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#i know this old but i still can't get over it
heartfullofleeches · 10 hours
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Deerboy Yan who tries to get himself caught in cannibal hunter reader's nets so they'll take him back to their home where they'll hopefully have their way with him and keep him as their pet-
"Ahhh- Help! I was walking home all by myself when I felt into this net. It's getting dark soon- Somebody, please save me."
The switch of a pocket blade slices through the still night air. His ears twitch as a twig snaps somewhere in the darkness brooding over his shoulder. Exhilaration draws at the corner of his lips as a voice rasps out- eerily calming as it is dreadfully familar. Like a second kiss with death.
"These traps aren't for you, Deer."
A single cut is all it takes for the net to come crashing to the forest floor.
"Not enough meat on your bones for me. You aren't exactly my preferred choice of meat to start off with."
The deer claws his way out of the net's opening. The drop wasn't too steep, and he needed to act quick. He's been in enough of your safer traps to know his way out - nine times out of ten. Dragging his nails and body through the dirt, the net's rope tangles around his hooves as he struggles. The hybrid tries to kick it off till near exhaustion- flopping onto his back as he kicks his tied legs in the air for you to see.
"But look at what how clumsy I am. It would be so easily for you to drag me back to your house like this.... Using me for hours till I can't fight back anymore when you finally decide to free me."
You turn to walk away.
"You know I think I'd be good bait for other humans."
You stop dead in your tracks.
"A weak, helpless deer chained up in that old slaughter house. "Help, Help! They're going to kill and eat me next. Please, won't somebody save me?" Pretty convincing, right? Just think about all the meat you could have - if you just take me home with you."
A squeal of joy escapes the hybrid's lips as you grab him by the antler's - pulling him along in the direction of your cabin.
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ashhh-14 · 2 days
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Husband!Aventurine x Reader
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Synopsis: your husband came home after a month long work trip and you missed him a little too much. As an apology he offers to give you a part of himself for next time he goes away.
Warning: afab!reader, reader referred to as wife, breeding, hair pulling, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, talk of breeding, imagination of reader as a mother, degradation (use of the word 'slut' like twice), praise, gentle, rough, missionary, on all fours, face down.
A/n: went a lil overboard w this one but couldn't stop myself! Happy reading!
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"I missed you so much" you breathed as your lips parted from your husband's.
He didn't give a verbal reply as he kissed you again, his tongue exploring your cavern, running over the roof of your mouth as his fingers plunged deeper inside you.
"Yeah? You missed me, treasure?" He asked with a smile that spoke of his smugness, but that look quickly darkened as he dove into your neck, mouth sucking purple and red bruises.
"Mmh can't have your neck barren. The old ones faded." He moaned as he bit the junction between your neck and collar bone, rolling his tongue over the skin before sucking it. He released it with a pop, retracting his fingers from your pussy as he used his index finger traced around the outline, thumb pressing against your clit as you gripped the bedsheets in pleasure, arching your back as he looked down at you with a lust filled gaze.
"Even when I was surrounded by beauty all over while I was away, nothing could even hold a candle in front of my wife." He breathed, grunting as he unbuttoned the constraints of his pants, groaning in relief as his length sprang out, finally getting to breathe.
Your eyes fell on his shaft, nearly rolling back just at the sight of it. No matter how many times you saw it, felt it, let it inside, you couldn't get enough. It was always like the first time.
"Aventurine..." You whimpered in need, your hand reaching out as you unbuttoned his shirt all the way, leaving it on as he wrapped his hand with yours, climbing on top of you.
"I'm here my love" he kissed your jaw in reassurance, sliding off your bottoms completely as he gently pried your legs open.
You did it without complaint, complying as he settled in between your legs, his gaze sizing you up and down.
"You don't know how much I missed this sight." He marveled. Your hair sprawled across the pillow, eyes lidded and lips parted as you panted heavy breaths. Neck littered in bruises as your breasts heave up and down with each ragged breath you took.
You tugged at his shirt slightly, whining at your husband. "Need you. Been so long."
He chuckled, lips curving up in a sly yet fond smile. "Whatever my treasure wants, treasure gets."
You both moaned in unison as he slipped the tip in, your insides clenching so much that his tip was forced back out. You whimpered at that, looking at him with pleading eyes as he bent down to press a kiss to your forehead. "You have to relax or I won't be able to get in."
You did as told, trying your best as you took a deep breath. Aventurine straightened up, pushing your legs open further, lining his tip with your slit before plunging in with one single thrust.
He groaned at the sensation as you cried out in pain. Even if it's just been a month it was still so hard to get used to him.
He looked down at you, his thumb wiping the corners of your eyes before he placed them on the curves of your waist, placing a peck on your lips one last time. "I would have waited, treasure but I can't help myself right now."
With that he withdrew himself all the way out, Just to slam it back in once again. His pace was unforgiving as he opted for an animalistic speed, balls slapping against your skin each time he withdrew just to insert himself back in.
"Your insides forgot the shape of me. Have to remind them again who they're made for." He groaned as he threw his head back, the hands gripping your waist pulling you back down against him hips as he continued thrusting in, effortlessly making you bounce on his cock.
He halted for a moment but your soft moans didn't cease, his length throbbing violently inside you as he propped your one leg over his shoulder, kissing your ankle before he resumed his unforgiving pace.
Your moans turned to high pitched screams of his name as his cock tapped against your cervix with each thrust in this new position.
"mmh-Aventurine-" he looked down at you with his neon pink and blue hooded eyes, moaning his name oh so sensually. His eyes fell on where you two were joined which only urged him to go faster, wanting to watch more as your breasts bounced with each of his hard pumps.
"Tell me how much you missed me, Treasure" his eyes rolled to the back of his head when he heard your pathetic tone whimper in reply "So much-! T-too much! W-wwas so alone without you! Mmh~!! S-so lonely ahh-"
He urged his eyes open, gulping hard as he looked at you, his thrusts never stopping. "Let me give you a baby" He breathed.
Your eyes widened, the haze in your mind vanishing enough for you to coherent his words.
He bent down, his eyes in front of yours as he cradled your cheek in his hand, the other going to grip your thigh over his shoulder to keep it steady as to not hinder his cock from delving into your wetness. You don't know how much he'd give just to stay inside you.
"Yeah" he said breathless, kissing you with a vigour you didn't know was possible as he turned his tongue with yours, pulling away as the string of saliva broke, more drool, his drool dribbling out of your mouth. He didn't wait for a reply as his hips started slamming against yours relentlessly. "It's not fair that I have to leave you so often. Let me give you my child, an exact copy of me to keep you company while I'm away." His mind turned black as he said those words, your cunt clenching around him before releasing your essence on his dick, not being able to help yourself as you felt his words deep into your core.
His own dick throbbed as he pushed it inside your gushing cunt as deep as he could before he let go with a loud groan, his hot and thick cum burning its way inside your womb.
You laid there panting as he too struggled to catch his breath. He ran a hand along your curves as you reached up to brush his beautiful sandy locks away from his sweaty forehead.
Just when you were about to get up you felt him move again. You moaned involuntarily as you yelped in surprise "Aventurine-!"
He hummed mindlessly, slowly thrusting, feeling his cum sloshing around your insides. "Have to make sure it takes Treasure. Want to give you a family."
You moaned at that, closing your eyes and resting your head comfortably against the plush pillows as you gave in to your husband and his desires.
He slowly started picking up his pace again, putting both of your legs above his shoulders as his dick rubbed against your insides effortlessly due to his previous release.
A low growl left his throat as he saw his dick going in and out, imprinting on your lower belly on how deep he is inside you.
Placing a hand against your tummy he leaned down, his hips snapping forward as he stilled, his breath ghosting against your neck as he pressed down. "Soon there will be another part of me inside right here. I'll take good care of you and our little one." He started thrusting again. "Will nourish your insides every night with my cum. Will do my very best so that you birth a healthy baby." Your legs shook as his words snapped your last restraint, Cumming on his cock for the second time that night with a loud prayer of his name.
With a few more thrusts he followed suit, filling up your insides once more with his seed.
As a little clearing seeped in you felt that your husband was still hard...
"Aventurine.. " you said with a pleading voice, drool dripping down your chin as you looked up at him when he pulled out. Whether your tone was telling him for more or to stop, you didn't know as you were flipped onto your stomach.
His dick entered you once again, finding it's home as he gave you a moment to rest, Patting your back as he raised your ass up. "Aren't you my good little wife? Won't you do this for me?" He said with a sweet and needy tone as you buried your face into the pillow, sobs escaping your swollen lips as he once again started his abuse on your cunt.
He moaned loudly, closing his eyes. "Can reach so mmh d-deep like this. Best position to get you knocked up."
You pushed back in futile attempts to aid his thrusts, his speed was unforgiving, with the sole purpose to breed you.
He slowed down his thrusts in favour of feeling his cock drag slowly against your walls. Each thick vein ripping another whimper from your throat. He pulled back so only the tip was in, pushing back inside with such an agonizingly slow pace that you could feel him pushing his cum off the walls and inside your pussy, your womb feeling each spurt he pushed inside, your insides a little too happy at the opportunity to finally make a child as they gushed around his dick once more.
You fell on the bed with that, losing every bit of energy to keep you upright. Throat too scratchy to scream or moan anymore it settled with incoherent mumbles of your partner's name. "nnngh Avent-mh r-rine-"
As if breaking you into a dumb slutty mess wasn't enough, he started once again, plunging inside you like it'll be the last time his dick will get to seek refuge inside you.
He picked up both your wrists, placing them on your lower back and holding it in one of his large hands he started pushing inside with so much force you thought he'd rip you in half.
He groaned "My Treasure will give me a child to cherish. Will make me a father. Right my love?" He asked, his dick never ceasing its movement inside you.
When you gave no reply he looked down, fisting your hair in his other hand and making you look up at him with your fucked out expression.
"Right treasure?" He punctuated his question with the smacks of his tip on the entrance of your womb.
You nodded dubiously. But that wasn't enough. He pulled harder, making you cry out as you choked "y-yes Aven-!"
Satisfied he pushed your face back into the mattress, resuming his previous bruising pace.
He threw his head back as he felt himself get close again. "So good for letting me get you pregnant. Laying there and taking it like a good slut."
Sweat dripping down his face, his chest glistening with it as his hips moved, moulding your pussy to the shape of him. You were sure your cervix was bruised by now as you withered on the bed helplessly, incoherent and too fucked out to process anything.
He closed his eyes, the image of you welcoming him home with a big round belly, breasts too big and tender to touch as they threatened to slip from beneath the fabric flashed his mind.
That was enough to tip him over the edge, stilling his hips as his tip prodded an entrance so deep inside you that you didn't know was possible as a scream ripped out from your lungs, knocking every bit of energy out of your being as you reached the brink of passing out.
Aventurine gave a few more pumps with his tip still keeping the entrance open to make sure you took every bit of it inside.
He fell on you with an exhausted thud, slipping his arms beneath you as he rolled on his side.
Wiping his hand across your barely awake face he pushed some hair away from your forehead. Peppering your face with gentle kisses he whispered.
"I love you Treasure"
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Aventurine Masterlist
Masterlist
Written by yours truly
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erwinsvow · 2 days
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what abt shy!reader sleeping over at rafes for the first time?? 😊😊
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you'd been so nervous, slathering way too much frosting onto chocolate cupcakes while rafe told you the agenda he'd planned for tonight's date. in between mentions of dinner at this restaurant he liked on the water and stopping to get some ice cream before the outdoor movie, he'd thrown in a sentence that made your heart thud in your chest.
"unless you wanna come watch a movie here. we can eat all this crap you jus' made." you look up, butter knife almost slipping out of your hand.
"watch a movie.. here?"
"yeah. couch's comfy. got enough dessert to get a cavity. you can sleep over. how's that sound?"
it sounded terrifying. this was a milestone, one you needed several days and a new set of pajamas to prepare for. rafe looks down at your worried eyes, knitted eyebrows. you set down the cupcake before you drop it.
"sleep over?" you repeat it softly.
"snap out of it, kid. you don't have to." though the words feel like they should be mean, they're not. spoken with a sweetness you often found yourself wondering came naturally to your boyfriend, or if you brought it out in him. you hope for both.
"no, i want to," you correct quickly, blinking fast. "um, can you bring me home to get my stuff?"
"yeah. before dinner."
you turn back to your cupcakes with a smile, one that he stares at while you finish up. true to his word, he brings you home—you drop off a few sweets for your parents, give your kitten a treat while you pack a quick bag and grab your toothbrush. you don't change for dinner, keeping the pretty dress on until he gets you back into his bedroom later that night.
you've brought clothes to sleep in, but you hover in front of rafe's dresser still, working up the nerve to ask for one of his shirts to wear to bed. you can't seem to find it, deciding just to wear your pajamas, no matter how silly they are, when rafe opens the drawer and pulls out two shirts. he hands you one.
