#i promise to grow and change from this mistake etc. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misctf · 4 months

Text

Selection Day

“Mr. Wagner, this is an impressive application.” The man mused, “Graduated college last year with a 4.0 GPA in biology. I see you completed prep courses to become a physician.”

James Wagner nodded, “That would be ideal.”

His father promised he’d have nothing to worry about on Selection Day, which occurred during the month of one’s 23rd birthday. Judges reviewed your file: extracurriculars, criminal record, education, etc., to determine the perfect career for you- and give you all the tools to succeed.

“I see here your father is Senator Wagner and your mother is Dr. Wagner, both distinguished in their fields. Quite a tough election year though.”

“Dad isn’t too worried though. His campaign manager says he has a plan.” James leaned back in his chair, “Already planning the victory party.”

“You should celebrate too. I think you’ll be perf...” The judge’s phone rang, cutting him off, “Excuse me Mr. Wagner, I have to take this.”

The judge left James to himself. The young man sighed in relief, despite some growing anticipation. When his brother went through the process, they didn’t change too much. They enhanced his attractive features and gave him a greater sense of ambition- all fitting for his career in finance. But he was still his brother. James hoped for something similar. He knew his application would let him select from “tier A models” so he was feeling good. And afterwards, he and his dad would go golfing and get dinner down at the country club to celebrate.

“Mr. Wagner, come with me” The judge said as he returned to the room.

James nodded, “Uh by the way, I was hoping to go with a Tier A physician model...”

“No worries James, just follow me please.”

James followed closely entering a room filled with various pods. A knot formed in his stomach. This is where it would happen. He gulped and watched as the judge walked towards a pod and pressed some buttons. This was it. Calmly, James undid his button shirt, revealing his lean and tanned body. Years of track and caddying on the golf course gave him a nice tan and lean physique. As he finished undressing, his attention shifted to the pod as it whirred to life and opened.

“Here it goes.” He whispered.

The young man stepped into the pod and watched the door shut. A small window allowed him to see the outside world and he nodded at the judge, who frowned in return. And then it started. The mechanical hands that lay dormant suddenly came to life, scanning James’s body.

“Applicant: James Wagner.” A soothing mechanical voice stated, before rattling off demographics that James simply tuned out, “Model: Gym Staff, Front Desk, Tier D.”

“Wait what?” James called out, “Hey! I think somethings wrong.” He tried to convey, “That’s not...”

He barely had a moment to speak as a metallic substance wrapped around his legs. He cried out as it burned his skin. And slowly, his legs began to expand, filling with raw muscle. His slender calves popped with muscle, while his 10.5 inch feet expanded to size 13. He held back tears as his thighs expanded with firm muscle. And then, his lower extremities were freed.

“Holy fuck!” He shouted, as he wriggled his new toes, “Please, I think there’s been some kind of mistake!” The judge wasn’t paying attention anymore, just talking to someone on the phone.

Before he could continue, a saddle emerged from underneath him and wrapped around his ass and cock. A gentle warmth encompassed them, causing James to shudder. But as he focused on the sensation, more of the substance covered his chest and torso. Similar to his legs, he felt an intense warming sensation. And as the warmth intensified, he felt himself growing. He watched as a strong core and bounceable pecs formed from his once lean physique and groaned as his torso stretched, adding height. But it wasn’t just height. He was becoming wider as his back expanded with muscle. When the mold finally released him, he was left with a physique he could only dream of obtaining naturally. But this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to be a hulking beast of a man.

“You need to...” James started to cough as a green haze entered the pod, “What... fuck... bro please...” He kept coughing, barely noticing his use of the word “bro” and his deepening voice, “Dude, this ain’t cool!”

He watched as his arms were encased. Biceps and triceps exploded from his lean arms, while his forearms grew with muscle. When his arms were released, he could gawk at them in awe.

“Dude, check it out, my guns are lookin' massive!” James’s eyes widened, “Dude, why do I sound all weird? Not stoked about it, man!” Try as he might, he couldn’t control the new bro lingo that left his mouth.

And before he could say another word, a mask wrapped around his face and neck. He cried as his face was remodeled. Simultaneously, personal details were added to his physique. Tattoos of some meaning to James were carved into his body. Meanwhile, he was sprayed with a different solution that caused hair to sprout from his abdomen and chest, eventually thickening and forming a dense treasure trail. His arms and legs were not spared, nor were his ass or dick. And with a mechanical screech, the mask finally left his face. His new eyes were dark, topped by thick dark eyebrows. His light brown hair replaced with darker brown. His clean shaven face now adorned with stubble. And his angular face just a bit rounder, with a pair of thick lips. The young man felt his new face and rubbed a hand across his hairy pecs.

“Seriously, dude? No way!” He grumbled, ““Dude, I'm not a bro, change me back, seriously!” James felt tears well up in his eyes. This wasn’t him, he didn’t sound like this. He still had his intelligence, but no one would take him seriously.

But his thoughts were interrupted as the his privates were freed. James’s eyes widened. His dick was never that big, nor did he have foreskin before. He watched in awe as it started expanding and he wrapped his hand around it.

“Whoa, bro, check out the size of that thing!” He started pumping his new cock, “Bro, this is epic! It feels so damn good!” A new mist filled the pod as he continued to jerk off, causing James to scrunch his nose, “Dude, it totally reeks in here, like a locker room or something.” From this point on, that smell would stick to him. He’d always smell like a dirty locker room.

However this did little to deter him as he jerked off. And as he did so, he felt a quick jab in his arm as the contents of a syringe were dumped into him.

“Dude, my head's all fuzzy right now, it's weird.” He moaned as his IQ plummeted and new knowledge filled his brain, “Heh, check this out, dude.” He moaned as he bounced his pecs, “Dude, wait, my brain's acting up. I'm, like, still smart, yeah?” James tried to remember facts that he once memorized but found nothing. His golf skills replaced by workout routines, his adherence to social norms evaporating, and his desire to present himself well replaced with a need to wear tank tops and gym shorts, “Whatever, bro, it doesn't matter. I've got this, and that's what counts.” He winked at his dick and continued to jerk himself off, moving his hand faster and faster, “Fuck yeah, dude!” He moaned as he came, covering himself in cum and falling to the ground. And there he sat, totally spent until the door to the pod opened.

“Hey James,” James looked up and grinned.

"Yo, what's up, campaign manager bro?"

The older man smiled and turned to the judge, “Very good job, James here is perfect. No one will think Selection Day is rigged if even Senator Wagner’s son isn’t safe.”

“Nah, bro, it's Jim, not James.” Jim chuckled, “Like ‘gym’, get it bro?”

“Here Jim, get cleaned up.” The judge said, throwing the man a towel.

After wiping the cum from his hairy abdomen and chest, he got dressed in a tank top and gym shorts. And as he walked through the building, he barely cared at the glances of disgust and the people holding their noses. Nor did he care for the judgmental stares as he scratched his balls and pits, completely oblivious to social norms. When he finally got outside, he smiled when he saw his father’s limo. He quickly walked over and jumped in with a grin.

“Who are you?” His father asked, scrunching his nose.

Jim grinned and pulled his dad in for a hug, “Yo, dad, it's me, Jim. What's good?"

Several months had passed since then and much changed for Jim. His father quickly disowned him, believing that James hadn’t been honest with the family if this was the outcome of Selection Day. Besides, appealing outcomes was a lengthy process and for Jim’s dad, there could be great political repercussions given his support for the process. So Jim would remain. His life on the golf course and dining in the country club just a memory.

But Jim didn’t mind as he entered his small studio apartment and tossed his gym bag to the ground. He walked over to the dirty mattress in the middle of his room and plopped down, scratching his pits and flipping through his phone.

“Bro, check it out! Dad crushed the election, fuck yeah!” He cheered with a grin. His grin only widened as he read the text from the cute blond guy from the gym.

Even if he couldn’t celebrate with his family that night, Jim was going to celebrate. And as he texted the guy his address, he could feel the monster in his pants start to grow.

#male tf #male transformation #mental change #personality tf #jock tf

803 notes · View notes

no-oneelsebutnsu · 1 year

Text

Take it off before, I tear it

I'm still new to this, so again take it easy on me

warnings: Smut, light degradation,dacryphillia, edging, spanking, and ofc vibrainium strap

word count : 0.9k+

Once again not proofread, never is

Shuri was in the lab again, she had been for basically the entire day. She had left you high and dry in the morning, getting up to leave when you were mid-orgasm, saying she had work to do. You decided to get payback, constantly sending her photos of you in lingerie, audios of you moaning out her name etc.

She wouldn't reply, simply leaving you on read, but you knew that her leaving you on read just meant that when she finished up in the lab she was going to get you back good. It was around 11pm when you received a message from Shuri saying 'Be ready for me, I'll be there in 15'. Being the brat you are, you simply stay right where you were, not bothering to change.

The door creaked slightly, as your girlfriend made her way into your shared bedroom. She stared at you from the door, you could hardly maintain eye contact with her, "So once again, you wanna act like a brat and disobey me." she says breaking the silence. She slowly makes her way towards you.

When she does, she simply sits down next to you and grabs your face, "Take it off, everything." she commanded you. Whilst you simply stared up at her, masking your intentions with innocent eyes. "Don't play dumb y/n", she said sternly,"You heard me, take.it.off". You smirked up at her, "You should take it off for me." You replied, your smile growing wider as she clicked her tongue at you, in response to your statement she gripped your jaw tightly.

"Y/n, I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself before I'm anymore upset with you..." she said in a warning tone,"take it off before I tear it" maintaining her grip on your jaw she moved your head up and down, as if to say 'yes'. "You're gonna listen to me, right?" she asked you, as if you had a choice.

She let go of your jaw, looking at you like you were going to be her last meal. You scramble to your feet not wanting to upset her further, you begin removing your clothes, first your top, then your shorts, slowly unclipping your bra, you slid it down your arms, Shuri was eyeing you the entire time, her eyes never once leaving your body.

