#if I thought anyone else was left in the tag at this point I'd post about it but twas not to be

[red-umbrella-811]

Okay I know no one is reading this here but me but on May 8th we have asters and goldenrod and sumac in New Hampshire? These people 100% spent the summer doing this trip and did NOT think at all about how setting the story 4 months earlier would affect the experience (those things should be blooming in August)

#the lightning conductor discovers america #the lightning conductor #literary letters #honestly it's been extremely surreal to be reading about locations I have been to #if I thought anyone else was left in the tag at this point I'd post about it but twas not to be

[bloodynectarine]

Boiling point

After weeks of holding himself together and setting clear boundaries, only for them to be broken over and over again, MC snaps.

tags. male mc, post-lesson 16, belphie is his own trigger warning, angst, ptsd, mild violence, hurt and comfort.

notes. i don't want therapy, i want revenge. everyone got over belphie killing us way too quickly, and i find it frustrating. you know what would be really fun? to punch belphie. love him, but the amount of serotonin he would bring into my life if i could just… punch him once. a boy can dream.

Dying and somehow living to tell the tale was not exactly in your plans when you decided to help the demon stuck in the attic.

Sure, you knew it was dangerous and sure, you understood it was a gamble. But you never quite got that your life was at stake until you felt Belphegor's cold grip around your neck and your vision started to get fuzzy at the edges.

Oh, you thought, with startling clarity.

I'm going to die.

You may still be here, but no, you did not survive Belphegor's wrath and hurt. The sensation of phantom hands pressing down your throat never quite left you.

And Belphegor is nothing but a cruel reminder of the night you died.

First, comes the terror. Even with the pact to protect you, in the days following the event, you can't help but freeze every time Belphegor is in the same room.

As you get used to his presence around the House of Lamentation, as he insists in siting next to you during breakfast and in holding your arm on your way to class, the terror slowly subsides, opening way for a different, less familiar feeling.

Annoyance. Anger. Borderline rage.

Who does he think he is?

Who does he think we are? Best friends, family?

“Belphegor…”, you call for the demon that's already laying on top of your lap, with a tense smile hanging from your lips.

This week's movie night was held in your room. It was one of the rare occasions in which all the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation were present. Even Lucifer is here, looking comically out of place, regal and all seriousness, as if he were in the middle of a meeting and not watching a three-hour-long romance anime film.

Mammon got off from his “rightful place” (“DIBS”, the demon of greed shouted as soon as you sat down, throwing himself across your lap), to rip the remote control out of Levi's hands, who kept rewinding the same scene over and over again (“It's really important for the plot!!!”).

And in the middle of the squabble, Belphegor appeared out of nowhere to climb into your lap, and just. Cuddle.

At your call, he looks up and blinks lazily at you, with his big eyes and his messy bedhead. And the image should be endearing, really, but your chest feels cold, and you can feel your limbs locking in place. You feel trapped, uncomfortable. Ah, it's fear.

“I need. A bit of space. Could you sit somewhere else?”, you manage to let out, and your voice is the only sound in the room. Quarrel and movie long-forgotten, everyone is watching the two of you. Beel was the one who took over and put the film on pause.

Belphegor blinks the drowsiness out of his eyes. His brow furrows, just a little, and if anything, he looks put off by the question, a little lost.

“I don't want to sit anywhere else. I know Mammon was here just seconds ago, but I'm a better cuddle-partner than him anyway. You can ask anyone.”

And he doesn't move. He lays his head against your chest with a yawn.

“I don't…” want to be close to you. You stop yourself from uttering those words, mindful and considerate, truly doing your best. You don't want to lie either, so you decide to play around with the phrasing. “I'd rather you gave Mammon his place back. Or, you know what? I can change seats myself.”

Your tone is as lighthearted as you can manage, and you start to get up from the couch, with Asmo, who's sitting next to you, moving out of the way to give you the space that you need. The space you very specifically asked for.

But Belphegor's weight is heavy against you and traps you in place. Not only that, but his hand reaches for your arm and pulls, looking at you with the same bewildered expression as before, genuinely confused. When you fall against the couch, still under him, you're reminded of how strong he is. Of how weak you're in comparison.

“Oi, Belphie. No one is better at cuddles than me”, says Mammon after a too long pause. “And of course he wants to be with the great Mammon, everyone does. Now move, we still have, like, two hours left of the movie and if we don't finish it tonight, Levi is going to complain all week.”

Levi, who would normally jump into the conversation to defend himself, is barely visible, half hidden between Beel and Satan. His eyes dart between you and the hand that's holding your arm.

“Well, we are already so comfy, so I won't get up”, you wonder who “we” is. Belphegor talks lazily and moves the hand that isn't holding you in a dismissing manner, as if this was not more than a bothersome request, interrupting his nap for nothing.

Your teeth grind together, and there it is, once again. The ugly pressure that holds your gut in a tight grip, the heavy discomfort in your throat. Once foreign, but now you can tell it apart so easily. Anger.

“Belphegor. You heard him already.” This time, Lucifer is the one talking, and he sighs as he gets up, coming closer in an attempt to pry him away from you.

“Oh, please.” Belphegor rolls his eyes, clearly irked by Lucifer's intervention. “We are okay. Right?”, he looks back at you, and this time around his voice is filled with doubt, bordering hopeful, searching for something in your eyes.

“We aren't.” At last, you say it, flatly, and it comes out sharper than you intended, if the way Belphegor flinches and Asmo whimpers is any indication. You're tired, what little patience you have left is quickly running out thanks to the stubborn remarks and your words falling on deaf ears. “Let me move.”

The demon on your lap has the gall to look affronted, hurt. His bewildered expression does nothing more than increase the feeling already boiling deep within you. You can feel Satan's eyes boring in your cheek, but you refuse to look at him.

“Hey… Relax”, Belphegor mutters, now looking a little concerned too. For you. He's worried about you, and yet he still won't get up. “Are you okay? What's wrong?”

What's wrong.

What's wrong?

You're so taken aback by the question that by the time you react, his hand is already on its way to hold your cheek.

The most violent of flashbacks comes through you, a whiplash that hits you with the force of a truck. His handprints on your neck, trying to catch your breath, feeling cold all over, with the only warmth coming from your own blood ringing loudly in your ears, flowing right next to his voice, so full of hatred.

You can't freeze this time around, you need to move, you need to run, you need to do something, anythi--

“Belphie, I don't think you sh--” Satan tries to warn him, but it's too late.

By the time Belphegors fingertips touch your cheek (and this time they're warm, not dead-cold, you notice with surprise) your fist is already hitting against his nose, punching him right in the middle of his face, with a force you didn't even knew you had in you.

Not that you've ever done it before, but you can imagine this is what it feels like to hit a wall. Your hand hurts and goes numb.

The impact pushes Belphegor against the cushions, his hands flying to cover his nose. And any other day it would have been impossible, your punch would never land (he's that much faster, that much stronger), but right now he was so worried about you, so desperate to stick by you. His guard was as down as it will ever be.

His nose is bleeding, you notice, at the same time as Asmo gets up with a gasp. Levi shrieks in the background, and Mammon let's out this weird noise, a mix between one of his “Oi”, your name, and a scream.

Everything stands still, and, to your credit, you're just a shocked as everyone else.

With the punch, all anger has left your body, and now you're just a bunch of nerves, looking at Belphegor with big eyes. Belphegor looks back at you, so shocked, and you suddenly feel like crying. Oh, how much you hate being an angry-crier.

Satan is the one that breaks the silence, with a heavy sigh. “Told you so.”

Beel comes next, taking two steps in your direction but stopping when you raise your palm. You're trembling, but you come close to Belphegor all the same, refusing to back down.

“Asshole.” It's the first thing you say, and defying the impossible, Belphegor's eyes grow even wider as you tower over him, kneeling on the couch.

“Are you deaf? Wasn't I clear enough? Loud enough?”, and when you raise your fist in the air, Lucifer approaches, but all you do is gently punch Belphegor's chest. Again and again. “I told you to move. Several times. And still, you didn't. I was… I was dying of fear, and you weren't moving.”

