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kooktrash · 1 year

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DITTO ➢ jeon jungkook

summary: you’ve got everything you need right now, amazing boyfriend, amazing job, amazing friends, but when you receive life changing news you’re not sure how to bring it up to your boyfriend. your indecisiveness and failure to be open with him puts a huge toll on your relationship and he just wants to know that if he continues to love and walk the same path as you, you’ll do the same and ditto.

➢ established relationship [angst] boyf! jk x girlfriend!y/n [she/her. female anatomy]

➢ 12.9k words

warnings: teaser. soft boyfriend jk but relationship issues. smut. angst. fluff. separation anxiety. bath sèx. unprotected. oral (f and m). rough but sensual sèx. doggy. reverse côwgirl. y/n has trouble making decisions. heavy makeout. jk is literally perfect idk. not a break up story but they do take a break. dog parents. happy ending. [not a pregnancy fic] [haply ending]

song inspo: wasted affairs — minds eye , ditto — newjeans , still with you — jungkook , another (demo) one #2 — mac demarco

*interact to boost story if you like it!!! greatly appreciated <3*

It started on campus, exactly a year and ten months since the two of you started dating. You didn’t even talk that first day past a quick apology for bumping into each other before carrying on with your lives. A couple days later you found him on a dating app, he was attractive but that’s not why you swiped right on him. If anything you thought he was out of your league, the only reason you swiped right was to see if he had done the same. Imagine your surprise when you matched instantly and later on that night he sends you some cheesy joke that probably worked on all the girls he sent it to. You remember being thoroughly unimpressed and you told him so too.

He was just supposed to be one of those guys you talk to while you’re bored and then ghost when they try to meet up. It just didn’t go as planned when you saw him on campus a couple days later and he didn’t shy away from approaching you, practically following you to the bus stop and everything.

You don’t know how it happened but somewhere between going out for drinks on your first date to sharing the same laundry hamper, you realized you really love this kid. You were practically inseparable after that first date and although you haven’t been dating long, you hate being apart. It’s not even a crazy obsessive, ignore everyone else sort of way—it’s more that you just genuinely enjoy each other's company all the time. You don’t even have to talk or look at each other, just knowing you’re there is what makes a difference.

Now this doesn’t mean you haven’t gone without seeing others since you started dating. You did live separately at first and after graduating, Jungkook did a two month apprenticeship back in Busan so you couldn’t be together then either. Yes, he was coming down practically every weekend and calling or texting you throughout the day, even delivering food to your place from an entirely different city, but you had still been apart. It just feels better to be together entirely, y’know?

“What?” Jungkook asked with a little smile as he watched you squirm. You sat on the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereal that matched his. You were in a loose top and his boxers, your hair was pinned back but still messy. Your breath was still nasty from sleep and you had mismatched socks on, yet this is his favorite side to see of you. The chance to see each other in such a way felt oddly domestic. It didn’t feel like you were just his college sweetheart—it felt like you were his lifelong partner. Now you’re looking at him with this smile on your face as he stuffs his face with Lucky Charms and he just has to know what’s up.

“Nothing,” you said as you dug around in your bowl, “I was just wondering what we’re doing today.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook said as he placed his bowl in the sink waiting to see if you were done too and when you passed him your bowl he began washing them, “But we agreed to go to Joon’s place later for grilling.”

“Let’s do something you want to do till then, last weekend was my turn,” you told them as you hopped off the counter. You could see the corners of his lips turn upward in a side smirk making your eyes narrow. He looked over at you.

“I mean… if you really want to do what I want, I don’t think we’ll be leaving home at all,” he said with a wink that made you roll your eyes.

“Last night wasn’t enough? I’m sore,” you said as you picked up the mail from the tray and began to sort it, looking for coupons or something. He watched you separate it into a pile for him and then a pile for you.

“Never enough, I’ve got the stamina of a rabbit,” Jungkook said, lifting an arm to flex his bicep. You laughed lightly, “How manly.”

“Okay, okay, we need to get groceries today, I’m out of my protein,” Jungkook said more seriously, “We could probably get lunch, take Bam on a walk, it’s super nice out today.”

“Then Joon’s tonight?” You asked for confirmation and he nodded. When he finished washing he came over to where you were. His hands found your waist and immediately pulled you into his front. You whine when you hit his hard chest but your arms make their way around his neck anyway. He smiled down at you, “I love you.”

“Ditto,” You smiled leaning forward to kiss him but he tilted his head back, “Come on baby, I wanna hear you say it. I know you love me too.”

“Jungkook…” you said, still smiling. You felt this gross kind of love for the guy. You know the kind where you’re looking at them doing the most basic thing ever yet in your mind it’s like, ‘damn, I really love them’, then you cringe because why would you be so vulnerable to even think that? Yeah, that kind of love, it’s still hard to say it sometimes.

“I love you too,” you told him almost shyly and then he began to squeeze you in his embrace. You groaned at the tightness until his lips were on yours. It was short and sweet, just a quick moment of affection before you were pulling back. He released a light chuckle, “Your breath stinks.”

You scoffed, “You think yours smells any better?”

“I do actually,” he smirked as he let you pull away from his hold, “It smells like your pus—“

“Go shower!” You said making him laugh as he went to do that and left you alone in the kitchen. Normally you would join him but you had other things to worry about at the moment and you didn’t need Jungkook around for it.

You went into the living room, opened your laptop and checked your emails. You went to school for journalism and you’ve spent over a year interning at a well known editorial company. They specialized in digital news but they had a few actual magazines out, it was a global company and Jungkook had been so excited when you got the internship. He went as far as throwing a little party for you with all your friends.

Today is the day you’ll get an email telling you if you landed one of the open positions in the company, there were too many interns and too few openings so you’ve been stressing about it lately. You’ve yet to tell Jungkook but only because you’ll feel like you’re letting him down if you don’t get it. Your heart was beating out of your chest when you clicked on the right email thread and read it to yourself.

Jungkook was very confused in the beginning. One would say he was a player all throughout high school and the start of college. His longest relationship before you was a mere six months and he wasn’t mature during it. When you came along he thought that maybe it would just be a little fling before the two of you moved on, but the more he talked to you the more he realized neither one of you was going anywhere. Now, he understands that you haven’t even been together for two years but he can easily say that you’re the one, you just get him.

Sure, you argue here and there but you don’t hurt each other. Your communication is amazing, like that of a married couple that has been together for over a decade, and there’s just no stress with you. He knows what to do when you’re upset or how to make your eggs in the morning. You know when he’s running low on multivitamins and you make the calls for Bam’s vet appointments. Sometimes Jungkook even thinks Bam likes his mom, aka you, more than his dad. That’s that Jungkook has had him longer than he’s been dating you. Overall, you just fit into his life like the missing puzzle piece that completed him.

“Come on Bam, we gotta go inside,” you said later on in the day. You and Jungkook just came back from taking him on a walk at Han River and he was way too energized. You were already running a little late and you still had to feed him. Jungkook brought him over easily and the three of you went up like the little family you are. Jungkook watched you lovingly as you filled Bam’s dog bowl and got him water before washing your hands.

“Ready?” Jungkook asked you as he stood at the door with the keys. You nodded, looking around to double check everything was right before the two of you left for the evening.

Everyone was at Namjoon’s place before you two and his backyard smelt like grilled meat and a bonfire. Lawn chairs were spread throughout and there were two coolers of beer. You grabbed one for you and Jungkook and he pulled you onto his lap in one of the chairs.

“No, listen, I’m right,” Taehyung said as he talked with his hands. You looked over at the girl to your right, “What’s he going on about?”

“Oh you missed it, him and Hobi have spent about ten minutes arguing over which soda is better,” Yuna said with a little laugh looking just as amused as you, “So far Hoseok’s winning with a fair argument for Sprite.”

“Mountain Dew is better,” Jungkook cut in with a mischievous grin as the other two turned to glare at him and point their anger in his direction. You tried to smile as you leaned back into his chest. His hands were around your waist resting on your thighs, pressing his chin against your shoulder.

Yuna was Hoseok’s girlfriend and the closest friend you had out of everyone. You met her after she started dating him but you quickly befriended each other through mutual interests. Aside from Jungkook, she probably knew you better than any of the others—even your own personal friends. You’re not sure if you were being obvious about it or if Yuna had been wondering this all along but she knew some sort of news came.

“Come with me to the kitchen,” Yuna said as she stood up, “I brought dessert but I need help carrying it out.”

Without question you nodded and Jungkook released you from his hold so he could have a better debate over fizzy drinks with the others. The two of you headed inside Namjoon’s house and once you were alone in the kitchen, the questions began.

“So?”

“So?” You asked as you looked around for this dessert. Yuna crossed her arms over her chest, “Have you heard from the job?”

“Oh um,” you cleared your throat feeling a lump form as you looked back to see if Jungkook was still where you left him. He was sitting in the chair with a huge smile on his face as he tipped back his beer for another drink. “I got the job.”

Yuna gasped loudly as she grinned, excited now, “That’s great! Oh my god I’m so happy for you, what did Jungkook say? Are you guys doing anything to celebrate?” Her smile dropped, “Why don’t you look happy about it?”

You didn’t say anything, feeling your eyes begin to water and you had to step further into the kitchen so the others wouldn’t see you. Yuna followed you watching as you nearly broke down crying. She panicked, letting go of her drink to get close to you, “What’s wrong? You got the job… that’s great. It’s what you’ve wanted for a long time now an—“

“It’s abroad,” you finally said, “Like thousands of miles away and it’s not short term, it’s forever. The pay is great and I would get a high position but… but…”

“Have you told Jungkook? I’m sure you’ll work it out, I swear the guy would follow you to the end of the world if you asked him to,” Yuna tried lightening the mood, “Didn’t he write that cheesy song about walking the same path as you? He’ll be happy to go with you.”

“I can’t ask him to,” you admitted as you tried wiping away the tears, “He’s already put the down payment for the studio, all his clientele is here. His friends are here, his family is here. I can’t ask him to pack it all up and go with me. We’re not married, we’ve only been together for a little over a year. It would be selfish of me.”

Yuna looked at you with sincere sympathy, “So what are you going to do? Are you taking the job? It’s what you’ve wanted…”

“I know,” you sniffled as tears kept falling, “But I don’t know.”

“Aish! I heard you! Paper plates and napkins, I’m going!”

Jungkook’s voice was heard clear as day and just so happy as he closed the sliding glass door behind him. He was tasked with the job of bringing out silverware since you were inside and he was asking for you. They all told him to come in and find you, and bring back plates for them while he was at it. That’s why he came in with a huge smile on his face, “Babe?”

Yuna’s bewildered eyes matched yours and you turned to face the sink acting like you were busy as you forced yourself to stop being so emotional. Jungkook’s feet dragged on the floor as he came over spotting Yuna first. When his eyes landed on you he felt his heart leap, “There you are—“

He stopped himself when you refused to look back at him. It’s like he could sense that something wasn’t right. He shifted his gaze to Yuna, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh um,” Yuna looked at you and you couldn’t let her say anything, so you turned around facing him with your reddened eyes and puffy nose. Instantly Jungkook came to you, cupping your face softly, “Hey, hey, what happened?”

You tried to smile, “Nothin—“ “Don’t tell me it’s nothing, what’s wrong?” His voice was a soft whisper, immediately going into protective boyfriend mode, “Do you want to go home because we can leave right now.”

“I’m fine, I swear, I’m just… stressed,” you told him and it was obvious he didn’t fully believe it but he didn’t want to push it either.

“Jungkook! The plates!”

“Get your own damn plates! I’m busy!” He shouted back almost aggressively and Yuna took that as her cue to leave you two alone—even though you wished she didn’t.

“I’ll take them the plates,” Yuna said, using it as an excuse to leave and Jungkook didn’t even look in her direction as she left. His focus was solely on his girlfriend and why you looked so sad right now.

“Baby, talk to me,” he had a sad pout on his face, “Please? You were fine in the morning and I don’t know, yeah a little quiet around lunch but then we took Bam out and you were happy, so what happened?

“Did Yuna tell you something?” His jaw was clenched. He knew Yuna would never say anything to upset you but his protective side was coming out and all he knows is that you’re crying and Yuna was the only one with you. You shook your head, “No, no, I’m just stressed you know, um, about work.”

His brows furrowed like he didn’t fully believe you before trying to relax his expression, “Work? Is it because of the opening? I know you’ll get it, there’s nothing to worry about. You work your ass off and they’d be stupid not to give it to you, so please don’t cry—you’ll make me cry. You wanna see me cry?”

You laughed with a small sniffle, “It’s okay, I was just worked up but I’m fine now, let’s go back out.”

“You sure?” He asked wiping away the last year from your eye with the pad of his thumb, “We could go home, watch a movie. Oh, we can try on those new face masks, Bam loves them too—wanna know why? Because his mommy makes sure it’s on right and he gets his nails painted in the process. You’ve made him high maintenance, y’know?”

He’s trying to brighten your mood and it was working because you were laughing.

♱

It was a quiet night yet he couldn’t fall asleep. The room was dark and the air was on, his girlfriend slept peacefully next to him and yet he couldn’t go back to sleep. He slept for about two hours before he woke up. He’s just had a lot on his mind these last couple of days and he just can’t seem to figure out what is happening. He stared up in thought feeling his arm grow numb from having it under you.

Unable to clear his head, he made the decision to move his arm out from under you so he could stand up. As quiet as he could, he left the bedroom and went straight to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water.

You seemed different these last couple days. From the moment he picks you up from work to the moment the two of you go to bed. It's not that you seemed ill or anything but you did seem stressed about something and no matter what he does to make you feel better it’s not working. He knows it’s probably about work but he had absolutely no doubt that you’ll get the job so he doesn’t want you stressing over it.

He wishes you would just talk to him. He doesn't need you to rely on him because he knows you wouldn't, but he'd like for you to realize he's here for you. If it was about work he hopes it all gets settled soon. If it was about him he's not sure what he'd do.

In reality, there's absolutely no reason for you to be upset with him. The two of you have a healthy relationship and it's no question that you deeply care for each other. He loved you so much, and you love him just as much so why can't you just confide in him?

"Jungkook?"

Oh. He was still in the dark kitchen grasping his half empty glass. He looked to the bedroom where you must've noticed he was missing. Shaking his previous thoughts away he finished up his water letting his glass sit on the counter. With a stretch of his arms toward the ceiling and a small yawn he was walking back to the room. He could barely make out your figure but he could see the way you were turned to face the door.

He quietly climbed back into bed feeling you shift a little as you mumbled, "Where'd you go?"

"To get water, come here, let's go back to sleep," he whispered back to you as he tucked himself in next to you. He went to pull you into his arms but you turned the other way instead. He could practically feel the distance you were putting in the middle and just like that all the thoughts were racing back to him. So were you stressed because of him?

"You can't sleep?" You asked drowsily, he nodded knowing you couldn't see him before rasping out an answer, "No."

It went quiet between you two as he continued to stare at the ceiling unable to get tired. You were already half asleep but you could tell he was struggling tonight. Without much debate you turned on your other side to face him and moved closer. His eyes shifted down as you began to snuggle into him and he was quick to turn on his side too. The two of you met halfway and your limbs locked with his while he hugged you to sleep.

He looked at your closed eyes, feeling the way your breathing evened out in relaxation while in his arms. It was so late and you probably had to work early and yet here he was troubling you by being awake.

"Jungkook," you whispered, your voice a little raspy too. He looked down at you, "Hm?"

"Go to sleep," you muttered under your breath. He sighed, "I'll just go to the living room and watch some tv until I can sleep. I know you've got work early."

He didn't give you much time to process what he was saying before he was getting up and leaving. You laid in bed, eyes opening a little watching him leave. You were left alone in your shared bedroom and the guilt was just eating at you. You knew you were being distant but you just have no idea how to even bring up the news about work. You don’t know how he’ll take it, but you do know you don’t want to leave him and make him think he’s the one doing something wrong.

You were sitting up now, yanking the covers off as you padded across the hardwood floor out the door. Jungkook was laying down on the L shaped couch watching a movie on a low volume. His phone lay on his chest, an arm tucked behind his chest and the other on the remote.

He looked over to the bedroom door when he heard it open. His eyes were big and rounded, innocent looking as you shuffled over to where he was. He didn't question it when you were sitting on the edge of the couch moving to lay over him. He welcomed you with an arm around your waist as you snuggled into his chest. He reached out for the remote, lowering the volume all the way as you let your eyes shut. A small smile appeared on his face as he made himself comfortable on the couch to fall asleep.

"Y/n's just, I don't know, distant?" Jungkook huffed, he raised the dumbbell with the help of Hoseok spotting him. "I feel like something's wrong. I can't tell if it's something I did or what and it's driving me crazy."

Since this morning he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about this. What if he was the problem? Why else would you be acting like this?

He finished a set with a puff of his chest trying to catch his breath as he was standing up. Hoseok took his spot, "Did you forget a birthday? Dinner? Anniversary?"

Jungkook shook his head no as Hoseok began his set, "Are you crazy? I would never forget any of that stuff, if I did Y/n would kill me.”

"Maybe she's not even upset, maybe Y/n's just stressed or tired," Hoseok huffed, "Try and give her time to talk, you know she doesn’t keep secrets from you. Maybe she’s just trying to figure out how to bring it up so just give her space.”

"I can't," Jungkook shook his head, "If I do she’ll never open up to me, trust me. Y/n’s not the vulnerable type.”

It's true. Jungkook knew you all too well. Since the beginning he had to be the one initiating any contact. He never understood why you doubted yourself but you never made the first move, not even when Jungkook had very specifically informed you he liked you. You're always worried you'll come off too clingy and you just don't get that it's what Jungkook wants. He’s way more affectionate than you and it does not mean you’re not like that with him but he’s way more open about his feelings than you—always has been.

