#idk what else to tag this with but i need everybody to see it Now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lincolndjarin · 4 months

Text

Not So Secret Santa

javier peña x fem!reader

this is a part of the @pedrostories gift exchange!!

summary : you get the only person you didn't want for your offices secret santa.

warnings/tags : 18+ mdni, enemies/friends to lovers, canon divergence, steve is your boss/close friend, reader and javier have a complicated relationship, reader is insecure, brief mentions of alcohol, porn with plot, smut, light angst, javier and reader fight physically but it's very light with no actual injury, masturbation, semi-public sex, p in v, idk how to properly tag this but javi likes boobs in this so he touches boobs, unprotected sex (don't do this, wrap it this holiday season), use of a makeshift gag, rough yet very loving sex because it's christmas and christmas magic means i can write what i want.

tldr : you and javi have sex in his office and you put his tie in his mouth to shut him up.

word count : 4.4k

✦ : merry christmas @taro-666 !!! i'm your secret santa !!! i hope you're well this holiday season and i hope you enjoy this fic !! i haven't written much peña, despite how much i love him so i hope i did him justice and i hope you have a wonderful holiday <3 <3 (also sorry this is a little late (20 minuetes left before midnight so we're good). i was out with family all day and was only just now able to get to my laptop, i promise i didn't forget about you lmao)

no use of y/n, reader has hair and painted nails & javier sort of half picks her up at one point, nothing else is described besides clothing.

lovely dividers by @saradika-graphics

“Please, Steve, I’ll give you a week's pay.” You lean across his desk, genuine desperation in your voice after an hour of begging.

“Not gonna happen.” He doesn’t even bother looking up from his computer.

“A month.” Your voice is starting to pitch up, something similar to anguish in your tone. Your offer finally gets a reaction out of him as his eyes widen, head tilting up.

“Jesus, you can’t be serious.” He’s examining your expression, trying to determine the sincerity of your claim.

“My entire Christmas bonus.”

“Okay, stop.” He sighs, giving you a sympathetic look. “We’re not allowed to switch.”

“When did you become such a stickler for the rules?” You cross your arms in front of your chest.

“It’s just a secret Santa. He’s our friend, whether you like it or not, you two are close and this shouldn’t be this big of a deal, now go, please, I need to finish up here so I can leave at a reasonable hour.” He loosens his tie as you sigh.

“It’s not just a secret Santa, Steve. It’s an opportunity for him to tell me that I once again didn’t do something right. No matter what I get him, it isn’t going to be good enough.” Even as you’re saying it you can see that he isn’t going to change his mind about this.

“He’s a dick to everybody. That’s inevitable, it just means he’s comfortable with you.” He’s already turning back to his work.

“Please, Steve.”

“No.”

You glare down at him, giving him your angriest look as his gaze tilts back up to meet yours.

When it’s clear that he isn’t going to switch you turn and leave, slamming his office door in the process.

“Don’t forget, I need you here early to help set up for the party!” His muffled voice seeps out into the hall as you walk away.

Once you’re out in your car and far away from prying eyes you unfold the damned slip of paper you’d drawn earlier today.

Javier P.

Of course, you got stuck with fucking Peña, a nickname you’d given him a few months ago. He absolutely hates it but the entire time you’ve worked for the DEA he’s gone out of his way to bother you. Sure, he’s your “friend”, in a strange, complicated way. But he still drives you up the wall with his constant need to one up you and the way he’s constantly making passes at women around the office.

And it’s not like you have any problems with him sleeping around, lord knows you’ve had a fair amount of one night stands, but he just has to hit on every woman you work with.

Every single woman, except you.

You’d never admit it of course but a part of you will always be self conscious about that fact. It doesn’t help that Javier absolutely adores bothering you at every possible moment. He loves nothing more than to pester, annoy, and mock you, spending nearly half his day leaning over your desk despite the million complaints you’ve sent Steve about his persistent partner.

He’ll sit on your desk, doing an endless amount of things to cause you distress. Like crowding you with his cigarette smell and vanilla cologne as he tells you you’re filling papers wrong, or telling you what colors to paint your nails, or solving your cases before you can even get to them, or teasing you about your shitty car. Today he wouldn’t stop bothering you about your weekend plans like he doesn’t already know exactly where you’ll be.

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” He’d asked with that devastating smirk and eyebrow raise combo.

“I have to go buy my secret Santa gift, just like everyone else.” You’d turned away, avoiding eye contact as he scoffed.

“What about Saturday?” He continued to pry, you wanted nothing more than to shove his perfect ass off your desk.

“The Christmas party, Javi. Just like everyone else.” You had sighed, squeezing the bridge of your nose as Emilia had walked past your desk. Javier immediately forgot your entire conversation as he turned to her.

“I love your nails.” He’d pushed his hair out of his face, holding his hand out to take hers, getting a closer look at the well manicured designs.

You had tuned out after that. Not wanting to be involved in the exchange as you went back to typing. Acutely aware of your own nails.

Red chipped paint.

You couldn’t help but wonder what it must be like to be the object of his affection.

It wouldn’t matter if he did hit on you, you would probably reject him anyway.

Probably.

It doesn’t matter, it’s never gonna happen so why let it bother you?

With a sigh you toss the paper into your cup holder, reaching to turn on the radio, maybe some Christmas music will make you feel better. Of course nothing happens as you turn up the volume knob but it makes you want to scream regardless.

Stupid fucking Peña.

Stupid broken radio, stupid shitty car.

“Fuck.” You mumble under your breath as you shift into drive.

Before you know it you’re back in your car in the DEA office parking lot, this time a few things are different though.

You’re dressed nicer, trading your slacks in for a skirt and your dress shirt for a sweater. And of course you now have a small wrapped box in your lap.

Since you had yesterday off for the holiday you spent your Friday at the mall, searching for a gift for Javier. Eventually you had settled on three little things; Nicotine gum, mostly because you’ll get more work done if he isn’t constantly dragging you outside for his smoke breaks. He complains too much about going alone and it’s always been easier not to argue, now he can stay at your desk with his gum. Beard oil, the fancy stuff he always insists on using in his mustache. You’d bought him the wrong kind last year for his birthday and you still haven’t heard the end of it. And a lighter, you had to beg the shop owner to make an exception and do a same day engraving of his birthday.

Jesus.

You know way too much about him.

You arrived two hours early as requested by Steve to help him set up. With the wrapped box tucked under your arm you anxiously tap the patterned wrapping paper with your freshly manicured nails.

“You should paint your nails green, I love green.” He had said through a drag of his cigarette.

Why did you let that idiot's opinions influence this decision? You feel foolish. The green chrome polish shimmering in the street lights in the parking lot as you step into the building. You had extra time while you were waiting for the engraving and you just couldn’t help yourself when the salon was just a few stores away. The image of Javier holding your hand and examining your painted nails while telling you how nice they looked was just too tempting. Maybe he’d even ask if you did it just for him, and you could drag him into a closet at the party, the exact situation you watched unfold last year. Except in that scenario you weren’t the lucky lady he’d run off with that night.

There’s no time to be thinking like that.

You shake off whatever filth you were imagining as you look around the hectic mess of garland and glitter.

Steve is already stressing, setting up tables as you set your gift under the tree before getting to work. The office is already mostly decorated but with his new position as supervisor Steve is insistent that everything be perfect his first Christmas in charge. So you plate food, and you mix drinks exactly as he wants them, and you hold the ladder steady when he insists on putting more lights up. When you’ve got about a half an hour before guests start arriving you’re finishing up and last minute touches, the two of you crowded around a drink tower.

The tension from your conversation yesterday seems to have fizzled out as you become engrossed in your work, when you’ve both finished he gives you an appreciative look.

“Thank you, seriously, it means a lot.” You help him adjust his tie as he straightens out his shirt.

“Anytime, although I’m surprised you didn’t just ask Javier.” You pat his shoulder as you finish, brushing a stray blonde hair out of his eyes.

He laughs, a nervous chuckle that makes you raise an eyebrow but when you open your mouth to comment on it he lets out a relieved sigh as the first of your coworkers arrive.

More people show up than you could have expected.

You stay near Steve for most of the beginning until he gets dragged away by one of the higher ups who had made an appearance, leaving you alone to sip your drink against the back wall. You hum along to a Christmas song that plays loud enough to drown out any conversation you might eavesdrop on to entertain yourself in his absence, your eyes scan the crowds as you try to match up the people you work with with their spouses.

You’re getting ready to find another group to talk to when you catch a glimpse of him standing against the opposite wall, talking to Bonnie, the woman who works in the cubicle next to yours.

Fucking Peña. Dressed in a stupidly tight green dress shirt.

You should leave them alone, especially if he’s trying to make a move on her. But you can’t help it as you make your way around the room towards them, a vague sense of jealousy settling in your stomach.

String lights twinkle across the ceiling of the office, creating a warm ambience throughout the space, just as you’re about to tap him on the shoulder you overhear their conversation.

“I had to beg Steve to switch with me, took an hour of convincing and a week's paycheck but it’ll be worth it to see the look on her face.” His back is to you as he leans in closer to Bonnie.

He’s probably talking about one of the other women from the office. Steve probably had someone Javier was trying to impress and that’s why Steve didn’t want to trade with you, he had already promised his pick to Javier.

Whatever, you can’t be too bothered about that. It does make you want to return to your spot on the other side of the room but you don’t get the chance to as the music is turned down rather suddenly.

One of the secretaries, Benjamin, stands on a chair, making an announcement that it’s time to do the secret Santa. You manage to twist through the crowds so Javier never sees you, finding his gift and bringing it to where he now stands, simultaneously keeping an eye out for your own gift.

You hand him the box, watching the way his face lights up.

“You picked me?” He grins as you nod, carefully peeling back the wrapping paper as you feel a tap on your shoulder. Benjamin waits behind you, leaning in to whisper while you watch Javier open his gift.

“It was short notice so we didn’t have time to get you a back up gift but your secret Santa told us at the last minute that he forgot to get you something, he promised to bring in something after New Years, I’m so sorry.” You feel a little disappointed as he murmurs but it isn’t that big of a deal, it’s a busy time of year and people can forget things.

“No worries, do you know who it was? I’d like to at least tell them it’s fine.” You turn away from Javier as he smiles at the nicotine gum, Benjamin's eyes flicker from your face to Javier’s before he gives you a sympathetic look, walking away.

Javier traded for your name?

As your head tilts to look at him now you can see the smirk he’s now sporting.

“ …but it’ll be worth it to see the look on her face.”

Javier had made a conscious effort to get your name just so he could not get you something.

Huh.

That doesn’t feel great. The look he gets to see on your face is betrayal and then just sadness. You don’t really care what the reason for his decision is, you turn and walk away from him regardless. If he tries to say something to you it’s drowned out by the music that starts once again.

Why are you so upset over some stupid joke? If it had been anyone else you wouldn’t have cared, you’d have brushed it off as a harmless accident but this wasn’t an accident.

Maybe he didn’t really think of you as a friend.

Maybe all of the teasing and one-upmanship really was from a place of animosity and you were just too blind and too infatuated to see it. You want to cry but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction so you sift through the bowl of keys, searching for the Star Wars keychain attached to your lanyard but you can’t find it. The combination of the blaring Christmas songs with the frustration you’re currently feeling only makes you more emotional.

You don’t want to go to the bathrooms where you might run into someone and you can’t go to Steve’s office because he might be talking to his supervisor, so you go to the only place you know there won’t be people.

Javier’s office.

You walk as quickly as you can, slipping inside as you slam the door shut behind you, clicking the lock in place before turning around, resting against the door as you feel tears spilling from your eyes. It isn’t until he clears his throat that your head snaps up.

Today is just not your day.

Did he know you’d come here? How the hell did he beat you here? He’s fidgeting with the lighter you bought him, watching it light and go out as he sits with your keys in his other hand.

Your face feels hot as you take in the sight of him.

“Give me my keys.” You hold your hand out, wiping your eyes with the other as you wait. Of course he doesn’t hand them over, that would be too easy and today is insisting on being difficult.

“I really liked your gift. Seriously, this is… outrageously thoughtful.” He murmurs, seemingly unaware of your mood until he takes a closer look at you, his expression shifting as he realizes your eyes are rimmed with red. “Why are you so upset? What happened?” He slides open a drawer, tossing your keys into his desk while you consider calling a cab.

What a foolish question.

How could he possibly not know?

“I want to leave, I’m sick of this party.” You turn to leave, maybe Steve can drive you home.

“Come on, the parties barely started.” He’s on his feet, he doesn’t try to corner you, if anything he sets himself against the wall.

“And I want to leave.” When you reach for the doorknob he grabs your wrist, holding it as he stares at you, a look of impatience crosses his face.

“Don’t tell me you’re mad about the secret Santa.” His brows furrow.

“This isn’t about a stupid secret Santa.”

“It sure seems like it is.” He’s still holding your wrist, why is he still holding your wrist?

This isn’t about the secret Santa. It’s a lot more than that, and after ages of keeping your thoughts to yourself in front of him you just let it out.

“This is about the fact that you don’t even care about me enough to make any sort of effort. I know you deliberately chose me, you specifically chose to do this to me and I don’t care that it’s just a stupid prank. It still- It’s still a shitty thing to do.” Your voice starts cracking half way through and you can feel your eyes welling up again but it doesn’t matter anymore, you were wrong, the two of you aren’t friends.

“So this is about the secret Santa.”

Of course he wouldn’t get it.

“You’re an idiot.” You finally pull your wrist from him.

You aren’t sure what else to do so you shove him, his back hitting the wall with a soft thud as you push past him to get to his desk, hoping to grab your keys but he catches your waist first.

“Can you stop being so stubborn for five seconds and just let me explain myself?” You can tell his patience is wearing thin, his voice is strained as he pulls you back against him, caging you against his chest with his arms.

“Fuck Javi- let me go-” You try to kick his knees but he anticipates it, shifting his legs to avoid you.

“Just wait- listen to me.” He swings you around a bit as he tries to still you, you can feel his breath hitching, the buttons of his shirt digging into your back. The two of you thrash around for another moment until you freeze, feeling something poking your hip. When he realizes why you stopped putting up a fight he lets you go in an instant. “Shit- I-I’m sorry.” He stammers as you turn around towards him, eyes wide.

You never thought you’d see Javier Peña flustered yet here he is. When you take a step back his cheeks are burning red, his fingers twitch nervously at his side, and as much as you try to ignore it, his pants are tighter than usual. (And considering how tight they usually are this is quite a feat.) He won’t look you in the eye.

“It- It’s fine, Javi.” You adjust the hem of your skirt, trying to fix your hair. You just can’t catch a break today. “It was an accident, there was a lot of- of friction and it happens. I think I should just go.” You stutter a bit trying to find the right words. This entire evening has been catastrophic, and you’re more than ready to call it a night.

“It’s not an accident.” He mumbles, finally looking at you, not bothering with subtlety as he adjusts himself. “You should probably go.”

If it’s not an accident you don’t want to go.

You want to stay and keep making accidents, starting with rushing forward into him, taking his face in your hands and kissing him. Which is exactly what you do. At first he doesn’t react and you worry you read the situation wrong but when you pull away, just an inch, his hands envelop you.