Finally sliding down your final piece of clothing, you were completely bare in front of her. "Bend over" she instructed you, breaking the silence again. "But Shuri I-" she moved quickly and grabbed your arm, pulling you over her lap in a split second.

"I find it funny how you still haven't learnt your lesson." You feel her slowly rub your ass, you relax into her touch, that was your biggest mistake, her demeanor changed within a second, her hand came down on your ass with a sharp slap.

You let out a yelp, squirming a bit as it stung, "Count, out loud, that was one, we will do 15, you know the rules." She lifted her hand again, the palm coming down with a crack, silence afterwards to soon be interrupted by your whines, cries and counting.

Tears were flowing down your face, by the time you had reached 9, "Shuri- I'm sorry-" you choked out, "You're crying, but down here you're absolutely soaking, I know you're enjoying this more than you say." another slap hits your ass, you cry the number out.

After what feels like eternity you finally reach 15, " Shuri, please, I'm sorry, please I promise I'll be good from now on, just please!", she scoffs at you, before picking you up and placing you on the bed. "This isn't even a that bad off a punishment and you're whining like this."

You were so occupied in begging her to stop and go easy on you, that you didn't realize she had something new in her hands until she slipped something cold between your folds, you jerked as it entered you, before she turned it on, it started vibrating. Almost on cue moans and whines began to pore out of you.

The coil in your stomach was about to snap, your thighs twitching, hips slightly bucking, all before she turned the vibrator off right before you can cum, in response you let out a loud whine. Before you can complain she turns it on again and instead of words coming out of your mouth whines and whimpers are the only thing that escape.

This continued until you couldn't think straight nor speak coherently, your girlfriend's name being the only word in your vocabulary at the moment. You could hardly see, vision blurry, still recovering from the aftershocks of yet another denied orgasm.

You here rustling around the room, before being flipped over onto your stomach and having you ass pulled up. Feeling her strap press against you entrance, she leans down to kiss your neck, leaving a few marks on the way, to calm you down, she bites you ear softly before whispering, "Come on baby, you can do this for me.", you just whimper, as she slowly pushes the strap fully into you before rutting into you at a rough pace.

Giving you no time to adjust, using your juices to slip in and out faster. "Fuck babyyy, you're sucking me in so fucking good." She continued slamming into you, until your pussy clenched around her tighter.

"I know you're close baby, cum with me." You happily obliged as your body began jerking, twitching around her cock before coating it in your juices when your body convulses, finally cumming. Her own orgasm following suit to yours.

You both lay there for a moment before she pulled out of you, getting up and going to the bathroom. You heard water running before she comes back, scooping you into her arms, leaning her forehead into yours before giving you a kiss. "You did so well my love."

A/N : Someone tell me why, I come home today and I have the worst headache I've had in years, I can't fall asleep and I'm nauseous, ya'll know I couldn't delay this any further so now I'm gonna go pass out.

#shuri imagine #shuri x reader #shuri prompt #princess shuri #shuri udaku #shuri smut #shuri fanfiction #shuri x f!reader

846 notes · View notes

viviartsy · 3 months

Text

Gassed Up: Ignition.

Prologue.

Chapter 1 is here.

Warnings: I believe none, for now. But for future reference, violence, foul language, drugs, alcohol, etc. So just proceed with caution.

Words: 1495.

Notes: If you see any mistakes, please tell me. English is not my first language. Also I'm basing this off purely on what we knew about Dubz until a few days ago. I'll watch Gassed Up as soon as I can, but the character will not change. This is the perception I have of him and it's very likely to be ooc. Every other character is completely made up and so is the story. I have also never done this before, so if you have any recommendations or anything you want to add, feel free to do so.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t that late. The streets were properly lit, there was the buzzing of people and cars going around her. Yet she felt so bad. So sad, so lonely, so out of place, so very homesick.

She wasn’t used to that feeling. Never would have she thought that leaving her little city back home to go live her dream would have her feeling this empty. She had no reason to. She was in London, of all places. She was also lucky enough to have a home there, family, people who already loved and cared for her very much.

It had been her dream, to grow up, finish her studies and move to London to find the job she always wanted. She had always known she couldn’t stay back. If she did, she would have been trapped there forever. She’d have to find a remote work, at best. Or worse, become a high-school teacher like her father wanted!

Yet she had persevered. She finished her studies just in time and with good grades. Her Bachelor’s Thesis granted her a scholarship so she could do her Masters in Arts without much financial support from her father. And, finally, without barely any convincing, her grandfather’s brother took her in his home. He and his wife had always cared for her and her sister, and they had promised her that if she ever wanted it, she would find a place to stay with them.

They had all been so proud she chose to attend university. Even for a measly Fine Arts degree, when so many people around her constantly diminished her work and dismissed her choices.

She had promised herself as a child that she would be great. The she would make herself proud. Proud of her work, of all her achievements. Even when the odds had been so against her she thought she’d barely make it out alive, she swore if she made it, she’d be great.

Yet nowadays she found herself awake at night, thinking about home. So much fighting in her earlier years had paid off when she left. Leaving behind the most wonderful people who supported her, who always dreamed big, so they made her feel like she could strive for more.

If she was being completely honest, it wasn’t that bad. The people attending the same classes as her were nice, she had made friends in her time there. Sure, they weren’t like the lifelong friendships she had made throughout her life back home, but they had only had so much time to get to know each other. She’d been there for only three months, so asking for more was a bit dramatic.

She had always had a knack for drama. “Artists” Her father would say, “always so sensitive”. Not that she could deny it.

A gust of wind made her shiver. It somehow wasn’t getting any warmer. Back home they had already put away the winter clothes. Yet there she was, pitch black at five o’ clock. Scarf and gloves on, freezing like a popsicle. That was the one thing she’d never get used to, no matter the time: cold.

“Don’t go out,” Her aunt had warned her. “it’ll be dark before you can even think of coming back. And then, you’ll see, you’d be wishing you didn’t go out”.

Oh, how right she was. As soon as she got off the bus, she wished she hadn’t agreed to go out for a study date at a café with her friends. Now that she was walking back home, three hours later, she felt utterly miserable.

And the worst part of the night was yet to come.

Noa couldn’t have been able to put into words what happened. One moment she was walking home with her head down because the wind was drying out her contacts. Next thing she knew two young men had cornered her against the wall of a house and were talking gibberish she couldn’t make out.

Turns out no matter how much one studies a language, even when you think you know everything, it takes some brainpower to make out stuff when you’re anxious, tired, scared… or really anything but thinking straight.

At first, she didn’t know if they were talking to her. They must have been, seeing the position they had her in. The two were young, like, really young. For all she knew, they must have been nineteen at most. She could hear them talking, but understood barely nothing.

Time didn’t stop, her senses didn’t heighten magically, and if adrenaline was pumping in her system, it must have been why she felt she had to run away from them. She couldn’t make out the situation, she felt more like a caged animal than a human in danger.

Because she was in danger, wasn’t she? She was not being insane. She couldn’t be.

“Alright, not much of a chatter, are we?” One of the boys said after a momenr, looking quickly behind him as his friend smirked.

She hadn’t heard the screech of tires against the pavement. Or how the front one hit the sidewalk and almost went over it. She only saw how the two kids’ expression changed from amusement and smugness to the kind of faces children make when they know they’re in trouble.

“Maybe the problem’s your breath stinks, champ. Ever heard of flushing?”

Somehow, adding another man’s voice to the situation didn’t make it any better. If anything, her hands were shaking and she wanted to cry so bad her eyes were burning.

“Leave her alone, kid. If you keep aiming that high, you’re gonna piss all over yourself”.

The man had taken off his helmet and was now leaning on the motorcycle, a black figure she couldn’t make out. Really, she should change her contacts. Her eyes were on fire.

“Yo, Dubz c’mon” The taller boy complained. And he really did sound like a kid right then and there. A kid being told off for being too rowdy. “We didn’t do nothing to her”.

Dubz shook his head, smiling a big amused smile.

“Seeing your faces was enough a scare for the night, bruv. Leave the lady alone”. He saw how the two kids were about to complain again, but he raised his brows, and they shut their mouths. “Get lost”.

And sure, get lost they did. They both huffed and left in the direction of a nearby park. Complaining through their teeth, but so very obedient.

“Kids” Noa heard him say. “They love to do the most”.

When she looked at him, she did so blankly. After few second, she blinked, which kind of calmed him a bit. It was unnerving, seeing her like a deer in headlights without so much as blinking once. She had tears in her eyes, but who wouldn’t? Her eyes must’ve been begging her for a break.

When her sight got clearer, she saw he was smiling a cheeky smile he sported oh-so-naturally. It made her feel like what just happened was child’s play. As if she hadn’t feared for her life, cornered in the middle of the street at night by two fully grown boys.

Unable to bring herself to answer, she took her hands from her pockets and started to run in the opposite direction of traffic. Maybe he didn’t catch up to her, but fear soon did, and before she could think she was running. Like her uncoordinated, shaky legs could lead her to safety before a bike caught up to her.

By the time she got home, she was exhausted. Never in her life had she run like that. She had experience with men being, well, men. But she had yet to feel as unsafe as she did just minutes ago.

Without much ceremony, she took off her coat, shoes and jeans, and jumped into bed a crying mess. So overwhelmed she quickly fell asleep, agitated and wishing she could be home, even if just for that one night.

Dubz was left dumbfounded. He looked at her run off, guessing following her would just upset her further.

Sure, the boys did kind of suck at flirting, and they had no sense of timing for it, but he wasn’t sure it was that big of an issue. Clearly, it was for her. He shrugged it off.

Just when he was about to leave, the engine already turned on, he saw something shining under his headlights. Bending down, and with difficulty due to sheer stubbornness- as he didn’t want to get off his bike-, he managed to get a hold of the item. It was some keys with a bunch of trinkets and charms attached to a heart-shaped key-chain. He couldn’t contain the laugh once he realised the poor thing had dropped her keys, which she must have been holding onto, when she ran away.

