#i tag a lot cuz idk how to shut the fuck up

[gh0uist]

Had to unfollow one of my favorite dykes because they are also my least favorite dyke

#theghouistpublicdiary #they are just always bitchomg about when women are stereotypical #woman are allowed to be dumb like damn #theyre allowed to be dumb and like pink and BE stupid. shut the fuck up #they aren't setting feminism back. youre just mad that you experience misogyny. it's not theyre fault you experience it #id actually get into a fist fight about this #i nearly died because of the pressure to be intelligent to have real worth in a “womans” body #so ill fucking fight for a women to be respected even if she does silly stupid things #let women have fun without worrying about how men will treat them or other women because of them #or we can fight idk i have a lot rage to work out anyway #these tags are so filled with typos cuz it gets me so heated

[nerves-nebula]

So here’s the thinggg I can’t talk to her cuz I would inevitably end up hurting her. This isn’t anxiety it’s just true. There’s no good way for this conversation to end.

And I can’t hurt myself because she’s managed to convince me that hurting myself also hurts her.

But not hurting myself leads to a third, potentially worse option, which is to just not talk and not cut. And without either it’s like. Like being poisoned. Like my emotional organs are shutting down because I can’t get anything out.

I was doing kind of good at not shutting down, I guess I was kind of doing good with the sexual trauma too before all this. Now it’s back to square one, possibly worse. Idk. At least when I was 13 I just assumed I would never have sex and was kind of ok with that. This has fucked me up, made it more real. Who can say, who can say!

You caught me and it’s my fault because I wanted to be caught and it’s my fault because of a lot of reasons. And I’m angry but I know it’s my fault. I know it is you don’t have to soften the blow or take any responsibility we both know it’s me.

And I know talking will make things worse, I know it will, I know this is unsustainable, but I’d like to keep things the same as long as possible. As long as possible. I need to be able to leave if that’s what has to happen, but I’m not self sufficient. I’m weak. As long as possible, like stasis!

Oh but I’m sooo tired. I don’t want to keep going. I wish I had found you? I wish you were real? I wish my head was more in this reality. One foot in the grave, one foot, and I’m desperate to just fall in. At least it would be mine and only mine. Won’t have to share my grave with anyone. Maybe next time. Next time, maybe! Next time. I don’t even believe in reincarnation, it’s a nice thought though.

Really earning the rambling tag tonight!

Apologies to the person who paid me to work on the next pages faster, I’m still doing that obviously but I’ve stayed up past 5 AM tonight so I probably won’t finish it tomorrow the way I’d planned. I’ll still try, tho. I hate to feel indebted and I love how much you guys like my work.

#nnstuff #rambling #self harm tw #vent

[gimmethatagustd]

17, 18, 26 please!

OOO YOU ASKING THE DEEP STUFF. this is gonna be long, i apologize.

Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

well, i have SO MANY WIPs lol but since this question asks about lore, i'll talk a little bit about what i have so far for my upcoming series "aftercare" (if you don't know it, check out this post). "aftercare" is gonna require A LOT of worldbuilding, but i bet a lot of what i'm planning won't explicitly come through in the fic itself. it's mostly for me to conceptualize the world to prevent plot holes and shit like that

i was actually considering a post dedicated to "aftercare" lore once i start the series, but idk if that's too geeky to do lol. i'd include some info about all the different supernatural creatures in the world, the most important being Humans, Seers, and Witches. there's structural stuff, like where humans and seers live is called "the mainland" and where witches and other creatures that are considered evil (demons, vampires, werewolves) live in "beyond". and how are soul's marks bestowed? i have an entire plan for how seers are qualified to bestow soul's marks and the oath they take that prevents them from lying about people's soulmates, etc. like i wanna make the entire thing feel very clinical, as if going to find your soulmate is treated almost like healthcare. idk it's hard to explain without giving anything away!!

then there's all the stuff about soulmates. like what happens when soulmates are in poly relationships? or if your soulmate dies before you find out they're your soulmate? what if they die after you've found each other? and then there's a whole section in my notes about "tainted marks" which are a secret you will learn about if you read the series in 2023 👀

Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

something from TFM 4 since i just posted it:

the city TFM takes place in is basically chicago just cuz there's where i live lollll and it's the biggest city i've ever lived in. i've always been compelled by big cities and how so many people can all coexist together, so cramped, and how we interact with people, cross paths with them without ever really knowing their full story. i wanted to use that to paint yoongi as this introverted, introspective person who thinks deeply about others and has this almost fantastical, romanticized idea of destiny, of people randomly finding each other in the wide universe

if you read the rest of the chapter, you'll see how that theme plays out 😌

How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

lmfaooo i never get out. actually, it's more like my characters are in my head and i can't make them shut up. but i think 2 ways i love getting a feel for my characters is through music (so finding them a theme song or making a playlist of songs they'd like or remind me of them) and through memes hjkdfs like i fucking love collecting memes, character inspiration, other photos/concepts that remind me of characters. for example these inspo tags: himbo tae / ohts tae / tfm yoongi

ask me some weird writer questions 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

#jai asks #ask game #tfm #aftercare #Anonymous

[seek--rest]

Dude if u hate irondad and u think its imaginary and dumb, which u have ur right to outgrow it and hate it, at least do us a favor and stay out of the tag.

I write mj and ned in my fics and whatnot cuz i do understand the point that erasing them is poor writing and definitely can be interpreted as racist...

but if you cant critically consume media without also ruining it for other people and making claims about who they are as people when trying to make your point (no matter how valid), then u should just keep ur damn mouth shut for people who actually know how to consume and critique media without being an asshole about it.

Feel free to stay in the tag when you learn how to do a valid criticism without being a fucking jerk to people who are still learning.

Signed, a media studies and art graduate

Kidding, there’s a lot to unpack here.

It’s so interesting to me that you’d think that I’ve either outgrown or hate IronDad, considering the amount and how recently I’ve written IronDad. Much less this idea that because I’m criticizing IronDad as a fandom-- not even specific people but rather normative trends-- that you’d have the arrogance to believe that my voice doesn’t matter solely because it’s not “positive.” (Or even make the argument that fandom racism and any POC calling it out is somehow the asshole who doesn't understand checks notes critical media consumption...?)

Cause newsflash, erasing them from the narrative isn’t just interpreted to be racist. It is. Especially when taking IronDad as a fandom overall and how viciously it treats all POC. Ned and MJ just barely TOUCH at the racism (and sexism) rampant.

The absolute caucasity to bring up the critical consumption of media, arguing that I don’t understand it, in defense of a fandom that’s not only the platonic version of two white dudes, is mostly made up of white women, in a post speaking about fandom racism, to the point where you are more worried about people getting their feelings hurt about being called racist than idk… listening to POC in discussing racism within said fandom. Cause let’s be clear, canon is bad but fandom treats the POC within Peter AND Tony’s narrative EVEN WORSE. If you’re seriously equating these are equals, much less actually arguing that fandom is a media and not just that, FAN driven, you may want to go back to storytelling 101.