Hips, waist, back, shoulders, hair. He’s everywhere, all consuming as his teeth graze your lips, in an instant your backside hits his desk.

When he finally does remove his lips from yours his are slick and a tiny bit swollen, his pupils swallow his irises whole.

“I loved your gift, I wasn’t joking, it’s perfect and the last thing I want is for you to think that I don’t care about you. Of course we’re friends, you-” As he rambles on you ball up the end of his tie, unceremoniously shoving it between his teeth.

“Talk later, this now.” You grab the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up over your head, watching his jaw tense at the sight of your chest, his hands playing with the strap of your bra as you hop up onto his desk. Hiking your skirt up, he slots himself between your legs, your own fingers push your panties to the side as he reaches behind you, easily twisting the clasp of your bra to release it, tossing it to the side as his enormous palms engulf your breasts.

You dip your fingers into the wetness between your legs, briefly taking a moment to wonder how you found yourself here. Just moments ago you were ready to leave and consider your friendship with Javier over, yet now you’re spread out on his desk, on display for him as you sink your fingers into your eager cunt.

You don’t get to linger on the thought for long because he groans into the fabric of his tie and you’re pulled back into the moment.

Jesus you’re soaked.

You have no trouble pushing two slick digits into yourself. You can feel the outline of him against your thigh and you know that you need to warm yourself up to take him. He’s too engrossed in your tits to do it right now and you’ve waited too long for this, you don’t want to wait, you just want to have him.

He’s tender at first, squeezing and softly tracing the outline of your areola until he seemingly can’t control himself any longer and he pinches, rolling your nipples between his thumb and pointer finger as your whine. Back arching of the oak of his desk as you curl your own fingers. Even through the tie his moans are still somehow louder than yours, you’re briefly worried about someone hearing as you let out a whimper while he tweaks your nipple but the music’s so loud at the party you can hear Mariah Carey from here.

You don’t stop for a second, putting your focus on reaching the peak that you find yourself already getting startlingly close to. You can feel yourself pulsing as you pick up the pace, reveling in the way his eyes devour the very sight of you. You’re agonizingly close when he grabs your wrist, removing your fingers carefully as you try and resist, wanting to finish what you started, you’re about to whine when he begins unzipping his pants. You can feel your pussy clenching at the very sight of him, of course he isn’t wearing any underwear under his dress pants so the second his zipper is fully down his cock springs free.

Javier fucking Peña has a gorgeous cock.

Standing stiff and proud without either one of you even having to touch it. Pretty and pink on the tip, already leaking down the shaft. And heavy, as he takes it in his hand, his other hand gripping your waist as lines himself at your entrance. He takes a moment, eyes scanning your face, silently asking for permission.

You can’t nod fast enough but the second that you do he slides into you.

You could never conjure up something this good in your fantasies. The way he fills you, stretching you open as he whimpers into the fabric of his tie, you like that he listened, that he kept it in his mouth this long. His strokes are needy and fast, like he’s been waiting for this for so long and now he can’t help but be ravenous. You were already painfully close before he filled you with his perfect cock, it takes only a few minutes for you to be right back there. His fingers dig into your waist so hard that you’re certain he’ll leave marks as he slams in and out of you, pulling out almost entirely with every thrust.

You’re vaguely aware of the sound of his trinkets rolling off his desk and onto the floor.

“Javi, Javi, Javi.” Between gasps you chant his name, the sound encouraging him as he pushes in deep, his pelvis grinding against your clit until you see stars. Your cunt clenching around him as your orgasm is ripped out of you. Messy and loud and blurry, he fucks you through it. You’re so blissed out you can barely focus on the persistent pounding into you until you manage to come back to your senses and his hands leave your waist, instead intertwining with your fingers as his hips twitch forward and you feel him hastily pull out of you.

He spits his tie out, opting to instead bite your shoulder as he comes, the groan that leaves his throat is obscene. Raspy and filthy as he collapses down on top of you, the two of you sweating and gasping amongst the paperwork and pens now scattered across his desk.

Did that really just happen?

He manages to collect himself first, leaning back and tucking himself into his pants before quickly tending to you. He grabs a few tissues, wiping your stomach where the product of your activities lay, before redressing you, slipping the flats that had slipped off, back onto your feet, pulling your skirt back down to cover you as he slides your panties back into place, and retrieving your bra and sweater, lifting you into a sitting position as he redresses you, kissing your cheeks, nose, and forehead the entire time.

“All good?” He whispers, gentler than you’ve ever heard him as you nod, grinning.

“Good enough to make me forgive you for not getting me a present.” You reach into his drawer, grabbing your keys before sliding off of his desk.

“Maybe this was your present.” He tilts his head, kissing you again, smiling all the while.

“That was the perfect gift then.” Probably the best you’ve ever gotten.

“Are you gonna stay for the rest of the party?” He takes your hands in his, his thumbs absentmindedly rubbing circles into your skin.

“I think I need to go to bed after that.” You laugh as you jingle your keys, turning towards the door as he catches your lips in another kiss.

It makes your heart flutter. The continued affection makes you think this isn’t a one time thing. You want more. You want conversations about feelings, and to talk about what just happened, you want to feel him inside you again, and the look in his eyes tells you that you’re going to get all of that. But right now you’re tired, so the rest can wait.

“Can I walk you to your car?” You nod as he murmurs.

He doesn’t let go of your hand, walking you out of the building towards your car, opening the door for you and giving you one last kiss with a promise that he’d call you tomorrow, before you watched him walk back into the building.

Your phone buzzes as you turn your key in the ignition, the sound of Wham! fills the car, Last Christmas playing softly. You take your phone out of your pocket, checking the text notification from Javier.

[ i forgot to tell you how pretty your nails are. merry christmas hermosa ]

Your head turns up in surprise as you realize your radio is working. A new radio system is installed in the center of your dashboard, with a little green bow taped to the top, and a paper tag with Javi’s familiar messy handwriting.

from : your secret fucking santa

a/n : happy holidays everyone!!

#pedrostoriesgift23 #lincolndjarin #taro-666 <3 #javier pena smut #javier peña #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal

1K notes · View notes

maplesyrupsainz · 5 months

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙coz i cant sleep in hotel rooms | CL16˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x singer y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship, relationship on the rocks

warnings: mentions of substances, a sad one sorryy tehe

summary: in which break up rumours circulate during a rough patch in their relationship

a/n: hii i feel like i could do a part 2 to this coz i cant leave my y/n like this

song

my masterlist

part 2!!!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, arthur_leclerc, and 50,219 others

yourusername solitude 🧘‍♀️

view all 7,183 comments

user1 IS THAT SONG LYRICS?

user2 is everything ok at home y/n lol

arthur_leclerc ❤️

liked by yourusername

user3 where is charles 😭

lilymhe missing your pretty face

yourusername miss you so so much

user4 mom where's dad

twitter ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user5, user2, and 9,938 others

ynupdates following an instagram post and tweet from y/n's own accounts along with no sightings together for 2 weeks, it's rumoured that y/n and boyfriend of 2 years f1 driver charles leclerc have split. sources close to the couple speculate it is due to their conflicting schedules which has put a strain on the relationship. we are sending our y/n/n all the love in the world right now ❤️‍🩹

view all 4,583 comments

user8 there's no way

user9 well at least the album is going to slap..

user10 I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE

user11 i wont believe it until it's confirmed. it is so disrespectful to speculate on ppls private lives like this

user12 i feel like if he really loved her then conflicting schedules wouldnt matter 😕

user13 hit me right in the parasocial relationship

user14 everybodys up and left & i can barely catch my breath 😭😭

user15 this city's fine but im eternally unsatisfied 😭😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbff, and 42,839 others

yourusername a couple more tequilas n i'll tell u how im feelin

tagged: yourbff, lilymhe

view all 5,384 comments

lilymhe love having fun with u

yourusername ty for cheering me up🥹

user16 the overkill lyric im not crying u are

arthur_leclerc dont think u need any more tequila

lilymhe let my girl live!

yourusername leclerc men love telling me what to do !

user17 IS THAT SHADE

yourbff i love u my girl foreverrr ♾️

yourusername i love u more my dearest 💗

twitter ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 698,383 others

charles_leclerc ☔️

tagged: arthur_leclerc

view all 8,945 comments

pierregasly where have u been that it's raining

charles_leclerc well london of course

user20 LONDON?? visiting y/n??

arthur_leclerc very cool very aesthetic

charles_leclerc well of course this is my instagram isnt it

user21 good luck in the next race charles ❤️❤️

user22 where's y/n

user23 blink twice if u need help

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, lilymhe, landonorris, and 4,385 others

yourbff is everything ok?

yourusername jus going thru something 🤔

yourbff i noticed

lilymhe u will be ok

yourusername i will but what about us

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, billieeilish, and 76,385 others

yourusername my song ‘ghost me’ is available to stream now on all platforms. i hope u like it ❤️

view all 6,183 comments

lilymhe i would never ghost u 👻

liked by yourusername

yourbff this 1 hurt i cant lie

landonorris beautiful as ever

user24 lando shooting his shot

pierregasly you are so talented y/n 🤍

user25 if u try to ghost me & quit being in my life dont u dare 😭😭

user26 kinda thought that i could handle the distance 😭😭

user27 if this isnt referencing her & charles living in different countries then idk

charles_leclerc ❤️

comment deleted by charles_leclerc

user28 did anyone else see that

messages ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user18, charles_leclerc, and 3,102 others

ynupdates y/n spotted at the airport in the early hours of the morning!

tagged: yourusername

view all 895 comments

user29 omg do u think she could be travelling to monaco for the gp this weekend??

ynupdates 🤞🤞

user30 CHARLES LIKED????

user31 charles liking this oh she is definitely going to monaco to see him

user32 this gives me hope😭

user33 my parents are still together my parents are still together my parents are still together

user34 did anyone talk to her??

ynupdates apparently she was in a rush & had a covid mask covering most of her face

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, and 35,538 others

yourusername ✈️ ...

tagged: lilymhe, yourbff

view all 2,471 comments

yourbff im so giddy

yourusername u love being dragged around the world by me

yourbff so fr i do

lilymhe my best girls in the world!!

yourusername i am so glad to have met u

user35 i love their friendship

user36 y/n are you in monaco for the gp🥹

user37 she would never miss charles' home race imo

user38 ur glowing y/n 🫶

f1wagupdates

liked by user12, user32, and 5,933 others

f1wagupdates ferrari driver charles leclerc & long term musician girlfriend y/n y/l/n seen outside a restaurant tonight arguing. their relationship has been rumoured to be on the rocks recently – is this the end for them? source says they couldn't hear the entire conversation but heard snippets, click the link in our bio for all information.

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc

view all 1,843 comments

user39 this is so disrespectful

oliviarodrigo give them some privacy jesus christ

user40 omg hi olivia

user41 y/n was overheard saying she cant do it anymore 😭😭

user42 my heart is breaking for y/n omg poor girl has always said in interviews that she didn't even want to date long distance but charles made her fall for him 😭😭

user43 omg dont remind me i feel so sick :((

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1updates

liked by user32, user21, and 5,495 others

f1updates ferrari driver charles leclerc has crashed during the monaco grand prix today and has been rushed to seek medical attention. unfortunately no updates at this time.

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 2,953 comments

user48 WHAT OH MY GOD

user49 omg sending my thoughts & prayers :((

user50 😮 i wonder if y/n is with him

user51 it's not about her rn..

user52 poor charles he was racing so well too😭

user53 omg it looked soo terrifying

messages ->

instagram ->

f1wagupdates

liked by user16, user38, and 2,584 others

f1wagupdates y/n y/l/n seen fleeing paparazzi following (ex?) boyfriend charles leclerc's crash in the monaco grand prix. is this the final nail in the coffin for this relationship?

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

comments have been limited on this post

THE END ❤️

850 notes · View notes

tamurilofrivendell · 10 months

Text

Deadly Blush | Thranduil x Reader

Pairing Thranduil/Reader

Read on AO3

Content: idk teasing, smut.

Word Count: 3,840

Prompt: (#2 from this list). It’s in bold in the text below.

Requested by anon.

tags: (if you’ve filled in a form for my taglist and you’re not here it’s because your settings are probably set to hide you from search engines so it will not allow me to tag you!) @firelightinferno, @coopsgirl, @birbixo0912, @desert-fern, @weepingdreammarvel

The only thing that you could focus on, as the Elvenking's deep voice reverberated around the room, was his mouth. You tried not to be so blatant but you could not stop your gaze from dropping to those perfectly shaped lips every time he spoke. The rest of the room seemed unaffected by your staring and by your, truly, quite sinful thoughts. Thranduil himself seemed to not notice and you decided that was a small mercy because you were pretty certain that if he did, you might die.

However, the King was not as clueless as you believed him to be. He could see you quite clearly and, truthfully, you were not very subtle about it. The rest of the council were far too focused upon the words the king was speaking to pay attention, nodding and murmuring their agreement every so often or voicing a question of their own.

When this happened next, an important member of his council drawing everyone else's attention while they brought up a very good point, Thranduil took his chance to play with you a little.

He did not turn his head, he could see you clearly enough without even needing to. His attention appeared to be on the discussion even as his tongue flicked out of his mouth and ran along the length of his lower lip.

He saw the way you shifted in your seat and inwardly smirked, though nothing showed on his face. He remained as stoic as always, his expression a mask of dignity and calm. Inside, he was most amused. The council members all turned back to him and he was quick to snap his mind back into professional mode, answering the question with ease and authority.

The next time everyone's attention was drawn elsewhere, he took his bottom lip between his teeth.

Your face had to be on fire by now, you could feel it, and you desperately hoped that nobody so much as glanced your way. You were only ever in these meetings to take notes and so thankfully it was quite common that nobody paid any attention to you. Sometimes the ignorance bothered you but today you desperately hoped and wished for it.

Just when you thought you'd gotten yourself under control again, heat rushed straight back into your cheeks at the sight of Thranduil lifting his hand to his face and running his finger over his mouth. The gesture was merely thoughtful but your mind took it to an entirely different place.

You ducked your head and then, thankfully, a halt was called to the proceedings and everybody began to stand and leave the room. You decided to stay right where you were with your hair a curtain either side of your face, acting busy with the parchment on your lap, until they had all left the room so there was little chance of them seeing your no doubt ridiculously flushed face.

“You know, I like it when your face is all red.” Thranduil's voice suddenly purred in your ear and you shivered, wondering how he had moved so quickly.

“My lord... please.” You murmured, though you had no idea if you were pleading for him to stop teasing you or for him to make the uncomfortable knotted feeling in your stomach go away.

“Please what?” He leaned in a little closer, ghosting those sinfully soft lips over the shell of your ear before he was gone again, pacing back over to the wine decanter in the corner of the room.

Your heart stuttered in your chest and you finally lifted your head to look at him, wondering if that had even happened at all or if you had imagined it entirely.

"Nothing, I..."

However, Thranduil was talking again and you went quiet. "You know, you seem so awfully interested in my mouth, yet I do not believe you truly heard most of the words that actually left it. I dread to imagine how useless today’s notes must be." He said it so matter-of-factly that you quite literally couldn’t understand how you did not die on the spot.

He had seen you staring at him? Oh, how horrifyingly embarrassing!

