#in this house we take canon's angst and make it hurt a million times worse

[therighthandofvengeance]

#babylon 5 #b5 #john sheridan #delenn of mir #john x delenn #for once it's not an incorrect quote #b5 moodboard #moodboard monday #my standard angst with that balcony quote created this entire moodboard #so many of these photos are grainy and I'm sorry about that #I promise I can make more than John x Delenn moodboards #and I will if you request it in my inbox #I will also make more (specific) John x Delenn moodboards with a request too #should I do John x Delenn in every color? starting with the rainbow? #i’m so tempted #in this house we take canon's angst and make it hurt a million times worse

[prismatica-the-strange]

Absolute Corruption | A Bittersweet Reunion | I've Got No Excuse

Warnings: 18+ Show Typical Violence, blood, death, Mentions of suicide, ment. of attempted suicide, illness, drugs, angst

Ada has that victorian boy with tuberculosis swag about her.

So here's where things get a little funky. There are canon deviations and they will only get worse as the story goes on. I do not subscribe to the idea that seasons 3 & 4 exist, they will be removed entirely and a better story will take their place.

Word Count: 4k

Prev: Too Close to You

Next: Nothing More, Nothing Less

(Song Link) (Picrew Link)

If she's honest, she doesn't want to be here.

Playing dress up with her uncle.

But we've been here already.

Already been worn down by petty manipulations.

Already lamented her arrival in the Westworld park.

That was nearly seven years ago, and here she is again, this time at the behest of her aunt.

"You never leave the house anymore, so I pulled some strings and got you a small gig at that park you used to love. They're unveiling a new story or something."

She wished she was strong enough to strangle her, but, and she would never admit it, the mere thought of even getting a glimpse of him again makes her soft.

She groans through a laugh, the irony behind the circumstances of how she'd found herself in the underground labyrinth of service tunnels and workshops not lost on her.

Adeline Rooney had long since fallen in love with a robot. And half a decade after the last time she'd seen him, he still gave her butterflies.

After a wonderful set of, somewhat mournful songs, on her part, the gala had erupted into total chaos when one of the hosts shot and killed the park's founder, Robert Ford.

Somehow, and she's still not exactly sure how, she'd managed to get away. Maybe the hosts thought she wasn't worth the lead, or maybe they didn't even notice her at all. She'd gotten good at being invisible.

It's all a blur, the blood, the death, her uncle, getting down into the below area. All she knows is she hurts, but that's not anything new.

"You're supposed to love Isa-uh-Adeline!"

She perks up at the sound of her name being shouted down the hall.

"Not so much anymore."

She freezes at that voice.

"No! You're fucking programmed to have no love beyond Adeline!" The first voice shouts, "Adeline is written into the goddamn laws of your being!"

There's a thud and words too quiet for her to hear.

"Careful darling, he's fragile."

"When I awoke in the place where you play god, I realized Adeline was a lie." His voice is just loud enough to reach her, "Just words in my-"

"You know I can hear you talking about me," She calls out.

It's quiet for a moment, then there's a shuffling.

"No fucking way," A man comes into view past the crate next to her, wearing an old shirt and pants with suspenders, "You're supposed to be dead."

"Thanks, Huck Finn."

Hector and another woman walk close enough to see, and he looks like he's seeing a ghost.

You're dead. You're real. Are you real? You can't be real.

A million questions start to form in his head but the words that come out are, "You look like shit."

She winces at the bark of laughter that leaves her, looking at him through rose-tinted lenses, "Well, I'm glad to see you at least remember me, pretty boy."

He's right though, she does look like shit. Gaunt, pale, sunken eyes. Sickly.

She's looked like that for a while now, but it's as bad as it's ever been.

His face is hardened, jaw set, a look she's never been on the receiving end of. She doesn't enjoy it.

"So how does this work?" She asks, "You shoot me like the other guests, or am I left to wither away on my own time?"

Without a second thought, Hector pulls his pistol on her.

She doesn't seem frightened. In fact, she smiles softly up at him, "How poetic."

"We should bring her with us," The other man says, and all three of them look at him, "She has more experience in the park than I do."

Hector looks to the woman, putting his gun away when she nods.

The other man motions for her to get up, going so far as to offer a hand.

Instead, she reaches behind her and Hector goes back to gripping his gun.

"Calm down, Hero," She says, pulling something from partway behind the crate, "I'm not very mobile without these."

His eyes betray him at the pain-filled groan she makes as she pulls herself up on the crutches.

She looks smaller than he remembers. She looks like she would break at the faintest touch. So he doesn't touch her, walking ahead of the group.

"I'm Lee, Sizemore," The other man introduces himself as they walk, "Head of Narrative here."

She looks him over and scoffs, "Sure."

"Y'know, Addy, I've been interested in you for-" He stops when he notices she had a few steps back.

"Call me Addy again and I'll slit your fucking throat," She scowls.

She storms past him as best she can, knuckles alabaster white with how hard she grips her crutches.

"She's still a lie, Hector," The woman says.

Ada just rolls her eyes and taps behind her ear, tuning them out with music.

He glances back at her and it's obvious she isn't listening.

"All of it?"

"Yes, all of it. She used you for her own entertainment," She grabs his arm, "For her, it was all a game."

Memories cloud his mind, the look of her tear-stained face, the sound of her laugh, the feel of her breath on his skin. All of it.

"It doesn't feel like a lie," He looks at Maeve with pain in his eyes.

"That's because it wasn't," Lee says, stepping past Ada who is desperately trying not to hear them.

Maeve glares at him.

"What? We didn't give him those memories," He admits, "Her death, maybe. But everything else he experienced with her."

"Explain," Hector demands, "Why would you put her death in my head?"

Sizemore sighs, trying to find the words to explain his department's failures.

"Look, when you were put in rotation, your cornerstone was a woman named Isabella," He starts, "But a handful of years in, Adeline visited the park. That's when it started."

"I don't know how she did it, but that first visit changed things. When she came a second time it's like you remembered her. And then it's like you'd been waiting for her with every visit after. Like a lover that came and went as she pleased and you were always holding a candle for her."

He remembers lighting up when he saw her, falling immediately in love with her without reservation.

"She got her hooks so deep in your source code that she changed your cornerstone to loving her," Lee shakes his head, "And then, after the incident, no matter what we did, you would break your loop to go find her."

"Even some of the guests were confused. She'd played your storyline exclusively for nearly two years. When she disappeared people wondered why we got rid of her. They thought she was a host."

"We even hard reset you. Wiped you clean, and started from the ground up, and you still went looking for her," His look is almost bitter, "Eventually we rewrote the memory of that night again so you thought she died."

"That night?"

Lee glances back at Ada again, her eyes are glued to the floor, teeth clenched. Just as he opens his mouth to tell Hector what happened, gunshots echo from down the hallway.

Hector quickly ushers them behind one of the stacks of plastic crates, gun out.

An orange glow lights up the hall, and a man runs past them, screaming and on fire.

"She has a dragon," Hector breathes. He leads them back out and she sees Armistice holding a flamethrower.

"That's not from this park."

"Who's the girl?"

Ada nods with a small chuckle, "Some things just don't change."

"She's no one," Hector says.

"Ouch."

He swears she's purposely getting on his nerves.

"We've gotta run," Armistice says and they follow her to an elevator bay.

She has two techs tied up there, both of which seem familiar with the hosts guiding them.

Ada tries to stay to the side, reaching into an inner pocket of her cardigan. A gloved hand grabs her wrist before she can pull back and she looks up to meet Hector's warning look.

She slowly pulls out a small card tin with Van Gogh's Almond Blossoms embossed on it, eyebrows going up as a sign that she's obviously not that stupid.

His eyes watch her intensely as she opens it. Inside there are a few small rolls of paper and a pastel pink lighter.

"What is it?"

She puts one up to her lips.

"I dunno about you," She says through her teeth, pinching the paper between them, and lighting the other end. She takes a quick drag and holds it between her fingers, "But I don't plan on dying sober."

She puts the lighter back, closes the tin, and slides it back into her pocket.

One of the techs lets out a long breath when Armistice takes the grenade from beneath his chin and disarms it.

They untie them and get in the elevator.

"Are you smoking weed?" He asks, "I just sat with an explosive pinned to my chest for god knows how long, and you're smoking weed?"

She looks between him and the joint and shrugs, holding it out to him, "You wanna hit?"

"Sorry darling," Maeve interrupts when he reaches for it, "But we need these three sober."

"Screw that," Lee says, snatching it from her hands and taking a hit, coughing up the smoke, "What the fuck is that? It tastes like how week-old piss smells!"

"Yeah," She laughs, taking it back from him, "It really sucks."

"Ah," She takes another drag, "It works well though."

Hector glares at her when she offers it to him and she just shrugs.

There's a noticeable chill when they get topside, and they're greeted with pine trees.

It almost reminds her of home. Not the mansion her uncle kept her trapped in that, that no matter how crowded it is you still feel alone. No, it reminds her of the small house in the mountains, in the woods, with the field, and the pond, and the two apple trees out front.

The ground is uneven beneath them, and Sylvester stumbles on a root, cursing when he nearly goes down, but she seems to be at home here.

They walk for a few more hours until it's obvious that Ada is struggling.

They set up camp, and she all but collapses next to the fire. She's exhausted after spending the last twenty-something hours on her feet.

She lays on the ground, head on her arms, and falls asleep almost immediately.

She looks so adorable, cheek squished and lips parted, just like after the first time we- Hector can't keep his thoughts from her. It was all a lie.

Most of the night is uneventful. But then she starts coughing, choking on something in her sleep.

His back straightens when she sits up, worry flooding his veins against his will. The coughs get worse, wet. And eventually, she folds over her hand and hacks up whatever it is.

When she turns back there's blood dripping from her lips and chin into her open hand as she sucks in air.

"Jesus Christ," Felix looks at her in horror.

She just reaches into her cardigan pocket and pulls out a handful of Kleenex. She leans over and spits out another mouthful of blood before wiping her face clean.

"Does anyone have any water?" She croaks, looking up at her companions.

Hector tosses over a waterskin and she rinses her mouth out.

"What the hell was that?" Felix asks.

"Thanks," She hands the water back to Hector, giving him the nonchalant answer of, "It happens."

"The fuck it does not."

"It does to me."

She looks so ill when she lays back down like any life left in her had been coughed up with the blood.

It's against his better judgment, but the next day he stays close to her, it's like an instinct to stay within two steps of her.

She's slower than the day before, body still recovering from their previous trek.

When her crutch slips in a patch of loose dirt he's there to catch her. He's not as gentle as he used to be, catching under her arm to pull her back to her feet and letting go, but she's grateful all the same.

"So why did you stop coming to the park?" He asks out of nowhere, "Finally get bored of me?"

""Heh, no," She says with a small laugh, "No, my doctor's insisted."

"After what happened that last night, it wasn't safe for me to be out here."