What a take. Not a good one, but a take nonetheless.

Especially since you clearly seem to write Ned and MJ in fics because you recognize how harmful their erasure is. If the first thought you have in seeing racism being called out is to defend people to continue being racist under the guise of “learning”, a weak excuse at any point but ESPECIALLY after the last year when white learned racism existed, that sounds like a you problem.

Not to mention the audacity to argue with your whole chest that I should just continue to stay silent for the sake of white tears or argue about my tone, something that as a media and film graduate, you’d think you’d have a better understanding of tone policing, communication, and representation.

Sorry white people are just now learning racism exists. I won’t continue to allow myself to be shut out of a fandom or a media property that I actually fucking enjoy just because how I talk about the actual problems that MAKE said media and fandom difficult to enjoy isn’t “nice” enough for some random white person on the internet. You don’t get to decide how IronDad is constructed anymore than I do and I’m sick of this assumption that we all should sit down and take it, lest we risk hurt feelings.

Maybe you should consider how it feels to not be white and see even HALF the shit within the tag.

Signed,

An IronDad fan since 2019 who, frankly, is sick of IronDad fandom’s shit.

#seek speaks #if you thought i was bitey before. #fandom racism #this is the shit that makes people leave fandom fyi #POC specifically #imagine graduating with a media degree and arguing that critiquing racism in fandom is failing to understand how to critically consume #might need a refund my dude #irondad

[fandomn00blr]

OC Questionnaire

@cleverblackcat tagged me into this one a few days ago, and I started filling it out for Delilah Howe (not an OC...an adopted NPC!) and I am still working on it for her. But then @funkypoacher tagged me, and gave me specific permission to do it for *my* versions of Carver or Stroud...lol...

So anyway, here’s Stroud, everyone’s Warden Dad(...dy...? jk jk...unless?)

THE BASICS

Character’s name: Jean-Marc Stroud

Role in story: He’s your dad now...unless you’re Loghain and then he’s your infuriating boyfriend/husband whom you are absolutely smitten with...also, Warden-Commander of the Eastern Wardens after Dragon Age Awakening

Physical description: I feel a bit guilty constantly objectifying this poor man and his mustache, but he is just...*chef’s kiss* (Loghain’s POV, but also mine):

Stroud’s quite fit for a man his age, an unmistakably sturdy V-shaped torso atop well-muscled legs, with broad shoulders and strong, defined arms. He’s never quite realized just how chiseled and square his jaw is, either. And as his eyes rove over his face, he tries not to stare too longingly at his lips, which he’s already been acquainted with, though it feels like it’s been ages since that cave-in, and he certainly wouldn’t mind getting re-acquainted. With any part of him, really.

(LOGHAIN! STOP BEING SO HORNY FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOU GRUMPY OLD BASTARD!)

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type: IDK

INTERNAL LIFE

What is their greatest fear? Probably disappointing anyone who is depending on him for safety/protection/reassurance

Inner motivation: Is ‘just wants everyone to feel safe’ an inner motivation? No. Shoot. STROUD WHAT MOTIVATES YOU?! Oh, I know...the fact that he lost everyone and everything he cared about to the Game and instead of going on a fucking rampage, he internalized it and joined the Wardens so that their deaths wouldn’t have been a total waste. What’s that called?

Kryptonite: If one of his Warden ‘kids’ is hurting, it hurts him...doubly so if he can’t do anything about it.

What is their misbelief about the world? Ok, so this is a tough one. Dude has been through all of it, and still believes in the power of kindness and duty and compassion, but not in a naive way. He chooses it, right? So I wouldn’t call it a misbelief, but he genuinely believes everyone is capable of choosing good, or trying to do better, or whatever. Shut up. I’m not crying, I swear.

Lesson they need to learn: You can’t save ‘em all (he still has regrets about what happened with Anders and Justice).

What is the best thing in their life? His little Eastern Warden family...Vigil’s Keep comes to feel like home to him.

What is the worst thing in their life? The thought of ever having to deal with Orlesian politics again...which is why he’s so grumpy in Inquisition.

What do they most often look down on people for? He has very little patience for people who manipulate others for their own personal gain.

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive? Seeing his Wardens thrive/come into their own/embrace duty/grow/find love...I SAID I WASN’T CRYING!

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way? Stroud doesn’t need a lot of personal reassurance to know that people care about him and that he serves a purpose...but if someone goes out of their way to do something just for him, he absolutely falls apart. Loghain making an Orlesian-inspired dish for his birthday was the last thing I wrote of this variety, but I imagine that Loghain does a lot of stuff like that just to see Stroud’s cheerful stoicism obliterated...and also because he loves him.

Top three things they value most in life? Helping others/compassion, his found family, and his duty as a Warden (but not in, like, a stupid way...)

EXTERNAL LIFE

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with? He keeps a portrait of his family tucked away among his things...the only item he brought with him from his former life when Clarel recruited him to the Wardens.

Describe a typical outfit from top to bottom. Heavy silverite Warden armor while out on missions, over a dark blue quilted tunic with a silver embroidered griffon and leggings (?). All very official. Off-duty, he wears simple undyed cotton or wool tunics (they’re probably fitted well) and woolen breeches (also fitted...um...well...*fans self*). It’s hot. <- Loghain, again?! Yeesh...

What is their method of manipulation? He’s not big on manipulation (see above), but he knows how to get what he wants from Loghain by wiggling his mustache and just...staring at him...all twinkly-eyed. Maybe chuckling good-naturedly if he wants to bring out the big guns.

Describe their daily routine. (Whoops...I missed this one, I guess!) Wake up early. Breakfast and paperwork in his office. Meetings, etc later in the morning. Then lunch with Loghain somewhere outside, weather permitting. Meetings/more paperwork/drills and training in the afternoon. Dinner with everyone in the dining hall at the end of the day. Quiet evenings. Then bed!

Their go-to cure for a bad day? Feet up in front of a fire...some tea? Maybe with a bit of whiskey in it. And something sweet to munch on like cookies. Bonus if Loghain is there with his little shawl, reading or complaining to him, preferably both...

GOALS

How are they dissatisfied with their life? He still harbors a lot of anger and resentment toward the Game (I mean...), but he’s actually pretty satisfied with his life as a Warden.

What would bring them true happiness or contentment? This is the most selfless thing ever, but he would love to see Loghain and Anora reconciled.

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality? He would never, but he totally could invite Anora to dinner at Vigil’s Keep or something and pretend it was Loghain’s idea...lol. OMG...AU where Stroud is the meddling spouse...!!!

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already? Not so much fear as it is just respect for personal boundaries or whatever...

