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#i've actually posted some of them here before
weirdmarioenemies · 4 hours
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Name: Melon Bug (again)
Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)
An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.
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Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?
The Player's Guide says "These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again." Feisty? They're only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don't think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don't think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can't cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?
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I think "Melon Bug" is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don't really have "stripes", their tergites (armor plates) do give a "lined" appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!
What do YOU call pill bugs? I've always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don't get it, but it's funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don't know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That's a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!
Isn't it weird how Melon Bug's art doesn't quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game... well, we now know the reason!
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Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it's been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi's Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.
If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!
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nocturnowlette · 2 days
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Hypnosis File Recommendations!
Previous File Recommendation Post Here
I've been gently motivated to start listening to and re-finding old hypnosis files again due to the reception to the previous post. I've been surprised at the amount of actually decent files I've come to remember, but still struggle to find many files that really blow me away. As I've said before, though, I'm a very stubborn owl.
That all being said, here are more files for your consideration.
Read all descriptions and warnings before engaging with these files. Do not engage with anything here or anything in my blog if you are under 18.
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Dr. Voidritch's Experiment by Bloof
This is a ren.py game about being being a test subject for the eccentric Dr. Voidritch and his hypnotic experiments. It's rather silly and fun, while still having real hypnosis, and fairly competently done hypnosis at that. It's best to download it instead of running on browser.
There is also a sequel to this game called Lavender Labs, though I have not tried it. It seems a lot more like a slice of life thing with dating and hypnosis from the screenshots though.
The rest of these recommendations for today will be about one person, Dragontize.
I rediscovered her shortly after the last recommendation post, and was pleasantly surprised. The best way to describe her overall vibe is "deceptively cute".
She opens every file with the same endearing tagline, "Hello world, I'm Dragontize, I messssmerize with voice and eyes." Her voice is light and enjoyable, the intonation the type to make the edges of your mind feel like they're oozing with pleasant sensations in a minute or two of talking.
Her files are much more directly practical and hypnosis-centric than most, with even her fantastical story-based files keeping a good balance. This is all to say that at a minimum, you will enjoy yourself with these files, even if they may not blow you away.
A Slice of Fractionation by Dragontize
This is how I re-found Dragontize, the actual original file with Evil Fractionation I found! I couldn't locate it for a long time, and realized that the issue was DuckDuckGo being a kinda bad search engine when it comes to specific things.
While I'm working on an Evil Fractionation file myself, this one is a nice and casual overview of it.
Brainwashing Fractionation by Dragontize
A very straightforward and enjoyable fractionation file with the light theming of becoming a member of Dragontize Inc.
For the Very Motivated Subject by Dragontize
This is maybe her best file. It does an interesting sort of thing where the file functions as if you're in the room with her, signaling multiple times that she has moved in some way, but without actually seeing her at all. It doesn't overly describe what she is doing, it's a very naturalistic sort of script in contrast to the often overdetailed storybook manner that others do.
It also very effectively plays with the concepts of anticipation and focus. It demonstrates a better understanding of the psychological aspects of hypnosis than a lot of others.
Good Little Thief by Dragontize
Lastly, a light and fun fantasy session. It's about a thief that is tasked to steal something from a wizard. That's all I'll say.
I've been enjoying going through files even if I don't find many of them super effective. I hope you all will be able to enjoy them even more than I have.
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yesimwriting · 2 days
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we need more felix and lovie content i miss themmm
i miss them too,, i have so many drafts and half finished fics with them but i've had so little energy/time to actually finish any of them bc of finals
but i'm pretty caught up with school rn (by tuesday i'll be on summer break!!) so here's a bit of an i'm-sorry-for-being-absent drabble :)
The nail of your thumb drags against the edge of the page, finally getting the glue to fully adhere to the page.
You press your back against the wood surface of your desk chair to admire your handiwork. The background of your latest scrapbook page has come together just the way you wanted it to. You pick up the book carefully before turning your body.
"Lex," you beam.
Felix doesn't sit up fully, but he does lift his head. The arm holding up his copy of the latest Harry Potter relaxing. "Oh," he mumbles it in that way that reminds you of one of the things you like best about him. He has this talent for giving attention. Where other people would just be polite without a second thought, Felix takes the time to really look before commending.
He pushes himself up in a way that awkwardly squishes your pillow. "That's good." Felix straightens, legs crossing beneath him. "That's really good, Lovie." His thumb tucks itself between the pages of his book, a make shift bookmark. "The edges, the paper..."
"Thank you." Another thing you love about Felix is the fact that you can always tell he means his praise. You turn forward, setting your scrapbook back onto your desk. "You should make one."
The corner of his mouth pulls itself into a version of a smile that's so soft you almost miss it. "Yeah?" You nod. Felix's smile shifts into something more assured. "Maybe tomorrow night."
You try to picture Felix spending a Saturday night in either your room or his, cutting up scraps of paper and gluing them down instead of at a bar or some party. The thought makes your feel warm in that way that's so exclusively Felix. It also feels blurry, intangible in its unlikeliness.
As happy as it'd make you, tonight was already surprising enough. It's not like Felix goes out every night, and this isn't the first time the two of you have stayed in on a Friday, but nights like these are rare. You can't picture two of these in a row.
"Tomorrow?" You pull your legs out from under your desk, entire body angling itself to the side so that it's easier to look at him. "Tomorrow's Saturday."
He lets out a partial laugh. "And you're dying for a rager?"
"No," you mumble, dragging out the vowel sound in an attempt to sound more sarcastic. "But you like going out." You lean forward, resting your chin against the chair's back. "And it's not like I hate going out, especially with you..." You trail off, eyes shifting away from Felix and towards the bed post closest to you. "And I don't want to be the reason you don't do things you like."
For a beat, the only sound is the low, rhythmic tapping of Felix's pointer finger against the spine of his book. "I like a lot of things."
You lift your head. "I know."
"I like doing things with you."
The warmth comes back with a vengeance. You tap your thumb against the side of your seat for the sake of doing something. "Me too."
Felix shifts, extending one leg to make himself more comfortable. "Good." He's so quiet for a second, you almost think that might be the end of the conversation. You're about to go back to picking out the pictures to finish off the page you'd been working on when he starts again, "So you don't need to worry about me resenting you."
Your eyes narrow. "I didn't say anything about you resenting me." Your chin lifts slightly, an attempt at displaying your indignation. "Why are you saying it like that was an option?"
He grins, dropping himself back onto your pillow. "No reason."
