#is this a fic or a critique

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok yknow what? The Winchesters panel is tomorrow, the PILOT is NEXT WEEK, I don’t want to wait til november/til i can format this to work with ao3. Here yall go. Sorry for the long post, I fixed the entire finale.

Sam and Dean Winchester are not human beings. It’s hard to say if they ever were, but they definitely aren’t anymore. This may sound strange, but hear me out: many sources agree that descendants of Cain are not human, by definition. Even aside from that, if a person repeatedly dies and more or less physically fights their way out of every variety of Christian afterlife, it would be a considerable stretch of logic to still consider them a fully human being. Unfortunately for anyone trying to figure out exactly what Sam and Dean are, the only instance of a confirmed Descendant Of Cain is Grendel, from Beowulf. (source: Beowulf, translation by Seamus Heaney, lines 100-110)

“Grendel was the name of this grim demon Haunting the marches, marauding round the heath And the desolate fens; he had dwelt for a time In misery among the banished monsters, Cain’s clan, whom the creator had outlawed And condemned as outcasts. For the killing of Abel The Eternal Lord had exacted a price: Cain got no good from committing that murder Because the Almighty made him anathema, And out of the curse of his exile there sprang Ogres and elves and evil phantoms And the giants too who strove with God Time and again until He gave them their final reward.”

In terms of appearance, Grendel is never described in the text. He has been referred to as an archetype, a monster, an evil or corrupted human, a demon, or a forest spirit. In Beowulf, Grendel was immune to iron weapons ( Beowulf lines 986-989) but the only other widely accepted canon source on the subject, the book “Grendel” by John Gardner, puts forward the idea that that specific power comes from the outside source of The Dragon (Gardner, 75).

When Grendel was killed, his mother (also a monster of some sort) came back the next night for revenge/further murdering. While this is not a 1:1 comparison, it seems a fair guess to say that these creatures (I will be referring to them as Grendels from here onward) usually come in pairs and have strong familial loyalty. In Supernatural, the dynamic is a bit reversed: while they are siblings, Dean did essentially raise Sam. Despite this, Dean takes the main-Grendel role of initiating melee combat, while Sam takes the role held by the original Grendel’s Mother, as the more cautious and magic-focused backup/range fighter (Or at least, Sam SHOULD be doing that. Instead he lives his life like a dnd wizard trying to play a tank, refusing to learn actual magic and getting KO’d in every fight.)

                                                                              ----------  

Moving on, let’s talk about Cas, or Cassiel in the actual Lore (but also spelled Castiel, Kafziel, Qafziel, etc). Yes, Cassiel is a real angel, thought he is not mentioned in the bible at all. In fact, he mainly exists in Kabbalistic studies, some extra-canonical Christian texts, various esoteric beliefs, and, randomly, as a tragic main character in a fairly obscure German Art House film about angels (Faraway, So Close, dir. Wim Wenders). Cassiel’s history of use as a tragic (and ultimately doomed) figure in modern media is likely due to certain aspects of his lore: *note: for this and following sections, I have opted to use screenshots directly from the source material

(Of course he likes crocodiles. It's the perfect level of random)  

(Still not sure how Supernatural managed to totally flip the color scheme)

                                                                                -------------

It is extremely ironic that Cassiel, an angel that Kripke has said he chose “at random” as a name for the character in Supernatural, followed the lore so perfectly that many things about Cassiel work to fill in some much-needed context/backstory for Our Cas. Setting this aside, however, let’s look at the part that is most relevant to the finale. 

Though he is also associated with Cybelle and Proserpina/Persephone, due to his rulership of the planet Saturn, Cassiel has much stronger ties to the god Saturn, the zodiac sign of Capricorn, and the new year, all of which only strengthen his connections to the archetypes of death, rebirth and time.  

Cas, in a way, is Saturn, or at least a different version/manifestation of that being. The Lord Of Time, an uncommonly isolated spirit of midwinter and the new year, associated with agriculture and the harvest, the dude who Saturnalia is for, the Lord of Misrule in his chaotic aspect, etc, etc....  

Also, Saturn is the Roman version of the titan Kronos. We meet Kronos one time in spn canon, in Season 7 episode 12. He was largely forgotten as a monster-of-the-week encounter, but after Cas’ final death in season 15, the fandom took renewed notice of Kronos, specifically his dying foretelling the futures of Sam, Dean and Cas:

Coincidentally, in this episode, Kronos was killed by the Winchesters for Doing Bad Guy Things in order to protect a human who he’d fallen in love with, in defiance of that human being fated to die-  A parallel to Cas & Dean’s relationship that only becomes more apparent as the series progresses

In Greco-Roman mythology, Saturn/Kronos is overthrown by the gods, Zeus (his son) becomes king in his place, and Kronos is chopped to pieces and, as he is immortal and unable to be fully killed, thrown into the pit of Tartarus:  

Tartarus is by far the best match I’ve seen to what, and why, The Empty is. Note that Tartarus, like The Empty, is both a place and a primordial deity at the same time.

