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ynscrazylife · 3 years

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PLEASE MAMA NAT <3

where its just a day in the life of being the adopted daughter of the BLACK WIDOW her picking us up and training us, trying to bonb with us

love your stories ♥️

Being Natasha’s Adopted Daughter Would Include . . .

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/piratanjo

Natasha met you post-Black Widow. She was helping out Yelena with freeing the Widows’ when she came across you.

You were a teen at the time - but still brainwashed. Thankfully because of your age you hadn’t been brainwashed into doing anything too bad yet, but you were almost finished with your training.

Something struck Natasha when she saw you. Looking back on it, she assumes it was the fact that like her and Yelena, you had been put into the Red Room at a young age, and you were the first teen they saw while on these various missions.

While she was okay with fighting the other Widows’, it was hard for Natasha to fight you. At the time, she brushed it off as not wanting to hurt a kid, but she knew that she was taking a liking to you.

Which was why, when Yelena managed to free you, and you told them that you had nowhere to go, Natasha felt the need to do something about it. Unlike the other Widows’ who were adults, you couldn’t go out into the world alone and, after talking with Yelena, Natasha decided to take you along with her.

It wasn’t adoption per say, at least at first, but it was close enough.

You jumped at the opportunity to tag along with Natasha and while Yelena continued the Widows’ mission, Natasha took you back to Melina’s house., where you met Melina and Alexei.

You were wary around them at first, clinging to Natasha, but you warmed up.

However, it wasn’t long before Natasha had to go on the run again. She offered you the chance to stay there with Melina and Alexei but you had grown very close to Natasha and wanted to come with her.

So, you did.

It was difficult, escaping authority and having to constantly be moving, but it in a way it strengthened yours and Natasha’s bond. You guys got closer and learned to work together — as fighting partners as well as mother/daughter.

Which was why, not having known your biological parents or where they were, the word ‘mom’ easily fell off her lips.

It happened when you guys were eating take-out in your latest house. Natasha had passed you the water pitcher and “thanks, mom” just came so naturally.

For a second, you didn’t realize what you had said, until you looked up to see Natasha staring at you with wide eyes.

Then, it hit you. Holy shit my god. Had you just said that?? What just happened?

You got scared that Natasha would react badly, but it was the opposite. A huge grin broke out on her face and even happy tears of pure joy.

When you asked her what was going on, she said: “I’ve never been a mother.”

That’s when you smiled and hugged her and you officially agreed on becoming mother and daughter.

Natasha was worried on being a mother at first, scared that she messed it up, but after reassurance from Melina via a phone call, she fell into the role naturally.

She became much more protective.

Not that you minded.

This went on until the Avengers called upon Natasha to fight Thanos.

She brought you along with her and the team was thoroughly stunned.

“wHO ArE yOU???”

“NATASHAAAA”

Yeah, it was chaotic.

You weren’t fazed though and quickly befriended Wanda and attempted to befriend Vision.

Steve and Sam also became like uncles.

Tony was a bit more difficult because you initially blamed him for you and Natasha on the run, so you were distant at first.

You were also kinda disappointed that Clint wasn’t there. You had wanted to meet him (and Natasha wanted you to meet him) after the stories you heard.

Nonetheless, you went to Wakanda and that’s where you met Bucky. It wasn’t long before he became another uncle.

You absolutely loved fighting alongside Okoye and meeting Shuri. You were fascinated by her technology.

You also kicked ass on the battlefield.

But then . . . You lost.

You watched Bucky disappear and even though you hadn’t known him for nearly as long as Natasha and Steve did, you still felt great pain.

Then you learned to that Sam and Wanda had gotten snapped and it got worse.

The days leading after were some of the most difficult days ever.

It was the first time you had to be strong for your mom, seeing as she had lost her friends too, and you panicked at first.

But you had been her daughter for awhile now and you knew what to do. You hugged Natasha and was there for her.

In the months coming, you helped the reminding heroes rebuild the world and you eventually joined the Avengers under your mother’s lead.

You also met Clint but it wasn’t a happy meeting, really, since he had lost his family.

You continued on as an Avenger with Natasha by your side. You met Carol and she was like an aunt and was amazing.

Things started to turn on the bright side when one day Natasha walked in with a genuine smile and held papers.

You could only guess what they were for at first, but quickly was shown and freaked out (a happy freak out) after.

Adoption papers.

You jumped and yelled and screamed and cheered, unbelievably happy that this was becoming official official.

You were Natasha’s daughter.

While the past few years had been difficult, this made it all worth it. You didn’t know where you’d be without Natasha and she was always with you.

Eventually, the team had a plan to defeat Thanos.

Which felt liked a miracle.

Natasha lives because I say so.

You and her got to tag-team Thanos’ enemies.

Literally the best team since Clint and Nat.

(Clint was jealous)

Then, you got everyone back!

You were SO happy to see Bucky, Sam, and Wanda again, and so was Natasha.

After you all reunited and the world went back to semi-normal, you and Natasha visited Yelena, Alexei, and Melina who were beyond happy to see you both.

Things started to turn up again and you were so grateful to have Nat at your side.

She was the best mom EVER.