"That last night," He repeats. No matter what he does, that memory is burned in his mind. Her convulsions and the feel of her life slipping through his fingers, "My recollection is a bit fuzzy."

"Oh, you know," She looks away and blinks back tears behind her glasses, "Just another normal day in the park until I had this bad, really bad, seizure."

"The medics here said I almost died," She wipes her nose on her shoulder, "I never did get to thank you for making sure that didn't happen."

His feet stop and he watches her walk ahead of him.

He saved her?

She was alive.

He kept her that way.

And they took that from him?

He can feel his hardened facade start to crack. The idea she hadn't wanted to leave him crumbling his resolve to hate her.

It's dark when it starts to snow, and he feels his chest warm when her face lights up. There's something so innocent about the way she smiles at the sky.

She reaches out, almost tripping over herself to catch a particularly big flake, a giggle of childlike wonder bubbling from her throat.

He's not well-versed in the cold, but the way her breath puffs from her pink nose is one of the most adorable things he's seen in years and makes the weather bearable.

"I haven't seen the snow in years," She hasn't smiled this much for just as long, "I missed it."

He can almost picture her curled up next to a window near a fireplace, wrapped in a thick blanket, watching the snowfall through frosted panes. The thought is cozy, like her.

"Yeah? Well, I'm fucking freezing," Sylvester snaps. It's not surprising. It's the wet kind of snow. The kind that soaks through your skin and freezes your bones, "We've been walking forever, where the hell are we?"

"North edge of the park, maybe three or four sectors East from the Homesteads?" Lee estimates, "We're near the Klondike narrative."

"That doesn't sound right."

"Oh," the group turns to Ada, "You know more about the park layout than I do now?"

"No, I just mean," She sighs, "If we were where you think we are that would be right, but this doesn't look like the Klondike narrative."

"What do you mean?"

"Look," Maeve points to a campfire a handful of yards away. Hector and Armistice take point, guns drawn as they approach.

"I'm pretty sure some of these trees aren't from North America."

He's about to argue when something catches his eye.

She starts to follow behind the rest of the group, an uneasy feeling washing over her.

"Maybe they're friendly," Hector jokes.

"If they aren't we'll kill them," Maeve says.

He hears Ada creep up closer behind him and glancing at her he can tell she's on edge.

No matter how long it's been, her heart still considers him her safe space. She knows the safest place to be in a fight is near him.

He takes a strange sense of pride from the fact she still comes to him for comfort.

"This feels wron-"

"We need to leave!" Sizemore yells, "We need to get the fuck out of here, right now!"

Maeve shushes him, but Ada takes another step towards her and Hector.

A man comes running at them from the woods, sword in his hand.

She shoves Maeve out of the way of his slash, crutch slipping in the snow, making her fall.

"What the hell is that?" Hector asks, stepping in front of her.

"Looks like a dead man to me," Armistice grins.

"You know the old saying about knives and gunfights?" Maeve asks, helping Ada to her feet. As soon as the words leave her lips a rope appears around her, Hector, and Armistice.

They tighten around them, making her drop Ada, and Hector to misfire.

The force of the second fall knocks something loose in her lungs and she can't hear what Maeve is saying over her own coughing.

The man replies in Japanese and sheaths his sword. He says something else, something about the 'lame one,' and one of his men moves to stab her.

"Waitwaitwaitwait!" She holds her hands up, "Uh..."

She stumbles clumsily through a sentence in Japanese, begging them not to kill her.

The man sighs, seeing at the way Hector looks at her as he struggles 'If you slow us down, you will die.'

The man above her puts his weapon away and hauls her to her feet.

They're each bound, arms behind their back.

"W-whoa, hey my body doesn't-!" She nearly bites through her lip to keep from crying out when they yank her arms back, a sickening pop coming from somewhere in her back.

Hector pulls at his own binds at the sound, but there's nothing he can do to help.

He walks slowly as they're marched toward their destination, keeping the pace from getting too fast for her as she struggles along. One particularly fumbled step nearly makes her fall, but she collides with his shoulder, trying to keep her upright.

The ronin seems to know what he's doing, jabbing at his back to speed him up, but all it does is piss him off more.

Around daybreak, Lee explains their predicament here in Shogunworld.

Ada looks like she's about to pass out and Hector steps closer to her, letting her lean on him if she needs. She takes his offer, head falling to his shoulder, a grateful noise coming from her throat.

She gasps, knees buckling when the man at the other end of her rope tugs, pulling her from him. Without her hands to catch her she hits the ground hard.

Hector spins around to spit at him, "This world will end badly, but I'll make sure your end is worse!"

He and Lee kneel down to help give her leverage as she tries to stand.

She leans against Hector again as their captors speak, breathing labored.

"Why didn't you just shoot me?" She wheezes and he's not sure if she's serious or if it was just a bad joke.

"You'll make it," He assures her, lips pressing against the top of her head, "I'll make sure of it."

By the time they make it to the village, her legs are numb and her spine is screaming. All of her nerves are on fire.

"My god," Armistice breathes, "It's us."

"Some head of Narrative you are," Ada laughs, wearied and light-headed.

"Hey! So the ribbing is the same? You try writing three hundred stories in three weeks!" Lee argues.

She doesn't even care when fighting breaks out, or that she's being used as a human meat shield, not with the way her knees are trembling beneath her.

When Hanaryo gives them the chance to escape and she's untied, she crumples to the ground.

Hector tries to help her up, but she just shakes her head, "Go. I'll be fine."

She jumps at the gunshot that echoes once they enter the building, her anxiety rising.

After a few minutes of quiet, she hears footsteps come toward her. She looks up to see Hector as he holds a hand out to her.

She takes it, but can't seem to pull herself off her knees, frustrated tears start to form in her eyes and she feels like she's about to completely lose it, "Fuck!"

He bends down and takes her in his arms, bridal carrying her inside. For a moment she feels like that eighteen-year-old girl crying on the floor of the inn at Story's End again.

She doesn't want him to let go when Maeve and Akane take her to get cleaned up.

They help her undress, sharing a look when they see the scars littering her body. They don't say anything as they help lower her into a bath, her body soaking in the warmth of the water.

"Hector seems to be falling into old habits with you," Maeve comments, now in her own tub.

Ada nods, hands shaking as she brings another joint to her lips.

"You haven't told him to do otherwise."

She knows what she's hinting at, and honestly doesn't have the mental strength or patience to deal with it.

"Why would I?" She asks, "He's a grown-ass man, he can do what he wants."

"As long as what he wants is you."

"As long as what he wants is what he wants."

"How did you get those scars?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because, darling, I need to know if I can trust you-"

"I tried to kill myself. Can we stop with the twenty questions now?" She doesn't let her answer, sinking down, submerging her head in the murky water.

Once she's deemed clean enough, Maeve helps her stand again.

Akane provides her with a dusty rose-colored kimono and as she's getting dressed Maeve comes up behind her.

"I shouldn't have pried," She says, "I apologize."

She's left alone in front of the mirror, running a comb through her damp hair. She flinches when her fingers graze the scar on her right temple, and her hand covers her eyes as she tries not to cry.

She takes a deep, shaky, breath and looks herself in the eye through the reflection, "Don't you cry. Don't you dare fucking cry, damnit!"

She takes a moment to pull the top of her hair back and tie it in a bun.

Hanaryo brings her her crutches and she's able to join the others in the main room.

Hector is so busy glaring at his Shogun doppelganger that he almost misses Ada sneak in. But once he sees her he can't stop seeing her.

It's like that first day at the Mariposa,.

"A vision," He murmurs to himself.

She sits against the wall near the sliding doors to the courtyard, as far from the center of attention as possible.

She scans the room, eyes catching his stare. She gives him a small smile, cheeks darkening.

It's too late.

It was too late the moment she smiled at him at gunpoint.

He was still so deeply in love with her it made him look stupid.

Maeve knows it too. She's known since since the same moment. That, through both their anger and pain, they were still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with each other, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Ada leans back against the wall, using it as support as they watch Sakura dance.

Her eyes keep flicking back to Hector, the way he's glaring at the man outside is making her want to climb in his lap, take his face in his hands, and kiss him until he's smiling.

She absentmindedly claps with the crowd when the dance ends, not really paying attention.

She watches as he stands, walking in Maeve and Lee's direction.

"You know who I don't trust?" He asks quietly, motioning to Musashi with his chin, "Him."

"Just say the word and I'll skin him like a rabbit."

She holds back a laugh and Maeve looks at him, shocked, "What's the matter with you?"

It's not what he wants to hear and he stands up, a look of annoyance on his face. He stands by the doorway, hands behind his back.

He's so close to her, but still out of reach.

As if he can sense her yearning, he steps closer, eyes not leaving the target of his paranoia until he's right in front of her, kneeling down.

"How are you doing? Better?"

She gives him a weak smile, hand reaching up to adjust a stray black hair that had fallen loose, "You look handsome like this."

The corners of his lips twitch upwards, her fingers tracing ghost-like down his cheek, his voice low, "I shouldn't still feel like this."

Her face falls and she pulls away.

"What's wrong, amor?"

She shakes her head, head turned down, refusing to meet his gaze.

His finger curls beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him, and the dam breaks. Fat, wet tears roll down her cheeks as her breath hitches.

As hard as she tries, she can't stop them, "I can't do this again."

He holds her face, wiping them away, trying his best to quietly calm her.

"It's not fair to you," She holds his wrist, "Hector."

"I'm here."

"I'm dying."

#Hector Escaton #westworld #prisma self ships #Absolute corruption #prisma writes #hector escaton x oc #self ship story #self ship writing #self shipping

[lesbibaku]

recommend some bkdk fics !! <33

*cracks knuckles* let's start.

(All of them are on ao3 and all of them are sfw:))

Romeo and Romeo by supercrunch is one of my comfort fics. Katsuki is just adorable and deku's any extrovert in quarantine. Side pairing is iidachako which I love honestly. Also katsukis' dog is so cute!

I read A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by TargaryenJedii yesterday and it definitely didn't disappoint! This fic is definition of hurt/comfort and dadzawa. I love how supportive the class, and teachers are.

i wish i may i wish i might by writedeku is another comfort fic of mine. I read it whenever I'm feeling sad and it cheers me up. I just wanna say that I'm sucker for tdbk friendship.

I normally don't read gen fics but Never Take Your Problem Children to Costco by DanceInTheKitchen is definitely an exception. I love bestie troublemaker bkdk honestly. They're gremlins ok? Also this fic is a complete crack & humor so I would suggest to not read it in public places!

Never regret thy fall by nekoelisan is just masterpiece. I love the sun & Icarus reference, the whole fic feels like poetry. I'm in love with authors' writing style and the way they describe katsukis' feelings. I don't remember how I found this fic but I'm glad I did.

When Love Decides to Stay by princejaelofbabylon felt like a slap in the face because I'm a person who can't just let go of things no matter how much they hurt me. Sometimes I reread it just to remind myself that it's okay to let someone go.

