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bimbo-writer · 1 year

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Does my magic scare you? I

Azul x fem!reader (lilia x reader) [AU]

[Reader has feelings for Azul but gets heartbroken and finds comfort in Lilia]

Contains: porn with plot, oral, cream pies, choking, spanking, degrading, edging, orgasm denial, multiple rounds, mating press, light praise.

Part 2

《♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡》

NRC was your dream school you wanted to prove to everyone that you didn't need to be at some cream puff all girls school. You wanted to show everyone you could be amongst the worlds best Male sorcerers.

You studied your ass off and worked day in and day out to perfect your abilities to use all types of common magic. All the training led you to where you are now being accepted after months of arguing with the principal and three mock battles and tests to prove your worth.

Because you were the first girl to ever get accepted into NRC news of your power spread around school quick. Not only that the magic mirror put you into Diaaomnia the strongest dorm for magic users.

Even with all that it didn't stop guys from teasing you about your uniform or that fact a girl shouldn't be in a man's school. None of the comments got to you expect for one person. Azul Ashengrotto.

For whatever reason this man could just look at you and you felt the need to sucker punch him. The first time the two of you met he introduced himself with such elegance and grace that it left your cheeks with a pink tint and your knees weak.

"We at Octovinelle wish to give you a present for making it into our elite school. Along with a personal welcome from their housewarden me Azul Ashengrotto." he said taking your hand and placing a kiss to it. "Thank but theres really no need for that" you said taking your hand away before your blush grew any bigger.

"We insist after all it's not everyday a girl makes it into our ranks so easily" he teased with a smirk. "I'm not sure what your implying but I'm going to ignore that comment of yours" your lips turned into a frown as your patience's was running thin.

"Forgive me if it came off as rude I merely meant that it's reason to celebrate. With that we hope you come and celebrate with us at the Mostro Lounge." The smile he gave didn't really help him but he didn't really seem like a threat so you let it go.

"Thank you I'll stop by once I've finished my work for the day" you waved bye leaving to your dorm and doing whatever work was assigned that day. You debated going to the lounge since it was a little weird but you did really want to see him again. Against your better judgment you went, dressed to the nines wanting to impress him even just a little.

An elegant black dress with a slit running up your left thigh, gold jewelry glistening against your skin. Everything tied together with black eyeshadow and gold glitter sprinkled on top of it.

As you entered the lounge it grew silent all eyes on you as you waited for someone to seat you. "Um h- hello miss I'll be your waiter for tonight follow me" the shy man stumbled over his sentence as you followed him. The atmosphere of the restaurant was nice and peaceful with light classical music playing.

Azul noticed you had arrived and made his was towards you, "ah hello miss..." his sentence trailing off towards the end realizing he didn't catch your name.

"You dont know my name?" You questioned your curiosity peeked.

"I'm surprised you hadn't heard through all the others at this school Mr.Ashengrotto" you teased while browsing over the menu. His calm demeanor wavering for just a moment before he spoke again, "I dont believe in listening to simple rumors unless they have concrete proof" he mused.

A light laugh escaped your lips to which he raised an eyebrow wondering what was so funny. "Oh forgive me for laughing it's just I've never met a person who didn't indulge in silly rumors, whether real or not". His smirk returned as he slid into the the chair sitting in front of you.

"Does that mean your one to listen to rumors?" He questioned wondering what type of person you are. "Maybe. There where lots of rumours at my high school that I listened to" this conversation seemed to be going somewhere but where?

"Really? What high school did you go to?" He continued to ask you questions throughout the night. You found yourself relaxing for the first time since you got to this school, "I never would have thought that you would be so funny Azul" you said giving him a small smile as you got ready to leave.

"Wait I never did catch your name" he said with a warm smile that made your heart melt. "It's y/n. Y/n l/n" you said timidly before trying to leave again, only to be pulled into his arms making your heart race and face heat up.

"A- Azul what are you-" your sentence was cut off as he dragged you to the V.I.P area closing the door before locking it. "Azul what is the meaning of this-" your sentence being interrupted yet again. "Forgive me but I wanted this conversation to be private" his words made your heart flutter with excitement.

What did he want to say? Was he going to tell you off for the way you dressed? Did he also catch some kind of feelings quickly?

Questions swirled through your head but before they got out of control Azul's voice had brought you back to reality. "Look I know this might be sudden but I wanted to know would you be interested in working at the Mostro Lounge."

Huh?

He wasn't being serious was he. You laughed thinking it was a joke leading to what he was really going to say but no he was serious! "Wait you pulled me into the room to ask me if I wanted a job?" Your repeated wondering if you got things right, "Yes exactly I knew you would understand" he beamed taking your hands in his.

"I'll write up a contract for you as soon as-" you took your hands away from his taking him by surprise. "Are you serious right now!? I've barely been in this school for a month and you're try to get me to work for you? Your no different from the others guys that have been trying to get something from me" you screamed wanting nothing more than for the earth to swallow you whole.

"Don't get me wrong under normal circumstances I would be flattered but considering this is only our second meeting I find it rude as fuck!" You continued walking towards the door ready to leave. Azul wouldn't let you leave so easily though, "my dear l/n I didn't mean you any harm I just figured you'd like to take the opportunity" his voice lowered into a caring tone.

You started to feel a little bad until he pulled you into his arms once again, heart racing at how close you where to him. Face just centimeters away from yours, for a second you thought he would kiss you.

"Just please consider my offer" he whispered in your ear before letting you go causing you to almost fall. You left not wanting to be in the V.I.P room any longer paying for the food then leaving back to your dorm.

