#i threw this together in an hour bc i was too excited

[lazylittledragon]

here's to self indulgence and cosplaying your own bg3 character

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav #cosplay #i promise this is the worst this wig is going to look. i haven't styled it properly or blended in the wefts yet #i threw this together in an hour bc i was too excited #i need to master the dorian look of constant terror #also i wish there was better lighting outside my bathroom

[circinuus]

I just got this idea and I’m so excited to share it, can you do dazai with a seductive & intelligent reader who acts cheerful to deceive others with her “innocence”? How would she and dazai act, would they have intellectual talks and debate with each other on controversial matters, would they plan, observe or strategize together? Would dazai attempt to fluster her? + spice headcannons please :)

dazai with a "charming" reader

1.1k words. fem! reader

[unestablished relationship; reader is lowkey manipulative; sadly no spice bc i can't write them :') ]

❥ thank you for sharing nonnie i love the idea so much!! fingers crossed i'm going in the right direction with this.

You're no one important; a new secretary freshly accepted into the Armed Detective Agency, not any less nice and compassionate than Miss Haruno or Cafe Uzumaki's lovely waitress.

‎

You're such a sweet thing. You even looked genuinely concerned when our local suicidal man threw a suicide offer! A perfect package: You embody a charming person who is compassionate and caring to her colleagues; very devoted to her job; topped with a benevolent personality. It shows through the good-natured "How are you," the cups of coffee you fetch for everyone to start the day, and the generous offers of paperwork assistance (which Dazai failed to accept before Kunikida starts berating you for being 'too nice').

‎

You're so kindhearted that your actions seem to revolve around everyone else. But Dazai is smart enough to see how in truth, it was the other way around.

‎

You're not in the office? Everyone notices and is worried about your absence. Atsushi second-guessing himself? You're so agreeable and encouraging; so much so that he came to trust you more than he trusts himself. Is Ranpo being reluctant in a case? "Ranpo-san," you tilt your head, "This case is definitely too trivial to be handled by a detective of your caliber. But I trust The Greatest Detective more than anyone else." It didn't need Ranpo more sweet briberies to get him on and going to the crime scene.

"I stand with Kyouka, President," It was a fine afternoon in the agency. Your sentence rings firm as you make your stance beside the kimono-clad young lady.

"Surely, every person in this city has the right to amend themselves." you continue—with the usual undying conviction and hope in your irises.

Fukuzawa's expression resembles something of sharpened surprise-then wariness. Though it quickly melts away to subdued neutrality when he sees it was you—a mere kindhearted secretary—who spoke such a merciful sentence. Kyouka is accepted into the agency without anyone else necessary to speak up for her.

Naturally, defending a scared, lost, and misguided child—not innocent, but a child—was the most empathetic, compassionate thing someone can do. And yet,

"You're such a horrible person, (Name)."

Dazai Osamu's sweet smile plays a contrast against his cutting words. Several hours have passed since your little persuasion. Now you find yourselves sharing a table with the agency's ladies' man in the quiet cafe.

You shot a brief glance to the counter; it isn't hard to know Dazai had chosen an hour when even the cafe owner is momentarily absent.

"I am?" your gaze returns to his. And his brown eyes crinkle in astute amusement.

"You never really trusted Kyouka, didn't you?"

Your silence doesn't serve much of denial, so Dazai continued.

"That's smart. You speak in her favor because 'enemies' will work harder to gain 'our' trust. You don't trust her yet, but you put her in a spot where she will be more inclined to prove herself as a loyal ally."

"And maybe even more loyal than you, don't you say, (Name)?"

What's this? A question of loyalty? His implication is dangerous. But you fold your hands unabashed, resting your chin on them.

"Go on."

Dazai raises a brow. You return it with a sweet, closed-eye smile.

"You're just like a dream, Dazai," the syllables of his name pleasantly roll on your tongue. "Being understood this well—it's like a dream come true."

Your eyes lock his, undaunted. "Don't you think so too?"

Another silence, so thick and suffocating Dazai's now sharp gaze might cut through it.

"No?" a light titter escapes your throat. With shoulders not at all taut nor your gait on edge, you stare at afternoon's last rays from the quaint window of the cafe.

"That's too bad. To think I considered that suicide offer thing you mentioned when we first met. It seems I was mistaken about you."

Something about your tone isn't genuine. But what is not genuine is not always untrue.

The day Kyouka joined the agency marked the day two individuals somewhat similar, but starkly different acknowledged each other. Trust will be something more complicated to share, but that will be a problem solved by the march of time.

‎ ‎

Everyone notices how Dazai acts more amicably and clingy the day after. The attempts of flirting and flustering come back tenfold, in which you all but respond with an indulgent laugh or occasional witty words that won't get Kunikida too pressed. Perhaps Dazai has gotten more comfortable after knowing your true nature, or he rather keep you at an arm's length to keep a better eye on you. That will be a question only the man himself can answer.

‎

"You know, I've always been curious," you murmur to your flute, golden champagne swirling under the setting sun.

But the mutual understanding is present. God knows how untrusting and secretive Dazai can be with his plans. The moments you get to work together are represented by the knowing glances and silent nods during dire times when quick understandings are needed. Your relationship is delicate. There is now a degree of trust. But the two of you still tiptoe around each other, second-guessing what the other might have up their sleeves.

"About what?" Dazai, clad in a formal suit hums to his own glass, gaze still fixed on the same sunset you have in your eyes.

The three-way conflict with the Guild and the virus incident almost cost you Yokohama. One would think colleagues who worked through hell and back to save their city would have fully trusted each other by now. You got his back and he got yours; he saved your life and you saved his. But you aren't a fool. Dazai doesn't truly trust you. Dazai doesn't truly trust anyone.

"What are you looking for, Dazai? What are you looking for in this life?"

You look at his side profile. Dazai Osamu is an enigma, one you've spent so much time figuring out.

"You're looking for something. Something more than you expect. But someone must've told you the truth already; you'll find nothing. So why still persevere?"

This time, it's his silence that serves as neither a denial nor an answer.

The distant noise of the victory banquet calls; its joyous tone unfit for the heavy atmosphere you and Dazai shared. You let out a defeated exhale.

"Are you still looking for a beautiful woman to have suicide with?"

You'll let him open up when he's ready, you think. It isn't fair for both of you.

"Are you changing your mind?" He beams. "Could it be? Have you finally fallen in love with me?!"

S.S. Zelda sways gently on the still waters. Dazai's expression is coated with his usual playful facade. You hold his gaze as soon as it falls to yours. Just subtly, it slowly shifts to something more solemn.

"Who knows?" you close your eyes, lips dancing in a vixen smile.

It's tiring, but sure. You'll play this game just a little bit longer. After all, all the good things come to those who are patient.

i just realized these sound more like scenarios than hcs. welp.

♡ @ashthemadwriter

#bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader

[starrygetou]

clingy asf!stsg who literally needs to be ripped away whenever they kiss. it’s never just a quick kiss ang go, they always do a peck and then it turns into them tonguing each others throats for hours.

it’s especially bad whenever they have to go on separate missions, holding up the travel lines in an airport bc they act/feel like they haven’t seen each other in eons and they’re coming back from war.

sentimental!stsg who always keep some sort of good luck charm on their persons at all time. satoru keeps a small scale from suguru’s curse dragon in his pocket, and suguru keeps that eraser he threw at satoru all those years ago when he finally mastered his Infinity technique.

retired!stsg who loves to visit jujutsu tech to see the new generation come up. the kids always get so excited seeing THEE Satoru Gojo, but gojo always makes sure to mention and emphasize how it was him and suguru who did it all together. suguru always appreciates it especially after he left and how he was essentially black listed from the jujutsu world, but was only ever starting to get mentioned again after coming back. suguru also is a heavy advocate for making sure the new generation of sorcerers have support, mental health wise. he was the one who paved the way for guidance counseling and official grief counseling for the sorcerers and mandatory debriefings with mental health professionals after longer/more involved missions.

growing old!stsg who eventually move into the countryside to live the rest of their retirement in peace. they own a small patch of land and suguru taught satoru how to do some farming. satoru loves this newfound sense of pride in being able to grow crops from seed and soil to acres of produce.

growing old!stsg who always takes strolls around the property. satoru having a habit of picking flowers during the walk and putting them in suguru’s now graying hair.

growing old!stsg is still playful. suguru sending weak little curses to annoy gojo if he’s out in the fields or doing housework. gojo always threats to exorcise them and suguru says he doesn’t really care anymore, since his life as a sorcerer are behind him. gojo has a full circle moment and breaks down crying in suguru’s arms, realizing that they survived and lived to old age together.

STOP HERE IF YOU WANT HAPPY FEEL GOOD ENDING

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

they have their final meal that night, cooking each others favorite foods before watching some of their favorite movies. they barely watch since they’re too busy reminiscing their youth. both getting equally emotional and holding one another like their lives depend on it. they take one last bath together, not even really in the mood to do anything other than bathing each other. satoru taking extra time to brush suguru’s hair, feeling every strand between his fingertips, attempting to remember what was going on in their lives when suguru’s hair was at that specific length—what struggles they had, any friends they had possibly lost, everything.

when it’s time for bed, they get comfortable together in their pjs. satoru finally getting rid of his lavish 1000 count silk thread pjs for some simple beat down sweats and tank top that’s been well worn through the years.

they fiddle around with comfortable cuddle positpositions before satoru says,

“thank you.”

“… for what? if i may ask,” suguru says with his signature smile. still having that same sparkle in his eyes after everything he’s been through.

“for never giving up on us.”

suguru doesn’t even know how to respond other than gently squeezing satoru’s hand underneath the sheets.

“i love you.”

“i love you.”

they exchange a final, long kiss before resting their foreheads together. falling asleep for one last time in one another’s arms.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #satosugu #jjk fanfic #gojo x geto #jjk drabbles #jjk angst #stsg makes me so incredibly ill #stsg finally getting the happy ending they deserve

[alohastyles-x]

Sleepover - r.b.

Sleepover - r.b.

Request: The reader and Robin are gfs but act like best friends around their parents, they are having a sleepover at robins house while her parents are home. Things start to get super spicy and they have to stay quiet bc the family is in the house,, Robin is dom in this, also maybe some overstimulation if you’re up for it 😁 - Anon 🦕

Warnings: 18+ | Minors DNI | smutty smut smut, soft dom, parents don’t know about your sexuality 

Paring: Fem!reader x Robin Buckley

Word count: 2.4k | Part of the Stranger Things Sleepover

Notes: hiii! I was so excited to write this, but as I started, I really couldn't see Robin as anything other than a soft dom. I think she would love to know she has the control and power over you, without being super aggressive. I hope you still enjoy it though <3  *not edited yet* 

Stranger Things Masterlist | Sleepover Masterlist

Being in love with your best friend is always scary, but it's even scarier when your best friend is the same gender as you. Your ‘good’ religiouis parents would never accept you being gay, and neither would Robins. They had no idea the two of you were madly in love with each other, counting the days until you could escape Hawkins and live your lives as authentically as possible.

To them, the two of you were just best friends, “meant to be,” but, you know, platonically. And while it hurt that they weren’t able to know the truth, it ironically helped make everything so much easier.

Sleepovers. They were normal for best friends to have, innocently having fun discussing who they liked, playing games, and doing makeovers.

But for the two of you, sleepovers were your way to feel normal. Like a normal couple who fall asleep at night together, and enjoy eachothers company physically.

Which is exactly where you were tonight.

“It’s nice to see you dear,” Robin's mom greeted you warmly, opening the door wider for you to walk in her house. It always smelled like roses and linen, the combination intoxicatingly good.

