#i really need advice

[aesthetically-dying101]

TW vent abt some ableist shit i got hit with today (maybe?) i need advice

This is a genuine question to every disabled person on this app cause idk if i'm the one going insane, but basically i was sitting at lunch with some friends today, and this other girl i didn't know (jessica for the sake of online privacy) started talking to me.

Then she pointed out my hearing aids (signa, they're pretty discrete but are visible) and asked about them.

So i explained my disease and my nervous damage and whatnot... (i'm hard of hearing, as in 80% loss in my left ear, 70% in the other)

She then told me she related to me, and for a second i genuinely thought she was either deaf or hoh... BITCH I WAS SO WRONG

She told me that during this summer she went scuba diving and water got stuck behind her eardrum. (she has no issues now, she recovered 100%)

So she knew how i felt, she then went on a tangent about how hard it is to lose your hearing.

???

Is it wrong that this pisses me off??? Like you can't relate to me?? You barely understand what it's like to lose you hearing.

So uh yeah, this feels so weird to say to someone who's disabled, like idk, to me it feels like telling someone who's lost a leg that you relate to them bc you broke your leg.

Yeah anyways, am i being dramatic? Cause i feel like i'm justified but it could be coming from a nice place?

#hard of hearing #deaf #deaf community #deafculture #deafawareness #hoh #genetic disease #disabled #disability #actually disabled #i need advice #hearing aids #hearing loss #aita #i guess #i really need advice #cause idk how to react #cripplepunk #cripple punk #ableist bullshit #maybe? #i think #i'm not sure though #i'm not sure yet

[simpingandprocrastinating]

Out of pure curiosity, how long should an artist take to complete a commission?

I'm almost finished with my first one, and really this is the first time I'm even doing commissions. But I feel like I've been working on it too long and I should be able to deliver my work faster? Does that make sense??

What is normal for someone who is a slow artist?

#I really need advice #It really makes me feel like I'm a bad artist #Im extremely slow

[a-land-of-infinite-wonders]

What do I do if not post about the secret history, music or teenage girl problems? Okay so today it’s a teenage girl problem.

I really really like this boy, and I’ve been talking to him the past few days. But not “talking” talking, just talking like normal talking. My friends think it’s gonna become something and it’s kinda feeding my delusions 🥲 I don’t want to completely get my hopes up but everything he is doing kinda points to something happening between us but at the same time, what if he doesn’t see it like that? You know? I don’t want to be so excited and like tricked into thinking this will be something when I’m just going to be let down in the future.

#having a crush #is the worst #I don’t know what to do #I really like him #but like #idk #I’m scared #because the last time I liked a boy I was absolutely destroyed when it all went to shit #that was kinda different than this though #this boy is more like #real #I need advice rn #like #I really need advice #am I misreading the signs? #teenage girl problems #am I right? #No I have other shit to worry about but this is my hyper fixation rn #a boy. #this is typical me

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

I really need some advice. Should I tell my friend about the class exhibition coming up?

After everything that's been going on with us and the weird place we're at now where it's hard to tell what our relationship is ... I genuinely don't know what to do.

Like ... I would like her to be there but with how things are, I don't know if its appropriate to even bring it up. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about my work after she said the first show I got into sounded boring and kept blowing off how important it was to me. This show is different, it's just the senior show for school but ... still.

I'm also hung up about this because it opens on friday and she doesn't have class friday meaning she won't ve on campus for it. She always complains about the drive and it'd be in the evening so ... yeah. It makes me worried that if I did ask her she'd say no because of all the reasons I just said, but I'd also be worried if she said yes because then I'd be scared she only said that because she pressured to and she doesn't genuinely care.

I might be overthinking things, I just don't fucking know anynore. If anyone has any advice or guidance, I'm all ears. This is really stressing me out, I don't know what to do.

