#i say that but i need to COMMIT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

defness · 3 months

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→ drawing the same pose over and over again and feels cringe

→ realizes that these drawings are simply pre-ref drawings to figure out one's design so I can Draw Them

→ no longer feels cringe

#jic ur wondering why all of them are drawn w that same arms out legs semi open pose #do i obsessively worry about this to an unhealthy degree? yeah #do people not verbally tell me that seeing me draw the same pose over and over again is Boring or Lame or stupid or smth? yes but i get #like. stupidly anxious and start thinking about things like that which i obviously know probably isn't the case and that in actuality #no one cares about how i draw more than i do #but it's still difficult not to ruminate on thoughts of people subconsciously rolling their eyes at my art because its so plain and boring #and static and stiff and it doesnt feel lively and dynamic like the artists i aspire to be like #but then i also remember im only just starting my art journey. by this year I'll only have been drawing for 4 years. 4 YEARS.#which seems like alot honestly? especially w the progress I've made #but most; if not everyone who isn't me have spent 7+ YEARS of drawing and i remind myself that. oh #yeah! im on the same path they were #maybe they had the same issues i did #but ill get through it :) i want to experiment more this year w my art #i say that but i need to COMMIT #i need to commit. to actually put in effort to learn posing and perspective instead of trying to lazily scrawl color on a digital canvas #but it all seems so daunting #but; you know; in time it'll come. seeing the difference only a few months has done to my art is also truly refreshing #it lets me know that im still learning and improving my technique and that really helps iron out any anxieties i have.#sorry this got super rambly super quickly lol

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hinamie · 9 days

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i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now

jjk band!au

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #yuuji #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk band!au #every time i dress sukuna i stray further from gods light. what is that. what did i do why did i do that.#the pants...the mullet mohawk..the tanktop that might as well be Off...am i cooking or committing a cardinal sin who can say #i realized that i probably couldnt give him rings bc the priss wouldnt want to scuff his guitar #which goes directly against my religion that says that any modern au sukuna has to b iced up #that being said the bracelets r probably pushing it but he needed /something/ so he can deal.#but oh my god the guitars like dont get me wrong im thrilled w how they turned out but god i wished for death #looks around accusingly whose idea was this >:c (me it was mine)#anyway i am feeding myself on this au this will not be the last u see of it :)#HARD pivot from emo yoi content oops

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puppyeared · 1 year

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obsessive

#did i put more effort into this than i needed to? yes. did i put myself through unnecessary pain drawing fighting scenes? yes #but i learned how to outline my strokes so maybe i won after all #i thought about it and i think it turned out ok drawing the eyes differently. like the way i usually draw em #although i dont know if that says much since i change my art style every couple weeks but eh #had fun playing with grayscale and limited palette. i want to do that more often dhghdg #although idk whens the next time i will have enough energy to commit to the bit and do.. this #theyre fucking stupid your honor. for every art we get of them acting dramatic and yearning (/pos) i make dumb shit like this #equivalent exchange girlies!#lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk shadowpeach #shadowpeach #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #my art #myart #doodles #comic #lmk monkey king #lmk fanart

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braxiatel · 5 months

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Defiance. That is the sum of every victory in the life game.

From Grian who swore his life to the very same man he killed to win.

From Scott who did not give into the boogey curse and won to avenge his ally in a game about betrayal.

From Pearl who refused the soulmate that was given to her, refused allies in a game where the rules of the world demand you have one.

From Martyn who chose to win even if it meant sacrificing his honour.

To Scar, appointed villain by the universe, who kept trying to make friends. Who was finally given free rein to form alliances and bonds, only to play every group against each other. Who found an ally willing to die for him in the end, only to turn on her the second there was no one but the two of them left.

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lovegrowsart · 3 months

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it's pretty wild to me that people don't see that aang running off to save katara in CoD is his luke in empire strikes back moment, where he runs headlong into his want and attachment and he's narratively punished for doing so and not learning his lesson - aang runs after katara despite guru pathik's warning, like luke runs after leia and han from yoda on dagobah despite yoda's warning; similarly, as a result, things go to hell in ba sing se like they do on bespin - aang enters the avatar state before he's ready and gets killed, and ba sing se falls to the fire nation, luke fights vader before he's ready, loses a hand, and symbolically commits suicide after vader tells him he's luke's father.

the difference between their character arcs is that george lucas and co. actually went thru with luke's hero's journey and understood the fundamental difference between attachment and love, whereas I don't think bryke understood this difference and then dropped this from aang's arc pretty much completely and replaced it with aang digging in his heels into his want and attachment and he gets rewarded with energy bending from a lion turtle, the avatar state from a random pointy rock, and his forever girl from the self-indulgent white men that couldn't bring themselves to give their hero a compelling character arc that meant he might not have gotten everything he wanted at the end.

