#i'll at least be able to form new connections with people

[scarsmood]

Step-by-step manifesting a kintype for fun!

(Otherlinking)

Read time (10-15 min)

Methodology:

It is heavily recommended you follow the process order as follows:

Research

Meditation

Hypnosis

Be sure to remind yourself that you can do this cycle multiple times in order to gain a stronger connection. Be aware that this involves hypnosis which is a powerful tool and something that can pose legitimate risk to some people (see FAQ for clarification)

Process:

-Research-

To start off this journey begin with learning more about your kintype. You should watch videos, documentaries, read the wikipedia page, read essays, conservation efforts. Truly become knowledgable with this animal and learn its in's and outs. From there go into specifics. Study anatomy, behavior and environment. Learn about how their body works and why. What diseases they can carry and pass on. What sort of behavior they exhibit. How do they socialize? Do they create roles of systems? Are there politics?

Once you've done a decent amount of research begin drawing connection's between you and the target kintype. Start with basic stuff like "they're black and I like the color black" and build up to more advanced connections like "they have a matriarchal society, I specifically like the role of female 2nd in command best as it reflects my day to day role in life"

If you cant gather a lot of connections you may need to make a bridge kintype first something more familiar to you, then once comfortable branching out farther. For example if your target kintype is a crawfish and your current kintype is a horse. A bridge kintype may be something semi aquatic like a beaver or salamander.

Once you feel comfortable with that kintype you can extend yourself farther to your target kintype. It may take some patience to get there but everything comes with time and dedication.

Now that you know a decent amount about your kintype it's time to dig deeper!

-Meditation-

Meditation can be done through some scripts i'll drop below. (Also a type of self hypnosis just not as intense as an fyi)

If you're new to meditation I would start with learning how to clear your mind. This alone can take weeks of work if you've never done it before. Essentially the goal is to relax so much you are able to wipe away your thoughts that typically run through your mind. Your inner thoughts and monologue should be silent through your will as an end goal. People with ADHD will have a harder time but Its still possible.

Clearing your mind:

Pick a comfortable place to lay down. Close your eyes. Take some deep breathes. Feel your body relax slowly. This meditation is a game of attrition so be ready for patience. Notice the thoughts in your mind and step away from them. Try to watch them from a detached point of view. The ability to hear them but not so close. Slowly pull yourself farther and farther away from them. Let them stay behind you as you drift off. This may be easy for only a moment but you may feel them come back. Don't be discouraged each time you practice you'll be able to keep the thoughts tamped down for longer and longer. Practice this until you're able to hold a strong silence in your mind for at least 15 minutes. This will be good practice for what's to come.

The path:

Pick a comfortable place to sit or lay down. Choose an area your able to feel safe in and do any rituals or habits you may need to do in order to feel completely safe or relaxed. This could be lighting a candle, locking your door, listening to music, cleaning your space ect... once you feel relaxed sit down.

You'll want to practice this a few times with your eyes open to understand what to imagine as you read. Once you understand the hang of the script close your eyes and envision it fully.

You are in your hearthome. The place you hold truly dear to you. Your in your chosen form and can look around to fully take in what's around you. You'll notice a path ahead. Walk through it.

Each step as you walk focus on one sense. sight, what do you see? What's in front of you? Whats to your sides? Next is smell, what do you smell as you travel along the path? Is it humid? Is it windy? Then hear, what can you hear? How do your foot falls sound? What do you hear in your hearthome? Then touch, how does the path feel? How does your form feel? Can you feel your true body?

As you become familiar with your senses let them grow stronger as you travel down the path. When they become very strong let the intensity fully relax you. Get lost in the world around you as you discover this place. As you begin to get more enveloped in your world focus on your instincts and follow them in your mind. Do what your heart desires in this place. In this world there is no consequence for being what you are you can do whatever you want.

when you feel satisfied return to the path and walk back towards the way you came. Each step bringing you slowly back to the physical world. Each step intertwining what you've learned about yourself back to your physical body. Once you return to where you started you'll be grounded again and able to do whatever you need in your day to day.

Familiarization:

Once you become familiar with the script above you can stretch your muscles so to speak with a few more scripts below. This is practice in widening your scope of focus and ability to adapt and change.

Bring yourself to your hearthome like you have before and bring yourself down fully. Once your relaxed and ready imagine a new place that isn't your hearthome. It may be something like a different ecosystem, a grocery store, a bouncy castle. Whatever strikes your fancy.

Here you'll take a moment to explore this new area and note all the ways your kintype may interact with this new space. Be sure to stay positive even if the environment feels unnatural at first. Notice as time goes on how you begin to adapt to the environment. Do you walk a little differently? Do your eyes adjust to the new light? Getting used to these changes is key. Noticing them is important. Once you feel comfortable in this new space explore it further and interact with it.

Once you feel tired you can head back from the way you came again. Leading back to your hearthome then back to the physical world.

Body morphing:

Bringing yourself down again you'll want to focus on your forms body. Try to change the size of yourself. Give yourself feathers. Maybe claws. Maybe become softer or smaller. Notice the differences and what parts may be difficult for you to note down later. Once you feel done return to your normal form.

-Hypnosis-

For hypnosis, I would recommend doing the first script once for the first time you drop yourself and try to not do it again (unless you feel it is really necessary) the second script is more so a reinforcer which is made to cement a new kintype into place. (I used this one the most) a third script is relatively simple to tie loose ends you may have after a roughly 4-5 month process. (for me, year long process so far)

First script:

At this stage your now in-tune with this animal and basically roleplay as it often. You may not feel as though it's fully you yet and need to cement this identity further. I would suggest mastering the two above steps. Being able to seamlessly go through "the path" meditation and having done enough research to info dump around 2 pages of content to someone if they asked. (Not a strict standard, just my recommendation. You want a very solid foundation which can take time but is worth it)

At this point (I hope) through mediation and research you can see some stronger connections that may have developed or become more aware of. Using "the path" meditation bring yourself to the same trail this time with the intention of becoming the target kintype. As you walk forward think of those new stronger connections. Imagine yourself turning into that animal slowly as you draw on those connections.

Remind yourself how good it feels to be this kintype. How this aspect of you is growing and your nurturing it. Knowing you are fully in control and able to make this commitment to a new sense of self. Imagine imagery that represents you and this kintype meshing. What that looks like. What you look like as this kintype.

Feel your instincts shift over. Drawing on your previous experience of familiarization and body morphing imagine your body changing as your perception changes into something new. You are not "shifting" but becoming yourself. Something you want to be. Something you always have been but never got a chance to express it.

Let that freedom sink in that you are now closer to understanding yourself. That you are free and can stop anytime you want. When your done morphing you can feel something in your core locking into place. Listen to yourself and answer any questions you may have about this new form. Deicide if it's truly for you. If so push yourself deeper into the feeling of your new kintype and feel it sink into you permanently.

As if a new aspect of you has taken root. You can wake up as your kintype. Your the same person you always have been but now with a new facet to explore the world with.

Second script:

Bring yourself to a state of deep relaxation and meditation. Imagine you (in your target form) in your desired hearthome. Explore similarly like you did in "the path". While noticing the connections you made previously to this new kintype. Praise them and even show them off in this world. (Ex: i am a good hunter, so hunt!) do this at least once a week! Practice makes perfect.

Third script:

For tying loose ends. Figure out what may feel missing and bring yourself back into a meditative state. Line up the problems and conflicts and look for possible solutions. Some conflicts may be issues with ego, self esteem, anger issues, disconnect, ect... Experiment with a few solutions such as "i dont think im cool enough to be x" perhaps challenge it with compassion and understanding. See yourself as an adult helping a child. Listen to yourself honestly and kindly. Give yourself support and offer solutions of kind words.

Once every question that can be solved is solved you can wake up. The desired effect will be a greater confidence in your identity. You may need to repeat this script a few times as well.

Notes:

Practice makes perfect!

FAQ will be posted when people ask me questions. (This will be a growing collection)

Repeating this entire process will make connections much stronger even if you already mastered all of the steps. The act of repeating alone is very powerful.

FAQ:

How do you Choose a target type? -

whatever you want tbh the sky is the limit. If your like "that seems fun why not" and feel ready to commit your time to it then sure!

Are there any other Meditation and hypno techniques?-

this could probably be expanded further into a collection of hypnosis scripts and meditations but the ones i listed are a solid foundation. I would focus more on specalizations if i made more hypnosis like tying an identity to a trauma (in a healing way) or spiritually connecting with an identity (rituals)

Should I do any External stuff to?- i would recommend expressing your new kintype in anyways you see fit. For me i made a grackle statue and drew them a lot along with trying to do vocals and eating garbage so go nuts.

What would be a good outcome? Ideally you feel connected to a kintype you never felt connected to or wanted to feel connection but felt it was being stumped by something.

Do you think this would impact different Nerodivergencies? Yes!

‼️Systems are more at risk of creating full blown alters instead of a kintype!‼️

‼️Clinical lycanthropes will be prone to integrating a kintype into a delusion or developing new delusions. This process can also de-stabilize reliable and predicable delusions‼️

ADHD will probably struggle a lot with this technique and will probably need to do something external or multiple steps at once to feel stimulated

Autism should be fine? Same with cluster B disorders

Most noteably systems should take the most care to try this method because its **hypnosis** which is something systems are extremely prone to since they have an innate ability to dissociate easily. This can mean your brain can take the scripts "to far" and manifest something completely out of your control

If your a system and still want to do it id say go ahead but be aware of the risks. Taking breaks or taking the process very slow to make sure your stable may be the best course of action.

Resources:

None so far!

#otherkin #therian #writing #essay #how to #hypnosis #meditation #alterhuman #kff #otherlinking

[imab00kwh0r3]

babel, and why i love it (SPOILERS!!!!)

ok im terribly late to reading it, for its not sold in many places where i live, so i found the pdf luckily.

babel is a book about colonialism and racism and oppression, it is about revolution and battling your inner conscience (in my opinion at least, i'll elaborate later). it tells the story of robin swift coming to the prestigious royal institute of translation or better known as babel, where during his yrs there he discovers that the glamourous oxford university isnt such a righteous place. his loyalty is tested, blood is shed and tears fall which leads up to a revolution to stop an incoming war.

there are many reviews regarding how its racist to white ppl (which is astounding to even think about) and that its not accurate as women werent allowed to go to university in the 1830s but im not going to talk about that, that much. i wanted to speak on the actual translation/language aspect of it.

throughout the book, translation and language r some of the main themes (obviously) but the impact it has on the people, both in the book and irl is smth i havent seen anyone mention. language isnt just a form of communication but it is part of our culture, it is part of our identity, and during colonial times many languages suffered, they were being erased as they were "barbaric" or "strange" they were banned and anyone who spoke them was punished like in victoires chapter. robin, ramy and victoire all can barely speak their native languages, robin has almost fogotten cantonese, ramy has very basic knowledge of bengali and victoire is never given a chance or is permitted to speak in haitian creole. they lost one of the main things that connects them to their motherland, they only have their appearance left. they will never be able to talk to their ppl properly.

victoire was frustrated that haitian creole isnt recognised as a proper language like how in their exams, her match-pair wouldnt be counted properly as haitian creole wouldnt be used much hence its "useless" in the eyes of prof. leblanc. she was beaten when she would speak haitian croele in her house in france. when she first came to babel she was correcting herself from "kreyol" to "haitian creole" and was unsure if she could even study it.

robin realised that prof.lovell actually knew more than him about his own language, his mother tongue. he could barely stand being back in canton and he felt isolated in a way as everything changed and was new and so was the language even though he was born hearing and speaking it.

not much is talked about this with ramy except that he barely knows bengali, even though hes fluent in english, latin, greek, arabic, persian and urdu. he knows 6 languages and in his chapter he is sed to "absorb languages like a sponge" and that he recited poems or writing in other languages he didnt know perfectly, even down to tone, only after having it read to him once but he barely knows his mother tongue.

this relates to modern times as many languages of previously colonised countries rely on english words like in india u will barely hear the word pathshala, instead u will hear school. in mauritian creole when people speak they will slip in english words, like "netwai whiteboard la" which means clean the whiteboard.

we dont know our language fully because of the erasure of them.

theres also 1st gen immigrant children where their mother tongue is smth they barely hear or they forgot after a while, they feel so incredibly disconnected once they realise. this is how robin is and this is how i am too, i was born in europe, then at 7 i moved to england and now im somewhere entirely different, i dont remember my mother tongue, i dont dream in it. which ultimately makes u lose ur voice in a metaphorical way.

u cant speak because u dont know how.

another important thing is the purposeful mistranslations and burning of books, thats not fully discussed in the book although it would have been a nice touch. colonisers purposefully mistranslated things to control the masses because when they burnt our books, they burnt our language, knowledge and people. and the exploitation of our languages like the statue at univ of william jones sitting at desk and 3 hindu sages on the floor infront of him exists, and how missionaries were taught our languages to help in conversion.

now onto the 1830s inaccuracies and racism:

its the fucking 1830s do u think white ppl were nice to poc at this time, like slavery just ended in the eyes of the law for britain but still continued in other places like america. reverse racism doesnt exist, white ppl can be prejudiced against but u lot r not oppressed and never will be, u lot wont be killed for being white, so stop crying. and about the women wouldnt be at university in the 1830s thing its fiction, r.f. kuang took some liberties.

and that is all i have to say, dont start an argument, anyways babel is great, go read it!!

#babel an arcane history #babel or the necessity of violence #babel #babel rf kuang #robin swift #ramiz rafi mirza #ramy mirza #victoire desgraves #letitia price

[rubra-wav]

Further Hazbin Hotel lore/worldbuilding : Tech demons/ Vox-like demons

A/N This is hella disorganised because I'm just kinda rambling my thoughts on stuff so yeah. I was reading back on stuff I wrote and just thunk a really fucked up thought about Vox. Idk how to label this properly - I'll say it's crossed haha.

In Hazbin Hotel, there don't seem to be any demons who are much like Vox (what I refer to as tech demons). This could be because they just haven't been shown - which fair enough.

BUT. What if it's something else?

What if the reason why there aren't any/ many tech demons in hell is because they end up getting chopped up and sold for parts to places like Voxtek or to Carmine's weapon industry?

I mean, think about it.

With the progression of things like social media and how often people use devices in society, you'd think that there would way more demons who are like Vox. So like, why aren't there?

Also, there would be a lot of money in that. Hell is ever changing, and people want to get ahead and protect themselves in whatever way they can, so of course, everyone's going to be fighting to try to keep up to stay alive.

I was looking back at stuff, and this ask really stuck out to me and now i have an extra fucked up headcanon to boot. I mentioned that Vox can't be upgraded in some regards (at least in my headcanon here), and that pisses him off. I say it has angst potential. BUT.

What if the reason why tech demons like himself don't exist/ keep getting torn up is also because he specifically CALLS for them to be destroyed?

Vox doesn't want to be replaced by some newer, shinier model. He's from the 50's, and there are certain things about himself he will never be able to fully adapt in some ways.

There's surely going to be/ has been demons like Vox who are far more recent who are just as or even more capable. So where are they? Why has he stayed the only dominant technology based overlord when there would be demons falling into hell after things in the living world have surely allowed for demons who are higher tech than he could ever be?

I think it's because he is so insecure and deranged about this that he not only has his company purchase dismembered tech demons for his work but actually calls for people to actually kill them.

I'm talking straight up advertises everywhere how much his people will pay for tech demons for experimentation upon them so that he doesn't have competition.

I can also see him having full groups of people working to find them as they show up in hell. He would be terrified of being replaced by someone new. Someone better than he is. So he wants any demons who are technology based/AI-like in any way to be killed as soon as possible so they don't have any time to form a presence at all.

So yeah, now I'm thinking about Vox personally seeing to it that demons like him - who would logically understand him and be able to connect with him in ways other demons cannot - are put down and him getting a sadistic as fuck power trip off of it like: "you're supposed to be better then me yet you're getting fucking killed fucking loser LMAO"

I can see him sitting his broadcast room after hours watching footage of that shit happening and laughing like it's prime entertainment.

Maybe he'd even broadcast it as such himself.

#i had already somewhat thought passively about this in the past for dealbreaker. atlas is also a tech demon and yeah i thought #what if he has to hide that shit so people wouldnt try harm him bc like where tf are the tech demons at?? #but yeah 💀 #now we have vox watching tech demon torture for enjoyment #vox #vox headcanons #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel dealbreaker #hh dealbreaker

[amysgiantbees]

I find it very frustrating that Wyll and Karlach leave no matter what if you side with the goblins. Which feels particularly fucked up that the non-white and non-white coded origin characters are the only two who get this content cut off from them. Gale is the other morally upstanding character and although he's a bit more morally grey than the two of them he's certainly not okay with genocide by any means and yet he still stays.