“Feisty” He simply commented as he put them in his pocket. Finally deciding to go back. They were waiting for him.

Illustrations.

First one is just a sketch, I'll try to update it as soon as possible!

#dubz #gassed up #taz skylar #taz skylar x reader #taz skylar fic #dubz x oc #oc

22 notes · View notes

daisys-reality · 2 years

Text

ᴠᴏɪᴅ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇ

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐝?

This reading kind of turned into motivational talk lol. I hope it helps you somehow!😅 [I'm sorry I didn't proof read it, please excuse any dumb mistakes</3] If you liked this, feel free to message me other PAC ideas!

what is the void state? It's a state of pure consciousness. It's usually reached through meditation. The void is within you, hence you are the void. You can manifest anything through the void state. - click here for more information

how to choose a picture: try to calm down, take deep breaths & use your intuition to select. Take you time and chose the picture you feel the most drawn to. (You can choose more than one picture.)

༣P𝔦𝔩𝔢 1

𓆸 What kind of person are you?

(you might have many earth and fire placements in your chart, I also got strong jupiter and mercury energy)

hello my pile 1 people <3 You guys are surely very earthy but inside you there is fiery passion. You are stable and secure or at least that’s what you’re working towards. You are independant and quite resourceful. You value material things and it’s also something you need to feel emotionally better. You like to be generous to other people and provide for others. But for that you need to be in a stable position, right? Also, I’m sure you dislike sudden or unexpected things - it might trigger you in some way. You are maybe the type who takes a bit longer to finish certain things because you wanna make sure that everythings is done correctly and ‘perfectly’. And ofc it’s ok to not hurry yourself especially on this manifestation journey but don't let your need for control get too you head. I feel like your surroundings might be a little chaotic, so try to create your own calm place in the center of this chaotic energy. It also seems like you are a fair and just person who likes to protect others and yourself. Your energy is very expanding and I also think you’ve been quite lucky in your life even though you might not see it that way. Often, you want to understand the bigger picture of life and that’s also why you might be into spirituality and have great faith. Other people might not notice it that well but I think you have a racing mind. Also, you surely are quite intelligent. You might have a great desire to share your ideas and to communicate with others as well as educating yourself on all kinds of topics and collecting knowledge in general. From the outside, you might always seem calm and content but with sparkling eyes. You can endure anything. You know how to nourish yourself (even though this might stem from being neglected as a child). I think when you are not feeling good, you might neglect yourself a bit - like not drinking enough water/being dehydrated etc - and you might just lack vitality to do anything. Going on a small trip, just walking around nature or just having a change of scenery might help you in those times to get your energy back.

𓆸 So, what is stopping you? What is the problem?

As I mentioned before, you seem a bit like an overthinker and perfectionist.You may feel as though you’re restricted by the circumstances you find yourself in, but that’s just an illusion. Make a promise to yourself to refuse to be stuck in a situation that’s making you unhappy. Don’t wait for someone to come to the rescue when you can free yourself! The difficult times you went through helped you to transform and to get you mentally to the ‘place’ you are now. Surely, you've been hurt and betrayed in the past and even though you just wanna escape all of it as fast as possible you gotta realize that you or rather your higher self/consciousness chosed all these situations to help you grow and transform and for you to realize who you are and what you really need and want in your life. You’ve been prepared to make the decision for what kind of life you really want and what kind of person you really want to be. If you still have ‘childhood trauma’ (even if it seems small to you), you should think about where it stems from and how you can let go of it. Of course it won’t be easy but let me tell you YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH! Don’t let other people and their past deeds hold you back. You don’t need that! You are so powerful! Don’t overthink things. You tend to doubt your skills and power. Please don’t do that - You are a queen/king! All this overthinking, these doubts and the old patterns from your childhood hold you back. It makes your mind infertile! I want you to put yourself on top of everything, you are your own main priority. Please nourish yourself! A healthy mind and body will help you. You might have already heard that before but try to ignore the 3D if it’s as shitty as it feels! Don’t mind it! You should make yourself feel loved and proud - that is important! Trust yourself and in your power! Everything will work out perfectly! Just stay committed to what you want and what you definitely deserve !! You’re being called upon to claim your personal power! Feel confident about yourself and this journey! Your angels/guides/spirits (whatever you believe in) will give you strength to say no when it’s the right thing to do for yourself. On a side note, your struggle may actually stem from an unresolved inner conflict, rather than a conflict with others. So, try to resolve this. Work on your mindset - like tell yourself how much you value yourself with all your quirks etc. and that you deserve everything - guilt has no place here! Your past is over - you’ve learned from it - so it’s done. Close this chapter. Your new journey/life can begin now - so claim your power! As I said before, even if things take longer for you - I assure you you will totally master this!

-> check out my other pac readings

█►─═════════════════════════════─◄█

༣P𝔦𝔩𝔢 2

𓆸 What kind of person are you?

(you might have many water and air placements in your chart, I also got strong sagittarius and neptune energy)

hello my pile 2 people <3 You guys - let me tell you - are beautiful inside out !! You are the type who often undergoes great change and transformation. You seem very versatile. Even though ‘change’ might not be something you're extremely comfortable with, you seem extra patient and kind during those times - especially to yourself. Tho it’s totally fine to let solid friends and activities (you enjoy) support you during those times. On a side note, committing to one daily routine (a meal, practice, meditating, affirming) done at the same place and time will do wonders for lifting your spirit. You’re the type to become very ‘fragile’ and really frustrated (with yourself and your life) when you’re out of balance. Your energy seems so graceful and cheerful.You might like interacting with others and you’re charming, friendly, optimistic, talkative, persuasive and maybe also a bit impulsive. I think freedom and beauty might be important to you and your life. You also seem creative like an artist and you surely inspire other people (just by being you or with you creations). However, you might also easily get distracted by new things and get bored of the old ones. You seem quick to adapt to new situations and are quite innovative. I think you have a strong drive and you kinda want to stand out from the crowd. You might like the ‘going with the flow’ lifestyle. You are a perceiver and are always motivated to look around to discover your own individuality while finding your place in the world. You might often ask yourself ‘how can I be true to myself?’. I think you usually try to be honest with yourself and with the rest of the world. You are powerful in your own way. It’s important to slow down from time to time so that you can perceive the depth as well as the breadth of the situation. Also, I think you should be careful with ‘careless unkindness’. You are quite a complex person. You have a great imagination, compassion (and I also think psychic experiences). You might have issues with sacrifice and obligation. Also balancing between giving and resenting might be an issue for you. I do think you value yourself and do some kind of healing and energy cleansing. You are the type of person who is forgiving and who needs to connect, to understand and to be understood, who values intimacy and creative expression. You try to speak your truth with kindness and compassion and that makes you so sweet.

𓆸 So, what is stopping you? What is the problem?

Mhm.. I think there are some blocked emotions that create some problems here. I feel like you are ignoring what your intuition is trying to tell you. Deep down you know exactly what the problem is. There is something beautiful and useful in dark reflection and sorrowful emotions; but these emotions turn ugly when they rot and fester to become self-pity and martyrdom. I feel like you are a bit blind or oblivious to the gifts around at this time. Try to become more aware. Be brave and rise above the suction of self-pity; avoid wallowing in indulgent sorrow. I think you already have inflicted enough self-suffering on yourself. You are manifesting but at this time you’ve become a little stagnant. There is some inner resistance - you are blocking the peace and the fulfillment that you yearn for, and yet it seems like you feel like you must deny yourself. Please do not think like that! You know what the right decision is for you! And you deserve EVERYTHING you want ! YOu are eNouGH ! Do not miss your opportunity because you’re wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself. Open your arms and receive the gifts waiting for you!! Turn your face to the sun and let the shadows fall behind you. At this time, it’s better for you to not let everyone know what is going on in your head. Also, boundaries … it’s time to set them. Small areas of ugliness are blinding you to the greater beauty that is your rightful environment. I think social media especially seems to negatively affect you. Try to set some boundaries with social media or try to avoid using it for some time. Protecting yourself is very important because you seem easily influenced by the energy around you. Think about who you really should allow access to your space and energy and who you shouldn’t allow it. Avoid negative people who are draining, or who bring unwanted drama into your life. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Do not suffer because of some fools but also do not let your heart become hardened by others’ cruelty. Have compassion for their wounded souls - and yet set firm boundaries. Be soft but strong. Changes are necessary so that you can get back on track. While being on this journey, try to withdraw from this ‘world’. Follow your intuition and don’t think too long about what to do. In addition, I want you to know that releasing the past can seem like a challenge, but it can also be liberating. Your angels/guides (whatever you believe in) will help you let go so that you can fly higher than ever before. You need to actively allow this situation to lead you to a more joyful life. You can change your life by changing your thoughts as you already know! Sometimes you may feel as though your way is blocked but often that’s just an illusion. You could easily free yourself from the obstacles that you’re so focused on by choosing a different path. Turn your thoughts away from negativity, and instead envision more often the other possibilities or desired scenarios of your desired outcome etc. You need to actively choose your own freedom. Of course, your past shaped you into who you are at this time. But ask yourself about your past and how it influenced you and in which way. Now, is that what you really want to keep being? And if not, just release everything you don’t really need anymore. It will make you so much happier. Everyone has their own journey and they are all different and that’s ok. I know you’ll find your own way!

-> check out my other pac readings

█►─═════════════════════════════─◄█

༣P𝔦𝔩𝔢 3

𓆸 What kind of person are you?