The whole way there you grumbled thinking just how much of an ass he was wanting so badly to slap him. When you finally reached your dorm lilia was sitting in the common area reading a book. He noticed your presence asking you how your day was not looking up from his book.

You felt irritated all over again taking a seat next to him beginning to rant about Azul. "I've had a horrible day with Azul trying to get me to work for him at the lounge" you huffed feeling exhausted just thinking about it.

Lilia's eyes grew wide with interest putting his book down to look at you, "really? Well that sounds like it was fun" he teased scooting closer to you. "Don't get me started. He even pulled me into a separate room just to tell me and I felt so used" pouting remembering how much your heart was racing just to be let down.

"You felt used? What where you expecting from him? Something more scandalous" his voice dropped an octave as he moved closer grabbing your chin to face him. Your eyes widened at the sudden change in demeanor as his eyes met yours pulling you into a soft kiss.

You didn't pull away your mind kept yelling at you to stop and tell him this wasn't right but your heart said fuck it. You just wanted to be held something to fill the hole in your heart, and not have to think about what he said any longer.

You pushed forward deeping the kiss throwing your arms around him while his arms snaked their was to your hips holding you still. His tongue dragged across your bottom lips asking for entrance which you didn't hesitate to give.

The feeling of his tongue exploring ever inch of your mouth had your legs rubbing together wanting more. Heat pooling between your legs as you pulled away from lilia, a string of saliva falling apart as you took in his hazed eyes.

Lust clouding your vision as he pulled you into his arms carrying you to his room. He locked the door behind him walking to the bed tossing you before climbing on top. "Such a naughty girl. Going off about some man only to end up in my sheets" he teased pulling your dress off you slowly exposing you inch by inch taking in how beautiful you look.

"This is your fault" voice barely above a whimper out of embarrassment, "I don't exactly see you objecting to this situation". His voice was so teasing while he laid kisses all over your body. Staring from your collar bone moving lower until he reached your clothed pussy.

"You won't be needing these" he mused pulling the material to pool at your ankles and sitting up to take in your helpless state. "Can you not stare" you whispered feeling so exposed even though you still had your bra on. "Oh but you look so nice all spread out for me with nothing but your bra left" his tone was so intoxicating and the way he spoke had you weak.

"Stop teasing" his gaze didn't waver as he closed the distance between you two, "oh my is someone that eager to start?". There it was again that mocking tone that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

"Please..." your body was shaking from excitement ready for him to finally give you what you wanted. "Please what darling? You need to use your words otherwise I won't know what you want" a sly smirk spreading across his face while you pouted not wanting to say it out loud.

"Please fuck me..." your voice trailing off to the end embarrassment flooding your mind as your checks turned red. "Good girl" moving lower until his head was centimeters away from your dripping cunt, he started to rub light circles over your pussy.

Shivers ran up your spin at the light stimulation, his long cool fingers prodding at your entrance trying to gauge your reactions to every touch. He loved seeing how certain touches made you gasp while others made you squirm.

"My dear your body is just so erotic" he teased moving his fingers to circle your clit applying light pressure as you whimpered wanting more. "Please Lilia just fuck me" small huffs left your lips with the demand, he smirked head moving in between your legs diving right into your cunt like a starved man.

You let out a small squeal to his action, "I guess I'll give you what you want since your such a whore" his face showed he was irritated but not angry. "Just relax and I'll take you to the pleasure hell, You'll be so overstimulated by the end you won't even remember your name". His words make your face flush as he pushes your legs farther apart smirking with how your inner thighs glinted from all your arousal.

His head diving back into your cunt lapping at all your juices. "Lilia more- want more" moans and pleas for more fell on deaf ears as he slowled down going so agonizing slow it made tears form in your eyes.

Lilia loved the way you pussy clenched around his tongue but he also wanted to see you lose all sense of yourself just from his tongue. "Lilia please" mewls of pleasure escaped your lips as his tongue made you loose all sense of yourself.

"Oh how I love the sounds you make my dear" his voice muffled between your things continuing his attack on your pussy. Lips moving to suck on your clit sending a jolt of new pleasure up your spine as your hands found their way to his hair pushing him further into your pussy.

"My my such a needy slut" he mused pulling away to see his work before immediately going back to pleasuring you. "Fuck- Lilia" your voice grew louder as he slipped a finger into your cunt while he continued to suck your oversensitive clit.

His finger pumped in and out with ease making him smirk deciding to add another finger stretching you little by little. "Lilia- I'm gonna cum" your voice was shaky as you felt your orgasm approaching quickly only for it to be ripped away at the last second.

"Oh no you don't" as soon as lilia felt your cunt start to clench harder he pulled away leaving you hot and bothered. "Lilia you're so mean" you whined as he pulled you closer by your ankle until you where straddling his hips.

"I want you to come on my cock and feel the pleasure of me filling this little cunt" his breathe was hot on your neck as he whispered dirty promises exciting you more. The thought of him filing your cunt made you want him even more, "please lilia please fill my needy cunt" his heart was beating faster excited to see you so needy and begging for his cock.

"Your wish is my command dear" he purred finally releasing his cock from its confinements. Your jaw gaped at the sheer size of it, how on earth does he intend to fit that in you.

"My dear your staring" his voice brings you back to your senses "first thought let's get rid of this last restriction" hands moving to unclapse your bra tits bouncing lightly as the cool air hit your nipples sending a shiver down your spine.

"Now that that's gone let's have some fun", lilia lines himself with your cunt tip teasing your entrance as it collects arousal as lube. He gives his cock a few strokes before, you feel the tip push it's way inside finally giving you what you wanted, "Oh lilia" your voice going up an octave as he thrusted into you setting a fast pace as your tits bounced with every rock of his hips.