*fun fact- even though Saturn was FAR more respected in Rome, his statues’ feet were still bound with wool to symbolically “bind” the god’s chaos, and were only unbound during Saturnalia, when social roles were meant to be overturned

                                                                          --------------

Before detaling the actual events of the finale, here’s a rundown of the other major characters:  

-Jack is Jack. Literally. A “Jack” is a folkloric archetype from northern Europe, think of Jack The Giant Killer, Jack Frost, Jack And The Beanstalk, Jack O’ The Lantern. Stories often portray all of these Jacks as some variation of the same person. “Jack” as a character is usually young, either naive or “foolish”, bold, impulsive, and unshakeable. In fact, Jack in folklore is often found interacting with God and Satan, tricking and/or humiliating them both, usually within the same story. In many endings of the tale, Jack finds himself banned from Heaven AND Hell for his actions, and, depending on the story, either tricks his way back into heaven in a way that makes it impossible for him to be kicked back out, or, more commonly, convinces Satan to give him one of Hell’s embers to see and keep warm by, and wandering forever with that light, becomes Jack O’ The Lantern. This does mean that our Jack will likely not last long as God. Jacks, no matter how much power they get, rarely manage to keep it. However, could there be any better choice than Jack Kline to be in charge of Halloween?

(The answer is no. This is perfect.)

-Baby/The Impala, is, as much of the fandom has theorized for years, a sentient creature that can take human form. Weirdly, I have found no Human!Impala theories or fics that references Baby’s ability to travel impossible distances (such as Kansas to LA in less than a night), which make it very obvious that Baby is not a car. Specifically, Baby is a Pooka, a type of Fae shapeshifter known for taking equine form:

While John Winchester did buy a Chevrolet Impala, it is doubtful that this car lasted long into Sam and Dean’s childhood. It’s more than likely that John wrecked the original car driving drunk, since the most common way in which someone can encounter (and possibly control) a Pooka goes as such: 

John probably used the above-mentioned horsehair bridle method used to gain control of her, specifically by wrapping the hairs around the car‘s keyring, as the keys to a car are the closest equivalent to a horse’s bridle. Additionally, while the car itself has been heavily damaged in-canon, the keys have remained intact. John never told Sam and Dean about the change to their car, but then again, he never told them a lot of important things.  

Whatever Baby may have thought of John Winchester, I imagine that having two baby Grendels constantly left in her “care” was more than enough for her to feel some bond or responsibility towards Sam and Dean from fairly early on.  

Also, Dean took REALLY good care of her, talked to her, and almost definitely left a few Playboy magazines in the car-  an unwittingly amazing gift for a shapeshifter who often appears as a human with rabbit ears.

Lastly, Fae really, REALLY, don’t like pet dogs. Remember this. It is going to be extremely relevant.  

*last minute edit: Bobby is a Tanuki. This is relevant to absolutely nothing, but is very funny. Balls

                                                                         --------

Now, as for the actual events of the finale:

-Cold Iron has been a long-running concept throughout spn canon, primarily for its ability to cancel magic and either weaken or insta-kill all sorts of things, including demons and Fae. In America, cold-wrought iron was phased out of use as a construction material towards the end of the 1800s. Coincidentally, the barn from the finale episode matches the construction of barns from the mid-late 1800s. In case I’m not being clear here: Dean is not human. Dean is a Grendel (*last minute edit: even if he still was still somewhat human before s15, Sam and Dean worked with Michael and Lucifer in 15x19. Dean had just lost the love of his life, the entire human population of the world had vanished, and he was about to literally fight god. He would have easily been desperate enough to agree to let Lucifer kill/turn him on the spot in exchange for Cas/returning everyone who got thanos snapped/the ability to win a fistfight against Literal God). With no angels, Pookas or other beings alive to magically protect him, and no idea that he had to/was able to protect himself, Dean was not immune to iron. Staking a demon or Fae through the back with cold iron will kill it.

That’s Dean’s death explained. What about Sam? ...Buckle up, because this is where it gets wild.  

-Féar Gortach/Hungry Grass is definitely an obscure cryptid. It is an Irish spirit/phenomena that takes the form of a patch of grass or field that (depending on the telling) has been cursed by Fairies, covers a grave, is related to the famine, or any combination of these things. There are not many accounts of it, but this one is one of the most well known, and also extremely relevant here. It’s a short read, but I have included screenshots of the relevant section below:

(*Last Minute Edit: it could have been a different Fae- lots of more malevolent Fae or Fae-aligned creatures use this method to harm or kill humans., but I personally would bet on this one)

Earlier in spn canon, Sam and Dean defeated, but did not kill, the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Their encounter with Famine was unique, both because of Famine’s method of preying on the individual weaknesses of each person, and because of the encounter’s clear open-endedness.  