(you might have virgo or pisces placements in your chart, I also got strong saturn/earth energy)

hello pile three :D You seem like the type who has lots of responsibilities going on. But you also demand respect. I think that’s important to you. You are protective especially of your close family/friends. You might also be quite humanitarian and might like helping people through teaching or advising them/sharing your knowledge and experiences. You are really reliable. You have a brave and almost fearless side to you. It might be hard for you when people close to you don’t share the same opinion or values as you - especially when it’s about something that is really important to you. It almost feels like betrayal lol. There is some kind of duality. You seem to have reckless/rebellious aims while still following traditional/conservative values. Which might sometimes even confuse yourself. You might have been the type who worked hard to make their parents proud, genuinely looked up to them and who wanted to follow their footsteps as a child. But over time you worked on finding yourself and building up your own identity. And you soon noticed that more and more clashes appeared in the way you and your parents approach life and it might have become really difficult for you to (emotionally) differentiate yourself from your family/parents.

You are also impulsive and prone to spontaneous actions. Because you don’t want a dull life. YOu easily get bored and it makes you feel hopeless sometimes so you often eagerly look for new stimulation in all parts of your life. When out of balance you might become judgmental and dominating. You should practice tolerance and more as well as letting go. You seem to be good at analyzing and focusing especially when everything seems chaotic around you - like you can just shut out all distractions. You might be quite detail-oriented at times. But it also leads you to pettiness and obsessiveness. You should avoid being overly critical. I feel like you grew up in a judgmental environment and you thought their critical/judgy behavior comes with being mature, so you developed that trait as well because you wanted to grow up fast. You always push yourself to set and achieve goals to create a secure life. You might have faced many challenges but you’ve also learned a lot of things because of them. I feel like you also have a creative and intuitive side to you which might have been a bit neglected in your childhood. You have a strong belief system and are usually very passionate about them (that’s why it feels like betrayal when other people disagree lol) You might actually be very aware of the ‘unseen’ and of other people’s emotions. This might be overwhelming at times. You should maybe employ simple energetic protection techniques and avoid destructive escapism !!

𓆸 So, what is stopping you? What is the problem?

Mhm it feels like there is an important decision that you’ve been putting off. I feel like you know which choice you should make, but you’re procrastinating so you don’t upset someone else ? You are avoiding something important. There seems to be still a lot of chaos in your head. You haven’t released the past yet. You are still too stuck on the old story. As I said before, you struggle with letting certain stuff go and I think the problem lies in your self-worth… like your ‘identity’ seems to be attached to your past. PLease work on that. You are You! Ofc the past shaped you but your inner self is still the same… it’s just oppressed by all these limiting belief systems of society and by those of your family. In order to free yourself you need to honor your (physical) self more! A loving relationship with yourself will help you stand on your own two feet. You are strong enough! You won’t lose yourself when releasing the past, you will just step into your power - into your true self! PLease don’t neglect your body! I feel like poor eating, excess of ‘toxic substances’ and dragging yourself through things you don’t really enjoy are a theme here - and that’s punishing yourself and not celebrating yourself !? Why are you abusing your own body? :( Don’t put anything in your body that is not worthy of your god/goddess status!! Quality over quantity is the key at this time - awaken to your sacred self. Meditating and listening to ‘god state’ subliminals might help you as well as lots of selfcare! Also, you should be selective about who you let into your space. Ask yourself what is and what isn’t worthy of yourself. You deserve being treated in an honorable and respectful way not just by others but by yourself too. Furthermore, you seem to overthink things too much. I got the message “Friction and resistance in the circuits of your brain have now confused you into thinking the pain and tension is in the world around you when, really, it’s all in your head.” That was a clear message lmao. Free yourself from other people's opinions and take this time to be quiet and to reflect.The only thing standing in your way is you. The light of a busy mind can be beautiful, but in order to reveal its best achievements, times of darkness and rest are essential. Let go of your worries and fears for a while and let the world/your reality balance itself around you.Your inside is infinite, and your physical form is the gateway. You are drawing close to the start of something new/ a rebirth. But in order for that to happen reflection and reevaluation is required !! Look back on your past, reevaluate it and move on to bigger and better things! It all depends on you, nothing stands in your way anymore. Great progress will now be possible. You may need to make rapid decisions due to the suddenness of activity. Be confident and trust the guidance you receive.The last card I got for you is the ‘successful completion - dreams coming true’ card.So don’t worry too much, you are really close<3

-> check out my other pac readings

█►─═════════════════════════════─◄█˚

༣P𝔦𝔩𝔢 4

𓆸 What kind of person are you?

(you might have leo/libra/cancer placements in your chart, I also got strong moon,venus and fire energy)

hello pile 4 <3 For you guys, I get the feeling that you are my visionary pile -slightly eccentric but very creative. You seem to be young at heart, well cultured and you seem to have an undying curiosity about life. You really are a delight for everyone around you and you seem to open their minds - like you inspire them and things just seem to make sense. You might like traveling and expanding your worldview while having a blast. You might also be the type to contribute to global health through environmental or volunteer work. You are usually very enthusiastic and I think quite fashion-forward. When in a bad mood, you might be very pouty and just feel super worn out. I think traveling or creating art might lift your mood in those times. Also, I think your mood changes quite often and randomly. And you might go through many changes and transformations, especially emotionally. You might be emotionally quite intelligent and your intuition seems to be strong as well. You might enjoy reminiscing about the past or dwelling in your imagination. Your energy is very fluid and adaptable. But you also have a passionate/fiery side to you. You have leadership qualities but I feel like you are often too shy to accept the spotlight. You have ambition and when you set something to your mind, you will make it happen. This dedication inspires some and intimidates others. I think people actually respect you alot. But not many really know you that much about you. You might give off aloof vibes and be hard to access … (funnily while writing down your pile my computer completely shut off randomly and I had internet problems and then shortly afterwards I heard weird noises in my room and I was so distracting by it because I am alone at home lol anyways I started wondering if I shouldn’t do you pile like wtf that never happened before but I decided to finish it as good as i can sooo coming back to the main topic… ) Not only are you fashion-forward I also think you really enjoy beauty and love related things. You might actually be quite the beauty <3 Also, your possessions, your money and your ideals seem to be important to you and are things you value very much.

𓆸 So, what is stopping you? What is the problem?

Ask yourself more often ‘how can I shine?’ and gather all your courage and confidence and create your own reality. You seem to lack confidence a bit. The theme of your journey is: taking your rightful place. You deserve all your desires. Don’t doubt yourself! You have the right to live your desired life or manifest your wishes. Don’t feel bad for it. You might feel a deep longing for something meaningful in your life. In your heart, you know that there’s more ‘out there’ waiting for you - and it’s true! It may be time to switch careers, or to move to a new home or city, or to initiate other important changes. If you planned to manifest those things through the void but started questioning if you should really do that. Let me tell you: DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU, AND SEEK OUT YOUR MAGICAL NEW LIFE !! Keep going! You might struggle with saying no to others and with prioritizing yourself. But you already have great courage and kindness inside you. You may not realize how strong and powerful you are, there is no problem in this world/reality that you can’t solve !! The compassion you so freely give to others must also be given to yourself! Stand strong in your convictions if the right answer to tell someone is no. It’s true that you have to make a sacrifice in order to move into the next creative expression of self - manifesting your desired life. But you are strong enough. The message I got for you pile 4 is ‘Honor your mystical and creative force’. You are the type to want to express your creativity in relationships, music, art and even food. And you should totally do that because it will empower you! You may feel restricted and powerless at this time but these are things that you have imposed on yourself. While on your void state journey, you may face a difficult decision of some sort, but you must release those constraints/limiting beliefs/issues before doing so. Be honest with yourself. I feel like you struggle with being authentic. You might avoid having to deal with your darker side and your subconscious issues- I feel like you try to ignore them or just avoid facing them. Take some time out, make yourself comfortable and have some deep talk with yourself OR just be in silence with yourself and let your thoughts flow and observe them if talking to yourself is too hard for you. Or you could write it all down, burn it (please stay safe lol) and affirm you new beliefs - especially regarding your void concept. I feel like that might help you alot. Also, it seems like you may have recently experienced a crushing failure or betrayal/back-stabbing that brought you to your knees. However, you should be mindful of not making yourself into a martyr because of it. Release any kind of victim mindset. Just know that you might have hit rock bottom - but from here on out there’s nowhere else to go but up. I can tell you from the messages I got for you that even though it feels like a waiting game for you at this time, opportunities/manifestations are lining up around you. I want you to merge with the flow of life, trust it in all its light and dark times on your journey. They have brought you to this point. Maybe unbeknownst to you, you are perfectly ready for this - trust your efforts and recognise the signs of serendipity occuring around you. You are where you are meant to be, doing what you are meant to be doing. You are growing in abundance and opportunity - you awakened fresh potential. Your circumstances (energetically) seem to be really good at this time! Use this chance no matter what! The planning period is over, it’s time to put your plans into action. Open the doors of opportunity to broaden your scope. Start thinking long term and be ready to embrace change!!

-> check out my other pac readings

#🌼 talking #pac #pick a card #void state #manifesting #reality shifting #success story #loa #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a picture #t.tarot #t.advice #t.loa #t.void

985 notes · View notes

lunar-years · 7 months

Note

what are your headcanons about tartt sr’s abuse? did it start when jamie was a teenager? was he always physically violent with jamie and maybe georgie too?

the s3 the finale is so disrespectful to georgie now that i think about it

Hi! This ones not super easy to answer because i think the show leaves the specifics largely up for interruption. My own thoughts on it are all over the map (and often change). I can basically see a lot of different avenues to getting to what we see play out in Man City, and I've seen a lot of differing thoughts on this topic; to be honest I find myself nodding along to most all of them even though all of them could definitely not coexist in the same universe, lol. So this is far from set in stone in my mind but here are my (once again quite long oops) general thoughts on how it might have gone (obviously TW for discussion of abuse below the cut):

the abuse canonically did start when Jamie was a teenager, because we know the Amsterdam trip happened when he was 14; whether the abuse also took the form of physical violence at that age I'm less certain, but I lean towards the bulk of that coming later. At this stage James was still in his "Stand Up Father" routine

I think the early relationship when James Tartt Sr. first came back into Jamie's life would've been a lot of false promises and the "Fun Dad" shtick Jamie describes when talking about Amsterdam. We also know James tried to get Georgie back at least once, and the way I interpreted the tone in which that was said was that the trip was neither the first nor the last time that happened. I kind of headcanon that James was in and out of rehab during that time, swearing to do better, making the same mistakes, rinse and repeat

Jamie's thoughts on James were a jumble of juxtapositions. James could always sweet-talk getting them an extra scoop of ice cream for free at the shop, he took Jamie to City matches and showed up all the time with cool or expensive gifts his mum could never afford - official kits and the like. He taught Jamie "life skills" like picking locks and petty crime tricks that, to a 12 year old were fucking cool! On the other hand he was also taking Jamie to pubs and making him try beer when he was like, 12 or 13. He made Jamie hang out with him and his friends - who were crude and brash and kind of scary. He arranged for Jamie to lose his virginity in Amsterdam because it was "past time for him to grow up and be a man."