You opened your mouth to let out a stream of apologies but he was already talking again, having now turned back around to face you with his wine in his hand. "Perhaps you should rid yourself of such distracting thoughts.”

You blinked and your heart sank, nodding as you lowered your gaze shamefully. He was reprimanding you and you had never felt so low in your whole life. “I... I am so sorry, Aran nin, I...” You could not speak another word. You felt so ashamed, so embarrassed. You fiddled with the corner of the parchment and waited for him to sweep out and leave you here alone while he joined the others for their quick lunch.

A deep chuckle left him as he stared at you, watching you intently. “You misunderstand me.” He said. When you looked up, he lifted the wine chalice to his lips and drank the entire thing down, making you squirm as you waited in confusion for him to explain what it is you have misunderstood.

“My lord?” You had to prompt eventually, when he lowered the now empty glass to the table and licked his lips, his eyes burning holes in your face. Your gaze slipped involuntarily back to his mouth as he did this and your face burned as you forced them back up to his face. He was grinning.

“What I meant,” he finally spoke again. “Was you should rid yourself of these thoughts... by indulging them.”

You blinked dumbly up at him for a long moment. He stared unblinkingly back at you, the hint of a smirk on his face. You swallowed hard. “I, uh... what?” How eloquent, you thought bitterly.

Thranduil chuckled again and he moved across the room towards you. “Well.” He shrugged, reaching out a hand towards you. You took it and he pulled you up onto your feet so you were now standing right in front of him. He was still quite a lot taller than you were and you had to tilt your head. He was quiet a moment longer, studying you, and you could have sworn you saw his eyes soften. “Do you not think,” he continued, his voice soft, seductive, as he lifted his hand and traced his thumb slowly across your bottom lip. Your breath caught in your throat. “That if you were to have what you were so obsessing over that your thoughts might cease...?” His smirk widened. “Hm? You might actually get some work done. I might even be able to use those notes as intended...”

You felt as if the very breath had been stolen from you and your skin felt hot and the knot in your stomach only felt like it was getting more tangled up. You had to be dreaming or hallucinating... but could a hallucination feel quite this solid, you wondered, as his thumb continued to rub gently at your lower lip. His skin was so soft...

Without warning, because you did not move away or show disinterest, he dipped his head and his mouth came down on yours, and you squeaked in surprise. You could feel his amusement as he began to kiss you and for a moment you thought your heart might have stopped altogether before you gathered enough wits to kiss him back, a little timidly. You were kissing the king. Before you could fully get used to this thought, his tongue touched your lips, asking for access, and your mouth opened slightly as if you were about to gasp. Thranduil took the chance immediately and his tongue plunged into your mouth. The sensation, coupled with the taste of him, was overwhelming. He kissed you like this, for a little while, waiting patiently for you to grow less tense as your mind fought to catch up with what was happening here. How your secret, quite lascivious fantasy had somehow become a reality.

Eventually, you managed to get over your intense shock and you began to kiss him with the enthusiasm you had imagined in your mind, and Thranduil hummed a sound of appreciation into your mouth as his tongue battled against your own. He moved his arms and his hands took firm hold of your waist. You made a slightly strangled sound and he made a noise in response that sounded like a laugh.

When he finally broke the kiss, pulling back for air, you gasped in a deep breath and opened your eyes. As you focused in on him, you realised he hadn't moved very far away, his nose still only inches from your own, his hands still grasping at your waist. He was breathing quite heavily and his pupils were dilated as he stared back at you, making his gaze seem dark... and hungry.

There was a long silence and you thought he was going to pull away. He tore his gaze from you long enough to glance at the closed door of the room. You didn't know it but he was trying to figure out if he had enough time before everybody returned to continue the meeting. Enough time for what? You found out a moment later when his lips came crashing back down on your own, his tongue no longer asking as he shoved it into your mouth. You had absolutely no complaints about that, immediately returning to kissing him back, however it was different. There was a greater urgency to his kisses this time and in the next second he had moved you over the floor at lightning speed and your back hit the wall.

He continued to kiss you as one hand moved from your waist and began to slide up under your shirt. You shivered and made an embarrassing squeaking sound that had him pulling back to look at you. He paused, as if realising what he'd done. Thranduil licked his lips, his breathing ragged, and you were certain you had never seen the Elvenking look quite so... out of control.

"Is..." He started but then he stopped, his eyes flicking downward briefly, as if he was unsure of what to say. That couldn't be right. Thranduil was never unsure of what to say. You watched his gaze turn to the door again and then move back to your face and you suddenly understood the question he was trying to ask you. Is this okay? Do you want this? Do you want more? It was absolutely absurd, of course, and you were certain this had to be a sick joke. But the desire in his eyes told a different story and Thranduil may be a lot of things but a liar he isn't.

"Yes." You said, nodding your immediate consent as you stared up at him, your head spinning at the mere idea. "Yes... please." You wanted more, you always did, always had. Now he was... offering it? You could not fathom it but you were not about to say no!

Thranduil studied you for a very long moment, searching your eyes for any hint of uncertainty, but he found none. He growled slightly and his grip on you tightened as he hoisted you up by the waist and pressed you firmly against the wall. Your legs wrapped around him on instinct and your body felt like it was on fire as he attacked your mouth with his once more. He kissed you deeply, thoroughly, though urgently, as if there was not enough time and you realised then why he had kept looking at the door and you understood this would need to be quick. Your heart fluttered in anticipation.

Thranduil kept you pressed to the wall as he slid a hand between your bodies and moved it up under the skirt you’d put on that morning. Luckily, your choice of garments only made this process easier. You moaned into his mouth when, without hesitation, his fingers found that delicious spot between your legs and began to massage, gently at first but his touch became more vigorous. He needn't have really bothered, because you were wet enough already, embarrassingly. Though it only seemed to excite him when he discovered this. All you could do in this moment was keep making muffled sounds of pleasure into his mouth.

Thranduil wished that he could touch you longer, that he had the time to please you properly as he had always longed to do. He had not expected his little game to go quite this far, of course, but he told himself that next time... he would take all the time he wished and pay attention to every inch of you.

He grunted as he reached down and tugged at the laces keeping his trousers in place, pulling himself out and lining up between your legs. A gasp left you as you felt the tip of him against you and you had to pull away from his mouth to process that this was actually happening. He didn’t stop, breathing laboured as he held eye contact with you the entire time he pushed himself inside, watching the way your eyes almost rolled back and your body shuddered with delight.

Then he was moving and you were pretty certain that you had entered heaven. He moved with determination as he took you right there against the wall of the conference room and soon he was practically panting in your ear. You had never thought yourself to be turned on by sounds before but the ones you heard leave him, quiet as they may be as he controlled himself, changed your mind. He moved quickly but not selfishly, his large body pinning you between him and the wall, one hand still between your legs trying to make certain you felt pleasure too. Your legs, which had once been firmly about his waist, began to lose their grip on him.

You were a mess.

There was no other way to put it.

One particularly well aimed thrust caused a loud moan to rip itself from your throat and one of Thranduil’s large hands immediately clamped down over your mouth. You couldn’t help it! You were not as good at controlling yourself as he appeared to be and it felt... so... good.

He smirked as he looked back into your eyes and started to move his hips just that little bit faster, as if reading your thoughts, his hand still firmly over your mouth as you moaned again, the sound muffled, the back of your head tilting back and hitting the wall as your legs began to feel useless around him and your fingers dug into the fabric of his doublet.

Thranduil’s smug expression soon disappeared from his face as he realised that he was getting closer and closer to release. His hand slipped from your mouth, his palm pressing hard against the wall as his thrusts increased slightly, his pace becoming desperate as he drove himself closer, aware that time was running out. You were, of course, much closer and you tensed around him as a great wave crashed over you, your blood rushing in your ears as you screamed out your satisfaction. Thranduil tried to cover your mouth again but he wasn’t quick enough and the feeling of you contracting around him made him forget everything else as he was pushed over the edge of his own orgasm.

As the ecstasy rolled over him, he dropped his head and pressed his face into the crook of your neck and he let out a deep, almost primal groan against your skin. The heat and the sound of him made you shiver. The feeling of him releasing deep inside you made you moan again, but you did bite your lip this time to try and stifle the sound. Thranduil went still and, for a short while, the only sound in the room was both of your heavy breathing mixing together.

Slowly, Thranduil came back to himself. He sighed, his breath hot on your neck, and he kissed your flushed skin, his lips soft and tender. You hummed, keeping your eyes closed as he gently began to suck on your neck, losing himself for a moment, and then unfortunately he pulled his face away to look you in the eye again. He took a deep breath, looking at you for a long moment as if he was studying you. “You are so beautiful...” He breathed, and your heart practically melted. Thranduil leaned in and he kissed you once more, the touch of his lips soft and gentle, as your legs trembled and threatened to stop working. Thranduil’s hands found your waist again and he helped your feet find the floor again, still kissing you.

Sudden, loud voices from the hall outside caused him to jump back from you quite suddenly, his hands immediately moving to adjust his trousers and smooth down his clothing. He stared at the door for a moment before he turned his eyes back on you, watching as you adjusted yourself, the long skirt sliding easily back into place. He reached out and he combed his fingers through your hair, smoothing some stray pieces back down. You stared up at him, captivated. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something but at that very instant the door opened and everybody began to file back into the room, their voices loud and cheerful as they moved to take their seats.

Thranduil moved away from you back to the front of the room, his shoulders straight, his hands clasped behind his back, and his expression once more his normal neutral mask.

You, on the other hand, were certain that your legs were shaking so much that if you took a step you would fall flat on your face in front of everybody. You stayed where you were for a long moment until everybody was seated and then you realised you had no other choice because it was you who needed to take the notes for the final half of this meeting. You forced one foot in front of the other, certain you could feel Thranduil’s seed starting to run down your leg. You bit your lip and you squeezed your thighs together as you finally reached your seat, taking up your parchment and quill once more, and letting out a very shaky breath. You were sure your face was flushed but, as usual, nobody paid you any attention. Small mercies.

The rest of the meeting seemed to drag on for eternity as you did your utmost to take coherent notes of what was being discussed. Unlike how Thranduil had made it sound earlier on, your mind had certainly not let up after getting what it wanted (more than it wanted, even!) No, in fact it was probably worse as your thoughts were full of Thranduil’s firm body pressing you against that wall, the feeling of him moving inside you, his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth...

“...are you even listening?”

You blinked, lifting your head. Your eyes met Thranduil’s and the knowing smirk on his face looked so self-congratulatory you could have actually smacked him for it.

“Sorry?”

“Apology accepted.” He said, his smirk only growing as you blinked up at him. Your eyes narrowed and he chuckled. “Forgive me, I am only teasing you.”

It was only then that you realised the room was empty. You had not even noticed everybody leaving and you glanced down at the paper in a panic to see if you had even registered the end of the meeting. Apparently you had, in a few almost incomprehensible scribbles that you must have written on autopilot.

Cringing slightly, you turned your attention back to Thranduil. “Have you not teased me enough, my lord?” You asked, a slight smirk of your own visible on your face as you met his gaze.

He let out another laugh, this one brighter, and he seemed pleased. “You will call me Thranduil.” He said firmly and then he shook his head. “And no. I do not believe I have.”

You would call him... by his name? Without any titles at all? You were too busy trying to figure that one out that you did not catch his next words straight away. When you did, you frowned and tilted your head at him. “No?”

Thranduil shook his head, holding your gaze as he shifted and bent down at the waist so he was eye level with where you were sitting. “No.” He repeated, his eyes studying your own. He looked a little lost for a moment before he gathered himself once more. “Do you have plans this eve?”

The question took you off guard and you could only stare for a long few seconds, probably looking like a complete fool... but Thranduil merely stood patiently and waited. “No...” You said eventually.

Thranduil immediately straightened and turned on his heel. “Good. Come.” He said, gesturing over his shoulder for you to follow him. You scrambled out of the seat as fast as you could manage, snatching up your things as you hurried to follow him from the room. He did not lead you out of the main door but the one near the back of the room, that connected to one of the many passageways that were reserved just for the king, which would eventually lead... to his chambers.

When he pushed the door open, it hit you like a ton of bricks, though you must have already known on some level. Your brain was just a little slow from what had happened between the two of you earlier.

He turned in the doorway and looked at you very seriously. “I do not want...” As before, the Elvenking seemed to not quite know what to say. “I mean, I would not wish to presume...” Again, he stopped, his mouth a thin line and his eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he tried to figure out what it was exactly he wanted to say to you. Such uncertainty frustrated him.

You smiled. Somehow, despite how surprising it was to see him in such a way, it relaxed your nerves. You reached for his hand and you gazed up at him, watching the surprise register on his face as he felt your fingers thread into the gaps between his own. “You do not presume, Thranduil...” You said simply, your soft smile turning into another tiny smirk. “You guess correctly.”

His uncertainty and frustration melted away, reassured by your words. You expected his perfect mouth to turn into yet another smug smirk but instead he gave you the softest, most relieved smile you had ever seen on him. “In that case...” He said, tightening his grip on your hand and pulling you back into the room with him, kicking the door shut with his boot and lifting you into his arms in one swift movement.

You squealed a laugh and then he did smirk, his lips finding yours once more, as he walked you across the room and threw you down on his large, extravagant bed.

#thranduil x reader #thranduil x you #thranduil fanfiction #thranduil fanfic #lotr x reader #this took forever i'm sorry #also it got away from me

520 notes · View notes

ieatangstforbreakfast · 5 months

Text

Pairing ೃ⁀➷ 1610! Miles Morales x Fem! Reader

Summary ೃ⁀➷ Based off of Conan Gray’s song, Heather.

Genre ೃ⁀➷ Unrequited love, one shot

Tags ೃ⁀➷ Unrequited Love, Really rushed, It’s like twelve here damn, short one shot, Reader is a hopeless romantic idk anymore, not proofread, it’s mostly just poetic shit idk

Author's Note ೃ⁀➷ ill design it tomorrow goddamn it i just wanted to write, might wake up and rewrite idfk

“𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫,”

Suddenly, all of what was left of November passed, with the dead, scarlet leaves the only homage remaining of the autumn that’s escaped your grasps. Autumn left as quick as it came, you couldn’t even bid a proper adieu.

When you think of December, you think of this icy wonderland— a winter that’d leave you huddling in the comfort of thick coats and hot chocolate, while patiently waiting on the nearing holiday that was prancing around the corner. Instead, what poured was not the icy flare of snow, but rain heavy enough to send you and Miles bolting off for cover.

In the thick downpour, your giggles emanated throughout the dim alleyways as the two of you sought sanctuary beneath a bus stop, somehow able to shield yourselves from the pitter-patters that raged on in a sideway fall.

“Oh my God, your hair.” You pointed at his drenched curls, a low laugh following along. Miles shook his head, running his fingers through the fluff of his waves when it poofs up again after a few turns. “It’s got magic, don’t worry.”

You brush your hands over the drenched skirt of your uniform, cursing to yourself. “Kinda need that magic for my clothes too.”

“That’s ‘cause you ain’t a magical being like me,” He huffs while wiping his hoodie. “You’s a mere mortal.”

“Okay, extraterrestrial being, control the damn weather then.”

“Hell yeah I will,” He snaps his fingers up to the skies. “Rain harder f’me, clouds!”