Many, many stories exist of people who are abducted by Fae or similar creatures and, while under that creature’s power, experience a whole lifetime within the space of a day (or a day over the course of a whole lifetime, but the first version is the one relevant here). If this person can escape the illusion, they are often drastically physically aged due to the experience.

This is the last image we see of Sam in the flash-forward, before he dies.

This is the horseman of Famine 

This is Sam before the finale 

And THIS is how Sam’s “Son” appears at Sam’s death in the flash-forward.  

So, as a play-by-play:

-Cas, seemingly like every other entity with rulership over Saturn, got sucked into Tartarus.  

-Chuck (whether or not he regained power in Heaven later) gives Sam and Dean a final “fuck you” by sending them a pet dog, which, while definitely a Good Boy, interferes with Baby’s ability to protect them from most Fae magic, including their own weakness to Cold Iron.

- In the final fight with the mimes, Dean is shoved over an iron stake, and, since neither Sam is not aware of his and Dean’s true nature, Dean dies before Sam can figure out what is happening. (*last minute edit: Dean probably asked Sam not to bring him back bc 1) where do Grendels even GO when they die, 2) they might go to Tartarus, and Dean is obviously extremely okay with that, and most importantly 3) he does not want his little brother’s last memory of him to be finding out that he’s a demon/bringing him back and possibly having to kill him)  

-Sam walks out of the barn to get whatever you need to get in that situation, and, since he’s grieving and desperate, he’s an easy target for the hungry grass, which is waiting in the cornfields surrounding the barn. My best guess is that the grass used its illusions to appear as either Eileen, or someone else that Sam trusted, and led him deeper into the field by promising a way to have Dean back. By the next morning, Sam is dead in the cornfield less than 50 feet from the barn, and Famine, having drained every last bit of magic/energy/life force from Sam, now appears as the young man we see in Sam’s final moments.

-Sam and Dean are haunting the bridge from the final scene (ironic). (*last minute edit: at least Dean is. he’s obviously still there. where tf is Sam. is he on the bridge also, just stuck in a DIFFERENT time loop? if so that’s fucked up, but if not. WHERE IS HE)

-Jack is probably back on earth and/or already having a great time as The New King Of Halloween (*last minute edit. before anyone says he should be working on saving Sam/Dean/Cas. he’s FIVE YEARS OLD. LET HIM BE A KID IN WHATEVER WAY HE CAN)

-Baby is either bothering Adam/Michael (as she still serves the Winchester family line), or has been captured by Famine, if he took the keyring when he killed Sam.  

*Also, despite this scene being the butt of many fandom jokes, Dean got to heaven and immediately started driving because the LAST time he ended up in heaven, he got out by following the highway, and found out he was dead by hearing Cas talk to him over the car radio (s5 ep16).  

Now, how can this be fixed?

For Sam and Dean, there are two options. The first assumes that there is at least some echo of them haunting that bridge. I am admittedly unsure as to whether this would mean that part of Heaven is linked to the bridge, or that, like many ghosts, Sam and Dean are stuck to one physical location while believing that they are able to move freely. While there is very little written on how to reverse the effects of Cold Iron OR the Hungry Grass, it is widely accepted that running water can be a source of healing for some Fae, and harm for others. As the original Grendel lived in a lake, I’m assuming that Grendels are the type to be healed by water.  Also, it has an easy point of access in current canon, and is hilarious.

The other option works no matter where their spirits/souls are, and involves finding and healing their bodies. Healing (or more lore-accurately, “freeing”) Dean would likely consist of finding a way to release the cold iron’s hold on his physical body, and then using some method to wake him up. I do imagine that, since Cold Iron reveals a creature’s true form as well as trapping it, Dean can only come back as a Demon at this point. He might not like it, but it’s that or be dead.  

Sam is way more straightforward- in the episode where they fought Famine, he used Sam’s craving for demon blood at the time to taunt him. Now, Famine literally drained Sam dry. ...Therefor, demon blood. Not a pretty process, involves killing several demons beforehand, Sam didn’t handle it too well last time, but, again, it’s the best way to have him not be dead.  (*last minute edit: found an alternative re: this weird old poem called “The Goblin Market”. appears to describe a young woman who was attacked and rapidly aged in a very similar way, but is healed by eating fairy/goblin fruits. idk how to get that but we already know a Pooka so that’s a start)

TLDR, any way to have the Winchesters not be dead will have to involve them being demons, permanently.  