You thanked her as you stepped over the threshold. Robin's dad was in his recliner, reading the newspaper. He waved at you without tearing his eyes away from the paper.

“She’s up in her room dear, dinner will be ready soon but I’ll come get you guys when it’s set.” Her mom's voice was soft, like honey, a stark contrast to Robin’s raspy, sharp voice. She definitely gets it from her dad.

You climbed the creaky stairs to the top floor, swinging a left down the hallway. Robin's room was at the end of the hall. The door was shut, but a light illuminated from underneath.

“Oohh Robin,” you called out in a sing-songy voice. The door immediately flew open, Robin stood behind it, bouncing on the balls of her feet, a giant grin plastered on her face.

“Hi!” She said, grabbing your wrists and pulling you into her room. She shut the door, pushing you up against it gently. Her mouth landed on yours, hungrily kissing you as if she hadn’t seen you in years. It had only been a couple of hours.

“I… missed you,” she muttered, moving down to your neck, her lips tingling your skin as she laid delicate kisses all over.

“It’s only been two hours silly,” you pointed out, moving your hands to her shoulders. You pulled her back so she could face you. Robin pouted, but respected your wishes.

“Your mom said dinner would be ready soon,” you explained. You didn’t want to start something you didn’t get to finish… even though sometimes it was hot as hell.

“I get it… you don’t love me anymore. I’m just going to waste away into oblivion with Steve.” Robin threw herself back on her bed dramatically, sprawling out, her arm hanging off the bed.

“Oh hush pretty thing.” You whispered, sitting on the floor next to her bed; next to her hand. You took it in yours, placing delicate flutters of kisses all over. When you made it to her wrist, you nibbled slightly, coaxing out a groan from her before she pulled away.

“Uh uh. If I don’t get too, neither do you, tease.”

You giggled at her antics, watching as she theatrically slid off the bed and onto the floor next to you. Her legs were propped up next to your shoulders, her head resting on the floor, her arms crossed over her tummy.

Where she laid, beams of sunlight escaped through the curtains that attempted to contain them. The light bounced off her jewelry, and her honey colored hair. At this moment, she looked absolutely mesmerizing. Her white top, and silver jewelry made her look angelic. She was the exact opposite of you. Where you were curvy and hard, she was slender and soft. Her skin, a beautiful milky white that atoned all the sinful thoughts you have of her.

And she thought the same about you. The shadows cast across your face, creating a mysterious haze in front of you. She liked the darkness. It perfectly complimented her bright and bubbly nature. She liked the dark on you, dark clothes, dark hair, dark lingerie. It made her feel sinful, in a heavenly sort of way, as she watched the black material hug your body in all the right places. You were her devil, she was your angel. Fitting together perfectly, like yin and yang.

“Girls!” Robin's mom called, breaking the silence. Dinner was ready.

After dinner, the two of you snuck back up to Robin’s room. It was pretty easy, actually, Robin just told her mom the two of you were going to be studying French, which her mom bought with ease.

“Well, it wasn’t technically a lie,” Robin explained once she closed the door to her room.

You giggled, laying down on her bed.

“You’re right,” you said, winking at her.

A beat passed. You could feel that Robin was nervous. No matter how many times you’ve been alone, been intimate, she was always nervous at first. It was hot, watching her switch from a giant bundle of nerves, to the dominant, unwavering woman she was in bed.

“So,” you said, attempting to start the flow of things.

“You want to listen to some music,” she asked, winking. That was your code: music. It was a way to drown out the sounds Robin coaxed from you, as she brought you crumbling down around her fingers.

This time, though, music wasn’t enough. The two of you had to be extremely quiet, as you heard the creaky stairs just outside her room. Robin's parents were heading to bed, which just so happened to be the next room over.

“Yes please,” you answered, waiting patiently as she chose a record to put on. She settled on a Blondie record, and let the tones fill the silent air that settled between you.

Robin nodded her head to the beat, before turning to you, her once innocent smile turning slightly devious as she looked at you resting on the bed, propped up on your elbows. She slowly made her way to you, shrugging off the light jacket she had on.

Towering over you, she smirked, spreading your legs until she stood in between them. Her hands ran over your thighs, sliding up until they reached your stomach, your chest, your neck, before finally resting on your cheek. Her mouth found yours once more, only this time it was delicate. Her soft, pink lips kissed yours gently, her tongue sweeping along your bottom lip. You let your mouth open wider, allowing for her tongue to explore yours.

You wrapped your arms around her neck, feeling euphoric at the feeling growing in your stomach. Robin moved from your lips to your neck. Her teeth nipped slightly at your skin, turning it a slight red color.

“Let’s get this off of you,” Robin whispered, leaning off of you so you could sit up. She pulled your shirt up and over your head, before casting it aside on the floor. Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in the sight before her.

Your black bra popped against your skin, the jean shorts you wore hugging your hips tightly. She licked her lips, absolutely hungry for you. Her fingers dug harshly into your shorts, yanking them off in a flash, letting out a slight gasp when she saw what you were wearing.

A matching set, except your thong had sparkly little rhinestones going up the sides.

“You like?” You asked, twisting your hips slightly to show them off. You had bedazzled them yourself, using your mom’s old glue gun you found in the craft room she had.

“I do,” Robin answered. She leaned down and kissed the inside of your thigh, teasing you as she slowly worked her way up. Just when you thought she was about to dive in, giving you the pleasure you craved, she moved to your other thigh. You let out a frustrated groan, which only made her snicker against your skin.

She settled on a spot close to your heat, taking a bit of skin into her mouth. She sucked harshly, lightly grazing her teeth against it until a purplish bruise began to appear.

Finally, she worked her way to right where you wanted her, moving aside your thong so her tongue found its place against your soft clit. The flicking of her tongue, coupled with her hands slowly caressing your skin until they found your breasts to rest on.

You rolled your head back, the feelings of immense pleasure taking over. You were unaware you let out a loud moan until Robin pulled away, the loss of contact making you whimper.

“No sounds,” she said, sternly. You nodded your head, pleading with your eyes for her to return to your clit.

Only she didn’t. She leaned over, kissing you harshly, taking your lower lip in between her teeth. She was trying to get you to moan, wanting you to be on the edge. Her fingers worked their way down to your clit, moving delicately and strategically against it. The feeling left you speechless for a moment, as you already felt your orgasm sneaking its way through.

“Uh, uh, uh. You can’t cum until I tell you to,” Robin whispered against your lips.  She removed her fingers, another whimper escaped your lips. As she got on top of you, you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as she slid her top off, and then her shorts. Until she was in nothing but her white bra. It looked beautiful against her sun kissed skin.

You couldn’t help but admire her beauty, but that’s not what Robin wanted at the moment. She climbed a top of you again, moving until she was hovering slightly above your mouth.

Without warning, she shoved herself down onto your face, your tongue finding its way into her warm folds. She let out a sharp breath, and grabbed onto some of your hair, pulling harshly.

“That’s a good girl,” she whispered, moving her jobs back and forth. You reached down to touch yourself, but Robin caught on, smacking your hand away.

“Only I can pleasure you, you know that,” Robin said. She harshly tugged on your hair again, eliciting a muffled moan from your mouth. The vibrations felt good against her clit, bringing her closer to her high.

“Please, let me touch myself,” you begged, as you pulled away slightly from her. She responded by moving your head back under her, pressing her pussy further into your face.

You felt her twitch in your mouth, and you knew she was getting closer.

As she rode out her high as silently as possible, you placed your hands firmly on her hips, keeping her down on your tongue so you could continue pleasuring her. The feeling became too much, and she tried to yank away, but you held on tightly. You knew you were going to pay for this, but hearing her hold back a scream made you feel so good.

When she finally managed to yank herself off, she looked at you with a devious smirk.

“Oh, look who’s trying to be in charge tonight,” Robin said, surprisingly calm for how out of breath she was.

“Maybe I want to?” You suggested, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Not gonna happen, sweetie,” Robin said against your lips, before placing a teasingly delicate kiss to them.

You grabbed her face, pulling her into you, and kissing her harshly. She responded, allowing you to have this little bit of fun. What’s the harm in a few minutes of feeling like you’re in charge?

After she felt like you had enough time, she pulled back, spinning you around so your back was pressed against her front. Robin began kissing your neck, leaving light red marks all over your neck. Her fingers danced down to your core, moving vigorously against your clit.

She slipped a finger in, and then another.  The feeling was euphoric, arousal stilling in your core as she abused you with her fingers. It was almost too good, you couldn’t control yourself. A loud yell escaped your mouth, as Robin continued to hit the right spot. Her hand quickly stilled, the other hand that was tightly gripped around your neck, moved up to cover your mouth.

“Shut up,” Robin threatened. You nodded, silently obeying. You were on the verge of tears, desperate for an orgasm. She had cut you off three times, frustrating the hell out of you. She began to work her fingers again, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm.

“You like that, yeah?” Robin whispered, and you nodded your head vigorously in response.

“You want to cum?” She asked, moving her hand away from your mouth.

“Yes, please… please let me cum,” you whispered, trying your best to stay quiet.

Her hand covered your mouth again as she continued to thrust her fingers inside of you, repeatedly hitting just the right spot. Your eyes were screwed shut, letting the feeling take over your entire body.

“Cum for me, you pretty little thing,” Robin whispered into your ear, biting it gently. That was enough to send you over the edge, her sweet and sultry voice whispering in your ear sending glorious shivers down your spine.

You yelled out, causing Robin to clamp tighter on your mouth to keep you as quiet as possible. Stars took over your vision, as your legs trembled and clenched Robin's hand in between where it was in between your legs.

You fell back against her, exhausted from the intense orgasm you felt.

Robin rested against the headboard of the bed, letting you rest against her. Your eyes fluttered closed, feeling completely comfortable against her. She was your haven, her arms comforting you even after completely destroying you.

She ran her fingers through your hair. Her soft singing voice filled the air, as she sang along to the Blondie song playing on the record player.

“You look so pretty when you’re completely fucked out,” Robin whispered. You smiled in response, unable to respond.

This was right where you wanted to be for now: in the arms of your lover, completely shut off from the rest of the world.

| ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ, ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ, ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ |

Taglist is off, please follow @alohastyles-xlibrary  for fic updates

#robin Buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley smut #robin buckley angst #robin buckley #robin buckley fic #robin buckley stranger things #stranger thigns #stranger things fic #stranger things smut

[g-xix]

RANKING the BETA SQUAD + HC's

Ranking from 1-10 on the who i find most to least attractive out of the beta squad and co! This includes Harry Pinero, Filly, Johnny Carey, Gib and Darkest on top of the beta squad, also.

Kinda just realised after writing this that I didn't rank them on attractiveness but just how much I'd wanna date them + dating headcannons... But either way, onto the rankings:

10. Johnny Carey I gotta give it to him, he's SHREDDED which is a big positive, but his content j isn't relatable or accurate to me which is probs bc the target audience is boys... Still feels a bit dodgy though, not a massive fan of that + the fact I feel like he'd be kinda mean in the relationship and expect you to take a joke is he ever just says smth blatanly rude, which is not it for me. I'll give it to him though- he's really physically attractive and the accent is lowkey kinda hot

9. Filly Felipé He's such boyfriend material. Like, he's so cute and I feel like he'd be so touch-needy and loving, but at the same time he's so energetic I would NOT be able to keep up. And the laugh could probs shatter my eardrums because of the ultrasonic metro-boom it emits. I'm waffling- basically, I think he'd be a great boyfriend but he's just too friendzone-y for me

8. Chunkz  Like Filly, I feel like Chunkz'd be so cute when he's touch-needy and just wants to chill and spend time together... But I feel like he'd be onesided...?? Like, if he wanted to just spend some time cuddling n watching a movie then that's be fine... But if you patted the bed n asked him to come spend some time he'd say "Nah not in the mood"- j like blatantly shut it down which i probs couldn't take, as a very touch-dependant person

7. Darkest This place where "I would deffo date and I think he's so cute" starts on the list. This guy deffo wouldn't turn down some quality affection whether that just be hugging or chilling with his arm around you, and I can imagine him being endless entertainment. Just coming into your room, asking what you're doing before launching into random conversation for approximately two hours before he remembers he came to let you know dinner was ready and on the table. He may be bald, but he's proof that boyfriend material isn't measured in hair follicles 🫶

6. Gib He's probs quite high on the list, but he'd be such a vibe honestly. He'd make fun of you in the way that's easily laugh-off-able and he'd not get offended if you threw a comment back. Definitely says no whenever you ask whether he wants to go out or spend time together, but when you go to leave he says "JOKING, JOKING, OF COURSE I DO" and then plans out the most amazing date or just general thing to do.