"get changed. m'gonna go change in the bathroom. be right back." you think you'd marry the boy if he asked right now—he seems to know your every thought before you can even finish thinking it, or figure out how to articulate it.
when rafe comes back you're a vision in one of his old frat shirts, playing with your hair while you sit on the foot of his bed.
"ready to sleep?" he asks, and you look up from your knees, smiling at him the way he wish you wouldn't sometimes, the way that makes his chest hurt with the amount of love pouring through your pretty eyes.
"what about dessert?" you ask with a laugh, smiling bigger when he rolls his eyes.
"haven't you had enough? how do you still have teeth?"
"i floss."
"shut up. get in bed." you crawl under his covers, inhaling the way everything smells like him. you lay your head down on one of his pillows, staring when he gets in next to you. "you okay?"
you love that he asks, that he cares enough to make sure.
"yeah. i'm okay."
"good. get some sleep." he doesn't say anything, but he still brings you in close to his chest, head on top of his heart, an arm around you, legs tangled together. when he thinks you're asleep, you hear the quiet sound.
"night, kid."
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woso-dreamzzz · 11 hours
Text
Head
Hardersson x Teen!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You get a concussion
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It was a rare day off for both Magda and Pernille, one they spend watching movies without a certain thirteen year old studying at the kitchen table.
It's during a small gap in choosing the next movie when Pernille gets the call.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Miss Harder. We're just calling in regards to y/n?"
Pernille sits up. "Why? Is something wrong?"
Her first thought is that you've had an anxiety attack. You haven't had one in a while. You've been happy with your school work and you've been happy with your training. But Pernille can't think of any other reason why the staff were calling her.
"I'm afraid that she caught a ball in the face a little while ago and collided with her posts," The staff member explains," We've had her checked out by the medics and it's a low-grade concussion but we're just wanting you to come and pick her up."
"Yeah, yeah, of course. We'll be right there."
Magda looks confused as Pernille drops the call, not really getting an answer until they're already in the car.
You're sitting by the receptionist when they get there, holding a cold compress to your head.
"That's quite the egg you've got there," Magda teases as she looks over the swelling," Does it hurt?"
You huff. "A little bit. Is it true I can't come back to training for ten days?"
"You can't come back until you're fully healed," Magda says," Ten days is the average. Could be up to fourteen."
You huff again, kicking your training bag in annoyance. "It's not that bad!"
"It's bad if you start getting into the habit of playing while injured," Magda replies with a pointed look," Come on, up. Let's get you home."
You stubbornly don't talk in the car, arms crossed over your chest until Pernille snaps at you for not using the icepack.
She fusses with you when you get home as you're shepherded onto the sofa and buried under blankets.
You groan when she flashes a penlight in your eyes.
"Why do you even have one of those?" You complain, trying to push her hand away.
"Who cares why?" Pernille says," Stop moving."
"They already did it at practice," You say, still trying to avoid the light," I'm fine. It's just a headache."
"Did they give you painkillers?"
"Momma," You say," I'm fine."
She gives you a look. "Magda, grab some painkillers please."
Magda rolls her eyes. "If she says she's fine then she's fine."
"That would be the case if she wasn't your daughter," Pernille argues back," You do this too, so painkillers, please, Magda."
You're practically forced to swallow down some pills before Momma and Morsa settle in with you. You lay horizontally on the sofa with your feet in Morsa's lap and your head in Momma's.
The tv is switched off due to your concussion but you can hear Morsa watching something on her phone.
You try to sit up but Momma's gentle hand in your hair forces it to remain in her lap.
"Momma," You complain," I just want to-"
"Go on your Morsa's phone, yes, I know but you know concussion protocol. No technology."
"It's unfair," You say," She's teasing me!"
"Hey!" Morsa laughs," It's not my fault you got hit in the head!"
You stick your tongue out at her and the argument goes back and forth for a while before Momma manoeuvres you to your feet.
"I don't want to nap!" You say as she pulls you up the stairs.
Pernille doesn't listen to you and, for some reason, you allow yourself to be tucked into bed. Your head pounds even though you've taken a painkiller and you reach out to grab her wrist when she moves to go.
"Momma," You say, hating how your voice suddenly sounds all weak and pathetic," Please don't go."
"Of course not, princesse," She assures you," I'm just going to turn off your light. You're silly for thinking I'm leaving you alone while you're injured."
"You're silly for thinking either of us are leaving." Morsa appears in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame as you give her a wry smile.
"Are you here to go on your phone while I can't?"
Morsa laughs. "Who do you think I am, princesse? I can't just want to take a nap with you?"
"Going by your track record? No."
She slips into bed with you, wiggling around under the covers for a moment. "Can I have some pillow?"
You turn on your side, resting your head on Momma's chest with a smug smile. "No."
"Come on! You're not even using it!"
"Why don't you use your phone as a pillow?" You taunt and Morsa groans.
"Are you really holding that against me? I'm not the one with the concussion!"
"Magda," Momma says," Stop teasing her."
"Yeah, Morsa, stop teasing me!"
"And you," Momma says," We're meant to be napping. You're hurt."
You huff. "Do I have to?"
"Yes. So close your eyes and go to sleep. Maybe if you nap, you'll heal up quicker."
You don't need much more convincing than that.
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onlyhuis · 2 days
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drenched
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member — junhui x f reader  genre — smut word count — 2.4k  synopsis — the pool isn't the only thing that gets jun all wet. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, oral (reader receiving), squirting, body worship, pussy drunk jun, mentioned that reader wears a bikini (+ other clothes), they're so horny for each other it's actually just gross notes — requested by anon for my 🐈 1k event — thanks to @onlymingyus for looking over this for me <3 sorry the synopsis is boring asdhgsj i couldnt think of a cooler one. also very very sorry again that it's taken me so long to get to these old requests but i hope you enjoy! please be sure to reblog with comments or send an ask if you liked this :)
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if there's only one thing in this world that jun is obsessed with, it's your pussy.
practically every night he comes home, throwing his bag on the chair and pulling you onto the couch, begging you to let him eat you out, just really quick before dinner, please? i'll make you cum so fast, promise, just let me have ten minutes with you.
most of the time he slides your pants down and finds you already wet, knowing the kind of mood he'll be in when he gets home. it's almost impossible to force your mind out of the gutter when you can't stop picturing him kneeling between your legs, his dark brown eyes turned even darker with lust as he watches your face and every single tiny little reaction you have to him.
it's not your fault that you really can't help it if your mind wanders during the day, sending a shiver down your spine every time you think about how desperate he is for you. he'll never pass up the opportunity to bury his fingers inside you, moaning about how good it feels to have your cunt clenching him so tight and how pretty your legs look as they tremble around him.
jun loves nothing more than how wet you get and he'll clean you up with his tongue, his cock throbbing because he knows you're like this for him and him only. he'll gladly spend hours between your legs, groaning about how you're straight out of his dreams; what other explanation could there possibly be for the fact that he gets to come home to the prettiest girl he's ever seen every single day? not only that, but that you let him play with you whenever you want? he feels like he's died and gone to heaven every time you spread your legs apart and let him spend as much time as he wants in that spot.
of course, he has other favorite things, too. he loves fucking you from behind so he can see your gorgeous ass bouncing in front of him. he loves laying back and letting you do whatever you want to him, pushing his shaft between your breasts and grinning when he covers your face in his cum. but nothing compares to having his face smushed in your pussy, his skilled tongue and long fingers reaching places inside you that you didn't even know existed before you met him.
tonight is no different than every other night that he comes home and begs for your pussy. except this time he's got one thing and one thing only on his mind, and it's going to drive him insane if he doesn't have you right this second.
the first time it happened it caught you off guard. your cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment as the drops rolled down his abs coating the both of you in liquid, your legs still wrapped around his waist when he stops thrusting. you started to apologize, until jun lets out a long, low groan and tells you don't you fucking dare apologize for the hottest thing he's ever witnessed in his whole goddamn life and now he's made it his life's mission to making you squirt as much as is physically possible.
you didn't even know you could squirt at all before jun, but he brings a side out of you that you didn't know was there. a side of you so absolutely insatiable, like an unquenchable thirst, and now that it's been unlocked you're addicted to it.
with the rising temperatures and clear, sunny skies that have come after the rain and cold, it's obvious that summer is quickly closing in. it's one of his favorite seasons for many reasons, but the main one is that hotter weather means seeing you in more revealing clothes.
he had never been the type of guy to go feral at the sight of an ankle or an exposed shoulder, but around you it's like he loses all control. the way your shorts hug your ass—jean shorts, pajama shorts, bike shorts, any and all of them. his mind goes blank and all he can imagine is your perfect pussy hidden so teasingly from his view, and he'll do anything to get a taste. teasingly, because you know exactly how he gets and you love to play into it just to make him even more riled up.
you've started buying shorts that are just a little bit too small, just a little bit tighter that show another extra inch of skin. and you grin in satisfaction every single time he tears them off of you and pushes his hand down past the waistband to feel how soaked you are… until he wipes that smile right off your face with just a simple brush of his fingers.
the same goes for your shirts, too. the crop tops that expose your tummy; he loves to run his fingers over your skin, and the short length makes it so much easier for him to slide his hands up to feel your breasts. and don't even get him started on the tank tops; he feels like a virgin all over again, unable to stop his cock from twitching in his pants. when he sees that little extra bit of cleavage sitting so perfectly.
god, he loves every fucking thing about your body. but there is, however, one downside to the summer season.
okay, so it's not exactly like they banned him from the public pool, but they did tell him (in not so nice words) to stop feeling up his girlfriend in the locker rooms, and now he's too embarrassed to ever show his face there again. which honestly is more than fine by you, because if your hand wasn't down his swim shorts jerking him off as you lazily sat beside him in a chaise lounge, then was it really even a good day?
but besides that, the problem is that he can't see you near water without thinking about making you squirt. there hasn't been a single time when you've been out on the backyard patio, drops of sweat glistening on your skin from the summer heat as you hold a garden hose in your hand watering the tomato plants, that he hasn't wanted to push you against the side of the house and take you right then and there. to curl his fingers in your pussy until his hand is more soaked than the vegetables.
or like the time you both stayed at your parents’ house for a weekend while they were on vacation. he'd found you sitting out by the pool reading your book after you've just finished swimming, and the drops of water on your thighs that hadn't yet dried from the sun had reminded him too vividly of how you looked after he made you squirt with his cock. that day you'd needed a second shower, and it wasn't from the chlorine in the pool.
if your mind is in the gutter when you think about him, then his mind is in a place further than hell when he thinks about you. 
so really, you can't blame him for tonight. you can't get mad at him after you sent him pictures of the pretty new bikini you'd bought for the upcoming cruise you were going on next month. but not just pictures of the bikini; pictures of you wearing it, your knees spread temptingly in a way that you knew for a fact would get him hard as a rock in seconds.
he's pissed, but more than that he's needy, because he already had to jerk off in the bathroom at work because he couldn't get his hard-on to go down any other way. his own fist will never compare to how good your pussy feels against his face, so it seems as good a place as any for you to start making it up to him for your bad behavior.
he barely gets the front door closed behind him before he's pushing you against the wall, his fingers clawing desperately at your sides as his lips capture yours. it's hot, he’s hot, and the temperature outside has nothing to do with it.
even the air conditioning in your house can't cool you down as he drags you by the waist to your shared bedroom, telling you it would be in your best interests to be waiting naked by the time he comes back with towels because he's not feeling very patient tonight.
you love it when he gets like this, and you grin triumphantly as you pull your panties off and leave them hanging off the edge of the bed, the glistening wet spot on them purposefully noticeable. you already know that you won't be leaving this room until the towels and sheets beneath you are equally soaked, and just the thought alone makes you dizzy. 
the grin on jun's face is wide enough to rival yours when he comes back to find you laid out so prettily on the bed, on display for him like a gourmet fucking meal.
you lift your hips for him as he spreads out a towel beneath you, kneeling at the foot of the bed with your thighs on either side of his head. just one look at your dripping folds and he's already gone, throwing your legs over his shoulders and digging his fingers into your thighs to spread you apart even more for his eager mouth.
you've had jun's mouth on you more times than you can keep track of, but every single time still feels like the first. no matter how often he does it, you don't think you'll ever be prepared for the first lick, when he flattens his tongue to cover as much of you as possible at once before he begins.
the way he immediately and easily finds your clit, sucking messily before moving lower to slide through your folds, is always enough to bring you right up to the edge, but it doesn't last. it's a constant battle between making you cum as fast as possible, or prolonging it and moving around until you can't take it even for one more second and your orgasm is ten times stronger. 