“You, inconsiderate shit.” Punch. “You, deaf moron.” Punch.

“You… Stubborn cow.”

Belphegor has let the blood simply flow across his face, and now he's kneeling in front of you, holding his own hands, the same surprised look on his face.

And that's that.

You let your arms fall with a groan and simply sigh. For Diavolo, violence really isn't for you, you are so tired.

“S-Should we separate them?” Levi asks in a trembling voice, frantically waving his hands, unable to decide whether to approach or flee.

“No. He has more to say.” Satan gently holds Levi's wrists, and waits.

That's when you realize that yes, you got more to say. In fact, you've had something to say for way too long, and now you're dying to get it off your chest.

“I gave you my trust, and I knew I was being childish and reckless in doing so, but all I wanted was to help. I cried for you, I felt for you, and I did everything I could to be by your side even though all I had to offer was just. Just me. Mortal, human. And in response, you killed me.” Belphegor recoils at your words, but you go on.

“It hurt. It still hurts, even now. Sometimes I see you and all I can think about is your betrayal.”

Belphegor looks down, biting his lips, in silence. You can see his hands shaking, and you remember your talk under the stars, his eagerness when he offered you a pact. When he gave you the control you needed. His hands were shaking back then, too.

With a groan, you reach out to hold his chin, lifting his face. You take the long sleeve of your pajamas and begin to wipe the blood running down his chin, across his lips. Slowly, with care.

Your fingers run through his hair just to be able to look directly into his eyes. He looks anxious, fearful, and you know that your next words have the power to break or mend his heart.

So you decide to, once more, open yours and leave the rest in his hands.

“I don't hate you. And this isn't me cutting our ties. I understand your pain, I really do. Please, understand mine.”

Your thumb caresses over his forehead. Carefully, gently.

“I need time. I'll let you know when I'm ready.”

Belphegor inhales and exhales deeply, holding your gaze. Slowly, but surely, he takes your hand between his, from his forehead to his lips, leaving the lightest of kisses against your palm. You feel the pact mark that binds you together tremble and sing.

“I'm sorry. For the pain, for my insistence, I just… Wanted to be close. I need to be close. I'll wait for you.”

Straightforward as ever. But you are struck by the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, and this time around it takes you no more than a second to nod.

“Right. Be good and wait for me.”

Unable to resist, you pat his head, just as you would to a small, rebellious child. He's the baby of the family, after all. He groans, and you laugh, feeling so much lighter. And unbelievably tired.

By the time you remember that you're not alone in the room and turn around to placate the others, you make eye contact with Satan.

He's looking prouder than ever, the little smile on his lips telling enough. “Go on”

The brothers needed no further prompting to launch themselves at the two of you, a jumble of limbs and shrill voices.

“MC, that was, as usual, reckless. From now on, fist fights are forbidden in and out of the house. Evade further conflicts.”

“B-But wasn't MC so cool?!?! Belphie is so much stronger, but he was down with one punch! W-way too op, MC!!”

“Oi! Human, how dumb can ya be?! Tell me before you go around punchin' demons, I can punch them for ya!”

“I knew you were good at controlling your anger, but I never imagined that much. You are full of surprises.”

“Belphie, gosh, your clinginess finally got you in trouble, mh? Your surprised face was so cute! Do you need concealer?”

“Belphie, does it hurt? Do you need ice? We have popsicles in the freezer… Wait, I ate them all yesterday, sorry Belphie… Do you want me to go and buy more? MC, which flavor would you like?”

“We are good, Beel.” Belphegor answers, still looking at you. “Right?”

You laugh at his not-so-subtle search for assurance, and your chest feels astonishingly full. “We will be, for sure.”

Movie night turns right into a sleepover after that, as every single one of the demon brothers refuses to leave your room. Lucifer might roll his eyes, but he still settles on your couch, right next to Satan.

And for the first time in weeks, you're able to close your eyes and rest, feeling safe and at home.

ao3 ― writing tag

#bloodynectarine #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me angst #obey me belphegor #obey me male mc #obey me male reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me asmo #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #obey me x reader #obey me lesson 16 #belphegor x mc #obey me brothers #belphegor obey me #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #satan obey me #levi obey me #asmodeus obey me #beelzebub obey me #obey me mc

[flowerandblood]

ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit

And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

#one year anniversary #celebration

[fleursroses]

Of boys and boxes

Holy shit I reached 250 followers yesterday!! Genuinely I want to thank you so much. So, in honour of that here's finally the fic I said I'd write back in like October (whoops). It's inspired by this post by @ggomos-maribat​, so if you're wondering why you got tagged in this, it's because you asked to in case anyone wrote something for it. I hope it lives up to your expectations!!! I will also post this on AO3 and reblog with the link. But for now, enjoy <333

However Marinette thought it would be to be the Guardian of the Miracle Box, she couldn't exactly say it would even come close to reality. Sure, the whole thing surrounding Hawkmoth that got her in the situation in the first place generally sucked a lot, but in a way she knew what she could expect. Then Shadowmoth happened, and Monarch, who eventually all turned out to be Gabriel Agreste, the fucking dad of her longtime crush and partner Chat Noir. Yeah, talk about killing the mood. 

Okay, if she was being honest, at that point the feelings for either had been fading for a while, mainly due to all the stress being Guardian put on her life. Sometimes she couldn't help but resent Fu for all that he, although not necessarily on purpose, had forced her to go through, from losing her childhood so early without any guidance, to making her feel like she wasn't allowed to have feelings without putting the world that was laid upon her thin shoulders at risk. It never felt fair though, because she knew Fu had had to go through the same thing. At least she still had some sort of support network. 

Still, the whole thing left her too traumatised to really want to pursue Adrien any further, or anyone else for that matter. This was fine by her, and although he was a bit disappointed, Adrien understood and respected her feelings on this matter. She was glad she could still have him by her side, despite it not being the future they had both dreamed of. 

However, being left with a bit too much time on her hands, Marinette had decided to focus more on her duties as guardian, wanting to fully uncover its secrets without the threat of having all the kwamis being stolen from her again hanging over her head. And as much as she wished Fu had trained her more, she didn't think he had known about... certain connections the miracle box had to various organisations either. Wasn't that just her luck?

It had been 3 years since Hawkmoth had been defeated, and Marinette had spent most of that time travelling all over the world. Every so often she would return to Paris again though, to meet up with her old friends. They would go out for drinks and Marinette would tell all about the classes she followed online to get a business degree, as well as tell about where she had been and what she had done as Guardian. She had to admit, it was nice to finally be able to talk about being Ladybug, even if the group who knew was still only really small. Or rather, it was nice to have the possibility. In reality, she was so used to being secretive, out of sheer habit she sometimes forgot to mention things other people would undoubtedly have told their friends. 

It would go like this: One of the times she was back after a particularly long 5 months away, Marinette invited Adrien, Alya, Nino, Kagami and Chloé to hang out at the bakery with her. Just as she was telling a story about the crazy commission she had gotten from one of Jagged's friends, something she occasionally did to help keep her afloat while she was abroad, she got a call from an, to her friends, unfamiliar name. Apologizing to the group, who assured her it was fine, she answered. Her and the guy on the other end held a short civil conversation, ending with Marinette promising she would drop something of his by his place at her earliest convenience and then ended it just as quickly. When asked about the other guy, she just said "Oh that's just Damian, I met him in Tunisia," and then immediately went back to her story again, as if nothing had really happened.

Yet, this Damian continued to show up in conversations after that. Over time her friends gathered that although they had met in Tunisia, he was apparently American, had a big family and a preference for the same martial arts Marinette did. She didn't talk about him all that much, mostly just mentioned him every so often, like when Alya accompanied her to her favourite fabric store while she was still in the neighbourhood. 

"And so this creep comes up to me all macho like I didn't just pepperspray one of his friends right in front of him- Wait Mari check this green satin out, don't you think it would look nice on Adrien?"

