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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the Universe or So Sad So Very Very Sad

Hello all you happy Scottaholics! And welcome back to Scottrospective, my 8 part look at Scott Pilgrim: all 6 volumes of the comic as well as the game and movie just in time for their respective 10th Anniversaries. If your just joining us or needa quick refresher, here are links to the other four parts, in order: Precious Little Life, Vs The World (Comic), Infinite Sadness, and last month’s look at my favorite volume Gets It Together. And if that’s not enough to fill your belly with Scotty Goodness, hop over to my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. There you’ll find reviews of all the content I didn’t have time for in the retrospective proper: Free Scott Pilgrim, The Wonderful World of Kim Pine, Monica Beetle, Style, and the bonus comic strips. It’s only a dollar to get access to the bonus reviews, and every bit you can give not only helps me make these reviews int he first place, but gets me closer to my stretch goals, the 25 and 30 dollar ones including looks at O’Malley’s Other Works: Lost At Sea and Seconds for the former and Snotgirl for the latter.

But more than plugging my past and paid works, there’s something else far more important I need to get to before I get into this one: Thank You. No Seriously thank all of you who have been reading these, liking them. My Precious Little Life Review is easily one of the most liked things i’ve ever had on this blog, getting more viewers every day, and last month’s look at Gets it Together is STILL racking up likes. Given most of my non-duck reviews, paid for and on my own time, tend to be ignored half the time, this just warms my heart. It shows me two great things: that even after a decade Scott Pilgrim still has a huge following and given how young this platform tends to skew that it’s gaining more fans every day, and that people care about what I have to say about htis wonderful comic. It really touches me to both know my voice matters and that something I truly loved as a teen and still do now is STILL picking up more and more fans. What i’m saying is you guys are the best and I wouldn’t be doing these reviews without your support of my very hard work. These are some of the hardest reviews i’ve done at times, but seeing you all enjoy them makes it all worth it.

As for the Volume itself there’s something I just gotta get off my chest right away: I HATED this volume when it came out. To understand why you have to consider my mental state: I was a teenager at the time, in my junior year of high school. Scott Pilgrim was my goddamn world: while I was picking up comics monthly at the time this was honestly the first north american comic I loved and obessed over and Scott and friends were like family to me. To an awkward teen who couldn’t talk to girls, struggled to keep the video game club a friend founded together in a way that in hindsight was wholly unecessary, and getting messed with due to my anger issues by friend, foe and frenemy alike, Scott was my port in the storm. A sunny version of Tornoto where I could retreat to to feel at peace.

So yeah this shattered the fuck out of that peace and was essentially one long slow motion kick to the balls to a younger me: Hollie gets derailed and horribly betrays Kim, runing my faviorite characters life and leading to her LEAVING, Scott and Ramona’s relationship crumbles, the band breaks up , and the volume ends with Gideon still gunning for our hero because life hadn’t punched him in the face enough for one month. I was livid, not stopping the series, obviously, but upset that everything i’d grown to care about was basically gone in a flash and couldn’t understand WHY O’Malley would fucking do this to me. This volume was also what kept me from re-reading the books for as long as I did as while the rest had fond memories all the ones I had of this one were pure misery.

But by the time i re-read it in december of last year I had two important things in my hands that helped me truly enjoy this one: The first was Volume 6 itself: knowing things would work out, that most of the bad stuff would be undone and in a truly awesome and satisfying way helped.

The other thing was the perspective that came with growing older: For one as an adult while I still like Scott as a character and find him intresting I no longer look up to him, nor put stock in his hapiness for his own. Sure I still care about characters and relate to some, but Bojack Horseman taught me the hard way you CAN’T put all your hopes in a character’s fate or them getting better for you to get better.

The other is that while this volume again is pretty bleak after a while.. it’s also NECESSARY. Part of the series charm is i’ts realisim and a sad part of real life is people can drift apart from you, and things can change seemingly all at once. And things moving the way they do is necessary for the ending: every step and move here puts things where they need to be for the final chapter. The pain our heroes go through is necessary so they can all grow.. except Stephen and Wallace. Stephen sucks and Wallace dosen’t need to change. He does need his own spinoff. But for Scott, Ramona and Kim the trials to come are necessary to make them into their best selves by series end.

So join me under the cut as we get sad so very very sad, this is Scott Pilgrim vs the Universe.

Precious Little Life: We open with Scott’s Birthday! Hit it MC Chris!

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But yes it’s septmeber and Scott is now 24 years old. Also Julie is there because presumibly Stephen dredged her out of her swamp for the evening despite Julie likely not wanting to be there and Scott sure a shell not wanting her there. He vows that he will be the best 24 year old ever...... yeah let’s take a brief look into the future to see how that pans out

But we have a full volume and more metaphorical rakes to whack Scott in the face before that paticular one.

A MONTH AND A FEW DAYS LATER

It’s the day of the dead, whoa ho way down in Tornoto. It’s hosted by Satan Herself, who dosen’t realize the holiday for hags was yesterday. This is for remembering the dead and rising out of the grave to go resuce your young wards by ramming a bunch of guys in butterfly costumes with your car or stealing your children’s kidneys. This is Rat Girl’s new place, a fancy loft she and 3 other girls went on to throw the best parties beaause of course. She’s also a bitch to our hero and heroine because of course.

But Scott soon has more important things to worry about: Ramona spots his next two opponents.. the twins hinted at last time, Kyle and Ken Kataynagi, Perfect Jerk and Handsome Asshat respectively.

Kyle and Ken are easily the least intresting of the 7 exes. With the other 4 so far having been a loveable ham, a stoic movie star whose suprisingly nice and dies via skateboard, a gloriously douchey and dumb psychic evil version of our much more loverable dumb douche with personal connections to both him and Ramona, and Roxy who was genuinely sympathetic, held back by her own selfishness and anger.. we get.. two smug assholes who use robots. Their not UNINTRESTING, the robots have cool designs and the fight with them is genuinely exciting.. but they just don’t have the charisma or personal factor. Their jsut two assholes ramona dated at the same time who happen to know more about her well guarded past than the other exes and are more liable to bring it up.. and even then it’s not anything new as Envy pulled similar tactics far more intrestingly in volume 3. THey don’t ruin the volume or anything, thier fine, but I just wish O’Malley had done more. Especially since he clealry had more intresting ideas with them: the sound battle we saw in the movie was an early draft of this and one early draft had Scott’s previously unseen brother Laurence working with them. I don’t knowWHY he scrapped that as it raises the stakes and makes this far more personal for Scott. Which at this point is what the exes SHOULD be: Todd and Roxy BOTH were more personal threats, Todd being his ex’s boyfriend and first love and Roxy being a genuine competior for Ramona. These guys again are just two douchers who show up because we need 7 douchers to complete the doucher circle.

So the twins declare their not going to fight scott.. and instead send a tiny robot to fight him. Awww. But for this fight O”Malley does something really intresting and creative.. he dosen’t focus on it. No really Ken and Kyle are dicks to Ramona so Kim wisely gets her out of there, and the two have a casual talk on the balcony while Ramona smokes. It’s some fun banter between the two that both shows why their shipped to all hell. The two just play off each other really damn well. Though we also get Craphole asking people if they want to come watch Scott get beat up because the worst.

Something important character stuff comes up though: As was shown last time at her rightful rage that Stephen HAD an opportunity to book a gig and kept refusing it for his fecking album, Kim is still fairly salty about the whole recording an album bullshit. The biggest part of it..

It’s something you really DON’T expect to here coming out of kim: that she really LIKED the band. But beneath the pillar of salt she puts out daily... these were her friends, this was getting to do something creative and passionate, and it was a break from the daily grind. Even if her job isn’t TERRIBLE, getting to watch movies and hang out with her best friend Clerks style.. it’s still a retail job and those still weigh on you.. though frankly i’d take one of those over food service but sadly tha’ts what i get most of the time. This was fun.. and Stephen ripped that away from her for his own selfish reasons. No one else in the band really cared about making an album.. if Stephen REALLY wanted to find a more professional band.. then he should’ve just told them so Scott and Kim could find someone else to do guitars for them. Instead he forced them into doing something they don’t want to do and refuses to actually play shows, which COULD help both perfect songs for the album version and get them new fans for said upcoming album and provide them recurring venues to SELL said album, because he really just wants to be with Joseph and fuck anyone else. Stephen is really just an inhernetly selfish git and i’ll get more into that in a bit. But first Wallace has a text for Scott.

Now I COULD have just skipped over this.. but I didn’t want to. Plus we dont’ se Wallace for a while in this story so i’m taking what I can get.

So back to Stephen being a repugnant ass. I’ve been waiting for this scene for the entire retrospective. I”ve hinted at it, and largely blamed it for why I hate him so damn much. The time is nigh to explain WHY.

Stephen is with Knives, as the two are close friends and such. Stephen expalins Sex Bomb-Omb isn’t playing because he and the personfication of bitchiness broke up. Which knives points out is for...

But it’s clear from context this was the LAST time. Why he still got invited I dunno, plot convience. So far so normal.. until Stephen picks up that Knives is STILL hung up on Scott. Which is understandable crushes can last a while but i’ts equally understandable that Stephen is utterly baffled by it. Which I get, I didn’t make an entire tom lucitor retropsecitve because I liked that his relationship with Star ended with him stepping aside due to what the show thought was “true wuv” but what comes off instead as his self loathing casuing him to blame himself for a realtionship that’s crumbling for reasons that aren’t his fault.

And his actions here are incredibly well meant: He bluntly gives Knives the wake up call she DOES need: Scott cheated on her, he dated her because she was easy to date, strung her along for a bit while seeing someone else, then dumped her with not one care for her well being. That is stuff she NEEDS to get into her head so she can move on. She needs to see him for what he IS and not for what she’s built him up as in her head. And while yeah his rant DOSNE’T take into account the fact Scott geninely tried to make up for his actions in volume 3, Stephen wasn’t there for that and Knives probbably didn’t tell him about it. So from his point of view scott broke her heart and did nothing.. and evne IF he knew that, Scott still hasn’t tried to do anything since despite Knives still being obessed with him nor come clean to her or Ramona at any point. Scott deserves this call out and the consequences that come with it.

So your probably wondering WHY I hate Stephen because of this scene when he’s you know, RIGHT. Well it’s simple: being right dosen’t save you from being a MASSIVE hypcorite. He’s railing on Scott for cheating and hurting someone.. when he cheated on Julie and would’ve hurt her if she had the capacity for human emotion, empathy, or self awarness. The ending of the last volume and how bad, even for them, their relationship was implied the hell out of it, with him nervous when she brings up being paranoid over knives.. as if he WAS cheating. on One Face just not with a teenage girl but a grown ass man who hates everyone as much as BLARARARGAGAG does.

Not only that.. but he was with Julie for the SAME DAMN reasons Scott was with Knives: it was easy. Now I WILL grant Stephen some sympathy: he’s a queer man and as one myself, bi for the record, I GET how fucking hard it is to come to terms with that, that what you thought you were isn’t ENITRELY true or, if Stephen is gay and not bi or pan, ENIRELY FALSE. So I do have some care that it was hard for him to sort all this out. I do and that Jospeh could’ve seduced him or what not. We don’t have all the context here. But he STILL cheated at the end of the day instead of telling her he was queer until MONTHS later. And why yes the fact I have to feel bad for JULIE does make it that much worse. And yes their relationsihp COULD simply be that toxic or she could’ve gaslit him, but it seemed more like their relationship was messy breakups and getting back together over and over. While Julie IS vile, she’s not a domestic abuser mental or physical as far as I can tell. She’s a bitch and their relatioship is unehlathy but there was no indication their relationship involved gaslighting or evne phsyical violence: it was just fucked from minute one. So yeah he stayed in an awful relationship beacuse it was easier than coming out, when he should’ve broken it off as soon as it was clear he and Joseph were actually going somewhere. Waiting while he figured out who he was is one thing, tha’ts fiar, but cheating on someone just because you don’t have the nerve to break it off with them when their genuinely awful to you and your only hurting them as much as they can be hurt by dragging this out... yeah that just makes you an ass.

Another point of contention is that he NEVER called Scott out on this. Never. Not even after this scene. Never encouraged him to tell Ramona or apologize to Knives, again he didn’t know Scott already had tried that. Never gets on him.. he just ignores Scott’s shitty behavior like eveyrone else and unlike Kim, whose still got unresolved feelings and is at the very least clearly bothered by his shitty behavior, and Neil, whose young and thus like me likely looked up to Scott at the time, he dosen’t have an excuse other than “Well I don’t want to ruin our friendship by actually calling him out when he does something objectivionally awful.” Especially since Wallace DID actually take action: he didn’t break up the relationship or say anythign to Ramona, which is wrong... but he did tell scott flat out after his first date with Ramona to break up with Knives. And when Scott chickned out of that, Wallace gave him the ultimatium, may it live in empathy, to do so or he WOULD tell Ramona. And at least Wallace has a motive for not telling Ramona other than “I don’t want to risk my friendship with a guy I really don’t care about and think is shitty”. He wanted to see Scott recover from Envy, something Stephen never gave ONE. SHIT. ABOUT. He saw Ramona was good for him and knew telling her, while the RIGHT thing to do, would severely harm Scott, and by volume 4 leave him homeless. Plus Wallace frankly enabled him for some time anyway, letting him live at their place rent free and paying for all his food and frequently letting Scott steal his credit card. WIth Wallace at least while it’s not the RIGHT move, it’s understandable and complicated vs Stephen who really dosen’t seem to like or get along with Scott after volume 1, suddenly cares what happens to his relationship.

And what proves this... is this little exchange that ends the conversation.

Knives despite her issues, despite blinding herself to how Scott treated her, despite everything... thinks Ramona should know. And she’s right. And Stephen KNOWS THIS. He knows it was the right thing to do and just.. takes a swig instead of admitting he’s a fucking hypocrite or explaining himself in any way. He NEVER cared about Ramona’s feelings or how this would effect her or saw her as important in any way shape or form. Kim at least clearly feels guilty. Wallace clearly is only doing so because it’s better for both her and Scott that their together and is a flawed human being. Stephen.. just dosen’t do so out of some masculine bullshit code of not ratting out your friend and his own cowardace. He clearly COULD go walk up to Ramona right now and tell her, but he won’t. And again I don’t buy he honeslty cares enough about Scott for their friendship to TRULY be enough of a factor to stop that. Fuck. Stephen. Stills.