"Then I don’t know what to say man, Yuna is an open book, she’ll tell me anything," Hoseok stood now next to Jungkook as they both took a small break. They were practically done for the day anyway so they left to the men's locker room. Jungkook bit his lip nervously, "Has she told you anything about Y/n? They were together at Joon’s when Y/n was crying. You think you can see if she knows anything?”

“I’ll try,” Hoseok said as he reached into his locker for his gym bag, “How’s the studio looking?”

Jungkook appreciated the attempt to change the subject and went on to talk about it, “Great. All the new equipment came in and I’ve already got some clients registered for CrossFit training. Thankfully since it was an old gym I didn’t have to make much changes on it.”

“That’s great man,” Hoseok said with a warm smile, “See if Y/n can do an article about it in the magazine.”

"Nah, she’s stressed, I don’t want to give her more work especially if she had to run it by her bosses first," Jungkook tells him as he takes his helmet and tucks in his underarm. It was a nice enough day for him to ride his motorcycle today and since he isn’t picking you up from work he can ride around a bit and try to clear his mind.

"True," Hoseok told him as they exited the large gym. Jungkook walked over to his motorcycle, a slick black with polished silver detail. Harley Davidson plastered on the side. His helmet was black too, it matched the silver with a chrome reflection and it fit him perfectly. You got it for him over Christmas.

"So you’ll ask Yuna then?" Jungkook asked honestly.

"I’ll see what she knows," Hoseok told him as he walked to his car, “Get Y/n flowers, that might cheer her up.”

Jungkook sat comfortably on his ride as he put his helmet on. He nodded, waving the man away as he turned the key for the ignition. Without wasting another minute he was walking his bike back before taking off out of the parking garage.

Once he was at his apartment he jumped in the shower, music blaring as he tried getting ready to work. It’s his last week of teaching classes at his local gym before he can put all his focus on his own business. He’s had a lot on his plate too.

Hoseok got to his place a while later, his girlfriend was already home watching tv in their living room when he came in, “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said tilting her chin up as he planted a kiss on her cheek in greeting. Her nose scrunched, “Go shower.”

“I will in a sec,” Hoseok said, checking his phone to see if Jungkook has texted him yet.

“How was the gym?” Yuna asked him, making him release a sigh.

“It was good, Jungkook was just… I don’t know, he’s worried,” Hoseok said looking over at her, “About Y/n.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, choosing instead to stare blankly ahead at the screen. He cleared his throat, already able to tell something was going on, “You know anything? Why Y/n’s been acting differently? He said you were with her when he found her crying.”

“Babe, it’s not my place—“ “Come on, I’m not going to tell him if it’s bad, I just… is Y/n breaking up with him?” Hoseok asked, “I just want to know. You know Jungkook and Y/n are inseparable and if she dumps him I genuinely don’t know how he’ll take it.”

Yuna bit her lip nervously, “She’s not dumping him… but, um,” she knew she should tell him but he’s her boyfriend. He knows she knows what’s going on and if she doesn’t say something she’ll risk having an argument over secrets.

“You know how Y/n’s been working hard to get a permanent position in the magazine?” Yuna went on to say. Hoseok nodded as he tried to smile but he couldn’t, “She didn’t get it? I mean, it’s okay, I know it’s probably hard but it’s not something she should keep fro—“

“Y/n got the job,” Yuna said seriously watching Hobi’s face brighten before she could go on, “Just not here.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a permanent relocation with a high salary,” Yuna told him, “It’s not here and she’s got about two months to accept or reject the offer.”

“Oh,” Hoseok said. He didn’t know how to feel at the moment. Y/n was a good friend of his because of Jungkook. He was there to celebrate your internship and they all had been anticipating you getting this position. It was all the two ever talked about. On one hand he’s happy, you’ve worked hard for your job and this is something you went to school for. You deserve it.

On the other hand, he’s thinking about Jungkook. The kid has been one of his closest friends for years now. He’s seen him change through time and it was for the better when you came along. Everyone knows the relationship hasn’t been too long but, the way Hoseok sees it… Y/n is just right for him. They ground each other, they’re stable and they hold a lot of love for one and other. Jungkook quit getting wasted every night, passed out at some party never remembering where he was. He cleaned up his act when you came along and graduated with a Business degree and now he’s on his way to become an owner of his own training gym. Everyone knows you’re the one who was supporting him along the way and in Hoseok’s eyes it doesn’t matter how long two people have been together to know if they’re the one for each other.

That’s why he’s at a loss for words right now. Jungkook has asked him to see if Yuna knows what was going on and now that he knows he’s not sure what to tell his friend. It’s not like he could just say, ‘Oh yeah, the thing is, Y/n did get the job but she’ll have to relocate permanently if she accepts it but you just got your studio so that’s probably why she hasn’t said anything to you—and really no one knows what this means for you two and your relationship.’

“What do I tell him when he asks me about what you know?” Hoseok asked his girlfriend who only shrugged.

“I don’t know, just… don’t bring up Y/n’s job,” Yuna told him, “It’s better if nobody does.”

♱

That’s how the game began. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a fun game, it was more so a ‘How to keep Jungkook from knowing what was wrong until Y/n can tell him on her own?’

Hoseok had to let the others know. It wasn’t his intention to spread it around like gossip but after hearing Taehyung ask Jungkook if Y/n was still waiting to hear back about the position and making him go on a rant about how his girlfriend is too stressed to even speak to him, Hoseok had to say something to them.

Of course it made Yuna feel guilty because you trusted her to keep it between you two and she couldn’t—but you didn’t know any of this.

“Babe?” You called out to him as you got home late one evening. You looked around an empty house wondering if he was even home but his keys and shoes were at the entrance so he had to be.

“In the bathroom!” He shouted back and you left in the direction of your bedroom immediately. The door to the master was open and you went in to watch him begin to run a bath. He looked over at you, “Just got off?”

“Yeah,” you said with a small sigh as you leaned against the sink counter, “Mind if I join you?”

He smiled as he came over to where you were and placed his hands on your waist, fingers already gripping at the hem of your shirt, “Wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Should we call Bam and make it a spa day?” Jungkook asked as he let you undress and went into the warm bubble bath. You shook your head, “He’ll make a mess.”

Jungkook didn’t argue with that as you came in after him and he immediately pulled you into his chest so your back was against him. His fingers tickled at your sides making you turn to mush in his arms till you relaxed against him. You rolled your eyes at his attack on you but you were smiling. Jungkook was happy to just get that from you. You let him pour water along your back and front before dropping some in your hair. You turned just enough to do the same to him and he let you run water through his hair. He’s not sure if you’re feeling better or not but he always enjoys time he gets to spend with you.

“So I need your help this weekend, I thought about it and I think I’m actually gonna paint the walls at the studio,” Jungkook began a casual conversation with you as you began to wash his hair with shampoo as he lathered your body in body wash. You nodded, “Okay, what color?”

“I want to do them white but with a black accent wall, probably chalk paint or something? I don’t know, then you can help me with calligraphy and it could be like my schedule wall, just an idea though,” Jungkook said, “I think I’m just getting excited.”

Your heart stopped for a short moment. You were hoping tonight would be the night you finally talk to him about work. You want to take the position but at the same time you want to turn it down. It’s such a good opportunity for you in the long run but right now you’re dating Jungkook. You don’t know how long your relationship will last since you’re still in your twenties and haven’t dated long, but he makes you want to stay. You just feel conflicted.

You tried to smile, “I like it, it’s going to look so good.”

Jungkook let the subject go as he washed your back, “I love you.”

“Ditto,” you laughed when he planted a kiss to your shoulder blade.

“I love you,” he placed a kiss on your neck, hands caressing your soapy arms.

You smiled, “I love you.” His hand traveled from your arm to your shoulder before making it to your chin and turning your head to face him. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his and he released a low hum.

The kiss deepened further as did your back against his chest. The hand Jungkook used to turn your face toward him was traveling down your neck making you wiggle a little between his legs. With that small action and the fact that the kiss turned more hungry, he was releasing a quiet growl that rumbled through his chest. Your mouths parted at the same time but neither one of you moved back before going back in for a needy tongue kiss.

Jungkook didn’t need much convincing to let his hands roam your body, first cupping your breasts. A hand of yours had made it to the back of his neck clinging to him as he kissed down your neck, sucking harshly and licking away the pain.

“Baby,” you whined softly into his ear as his middle fingers and thumbs pinched the buds of your nipples so that he could run his index finger over them. You couldn’t stay still and by the hardening length along your back you knew your movements were affecting your boyfriend. He massaged your tits in his hands, squeezing them together and pulling them apart doing it over and over again as you fell full lax against his shoulder.

“You think I can still feel your dripping pussy in the water, baby?” Jungkook asked, tracing the finger that left your nipple numb with arousal down your navel and closer to your pelvis. You nodded against him and with a knowing smirk, he let his hand feel the water further as he slipped the hand between your legs and right over your cunt.

Jungkook groaned into your mouth as he swallowed your moans in a kiss. Of course everything felt different underwater but there was no denying the sticky slick pooling between your folds. He dipped his long middle finger between the wetness, immediately eliciting a quiet whine from your pretty lips. You tightened your hold on the back of his head, fingers sinking into his hair pulling him down deeper for the kiss.

He knew everything about your body and just how to make it react, like when he let the palm of his hand roll into your clit when his finger came out before plunging it back into your entrance and releasing pressure from his palm. The only sounds that filled the room were of the splashing water and your moans while Jungkook fingered you. Your other hand clung to his forearm, thighs threatening to shut at the immense pleasure he was giving you.

“Nuh uh,” he tsked in your ear as he sped up his finger, teasing the folds with his ring finger before making room inside your cunt for two fingers that hooked forward and back, “Don’t you dare close your legs.”

“Jungkook, please,” your legs were shaking as you bucked up into his hands and pressed into his hard cock forcing moan after moan from him as well. You could feel the rumble in his chest against your back and you just wanted to melt into him.

You and Jungkook had a very active sex life and it’s clear that these last couple of weeks you’ve both grown distant through time but it feels so good right now.

He traced his finger tips down your sides trying to turn to face him better. You moved onto your knees letting Jungkook help you hook them over his lap so you could be pressed against him better. Your hand was on his firm and wet chest as you traced it toward his neck before bringing him in for a kiss. His fingers were soft down your back until need became of him. They tightened in the locks of your hair using his hand to feel along your front.

“Is this why you wanted to bathe together tonight?” He asked as he continued to press against that soft spot inside your wet cunt that made your legs shake. It wasn’t exactly what you had in mind but you couldn’t even remember what you actually wanted to say now that he was bringing you to release with only two fingers.

“Fuck,” you moaned out letting your hips rut against his cock, “Me, oh god I need to feel you baby.”

Jungkook used his free hand to grope at your breasts but it quickly slid down to your navel pushing you back and forth grinding against his hard length. He was releasing short grunts into your ear, “Up.”

Your feet pressed flatly against the floor as he slipped his fingers out of your wet pussy to guide your hips up for you. You held onto the edge of the tub to hold yourself up as Jungkook moved a hand down to his dick giving it a couple strokes as he pointed it up. He slid down just a little more for better room and just like that you were sinking down onto his hard length raw.

“Oh,” Jungkook released a low groan, “Baby.”

He licked his dry lips watching the way you took him inside. The water was still filled with water and bubbles but he was able to see enough of your cute butt. Jungkook’s abs tensed so much that it was visible and flexed which made him look even hotter than usual. He begins to raise your hips feeling the warmth your pussy brought to his stiff cock.

Jungkook began to meet your thrusts with a buck of his hips and just like that did he begin to fuck you.

He leaned forward to leave wet and sloppy kisses along the back of your shoulder blade down to the way it flared along your back, moving his hands to grip your waist harshly. Jungkook's nail dug into your soft flesh as he lifted your hips up and down on his cock, “Take me so well, baby.”

He bit into his lip, watching in awe at the way your hips gained more determined rhythm to get him off, he could see glimpses of your spine following your movements. Your hands nearly slipped off of the edge of the bed coming very close to falling face first into the water but it didn’t stop you from saying, "I'm gonna cum."

He released a short grunt as he pushed himself up so that he could stand on a leg and knee, "Grab the edge." You did as told, reaching for one side and holding onto it pressing your chest into the side of the tub and Jungkook placed a flat palm against your lower back. You’ll both be sore from being crammed in the tub but it’s not like this is the first time. He bit into his bottom lip to suppress a loud moan from slipping out as felt your familiar ring of nerves clenching around his member as it sucked him into your folds. He wasn't going to last much longer either so he’s gotten rougher.

He was pounding into you from behind so good that he needed to drop his weight on your. His wet body pressed against you, cold water droplets falling onto your back making you twitch in surprise.

His hand snuck under your stomach to hold you close as you felt his face press into your back as he moaned, “Fuck, baby, so fucking good.

“You make me feel so good,” he repeated, “Cum, fuck, please cum baby, I—I—ngh.”

He made his body flex from how hard he was tensing up to keep himself from spilling inside of you as you came around his cock.

“Jungkook, baby,” you whined, body trembling as Jungkook kept you pressed against him as you rode your high.

When you came down you began to shiver. The water was cold and so were you, plus you were ultra sensitive so it was unbearable. Jungkook could feel the way you trembled and he was trying to keep himself warm, at least his cock warm, but he began to pull out. He rather get you two dressed and not freezing before he finishes himself off.

He could ignore his hard on even as it twitched against his navel as he stood making sure to pull him with you. You slipped on your thin bathrobe letting him do the same and with a chaste kiss on the lips he walked with you out to your bedroom.

“Jungkook,” you called out to him just as he tried leaving to his closet. He turned to you waiting patiently for you to say something but you just walked toward him in your little robe that hid absolutely nothing from his lustful gaze.

You stood so close to him now and before he could what was up your hand was pulling at the tie around his waist. He let you open his robe exposing the hard cock that had just fucked you to orgasm. He didn’t even bother looking down at it, keeping his eyes on you as you have him a couple experimental strokes, his mouth drawn open in a silent, desperate moan that had him panting.

“Don’t you want me to make you cum?" You asked as you kissed down his chest toward his dick. Jungkook looked blissed out with his eyes rolled up, lips parted and his entire face just looking relaxed, “Fuck, yes baby, make me cum, fuck, I need it.”

You bring your face closer to his tip, licking it teasingly, tasting the bead of precum on your tongue. In one swift movement, you flatten your tongue on the underside of his cock, a teasing longs swipe from his balls to his tip. You stopped at the head letting spit pool in your mouth and onto his cock keeping your eyes on his as he watched you swallow more of his length into your mouth.

Jungkook gripped the corner of your vanity table for support as you sucked his stiff cock to your heart’s content. You held the base of his cock with one hand, bobbing your head in a quick pace since he was already so close from fucking you just moments ago. Jungkook watches the way his cock disappears into your mouth, the feeling of your mouth, your hands working other areas. He could feel the way you tried to breathe through your nose and relax your throat, slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth. You took steady breaths through your nose doing your best to relax your throat and flatten your tongue. Jungkook panted lightly, feeling the throb of his cock as his tip hit the back of your throat.

You roughly swallow around him, suppressing a gag as you resume to deep throat him.

"That’s it baby," he groaned, tossing his head back in bliss. Moans were pouring out of his mouth, his groan is muffled into his hand, "Just like that."

Just like that, he released a low growl as your mouth flooded with his thick release. His mouth hung open, hips almost locking from how hard his muscles flexed. Your kisses became tender as you jerked off his wet cock, making sure he got it all out after a week or two of no sex. You placed a sweet kiss on his hip bone as it protruded before you, making him release a breath laugh at your form of comforting him.

He let his hand fall into your hair softly cupping your chin to help you up as he stared at you with loving eyes, “You’re so good to me.”

You didn’t say anything as you pressed your face into his chest for a hug so he wouldn’t see the hurt in your eyes.

If you could just get the courage to tell him.

♱

Jungkook was happy, he really was. Life was just good at the moment. His business is really starting to come together, his girlfriend is supportive, his friends are wonderful. He’s just a happy guy.

“The Prince has arrived!” Jimin shouted in his usual eccentric manner as he stormed into Taehyung’s place with a huge grin on his face. Jungkook was caught stuffing his face with ramen as the guy walked in greeting everyone.

“How was the flight?” Jungkook asked as he finished chewing and swallowed. Jimin had been gone for a couple weeks on some dance tour but he just got back yesterday. Everyone met up together today to see him. Jimin came by and did the usual male handshake, “Long, I slept like fourteen hours when I got home.”

“Grab a bowl, we’re having ramen,” Taehyung said as he plopped down on his couch, “Beer in the fridge.”

“Wow, a meal for a king,” Jimin said as he left to the kitchen.

“Didn’t he say he was a Prince?” Namjoon asked Jin who just shrugged in response.

y/n: just got home

jungkook: do you want me to pick u up? jimins here

y/n: that’s ok, I’m just gonna hang with bam

jungkook: ok :( love you

y/n: love you too <3

“So,” Jimin came back a little later and took a seat next to Jungkook, “When can I stop by the studio?”

“Give it a couple days and then you can,” Jungkook said as he set his bowl down on the coffee table, “Y/n and I just painted the walls this past weekend and it smells like paint—gives me a headache every time I go in.”

Jimin smiled, “It’s cool that you and Y/n are still going to pursue your own things.”

Both Jungkook and Jimin missed the way the others shared a similar glance. Jungkook’s brows furrowed for a second before answering, “Yeah, I mean, what else would we do? We’ve got to find a way to support each other, yknow?”

“You’re right,” Hoseok cut in quickly, “You support each other well for everything.”