High Hopes by edema_ruh shattered me in million pieces and I'm still picking them up. Tbh I don't think I'll ever recover from this fic. I'm a person who loves angst but damn I never knew a person surviving would hurt me this much but here we are:,)

caramel dynamite supernova by deadwriter16 is fluffy and adorable. We love izuku "kacchan's amazing" Midoriya in this house (￣∇￣) they're so whipped and in love with eachother GOD.

The Night We Met by majjale ripped my heart out and tried to put it back in the place (emphasis on tried). It's so heartbreaking to see izuku dying over and over again and katsuki can't do anything about it. I actually didn't understand the ending at first but everything became clear once I read the sequel.

Our Way Out by Ana_Writes is one of my first fics that I've read on ao3. Anas' writing style is very unique. I remember being in awe when I first read it. Also ponytail katsuki is superior!!

colors of a ghost by ladyofsnails was my first ghost deku story. I remember reading it when there was storm outside (which gave it more creepy & scary vibe???).

So Much Worse Than A Phantom Limb by s_the_queen is incredible. Swags' ooc ochako is the only ooc ochako I'll accept. I love how supportive mina, kirishima, kaminari, jirou, asui and ALMOST whole class were. Also bakumomo friendship y'all!

I feel like A Split Second by jesskrt is kinda like origin to Spideydeku. It's inspired by that scene in spiderman where that girl fell off the building & Peter tries to save her but couldn't.

As soon as I saw the summary of Lubēre, Libēre by empressvika I knew it would hurt. So of course I read it. I like how in this fic deku is the one who's struggling to identify his feelings and not katsuki. Because I feel like that's canon in the manga.

wrinkled oranges, pigeons, and other sweet things to call your significant other by sapphicflower is that bittersweet fic that makes me feel mix of different kind of emotions. Old bkdk makes me feel so sad? And happy??? At the same time😭 I feel happy because they did grow old together but at the same time it's sad but not in the bad way. Like when you realize that your sibling grow up and you feel nostalgic kind of way.

The Tale of the Red-Eyed Demon by Seeress is one of my first bkdk fics I've read. And it's amazing. Honestly anything by Seeress is a piece of art. I would recommend all of their fics.

How to Train Your Useless Dragon by Mikacrispy is the fic I never knew I needed. As you can guess its inspired by How To Train Your Dragon. I love how author combined HTTYD and MHA universes together. Definitely worth reading.

_____

I'm considering making a full masterlist of bkdk fics I'd recommend because that's definitely not all. What do y'all think?

Also while writing this I realized that most of the fics I read are oneshots, so if y'all knew sfw long bkdk fics (that aren't TWYUTD because I already read it) lemme know!

Thanks for the ask xinilia! And I'm sorry I wasn't able to answer it sooner:( I was very busy.

(Post edited because apparently some links were broken lxjsijss)

#first ask #bkdk #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #ktdk #mha #fic recs #katsudeku

[hb-writes]

I Won’t Leave You

Summary: The Shelby boys have just returned from the war and John is lost and heartbroken after coming back to a home without his Martha. His best friend Sophie has been there for his family in every way, caring for his little ones while they’ve had no one else, but Sophie’s kept John at a distance, hesitant to intrude on what she feels isn’t hers. 

Characters: John Shelby, Sophie Mason (OC), Robbie Shelby (John’s son)

Content Warnings: canon-typical content, angst, grief, death, war, (it’s hurting john shelby hours)

--

Sophie ate a quarter of her dinner in silence before setting it aside and doing up the dishes, cleaning the kitchen until it gleamed. Then she tidied up the rest of the small two-bedroom she had lived in for her whole life, a family heirloom of sorts.

She cleaned until there was nothing left to clean, not a speck of dust left on the mismatched frames or the secondhand furniture or the tired floors that had never been hers to begin with, all of it passed down from her parents and her mother's parents before them, everything a hand me down except for two pictures Sophie claimed as her own, one from the wedding day of her two best friends and the other of the groom just a few years later, donning not a wedding suit but a military uniform. He was a boy of only nineteen in the photo, but already a father of three…four, if you stopped to count the seed sowed the very same morning he left them all behind at New Street Station.

Sophie figured John had met the new baby by now, little Robbie Shelby who was more like the father he had yet to know than any of the other children before him had been, breaking and healing all of their hearts for the last three and a half years with the smiles and gestures they assumed they'd be going without while their proper owner was off in France.

The boy inhabited the space between pain in the arse and little charmer as if navigating a sailboat on calm waters, with the sweetest grin and the silliest comments and getting up to casual mischief integral parts of the boy’s typical way, full of words that had no business coming out of a three-and-a-half-year-old’s mouth and actions that had no business coming to fruition at his innocent little hands and his sweet, gentle way. 

It was the thought of Robbie after her second over-poured whiskey that had Sophie slipping into her coat and shoes. Either John would have the kids put to bed and she’d find him alone, quiet. Or the devils would still be up, driving their father mad with their demands for more attention, more stories, more dinner, more sweets. 

More, more, more.

John and Martha’s kids hadn’t always seemed hungry from the start, but they had been that way since Martha had gone from them. But with their father gone for so long before their mother’s passing, they just always seemed starved for something these days, anything—the food, the touch, a loving word or a stern one, the answers to a million and two questions.

Sophie imagined those babies had passed John’s first day back gorging themselves on their father’s mere presence, filling themselves to the brim with his laughs, drinking up the blue shine in his eyes, hanging off his every word and limb, stealing away the little insignificant moments in the off chance they’d need to one day make a meal of the meager memories they’d been fed.

It wouldn’t be the first time John and Martha’s babies had subsisted off nothing more than distant memories of John Shelby. Sophie knew that life too, though her memories of John and Martha were far from dim, polished by her mind to shine and shimmer just like the trinkets she’d just spent the evening rubbing a tired cloth over, willing the attention to detail to quiet the particulars running about wild in her mind. 

Sophie focused on her steps on the walk over, willing herself to focus on the cool of the wind through her jacket, willing herself to empty her mind of the details. Sophie wasn’t certain of what she’d find in John Shelby after these four years and when emptying her mind failed, she set herself to the task of avoiding expectations, of breaking up any of the pictures that formed in her mind’s eye, unimagining his smile, disassembling his eyes, and shattering the imagined sound of his laugh, but as she stood on Watery Lane, shivering in the damp night’s air, she couldn’t stop herself from picturing him coming to answer her calling. 

It felt odd to Sophie for her to be knocking on the door she’d become accustomed to passing through as if it was her own, arriving without notice and towing whichever child was wailing or meddling or in some sort of immediate danger up into her arms as she came through, an act she’d engaged in for months out of some unspoken obligation she felt to John and Martha, to the babies who didn’t ask to be born on the cusp of war, wailing for their father for four long years while everyone thought they were just after a bit of milk or food or kiss and a cuddle to heal an injury away. 

And that was all before they’d lost Martha.

A little over four months had passed and the loss of her still felt fresh. Sophie thought maybe because it was, in a way, because they’d all been anticipating the boys’ return, anticipating the fresh wave of pain that would come from another person learning the new way of things, from coming back to a house that felt empty even though it was filled with kids, from the sense of camaraderie that had swiftly left the home, the lost sense of partnership that had once come from a shared glance fraught with laughter when the kids were getting up to something that warranted a snicker, but wasn’t to be encouraged, the shared frustration when all four of them were sick, a shared drink after they all went down, when the exhaustion finally distributed through the limbs and you couldn’t remember what had passed during the three or so hours after dinner. 

Those things had all continued to feel fresh to Sophie every single day since Martha had gone. She had thought it would subside, thought that she’d stop looking over her shoulder or imagining telling Martha whatever story about her child when she returned from this outing or that, but those urges, the deep-seated need… it didn’t wane with time, but it was more painful in the start. 

That was really what finally pulled Sophie from her kitchen chair, the thought of John alone once the babies went down, alone in the house he’d dreamt of for four years, fantasized about while he tried to sleep in the mud and the dust. At least that’s what Sophie imagined he’d been dreaming about in France—his little house on Watery Lane, filled with his wife and his babies, so loud and chaotic and lovely. They wore those words like a badge of honor, even their sweet, quiet Martha who had barely spoken when they first knew her.

Sophie started when the door creaked open and stepped back onto the cobblestone, nearly tripping over her own feet. 

“Where the hell have you been?” 

Sophie hadn’t allowed herself to imagine what words would be the first exchanged between them, and the ones she heard stumped her, confused her enough that John’s rough voice could’ve been speaking French and she’d not have known any better how to respond. 

His voice, the first part of him she took in, even before she pulled her eyes up from the wet cobblestones to observe his face, was just as she remembered even if it had a little edge to it, and that had her mind crafting the types of responses they’d once been prone to, the cheeky comments that earned reciprocal grins and friendly shoves in the arm, laughter hidden behind hands or an impromptu cough to cover it all. 

There was no grin on his lips though and no laughter either as she dragged her eyes from his face, running her gaze over the body he’d leaned against the door frame, focusing on his clothes, just a simple undershirt with sleeves pushed up to his forearm, an old pair of pants that hung a bit loose now, things he’d probably dug out of the bottom of his drawers. 

“They’ve been asking after you all afternoon.”

Sophie met his eyes then and found them tired and red, fatigued from more than just being with a bunch of rowdy kids all day. John seemed tired in a way the kids couldn’t touch, and Sophie had a feeling their presence, their shouting and scrambling and squealing had made him look a bit better, a bit more alive, even though she couldn’t make herself imagine him looking worse.

“I only asked after you once,” he continued in her silence, backing through the door. “Pol said, ‘Let the girl have a day off. She’s been with those kids every—’”

“I wanted to give you time with your family, John. I—” Sophie followed him, stepping in off the lane and securing the door behind her, dealing with the lock that always caught with a certain ease as John watched her, a bit of sickness settling in his stomach. It was why he rarely locked it. He could never get it on the first try and somewhere along the line, he'd just decided it wasn’t worth his trouble. 

John cleared his throat. “So, you’ve really been with them every day?” 

Sophie caught his gaze as he turned back to her, his eyes sweeping over the simple green dress she’d exposed by taking off her coat before he settled back on her face, her cheeks warmed by the journey his eyes had just made.

She shrugged. “Someone needed to be.”

John nodded, reaching behind him to grab the glass of whiskey he’d set aside to answer the door.

She’d spent the last four years accumulating questions and comments for him, four years of things she knew she’d one day like to ask or say, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice a single one of them, all of it seeming a bit disingenuous considering, so Sophie focused instead on picking up the toys discarded across the room, settling them in their proper place before she noticed John was watching her, taking slow sips from his overpoured glass as his eyes followed her. 

“We ate at number six,” he said as her gaze drifted to the kitchen door. 

She already knew that though, was well acquainted with the schedule of the day for the Shelby family, the 11:17 into New Street, the family lunch planned immediately after, the lunch which she supposed had spanned until dinner, drinks maybe, screaming kids covering any of the awkward silences. 