So Scott wins naturally, but is bummed there’s no reward.. but Stephen points out there’s tons of free food over yonder so he noms before he and Ramona leave.

We get some cute domestic bits with Scott and ramona: Scott playing games on her phone all day, the two cooking dinner, and Scott admititng he hasn’t thought of envy at all. “I have you now”. Though through it there are some signs of unease: Scott finds a letter to Gideon, and Ramona asks about her hair and stares out into the window. Nice little hints that even before the big bomb abotu to drop she’s not at ease.. she loves Scott.. but it’s hard for her to let herself BE happy. It’s easy to wager she wasn’t for most of her life.

Can’t Face Up

So next we find Sex Bomb-Omb working on the album. Or rather Stephen and Joseph are. Scott and Kim are praying for death but death won’t come and Kim wonders why the fuck this isn’t finished. Joseph wants her out of his house... forgetting that Kim lives in said house.

Still his expressoin implies he’s going to do a murder on her if she stays in the room and since Drummers are hard to come by Stephen spirits them to kim’s room for a band meeting. Turns out they do have a gig but naturally Rosemary’s Baby booked it... and they haven’t practiced in months because Stephen’s a moron. He theorizes it’s Freddy’s Revenge, which is admitely probably valid though Kim can TELL something worse happened Stephen won’t cop to because he’s a piece of shit. I spent several paragraph’s establishing that. They try blaying and two sucktacular minutes i’ts clear their fucked sunday.

So after a scene of Knives trying HARD to justify Scott’s actions and blame htem on Ramona, to no success, we get one of my faviorite parts of this book: Scott rambling on for god knows how long about the x-men while Ramona gets dressed and is presumibly barely listneing.

I relate so hard to this it hurts. While not this era I wll GLADLY go on and on about X-Men and anything X-Adjacent at any goddamn opportunity and anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis and you know this. I need to tlak more x-men outside of my slowly failing New X-Men retrospective (Which is on the back burner because no one seeems to genuinely care after chapter one). If I did have a signifgant other, they would probably end up in a situation like this quite a lot and i’d have no shame about it.

I also love this scene even more as while I DID love x-men at the time, I wasn’t quite the mega fan I was, nor as familiar with Claremont’s long, epic and often fucking weird in the special wonderful way only comics can run. Given I OWN over half his run at this point, that has changed. Though oddly not this part. So not only do I get Scott’s talking about x-men I Know what SPECIFICALLY.

And for the unitatied, a quick explination of what the fuck Scott’s going on and on about: In the late 80′s, the x-men fought a reality warping malevolent trickster god named the Adversary. IN order to beat him their friend forget had to perform a cermony to lock his ass away that required willingly given life forces. The X-Men did REALLY fucking die.. but the Goddess Roma, daughter of Merlin and enemy of the advesary brought them back to life. With their deaths having been broadcast on live tv, and with tons of dangerous enemies at their heels, the X-Men choose to let the world continue to think they were dead so they could hit said enemies where it hurt.

SO this is where Scott’s story comes in:The X-Men’s first mission was clearing out the reavers, a bunch of racist cyborgs, from a ghost town which they took over as their base. As Scotty said they traveled all over the world, fought aliens, more racists, and then went to New York as it literally went ot hell. it’s a LOT and I haven’t read most of that era. I just know about it. I have read that last part though: the x-men were ambushed while wolveirne was away by said racist cyborgs so Psylocke shoved them through the siege perilous, a gate thingy romana gave them that would give them a new life and amnesia and such, leaving wolveirne to get crucified till Jubilee, who’d been hiding in their base gary busey style, freed him. The two would travel the world, find psylocke body swapped which is why she was asian for several decades, and get into general stuff for a few years real time till the X-Men slowly reunited. And you probbaly dind’t need to hear all of that but your life is better for knowing it.

As you can tell Ramona’s discontent is mounting. And probably not because of Scott rambling about x-men. Last night he told her about the time Magneto beat them all because they stupidly rushed him one at a time then forced them into high tech chairs while a robotic nanny babbied them and then esecaped because shut up before fighting magneto, getting surrounded by lava and having beast ASSUME they were dead because fuck actually coming back and searching just in case like a rational human being because magma or no the x-men have surivived worse, including the depths of space, and restoring all of reality from scratch. I may of just read those issues tonight.

She procedes to make things worse for our hero as when he asks fo rher advice.. she reveals she dosen’t like his band.. and while she means nothing BY that, she’s nice about it, telling him his band sucks days before a sudden show where you guys eat a lot isn’t something you do. Wallace is naturally even less helpful and maybe his not liking the band is why we barely see him interact. Maybe he just figured Stepheen was on the fence sexuality wise but wasn’t willing to put up with Julie to test that. I dunno.

So at the restraunt Stephen’s a dick, refusing to help Scott with his problems. WHich for once are legitamte as he worries abotu Ramona keeping secrets. He just wants to talk about hte band.. but 48 or something hours after this he has no real plan.

Scott mopes to Kim about Ramona and she has some sage advice for him...

Also thing one and thing two are at the bar with a remote. This cannot end well... granted givne our heroes are not at all prepared and are playing two diffrent songs, this was never going to end well.

And things only get worse for Scott in the bathroom.. he’s not there.. but his girlfriend and his ex are. Knives tries to work it out.. but Ramona being a bit short with her, which is fair given Knives tried to stab her a bunch a few months back and never apologized, leading to a quick fight.. but with Knives heart not in it this time and Ramona pissed and this time NOT confsued as to what the hell ihs going on, it ends with Ramona slamming knives into a wall... and Knives sadly revealing the truth to Ramona...

The scene hits like a truck with both devistated.. Ramona not having realized Scott with this shitty.. and Knives FINALLY accepting that he is. Finally letting her obession with him drop and realize what he was and what he did and let the full impact hit. The last part also hits hard “No One Else Would’ve Told You’. It’s a sad hard truth and it’s CLEARLY something that hits both women hard. For Knives it’s realizing Kim and Stephen, who she’s increidbly close to at this point, both don’t have the stomach to do the right thing, and thus hid this from her and Ramona. Stephen DID tell her.. but he still didn’t have the guts to tell RAMONA nor the actual care. It’s the realization the people she looked up to truly let her down and that she had to do what they couldn’t, even if it tore her apart to do it. For Ramona it’s realizing her closest friends outside of Scott could’ve told her and never did. No matter how close she’s gotten to Kim and Wallace, neither gave a fuck about her rights or her need to know.

So Ramona is rattled and barely speaks while Scott has been fighting anothe rrobot and ends the gig accidnetly smashing his bass. Stephen is pissy with him and blames hi mfor runing the gig, which turned out to be a trap anyway complete with fliers.

Ramona decides to gently throw him out as he forgot his keys while his other friends won’t house him leaving him with the one friend he has who dosen’t hate him right now. WALLACE!

The Glow:

So at Casa De Welles, Wallace has some buddy time, not making any bones about the fact Ramona clearly threw Scott out for the night and wearing a neat robe. Scott mopes about the fact he hasn’t met mobile whose apparenlty on the astral plane. I wonder if he has any buisness with Emma.. I mean the x-men did live in san fran sicsio but given decimation didn’t have many psychics. Might’ve been tryign to get another one. THey didn’t have a whole island that walks like a man yet. And while Wallace wasn’t in much of a coaching mood last time he is willing to help. He couldn’t get bupkiss on the twins since Scott can’t even remember their names, but he did pull off a miracle. Despite their being a million Gideons in New York.. Wallace found THE Gideon. Granted all he got was his full name, Gideon Gordon Graves, and a few burry photos, one with Ramona confirming this is our douche, but given he had only a first name and an ex to work with this is some damn fine work. Wallace asks scott about his future with Ramona but he just.. has no earthly idea because of course he dosen’t. He hasn’t REALLY thought about what comes after beating the exes because he never thinks anything through. Interesting stuff The next day Scott meets up with Kim at No Account Video and we get our first, and I mean literally first, indiciation things are falling apart with her and Hollie. Scott wants to say hi, Kim refuses him and gives a smart ass comment when he asks if them being roomates isn’t working out. He wasn’t even being a dick it’s just clear SOMETHING bad’s going on she won’t talk about because she puts up walls around hrself on a GOOD day and this clearly isn’t one.

It gets worse when they stop by Stephen’s place only to find Neil whose both taken up a combination of smoking and moping in a dark room. Never a good sign. Nor is Stephen apparenlty being at band practice.. meaning either he lied to Neil about where he went.. or he already started the band we’ll see him with next volume and is already stabbing his friends in the back. There wasn’t much to like about the guy to BEGIN with, but his behavior just gets worse with every volume and it’s reached it’s apex here. The speech was shitty enough, I spent several paragraphs explaning why, but the rest of his behavior isn’t much better. He abandoned two people who were, for god knows what reason loyal to him and abandoned the band because of some bearded asshole probably encouraging him to.

We also get some telling behavior on Kim’s part. Whlie she’s usually morose around Scott in the face of this both just hang out, it’s plesant. She even smiles when she asks if it’s going to be a regular occurance when he stays with her that night. Granted she brings back her frown soon after, but as has been clear her feelings for him never really went away entirely, and this is the closest the two have been in volumes, just enjoying each others company. It’s also telling that Scott trusts kim with a favor.

We see the favor the next page: Kim hangs out with Ramona.. and Scott marchs in completely on purpose soon after. Granted Kim probably didn’t know THIS was part of the plan, and it’s mildly stupid.. but it DOES show progress for Scott. Keep in mind his usual tactic is “avoid the fuck out of it and hope it goes away’ So ACTUALLY wanting to talk about things and find her again, and not doing it in a creepy way but simply drawing her out with a friend, shows SOME maturlity. It’s still not the most mature.. but with Ramona clearly not wanting him at their place, her work not having a set location as she just picks stuff up and drops it off (And even if she’s picking up packages at the post office we don’t know which one or if there’s multiple and even if we did scott sure as hel l does not), he was out of options. It also WORKS, with Ramona breaking her mopeynesss to laugh and Kim stunned it didn’t just piss her off further.

So we find out what happened with Hollie when Scott brings up jason. She points out they were dating but... welllllllll

Yeah... as you could probably tell I do not like this plot point at all. For one thing we never really got to KNOW Jason, and with him and Hollie getting a little too cozy at the end of the last volume...

It’s clear his ONLY roll in the story was to be there so Hollie could betray Kim in some way. And look I get a LOT in this series happens while we’re not looking, ti’s part of it’s charm. Things not pausing for the side cast is a trope I enjoy: it allows some things to progress faster and allows for some intresting stories when the main cast catches up. Steven Unvierse and Ducktales both used this well as does Scott Pilgrim but all three weren’t immune to someitnes goofing up and taking it too far.

This whole situation is that: Hollie is a character I got attached to: She had a great report with kim, they were really close and she offered her a place to stay when it was clear she was miserable with the four horseman of the bitchpocalypse she lived with. So while having her suddenly heel turn is realistic... it just feels thorughly unsatisfying. We do not see Hollie again after she’s sudeenly derailed, so we never get to see what she’s apparenlty REALLY like or get any explination why this happened. Suddenly Kim’s best friend is a douchebag even though it makes no sense for her character. Just because in real life people can turn out to be really shitty on a dime dosen’t mean it’s a neat thing to READ in a story and it feels like a waste of what was one of the series best side characters. And granted i’ve been through FAR worse treatment of side characters, trust me but this one still blows to this day and if there is a netflix adaptation this either needs to not happen or have actual depth. Seriously Netflix your adapting everything else, get on the bus already.

Scott is GENUINELY apologetic, we’ve rarely seen him this nice but he genuinely feels bad for her.. and unlike Stephen’s thing it’s okay to feel shitty someone got cheated on even if you were a cheater in the past. As I said Stephen wasn’t wrong about how Scott treeted knives.. he just also was trying to take moral high ground which Knives proved he absolutely did not have in seconds.

This triggers Ramona’s glow, the squggly line thing that shows up over her head ocasoinally.. and while Ramona grills Scott... Kim just finally asks what the hells up with her head. Scott’s reaction is “OH good you guys see it too”. Kim does try to show it to ramona but it’s gone by then and she drops it for now and outside encourages her to come to Julie’s latest shitty party.. I mean their miserable but at least it gives thems omething to do

So we get another instalment of “Scott rambles about the X-Men” or New Mutants in this case as we’re talking about Magik, Aka Illyana Rasputin

So for the long version: The X-Men were staying at a creepy temple that Magneto had been working out of beause the mansion was being repaired. Colossus, everyone’s favorite Russian and Deadpool co-star, had his kid sister Illyana with him as Arcade, a ginger maniac assasian whose gimmick is creating elaborate murder theme parks, kidnapped her in a plot to get the x-men to fight Dr. Doom for him. Given this was during the Cold War they coudln’t exactly take her back, so she stayed with the X-Men and her beloved big brother.

So naturlaly the spooky temple decorated in Cthulu’s had a portal to hell in it and an evil and genirc looking fucker named Belasco kidnapped her to a hell dimension known as Limbo> the X-Men went after her as you’d expect and things got WEIRD as due to some complicated and weird time dialition stuff I sitll don’t quite understand there ended up being two copies of the x-men: ours who came in right after, and a second batch who stayed there for about 7-8 years and got warped by Bellsaco’s magic as he killed or changed most of them. As a result Storm became a sorcerer to fight back, Kitty Pryde became some sort of cat creature and Kurt became a creepy evil version of himself. Illyana stayed htere, learned magics from both storm and asshole, learned to fight from cat kitty, and eventually escaped after a lot of horrible bullshit, hardnered and with her soul scarred from it, now a teenager. She joined the New Mutants, the training class of x-men in the comics, soon after. She’s a member agian in present day, one of the great captains of Krakoa, and one of the two co-leaders of Krakoa’s younger mutants, i.e. 20 something to teens and kids.

This is the best of the two scenes as the narrative , or at least Scott’s versions parallels Ramona’s own; Getting taken in by an evil man and feeling tainted by that.

So at the party Ramona runs into Neil whose a dick about it and with some girl. She WAS going to be fleshed out more in the original draft but Brian ended up scrapping it for time, but does regret it. It’s here we get Neil’s face punchingly dickish comment that’s also a massive hint as to Stephen’s sexuality.