I get it they are the two most morally upstanding characters and are very emotionally tied to the teiflings but they are then totally exempt from the story and loose a lot of content and depth. They both already have the least amount of content out of the origins characters from Karlach's late addition and Wyll's re-writes and cutting them out of the evil storyline just adds to this. It's especially frustrating with Karlach because she's so easy to miss as well as having less content. According to the DEV's this is on purpose bizarrely too "I would've missed Karlach if I hadn't been reading guides...

AS: That's common, I think.

SV: But it's also on purpose, because the replay value is much stronger if you've discovered things..." from https://www.ign.com/articles/baldurs-gate-3-final-interview-game-of-the-year-2023-characters-endings

I feel also that they could very easily stay for the evil route in multiple ways without sacrificing their characters.

For Karlach she could have a speech at the goblin party post slaughter about how she thought she was free but this is just like Avernus. There's really nowhere where she can relax, nowhere where she can do good. No one that she can form a connection to that won't betray her. But if that's how it's got to be fine she's put up with it for ten years she can do it a little more to be rid of the tadpole.

Wyll could stay if he kills Karlach. This causes him to go through a Shadowheart like change. I think choosing to save or kill Karlach is his biggest and most dramatic moment (partially because he's annoyingly passive so much of the rest of the story but still) like choosing to save or kill the Nightsong is Shadowheart's. And thus should bring about a similar change in him like how Shadowheart shuts herself off if you kill Dame Ayelin.

There's dialogue that I assume is from early access because otherwise it makes no fucking sense like "I fear your lust for power could get the better of you. You are a hero not a politician." that you can say to Wyll. But with this route we'd actually bring out this side to him. At present his reaction to finding out he did an honest to god murder with Karlach is pretty lack luster (I blame the writing as they reuse so much of his saving Karlach lines instead of giving him a properly new scene). Instead of being upset I say he goes through a change and tries to justify himself instead. Like "I had to do it, you don't know what Mizora would have done to me" "I can still be a hero" "it was a one time loop hole who else are we going to find who is heartless". Something like that. We play up the dichotomy between the Blade and Wyll too. Now he only refers to himself as The Blade. He's less willing to hear feedback. He's more defensive. He isn't so much a person but a symbol.

However, he still wants to do good and should still definitely be upset at the goblin party. At the party he should say something like "These people trusted me! Trusted us! I was to be their hero! This isn't over. But I can't have the people seeing me as any more of a monster. So I'll stay with you since you hold the only thing stopping me from growing tentacles." He's still concerned with heroics but it's more selfish now.

When he made the pact with Mizora he gave up his home, only family, friends, previous career plans, everything! This is him desperately trying not to have to loose anything else. He would argue now that at the very least he should be able to keep his reputation, be allowed to keep his secret (which would add to how powerful it is that he grows horns in the other path). He's scared and so young and so the "good" ending would be keeping his pact with Mizora and dooming himself to an eternity of torture. Doing the scary thing anyway and becoming a lemur, a monster. I do consider breaking the pact to be the "good" ending at present but maybe it's just the "good" ending for the other version of him on that path. Because the other version of him is unendingly selfless and so should prioritize himself.

The other option is Karlach and Wyll both live. Get very angry at you for killing the teiflings. Say they'll stay because they're not strong enough to kill themselves and can't risk transforming without the Prism and inflicting that on people instead. So they say they'll stay but are secretly planning to kill you if you don't change. They pull a Minthara . Much like after revealing to Minthara that you can stop the Absolute's voice she'll try and kill you if you destroy last light inn Wyll and Karlach try and kill you. It would at least give them a bit more time with the party and maybe even stay entirely if you change.

#dnd #bg3 #balders gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 wyll #wyll #wyll ravengard #myanalysis #karlach #karlach cliffgate #bg3 spoilers #larian critical #larian pls #larian why #bg3 meta

[skitter-kitter]

"Divorce of convenience" Rachel + Lear? 👀

send me reverse tropes with pokemon characters + Lear and i'll write something for it

This one's fun!

--------

It came up once by complete accident, when Lear and Sawyer were training their pokémon while Rachel and Cheren chatted by the sidelines.

“What do you think you’ll do once this is over?” Cheren asked. “Once Lear becomes king, I mean. He won’t need retainers then, will he?”

“Well, he, uh…” Rachel rarely stumbled over her words, so hearing it drew both Lear and Sawyer’s attention. She didn’t notice when the battle came to a halt. “Sawyer would become part of his personal guard, probably. He’s strong and he’s been trained by the king’s guards for ages. But me?”

She paused, considering everything. Cheren let her think it over.

“I don’t know,” she said eventually. “I don’t know if I could be anything more than this. If some lowly orphan girl could have a life more than this. So, uh, I guess what I’m saying is… when we leave Pasio, I don’t think I’ll be able to be anything but Master Lear’s old retainer.”

That sparked the idea. The, frankly, awful idea but one which would fix the issue of Rachel being a nobody orphan whose biggest point of fame was being Lear’s old retainer.

“It is not romantic,” Lear told her the day he proposed the idea. “We’ll be married for a few years, I’ll be able to let you form all the connections you want to fashion designers as my, uh, wife… and then when we get divorced after a while, then people will know you as someone wholly your own. Is that okay with you?”

Rachel had stared at him for so long he’d grown concerned she’d fallen so deep into shock that she’d faint, but eventually she snapped out of it, wrapped both arms around him, and tackled him to the ground with a cry of “Yes, yes, yes! Master Lear, yes!” which made them both laugh.

Lear’s father wasn’t happy about the arrangement and the plan to divorce,— especially about the fact that he’d have to call the orphaned girl he’d only hired to teach his son about the lower caste his daughter-in-law— but with enough pointed conversations Lear managed to sway him. The king at least got to unite their country with the news of the prince’s wedding.

After her name was announced, Rachel walked out in a stunning dress. It dragged behind her, hibiscus flowers sewn into the design. One of the flowers was tucked into her hair; a memento to the late queen. Any doubt of the validity of their relationship was blown away when the prince looked at her with a soft, warm smile. After they called out Rachel Falstelo, everyone who loved her cheered.

No one would dare call her a mere retainer any longer.

#skitty asks #villruu #skitty fics #prince lear #lear pokemon #pokemon lear #rachel pokemon #pokemas #this was hard to keep platonic but a fun idea. thanks for the prompt vrill!!

[emperorbubblegum]

This is gonna be another long-ish spoiler post for F/SR, so don't click if you haven't learned Rider's True Name yet

Also slight spoilers for Fate/Extra CCC Foxtail and maybe Shimousa but those are old enough that I doubt people care

I really need to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't know much about Fate play Samurai Remnant. I feel like most of us where able to guess a lot of the new Servants based off connections they had to pre-established ones. Rider's probably one of two exceptions because her reveal is supposed to be this huge "what the fuck" moment - and it is, but I feel like that mostly hinges on the player knowing Fate's version of Minomoto-no-Raikou.

Ushi Gozen has been teased for years. Raikou's always been one of the many Servants that mentions how her Berserker Saint Graph isn't the only one we might aee of her (edit 1: I didn't play FGO when it first released so I didn't know this, but apparently Ushi actually shows up in the same event Raikou's introduced in). In Foxtail, we see her used as a prarallel to Suzuka, since both have connections to Oni. The most prominent tease is in Shimousa, where we actually see Ushi Gozen appear, but with the same design as Raikou for budget reasons I guess (edit 2: No we don't, that's just Raikou, but she has the Rider class so I misremembered her there as Ushi Gozen). And now she's actually here! She gets her own game! And she looks...

Girl what the fuck happened to you

I really like both of her designs to be honest. She's one of the few Servants to be wearing actual samurai armor, and she's the first to wear the helmet too I'm pretty sure. Then after Saber kicks the shit out of her, the armor falls apart and we see that she's in a much worse state than any of us expected. Her hair's cut short, her eyes are dead with noticeable bags, her skin's paler than it was before, and she barely looks like she's eaten anything. Those last two could also be said about Raikou (Raita for the love of god learn to draw human women properly) but on Rider they're noticeably worse. Also she seems crazier than her Berserker form, albeit a different kind of crazy.

When we fight her the second time in Chapter 5, she shows up with these awesome robot-like spider legs reminiscent of what Ushi-oni are usually described with. She doesn't look human because her humanity was seemingly beaten out of her. Raikou tends to suffer from what I like to call "the Altera Problem", where if used right she can be a really genuine and badass character, but 90% of the time she's used for jokes and to get people's dicks hard. However in things like Foxtail, or Shimousa (which is even more apparent in the manga), or Heian-Kyo we get to see her for how she really is, which is A) terrifying and B) a hero worthy of going down as one of humanity's best. Rider is only that first one. No jokes, no big tits, just pure unadulturated "you're gonna die" energy.

Rider's the first Servant we ever see in Samurai Remnant. She's the first one Iori encounters, leveling his house in the prologue and acting as the tutorial boss to show the player "hey you can't fucking take these guys on", and in the teaser trailer (which shows that scene) she's one of three Servants who are actually shown to us - the other two being SR's Saber and everyone's favorite bisexual dimension hopper, Musashi. I could write a whole other post about Shousetsu and Iori (maybe I will who knows) but Rider follows their dynamic. She's a strong parallel to Saber. Fuck she basically is Saber if they didn't have people like Ototachibana-Hime and Iori to keep them grounded.

All of the new Servants are super cool (with the exception of Caster that bitch ass nerd), but I think Rider's possibly the coolest. I mean, I've been wanting Samson since I got into Fate and you haven't seen me make any real posts about him because Minamoto-no-Raikou, one of my least favorite Servants, has got me in a vicegrip. I don't know if she's my favorite, but I'll definitely be saving for if she ever comes into FGO

#fate series #fate samurai remnant #fsr #fsr rider #fate samurai remnant spoilers #fsr spoilers

[avpdpossum]

you have avpd and npd at the same time? if im nosy feel free not to answer, how does that manifest for you? i have avpd and im doubting whether i also have narcissistic or histrionic traits but they seem to be such contradictory pds i think im might be overanalyzing myself

i thought the same thing at first but, at least in my experience, they're honestly not as contradictory as they seem.

a lot of people think they're essentially opposites because they think that npd means having a super high self-esteem while avpd means having a super low self-esteem, but that's an inaccurate (or at least incomplete) picture of npd. in reality, npd is really more about having a super fragile or volatile self-esteem than a consistently high self-esteem, and that definitely can coexist with the characteristic low self-esteem of avpd.

for me, my avpd symptoms tend to be far more outward-facing than my npd symptoms. my internal monologue probably sounds a lot like other pwnpd, but i don't show it as much as some people do because avpd means my go-to coping mechanism for any internal state is avoidance. here's what that might look like:

i, like many pwnpd, can't stand not being the best at something. it totally wrecks my self-esteem. but instead of that manifesting as me being really competitive, i just quit at things really fucking easily, and i'll usually avoid competitive situations at all costs unless i'm with people i'm super comfortable around or i know there will be people who do worse than me. i've been known to stop doing an activity for literal years if i have one single experience of not being as good at it as i expected and even having panic attacks when forced to do it; i rarely do competitive things like board games with people aside from being able to play certain kinds of games with a handful of people that i'm a bit more comfortable being bad at shit with; when i learn new skills, i have to either teach them to myself totally alone or learn alongside other people who are also probably going to be really bad at it, because if there's even a chance i'll be the worst one in the room, i physically cannot make myself do it. i have that classic npd feeling of "i must be the best at everything and i will convince myself that i'm the best at everything and if anything proves that wrong i will go crawl into a hole and die", but the outward expression of it looks very classically avoidant because having avpd means that's always what my brain defaults to when dealing with current or potential distress.

one aspect of npd is incorrectly estimating the effect you have on other people. most people tend to assume this means either overestimating how much of a positive impact you have on people or underestimating how much of a negative impact you have on people, but for me, it often actually shows up as overestimating the negative impact i have on other people. as in, if i say one thing wrong and it seems like it made the other person uncomfortable at all, i'll immediately assume it was the worst thing i possibly could've said and that they'll never get over the trauma i've just caused them by opening my mouth. while a pwnpd doesn't have to have avpd to experience that symptom in this way, i believe i'm probably more likely to than most because having avpd means i'm already predisposed to vastly overestimating the impact of anything negative in an interaction.

the effect that npd has on my ability to feel empathy and generally form social connections is basically just one big vicious cycle that feeds into and is fed into by my avoidance. my sibling once described me (before i knew i had npd) as "bad at caring about other people". i very rarely feel empathy for other people, and i find it really hard to be emotionally invested in other people's lives, even people i enjoy having around and genuinely care about in my own way. the relationships i do have (which aren't many) are selfish in one way or another because my brain doesn't really know how to emotionally connect with people if there isn't something in it for me. all of that tends to create distance between me and other people, since it makes me very bad at forming the kinds of relationships that most people expect, which usually involve some level of empathy and emotional investment as a given. it also makes me distance myself from other people intentionally on top of that, because i know that's something a lot of people see as bad and that a lot of people wouldn't want to be friends with me because of it. it takes the perpetual avoidant anxiety of "if i let someone get close it'll only be a matter of time before they realize i'm a horrible person and leave" and turns it up to 100. so my npd actually ends up making me more avoidant, rather than contradicting the avoidance.

because there are some ways that avpd and npd contradict themselves, and particularly because i tend to stick with avoidance as my coping mechanism of choice, my brain is basically in a constant state of frustration. i want to pick fights and prove that i'm right, but the attention it gets me is torture so i either just sit there and quietly implode or say something, inevitably get negative attention for it, and retreat into my little avoidance hole in a panic to quietly implode (but worse). i want to stand up for myself when i feel like i'm not being treated the way i deserve and make other people treat me right, but the idea of them even knowing i exist (or, god forbid, disliking me because of how i want to be treated) is so unbearable that instead i just go through the world constantly feeling like i'm being mistreated and can't do anything about it. i want to follow all these grandiose fantasies i craft for myself about my future and be the best at everything ever, but i know deep down that there's a chance i won't be that good and not being that good feels like total failure, so instead i end up letting opportunities fall away as i avoid pursuing them and having to just sit there knowing i could be capable of way more, thinking about all of the delicious attention and praise i'll never get for it. i want to act on all of these npd thoughts and feelings, but because they're incompatible with avoidance and that's literally all i know how to do, i just torture myself internally instead.

those are just a few examples, there are definitely more ways they overlap, interact, and butt heads in my daily life, but those are the ones that come to mind as i'm writing this.

basically, i don't seem like someone with npd because my avoidance likes to take over most of the time when it comes to my outward behaviors, but internally i'm just one big chaotic mess of avoidant and narcissistic traits amplifying, combining with, or crashing into each other.

i can't speak as much to hpd because i don't have it, but i assume it's similarly not as contradictory as one might think. a disorder that's (at least in more simplistic conceptualizations of it, i don't know all about it) based around an unbearable need for attention may seem incompatible with avpd, the disorder that's makes you terrified of being known by anyone ever. but avpd also tends to involve really wanting relationships with others to a painful extent, even if you can't make yourself pursue them, and i imagine that has the potential for overlap with hpd.

good luck figuring it all out!