this time he chooses the latter, but you already had a feeling that that's how things would go. he's focused, honed in on your pussy; he is going to make you squirt all over his face, and if you don't think that's a guarantee, then you'd be sorely mistaken.
it's not the first time you've played this little game with him: sending suggestive photos and texting flirty messages, until you inevitably end up under him with enough orgasms to last you a week. but it's never enough to last, of course, and it's not long before you do it all over again.
he likes to act like he's teaching you a lesson, but you both have been through this routine enough times to know it's the thrill that keeps you coming back more than the need for punishment. you could always just ask him, but where's the fun in that? it's much more exciting to push his buttons and let him take over. it would almost be funny how his reaction is exactly the same every single time, if your reaction weren't also exactly the same. it's a habit you fall into together, but you wouldn't trade it for anything.
jun's fingers slide up your body, stopping at your waist to grab you and pull you harder against his nose. it's impossible not to let yourself get lost in it, moaning and threading your fingers in his hair as your pussy throbs in his mouth.
he points his tongue at your clit once more and he doesn't let up until your thighs start to shake, your breath coming out in shallow gasps. you're close and he knows it, almost even better than you know it yourself because he's spent so much time between your legs that he knows how to read your body like an open book. 
your fingers in his scalp squeeze tighter, pushing his head further into you, and he groans at the feeling. he loves how quickly you get fucked out from his mouth alone, that you’re barely even processing how roughly you're moving his head because your body is on fire from the stimulation.
he'd live and die in your pussy if he could, and that's exactly what he plans to do tonight as his tongue flicks faster and harder. he can feel the wetness already gushing out of you and he knows you're right there, ready to give him what he so desperately wants.
with one final suck to your clit you go rigid and your muscles release, whimpers and whines flowing from your lips like liquid as you cum. it drenches his face, running down his cheeks and his chin and soaking his hair.
he drinks you up like a starved man, like he's been wandering alone in the desert and finally found his oasis. your head rolls back and your body writhes under his hands, but his grip is too tight and he is far too committed on getting every last drop from you to allow you to squirm out of his grasp.
it's overwhelming nearly to the point of pain but you don't want him to stop, you desperately need him to keep going until you're drained. and that’s one of the best things about jun, is that by now he can practically read your mind and he can tell when you need more and when you don’t.
he can tell what you want without even having to ask, so he reaches up and squeezes your hand in his as he looks up from between your legs, meeting your eyes and giving you that look that makes you shiver because you couldn’t imagine anyone else but him in this position. you don’t want to stop, not yet, and he nods at you knowingly with a hazy little grin and slides his tongue right back where you want it.
he’s more than willing to spend the rest of the night kneeling in front of you until you’re spent, if that’s what you want. honestly, he’s willing to spend the rest of his life there, too.
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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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redeyegrl · 1 day
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☆ it’s a prank ; jude bellingham
vlogger gf and bf!jude
authors note: this is a reblog from my old acc. rip to her :( !! enjoy <3!!
you and jude were visting your home city in states and today you were both heading out to shop for your next vacation spot. both agreeing to leave at this very moment to pick up some items from the mall, you quickly made your way to the car first with your vlogging camera, to then quickly holding up the camera getting ready to talk to your subbies. you start the video off telling your subscribers about todays video idea you had in mind.
"alright guys, jude is still inside so that gives me a few minutes to tell you guys todays prank" you excitedly state.
"today's prank is definitely going to be an easy prank, and a prank i know jude is for sure going to enjoy" you say playfully rolling your eyes. "but, today i am going to do the "i can't stop kissing my boyfriend prank" you say rubbing your hands together like an evil villain.
"jude thinks that were just going to be vlogging today at the mall, but really he's about to be kissed up a storm" you finish explaining, nervously laughing in the end. 
as you continue to talk to the camera, you catch your world famous footballer boyfriend already walking out the house getting ready to get inside the car. "oh snap he's coming, he's coming" you whisper, quickly adjusting yourself to seem as if everything was going on normally.
jude opens up the door to the rented black lamborghini urus and gets himself inside the car.
"saw you talking to the camera. already starting the video without me?" he says pulling down the seatbelt. "yeah yeah, just chatting about what were going to be doing today" you smirk.
you begin to hover yourself over jude and give him a nice, gentle, but quick kiss. after the kiss you see him in a smiley mess.
"ready to go?" you ask as you're ready to give him another kiss. "yeah baby i'm ready" he shyly replies. you respond by giving him another quick loving peck. as you try to move back to the passenger seat, he gently grabs you back over to him. 
"can i have another kiss?" he cutely asks. "damn he's making this prank easy enough for me"  you thought. "mmhmm" you replied giving him another.
as jude was driving you both to the mall, you wanted to start up a conversation to rev up the prank. you positioned the camera to where you and jude were on film. "so what are you going to be buying or looking for at the mall?" you asks jude who was eye focused on the road.
"uhm probably look to buy more shoes or maybe buy some new clothes. i also need to head to goyard and get a backpa-" he was cutoff at you picking up his hand and leaving thousands of pecks.
 "...and buy my baby whatever she wants" he looks over to you and smiles like a complete idiot. "wow j" you laugh. "i'm serious tho" he finishes.
after a few minutes, he pulls over to the mall parking lot. "alright. stay here" he tells you as he gets out the car to open up the passenger door. 
as he opens the door, he holds and gently pulls your hand out to help you out the car. "you're so sweet" you tell him. he closes the door behind you and grabs your left hand and you both start to walkout the parking lot. 
as you both make your way up to the entrance, you start talking to the camera again. "alright guys we're here at the mall" you tell the camera "i'm so ready to get new stuff for the trip we're both going on in a few days. the summer is almost over and we gotta finish it off with another nice vaycay" you tell the camera, resting your head onto jude's bicep.
"yeah, we both need a few things, and today we aren't busy with anything so we decided to shop a bit" jude tells the camera. "mmhmm" you hummed.
 to continue on with the prank, you stop walking and tell jude to face you. "gimmie kiss" you request. you stand on your toes and he leans over to give you a quick kiss. "another one" you request again. he chuckles and goes in to gives you another kiss.
"another one" you ask, giggling over his lips. "damn babe" he whispers giving you one after another after another after another. "okay okay okay" you shyly pushing him away, holding his hand walking into the mall entrance.
"okay so first stop, we need to go to target first to buy a few sun care products like sunscreen and body lotion" you tell the camera. "this is also jude's first time at target" you say excitedly.
"where do you need to go to babe?" you asks jude. "after target, we're gonna go over to goyard and buy me a few pieces and then maybe over to nike or something" he replies.
while he was talking to the camera, you start to repeatedly kiss his bicep that your head was once positioned on. he looks down over at you smiling and pulls you closer him as he still talks to the camera.
"here's target" jude tells you. you both walk your way inside and head to the body care isle. "i'm gonna go look for a few things real quick at the men's section, i'll be back" he tells you.
"you're gonna leave me here alone?" you jokingly whine, flipping the camera over to him. "don't be dramatic i'll be back" he laughs. "ok, well meet me back over here" you tell him as you wrap your hands around his body, looking up at him. "you're acting so cute today, i don't know what's up with you" he giggles onto your lips. he gives you a kiss, but you hold on to him tighter, asking him for more. "i want more please" you tells him.
he gives you a few more. "we'll be here forever love" he laughs. "i don't caree" you whine. he wraps his arms around your lower waist and connects his forehead to yours. "i'll be back" he tells you before grabbing your ass with both of his hands, followed by a slap. "jude" you whine, smiling. he laughs and heads over to the men's section.
you start talking back to the camera. "alright guys. so i need to up the prank up a little more. i don't think he's getting on to it, even though he's not supposed to, i need to be a little more needy" you vent to the camera. "maybe i'm just not going to ask him to kiss me. i'm gonna just do it without asking him" you says while looking around making sure he doesn't hear you.
after picking up a few items and telling your subscribers what you had in your hand carrying cart, jude comes up from behind. you turn around and notice. "whatcha get?" you ask facing the camera towards him. "i got some shorts and deodorant" he says looking at the stuff in his hands.
without notice, you gently pull his head down and plants kisses onto his lips. "i missed you" you tell him. he laughs in response. "i was just over there" he says pointing to his past location
"soo? you still left me alone" you tell him leaving more kisses onto his cheek. "babe behave yourself" he whispers towards you.
"give me your stuff babe" he says as you hand him your cart. "look at him holding things for me" you say to the camera, pulling his arm down and kissing him on his cheek a couple of times. "why do you keep pulling me down and kissing me and stuff?" jude laughs.
"i can't kiss my bf?" you question. "you can of course, but damn somethings up. i must've did something good today" jude laughs. "and what would that be?" you cutely questioned. "idk, but you keep giving me kisses so it must to be something" he laughs.
you both made your way up to the self register and jude scans the items. you look over at the camera, getting ready to continue the prank. as he scans the rest of the items, you gently pull his arm down and he looks over to you. "come here" you tells him as you wrap your arms around his neck and stand on you toes to kiss him. "i love you" you tell him.
"what is going on with you babe?" he tells you as he takes out his wallet to finish up paying. "nothing" you blankly reply. "okay?" he says as he puts his card into the card reader, dangerously confused.
you stand behind him as he puts in his four digit code and wrap your arms around his large body and plants small back kisses onto his back. you can feel him laughing due to his body vibrations.
he turns over as he gets the receipt and and puts his wallet back into his pocket. "why are you acting like this" he cups your jaw, giving you multiple kisses onto your lips, sending you into a giggling frenzy.
"no-thing i- ju-st l-ov-e yo-u" you try to speak through each kiss. "how many more do you need because it seems to be that you need more every time" he replies pulling you into a hug.
"it's nothing. lets go and get what you need" you finally tell him as you he the bag full of your items and both making your way back into the mall.
"alright guys, now we are going to go to- where are we going?" you ask jude. "uhm i need some shoes so lets get that over with" he tells you.
you looks over at him and pucker up your lips insinuating you want another kiss, while holding the camera. "again?" he whispers.
"yes" you reply pouting. you pucker your lips back again and he gives you a kiss. "another one" you request. "come on, we can't keep doing this" he laughs.
"you don't like kissing me?" you pout trying to get to him "no baby, it's never like that, but you're being needy right now... and were in public" jude tells you as you both walk your way into nike.
"no, you just don't like kissing me" you tell him pouting. "now you know that's not true" he finishes as you were both greeted by a hello from a nike clerk.
"hello, would you guys like any help today" the clerk asks. "uhm could you show us the new releases?" jude asks while holding your hand. "yes i can, follow me" the clerk responds.
you pick up jude's hand that was locked to yours and placed millions of kisses onto it. he looks back over to you confused. "are you okay?" he whispers laughing. "yes?" you reply, sneaking in a few laughs into the camera.
"okay, here are the new releases. you can choose from any of these. is there one in particular that you like?" the clerk asked jude. "yeah um... that one right there" jude points. "size?" the clerk asks. "size 12 should be good" he responds. "i'll go ahead and get them for you".
as the clerk went to the back, jude looked over at you. "what" you started laughing. "you're just acting weird i don't know" he confusedly responds.
"no im not" you reply to him. you both stare at each other for a few seconds until the clerk comes back. "here you go. try them out and see if they're okay" the clerk responded. "yeah" jude replies.
you had the idea to do the funniest thing ever. "can i have a kiss" you ask jude infront of the clerk. he laughs to cover up the embarrassment and so does the clerk. jude turns around to where his back was faced to the clerk. "what are you doing?" he says through his teeth, obviously embarrassed.
"what, can i just have a kiss?" you reply laughing. he heads down over to you and gives you a quick kiss. jude then tries on the shoes and tells the clerk they fit well.
after the clerk takes the shoe jude tried on and the other shoes he picked, they all make their way to the register. you look over to your camera sending off smirks. "total is $654.89" the clerk says.
after jude pays for the shoes, the clerk then ask for a picture with jude because he was a fan. right after they taken the pic, both you and jude waved bye to the clerk.
as they were walking out the store, you look over at jude and sneaks in a laugh into the camera. "ok so where to next?" you asks him while holding the camera. "you did that to me infront of the clerk who was a fan?? are you insane" jude spills as you too were in shock of what just happened.
you both are now walking throughout the mall. "do you want me to kiss you before i do anything?" he says sarcastically. "no, but i do want you to tell them where you want to go next" you playfully respond.
"i need to go get the backpa-" jude was cutoff by you asking for a kiss. "babe what is wrong with you?" jude says with a concerning face. he complies anyway by giving you another kiss.
as you both make there way into goyard, you look over at the bags they had. as he looks through their selection, you slide your way into jude's embrace and rests your chin on his chest. you look up at him and gently pull his neck down for a kiss. jude holds you tightly and gives you a nice, passionate kiss followed by many more pecks.