You roll your eyes at his sarcasm. He's the one that came over to your room without being asked to. "Sure."
"What?" His tone implies nothing but perfect innocence. He picks up his book, opening it as if he's done nothing wrong. "Y'should come over here before the resentment sets in and I lose all interest."
You let out a loud sigh, but move to stand regardless. "Yeah, that feels like a real possibility."
When you don't move, Felix glances away from his book. "You're not gonna come over here?" He looks up at you, a hint of a pout playing at his expression. "I was kidding."
You cross your arms, fighting against a smile. "I just stood up." That's not enough to convince him to stop looking at you like that. You take a few steps forward with a sigh that's more out of habit than anything else. "You are so dramatic."
You sit on your bed, crossing your legs beneath you. Felix shifts onto his side. His freehand finds your knee. "You cried because of this book."
Eyes narrowing, you lean forward to get a better sense of how far into the book he's gotten. "Wait a few chapters."
Felix snaps his head in your direction, "Lovie. You said you wouldn't--" Your sentence runs into his, "I didn't--I didn't spoil it."
He frowns, watching you skeptically. "That was mean."
"You started it." You're aware that you sound like a little kid, but you can't help it. With a sigh, you give up, laying down. He's taking up most of your bed, but you're far from uncomfortable. "Fine. I'm sorry."
With little warning, Felix leans forward and presses a kiss against your temple. "Want me to read to you?"
You're used to Felix's random displays of affection, but every once in awhile something will take you by so much surprise you feel it more than you should. You blink. "Yeah," you mumble, hoping that your voice comes out even, "Sounds nice."
Felix shifts onto his back, one hand finding your arm and the other holding his book.
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taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy
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papamado · 1 day
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A "theory" regarding Sampo's abilities
okay so this is an absolute mess and more of a ramble but I think it might be worth sharing so here I am Since I'm very normal about Sampo Koski, I've noticed some paralels to.. osme things... and i ended up with a concept that Sampo might be aware/know the script - just like Elio does On Belobog we don't encounter stellaron hunters (for obvious reasons), but Sampo does end up being the one who affects the way the plot goes and actively puts it in motion, he's the one in control (to some extent) He also appears to be aware of stuff that has yet to happen and its possible outcomes (getting Natasha even before we started fighting Svarog, knowing that we will arrive on Luofu despite it being an unplanned stop, the possible future Belobog catastropy) There's 2 ways to approach this: 1. He works with the Script in mind (following the trailblazer around, kinda like stellaron hunters happen to do) 2. He deliberately works against it (Jarilo VI is supposed to face destruction but he prevents it, could be for personal reasons) Theres also the whole thing about him breaking the 4th wall, which could be connected. Awarnesss of the fact that this is a game could result in him having a knowledge of what the plot of said game is.
I strongly HC Sampo to be an Elation emanator, so I thought about what being an elation emanator could mean, as in, how realistically the powers could manifest From the recent guide that was released along side the 2.2 stream, we have a small entry about Masked Fools which confirms that the path powers are DIRECTLY tied to their masks (this could mean both metaphorical or physical masks but from what i get from the context here it most likely refers to the physical ones?? the concept works with both possibilities tho so whatever <3 )
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We know that sampo doesn't have his mask currently (which also works in a symbolic way, Masks represent the devotion to Elation, him not having it could represent how he wants to distance himself from what Elation is considered to be and pursue his own idea of it instead. The general description provided here for how masked fools are doesn't exactly fit him either whichmight further prove that idea, i should write a seperate post on that, anyways-) , so how the hell can he do shit that we assumed earlier was Elation-related powers? i have 2 possible explanations for this 1. Him being an emanator lets him use the path powers without a need for a mask, if thats the case - the mask would only provide a powerup 2. Elation emanator powers are something else altogether
when we look at his current power set/abilities it can all be tied to the fact that this is a game so, him bieng an emanator of elation would allow him to ignore the rules of this world/mainupulate said rules, simple as that it would also explain why he can break the 4th wall, why he is aware of the script in the first place and how he can do stuff that contradicts what's been established lore vise (like how nobody should be able to cross the barrier between the Overworld and Underworld), those rules don't apply to him, he's beyond them. But there's more we DO have an in game example of people already messing with the reality in the same manner - Silver Wolf From what I gathered (with help of some friends of mine mwah mwah), the "reality editing" abilites of Punklorde people are directly tied to a technology present in said world - that combined with the world view of those living here results with them reating the world they live in as if it was a game
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Adding onto that, during "punklorde mentality" mission we get to hear Leonard say this:
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"Masked fools believe it really exists" so are the Masked Fools aware that someone could posses *actual* (not provided by technology) power to alter/manipulate reality and ignore the established rules of the world? We can kinda see such thing happening with Aha in stimulated universe, not only do they break the 4th wall, but according to Herta they also seem to be affecting the stimulated universe itself Aha's manipulation of reality is also mentioned in the "Glimpses into the Beyond"
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So maybe to wrap it all up: 1. Sampo could be aware of the script and use the reality manipulation abilities/the fact that the rules don't apply to him to achieve a desired outcome 2. Him and the Stellaron Hunters have some paralels in the narrative when it comes to the role that they play and what they do?? kinda??? 3. Punklorde people could be affiliated with Elation to some extent, even if not directly blessed by it I am probably VERY wrong about all of this but honestly I'm having fun with this theory so idc <3
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This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.
In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.
It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.
Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.
Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.
Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.
All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':
"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."
Um. Yes, Sir.
*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.
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comradekatara · 2 days
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Can you go a bit more in depth about your post about Sokka in the Burning Rock episode? You said that it was basically his suicide mission, which I agree with. I'd really like to hear more of your thoughts on it.
okay yeah i mean i'm sure i've covered all these points before extensively because i love weaving a tapestry of sokka's fucked up psychological landscape more than anything in the world, but every so often someone will comment on one of my posts and be like "i think you're reaching i think sokka is the paragon of mental health actually" and i'm just like um. did we not all watch the boiling rock. did we just ignore the apotheosis of sokka's entire character arc. like katara's apotheosis in "the southern raiders" is both very overt and impactful and also, arguably, subtler than sokka's, because they don't explicitly spell out the themes every five seconds, but like. if you didn't watch the boiling rock then you cannot understand sokka. and weirdly enough i also believe that zuka shippers are the biggest culprit of this despite this episode being thee zucchini episode because they somehow still have the audacity to characterize sokka as "goofy sunshine who exists to comfort zuko" when like. the entire point is that sokka is legitimately suicidal here and zuko is doing everything in his power to support him thru what is quite literally a mental breakdown. like their relationship is legitimately interesting i don't understand how people have taken that and made it deeply boring.....but i digress.
