#if i'm going anywhere

[buckttommy]

I will be on tumblr until there is an Error 404 message in place of my dash they will have to physically remove me from the premises like someone's drunk aunt at a party idc

#jack.txt #tumblr i love you i'm not going anywhere

[spinfader]

Every transition timeline is amazing because everyone looks 100% healthier or happier after transitioning.

I've seen so many happy trans people today and I want to see more of us in the future.

Edit: First pic is the day right before I started HRT. Second was last week. Time flies.

#transisbeautiful #I'm not going anywhere

[ben-learns-smth]

I always bring a book just in case but today I forgot and now I'm bored on the train, so

reblogs appreciated!

#for me it's book and earphones #actually maybe it's earphones bc if I'm not going anywhere else i only sometimes take a book to work with me #polls #mine #knife gang

[cinna-bunnie]

was drunk at my friend's place yesterday and her bf was given some throwing knives, played around for a bit and i still got it 🧐 that was my last push to get back into knife throwing, haven't been into it since i was 17/18 lol. i ordered these ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

edit: if ur here from my top posts you can see me throw them here!

#throwing knives is so fun... #i do the no spin technique and he was tryna see if i was as accurate by having me move back and he was like ur scary 💀 #“you're so accurate and u don't have to calculate the distance for the spin to make it stick‚ u can just go straight for it frm anywhere” #i sure can buddy. I'm gonna get even better at it thanks 👍🏾 #briefly considered a foot long throwing spike but feel like i cannot be given that kind of destructive power #i am going to obliterate something that is an outdoors toy 💀 #i can make it stick most of the time but we drew little targets and pictures on a board and i could hit the smaller ones w mixed results #i wanna hit bullseye 🎯 #my favorite flexes from last night were the times where Id throw the second knife in the same spot as the first n knock the old one down 😈

[areyoualexander]

my tumblr isn't even a blog, it's just a hideous amalgamation of all my hyperfixations from the last decade.

#and I am not ashamed #it's beautiful and probably not good for my mental health but #I'm not going anywhere #aesthetic #pastel #lyrics #taylor swift #midnights #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #mac miller #the 1975 #soft grunge #pop punk #my blog is a mess #but I wouldn't have it any other way #music #heartstopper #mayday parade #all time low #paramore #controversial times were had in my tags #but they were fun times #adhd problems #adhd #posted: 2022

[probablyhuntersmom]

"Wolves are actually great parents!"

Twitter link: here

Disclaimer (since my last set of edits got reposted and spread across Twitter and Tiktok): These aren't leaks! Drawn, photoedited, and coloured in Paint Tool SAI 2 :B

#guys if you see these reposted anywhere: bug those people like the Fire Bees that fought Lilith xD #toh hunter #camila noceda #gus porter #luz noceda #the owl house #hunter noceda #toh stringbean #toh emmiline #toh flapjack #toh edits #loz's art #loz's edits #I want my Sad Boy and everyone to find joy again #this whole week I've been pretty down about the show ending soon tbh. I'm going to keep making stuff like this in the many months ahead #1k #2k

[daily-odile]

exhaustion

#set post loops odile looping au but feel free to apply anywhere #odile loops au #isat #isat odile #in stars and time #isat mirabelle #isat spoilers #thinking like. odile overexhausting herself; because she no longer knows how much the human body can take before collapsing #because wishcraft allowed her to function without sleep for hundreds of loops #made while i was super sleepy at work... projecting my exhaustion #day 50 #ok yeah nevermind i keep missing days. gonna go through asks whenever i'm ready for it #does odile putting her hair down post loops teal's design? well I'm attributing it to her anyways

[hamartia-grander]

Wasn't crying until he said that :/

#serennedy #devastating #Leon: don't call me Sancho I'm not your squire >:( #Leon when Luis dies: My Knight⚔️in shining armour😔I would have followed you anywhere🥰you were so brave👑so strong😓rest in power💪❤️ #amazing development everyone you can all go home now #serrenedy #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #re4 #re4 remake #re4r #re #resident evil #resident evil memes #re memes