Marinette came over and inspected the fabric, and while picking up the roll noted "I think it's a bit too dark for him, but I think it would look really good on Damian instead. He has this weird thing about green as a family colour or whatever, maybe I can make him something?"

Alya looked curiously as Marinette whipped out her sketchpad and sketched out a whole suit while lost in thought. She didn't take it personally, she knew this was just how the other girl could sometimes get when particularly inspired. Interested, she noted that it had been the thought of Damian that did it this time. But then again, Marinette's mind sometimes worked in the strangest ways, and Alya knew better than to pry or interrupt her. So, she just picked up the story where she had left it, knowing it would eventually find its way into Marinette's brain.

"Anyway, at the end the dude was totally crying and I hadn't even done much yet, you'd totally be proud of me girl-"

In the end, Alya couldn't shake her curiosity. Trying to google the guy didn't help much when she didn't have a surname, and look, she just wanted to know the guy was alright. Not that she didn't trust Marinette's judgement, on the contrary, but it would be nice to have a bit more to go off on. Asking Marinette straight up didn't help much either, only getting her vague answers. But as she offhandedly mentioned it to her friends when Marinette was away again, she found they were also eager to bring up their curiosity. 

"We don't even know what he looks like! But she likes him enough that she makes him fancy clothes of her own volition!" Chloé lamented dramatically. Although she would never admit it, she was a bit miffed she couldn't find out anything about Damian either. Even her sources couldn't tell her anything, and they usually never failed her. 

"I think we should just be happy she is designing again, no matter the reason."

 They all fell silent at Kagami's words, remembering how bad the period after Hawkmoth's defeat had been. It was only then Marinete's cracks had visibly begun to show to all of them, partly through several months void of the usual creative outlets and other emotions in general. It had been... rough, to say at the least.

"Still though. I don't think she has designed this much for one person since, disregarding Jagged's commissions. And she doesn't even talk about him! I mean, when I'm alone with her she always talks about all of you like you hung up the moon. I don't think she has talked about one person she likes as little as... as Luka."

Nino looked at his girlfriend incredulously. "Are you seriously suggesting Marinette has a crush on Damian? She barely ever even sees him."  

Alya simply shrugs. "I mean, probably not, but it can't hurt to think of all bases, right? But okay, what do you think about this: he is a secret assassin and Marinette made him normal by the power of friendship and now she has to constantly like, check up on him to make sure he doesn't go back to the darkside. No, listen, hear me out-"

Somehow, although they didn't know it, reality had been even stranger. Or well, if they had met years ago Alya could maybe even have been right, but as it was Damian hadn't been part of the "dark side" for a very long time, nor was he in danger of going back. Maybe that would have been sort of preferable to Marinette, but she still supposed her situation wasn't that bad, even though, yes, she was technically speaking kind of stuck. Trying to explain this to her friends was... a feat. 

This is all to say they had found out. It happened when she had invited all her friends over to New York to attend a fashion show she had been allowed to design a small piece for when accidentally gaining attention from yet another designer. When afterwards they were just taking a stroll through the city, all talking excitedly, a beautiful woman had come up to Marinette and taken her aside to talk without paying any heed to her friends. For some reason, they started talking in Mandarin. It wasn't a very long conversation, which ended by the woman patting Marinette on the head and walking away again. 

When she turned around, she found all her friends staring at her, dumbfounded. 

"What?"

"How the hell do you know Talia Head?" Chloé demanded. 

Somehow, Marinette only looked at them blankly, like she had never heard that name in her life. Like she hadn't literally just been talking to the actual CEO of LexCorps. When Chloé told her this, recognition slowly dawned on the other girl.

"Right, Talia. I forgot she's doing that now. Hm. I wonder who she has designing for her, I should ask her..." 

This time, she pulled out a notebook the others hadn't ever seen before, filling it with the strangest characters. There seemed to be some structure to it, possibly making it a language, but it wasn't one any of them had ever seen before.

Later, Marinette would chalk it up to her unfortunately being distracted, but when Alya asked her how she knew Talia then, if it apparently wasn't for her currently being one of the most well known business persons in the world, she just replied "She's my mother-in-law?" like this was a known fact. 

As several voices shrieked "YOU'RE MARRIED??" Marinette suddenly remembered she had not, in fact, told her friends about her marriage yet. 

"I mean, yes, more or less? It happened when I went to China again, and I met this League of uh. League of Assassins. But their leader knew a lot about the Miracle Box and he told me he would share everything with me if I married his grandson. Also that I would probably die if I didn't, but honestly I had hit a dead end so I really needed his knowledge, you know? It's fine though, I don't even know if it's like, legally binding. Also we didn't have to do anything besides be married, so. Pretty good deal actually!"

"HE WHAT-" "ASSASSINS?" "MARINETTE"

It took a lot of time for her friends to settle down, and to accept that she was fine and not under constant threat of being assassinated. It was a whole ordeal. Eventually though, it was Adrien who settled it by quietly asking her whether her husband at least treated her well. 

"I mean, sure, I guess? He's chill. Also, I am provided with so much more knowledge now, I feel like you're not properly considering that pa-." 

She was interrupted by a strange noise coming from her phone. She glanced down, fully prepared to ignore it for the more pressing matters at hand, but upon seeing who had texted her she decided to reply anyway. 

"Hang on, he's texting me, I need to answer this."

Random American dude???

My family just found out that I got married. They're being really annoying about it.

Snorting, she texted back, knowing her friends were still watching her every move.

Vous

Funny how that works, my friends did too just now

I blame your mother tho

She then showed her phone to her friends. "See? Damian and I are fine." 

It was Alya who made the connection first.

"Wait, if you've actually been married to Damian all along, and your mother in law is Talia Head…"

"MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG DID YOU MARRY DAMIAN FUCKING WAYNE?"

Taglist:

@nerd-nowandforever @prettykittytanjiro @toughluna @meira-3919 @taewinterbear95 @maanae @hammalammadamdam @swaggermcjagger @countessdragon @starscreamlover @snorlaxly-tired @illusionwolfwriter24r8 @kaitense1 @wildcardjoey @dramatic-squirrel @leftguard66 @mimblizzy @mikami1992 @tinybrie @theg0ddesspersephone @psychicdelusionwerewolf​ @folk-ever-lore​  

#maribat #daminette #maridami #mlb x dc #maribat fic #fleur writes

[helvonasche]

i quit?

Update: Privated all my fics, deleted everything from AO3. If you want a copy of anything, let me know, but I'm gonna be real picky about who I give copies of anything to.

Now that I've got your attention: I'm quitting fanfic, not writing.

Not deleting my blog or AO3, either, and I'll still be here.

Most of my stories will be staying right where they currently are. I've deleted any posts that are too personal, and this includes a couple fics. If you notice something is missing or a link has broken, please let me know so I can fix it. I still have copies of everything.

So don't be a cuck and ruin this for everyone else. I want to leave this up because I've had my heart broken by writers deleting everything, but I also understand that impulse.

If not writing fics then what? Books.

The reason I started writing fics in the first place was to practice writing and hopefully get better. But at some point I do have to walk away. I'm still gonna be on Tumblr though. And if you wanna ask about book stuff.. do it?

Emotions and reasons below the cut, but that's it. I'm done posting fics, but still vaguely here.

Ugh. Feelings. Fine.

Basically, I've spent most of a year trying to finish the fics I had left and I can't do it. I've sat at the computer for hours, made and remade plans, tried everything I could find for writer's block, drove my friends fucking nuts, had panic attacks... fuck, dude, I've talked to a fucking therapist about it.. and I barely finished Of The Abyss.

I also just had a fucking shitty year. It nearly killed me, not being melodramatic or using hyperbole. I thought I'd lost everything on three separate occasions in only 8 months. It's changed my perspective on a lot of things, but mostly on how I spend my time.

As terrifying as it is to walk away from the vague comfort that is posting fics on Tumblr, the reason I write has also changed.