Now, for Cas, there are three main options, leading to a slightly different mythological primordial void (*last minute edit: assuming that Heaven has given up trying too brainwash or control Cas, and are keeping him locked up in The Empty/Tartarus when they don’t need him. They obviously did let him out for a bit recently, though, as the Queen of England did die and Cassiel is the angel in charge of that shit) 

The Greco-Roman route is Cool and finally forces some of the Actual Cassiel Lore into spn canon.

(*last minute edit: discovered some Lore abt heaven’s methods of memory erasure. has heavy connections to myths abt Tartarus. tldf if The Empty= Tartarus, it is likely that Cas has lost some or all of his memories, Because Magic Greek Hell Rivers. Apparently)

The Norse route is a fairly uncommon choice of underworld in modern fantasy, relatively unguarded, and definitely interesting.  

And of course the Christian route is familiar to the point of predictability, allows plenty of opportunities for old characters to return for an episode or two, works as a road trip story arc that I’m shocked hasn’t been done in canon already, and ends with Sam, Dean and Cas hiding out in Purgatory, providing a scenario with high potential for emotional reunions/soft Destiel moments/hurt-comfort with an emphasis on comfort, and a chance for Sam and Dean to explore purgatory now that they themselves are demons. 

(Technically there IS a fourth route, consisting of going back to the earthside entrance to Lucifer’s Cage and trying to break through to whatever’s on the other side of The Cage... but that feels both too simple to be good storytelling, and WAY too risky if something goes wrong. Still, it’s worth considering)

---------

....anyway.  I’m seriously impressed with anyone who reads this far- this is A Whole Entire Fucking Lot All At Once. Am I just posting it now bc I’m worried that  I might be right (specifically about the Grendel Thing), and I won’t look as cool if The Winchesters beats me to the punch? ....yes. I am that petty. 

Signed,  

-Jamie (He/She/They)  

Sources:  

Beowulf, translation by Seamus Heaney

Grendel by John Gardner

http://www.archangels-and-angels.com/aa_pages/correspondences/angel_planet/archangel_cassiel.html

https://mythology.net/angels/cassiel/  

https://www.theblackfeatherintuitive.com/who-is-archangel-cassiel-the-archangel-of-duality/  

https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/Chronos

https://www.history.com/news/history-of-the-jack-o-lantern-irish-origins)

https://www.yourirish.com/folklore/irish-pookas#:~:text=A%20Pooka%20is%20a%20shapeshifter,mane%20and%20luminescent%20golden%20eyes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%BAca  

https://britishfairies.wordpress.com/2019/12/01/the-hair-of-the-dog-fairies-dogs/

https://wizzley.com/fear-gortha-the-irish-hungry-grass/ , https://obscurban-legend.fandom.com/wiki/Hungry_Grass

https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Side_of_the_Moon

#spn #spn fix it fic #tw dean's death #beowulf #the winchesters #dean winchester #sam winchester #media analysis #is this a fic or a critique #folklore #Fae #celtic folklore #Kabbalism #Esoteric Christianity #angelology #mythology #Pooka #Grendel #saturn #kronos #spn whump #(i guess it counts) #uhhhh just consider this my entire suptober entries for the year all at once #suptober #suptober 2022 #destiel #i can not and will not be stopped. #long post

[amoena55]

One thing abt haikyuu fans is they fucking LOVE to put some regular ass guys in a Situation

#haikyuu #THIS IS NOT A CRITIQUE THERES A REASON HAIKYUU FICS BANG #like what do you mean EARLY 1900S POLAR EXPLORATION AU ????? #how did you think of that ?????? #how did we get here from volleyball ????? #skts #sakuatsu #atsumu #miya atsumu #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #iwaoi

[mostlymaudlin]

oh the notes on that poll about whether it’s ok to publicly criticize fic scare me LOL y’all are so entitled to the product of peoples free time I can’t stand it. in an age where freaks will throw every homophobic dog whistle in the books at fic authors for anything that makes them mildly uncomfortable/doesn’t align with their personal headcanons, I see no reason why any of us should care about adding caveats about when it MIGHT be socially acceptable to publicly critique the free stories strangers are posting for their own enjoyment … “art is meant to be critiqued” have you ever heard of letting people have fun ?