[perths]

MILE PHAKPHUM as KINN & APO NATTAWIN as PORSCHE KINNPORSCHE: THE SERIES (2022)

#missing them so bad rn #this is my 3rd attempt at posting a gifset i'm going to cry if it doesn't show up anywhere #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #mileapo #kpedit #kinnporscheedit #kpts #kinnporschesource #kinnporschedaily #asiandramaedit #asiandramasource #thaidrama #asianlgbtqdramas #thai bl #boyslovesource #gif

[lastoneout]

able-bodied people will act like getting a mobility aid must be some tragic expirience where you resign yourself to being burdened by your disability forever meanwhile I'm over here counting down the days until my custom made knee braces come in like a kid waiting for Christmas absolutely giddy thinking about all the things I'm gonna be able to do once my joints have the support they need

#two weeks is such a long time!! #I want them nooooooooowwwwww #I wanna go on walks again!!!!! #and be able to go to shopping!!! #or anywhere!! #I wanna be able to stand long enough to do the dishes and cook again!!!!!! #THEY LET ME PICK THE COLOR THEY'RE GONNA BE RED!!! #I'M SO EXCITED!!! #actually disabled #living that hEDS life #my joints are so fuckin' wobbly man

[ineed-to-sleep]

Commission for @captastra of Gale and Everlith ! ✌🏻💕

#bg3 #tav #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #commissions #sleepyscribble #q #last commissión of the month babey #now I go into vacation mode 😎 which is just like normal mode except I'm not working #literally I'm not going anywhere. fbnfkfkdmmd #but I AM going to relax. 😌 or try to at least

[kuravix]

Is it possible to mourn something that still exists and hasn't been taken away?

#sanji #one piece live action #one piece #silly art tag #my art #it's not like manga sanji's eyebrows are going anywhere #and the manga will always be more precious to me than the live action #but i'm uPSET THEY TOOK THEM

[naffeclipse]

What if Eclipse from AP was a naga? And this took place in the deep jungle of the amazon, where photographer y/n is trying to take pictures of the wildlife?

I'm vibrating at the speed of sound over this ask while also nudging my naga au

Naga Eclipse from AP would have the tail of a Green Anaconda, with an olive green scaly color dotted with black, framed by burning-like flares of orange along the length of his slithery body. He's also decorated with orange-yellow striping on either side of his long, slipper form. His upper half is scaley with a lithe deadliness to his musculature and decorated by frills surrounding his head with brighter orange-yellow colors, almost hypnotic in their gradient hues. One eye is deep emerald green, and one is midnight blue.

Lucky you—you're out on a once-in-a-lifetime expedition to explore a jungle closed off to the public, funded by Fazco, and occupied by two researchers who will be your bunkmates for the next few weeks. You're itching to take photos of the large river, including swamps, marshes and streams, and whatever wildlife is out there.

The few locals you did meet before you left to hike the rest of the way to what would be your new, isolated home warned you of a dangerous snake—a large, mythical beast. You take note of the local folklore. You understand the truth is hidden in there somewhere, and you are well aware of the dangers and diseases you could be met with in such a harsh environment, but you're determined.

It doesn't take long for you to feel eyes watching you when you first venture out by yourself. You take beautiful pictures of freshwater fish, big and beautiful, unlike any you have ever seen. Of course, you have hundreds of snapshots of the local flora, the trees, the floating meadows, the thick vines that drape each branch and hang thickly about the ground. You almost forget that you eerily don't feel alone.

But you swear something moves in the water—the ripples stop as soon as you look. The stillness is suddenly stiff, lifeless. Even the birds have stopped chirping.

You lower your camera and carefully put it away. A trickle of fear slips into your heart. You turn away from the river's edge only to be met by a low hiss and a creature, unlike anything you witnessed in your travels, spooling itself neatly out of the water, blocking your path to the base. An incredible creature with long arms and a great, serpentine tail that seems to stretch for yards and yards. You can hardly breathe in his presence—he's otherworldly with his frills and scales and fangs.