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of? He hopes Loghain will eventually reach out to his daughter himself, or Anora will force her way back into her father’s life. During Inquisition, Loghain and Alistair (who is King and married to Anora in this world state) have a bit of a scuffle, then manage to get over their shit (sort of), so Stroud has some hope that they’ll all figure it out eventually. He just won’t be there to see it cuz he stays in the Fade, the self-sacrificing bastard.

#dragon age #character questionnaire #it's a good thing yall keep tagging me in this stuff cuz i sure can't write #stroud #jean-marc stroud #best warden #best dad #best husband #best #loghain #stroghainoff #chokedamp and feelings #also in #warden hawke #together into the abyss #kieran #omg they're in like every fic I've written this past year

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

#m:text #tg

[normal-thoughts-official]

Conversations You Can Have While Your Partner Ties You Up

Tom and Andy try shibari without supervision for the first time, and Andy is nervous.

Tom uses his best soothing technique: running his mouth.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationship: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional Tags: Humor, Crack, Fluff and Crack, not smut!, not that there's anything wrong with that i just want to be clear, so no one's disappointed lmao, it's just the two of them bantering while andy ties him up, Tom Sato Has Strong Feelings About Yogi, Established Relationship, BDSM, Good BDSM Etiquette, because apparently bad bdsm etiquette is a tag and fuck that noise, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, altho again we don't really get into that but idk best to tag, way too many puns, they are very in love and it's disgusting, i am on my bullshit again, Almost No Beta We Die Like Uhh Bigender People

Read it on Ao3

It's the first time they're trying out shibari without an instructor supervising, and Andy is nervous. Tom can tell that Andy is nervous because his eyes keep darting to the safety shears way too frequently, and also because he whispered "God, I'm nervous" to himself several times while he was setting the gear.

Tom prides himself greatly in his Andy-reading skills.

Andy barely breathed while he was setting up the sleeve, making sure every single strand of rope was several inches away from the smallest articulation, checking and rechecking that he could put two fingers under the rope, and asking whether or not it was too tight every five seconds. All while holding his breath. Tom was scared he'd pass out from oxygen deprivation or something.

Getting to the harness part was a little better. For about ten seconds. The knots there are mostly decorative, but wouldn't you know, turns out Andy's perfectionist streak decided to kick in right then.

He's redoing the same knot for the third time when he starts to mumble. "Ancient Japanese art of being a pain in my ass..."

Ah yes, Tom thought to himself, grinning. A prime opportunity. "I thought it was you who was supposed to be the pain in my ass," he says.

Andy groans.

"Oh, come on, it was right there!"

"I realized my mistake as soon as it left my mouth"

"Me when you suddenly stop fucking my face."

Andy snickers, and Tom considers it a win. "Shut up," he says.

"Yes, dud- Sir."

"Were you about to make a BDSM joke and call me dude?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. Shut up!" Tom laughs, "In my defense, the horny and clown signals have been getting a little mixed up the last, like, five seconds."

"Why did that make me imagine you in a sexy clown outfit?"

"I'm just gonna go ahead and veto that idea right now."

"What, you don't want to explore clown kink?" Andy puts on his best Dom voice, "Honk for me, slut." He starts giggling.

"Andy, I swear to god, my dick's gonna go soft."

"Don't you dare!" Andy yelps, "I've been training for months to be able to tie you up like this and I will fuck you in Shibari, god damn it!"

"Yeah, no, nevermind, you're really hot when you're determined."

Andy smiles, "Oh, stop. Is that too tight?"

Tom tries to give him a thumbs up, then remembers that he can't and shakes his head instead. "No, it's good."

Andy nods in acknowledgement, then grins at Tom again. "Cool, so… Back to sexy clowns?"

"No clowns are sexy. They're terrifying."

"You willingly went into a haunted town."

"Yeah, and you know how many clowns there were there? Zero."

"So that's the criteria for our sexy costumes? Is, like, sexy zombie bear still on the table then?"

"I'm gonna ask you to take a moment to consider the words that are coming out of your mouth."

"I've never done that in my life and I'm not going to start now." Andy says, casually, then frowns. "Can you help me with this one?"

"Heh," Tom smiles, "sorry dude, my hands are tied."

Andy groans. "Will you stop making puns, you ass?"

"Heh, ass-"

Andy ignores him. "I meant, lift your hip a little bit."

"Aye aye, captain."

"This is virtually the same as 'yes, Sir', yet so different."

"Ooh, do I smell pirate roleplay?"

"You know what? We could get those old hats we used when we were kids-"

"Do you know where to get a sword? I very much want swords."

"Ooh, knife play but long."

"I need to make a swordplay pun right now."

Andy gives a little laugh. "Do you?"

"I'm just not inspired enough. Guess I gotta get better with my wordplay..."

This time, Andy full-on laughs. He needs to stop focusing on his knots for a second. Tom's grin is way too proud.

Andy bites his lip. "Come on, this is gonna take forever at this rate. Help me out for a sec."

"Sorry, my hands are-"

"Okay, if you make that pun one more time, I'm not letting you cum at all tonight."

"You promise?"

"Ugh. Punishing you is so hard. Let me rephrase that. If you make that pun one more time, I am letting you come tonight, just once, and then calling it a day, like this is vanilla sex or something."

Tom gasps. "Evil."

"Or maybe I'll make you say that Yogi is not that bad."

"You'll never take me alive."

Andy gestures to Tom's immobilized body, smiling. "Pretty sure I already have you."

"Oh no, I had the instinct to say something incredibly sappy and disgusting."

"Were you going to answer 'always'?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny."

"Well, that's a shame. 'Cause if that had been the case, I'd have said, 'same'."

Tom pretends to swoon as best as he can, considering he's almost completely immobilized. It mostly consists of tilting his head. "And they say romance is dead."

"You gave me finger guns when I first said 'I love you'."

"And you think I should be the standard?"

"Well, who else is it gonna be? Me? When you first said 'I love you', I said 'sweet'."

Tom smiles, softly. "It was pretty sweet, if you ask me."

Andy bites the inside of his cheek. "Shut up. I'm almost done, by the way."

"Nice."

"Not thanks to you."

"Okay, look, I know I'm not supposed to say that my hands are tied anymore, but in this case it's just, like, literally true."

"Doesn't mean you have to keep distracting me."

"Ooh, I'm distracting?" Tom wiggles his eyebrows, lifting his hips up a bit.

Andy laughs. "You know that, in this case, you're getting in the way of us having sex, right?"

"I don't know, man. I'm tied up, my dick is hard, you're touching me, you're smiling, that's a win in my book."

"You're only partially tied up, which is exactly my point."

Tom makes his best impression of Akon in I Just Had Sex, "Still counts!"

Andy snorts, but tries to compose himself. "So, what, once I'm done with this I can just leave you tied up and call it a day?"

"I mean, that'd be hot, yeah."

"Ugh, you're impossible."

"You love me."