But the reason I struggled with quitting fics and have tried to keep posting is because I love this stupid place. Don't get me wrong, the bots and staff suck and some people too, but there's so much good here and I will miss that more than.. fuck. There really aren't words for this. Um.. I'm devastated and crying while writing this? It fucking sucks.

I've made friends here. Real ones. Not going to tag, but you know who you are. You have my address. You know my real name. You've probably spoken on the phone to me. And a very very few have met me. Even the people I don't talk to for any number of reasons (mostly because I can be a shitty friend), you're all wonderful and gave me hope that life isn't as awful as it seemed.

You saved me.

Thank you for giving a creep a chance.

And before anyone can ask or point out that I've been struggling with writing... I have been writing. Just not fanfic.

There's more I want to say, but I'm calling it. Going to stop crying and eat something, then write a book.

<3 hel.

#last update for a while #hopefully not too long

[muffinrecord]

Rambling Thoughts (Negative)

Putting this under the cut and out of the main tag for reasons. Sometimes people will read my opinion here and then say it elsewhere-- to be clear, I just want to say my own feelings without influencing anyone about the state of the game.

(also I accidentally lost and rewrote this post twice so I apologize if it feels all over the place)

So yesterday I responded to a post about Homucifer and EOS, but my feelings are actually a little more complicated than that.

The truth is, I do think that this game has maybe another year left, but maybe not more than that. I'm not actually sure how it could keep going-- not because of Akuma Homura, but actually because of all the power creep. But let's talk about Akuma Homura first.

Everyone and their mom knows the issues that plague her release. First off, she didn't get a new shiny transformation video but a copy+paste of her rebellion one. Hell, even youtube was like "this shit isn't original" and gave me this:

This video is banned in Austria and Germany for its content, not because of music (for once) but because it uses footage from the Rebellion movie. Like jeez.

The game has been having issues with its transformation videos for a while now, so I don't think anyone expected something revolutionary for her video-- but to have it just be reused animation is very disappointing for an anniversary unit and such an anticipated one at that. Additionally her chibi poke animation looks super weird and offputting (which is such a stupid complaint but it really adds into every other problem with the unit). Her Doppel reuses more animation, which is a shame.

I think that's the big deal for me-- this is a massively anticipated unit, and she was an Anniversary unit. I think everyone, not just myself, expected more effort to be put into her. I say this as someone who wasn't hyped for Akuma Homura-- I didn't have massive expectations to meet.

All that said, I still don't think that Akuma Homura herself is an EOS signal at this point. I meant it earlier when I said that I think the game has another year left. The entire reason that Devil Homura was considered an EOS signal in the first place was because that was the "big" unit that could for sure draw in the most money. She was the one "oh shit" button that could draw in a crowd and force people to spend money.

And in a way... she kind of did, through some scummy tactics. We all know very well why they released Historia Yachiyo the way they did-- she looks like an Anniversary unit, she has gameplay like one, and her banner runs throughout Anniversary. I completely believe that they released Historia Yachiyo to drain folks' pockets of magia stones so that people would be forced to spend money to get Devil Homura.

All that said-- to go back to my earlier point, I don't think Devil Homura is an EOS signal. I think that Madoka & Homura and Kyoko & Sayaka would fill a similar role. They are also both very anticipated units.

Additionally, I don't think that Akuma Homura being released in such a state, no matter how pathetic, is an EOS signal. As mentioned above, the game is having issues with its transformation videos. If they're going to budget the game accordingly, I'd rather it affect the henshins than anything else.

Here's the thing that makes me think the game is starting to wrap up in this year: Gameplay.

This game is suffering from powercreep. No, it didn't start now, or even last year-- I think Madoka & Iroha definitely began a bad trend which has become more and more monstrous. But even before then, we had units like Yozuru and Mikage which just completely outclassed units before them (before getting outclasses themselves).

But imo, Madoka & Iroha were still at least fun to use? But then you get to units like Devil Homura and Historia Yachiyo.

These units are straight up not fun to play with. In fact, they're the opposite of fun-- you don't even need to play the game. I did all of the EX-Challenges with my Historia Yachiyo and... jeez, the hardest part about them is that I can't turn off magia/doppel animations or use auto. And maybe the answer is: well don't use Historia Yachiyo then.

But what did I roll her for? I want to play with this character. I got her four-slotted. I like her aesthetic. I liked Puella Historia and I want to use a character that encapsulates that.

It's just, it feels like lots and lots of parts of the game that used to be important simply aren't anymore. Remember when the poison used by that one uwasa boss was a murderer for teams? Or the curse inflicted by the little uwasa mail familiars? You don't really need to worry about things like that anymore.

I'm not just speaking as a whale either... I do have alt accounts that don't spend money that I play a whole lot of.

At a certain point, the gameplay gets really really stale, but investing in your characters isn't fruitful anymore either, because they're already maxed in episode levels, magia, doppels... The only reason that Spirit Enhancement isn't maxed is 'cause the middle to large fragments are artificially capped and you can't grind them out.

But how do you give players more ways to invest in their girls without increasing further power creep? Attribute Enhancement was introduced and god, the numbers are fun but also jesus christ. Like, in what possible way can you make the girls have new ways to be new?

....

This really is a ramble.

I don't think the game is going to eos in the next six months or so. I base this on all the promo this anniversary put out (that costs money to make money), all the new quality of life things put in place by anni, the announcement of Magia Day + Scene Zero, and the upcoming movie. These are all signs that the game is gonna keep going for a bit.

But man, it also just kinda sucks that this game I love is actively becoming less fun for me.

[mydaroga]

hi! your tags on that paul and mick post about the thing that ppl cant handle about paul is that he doesn’t really need you, i was wondering if you could elaborate more on that?

Hello nonny! Thanks for asking. I'm going to of course say up front that I am not Paul McCartney, nor do I know him, and all this is pure speculation/interpretation on my part and others might be equally valid. But!

My overwhelming impression of Paul is that he does not let people close easily. We hear this from many quarters, that his friendliness masks an intensely private nature. By his own admission, he is not free with his emotions; there are even times he calls his relationship with John into question and implies it was more proximity/accident than not. When Jane broke up with him, even with as far apart as they'd grown as people, he was left without an emotional confidante. This implies he didn't really avail himself of the multitude of people around him for emotional support. He is intensely loyal to a core group of people, but that circle is fairly small.

Ugh I am so wordy apologies, I'll make a cut for everyone's convenience...

I'd have to look up the quotes and I'm not sure where to begin, but we hear from later colleagues that the intimacy fostered by working together didn't really extend, for Paul, into a real emotional bond. I say this because we've heard from Wings members over the years who complained/lamented that they thought they were closer to Paul than he was to them. Many of those who worked with him, like Elvis Costello, saw their relationship sort of disappear without leaving much of a lasting trace. There is nothing wrong with having working relationships with no fuller emotional bond--my point is, over the years people seem to have thought they had more of one than they did. I suspect Paul being eager to seem open and friendly, his ability to listen and draw you out, could lead to an impression you were closer than you really were.

As for his social life, while obviously there are friendships Paul maintained for long periods of time, and while he always seems to like having someone there, he feels like an out of sight, out of mind sort of person. He and John are very close when in proximity. But when John moves to Weybridge, Paul goes over to work, but we don't hear about them really socializing (until John is practically living with him). With his girlfriends, like Maggie, he'd disappear for awhile and then just sort of turn up when he wanted her. Francie reported Jim asking her to convince him to call home more often. Even as a child, Paul's need for friends was noticeably low, and he relied primarily on Mike and his family for society, despite being chummy with other boys.

What the Mick story brings home, for me, is that while Paul is capable of maintaining friendships and relationships and obviously cares deeply, and he's happy to enjoy your company and indeed wants some company about, he's not going to seek you out specifically. I think he's an intensely private person, and his requirement for close relationships is lower than that of some people. For example, once he's with Linda it's clear his need for anyone else goes way down. And he keeps her within arm's reach until her death.