Jimin was missing the cues being sent to him by the others. In his defense, he’s been gone for a while. All Jin told him was that you got that job offer but to not bring it up to Jungkook, but that was days ago! And would Jungkook be talking about his studio if he was planning on moving with you? No. So, he honestly thought the guy knew and you two were working it out.

“Yeah, I don’t think I could handle taking the news well,” Jimin went on, once again not understanding why everyone was looking at him with glares in their eyes, “I mean, if my girlfriend was thinking about moving across the world for a job, I wouldn’t take it well. I think I’d probably—“

“Y/n’s not moving,” Jungkook said with a small laugh, still missing the truth, “She hasn’t heard back about the offer yet but it’s here.”

The room fell silent.

Jungkook looked at them all, confusion crossing his features. Now he could sense it, he could sense something was going on around him and he had no idea about it. Why would Jimin assume you would need to relocate? Everyone looked at him with this sort of look in their eyes that began to make him wary. He released a small, cautious laugh, “Why would you think she’s moving?”

Jimin dropped his head realizing his mistake and now understanding why everyone was sending him those looks. Hoseok cleared his throat, “Jimin was just talking, you know how he is…”

“Yeah, yeah, I um, I don’t know why I said that, just ignore me.”

“No,” Jungkook shook his head, feeling something build up in his chest. It was a mix of concern and maybe anger? What were they talking about, “I want to know what you meant.”

He released a nervous laugh, “Y/n’s not—she hasn’t told me—she got the offer?”

“Jungkook…” Namjoon cut in, “It’s not up to us to say anyt—hey!”

Jungkook wasn’t listening anymore. He was looking for his keys so he could go home. What are they talking about?

You were in your bedroom with Bam. He was laying perfectly still on your lap as you played some movie in the background while brushing his teeth. You haven’t had dinner yet since you were waiting for Jungkook and you’re sure that even though he had ramen, he would still be hungry.

Todays the day you’ll tell him since last time ended in sex. You’ll get him nice and relaxed before bringing up the job and then you two can talk it out and see what to do. You’re still not sure if you’re taking it or not but you’re sure that after talking with Jungkook he’ll help you come to a decision that’s best for you.

“Y/n!”

A smile came to your face as Bam immediately jumped up ready to greet his owner, “Over here!” You said back as you began to move off the bed, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Before you could get to the door it was swung open and you immediately knew something was wrong. Jungkook looked angry, there was no denying his stone cold expression. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!?” He scoffed loudly as Bam stood at alert between you two, “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Y/n. Or are you going to wait for my friends to do it for you?”

Your heart dropped. What?

Jungkook couldn’t hold it in, he hit the wall lightly, “Say something! Did you get the job?”

“I… yes,” you said quietly and he took a deep breath. He wanted to feel happy, he was happy but… were the guys right? Were you leaving? Why haven’t you told him anything?

“How long have you known?” Jungkook asked, trying to remain calm. You closed your eyes scared, “A month, I didn't tell you be—“

“A month? A fucking month, Y/n?” His breathing was becoming erratic as he tried to push that strange lump in his throat down, “Why—what—oh my god. You told everyone else but me.”

“I didn’t! I swear, I didn’t tell anyone—only Yuna—“ you said as realization hit you. What did he mean by everyone? Who told him? Who knew?

“And you couldn’t talk to your boyfriend?” Jungkook asked, “Y/n, baby, I—we’re supposed to be a team. We’re supposed to tell each other everything. We, fuck, you don’t trust me?”

“Jungkook please,” you begged as you tried to reach for him but he moved back, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you. I did get the job but I would have to relocate and I didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to talk to you and see what we can do or what I should do and… and—“

“But you didn’t talk to me, Y/n!” Jungkook yelled, “You’re saying this but it doesn’t change the fact that you couldn’t talk to me.”

“I wanted to tell you on my own time,” you said. You couldn’t even bring it in yourself to get loud or more vocal. Jungkook scoffed, “When was that gonna be? Were you just gonna shoot me a text while you’re flying across the world?”

“That’s not fair! I haven’t even accepted it yet, I wouldn’t just leave you like that,” you told him as you tried getting close again. He couldn’t even look at you right now.

He’s so proud of you for getting the offer and he wants you to do what’s best for you. He doesn’t know if he’s temporary in your life or not but it doesn’t help that he wants to be selfish and tell you that you can’t leave him. He doesn’t want you to go but it’s not like he could control it. The guilt would eat at him if he ever tried making this choice for you.

Jungkook just doesn’t get why you couldn’t even tell him. You distanced yourself from him and this entire time he thought he was the one who might have done something to upset you.

He released a small scoff as he leaned against the wall looking defeated, he let you hug his waist but he couldn’t even look at you right now. He was in extreme duress at what this means for the two of you. He can’t just pack up his life and follow after a girl who can’t even be open with him.

“Do you love me?” He asked so suddenly that you couldn’t process it quickly enough. He mistook your moment of silence as hesitation and released a deep sigh as he tried pushing you away gently.

“Yes,” you told him honestly as you gave him space.

He laughed bitterly, “You can’t even say it.”

“Jungkook, I love you.”

“You know, I’m getting real tired of having to practically beg you to tell me you love me,” Jungkook’s voice was hoarse. He felt awful because he knows you love him but the way you close off from him and keep him in the dark makes him think it’s not reciprocated to the extent of his own feelings.

“Baby, please just sit with me and talk and we can figure this out,” you said trying to guide him toward the bed but he wouldn’t budge.

He shook his head, “I don’t want to talk it out. You couldn’t tell me when it happened Y/n, you distanced yourself from me and I genuinely thought I did something wrong. I thought that maybe I was the one who did something to upset you and I’ve been worried sick thinking that you weren’t in love with me anymore. So if you want to talk about unfair, there it is.”

“My girlfriend doesn’t want me enough to confide in me and can’t even say she loves me unless asked,” Jungkook felt his eyes begin to burn but he ignored the feeling.

“No, please, that’s not it, I just didn’t want to worry you if I didn’t even know if I was taking it or not,” you kept repeating, “I want to talk. I haven’t talked to anyone about it. I don’t know how everyone found out but please…”

“Y/n, I need space.”

You froze, “What?”

He couldn’t meet your eyes, “I just… I really love you and I’m mad you couldn’t talk to me about it but at the same time I feel like it isn’t my decision to make. I don’t want you to stay because of me, if you want to take the offer…”

He was struggling to speak as he began to walk away, “I can’t do this.”

“Jungkook I want to be with you, that’s not going to change so whether you believe it or not, you have a huge impact on my decision an—“

“Y/n, please,” Jungkook ran his hand over his face, “I want you to stay. I want you to stay so fucking bad but I also want you to do what you think is best for you. I can’t ask you to turn something down for me even if everything inside me wants to. I just… I don’t think I could go with you.”

“So I just need some time,” he said as he grabbed a duffel bag from his closet, “And I mean, let’s face it. We haven’t been together long enough for you to want to stay for me.”

“So you’re breaking up with me when I haven’t even decide—“

“No, I’m not. I would never. I’m just going to give you space,” he cut you off, “I’m going to give you time to decide what you want to do.”

“Okay but it still sounds like you’re just dumping me,” you told him as he packed a bag, “Feels like you’re giving me an ultimatum, you or the job.”

He took a deep breath, “I’m not dumping you, I just—can you just understand where I’m coming from? We’re supposed to be a team and yet sometimes I feel like it’s too much work for you to be open with me. You aren’t as vocal about our relationship and I am totally fine with that but sometimes you can’t even show me that you feel the same. You turn away from me, you lie, you can’t confide in me, and honestly if you really wanted to talk about that offer with me you would’ve done it in the beginning instead of push me away. That makes me feel like shit because I’ve been trying and trying with you and it’s like… you just don’t care.”

“I want us to work out, I really do because I love you, and I know sometimes you struggle saying it but you love me too and that’s why I just don’t get why you couldn’t just come to me first,” he kept going, “I had to hear it from everyone else and do you know how embarrassing it is that everyone’s been knowing more about my girlfriend then I have? I get that it wasn’t your intention but it’s what happened and it does make me feel shitty.”

He looked over at you and he could see the tears forming in your eyes and this time he understood why. He had finished packing his bag and went to you right away. He felt like crying too but he couldn’t tell you why. Like he said, he wants you to make the decision that’s best for you. If you want to try long distance… he’s not sure if he’ll be able to handle it but he’s willing to try for you. If you want to break up, he’ll be heartbroken but he understands the circumstances. You haven’t even been dating for a year, he can’t expect you to throw away your dream career for him even if it hurts to think about it.

He held your face in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut to fight back a couple tears and pressed a kiss to your boyfriend, “I love you.” He wasn’t expecting you to say it back, he was expecting the same old ditto.

“I love you too,” you whispered and he felt his chest practically squeeze his heart painfully. He left his lips there on your forehead, no longer giving a kiss but just basking in your presence for a little longer.

“Where are you gonna go?” You asked as he finally pulled away. He shrugged, “I’ll stay with one of the guys for a while, I’ll be back, I promise.”

You watched him rally up Bam and even though you didn’t want either to go you understood. If you could’ve just talked to your very understanding boyfriend about this then you could’ve saved both of you from this weird feeling. This is what he was talking about though, you’re not breaking up and yet thinking of him not waking up beside you hurts.

Bam ran over to you as Jungkook stood at the door and you leaned down to hug him too as he licked your face like he knew he wouldn’t see you for a while.

When he left it suddenly felt a lot lonelier than before and the second the door shut behind him he let himself cry. That made him feel ridiculous because this is not him breaking up with you but if you could’ve just talked to him, if you could’ve just been open with him things wouldn’t have happened this way. Some people might think he’s being dramatic but he’s changed and grown so much in the past two years and it would be a lie if he said you didn’t help him on the way, so to stop you from doing it too is like a punch in the gut.

♱

He ended up at Namjoon’s place where he’s been staying the last couple of days. He’s just the most understanding even if he doesn’t fully agree with how either of you have handled things.

“I don’t think you’re being dramatic Kook, but I can’t tell you that I fully understand everything,” Namjoon said on Jungkook’s fifth day of being there, “If Y/n takes the job offer and leaves I know you’ll be happy that she’s going after something she’s wanted for a while but also sad that she’ll be gone. Do you really think you couldn’t try long distance?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know,” Jungkook said as he ran his hand over his face clearly stressed, “I want to try if that’s what Y/n wants but… I want to be able to see her, hold her, know that I’m going home to her and if she’s away, I can’t. I would love nothing more than to go with her but I can’t just uproot my life for someone I’m not married—even engaged to. A big move like that could damage our relationship and I just don’t want to risk it.”

“If she asked you to go, would you think about it at least?” Namjoon asked. Jungkook thought about it for a moment, “If she asked me to… and I knew she wanted me there, I would—but I know Y/n would never ask me, especially not now that I’m doing the studio.”

“So you already have it in your mind that Y/n’s leaving?” Namjoon asked. He could tell that his friend was struggling right now. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, he’s not eating that well but he’s stubborn. He was upset, very, and that’s why he needed some space but at the same time he just missed you so much. It’s like he wanted to prepare himself to not be with you every day if you did decide to move. He was seeing if he could actually handle it.

“I’m just preparing myself for the worst.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n, like you have no idea how awful I feel,” Yuna said once while you three were getting coffee. You needed a couple mental days to think things through and she’s tried talking to you a few times but you just weren’t in the mood to talk. A week has passed and you finally decided to respond and go out for coffee with them.

You released a tired sigh as you leaned back on the small arm chair you sat in, “It’s whatever.”

“Y/n, this is my fault,” Hoseok said, “I just—I just wanted to make sure nobody talked about work before you could tell him yourself. I thought we were helping but obviously not so if you need to blame anyone, blame me.”

“I don’t blame you guys,” you said to them, “You’ve known Jungkook for a long time, I’m just… it was just a lot and I should’ve just told him right away.”

“I get why you didn’t though,” Yuna told you, “You didn’t want to worry him if you didn’t even know what you wanted to do.”

“But um, this is just me asking you as your friend,” Hoseok said, “Do you know yet? It’s almost been two months, don’t you have to make a decision soon?”

“Not yet,” you told him. You looked tired and mentally drained about this and that’s not what you want at all. “It’s my dream job but… it’s far and I would essentially be alone starting over so there’s just a lot to think about. And Jungkook thinks what he says shouldn’t affect my decision but it does.”

Hoseok and Yuna nodded understandingly knowing that if they were in the same situation it would also be a difficult decision to make. It was quiet between all of you as you thought about the job offer again but you finally gathered the courage to ask, “How is he?”

“Um,” Hoseok cleared his throat trying to think of a way to ask without making you too worried, “He’s, y’know, he’s just wanted time alone. He’s not mad at you, I think he just thinks you’ve made up your mind and he thinks he’ll hold you back.”

You groaned, “But he wouldn’t. He’s one of the most genuine and supportive guys I’ve ever met and it pisses me off that I just haven’t really appreciated him as much as I should have.”

“Y/n stop,” Yuna said, “He knows you love him and he knows you’ve been thinking about this a lot and that’s why he’s trying to make it easier on you even if y’know, that’s questionable.”

♱

Jungkook’s a mature guy, he swears it, everyone knows this but it’s been a long time since he last drank without knowing he was going home to you. He doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s been two weeks and he only knows about you from what Hoseok has told him—which isn’t much since he’s vowed to keep his mouth shut about what either of you say. You miss him, he misses you but he wants you to make your decision without him around. He doesn’t want to influence you on a life changing decision. He loves you too much to hold you back. He’s just also growing a little delirious now.

“This is such a fun night!” He yelled so loudly heads turned in his direction but he didn’t care. His friends tried getting him to walk straight but he’s a little too drunk for that right now. His arms were up like he just made the winning goal as he repeated himself, “I’m gonna get so fucking drunk tonight.”

He spun in a circle acting like he was on top of the world at the moment. Namjoon grabbed him by the back of his shirt, “Come on man, you’re already drunk, I think we should call it a night.”

“Let him have fun,” Jimin said laughing as Jungkook continued to walk in circles spinning himself so much that he was dizzy and with that feeling of puking. “He’s been a zombie for weeks now and this is the first time I’ve seen him relax. Let him get it out of his system.”

This was 100% Jimin’s idea and listen, he’s a good friend, he really is. He’s just the more carefree type. He feels bad for telling Jungkook but in his mind it’s not that serious and right now he’s just happy that his friend’s not passed out on Namjoon’s couch, sad.

Namjoon huffed as he tried to reel Jungkook back in, “Yeah and look how well he’s doing that.”

“I feel great, hyung! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! I feel like I can fly!” Jungkook said, spreading his arms out accidentally whacking some bystander.

“Hey!”

“Sorry!” Jimin said pulling Jungkook back before he started a fight with someone. He’s drunk enough to do that and he knows that Jungkook will be very willing to start a fight just so he could hit something. That’s the kind of guy he was before you and right now he’s got a lot of emotions running through him at the moment.

“I’m not!” Jungkook yelled in response to Jimin’s apology to the stranger and he watched him with a smirk. He was definitely looking for a fight right now, just like his old self would.

“Alright let’s get him home,” Namjoon said with a sigh as he attempted to help Jimin keep Jungkook walking before he really pissed someone off. Jungkook could handle his own but he’s a clumsy drunk so probably not right now.

Jungkook tried freeing himself from their grip, “No! I don’t want to go to your place. I want to go home.”

“Alright, so what are we still doing here?” Namjoon asked more annoyed now, “You’re just being stubborn at this point and if you really wanted to be with Y/n, you would be! So quit acting like this and go talk it out! You’ve been mad she won’t talk to you about things and now you’re doing the same. Look at how you’re acting. If Y/n was here she’d kill you for acting like a fool and I know you’re not actually having fun. You’re just acting like you are so that you don’t think about what’s going on and it’s not working!”

At that reminder Jungkook seemed to freeze up, as if he hadn’t been yelling at the top of his lungs about how fun the night was. Jimin looked serious now, realizing that this wasn’t all that okay, and he needed to get Jungkook back to Joon’s place to sleep it off. Namjoon was being a little cruel but it’s what Jungkook needed to hear right now and it's up to Jimin to be the sympathetic one.

Jimin pulled Jungkook into his side, “Let’s just get you back to Joon’s place and get you sober before you do an—Jungkook!”

He was nearly sprinting into a cab, swinging the door open and locking it before his friends could get to him. He told the driver an address and he was off. Don’t ask him where he was going because it was obvious. He’s going to you.

It wasn’t until he stood in front of his door that he realized his mistake.

“Aish,” he cursed himself as he stared around the concrete hall of his apartment. On one side was the cement railing facing the building courtyard and on the other was his old place. He grabbed his keys, it’s too late now, right? You’ll probably be sleeping and too tired to have this conversation again but he needed to see you. He muttered incoherently to himself as he let himself in making too much noise in his drunken haze.

Jungkook followed his usual routine. He knew exactly where to leave his keys and his shoes. He knew where to hang his coat and where the extra blankets and pillows were. He knew which remote was for what and where the outlets were.

You had been sleeping—or at least attempting to—but it was strange to sleep in an empty bed. It was a little hard to sleep when you were positive there was an intruder. You couldn’t even ask your big buff boyfriend to go check it out because he’s been gone! You should probably stay in bed and pretend you’re not home but you’re also scared to do nothing.

So you gathered all the courage you could and also your phone so you could be ready to call the police—oh and one of the dumbbells Jungkook left here before he split, just to be safe.

Now imagine if you actually used it on the intruder who was currently fussing with one of your blankets trying to get himself comfortable on the small couch. You released a sigh holding a hand to your racing heart, “Jungkook!”

He looked over at you, wide awake, “You’re awake?I—I didn’t want to wake you, I just wanted to be here when you woke up and—”

“Why are you here?” You asked as you went up to him. He resisted the urge to open his arms for you to crawl into. He was slurring on his words as he spoke to you and you can tell something was up.