"Don't change the subject."

Tom grins. "So you admit that you love me."

"I'm your boyfriend of three years."

"Don't change the subject."

It's Andy's turn to grin. "Of course I love you, you dork. Now shut up so I can finish tying you up."

"Aww, I love you too."

"Thanks, man."

"I'm sorry, did you just say 'thanks, man'?"

"Well, my hands are busy, so I can't finger gun."

"Will you let it go?"

"Very funny thing to say while I'm tying knots around your dick."

"Ah, you're right. In that case, tie me up harder."

"How am I supposed to tie you up harder?"

"I don't know, I just think it sounds sexier when you add a 'harder' at the end."

"Like, 'honk harder, clown'?"

"Now you're just trying to upset me."

Andy smiles at him, slyly. "Maybe I think you need a little punishment."

Tom grins in a way that makes Andy regret everything he's ever said. "Aww yeah, baby, I better start singing La La La, 'cuz I've been a Naughty Boy."

Andy can't help it. He bursts out laughing. "You dork!" He wheezes, face falling on top of Tom's shoulder as he laughs. Tom grins.

"See, that's the Andy I know and love, laughing at every stupid shit I say."

Andy giggles for a few more seconds, holding onto Tom's shoulders, before shaking his head to try and focus. He still lets out a little laugh every once in a while, though. "I swear, it's like you don't want me to fuck you in shibari," he grumbles.

Tom looks appalled. "This is slander."

"Then, like, get into ropespace and stop talking or something."

"I can't get into ropespace when I know you aren't, either," Tom grumbles.

Andy freezes. "What?"

Tom bites the inside of his lip, turning in the other direction. "You were nervous," he says. Then he nods in the direction of Andy's hands, "you've been a lot calmer since we started talking. You're almost done."

Andy looks down, actually realizing that Tom's torso is almost entirely decorated with knots at this point. "Oh. You're right."

Tom grins again. "So, see, by distracting you with my dumb shit, I actually helped us finish this quicker. And they say running your mouth isn't a talent."

Andy smiles. Lets the rope go. Throws his arms around Tom's neck and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, love," he says, peppering kisses in his face. Tom laughs.

"You're welcome. Now finish tying me up so we can get this show on the road," he says, way too innocently. Andy grins, and pulls his hair.

"You're in no position to make demands, slut."

Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. He smiles again. "Yes, Sir."

#it lives #it lives in the woods #ilitw #tom sato #andy kang #tom x andy #andy x tom #tomdy #literally when will i stop #crack

[calpalirwin]

Run Your Hands Through My Hair

Request: Could you do Ashton/male reader with longer hair? Like maybe Ashton playing with his hair or something? Idk I’m just in a really fluffy mood lol, ty in advance if you choose to do it <3

Word Count: ~800

And away, and away we go!

__

Ashton’s favorite thing to do while cuddling was running his fingers through his partner’s hair. The repetitive action soothed his own restless tendencies, and knowing that he was the reason for his lover’s stress melting away at every caress made his heart swell with pride. Long, short, wavy, straight, whatever, it didn’t matter. If he could run his fingers through it, he loved it. Problem was, his girlfriends teased him thinking he was only doing it to get it done to him in return, and his boyfriends viewed it as too effeminate for their taste. Which usually meant Ashton got a lot of head scratches himself, which he didn’t mind all that much, he just wished he could return the favor every now and then.

The first time his fingers had scraped against your scalp had been… not accidental, but head scratching had not been the primary focus. Ashton smirked at the way your eyes fluttered shut, tension leaving your body, and a low moan rumbled in your throat. “Mmmm, keep doing that,” you encouraged with a breathy sigh.

Ashton chuckled. “Yeah? You like that?” he taunted, his lips brushing against your ear as his fingers wrapped in your hair and tugged ever so lightly.

The moan in your throat grew in volume. “Feels good… Gonna put me to sleep.”

Ashton gave a sharper tug, making you gasp, your eyes flying open. “You better not fall asleep on me.”

Your eye roll earned you another sharp tug. Your gasp turned into a growl as you responded by wrapping your fingers around his throat, applying just the right amount of pressure that made his jaw go slack. “Watch who you’re domming here, sweetheart. You’re in control because I allow it.”

The ensuing power struggle that left you both breathless and satisfied, found you the same way it always found you: wrapped up in each other. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, kissing the marks you had left behind, before tucking your head under his chin. Much like earlier, his fingers that had been scratching at the spot between your shoulder blades, traced upwards into your hair. And again, you let out a throaty sigh of content. “Oh, you weren't kidding,” Ashton commented, as your hair slipped through his fingers.

“Nope,” you murmured, your head tilting to follow his movements, your voice already growing heavy with sleep.

“You really like this?” he asked, still not fully convinced.

You nodded, your breathing starting to even out in that way he knew that you were already beginning to doze off. “Helps me relax. Sleep better.”

“You know if you grow your hair out, I’d have more to play with,” he whispered.

“Good idea,” you yawned. “But, keep doing it anyway. Please? So tired...”

Ashton chuckled, a kiss finding a place on top of your head. “Shh, I gotcha, love.” The repetitive motion of his hand in your hair lulled you both into a deep, peaceful sleep.

After that, it wasn’t uncommon for you to seek him out to lay your head in his lap. And it never mattered what Ashton was doing when it happened. Even if he wasn’t sitting down already, he’d let you lead him to the couch so you could lay down in his lap. Sometimes you would talk about what was stressing you out. Others he would relay his own stresses to you. And other times still, you’d both savor the silence around you, as the simple action quieted the loudness within you.

It was the first thing you missed when he left for tour. And it wasn’t until he came home that you became fully aware of how much the seemingly small gesture meant to him as well.

You were on your feet the second you heard the door open, and in his arms before his bag hit the floor. “Fuck, I’ve missed you!” you cried into his neck.

“I’ve missed you too, love,” Ashton murmured in response, his hand going up to free your hair of the confines of the black hair tie. “You shouldn’t have stayed up for me though.”

“You’re the one starting shit,” you teased, snapping the hair tie now around his wrist.

“I’m not starting shit,” he protested. “I happen to like playing with your hair.”

You pulled back to give him a perplexed look. “You do?”

“Yeah. Why do you think I always stop what I’m doing when you want me to play with your hair?”

You shrugged. “Cuz you’re incredibly giving?”

Ashton giggled. “Flattery will get you everywhere, love. But rest assured, there are selfish reasons behind it as well. It relaxes me too. Gives me something to do with my hands.”

“Is that why you wanted me to grow out my hair? So you have more to run your fingers through?”

“Mhm. See, more selfish than you think I am.”

It was your turn to giggle. “Of all the words I could use to describe you, ‘selfish’ wouldn’t be one of them, sweetheart.”

“Mmm, well let’s say we head on up to bed where I can keep playing with your hair for both selfish and unselfish reasons.”

