#idk how to go about linking the audio here so if you want it just send me an ask

[ansleof]

more gay squids

#splatoon #agent 12 #agent 3 #captain 3 #agent 4 #idk how to go about linking the audio here so if you want it just send me an ask #rocketdoodles

[cooki3face]

spirit baby reading 🧸

Disclaimer: I usually speak to the feminine collective when I do these so if you’re not mom and you’ll be dad switch things up so they may resonate for you. <3

I’ve literally always been so obsessed with Bey as a mother so I refuse to use anybody else for my banner. Sue me if you’re mad, otherwise have a great time, I’m gonna do these as channeled messages this time, so if you’re in a high-level soulmate or twin flame connection these could be really good to get some insight and understanding from a different perspective. When we talk about spirit babies, we’re speaking of the spirit or the souls of babies that are waiting to be born and spiritually connected to you.

Often when you’re in a soul connection or a twin flame connection, the person you’re connected with is part of your soul family and the children you’re meant to have will choose the two of you as parents are a part of your soul family as well. They love you both unconditionally, free of judgment and misunderstanding because they see everything before they come to you and forget everything about their soul's purpose and about why they chose you as a parent, and what it was like to choose you. They often play a huge role in you and their other parent getting together as well. They protect and guide your connection just as much as the divine. Hope that this is helpful if you’re in a high-level soulmate connection or a twin flame connection, love you! 🧸

pile one:

Before I begin, I just want to say someone’s child is really obsessed with the chicken dance song, idk if you remember what that was from when you were a child but here’s a link to a weird YouTube video with the audio.

“Mom, the best thing you can do right now is to relax and release your control and enjoy yourself. I know that dad is taking a long time but he’s coming to marry you and be with you very soon and you just have to be patient.” For some reason, I’m getting we you could be expecting multiples at some point soon. “We know how much you care about Dad and how patient and gentle you’ve been with him and we ask that you send him lots of love and encouragement even though you guys aren’t speaking that much.

Don’t think that he doesn’t love you or doesn’t want you just because he hasn’t said so because he does. All he wants is to be with you and to build a family with you and that time is coming. He’s closing out karmic cycles and making sure that everything is perfect before he comes towards you because he knows it’s what you deserve. We told you this when we spoke to you in your dream. Dad is making sure that he gets lots of money and gets everything ready so that you will be comfortable and well taken care of and he can buy us lots of stuff.

Please don’t become discouraged or try to forget about Daddy because it hurts that he’s away. We connect with you every day and we’ve been sending you messages through your social media so that you know we’re here waiting for you. Remember that separation and time apart are only an illusion and only exist in one realm of existence. Time to us over here goes by very quickly and you and Dad are not truly separated because you are connected spiritually and are married and in union with one another in spirit.

You and Dad are taking the time out to do the inner work and grow and that’s why you’ve been given this time apart by the universe so that everything can be perfect and ready when you guys come together because the two of you deserve nothing less than perfection. You and Daddy both are doing the inner work and have been working very hard. Continue to do things that you care about and enjoy and take care of yourself in the ways you deserve. Dad is releasing karmic energy within his life, leaving behind third-party interferences that are standing in his way because he’s no longer going to allow anything to get in his way of loving you and being with you. He’s learning to love beyond his fears and his ego and he’s learning to follow his heart every single day after a long time of living for others.

And when he comes to you, he will be completely unrecognizable and he’ll be different from who he was before, when he had a hard time and couldn’t be there for you the way you wanted him to. You’re going to be so proud of him and so happy to see him again. Let go of any self-doubt Mom or any negative ideas about if Dad loves you or if he’s coming. I know you know he is so hold onto what your heart and your spirit are telling you and just relax. Everything is going to be okay.

Dad needs you to release the past and fully let go of past versions of your connection and even let go of the present because it is not a full representation of what he feels for you. After all, he’s not where he truly wants to be right now which is right by your side. There was a lot of hardship that the two of you went through but even you feel in your heart that it was ages ago and we know that you love him and we know that you love him because you can forgive him and show him so much grace even the second he makes a mistake. Cycles are coming to a close. Your time is coming. Please, just rest. “

channeled messages or things I picked up on during the reading 👣:

multiples or a set of twins to be specific (a boy and a girl)

“Take me out to the ballgame” one of these children may really like baseball or grow to like baseball as a sport. You could have an elder family member who enjoys baseball as well.

May enjoy gardening as a hobby

Blue and green as well as purple and orange

Heavily adorned scrapbooks or photo albums

A boy or son being born first or older. He protects.

Close sibling/twin relationship. Irreplaceable to each other. Incomplete without each other. They may grow to enjoy a lot of the same hobbies, I'm getting swimming and recreational sports or arts and crafts they may share together. Not shying away from twin-ness and pride themselves in being very much alike because they respect one another so much.

Boy/son is very caring and emotionally intelligent and compassionate

The girl/daughter may be very shy in nature and very petite and take after her mother in face and stature. I'm hearing she's a diamond. People will really be fond of her beauty and adore her and people who know you or knew you may find her face very nostalgic because she looks so much like you.

I'm also getting that she's got a timeless beauty. She's someone who will grow up to be very stunning and beautiful and would've been that in every era or point in time.

I'm also getting that she may grow up to be fond of music and the arts.

She may like to dance (getting ballet) or do gymnastics.

I'm hearing whoever she marries Daddy is gonna make them pay a big fat dowry or go to the ends of the earth for her and her brother will see it through

***

pile two:

The divine masculine in your life could be tall or something or this baby may come out heavy or just be in a larger percentile for his age group. I instantly got that song Sza sang on SNL “I Need a big boy”

“Mom, things will be made right. I really don't want you and Dad to fight or have trouble but sometimes conflict is necessary because things have to fall away and come out in relationships and sometimes things go wrong for a reason and we have to be strong enough to deal with them. I know that you're sad or you're not feeling hopeful right now. And you may feel like everything is going wrong and everything is against you but that’s just not true. You have to trust in the divine and trust that things will come together and work out for you in the end.

I know that there have been delays and blockages within your and dad’s relationship and with you really getting what you truly desire. And these circumstances have given you bad dreams and made you very scared and anxious but I want you to get some rest and relax. Nothing good comes of being tired and exhausted. Take care of yourself and focus hard on what you can do to make things good around you and enjoy yourself even if things are rough with you and Dad or in other areas of your life. Remember that you and Dad are both growing and sometimes we don’t have all of the answers and don’t have the solution to everything.

The universe is trying to teach you to find wholeness and happiness within yourself right now Mom because that’s what you need the most. You may feel like you need dad or other people and things to feel happy and that’s not true. All the things you’re stressed about aren’t good for your health and aren’t all your responsibility to carry with you so you have to take some time to release your control and release all of this stress. I see what’s going on and I know that you’re unhappy and having a hard time with your current circumstances but things are always capable of getting better and these feelings and these times are temporary.

This is a good time to decide what you want to do with your time Mom or want you want to do with your life and how you want to live. Sometimes when there are blockages, separations, or dramatic changes and events in our lives that means that we need to focus on ourselves more. Dad has lots of internal wounds, karmic cycles, and blockages that he needs to work through before he can be there for you the way you need him to and so the best thing to do is to show him grace and compassion and focus on finding happiness and support within yourself. “

channelled messages or things I picked up on in the reading 👣:

TikTok, social media, or clinging to social media or using social media as a distraction or a way to cope with emotional pain

Umbrella by Rihanna “ooo baby it’s rainin’ rainin’”.

NFL babies /sports babies

“Somewhere over the rainbow” and it’s lyrics

The Wizard of Oz, the cowardly lion, or the Tin Man and their meanings

Miscarriages/infertility/struggle to conceive or complications during pregnancy, or post partum

Plays, performances, or the theater

A boy/ a son

The color blue

Sports teams/mascots

***

pile three:

“I see that you’ve been working very hard Mom, taking care of yourself and taking care of your responsibilities and taking responsibility over your life. It’s time you start thinking about what direction you’d like to take in life or what you really truly want to do so that we have a good foundation for ourselves. Sometimes I’ve seen that you’ve had a hard time focusing or a tempted to put your energy into other things. But you know that nows not the time to be distracted and it’s a lot of progress being able to be tempted and have the strength to stay focused and I’m very proud of you. I know that you’ve been feeling alone or have been alone but I want you to know that in isolation the universe brings us growth.

And that sometimes in life people have to walk away from us or we have to walk away from people and even sometimes we drift apart from our friends and loved ones. It’s a natural part of life and when doors close new doors open Mom. The universe gave you time alone so that you can establish things for yourself and really decide what you want for yourself and take initiative over the directory in which you’re going. All the times we’ve had a hard time. All the times we’ve undergone lots of change in your life, all the times there was chaos and we were confused were all for a good reason, and in life we have to learn to see the lessons in our experiences.

It’s time for you to branch out on your own mom and remove your dependence on others and other things in your life that keep you from living authentically and really growing into the beautiful woman you’re meant to be. And one day you’ll be happy and you’ll be celebrating just how far you’ve come all along. There’s so much potential for you to grow and for experiences and endless opportunities to reach you. And don’t worry about not having found Dad yet Mom because soon you will meet him and soon you’ll finally get the love and the relationship you’ve dreamed of all along, all this time. “

channelled messages or things I picked up on in the reading 👣:

This sounds like a girl or a daughter

“Alright” by Kendrick Lamar

You may choose to be a single mother or look for a donor when you’re ready to have a child

You may not know who your person is or haven’t met your divine counterpart yet or received the love or the relationship that you’ve desired for a long time

This child is going to be really attached to you and take after you in many ways. The two of you may bond over fashion or you may end up being the primary parent and main support system

This child may come at a time where you’re going through a large transition or you’re entering a stage in life where you want something new or different

This is a big girly girl. A huge fan of pink and flowers and may like to get her nails done with you.

She may come out looking a whole lot like you as a child or as a baby

This baby is going to heal your inner child by being able to live the life or have some of the experiences you would’ve wanted for yourself.

***

I hope this gave you some guidance or was something you really wanted to hear tonight 💕 If you ever need a personal reading, you may go to my Instagram and click the link in my bio to book a reading with me! Love you!

#self love #self care #self improvement #self discovery #dream girl #self expression #healingjourney #self healing #manifestation #divine feminine #divine masculine #spirit baby reading #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot #tarot readers of tiktok #tarot readers of instagram #tarot readers of tumblr

[joshusten]

bitter melon (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Honey got stood up on a date and Guy tried to save their night.

(pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, jealousy (hohohoho), slight misunderstanding, conflict between characters, making up, fluff) 4.6k+ words [ao3 link] [masterlist]

[cw/notes: insecurities, self-depreciating thoughts and a lil breakdown im sorry honey has some issues over here (projecting moment?), NOT PROOFREAD as always LMAOO 

ALSO sadly guy isnt as silly (maybe really ooc) as he is most of the fic because he has Internal Conflict + i tried to make honey’s outfit and appearance as ambiguous as possible but i’m not sure how well i did with that ;---; so just keep that in mind! Idk how to feel about this fic ! i love it and i hate it LMAO]

"Oooh, what's got you all dressed up, roomie?"

It was the weekend—Kayla had just been picked up by her boyfriend, which had Guy realizing he and his favorite roommate had the place all to themselves for a few hours. As far as he recalled, he was off from work, and they hadn’t mentioned any errands to him for today. Perfect!

Guy had a bounce in his step as he arrived by the entrance to the room at the leftmost side of their shared apartment. He rapidly knocked at the door with a giddy “Hello?”, eagerly waiting for the response that he knew would always come. 

Hm, which game should they play this time? Smash was always an option but he wouldn’t mind trying something new with them. They could even watch some random YouTube documentary again like they did last time. Or maybe he can finally muster up the courage to ask them if they want to hang out somewhere outside the apartment that isn’t for laundry or groceries. 

He smiled to himself. Yeah, I’d like that. They can go to that new arcade that opened up nearby!

Before Guy can daydream more of sharing smiles in photo booths and frustratingly rigged crane games, the door opens to reveal the subject of his reverie, clad in clothing and accessories flashier than what they would typically wear. He got a whiff of a pleasant fragrance too and he realized that they must have put on a perfume of some kind.

Woah. 

They looked…amazing. They've always looked amazing. He had thought that about his grumpy companion even before the pair got close. But, seeing them in anything other than their usual casualwear or pajamas was definitely a surprise. 

The teasing amount of skin they had exposed didn’t go unnoticed by him, as well.

His roommate, by all means, was no prude. They even had their fair share of comebacks more vulgar than his flirts when they banter (Those particular interactions definitely do not keep him up at night, blushing and wide-eyed while he stares at the ceiling. Nope. Never.) This side of them, however, was something he’d never seen before until now. This side of how they present themselves with such boldness was new and he didn’t mind it at all.

The outfit looked good on them. Too good. A seductive dark top that very much complemented the tone of their skin, unbuttoned dangerously low enough to reveal the expanse of their collarbone that was adorned by a simple necklace. 

Their shoes gave them more height too, slightly towering over Guy more than they already did before and forcing him to tilt his head up a little for their eyes to meet. The dizzying scent of their cologne paired with those pants that hugged their figure just right had his mind reeling. It was mortifying—how they had him in such a daze so easily.

Fuck. 

Guy gulped nervously.

“You going out tonight with friends o–or something?” he frantically adds, suddenly aware of how much he was probably staring amidst his very appropriate train of thought about the person before him. Admittedly, the man was a little bummed that his plans to take them out first (Platonically, of course. How else would it be?) were off the table, though his interest had been piqued by what they were up to being dressed like that.

"Oh, uhm, no. I mean, yeah? Kinda? I'm…" They looked hesitant and a little…embarrassed? Well if it's something they don't want to share then he didn’t mind. Despite how much of a menace he is (with his roommate never failing to lovingly remind him of this), Guy wouldn’t want to force anything out of them, especially if it got them so uncharacteristically timid. He tends to forget such social cues, but he actively tries to improve and avoid being so pushy.

As he was about to reassure them that it was okay to not respond, they replied with a bashfulness that was unlikely of them, “I’m…going on a date.”

 A date? With someone else? Romantically? He felt his grip on the door frame tighten, and a sharp pang shot through his heart, silencing his buzzing mind for a split second before managing to fake a curious smile.

“Oh? Who are they? Do I know them?” He liked to think he inquired them out of politeness, like a nosey friend pestering someone about their crush, but the thought of his roommate being alone with someone for the night leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He had the need to asses this person, and determine if they really were worthy of their time—of them—for reasons he isn’t really sure of, it just felt like instinct.

Guy internally cringed. What the fuck does that mean? Why the hell is he thinking like this? Protective! He’s being protective, of course. Any friend would want to protect their friend with things like these! A love life is a huge factor in someone’s happiness after all, right? So he, as a friend, can definitely be wary if someone could be a potential risk of heartbreak for their friend.

Okay, if he thinks of the word ‘friend’ one more time he might actually lose it.

He needed a cold shower. Yeah! He just needs a nice cold shower to shock his brain and stop the weirdest fucking thoughts from ever forming, especially thoughts concerning his roommate that’s currently driving him crazy in every way possible.

“Ah, no, I don’t think so. He’s from my class.” They shrugged, looking to the side awkwardly. “I dont know, he just asked me out yesterday and I figured, ‘Why not?’”

Guy hands began to twitch involuntarily as his roommate smiled at themself, oblivious to the spiral that he was having. "My friends kept on saying I should try letting loose and going out more so I guess it’s about time.” 

“Oh, uh, hope you enjoy, then.” God, he feels light-headed.

“Well, isn’t this a first. What, no witty remark? No innuendo about me finally ‘getting some’?” Guy fought the urge to grimace. Somehow those jokes would do nothing but sour his mood even more instead.

“Hey,” The man started, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Can’t I wish a friend good luck on their date?” Friend. The word felt worse and worse the more it festered in his mind. Yeah, that’s what they were. What they’ll ever be. Nothing more. 

“Pfft, whatever, man.” The smirk grew wider on their lips. They seem really excited and he shamefully thinks it might make him vomit at how eager they are for this date. He should support them, right? Guy can see how his roommate tends to keep to themself most of the time, especially when Kayla’s with them. So seeing them go out of their comfort zone should have been a relief. He should be happy for them.

Whenever Guy was with them, being happy was easy. So why was he having such a hard time now?

Their grin dropped when they glanced at their watch with widened eyes. “Oh shit, I think I need to go.”

They opened their bedroom door and lifted up their arms from the side in a way to reveal more of what they were wearing. “How do I look?” 

Yup, feeling dizzy again. Remember to breathe, Guy.

“Uh, yeah, y–you look great! Really.” Guy put on a strained smile. “Have fun, just don’t miss me too much, though. Might be unbecoming for your date.” He prays to god they don’t notice how his voice wavered at the end.

They rolled their eyes with a familiar chuckle that usually follows whenever he makes a joke, “Pfft, whatever.” 

Waving him goodbye as they rush to the exit. “Don’t wait for me when you’re gonna eat dinner, by the way. I might be home late!” One last look on their watch had them walking faster. “Okaygottacatchthebusnowbye–!”

 He heard the gentle click of the door shutting and the apartment felt lonelier than what he’s used to.

— 

Tap, tap, tap.

“In old legends, tales long forgotten, the sea is often said to be unkind. 

The sea’s temper is short, and his rage is felt through the angry swells of the water that eat sailors alive. His strength is tremendous, taking down the tallest of mountains and sinking whole countries with his surging claws. But most of all, his cruel waves do not discriminate, drowning both the wicked and the innocent altogether. He cares not for the last breath he takes from their lungs to fill with salt and water and death. 

Despite his hostility, the sea yearns for the moon. 

Whenever the moon came down to greet him like an old, treasured friend, the waters still. All is tranquil when the sky and the sea meet. The sea breeze is calm as the children play by the shore. The people were grateful, for the sea had fallen for the beauty in the sky.

But all good things never last.

The sea became selfish. He loathes the time when the moon eventually ascends to the abode of angels, their home. He loathes the loneliness that becomes of him when he can no longer feel the warmth of their glow. His loathing turns into wallowing in sorrow until he decides that he has had enough.

His calm waves suddenly grow with the intent to seize, to take, to keep the jewel of the night for himself. His desire for them to stay overflowed into his foolish actions that had done nothing but have the moon be victim to the harshness he had reserved for men.

The moon wept, and the sea received their tears. He had hurt them. He had hurt them in his act of love. They returned to the skies, burdened to carry the melancholy of a broken heart and the sea remains, afraid to cause more harm.

The moon never came down again.

His attempts to reconnect bear no fruit. A different kind of madness consumed him, wrapping around his very soul like how guilt wraps around the sinners. It’s God’s punishment, he deems, for his covetous ways. To chase for the sky but never touch the clouds, to stretch up to the heavens but never high enough. 

He had realized that they could not be attained. 

They will not come back for him.

Yet he continues to reach high above, hoping for the blessing of a god birthed by pity. To push his tides to the limit for a chance to be in the moon’s presence once more until the end of time.

It is all but a myth, ancient words that the people of the present cannot truly decipher, but all its messages share the same sentiment;

The sea is…”

“Hm.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is mysterious?”

“No, no, no…”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is prideful?”

“Ugh, that doesn’t sound right either.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“The sea is spiteful?

Vitriolic?

Rancorous?”

The living room which was once filled with the constant stream of clicking laptop keys came to an abrupt halt. I give up. This whole ‘running away from your issues’ thing really isn’t working.

That same irritating pain still persisted. It was becoming less of an annoyance and more of a discomfort, aching to the point that Guy started to rub his chest a few times in an attempt to soothe it. What is up with me today? Even after the cold shower that he was sure would solve his current predicament, the feeling of unease still lingered. 

He figured he might as well do the writing exercises that his professor had assigned a few days ago to distract himself yet it was of no help at all. In fact, it was just fueling the fire of these messy emotions that he had been feeling. His tired eyes closed, fingers circling his throbbing temples, as he racked his mind for something that would best fit the final line. I swear to god it’s at the tip of my tongue!

His mind snapped out of focus after hearing the noise of the door suddenly opening. He managed to haphazardly type a word to try out before it could escape his mind so that he could finally finish this troubling assignment that had opened more problems he had meant to solve. 

The sound of heavy footsteps reached his ears and they burned, knowing full well who had just barged in. Speak of the devil. His roommate finally returned along with the sinking feeling in his ribs. They had gotten back from their date. Guy made sure to put on his most convincing smile. 

“Hey, roomie! Back already? How was it?”

“Uh, yeah, hi.” They didn’t bother to look at him, ignoring his eager questions while they hastily set down the small bag they brought. Guy sees them navigate through the kitchen to fill up a glass of water and hungrily gulp it down. “I-is Kayla here?”

He frowned, shifting his body to face where they were in the kitchen. “Uh, no. She texted me that she was staying over with her boyfriend. Why?”

“Thank god.” 

“Yeah, I know right? So, uh, how’s the date?”

No response came again, His roommate was seemingly distracted by whatever they were scrolling through on their phone but it was clear that they were purposely ignoring him.

“He-ey! I asked how the date was. Did something happen?” They were as timid as they were before. And like before, the unease in his gut grew.

“U-uhm, it was fine.” The man heard them murmur. Why were they so secretive? They seemed frazzled and they were doing that thing where they touched their cheeks to cover their face whenever they got warm because they were…flustered. Are they–? On that date, did they–? Did something happen like that between them and their date?

Unnoticed by his roommate, Guy’s eyes widened. The pain in his chest returned tenfold. This should’ve been a good thing. That means they had a great time. Why is he mad? Why does he get that sinking feeling? Why does he feel so spiteful about it?

“What, no juicy details? Oh, I get it. You’re keeping secrets from me! Not a kiss-and-tell typa person now, are we?”

Maybe it was stupid of him to prod, especially about the one thing that set this rollercoaster of confusing emotions in the first place. But he needs to know. What did they do? How was it? Did they like it— being with him instead of Guy?

They continued to ignore his lighthearted interrogations and Guy knew that he should’ve just dropped it at this point but something in him snapped all of a sudden. He isn’t sure if the agitation that built up had got to him but he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out his next words—harsher than intended.

“Hey, I'm not the selfish one over here who left me all alone inside at a weekend while they got to actually enjoy the night in some fancy restaurant or something. C’mon, spill!” 

The lightness in his tone never left. In fact, to anyone else, it would’ve sounded like his usual playful nagging Both of them, however, noticed the shift in the direction of their conversation. (Since when was he one to provoke someone?) He’ll blame it on being in the heat of the moment for now. They understand he was just curious like that, right? All he was sure of was that he needed to know what happened. Why is he mad? Stop being mad. They didn’t do anything wrong.

He noticed their flinch far too late.

“I got stood up, Guy. Was that what you wanted to hear? Because, god forbid, I get to actually go out and do shit for myself!” The acidity of the way they said his name sent chills up to his spine. Their voice was eerily still, its coldness made Guy’s blood freeze. “Because I’m such a selfish asshole to enjoy things for once, right?”

“Oh.” 

Oh fuck. He fucked up.

“Yeah, oh,” A dry chuckle left their quivering lips. “Can’t believe I fucking thought he would actually show up. Thought somebody wasn’t fucking around with me for once and I–” They abruptly stood up. The harsh scrape of the chair puts the whole room into an uncomfortable silence.

They weren’t flustered from the date, they were embarrassed. Humiliated. They had probably been waiting for that douchebag to show up only to receive false hope and pitying glances. And he just had to add insult to injury by being when he clearly should’ve just listened, should’ve stopped, should’ve comforted them. He can finally see the tears that began to stream down their face.

“It’s whatever. I’ll be in my room.” 

“Fuck, I–I’m sorry. I didn’t know that he–”

But they had already slammed their bedroom door with a force that shook the place. Guy stayed sitting on the couch, all alone once more. Great, you just had to be a dick because of your stupid fucking…feelings about the thought of them spending their time with someone else! 

He’s pathetic.

Here he was brooding over his roommate going out on a date only for whoever that moron was to throw away the fucking chance to spend time with them. But maybe he’s the bigger moron in this case. The guilt seeped into his bones and he felt them ache. What is going on with him? He was supposed to be there for them. To be a decent friend. But now, he just ruined their already shitty night more.

Truly pathetic.

His eyes darted to the last line he had typed on his laptop and he held his breath.

"The sea is a jealous being."

The lump in his throat became harder to swallow. He needs to make it up to them.

—

This is stupid. This is fucking stupid.

They should have never gone with it. They should have never accepted that asshole’s offer in the first place. 