Always looking out for you and protecting you

If any of the other Avengers made the slightest of snide comments, she was on them like a bloodhound

She always reminded you to hydrate and was always asking you how you were doing

It was hard to believe that she hadn’t had any experience with children before

Well, she had, with Clint’s kids, but still

Speaking of Clint’s kids, they all looked to you like an older cousin

But getting back to Natasha

She insisted that only she would train with you, not trusting the team to not injure you (besides, she knew you best)

You loved training with Natasha too

She always made it fun, putting on music and stuff

It helped you had similar music tastes

She also would always gush to anyone but really Clint, Sam, or Bucky on how cute and adorable you were

And they definitely agreed

One time during movie night you fell asleep with your head on Nat’s shoulder

She was so happy

Made Bucky take a picture

But she did feel a little bad because you must be tired

So she carried you to your room and put you to bed, kissing you goodnight

You had missed out on a childhood so it was nice for your mom to bring you to bed

All in all Natasha was the best thing to happen to you

Despite it being tough, you were thankful for every second of it

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infernalrevenge · 3 years

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HCs abt an S/O of Lady D's who's struggling to get her daughters' approval? It's rarely addressed in fanfics, but y'all.. becoming a stepparent is a hard and frustrating journey, especially when mama and kids have such tight bonds. Makes small wins feel so rewarding, tho! What are your thoughts on that? How would D react, how would she help? (or make it harder, in true possessive Mother Hen™ fashion..) Which flybaby would warm up to S/O first? How would S/O try to win each of them over, etc..?

Oooh this is a really cool thought! Not that I have a lot of experience with stepparents but yeah, changes and adjustments in family dynamics like that can't be easy. I think I'm gonna have some fun with this.

When the Dimitrescu sisters found out you were the human dating their mother, at first they were mostly indifferent. Not like it's their business as to who Alcina gets it on with anyway (and they could also be thinking you would quickly turn to lunch if you fuck up badly enough, in which case they would gladly join her in the feast.)

They might quip with you sometimes, but for the most part, you're left alone.

But when they realized you were here to stay and might become a parental figure in their life... oh boy.

You're telling them they have to answer to you now? A mere mortal? On what grounds? Just because you have sex with their mom? They think the fuck not.

Hell, they're individually old enough to be your parent, so truly... what the fuck?

(Part of that fear of you joining the family may come from thinking that Alcina now has someone else to preoccupy herself with, so there's less time for them. Perhaps even less love for them. They can't have that. That can't happen.)

As for your partner's reaction? She's kind of torn. On one hand, she understands how her daughters feel about having a new family member suddenly join the dynamic -- someone they barely know relative to each other. You could have been around for a few years, but they've been all together for more than half a century, and they're doing just fine.

On the other, she wants to see you all getting along. She loves you and wants you to be a part of her life, and of course she also loves her daughters with all her heart.

She's not really sure what to do, so she kind of... ends up not doing anything.

But she is curious as to what you'll do about the situation though, since the sisters would hardly make it a secret that your presence is an annoyance at best, completely unwanted and unwelcome at worst.

Bela, surprisingly, might be the hardest to win over. You would think that, as the eldest, she should be the one to lead by example and be the mature one. Plus, she's always looking for her mother's approval, so approving of you may get her on her good side (and yours.)

But she's very opposed to change, especially one that affects her life this much when it's not her choice.

She lets Cassandra and Daniela get away with pulling harmless pranks on you to get under your skin, or make Alcina mad at you. She pretends to not have a direct hand in them and would passive-aggressively remark on whatever they did.

Oh, your clothes were misplaced and looking for new ones made you late to a date with the Lady? "None of them were very nice anyway. This is doing you a favor."

You found dog poop under your bed and now you reek? "I don't smell that much of a difference."

Getting doused in sticky honey and molasses somehow? "At least Mother has a reason to think you're sweet now."

They would never do anything to hurt you, not unless they want to incur their mother's wrath or sadness, just... little things (hopefully enough to get you to leave.)

But luckily, if you're a patient and persistent person, they (ever so) slowly warm up to you in different ways.

The most important thing to remember is that they're different people despite having a lot of things in common, so your manner of approaching them will have to vary for each sister.

Daniela might be the easiest to win over, such a sociable little fly. She might try to be standoffish at first, but if you bring up a book series that she enjoys reading as a topic for conversation, she can and will keep you there for hours talking about the characters, dissecting certain themes, and explaining her theories of the inner machinations of the plot.

If you actually start reading it upon her recommendation, she becomes ecstatic. Finally, someone other than her sisters she can explain these theories to! And someone who can actually relate and add on to them!

Eventually, she'll come to realize that having you around won't mean the end of their family. It just means they're getting more out of it -- a new member to love, and one who loves them.

Cassandra might be a little territorial about her current interests, so you'll have to take on a different approach.

Maybe try introducing her to something that peripherally matches what she likes now. She seems to really like hunting and torture to take her aggression out on, so uh... maybe try martial arts?

It would be more fun if it was something the both of you were new at, so you could bond over attempting to do things together. Nothing says "I want to get to know my stepdaughter better" like letting her throw you to the mat and laugh in excitement when she gets the technique right.

She is still very stubborn though, so she may take a while to fully convince. Even when it seems like you're on her good side, there's a tiny bit of denial. But she'll come around, no matter how reluctant.