"baby, do we need to go home?" he asks sincerely. "we can come back tomorrow" he tells you. "no no we have to get everything now" you pout. "then why do you keep kissing me baby?" he whines. "becauseee" you drag as you pull him down for more kisses.
"alright we're going home" he says as he drags you out the store. "no wait jude jude stop" you say while laughing. "you can't keep kissing me out here, lets just go home" he tells you.
"no no i was just pranking you its a prank" you laugh. "what you mean?" jude questions. "i kept kissing you. that was the prank" you laugh. "it doesn't matter we're leaving" he says quickly guiding you both out mall.
"whyy?" you whine. "i don't want to shop anymore, and you keep on kissing me so now were going home" he looks over to you. "i was just joking, we can shop normally now" you laugh following him back to the car.
"well i'm not in the mood for shopping right now anyway, and now we have to get home now so i can deal with you" he calmly tells, pulling you close to his side.
"wow guys" you tell the camera, "i tell him i'm pranking and now he wants to go home" you laugh. "you know you want to go home, too" he tells you. "i mean yeah if that means i'm getting fcked but we still need to shop" you responds laughing.
"you were playing around with me and now i'm in the mood for something else. you did this to yourself" he scoffs. you knew that playing pranks like these would get you into these types of trouble. but it was safe to say your prank was a success.
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bunnys-kisses · 1 day
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werewolf!simon 🐺 (bc happy 3,000 followers to me <3)
you met because you were lost in the woods while camping. it wasn't your fault that all of the trees looked the same! but it led you into simon who led you back to his cabin so you could call the park ranger! simon even made you some tea before he called the land-line.
park ranger johnny or 'soap' said that the truck was out of service so it would have to wait until tomorrow. "you can be a gentleman, right simon?" he laughed over the phone. simon grumbled in response, this wasn't going to be the best idea.
it was the full moon after all.
simon allowed you your personal space as he went about his cabin. he even allowed you to use his bed for the evening. you told him that you were fine on the couch! the issue was that the bedroom could be locked from the outside, usually for his own protection. but tonight it was for yours.
"um... mister simon." you said, "i'm sorry that i'm intruding so much."
"it's alright." he got up from his spot in front of the fireplace. he walked past you and rubbed your hair as he went by, "the woods aren't a safe place."
"i was told only deer hang around here."
he chuckled, "you should be more afraid of men." he went to the nearby kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. he opened it with ease and took a sip, "man destroys."
"well." you stepped forward in a daring move, "you're a man and you're taking good care of this place." you swallowed, "i don't think the entire species is doomed."
he chuckled and took another sip, "i'm not a man."
you stilled, "so like an alien."
he put the beer down and pulled away from the counter, "more beast than man. every full moon, beasts like me roam the woods. sometimes we get a little hungry."
"so you would've eaten me?" you swallowed, you balled your fists just in case you had to make an escape.
he approached you, but you were frozen still. instead of touching you with force, it was so gentle. his thumb was dragged down your cheek, "no. i don't hurt pretty things. but i would've snapped my fangs at anything that tried to come near your tent. so for your sake, stay in my room. so i can't hurt you."
you found the courage to touch him back. your fingers dragged down the scar on his face, "but what if they come too close to your home?"
he smiled a little, "i'll give you my shotgun."
you swallowed, "well.. mister simon. maybe i need your protection?" it was better that you had a familiar face around the cabin instead of leaving it all up to chance.
he cupped your face, "i could hurt you."
you shrugged a little, "i'd rather you hurt me then some other man."
he brushed his thumb across your cheek, "well. then i guess i have to be on good behaviour then." then leaned in to kiss you on your forehead, "but i'll need to cover you with my scent."
you were soon stripped, you realized that simon has no sense of modesty. eventually you were tossed on the bed like you were a bag of potatoes. and simon pressed his weight onto you.
you pressed under a man who could easily snap your bones. but instead, you were doing weird beast-esque skin to skin contact. he rubbed up against you.
"mister simon." you squeaked.
"it's just simon."
"are you sure i can't just wear some of your clothes." they would fit.
"nah. gotta get it right into the skin." he said gruffly as he continued to snuggle against you. you didn't know what scent he was putting on you. all you smelt was old spice and aftershave.
usually for simon, he would've been pent up by now. the day was slowly waning. but he found himself getting tired. the usually sharp werewolf was turning into a metaphorical mush. it was like he felt safe in your arms.
the comfort of simon's bed plus your time hiking left you feeling drowsy too. it wasn't long before you both fell asleep. you didn't even feel the man turn into a wolf.
you simply turned to your side and get comfy against the thick hair that covered you. it was like sleeping under one of those expensive shag rugs that rich people had.
that paired with the weighed allowed you to sleep soundly as the full moon passed the sky. you were a relaxing force to this werewolf and you didn't even know it.
the next morning, johnny came by to pick you up but instead found you under the enormous weight of one simon riley. he was soundly snoring and the ranger just chuckled to himself.
"i'll come back later so you don't ma head off."
(this could be expanded on later. i'm calling it the 'howlin' for you' au aka the werewolf au)
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kneelingshadowsalome · 17 hours
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I know the König x secret admirer reader is not gonna be officially continued but I was wondering if you could maybe explore part of it😭 there’s a part that mentioned that König gets laid in the military and I was wondering how angsty it would be if reader found out?🤭
Yes of course! ^^ It would be angsty... and fluffy! These two are the silliest people who ever lived tbh 🩷🐥
König is young in this AU (around his early 20s) and wildly inexperienced compared to some of the other recruits his age.
His first time was with a girl who joined the army when König had been there for about 1.5 years already. Desperate as he was with hiding the fact that he’s still a virgin, he tumbled into bed with this lady after a night out at the bar. She thoroughly seduced him, and König’s instincts told him she was only looking for fun, but he went with her anyway because, well. Loneliness can kill you, you know?!
He tried to woo her a bit after that until it became quite clear that this woman was not planning to settle down anytime soon. If anything, she was looking for a new conquest – and it’s fine, totally fine, except that König had surrendered a tiny piece of his heart to her along with his dick... That’s just how he is, and it took him more than a few months to get over the fact that it was “just a shag” and he “shouldn’t take things so seriously”.
That’s also why he closed off from people again, decided to concentrate on work and training and gym – until our cute little angel stumbled into his life like the prettiest saving grace! König was a goner from the start because this girl's approach was very different, so gentle and sweet compared to grimy shot glasses and smudgy lipstick and raunchy jokes. It’s a given that he was a little shocked when she sent her that pic 🙄 reminding him of promiscuous women who are not looking for a soul but a body, but because he is what he is the first thing he did was crank things up a notch and send her a dick pic back…
Yes, he’s desperate, but he’s also an go hard or go home man and this time, König is relatively sure he’s dealing with a lovely, delicate soul. Someone who wouldn’t just leave him out in the cold after getting what she wants.
And everything is like a fairytale between these two until she finds out he’s not a virgin despite he seemed a bit… like one… (in this scenario I think reader is a virgin and she thought König was one too because of obvious reasons? lol) And it’s fine, totally fine for her as well, except that the image of König having the night of his life with some military babe is haunting her from dusk till dawn.
There’s bound to be some drama when she starts asking timidly whether she’s still there… Whether they see each other every day. If they talk to each other, if he trains with her, etc. What if they test rifles together, or go out again with the sniper crew and get drunk and König feels… a little lonely?
She knows he would never cheat on her, not in a million years, but knowing how much of a wet dog he is she can’t promise that she’ll be all calm and relaxed during weekends, knowing her boyfriend is out there, full of testosterone and heart, his heart somewhat susceptible to female influence… Maybe even good old seduction…
And what’s even worse is the jealousy, the envy.
What if she’s more badass than her? That doesn't take much... She must be fierce if she’s in the military, something completely different, a forbidden apple König might want to taste again. It’s maddening, and when she finally opens up about it to him, spitting it out one night when he asks what’s bugging his sweet angel, there’s a big fat silence that follows.
König can't even believe she has torn her heart to pieces over something like this, alone and upset and ashamed when she's a literal angel. He sits her nice and pretty in his lap and talks her ear off about how he has nothing against this woman, truly, but that she is nothing compared to his first (and hopefully last!) girlfriend. Their love could never be compared to what happened between him and that girl, these things can’t even be spoken together in the same sentence. If he’s completely honest, his first time was... disappointing. Awkward, humbling, a total drunken mess of which he remembers nothing except that the woman wasn’t completely present either and that he was ashamed that his first time had to be like this.
Honestly, he felt like he lost his virginity on the night when he came to see her. She’s everything he’s ever dreamed of, all he thinks about these days... It’s quite annoying, actually, because he’s supposed to concentrate on how the wind blows and that the ammo doesn’t get wet and that he’s properly concealed.
He could be lying in a ditch with dummy rounds whirling past him and all he could think about are her eyes and lips and giggling and tits and, and… that. How warm it is, how nice it is, how he would just want to curl himself next to her when he hops back to his bunk in the evening. Her smile is the last thing he sees before he dreams, her voice is what he hears. All the things she said, all those sweet, silly little things, chime in his ear before he sleeps.
And all the precious moments they’ve already spent together, the times he made love to her under the trees... There’s nothing like that in the whole world and if she thinks something else can top that she's even sillier than he thought. He could comb through all the continents and he would never find a girl like her.
So tell him again... Why would he go to a shot glass of saltwater when he has a jar of wild honey right here at home?
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thebearer · 15 hours
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lips absence making ronan just not having a connection with him. and ronan is 1000% mamas boy, so even when your super pregnant ronan still needs to be held and when lip tries to take him it’s ww3 getting ronan away from you
i don't think it would be an absence with the kids because he knows 1) you'd leave him right then and there, and 2) he wouldn't be able to live with himself genuinely. he never actually leaves (unless you kick him out to cool off bc you're both fighting) but he's not leaving leaving. he's absent more in the way of just not in the moment. always looks like he's somewhere else. might be there physically but not emotionally.
still, ronan is such a mama's boy, he picks up on it subconsciously. he'd still so little when you get pregnant, a little over a year old when you're pretty heavily pregnant. he just wants to cuddle and cling to you all day, but it gets pretty hard to with your growing bump.
lip tries to take him to bed one night. you're supposed to be on bed rest, not moving a lot- definitely not lifting a baby. ronan sobs- wails for you.
heart broken "ma-ma!"'s all the way down the hall, and you're emotional as it is, but it tears your heart right down the middle.
lip is in hell trying to get him to settle. all he wants is you. he's not a very mean baby, never super fussy or dramatic (not like freddie and jude) but he is then. agitated, angry, upset, won't settle at all.
"just let me have him." you whisper after the last hour of ronan's sobs.
"hey, no. you're not supposed to be up-" lip frowns.
you roll your eyes at him, reaching for ronan who stretched for you. "no," lip turns. "you can't lift him. the doctor said-"
"-i'll be fine." you huff. "jude and freddie have school tomorrow, and he's going to make himself sick crying like this. i'll be alright."
lip's still not giving in. his ego is hurt, his pride too. why he couldn't get ronan to settle, he wasn't sure, but it was driving him insane.
he finally agrees to keep him in the bed with you two for the night. keeps you in it, and keeps ronan happy.
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cvntyworld · 10 hours
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omg are you gonna do a part two to your platonic ghoul fic I need to see if ghoul gets his ring back 😭
no refunds ( the ghoul / cooper howard )
summary: after finding the culprit behind his stolen ring, the ghoul decides to take you with him for a visit to your local pawn shop to get it back, to hell with the no refund policy, there's always option two.
part one , klepto
contents: part two to klepto, usual fallout shenanigans, violence, gore, shootout, reader insults the ghoul, he's a hater through and through, platonic relationship, reader ends up in a gun fight, ghoul traumatizing reader further, pawn shop owner polks the bear and brings up coopers family and it doesn't end well for him, tried to make this more soft but still rough, kinda sad, ect...
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What the predicament you'd gotten yourself into with the scary cowboy dressed ghoul who smelled rotten and had an even more rotten attitude towards you.
Of course, you understood his attitude was valid, you had stolen from him after all, but, you were sure people would have done far worse to him in the time he's been alive. He still ruined your days, basically the rest of your week, he'd not even given you the chance to wrap a bandage around your hand or use a stim pack on the open wound he very obviously caused, your nose stopped bleeding but it was still very out of place and broken, he didn't care, he didn't have to, he just wanted his ring back and for some reason he thought he had to bring you along to get it. He had an annoying grip on your arm, marching you along as if you were a scolded child, and then there was the annoyance you felt as he whistled a tune while walking.
The few townsfolk that wandered around after dark were eyeing the pair of you warily, some glanced concerned as you walked past, you were a familiar face amongst them, a young face at that and those with hearts worried at the sight of you being forced along by a ghoul, and while the concern was obvious it wasn't confronted because most folks who lived here were cowards.