5. Sharky I know people might think he's proper low on the list but idk i just grew out of my finding Sharky hot phase within like two weeks... I think it has something to do with the fact someone called him a variation of Paul Breech on TikTok and that altered all my perceptions of Sharky. That being said, I feel like if he even looked at me for a SECOND I'd fold. Undeniably, this man is attractive, and I feel like he'd be so good in a relationship. He'd happily oblige to touch and cuddling and organise such cute dates even once he's asked you to be his gf. He's a Pinterest-core boyfriend I reckon <3

4. Harry Pinero I SEE EVERYONE PUTTING PINERO SO LOW. NAH. HE'S... Annoying at times but fine. I have conflicted feelings about his personality, but when he's that fine I can let being slightly annoying slide. I think he'd be so touchy around friends because he wants to show you, the gf off. Absolutely, unbelievably proud to have you as a gf and always has his arm around your waist, or your shoulder, or is bending down to whisper something into your ear with a grin. Also this might be a bit out of pocket, but I feel like sex life with him would absolutely be one of the most exciting- you all heard the story about him getting head in the back of the taxi, right? Yeah, sex life w Pinero would be WILD. 

3. Niko He's fine but it feels wrong bc he has a gf- ever since I found that out I've been HEARTBROKEN- LIKE SOMEONE THAT'S FRESH OUT OF BEING DUMPED, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID HIM AND NOT CATCH FEELS AGAIN 😭.  That being said, he's undeniably fucking gorgeous and he's funny and... He's everything. He is the moment. He is... not mine :( . He's got the full package though fr, and putting him any lower that top 3 on this list would be a VIOLATION.

2. AJ Honestly broke my heart having to choose between AJ and Kenny for top spot because they're BOTH. SO. FINE. Aj's hair is so attractive and his eyes are just so UGH. Man's out here proving the triangle really is the strongest shape. He's such a mix of golden-boyfriend-material and would-be-super-annoying, but I would cherish this man either way. I may be taller than him, but he's just too fine- his style, his hair, his eyes, his triangle-head- he's too hot for this world.

1. Kenny Of course, this man had to be number one. The hair when it's fresh is absolutely gorgeous and either way, he's so fine with the durag on. And the glasses as well?? Completely weak in the knees. He screams confidence because he just knows he's hot and that somehow makes him even more attractive. Plus him being a boxer but also being so soft and touchy just makes him 100% boyfriend material. Don't try convince me otherwise. Also strikes me as the type of guy to just know what you want... Like, he'd just come home randomly with ginger nut biscuits and you would finish them before the end of the day because they're just exactly what you needed. And he'd plan dates so perfectly. Once again, this man is fresh out of Pinterest, the way he'd organise the cutest picnic dates and activity nights <33

--------

I'm not too sure who you're meant to tag in tag lists but I'm gonna tag @lia-wrld who's also done this (check out her list) and @kennysboxergf who I first saw do this!

Thanks for reading n hope everyone enjoyed :)

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

#beta squad #harry pinero #darkest #darkest man #filly #yung filly #headcannons #aj shabeel #king kenny #niko omilana #chunkz #sharky #youtube #youtubers #beta squad ranking #requests open #x reader

[drinkingbitterboy]

alright. i have emotionally recovered from miles posting on instagram this morning, which truly threw off my plan to do a little concert recap bc i was busy yelling at my phone/on tumblr. as you do.

a couple notes:

i don't really do concert photos; literally took a grand total of 4 during the actual show. so sorry, don't have much there!

i did not get a poster :( turns out they ran out before AM even went on stage?? i'm sad, but not too pressed bc really i'd much rather have a good view than wait in the merch line.

here we go!!

so getting into the arena was kind of a shit show lmao. we rolled up around door open and the line stretched 5 city blocks and doubled back on itself; it was mostly organized but asshats loved to pop in when the line got broken up by the streets. took us almost an hour to make it our five blocks and the line behind us was still just as long by then. at least folks waiting by us in line were nice! beyond nice conversation the true highlight was outfit spotting. shoutout to the absolutely dedicated guy who showed up in the full on fwn clown outfit complete with face paint by himself. in this weather! found a couple folks dressed exactly like the car alex (again, why are you wearing a blazer in this weather) and you know. felt real old about it seeing some of the other concert outfits. i'm sorry, not to be judgemental of the tiktok girlies, but holy shit. i managed to out myself once as a weird fan about it bc i had "inside knowledge" aka i saw the ig stories james and davey posted lmao. i'm so sorry i'm incapable of holding it in when i want to correct someone. had a grand time talking to some people in line next to me around my age; one of them even had an old sias shirt from seeing them live back then! good bonding about "hey what have you done since they announced this album?" one guy switched jobs twice, we got married, and the other couple had a baby. jfc.

further highlights include the person who wrote the batphone and cheeseburger notes, a couple other car truck bits i didn't take pics of saying things like "who the fuck are the arctic monkeys", and the true comedy of whoever designed the tickets. big mike wazowski energy

fontaines dc sounded great! a lot of folks around me had no clue who they were, though. so the crowd wasn't too excited overall. also i have no idea who put together the playlist in between sets bc it was nuts.

and then: the big reveal (that i then updated tumblr on)

i'm really surprised the whole set made it! the anticipation before they took the curtain down was absolutely palpable. also, didn't get a picture of it but at one point someone had a giant pole and was trying to poke something right at at the top of the frame of the screen. no idea what that was about but it was hilarious. not pictured: the bonus screens on either side of the stage.

an aside: my partner is fucking hilarious. every time a roadie came on state with an instrument he'd go "i don't think that one is a monkey." he also generally calls them the "monkfys" anyway bc he really latched onto that clip aksdjfs

so this was interesting! they didn't show the body paint symbols at all on any of the screens; instead, they showed this colorful wheel thing.

and then the actual show. oh my word. opening with sculptures was absolutely my dream and honestly i don't have words for what it's like to see alex in person. he's absolutely captivating. hypnotizing. one of the most amazing things is watching how he proceeds through the show--how he goes from suave and put together with his choreographed arm movements for emphasis and his little things like the little bubble pop in that song. and then he starts to loosen up (along with his hair), we get the silly dramatic theatre kid during cornerstone and do me a favour, and by the time we hit body paint he's just completely letting loose. even when they played much of the usual setlist and i obviously know the music super well--better than anyone else around me--it was still absolutely thrilling to just be there and listen to the music and sing loudly and jump around until we felt the floorboards creak. they felt really high energy last night! turns out coming off of a break is good for them!

related, getting to watch the transformation into the poofy lion hair in real life is incredible.

i must admit, i am not immune to things like alex waving in our general direction to the crowd and walking over to our side of the stage and all of the charming bits. just can't help it.

otherwise, the only other person i could consistently see was nick - we were standing stage right, maybe 15 yards back? so you know. gorgeous as always. i'm sure jamie was wonderful also in his insane leather jacket -- didn't see him at all lol. i managed to get a very convenient window to center stage so i actually saw alex a decent amount. worked out well because i couldn't actually see the screens super well. i'm short. here's the only two pictures i actually took of the band, right at the beginning:

and now for the rest of the setlist -- we all know they played a lot of the usual suspects. as expected, much of the crowd was pretty young and very invested in only AM and the hype songs. i didn't mind; at least i wasn't the only person screaming for perfect sense (weren't a lot of us, i was the only one in my general area, but that's alright. i don't care.) my spouse was entertained by the person next to us who looked up the spotify set playlist in between every song; he was like "why look it up? if you don't know the songs well enough to identify by intro then how is the list supposed to help?" anyway, holy shit when is snap getting out of the playlist? and yet even though i was not thrilled by it it was still so fun to sing along.

4 out of 5 had a really funny bit at the end while he was just kinda ad libbing lines. "four stars out of five, not quite there yet, but almosttttt." teddy picker and view from the afternoon were absolutely fantastic, too. and then we get the basic AM bits again, though turns out the crowd was also really hype for fluorescent adolescent. 10/10

i was so goddamn loud for perfect sense. shoutout to the spouse again for only knowing that song bc i learned to play it and then played it constantly bc i wanted to manifest it aksjdflaskdj

he was constantly saying "very nice. very nice. very good" in between songs, which was adorable. "hope you're having a lovely evening, folks." as my partner put it: "very good. that's him like yes, i've met my crowd interaction quota for the night"

and then of course we brought out the drama for do me a favour and cornerstone. i cracked up that there were already gifs of the "forcing a smile" bit by the time i got home.

mirrorball started with alex conducting the stings again. i love it so much. also makes my musician ass miss performing lmao. but really, i can't get over how good mirrorball is. it's so dramatic, so emotional, then the actual mirrorball reveal??? i cried. it's insane. it's beautiful. it's honestly indescribable. i generally don't like people filming a lot or taking tons of pictures but you know what? mirrorball is an exception. holy mother of god.

and then 505!! i know i mentioned this earlier but really??? the mirrorball is only lit up like this for 505 and then they pull it back up?? there better be a mirrorball for me, he says, then we pull it down for the very miles song, and then they get rid of it???????? i had some thoughts.

our end of the stage got a bit distracted during do i wanna know bc we had someone go down in the crowd and had to call someone over to help. good news is that they were pretty close to the wall/barrier so it was easy to make space. even so, i realy can't get over how good that guitar sounds.

and then body paint. we've all seen videos of the extended outro and really, truly, it's just a life-altering experience to watch it life. it sounded incredible, it looked incredible with the rainbow lights, everyone looked like they were having a blast. i am a little biased bc i'm so attached to that song i'm getting tattoos about it on monday lmao. but man. not over it.

and finally the encore. ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE?????? i was NOT expecting it and absolutely lost my shit. unfortunately at this point bc we did some shifting around i no longer had a good view of anything. so it goes.

dancefloor, as always, was an absolute jam. bonus points bc now it's forever associated with our wedding. and r u mine had the place going nuts bc you know, the AM only folks, but really, i am also not immune to how hard that song goes.

all in all, that concert was absolutely incredible. i had an absolute BLAST and it was such a joy. i loved getting to be loud and truly did not care that there were bits where i was the only one who knew all the words. even my partner who is only really a tangential am fan had a really good time. they sounded amazing. i'm absolutely still on a high from it. hopefully the transition to a smaller venue again after the huge stadium tour was nice for the band, too!

and now time for some more coffee.

#my show #if you actually read this thank you!

[behoright]

I would die for kids night with boyfriend or husband KK 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

kids night with husband! KK

warnings: smut! breeding/pregnancy

- wrjocnerjkwriwr so you got married quite young

- you’ve been dating since you were in high school and have known each other since you were kids

- the universe always seemed to bring you guys together so you were able to always be physically close no matter where he moved

- and he really took that as a sign to put his all in this relationship

- there’s never any wavering from either of you

- everything has always worked out for you two

- so you got engaged when you were 20-21

- and everyone was SO happy

- it just made sense

- you’re newlyweds and are doing very well you’re really excited to build a life together

- right after the wedding you got off birth control teehee

- you’re not tryingggg not really but if it happens you’d be very happy

- kids night comes around and

- you’ve babysat some of the teammates before together and tbh

- had such a good time

- kk loves babies SO much and babies just seem to love him every. single. time.