#tw mental health #depression diary #tw depressing thoughts #tw anxiety #stress #i need a friend #i need advice #please help me #friend advice #guidance #i'm genuinely scared #idk what to do #i really need advice

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

#like what the fuck #where is the common courtesy of fandoms these days im just fucking asking. its ridiculous #the back button is free. shutting your fucking mouth is free. constructive criticism when people ask for it is nice but only then #these are fucking basic level fandom engagement things #am i old or are people just this fucking awful now that these guidelines dont exist anymore #im just. ough #sorry i had to get this out. idk as someone who has never left unsolicited advice for anyone and never gotten it back it just #it fucking grinds me that people are like this now. like fucking wow #ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn #im gonna go back to video game sorry i really needed to yell for a hot fucking second #if you choose to reblog this dont fucking clown on it okay. god #night is an absolute mess on main

[galoogamelady]

Hi!! I love your work!

Do you have any tips on how to stylize hands?

Thank you <3 I hope you’re feeling better!

I don't have a moodboard of hands I really like but I think it's a good idea to study what details you enjoy on your favorite styles. For example: I really like how in MHA they often don't draw the nailbeds, just the part of the nail where it starts separating from skin. I think it's really tasteful and simple, yet realistic, so sometimes I do this too:

My other example would be to pay attention to details and lack of details. Sometimes this can add to the funny factor too, like when a simplistic cartoony creature has an extremely realistic looking hand. But anyway here's my quick brainfart on the matter:

If you're gonna draw long nails, you better watch some nail videos to learn the ideal shape and weight etc. of them. It's so easy to make them look like dog claws or nasty old crone hands! Sorry, this turned into my personal nail drawing preference lol

I don't have any very smart advice on drawing stylized hands beyond "use real life / 3D reference still" and "practice until it looks ok" :') Pay attention to which way the individual shapes bend. If you don't study real hands and only copy other artists' hands, you might learn a few wrong things (but I guess this applies to most real life studies).

Oh and I'm feeling better now, thank you! ^^

#I have some bad habits like I really need to pay attention when I draw knuckles at some angles #because they get way more rounded than you'd think #I have a long way to go until I can draw hands in a way that I'm 100% happy #personal #art advice #hands

[qvincvnx]

sometimes when total strangers commit the crime of being annoying in my reblogs i DM them or reply @ them before blocking simply due to the autistic need to be understood. BUT i have rules for when i'm allowed to do that.

1. i'm not allowed to do it without running the scenario past a groupchat to make sure i'm justified in annoyance and not simply evil (due to migraine, hangry, etc) 2. i have to make it constructive and helpful feedback, such that they can avoid getting blocked in future interactions. which sometimes makes me feel like i'm some sort of tumblr user manners training wizard. eg:

> CHUMMY INSULTS are only funny if you are already MUTUALS WHO TALK. try upgrading your FRIENDSHIP before attempting this maneuver!

> if you don't wish to ANNOY other USERS, try NOT leaving long, off-topic REBLOGS. such REBLOGS may result in other USERS taking the BLOCK action against you, and/or being targeted by a PISS ON THE POOR attack in future interactions!

> unloading your PERSONAL TRAUMA in a STRANGER'S INBOX unprompted is a BOUNDARY VIOLATION!

many such cases. obviously don't phrase it like this unless your goal is to be insanely condescending. but anyway i recommend doing your best to at least mentally frame your feedback this way if you're going to block the motherfuckers anyway.

#sometimes it's GENUINELY agonizing to just block someone without explaining why and this is something i only do then because: i do know. #like i know this is both insane and rude. however sometimes i can't help myself and i really try very hard not to make it... ad hominem. #but. 'your behavior is inappropriate and i am setting a boundary but also i want you to know why' (<- said by guy who needs to know always) #if nothing else if the advice is constructive you won't hate yourself for losing your temper. #tumblr wizard #<- so i can FIND THE FUCKING POST AGAIN

[nordidia]

bro how do you draw raph

i pray and then hope for the best

#sorry i have #. no good advice i jsut let myself get possessed #how do you spell posessedf #i was working on a little guide with a few tips #i really need to get back on that