#if your friend asks you for critique then that is like 100% not what we’re talking about ! #unless you want ppl to stop writing…. ​stop making losers comfortable bullying fic authors

[matutito]

having a normal one about this fanfic by @splinnters

commissions info

my little guys

#art #my art #my post #tmnt casey jones #tmnt raph #tmnt 2012 #rasey #teenage mutant ninja turtles #my ONLY critique (?) is that raph would not listen to mother mother.. he prob listens to some obscure shitty finnish death metal band #whatever this fic will live in my head for like three months at least

[wh0re-behavi0r]

buddie captain america au

like the petals in our pockets (may we remember who we are) by @buckttommy

looking for you but you're right on time (angel of mine) by @wh0re-behavi0r

#buddie fics #buddie fanart #buck x eddie #my art #hmm what else to tag #911 #captain america #stucky #cuz its the best crossover #trying not to critique myself and just accept that i made a piece

[theshippirate22]

having thoughts about Robin freaking out because she doesn’t know how to kiss and she’s got a date tonight and what the fuck is she supposed to do and asking Steve to teach her and of course he gives her a lesson (typical practice-makes-perfect kind of lesson) but it sucks lowkey because they’re next level platonic that it just doesn’t work and he starts freaking out too because he realizes he hasn’t kissed anyone since ‘84 and he’s convinced he’s forgotten how to do it.

at which point, he calls Nancy to come over and help (because she was his last kiss yk? it makes sense to him somehow) they kiss for a while to try and figure out what’s wrong, but then Nancy is like, this is stupid, if we’re teaching Robin why am i re-teaching you so you can teach her when we can cut out the middle man and i can teach her directly, so then Nancy and Robin start kissing

at which point, Eddie wanders over to bug Steve and walks in on Nancy straddling Robin’s lap and Steve watching them make out and ohohohoho boyyyy he’s gotta stick around and see where this goes

which then becomes, Nancy kissing Eddie to see if it’s different enough that it’s a big deal, then telling Robin to kiss Eddie just in case, which is *horrible* for both of them because while Eddie may be bi, Robin is NOT his type and he’s certainly NOT hers

then eventually, Nancy decides she’s good enough to go on her date (Robin decided 45 minutes ago that she’s going to cancel the date and see if Nancy wants to meet her at Skull Rock wink wink) so they leave

And it’s then and only then that Eddie admits he doesn’t know how to kiss either, and Steve, charming hero that he is, is like oh! well i just remembered so I can show you now! and next thing they know they’re hooking up on Steve’s couch

#thoughts? #should i write a fic #i mean i probably will anyway for myself #but do y’all wanna see it #also ideas and critiques welcome! #steddie #ronance #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steddie fic #ronance fic #stranger things #fruity four #ronance smut #steddie smut

[fortheloveofexy]

man some of the people in the tags of that poll on critiquing fanfic pissed me off so much. I can tell you right now that if enough people like that turned up in my comments acting that self-important and entitled, I'd stop posting updates completely and take down all of my fics.

#im here to have fun #not endure unsolicited critique from strangers #fanfic is fun BECAUSE there is no inherent pressure to get better and be amazing at it #like #that is the whole point!! #sometimes you can just enjoy things for the sake of them and not for the sake of “getting better” #genuinely if i see someone doing this i immediately lose respect for them #even if its not my fic theyre doing it to #like i genuinely think less of you as a person if you pull this kind of shit #its a huge ick for me

[3lostyears]

i’ve seen a lot of criticism about rose in turn left and i understand why to an extent, but i just reread the script and the way RTD describes rose coming up to donna at the end is “solemn and kind” and i love that.

like, the episode literally compares the parallel universe to being a dream, hence why donna can’t remember it. the doctor says “[that woman] never existed now” when donna is first trying to remember rose. by the doctor’s own words rose probably could have just agreed with what donna said about the world blinking out of existence.

but she doesn’t, because presumably she knows that donna - this donna - is going to have to sacrifice herself, either because the readings say so or because she knows that sometimes in a bad dream you have to kill yourself to wake yourself up. she doesn’t just use donna as a means to an end, she doesn’t even truly manipulate her into killing herself - she warns her pretty early on that this will end in her death. but rose respects this version of donna enough to treat her death seriously, with the same weight a “true” death would warrant. she cares that this donna is going to get hit by a car, feel that pain and terror, before she blinks out of existence.

#there’s definitely stuff to critique with how she’s written but the bones of it i like #and i think comparisons to nine are very apt #imagine if i could write fic and not just text posts but alas #rose tyler #turn left #doctor who #dw meta

[thatsafuckeduptale]

I CANNOT KEEP FORGETTING TO UPLOAD THIS SO HERE IT IS

This is a fic based off of @pancake-shmamcake's bad end pacifist AU, please note the fic is not proof read, beta read, or even written that well considering it was written at 1am while I was super tired.

The fic has been done since the 20th and I've been hoping that I would get the inspiration/drive to rewrite it or proof read it but unfortunately that has yet to happen <:( So please do not critique my writing as I am already aware of all of the problems it has.