- must be his smile

- he’s very good w them and v gentle

- roughs around w the older kids the most. Soooo many play fights

- so you’re excited to see all the kids and especially all the lil fans

- the guys will chirp him a lil bit when you’re all mingling before the game

- “so…. are you guys trying yet?”

- if he gets chirped by another dad he’ll be honest but if it’s one of the single guys he will just smile and stay! quiet!

- ends up having a really good conversation with some of the parents while he watches you help some of the smaller kids walk on the ice safely

-watching him lift up Burnzie’s kid during the surge there was so cute

- and a reminder that deep down he’s a kid at heart too

- that night tho when you get home

- you’re making out in your bed before going to sleep

- he’ll tell you

- “baby, I think I’m really ready”

- he tells you how he realized today that he really does want to be a dad and just like you’ve always done you’re going to figure out the best way to be parents

- “Should we start trying?”

- “I really want to, babe. I want to see you as a mom.”

- you both smile before he instantly attacks you and throws you down on the bed

- you fuck hard that night but nothing too much out of the norm tbh apart from the fact that he bottoms out as much as he can when he cums

- as the days start going by tho….

- “I read twice a day is the best to get pregnant, baby.”

- sjdhsudh he’s so involved and he’s so sweet

- and you can tell it turns him on bc the more you have sex the more energized he seems

- he can fuck for HOURS

- and starts telling you a lot during sex

- “I want it, I want it so bad” while he’s jackhammering into you the headboard banging against the wall his eyes are SHUT in concentration

- “I can still feel the cum from last night inside you, baby, fuck”

- he loves to do missionary bc he feels like he can get the deepest

- you see his arms tense with sweat dripping down his muscles before he leans back and moves your legs so he’s gripping the inside of your thighs

- leaning his weight on your thighs and he’s going all the way inside every time his balls slapping against your ass so hard

- he’d only move his hands to rub your clit and make sure you cum more than once

- he’ll keep you in that position after you’re done to make sure it “all stays inside”

- kk breathes REALLY hard when he’s horny like really really hard

- “I love that I get to fuck you and have you like this”

- “I love that you threw away those pills as soon as we left for our honeymoon”

- “I know you need me, baby. I know you need more cum inside you.”

- “I’ll give it all to you, doll, all of it deep in your tummy until it grows with my baby in it.”

- all in between huffs and puffs

- you spend your day replaying the deep grunts he does when he cums

- he loves to try and get you pregnant so much that tbh you don’t know how you’re going to tell him you missed your period on month 2 of trying………..

- you hope he loves pregnancy sex just as much 🥰🤷🏻‍♀️

#jesperi kotkaniemi #jesperi kotkaniemi smut #jesperi kotkaniemi blurb #jesperi kotkaniemi rpf #jesperi kotkaniemi x reader #smut #jesperi kotkaniemi imagine #nhl #nhl smut #nhl fic #nhl imagine #carolina hurricanes #canes #hurricanes #kikiwrites

[nothing0fnothing]

Did any of you have narcissistic abusers who ruined things?

My page is about narcissistic abuse from the perspective that my parents were the narcissistic abusers, and they loved a opportunity to ruin something I cared about.

Christmas, birthdays, holidays, school events or drama productions I was in. They'd pick a fight and assault me physically either hours before or hours after. Day ruined. On Christmas one year my dad threw me down the stairs of our holiday home over a croissant. And then I had to pull myself together and fix my face so I could deal with all the merriment when our extended family showed up for dinner. Everyone else's day was fine, but mine and my sisters, ruined.

Treasured items like notebooks, photo frames, nick knacks, toys or mementos, especially if they were bought out of my pocket money or gifted to me by a family member, if they were in a bad mood it was things like that that'd get broken, thrown or damaged. I remember days after my birthday my presents from my party getting smashed in a rage in front of me.

Friendships, mentorships or just any genuine or good relationships I had. If I was close with a teacher or a mentor they'd pull me out of classes, if I became close with my friends parents or other adult family members my mom would go into a jealous rage and become violent to really discourage further interactions with them. She would manufacture drama in my friend groups too. I remember being 10 years old when she was called out by a parent of a friend of mine bc the level of interaction she was having with my friend group and causing upset to 4 literal children was weird and inappropriate.

Compliments, awards evenings, after parties, theatre productions and basically anything that was celebrating or supporting me. She always felt times like this were the opportune moments to bring up some unrelated way that I'd failed. You got an academic award for writing? But they haven't seen how bad you are at maths. You produced and directed that entire school play? This is a great time to bring up how untidy your bedroom is. An auntie says my dress is pretty? Loudly scold her in front of me for ignoring my obvious weight problem. Moment ruined.

From a young age I learned to not seem too excited about anything. If I enjoyed something or was proud of something. It was second nature to get all those positive feelings out somewhere else before taking the news to my parents. If I had a good time at a friends house or really liked a present I knew to keep it to myself because it would be so easy for them to ruin it for me in the future.

#narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #toxic parents #vent post #toxic mom #complex trauma #parental abuse #dysfunctional family #childhood trauma #dysfunctional household #traumatic experience #trauma recovery #traumatic memories #actually abused

[flameunquenched]

a'ight. let's talk about the netflix adaptation of avatar: the last airbender.

SPOILERS PRESENT THROUGHOUT UNDER THE CUT.

this covers eps 1-4 bc i need a break for food and stuff lmfao.

so i like probably many others went in braced with the expectation of it being...well, like a certain movie that we all like to pretend does not exist. i had seen some things, which i discussed on another post, that worried me greatly. i would consider myself an atla superfan; it was a huge part of my childhood and i can remember sitting on the floor of the living room watching sozin's comet with my brother as the finale aired for that first time. so while i was excited for the idea of a live action version, having been badly burned by the movie, i was wary.

i am pleasantly surprised to say that, other than some flaws that i will discuss, it actually was...good?

i was very concerned about the removal of sozin's comet, given how integral it is to the story. sure, you do have actors who will be aging, as it is gonna take at least probably 6 years for the whole story to wrap up. this is, of course, assuming that netflix does not yeet it after s2 as they so love to do. seeing that it was present in episode 1 was...a little confusing considering what i had read. but i'm glad that it was there.

seeing sozin himself was awesome tbh. i think that he is a really interesting character and i honestly would be thrilled to have an entire series dedicated to him and roku, with their friendship and the trials they suffered together as firelord and avatar respectively. that was always one of my favorite episodes in s3 because of the deep introspection we got and the history of those two characters. but uh yeah when he just casually burned that earthbender to death, yeah. that was kinda the first sign that this was not going to be an adaptation geared towards children.

which i guess does make sense, doesn't it? after all, those of us like myself who grew up with avatar are no longer children but instead grown adults with children of our own in some case. it's an adaptation: it has to adapt to the times.

seeing the actual genocide of the air nomads was...a lot. that is one thing i will say that the live action had over the cartoon; it is hard to show death in a cartoon intended for children which means that, in a way, it is harder to fully realize the gravity of the situation. by showing it, by showing the deaths of men, women, and children, you as the viewer get the chance to better understand what was actually lost. i think it was easier to see them not just as characters but as people.

i'll admit that the cursing threw me for a loop, lol. it was just strange to casually hear "ass" being used in the realm of atla. but, again, this comes back to the need for accepting the aging audience.

i know there had been some discussion of aging katara to 16 and de-aging sokka to 14. if that was done, there was no sign of it. i had also had concerns about the removal of sokka's sexism but, honestly, i genuinely feel like the story was made much stronger for the lack of it. i liked the replacement of his 'dad left me in charge, i'm the leader, this is all my responsibility' sooo much more because it made more sense, especially when the revelations from the episode called spirited away came to light. it worked. and it worked in a way that lent gravity to the situation rather than the rather comedic ties that the original sexism offered.

i think in terms of sheer characterization, sokka was probably the strongest overall. i feel like his actor really got the character. katara had a problem of, at times, feeling too flat, as well as lacking some of the passion that i felt the cartoon allowed her to have.

aang's actor did really well, i will say. my friend thought that he did not quite convey the joyfulness that cartoon aang had but, having had a few hours to think about that, i think that might have been purposefully done. the adaptation was, again, not aimed at young kids. it makes sense that aang should feel, especially based on his discussions with the other avatars and other central characters, more serious and concerned about the general state of the world. a century is a long time to be away and i liked the way they showed the struggle he had with the fact that his entire people were gone. he really was the last airbender and the adaptation made me feel that. sure, it came at the cost of some of that youthful joyfulness, but i think it was a fair trade overall.

i loved gran gran doing the initial intro lines with kyoshi doing the actual intro. gran gran doing it made it feel like a story, a legend, that had been told for decades.

something else i enjoyed was the way that the adaptation handled integrating in other plotlines. getting to see ozai and azula, as well as mai and ty lee, in the fire nation capital city was really interesting. to me, it was a reminder that even when other characters are focused on other things, there are always things happening. the fake out of azula being a spy for her father for rebellions was fantastic and i think a key to the beginning of her characterization as a whole. i will admit i had some concerns about azula but her actress was incredible. absolutely incredible.

sokka's chemistry with suki was SIZZLING. like that entire bit was just so good. them fighting together and training together was just. urgh. it was so good.

now a character i will say i strongly prefer in the cartoon over the live action was zhao. i felt like his actor was...just trying too hard. maybe it's because jason isaacs just has a villainous voice but the cartoon always felt scarier to me. zhao in the live action felt...cartoonish and silly. almost like his actor was not taking it seriously, if that makes sense? that was disappointing to me. zhao was meant to be the first real antagonist of the series, a villain we could really hate and root for his downfall. instead, he just sort felt cartoonish and cheezy to me. i'm not sure if that was a direction choice or just the actor failing to understand the character but that was one of my chief complaints overall.

on the opposite end, iroh was so good. let's all be real here for a moment: there was no way, no way in hell, that a live action iroh was gonna be better than the cartoon. it was not gonna happen. iroh in the original was peak character and they were never gonna recreate him. but they didn't need to! they didn't need to because the live action iroh was just so good. he brought the same sort of laid back, calm serenity that the original iroh did without feeling like a carbon copy - or worse, a caricature - of him. i loved absolutely everything about iroh.

i wanna talk about the funeral scene in e4 but i also don't wanna talk about the funeral scene in e4 because it made me BAWL LIKE AN ACTUAL BABY Y'ALL I WENT FROM PERFECTLY FINE TO TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE SOBBING BROKENLY IN .2 SECONDS. as soon as i recognized the music that was it i was done, i was gone, almost had to pause to get myself back under control. it was bad.

i really liked how they did jet. it was a little strange for that to all be taking place in omashu but i understand the necessity of pulling everything down to fewer locations.

speaking of, to address something i spoke of at some length in another post, one of my key concerns upon learning that there was not going to be the 'running around to different locations' plots was that team avatar and by extension, us the audience, would miss out on seeing the effects of a century long war. i am very happy to say that those concerns were not valid. i actually think the live action did a better job of communicating those effects in a way that was truly shocking. think about bumi, for example. a character who in the show is, really, a sort of comedy break became instead a character who felt real, felt serious, and felt like he was bruised all over by the war that he has been fighting. i was on the fence a lot about that plot change, where bumi was sort of dark and gritty, but the more i have thought about it, the more i realize that it makes sense. a hundred years is a long time to battle an enemy that, frankly, is better equipped than you. is it any wonder that he was so angry at aang, even if that anger was misplaced? i don't really think so.

i am going to stop here, get some food, shower, and discuss the last 4 episodes a little later bc this is already unbelievably long lmao.

please feel free to let me know what you thought of it!!