the boiling rock is quite obviously sokka at his lowest. the worst thing that could ever happen to him – fumbling a mission that was squarely his responsibility, from its conception to its execution, due to not being able to sufficiently compartmentalize his emotions, leading to the mass imprisonment of most of his comrades, including the men of his tribe whom he idolized his entire life and felt immense pressure to live up to, including his father who he is deathly afraid of disappointing (for reasons that have nothing to hakoda being malicious or neglectful in any way, fwiw), and thus being directly implicated in the failure and the harm caused by said failure – happened. sokka is someone who is especially bad at dealing with failure, because a) he is exceptionally talented, and thus has less experience dealing with failure in both minor and major ways, and thus lacks the emotional resilience developed through the process of struggle and growth that normal people (such as, incidentally, zuko) go through and b) to sokka, whose primary desire at all times is to protect and provide for others in any way he possibly can, for someone else to sacrifice themselves for him constitutes a fundamental disruption to the order. there is a perverse wrongness to kya or yue or hakoda or suki making sacrifices on their own volition, because it means that sokka has existentially failed to protect them by martyring himself. like, he somehow feels so guilty about suki being imprisoned that when azula reveals this piece of information to him, it literally distracts him from his own mission. and mind you, there's absolutely no way sokka could have known or been responsible for suki's imprisonment. but he still feels guilty nonetheless. and azula knows that, knows exactly how to twist the knife to make him break, because, well, it's honestly pretty obvious.
sokka obviously cannot retroactively save his mother or his first girlfriend, but he can save his father and his current girlfriend. in "the awakening" aang says he has to restore his honor after the guilt and shame of his failure in ba sing se (aang is also an incurable gifted kid perfectionist, btw, as is azula. posts for another time...) and sokka repeats zuko's line again in this episode, after experiencing the guilt and shame of his failure during the eclipse. the driving motivation of zuko's entire character, feeling like he has failed in some ontological way and must therefore redeem himself or die trying, is reinforced through aang and sokka's respective experiences mirroring that drive. aang goes out in a storm and nearly drowns to redeem himself in some vague, nebulous way, because he isn't thinking rationally. and likewise sokka, who usually always has a plan and always thinks things through, feels that caution and foresight is pointless, because he came up with a genuinely brilliant invasion plan and it didn't work, so clearly there's something wrong with him (just as he always suspected) and no amount of planning even matters, because he's a capital F Failure and always will be. and so he vows to save his father, as he promised him he would when they parted on the day of black sun, or die trying, because if he can't even do that then what is he good for; at least he'll die a martyr, which to him, is basically his ideal situation. because to sokka, dying as a martyr is basically the highest form of fulfilling his purpose (being needed, protecting people) and so if he dies a martyr, then maybe his catastrophic failure (that is entirely his fault and rests squarely on his shoulders btw) can be forgiven. so his plan is basically just to sacrifice himself for his father so that he can die "redeemed." very normal, rational, healthy behavior, i would say.
sidenote, i also see people claim that "the boiling rock" makes sokka look stupid because why wouldn't he take any of the insanely talented benders to a prison in a giant volcano surrounded by a boiling lake, and it's like. sokka literally admits that he's not being rational, that he doesn't think he's going to survive this, that this is not a good idea. it would go against sokka's entire modus operandi if he brought the children who he feels a deep, presiding responsibility to protect on a suicide mission that he's lowkey hoping will fail (because he not so secretly loves courting death. it's like she's the moon or something). he only lets zuko come with him because he doesn't actually care whether zuko lives or dies at this point. sokka has absolutely no faith in zuko whatsoever (and frankly, why would he, zuko has yet to actually prove himself to him. he didn't even kill combustion man; sokka did) so he has no idea that zuko is actually going to be helpful and supportive in a meaningful way. and frankly, if he had known that at the beginning, or even remotely liked zuko as a person, he probably wouldn't have caved so easily when zuko invited himself to join. if he didn't think that zuko was objectively worse than him and basically worthless as a human being, i doubt he would have let himself be so vulnerable with zuko in the first place. meanwhile zuko is eating it up bc he's like "omg he's confiding in me he's letting me help him we're basically besties" because he doesn't actually know sokka well enough to realize that sokka doesn't actually do that shit with people he remotely respects. shit like "my first girlfriend turned into the moon" and "i had a feeling this was going to be a one way trip" are simply not things that sokka would say out loud 98% of the time. the fact that he is admitting something real is not a testament to the trust he places in zuko, but rather the opposite. sokka spilling his guts (you know, for him) to his resident collateral damage, sokka bringing his lovingly crafted space sword on this mission, sokka not even confirming whether or not his father is actually there beforehand – he's simply stopped giving a fuck, he doesn't care whether or not he lives to see another day, because to him, he has nothing left to lose.
but of course, that also isn't true at all. i mean, for one thing, zuko still needs to teach aang firebending, so he does serve a pretty important function to the group, and zuko simply telling him to do hot squats in his absence does not qualify as significant tutelage. but also, even more importantly, sokka is integral to the fabric of the group. when he's gone for a day in "sokka's master" they literally all just shut down and start complaining about how much they miss him (we don't actually see any b-roll of the gaang hanging around the western air temple because the episode is simply too busy for that, so who can say whether the same thing occurs twice). sokka cannot afford to simply die just because his first plan failed, he still has a major responsibility to his friends. fucking idiot. i've said before that sokka has the emotional resilience of like. a pathetic wet newborn kitten caught in the rain. but like, come on man. i mean, as someone who has also suffered from debilitating perfectionist issues and never had to be responsible for a failed military invasion that cost my people their freedom, i do get it, but still. not his best moment. although there is something genuinely admirable about the fact that after he finds suki, he decides that saving suki is enough, and genuinely does want to succeed in his mission going forward. like his love for suki is one of the only things that consistently makes him happy and makes him forget that his greatest dream in life is to be murdered, and that's so beautiful to me.