Babies always did that.

“John, I…”

John turned from Sophie as the creaking stairs sounded and Sophie wasn’t sure if she’d rather curse or thank the baby rubbing his eyes as he made his way down, heading straight for her skirts, hiding there against her side as John watched the two of them. 

“It’s past bedtime, mate. You should be asleep.”

Sophie smoothed back the sweaty hair from Robbie’s face, both of them eyeing John as he took another sip of the whiskey. 

“Your dad’s right, Robbie,” Sophie said, trying to take his hand and lead him towards the stairs, but the boy reached his arms up instead.

Sophie sighed and hoisted him up to her hip, his head immediately falling to her shoulder as she settled him in her arms.

“Can you read me a story?” 

“How many stories have you already had?” she asked. 

“Just one,” he said. “Aunt Polly told us just one because you spoiled us with too many. Can you read me a story even though it’s your day off?”

Sophie snorted. “My day off?” 

“Aunt Polly told ‘em it was your day off.”

Sophie glanced at the clock. It was seventeen minutes past midnight. 

“Good thing for you it’s tomorrow,” she said. “Go find daddy’s book.” 

Sophie let the boy down and watched him amble across the room, watched as he tugged the heavy book off the shelf, stealing a few glances towards John as he settled on the far corner of the couch with his glass still in hand. 

Sophie sat half a cushion away from him, grateful when Robbie climbed up into the space between them, settling the open book there in his lap, tilting the pages toward Sophie. 

“Maybe daddy will read with us if we ask nicely, eh Robbie?”

“Sissy says you do better voices than Auntie Sophie.” Robbie spoke the words into the space in front of him, his eyes on the book rather than his father.

“Hey, there—” Sophie tickled his side, the small squeal bringing a tired smile to John’s face. “—My voices are just fine, mister!”

“Yeah, well, Uncle Tommy does ‘em better than any of us, eh Soph?” 

Thomas Shelby doing the voices was something Sophie hadn’t thought of in some time, something she hadn’t heard since they were kids themselves, and she found herself longing for it a bit, the tenor of Tommy acting as the villain or the hero or Aunt Polly. It brought a gentle smile to her face, a wistful sort of relaxation falling over her, a feeling she found lacking in John as he chewed his lip for a moment. 

“I’ll concede your daddy that,” Sophie finally offered. “Your Uncle Tommy does it best.”

Robbie made a face, raising his eyebrows as he glanced up at Sophie. “Really?” 

The boy couldn’t imagine the man who’d sat at the table all day doing little more than smoke his cigarettes and answer questions in curt monosyllables doing the voices.

“Put us all to shame when we were little like you.”  

“You weren’t ever little like me!” Robbie accused, poking her shoulder.

Sophie poked him back, tickling him a bit as he started to giggle. “Everyone starts out little like—”

John cleared his throat. “Alright you two, it’s late. What are we reading?”

“A good one. I just have to find it,” Robbie mumbled.

The boy flicked through the pages, slow and deliberate as he peered at the titles he couldn’t read, the symbols and pictures matched in his head with the tales they accompanied. John rubbed his eyes and settled his head against his fist, his gaze directed across the room while Robbie continued with his search for several minutes. 

With only the sound of pages turning and Robbie mumbling to himself, Sophie shifted, settling her legs beneath her and stretching her arm across the back of the couch, her fingertips barely grazing John’s shoulder. It startled him and he met her eye for a moment before reaching for the book in Robbie’s hands. John pulled it into his lap and started reading off the open page, the only complaint from Robbie a look of shock when the boy turned to Sophie, his discontent quelled by her smile and the magic that was his father reading him a story for the first time.

As John read on, Robbie leaned back against Sophie, his eyes struggling to stay open as the words lulled him to sleep. John gave it a page and a half extra after the boy's breathing deepened before he shut the book and set it on the coffee table. 

Sophie moved to shift the boy who’d curled into her during John’s performance, but John reached down, his hand sliding against Sophie’s side as he pulled Robbie up and away from her, settling the boy against his chest, the baby’s eyes fluttering open at John’s gentle repositioning.

“Sophie,” he mumbled, reaching his little hand down toward her though he stayed resting against his father’s chest.

John held a hand down and tugged her up, marching up the stairs first, his head shaking as his sleepy son extended his hand down over his shoulder, reaching out with his small fingertips to hold Sophie’s hand.

“Say goodnight to Aunt Sophie,” John said just outside the door to the bedroom where he and Joey slept, the room just across from the girls. 

Robbie mumbled something incoherent and Sophie pressed a kiss to his forehead before his father carried him into the room, tucking him back under the covers, whispering something Sophie couldn’t hear, a short set of words that elicited a giggle from the boy and a chuckle from John as he shushed him and pulled up the covers. 

“They missed you," Sophie offered as John shut the door to the boy's room and stepped across the hall to look in on his daughters.

“I don’t know. That one seemed more excited to see you than he was to see me.” 

Sophie let out a soft scoff as she headed to the stairs, John just behind her as she went. 

“Robbie’s a sweet boy…and a right pain,” she offered, turning up the stairs as she reached the bottom, a small smirk gracing her face as she delivered the teasing offense, “much like his father.”

“Well, he looks like her.” 

Sophie, stilled, a hand going to the back of the sofa for stability, her heart a touch heavier at the mere mention of the woman who should’ve been there helping John tuck the baby back into bed. Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment though it didn’t stop her from seeing in her mind exactly what John had meant. 

Robbie had her eyes, not the color, but the set of them, and a dimple just to the right side of his smile. There was something about the nose, too, though Sophie hadn’t yet figured out exactly what, but somehow it was Martha’s face there in the boy, even if it was John’s mouth and mannerisms and mind. 

“Sarah, too,” he said, pouring whiskey into two glasses and settling them both on the coffee table as he sat back onto the couch. “I remember when she was born thinking she wasn’t mine. The kid didn’t look a thing like me. That’s why she was so insistent we name her after my mother.” 

Sophie lowered herself onto the cushion beside him. “Well, I’ve never had a doubt. Those kids are all a bit of you.” 

“And a bit of her,” John said.

“Yeah, well, that’s usually how it works.” 

John finished his drink, setting it aside, his gaze fixed off across the room again though he could’ve been someplace else, a different house, a different country, a different time.

His hand was shoved in his pocket, and Sophie watched as he fiddled with something.  

“How long was she sick? Was she—”

“John,” Sophie said, his name nothing more than a plea.

It was starting to grate on her, the way John wouldn’t say his wife’s name, the way 'Martha' had yet to come from their lips, but Sophie could feel the woman there, filling the room, filling the space between them, filling the hurt, but neither one of them had even said her name.

“How long?” he ground out, pulling his hand from his pocket and leaning forward to settle his elbows on his knees, a glint of gold finding the light as he fumbled with a ring.

Martha's ring. 

Sophie put her hand on his shoulder, pulling back when he turned to her, repeating his question. 

“How long?”

Sophie swallowed, her eyes shifting to his hand, to the ring before she could bring herself to deliver an answer. 

“I know you were here every day, then, too. How—” 

“A few...three months,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “She was sick for three months...or just about.”

John nodded. “Seemed like it came on sudden.”

That’s what the letter had said, the one delivering the message of her passing. It had been the first that had said anything about her being sick, first and last. 

“She didn’t want you to…”

“And what about you? You didn’t write me the whole time I was away.” 

It seemed silly now, the argument that Sophie had had in her mind to explain away four long years of silence, the one that said it wasn’t her place to be writing to him. Sophie had decided that it was something reserved for family, for Martha and the kids, for Polly and Ada and Finn, but there was a lot of things Sophie had done that had seemed reserved for family, a lot of business and caretaking that traditionally wouldn’t have been done by anyone other than a Shelby, and her not writing suddenly felt selfish, because her eyes had run over the letters John sent home. She’d memorized the stories scrawled out on the backs of his letters just as well as the children had, and she hadn’t even let him know his wife was sick. 

She hadn’t written to him after either, hadn’t taken up Martha’s penning him lengthy tales of what the kids got up to on Watery Lane even though she knew whatever Polly and Ada were sending him wouldn’t be good enough because while John sent the kids tales from some fictional world he’d devised in his head, Martha had for four years sent him masterpieces of their domestic life, her tales of Sarah, Joey, Katie, and Robbie Shelby somehow coming across as epic fantasies, entertaining and descriptive, and so well done that the kids John came home to didn’t feel so much like little strangers to him. 

And their best friend Sophie was weaved in there too. Martha had always been sure to include something about her, some silly story about something she’d gotten up to with the kids or some tit for tat she’d gotten into with Polly, mischief she got up to with Ada or Finn. There was always something, but Sophie hadn’t had it in her to take it on, not after being quiet for so long.

She let out a breath, blinking away the wetness in her eyes. 

“I should have,” she said, her voice dwindling to a low murmur, the words barely coming out at all, “especially after Martha, but…”

Sophie stopped herself, so easily paused in her explanation because she'd been hoping for him to interrupt so she wouldn’t have to continue, so her voice wouldn’t break.

She thought the sound was nothing more than John clearing his throat, preparing himself to speak, but then his shoulders started shaking as he leaned forward, his silent sobs pressed into his fists as the ring fell to the floor, and Sophie sat frozen beside him, allowing his pain to wash over her, the pain she brought on just by saying Martha’s name, something they’d been dancing around since she came through the door, and just like in not writing him, Sophie realized she had been standing just outside, holding him at a distance, acting like this moment wasn’t hers to intrude on, like John wasn’t hers to comfort, just like he hadn’t been hers to write to, just the same as the way she’d barely allowed herself to cry over Martha’s death, letting those who were supposed to grieve have it even though John and Martha Shelby were the closest thing she had to family.

Sophie reached out a hand, tentative, slow, and had barely settled it on John's shoulder when he shrugged it off. “You shouldn’t have kept it from me, either one of you.”

“John, I—”

“No,” John said, his voice nearly masked by the sound of the glass shattering as he picked it up and tossed it across the room. He turned to Sophie, showing his reddened face and tear-stained cheeks. 

Sophie stood up only for John to catch her wrist, keeping her still. “You should’ve known better. You should’ve fucking told me the truth. You should’ve—” 

Sophie shook her head and held herself back from prying at his grasp, hoping her words would do the trick and he'd let her go. “John, I think I should—” 

“Don’t go.” John tugged her to him, his head suddenly set against her stomach, his arms tight around her back as he hugged her to him. 

Sophie stood there with her hands raised up in the air, unsteady on her heels, held up on her feet only by John’s crushing arms, surprised by the sudden shift in the room. As she steadied herself, Sophie was near-certain that she would break, both from the sound of John's painful wailing and the tightness of his arms wrapped around her.

Sophie took a settling breath as she lowered her arms around him, rubbing her palms first over his tensed arms before allowing her fingertips to find his hair, cradling the back of his head with one hand as her other hand found moved to his shoulder and back as she shushed him, soothing just as she'd done with his babies and his wife while he was away, easing the pain, drawing out the hurt, wishing wholly for them to find a bit of peace.