This fic has character death and body horror in it! It also contains some spoilers for the Pacifist ending for undertale yellow. Link to the AU post here and a link to the Amalgam's design is here.

Ceroba couldn’t breathe. The air surrounding her was suffocating and heavy with regret. Her SOUL burned within her chest, screaming at her that she’s made a mistake. A mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life. How could this go so wrong? How could she have known that this would have been the end result? The fox monster wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and curse and swear at the world for being so cruel; but she couldn’t. She was stock still as she watched the shambling child shaped mass regain its balance on shaking legs. She watched as the mask that bore her daughter's resemblance slip and fall from its face, revealing a gaping hole.

Ceroba wanted to cry out her frustrations… but she was scared. Not scared of the security bots nor the royal scientist she had knocked out, but scared of the being she had inadvertently created. A fusion of her fallen down daughter… and the human she slaughtered mercilessly to obtain her goal. Ceroba watched as the amalgam bent down, searching the ground for the mask it had dropped. The fox waited with baited breath as it clumsily moved, shambling slowly towards where the mask lay. When the amalgam had finally located the mask it held it gently, before placing it back upon the gaping hole. Ceroba felt her magic run cold as the fusion of her daughter and the human looked at her. The cold, unfeeling eyes of the mockery of her sins stared through her. Instead of reacting to her, though, it instead focused on the torn and burnt cowboy hat lying a few feet in front of her. It reacted in excitement, a gurgling noise erupting from behind the mask as it limped towards the hat. The amalgam excitedly picked up the hat, far faster than it had lifted its own face, and gently put it upon its head. The face of Kanako remained unmoving. Unchanging as it adjusted the hat to its liking.

Then it looked back at her; and Ceroba wishes she could reset and go back. The expression on the mask was one she knew… the one she saw on her daughter before she fell down. Agony. Ceroba desperately cursed whatever higher being was out there. Whatever higher being was punishing her. This was beyond cruel. This was beyond penance. Had she not paid for her crimes already? Could she not have a happy ending? Her thoughts were ripped from her when she heard her name being yelled. The amalgam standing across from her perked at the voice, recognition dawning on it immediately. No. No no no no no no no. Ceroba wanted to stand up, to ward off her best friend from seeing what she had done. Yet the shock from what had happened chained her down. Kneeling on the cold tile of the Royal scientist’s secret lab.

“Ceroba! You can’t-“ The sheriff’s voice died in his throat as he entered, not even making it a few feet before he froze. Ceroba couldn’t stand to turn and face him. Even if she could, she knew the expression on his face would kill her inside. More footsteps followed from behind him and a cacophony of voices frantically tried to convince her to drop her plans. As soon as the others entered the room though, all their cries had died. Ceroba could hear Martlet and Moray gasp, Edward had choked on his own voice, she could even hear Mooch’s claws catch on the sleeve of Ace’s coat. Ceroba wished her body would cooperate. She wished she could stand up. Explain this horrible tragedy away. Instead, someone else spoke up.

“Un…cle… st…arl…o…” Ceroba could feel the bile rising in her throat. The voice from the amalgam was an echoing fusion of the human’s voice and her daughters. Overlapping and twisting into a horrible chorus she would give anything to forget. Ceroba flinched when she heard the thud behind her. Someone had passed out.

“No…” Starlo’s voice was strained. The fox monster didn’t need to look behind her to know how he looked. The expression of horror and realization. “Ceroba… you…” please don’t. I’m sorry. She willed her voice to work. She willed her body to speak.

Instead, the world decided it wasn’t done with her yet. Sharp bullets sliced through her as she was knocked back by a force of wind. The shock was enough to shake her from her stupor, and she stared wide eyed at her attacker. Martlet stood above her, snarling as best a bird with a beak could. “What did you do.” It wasn’t a question, not an optional one.

“I’m sorry.” Ceroba choked out the words she knew would do nothing. Closing her eyes as the royal guard member flicked her wing, sending a cascade of feather shaped bullets into her body.

“Sorry? You’re SORRY?!” Martlet’s voice was rising, anger and grief lacing every word. “You KILLED Clover! You hurt your own daughter! That wasn’t enough for you!? You had to do it again?!” Ceroba choked on her sobs. Her body aching and stinging from the cuts the feathers had left. She blinked back her tears as she gazed upon the royal guardsman. Angry tears filled the bluebird's eyes as she glowered back. Before the bird could attack again massive arms picked the bird monster up.

“Hey! You need to calm down!”

“How could I calm down! You see what she’s done? She deserves this! She-“

“You’re scaring the kids!”

Both Ceroba and Martlet froze. Their heads swinging back to the amalgam, who was in the tight embrace of the sheriff.