the entire point of this episode, by the way, is that sokka is wrong. if that isn't obvious. sokka's entire worldview, that he only has value insofar as he exists to provide for others, and if he fails to protect people in any capacity, he has fundamentally failed to uphold the one reason he even exists on this earth, and thus he does not deserve to exist unless he is bearing the weight of everyone's suffering or otherwise proving his worth through sacrificing himself for others, is um. fucking stupid???? and incorrect. and stupid. the thing is, unlike zuko, sokka can't really point to any one person who taught him to see himself this way. he can't just face his father and tell him that his abuse was cruel and wrong, because hakoda is a good father who has never not supported and believed in and encouraged him, done everything in his power to protect him, loved him unconditionally. hakoda has inadvertently damaged sokka's psyche in various ways, of course, but never with any intention to hurt him. like, ozai tried to kill zuko, on multiple occasions. it's a pretty obvious indicator of the primary source of harm in his life. but sokka is equally if not more Unwell, and there's no one single figure he can blame, because his complex lies within a tangled web of what my best friend fanon calls the "massive psychoexistential complex" of the colonized subject. he is being dehumanized not through interpersonal abuse, but through the violent logic of imperialism. sokka's formative traumas inform his psychology as he understands that he only has value insofar as he is protecting the people he loves (namely his sister) from being murdered by imperialists, much like his mother did. and that logic is continually reified through the violence he is being subjected to, until he truly absorbs the belief that his life has no value on its own, that he is genuinely Less than [human] in some fundamental way. which is obviously deeply tragic, but also lowkey kind of comical because he also happens to be the specialest boy in the world, who literally did come up with multiple working escape plans at the world's most secure supermax on the fly, mind you! but whenever anyone tries to point that out, including piandao literally saying "you're the most exceptional and worthy person i've ever met in my life" sokka is just like "um. that is incorrect actually." like NO ONE should depersonalize themselves and feel that their only value lies in their ability to serve and sacrifice themselves for others, but it's especially ironic that sokka literally does not think he has any value as a human being, and yet he is also objectively exceptional. like, do you understand why i adore this character so much. do you.
anyway. the point of this episode isn't that sokka has worth because he's exceptional, either. that's lowkey the point of "sokka's master," but also a) sokka doesn't really internalize it and b) the more important part of the episode lies in how much the gaang just misses his company because they miss their neurotic control freak big brother who makes bad jokes. but even if he couldn't come up with multiple working escape plans on the fly, suki and zuko still stay by his side anyway because they care about him. they are demonstrating that they would risk their safety and possibly even their lives, in the exact way that sokka is always trying to for everyone else, for him. that sokka doesn't need to be the one who always protects everyone else, and that he isn't a failure for letting people who care about him help him and protect him. and sokka has to accept their help, because suki and zuko are simply too stubborn not to force him into letting them support him. they are standing in a literal maximum security prison in the middle of a volcano and they are still choosing to prioritize sokka's mental health and wellbeing, which is honestly crazy, but also exactly what he needs in this moment. suki has known sokka for what, 3 days maximum? yes they're soulmates but like, girl get up. and in zuko's case, "girl get up" is magnified tenfold, because he literally risked his life to go with him to the boiling rock (also largely motivated by the guilt of not being able to stage his own prison break with iroh, but still!) and let himself get imprisoned despite being the fire nation's most wanted criminal, stayed by sokka's side no matter what including getting thrown into a literal torture chamber for him, jumped across a gaping boiling chasm with no guarantee that he'd survive except for the implicit expectation that sokka would catch him on the other side. like zuko is so fucking pussywhipped and sokka didn't even value him as a human being until like halfway through their entire mission. insane.
in conclusion: "the boiling rock" is a beautiful story of the most mentally ill boy on the planet (he took first place ever since jet died rip jet forever in our hearts), and his two ride or die bitches who he met like yesterday, and also his dad, and a casual homophobe named chit sang, all working together to demonstrate to him why killing yourself is a bad idea in most cases, probably. it's also the story of the most insane dyke drama of all time, but that's for another post (of which i have of course made multiple, most recently, here). i said it's the apotheosis of sokka's arc, and by that i mean it's the most overt acknowledgement of what his fundamental issue is, and the first steps one must take in actually resolving it (namely, accepting help and support from your peers and loved ones). do i think that sokka is magically cured after returning from the boiling rock? no, probably not (in fact, because i'm somewhat sick & twisted myself, i like to imagine that once the war ends, he actually gets worse). but he does seem genuinely happier after they return. and maybe that's just bc kyoshi warrior pussy hits different, but like. he was able to rely on others for help (including mai my best friend mai) who supported him unconditionally and prevented him from simply giving up, and that's so incredibly important. that kind of support is always important, to everyone, of course, but as we've established, it's especially important to sokka specifically, at his lowest (quite possibly ever), in this situation. no one has an obligation to risk their life for someone else, but sokka is something who thinks that his purpose is to risk his life for other people (namely katara), and so for people who really have nothing to gain and everything to lose in standing by and promising not to leave without him, to actually show that they support him unconditionally is huge. if sokka has no fans then i am dead and so is suki zuko hakoda toph aang piandao iroh the mechanist etc etc etc. perfect episode <3
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givehimthemedicine · 21 hours
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El's protectiveness and friendships in the lab
wanted to take a minute to appreciate that El's protectiveness isn't a character trait that only emerges post-lab. she's always been that way [assuming, for this post, that NINA stuff more or less happened]; it just couldn't always present in a way that looks badass on a poster.
El and Eighteen
only crumbs here, but if I have to point out a lab kid that El is friendlier with than the others, it's Eighteen.
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El holding Eighteen's hand is the only affectionate act I've ever noticed between any of the lab kids, and offering that comfort to her littlest sister is probably as "protective" as El can afford to be (esp as an eight year old with the least power and social standing of anyone).
when the kids in general laugh at El for failing at the light game, Eighteen is not one of the kids shown doing so.
Eighteen is the first dead child El is shown to be upset about. it's not that she looks more distressed about her than the others, but it's odd that she saw Ten dead on the floor next to Brenner a second before this and didn't really react. (maybe she couldn't tell Ten was dead from the doorway? idk)
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maybe an El/Eighteen friendship is cornplating or whatever the youths are calling it, but bearing in mind that we're never actually told that El/Eight had some super close friendship, maybe theirs looked something like this.
side note - are friendships even permitted in the lab?
letting the kids form friendships could be dangerous, as Brenner, couldn't it? risks them forming alliances against you? this is why I was asking the other day if socializing seems discouraged in the RR. like, even the bullies, who were "friends," never chatted openly in there unless the cameras were off. maybe any lab friendships have to be hush hush by nature.
anyway idk there's just something about us going "🤯 same numbers!!!" upon seeing the 001 / 011 tattoos, and then 008 + 018 being the only other kids El is hinted at being friendly with... why are we reusing the same pattern? 001 / 008 / 011 / 018 just happen to be every combination of those three numbers within the number of available children.
especially with El "being 8" (as in, years old) at this time. it's giving Henry, 12 / mother of 5. idk where I'm going with that but I'm squinting. Eighteen, you're not some bizarro Little Eight who has an inverted friendship with Big El, right?