The faint sounds of an old TV series played from their phone, which had long been abandoned within patterned sheets, accompanied the figure that was currently trembling under the blankets. Stuttering, hiccuped gasps filled the room with a suffocating gloom. They think their hoarse throat couldn’t handle another broken sob to let out, having already cried every single last drop of their wallow out hours ago, their hot cheeks sticky from its tears. 

It wasn’t like this was the first time something involving relationships didn’t work out with them. They were used to it. They should be used to it—being left out, avoided, and unwanted. (It’s just a stupid date, it wasn’t even meant to be serious. Why are you making it a big deal? Why are you so affected?)

Why are they so affected by this? What made them think they were all-so-suddenly desirable to someone? Why did they even think they had a shot at all this lovey-dovey shit in the first place? 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. They’re shit with expressing their emotions and even shittier with dealing with them. Their outburst a while ago was a testament to that, shouting at Guy when he didn’t know any better. Maybe everything tonight was doomed from the start, then. They should’ve expected the hurt. Heartbreak was far from being a stranger to them at this point.

A tired groan came out of them again. 

Tired. They’re so tired.

Hungry rumbles erupted from their stomach. Damn it. Thanks to their ‘date’, they weren’t able to eat. Fuck it. Waiting out until Guy’s in bed and sneaking out of their room to eat would probably be the best option. For now, they stay bundled in their bed—thoughts spiraling, head pounding, eyes swollen, and a heavy heart waiting for its pieces to be picked up again.

Then they’ll sleep it off like always. And then they’ll confront him about it, play it off like it’s another bad day so he’ll stop worrying because they know he will. Everything’s back to normal— they’ll apologize for the overreaction, he’ll joke about it and everybody goes on with their lives again.

Yeah. That could work.

Knock, knock! 

“Hello?”

What the–? Ugh. For the love of–

“Hello? Roomie? You there?”

When they wanted to confront the roommate that they snapped at, they didn’t mean right now!

“What do you want, Guy?” 

“Can you come out, please? It’s…important.” 

They finally stood up from their blanket cocoon, hastily wiping the tears from their eyes to try and ‘shoo’ their roommate away. The door swung open, ready to put on their whole grumpy facade again. “Guy, I’m not really in the mood for–”

“Good evening, prestige customer! Your dinner awaits.”

What.

“Wha-- How did– When did you–?” Not giving any mind to Guy’s abominable impersonation of a British accent nor the messy scrawls of black ink on paper that vaguely resembles a mustache taped to his mouth, their eyes wander around the living room, confused and curious. 

The atmosphere was completely different from the bleak apartment they had been enduring for months. Multicolored lights that they usually use for the holidays hung around the area, providing the dim room with enough light to give a dreamy ambiance. The small foldable table set they had for eating was moved to the middle, covered in what they remembered to be Guy’s freshly cleaned checkered blanket that they had just picked up from the laundry when they were doing errands. 

On the table were some scented candles in mismatched glass containers, and two servings of a dish they couldn’t recognize. They even noticed faint jazzy music playing in the background to imitate the mood of a pretentiously lavish restaurant.

Overall, the decor clashed together horribly, yet despite that, they’d never seen the apartment so charming. The improvised set-up looks endearingly…cozy. 

“Come, let me guide you to your table,” Guy, err, the waiter, dressed in a white longsleeved button-up and apron, led them to the center, pulling out a chair and tucking the napkin he had around the collar of their shirt. The man directed their attention to the ceramics containing what seemed to be their dinner this evening.

“Our main course that the chef has prepared for tonight is a creative twist of a classic European dish composed of a rich tomato-based sauce paired with a unique and innovative pasta shell shape, garnished with traditional Italian herbs and spices.” “Guy, that’s a bowl of SpagetthiOs with some dried basil sprinkled on top,”

“Shush! Don’t ruin the immersion. And I am not Guy! I’m a waiter! Ahem!” The totally legitimate server who is not their roommate coughed very un-fakely, before composing himself in a more very real professional stance (then again, that might actually be real, seeing that he also serves the tables at Max’s when he’s not out delivering). 

“I believe your date has returned. A very dashing fellow if I do say so myself, consider yourself lucky!” Guy suddenly ducked down out of view (though they could very much see him all the same) removing the mustache and button-up to reveal a shirt with a tacky tuxedo print on it. 

He stood up, fixed a few strands of his hair that stuck up from his sudden movement, and looked at the person in front of him with a beaming expression. 

“Hey, honey! Just got back from the restroom. Wow! The food looks amazing!”

All ‘Honey’ could do was stare dumbfoundedly before covering their smiling mouth with a trembling hand. A small chuckle became a bemused giggle until eventually they were full-on belly-laughing.

“H-Honey? Really? Where did you even get that from? And what the hell are you w-wearing?” Their voice shook, unable to contain any semblance of composure. This whole situation felt like it was pulled straight from a rom-com. 

Guy laughed with them as he sat down to his side of the table. “Oh, so you like it? The nickname…came to me naturally. Feel like it suits you a lot, seeing how sweet you are to me, right?”

 Honey, huh? They wouldn’t mind him calling them that. 

“Also, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I think I look the most classy I’ll ever be!”

“Well, I’m underdressed then.” Their laughter had died down, slowly processing everything going on, well, it made them want to cry. All of this, for them? It’s too much trouble to go through.

“Nah, you’re fine! And besides, you look pretty all the time—which by the way, is absolutely not fair! I’m supposed to be the hot roommate here!” He declared with a mock offended tone as he sassily put his hands on his hips. Honey hoped he wouldn’t notice how their cheeks burned at how casually he called them ‘pretty’, like it was second nature.

“Then again, I wouldn’t mind if you underdress some more, ehh–”

It was his comfortingly familiar lewd quips, something they didn’t realize they missed hearing, yet why did their eyes water instead? The sobs that they weren’t aware they had been keeping in broke their dam again. Their cheeks must’ve grown tired from their crying all night, but this time, these weren’t tears for some dickhead that ditched them. 

The abrupt stop of laughter and panicked sputtering from Guy after hearing their croaky sniveling would have had Honey laughing if they weren’t already struggling to breathe from their convulsive crying. “Oh, fuck! Uh, okay, sorry! I’m sorry! Bad timing! I shouldn’t have joked–”

“No, no, Guy, I’m sorry I–” They let out a shaky breath. “Wh–why did you go through all the trouble for me? I-I snapped at you and I don’t–,” hands wildly gestured around their surroundings. “–deserve all of this! I don’t– I’m so sorry I–”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You deserve this, okay? If someone like Kayla gets to share a night with her boyfriend then you, out of all people, deserve to spend your weekend having a great time and I won’t let some jerk ruin that for you,” He looked at Honey in the eyes with a sincerity that involuntarily made them shiver.

It’s not often that Guy was this serious with them. It was only reserved for moments when it was late at night and their teasing and gossip turned into deeper talks about anything and everything. They forgot how intense the look in his pretty eyes could get, how it felt like he saw through them, through their very being.

“I’m…one of those jerks, too. I really shouldn’t have said those words to you. You’re not selfish or an asshole. Your date was the asshole for not showing up and that’s a reflection on him rather than yourself. I just sprouted out those stupid things because I was just…bitter that you had your own plans when I really didn’t have the right to be.” Among other things. He decided not to bring up the other messy emotional stuff in his head. It’s not what they need to hear right now. “I’m really sorry for pushing you. I…really hope that you can forgive me but I would understand if you won’t.”

“I forgive you, Guy. Thank you for… for all of this. It really means a lot.”

They shared a tender smile as they continued their chatting with their dinner. By the time they cleaned the dishes and put everything back in its original place, the pair plopped down on the soft cushions of their sofa. Guy shifted himself into a better position to face Honey.

“I’m surprisingly still not sleepy. What else do you wanna do for tonight?”

“Hm…Smash?”

“Honey! How scandalous! Take me out to dinner first! Oh, well technically, I already did, so I guess your wish is my command after all—Ow!”

“I meant the game, you freak!” --- THIS FIC TOOK SOOOOO LONG i was so close to giving it up BUT WE'RE HERE EYYYY also this was suppose to have a bonus scene but ehhhh idk where i was going with it rlly rlly hope you enjoyed ;--; i'm still not rlly happy with how i wrote this but there are some parts that i rlly like so i decided to post it HAHAHAHA feel free to give me feedback :DD and have a nc day/night!!

#redacted audio #redacted guy #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted honey #redacted fanfic #sten writes! #FINALLYYYYY #LIKE THIS TOOK SO LONG ITS NOT FUNNYYY #literally ruined my sleep sched BUT EYYY #i like the guy writing assignment part nyeheheh #haha get the title...bitter melon bc guy's bitter and green (with jealousy) hahahahha #thinking up the title took so long also i just thought that the word melon looks cute

[eyeheartboobiez]

-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖽 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗆𝖺𝗎 𝗂 𝗐𝗋𝗈𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾. 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂 𝗋𝖾𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 ����𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗅𝖿 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾'𝗌 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀 "𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗂𝗓𝖾" 🫶🏿

liked by y/nforeal and 972,336 others

@rred_hood: gm yall

View all 9,112 comments

user1: never wanted to be a towel so bad

user2: so i see y/n liked his post… interesting

user3: y/n bro just take him atp

⤷ user4: sis never beating the dating allegations😭

user5: i need him in the worst way bro please

@bigdickgrayson: put a shirt on skank

⤷@rred_hood: a bit much coming from bludhaven’s resident whore

user6: idk why yall always so quick to jump to conclusions. all she did was like his damn post have some decorum guys🤦‍♀️

⤷user4: DICK RIDAAA🗣️🗣️

⤷user7: girl he is NAWT gonna pick you💀

— load more comments —

Y/N Y/LN's leaked music continues to give fans hints about her relationship status, completely against the artist's wishes (8/17/2022 3:27 PM PT)

Many listeners of the singer woke up to a great surprise this morning when an anonymous twitter account posted a link to one of Y/N Y/LN's unreleased songs.

For the past few months, fans have been speculating when the artist would release more music since having been in a rumored relationship with the proclaimed gotham elite, Jason Todd. The lyrics "Boys blowin' up my phone, They just ain't you" and "I'd give this pussy to you, nine-to-five, five-to-nine" give us a clear hint of what may be going on between the two, and fans were quick to catch on.

Much to the artist's dismay, however, the song’s chorus found it way over to tiktok with over 700,000 videos having used the audio already. Many users of the app have participated in a dance trend that has already seemed to be created.

Despite all the positive feedback directed towards the singer, Y/N was not hesitant to express her irritation for the invasion of privacy. After seeing the topic trending on twitter this morning, a post was made to her account stating:

@y/nforeal: Now who tf leaked my shit?? This why yall dont ever get any music outta me😐

After doing some digging, inside sources have come to the conclusion that Artemis Grace, singer and former girlfriend of Jason, played some part in unconsentually releasing the song. Even though the two artists work under the same record label, Artemis wouldn’t do something this crazy, right?

But to nobody’s surprise, it seems that the vengeful ex has a long history of being senseless. Jason has stated in the past that the main reason he ended things with her was because she liked to have constant "control" over him. In an interview last year, he made it very clear how unhappy he was with Artemis, saying:

"She was known for taking extreme measures to make sure I stayed tied down to her. I don't really wanna get into it, but she's always had an obsession with being in the star of things, and our relationship was no exception."

While both Todd and Y/LN have yet to clear the air regarding their rumored love affair, sources still firmly believe that something is going on between them to have inspired such a song. Still, whether they wanna admit it or not, they really are super cute together. ;)

i really didn't wanna make artemis the bad guy here but i needed a plotline dawg😭

#ﾉ彡☆ [read all about it] — my writing #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd smau #smau #social media au #singer!reader #famous!reader #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood fanfiction #red hood fanfic #dc #dc fanfiction #fanfiction

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

DNI if you're a bigot (yes that includes you idiots who think I'm a sissy and not a woman) and do not be sexual with me if you're over 35 or a minor

Hello, I'm not going to say my real name so just call me Daniel (they/she and he if you prove you respect me enough). I am AMAB autistic gender-fluid transfem ENTIRELY CIS HET WHITE CHRISTIAN MAN THAT IS IMMUNE TO MODERATION that is a former plural system and now a singlet. I love all things nerdy like MTG, D&D, listening to infodumps, Pokémon and Honkai Star Rail. I also play Clash of Clans but put literally zero effort into doing it well. Also my gender is whatever makes me most attractive to you, but the gay version of it.

Idk what I'm really doing here but tumblr is a great dopamine farm. It's also where I met my besties and (not actually it's an inside joke) wives @subbyblue @atlasofthestars113 and @verdantmothmachinations

You are highly encouraged to do any asks at all I love attentions. DMs are also encouraged as long as you get to know me and gain consent first. Honestly just send any ask it gives many happy chemicals.

Minors shouldn't be looking at this blog but I can't stop anyone so 🤷 (you'll get bitch slapped with a block though if you try to do anything horny with me and you don't have your age somewhere or are a minor). However, if you want to ask a question about kink/sex for purely educational reasons I will highly encourage anyone and everyone, regardless of age, to do it. We need much, much better sex education especially around kink and kink safety.

Inspired by @xenasaur

This blog is safe for queers of all types, racial minorities, addicts, age regressors, systems (endogenic included), and systems with littles.

You should know that I'm an orca.... and orcas rule anything they can see >:3

For anything that happens in DMs I'll need to know you a bit first, I'm a person too and want be seen as such.

My general limits are scat, gore, raceplay, ageplay (though I'll happily care for you in a platonic sense!!), emotional manipulation (both directions), corruption of myself, intox without consent prior to the intox and more as I think to add them. Don't act or suggest doing aggressive or controlling things to me (ie: tearing clothing off me, pinning me down, gagging or restraining me, domesticating me, etc), I like being in control of myself at all times and having my body respected. The only person allowed to dehumanize me is me. I like the terms Mistrum, Mommy, and Mistress, and enjoy many many kinks including but definitely not limited to: petplay, sadism, general dominance/control, breeding, bondage, monsterfucking, and ahh... harder kinks I tend to keep to my hard kink blog ( @anunholyforehand )

However, my limits when subbing are almost everything (I'm very very vanilla and just want to be praised when it happens). Honestly when I feel subby the cuddles and comforts are much more important than anything else. Oh hey you actually read my limits, good job, have a link to all my audios I've done.

Also have a link to commission me

New thing!! I am a singlet but this wasn't always the case. I don't expect you to understand how or why but I do expect you to respect this fact. I am one and I am whole now. I will keep myself.

Stolen from someone else but the point remains

Legal stuff cause privacy (I'm fully aware it will make next to no difference but on the off chance it ever matters I may as well have it, took me like five seconds to copypaste the image anyways lmao)

#the jolly writings

[fandom-hoarder]

Ok, so I got an ask for mutual aid. Of course, it's human to want to help someone in need, even if all you can do is reblog their post. But you also don't want to be scammed, or help spread a scam. So you look for clues, or you only reblog your mutuals' aid posts because you at least know they're *real*, or you don't reblog aid posts at all.

So, what are the tells? (I'm not an expert, this is just what I've learned through osmosis.)

Do they follow/interact with you, outside of the mutual aid request?

Is their username weirdly generic?

Does the blog look like a real tumblr user, and not just someone who made a tumblr to ask for aid? How old is it? Is it involved in any fandoms? Does it seem staged?

Does their aid ask and needs description make sense? Is it overly vague, or bogged down with unneeded details?

If you quote-search the body of their aid ask, do you get any similar hits for scams on other sites or under other names?

Does the account for donations look legit?

What do you find when you reverse image search?

So, having received an ask that sounded very much like someone whose mutual aid I would want to support if they're real, but already having two red flags from the jump (not following me and not in my notifications, weird wording and grammar on ask), I endeavored to suss them out.

Screencaps of my adventure under the cut.

Like someone else has said, please don't go harrass this blog. Even if it's a scam, at some point there's a person behind that screen.

So here's the ask.

Red flags: they don't follow me, I don't know them, the ask is long, the grammar and punctuation are bad, word choices are odd or misspelled. These don't mean it's automatically fake, but it looks more like a weird AI than someone using google translate to communicate in English.

So I check their blog.

Their pinned post is this (click to read, it's a longass pic):

I don't take any links yet.

I take a block of their post and check it in google; all I get are snapshots of tumblr reblogs for their aid post. I click the "buy me a coffee" link, and it looks...idk, fine I guess. There's a tumblr logo, but clicking it seems to do nothing. (I'm on mobile)

A quick search of their name on tumblr gives me 2 posts mentioning them spamming this same message to people.

I read the one with the readmore linked here

After reading wannursyafiqah74's post about it, I got on my laptop and went back to casualdonutfire.

Mostly random reblogs; cats and other random reblogs of mostly pics, many with comments that could've/should've been tags, and no actual tags whatsoever. Like set dressing that says, "See? I'm a real person! I'm leaving comments about my reblogs that show I'm not a bot! I interact! I know what I'm I'm reblogging!"

It gives me a creepy vibe. I try google again to see if I can find their presence elsewhere on tumblr. The returns are still all snapshots of their mutual aid post. I open their archive. Ok, their tumblr has archive on...?

There are no fandom-esque posts until the very first reblog, a comment on One Piece fanart on October 18, 2023.

Their first post about needing aid was on November 7, 2023. Nearly the same wording as their pinned post, except they don't mention having a child. Zero specifics on what amount is needed for what or a timeline or anything. Not even anything about Christmas coming up. Tagged generously for trans surgery and other visibility words.

Oh. AND. The buymeacoffee is different. Adela, not Adella.

Then their next post for aid is fresh on January 11, 2024; nearly the same wording, except now there's a daughter and a birthday -- no date for the birthday, though, is there?!

[reblog linked here] If you go to their January 12th reblog and click on the "video proof," it's an audio-only black screen upload to imgur, with no identifying info for what's going on other than what they describe (and it doesn't really sound like what they describe; it sounds like a kid ready for christmas but not disappointed, like idk what more you're supposed to get out of it)

Then I clicked on their buymeacoffee link and noticed something. When I hovered my mouse over the tumblr symbol under their blurb, the link embedded there showed up at the bottom of my screen. And it was NOT casualdonutfire.

It was deepeagletimetravel. And, of course, it's a nuked tumblr. Hence doing NOTHING for me on mobile.

So I went to google again!

And lo, what do I find in those lurking reblogs?

ANOTHER MUTUAL AID POST IN EVERYONE'S REBLOGS. WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSONA AND STORY. BUT THE SAME WALL OF TEXT + BAD PUNCTUATION STYLE

Using a stock photo for their initial "bio" that seems awfully misleading when you don't say it's a stock photo.

And with stolen/uncredited art by thetransformistress as a thank you.

And, of course, the buymeacoffee page it linked for Ameera (buymeacoffee.com/AmeeradelzC) is blank. 👀 Totallynormal, nothing to see here.

But this makes me think. I go back to that Nov 7 casualdonutfire post, with their first buymeacoffee link to "Adela" (buymeacoffee.com/adelladomil)--

and what do ya know, the tumblr that opens is casualdonutfire!

So did they forget they made an adela account, and change their ameera buymeacoffee account to adella for their new post, forgetting to change the deepeagletimetravel tumblr name?! 🤷‍♀️

#possible scam #scam alert #scam likely #casualdonutfire #deepeagletimetravel

[fictionalfiona]

[Part 1] - Boyfriend Asmr Series Recommendation!!

hii, everyone! I've decided to give you guys some recommendations on my favorite bf asmr series that I love sooo much.

Idk about you guys but its been hard tryna find some good series that don't involve just kissing but have a nice build-up to the relationship!! That's why I find series better than just one-shot asmrs cuz those usually don't have the best character development and depth in their relationships, unlike series which often offer a more engaging and satisfying narrative journey [However I know a few good one-shot recs if anyone want those ^^].

The system i'll be using to give u guys the recs is: Series Overview (Overview of what the series is abt): ❤️ Cuteness lvl : /5

🔥 Spicy lvl: /5

❗ Plot lvl: /5

💕 My Thoughts:

lets get into the recs then! 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

btw to get the links to the series, click on the picture collages

────────────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────────────

1 - Best Friend's Older Brother Confesses While Drunk [M4A]

Series Overview: "Your best friend's older brother invites you over again, thinking you'll have the house to yourself. It doesn't last long before you're forced to hide in the closet together. What happens next? (You kiss and fool around, of course.)" ❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: I absolutely love this series! It was one of the first bf asmrs I've ever listened to and it always gives me butterflies whenever I relisten to the audio series. The first episode is essentially about how you visit your best friend named Alex's house to see them only to find Alex's older brother opening the door to tell you that Alex isn't here. Then Alex's older brother invites you in and you share a drink which leads to unexpected things to be revealed..!! The tension of your best friend potentially finding out about the relationship was REAL and the tension grows even more as the series progresses. PLUS Phasmid's deep British accent is not only hot (😻) but soo relaxing. Highly recommend this series if your looking for friends to lovers, tension, a deep british accent and is a binge worthy series cause this series only has 3 episodes.

2 -Trapped with your Scottish Tsundere Bully [M4A]

Series Overview: "Another busy day draws to a close as you prepare to head to your final class only to be ambushed by David; the Scottish exchange student, Football team running back and the bane of your existence. However, today he seems... off. Something's bothering him, you can tell. And as he drags you through the corridors to speak with you, you have a feeling you're going to find out what it is soon enough..."

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: THIS SERIES IS ACTUALLY SO FIRE! David is such a cutie pie and I think of him all the time!! This series is sort of like a sports romance because we follow David who is an exchange student from Scotland (so he has a Scottish accent which might I say: IS SO CUTE JAHSKHSA) who is trying to get better grades so that he can graduate high school and get those football scholarship offers he's been receiving. But the problem is that he has to first graduate but it isn't looking too promising for him until he meets YOU. The class topper and the person he kindaa bullies from time to time... But he asks for your help and u reluctantly help him out. Lemme just say that Pebbles (aka the voice of David) is an AMAZING scriptwriter and this whole series was just so funny but also heartwrenching to listen. PLUS THE VOICE ACTING IN THIS SERIES IS GRAMMY WORTH. There are other voice actors in this series too which is even cooler! AND DAVID'S NICKNAME FOR THE LISTENER IS SHORTSTACK!! SO CUTE >U<! Its a nickname he uses throughout the series and when someone tries to call you the same nickname repeatedly to annoy David...lets say he gets a little overprotective and things go south (can't spoil it for yall 😌) Overall, this series is great if your looking for enemies to lovers, sports romance and DRAMAA

3 -Starline SERIES [M4A]

Series Overview: "Part one of a romance series between the listener and a peculiar alien. After waking up on his ship, you realize that due to circumstances, you are not getting back to Earth so soon. Not before this stranger completes his mysterious job. With a whole new universe you had not even heard of before now just hours away, who knows what to expect? Not a soul could tell you, but maybe your new friend can show you the way. And your new friend. . . Perhaps there is more to him than what meets the eye?"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥.5/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗X100/5

💕 My Thoughts: HEAR. ME. OUT. I know sometimes alien romances aren't everyone's cup of tea and I get it. I was just like you. UNTILL THIS AUDIO SERIES!! Because why is this series so stinking cute and had me at the edge of my seat cause of all the ACTION! THERE WERE TIMES WERE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE BRECKETT 😭😭 But feelings aside, this series follows your adventure with this alien named Breckett who...uh...kinda accidentally crashed his spaceship on top of u 😃. Listen I didn't get that part either and how we are still alive but its alr cause he somehow patched us up in his high-tech medical bay aboard his spaceship. Alien technology is wacky shit 😭. Anyways Breckett informs you that you sadly cannot go back to earth just yet because he has a mission he was sent out to do on Mars and other planets so going back to Earth would only make him lose precious time. So now you're stuck with him on this crazy ass adventure with dodging asteroid storms, outsmarting intergalactic pirates and you two will have to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIVESSS!! Overall, this series is sooo funny, soo eventful and if you're looking for a good SLOOW BURN (and I mean slow girl but soo worth it),Strangers to lovers and sci fi vibes then you'd love this series!

4 -Your Childhood Crush Is Kind Of An Idiot [M4A]

Series Overview: "Charlie's first day at Sweet Pete's Pizzeria has been less than great, but when a familiar face pulls up on a familiar skateboard, he has a decision to make! Be a little rat filled with regret, or…apologizes"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Xinfinity/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: OKAY IF YOU'VE SEEN MY BLOG, you already know how much I'm obsessed with Charlie 😭. But there is a reason okay!!! This series follows your reunion with your old childhood best friend Charlie who works at a pizzeria. You haven't seen each other since graduating high school...until now! When you see each other again old feelings unravel and Charlie now doesn't want to stay out of touch with you anymore so you two decide to meet up at a skatepark after his shift. I can't express how much I love this little rat 😭❤️ He is the epiphany of cuteness and I can't tell u how many times I've listened to the series. I loovee his little Brooklyn accent too!! Also note that Charlie does make little references to this other series that Yuurivoice (aka the voice of charlie) made and you actually don't have to watch that other series to understand this one so dw! Overall I STINKING LOVE THIS SERIES and would actually say its my favorite asmr series I've ever listened too :D. If you're looking for childhood best friends to lovers, slow burn, FUNNY ASS DIALOGUE, wanting to dip ur toe into the yuurivoice universe then this series is 4 u!