And the rain oh-so-gracious heeds his command. After a short while of cursing him out, you and Miles sat by the bench with your laughs easing down— replacing the excitement with a shared sort of exhaustion. With your heads pressed against the graffiti-covered glass wall behind you, you take a moment to subtly angle your head and look at Miles. He doesn’t notice it at first, but when he catches on, he turns and exchanges the stare with his own, a subtle “What?” escaping his lips.

From the chill of your spine, you mumbled.

“Nothing.”

You sheepishly looked away. “I’m just.. So exhausted, God. I need to work on my cardio.” A small fit of coughs exit your lips, covered up by the block of your wet sleeve. “I don’t understand how you get to run so quick— I couldn’t even see anything.”

“You still caught up pretty quick,” He beams. “Gotta admit, you’re a quick runner.”

“Thanks, I practice by running away from my problems.” A heft chuckle followed. “M’just kidding.”

Miles takes notice of your quivering hand— a frail shiver emanating ‘til the tips of your fingers. For a moment, the short idea of wrapping his hand over yours crosses his mind, but he shoots it down as soon as it came. It inches only a tad bit closer, but the image of someone else flashes in his mind when he looks at you like this.

“What a mood.”

“Running away from problems?”

“Yeah.”

You raised a brow. “You? You run away from your problems?”

He lazily shrugged with a hum. “Everybody runs away from their problems every now and then. It’s aight.”

“In a way, I guess,” You lean a little closer, but your shoulders never touching. “But in the end, no matter how much we run away, it’s all gonna end up catching up to us.”

Miles shoots you an amused look. “You been paying attention to philosophy class lately?”

“Prof Martha and I are besties, y’know.” A tint of sarcasm colored your words, redefining your connection to the strict teacher. “She likes me so much, she calls my name first during every fucking recitation.”

“It’s cause you’s always on that damn phone.”

“With or without my damn phone, nothing can make me sit still throughout her lecture.” A gruff huff escaped your mouth.

“Damn, not even me?”

You looked at him, wondering if he was flirting with you or if it was just your delusional brain whispering sweet theories into your ear. But even then, you admit.

“Ionno, maybe.”

You couldn’t even look him in the hazel of his pretty eyes.

“Maybe?”

He sounded half-disappointed, but you didn’t want to plant a presumptive seed inside your overly creative brain. That word alone’s enough to craft you a million what-ifs later on when you’re fading into the world of your dreams.

A chill runs down your spine.

“… I think I’m definitely gonna get sick tomorrow.”

“Oh, shit,” He sits up. “We definitely can’t have that happening.” Immediately after, he starts taking off his sweater. You flush, rambling on with the same question; “What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Our presentation’s tomorrow, and if anybody’s gonna be presenting the damn thing, it ain’t me— so you,” He tosses it over to you. “You wear this for now.”

You hesitate for a moment, dragging your hands towards the red polyester with a raised brow.

“How about you?”

Miles shrugged. “I can make do. My system’s made out of steel.”

“Made out of steel but you can’t perform for shit?” You pull the sweater over your head, the fluffy thing engulfing you into warmth. It was still somewhat damp from the rain, but it was better than earlier.

“Huh,” Miles sat back as you looked up to meet his gaze. “.. Would you look at that. It looks better on you than it does on me.”

Your eyes glanced down at the crimson, your hands smoothing out the creases of the cloth. “Really? I don’t usually wear this shade.”

“You don’t?”

“I’m more of a.. Less saturated kinda gal.”

“.. I mean, you can have it if you want.”

You shot him a look of disbelief. “.. Does this sweater have a hole because if you’re giving this away I—“

“It doesn’t have a hole, [Y/n].”

And your name rolled off his tongue so gently, it caught you off guard.

“I just think it looks better on you.”

Upon that murmur, he crossed his arms over his chest and sunk deep into the comfort of his seat. You’re stuck contemplating with an open palm, straightening the creases of his sweater. “Are you really giving this to me? ‘Cause I can give it back to you after laundry day.”

He shook his head. “Just.. Think of it as an early Christmas gift.”

“.. Thank you, then.” A smile crossed your lips. “I’ll keep it forever.”

When you see the way he looks at you— like a sort of guilt laced in hesitation, but a certain sort of awe. At that moment, a sense of hope lingered inside you like a dream. You think, maybe, just maybe, that helpless look in his eyes— that sort of gut wrenching longing— was crafted entirely and solely, exclusively for you.

But you knew that gaze of his wasn’t for you.

And you knew exactly who he was pretending you to be.

Oh, if only I was her.

Feelings, your feelings— erratic, volatile, and erupting out of you like a bird unwilling to be caged. You wanted to speak, say it— just say it.

But your hair wasn’t as golden as hers, your cheeks weren’t as rosy as hers. You wanted her effortless pixie hair cut, her ballerina grace. She reminded you of those flowers fleeting in the wind, like the purple heaths they called ‘Heathers’. You wanted to smell like her sweet perfume, do everything the way she does, just so Miles could look at you the way you imagined he’d look at her.

His doe-eyed sweetness. You wished you could own it, you wished he’d spare at least a part of it for you.

Rather, you wanted all of him for yourself.

You wanted a glimpse of this girl beyond the confines of Miles’ dabbles in watercolor and markers. You’d much rather prefer the object of your jealousy walk across your sights, smile with the bunny teeth he likes so much, and make your stomach churn rather than have you dwell over a 2D image you couldn’t help but gauntly skim past.

What is it about you that I can’t make Miles look at me?

Maybe if you’d meet her beyond his sketchpad and recollections, then maybe you’d understand why he can’t get her out of his mind.

At that moment, she was just someone you wished to be.

The bright red of this polyester which you deemed unfitting of your skin. You wondered if Miles truly meant it when he said it suits you— or if what he truly meant was that the shade would’ve looked great on her.

As the sweater was yours, but Miles was hers.

Your arms meet with a tiny press, and you feel his shiver. It was only so subtle, but at the ease of his shoulders, you couldn’t help but think as he looked onto the empty space with a blank stare.

Wish I were Heather.

#miles morales #miles morales 1610 #1610 miles x reader #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #spiderman 1610 #earth 1610 miles fluff #earth 1610 miles morales x you #earth 1610 miles x you #miles morales fluff #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #miles morales x reader #atsv #spiderman atsv #atsv x reader #spider man: across the spider verse

200 notes · View notes

kainyte · 6 months

Text

you're all i have left ⎯ ft. childe angst bcs idk what else to do w my life pt. O1 : pt. O2

the fatui harbingers lead dangerous lives, including childe. with his newborn son, it's getting harder and harder to keep everyone safe. and as much as it pains him he might just have to leave. and so he did, but as his time comes to a close, he just wants to see his lover one more time.

notes : part 2 because yall made me feel bad :,) tags: @solarrclxud @childesbimbo @linnyta @ari-sheizou srry if unwanted i jst tagged everybody who commented on part one hjskfhdjg

1 year and 40 days. That's how long it's been since you'd last seen Ajax. And yet, every night you'd miss the warmth of him and how comforting his embrace felt.

Your son is now 3 years old.

You’ve raised your son all by yourself. Every night you tell him about his father and how wonderful he is. You tell him of how much Ajax loves him, even if Ajax isn’t there to do so himself.

You’ve struggled to pick up the pieces of a broken life in Ajax’s absence. The first few months were spent waiting in agony to see if he returned, if he’d come home.

But as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, you started to lose hope. And finally, one night, as a final piece of yourself drifted away, you accepted it. Ajax was gone. It would be difficult to move on, but you had a son who needed you more than ever with a father’s touch missing.

The air in the room is still. Only a light breeze makes its way through the window, and the curtains to sway in the wind. The moonlight glows through the window and paints the room in a dark glow

Your eyes are heavy with sleep, but your mind is awake and buzzing with memories of your husband. So many happy memories. So many moments. The laughter. The joy. The love.

A gentle knock at the door breaks the silence. Your eyes flutter as you come back to the present. As if your thoughts about Ajax summoned someone to the door.

It hurts. Every time someone knocks at the door, you don't know who it is. Your heart jumps to the thought of it being your husband returning, but it never is.

The knocking comes again. Someone is clearly desperate to have your attention.

You sit up in bed and rub your eyes, trying to wake up quickly and answer the door. Was your mind playing tricks on you in your sleep or is someone actually here?

You stand up and hurry to the door. Slowly, you put your hand around the handle and twist it.

Your heart jumps to your throat, and it beats so fast you can hear it against your ears. What if it really is Ajax?

Please be him.

You hear the knocking again. A gentle but persistent tap. Like a knock from… no, no it couldn’t be. Not him. You know Ajax is gone. He had left.

“Just a sec!” You call out as you get out of bed. With a slight shake, you start to walk towards the door. Slowly. Like this moment is everything to you. As if you’re trying to delay the inevitable.

Slowly, you twist the door open. And…

It’s him.

It’s Ajax.

Ajax stands in the doorway, arms crossed, with a stoic and silent expression on his face. He looks the same, just like how you remembered him.

“Darling,” he says softly, “come out. We need to talk.”

His words sound as emotionless as always but his gaze on you speaks volumes. You feel a mix of emotions. Happiness, relief, panic, but most of all… fear.

You can’t feel anything, “Ajax.” You can see your body tremble, but you don’t feel it. Your vision goes blurry, presumably from how you’re tearing up.

He walks over, taking your hand in his.

“Darling, look at me.” His eyes meet yours. His expression is soft, worried, “Why are you crying?”

The question makes you scoff.

“Why am I crying?” Of all the questions he could ask, why does he choose that. You take a breath, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. Then, slowly, you look up at him, meeting his gaze for a moment… before looking away.

“It’s too much, Ajax. It’s been too long.”

“It has been too long, darling,” he says softly. “And I’m sorry…”

He pauses.

“Do you remember why I had to leave?” He asks calmly, a hint of regret in his tone.

His question makes you look back at him. He’s watching you intently, waiting for a reply. Waiting for the answer you’re afraid to give…

"I remember." you mumble. Your gaze never leaves his face, its has been too long.

Ajax swallows hard. He already knows your answer but he wants to hear it.

He wants to know the pain you went through. He wants to feel guilty. He wants to beg. He wants his heart to break all over again. He wants the chance to make it up to you, however he can.

And he's going to make you say it.

“Tell me,” he whispers, his voice breaking a little. He can’t hide the desperation, the pain. “Tell me why I had to leave.”

He sighs when you don’t respond.

“Darling,” he says, “I never wanted to leave you…”

Your heart breaks when you see the remorse in his eyes. The remorse for all the time he’s missed with you and your son. For all the moments he shouldn’t have been away.

“But…”

His words are followed by a silence. One that makes you feel the weight of the world sitting on your shoulders. You want to beg him to stay. You want him to stay even if it means he has to leave again.

“But you know I had to.”

“Ajax,” you whisper, “please. ”

"So do you understand?" He asks. He's not trying to be cruel, but you can hear the fear in his voice. The fear that you'll reject him, kick him out, or something worse.

"Darling, please, just answer me. Do you understand why I had to leave?"

You can see the desperation in his eyes and for the first time, you understand what he's trying to tell you. The fear he's experiencing. The dread. It's like he's reliving that day one year ago when he had to leave you.

"I understand Ajax."

You look at him and, archons, how you’ve missed him.

Ajax smiles at me and lets out a strained laugh, "Darling, I've gotten weaker. I had a feeling that..." He trails off and when you look back at him there are tears in his eyes.

He tries to stifle his tears. He's not usually so open with his emotions but after all you've been through, he doesn't want to hide from you anymore. He looks at you with pure, unfiltered love. And you can't hold back any more.

You move towards him, closing the distance between you two. You hug him tight, burying your head in his chest and letting out a soft sob. Ajax holds you back the same way, his breath shuddering with each exhale. You lean back and just look at each other, both of you filled with joy and relief... and fear.

"I think this might be the last time we'll be able to see eachother." Ajax whispers, "I just- you know what my job comes with. I've gotten weaker, this delusion, it's draining me.."

Tears stream down his face.

"Don't say that," you whisper in response. He's so weak. So much weaker than you remember him. The months of isolation seem to have taken a toll on him.

The thought of losing him again fills your chest, you're practically overflowing with dread.

"Don't do this to me, Ajax," you whisper again. "You're my life. I would be happy to end mine just to be with you forever."

You're half joking of course, but with the way your heart aches for him... you're not so sure how much of it was kidding after all.

Ajax kisses your forehead, looking at you with tears in his eyes. "Darling-" he starts. Before he can finish his sentence, you stop him by placing your finger on his lips.

"No," you say softly, "I don't want to hear what you have to say. I'm not losing you. I lost half of myself when you left. If I lose you again, I'll lose all of myself."

Your voice isn't soft anymore. It's hard and resolute, "I'm keeping you this time, Ajax."

#💤 . . . ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 (᎑ ᎑)#💤 . . . library #childe #tartaglia #childe x reader #childe angst #genshin x reader #genshin angst #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact angst #genshin impact childe #genshin childe #原神

233 notes · View notes

7s3ven · 3 months

Note

hello! ur writing is so fun and rahhhh i heart it. idk if ur taking cato reqs but i love him bro its an issue. anyhow, childhood friend!tribute!reader and him coming to terms with the fact that both of them cant win. could be platonic or romantic whatever u like<3

I’m literally in love with Cato.

( master list )

DANCING WITH UR GHOST. cato hadley

IN WHICH… Cato Hadley and Y/N L/N accept there can only be one winner. The Capitol watches as one falls and the other leaves the arena with a furious heart, never quite moving on.

Warnings : not proof-read, a little bit of angst, some gore (it’s the hunger games)

—

THG TAG LIST : No one rn 💀

—

It was a hot and sunny day when the Capitol chose to announce the tributes. Small beads of sweat rolled down Y/N’s forehead as she clasped her hands behind her back. The sun was relentlessly beating down on the large group of teenagers crowded in front of the stage, organised by age and all eagerly waiting.

Y/N wasn’t like the rest of her District. She had seen how the effects of the Hunger Games weighed down on the tributes. Haymitch had turned to drinking after the slaughter of his family. Y/N couldn’t imagine returning home to see the people you held dear gruesomely bloodied on the floor.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cato. He stood out from the boys, being one of the tallest and towering over them. He had his jaw clenched and he was impatiently tapping his foot, waiting until he could leap onto the stage.

His head turned and they locked eyes. Y/N was the first to break into an amused smile and he returned it, his pale lips curving upwards.

Y/N paid no attention to the video playing on the screen in front of her. They showed it every year and she had practically memorised the voice lines by now. Her mind flashed back to yesterday, the day where Cato had suggested the unthinkable.

“What if we run away?” He questioned, making Y/N pause. She grasped the handle of her ax tightly as she spun around to face her childhood friend.

“What?” She needed to make sure that she had heard him right. It’s not like Y/N hadn’t thought of it before but for Cato Hadley of all people to ask was outrageous. He was Two’s greatest candidate. They were all counting on him.

“You heard me. What if we ran away? Away from all this and away from the games? I wouldn’t have to worry about being a peacekeeper. We could do it, you and me.”

Y/N has full faith in her axe skills and Cato’s strength but the idea was almost too crazy to pull off. She shook her head, “They’d find us.” She whispered. Y/N was glad nobody else was in the gym because this could be considered treason.