“They all leave, Soph.”

Sophie swallowed at John’s words, willing her mind to stop itself from running through the list, unable to stop once it got going.

Sophie’s mother.

Sophie’s father.

Her older sister.

John’s mother. 

Tommy’s Greta.

And now their Martha. 

It took everything in Sophie to not agree with him, to not slip down into the same pit of hurt and despair and hopelessness that came at accepting the truth of his words, to acknowledge that so many had left them behind, left them alone.

Sophie held him to her still, clinging to him even as his grip slackened and the fight that had him gripping her fell away, his sobs still echoing in the quiet as she whispered to him.

“I won’t leave you, John. I'll stay.” 

For the night, the week, for the rest of their lives. Sophie knew even as she'd said it, that's what she meant. She'd be there for John in whatever way he needed, same as always.

--

Tidy Sums (Peaky Blinders) Masterlist

500 Follower Celebration Masterlist 

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #john shelby #john shelby x oc #john shelby fanfiction #martha shelby #hb.writes angst #500 follower celebration

[writings-of-a-british-fangirl]

A Heart Of Change (Zuko X Reader) [Everything Has Changed Part 4]

Title: A Heart Of Change Summary: Azula returns to exact her revenge, but that's not the only thing that returns with her. New events and old feelings come to light. Warnings: Angst ? And canon violence. Requested: By a few lovely followers of mine who wanted a part 4!!

A/N: I glossed over Boiling Rock Part 1 + 2 because I couldn't think of a good way to incorporate the reader in those events so I'll be referring to them instead of completely retelling them.

A/N 2: Sorry for the month long hiatus! Work has been crazy! Anyway, enjoy part 4 x

CATCH UP ON THE OTHER PARTS FIRST-

PART 1: EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED PART 2: CHANGE IS GOOD PART 3: CHANGING SPIRITS PART 4: A HEART OF CHANGE

Zuko~A Heart Of Change

A lot had happened in the past few days- and it was almost enough to distract you from the bigger picture. With Zuko and Aang learning the true source of fire bending, and Sokka to rescuing Suki and his dad (with Zuko's help), you'd almost forgotten what was inevitably coming for you. Your previous actions had consequences. And, where consequences and revenge were involved, Azula wasn't far behind. (If you were being honest, you were surprised she didn't find you earlier.)

     What didn't surprise you, however, was how ready she was. She came prepared: a taunting expression on her face, and a fleet of air ships behind her, she launched her attack on the Western Air Temple. You couldn't fight them all at once, not even with Avatar right now. Fleeing safely was your main priority. If you had any hope of defeating the Fire Lord before that comet, Aang needed to master fire bending- and you needed to make it out of here alive.

    You look over at Zuko and recognise a look in his eyes. Zuko had never backed down from a fight- especially with his sister. And, now you were worried what he would do next.

    "We have to go now, Zuko," you plead, "It's not worth fighting her if it means we don't get out of here alive."

    Zuko glanced at you and then back at his sister. He had to do something: letting his sister get the best of him again didn't sit right with him. He hated feeling helpless. Besides, a distraction was needed to get out of here. Zuko was happy to provide that.

     "You go with the others," Zuko insisted, "I'm going to distract her, she'll be too busy fighting me to attack you guys."

      You weren't sure about this, but decided to help round up the others anyway.

     Haru began to make a tunnel out of the air bending temple, trying to help the others escape. Aang was doing his best to persuade Appa to follow them through the tunnel, but it wasn't working. Appa was scared of being under ground, especially after he got trapped in the mountain in the Earth Kingdom. You could see that it wasn't working. He would have to fly, even if it wasn't the safer option.

     "This isn't working," Aang says, frustrated, "I'll take Appa and fly."

     "It's too dangerous!" Katara insisted.

     "It's even more dangerous staying here like sitting ducks!" you yell back, over the noise of the airships and the crumbling temple.

      "She's right," Toph says.

      "Haru, take the others to safety through the tunnel," Aang said, "We'll fly to safety on Appa."

      Haru nodded and began to earth bend his way, with the others, through the air bending temple- he closed the tunnel behind him so that they couldn't be followed. Aang watched them go, and then turned back to the gang. They all began to climb onto Appa. Sokka looked behind him, when he realised you and Zuko weren't with the others on Appa. His eyes widened as he watched Zuko jump from the cliff towards the airships and towards his sister- also towards the huge fire balls!

     "What are you doing?" Sokka yelled to you.

     "I have to help him! Zuko needs my help! You lot go ahead- we'll catch up!" you reply, looking away from Sokka towards Zuko, "Besides you guys need a distraction!"

     Aang hesitated looking down at you, but you nodded. He nodded back then told Appa 'yip yip' and the bison began to fly through the collapsing rubble. You watched them fly upwards in an effort to avoid the blasts of fire Azula and her soldier were firing their way. You looked to the edge of the cliff and then to the airships, before taking a running start. Using blasts of fire from your hands, you launch yourself further into the air. Zuko's head turned when he heard the sound of your footsteps running along the crumbling ground. His eyes widened.

     He told you to stay behind!

     This wasn't part of his plan!

     What if you got hurt?

     His mind was racing a million miles an hour, but he tried to stay focused on Azula. He knew she'd use you against him; she was always very aware of his soft spot for you. Even as a child, he'd try and shield you from Azula. She quickly caught on, and from then on enjoyed teasing him about his precious Y/N, and then she'd go onto describe what she'd do to you if she ever caught you alone and unawares. From then on, his effort to keep you away from Azula (even as you grew older and more capable) became even more conscious. That hadn't changed. Even now. Even as you were risking your life for him and the gang. He still feared losing you- especially to his sister.

      "What are you doing here?!" Zuko yelled across the air ships.

      "What does it look like?!" you reply back, "I'm helping you dumbass! This is dangerous- I'm not letting you do it on your own!"

      Zuko tries not to freak out too much, but his attention is immediately drawn away by a large ball of fire heading his way. He dodges it narrowly and jumps to the next air ship. He quickly looks back to you- and luckily you're safe. You acknowledge him with a smile and then slide down the side of the air ship with a blade-like-flame, cutting down the side of the ship. The hull of the ship rips with a severe noise, and you can feel the ship start to spiral down. You use the side of the ship to boost yourself onto the next one.

      Between the two of you, you made quick work of the air ships. It was made ever more difficult, though, with the interference of Azula. She was a powerful bender, even at such a young age. And, with the top tier training she'd received in the heart of the fire nation, with the nation's greatest fire benders, it was no surprise that she was putting up quite a fight.

     "I don't think we can last much longer," you shouted over to Zuko, "We need to get out of here!"

     "Where's Aang?" Zuko agreed.

     "Up there," you pointed.

     "We're going to have to j-"

     Before Zuko could finish the word 'jump', you were both forced off the side of the air ship by another powerful ball of fire sent from Azula. In the process she was forced backwards. Luckily, when you were launched off of the ship, Aang was ready with Appa to catch you both. You landed with a thud on Appa's saddle, and looked back.

     "She's not going to make it," Zuko said quietly.

      Azula pulled out her hair pin, and dug it deep into the side of the cliff. Eventually she came to a halt, making eye contact with Zuko as she did.

     "Of course she did."

---

Things between you and Zuko had been different ever since you escape Azula. In fact, you suspected it started before that. Ever since he'd gone to the Boiling Rock with Sokka, something seemed different. Seemed off. You hadn't even had the chance to talk to him alone, yet. For you, it was only making the situation worse.

     You found yourself sitting alone on the beach. You'd eaten dinner with the others, and then excused yourself. Talk at dinner was lively, but you felt yourself shrink away from it. You hadn't seen Azula since you fled the fire nation; seeing her again was resurfacing old memories. Ones of her and you. Ones of you and Zuko. And, being at this house didn't help. Zuko and Azula used to come here all the time as kids. Sometimes Zuko would invite you. You had good memories here. However, now it felt so empty. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts.

     Maybe that's why Zuko was being so strange; maybe he was going through what you were going through. Surely he wasn't having second thoughts about coming here? Or maybe it was just second thoughts about you?

     You were so wrapped up in your thoughts, you barely heard footsteps approaching you.

     "You didn't stay long at dinner," Zuko commented, sitting down beside you.

     You brought your knees up to your chest and sighed.

     "I didn't mean to leave you out there," you murmur, "I just didn't feel like I had much to say, that's all."

     "And, I thought being the moody one was my job," Zuko teases.

     You have a faint smile on your face.

     "You're not moody, you're angsty," you correct, "There's a difference."

     "There's a difference?"

     "Yeah, you're so much more dramatic than moody," you reply.

     Zuko shakes his head. You smile towards him, and he rolls his eyes playfully in response.

     "I'm just teasing," you promise.

    "I know," Zuko says calmly, and then he hesitates before speaking again, "Are you sure you're okay? We haven't talked just us-"

    "-I'm fine, Zuko. It's not... It's not anything serious. I'm just over reacting. I promise."

    Zuko is silent, and in that moment, you take it as a sign for you to continue. You've held it in for so long that you almost can't help to let all your emotions out.

    "It's just I... I feel like we haven't talked in a while. And seeing Azula today, it just brought up old memories. And, this place... I feel like it should be comforting, but its not. It just reminded me of what I don't have any more," you sigh, "I feel like something happened on the Boiling Rock. Something you're not telling me. Not that you have to tell me anything... I didn't want... I'm not trying... I... I don't know I feel like something has changed. Between us. You know what- just ignore me. Forgot what I said."

      You go to get up from where you're sitting, but Zuko puts his hand on yours and you stop.

      "I didn't mean to hide anything from you," Zuko sighed, "I didn't mean to make you feel like this."

      You looked down towards the waves lapping the sand.

      "I saw Mai. I saw Mai on Boiling Rock," Zuko confessed, "And... She saved me-us. She saved us by going against Azula. I've been feeling... Conflicted about it. I'm worried about her- and what Azula has done to her-"

      "-Oh."

       That's all you could say. Part of you felt heart broken because you had pressed so much- Zuko rarely talked about his feelings like this even to you. Part of you felt selfish for thinking the reason he was so distant was because of you. It was Mai. It had always been Mai and it was always be Mai.

     "I'm sure she's alright, Zuko. Her family's high standing will protect her," you say, placing a hand on his shoulder.

      You squeeze it lightly before standing up and walking back towards the house.

     "Wait," Zuko says, running up behind you.

     "I'm going to bed, Zuko," you murmur trying to walk quicker.

     "Y/N, wait, please, I'm not good with words... I don't-"

     "-Don't worry, Zuko. Mai is special. She's special to you," you smile up at him, "I'm happy you've found that."

     "No, that's not what I meant. Y/N, please. Mai is special, but so are you. She's not my special- you're... Ugh, I'm not good with words... I..." Zuko huffs, frustrated.