Finally, as for Bela, she just needs to see that, though most of her family now genuinely likes you, that it doesn't have to change a thing about how they feel about her either. They're not going to abandon her or anything that drastic just because someone new has entered their lives.

Seeing her sisters approve of you can be jarring, no matter how long or gradual the process may have been. Like, weren't they switching out your shampoos and putting snakes in your closet last year? Why is everyone buddy buddy now? (Why are they leaving her behind?)

She'll start to act bitter toward everyone, feeling like she's been betrayed and shut herself away. She doesn't even want to see her own mother anymore.

But eventually, you have to talk to Alcina to do something too -- she could see you were making an effort, but she's not making it clear to her daughters what exactly was happening. She should be the first to approach Bela regarding the subject, along with her sisters.

You may need some time alone with her as well to drive the point home too. Having more people in the family doesn't mean less love, but in fact it means more, because now you're there to care for her too.

And she has to admit that seeing her mother care for you, having her sisters like you, it didn't really feel like they were any different towards her. They were more insistent in getting her to spend time with you, sure, but other than that... things were mostly the same.

The acceptance may be begrudging at first, but when she actually gets used to this new norm, she'll come around.

If you want to bond with her, you can teach her something. She likes learning new things, and she'll start to warm up to you more if she has reason to keep going to you to get this new information.

It can be anything -- music, arts, sports, cooking, you name it. Even introducing her to new technology will help get on her good side. You'd be surprised at how quickly she gets into it that you start to wonder why it was so hard to get her to like you in the first place.

Also, just talk to her. As a person, as your new daughter, whatever. Just acknowledge her and be honest. She appreciates the little things.

All in all, it's going to be tough. The journey will have its ups and downs, and not everything is going to be smooth sailing. Communication is key, though, as with any sort of relationship. Let the girls know you care for them just as much as you love and care for their mother. In a way, that's all they really want.

But they're not calling you "mom/dad/parental unit". First name basis with a stepparent (affectionate) all the way.

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

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Ohh maybe 1, 2, 3, and 28? 👀

*takes a sip from my can of soda* Ahhh~! Caffeine for the soul~ >:3

But you know what's better for the soul? Questions! Curiosity! RAMBLING ABOUT CHILDREN! >:D Let's GOOOO!

1. What would your Warden generally think of your Hawke and your inquisitor?

Rylen:

Now, I kind of see Elise eventually meeting or at least, reaching out to Rylen after the events in Kirkwall. After all, she’s an Amell, and so is Hawke. They’re literally the only family each other has (that’s not ‘found’ family, that is.). So, I think Elise would reach out through a letter or somehow manage a visit to her cousin and...connect. She would see him as inspiring; Rylen always manages a smile and a quip. However, if they were to spend more and more time interacting with each other, Elise would see that Hawke isn’t very well put together, especially after the Chantry explosion. She would question why Rylen chose the templars, why he executed Anders who was a like a brother to her, but eventually she would come to understand the whys. Elise would see it as no different as when she decided to spare Loghain at the Landsmeet; they did what they believed to be right and what would be best in that very moment. Both Rylen and Elise sacrificed their own happiness for the benefit of others, and were still blamed for future complications and there’s something comforting in a finding another who can relate. :3

Fane:

So, I actually have some later fic ideas for a confrontation between Elise and Fane (after Trespasser, kind of Pre-DA4 shenanas~), and suffice it to say, these two have similar ways of thinking, but their methods are entirely different. Fane is rash, prone to barreling head first into conflict without thinking about those around him. Elise is analytical, always assessing and placing the pieces in her head to make sure everyone comes out alive. This isn’t to say Fane doesn’t care about his comrades; he does. There’s countless, countless times he takes a blow for someone else without batting an eye or thinking that he could die. He just doesn’t plan; he acts. Fane can get lost in the moment of battle, in the heady scent of chaos and blood. Elise, at first meeting him, would see him as any typical warrior; eager for battle and a garden of death. But if they were to sit down and talk...I think she might find him endearing and fascinating. More or less she would think, ‘He’s so mature for someone so young. I mean, he’s twenty-four, but...he speaks as if he’s older. His speech is manicured, measured as if decided upon carefully. And his eyes...there’s pain, a deep, deep pain. Like some of the older Wardens, those just hearing the Calling. But also...hope? Conviction? Who are you, Inquisitor? What has the world done to you?’

2. What would your Hawke generally think of your warden and your Inquisitor?

Elise:

Rylen would probably have the same opinion of Elise as she does with him. They’re family, split apart due the misconceptions and fear, and my Hawke cherishes family. He lost everyone else he could rightly consider family. Fenris, Varric, Sebastian, Isabela, and Merrill are the only people he can call family now. (Anders and Aveline are complicated. I won’t go into that can of worms. For now~ >:3) He would definitely feel a level of guilt for what he had to do in Kirkwall with Anders, with the mages, with...everything, but Rylen just tries to make it through another day. If he and Elise started to interact I think it would be extremely beneficial to Rylen. Elise is patient, sometimes stern, and not afraid to lay all the facts out. Rylen would admire that since he’s had to go through life wearing a mask, a smile, a facade just to placate someone else. He would see Elise as another sister and his opinion of her would probably be along the lines of, ‘I won’t let another member of my family be torn from me. Father, Bethany, Carver...Mother.. I failed them. I won’t fail her. I won’t fail her. She’s bright and she keeps her head held high. Heh, now I see how she killed an Archdemon and lived to tell the tale. ...Bet the lightning has something to do with that, too.’