“You say the sexiest things to me, sweetheart,” you grinned, kissing his lips. “Fuck, I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Me too, love. Me too.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996​ @creator-appreciator​ @philthepegacorn​ @myfavfanficsever​ @cxddlyash​ @youngblood199456​ @stormrider505​ @tarltongrl96​

#run your hands through my hair #ashton irwin #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin x male reader #5sos #calpal irwin

[frogb]

HI UH... i was tagged by @faceless-dude and @dannydouni AND LIKE GIRL.... y’all are way too sweet🥺🥺🥺 thank u so much..,,,...,

the rules: tag five or more people that you are thankful for in your 2020, that you’re thankful exists in a world that’s hard to live in. whether that be through random reblogs on your posts, or people you have had full blown conversations with. whether it’s just seeing them on your dash, or interacting with them.

@dannydouni is first ofc :] YOURE THE SWEETEST!!! you’re always so kind and caring and you go out of your way to make people feel loved and cared for,,,, and you’re just generally amazing!!! you need to be kinder to yourself because even if you don’t see it you’re one of the most wonderful people out there. i’m super lucky to be friends with u and i hope we can see each other again soon <3 ilysm!!!

@adhdyuuji hiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!! i’m really really glad i got tumblr bcuz it gave me the chance to meet u and become friends with you!! you’re so sweet and kind and funny and a lot of fun to talk to!! i’m really glad we’re friends :)) and i wanna talk with u more but sometimes it’s hard cuz of my anxiety 😢 so i’m sorry!! but i’ll try my best to talk more!!! ilyyyy

@catboyyouko HI <3 u r epic. i love u :)) youre always so much fun to talk to and i love getting messages from u they make me happy!!! i’m rly glad that we’re friends and that we started talking n stuff,, thank u!!! i always love seeing your art it looks so professional!!!! i hope one day i’ll be as good at drawing as you kshdkdshs nyways ilysm!!!

@starrynarwhale hello :]!!!! you’re very sweet and wholesome and i rly like talking with u <3 sorry i keep forgetting to download idv btw 😢 we’ll see if i remember today lmao, anyways!! you’re rly cool!!!! and fun to talk to!! and i’m really happy that we’re friends :) i wanna talk to u more but. anxiety </3 so we’ll see if i can get over it and talk to u more lmaoo (ALSO. i’m gonna try n make something for frog gon friday this week so😼) and lastly, ilyyyy!!

@quellfy HIIIIIII you’re unbelievably sweet and kind!!!!! thank u so much for being my friend and just being amazing in general <3 you’re very good at helping people and making them feel better and i admire u for that :)) ALSO ur art is so cute... omg...and finally i’m really happy that we’re friends!!! i love talking to u ilysm 💞

@faceless-dude hiii your art is fucking fantastic!! the amount of details u put in each of your drawings is just <3 yeah. also you’re rly fun to talk to!!! even tho we don’t talk that often i enjoy each of our little convos :) thank u for taking the time to talk to me!! i hope u get that job u wanted <3 gl!!! ily

@kur-upira HI!! ur very sweet n talking to u is lots of fun!! :] i’m glad we got to be friends, ALSO UR ART... IS SO GOOD😢😢 i love ur art so much it’s so nice to look at!!!! idk how you’re that good with watercolour but i can only hope to be that talented one day </3 and i think i’ve missed a few of ur drawings so get ready for a like/rb spam 😼 ilysm!!!

@honoraryredditdudebro helloooooo ily!!!! you’re rly funny and i wanna talk to u more but. anxiety😒 so uhhhhhh yeah,, sorry lmao,, but yeah ur rly nice!!!! i like talking to u it’s fun :]

@sakura-kitten HII!! we haven’t talked much but you’re so sweet 🥺🥺🥺 and nice,, i love seeing ur doodles they r so so cute <3 if u ever wanna talk pls just dm me!!! i’d love to talk more :]

i know i tagged more than 5 people shut up. i can do what i want🙄 ANYWAYS I LOVE EACH OF U SM <3 if i forgot anyone i promise it’s not because i hate u it’s because i’m very tired i just woke up😔

#DONE... i think i got tagged in another ask game but i have no clue what i’m supposed to do </3 #tag game** not ask game wtf😭 see what i mean i’m so tired rn </3 girl #long post

[bigskydreaming]

You’re a disgusting, abuse-survivor-shaming cunt. I hope you choke, I truly do.

So I get way more of these kinds of messages than I could possibly ever count. Have been for years. I don’t generally reply to them the way I mock some other hate messages I can at least have fun with, because like, what’s there to say about this kinda thing, y’know?

I don’t know how to get people to understand that there is NOTHING hypothetical about my anger about the things in fandom I get angry about. My rants about dark fic are PERSONAL, they have NOTHING to do with some arbitrary moral superiority stance. I don’t make assumptions as to others’ survivor status or motivations for writing various things because I don’t HAVE to, my anger and frustration are with the OUTPUT, not the inciting reasons. 

My hostility towards fandom comes directly from the hostility fandom shows me every time people try to convince me that I have no reason to have the reactions I do to the way they interact with the extremely combustible topics that define my own trauma and that of others. And the fact that fandom at large has decided that the ONLY acceptable reactions from survivors upon seeing others engaging with these sensitive topics in any way they choose, is either to be silent, or to take part in it. 

I don’t have to know which writers of which fics are or aren’t actually survivors attempting coping mechanisms of their own to be fucking furious at the way fandom has literally commodified these traumas, made them exploitable by making the catchphrase “some people write dark fic to cope” all-inclusive, utilized by anyone. With no shame or self-scrutiny as to the fact that YOU at least know if you are or aren’t a survivor, and if you aren’t one, you have ZERO business offering this particular line up as a defense to any survivor taking issue with the ways you embrace particular topics in particular ways.

The only things I have any interest in shaming people for is their choices, the fucking CHOICE to turn on any survivor who dares say “I have issues with this take” and this goes for abuse as much as it does rape. I’ve lost count of the number of authors over the years who HAVE spoken of being rape survivors specifically but then turn around and treat childhood physical abuse as their personal playground, with none of the care they put into crafting rape storylines on display when they casually have male abuse survivors punching each other in every other argument and just citing ‘boys will be boys.’ I can have sympathy for their status and experiences as rape survivors while still being upset at how they simultaneously perpetuate so many of the untruths that make it so hard for abuse survivors to affirm that they have actually been abused rather than call it something that its not, something that they’ve seen writers call it because the writers simply don’t want to inspect the fact that they’ve casually and without awareness written their characters abusing another.

It’s not a zero sum game.

I get angry not because I feel powerless in my own life (I don’t, actually, thanks, I’ve taken actionable steps every single day to fix what’s wrong in my own life and lol that’s power baby), and not because I’m fixated on my own trauma and unwilling to move past it (lol yeah I have no money to spend on anything BUT therapy because I’m committing to the highly specialized and expensive therapy I only arrived at after years of trial and error with other forms because I just don’t want to move past any of this, okay sure).