Y/N subtly shook her head. If only leaving District Two was that easy. They would surely notice if their strongest candidate and his axe-throwing friend went missing.

Her attention was caught by the lady, Kikoro, walking towards the microphone in a hideously bright yellow skirt. Beside her, Y/N heard Clove laugh.

Clove was a good friend of Cato’s and by default she was a friend of Y/N’s too. She was shorter than both of them but that didn’t stop her from snapping at people left and right. Her skills with throwing knives were amazing and Y/N often felt a little jealous. Surely the knives were lighter compared to lugging around a wooden stick with a blade attached to it.

“Now, I must warn you, there’s a new little rule. No volunteering this year.” Kikoro uttered into the microphone, her lips covered in yellow lipstick curling into an unsettling smile. She ignored the disappointed jeers from the teenagers as she reached into the first bowl. “Ladies first. It’s only polite.”

Everybody watched with bated breath as Kikoro unfolded the piece of paper painfully slow. Clove was practically shaking with excitement.

Kiroko cleared her throat before she leaned forward, glancing at the crumbled paper. “Y/N L/N.” She said.

Y/N clicked her tongue, thinking it was all a sick joke. She wasn’t scared shitless like the tributes in the paper districts were but she was disappointed. Why her and not somebody who actually wanted to compete?

Y/N begrudgingly stepped onto stage after being dragged by a peacekeeper. “Let go of me.” She hissed, yanking her arm out of the man’s grip.

“What’s your name, dear?” Kiroko asked, gesturing Y/N to step forward to the microphone. The H/C-nette stared at the Capitol citizen in confusion.

“You just said my name… Y/N L/N.”

Kikoro paused before she burst into a fit of light laughter. “Ah, sorry dear. I’m so used to volunteers. Next up, the boys.”

Y/N hoped her District partner would be someone useful who she could discard later. Someone strong but not too strong as to overpower her.

As Y/N rocked back and forth on her heels, she glanced over at Kikoro who was now unfolding the second paper. She read text written in black ink before grasping the microphone.

Hearing her own name getting called didn’t frighten Y/N but as Kikoro declared the male tribute, her heart dropped so fast that she may as well collapsed. It was the one person she wished hadn’t been chosen.

“Cato Hadley.”

The train ride was silent. Enobaria had tried talking to the pair but they never replied. Eventually, she gave up and went to a different compartment.

“We should’ve run away.” Y/N quietly muttered, suddenly regretting not putting the absurd plan into action. Across from her, Cato chuckled.

“Yeah…” He paused, refusing to believe that this was really happening. That he’d have to kill his best friend if he wanted to survive. He was brought back to the harsh reality as the train bumped along the tracks.

“You should’ve played dead… or something.” Y/N stirred the spoon around in her cup of coffee, having no intentions of actually tasting the bitter drink. She licked her dry lips. “What happens if we’re the last ones left?”

Cato didn’t have the courage to answer. He pushed his food around with his fork for a few moments before finally lifting his head. “May the best win.” He uttered.

Y/N glanced out the window, staring at the tall buildings of the Capitol in the distance. She took a deep breath as the train quickly approached the large city and their impending doom.

The days in the Capitol were limited. And they passed by fast. One minute Y/N was standing in front of the dummy targets, skilfully throwing axes as their heads then the next she was in front of a crowd in a glittery gold gown.

“You’re a fan favourite, Y/N. How does that make you feel?” Caesar, with his crazy blue hair and matching suit, said as he widely grinned.

“I guess I’m just that charming.” Y/N smiled as she leaned back in her seat, gracefully crossing one leg over the other.

“Our time is almost up but may I ask the question that everyone has been wondering? What on earth is going on between you and Cato?”

The Capitol had caught wind of the small stolen glances and borderline flirtatious kisses on the knuckles. Y/N shifted in her seat as she recalled the event before this very interview.

“You look…” Cato entered the room, practically starstruck as Y/N stood on a small platform. “Wow.” She frowned as she adjusted the tight bodice of her dress.

“Really? Because right now, I can’t really breathe.” Y/N let out a small laugh but she felt her corset suffocate her lungs.

“Does this look like a face that would lie to you?” Cato grasped Y/N’s hands and helped her off the platform. “I mean it. You look stunning… almost makes me wish we were getting ready for a ball instead of this.” Cato’s face was so close. Y/N couldn’t help but let her eyes dart to his lips.

“You look handsome too.” She playfully grinned as she straightened Cato’s tie. “Blue suits you.”

“We’re just friends.” Y/N repeated that overused phrase while the Capitol citizens groaned in frustration. “I don’t know what you want me to admit… Cato is handsome but I can’t imagine dating someone I’ve known since childhood… his face is getting a little annoying.”

Y/N’s cheeky remark earned her a few laughs.

“If given the chance, I probably would’ve liked to kiss him once, you know?” Y/N’s confidence grew and she forgot all about how Cato could hear her words through the small screen in the waiting room. She folded her arms over her chest just as the timer buzzed.

“Y/N L/N, everybody!” Caesar declared.

She stepped off the stage and back into the shadows, away from the piercing lights. Glimmer and Marvel had already returned to their rooms and Y/N was about to do the same before Cato came into view.

She saw him wave enthusiastically at the crowd but his eyes were on her. She shrank back, suddenly aware of what she had said during the interview.

Y/N scurried off before Caesar could even ask Cato one question. She stormed into the room assigned to District Two. Enobaria was sitting on the couch, clicking the TV remote buttons.

“Need help getting out of that dress?” The sharp-toothed woman asked. Y/N silently nodded.

“Thank you.” Y/N said, finally able to breathe properly again. She would never take oxygen for granted again.

Y/N was only dressed in a black singlet and shorts when Cato burst through her personal room door. “What was that?” He demanded, slamming the door behind him. “If given the chance? I’m giving you the damn chance, Y/N!”

Y/N let out a squeak of surprise when he grabbed her face and pulled her forward, swiftly kissing her like he had been waiting to do so for years. With how his hands trailed down to tightly grip her waist, Y/N wouldn’t be surprised if Cato had been dreaming of this moment.

Cato pulled away, resting his forehead on Y/N’s. “How’s that for a given chance?”

The sun in the arena felt different. Its heat was blistering and Y/N felt her body burning up underneath her heavy jacket. She wanted to discard the warm piece of clothing but it would come in handy at night.

The Careers had already made their allies clear. Y/N glanced at Cato who was already staring at her as usual.

To Y/N’s left was Glimmer, who was impatiently tapping her foot as the countdown began. Y/N stared at the decreasing numbers until it reached five and she had no choice but to get ready to run.

This was no mere dream, it was a reality that Y/N wish she didn’t exist in, for Cato’s sake.

To no one’s surprise, Cato was the first to react as the countdown finished. He leaped off his podium, immediately making a run for a silver sword. Some tributes turned tail and ran but those who joined the mess in the middle were gruesomely stabbed by Cato.

Y/N grasped a pack of throwing knives, tossing the sharp objects at anything that moved. She managed to cut Katniss’ cheek and the ravenette was not pleased about that. The District Twelve girl shot an arrow Y/N’s way but she ducked and avoided it.

“Y/N, here!” Cato tossed a fancy looking axe her way. She easily caught it, swinging it at a foolish boy who thought he could beat her.

The bloodbath didn’t last long thanks to Cato. He either killed or drove off any of the remaining tributes. “I’m feeling pretty good about this.” He grinned down at Y/N as they waltzed around the Cornucopia. He twirled his heavy sword in his hand.

“You’re in a good mood.” Y/N muttered. The hunger for bloodshed had clouded Cato’s mind, causing him to forget that Y/N would have to die in order for him to emerge victorious. She said nothing about it, though, not wanting to spoil his cheerful mood.

“I’ll be in a better mood after this.” Cato chuckled to himself as he pecked Y/N’s lips. He held her close, burying his face in her neck.

Y/N stood still, awaiting the moment where they would be forced to turn on each other. Out of the pair, Y/N had always been the rational realist.

Glimmer was dead, filled with toxin after Katniss sabotaged the Careers’ camp.

Marvel was next. Katniss skewered him like a kebab with her arrow. He died on the forest floor, joining Glimmer in Katniss’ kill count.

And then there were two. Y/N had narrowly avoided being bashed in the head with a stone by Thresh. The side of her head was still bleeding, the crimson liquid staining the green grass below.

Y/N groaned as she collapsed beside Cato, leaning against the large tree trunk. “Who’s left?” She rasped. She had heard a canon go off but she had no idea who it was.

“The boy from Eleven, the pair from two, and us.” Cato replied, his shoulder brushing against Y/N’s. He pulled out a small tin bottle, handing it over to Y/N. She gratefully took a large gulp of cold water. “Don’t worry, we’ll get home.” He whispered, “You and me forever.” After Y/N’s near death experience, Cato realized that the Capitol had played him as a fool. But he was happy about the announcement that said two victors could win if they originated from the same District.

Y/N leaned her head on Cato’s shoulder and closed her eyes, deeply sighing. She didn’t know when she dozed off or how long she was asleep but she cracked open one eye to see Cato hurriedly shaking her.

Night time, the Careers’ prime time to hunt, had already past. When Y/N’s eyes finally adjusted to the light, she furrowed her eyebrows. She was in a cave yet she remembered falling asleep on the forest floor. And Cato was covered in bites and gruesome grazes and blood. So much blood.

“Cato…” Y/N breathed, quickly leaning forward, “What happened to you?”

“I killed Katniss and Peeta… and the mutts killed Thresh. It’s you and me left, Y/N.” His sounded sounded so weak and he sluggishly cupped her face, panting heavily. For once, he was covered in his own blood rather than the blood of his victims.

“You drugged me…” Y/N’s heart fell to her stomach as she realized what had happened. Cato had slipped sleeping pills into the water and while she was knocked out, he put her in a cave and went to hunt down the three other tributes. She furrowed her brows. “How could you? Cato… you could’ve died.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah… I know. That was kind of the point. While you were asleep, they revoked the two victors rule. There can only be one again.”

That was enough for tears to well up in Y/N’s eyes. “Don’t leave me… please.” She cried as she held Cato, her childhood friend and her first true crush. His blood stained her muddy clothes but she didn’t care. “Please…” She trailed off as Cato wheezed.

“The mutts did a good job on me.” He muttered, finding it harder to stay awake. Y/N’s eyes widened.

“No. Cato. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me here!” She immediately noticed how his pulse slowed down. “Stay awake, Cato! I can fix this! Please.”

Y/N had already come to terms that there could only be one victor but she had yet to accept that fact that she had to lose Cato to walk out.

“You can’t give up now… we came this far. We can sort something out.” Y/N uttered as she shook Cato in a fruitless attempt to convince him.

“I love you, Y/N.” He grasped her hand, squeezing it tightly. “I always have. Ever since we became friends. Ever since you were the first to find the courage to talk to me. I don’t know what I would have done with you.”

Y/N laughed as a sob bubbled up in her throat. “I love you too. If only your name wasn’t called. I could’ve won the games and come back to you.” She shakily sighed as she leaned down to kiss Cato’s cold lips. She placed her hand on his neck and when she felt no pulse, she pulled back in a panic.

“Cato?” She shook him once. Then again. “Cato?!” She repeated, this time louder. “No… no… no! Don’t leave me here! Cato!”

She screamed so loud that the sound echoed around the forest, scaring the birds and causing them to flee.

“Cato!”

Y/N walked out of the arena a free woman. Not quite since Snow would still have full control over her but she liked to think she was free to a certain extent.

The Capitol workers had tried to discard of the necklace she held so tightly in her left hand but she refused to let them take it away. It was the only remaining memory she had of Cato.

Anger swirled around in her heart like a monster, threatening to burst free and reign terror over anyone that came in contact with her.

Only now was Y/N realising why the victors never looked genuinely happy despite having everything they wanted. It was because Snow tore their deepest desires away, always holding it near but never within their reach.

Enobaria had wanted to be a mother.

Gloss wanted a peaceful life with his sister.

Cashmere wanted nothing more than to take care of the children in District One.

Brutus craved freedom from Snow’s cruel clutches.

And poor Y/N dreamt of becoming a bride but as she watched the light drift from Cato’s eyes, her wish was swept away with it.

Now, Snow had nothing to take away from her because the person she loved the most was already gone.

73 notes · View notes

bella-rose29 · 5 months

Text

Not Your Lover - Chapter 8 (final chapter)

Gregor finally gets some backstory (been a long time coming) although it's actually quite depressing (I'm sorry)

shit goes down in this one (both bad and good)

ok edit: this is the last part of this series (I know 😭), there's a better explanation on the master list if you would like, but thank you to everybody who has liked, commented, reblogged, or even just read and enjoyed <3

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: swearing, the mother is (you guessed it) still a bitch, mentions of death, mentions of a stillborn, grief, Gregor sees Nik as a son (I cried writing that honestly he's so sweet), the mother gets her ass verbally handed to her, idk what else there is other than it's only been proof-read once

Tag list: @a-candle-maker, @bish-lasagna, @bubybubsters, @el-de-phi, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @iambored24601, @itsyoboo-jassy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @little8sun, @mrsklockwood, @mvidaaaa, @nalie-98, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @notoakay, @pietromaximoffsbabe, @shadowwolf202101blog, @simbaaas-stuff

As always, let me know here if you would like to be added to/removed from my Nikolai tag list <3

series master list

Y/n was having a shit day.

She hadn't seen Nik- Nikolai, since he'd told her who he was the day before, and she felt awful about how she'd dealt with it. It was irrational, really, since she knew that he wasn't Davor, but the doubts about what else Nik- Nikolai (Saints, that was still difficult to get her head around) was lying about were creeping in. Her mother's presence in the mansion at the moment was doing absolutely nothing to help.

"-and Davor says that he overheard the two of you the night of the faire, you know, when I found out that the two of you were 'together', and Davor says that he heard you talking about how you were going to pretend to date so that you could use me for your grant! And Davor says tha-"

"Saints, mother! Stop talking about Davor! 'Davor says this' and 'Davor says that', it's exhausting just listening to you!" Y/n was working on the third room, the deadline closing in far too fast for her liking.

Everything would be easier if Nik was helping.

She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts of him, and went on stubbornly ignoring her mother's incessant rambling, picking up a brush and painting the walls. The entrance hall and first front room were done, but they'd taken longer than she'd expected and now it was a rush to get the third and fourth rooms done in six days. In fairness, she only really had to put the final coat of paint on these walls and finish tidying up and then the second front room was done. It was the final room that was stressing her out, since it needed clearing out, floors replacing, furniture replacing, everything replacing, really, and she'd barely touched it.

Her father had promised to help, which she would be eternally grateful for, but even with somebody lending a hand Y/n had no clue how she would ever get the project done in time.

"You know, I should have expected something like this from you. You're a terrible daughter, do you know that? All I ever wanted was the best for you and you had the audacity to lie to me and take me for granted."

Y/n stopped her work again to stare up in incredulous shock at the woman that called herself her mother. "What? I'm a terrible daughter? You do realise that the only reason that any of this has happened is because of you, right? Because of your failings as a mother?" She stood up, hoping that she looked intimidating.