"Who know you where such a needy bitch? Did you come crying to me knowing I would stuff this pretty pussy huh?" His words had you clenching down on him harder as he moved his hand to start choking you. The feeling of his hands restricting your air flow had you light headed and eager for more.

"Please lilia please" your pleas sounded like music to his ears, "please what slut?" his hand tighted around your throat as he asked the question. "Please fill me with your cum" you breathed out on the verge of passing out from pleasure.

"I guess I can since your such a needy slut" his hips began rocking harder reaching deeper inside your cunt. "I'm gonna- cum" your cunt clenched hard as you came, gasping for air.

"Fuck- if you squeeze me like that how can I not resist cumming in your pussy" his hands moved to your hips holding you tight as his thrusts became sloppy and his cock began to twitch. "Now be a good girl and take it" his hips came flush against your ass pushing himself into the deepest part of your cunt before finally cumming painting your insides white.

"Ohh lilia" moans fell from your lips as his grip on your hips was bruising and he began to thrust again. "You didn't think we were finished did you?" The sound of skin against skin drowned out your moans as he started abusing your pussy again, "lilia slow down I'm still sensitive" your pleas fell on death ears as he instead started thrusting faster and harder hitting your g-spot sending you into euphoric pleasure.

"Cumming- I'm gonna cum again" your screams of pleasure filling the room as you clench hard squirting on Lilia's cock, face twisting in pleasurable pain. "Oh fuck love you just squirted on me... do it again" grabbing your legs folding you into a mating press cock kissing your cervix sending wave after wave a pleasure down your spine.

"Fuck love your squeezing me tighter, you like being fucked rough huh?" Moans replaced your words as your tounge lolled out out of breathe from the constant rocking of his hips. "Still sensitive- oh fuck~" words being brought to whimpers as lilia's cock felt like it was getting bigger if that was even possible almost entering your womb.

"Fuck darling I'm gonna cum, take it all like a good girl" his hips snapped to meet yours as his body became flush with yours dumping his seed into your womb. You could feel him painting your insides white, trying to catch your breathe he brought his hand up to your face caressing your cheek.

"You did wonderful my dear" he whispered into your ear before kissing your cheek and pulling out slowly. He watched as his seed spilled out of you loving the sight and how much control he had over you just because of a little heartbreak.

"I'm going to grab a towel and run you a bath just try to relax dear" he hummed leaving you alone with your thoughts. Your not sure if fucking Lilia just because you where mad at Azul was the best decision but you didn't really care much.

As you were about to think things over again Lilia came in with water and a towel, "just lay down and let me clean you up" his smile made your heart melt. Yeah you definitely made the right choice picking him over Azul.

This Definitely won't come back and hurt you later.

#smut #twisted wonderland #anime #lilia vanrouge #twst malleus #twisted wonderland azul #twst diasomnia #azul ashengrotto #octovinelle

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

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Thanks for opening the inbox again, and a huge thank you for being such an awesome source of information and a great person!

Tw emotional stuff, hints of physical(?), drugs and alcohol, and general uncomfortableness

So about a month ago I was able to finally escape my adoptive parents (emotionally and psychologically abusive, neglectful, physically abusive in the way that they overworked me and I developed health problems because of it, and my adoptive mother pretty much ran a cult (hits almost all the points in the BITE model) ). I ended up going to my aunts in a very far away city, and she made herself sound like a really awesome and good person.

But she is... I wont say she is a bad person because that sounds mean and she is letting me stay at her house rent free, but she is... not great.

Firstly, she drinks, and she drinks quite a bit. She'll go outside and drink some bottles if wine and then some beer and get drunk, and like she isnt the worst drunk?? But she likes to drive people around when she is drunk and can be quite uncomfortable. She also smokes a lot of weed and keeps many many large jars of weed in the house, and will get high at random times and still drive people around high and do stuff like that.

She can be okay when she is high, but she is also high or drunk a lot of the time, and has nearly gotten into car crashes because of it (just within my time of being here that has happened multiple times).

When she isnt high or drunk she can get mad at odd things? She hasnt gotten so mad that she attacks (verbally or physically) but shes done that before in the past. Recently one of the things she's been mad at is my cousin and I spending time together, because of a mix of transphobic, queerphobic, sexist and general projection of past people believes that we will get together into a relationship. BUT I (the older one) would be the victim and the target because I'm the poor little orphan child who has gone through a lot in foster care and everything (but she is part of my adoptive mother's cult and loves her and believes everything she says).

She is super super disrespectful and downright inappropriate with my cousin,and us slowly becoming similar to me? In a way at least. She treats me like a stray dog she took in and doesnt really like what I do too much?? She goes to other people and sometimes cries about what I told her because it was "so terribly sad" even though shes put her own kids and grandkids in similar positions? She also shares my personal information to anyone she wants, including the fact that I'm trans.

She has been getting progressively more mad at my cousin and I (for context, my cousin is also on the run from their horrible parentals and dont have a 100% safe place to be, but their current guardians are better than the last) and it's been really really really uncomfortable. She has used manipulation tactics to get what she wants and has triggered our ptsd big time and then calls us weird, creepy, uncomfortable, and immature for reacting that way.

She also has had talks about how weird it is that I have trauma and absolutely refuses the idea my cousin has been traumatized.

Idk what to do because I really need to move out but I'm not ready to move out (just escaped from a cult and trying to adjust to the world without much of a support system because I wasnt allowed to know many people growing up). My cousin really needs a place to stay but with the whole rumors that my aunt is spreading if they came to live with me things would get worse (they are already seemingly getting worse).

I've also been trying to get a list of places to spend time outside of the house so I can get away from my aunt, but that can only last so long and I dont have anywhere I could go overnight (until my cousin's place is free again, but just like them coming here their guardians can get odd).