All of those latter things made Jamie at best uncomfortable, but they were always balanced by the fun stuff. The good stuff. The problem was he never knew which version of his dad he was going to get on any given day, so he could never prepare for it.

I think the physical violence started off "small" - shaking his shoulder aggressively, keeping an ironclad grip on the back of Jamie's neck, etc. When he hit Jamie the first time he showed up the next day with a grand apology. He always used "getting too drunk" as his excuse and said "it won't happen again" and Jamie always believed him until the next time, because it really didn't happen that often, and anyway the bruises were never anything he couldn't keep hidden from Mummy and the teachers at school.

there were maybe one or two "Bad Times" when James "lost control" (in his own later words) and got Very Violent with Jamie whilst he was still a teenager. These are the times when Jamie learned how to hide substantial injuries and bruises from his team, his coaches, etc. and stared at his Roy Kent hoping by some miracle for the man to come out of it and save him.

I also think this is an instance where a young Jamie might have ~fought back~ and/or purposely said things to provoke his father, only to then have the resulting beat-down framed as a "punishment" by James, which scared him shitless (because canon Jamie does not seem afraid of most anything, but he is definitely terrified of his dad and that came from somewhere) and effectively prevented him fighting back in future. These occasions very much stand out as formative in his memory because the violence was so not constant at that time; the biggest thing to me is that James was incredibly inconsistent and that was part of his manipulation. Jamie started wondering if he was somehow at fault for the abuse, if it was his failure to be good that caused his dad to hurt him.

"say goodnight son..." when he goes to kill Beard with a lead pipe sure says a lot. I think that level of beating on Jamie and physically abusing him really began when Jamie was an adult playing for Man City. Both before he comes to Richmond and after he is sent back to Manchester in s1. He "restrained" himself during the season, to keep Jamie fit enough to play. But the off season has been a historically bad time for Jamie.

this is the timeframe where I think Jamie has a very tense relationship with his mother and isn't really talking to her about anything, let alone James. The distance between them started when he was teenager keeping secrets, worsened when she began things with Simon, and are by this point at an all time low, and he's fallen back on his father, spending more time with him than ever. He's essentially isolated himself from any support system and this is when things are really very Bad.

As for Georgie -

yes, i do imagine she also suffered from James abuse, though I don't think the abuse would have looked exactly the same for her as for Jamie

I think the bulk of it was emotional/verbal abuse. I can very much see James yammering on about he'd "never hit a woman." meanwhile he's spewing constant vitriol about her, calling her a bad mother, calling her slurs, and of course beating on their kid. But (in his warped brain) slapping Jamie around isn't the same as slapping Georgie around, because Jamie should be "able to take it" and "be a man." Just all kinds of ickiness exuding from that man.

"your father is never, ever going to change" is definitely the consensus (to me) of a woman who has been deeply manipulated by James in past and let down herself by his false promises. i would not be surprised if she HAD gotten back together with James once when Jamie was a teenager and he was on a longer sobriety stint from rehab.

I do think Georgie knew on some level that Jamie was being abused but I also really believe she did not realize the full extent. Jamie kept secrets from her (Amsterdam included). Georgie sensed there were secrets, but didn't poke into them, in part because of her own james-related trauma and in part for paralyzing fear of what she'd find if she looked deeper. It was easier to believe Jamie was still telling her only truths. So she comforted him the best ways she knew how, and she did her best to limit the time Jamie spent with James, but Jamie adamantly always wanted to see his dad, and she had to work so often and couldn't always be around to monitor him, and what was she to do, in the end?

Jamie does tell Georgie all of it after they repair their relationship circa/post s2/s3, and the resulting bond is stronger than ever.

#i think it is telling that jamie lets ted's advice in Mom City override his mother's #for the record I think his mother is right. and I think jamie does know she's right. but he still can't bring himself to act on her advice.#because if he does then it's really over and he's always going to have a shit dad and that's never going to change ever #if he follows ted's advice though...well there's still a chance isn't there?#and the part of him that is still 13 watching a City game with his Dad and his Dad let him get any snacks he wanted! any at all!#and they're laughing! and his Dad is telling him that's gonna be him down there one day on the pitch and his voice is all pride.#yeah...that part of Jamie. That part of him still wants to believe in that chance.#which is tragic but also says something about how resilient and inherently hopeful Jamie is.#jamie tartt #james tartt sr.#georgie tartt #asks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #ted lasso

35 notes · View notes

lokiwaffles · 14 days

Text

OOF SO TIRED. Anyways, here they are!!! Ash and Em(ery)! They took about 14 hours to complete! These are their designs when they are about 16 years old, in 2015. Their clothes probably vary from loop to loop, but everything else usually stays the same. Click for better quality because it is detailed I think but tumblr still killed it. Also there are design notes!

LORE DUMP BELOW (this is stuff i brainstormed over the past few days hehe):

-Both grew up in the Sanctum, both are orphans. Em’s parents are alive, Ash’s are dead.

-born 1999, Em in February, Ash in July.

-Both are sorcerers. Emery is proficient in offensive magic, and Ash is better at defensive magic.

-Ash and Emery learn about the loop near the very beginning, by accident. They tell the Ancient One who learns the loop cannot be broken and decides to use a memory erasing spell on the two. Unfortunately the spell goes wrong. This leads to Ash and Em remembering every subsequent time loop.

-They figure out who exactly is causing the loop after a few dozen loops— Holly and Co.

-Cursed with the knowledge of the loop, unable to grow up or move on, Ash and Em try different methods to figure out how to release everyone. This involves anything from attempting to keep Iris and Holly away from eachother as long as possible, or outright killing either of them. They figure out after more trial and error that Holly’s death causes a reset.

-Ash performs spells frequently to make the pair forget any of the darker things they’ve done, with only a vague “we did that already, don’t do it” triggered in their minds whenever they think of doing it again.

-They pity Holly, vaguely, but resent her immensely. For obvious reasons.

Iris annoys them, but they’ve figured out long ago they can’t really change her behavior. They know of Gray and Izzy, but neither play a huge part in Holly’s deaths 75% of the time.

-They have summoned Mephisto, and have even fought him before, but he always either kills them or kinda just laughs at them and flicks them away like little bugs. They’ve tried bartering, promising their souls, pretty much everything. He rejects them, and seems to delight in their suffering.

-They are super super close, and extremely dependent on one another. They’re past any sort of knowable bond (romance, platonic, etc.), and somewhat in the realm of literally two halves of the same person. They know one another perfectly.

-They have had arguments that spanned a couple decades, where they just. Ignore each other for loops at a time. But they always make up in the end.

-Have canonically lived hundreds of thousands of years. Em knows everything there is to know about 2010s marine biology. Ash is really good at art, if he could only retain the muscle memory.

-They have also convinced the sorcerers at the sanctum/any available avengers to come help fight Mephisto a few dozen times but it never goes well. Mostly because Mephisto never shows up to any challenge.

-The two have left Earth a few hundred times but never really find it interesting in space.

-Emery is a somewhat obsessive planner, and has the strength to execute any plans- by force of will, or magical strength. She is smart and strong, and knows it. She has a problem where she often thinks she knows better than others (mostly Ash), but Ash hates it when he feels as if he’s doing something “for his own good” or being ordered around. Em often ignores other people’s advice as well, but Ash gently reminds her that she does need to listen to what other people say, and that other perspectives matter.

-Ash is more laid back, but is smart as well. His is more of a subtle intelligence, more emotionally attuned. He’s less strategic, but he can predict what people think and how they will act, even outside of the timeloop. He thinks often of other people’s perspectives, and is more lenient towards Holly’s mistake than Em is (but just by a fraction). It’s hard to make him mad, but if you do, know he has Emery’s full support behind him. He is stands up to Em’s bossiness just fine.

-that’s all for now but I have TONS more info so if you have questions, just ask!!! I’ve probably thought about it at some point. Or I will. Work is a great place to brainstorm oc stuff.

Oh and here are individual outfit lineups:

#art #original character #character ref sheet #ash kreeslammer #emery castillo #marvel oc #RETCON EVERYTHING FROM DECEMBER PLEASE I BEG OF YOU

10 notes · View notes

buckfullmoon · 10 months

Text

Filled to the brim with a little something for everyone (I hope!), and presented in no particular order, here is the official Buck Moon 2023 Rec List! Join in the Buck Moon celebration by reading a fic, new or old, and leave a comment! Bonus points if you find the oldest and newest fics on the list.

Please mind the tags and ratings, etc on all fics before enjoying.