"How dare you insinuate that-"

"I fucking dare. Get the hell out of my property." Y/m/n wasn't moving, but neither was Y/n, and after a few moments the older woman seemed to realise that she'd lost this fight and left.

~~~

Gregor had smacked Nik for the third time that day, and it was barely lunchtime.

"Focus, boy!"

He felt bad about hitting him on the back of his head, but at the same time Nik hadn't been concentrating and was about to saw his fingers off, so Gregor thought that it was fair.

"Sorry," the younger man muttered, clearly still not with it.

"What's up with you?" Gregor asked, tone softening. "C'mon. If it's gonna stop you working effectively then we'll talk about it." Nik sighed, turning in his seat at the workbench, and for the first time that day Gregor could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

"I told Y/n. She didn't... she didn't take it too well. And Davor and Y/m/n have started going around saying we were faking it-"

"You were though?" Gregor said, confusion lacing his voice.

"Well, yeah, but the point was that nobody was meant to know that. Although I did tell you pretty early on which kind of defeated the point, but you're good at keeping secrets so I felt safe telling you." Gregor's heart swelled at the words and at the knowledge that Nik trusted him enough to share something he wasn't supposed to. It hadn't been long after Nik's first appearance in Taya that Gregor started seeing the man as a son, helping to fill the hole in his heart that had been empty for so long. His wife had died during the birth of their firstborn son, only for the baby to be stillborn. Gregor had been wrecked, despondent and reserved, and eventually he'd moved out to Taya, hoping that the sea air would heal him. Work had kept his mind off of his past, but every now and then he'd be reminded of the two of them and had to close the shop, sitting in his grief all day doing nothing but staring blankly at a wall and periodically crying, his head in his hands. But Nik, bright and shining Nik, had been the son that Gregor never got the chance to meet, and so knowing that Nik felt that he was somebody he could talk to filled the older man with joy.

"Anyway," Nik continued. "I said I'd give her space. It wasn't the best time to tell her, to be honest, because Davor and her- Y/m/n were giving her shit, and then Evalina appeared, and I think it was just a lot to take in all at once." Gregor didn't miss the way that Nik stopped himself from calling Y/m/n 'Y/n's mother', and he found that, despite having known the woman for years, he agreed that she had been too despicable the past few weeks to be called a mother to anybody.

"Well, can you still help out with the mansion? I know she's stressed about that since she's got a whole room left that she hasn't touched and maybe that'll help her figure things out?"

"I don't know. I'd have to go when she's not there, I think. Otherwise I'll feel that I'm pressuring her into an answer or something."

"Well, she normally gets back here around seven bells, and heads out around five in the morning to get the bakery open. Not ideal hours for you to go and help out at the mansion, but I'll let you slack off a bit in the morning if you're tired."

"You sure? Thank you, Gregor. Really. I was going to ask where she's staying, too. She's here then?"

"Yeah. I've got a spare bedroom upstairs. Not the nicest, but at least the heating works," he joked, knowing full well that the hotel heating was complete shit. He'd tried many times to fix it, but somehow (he suspected the owners were Grisha and deliberately breaking it to avoid paying heating bills) it always ended up worse than before. Nik huffed a laugh, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Come on," Gregor said. "Let's get this desk sorted, yeah? If I remember rightly they're coming tomorrow morning to pick this up."

~~~

That night, Nikolai made the short walk to the mansion.

The street lamps dimly lit the way, making the shadows lengthen and concealing people walking along the pavements, but Nikolai wasn't afraid.

Not when he had his demon on high alert for any sign of danger.

Thankfully they made it to the building without incident, although Nikolai could have sworn that Davor was following him, and once they were inside he let his demon out.

"You're helping, alright? You can fuck around a little bit while I get started, but when I need your help, you help, okay?" His demon nodded, stretching out his wings and immediately running off into the bowels of the house. Nikolai sighed, then headed into the back room to make a start on clearing the space.

~~~

"What the fuck?"

Y/n was standing with her father in the mansion just after eleven bells the next day, staring at the empty fourth room.

"Do you... do you know what happened, Dad?"

"Uh... nope. Looks like somebody wants you to get this finished though. Not sure why they wouldn't just... come and help during the day," he frowned, shifting the toolbox he carried. Y/n frowned for a moment too, until she realised who was most likely to do something like this.

"Well," her father declared, striding forwards. "Let's not waste time! We need to get these floorboards up and replaced! Come on!"

The next hour or so was spent doing just that, ripping up floorboards with much more aggression than was needed (both Y/n and her father were taking out their anger on the job), and by the time Y/n had to go back to the bakery they'd stripped the whole room and had made a start on laying the new boards. She was just stepping into her shop when Evalina appeared, and it took a tremendous amount of willpower on Y/n's behalf to not punch the woman in her stupid face right then and there.

"Hi, Y/n. So Nik is single, yeah? Because I would love to see what he's like as a lover."

"Fuck off, Evalina." Y/n walked around the counter, tying on her apron. "Unless you wanna buy something?"

"I'm not hearing anything saying I can't be with him, which is perfect! I'll go find him now!" She ignored Y/n's protests and pranced to the door, but didn't get a chance to open it and rush down the street because a woman had thrown her arm out. Holding the door closed, she raised an eyebrow at Evalina, her other hand resting lightly on one of the axes at her belt.

"You're gonna do no such thing, alright? Go and find some other poor sod to run after, because he is a taken man," the woman threatened, and Evalina paled slightly when an axe was lifted and held up to her throat, nodding so hard Y/n thought her head might go flying. Satisfied, the woman released the door and let Evalina disappear around the corner, watching her go, then turning to face the counter. "You're Y/n L/n, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?" she asked with a frown. How did this random woman know who she was?

"Tamar Kir-Bataar. You're in contact with Nikolai, correct?"

"No. Well, yes. Well, no. It's complicated," she finished with a sigh.

"But you know where he is? Because I need to find him and the little shit is being evasive. Does he ever open his mail?"

"Um, I don't- I don't know? Wait," Y/n frowned, picking up on something. "How do you know he's Nikolai?"

Now it was Tamar's turn to frown, clearly unsure what the situation was. "Because I used to work with him? Until he ran off into the countryside. Took a good while to track him down, sneaky bastard. He was always good at disappearing."

"Wha- okay." She huffed a sigh, pressing a hand to her forehead. "Well, he's probably at Gregor's, the mechanic. Although he could be taking a lunch break, but I don't know where he'll be if he is. Why do you need to find him?"

"The crown needs him. Urgent business. I'm not obliged to say any more than that, I'm afraid. Thanks for the help," she smiled, heading for the exit. The bell on the door chimed behind her, and Y/n replied to an empty room.

"You're welcome."

~~~

Nikolai dropped his spanner when Tamar walked in and called his name, which was unfortunate because he was on his back, and therefore the tool fell on his face.

"Fuck," he muttered, clutching his nose.

"You alright down there?"

"Yep, all good!" he called, hoping she couldn't hear the pain in his voice as he pushed himself out from under the carriage he was fixing. "Not that it's not lovely to see you, Tamar, but what are you doing here?"

"Zoya needs you. We've been trying to contact you for weeks now, but you haven't replied."

"When you say contact...?"

"Letters, mostly. Have you just not been reading your mail, Nikolai?"

"I haven't been getting mail. And just Nik would be great. People don't know who I am here, stops any assassination attempts. Well, Gregor knows, actually, but I doubt he's going to kill me."

"...Okay. Well, we need you to be Sturmhond for a little while. Shit's going down with the Kerch and they're refusing to loan us money right now despite our crippling debt because they don't like Zoya being on the throne."

"But they were fine with it when I abdicated a month or so ago. Why are they complaining now?" He wiped his hands on a nearby cloth, frowning at Tamar.

"They've got some new people on the council, and apparently they're really anti-Grisha. We need you to convince them otherwise and get those loans." Nikolai sighed, bracing himself against the workbench.

"I can't just uproot my life here, Tamar. I've got... stuff."

"Look, your girlfriend will still be here when you get back. You'll only need to be gone for what, two weeks at most?"

"My girlfr- oh, you mean Y/n."

"Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?"

"I don't know," he sighed, exasperated. Everything was happening far too quickly and all at the same time, and he had no idea what to do about any of it. On top of all of that, he was apparently meant to be receiving mail, none of which had arrived. "Look, I can't leave now. I've got jobs in the garage I need to finish off and the deadline for Y/n's project is in five days. Just give me until after then, okay?"

"We can't wait that long, Niko- Nik. There's trouble in Kerch and you're the only one good enough at getting what you want to fix it."

"There's always trouble in Kerch. Can't you send our good friend Kaz after them? He could threaten them in the middle of the night with murder or something."

"Kaz won't do it unless we pay him an inordinate amount of money," Tamar grumbled, and Nikolai couldn't help but think what a good idea that was.

"Five days, Tamar. And I'll give my most convincing speech yet, how's that?"

"Fine. But I want you going straight there, no detours. We're already behind thanks to your missing mail."

"Yeah, I'll look into that. I have my suspicions on who could have been intercepting my letters."

"I'm going to make the journey back. Five days. And then you make a move," she pointed a finger at him, stern look on her face.

"Five days." Five days to finish the third and fourth rooms. Five days to get Y/n back onside.

No pressure, then.

~~~

That night, Nikolai headed back to the mansion, his demon scurrying across the rooftops out of sight from pedestrians.

He spent most of his time laying the rest of the floorboards, then painted the walls with a first coat in the colour that Y/n had left with a note saying 'Room 4 walls'. His demon was helpful, or at least trying to be, picking up a brush in his mouth and attempting to paint the walls, but when Nikolai saw how haphazardly the job had been done he gave a tut and let the demon wander off and explore the rest of the mansion.

It was strange, how friendly the two of them were now.

Since the events within the Fold things had been different, almost as if now that they were two beings sharing one body they had to learn to get along or go mad instead. Nikolai had previously thought that he'd never be pleased to see the demon, or enjoy its company when it was a reminder of what he had suffered at the hands of the Darkling, but every now and then when it went quiet in his head he grew concerned, or when it chased after its own tail like a dog he laughed, and sometimes, in the depths of the night when nightmares kept Nikolai awake, the demon would curl up around him, offering what comfort it could.

Watching it now, he wondered how they were ever not this close. It was sort of like having a large cat, Nikolai thought. One that didn't shy away from a spot of murder.

The sound of stones being kicked made both man and demon swivel their heads to the entryway of the mansion, and Nikolai paused with the paintbrush mid-air.

"Hey, easy," he whispered to the demon, hoping it would take the hint and stop growling. Footsteps sounded, louder than the stones, and after a moment Y/m/n appeared. Nikolai was surprised to see her, not expecting her to turn up this late at night. He felt his demon hide itself in a corner, the long shadows helping conceal its dark form.

"Hello, Nik."

"Y/m/n," he said tightly, suppressing a grimace. "How can I help you?" He didn't bother disguising the contempt in his tone, no matter how schooled his expression was, and she noticed.

"You can start by going home. This is Y/n's project, not yours."

"Bullshit. She's just the manager of it. Anyone can help."

"Well, she needs to grow up. A child's dream is just that. Perhaps I entertained her fantasies too much when she was younger, but this has gone on long enough and I need to put a stop to it. So, put the paintbrush down, and go to bed. She needs to do this on her own, and when she inevitably fails she'll come home. Back to me."

Nikolai couldn't stop the laugh of disbelief that came out of his mouth, and now he made sure that she could see every emotion on his face. "You really think that she'll go back to you?" When Y/m/n nodded he only scoffed. Maybe she hadn't heard him properly at the market the other day. "You are delusional. You put her down, crushed her, destroyed her, and made her hate you with every fibre of her being, and now you think that she'll forget every comment, every moment where you made her feel like she wasn't a good enough daughter, and act as though nothing happened? No, I'm talking," he said when she tried to interrupt, his tone hardening. "You have ripped your family apart, and there is no amount of grovelling that you can do to get it back. You tore our relationship, too. Yes, it was fake to start with, but our feelings are real. So real that it fucking hurts to know that she has a mother like you, because you don't deserve her. I don't deserve her, but at least I know that she's the best I'll ever do and that I need to worship her like the goddess she is. You don't recognise that you've done anything wrong. And if you ever talk about her like that again, I will make good on my words from the other day. I will find you, and I will ruin you. Because she is the love of my life, and if she'll have me, my future wife. There's nobody but her for me." He paused, chest heaving from the realisation of what he'd just admitted. "We're done here. You can go." Y/m/n looked surprised at the dismissal, but the authority that had crept into Nikolai's voice made her scurry off into the night, her metaphorical tail between her legs.

The demon slunk back into the light, nuzzling up to Nikolai's hand in what felt like pride and comfort, and he was so preoccupied with giving it chin scratches he didn't notice the second figure that had been lingering outside the mansion.

~~~

"Nik? You here?"

"He's out," a voice replied, and Y/n deflated slightly when she recognised it as Gregor. "Went to get lunch. He should be back in about-" he checked his watch, then said "ten minutes. Do you wanna wait?"

"Uh... yeah, sure. Thanks, Gregor." She perched on a chair in the waiting area, anticipation making her buzz with energy. She couldn't sit still, leg bouncing and gaze darting around the room, and every second that passed felt agonisingly slow.

After seven minutes (and thirty-four seconds, although she definitely hadn't been counting) Nik walked in, and he froze with his eyes wide when he saw Y/n waiting in the shop. She stood up quickly, opening and closing her mouth as she tried to start the speech she'd been planning all morning. Gregor walked back out into the main shop after disappearing into the back rooms to fetch supplies, and upon noticing the two of them stood staring at each other, he excused himself, offering up his office as a quieter space for them to talk. They accepted, clumsily thanking him at the same time and walking hesitantly over.

Nik closed the door behind them, and despite the large room Y/n felt cramped, the air heavy with the words she couldn't find the strength to say just yet.

"How have you been?" he asked, his voice quiet. He wasn't looking at her, and she was stubbornly refusing to look at him, but she could picture his exact expression.

"I heard you last night." She winced, not meaning to start there. He didn't say anything, and after a few moments of no sound but the clock in the office loudly ticking she braced herself and glanced up. "Nik? I didn't mean to say it like that. I just- the first night, when I came in in the morning and the room was clear, I assumed it was you, so I came over the next night to make sure, and also to talk to you, I guess. But then my mum was there and I was about to turn around and leave, but then you started talking to her and saying all those things and-" she broke off when he met her gaze, taking a breath.

"How... how much did you hear?" His voice was hoarse, like he was trying to hold back his emotions.

"From around when you told her she was delusional." She bit her lip, nerves taking over the small wave of confidence she'd just had.

"Right." Nik cleared his throat, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "And... do- what-"

"I love you, Nik. And I wanna try being with you, for real. I can't promise that I won't be wary, and I can't promise that I won't doubt you at times, but I can promise that that isn't your fault, it's Davor's. And I can promise that should you ever propose, I'll say yes." He took a shuddering breath, a shaky smile forming on his face as he took a step towards her. Y/n wasn't sure who moved after that, but somehow they ended up meeting in the middle, arms wrapped around each other as he held her face and kissed her like he'd never let her go again. They parted after a while, taking heaving breaths and resting their foreheads against each other. Nik didn't move his hands from her cheeks, and Y/n slid hers up to cover them where they sat, linking their fingers the best she could.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. Just no more lies, yeah? I'm not sure I can handle that."