Do you have any advice or opinions or pointers or anything youcould offer?? I could deeply appreciate any insight from you.

I've uh, sent a few things in to you before and you've been a big help for insight then. I super appreciatethose times of help, thank you for doing what you do.

I'm so happy you got away, that could not have been easy. It's so fucked up they managed to ruin your health beforehand, I've been affected like that too and I despise it.

I had to look up what BITE model is, and it's Behavioural, Information, Thought and Emotional control, extremely cult oriented, and dedicated to keeping a human being completely controlled. It looks terrifying, here's a link to an explanation for anyone else interested.

I'm glad you're at your aunt's place, this sounds horrific. It's okay to complain about your life conditions anytime, even if you don't pay rent, even if you feel like you owe gratitude. It's important to be able to acknowledge when something bothers us, and isn't in line with how we want to live our life, and you're supposed to do it, at all times.

I'm responding to this as I read, because it's so long, and okay the first complaint is big – I don't think anyone abused would feel safe living with a person who drinks a lot. It's unstable, unpredictable, non-reliable, non-consistent person around you, and you do have to always be on your toes, worrying about what will happen next, because drunk people are not at their most responsible – and driving while drunk is dangerous, I'd be upset as well. It would be much safer and more stable to be in the company and under care of people who are sober, reliable, responsible, consistent, emotionally available to you, and this is not the case, and it has to be stressful, and filling you with anxiety.

Almost car-crashes are terrifying! That's human lives being treated as play.

Mad when sober is even worse, that would freak me out so much, I can't imagine how it is for you. Especially if she's attacked you in the past, it can feel like you have to pretend everything is okay on the surface, but in reality, you're just waiting for the moment when you'll inevitably be attacked. This limbo of not-knowing and always expecting it can be just as bad as abuse, I remember hating it even more. I don't know if you do feel like this, but I'm picking up from the circumstances that it's possibly a concern.

Kinda stunned that you're being judged for the possibility of getting into a relationship with a COUSIN, people will just say anything? I'm so sorry, you do not deserve that kind of phobic projections on you, you should be free to spend time with whoever you please, without anyone getting mad. It sounds like the projections are wild and completely misplaced.

Being disrespectful and innapropriate with your cousin also crosses a line, nobody would choose to live with a person who disrespects their loved ones, and it's becoming clear you're stuck there, and stuck tolerating this. Also pretending to be your saviour but then crying to other people how difficult it is to hear about your pain – that's a violation of trust. Who would want to tell someone about abuse, only for that person to go spread it around with their own narrative of how it burdens them? Sharing your personal information and your trans status is also invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, that's awful anon.

I hope your cousin and you are a support to each other, and can offer some solace and emotional peace to each other, because it sounds like the world is not treating you with love you deserve.

What the aunt is doing to you is not okay, manipulating a person sick with ptsd is absolutely disgusting, lowest trash behaviour. Victim shaming and blaming them, also, garbage and trash behaviour, gross. Nobody should ever be doing that to you, for as long as you're alive.

I understand you can't immediately go and need some time to gather yourself, to make sense of your situation, and to find some stability within, and that's normal and okay. I wish you'd be treated better, because this toxic treatment can make the trauma worse, or prolong it and normalize it since you still have to suffer abuse, but you're progressing, you're moving forward, and even if it takes time to move, it's okay. I believe in you, and I know you'll go to a place that is safe and fills you with security and warmth.

It's smart to spend time outside! I often did that too when with abusers. It is sad that outside can be draining and doesn't work long term.

I wish I could give you an advice, but all I really can is acknowledge that your situation is bad, that you've done everything right, and that you're right to be disappointed and upset at how badly you're still being treated. Based on where you came from, this might seem like something small, easy to overlook, but it does stir emotions in you and you're able to register it as wrong. That's a great progress to make!

You've escaped from worse than this, and I believe you'll do whatever recovery you can under these conditions, and then when you find a way, get even safer, get a place that makes you feel protected. I wish you the best of luck, if anyone has any other piece of advice for anon, please share it.

#cult abuse #ask #alcoholic caretaker #abusive caretaker #abusive family members #toxic environment #anxiety-filling environment #recovering from abuse #escaping abuse

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btsrmono · 4 years

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Trial & Error | chapter 7

Main Pairing: (jimin): student/idol x (main): foreign student

Side Pairs: main x taehyung,, main x (nct) jaehyun

PART 6

"What it is?" Jimin asked, making you look up from your pizza to him.

You sighed, leaning back on the couch sofa in your living room. You guys sat at the coffee table as you enjoyed each others company and forgot about everything you were both were stressed about for a while... Until he bought that up, at least.

"What is what?" you acted stupid.

"Y/n... Earlier. You were clearly crying in class today. What happened?" He bought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, looking at you concerningly.

You put your pizza down and breathed out, defeated. "I saw Taehyung today," you started. "And he just seemed... Not hisself."

"Yeah, he hasn't been lately," he agreed. "I think he's just upset that the fans are upset. Like, he doesn't want them to feel that way about him, you know? Just give it some time."

"But he told me not to talk to him anymore," you said.

"So what--"

"He seemed serious, Jimin."

He clenched his jaw before poking the inside of his right cheek with his tongue. "Forget him then--"

"No, Jimin, I'm not just going to just ‘forget him’. Tae is my best friend, he's all I had. I don't want him mad at me."

He sucked his teeth, seemingly getting mad. "So I guess I don't exist," he humped.

You cocked your right eyebrow in confusion. "Ummm say ‘sike’ because you and I didn't even start officially becoming friends up until about a week ago."

"But I'm here, right?"