Fane:

Rylen and Fane, in my head, actually hit it off from the get go. They’ve both had to take mantles of power, even though they never, never wanted to. Though, for different reasons, of course. But Rylen would find Fane inspiring and wholly capable of doing what must be done. He’d be kind of put off that most of his well thought out jokes and pokes would fall flat on Fane, but eventually, Rylen would see why that is. (Draconic nature withstanding.) Also, once my Hawke found out Fane is dragon? OHHHH, BUDDY. There would be yelling and screeching and cries of, ‘WHY DO I KEEP MEETING DRAGONS, FENRIS?! FIRST THE WITCH, NOW THE INQUISITOR?! ..I’m done. I’m putting my daggers down and stealing away into the mountains. Varric, you wanna come with? I know you’re fed up with this shit, too! Don’t lie! DON’T. LIE.’

3. What would your Inquisitor generally think of your warden and your Hawke?

Elise:

Fane would probably think of Elise as...interesting. Not in a bad way. Just...interesting. Fane isn’t comfortable with Wardens after Adamant. He learns that he can hear the corruption inside of them and that terrifies him. And confuses him. And makes him go, ‘What the fuck am I? I don’t even know anymore. Why do I try?’ But, if he were to get over that and, like I said with Elise, talk? He would have another perspective of the men and women that had let fear take them by the throat. It wouldn’t change his feelings regarding the Wardens entirely, but one level mind, one open mind, is enough to make Fane tap into his nature and consider other sides of a very, very large cube.

‘She’s more...quiet than the others. Maybe because it’s just her? No...Loghain was still loud as fuck when it was just him, so why? Ugh, I’m so sick of these puzzles. At least she’s more stable, but I can see the pain in her eyes; green like mine, but missing the gold. Maybe the Taint is stronger than she thinks? Perhaps, but still she fights, still she claws her way towards something that may be impossible. ...Hmph. How typical. A similarity. This world continues to confound.’

Rylen:

Fane respects Rylen after spending some time to feel him out, know his cues, and piece together which is his actual face. Once that happens, Fane can move into respect with my Hawke. These two have a fairly similar moral compass; pragmatism regarding most decisions. Again, they both have been thrust into a position without asking for it, so that would be a stepping stone upon the bonding path. All in all, Fane’s general opinion of Rylen would be, ‘He’s worn that mask of smiles and bright, grey eyes for too long. It’s cracking at the edges, wearing down to mere mortar. Then again, I have my own mask. I’m in no position to judge and condemn, but...it’s worrying. Even the strongest wings can be torn and all that greets is the earth below. I hope your wings don’t falter, Champion. It would be disappointing for the world to lose someone who cares when those who should are content to point the finger towards anyone but themselves.’

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

Fane: The Emprise du Lion! Snowwwww! Coooold! Ice dragooooon! >:3 ...minus the red lyrium. *snorts*

Origins: Hmm, I think Fane would like the Brecilian Forest. He enjoys forests as much as he enjoys the cold, the ice, and the snow. He likes the animals, even though he tries not to interfere with them, and he likes the quiet. No chattering, no demands. Only trees, leaves, and the occasional whistle of wind. Also, Fane likes to investigate ancient ruins. He’s not interested in the history, really. He just wants to see if he can find any remnants about his kin that the elves may have left behind. :3

DA2: Probably Sundermount since again, wilderness. Fane doesn’t do too well in crowded areas and Kirkwall would make his heart rate sky rocket. Not just because of the people, but because of the size. Those cramped streets of Lowtown would just make him...eugh. *shivers*

Elise: She adores Orzammar! Especially the Shaperate! The dwarves fascinate Elise since not many tomes in the Circle went into depth about them! :D And if we want to with Awakening areas, I would saaaay...Amaranthine. She’s always like towns and cities due to not being able to experience them until the Blight! :3

Inquisition: Elise would adore the Frostback Basin. Like, really enjoy it! All that flora and Avaar culture and wilderness? MMMM!

DA2: Definitely the Wounded Coast. Hands down. My daughter enjoys the sea so much. The salt in the air, the feel of sand, and the pretty, pretty shells and rolling waves? Every Circle mages’ wet dream. *waggles eyebrows*

Rylen: So, if we’re not talking like open world areas in the game, I would definitely say Rylen’s favorite place is the Hanged Man. The man needs a drink to deal with Kirkwall. Just saying. It’s also where he can just...be himself with the people who know him.

Inquisition: Hinterlands. He’s a FERELDAN. He wants his MABARI to RUN in native land! He wants to...go home. ;3;

Origins: I like to think the Hawke family went all over Ferelden before settling in Lothering. I mean, they kind of do, but maybe for more than a few months at a time? So, Rylen would enjoy Denerim. He likes to go where people are, where life is. He likes crowds because he can blend into them and not be tracked down until he wants to be tracked down. ...My Hawke just wants to live in peace with his glowy elf husband and run a mabari ranch. Is that too much to ask, Bioware?! Let Hawke REST!