“Are you drunk?” You continued to ask him questions and he was just trying not to seem that way because then you’ll ask him why he’s drunk. Jungkook was trying his best to seem comfortable. His arm was behind his head and his other hand on his chest, a leg kicked up on the couch, tangled in the blanket but it didn’t feel right. After some time he gave you a brief nod to your question and looked at you, “I want to come home.”

You turned away from him and for a second he thought you were just going to end it with him right now over the fact that he need a break.

“You’re so mean,” your voice was shaky and he sat up immediately worrying you would cry, “Y—you just left because you needed space and now you’re coming back in the middle of the night and… ugh I missed you so much.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said, “I thought you made up your mind. I thought you were just trying to hold off telling me and I was scared but Y/n… I’m telling you right now that if you want to leave I’ll go with you. I’ll follow you wherever and I just needed time to realize that my home is with you no matter where we g—“

His breath was nearly knocked out of his chest as you fell into his arms. He’s never held onto anyone so tightly in his life. He held you like his life depended on it and you cling to him like a little koala sitting on his lap.

“I’m not taking it.”

He couldn’t hear you at first, he hadn’t processed it but when he did he froze, “What? Baby, I, if, what are you saying right now?”

You pulled away from his chest to look at him, sniffling a little, “I’m not taking it. I’ve been stalling making this decision because I thought I didn’t want to let anyone down but I realized it’s because I don’t want to do it. If it was here I would take it but I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to make you pack up your life and go with me. I don’t want to leave our amazing friends. I don’t want to leave everything behind and Bam wouldn’t be able to see Tannie.”

He laughed softly as he brushed your hair out of your face wiping your tears in the process, “Always thinking about Bam… but I want you to be sure about your decision honey, I want to know this is what you want because like I said, I’ll follow you wherever. I just don’t want to see you cry.”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to be here with you and with everyone and I’m sorry I’ve made this so difficult. I just… I’m bad at making decisions and, fuck, I’m just sorry. I could find a job anywhere, I know they’ll hire me and I won’t have to leave everything behind for it.”

Jungkook felt mushy inside. Part of him still felt guilty that you were turning this down but he also knows that no matter how hard it is to decide on something, once you’ve done it, there’s no going back. Like with him, once you decide on each other that’s that. He’s not letting you and he sees that you won’t let him go either.

“And you’re positive this is what you want? You won’t regret it?

You shook your head, “I won’t,” sniffling, you added, “I love you.”

He smiled, “Ditto.”

You laughed softly as he pressed his lips against yours, “I’m so fucking in love you, Y/n and we’ve made this so much more difficult than it needed to be and I’m sorry for that.”

“Let’s just forget it,” you told him, “Let’s just go to bed and move on.”

He released a content sigh, suddenly holding you by the waist and standing with you clinging to him, “We’ll talk in the morning, just to make sure. For now I’m taking my crybaby to bed and tomorrow we’re bringing Bam home together because he missed his mommy so much.”

“Mommy?” You said even as tears filled your eyes, still being a crybaby, “I missed you both so much.”

“We missed you too.”

::.

wow okay this was a rollercoaster but like a good one idk

it came out softer than I wanted but whatever

also banner change cause Calvin Klein 🤭

personal taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt t @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802faves @knudsenheggedel @skzthinker @unnatae @aurorthi @beautywine @95ene @taekookstata @lilliankoo @shescharlie @annenakamura @lesoleile @aris-ink

ditto taglist: @exactlygreatcoffee @withluvjm @yungies @maar-leena @hoseokteardrop @tae-hibiscus @yeow6n @dna-black-and-blue @j3oooonsnsns @kayaluvs @zzztaegizz @urbestamericangirl @levis-bubba @stressed-but-trying20 @jungkooksseuphoria @terjeonbebas @sucre007c @ifthvss @kooklovee @pointofviewyugyeom @cherishoshi @iluvkoochie @aerastus

#jeon jungkook #Jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook request #jungkook au #jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #jungkook drabble #Jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook oneshot #jungkook x y/n

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bluesidez · 9 days

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OKAY I HAD TO HIT YOU W THIS BC I NEED THIS TO COME TRUE 🗣🗣‼️‼️

AcademicRival!Miguel x AcademicRival!reader

where they will do quite literally ANYTHING (legally) POSSIBLE to one up each other.

whether their petty rivalry began in high school or first year of uni/college, IDC- but they absolutely despise each other.

and!!! at some point down the track, they forgot why they were beefing in the first place, only for it to start stemming from a place of 'jealousy' (yk how sometimes jealousy is actually feelings of romantic interest in disguise,, yeah, that) and it gets to the point where they are quite literally making it all their friends' problem bc of it.

like i can imagine reader drinking something that Miguel sees and Miguel going 'i need to have this all the time and sell it out so reader can never have any' and Peter is like '???', or reader finding out Miguel got a certain mark and goes 'nobody speak to me for a month i have to understand everything about quantum physics before that smug asshole opens his mouth' and Jess is like '??? just kiss, fym??'

and then they finally have a moment where they have no choice but to rely on each other- whether Miguel's car breaks down on the side of the road reader happens to drive by and she takes him to his, or if reader desperately needs help in a situation and immediately calls him bc she knows he'll pick up bc she needs scary dog privileges and thats HIM so then they end up having a moment of reflection together with either super fluffy smut or absolute debauchery and fluffy aftercare i totally dont mind either way.

IDK do you know what i mean??? 🫣🫢🤭

anyway LY BLUE-BLUE, thank yew for letting me ramble on 🤍🩵

Are you asking me to write this? 🧐 (I shall add it to the pending ideas list just for you 🐰🩵)

I wrote that as a reply as soon as you sent it, but now I have more ideas that I wanna yap about to go along with this.

SO!! You already have a rivals, enemies to lovers trope going on. What better way to make it even more fun than to add the stoic x chatty dynamic???

Like I’m imagining the reader and Miguel first meeting in middle or high school. He’s a transfer student that’s immediately making the top grades and people are like where tf did he come from?? Reader doesn’t really think anything of it, she just carries on with her school life, chatting away (and getting in on the gossip about Miguel).

It’s not until he ends up in the same class with reader one semester (probably in high school) that reader is finally able to be in close contact with him. He’s so quiet and a little boring, but there’s always random girls coming in and out of the classroom to attempt to chat to him.

They’re always bringing snacks or sweets for him. He always turns them down with a “No thank you. I don’t like chocolate.” type of response. (What he thinks to be polite and cordial)

The guys in the class think he’s a huge jerk. The girls in the class still fond over him. You think he’s an oddball, a weirdo. But you really have no solid information to justify it.

It’s not until one day that the teacher asks this obscure question that he pisses you off. (I havent thought of a weird question yet tho). Everyone else has given crude or stupid answers, riling each other up and joking. You raise your head to give the most out-of-the-box, yet plausible answer that leaves the teacher impressed and the class laughing in shock. Miguel scoffs and debunks it so fast, that you start to feel like one of his rejected groupies. If you thought the laughter for your answer was loud, the laughter for his sounds like the crowd in a football stadium.

You’re embarrassed but you don’t really show it. You just brush it off and joke with everyone else like usual.

Then, one of the class’s first huge tests come. You’re gunning for the number 1 spot although you figure it won’t be too hard with half of the room being class clowns and the other half not giving af. You read over the material once and already have a good grasp on it, so you joke around with everyone else. There’s rap battles and TT routines. You guys even manage to get the teacher in on some of them. From the front of the room, you can see Miguel glancing back at you with such a sour look on his face. Wtf was his deal??

Test day finally comes. You’re the first to turn yours in with a smug smile on your face. You even take a nap until the next bell.

You’re on cloud nine for about a good week. Although, every time you open your mouth in class, Miguel looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Then, the time came for the teacher to hand out the papers. He was pretty theatrical and loved to announce who got the highest score.

You were gearing up for him to say your name. And you don’t know of you’re crazy, but you’re certain your mom didn’t put “Miguel O’Hara” on your school registration form.

You frown as you come back to reality, watching as teacher handed him is paper. From your seat, you can see the bright red 100 in the corner, a smiley face to adorn it.

Then the teacher hands you your paper. A 99.5. Just 0.5 points from a perfect score. And what you got points taken off for is something so ridiculous that you could scream.

You can see him in your peripheral as you chat with the other students about the answers. Just as you discuss your silly mistake you take a small look at him. He has a faint smirk on his face, as if to laugh at your downfall.

From then on, you decide that it’s a war.

[and obviously, the story would travel with them as they grow. Once they’re adults, I can imagine Miguel to still be this same stoic, yet more approachable person who has had a ROSTER of hookups and a reader who’s still so flirty and chatty, yet can’t find a good partner to save their life. The dynamic of him knowing exactly how to make reader feel good verses reader being overwhelmed for once would be sooooo good]

What do you think Lexie-bun?? 🥸

#lab testing 🔬#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader

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askprotoroll · 1 month

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What is the “Roll Z” outfit about?

Oh-ho-ho! I have been waiting for someone to ask about that.

See, about a month ago, a friend of mine showed me this video by man on the internet.

Listening to it, I couldn't help but picture Roll in place of Zero, and thus, I drew up this:

Now, I don't have a solid nor canon X timeline just yet because there's several ways it could go.

Please also keep in mind that I have never played the X games, so if I get anything wrong, I'm sorry!

All the timeline ideas start at the end of the golden age of robotics. Robot masters have been made illegal because of all of Wily's attacks, and so they're ordered by the government to (unfortunately) be deactivated. Including the light children. Light and Wily both end up going into hiding.

Roll, of course, did not agree with this and ran. But, she somehow gets damaged in the process. (The scenario I imagine the most is a building collapsing on top of her.)

This is where the timeline splits.

Timeline idea one:

The first idea I had has Wily finding Roll after she's damaged and decides to use her to get the final one up on Light.

He upgrades her to be the Z look, and much like with Zero, he implants the maverick virus into the gem on her helmet and seals her away, making her an unwitting pawn in his final plan.

Wily did not do anything to make her loyal to him because he knew it wouldn't work. He also knows the virus will likely not affect her either because of her sentience. (which is probably dumb in hindsight because she was affected by roboenza. Maybe the cure made her immune? Idk)

Light, in the meantime, is working on creating X (the timeline also splits here, but I'll get to that later) and passes away while X is in containment doing the final checks, as per the normal x timeline.

Now... Whether or not X is found before Roll is up for debate (as i said, i never played the X games), all I know is Dr Cain still finds X, and Sigma finds Roll.

Roll is initially hesitant to trust Sigma, even fighting him at first, but she is convinced to stop, and she does end up joining and becoming one of the top maverick hunters.

That'd be where Roll meets X...

The timeline will most likely go on like the games from there.

Timeline idea two:

Much like timeline one, Wily finds and upgrades Roll. But unlike timeline one, Wily has a change of heart, not wanting his legacy to only be destructive.

In this timeline, Zero DOES exist, but he is unfinished, and the maverick virus is in him instead of Roll.

Everything else is like timeline one, except Roll may end up finding Zero at some point.

Dunno what she'd do. Maybe if she had a dream sequence like Zero did in one of the games of Wily telling her to "fix his mistakes," she'd destroy him or something.

Timeline Idea three:

This timeline can be a variation of one or two interchangeably because the change here is involving Light, and is actually somewhat based on an AU my friend has.

In this timeline, Light ends up taking Rock with him into hiding and upgrades him instead of building X.

Everything else carries on like timelines one or two up until "Rock X" ends up meeting "Roll Z"...

After that, everything would carry on the same.

Timeline idea four:

This last idea is something I got from this video of a protoman rom hack for Mega Man X 1

This time, instead of Wily finding Roll, It's light who finds her and upgrades her, which would include fixing her core because ley me just sat this now,

Because Dr Light is the one who made Roll's experimental core, only HE can fix it since he's the only one who knows how it works. That doesn't mean it can't be maintained by others, though.

This means that in the other timelines, Roll likely still has that issue with her core.

This also means that Zero exists, too, but this time is fully completed. Although honestly, I imagine that Zero is built to be a girl in these timelines because I read somewhere that Zero was based on Protoman, and since he'd technically be based on Roll in this timeline...

I'm not sure what the dynamic between Roll and Zero would be to be perfectly honest. Neither of them would know about Zero being built by wily unless Zero tells Roll about that dream sequence.

Then again, he apparently asked light about it, and Light claimed he didn't know so... that's up in the air I guess.

There are several more possibilities I haven't covered here, like if Blues was taken to be upgraded by Light or if Roll wasn't found by anyone. But the four I talked about are the ones I think about most.

As I said, I don't know which one is the "canon" timeline for the AU. Buuut I think I should mention this-

When the robot masters are deactivated, I personally think that they were all preserved in a museum somewhere. It'd be such a shame otherwise. Plus, it means that, one day, Roll would be able to see Rock and Blues in some form.

Despite the rough patches in their history, Roll loves her brothers and would very much miss them.

I'll probably end up drawing more of Proto!Roll Z eventually.

For now, enjoy this little bit of dialogue I imagine being shared between X and Roll

X: "So, you were the first of the Robot masters?"

Roll: "I was the prototype, yes."

X: "You were made by Dr Light too?"

Roll: "Mhmm.."

X: "That would make you my sister, right?"

Roll: "...huh. yeah, I guess it would."

- Melody

#mega man #mega man x #prototype roll au #blues and roll swap au #au #megaman au #megaman #rockman #alternate au #mod talk #proto!roll #proto!roll z #she's called Roll Z because Zero #i thought it was clever

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gerardpilled · 2 days

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This is about the Beemer pics too. I’m an artist and usually when i do private commissions I don’t post about it (if the client doesn’t give me permission to do so ofc) and I would love to post about it cuz more posts more engagement more followers yada yada I’ll have a roof over my head for another month.

Idk how photography works and I don’t know how it’s a private art book (or whatever they call it) if he can share these little snippets (because he def can not do that without permission) I feel like these are gonna be used on a project that is yet to see the light of day. That or Beemer hasn’t photographed anything of interest in a while and he needs engagement. It’s probably the latter unfortunately and mcr fans are just getting baited for the algorithm to do magic in the next few hours and make his posts show up in explore page.

He’s def not a mean girl tho. Just using you. Like every other smart person. Sorry.

i'm sorry i feel like i'm going crazy 😭 he is friends with these people he is just posting something he's working on on his story. there's nothing else to it imo. everyone does that. i do that. i don't see how it's any different when it involves individuals who fans have attributed arbitrary scarcity value to photos of. this is literally a non issue...

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yummyboyzpost · 1 year

Text

♥!Boss Bakugo x FemReader!♥

-- 𝔽ᒪ𝓤𝔽𝔽/ 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈𝓉 👊 / ꋊꄲ ꇙM꒤꓄ 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 :0 --

You've worked For Bakugo for about 7 months now becoming somewhat close with him, but he defiantly doesn't hold back on the yelling nor does he give you special treatment but....its Bakugo lol. But what happens when a certain green haired boy comes along. Ohhh nooo who could that be Muhshaahha. You are also Quirkless Oh yes and when I put >(*) Those little star things its just Y/n Talking to herself :) lmao

♥ *part one*♥

(Your pov)

*Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring*

"Oh god, shut up!" I yell at my phone that doesn't seem to stop ringing. It's my one day off who the hell is calling me. I grab my phone seeing the caller id

-𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳🤬💥-

"ahh shit," I answer the phone "GODDAMN IT Y/N!" I pull the phone away from my ear knowing I'm probably gonna be def tomorrow "I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THE PAST FUCKING HOUR!" He said heaving breathing on the other side of the phone. ((Oh right for got to mention your his assistant, Gooooddd luckkk babes!!)) "Sorry sir, I was sleeping. I ju-" before I could get anything else out he cut me off "You what?" he said in a unsettling calm voice "I just woke up?" I said confused "My office now!" He said with a stern voice. "Oh uh sir, It's my day off." I said laughing not noticing he had hung up

*That bastard, I'm gonna kill him*

As I was walking into Bakugo's building, I bumped into a tall, buff ass man goddaayuumm. I looked up and I had never seen him before and yet he looked so familiar. God he was Hot as shit, *NO! y/n get your shit together, no time for gocking if I don't get to Bakugo in 5 Minutes I'm as good as dead*

"Sorry." I said grabbing my papers and I was about to get off the floor when I was floating, what the actual fuck? "A cute girl doesn't belong on the floor." he said smiling with the most adorable smile ever! omg my heart I think it might explode. what a lovely death that would me I say taking a step back but regaining my footing *No! Y/n snap out of it! You need to get to Bakugo's office!*

"Ah Thank you for your help uhhm?" I questioned hoping he would answer. but why dose he look so- OH GOD! ITS DEKU. I freeze in shock "Midoriya, you?" I was just standing there like an idiot *Come on Y/n! All you gotta do is say your name.* "De- DEKU!" I scream making everyone look at me *YOU DUMB WHORE!* shit... "I-I mean um, I'm L/n! sorry I just um." I don't know what to say... He laughed "It's okay L/n don't worry abt it, I-" He was about to say something but i saw my coffee all over his I'm guessing very expensive shirt. "OH MY GODS! I'm so sorry, I spilt my Coffee on your shirt! I don't really have money to give you. ummm Here," I said reaching into my pocket. "Thats my card, If you need anything call okay? I'll be there I promise! I gotta go or i might get my head blown off. It was really nice to meet you Deku!" I said running to the stairs.

(Deku's Pov)

Wow she was cute, I wondered If she had a Boyfriend. She gave me her card for what? In all honesty I didn't know what for, its just coffee, yea it might stain but i can just get a different shirt. It's not the end of the world. She made me smile on how clumsy she was, I might just call her.