"Yeah and I said he's all that I had, not have. Obviously, I have you right now but not too long ago, it was just him."

Suddenly, he looked sorry. "Oh," he said. "You're right. I'm sorry..."

You shook your head after staring for quite some time. "No, Jimin... Don't be sorry." You rested your hand on his knee, reassuringly.

"I just want things to go back to normal," he whispered.

"Isn't your school almost done with the reconstruction?" you asked, placing your hand back in your crossed lap. "Maybe then, things will change."

He shrugged. "They don't seem like they're getting done anytime soon, to be honest."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks."

He smiled shyly at you. "No, actually, it's okay. I kinda like having class with you now," he said, winking.

"Jimin, are you flirting?" you teased.

"Maybe," he replied, biting his lip in a seductive manner and looking you up and down.

You rolled your eyes, picking a pillow up and throwing it at his face. He instantly picked the pillow back up whilst laughing and gently tossed it back in your lap. You guys silently collected your fits of laughter together before Jimin turned to you again. "Hey, you still owe me ice cream."

"Ugh," you grunted. "Fine, let's go."

He smiled, jumping up quickly to go put on his shoes. You followed in his footsteps and both left the apartment, walking to the nearest ice cream parlor.

"Do you do this often?" Jimin spoke up in the midst of your journey.

"Do what?" you wondered.

"Walk alone at night like this."

"I'm not alone," you scoffed.

"Y/n, you know what I mean."

You shrugged your shoulders. "Sometimes. Why?"

He started to look at the ground as you two continued to walk. "It's just... You need to be more safe, okay?" You looked over at him, making him look back at you. "You're a pretty girl," he started. "And people can be crazy. Just start taking taxis everywhere. Got it?" He took his hand out of his pocket and roughly slapped his hand on your back right shoulder.

"Yah!" you yelled out. It was obviously just a playful hit that you doubt was meant to actually hurt but clearly Jimin just didn't know his power. "The only crazy person is you, you psychopath, who goes out to get ice cream while its cold outside?" you complained, rubbing your back shoulder in the spot where you could still feel some lingering pain.

On your left, Jimin was just cracking up. You scowled at him, still lowkey upset about the hit but quickly getting over it as you both, unnoticeably, arrived at the parlor. "Aww, poor y/n," he joked, as he rubbed the spot for you.

You pushed him off of you just before entering the store as Jimin followed, still laughing.

"What do you want?" you asked.

"What do you want?" he asked back.

"Mint chocolate chip."

He scanned the menu. "Melon," he decided.

You shook your head, then paid for your order as Jimin found you guys a table to sit at. After handing him his bowl and sitting down across from him, you started to worry about something. "I figure this is a bad idea."

Jimin tilted his head, picking his spoon up. "How so?"

"It's just... Last time I was out with Tae--"

"Oh please," he quickly cut you off. "Look around, there's no one here. You don't have to be paranoid, y/n." He started eating his ice cream, clearly not bothered at all. You, however, were still scared.

"I just don't want to bring you boys trouble, I've done enough already."

His shoulders slugged and you could tell that you were sucking the joy out of his pep. You hated to be the person to do that, you did.

A few pauses later, Jimin put his spoon down and reached across the table for yours. He scooped up some ice cream and put it in front of your mouth. "Open up," he said.

You looked around, aware that the worker at the register was carefully watching the both of you. She was sitting, seeing what was about to happen next and Jimin saw this. "I dont care if they see," he said. “We're friends. Am I not allowed to hang out with you?"

Not wanting to argue back, you simply complied, opening your mouth as asked. You ate the scoop and looked at him. "Happy?"

He smiled. "It's good right? Now eat up, don't worry too much." He went back to his own bowl and began to make small talk.

You started to remember what it was like the first time Jimin and you actually had your first real conversation. You realized it was just easy to talk to him about things. He was real but non-judgmental with you. He just wants the best for everyone and you found that to be so nice of him. He truly had a way with making you feel better about every situation and making you forget about things in the time being.

After a little while, you and Jimin walked back to your place, stopping in front of the main entrance. You saw your mom in the lobby, waiting for the elevator, making you turn to Jimin. "It looks like my parents are home," you spoke. "Guess that's your cue to go too."

Jimin looked through the lobby, his eyes slightly widening. "That's your mom?" he questioned. You nodded your head. "She's beautiful! I see where you get your looks from."

You playfully rolled your eyes as you laughed, placing your hand on his chest to slightly shove him. "Please, Jimin." You noted that this was his second time complementing your looks that night and not going to lie, you were flattered.

He laughed too. "Alright give me a hug," he said, pulling you in before you even got the chance. You hugged him back tightly, grateful for him taking your mind off things for a while.

"I'll see you later," you spoke, looking up at him. He looked down and shook his head in agreement before you both let go and he took off.

You and Jimin had been hanging out a little less than usual due to him and the boys having multiple dance practices, meaning he would not only rarely show up to school but you rarley even talked or texted with him. Of course he tried to keep up with you when he could which was better than nothing, you guess. You just kind of missed him.

"Psstt," you heard from behind you.

You turned around to find Kayla, another internatial student like yourself. "Hey," you said, smiling at her. "What's up?"

"I'm freaking out," she replied. "I didn't do my homework last night, I was too busy. Before class starts, can I pleasssee copy yours?"

You shook your head, not minding as you grabbed your homework from your backpack and handed it to her. "You're a life saver!" she exhaled. She quickly copied your homework and within about two minutes, it was back in your hand. "Thank you so much!"

"No problem," you replied, ready to turn back around before she cut you off.

"Wait," she said. "Is it true, about you and Taehyung?"