────────────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────────────

If you stayed this long, thank you! Im thinking of making a part 2 where I have more series to recommend like good mafia,crime and more sci fi series so comment down below if u want more!

#yuurivoice charlie #david pebbles #yuurivoice #pebbles asmr #pebblesasmr #bf asmr #asmr roleplay #asmr video #Phasmidasmr #starline #gav va #bf asmr recs #reccomendations #DANG THIS TOO SO LONG

[samijami]

I'm in deep shit and everything i own might be looked through by CPS so i need to log out of my side emails for a bit and shit and omfg why did life do this to me

That night I got high, my friend decided to tell the office 'one of her friends' (who they guessed was me) said a various amount of things in snap messages, which she read most of them out loud and played the audio from that video of my parents arguing

She said she didn't intend for it to go too far, and that she only wanted them to get a gist of what was happening and not guess who it was (just incase they did need to step in or if I actually really badly hurt or killed myself). But they called me in for the counselor, and now CPS is involved since my friend read one of our messages where i said i didn't feel safe in my home

So CPS came to my house today after telling me they would at my school, and now they're coming here AGAIN later to LOOK THROUGH MY ROOM AND EVEN MY DEVICES TO SEE SHIT ON MY SOCIALS AND IF I POSE A DANGER TO MYSELF

they all know i lied to my parents and said that the person who reported me reported a couple other people, and were trying to start drama. Idk if the principal knows all of this but I'm gonna try to lie to him because:

My father called the school to know who called CPS and the principal told him i had a trans bf, and that i said i was in the LGBTQ

THE PRINCIPAL OUTED ME FFS I WAS AVOIDING THIS ALL YEAR

HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO OUT ME HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT

CPS is coming back and idk when, but i have a plan and it's my only hope..it's such a small hope and the chances of it working need a fucking miracle, but if this doesn't work? I will literally kill myself. If CPS doesn't take me away at that point, life would be miserable. My father is convinced that I'm only wanting to attend that vocational school next year because my 'sick girlfriend' is going and I want to be with 'her'. So if he gets in, then my father said that I can't attend it. He literally told me to go and tell my bf to call off attending the vocational school and if he doesn't, then he'd be ruining my dreams of a career

MY FATHER IS GOING TO RUIN MY WHOLE FUCKING FUTURE IF SOME TRANS GUY GETS INTO THE SCHOOL I WANT TO ATTEND AND HES TRYING TO MAKE ME BLAME HIM

TO. HIS. FACE.

But thankfully, my little inkling of hope has appeared and I might be able to cover this all up. But, after all of this, me and my bf will have to hide in public, and I won't be able to be out at school at all.

I'm not going through my plan here, I'm just telling you guys your part. I need this or else my life is on the line. Quite literally, it's fucking scary.

First, I'm logging out of all of my secrets Gmails, and making a new Tumblr account. I need the people who I'm writing stories with to make alt accounts (@oatsynalliums and @technicolor-chocolate) that pretend to be either indiscrete or just blatantly not LGBTQ, and pretend like we've been talking about our stories for a while in our messages

Second, never ever interact with any accounts that might link back to my main, or yours. And try to avoid LGBTQ content so that it won't pop up on my dashboard due to you interacting with it

Three, someone TRUSTWORTHY keep track of my Gmail passwords and write them down to tell me later so that they won't get found on anything I own, so I can log back into them later

Four, someone who's smart and knows a lot about the internet and how sites work, answer me some questions in messages

This is DIRE. I could DIE. I am begging you guys to go alon with this part of the plan, and don't question anything since I am scrambling like crazy to put this whole thing into motion I EVEN INTERRUPTED MY FRIEND IN THE MIDDLE OF HER JOB TO CALL HER ON SNAP AND SHE NEEDED TO GET AN EXCUSE FROM HER MANAGER SO I CAN TALK TO HER CUZ ITS THIS URGENT I COULDNT EVEN WAIT UNTIL SHE WAS OFF OF WORK

PLEASE FUCKING HELP IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

#tw caps #tw child abuse

[quartztwst]

May I humbly ask about your animatic-making process?

i got you

1. Find an idea

I usually get my ideas from tiktoks or some songs.

I kinda try to fit the song to the character I want in it lmao

2. Download the audio

I’m an android phone user so downloading stuff is really easily.

I usually use YTMP3.com to download my stuff

there is a lot of websites with that link but l usually pick the second or first one

Then insert the audio in Alight Motion. I use Alight Motion a lot since there’s a lot of choices there.

Also I use the APK version so I don’t have to pay for premium features. ALSO THIS IS ON MY PHONE. I use an Ipad to draw….

3. (Optional) Storyboarding

GUYS TBH IN MY ANIMATICS I DON’T STORYBOARD

EVERYTHING IN MY ANIMATICS, I LITERALLY JUST WING IT LMAOOO

The only animatic I did need to storyboard was Floyd’s little minecraft song angst video LMAOOO:

a lot of people happen to storyboard their animatics so they have a plan but i literally storyboard in my head and if i think it looks good, i just put it in 😭😭😭

I literally have to go on my old tablet to fetch some of my old content here

4. START DRAWING

In my drawing process, it’s kinda easy unless I’m using a bunch of colors.

I also try to change the styles up so you can differeniate the animatics from eachother like how in Jade’s Laufey video, the colors are warm and soon turn pale and cold. And in the To Love a Boy, it’s like pt 2 of Jade’s Laufey video but in MC’s perspective and in which the MC does not return his feelings so the colors aren’t warm as Jade’s perspective.

And then in Azul’s Laufey video, the appearance and color palette’s looks very sweet and valentiney since it’s in the MC’s perspective on having a FAT FUCKING CRUSH on Azul

Epel was the hardest because during that time, I was not that active on TikTok and school took my time so it took a lot of time to gain back the motivation and finish it

ALSO, i literally draw on my Ipad now and I send the pictures to my phone to edit them so it’s an annoying process since I DON’T WANNA PAY FOR ALIGHT MOTION WHEN I CAN GET IT FOR FREE

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT TOOK ME A YEAR?? My “I Wanna Be a Princess!” MUSIC VIDEO… it’s not animatic but that took like a year to finish because I forgot about it but I did so well on it.

AND YOU CAN TELL HOW LONG IT TOOK BECAUSE THE MC APPEARANCE ALREADY CHANGED

5. Editing

Okay, I’m so happy that I actually got into editing for a bit because my videos would’ve looked so trash bro

LMSOOO but editing animatics aren’t really that hard unless you’re going for a specific transition or movement

I guess the transition that pissed me off the most were the ones in Jade’s Laufey video when it switches from warm to cold and Epel’s MLP video where it switches from silly to dark.

My editing process isn’t that unique. I just insert the song, move the pictures, and done 😭😭😭

6. Touch-ups

Touch-ups include subtitles, effects, filters, etc

I don’t really use filters for my animatics unless i’m going for something

BUT SUBTITLES?? yeah I use them a lot lmao

But also trying to fit the subtitles with the animatic is hard bc IDK WHAT TO GO FOR so i literally pull them out my ass

7. Post

I don’t do much about posting or what to say with my animatics

i just post them

[hunter-sylvester]

Hi! I’m the anon who wrote the ask about Hunter’s parental issues and about his attachment to Kevin. Thank you for answering my asks, I absolutely love the way you write and how you explain everything! You’re extremely talented!🫶

I honestly didn’t notice how in love Hunter was with Kevin until I watched the movie a second time. It’s crazy how you can literally see all feeling in Hunter’s eyes when he looks at Kevin. I also loved how you said that their relationship fits a BDSM bratting dynamic, because I totally see it.

[and as someone who has ADHD and deals with RSD on a regular, I completely understand him. It sucks.]

Hey 🤘 [prev ask for context] Yeah I obviously couldn’t be 100% sure they were from the same person but it definitely makes the most sense lol

Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoy my rambling thoughts about Hunter as a character <3

If you do like my writing, I’m tempted to sheepishly gesture over to my actual Metal Lords fics over on Ao3 if you haven’t checked them out, even tho it makes me feel like a bit of a dick to do so 😅 (They are mostly locked to registered users, blame AI data scraping. The only Metal Lords fic not locked rn is a tiny ficlet. An Ao3 account is free tho 👀)

In any case, I really appreciate that you pushed me to do a bit of analysis again. Because sometimes I tend to forget that all the stuff that lives in my head as “obvious” isn’t always stuff I’ve said out loud on here lmao

There’s a lot to pull from the film if you’re willing to be a bit mentally ill about it.

And you’re absolutely right about the way he looks at Kevin, I mean, it happened enough for me to make a whole ass gifset of it lmao

Look at him. The boy is smitten. Clueless, of course. But smitten.

Which I credit basically entirely to Adrian Greensmith, as it was a vision he had for the character. I really can’t imagine Hunter having been played by anyone else as he brought so much to the role. (Fun fact, if I remember correctly: Noah Urrea, who plays Clay, originally auditioned for Hunter. No harm but I'm very glad he didn't get that. He makes a good Clay and Hunter just needed to be played by Adrian.)

One of the key things Adrian brought to the role also being, probably accidentally, his anxiety.

"I spent a lot of Metal Lords feeling a bit anxious [...] and in hindsight I wonder if some of that was just a sign that Hunter was quite an anxious character [...] I mean his body's so tense all the time." - Adrian Greensmith.

I shortened that quite a bit so I'm including a slightly longer clip of the interview audio for more context. (I can upload a subtitled video clip if anyone wants that as well as link the video on yt but I'd have to do a bit of a search for that)

Aside: If I had to guess I'd say he's probably referring to Peter Sollett who directed Metal Lords when he mentions a 'Pete'.

And yeah the bratting thing was a little bit of a joke but mostly not a joke. Without going absolutely off the deep end, the mentality behind bratting is something I really see in Hunter.

Evie Lupine has a wonderful video about bratting and why people would be interested in it (and why some people hate it) but a short snippet that always spoke to me from that is the following:

"The motivations behind bratting are pretty varied. I think one of the main ones would be a sense of security and comfort. This is when the acting out is sort of a way to be reassured that even when you, break rules, even when you push at things, the partner that you're with is not going to abandon you." - Evie Lupine

Obviously, with Hunter's fear of abandonment, it's easy to see why this would appeal to him.

He also just...idk he has brat energy - sincerely, a brat.

And Kevin does just play out the counterpart to that. He doesn't always have Hunter under control but he tries to.

And he does mostly act as that safe person to brat against, which again amplifies the impact it has when Hunter starts to think he's actually losing Kevin, destroying that feeling of safety.

Aside: I obviously don't think that these characters, in universe, negotiated for a bratting dynamic. In universe it'd be something that just sort of organically developed within their friendship/relationship. But even more than that it's an archetype of a dynamic that we as the audience can easily read into their interactions if that makes sense.

Can you believe the shit they will accidentally put in movies? lmao

And yeah, I have ADHD as well. And RSD is something that affects me pretty fucking severely. I've only really become more aware of it in the past year or so as my partner has pointed it out more and more.

So it's definitely something that I then noticed more and more in Hunter too.

Obviously this is all just my take on the character, and other people might have totally different interpretations. That's the beauty of art, we all get to find what we need in it and read it in our own ways, influenced by our own life experiences.

Thank you again for asking, Anon 🤘 (if you want to use a nickname or smth to identify that you're the same Anon, let me know. If not, that's totally okay too, but I might not always know it's you)

#this was supposed to be more CASUAL and it kinda is?? just still...long lmao #it's over fucking 800 words again #metal lords #hunter sylvester #answered ask #hunters asks #anon ask #hunterwriteswords #character analysis #adrian greensmith #kevin x hunter #kevin schlieb #my post #gifs

[hhoneyglasss]

coke zero

notes: hello ! it's been a bit, but here's my first take on lovely ! i've nvr written for them before, so pls be patient w me lolol. i'm also trying out third person perspective, since i think that's what ppl tend to prefer in terms of listener characters (plus i've nvr written it before). i actually kinda like it, so i'll def be writing it more.

also, i actually began writing this awhile ago (like two or three weeks now) before i knew abt vincent and lovely's new BA, so i added a different ending to this so it would go a bit better with it (said ending had me adding 700 words to this fic, but that's oki !) also, ig this would take place before said new audio, although i'm not sure it matters. figure i'd mention it anyways tho.

and no, i am not sponsored by coke zero !! i just thought it would be smth lovely would like (don't ask, bcuz idk either)

hope u enjoy !!!

pov: lovely — third person limited

pairings: lovely/vincent, lovely/coke zero (jkjk)

word count: 1.7k

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46691254

!! TWs {these begin under the cut} !! slight angst, but nothing too severe. lovely gets a little emo in this one, basically.

reblogs r v much appreciated !! thank u !! <33

It’s a nice night tonight–the moon is round and full, a pale, milky glow overlaying everything in view. The stars seem to glitter even though they’re lightyears and lightyears away, almost as if they’re calling to Lovely, who's sitting on the railing of their balcony. 

Vincent’s out tonight–some business to attend to with William about a new property they’re buying. He asked if they wanted to tag along, but they declined, so a chaste kiss was left on their cheek before he hurried out the door, only the scent of peppermint and diesel left behind. 

A Coke Zero’s in their left hand, though they don’t know why. They didn’t even realize they were buying it until they felt the weight of an 8-pack in their hands, the store receipt crumpled in their back pocket. 

They can’t remember the last time they drank it, but they do know one thing–it doesn’t taste the same as it used to. 

Gone is the taste of humid summer nights and anxious all-nighters before an exam. Gone is the taste of embarrassment because they blew out yet another lightbulb. Gone is the taste of seawater underneath the warmth of the day’s sun. 

Each time they take a sip, it’s sweet, sour, then bitter, yet they keep drinking–and they know they’ll keep drinking until the entire bottle’s gone, until the entire pack is gone. They’ll keep going until nothing’s left but eight empty glass bottles and memories still so vivid they’re painful. 

How do you manage when you’re stuck between two worlds yet forever bound to one? You could say it’s funny, but Lovely thinks it’s sad–although there’s a part of them that can appreciate the humor and irony of it. 

How can one claim to still be human when their heart doesn’t even beat? How can they call themselves ‘human’ when their blood is forever frozen? How can they still feel human when they run so fast that death can’t even catch up? 

When they look around them and can see the smallest fibers of dust floating through the night air, they know they couldn’t before. When they pick up the scent of squirrels asleep in their nest half a mile away, they know any other human can’t. 

But isn’t this what they chose? Isn’t this what they wanted? 

It’s been over a year, yet they’ve still got one foot in the human door and a hand in the vampires’. They look in the mirror and see silver and red eyes staring back, yet they swear they can still feel the pulse of electricity in their veins. Their core is nothing but a solid sphere of marble, yet they can still feel their face heat up whenever Vincent kisses them. 

What’s the point of being able to run faster than wind if they can’t outrun this? They seem to have escaped everything else, outran everything else, but somehow the human part of them is able to stay up to speed? Why? 

These are the answers they’re searching for as they stare up at the moon, a celestial oculus penetrating the black of the night. They think about how this is the same moon they’ll see for the rest of eternity.

Eternity. The thought of being alive that long makes them laugh so hard some of the Coke Zero spills over the side of the bottle, and it slides down their hand. They laugh and laugh and laugh until it turns to tears, and the tears mix with the Coke Zero and the sound of it fizzing makes them wish they could go back to who they were before. 

They watch as it drips down their hand and onto the wood of the railing before it soaks into the cracks of the splinters, and it‘s gone. 

Earlier today, they had cut their palm on the edge of a paper they were cleaning from off the kitchen counter. One drop of blood had dripped before magic flowed to their hand, and the cut was gone. They felt the tears worsen when the expected burn of soda in a half-healed paper cut never came, and they tilt their head back. 

Isn’t it backwards to wish for the delicate vulnerability that comes with being human? They miss the cheap latex bandaids, the pain of isopropyl alcohol, the countless bruises that appeared on their skin even though they hadn’t a clue where they came from. They miss being reckless—they miss doing stupid shit and having to face the consequences of it. 

And maybe this was why they fell off that mountain. Maybe it wasn’t just an accident—maybe it was their attempt to feel that human fragility again that they took for granted. They got so close, too—until they fed and the wounds healed and not a scar was left in the wake. 

Maybe that’s why they gun it 80 down 45 mile an hour roads. Pedal pressed down to the ground as far as it will go, wheels squealing against the asphalt as they chase that mortal thrill of being careless and impulsive. Yet each time the crash is incoming, they catch themself, and the danger of it all disappears. The high remains out of reach, forever a forbidden finish line. 

It seems they’re too fast and too slow at the same time, how sad is that? A dichotomy that lives and breathes inside Lovely, someone who’s torn between two halves of themself. 

Will these feelings change? Will they ever not feel like a stain on the Solaire name? Will there be a time where they look in the mirror and see those silver eyes and come to accept them? Will they ever feel like themself again? 

Lovely takes another swig of Coke Zero and looks up at the sky. They can’t answer their own questions, so why should the stars be able to? All they do is twinkle millions of miles away–Lovely supposes they’re chasing their own questions too. 

They hear Vincent at the front door, but before they’re able to react, the whoosh of the balcony doors can be heard behind them. They turn to see him standing there, his hands still holding onto the knobs. He catches the reflection of the moonlight on their tear stained cheeks, and he’s holding them before they even had the chance to set down their bottle. 

He asks them what’s wrong, but they don’t answer. Sobs hold back their voice, and they stay quiet as they lean into him. He doesn’t press his questions, but instead continues holding them, his hands running up and down their back as they rest their head in the crook of his shoulder. 

The minutes continue to tick by until Lovely pulls away, the heel of their palm wiping away the new tears they had shed. They look up at him, a shy smile tugging at their features when they ask if they can go on a run together. Vincent nods, smiles back, and holds their hand anyway as he leads them down to the ground floor of the house. 

Before he can ask them where they’d like to go, they’ve broken into a sprint through the underbrush, and he’s quick to follow soon behind them. Their laughter up ahead fades into the sound of cracking twigs and crunching leaves, and he can’t help but to laugh too. The brambles catching and tugging into their jacket have yet to faze Lovely as they keep running, the wind warm on their face as it dries the rest of their tears. They don’t know where they’re going, but they don’t quite care either, so they just keep running until they find out. 

They finally see a break in the forest’s artillery of trees and they emerge through it, a welcomed burn pulsing through their legs and their breath heavy as they walk onto new ground. Vincent’s close behind them, and Lovely giggles as he combs the gumballs and twigs out of his hair. 

They turn away from him and look around. They’re at a cliff–or more specifically, a waterfall, as they can hear the sloshing and rushing of water to their right. The ground is soft and doughy beneath them, the marsh plush as they walk towards the edge of the cliff. They sit down on it, their legs dangling over the black, jagged rock as they gaze down at the pool of black water down below. They run their fingertips along the edges of the cliff’s precipice, the texture rough and gritty, but cool from the waterfall’s mist.

Lovely stands up again and begins to take off their shirt and shorts, to which Vincent chuckles and asks what they’re doing. They point down at the pool, a sly smirk pulling at the corners of their lips. Vincent sighs before pulling off his own shirt and pants, and he moves to stand beside them. 

Lovely grabs his hand and smiles at him, and he swears the sight coaxes the air out of his lungs. He’s breathless as he looks away, and Lovely counts down from three before they finally jump off, their hands still intertwined. 

On the way down, Lovely yells, a wondrous sound filled with so much joy it has Vincent yelling too. It turns into loud laughter as the intense rush of wind grows cooler and the water comes closer. They finally splash down and Lovely relishes in the feeling of water wrapping around their skin and Vincent’s hand still in theirs. 

When they finally reach the surface and their eyes meet his, they swear they’ve never felt more free. 

They both cliff dive for hours, jump after jump yet the excitement of it never fades away. The night passes before they finally shrug back on their clothes and sit on the cliff again, the black sky fading as the dawn begins. The sun still has yet to rise when Vincent hands Lovely a bottle of Coke Zero–they smile and let out a small chuckle. He’s got a bottle for himself too and he pops it open with his teeth before wrapping his arm around their shoulder. They lean into him, and a sigh leaves them as they take that first drink. They both sit there as they watch the sunrise, the only sounds that can be heard being the rushing of water beneath them and the swishing of Coke Zero in glass bottles.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fanfic #redacted audio fanfic #redacted lovely #redacted asmr lovely #redacted audio lovely #redacted vincent #redacted asmr vincent #redacted audio vincent #redacted solaire clan #honeyglass’s handwritings

[heartfelttry]

on a tiktok comment, i mentioned having taken notes of thepandaredd's OCs and whatnot to be able to name-drop them once i am un-sickly enough to commit to writing DC fanfics (and i mentioned them in a comment to begin with because either thepandredd has two OCs named Ted now, or we got a prequel or reboot of their original Ted OC) and it got over 1 Like which is all the attention i needed to post my notes lmao

(it just took me a while to post bc i got Too Into My Own Head about having maybe missed something, so i re-watched all thepandaredd's not-Comic-Book-Club videos (tho i do enjoy those, you should watch them) on his yt channel before posting this)

real quick, please note, i did leave all my headcanons in here because i am emotionally attached to them, but i did make said hcs labeled in blue and i made them tiny so you can know where to avoid them if you so wish. that was my big thing i want anybody reading to be aware of. onto the smaller notes of interest (no pun intended, i just prefer small-text when i babble and over-explain), these notes are messy chaotically organized. bc my brain is messy chaotically organized. (also: i have dyslexia and chronic memory loss, so please do forgive the accidental missspellings and the not-accidental "isn't this too much detail?" sections) this is all copy-pasted from my notes with some additions made for your guys' convenience (i put in links where i remembered links go (im sure i missed some citations i could have linked and forgot to even cite links in many other places, ugh, i do not want to cite everything, i gave up, i know my notes have evidence even if i didn't link the video every time, you fact-check, i'm tired lmao rip), i colored the text sometimes, i clarified things i theorize sometimes so things make sense to non-mind-readers, the works. i always speak to a hypothetical audience in my notes tho, so, shockingly, that wasn't actually added for you. idk why i p much always do that; i just accept it. but you're welcome). feel free to copy and edit this down further for your own use to update. i know i plan to update my private notes when new info/OCs come out, but idk if i will update this public post, ever, but hey! maybe!

also, above all: please follow thepandaredd (he/they) on your favorite social media of choice. support the guy on patreon. buy merch. all the good stuff. here's the linktree to all the important things related to thepandaredd's socials and whatnot. enjoy their creations, he's really fun lol

● was posted: 30 March 2024 ● was last updated: 2 April 2024 (reason for update: i realized i forgot the Reboot Hand, updated on March 31st + forgot to include a bullet-point on Bill being anti-smoking, and forgot to say who set Bill on fire, updated on April 1st + realized i got confused and my math on Bill's age was wrong as i originally said he was a minimum of "16+ years older than the 10 year-old Robin he met" when he is actually a minimum of 6+ years older to therefore make him a minimum of 16 years old to Robin's 10, updated on April 2nd)

↳ here is my "after posting this" thoughts if you are curious. it consists entirely of a friend of mine encouraging me to publish some texts i sent her answering "what was my favorite thing i learned?" and "do i have any questions?" (from 30 March 2024 original post) ↳ ill maybe make another one of these "after posting this thoughts" if i ever do a BIG update on this? who knows lol

also, please note i have yet to see any thepandaredd twitch streams (i just know my brain and my brain likes edited content, esp if it is short or short-ish bc my brain loves that shit. i like Dimension 20 more than Critical Role, i like ConnorDawg's gaming youtube channel more than CDawgVA's twitch or his VOD youtube channel that said edited gaming videos all come from, and i like audio dramatizations of books way more than audiobooks. it is just how i unfortunately or fortunately work), so idk if any additional info has been said there. i have heard good things about thepandaredd's Stream Dump youtube channel tho, so do go to that aforementioned linktree and check it out! if i ever am able to get my brain to accept twitch VODs, and not just zone out and disassociate when i should be engaged, i will delete this section (hence why it is under the Read More) and update accordingly ✌️

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★★★ AGENT OF THE REBOOT (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel? or maybe the TVA counts, idk, i havent seen "Loki")

● has one confirmed worker of an unknown name and unknown pronouns (hc/theories on pronouns: However, since this character's form can change, one can assume this agent character takes on the pronouns of the original form (eg. the character did take on Bill The Henchman's form and Bill uses he/him pronouns, so assumedly this agent character would accept he/him pronouns while using Bill's form. it feels respectful towards the original form. however, this is an argument one can use as a hc and is not confirmed. i hate JKR, but remember the scene where everyone used polyjuice potions to pretend to be Harry Potter in the last book and they all kept their original pronouns despite having Harry's face? like, as an explicit example, Hermione still had she/her pronouns while fully transformed into having Harry's body? weirdly pro-trans scene for a terf to have written. but yeah, same could go for this character. so an argument can be made both ways); but if i ever write about this agent, until proven otherwise: my hc and what i plan to do is either they/them or a neo-pronoun for this character due to a mixture of headcanon (kinda cool for an organization to be totally nameless, ageless, faceless, and genderless (maybe even of a omniuniversal hive-mind? idk, we don't know anything), so i assume this is that) and a lack of clarity/details on this specific agent character. but there you go, there are all the options one can assume for this agent character's pronouns. adjacently, personally, if i do a neo-pronoun for this character when writing: i think i'll either do the "the royal we", a classic; or i will do the definite article, as recently popularized in "Doctor Who", but idk, we'll see, might just do "they/them" for simplicity sake. or maybe we'll get pronouns if the Agent comes back, who fucking knows). (hc name of character: remember that Iron Man MCU joke about "What? Phil? No, his first name is Agent" about Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD? yeah, if i write for this character, i will be assuming an acceptable name is "Agent, just Agent")

● Introduced as "I'm an agent of The Reboot". unsure if organization is "The Reboot" or "Agents Of The Reboot" or if its called something else and he just did layman terms for it so that it was "agent of the reboot"? i have no idea. i personally most prefer Agents Of The Reboot, or layman terms if i or someone else can come up with a cooler name. (if this was Marvel and i had seen "Loki", there would probably be a Time Variance Authority (TVA) joke to make here). could also be just a one-man thing where Agent Of The Reboot is the character's name/species, and they are the only fucking one?? idk, we aren't supposed to know shit about this character, they are supposed to be a mystery, it makes sense that nothing is confirmed and that nothing makes sense, idk what to tell you

↳ ThePandaRedd normally introduces character name differentiations via a text box saying who is playing who, but this guy's just said " ? ". what a fun meta detail lol

● Helps characters reboot and "get to where you're supposed to go"

● This agent/The organization is responsible for "Crisis on Infinite Earth", "New 52" reboots

● Reboot ability is activated via snapping. very Thanos of the character, but sure, why not, it's a cool fucking ability

● Copies other person's face because "it's what your brain will recognize the easiest". Visually, to readers, it looks like a pixelated version of it (i assume that aspect is for viewer's clarity of who is speaking when. kind of like how "Avatar: The Last Airbender"'s air is supposed to be invisible (y'know, as air generally is) to the characters within the show, but is drawn so viewers can see what Aang is bending and how. but. like. for character design)

↳ Was introduced helping Bill The Henchman, more about that in Bill's section. Said Bill's storyline "got too convoluted" and instead of fixing the storyline, Bill was deemed for a reboot-- well, the whole universe was taken to start over, actually. 