(Y/n Pov)

I knock on Bakugo's doors hearing him groan knowing that was his was of telling me to come in *SHIT I'm dead* I walk in seeing his back turned to me, "You asked to see me?" I asked walking to his desk. "Where were you?" he said in a calm voice which surprised me. "Oh, today was my off day sir. I thought that meant it was yours too." I said sitting in the chair Infront of his desk. He turned around "You have no off days Y/n" he said eyeing me up and down, I didn't really dress to work today. In all honesty I thought we would just ask me to get him lunch. And yes he calls me by my first name, idk why It doesn't bother me. He's never called me L/n since I started working here.

"You look horrible." he said standing up walking over to me. "Excuse me? You know I could've just not came in. And good luck with firing me, cuz you know damn well no one besides me could handle your explosive attitude Katsuki!" I said standing up and about to walk out but he was already Infront of me. He looked angry "Sit." He said with firy eyes. *Shit y/n what were you thinking, you need this job. You can't just quit like that.

He's defiantly gonna fire you now you DUMB BITCH* I was waiting for him to say not to come back but he didn't say anything. Not gonna lie I was scared, he's never been this quite. "Bakugo, I'm sorry I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I said sitting back down in my seat. "Deku, huh?" he said eyeing down on me. "Um what?" I said confused. "Oh you mean earlier? I bumped into him on my way up here and spilt my coffee all over him, So I offered to help him with something in return." I said smiling and grabbing the status report out of all the papers I had on my lap. "Also here," I said handing it to him "I finished it early, Although you're not gonna like it." I said standing up again.

"Didn't I tell you to sit," he said placing the paper on his desk, and making me sit back down by placing both of his hands on either side of the chair. his face was so close I could feel his breath on my nose. his eyes... why is he looking at me like that. My cheeks turn red and my shoulder tense up. "Bakugo w-what are you d-doing?" I said with wide eyes, He didn't say anything he just stared at me. he leaned to my left ear "You won't talk to that damn fucking nerd ever again you hear me?" he said breathing hard *Oh My GoD Katsuki if you don't back up right now I'm gonna... Please back up!!!* "Okay." is all I said why wasn't he backing up? I said okay! then I felt a slight pressure on my shoulder and I heard some mumbling. "Bakugo, I can't hear you you're gonna have to move you head" I said as he shook his head.

He moved his head off my shoulder, "It wasn't important, he said backing off me and back over to his chair. I can't help but to think that he was lying. "You can go home." he said going back to work on his computer. I wanted to say something but, I think it's best if I didn't. I walk out with out but before I close the door I look back to say something but his eyes are already on mine. His eyes widen, "There's no need to be jealous Bakugo, you know yours." I say smiling His cheeks turn the slightest color of pink *cute* I walk out of his office and turn to go to my desk *Welp I'm already here might as well get some work done.*

<<Later that day, everyone has gone home except you and Bakugo, that's usually how it is anyways>>

"I thought I told you to go home." A deep voice said, I knew who it was "And I am," I said grabbing my jacket. "I had a lot of emails to look at and since I was already here I just decided to stay." I said smiling and walking over to him. "You don't drive correct?" he said looking at me "Nope, I sure don't" I laugh walking past him. He grabbed my arm I turned around and he was looking away to him the fact that he was blushing but I could tell *He's too cute! Ugh if only he liked me I'd make this man wish he could kiss me all day HAHAHAH* "It's late, let me give you a ride home Y/n," he said letting go of my wrist

*Why is he acting like this, he's never once asked to take me home. well except that one time I fell down the stairs... yea were not gonna talk abt it.* "Um it's okay! the bus runs late on Friday's. I'll be fine." I said smiling. "I wasn't asking." *UGH Bakugo and his demands... not going to lie its sexy as hell but it also mean I cant say no.*

The ride home was quite, he asked me a few questions abt Deku but that was all. When we got to my apartment, he got out and walked me up to my door. "Goodnight Y/n, I'll see you tomorrow." he said looking down at me with those sexy red eyes. "Goodnight Bakugo." I said about to walk into my house when he grabbed the door nob I turned around *AHHH he's way TOOOO CLOSE MY POOR HEART, IS he trying to kill me?* I turned my head to the left and tried to get ahold of my heart.

"Please don't call me that anymore, just call me Katsuki like you did earlier." he said as he leaned down I turned my head back forward and all of a sudden I felt a warmth on my lips, his lips were on mine?!?!?! His eyes widened and so did mine. He backed up and cover his mouth "I- I didn't mean to-" he was talking but I cut him off "No, N-no, it was my F-fault I shouldn't have-" I cut myself off and covered my mouth. "I- Um, Goodnight Bak- Uh I mean Ka-Katsuki!" I said as I turned around and ran inside my apartment.

*Oh god* I slid down my door and onto the floor. *I JUST KISSED KATSUKI BAKUGO!! I THINK IM GONNA PASS THE FUCK OUT.* my heart was racing and I couldn't catch my breath. What have I done?

algf;iuapfiuabg[uabgd OMG haha you guys kissed what a Silly SILLY Y/N ahahahhaha I'll probably post the second part sometime this weekend. Tell me what you think abt it!!!

I am Jumping with joy!!! this was the post i thought i lost forever lmaoooo it was in my dafts im so mf-ing happy haufgpiafpa

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lalalian · 1 month

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LITERALLY every single DR I have

I have not completed the scripts for most of them 😭😭

KEYS: 💭 = Non-Media / Not from a book, movie, or show DR

Sorry if the grammar is bad, I’m too lazy to look over this post 😭😭

Magical Girl DR 💭

heavily inspired by Precure bcccc it’s cute. Who doesn’t want to fight enemies with frilly dresses?

Regular School DR 💭

School but like filled with drama, I have some things written out 😭😭 it’s super 2015 Wattpad-y so idk if I’m gonna talk abt it

Fantasy Minecraft YouTuber DR 💭

I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING… I DO NOTTTT LIKE ANY MINECRAFT YOUTUBER OTHER THAN LDSHADOWLADY AND SNIFFERFISH. I MEAN THAT LITERALLY. don’t misunderstand, please and thank you 🫶

Dreamscape Station DR 💭

I had a vision, but I’ve yet to work on this script enough for me to post a lot about it 😞 I did post about it tho on my TikTok account! Essentially it’s like the backrooms but cute, ethereal, not dangerous (kinda), and full of shifters from other realities. You take a train to different parts of ‘Dreamscape’ and explore! I made tickets for this DR too 😭😭

K-Pop Stan Life DR 💭

Self explanatory. I’m gonna be a fansite, buy as many albums as I could possibly buy, and trade cards with ppl online + provide lots of freebies!

J-Pop Idol DR (💭 kinda)

This was a requested script from someone on my request form (I’ve just realized I didn’t link my request form here on tumblr… it should be up before anyone’s read this). I ended actually using this script for my love live DR cuz my old love live scripts were the ugliest thing on the planet

Obsidian Bride DR

Obsidian Bride is a manhwa that’s literally Singles Inferno but in an isekai otome manhwa world + everyone’s based off a gem, your gem is chosen based on your life and personality!

MHA DR

I was influenced to shift here bc of Priicklleshifts on TikTok 😭😭😭. I don’t really like the actual anime that much, but it seems like a really fun place to shift to! The script for this DR is 100% complete (I haven’t added anything to it for months now)

Wind Breaker DR

Wind Breaker’s a bike racing manhwa that you can read for free on Webtoon. Idk who I’m gonna date, but I literally CANNOT date Jay bc he reminds me of my brother 😭😭

Made of Stardust DR

I’m so mad that nobody’s shifting here 😭 if you like fantasy romance books, stars, enemies to lovers, magical forests, angst, etherealism, I bet your ass would want to shift here. I plan to be Kalisa, and so far I don’t want to change the plot

Futuristic K-Pop DR 💭

Also self explanatory. I do have a filled version of this DR up if anyone wants to use it (It’s not in my current format tho cuz the script is old asf😭). I scripted in a contestant show where the contestants would come from different planets (Mars, Earth, and Kepler smth… I don’t remember the numbers)

Better CR DR 💭

The place I’ll probably be permashifting to

Hallows Ball DR 💭

Okay so I started this script like 2 years ago or smth and I was supposed to finish it before Halloween (it’s a masquerade ball DR but with a twist) and I just haven’t finished it yet 😭 let’s hope I finish it this year

How to Get my Husband on my Side DR

Another manhwa DR!

TGCF DR

I bought the first book to read bc I absolutely loved the anime 😭😭 I haven’t read more than like 30 pgs… I just really don’t like it when books are in third person 😭😭

Fantasy Kpop DR 💭

I completely forgot about this DR until I went through my TikTok account to see how ugly my themes were 😭😭 Basically this DR is set in a fantasy world, each of the kpop groups I scripted in are of different species (fae, vampires, elves, etc…) and I’ve gotta gather certain groups to help me find artifacts in every single kingdom so that magic doesn’t disappear (so corny omfggg…)

Hogwarts DR

I only wanted to shift here bc everyone else wanted to 😭😭

Old Kpop DR 💭

Not gonna shift here anymore, but the script is complete 😭😭 I remade it for my Kpop contestant DR

Kpop Contestant DR 💭

Self explanatory, there’s filled and non filled versions on my linktree

My Own Kpop Group DR 💭

This script happens in the same reality as my Kpop contestant one, this is this group I’ll be in once my contestant group disbands. My own Kpop group is time and mythology themed!

Laurier Academy DR 💭

An actual idol school DR, you learn how to be a Kpop idol + a bunch of other stuff. I made a whole school website for this DR and there’s a four versions of this script:

Filled Co-Ed

Empty Co-Ed

Filled Girls Only

Empty Girls Only

(Co-ed is all genders in one school)

Elite School DR 💭

Idk why anyone uses this script bc not only is it ugly but the formatting is 😨😨 this was my first script that I posted to TikTok, and it has all the characters from my other DRs as students. Idk why, but I made everyone has an animal form. Mines a cat (kinda boring but I wanna be able to sneak around 😭)

Dragon Rider Academy (Aethergarde Academy DR) 💭

There’s also a filled version of this script in my linktree, don’t recommend it tho cuz it’s also poorly formatted and ugly. I think this was the second script I posted on my TikTok account

Shifting Library DR (Realmwalker Library) 💭

It’s a shifting library but better! All the books here are written by shifters. There’s different sections for world building, storytimes, quizzes, fanfics (of other ppls DRs), tips & methods, nsfw storytimes (adults only plz), philosophy related to shifting, and discussions about shifting (idk why I didn’t just merge discussions with philosophy..). Don’t be surprised if some or most of the shifters here aren’t human! I scripted that all non malevont beings that shift can come here; this does also mean that the books are automatically translated into the language you understand best. Oh and the authors aren’t always going to be human.

Love and Deepspace DR

My script for this one is pretty much complete, but I really want to know more about MC’s evol before shifting here 😭

Mental Health DR

I won’t talk about this DR at all on TikTok or on here (sorry) bc it’s super personal and I don’t want to seem like a damn baby 😭😭. I’m actually kind of scared of men irl, plus I didn’t have the best high school experience in my DR. My goal with this DR is to practice talking to people and get over my fear of men. This DR is my first ever DR; my original intent with shifting is to help get over my fear of men + people in general, especially taller people

Waiting Room

My waiting room is essentially an isekai manhwa mansion 😭😭 I scripted that there’s a serving cart with one of those 3 tiered afternoon snack things + milk tea, the milk tea has special properties that calm me down immediately when I drink it. My goal is to use the smell of the tea to know that I’ve shifted, and to drink the tea so I don’t fuck myself over and shift back to my OR 😭😭

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leofrith · 6 months

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[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

I wasn't actually tagged by anyone and I would never usually do this but @ainulindaelynn said anyone could consider themselves tagged and this one looked fun so here I am. 🤪

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five! Four one-shots and one multi-chapter WIP.

2. What is your AO3 word count?

16,451

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Assassin's Creed, formerly (but I'm sure I'll be dragged back into it at some point) Star Wars. I also have a bunch of old WIPs for Pacific Rim and (🤢) the MCU but never completed/published any of them.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have five fics posted so:

Hideaway - 147

Bright Skies - 136

Press On, Move Along - 92

Out of the Cold - 35

Honor Bound - 22

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to respond to every comment I get, even if it's just a short little acknowledgement. Because I would like people to know I see them and appreciate them so they keep commenting. <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Press On, Move Along. Everyone died, dude.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hideaway!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! 🤪

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, as of like... three months ago. I have yet to publish any of it though and it'll probably be a long while before I do, but I also have a little one-shot that may be done long before then if I decide to actually finish it. In terms of "what kind" I think it's pretty vanilla. IDK how else to describe it.🧍🏻‍♀️

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not generally, except for the AC Star Wars AU that has taken over my brain. I'm not even sure I would count that as a crossover so much as a fusion AU because there are absolutely no Star Wars characters in it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm not positive this person was copying my fic, but I distinctly remember not long after I posted Hideaway coming across a fic with the same premise (Din playing hide and seek with the kids on Sorgan), which followed all the exact same plot beats as mine. And I do mean exactly. Obviously the plot itself is not particularly groundbreaking and I think there are plenty of other similar stories out there, but this one was similar enough to set off alarm bells.

I didn't end up doing anything about it because again, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and it could have easily been a coincidence, but obviously if they had fully reposted my fic then that would be a different story.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Actively written a fic with another person? No. Plotted a fic from start to finish in a months-long series of increasingly deranged DMs? So many times. Hi Parker. :)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Girl... I can't answer this. I don't know about "favourite" but if I had to pick a ship that has made me crazy for the most amount of time, it's probably Mako/Raleigh.

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

I still think about my post-Mando s2 fix-it fic every once in a while but I honestly doubt I'll ever finish it. Disney has pretty much killed any care I once had for this show and it fucking sucks. :/

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not even being modest right now I just actually don't know lmao. Anything that I might qualify as a strength isn't consistent enough for me to feel justified in calling it a strength.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Overthinking my use of commas, editing while I write, feeling directionless when I don't do enough planning ahead of time but feeling suffocated when I do too much planning ahead of time. Also just being sooooo fucking slow, but I think that can be attributed to the overthinking.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it as much as humanly possible. If someone is speaking another language I'll usually just note it in the text somehow or, as has been the case with Honor Bound a lot of the time, purposefully write from the POV of a character who doesn't speak that language which, in addition to conveniently sidestepping that issue, works well as a narrative device.

I just absolutely hate the thought of putting Google translated dialogue in a fic and having a native speaker cringe their way through grammatically incoherent dialogue lmao.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel >:(

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Honor Bound obviously holds a special place in my heart but Out of the Cold is really good. Like really good IMO.

No-pressure tags: @orphiceonian, @aeide, @findusinaweek, @reiverreturns, @basimibnishaqs, ????? anyone else who wants to <3

#one of my favourite pastimes is talking about my writing instead of actually writing and it shows #ky posts text #tag games

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wegonbealright-09 · 8 months

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Jimin getting that number gagged everybody hey!

Him going number one on BB100 had everybody chocking on their D. The whole of kpop was gagged, the members were gagged and someone at the company was losing his hair.

The whole of kpop was gagged because the biggest GG in kpop still doesn't have a BB no1 and jimin is considered to not be that popular in SK for certain reasons, him getting something that veteran kpop idols and groups couldn't get so unexpectedly and made it seem so easy gagged them. And I think the members were gagged because as much as he's known to be "the third most biased member" they didn't except that from him, they expected the kind of response Tae got because most of the fandom is tkk shippers and they don't like jimin even the members know that. Them being gagged got them bitter and jealous in the process.

I'm going to start with namjoon for various reasons. This guy last year seemed so done with bts, like he was so done being the leader and he wanted this freedom, he was so excited to go solo. He then released indigo which was beautiful but also mehh. His album pulled better numbers that BTS's own. He was so happy you could see the glow in he's eyes he was genuinely happy. He was considered the next bts by various articles he was so happy. Then face was announced and happened all of sudden he's not satisfied with his numbers he wants to pull more numbers he's releasing Collab after Collab. He released sprite with that girl during the same period and Vibe and then another one during jimin's debut. What was he hoping to achieve, more numbers, more listeners. He then became obviously bitter when LC went number 1 posted a story saying he wrote lyrics. A simple congratulations would have been enough what was he hoping for, recognition? What? He already got a paycheck he's credited as a write we know. He was so done with the group last year he looked so done, in his debut he didn't mention BTS at all literally now all of a sudden he's mentioning BTS every second because being arrogant and idgaf only works for certain members and he started feeling insecure about his numbers after Face, okay.

Then there's Tae who's only friends with jimin when it benefits him. Well he grew up poor( they all did except Jin but this is about him) and as a person who grew up poor like me you try to fit in to get the bag because at all costs you tryna get the bag, you have to secure the bag. But at what cost. He's basically losing himself he doesn't know if wants to be cute, sexy or a bad boy or whatever because his personality is made up he's just fabricated because he's genuinely such a boring person you can tell by his voice. Before FACE when smfpt2 was about to be released he posted something in weverse about looking forward to midnight or something idk. But it was about smfpt2. Then he went missing literally he posted nothing after that, imagine your best friend, your soulmate achieving such a feat and as someone who's chronically online you don't post about it? Tell me how. He was gagged I'm sure he kept on clapping hands every five minutes because he couldn't believe it. How jimin achieved this before his gf's group, how he achieved it when the fandom literally doesn't like him.

