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jokeflypop · 11 days

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The Risks we take

Newt x fem reader/ y/n

Finally, my first fanfic! Tell me how I did 🫣👀

Summary: Newt is avoiding y/n after she confessed her feelings to him at a bonfire night. (Also note that in this universe, the Gladers have a bonfire night every week instead of every month. Just so it fits in the story!)

Warnings: Honestly it’s all fluff. Nothing other than a few suggestive comments, but nothing crazy!

Words:

Y/N= Your name E/C= Eye color

H/C= Hair color S/C= Skin color

H/T= Hair type (staright, curly, wavy, etc)

Sorry it’s kinda long!

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/jokeflypop/748300546927165440/the-risks-we-take

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If there was ever a right moment to die, I would love for it to be now. Embarrassing yourself in front of Newt was not something on your to-do list for today, but of course, you couldn’t escape it. And everything was going so well, too!

It all stared when you got sent into the Glade from the Box. You were, and still are, the only girl in the Glade. Other than a few, Newt was the only boy who truly respected you and saw you for who you were. As time went by, you two became great friends. You became a Runner with Minho. It took a while for that to happen. Newt begged you not to do it. He thought it was too dangerous for a , quote, ‘Reckless Shank like you’ end quote. Eventually, you were able to convince him otherwise, although you can tell he still doesn’t like it. You understood, though, that he just wanted to keep you safe. You did too, of course. But something told you that you were meant to be a runner. This was your duty, your destiny, if you will. That was the only thing stopping you from succumbing to his worrisome smile and pleading eyes.

Something grew inside of you after that day. A fluttery feeling like no other. One that made you feel like a lovesick shank everytime you glanced into those pair of soft brown eyes. It was an incredible feeling. And you could tell it wasn’t totally one sided. The way Newts brown eyes softened when he looked at you, or when he fixes his hair whenever you come around. It’s cute, and you loved it. You loved him. And today was the day you would finally tell him that. Oh how much you’d regret it later…

At the bonfire that night, you were ready. You prepared yourself well. You wore your cleanest T-shirt with a pair of green cargo pants. It revealed some of your S/C skin nicely. You let your H/T hair down, which was a rare occurrence with you. You usually kept your H/C hair in a nice pony tail. You looked good. It was a fact you weren’t gonna debate on. You felt good, too. Which was really all that matters. At the bonfire, you spotted Newt. He was sitting on the floor, back against a log. He had some of Gallys special “juice”, and was sitting alone. You walked over and sat Next to him, holding your knees against your chest.

“It’s quite the lively bonfire today.” You say, smiling softly. Newt looks over to you and you can visibly see his eyes widen ever so slightly and his lips curving into a small smile.

“Yeah, but I think thats cause you’re here. Other than that, most boys skip” Newt says as he takes a swig of the drink before handing it to you. You chuckle before taking a sip and placing it on the grass in between you two. As much as you loved Newts reaction to your outfit, you were starting to slightly regret it. It was freezing, and the warmth of the fire unfortunately didn’t help. You hugged your knees closer to your chest. You could feel Newt eyeing you. You felt something warm wrap around you. It was Newts jacket.

“Here. You probably need it more than me”. You slip on the jacket properly and flash a grateful smile.

“Thanks.” You take another sip of the drink. You and Newt talk for a while before you lean your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you. You were both pretty intoxicated by now.

“Hey Newt, wanna know something funny?” You say softly.

“Sure”

“Sometimes, I feel like my heart is about to burst when Im around you. It’s a weird feeling. Very weird.” You say. Newt pauses for a bit, making you worried. Did you say something wrong?

“Oh yeah?” Newt says, with an amused look on his face. He leans closer to your face and your heart pounds like no other.

“Yeah…” you say softly. Newt smiles softly. He looks at your face, as if studying in every detail. Then, something happens. A look of doubt on his face. He seems….conflicted. Worried, almost. He stares at you for a bit before pulling back. You see his eyes glistening slightly as he looks away from you and looks at the fire.

“Well, maybe you should get that checked by one of the Med-Jacks. Seems like something serious.” Newt says, a hint of shakiness in his voice. Barely noticeable. “I should go. We have a long day tomorrow” Newt says, before getting up and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

What. The. Shuck.

What was that? One second hes all flirty and the next he just ditches? The atmosphere was perfect! Maybe its your drunken mind, or your lack of reflection, but you were mad. And also very embarrassed. It was definitely obvious that you wanted to go in for a kiss. What were you thinking!? He basically just kindly rejected you. You put your face in your hands and sat there for a few minutes, just soaking up what happened and replaying it in your mind over and over again. You curl up in Newts jacket and wipe away a few of your loose tears that fell. It’s gonna take a lot of drinks to heal that one….

The next few days were torture. Newt has been practically ignoring you for the past few days. You’ve tried to talk to him, but he either nods you off or makes an excuse to go somewhere. Now you’ve really messed it up. Just great. One of your only friendships in the glade, ruined. And the opportunity for it to become more. Just because you couldn’t shut your shucking mouth. The days have passed in a pattern. You wake up early, leave for the maze, return and shower, try a painful attempt at talking to Newt, eat, sleep, repeat. You hated every second of it. Hated how Newt ignored you and talked to you like a stranger. Hated how his eyes no longer softened when they glanced at you. Or how he no longer cares about what he looks like when he’s around you. After a week of this cycle, one morning, you’ve had enough. You cant let a silly mistake like that ruin 2 good years of friendship. But first, duty calls. All you need to do is make it through another day in the maze. What a drag this has been…

You grab your stuff and head to the maze entrance. Minho isn’t there yet and you decide to go look for him after about 20 minutes of waiting. You find him with Newt. Oh great. This wont be awkward at all. Newt seems to be in a heated argument with Minho. You get as close as you can, which is behind a tree a few feet away, and strain your ears to listen, but you can only hear a few snippets. It’s enough, nonetheless, to piece the puzzle.

Newt: “Y/N….dangerous…….stop……maze!”

Minho: “No!…….potential…….escape…”

It was clear that Newt was fighting with Minho again to keep you out of the maze. Give you another job and get on with life. But even though this should’ve made you feel happy that Newt cares, all you really felt was rage. How could Newt judge what you do? You loved being a runner, and Newt has no say on what you do when he’s practically a stranger now. Where did he get the nerve! You’ll have to talk about it with him later. You walk over and grab Minho by the arm, practically dragging him away from Newt. You ignore Newt and walk straight into the maze. It felt good to be the one to ignore now.

#the maze runner #tmr fandom #tmr #tmr newt #tmr x reader #newt tmr #newt x y/n #newt x reader

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quodekash · 9 months

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guys jokezo just made out and now they have to share a bed together. just chew on that for a bit.

NO, DON'T GIVE ME THEM SITTING ON A BUS

GIVE ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY HAD TO SLEEP IN THE SAME FREAKING BED IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY MADE OUT

👀

(they made out last night btw)

(just in case anyone forgot)

(and then they had to share a bed)

ass x7

also zo is fully just not doing anything lmao

everyone's pushing with all their might and zo is just 🧍‍♂️

FUIWEBSDGIOUVEWJBOGD

oh the desperate thigh grab

yeah, im with him on this, they need to talk about it. especially about how they had to slEEP IN THE SAME FREAKING BED AFTER THAT

welp. I guess joke's day was just ruined in a slap to the face disguised as a few words

AND THE WAY HE TAKES HIS HAND OFF ZO'S THIGH AFTER THAT????? OUCHHHH

I must say tho, this is really giving episode-6-of-bad-buddy

its very patpran-post-rooftop-kiss-core

the vibes be gay and yearning and very very sad

OKAY, THE MOTHER, FINALLY

a few things to say about her

1. she's gorgeous

2. DAMN she is SHORT

3. I was rewatching the first four episodes yesterday and today because I could, and I noticed in the first episode, zo asked his friends to not tag him in photos they took at the bar, because "I don't want my mum to see"

but my question is... why? he's just out drinking with friends, he's an adult, he's not being irresponsible or anything, so why doesn't he want her to see the photos?

is it something to do with what his mum thinks of him? is she overbearing? does she have high expectations of him? does she kinda suck?

she's probably lovely though, and ill end up adding her to my list-of-fictional-parents-to-get-adopted-by (it's a very long list)

I guess we shall find out today as the episode progresses

oh, honey, you're so queer

the amount of times ive done exactly this

she's so short its hilarious omg

also: ive decided I love his mum

she's so sweet

and neither of them know how to use a stove and I think that's so hilarious and endearing

HSDHSHFSHDHHS

(also: this scene is making me think of akkayan at aye's house having a meal with his mum and rhbgdhjgb)

he's putting two and two together

the few braincells he has that aren't dedicated to debating are whirring in his mind

I can practically hear his thoughts

"he kissed me back... he wants to talk about the kiss... we went on two dates together at his suggestion... he showed up at my house and charmed my mother... he says I have secret admirers..." cmon sweetie youre so close

"WAIT, DOES HE LIKE ME?" omg honeybun you did it!

or maybe he didn't do it

maybe he was still shuffling the pieces in his brain but hadn't put them together and then his mum said something and distracted him

either way: that was hilarious and I want to high five dunk for his acting there

HIGH EXPECTATIONS, I KNEW IT

still love her tho

high expectations suck but she seems wonderful so far (obviously my opinion will change if the circumstances do (like if it turns out she completely sucks) but for now she's made it to the adoption list)

brb, gonna go cry real quick

well now their thumbs are making out

you see, I understand the things he's saying. and I honestly agree with him. if I were ever somehow put in his position, id probably say the same things.

HOWEVER, I just want my bl boys to kiss again and be happy and together and I appreciate the realism over the usual fantasy kinda situation we go for in bls, but I just want them to kissssss

this is very good advice

I hope that jokezo kiss again this episode

also AAAGBRDHFKBG JENGPOK CRUMBS

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO'S LOSING THEIR MIND OVER JENGPOK AGAIN

BERIUFDJKGBEORPVFD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

SHUT UP

SHUT UP SHUT UP

IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING

FHEWSDGFVESDV

THIS IS TOO FUNNY

im gonna start crying soon

its so funny

help me

girl is worried

I know this is what jeng told you to do but is during debate club really the right moment

im so certain that she ships it

awwhhhhh

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AAAAAAAAA

hell yeah

GOUERJLHDGOBIERVLDNF

AAAAAAAAAAA

IM SCREAMING

THATS IT??

THAT'S THE END OF THE EPISODE??