Woo! That was FUN! It really got me thinking, too! X3 Thank you so much, friend! <3

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queen-scribbles · 3 years

Text

Kaira

I figured Father’s Day would be a good day to let Tel unleashed his Dad Energy, so have the fic where he finally gets to meet Kaira. :D

---

Tel’s glance at the wall chrono showed the same exact time as the last three checks and he dropped onto the couch with a loud, disgruntled huff. His knee started bouncing the second he braced his feet against the low table and he let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

Elara’s face filled his view, upside down, as she leaned over. “Soon, love.”

“Soon isn’t soon enough,” Tel grumbled. He cracked his knuckles and his knee bounced faster.

“I know.” She kissed his forehead, a faint smile curing her lips when she pulled back. “This is about the state I thought you’d be in today,” she said softly, and kissed his nose.

“I see what you’re doing, Els,” Tel murmured, reaching up to rub her arm with one hand.

“Mm, do you?”

He smiled at the mischief in her voice. “You’re tryin’ to distract me by bein’ all... you.”

Elara laughed softly. “Only temporarily. So you don’t go stir-crazy.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Is it working?”

“Sort of.” His hand slid up to cup the back of her neck and he craned upward for a more serious kiss. “You know I love you, sweetheart, but I’m also really lookin’ forward to meeting her.”

Elara’s smile widened. “Understandable.” She kissed his forehead again, then circled the couch to sit next to him. “I’m glad you’re so looking forward to it, dearest. According to Aleksei, Kaira’s been bouncing off the walls and counting down days since we made arrangements.”

“Sounds about right,” Tel said with a chuckle. “She is my daughter, which means enthusiasm is in her blood. And she’s yours, which means orderliness is, as well.”

She laughed and rubbed his arm. “Only time will tell which she gravitates toward more.”

He was just opening his mouth to reply when his comm beeped, followed shortly by the fuzzy blue holo of Hylo grinning ear to ear. “Shuttle on approach, Commander. Thought you’d want to know.”

“You thought right,” Tel said, already pushing off the couch. “Thanks, we’ll be right there.” He closed the connection and offered Elara a hand up. “They’re early.”

She smiled. “You’re complaining?”

Tel grinned and started tugging her toward the door. “Hell, no.”

---

Tel, with Elara close behind him, made it down to the hanger bay before the shuttle even docked. It took everything in him to keep from bouncing like an impatient child as he watched the small craft ease into the hanger with a near-perfect landing. Elara interlaced her fingers with his and he held tight.

The shuttle’s small size meant it held no more than four or five passengers, so at least it wouldn’t be a long wait for the anticipated parties--

The door was barely open when a short, dark-haired figure came streaking down the ramp and darted across the tarmac. She skidded to a halt in front of Tel and surveyed him with eager curiosity. (An inspection that mattered more to him than any drill instructor or CO’s ever had.)

“You’re my dad?” she asked, shoving hair out of her eyes, back toward her slipping-loose ponytail.

Tel went to one knee, putting them almost eye-level(she was tall for her age). “That’s me-”

Kaira barely let him get the words out before she flung her arms around his neck in a ferociously tight hug driven by so much enthusiasm it almost knocked him over. Her complete lack of hesitation made his heart swell and he tried in vain to swallow the lump in his throat as he hugged her back.

“Mom’s told me all about you,” she said, pulling back just enough to grin at him, displaying the gaps from three lost baby teeth.

“There’s a scary thought,” Tel joked, voice rough, and shot Elara a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and lightly bopped the back of his head. “I promise I painted you in a flattering light, dearest. Hence her excitement.”

“Good point,” Tel relented, and Elara smiled.

“Now” --she turned to Kaira, arms held out-- “do I get one of those hugs as well, darling?”

“Oh. Yeah!” Kaira released her grip on Tel and pivoted to wrap an almost as enthusiastic hug around her mother’s waist. “Missed you, Mom.”

Tel pushed to his feet and turned to the other figure, who had followed Kaira down the ramp and been watching the meeting/reunion with a quiet smile. “Aleksei, good to see you.”

“You as well.” Aleksei grasped the hand Tel held out to shake, his smile turning wry as he nodded at their joined hands. “And with no barriers this time.”

Tel laughed as they released the handshake. “Yeah, Elara told me you managed to earn the brass’ trust.” The scarring Elara had mentioned was obvious as well; up the right side of Aleksei’s neck and climbing over his jaw to stop just shy of his cheekbone, a small divot in his eyebrow, permanently red and rough skin on the back of his hand.

Aleksei chuckled. “Yes, though I do wish it had taken slightly less than getting myself blown up to do so.”

Tel snorted. “Word of warning; they only give you medals for the first couple times you do that. Then it’s more likely they’ll grouse about your medical expenses than commend your braver-- Ow!” He laughed and rubbed his arm where Elara had whacked him.

“Don’t be encouraging my brother to follow in your footsteps, dearest,” she admonished, fighting a smile. “Worrying about one of you is quite enough.”

“I was warning him not to, Els,” Tel protested.

“And he made a very compelling case,” Aleksei chipped in.

“Thank you.” Tel gave his arm another exaggerated rub. “Now, can I spend some more time with Kaira without being assaulted, please?”

“Oh, very well,” Elara said with feigned reluctance, letting her arm slip from Kaira’s shoulders. “I’m certain Aleksei and I will find something to discuss. You two have fun, and don’t cause trouble.”

“I wasn’t gonna,” Kaira protested, looking offended at the warning.