El lashing out in the lab
we're shown repeatedly that El hates seeing people get hurt, but multiple times onscreen (and you know innumerable times off) she witnesses severe abuse to her siblings, and we never see her act in their defense like post-lab El would. of course, that's because she realistically can't. we know trying to help anyone in the lab accomplishes little except getting both people in trouble. but I was thinking about how we DO see El lash out for her own sake in 1983. so what's the takeaway? El cares more about protecting herself than others? nah. let's look at the other guard killing scene (again. assuming this really happened):
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when similarly cornered in 1979, El's immediate response is silent surrender.
why is her behavior so different? because she's weak? too scared / well controlled? too nice to kill? all those factors have already been established as non-issues in this moment. (she does have her powers here; the circle game proved that Brenner can't control El and knows it; killing when cornered is canonically within her nature)
you might think having a staff member on her side would make her more defiant, but instead she's more compliant here than in '83 (either time. even in the non-guard-killing flashback, El screams and struggles the whole way.)
El and One
he's the difference. she doesn't know he's her brother or has powers yet, but he has presented himself as a fellow prisoner rather than someone in a position of authority. she's also already seen him get punished because of her.
as far as El knows right here, if she lashes out - whether she then escapes successfully or not - she'd be bringing SEVERE punishment onto a nice guy who can't defend himself or escape.
she has a chance at freedom, the power to kill, and the escape route all planned out, but she doesn't do it. the thing that's not in her nature is abandoning a friend to God-knows-what punishment on her behalf.
so while One killing the guards is an act of protection to El, it's also a massive act of protection to One that El is ready to throw out the whole plan right here. don't miss it just because it's not the classic El-screamy-hand thing.
she's sacrificing her chance at freedom in hopes of slightly mitigating his punishment. (they're both doomed to very bad punishment upon capture right here, but if she escapes I think he'd get punished even worse. so she's choosing to share in pretty bad punishment over him being punished extremely severely and her not at all.)
even aside from punishment, she knows she'll be returning to an even worse home life than the one she believed necessitated her immediate escape (Brenner apparently arranging for her to be killed).
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so here, can she afford to act out not only because she's acting alone, but because she's an only child, so to speak? there's no one else who could potentially suffer as a result of her actions. no other siblings to use as leverage. no one to protect.
whatever consequences Brenner carried El off to after killing those orderlies, she bore it alone.
I can sorta read this as protective of the other kids in general - not that she did it, but that she didn't until now.
am I saying Brenner might have randomly punished other kids as a result of something El did?
have you met the guy? definitely would've threatened it, might've actually done it. manipulation by whatever means necessary.
when you work in a building full of superpowered people who hate you, you gotta control them psychologically, because physical control isn't something you can maintain for long. it's imperative that they're more afraid of the consequences of kicking your ass than they are of whatever torture you're putting them through. emotional manipulation using friends and innocents as pawns is a classic move. (another reason the kids might want to keep lab friendships secret even if they're allowed.)
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that's not theory - we've seen Brenner use this tactic onscreen, telling El that he'll have Owens killed if she tries to get to him. he knows he can't physically control her, so he exerts psychological control by placing Owens' blood on El's hands to get her to cooperate.
the phrase "blood on one's hands" means being responsible for deaths, not having literally, personally committed murder. this imagery is used onscreen to denote El's sense of guilt about the massacre well before she comes to the conclusion that she actually did it. (this could be symbolism that El's mind organically dreamed up instead of engineered fuckery, but who knows. we have no textual explanation yet for how her hands would be that bloody).
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and together with Brenner very textually using the kids against each other in other ways - having them literally duel each other in the circle game, but also the "driving them to do exactly what he wants" stuff - I don't think it's unreasonable to figure that fear of harm to the other kids was a manipulation tactic used in the lab.
that definitely includes One - lines like "I'm not going with you / if he finds me he will find you" "I wanted to help you, but I only made things worse" smack of a guy kept in line by fear of something happening to the kids.
and the Brenner-orchestrating-El's-murder story smells like a psyop. is this just Brenner wanting One to think harm would come to El as a consequence of his actions? (she became "uncontrollable" as a result of his coaching). El is too valuable an asset to actually kill. who would know better than One that the treatment for being uncontrollable is soteria, not death? assuming One is being truthful, why would he not see through that. idek what I think is going on here anymore
anyway. MKUltra is ALL about manipulation but I'll talk more about that in my other post
times El protects her friends the same way she protected One
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practically every move El makes is about protecting her friends but I want to point out a few times that are specifically reminiscent of her protection of One, where she's ready to give up her freedom to protect her friends even at risk of the worst case scenario (going back to the lab):
sacrificing herself to protect the party from the demogorgon ("no more") <- is that line in reference to the 6 people the demogorgon has snatched, or is that a massacre reference given how incredibly parallel these scenes are. I'm not sure whether "goodbye Mike" meant she thought she'd die or just get so wiped out that she'd be easily recaptured by the lab
leaving Kali and "freedom" to return to Hawkins and protect her friends, where she volunteers to go back into the lab to close the gate
leaving Cali and "freedom" to return to the lab to get her powers back to protect her friends
final thought: I just had a chuckle with myself at the fact that iirc it's Mike and Nancy whose lives El has individually, directly saved the most times.
[honorable mention for Max because I don't know how to quantify 4x9. is that like one massive save?]
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like, Mike, okay, but why the Nancy emphasis when she and El have basically zero onscreen relationship. (actually I have a lot to say about El and Nancy coming up soon that might add context)
idk.. lab sibling guilt smth smth El protecting Nancy "she'll be like your new sister" and Mike "will you be like my brother" Creeler. you gotta love it
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pagodazz · 1 day
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your post abt sexualizing the emh characters and actors was based but lets be real we all skipped the princeton tapes anyway
Im going to be so upfront rn. and don't take any offense I'm not mad or anything but I'm definitely gonna get heated HELP.