Yeah even if Stephen’s been an UTTERLY shitty friend to him.. this was uncalled for even for the late 2000′s. What a prick. I do like the arc of Neil slowly falling apart though getting more and more bitter as his old friends abandoned him casually, especailly Stephen. While his comment was still HORRIBLY unwarranted even with Stephen being a dipshit.

Speaking of assholes we get our last major with Julie who berates Scott for grabbing some booze and brings in the twist. I’m.. i’m not even bothering to give her an insluting and weird nickname. She’s still a HORRIBLE piece of shit, as she brought Scott’s enemies there to try and beat him to death for her own amusment and berated him for getting booze at a party she CLEARLY expected him to come to, but she’s ALMOST gone. Seriously after this she’s GONE for the volume and barely in the rest of the series. So i’d rather celebrate FINALLY having earned my freedom over worrying about her any more than i have to. Cue the music!

youtube

So with that Kyle.. or is it Ken.

But the blonde one needles ramona, giving her her faviorite booze and telling her “this is all just temproary”

So Ramona gets all glowy.. and Kim gets her phone out....

The Universe Fights Back So in a random bedroom Ramona gives up the ghost: SHe DOES know what that is she just can’t tell Kim. Kim accepts it and they share some drinks. Scott, after beheading the douche bros latest science project, joins them and we get a lovely scene of the three drinking and bonding and geneuinely just having a good time. Though Kim DOES mention that she wants to go back to school.. This will naturally be very important.

What’s more important is this scene is ENITRELY while I poly ship these three dum dums. I mean while part of thier hapiness here is their blasted out of hteir heads, it’s also just Kim’s wall sbeing down. She tells the two she loves them, and I think MEANS IT. Not to mention this...

Okay maybe it’s just the two of them but they also love Scott. And again I get htier VERY obviously drunk.. but given Kim and Ramona are clearly actively supressing any bi parts of themselves most of hte time this is telling. The fact Ramona asks kim to sleep in THIER bed, likely with them, is ALSO very telling and Kim only dosen’t because their using sub space. No really that’s the only reason this volume didn’t end VERY diffrently with the three of htem having a three way before the argument coming up.. and possibly fixing said argument by having kim to mediate. I mean I get Scott’s not a big part of this so if you don’t want to ship him with them and just leave them alone that’s fine, ut I like the idea of them as a throuple: they ballance each other out.. and frakly with Scott’s irresponsblity and Ramona’s emotoinal issues they need someone to call them b oth out in the relationship, while these two are two of the only three people in the work i’ve seen Kim take her walls down for. Not even Jason got that, but Jason was also a carboard cutout.

Things take a turn from Kim.. from an almost threesome where she CLEARLY would be getting most of the attention... to two assholes kidnapping her. Now while I don’t like the twins that much their plan for the final act IS actually clever: their the first ones to think to actually use the people Scott cares about.. or anything resembling strategy really. Matt just charged int here, Lucas coudln’t give less of a fuck, Todd just used brute strength like a teletkentic juggernaught, and Roxy DID use some but it was less to actually fight scott and more to get into ramona’s pants again. The twins see Kim clearly still loves Scott, and that while he acts aloff to her sometimes she really is one of his best friends. No really, think about it. Wallace is his BEST friend.. but Kim sticks by him even when he’s shitty, calls him out when needed, and despite her grumpiness is the one who has the most faith in him out of ANYONE. It’s a large point of the volume: she dosen’t bother watching the fights.. because she belivies he’ll win simply because he’s Scott. That’s love right there. The kind of love that gets you kidnapped as part of an elaborate scheme but love nonetheless.

So we then get the scene that’s been coming for five volumes... after having sex, Ramona confronts Scott. While Scott admits he didn’t cheat on her with knvies, the other way around, that’s not better. He admits he’s been trying to forget about it.. and she calls him a bad person. And that. .hits him hard. While he DESERVES scorn for what he did... as he puts it next he’s been trying to change for her. To BE better. And all she sees, and outright confirms is another evil ex in waiting with Scott DESPERATE to prove her wrong and wrongly thinking beating the next three exes will fix this. It’s a VERY hard sceen to watch as while Scott does deserve this.. it’s also hard not to feel bad for him too. It really sums up the character: He is a dick.. but he’s TRYING to be better. He WANTS to be, he just dosen’t know how. And MAN can I relate to that. It dosen’t help that Ramona is clearly projecting her own insecurties about this lasting, about actually being happy and about this really being her life onto him, using this as an easy out after having a month of doubt. Yes Scott did something unbelivibely shitty.. but both are trying to take the easy way out of it instead of genuinely discussing why it’s shitty, what he did was wrong and geniuinely unpacking if this is the end. Ramona clearly wants to bail, and Scott clearly just wants to punch a few guys to make it better. Neither thing will work. They need to work thorugh their issues to work... but neither is capable of that right now. They both want to run from the problem.

This volume is in part about Ramona herself.. and showcasing her OWN flaws.. and like Scott her biggest is that she runs. She wants to escape her past too and both assumed the other would be an easy fix, that by having a good partner they’d be better.. when really their both mildly shitty people who need to make peace with their past and repair the bridges they’ve burnt and flip off the ones not worht reparing instead of running from it all the time. But sadly before both can.. their just gonna run again. Because sometimes fixing yourself is just not that easy.

So the next morning Scott’s heart stops fo ra second when Ramona is seemingly gone.. only for her to instead be in teh shower. But Scott gets a text telling him the twins have Kim and TRIES to tell Ramona.. but she’s in the shower. As a result she’s worried he just ran off... and makes a decision , her hair cut back down after growing it out this volume, a sign of her hapiness.. now gone.

The Glow Part 2 So at an abandoned wherehouse the fight is on. The twins have the advantage in part because Scott is hung over.. something they take offense to.. even though they were THERE last night. He was at a party. They don’t know he teatotles. What state did they THINK he’d be in this morning?

We also find out their origin: as Scott correctly guessed at the end of last volume, Ramona dated them both at the same time and pit them against each other. They found out and vowed to always fight as one.. which means Scott is not only fighting two equally powerful opponents at once, but two who work as a perfct team and double hurricane kick him. They also mentally break him down, pointing out her previous job and how she’s a runner and she’s here to run from her past working for Gideon.

They aren’t but I already went into that so let’s get onto more pressing issues: Scott is not only hung over but now doubting himself and his dumbass plan to beat gideon and magically fix things, while Kim is naturally not happy about being stuck in a cage all night. And while at first she’s genuinely just grumpy as always as it becomes clear Scott has lost hope and the twins are going to win this one her expression is heartbreaking...

After EVERYTHING she still loves him and can’t bear to see him in so much pain... and can’t loose him.. so she gets desperate and claims Ramona texted him to give him hope.

This is one of Kim’s definting moments, the other coming next month. When faced with the person she loves possibly dying.. she lies to him.. so he can surivive. So he can have hope and make it through this.. despite how much it’s CLEARLY KILLING HER to not only tell him someone else loves him but to clealry lie that person loves him, knowing it’ll hurt him more.. but knowing if she DOSEN’T he’ll die. It’s one of the most painful, heartbreaking and beautiful moments in the entire series. It’s why I said earlier while I don’t like the brothers their climactic fight his excellent.. because it is. Their verbal breaking down of Scott is hearbreaking and Kim’s sacrifice equally so.

And before stomping them into coins SCott shows further growth.. by showing he CAN give off a good one liner now...

So Scott beats them and gets Kim out of the cage, worried about her.. but despite having a chance, Kim lets him get on his way to ramona and morsoely wlaks off... while ominously the sign points out this will soon be the Chaos Theater. There’s still one left to go.

But.. it’s sadly not enough. While Scott gives her a heartfelt speech... even if he quotes the song as long as you love me... he dosen’t care who she is.. but Ramona does.. calling herself a bad person.. as she vanishes.... and I cry my eyes out again. God two really heartbreaking scenes in a row sweet jesus this volume will be the death of me.. and not just because i’ts taken so damn long to write this review. And on top of tha the looses the cat and ends up locked out.

World of Ruin:

So yeah if you thought those bits weren’t easy.. it only gets roughter as we see Scott in the aftermath of the breakup. His dream world is now desolate and he’s alone. Now to his creidt as much shit as i’ve given him Stephen didn’t ENTIRELY abandon Scott: he put him up fo rth enight (though he kicks him out after work) and offers to take him to after work drinks. We also see a nice side of Scott’s intimdating boss as she offers her symaptheties at him crying... while he says it’s the onions... he’s transparenlty lying.

Next up is Kim. Though she dosen’t have a couch because Hollie sold it.. which as dickish as she suddenly is it IS her couch as Kim points out.. so yeah Kim and Scott end up sleeping awkardly in the same bed facing away from each other.. and to add another emotional guttpunch at the worst possible time: She’s going back home.

Stacey is even lesss helpful as SCott continues to ask about cats and is unsypantethic about her leaving despite you know, him REALLY not being at the shit talking her stage yet bud. At least we do get to see Stacey in this one I genuinely forgot she was in it.

So at Wallace’s he’s no help either pointing out she might be with someone else because he’s wallace and we meet a guy with Glases.. and in his bad state Scott assumes i’ts gideon. it’s not though. WE finally meet Mobile!

He’s exactly what wallace needs.. a fellow sarcastic asshole.

So next up is Kim’s goodbye.. which once again is really emotinal..a nd not just because my faviorite character is leaving and again, younger me didn’t know this wasn’t forever.. or that she’d be back for a rather huge role next time. But still it’s a damn good scene that shows how far Scott’s come...

While the first part is standard... the second is Scott realizing that she still had feelings for him, clearly given her actions during the fight, and he’d been a right dick this whole time never dealing with it or apolgoizing for his past. Granted he still has a way to go to REALLY apologize for it... but he’s trying and means it. And with her possibly never seeing again.. she needed that. Also her coat is damn cool. I’d say I want one like that btu i’d really prefer one like Scotts complete with x-men patch. Pax Krakoa bitches.

We get a really nice scene after where we meet Scott’s parents! Their also really kind helping him get a new place and move on... and runs into another glasses guy. But this time it’s Laurence! Who he drop kicks.. and then gives a broken bass back to. Eh... i’ve seen worse relationship with siblings honestly. He didn’t murder scott’s friend or plunge a whole galaxy into war or try and murder his daughter. Other Scott’s weren’t so lucky.

So after that awkardness SCott finds the note to gideon which is a break up letter... she never sent. However there’s something more pressing as he gets a call... and you can probably guess given his luck lately who that’s from.

Eh it’s not that murderoius creep but another one.

The end.. is in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts:

As I said I hated Vs the Universe on first read but re-reading it with hindsight and maturity.. it’s damn good. It’s depressing as hell.. but the things it does need to happen to push scott into a bad enough place for the next volume to work, and are natural: Ramona and Kim leaving, The band breaking up, Scott kicking his brother in the face.. all natural things. It hurts, this was a HARD one to write and I only feel the next one will be harder because it’s way longer with less slice of lifey stuff to skim through in my recapping.

But it’s a damn good one, with fantastic art, really gripping scenes, x-men refrenes and a spotlight shone on my girl kim. Even it’s weak spots dont’ hurt it: the twins are only weak by comparison, and still work well enough for the story, pushing ramona into the bad mental place she needs to be for the story to work. Hollie’s thing DID Need to be written way fucking better... but it does push kim into leaving which is CRITICAL for next time. So they aren’t GREAT elements, but they work. The only real other problem I have is knives just.. vanishes after her scene outside of one bit with Stephen, but that I can understand as the book is pretty tightly packed and she gets a fitting sendoff next time anyway. All in all another amazing entry and the perfect warm up for one of the best endings in comics history

Next Time: I said it and I meant it: one of the best endings in comics history as Scott hits on some exes, fights himself and betters himself as he prepares for his finest hour! Will Ramona Come back? Will Kim? Will Julie?... to answer your questions yes yes, and god dammit. Thank you all for reading, see you at the next rainbow.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim vs the unvierse #kim pine #ramona flowers #julie powers #julie power #steven stills #stephen stills #joseph #wallace wells #kyle kyatanagi #ken kyatanagi #gideon gordon graves #gideon graves #stacey pilgrim #mobile #laurence pilgrim #knives chau

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keeptheotherone · 3 years

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Mecation: Day 1

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages.

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life.

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college.

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with.

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential!

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day.

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease.

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian.

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :)

#ktoo travels #covid coping #mental health #about ktoo #ktoo nurses #herself

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slunatic · 3 years

Text

My KiGo stuff

The fandom where I got my start. Here’s a list of my KiGo works with summaries. Goes from newest to oldest. *Note, these are not all of my Kim Possible works, just the ones with KiGo.

1. Build it Up: Pariah series finale. Shego and Tatsu search for a way to occupy their time while their girlfriends are busy with school. They end up going into business together to build a better future for themselves. (Pariah is a 10 part series).

2. Written on the Ten: Kim and Shego are trying to figure out how to spend their anniversary. They're open to advice and they reminisce a little to figure it out. One shot. KiGo. No real plot. Just sort of fluff.

3. Going with a Smile: Short sequel to One in a Billion. Take a trip back into the Walking the Line universe to see how Kim and Shego's children are faring as Todd moves out and gets closer to Mayah Director. Also watch as Jayden goes to talk to Bokuden Stoppable and meets his aunt, Hana. There's trouble to be had by all, of course. (Part five of the Walking the Line saga).

4. Humanities and Sciences: BoKiGo. Sequel to In the Middle! Come see how Bonnie, Kim, and Shego live their lives, live together, and try to work a relationship between the three of them. A series of one-shots... kinda.

5. Era of the Warring States: In a world without Kim Possible, war between Shego and SSJ has destroyed the land and the people. 20 years later Kim reappears and finds a world she doesn't recognize. A world that she may not be able to save. She may not even be able to save herself. This story is based on a series of “What If” pictures by the very talented artist, YogurthFrost.

6. Bubblegum Flavored: KP fusion with the anime Bubblegum Crisis 2040. When Kim moves to Mega Go City, she joins the Knight Sabers to fight against berserker Bebes while something darker involving Gemini and Drakken seems to be going on. Eventually KiGo, BetViv, and TaraFelix.

7. Family Gathering: Pariah Universe. Set after "Re-education of Jocelyn Possible." The Possibles get together to celebrate Christmas in Middleton with their loved ones. The Possible family seems to grow during this holiday when a few new guests show up. KiGo. Series Part 9 of Pariah.