"Got it. No more lies." He went quiet for a moment and then said: "Is now a really bad time to tell you that I need to leave for two weeks?" Y/n pulled back so that she could search his eyes, huffing a laugh when she saw how concerned he was.

"I think it's a great time, actually. Does this have anything to do with that woman? What was her name... Tamar?"

"Yes. Apparently I'm the only one who can talk a nation into being cooperative. I've managed to make it so that I don't have to leave until after the deadline, though, so I can keep helping out."

"You didn't have to do that, Nik. Really."

"What, and leave you wondering where I'd gone? No thank you. You'd most likely murder me when I got back."

"I would never!" she exclaimed, laughing when he gave her a look that said he knew she was lying.

"Oh, you so would, darling." She'd forgotten how sweet the name sounded, sending her heart into a flutter.

"Hm, maybe," she murmured into his lips, moving her hands to wrap around his neck and hold him in place (not that he needed much encouragement). They only broke apart because Gregor coughed very loudly in the doorway, an unimpressed look covering up the smile he was attempting to hide.

"If the two of you could refrain from using my office as a room to fuck in that would be brilliant." Y/n snorted, and Nik nodded, both of them flushing at the thought. "Great. Nik, back to work. Y/n, I'll see you at dinner."

He swung the door shut behind him, leaving Nik and Y/n holding back laughter in the office.

#grishaverse #netflix shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lanstov x y/n #nikolai x y/n

32 notes · View notes

obscureother · 26 days

Text

🌑 ˚x'˙ intro. . ??

Hello. . !! im new to tumblr, so sorry if wonky things happen while im setting this up. im still trying to figure things out guys-

i lurk on other accounts for general content but im closeted n shy so i made this one to yell about things instead so i don’t expose myself to people i know lolol

if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to.

so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??

some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!

youre also welcome to come yell about your f/os if you just need someone to talk to them about!! dont think i know em?? COME OVER and INTRODUCE THEM. you can come in DMs, asks, or however you want to!! id be happy to know your f/o or listen to you talk about them if no one else will :00

This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((

ok who r you tho:

To be honest, I don’t have a name or something to go by as of posting this, I might get one later or just make a new comment all fancy for the pin. . For now you can just call me whatever you deem good or just go off my blog/username!! Don’t be mean tho. i may take one you guys think of or figure it out on my own.

they/them

im 21 yo. (if youre a minor, i dont mind you coming to say hello, but do look below the other stuff content for what you need to look out for. you should also know some of you goofy kiddos have energies i dont know how to respond to sometimes, so dont worry if i get awkward or something, its not your fault lolol.)

im in college, so forgive me if im slow, im also just not on tumblr very often :v i dont ghost people on purpose i swEaR-

i might post my f/os on a whole list, idk yet, but theyll prolly be mentioned sometimes to the very least. you can def ask of them tho!! (edited: i made an f/o list if you want to see them.)

i dont know if ill post content of my own f/os or me/my sona for them, but it could be there.

i dont mind sharing f/os!! id love to yell about them together. if you dont like that, then its ok!! i either wont talk about them with you so you can be their person when we talk of them, or you can just block/not interact. ill be sad i dont get to meet you, but its ok.

other stuff:

Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of my f/os. i will try to create a tag to mark it with so you can exclude honky content if you want or need to later, tho. from what i know, you can "block" tags. . so i think that will work if you like the other goofy stuff on the blog??

(edited: I DID IT, I DID THEM, LOOK: 🌑obscure tags list for the obscure blog )

NSFW talk can be in DMs, tho.

DO NOT come to me with those concepts if youre a minor tho, oh dear GOD. honky grown-up talk is not for you goofy child-folk.

LGBTQ+ friendly!! im nonbinary and love everybody. youre ok too. 💙

i do roleplay sometimes, but only in dms n please dont go exposing our roleplays to others. . i would be very not comfy :"0

if you want to roleplay, you can dm me to ask but i dont have to say yes or i might not be able to. im slow too dfsdf=

i may or may not make a side blog once i figure out how to do stuff, but know that until then, im going to just post whatever on this one til i know how to do things on tumblr lolol.

forgive me if some of my content gets deleted, edited, whatever as we go. like i said, this whole thing is very new to me and its not very organized for now. its just there. its gonna get wonky over here on my side for a bit.

• tiny bat gif •

#f/o community #introduction #f/o blog #blog intro

18 notes · View notes

blimbo-buddy · 6 months

Note

i really enjoy the kittypet culture stuff!! i know how awful making a very thought out lore post for a thing/au you love and then it getting like 3 rbs and 10 likes is......... it SUCKS. IT SUCKS ASS. i often see your posts and think 'man! this fucks!!' but then i get anxious and leave it be and thats just something i need to work on i guess- idk where im going w this tbh, i just want you to know that i really do appriciate what you do and ill try to interact w your posts more in the future

also to anyone elso who might see this: reblog stuff! leave your thoughts in the tags! maybe send an ask if youre feeling brave! it truly does mean a lot

Thanks anon, I'm feeling just a tad bit more decent right now but it just bums me out more than anything. Thank you to everybody else too, I appreciate the nice words you guys give me and the support you give towards the twolegplace culture stuff. Any thoughts or questions or anything with those posts are very much appreciated, even if it's just keyboard smashing in the tags. It gets my posts out there more and I appreciate the reblogs a lot

i don't really know how else to end this off so, there ya go

#blimbo rambles #blimmy art #ask

18 notes · View notes

malka-lisitsa · 18 days

Text

five songs.

Villains pt. 1

Where you going now? Everybody's looking at you, 'Cause you set yourself on fire just to light up the room. Turn the lights down low. If this is how I go, I'll tell them that the villains on my list, They're what turned me into this. So I'll go, I'm better off alone. Run and tell them that the villains on my list, They're the reason I've been pulled so low.

EAT ME

Is this what you'd all prefer? Would you like me better if I was still her? Did she make your mouths water? I know the part I've played before. I know the shit that I've ignored. I know the girl that you adored. She's dead, it's time to fucking mourn. I can't spoon-feed you anymore. I can't spoon-feed you anymore! Dinner's served, it's on the floor! I can't spoon-feed you anymore! You'll have to eat me as I am.

I could've been worse

'Cause I'm bad but I coulda been worse. Maybe we should look on the bright side cuz I Held back you'll get what you deserve. If I really wanted to, Baby I could ruin you. Bad. But I coulda been worse. I really coulda been worse. You should thank your lucky stars, I don't like taking it too far. If I did what I really want? I'd hit you with my fucking car.

BREAKFAST

Ooh-ooh, so you wanna talk about power? Ooh-ooh, let me show you power. I eat boys like you for breakfast. One by one hung on my necklace. And they'll always be mine. It makes me feel alive. I eat boys like you for breakfast, And I know that you tried your bestest. I never said it's right....But I'm gonna keep doing it.

I HATE YOU, I LOVE YOU

All alone, I watch you watch her. Like she's the only girl you've ever seen. You don't care, you never did. You don't give a damn about me...Yeah, all alone, I watch you watch her. She is the only thing you've ever see. How is it you never notice... That you are slowly killing me? I hate you, I love you. I hate that I love you... Don't want to, but I can't put, Nobody else above you. I hate you, I love you. I hate that I want you... You want her, you need her.... And I'll never be her

Tagged by: MY OWN DAYUMN SELF.

Tagging: Idk you, do it tag me.

#dash game

10 notes · View notes

twistedapple · 2 months

Text

OK so I need to get it out of my chest somehow, because I've been a bit displeased ever since I read that post. Not gonna tag or link because I don't want to cause trouble for OP.

But I saw a post regarding the way some people engage with Baldur's Gate 3 content, and how it was frowned upon to have opinions without playing the game. I didn't exactly take that post well in part because I saw a lot of people from the Raphael Corner nodding in agreement with what I consider a short-sighted opinion piece.

I kind of disagree with the base statement that one's opinions aren't valid if one hasn't played the game for the following reasons:

1. It honestly sounds a lot like actual DnD players complaining that new players who got on board thanks to BG3 expect the game's rules to be the same in DnD, and I consider that gatekeepy when one could be eased into the tabletop version in a more welcoming manner;

2. It's very easy to scroll past what one considers a bad take. It's even easier to block people and even tags on Tumblr, if there's a type of content one doesn't wish to see (inb4 tag your shit properly please);

3. It can quickly come off as classist because what if one's only way to enjoy the game is to live it vicariously through other people's content because say, they can't afford it (either too young and their family won't invest in the game and the gear to run it for whatever reason, or simply someone who generally can't afford it? Like idk what's the price of a PS5 in some of y'all's country, but in my country it's almost 800€. That's a lot of money just for a console. Don't get me started on gaming laptops and desktops, the only way to hace something decent is to slowly build it yourself with some clever part hunting for something that won't literally cost you a month-worth salary);

4. Having been in that exact position of having to live videogames vicariously through other people myself, for the longest time, and still having trouble sharing my own stuff now because I don't feel at my place in the gaming community simply because I couldn't afford it for so long, this post hits close to home in an unpleasant manner. Sure, Tiktok isn't a reference (like, generally speaking. Don't go on Tiktok if you really want to learn about stuff and build informed opinions/media literacy), but following streamers on Twitch for example is very helpful in that regard because it's raw footage and one can actually learn from it (on top of having fun in the chat if the community is cool). Checking quality gaming/analysis channels on YT can also help acquire enough knowledge to build a solid opinion.

5. This is literally a game with a fuckton of options for the storyline. No matter how much you'll play it, there will always be someone else, somewhere else, who'll figure out something you've never picked up. It's a very common occurrence on the subreddit. So judging people because they don't play the game kinda misses the mark even in that aspect. Instead of criticising people for getting their informations from Tiktok, I think it'd be more productive to either simply ignore these people, or engage with them in a manner that makes them want to dig further and learn more through other, more interesting/reliable sources.

Now mind you, my own opinion on that matter is very likely colored by the fact I'm a TTRPG player IRL, I've literally had experiences of one DM animating a one-shot with different groups and everybody getting to discuss all of the outcomes afterwards (it's an interesting thing to experience, highly recommend it) - it's very similar to games like BG3 where one has multiple paths depending on one's decisions for the storyline, or more generally games with multiples endings (like my beloved Dishonored and Bloodborne, for example). There's also the fact that I simply avoid what I consider bad takes, I literally don't interact with it, I block if necessary to curate my feed. So maybe I'm just like "ok some people build bad takes from Tiktok instead of getting into the game proper, I'll just steer clear of them" in term of stance, which makes me much more moderate in my opinion of these people - I actively make the choice to ignore them and vibe in my corner.

I'm just sad to see many people I know from the Raphael Corner agree with that initial opinion piece so eagerly.

#crow speaks #i'm leaving that out of the tags #not willing to start a fight with the Raphael Corner over that topic #but that initial post saddened me ngl #i get what OP means but I don't fully agree with it and find the core message to be dangerously close to pretention #that's not how one grabs people's attention for general improvement #will likely not engage much here because the initial post made me uncomfortable

2 notes · View notes

bright-and-burning · 18 days

Text

thank u for the tag @monacotrophywife this took. too long to get around to lol

15 questions !!

are you named after anyone? my govie name no but eve yes! it’s my great grandma’s. my dad’s family has a kind of idk policy where your first name is Yours but your middle name is from somebody else. so my siblings and cousins and i have Original Names (not original as in like mackayleigheey just original as in not somebody else’s already. bc believe me some of our names are BASIC) and our middle names are all from grandparents + further back.

when was the last time you cried? i’ve been on the verge of tears a LOOOOOT lately. and i shed like five tears last week. but like Really cried was like january 11th ish when i moved out. i’ve had this stuffed rabbit since i was ~2 and my parents bought a perfect duplicate like the second month id had it bc i was so attached that they were like. we can NOT lose it and not have a backup (despite this i called both the same name). so i packed up one rabbit to take with me to my first solo apartment as a Real Adult and left one in my childhood bedroom. and that fucked me up soooo bad lol like the idea of here’s kid eve and here’s adult eve diverging paths… anyways.

do you have kids? i fuckin better not

what sports do you play/have you played? soccer, taekwondo, dance (ballet and tap for ~10 years) if you count that, running, a little bit of figure skating but like bootleg (aka my dad teaching me or me teaching myself w second hand skates) uhhhh. i feel like im forgetting something. oh gymnastics when i was very small. they had a lot of like, free/reduced cost sports opportunities for poor kids in my city so i’ve done a lot of things lol. owned a lot of second/third/fourth hand sports equipment over the years. if you’re in america (i cannot guarantee this exists anywhere else) and you’re in need of expensive sports equipment for cheap (or you’re looking to donate old sports equipment!) find yourself a play it again sports they came THROUGH for me and my siblings as a bunch of athletic poor kids

do you use sarcasm? frequently irl. probs less so online bc i don’t feel like it carries very well lol

what is the first thing you notice about people? hair!!!!! but otherwise it varies a lot. my favorite way to interact w ppl for the first time is to find something to compliment them on so i’m usually scanning everything to find like, oh they’ve got cool hair, cool tattoos, funky shoes, a fun patterned scrunchie, whatever.

what is your eye color? i Technically have heterochromia. but mostly green, i just have one solid brown stripe across my left eye

scary movies or happy endings? i don’t like Most Horror in general (tho i do fuck with a psychological thriller or black comedy movie a la the menu or last night in soho) so i’m gonna say happy endings

any talents? is it rude to say lots. lol. painting is probably my most “surprising” one. i can also still passably tap dance despite it being nearly 10 years since i stepped foot in a real studio. speed reading is another one; for some novels (shoutout pratchett for writing the world’s most readable and engaging novels) i was averaging like 550 wpm

where were you born? los angeles, baby. city of angels. la la land. tinseltown. etc

what are your hobbies? i am very good at picking up new hobbies and very bad at sticking with them for very long (until i get reinvested for like three weeks before dropping again etc). right now probably baking is the big one? writing. i’m trying to get back into painting this week actually!! we’ll see if i succeed

do you have any pets? my apartment is unfortunately pet free :( but my family pets are WONDERFUL. i have a dog who is a pitbull-corgi-mutt (so literally picture a corgi butt, legs, and the floppy baby corgi ears, plus a fat pitbull body, skull, and smile), and an orange cat :)

how tall are you? 5’0 on a good day

favorite subject at school? MATH!!!!! god bless math everybody. i had optional math homework in high school and sometimes when i was really annoyed w my other work i would procrastinate by doing the optional math work lol

dream job? i mean if anyone wants to step up and be my patron so i can oil paint photorealistic fabric folds all day… no but uhh what i do rn is my “realistic” dream job. my unrealistic but still technically feasible dream job is sports analytics. and my totally infeasible and impossible dream job is Art.

i’m gonna be honest i am so deeply behind on this that i think everyone has done it already. but if you haven’t and you’d like to, please consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #not to say that art is an infeasible career #just that i like art and data equally and have not had like basically Any training in art #so obviously i chose the thing i liked the same amount (data/math/cs) that i could turn into a career significantly more easily

2 notes · View notes

lilolilyr · 1 year

Text

I do Not have the time to write fic right now, in fact I shouldn't even be online right now because I have so many things to do, so I definitely don't have the time to write the longfic this idea deserves to be but -

I had a random thought and now I'm just obsessed with the idea of an Elinor Lives AU where Ellie finds Bernie when everyone thinks she's dead.