“I was talking to your father,” Elara said, smiling as she shot Tel a meaningful look.

“Oh, fine,” he sighed, grinning. “I’ll have to come up with a different father-daughter bonding activity.”

Elara rolled her eyes and laughed, then moved to talk to her brother.

“Do you like causin’ trouble?” Kaira asked as they headed through the base toward the elevator.

“Yeah,” Tel admitted with a laugh, examining the narrow braid around her ponytail. It currently appeared to be the only thing holding it in place. “But it has to be the right kind of trouble, in the right place, to be the most fun. We’ll manage some while you’re here, but for now let’s listen to Mom, huh?”

“Okay.” Kaira nodded, furthering the precarious state of her ponytail. “Mom’s smart.”

“Very,” Tel agreed, grinning.

“Can you tell me stories about her?” Kaira asked as they rode the elevator up to the base entrance. “Mom’s told me a lot about you, but not really about her.”

Of course not, that would be bragging, he thought glibly. “Sure thing, kiddo. One condition: for every story about your mom being awesome, I wanna learn somethin’ about you back. It can be somethin’ little,” he clarified when her nose scrunched. “Like your favorite color or ice cream flavor, or stuff you like to do with your best friend, that kinda thing. Deal?”

“Deal,” Kaira said with a grin wide enough to show off her missing teeth again as they shook on it.

---

They made their way to one of the wide expanses of field and forest that surrounded the base, and spent the next hour or two talking while they looked at the clouds, caught bugs, and (occasionally) climbed things.

Tel told Kaira as many stories about Elara as he could recall(a lot) and was gratified to learn she found her mother every bit as amazing as he did. (”Even when she makes you eat your vegetables?” “I like vegetables. ‘Cept peas. Peas are gross.” “K, I don’t think there’s a kid in the galaxy who likes peas right off the bat.”)

He learned in return that Kaira’s favorite color was purple--and red, she liked them both--she liked Corellian puff-pastries so much she’d once eaten a whole batch and given herself a tummy-ache, her favorite thing was to play spaceships with her friend Elodie, she thought explosions were cool, and she really, really wanted a pet nexu even though Mom said they were too dangerous.

“Well, I dunno bout a nexu, ‘cause I think your mom has a point there,” Tel said with a laugh, swishing a hand through the tall grass around them, “but we can see about a pet.”

Kaira’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.” If they had a bit longer til her birthday, he might’ve set that as the deadline, but Elara would--rightly--strangle him for promising something with only three days to discuss it. “I’ll have to talk to your mom, and it’ll sort of depend whether it lives here or on Coruscant with you...”

Her shoulders noticeably drooped. “Okay.”

Even with his limited childcare experience, Tel knew dejection when he saw it. And he had a pretty good guess as to the cause. “What?”

Kaira shrugged, staring at the ground as she yanked up a clump of grass and let the breeze carry it out of her hand. “Nothin’.”

“Kaira.”

She looked up at him with huge, sad brown eyes he didn’t think he’d have the heart to refuse if she asked him for anything. “I just... I thought I was gonna live here now. With you an’ Mom. “

“Ah.” Tel wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug. “Sweetheart, I would love nothing more than to have you and your mom here every day. But that’s another thing we have to talk about, ‘cause this is a military base. So if someone gets p- mad at me, or the Alliance, they might attack. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Coruscant got hurt,” she muttered, dragging her boot heel through the dirt in a clumsy line. “A whole bunch.”

Tel laughed and rubbed her arm. “That is a very good point, sweetheart. Like I said, we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“...Okay.” She snuggled closer. “But I still wanna live with you. Even if Uncle Lesky’s really cool.”

“Noted,” Tel smiled and ruffled her hair. The ponytail had fallen out five minutes into their adventure and he hadn’t bothered to help her redo it.

They sat for a moment in silence, then Kaira pulled away and sat back on her knees. “Dad?”

That damn lump was back(and would be, he suspected, every time she called him that for the foreseeable future). “Yeah, K?”

She cocked her head, frowning slightly as she studied his face. “What happ’ned to your eye?”

He snorted a laugh and reached up to tap the cybernetic patch. “Oh, I got that a long time ago, sweetheart. Back when I first became a soldier, before I even met your mom-”

“‘Cause she’d’a fixed it?”

Tel laughed even louder and hugged her again. He wondered if Elara’s ears were burning wherever she and Aleksei were. Best damn medic in the galaxy. “I’ll bet she could’ve. Anyway, me and my squad were scouting, and we stumbled on a group of bad guys we didn’t think would be there. I put myself between my squad and the incoming fire, part of that incoming fire was a rocket, and ” --he gestured at the eyepatch, the implant that curved around it, and the general scarring on the left side of his face. (He didn’t mention all the shrapnel they’d had to pull from his chest, stomach, arm; she was six and the kolto had healed all that with nary a scar.)

“Wow.” Kaira leaned closer and ran her fingers over the cybernetics that curved around his eye socket. “Does it still hurt?”

“No. Hasn’t for a long time,” he assured her, then grinned. “Now it just looks cool. Though it does mean I can’t really wink.”

She giggled and sat back next to him. “But winking’s fun.”

“That it is. You’ll just hafta do it for me.”