THEY DIDNT EVEN KISS

OR ADDRESS THE FACT THAT - and I can't stress this enough - THEY SLEPT IN THE SAME FREAKING BED AFTER FULL-ASS MAKING OUT

omg next episode is gonna be amazing

I can't wait

gekjrdsbfd I love them so much

im like 70% certain they're gonna kiss next episode so fingers crossed

ALSO NITA DEFINITELY SHIPS IT

anyway. that was good. I should go to sleep now

#quodekash's unhidden agenda to watch hidden agenda #hidden agenda #hidden agenda series #hidden agenda the series #jokezo #zojoke #pokjeng #jengpok #joongdunk #aouboom #aou thanaboon #boom tharatorn #joong archen #dunk natachai

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cherry-dr0p · 3 months

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I WISH TO RAMBLE!! IM NOT GONNA INCLUDE IMAGES BECAUSE I DONT WANNA BUT HERE WE GO

HUGE TWF4 SPOILERS

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

Im not gonna lie, the start kinda had me like "This is what I waited ages for?" But then when the animatronic testing came around, thats when my interest truly started to pick up.

First of all, WHY WOULD YOU TGINK THAT FACIAL RECOGNITION FOR ANIMATRONICS IS A GOOD IDEA??? GENUINELY DID NO ONE HAVE THE COMMON SEMSE TO GO "HM, THIS MAY END NOT GOOD". Like I kind of understand the appeal for it because they may want the kids to feel,, more connected to the animatronics?? I dunno. But like?? I can understand for that time period the desire to have the animatronics interact with the audience (Not saying its a good idea but at least I can understand with this one why they may think it is in my head), but cmon..

Then from what I remember, the sprites came. And Good god did they creep me out slightly when I first saw them, especially Edd and Molly. I dunno, there was something extra creepy in my eyes seeing kids' faces messed up like that. Crazy. I also screamed when I finally saw "Bon" because Ive been keeping up with the Twitter TWF community somewhat, which means I already technically knew about "Bon". It was pretty cool to have him finally introduced in the actual story himself. Also Charles and Susan talking about Felix's addiction and if they should tell Rosemary and Jack(?) is crazy.

Aaaahhh but then the scene with Jack came around. Was rooting for him ngl. I honestly thought he died at the well scene but I dont see any correlation to that quite yet,, mayhaps. Felix almost jumping did make me feel a tiny bit bad for him bit like,, still. Fuck you Felix. I still hate him and 100% think hes getting what hes deserving. He feels guilty? Good. He should.

I cant remember if the Susan scene comes after this or not but I erm uh,,, That was VERY well done!! It gave me chills how you could still hear her breathe. Genuinely. The blood as well and Rocket closing their eyes?? Crazy. The jittery animation drove me insane, it was such an amazing detail that made things far more uncomfortable.

I cant remember where abouts the other Felix scene came but,, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ROCKET. I DUNNO,, DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN TAKE IT WITH YOU?? PUT IT IN YOUR HOME OR RESTAURANT?? WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. I SWEAR, MY GUY HAS NEGATIVE BRAINCELLS... But I also think we all know why he's so attached,, him getting haunted by the kids is wild.

The last scene very much makes me think "Bon" is Jack. I unno, very much could be wrong but just the way he talks and is dressed makes me think he is. The fact that he knows so well of what hes talking about and the voice,, maybe the general face shape too. Me thinks its either Brian(Ive saw that theory floating around) or Jack, but Im more leaning towards Jack. It also freaked me out slightly the way Susan came on all deformed too, that was freaky. The voices of all the characters in this new afterlife were very VERY cool too. And the whole mask being given and "Bon" talking about making her "beautiful" too? That was cool. The scene with Edd and Molly debating whether to save Susan too filled my heart with a weird sort of awe. They have a great relationship as siblings together imo, I do very much love their dynamic.

It'd be cool to see the other two episodes for the finale which I think are coming out very soon!! Which is very exciting!! I 100% reccomend TWF4, it's phenomenal and the wait was 200% worth it in my eyes. You can definitely see the developers heart and soul being put into this project, which is very nice to see. In my eyes, you dont see it often. I dunno if I missed out a scene or two from my rant but overall? I adored watching this (Ive already told some of my friends to watch it >:3).

Rant over anyways, buh bye for now :3

#The Walten Files 4 #TWF 4 #TWF4 #TheWaltenFiles4 #THIS WAS SO GOOD #IT WAS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE #My honest reaction to Felix feeling guilty but doesnt do anything to help himself at all at the same time #WHAT IS HIS ISSUEEEE #You can tell what I think of Felix LMAO #Hes actually my second favourite character though #Felix is v interesting #But Brian Stells will always have a special place in my heart #God bless the man with two to five minutes of screen time

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bookishtheaterlover7 · 2 months

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Hello, Fabulous Fans of the Fandom!!! It has definitely been a hot second.

Didn't post anything about their posts, and Pap walks, for the reason that I'm pretty sure they're getting ideas from rant posts like mine... Didn't want them getting more ideas, so no rant post.

But today, I'm making an exception. 😉

Before we begin though, 👸 wants to give y'all a small warning ⚠️

To start, let's look at this photo...

Is that who we think it is?

Is it?

Nah, I'm just kidding. Don't worry if you thought it was Albitch, trust me, you weren't the only one 😆

Thank you, 👸 for handing me these screenshots 😁

"Funny how, Kim Kardashian's nudes made her famous. But when AB did it, to try and get attention, we constantly mock her for it."-👸

Girl! You've got a point 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now that I have your attention, let's get to my main topic...

WTF has been happening lately?!?!

Well, for one thing, I know we're all tense one way or another about Valentine's Day. Since aside from being the most romantic day of the year, it's also the anniversary of the dreaded VDay photo dump.

And then there's the uterus-obssesed trolls from her side, expecting a baby announcement... Fuck y'all, by the way 🖕 which made me more tense about February 14.

But what happens a few hours before February 14 American time? Chris posts an adorable video about Dodger instead.

Still, that didn't help alleviate the tension. Because Dodger might help a little, but he's been used before, and it most definitely wasn't fun.

But then, it turns out Albitch isn't even in the same country. She flew to France with a bunch of friends. Friends who were seen to be posting to their boyfriends, saying how they missed them.

But why is Albitch's trip so important? Well, let me tell you. She WASN'T in the same country, when Chris just proved he's in Mass, and her friends' posts showed her WITHOUT her ring, in France.

Oddly enough, it was around this time, that photos of ringless-Chris-lookalike surfaced. The photos that were shown and sent to people/blogs that were guaranteed to get it circling the internet before the end of the day.

Seriously, are they slipping? Or was it deliberate?

Anyway, when Valentine's finally came, we were in the clear. Chris' Instagram remained silent, except for that one significant Dodger post.

Things stayed relatively quiet for a while, aside from the France trips making their rounds here and there. But it all came to a head earlier, when Chris posted on his story...

Further confirming how far apart he, and his dear "wife" really are. Who's been seen, eating out in France, still missing her ring...

I mean, really? Do y'all not eat out with finger jewelry? Is that another lame excuse y'all have for her?🙄

And three days ago, this article gets released... And the legitimacy is still up for debate, but the fact that it's here, feels like the perfect storm to me.

Not saying that it's the beginning of the end. But it's something!

Now, honestly, it's a mess in the Fandom. This whole thing is causing a shit storm, like always, and it's not pretty.

But whether or not this means something, we have to keep a level head. This could go either way. Which is why I, personally am taking the win.

Wins are few and far between right now, so, I'm taking it. And I'm also finishing two fics, and enjoying my book. Which is a pretty big deal, considering, I haven't been able to finish a book for most of last year 🥺

Thank you to my fabulous friends for sourcing me, and guiding me to the screenshots that allowed me to make my posts. Y'all truly are the best eyes and ears, a girl can ask for. 🫶

And please let me know, or feel free to add, if I forgot anything, guys😊

Until the next one!

❤️ Booky

#chris evans #chris evans fandom #booky reacts #alba baptista #booky's written works #seriously this is all kinds of possibilities #but I'll take it as a win #booky's rant post

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claudiathegremlin · 2 months

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im bored, so im gonna rant about alastor's breakdown scene

deal with it

(i also may have lost the post with most of my info but whatever shut up/j)

WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for for hazbin hotel

if you havent watched it all the way through, id reccomend that-

also speak of sensitive topics such as father issues, mental breakdowns,

i feel like i should say this, i am NOT a psychiatrist, in ANY way shape or form, and im just speaking from prior knowledge and experience, aand also my friend who has studied psychology and all that jazz immensely (say hi to ros! :)

i also make an excess of unnecessary and dumb jokes so if you cant handle that bye i guess (/j)

(will also include random images here and there of him, bcz why not)

okay, so i dont think its that much of a secret that alastor is NOT okay, mentally (and physically, i mean, look at that gash thats not healthy smh)

it could NOT have been made ANY clearer that theres something wrong going on in this mans head, and its... uhm whats the word help ive backed myself in to a corner here

theres more than one s o m e t h i n g thats wrong, i guess, and im here to give my opinion and theory on the matter so uhhhhhh

make sure to SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE AMAZING CONTENT1!1!1!!/j

okay very dumb and idiotic jokes aside smh, im gonna explore and explain each one of the reasons i think this guy is not okay, starting with

d r u m r o l l

father issues! yayyyyy amazinggggg totally not horrible haha whaatt.. anyways, there are numerous hints that alastor had, at the very least, a very problematic father, and, hey, ever notice how he's more comfortable around women?? and that he was a confirmed 'mamma's boy'? yeah, based on those two things (i only provided two reasons because, haha, i may or may not have lost the post i was using for info) i think we can concur that he had atleast SOME sort of father issues, and not the "oh yeah he's just an annoying goofy fella" kind of father issues

of course, we ALSO have the deal he made, which was brought up briefly in episode 5, and 8

and there i s kind of a funky little debate on who the deal was with, and what it was for, but the two main cantidates are lilith, and roo

and who knows what lilith/roo makes him do, even? ...okay, aside from lilith/roo, who would be the ones making him do things-

i dont know, theres not alot i can say on this matter other than its most likely alastor made a deal with either lilith or roo to save his power or something, and briefly bring up the fact that he probably does have to do some things here and there, and the fact that if it i s lilith he made the deal with, she probably sent him to help out with the hotel, maybe, i dont know