I listen to the Princeton tapes almost everyday, I revisit the transcripts often when I want easy access to the dialogue. The Princeton tapes might actually be my favorite part of the everymanHYBRID lore. It's so important to everything you need to know for the whole series and it helps explain so much, especially when it comes to vinnie as character.
the Princeton tapes have so much to offer and I think it's such a shame that this fandom chooses to ignore all the effort that the everymanHYBRID guys put into this series. The Princeton tapes has never failed to make me emotional HELP. it's beautiful shit. So I'm so sorry anon I literally cannot agree with this at all because the Princeton tapes are my absolute everything. I genuinely relate to Princeton Vinnie (& also Roger) more than I might relate to anyone on the channel. They're so real, and I wish more than anything they were more than tapes but at the same time I love it so much it's so perfect.
Also while during my most recent rewatch I've realized that in the series HABIT himself will use quote's and shit that Princeton Vinnie himself has said.
This one always sticks out to me, because it feels like habit pulled those words RIGHT out of Vinnies mouth only to in turn use them on him. Of course the Lexi video predates when the tapes came out, but canonically the tapes happened WAYYYYY before this, considering it takes place in the late 80s.
this goes with my idea that HABIT himself has probably had access to those tapes (atleast at some point) and he did he's research on Mr everyman here. but that one is just my personal opinion and I don't expect people to agree.
While people think that the Princeton tapes are daunting and take too long, they're literally shorter than emh as a whole series if ur watching the right shit.
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these videos are basically the full in depth EMH lore and it has videos in it that long since been deleted.
If you're getting into everymanHYBRID and you're not getting into all the lore and then you're gonna go an act like you know everything it's genuinely so??? because you're literally missing out on KEY information.
like did you guys know habit IS in the tapes 😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️ did you WATCH finding fairmount all the way through????
did you know Evan and Jeff are there ⁉️⁉️⁉️
ALSO ??? PATRICK FROM MLANDERSEN0?????? DUDE???? HES IN THERE. THE RAKE FUCKING TALKS TO VINNIE IN THERE.
did you know that EVEN VINNIES DEAD FUCKING GIRLFRIEND LEXI IS THERE. IT HAS SO MUCH INFO. YOU LEARN WAY MORE SHIT ABOUT FAIRMOUNT AND THE MINETOWN FOUR IN IT. IM GENUINELY SO AT A LOSS RN. HELP IM TOO AUTISTIC FOR THIS ASK. BECAUSE IN NO WORLD WOULD I EVER DREAM OF SKIPPING THE TAPES.
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Banana Split
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Steven Grant x GN!Reader • Rating: M •Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | requestinfo• MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist• ko-fi •
Summary: You get an ice cream.
🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜
A/N: Last one for the MK bingo! I didn't quite get to finish the board (the other fics are just not in a good state to post, maybe I'll sort them out one day ^^)
Warnings: finger sucking, over use of italics, typos, not beta read, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 638
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It had started with a playful argument about banana splits when you were in Kaspas. 
You weren’t quite sure how the discussion had started, just that the aforementioned desert had been on the menu and Steven and Marc had gone at it. 
Their bickering was always playful, a kind of sparring match that they seemed to partake in mainly for sport, and not so much for actually arguing about a topic. 
Seventy percent of the time you were pretty sure that they only took opposite sides so that they could continue quarrelling. 
Steven had said that banana splits were invented in the UK. Marc said USA. Steven had gotten up the Wikipedia page. Marc had gloated about how he was right. Steven had countered with, ‘yeah, but it does say no one knows for sure, doesn’t it? So it could have been anywhere.’ Marc had complained Steven was a sore loser, and ‘that everyone that could have been credited with inventing it was from America. So he wins.’ Steven had added, ‘Technically, you can’t invent a food.’ Marc, his tone dripping with exasperation, ‘Oh, getting technical now, are we? Because you’re a sore loser?’ 
It had carried on from there.  
Somewhere in between laughing you hadn’t quite been paying attention to your own ice cream sundae and some of the strawberry sauce had worked its way along the spoon and onto your fingers. You’d tutted and wiped it with a napkin, and hadn’t thought much more of it. 
That was until later when you were walking through the park with Steven and your fingers kept brushing together and sticking. The sauce, even though on inspection you could see absolutely no trace of it, was there on some microscopic level. Catching and fusing your fingers together. You tried to wipe your skin clean on a spare tissue, and then your trousers to no avail. 
The sensation was driving you close to madness. The constant irritation. The unending catch and pull. You couldn’t stop them from sticking without holding your fingers apart at a weird angle that started to cramp your hand. 
You needed to find a toilet, a sink, hell, even a puddle. Anything to-
“Love? You okay?” Steven frowns sympathetically, looking down at your hand. 
You nod halfheartedly. “Fingers are sticky.” 
“From the sauce?” 
You nod again.
He gave you a sympathetic look, his eyes softening in that sweet expression. “Poor love.” He kisses your cheek, knowing about and understanding your detest for the sensory experience. 
“Here.” He takes your hand carefully, so as to not push your fingers together. “These two?” He points to your middle and forefinger. 
You barely get a chance to nod, your mouth open to speak, but the words die in your throat as Steven sticks your fingers in his mouth and sucks them clean.
For a brief moment, all thoughts drain out of your head. Your mind completely blank. You try not to stare, you really do. Your breathing hitches at the slide of his tongue, the warmth of his mouth, the way his eyes have closed. A spark of pleasure rushes down your spine. 
You really, really shouldn’t be enjoying this quite so much. 
He finishes. Taking your fingers out of his mouth with a pop, and smiles innocently. 
You stay staring. 
“Better?”
There is a pause before you remember how to speak. “I… erm…”
“Oh don’t worry!” He beams. “Strawberry sauce is vegan,” he waves a hand dismissively, but I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t.” 
You grab his arm, your skin burning with a deep heat, and begin to march him towards the park exit. If you didn’t get out of there in the next minute you were going to have to find some bushes to fuck him in.
“Love?” 
“We’re going home.” 
“What? Why?” 
Oh, he’d find out why.
____________________________________________
Thank you for reading!
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misc-obeyme · 2 days
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Got this chat last night and dnjsffhksodwkodw he's so sweet. I mean, we could all guess pretty certainly that Barbatos would drop anything and everything at any time to help out MC, but this confirms it in a way that makes me love him even more <3
Also! I don't have screenshots of this one, but during the current event, Barbatos reveals that he keeps teas that MC likes in his room. Not only that, but he keeps them near Diavolo's favourites; which really proves we are his two favouties <3 There's been a lot of Barbatos content recently that just proves how much he cares, and I am living for it!!
Just imagine Barbatos having all of your favourites teas and being able to make you whatever you want before you even ask for it.