#poss.answers #comorbidities #discussion #personal #avpd #npd #actually avpd #actually npd #actually avoidant #actually narcissistic #avoidant pd #narcissistic pd #avoidant personality disorder #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster c #cluster b

[sourseat]

we're 1/4 through the year its time to check in with the goals and vibes

this post is so long

so tbh i haven't been thinking much about the goals and vibes i set at the start of the year. in fact rereading them there are many i had forgotten about lol. so let's revisit

theme no. 1 was self-assurance. i was feeling insecure last year apparently (how quickly i forget...) and wanted to feel solid in myself. i think this is feeling good! i'm not sure it needs to be theme no. 1 anymore! but i'll keep it because it is nice to feel self-assured. feeling insecure is not pleasant.

theme 2 was consume less. this is pretty good and remains a theme i am vibing with

third theme is let go of clinging to / craving stability and certainty. yeah i think i have integrated this. stability is something i might pursue but not something i will expect.

and the goals

join a choir / sing regularly in some form - nixed for now. not vibing.

do at least one overnight camping hike (hopefully more) - okay its so windy here maybe i'll hike and stay in huts or something idk about camping. we'll see!!

go to the pole studio in the town i'll be living in and suss the vibe. if the vibe is good enroll in classes! - i haven't been to the one closest to me yet!! but i will soon and have been to another studio so :)

keep journaling (i've journaled each day this year!) or at least remember journaling is there, and is helpful (i've noticed i tend to journal a lot in Jan and then stop) - i have kept up the journaling! not every day but at least a few times a week.

figure out how i want to have meditation in my life - a work in progress but this is moving up the priority list rn. i have been anxious. meditation helps w that for me.

sort out my digital archives - i haven't started this and the thought of doing so is deeply overwhelming in the terrible way where it gets more overwhelming the longer i wait

finish editing all my half edited videos - : / nope and i'm about to lose access to premiere pro so !! ???

read more poetry, memorise 3 poems (i'm memorising the raven at the moment, it is so long that it might take me all year) - i forgot about this lol, i'm kinda still into it but its low on the list

do PhD revisions and be finished with the phd for REAL - i submitted a draft to my supervisor! nearly done :)

write (at least) one article based on the phd (a reluctant goal. i must.) - feeling confident i will do this due to the environment i am in!

okay some good goals in here. i have been thinking i wanna do some prioritisaiton. that is a long list of goals up there. too many. so here are the ones i am gonna keep in mind for now

Work + career development - stay on top of my job, submit articles, apply for conferences. i am gonna have to keep living for my whole life somehow so i'd best use this time to set myself up to be able to get a job in this field i have spent a bunch of time in.

Meditation + journaling - really wanna get a good vibe with meditation again. Still unsure what this will look like but will prioritise figuring it out.

Organising - there's a genocide happening and I'm not doing shit. wanna get connected with organising communities here. weird being in a new place and not knowing anyone.

Pole + stretching - feeling strong in pole classes recently has felt sooooo good! And dancing... I love it. I think there's not much else in my life here yet that brings that level of joy.

Maintain relationships w people in Aus - this is like a time consuming thing that requires thought! I somehow did not foresee this! And I do want to prioritise it. Messaging people, scheduling calls, this kinda thing. I don't really like messaging generally lol so, it is on the list!!

Travel - I want to see Ireland and Europe while I'm here! And can already sense how easy it will be for two years to pass without me going anywhere.

And backburner goals

Do an overnight hike

Sort out my digital archives

Read + memorise more poetry.

#resolutions

[lgbtimelords]

hello!!! for the ask game could i please ask for:

🍑🍈

thank you! :D

Hi!!!! Thanks for the ask 🥹

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

(thinking about this question made me realize I'm not big on crossovers 😂) but I'd say send Lena into the wheel of time universe as a new found witch, let's see what happens

---

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

so from what I understood blorbo is favorite character so obviouSLY KARA ZOR-EL MY BELOVED

"free pass to rant about blorbo opinions" oh honey you've got a big storm coming

I feel like her pain is something that I make sure shows up a lot in my fics (or at least I try to) because I don't feel like that's something that gets explored a lot. (It does get explored but out of 20k sc works, most of them don't even try to if we're honest)

She's like!!!! Extremely smart!!!!!! I do understand the show itself always took Kara's intelligence down to make literally every other character sound smart but she IS SMART ON HER OWN!!!! not only is she number/reasoning smart (miss "we did calculous from the age of four"), she's also visual smart (miss "I remember all of them" thanks to her photographic memory), musical smart (miss voice of an angel etc etc), linguistic smart (miss learned an entire new language as a kid when she was thrown into earth + we know she speaks more than just english) AND people smart (miss convinces someone to put down the gun etc etc). I recently made a fic that made her sound SOOOO stupid it pissed me off like you'd think one of the main characters of a ship being smart would be the norm but apparently it's an idea/headcanon not everyone has 🥴

Also as an specific headcanon that was never mentioned on the show is: I think she'd totally have kids. I know not everyone agrees with that one but my god. That woman has SO much love to give, how can she not want to give that love to children. How can she not want to make sure a little orphan gets the type of love and understanding the Danvers gave to her? When it's completely in her power to be able to give them that. How can she not want to share her culture and her name and her memories with someone that can keep passing on those memories and love? She'd have kids!!!! I'll die on this hill

Also she's a JEALOUS bitch. She really is. She IS. But hear me out. She's not jealous in the horrible possessive way most people are. She's not jealous in the "I don't trust you" way. She's jealous in the "please don't leave me", "please don't abandon me", "I understand I'm not good enough for you but I love you" way. "Please be forever mine" kinda way if you know what I mean

That one post about "calling my lover mine in the way my neighborhood is mine and also everybody else's, mine to tend to, mine to care form mine to love. Mine not like possession but devotion" is soooooo Kara imo, I could write a dissertation about it. She wants her people to be hers, not possessively, but because she wants to keep being able to love them.

#writing asks #OP i am SORRY this is so long but you asked about KARA #any question about kara instantly makes me rant #thanks for asking again

[malicious-vampire]

(Since Tumblr decided to make it impossible to edit an ask that's been saved as a draft, I'm forced to cite it here)

@schizocadaver asked:

"I'll place this as an ask rather than just going straight into messaging you as it feels most correct to me. I've been suspecting for a while that I might have szpd and possibly npd so I was wondering if you might be able to share on your experience of having both and what that's like"

Hello and thanks for the ask! This is a lot since these PDs affect my whole life in various aspects, so I'll try to break it down to the most obvious things, or those that I deem most important. NPD and SZPD complement one another quite well, though there are also some huge difficulties.

For a start, I take incredible pride in my solitude. I prefer spending my time alone and turn to activities I can do on my own, because I hold the core belief that most other people are beneath me and not worth my time or energy. It's also a lot easier to feel godlike and untouchable when you're not perveived by anyone other than yourself - which can also become a problem once I go outside and have to deal with the fact that I can make mistakes and that other people will take notice of that.

I'm a misanthrope and I don't trust anyone. While I do have a few close friends who I care about, I cannot spend more than a few hours at once with them or I'll get annoyed by their presence. Strangers usually disgust me, so it's hard to make any new acquaintances. I do have a perfect pokerface and though people always describe me as friendly and empathetic, I can't form any real emotional connections to anyone. It's like a thin veil or a pane of glass between me and others. Because of that, I never share much about myself. I hate intimacy, both physically and psychologically. Even my closest friends who I've known for years only know me on a surface-level, and sometimes it feels lonely to have no one who truly sees me. It's bittersweet.

On the upside, I can get along really well on my own. I don't want to be around people all the time and I have enough hobbies to keep myself busy and productive without having to rely on anyone else. On the downside, I quickly get bored. Humans require at least a little bit of socializing to function properly, so it's impossible to be truly alone and happy all the time. Therefore I occasionally get a sudden and brief craving for attention, which is difficult to get in that moment when one spends most of their time alone. Then I turn to reckless (sometimes self-harming) behavior or I start spiraling and drown in self-pity, which leads to more isolation and more depression (narc crash). I'm currently working against that by trying to establish a schedule where I get to meet my friends 0.5-1x a week to have enough outside-supply but still primarily inside-supply (e.g. making art and music, studying and turning to other solitary activities).

Part of the reason why social encounters are so exhausting for me is that I mask heavily, even around my family. I intentionally crafted my mask to fit every situation I'm in and I constantly try to adjust it by observing other people's behaviors and matching my emotional reactions (I've heard people describe my personality and it differed a lot depending on the social group, and often wasn't even close to who I actually am). So at least half of my daily energy is wasted on performance.

Additionally, my most present emotions are anger and hate. Since I think very highly of myself, I get offended easily and rarely forgive anyone. This includes myself - if I make a mistake or fail at something, it feels like my chest is about to burst from rage, and it's difficult to calm down. I've been fantasizing about torturing and murdering people on a daily basis for years, partly as an outlet for anger and partly just for fun.

I automatically hide most of my emotions to the point where I'm unable to express happiness or surprise the way neurotypicals do. In general, I rather enjoy thinking rationally and despise emotional reactions as they never really help solving a problem. I may seem cold and apathetic when unmasked, and I often get confused trying to identify my own emotions.

That's all I could think of for now. Spending a lot of time alone gave me the chance to do a great amount of self-reflection, which isn't always nice as I tend to overanalyse everything, but it helps to get a better understanding of myself and my relationship to others.

I hope this small insight helps - Let me know if something's not clear or if you have any other follow-up questions!

#ask #schizoid #szpd #npd #actually npd #schizoid personality disorder #narcissistic personality disorder

[yjano]

Never The Same.

Part 12.

Pairings: Jake x Mc.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, angst, smut, other pairings;), traumatic experiences.

Words: 6.5k

Author's note: Honestly, this story is going to be a big piece of work and a lot of angst. It's not connected to the game at all. Because I always want to try something new and newer. Read it only if you're into angst stories, please. Thank you and let's go!

.

Jake focus.

.

A serious look formed on my face as soon as I got out of his car. Immediately Kaden got out after me and we exchanged a knowing look. The both of us had an appointment with Thomas today and thus we had driven to Russell's main building.

The two of us were currently standing in front of a huge skyscraper on the outer skirts of Duskwood. Even though the building was a bit smaller than the main building of red crew corporations it was still an impressive building to see.

Anyone who knew who this skyscraper belonged to knew that some sketchy things were going on behind the spotless windows and expensive-looking exterior. Thomas was no saint and neither were the people that worked for him.

The man was powerful in the underworld and while he wasn't on my level of power, he knew damn well how to handle his business. Or at least how to tell the men below him how to run it.

"Come on, let's get inside," I spoke as soon as my guards got out of the car too. I wasn't dumb, I knew damn well not to enter another leader-boss building without having some protection. I had brought four buff-looking men with me and while I knew damn well that wouldn't be enough if Thomas wanted to hurt me. I also knew that the man wouldn't be stupid enough to do so.

Thomas was impulsive, however, he was also very smart. If he wanted to become more powerful than me, he wouldn't be the one who would bring the biggest criminal in Duskwood down, he would have someone else do it. Someone like my stepbrother.

What Thomas didn't know however was that I knew damn well what it was that Thomas was trying to do and thus I had come here with one goal and one goal only. Convince him, he would rather have me as an ally instead of as an enemy. I would make sure Thomas knew he wouldn't stand a chance against me if he decided to choose Tegan over me and Kaden as his ally.

Soon all of us were standing in front of two big glass doors which would lead us inside Thomas's building and a sly smirk made its way onto my face. It was showtime and I would make sure it would all work out just like I had planned. Immediately once we walked inside a few of Thomas's men ran up to us.

"Halt!" One of them screamed. An annoyed look became visible on my face and I looked at the man as if he was some kind of pest.

Once the guard noticed he had just told the most powerful man of the underworld to halt his whole face became pale and he nodded his head to show his respect.

"I'm sorry Mr. Dalton. I'll let one of the men bring you to Mr. Russell." The guard apologized before quickly turning around and getting out of there as fast as he could. Everyone in this industry knew not to mess with me or I'd make sure you would regret it.

A scoff left my mouth as soon as the man was out of sight. However, I quickly turned my attention to Kaden again.

"You made sure everything is perfectly planned right?" I asked my brother who softly nodded in return.

"There is no way any of this can go wrong. Thomas would be a fool if he won't take this deal." Kaden answered before a sly smirk began to form on his face.

The past couple of days Kaden had invested a lot of time in trying to get a deal ready with one of the biggest drug laboratories. The drugs were supposed to arrive in Duskwood next week and he and I were gonna offer Thomas half of the profit if the man managed to arrange for his men to bring the drugs to one of red crew corporation's buildings.

From there on I and Kaden would be able to hand them to our dealers to sell them.

Of course, red crew corporation could easily bring those drugs to our buildings ourselves. However, we needed to make sure Thomas would trust us completely and thus we needed the man to work with us together on an easy job like this.

Thomas would love the amount of money coming his way and he would want to work with us together in the future. He would be told we needed his men to do it to confuse the police but the reality was far from that.

Soon all of us got into a fancy-looking elevator and a serious look began to cross my face once again. Within a few minutes, I would be standing in front of someone who knew exactly where my stepbrother was hiding. He had some information that was very valuable to me and I would do anything to get my hands on it.

It didn't take long for the elevator to reach its destination and as soon as the doors opened again all of us quickly got out. Immediately my eyes fell upon the man I had come here for.

Thomas was lazily sitting on a big couch in the middle of the room while an arrogant smirk was displayed on his face. He was surrounded by at least ten girls who were wearing way too short skirts and crop tops. All of them were completely hypnotized by Russell's presence and were practically offering themselves to him.

On the two chairs next to the couch where Thomas was sitting where two of his closest men were seated. Haden was the tactical expert of Russell's business and the man was a true genius when it came to anything business related. The man was lazy sitting back in his chair while a bored look was displayed on his face.

Next to him was Richy sitting. Richy could easily be described as Thomas's right-hand man. The man was an expert in the fighting, technical, and business area of Russell's business and I was pretty sure that without Richy, Thomas would have never been where he was now. Thomas might be the boss but it was Richy who was the brain behind it all.

However unfortunately for Thomas. Richy knew this too. Lately, the male had been double-crossing his boss for him to take over the business. With Thomas out of the way he could easily do so and thus Richy had decided to team up with red crew corporations.

He had been sending Kaden information nonstop and the two of them had come to the agreement that the sooner Thomas would be gone the better. After that red crew corporations would help Richy take over Russell's business.

Richy would surely be a great ally for us, now the only thing we had to do was get the information we needed from Thomas before we could get rid of the naive man because unfortunately for us. No one other than Thomas himself knew about Tegan's whereabouts.

Thomas himself didn't know anything about these plans at all. The male was way too naive. He thought by teaming up with Tegan he could get rid of me and become the biggest leader boss in Duskwood. However, he should have known things don't work like that.

No one fucks me over and gets away with it. Too bad for Thomas that he would only find out about all of this right before a bullet would be planted in between his eyes.

As soon as Thomas noticed me, he immediately got up from the couch and a smirk became visible on his face.

"My dearest friend! Welcome to my humble home." He spoke in a confident tone while gesturing at two of his girls.

"Why don't you two make sure my guest feels welcome? He's single again so make sure he enjoys himself." Thomas spoke in a sly tone while amusement was visible on his face.

Immediately I clenched my jaw while an annoyed look became visible on my face. Thomas was pushing my limits already and I had to put in some real effort to act nice to the man. Soon the two girls reached me and before I knew it they both grabbed my arm.

"Hi, daddy." The brunette one spoke while winking at me and biting her bottom lip seductively. The other one immediately leaned in and began to whisper in my ear.

"Why don't we go somewhere more private hm?"

Kaden softly began to laugh next to me while an amused look began to form on his face. He knew me well enough to know that I didn't like these things at all. I was more of a business-only man.

Immediately a disgusted look began to form on my face and I softly pushed both girls away from me.

"I'd rather talk about what I came here for. You can keep those girls for yourself, I'm not interested." I spoke, annoyance lacing my voice.

"Very well then." Thomas then answered with a smirk on his face. The man then gestured towards a big table in the back of the room. Immediately Richy and Haden got up from their seats too and walked towards the table together with me and Kaden.

Richy briefly locked eyes with Kaden and both males smirked at each other. Richy and Kaden had been friends forever and they knew each other inside out. The fact that soon Richy would take over this business was not only nice for the guy himself but also very beneficial for red crew corporations. It would only be a matter of time before the two companies would be the most feared allies in all of Duskwood.

As soon as all of us sat down, Haden immediately opened his laptop again while waiting for the meeting to start. He wouldn't risk missing anything. The guy was way too precise for that. Thomas might like doing things at random but he certainly did not.

"Ladies please leave the room," Thomas spoke in a demanding tone before taking place on a chair himself. Immediately all the girls got up and left the room as fast as they could.

A relieved sigh left my mouth and immediately Kaden began to laugh loudly. Of course, my brother wasn't blind. Lately, a certain girl has been occupying my mind and thus it was as clear as crystal that I didn't like all those girls trying to get my attention.

As soon as everyone was seated Kaden began to tell everything about his plan. How he needed Thomas's men to move the drugs to my buildings to confuse the police. Of course, as soon as Haden told his boss how much profit they would make from doing something so easy. Thomas's eyes lit up and a smirk became visible on his face.

"I must say I like this idea, Dalton," Thomas spoke amused while locking eyes with me.