[oldkamelle]

Still accepting Ideas? If so, Spy asking advice on Sniper on how to tell Scout that he is his dad.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 fanart #traditional art #traditional comic #pen doodles #oldart #mercs #(gently holds your hands) anon. what the fuck. /lh #this was such a behemoth of an idea cuz it raises so many questions?? #why would spy suddenly want to tell scout the truth given how he only chose to when scout was two seconds away from dying #(also. cant remember which comic this is but when spys about to drive off after scout begs him to take him as well #he only does so when scout mentions his ma so thats on my mind as well) #hes never shown like he feels the need to yknow #if spy decided to tell scout the truth why would he be asking for advice like wouldnt he want to keep it out of anyone elses business #(which fair enough wouldnt really happen given scout but eeh) #also he already did it good enough besides the cosplaying #and if spy for some reason was gonna ask for advice why would he go to sniper specifically #did i answer any of these questions in this mess? #the answer to that is the same as to 'do i have a good understanding of the characters' or 'do i have storytelling skills' #which is to say no #i also couldnt think of a way to make it funny to try and get away with that so i had to go with the more serious route so #anyway. sincerely hope its good enough anon (thumbs up)

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game? #????????????? #i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping' #i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

[shinyrhinestones]

Is it true that you’re tired once you shift back from your DR?

#i really need to know #just in case yk #shifting #reality shift #shifting realities #desired reality shifting #desired reality #current reality #shift #shifting community #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifters #reality shifting #shifting motivation #shifting antis dni #calling shifters #shifting advice #shifting script #time ratios

[jessepinwheel]

my very serious writing advice for people who are trying to write more morally complex characters is to stop caring about their morality and focus instead on their individual motivations

it’s hard to articulate exactly what I mean, but the essence of it is basically: when a character does a murder, not only do I not care about whether they’re justified in doing so, it’s straight-up irrelevant. a character’s moral standing from some nebulous universal standard has no bearing on the plot or their interactions with other characters and has no use in the story for me as a writer. what does matter is why the character thought they were justified and then if it comes up to other characters, what they think about it.

you can obviously think about your characters’ morality but it’s not your job as a writer to interpret your stories for your readers and tell them how to judge your characters. your readers can see the evidence for themselves and draw their own conclusions. your job is just to understand why a character is motivated to act in a certain way and have it make sense

focusing on character motivations is a much more versatile framework than trying to give them specific personality traits or moral alignments, and frankly more useful to understand why a character would do a certain thing instead of just what they do. that way when something fucked up happens and your character starts acting differently, there’s an actual logical reason for it that isn’t you forcing characters to do things because it’s what’s required to make the plot go

when you write your characters with the understanding that people are not static and they act differently under different circumstances, complexity in character and morality follows naturally.

#honestly I don't think of my stories as being morally complex #like the thought of morality doesn't enter my mind at all #I straight do not care #advice like 'make sure you give your characters some flaws' have always felt very unhelpful to me #traits don't have to be good or bad #they're just traits #whether something is a flaw is heavily context dependent #and trying to build characters from a sum of 'good' and 'bad' just flattens them #this ties back into my other thing about how characterization is a scam #because you can write just about any character by writing a reasonable human person #and just having a good handle on what they want and what they're willing to do to achieve it #that's it #that's all you need #I have a lot of thoughts about this but #at the end of the day #does it really matter if a character is 'right'? #is it not enough to put a character in some situations?

[spikeface]

Based on (x).