#netflix avatar #avatar: the last airbender #live action avatar #spoilers for avatar #spoilers #atla #netflix avatar spoilers #natla #natla spoilers #here there be spoilers #read at your own discretion

[homingpigecns]

.

until last year i stayed friends with a grand total of One (1) friend i knew in high school and now. i have finally stopped talking to that friend. it is sooooo so nice to romanticize longevity and history and wow they have always been there but there's a point where it's like.

it is so embarrassing so i haven't talked about it because it's really like, fully pathetic, but i saw them the first time recently bc i hadn't seen any rl friends bc i had a years long slump where i just kind of took up space at home and i was embarrassed about it but i got my life together again last summer and i was like okay, i can respond to the question "how are you doing?" without breaking down into tears, and my friend did express interest in seeing me again and i really wanted to see them. so i saw them a while ago and i had fun and i was so happy and i was so grateful to still have this connection after all these years, after all the ways i've been and my colorful history, and i just. their birthday was about a month later and really extremely uncharacteristically of me i remembered, and i ordered them a weird little personal birthday tchotchke off etsy and got them a michaels gift card and hit them up like. happy birthday we should hang out soon on the day of and it was all very nice. i didn't expect something soon nor did i care too much. but a couple months ago when twitter was gonna implode i followed them on insta (even though i deleted my personal insta because i know personal instas only teach me things about people i don't want to know) and as a consequence of that i learned that my friend was not able to see me because i was not invited to their birthday thing. which was with a friend of theirs i kind of know and an old close friend from high school i lost touch with but asked about and sjdfhsdf. literally expressed interest in the time i just saw them.

DO YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC THAT IS........JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT IT..........LIKE I AM A KICKED PUPPY. I AM 24.....I HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE............I AM A UNION MEMBER........AND I GOT REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY AND I WASN'T INVITED TO THE PARTY...........

and you know there are probably actual reasons. i burned bridges with people in high school that they liked more than me, and i am too mature to care about who likes more than whoever now, and it is too insane to hold things from high school against them now that i am 24 and have regular cardiologist appointments. but it is also like. how many times do i have to die. i have grown past so many things the last three years that i thought i could never overcome and i can't, i don't want to, grow into someone who is mature enough to hold someone who's been important to me since i was 14 at arms length so it doesn't hurt when they inevitably drop me. currently, i commute an hour in the wrong direction so i can be on the same train as a work friend and i am aware the energy is insane but it is my energy and giving it and getting good things from it is like. this is better for my personal development than whichever way the other direction goes.

and it's like i don't even blame my friend from high school for how they feel about me because i was insane in a bad way in high school and i've done enough it's like. whatever. but it's like, also, when it's like, yeah this was half of the two people who permanently messed you up to the point people still are like "hey i didn't see you there. come over and say hi next time" when i avoid them because they're talking to someone else, who watched your friend group make a group chat and hang out together with everyone except you and didn't say anything and you were grateful they still threw you the bone to hang out one on one and it's like. i'm not. i don't really hold it against them, it was years ago, i don't think about those people anymore and yes i am still weird in many ways but for other reasons as well, but there is like. a very huge lack of pattern recognition and failure to learn and it is absolutely. my fault. when you put it like oh the person who killed me a thousand times throughout high school and college still has the power to kill me now and sometimes will? VERY OBVIOUSLY I AM THE PROBLEM.......i can't play high school anymore i have to play Being At Work and Surviving Capitalism Despite Everything, Did You Know I Am 24

anyway i decided to just quietly softblock my friend on everything, unfriend on discord, remove myself from the situation when there wasn't really an inciting event so i could just kind of fade out. but i did just find out that my friend did notice, and blocked me on twitter without saying a word -- which you know, is fine and understandable, because i did do all of that first. but what a metaphor you know. that is what the years of friendship are, and that they have stacked up this much to still hurt me is my fault. but hopefully for the last time.

#you know i still have the birthday tchotchke and it is too nice for me to throw out and im gonna feel SO clown at michaels but like. #im really not supposed to cut people off anymore. but. that mindset did truly get me here. at the ripe age of 24. #as a person with HEALTH INSURANCE. #that hurt me man. it is so stupid bc i did it first. but man did that rude as hell You're blocked hurt my feelings today. #i was like. trying to see if i could get our chatlogs back after i deleted them which i always do after i stop talking to someone. #so probably for the better. but also #also discord definitely is what gave me away but i have like FIVE friends on discord i cant see their username all the time......... #it will hurt my feelings. i already hurt my feelings every time i see the birthday tchotchke #and u know not to play the victim bc im very evil and toxic and HOPEFULLY CHANGING all my post high school friendships have been positive #but i am evil and toxic and i do still have those tendencies secretly and its insane that my evil toxicity still let me be pathetic this #long like what were the self sabotaging defense mechanisms for i wasnt even defended #brandon oscillates #personal #vent #its just. i cant be friends with someone anymore and theres seven asterisks. other people can do that probably but like #i cant even pretend i can. i have feelings you know. at work every day i pretend im unshakable i smile at people who yell at me #i cant smile off the clock anymore. if something is important i need to act the way i really am or i will lose that person

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Dark fact about every main character in the Christmas Kids AU

TW for child abuse, extreme violence and mentions of suicide.

William: Don’t know if I can say anything not inherent to him being William aside from the thing about him trying to steal a dead raccoon’s guts as a kid.

Michael: Attempted to, shall we say, follow his siblings’ footsteps around 1985. Survived, obviously, and this was part of when Michael finally began to lean on the people reaching out to him.

Amalie: Ok she’s a minor character but she never got to see her children’s bodies. She was told as little of what happened to them as the general public. Elizabeth was missing, and Cassidy died in an accident. That was all she ever knew her whole life.

Elizabeth: I have no intent to compare the siblings’ trauma, but Elizabeth being isolated from her brothers and abused by William fucked her up bad. She became a compulsive liar and people pleaser, and ended up with BPD. She tended to fawn over those she wanted to love her as a coping mechanism making her even more susceptible to her father’s abuse.

Cassidy: Most likely wouldn’t have lived very long even without the bite. William would’ve decided Cassidy wasn’t “fit” to live sooner or later.

Charlie: While Charlie was a sweet girl who took it upon herself to look out for those who couldn’t look out for themselves, she was never treated with that same kindness. The children who locked her out of the restaurant the day she died were her primary bullies, who she considered some of her best friends.

Susie: She saw her dog get run over. She threw his favorite toy out a bit too far when they were playing on a rainy night, and he chased it into the street. She followed William because she wanted to believe he was still there, and it wasn’t her fault. Her throat was slit, and her face mangled so if her corpse was found it couldn’t be recognized.

Jeremy: William set up a “puzzle game” for him and Gabriel, his best friend and basically his brother. Jeremy, excited by the game, ran straight into the trap. He was stabbed three times before having his throat slit and dying. His face was torn up similarly.

Gabriel: He was stabbed almost fifteen times before he finally died. The one blow he took after death was straight through his face.

Mitzi/Fritz: Her cause of death was similar to Cassidy, though a far less gruesome head trauma. William attempted to kill her the same as the others, but she refused to go down without a fight. She made a huge scene, pounding at the walls, kicking and punching William, and even managed to knock the knife out of his hand and run away. She didn’t get very far, though, before William, panicked and angry at her resistance, reached for her and got his hands around her pigtails. Her head was beaten against a wall until she passed out, at which point William stabbed her to “finish her off”, however the head trauma was actually what killed her.

Henry Emily: The darkest fact of all is that I somehow have not fleshed him out yet.

Jeremy Fitzgerald: Cassidy saw the Freddy masked bully in him, which is why his agony drove Toy Chica to bite him. Whether he’s the Freddy bully or unrelated I’m not sure, but I kind of like the parallel of him being the Freddy bully, I just also like the BC Jeremy so-

Scott Leskowitz (Phone Guy): It took him several hours to die in the Bonnie suit Cassidy stuffed him in. His death and the time it took knowing no one was going to help him was practically like being tortured, his body barely held together from dismemberment, and he’d begun to wonder if he’d ever die by the time it finally happened. He knew about the MCI, and realized as he was dying that he would be killed to keep it under wraps if that was what was needed. If calling him insane and gaslighting him over his schizophrenia saying he made it all up wasn’t enough because he was still alive and still knew, then this was how it was going to fucking end.

Caleb Martz: The vengeful spirits often target him for “rebirthing” Springtrap, making his life a living hell.

Vanessa: She acts as almost a mother figure to Gregory due to their own mother being neglectful and abandoning Gregory as a child. While she did lie to her therapist about her trauma, claiming her trauma matched Jesse’s, she still had a sucky childhood as she was neglected by her mother and learned to shrug off her trauma to cope. Furthermore, she was also taken advantage of by a partner in her teen years, and completely distances herself from it to the point of joking about it and insisting “no, it’s funny” so she doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Gregory: Has somniphobia and extreme fear of vulnerability. He tends to break down when he has to be emotionally vulnerable to others.

Jennifer: Her mother died shortly after her parents’ divorce. It was determined she had gotten drunk and died in a self inflicted car crash. Her dad conditioned her to believe this was her fault. She carries a ton of guilt over all these incidents and traumas that weren’t her fault.

Other random not-dark fact: Vanny and Vanessa are parallels to Caleb and Michael. Michael also serves as a similar figure to Gregory as Charlie did to the missing children, especially Cassidy. (Gregory is an obvious parallel to Cassidy lmao)

For everyone else I was like "oh my god, that's horrible" but for Vanessa I was like "hahaha, I do that :D"

#i also make uncomfortable jokes about my trauma to deflect pain #asks #answered #valleyfthdolls

[moon-ursidae]

GAME SESSION 4 RECAP

i’ve had a very emotionally draining day even before playing this so we’ll see what awaits me beyond the start screen this time HAHA

as always, spoilers for both games and the hbo series below!! (this one is L O N G)

i want to play today but i’m also going through it so we’ll see how this plays out lmao

hours played: 8 or 9 hours?? somewhere around there idk when i started

KICKIN IT OFF:

so i’m kinda scared bc joel and ellie are in the same clothes that they’re in during the winter section which i’ve seen some clips of. which means hurt/sick joel soon? and uhhh DAVID. so yknow. kinda nervous about that.

excited to see nolan and troy in another project together tho. a dynamic duo in the gaming industry truly.

omg this section is called go big horns. CUTE

i don’t remember what i did last haha but i’m in a dorm hall? we’ll see what happens

OH i’m supposed to get a gate open. slay

i love when joel gets on the horse he says “scoot.” LIKE HE DID W SARAH ON THE COUCH🥲😭

god i wish fall would fucking GET HERE

sorry the jacket on joel looks so cozy

i’m so on edge rn it’s too quiet

uh ooohhhh muthafuckin spores

i knew it was too quiet i’m so scared bro

if there’s a bloater here i will exit the game LMAO

okay in this one room there’s a melee weapon, a bomb, and arrows. not liking the looks of this so far

do i really have to drop down tho?? do i??