Then there's jk and yoongi whom I have a lot to say about but I won't say anything at all because I'm just tired of these two like literally. When's yoongi going to the military like nigga move your scrawny legs to the fking military he's probably not going to be in the field like others because of his shoulder thing meaning he's going to serve more months than others yet he's still here doing lord knows what just go please for the love of God and everything holy just go. Then jeon jungkook I've talked quiet alot about him to the point where my little blog started to feel a bit toxic, and it seemed like I was a jk anti whereas this is just a mere jimin focused blog nothing else. As for Hybe I'm done talking about them hell no.

And as for jimin. I hope he one day gives back the same energy he receives but the reason why he looks younger than all of them and doesn't even need a face routine for glowing skin is because he truly give zero fucks.

Anyways I'm just ranting because whilst having a glass of wine I was thinking and I wish Tumblr had voice record option because typing tires me

#jimin #park jimin #namjoon #yoongi #bts #bangtan #taehyung #jungkook #controversial

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diamondsandlemons · 1 year

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Hi sorry for being the least normal person on the planet about this but I saw you rbing some The Locked Tomb stuff and it's only been like a week or two since I got extremely into the series and it's nice to see someone I follow also show interest in it around the same-ish time as me! Can I ask abt your take on the books so far n fav character/s?

well I've only read the first book (I'm definitely interested in continuing with the series but I probably won't get to it for a while, esp. since I wanna get back into playing Ace Attorney games, as playing a visual novel kinda takes up the same time slot in my day as reading a novel, yk?) so there's def stuff I don't know abt yet.

but anyway yeah! I did really enjoy it. I appreciate the comedy in it, which I wasn't really expecting since like the cover art is so grim and it opens with some really dense politics stuff and a bunch of long names (that I just know should be pronounced with a british accent but I can't really make my head voice do that) and like the actual plot is very serious with deaths and stuff but nonetheless This Book Has Jokes

and its best when they're the dumbest, simplest jokes you could think of and Gideon says them out loud because thats the kind character she is. love her

Palamedes is great too because he entertains Gideon's antics while also being the one most focused on solving the mystery castle puzzles. (this girl who's been here for like a month and has never spoken a word to anyone is talking to me now? and she's rude? thats fine I'll just roll with it). he's also like the most normal dude in the whole cast. you feel comfortable when he's around

(btw what the hell was up with the thing he discovered about the rooms in Canaan House being from different time periods? like the different rooms are literally different ages? I don't think that was ever explained or brought up again???)

Also, for "lesbian fiction" being basically the one thing everyone says about this series, I was kinda surprised at the lack of a romantic plot in this one? I mean maybe there will be more of that in the other books idk, but like. ok so from the beginning it's very clear that Gideon and Harrow are gonna be the main pair here. and I was a little skeptical they were gonna be able to sell me on that because of where their relationship started, but nahhh I had nothing to worry about. they were meant for each other and enemies to lovers works great it turns out. but like. their relationship definitely improves a lot over the course of the story, but most of the time they don't talk to each other about anything but their jobs. its all bones and skeletons and locked doors with them.

don't get me wrong it has strong gay vibes all the way through (and Gideon is constantly commenting on how hot other women are, which is great) but at no point are Harrow and Gideon actually like. dating. closest they got was when I think it was implied they fucked once, after the pool scene. which like, good for them, I'm glad they got the opportunity to do that before, ah, y'know.

speaking of which I have NO clue what'll happen next based on how it ended. and the brief glimpse of the emperor at the very end was not at all what I expected, so that's curious as well...

OH yeah and speaking of the empire. uh at least the copy of the book that I have has a bunch of bonus material at the end, like in-universe essays and reports (and a pronunciation guide where I frustratingly learned I'd been reading half the characters' names wrong). and ONLY in that bonus material was it ever acknowledged that other inhabited planets exist outside of the empire. like for the whole book it kinda seems like there are nine planets that comprise the empire, and that's it. no humans anywhere else in the universe. no life outside the empire.

sure, the Cohort supposedly fights "enemies of the empire" but that's all that's ever said about that. could be like evil skeletons or some other kind of space monster for all we know. but no there ARE other civilizations, which I guess might be at war with the necromancers? it's cool to know that, that this story's universe is bigger than we've seen, and if I had to guess I'd say bigger than we probably ever will see, since there's still so many ghost/death mysteries and House history stuff our beloved necros have yet to solve.

ok thats probably everything I have to say about Gideon the Ninth for now. thanks for giving me an opportunity to put it all into words, lol

#Gideon The Ninth #The Locked Tomb #mulbruk

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elliebear666 · 1 year

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Letter From My Child-Self

So, to preface, my therapist gave me homework months and months ago. I have rarely ever done the homework not because I didn't care or didn't want to, but because I kept forgetting... finally, months later, I got around to doing this. I'm... a little nervous to share this because it is an extremely vulnerable part of me. But... I figure, idk, I want to document it. And? If anyone out there reads this and finds something positive from it? That's amazing. This is dark, and heartbreaking, and mildly unhinged. But I think it is important that I was as open and honest as possible! I'll show this to my therapist next session!

Hey, Ellie.

It's me, Mattie.

We haven't talked in a while. I kind of miss when we used to talk a few years ago when Matthew first let you come out. We were all really scared that people would hurt you so we hid you so no one would. But we all got to spend time together. I wish we could have talked more but you needed to grow up I guess.

I think you're becoming a pretty cool lady. You're nice and you care a lot about people. You love your family and your friends a lot, even if you don't see your friends that much right now. I don't think you're doing as bad as you think you are. You really are mean to yourself and Matthew and I wish you would stop. We all worked so hard to protect you but now you're hurting yourself. It makes me sad that you feel so bad that you hurt yourself. But I understand because I also feel bad a lot. I pray a lot for things to get better but they never really do. I'm glad you don't have to deal with it all anymore though. I'm glad you're finally the person you are. I know it was super hard to live the way you were. I understand a lot more than anyone thinks I guess.

I guess I'm sad a bit because you really want someone to love you, but for so long you didn't really love yourself. So people could tell and it made them feel bad for you, but it didn't really make them want to love you in a relationship or whatever? It's really hard for people to love someone that doesn't like themselves as well as trying to love themselves. But I also know you really love people. I know you really loved your ex girlfriend. I'm sad that it got so bad though. I know you wanted to marry her and you never wanted that with someone else before so you must have loved her a lot. I hope I find someone I love that much one day. I think about getting married a lot sometimes but I think about being the girl and not the boy. I don't want to be a boy. Mom says I am and everyone says I am but I don't feel that way I just don't say anything to anybody. I tell people on the internet that I'm a girl and it makes me happy so I'll just keep doing that. I guess you understand what that's like more than anyone.

I think that you should try to get better. Not so you can do stuff other people think you should but so you can be happier. I know you want to be normal and do normal people stuff. I bet it's hard to deal with all the stuff you do. The people that made fun of you for how hard it is probably don't like themselves I guess. So I probably wouldn't listen to them much.

I'm super glad that you're being you though. I used to dream about flying away, and I'd day dream about being a girl but I'm embarrassed and I don't know what to say. I told dad that I wanted to do a movie where I'm a girl and I have the blonde wig and green dress and I'm the main character for once but I don't think he will because he only does what he wants to do and gets mad if we don't do it too.

I think you shouldn't give up on your dreams either! You're getting good at writing I think. It's hard to tell because you use some words that I haven't heard yet but I probably will eventually. The stuff you write seems really sad though and it makes me feel sad for you. I hope you follow your dreams and meet someone you love and live a happy life!

I was also thinking… it would be good for you to remember some things. Your girlfriend was really mean after you guys broke up but you were pretty bad too, maybe worse I guess. I know you feel super bad because you keep hitting yourself and hurting yourself with fire and it worries everybody. What I wanted you to remember, because those people were lying to you or about you and saying you weren't who you were, I want you to remember when we were on the computer at the trailer doing that learning game about I think it was the wild west. But one of the things you could click on was an old time dress, and we'd keep clicking it to see the woman in the dress. Do you remember how it made you feel? You wanted to wear her dress and be her. You thought it was pretty and wished you could wear something like that but we both knew mom and dad wouldn't let you and people might hurt you or mom and dad. I also want you to remember us telling people I was a girl that had parents with ponies. I know how much you and I liked horses. We liked dinosaurs and frogs and turtles too, but we really wished we could have a pony. I'm kind of sad we never did get one. I still think about it.

I know you used to have a lot of nightmares about stuff. Like about dad hitting mom and us kids. How scary he was when he got angry. We were all so scared all the time. I guess we haven't had much time to be kids. We do but also we don't I guess. It makes me sad. I know one of the things you can't forget is the time me, you, and your brothers were standing in the living room crying because dad was screaming at mom and she was crying and he pushed her and grabbed her hair and pulled her into their room. She screamed while he was pulling her and she screamed a lot once the door closed. He was hitting her and she was crying and we were so scared but we couldn't do anything. We were just kids. Or all the times I was crying so dad hit me or yelled or threw things at me. I don't know why he doesn't like me crying or being emotional. He's really awful and we all hate him, but we are more scared of him.

I also think a lot about the time we were at Jenny Wiley park at the lake and mom was going home to do some stuff but it looked like it was going to start raining but dad decided to swim across the lake for some reason and he left us there on the beach while people drank beer and were loud. I felt upset and scared, but I tried not to show it. I guess I feel like that's what he always does. He leaves and doesn't seem to care about us. He's not kind. One time, mom broke her foot because Jack's leash got wrapped around her ankle and she fell. But dad was yelling at her and telling her to stop crying because people would hear her. I was really upset because I knew she was hurt. But he didn't care or seem to notice she was really hurt. I don't know why. He doesn't seem to care or notice when we are hurt and if we cry or are loud he gets mad and yells and sometimes he gets into fights with mom about it. It's scary.

I also know you remember the stuff your older brother did to you. He was really awful. Older brothers are supposed to protect their siblings, especially their little sisters, but he didn't. He hurt us a lot. He's really mean and he keeps killing animals and they scream and he doesn't seem to care. I cry, but he just pushes me to do stuff I don't want to do so I do it anyway. One time he saw a big turtle, like a really big one! And I saw it because I loved turtles and I was going up to look at it and he picked up a big rock and smashed the turtle with it. It twitched some and there was blood everywhere and I cried a lot but he laughed at first then told me not to cry or tell mom so I didn't. I never tell mom or dad about the stuff he does. I want to but I don't. I don't really know why. He keeps hitting the dogs too and he's really scary sometimes. He also pees on my face in the shower but mom thinks he's just being silly but it doesn't feel that way. We do other stuff too, where I get to be a girl. I almost want to tell him that I am, or want to be, or something I guess. But I don't. Instead, I get to be the wife when I lay on top of him in his room and I really like that. We don't do a lot, we touch each other and stuff, but it makes me happy that I get to be a girl. I wish I could always be a girl but I guess I'm a boy. Mom keeps cutting my hair and I cry because I want long hair but she says I have to cut it or I'll get ticks. She says I look handsome but I'm just upset. The other girls in the park don't cut their hair during summer. Why do I have to? I don't really feel like a boy but I also don't know how to talk about my feelings and stuff. I don't really understand all of it. Mom and dad don't talk to me about that really so I mostly just keep stuff to myself.

I know you remember all this stuff. I wish I could have long blonde hair. I actually had a dream that I was a girl with really long curly red hair and I was on a cliffside with a Lassie dog and the grass was really tall. In the dream I look over the ocean and I feel good. But something is also not right? I think in the dream I'm sad and I don't know why. I have this dream a lot. A lot a lot I guess, where I'm this girl with her dog.

I guess that I learned some stuff from all of this at least. We get homeschooled so mom doesn't let us go outside until after the other kids get home from school. I learned a lot from her, but I also forget stuff a lot and she gets upset with me because I forget stuff so much. She said I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. I guess I just don't pay attention a lot. I'm daydreaming or thinking and I just don't remember what I'm doing or why. I lose stuff a lot too and I really hate cleaning my room because it is super hard. I end up taking forever because I try to play with or get distracted by a toy or something I find and forget where I was at in cleaning and it is really hard to make myself do it so I cry and mom and dad yell at me. Sometimes they help me.

I think you should work more on trying not to forget stuff because you'll end up getting in trouble a lot. I know you used to think about being a girl a lot, but just like me you didn't know what to say so you just told people you're a girl on the internet and it made you happy. I also know you dated that guy when you were thirteen or so and he was about sixteen but you told him you were 16. He was the same age as your older brother but his name was Tony. You really had feelings for him but you used pictures of girls that you weren't and you were upset that you couldn't be her. You wanted to be her so much you were really sad. That's why you make all your game characters girls. You liked the name Sarah a lot and I understand. It's a really pretty name. You ended up telling Tony the truth but it broke your heart. I remember you were so hurt and you cried and were upset when you and him got xbox together and your friends called him your butt buddy. You didn't know what to say but it hurt your feelings because you weren't a guy, really. Even if you had guy parts.

It's sad all this stuff that happened but you at least learned who you didn't want to be. Dad was awful and you learned how to care about people. But it was hard for you because you feel a lot and you don't know what to do with those big feelings. I don't either but dad doesn't like it when I cry so I try not to. I guess you at least know that if you're ever a mom you will treat your kids better. And, I wish you would stop telling people you're a normal girl? You're a girl but you're not a normal girl, I guess. I know it makes you so sad that you cry a lot and hurt yourself. I know you cry a lot because you can't have babies. That's really sad and I wish it was different but it isn't I guess. You know who you are at least. Even if it took a long time to be you. You're doing it now and I'm proud of you.

I talked a lot about bad stuff, but I also want you to remember good stuff that happened! Like when we went to Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Like two of them I think! And the zoo's and the theme parks! Like Dollywood! Or that night where you and your older brother crawled under the neighbor's trailer during a big storm to save those baby puppies that were under the trailer! We felt so good that we'd saved the puppies. Or, do you remember when we first started playing Final Fantasy 8 on the playstation? I know you loved that game a lot! It had romance and you wanted to be Rinoa. You watched the intro a lot and took the instruction booklet with you and asked mom if you could listen to Breathless from the Corr's on the portable CD player. You listened to it again and again while you thought about being Rinoa. I remember it made you happy. She was so pretty and you wanted to be like her. Do you remember the first time someone called us "She"? I know I'll never forget! I was being a girl for one of dad's movies and I got to wear a wig and that green dress so I wore mom's shoes and I went outside because I wanted people to see I was a girl. I really wanted people to see me as a girl.

For the movie I had to get hit by a car for one scene, and I was lying in front of the car by the front wheel, and an old lady got super upset and pulled over and ran over to us and said, "Is she okay!?" And I know it made me feel so good. That someone called me she? They saw me as a girl? I knew then even more that I wanted to be treated that way. I wanted to be called "she" but I only could do it online when I talked to other people in gamespy lobbies and stuff. That was one of my biggest moments as a kid! I've never been able to forget it! I know you didn't either! I also remember how I used to record my voice with the stand up microphone and I'd change it so it sounded like a girl. It made me so happy! I know you did that a lot too, and didn't want to talk in games with people because you didn't sound like a girl. You thought a lot about voice changers but you couldn't find one that would work. Now you don't need one!

I guess now I said all that, I want to ask something from you, Ellie? Sorry I wrote a lot. I guess I had a lot to say. Ummm. I want you to start loving yourself more. And loving that you are who you are. Because *I*really, really want to be who *you* are. It makes me sad and hurt when you tell yourself you hate yourself because I know how much happier you are now that you're a girl. Though I guess you always were a girl, you just look more and sound more like one now too!

I wish too that… you would be safe for the nieces and nephews. Because I need a safe person I could tell anything. I don't really have anyone I can tell my secrets to. I wish I had you so I could tell you my secrets. I feel like you'd have taken me away. Even though mom and dad said they'd have me taken away or that I'd get taken if I told anyone what dad did. I feel like you would take really good care of me, even if you would forget stuff a lot. Because you can say "no"! I can't really. If I do, dad hits me and then sometimes hits mom.

Can you please stand up for us? And… Can you please not let people be bad to us anymore? Matthew can't protect us anymore. So you've got to. But I think you'd be a better mom than Matthew would have been a dad. He didn't want to be a dad. Or a brother or a son or husband. So he said he'd never have kids or get married.

Would you be willing to maybe… draw or paint with me sometimes? I like doing that a lot. We could paint cats or draw dragons and knights! I miss watching you and your old girlfriend paint. I wanted to play with her but I was scared and Matthew was always worried she would leave him. But she said she loved him a lot and called him "baby" and they kissed and laid together a lot so I think she did. I don't know though. I guess we all miss her.

Also um… can you please be more nice to everyone? I know Matthew was really sad and upset and he was hurting himself and wanted to die… he said that a lot. But you don't have to live like that anymore. I know you don't look how you should and you have to change your voice… but it makes me feel scared when you get mad at people. You get so mad and it reminds me of dad only… he didn't apologize. You do, though. I guess you should try not to do stuff you need to apologize for.

I guess the last thing is that… when you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, would you maybe… be a kid sometimes with them? I won't come out. You'll just be little Ellie. But that's good enough for me. I guess I'm a little sad about how things are. I feel lonely and sad and I don't know what to do. I want friends, but I want to be friends with girls. But all the girls you could have been friends with you ended up liking. Or they stopped talking to you when they got boyfriends. I know how sad you were about that. It happened. A lot. You felt like I do about mom and dad and everyone I guess. Like they don't love me or want me. Like they'll leave me alone and I'll be alone. I don't want to be alone, Ellie. I don't like being alone...

I miss your ex girlfriend's friends sometimes. Not all of them. Some of them were mean. But it felt good to have girls to talk to. We both get really, really lonely. I wish I could have talked to them and told them things but I don't guess they cared. They were her friends not yours. You tried to be friends but… you did really bad stuff and then no one wanted to talk to you anymore.

Don't be like dad and your older brother. I know you're not but sometimes I feel like you forget that you've never been like them. We are so sensitive… and we feel so much. I get overwhelmed a lot. You do too. But I'd rather feel too much than not enough.