      You look up at him, confused, "I'm special?"

       "Yes," he nods, "You've always been special to me. More than anyone else. You always have been. I- When I was banished, you came with me; you've always been by my side. Even when I didn't deserve. Even when I didn't deserve you..."

       "Zuko... I..."

       "You don't have to feel the same, but I just want you to-"

       You lean up and press your hand against his cheek. He stops speaking but his lips part before he gently gulps. You look up at him for permission, and he nods. In this moment, he might just agree to anything you asked of him. But, for now, all you ask of him is a kiss. He gladly accepts. You gently place your lips on his, and he kisses back.

      "How long have you felt like this?" you ask him.

     "A life time."

      You smile: so dramatic you think. But, then again, you always did like a bit of dramatic flare in your life.

#zuko #zuko x reader #zuko imagine #zuko imagines #avatar #avatar imagine #avatar imagines #Avatar The Last Airbender #Avatar the Last Air Bender #atla #atla imagine #atla imagines #avatar the last airbender imagine #avatar the last airbender imagines #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko imagine #prince zuko imagines #one shot #imagine #imagines #reader imagine #reader insert #character x reader

[c-stress]

My Ultimate Taekook Fic Recommendations!!

This will be my ongoing list of Taekook fics that I really loved  reading and want to share with you guys ♥

A few things beforehand:

All of the following fics will be completed.

I don’t take any credit or responsibilty for any of the following fics.

In this household we support Bottom!Kook.

Please enjoy~~

He Tells Me, “Stay If You Can” by vestals

It takes Jungkook three years to realise two things: 1. He certainly is not straight 2. He is very much in love with Kim Taehyung

#friends to lovers #canon/non au #coming of age #bottom kook #experimenting #8k #ao3

pulling shapes just for your eyes by aeterisks

The number one rule when you're a producer on a show like Miss Right, Taehyung thinks, should be do not fall for the bachelor.

It's such a shame Taehyung has never been good at following rules.

#reality show #producer tae #bachelor kook #secret relationship #switch tae and kook #hot #110k #ao3

The Blood Donor by IncubusRose

A series of kidnappings and killings has led the world to the astonishing discovery that vampires have been living alongside humans for centuries. And it seems they're just as bloodthirsty and twisted as ancient lore makes them out to be.

So when Jungkook finds himself the victim of a kidnapping that's perhaps not as nefarious as he initially thought, why is nothing the way that he thought it would be?

Now he's been roped into helping a sick, red-haired vampire against his will. But the more he explores and discovers in this new world, the faster and harder he falls into Wonderland.

#vampire tae #human kook #kidnapping #no stockholm syndrome though #bottom kook #fluff #violence #ot7 #hate to love #97k #ao3

you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be by aeterisks

He has seen Taehyung smirk, smile seductively, smile cheekily, grin lazily, but nothing like this. This, Jeongguk thinks, is what happiness must look in Taehyung.

(He tries to ignore the way his chest pumps when he sees it, and the urge to see it again once it’s gone.)

#club owner tae #dj kook #rich tae #fwb #fuckbuddies to lovers #misunderstandings #tae has issues #bottom tae #27k #ao3

Suit & Tie by Wontonz

Taehyung and Jeongguk really shouldn't have been partnered together.

#CEO jungkook #CEO taehyung #bottom kook #both are the best in their job #rivals to lovers #25k #ao3

Eclipse by Bangtanbananas

After the tragic death of his parents, Jeon Jeongguk hated werewolves.

The last thing he ever expected was to fall in love with one.

#werewolf tae #werewolf hunter jk #slow burn #bottom kook #fluff #mating #big fight in the end #ot7 #91k #ao3

As You Are by taekover

Jeon Jungkook, the youngest private investigator in Seoul at 23 years old, with over a hundred solved cases under his belt, does not do favours.

Well. That's what he says.

#fluff #funny #private investigator #5k #ao3

War of Hormones by C_Stress

When Jungkook left the house that day, he just wanted to dance for a bit, not getting it on with some (hot) stranger...

#basically pwp #tattooed tae #virgin jk #bottom kook #one night stand? #3k #ao3

Sugar...daddy? By whatspoppin-yoongi.tumblr

Jokingly but also totally not jokingly putting an ad out to find a sugar daddy seemed simple enough. He never expected people to respond though…

Being rich was all he knew, and so help him god, he wasn’t going to turn out like all the selfish people that surrounded him.

#social media #pictures #texting# sugar daddy jungkook #side yoomin #tumblr

Bubblegum Bitch by snowmoney

Jungkook is but a simple delivery boy; the last thing he needs is a high maintenance fake boyfriend.

#fake relationship #tae in heels #model tae #falling in love #misunderstandings #bottom tae #dislike to love #33k #ao3

Snowflakes by IRINEL

Taehyung falls in love for the first time, right when the first Snowflake kisses the ground. As, a Single father, Drown in responsibilities & pressure, he finds his strength in a pair of Doe eyes, exactly a week before Christmas Eve. In a pair of Doe eyes, belonging to a simple country boy - named Jungkook.

Visiting Jimin's grandmother didn't seem like a good idea from where Taehyung was standing. Especially after her daughter's_Taehyung's wife's sudden disappearance, leaving the young man with a Five years Old Son, a bunch of responsibilities, his parents' '"I told you" looks and of course a letter reading "I can't do this anymore". But if he knew what was waiting for him from the start he would never, ever waste a single second to head to the small Village.

#aged up tae #aged down jk #age difference #jimin is taes kid #he's the cutest #bottom kook #orphan kookie #christmas #fluff #angsty #happy ending #slow burn #27k #ao3

whatta man (good man) by aeterisks

Out of all the kinds of blogs Jeon Jeongguk could have run, never in a million years Taehyung would have expected him to have a porn blog.

(Or, Jeongguk runs a porn blog and Taehyung not so accidentally finds it.)

#college #social media #fluff and smut #crack fic #friend to lovers #bottom kook #7k #ao3

Working Conviction by rix

How their trust evolves to go from from Jungkook pointing a loaded gun in Taehyung's face to Taehyung binding Jungkook down and fucking him till he can't see straight.

#mercenary kook #mercenary tae # enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers #smut #guns and violence #bottom kook #9k #ao3

Read All About It by jvante

A star football player and an aspiring journalist fall in love, and make headlines everywhere.

#college au #life through the years #football star tae #writer jungkookie #established relationship #bit angst in between #happy end #bottom kook #realistic description of a relationship #40k #ao3

Cage Match by golden(SlimeQueen)

Taehyung knows he likes the rush of adrenaline that comes from fighting. He likes his knuckles split and stinging, heart pounding in his ribcage, the rush of blood in his ears. Jungkook is new to it all but all he knows is that he likes Taehyung.

#fight club au #hate to love #bottom kook #pining jk #choking #kinky smut #violence #20k #ao3

Just Two Dudes Being Bros by micmicbunjin

"So you two aren't dating?"

"Nah, man, we're just best bros. I mean like, if I was gay, and that's a very big if, then I would be on my knees right now sucking his dick. But I am very straight, so Jeon's dick is nowhere near my mouth."

Jeongguk nods convicingly. "I like pussy."

Namjoon puts his face in his hands and screams.

#gay panic #bros to lovers #denial #college #bottom kook #excessive use of the word bro #7k #ao3

New (Newer) Rules by jvante

Step #1: Don't get involved with the guy your girlfriend cheats with.

Failed step 1.

#bottom sub kook #sub/dom #kinda pwp #humiliation #lingerie #cock stepping #hate to fuckbuddies to lovers #hurt jungkook #108k #ao3

A crow will not pull out the eye of another crow by taetaeggukie

"If you killed me you'd let go of the only chance you've ever had to find your soulmate." That smirk was annoying Jeongguk to no end, he was close to pulling the trigger, but the man deserved something worse than a bullet to his head.

"By now you're only spitting out lies in hopes to be able to save yourself." Jeongguk was the one smirking now. "You know nothing."

"You'd let Kim Taehyung just slip through your fingers like that?"

- in a world where your soulmate's name is written on your wrist, Jeon Jeongguk blindly trusts a pirate captain V in order to find his soulmate and doesn't realize he might fall in love sooner than expected

#soulmates #pirates #bit angst #kidnapping #enemies to lovers #bottom kook #pirate tae #crew bangtan #13k #ao3

whisper me all your secrets by noekkin

Series of prostitute jk and rich man tae who just likes caring for the younger

#cute af #prostitute kook #bottom kook #caring tae #26k #ao3

Sugar and Spice by kkozumes

Jeongguk can't deny that he's attracted to Taehyung. No, he realised he was attracted to him as soon as his car pulled up by the side of the road. Jeongguk appreciated a handsome face and Kim Taehyung was beautiful to him. What he didn't expect however was for the beautiful man with the expensive car to take him back to an equally as expensive apartment away from home, give him new clothes, allow him to stay and then ask if Jeongguk wanted a sugar daddy.

#sugar daddy taehyung #daddy kink #fluff and smut #poor jk #sub kook #bottom kook #23k #ao3

Spy on Me by C_Stress

Jungkooks dad gets killed by a mercenary and he swears to get revenge. What he didn't plan though, was falling in love with said murderer.

Or

When you find out you not only moved in, but fell also in love with your mortal enemy.

#mercenary tae #hitmen au #fluff and smut #flatmates #bottom kook #cute kookie #violence #friends to enemies to lovers #17k #ao3

My Daughters Teacher by Staerrykookah

Jungkook is the single father of a 5 year old named Asami. Taehyung is her kindergarten teacher who thinks the little girl is cute but her dad is cuter.

#kindergarten teacher tae #father jungkook #top kook #falling in love #aged up #5 year old daughter #cute #wattpad

So, pancakes? By Captainotp

„He thought I was a top.“ Jungkook all but whined, hiding his head in Taehyung's chest. „Well what else is new?“

Jungkook struggles to, like, get it, because everyone thinks he's a top, and his roomate Taehyung is more than willing to help. That's it that's the story.

#friends to lovers #bottom kook #roommates # fluff and smut #soft kook #4k #ao3

you the one that I dream about all day by locks

Taehyung finally convinces Jeongguk to do the boyfriend tag/boyfriend does my make up tag.

#soft boyfriends #established relationship #youtuber tae #boyfriend does my make up #domestic fluff #shy kook #nicknames #5k #ao3

The Give and the Take by JKDoYouLoveMe

submission | səbˈmɪʃ(ə)n | noun [mass noun] 1. the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. ~ domination | dɒmɪˈneɪʃ(ə)n | noun [mass noun] 1. the exercise of power or influence over someone or something, or the state of being so controlled. ~ Young and inexperienced college student Jeongguk thinks he is a dom. His older and considerably more experienced roommate Taehyung is quite determined to show him that he is, in fact, not a dom. Drama ensues.