"Consider this to be a deal." He then spoke before standing up and walking towards where I was sitting. Immediately I got up as well and a surprised look became visible on my face as soon as the other man held out his hand for me to shake. However, I soon regained my posture before shaking the other's hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Dalton." He then spoke with a smirk on his face. The man must think that we were hella stupid to pay this much for such a simple task. However, he didn't know why we did it at all. A small smirk began to form on my face as well and I locked eyes with Thomas.

"Believe me, the pleasure is all mine."

.

Mc focus.

.

A small giggle left my mouth as I stepped out of the elevator and into the dark apartment. I had a great night together with Jessy and Lex and even though I didn't like to admit it, I probably had a little too much to drink. Of course, I wasn't completely drunk, I just felt a bit more wobbly on my legs than usual.

I had always been a lightweight when it came to alcoholic beverages. I only needed two to three drinks for the alcohol to begin kicking in while my friends most of the time didn't even feel a thing yet.

The fact that I drank too much today was a special sight to see. I knew very well how much I could drink before getting drunk and thus I never crossed my limit.

After the party one of the bodyguards that had come with the trio to protect us had driven the three of us home because none of us was still able to drive a car. The man had looked out for the three of us all night to make sure we could enjoy our night while not having to worry about any of the red crew corporation's enemies.

Jake would have surely killed him if anything had happened to us. Anyone in Jake Dalton's inner circle was important to him and thus the man couldn't take any risk in letting us out of his sight.

Slowly I began to make my way through the pitch-black apartment while squeezing my eyes to slits to try and see something. I didn't want to fall face-first to the floor due to a piece of furniture that I had missed and thus I stuck out both my arms in front of me while trying to touch anything surrounding me.

Another small giggle left my mouth at the thought of how I would look right now. Anyone who would turn on the lights now and notice my position would surely think I was some sort of weirdo who needed to be locked up in some sort of asylum.

However, I didn't care at all. My sight was already slightly spinning and I wasn't risking hurting myself. Jake was probably already asleep so I didn't need to worry about him.

After what felt like forever I finally found my way toward my and Jake's shared bedroom and slowly opened the door. A small light was still burning in the room and a sigh left my mouth. At least I could see where I was going now without having to panic about knocking over some stuff.

A small smile made its way onto my face as soon as I noticed Jake sleeping in the bed. He had a serene look on his face and his lips were slightly parted. A calm atmosphere hung around him and I almost got the need to softly squeeze his cheeks.

"Okay Mc, just be quiet or else you will wake him," I spoke to myself before making my way over to the closet and taking out one of my pajamas.

I quickly looked Jake's way only to realize he was still sleeping peacefully and thus I started to take my clothes off. Jake couldn't see anything anyway with his eyes closed so there was no reason for me to change in the bathroom.

Once I changed my fancy clothes for pajamas I quickly walked over to my side of the bed before comfortably laying down and putting the covers over myself.

Of course, I tried to do this all with as less moves as possible. Unfortunately for me though the other still began to stir a bit in his sleep and my eyes grew big. It felt like a crime to wake him up from his well-deserved sleep.

It was already too late however because before I knew it two strong arms circled my waist and pulled me closer to the other side of the bed. A sad look became visible on my face and I stuck out my bottom lip a bit.

"I'm sorry for waking you up Jake." I apologized in a sad tone. I tried so hard not to wake up him and yet here he was awake and it was entirely my fault. However, to my surprise, Jake softly began to laugh before pressing a kiss on my cheek.

"I wasn't sleeping, baby." He confessed before sending a wink my way. Immediately I raised both my eyebrows while a confused look made its way onto my face.

"But you had your eyes closed?"

Jake slowly moved both his hands to my sides before caressing them.

"How can I sleep without knowing you got home safely?" He then spoke before swiftly turning me in his arms around so that I was facing him. Immediately a red blush began to appear on my cheeks and I buried my face in his chest, a nervous feeling slowly taking me over completely.

Flashes of the kiss the two of us had shared earlier today suddenly invaded my mind and an excited feeling began to overtake me. I wanted to kiss Jake again and while I normally never would have dared to do something like that the alcohol I had consumed this evening was giving me a huge confidence boost.

Without thinking twice I leaned back a bit only to come face to face with Jake. A loving smile was visible on his face and thus I decided to just go for it.

Before I knew it my lips touched the soft ones of Jake and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Immediately Jake reacted by grabbing me by my hips and pulling me ever closer.

Slowly Jake began to lead our kiss in a slow kiss while a smirk began to form on his face. I began to try and speed up the pace at which we were kissing.

However, a surprised yelp left my mouth as soon as Jake bit down on my bottom lip. A rush of excitement shot up my spine and I looked at him with big eyes.

Jake however was still smirking and slowly began to kiss me again, this time licking my bottom lip to gain entrance to my mouth. Quickly I responded by parting my lips lightly and before I knew it I was following Jake's lead in our kiss once again. Softly Jake began to pinch my hips and as if on cue I wrapped one of my legs around his torso.

Slowly his hands moved to my butt cheeks and he softly began to knee them. Another rush of excitement shot up my spine and I pulled him even closer than before. I loved everything he was doing to me and I would make sure Jake knew that.

Jake began to speed up the pace at which the two of us were kissing and it didn't take long before I began to moan softly. A proud smirk began to form on Jake's face as he moved one of his hands to the back of my head.

He suddenly broke our kiss by slightly pulling my head back before moving on to my collarbone. A loud moan left my mouth as Jake began to suck violently at it and my eyes grew big. This felt so damn good to me and I got more and more excited.

However, unfortunately, Jake suddenly detached his lips from my collarbone again and looked proudly at the hickey he had made.

.

Jake focus.

.

I liked marking my territory and by this hickey, everyone would see that Mc was mine and mine only. No one would even dare to come close to her.

After admiring the art I had made on her. I looked up with a loving smile on my face and I briefly pecked her on her soft lips once again. She looked at me with a displeased look on her face.

"Seriously? That's it?"

Softly I began to laugh again. Of course, I had felt her pulsating down there and not to mention her wetness there and I wasn't gonna lie, I was damn excited too. However, the fact was also that Mc wasn't completely herself due to the alcohol in her system.

I wasn't going to take advantage of her now. As much as I loved to hear the pleasurable moans of Mc, I didn't want to take advantage of her.

"Baby you're drunk. I won't do anything you might regret in the morning." I then spoke before pressing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Now sleep, you look tired." I then commanded and softly Mc nodded. Maybe it was for the best indeed to not go further tonight. We would have plenty of time left anyway. It didn't take long before both of us peacefully fell asleep in each other's arms.

.

Mc focus.

.

A smile made its way onto my face as I walked through the doors of Jake's office. Today another meeting was scheduled to talk about Kaden's and Jake's meeting with the other leader and I couldn't be more excited.

I was hella excited to also have a voice in this conversation while I still wasn't used to this way of life I still would do my best to be of any help.

Now more than ever I felt like I was truly a part of this group of people. I and Jake were growing closer and closer and I was very curious about what the next step in our relationship would be. Whatever it was I was truly excited for anything that was still to come.

Even though Jake didn't say it directly to me, I just knew that he was also excited about it. The spark in his eyes every time I and him came close to each other wasn't something I had missed.

I had begun to pay more and more attention to the guy who I had been so afraid of at first and I truly thought the two of us could have something amazing together.

Once again Helena was asked to serve Jake and his friends and thus the girl stood next to the coffee machine while waiting for it to finish a cup of coffee it was making. A nervous look was once again displayed on her face and a pitiful feeling began to make its way into my chest.

She would feel better and more confident eventually but that was very clear to me and not to Helena. For her, she was forced to be in the presence of the people she feared the most while in reality, they were pretty harmless if they liked you.

If they didn't like you then the only advice I could give that person was to run for your life and even that probably wouldn't work.

"Sit down baby." Jake softly whispered into my ear as he noticed me staring at the girl near the coffee machine. Immediately I softly shook my head to get rid of all the thoughts in my head and walked over to the table before sitting down on a chair.

A soft red blush began to appear on my cheeks and I quickly looked down. If Jessy or Lex would notice it they would surely never stop teasing me about it.

Back when the three of us had gone to the party together they wouldn't stop asking questions about Jake and me. They wanted every damn detail I could give them and they wouldn't stop until I would spill them all.

"So as you all know me and Kaden had a meeting with Thomas yesterday." Jake opened the meeting while Helena began to serve coffee. A serious look was displayed on Jake's face and he slowly looked around the table before placing his elbows on it.

"Thomas agreed to the plan me and Kaden prepared and right now we are busy gaining his trust to get some information from him," He spoke with a sly smirk on his face.

"He didn't notice a thing about the whole plan being a big setup." He added before picking up his hot coffee and softly blowing on the dark brown liquid for it to cool down a bit. Softly Kaden began to nod before taking over from his brother.

"Richy is still on board with everything. He will remain our man on the inside and he'll bring us information once a week. The moment Thomas is out of the way it will be him taking over." Kaden said in a serious tone while looking at everyone present. Slowly the others began to nod, indicating that they understood everything that was told to them.

"The deal we've made up for him isn't beneficial for red crew corporations at all, but it is needed to gain his trust." Jake then spoke again before focusing his attention on Asher.

"Did you look into the finances?" He asked the quiet guy with a serious look on his face. Immediately the brown-haired boy began to nod.

"I did. It isn't a good deal for us but we should be fine even with the money we will lose from this." The financial expert of red crew corporations spoke in a confident tone.

It was as clear as crystal that this guy knew everything there was to know about the financial side of this all. No way Asher would be wrong in that department. Softly Jake nodded before looking around once again.

"Tonight, Sam, Kaden, and Dan have another meeting scheduled with Thomas. This time he will visit us and we expect him to arrive around 9." Jake then confidently spoke while a small grin made its way onto his face.

"Let's make sure he'll feel very welcomed."

Once Jake was finished Dan slowly began to take over.

"My men have been looking everywhere for Tegan and Valerie and they have spotted the both of them multiple times on the south side of Duskwood," Dan said before focusing on Jake.

"I ordered them to follow them around if they spot the two again and until then we will be watching the south part closely."

Softly Jake nodded while a grin began to form on his face.

"Good. We need to find them as soon as possible." He spoke in a sly tone while a big smirk was visible on his face.

"Let's hope we find them soon." Jake then spoke before a small laugh left his mouth. A wicked smile began to form on his face and a dark look was visible in his eyes. He was planning something and by the looks of it, it wasn't anything good.

~

A soft laugh left my mouth as Jessy made another funny comment about how she and Dan had been making out in the elevator before they got busted by some guard. A truly happy feeling was inside my chest and I smiled brightly.

Currently, I, Jessy, and Lef were inside Jake's apartment while talking about all kinds of things. Since the two of their boyfriends and Jake, all had a meeting with Thomas so we decided to hang out together and enjoy the evening.

"You should have seen the look on the guard's face, he was so embarrassed." Jessy then continued her story while softly shaking her head.

"Ohh by the way Mc have you and Jake already fucked?"

Immediately my eyes grew big upon hearing Jessy suddenly change the subject. A deep red blush began to form on my face and I immediately looked away.

Jessy and Lex both knew that I and Jake had kissed but somehow I still got shy about this question.

"No." I softly answered back, a shy tone lacing my voice. I hadn't even thought about the two of us in that way before.

Sure I might have been a little bold with my actions when I was drunk and my body did want more than Jake had given me that night but that didn't count according to me. Whenever you are drunk people should know that you aren't in the right mind state.

"Oh come on, you are so boring." Lex then piped in, a big smirk visible on her face. The girl's blue curls softly bounced up and down as a laugh left her mouth and her eyes narrowed to slits.

Jessy on the other hand was looking at me as if I had just become her new project. She looked me in the eyes before she began to smirk too.

"To be honest I'm really surprised you haven't fucked." Jessy then spoke before raising both her eyebrows.

"Jake isn't normally the type to patiently wait for someone to be ready." Jessy then spoke before sending a smile my way.

"The fact that he does wait for you makes you quite special you know."

A deep red blush became visible on my face and I felt my whole face heating up. Of course, I thought Jake was very attractive and I did like him a lot but I felt so awkward talking about this stuff.

Especially if I wasn't even sure if Jake would want anything other than kissing and having sex from me. Maybe he had other intentions than me and then I would only end up getting hurt when Jake would replace me for someone else.

"Are you a virgin Mc?" Lex asked, a curious tone lacing her voice. Immediately my eyes grew big and I swallowed hard.

A soft sigh left my mouth and I softly shook my head. As much as I wanted to be a virgin, I wasn't. I and some guy I had met in college had sex together after a party. The two of us had been completely wasted and the only thing I could remember of that night was that it was very painful. At least I hoped my second time would be better than my first.

"Good!" Lex exclaimed happily before a happy smile made its way onto her face.

"You like Jake right?" She then continued before a smirk made its way onto her face while locking eyes with me. Softly I nodded my head again and Jessy now began to smirk too.

"And you want you two to be more than friends, right?" Jessy asked, an excited tone lacing her voice. The two girls were extremely excited and they knew exactly what they had to do to get me and Jake to the next step of our relationship.

Softly I nodded again and before I knew it both girls grabbed one of my hands before dragging me toward the bathroom. A shocked look made its way onto my face and before I knew it Lex was styling my hair while Iessy was picking out some other clothes for me.

"What are you two doing?" I asked, a shocked tone still lacing my voice. My two friends however completely ignored me and continued whatever the hell they were doing.

Before I knew it I had a completely different hairstyle and Jessy had picked out some other clothes for me to wear.

"This isn't my top, it's Jake's," I spoke as soon as I saw the way too big blouse in Jessy's hands. A big smirk began to form on her face once again and she send a wink my way.

"I know, that's why I picked it out in the first place. Knowing Jake, he'll go crazy once he sees how good you look in his clothes."

Immediately a deep red blush began to form on my face once again and I slowly took the clothes from Jessy's hands before looking at both my friends with a questioning look on my face.

"Why are you both trying to make me all pretty?" I asked, a curious tone lacing my voice.

"We want you and Jake to have a fun night. If you get what I mean." Jessy then spoke before winking once again. Immediately my mouth fell open slightly before my heart picked up its pace.

Sure thinking about being close to Jake excited me a lot but I didn't want to come across as needy. I was anything but that.

"Now change, we'll wait outside," Lex spoke before turning around and leaving the bathroom, followed by Jessy.

A deep sigh left my mouth and I looked at the pieces of clothing Jessy had picked out for me. A black blouse combined with a black skirt.

The outfit would look great if it wasn't for the fact that this blouse would be way too big on me. Jake would sure think I look ridiculous. A heavy sigh left my lips once again before I slowly began to change my clothes. Let's hope Jake wouldn't think I was a complete weirdo.

~

A nervous feeling was present in my chest and I took a deep breath in through my nose before letting the air out through my mouth again. Jessy and Lex had left an half hour ago and now I was waiting for Jake to come home.

I had been all dolled up by my two friends. The two girls had made sure I looked stunning so that Jake would in no way be able to resist me. The fact that things like these made me very uncomfortable was something nobody had noticed.

To me, things like these felt as if I was offering Jake to fuck me, which I was. Sure I wasn't so certain about that fact myself or if I even wanted things to happen like this but I couldn't disappoint my friends right?

Jessy and Lex had decorated the whole apartment with candles and rose petals and even I looked amazing due to those two. I couldn't let all their effort go to waste right?

Suddenly a loud ping sounded through the room, indicating that the elevator had stopped at this floor. That could only mean Jake would have arrived back home. My heart began to stammer in my chest and a nervous feeling began to take over my whole body.

He would surely think I was nuts for presenting myself to him like this.

It didn't take long before heavy footsteps sounded through the room and I inhaled sharply. There was no way out of this stupid idea now. I couldn't blow out at least 100 candles and clean up all the rose petals before Jake would enter the living room. He would think I was crazy and he had every right to think so. I thought so too.

.

Jake focus.

.

"Baby? What is all this?" I spoke as soon as I entered the room. My eyes immediately fell upon the small flickering candles and all the rose petals. A delicious sweet smell filled my nostrils and while the whole room was very prettily decorated, my eyes only had attention on Mc as soon as I noticed the small girl on my couch.

I immediately recognized the blouse she was wearing as one of mine and my eyes grew big at how good she looked in it. Slowly I licked my bottom lip before quickly walking towards the couch and sitting next to Mc.