↳ speaks with a slight computer-y voice-changer effect. makes the character kind of sound like they come from an 8-bit video-game.

↳ my hc: is that this kind of works as a mixture of "The Digital Circus" and @/cholv0q (of tiktok)'s Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design (their linktree is over here btw). where the character kind of just comes from this early-internet days (which is when there was more widespread bingeing and cross-references of comics, due to them being uploaded digitally and fan-forums citing themselves and whatnot (which, fun fact: apparently, January 1, 1983 is considered the Internet's official birthday. so that is the fucking earliest we could be talking about) (i know also the idea of comics in academia, like getting analyzed in essays, became more popularized around this time. but i don't know how much of that is causation and correlation. it's still considered new and novel for a campus to include graphic novels in a required reading list, though it is on the edge of being "uncommon but welcome" nowadays. English classes entirely focused on graphic novels, albums, and comics are still a v new-ish thing. but im getting off-topic, that was just my experience in going to college in the ~2020s anyway). and ergo, comic companies had to care a bit more about continuity and it was less of a "well, it depends on the writer if they care about that" thing. hence, the kind of "the demand formed and so the need was filled" creation of this character/organization? (not as in "ah, i see a job oppurtunity here" type of "demand formed, and we can fulfill that need". but as in "the universe is ever-expanding and ever-repairing itself" kind of mysterious cosmic horror. kind of like Marvel Comics' The Watchers but 50× the eldritch horror. like whatever force in the universe made Earth's deep sea creatures and DC-Comics-version-of-Mars' white martians? that force played some early desktop computer horror games and said "let me put this on my pinterest board as inspo for this new project i'm working on" type of shit. nobody knows where this fucker/these fuckers came from, they just didn't exist before and suddenly they came into being, fully formed. very unsettling) and due to the tech of the time, the voice filter and pixelation of the face make even more sense. how does "The Digital Circus" apply to this? just the sense of "omnipotence in an old fucking desktop computer technology" really. as for the @/cholv0q's Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design bit, i just really fucking like that Chol included this bit about "changing[ this character's vocal abilities to come from] an old radio[ on his chest,] where his real voice comes from, instead of his mouth or throat". i really fucking like that idea so im yoinking it and switching the tech away from a 1920s radio. and i think that would be fucking sick to apply to this Agent character considering their shapeshifting, pixelation, implied vocal changes (i assume the voice changes with the form and its not That Voice with every form, just That Voice Filter ontop of the everchanging voice), voice filter, and general uncanny-valley-ness. just imagine a pixelated version of your face talking to you about rebooting your life while never opening their mouth, as the uncanny low-rez doppleganger version of you talks to you through a fucking 80s PC speaker lodged in its throat/clavicle area, sounding like the earliest versions of a voice-acted horror video-game. i love it. i think it maintains the mystery about "how the fuck, whomst the fuck" while upping the creepy to be even creepier, to me at least. plus, then there's the whole "snaps to reboot" ability, yes, but now we got the "Video-Game Boss with a Second Phase" built in right there because if snapping does all that reality-shattering/-bending nonsense then what the fuck do you think happens if the Agent does finally open their fucking mouth???

● also, this symbol flashed up while Bill the Henchman fell post-snap. i normally wouldn't think to screenshot such a thing, but i thought it was odd upon my most recent re-watch (bc anxiety about posting this publicly and maybe missing something, you get it) that it kind of has a hand-shape inside it? which a hand symbol + the act of snapping with one's hand correlates in an interesting way, not to mention the timing of this appearing IMMEDIATELY after the snap. but maybe it is a comic reference i am missing? maybe it is related to the Agents of the Reboot getting their own merch of some kind someday? do they get a logo, does that make sense for them to have, are they a team or...? idk. but i added it here just in case it is pertinent in some way (excuse the low resolution)

● the fucker (/tone indicator: affectionate) is within this compilation video, i will only link this video one more time in Bill The Henchman's section (below, under the "People" section)

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★★★ RED HOOD'S ANTI-HERO ACCIDENT ASSURANCES (DC only. created in a comment within thepandaredd's tiktok that then thepandaredd replied to and acted out. the comment was by @/timelordpoet1273 on tiktok. i probably didn't need to write this one but it made me laugh so im including it)

● timelordpoet273's comment: "Red Hood just starts his own insurance company. He names it Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. Nobody answers the phone, and the voiceail is swear words."

● thepandaredd, uh, i mean, Jason Todd's said voicemail (yes, i made a fucking transcription lmao pls let me live, i have chronic memory loss and my notes are my lifeblood): [voice 1] "Hello. And thank you for calling Red Hood's Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. If you are calling in regard to one of our anti-heroes, please stay on the line for a recorded message." [voice 2] "Now I know for a goddamn fact that you did not just call an insurance agency to try to file a claim against a bunch of anti-heroes that kill people for a living. Do you have any idea how much ammo fucking costs? We are out here spending our entire life savings to buy you the briefest little moments of the only life you will ever live, and you have the audacity to try and file a claim against us? What the fuck did we do, shoot out your knee-cap? Fuck you. Whatever we did is going to save you down the fucking line. Goddamn— Hang up your fucking phone."

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★★★ SUPERB PROWERS: SUPERHERO INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")

↳ colloquially, it's apparently called "Superb Prowers Insurance Agency"

● Motto: "Superb Prowers insurance. If it's not a bird and it's not a plane, give us a ring and we'll do our thang." (note: Todd Andrews hates saying this at the beginning of every phone-call)

● Covers civillian damages done by superheroes + super-battles. "Our team mostly covers superhero and super-powered related accidents and injuries?"

↳ Does not cover supervillains (from damages done to said villains by superheroes) (however: Bill the Henchman was covered by them for the loss of his bones)

● is up the street from Vitriol Vindications (which is insurance for supervillains and the damages done to them by superheroes)

● confirmed workers: Todd Andrews (is one of their representatives, as in "I represent Superb Prowers Agency". more on Todd Andrews is below, has their own section with the other OCs in "People"); maybe/maybe not to be confused with Todd the Goonion Rep (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, The First Universal Henchmen's Union, is below, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") bc idk, guess they could all be the same guy? idk, i would assume no but maybe

↳ Todd Andrews' outfit is in their own character section, which could arguably be following the company's dress-code for its workers or be their employees' uniform or something

↳ in the first video Todd Andrews used a cell phone and paced around. second video on, Todd Andrews is seated, assumedly at a computer, and is wearing a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. assumedly, the later is standard for all workers, the former was just Todd Andrews briefly based on materials thepandaredd had available for said skit, i mean an eccentric habit or done for the purpose of the documentary-interview style that only happened in the first video

● only one villain has called the agency, and it was Killer Shark, which that is both his civillian- and villain-name. so idk if the workers call villains by their civillian or villain identity when talking directly to them (i also assume "Cassandra", who is a few bullet-points down but still within the Superb Prowers section, is not Todd Andrews calling Cassandra Cain (or any other DC character phoentically named "Cassandra/Kassandra/etc") by her first name, esp since thepandaredd likes to play Cassandra as nonverbal in skits and Todd Andrews was on the phone. but there is also ways to use live-captions and text-to-speech, along with Deaf/HOH and nonverbal web-cam/chat services to have a hotline person call for you and whatnot, but i assume that's not what is happening here, i digress. i assume it's just a random Cassandra, and workers don't call heroes by their civillian forename)

● Insurances:

↳ ● Flashpoint Insurance: for damages in alternate timelines

↳ ● offers 2 different Gotham plans. (1) The Batman Plan; the Batman Plan has a Reckless Robin extension (only covers current Robin/s. does not cover former Robins). (2) The Bat-Family Plan (assumedly covers former Robins)

↳ ● Crisis Coverage: is a little different from Flashpoint coverage (is not explained how lol)

↳ ● Green Arrow coverage

↳ ● Bird Insurance: coverage for bird-themed superheroes, not actual birds 

↳ ● Multi-Verse Insurance: "No, sir, if a alternate universe version of you has multi-verse insurance, it does mean you are also insured."

↳ ● has Home Insurance and Buisness Insurance ("Uh, let me check. Hey, boss, are lairs covered under home insurance or buisness insurance?")

↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "Okay, well, answer me this: did Superman punch your wall or did he get flown through your wall as the result of a punch?" (later) "No, you see, you're covered for him punching your wall. Not being punched through your wall." ■ "How many times do I need to tell you, Cassandra? We stopped covering sky beams last year after the Zod attack." ■ "Did you get punched by a Robin or by a former Robin? 'Cause you have the Batman plan, and that only covers one of those." ■ "What do you mean the city is just gone? What does that mea--?!" ■ "Yes, but do you have proof your house was still there before Coast City was destroyed?" ■ "Can you confirm that it was a bat-arang that hit you?" ■ "Okay, but which Superboy? Yes, it's important!" ■ "Okay, but did you get the license plate number? I don't care if it was the Bat-Mobile! Yes or no?" ■ "Okay, but which color arrow were you attacked by? No, it is important, you only have Green Arrow coverage." ■ "M'am-- M'am! The premiums are lower in Iowa than Metropolis because it's Metropolis."

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★★★ VITRIOL VINDICATIONS: VILLAINS INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")

● "Vitriol Vindications: verifying villainous violations, how may I help you?"

● is insurance coverage for supervillain (for damages done to them by superheroes) (does not cover Goon Union violation claims)

● is down the street from Superb Prowers: Superhero Insurance

● knows supervillains' civillian identities

● hotline workers can curse on the phone (eg. "I'm sorry, sir, but if you didn't want food poisoning then why in the hell did you eat a Joker Fish in the first place?")

↳ also, they can smoke while on the job

● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). spoke with a gravely voice, assumedly from smoking as he smokes at work (what i assume is a cigarette anyway? or a cigar? it could also be a joint, i got no clue), and also an accent (im not good at identifying accents, idk from where exactly, it sounded vaguely the East Coast variety of American). appearance of said character includes a brown jacket with sherpa lining over a black shirt, had gray pants on. (my hc for name: Sol Abagnale. the Abagnale part is in reference after "Frank Abagnale Jr", a real life white-collar criminal who has a famous film as well as semi-famous musical under the title "Catch Me If You Can" (he also kind of inspired the show "White-Collar" in the sense of how the irl Abagnale became an expert consolutant helping catch other criminals. he has recorded lectures and everything, his analytical work is insane) where one of his most routine crimes was conning banks and insurance and whatnot, and also the IRS caught his dad (Frank Senior) who Junior learned a lot of his crimes from. feels fitting. the first name has to do with me kind of fudging the name "Saul" into a more unisex phonetic variant, "Sol" (which, according to BehindTheName.com, the Jewish version of "Sol" is masculine and the Spanish+Portugeese version of "Sol" is feminine, so "Sol" itself is unisex enough for me. though, technically Saul and Sol are not related, they do SOUND very similar which is the sticking point for me), in tribute to Saul Goodman of "Breaking Bad"/"Better Call Saul" fame who did a lot of insurance fraud as a lawyer. so my pitch is combining the name of two white-collar criminals, yeah, what can i say, i love intertextual references)

↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable here on whether or not if it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and whatnot

↳ workers wear a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.

● Insurances:

↳ ● Life insurance

↳ ● Anti-Life insurance: "M'am, I'm sorry but death by Parademons is nor covered under the Anti-Life insurance plan." (which? i assume?? is a censored version of a Death insurance plan? idk anything about insurance vocabularly terms)

↳ ● Discrimination in the workplace? (im surprised that isn't Goonion paperwork, idk) ("Well, if you didn't want discrimination in the workplace, then you shouldn't have been a goon for Gorilla Grodd.")

↳ ● the Two-Face Policy ("While I cannot exactly stop you from getting the Two-Face policy, I will warn you that coverage there is pretty 50/50." → "I'm sorry, I had to, it was right there.")

↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "No, Mr. Cobblepot, you cannot put life insurance policy on your penguins if you are the ones who strapped bombs to them." ■ "What do you mean your contract is in the form of a riddle?"

↳ also not a type of insurance per sey but idk what this is but i feel like i should note it down: "Oh, no, you'd be surprised: the Joker actually offers an incredible dental plan."

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★★★ EVIL LLP: VILLIANOUS ACCOUNTING (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if such exists)

● "Evil LLP: villainous accounting, how may I help you?"

● calls supervillains both by their civillian names and their villain names, but WAY moreso calls them by their villain names

● fun fact: it is a fandom joke that the Joker does not mess with the IRS (thepandaredd theorizes it is because the Joker doesn't want to end up like Al Capone and get put in actual-"you can't plead insanity this time"-prison), so Joker would be diligent about tax season (and hate it) and contacting his accountant (and hate that too), neato

● people working the hotline can curse to the customers

● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). said character's appearance includes having worn glasses as well as a maroon-purpleish button-up, long-sleeve and with gray pants. drinks out of a red, tall drinkwear (no lid, no straw, not a tumbler) which is an odd enough detail i thought i would mention it (maybe he works remote and it is their kitchenware? maybe the Evil LLP office just has that type of kitchenware? idk. i know its just thepandaredd's kitchenware and isn't meant to be scrutinized, but i am detail-oriented and have AuDHD, let me live). (hc name: Brooklyn Kennedy Collector. because i recenrly found out Collector is a real surname and that feels fitting for an accountant. also, i think "The Collector" is a kind of cool villain allias? maybe this accountant was a taxes-related villain before pivoting? idk, probably not, but what i do really like is the idea of experienced villains scaring newbies with boogeyman stories of "The Collector" and about not paying your taxes on time as a way of hazing them before their first appointment with this specific character from Evil LLP who is like "What? No? Turbotax is way scarier than me, the fuck". as for Brooklyn, it is unisex, literally means "broken land" which feels fitting for a neutral person many territorial villains go to, as in the literal "groundbreaking" ceremony. but also Brooklyn can lead to the nickname "Brookie" which i think would be funny for this character to be like "...Only my [insert loved one here. eg: signicant other, sibling, etc] can get away with calling me that" when villains inevitably make Brookie The Bookie jokes. and i usually don't add middle-names to my hc names bc i usually only do middle-names if the culture the character is from has a middle-name as part of its naming conventions. but i gave this hc name one because "Brooklyn Collector" does not sound quiet like a real person's name, to me. but if you told me i went to school with a "Brooklyn Kennedy Collector" then that sounds vaguely familar and id be like "Oh? Remind me who they are?" rather than "What? We did?" with disbelief in my tone. i did look up what the name Kennedy means tho, on my beloved BehindTheName search-engine, which means either "armored head" (cool!) or "mishappen head" (rude!) which i think encompasses the level of mixed sanity-and-insanity you have to have in order to be villain's accountant lol)

↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable in case it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and so on

↳ workers wears a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.

● tax account comments and questions since i know next to nothing of tax info and will likely need this as reference if i ever include this company: "Joker, I need your tax returns yesterday. What the fuck do you mean you haven't filed them?" ■ "Black Manta, it says here you have an expense for the League of Villainous Chimney Sweepers, what the fuc--" ■ "So let me make sure I am understanding this correctly. You are going to hire a bunch of people to hide trophies all throughout the city? With what fucking money, Nigma?" ■ "Penny-Pincher, if you pay me again by mailing me a literal bag of fucking pennies, I will find you." ■ "Joker, I just got a call from the Goonion that you haven't been paying your workers? ...No, not killing them is not a form of legal tender!" ■ "Wait a minute, you buy all the penguins? Who is selling you that many penguins?! I thought you just found them!" ■ "Wait, Bizzaro, do you have the check or not? I don't understand!" ■ "Well, don't come crying to me when VOSCA gets on your ass. Yes, I said 'VOSCA': Villainous OSCA, keep up!" (i assume this was a continuation of the last line to the Joker, it feels implied, but idk) ■ "How do none of you understand how money works?!"

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★★★ THE FIRST UNIVERSAL HENCHMAN'S UNION (aka: THE GOONION, or sometimes THE GOON UNION) (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if henchman union exists there of if the Goonion is implied to also be there) (i have shockingly little info on this considering how often it is brought up. huh. NOTE TO SELF: to rewatch some of thepandaredd's youtube compilation videos to see if im missing anything)

● Their motto: "Facere Malum Stercore Tuto" which is Latin for "Do bad shit safely"

↳ according to thepandaredd's merch: "Established in 2000"? i feel like that is a joke or reference i am missing, which makes me unsure of how literally to take it. i would've assumed it was older. i mean. i guess it technically could have been? like, in the sense that these guys are labeled the "First Universal Goonion" which implies maybe some villains had their own union of goons (definitely not Joker considering his implied VOSCA violations, above, under Evil LLP's section, still within the "Associations" heading) before it became a overall branching DC thing? which, if so, i do not envy the fuckers who had to unionize the Joker or Lexcorp goons, they probably did some union-busting, esp pre-2000 if that as the year the Goonion became universal in that sense, jfc. (edit of note: i have found the Todd The Goon Rep skit within the 2021 July compilation video, i am definitely correct about Lexcorp union-busting at least ■ edit of note ×2: i aM FULLY CORRECT. 2024 March 1st (or the compilation due to come out after March is over, since it is still March as of editing this docket) has a skit with Bill The Henchman doing work-trips with long flights for the Joker. and the Joker says "Hahaha, [The Goonion] is not a real thing!" and "Just to remind you, if I see you peddling that Goonion garbage all over that Comic-con, I swear to god, I will come to your house and rip those femurs out myself". so the Joker has dismissively resentful anti-Goonion opinions to the point that would imply he would love to union-bust/ignore it.) (or maybe "universal" is a reference to "cross-fandoms/brands"? because there is a Cobra Command, "G.I. Joe" joke pre-Bill-reboot (look at Bill The Henchman's section below, under the "People" heading)? which their most famous and long-running comic form is with Marvel Comics (though they also had a run with DC Comics for two individual issues, as well as Devil's Due, IDW Publishing, Custom Comics, and more). but, as aforementioned: idk how the reboot plays into that, and also idk how seriously i should take that since it was a gag for a one-off skit. idk...) (edit: wait, i forgot Marvel Comics also has The Solomon Institute For The Criminally Insane (also, and more popularly, known as: The Taskmaster's Academy), which is a trade-school where Anthony Masters (Taskmaster) teaches henchmen how to hench and get them a type of goon-certification as per the nature of trade-school. which, fun fact, the students there are called "Taskmaster's Acolytes", and originally this school started as a front? but then Taskmater went "actually, I have found my passion" which is aw, so sweet, wish it wasn't about murder and crime. but yeah, i checked the wiki because i couldn't remember if we ever saw anyone's certificate and, apparently, graduating meant you were now cleared for super-villany. so while youre there, you're a henchman. when you graduate, you're a villain. wild. though still not a henchman union, like, irl, we have both "places to get a teaching certification" and also a "union for teachers". this is just adjacent additional item to Marvel's henchmen situation, not an equivalent to the Goonion if that makes sense. so. uh, there is also that in the middle of this "is the Goonion omniuniversal?" spiral i am in, and that is Marvel-only as far as i am aware. still worth mentioning tho)

● there's possibly member-training? assumedly it is villain specific training, as you get hired then trained bc we have seen that before (evidence: (1) a skit within this compilation where a newbie was given the run-down working to the Joker about the dress-code and "just take the fall" if Batman/Robin come (Bill the Henchman was in the background, off-screen), and (2) another skit from this compilation where Bill The Henchman himself was translating the meanings to the various Bat-fam symbols to a newbie goon and the Red Hood interrupted) but maybe it is Goonion overall-villain's-henchman training, i have no clue. but in a skit (from 2021 October) where a Mr. Freeze goon (actually is the Red Hood faking being a goon the whole time? or knocked said goon out and took their place? unclear) was being given shit by Bill for not wearing a mask during COVID (more on the Goonion's opinion on COVID face-masks below in a few bullet-points) came back with a Cobra helmet that said goon (The Red Hood) had trouble taking off, Bill grumbled "How the fuck did you make it out of training?" before helping (could be referring to Cobra training or Goonion? again, idk)

↳ which there are Bat-fam symbol code btw, idk if that skit's code was for all goons or just that specific villain's workplace: Yellow circle = Bruce Wayne (Batman) is in a good mood, will probably let you keep knee-caps □ No yellow circle, just a black bat = you're probably going to lose a couple of bones from Batman (idk if that is accurate post Bill the Henchman's reboot. anyway.) ■ Any variation of a red bat, spikey or otherwise = don't bother screaming, gunshots will be heard and that is enough warning. Likely is Kate Kane (Batwoman) who does not have a no-gun rule. could also be Jason Todd (Red Hood) who also doesn't have a no-gun rule. also, sometimes the Red Hood has a red V-mask, and sometimes Red Hood's design is closer to a red bird design on his chest. ■ Blue bird or blue V-symbol = Dick Grayson (Nightwing) will give you a couple bruises and send you home ■ Yellow bat = probably be worried. □ Red hair (Barbara Gordon (Batgirl → Oracle)), probably going to get the shit kicked out of you, same as No-yellow-circle Batman. □ No hair and no mouth (Cassandra Cain (Batgirl → Orphan)), same rules as red bat, you will probably dead. □ Blonde hair (Stephanie Brown (Robin, Batgirl → Spoiler)), "you can kill that one". which. that is so foul, Jay Morton, what the fuck lol □ "[Generally,] The yellow bat follows the R-rule." ■ The R-rule = "Every single Robin has their own fucking deal." □ If the R is blocky = probably not going to get beat up too bad, unless the kid is very mad, then you might get thrown off a roof. (definitely Jason Todd (Robin → The Red Hood), maybe also Dick Grayson (Robin → Nightwing). i know Jason Todd threw a domestic abuser off a roof and claimed the guy "fell". idk if Dick ever did similar) □ if it is a Spikey R with no yellow circle = Tim Drake (Robin → Red Robin) get hit in the face with a metal pole a few times. same for if it is a Yellow Bird, Tim Drake (Red Robin) will just be hitting you harder □ if the R has just one spike = you will likely die bc Damian Wayne (Robin) has a sword. Red Hood also has a sword, but only sometimes, it's mainly Damian's thing ■ idk why i would ever need this for a fic or something but now i fucking got it just in case, i guess. glad that hypotheical-me won't have to search for this. but yeah, idk if this system is Goonion stuff or a specific villain or just something Gotham-henchmen set up independently, but ill put it here for lack of anywhere better

↳ Bill the Henchman said to Todd His Friend From High School that "it's a really rough career to get into, just to let you know. There's a ton of onboarding processes, super-villains all have their own hiring things, there's the Goonion that you got to sign up for just by obligation."