#sub kook #dom tae #college #roommates #friends to lovers #more like friends to fuckbuddies to lovers #degradation #humiliation #jk is a brat #subspace #tried rape at one point from another character #57k #ao3

Sing me to sleep (I can't fall without you) by HesterAntoniaDracolas

They call him demon child and think him a monster. He must be, they say, to have survived down there.

Jungkook thinks it’s because the demon actually likes him.

And maybe if you asked him, just maybe, he would admit that he likes him too

#demon tae? #jk is afraid of tae first #falling in love #sweet #8k #ao3

tenacious d in the dick of destiny by jhopeg

In the midst of struggling with debts and empty plastic packets of instant ramyeon, Taehyung and Jeongguk joined forces to put the phrase "sex sells" to good use.

#social media #use of pictures #college au #bottom tae #pornblogger #41k #ao3

tats'n'thots by Deaths_Impala

“Jeon Jeongguk, hear me out.” Taehyung says with a grin. “I feel inspired, and I want to work with you, so how about this: let me tattoo you in any way I want, free of charge – with your input of course.”

#tattoo artist tae #tattooed jungkook #aged up #life through years #smut #bottom kook #cute af #12k #ao3

say you'll stay by ChocolateKookie

Jungkook and Taehyung meet at the beach and they spend the summer holidays falling for each other, but they both know that their romance has an expiry date.

At the end of August, Jungkook is supposed to have gone back home, halfway across the country, so Taehyung expects to go back to school and continue pretending to be straight, as if nothing's changed; playing up to his role as the jerk who's never had a serious relationship. He doesn't know what to do when Jungkook turns up at his school and expects them to pick up from where they left off.

or: the BTS Grease AU that no one asked for! in which Jungkook is Sandy and Taehyung is Danny and they just want to be able to be together but Taehyung is still in the closet which makes things complicated.

#grease au #sandy jk #danny tae #secret relationship #bit homophobia #tae's deep in the closet #cute cute cute #300k #ao3

my guy pretty like a girl (and he got fight stories to tell) by hunnydews

He's dressed in another black sleeveless tank top with deep cuts on the sides, showing off his canvas of a body and all the intricate tattoos he has to offer. His pants are black and fitted as well. He forwent the bandana tonight instead his shaggy brown hair is falling into his eyes. They look like opposites of each other, yet complimentary somehow. Jeongguk likes it.

--

Alternatively, Jeongguk wears lots of pastels and pink and loves to draw. Taehyung is practically inked from head toe and is in a band. Taehyung broadens Jeongguk's musical horizons and shows him what love is supposed to feel like.

#bamf jk #crossdressing kook #tattooed tae #tae's in a band #past abusive relationship #fluff and smut #healthy relationship #artist jk #falling in love #69k #ao3

Mileage May Vary by rix

Jeongguk is a stripper with a penchant for trouble. Taehyung is curious.

#stripper kook #age difference #bottom kook #smut #falling in love #80k #ao3

Camerman, Swing The Focus by augustdarling

“I thought you were into landscapes recently. Why does it have to be me? More importantly, why does it have to be me naked?”

“Because artists want to capture beautiful things, baby,” Taehyung murmured, leaning down to nibble on his ear. “And you’re the most beautiful thing I know.”

Or:

Taehyung combines his two hobbies: photography and Jungkook. The results are even better than expected.

#basically pwp #bottom kook #dom tae #canon #exhibitionism #humiliation #2k #ao3

You Are My Chosen One by C_Stress

Jungkook starts his first year at Hogwarts..what could possibly go wrong?

#hogwarts au #slytherin jk #gryffindor tae #bottom kook #fluff and smut #secrets #falling in love #45k #a03

Of cigarette smoke and alcohol by fluffy-lychee

Taehyung likes to dye his hair.

Jungkook struggles with the opinion of Taehyungs mother about their relationship.

#no real fluff #nor real smut #but always close enough #2k #aff

pick me up, buttercup by vppa

AU where your soulmate's first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet.

Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook's forearm will now forever read "Hey baby, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

What the fuck, universe.

#fluff #soulmates #crack au #9k #ao3

dark blue (this night's a perfect shade of) by memetaehyung (21cg)

jungkook has never seen the world and taehyung is determined to show him it

#blind jk #fluff #bit smut #bit angst #bottom kook #8k #ao3

Mischief Managed by Vanteblack

Basically a Hate to Love Uni AU but at Hogwarts because I'm a slut for Harry Potter lmao. Also you start at Hogwarts at age 15 instead of 11 so everyone in the story is over age.

#hogwarts au #secret relationship #hate to love #slytherin kook #hufflepuff tae #rated #fluff and smut #20k #ao3

Don't Let Your Love Go To Waste by krscnl

Taehyung and Jungkook meet on Omegle.

#college au #actor tae #writer kook #life through the years #at one point established taekook #41k #ao3

fellas is it gay to want ur hot roommate to dick u down? By hunnydews

Jeongguk tunes them out as they argue, it’s normal and happens often. Instead, he takes out his phone and decides to google "how do you know if your friend is gay for you?"

~~

Jeongguk comes to the realization that he's def not as straight as he thought and he starts to explore that realization with himself and with his hot dormmate/best bro, Taehyung.

The stupid college au no one asked for but i wanted so here we are almost 20k later :)

#college #coming out #excessive use of the word bro #friends to lovers #bottom kook #cuties #19k #ao3

got a kiss (with your name on it) by marienadine

“I just—I just thought, like. Maybe I wouldn’t be so horrible if someone more experienced than me taught me what to do.”

#inexperienced kookie #college #roommates #bros #friends to lovers #first kiss #practicing #bottom kook #11k #ao3

I forget to breathe (when i'm with you) by locks

"Do we have a deal, angel," Taehyung repeats, and Jeongguk can hear that he's losing his patience, hands resting on his hips.

Jeongguk lifts his head, snapping the lid closed. "Pleasure doing business with you, daddy," he nods, sending a grin up to Taehyung who just narrows his eyes at him.

"You're lucky I like you," Taehyung mutters, sounding mildly threatening as he steps over to him and tilts Jeongguk's chin up, leaning down to press a kiss against his lips.

Lucky doesn't even come close.

Or, Jeongguk's trying to figure out how he ended up with a sugar daddy when all he wanted was a couple packets of instant noodles.

#non sexual daddy kink #sugar daddy tae #tattooed kook #aged-up #tae in heels #soft nicknames #praise kink #fluff and smut #bottom tae #sub top jungkook #fashionista tae #realistic description of a relationship #111k #ao3

Suspenders, Daddy Issues & Miracles of Halloween by chimscharli

It's nearly Halloween when Jungkook can't stop stealing glances at Taehyung during practice, and wonders when exactly everything went so wrong. It's nearly Halloween when Jungkook is in a coma, and doesn't want to see Taehyung when he wakes. It's nearly Halloween when Taehyung walks in on Jungkook moaning his name.

It's nearly Halloween, and maybe it's time Jungkook stopped being so afraid. Maybe it's time a miracle happened.

#real daddy issues #and daddy kink #smut #sub jungkook #lots of kissing #happy ending #hate to love #violence #angst #both are football players #17k #ao3

(They Long to Be) Close to You by vantoa

Kim Taehyung is a sassy and talented KBS World Sports reporter. Jeon Jeongguk the most outstanding speed skater in South Korea. They meet, hate each other and then, one eventful day, they like each other, a lot.

#speed skater jungkook #reproter/journalist taehyung #enemies to lovers #bottom tae #misunderstandings #11k #ao3

国王的小丑 by saranghaengbok

When Taehyung had announced that he would steal Yoonji from him, Jungkook had not expected that he would be the one falling for Taehyung, in the end.

#heir jungkook #prince jk #prince tae #enemies to lovers #falling in love #bottom kook #12k #ao3

Rumor Has It by buttstrife

Contrary to popular belief and multiple eyewitnesses, Taehyung did not make out with Jungkook in the pool. And no, they absolutely did not fuck in the shower rooms. Seriously.

#college #baseball player kook #swimmer tae #sut #enemies to friends to lovers #exhibitionism #manhandling #8k #ao3

make this feel like home by aeterisks

Taehyung has spent his whole life looking for excitement, but instead, he ends up finding Jeongguk; somehow, that seems to be even better.

#motorcyclist jk #fluff and smut #bottom tae #44k #ao3

Love Scarred by gjungkook

“You are unbelievable,” scoffed Jeongguk while shaking his head. “I’ve never met anyone who pisses me off as much as you do.”

Taehyung had licked his lips before he smirked, with his hand still around Jeongguk’s wrist, he stepped forward closing the distance between them. “Let me tell you why, it’s simple really...”

“You feel threatened. You know I’m better than you.”

(Jeongguk wants to win against Taehyung at everything. Win their matches in quidditch, win their spontaneous sparring sessions, win his heart— But one day, Jeongguk takes it a little too far with a single curse.)

#enemies to lovers #hogwarts au #angsty #gryffindor jk #slytherin tae #secret fuckbuddies relationship #bottom kook #denial #26k #ao3

Comeback Kids by rix

Taehyung is infuriating and Jungkook's always been easy to rile up. Which isn't the best combination, but also isn't the worst, either.

(or: Taekook as hockey fuckboy rivals)

#icehockey players kook and tae #rivals #enemies to lovers #bottom kook #fluff and smut #34k  ao3

#taekook #vkook #fic #au #rec #fic rec #taekook rec #recommendation #masterlist #ultimate #taekook rec list #taekook fic rec

[booksarelife-stuff]

i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything- Chapter 2

James Potter/ Lily Evans (Jily), minor Remus Lupin/ Sirius Black (wolfstar)

Co-authored with the amazing @queen-isabelle-writes :)

It's seventh year for the Marauders and Lily Evans. Lily and James are dealing with their feelings for each other while the war with Voldemort brews in the wings.

Canon Divergence. Angst, fluff, falling in love.

Word Count: 2,321

Read on AO3    Next Chapter   Series Master List   Master List

Chapter 2

i got a list of names and yours is in red, underline

 ~look what you made me do, taylor swift

James sighed as he climbed through the portrait of the Fat Lady and stepped into the common room. There were more people in the Common Room than James expected, mostly third years who were strewn about. He thought that Sirius would have claimed the couch by the fireplace, as it was his favorite spot to nap in the afternoon, but a group of girls occupied it instead.

James climbed up the stairs, taking them two at a time, to get to where the Marauder’s dormitory was. When he swung open the door, he found Sirius lying in Remus’s bed, fully dressed with shoes on. His eyes were closed and his long black hair had been tied back.

“You forgot which bed was yours, huh?” James asked, hitting his leg as he passed. Sirius jumped at James hitting his leg.

“No, didn’t feel like taking my shoes off,” he replied. “And I wasn’t going to sleep with them on my bed.”

James laughed a little and walked towards his bed. He threw his bag on the floor and sat on his bed. He kicked his shoes off and loosened his tie a little. He wanted nothing more than to just go and fly a few laps around the Quidditch pitch and practice his throws. He had a meeting tonight with all the prefects and Lily Evans, and James knew she wouldn’t be pleased if he arrived all sweaty and out of uniform to the meeting.