#the wasted potential of aang's arc gets to me so bad #the narrative and thematic set up is entirely there and they just shove it in the bin lmao #it especially irks as someone raised buddhist and dealing with writers that invoke these themes out of a fascination #with the religion and philosophy but then a complete unwillingess to actually commit to what those themes require of the character arcs #anyway sorry to say it #but zuko's arc does a better job embodying buddhist themes than aang's does in the end #despite all misappropriated aesthetics to the contrary #aang critical #but its really the writing like i LIKE aang i love his potential i hate how self indulgently he's written by the end of the show #atla critical #meta*#holly talks bs #also yes it would've been better narratively for aang katara zuko to the go the way of luke leia han #even if katara couldn't have been revealed as aang's surprise secret twin lmao #the thematic conceit of the triangle is the same in that luke and aang get over their infatuation with the first pretty girl he sees #and becomes the hero he needs to be #meanwhile hanleia and zutara are saving each other and being cool and kissing #anyway

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willowbyte · 6 months

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feeling sad about springbonnie

#willow's art station #fnaf #spring bonnie #five nights at freddy's #do you think they were repulsed by william's actions?#how do you think they would have felt after william used their skin as a tool for hiding and committing his crimes?#a character once meant to bring joy to children now forever tied to a cold blooded murderer. their very own creator #blood dripping from hands that are not yours. you did not do this. you did not want this to happen #but the stained golden faux fur says otherwise #and the vessel. cold and unmoving as always. begins to wonder #where does the man end? and where does the rabbit begin?#was there ever a distinction to begin with?#...#god i Need to be sedated immediatel

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relaxxattack · 7 months

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every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh

OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...

i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.

you know... like every relationship.

like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.

i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?

no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.

*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.

#quadrants #homestuck #moirallegiance #BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #its just i USED to think they were the same #and then recently i kept getting pissy when people said they were the same so i was like. okay let's unpack this #what's the overlap here and what's the differences?#and really people THINK theyre the same because they think theyre both like. 'im gonna platonically marry my friend!' ^w^#(which is obviously not actually what either of them are like. lol)#when REALLY what they have in common is 'hey you're a person i want to have a committed partnership. but potentially not sex or tradition'#and it's not really fair to compare them because they come from totally different places and have totally different standards #QPR was created as an ALTERNATIVE to allonorms. its about saying 'hey lets make up our own rules. my life partner can be platonic if i want #whereas moirallegiance IS a norm and its not counter any culture. it's just 'trolls have biological romantic feelings/needs in This way.'#idk idk how to explain it any further because ive spent a fucking hour on this post and i have a massive headache so feel free to ask me--#more specific questions if the shit i said here doesnt make any sense (；￣ー￣)..#<- wow haha the troll fictive autism really jumped out with this post huh. whoops #hsmeta #long post #op

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anto-pops · 3 months

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Nearing the end of my HL replay and I just gotta say Anne and I are a different breed. If my brother was adamantly searching high and low in crumbling ruins, reading ancient texts, casting Crucio on his besties, and still making house calls while I was cursed and basically dying I would maybe not be such a huge wimp about it

#mind you I'm seeing both sides of things as I type this #I simply Can Not Fathom her outlook on his actions but I also ignore red flags like it's my job #but is being a caring brother a red flag ??? no no decidedly not #don't come for me over this I think Anne is a complex character with her own trauma and what not but we don't get to SEE any of that really #I just get a front row seat to watching her side with her crusty uncle over her (big?) brother #like it's 1890 he won't get caught he just has to be gone after the crime is committed. shut your conscience up and say thanks #I need to lay off the wine my mind wanders too much when I drink and play video games #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #anne sallow #a.txt