His eyes contain a mesmerizing shine as if staring into a fire as it burns or watching the ocean as it laps up against the beach, drawing your attention, demanding you don't look away. You couldn't anyway. Half-frozen, you struggle to keep from collapsing. He beckons with a sharp talon. He hisses softly for you to come closer, mouse. He wants to see you. You try to beg no without revealing how terribly you tremble. He doesn't let you go. He insists. His eyes flash with an allure. You almost step close when he murmurs that you need to be good.

But then your sense of survival kicks adrenaline into your heart, and you turn to run—

He strikes faster than your eyes can follow. Two loops of his green and orange tail surrounded you in an instant. You're dragged to the ground, your arms pinned under his mass, and the back of your head cradled by his large palm as powerful muscles squeeze you in the slightest—a gentle rebuke for thinking you could get away. You're hyper-aware of the terrifying bulk of muscles as you lie trapped in his coils. One strong twist and your eyes could pop out of your skull, and every bone protecting your heart and lungs would crumble to shards. You gasp. An urge to kick your legs and struggle erupts in your panic; a sinking feeling tells you it would only make things worse.

He coos over you, hissing and humming in an ancient song of the jungle you have no name for. When you whimper, he shushes you and strokes your cheek. He tells you how lovely you'll be. When you talk back to him, somehow finding your tongue amid your horror, you find out his name. Eclipse. He moves you more upright, resting you on his tail so you're not petrified by how vulnerable you feel lying down, but he never loosens his scaly bindings. He hovers over you. You gaze into his stunning frills of yellow-orange and wonder how a being like him came to exist. He studies you as you study him. He grins at how you shiver when he traces your collarbone with a sharp fingertip.

You remind yourself that you can still breathe. He hasn't crushed you—yet—but you don't like how wide his smile is. Sometimes, his jaw stretches a little too long as if dislocating from his skull, ready to devour you. His eyes gleam with a ravenousness as scales twist around you, holding you close enough to smell the slick green water he had been in and deep musk.

He tells you that he'll see you again very soon—away from other humans, lest you bring him a fine gift for a meal. You can only flex your fingers, silently pleading in your heart that he won't unhook his jaw and eat you alive.

Then, he unravels himself from your limbs. But before he lets you go entirely, he leans in close, his serpentine tongue flickering close to your neck and by your hair, tasting the air around you as you muster all your strength to not scream. He inhales deeply, pleased, before he murmurs, "Sweet mouse. You are mine. Say it."

You don't understand, but you echo his command, and when he taps your chin once in what might have been a loving gesture, you force your jelly legs to solidify before you run and run, all the way back to base. You slam the door to your room behind you. You touch your ribs, your arms, still caught in the heavy sensation of his loops as if he were upon you right now.

The stories are true—there is a giant snake in this jungle, and he wants you. You're afraid to discover if Eclipse's intrigue with you is only an exotic way to satisfy his hunger.

#i'm not normal about nagas #this is great because in the naga au with sun and moon #eclipse isn't a naga so this gives me my fix of naga eclipse #just augh #love these monsters #anyways he's gonna squeeze you and love you and you are just so lucky he finds you adorable he could just eat you up (not really but ya kno #he has plans for lovely little you #he's going to show you so many cool creatures like pink river dolphins and big big BIG floating meadows and the best brightest birds! #he's also gonna try to get you to eat vermits and promise that he'll protect you when you get sluggish after eating #and you have to explain that your metabolism is very different from his but then you get to see him sluggish and sleepy after he eats #(whoops that means extra long cuddles for you and boy does he like to take long naps and wrap you up tight so you don't go anywhere) #apex polarity #<<< just tagging for the same characterization of Orclipse and photographer y/n #but i am calling this: #blackwater lure #naga!eclipse #photographer!reader #naff writing #the serpent den

[originalaccountname]

Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is [...] “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. [...] “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.”