WHEWWWW OKAY THEN lets get in to some of his behaviours that are n o t at ALL good or normal, the way he treats husk and reacts to him 'caring' about his 'friends' wooo yayyyyy

also heres another alastor image so you little grubs(/j) dont get bored at the lack of things to look at woo

lets start with how he treats husk, thats just, thats not nice man dont do that :(

jokes aside though, there HAS to be some reason that he treats him like this, theres no way that its just because he owns his soul- like, unless husk did something reaallyyy bad theres no reason to treat him like that (granted, alastor IS in hell for a reason, and is NOT a normal or good person)

anyway thats it for this section because i really dont have anything and im relying on the wiki and memory alone to get me through this post shush :(

okay lets talk about his reaction to him nearly dying for his 'friends' and actually caring about them

its clear that this man has some sort of issues with caring about people, and there has GOT to be more than one reason why other than "oh no people are gonna think im a softie thats no good :( *has a breakdown musically*" i mean, it COULD be just that one, but i just really dont think it is honestly, i dont really have that diffinitive of a reason, i just really think that something happened that made him n o t want to get attached to people,

and i REALLLYYYY want to know what that reason is in season two

alright, for the last bit of this post, i think we should discuss the fact that he always smiles

we DO know that one of the reasons is that, to him atleast, a smile is a valuable tool, that keeps your friends inspired, and your enemys guessing, and always ensures YOU'RE the one in control

but its HEAVILY implied in this image that there is another reason,

if you observe close enough (not really that close, but hey who has perfect eyesight not me) you can see it looks like his mouth is stitched, and even more so to be literally always smiling so theres a possibility that either lilith or roo is ALSO forcing him to smile

then again it could just be something about him literally not being able to talk about his deal, which is also plausible

...or thats just what he looks like idk im not here to judge his fashion choices

CONGRATULATIONS!! you made it to the end of my stupid post! keep in mind that any and all of this could change at any given point, and i will update it accordingly....if i remember to

i am not using this in any way to condone his actions AT ALL, you shouldent be a cannibal, or a serial killer, or be manipulative (is that the right word???), thats unswag smh, and i am NOT AT ALL a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, once again, i only really know some of these things because my friend rambles about them, and i used to get in to crime and psychology documentaries when i was bored

so i am not at ALL a professional

thanks for reading this shit show of a post

#alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #hazbin hotel #hazbin

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elytrafemme · 1 year

Note

mhm, i’m glad you decided to explore their pairing. it’s genuinely such a comforting one, and i’m so sure i’ll read it many more times in the future :] i wanted to maybe write something of them myself, but i haven’t written anything in so long i think it would be quite embarrassing lol.

i hope you do get back into writing things soon, i adore reading your work. it’s some of the best i’ve ever read, truthfully. something about it reworks my entire brain chemistry every time i read something of yours. it’s honestly magic, mare, haha

oh, also, if you remember the cs!ranboo rp blog i made, turns out that was actually an alter in our system… so we have a cs!ranboo. sorry if that like weirds you out or anything, i just thought i should explain what happened with it. sorry about it as well, like where it turned out to be an alter instead of something for the cough syrup community. she’ll still probably answer asks and such once his blog is up and running like an actual blog for our alters. i need to get on that actually. maybe i’ll work on that tonight. the user is still the same, but feel free to unfollow it if it makes you uncomfortable! i totally get it if it does :] /gen

yeah!!! unfortunately I'm not as into OSMP anymore just by proxy of me getting really really into ace attorney and maintaining that thread of interest with cough syrup solely, but i do have thoughts about the origins characters i could share if ever prompted. i used to have a fic that was going to be o!ranboo centric in a more modern setting and there were a LOT of very extensive and debatably generous headcanons in there that i still am quite fond of.

THAT'S SO FUCKING SWEET WHAT THE HELL... that means the absolute world to me :( i got really into writing poetry lately which is still good but! dammit i miss prose. wrote a little thing last night for ace attorney and that made me feel good but like... uagh especially with cough syrup its like. these characters feel like living breathing people i can blueprint in my head and writing their world was like. a very cathartic thing for me i think. writing is extremely extremely healing and i think i'm ready to return to prose, writing less about myself and more about others as a way to explore myself. does that make sense?

NONONO YOU'RE TOTALLY OKAY!!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FRIEND i appreciate your transparency but i absolutely do not mind at all. at this point i'm now aware of like... three? two? three? alters that are fictives from the cough syrup universe in different systems. and that's all totally fine with me i have fictives of my own so like, yeah you're all good. and you don't need to worry about like doing something 'for the community' or anything-- ppl just engaging and talking about my fic already means the world to me and making content for it is just so so so fucking crazy and wonderful and amazing and mindblowing to me but you don't have to feel compelled to like. do that. i mean hell im arguably the pioneer of the cs community and god knows im not creating anything for it rn 😭 btw let your alter know that i hope hes doing well and that i say hi! i will keep following her but if SHE'S ever uncomfortable she can always lmk <3

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #<- i guess i will tag this bc i think the note about community creation is important #like people are so fucking kind to my fic and the art has been mindblowingly amazing but DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED TO DO THAT #you're so so sweet and very awesome i hope ur doing great #nightmare.fave

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pashminalamb · 1 year

Note

THOSE NICKNAMES ARE SO CUTE ABKGCFBHGG ofc you can call me either one you pick 😊. Also I hope that guy gets gum stuck in his horrible hair and is super late to an exam or something 😤😤😤. I don’t understand how some people think I want to hear their stupid comments?? Like whatever happened to the saying “if it’s not nice, don’t say it”?? Like unless we’re friends or close constructive criticism or advice is fine. But like. I haven’t seen you since school? Leave me alone. Some peoples audacity I swear 🤨🙄😤. Im sorry that that happened to you. AND YOU TELL HIM. MANS THOUGHT HE WAS CHANGING THE WORLD BY BEING RUDE TO YOU AND PROCEEDS TO LOSE A DEBATE AGAINST YOU NOT EVEN MINUTES LATER. HECK YEAH. YOU GO GIRL 😤🥰. Intelligence is so freaking hot though just saying. So like. Love everything about yourself cause there’s so much to love sweetheart ❤️❤️❤️. Also like I’m slowly falling for Nagi and Oliver but we’re not gonna talk abt that rn 👀 *swears profusely* Also also I love love love knowing random facts about all my favorite characters because it just makes them seem so real. It’s just overall really adorable. Like that invincible hero hates ranch with a burning passion and that one tired teacher loves swimming in coral reefs in their down time and that one amazing soccer player loves history. Finding out more stuff about all these awesome characters honestly makes me love them even more. Going to the gym is great btw!!! But don’t forget to also rest and not overdo it. Your body needs time to repair itself yknow? I seriously need to start going again. I was a gym rat the entire summer and I actually liked it?? I wanted to try something new and I ended up loving it. Idk it’s just the satisfaction of working on yourself and working all those feelings out and just taking care of your body yknow? But school got in the way and I keep telling myself I’ll go this weekend but I keep forgetting 💀😭. I shall add Romantic Killer to my watch list 😌. Is it an anime or a show btw? What’s it about? *sips from hot chocolate cup and hugs squishmallow* I’m still processing the ending of TR so like I need a couple business days to collect my thoughts but you’ll be the first to hear them when it hits me that it’s actually over. Also Isabelle is such a pretty name. I think it suits you 😊. As always I hope your day goes well!! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

forget to add on my last ask agjhhhshehh 💀 but why those specific nicknames? like is it cause if the emoji or something else? sorry im just curious 😅.

I'm that kind of person who keeps nicknames for everyone actually... based on what they like or reminds me of irl has a friend named dumbface . And the thing is... the word 'anon' sounds... mechanical which is why I offer emojis to people who want to interact with me and visit my blog and everytime I look at ✨ emoji all I'm thinking of is a genshin wish or starry or charm and I literally go like

'starry asked me something!! *smiles*' But yeah cause of the emoji or in case send me a name that you'd like be called by? ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Thinking if I should call 💙 anon blue...

Going back to my classmate at uni... another bonus point is that since we hadn't seen each other in a long time; with covid and all that too I'm...actually two heads taller than him. And when he tried to be rude to me again today- this time about my hair cause its short (and yk what guys say abt girls with short hair right?), I said 'You talk big for someone who has to be noticed under a microscope, you wanna lose another debate?' And he actually shut up with his mouth open and a friend of mine who shares the second major class with him just laughed

Oyaoya you're falling for Nagi and Oliver ( ⓛ ω ⓛ ) Tell me all about it

I know !! ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა The random facts about Oliver made me go 'No way. NO. WAY. WHAT.' cause there are too many things about me that coincide with him and I was just sitting there like... it does makes sense now. Cause when i was reading the manga too, I saw him and I went like... he gives me the vibe of a snake (cause I had a pet one and there's a whole history to that and it was guesswork) for some reason. *scrolls*

it's a snake alright.

Random facts just make my day and I love the fact of that one tired teacher who likes swimming in the coral reefs - pretty sure Ego is that kind of guy. When I found out that Aiku loves History I was like 'is it possible to fall any deeper for this man?'

So the thing with gym is that I was going for a good week and then i fell sick. and it kept happening back and forth until I got tired and irritated and said that i need to be consistent. And honestly? I love going to the place as well ! Plus I needed to get more muscle in cause... I wanna be able to lift more heavy objects. So me and my roommate were lifting this really heavy box and I couldn't get it over my head and nearly busted my skull but luckily they're stronger and taller than me so I was safe; I don't want to experience that again and that's why i decided to go to the gym. that and for mental stability and being fit as well ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

My classes do get in the way of me going to gym and studies take up my time too and that's why i balance everything. Priorities take first place, write little everyday and when its ready, I post it.

So Romantic killer is an anime about a girl who cares only about three things : gaming, her cat and chocolate. And cause of that, she's disconnected from the real world and can't fall in love with anyone the way i've been called out on with this show so a wizard who made an otome video game comes (their name is riri), and tries to set her up with this guy named Kazuki. And its all about her resisting him

His voice sounds very familiar though *goes to check* yeup, Kamitani Hayato from Gakuen babysitter club and weather report from JJBA

I just heard about TR from one of my friends. And I'm surprised abt it actually, maybe I should read from where i left off (forgot to ask about terano south) but take your time. I'll be there to hear all about it ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)ა

My name... has taken one too many dad jokes, comes with being the youngest ig . DoorBELLE BELLEring

Not to mention the spellings and older people, ‘Isabella’ no, it’s Isabelle, Isabel? Izabel? No, Isabelle

Oliver : Tinker belle.

That is acceptable.

*sending warm hugs*

#Belle. ☏#.lost sheep : ✨ anon

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sk3tch404 · 1 year

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The fact that I actually recognise that person-

Was actually debating whether to block them a while back and then forgot about it but omfg yeah I shoulda done it 💀💀💀💀 idk how to explain it properly but they strongly remind me of the IRL_Clowns situation back on TikTok for some reason (the summary should still be up when you search for it I think) although they haven't reached that same lvl of..... 'Bro wtf' yet, I think

Also it's not like Aponia could whitewash Naib more than Netease already did themselves fr

Yes just block him soon...

Wait, did I ever tell you guys we were mutuals? Oh no, I didn't. Let's recap.

I understand as a fictive you can't control the characters you see yourself as, but uh yeah...

I don't mind irl's or fictives, but sometimes y'all get a little out of hand. Like...

Wow defending Phillips racist backstory and character... How interesting.