8. For Fame, Fortune, and Freedom: AU. After being accused of a crime that she didn't commit, Kim becomes an outlaw to avoid being executed. Join Kim on an adventure as she learns how to be a pirate and eventually becomes the captain of a pirate ship. KiGo, BetViv, BoNique, and RonYori.

9. Blood Out: For the Halloween spirit. Sequel to Blood In. Kim and Shego find that they haven't moved past Shego's fears of Kim leaving and she is pushing Kim away, but they don't know why. What will they do? And just who is Carmilla? Come find out. KiGo. Series Part 4 of Vampire Kimmie.

10. In the Middle: KiBo. KiGo. BoKiGo. Shego wants Kim. Bonnie wants Kim. Kim wants them both. Who's going to have her way? Probably Kim because she can do anything. Series Part 1 of In the Middle.

11. The Re-education of Joss Possible: Sequel to Cryptic...kind of. Latest in the Pariah universe. Joss comes to stay with Trin and Kim for the summer. The sisters try to connect with Joss, who is a little difficult about things. Can Joss learn to get along with her cousins? Series Part 8 of Pariah.

12. Blood In: For the Halloween spirit. Sequel to "New Life." Kim and Shego are still haunted by demons of their past, even though they are free. Is Shego in jeopardy of losing Kim after everything they've gone through? KiGo. Series Part 3 of Vampire Kimmie.

13. Change Your Mind: Oneshot. Shego remained Miss Go and started a relationship with Kim that doesn't seem to be working out. Is it her or is it Kim? KiGo.

14. Be Careful What You Do: Kim attends an important party where a pretty redhead hits on her at the end of the night. This is a night that could cost Kim her reputation and so much more. KiGo.

15. New Life: The sequel to New Blood, for the Halloween spirit. The quest for the cure continues with Kim still being a vampire. She and Shego are still under the thumb of GJ. Will they get away? Will Kim be cured? KiGo. Series Part 2 of Vampire Kimmie.

16. One in a Billion: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids. Series Part 4 of Walking the Line saga.

17. Underdogs: Sequel to Cryptic, sort of. Set in the Pariah universe. The past comes back to bite Trin and Shin in the butt. Kim finds herself affected by the problem too and Shego's along for the ride as usual. Drakken's back. Series Part 7 of Pariah.

18. Dirty Little Secrets: Everyone has secrets. Some deeper than others. Come take a sneak peek at some secrets. Various pairings. Series of one shots, some of which contain romance. (Only the first chapter of this is KiGo).

19. Honor Bound: AU. Set in Japan during the Tokugawa era. Director Betty recruits samurai Kim and ninja Yori for a job to find out about a plot to overthrow the government. The job: go undercover as geisha. Kigo. RonYori.

20. Black Hole Philosophy: An AU of my Pariahverse. Pretty much, the pairings have been reversed and Shin has a girlfriend. By the end of it, things should be in their proper order. Can it be done? Series Part 6 of Pariah.

21. New Blood: For the Halloween spirit. Kim and Ron go looking for missing persons, only for Kim to become one. Is it really because of a vampire? The story will be Kigoish. Series Part 1 of Vampire Kimmie.

22. The Gods Must Be Laughing: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo. Series Part 3 of Walking the Line saga.

23. Night Terrors: Set in the Pariah universe. When Kim makes cupcakes, it brings the crew the worse nightmares when they go to bed. What could possibly frighten this crew? Series Part 5 of Pariah.

24. Another Time, Another Place: When Shego discovers an old book in the attic of her family's old house, it leads to Kigo in two different eras.

25. There For You: AU. Kigo. Kim is a hero, an author, and a painter who can do anything, except get a date. That probably explains why Bonnie gives her a card to an escort service.

26. Cryptic: Sequel to Pariah. There is a Possible clan get together at the Lazy C Ranch. Insults fly while problems arise. Shego never knew that Montana could be so interesting. Series Part 4 of Pariah.

27. Maybe: Kigo. One shot. Shego loves making Kim angry, but she can't figure out why. Maybe the reasons don't matter.

28. Forsaken: Set in the Pariah universe. A Possible has been chosen to save the world from the apocalypse. Wait, it's not Kim. It's Trin? We're as good as dead. Series Part 3 of Pariah.

29. A History of Yesterday: It starts with a honeymoon and ends with an affair. Or does it start with an affair and end with a honeymoon? Whichever.

30. On a Short Leash: AU. This is the sequel to Walking the Line. Kim and Shego look to renew their unorthodox relationship. Series Part 2 of Walking the Line saga.

31. Pariah: AUish. Who does the hero Kim Possible look up to? Check it out. Series Part 1 of Pariah.

32. Walking the Line: AU like a mug. Shego is a cop and Kim...well, you won't believe what Kim is. Series Part 1 of Walking the Line saga.

33. Addiction: Kim and Shego find themselves addicted and now they're looking to quit each other. Kigo. I feel I should warn people about the humor in this story, apparently, some people find it funny.

34. Comprehension: Kigo of sorts. Shego sits and thinks about a certain girl that can do anything.

These three fics are only on FFN because I haven’t moved them yet.

35. The Beast Within: AU. Middleton is a town where everyone has special powers. Well, not everyone. Kim is the only normal one. How does she cope? Will be kigo eventually.

36. The Beast, Without: Sequel to the Beast Within. Kim is still trying to get the hang of her dragon powers while former members of WEE seem to be plotting against her. Is she ready for them?

37. The Beast Within: Special Edition: Just like the title says. Two people with super powers come into Middleton to take on Kim and Shego. Who are the new duo? Whose powers are better? Who will win the brawl?

#kim possible #kigo #ao3 work #romance #drama #angst #fanfiction #fanfic #shego #kim possible x shego #f/f romance #lesbian characters #lesbian relationship #epic stories #novel length #starvinglunatic #starving lunatic #writing #alternate universe

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imanerdychubbyqueen · 4 years

Text

One Night Stand Sad Eyes x Black/Hispanic Plus Size Reader!!

warnings: Smut 18+, choking, Angst.

Please let me know what y’all think, I want to thank @multiyfandomgirl40 and @lady-pswrld for their help, it means a lot.

P.S. All my Ocs will be Black/Hispanic Plus Size, Because Plus Size Woman deserve love too!!. Here we go!!

There's some grammar mistakes, Beware!!!!

GIF Creator: @merakiaes

Ashanti was sitting on the toilet, staring at the pregnancy test she took just 5 minutes ago, she was glad her parents Dwayne and Stacy and her little brother Jamal, weren’t home because if they were, they wouldn't have liked the results that the pregnancy test showed. Standing up and putting the test on the piece of toilet paper she ripped from the toilet paper earlier, she washed her hands, grabbing the test and heading to her room. Closing her bedroom door, Ashanti places the test in her safety deposit box, before laying on the bed, as Ashanti turns over, cuddling with her pillow, wiping her tears away, she starts to think about that one night.

Ashanti was on her bed watching The Vampire Diaries, as a celebration for herself, she recently graduated college with her Bachelors Degree in Software Engineering, a month ago and two days ago she got hired to work for Google at home, and since it was peaceful at home, she decided to order pizza and binge watch the diaries, but was interrupted by a call from her best friend of 15 years, Monica Guzman.

“Hello.” Ashanti says, after chewing the piece of pizza that was in her both.“Whats up Bitchh” Mariana yells over the phone. “Nothing just chilling.” Ashanti pausing her show. “Well chilling time is over cause we are about to go to Oscars party.” Mariana picking her outfit, after looking thru her closet she decides on a pair of Levis 501 pants with a white crop top with one of her boyfriend, Jokers Black and white flannels with air force ones and a gold chain, that Joker brought her for their 5 year anniversary. “Mari, really I don't like partying.” Ashanti silently groans, moving from a lying position to a sitting up position. “SIS we just graduated college and we were both hired from our dream jobs, if that isn't something to party about then i don't know what is.” Mariana fixing her hair after getting dressed. “Mari I don't know.” Ashanti looking at her nails. “Sad Eyes is going to be there.” Monica convinces Ashanti. “So??, hie is dating Andrea Ramos' ' Ashanti mocking Andreas' voice. “ Not anymore, I don't think, Just pleasee comeee pretty please. '' Mariana begs. “Fineee.” Ashanti gives in. “Great, so Joker is picking me and my brother up first, so ill say about 30 minutes we should be at your place and also, wear something sexy!!” Mariana putting her on speaker. “I don't have anything Sexy!” Ashanti getting up from her bed and walking towards her closet. “Yes you do, you have the 2 piece yellow set, the one with a crop top and matching short skirt and wear you're black vans.” Mariana instructs Asthanti. “Okay, I found It” Ashanti finds the 2 piece outfit under the chest box in her closet in the Ross shopping bag she hid from her dad. “Alright see you in 30.” Mariana says. “Bye.” Ashanti replies , before ending the call. Picking up the box from her bed and heading to the kitchen, placing it in the fridge and closing the fridge door, she heads to the front door and the back door making sure they are both locked before heading back to her room and grabbing her black towel and running to the bathroom, locking the bathroom door once As Ashanti got inside, turning on the shower, she hangs up the towel while the shower gets hot before stepping inside shower, washing her body and wetting her hair since she washed it yesterday, she starts to rinse her off when she quickly remembers she needs to shave her legs, grabbing her men razor and her shaving cream she quickly but carefully starts to shave her legs, after spending 15 minutes in the shower, Ashanti turns off the shower, grabbing her towel drying off her body before exiting the shower, stepping on the mat and the towel they use on the floor. Reaching the sink, She grabs her hair products from the sink cabinets that's located under the sink, and putting them next to the sink before getting up and opening and grabbing some gel spreading to her hair evenly, before checking the final result in the mirror, noticing she missed a few stands, Ashanti grabs a smaller amount than before playing the gel on those strands she miss before smiling at the end result, washing her hands, and putting her hair products away.

Unlocking the door and jogs to her room, Ashanti quickly hangs up her towel, before walking to her outfit that was laying on her nightstand, grabbing her yellow lacy set, she brought from Torrid she quickly puts it on, then her skirt, crop top and finally her socks before putting her shoes on, Grabbing her lanyard which contain her house key and car key and her new Employee Id for Google, before shutting her tv off and fixing her queen size bed with black comforter set covering it. Taking a small glance around the room making sure everything was shut off and checking the bathroom, she heads outside opening and closing the door before locking it with her key. The minute she turned around Joker's car was already on the sidewalk waiting for her. “Hurryy upp” Mariana yells, making Ashanti jog towards his car, getting inside once Sad Eyes steps out to let her in. “Thank you Joker for picking me up.” Ashanti yells. ‘You know I got you, you're family.” Joker says. Turning her attention to Sad Eyes, aka Angel Guzman, Mariana’s brother, she thinks about all the times he used to drive her and Mariana to the liquor store to get snacks for their sleepover, and how she would buy him a coke as a thank you, how he would smile at her making her blush like a schoolgirl, Mariana finally found out her best friend has a crush on her brother when Ashanti told her on a dare, of course like every girl who has a brother thinks EWW!! But later Mariana was glad it was her best friend, somebody who knows how to treat someone unlike Andrea Ramos. Ashanti didn't realize they were there until Sad Eyes tapped on her shoulder. “Are you coming Ash or are you going to sit in this car and stare off in the distance?” Sad Eyes chuckles. Seeing Sad Eyes giving both of his hands to help her out of the car made her start to feel like a schoolgirl over again. “They're here!! Freeridge newest College graduates Ashanti Turner and Mariana Guzman!!”Oscar Diaz, aka Spooky shouts out with a beer in the air in his left hand, once they made their appearance on Oscar's lawn. “Congratulations!! Proud of you!!” Oscar kissing both their foreheads before heading back to his Reina of 4 years Letty Mendez. “Gracias.” Both girls shout so he can hear them. Walking behind Joker and Mariana while Sad Eyes is walking beside her, she felt out of place, since some of Andrea's friends here giving her a glare once they saw her walking next to Sad Eyes. Sad Eyes must have felt her discomfort, grabbing her hand and bringing to his lips and giving it a kiss before saying “It will be okay, enjoy the party it's for you anyway, you and Mariana!!”. 2 hours have passed since arriving to the party and after dancing with Mariana, shaking her ass, letting loose.

Ashanti decides to take a break for herself and grabs a Modelo and heads to the porch in front of Oscars front door, taking a seat and sipping here and there, Ashanti thinks back to the past how far she's overcome, but is interrupted by a voice. “Can I join you?” a voice asks, making Ashanti turning her head and looking up. “Oh sure, if you want?” Ashanti asks, regretting what she just said instantly hitting her forehead with the palm of her left hand. “You're cute” Sad Eyes chuckles, looking at how embarrassed she might have felt right now. “Me??’ Ashanti pointed to herself after looking around to make sure it was her he was talking about. “Yes you” Sad Eyes takes a sip of his beer. “You shouldn't be saying that stuff when you're with someone else .” Ashanti looks at Sad Eyes. “It's complicated.” Sad Eyes looking down at his shoes. “What do you mean complicated?” Ashanti uses air quotes for the word Complicated. “I feel like she's using me, to buy her clothes and shoes or whatever she wants , and also to show off to other girls that she's with me, that I'm taken.” Sad Eyes looking up at Ashanti. “I'm sorry. “ Ashanti put a piece of strand of her curly hair in front of her face. “Don't be. It's not your fault.” Sad Eyes putting that strand of hair in front of her curly hair behind her ear “Don't hide your beautiful face Mamas.” Making Ashanti giggle. “Can I kiss you Ashanti Marie Turner?” Sad Eyes putting his hand under her chin making her look at him. “I don't think t-that's -” Ashanti stutters. “Please just this once.” Sad Eyes looks at her. Ashanti nods. Getting her confirmation, Sad Eyes craved more the minute his lips landed on hers, taking matters into his own hands he slowly leaned in again for a full blow kiss, after receiving a reaction from her he smirked slightly as his arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, Ashanti wraps her arms around his neck, unhooking one arm from his neck, she places her hand on his right cheek, then her other hand on his left cheek, bringing him so much closer now, as both of these two were to focusing on fighting Dominance in this makeout session on the front porch, that they didn't hear Joker and Mariana coming towards them. “Are you guys ready to go home??” Joker asks, while waving his arm that wasn't around Mariana's neck, making Sad Eyes and Ashanti pull away from each other quickly. “Did we interrupt Something?” Mariana smirked, as she can tell they were kissing by the way their lips were looking. “No,No” Both Ashanti and Sad Eyes say, shaking their heads. Monica nods her head, knowing they are lying. “You guys ready??” Joker asks one more time. “Yes” Ashanti and Sad Eyes both reply. Getting up from the porch and walking behind Joker and Mariana, Both Sad Eyes and Ashanti can feel the sexual tension rising as both of them walk beside each other. Getting in and sitting behind Sad Eyes Ashanti blushes at their little make out session. Parking next to the sidewalk in front of her house, Ashanti stepped out of Jokers car after giving Mariana her kisses on her cheek before patting Joker on the bed and stepping out once Sad Eyes got up and opened his door and stepping out, once she was finally out of the car, she looks at Sad Eyes and says as Mariana and Joker look at her, “Sad Eyes do you want to come in, my parents are gone and Jamal's at Ruby's for the night. “ fidgeting with her fingers, once she hears a car door open she looks up, seeing Sad Eyes standing in front of her and says” Yes!!” Sad Eyes chuckles, making Ashanti laugh, walking along the sidewalk towards her front door, they hear Joker scream “Use protection.” Making Mariana hit him on his shoulder before pulling away and driving down the road, Reaching her door, Ashanti walks in front of Sad Eyes, enters her home, and turns around and watches Sad Eyes close the door and locks it before leading him to her bedroom, to watch a movie on Netflix.