Your feet dragged slightly, tired from all the walking and desperate for rest, but you weren't going to receive it, not until the ghoul got back what was his. A rattly cough had erupted from him and he stopped, leaning over to try and breathe better, he let go of your arm as he heaved, taking an inhaler with liquid gold out of his pocket and letting it be breathed in heavily. You didn't bother running, he was very clear that would end with a bullet to your legs and a bullet to the legs would be bad for business on your end. He rose to his full height again with a breath and adjusts his hat on his head before turning to you, scoffing when he saw the grimace on your face. "That's some awful ass cough you've got, Mister." You stated and he huffs out a breath, shoving your shoulder to push you forward, you stumble over your feet and roll your eyes when you find that the pawn shop has entered your line of vision, with hesitant steps you approach the door and stop.
"What's the hold up?" He asks sharply and you turn with a wary stare, catching his questioning gaze, "They're closed so..." You trail off and he tilts his head, "And?" Was all that he replied back, "Well, we can't go in if they're closed, it's a rule around here, Mister..." The ghoul approaches, with a smug grin, "I don't know if you've forgot but I ain't from around here, so, guess that don't apply to me." He laughs breathily and opens the door, shoving you inside with an aggravating push and following after, the bell above that old door jingled and made you flinch, your nerves shot to hell as the ghoul approached the counter and knocked on the wooden surface mockingly.
"Yoo Hoo, anybody home?" He calls out smug, and you're quick to spot the older man who runs the place entering from the back room, looking rather furious. "Y/N, the hell are you doing here, can't you read? Sign says closed!" He states sharply and you stare with worried eyes, your gaze gesturing to the ghoul who was leaning on the counter, a rhythmic tap to his gloved fingers as he catches the mans attention, his eyes narrowing in disgust as he turns back towards you furious, "Now what in the fuck do you think you're doing bringing that fucking thing in here?" You're quick to take a step back unsurely, something the ghoul notices, and so he turns back to the man with a sigh, "I'd rethink that tone, you're scaring the little one." John Joe, the owner, draws his attention to the ghoul, "If anyone is scaring the little one, it's you, they're good for giving me the shittiest of shit and they know not to come here the moment that sign says closed so I'll bet the stupid little shit stole something of yours."
An unsettling silence filled the store and the ghoul nods, "Lookie here, Y/N, we've got ourselves a know it all." The ghoul laughs at his own words when you merely stare at him with worry in your eyes. "Not a know it all at all, just a good listener, little Y/N here was talking shit when they'd waltzed on in here this afternoon with that ring, going on about how they'd stolen some ring off a feral ghoul, looks like they get the feral part wrong, you're him, aren't you?" You glance between the two, confused, at John Joe and his words, who was him, the ghoul turns to you with this unreadable stare and you want to disappear, "That true? Were you being an arrogant little shit about who you've been stealing from?" Your terrified face says it all and in that moment you're so sure he's going to kill you, shoot you dead right there, but instead he laughs wheezily at you and then pats you on the back, almost proudly, you feel yourself tremble and try to shuffle away but he was no longer staring at you but at John Joe, who gave him the middle finger, but it wasn't the insulting hand you'd both been staring at, but what he wore on it.
A simple gold band, hammered out to fit on John Joe's fat middle finger. You glance up to stare at the ghoul in front of you and he wasn't as humoured as he was when he had walked in, his hardened stare made you take in a breath, fear churning within you as the silence became a lot more insufferable than before. John Joe put his hand down with little care, "Now, when little Y/N walked on in here with this beautiful little thing, they thought that it'd been boring, just another thing to make up the caps, but as soon as I had a closer look I knew exactly who this had belonged to, hell, I knew you'd go after them for it, they were stupid enough to steal from you of all folks so I let em' go home with more caps than usual, compensation for the death sentence they gave themselves."
The Ghoul was still quiet and you felt yourself backing up slightly when you saw his fist clench tightly by his side, "I had a replacement in place for you anyway, your shit was getting a little boring, no offence, kid, I thought that you'd never step foot in here again, that he'd shoot you dead." A laugh left him and he turned to the ghoul once more, "It's at least what I've heard from all those stories, you killed a lotta folks for less, or maybe, just maybe, some little shits rebellious tendencies are bringing back some memories, a certain someone, ain't that right, Coop?"
Coop, you frowned at the name, when you'd first walked in John Joe acted as if he'd known nothing about him, he acted oblivious to who this ghoul was and now he acted as if he knew every little thing about this ghoul that stood beside you silently. "I bet you miss that little girl of yours a whole lot, the wife too - pardon my mistake, ex wife." You knew he was poking the bear and you grew worried when the Ghoul laughed abruptly and then went silent, the two stared at one another for a moment and just as John Joe is reaching for his gun under the counter, the ghoul held his gun forward and fired, the bullet smashing apart flesh and bone, John Joe's hand being shot clean off, you are quick to stumble back in fright, watching as the ghoul is approaching the hand slowly and picking the limb up, a sadistic grin as he slides the ring off the useless finger, a breathy laugh leaving him as he stares at it.
John Joe was screaming, whaling, rolling around with a look of pure agony as he clutched his handless arm, the ghoul wasn't finished yet, rounder the counter with a tilt of his head, staring down at him mockingly, "You're right about one thing." He says calmly, "I have killed people for less." He admits and John Joe's cries are cut off when he pulls the trigger once more, shooting him dead without a care in the world.
You remain quiet, pressed into a corner with a frightened look, tears burn in your eyes but you blink them away the moment the ghoul looks up to find you. "Dry your eyes, if I was gonna kill ya, I woulda done it the moment you had came through the front door of that little house of yours." The reassurance didn't give you a lot of comfort and you watch as he slips the ring into his pocket again. "Why do you hide it, your ring, I mean?" You ask suddenly and the ghoul glances in your direction, meeting your curious yet worried eyes, he shrugged, "It's like your deceased friend said, ain't no point wearing a ring when there ain't a wife to wear it for."
You move forward but not enough that you're near John Joe's dead body, "My daddy still wore his ring, even after my mama passed away, it's the one thing that he kept of her, the one thing he didn't sell off to some lowlife." You'd remembered that ring, it was made of wire, it was still on his finger when they'd chopped his hands off.
The ghoul laughed quietly, "hate to break it to you, but, I ain't the sentimental type like your daddy was, sweetie." You scoff at this, "My dad wasn't sentimental, far from it, he just, he loved my ma, you know?" The ghoul sighs at your saddened words, but didn't attempt to bring a kind of comfort to you, you didn't want comfort. "Do you ever miss your wife, mister?" You suddenly ask and he felt as if he'd been frozen in place, unsure why he would even let a conversation like this open up, he felt his heart in his coat pocket, the ring cold against his hands.
"All the time." He admits quietly, "All the damn time." You frown, a waver of sympathy that comes and goes and at his final answer he approaches you and places the pouch of caps in your hands that he'd stolen from you when he had broken into your home.
"You keep that heart of yours strong, ya hear?"
Then he was gone.
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heyidkyay · 3 days
Text
And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty-Three
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!
Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx
Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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“I said no.”
Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.
“Give me a reason at least?"
I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?
“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.
“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.
I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”
Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.
“One thing after another with you.”
My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”
The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”
I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it. 
“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.
“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”
I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.
Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.
I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”
With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”
I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”
To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep. 
Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.
“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”
“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”
Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”
My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.
The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.
He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.
I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me. 
Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand. 
But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.
Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.
“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.
“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.
“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”
Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.
Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.
When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.
“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”
I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky. 
“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs. 
“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.
Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”
I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-
“Anyone here?”
I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.
George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”
Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.
“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”
“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”
I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”
Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”
I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done. 
Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”
Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.
“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”
It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.
Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.
See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.
Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard. 
George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more. 
Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.
He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.
I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon. 
The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.
I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.
I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated. 
“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”
George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”
Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”
I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.
Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”
I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”
He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.” 
I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”
Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”
I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.
He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”
I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.
During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.
George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.
“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about. 
He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it. 
“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.
Or maybe I was just kidding myself.
“Sorry.”
George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”
He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.
“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile. 
“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.
I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.
“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."
I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.
Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.
I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.
“What?”
George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.
“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me. 
Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”
My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”
We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.
“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.
I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”
That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”
George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”
He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.
His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”
I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.
The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.
I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.
You had me from the start  Pulling all the stops out  On the down low, secretly  But I think you knew your psychology  Was working on me  Infatuated  And doing this all wrong  You've got  My number and my name  And you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going  Can I see you every day?  Do you love me  Like I love you?  Ah, you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going
(Song: Ride - Future Love)
It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me. 
I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.
His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.
A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.
Not even a second later my phone was in my hand. 
Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me? 
Matty had always had a thing for Sundays. 
There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick. 
No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him. 
There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.
Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.
It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.
Jamie had somehow managed it.
Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.
But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.
It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings. 
He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.
There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.
He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.
Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.
Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.
The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”
Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.
This was it, he supposed.
The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.
He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.
The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.
If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal. 
He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.
It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.
She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.
Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.
The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.
“You can just hang your-”
“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway. 
It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.
“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”
He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him. 
Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”
God, it was so fucking strained.
He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.
“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.
“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”
Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”
She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before. 
But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.
Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv. 
There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.
She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which. 
He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.
He found himself smiling at the thought.
It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.
“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down. 
Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.
“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.
She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”
Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”
She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”
Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.
The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.
“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.” 
Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.
She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”
“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.
“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”
Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”
Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.
“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...” 
He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks. 
She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?” 
“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.
“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”
That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.
Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind. 
“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”
Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.
Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”
Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.
“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.” 
He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”
He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.
“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”
Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.
“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”
“Said what?”
Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”
Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.
Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”
Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.
“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.
“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”
She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.
“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”
Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.
“Then what?”
Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”
Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.
He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.
It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”
Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.
“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.
“I know.” He answered.
“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.
“I know.”
He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest. 
"Why didn't you tell me?"
“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.
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splataii · 6 hours
Note
thigh fucking with ayato to relieve his stress from work so he bends the reader in his desk while degrading him (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
ayato x reader
cw: domtop character, subbottom reader, degradation, minor feminization (use of the word cunt), minor voyeurism, minor sir kink, petnames
lmk if i miss anything!
<3
“sir.. please,” you squirm under ayato as his body keeps you bent over his desk, hand on the small of your back as he feels around for a small bottle in his desk.
“what? this where you want it?” he smiles as he traces a finger up your exposed hole watching as it winks back up at him, leaning back to spread the lube all over it, “in this slutty cunt a yours?”
“‘m not a slut..” you slur, biting back a moan as he laughs, your face too cute to ignore. i mean your body is practically jumping at his touch while your poor cunt tries to take his fingers in, desperate to be filled.
it had been another regular day in the office before you were called up for another one of your lil “private meetings”, the angst on his face clear as day the moment you stepped through those grand doors.
the man is in desperate need of an actual break, what with the commission beating down his door 24/7, and ayato couldn't think no one better than his favorite boy..
his boy, to give it to him.
you were just made to take him. your desperate whines and moans music to his ears as he slowly jerks off your sad cock, spreading the lube all between your thighs and back up to your eager hole. honestly, he can't imagine how he ever makes it through the day without you
if he could just pay you to look all pretty bent over his desk, filling that pretty boycunt a yours up like it deserves to be filled, he'd do it in a heartbeat.
“oh, puppy, look at you,” he coos sweetly in your ear, his dick jerking against the curve of your ass as he bends over to take your dick in his hands, dirtying it with your precum, “this is all it takes to get you wet? a whore like u cant go two minutes without having his hole stuffed, hmm?”
your ass perks up to his touch on instinct, rutting against him for some friction on your rim. you needed him inside you so bad.
“no baby,” ayato hums, small frown on his face as he presses his finger into the skin of your hip to hold you still, “none of that,”
his hard cock slides in between the warmth of your lube slick thighs, groan escaping his lips as you clench around him from the sensation. your hips stutter as you rock against him, the feeling of his cock against yours just too much to handle.
“what a slutty little ass you’ve got,” he gropes, “what did i tell you?”
“please,” you shake your head, hole winking up at him everytime he prods, begging for any sort of attention, “please put it in, please sir,”
and you make it so hard to resist what with the sweet way his name falls off your tongue.. but only good dogs get treats he reminds you, all gentle smiles as he runs his hands down your back and squeezes at your thigh, finally starting to fuck you in earnest.
“stay tight. don't let up till i finish,” he grunts, keeping you bent over his desk as your hands grip onto the edges of the table in an attempt to keep balance against the smack of his hips against your ass. the tip of his dick pokes through your thighs as he uses them like a fleshlight, spreading his pre all over you and the underside of your abandoned cock.
ayato's all up on you, chest pressed against your back as he groans in your ear so you can know personally just what you do to him. it has you fucking yourself back on his hard cock, begging for him to just touch you already, but the sudden ringing of his old desk phone distracts you.
ayato reaches for it, your eyes widening as you glance up at him shaking your head, but he just holds a single finger to his lips before sliding the phone onto his shoulder, giving his fingers full freedom to slide back into position on the small of your back as he slows his thrusts to a slow grind of his dick. you've got nothing to worry about, really. he's gonna make sure to fuck all those useless thoughts out your pretty little head all the same.