Nah, I get angry because of the galaxy brain intellects who smarmingly just decide on this view of me for themselves, condescension dripping from every ‘well-meaning’ expression of contempt sympathy, with zero examination of the fact that like.....idk guys, its a little hard to move past my trauma when everyone ELSE seems more fixated on it than I do! LOL, so we’re just gonna skip merrily on by the fact that the only reason its an ISSUE for me in fandom is because its EVERYWHERE in fandom, huh? ‘Mind the tags’ people parrot mindlessly, as though its not like tags HAVE to be created with self-awareness for what people are supposed to mind, or like I haven’t had people literally try to trigger me with tags aimed specifically at getting under my skin as ‘payback’ for something I wrote (out of moral superiority, naturally, not a visceral display of emotion, never that). As though the tags have anything to do with the fact that even outside of Ao3, there are incest-themed shipping weeks every single month of the year, that every major discord server and fic exchange and other fandom wide event demands participants be ‘ship-friendly’ which might as well be code for ‘not friendly to anyone who doesn’t prioritize ships over survivors,’ like fandom hasn’t created a culture in which people are more inclined to be defensive over how people make writers FEEL about stuff they’ve written than they are to be defensive over how certain writing makes various survivors feel.

I’ll never get over how a fandom that universally expressed disdain for Devin Grayson’s disrespectful handling of the sensitive topic of rape has obliviously embraced every form of euphemism under the sun for their own content, and just flat out REFUSES to concede that there is ANY room for criticism in ANY handling of even the most sensitive of topics. Because there’s no sensitivity allowed when it comes to any topic in fandom....unless its the writer’s sensitivity, that must be respected at all costs.

Does that not really strike you as....odd? Aren’t there lines out there about how no society or culture or environment that truly embraces free speech can simultaneously embrace freedom from criticism? And yet time and time again, its anyone who dares criticize - in ANY fashion - the HOW of what someone wrote, not even the WHY, they’re the ones termed authoritarian, censor, the one attempting to SHUT DOWN conversation rather than expand upon it. Tell me, what conversation was THIS anon and similar ilk attempting to invite? Every criticism I write of fandom invites people to engage with it. I fucking BEG people to engage with it. You’re the ones who choose not to. At least not in good faith. Because its only when I refuse to let you move the goalposts from anything other than this being about me reacting to what you wrote, no aim at doing anything other than being a reaction to an action, not an attempt to tell you what to do, just an attempt to get you to tell me WHY, if it really is as defensible as you loftily claim it is - then why is it you just can’t tell me, straight to my face, that it doesn’t matter what negative reaction your writing evokes, you don’t actually have to care? Cuz you don’t, of course. But if you’re that content with your own motivations, your own impact, why so uncomfortable just saying that?

The funny thing is, I truly don’t make any assumptions as to the why of anyone writing dark fic. I have a lot to say about the fact that we all know damn well that at least some of the people offering up the ‘some survivors use dark fic to cope’ aren’t speaking of themselves when they do so, but I have ZERO interest in imagining who that is and why. I’ve spoken of the fact that its willful naivete to assume that even if your own motivations for writing certain content are innocent in your own mind, you can’t assume the same of EVERYONE. That its nothing but willfulness to pretend that actual predators don’t peruse the same content. That the very same factors that make Dick Grayson so appealing to survivors, for example, as a strong heroic character who neverthless has been victimized and violated more than once - the flip side of this coin is this of course makes him EQUALLY appealing to people on the other end of things....a strong heroic character who nevertheless can be victimized and violated more than once.

And yet I honestly, truly have no interest in figuring out who might be whom, when it comes to writers, and I don’t assume everyone who writes or reads certain content in certain ways is in the latter camp. IT DOES ME NO GOOD, to go through life assuming that many people are all potential rapists or inclined to side with my own rapists’ or abusers’ side of things. I CHOOSE to give people the benefit of the doubt there, I assume perhaps they ARE survivors trying in good faith to cope with their own trauma and defensive about hearing that butts up against with other survivors trying to move on in other ways, or that they’re simply people who grew up in fandom being told there is nothing they can write that can be termed wrong, and have trouble with such a deeply held conviction being contested. Or perhaps only got into shipping incest because the ‘fandom elders’ of various fandoms like SPN deliberately and with full intent once upon a time pitched incest as being the same kind of taboo relationship that the same kind of people who forced gay men into secretive relationships were against....that incest ships and closeted gay ships were basically the same, and so as the latter became less of a thing as media showed more open gay relationships, incest ships became more of a thing among fans who were really compelled by the secretive/’society’s against them’ aspect of forbidden love.

I don’t assume any of that on a ONE TO ONE basis with any single writer or reader because I don’t KNOW their personal story and I’m not TRYING to. It makes no difference when I’m not talking about or arguing against the WHY of someone doing a thing, but the HOW. The end result, and the interactions it creates in the environment in which their output is published, shared, celebrated.

All at the expense of any survivor who doesn’t enjoy seeing things they’ve struggled with getting taken seriously about, maybe all their lives....not taken seriously, and offered up as just a themed week on the latest fantasy porn prompt generator. The problem with incest shippers isn’t even just ‘you ship incest, why do you do that,’ its that you can’t seem to manage to do it without assuming anyone who objects is only doing so out of a place of moral superiority. You try and make it a hypothetical argument “well what about when you do this” as opposed to something rooted in the here and now of the personal. We’re not talking about what ifs, we’re talking about what is. Deal with that before you try raising something else, instead of always raising something else so you never have to deal with that. 

The problem is people condescendingly assuming we have ZERO basis for any objection, or any negative reaction at all. Its our own fault, you see, for being too stupid to get that fiction doesn’t affect reality (even though we’ve debunked that time and time again). Its our own fault, you see, for not getting that its not really incest BECAUSE (a claim that is never actually as universal as it tries to pretend to be, and thus is never more than a distraction for the specific argument that prompted it). Its our own fault, you see, for not getting that this isn’t really a big deal, there are bigger problems, and its awfully sad if we’re so fragile and delicate we can’t handle someone enjoying something that has nothing to do with us (even though its never your call whether or not it has anything to do with us, just as its never our call what your specific motivations for writing specific content might be).

The problem is the same thing I’ve been dealing with all my life, and all the more exhausting for it being front and center in fandoms that claim to be escapism and catharsis for survivors....as long as those survivors perform in the manner fandom is comfortable with....aka the manner fandom has exploited and commodified in order to make certain manners of enjoying certain topics possible and defensible for ALL fans, regardless of their own connection to such topics, or motivations surrounding them.

Denial, avoidance, and abdication of responsibility. There’s no problem if YOU don’t see a problem, after all. There can’t be a problem if you just refuse to acknowledge a problem. A problem has nothing to do with you if you simply have nothing to do with it.