To me, Mc was the definition of perfect. The girl's skirt was complimenting her tiny waist and the oversized blouse which belonged to me made her super sexy to me. Everything about Mc invited me in...From her plumb shiny lips to her character. Everything about this girl was perfect.

"I know, I look ridiculous," Mc answered me before lifting her hands and hiding her face behind them.

"I knew you wouldn't like things like this."

Immediately I took hold of Mc's hands and removed them from her face before planting a soft kiss on her beautiful lips. She slowly looked up to meet my eyes. A small smile was visible on my face and a hint of love could be spotted in my eyes.

"Don't ever say that you look, ridiculous baby, you're always beautiful. And I do like things like these but judging from the nervous look on your face I'm guessing this wasn't entirely your idea?" I asked before softly caressing her knuckles with my thumb. A soft smile was visible on my face and I looked at her with a questioning look visible in my eyes.

"No, it wasn't. Jessy and Lex thought we needed this to take the next step in our relationship." Mc then confessed before her cheeks begin to heat up. Quickly she lowered her face a bit and stared down.

"Baby look up." I softly spoke before placing a finger under her chin and softly pushing her head up again so that the two of us could lock our eyes.

"Don't do things you're not ready for yet. As much as I would love to have you all for myself and show you exactly how much I appreciate you, I want us both to be completely comfortable." I spoke before sending a loving smile her way.

"I'm more than willing to wait for you baby."

.

Mc focus.

.

Without thinking twice I suddenly placed both my hands on Jake's shoulders before pulling him closer and pressing our lips together. Immediately Jake's eyes grew big, however, he soon recovered from his shock and quickly placed one of his hands behind my head and the other on my thigh.

It didn't take long before Jake took the lead in our kiss and he softly bit down on my bottom lip. A soft yelp left my mouth and he immediately took advantage of me slightly parting my lips by pushing his tongue inside my mouth.

Immediately I began to follow his lead and before I knew it the two of us were sharing touch after touch. A soft moan left my moan once Jake began to speed up our pace and quickly I pulled the other even closer than before.

Unfortunately, we soon had to gasp for air and thus both of us broke apart from each other. We both had a dark red blush on our faces and I began to feel shy again. I had no idea where my sudden boldness had come from but I knew I loved kissing Jake a lot.

Jake made my stomach twist and turn. in the best way possible and I loved having him close. I couldn't even see my future without him in it anymore. This all felt so right to me.

"You know I stick with the words I said earlier but you're making it damn hard for me to resist you, baby," Jake whispered inside my ear, and immediately goosebumps ran down my spine. However soon a small smile began to form on Jake's face as he softly kissed my cheek.

"Don't rush yourself though. We have enough time."

A small smile began to form on my face and I leaned into the kiss I was receiving on my cheek while a loved feeling began to spread through my body.

"I promise I'll make it worth waiting." I spoke when Jake removed his lips from my cheek again and softly began to laugh before taking me into a tight embrace.

"There is no doubt in my mind that you will."

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #jake x mc #mc and jake #duskwood family #duskwood fandom #duskwood fanfiction

[wysteriaz-blog]

Two Worlds Collided & They Could Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 1: The Beginning

You somehow end up lost in Japan, having little to no memory of your life before, or any understanding of the land and people here. But you meet extraordinary individuals, who over time become very important to your new life as you travel and fight together, forming unbreakable bonds.

However, with a centuries-old war between a secrect organization and demons waging on, these bonds are put to the test when you find yourself caught in the center of it all.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Hello and welcome!

Before you read, there are some things to know about this fic. I know it's long, but this fic is gonna be fairly long, and so are the chapters lol. Anyways, let's get to it!

I originally posted this on AO3, which you can find here! I'll be updating this story on AO3 first, as I find it much easier to work with. I'll slowly be adding more chapters here. This is also cross-posted on Wattpad, which can be found here!

Now then, onto the other important stuff about this fic!

First: This story will be canon divergent, meaning it will follow the original Demon Slayer story up until a certain point, and with a bit of a twist. Some things will be changed—added or removed—to fit the story. So certain characters, situations and dialogues may be slightly or completely different throughout the story!

All characters are aged up (18+) as there will be: language, blood/gore, violence, death, suggestive themes, and more as the story progresses. I will have warnings in the notes before a chapter if any are needed, so please be mindful!!

And as a side note, this is not an Isekai! You the reader, also known as Y/n, are an actual part of this world! And I've made her/you descriptionless for the most part, so you are able to picture her/you however you'd like and feel more immersed.

Second: Italicized text (dialogue) is spoken in Japanese and plain text is in English.

Third: I don't have an update schedule and I apologize if you get bored waiting! But please understand that I am human and have a job, friends/family, and other priorities such as my own mental and physical health in life to worry about. It takes time and energy to write, especially since most chapters are anywhere between 10k–20k words long, so I greatly appreciate your understanding and patience!! As a little gift to show my appreciation (and so you don't think that I've abandoned the story lol), I usually post at least one sneak peek for the next chapter that I'm working on while ya'll wait for an update ♡

[Sneek Peaks are AO3 and Wattpad exclusive!]

And last but not least: I plan for this to be a choose your own ending—hooray! Whenever I read other stories that have multiple romantic interests, I usually end up liking all of the characters, so I've decided I wanted to try and make this story where you get to pick at the end and have a chance to read all of the different endings! My plan is to make good endings, as well as some endings for the people who enjoy angst and suffering mweheheh! What can I say...? I love to indulge myself and I'm a sucker for pain in all forms—whether it be dying from wholesome overload or a broken heart—and that luckily (or unluckily) includes you heueheheu...!! (・`ω・´)

(Please note that only certain characters will be available as romantic interests, as I may not be able to write them in a way that I think would fit the narrative, or I simply feel like I won't be able to do them justice as I don't know/connect with their character well enough! More characters may be added later on or even removed, so keep that in mind...)

Oh, one more thing! I appreciate everyone who's taken the time to read this, give it kudos/likes, and leave so many amazing comments!! I also encourage you to let me know what think and feel as you read. It not only motivates me, but it also helps me figure out where I may need to improve, and while this is mainly self-indulgent, I want other people to be able to enjoy it as well!

Anyways, I'll stop boring you now and just say... I really appreciate you all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing so much love and support!!! That's all and I hope you enjoy!

*.ﾟ+ヽ(○･▽･○)ﾉﾞ +.ﾟ*

▪︎☆°○°☆ Playlist ☆°○°☆▪︎

[This is currently in progress and this work is also under major editing! You may notice very slight or big changes in every chapter (the addition or removal of scenes, grammar/spelling errors, etc...) and I thank you all for taking the time to read. Thank you~]

Your eyes slowly open, blinking a few times as they try to adjust to the bright light of the sun shining overhead. You find yourself lying on the ground in a serene setting, but something feels off. There's a slight gust of wind as you push yourself up to take a moment to assess your surroundings, noticing that you are surrounded by an expansive plain of lush green fields stretching out as far as the eye can see, with forests and mountains dotting the horizon.

This place is not familiar; you don’t recognize a single piece of this land.

You're sitting just off of a dirt road, underneath a lone tree that has kept watch and somewhat protected you from the elements while you were unconscious. Confusion floods your mind as you try to recall how you ended up here. But to your dismay, your memory is as blank as a canvas, devoid of any recollection of the past. The absence of any recognizable landmarks or signs leaves you feeling disoriented and isolated. Panic begins to creep in, and questions buzz inside your mind like a swarm of bees.

Where are you?

How did you get here?

And more importantly... who are you?

You are only able to recall your first name... but anything more than that is a complete mystery.

You groan as you sit up even more and try to move, but your head begins pounding, and your leg feels incredibly sore. You must have been here for quite some time as you try to straighten out your leg from the uncomfortable way it was bent, feeling pinpricks as circulation rushes back into the limb. You also notice that your blouse and pants are fairly dirty, with a few places scuffed up but luckily not torn. Your throat feels dry and scratchy, and you're left to wonder just how long you've been out here.

Sighing, you try once more to stand up, but seeing as your leg won’t cooperate just yet, you give up on that thought and opt to just sit there with a dejected frown for the time being. You want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible, so you pray that, by some miracle, someone will come along to help you, and you can only hope that it's someone you know. But seeing as you have absolutely no idea where you are currently or who you even are, you try to keep your expectations low.

It seemed like luck was on your side in some form, as a loud squawk rings in the distance, sounding an awful lot like the call of a crow, which is then followed by a few yells that were most definitely human. You squint and spot the ebony-feathered bird flying up above in the distance, then cast your eyes downward to find a figure running below it, both of them heading right in your general direction. It sounds like a man given by the way their voice sounds as they yell, but it doesn't matter to you whether they are a man or woman, as you just want to get help. Hope flares in your chest as they seem to finally spot you, veering off of the dirt road to swiftly make their way straight towards you.

The crow lets out another loud caw and circles the air overhead as it reaches you, the man not far behind it. He's wearing some kind of uniform, with a black and green checkered coat. His hair looks to be a dark reddish brown, which is swept back but slightly messy, with a few looser pieces framing the sides of his face. As he gets even closer, you also take notice of a plum-sized scar on his forehead, and dangling from his ears are a pair of rectangular earrings that swing with every step he takes, your eyes drawn to the interesting pattern.

As he bounds over, he shouts once again, and you are slow to realize that he must be speaking to you because he's looking right at you and waving his hands... however, you don't understand a single word that escapes his mouth. 

"Hey! Are you okay?!"

You tilt your head forward, furrowing your brows, as you try your hardest to understand what he's saying. Even as you strain to take in every syllable with immense concentration, not a single word makes sense to you as your brain tries to pick them apart and put them together again.

Why couldn't you understand him?

Did you hit your head really hard?

"It's a good thing my crow spotted you! It seemed like you might need help. What..." He comes to a halt in front of you, his words trailing off as his eyes quickly scan you up and down, confusion mixing with the concerned look in his eyes. He has never seen someone like you before. A sheepish smile breaks out as he stops himself from staring, scratching his head. He quickly crouches down to your level, and his tone grows worried as he looks at you more closely, but he speaks softly so as not to scare you. "Ummm, are you okay? I apologize if this may seem rude, but why are you... here? Did something happen?"

You keep trying to focus and dissect the words, but still... nothing.

You shake your head, and the hope you had felt before dwindles down with nothing but a few sparks remaining. This... was not good. You don't know what he's saying; the words sound completely foreign to you, which could only mean that he was in fact speaking another language right now and that you didn't hit your head so hard that you forgot your own language. Considering that you are very much mentally and physically lost, this was not how you wanted this scenario to unfold, and the realization that you are stuck in the middle of nowhere with a stranger that doesn't speak the same language only adds to the turmoil in your mind right now.

"I... I don't know what you're saying," you say slowly, the words catching in your throat as you speak for what felt like the first time.

He appears a little shocked when he hears your own voice. You not only looked different, but you also spoke differently. His confusion and curiosity grow by the second as he continues to observe you. It's not every day that he comes across a foreigner. Sitting back on his heels, he looks to the sky and gains the attention of his crow by waving his arm around and calling out to it, and the bird swoops down to land on the outstretched limb.

Once he starts to speak to the bird, your hope of being saved from this peculiar situation you've found yourself in dwindles even further, until there's nothing left.

This whole thing was starting to become a little too much for you to process right now, especially in your current state. You are most definitely dehydrated and probably haven't eaten in a while, so your energy levels are extremely low and you feel weak. You desperately need to get things figured out right now, but how can he help you if you don't speak the same language, let alone understand each other? Not to mention... he's talking to a bird, and you’re pretty sure that that is not normal. He turns to you and speaks again, giving you a puzzled look, but all you do is just stare back at him. Only when he makes a gesture with his free hand by opening and closing his fingers together as he mouths words to you do you get an idea as to what he may be trying to say right now.

"Uhh, do you… want me to speak?"

The crow perched on his arm watches you intently, its wings flapping up as it caws loudly after you speak. You grimace at the loud noise, growing a little agitated when it makes the pounding in your head worse, but it's quickly forgotten in a moment. You're absolutely shocked and intrigued when the crow starts speaking as well, and not in just any language, but in English nonetheless!

"Girl, not from here? English! English is what you speak, yes?!"

"W-What?! Yes, correct... how did—"

Before you can even finish your sentence, though, the crow caws loudly once again and then speaks to the man in the other language, which your brain is now finally recognizing as Japanese.

Wait...

Japanese?

Then does that mean you are in Japan?

Why are you here, and more importantly, how did you get here?

The man rubs his chin thoughtfully as he nods along to the bird speaking to him, then turns his attention back to you. "Ehh... English?" he stammers a little, his brows slightly furrowed as he gazes at you.

You dumbly stare at him, your mind a little slow to catch up to what he had just said, but once it clicks, you nod and quickly try to get up in your newfound excitement. But the rushed movements cause you to clench your jaw and settle back down after causing some pain and discomfort to your tired and aching body. However, with the flames of hope rekindled, you can't stop grinning and ignore the pain.

Yes!

Maybe there is a chance that you'll find your way out of this confusing situation and figure out who you even are, how you ended up here, and where you live so that you could possibly go back home.

He notices the way you subtly wince in pain and fretfully raises his hands in concern, a frown making its way onto his face as he stops you from moving any more. He swiftly stands back up and holds his hands out towards you, lightly pushing them forward in a gesture for you to take hold. Instead of watching you try to painfully get up on your own, he's offering to help you. He's patient as you hesitate for a moment, slowly placing your hands in his as you look up at him momentarily to give him a curt nod, signaling that you are ready to stand up. He hoists you up with a lot more ease than you were expecting and keeps you steady with one of his hands lightly sliding to your arm. He loosens his grip around your joined palms, but he doesn't release his hold entirely so that you don't lose your balance and fall over.

"Thank you..." you mumble.

After a painfully awkward and very silent minute, you lightly pull away to give the hint that you feel strong enough to stand on your own now. He lets go of you with a small smile, happy that you seem to be fine for now. You can practically see the gears turning in his mind as he then looks off to the side for a moment. He slightly startles you as he suddenly perks up and turns back towards you with two fingers pointed down, making what appears to be a walking motion. You're quick to understand the gesture, so you give another short nod and grin a little as he eagerly nods along.

You're still a little shaky after being on the ground for so long, so you sway a little as you both start to walk, but he's quick to offer his arm for you to hold onto for support. Although you don't want to lean on a stranger so much, you're much too tired to be rejecting the support he's so kindly offering, so you reluctantly grasp onto him in fear of falling down and potentially hurting yourself even more. With your hands firmly secured around his bicep, you carefully walk away from the tree and head towards the dirt road. It proves to be a little difficult as the ground is uneven, and your legs are still trying to get used to being active again after who knows how long you've been out, but you slowly start to get the hang of it. As he continues to help you walk forward, you become lost in your thoughts once more. The dragging of your feet as well as the subtle change in your scent catch his attention.

He suddenly stops walking, turning to face you as his expression shifts, quietly observing you. His gaze holds a gentle kind of warmth that you're entirely unfamiliar with, sympathy and genuine care gleaming from within deep pools of red, and for some reason... you don't think that you've ever had such kindness directed at you before. Not even from a person that you might have known in the past. And yet, here he was—a total stranger—looking at you as if you had value... as if... you actually mattered. 

Why...?

How can someone be so gentle, compassionate, and warm?

You don't know why, but those thoughts and feelings nearly make you want to cry; however, you manage to hold yourself together and maintain eye contact for just a few more moments. But it almost feels too intimate to have someone look at you in such a way, as if they were trying to look past what was right in front of them and peek into your very soul. And you don't believe that your soul was meant to be viewed with such closeness and care; it makes you nervous, something deep down inside telling you that you weren't worthy of such things. So, you quickly look away and try to appear as nonchalant as you possibly can. But you're unaware that he has a keen sense of smell, although your scent is very faint, and he's able to pick up on your emotions right now, which are a swirling mix of confusion, anxiety, fear, and sadness…

He’s always been so sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, and you were no exception, even if you were harder to read.

He glances in the direction that he was heading in earlier before coming across you, then his gaze slowly falls back onto you. You were clearly very lost, so he couldn't just leave you here. Not that he planned on doing so anyway. He’s hoping to find a nearby village or town where you might be able to receive better help, as he was heading to a mission and needed to focus on it, but you would be safe with him for the time being. And even though you don't understand each other, he thinks it would be best to make sure that you are okay with following him. Seeming to have luck communicating with you by using his hands and making simple gestures before, he tries once more to get your attention and convey his intentions.