You can be an irl of whoever u want I really don't give a fuck. I'm glad they're 'not racist' as people, but can they at least acknowledge PHILIPPE'S CHAFACTER IS RACIST? HIS CHARACTER TRAILER LITERALLY HAS A BLACK PERSON WITH DRAWN WITH ETHNIC FEATURES TURNING INTO A WOLF. AN ANIMAL.

DEEMING THEM AS CRIMINALS BASED ON PHYSICAL STRUCTURE. HOW IS THAT NOT FUCKING RACIST.

You don't have to be EVERY SINGLE TRAIT of that character as a fictive, but at least acknowledge the character you are is a bad person dude 💀

Ain't it funny when you pick and choose what to speak out on?

He can't STAND IT when racist black caricatures are on screen, but when his irl S/O cries about being seen as racist even though the character they are, Philippe, is racist in his work, deeming ethnic black features as a aggravated wolf ready to strike, that's when he goes tell them to do they things they like. Take their mind off of things and take a nap.

Yes this makes total and perfect mature sense. Good job team of 7 braincells.

I also think how it's a bit funny how despite me telling him my real age when I was 13 (almost 14) and they were 16, (Probably almost turning 17 because a bit after that they had 17 in their bio) they still replied with sexual implications for the characters even though they told me,

Murder stuff only huh? I get making sexual jokes with your friends, but I can't look down at someone nearly 3 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME, and be comfortable making those kinds of jokes.

I'm not saying he's a predator, no no not at all. What im saying is, that even though he may have tried making me feel welcomed and tried to be friendly, it was not in my best interest safety wise.

This had me thinking that making semi sexual jokes with older people was normal and okay. It is alright once in a long while, but I remember multiple occasions where he would respond with something like, "Oh yeah Naib blows readers back out when Eli isn't around."

Of course that isn't specific, but it isn't too far from incorrect.

At the time, I was still trying to be more social and getting over my social anxiety. It made me happy that someone ONLINE paid attention to me with positive things to say. Even if they were very... Effortless or braindead smut.

Now I'm not saying he had to reply to every one if my asks with a full mental analysis, but at that time, I just felt worthless and disappointed with the responses. Though I can understand why he had only replied with one sentence or two most of the time. The guy was answering a FUCK ton of asks every single day. I'm sure there was a lot of pressure there too.

He was also reblogging with his S/O a million times every day so there's that I guess.

He uses the same 7 brain cells with every ask. Literally just porn, porn, porn and porn. I don't have an issue with legit pure thirsting, but honestly the intelligence in the room dropped to 25 everytime I went on his blog.

He claims not to be racist and points out misrepresentation, yet chooses to turn a blind eye to his irl fictive S/O when they feel bad bc the racist character they are, is being seen as racist.

He didn't tell me to not make sexual jokes and set those boundaries once again knowing I was about 3 years younger, but encouraged them with keyboard smashes and more thirst.

Sending in semi sexual asks were mistakes I made on my part alone, but seeing it as entertaining and allowing it to continue was something that made him amplify the issue even further.

Being a fictive is difficult and messes with your mental health a lot, but that doesn't give him an excuse to defend explicitly racist characters when your fictive gf/husband cries about it. Just because you're ill or are an irl doesn't mean you are excused from these sort of things.

I don't know how it is to struggle with being one, or will ever know what it feels like, but I can be sure when I say, I do not tolerate picky hypocrites.

He wants to point out Kurumi for 'white washing' Naib? Okay, I get it. Doing the right and moral thing huh? Well then, allow me to point out the things I had experienced during time I spent and lost during the late year of 2020 and the entirely of 2021 - 2022.

Naib was already pale to begin with. Kurumi couldn't white wash him if he was already that color.

After all, even if they wanted to 'white wash' Naib, Netease already beat them to it. Netease is a colorist, racist, offensive, and overall problematic company.

Every single character of theirs has their issues and faults, but this 'white washing' accusation that has fallen on Kurumi's shoulders has weighed heavy enough. They are simply not true and have fallen short.

Kurumi is not a native English speaker. They were confused and anxious while he confronted them. They only had a basic understanding of what he was trying to say. I talked to them and it was never their intention to hurt anybody, especially people who are colored like me.

If he wants to confront someone improperly, it should be me. Not her.

I don't want drama. I just want what's hiding in the dark, to come out into the light. Thank you, have a good rest of your day.

#yanderefantasies #nana talks #yandere #i had waited for so long to say this #looking back now #the things they were saying and posting with me #make my uncomfy #these past two years on that blog has been one hell of a journey #you HAD TO BE THERE #to understamd what it was like

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strilonder · 2 months

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Slight eye strain warning <3 *🍬

+ homestuck jumpscare hehhahhahehs >:))

HIHSIJSI HI GUYS UHHHMMMM THIS IS HOW I REMEMBER MY SOURCE/CANON UNIVERSE :33 *🍬 (IM ROXY BTW)

No, these will NAUT match up wit the hit webcomic Homosuck >8( if u go into the notes and say some stuff lik “uhhhmmm wtf, the storyline makes no sense, X would NOT behave like that and is NOT transgender 🤨🤨🤨” SHUT UP this is where I came from and who I grew up with. if you cant accept their identities, then you can GLADLY leave >8[ anyways, heres some info about my friends and family :3

John Egbert —> Juhne Egbert

- girlboy boygirl, every and any pronouns

- is such a nerd, loves dnd (dungeons and dragons)

- def neurodivergent. would ramble on for hours about mythology and pokemon and sntuff

- always loved hiking and swimming with Jake

- bisexual/omni? i dont know, mightve dated vriska because they said the two of them were pretty close + he and Dave were hella fruity lmao

Jake English —> Jake Englishman

- cishet aroace guy, he/him 833

- loved shooting ranges, adventuring, and fishing but was a huuuuugggeee wuss when it came to literally everything else

- he has such cute moles all over him + you see that rat tail (he REFUSES to cut it even when some of us tell him it sucks. it goes really good with him tbh 8))

- color matching earings with Jane!!!!

- dated Jane for a while I’m pretyy sure. not sure if they still were before i left their reality 8(

Dirk Strider —> Dirkie Strilonde (MY POOKIE!)!!!

- transmasc (no hormone therapy cause DUHHHH were on ALIEN PLANETS >:PP), he/hit

- auughshsh had such FLUUDFFY HAIR UHRGHS <33

- loves birdwatching and bird feeding, honestly so cute whenever he pointed out the species of birds we came acorss

- hits wearing AR jr btw, jr is sooo adorable and dirkie is an amazing papa

- i honestly duno his orientation but lets just say hes queer :33

AR/Auto-Responder/Lil Hal —> AR/ARon

- is above gender, uses it/they pronouns but couldnt care less about misgendering

- its body was made from Brobot’s scraps and runs on uranium!

- bakes with Jane often and likes having rap offs with Squarewave and Sawtooth

- romance? sexuality? robots cant feel, idiot!!! /nsrs /lh

- likes to spar with anybody and everybody. tickle fights and pillow throwing ambushes are common when around the Strilonde residence!!!

Jane Crocker —> Janise “Jane” Crocker

- cishet girlie <3, she/it (pronouns do NOT equal gender!!! Remember dat :3)

- has bracelets of dirkie and jake and a hairband of me!!!!!

- her hobbies are baking, cooking, diving, and mathematics!!

- best friend for gossip >:))

- yes, those are troll horns on her :3 She is half troll!!!

Dave Strider —> David “Dave” Strilonde

- cis bi guy, he/gear prnouns

- Had black feelings for Karkat and flushed ones for Terasi (Terezi)

- usually play-fights with ARon and Jadethon (Jade) and has a fanbase for Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff!!!

- when the katana was thrown at the crow, it missed it but hit the beta, which then hit a black labrador. future dave prototyped himself and the labradorsprite together, who were then fused with current dave during the god-tier ascension. thus creating PUPPY DAVE!!!!!!!!

- age and pet regresses with Jadeth often (Jaspersprite and Fefetasprite is their caregivers/owners 833)

Rose Lalonde —> Rose Lalonde (for some reason, only meh and Rose are Lalonde and not a Strilonde like de boys ‘,:7)

- cis lesbian woman!!!!!!, she/her/horror

- loves planting with her gf Kanaya and her qpr partner Jadeth <3

- lives wit Beta/pre-scratch Mom Lalonde and ARon and Dave!!!! (Me and Dirkie live w the Egberts and Crockers)

- a satanist wiccan 8)

- a complete nerd who listens to Juhne’s rambling and debates w her about cryptids like mothman and bigfoot

anyways thats it for now lololol I RLLY RLYY LOBE ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THEY ALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME 8)))

..strilonder : <3

..strilonder : dudeool

..strilonder : ort

..strilonder : Roxy

#..strilonder : <3 #da/irl #delusional attachment #irl/da #d/a #homestuck #hstuck #hom3stuck #hs^2 #..strilonder : dudeool #..strilonder : ort #..strilonder : Roxy

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smashleestar · 2 years

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So I don’t like to write on here because I’m pretty sure all my ex thinks is that I have this account to stalk him and honestly that’s not the case.

The truth to say the least is that there were a lot of things going on while I was being thrown in and out of mental houses that I missed. I missed a lot. I try not to be bitter about it or completely feel the sadness that is there when I think about it but all I can do is move on and continue to be the person that I am today.

I have a cosmetology website. One in which I can’t remember the password, nice going eh? But it has a lot of the pictures that I took while I was in cosmetology school. Cosmetology school and earning my master teachers has been one of my greatest accomplishments in life and I am so thrilled to have done so.

I am in love. Yes. Finally I am in love. It took me taking a lot of risks and trust me, we haven’t been without fights and trying to see from the others point of view, but I’ve truly found someone I know I can be happy with and that makes me so happy. It’s all I ever wanted, truly, and he loves me to pieces.

I’ve debated taking my tumblr down but there are so many cool posts on it I couldn’t ever see myself doing that. I probably won’t write on here very often, I write only occasionally now compared to when I was a teen and in my 20s. But I’m happy to share my little successes and still express myself through writing like I have always loved to do.

With that being said, I’m in a new house, I’ve finally moved from living in a place that was not so great to living in a place with a good amount of freedom. Not totally there yet but it is what it is. I have learned to love the summer, and with that being said I’m still stoked for fall already this year. My car has been in the shop, im officially a Pennsylvanian because I collided with my first deer, but it’s set to be finished tomorrow morning. I’m living with a very good friend I’ve made and once again, I’m happy as a clam in the relationship department.

There’s really not much more to say. These days I find it hard to really write about anything more than the mundane daily activities but I wrote two poems yesterday so that’s good.

Life is good. I’m happy. I’ll never fit in to the version of normal society has asked me to be but I’m totally cool with that. I like who I am and the one I love sees me just for that and loves me all the same. I am truly blessed.