And all the while, you continue engaging in the same behaviors that provoke the same reactions that you refuse to ever actually engage with or address, relying on gaslighting to try and sell people and everyone around them that THEY’RE the real problem....its us that have no respect for freedom of speech, creativity or the creative process, other peoples’ traumas, the difference between fantasy and reality, etc etc ad nauseam.

We see people waving away instances of physical abuse with textbook abuse apologism, and we’re told we don’t know what we’re talking about. We see people offering up wording and phrasing in the comment sections of fics that are literally textbook grooming techniques we recognize from our own experiences and we’re told we’re imagining things. We see characters raping others without it being described as rape and we’re told we didn’t mind the tags, even though oddly enough, none of the tags actually said ‘rape’ but rather other euphemisms and if they aren’t in place to tell readers not to expect actual rape in the actual fic, then, what purpose is it they actually serve, again?

But sure.

Talk to me some more about survivor-shaming. 

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so. #*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

[imacrowcawcaw]

Eyes of Juniper Ch. 1 (A Metallica Fic)

Ao3 Link

Author (as known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt) Fandom: Metallica Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit

Notes: 

1. Okay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible).

2. This is a work in progress! I started it a year and a half ago, and now a friend is helping me continue 

3. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.

4. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!

5. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!

----------

1984 (Lars' POV)

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.

I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.

Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!

I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.

Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!

Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?

Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?

Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was.

Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it.

Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.

Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.

I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.

Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.

I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.

Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment.

With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"

"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!

She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life.

I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.

"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.

"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do."

And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.

He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.

"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear, awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?"

Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.

By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"

My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.

I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."

----------

Chapter 2

#metallica #metallica fanfic #fanfic #fic #fanfiction #lars ulrich #kirk hammett #james hetfield #cliff burton #cliff my man #kirky wooi #jlars #kliff #papa het #little lars #babytallica #early metallica #1980s #alternate universe #sex swap #sex swap au #james x lars #kirk x cliff #my writing #lulucrowproductions #fluff #crack #humor #slow burn #alcoholica

[cosmic-goddess-leo]

I was tagged in this self-ship headcanon challenge by @miyuswriting !! Honestly I rarely participate in tag stuff but this seemed fun and I’m bored lmaooo so thanks for the tag, miyu!

rules;; write some hcs about you and your favorite and tag some people!

Leo x Kuroo HCs

This is gonna be a mess, I’ve heard many variations of our ship name: Keo, Leroo, KurooLeo. Idk, take yall’s pick lmaooo

I have 0 athletic ability and dont have much interest in sports unless one of my friends gets me into it, so I highkey wouldn’t really know anyone from the Nekoma team aside from class interactions.

I was always involved in journalism tho, that was my shit. I was always walking around, taking polls and doing interviews, getting pictures and whatnot. So i’m willing to bet that’s how I’d get involved with the team. 

I would deffo go to Coach Nekomata, just to let him know I was gonna be covering the volleyball team then oh? Hello? Who’s that tall drink of iced tea over there? It’s Kuroo lookin finer than a mf during practice. Lordy.

Lowkey highkey take a fuckton of pictures during regular practice and practice matches, he’s in almost all of them, if he doesn’t notice immediately it’ll probably get pointed out by Yamamoto.

“Maaan, she never takes any pictures of me, it’s no fair! She only ever gets Kuroo’s!” Snitch...

Then once I’m on his radar he’d deffo be like “Oi, shouldn’t you be getting an interview with the captain for these articles?” And that’s probably the point where I’d die. From then on I could imagine him trying to get me out of my little reporter bubble so I can actually get comfortable with the team.

After some time I’d deffo be friends with p much everyone on the team, deffo closest with Kuroo though cuz 1. he’s hot as fuck and 2. we have matching energies, both in terms of humor and dorkiness and mom/dad friend vibes.

I bounce between being shy and confident, I’d probably hit him with that “Can you hold this for me? *puts my hand in his* thanks!” to let him know I’m interested. I’d probably get a lot of playful teasing from him for it... then shut him up by kissing his cheek

I could see us staying in that weird limbo between being close friends and dating for a while until he’s finally like “Have I not asked you out? damn, guess it slipped my mind. Anyway, wanna be my girl?” He’d get a lil arm punch for asking so casually but I’d still say yes

He’d probably get so pouty because I can’t always have him in my article photos and interviews if we’re dating cuz conflict of interest lmao. “How do I make it up to you?” “Oh I dunno- start giving me goodluck kisses before every game.” “A small price to pay for journalistic integrity.”

Lots of handholding and cheek kisses, I’m soft af and you bet your ass I’m letting everyone know I simp for Kuroo every chance I get. I’m stealing that extra jersey and wearing it to his game too idgaf.

We’re the couple that slips notes into each other’s lockers, doesn’t matter if it’s cute stuff, dorky stuff, or blushy stuff. I would have a folder full of all the notes cuz why not save them for a rainy day?

Loudest ones in the cafeteria either cuz of our talking or our laughing. Our corner of the library is always full of whisper-yelling and not-so-quiet-snickering until we get in trouble. We just feed each other’s chaotic dork energy so much it’s insane.

Aight I need to stop there or I’ll keep going lmao thanks so much for the tag! I tag @allywritesimagines , @vventure , @starboybokuto and @nekoglasses !!

#self ship #Keo #KurooLeo #lmaoooo

[mythykl]

**That’s right. It’s time for Kakashi x reader Bitches

“Kakashi? Kakashi??” You couldn't comprehend why Rin had locked you in a dark room with hIMmm, and you held his hand the whole time, cuz’ ya 13yo ass was scared af. Once you guys were let out, you saw Rin and Obito fist bumping each other. 

That's when obito blurts- "Being the ones to know how much you like Y/n, you should've seen this coming!" 

"Baka! Shut up Obito, y/n doesn’t kn-" rin whispered

lmao. You're ass went speechless. Kakashi's hold tightened and he dragged you outside the academy.

before dating, he was pretty much a jerk to you, but it was through rin that you both get to know each other more personally,,, and still,, he continued to act like a jerk

well. once he took you outside, he decided to confess. His voice seemed shaky and he didn’t- couldn’t really speak out exactly what he wants,, 

“Kakashi, quit beating round’ the bush.. And the way you’ve held my hand it’s hurt-”

In the mid sentence- he just,, pulled you into a hug,, and whispered how much he likes you and asked you out!

you guys ended up having a beautiful time on your trip/date, at naka river, and,, tho no one really mentions, you both start dating *an unspoken understandin i guess?* on ya second date you guys prolly went for treking! *well i’m imagining that you aren’t a ninja*

You were by far the only one to see his face w/o mask

By now you had gotten used to obito’s clingy ass. though kakashi rants too much about him, you know, he loves him. Rin helps you a lot with dating advices,, somehow

Minato sensei teased you kiddos,, a lot. “At your age, all i used to do was keep staring at kushina,” he joked once.