“yes?” he doesn't do much to hide the annoyance in his tone, his hands pressing into your warm skin, using you like some cheap toy as he forces you to stay down and take it.
“two pm? no, cancel that, thank you. yes i’m sure,”
it feels like his stupid talk could go on for forever, but he still manages to stay cool on call as he draws the softest moans out of you, pulling out from your thighs to see how you flinch when he slaps his dick across your unused hole, lightly tapping the side of ur ass so you can arch for him some more just like a good toy should. it all has your mind falling away, uselessly rutting yourself back onto his cock as he plays with you, making sure to stay all pretty laid out on the desk for him.
“i’m a little busy at the moment,” he leans down to press a kiss on your shoulder as he squeezes at your ass, voice almost a low whisper, “isn't that right?”
all you can do is nod your head, body too hot and aching to say no. so thoroughly fucked out you don't even notice hes ended the call already, phone disgarded somewhere on his desk as he picks up his pace again, watching his cock dissapear into the folds of your thighs as his free hand reaches around your middle.
“gods, youre so fucking filthy, look at you,” he laughs, pinching at the head of your cock, spreading your pre all over his fingers, “you really get off from being used like that?”
“‘m not,” your words break off what with the way your body betrays you, thighs clenching as he starts jerking off your pathetic cock,
“i wonder how everyone would react,” he leans down to your level, lips warm on your ear as he keeps his hand tight around you, “if they saw how wet you get from just the touch of my fingers,”
you rut back into his hand, silently begging, but he keeps his touches light, laughing at how desperate you get.
"use your words, puppy," he gently hums before squeezing your chin in his hands and forcing your mouth open with his fingers. his face is so close to yours you can feel his words on the skin of your neck, but his body keeps you pinned against the desk stuck from facing him, "cmon, tell me what you want,"
“please, sir,,” your body jerks as you cry, way too focused on chasing his hand. the feel of his fingers tracing over your tip, the rhythmic sound of his skin on yours, it leaves your head too empty to think of anything but release.
“a slut like you can do better than that”, he moves his hand from your dick, the smile on his lips clear as day as he listens to your incoherent moans, rubbing your mess all over your tummy.
“please let me cum, please,”
you can feel the smile on his lips as he takes your wrists in one hand, lifting you from his desk and exposing your fucked out body to the empty office.
your head falls back against his chest, body almost giving out when he finally takes your cock in his hand and finally gives you what you've been begging so prettily for.
“that’s it, let it all out,” your legs shake as you jerk your hips to try and match his pace, head too dumb to do anything but whine as you finally cum, voice caught all up in your throat, ayato's lips on yours silencing you as he finishes all over your thighs, and you all over his hand.
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softpine · 14 hours
Text
can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
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nunalastor · 2 days
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Hello! I have a question for you: what happens if we mix Snow White + Tangled in an AU (+ only one hour of sleep, a lot of coffee and chocolate cake). Well you get this.
Snow White + Tangled AU (or something like that)
When Charlie was born, Lilith felt very insecure because of all the attention she was receiving from Lucifer, plus she never liked feeling vulnerable and under the command of another, and that was what pregnancy and the commitment to having a baby did to her feel.
Lilith contacts Roo/Eve to take Charlie, she doesn't care what she does with her, she just doesn't want her around.
Roo/Eve, although she has many reasons to despise Lilith and Lucifer, has nothing against the girl, but she also does not want to have her around, she thinks about killing her but don't have enough interest to make the effort. Furthermore, even if she did it to make the girl's parents suffer, the fact that they voluntarily handed her over to her misses the whole point (Roo/Eve thinks Lucifer agreed)
Roo/Eve decides to give Charlie to her new favorite toy that arrived in hell a few months ago and has already made a reputation as the Radio Demon.
One day Alastor opens the door of his house and sees a baby in a basket with a note that says "Take care of her", signed by the entity to whom he sold his soul before he died. Thinking that the note means that he must take care of her (the other option was to delete her, Roo didn't care), he raises her as his own daughter.
Alastor does not keep Charlie hidden in a tower, he don't know who the girl is or where she came from, he only knows that her name is Charlie because her name was sewn in her clothes (decorated with a duckling...strange), he simply keeps her somewhat separated from the rest of hell until she is old enough to defend herself, and she even spent her childhood surrounded by children in Cannibal Town, where her Aunt Rosie sometimes took care of her.
When Charlie is old enough to ask where babies come from, Alastor sees no point in hiding the truth from her; he found her in a basket on the doorstep of his house. He doesn't bring it up again because he doesn't see the need to repeat it, and Charlie thinks her dad is joking, but then decides that even if it's true, it makes no difference, he's her dad no matter what.
Years go by and Charlie grows up seeing all the types of sinners that exist, there are those who deserve much worse and there are those who just had bad luck in life. Like her father, she don't believe in redemption, but she does believe that she can improve some lives, having a community like her Aunt Rosie's, focused on the most "innocent" sinners or those who are in a very bad situation. Even her dad is willing to support her, for entertainment purposes, but it's still his support that matters. It is during her search for land to start her idea or some sinners who are interested that she meets Vaggie, but after living with cannibals she knows the smell of blood well, so she realizes that there is something strange about it. When she takes her to her father he confirms her suspicions, Alastor helps her interrogate her and Vaggie confesses that she is a fallen angel. Charlie is disappointed in heaven, not that she idealized it, but she realizes that it is no different from hell. Alastor takes advantage of the situation, demanding that Vaggie swear loyalty to both of them and take care of Charlie when necessary, in exchange, they will take care of her.
When Charlie finds a place to start her idea, everything financed by her, plus the help of her father and her aunt Rosie (they always taught her that she should work for what she wanted, but she is still their child), Charlie finally opens her Safety Hotel (her dad insisted on "Hazbin Hotel", and she can't help but agree that "Safety" sounds kind of silly), and despite the bad experience with the televisions because of her father's ex-friend, she decides to go promote the hotel on a television show, hopefully just once, plus her dad promised to dedicate a section to the hotel on his radio show.
After that interview that went...surprisingly well, she begins to receive some unimportant sinners who have not yet sold their souls, many of them are recent arrivals to hell. Everything seems to be going well...until someone claiming to be the king of hell appears at her door, saying that he saw her on television, he recognized her immediately, says that she is his daughter and that he has been looking for her. Charlie was willing to help this...poor little man, until he decided to act like a jerk and tried to attack his dad while calling him a kidnapper. She told him to come back when he was willing to have a civilized conversation, that violence is prohibited in her territory, and slammed the door in his face. The little man is still hanging around.
👀
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teddybeartoji · 3 days
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hi mickey! i kinda can’t stop thinking about your snow leopard!gojo and i have a question… do you know how when female cats go into heat they get so clingy and like… slutty? with their ass up and meowing really loud non stop just very needy… what about subby gojo? or do you think he leans more on the dominant side?
HIIII VAL!!!!!! LITERALLY RUSHED TO ANSWER THIS BC 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 i think he definitely leans towards being a sub!!! he wants you to take care of him, he want you to baby him. he's like a fucking pillow princess lmao. i don't really see him going too feral in a dominant way. feral in a slutty way is a big yes though. he's sooooo fucking needy holy fucking shit.
ok but the heats.... i think for men it's called a rut..... i think.... BUT I'M ALSO NEW IN THE HYBRID WORLD LMAO SO I'M NOT SURE. anyway.... he's losing his mind whenever he goes into a rut. he's humping your bed, your pillows, he's stealing your underwear, he's sniffing them, he's licking them - he turns into a real perv. he just can't help it. you smell so fucking good. oh, and he most certainly likes to nose at your crotch..... like he's sitting at your feet and just burying his face into you. oke and he might... hump your leg, too. he's just sooo sensitivee:(((( and he needs your help:(((((( to take care of his problem:(((( he's gonna make you do it. he's a little manipulator:(((
he gives you his best little puss in boots eyes as he guides your hand to his rock hard cock and it's so hard to say no to him bc his nose is so pink and his lips are so pouty and his fuzzy ears are tilted downward and his tail is thumping against the floor and yeah he knows you're going to make him feel good because you love him right?
iiiiii think he's also very likely to just grind on you overall. whenever he sits on your lap, he's mewling and whining into your neck while his tail wraps around your leg, tickling your skin. mmmmmmmmmmm i'm going insane actually.
i think he also makes messes just so you'd have to punish him. he literally can't be without your attention, no matter what kind it is.
okay fuck wait but back to the ruts sorry i blacked out for a sec there. the whole point is breeding you. like he needs to cum inside you. he needs to. he likes to trap you below him and he likes to fuck you in the prone bone position🥴🥴🥴he loves it sm bc he can nip at your skin - at your cheeks, at your ears, at your neck. and he can keep you there. when he gets into it... he doesn't stop. and he obviously can go for so many fucking rounds. so he loves it when you're crying from overstim below him, bucking your hips into him subconciously.
but don't think he's playing like a dom daddy!!! oh no! he's still in your ears begging and whining. the word 'please' is spilling from his lips like a waterfall. it just feels so fucking good, you feel so good. he's also slurring out the good old "i'll be good, i'll be so good for you." and "one more. please, just one more." and "can i cum? please, can i cum?". he's so perfect i want to cry aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
aaaaand after all that he just likes to lay on top of you bc ofc he does. his tail trails over your sweaty limbs in a comforting manner as he listens to your pounding heart<3333333
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drvscarlett · 3 days
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FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER
Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader
Summary: Esteban has been pining over his bestfriend for the longest time. How long will it take her to see that what she's looking for is right in front of her?
The Tortured Drivers' Department series
A/N: And the first person that I'll be crossing off the list is Estie bestie. I think he is probably one of the drivers that gives me the wholesome aura. Let me know what you think or if you wanna be added to the taglist.
Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you. Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to.
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02-13-2002
Dear Diary,
Today I met my first ami (ami is friend in french) and he is Esteban something long name Okon. He is so nice to me. He said hi and helped me swing on the swing sets. I hope I meet more ami like Esteban but he is my favoriteeeee!!!
-y/n.
6 years old Esteban was actually running away from class when he stumbled upon a girl swinging alone at the park's swing set. He frowns because he noticed that every kid at the park have someone to play with but she has no one. Esteban was in an internal battle to just leave it alone but he can't help but feel bad for her.
He walked to the girl and he sat next to the empty swing next to her.
Y/N looked at the stranger that just joined her. Her interest was piqued because no one wants to be around her. She blamed it in her inability to speak French so she was hesitant to scare off the potential play mate.
"I'm Esteban, you are new?" Esteban started.
Esteban's english was not perfect especially with a strong French accent but he can hold a good conversation. He can see how the excited grin appeared in her face.
"Y/N! You speak good, can we be friends?" she asked.
She extends her hands to the boy and Esteban shakes it.
"Mon ami"Esteban agrees.
There was a visible confusion in her face. Esteban mentally slaps himself as he forgot that she cannot speak french.
"It mean friends"he added.
"Mon ami Esteban" it rolls right in her tongue.
And although there was a great language barrier, they managed to stay there at the swing sets till it was time to go home for dinner. Their antics and their grand hand gestures helped them communicate with each other.
11-28-2002
Dear Diary,
I told Estie that I will be missing thanksgiving a lot because I don't live in US. His mom and dad cooked, we had our own version of thanksgiving. I'm so grateful to my mon ami, Estie.
-y/n
Usually, Esteban's afterschool routine was drop his bags and leave the house to meet up with his bestfriend, Y/N. They would go sit at the swing set for hours or maybe watch the television at Y/N's house. It was a routine that Mrs. Ocon has been familiar with ever since Y/N came into the picture.
"Maman, can I talk to you about something"
Esteban made a beeline to his mother as soon as he gets home this afternoon.
"Did you have any troubles in school?" Mrs. Ocon wondered.
"Not at all Maman" Esteban answers "I just need help with something Maman about Y/N"
Mrs. Ocon tried to hide the smile in her face as he mutters a soft "oh". Meanwhile, Esteban reached out a piece of paper from his bag.
"Maman I drew this at school, this is a tradition that Y/N misses in America"Esteban explains.
The paper was filled with drawings of stick figures sitting in a table. The table was filled with dishes messily drawn in a muddle of green, brown, and orange.
Mrs. Ocon looks at her son with confusion, she still didn't know what he needs help in.
"What are you trying to say Esteban?"she asked
"This 28 is the thanksgiving dinner and Y/N says that her parents will be busy. She told me its just like a normal dinner but you say thank you for everything you are grateful about"Esteban elaborates "Can we do that Maman and can we invite Y/N to join us"
"That's a wonderful gesture to do for your friend Esteban" Mrs Ocon coos.