Kafka Asagiri, for the BSD exhibition

On Mori and regret.

This man acts based on his perceived "optimal solution". It means relying on cold logic, detached from (his own and others') emotions. In that way, he fits right in as one of the smart characters of BSD, contrasting for example Dazai's way of working with/around people's feelings, and Fyodor's way of manipulating and twisting those feelings into monsters.

Mori remains cold, logical, distant, efficient. It meant disregarding Yosano's and the soldiers' deteriorating mental health during the war because the concept of an army that cannot be wiped out was too good. It meant following Natsume's plan and taking the old boss' place himself to fix Yokohama's underground and protect the city and its people. It also meant disposing of Mimic by sacrificing Oda in order to get the special ability business permit, despite (and perhaps because of) Dazai's attachment to the man.

The thing is, humans are not logical creatures, and will inevitably encounter conflicting emotions.

(does this look like the face of a man without regrets to you?)

Mori in Dark Era tried to pass on to Dazai his practice of putting aside his own feelings for the sake of choosing the most efficient solution that will benefit the group. It backfired spectacularly, so much so even, that Mori regrets it to this day.

For the BSD exhibition, Asagiri wrote some individual character commentaries, all very interesting insights into their characters and the writing intentions. For Mori, here's what he wrote:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution” Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting] Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”. (By the way, it goes without saying that Dazai is inducing Mori’s thoughts by words that will make him regret the past. It is to make him decide to form an “alliance”.) source and translation: Popopretty

(notice the inclusion of Hirotsu in this scene. Remember that later, Hirotsu suggests that Dazai knows why Mori did what he did to overthrow the old boss, which, in my opinion, is both a proof of Dazai's support in Mori's goal, and a reminder to uphold it.)

One of my favourite parts of the Dark Era light novel is a small scene during the epilogue that was not adapted into the anime. This is two weeks after Dazai defected:

To quote Asagiri again, "Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings." Mori is conflicted about the outcome of the Mimic incident. He holds in his hands the Silver Oracle he himself gave to Oda, and reflects on its purpose: to "help the man mentioned above without hesitation in the face of any and all trials". Didn't he fail to do just that with Oda? Didn't he set him up and sent him to his doom? Didn't he abandon him to his trial?

But he rationalizes the events by saying he got the permit they so badly needed. No matter if he sacrificed one of his men. No matter if he drove Dazai away. He accomplished his priceless goal. It was a total success.

And yet, he poorly folds a paper airplane with the very Silver Oracle he gave Oda, throws it, watches it crash immediately, and mourns the loss of his right-hand man, without ever moving on.

But we have a direct example of Mori expressing regret.

The perception that Mori in BEAST is a completely different character than Mori is in canon, when that perception doesn't extend to any other character from that universe, rubs me the wrong way. The characters in BEAST are very similar to their canon selves, with some core traits getting a new twist. They are all one or two major life changes away from becoming these versions of themselves. As far as we know, Mori's only life-altering event was being forcefully removed from the Port Mafia by Dazai, and secretly put in charge of Atsushi's old orphanage.

Mori unambiguously made that orphanage a better place, as stated by Atsushi himself. BEAST!Mori is a lot softer, vulnerable and honest. That Mori offers to be a father to Atsushi while he heals. He also expresses regret in not being able to help Dazai when he was in his care.

I think it's very interesting, especially when knowing that Asagiri wrote both BEAST and Fifteen at the same time for the Dead Apple movie, because in Fifteen we have this:

The beginning of the first chapter of Fifteen is a gold mine. It is narrated from Mori's point of view, the man of logic and calculations, and yet it is full of doubt. He is alone and struggling to fix everything with so many people against him. But, throughout this scene about grasping at the Port Mafia's power, there is also this secondary thought being woven in, of Mori having started to actually care for Dazai.