Doesn't really matter why Elinor lives, can be full on AU ignoring any of that ever happened or just turning the same storyline into her just barely surviving or anything in between... But she's alive, she was around for the whole Bernie/Serena debacle and now she sees her mum break after Bernie's disappearance and 'death', and while everyone who knew Bernie is paralyzed by worry then grief, Elinor needs to do something.

Maybe she chats with journalist students in her dorm, or a professor who used to be a war correspondent... She gets some contacts needed to start her research, it's not like she can actually leave the country, she couldn't do that by to her mum and she's to scared anyway, but she ends up playing a literal game of telephone passing information back and forth and asking others to ask others about the missing blonde, and it's hard but she's already failing her semester so she might as well do something worthwhile instead of focusing on exams she'll have to repeat anyway... And she wants to do her damnest to figure out where that woman who her mum loves and who disappeared might have gone, because grieving for someone when there's no body is just 'bloody stupid', and she knows she's been a brat a lot of the time but she just wants her mum back, her mum who's happy and annoyingly curious and always there for her, okay?

And then, when it's time for the funeral (okay, very dramatic daydreaming on my part here, maybe if someone wants to write this into an actual fic you can go less Last Second) she's just found out where Bernie is, and proof that she's alive, and shows up like 'well, let's get this farce over with' 'farce?' 'oh idk maybe that her ex is giving her speech and her other ex is pretending to be her fiancé, or, oh, maybe the fact that you're burying an empty coffin in honour of a woman who isn't even dead?'

Serena gasps. Elinor hadn't seen her, she was just ranting at whoever stood closeby outside of the building while she was looking for her mum, but now Serena's by her side immediately. 'Elinor?? What are you doi- what are you talking about??'

So she tells her. She's alive, in hospital, injured but alive, conscious even, doesn't have a phone but I managed to get the number of a nurse at her station so we can call, if you like... Maybe she has a picture of her too, grainy small image someone else took with a phone camera worse than her own, of Bernie lying there pale in a hospital bed, smiling awkwardly at the camera.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, Elinor sees her mother look happy again.

Berena tag list (lmk if you want on/off it): @sapphicdbc @akaanonymouth @starfleetwitch @shippingsincebeforeyouwereborn

What can I say, I'm just a sucker for all the hurt/comfort happy ending everybody lives AUs <3 I really Really want to see this fic come to life but I have two deadlines next week and another the week after so I can't just take a few hours to couple days off to write... And I know myself, by the time I have the time I'll have forgotten all about it and five new ideas besides :( so I just wanted to share the idea... maybe someone else wants to pick it up, or just enjoys the little outline I wrote down here :)

#berena #Elinor lives #lilo writes #lilo writes behind the scenes #my berena #berena tag list #tag list #holby city #my post #mine #jan'23 #13.1.23 #fanfic idea #my fanfic idea #berena fanfic idea

18 notes · View notes

normally-o-a-k · 1 year

Text

Hey look a fanfiction

Scam/Jodie

Friends to lovers, multi chapter, no beta we die like Glenn, idk what to tag this I’ve never written fic before lmao, spoilers kinda? There’s some more chatting with the season one dads on the phone lmao it’s not the whole chapter don’t worry.

Rating: still Teen

Chap 6/?

(Double update today!)

Previous chapter:

Jodie couldn’t sleep at all, lying on his side, wings folded behind him, the tip of his tail repeatedly tapping the bed.

He was completely restless. Talking with Glenn had gone better than he expected, but still… his warning had made him uneasy.

Sure he liked Scam… but did he trust him?

He didn’t think he could honestly answer yes…

By morning he’d only gotten two hours of sleep, every minute of his dream spent back on the couch with Scam. He climbs out of bed, showers ,dresses and gets breakfast, knowing better than to expect Scam at the breakfast table this time, he leaves Scam’s dish on the table and heads back to his office to try and get some work done so they could go out later.

Out with his boyfriend…

Jodie buries his face in his hands. He hadn’t been out on a date in…. Over a decade at least… and Hell’s date spots were limited to say the least… with the Doodler on earth it wasn’t exactly like he could take him there… it felt just a bit fucked up to be worrying about date spots when the other daddies and the kids were off trying to find a solution in the forgotten realms…. Should he call someone and ask for advice? Glenn and Ron were really the only two that knew…

He calls Glenn again.

“What’s up?”

“Did you meet up with everyone else?”

“Yeah yeah, we’re good man. You want to check in with Nicky?”

“Yeah, can I talk to you a bit first?… is it Uh, a bit fucked up that I’m taking time to date right now when you guys are trying to save Earth?”

“Yeah a little bit but…” Glenn sighs “man, everybody deserves love, no one’s going tell you not to try for it if you think there’s a chance… besides, we’re doing fine! We’ll probably have this Doodler thing solved in a couple more months…”

“Yeah… okay… look it’s been a while since I went out… I stopped doing date nights after Nicolas turned five…what’s a good-… what do I-“

“Okay okay, here’s the move, you gotta impress him! what are you good at?”

“Paperwork, killing, maiming…” Jodie Frowns.

“So like cop shit. Damn, you really are screwed aren’t you? I’m guessing you don’t want to just bone down, you probably want that sensitive style dating…”

“It’s called taking it slow idiot… but yeah… I…absolutely have to take it slow with him….shit Glenn he’s a really good kisser, I’ve never felt so out of control in my life…”

“Gross…”

“I mean, that too…but I lost control of my flames and nearly set him on fire…”

“Well fuck, man I don’t know… maybe like set up something romantic? Chicks love candles so maybe he will too? Henry is bi, you should ask him how to romance guys…” he calls Henry over “Hey Henry, come help this idiot”

“Hey Jodie! How’s h-e-double hockey sticks? Jodie says you need help? I don’t know if I can help but I’ll give it my best shot!”

“Hey Henry, uh look I, can you keep this from the kids? I started seeing someone new… and I’m a little rusty on romance…”

“Oh Sure buddy! Mercedes and I do date night weekly, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I think they’re pretty darn romantic! What’s your new beau like? You know, A lot of romance is showing the person how well you know them”

“He uh, he’s clever, and he loves games… and stirring things up… he always dresses nice… his favorite movie is Hero… he smells like axe …” he smiles “he’s fun…“

“He likes games and stirring things up…and he smells like axe body spray?” Henry pieces it together pretty easily “Jodie… are you sure dating this guy is a good idea?”

“What..because of the axe? It’s not that bad, it kinda smells nice after a while…”

“No because it’s…” Henry whispers “Scam Actually?” He sighs “I know he’s mellowed out a bit, but I mean…you know what? No. you’re a grown guy, you can make your own decisions, and most of his pranks didn’t actually put any of us in real danger…I’ll support you! So …… you need ideas on how to romance him? ….Does he eat?”

“He ate yesterday? I don’t think he needs to though….? I think he might have been serious about feeding on misery”

“Well there ya go! There’s a lot of that down in Heck now isn’t there? Why not treat him to a misery buffet? He’d probably love that kind of thing!”

“Yeah I think you’re right… but is that romantic enough?”

“Probably? If you’re looking to tell how he feels about you why don’t you ask? A little emotional honesty is good for a starting relationship!”

“Henry I can’t do that!” He wasn’t ready at all for that kind of talk.

“Okay well you know, some people find that hard and that’s okay! there’s another way to get at least an Idea of what’s in his heart, it’s like that song by Cher says ‘it’s in his kiss’! So when you get to that point, you’ll probably be able to feel his emotions by how passionate it is!”

Jodie turns a brighter red “Henry I’ve kissed him twice…”

“Is it insensitive if I ask how that went? I’m sorry if it is, I’m just super curious!”

“It … was the best kiss of my life… he left me breathless twice… I can’t tell what his emotions were through a kiss like that Henry, I barely kept control of myself” He rubs his face with both his hands “it’s embarrassing….”

“With… with Scam? I mean I guess I can see that?… he’s pretty charismatic? He’s not…not good looking? How did it happen?” Henry sounded hesitant to say the least

“During truth or dare…and then once after he confessed…”

“You willingly played truth or dare with him?! Jodie is that safe? You remember last time-“

“I know but it was… it was fun Henry, I actually had a pretty good time…he didn’t make me do anything I didn’t already want to… “

“You guys are probably a better match then I thought… I wouldn’t have been brave enough to play another game of it with him that’s for sure…”

“I’m glad I did it.”

“Look Jodie, I know we said it was going to be a week, but the plan failed and we could really use him back, he’s actually a pretty good asset in fights…”

“yeah… okay” Shit, he’d been banking on having him stay the week.

“We can do without him for today, it’ll probably be fine…so maybe if you sent him back tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah…thanks Henry… can you put Nicky on the phone?”

“Yeah sure buddy… sorry for, you know..”

“It’s fine, priorities, I get it…”

He felt guilty now for wanting to spend more time with Scam. He could hear the phone getting passed off.

“Hey dad.”

“How was it? Are you alright?”

“You worry too much… I’m fine! We had to take out two giants because Henry blew our cover and then Glenn and Ron got separated from us. We should have sent you Henry to watch, he’s so bad at lying.” He laughs.

“Yeah Henry is a pretty bad liar” he smiles but then realizes that the pretty bad liar knows what’s up with him and Scam so it’s only matter of time before everyone knows.

“How’s it going with Glenn?”

“Good actually…”

“I know it’s probably a bit difficult remembering two different-“

“Dad I’m fine. We’ve talked about this I’m not you.”

“Okay…but you know if you want a break-“

“I don’t want to go stay with mom. I want to help my friends.”

“Alright Nicky.”

“How was babysitting Scam?”

It was an innocent question but Jodie felt instantly embarrassed. “Pretty good actually, we had a fun time.”

“He’s kinda fun I guess. He hasn’t messed with you?” He laughs

“No, nothing too bad, he took off for a bit and had me looking through repeating rooms for an hour or so last night but that’s about the worst of it”

“Weird….hey uh It looks like Ron’s about to fill us in on last night so I gotta go… see you Dad.”

“Love you, stay safe.”

The phone clicks and Jodie puts it back down on his desk, he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Shit, there goes his week… and it didn’t sound like Nicky and Glenn were coming back any time soon either.

He felt so guilty for wishing Scam could just stay…At least they had today…

He leaves his office and heads down the hall to look for Scam.

———

Scam had admittedly taken some things for granted. One of them had been the (apparently inaccurate) freedom to roam Jodie’s castle. He’d decided to take a walk after Jodie said Goodnight to relax, and said walk had led him past some really interesting looking doors, Interesting enough that stopping infront of them got him chased out of the hallway by guards.

Which is exactly when he’d got it in his head that breaking and entering was probably a great way to blow off steam. Jodie had forbidden him from using magic with his dare and he wasn’t going to break the rules of a game so he’d have to do it the old fashioned way.

By the look of the absolutely massive golden doors this was probably the treasury, which meant it wasn’t going to be easy to get in and out unnoticed. This also meant it had the potential to be very very fun.

He waits around the corner taking inventory of what he had on hand. He couldn’t change himself or summon other items without magic so this was a rather serious test of skill for him. He’d have to thank Jodie for such a fun evening in the morning.

He hums to himself, pulling on some fingerless gloves, fashion was the first step in any plan after all. He laments the fact that he’d have to stay in his burnt suit for this but there was no getting around it without magic, his entire wardrobe was tied up in glamor magic so he was sure it would definitely count as a spell if he used it. He reaches into his pouch and tosses a vial of alchemical sleep gas around the corner at the guards, waiting for a moment for it to kick in.

Once he heard the telltale thump of both guards hitting the floor he rounds the corner and pulls out thieves tools, getting to work on the lock, popping it easily. Feeling emboldened by how easy this was so far, he decides to add a bit of flourish to his ‘just go in and out’ plan, maybe he’d just take a single thing and give it back to Jodie in the morning as a souvenir of his little caper. He hops over a few obvious traps and heads straight for a crown set on a pedestal in the center of the room. Perfection! He could just imagine the look on Jodie’s face when he drops his treasured crown into his lap, he’d have to be impressed! His grin widens and he grabs the crown.

Which didn’t feel like a crown at all. Instead the metal instantly liquified, fusing to the pedestal and trapping Scams hand between the two.

“Uh oh~ This isn’t a very good look~”, recognizing that he was effectively trapped there, he just poses for the drama of it. It took less than a few seconds for a dozen or so guards to find him like that.

It didn’t quite hit Scam how much trouble he was actually in until His magic did not work when dawn hit. Unable to just teleport out of the cell they’d put him in, panic starts to set in, though he’d never show it on the surface. The dungeon was probably packed to the brim with magic cancelling items. “Hey Mr. Guard?~ yoo hoo, I need a little help over here~ you see this bar is a little loose, and if I were to move it I could just slip out~ and you wouldn’t want that would you?”

He waits for the guard to get close and keeps him distracted with the ‘not actually loose’ iron bar while he uses his tail to carefully remove the keys from the guards belt. He needed to get out of here and fast.

“I should have expected something like this.” Jodie descends the stone steps opposite Scam’s cell and frowns, looking exhausted and hurt.

Scam tenses, dropping the keys. He needed to play this off, so he backs away from the guard and leans against the bars, he laughs, trying to look sexy and unaffected by his own predicament. “fancy meeting you here~ do you come here often?”

It wasn’t working. Jodie’s frown deepens “I thought you didn’t care about money”

“Oh not at all, it’s pointless for someone like me~” He grins and reaches through the bars reaching for Jodie’s hand “you know me so well~ I knew you wouldn’t misunder-“

“Then why did you try and rob me last night? They literally caught you red handed…” Jodie pulls his hand away.

“Well Actually, They literally caught me Gold handed! I only broke in to see if I could and , what do you know, I was able to get in without any magic at all! Out not so much~ if I had been a bit less eager to surprise you it would have been fine~ It was all just a game! ” he was starting to get nervous now… Jodie was supposed to understand…

Jodie’s expression wasn’t softening. “How much of it was a game?”

“If I told you it was just the teensy bit of B&E would you even believe me?~ I think you have some wrong ideas about what I’d joke about~ you wound me Jodie!” He clasps his hands over his chest “How can I prove to you that you can trust little old Me~?”

“You’re in a cell Scam. I think it’s pretty clear I can’t.” Jodie sighs and turns to a guard. “Let him go. He’s leaving anyway.”

Scam’s expression drops “I thought we had a date planned?”

“Look around you Scam. Really take it in and ask yourself why you think that would possibly still happen?”

“You wouldn’t have been mad if I had pulled it off~ you would have even found it charming!” He steps around the guard who unlocked his cell, moving towards Jodie.

“Maybe, but How am I supposed to trust that you’re even telling me the truth about your plan?” Jodie still frowns but his expression does soften a bit. He stops making eye contact, focusing on the far wall instead of Scam’s visibly disappointed face. “Look, just…go okay?…they’re done with being undercover…and the date is off…so there’s no reason for you to hang around.” He opens a portal for Scam.

“I see.” He doesn’t try to defend himself any further, he steps through the portal and heads back to the Daddies.

15 notes · View notes