After Lily had balked so hard at James being Head Boy, he wasn’t looking forward to their time working together, despite her friendly wave last night. As much as the butterflies would erupt in his stomach when Lily walked into a room, he was tired of the constant fights. James felt as if he could rescue a dying unicorn fowl in front of her and she would scoff and stomp away.

He wanted nothing more to vent his frustrations about Lily, but he held it back, even from Sirius. James had sworn to himself that he was going to get over Evans and the most logical way to do that was to stop indulging himself in talks about her.

Sirius swung his legs over and planted his feet on the ground across from James. He brushed a strand of his long, black hair behind his ear before sighing and looking at James.

“I can’t believe this is going to be our last year here,” he said.

“I know,” James replied.

“We gotta think of big pranks. Leave with a bang.”

“Nothing too bad. Something light-hearted,” James added. “We’ll be joining the war after we finish. I don’t want our last few weeks of childhood to be filled with the guilt of a nasty prank.”

“You’re right,” Sirius agreed, nodding.

“Do you think we could do something with the giant squid?”

James would never get tried of dinners at the Great Hall. The food was always amazing, for one. But all the people that surrounded him was what made it feel special. Having been an only child, this is what he imagined having a house filled with siblings would be like. Loud, so full of life. James would miss this the most.

“Listen, the Cannons are the best team, hands down,” Sirius said, looking at Mary.

“How can you honestly say that when they haven’t won a game in three years?” she fired back, her eyes wide with annoyance.

“It’s about the spirit the team has!” Sirius exclaimed from next to James.

“The Irish team constantly wins!” Mary replied, leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

“You’re both wrong,” James interrupted. “I think that Scotland has the best tactics.”

“Oh, shut it!” Sirius said, elbowing him in the ribs lightly.

“Guys, can we argue about something else? I feel like we’ve had this conversation a million times,” Remus said, though he looked unbothered.

“I’m done with this conversation too,” Mary said, leaning back.

Sirius huffed but didn’t say anything. He loved ruffling feathers, but he had learned the hard way about pushing Mary.

“Did anyone understand the Transfiguration assignment?” Alice asked, taking advantage of the subject change. Her forehead creased as she stared down at her textbook lying open in front of her.

“I’ll help you after the meeting, Alice,” Remus replied. Alice smiled and closed the book, grateful that her night wouldn't be plagued with frustration.

James was just about to push away from the table when a sharp tap touched his shoulder. He turned to see Lily standing behind him, her face as serious as ever. James fought the urge to smile at her, knowing that if she was about to chew him out for something smiling would make it worse for him.

“We need to have a meeting before the other perfects arrive,” she said, her green eyes staring at James with indifference.

“Okay. Now?” James replied.

“Yes, now,” she said. She started walking away, leaving James to scramble to get up and follow her.

James followed her out of the Great Hall and chased her up the steps.

“How was your first day?” James asked, slipping his hands into his pocket as he finally caught up to her.

“It was fine. Got a lot of homework,” she replied.

“Same. I’m not looking forward to what work Potions is going to bring us tomorrow,” he replied.

“I doubt Potions will be too bad,” Lily said, slipping her long hair over her shoulder.

“Yeah, for you,” James said. Lily laughed a little.

They finished their walk to the Prefect room in silence. James jogged ahead and held the door open for Lily, to which she gave a quiet thank you. She set her bag down at the table and began rifling through it.

“So I made a schedule for the patrols and the areas they need to cover. I figured you should look it over and see if you agree with the placements,” Lily said, producing a piece of parchment and handing it over to James.

James looked it over, only finding one flaw with it.

“I don’t mean ruffle any feathers here, but I think it would be best if we keep the Slytherins out of the Hufflepuff area,” James replied, handing the parchment back to Lily. Lily stared at him in confusion before looking back down at the paper.

“Why would you be ruffling feathers?” Lily replied.

James sighed. He didn’t want to upset Lily by pointing out that Snape and his Death Eater friends shouldn’t be sniffing around the house with the largest muggleborn population.

“I just think it’s for the best,” James replied evenly. Lily stared at James for a second before grabbing a quill and marking things out.

“I understand. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” Lily said, frowning.

James didn’t say anything in reply. He leaned up against the table and ran a hand through his hair. He stared at Lily, who was quickly writing down changes to the schedule beside him. He didn’t say anything but instead tried to fight the feeling of fondness in his chest.

Lily looked up at him and smiled a little.

“I’m sorry for what happened on the train,” she said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

James returned the smile.

“It’s okay. I haven’t always been the best student,” he said. “I was shocked, too.”

Lily looked away and took out her wand, vanishing the incorrect schedule off the parchment before going and placing the new one on the bulletin board by the door.

Remus walked in. He smiled at Lily before coming and standing next to James.

“Something has gotten into Sirius,” Remus said, sighing. James raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you say that?” James asked.

“He took my shirt and was wearing it under his robes all day,” he said, his voice colored with confusion. “It’s not like he doesn’t have his own clothes.”

James bit his lip, fighting a smile.

“He must like yours better,” James said, keeping his smile at bay. James would be an idiot if he didn’t know exactly what his two friends were going through.

More prefects came in. Lily went around, greeting all of them as they came in, and Remus had to nudge James to start doing the same. James got up and started making rounds, formally introducing himself to the other house prefects even though he knew he’d interacted with them in one way or another before.

When the Slytherins walked in, it was as if all of the air was sucked out of the room. James watched Snape’s beady little eyes scan the room and land on Lily. She did not look at him.

James excused himself from the Hufflepuffs he was talking to and went to stand next to Lily. He knew that he was trying to give Lily space, but James couldn’t fight the urge to be near her when Snape was around, mostly because he knew how much he had hurt her. It was a way of giving support to her.

Once James had introduced himself to the group of Ravenclaws, Lily decided it was time to start the meeting. She pulled James’s sleeve, making sure he knew that he had to have a part in this too.

“Alright, everyone!” Lily announced, her voice silencing everyone. “I’m Lily Evans, and I’m Head Girl this year.”

It took James a second to realize Lily wanted him to say the same thing.

“Uh, sorry,” he began. “I’m James Potter, and I’m Head Boy.”

James ignored the look Snape was giving him.

Lily started her speech, talking about the integrity of the position of prefect. She outlined the goals and duties of the job. James had to smile at the way she spoke passionately about taking care of all the students. “And if we found out there has been any abuse of power, I’ll personally make sure that you’ll lose your position, if not get expelled. Got it?” Lily said.

“If you have any questions, we’ll be here for a little while. If not, please start your assigned patrols. Thanks, everyone,” James finished.

Most of the people left the room, eager to start their patrols for the night. James talked to a few of the prefects who had questions about their patrols and some protocols. He answered them with a smile and made sure they felt confident as they headed out. Once they left, James looked at Remus, who was giving him a look. His eye flicked in the direction behind James.

James turned around to Snape cornering Lily. She seemed to be shrinking, and her eyes had a glassy look about them. Lily’s eyes met James’s, and he was walking over there without a second thought.

“Everything alright here?” James asked, raising his voice slightly as he stood to the left of Lily.

Snape swung his head towards James, sneering. Lily quietly took a step towards James.

“We’re fine, Potter. This doesn’t concern you,” he hissed. James kept his face neutral, knowing that Snape would want a rise out of him.

“If it’s about your prefect duties, then it does concern me,” James said. “I am Head Boy afterall.”

Snape scoffed and turned towards James. James fought the urge to draw his wand.

“Yeah. I can’t believe they’re letting all this filth take care of business here at Hogwarts,” Snape spat back.

James heard Lily take a sharp breath from next to him, and James held back the fire that was flaring inside of him. Snape turned and looked at Lily, his face slightly apologetic, but James stepped in front of her, making Snape take a step back. Remus drew his wand and kept it at his side as he assessed the situation.

“Yeah, it’s a real shame you got put in this position of power,” James said, staring into Snape’s beady eyes. “Now leave.”

“I want to talk to Lily alone,” Snape argued.

Lily stepped forward, lightly touching James’s arm as she stood beside him.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said. Her voice was quiet, but firm.

Snape looked at Lily one last time before turning around and striding out of the room while his robes trailed behind him. It wasn’t until the door closed behind him that James turned and looked at Lily.

“Lil, are you alright?” James asked, touching her shoulder lightly. She had tears in her eyes, but she nodded before wiping them away with the sleeve of her robe.

“Thank you, James, Remus,” she said weakly.

“It’s no problem. Can I walk you back to the common room? We don’t have patrols until tomorrow,” James asked. He didn’t feel like letting Lily walk to the common room alone, especially since Snape had patrols tonight and she had tears in her eyes. .

She nodded. James grabbed her things, expecting her protest, but she didn’t say anything. Remus came and stood on her other side as they filed out of the prefect room and into the hallway.

The walk was quiet but quick, and soon they found themselves in the Common Room, which was buzzing with life as always. Sirius and Mary were playing Wizard Chess in the corner as Alice watched them in the recliner beside the table, her transfiguration book open in her lap.

James handed Lily her bag, and she took it with a half smile.

“Thank you,” she said.

“No problem,” he said. James watched her climb up the stairs to the room.

When she got to the top, she turned and looked at James. She waved at him, which James returned, before turning around and making her way to her dorm.

James looked at Remus who was watching him curiously.

“What, Moony?” James asked.

“Nothing,” he said, before turning away and walking towards Alice.

#jily #James Potter #Lily Evans #Lily Evans Potter #James Potter/Lily Evans #marauders era #hp #Harry Potter #minor wolfstar #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #inspired by taylor swift like always #jily fic #jily fanfic #Harry Potter fanfic #James x Lily

[therighthandofvengeance]

I will love you as long as the sun burns in the sky, as long as the moon shines its light into the dark night, until the raging blue oceans become calm and run dry, I will love you until the end of time. - "Until the End of Time" by Christy Ann Martine

#babylon 5 #b5 #for once it's not an incorrect quote #b5 moodboard #moodboard monday #john sheridan #delenn of mir #john x delenn #revised by everythingisstardust #the light of her life #in this house we take canon's angst and make it hurt a million times worse #Delenn's grief is my grief because Mira was Just That Good™ #and JMS's kick-ass writing #she cannot sleep if there is no light #the only way for her to sleep is by SLEEPING IN LIGHT #screaming and sobbing #i'm fine this is fine #I definitely wasn't crying as I made this #it's a cliché until JMS makes it a motif and you cannot change my mind

[therighthandofvengeance]

“It [ballet] is a perfect medium for the expression of spiritual love.” - Ayn Rand

#babylon 5 #b5 #for once it’s not an incorrect quote #b5 moodboard #moodboard monday #talia winters #russian winter #space wlw being space wlw #star crossed lovers #talia winters deserved better #divided loyalties #divided loyalties gets me every time #without fail #in this house we take canon's angst and make it hurt a million times worse