I won’t keep you. I know you and I’d both rather be searching the internet for the latest Halloween pieces. But I hope you’re happy to know that I’m happy. I hope you know that I’m grateful for you to be my follower.

It’s all in the hips… one step at a time.

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aquagustd · 2 years

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help 😭 what should i do about my cousins ex girlfriend that keeps on trying to talk to me? the obvious answer is to tell her to stop but listen, i can’t say no to someone. let’s name her ashley (don’t ask why lmao i don’t know either). so ashley had ig told one out of two of her friends that she was with at the time, to ask me if i wanted to sit with them during lunch. and of course i said sure because that’s just me, i’m always nice to everyone. but here’s where i knew she was a red flag, as soon as i sat down with her yesterday, she asked me if i related to my cousin. i didn’t even know she was my cousins ex because honestly i don’t care. my cousin doesn’t care about me nor talk to me ever, so i don’t know much about his life. we used to be best friends but as we grew older, he got popular, and well let’s just say i’ve never had a friend in my life before. so just from me never talking to people at my school, i knew there was something off from the start. because someone like ashley, who’s popular, doesn’t talk to people like me out of know where. you know? like it doesn’t add up, unless she wants something from me—but back to what i was saying about ashley asking me if me and my cousin were related, i’m pretty sure, like 99.9% sure, that she’s just using me to get back with my cousin since him and his current girlfriend had broken up for like a few days because of some rumors people made.

but i just saw my cousin — let’s give him a name because it might be confusing, i’ll name him jacob and his girlfriend, emma. so i saw jacob and emma at his house today so i guess they worked things out? not sure if that just happened today but i hope word spreads around and ashley stops talking to me.

but what gets me so mad and confused is that ashley didn’t even talk to me today after she was literally the one that wanted me to sit with them. like huh???🤨 what was the point then? wasting my time. but anyways i just talked to one of her friends sitting next to me because i know she’s nice since she’s been in one of my classes before. this has always happened to me tho, since literally elementary school. people using me to get to my cousin. it makes me feel like no one would ever want to talk to me for me. am i really that lame and pathetic? i’ve always had a “idgaf” mentality but this actually hurts me. i feel so used. i’m so angry at ashley for using me that im debating whether or not to say something about it tomorrow if she asks me again to sit with her.

i have severe social anxiety tho so i don’t think i could ever actually call her out on it. ugh i literally hate myself for saying yes every time and letting myself get taken advantage of over and over again. it’s so embarrassing when i’m sitting with them just seeing all the kids look at me and laughing because i’m pretty sure they know ashley’s real intentions.

i’m sorry for ranting and writing so much. i just had to let it out. hopefully you or any readers who actually took the time to read all this, because omg i wrote a lot, can give me some advice. im truly stuck and feel so pathetic rn 😕

I got your other ask too & Im totally fine with giving advice lmao i love giving big sis advice heh as long as there’s no trauma dumping/over sharing 🫠

okay. to start off — from what you’ve said — it’s definitely looking like she only tried to talk to you/get you to sit with her bc she wants info on your cousin. bc why else would she suddenly ask at the same time that your cousin & his gf had a lil fallout ?? AND THEN not talk to you after things look good for them again. that’s weird 🤨 that’s suspicious 🤨

also you’re not lame at all. i have like 3 friends bc i don’t really mingle with people & i have major rbf so i’m not very approachable in public either 💀 BUT you are not lame at all !! social anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with & don’t ever put yourself down over something you can’t control.

if you have a history of people only speaking to you bc of your cousin, & with the way ashley is acting. the signs are there. i suggest that you should just not sit with her from now on. and if she approaches you again & if you literaly don’t want to go through that feeling of being used/ignored again when she was the one who called you over — then just brush her off. politely say no. since you’re someone who doesn’t do confrontation, and you don’t want to put yourself into a difficult and uncomfortable situation.

just shake your head & walk away, if you can’t say no in that moment. trust me i know what social anxiety is like. 🥲 but pls don’t ever put yourself in a situation where you know you’re gonna be feeling like shit.

also you could make it clear to her, like just casually drop it in the conversation that you & your cousin do not talk, you don’t interact so you really don’t know what’s going on in his life. she’ll get the hint and leave you alone if info about him is all she wants 🤚🏻

i hope that helps <3

#squishies

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kuiinncedes · 2 years

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first in person semester has been completeddddd klgjhkldsjf

#it was a semester #in person #wow #lol now i have four hours before i'm meeting my friend for dinner and then we're gonna get boba and hang out and spin glowsticks slkhgsdf #i haven't gotten boba in so long bc i'm lazy and also there's so many boba places i feel like i can easily like just #get boba every day lmao which some people do apparently XD #anyway that's unrelated but im excited bc i like boba i just use laziness as my self control to not get it very much lmao #debating if i shoulddd go like buy some stuff for my family from the like store with a bunch of like merch for our schoo #l basically XD it's probably expensive but #honestly why should i bother bc my family hans't really done xmas for a couple years i think the past two years was #mainly me buying gifts sklhglsf and my mom was like omg great we'll just let you two (me and my brother) get gifts from now on #and i'm like uhhhhhhh that's not reallyyyyyy #we don't really celebrate anyway so whatever :P #anyway lol just talking about random shit apparently XD i could go do that and then come back and start packing to leave tomorrow ksldglfdj #ok but also i was thinking about the beginning of the semester and over the summer how i was like really scared and convinced that #i wasn't gonna make any friends and i was just gonna be alone in my room the whole time #but here we fucking are #there have been friends that have been made #wild #not me reflecting or something lmao #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my friend has a four hour exam which is why i'm meeting her in four hours #why is it FOUR HOURS that's horrible lol #jeanne talks

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fett-djarin · 3 years

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Stress Relief

Here it is! This is entirely self indulgent and filthy! Im a wh*re for the croissant guards

Also I headcanon Fox looking like how amikoroyoaiart draws him. her art is so good!

Commander Fox x f!reader

Crossposted on ao3

Rating: 18+

Length: 3.9k

Warnings/Tags: Oral (m receiving), that good sloppy toppy, office sex, cursing, light grinding, making out

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

Bringing the Guard their morning caf had become a tradition, of sorts. You knew the caf in the mess wasn’t good--in fact, it was barely even palatable. When you first started as a new secretary, it had been your timid way of offering friendship to the imposing troopers who worked so hard to keep the planet safe. They warmed to you quickly. Thire was the first to remove his helmet in front of you, plonking it down on your desk and taking a long pull of caf barely a second after you handed it to him. At your stunned look, he had just raised a brow and said, “Long patrol last night,” with a shrug.

As the others had become more comfortable with you, you had seen most of them without their buckets at some point--except for Fox. He always took his caf with a polite “Thank you, ma’am,” and retreated to his office. You knew it was against regulation for them to remove their helmets while they were on duty. But even when you dropped off the caf in his office, he was at his desk with his helmet on.

“He keeps it on so you can’t tell if he’s actually asleep,” Thorn told you one day. “I suspect he even does it while we’re standing guard sometimes.” You laughed aloud at that. The serious Commander Fox, asleep standing up. He was right though, you never would be able to tell.

The first time Fox removed his helmet in front of you, you hadn’t expected the gray dusting his temples, but honestly you weren’t surprised. The poor man was stressed beyond belief and worked half to death. You were more surprised that he finally did it in the first place. Fox sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls, before taking the caf and giving you a tired smile. He thanked you by name that time. You tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

From then on, he had been without it more when you went into his office. You even caught him sleeping once--head resting on his folded arms, bucket set next to him--and had done your best to deliver the caf without waking him. Maker knew he needed the sleep more than he needed hot caf--if Thorn hadn’t told you he snuck naps with the helmet on, you would think he ran off caf and stubborn will alone.

One morning, after you had passed out caf to the others--and a little cup of whipped cream for Grizzer--Fox hadn’t made an appearance, so you made your way to his office to drop it off. You knocked lightly on the door. “Come in,” his gruff voice called, and the door slid aside. You smiled at him, noting the way his shoulders visibly relaxed at seeing it was just you. You set the cup down on his desk. You had just turned when a touch on your wrist stopped you.

Fox was looking up at you, helmet cocked to the side. “You know you don’t have to bring us caf every time you work, right? The boys better not be nagging you for it.”

“I know,” you said. “I enjoy doing it. And it’s the least I could do.”

“The least you could do?”

“You all work so hard. You deserve more, even if it’s just better caf.”

He squeezed your wrist gently. “You don’t owe us anything. It is our duty to the Republic--”

“I know, Fox,” you tried to hide your grin, and failed. “But you’re also my friends.”

That seemed to surprise him, hand falling from your wrist as he sat back in his chair and regarded you curiously. You made your way back to the door, pausing in the entryway and looking back over your shoulder.

“Have a good morning, Commander.”

“...You as well, ma’am.”

The door slid shut behind you. Fox slipped his helmet off, setting it on his desk and staring hard at the door you had disappeared through. His eyes flicked to the paper cup of steaming caf, brows furrowed.

It was the first time you had called him by his name.

Friends?

----

After that day, Fox seemed to be trying to talk to you more. Instead of taking his caf and running off, he would stay, either to chat or just hang around for a minute with you and the other Guards. Stone nudged Thire, who nudged Thorn, and they all looked over to where Fox leaned his hip casually against your desk and you were laughing at something he said.

“Did someone replace Fox while we weren’t looking?” Thire questioned under his breath.

“I’ve never seen him so...cheery,” Stone said.

You smiled up at Fox, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth. They watched as your fingers grazed the back of his hand where it rested on your desk. “Think something’s goin’ on between those two?” Thorn asked, gesturing vaguely over towards you and Fox with his cup.

“Absolutely.” Thire didn’t hesitate to answer.

The three quickly snapped to attention as Fox excused himself, heading their direction. You gave them a small wave. Thorn was about to wave back before Thire thumped him in the arm.

“Don’t you have duties to attend to?” Fox grumbled as he passed them, heading to his office. “Get to it.” You hid your laugh behind your hand seeing the three Commanders scramble to disperse.

Evening rolled around, and you cocked your head side to side, stretching your neck and shoulders. You had been going over forms all day, datapad after datapad, organizing reports and requests for the Chancellor and the Senate. Your shift was almost over, and you were getting ready to go home for the night.

Various members of the Guard had come and gone, leaving and returning from patrols. Senators and representatives had filtered through; less and less as the evening progressed. You were just getting ready to leave when Fox stalked through, back from his rounds, tense and practically vibrating with irritation. He didn't even spare you a glance as he disappeared into his office. If the doors weren't automatic, he likely would have slammed it shut.

You knew he had a thankless job--a job he had no say in having, either. Usually it was something to do with the Chancellor that got him so worked up. Half the time you thought Fox would strangle the man himself if he could. Maybe you should take Fox out to one of the cafes nearby, just for a second to breathe and not carry the weight of the Guard on his shoulders. Was that against regulation? It might be better to invite him back to your apartment. Or did that imply too much?