He held them tightly, mumbling apologies and sobbing between every word as he comforted them. The amalgam gurgled as it pat and rubbed his back, a feeble attempt at comfort. Ceroba couldn’t hear what he was saying from where she laid on the floor, but she knew it was probably apologies for how she had acted; and apologies for what she had done.

Her attention turned to the other three in the feisty five. Her heart sank when she realized it was Moray who had collapsed earlier. Their head laid on Mooch’s lap and tail as Ace attempted to heal them with green magic.

…this was all wrong. It shouldn’t have gone this way. It was supposed to go how Chujin predicted. Kanako was supposed to be healed and break the barrier.

A loud sob dragged Ceroba back to the tragedy before her. Martlet and Edward had joined Starlo with the amalgamate. The bird hugged them tightly as Starlo and Edward hung back. Martlet sobbed out apology after apology to the twisted fusion, to which it replied by patting her head and gurgling. To her surprise, it was Edward who approached her.

She stared up at him, as he stared down at her. “…you know what’s going to happen… right?” His voice was quiet. Ceroba glanced away, anxiety bubbling in her gut. “The king’s going to find out about this… and you’ll be punished.” She knew that no matter what she’d be punished by the Crown. Why bother reminding her of what she already knew? “… and Kanako and Clover are going to be experimented on.” That got her attention.

“No-!” She tried to sit up, but cried out in pain and collapsed back on the floor. Everything hurt. Her body, her SOUL, her mind. She hadn’t even considered that! Success or not, the king would probably want Kanako studied regardless! Ceroba gasped for air desperately as she clawed at the tiles furiously. She couldn’t- wouldn’t let them rip her daughter away from her again! Edward’s gaze held pity in it. Pity that made her want to rip it from his expression and beat him with it. Ceroba wouldn’t lose her daughter again! No-!

“Ceroba… it’s time to give it up.” Her body froze as Starlo’s voice cut through the air like ice. He had never spoken to her like that before. “I think you’ve done enough damage.” Ceroba desperately looked at him, but he avoided her gaze. His hat hid his expression as he knelt next to the amalgam, next to Martlet still holding onto them for dear life. “I… I know you just wanted to help Kanako… but gosh darn it, Ceroba!” His voice broke as he held back a sob. “You really messed up this time… I tried so hard to help… to make you happy, but… but I can’t help you now.” Starlo’s body shook. “I… you…” Ceroba watched with guilt as he lifted his hat to furiously wipe at his eyes with his sleeve. The amalgam noticing and reaching out to him in an attempt to comfort and console him.

“You ruined two lives trying to fulfill Chujin’s legacy… you couldn’t just let his legacy be helping others with a smile on his face… you had to-!” Martlet’s wings flew up to her hair as she stood and swung her body to face Ceroba. “You had to corrupt it! You had to turn his legacy into this!?” Edward quickly rushed to Martlet’s side to stop her from attacking the fox again. He wrapped her into a tight hug, pinning her wings to her side to prevent another hail of bullets.

Ceroba could feel her adrenaline fading. The stress was finally catching up to her. The anguished cries from Starlo as he held the amalgamate and the rage filled screams from Martlet becoming white noise in her head. All she could see once she closed her eyes… was the blood stained body of Clover, and the soulless expression of her daughter’s mask. 

#undertale yellow #my fics #undertale yellow spoilers #god i don't want to tag everybody in it can i just die instead #sorry for how bad it is btw but I legitimately cannot bring myself to rewrite it and I'm scared I'll keep forgetting it #I'm serious btw do not critique me AT ALL I am 100% aware of every problem and issue with it. #unwanted critique will get you blocked. respect my boundaries or fuck off #I'm not going to be nice about it

[lilacs-in-space]

#Welcome to the low effort memes I put in my group chats #I am that person who throws badly paint.js'd images into chat at every oppertunity #fanfic #This came from another spirited discussion over whether commenting is good even if it's not in-depth or offering critique (IT IS) #I will never understand people who treat interaction with fanfic like a high school book report #I've left comments on peoples fics like 'yo this fic slaaaaped. Love what you're doing with the genre. Keep it up' #The authors didn't seem to mind!

[inevitablestars]

there are some people who just shouldn't be allowed to speak. like you had your chance to say things that are acceptable and failed so now you don't get to talk at all

#this was sitting in my drafts and i forget why #but! it's still applicable #with all this shit of people critiquing fics? like shut up!!!!!! no one asked!!!!!! #these bitches need to be taken out back and slaughtered and silenced #if you don't like something then stop interacting with it or complain to a friend NOT publicly #i wish fandom was still soemthing that people were embarrassed about and was not at all mainstream or popularized #bc then the mean girls wouldn't be here causing problems just bc they want to be part of fandom like do you not get it #we are here for funsies and don't care if it's embarassing not everything is for consumption or popularity

[saturnsorbits]

… Okay, so maybe I’m on my own here; but I don’t think negative critique belongs in hobbiest writing spaces. There’s a few reasons why:

(Originally, I was going to attempt to be eloquent, but I haven’t got the brain power - so I offer you bullet points instead).