You sighed, not aware that that was still a thing. "People are still on that?" you asked, semi annoyed. It had almost been two weeks, you thought it was behind you.

She scoffed. "Of course they are girl, you snatched up two of the most wanted guys in this school.” She paused, thinking. “ Well, besides Jungkook and Jaehyun."

You were confused, what did she mean? "Two?"

"Jimin and Taehyung," she responded in a ‘Duh’ tone.

You stared at her for a quick second. "Well to answer your question, no. How bout' you spread that around the next time you decide to gossip?" you snapped. You don't know what it was but you were over it. This rumor ruined your friendship with Taehyung and you were sick of it following you around.

"Jesus, well excuse me," she said, putting her hands up in surrender. "It's not like it was me that started it."

"Well you're sure as hell not helping, no?"

"Attitude much?"

You sighed. She was right. Normally, Kayla was really nice to you so although she was being annoying at the moment, you still couldn't help but feel bad for the way you spoke to her. "I'm sorry," you apologized. "I've just been really stressed."

Her face softened. "Yeah, you look it," she joked, a small grin appearing on her face. "Hey, if you're not busy after school, me and Heejin are gonna go grab some boba if you want to join us?"

You thought it over. Having some girl company didn't sound too bad, it actually sounded like just the perfect plan to you at the time. It wasn't anything significant but given the fact that you only was hanging out with guys for most part, this seemed overdue.

"That actually sounds really nice right about now."

She shook her head. "Okay then, we'll just be waiting for you at the bus stop after school."

Just then, your math teacher walked in and you all started our work.

After a long day of 7 classes, you and the girls did end up hanging out. Kayla ordered matcha boba, Heejin ordered strawberry and you ordered coconut. The three of you got a table and sat down, discussing random things such as school and who they liked.

“Taeyong is definitely the most handsome boy in our school,” Kayla stated.

“Really?” you chimed in. “He is super attractive but he’s too mysterious.”

Kayla threw her head back in admiration. “That’s what makes him hot, y/n!” she cried, making you giggle.

"Well, I hands down like Jungkook," Heejin said. "No doubt about it, he is my ultimate crush." She was swooning over him and got dramatically emotional at just the thought of him. "Ugh! My heart is beating so fast even thinking about him, I think I'm going to die!" she then plopped her head on the table as you and Kayla laughed at her silliness. "It's depressing," she said said in a muffled voice, her face still on the cold surface.

"You'll survive," you responded.

She lifted her head back up, looking at you curiously. "Wait, aren't you friends with Jungkook?"

You scoffed, looking around to make sure no one at the surrounding booths heard that. "No," you responded. "I hardly know him."

"Oh, I just assumed because you and Taeh--"

Heejin was interrupted by Kayla shoving her quickly as a means to get her to stop talking. Kayla cleared her throat. "So, y/n," she started, changing the subject. "Heejin and I were thinking about starting this club--a dance club and we were wondering if you would be willing to join?"

Heejin gave her a look, scrunching her eyebrows together, as did you, wondering where this was coming from. "Me?" you asked. "Why me of all people?"

"Because," Kayla started. "I see how you are in class, you're a team player. I already know you would do well on our team. Plus, you just look like you can dance," she chuckled.

Her explanation wasn't good enough and you were still confused. Heejin still looked confused too but she seemed to not want to bud into it.

"What do you say?"

You started to stutter. "I-I-I.... I, um... I'm not sure," you said. "Dancing isn't really my thing..." She suddenly started to look disappointed, which made you feel a little bad. "But I'll let you know," you added, wanting to give her a glimpse of hope.

She smiled again, shaking her head. A few minutes later, you then dismissed yourself and said your goodbyes before you headed out the cafe door to go home.

A/N: Surprise! Heejin is in this. She’ll be around a little more often now hehe okay stay tuned to see what happens next! <33

PART 8

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evswiftie · 7 years

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Full breakdown on how I relate look what you made me do to all the past times I've been sexually assaulted