Picking The Lodge as the movie they would watch , after she changes to her pink pajamas set, with a soft comfy tank top and a soft and comfy pair of shorts, Ashanti pulls back her covers and slips in and wait for Sad Eyes whos in the bathroom, to start the movie. Hearing the bathroom door open Ashanti pulls back the covers over her so she is mostly covered, and watches as Sad Eyes enters her room and closes and locks her bedroom door, before slipping in her bed next to her. “What are we watching?” Sad Eyes asks , looking at her tv with one of his arms behind his head, and the other one laying across her stomach. “It's called the Lodge, about a woman who babysits her boyfriend's kids while he has to go on a business trip I think.” Ashanti squinting one eye, trying to remember what it said for the movie description. Sad Eyes nods his head, taking in what Ashanti just said, before pressing play. Half an hour in the movie, Ashanti was laying down, with the covers covering her face, just to be prepared for the jump scares. Ashanti jumps as the scary scene pops up on scene, making her yelp and Sad Eyes chuckling, touching Ashanti thigh rubbing back and forth as sign that she's okay, feeling his hand move back and forth on her thigh, Ashanti starts to felt tingling down in her pussy , Ashanti was a virgin, but tonight she wouldn't be anymore. As Sad Eyes turned his attention away from the movie, looking at Ashanti as she was looking back at him, they both could feel the sexual tension, but before anything happened Sad Eyes said “One night, that's all i can offer you Ashanti.” Ashanti nods understanding this is a one-time thing. Sad Eyes turned to the body, laying on his side facing her, looking at her, putting his hand under Ashanti's chin, making her look up at him, leaning in Sad Eyes kisses her lips softly, Ashanti puts her hands behind his neck, Rubbing the back of his head up and down. Sad Eyes, moves from her lips to her neck, kissing it roughly, before sucking it, creating a hickey. Ashanti moans, tilting her head back at the movement, giving him more access's, which he granted. Removing her hands from his neck, moving them down his shirt until she reached the bottom of it, she pulls it up, signaling him to take it off, Sad Eyes stops sucking her neck, getting up from her, sitting up on his knees pulling the shirt over his head, throwing it across her room once it was fully off, before going back down sucking on her neck, kissing up from her neck down to her pussy, stopping it, once he reaches her skirt.Pulling her crop top up and exposing her yellow lacey bra, pulling the bra down freeing her breasts out, squeezing them, rubbing her nipples, pulling them as Sad Eyes places kisses from her neck to below her belly button before stopping in front of her skirt, making her tilt her head back, lifting her stomach. Looking up at Ashanti, Sad Eyes asks for permission to remove her shorts, threw his eyes putting his hands on her waist, once Ashanti gave him a nod as a yes, he wastes no time then pulling each side of the shorts down, until they reach her ankles, yanking them off of her, he throws it across the room. Looking back at Ashanti, Sad Eyes Pulls her legs apart from each other, before kissing her from ankles on both legs to the inside of her thighs on both legs.pulling her underwear to the side, Sad Eyes looks at her one more time, sending her his sexiest smirk, before sticking his long tongue inside her pussy, diving in, putting his arms underneath, her thighs earning a squeal from Ashanti, pulling her closer to him, giving his tongue more access to her black/ pink pussy. Ashanti felt wave of pleasure hitting her, once Sad Eyes stuck his tongue inside of her. ”F-Fuck Angel” Ashanti moans, traveling her hands to her breast before squeezing them, playing with her nipples with her middle finger.”You like that mamas” Sad Eyes words sending a vibration through her body. ”Fuckkk you taste so good, You taste like strawberries my favorite.” He says, adding a finger while he licks her pussy. “A-Angel I’m about to cum!!” Ashanti moans, lifting her stomach up. ”Yeah, you gonna cum for papi, Fuck the more I taste you the harder I get” Sad Eyes feeling his boner growing each lick he licks.“Yeah??!! I want to feel you in my mouth!!, I want to taste you papi” Ashanti tilting her head back. "You will mamas, But first you gotta cum for papi, can you cum for papi??!!” Sad Eyes sticking his long thick fingers in her pussy moving in and out at a rapid pace. `Yes, Yes I can” Ashanti feeling her release coming. Ashanti's body starts to shake, as Sad Eyes sticks his tongue on her, slurping all of her juices in his mouth. Ashanti tries to calm down her breathing after feeling her first release, Sad Eyes looks over at her laughing a little bit. “How do you feel??” Sad Eyes, asks standing up, moving to her side of the bed. “Amazing but it’s your turn now” Ashanti gets on her knees, crawling towards Sad Eyes on the bed, reaching him Ashanti wraps her small , yellow manicured nails around his long thick cock, before looking up at him through her eyes lashes.``Your soo big” Ashanti looks down at his cock, moving her hand up and down, making Sad Eyes groan. “Stop teasing Ash, put it in your mouth baby, stop being a tease, show papi how deep you can swallow my cock!!” Sad Eyes looks down at her. Without a warning, Ashanti places his cock in her mouth, hitting the back of her throat moving her head up and down slowly at first before speeding up. Sad Eyes brings a hand to her hair, grabbing a fistful before moving her head faster and faster. “F-Fuck look at the good girl, how she can suck a cock just like a porn star!! I bet you mom and dad don’t know how much of a freak their daughter is huh??” Sad Eyes leaning his head back.Ashanti moans, sending vibrations to Sad Eyes body, looking down at her, he can see tears coming out of her eyes, making him almost releasing. F-Fuck baby, Your gonna make me release in your mouth.” “Do it” Ashanti mumbles, pulling Sad Eyes closer to her, grabbing the back of his thighs, pushing them forward towards her. “No, I want to feel how much of a freak you can be!” Sad Eyes, pulling his cock out of her mouth, Ashanti felt some spit drip down from her mouth to the floor. Sad Eyes picks her up, throwing her on her stomach, Ashanti already knows this position she saw it so many times on Pornhub, arching her body, waiting for him. Sad Eyes taking in the view, slowly hands his hands down from her back to her ass, Smacking each ass cheeks until each ass cheeks is turning red before leaning forward, his top carefully lays on top of her off, whispering in her ear. “You are not allowed to cum until I do??!! Understand!! IF YOU DO, papi will destroy that tight little pussy of yours so rough, that you won’t be able to leave your bed for weeks.” Sad Eyes commands, kissing her cheek before grabbing her waist pulling her closer to him. Sad Eyes wasted no time and slammed into her, Ashanti moans the feeling of him going in and out making her throw her head back, grabbing a fistful of her hair, pounding into her fast and rough, Sad Eyes groans, feeling her clench around his cock like a little pornstar would, ”F-Fuck Ashanti who knew the little good girl had some bomb ass pussy.” Sad Eyes chuckles. ”Yess papi!!” Ashanti biting her lip, trying to hide her moan. ”Don't be shy, Let those moans out baby, let you're neighbors know who's fucking you so good!!” Sad Eyes wrapping his other hand around her neck, choking a little bit. ”F-Fuck Angel, I'm about to cumm” Ashanti whimpers. ”Dammm you love to be choked too, dammn you're a freak for sure!!, HOLD THAT SHIT UNDERSTAND!!” Sad Eyes grunts, feeling his release approaching. ”I-I-I can't hold it any longer” Ashanti cries in pleasure. ”FUCKK HERE IT COMES BABY!!” Sad Eyes, growls, spilling all his cum inside of her, painting her walls white ” Cum for papi.”Hearing Sad Eyes, giving her permission, Ashanti waiting no time cumming so hard she and his cum mixed together inside of her and on his cock. Pulling out of Ashanti, Sad Eyes watches as Her body lay flat, while she was still gripping the sheets, chuckling at the sight, before heading to the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth from her bathroom and wetting two towels from the sink and wiping himself before heading back to Ashanti wiping her down with the we towel before placing her under the covers, closing her bedroom door he heads back to the bed, laying next to her, he watches her turn over and look at him. ”What??!!” Sad Eyes laughs. ”Thank you for being my first.” Ashanti says, caressing his cheek. ”Wait you're joking right.” Sad Eyes gasps. ”No I'm not.” Ashanti shaking her head. Sad Eyes gets up and checks the covers, not seeing any blood, he pushes the blankets back, seeing a big red spot on the mattress. ”Fuck, why didn't you tell me??!!, I wouldn't have been so rough on you.” Sad Eyes exclaims. ”I knew if I did you wouldn't have done it, besides I wanted it rough. ” Ashanti taking the blankets off the bed. ”But the way you suck my cock and the stuff you did, people who aren't virgins Don't really do what you did.” putting his hands on his waist. ”There's porn websites like Pornhub, redtube.” Ashanti placed the old blankets in the hamper in her room, grabbing new sheets from her closet. ”Fuck, I don't know what to say” Sad Eyes helping her make the bed. ”Don't say anything, Don't beat yourself up, I love the way you fucked me, even if it's one night.” Ashanti placed a kiss on his cheek stepping on her tiptoes. ”Is it bad that I want another round but this time in you're shower?” Sad Eyes looks down at her. ”No, Because I was thinking the same thing.” Ashanti giggling. ”Well in that case.” picking her up, opening her bedroom door, walking her to the shower closing the door behind them, after making her bed. After they finished around 2, they finished round 3 in the kitchen, Sad Eyes fucking her over the sink. As the night processed, neither one of them didn't realize the risk of not using the protection.

*Next Morning*

Ashanti woke up, to her front door being opened, and closing, hearing her parents, brother's voice, she starts to panic thinking that Sad Eyes was still here, turning over and seeing the side he slept on empty, she calmed down, but she knew it was just for one night but she still felt a little upset that he did leave, even though she agreed to it.

*ending*

Ashanti knew how much fun it would be , inviting him in her home, but what she didn't know was how much drama would enter her life by having one night of fun.

Ashanti looks at her phone, staring at the number she just typed in, debating on calling the person, Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly, opening her eyes. She clicks on the phone icon before putting the phone to her ear, waiting for the other person to answer, after the phone rang for a second time someone picks it up. ”Hello?” The person on the other side of the phone call asks.

”Hey it's me, can we meet up and talk, it's really important ” Ashanti tried not to sound upset. . ”Yeah, I'll come over tomorrow at 2 is that okay.” the other voice answers. ” See you then.” Ashanti replies before hanging up the phone, placing her phone by her side, looking at her fingers, letting the tears fall down her beautiful brown face.

@thewarriorprincessxo @firebenderwolf @sincerelyasomebody @imaginetrahs

#sad eyes x reader #sad eyes x plus size reader

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stonertransdad · 3 years

Text

Life Update since I hadn't been on here in forever

The pandemic was/is wild! Lockdowns started literally around the time we were going to the fertility specialist to get her pregnant. I lost my job to COVID in March shortly before we did the procedure, but we decided there's never really a good time to have a kid. Why not during a global pandemic when one of us in unemployed? (BTW, I don't recommend having a kid during a pandemic. Not being able to go to all of the appointments and having to sit in the parking lot was brutal.)

Let's talk about May friends...it was rough. (TW for mention of suicide btw. I'll post a gif where it's safe to start again if you wanna skip over it.)

So May 1st is the anniversary of my father's suicide. It had been 4 years. I found his body and since he wasn't married, I had to handle his affairs and arrange his funeral. May 1st, 2020 my wife and I had a Zoom game night with our friends and I got drunk because everyone was drinking (except my wife because she was pregnant). After our game night at like 2am, I had a psychotic break. I threatened to kill myself numerous times. My wife tried to talk me down, but eventually called the cops to take me. I thank her for that because looking back, that was the moment I knew something needed to change. I was convinced the cops were gonna kill me because I'm a trans dude in rural West Texas. I legit took the phone out of my wife's hand, hung up on 911, and yeeted her phone across the backyard and tried to hop the fence. Eventually the cops came and talked me down. They took me to the hospital an hour away in handcuffs (for their protection I did nothing wrong). They took me to the religious hospital that I was born in. So when they looked up my info by my name and date of birth from my driver's license (I only changed my middle name) literally all my paperwork and my bracelet had my deadname and wrong gender despite all of my legal stuff saying male with my new middle name. I mentioned it to them and they didn't care. They misgendered me the entire time I was there. I had hit my head hella hard on the bath tub when my wife was trying to snap me out of it, did the hospital even check me for concussion? Nope. I had punched so many things and my hand and wrist were swollen and discolored. Did they check out my hand and wrist? Nope. I was there for over 10 hours before I was able to convince them I was okay and that it was just the alcohol. Did I mention during that 10 hours I was literally out in the hall on a gurney with no mask and this was when COVID was running rampant in Texas (the first time)? I heard people die that night. I had nothing to distract me because they took away all of my personal items and clothes. My wife picked me up and we went home and I have been sober ever since. It's not the first psychotic break I've had with alcohol in my system. Alcohol just doesn't agree with me, but I'm finding new things to replace it with.

TW has been lifted...it's safe now.