"Do you," he begins by pointing at you, then pointing to himself, "want to follow me? I'm on my way to a mission, but maybe we can find a place along the way and you can get help?" He makes the same walking motion as before as he continues to speak, then points at you again before holding his hand up to his chest and clenching his fist. "You can accompany me, and I'll make sure you're safe until then."

You watch his actions intently. While spoken words may be difficult to understand, body language is fairly easy to decipher if you pay close enough attention, which is exactly what you do. And you think that you get the gist of what he is trying to tell you. He must be asking you to follow him, and while he is a stranger and you should probably be much more wary, you are extremely tired, weak, and very much lost. You have no idea where to go from here. But he most likely knows where the closest town or city is located, so it only makes sense to follow him. He's also been very kind and helpful thus far; he didn't have to go out of his way to help you, but he chose to spare his time to come check on you—a random person that he found laying on the ground in the middle of nowhere—when he could have easily just minded his own business.

Sadly, not a lot of people would have shown as much sympathy as he has. If someone else had come across you, it's very likely that they would have just left you to rot there. So, you're quite lucky that he was the one to find you. As you see it, there really isn't any other option, so you nod and give a quick thumbs up. He grins once more and slowly leads you down the road, heading in the direction of his mission and where you will hopefully find a village on the way.

After around half an hour of walking, a bunch of shouts and wails can be heard in the distance. You both frown and slightly pick up the pace, curious to find out where the noise is coming from. The shouting gets closer as you make it to the top of a little hill, and you see two figures in the middle of the road, about one hundred yards away from where you stand. It appears to be a woman and a man; he's dressed all in yellow and orange, and his hair is just as brightly colored. He's on the ground, his hands clinging to the woman's clothing as he appears to grovel at her feet. The woman, on the other hand, seems frazzled, and it looks like she's trying to shake him off without having to get too physical, but to no avail.

"I'm begging you, please, marry me! I'll die any day now, and I don't want to die alone!!"

Was this… a lover's quarrel?

In the middle of nowhere?

You and the man with the checkered coat briefly glance at each other, confusion sweeping over your faces.

"What on earth...?" he mumbles to himself.

"Marry meeeee," the man in the distance warbles pathetically. The woman tries to break away from his grasp, but he doesn't budge. "Please, find it within your heart to give me a chance before I inevitably die!!"

A little sparrow quickly flies over, chirping wildly as it lands on your new companion's hand. It seems distressed as it hops around in his palm, its small wings flapping about frantically. This causes a look of concern to cross his face.

"Yes...?" His brows shoot up as its chirps grow more desperate. "Huh...? Okay, I'll try to help!"

Was he... talking to the little bird? First the crow, and now this?

The crow was easier to accept because it actually talked like a person, but this sounded like your average sparrow. You must be going crazy or something because last time you checked, humans and birds did not speak to each other, but he somehow understood them. Little did you know that his ability to understand them was linked with his heightened sense of smell; he is able to perceive things outside of the normal range of perception, such as the feelings and thoughts of other living things.

So, he could understand animals if he really concentrated.

He takes off with the little, round-shaped bird, and you rush after him, not wanting to be left behind. Once he gets close enough to the couple, he promptly grabs onto the back of the man's attire, effectively cutting off his wailing as he drags him away from the woman.

His voice is still mellow, even as he rebukes the man with a rather cross look. "What are you doing? Why are you making such a scene in the middle of the road?! She's clearly not interested in you! Also, you're stressing your sparrow out! So could you please stop this nonsense?!"

The man chokes on air after being yanked away from the woman so suddenly. Your new companion looks down at him with a scowl as the man cries and yells even more while trying to grab the woman again. She turns her face away and takes a step back, ignoring his pleas. He blubbers incoherently, tears streaming down his face as he rambles on. But clearly, whatever he was blubbering about was somewhat comprehensive, as the woman immediately screeches very angrily and points her finger at him. She looks like she wants to leap over and smack him as she clenches her fists by her sides, but she miraculously holds herself back.

After a few moments, your companion slowly releases the other man as he seems to calm down a little.

The blond stares at him with a tilt of his head as he's released, sniffling pitifully and wiping at his nose. "Wait... that uniform," his eyes widen a fraction, and he gasps, "aren't you the guy from... Final Selection? I know you!"

"What?" Your companion's face twists. "Don't go pretending like we know each other, cause we don't.. 'kay? You're not getting out of trouble by trying to associate with me."

"HUAAAGH?! But.. we have met! Don’t you remember?! I was standing right by your side at Final Selection as we chose which ore to have our blades forged with! Don't get angry at me when you're the one with a terrible memory!!"

You zone out and look over at the other woman, who has quickly been forgotten now that the two men were too caught bickering with each other. You catch her eye, and she gives a strained smile, so you offer one back. Her expression was one that all women could unfortunately understand at one point or another in their lives; it was the look of a woman who has been dealing with a man for far longer than she'd like. She was trying her best to be polite, but it only made matters worse, and he wasn't taking the hint that she was not interested.

Some men were absolutely clueless and persistent, and as she glared at the blonde who was still arguing with your new companion, you knew without a doubt that she felt he was insufferable and she wanted nothing more than to strangle him. With a quick glance at the men, you turn back to her and nudge your head to the side, wordlessly telling her that this was her chance to leave now without being noticed. She gives another smile, slightly bowing her head as she quickly and quietly walks away and heads down the road.

You turn back to the men and become startled as the blonde suddenly realizes that the woman is leaving, yelling once again. You're not sure how his vocal cords haven't given up yet, it's almost impressive how loud he is.

"HANG ON, WHERE IS SHE GOING?!!! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE! THAT GIRL WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME!! THE TWO OF US WERE GONNA GET MARRIED!!!"

He tries to follow her, but he's stopped once again as your companion sighs in exasperation. "Would you give it a rest already... she wasn't in love with you!"

"How do you know? And why'd you have to get in my way?! This had nothing to do with you!" When your companion only stares at him with a strange look akin to disgust, it sets the blonde off into hysterics. "Why are you looking at me like that?! STOOOP IT!!!! You're staring at me like I'm some sort of pitiful creature or something!! Now, you listen here! The reason I missed out on getting married is all your fault, so you owe me!"

A gust of wind blows by and causes you to shiver, your arms shifting up to wrap around you in a weak attempt to warm yourself back up. Suddenly, the man seems to teleport right in front of you and clings onto your legs, shaking his head around as he squeals in delight. You gasp and swing your arms in a circular motion as you try to stay upright and not fall over from how abruptly he attached himself to you.

"Woahhh, so cute! Where have you been all my life?! Please… I beg of you!! You're the only hope I have left of not dying alone!! I promise I'll be the best husband you could ever have if you could just give me a chance!!"

As quickly as he was latched onto your legs, he's just as quickly removed when your companion snatches him back with incredible speed.

He raises his voice more sternly than before as he scolds him for his behavior. "Hey, don't grab at her like that!"

The man in green looks a little frustrated and displeased at having to restrain the blonde so much, but the man doesn't seem to hear him or care as he continues to reach out for you. He manages to slip free for a split second, almost grabbing you a second time, but your ‘hero’ quickly intervenes once again by jumping in front of you and blocking the man with a deeply disapproving scowl. They collide, bumping heads, and the blond collapses ungracefully and lets out a yelp as he lands on his backside.

"Agh! Go away! Stop interfering with my proposals! Just who do you think you are?!" The blond screeches, pointing an accusing finger at him as he scrambles back up. "What exactly is your name anyway, huh?!"

"My name is Tanjiro Kamado," he states with a hand on his chest. "And you are?"

"Okay, Tanjiro Kamado, my name is Zenitsu Agatsuma! Now, go away and let us get married in peace! I need her to be my wife, so I don't die as a complete nobody!!"

"No!" Tanjiro makes a face, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at Zenitsu while he crosses his arms. "Aren't you being a bit dramatic? Why did you even become a swordsman, anyway? You're acting utterly pathetic right now..."

"Well, I got conned by a woman and racked up a lot of debt. The old geezer who took it over for me happened to be a tough-as-nails instructor! He made me train to the bone every day; it was so hellish, I just wanted to die!! I was hoping it'd happen during Final Selection, but since I survived, this nightmare continues to haunt me! You see, I'm not that strong, and I'm absolutely terrified of fighting, and you know what we fight... right? Demons! I don't want to fight demons—I'm going to be eaten!" He grabs at his hair and pulls on it, shaking uncontrollably while biting on his lip. "I don't want to die alone, so that's why I have to marry a beautiful woman before my inevitable death happens!"

"That's— Um, well..." Tanjiro sighs and shakes his head. "Look, I'm sure you aren't going to die. You're a lot stronger than you may think. I mean, you've made it this far, right? You passed the Final Selection, so that has to prove something!"

"Yeah, I guess..." Zenitsu replies hesitantly, not fully sharing Tanjiro's optimism. "It was just dumb luck..."

They stare at each other for a few moments before they seem to calm down even more, turning their attention back to you. You feel so awkward standing there, not understanding a single thing that has been going on. And the guy who was yelling and crying at your feet just a few seconds ago now stares at you with a curious sort of gleam in his eyes. His voice is more slow and quiet, a startling contrast compared to before, as he squints and leans around both sides of your figure, closely observing your features.

"Hey, now that I really look at her, she doesn't exactly look like she's from here...? Who is she? Where is she from? Why are you two together?"

"I... actually don't know..." Tanjiro rubs the back of his neck as he smiles sheepishly. "My crow spotted her out in a field a while ago, and she seemed lost, so I'm watching over her while I head to my next mission. I'm hoping there's a place along the way where she can receive proper help." He then glances at you, his tone questioning. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before. Could you tell us?"

You blink, and you imagine your face gives away your confusion because he tries asking you again in a much slower manner, trying his best to get you to understand what he was asking, but it doesn't help much—you still have no clue what he is saying. It hits you once again just how lost you are, and the frustration of not being able to properly communicate with anyone is really starting to get to you.

Even though you are in the presence of two other people right now, you've never felt more alone. You don’t know these men at all. You don't know anyone. You don't know this place. And worst yet, you don't even really know yourself right now.  But what you do know is that you're tired. Everything also aches. And you just really want to go home.

Tanjiro's eyes widen slightly, his expression morphing into one of surprise and mild panic. You don't realize that you've started to cry until he cautiously steps closer and looks at you with a worried expression. The tears slowly slide down your face, and you wipe at them with shaky hands, your breaths coming out uneven and choppy.

"AHHH," Zenitsu yells loudly. "WHY IS SHE CRYING?! W-WHAT HAPPENED?! DID—"

He abruptly stops when Tanjiro turns around, placing a finger over his lips to shush him before giving you his full attention once again. He tries his best to soothe you by very cautiously putting his hands on your shaking shoulders and gently patting them while he leans down to try and get a better look at your face. But you're reluctant to let him fully look at you as you cry, stubbornly keeping your head held down to cover your expression.

"Are you okay...?" he asks softly. "Are you feeling alright?"

Even though he knows you won't answer because you can't understand him, he still felt the need to ask, but you likely wouldn't have answered him anyway, even if you did. And even if that were the case, he wouldn't have taken it personally; he could understand that you are likely very stressed and not in a talkative mood given your situation.

He just wants to make sure that you're fine, at least in the physical sense... as you clearly weren't feeling all that well on the psychological side of things. He has yet to detect the strong, distinct metallic smell of blood, which was a good sign that you had no vital injuries. But he leans back with his eyes sweeping over you from head to toe, just to be sure, because he wasn't able to fully pick up your scent before. After a quick scan confirms your well-being, he speaks once again, hoping to mitigate your growing emotions.

"Hey, everything will be fine; don't worry. I'm here to help, okay? Whatever is going on, we'll figure it out!"

When your quiet crying slowly turns into full-blown sobbing, his face falls with growing uncertainty. He's come across some emotional people throughout his life, but he found himself feeling unsure of what to do in this situation. He's dealt with emotional people before, whether he knew them or not; he had a fairly big family with a couple of younger siblings growing up, so he was no stranger to random tantrums or crying outbursts—although they were few and far between. With that said, he had some experience and seemed to have a knack for making people feel better, so he's taken it upon himself to try his best to comfort you in this moment.

But... how does he comfort someone when there are language barriers?

Not to mention, there may be cultural differences in what is considered acceptable conduct—especially between the opposite sexes. He has no idea where you're from. While most people were more private and reserved in his culture, it wasn't completely taboo to get close to or even touch a stranger with the means to console them in a respectable manner. But you aren't from here, so he worries if he's allowed to try doing anything more than simply placing his hands on your shoulders, even though his intentions are well-meaning. He truly doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but he feels as if he has to do something, so he tentatively moves closer while opening his arms in a manner suggesting an attempt to bring you into a light, albeit rather awkward hug.

His movements are rather slow, giving you the time to react and reject his (rather bold for him) advances. But you don't dodge his encroaching figure and allow him to move forward. He figures if you haven't pushed him away by now, then this was probably fine and you weren't too uncomfortable with the close proximity. And the fact that he doesn't smell anything that would suggest you were afraid eases his mind a little more, even if your scent was harder to pick up than most. 

You let him close the distance and bring you into his arms, not caring that he or the other man are witnessing an embarrassing little meltdown. But who could blame you? You're confused, tired, and lost, with no real memories of who you even are. Anyone would be overwhelmed and overcome by the torrent of emotions you're currently dealing with in this situation. You can't seem to stop the tears from falling, nor do you have the energy to try, so you give in to the growing tide of emotions and pull yourself closer as you cry into his shoulder.

The poor man was probably very confused and uncomfortable, but you remind yourself that he was the one to initiate the consoling embrace in the first place. And even if he had reservations about it, he wasn't doing anything to stop you from soaking the thin fabric of his uniform as you clung to him, so you don't put too much energy into worrying about it. The longer you stand there in his hold, the better you actually start to feel. Like before, his presence is very… soft and warm, and the pressure of his arms loosely wrapped around you was comforting.

It was rather… nice.

His quiet demeanor keeps you somewhat grounded and allows you a moment to self-regulate. You didn't feel trapped or have any lingering sense of unease with being so close to a stranger—a man, no less—and there was no impression of judgment or discrimination. He just felt safe to be around, so you slowly begin to relax until you've calmed down enough to take a few deep breaths and finally step away, releasing your tight hold of his clothing as you keep your eyes downcast. 

You are a little embarrassed for clinging to him and crying like that, but oh well...

Ever so slowly, you glance back up at him for a brief moment, your gaze bouncing to the other man as you sniffle and wipe at your face. "Sorry about that..."

Zenitsu puts a finger in his ear and twists it. "Huh... what? I didn't understand her at all! Wait, are my ears still working, or does she not speak Japanese?!" He stares at you and starts shouting as he maneuvers closer to speak directly to you. "Hey, what language are you speaking?! Where did you come from?! I haven't met very many foreigners before! Whatever it is, it sounds nice! Do you—"

You can feel the tears trying to surface again as he continues yelling in your face. Damn it, not again! You don't get the feeling that he's yelling at you—not in the way that would suggest he's angry or anything—no, you could tell he's just a very loud and enthusiastic person. But apparently you are quite sensitive to someone yelling directly in your face, because it starts to overwhelm you to the point of making you want to cry again.

It was like some kind of subconscious impulse. You have no idea why you're reacting this way; he wasn’t acting scary or mean, but you can't help it, and you feel so pathetic. You feel weak and frustrated. And you're more than sure it's just as frustrating for them to try and deal with a random lady who's become a blubbering mess, and not only that, but someone who doesn't even speak their language. The tears start to fill your lash line once again, and you try your best to keep it under control.

"Ah, no, it's okay!" Tanjiro frets, waving his hands around and shooting the blonde a subtle glare to stop him from rambling on. "Please, don't cry… I really apologize if we did something to upset you!"

He bows down low to the ground, and Zenitsu squeaks as he quickly follows suit. You don't quite know how to react. This was all so confusing, and you were almost at your wits end trying to make sense of anything. But they looked a little nervous and frazzled themselves, which momentarily took your focus away from the building pressure inside of you that was threatening to burst.

You blink a few times, your voice a little strained. "Uhh...? No, no... please, don't do that!"

Admittedly, you don't know a lot about their culture, but from what little information you are able to recall, bowing was generally used as a form of greeting, reverence, apology, or gratitude in social or religious situations. You have no idea how you know that, as you don't remember ever being in a situation that would include the customs of Japan, but you do. Anyway, you did not want them bowing to you. It didn't feel right, and given the context, you didn't feel as if they needed to apologize for anything. They lift their heads at the distressed sound of your request, watching as you grab at their arms to make them stand back up.