Esteban breaks out into a grin with the agreement of his mother.
"But you will be helping me prepare the dishes okay?" Mrs. Ocon added
"Of course Maman, I'll do anything"
Esteban gives his Mother a tight hug. He was extremely grateful because he knows how much Y/N has been missing so many american things lately. He was just scared that she'll leave France and then go back to America then he will never see her again.
On the other hand, Mrs. Ocon can call it mother instincts but she called it from this moment that her son is in love with his bestfriend.
05-17-2005
Dear Diary,
I like reading a lot while my bestfriend Estie loves riding the small karts. I like going to school, Estie doesn't like that. It seems like were different with each other. I'm scared of losing my bestfriend, what should i do?
But I'll support him. I want him to be happy. Thats what bestfriends do.
-y/n
"I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban blurts out one time that they were watching those Formula 1 races on the television.
Y/N started laughing because she thought it was a joke but when she looked at him, his eyes were looking at the race cars with so much determination.
"Wait, you are serious?"
"Can't you picture me driving those cars? It's like being wind woosh" Esteban mimicked the movement of the cars.
"But its like dangerous, you could crash" Y/N argues.
They have seen some serious crashes in the times that they watched F1. Y/N couldn't forget that dogpile crash in Monaco just a few weeks ago, her heart nearly stopped when the car hits a marshal cleaning up debris.
"Then I'm going to train to be a good driver so I don't crash" Esteban confidently states.
"But what about school?"Y/N asked "You're not seriously leaving me there"
"Woah, I said I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban clarifies "I didn't say anything about leaving you. You are mon ami"
"But school Estie?"Y/N repeats
Both of them knows that Esteban never found a knack for the academics, his favorite class was physical education. As much as Y/N tries to encourage him to study, he didn't like to do that a lot. Esteban always said that the braincells of Y/N will be enough for them to share and to get through life.
"I really wanna be a race car driver"Esteban insisted.
Y/N knew Esteban very well that if he sets his mind to it then he is bound to do it. There is nothing else she can do but support it.
"Esteban Ocon, a grand prix winner" Y/N shows her encouragement "I could picture it the crowd goes roar and you step onto those podiums holding those big trophies"
Esteban grins at her enthusiasm.
"And then I could take you with me to watch them when you finish school"Esteban added "We could travel the world together when I become a driver"
"Esteban wait so if you do become a race driver then maybe I can meet Kimi"Y/N wondered.
"Wow you only want me to go to F1 for Kimi huh"
"Well its a good opportunity to meet the man, the myth, the legend"
06-16-2006
Dear Diary,
I'm just really really sad today. Estie will be moving far away from here. Maybe I only get to see him on the weekends. I'll miss my bestfriend, mon ami
-y/n
They were at the swing sets when Esteban broke the news that he was accepted to compete for karting competitions. Y/N was immediately ecstatic to hear this but there was a frown gracing Esteban's face.
"You just told me that you are gonna compete for go karting but why do you look so sad" Y/N inquires "Isn't this like the first step in being an F1 driver?"
It is but Esteban hadn't predicted how costly this whole thing will be and how sacrifices have to be made in order to reach his dreams.
"We have to leave the house"Esteban breaks the news.
"Leave?"Y/N was confused "I mean don't you really have to leave the house to go to the go karting place..but you'll come back right?"
He shakes his head and Y/N could feel the reason for the sad looks on his face. Her heart feels like cracking especially when Esteban starts to speak again.
"They sold the house to get me a kart" Esteban's voice was filled with so much sadness "They knew it was my dream and the whole family sees a lot of potential that I can do it. I just feel terrible that they have to make sacrifices to make my dreams come true"
They were merely ten years old but it was a lot of burden to carry and to understand. Y/N is at loss for words but she just grabbed Esteban's hands.
"Then you have to give your all and be the best race driver ever okay?"Y/N reminded him
Esteban looked at Y/N and there were stray tears leaving her eyes but she has a brave face on and an encouraging smile. He was lucky to have a family that believes in him and he was even more luckier because he gets to have another supporter in the form of his bestfriend.
"You make a lot of money so you can buy your home again and you can treat your parents out"Y/N says "You have to do well okay, we all believe in you Estie"
And its these words that kept repeating on Esteban's mind whenever he is on track.
11-23-2012
Dear Diary,
It's my birthday today. Did you believe that Estie waited till it turned midnight here in France just to call me. My bestfriend be setting up the standards for everyone. I got a cake in the morning from my classmates and then we went to have dinner. Sixteen, im getting old now.
-y/n
Esteban and Y/N had a tradition since they were kids that they will wait for each other's birthday because they wanted to be the first person to greet each other.
The minute that the clock strikes 12, Y/N's phone starts vibrating. She had a grin on her face upon seeing the name on the caller ID.
"Well hello there Mr. Lightning McQueen"Y/N greeted.
"Happiest birthday to my sweetest mon ami"Esteban cheered on the other line "You know that I wish you all the best things in life and all of happiness that life has to offer"
"I'm surprised you had time to call, don't you have to wake up early later for your race?" Y/N questioned.
It was true, they don't get to talk as much whenever Esteban was in a competition season. Y/N doesn't mind it that much because Esteban will message whenever he can.
"I wouldn't miss my favorite person's day" Esteban answers.
His remarks made Y/N blush. It was a good thing that this is just a phone call conversation or she had some explaining to do.
"That makes me miss you way way more Estie"Y/N sighs "I hope I can see you again"
"Is that your birthday wish?" Esteban jokes
"My birthday wish is an F1 seat for you" Y/N declares.
"Hey, stop wishing about me. It's your day wish for YOUR day" Esteban argues.
"Then I wish for my bestfriend to get an F1 seat so I can meet Kimi"Y/N rephrases.
They spent a good time talking to each other. Y/N updates Esteban about those girls in her class that she wants to be friends with and how difficult physics assignments are. Esteban mentions about the trainings and the different race drivers that he met on track.
Esteban knows that he might probably regret staying up late but everything always seems worth it when it comes to Y/N.
"Well its really nice catching up to you but school starts at 7 tomorrow"Y/N yawns a bit "You must be pretty tired as well with all the training"
"Don't you worry about me here, I'm doing okay"
"You are the best Estie" Y/N said "Goodnight estie, love you"
Love. That's the word that Esteban has been pondering about a lot lately. It was that stage of life that people are getting girlfriends and boyfriends because they love that person. The only person that Esteban thinks he can love and be in a relationship with is Y/N.
First he thought, maybe its because Y/N's a close friends. Many people get the lines blurred between friendship and relationship. However, Esteban is beginning to realize that he likes Y/N more than a friend.
But, Esteban was scared of scaring her off or losing her so he settles with this.
"Good night Y/N, love you more"
01-01-2017
Dear Diary,
So Esteban and I went to our first party because Esteban finally had a permanent team for the upcoming 2017 season. We had a few drinks to celebrate and I met a boy. His name is Vincent. I think we hit it off pretty well.
-y/n
Esteban has this all night planned with him announcing that he is getting a permanent seat in Formula 1 to inviting her to the races to confessing his feelings and then hopefully get a New Year Eve's kiss.
However, here he is in the bathroom chickening out with his plans.
"C'mon Esteban, you can do this" he preps himself.
In his mind, he had everything written and prepared. He will start talking about the childhood how he was so glad to meet her and to her being the number 1 fan since day 1. Then he will move to his realizations and such when he was moving up to F1.
"Just say what you feel and be true. It's gonna work out"Esteban tells his reflection to the mirror.
With one spray of water to the face, Esteban exits the bathroom to find Y/N in the sea of crowd.
He searches for her and he was glad to see that she was still at the same place where he left her. However, his face scrunches up because there was another guy around her.
"Estieee!"Y/N calls out "I want you to meet Vincent, he is my new friend"
Esteban eyes the man because he didn't even look at him. Vincent's eyes were only looking at Y/N's and Esteban could feel his heart drop. He knows that look all too well because that is how he looks at her.
There goes his chance.
12-25-2017
Dear Diary,
This is my first christmas with Vincent as my boyfriend. Were still getting used with the presents thing and I think I overwhelmed him a bit. But I think that its going well, Mom loves Vincent. Dad and Esteban doesn't seem to think that Vincent is good for me.
-y/n
"Okay, time to open christmas presents!" Y/N excitedly announce.
Everyone gathers at the Christmas tree. It was a yearly tradition in the household that after lunch they go one-by-one in opening the gifts. Y/N always loved presents so she would always go first.
"Merry Christmas darling"Vincent says as he gives his present.
Esteban manages to keep his expression straight but he would have gagged if he could. He was filled with so much jealousy that he could have been in that position right now if he didn't chicken out.
Also, there was something so irritating and wrong about Vincent. He just don't have any proof about it. Mr. Y/L/N has a similar theory which he discussed with Esteban when they were in the garage earlier.
Y/N opens the box and she saw a gold chain with the letter V. It was a very beautiful necklace and it seems expensive as well. She musters up a smile as she thanks her boyfriend.
"This is beautiful Vincent" Y/N admires as she takes it off the box.
"I know."Vincent agrees "When I saw it in the store, I immediately thought of you"
The thoughts were sweet but Esteban couldn't help himself.
"Mate"Esteban calls "Y/N doesn't wear gold"
It was the truth that Y/N never wore any gold jewelry but since it was a gift, she was putting on a smile. Esteban knows that Y/N is just being appreciative to be respectful. Frankly, he was a bit pissed off that Vincent didn't even pay attention to that simple details of Y/N.
"Oh, I didn't know that"Vincent sheepishly grins "I didn't notice that, maybe I should take it b-"
"No, no. I'll wear it, its the thought that counts"Y/N settles.
"Next year, I'll get you a better gift" Vincent assures.
Mr. Y/L/N and Esteban could only share an eye roll, they really hope that they don't get to see Vincent next year around.
06-26-2018
Dear Diary,
Today is emotionally draining and I find it hard to sleep with a lots of thoughts in my head. It feels really different to see Estie in an F1 car. I simply can't believe it that he went to watching race cars to driving one. It sucks about whats about to happen but I am so proud of my bestfriend, mon ami Estie. I will always be proud of him no matter what.
-y/n
One of the worst things that could probably happen is to not finish a race but the feeling intensifies when it happened on your home race. Esteban wanted to kick himself for his misfortune. He didn't even get a lap in when Gasly collided him thus ending their races.
"Stupid" Esteban repeats the video all over again.
The door gently opens and Esteban would have shouted to leave him alone but Y/N peeked out of the door. It was like instant moment of peace for Esteban then its back to feeling like a failure because he suddenly remembered that everyone he loves have watched him DNF live.
"Estie, they told me you were here"Y/N greeted "You wanna talk?"
"I rather not" Esteban quickly answered.
"Hey, its just one bad weekend Estie"Y/N sits next to him.
"This is that one weekend that should have been a good weekend. Everyone is watching me and I didn't even start a lap before getting fucked"
The crack in Esteban's voice signifies that it was extremely heartbreaking for him to have this performance for his home race. Y/N could only tap his shoulder for comfort.
"Estie, you will have a lot of weekends ahead of you and you still have a lot more weekends that we will be watching. Don't be too hard on yourself" Y/N comforts "You can bounce back like you always do"
"You believe in me way too much"
"You already came a long way Estie. From sitting and watching them race every Sunday to actually driving a car. You should be proud of yourself" Y/N reminds.
There was something else painful in Esteban's heart. The recent issues regarding the team doesn't guarantee him for a seat in the coming year. It was another reason why he felt so down with what happened.
"Would you still be proud of me even if I don't have an F1 seat?" Esteban asked.
"What? What happened Estie?" Y/N was shocked.
"I might not have a team to drive for next year. I don't know if anyone is going to pick me with my DNFs and everything, I'm not a good candidate"
Esteban sheds the tears he has been trying to hide. He knew that this was a safe place to talk to Y/N. Everything just felt so heavy.
"Oh my god Estie, I'm sorry"Y/N consoles her bestfriend.
The two bestfriend knew how much this Formula 1 seat meant. It was a lot of struggles and sacrifice to reach this moment. One moment they were just kids going on karting season and now Esteban was getting his F1 seat. Now its being taken away, its like waking up from a good dream.
Y/N brushes away her tears and started to pace as if devising a plan.
"Don't you dare think that just because you are not getting a team next year is that you are a bad driver. You are a great driver okay,remember that." Y/N encourages "Take the year off. Improve your skills, get better then make a comeback"
If Y/N believes that he can make a comeback then Esteban believes that as well.
02-03-2019
Dear Diary,
I had a fight with Vincent. He told me that I am spending too much time with Esteban. He wanted me to stay away from Estie like who is he to tell me what to do.