You pushed yourself up from your chair, mind made up. He could always say no. You wouldn’t be offended.

You paused outside the door to his office, listening carefully. You couldn’t hear anything from the other side. So, you knocked.

“What.” Fox’s biting tone surprised you, but you didn’t take it personally.

“Commander? I...It’s me,” you said hesitantly, and then wanted to smack yourself. Confidence. “Is everything alright?”

No response. You took the silence as a sign that he wasn’t interested in talking. That was fine. You didn’t want to impose if he needed time to himself. The door slid open just as you had stepped back, intending to leave. Fox sighed, jerking his head to direct you inside.

The door shut behind you, and Fox sat heavily in his chair at the desk. Another deep sigh, and his shoulders slumped. He pulled his helmet off, setting it aside, and you caught a glimpse of the dark circles under his eyes before he put his head in his hands.

“Commander Fox?” You took a tentative step forward, so you were close enough to reach out and touch his shoulder.

He looked up at you. There was still tension lining his shoulders, hands flexing into fists and then relaxing. Stress. He opened his mouth to say something, frowned, and then closed it again. He cleared his throat. “Did you need something?” You could tell he was making an effort to soften his voice, likely as to not snap at you again.

“I just wanted to check in, sir,” you said, coming around the desk to stand next to him, leaning your weight against it. “It looked like something was bothering you.”

He waved his hand in the air vaguely, brows pinched. “You don’t have to call me ‘sir,’ you’re not one of my men.” He looked like he was debating saying more, so you waited patiently, quietly, hoping he recognized that you were here to listen if he so needed.

“As you likely know, there’s a gala coming up. Senators, politicians, ambassadors, Jedi….” Fox huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s going to be a security nightmare. And the Chancellor,” he spat, venom in his voice, “has been on my case about patrols and the Guard. Always demanding more. We’re spread too thin, and not getting the support we need--” he cut himself off. He was getting himself worked up again.

You placed your hand over his where it was clenched into a fist on the desk. It relaxed under your touch. Fox heaved another sigh mixed with a groan. “I’m behind on paperwork too,” he glared at the stack of datapads sitting to the side. “I don’t know where I’m supposed to find the time to do everything.”

“Hmm,” you reached over and picked up one of the datapads, skimming through it, hopping up so you were now sitting on the desk. It was just a patrol report that needed Fox’s signature before being filed. “What’s your CC number?”

“CC-1010,” he answered instantly, then regarded you with suspicion. “Why?”

You signed the bottom of the form: CC-1010, “Fox,” and submitted it.

“What are you doing?” his voice seemed to have kicked up an octave.

“Helping you with your work. I deal with paperwork and holoforms all the time,” you said, picking up another datapad and scanning through the information. “Most of the time it’s to make sure there’s a document trail. Most of these probably don’t need an in-depth review, they’re not important. They just go in the archives and are never looked at again.”

“I--you--that’s illegal,” he sputtered. But he seemed more surprised than serious.

You raised a brow at him, signing his designation and name once again before submitting the next form. “Are you going to arrest me?”

“No,” he didn’t hesitate. Interesting. Then he had a thought. “Your handwriting doesn’t even look like mine.”

“Doesn’t it?” you showed him where you had signed. It was almost identical to his scrawling script. His eyes flicked between the form and your face, incredulity on his features.

“How…?”

You shrugged. “It’s something I’ve always been good at. Saved me a lot of trouble as a kid when I needed my parents to sign for something at school. Especially when it was a disciplinary note.” Fox barked a disbelieving laugh at that and you couldn’t help your sly smile. “Even if I didn’t mimic your signature, no one would notice. Or care. You could mark the lines with an X and it would go through; it’s only the acknowledgement they care about. You can even draw a loth-cat face and have that be in the archive forever as a signature.”

“Don’t you dare,” he threatened with a chuckle. “Some of these aren’t just patrol reports though. I actually have to read through the more important ones.”

You handed him a holopad as you picked up your third. “How’s this: we work on these together; if I find one that has important information or requires more than a signature, I’ll give it to you.”

He regarded you for a long moment, debating your offer. Some of the weight had lifted from his shoulders; he looked less tense, less overwhelmed, even less exhausted. Then he slowly nodded. “All right,” he said. “But you have to let me buy you coffee for once.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“We’re friends. Right?”

That stopped you short. You did consider him and the other guards friends, but to hear him say that he also considered you one...it was nice. It made a pleasant warmth flutter in your stomach, and you couldn’t help your shy smile at his words. “Right,” you agreed. The soft upturn of his lips made your breath hitch. He looked so young when he smiled.

The two of you worked in companionable silence, steadily making your way through the stack of datapads. You had been correct--most of them were unimportant; standard reports and forms that required a signature purely for protocol. Every once in a while you handed one over to Fox for him to read through. Slowly, your free hands had crept together, and Fox hoped to the Maker that you didn’t notice how warm his cheeks had gotten.

Your thumb rubbed soothing circles over the back of his hand, and he didn’t notice he was staring at the way your fingers moved rather than reading through the form you handed him until you cleared your throat. “Fox?” you asked quietly. His gaze landed on your lips. He wanted you to keep saying his name, he wanted to hear it again and again--

You brushed a stray curl back from his forehead. A tug on your arm had you stumbling forward off-balance, and you would have fallen if strong arms had not wrapped around you and pulled you into an armored chest. Heat rushed to your face at the new position you found yourself in: sat in Fox’s lap, his hand still entwined with yours.

Then he kissed you.

It was gentle, soft. His lips pressed to yours chastely, far more gently than you expected him to be, and you felt the datapad fall from your hand. The sharp clatter of it hitting the ground made Fox pull back, but then you grasped the back of his neck, twining your fingers in his curls, and pulled him back to your mouth. He tossed his own back on the desk with a groan as your lips met again.

You licked the seam of his lips, and he opened for you. Fox was content to let you lead. His hand gripped your hip, and he sighed into your kisses, melting from your affection. You don’t know how long the two of you stayed like that--tasting, breathing each other in, sharing languid kisses full of pent-up desire.

His wild curls were soft in your fingers, and he all but purred when you lightly scratched your nails along his scalp. The hard plastoid of his thigh plates was uncomfortable underneath you, and you shifted your hips slightly in an effort to find a more comfortable spot. The breath hissed out through Fox's teeth, and your face flushed with warmth realizing you had brushed against his codpiece. His fingers tightened on your hip and thigh, pulling you towards him, encouraging your hips to roll against him again.

It was an awkward angle, with you sitting with your legs thrown over his lap, but from the hitch in Fox’s breathing it was doing something for him. You hummed into his mouth before pushing yourself up, holding onto his broad shoulders for support as you swung one leg over so you were now straddling him, chest to chest.

“Better?” he rumbled, nipping your bottom lip before soothing the sting with his tongue. You squeaked as his palms cupped and squeezed your ass, tugging you closer. Both of you basked in each other's eager little breaths and soft noises, hungry and wanting for more.

"Mhmm." The new position allowed you to feel the firmness of Fox's codpiece against your center when you pressed your hips into his. Fox really appreciated the new position, with your tits against his chest and free access to grope your ass. He almost whined into your mouth at the steady slow grind you started against him.

You wanted to hear that noise again. An idea struck you. You wanted to taste him. One more deep kiss, then you shimmied back off his lap. Fox made a noise of protest and tried to pull you back to him, but you just grinned and shooed his hands away. The floor was cold on your knees as you settled between his spread legs.

“What are you--oh,” he cut off with a harsh breath as your deft fingers unclasped his codpiece and tossed it away. Immediately, your palm cupped the warm bulge at the front of his blacks. He shifted in his seat, and you noticed his cheeks and ears had flushed a shade darker. How cute.

“Commander,” you purred, slowly stroking him through the fabric.

“Y-yes, cyare?” His hands flexed at the arms of his chair. He was struggling to not reach out and pull you back on his lap. Normally so composed, Fox now looked wrecked with his lips slightly parted, kiss-swollen, and hair mussed.

“Will you let me suck your cock?”

Fox spluttered and fumbled at your bluntness. You bit your bottom lip, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, still slowly stroking him over his blacks. You could see him fighting with himself. Maker, he wanted it. He wanted to see your pretty lips wrapped around his length. But he also didn’t want you to feel like you had to--he also desperately wanted to pleasure you.

“Please?” you leaned forward and mouthed at his clothed erection, letting your spit soak the fabric. Your eyes locked with his, looking up at him with your best faux-innocent look, like you had no idea what you were doing to him. But Maker, you were hungry. You wanted him.

“Fuck,” the word sounded as if it had been punched out of him. His pupils were blown wide, black swallowing the rich brown of his irises. “Fuck, yes--”

You wasted no time in tugging the band of his blacks down. A shiver worked its way through him; seeing you on your knees in front of him was a dream--a dirty little fantasy he would never admit to. Many nights alone in his quarters or in the showers he had roughly fisted his cock to the thought of you in situations that were most definitely unprofessional, biting the back of his hand to keep his noises at bay. And now here you were, the sweet secretary, making his dreams become reality.

The sliver of warm skin revealed to you made you instantly want more, and you couldn’t stop from pressing a light kiss to his hip. Then you eased his leaking cock from his blacks. Fox hissed in a breath through his teeth as your hand loosely wrapped around him, pumping his length slowly. The precum that dribbled from the tip slicked your grip. He was thick and firm in your hand, like velvet-wrapped durasteel.

The first stroke of your tongue against his cock made him curse. You licked slowly, working your way from tip to base and back, tracing the pulsing vein that ran along the underside. Taking the head of his cock in your mouth, you tasted the salty tang of the precum that leaked from him. When you hummed around him, his hand shot to your hair, fingers winding through the strands. He didn’t push you down or pull you away; instead, he merely just...held on.

Fox’s breathing kicked up watching you worship his cock with your tongue and hands. You enjoyed watching him try to hold himself together, slowly making him fall apart piece by piece. Your head bobbed up and down his length, each time taking more of him. Your hand continued to pump and work the rest you hadn’t fit in your mouth. He breathed out a string of words in a language you didn’t understand, but from the tone it sounded like he was praising you.

All his little noises were making the heat coil in your core. Wetness pooled between your legs, and you clenched your thighs together for the slightest bit of relief. You closed your eyes to concentrate, focusing on the weight of his cock on your tongue, the heat of his body. You slowly took more of him in your mouth until you felt his tip bump the back of your throat. Breathe through your nose. Fighting off your gag reflex, you swallowed around him.

“Shit! Shit, mesh’la--” Fox cried out above you, feeling your throat constrict around his length. He tugged gently on your hair, and you pulled off him with a gasp. “Fuck, if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum in your mouth.” It was meant to be a warning, but he sounded too breathless for it to carry any weight.