" I don't like your little games" -When I was 11 and swimming in the public pool at the YMCA and this 30 year old man asked if he could play with me in the pool and pick me up and throw me in the water but he "had to touch me here first (he digitally raped me) ( I didnt even know what a Vagina is or does as that age) -When I was 12 and my dads best friend who lived in my house would tell my parents he would watch after me when they went out but instead forcibly touched me and made me touch him. And he would bang on my bedroom door when I was pressing up against it shut because it didn't have a lock, he would offer me to play outside with him on my trampoline just so he could be on top of me and suck in my nipples again but I screamed to leave me alone. When the guy in sophomore year of high school who I had my first real big crush on told me I could trust him so I told him all about my life and he was my first kiss but then right after, he threw me on the ground grabbed my hand and made me give him a hand job and then went around school taunting me by mocking me with my secrets I told him and told people I was a slut. And he call me during the middle of the night threatening that if I didn't send him nudes he would make worse rumors and spread them around. When the 20 year old guy who took my virginity from me raped me when I was 16 tried to email me, text me and follow me on Instagram as if time passing had changed everything. BITCH DONT TALK TO ME. When the guy who molested me outside of a bar gave me the excuse the next day that he was to drunk to know what he was doing even though I saw him get in his car and drive away and text me that night he made it home safe. IF YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO NOT SEXUALLY MOLEST SOMEONE WHO IS TO INTOXICATED TO STAND STRAIGHT. " I don't like your tilted stage " AKA an uneven playing field. When the guy who "had to" digitally rape me in the YMCA swimming pool knew i was to young to know what was happening to me and I was easy to listen to adults so he told me not tell anyone so I stayed quiet about it until I was 17. -When the guy who was my dads best friend knew I was a caring kid and wouldnt tell anyone so my dad wouldn't loose a friend so he took advantage of me. And when I finally told my dad and he made his friend come to the house to confront him DUDE WAS SPEAKING 100% Spanish so I couldnt know what he was saying against me. -When the guy I trusted in high school majorly taunted me outside school and was so sneaky about how he did on school grounds so he wouldnt get in trouble -When the guy who raped me at age 16 asked me if i was ready and I said "I dont know, I think I am" but he was controlling and forceful and went on top of me and I hated it and was to scared to run away or tell him to get off me. -When the guy who molested me outside the bar did it where no one could see and theres not cameras so there was no proof and he apologized the next day. "The role you made me play, of the fool, no I dont like you" All of these people made me play the delusional crazy girl whose making shit up for attention " i don't like your perfect crime, How you laugh when you lie -When I was tired of staying silent for ten years so I finally decided to report something horrible happening to me , at the age of 22 sobbing in the car feeling worthless and like nothing but a sex toy, like my feelings dont matter because all Ill ever be is my body and nothing more, I picked up the phone and called the police, they told me that because I was talking to the guy in the bar before him molesting me he probably thought I wanted it so they told me I should accept his apology. They told me that because I cant remember because I was to intoxicated to remember clearly if he forcibly grabbed my hand and put it down his pants or if I put my hands down there it doesn't even count as sexual assault. Even tho I KNO I was screaming to get out. "You said the gun was mine, isn't cool, no, I don't like you"(oh!) They always tell you to report things but then when you do they dont do anything to help "But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time, Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time" -After being denied of reporting my most recent sexual assault I was in hysterics sobbing in my car realizing that anyone can do anything they want to me and feel like such a low life and absolutely nothing and get away with it. Snot and tears were everywhere and I was messaging my friends saying I cant live like this anymore, whats the point? When Im just going to be tossed from guy to guy simply for their pleasure while they take my dignity from me, when all I get is cat called and harassed and pressured to give myself to them I lifted my head up and realize that if 22 year old erica can't get justice then 11year -16 year old Erica can, NO MATTER what those abusers say to deny it or beat around the bush they WILL go fucking down because I was a MINOR. And theyre not getting out of it with that crime "I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined" -after realizing im gonna come for blood I picked up the phone and called up the police dept and said I'm reporting a sexual assault from 10 years ago and this was at midnight when the police showed up at my house to get a written statement and proceeded to list off every other time I was sexually assaulted . To which the officer accused me of "cop shopping" BITCH YEA. Because I didn't get what I wanted from the first one. BITCH YOU RIGHT IM GONNA KEEP REPORTING IT UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS. "I check it once, then I check it twice, oh" -Did they really sexually assault me if I didnt scream "no" and "rape" and push and shove my way out ? Yes okay ! Just gotta double check I know what happened to me before others tell me over exaggerating! "Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me do" -the next morning after listing off these names to the rude police officer I slept until noon, got up in my grown up boss ass outfit, got in my red buggy and zoomed to the YMCA with my sunglasses feeling like a bad ass scene from a movie, I catwalked into the YMCA to the chorus of LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO and I said I need to see a manager and report an incident then that manager came over and I told her everything that happened in that public pool to me and she was dumb founded because they have a "no tolerance policy" "I don't like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me, you asked me for a place, locked me out then threw a feast (WHAT?!)" -Every single one of these manipulating sexual abusers have affected me in so many ways for the rest of my life. I went to couseling in high school and my recent new Doctor , those two told me that a lot of how I act, talk and think has to do with the after affects and symptoms of being sexually abused and that a portion in my FUCKING BRAIN paused on developing and has a fog over it and cant pay attention to things and I am easily forgetful and space out way more often than the normal person. I DONT LIKE HOW THESE SICK FUCKS HAVE THE KEYS TO THE PERSON I AM TODAY. I don't like that the like psychos who molested me when I was a pre teen took something from me I never had,finding myself at such a crucial age and my confidence I had as a kid. "The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama." While I've been in the deep state of depression and feeling empty I stand there and notice how everyone else lives goes on and theyre happy mean while Im dead on the inside "But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma" -But while Im standing there feeling like everyone can just pretend like it never happened to me even when I told them , I cant help but think of the the sexual abusers getting put in jail or getting their lives taken away from them because they deserve that. "And then the world moves on, but one things for sure Maybe I got mine, but you all get yours" -Maybe for now my karma for trying to go out for fun was to be molested by a boy ll be punished for what you did. " I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me be the actress starring in your bad dreams I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me" -when the boy in high school spread all these awful rumors about me and showed the nudes I sent him (because he threatened me) to his classes, I lost friends at school , no one wanted to talk to me and in return I was left being fearful for the rest of my life that anyone could leave me at any moment. .. " I don't trust nobody" -I turned to all the people whose ever told me " I'll be there for you if you ever need anything "but when that something i need is to tell someone about how I was sexually assaulted they tell everything except things that will actually lift my soul up and make me feel better but no one cares enough to actually check up on me after hearing a horrible traumatic thing happening to me because I don't have the energy to come to people myself every day and come forward on how low I feel. I had people tell me to "just go home" when I'd call them up sobbing in my car and ask them if I could come over for them to comfort me. I've had people literally leave me because I confronted them about only sending me a sad face or "I'm sorry" and nothing more. LIKE. MAYBE SEND ME THE CLEAN SOEECH IDK. I'm desperate to hear some words of encouragement but no people HATE confrontation So much they'll just leave me instead of owning up and offering me anything more then a sad face through a text and their sympathy. "I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams" -Im coming for revenge , I'm gonna make you pay for what you did to me so I'll be in your nightmares "I'm sorry the old Erica can't come to the phone right now, why? OH , cuz she's dead" It's been months since I was sexually assaulted last and the scared old fragile me is dead and I'm becoming this new fierce woman who protects myself. I have two open sexual assault cases open right now and I'm looking for mental health help and okay, I'm overly distracted , it's like there's this fog over my mind and I can't see or think clearly and it's affecting my every day life, I can't do well at work and when I'm in a normal conversation , and cry myself to sleep when I feel worthless. But I've found time can heal most anything. P.s Taylor I admire you so much for defending yourself during your sexual assault trial, I heard you got sassy.. I would have to... it's pretty annoying when you have to relive the incident numerous amount of times and people don't believe you so you have to say it over and over again until you just start to cry because you just want justice. My parents didn't report to the police about the guy who was my dads best friend touching me when I was 12 because they knew all the interviews and questions I would be asked and they didn't want me to relive it m, I was 12 and scared..... 10 years later I got the guts to do but only because i can't live like his anymore unneeded something to matter so i went for justice, I had a interview for a detective and police man in an office in the police station, it was video recorded and everything, they asked me about every little detail of all the 4 times he molested me, it was awful and I cried so much during the whole thing I told them how he took something away from me I never really had as a 12 year old.. my confidence and finding who I am. And saying that out loud made me cry even more but I felt like it was necessary to say so they could believe me and see how much he hurt me. They said it's going to take a long to time to be able to find the him and when they do I need to be prepared for him to deny it and if so we might go to court. I Do NOT have the money for that at all but taylor, I heard you are donating to foundations that help girls defend themselves and I might have to use that and in SO BEYOND THANKFUL. For those foundations and for you helping out. They thanked me for my time and as the detective walked me out to the the main door she said " maybe you'll be able to inspire other girls and let them know it's never to late to report it" and in that moment I felt so inspired... now I feel SO passionate about being a mental health advocate, I have my AA degree so I'll be going back to college and get my psychology degree. I'm gonna kick ass. P.s.s I'm sorry if this post triggered anyone with anything I talked about but I really wanted to let taylor know how I relate to her music P.s.s Taylor i am SO sorry for what you had to go through being sexually assaulted, it really does turn a light off on your personality and I wish I could just take all your pain away, you have been there for me through EVERYTHING and I just want to be there for you and hold your hands through every step . @taylorswift