And og my stars don't even get me started on Barbatos visiting you to help you unwind before sleep. I just know he'd give the best massages, and that tea he said he'd make you? Divine.
Just being around Barbatos at any time is very calming and peaceful (at least in my mind) so imagine what it would be like when he's actually trying to be calming...
Oh yes, I was so obsessed with that part of the event where he talks about his tea shelf, I got out of bed at 3 in the morning to post all the screenshots here. I would've just done it on mobile, but there's a 10 picture limit for mobile posts. :(
Anyway, in case anyone wanted to see the screenshots of that part, they are all there lol.
This is exactly why I love Barbatos so much. It's the way he notices things without being told, the way he just takes it upon himself to bring MC whatever they need, the way he takes care of them.
It's like he's not so wrapped up in himself that he can see what other people need and he takes great care to notice especially when it's someone he loves.
This is the quality that made him my favorite. I'm one of those people who tends not to tell others when I'm struggling irl. Like it isn't that I'm trying to deceive people, it's more that I don't want to burden them with my problems, you know? So a lot of times, it goes unnoticed. Which isn't anyone's fault but mine. But there's something about the idea of someone noticing despite how much you try to hide it or brush it off, someone who won't let you just pretend that there's nothing going on or that you don't need help, someone who insists on doing those things for you anyway. And doing it in a way that isn't like it's some big deal. Barbatos is just like, you are having trouble sleeping, I will come over and make you tea to help with that. And that's it.
I'm also extremely anxious irl. I find that being with people who are calm reduces my anxiety quite a bit. And I just know that even just being around Barbatos would keep me calm. I'd probably be nervous at first because I would think he's soooo cool lol. But once I get past that introverted shyness, I would just want to be with him all the time. Because I'd feel that sense of calm that I don't get to feel on my own very often.
Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, I've written too many essays about Barbatos at this point adlk;fdskljf
It's just that I too was especially touched by these moments! He would indeed be the calming and peaceful influence that would easily allow anyone stressed to relax enough to drift into slumber...
And you know he'd give the best massages.
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lynaferns · 3 hours
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The Forest On The Other Side
Chapter 1: I want to go home.
Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]
A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...
Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.
This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.
I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.
AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.
The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.
Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.
Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.
Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.
CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.
Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)
Welp.
Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.
We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.
Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.
It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.
Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.
I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.
There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.
And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.
I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.
I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.
I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-
I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-
They're getting closer.
I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.
...
...
...
Where am I?
Fuck.
Where am I?
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.
...
I'm going to disappear.
...
For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-
...
There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...
What's this?
I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.
In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.
Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?
A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.
It's still there.
For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.
...
...And the rock? It's not there.
I go back and look from inside the portal.
The rock is there.
...
I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?
Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.
Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.
...
Welp.
I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.
I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?
A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.
...
I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.
...
Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!
Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.
This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.
*cling*
...?
I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.
There's nothing inside.
?
There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.
*...*
Nothing.
I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.
I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.
*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.
Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...
“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”
“-HEEEEELLO!”
“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.
“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”
“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.
“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.
It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”
He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”
“Yeah- but- WHY?”
“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”
“...What?”
“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.
“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.
“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”
“…”
“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”
“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”
“...” “No idea!”
“...”
“...”
I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”
“...” “You don't seem like it.”
*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”
He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.
“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...
“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”
He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.
“um...”
“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.
I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”
“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”
“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.
“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”
“...”
“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”
I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”
“...Consequences...?”
“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”
“...”
“...”
“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.
“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.
“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.
I shrugged.
“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”
“...”
“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.
“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”
“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”
I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.
“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.
“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”
He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”
“You're still not my friend.”
“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”
“Hm?”
He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”
“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.
“Come with me!”
“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.
Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.
“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.
“Do you want us to paint something!?”
“Not really...”
“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”
“Nah.”
“...And in star leaves-?”
“I don't want to paint, Sun.”
“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”
“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.
He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”
“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.
“Oh... well, theeen-”
We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”
“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.
“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.
“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.
“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.
“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.
“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.
“He's a little rascal!”
“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.
“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”
“...” “...no, pass...”
“…”
“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.
“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.
“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”
“No...”
“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.
“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.
“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.
“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.
“Yeah, I see.”
“We call 'em Adoquín!”
“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”
*THUMP!*
“…”
The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.
Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.
“...” Alright.
“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”
I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”
“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.
“To... I don't know, pine cones?”
“...You don't look very convinced.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.
He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.
We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.
I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.
“…” I nod.
We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.
“…”
*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”
“…”
“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”
“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.
“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”
“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.
We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.
“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-
*rush*
“........eh?”
A rope.
A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.
“.......”
What?
He said he knew a better place.
No. It can't be this.
“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...
It can't be.
A better place.
He can't be referring to this.
A better place.
A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.
“Can you put your foot in?!”
“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”
“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”
“..............”
“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"
… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”
“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.
I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”
“Are you ready!?”
“Yes!”
“Okay!”
He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”
“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.
We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.
I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.
“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”
“…”
“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...
“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.
“...” “Well, I do.”
“…”
“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.
“…”
“...” “What brings you to the forest?”
“...” Really? “I got lost.”
“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”
“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”
“...” “Only that?”
“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?
“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.
“...” “What?”
“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”
“Cycles?”
“Mhm” He nods.
“...What are cycles?”
Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.
“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”
“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”
“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”
“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”
“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.
“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.
“What do you mean they left-?”
“They 'left'!”
“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”
“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.
It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”
“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.
“...okay. What is this forest?”
“My home! And the home of many other animals.”
“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”
“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.
“Oh... and who's that someone?”
“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.
“Um-”
“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!
“¿eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.
“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”
“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”
“You can keep some of mine!”
“No, it's okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You suuuuure??” He insist.
“Yeees.”
He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.
“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”
“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”
“Don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”
“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”
“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.
“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”
“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.
“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”
“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.
“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”
“Comics?”
“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”
“...It's a book with drawings?”
“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”
“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”
“I didn't bring them anyway.”
“Do you normally carry them around?”
“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”
“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”
“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.
“Why did you stop coming?”
“...That's personal.”
“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”
I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”
“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”
“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”
“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”
“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.
“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.
*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *
…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.
Okay.
I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.
It's been a few hours now.
I can't sleep, I simply can't.
It doesn't look like he's coming back.
*creek*
…?
*rin*
*tap tap, creek*
Sun?
“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.
*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*
*rin dirrin*
If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.
*dirriring dirring*
I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.
The glow is gone.
*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*
It's on the roof.