“But Commander,” you looked up at him, enveloping the tip of his cock in the heat of your mouth and gently sucking. His thighs twitched under your hands, cock throbbing, and you pulled off with an obscene pop. “That’s the best part.”

You were messy, letting saliva drip from your mouth and down his cock. You sucked, licked, and kissed every inch of his length until it was sopping. When you ducked down to take his balls in your mouth, his breath hitched, hand tightening in your hair, and a low moan came from him.

“Gedet’ye, mesh’la, gedet’ye--” Fox choked out.

“Hm?” You pulled back, hand wrapped around his cock and continued to pump him tightly. You twisted your wrist when your hand brushed over his head. He was panting lightly, and looked deliciously wrecked.

“Gedet’ye,” he said again, “please.”

You smiled at him, and he felt his heart jump. You looked filthy, lipstick--Coruscant guard red?--smeared, lips and chin wet with spit. “I want you to cum in my mouth, Fox.” Then you brought your mouth back to his cock and sucked, laving your tongue over the sensitive head as one hand stroked the base. The other came up to cradle his balls, and he was done for.

Fox cursed up a storm in both Basic and Mando’a, nearly doubling over as his orgasm was wrenched out of him by your clever mouth. You kept your gaze connected with his, eyes hazy and half-lidded. Warm spurts of his release filled your mouth and you eagerly swallowed it down, milking his cock until he had nothing left. Subtly, you rubbed your thighs together, so turned on it nearly hurt. Seeing Fox fall apart for you stoked the fire of arousal in your core.

He had an arm thrown over his eyes as he slumped in his chair, chest heaving for breath. “Stars above, you’re going to kill me,” he said. You giggled, hands running soothing motions over his thigh plates, even though he couldn’t feel it through the plastoid. He looked boneless and sated, which was exactly your intention--well, part of your intention.

Then he was guiding you back up, cupping your cheek and kissing you hard. It was desperate, deep, filled with so much emotion that you couldn’t decipher it, you only knew that you felt the same. You moaned into his mouth. He broke the kiss, and you noticed the glint in his eye and his sly grin before he kissed you again, standing and guiding you back to sit on his desk.

“Now it’s my turn.”

502 notes · View notes

metalbuckaroo · 3 years

Text

Date to Remember

SUMMARY// After days of thinking it over, you finally call Bucky

WARNINGS// smut, oral (m and f receiving), kinda a handjob, cursing, condoms (wow, on this blog? Surprising ik) mention of toxic friend (if your name is Melanie im sorry), light fingering, fluff, I think that's it.

AU// Stripper!Bucky x Innocent!f!Reader

NOTE// Part two to Birthday to Remember

MASTERLIST

moodboard by @bucksdolll

You didn't tell anyone about what happened between you and Bucky a couple days before on your birthday. Wanting to keep it a secret for yourself.

You left the number that was scribbled on a ripped off corner of paper in your nightstand and would glance at the fading bite mark on your inner thigh.

The only reminders that it actually happened.

You had picked the paper up and stared at it a couple times, wondering if you really should call it- if Bucky would actually answer or even remember you.

You wanted to; you wanted the kind of attention Bucky gave you that night. Like you were the most beautiful and precious thing he'd ever touched, and the patience he had that made you crave more of it.

After two days of thinking it over, you took the paper from the drawer and dialed the number.

"Yeah."

"Um, is this Bucky?" You said cautiously, though the pounding music in the background and familiar husky tone told you it was.

"It is- how are you, bunny?"

Your stomach flipped at the pet name and though you couldn't see him, you could basically hear his charming smile. "Well, kinda surprised you remembered me, actually." You said honestly, tugging a loose thread on the arm of your couch.

"How could I forget those pretty sounds? Listen, I'm about to get off of my break, but- how about you come over to my apartment tonight and I'll buy you dinner? Pick up where we left off?"

Excitement bubbled in your chest, a smile cracking across your face. "Yeah. That'd be nice."

"Great, I'm off at midnight, I'll text you my address. Gotta go, angel."

The line clicked and you moved the phone away from your ear, looking at the clock that read '10:27pm' in bright red numbers.

Standing from the couch, you walked to your closet, dialing your friend Melanie's number for advice.

"Hey, you need something?" She chirped when she picked up.

"Uh- what do you wear to a date that is just dinner?" You sighed, knowing what was coming next.

"A date? With who?"

You debated actually telling her, wetting your lips and letting your hand rest on the doorknob to your closet. "With- with Bucky."

"The guy from the club? You've got to be kidding- he's a stripper and you've probably never seen a man naked in person."

She was wrong, the image of Bucky's sturdy body in your bed was burned into your brain and wasn't going to leave any time soon. "You could say that, I guess." You sighed and shook your head. "Just- forget I asked."

Before she could protest you hung up, your phone buzzing with another notification. A text from Bucky that told you his address.

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Talk over dinner at a small diner not far from Bucky's apartment was pleasant. Learning more about each other- from what made both of you choose your jobs, to favorite colors and foods.

You couldn't help but to admire the man sat across from you. The way his face lit up with a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes when he'd tell you a fond memory, how the tip of his tongue swiped his bottom lip before he'd talk, and the stretch of the t-shirt across his chest as he rested his silvery left arm across the back of the booth seat.

You wanted to believe this was going to turn into something that happened more often, but something about the situation made you think it wouldn't. No matter how patient Bucky was, you felt like it was going to end the same way the stories you'd heard from friends ended.

Getting what he really wanted and then disappearing.

"Could come back with me and... talk some more, maybe watch a movie." Bucky's hopeful eyes flicked up from your lips to meet your eyes, a nod and a smile making his heart swell. "Of course."

Another wide smile cracked across his face as he got his wallet out, stopping you from doing the same as he sat money on top of the receipt.

"I said I was buying you dinner, I meant it." He winked as you both stood, warm hand slipping across the small of your back and to your hip to pull you into his side, where he kept you tucked the entire walk to his apartment.

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Bucky waited until the movie was halfway through before he leaned to nudge your jaw with his nose to get your attention.

You hummed in response, turning your head to look at him. "Gonna let me take you out more?" He grinned, cool metal hand caressing the inside of your thigh. "What?" You said softly, not fully realizing his question. "Ya know, at least once a week, let me take you out- or stay in. Whichever." He shrugged, nerves kicking in when you didn't answer right away.

Letting your eyes scan his sharp features, you thought about it for a second. "Will you let me pay sometimes?" He narrowed his eyes at your question, letting his hand travel higher up your thigh and under your skirt. "Hm, I don't know."

Bucky swallowed the short gasp that left you when his fingertips brushed over your clothed heat, molding his lips against yours. Eliciting soft moans from you by tracing a line up and down your folds, slipping his tongue pass your lips when they parted.

You weren't sure how, but his lips seemed softer than you'd remembered as they moved with yours. His thumb rubbing tight circles to your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear.

"Let's go to the room." Your breath caught in your throat at the words mumbled against your lips. Bucky pecking a kiss to the tip of your nose as he stood, taking your hand in his to tug you along with him to the door on the other side of the room.

He didn't shut the door back, his hands holding your waist and a playful smile on his face as he sat on the edge of the bed. Pulling you so you were straddling his thick thighs, your hands landing on solid shoulders.

"Buck..." he shook his head, hands gliding up your outer thighs and under your skirt to grip your backside. "As far as you want, bunny." He assured, tilting his head to place wet kisses to the column of your neck. "Warm up to it, give you time to change your mind."

Your heart started to pound as his fingers found the zipper to your skirt, his teeth grazing the skin of your jaw as he pulled it down. Lifting you slightly to move you on your back and lock his lips back to yours as your fingers tangled in his hair.

Tilting his head to deepen the kiss, Bucky worked at the buttons of your blouse, moaning softly when you pressed your tongue to his.

Bucky stayed cautious in helping to remove the layers of clothes that kept skin from touching, being ready to stop whenever he saw the first sign of you being uncomfortable.

But, this time your hands were a little more eager than the last. Helping to slide your skirt and shirt off and pulling at the hem of his shirt until both bodies were bare to each other.

His erection laying heavy against the inside of your thigh, too lost in the breathtaking kiss to pay any attention to the ache that was between your legs or his as your fingers raked through his soft hair.

Bucky pulled away for a few seconds of air, your eyes trailing down his chest and stomach, stopping at the leaking tip, swollen and red, throbbing for some kind of contact.

He didn't say anything as your hand slipped down his stomach, his breath fanning your lips as you hesitated to wrap your fingers around his thick shaft- not wanting to hold too firm.

The softer skin of your hands compared to his own sent a shiver down Bucky's spine, letting you get a feel for the movement of your hand before moving his between your thighs; holding himself up on his metal forearm.

The quiet moan that left Bucky's parted lips from the steady pace of your hand had you biting your bottom lip gently. His long middle finger spreading your slick before easing into you, a soft whimper pulling from your throat.

Keeping things slow, Bucky stuck to what he knew you were comfortable with at first before pushing his finger deeper and curling it.

Only removing the digit after you'd had your first high to run two fingers along your folds, pressing them into you to elicit another whimper as he rutted his hips into your hand. Hot breaths and moans mixing together as lips brushed.

"Hold on," he panted, making your hand stop and nerves stand on end. "Did I do something?" You asked, Bucky shaking his head with a soft smile. "No, just gotta get something, bunny."

A brisk kiss to your lips and he sat up, reaching to the nightstand drawer for the foiled packaging.

Your heart hadn't stopped thundering away against your chest, the sight of Bucky tearing the wrapper open with his teeth causing butterflies to flutter in your stomach and you clenched around nothing.

He glanced at your face to see if you were going to stop him before rolling the condom on, making sure to pinch the tip as he guided it down.

Shifting around a little, you let your hands rest on the sides of his neck. Mechanical whirring sounding in your ear when Bucky bent his body back over yours and caught your lips in his.

"Ready?" He breathed, your fingers threading in the back of his hair and legs lifting higher on his waist. "Yeah."

Bucky hadn't been with someone that had no one else to mentally compare him to and it excited him even more. He wanted to be the one to turn you into a filthy dream and keep you to himself until you decided you didn't want him anymore.

But, he also wanted to be able to take you on dates like he had that night and show off the beauty he managed to be able to call his.

He paid extra attention to your breathing and body language, tracing a line from your clit to your entrance as your grip on his hair tightened. A soft groan leaving him as he kept himself from giving into the urge to snap his hips forward.

You had been silently telling yourself that you were ready, chewing on your tongue as Bucky's swollen head gently pressed against your heat.

Nerves getting the best of you when you shifted away slightly. "Wait-" you exhaled, kind, blue eyes lifting from looking at the spot between you to meet yours.

He lifted his hand up to craddle your cheek in his palm, eyebrows furrowing. "What's wrong? Wanna stop?" He asked softly, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone.