● Goonion buildings don't allow alcohol in their facilities (Bill took a break in one such building, an unnamed co-worker interupted his break and asked for a drink, and Bill said there was no alcohol here for that reason. idk how the logistics work on if villain buildings (or safehouses) have to be Goonion, if goons prefer to take breaks in a seperate Goonion building in which case does the commute count as part of their break, is this just the overall building similar to a temp agency building in which case why was Bill taking a break in one...? cool detail in theory, very confusing in application to someone as ignorant in temp-work as me). this was mentioned in the Man-Bat skit within 2021 November's compilation

↳ very likely works often with VOSCA (Villainous OSCA, was brought up in Evil LLP's section above, still under the "Associations" heading) ■ also has some sort of connection to Superb Prowers (section is above, still within the "Associations" heading) since their insurance covered Bill's loss of bones

● Works all over the country, sending goons on assignment as needed and where and with what uniforms and etc

● Mask mandates (for COVID) - report to the Goonion for not wearing one. even villain henchmen (esp if their villain is an evil scientist) gotta stay safe ✌️ (Bill the Henchman is esp big on that they protect each other in this way)

● Goons in the union get breaks (as in, like 30 min break, lunch break, etc)

● i assume there is some protection for long-distance assignments? like, Bill the Henchman (Bill's section is below, under the "People" heading) got sent on a 16-hour flight by the Joker to give Bane a pie and another flight to go to Comic-Con. i assume there was financial compensation (both in the sense of a wage increase for the inconvenience, as i know a few jobs get that (many more... don't, but hey, maybe the Goonion got it) because the idea of "your shift hours" also becomes messier though that is more likely if Bill is paid hourly; as well as not paying for your own plane ticket or Comic-con ticket in these examples) and other such work-travel-trips protections (evidentally, there is no protection for how much buffer-time between said trips there has to be, as Bill was sent to Comic-con immediately after the pie but still)

● confirmed members: Bill the Professional Henchman (look at Bill's section in "People" for his co-workers. i don't know which ones are in the union and which ones are out of union. he is very big on the Goonion and helping each other and whatnot, carries merch and everything, biggest advocate, love that for him) ■ Alex (pronouns unknown. was mentioned in Todd the Goonion Rep's skit as a confirmed Goonion member, working as a Bane henchman who is a victim of wage-theft and not-up-to-code company housing via pit/sewers. assumedly is not the same Alex that Ted works with (most of the info on this Ted section's can be found below, under the "People" heading. bc, yeah, for one thing, that Alex lives in a duplex and not in the pits/sewers). Alex wears a beige-white sleeveless torn up t-shirt with a black beanie. will not be getting their own section as this is all i know about Alex)

↳ note: members have ID badges (example of Bill's is in Bill The Henchman's character section)

● confirmed workers: Todd The Goonion Rep (look at that Todd's section down below, under "People". also, technically Todd's job-title is much more formal title of "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchmen's Union" but Goonion Rep is snappier); maybe/maybe not confused with Todd Andrews (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, Superb Powers, is above, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") because i guess all these Todds could be the same guy, but i assume they are not, but you can feel free to hc them as such

↳ Todd The Goonion Rep's outfit is in their section, which is notable here because it could arguably be following the company's dress-code, be their employees' uniform, and so on. assumedly, since members have ID badges, so should Todd The Goonion Rep, thepandaredd just hasn't had the prop yet? fair lmao

↳ not "competition" but definitely confirmed people to not be on the workers' side: Alan (who is a Lexcorp union-buster (lawyer?) person in sunglasses, black suit with black button-up and gold tie. pronouns unknown) ■ "Matches" Malone(?) (which is a DC-canon undercover-alter-ego of Bruce Wayne (Batman) when he wants to try to submerge himself in the crime world)

● their workers can curse on-call (eg. "Oh, yeah, to be perfectly candid: I hear some fucking wild stories.")

● their workers (and also their members? i think?? p sure that is a yes) tend to call villains by their villain-name rather than their civilian-name

● not technically "Goonion info" but is important stuff that have implications about how the place is run (all said in the Todd The Goonion Rep skit): "Riddler, how many times do I need to fucking tell you that: if you are going to use goons as part of your traps, you need to have multiple signed consent forms by both them, a witness, and yourself beforehand?" ■ "As the traveling representative of the Goonion, my job is to travel around the country, talking to various goons and henchmen of both major and minor super-villains, just to make sure they are being both treated fairly and safely within the workplace. Which, honestly, they, uh, they very rarely are." ■ Todd: "So, Alex, it says here that you are a Bane henchmen. However, I can't seem to find any wages listed. So, what does the pay for that look like?" / Alex: "Of course I don't have wages listed, we don't get paid. ...Wait, are we supposed to be getting paid?" / Todd: "Mmhm. I see. I also can't seem to find an address." / Alex: "Oh, I was thinking you were going to ask about that. We all kind of live communally in a pit, or sometimes the sewer." / Todd: "Do you know if this pit is up to code?" / Alex: "I mean, yeah, it's a fine pit. It's probably up to code. We get cable and everything. But, uh, now that you mention it: we do shit in buckets and live in cells, so I'm not particularly sure." / Todd: "Oh, that is definitely a violation of some kind." ■ Todd: "Who the fuck steals both of someone's femurs?" / Bill the Professional Henchmen: "Oh, yeah, you think that's bad? I should tell you about where his kid cut my fucking hand off." / Todd: "His kid did what?!" ■ "Y'know, contrary to popular belief: crime pays very, very well. Like, shit, what do you think, like, 90% of Gotham's economy is? It's just that often times you need to enforce that the workers are actually going to see the fruits of that labor." ■ Todd: "(Groaningly sighs) Hello, Alan." / Alan: "Hello, Todd." / Todd: "Let me guess, you're here on behalf of Lexcorp again to try to break up the union." / Alan: "Now, Todd, you know that we at Lexcorp are not against unions. We simply believe they are detrimental to our bottom-lin— uh, I mean, our overall workforce. And, in fact, I am actually here to join your union. For I think that I too deserve equal safety and pay and rights." / Todd: "Buddy, I work with professional criminals on a daily basis. I can see that you are wearing a wire." / Alan: "Now, how could you say such a... silly... thing? Abort, abort, I need to get out of here." / Todd: "If you just joined, you wouldn't have to piss in bottles anymore!" / Alan: "The official statement of Lexcorp is that we do not, in fact, have to do that!" ■ "If you would like to support your local community of contract criminals, goons, and henchmen: we do have t-shirts available. And, as the motto always says: do bad shit, safely." ■

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★★★ VILLAINS OF (HERO) SUPPORT GROUP (exists for DC and Marvel, created by thepandaredd. i definitely do not need to include this, but i thought it would be funnier if i did)

● there is one for Captain America (p safe to assume it is Steve Rogers' Captain America. Marvel) and one for Superman (p safe to assume it is Clark Kent's Superman. DC) so far. the therapist in charge of either is unnamed, but both have glasses and button-ups (tho the Superman one came in late after getting black-out drunk and taking a nap, and came in with a black t-shirt)

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----------------- people ----------------

★★★ TODD ANDREWS (DC Comics OC)

● unknown pronouns

● works hotline for the insurance company called Superb Prowers (listed above under "Associations"). spoke will Bill The Professional Henchman to help him with his insurance over the phone for his bone-loss claim

● appearance: wears glasses. Wore a white button-up long-sleeve in one video, wore a black t-shirt in one video, wore a black long-sleeve in a third video; every time had black pants(? or at least dark. may be sweatpants, which fair). Plays with a pen a lot (in one video, i think it is a capped pen; in another video it is, i think, a clicky pen which makes Todd slowly and silently clicks at one point while speaking/listening to a call. and i say "plays with" and what i mean is "has it in Todd's hand, between their fingers" a lot. i assumed Todd uses it like a fidget to spin or tap Todd's own chin with, but that is not seen; but Todd slowly + silently clicking the clicky variety is seen. this is too much overexplanation about a fucking pen)

↳ wears a headset with microphone attachment for work. not wireless. sits in a swivel chair with arms at work

● i assume this Todd Andrews is not the same Todd that Bill The Henchman went to high school with. (also, is definitely not the Tood The Goonion Rep) more on why i think that in Todd-(assumedly-not-Andrews)'s (as well as Todd-of-the-Goonion's) section below, is still within the "People" section

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★★★ "THE GUY" (DC Comics OC)

↳ as in "Alfred, call the guy"

● unknown name. confirmed to go by he/him pronouns

● adoption social worker agent, maybe insurance agent? probably, i assume. nothing is confirmed, which is the point

● no further specific details known. i will never make hcs about this character; he is supposed to be a mystery

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★★★ KEVIN (their first Marvel OC! that's rare for thepandaredd! yay!)

● unknown surname, unknown pronouns.

● was in exactly one skit about Marvel, which is unusual for thepandaredd, almost everybody else is a DC Comics OC

● designed the Sentinels' visually (The Sentinel Project are the giant robots who hunt mutants in X-Men). im ngl, i think thepandaredd forgot Bolivar Trask specifically already exists lol but maybe not, as thepandaredd did remember to include the headline "Trask Industries (mid 60s)" in the tiktok. hey! maybe Trask did the idea and/or engineering and hired Kevin as an artist, or maybe Trask pitched the idea after Kevin sold him on it and it's like a "Steve Jobs and all the unnamed workers who came up with the iPhone ideas" scenario (Kevin did at one point say "The President loved it", so Bolivar Trask could be President, sure), idk, i only know of Trask vaguely from the 90s "X-Men: The Animated Series" show i watched as a toddler and from the "X-Men: Days of Future Past" movie i watched a decade ago in theaters, maybe i'm the one forgetting shit, i dont pay attention to what is the generally accepted Bolivar Trask lore bc i dont care about the character, personally. Peter Dinklage is cool tho

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★★★ BILL (THE PROFESSIONAL HENCHMAN) (DC Comics OC)

info that is unknown bc of The Reboot Agent stuff (the video of which i am only linking once and it is here) is [[[ bracketed ]]] already but i will also make it [[[ green ]]] inside the brackets for your guys' convenience

● he/him, unknown surname. (hc full name: William "Bill" Bail. i have a whole scene planned for Bill attempting to be vulnerable by giving an OC of mine his surname as a sign of trust, as he doesn't do that as a way of protecting his relatives/identity from the villains that employ him, followed by my OC fully not believing his surname is real and busting Bill's chops about it. it works for my needs, and i personally dont agree with the handful of fans i see that hc his surname should be Hench or Henchman though i do love their energy, that is a v funny joke. i just wanted a different variety of a jokey surname. uh, but, yeah! Bail is a real surname, and the surname itself is actually a diminutive of "bailiff". as in the job. which a bailiff is a officer of the court who keeps order and "looks after prisoners" (ie. "A bailiff is a manager, overseer or custodian – a legal officer to whom some degree of authority or jurisdiction is given. Bailiffs are of various kinds and their offices and duties vary greatly.") which is all a vast simplification of bailiffs but i think it is a cute simplification for Bill's character specifically)

● confirmed to have worked runs with Joker, Two-Face, Black Mask, Penguin, Mr Freeze, Riddler (and also maybe Lex Luthor? it is implied due to how much Bill knows about Lexcorp working conditions, and also the Jimmy Olsen stuff as mentioned below)

↳ idk if this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ an unnamed co-worker worked at Cobra Commander (Cobra Headquarters in Springfield) earlier that week, is one of the places the Goonion sends people. Bill maybe has, maybe has not been there? idk, he seemed to know about how to take the helmet off but maybe Bill just saw the latch. hard to tell when the whole dialogue is "There's a latch" when he's already looking at the helmet. i assume no, Bill has not worked for Cobra, because he said "there's a latch" so late in the skit and also from what he said "Wait, so that's another villain's henchman?! That's even worse!" so he didn't know the uniform(?) which implies he didn't work there (which is odd bc he also said "Yes, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable to just have in your car?! Why do you even have that?!" so he recognized it. i guess he just thought it was cosplay instead of another henchman uniform, idk). you could make an argument either way, i guess, hc away lol ]]]

↳ answers phonecalls as "You got Bill."

↳ texts his bosses stuff like "On it, boss."/"Yes, sir. You got it, boss."/"On my way. Will do, boss."/"Yes, sir. On it, boss."/"Okay, boss. Be back soon." even though he'd rather yell (this is mainly @Joker)

↳ (this happened post-reboot) knows Jimmy Olsen well enough that Jimmy recognizes him on sight alone; meaning he has very fucking likely also worked for Metropolis villains (such as but not limited to Lex Luthor) and has faced Superman often

● appearance: generally always wears a black ball-cap hat (didn't use to way back but it is a thing by now), a necklace tucked into his shirt (i cant tell what his necklace is. is it a sparkplug necklace? → edit: NOPE. it's from 2022 January's PO Box Unboxing, it's "Skele-Gro: Bone Regenerator". it's a tube of amber-yellow liquid, with a pale yellow label, on a silver chain, with a silver skull-and-crossbones charm). he dresses in all black most of the time. generally wears t-shirts or long-sleeves, usually of the monochromatic variety (almost always a gray/black plain shirt with no graphic, except for in "How the Bat Boy treat henchmen" skit where he wore a few different shirts, and the skit with him and the 16 hour flight stuff where he wore thepandaredd's Lord Deathman merch shirt) (the red-gray henley Bill wore in his first ever tiktok appearance as the first goon ever beat up by a Robin? is generally ignored, hence the strike-through here). and sometimes wears a black jacket (which, generally, is a black denim jacket). does possess Goonion merch.

↳ optional-to-read waffling about the Skele-grow necklace: further confirmation of this indeed being necklace that Bill wears is in this 2022 July compilation, where Bill forgot to tuck his necklace into his shirt and you can see the amber-gold Skele-Grow bottle and the teeny skull-and-crossbones charm. more importantly, you can also see it in the September 2022 compilation, which is the one that features Bill getting shot by Alfred Pennyworth which then leads him into the reboot event in April 2023 compilation where he doesn't have a necklace? but that could be just a prop error (either in the sense "it is there, it just accidentally was hidden from the camera by being tucked into the shirt and whatnot" or in the sense that "it was forgotten on accident but was meant to be there"). plus the Instagram post mentioned a few bullet points down says Bill still has a necklace. i just dont know if it is the same one or not. i, personally, see the necklace as an extension or representation of Bill's connection with his audience and creator, and therefore connected to his Fourth Wall Breaks and everything Madoka-Magic-y i mention in a later bullet-point within Bill's section. so i will be very interested to see if this necklace is lost or not (to simplify his rebooted form additionally in the sense of less bone loss, maybe even no more Fourth Wall breaks? idk, maybe. the Agent Of The Reboot was Fourth Wall breaking a lot and Bill was confused, maybe it was out of overwhelmed panic but all those references went over Bill's head. there wasn't any "You can see them too?!" or anything. but who knows! could just be a prop error. maybe when the instagram post listed in lower bullet-point within this section talked about "a necklace always tucked into his shirt", it about the Skele-grow necklace, maybe it was about a wholly new necklace, whooo knowwwss ...i personally would like to know tho, so i do hope thepandaredd does another untucked-necklace Bill video so i can see if it Bill is still wearing a Skele-grow necklace or is it a new necklace)

↳ mid-reboot/post-reboot version has a white streak in his hair, confirmed in the tiktok Agent Reboot video itself idk the video's title

↳ in the Agent Reboot video, Bill also freaks out about how his hat has changed. which the hat he wore when Alfred Pennyworth shot him for breaking in to get Lord Deathman was a plain, all black baseball cap. and mid-reboot freak-out looks like an identically plain, all black baseball cap (to me, anyway). maybe that was a gag that went over my head. maybe it was a sentiment about how well-cared for Bill's things are that he would notice someone switching out his hat for an identical one like it. idk, to my inexperienced eye, it looks like the same hat lol

↳ optional aspect of appearance: leg-braces as "femur transplants are not fool-proof".

↳ note: most of this info comes from thepandaredd's 25 February 2024 instagram post (+ the leg-braces bit was posted by thepandaredd in that post's comment section) unless otherwise stated

↳ also, in the June 2022 compilation there is a PO Box Unboxing, an unnamed fan gave Bill his own Goonion badge. so that is also part of Bill's props assumedly. unlike most of the other badges we have seen in thepandaredd (vertical), the Goonion badge is the only horizontal one which makes me specifically happy bc i prefer horizontal badges. anyway. the info on it, i cannot read because it is too pixelated even at youtube's highest resolution at 2160p, alas. but thepandaredd reads out some of its info says the following: "His height has a little asterisk next to it saying his height was 6'3" before his femurs removed and now he is back to 6'1". Which is, oh my god, I love that. Also, his hair is just listed as 'Yes' and his eyes are listed as 'Currently two'; this is, this is fucking genius." so. there is that lmao i love the badge

● Injuries sustained:

↳ idk how much of this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ lost his bones before (eg. all the bones in his legs more than once. was covered by the Goonion tho. said bones are kept in a box on a bookshelf openly labeled "Spare Bones" apparently as uncovered when Bill broke into Wayne Manor to free Lord Deathman, though it is unconfirmed if Bill took any of the bones he had found and how many in the box were his or if the box was labeled that as a joke but actually contained something else). lost his femur x2 in one year, had to go in surgery both times. shot in both kneecaps by Red Hood. was put on fire "back in the early days" by Red Hood. generally been beat up by the Batfam weapons (eg. Tim Drake's bo-staff to Bill's legs). has been dropped off a roof by Batman (breaks legs, cops come get you). ]]] okay, instagram post by thepandaredd in 25 February 2024 confirms the femur replacements happened, as an optional thing Bill can wear is leg-braces since "femur transplants aren't fool-proof"

↳ idk if this is still true bc reboot [[[ note for age: Bill was The First Goon to ever get beat up by a 10 year-old Robin (assumedly Dick Grayson). i wouldnt be surprised if this was noncanonical because then it means Bill is a minimum of 6+, 8+ years older than 10 year-old Dick Grayson (Nightwing) (therefore making Bill 16, 18 years old when he was beat up, at minimum)? more likely is considered "an adult" in comparison to said Robin's then-age, so i'd go higher than 8 years older than a 10 year-old. idk how old Bill canonically is, but if it differs with that information then this would be noncanonical ]]] [[[ (also beat said Robin (again, safe to assume Dick Grayson) in second meeting, and Batman then beat Bill the fuck up and "did unspeakable things to my bones" so assumedly that was the first time Bill got his bones stolen) ]]]

↳ [[[ "Alfred, Get The Guy" and Other Probably-Non-Canonical Skits: has been "turned off" (stopped fucking existing for a sec). i seriously doubt that was ever canon for Bill, but the reboot happened so i assume the reboot doubly-so kills this ]]]

↳ idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ chronic issue: lost ability to feel temperature bc of fire (a Robin set him on fire? unclear which one, implied lots of time has passed so unlikely to be Damian Wayne) ]]]

↳ also a chronic issue: it's implied in one of the Lord Deathman videos (when Bill is going to break out Lord Deathman from the Wayne Manor as per Joker's request. the following occurs right before Bill texts the Joker) that Bill has tinnitus. i assume that is still true post-reboot because it is a small enough chronic injury, it makes sense, sure. but yeah, we hear the "ears ringing" sound during a scene where Bill has laid down to rest and relax before he looks at his phone

↳ can (sometimes? always? idk) speak Fourth Wall, likely because of a side-effect of how many times he has been hit in the head. i assume this still works in spite of the reboot, since Bill was able to, not only talk to the Reboot Agent, but very importantly: have the ability to have woken up mid-reboot. both of those things are likely related to this Fourth Wall Breaking ability. however, also, the Agent kept saying Fourth Wall breaks and Bill did not have a "You can see them too?!" reaction, but rather a very confused and overwhelmed panic reaction where he did not seem to get the references. so maybe he has now lost the ability. i have no idea

↳ my hc add-on as to why Bill was enabled to wake up mid-reboot: do you remember seeing just all of "Madoka Magica"? spoilers for that incoming (or you at least have seen Danny Motta's reaction series to it on youtube, assuming if you're like me and that show has triggers you don't want to risk potentially triggering yourself by watching the show but. like. you do want to know the events, impact, and pop-culture references) where Homura's love for Madoka to keep jumping into timelines to try to save her is singularly what ends up making Madoka the chosen one? because she was loved to that point? that even the universe took notice of her and claimed her as its prodigal child, because the universe reflects what we (in this cause: Homura specifically) puts into it? yeah, i hc that's Bill and this audience. that he just was likely some nameless goon, like a lot of thepandaredd OCs, but because fans (and thepandaredd) loved Bill so much, they took this throwaway skit character mid-overall-creation and gave Bill life where life was intended for him to be miscellaneous. hell, Bill even wears a Skele-Gro necklace from a fan in a PO Box Unboxing video that thepandaredd did a short skit mid-PO-Box-video of Bill receiving (at least i assume that is what he is wearing, he does keep it under his shirt). Bill became important enough to even be rebooted, much less wake up mid-reboot, because of how much he is loved. it's arguably why he has some on/off low-level Fourth Wall breaks too (we don't see that consistently be a thing for other goons). maybe im getting a little too Grant Morrison's "Animal Man" or, hell, even just fucking "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams. because Bill's plot is still overall (to steal a line from Jo O'Connor's "Mind Blind"* game tag-line:) "A Story Where You Are NOT The Chosen One!" in a world of Supermans and billionaires and other lucky and not-so-lucky bastards. but still. the love is there, and it is important; and maybe it doesn't make Bill's life better, but it matters that it is still there. but i digress [ *: and bc i fucking love that game, here is the link to the free demo version of Mind Blind. go to Jo's patreon if you want more after the demo]

● confirmed co-workers: idk bc reboot [[[ Scott (unknown pronouns. was beat up by Batman while Bill was "the first goon to be beat up by Robin"). that's all that is known about Scott, so Scott does not have an individual section. also, we never saw Scott, so we have no idea what Scott looks like ]]] ■ [[[ Ted (he/him pronouns. was name-dropped in "how the Bat Boys treat henchman" video. was thrown out of a 73-odd story building window by Man-Bat; is dead. that's all the info i have on Ted, so i won't give Ted his own OC section. we also have no idea what this Ted looks like, we never saw this Ted on-screen. the skit featuring him is in the November 2021 compilation) (edit: possibly/arguably more about Ted, post-reboot, is below. maybe could be same Ted character, maybe could be a totally different Ted. idk. but this Ted has their own section) ]]] ■ [[[ John (he/him pronouns. was probably never canon. but he was mentioned alongside Bill in a skit about an old goon complaining about younger people calling Terry by Batman in "Batman Beyond", where John was a goon that Batman smiled at and John is "still at Arkham to this day, he never recovered from that"). that's all that is known about John so no an individual section. also, we never saw John either so there are no notes about that either ]]] + a bunch of unnamed co-worker goons lol

● idk bc reboot [[[ had jury duty with Bruce Wayne. is meant to imply he was present for (and that this is based off of) the famous "Bruce admits he is Batman because of Jury Duty and everyone in the courtroom laughs" comic. said courtcase was about the unnamed goon Bill and Batman briefly interacted with that got shot in the crotch because said goon insisted on keeping a gun under their waistband ]]]

● calls his work "independent contractor" and "this freelance thing, working where I can" // when not hiding his job, has called himself a "hench for hire"