Safe And Sound by Orphan_Account

Moving into his new flat after his divorce, James Potter is surprised to meet his new neighbour--the ever adorable, sweet, Deaf Remus Lupin. Growing up a CODA, James is more than happy to meet someone who speaks his mother tongue, but isn't sure what to do when the feelings of friendship start to turn into something deeper. Freshly divorced, is James ready to move on?

beautiful boy by dykesiriusblack @dykefever

It has been since first year: this delirious want suffused in Remus’s veins. James introduced himself on their first day at university and Remus’s heart hasn’t sat right in his chest since. It’s been bunched over, scrunched in a corner to make room for James and his booming laugh and bright smile, the way his calloused fingers grip Remus’s elbow as he passes him in the hallway of their shared flat and scoops out his pulse. two boys and a day.

Blood Moon by @impishtubist

“No, you misunderstand.” Dumbledore’s icy-blue gaze holds his own, and for some reason, Remus feels a chill crawl down his spine. “Harry doesn’t know that James is alive.”

Crowns and Coffee Cups by @eyra

There's the wild, hedonistic James, all wicked grins and bright eyes behind his trademark glasses, and then there's the quiet, deliberate James with his low voice and a big, warm hand on Remus's chest, trying to feel for a fever beneath the cotton of his t-shirt and Remus thinks, as he closes his eyes to the touch, that both James's are rather wonderful but this one - this one is his. Remus gets ill, sometimes. James is always there.

Finding Me, Finding You by @puuvillaa

James has a one-night stand with Remus. In the morning, he realises what a big mistake he has made.

postcard from paris by @greyeyedmonster-18

They survived a war, and grew alongside each other, until life finally pulled the three of them in different directions. The night before James Potter leaves for a Healing residency in another country, he and Remus spend one last night together. Five years later, Sirius Black is getting married, and Remus finds himself face-to-face with James for the first time since that night . The night that ended in empty promises and a fever Remus couldn't sweat out. Sirius is in love. James is charming and handsome as he had ever been. And Remus, without a doubt, is unbelievably ruined.

Then Let’s Have Everything by probablydaydreaming

Remus has a breeding kink and James acts on it + cute, fluffy talks about the future and starting a family

I can wait, I can wait by bertramwooster

Remus Lupin spent almost every day of his 13th summer with James Potter.

tie the anchor to our feet and say goodbye by @mkaugust

Remus knows things never happen one at a time. He just didn’t expect to spend James' final months having a poorly timed sexuality crisis.

Until the Moon Sets by BelladonnaLee @lee-bella

On a moonlit night in the waning summer, Remus takes two bottles of Butterbeer and a pack of cigarettes to the Great Lake for a rendezvous with a certain someone who is no longer here.

Howling at the Moon by BelladonnaLee @lee-bella

He is lost in the forest of antlers, lost in his prey and lover's antlers on this full moon night.

Demoralized by Mairi Nathaira (Tara)

Remus is a prostitute. He runs into someone he knows and things changes from there.

Coming Second by orphan_account

James has a tough Quidditch match. Luckily Remus is on hand to sooth his.... Soul.

Campfire Confessions by @mkaugust

Quiet & warm late summer nights and a stolen hoodie.

The Bane of My Existence by @givemetherapyimawritingtravesty

Sugar Daddy moonchaser domestic fluff and smut.

The Truth Will Out by BeautifullyBrokenPeople

Auror James Potter gets cursed on a mission, and the consequences will have him revealing his deepest darkest secrets; but how will Remus, his best friend and long-time crush, handle the truth?

A Patient Wolf by RonsGirlFriday

"A gentleman is simply a patient wolf." (Lana Turner) A series of vignettes marking the passage of time in an unrequited Remus/James.

Fine by June by eprime

Remus gets everything he wants, and then he gives it up again.

Jersey Boys by @aqua-myosotis

James is going mad, Remus is a cutey and Sirius is done with it.

ripe, and semi-sweet by theweeddecays @remuspotterblack

Remus is finally ready to follow through on a promise he made to James.

The Art of Flying by @theresthesnitch

James always looked so pretty up in the air, but now, Remus controls when he gets to come… and when he gets to come down.

(PS... think a great fic is missing? Send an ask with a rec, it's not too late!)

#buck moon 2023 #buck moon #moonchaser #wolfbucks #remus lupin/james potter #james potter #remus lupin #fic rec #rec list

49 notes · View notes

kitkatopinions · 11 months

Text

The writing of V9 kind of feels like... When you go to someone and tell them "hey the thing you did was a mistake just to let you know" and they respond by being like "well I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I supposedly ruined everything! What do you want me to do, throw myself onto the ground sobbing? Just give up? Kill myself? Is that what you want from me? You know, people make mistakes, but I'm a good person, alright? I'm not perfect, but stop acting like I'm a monster!" And then like, two hours later you see that they made a post on Facebook that's like 'there's too much judgement in the world today and it's so sad. I just want everyone to know that no matter what other people say, you are perfectly imperfect and you've got this, super star. And the people that try to make you feel small and take away from your joy never really deserved you in the first place. This is a lesson I'm learning every day as I navigate trying to deal with people who seem to like to take their problems out on me. But I know I can stand by my choices and need to keep being me."

To clarify, it doesn't feel like Ruby specifically is like that - Despite the major flaws in her writing, she's the least bad of her friend group right now and I'm very sympathetic to her. But it feels more like the writers saw people going "these characters aren't perfect and are making mistakes and need to grow and learn" and they started being like

They were really ambiguous with what mistakes the characters made as if they themselves didn't think they actually had made mistakes, they went way more over the top than they had to so it feels like they were punishing Ruby the character to also punish the critics. And then it feels like they had their whole narrative about how Jaune and Ruby and Weiss all realize that their ambiguous and no big deal 'mistakes' aren't something they should grow from and learn from and decide to change for the better over, they're just things that happen and it doesn't mean you need to grow and change, it just means you aren't all powerful. The message really felt like 'so what if bad things sometimes happen around the main rwby characters? Everyone should stop expecting them to grow because they don't need to because we keep saying they're good people, and good people are fine, so everyone needs to stop being overly dramatic about the supposed mistakes."

It really does feel like the rwby writers put out this season in which change for the better and growth and learning are completely dismissed (beyond 'making your body better' by killing yourself, which is a whole different can of worms,) and the actual 'message' behind the season felt like it was "stop complaining, the rwby mains are good people, they don't need to grow and learn and change for the better, so shut up." And tbh, this message coming right after the massive controversies of Rooster Teeth is very not promising and it's hard for me to read it in any sort of good light. Like...

'People Make Mistakes Sometimes But They Don't Need to Grow Or Change Their Ways Because They're Good People Underneath, So Anyone Who Tries To Bother Them About Their Mistakes Is In The Wrong' feels very not super great after the whole company of Rooster Teeth seemed to put up a 'Nevermind about all that' banner and still hasn't paid their staff and Miles Luna still hasn't apologized for his horrible past behavior as far as I know and they're all begging fans to keep watching Rwby and selling bees merch through the company without paying their trans VA properly.

I'd find it much more meaningful - both personally and coming from the writers and for the characters - if V9 involved acknowledging how the mains messed up and what their flaws were, had the girls act regretfully over mistakes, had change and becoming better be the focus instead of staying the same and not doing anything differently... Etc. It looks really bad that the only lesson the writers seemed to want their characters to learn was 'sometimes letting people hurt themselves is good because they might get a better body.'

#rwde #tw; suicide #trigger warning; suicide

39 notes · View notes

merrilark · 3 months

Text

I don't want to sound like I'm hating on something before it's even had a chance to be released, but if the news is true, there's something a little amusing about the LA!A:TLA show supposedly watering down Sokka's arc because his sexism in the OG show "was iffy". A:TLA, the show with one of the most widely loved redemption arcs... The show most people think of when they think "well-written redemption arc"...

Like... are we going to water down Zuko, then, too? Or does he get a pass at being crappy because he's a "villain", while Sokka, a "hero", isn't allowed to be a little dislikable?

I'm too zonked today to put my thoughts together eloquently, sorry, but something about only allowing "bad" characters the room to do bad things and expecting them to grow, while assuming "good" characters must always be good and never make mistakes because duh, they're the GOOD guys seems... really ironic for a show that constantly pushed the thought that there is good and evil in everything, and what might look like acts of heroism to one person may look like acts of villainy to another. Villains will often see themselves as the heroes of their own story because they're doing what they believe is right according to their environment or circumstance. No one is perfect and everyone has the capability to evolve and change for the better (or the worst). Etc. etc.

Obviously Sokka's sexism is nothing compared to the harm Zuko does, but that makes the possible watering down of Sokka's arc worse, in my opinion. It creates this idea that badness is exclusive to identifiably "bad" people and that "good" people will always be right and just, and are above being influenced into bad ideas or beliefs. But that's just not true! Zuko and Sokka are both products of the places they came from, the culture they grew up in, and the trauma they endured. Sokka grew up in a tribe that had at least some heavy focus on traditional gender roles, enough that all the men were expected to go to war and the boys, like Sokka, left to defend the tribe. Being the oldest boy and carrying around the horror of losing his mother and potentially his father to the threat of the conquesting Fire Nation, it's no wonder Sokka carries some sexist notions. He's a young teen who feels he has to shoulder the weight of protecting the entire Southern Water Tribe alone. I'm shocked he's not more sexist, actually, because it's also a matter of pride, duty, and promise for him to protect the women and children around him. It makes just as much sense that he would believe in the rigidity of gender roles as much as Zuko, also a teen, also burdened by the weight his father placed on him, believes that his quest for finding the Avatar is important. Honor is important to both of them, because it's really all either of them has or have known.

But even if Sokka's sexism wasn't rooted in something as dramatic as his mother dying in a Fire Nation attack or all the other men going off to war, getting to see him grow through his experiences with Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors is so satisfying despite how quick it is. It's fun to see characters like Sokka get a little humbled, it's fun to see them change and grow and become more likable, because that's real.

Anyway. That's a lot of words for really just trying to say that I think "good" characters should be allowed flaws just like "bad" characters, because in the end, everyone is a person and what is A:TLA about if not the power of nuture vs. nature, and the ability to choose your own path?