Ellie? I love you so much. I know you love me too and I wish that things were different for us. I wish we'd been born right but I guess it's just part of our story.

Sometimes I miss Matthew too. Not… that I want to be him but… he was my friend. And he was your friend too. I got so used to him being around that I miss having a guy like him in my life I guess. I guess you do too.

I wonder if his ex girlfriend experienced him the same way we did? He really loved people a lot but he was really hurting and sad and he was so angry and lost. I think he saw parts of you in her, Ellie. He saw someone like you. You saw parts of yourself through his eyes. And you wished you could be like her. I'm sorry stuff got bad. I know you wanted to be her friend, but you and Matthew loved her so much I don't think you could have ever been her friend because she would have other boyfriends and it would hurt you so much you'd cry. But you would have stayed because you loved her. So... I guess that's part of why you pushed her away. Because if you saw her kissing someone else it would make you want to die and it would hurt too much.

Please be good to yourself. We all love you so much and we are proud of how far you've come.

The last thing is… don't hate Matthew? He didn't act right. And he hurt people and was mean sometimes. But he always meant well. He really loved people. He just didn't love himself because he wasn't even real I guess. Don't hate him or blame yourself. He made mistakes. You made mistakes. But… all of those bad things he did, he wished every day he could take it back and make it right. He kept hurting people even though he didn't want to. I guess he was hurting so much that everyone around him ended up hurt too. Which is sad.

Matthew and I still love you so much and we will always be here if you want to talk. We know you're here for us too.

Thank you for being you, Ellie.

Love,

Mattie

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error404vnotfound · 9 months

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la flor y la muerte rant review because what was this plot structure

guys I was actually excited about this one im so sad

this book has no business being 640 pages with not one, but TWO time skips. the first one is 6 months, the second one FIVE YEARS

this should have been split into 3 books of their own so we could get properly fleshed out characters *and* relationships, because you keep telling me you are friends with this person or that you are in love with this other one and like ????? i mean I'll have to buy it, even if you haven't spoken on page to the first one and has had a single conversation with the other one

also no one bought into the enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, because I don't know this people. I can't feel sorry for them or their relationship. I do not believe they haven't gotten over the other in five years after the 5? conversations they had. like 🧍

the only relationship I liked was asha and aden, even if their friendship gets obscured by their own love interests

back to the plot structure because what the hell was going on. so.

besties start studying into this highly demanding academy to become the leaders of their world when they graduate (which takes 3 years) and then there's this trial 6 months after they begin to... actually I have no idea what the trial was for apart from getting points(? but then that doesnt matter anyways because we don't know anything about the other teams anyways?

but that was not my first point. my first point was that these six months they are training and like getting together as a group and bonding to gO OUT INTO A CAPTURE THE FLAG NO RULES IN OUTTER SPACE just get skipped. we get the first like 3 days of class and then 6 months have passed we are all besties now. hello ????? girl it's the first time this character's name is on page and you are telling me you trust this person with your LIFE in OUTTER SPACE ?????

I wanted those six months. I wanted to see them get close to each other, and the group dynamics, and how they trained. but nope. 6 months later we are leaving to go into this trial where everyone else is going to try to kill our group because we are the best team. and like. there's no tension at all???? you know one of the group is going to die but it's probably one of the characters that hasn't really talked yet so who cares. (not me)

the trial was okay I guess. it was there. some convos with the main couples which I also don't care about so. okay

(they win the trial ofc) (not that it matters at all)

then they go in ONE mission. a couple gets together (good for them I guess) (this mission lasts three months apparently but we get like 2 chapters for each pov character and that all happens like the first week they are there) then they go back home and there's a party! and for plot reasons I'm too tired to explain half the group has to run away into space because they are wanted traitors now (two characters decide to join the actual traitors for reasons. idk I don't know these people I can't even remember who is who)

but yeah now it's 5 years later and the couple that's not together is so fucking annoying. it's been 5 years superalo tía. anyways they all meet again, they overthrow a government with the help of some rebels, the end (this is about 150 pages long and I kid you not 70% it's the other couple getting together) (they succeed in overthrowing the gov and like good for them but also? kinda easy???? it doesn't feel earned. we know nothing of the rebels they are now working with. I'm just 🧍🧍🧍)

so yeah, it wasnt good

#fave authors published a fail book #yet again #2 books to go #v reads olympus #v reads the seliriaverse

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roxalicious · 7 days

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Do you have any more yuri recs?

sure, here's a few

love thy neighbor: about 24 year old uni student pah doyeon and her 40 year old housewife neighbor jin joo. jin joo's husband left her alone as he works to pay off his debts, and it has Not been a fun few months for her, as the loan sharks after him have been terrorizing her daily. luckily, pah doyeon is there to lend a hand and shelter!

probably my biggest recommendation as of right now, so long as you don't mind the very much not healthy nature of the whole situation. this baby's got everything in it: blasphemy, cheating, milf-hunting, obsession, self-discovery through lust, and so on. pah doyeon is great. there's a lot wrong with her. she said this shit unprompted in the latest chapter

a love yet to bloom: a sweet story about takamine, who has yet to find anything in life she enjoys, and sakura, a book-loving girl she happens to meet on the train after school. it's very cute and has a nice, chill atmosphere. i always look forward to the next update

otome no teikoku: ok so. heres the thing. if you decide to pick this up the first, idk, dozen chapters will be Bad. there's a lot of male-gazey uncomfortable stuff at the beginning, and while it doesnt take too long for it to stop feeling so offputting and start being surprisingly wholesome and earnest instead, it never stops being horny, so read it if youre in the mood for that.

as for what it's actually about... well there's this all girls school, right? and it has girls in it. and they are all gay and dating each other. its basically just a collection of short chapters about different couples within this school, and it has some of my favorite dynamics and moments in yuri. i reread it very often (and there's almost 300 chapters of this thing out, so that's a feat) and it never stops being enjoyable. stan nononon/yumimi

a monster wants to eat me: about hinako, who lost her whole family to the sea in a tragic accident and now yearns to join them in the afterlife, and shiori, a mermaid claiming she's here to eat her. the problem is, hinako being actively suicidal and depressed means her flesh won't exactly be very tasty, and shiori is a bit of a gourmet, meaning her goal is to first help her recover and regain her joie de vivre, and only then will she eat her. i highly recommend this

out of the blue!: transfer honor student x delinquent yuri. it's very short so i dont wanna yap about it too much, but it's a big big personal fave. it's only 4 chapters so check it out

sougou tovarisch: honestly anything by arata iri never fails to get at least one laugh out of me, but this one especially. if you know a kiss and a white lily by canno (and if you don't, go check it out), the premise to this one is a bit similar to the dynamic between ayaka and yurine, with hardworking MC obsessed with being number one and chill love interest who beats her without even meaning to.

the focus here is less on romance and more on comedy, and i love it. kanna is amazing. she wins a chess match by punching her opponent so hard she passes out. its only 13 chapters + assorted extras, very fun easy read

now some stuff that doesnt really have yuri as focus but ive really enjoyed regardless and want to shout out and this is my blog so whatever

liar satsuki can see death: satsuki can see dead people. specifically, she can see the future corpses of people up to 24 hours before they actually die. she always zealously warns the future victims of the imminent danger, and she has been branded a weirdo and a liar for it as no one has ever actually died before. in truth, she is actually literally incapable of lying, and the only reason everyone survived so far is that she will go to frankly insane lengths to save them. she's a great protagonist and her autistic swag has captivated me and many others

mieruko-chan: miko can see... Things. that no one else can. but she has to pretend she cant, especially to the Things themselves. she doesnt know exactly what will happen if they realize she can see them, but she's certainly not about to find out.

this started as a twitter short that quickly gained popularity, so the premise of many early chapters is basically "miko sees something terrifying and has to ignore it, hilarity ensues", but the initially one-off characters introduced over time are eventually explored and given quite a lot of spotlight and im having a lot of fun with it. stan michiru

there's always more but here's what ive got so far- wait. read shuukura. ive talked about it before it's in my pinned please read shuukura i love those weirdos to an insane degree

#Anonymous #yuri recs #kinda wanna post some otome no teikoku pages later #its really good guys i swear

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cydhouseofgryffindor · 1 year

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I posted 8,387 times in 2022

36 posts created (0%)

8,351 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lovebittenbyevans

@07-05-1994

@soufcakmistress

@wandahadavision

@breanime

I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022

#bridgerton - 36 posts

#mayans mc - 19 posts

#ez reyes - 14 posts

#angel reyes - 13 posts

#bridgertonedit - 13 posts

#anthony bridgerton - 12 posts

#kate sharma - 10 posts

#bridgerton spoilers - 10 posts

#looks - 9 posts

#will smith - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#wow i’ve always been fascinated by houses with greenery but i’ve never seen the seasons shift

My Top Posts in 2022:

Mayans Spoilers

Episode 8

Chile EZ no longer in the building…like that man is completely gone! Is it bad that I’m kinda turned on by it? 🙃

Louisa does not need to be anybodys mom…not rn at least…she needs to do some major healing. But Angel is such a cute daddy omg 🥺 I wonder why he hasn’t said anything to Felipe or EZ about the baby.

Angel semi trying to be there for EZ is adorable. He’s not that good at it probably because he always felt he never had a support system

They just ok Nails girl bye lmaoo

I’m sick of Emily like why? Just why?

Felipe is just heartbroken all the way around and it’s breaking my heart

Miguel can’t catch a break lmao

Taza giving Bish the same attitude now and I am all the way here for it.

Jess girl should’ve just minded her damn business because now look at her ass smh

24 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

It still think it’s hilarious that JD plays the younger brother and he’s older than Clayton lmaoo

26 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

Mayans spoilers

This shit is out of control chile!

I was so conflicted when EZ and Manny (idk his characters name yet) were fighting 😭

Gilly is forever about that action lmaoo

Angel and Nails? No just fuckin no. She is not built for this life. Her trying to stop him from going after his brother pissed me off so bad…even though I know it’ll hurt Angel I really hope the baby ain’t his because I can’t take much of her and all her crying. Like idk why they’re forcing this…mans literally dreads having to go home and then deleting his other baby’s pic? Ion like that. At least he isn’t sleeping in jeans anymore though.

I thought we were going to get two whole episodes without Emily but…

Bish has officially lost it…idk mans needs a hug and therapy

While I’m happy Manny has a neck tattoo (they knew) that shit is so ugly lmao like wth?!

They did not have to make me think they killed Angel..I was about to turn the whole show off and never watch again

EZ with that fake ass beard had me crying lmaoo but I’m happy we get to see more of his time in prison

The time jump was weird though..like why?

Letty needs to relax like foreal

EZ also needs a whoopin for many things but do not ignore my father in law like that sir! Also that big ass dog in that little ass trailer?

Taza just seemed out of it man…he’s battling his demons like shit

I’m guessing we’re going to get a lot of flash backs? Because they didn’t explain some shit within those 4 months. I mean was coco punished or anything? Or they just said fuck it. I’m so happy he’s clean again thought but he needs to let Hope go.

This man from jail is gonna set EZ on a rampage I feel like…

I’m excited for this season though

27 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

Mayans Spoilers

Episode 6

Manny is back!!!! Been waiting on boo and he’s ready to tear some shit up!

So like I know Angel is the bad boy, fuck boy and everything else but them making him sleep with Letty? I feel like he really never would’ve done that. That’s so fucked and messy and her ass better not be pregnant! He shouldn’t have been the one to go anyways

Gilly was really the only one visibly upset about Coco and I don’t appreciate that at all

I hope something actually happens with EZ and that girl. Especially since Emily is on his line again. Can she just go to jail or something?

Miguel coming out of hiding? 👀 I wonder who he called. Where is Nester? 👀

Once they showed Luisa finding her baby I knew they were going to make Nails lose hers. Which is fucked up. But she can go ahead and take that ring off because we all know…

I don’t like that they made Angel lose another child though and papa Reyes was excited about having a grandchild.

Also what is papa Reyes doing? Is he moving like what’s going on? Did I miss something?

I guess we’re going to war 🙃

29 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My chest 😩😭

216 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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poifect · 1 year

Text

frustrated 12/4/22

let’s go backwards

I just got home from going bowling with my family and their friends...

I saw my best friend’s story of her and other girl friends going out in their cute ass fits and make up and the only thing I wanted more than anything was to look as good and hangout with the hot girl group :’( But I couldn’t because I was with my family and we were going home and that was that. I don’t have the option to do things at my own choosing. It has to have had consultation from everyone I’ve ever met in my life and their grandmothers blessings.

I thought about if I had no rules and no one’s opinion to consider, the only thing I wanted to do was to go out with my bestie and her friends and be a hot girl and have jun flaunting being a hot girl.

Yet, here I was in the back of the family SUV almost at our one way road and I knew I had no choice. I had no control. If it wasn’t my mom, it would be my boyfriend. Which is the perfect segue to transport us to a conversation a few hours ago...

“Okay I have to tell you something and uhhh **** called me at 6 in the morning today because she was in the hospital from being drugged at Ricks last night. Of course I wasn’t awake at that time to answer the call, but she texted me and said she was hospitalized. I hope you’re not mad.”

Here’s a question for you reader: Would you have thought that entire situation would have made me mad? Do you think I would be mad about that? Why the fuck would I be mad about that? Unless you fucking roofied the girl yourself.?

I said that exact sentence to him and he said why am I acting like this? My voice and tone are being mean. “Bulgan, why are you being like this?

Excuse me, what do you mean, sir?

So I try to pull myself together and just mutter things like okay and sure. After quite a few roundabouts in the conversation world, we seem to be making headway for wrapping this conversation, and I say “ I am glad she’s home and I’m glad she’s okay”. “Are you sure?”

Another question for the reader, would you have answered that as “Yeah, me too” rather than “Are you sure”. SO you’re probably thinking holy shit she wouldn’t want this girl to be okay? Jesus something really bad must’ve happened and this girl wants revenge.

(Un) Fortunately nothing of that sort has happened. Although maybe it has. It is pretty unclear.

But because I’m writing this, I’ll tell you my side. This girl who’s 7 years younger than my partner has been in love with him and has wanted to use every single use to contact him and to have him by her side. He has. Because they’re good friends. But I think her motive is much more than just friends. But my partner apparently just doesn’t see it. In his eyes, it’s just this nice friend needing his help for the most ridiculous things like borrowing a pencil for her exam that she’s running late to or having him create a playlist blend together because he simply did not enough about metal rock!!! “WHAT? YOU’RE 27 AND DON’T KNOW ABOUT ROCKKK???? NO WAY I AM SO YOUNG AND I LOVE ROCK. IT MAKES ME SUPER FUCKING UNIQUE AND I AM JUST SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE! WE SHOULD WATCH BREAKING FUCKING BAD CAUSE IT’S THE LONGEST SHOW ON EARTH WHICH MEANS I CAN SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH YOU AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.”

“uh ok yeah sure dude whatever I’m high”

That is a snippet of how I imagine their interaction goes. But also I have no fucking idea and perhaps my partner lets go on things more than he says he does.

Final question, but in 2 parts.

1. Would you be reaching out to a guy friend you haven’t really talked to in a few months who has a gf, at 6am, saying you’re at the hospital?

1.a. If so, why would you? unless...?

1.a.b.If you’re the author’s partner, what do you make of this? Would you not be suspect that this girl really needs and likes you? Wouldn’t you want to make it clear that is not the case since you’ve clearly found your soulmate that she shouldn’t really think of him as her emergency contact???

1.a.b.c LOL idk how the sub labels work but idgaf. Wouldn’t you be updating your partner as these messages and calls are arriving? Not continuing talking to this female (lol I purposely chose female smd) and then telling your partner 8 hours later and somehow still making it her fault?

2. I don’t remember.

I am sad and I feel trapped without any choice in my life.

Goodnight, strangers.

My bf is asleep and not talking to me in the evening hours because somehow he just accidentally goes to bed without knowing how tired he is.

Fuck this shit.

I am drunk and high writing out my feelings. yay.

go 25 me :P

suck my fucking asshole and suck my fucking clitoris.

#smh

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midgardianweasley · 3 years

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Your grace! Bless us with a Natasha x reader where the team is invited to a wedding by a close friend of Tony’s. Then when the bridal bouquet is thrown, the bride throws it too hard where reader accidentally catches it and the team is just going “Oooooh!” And reader is like “I’m not even in a relationship!” But the team know in secret that reader and Natasha have feelings for each other but are too dumb to know. Just funniness and fluff! 🥰😍 (Your writing is brilliant btw!)

I loved this request!! I hope i did it justice <3

it’s a wedding thing

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

^idk Nat, you tell me^

Summary: When the Avengers get invited to a close friend of Tony's wedding, what hidden feelings will surface? What relationships will bloom? Who will be the next bride?

Warnings: none!

word count: 4.1k

Message/ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

requests are open loves

“Alright gang, this one’s for all of us, we all listening?”

A cluster of ‘yes’ ‘go on’ ‘come on Tony’ filled the room, everyone eager to hear what the fancy envelope held inside. It was amusing to watch Tony take advantage of everyone’s excitement, slowly peeling the envelope, gasping when he pulled the letter out of the casing slightly, not letting anyone else see what was written on it.

You, Natasha and Wanda all seemed to share a look of amusement at the dramatics and the almost visible frustration coming off of everyone. It was like watching children try to wait patiently for sweets in a shop, almost completely off of their seats. It wasn’t until Tony noticed that Pepper was giving him a warning look, that he, begrudgingly, hurried up and announced what was written on the letter.

“Wow. Caleb’s getting married.” He spoke, eyebrows raised in surprise. “And he’s invited the team.”