Where this gets him--or others, really--"in trouble" is where his sociable and gregarious nature might be seen to imply a closeness that is not actually being offered. I think it's easy to fall under his spell and think, "oh I'm special to him" when really, he's just being charming. So he's not going to Mick Jagger's house because he doesn't particularly care about Mick or Marianne. He doesn't dislike them. But he can't be bothered to go out of his way, because it's not their company specifically he's seeking. And if company comes to him, it's just as well because it doesn't really matter as much who it is.

This is way too long, I'm sorry, but as usual I want to make sure I'm hitting enough points to make an argument. My point is, there's nothing inherently wrong with Paul being charming and sociable, but I think with most people it's impersonal, and if you're on the wrong side of that and think his friendliness is an invitation, it might be easy to get hurt. John is similarly known to move on from certain people, but I think it feels different because John is not invested in making it seem like he likes everyone.

Of course, I could be making some unwarranted leaps, so as always I invite you or anyone to weigh in!

#kris talks A LOT #thanks for the ask! #the ask box #anon asks #understanding paul #i hope it's clear i'm not trying to knock him at least not hard #but i do think this is a pattern with him

[incognitajones]

Fic author interview

Thanks to @sesamestreep and @glorious-spoon for tagging me in this one over the holidays! But between starting the new job and the holidays and the RCSS, it totally slipped my mind until now 😬

No-pressure tagging: @anghraine, @ladytharen, @luciechat, and anyone else who feels like it.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200 if I include both accounts.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Just under 650K words altogether.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Last Train 

I fought the war (but the war won) 

left-handed kisses 

Fixer Upper 

Chain Reaction 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I want to let commenters know they're appreciated, and I enjoy talking about little details or plot turns. Lately I haven't had the time or energy for much more than a quick thank you, but I'm still trying to respond.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At one point it would've been the bad ending of I fought the war, but now I think this Whumptober piece takes the crown.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Considering canon, most of them have an unrealistically happy ending! Especially inside the vastness of the galaxy, the "Naomi & Filip get a happy reunion" story.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No. I enjoy writing & reading some fusions (i.e. characters from one canon in the setting of another) but traditional crossovers in which characters from two different canons meet don't generally appeal to me.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on AO3, but I've been sent anon hate on Tumblr about my writing a couple of times (find a Reylo writer who hasn't challenge).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, a fair bit - in fact it's hard to remember sometimes that I never wrote anything explicit before 2016! It's all pretty vanilla, though, minus a few attempts at kinkier stuff which are deservedly anonymous.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Kind of; someone commented on one of my stories on AO3 to tell me that another story had copied significant parts of it. (They'd already commented on and reported the other fic, so I didn't take any additional action. The plagiarizing story was eventually deleted.)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Bless the fandom translators, for they are amazing.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing posted publically.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I couldn't possibly choose a single favourite! In terms of longevity, it's either Han/Leia or Eowyn/Faramir. And Star Wars ships in general seem to have a strong hold on me 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The OT3 whumpfic. It's nearly done, but it's far outside my usual wheelhouse so without a beta reader, I can't tell whether it's worth finishing or beyond help.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write decent dialogue, and I'm genuinely proud of the ideas behind I fought the war and pulse to pulse. I can also write a pretty good pastiche of 19C style, although you wouldn't know it from this account.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. Falling back on boring/clichéd beats to flesh out dialogue-heavy scenes.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A sentence or so? Sure. Can't think of a reason to do much more than that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It would be either Buffy or Lord of the Rings - I honestly don't remember - not counting the terrible Shannara-fic I wrote as a pre-teen.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Someday I'd really like to write a Children of Men story telling what happened to Kee and [spoiler] after the movie, plus fixing [spoiler].

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Subject to change by the moment, of course, but looking back at some older stories recently reminded me that I've always been pretty fond of don't go home without me.

#i did the thing #tag you're it #writing memes

[dalekofchaos]

I am sick of The Hardys, especially Jeff

I never thought I'd even have to make this post, but the recent comments Matt and Jeff made, I just can't anymore. I am done with them.

Jeff Hardy says he feels like a ghost in AEW

"When I first came back (to AEW), it was pretty exciting. I didn’t know what was going to be happening in the near future, but I think the last time I was in this extreme dimension of y’all’s podcast, I said that in WWE, I felt like I was a ghost, just walking around backstage. Honestly, man, I kind of still feel like that at AEW, just because of not being involved in something cool. I feel like there’s something so special that we (Jeff and Matt) have within us to really bring out."

I love Jeff Hardy, but I'm just tired of him at this point. I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. He fucked up time and time again and he wonders why he's lost in the shuffle in AEW.

Maybe you shouldn't have driven intoxicated again right after getting signed. Tony Khan was going to give you guys the Tag Titles, but no, in usual Jeff fucking Hardy fashion, you fucked up.

Jeff immediately showed that he can't be trusted beyond doing jobs in the lower-midcard. Jeff Hardy has no one to blame but himself.

Jeff Hardy was primed for a main event spot against Roman at the Royal Rumble and was promised a Hall Of Fame Induction, but then Jeff pulled that house show stunt and flushed a career down the toilet.

And before anyone comes at me with the "Jeff would've lost" he was booked strong and he fucked up anyway.

Then even after he fucked up, WWE offer him a hof spot, probably similar to Rey Mysterio role now and dude declined it. I never understood his “ghost” comment about the wwe because they clearly had huge plans for him either way.

I’ve got no sympathy left for Jeff at this point for multiple reasons, most of all for his continued determination to drive intoxicated and put him and others in danger. It's only a matter of time before Jeff becomes the next Tammy Sytch.

I just don’t know more what more Jeff could have wanted at this stage in his career. What is he expecting? He should feel extremely lucky to even be given chance after chance despite being a washed up criminal.

I know he likes to pride himself on being a creative guy. Well, work on your music and art to get your creative fix and just be glad you are still getting a paycheck

I'm just done with Jeff Hardy at this point. I can sympathize with someone suffering an addiction and I want that person to get the help they need, but Jeff has shown time and time again he doesn't want to get help and I am done feeling sorry for Jeff Hardy.

Jeff, I say this as a fan who grew up loving you. I say this as someone who broke down in tears of joy when you finally won the WWE Championship. I say this as someone who was willing to give you another chance after Victory Road. You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career or when you were a kid. It’s you. All right? It’s you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?

And let's go to Matt.

Matt Hardy talks about recent frustrations: I’ll say, just creatively like just the way we’ve been utilised, like the last four months, it’s been very frustrating. We’ve been very patient but there has been a lot of frustration with things we’ve done and kind of how we’ve been utilised in some ways.

Okay Matt. You can barely walk to the ring and your brother can't be trusted. You don't have any interesting character to make up for that fact. You might as well go Broken again. What do you want them to do with you.

Matt wants to put younger talent over and that’s both admirable and a good perspective on what his job should be if he wants to wrestle. But also he can barely walk and his brother can’t be trusted to be in any sort of long-term program due to his struggles with sobriety. I don’t know what you can reasonably do with the Hardy’s at this point, and that’s a bummer.

A Hardy compound crazy match every year as long as they can keep up with the cinematic stuff and I'm content. Hell a Hardys vs Copeland and Cage in a Hardy Compound match would be great, but that would never happen because Matt can barely walk and no one will ever trust Jeff Hardy with a prime spot again.

The Hardys were what got me emotionally invested in Tag Team wrestling, now they are broken shells of their former selves trying so hard to stay in the spotlight. Now I want nothing to do with them and I actually do not want to see them in AEW, I would rather see Private Party get an actual tag run.

Just a reminder that the Hardy’s were scheduled to WIN THE AEW TAG TITLES before Jeff Hardy got a DUI while wearing a Jacksonville Jaguars shirt on the police bodycam.

I'm sorry, but I need to be blunt. What does anyone even remember from Matt Hardy in his AEW run? All anyone will remember is Matt Hardy being dropped on his head, the idiots refusing to stop the match, ruining Private Party and all anyone will remember Jeff Hardy's run is fucking up what could've been The Hardys final chance at Tag Team gold. Matt will be remembered for being dropped on his head and having his Twitter account hacked. All Jeff will be remembered for is fucking up his and his brother's last chance at glory. And in the end Matt will be remembered for enabling his brother's worst devices instead of getting him the help he so desperately needs.