"I'm sorry," you sigh morosely. "I don't know what's going on... I don't know where I am. I'm tired and overwhelmed. And I just—"

You slump down as your body seems to give up, having no will to stand hip anymore. You don't finish your sentence and fall silent, except for the occasional sniffle as you try to regulate your breathing once again. Both of them react quickly as they help you back onto your feet, waving their arms around with strained smiles. They look between you and each other, unsure of what to do at this moment. Neither side could understand each other. It was a tough situation to be in, but they had to keep trying to communicate with you somehow; otherwise, none of you would get anywhere.

Tanjiro has found that communication isn't successful with only words alone; that was proven earlier when he had gotten you to understand him, if only a little bit, when he had used his hands to make signs as he spoke. With that in mind, he stands in front of you again and asks the same question he had asked before, but this time he points to himself while saying, "Tanjiro Kamado," and then pointing back at you.

He keeps repeating himself slowly, trying his best to help you understand that he is giving you his name and that he's also asking for yours. He desperately wants to help you, now more so that your scent has somewhat grown stronger and he's able to pick up how frustrated and lonely you feel.

You blink a few times, your face slightly scrunching up in concentration. He'd said the same thing earlier, except this time he was pointing at himself as he repeated a few words, which sounded like, 'Tan-jiro Kama-doh'.

Was that maybe... his name?

You hope so. It sort of made sense. And with him also pointing at you, could that mean he was asking for your name? You swallow the lump in your throat, desperately hoping that's what he was trying to get at; otherwise, you fear there truly may be no hope of communicating and getting the help that you need.

You'd be lost forever, alone...

Maybe that was an exaggeration, but you weren’t in the most optimistic or brightest of moods right now. Sure, you might get help eventually, but you want to figure things out as soon as possible. You can't stand being in a constant state of confusion and uncertainty—it would drive anyone mad. And the thought of being completely lost, with little to no memories or real knowledge of how to survive on your own, absolutely terrifies you...

You take in a shaky breath, pursing your lips. "Are you asking for my name?"

You sound a little unsure as you point at yourself, but you try to keep your nerves down as you wait to see if he somehow understands you. His eyes light up as you do that, and he nods enthusiastically as he repeats, 'Tanjiro Kamado,' while pointing at himself, then pointing back at you with an expectant gleam. You can only assume from his reaction that the both of you have understood what each other was trying to say, so you finally smile a little in hope.

Well, here goes nothing...

"My name... is Y/n..." You speak slowly at first, enunciating as clearly as you can while pointing at yourself.

You also repeat yourself a few times, and he smiles wider as he echoes it, committing it to memory. As the smile on your own face begins to grow, he points back at himself and repeats his own name a few more times, wanting to make it as clear as possible between you both as to who you are. It wasn't much, but being able to communicate and understand each other, if only a little, was enough to make you excited.

He then turns to the other man, speaking for a few moments before having him do the same thing, which the man does happily. You feel a little lighter now that you at least know their names—Tanjiro and Zenitsu. It's a lot better than referring to them by their appearances or how they acted. It helped you feel less lonely and scared, as they felt more personal now... more real, if that made any sense.

You let out a soft breath and smile in relief. Once they see that you look less agitated than before, they start speaking amongst themselves. You catch Tanjiro saying the word 'English,' and Zenitsu peers at you curiously while nodding along. You're definitely curious about what exactly they're talking about right now, but you don't pay much mind and continue standing off to the side, your eyes drifting up to the sky. After a few seconds, they finally stop and gain your attention again as Tanjiro clears his throat, while Zenitsu tilts his head as he looks at you both.

"Y/n-san... uhh, English?" Tanjiro asks curiously, trying his best to correctly pronounce the unfamiliar word on his tongue.

He just wanted to double-check what his crow had told him earlier. He smiles when you grin a little and nod, taking it as confirmation of what he had learned earlier.

Zenitsu perks up. "So...?"

"Well, it seems my crow was correct. She speaks English. I asked if he would be able to help translate earlier, but he said he couldn't speak it well—only understand."

"You said you were taking her with you, right?"

"Yes, do you think we'll be able to find anyone who speaks English?"

"Sure, but I highly doubt anyone all the way out here would know anything. Your best bet is probably in one of the bigger cities, although... they're a long way away. The closest one is about a four-day trek on foot from here."

Tanjiro hums in thought, nodding along. "That is pretty far... and I have a mission I have to complete, but do you think you'll be able to lead us there afterwards, Zenitsu?"

"Yeah, of course! I couldn't just leave a fair lady in need of help! But if you're heading in that direction," he gestures to behind him, "then it'll probably take even longer."

"Well, that's fine. As long as we can find some towns along the way to recuperate, we should be okay." Tanjiro then turns back to you, smiling softly. "Y/n-san, will you follow us?"

All you can catch is your name, but once he points in the direction you were heading in earlier with him, you bob your head happily, as you knew what he was asking now. He wanted you to follow him, and it looked like Zenitsu was tagging along now. Tanjiro grins wider, and Zenitsu bounces on his feet with a little cheer, feeling excited to finally travel with other people after being on his own for a while. You laugh a little, and Zenitsu stops moving to stare at you with wide eyes.

This was the first time you didn't look so confused or upset since he met you. And he could hear you better now—your inner sound—which all living things had. Every person has their own unique sound, giving off different frequencies and vibrations depending on their thoughts and feelings. And yours had sounded off before; it was, for lack of a better word, pathetic and held a muted sort of overtone. But now... it was like listening to something soft yet light, like wind chimes tinkling in the breeze. His eyes sparkle as he brings his hands together, giggling to himself.

You had the most adorable laugh! 

Sure, he thought you were quite cute before, but seeing you smile and listening to how happy you sounded right now made you even cuter in his eyes. Call him a fool, but he felt like he was in heaven. There's a dopey smile on his face as he looks at you and falls to your feet, and you can only look down at him perplexed, as you don't have a single clue as to what his deal was now.

"Waaah, she's so cute! It's an amazing honor to be in the mere presence of such a lovely lady~ Oh  man, I could actually die happy if I was married to a girl like her. Wouldn't you agree, Tanjiro? Isn't she just the cutest?!"

You seriously have no clue what Zenitsu is suddenly raving on about, but now that he isn't crying and screaming every five seconds, he actually isn't all that bad. He was kind of strange, in an endearing sort of way, and fairly amusing to listen to so you found yourself laughing a little more at his theatrics. You notice Tanjiro looks a little caught off guard by whatever Zenitsu was saying, though, your eyes flickering between them curiously.

"Huh...? Uhmm, yes...? I mean... I can agree, she is cute," he mumbles honestly, scratching at his cheek.

Zenitsu is still giggling to himself, rolling around on the ground, but he stops abruptly when Tanjiro's words register in his head, his grin suddenly dropping as he stares at him with a blank face. "So... you think she's cute, too, huh..."

"Ah, well—"

"Listen here!! I asked her to marry me first! You got that?!! I can forgive you for ruining my first proposal, but I will never forgive you for trying to take her for yourself, alright?!?"

Tanjiro accidentally makes eye contact with you as Zenitsu starts wildly yelling at him, and his eyes flash with the slightest bit of panic and embarrassment before he quickly looks away, his shoulders tensing up. He faces Zenitsu again, waving his hands around frantically.

"Zenitsu, slow down! That's not what I meant at all! There’s no way I would marry her! No, I mean... it's not that I wouldn't marry her because she isn’t cute—she is... b-but that's not the point," he rambles on, trying to backtrack, but Zenitsu continues to glare at him. "I was just agreeing that she is attractive! But I wouldn't try to marry her, especially just for her appearance! I would actually like to get to know someone and eventually marry for love..!"

He stands still, completely stiff, staring straight ahead with an awkward grimace as he finishes his proclamation. He looks beyond flustered with whatever their conversation is about, which only makes you wonder what was going on.

Damn, you wish you could understand them.

It's silent for just a few seconds before it's broken once again by Zenitsu screeching, "WHHHHAAAT?! LOOOOOVE?!?!?! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER?!?!"

"N-No! I just met her!" Tanjiro chokes as Zenitsu grabs him by the collar and starts shaking him around. "Where did you get that idea?! I couldn't love her! Well, not that I couldn't... who knows what will happen, r-right? I'm just saying if I got to know her—or anyone, really—and fell in love, then it would only make sense to get married! Aghh, b-but I don't mean that it will happen!! It could, but— I was just agreeing… I was just—"

Tanjiro finally snaps his mouth closed, his cheeks dusted a bright red as he quickly turns away and slips out of Zenitsu's grasp, trying to escape his unreasonable wrath. He was done with this conversation now, feeling slightly awkward and uncomfortable. He doesn't understand where Zenitsu was getting all these ideas, but he wasn't going to play into it and make matters worse by trying to explain himself.

He wasn't blind and could recognize attractive-looking people, so he simply agreed with Zenitsu—you were in fact cute. But the thought of love and marriage has not once crossed his mind. Why would it? And it's not like he doesn't like you, because he already likes you; it's just not in the same way that Zenitsu does. He just met you! The way that he sees it, he can appreciate the outward beauty of a person, but what he truly admires about someone is what lies in their heart, and it takes some time to get to really know someone.

He refuses to base his feelings on the shallowness of appearance alone.

Although there was a time when he was younger, living with his family on a mountain, he briefly thought about his future when he got older. It wasn't entirely true that he never thought about love or potentially getting married someday; he did think about that, and it was something he hoped to achieve in his life at some point.

But that was a long time ago... and things are a lot different now.

True, he is older now and right around the age where many people start getting serious about their future, but he's much too busy to even think about pursuing a relationship with someone right now. Not to mention, he didn't even know if he'd be alive in the next couple of years, seeing as he was a Demon Slayer. People die all the time; it's not a guarantee how long you'll get to live, but the risks that came with his occupation meant he could very well die at any given moment, and his death would likely not be a peaceful one.

Right now, he could only think about doing his duty as a Demon Slayer, finding a cure for his little sister, who was turned into a demon, and defeating the very demon who had turned their lives upside down by shredding their entire family apart with cold, bloody claws...

...Muzan Kibutsuji...

He doesn't want to think too much about any of this, so he shakes his head and starts marching off, ignoring Zenitsu, who's still spouting nonsense. "Come on guys, let's go!"

You don't know what they were talking about, but you found it amusing nonetheless. Their faces were pretty comical. You gather your bearings and try to catch up to Tanjiro, who's hastily walking away, and Zenitsu quickly follows close behind, finally quieting down and allowing a moment of silence to hang over your small group. You don't know where you're going, but you trust them enough to follow them, as they truly seem like good people.

Besides, they were the only people that you know right now, and you definitely aren't going to go out on your own, especially since you can't speak Japanese.

Though the path ahead remains uncertain, you take solace in the fact that you are not alone and won't have to fend for yourself in unknown territory. You were going to stick with them, and with the help of these two kind-hearted, albeit peculiar men, you hope to unravel the mystery that has enveloped your existence and reclaim the fragments of your memory. So, with a newfound hope, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and you set out on a journey together. You have a feeling that things are only going to get more interesting from here on out. You smile lightheartedly, excited to see where this new path takes you in life. A warmth and sense of peace wash over you.

This was just the beginning...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Taisho Secrets

* The Kasugai crows are specially trained birds, as they are the main method of communication among the members of the Demon Slayer Corps. English is one of the many things that they may choose to learn, although it is fairly basic, as they will rarely encounter people who speak the language. Tanjiro's crow was one of the few to pass the test with flying colors (compared to some of the others…) and can understand the language quite well, however, his speech is somewhat limited.

#demon slayer #demon slayer fic #tanjiro x reader #inosuke x reader #zenitsu x reader #tomioka x reader #rengoku x reader #nezuko kamado #sanemi shinazugawa #shinobu kocho #tengen uzui #fluff #angst #jealousy #humor #pining #friends #canon divergence #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer x reader #tanjiro kamado #inosuke fluff #tanjiro fluff #zenitsu fluff #demon slayer hashira #kimetsu no yaiba #rengoku kyojuro #kny rengoku #genya shinazugawa #shinaguzawa genya

[chipped-chimera]

Just wanna say sorry to people over the past month ... months? That tagged me in WIP Wednesdays, I'm sorry I haven't really been doing much of anything creatively, feeling kinda rough 💀 But thank you so much of thinking of me, I love seeing everything that you do!

Partial? Explaination/Life Update under the cut I guess.

Hi! Hello. First off, thanks for being interested. It warms my heart people care about me so much, that I've made an impact and people are happy to see my stuff. I wish so badly I could be making stuff like this all the time! Doing those things (whether art, or modding or just my dumb screenshots) and seeing people enjoy what I was making really got me through the hardest parts of this year.

This year has been a massive turning point in many ways. It just hit me I MADE this blog this year like, holy shit guys! I've felt so welcome in the Cyberpunk 2077 space and consider a lot of people my friends, whether we talk outside Tumblr or not. I'm just so happy to see your posts and your thoughts! 💖 For someone who just through how life shook out to end up really socially isolated irl, you guys have helped form the bedrock of a place I can come back to that always makes me feel better.

It's why I wish I did more. That I could contribute to that more and in turn, maybe help someone else as much as it helped me. But it's hard. Really hard.

I have realised a lot of things about my life in recent months, and I think it's a good sign - that I'm in a more solid place mentally to unpack things that have been sitting boxed up for years because I was just too exhausted to deal with them. They've both been great to unpack ... but painful at the same time. It's kind of in moments like these my passion to create things starts to suffer. It's hard to muster up enough motivation sometimes to just do what I want to do because I'm constantly struggling with a brain and body that just doesn't do what I want it to do - and that fact often makes me feel even worse and want to do even less.

I'm kind of stuck in one of these spirals at the moment. I have some idea of the way out but ... I don't know. This might be a period of grief for myself or something. It took me a long time to realise I'd been lying to myself about a lot of things - stuff I'd did out of necessity for survival at the time, basically becoming water and pouring myself into whatever mold I thought would be safe, that people would like me in. Online spaces, that I carefully curate, detached from any real-life connection have been my home in the absence of feeling myself for so long - especially as the world around me shrank.

I'm hoping in the new year, as me and my psychologist start working on the C-PTSD that apparently had roots way, way deeper than I could even imagine - things might get easier. I'm hoping like hell that maybe my fatigue is connected, that it'll ease - because to finally, finally be in a place with a supportive parent who is attentive and I have the words to explain what I need, and for that to be respected - to finally be myself - only to be held back by my brain and body because the damage went so deep I just can't is agonizing.

I'm gonna keep believing that this is just the bottom of this mountain, this turn around point. It's gotta be, I feel like my entire life has been leveled. And I know it's not going to be easy to climb back up there, repair the damage, get where I want to be. I don't even know if I'll get to where I want to be but ... at least I'll be myself. For the first time in my life.

So um. Thank you. For being around. For being my foundation through this. Wish you guys all the best for 2024, and I hope I'll be able to share more cool things with you soon 💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Kery

#kerytalk #love you guys

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Jaskier's lutes.

After the official trailer for BO, I was too excited to notice that the patterns on the lute - that will probably will be offered to Jaskier - were different from Filavandrel's one. Someone put that into light and I was delighted.

Now I want to dig a bit this part because, if I thought Filavandrel's lute was beautiful, the object itself had meaning but not much in his representation (or at least I didn't see much). But this one, I found very interesting things to see, especially with the close ups we had with the Merry Christmas card they put online.

Let's begin with the evolution of the instrument.

Jaskier first lute was basic and reflected the fact that he was poor.

Then he got the elven one with its rich patterns on the table. He will keep it for 24 years and it represents the connection with the elven people in S2 especially. When Jaskier is kidnapped by Rience, the sound of the broken lute is made as a comic relief (very cartoonish) but that picture of the fractured instrument on the ground holds meaning. (I will maybe develop my thoughts on this on a different post)

Visually I find this new lute very interesting, especially connecting with what I understand of Jaskier's role in BO and further. I think that, like in the book, he becomes the witness that will immortalize history with his art. In the Tower of the Shallow, there is a shift and we are in a more narratively driven mode with many levels. Ciri tells her story to someone. The dreams that link everyone from afar. And Jaskier tells the story to us directly.