#reputation #taylorswift #look what you made me do

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inkedberries · 7 years

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hey, uh, sorry for disturbing you. i'm a fan of your art! i really admire it! i have something to ask... Apparently, I've had enough of one of my classmate's (the president on top of that) attitude. then he said something hurtful but meant for a joke and i took it the wrong way and misunderstood. I told him off that his attitude was the worst and stuff. then later on, he kept rambling about how he was appointed as the leader and the like. wifi was slow so i had to quit/leave -to be continued-

-pt2- before i left, one of my classmates said ‘jokingly’ that they hope i dont need to go back to my hometown which extremely offended me. after i left and the next day, i found out that most of my classmates are talking behind my back and that the ones i helped betrayed me. one of them even butted in without knowing anything and said it was a petty fight. and now they (especially the president) accused me for cheating (which i didn’t) even though they are the ones that did it.-tb continued-

-pt3- and being an honor student, accused for cheating was extremely offending. not to mention the president was desperate to surpass me, and now he surpassed me through cheating. i kept quiet about it. it started thursday and i found out at friday (when i was going home after my competition). now im waiting for monday to see all of them. I’m preparing myself for whatever rumours and insults i hear from now on.

-pt4- i’m sorry i just wanted to let this all out and i needed advice. was i truly wrong for telling him off? i felt like i had to since one time my closest friend told me that their teacher left a seatwork for them to work and they worked by groups. my friend’s group was noisy so the president yelled at them and said bad words. then the president’s group became noisy and the group of my closest friend couldn’t do anything about it. you dont have to answer this tho you can delete it

first off, i would like to thank you for sharing and for coming to me for advice but i would just like to warn you right now i don’t really know much about the situation or what happened to give very sound advice so maybe take whatever it is i’m going to say with a grain of salt but i hope this could help

well i guess the bottom line is how you feel about what you did??? like how did you honestly feel???

if there’s that feeling of regret for telling him off or the thought “i could’ve said it better” maybe you should apologize for what you did despite all those horrible things he did to you. i would like to point out that you’re apologizing so you could have peace of mind so this doesn’t bother you anymore because now you know you’ve done your part. you acknowledged what you did and acted on it. if he doesn’t acknowledge your apology and continues being a jerk then that’s all on him. you did what you had to do.

but if you feel satisfied for telling him off then own it. if you know for yourself that he needs to be told that he needs a major attitude change then don’t let whatever it is he’s trying to do affect you. rub it in his face of how much of an ass he’s being by just letting it all roll of your shoulders because why would you even need to explain yourself when you know you did nothing wrong?

this is by no means me telling you to keep quiet and to tolerate all the horrible things they’re doing to you. if you’re hurting by what they’re doing defend yourself. because keeping quiet makes them think that you’re an easy target and they can get away with anything. when they accuse you of cheating demand for proof. when they start spreading rumors prove them wrong with your actions (i mean it feels really good when we prove someone wrong right?? lol). don’t let it slide. but when you fight back don’t get on his level. you’re smarter than that i know it

but again, what do i know right?? hahaha well, i hope this helped even just a little bit and i hope your burden eases up some with whatever you choose to do from here on out. and i want you to know that they only spread lies because that’s all they can do. you’re a good person i mean they wouldn’t be spreading lies otherwise.

#anonymous #bean talks #i am so sorry if this didn't help you at all my dude #if any of you have any more advice for anon please feel free to share them!!

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