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whamss · 19 days

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honestly it’s such a generic trope but i do genuinely love the concept of rose and kanaya flirting a lot with each other prior to dating, but never picking up on each others advances. both as an expansion of their pre-meteor/act 5 dynamic (lots of banter, slight mental warfare, two girls trying to see how long it takes the other to pick up what they’re putting down, flighty broads and their snarky horseshit, yadda yadda) and in the context of their miscommunication on their first date.

rose leaning on kanaya’s shoulder as she reads over a book about quadrants, and rose tells her that’s sooo interesting, she wonders if humans can engage in this stuff, and kanaya shuts her down with a vague Im Sure You Will Find Out Someday. kanaya making rose dozens of outfits, all lovingly designed, adjusting rose’s outfit when she puts it on and telling her that she wishes she could dress her like this all of the time, she’s never had a model quite like her, and rose is just like Well of course, if you ever have anything you’d like me to wear you’re welcome to invite me over. both of them die over these encounters later

something about rose and kanaya being confident enough to flirt w each other but too stupid to fully pick up on the Implications. always trying to tip the scale in their favor to force the others hand, never quite having the strength to outright admit that they like each other (until rose is shitfaced and stumbling). i think it’s a fun means to escalate their early banter as they become more acclimated to each other and develop Feelings.

#talk tag #homestuck #rosemary #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #sorry i’ve been in such a mood #i need more girlfails rosemary that also acknowledges their strengths #notably both their abilities to Commit To The Bit #smth good about them stumbling their way through vague and elaborate flirtations #thinking oh i think she likes me. surely this will woo her #but also never Quite having it in them to say it outright #second guessing themselves a little #turning having a crush into a bit of a game to a win. both coming out losers. but also winners (they still get a gf in the end)#my brain is a jumbled mess as i fight off The Dry Air Made My Throat Sore And My Sinuses Full disease #but rosemary gets me through it

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clown-owo · 9 months

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Guardian of the Eastern Gate and the One Entrusted with a Flaming Sword by God: Principality Aziraphale

#good omens spoilers #gos2spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #goodomensedit #gifs #og post #i can't stop thinking about aziraphale so confident and badass saying “i'm prepared to take defensive measures”#and then just. being so useless #my guy says that and then 10 seconds later is like. well that won't hold forever. whats my plan? that was it.#it didn't even last you thirty goddamned seconds aziraphale???#what were the candles for? nothing. to look threatening i guess #shout out to nina for being like. hey. what the fuck man #but still having the kindness to go. well obviously we won't throw fiction #king couldn't hold off more than 10 lowest level demons on his own without committing a war crime #needed humans to come up with plans for him #anyway. this is my first time making a gifset #sorry if it sucks. i don't know what the standards are for gifsets. i followed a tutorial #and reused the same color adjustments for every gif <- lazy

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feroluce · 7 days

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So I'm well aware this is probably a case of "it isn't that deep" but I love looking at all the fiddly little accessories and bits and bobs of Hoyo designs and trying to justify them. Sampo's is particularly funny, because. What even is all that dkkxjdkd

His outfit has so many straps wrapped around him, like they're restraining or holding something in to keep it from bursting at the seams, and not all of them look like they're even connected to anything! But I'd like to think they are useful in certain situations, like if Sampo takes a hit out in the Fragmentum from one of the monsters.

He's hurt, his arm is bleeding, but he is ALMOST done, he just needs a couple more things to fulfill his quota to Natasha and he doesn't want to turn around and go back now. So Sampo frees a strap from his shirt, winds it around his arm above the cut, pulls it tight with his free hand and his teeth. He'll treat it properly in a minute, once he's done scavenging.

There's also the strange chains that resemble snake spines. Given how they're way longer in his splash art and the way they wind around-

I'd like to think they can extend somehow, and Sampo can use them to scale heights. Firefly clocks him as a covert fighter without even being within 20 feet of him, so it would make sense for Sampo to have ways to get around that don't involve usual/obvious methods, like stairs. Think assassin skill sets.

He's also the only one known to be able to get between the Underground and the overworld, and while he's pretty tight-lipped about his method, having some sort of device to help traverse vertical heights is probably insanely helpful there.