I will share what I said when Jeff returned. Wrestling is the last thing Jeff Hardy needs, but maybe wrestling is the last thing The Hardys needs and they should just retire. What else is there to say? I am just done with Matt and Jeff Hardy.

#WWE #AEW #Jeff Hardy #Matt Hardy #The Hardys #The Hardy Boys

[klkirbles]

9 ship songs

i got tagged by @omgkalyppso who shared a tav/origin (étoile/astarion) playlist they made. so i am doing the same lmao

i don't have anyone explicitly to tag so if anyone is interested, go ahead! you have my blessing!

the ship is my tav (i still need to fkin name him) and astarion. i've finished his personal quest and romance so it was fun to spend the day making this while i'm still fresh in my feelings.

'metaphor' by the crane wives ( stfy / yt ) astarion pov. the two meet for the first time. tav is more goody at this point, and so astarion acts very superficial towards him.

I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors I've gotten good at living on someone else's page I cut my teeth on second hand sentiments You can't trust a single thing I say I keep my closet free of skeletons 'Cause I'm much better at digging graves But I always dig up bones in your sympathy I can't trust a single thing you say Don't look too hard, 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me

2. 'something in the way you are' by kimbra ( stfy / yt ) tav pov. post-bite has tav very interested in the vampire. relevant to their first intimate encounter.

I'm wondering about your childhood Wonder if you were misunderstood I'm watching you inside your head I wonder if you know how long I can And I can feel it in my bones I love all of the sticks and stones And every little word you say You're breaking me in the best way

3. 'thunder lightning' by iamamiwhoami ( stfy / yt ) astarion pov. his behaviour doesn't seem to deter my tav. in fact, he seems to mostly go along with it.

Got to break the stillness for a while Need to see dеstruction to feel alive And when I say sorry I’m full of lies Got a violеnt streak I'm not ashamed Are you beat yet? Pressure keeps rising high Nothing thrills me like a savage game

4. 'snakeskin' by rina sawayama ( stfy / yt ) relates more to my oathbreaker tav and the influence astarion had in that outcome. he 'sheds' the oath like a snakeskin and follows a new path with his love

Looking for forgiveness I ran into your madness Shutting off my brain just to spite my heart You're slithering, slithering, slithering into my heart, yeah You're changing my, changing my, changing my, changing my mind, yeah I'm shedding, I'm shedding, I'm shedding, I'm shedding my snakeskin You're wearin' it, wearin' it, wearin' it every day, yeah

5. 'daffodil' by florence and the machine ( stfy / yt ) astarion pov. very much an 'oh no i didn't mean to fall in love' song.

I never thought it would get this far This somewhat drunken joke Sometimes, I see so much beauty I don't think that I can cope There is no bad, there is no good I drank every sky that I could Made myself mythical, tried to be real Saw the future in the face of a daffodil

6. 'fade' by lewis capaldi ( stfy / yt ) tav pov. oh look another 'i didn't mean to fall in love' song. this one is more my tav reacting to what happens in astarion's personal quest.

Wish somebody would've told me That I'd end up so caught up in need of your demons That I'd be lost without you leading me astray Guess I'm such a fucking fool for the way that you caught me You make my heart break more every day But don't fade away Well, I know that we've been hardly holding on To tell the truth, I can't believe we got this far

7. 'francesca' by hozier ( stfy / yt ) tav pov. post astarion personal quest. he was there for him since the beginning of their journey and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you think I'd give up That this might've shook the love from me Or that I was on the brink? How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily? Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm, since I was born How could I fear any hurricane?

8. 'superstar' by marina ( stfy / yt ) they have seen each other at their absolute lowest and overcome some incredible adversaries. they are ride or die.

We'll stick together Make it through the storm You and I Whoever said we couldn't have it all? I love the way we worked so hard Yeah, we've come so far Baby, look at me, you're my superstar When I'm afraid, when the world's gone dark Come and save my day, you're my superstar

9. 'finding you' by kesha ( stfy / yt ) endgame. a nice conclusion for my brain sickness that is this ship.

I know forever don't exist But after this life, I'll find you in the next So when I say "forever, " it's the goddamn truth I'll keep finding, finding you I'm gonna search for your love Right through Hell and Heaven Millions of years yet to come And in all dimensions I know that you'll always be My happy ending

#oc tag #my ocs #bg3 #tav #astarion #ship playlist #long post #haven't made character playlists since my 8tracks fanmix days #this was fun

[akab0mb]

I am not well. I haven't been for 2 years. But I am struggling significantly right now.

There was a person I was getting very close to. We had a lot in common. I love them very much. But at one point when I was having a bad depressive episode, they messaged me and told me they were closing their DMs to only very close friends and that the way I was deleting messages was triggering for them. They later also told me not to tag them on our shared discord spaces.

This hurt me so much. But I respected their boundaries. I still don't understand why they did such a 180 with me. And my BPD tells me that this is proof that I am a terrible person and shouldn't have friends. But I didn't message them, and I didn't tag them.

For months I have been holding onto hope that they might finally message me again and let me know I could talk to them (because their original message made it seem like they were just cutting me off temporarily). But seeing how they interact with everyone else in the discord spaces and have all these beautiful friendships that I'm not allowed to be a part of was deeply hurtful to me. So for months I have been deeply depressed about it. To an extreme. It has almost been too much to bear.

I have this mutual friend who I loved very much and who has been there for me all year. And she told me I could talk to her about anything. So I vented to her and expressed how hurt I was about this person cutting me off for seemingly no reason, and how hard it was to see them having these lovely friendships with everyone but me. But then she suddenly blocked me for half a day, and then unblocked me and told me I was engaging in a "smear campaign" and that I was being hateful. Even though I wasn't. How do you argue with someone who has decided you ARE a certain way when you're not? I have only love in me. Blocking and suddenly telling me I can't message someone is the worst thing for me - I'd rather be stabbed. I can't simply "move on" like other people because of my mental health disorders. It was truly traumatizing to wake up and see that this person who I trusted and who I thought would always be there for me had blocked me. I was in emotional shock for hours. And I had such a horrible anxiety attack that I almost had a pseudo-seizure (this has only happened once before). I will never forget how this made me feel. I don't think I will ever heal fully.

I spend every day alone. I am in so much pain. I have no friends. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of this pain of being mischaracterized and cut off. I'm tired of being made to feel like a bad person. I feel like everyone knows something I don't. I am so confused. I love so deeply. I love by default. How anyone could call me hateful is something I don't understand.

I don't think I am viable for human friendships. I was born to be alone. I get along with bugs and animals. I'm so lonely. But I cannot endure another loss. I've lost 4 people this year. Each one of them I loved so, so incredibly much. And each one left a gaping hole in me. I can't do it anymore.

I will likely delete this soon. I truly have nowhere else to post this. I have lost my community with the loss of this friendship. I don't have a secret place full of kind people to vent to. I have no one but random strangers on the internet to tell this to. And I just need to be seen and heard right now.

[romirola]

Fragment Friday

I thought I'd queue up a contribution to Fragment Friday since it's been a while since I've posted a W.I.P.. This bit is a flashback that explores an enemies-to-friends arc for David and Sweetheart. It'll be quite a while before the full fic will be finished and posted, but until then, I hope you enjoy this little teaser. (If you did, check out this link to another snippet from the W.I.P. I posted.)

As requested, I'm tagging @itsdaifuku in all material related to this story (Title TBA.) If you'd like a tag in any teasers and/or when I post the story to AO3, please feel free to let me know and I'll be happy to add you!

Tagging @ejunkiet, @teddybasmanov, @darlinsam, @dominimoonbeam, @gingerbreadmonsters, @starlitangels , @falkea, @gwenifred, and anyone else who'd like to share a fragment of whatever work you are creating!

