), has been another thing entirely.

RotT, and Disney+ optioning The Thief, has meant we're getting a lot of new international editions. The UK is getting a beautiful release of new editions in paperback and audiobook. The series is being translated into Spanish and Italian for the first time, and we know in The Geninsula of translations underway into Hebrew and Bangla. (Parts of the series have previously been released in at least 15 languages, but until now only Romanian had kept up with the whole set.) MWT is currently on a tour of Italy and the UK to promote these new editions, and a number of giveaways and influencer spotlights were arranged by publishers to get The Thief | Il ladro in readers' hands.

In March, the independent bookstore Schuler Books (not, as it has often been misreported, a library or Barnes & Noble) *posted a TikTok* of some of their staff showing off books they wish they could read for the first time, again. (It's adorable, click the link if you haven't seen it.) This TikTok went viral, now with 17.5 million views, and it opens with Claire talking about The Thief.

Only two weeks later, The Thief was sold out in US paperback. I'm talking gone. Even Amazon cannot get you a new copy of either the 2017 (Joel Tippie) or 2005 (Vince Natale) covers anymore, previously readily available, let alone older ones. They have to reprint it! In the meantime, the Steve West audiobook seems to be doing very well, and the hardcover unremarkably. Several Geninsula members who are members of large library systems have reported long waitlists typical of bestsellers. I wholly attribute this attention to Claire. Claire is the best, our hero!

Lots of recent reviews (see below) also said Laini Taylor suggested it, but if there's a specific recent source for that (she's a known fan of long standing), I can't find it. Let me know if you know!

Part 2: GoodReads is useful sometimes

So GoodReads *has this nice feature* where they rank the top 200 books from each publishing year, with #1 being the one their users have most interacted with, and refresh it monthly [Edit: this was a mistype, it’s weekly]--so you can see which books of the same age have remained or become popular as of this month [Edit: week]. This does not mean it only accounts for what was interacted with within that month [Edit: week], just that it's that up to date.

Right now, The Thief is number 14 out of all of 1996. The books that beat it are all truly famous things like Bridget Jones's Diary, Angela's Ashes, Fight Club, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (The only book ranked above it that hasn't been adapted for film is Neverwhere, which has received a radio play with a high-profile cast. [Edit: ...And is itself a novelization of a TV series.] [Edit: Infinite Jest has been a play, but not filmed.] I am making direct eye contact with Mickey Mouse.) Some of the other series marketed as fantasy it beats out include entries from Tortall, Discworld, The Witcher, and Redwall.

The Queen of Attolia is the only other one that is currently on the top 200 list for its year, but it's 77, above more Tamora Pierce, a boxset of A Song of Ice and Fire, and buzzy authors like Julia Quinn and Junji Ito.

The fact that a second book is ranking this high tells us people are currently working their way through the series in honestly what has to be large numbers. I won't be surprised if later books start ranking in the coming months.

It also tells us people really are actively reading them, not just marking the first one as possibly interesting--lots of users don't mark sequels as to-read until they've read the first, or the preceding one, etc.

Now, with the books ranked this high, how much interaction does that represent? Well, The Thief has 77,921 ratings, and 236,000+ shelvings, and considering that finishing without rating is somewhat uncommon…that's about 150,000 users who are planning to read, or currently reading, this book. The same math for QoA is less dramatic--about 20k people have it on the agenda--but when 20k is 50% of its all-time ratings, that's...still an explosion.

This of course only represents the people who a) use GoodReads and b) keep up with their to-be-read list there, so this is only a fraction of readers in general who are likely to read it in the near future.

Part 3: The reviews are in

Giveaways of advance reader copies in the UK led to a burst of reviews in February, which were a bit puzzling to read through, as a number of them seemed to me to have come from people who did not know the genre or even the age market for the book when they entered for it, and hadn't actually been drawn to the story therefore.

A much more striking wave of reviews came later, as the UK, Spanish, and Italian readers began to interact with it organically, and a large burst of people who specifically said they'd picked it up because of Claire from Schuler Books. (Or, more often, "A TikTok with a cute librarian [sic].") These reviews have the usual range of reactions, but an overall level of enthusiasm I feel is high.

Laini Taylor was the second-most successful recommender. Many people compared The Thief favorably to Rick Riordan, Leigh Bardugo, GRR Martin, and Sarah J. Maas. (This was the first time I'd seen the series pitched to SJM's fans! I haven't read her work, but hadn't thought it was in a similar niche.) I was delighted to see several people calling it the best fantasy of travel and landscape they've read since JRR Tolkien!

The apparent age range of reviewers is quite wide, which reflects my experience of the fandom, where I've regularly chatted with people from 13 to their 60s, and likely older. There were some very cute reactions from reviewing tweens and teenagers who said that they were surprised such an OLD book from the nineties held up.

Some other book trend remarks I found interesting: lots of surprise there was no romance, including some people who, looking for a potential romance among the traveling party, proposed both Gen/Sophos (fine) and Gen/the magus (insane, thank you so much, I have questions.) A number of people who remarked that they were pleased to find a fantasy that wasn't "too fantastical," lots of positivity about feeling it had a "timeless" style, and one person who said they have found it difficult to find engaging recent YA books with boy protagonists.

Delightful excerpts from reviews of TT:

a novel that is a credit to the English language.

I loved the world MWT created, had it been an artwork it would perhaps have been more Claude Monet than Michelangelo

[Original review in Spanish, from Argentina] Gen is the best thing that has ever happened to me

The Thief also pairs very nicely with cheese and dried fruit.

The importance of narrators:

I'm giving this a 5 star rating because I listened to it as an audiobook and the narrator sounds like Henry Cavill and I have a crush on him. So, 5 stars.

And my favorite reaction to The Queen of Attolia:

This is shockingly...kinky???

Okay, thanks for reading! I'm really excited, since it looks like the fandom is in the process of...tripling? Something like that. If you have news about how the book is being promoted, or new translations/re-releases, I'd love to hear!

#Queen's Thief #The Queen's Thief #Megan Whalen Turner #The Thief #The Queen of Attolia #bookblr #long post