A couple of weeks after that I began teletherapy because I had been on the same mood stabilizer and anti-depressant for almost a decade. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I felt like it hadn't been working for at least a year. This is a reminder to check in with your doctor if you feel like your meds aren't working. You may just need a different dose or a new med. There's no shame in that. I bounced around on various medications trying to find the right combo, some side effects scarier than others, but we got there. Before this, I had been diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist threw out my Borderline diagnosis and said it was CPTSD instead, which made sense.

Fast forward to December because my wife was pregnant, I was unemployed still, and we did absolutely fuck-all because the global panini was still raging.

Our son was born on December 3, 2020. He weighed 5lbs 9oz and scared the ever loving shit out of us. He wasn't breathing when he was born so they called NICU in ASAP. I'm freaking out because I can hear and see what's going on while my wife was asking if he was okay as they put her guts back in place to sew her up. 5 or so minutes pass and a nurse asks if I want her to take some pictures. I'm like is he okay, he still hasn't cried. She's like "oh yeah, he's chillin." This goon was being held by a nurse and was just looking around not crying or anything. Chillest baby ever (he still is btw). I held him next to my wife's head until it was time to go back to the room. Little dude did have to spend 4 nights in the NICU because he couldn't keep his sugars or temperature regulated, but he was healthy otherwise. He's now 4 months old and is starting to sit up on his own a little bit and he's OBSESSED with standing. He's still a little guy, but very healthy and growing like a weed. He saves my life daily.

So after being unemployed for over 9 months, I started a new job working in a call center. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It gives me anxiety and throws me into panic attacks, but I had been putting out hundreds of job applications since I lost my last job and this was the first offer I got. I wasn't really in a position to turn it down since my unemployment had ran out 2 months prior. It was 2 months of training, then we'd be on our own. I got thru the training and thought I could handle it...until they started putting us on live calls with someone helping us if we got stuck. My mental health hit the lowest point it had in a few years and my wife was terrified she was going to lose me. She convinced me to quit on February 28th (not because I didn't want to, but because I'm a stubborn ass who felt guilty). My meds got tweaked a little bit more dosage wise during this mess.

Starting about mid-February, I was experiencing severe shakiness, tremors, and spasms. I've always been a shaky person and never really thought too much about it, but at some points I could barely feed myself, or get a drink, or hold my son. On March 7th, I tried to make an appointment with my doctor about the weird symptoms I was experiencing, but she was out of town and her next opening wasn't until the 31st. My body said that won't work and my wife rushed me to the ER on the 9th...I had begun having seizures that day. I had no previous history of seizures. Got to the ER and had a seizure literally as I was walking thru the door, so they rushed me straight back. They took some blood and that was literally it. No MRI. No CT. They pumped me full of Ativan and said it was just a panic attack and to go home and chill.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn't just anxiety. I was having 20+ seizures a day. On the 10th, my wife rushed me to a different hospital...the good hospital over an hour away. First we had to drop off our gremlin with my mom to make things a little easier. Yet again, I had a seizure as I walked in the door and was taken back immediately. I don't really remember much because they kept pumping me full of Ativan and morphine because I had been in excruciating pain from the number of seizures I'd had. I do remember them doing a CT pretty quickly after I got there. Then they weren't happy with the results of the CT, so they took me to get an MRI, which showed possible signs of Multiple Sclerosis (but I didn't find that out until AFTER the notes showed up in my patient portal after being home a few days, so I raised hell...more on that later.) They did a 24 hour EEG on me and it showed nothing abnormal. Also, EEG glue is a bitch on your hair and scalp. After looking at everything and given my previous mental health history, they diagnosed me with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, or PNES. It is a subset of Functional Neurologic Disorder, or FND. I couldn't walk well anymore and had to use a walker when I was discharged. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

When I had my follow-up appointment on the 23rd, I asked why the possibility of MS was never mentioned to me since it was very clearly in the notes. The doctor didn't have an explanation. He called in a referral to neurology so I could get a 2nd MRI to confirm MS and marked it as high priority. He also didn't take my pain seriously. My pain levels had been at a 5 or higher every single minute since they took me off of the morphine in the hospital. He told me to keep taking prescription strength doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which I had been. I let him know I had been and it didn't even take the edge off the pain. He ignored me. Leading up to this appointment, I had also added urinary incontinence to my growing list of symptoms and was forced to wear diapers so I didn't have to do laundry all the time. The doctor also took me off my ADHD meds because they were lowering my seizure threshold. He also took me off of my sleeping meds and nightmare meds for the same reason I'm assuming.

I kept my appointment on the 31st with my primary doctor because she's been my doctor for 5 years now and I knew she'd take my pain seriously. She did. She immediately wrote me prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and Tylenol 4. She also told me that my referral had been rejected by neuro. She said my case wasn't a good one for what she called a "wallet biopsy" and the doctors in neurology could be real assholes. She immediately sent the referral to other locations to get an approval. I am still waiting on that despite it being marked as high priority. She wrote me a prescription for a wheelchair because we both agreed my wheelchair was not enough for particular days.

Yesterday my wheelchair was finally ready for pickup, so my wife drove me to go get it. I'm still unable to drive due to my seizures and my tremors and twitches as it's predominantly in my legs and arms. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user now. Some days I can go short distances without my walker, some days I can't go without my walker, some days I can't even get out of bed, and some days I will be using my wheelchair. Don't judge a book by its cover, not all disabilities are visible. I have managed to keep my daily seizure count down in single digits and have even had a few seizure free days. They are still incredibly taxing on my body. I feel like I can't ever replenish my spoons fast enough to keep up with anything in my life.

So all in all, life has been chaotic. We are moving from Texas to New Mexico in the next few weeks, which should be interesting considering I can't overdo it without throwing myself into seizures. We will be closer to my mother-in-law so she can help us with our son and I can start resting a bit more on the more difficult days. Being a stay-at-home dad with an invisible illness has been one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to update my followers since it's been over a year since I posted before a few days ago.

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crazy4dragons · 3 years

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Like Heaven AU Couple’s Tag! (Hiccup answers for Astrid)

1. Name your partner’s two closest friends. Apart from me, Astrid doesn’t really have a best friend. She has plenty of friends, but she’s not the type of person with a “go-to” friend when she wants a night out. She tends to go out in a group with her co-workers or friends from college.

2. What is your partner’s favorite musical group, composer, or instrument? The Zipplebacks.

3. What was your partner wearing when you first met? Our middle school uniform.

4. What are your partner’s hobbies? Working out, listening to music, axe-throwing, watching cheesy movies, going out with friends.

5. Where was your partner born? Berk.

6. What stresses are facing your partner in the immediate future? Astrid is worried she’ll get demoted at her job because she’s been having a lot of fatigue and morning sickness and has to take more sick days than usual. She’ll also need to apply for another maternity leave when Baby #2 gets here.

7. Describe in detail your partner’s day, either today or yesterday. She woke up, nursed the baby, went for a morning walk, had breakfast with me, went to work, came home, ate dinner, gave the baby his bath and nursed him again before bed, then snuggled and hung out with me until she fell asleep.

8. When is your partner’s birthday? January 10 (she’s about six weeks older than me!).

9. What is the date of your anniversary? Which one? Our friendship anniversary is April 3, the date we first hooked up is July 22, the date I asked her to be my girlfriend is July 26, the date I asked her to marry me was July 26 of the next year, and our wedding anniversary is September 30.

10. Who is your partner’s most favorite relative? Her Uncle Finn Hofferson.

11. What is your partner’s fondest dream, as yet unachieved? Astrid would love to open her own gym someday. She’d also like to compete in the Olympics.

12. What is your partner’s favorite flower? White roses.

13. What is one of your partner’s greatest disaster scenarios? Astrid isn’t really disaster-prone, but her worst fear is needing a c-section with one of the babies. She had to have surgery on her shoulder right out of college, and it took her longer than average to recover. She doesn’t want any more surgeries.

14. What is your partner’s favorite time for making love? We both like morning sex, but Astrid especially does because it’s easy for her to jump in the shower and wash up for the day after. She also likes spontaneous sex during the day. Her favorite time was when we did it in the middle of the afternoon, in a fitting room at the mall (don’t ask why).

15. What makes your partner feel most competent? Being successful in her career and being a good Mama.

16. What turns your partner on sexually? Uhh...I don’t want to go into details. She likes when I talk dirty to her during sex. She also likes being touched in certain places I won’t mention. Kissing her neck or below her ear turns her on, too.

17. What is your partner’s favorite meal? Chocolate chip pancakes, coffee with cream and no sugar, and a fruit cup.

18. What is your partner’s favorite way to spend an evening? Watching movies, cuddling our baby boy before he goes to bed, having sex with me if she’s in the mood.

19. What is your partner’s favorite color? Baby blue.

#hiccstrid #like heaven au #modern au #modern au hiccstrid #married hiccstrid #headcanon #hiccstrid headcanon #httyd #couple’s tag

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thejosh1980 · 3 years

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(Seems like) Years since yesterday...

Today, 1 year ago, is a special day...

One year ago today was the last time I bought myself a new guitar... I always wanted a Guild, and as I had been touring a lot with The Cashbags I figured I could now afford it. It's blonde, with P90s and as close as I could get to one of my idols, Dave G from The Paladins.

I bought it second hand via “Ebay Kleinanzeigen”, right before a show with The Cashbags. The guy came to the venue, before sound check and I tried it out. I was in love... I bought it there and then...

I played it that night at The Cashbags show too. This was the only show I played my own guitar during all my years touring with the band. Usually I would use the band gear, as it best suited the look the band wanted (and it was easy for me, I didn't have to carry my guitar and amp to and from shows)...

It's also the only show I have so far played with this guitar...

Why?

Well that's cause of that damn pandemic.

You see, that show in Langenselbold was to become the last one The Cashbags would play with me...

I knew I was leaving the band at the end of the tour, which was at the end of April, but COVID had a different plan. It's kinda hard to explain how it felt driving to the show, a good 6 hours, with 1 or 2 date cancellations happening along the way... However, by the the next morning hotel breakfast, the rest of the tour was cancelled.

We lost 6 solid weeks of shows...

But how naive I was. I thought we'd be back at it pretty soon; dates rescheduled, last minute shows would be booked... you know the deal. But in the end, I didn't share the stage with the band again, I didn't get to say goodbye to half the band members before leaving Germany either.

Alex and I had only been married 10 days when restrictions started to begin in Germany. The full lockdown was a week or two later, wasn't it? I don't know, it's all a bit of a blur.

I was lucky, at the time, I had my studio which was all mine, so I could get out of the apartment, walk the dog and play guitar, loud... The new guitar got some action, behind closed doors of course.

You know the story, we started selling up, packing up and, eventually, moved down under...

It feels surreal to think how, at the time, we had no idea how this was going to affect us. It's quite clear the pandemic has brought out the best (and worst) in people.

I think for me, during my time in Dresden's restrictions, everything felt, well, OK. It didn't feel too bad, but I had a lot to focus on. The “goodbyes” to everyone was the hardest thing. I don't remember being under the weather, depressed or sick. I may have been, but whatever negative thoughts and feelings there were, they weren't strong during that time.

I was lucky to be one of the earlier guests on the Blue Note live stream in March, which encouraged me to do my own live streams in April and May. As unprepared as I was to learn so many new songs, it was a good focus, until it got too much.

In July we had “The Josh Fest” which was too much for my emotions. Dresden, I feel the love. I'm so thankful (and lucky) so many friends could come out for one last party. Reuniting old bands, new bands and old friends on stage, it'll go down as one of the best shows in my life. One that ended with me in tears...

When we had the first cancelled flight and rescheduled flights in mid July, I don't remember feeling too bad about it all either. I didn't like it, but our delay was only a week or two. And we had a roof over our head and Alex's family there to support us.

But once the 3rd or 4th rescheduled flight happened it started to get scary and worrying. I remember some really bad days in Meine. I had lost all hope of getting home. We were in limbo, and had little control over the situation. Our health insurances had expired, we were no longer registered in Germany and were worried constantly if the next flight would let us on. So many last minute cancellations, wears one down. I spent quite a bit of my time frustrated, depressed and helpless during those 2 months.

Once we took control, used some savings and bought ourselves new flights, we made it to Adelaide. I definitely felt better by taking action. However, another set of challenges arise, quarantine isn't fun. We were lucky with our hotel, room and food, but it's still tough... Very tough... And I sympathize with everyone who's had to go through it, especially those who are doing it under hardship.

In late September we made it mum's. We finally made it... I'd been waiting for this moment for a year (longer than originally planned of course). I made the decision to move in September/October 2019. I had achieved a lot in Europe, so many amazing adventures (good and challening) that I'll have enough memories to last a life time (if I can remember them!).

I wanted to come back and take care of my family.

When we arrived at mum's, it hit me... I was back! I didn't feel the excitement I thought I would. I felt bad for Mum. Like, shouldn't I have been crying? Shouldn't I have been screaming! “I'm baaaaaaack!!!” In the end I think it was just relief... We'd arrived almost 3 months later than expected. We needed to settle in.

I think settling in took a while. Is it still happening? Even the smell of the fresh salt air knocks you out! Lots of new things to get used to. Integration had begun. Usually I returned home for a holiday, now it was a return for good. This is a full time permanent position.

I did enjoy October through to January. Alex wasn't working, we had time to do stuff, relax... Enjoy the local scene. I don't surf every day, but definitely as often as conditions allow. I did some work, which I previously blogged about. Alex started working in December, and she loves her job... Things were pretty good...

I was, I still am, trying to get over saying goodbye to my puppy, my friends and wondering why I had little motivation to pick up the guitar...

In mid January Mijo, my little kitten, came into my life. Thanks to my wonderful wife, she knew full well I wouldn't decide to get a pet on my own, and on the responsibility to bring some fur into our lives. Damn I'm lucky.

In fact, Alex's intuition is amazing... She always seems to know know when to ask questions, when to listen, when to take action and when to bring coffee. Bless her cotton socks...

However come February I'd hit the wall. I don't know what it is, what it was.... But it's been a little while coming, and hasn't gone away. It did leave me in bed for 3 days, and don't ask me the reason, cause I can't tell you.

I've had a lot of motivation issues... I just don't feel like getting up... I have to, because I gotta drive mum to work and pick her up. Once back home, usually I drink coffee and force myself to do something, anything... I've used the excuse of “training Mijo” that I visit friends with him, but really my heart hasn't been in it. I just know I'd feel guilty if I didn't do anything...