#teen wolf #scott mccall #twedit #ok so yeah this edit was sparked by how poorly melissa was explored in s5 #and in general how they dropped her as anything but an occasional prop to tell scott to get back out there after 2x10 #but i hope it's not taken as bashing because that's truly not how i mean it #i feel like both scott and melissa don't know how to talk to each other #not because they don't love each other or want the best for each other #but s1 melissa already starts out not knowing scott's life very well #she's interested and trying to support him and make time for him #but is swamped with work and overwhelmed with being a single parent #and would also desperately like her own life if it's possible #scott is already working to support them and agonizes over costing them anything - money time attention #they start the series already without an equilibrium and it only gets worse as scott becomes a werewolf #i think melissa also has a survivor's mentality of soldiering on #and so that's also the advice scott is getting #even when what they both really need is time to rest and connect #and it just made me so sad that scott's flashback was about being hospitalized #but his mother was there and he was being care for #whereas now #he's back at the hospital #alone #desperately in need of care

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #mental health support #suicide #suicide tw #(after this i'm going to rant about being told the unhelpful narrative i included above) #when i was younger the thing i was told the most was that suicide would only transfer my pain to others... #...and is that true? maybe. was it helpful? no. #why was that unhelpful? #because i started using that as yet ANOTHER reason to feel guilty and to lash out against myself... #...because that didn't magic away my suicidality like it 'should have'... #...and that was ~obvious~ proof i didn't care enough about my loved ones to keep them out of harms way... #...and it can be really hard not to do that (give advice like that) because if you're not the suocidal person... #...you have the luxury of thinking without the burden they are labouring under... #...you can see 'logically' and make assumptions about what the other person 'needs' #it's just frustrating because i know that people like this want to help but i worry about *how* they are helping... #...in the sense that i want their efforts to actually help their person and bring them closer

[moonviewer]

"I will keep going forward, no matter how hopeless it might seem."

(please do not repost my art and just leave a link to it if you'd like to share instead, thank you!)

#shining nikki #sn nikki #my art #sn #nikkiverse #i drew this for an art contest #but i really drew it because i wanted to say something with its message #and because i needed a reason to paint something to practice my art style #lol #i tried to make it so even those who don't know its context could understand...at least a little bit #i've recently been watching Naoki Saito (an illustration advice youtube channel) and i've been wanting to try out the things i learned ther #this time i wanted to try conveying a concept/message just in 1 image alone #at first it was honestly more difficult than i thought i tried it for days #but nothing worked and when i finally did get the idea that became this drawing it was because i was thinking one night of how #nikki was someone who has failed thousands and thousands of times yet she never gave up #i admired that because i was thinking of how i just keep failing in my goals that night #that was when i thought i wanted to convey that strength that nikki has #that strength that i also wished to have #and that was when the concept just flowed to me like water so easily #isnt it strange that its only when i start to feel like theres something i want to say that i finally find the idea to express it #something so obvious that i don't even realize lol #for context this image is about someone who lived in a world operated by AI where all emotions and creativity are shut down and dominated b #AIs kinda like the current AI crisis in the art community #but this someone believed in a world with vivid color #and the heart that created such an imperfect yet beautiful world before AI dominated it #thats what i wanted to express #thanks for reading if anyone bothers reading my long rants lol :)

[smorgasbort]

It sounds weird considering they're mute and featureless but I really like the character of C4-621. I suppose I should say I like them conceptually, rather than just liking the specific C4-621 self-insert that I play as.

I like this stoic shell of a human being who's gone through so much that at this point they're pretty much only capable of piloting an AC and doing nothing else. They're merely functional.

But they're still a person with thoughts and drives and they still manage to express themself with the sole outlet they have available, the AC they're doomed to pilot. It isn't just a weapon and a lifeline, it's a canvas which Raven uses to design (or regain) their personality.

It's my own personal headcanon, but because of the reasoning above I like to imagine that when I get obsesses over ACs working both functionally and aesthetically and spend longer on colour-schemes that weapons, that's reflected in C4-621 spending hours between missions poring over notebooks and sketchpads and colour palettes.

It helps that on Tumblr I've seen so many people interpret their own personal C4-621s in so many different ways that all feel very personal and unique.

#I also like to think Ayre eventually gives input regarding colour schemes #“Needs more red” #and Walter gives far less frequent but far better advice in that regard #armored core 6 #c4 621 #Raven #Handler Walter #headcanon #I'm really really enjoying this game