He tells us himself that he used to lie to shape the truth to his advantage but he now wants to tell what happened, because he understands the value of truth. Which seem pretty close of what was hinted for BO.

Til now, the role of Jaskier is a bit different in the show but narratively it was close to that idea without really touching it. For example, I love that the songs he writes during an episode change slightly when we have the final version, usually in the credits. Her Sweet Kiss… and Whoreson Prison blues are good examples of that. Even the full version of Burn Butcher Burn added something.

But in BO the story he will have to shape is the one that will be shown to us. The story of the elven people, the conjunction of the spheres and the origin of witcher that is lost. From season 2, Jaskier is more involved with the elves and kinda emotionally connected to their fate.

I feel all of that in the new lute patterns.

The new lute details

The lines are curved and more intertwined. We can see symbols of chains linked to heart figures. And there is a two faced bird. All the designs make like two wings. Jaskier is the sandpiper. I know the bird doesn't look like this species but it could be a wink to that. In their beak the birds have some of the intertwined lines so it could be. This could represent his role for the elves. His heart linked to their suffering and this new task he has, to revive their past through his art.

We can see also that the lines are linked to the mouth (I don't know the word in english) of the lute. Like music will be the final form of the story to tell.

I have some ideas too for the circled shape under the birds and a second meaning for the chains. Like this is a representation of the conjunction of the spheres. World linked to others. But maybe I am going to far there.

I am pretty excited to have new things to explore through the series. Maybe next time I'll be able to dig further. For the moment, I am only theorising 🙂

#jaskier #the witcher #some details #jaskier's lutes #am i analysing too much ? #blood origin

[drewsaturday]

slightly mean little fandom rant that may not be very coherent because i am admittedly in a state of disorientation but like. anon is off so it's not like i'll have to experience consequences if i misspeak.

i hate being in that weird space of not having any new fandoms that have good communities, but any newer communities for my older fandoms are just insufferable to me because... we've already had these exact conversations about 7.2 times each by now minimum, whether it's discourse-related or just a silly headcanon, and it causes the only contributions i can actually make to be combative because i'm tired and these lengthy conversations are unnecessary to have for Me to come to the Right Conclusions.

and then i become insufferable as a result because i am just as annoyed by everyone else's earlier stage of fandom development, which they can't help, as they probably are at me and my comparatively elder fan jadedness because the repetitiveness of these experiences just is not hitting in the ways i need my fandom experiences to hit rn, where i'd ideally get to grow with people on similar levels as me?

it's like you guys are in kindergarten and i am a college freshman looking to advance the stuff i've already spent years building, so it would be mean of me to say "you are all so stupid" instead of appreciating your new enthusiasm at the world and its possibilities but god. we are not the same. and finding people who are the same, at least for those older fandoms, is a rough time because the amount of people who stick with a thing as long as you have is going to dwindle year after year if you've even had a slightly comparable starting point in the first place.

it would just be easier if i could join new communities for shows as they drop but... i'm either not into anything popular enough to have other fans at all in fanon environments, they are TOO popular and so i can't really connect to anyone, or binge watch culture makes community impossible to form at all... OR i am the annoying new fan that is as insufferable as the older fans and there are no other new fans around to match that energy either.

obviously the solution really is just dragging pre-existing friends into things as much as you can but... sometimes i just miss the lightning in a bottle novelty of being able to join a space at its beginning where everyone is about at that same level looking to hang out with other fans and make friends for a few years until you all exhaust that magic and hope you find another lucky place to plant some roots.

#txt #i am grateful i do have some friends and friend groups from older fandoms that have withstood time or that we just are on the same level #but like . i still have so many little gaps in my heart from places that became inactive or friends that i fell out of touch with etc that #i just. am not able to bring anything new into because i am reliant on the internet for my social experiences tm #and sadlyyyyyyy i'm just not matching with anywhere that has potential friends 2 adopt #maybe i need to try non-fandom communities but that means i need to develop new hobbies and i don't have time rip #actually. i am Realizing. in many cases the Perfect Communities i have found #i ended up being the one to start which y'knowww comes with bias #but i kinda forgot that if something isn't out there i used to have the time to just do it myself #and in recent cases where i've realized there's an absence of community for things i like #if no one else has done it i know i can't shoulder that responsibility rn so nothing happens #obvs it has not always been me - there have been a few started by other ppl too #it's just something thattt i can't do anything about rn but is a helpful littel realization i suppose

[plushii-gutz]

Making a second part of Thorns for three specific people. Keep in mind that I didn't have much of a plan making this, mostly just to indulge in ocs

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶

Pereskia found herself coated in the shade of a tall tree, resting against the bark and roots that rose from the ground. Her gloves were nowhere to be found, head pounding as if it were being hit against a wall. She sat herself up, wiping her face clean of dirt. The sun, though hidden behind clouds, still provided a light bright enough to burn at the barrbs' eyes. She felt awful.

Perry didn't have time to remember the night prior. The sudden clicking of metal on stones pushed her back to reality. It was her sickle.

"So Pereskia, " a voice spoke, "I think this is yours."

"Viola?" Pereskia spoke, using the tree to pull herself up. Her vision was still far too blurred to see, but that voice would stick with her forever. "That.. isn't mine."

"Uh-huh. Alright, get up."

"What?"

"Come on. I lost a lot, but I'm not losing you."

The barrb took a few steps, regaining her balance and shaking off any leaves that stuck. Viola was more visible now, no longer wearing her white coat and instead donning a yellow scarf in its place. Pereskia didn't realize how chilled the air was until now.

"Gunna diagnose me with a cold?" She mocked.

"No, actually." Viola pushed her glasses up, crossing every arm. "You're dehydrated and hungover to all hell."

The Bowgart moved closer, putting one hand under Pereskia's chin and moving her head back.

"With the Barrb species, it's a bit easier to tell what's wrong. Your neck foliage is wilted, dried, a bit torn, and clearly discolored. One top of the alcohol, which, by the way, is extremely pungent, I would also venture to say that you haven't been practicing self-care for a couple of days. Does that sound about right?"

Perry smacked Viola's hand away, picking her hat from the ground and putting it back on.

"I'm fine," She said sternly.

"Really? Because you're shaking. If I'm correct, which I usually am, I believe you're about to-"

Pereskia gagged, soon coughing up whatever was left in her system.

"That. So, are you ready to come with me? Or do you still need time to deteriorate?"

With a lot of hesitation and a bit of force, the two were able to leave back to the streets.

"Where do you even plan t' take me?" Perry asked. "Ain't no way you're even allowed near the hospital."

"Well, not at the moment. My medical license isn't suspended. Yet, at least. Sort of on pause while they figure out what to do with me. Would've been nice to know earlier, but oh well. As for where you are going, I guess the answer is my place. I don't trust you on your own."

Pereskia mumbled a small 'not happening' before walking in any direction that isn't Viola's. Good thing the lavender monster has multiple hands, or else she would've gotten away.

"Can I at least stop by my shop?" The barrb asked. "What used to be my shop."

"Didn't you sell it?"

"I did. As far as I know, the new owner hasn't moved in yet. Everything I have left is there. The least you can do is let me have something - anything - that's left of him."

They both fell silent for a long while.

"Alright," Viola agreed. "We'll take the next ship there."

The fire islands were far, but Plant Island's newer forms of transportation could make the trip faster.

"But you're still not leaving my side. I'll pay for both of us, to and from."

It was settled. Pereskia felt a tad bit rude, having to drag Viola all the way to the shop, but it was her choice to stick around. It barely meant anything compared to what she had to endure.

Plant Island's ships were a pretty decent size, able to carry double the number of monsters than any other island could. They were tougher, faster, and commonly sold to the nearby natural islands for a good price. At least something kept the islands connected.

The trip only took a couple of hours, yet it felt far longer. Maybe it was palpable anxiety in the air. Maybe it was the obnoxious monsters that couldn't lower their voices for anyone. Or maybe home really was just that far away. Well, what used to be home. Pereskia wondered where she would go now, having given up her entire life to pay for someone else's mistake. She didn't want to be around Viola any longer than she was forced to. As of now, though, they shared the same row of seats.

The boats were odd here. They were similar to human world cruise ships, though only used for short trips. It felt a bit excessive, but it was only natural for monsters to find a way to party. Even during the shortest rides, music had to be involved somewhere. At least prices were low.

"Hey there!" A new voice began to sing. "What's got you all down in the dumps? Oh! I know what'll cheer you up!"

The barrb looked over to the voice, which came from a short monster. She had curled white fur that grew in a similar manner as the pomily species, two puffs of hair on either side of her head that were held up with hair ties and a yellow ruffled collar around her neck. Any visible skin she had was multicolored, specifically primary colors, and surprisingly soft blue eyes. It was hard to tell if the markings on her face were dyed or natural, only adding on to her clown-like appearance.

Her appeal aside, the monster seemingly pulled an inflated flower-shaped balloon from nowhere and tied it around Pereskia's wrist.

"There you go! It compliments your looks!" She'd laugh. The monster next to her gave a quick smack across the back of her head.

"Baloola! No! When someone's upset, you don't immediately hop in with your silly gifts!"

"Oh, it's fine hun," the barrb sat up a little straighter. "It's actually kinda nice. Who are you again? If ya don't mind me askin'."

"I'm Jaiden," the pompom spoke. She was of the rare variety, though the iconic pom-pom's have been shaved down so their hands were visible. She wore a simple black hoodie with pins to add a bit of color, most of which prideful. "Sorry about Baloola, she's.. well, I'm assuming this is how monsters without anxiety act."

"I'm Pereskia, but you can just call me Perry."

"Viola," the bowgart spoke, making herself a little more visible.

"I'm a new member of the pompom family!" Baloola said happily. "Initially, they all thought I was like a really weird epic cousin, but I'm my own thing! One of a kind, actually! Sort of like Hoola and all her cousins - just named after their species unless they choose something else. But I think my name is cool! Uncreative, but cool!"

"She's quite the talker," Jaiden added, "But she's got a lot of talents. Surprised that Hyehehe had trained Hoola and not her."

Baloola gave a sharp gasp, excited by the mere mention of the Mythicals name.

"He's so coooool!" She said, shaking her hands. "I look up to their every move! I hope to meet him again one day, it'd be awesome! Maybe he would even teach me one of his iconic pranks!"

The rare pompom moved a bit closer to Perry. "She's obsessed," they would say. "Don't mind her rambling."

And rambling she did. God, Baloola just never shuts up. At least it passed the time.

"Must be wild having so many siblings, huh?" Viola asked Jaiden.

"Yeah, it's hard to keep up. Feast-ember's are incredible, though. Some of the best cooks ever. Singers, too. We're actually going to Amber Island to meet up with a couple of them. Speaking of which, it seems we have about five minutes of the trip left."

Looking up, Pereskia and Viola can see the outlines of Amber Island coming into view. Finally.

"Well, I guess we should go grab our bags. Baloola and I plan on staying for a couple of days."

"Oh! Right! I almost forgot! Oh sweet Galvana, I must've driven you insane!"

Baloola finally shut up, standing from her spot and ready to go.

"No worries," Perry assured. "It was actually real nice meeting someone as positive n' happy as you."

"Oh! I'm glad I helped," She said with a smirk, likely aimed at Jaiden. With a few goodbyes, the pomily members left.

"Guess it's our turn now?" Viola asked.

"Yeah. They were nice. I hope they'll do fine."

Approaching the island, it became clear how chilly the weather had gotten. Freezing winds brushed through the bowgarts fur, Pereskia shivering at its harshness. They agree to try and make it quick, the ship leaving in a couple of hours.

Perry knew the path to her shop like the back of her hand. Along the walk, Viola saw many families leaving. There was visible sadness among all of them, a gray atmosphere growing around the skies and the air. The many homes were no longer homes - just houses. Coffins of memories.

"Right here," the barrb motioned to the shop. It was small, dusty, and obviously empty. She lifted up the welcome mat, a silver key lying underneath. Not the safest of hiding spots, but there wasn't anything of real value in there.

She walked in, leading Viola past the main area, the break room, and soon the house. It was all connected into one, restored by Pereskia and Buck themselves. To the right of the houses entrance stood a coat rack, a single leather Stetson hanging off one of its many hooks. To the left was a restroom, decorated with paintings of oceans and Earth Island's summer vacation locations. How typical.

The small hallway led directly to the living room, which was as exciting as you'd expect. A simple worn-out couch, a fireplace, and mantle with photos. While Pereskia continued off to her room, Viola stood behind to give herself a small tour. It was clear the other monster didn't want to talk anyway.

Upon the mantle stood wedding photos. Most of the attendees seemed to be family or friends, a beautiful setting of flowers and intricately designed paintings. Of course, honeymoon pictures were next, the couple exploring Water Island and admiring the scenery. The next photo revealed Pereskia and Buck renovating the same place the bowgart stood now, Perry covered in paint but visibly happy while her husband seemed to be fixing the roof. Lastly, a picture of their finished home. They seemed to be celebrating Feast-ember, family and friends simply enjoying time together in the kitchen. Kids playing in the background, adults catching up with one another. Viola couldn't help but smile. It all seemed so nice. She wondered what it would've been like.

She left to search for Perry, finding her in a bedroom. She had a backpack sitting on the bed, filling it with whatever items of value she had left. It primarily seemed to be gifts or photos, a few envelopes here and there. She dropped one, which Viola picked up.

"Who's Dew Drop?" She asked.

"Oh? Heh. That's what Buck called me. He used to live on another island before moving here with me. He'd send me letters every week jus' to make sure I still loved him. Of course, I did."

Her voice grew coarse as she spoke. Those happy memories of her and that flowah were nothing more than that - memories. Such small things as having someone to think lovingly over during the slow hours of work were now gone.

"Hey, Viola? Could I.. Could I have a moment?"

"Of course."

The lavender monster left the room, letting Perry have a moment to herself. Her eyes wandered the walls before coming across another door. Perhaps a guest bedroom? It wouldn't do any harm to look in.

Viola opened the door. The room was small, a few parts of it seeming unfinished. The walls were painted a soft dark blue, incomplete yellow stars scattered on each. There was a small bed near the corner, a crib, to be exact, that wasn't even fully built. Viola put a hand over her mouth as she recognized who's room this was supposed to be.

She left to the hallway quickly, having to sit on the floor to comprehend just how much she ruined another's life. She wondered how many other monsters had fallen victim to her own stupidity, her own selfishness. How many lives had she truly taken? Had been stopped from ever happening? Taking off her glasses, Viola wiped her eyes of any tears. She couldn't be seen like this. She had no right to cry. It was her fault. She killed a whole family.

She had to get up. The Bowgart could only hope that, under her care, something would change. Something would get better. Anything.

"Viola?" Pereskia called, leaving her room with the backpack over one shoulder. "I got all I needed. Most of what I needed. Maybe a couple more photos, if ya don' mind."

"Go ahead," She responded. "Get what you need. We probably have some time to spare. Besides, a lot of monsters are leaving, and I don't think anyone wants to get caught up in that shit."

"Heh, yeah.. Hey, I'm.. I'm sorry 'bout that - kicking you out, I mean. I know there's nothin' wrong with having a bit of time to myself, but it felt kinda rude."

"Eh, I probably deserve it," Viola shrugged. "I'm going to be honest with you. When I found your sickle, figured out your plan, I.. I didn't blame you one bit."

Perry motioned for Viola to take a seat on the couch, following behind.

"I never really had a family, but I learned through my patients and colleagues just how important they are to you. I can't blame you for wanting me dead. Sometimes, I want myself dead. I fucked up. A lot. Nothing I can do will pay you back. I don't even know why I'm trying."

She had no idea how she was able to keep her monotonous voice so still. Every part of her felt like it was being pricked by needles.

"Well.. I can't say I'll forgive you," the fire monster sighed. "I'm thankful for all your efforts to make life.. comfortable, at the moment. Even with my stubbornness. I'm glad you're learnin' a lesson, too. But it'll be years til' I ever make up my mind of what I think about you."

"I understand."

"Well, I'm glad you do."

The two sat in silence. Neither knew what would come next. There was so much uncertainty from then until now.

"We should probably go catch the ship now," Viola spoke.

"Mhm.. We should."

Pereskia grabbed her bag, following the other out. She locked the door, hid the extra key. One last painful goodbye to her home, her island. Having to trust Viola would be the hardest thing she'd ever do, but what else did she have? Maybe it was for the better to hang on to anything, even when there's nothing.

#msm #my singing monsters #msm ocs #fanfiction #i guess #Thorns msm