As soon as he slid into the seat, he fumbled to find the adjustment to give himself more legroom, His large hand swiped along the side of the seat, only to find nothing. “How do you ch‒”

Sweetheart lazily pointed at David’s feet. “Handle’s on the bottom right corner.”

David quickly found the handle and yanked on it, ready to throw his weight against the seat so it would slide backwards. Instead, the back of the seat suddenly gave way and he couldn’t stop himself from tipping backwards against it. He quickly launched forward and pulled at the lever to bring the back of the seat upright again. 

Sweetheart didn’t laugh. They didn’t move a muscle. They didn’t comment on the little battle between wolf and car seat at all. But when David’s eyes met theirs, he knew. He knew they set him up for that on purpose. And he knew they enjoyed seeing him struggle and lauded even that little bit of power over him. 

He bet they fit right in at D.U.M.P.. 

“I meant the handle at the bottom left corner,” Sweetheart finally sighed, like now that David had figured out their game, they had grown bored of him. 

“Mhmm,” David grunted. He carefully pulled at the lever, half-expecting another immature prank to hit him. Could they rig a car seat to shoot water at the passenger or to release snakes? David was relieved to discover that this time, the stealth was telling the truth. He fixed the seat and hastily clicked his seatbelt. 

While he got settled, David took the opportunity to glare daggers at Sweetheart. His countenance darkened into a storm cloud of repugnance, but unfortunately for him, Sweetheart avoided his eyes, instead busying themselves with cleaning the lenses of their sunglasses with their shirt. He wasn’t sure how to interpret the stealth’s hesitancy to look at him, so instead, he took the opportunity to look at them. 

It was the first time David had seen Sweetheart out of their official uniform, though he noticed that they did have their badge attached to the belt loop of their jeans. Instead, they wore a V-neck T-Shirt that sported the Department’s insignia in the top corner. Their hair was less styled than usual. It was almost unnerving to see them look so casual. So accessible. So human. 

It was strange. 

After putting their sunglasses back on and checking themselves out in the mirror, Sweetheart turned the car back on and put on their blinker to pull back onto the road even though there was absolutely no one in sight. “All set?” 

David gave them one silent nod before turning back to face forward. 

“Then off we go,” Sweetheart narrated in a faux-chipper tone, pulling out onto the barren road.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fanfiction #redacted david #david shaw #redacted davey #redacted sweetheart

[xhanisai]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Cheers for the tag @mostmagical !!!

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

Forty-two

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

448,371

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Miraculous Ladybug at the moment. I do want to write some for Soul Eater and Gintama.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#LetMarinetteDrinkCoffee2K19 (9918 kudos)

Bite off more than you can chew and you'll choke (6355 kudos)

Speak now, regret later (3710 kudos)

Only idiots try to woo those who are already in love with them (2958 kudos)

Without you, what is the point? (1510 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do try my best to respond. They always make me happy and I love knowing my readers' reactions and thought processes regarding the stories I wrote. If I don't reply, it's mainly because I'm overwhelmed and tired hahah! But every comment always makes my day and I do reread them.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's probably got to be "Goodbye" is bitter. It's a SpyXFamily story and I killed off the entire Forger family. My readers' tears were a joy to drink in a mug.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot of my stories surprisingly have happy endings. I think the most tooth-rotting one would be Wo Ai Ni! which is an ML fic. It's literally fluff and fluff and so much fluff and if you love seeing Adrien being a madly in love silly goof with one Marinette Dupain-Cheng and being a hot mess about it, this is for you.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten any hate on my stories every since I started writing for ML. I did get death threats from this one buffoon over a pairing in my last fandom but I put that menace back in his place and since then he hasn't gone after anyone else in the fandom :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

My name is MissEcchi for a reason LMAO. There's so much smut I haven't even posted publically yet because they need polishing and editing and I'm a lazy bitch. Here's a few I've written for ML (and they're all and always will be lovesquare~)

Unmasked - Identity reveal, mutual pining and some comedy.

Red - Identity reveal, vampire Chat noir (after getting zapped by an akuma).

Paperthin - Identity reveal, mariblanc!!!!!, angst, happy ending.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have ideas for many! Just haven't written them out to fruition yet unfortunately. I do have an Ouran High school x Miraculous crossover story that has been chilling in my WIP docs for years lol...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Some dumbass kids thought they were slick when they re-uploaded my stories on wattpad. Got them taken down. I haven't checked around since then so I hope no one else has done that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Plenty! Here's a few I did with @seas-of-silver

Negative!!!

Murder On The Dancefloor

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

LOVESQUARE OF COURSE. Especially mariblanc!!!!!!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

In my last fandom, I had a multi-chaptered fic that I haven't updated since 2018 I believe? It was my most well written story in that fandom and I did enjoy writing what I did. I don't know if I'll ever finish it because I just no longer have the same love and passion I had for it. I'd rather it's left the way it is rather than trying to give it a half-assed ending.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm really good at writing emotions, especially with angst and comfort. I'm a huge slut in making my favourites go through the most horrendous, traumatising experiences ever and then have them look after each other. I also think I write battle scenes decently, especially when I'm in the mood. I like to enforce how powerful the heroes can be and make the akuma battles more brutal than as showcased in canon.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Currently, I think my weakness is that I write too much. I do waffle a lot in my stories because I'm very peculiar on my pacing and trying to time things. This also makes the writing progress more complicated than it should be and it is why most of the stuff I've written haven't been published yet because the editing takes too long.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy doing that a lot! But I do try my best to make sure to not do it too much because of language barriers. So the dialogue in the other language is either mundane or something simple. I've got the advantage of having learned a few languages since childhood at home and at school.

I have spotted that some people who like to add dialogue in a different language just used Google translate which is hilarious, especially when the translation is wrong or makes no sense.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic The Hedgehog...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It's got to be Connecting Everything (Connecting To Everywhere)! It is the story I've always wanted to write and I just love horror and supernatural. I've always wanted to read an ML horror fic where lovesquare are still miraculous weilders and everything is pretty much the same except they've gotta deal with ghosts and demons too hahaha. It is my least popular ML fic unfortunately and I do hope I can reel in more readers! It is still ongoing and ch2 is a work in progress.

Thanks again for the tag, Magical!

I tag @gale-gentlepenguin , @seas-of-silver , @lalunaoscura , @ladyofthenoodle , @theflashdriver and everyone else who wants to do it! No pressure!

#I don't know what to tag this as

[leatherbookmark]

The ask wasn't bait I promise. It's only that some truly weird people exist online and I couldn't really make discern from your tags whether or not you're on of them?

...this sounds almost charming so okay, i'll bite. if i get in trouble, my blocking finger is nimble and well-trained.

so anon is referring to my taggies on this post when they ask,

and the thing abt my tags is that they're a joke. i am sarcastically parroting the main argument some (many.) people have against "incest" and "incest supporters". namely: incest is gross.

you may notice the distinct lack of a specifying word. "irl incest" or "fictional incest"? to antis, there's no difference. same goes for rape, abuse, pedophilia, whatever else is there. if you read or, gasp!, write about them in any context other than "it's gross, horrible and the worst" -- or god forbid, in the context of "it's fascinating" or (!!!!) "it's hot" -- it's no different from you being okay with committing these acts in real life, or at least approving of people who commit them.

about the word "gross"... antis/fandom police/feelings yakuza have a disappointingly poor vocabulary when it comes to explaining why the things they're so vehemently opposed to are bad. i mean, if you ask them about siken's win/cests, first of all you'll get a lecture about how traumatic incestuous abuse is for its victims, and it definitely is, but it has nothing to do with two fictional brothers consensually and fictionally fucking. zero points, failing grade, come again in two weeks. second of all, they'll tell you it's gross. and disgusting. in case you didn't hear: GROSS. and DISGUSTING.

and it's not just incest. it's pedophilia, rape, abuse, harassment, racist, sexist or homophobic behaviours... even things that aren't wrong per se, but could be if only you looked at them through the lens of worst interpretation possible Also Are Gross. why would an adult want to be friends with a child? that's borderline pedophilia. gross.

they just don't have other arguments, "gross" is their first and strongest*. yuck factor, baby! if you told them they're 2mm to the left from conservatives who foam at the mouth at the mere thought of those disgusting gays and transes and their gross gender ideology that they use to groom children left and right, next thing they'll be marrying animals! teaching preschoolers about consent?! yeah, sure! they're teaching kids to masturbate! -- they'd be furious. it's not true! they're normal, not like those freaks! but it's the same mechanism. the exact fucking same mechanism, this thing is weird and unsettling and i don't understand it, gross, disgusting, wrong bad evil we must fight and eradicate it! or just tell people to kill themselves if we're terminally online twitter youth thinking that incest is commonly accepted as a kink (=already an oxymoron, as kink is not commonly accepted).