The teenager is scary to him, smart enough to be a threat should he decide to be done with all this and turn against him, and yet, he immediately (and with a hint of sadness) finds that Dazai reminds him of himself. This lonely, lonely man found a kindred spirit, bright enough to grasp any situation in seconds and prone to using an uncomfortable obsession to divert and keep you guessing his true intentions. Mori entered Mentor Mode™ then. He taught Dazai his ways, he shared his struggles and thought process, he fought tooth and nail to keep him alive.

So when he asked Dazai why he wanted to die, it was with the concern of someone who has started to care. It was with the mind of someone who is trying to prevent the worst by fixing the problem at its source.

(translation: Reneray)

But it's also that self-projection/ability to relate that made him drive Dazai away, when he pushed too hard and forced Dazai to adhere to his optimal solution philosophy. Because Dazai cannot separate himself from his attachments, could not ignore his emotions like Mori does, and chose Oda over Mori's logic. From Dazai's point of view, that was betrayal. Mori and him were accomplices!

Dazai planted the idea that Mori was afraid of him taking over as boss, and Mori seems to agree with that thought (would it be because he feared for his life, or for Dazai's ability to replace him?) Yet, for a man afraid of his closest subordinate backstabbing him, he seems to be hanging on quite hard to the possibility of Dazai coming back, leaving his seat open to this day, inviting him back twice in the same arc, and...

(yeah I used this picture at the start too. "I hAvE nO rEgReTs" he says)

Mori may try to convince himself he feels no regrets and no guilt over his own actions by weighting gains and losses objectively, but he still hurts and has a very hard time moving on. He's human despite his best efforts, prone to mistakes and doubts. He's lonely and wishes to impart his knowledge onto others. His cold logic has both helped him in fixing the city, and alienated him from some of the people he most cared about.

In a similar vein, should the ADA employee transfer be of topic again, and should Mori clash with Yosano again, I wish we get to see some similar conflicting emotions in Mori between the usefulness of Yosano's ability, and Yosano herself as a person. The war was 14 years ago, that's a long time, and I want to believe that counts for something.

#there carrot i finished it 4 u #i can't be normal about mori and i've been having Many Thoughts about him #i needed that out of my system and lost the plot twice so uh. I hope this reads somewhat fine. #i could have started on twelve different tangents i have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT MORI #i love mori i'm not even going to excuse or justify myself read the post #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd meta #bsd mori #bsd mori ougai #bsd beast #bsd beast spoilers #apparently i talk sometimes #what does it mean about him trying to get yosano back all these years later now that she's a grown-up with the means to oppose him? #is it only about her ability? or did 14 years of hardships made him reflect in any way at all? #food for thought (while we wait to see if that plotline gets cancelled or goes anywhere interesting)

[xoxoemynn]

Hello OFMD crew! I love you and I'm happy you're here. 💕

#ofmd #our flag means death #I know it's been a rough few months with a lot of ups and downs #and just perusing the timelines I'm seeing a lot of people really feeling the Big Sads again #which is so so valid and I think everyone should really feel whatever they need to feel right now #but also know fandom isn't going anywhere #the show may be taking a breather but our heart is still beating strong 💗 #sending so much love and hugs #I am grateful to all of you and my inbox/DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to

[insomnya777]

boat boys coded

#....does this make sense #it does in my head #lovers lane. dead end. #aka double life #they know it won't lead anywhere #in the long run it will only end in pain #whether it ends in a screaming match or just one too many empty promises — it doesn't matter. it still ends either way #and that's the part that really counts #but they don't do anything about it because what is there to do? your only option is to live the story #even if you know how it ends #so they go along with it #what other choice do they have? #they fall in love and they kiss and they kill and they do it all together. they follow lovers lane all the way until the end of the road #until they can't deny it anymore #their time is up #double life is over #they're running on borrowed time - delaying the inevitable #it's a dead end #and it was always going to be #and somewhere in between they may have convinced themselves that it might be different #(it's not) #(it never is) #IS THIS ANYTHING GUYS... #maybe i'm just insane #nya talks #hermitblr #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #boat boys #smalletho