I've had a lot of paperwork to fill out since getting home. Bank accounts and all that kind of stuff... Alex's visa (which is still on going for another 18 months or so). Also local government bureaucratic stuff I have to deal with. Taxes! I'm planning to start studying in April, but to enroll the process comes with a lot of documentation, questions and answers...

So... Lately...

I have distanced myself from everyone lately. Except for a few moments, I haven't picked up the guitar in almost 12 months. I barely do anything. Writing this blog today, has taken a lot of energy and focus to start. If it wasn't for the “anniversary” today, I wouldn't have even begun to type.

To help you understand the hole I was (and still am) in... I have been blessed with a roof over my head, food every day, a loving wife, a beautiful kitten, a loving mum (and family and friends), the beach, the sounds of birds waking me up and (mostly) great weather... But I'm still unhappy...

How could that be? Why is that?

I know I wrote a few times before, that writing has helped me process my feelings. So I figured I'd better try it. Practice what I preach!... But don't ask me how I feel, I just don't know... and it can change in a heart beat.

I got out of bed today, and I did some office work... First time in over a week... Stuff I've been putting off... I'll need to make a few calls this afternoon too... But in between I think I'll rest... Relax...

Usually, I push myself too much... I have pushed myself to the edge (again)... I've been feeling desperate, unmotivated, hopeless, helpless and, well, just plain shit... I know I gotta get out of it, but these days I'm trying a new approach: pull back, relax, rethink, rest and figure out the right balance... So far I am somewhere in the middle....

At least I think I feel better than when I was constantly powering through and not acknowledging my feelings.

I'm my worst critic, and I feel guilty if I don't “do” every day... I gotta “do” this or that... But sometimes you gotta take care of yourself... That is also a “do”... isn't it? Self care. Self love. Listening to your body.

So it's been one of the roughest years in a long time for us... hasn't it??

Damn...

Please don't do what I do and ignore the stress and pressure... What I mean is, there's been so many new things for all of us, so many new challenges, we forget how far we've come. We forget we are still here.

We have achieved so much, even if it's the fact we got out of bed today!!!

We need to be kind to each other, but more importantly to ourselves. I wouldn't treat my pet, my friends or my family as badly as I do myself, so why am I doing that?? It's gotta stop.

I gotta listen to myself when I don't feel up to it, and forgive myself for putting myself first... Rest... Reflection... Relaxing... Recuperation... Maybe then I can begin the next chore... Like filling out this damn paperwork just to get into college...

https://youtu.be/-rkq9ffBpWY - The Paladins - Years Since Yesterday

Thanks for reading,

Josh

#depression #ptsd #musicians #pandemic #anxiety #struggling #self love

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kenyizsuartblog · 4 years

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Three Years of Diablo fanfiction

Hi, everyone!

So, yesterday was the third birthday of my biggest project yet, That First Spark, and well... it kinda got me thinking and reminiscing about the road up to this point. I know most of my Watchers aren't reading the story, or aren't into Diablo in general, so feel free to skip this journal, you won't miss anything. :)

Not gonna lie, I did not realize for the longest time that it has already been three years since I uploaded Chapter 1 onto Fanfiction.net - and back then, it was supposed to be a oneshot! I just had this idea of “wouldn’t it be interesting if Lyndon found Inarius and rescued him somehow?”, and that was it. But right after I’ve uploaded this oneshot, I began brainstorming. Could I spin into an actual long story, was there enough material to do so? Behind the scenes I wrote scenes for practice (some actually made it into the story proper later, if edited), I was trying to map out the general flow of the first arc, and just generally conducting scientific experiments over it. While I am a Discovery Writer, and thus work with the most basic planning possible, I did not want to actually start a story, if there was no viable path for it.

But… there was a path. And here we are now, 3 years and 55 chapters later. 3 very, very weird years.

I branched out to new sites because of this fanfiction, including Tumblr and Archives of Our Own. On Tumblr, I’ve done and still doing my best to create and maintain a well-organized blog with all the necessary information, and I hope to improve on this field down the road. On AO3, my fanfic inspired another writer to make their own story, which makes me so happy and proud I cannot put it into words, honestly! I would have never imagined my work would have this effect on anybody.

I’ve got dragged into a hidden hive of scum and villainy that masquerades as an “accepting and inclusive Diablo community” on Tumblr to this day. They are lying. Go figure. They backstabbed me for no reason (none they bothered to ever mention) at my lowest and left me to bleed out – that almost killed the fanfiction. But I have also met a single virtuous person in that very same ”””community””” who actually practiced what he preaches, and listened and talked to me when all the others were busy conspiring against me. I still consider him a good friend, and I hope he does the same of me. If not, well, that is his business alone. But that experience taught me some very valuable lessons and shaped my worldview to what it is today. And for the record, no, thankfully my worldview is still very far away from “everything sucks and everyone is an asshole”.

My nephew was born in 2018 and he is the cutest kid you can possibly find! I became his godmother too!

I graduated from my architecture university, after 6 years, and began looking for a job. That in on itself had been one hell of a roller coaster. But I’ve settled down in an office and stayed there for over a year now. How long will I stick with this job, and this profession? Hopefully as little time as possible. Architecture did not become my calling.

Diablo 4 was announced in Blizzcon 2019, and I basically went batshit insane when it turned it Lilith will be the main antagonist. There are no words describing my hatred towards that bitch, I cannot wait to wipe the floor with her for good!

I’ve celebrated my 4-year-anniversary with my boyfriend this year. <3

And most surprisingly, this fanfic taught me to maintain my focus and motivation better. In March of this year, I have decided to no longer excuse my truly horrendous uploading schedule away with “shifting inspiration and focus” and other such nonsense, and aimed to have a new chapter out every month. I’ll be honest, I had my doubts if I could have stuck with it, but here we are more than half a year since then and I’m still going strong! This was actually a revelation to me. I’m quite the opposite of the “Unorganized artist” archetype, I live for organization and good day schedules, but for the longest time I had difficulty to stick with a topic for long, or have an actual framework for it. I’ve still not fully knocked this bad habit yet (why hello there, Megaman fancomic I really need to finish…), but just the fact that I could manage to pull it off in one project’s case boosts my confidence in it.

I have improved a lot as a writer, and I cannot wait to continue improving and put all of my experiences from this endeavor to future stories, including DuatStories, and even my own fantasy novel one day, hopefully. Of course there is still a lot for me to learn. The monthly updates and my Discovery Writing style together mean the pacing isn’t all that spot-on, there are important details and information that gets forgotten or come up at a much later time than it was first supposed to, and of course the usual grammatical errors and misspellings. Maybe my next goal should be to learn to plan a story out more in advance! Wouldn’t that be nice. XD

And, well, I know That First Spark is not a super popular story, most of my Watchers don’t read it. And that’s okay! Diablo has a large community but most of it focuses on seasonal plays and builds, so the fanart section gets left behind. This is a fact I have accepted a long time ago and have no real qualms with it. I have fun creating it, and apparently, some people really enjoy it, even if silently. One to the point of being inspired by it! Of course the followers of Belial who cause further division and isolation with their venom do not improve things in this part of the fandom, either. There is no helping that part, all I can do is keep doing what I love doing, and what I love doing is basically drown myself into the lore and use it for a ridiculously long adventure story.

So for everyone who reads this fanfiction, even if you leave no trace behind, I thank you. For your attention, for your time, for your patience. Here’s to years more of running around in Sanctuary like a headless chicken, almost dying every other week and saving the world on the side once per month! Let’s hope I’ll finish this adventure before Diablo 4 comes out ;) I might have a chance for that!

Thank you for reading! And remember, guys.

Everything is going to be alright.

2020.10.16.

#that first spark #diablo #three year anniversary #birthday musings #I don't normally do this I swear #but this is a special occasion

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actuallykiwi · 4 years

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OC-tober 7th: Pre and Post Game Life

OC: Annie Sinclair, Alec Sinclair / Featuring: Codsworth, Nick, Hancock, mentioned names

Enjoy :)

***********************

Spring would always be Annie’s favorite season, but man she loved fall, too. Especially since the weather was just perfect for a Saturday.

October 23, 2077 was her first day off from the day care in weeks, and she was looking forward to it. She lie in bed and remembered telling the kids in her class yesterday about how excited she was to go see a movie with her best friend, walk around the park, and then have her favorite meal with Alec for dinner.

So when she rose from her pillow that morning, little did she know her plans would change drastically.

“Morning, Codsworth!” She said cheerfully as she approached him in the kitchen.

“Ah, good morning, mum! Your coffee; 173.5 degrees Fahrenheit, brewed to perfection!” The Mr. Handy robot spun around the counter, carefully holding the steaming mug out to her. She chuckled, “Why, thank you! Glad I actually have time to enjoy it today.” She carefully set it on the counter and prepared her blasphemous amounts of cream and sugar. Typically Codsworth would do that, but it was the one thing Annie insisted on doing herself. Mainly because he commented on the sheer amount of sugar and caffeine she poured into it each day.

“I’m assuming sleepyhead is still asleep?” She wondered out loud to Codsworth. “Yes, mum! Sir Alec is peacefully sleeping his day away, though I did hear him mumble something about space monkeys at around 4 am.”

Annie laughed. “He is a space monkey. But he did get off from his shift pretty late last night. I’m gonna check on him.” She grabbed her coffee and headed down the hall to his closed door. After gently knocking, she cracked it open just enough to poke her head in.

His soft snoring drifted into the hallway. Army fatigues littered the floor next to his bed from when he was too exhausted to change last night. “Bless your heart, Al. They’re working you to death. What exactly are they expecting to-?”

The doorbell echoed from the living room, causing Annie to jump and Alec’s snoring to pause for a brief moment, then resume quietly.

Annie placed her coffee back on the counter. “I believe it’s that salesman again, Miss Annie. He can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, can he?” Codsworth explained from the window. “He’s just doing his job, Cods. Let’s see what’s up.” She tightened her bathrobe and adjusted her bun before opening the door.

“Good morning! Vault-Tec calling!” A Vault-Tec Sales Rep approached her with an all-too-wide smile on his face. “Good morning!” She politely smiled back.

“Isn’t it? Just look at that sky up there!” He paused to gesture also-too-widely, and cleared his throat when she nodded awkwardly. “*ahem* You can't begin to know how happy I am to finally speak with you. I've been trying for days. It's a matter of utmost urgency, I assure you.”

“Oh, well, then I’m sure glad you came!” She laughed nervously.

“Yes ma’am, I am too. Now, I know you're a busy woman, so I won't take up much of your time. Time being a, um, precious commodity... I'm here today to tell you that because of your family's service to our country, you have been pre-selected for entrance into the local Vault. Vault 111.” This man bounced back and forth from being overly excited to clearly being afraid of something. Annie was beginning to be a little worried. “Oh, okay, uh, great! Where do we sign up?”

“You’re actually already cleared for entry! Just need to verify some information, is all, you know, in case of uh.. total atomic annihilation.” He whispered the last part.

Now Annie was worried. “Right, okay...” She took the clipboard and filled out the information, while tentatively watching him glance around nervously. “You don’t think that will actually happen, do you..?”

He took the clipboard from her. “U-uh, well it’s always better to be prepared, right?” He glanced down at the papers. “Wonderful! I’ll just run these over to the vault, and congratulations on being prepared for the future-!”

The door was closed suddenly as half-awake Alec leaned against it. “That guy again? Annie, don’t tell me you bought anything from him?”

“No, of course not! He was just telling us that we’re cleared for entry into that vault on the hill, in case of ‘total atomic annihilation!’“ She mimicked the sales rep, and Alec chuckled. “Yep, thanks to yours truly.” He grinned and wandered off to get his coffee from Codsworth.

“Well, I’m gonna go freshen up real quick.” Annie stretched and went to the bathroom for just that.

A few moments passed, and she was just finishing tying her bandana up in her hair when she overheard Alec from the living room. “Wait, Cods, turn that up.”

“What’s going on?” She asked as she entered the living room, finding Alec huddled by the TV.

“Followed by... yes, followed by flashes. Blinding flashes. Sounds of explosions... We're... we're trying to get confirmation... But we seem to have lost contact with our affiliate stations... W-We do have coming in... That's um... confirmed reports. I repeat, confirmed reports of nuclear detonations in New York and Pennsylvania. My God.”

The TV went black. Silence roared as Annie and Alec exchanged fearful looks.

Then all hell broke loose when the air raid sirens cried their woeful cry.

---------------------------------

How much time had passed? 1 day? 1 week? 1 year? She didn’t know. But when Annie opened her frosted eyes, it felt like it had been ages. A horrible gag escaped her throat when her pod suddenly opened, causing her to fall to her hands and knees and retch on the floor.

She took deep, heaving breaths and shivered. “That... was not a decontamination pod.” She muttered. The difficult part was standing up, as if she had forgot how to. But she was able to weakly get on her feet and stumble to her brother’s pod directly across from hers. Only, she wasn’t expecting to find it already open, and empty.

“W-what? Alec!?” She cried out, and turned to look around. “Alec!!??”

Then, ever so faintly she swore she imagined it, she heard it way off in the distance. “Anneka!!”

They made a promise to each other when they were little. A promise to only say each other’s full names when something was really wrong. And she knew, not only from her full name, but from the plain fear in his voice that something was very, very wrong.

“ALEXANDER!!” She screamed, and began staggering as fast as she could towards the exit. She only paused when the door wouldn’t open to cough some more, then promptly gained her footing and ran to find another way out.

The only thing that made her pause again was the site of the roaches the size of small dogs. And the several vault-tec-adorned skeletons littering the vault. “How long has it been...?” When she found the 10mm pistol, she was glad Alec taught her to shoot when she was in high school. It made the rest of her escape easier for her.

When she eventually found the Pip-Boy and made it to the elevator, it was coming down, when it should have been up this whole time. She called his name again, but when there was yet again no answer, she tentatively stepped onto the platform and let it raise her joltingly to the surface.

A thousand thoughts were swimming through her mind, so when she adjusted to the sudden sunlight, she wasted no time in jumping off before the platform even fully stopped and frantically began calling his name. “Alexander!!! Alec!! Al-...Al...”

And she took it all in. The world she once knew, decayed to almost nothing. All the green, gone. All the life, dissipated. She fell to her knees in shock. “A...Alec...” And the tears fell. The tears fell and the vocal cords were strained from agony.