*maybe aside from "but if young and impressionable children see this, they'll think it's okay!" which. if the young and impressionable children have porny fanfiction as their one and only source of knowledge about the world... i'd say encountering said porn is the least of their problems.

and in case it wasn't clear -- fictional weird porn is not harming anyone. harassing people who ~get off~ to said weird porn and telling them to kill themselves is.

so am i one of those Truly Weird People Existing Online? idk, anon, that's for you to decide. as for me, it's almost 5am and i'm replying to this ask in good faith instead of writing my rps porn fanfic. might as well just stay up the night now. 😔

#answered asks #anonymous #making this one unrebloggable though obviously who wants to harass will harass. shrug emoji. 5am #anons asking you to explain yourself are always fascinating because like do we know each other #are you back-reading my blog. are you a follower who rarely uses tumblr. did you come for c/ql or the kp/op. why do you care whether #i'm a weird person or not. so many questions! #many of which would be easily answerable if only i put my ao3 handle in my bio and didn't private my fics. but ah well

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

Ask Game!

You know I'm back-back when I'm engaging in my second favorite kinda game😌

Thank you, @linnorabeifong for the tag!

Are you named after anyone? Umm, sort of? I don't think it is as intentional as people think it is. However, my dad first heard the name on the stylist who designed his wedding fit and quite liked it. Fast forward to my mom trying and testing names, he suggested this and they both loved it.

When was the last time you cried? Hahahaha this morning on the bus on my way to work. It was raining and smelled like home because of it. And I miss it. High time I go home now, don't you think?

Do you have kids? I have a cat? She is my child. I gave birth to her. You can't prove otherwise.

What sports do you play/have you played? I grew up playing a lot of badminton, basketball and soccer among others. I also danced/still dance- jazz.

Do you use sarcasm? Sarcasm uses me💅🏼

What is the first thing you notice about people? Their boobs. Jk, probably eyes. Someone once said "the eyes are the nipples of the face."

What's your eye color? Ha. It's like a hazel brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies with happy endings? Happy endings with scary post movie thoughts? I think happiness scares me so this question is pretty paradoxical for me I'm sorry.

Any talents? I really don't mean to toot my own horn but you guys don't know me. I have a photographic memory- to the point where I'd feel guilty in school during tests (especially when I didn't study/understand the material) and stuff cuz I was "copying" from my mind pictures? I cried to a teacher about this and she died laughing. I can sing and could hop around 3-4 octaves (I am severely out of practice). I also dance- I am a better dancer than I am singer. Also, I write! Bet you didn't know I write.

Where were you born? In a hospital lol. My mother was all about that epidural. Funny story about that: there was a celebrity who was pregnant getting a check up at the same hospital and all the nurses disappeared to go see her while my mother was screaming bloody murder in labor. When my dad received the call that my mother was going into labor, he left his office and somehow lost his phone before he got stuck in traffic in the rain. Soo there was no way to reach him until he finally showed up lol.

What are your hobbies? This is going to be a repetition but dancing, singing, reading, writing, working apparently? I love organizing and shopping and rewatching my comfort shows and they are hobbies I will not hear it.

Do you have any pets? My child doubles as a pet sometimes. She'll meow from time to time. Get zoomies. That kinda stuff. Most of you know her by now haha.

How tall are you? 5' 1" - taller than you.

Dream Job? I currently have my dream job and it ain't it. So I'm revaluating my dreams. Gimme like another 10 years🫠

Tagging: @ilovelin @orangepanic @superliz6 @risingsoleil @wishingforatypewriter @crookedmouth-mountainbones @badlucksav @kinzjoydragon @vr-tb @khrystyav and anyone else who wants to go!

#merkittty answers #ask games

[tyrannuspitch]

thor meta directory

hello and welcome, i'm lucian and i've been analysing mcu thor in excruciating detail since march 2022. this directory is intended to help me and anyone else interested to navigate my backlog of thor posts, which were all initially grouped under one umbrella tag.

a few notes:

my main focus is on the asgardian royal family, and my favourite portrayals of them come from 2011-2013. i have a bit of a loki-centric bias, but i do my best to be self-aware. i think all members of the family are terrible people and i love them for it <3

older posts should be taken with a pinch of salt. my opinions have developed a lot since i first started posting, but i've left pretty much everything up for archival purposes.

sometimes my opinions are strong, but they're never personal, even when i express them in hyperbolic ways. i promise i don't really hate you because of a marvel movie :3

to prevent clutter, source, character, relationship and theme tags are only applied to posts that also qualify for a meta or concrit tag.

some of the theme tags overlap a lot, but i'm doing my best.

most of the theme tags don't have an immediately obvious "thesis" post, but hopefully you'll get a sense of them by scrolling through. i'm also happy to answer any questions on this!

at the point when i organised this archive, it contained 1600 posts, so please excuse any tagging mistakes or typos, and let me know so i can fix them :D

finally: my inbox is open and i love talking about thor! comments, questions, suggestions, discussion, and lighthearted/friendly debate are all very welcome :D also, if you send me music associations or fanart, i'll love you forever - i probably haven't seen it, since i hardly follow anyone in this fandom. (just please no th-rki - i'm firmly in the familial relationship camp.)

okay that's all. have fun! 💚💙💜

main tag (completely unfiltered: 1600+ posts, including liveblogging, thinking aloud, silly jokes, complaints, and just about every other thought i've ever had)

by post type:

meta (600+ posts) - meta highlights (100+ posts) - concrit/negativity - text reblogs - fanart - gifs - stills - edits (mine)

by source:

thor 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - avengers 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - loki tv - other mcu - comics - thor: tales of asgard (cartoon) - other marvel - myth + history - fandom - other

by character:

thor - loki - odin - frigga - laufey - hela - malekith - thanos - the other - sif - warriors three - heimdall - valkyrie - jane - erik - sylvie - mobius - kang - avengers - fury

note: tumblr has a link limit! i've had to remove the links to supporting characters' tags to stay within it, but the format is: /tagged/ch:%20laufey, /tagged/ch:%20hela, etc.

by relationship:

thor: frigga - loki - odin - sif - w3 - jane - erik - avengers - fury

loki: frigga - odin - laufey - sif - w3 - thanos - the other - sylvie -mobius - kang - erik - jane - avengers

odin: frigga - laufey - hela - kang - fury - bor

house of odin (for when it's really the entire family at once - not an umbrella tag)

by theme/topic:

abuse + empire - fate + hierarchy - suicide + sacrifice - imprisonment + exile - devotion + treachery - honour + villainy - cycles + scapegoats - manipulation + mind control - order + chaos - war + apocalypse - undeath + afterlife - the threefold death - trickster loki - jester loki - servant prince

childhood + immortality - gender + sexuality - ergi - sorcery - prophecy - disability - ethnicity - godhood - monsterhood - playing the monster - mirrors + masks - eye motif

expressions of love - love as horror - neck/throat motif - grief - codependence - odinsons as twins - redemption - mjolnir - saint thor - thor's sinister side

worldbuilding - modern psychiatry - etymology - mimesis

and finally, my ao3 is here. i'm not as active as i'd like to be, but i'm working on it!

#space viking tag #this took one hundred thousand years