FUCKIN HELL I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL

i’m gonna try to coax my dog to sit in here w me HAHAHA

okay well they’re both not having it

ANYWAY

I FUCKING HEAR A BLOATER UR JOKING

i threw a bottle down the hall and was SPAMMING square to open this door holy fuck

that was so close i was literally like “pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease” holy fuck dude

i feel like every infected known to man is gonna seep through the walls of this campus when i turn this generator on

i was wondering if joel went to college

him being more open w ellie🥺

“ok.” “too much?” “too much.” i’m gonna fucking cry again. i love seeing the more sensitive side of joel, because he clearly is quite sensitive. he doesn’t like bringing up sarah that often, he doesn’t want to talk about what happened with his wife. he’s clearly still affected by these things. he’s just had to shove those feelings down and become hardened by the apocalypse. he still cares under his grizzled and weathered surface.🥺

i also love the development of how ellie respects his boundaries and doesn’t push too much further into his past after the ranch house conversation. after he says it’s too much, she doesn’t say anything else. GOD the writing is so so good

OMG WAIT i forgot to mention the duct tape on joel’s boots like forever ago. i like that they added that detail in the show too :)

if anything happens to callus while i’m in here, i will simply cry

“c’mon kiddo, give me your hand” 🥺

dude bros i’m so scared for when joel is gonna get hurt bc i most definitely remember it being near brick buildings? and all of these buildings fall into that category? and joel is in the same clothes? i am uhh how you say…SCARED

max health let’s gooooooo

so whoever is here has definitely been watching us. they made a sound RIGHT upstairs and they cleared out that fast?? they’ve absolutely been watching us and i’m scared that they heard ellie say that we have the cure to mankind🫠

sure are a lot of bottles and bricks up here 👀

dog break bc they needed to get some energy out

BACK TO THE GAME

BRO THAT’S SO SCARY THAT PEOPLE CAN MOVE THIS FAST

so we’re not gonna investigate that??

just pushin’ on?? this is not looking good bros

yoooooo this xray looks DOPE

i really don’t wanna open this door

IT WAS MONKEYS THE TIME

THE MONKEYS ARE A FALSE ALARM I KNOW IT DEEP IN MY BONES WHY ELSE WOULD THERE BE 500 BRICKS AND BOTTLES

THEY INJECTED THE MONKEYS????

broooooo

uh oh cutscene i am scared

to utah!! right?

why did he stop? joel please not now

uh oh spaghetti-o’s!

do i have to go back the way i came???? that was SO FAR BRO

fuuuuck

OH NO JOEL PLZ NOT OVER THE RAILS PLEASE

ELLIE??? NO HELP??? WH-?????

oh fuck goddamnit the railing BROKE

IMPALED????????? WHAT????????

FUCKING IMPALED?????

I’M GONNA START CRYING NO

THE STRUGGLED BREATHS??

HIM REACHING OUT TO ELLIE??????

STILL PROTECTING HER AS HE’S LITERALLY IMPALED STOP

THE TEARING SOUNDS???

JOEL YELLING???

I’M GONNA CRY BRO

STOP I HATE THIS

ELLIE IS SO SCARED

UUUUGH DUDE

SAYING HE’S FINE?? TO NOT SCARE HER?? OR TO TRICK HIS OWN BRAIN?? PROBABLY BOTH?

i know he’s gonna be okay but i am still very much in distress

his hands are COVERED in blood :(

this hurts my soul

oh my god she’s covered in blood too :((

ELLIE’S BEING SUCH A HELP ASSURING HIM I-

he doesn’t wanna put his weight on her and slow them down further :(

“then fucking walk” LMAO

the trail of blood 🥲

HER HELPING HIM I CAN’T DO THIS

HEY FUCKER LET GO OF THE HORSE

omg ellie is badass bro

i mean i knew that already but goddamn she’s really steppin up

oh my god please don’t fall of the horse joel

…he fell off the fucking horse

HE LOOKS SO PALE :(

I’M GETTING FLASHBACKS TO HER SAYING GET UP TO HIM 😭

WINTER?? we must’ve been in mid-late november just now then

THE ICONIC RABBIT

SLAY ELLIE

this feels so fucking weird playing ellie

i bet anyone playing this without spoilers for the first time was panicking thinking joel was dead

oh it takes her a hot minute to climb

DETAILS

gotta take that into account tho i’m so used to big grumpy texas man

“what is this place?” GIRL DON’T GO

NOLAN NORTH IS IN THERE

talking to herself in reassurance :(

took a food break

OH MY GOD OKAY UHHHH WAS NOT EXPECTING DAVID THIS EARLY

YES ELLIE

ellie i don’t think they have antibiotics

i fucking love ellie dude

“i’ve had some practice” i love how even when it’s ellie’s there’s essences of joel here

like he literally taught her how to use the rifle🥲

bro am i playing COD zombies or??

i do not trust david at all. i know he’s helping me to build trust but he’ll totally fuck me over later

i only trust joel to boost me bro

BLOATER??

i just started nailing that motherfucker with molotovs and bombs. that seems to work well :)

DO NOT touch ellie bro

“we make a pretty good team” don’t get ahead of yourself here dAvId. i’ve known you for like 10 minutes

I REMEMBER SEEING MOCAP VIDEO OF THIS SCENE

crazy man traveling with a little girl? uh sir, i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is no man with ellie. and she covered up saying she has a group as well.

what man? ellie is alone. LEAVE HER ALONE DAVID.

“you’re just a kid.” with YOUR RIFLE pointed at YOUR FACE bro shut the hell up

oh well… now that’s not fair james can fuck off

are we sure this is medicine??? this could be fucking poison dawg

“i can protect you” nah i’m good there’s a grumpy texas man waiting for me

bro they’re gonna follow ellie and she’s gonna lead them right to joel and shit’s gonna go down i feel it in my bones

JOELLLLLLL

he’s looking worse for wear

my heart w this music UGH

STOP. HIM SHIVERING AND HER CHECKING HIS TEMP ON HIS HEAD

AND THEN LAYING NEXT TO HIM

AND HE’S LOOKING OVER AT HER

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THEY’VE COME SO FARRRRRRR

what THE FUCK did i say

GODDAMNIT

YEA THEY TRACKED YOU

KINDA EASY TO DO THAT IN THE SNOW

ELLIE I’M NOT MAD AT YOU I’M JUST STRESSED

HER KEEPING HIM UPDATED EVEN THOUGH HE MIGHT BE SO OUT OF IT I CANNOT

THE WAY HE STIRRED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA DRAW THEM AWAY HE WANTS TO GET UP AND FIGHT FOR HERRRRRRRR AAAHHHHHHH

NOOO CALLUS NO BRO NOOOOOOO

I’M HAVING RDR2 FLASHBACKS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHY DO I STILL GET ATTACHED WHEN I KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN EVERY. FUCKING. TIME

okay stealth with ellie is kinda fun

the bow is the way to go apparently lmao

i’m so pissed i missed possible loot bc i decided to go the way that looked like it had loot. FUCK

SECRET TUNNELLLLLLL! SECRET TUNNEL! THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN! haha

she’s so worried about joel🥺

me too tho i get it

the way that i’m naming every voice actor of these npc’s the whole time i’ve been playing this game💀

i’m like “oh my god yuri! laur! travis! nolan!” i do this with every game tho LMAO

the fucking music in the background is hauntingly beautiful

this lodge goes hard dude i wanna live here

ELLIE

FUUUUCK DAVID DUDE

EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

THE SOUND EFFECTS OF THE CUTTING BLEH

“it’s deer” BULLSHIT GUY I JUST SAW A MOTHERFUCKER CHOPPING UP A WHOLE P E R S O N

“you’re a fucking animal” *continues to eat like an animal*

this is something that i do think about when it comes to apocalypse situations like how fast would some people resort to… other forms of sustenance…

dude nolan killed it being creepy as fuck haha

how long until he snaps dude i’m scared. he’s too calm

“and you’re special” NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOPE

YA’LL HAVE FUN

I’M NOT GONNA DO THAT HAHA

why tf is she letting him touch her hand bro i would’ve broken his goddamn fingers by now

wait she has to be acting so they’ll let her go nvm she’s clever lmao

OH MY GOD I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW SHE FUCKING BREAKS HIS FINGER

HOLY SHIT YEEES

“tell them that ellie is the little girl that broke your fucking finger.” OH MY GOD?? F E R A L

“how did you put it? hmm? tiny pieces?” IT’S THE LINE!! AH

also G R O S S

JOOOEEEELLLLLL

joel ur gonna rip those fuckin stitches man

woooaaah the controller light went from green to yellow? OHHHHH IT’S BASED ON MY HEALTH

why did that take me so long to notice? LMAOOOOO

the way that i’m walking slow as if that’ll put him through less pain💀

i take back what i said before about being able to hear him breathe bc this is so fucking sad hearing him grunting and struggling and shivering

i audibly shushed joel when he yelled for ellie like it was gonna do anything HAHA

having an injury in the cold fucking suuuuucks dude ur so sensitive to the weather

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST. even when joel is in extreme pain he’s taking not one, but TWO hostages. and they’re not overpowering him. jesus

HOLY FUCK JOEL. HE IS IN SO MUCH PAIN. AND JUST WAILIN ON THESE GUYS

jesus fucking christ

“focus right here.”

i- this is doing something to me🫢

ANYWAYYYY

PUTTING THE KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH AND MAKING HIM MARK THE MAP IN HIS OWN BLOOD IS C O L D AS HELL

“and it better be the same spot your buddy points to” OH MY GOD JOEL

“that’s alright. i believe him.”

i’m sittin here like 😳🫢😮

bro do not FUCK with joel miller goddamn

ellie you better wake the fuck up the terminator is coming to pick you up

oh shit oh fuck oh shit

YEA FUCK YOU DAVID LOOK AT HER ARM FUCKER

SLAAYYYYY ELLIE

oh this is a blizzard alright

sorry my midwesterner came out there for a sec

dude nolan is scary in this role he’s doin great

i’m waiting to hear joel absolutely fucking shit up in the distance

hearing ellie shiver :(

DUDE BURNING BUILDING BOSS FIGHT? slay

DAVID IS SO SCARY

JOOOOOEEEELLLLLL

i’m the one that will be fucking shit up? EXCELLENT👹

THERE’S LIKE 12 GUYS FOR ME TO HANDLE?? I HAD LIKE 5 or 6 FOR ELLIE TOTAL GODDAMN

ellie’s bag!!

when he walks into the butcher and sees what’s hanging then is like “i gotta find her. i gotta find her” in a slightly panicked tone? NO ONE TALK TO ME

oh shit indeed joel

ELLIE WAKE UUUUP I DON’T LIKE THIS ELLIE WAKE UUUUUUPPPP

i’m waiting for joel to come in and fuck shit up part 2 electric boogaloo

david is pathetic bro fighting a 14 yr old. watching her crawl for a weapon desperately, only to laugh and kick her when she gets close

holy fuck dude. no one talk to me. no one perceive me rn.

the first time he’s called her babygirl😭

oh my god. i’m fucking C R Y I N G rn

super traumatic things happen right before the seasons change i should know this by now

we’re in spring now oh boy

AHH THE OUTFITS!!! THE ONES THAT PEDRO AND BELLA WERE WEARING ON SET!!! AHHH

“let’s go kiddo” i- i need a minute after what just went down dude

i feel like i should stop now but i know i’m close to the ending

we’ve made it to utah!