Moments passed before she finally lifted herself from the ground, dusting off her vault suit, still damp with frost.

And a new fire burned in her. An inferno of determination to find her brother, and adapt to this new, terrifying world.

“Don’t worry, Alec. I promise you..” She adjusted her glasses and looked at the sky. “I will find you if it’s the last thing I do.”

------------------------

“And I did... didn’t I...?” She said quietly to herself.

Annie had been walking around Sanctuary, reminiscing about her promise, and where it’s taken her. In the backyard of her dilapidated house, a small, white handmade cross sit still on a mound, covered in wildflowers. And an aging military picture of Alexander Sinclair was pinned safely in the middle.

“I just wish I could’ve found you sooner. But, no sense dwelling on that, right? I’m happy for those last few moments I had with you.” She crouched in front of him and rubbed the picture endearingly. Tears trickled down as she smiled sorrowfully at him. “I miss you, Alec. Every day. But we’re making a peaceful Commonwealth here. You’d be happy.”

“Annie? Time for the speech, doll.” Nick called from the house.

“Oh, coming!” She wiped her face quickly. “Sorry, looks like I’m needed! I’ll be back soon. Love you.” She kissed her fingers and tapped them on the picture, then scurried back to the street where the crowd was waiting.

A soap box sat patiently waiting for her underneath the strung lights along the street, and the banner from the tree that read “United Commonwealth 1st Anniversary!” Everyone was chatting amongst each other until Annie took her place on the box.

“Everyone! Today we celebrate the 1 year anniversary of peace in the Commonwealth!”

A roar of applause.

She laughed. “I know our version of ‘peace’ may seem odd, but as tenuous as it is, we must celebrate every moment we have of it, which is why 1 year is cause for such a huge celebration!” Applause. “1 year ago today, I made an agreement with every faction, city, and settlement to compromise in all our endeavors. I met with each of the leaders, including the new mayor of Diamond City, Hancock of Goodneighbor, Preston of the Minutemen, Maxson of the Brotherhood, and yes, even the leader of the Institute, with whom we had the most... animosity. But they have agreed to stop the kidnapping, the experiments, and to leave the Commonwealth alone unless it’s to help us. By their terms, we also leave them alone, and help voluntarily with whatever they need should they need it. The Brotherhood has agreed to help, not control, with building up the Commonwealth defense. And the Minutemen are still setting up settlements, now with the help of the Brotherhood. I know there’s still some hatred amongst us, especially for the Institute. But we need to put that hatred aside if we’re ever going to thrive again. Continue to stand with me, with each other, and let’s continue making the Commonwealth a better place.” Hancock handed her a Nuka Cola. “TO THE UNITED COMMONWEALTH!”

“TO THE UNITED COMMONWEALTH!” There was another roar of applause, and everyone happily cheered, danced, cried, and just celebrated.

Hancock helped her down from the box and watched the crowd with her. “Good speech, sunshine. But part of me is kinda worried.”

“About?” She asked as she took a swig of cola.

“About this ‘tenuous peace’ you’ve worked so hard to achieve. I know you’ve got an optimistic way of lookin’ at things, but it probably ain’t gonna last. A year is lucky.”

“I know. That’s why we need to celebrate while we can, before someone disagrees with someone else, and then it’s back to square one.”

“Right. Then it’s the war all over again.”

She chuckled sadly. “Well, if it ever comes to that, it’s like Alec always said...” She took a long drink from her cola and sighed.

“’War never changes.’“

#fallout #fallout 4 #writing #oc #OC-tober

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diablo-that-first-spark · 4 years

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Three Years of Diablo Fanfiction

Hi, everyone!

But… there was a path. And here we are now, 3 years and 55 chapters later. 3 very, very weird years.

My nephew was born in 2018 and he is the cutest kid you can possibly find! I became his godmother too!

I’ve celebrated my 4-year-anniversary with my boyfriend this year. <3

Thank you for reading! And remember, guys.

Everything is going to be alright.

2020.10.16.

#that first spark #diablo #birthday musings #three year anniversary #it1s been one hell of a ride #let's hope it will last for long #thank you everyone!

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osakaso5 · 5 years

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IDOLiSH7 4th Anniversary Special Story: Best Wishes...

Chapter 5: An Ultra Happy Four Years

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Yamato Nikaido: I wonder where everybody went.

Mitsuki Izumi: Maybe we should've just stayed put and waited?

Yamato Nikaido: Yeah, but I bet Riku and Tama are scared. We can't just leave them be.

Nagi Rokuya: Alright! Let us all sing while we look for them!

Nagi Rokuya: Our song will shine a light in the darkness, and bring our comrades to us!

Mitsuki Izumi: You think so?

Yamato Nikaido: But if we sing one of our songs, won't people recognize us?

Nagi Rokuya: OK! We shall sing the song of Cocona! "Magical Power", the ultimate song!

Yamato, Mitsuki, & Nagi: Magical Girl★Cocona, Magical★Cocona I Love You♥Cocona, If You're by My Side We'll Have ∞Power♪

Yamato, Mitsuki, & Nagi: Magical★Cocona, Magical★Cocona, 100 Times the Happiness!! An Invincible Angel♪

Gaku Yaotome & Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Love Love♥Cocona I Love You♥Cocona, If You're by My Side We'll Have ∞Power♪

Mitsuki Izumi: They're here..!

Yamato Nikaido: It really did bring us comrades!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Sorry, sorry! We heard a familiar tune, so we couldn't help singing along!

Gaku Yaotome: Do you guys work around here?

Mitsuki Izumi: Uh... Yeah, pretty much! What about you? I feel like I've heard your voices before...

Gaku Yaotome: I'm a soba delivery guy.

Mitsuki Izumi: A soba guy! You mean the one who always delivers to us?

Nagi Rokuya: OH! Thank you for all your hard work!

Yamato Nikaido: What about the other guy?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Ah, um, I'm the owner of the soba restaurant.

Yamato, Mitsuki, & Nagi: The owner!

Gaku Yaotome: Hey! How come you're higher up than me!?

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: S-sorry, I came up with it on the spot!

Mitsuki Izumi: I thought the owner was a old guy, but I guess they must've replaced him with someone younger.

Yamato Nikaido: This dude's always hard at work.

Nagi Rokuya: YES! Please reward him!

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: O-of course! I'll reward him plenty later! But do I know you from somewhere, too?

Gaku Yaotome: I feel like I've heard your voices before. Especially the guy who who's speaking with a weird accent...

Nagi Rokuya: Is that so?

Gaku Yaotome: Huh!? Maybe I was just imagining things... Sorry for saying you had a weird accent.

Nagi Rokuya: It's quite alright. I don't mind.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Where are you headed?

Yamato Nikaido: We got separated from our friends, so we're looking for them.

Ryunosuke Tsunashi: Same here. Maybe we can search together.

Mitsuki Izumi: Sounds good! We'll all have extra helping hands if there's trouble!

Nagi Rokuya: OK! Just as we did before, we shall hum the song as we search!

Gaku Yaotome: You sure you don't have a weird accent?

Nagi Rokuya: Let's go!

Yamato, Mitsuki, Nagi, Gaku, & Ryunosuke: Magical Girl★Cocona, Magical★Cocona I Love You♥Cocona, If You're by My Side We'll Have ∞Power♪

- - - -

Yuki: Do we have to walk more?

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'm tired of walking just to be polite.

Minami Natsume: If we can reach the staff floor, we should run into other people.

Torao Mido: Oh... Seems like there's benches around here. Should we rest up?

Yuki: Let's. I'm already tired from flying back here from Hokkaido.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Did you bring souvenirs?

Yuki: I guess? Momo bought something.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I hope it's some kinda snacks. Nagicchi likes cookies.

Minami Natsume: These people have no intention of hiding their identities...

Torao Mido: Good thing this blackout happened today. At least it won't cause trouble at the re-opening.

Minami Natsume: It seems the trouble we're in right now is doing nothing to diminish your usual optimism.

Torao Mido: As long as the actual event goes okay. Events like these always come with a hiccup or two. That's how it was in the student council, too.

Minami Natsume: What happened, for example?

Torao Mido: I couldn't go to the event myself, but we were volunteering at a bazaar and one of our reps messed up.

Torao Mido: They came back crying. At times like that, the people who did nothing to help are quick to blame whoever was in charge.

Torao Mido: After that, I stopped being the responsible one. Though Toma seems to like doing that stuff for some reason.

Yuki: I'm not very responsible myself, but people like that are reliable.

Torao Mido: ........

Tamaki Yotsuba: Totally. Though I'm not responsible, either. What did you say to the person who cried?

Torao Mido: "Don't sweat it. I'll take responsibility."

Yuki: So you protected them. You're a pretty nice yanki.

Torao Mido: And I'm telling you that I regret doing that. I don't take on bothersome roles like that anymore.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I bet the person who cried is still thankful for what you did.

Minami Natsume: ...Hopefully this blackout will be fixed soon, and nobody responsible will get in too much trouble.

Minami Natsume: I'm sure whoever was entrusted with the electronics for so many faculties can't have been too irresponsible.

Minami Natsume: I'm sure they wanted to do their job properly, just like everyone else.

Yuki: Right.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I hope they have a successful opening party tomorrow.

Minami Natsume: .......? Can you hear singing?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Totally... It's some kinda weird song...

Yuki: Let's go check it out.

Torao Mido: Yeah.

- - - -

Riku Nanase: We're lucky that strange person didn't follow us, but...

Momo: Now we're really lost. I don't even know which way we came from.

Ryo Tsukumo: Who's responsible for this!? I won't be satisfied until I insult them into having a mental breakdown!

Toma Inumaru: That's not gonna change anything. We're all in trouble here.

Toma Inumaru: Besides, even if we're lost in this darkness, we might find a surprise landmark.

Riku Nanase: A surprise landmark?

Toma Inumaru: Yeah. There was this one time when I got lost and couldn't find the place I had work at.

Toma Inumaru: Someone who was there was giving me instructions through the phone, but we didn't have any ladnmarks to help us with.

Momo: Ah, I get what you mean. This city's roads can get pretty complicated, and a lot of the stores look identical, too.

Riku Nanase: How did you reach the right place?

Toma Inumaru: A whole bunch of colorful balloons flew up into the sky. Maybe they were from a marriage ceremony or something.

Toma Inumaru: Thanks to that, we were able to figure out which way I was supposed to go.

Toma Inumaru: It was a job I really couldn't afford to be late for, so those balloons saved my ass.

Toma Inumaru: If I hadn't looked up to the sky back then, I might not have gotten I am now.

Riku Nanase: That's a very nice coincidence!

Toma Inumaru: I know, right?

Momo: Something like that happened in a movie I saw with Yu... my partner. It was a horror movie, but the ending will totally make you cry.

Momo: The balloons that fly into the sky at the end look nice and solemn, but apparently they were caught on camera completely by accident!

Toma Inumaru: Wow!

Momo: Even my partner, who hates horror, liked that ending.

Riku Nanase: Maybe I should watch it, too. What's the movie called?

Momo: Uh...

Ryo Tsukumo: Shh...

Toma Inumaru: W-what is it?

Ryo Tsukumo: I can hear strange singing...

Momo: ...Singing? Ah... You're right, someone is singing! It sounds kind of familiar, for some reason..?

Toma Inumaru: Seems like there's people that way, so maybe we should go check it out.

Riku Nanase: Yes! Haha... You were right, Mr. Shopkeeper's Brother.

Toma Inumaru: Hm?

Riku Nanase: We found a surprise landmark!

Toma Inumaru: Yeah! That's true.

Riku Nanase: Ah...

- - - -

Riku Nanase: The lights are back on!

Yamato Nikaido: Riku!

Mitsuki Izumi: Riku! Thank goodness! Are you okay?

Nagi Rokuya: We are reunited! I wanted to see you so..!

Riku Nanase: Yamato-san! And Mitsuki and Nagi!

Yamato Nikaido: Where were you?

Riku Nanase: I was with these people... Huh..?

Riku Nanase: ...They ran off somewhere...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Rikkun!

Iori Izumi: Nanase-san!

Sogo Osaka: Riku-kun! Everyone!

Riku Nanase: Ah! Guys! Over here..!

- - - -

Mall Broadcast: ...This is a message to all employees.

Mall Staff: Ah... The speakers are on.

Mall Broadcast: The electrical issues have been resolved. We're sorry for the delay.

Mall Broadcast: Please resume your preparations for the re-opneing.

Mall Staff: Oh, finally.

Mall Staff: Alright, let's get to work!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Thus, Sky Blue Mall overcame its electrical trouble and had its re-opening ceremony.

- - - -

Sky Blue Mall Manager: Well then, it's time for the re-opening of Sky Blue Mall!

- - - -

VR LAND Manager: VR LAND is opening with its new attraction, A Date with IDOLiSH7!

- - - -

Soba Chef Matsuda-san: My second store has been opened successfully. I look forward to your patronage!

- - - -

Anniversary's Owner: Welcome to Café Anniversary.

- - - -

Ryo Tsukumo: A happy four years to you guys, too.

Torao Mido: I'm still not sure what we're supposed to be celebrating...

Haruka Isumi: Who cares? It's all connected.

Torao Mido: What's that supposed to mean?

Haruka Isumi: A sushi chef told me that.

Toma Inumaru: Ryo-san you did make that call yesterday, right?

Ryo Tsukumo: I did. I certainly did. Minami, where did you get that balloon?

Minami Natsume: I got it after participating in the A Date with IDOLiSH7 VR experience. Here you are, Isumi-san.

Haruka Isumi: ...Don't you think balloons are kinda childish?

Minami Natsume: I think they're lovely.

Ryo Tsukumo: If you don't need it, can I pop it?

Haruka Isumi: No! I'll take it.

Torao Mido: A Date with IDOLiSH7, huh. Who'd you pick?

Minami Natsume: It's a secret.

Torao Mido: ........ Yamato Nikaido.

Toma Inumaru: Don't you mean Nagi Rokuya? Mina seems like he'd like his face.

Haruka Isumi: Don't you think he picked Sogo Osaka?

Minami Natsume: It's a secret.

Mall Event Staff: ŹOOĻ, we'll need you on stand by soon!

Mall Event Staff: Also... Happy 4th Anniversary!

ŹOOĻ: .........

ŹOOĻ: Thank you.

The end.

#idolish7 #anniversary story 2019 #translation #i7 #trigger #re:vale #zool #other translations

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