He was a huge chatter and a curious ass fella surprisingly, you’re boyfriend talked to you about most of the things he learnt in mission, every goddamn theory he had in his mind, his likings and dislikings, his interest in Dōjutsu etc. You could feel how lonely he used to be, cuz he felt no one would listen 

you’d join him during his training at times, well that time you got to know that throwing a kunai isn’t as easy at it looks, your wrist hurt af

once kakashi had called you princess after kissing you in front of your friends, this commenced to everyone calling you by that name. especially Gai and obito

After obioto and eventually, rin’s death *ofc* you guys drifted apart; drastically. You couldn’t understand or help him through his immense remorse and regret while he would just,, either had a huge tantrum or not say anything at all. He said things like-  it’s better to stay alone, and have no one to lose- while breaking up, which hurt you a lot. within a few months, you guys didn't even cross paths in konoha streets since he became heavily loaded with anbu missions

Now that it has been like,,, a really long time; one day you see the konoha’s infamous Naruto with his team at the door, with a huge flower bouquet.

“Please accept this!” The girl with pink hair squeals.

“It cost us our whole savings but Ino-kun did give us a good amount of discount after hearing these are for kakashi-sensei’s date dattebayo!” naruto,, practically screames.

“Hold your horses; that’s not how you greet people.” the,, uchiha? Yes. he concludes blandly.

Your heart skips a beat on hearing your long-time-no-see lover’s name. Knowing him, you highly doubt that he sent them but still you ask.

“No ma’am, but we-once- managed to sneak into his Icha Icha Paradise, he’d written your name.. In it.. So we found you. You are sensei’s date aren’t you!?” the girl with pink hair, yes sakura, almost whispers to you.

ah.

“Yeah. That was a hell of a long time ago,” you smile.

You let them in and offer some tea. You guys talk a lot and they were astonished?- yes, more than astonished that you’ve seen him w/o mask. Ah ok

Wow they had already done huge ass planning beforehand to make you both meet *not that you know*. As you take them downstairs to bid adieu, you see kakashi,, literally,, standing, in front of you’re door. Both of you equally shocked. 

Kakashi and you start talking to each other. You apologize for not sticking around since you didn’t know how to help him let go of his pain while he apologizes for bein a jerk-? Ok.

You guys plan to hangout-, which is the most difficult part! You had to work in the morning hours while he had to stick with team 7 for missions by afternoon

 you guys ended up deciding on crashing at each other’s places at night, and also,, sometimess early in the morning *???* it gets tougher for him with time to juggle from place to place, thus, getting late for his missions

You guys end up moving in together *it’s official* and he sleeps closest to the window. yes.

He’s very protective of you and kinda the jealous type, he’s afraid of losing you and is very open about expressing it. He doesn’t give you nicknames but often call you stuff as ‘my other half’ and refers you w -chan *just being sarcastic*

You are like a mum to team 7 and they love you, you get them lunch at times. Sakura often asks you for advice to get sasuke,, but udk what to say since sasuke.. Is just sasuke *he reminds you of 13yo kakashi*. But uk that there’s a special bond between them

kakashi doesn’t hate PDA, but he doesn’t like it either; you guys for long walks in the evenings, occasionally hold hands. Is it obvious to others? Don't know. Butt once you caught kurenai and asuma kissing.. Twas’ hella kyut

He would also rest his chin on you head a lot, and likes to intertwine his fingers with yours when you guys are alone

Hugs aren’t his thing but if you hug him, he’ll slowly hug you back and then all at once melt into you, Anddd he’s warm af

twice you caught him, just in underwear, slurping ramen in the middle of the night and you were like,, wait wut-

He loves ya massages and loves to cut vegetables,, for some reason,,

Big cuddle person in bed

You love trying different hairstyles on him anddd he looks dead ass hot in most of em. Let’s just agree,, he has a better taste in style than you tf

You guys usually opt for trips to neighbouring villages, hot spring trips, camping etc

Tho mysterious and sarcastic, he opens up to you whenever needed. Unlike in childhood, now you’re the one who talks a lot. He agrees to feel acknowledged for being himself whenever he’s with you and like a prodigy, sharingan bearing, functioning human, as people call him. His brain lets go of all his insecurities and PTSD for a while when he sees you happy because of him

He often loses track of time during his frequent visits to the memorial stone where Obito's name is engraved; you understand that he needs some alone time for this ritual and this, don’t tag along 

Well now, even you've started reading icha icha series cuz’ of ya moron boyfriend, and you are hooked to it *since I basically imagine it to be the fifty shades of grey in naruto universe lol* you guys freakin end up trying shit from the book

“Baby, let’s be sexy,, together” he said once as he leaned againt the kitchen counter in the most sexy way.

“Sure senpai, why the book’s tactics won’t work?” he just laughed hysterically at the comeback.. And,, umm.. You get what happens

He likes braiding your hair, especially before sleep, he finds it relaxing

Whenever his ass displays a bored and unenthusiastic expression, you say, “go bald kakashi.” right. What a mature insult 

He’s very calm and observant and knows what you are feeling- or even what you are thinking. I mean how-? 

He asks you to make miso soup, with eggplant, a lot!

Your parents aren’t really sure of your relationship. Since he wears wut? a maskkKkk. And once Kakashi, still being as apathetic as he was during his youth, spoke bluntly about sensitive topics with them during a discussion

gai gifted you both matching Yukata on ya bday. that’s indeed beautiful and thoughtful of him.

well Your boyfriend sucks at selecting gifts.. He gets you things that can’t be used or idk.. ButTttt this man is too good at remembering dates  

People wonder if he’s stern and serious, judging by his past and repo, but you tell them that he isn’t! Well, he has decided to move on, and now you know how to support him. He knows that you appreciate him for that, and this he listens to you.

you just found an engagement ring on you night stand with letter beside it. congrats hun *instant panic*

...

i hope you enjoyed ;))

i need to,,, stop imagining so much, it's a lot to type. i wish i had a gadget or something through which my imagination would get typed, systematically, on my pc. Btw i won’t be uploading much in September since i gotta study so. so don’t assume that i’m dead or don’t care anymore. 

this one was requested by two peps, since my ass is new on tumblr i kinda fucked up and thus, my inbox got cleared or something. i’m still learning k

ya that’s it.. imma go and read my icha icha now ah huh

#kakashi #kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #hatake kakashi #naruto #sakura #sasuke #obito #gai #asuma #kurenai #naruto x reader #narutotrash #narutoheadcanon #naruto scenerio #naruto oneshot #kakashi boyfriend #anime #shounen #naruto fanfic #naruto fanfiction #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi fanart #naruto fanart #anime x reader #kakashi x you #you x kakashi #reader x kakashi #headcanons