“i’m gonna teach you how to play guitar” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ellie’s spacing out bc she’s scared :(

this is so crazy bc this literally looks like pedro and bella from behind

i love the fits that are goin on these might be my favorite so far

the rv :(

i’m literally crying just thinking about how full circle it is that joel lost his daughter, but has now gained a daughter. he tried so hard to fight it off. he even told her straight to her face that he’s not her father. now jump to him calling her babygirl and kiddo, and how they’re just chatting away about ellie’s dreams. how joel’s voice sounds warmer and softer, and so does ellie’s. i can’t fuckin do this bro

also not only the evolution from the beginning where he was like ugh a child🙄, but just from wyoming to now is so fucking wholesome. “i sure as hell ain’t your dad.” to now??? FUCK dude. i’m emotional

i’m not jazzed about being back in a city

if he calls her kiddo or babygirl one more time it will be my undoing

WAIT GIRAFFE SOON??? I FUCKIN HOPE SO

joel checking on her and not wanting to push her so he’s just like “it’s fine” so she doesn’t feel like she needs to be as talkative as she usually is🥲

my heart… HURTS bro

BZKSBSKDVSKSVDLWVDOEGSKSV THIS HURTS BRO HE WAS READY TO BOOST HER AND HE JUST SAW THAT SHE WAS STILL THERE AND SPACED OUT AGAIN AND I-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I AM A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION RIGHT NOW

STOP HE GOT SO SCARED

GIRAFFE TIME???

“what in the sam hell?” ASDFGHKLBDKS

GIRAFFE TIME!!!!!🥳🥳🥳🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

THERE’S TWO???

THE MUSIC? STOP IT

THERE’S THREE?!!

“don’t scare it” “i won’t, i won’t” IN THE SOFTEST VOICE I- MMMMMMMMM

WHY AM I CRYING ABOUT 2 PEOPLE PETTING A GIRAFFE

WAIT I KNOW THIS SONG

VANISHING GRACE!

ellie instantly perked up. it’s like a father and daughter at the zoo🥹 she’s like “hurry up! come on!” I CANNOT TAKE THIS

EIGHT GIRAFFES???

is a heart to heart about to happen bc i can’t take it rn i’m a mess

“is it everything you were hopin’ for?” “it’s got it’s ups and downs. can’t deny the view though”😭

i hope the game knows that i will literally fucking stand here for eternity. and this is what joel and ellie are gonna do for the rest of their lives. giraffe watch. no more trauma. just giraffes bein dudes.

and this is all before the ending??? CURSE YOU NAUGHTY DOG

i don’t want to progress bc they’re both so content and peaceful rn. UGH i’m sorry ya’ll we have to continue. JOEL. ELLIE. I’M SORRY

oh god i wasn’t expecting a cutscene am i about to get my heart broken? again?

“we don’t have to do this” ONE LINE IN AND I’M ALREADY UUUGH

they don’t want to let go of each other… bc they need each other at this point.

“it can’t be for nothing” THERE IT IS

uh ooohhhhh joel’s feeling differently mefinks

i want to hug both of them so fucking tight dudebros. so fucking tight.

i think i am gonna stop here bc i am tired and in pain from this fucking chair haha

yea this one was super ultra mega long. i’m sorry. i just got a lot to say and analyze sometimes yknow?? lots of story this time! maybe that’s why it’s longer haha

i just know that i am literally never going to be the same after playing this game. i’m so fucking happy that i finally did.

we finish(?) tomorrow! and i’ll probably do a seperate post from the next recap about what i thought of the game as a whole, and oh boy is that gonna be long too haha

but yea i’m so fucking excited but also scared to finish this!! until tomorrow!!🤎

#the last of us spoilers #the last of us #tlou spoilers #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #mads plays the last of us!🌿

[appreciatingtokrev]

i guess with age gaps friendships, it's better for both parties just to tell each other their age before the friendship properly start to develop because i support they got like a mini t&c given to them beforehand. that's understandable and fair but i feel like some ppl do that to tell if the other party will be a clingy friend or not. that's true and the cases where they keep in contact with everyone else but deliberately just do it to you is a real shitty realisation to acknowledge.

i think in those cases like that, the parties may find each other attractive too hence why they dive into a relationship so quickly or they just gel really well together i dk but i feel like it's a factor for some. she kept telling my family i have a surprise for z so when i came back, i thought she was joking. i would say 99% of ppl (including me) couldn't do that lol. it did worked for her, she's having her first child in May.

also, i saw your cats in mediterranean post, i went turkey last year and they were everywhere! i went to a McDondalds over there and a few kittens came into the sitting area outside but everyone was chill lmao. if i ever come off on anon, i'll prob just call you koko because i find that the easiest name to remember. ah i did recognise them including the gen one but not all of them. do you play gi?

ah some ppl are very laidback towards their names but it's interesting how much names play a role in someone personal/cultural identity. mine used to belong to a very specific group when i was born. also, finding out meaning of names is very fun. i suppose all this links back to psychology (?) to some extend.

agreed. that’s also one of the reasons i’m pretty open abt my age on here lol. the friend i gave as example has been aware the whole time too so

hm yeah understandable. yeah exactly, if you know everyone else is being ghosted by the person too then you know it’s not personal and stuff. but being the only person to be ignored really sucks

ngl i thought abt me & my relationships more bc i was trying to understand why you’d date/marry someone so soon and uhh. tbh. my qpp and i took a year and a half to label us as in a queerplatonic relationship (basically platonic partners. if things go well, platonic life partners :3 i would certainly marry him for tax benefits) but we clicked immediately so i’m starting to understand. a few weeks would def not be enough for such a big commitment like marriage but we p much were best friends like two weeks in and we only saw each other for 2 hours a week so... just immediately clicking and thus starting to date so soon actually makes kinda sense.

oh my god help this completely threw me for a loop first adhjdhf me & my friends are all so school focused i forgot that people my age and a few years above start having kids. omg. okay but congrats to her!! also very understandable i would’ve thought it’s a joke first too... like. a few weeks to get married is VERY unusual here lol

ohh omg life goals tbh. i love cats man i wish they’d swarm like flies here too adhjgdh ig it’s mostly a problem with stray cats tho :/ but it does sound like a nice experience lol

koko works fine hehe :3 yep, i’ve been playing genshin for over two years now! 26.1.2021 hehe. been slacking since last summer but during the first one and a half years i actually played it almost every day and i even picked up honkai tho i play that a lot less regularily. and i’m excited for honkai star rail!! which is gonna be released in just four days <3

oh oh very true yeah. i’m trans so i’m just not on the best terms with my deadname but i don’t care abt it that much tbh and i can’t decide on a new name so i just give people the option to do that lol. ngl i think the meanings of last names is more interesting... idk it has to do with your inheritage n that’s indefinitely more interesting to me than your parent’s naming choices but it is fun to talk abt name meanings! non-last name meanings definitely are linked to psyghology, especially if you choose them based on meaning yup. funfact my mom should have been named after ‘love’ but her parents accidentally shifted a line down when reading their book of names so now her name means something along the lines of ‘the one with an injured foot/leg’ which.... is not exactly a nice meaning lol but ppl don’t know abt it anyway plus it’s a pretty name so it doesn’t really matter. but it’s a fun little fact i think haha

#☆—`ask #anon: z

[noro-noro-noro]

oh yeah dreams....dreams....hm

- something about beijg on vacation in Europe with my sister & my friend & his friend who looked like Elsa Frozen as a human. we were in France briefly in n some.medieval themed town. there was a house with nice parents. was I on some kind of quest or was I afraid of being tracked? I don't remember. they had neighbors who had like a moat and water featute in his yard. we eent from the house to the little.toen and I wanted a slushie so bad & asked my sister if she could hold my blue flavored icee fr a minute, but then we were in the airport and she'd drunk the entire thingp. we were walking around trying to find another one innthe airport, but it was dark and had like funky bowling carpet & was more like a food court in there instead. I didn't know when my flight was either but at least my friends were keeping us company in the huge airport

- at a restaurant with people from studio. some kind of trip or smth, probably similar to when our design teacher from the study abroad trip took us somehwerr. it was a nice & fancy restaurant. most of us were sitting at a table by the kitchen but a few of us were at another table. I was very by the wall at the kitchen table jext to this girl D who was the one that asked me if I knew what a meme was like 5 yesrs ago. anyway our food wasn't coming out & the kitchen looked like it was closing down & we were like ??? but my dish finally showed up. it was spicy chicken with ghost peppers g also these really weirdly shaped lemons? like they were shaoed like bird feet, but looked like lemons, but in think they were actually a sweet fruit and you could eat the peel. D got a tasty looking cocktail.

- the beginning of this is kind of lost too. serial killer murdering..? there was some janitor who was possessed by something. we were all kids in this dream I was a bit older so I felt like It was.my resnsibility to keep the rest safe. but the janitor with his glowing green from all orifices inside his head and huge glasses. he wanted us to fix something for him - it was in slices that we had to seam together, and it was halfway to illegible from warer spills, but it had fallen into the room under the washing machine. we could seam the torn paper together by putting it together like a puzzle and running our fingers over it to heal it. the pages were different colors on construction paper, which kinr of helped.

eventually we were on the way home from school, still younger, though I was closer to my agem my sister was there.. the bus was going down a street that was almost like the street from our old house before we moved away, but there were also some vital differences. like the hill. anyway I got a text from this girl Jessica & her dad who wanted to meet me & my sister & my dad for dinner atbthis nice restaurant, so me & my aister were excited ;7but she saidnthe restaurant was in Ohio, which is 7-10 hours away.

anyway I remembered scaramouche genshin impsct lived nearby, but since everyone was aged down to child in this dream, I was excited to see him as a tsundere little kid. anyway we got.off the bus & went to play in our mom's friend's backyard. he was there & it was funny. I was wearing my old one ouece swim suit fsr?? I stopped wesring it bc it didn't fit. anyway I was older again & keeping my eyes on all tge little Asian kids , some of whom reminded me.of my cousins from Taiwan but only the first time.i met them when they were both 11 (I saw a picture of them when my mom's brother visited that really threw me.off. like what do you mean they're 18 now. qnd so tall. what) & also their dad was there carrinh Large and expensive looking pottery & thumping it down onto a table in front of me for me to see, and then continuing onwards. we were all going to go to that nixe restaurant later apparently so we sbojldnt be eating, but my sister snuck us lollipops that were like extrmeely.long and think and kinda bendy like ribbon erasers. we cheered

#dreams

[hell-heron]

First Sentence Meme

Put down the first sentence of every fic you wrote/posted this last year (2022).

Under the cut bc I'm too lenghty for this shit

1 When they said their farewells, at the small sandy cove where Robert Baratheon had precariously anchored his galley, Asha threw her arms around Father's neck and whispered in his ear to not worry, that they would run at the first chance, that it might take some time but they were both old and brave enough to show the wolves what it meant to rise again, harder and stronger.

2 Sam was the first to see the shores of Harlaw, as it happened, because he had been taking the air by the prow, wishing despite himself to sequester himself away from the eyes of his goodbrother, who seemed to take every sign of nausea as an affront to the strength and grace of the precious Redwyne dromond he had so generously offered for the journey.

3 "Deep in the meadow, under the willow," the delicate doe-eyed Victor of the Seventyfourth warbles between carols on the stage hastily decorated for her winter charity tour.

4 They found Robb’s jerkin and empty swordbelt first, thrown haphazardly and half-covered in the light summer snow. 

5 Somewhere near Harrenhal, somewhere only faintly to the north of where they were the day before and far, so far from Riverrun, Weasel wakes screaming for her mama and Arya would like to cry as well, even though she's too old for such things.

6 It was easier to answer the police's questions than his uncle, after they pulled him out of the car.

7 Robb giggled and elbowed Theon in elation when the rookery boy accosted maester Luwin during their lessons with a letter sealed in black and gold

8 “I understand you wish to be close to your gods and… your brother, my lady regent,” Nestor Royce valiantly tries for gallantry as the weirwood sapling is loaded on the wheelhouse.

9 “There will only be one cabin,” is the first thing he tells his lady wife as they come aboard the ship Varys provided for them.

10 The ferry to Novyj Zem is bustling with old ladies going home or fleeing the war, that look at him oddly when he throws a coin at Milo and he fetches it back, licking his hand for salt when he takes it back.