“Well, I’m not going.” A voice spoke from the corner of the room, clearly un-amused by what was currently going on.

“Luckily for you, I don’t see ‘reindeer games’ anywhere on the invitation. So you’re off the hook.” He replied with a tight lipped smile, Thor had been visiting recently to see Jane and pay the avengers a visit and wanted to bring Loki to meet her.

‘A pleasant trip’ Thor said.

‘A living hell’ Tony corrected.

It got a laugh out of the team though. Nat and I especially. We’d spent the last couple of nights in each other’s bedrooms, making a list about our favourite moments through the day where Tony and Loki clashed, making stupid insults towards the other. I think it’s safe to say that we went through multiple bags of popcorn over the nights, though you were both thankful it was there, it was the only thing muffling the laughter, if it hadn't, you’re almost certain the entire compound would have woken up at the sound of our laughter.

You nudged Natasha’s side gently, the bicker between the two men still continuing.

“Hey, Nat.” She turned and tilted her head questioningly.

“So we know how a physical fight between those two worked out. But, if they had to compete in a rap battle, who do you think would win?”

Her face immediately lit up, eyes sparkling which only enhanced their beauty, you could almost feel the cogs turning in her head, trying to go through every logical option.

“Well. Loki seems pretty well spoken, so vocabulary wise, I think he’d be strong. But Tony is sarcastic which can help with quick quips. But then again, Loki-”

“Hey lovebirds, Romanoff, Y/L/N” Tony clicked his fingers, earning himself a pair of eyerolls at the term he’d used. “Anything you wanna share with the team, or can we move on?”

“Actually-”

“Overridden. Moving on.”

You looked towards Natasha, snickering slightly at how blunt he’s being, Loki having found his way under his skin again. A part of you felt bad for the man, but that feeling is soon replaced by amusement. It was obvious Nat felt the same way, her sharing the same expression as you, although, you could hide yours much better. She had to physically put her hand over her mouth in the hopes the man wouldn’t notice her.

“So, the wedding is next week, a little short notice but when do we ever have enough notice, who’s in?”

Looking around the room, there were a handful of nods, each looking to see who else was going to go. You looked towards Nat again to see if she was planning on attending, only to find her already staring at you.

“So Y/L/N, up for a wedding?”

“It would be a nice change of pace. Are you going?”

“Only if you are” You blushed slightly at the response.

“Better get your nicest dress on Romanoff.” You winked, her turn to blush and focus back on what the rest of the group was saying.

“It’s probably easy if I list couples first on the RSVP and then the singles.” Tony took a glance around the table, mentally taking note of those who had shown signs of agreement. “So there’ll be Wanda and Vision, Legolas and his wife, Romanoff and Y/L/N, Thor and Jane-” You felt your face morph into one of confusion.

“Woah woah, Tony, back up, what did you say?”

“Thor and Jane, they’re-”

“Before that.”

“I’ve said this before Y/N, Legolas isn’t actually real. I meant Clint.”

“Very funny.” He held a proud smirk. “Romanoff and I aren’t a couple”

You wish.

“That’s not what Rogers said when he saw you both cuddling up on the sofa last night.” Before you had a chance to look in Steve’s direction, you could practically feel the daggers Nat was sending him, making his face cringe slightly and his back straighten.

“That’s what Rogers said, is it?” She spoke, tilting her head in question. You knew she was partly joking, but you’d still decided to intervene before anyone lost any limbs.

“My head fell onto her shoulder when I dozed off during our movie. It wasn’t ‘cuddling’ , thank you very much.” You laughed, internally wishing that Steve’s words were true.

“See? So cut it out.” Steve put his hands up in surrender, despite having a cheeky grin on his face.

“Okay okay. Fine!” The billionaire said, writing something on the envelope. “I’ll just put ‘couple pending’” He muttered

“Stark!”

__________________________

You and the girls had just come back from dress shopping, all three of you had spent the whole day in and out of different shops, hours in dressing rooms and your voices were almost completely gone with how often you were telling each other, ‘that looks stunning’ ‘that’s the one!’ and the most common one by the end of the trip; ‘please just pick a dress so we can go home and nap’. That one was from our very own black widow, her patience wore a little thin after 8 hours of staring at dresses.

You had gone through all the colours and styles while you were out, ranging from classy jumpsuits to figure hugging dresses that felt like a second skin. Wanda and Natasha had chosen their dresses and were eager to find you one, and what a mission that was.

“I promise you, we’re not going home until we find this dress, okay?”

“Wanda’s right. We’ll stay out until they all shut if we have to. But, let’s make that a last resort.” Natasha eyed you both warily.

You’d been walking around for hours now. Each dress you tried on had potential, but there was always something that didn’t sit right with you. It was either too baggy, too tight, the cut wasn’t appealing, the length wasn’t ideal, it was starting to feel hopeless. You’d even suggested just going in your pyjamas, but Wanda’s death glare had made it clear that wasn’t an option.

You and Natasha were both dragging your feet, Wanda still having a slight spring in her step as you walked into the final shop and picking up a couple of dresses before then going into the dressing room to try them on.

The first two were okay, but you weren’t a fan. Then there was the third one. The third one was a gorgeous Y/F/C dress that fell just past your knees, it had thin straps and the skirt was simple and loose so that when you spun around in it, you felt like a princess. You looked in the mirror and you adored the reflection, you still wanted the others opinions though, though you didn’t doubt that they’d feel the same way.

Pulling the curtain back and gaining their attention from where they were looking elsewhere, you smiled when you saw their reaction, more specifically, Natasha’s. Wanda was complimentary, walking up and feeling the fabric, gushing about how beautiful you looked, but you barely heard it, too focused on the redhead sitting in front of you, her eyes glazed over and her jaw almost on the floor, completely zoned out on you.

“This dress is it, Y/N, you have to get it! Nat? What do you think?” Her head shook, bringing herself back to reality and briefly meeting your eyes, only to quickly dart between You, Wanda and your dress in an attempt to compose herself.

“Yeah, I mean, wow, you look- wow.” Her hands flailed in your direction. You’d knocked the assassin speechless. Wanda rolled her eyes playfully at the interaction. She’d known about you and Nat’s feelings for each other for a month or two now, silently cursing the both of you when there was an opportunity to confess, yet never did. It was obvious to the rest of the team, why were neither of you picking up on it?

Keeping quiet, she ushered you back into the changing room, much to Natasha’s relief, both because she wanted to head back to the compound and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would’ve lasted seeing you standing there looking literally flawless. She always thought you looked amazing, but there was something about the way you looked in front of her just then that made her brain feel like a haze.

It was pretty safe to say,

You bought the dress.

Collapsing on your bed, dropping your bags to the side and letting out a loud sigh, you heard your door shut and someone fall into the chair by the window. You already knew who it was.

“I’m exhausted.” The woman groaned, rubbing her hands up and down her face to attempt to physically remove the tiredness from her body.

“Sorry for dragging you around for so long, I just-”

“Hey, no, don’t apologise for that. We all said we’d find the perfect dress, and it was worth the wait.” Heat rose to your cheeks at her words.

“You really think I looked good?”

Natasha could sense your underlying tone of doubt, unsure as to why you would doubt her opinion, she’d always been honest with you. Nonetheless, she heaved herself out of her seat and made her way to the end of the bed, kneeling down so that your now sat up figure could look down into her eyes, with her hands on each side of your face to focus you on her and her alone.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, okay? You looked incredible and I'm sure you’ll look even better at this wedding on Saturday, if that’s even possible.” You let out a small chuckle at her words as a smile made its way onto her face.

“You’ll be the prettiest one there.”

“Better not tell the Bride you said that, Nat.” She laughed, looking down for only a few seconds before looking at you again.

“We’ll make that our secret.” You nodded in silent agreement, grateful that she’d made you feel so reassured.

“Thank you, Tasha.”

“You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.” She replied.

You were so lost in her words, you hadn’t realised how close her face had gotten to yours, and how her eyes swapped between your eyes and your lips. You didn’t realise how she subconsciously had kept edging towards you, hands trembling a little with every inch closer she gets.

She wanted to kiss you. Every nerve in her body was almost electrified with the temptation to just move her lips over yours and become one. Her pulse raced, almost to prepare her for doing so. Which is why she wanted to kick herself with a pair of her highest heels when she uttered her next words.

“We should get some sleep.”

You broke out of your trance, jumping backwards slightly when noticing limited space between you both. You awkwardly coughed as she stood, heading back over to her chair to grab her bag and return to her room.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Big today, rest is probably a good idea.” You both nodded, she was already one foot out of the door when she gave you a small ‘goodnight’ and left, not waiting to hear you say it back.

Just like you hadn’t realised her actions early, you were oblivious to her hitting her head off of the wall in the corridor just outside of your room, wondering why she’d backed away. Where was Thor’s hammer when you needed to knock some sense into yourself? She thought before dragging herself back to her room where she would fall asleep, unable to get you out of her head.

_________________________

“Right! Headcount before we go in! And I want us all on our best behaviour Avengers, this is a wedding” Steve had completely lost you after ‘Headcount’. Not only are most of you fully grown adults, sorry Peter, but he seems to be oblivious to the fact that some of you were wearing high heels, and patience in high heels had an expiry date.

“Y’know, if he doesn’t let us in soon, I’m not afraid to threaten him with his own shield.” You heard a whisper just behind your ear, smirking at the comment.

“I’ll join you.” You answered, Bruce and Clint sharing a knowing look from afar when watching the two of you have your own quiet conversation, though short lived when they saw Natasha’s head move in their direction, their gaze coming to a halt so as to avoid any conflict with their teammate.

You guys could try to hide it all you want, but your entire team knows better than that, they just had to wait it out until you both finally admitted it to the other.

______________________

You and the Avenger’s were currently sitting at a guest table, now in the reception part of the evening. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride wore a crisp white ball gown with her makeup and hair done to perfection, the groom looking like a prince in his black tux and a look full of adoration towards his wife to be painted on his face.

Their looks weren’t the best part of it though. The clothes and the accessories were lovely, of course. But all you could focus on was the love shared between them as they shared their vows telling the other how they believed they were each other's soulmate, and that they promised to always be the other’s rock. You’d found yourself with tears in your eyes, barely able to appreciate the sight with how blurry your vision was now. They finally fell when they said their ‘I do’s’, feeling only happiness for the newlyweds.

Although marriage hadn’t been something you always thought about, you’d hoped that you would meet your special someone and settle down, retire from the missions, the battles, the superhero lifestyle and just be with your soulmate for the rest of your days.

Despite not being a couple, whenever you thought of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your time with, there was only one person that came to mind. And she stood right in front of you throughout the ceremony, comforting a sobbing demi-god while he was also trying to explain to Vision why he was in floods of tears.

Music filled the room, upbeat, but calm enough for the couples on the dancefloor to sway gently to the beat, soft lights occasionally shining on them as they danced, the bride and groom being one of them. You smiled gently at the sight, feeling dreadfully single with all of the love in the room, but grateful that you could see so many people look so content and in love with their significant other.

An elbow could suddenly be felt in your side, pulling you from your thoughts to instead be met with gorgeous green eyes and a bold red smirk.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She leaned in, curiosity clouding her mind.

“Nothing much up there really.” You glanced back at the dance floor quickly. “I’m just happy to see everyone so happy.”

Natasha followed your direction of where you were looking, an idea soon popped into her head. She was going to ask you to dance.

Her mouth opened to speak, but as if it was done on purpose, a ‘screech’ echoed in the ballroom, catching everyone’s attention, including taking yours away from hers.

“We’re taking a break from dancing for a minute folks, It’s time for the bride to throw the bouquet!” He announced, soon followed by shrieks and the sound of feet padding on the wooden floor, women all gathering in a small bunch, huddled together as if their lives depended on it as the men all returned to their seats, shaking their heads at the commotion.

Not really wanting to take part, you turned back around again.

“Sorry Nat, what were you-”

“Y/N!” Your head fell as you were interrupted by a very excited Maximoff.

“Y/N! C’mon! We need to do the bouquet toss!” She started to pull you up, refusing to listen to any excuse you could possibly conjure up to avoid having to take part.

Giving the team a desperate look, hoping someone will help you escape, you’re instead met with encouraging and amused faces, including Natasha’s a clear indication that not a single person was going to help you. Traitor’s.

With a half serious eye roll, you quickly grabbed your glass of champagne and kicked off your heels, heading towards the group of screaming women basically crawling on top of one another when the bride was barely up on the ‘stage’ yet. You let Wanda wander off into the group but remained towards the back, sipping from your glass and sending the occasional sneaky glare towards your table.

“You guys ready?” The bride yelled, only to be met with more screams and a faint chorus of ‘yes’ heard among it as they all threw their hands higher. Wanda saw you were just stood there, and subtly used her powers to raise your hand, earning loud laughs and cheers from the Avengers, taking great joy in the scene unfolding in front of them.

“Okay! Three...Two..”

You kept your arm up, pretending to be enthusiastic about the toss, when you realistically didn’t really expect much from these kinds of traditions. What you definitely hadn’t expected, was for your figure to stumble backwards as you suddenly felt petals and stems in your palm, a faint feeling of silk brushing against your thumb as your fingers wrapped around the item.

You almost spat out your champagne, eyes widening in shock as you looked to see the arrangement of flowers in your grip, looking up to see women both disheartened and elated at your catch. How the hell had you managed that? You were literally the farthest person away, and on your own! You must’ve been set up. Okay, a bit of a stretch, but still!

“WOOO, Y/L/N IS GETTING MARRIED!”

“WHO’S THE LUCKY SOMEONE Y/N?”

“Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS, Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS.”

The bride noticeably laughed at your friend’s cheers, she hadn’t meant to throw it that far back, her arm just kinda went full force, but seeing the reaction it caused, she didn’t regret it. She didn’t even regret it when she saw the look of embarrassment on your face, as it was soon replaced with a contagious beam as you walked towards them again, a very proud Wanda in tow,

“Guys! Guys! I’m not even in a relationship! I highly doubt i’m the next woman in this room to get married.” You joked

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure.” Sam laughed “Romanoff, you got an engagement ring handy?” He yelped as a peanut from the centre of the table was thrown at him, and of course with being a trained assassin, Nat had hit him right in the centre of his forehead, earning a dramatic noise of pain to leave his mouth.

These guys will be the death of you.

__________________

After some teasing, the room had filled once again with happy couples dancing, now including some you were very familiar with, one being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and his CEO wife, and another being an Asgardian with his Midgardian girlfriend, both gently moving side to side in time with the music.

Letting out a content sigh, you were met once again with the flowers, however, this time, they weren’t on the table, but were held by a gorgeous woman in a flawless navy dress.

“So, I know we aren’t a couple, but, would the future bride like to dance?” She asked, you let out a content sigh, pretending to think it over for a minute.

“Y’know what, I would, thank you for your kind offer.” You took the hand she’d held out for you and led you to the dance floor. While her hands went to your waist, gently tugging you closer, your arms went around her neck, hands interlocking behind her as you, like the others you’d admired all even, swayed.

You’re unsure when it happened, much like a time before, but your head had made its way onto your dance partner's shoulder, your body following suit as it left no room between the two of you, though you weren’t complaining. Neither was the fellow Avenger.

It was peaceful for a period of time, the only sound being the slow music and a quiet chatter of people across the floor. It wasn’t long before you heard the red head above you whisper in your ear once again.

“You really do look amazing tonight, Y/N.” You raised your head so it was directly opposite hers, sending her an appreciative gaze.

“That future fiance of yours is lucky.” She winked.

“Hilarious” You scoffed, fully aware of her humorous tone.

“I know, sometimes I amaze even myself with my jokes.”

“Well, it really is funny, because I honestly don’t see myself getting married anytime soon.” Nat’s eyebrows raised in what could almost be described as confusion.

“And why is that? Do you not want to get married?” Her hands started grazing up and down your waist, like she was comforting you, but really she was bracing herself for what was incoming.

“No, no it’s not that. I just..”

“Just?”

“I don’t think the person i’m interested in, is necessarily interested in me.” Her heart dropped. So you did have someone of interest. She pushed the sinking feeling to the side quickly so that she could respond.

“Right, and why is that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them make a move. I thought it’d be obvious. I think it has been to some others.” Your eyes wandered, lingering for longer than what was probably appropriate, on Natasha’s plump lips, wondering if you’d ever get to experience what it’d be like to feel them on yours.

This time, Natasha didn’t miss it. She would’ve blamed it on alcohol, saying that she must’ve just imagined it, but she had only consumed a few drops all evening, being too entranced by you didn’t leave much room for hydration. She hadn’t been more thankful, because it made a light bulb go off in her head as the pieces came together in her head of who you were referring to. She didn’t make a move the other night. It was obvious to the team. How could she have been so blind?

You didn’t see it coming, even when your chin was held in her grasp and you saw her face leaning in towards yours, the reality only hitting you when you finally felt what you’d been wanting to feel for the last months, right now. Your surroundings had just disappeared, the only thing that was running through your head, was the way her lips were moving against yours, and the way her lips tasted faintly of vanilla, and how she smelled like her floral perfume she wore for special occasions.

Whooping and cheering brought you both back from your bubble with just the two of you, your head falling just below her chin, her hand stroking your back as you could feel her chuckle bubbling where your head lay. Well, hid. Her arms had muffled their comments, but you had an idea of what they were, probably a mixture of ‘finally!’, ‘i knew it!’ and you’re almost certain you heard a ‘You owe me 20 bucks.’, that one making you shake your head.

Remaining in your hiding spot, that wasn’t very well hidden, but was keeping your bright red face to yourself, a pair of familiar lips lingered right beside your head.

“So, about that bouquet..”

You weren’t getting married, but by the end of the night, you definitely didn’t feel so dreadfully single as you had earlier.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

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