You nodded and he pressed a light kiss to your lips. "That's fine, baby. I can wait." He gave a small smile and sat up to remove the condom. "Sorry." You mumbled, sitting up also. He shook his head and stood from the bed. "Don't be,"

Your gaze lingered down to the way his cock bobbed with every movement, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth and looking back up to his face.

"Can I..." Your words trailed off, face warming as you shuffled to sit on the edge of the bed. "You wanna-" Bucky's mouth went dry at the thought of your lips around him, tongue jutting out across his bottom lip. "Yeah, of course."

He moved to stand closer, cock twitching in your hand as soon as you touched it and looked up at him through your eyelashes. "Go slow, don't take more than you can handle."

His hair shielded part of his face when his head tipped forward a little, watching your lips wrap around the tip through hooded eyes.

You hadn't done it before, but the sounds he made as you tried going further showed that you were doing something right. The jewelry that pierced through the bottom of his shaft sliding against your tongue.

Bucky moved his hand to hold your jaw, grunting softly at the light gag and tears pooling in your eyes. "Breathe through your nose, bunny. Makes it easier." He rasped, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

It didn't take long before the warmth of your mouth and sight of your lips stretched around him, caused the swirling in his abdomen to start. The vein that ran along the underside throbbing harder against your tongue and lip as he let moans and pants fall freely, guiding your head a little faster along him.

"Tongue out, sweetheart." He panted, letting you pull away and replacing your hand with his to fist over himself. His pulsing tip resting against your tongue as you placed your hands on his hipbones, his chest flush and heaving.

A stream of huffed out curses flew pass Bucky's lips as his thick release shot into the roof of your mouth, making you jump slightly from how sudden it happened.

A long satisfied sigh as he watched you swallow his spend and he leaned down to catch your lips in his, urging you to lay back again. "Wanna hear those sweet sounds again."

Bucky left a trail of warm, wet kisses down your chest and abdomen before staying between your thighs for what felt like hours.

Pulling you apart with his skillful mouth and putting you back together with tender kisses to the irritated skin of your thighs his stubble caused, until you were writhing and crying out his name as your fingers tugged his dark locks. Stopping when you started to wiggle away from him.

"Good, angel?" He hummed, another light kiss to your lips as your eyes stayed close. Body feeling like it was on fire and sensitive to any touch. "C'mon, open them pretty eyes, sweetheart." He mumbled, peppering kisses to your face until you blinked your eyes open. Being met by hooded denim blues and a lazy smile.

Bucky's lips and stubble shiny with your slick. "Hi," You breathed, body starting to calm down, Bucky chuckling softly at your blissed out state. "Let's go to bed." He said, brushing his lips to yours.

Moving under the covers, he pulled you into his side and grabbed his cigarettes and remote from the nightstand before turning the TV on.

After settling further into the bed and lighting his cigarette, Bucky sighed when he heard a phone vibrating. Pecking a kiss to your forehead as he slipped back out of the bed and over to his jeans.

The phone that was ringing was yours that you'd given to him to hold earlier. "It's- Mel." He rolled his eyes at the familiar face in the photo on the screen.

"Just ignore it. What's with the eye roll?" You laughed, holding the blanket to your chest as you sat up. "Well, she's not very nice to put it kindly."

"I know." You sighed, looking at the dark grey blanket. "God, she's calling again. Didn't you tell her?" He grumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, but she didn't believe me." You shrugged, a mischievous grin spreading across Bucky's face. "See if she believes you, now."

Your eyes went wide as he clicked the green button. "Buck, wait-" You said with a light laugh, reaching for his metal wrist as he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

You could hear your friend's startled voice through the speaker that was against Bucky's ear. "Oh, yeah, she's here- nope, she's busy- gotta go now, bye." Hanging up the phone, he sat it on the nightstand. Putting his cigarette out in the ashtray before getting back into the bed next to you.

"Should we get dressed?" You asked softly, laying your arm over his tone stomach and tilting your head up to look at him.

"Absolutely not."

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suesylvesterf · 3 years

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What was going to an all girls school like, if you don't mind me asking? :)

OK anon im so sorry this is so long and so convuluted I actually got so carried away jdbKJBGKSDBGH. i'm not even sure i properly answered your question i just got overwhelmed with Love for my same-sex schooling DHGKJSDFBHG anyway, if there's anything more you want to know lmk and I will try to be concise next time 💀

Essentially, my own experience at a single-sex secondary school was fantastic—however, I know my experience isn’t universal, especially since my school was a little bit different to most, I think.

That being said, I still think that sending your daughters to female-only secondary schools is something every parent should strive to do if they can. No other learning environment will ever be as good for girls as a same-sex school.

In terms of school staff, mine was about 95% female, and 5% male. The few male teachers we had were genuinely competent men and decent teachers, they were also watched like hawks. Our principal was female, all leadership positions in the school (such as House Leaders, Year Level Co-Ordinators, Department Heads, even the chaplain) were held by women. Our school psychologists, our nurses, our library technicians, our café ladies, our career advisors, our tutors—all were women. Our school houses (think like Harry Potter houses) were named after important women in our country’s history.

I went to a co-ed primary school. And whilst at twelve you might not have the words to describe it, graduating from a co-ed space, into an all-female space is really a giant weight off of your shoulders. You don’t realise how suffocating co-education is until you’re no longer having to bear it. It feels so much more natural, so much more free! You are welcomed as you are. You can be loud and unashamed of it. We joked frequently with each other and our teachers, laughed loudly and cared not whether our laughs were ‘ugly’. I found that teachers were far more supportive than they were in my co-ed school. For example, in a co-ed school I had been told frequently to ‘pipe down’ or to ‘reel it in’ from teachers, and more vexingly to ‘shut up’ from boys due to my boisterous personality. In high school? My teachers encouraged me to audition for the play because I had ‘great projection’. In every school programme (more on those later) that I was involved in, I was the one asked to give speeches about them at assembly. I was asked to be the lead of our house chants during our sports festivals. I was asked to join the debate team because of my passionate nature, which in primary school, had me known as ‘difficult’.

Likewise, I had a friend who was by nature quiet, and loved to draw. In primary school she’d doodled on the back of a work booklet, and when her teacher returned it, she’d taken off two points and had written a comment saying something about teachers in high school not accepting work that was drawn on.

Do you know what happened when she got to high school? Our English teacher had seen the eye she’d drawn on the back of our Romeo and Juliet test and had written, ‘beautiful!’ above it. The next test, she drew a two-headed cat with witches’ hats on both heads (I remember the left head was called Turpentine and the right head was called Esmeralda). Our teacher wrote, ‘wonderful!’ above it, with a smiley face.

The next day she got an email from our art teacher that had a PDF flyer of information on both in-school and local art competitions.

Anyway, she had questions and that teacher answered every single one of them. She also personally helped her select the works she wanted to submit. She ended up having two pieces shown in the school gallery, along forty pieces made by other girls. About five years later for our final year, on that art teacher’s recommendation (and tutelage!) she took all of the visual art subjects on offer. When she graduated, her final piece was shown at a public exhibition in our state’s capital city, that honoured the best pieces done by select graduating students in the state.

So yeah. Our teachers were pretty amazing. Of course, there was the odd teacher or two you would butt heads with but that’s just a universal school experience. Our humanities classes, like history, for example, often had a unit that would focus on the female experience of a certain time period. For example, when learning about WW2, we did projects on female resistance fighters et cetera.

We had health classes that were actually focused on female health. We learnt about female anatomy (even the clitoris! Though we were all about thirteen/fourteen at this time so we found it incredibly awkward to talk about), as well as symptoms of PCOS during our menstrual unit. We learnt about contraceptive methods and devices (however, as a Catholic school they did have to tell us that whilst these methods are available, the church-sanctioned method is of course, abstinence).

Whilst the majority of the girls shaved their legs and wore makeup, as someone who did neither of those things I rarely felt judgement about it (albeit, I think there was a little for my lack of makeup, but this only lasted the first two years). A good portion of our staff also did not wear makeup, I don’t recall this ever being commented on. And, by the time we’d reached about our third year, a good portion of my year level and the ones above did not wear makeup on a daily basis. Leg hair was not looked down upon by any of us I don’t think by this year either. In fact, if you were particularly hairy often your hairless friends asked to rub your legs!

We were never short of female role-models, our staff made sure of that. We had multiple days per year when guest speakers would come and talk to us, mostly these were women who were experts in their fields—whether that be neuroscience or computer science, linguistics and literature or mathematics, politics, et cetera. The only times we really had male guest speakers was when police officers (one male one female) came to give us an assembly about sexual peer-pressure and laws around sharing nudes that was basically, “these are common (male) manipulation tactics used to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, don’t fall for them”.

We were encouraged to take STEM subjects, and those of us that had taken interest in computer programming were sent to coding programmes in the city during school hours! That’s how keen our teachers were to get more women into the field! This was the same with the girls interested in politics, who got to go to Model UN events, as well as mock parliaments in the country’s capitol.

We had a lot of programmes generally. A few overseas ones for girls who were in LOTE (languages other than English) classes. A few interstate ones, too. And of course, local programmes and excursions. Most of them (aside from the LOTE ones which focused on immersion) were volunteer programmes aimed at helping women and girls. The rest were about furthering our own skills or learning new ones. Majority of these were year-level based, but a few depended on the clubs/groups/classes you were in. For example, I was part of the Writer’s Club, and we took an excursion to the state Writer’s Festival and listened to female writers as well as feminist panels. We also had self-defence programmes every year.

In terms of peers I generally found everyone to be quite amiable by the time we’d reached our third/fourth year. There’s a common myth about all girls schools being filled with ‘catty’ girls who are constantly bitching about one another, but I really did not find that to ring true. There were a few fights and arguments in the earlier years, I was part of quite a lot lol but that’s honestly… just something that happens at school, at any school. Largely, we were good to each other. If someone was crying there was always someone who’d ask her what was wrong. If you missed the notes on the slide, there was always a girl willing to share her notes with you.

I think going to an all-girl’s school, and not having that much interaction with the opposite sex generally for that six-year period truly does something, I think, to your psyche. We are socialised to look down on our fellow woman, socialised to look down upon ourselves. But actually being constantly surrounded by women, and almost ONLY women, really helps to undo that. Even now I could not describe the fierce love I have for all those women and girls I came in contact with during my time there—even the ones I bickered with. Each and every single woman I met there enriched my life in some way or another. I think that is the effect of consistently spending time in any female-only space: developing a true appreciation for women. It is the only reasonable conclusion to come to.

I have been out of high school for two years, and in university for one. Among the many men I have met since, none of them have even been able to hold a candle to the any women and girls I know.

Anyway. TLDR: it slapped, send your daughters to same-sex schools!!

#this is so long sorry #long post #radfem safe #separatism #radfem

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