● lives at "Company housing" // does indeed live in Gotham, is occasionally shipped on assignment outside of Gotham by the Goonion per aforementioned implications (plus, explicitly has been sent out by his bosses. namely Joker, who once had Bill go on a 16 hour flight to send Bane a pie in-person that assumedly had a bomb in it as well as Joker having assigned Bill to attend Comic-con. (which was post-reboot, as a fun fact, so it definitely happened). but yeah, i assume the habit happens outside of that specific event in terms of both the Joker sending Bill out long-distances as well as other villains also sending him out to far-off places. just. for more grounded reasons than the Joker lol)

● idk bc reboot [[[ knows a Todd from high school (wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be into henching), tho Todd never graduated. nonetheless, Todd does have a section below ]]] 

● idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ tried to become a cop (G.C.P.D.) with a fake mustache, under tha name "Will. Just Will", even though 60% of Gotham cops are dirty + the good ones (eg Commissioner Gordon) knew Joker had only just broken out of jail and assembled a crew. Comissioner Gordon has personally arrested Bill over 50 times, he immediately knew it was Bill ]]]

● idk bc reboot [[[ was shown where the Bat Cave was by Cassandra when she made him help her dispose of Lord Deathman's corpse Joker made bc she had "tiny hands". he used this information to later free Lord Deathman. i would bet Bill knowing this info did not survive the reboot but who knows ]]]

● Bill chooses to work for villains instead of Wayne Industries because he sees billionaire Bruce Wayne as a villain too; and, between the two, he'd rather work with the villain with style (aka: Batman villains). this admission technically happened pre-reboot but i assume it is still his opinion

● idk bc reboot but i assume yes, still true, but just in case [[[ Bill is anti-smoking. does not seem to like it even if it's people smoking around him, will get all Disappointed Yet Sassy on other goons smoking. i assume this goes for cigarettes, cigars, joints etc; but the skit only implied cigarettes ]]]

● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill doesn't have kids. and assumedly from the following dialogue line, he doesn't ever want kids. there is an implication that he could have had kids, and idk if that was an implication as in (1) a significant other and him had a talk and likely mutually agreed to an abortion, (2) he and a significant other broke up because they wanted kids and he did not (and assumedly said partner had kids p soon afterwards with, like, their very next partner or so, hence why there would be a "could have been me" sentiment), (3) Bill had the oppurtunity to take a kid/some kids in as their guardian but chose not to (eg. as a step-parent, as in kinship care or kinship adoption, as a foster care or a foster child wanting to become Bill's kid, or maybe Bill got close with a kid in a non-foster setting and said kid wanted Bill to foster them/to be their legal guardian, idk), or (4) Bill almost donated to a sperm bank but decided not (or maybe he did donate and checked off the "never contact me" box and considers that still "not having kids". i personally think "no" to this bc i find the sperm bank system in the USA really corruptable and un-regulated, and i don't like that sperm-donor-kids don't have access to their sperm donor's medical records even in cases of medical emergencies/genetic disabilities or chronic illnesses that skipped the sperm donor (or that the sperm donor didn't realize they had, since so much of the sperm donation process is the fucking honor system and sometimes people get late diagnosed and sometimes certain genes activate later in life for a random reason) but did not skip the sperm-donor-kid/etc). in the Lord Deathman skit where Bill and Cassandra Cain (Oracle) bag up Lord Deathman. after she asks him for help carrying the bags, he grumbles "You have got to be fucking kidding me. You are the exact reason why I didn't have kids." before saying "I'll grab my coat!" with frustration. and, yes, all of this theorizing is because the verb-usage "didn't", as in "I could have had kids but I did not" (rather than using a line like "You're the reason I never want kids", where the diction would not have backstory implications), is very interesting to me lmao ]]]

↳ i personally have the hc that, as a connection of Bill's Fourth Wall breaks, similar to how the Joker knows he is in a comic and that the people he kills do not matter ("They're extras" to quote Bakugou), Bill knows he is in a comic and doesn't see much point in having kids. i also personally tie this in with his "Wayne Industries/Bruce Wayne is also a villain" belief in the sense that Bill either still has memories or else has unconscious premonitions from having been a nameless background character in "Bruce Wayne reconstruction stories that show how unstable Bruce/Batman is as a hero" comic stories. like. what is the point of having kids in that kind of enviroment where they could be Superman's "The Man Who Has Everything"-ified and you get rebooted and forced to forget/"forget" your own kids? then the verb usage of "didn't" could be "why I didn't have kids in this timeline". maybe he remembers or has vague premonitions abiut being a dad before (and maybe Bill didn't like being a dad? idk). i think it brings a new touch to his exhaustion in (the Lord Deathman video when Alfred Pennyworth shot him which featured) that scene of him having tinnitus, where he is just tired and sad and needs a break from all this

● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill can read ASL (American Sign Language), we know bc Cassandra Cain (Oracle. thepandaredd plays Cassandra as nonverbal) signed to him in the Lord Deathman skit where they bag up Lord Deathman and she makes him carry the bags because she signs to him "Help me. Tiny hands." ]]]

● i like what i said about Bill, comparing him to Mitchell Mayo in Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s section below (bc i do kind of see thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell as an OC. section is below, still under "People"), so i'm taking the hc-analysis and copy-pasting it here: (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)

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[[[ ★★★ TODD ??? ]]] (this one is Bill's high school classmate. DC Comics OC)

idk if this Todd exists because of the whole reboot thing (look at Bill The Henchman section under "People" + The Agent of the Reboot section under "Associations"), but sure

● unknown pronouns. unknown surname (hc full name: (bc i don't think he is Todd Andrews) my headcanon for Todd's surname is Turk. if you go to TV Tropes' page on "The Informant" trope, under the "Comic Books" section, you will read about a brief paragraph Marvel character named Turk who was an informant for Marvel vigilantees. and it's obvious in said paragraph why Marvel doesn't use him anymore lmao rip poor Turk to better differentiate this Todd from Todd Andrews, i also hc that Todd is a nickname for "Theodore" so it is slightly easier on my brain to differntiate all these "Todd"s lmao according to BehindTheName, "Theodore" just means "gift of god" which is sweet yet nonspecific. and its sister-site, Surname.BehindTheName,com said the surname "Turk" meant exactly what is on the tin, it means "Turk". fair. but, yeah, so my hc for this character's full name is Theodore "Todd" Turk. neato, alliteration, yay lmao)

● appearance: wore a black crewneck t-shirt and a wire for the G.C.P.D. also, has recieved a free Goonion black t-shirt from Bill to implement possibly into Todd's wardrobe

↳ as a bonus, the skit this Todd was in featured an G.C.P.D. Dispatch officer of an unknown name and unknown pronouns that wore glasses and a black crewneck t-shirt, and sat a a computer. there you go for anybody who wanted to ensure continuity with Todd and this unnamed G.C.P.D. connection

● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ was Bill The Henchman's classmate in high school. tho Todd never graduated high school ]]] more about Bill is above, albeit still under the "People" section

● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be looking into henching. idk if that means Todd works for the G.C.P.D. and was briefly undercover for this, or if Todd was asked to take a wire for a bit (by the G.C.P.D.) as a civillian. regardless, got a Goonion t-shirt from Bill ]]]

● assumedly not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers is above even that, under "Associations") or Todd The Goonion Rep (said Todd is below, still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above, under "Associations") as this Todd does not wear glasses and i think you need to have finished high school to be an accountant? maybe they are the same and Todd got a GED after, i have no idea, hc to your heart's extent, maybe Todd Andrews' glasses are just for blue-light, maybe Todd the Goonion Rep wears fake glasses, or maybe this Todd wears contacts who knows

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★★★ TODD (this one is the Goonion rep. DC Comics OC)

↳ technically, i have been calling this Todd by the wrong title kind of this whole time but i had to, i had to do it for the communicative clarity of consistency. because Todd's actual title is only colloquially "a Goonion Rep." as Todd's actual title is "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchman's Union". again, this is usually shortened colloquially to "Goonion Rep" but you get it, you get why i didn't call him that every time in the past, Goonion Rep is snappier and there's getting to quickly be too many Todds lmao

● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc full name: Thaddeus "Todd" Malloy. and, with that, i have p much run out of things "Todd" can be short for. luckily, Thaddeus kind of fits a union rep, as BehindTheName.com says it likely derived from the meaning "heart". that's cute. and esp for a Goonion rep, as BehindTheName also says "In the Gospel of Matthew, Thaddaeus is listed as one of the twelve apostles, though elsewhere in the New Testament his name is omitted and Jude's [aka another form of Judas' name, apparently] appears instead. It is likely that the two names refer to the same person". and im not nor have i ever been a Christian but goons and Judas assumedly fit together? yeah? i hope? anyway, i picked the surname Malloy because of the 1954 movie "On The Waterfront" which is about unions, mobs, and an ex-prize-fighter named Teddy Malloy. you can see the connection. i haven't seen it in so many years, i apologize if it is a bad movie to connect to, the plot-summary i read seemed fine enough and my chronic memory loss-riddled ass remembers if fondly enough even tho i was like... seven lol. but, i digress. i should also note that according to Surname.BehindTheName.com Malloy also has connections to both "noble, proud leader" and "faithful servant". huh! even more fitting!)

● appearance: wears glasses. wears a white button-up and a black tie

● works at The First Universal Henchman's Union, aka The Goonion (more on that organization above, under the "Associations" section)

● this is p safe to assume not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers section is above even that, under the "Associations" heading) or the Todd That is Bill's High School Friend (said Todd is above, though still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above even that too, under "Associations"). i explained in Todd That Is Bill's High School Friend's section some of why they might be different, might be the same, it's all up the hc, but im p confident they are all different characters all given the forename Todd, okay? okay lmao

● (@/thepandaredd, if you ever read this: i know you love Jason Todd, Jason is also my favorite in the Batfam (after Alfred, obviously, but you get it), and you have this many different Todd OCs is so fucking funny but also im begging you for other names in-between my laughs, please no more Todds lmao) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds. much love to you and yours ♡]

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★★★ DR. AARON MICHAELS (DC Comics OC)

● he/him pronouns

● Therapist at Akrham Asylum

↳ replacing an assumedly male (had he/him pronouns if nothing else) therapist that Joker seduced, much like the Joker also had done with Harley Quinn; they found out because the guy had downloaded videos on his desktop that were explict and graohic about clowns. he was fired and Dr. Aaron Michaels was hired

● calls patients by their civillian names (important contrast with Dr. Morton below, is also under the "People" section)

● appearance: wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Aaron Michaels wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray vest and matching gray pants. in Dr. Aaron Michael's second and third video, he wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray wool suit jacket. generally has folders/binders/notes, with said folder/binder being darkly colored (black? gray? very dark blue? i cant tell). also has an Arkham ID badge (the card is verticle as a fun fact) that he wears on his suit jacket's breast pocket

● has to make a semi-regular video log ("to mak[e] sure I don't have any 'impure thoughts about the inmates'" which he doesn't like that wording for his patients but you pick and choose your battles)

● Works down the hall from Dr. Morton (is below, is also under the "People" section)

● Transferred from Seattle (doesn't have prior knowledge of patients, instead sits down with them totally blind and whatnot). for those unaware, that is in Washington, USA

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★★★ DR. MORTON (DC Comics OC)

● he/him. Unknown forename (i know in his first video that Dr. Morton showed his Arkham badge to camera but i cannot read it so idk if it said his forename. but i like being a nerd about names+meanings; so, despite the fact that it is quite likely he does have a first name already, because it is illegible to me, im giving him a hc forename: very tempting to jokingly pick "Jay" because thepandaredd is Jay Morton, but that's low-hanging fruit, so i digress my pick is Victor, after Victor Frankenstein of "Frankenstein" fame. tho, like, Victor barely counts as a doctor, he's more of a hack insisting he counts, but he practices alchemy which even his classmates say is super-outdated and not a real science. im getting off track. my "BUT"-point here is that i associate them together because Victor Frankenstein sees the Creature, arguably his own son (i def see the Creature as his son, Victor literally created the Creature, but i digress) but is definitely a patient of his if nothing else, as a monster immediately upon the uncanny-valley-motherfucker daring to actually move &&& Dr Morton calls his patients exclusively by their villain-names so far as of 2024 March, implying he does see his patients as monstrous due to their actions or at least sees their villain identities as superseding their original civillian names, which is a really cool contrasting point between him and Dr. Aaron Michaels. i wonder if that's something they argue about but are still friends in spite of, if that sticking point of difference stops them from being friends, etc)

● Level 2 Medical Officer at Arkham Asylum. also called "A physician", is specifically a "General Care physician for all the supervillians housed at the asylum"

↳ 8 years medical school, minor is psychology

● Calls patients by their villain names (important contrast with Dr. Aaron Michaels, above, still under the "People" section. i have analysis about this character choice in my "hc for Dr Morton's forename" right up a few points)

● appearance: he wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Morton wore red scrubs (or what i assume are supposed to be scrubs? idk, im not a scrubs expert) with a black longer-sleeved shirt underneath and black pants. Dr. Morton also wears what i assume is a scrub-cap, and it is black with skull-and-crossbones on it. in his second video, Dr. Morton wore a white labcoat on top of his scrubs, but otherwise dressed the same. also, he has an Arkham ID badge (fun fact: the card is vertical) that he wore as a lanyard around his neck

↳ hc: i think Dr. Morton stops wearing his ID around his neck. it's a common enough thing that patients will attempt to strangle their doctors in general clinics (much less around dangerously violent patients, like in Arkham Asylum) that doctors (1) dont wear stethoscopes around their neck anymore as a rule, or anything around their neck that could be used to choke them; (2) dont generally wear lanyards and, if they do, it is a break-away lanyard; and (3) instead of lanyards will wear a badge-holder-clip (often a retractable one for convenience) on their top somewhere (ive seen it clipped on their scrub-shirt's neck, their shirt breast pocket, and the hem of the shirt. i once saw it on the hem of their sleeve. i do not know if there is protocol about this beyond "above the waist", this is just based on observations and none of the odder ones are recent. i usually see breast pocket the most). which means someone probably tried to choke out Dr. Morton, and idk who would be the most likely candidate, but regardless it probably doesn't help Dr. Morton see his patients positively enough to use their civillian-names over their villain-names

↳ another hc: which, like. speaking of, i dont think Dr. Morton using villain-names over character-names is bad. it is part of the patients identity and probably the part they recognize the most (since v rarely are any remorseful for their actions). it shows Dr. Morton sees them for their (current) actions, rather than seeing them for their humanity out of his own perception of the world. saying that, i still disagree with the decision for a multitude of reasons, but it's a cool character detail and i wont go off in a tangent about this, this is already enough lol

● Works down the hall from Dr. Aaron Michaels (whose section is above, still under the "People" section)

● Listed treatments:

↳ Eyedrops many times a week for Two-Face's eye to not be a raisin

↳ Splinting Penguin's nose

↳ Has never seen Clayface shit

↳ Repairing "the grill" of Joker

↳ Trying to convince the Joker that wiping his ass does not, and can not, make the Joker gay (suspects the Joker is attracted Batman nonetheless)

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★★★ BUTCH MORETI (DC Comics OC)

technically, this character kind of doesn't exist. as the character was just in a draft version of the "Make Condiment King Scary" tiktok, and not in the finalized video. but i am ignoring that

↳ idk if "Butch" was the character's forename or nickname, but i assume it is the forename (but you can hc it as a nickname if you want)

● Pronouns unknown

● Worked with Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King, canon character but re-imagined rendition is below, still listed under "People" section) died because of Mitchell due to Mitchel poisoning a dollop of ketchup (that Butch ate with fries from Big Belly Burger, one of Butch's favorite places to eat)

↳ died in a safe-house, after ripping off Falconé

↳ Mitchell Mayo was sent by Falconé to kill Moreti -- "Falconé sends his regards, Butch"

● appearance: was dressed in all black, with a black leather jacket (no lapel, had fake-motorcycle-padding-shoulder-pockets if you squint. this in contrast to Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s leather jacket which did have a lapel), with a black t-shirt, black pants, etc.

● Butch was irritable (makes sense, after ripping off Falconé and finding someone in the safehouse) and waved a gun around for intimidation

● i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol ■ more on thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell Mayo (The Condiment King) below, still under the "People" section

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★★★ MITCHELL MAYO (CONDIMENT KING) (DC Comics)

technically, shouldn't be here bc he is a canon DC comics character already. but i like thepandaredd's re-imagining enough to have made notes and consider him a bit of an OC of panda's

● assumed, he/him pronouns due to canon and masculine self-references (eg. a guy, a man, King, etc)

● hates the title "Condiment King", does not like to be called that and will tell you. the press gave it to him after a murder Mitchell comitted (more below under "Confirmed murders")

↳ "So patronizing. Like, I'm trying to make some some grand-standing with what I do, I'm not. I'm not."

↳ "Everybody in Gotham has got a gimmick."

↳ "See, my problem isn't with the name itself. It's with what the insult that is implied. People think that what I do is silly. But I'm gonna ask you something. If the ketchup was too tangy, would you stop eating it? Or if your hot wings tingled your throat in a way you didn't expect, would you all of a sudden stop? See, the thing is, apart from taking a shit: eating is when people are at their most vulnerable. I ask you: do you know what poison tastes like? Are you sure?"

● appearance: wears a green beanie with a pompom (reference to character's pickle hat in comics. (fun behind-the-scenes fact: the hat in question in the tiktok is a backwards "Friends" beanie. Mitchell's is assumedly not that. but it is what thepandaredd could find at the time)). wears all black otherwise, including a black leather jacket (with a lapel), a black t-shirt, black pants, etc (note: when killing the unnamed guy a few bullet points below, was wearing a "new sky blue suit" that got stains all over it from fighting said guy in a kitchen and getting tossed around. assumedly had to throw it away after, but who knows, maybe it got cleaned)

↳ very recognizable. Ted (below, still under "People" section) recognized Mitchell Mayo on sight, despite being a Gotham transplant who'd only been there for three months

● personality is generally laid-back? a bit of an "under the surface" type of control-freak? is kind of quiet, lets people make assumptions that benefit Mitchell Mayo. keeps calm while others fly off the handle. will get a bit loud and growly when angry, letting it slip for half a phrase or so, before laughing it off and continuing like he isn't annoyed/pissed off. smiles and laughs creepily at the idea of murdering people; no guilt, no shame, enjoys it. very much recommend watching both the draft and final versions of "Make Condiment King Scary" that thepandaredd made

● likes to eat french fries (in the draft version of "Make Condiment King Scary", Mitchell eats the fries without ketchup as said ketchup is poisoned for Butch Moreti to eat. in this version, the fries are from Big Belly Burger ■ in the final version of the video, Mitchell does eat his fries with ketchup) ■ according to Ted's second "Living in Gotham" video (Ted's section is below, still under the "People" header. Ted called Mitchell Mayo exclusively by "the Condiment King" which i assume did not help Ted's case), Mitchell got so mad at Ted for dissing the Bat Burger (+Joker Fries) that Ted had to hide in the bathroom of an abandoned building as Mitchell Mayo pounded on the bathroom door saying, "I know you're in there! I know you're in there! Open the door!". so i assume the Bat Burger is Mitchell Mayo's favorite and that he is the "No, you misunderstand. I'm not willing to die on this hill, I'm willing to kill you on it." type in regards to food-opinions

● drinks A&W rootbeer? i think?? idk what that can is of otherwise (in final version of "Make Condiment King Scary")

● worked with Falconé as "a goon" ("another grunt off the street"; kind of implies Goonion likely wasn't a thing yet back then? but who knows, Goonion doesn't seem relatively new, so Mitchell Mayo probably was a member when he started. edit: nah, according to the Goonion merch, it was "established 2000", so yeah, it is relatively new, nvm) ("Hands up, fucker, Falconé sends his regards"), implied to not being doing that anymore

↳ when with Butch Moerti (section above, still under "People"), is implied to still be peers. so still henchmen. Butch patronizes Mitchell, sees Mitchell as below Butch, and Mitchell allows Butch to underestimate him as it benefits Mitchell in the end

↳ i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol

↳ implied to be a mercenary now? idk if this version is a supervillain (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)

● Confirmed murders: (within thepandaredd re-imagining canon)

↳ manipulated Butch Moreti (section above, still under "People") via using Big Belly Burger fries (Butch Moreti's favorite. "Man, you know that's my shit") and poisoning a dollop of ketchup that had been untouched on a paper plate -- arguably non-canonical bc Butch only exists in a drafted version of "Make The Condiment King Scary" and not the final version, but im ignoring that ■ well, actually, i guess Butch kind of is also in the final version as there is some unseen person cough-choking to the end, assumedly poisoned. that could be Butch. or a reference to Butch. who knows lol

↳ (the following is a bastardized summary of the "Make Condiment King Scary" final video; please go watch it) Mitchell killed an unnamed guy in a pot of hot sauce (technically, "extra hot sauce", still on the stove ■ "You know, when you drown, they say your lungs feel like they're on fire. Can you imagine what that's like with capsaicin added to the mix?" (this line is only in the draft version) ■ "Did you know that it only takes three pounds of ground up chillis, consumed in one sitting, to kill a man? Purely from the capsaicin. Well, I'll tell you what, he figured out what it's like to inhale that shit."). drowned the unnamed guy in a pot of it. it is how Mitchell Mayo got the nickname "Condiment King" from the press. ■ event in further detail: Mitchell was sent by Falconé bc a resteraunt "racket" he had been running (slang definition: "an illegal or dishonest scheme for obtaining money". i assume that means the place was a front for money laundering? that the "owner" went "no, fuck you, i actually like doing this"? that's kinda sweet. or maybe Falconé was doing "pay me for protection (from me)" thing, idk, that's less sweet but still admirable lol) had itself an owner who decided not to pay, "So I was sent to relieve him of his station". Mitchell let the guy finish up his meal, followed the owner into the back, stuck a gun in his face. but the guy was a black belt in karate, kicked gun out of Mitchell's hand, fought and tossed Mitchell around, then Mitchell held the unnamed guy's head in that pot of hot sauce "until the fucking bubbles stopped coming up". therefore, Mitchell Mayo killed a guy with hot sauce in a suit covered in condiments got the nickname "Condiment King"

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★★★ REGGIE BENSON (his second Marvel OC! yay!)

● unknown pronouns. (he/him implied via "dude" and "guy" diction? but idk, i use those gender neutrally myself)

● appearance: wears a red and a blueish-gray flannel with a black sherpa lining that is a zip-up jacket; ontop of a plain pale-red t-shirt. as a prop, Reggie often carries around an iPad (assumedly to draw on, write notes, and record audio with. i hc Reggie uses the Notability app a fuck ton, because that lets you record audio while you write notes which is great for lectures/interviews. Notability is a bit hard to draw with in my exp, but not the worst; plus you can switch apps easy. idk how well it works for Zoom/Facetime/online interviews, but in-person ones? esp pre-Wolverine-interview? Reggie probably used Notability a shitton. iPad is a very good prop pick for Reggie to have), said iPad seems to have a pale-gray case. Reggie also has a prosthetic leg (assumedly his right (the viewer's left) leg from how he looked down?)

↳ "How did I get [my prosthetic leg]? I, uh, mighy have asked Wolverine how he shaves? Listen, I'm just saying-- I know legal said don't talk about it, they asked, I want to tell them-- if a nuke gets dropped on a guy, and he comes back with perfectly shaved mutton-chops, I don't think it's unreasonable to know how he shaves his freaking moustache, okay?!" ("I, uh, I have been informed by legal team over at Marvel that I, I, I, uh, should stop talking about the Wolverine interview on camera. So, uh, can you just, tch, cut that, please?")

● works at Marvel Comics' Marvel Comics (bc Marvel Comics legitimately decided "let's put our comic company inside our comic-universe, selling comics about the heroes the universe has. like a graphic novel version of the news, except it is 'fictional stories with grains of truth' somehow", sure). thepandaredd explains this oddity a bit better over in the July 2022 compilation (which, for clarity, Reggie's introductory skits are over in the August 2022 compilation)

↳ Reggie's official position at the company is: "Earth 616 Reporter (Mutant Division) Marvel™️ Comics". Reggie just says "I'm a reporter for Marvel Comics" and that "Personally, a lot of the stories that I cover are a lot of mutant and mutant-related things." ■ they still say "Excelsior"/"'celsior" at fictional-Marvel, that's cool

↳ it can probably be safely assumed Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and whatnot still are still alive? since they were, at one point, in the comics? but idk if they are in the skit-world-of-thepandaredd. but they might be Reggie's co-workers?