I told him to be more patient with Estie because he really needs support right now. I hate how stupid and irrational Vincent is.
-y/n
Esteban was just picking up one of his cousin at the club when he saw a familiar figure at the alley. He just wanted to say hi to Vincent but when he noticed that he was holding hands with a girl, who is definitely not Y/N, Esteban started to follow.
He watched as how Vincent pulled the girl into a kiss and all Esteban could see was red.
"OHMYGOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"The girl shouts.
Esteban lands a solid punch. He doesn't care if Vincent is drunk or whatever but he should never cheat especially on a woman as amazing as Y/N.
"I tried to give you a chance, you fucking ruined it"Esteban lands another punch at Vincent.
"What the fuck man, get off!"Vincent screams.
The fact that Esteban was willing to let go and watch Y/N be happy with Vincent. He was willing to do that because Vincent makes Y/N happy but seeing this. Its not gonna happen anymore.
Two bouncers of the club broke them off. The girl immediately tended to the beaten up Vincent, Esteban dust himself off as he sets out a threat.
"You better come clean and tell her the truth or else I fucking will" Esteban warns.
"FUCK YOU MAN" Vincent shouts back "I know you like her! I know you are just waiting for an opportunity to ruin us"
"I'm not the one who ruined the fucking relationship Vincent, it was you who fucking cheated on Y/N"
Esteban was seething as he returned to the car. His mind thumbs to call Y/N but he knows that it will break Y/N's heart terribly if he tells her the truth.
09-28-2019
Dear Diary,
I hate this feeling of being ina fight with Esteban. He said some things that aren't true and I said some things that must have hurt him a lot. I don't think we will be okay any time soon. I just wish I could have turned back time to talk about the whole thing more carefully.
-y/n
There are not many things that Esteban and Y/N disagrees with each other. It was quite rare to see them fight each other because they fit perfectly just like that. Usually, their fights are just simple misunderstandings and harmless that they will make up in a day or so.
This time its different.
Everything started when Y/N explained that she'll be moving to Vincent's apartment, something that triggered Esteban greatly. It was apparent that Y/N had no idea of what happened at the club so Esteban told the whole truth.
Y/N is in complete denial and called Esteban a liar. So here they are with their raised tones.
"If you are my fucking friend then you would have told me the minute you saw it" Y/N explained "Why didn't you fucking call"
"I was protecting you. I know it would hurt you to know the truth and I told Vincent that he has to be the one to come clean" Esteban fights back.
"Protecting me with a grand lie?"
"I thought you don't fucking believe me that Vincent is cheating" Esteban frustrated with the argument.
"I don't know who to fucking believe because you would have told me right away if its real" Y/N cried.
The emotions were all too high, they were a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Esteban could not hide the disappointment in his face that Y/N didn't believe him.
"You don't trust me" Esteban realized.
"No Esteban, its not like-"
"Then what is it like?" Esteban asked "It seems as if you totally forgot that it was me who you could always trust no matter what. You forgot that I was your bestfriend since the beginning that was always there."
Y/N didn't want to get all the blame so she strikes back again even though tears were threatening to fall.
"You know its very fucking ironic that you say that" Y/N's words were like bullets "You didn't fucking trust me to believe you either that's why you didn't call"
Esteban was speechless and then he shakes his head.
"Where are you going?"Y/N chases after.
"I'm going home, away from you"
"Fine. Don't fucking come back" Y/N slams the door.
There were a lot of things said and done. They both don't know how they regretted everything.
03-29-2020
Dear Diary,
This whole lockdown is a little bit fucked. I was cleaning up some files in my computer and I saw a photo of me and Estie. I wonder if he is still mad at me and I wonder how he is doing with lockdowns. I wanted to reach out to him but I can't help but think back how much I must have hurt him before.
Vincent is a bit stressed with the whole lockdown situation. He gets frustrated easily especially with the new work set-up. I'm sure he will get better at handling his emotions, I just have to understand this for the moment.
-y/n
Esteban was scrolling through his instagram feed. He had nothing much to do since the lockdown kept everyone inside their homes. There was this feeling of uncertainty when can they race again but Esteban could only hope that they can race again even by May or June.
His hands stopped when he saw the newest instagram post of Y/N. It was a photo of her cooking a dish and the next set of photos showcases more of her lockdown diaries.
There was a bitter smile gracing on Esteban's face when he saw the photo of Vincent. It seems as if Vincent hasn't told the truth yet or maybe he lied to Y/N that's why they are still together. Esteban feels like he could punch the guy if he ever sees him again.
Not a day goes by that he regrets that fight he had with Y/N. It was just utterly pointless that it happened and he misses her. He hopes that she is okay and maybe after this whole lockdown is over then he'll go and find her again.
With heavy sighs, he scrolls past the post without liking it.
08-01-2021
Dear Diary,
Esteban is a grand prix winner. I'm really so proud of him, I shed some tears when he reach the final lap. I don't know if its the emotions or the adrenaline but I also messaged him and I was surprised that he answered. It seems like this is a start of a good thing.
-y/n
There were no words to describe how amazing the feeling was to be on top of the podium. Esteban could only imagine that feeling before but now he is living it. Everything felt like a wild dream because when he started the race he didn't even know that he will end up being a race winner after.
Collapsing to his bed, he finally opens his phone and it was immediately buzzing with so many messages. There was one message conversation that catches his attention
Y/N: Hi Esteban! I hope this is still your number. I watched the race today and I'm really so proud of you. I want to waive a white flag because this is everything that you have dreamed of all these years. There are no words to describe how proud I am of you. You have come a long way from that kid by the swing set. You will always have my support (even if we have a cold war). Y/N: I'm also sorry. I said some things that was really not good for me to say. I'm sorry I'm doing this over a text and I'm sorry that it took me this long. Y/N: I hope you are okay. You better drink up some champagne, you deserve it Grand Prix Winner.
There was this warmth that seems to envelope him as he reads the messages. It feels nice to know that she stills supports him even though they are not talking.
Esteban catches himself smiling through his phone screen confirming that his feelings for her still exist.
"Oh fuck it, this feeling never goes away doesn't it"
01-02-2022
Dear Diary,
Vincent proposed to me today in front of a crowd today. Mentally I wanted to say no because I don't think that I am ready for it or maybe its just the fact that I'm not sure that Vincent is ready for it. I just said yes because there was a large group of people. I felt like I was put on the spot and I didn't like it.
Maybe, its just the nerves.
-y/n
Mrs. Ocon had been keeping tabs with Mrs. Y/L/N even when the two had stopped talking to each other. They often update with each others lives when they get their nails done. Today, Mrs. Ocon couldn't believe the news shared to her so she hurried downstairs to find Esteban.
"Is it true Esteban?" Mrs. Ocon asked
"What's true maman?"
Esteban has just finished doing simulations so he have not been with his phone for quite some time. His mother immediately shoved her phone to his hand. Esteban squints as she watched the video of someone getting proposed at the Eiffel Tower.
"Maman, I'm not getting married anytime soon"Esteban jokes.
He has been pestered multiple times about getting married or getting a girlfriend but Esteban didn't want any of those. Nothing could compare to Y/N so he would rather not date anyone else.
"Just look more closely"Mrs Ocon insisted.
Scrunching up his nose, Esteban finally noticed the familiar faces of the couple. And it feels like a deja vu from his experience so many years ago when he almost confessed for New Years Eve.
Only this time, the pain has been magnified.
"That's good for Y/N, I'm.."Esteban holds his breath "happy for her"
"Honey...It's okay to not feel happy.."
Mrs Ocon has been one of the witness of everything and she knows how much her son loves Y/N. She extended a hug and soon the tall French man just let all his tears fall.
01-09-2023
Dear Diary,
I called it off, Vincent cheated on me and there was another girl on the side. He got her pregnant. I felt so stupid because I have been ignoring so many red flags all these years, I should have known better. I don't know what to fucking do, I hate him so much.
"What the fuck is wrong with me"
Y/N was a mess and anyone else who have been confronted with the reality that they have been in a fucked up relationship for so long will be a complete mess.
"There is nothing wrong with you Y/N" Esteban repeated "It was not your fault that he cheated"
"I was so stupid Estie, I wasted so many years for him"
This has been an ongoing process for a while now. Its been a good two weeks since they broke up but Y/N was still stuck in a period of asking questions and crying.
"I want my fucking life back and I can't get it back"Y/N laments.
Esteban doesn't know what he could do to help but he just became the shoulder that she can lean on. It was a good thing that there weren't much to do yet, he can still be with Y/N for a while.
"You know on the brighter side of life, you are still lucky that you didn't marry him" Esteban suggested "Like imagine all the divorce and process you have to go through if you did marry him"
"I might have ugly children if I married Vincent" Y/N scoffs.
"He is not your problem anymore Y/N, just ignore him"Esteban encourages.
Y/N lets out a frustrated cry as she messes up her hair again.
"I can't just fucking ignore him. He have been with me for a good period of my life and people just expect me to move on and go on with my life. I lost so many things about myself that I don't even trust myself after him"
Tears started falling from her eyes. She wipes them up as Esteban guided her to a chair.
"I'm sorry Y/N, here lets take a seat and I'll get you water" Esteban said before leaving to go to the kitchen.
There was something so nice to have Esteban around. Even if she shouts or screams like that, Esteban is still patient and kind with her. He was not rushing her to move past what she feels, he allows her to speak.
"You know, I can survive on my own" Y/N mutters.
"I know"Esteban agrees as he handed her the water "But I wanted to be here for you. You have always been there for me when I'm at my lowest of lows, I wanna be there for you now"
It was rare to see Y/N's smiles nowadays but with Esteban saying stuffs like that, she can't help but smile. She was very grateful to have Esteban around. She didn't know how she could survive without Esteban's help.
"Thanks estie
02-18-2023
Dear Diary,
Is it too soon to open up my heart again? I really want to try but I am scared. Maybe this is what happens when you've been in a shitty relationship for so long.
I also know that I dont wanna mess up things. If I do mess up things, I'm not going to just miss someone but I'll miss that boy I met at the swingset.
Maybe this year can do me good.
-y/n
"Esteban for a driver, you are pretty slow driving normal cars"Y/N teased.
"I have to be careful, accidents always happen and I don't wanna injure you before a flight" Esteban argues.
Esteban unloads all their bags. The two of them are going abroad however they are going to different countries. Y/N is going back to her old American home and she might be there for a while. On the other hand, Esteban is going to Bahrain for the pre-testing.
"You sure you have everything?" Esteban asked "Passports? Tickets? chargers?"
"Hey Mr. I forgot my passport, dont lecture me about forgetting things"Y/N smirked.
"Just double check and don't be like me then"
For onlookers they look like a couple about to travel together. How Esteban wishes that was the case but they are just a couple of bestfriends.
"Gonna miss you mon ami"Y/N hugs Esteban "I think I see my gate over there, call me okay"
"Of course I will"Esteban assures.
Y/N was already walking a decent few meters away when Esteban started to debate if he should tell her now. It seems spontaneous but this is a now or never situation.
"Wait up Y/N!"
"Did you forget something?"she teased
She turned her head and found Esteban catching up to her. There were beads of sweat on his forehead and Y/N could tell that Esteban was a bit nervous about something.
"Actually there is something I wanna tell you" Esteban starts.
"Oh what about it?"
She tilts her head in curiosity as Esteban takes in a large deep breath.
"I never forgot my passport. I was just using it as an excuse so I can spend more time with you. I didn't wanna go away from you because I miss you and I love you"Esteban declares.
"Aww Estie, you know I love you too-"
"No, Y/N its not that kind of love"Esteban clarifies "I love you as in I love you in a non-platonic way. I love you in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in a way that I'll do everything so that I'm always coming home to you"
There was silence between the two of them. Esteban was looking for any signs of disgust or rejection in Y/N's eyes but so far those emotions doesn't seem to appear. He feels brave enough to continue further.
"Look, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I know you need time to heal from whatever happened to you. I won't rush you. I have waited since were little kids, this is nothing compared to that. Allow yourself to heal and be yourself. Explore the world. Then if you want me, I'm just here waiting for you"
Esteban's word was filled with so much love and adoration. It was the respect that Y/N needed for having suffer a bad relationship. How could she be so blind not to see what's in front of her all along.
Y/N leans to hug him.
"I won't answer this for now, wait for me to be healed okay?"she whispers.
"Of course Y/N, always waiting for you."
05-01-2024
Dear Diary,
Almost a year and so since my last entry.
I have visited a lot of places to find myself and to heal myself. It was a beautiful journey going to foreign places and trying new things. Actually gave me a new perspective in life that makes me confidently say that I am healed. Some things take a lot of time before we tend to appreciate it.
I have someone waiting for me for almost 22 years already. I'm finally going home to him.
-y/n
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