11 He's clad in soft, light silks - white tunic, rose doublet, blue damask cloak, Balthazar giggled he looked like the Virgin Mary when he helped him pick his wedding suit.

12 The marking starts stinging right when he gives up on looking for Romeo and starts looking for beads and charms to pilfer in Lady Capulet’s drawers, which is meaningful, he hates to admit.

13 By the time they'd hidden the dinghy under the low rocky cliff of Blacktyde and made the trek to the nearest inn the excitement of the flight had worn off.

14 "We are not planning anything!" Romeo cried for the upteenth time.

15 By the time Asha deigned to come down the Sea Tower Theon had been huddled down on the rocks for hours, staring at the wall of dark clouds on the horizon.

16 Theon was pulled out of sleep as if out of water, breathless, twitching, eyes and ears burning with the pain of the whole world being suddenly sucked into them.

17 Benvolio sat on the floor by the bed, holding Mercutio' limp hand as the surgeon stitched his side back together.

18 The Ascension is the first holiday after Giovanna’s daughter turned her pretty pink damask cloak on her own dead and living kin, and seeing her sit golden and smiling in her new family’s pew is a dagger to her heart every time she looks at her.

19 The air was hot and sultry as chicken soup at someone’s sickbed, heavy and cloying down his throat, pearls in his hair.

20 Dolokhov was counting money in the living room when they came in, hair tousled and shirt unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows.

#this is embarrassing i clearly do the thing of relying on the first sentence for scene setting instead or the second #but anyway #my favorites are i think 1 11 and 18 #op

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

DONT EVER ASTRAL PROJECT INTO JOISEY

yr on ur way to bodyhack and accidentally k hole a lil too hard in ur own living room and have to hold ur roommates feet / kuddle a bit b4 u go cuz u've never felt that way b4 on k besides the time u did that Laced bullshit like 3 months ago in the comfort of strangers u just met at le bain and yr crush at tha time. who actually wuz NIce a lil but they were like a weird capricorn with a gf N we all kno how poly relationships hav been for moi. Painful n weird. lik LEARN 2 communicate andSTICK2 UR boundaries [ AND DONT TRY TO INTERPRET WHAT THT MEANS BY URSELF IF YR CONFUSED LITERALLY JUST ASK] or just like DON'TTT try to have multiple relationships if u r INCAPABLE Of being responsible WITH MULTIPLE PPLZ FEELINGZZZZZZZ!

I!!!

ANYWEY. FLASHBACK.

We ordered 2g of shitty mexxy Fake ass K n all tha colors IN tha room blended together, u threw up and had to go into fetal position just to feel better cuz u dont rly remember talking but u just remember SURVIVNG Tha weird after party b4 when we all went into some strangers hotel [that i met at a party in LA like a few months back but it wuz like a quick meet outside tha warehouse so lik not rly KNEW the person but] that had a clogged toilet n RANDO EMERGENCIE ROOM SURGEON WHO ASKED U... 'hey…have u ever had k...INSIDE u..' LIK OMG WHAT LE FUK!

!!!!!?

then the weirdo who owned the hotel unclogged tha toilet After LYING and said he'd order room service n tried to stand in between yr friends who were lik just Kutie dancing to the german techno House n then yr crush was tryna like do a cute bubble bath moment with u but it all just got 2 GOT DAM MUCH so we all made a run 4 it. LE LITERALLY.

And this wuz after we walked around tha city, called the sunrise a tequila sunrise then talked ab makin it big 1 day n moving in those big apts in soho. And waiting for 4 uber cars for an hour to give us a ride but then they nvr came/cancelled so we walked 3 blocks n begged a rando with a Family sized lookin sUv to give us a ride to anotha party. like WUZ IT WORTH IT 2 GO 2 A KLOGGED TOILET SCARY HOTEL WITH SCARY SURGEON MAN N PREDATORY WEIRDO. WULD IDO IT AGAIN???? YES!!

u bump into a KUTE designer uve been supportingfor like a year n a half n they They tell U they Hav a crush on u like WAH RLYYYYY. but yr like not interested in starting something new but. IM IN MY NO1 DESERVES MOI ERA !!!!!! TUMBLR BLOGGING CONSISTENTLY ERA!!!!!!! ALL MY 9 OTHER ACCOUNTS R BLENDING TOGETHER ERA! MOI BDAY ERA!!! EXCITED 4!!!! N NOWADAYZZ ERA!

!!!! Yr waiting 4 ur friend n someonecomes up to u and asks u if u sell drugs LIKE WHT DO I LOOK LIKE. anotha gurl told me that nite i look like im poly. LIKE WHAT IS THE POLY AESTHETIC...BC I WULD RLY LIKE 2 MF KNO!!!! Then they proceed to overshare ab autism camp n then ask me if IM THA ONE thats "STILL HIGH' . We find a rubber duckie in tha hammocks n MR RUBBA DUCKIE IS OUR SECURITY GUARD 4 THA NITE while we dance with "fuckboy PRESENTING' kutiez n crave tha K that yr friendz say is from tha nethalandz. Yr high as shit n the sink in tha bathroom looks like a fukin goat n yrthinking of tyler tha creators iconic tweet on03-13-22 "YO IF SOMEONE INVITE U TO A SHOW DONT FUCKIN B LIKE CAN I GET 5 PASSES. NO. COME W 1 GUEST N SHOW SUM FUKIN RESPECC . DONT FUCKIN ASK 4 A FAMILY AMOUNT OFICKETS N SHIT HELL U THINK THIS A CHARITY WHO RAISED U N---GAS KNOW YALL FUKIN PLACE U AINT SPECIAL'

i wanna make a tiktok audio of me saying that but i dont wanna b problematic. N i wanna giv my mum tha rubbie duckie to add to her collection of rubbie duckiez. tha nite ended kute going to a white boys apt who wears kat ears who's name was aaron n we were with another aaron so there were two aarons then we smoked n watched sunrise n listened to the killerz nitecore version tho.

JUST BC IM HIGH A LOT DOESNT MEAN I DONT DO MY LAUNDRY OR TAXES OR AM SEXUALLY PROBLEMATIC OR STUPID. I LIKE CONTROLLED sUBSTANCES WHERE I KAN STILL THINK N AM COGNISCENT OF MY BODY N ENVIONMENT. I WULD LIKE 2 EXPLAIN DIS FURTHER BC I YAM DEFENSIVE N SELF INTROSPECTIVE N AS A LIBRAI WULD LIKE TO SEE ALL SIDES N SCALES N BE RATIONAL IN HOW I APPROACH MYSELF WHEN OTHERS CLEARLY KANNOT C ME 4 WHO I YAM IN ALL OF MY DIFF WAYZ. LIKE I LITERALLY AM FUCKIN RAVE MUM!!!!!!!!! i WULD LITERALLY BRING A FUKIN STALK OF CELERY 2 THA MF CLURB TO MAKE SURE PPLZ GOT SOME10 In THEY TUMMY B4 THEY DECIDE 2 ALCOHOL THEMSULVEZ!!!!!!!!!! I WILLL DYE YR HAIR B4 WE GET TO THA KLUB N WASH IT OUT FOR U N BLOW DRY IT N HELP U PIK OUT UR OUTFITZ THEN MAKE SURE WE ALL HAV A GOOD TIME . RAVE MUM VIBEZ!!!!!!! I HAV NVR PARTIED 2GET MY HOLES SATIATED. I HAV NVR LEFT A PARTY WA STRANGER AT A CLURB W THE INTENTION OF FUK!!!!!!

well. Now dat DAT out of tha way, TECHNO PAGAN IS LITERALLY A FUKIN GOD ANNNNDDD Tha Trinity is not A culmination of one god in three gods but a singular god!!!!!!!!!! THA TRINITY IS A MF SHMEXY

THRUPPLE.

something tht i hav been reflecting on in my nitelife has been the beauty of community i feel when we all stomp n dance together so hard, even in a room full of strangers, we all sit under tha influence of a universal language, something tht we kannot describe with words, something that is not expressed with words - music . ladybird hates club music but i feel like club music has encapsulated so much that normally goes out of my reigns of comfort, it is challenging as an artist to see thingz differently in lens of appreciation , but to feel every genre and every word n instrument n actually react to it has been something i feel like tht keeps me sane. going out has not been something that has just been "fun' for me, i release something into the nite that the nite keeps it for me. lily says i am the moon, the nite , and she is my sun, my day. i think

there is something beautiful about the nite, and how

it holds the darkness for u... it exists 4 a reason,

although scary ..... but i like the way i see the world

more when i am awake thru it, and i appreciate the

day while in fragmented time frames

i Yam SO MF behind on skoool. i wuz supposed to go

2 a truck show where clothing stores showcase a

bunch of new collection pieces kind of like sample

sales] todai but i ended up having a depressive

episode n crying 4 hours to 8485 n blackwinterwells

n helix tearz. idk when i will feel better some dayz, i

just kno my greatest pain / biggest wound is getting

taken 4 granted or being misunderstood / unloved by

the people i hav loved purely ... i hav an innocence to

me, ive realized ... i give ppl tha benefit of tha doubt

b4 they prove anything to meh. i hav been aching,

ive been sinking in my bed, i kant sleep, i dont know

how to proceed when ppl i want to luv me r so

incapable. n even then i am happy to be the 1 who is

hurt at the end of it all, and not them ..

nyfw is coming up n castings have been interesting.

the modeling scene is so small n i've been

recognizing mad ppl in the rando castings i've been

going to n showing up how i do . Cuz ima always b

me and that's what that truly means to me to model

to showcase myself authentically and though Yes i

am sample size - i think beauty is something more

philosophical and subjective than what we kan

condense to merely standardized measurements . I

always found it funni that if u live in model housing ur

like required to go out like three times a week to

make ur agent happie and like it wasn't til i was at lil

sister in st marks / 3rd ave area that i was like kinda

weirded by the modeling party nitelife scene , like it

gave human trafficking vibes from these old ass men

grinding too close to meh and then spilling their

orange ass piss colored drink on moi. like promoters

really pay models to go to these clubs and uber them

back n forth just to make these clubs look better.Butt these clubs ain't even got leg noom????

What wuld u do if u were in the club wiff me and i got

stomped on n I naturally scream MY LEGGGG in

spongebob voice. And Why the FUCK would i pay for

a san pelligrrinno to assimilate to this fancy club

aesthetic ???? LEZ B HONEST .....

.. WE AALLLLL

HATE SAN PELLYGRINO!!!!!!! BLECH!!

so moral of tha storie is take K from musicians who

hurt ur feelings online , support trans mutual aid but

Fuck the trans men that slut shame u for literally

going out n partying, Give they thems money n

Marlboro redz, Take polaroids of urself at nowadayz

then hate being perceived then leave them on the

floor, Sleep with ur contacts in , Don't touch ur

septum ring while K holing , My chemical romance

and pierce the veil are superior, give twinks twinkies,

and Fae/Xe's caramel candiez. And ALWAYS emulate

carrie bradshaw, believe in urself and ur writing and

don't EVERRRRR ASTRAL PROJECT INTO

JOISEY!

stay safe n KUTE and even if u have 4 blisters and 2

corns and 1 bunyon on yr foot just keep remembering

beauty is pain and Just apologize n giggle cutely /

politely decline if someone wanna suck ur toes, it's easy to decline n giggle n decline.

XXOXXXXX, ur fav gossip they , King princess hater

«Ur literally not more gay if u like them cuz they are

literally racist n problematic my friend played the

keys for them on tour so get with it and grow up,

listen to julien baker or Clairo or some shit>, 2021

covid survivor, mosquito bite wear-er, gemini moon

ass chatty ass Cathy ass " Don't u know who i am? energy" emulator, RENNY <3

#blog