↳ Reggie explains their job as a mixture of the news section and "the funny pages" section of a newspaper. it's reporting news, put in some graphics, and add "drama and spice to keep things fresh". ■ Marvel Comics (the fictional company) does try to be unbiased and also get "all the perspectives possible" (eg. the villains' pov). says that "Some people that rhe public has labeled as super-villains aren't really that bad of people to talk to. Others, (note: Reggie is clearly thinking of Mojo, more in a lower bullet-point) uhm [i cut out the heavy stuttering], some of the opinions are deserved." ■ Reggie sees himself as "I like to think of myself as their voice. I get to get their side of the story out to the people, y'know?"

↳ for work, Reggie has met with: Paste Pot Pete (no label within the skit. civillian identity: Peter Petruski. is sometimes also called The Trapster, but not in these skits lol) ■ Mojo (the skit labels Mojo as "Mojo. Media Tycoon. Professionally Gross. Entrepreneur. Owner: WatchMojo". Mojo is both his villain and civillian name. his alien species is called the Spineless Ones. in one specific comic-run, "Ultimate X-Men", he is a human named Mojo Adams, but i digress. Reggie gets general-canon-alien-Mojo, who terrifies/disgusts Reggie to the point that Reggie screams, even on video-call/Facetime) ■ Wolverine (the skit labels Wolverine as "Logan Howlett. Mutant. 'The Wolverine™️'. Avengers, X-Men, X-Force, History Teacher." Wolverine hates Reggie: he says "fuck that guy" and thinks Reggie is a total asshole) ■ Charles Xavier (the skit labels Charles as "Charles Xavier. Headmaster. Mutant. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngesters™️. Nobel Prize Winner". when asked about Reggie, Charles began by saying Reggie is "a fine young chap" until he was told this was off the record, to which Charles said "Oh, the dude's a prick.") ■ Namoor (Zoom interview. has fried the "complimentary iPad we gave him by going underwater" before, hope that doesn't happen again. is mentioned in skit, but not shown, so no label)

↳ i personally feel it is important to add Reggie will snort-laugh at some things the people they interview say, and Reggie will cover it up with a lie that the sound they made was "allergies"/that it is "allergy season"

↳ my hc: i think the Paste Pot-Pie interview was pre-Wolverine, and Reggie does all his interviews over Facetime/Zoom since losing his leg post-Wolverine interview? maybe legal over at Marvel advised it

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★★★ ARNOLD (a third Marvel OC! very little info tho)

● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc: i googled Marvel's version of State University to confirm if Arnold was an OC or not, and i couldn'find anything to say he is canon so i assume OC. i know very little Fantastic Four lore. anyway, i see it says there is a dean already there-- which is to be expected, and universities can have multiple deans-- but that same dean does not have a forename. so i am hc'ing slapping Arnold onto this dean whose entire wiki says he just "welcome[d] Reed Richards when he arrived with the the Fantastic Four at State U to deliver a lecture", the end. so, my hc name is Dean Arnold Mencken, or just Arnold Mencken when he is not a dean, i guess. also, i looked what the surname means on my beloved search-engine of Surnames.BehindTheName because i LOVE name-meanings and intertextual references and whatnot-- and nothing came up. so i tried google, and a site called "Forebears.io" that i am unsure about entirely trusting says that it is a variant spelling of the surname Menken (which BehindTheName also had nothing on) and both means "One who lived in a monastery" which sounds fitting and i kind of have an "i don't know enough about this to say you're right or wrong, and i don't like that" opinion about. but eh. the character's surname was already decided. it's whatever, it's just a hc. if you want to see the fandom-wiki pages on Dean [No forename] Mencken, the one listing him as staff from State U is here and his own page is over here)

↳ insists students call him by just "Arnold" when they try to call him "Dean". Victor Von Doom compromises, somewhat, and switches from "Dean" to "Dean Arnold"

● is a dean at State University in New York (which, yes, is a real university). was dean at the time Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom were students

● appearance: wears glasses and a plain black t-shirt in the skit

● is in just the one skit from the 2023 Oct./Nov. compilation, unlikely to appear again but who knows!

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★★★ PROFESSOR FINGER (DC Comics OC)

↳ is actually a spoof on "Bill Finger", who worked on Batman comics. more below under Professor Kane's section (below, still under "People")

● he/him pronouns. unknown forename. (hc forename: Duval. after Marie Duval, the primary creator of "Ally Sloper" which was a then-famous Victorian comic strip to which her husband (Charles Ross) stole all the credit and was heralded as a comic genius for almost 150 years. only in the past few years, thanks to a comics historian named David Kunzle, has Marie Duval been given her full share of credit for what was ultimately her comic. but yeah, i checked if Duval is a forename and i found tons of people with it as their forename so hell yeah)

● appearance: unknown, Prof Finger was never shown on-screen

● switched mid-skit between calling him an "English teacher" and a "Philosophy teacher". (maybe he's English specialized in Philosophy, like ive had English college classes require we read "On The Consolation of Philosophy" by Boethius before) more likely, Finger is English and Jason Todd mispoke when he said "Philosophy"

● is a Professor at Tim Drake's school, and Tim is in his class; Jason Todd took his class, was implied to have taken it years ago. was called "Professor Finger" (note: not "Dr. Finger", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out. main reason i mention it is bc i kept making a typo the first time i wrote this section up calling him "Dr. Finger" and that isn't accurate, he was never called that in the skit, idk why i kept making the same typo).

↳ the phrasing of "Professor" leads me to assume this is university (idk how private schools work and if they have students call anybody "Professor") which Jason Todd i don't think is confirmed to go to university? (Jason Todd hc: i think he should go. i am very much Team Jason Todd The English Professor Or English (Public? or Gotham Academy?) High School Teacher (probably more likely public bc i can see Jason Todd wanting to reach out to disadvantaged youth at public schools moreso than help deliquent rich kids on principle. but i can also see him going "i dont want to hang out with teenagers who don't want to participate in discussions; i'm gonna teach on college campuses" bc he deserves students who are interested in his class, his life has been hard enough, let him have passionate students and, unfortunately, college English students are more likely passionate about the material than high school English students, idk what to tell you). but im also Team Jason Todd Takes College Classes (Mostly English) For Fun With No Intent Of A Degree tho. either or) and the only college Tim went to that i am aware of is Ivy University in Ivy Town. however, i think it is more likely both Jason Todd and Tim Drake are both taking college classes (or "has taken" in Jason Todd's case since it's implied he went Finger's class years ago, idk if he is implied to still attending or not rn, before was just my hc) at Gotham University in Gotham City, that feels like the most convenient place for them to both go. however, it would also make sense for this to be a reference to Gotham Academy (in which case Tim Drake is in high school and Jason Todd has since left), but again, idk if private schools ask students to call their teachers by "Professor". im probably overthinking this

● obsessed with Batman

↳ keeps having students every semester write a paper on the philosophy of Batman to the point that Jason Todd thinks "he should have a book of those by now"

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★★★ PROFESSOR KANE (DC Comics OC)

↳ is actually a spoof on "Bob Kane", who worked on the Batman comics 

↳ (if you want to read up on why Bill Finger and Bob Kane are being discussed like this, this article goes over a good amount of introductory information (https://boldentrance.com/how-bob-kane-stole-batman-from-bill-finger/) and i also recommend this reddit thread to get a bit more of a window into the DC Comics fandom dialogue about it (https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/s/sf8P8hgBxv). but yeah, there's better resources if you want to know more in-depth stuff, i just picked the most accessible, quick-to-read, starter stuff) thepandaredd has also done a few videos on Bill Finger and Bob Kane, but i can't find them even though i know they exist (edit: found them (on accident), it's within their "DC Comics Discussions 3" youtube video). but this is just thepandaredd doing a "Wouldn't it be nice?" alternate reality where the students protected Finger and ousted Kane for trying to steal Finger's job, the actions dictated here did not happen in real life. it's just a nod to the irl drama via the names involved (and also maybe the enough "psychology/philosophy of Batman" stuff to make a book is a reference that Finger kept a continuity book of all Batman and Batman-associated-characters/places he came up with so as to minimize continuity errors. i am not aware of Finger having ever written a "Psychology/Philosophy of Batman" book or anything similar for that topic ad nauseam, again, as far as i am aware, that's just a popular point of pop culture analysis to the point that even i have written a paper on it for college), it is not a summary of said drama

● he/him. unknown forename. (hc forename: Ross. after Charles Ross, of the "Ally Sloper" fame, who famously took all the credit that his wife, Marie Duval did to making this Victorian comic strip an icon of its time)

● appearance: unknown, Prof Kane is never seen on-screen

● "Professor Kane tried to steal [Professor Finger's] job last year, but everyone kind of ousted him"

↳ "Oh, gross, Professor Kane? That dude's a dick."

↳ "Yeah, that's what everyone else said."

↳ assumedly, since Tim Drake doesn't have his own opinion of Kane voiced (just "that's what everyone else said"), though Professor Kane is at Tim's school, Tim has not interacted with him one-on-one or had his class (my assumption would be Tim is avoiding Kane's classes since everyone keeps talking shit. why willingly take a teacher you know might make your life hellish for a semester? i do that with RateMyProfessor all the time). in contrast, Jason Todd likely has taken a class by Professor Kane considering his wording (which makes additional sense when you realize Jason Todd is unlikely to use the internet or features like RateMyProfessor due to him having grown up without much day-to-day/non-Batman-and-Robin tech before the Lazarus Pit. probably isn't a habit for him to look profs up); but it's also likely Jason just came to his own conclusions firmly after hearing enough rumors/second-hand stories about it, that does also fit Jason's personality

↳ "ousted" implies Professor Kane no longer works at that campus. but who knows, maybe

● (note: same as Professor Finger's section above, still under the "People" section— this guy is not "Dr. Kane", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, we don't know what kind of subject this Kane OC is a professor of. but, considering he tried to steal Professor Finger's job, i think it's safe to assume Kane is also an English professor. it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out.)

● i'm not re-writing my notes on "is this guy a Professor at a university (Ivy University? Gotham University?) or at Goth Academy (high school)?" so look above in Professor Finger's section (above, still under "People") for my waffling on about that

● i'm guessing on the spelling of Professor Kane's surname based on phoentics + "Kane" is how Bob Kane spelled his surname (same goes for "Finger" except i don't think there is any other way to spell "Finger"(?), unlike Kane/Cain/Kain/Cane/Kayne/Cayne/Caine/Kaine/Caigne/Kaigne/etc, you get the idea). i assume Professor Kane is unrelated to the DC Comics Kane (fictional) family/families (eg. one family is Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman), Mary Elizabeth "Bette" Kane (Hawkfire), and Jacob Kane. another Kane family is the father-son duo Jesse Kane and David Kane (Black Manta; though i think it's more popular for Black Manta's civillian surname to be Hyde in-comics), from the live-action "Aquaman" movie series. and another is Cassandra Cain (Oracle; in some other universes, her surname is Wu-San though) and her father, David Cain; though that one is if i assumed incorrectly about how to spell Professor Kane's surname. and so on, im sure there's others with a variant of this surname. a lot of people in the DC Comic workspace used the surname as either a Biblical reference, which is not that important to what i am discussing here, or in tribute to Bob Kane before everyone knew about how much work should actually be attributed to Bill Finger) but yeah, hc to your heart's content if you want Professor Kane to be related to someone. just because there is no evidence of confirmation does not, in this case, mean there is any evidence of contradiction either. (hc: like i prefer Jacob Kane to be a good guy, bc Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman) deserves a decent dad. but i know in the "Gotham Knights" game (idk if this is true anywhere else), Jacob Kane is a member of The Court Of Owls, specifically "The Voice of the Court". i think the Waynes/Kanes having a connection to the Court makes sense. i think it's kinda off to have everyone in the Wayne/Kanes be good, and all other rich families in Gotham have at least one bad egg in The Court of Owls; i think the Wayne/Kanes should be included as part of that corrupted mess, just, probably someone outside of the Batfam and their immediate relatives. id be perfectly happy having Professor Kane be in the Wayne/Kane family as the representative associated with The Court Of Owls in Jacob Kane's place. maybe he can be Jacob Kane's crotchety old uncle or someone in the family closer to Kate's age, but someone who they are all but officially estranged from. hence, no idea he/their family was involved in the Court. if you prefer drama tho, i don't think anybody really knows anything about Bette Kane's dad except that he's dead? maybe he came back, idk, basically all the Robins have died and came back. or maybe she has a brother, idk, i prefer my "distant family" pitch more personally. but also then i kinda wonder why Professor Finger isn't dead via a Talon getting assigned to kill him, so i also don't believe my own hc pitch. it is the most likely option that Professor Kane could just be an unrelated, miscellaneously benign but dickish Kane lol anyway, i digress)

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★★★ TED (the Gotham transplant. DC Comics OC)

● unknown pronouns. unknown surname. (hc surname: Icarian. meaning i hc this character's name to be Ted Icarian. which "Icarian" is the adjective/noun form referencing the Ancient Greek lore character called "Icarus". most famous for wearing his dad's wax wings, flying too close to the sun, and falling to his death with a moral about arrogance, the sublime, and human error. which, y'know, is poetic because im hc'ing this as "uncorrupted Ted that has never been/has yet to become a goon" (more on that in a bullet-point below), ergo, "before the fall" morally and before Bill's-version-pre-reboot-of-Ted's fall from Wayne Towers ~73 stories high to his death from Man-Bat. so it is also a pun. also, as a brief self-note: applying the Hozier song titled "Icarian (I, Carrion)" to this intrepretation of Ted is fitting poetically and also funny in a dark-humor way. edit: Ted's life is going downhill fast between the first and second videos, and i feel like i accidentally condemned Ted with this surname lmao Ted, i'm so sorry)

↳ the following does involve hc, but also does analyze possible connections between "this Ted" and "the Ted mentioned within Bill The Henchmen's Confirmed Co-Workers section of Bill's whole bit above (yet still under the "People" heading)": i like to headcanon this is the same Ted who is/was Bill The Henchman's late coworker. since Ted-The-Coworker was established pre-Reboot Agent, this could either be a prequel to Ted dying from the Man-Bat (which btw the skit of that is linked here) or could be Ted in a rebooted alternate life. i like to assume the latter, because i think that'd be hilariously trippy for Bill to see his coworker still alive post-reboot but tragic that this Ted doesn't likely know who Bill is lol but also all of this, either way, makes the Henchman LinkedIn joke a few bullet-points down extra (bittersweet) fucking funny

● appearance: wears all black. first video included a black t-shirt and a black denim jacket. second video included a black scarf with a black-white-and-gray long-sleeve top.

● has a 4-door car. idk anything about cars. but has shot these videos, generally, in said car. so that is one of Ted's habits as an influencer → and now that car is where Ted sleeps, oh dear (at least is sleeping with a neck pillow? idk any silver lining here)

● now lives in Gotham (Batman's territory, which is in the East Coast and most traditionally is in pseudo-New Jersey), but is a transplant from Coast City (for context, Coast City's most famous protector is Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) if that helps you. it's in pseudo-California). lives in an apartment in Gotham → oh, god. uh, Ted no longer lives in an apartment in Gotham. Ted is now unhomed, now living in their car. their apartment was burned down into the shape of a giant smiley-face and there was a fireproof-paper note on "where my bed once used to be" that said: "Disrespect my Joker Fries again, bitch, and it won't just be the house". so. assumedly Ted's home was burned down by the Joker

↳ has lived in Gotham City "for 3 months". if you want to apply reality's timeline to the skit, hen he has been living in Gotham for 3 months from the point of recording the tiktok on 25 March 2024 (aka: 25 January 2024-ish is around when Ted moved to Gotham?)

● two jobs. job (1) is as an influencer, makes tiktoks (eg. "Top 5 Facts About Gotham City (from a Coast City transplant)" type videos. doing social media seems to be a side hustle or just for fun? each video has the top margin say "GOTHAM FYP" or "GOTHAM CITY FYP" so far (which i know is a fun trend people do and that's part of advertising that "hello, the following is comments about a fictional city; this a trend, i am a nerd (/tone indicator: affectionate); please do not think this is a real place (or that im stupid, as sometimes comic nerd get v patronizing in the comments. (eg. 'uh? op didn't know Harvey Dent was Two-Face? fake DC fan much' like? my comrade, it is a trend, it is a GAG, of course op knew, they did a skit playing as a character that's a Gotham civillian who wouldn't know that, oh my god, that's the BIT))", but also my not-tech-savvy ass assumes a part of it is also supposed to be a gag about the search-bar? and the idea is that the viewer is either watching Gotham City content within the DC-universe or, more likely, also lives in Gotham(?). idk. but yeah because [insert real city] fyp content doesn't ever have that "[CITY] FYP" stuff at the top that ive seen, but they do always have the search bar always filled in. usually with more "[real city] fyp" items, most generally it will be just "[city] fyp" but also sometimes the search bar says stuff like "[city] fyp to eat", "[city] fyp tips", etc as i watch the tiktok video VS. if i watch "Gotham FYP" content, my personal 50/50 experience on if my search-bar will give me more "Gotham FYP" content in my search bar or if it will be something else DC Comics adjacent, like a new movie. however, after saying all of that: i think i maybe went into an overthinking spiral again, ignore me if that is the case) summary content of video below in case application of Gotham Fun Facts is desired)

↳ does not think the Bat Burger lives up to the hype. thinks Joker Fries are not that good. prefers Big Belly Burger (same favorite resteraunt as Butch Moreti, another thepandaredd OC, above yet still under the "People" section). will still eat Bat Burger tho

↳ "Gang territory, here? Gerrymandered to fuck". have to change colors of outfit to keep safe

↳ Halloween is outlawed in Gotham (in part bc of copyright laws). even trick-or-treating is illegal

↳ Henchman jobs are available on Linked In. applying puts you on a watchlist for the GCPD but still

↳ Gothamites are both exaggerating about the crime rates here and not. Gotham has more than the usual number of villains but the crime is less of a disturbance than expected, in spite of how "in Coast City, we're used to, like, one intergalactic threat showing up every couple of months" VS "It is like almost every other fucking week here [in Gotham]"

↳ Ted got a Welcome Package when Ted first moved in. package contained: "a safety straw you use to drink out of fucking lakes, a gas-mask, [and] a gun"

↳ "The second the sun dips behind the horizon, the sky turns red. No, I'm not joking. Night-time doesn't exist. There are demon hours and that is when the sky is fucking red!" also, both Ted and i are chemically unsure how that works

↳ there are police blimps to patrol Gotham City from the sky. "I saw a dude jay-walk at, like, 2 in the morning; and, all of a sudden, a flood-light came out of the goddamn sky!" which Ted admits, despite having lived where Green Lantern "used to be" (is that verb-usage related to the Superb Prowers insurance question about Coast City being gone now? is Green Lantern also gone? idk), Green Lantern did not get Ted used to this kind of shit at all (fair)

↳ despite there being "like 10 million people living here", "more than half" of the buildings here are of abandoned buildings and all of them were former businesses (hc/theory: Ted, those were probably the results of fronts for money-laundering, and they they had to shut the place down in order to avoid the cops. and also poverty, making a honest business as a newbie entrepreneur with no familial pre-established networking is very hard, i imagine, esp with all the "pay my gang for protection (from our gang)" stuff. that doesn't help) ■ yet Ted found a way into a (working?) bathroom in one such building, admittingly under duress (Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) was chasing him) ■ "half the residential buildings are abandoned apartment complexes"

↳ Ted finds Robin (assumedly Damian Wayne; "a 12 year-old running around with a sword") is "scarier than you would think". not necessrily that Robin is scarier than Batman, but that not enough people warn you about Robin. plus the fact that said Robin has "two brothers" where "one of them is fucking packing heat and the other is just going to fucking beat you to death with a billy-club!" (okay so, that is assumedly Jason Todd (Red Hood) and Tim Drake (Red Robin). makes sense, since Dick Grayson is largely looking over Bludhaven, he would not be present, and Duke Thomas (Signal) is largely working day-hours. Ted is not going to be happy to find out that there are more than just those two tho) ■ "the Robins" went after Ted for loitering? bc Ted was trying to find a place to sleep, homeless, in their car?? "Loitering is a big thing here" (hc: i don't like the idea of the Batfam caring about loitering (which is v racially charged "crime"), much less pestering the homeless?? especially Jason, who im p sure did sleep on the street at some point. but i can accept the idea that they saw unfamiliar plates on the car and wanted to check out "who the hell is driving this slow (looking for where to sleep) at 2AM from Coast City?" and pulled out the random loitering as an empty excuse (reality: was checking this dude wasn't a runaway robber from Coast City, looking for a place to break-into, mostly to hide-out and maybe rob; and then realized the truth about Ted's situation). i can also accept them gently being involved in the homeless' lives so as to better protect them, remember them, break the ice, and just (again: gently) hazing new people. i like the idea of Ted seeing a couple comments from other unhoused people explaining that "getting to know you" method. just messing with Ted while they got down some details to look a bit more into Ted (eg. Damian memorizing Ted's license plate while Time distracts Ted might lead the trio to an article explaining how Ted lost that apartment) and see if they can get Ted off the street without being so obvious as to dish out hand-outs since some people have really negative reactions to those despite the good intentions. idk. it was just a gag, but one that greatly confused me so now i am spinning it and righting it in my head lmao)

↳ the G.C.P.D. police have to be at every single graduation from college. because, and this happens so often, that someone gets their doctorate and right then and there decides to commit their first act of super-villainy at the ceremony. part of me wonders how Ted learned that, what graduation did Ted attend or did Ted hear about it from others? idk

● second job: unknown. assumed to be Ted's day-job or main occupation (with social-media as a side thing).

↳ has co-worker there named Alex (confirmed he/him pronouns. Alex's duplex is split between Penguin territory and Two-Face territory. "has to change colors if he wants to go to the bathroom". Alex does not get his own section because this is all the info i got on him ■ though i will also say there is another Alex, likely unrelated for reasons listed in the other section, in The First Universal Henchmen's Union section's "confirmed members" listing, above, and said section is all under the overall "Associations" heading)

● Ted's Enemies, i guess (hopefully just temporarily): Joker (pissed off due to Ted dissing the Joker Fries; burned down Ted's apartment and left a threatening fireproof note) ■ Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) (was also pissed off by Ted's food opinions, though Mitchell's was implied to moreso be about the Bat Burger; chased Ted into an abandoned building's bathroom and pounded on the door of said bathroom while yelling at Ted) ■ i assume there will be more

● (@/thepandaredd, if you're reading this, i know i said i have hcs but i truly do not actually care if this Ted and the previous dead-Ted are two different Teds, the same Ted but a prequel version, the same Ted but now rebooted into an alternate life... all i ask, is that Ted is not the next "Todd". it would be so fucking funny if you made a third Ted (even funnier if this one was Tedd, with two "D"s, but that is nOT TO GIVE YOU IDEAS), but i am also begging you between laughs once again to please consider not making more DC OCs named Ted. that is so close spelling-wise to "Todd". please. and thank you for coming to my TED Talk (ba-da-tish)) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds and Teds. much love to you and yours ♡]

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★★★ THE REGRETTABLES RE-IMAGINING PITCHES (exactly what it sounds like. not quite an OC, but fuck it)

★ you could also argue "Daniel Dyce (#711)" of "Regrettable Superheroes" is a pitch of an OC of thepandaredd (specifically, thepandaredd pitched for him to become a gag villain in Gotham who keeps breaking out of Arkham). which, uh, i do also have notes on. but i will not be sharing within this post because a lot of it is "me myself brainstorming a re-imagining of this character" which feels too tangiental to put here in "thepandaredd's original characters and associations" post. and, yeah, you would have assumed thepandaredd would have further re-imagining pitches of some of the "Regrettables" but these were the rare ones i could find and i am p confident i've watched all the videos in that series bc i was looking for exactly these kind of notes. all the rest were "Regrettable, don't bring them back" or "Not regrettable, bring them back (with said opinion not including a pitch for their re-imagining. at most just a vague 'as a gag'. anything more than that and i will attach them to this/my thepanndaredd's OC list)".