#again too early to say. might be judging too quickly but that made me grimace.#sokka isn't even that bad in the og! i feel like if you watered him down more he'd just not be sexist at all lol #why must heroes be perfect? let them be jerks. let me dislike them.#media criticism #media criticism for ts #media crit for ts #merri grumbles

5 notes · View notes

nextinline-if · 2 years

Note

you don’t have to write this ofc but, part 2 of the break up ask ig, how would the ROs go about getting MC back? coming back alive and well in C’s case or the person that threatened F “disappearing” or something, etc

I won't be doing C's since I already wrote several follow ups lol, the others are below the cut <3 but I kind of wrote it as MC initiating the reconciling. I hope that's okay anon!

Margaret

Margaret had thrown herself into work after breaking up with you. This meant months overseas. But it also meant that sometimes she was at the castle, meeting with your mother after she returned from her trips.

And each time she returned, you were waiting for her. You never approached but you leaned against the wall outside of your mother's office and watched her. And you always waited to watch her leave, too.

It wore Margaret down a little more each time. She wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. To ask for everything to go back to the way it was before.

On one of those days, when she's visiting the castle, her facade finally breaks when she looks into your eyes. Her breath catches and she feels tears well up at the thought of all the pain she caused you in an effort to protect you. Your gaze softens when you see that you finally broke through her walls. Again.

When you take a step forward, she turns and darts from the castle, out into the gardens. Her back against a wall, she does her best to blend in with the shadows from the setting sun. And then you come running out of the castle and stop to look around for her. You start walking toward your favorite spot, hoping she's there, until you hear her let out a quiet breath.

Shit, shit, shit! Don't turn around.

But you do turn around and her red lips catch your notice. "Margaret," you say softly. As if she's a wounded cat that might flee.

Margaret's brown eyes search for a way out of this situation. She'd only dreamt of your forgiveness. Only dreamt of what came after. She wasn't prepared for the pivotal moment it required.

You take a step closer and she tracks you with her eyes. "Tell me that you don't love me and I'll leave," you whisper.

She looks away. Was she willing to lie to you again? No - she couldn't lie about her love for you. It was time to face reality.

Her feelings weren't going away and she didn't want them to.

She locks back onto your eyes. "I lied to you once, but I'd never lie about my love for you." Margaret stepped out of the shadows. "I thought -" But she stops, unsure how to explain herself.

You step closer, grasping her soft hands. "You heard the conversation with my mother, isn't that right?"

Margaret feels her face grow warm as she nods, not willing to meet your eyes. You let out a relieved sigh. "I was hoping it was a simple as that. And not that you truly thought we were a mistake."

You gently tilt her face up so she's looking at you.

"I'm sorry," she utters, breathless.

You give her a small smile and wrap your arms around her petite frame. "Promise you'll never leave again," you ask.

"Never," she promises.

F watches from their tower window as a ship docks at the harbor. They almost drop their mug when they see Castelon's royal flag. "No," they whisper in disbelief. Could it be that you're really here? F shakes their head. No, they have no reason to come here, they think.

But then they watch the crew disembark and their eyes land on you. They would know you in any crowd. Their eyes, like their heart, always seem to find you. F sets down their mug with shaky hands and touch the window, mouth agape.

Three minutes. That's how long they watch until you begin making your way toward their home. F takes a step back. Confused. Unsure. Then they look around at the mess. Things had fallen into disrepair and they hadn't cared to take care of because nothing mattered in a life without your love.

F quickly changes into clean clothes and glances into the mirror for a moment. Somber green eyes stare back at them. They take a moment to wash their face. Not because they want to appear attractive to you, but because they don't want to see how fucked up they've been without you.

There's a knock at the door. Their heart stammers as they stumble back, breathing ragged. F puts a hand to their head, willing themself to slow down. Finally, they swallow enough air and make their way down the stairs. It's a slow walk as your voice travels up into their ears. Their fingers grip the railing for strength. How do I face you after all this time? How do I face the one I love when I know they hate me?

F forces themself to cease this line of thinking, lest tears fall from their eyes before you've even spoken to them. Finally, they reach the threshold. They reach you.

A relieved look flits across your eyes. And then concern as you look them over. Neither of you speaks for a moment and the air of the threshold becomes overwhelming. F chokes out words with the only alternative being swallowed by the lingering tension. "Let's sit down," they say, gesturing to a greeting room. You follow them.

After they're seated, you sit next to them, despite plenty of space. F's breath catches as they feel your warmth for the first time in years. Their green gaze studies you.

You reach out a hand, causing them to freeze as you trace your thumb across their jaw. "You haven't been taking care of yourself," you say, an edge to your voice.

They glance away, lest they say what they truly want: I am but half a person without you. Instead, they force themself to swallow those words. "What are you doing here?"

"You were threatened. We uncovered a plot and with it, that information..." You pause, waiting to see their reaction.

F's eyes snap to yours as they suck in a breath. Their face crumples. In relief. In anger. In longing. You wrap your arms around them as they sob. "I know," you whisper as you run a hand up and down their back.

After some time, they pull back and look at you. "Will you ever forgive me?"

You smile at them. "I already have," you tell them as you squeeze their hand.

They nod and look down at your hand on theirs. "So...what now?"

"You come home."

F looks at you, tears threatening again to spill over. "Are you sure?" they ask.

"Yes, just as I'm sure that I love you and need you by my side." You lean forward to place a kiss on their forehead. "Let's go pack your things."

Felix

Felix wandered from tavern to tavern, city to city. But in reality, he was just running. Trying to forget about how he fell so deeply in love with you that suddenly the world made sense. Trying to forget about how bleak it all was without you.

He didn't know that you were keeping tabs on him, worried about him. Every time you received a report, it showed that he always drank alone.

And always went home alone, too.

He hadn't shown interest in a single person. Which you found puzzling, since he adamantly claimed that he was ending things because he need more intimacy.

Your duties had kept you busy all these months. Busy enough to hold it together. Not busy enough to ignore your aching heart. One morning, you're walking through the gardens, wondering what Felix is up to, when you hear some nobles talking.

And Felix was the topic of conversation.

"The Heir is better off without him - even he realized it. A simple man like that can't keep up with the needs of The Crown."

"Of course, how could he not realize it when it was whispered in every ear," the other replied, laughing.

Your eyes widen as you remember his words. "...you can't keep up with my needs." Your fists clench as a desire to storm around the corner and shut them up overwhelms you. Later, you think, Felix is more important.

Felix is so drunk that he didn't even realize he had made it back to the capital. "Another one," he said to the barkeep. He takes a swig before slamming it down on the counter and hanging his head. Fuck, fuck it all, he thought, I'm so tired of this shit.

He only ever dreams of you. So he has to stay awake or get drunk enough to pass out. And staying awake with a drink just means he thinks about you. So he gets drunk. Otherwise, he wakes up with fresh tears on his cheeks. How could he not when your laughter consumes his dreams? When your loveliness pulls at his heartstrings?

The tavern door opens and hurried footsteps make their way to the bar. Someone else here to drink their sorrows, I suppose.

"Felix," you call, voice desperate and unsure.

"Fuck," he growls, not bothering to turn around. "Now you haunt me here, too."

He lets out a yelp as you slap the back of his head. He turns around angrily "Who the fu-" But his hazel eyes stare in horror as he realizes it was you. He shakes his head, hoping it's a vision or that he's too drunk.

You roll your eyes, frustrated. "I'm really here."

He sucks in a breath before sliding off of his stool and dropping to his knees. He grabs your hand and places a kiss, enjoying the warmth the spreads through his body at your close proximity. "I'm such an idiot," he mutters.

You sigh and let out a dry chuckle. "Yes, you are. But you're my idiot." His eyes snap to yours, hope hammering in his heart.

You crouch down and take his face in your hands. "You are what I need. Do you understand? You."

He stares at you for a moment before tears reach his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he whispers.

You wrap your arms around him. "You'll have to do a lot to make it up to me," you reply, a small smirk on your face as you lean back from the hug to meet his eyes.

He chuckles. "I'm at your service," he says. Then he kisses your cheek. "For the rest of our days."

#anon reply #hypothetical #f faramund #felix faramund #lady margaret #interactive fiction

86 notes · View notes

whatsnewalycat · 11 months

Note

Do you have any advice for writing flawed, imperfect characters? How do you manage writing them without making them totally unsympathetic? (Big question I know but you’re just so good at it)

Oooooo I love this question.

My really unhelpful superpower is the ability to empathize with pretty much anyone. I was listening to this Brené Brown Ted Talk (The Power of Vulnerability) and she said this thing like “Everybody has a story that will bring you to your knees.” And I think that’s true. People are complicated and almost everyone is sympathetic in their own way.

When I come up with characters, really, a big piece of them are constructed from people whose stories I’ve been lucky enough to hear. I think about people I love or have loved, including myself, and those people’s idiosyncrasies, flaws, stories, backgrounds, redeeming qualities, etc, and pull inspiration from them. You kind of have to mold together a character who contains enough substance and mess to feel like a real person. To me, it’s more important for a character to be real than likable.

Another really important piece of the imperfect character is letting them fuck up. I know as writers, we grow attached to our characters and don’t want to cause them pain… but how the fuck else does growth happen, you know? How else are they gonna figure out what needs to change?

Make them do the stupid thing they promised they wouldn’t do, or give into an impulse, or start a petty argument. Then make them learn from it and convey the emotions they’re going through. Fuck, maybe they make the same mistake again and again until the lesson sticks or they suffer the consequences, because that’s what humans do. Growth isn’t linear. That saying “kill your darlings” - do that, and keep them grounded in the honesty of your storytelling.