• A writer has to be comfortable with their own writing to begin to tear it down. Otherwise, all critique does is shake confidence and create conflict towards creating - people need to be able to create freely before they begin to analyse their own work (never mind other people offering that same critique),

• Writing is also something that is very personal. Therefore, criticism should be kept between trusted friends/beta readers who know their boundaries, what they struggle with and the intent of the piece. Sure, there is a space for ‘blind’ critique too - but that isn’t something that should be offered without consent from the writer. There’s is a reason that authors and editors usually have a close relationship.

• Which leads perfectly onto the idea that criticism HAS to be consensual. If someone doesn’t want your opinion, you don’t get to give it to them. That’s not fair. I can tell you for nothing, no-one on this site or Ao3 or whatever is looking for you to tear down their work.

• Writing is so subjective it’s honestly mind blowing. What one reader finds works for them, will not work for another. One readers pet hate, will be another’s absolute love. Sometimes people aren’t going to like your work and that, in all honesty, is fine. There are others who will love it. (The sad fact is, however, you may hear from one side of the room more than the other).

• It’s hardly ever constructive, is far too generalised, and often, in fandom spaces, comes across as quite personal.

• Moreover, the ‘getting better’ part doesn’t even matter. Not everything has to be a work of art of the highest calibre; sometimes it’s just a writer having fun. Writers should be allowed to create without the added pressure of being/getting better - it’s not a competition, we’re all just having fun and I think people forget that. More to the point, if a writer wishes to hone their craft, they will seek it out themselves.

But, I guess it all comes down to one thing: Why say something negative, when you could just say something nice, instead?

#I completely lost my love for fiction during university because of ‘bad’ critique practice - #and I signed up for that. #So; the knowledge that there are writers out here just having fun; or working through things with thier fiction… #being ‘gatekept’ by preference masquerading as so called critique makes my heart hurt a little. #Instead of writing that post about how you hate when fics have ‘X;Y;Z’ how about you just comment 3 things you loved about someone’s fic? #Wouldn’t that be nicer?

[sophiethewitch1]

Being slightly critical towards an author sometimes feels like slathering yourself in bacon grease in front of a pack of wild dogs (their fans)

#sophie speaks #i mean fic is obviously completely different because its FREE #never critique a fic author if they dont ask for it #but i think indie authors should be able to take a hit or two idk

[perfect-snaccccccc]

okay but are the productive, helpful, non-confrontational ‘critiques’ of these fan fictions in the room with us?

#yall saying critique is okay when it’s productive and not overly negative #then proceed to say the most unproductive and negative slander #write your own goddamn fanfic #you’re literally the reason people don’t wanna write anymore #the reason people don’t want to be in the fandom #your opinion literally doesn’t matter and nobody asked I’m sorry to break it to you #go outside #touch some grass #marvel at the wonders of a spiders web #why are you clutching onto your right to critique so hard that your willing to hurt peoples feelings just to keep it? #really telling on yourselves #marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #marauders fic #oisin being confused

[thepixelelf]

one time someone rbed my fic and put "4/5" in the tags... sincerely from me to any readers out there: don't do that lol

#i felt genuinely bummed that i only got a 4 so imagine if this person was rating people's fics as 3s or god forbid 2s or 1s #this is not goodreads #we are not doing this as professionals looking for critiques... at least I'm not #if i wanted constructive criticism I'd get a beta reader lol #not that a number rating with no other commentary is constructive but yeah you get what i mean #stickynotes.tpe

[erisenyo]

For the amazing @ash-and-starlight who wanted more of the hairdressing sisters from To Open Every Door to Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun and made this beautiful amazing glorious art to go with this story!

The Fire Lord needs a new hairdresser, a grueling process of vetting and testing and background checking. Sokka might know just the person, tough--if only he can find her in the city. And if only he can figure out how to make sure Zuko likes her without revealing the whole, you know. Fire Lord thing.

Or,

Sokka takes Zuko on a date in the city that does not go at all how Zuko expects it to. (At least not at first.)

Featuring Sokka's love of shopping, flirting with your boyfriend, surprise dates, an undercover Fire Lord unexpectedly hearing all the gossip about himself, a few sudden revelations, and the importance of hair.

#We do love a good freakout when you realize you've been critiquing the Fire Lord's policies in front of the Fire Lord #Just a whole lot of fun and flirting and banter #my writing #atla fic #Zukka fic