*tap, tap, tap...*
It moves again.
*rin *
It sounded on the other side of the wall.
“nghehe...”
It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no no no no.
I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.
*creeek*
It came from the door. It's trying to get in.
*rin*
The trapdoor.
*rin dirring*
Where was the trapdoor?
*creek creeeek*
I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.
*tap tap ring dirring*
…!
I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.
*rin, creeek...*
Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-
I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-
It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-
A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.
I slowly peek out from behind the tree.
*rin*
It sounded above me.
I don't look up, I run.
“nnghehee...” He laughs.
He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.
I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.
“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.
“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.
I throw a rock at him “AGH!”
The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.
“...”
“...”
I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.
…?
Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?
“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.
“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.
“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.
“...” Moonman remains silent again.
“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.
“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.
“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”
The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.
“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.
“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”
“...” There's no response from the moon man.
“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”
“...”
The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.
“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.
He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.
A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.
My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.
“Oof...” Hurts.
*creek, tap tap tap tap*
Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.
*creek... *
The door opens.
Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.
“ah?”
“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”
“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.
“Mm?”
“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.
He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”
“...”
“No?”
“...”
“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”
“...” I want to leave.
“You don't like them either...?”
“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.
“...”
“*snif... *”
“u-um...!”
“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.
“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”
I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.
“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.
“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.
“...W-what? Um...”
“...” *hic, hic *
“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”
“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”
“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”
“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”
“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.
“I want to go home...”
He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.
“...”
“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.
“...” I nod my head.
We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.
Sun has been quiet the entire time.
He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”
“...”
I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.
A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.
Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.
I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.
...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.
I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.
The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.
I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.
“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.
It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.
My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.
I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.
*rin, diring diring*
“...”
I open it.
It's empty.
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kangals · 3 days
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way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.
in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.
last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.
then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!
idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.
and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.
sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.
i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.
thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.
i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.
i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.
thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.
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coldgoldlazarus · 1 day
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If you don't mind answering, what did you mean about zombie media being a dehumanization simulator?
I'm also not a fan of zombie media but I don't think I've heard that before and I'm genuinely very curious
I made another post a few months back explaining it better, but I can't find it now, so I guess here's the short version. Basically three main reasons it all puts me off. Reason 1 is just the excessive gore, I don't deal well with that, (plus the whole idea of the Identity Death side of it kinda freaks me out too) but I know it's more of a subjective aspect. The other two are the more important things, basically different ways The Vibes Are Off.
Second reason being, a lot of zombie media seems to really feed into the sort of "rugged lone survivors with a gazillion guns and some canned beans" apocalypse fantasy that's disturbingly prevalent in the US among the far right. The "rapture is coming, and we're gonna make it through with a ton of toxic masculinity and a reversion to traditional roles" mindset. I assume there has been at least some stuff out there that's used the premise to deconstruct or parody this attitude, but the vast majority that I'm aware of, and certainly the most popular/successful tends to uncritically uphold it.
And then the third thing is the dehumanization simulator thing I mentioned, which is kinda more an issue with the fundamental setup of a zombie apocalypse in the first place. These things are human shaped, but not actually human anymore, someone like your neighbor or a family member is now an Other and you're not only encouraged to gun them down remorselessly, but required to do so. Also, anyone could be hiding a bite or other sign of infection and turn on you at any moment, so you have to relentlessly keep watch over your survivor group and be prepared to murder anyone at risk of becoming an Other. Like, the recurring message with all this stuff, intentional or not, is tacit or outright encouragement of paranoia and dehumanization, and murdering anything that's too Other for comfort, no matter how human-shaped they are.
(I also remember hearing somewhere that zombie media got a big propoganda push or at least got really big on its own during the Red Scare, which would not surprise me in the slightest.)
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infernal-lamb · 7 months
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i’d love to hear more about neves if you’re comfortable sharing :Dc
its so funny to get asked this knowing that I can't reveal too much about Neves without spoiling a bunch of things from my fic, despite that I would love nothing more to spill all her lore......what I CAN tell you is that she was sent to the Lands of the Old Faith for a very particular reason and she's kept safe by the Lamb for a reason too. She comes from a pastoralist/agrarian upbringing and spent the entirety of her life in this profession (hint hint). Livestock, land cultivation, and the demoralizing poverty in a society that does not value such work and considers it a degrading role for outliers! you know, the usual. She talks like a farmer and a butcher, which is how u get silly stuff like THIS happening when she's getting to know the Lamb and their Flock:
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(She's talking like a butcher here, which obviously is off-putting for the Lamb, mostly because they can't quite gather context, and she does....make a lot of jokes like this but. She's just human you know!)
Neves is firm in her convictions and is stubbornly attached to the idea of her own righteousness. She's just too smart to be misled.
She believes herself above indoctrination, of course.
She has too much wit
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too much rebelliousness
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She would never be a victim! That's Neves for you :) She'll survive the horrors.
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mattodore · 7 months
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guy whose childhood drags behind him like a dead body
#river dipping#simblr#ts4#ts4 edit#theodore doe#echthroi#i forgot to post this after sharing theo's birthday edit last night... listen i was so tired i just hit post and passed out#but so far today i've just been looking through character page themes for a bit and messing around with codes while watching dropout tv#i still need to get to my activity feed sometime today or tomorrow and then i want to set aside some time to just hang out on here#and catch up on things like i keep disappearing and missing out on posts jgkhjfnkh so i gotta do that...#but i'm actually fighting off the world's biggest nap rn..... my meds work really well but lord i'm still so tired all the time woof#so i'll probably end up caving soon lmao#but!!! anyway!! THEO!!! there was nothing i could do abt the proportions on theo as a kid like i couldn't make his head any smaller...#the sims team actually hate me so bad and are trying to force the huge cartoonishly big heads onto my sims </3#also when i aged him down to a kid like all of his presets were gone so i just had to try and replicate them to the best of my abilities#his lip preset actually has a much deeper cupid's bow but thanks to the liquify tool <33333 it looks like his regular preset#i've actually posted teen theo on here before but i've made a ton of changes to him since then so this version is pretty different compared#to the older version of him at sixteen#he's definitely got more baby fat than he did before like his cheeks are pretty round#um. also i have these closeups i took of adult theo from the pose i made for his birthday edit that i gotta edit a lil and then post!!!#bc you really didn't get to see his expression or the actual pose that well and EYEEEE personally am really in love with the details#of the pose itself like ugh.......... theo is so.......................... yeah.#holds him
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sunsetzer · 1 month
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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