Ok I’ll be done babbling about this now, sorry for the long rant. I hope that is helpful and/or makes sense 💖💖

#ask response #writing things #character development #flawed characters #long post

11 notes · View notes

winns-stuff · 1 year

Note

See I normally like the "a-hole with a heart of gold" trope because usually when done well it shows layers to the character, like why they act the way they do and it also shows them growing out of being an a-hole or has them change for the better. For the most obvious ex ever that people harp about (but for good reason actually I promise) - Zuko from avatar the last airbender and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.

Hades we get to sort of see why hes a closed off jerk (he has some trauma regarding his parents and relationships) but the difference is, it seems like this is used to excuse his actions and even justifies them. Like instead of showing hey hades might seem like a cold hearted jerk to his citizens hes actually fair and decent all we get is... Hades doing the exact thing that people accuse him off / 'misunderstand' about him.

The citizens don't seem to recognize him because hes always cooped up in a building but we never actually see hades do any work. The citizens see him as mean and uncaring and instead of contradicting this he... Pulls out a college students eyeball and breaks his bones over a photograph. There's one day a year or something that citizens actually get to use to complain / offer suggestions to Hades for the underworld and Persephone skips the entire line and uses the day to have lunch with him and also to have him fix her problems (that he created).

We see the underworld itself getting fixed but what about the citizens? Nothing about the time change or sleep curse affecting them?

Persephone mentions hades and his brothers are known for their sordid affairs and instead of him being loyal to Minthe he... Kinda cheats on her with Hera and does cheat on her (emotionally at least) with Persephone herself, who says she doesn't like Minthe but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on... Then they don't really set up boundaries or stop trying to see each other they just agree to "slow their relationship down".

So I don't think Hades deserves to quantify as a-hole with a heart of gold if the only things we see from him is him being nice to one person (his love interest whos interactions are a bit weird anyway... With Persephone often having to console hades over both his own trauma and hers, him love bombing her etc.) And him... Liking dogs I guess?

Like even in comparisons where its trying to say Hades is somehow the better man compared to the rest of the cast, even Zeus ... Fails. Hades shouts at Zeus for trying to basically sell him Leuce and at Zeus for being a cheater and not knowing what loyalty is... When again, hes cheated on Minthe before with Zeus' own wife, his sister in law, Hera.

We don't see Hades contradicting really anything people "misunderstand" about him. All we see is confirmation of it.

I agree! I enjoy the trope as well when it’s done right but when it’s so one sided that it feels like they’re just an asshole and nothing else it gets boring. Especially when they have no actual acknowledgement of their behavior, like Zuko realized he was wrong and he decided to help the Avatar just to right his mistake. Hades never rights his wrongs because no matter what he does both himself, the people around him, and the story justifies everything and it feels like he’s never wrong. There’s always an excuse yet never any accountability and that’s what makes it breaks the whole “asshole but has a heart of gold trope”, you can’t just make an unlikeable and terrible character and instead of actually developing him you try to label him a good guy without ever doing any good guy things. It’s pointless and defeats the trope as a whole.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo

23 notes · View notes

bshmatthews · 10 months

Text

I don't think of myself as someone with religious trauma, but a very damaging behavior/belief that I picked up when I was a kid attending a Southern Baptist church:

When you sin, you must repent. And repentance is more than an apology. When you apologize you just say "sorry". But when you repent, you actually regret it and you are never ever going to commit that sin again, or you were lying when you said you repent, which is an additional sin on top of the original one. If you commit the sin again, you must not actually regret hurting the person you sinned against.

Well, when I was a kid, I had ADHD and most of my "sins" were stuff like:

being late

not doing homework

losing things

not doing chores

losing my temper

sloth (aka sleeping all the time bc I was depressed and exhausted)

etc. And I recognized in myself that I was going to have a very hard time stopping these behaviors. I tried to improve, but in my mind I couldn't "repent" being late to an outing with a friend until I was sure that I was never ever going to be late for anything again. (Keep in mind I was like 11-13 at this time if that sounds absurd.)

When I kept failing at repentance, I talked to my Bible school teachers, and they were like, "you're weak-willed, you just have to ask God for the strength." So yay, being "weak-willed" became part of my self-image.

Suffice to say, God did not give me the strength or cure my ADHD, and since only repentance was acceptable, I stopped apologizing for my behavior. If I couldn't promise I'd never do the thing again, what use was it? And when people would expect an apology of me I got very defensive bc in my mind I was just being honest. "What, you want me to lie and say I'll do the dishes next time? I'm a weak-willed person who can't do anything right! I don't know when I'll do the dishes!" And that led to frustration and anger on everyone's parts. It was all really damaging to my relationships.

As I got older I realized people wanted to hear that I regretted my actions (which I did) at least as much as they wanted to hear that I'd stop doing whatever hurt them forever. And I realized that I could ask for help in changing behaviors that hurt others, or ask for accommodations, when my own "will" wasn't enough. I don't have to do it alone. And now I apologize for stuff all the time and try to treat mistakes I make as a problem to solve more than like... a deep-seated character flaw or my inherent evil sinful nature showing its head.

Reading another tumblr post about apologies made me wonder how many other people have this weird repent-not-apologize belief system going on and sabotaging them, ruining their relationships and making it impossible for them to grow. I definitely know I've met other folks in day-to-day life who seem to have internalized it, both towards other people and themselves. "My husband was late to pick up the kids again, so he was LYING when he said he was sorry for being late to pick them up last time." I get where they're coming from even if I don't think it's a useful way to look at the world or other people.

#religion #apologies #random ramble

7 notes · View notes

iammissingautumn · 1 year

Text

Assigning South Park M5 Mitski lyrics/songs

Stan Marsh - Brand New City

Think my brain is rotting in places

I think my heart is ready to die

I think my body is falling in pieces

I think my life is losing momentum

I think my ways are wearing me down

Stan Marsh is a character who has never been only about his depression or/and his levels of self hatred he has expressed in a place like Your Getting Older. But I feel like this really gets to the core of how he kinda views his unwinding. This kinda realization that the way you’re living is hurting you like you’re your own dislocated shoulder grating yourself down. I think that fits him.

Butters Stotch - Working For The Knife

I cry at the start of every movie

I guess 'cause I wish I was making things too

But I'm working for the knife

I always knew the world moves on

I just didn't know it would go without me

I used to think I'd be done by twenty

Now at twenty-nine, the road ahead appears the same

Though maybe at thirty, I'll see a way to change

That I'm living for the knife

I think this reflects a very specific way that Victor ended up being. The way that he could be wishing for more and so on. He works in a harmful industry and he had such a penchant for creativity as a kid and the arts (tap dancing, drawing, singing, playing guitar, etc) and yet when he grows up he gets into Post Covid’s scheme.

Which feels so much inspired from his Professor Chaos persona, which was born out of being hurt when he was young. And he was hurt when he was young largely because of how his parents abuse shaped him. Which is why I feel like “I always knew the world moves on. I just didn’t know it would move without me.” is such a good line for him. Butters was abused heavily for breathing, almost killed by his own mom, etc. His only solace could be his friends yet Cartman hurt him as well, rejection and malice all over the place. Until Butters was someone Cartman could use as a pawn, but as that happened over time Butters became his own ball of bad traits (he’s so misogynistic, racist, such a bully as of more recent times) and never was given a space to understand what was happening to his brain and was so upset by the bad things he leaned into it till it bled out of the Professor Chaos persona and became Worse.

He wants to be better, he wishes he could be. But he’s working for the knife!

Kenny McCormick - A Burning Hill

I'm tired of wanting more

I think I'm finally worn

I am a forest fire

And I am the fire and I am the forest

And I am a witness watching it

And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep

And I'll love the littler things

Kenny being stuck in this cycle of (forced and self) sacrifice results in this cracked image of a lad. Expecting better from Cartman, expecting his other two friends to notice, expecting his parents to get better. I think there’s a level of hope in a young child that he feel that’s eroded away with time. And then he becomes the person who’s the destructive fire, and he is the forest being burned, and he’s the person not doing anything but being able to watch. He can’t stop his deaths but it’s in him.

With this ending promise of something more, of maybe being able to grow and expand. Love more. Have more. Not eternally burning.

Eric Cartman - Remember My Name

I gave too much of my heart tonight

Cause I need somebody to remember my name

I need someone to remember me

I need something bigger than the sky

Hold it in my arms and know it's mine

Eric Cartman has this distinct need for validation that moves him in such a specific way. Often when thinking he’s gotten himself in a corner we find that he’s actually on top of it all. Scott Tennorman Must Die is a good example of seeing him tempted purely because of how other people see him because of the stupid mistake. Along with this he has this distinct naivety (Butthole’s backstory is that their dad fucked their mom) that comes out in certain spots that show how much he cares about how people view him. On top of this he enjoys things like Butters being a minion of his. And his want and need for control, I think it fits well of him viewing that as a legacy, as wanting to be seen.

Kyle Broflovski - First Love/Late Spring

But I find that lately

I've been crying like a tall child

胸がはち切れそうで

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five

Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child

And I don't wanna go home yet

First Love/Late Spring is a song riddled with romanticization and dependency that I would attribute more to someone like Stan rather than Kyle. Yet these parts stood out individually to me as something that felt so deeply Kyle. Kyle is a character who spends a lot of time pushing aside other things to fight and speak out for the “just” cause. Often sacrificing his own time and mind to fight for the right cause, usually against Cartman. So I think there’s something particularly Kyle about this. How he’s stepped up as a young child, socially and interpersonally. But I imagine as he gets older that stuff kinda chips away and he sees the cost it does to him.

There’s this lost feeling he has connected to him. Something that I think would follow him he never checks in on himself as he grows up. The feeling of your chest about to burst, your world crumbling. His issues come about in a very different way. He looks productive but it hurts him, and I believe Kyle to be more emotionally intelligent then the rest and find a way to deal with this. But when he can’t, or even while he is, he has this hit of this experience the lyrics highlight.

#u can send in requests for some other artists or characters if u may like this #south park #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #stan marsh #butters stotch #kenny mccormick #stan south park #mod caden #meta

21 notes · View notes