↳ but yeah, that was from a two-parter tiktok from 8 June 2023 (or thepandaredd's 2023 June Monthly compilation video, either or). i'm generally gping to keep these summaries short bc their pitches are short. but thepandaredd's pitch for Daniel Dyce is to have him come back as an Arkham Asylum patient who keeps breaking out of his room #711, and is a gag. Daniel is just delusional, keeps fighting the Batman and Bat-kids while thinking they are the villain Brick-Bat and that Dyce is a hero (read: Dyce is not a hero in his re-imagining, that is his altered reality he thinks he is living. he fails spectacularly every time he tries heroics). alternatively, it could be the Riddler putting on a Batman cowl to fuck with Dyce and make Dyce think Batman is bad (similar as to Hush), taking advantage of Dyce to throw in Batman's way. it is implied that Dyce does belong in Arkham and was not a case of Damon and Pythias* gone wrong, that was just another delusion in thepandaredd's re-imagining. but yeah, just a one-shot gag villain

↳ *: as a fun-fact the nerd in me wants to mention: Daniel Dyce's shtick with his best buddy in terms of the prison-swapping is actually an intertextual reference to the Ancient Greek lore story of Damon and Pythias (except Damon and Pythias was about Pythias being on death row (the version i know is Pythias being framed by King Dionysus I "for trying to kill King Dioynsus I". bc. King Dionysus I wanted to get rid of Pythias. for. reasons that i forget that i think were political), and Damon volunteers to be Pythias' placeholder (and be executed in Pythias' place if Pythias never returns) so Pythias can settle some affairs back home himself and ensure his family is taken care of before he comes back to be executed. then, in the original story, the whole time Damon volunteers and waits and waits and waits, everyone says "Damon, dude, Pythias is totally not going to come back, you're gonna die in his place, i'm so sorry, there is no way he is going to come back" but Damon has faith and then Pythias does come back (and was almost too late, like Damon's head was on the chopping block awaiting the blade, because Pythias got thrown overboard his own ship by pirates and swam as fast as he could to get back on the path so Damon wouldn't die, which is fucking wild, but i digress). and King Dioynsus I is so touched by the sheer Pythagorean Friendship moral ideal these two are that he pardons Pythias! so now both he and Damon get to live, yaayyyy!! and, as a bonus fact, the most popular recent re-telling of this in contemporary times is Dreamsworks' "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas", which is an animated pirate movie, ain't that neat. and, hey, while i got you here, you should watch Breadsword's "Sinbad and The Death of Pirate Cinema" on youtube because all of Breadsword's video-essays are poetic and make me wanna cry). uh, except if you have seen the two-parter thepandaredd made about Daniel Dyce (or somehow read Daniel Dyce's comic yourself), you'll know that's not how shit went down for Daniel Dyce, he did not get that happy ending lmao rip

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★ next one is "Tony Trent (The Face)". again, i have notes about running with this pitch. not included here bc it's Very Much Me which is tangential for a thepandaredd OC listicle and im already pushing the envelope with my hc additions i couldn't bring myself to delete for the public version. so here we go. this one has a pitch way more minimal than Daniel Dyce (#711) right above, but still got more than just "as a gag" so here we are lol (plus, there is no intertextual reference i am recognizing and wanna be a nerd about. sooooo...) thankfully tho, this will be shorter

↳ video is in the May 2023 compilation. is p just putting a Halloween mask on and scaring people.all because he, as a radio announcer and part-time news anchor, got so disheartened and angry by what he had to read everyday, that he just had to become a night-time vigilante. he is like a private-eye pulp detective, "he's like Batman but shitty". "No gadgets, no superpowers, no supervillains, no continuous enemies". thepandaredd's re-imagining pitch is to keep all of that and just, as a parody gag, have this guy show up in Gotham to make a difference and have everyone be like "No, dude, we fight Batman? Who the fuck are you?". because, as thepandaredd so eloquently said "He's just a guy!" that's it lmao rip

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the end, until i update this (if i ever do)

#thepandaredd #thepandaredd ocs #jay morton #bill the henchman #bill the professional henchman #my notes

[thoughtsofterror]

Springtrap headcanons

(okay so some of these headcanons are linked with my fnaf au based on how my version of Springtrap acts, some of these are headcanons for my fnaf 3 oc, Allison who's his 12 year old adopted daughter)

-This man loves cuddling, especially if it's with someone who he cares about (just don't be surprised if it ends up getting a little tight, it can be at times but it'll be loose enough so you can still breathe and talk to him if you want to)

-He will protect anyone who he cares about at all costs, one of the many reasons for this is because he doesn't want to lose them after what happened with his kids

-He has a fluffy tail and fur but it gets matted so easily so it had to be brushed out so often the point where the workers just stopped doing it

-He has some sensetive spots on his face, especially his chin and cheek. He'll even let you scratch or pet those spots if he trusts you enough and most of the time his tail will end up wagging if he really enjoys it

-He will act animalistic-like at times because it's canon that he's practically Spring Bonnie so after he became Springtrap he adapted to behaving like an animal that will include kicking his leg if he's pet in sensetive spots (mentioned in the previous headcanon)

-He will scare the night guard mostly for fun just so he can get reminded of how he used to kill but also to protect Allison

-If he kills you it mostly likely will be in a springlock suit but not without physical knife torture

-If he ends up having a crush on you don't be surprised if he turns into an overprotective bunny yandere

-Usually weapons are tools that he gets from Phantom Foxy or just lying around since they don't clean Fazbear's Frights for reasons God knows why

-He hates Balloon Boy so much to the point that when you use the audio lure he will follow it thinking that it is Balloon Boy so he can shout at him for annoying him only to get furious finding out it was a trap

-If you tighten up his springlocks the more mad he will get but if you loosen up the less aggressive he will get (idk I was just thinking of something that would make sense and be like a 20/20 mode for him)

-He gave Allison a Spring Bonnie plush for her 12th birthday that was originally a birthday gift he had for C.C but C.C got killed before he could give it to him so he decided to give it to her since usually he can't come up with anything to give her as a birthday gift other than cuddles and hugs

-He's a tsundere yandere type of guy, don't try to get me thinking otherwise

-When Fazbear's Fright burnt down it was because of him since he wanted to escape with Allison for a long time but forgot she was in here and on his way out he found her and escaped with Allison barely alive. The poor rabboi had to go through losing his closest kid and even used the good fraction of his soul to bring her back to life so he could prevent himself from having another killing rampage

#springtrap #headcanon

[erelavent]

Toto’s webinar

Hey y’all! I just got back home (It’s literally 12am) and I have linked the audio of the Toto webinar here. However, I cut out the intro because it contains semi-private info about one of Toto’s family members that is revealed by the interviewer and I feel like Toto wouldn’t want that info reaching a wide audience given how private he is about that specific area of his life and I want to respect that. There are also some breaks in the recording for when my connection died (nothing major but it’s a thing). I’ve also done a break down of the Webinar by subject if you don’t feel like listening to the entire hour and just want highlights on specific things.

On Drive to Survive

1. He didn’t initially want to join DTS because it reminds him of a circus but he changed his mind when a friend of his asked for tickets to a race because they had watched DTS. That changed his stance.

On the 2022 Car performance

3. Toto explains that they underestimated the porpoising because it doesn’t appear on tests conducted in the wind tunnel (they can’t get the car up to speeds of 350km/h) so it doesn’t show up on the data. They could strengthen the floor of the car but then they lose downforce so they would prefer an alternate solution. 

4. If the car doesn’t perform how it should in Barcelona (10 days), they may have to revert to a more conventional car design (i.e. a car with actual sidepods). Fuckkkkkkk. Good news is that he didn’t say they’d scrap the entire season and focus on next year so that gives me hope.

On The Team’s Culture

5. Toto’s core belief for running Merc is “I don’t run racing cars, I run people that run racing cars.” He believes that if you create a company culture that allows people to communicate freely and empowers them, you lift the standards everyday and that translates directly into performance. So he’s created a system where a mechanic can come up to him directly and let him know that the car design doesn’t work or could be improved etc. 

6. He said that he believes the culture and honesty has to start with him so when they’re debriefing he comes clean. He said he admit a anything from not handling his emotions as he should have to being too controlling and distracting the strategists when they have to decide when to pit the car (Idk if he was speaking about Miami but that came to mind for me).

On Abu Dhabi 2021

7. About Abu Dhabi 2021, he said he would have been happy to lose the WDC if M*x and Redbull were the stronger team but he doesn’t believe that’s what happened. He gave a breakdown of the team’s strategy (they expected the safety car to allow all cars to unlap) and said the race director “freestyled” by putting Lewis in a position he couldn’t defend. He said he felt helpless, like he was a kid and that his destiny was in the hands of someone who had “lost the plot”. A 6’5”, at the time, 49 year old man said Michael Masi made him feel like a kid. Y’all, I was on stage surrounded by the president of my university and I nearly burst into tears on stage. I can’t imagine how awful that felt.

8. He thought there was a way to get Lewis the championship legally but realized that people move on and don’t want to win the championship 2 months down the line in court. The images still hurt him and he still can’t watch DTS because of it. He copes with it by saying it’s an F1 race and it’s entertainment. It’s not politics, it doesn’t change people’s lives, it’s a sporting event, so you just have to move on.

On Managing 2 Drivers

9. On dealing with team rivalries and how he intends to handle George and Lewis competing on the same team, he said you could deal with it in 1 of 2 ways. 1) Establish a clear pecking order of who is the priority driver or 2) the more interesting and challenging option is to manage 2 alphas and get the best performance out of both.

10. He described racing drivers as “traumatized kids who were put in a go-kart by their parents at the age of 8 and told to race out there in the rain with each other… and then suddenly you put these traumatized kids in a formula 1 car and you say, ‘now you’re driving for Mercedes’ and you need to perform for the team” SIR PLEASE.

11. He spoke to Alain Prost about managing 2 drivers and Alain explained that the most frustrating thing to deal with as a driver is a lack of transparency (not knowing if the team prioritizes you or the other driver) and so he has tried to be as transparent about his motivations as possible which can be uncomfortable. That means being straight with the drivers, giving team orders when he thinks one driver is leading the championship and while they may agree to disagree at least everything is out in the open.

12. He praises George and Lewis and said they work great together. He said the fact that George and Lewis aren’t competing for wins/championships sucks generally but it actually helps George’s integration to the team and currently works well for team dynamics.

On Managing Drivers on a Psychological Level

13. Toto says that his prior experience as a driver informs him on the psychological pressure drivers have to endure and thinks that anyone in F1 is mentally resilient in the racing car (suck a dick Helmut Marko and associated RBR fans) but doesn’t mean the same applies outside the car. 

14. He thinks that drivers being realistic with their own capabilities and benchmarks for success is integral to their performance.

15. He says his family doesn’t care if he wins or loses at the end of the day. The important thing is that he gives them love and support. He asks himself at the end of the day, “where have I been a fool today and where can I improve” to be a better person and entrepreneur.

On the Changes to the Regulations

16. The interviewer said something interesting. He said that ironically U.S. sporting institutions appear to be more socialist compared to European sporting institutions. They’ve historically had salary caps, they have drafts to produce a form of parity which is a thing that is lacking in European sporting institutions. Lmk if y’all agree.

17. Toto said “The U.S. has socialized sport in order to capitalize on it.” Toto said that f1 is doing the same thing, stopping teams from spending millions of dollars in order to extract 1/10th of a second from the car. He said Merc makes about $550 million in revenue (Jesus wtf) and the cost cap has fundamentally reduced engineering costs from $300 million (also wtaf) to $40 million (still a ridiculous amount) which allows them to make a profit (for the investors) and not just break even. 

18. This means that teams have an easier gap to bridge to the front of the pack and makes for more entertainment and variability (he mentioned Valtteri racing against Lewis and George).

On Investing in F1

19. Toto said that F1 could add 2 more teams but no one has an appetite for it (not the FIA, not F1, not the teams) because it would dilute the prize gains. The only way they would accept the addition of 2 new teams is if they had a really creative way to bring in more revenue and balance out the dilution of the prize fund which no one has done.

20. He said F1 is a very lucrative investment because it has entertainment, live media and tech which are resilient industries and are great for profit. He said there is more demand to join F1 than there is supply. He said no teams or shares are for sale today (which confused me…what is all this talk about Audi and Porsche joining then?) 

21. Toto said that he didn’t have a choice in choosing to be both CEO and team principal when deciding to buy shares in the team. He originally refused to be the CEO because he saw himself strictly as an entrepreneur but Daimler Benz (Mercedes parent company) told him it was a package deal. He says he’s honored and lucky the unconventional (CEO/Team Principal) structure works so well because many other teams have folded due to too much involvement by the parent company. He also says it’s a lot of pressure because the Merc F1 team has a lot of visibility and drives a lot of the sales for the parent Mercedes company.

On Sustainability

22. He says that switching to electric cars is common sense but the infrastructure for it doesn’t exist yet. He said that unlike LA which is urban and has strict environmental rules, other countries aren’t there yet.

23. He said that by 2025, the fuel that will be powering F1 cars will be 100% sustainable fuel that can be found anywhere and carbon neutral (fuel by definition cannot be sustainable, it’s made from dead compacted organisms so he kinda lost me here).

24. Toto said that the lack of sound (think revving engines) in more sustainable cars will be interesting because F1 is inherently an audiovisual sport. People automatically think louder cars are faster but he thinks that is changing. He said his kids, Benedict and Rosie, thought he was nuts for enjoying the sound of his car in a tunnel, so opinions are changing.

On getting a job in F1

25. They’re always looking for good people. Rigor and grades are important but who you are also fundamentally matters (that’s such a dad answer lmao). Your passion for the sport and outside interests matter. He said he gets emails from enthusiastic kids all the time.

26. He said that the Social Media Marketing position they advertised a couple of months ago got over 4,000 applications (sorry to all the people that applied and didn’t get it).

On Women and Diversity in f1

27. He talked about Susie being the last woman to race an F1 car on a race weekend and that she has influenced him. He believes starting at the grassroots level in karting will improve diversity. He said that Susie’s FE team is more than 50% female (yay!) and so he encourages women and girls to try it out especially because as he said, F1 is a robust business.

28. He said “women are much more stable in terms of mental resilience”. 

29. He says the sport has historically been male and white dominated and diversifying the sport (in terms of gender, race, ethnicity, religion etc) is very close to his heart because it translates to diverse perspectives and better performance.

On Niki Lauda

30. He called Niki a strong figure who he used to butt heads with a lot because he was a non-executive chairman and Toto ran the team. It came to a head when Niki extended an olive branch and Toto decided to trust him. He said from there they became like twin brothers. No one could interfere with them (except maybe Toto’s son Benedict). He missed Niki as a friend, an advisor, a mascot, someone who could suggest crazy ideas and not be seen as irrational.

31. Niki was always very unemotional, always rational and pragmatic and claimed he had no friends because of it. He said that after a race, he and Niki went out to eat and Toto immediately started talking about the race but Niki told him to shut up. Niki said “I need to tell you something, you know I have no friends”, and Toto is like yeah, you tell me all the time. Niki started getting emotional and said if he laid in a dungeon at night, he wouldn’t be able to reach Toto, then said if there was something like a half-friend, Toto would be his half-friend, then Niki got teary-eyed. I don’t quite get the dungeon analogy but the point is he misses Niki a lot.

On What’s Next

32. Toto said no one is interested in what he’s done in the past. He doesn’t care what’s on his Wikipedia page. Championships are in the past. What matters is he is trying to have an impact on the environment around him, as a father with his family and as an employer with the team.

33. He said that at the beginning of each new season, they revert back to zero and that “currently, we are losing. Fact.” He said what happened 4 months ago is irrelevant and that he’s just trying to look at the future.

34. He said he oscillates between the dance floor and the balcony. The dance floor is (where he is now, trying to run the team and fix the car) and the balcony (is looking at the financial and political future of the team)

Boo! He didn’t answer my question about balancing the ethics of his sponsors with the responsibility of keeping the team afloat financially. Anywho, he looked tired and I don't believe the time difference between LA and Europe helped so it makes sense. Anyways, that’s it folks!

#We'll see how Barcelona goes #Abu Dhabi continues to haunt me #abu dhabi gp 2021 #f1 #formula 1 #toto wolff #lewis hamilton #george russell #valtteri bottas #mercedes amg f1 #mercedes amg petronas #mine

[wrecking]

 keep going “i should make a splat blog” and then every time i go to start it i realize that no one on here cares much about gameplay and map design stuff + with so little time left btwn my school starting and also the game coming out soon there’s like.  very little i feel like i can contribute i guess.  like i’ve noticed a fuckton of gameplay things but only the competitive players are really gonna care.  you know what i’m actually just gonna throw a lot of them under the cut because i don’t even feel like making a proper post about it.  read below if you’re a real #splathead and want more gameplay info i guess.  i tried to include screenshots or links to sources so please see those lol

demo stuff:

 - 26 weapons in it , presumably will have all 12 maps based on the fact it’s 12 hours long with six 2-hour, 2-map rotations*.  presumably we will see how the tri-fest maps work for half of the map roster which is great (assuming they’re random like other splatfest stuff in 2 onwards)

 - you can access the test range in the demo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please let me do this outside of the fest times

* this is a hard read based on the fact they say league rotations will be 2 hours long in the direct.  and also it matches splat 2.

weapon stuff:

 - eshop for demo confirms we’ll be getting a new shooter, roller, and charger + possibly more as post-launch content, in addition to weapon alts

 - speaking of, it seems at least gold dynamo & gold aerospray are in the base game, the latter of which uses booyah bomb in the trailer

you can miss it if you don’t look close, but it is here! (booyah bomb footage in the direct)

it’s him!

 - the wiki is wrong in that it says gold dynamo has tacticooler when it’s actually silver dynamo (and they would know that if they watched the japanese site’s gameplay footage (here’s a link to the video directly rather than to the site bc i don’t have it on hand, it has no audio) because it has direct feed gameplay which is nice)  - despite them pushing angle shooter as a replacement for point sensor, the press kit shows point sensor is BACK and on squiffer.  all the more interesting is that for some reason both jet squelcher and splattershot pro have the angle shooter, like y’all really couldn’t give one of them it ...?

press kit screenshot

i turned up the contrast on this one but it’s otherwise a direct screenshot of the weapon section so

not gonna screenshot existing weapon kits but in 1 both squiffer and (forge) pro had point sensor, in 2 both squiffer and default pro had point sensor, and now in 3 they’re... giving one of them angle marker.  alongside another long range shooter.  weird.

 - the press kit also shows autobombs (on seemingly blaster, possibly able to throw 2 in a single tank) which you could spot very briefly in the hud for tetra dualies during the tri-fest footage, and beakons (my actual enemy) back on dapple dualies again.  it also shows us rapid blaster pro which has the orange nozzle which is new to both of them for this game!

from the direct, note the autobomb sub

presskit screenshot sorry it’s lower quality than the rest

beakons... go away if they’re like they are in 2 on god

rapid blaster in 3.  note the orange.  also run octoling boy run it’s gonna get you!!!

rapid blaster pro... idk abt the orange nozzle but it’s a thing i guess

 - hydra splatling has booyah bomb, which is terrifying.  many have also pointed out glooga dualies having wall + booyah, much like kensa .52 gal 🥴 just what we needed more of

yeah it would get 11 kills huh

 - splashdown is inexplicably in the story mode, which actually tracks with how nintendo was experimenting with having seeker appear exclusively in 2′s single player.  i wonder if it’ll be in salmon run actually?

image for those too lazy to click the link

 - i still have yet to see anyone talk about how this weapon is just unrecognizable, like what is it.  (from the weapon shop section of the direct)

EDIT

thank you to @hero-octoling​ who pointed me to the fact this might actually be BLOBLOBBER.  one of the last weapons with no visual confirmation at all- consider the following evidence:

- also idk if anyone has noticed but L-3, H-3 nozzlenose, and squeezer are shown in the direct as well but exclusively as badges.  flingza roller is also here but it’s in the replay results, it has tenta missles like foil in 2.

H-3 has a new design and this person apparently sucks with it  also bonus:

hero shot replica, which i guess confirms it’ll be unlockable again.  no other hero weapons show up though.

map stuff:

 - makomart seems to be the same, in the icon shown first, the lighting was DRASTICALLY darker, but is fixed later in the direct and in promo screenshots.  weird

direct map reveal screenshot

 press release screenshot

- wahoo is also inconsistently changed in that the big curved wall near middle seems to be missing in some footage, i know it goes away in certain modes it goes away but it’s all turf war footage presumably.  also its early icon features grey metallic central walls.  it also has additional changes in the big run footage shown, such as a block leading up onto the wavy platforms near middle, the middle walls being removed, and a ramp leading into upper spawn that’s normally inaccessible during turf

the metallic walls icon

press kit screenshot

one picture of it from big run, showing a new path into spawn

 - museum d’alfonsino has changed drastically from the first trailer, which was almost an exact 1:1 of it’s splat 1 layout (sole exception being its 2 rotaries on either side near middle, which had 2 arms instead of 3 [#1 in screenshots]) - the new layout has a bunch of changed things including new uninkable areas over gaps near the middle of the map [#2], several walls have been changed to be entirely glass [#3], the spawn rotaries are completely missing [#4], and several other areas of spawn are different [#5]

splatoon 1 screenshot

early splatoon 3 footage

new splatoon 3 press release screenshot (there’s more changes i didn’t note tbh)

you can see the #2 platform a little here from the opponent’s side

 - hammerhead bridge is fundamentally unrecognizable, mahi-mahi is at least vaguely similar in middle and gimmick, but otherwise both maps have changed so much that they are new maps more or less. (not putting pics for this just go look for yourself)  - inversely of this, inkblot is so unchanged they only showed a single HQ screenshot of it, and barely ANY footage.  OH IM SORRY THERES A *SINGLE* CHANGE.  the grey rectangle you can use near middle has been changed to something closer to a cube.  that’s it.  layout wise it is otherwise identical.

splatoon 2 moment

splatoon 3... the way it is barely different

mode stuff:  - league has “special modes” which sendou thinks could mean 2v2v2v2 turf wars, which i think would be dope.  each map is presumably going to have 4 spawns possible now to accommodate for this so like come on nintendo!!!

 - rainmaker now functions seemingly as you needing to run to Any podium that isn’t the one at the end, and then the KO podium unlocks.  the footage in undertow (hudless so we can’t see how checkpoints work exactly here) shows the player skipping one, and the third not being unlocked until the player reaches the “second” one.  the hammerhead footage shows the player running the rainmaker from middle to a checkpoint at 77, and then the one that KOs at 0 opening after that.  the hud matches this.

i’m not gonna bother notarizing this, nor going over the hudless undertow spillway footage.  just go look it up it’s the “post-launch content” section of the direct.

salmon run stuff:  - there are 7 specials confirmed for it which is interesting (among the new ones are wave breaker and booyah bomb... the former of which feels weird and the latter is just funny to have in SR imo) they could also add one more- ultra stamp (edit: OR splashdown) to bring it up to a round 8.

not gonna post every pic but i’ll post these 2 just because they’re relevant and don’t get much highlight, inkjet and- the shark special that i still don’t remember the name of- are also newly added via this direct.

wave breaker

booyah bomb (also new booyah prompt)

 - you can use the scales obtained from SR to customize your work outfit which is so nice (just gonna post the images but these are both on the english site)

 - there’s also a salmon run test range lobby thing with test dummies which are cute

etc.:  - speaking of the test range thing, what is this????  i have nothing else to say abt it like what IS it.

 - changing mains means now we have chunks of every ability in the game.  i’m personally wondering if they’ve changed how the “exclusive” abilities work so that you can stack them like normal abilities & have them as subs, but idk about that.

technically this is just a demonstration yes but also they are literally showing Respawn Punisher being used as a chunk here to go into that last sub slot.  also Opening Gambit is there i guess.

ok that’s it that’s all i got.  hope u all enjoyed xxoo

#d #splatoon #splatoon 3 #s

[tibli]

My findings on the new Welcome Home site update:

Hey, this list is NOT exhaustive, and i still haven’t found the links for 2-14, 3-14, 5-14, 7-14, and 8-14 (i’m assuming they exist, but i can’t seem to locate them, and i’m not sure which letter combos to use)

I believe there’s something with the worksheet on the exhibition page, so i tried a link using the first letter of every answer (bspjw) but that didn’t work. backwards didn’t work either, and i’m not keen on sifting through every possible permutation.

in the “just so” audio, wally says “i don’t mind when you reorder my crayons” but in the transcript it says ‘steal’ instead of ‘reorder’. that may just be a mistake that wasn’t caught, but i thought it was worth noting.

Okay, so with that out of the way, here are the links i HAVE discovered so far. If anyone wants to add to it, that’d be great!

(note: i’m guessing the links with words are meant to form a sentence, but i’m not sure if i’ve even found them all so i haven’t tried constructing it)

/soon

/i

/a

/i-2

/will

/will-2

/find

/phone

/understand

/help

/1-14-ph

/4-14-bf

/6-14-jf

/9-14-fp    (curiously, poppy mentions how one usually eats with their eyes first. and most of us probably know about how wally eats by now. also, the letters definitely indicate character names, but idk what the numbers mean yet)

/10-14-js (sally mentions going so far off script that she doesn’t know where they are anymore. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................................... also did she call him wallifer?? lmao)

/11-14-jb

/12-14-hb

/13-14-he

#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home spoilers