And the little metal ornaments across the backs of his wrists! You can see it a bit better in his reference sheet (everyone say thanks @/dragaliareferencearchive!) as opposed to his splash art-

they aren't flat, they stick up a bit off his arms. And so I wonder if Gepard has ever gone to arrest Sampo, and found that they interfere with his handcuffs haha

The ornaments don't match, the one on his right wrist is actually shorter and doesn't extend down to the back of his hand. Which probably doesn't make it nearly as annoying for handcuffs as the left one, but it would make sense for Sampo to have them like that, since he seems to be right-handed! I think a certain proficiency in being ambidextrous is necessary to dual wield daggers like he does, but. Sampo uses his right hand to

hold his blade in his splash art

throw his blade in his skill

play/show off with his dagger in his idle

lob smoke bombs in his technique

cross over his heart when he bows

and to flip his bangs during the cutscene where he saves the trailblazers from Bronya

So a shorter guard on his right hand would help him keep his wrist's flexibility to be able to do all that unimpeded (loving the thought now that Sampo is naturally right-handed and still better with it, but he practiced constantly with his left until he could do things passably ambidextrous).

I also love them because I wonder if they're in the perfect place to help block a hit, along with the chain wrapped around his left forearm.

Like I love the image of a hired killer soundlessly sneaking up behind Sampo in some shady dark alley, knife sloooooowly raising, and then all at once, they strike!

And instead of feeling the blade sink into his back, they get the unpleasant resonating of metal-on-metal shivering up their arm and rattling their bones, because Sampo has turned around at the last second and raised his crossed his arms to let the knife glance off the guards on his wrists.

And the mercenary is left to realize that oh, they are fucked.

#sampo koski #hsr sampo #hsr sampo koski #hsr #honkai star rail #now that I think about it is there literally ANYTHING in canon that says Gepard carries handcuffs or do we all just need to be bonked skzjm #things I lay awake thinking about at 3 AM ☆#I would actually love to see Sampo use those guards to block a blow from Gepard because hhhhhh #gepo fight scene! gepo fight scene!#Gepard trying to bring Sampo down only to get held off at the last second #adrenaline pumping breath quick faces close together eyes wild and bright breathing right in each other's space #ahem #anyway #but I can't see them like REALLY fighting because Sampo mostly just commits fraud and theft and I don't think Gepard would resort to-#-violence over that. Geppie is a good boy he probably wouldn't get violent with Sampo unless Sampo was putting other people in danger.#looking at his splash art this closely also gave me a really funny revelation which I'll maybe post tomorrow #Sampo is such a little shit I love him NSMKDNDMD

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lollytea · 7 months

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Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it

#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first #i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale #he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably #i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy #he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything #no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore #would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately #who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it #its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for #i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while #shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses #once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense #so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too #but also. she scawwed.#when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED #he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now #he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance #anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop #Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little #but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world #i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge #even if she wants to. she badly wants to #but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are''#he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore #Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself #shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone #hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants #because god knows HE knows what he wants #they make me so insane

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stuffeddeer · 9 months

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small insinuation of self harm

Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))

Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...

He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.

But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.

Oh.

He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting — feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.

"Are you alright?"

A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.

Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and love— and like you.

You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.

It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.

Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.

You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.

How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."

Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?

"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anything— saying anything you aren't ready for yet."

Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.

Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.

You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.

Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.

"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.

He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.

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itsnotpickle · 4 months

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Rain World co-op with trigun skins mixed with the inherent cruelty of the game leads to interesting parallels that I do not even wanna begin to explain (except i do) Catmi's art of the event :)

Details and alt below-

Was playing Rain World with Catmi a couple days ago using the Vash and Wolfwood skins respectively and while going down the depths dude fell and died and I carried his body the rest of the way

What makes it worse is it was a completely avoidable death sooo close to the end and while swimming through the void sea it made me ditch the body (because co-op doesn't allow two players to ascend - even if dead) AND ONLY THEN at the end do I find out what I'm going towards (ascension - essentially killing myself)

The parallels... The horrors..... also alt version without ww :(

#rain world #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #crossover #my art #vash the slugpede and nicholas slugwood <3 #was losing it and when i say losing it i mean about to commit atrocities never before seen by man #catmi kept me in the dark the whole time #bro needs to sleep with one eye open

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sciderman · 3 months

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You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting.#Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project.#peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance.#me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away.#take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me.#sci speaks #I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.#all my relationships have been. pretty short.#and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t.#a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak.#but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing.#because I really don’t know.#I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days.#I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely.#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.#and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it.#it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything.#I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless.#but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no

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