Another giggle. “Okay.” She wiggled closer, resting her head on his shoulder as they looked out over Odessen’s forests. “’M glad I finally got to meet you, Dad.”

His grin widened until his face hurt, even as emotion prickled in his good eye. “Me, too, sweetheart. You’re pretty awesome.”

Kaira tipped her head back to smile at him. “So’re you.”

Those two words were worth more than every commendation he’d ever won combined. “Thanks, K. “ He kissed her forehead, tucked wayward black hair behind her ears. “Think we should head back? Find Mom and Uncle Aleksei?”

“Yeah, prob’ly a good idea,” Kaira agreed, though she sounded more than a tad reluctant.

“We can keep hanging out,” Tel promised. “We’ll just be addin’ them to the fun.”

She smiled brightly and jumped to her feet. “Okay.”

Tel matched the smile, pleased both that he’d guessed what bothered her about the suggestion and that she wanted to spend more time with him. “Alright, let’s go.”

They’d only been walking a few minutes when Kaira gave a dramatic groan. “It’s so farrrrr.”

“Yeah, we did cover a lot of ground.” Tel had not been paying attention to the distance they’d ranged and did have to admit, for a six year old, it would be a long trek back.”Want a lift?”

Her face screwed into a pout. “M notta baby, Dad.”

“Not what I meant,” he laughed, and crouched down on one knee. “Piggyback?”

The pout disappeared into an eye-crinkling grin. “YES!” Kaira bellowed as she scrambled to wrap her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. She was lighter than she looked with her height, but still plenty strong enough to strangle him.

“Easy, kiddo,” Tel laughed, tugging her wrist so she’d loosen her grip. “I’ll hold you up, don’t be tryin’ to kill me.”

“Sorry.” Kaira shifted to instead hold fistfuls of his shirt. “Go, go, go!”

They were both laughing as they set out for the Alliance base, where Elara greeted them each with a kiss on the cheek before helping Kaira down so they could go get lunch.

As a family.

#queens fic #telcontar airen #elara dorne #telara #kaira airen #aleksei dorne #*aggressively includes the dorne sibling content bioware won't give me*

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mythgirlimagines · 3 years

Photo

For today’s Tuesday, prepare to get heatstroke from the sheer hotness of Myth, the Former Ultimate Firefighter!

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BACKSTORY AND TALENT

Due to being bedridden with scoliosis in her younger years, Myth didn’t really do much apart from reading. Until one day, a brave firefighter saved Myth’s life from a dangerous house fire that still left burns on Myth’s left eye and arm. From that day forward, after her scoliosis surgery, she has dedicated her life to training hard to become like the firefighter that saved her life that fateful day. By her teen years, she managed to rise through the rankings and become a professional firefighter for her town. Her rapid rising through the ranks despite her age, gender and height gave her a free spot to Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Firefighter. In her adult years, she is currently chaperoning this year’s Ultimates and Jr. Ultimates on a trip to Kibo-Con Ultimate!

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RELATIONSHIPS

Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Film Critic

Wyre has been best friends ever since she moved in next door to Myth and entertained her with some high-ranking movies. However, due to the time-consuming training Myth went through from her time as a firefighter trainee, they’ve been seeing each other less and less. And now, Wyre can’t help but swoon over the utter hunk that her childhood friend had become now.

Anon Scar, Ultimate Sailor

Scar, or as she calls herself, ”The Spirit of the Seven Seas”, gets along surprisingly well with ”The Spirit of the Quenched Flames”, as Scar puts it. This is probably due to their shared experience with tense situations, whether surrounded with raging water or raging flames. If either of them had a nightmare about certain traumatic incidents from the past, they’ll talk about the nightmare and reassure each other.

Fusion Anon, Ultimate Fantasy Novelist

Fusion became famous for writing “The Saga of Spritefolk”, a literary series famous for its lovable menagerie of characters and extensive lore and worldbuilding. Myth happens to be a huge fan of said series, and Myth was on cloud nine when she got an autograph from the novelist. The two also bond over their shared interest in mythology.

Fusion Anon II, Ultimate Cheerleader

Fusion II is well-known for leading a 50-person oendan group, complete with taiko drums and complex acrobatics. The oendan is known for praising the hometeam, and throwing shade towards the competition. Fusion II herself is actually more laid-back then what her talent suggests, although she is just as snarky as her cheers would suggest. Fusion II would never admit this, for she has a reputation to keep up, but she thinks Myth would be a fine addition to her group.

Just Anon, Ultimate Pediatric Nurse

Janon is worshipped throughout the medical world as a prodigy in the medical field. Due to Janon’s natural intellect letting him breeze through tests without any actual effort, Janon has a terrible work ethic and a lazy and apathetic attitude. Janon also happens to be Myth’s favorite teasing target, for his not-so-secret soft spot for children, his failed attempts at being edgy despite his innocuous talent and adorable appearance, and his massive crush on a certain dense barista. This has lead Janon to utterly despise Myth.

Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Ballroom Dancer

Being raised in a high-class family well-known for their bombastic and over-the-top dance parties, Sparkle is known to be able to charm anyone on the dance floor, whether male or female. And yet even she can’t help but get yearn to get swept off her feet by this strong yet dorky firefighter. Sparkle is currently trying to teach the firefighter the ways of her bloodline, but The Spectacular Sparkle gets way too flustered over Myth’s strong arms, and winds up botching the dance, much to Myth‘s confusion.

Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Lucky Student and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Librarian

Very little is known about this cursed duo, for they hardly do anything apart from spouting unnerving comments and remaining evasive about their past. At least Myth kind of got along with Wet Sock, due to their shared interest in reading, but Wet Sock is even more hostile towards Myth due to their growing feelings for the firefighter, usually threatening her with knives. Egg seems to be the only Former Ultimate to not have feelings for Myth, but due to the regular cursed comments and cursed actions made by the Former Lucky Student, people are too afraid to ask.

Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Barista

Myth regularly visits Curious for her daily cup of joe at their cafe, “Simply Splendid”. Myth can get along easily with Curious due to their tranquil, empathetic attitude and excellent service and ambience of the coffee shop that they work at. Myth couldn’t help but poke fun at Curious for their sheer density when it comes to Janon’s feelings towards them. Talk about calling the kettle black!

Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Matchmaker

Despite Nerd’s knowledge on romantic relationships, to the point that he made the most reliable matchmaking website in the modern world by himself, it is very clear that Nerd’s never been in a relationship himself. But even the blind and deaf can see that Nerd is crushing bad on the dense firefighter, despite Nerd’s angry protests to the contrary. Too bad Myth has a density only matched by Curious. But the other Anons are deadset on getting both the tsundere matchmaker and the oblivious firefighter to realize their feelings for each other.

Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Occultist

Because of Eldritch’s paranoid attitude and his evasiveness of the public eye, very little is known about Eldritch or how he got into the occult. Myth can’t help but find it odd that such a jittery scaredy-cat has one of the more horrific talents. Much to Myth’s confusion, Eldritch seems to be convinced that Myth is an evil spirit and regularly tries to remedy that by tossing salt at Myth.

Dream Anon, Ultimate Viral Sensation

Dream, or as her fans call her “Sunny D”, is the creator of the “Vowolleyball“ web series, which centers around the antics Dream and her volleyball team. Her hyperactive and positive attitude has earned her a special spot in the heart of her fanbase. Dream gave Myth a shout-out in one of her videos centering around her time at the Kibo-Con, which gave way to a flood of thumbs-up and fangirling comments from the firefighter’s own fanbase.

Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Babysitter

Iris’s optimistic, hyperactive, and childish personality has made her a big hit with the little kids of her neighborhood. Her babysitting business earned a lot of money as a result of her popularity with children. But sometimes, even the babysitter needs a babysitter of their own. And that exactly what Myth’s relationship with Iris is like. Myth and Iris have a bit of a mother-daughter relationship and Iris regularly winds up going to Myth in case she needs advice, her boo-boos patched up, or if she just needs a hug from a pair of strong arms.

Purple Anon, Ultimate Samurai

Myth can’t help but be surprised that samurai not only still exist, but one is attending Hope’s Peak right now. Myth can’t help but want to protect the crowned heiress of the Murasaki bloodline, upon noticing how timid said heiress is when outside of a combat scenario. Purple’s elaborate and old-fashioned vocabulary as a result of her upbringing, just confuses Myth, so she often requires Fusion to translate Purple’s speech into modern slang.

So basically, this AU is a harem series about an adorable and buff, if dense firefighter, and her four/five waifus/husbandos/whatever the NB term for a waifu is.

————————————————-——

APPEARANCE

Firefighter!Myth has shoulder-length undyed hair and burn scars on her left eye and arm. She wears an orange and black firefighter’s uniform that is undone at the waist, hanging at the back of her legs. Under her uniform, she wears a black tank top and a scarf that resembles a film reel (that she got as a token of friendship from Wyre). She also wears black boots with a white stripe running though the center and white soles. The arm bands on her muscular arms match the color scheme of her uniform, being orange with black stripes.

——————————————————

PERSONALITY

Because of Firefighter!Myth’s line of work, Firefighter!Myth is courageous and bold, always jumping into danger in order to save lives. That, along with her androgynous appearance, has earned her comparisons to a dashing prince. This has given her a passionate fan base amongst her neighborhood. Despite the confident and cool-headed personality of Firefighter!Myth, she isn’t as socially-skilled as one would expect. Because of her isolated and bed-ridden background, Firefighter!Myth is more socially-awkward and naive compared to Romantic!Myth, particularly when it comes to people with romantic intentions. When it comes to dating or noticing when people are attracted to her, she is completely and utterly clueless, much to the ire of Librarian!Wet Sock and Matchmaker!Nerd. She isn’t stupid though, for she still retains a love for literature and film from her younger years. Although hopefully, her time at the Kibo-Con would help her wise up to romantic intentions, but only time will tell.

——————————————————

I’ve took some inspiration from Fusion II’s talentswap, and added some backstory to the relationships section. I’ve partially based this Myth off of a Nozoeli fanfiction called “Best Star She’d Ever Had”, link to the fic here: (https://archiveofourown.org/works/5095454)

What do you think of this buff, yet dense Myth? Let me know what you think of this Talentswap!

-Fusion Anon

—

I think I speak for everyone who knows me when I say buff me is inherently cursed, that said I love this

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

Note

More family outing scenes 🥺🥺🥺 going to the beach, picnics, camping and stuff :D

Oh my gosh, ok listen; growing up, Daniel and his family went hiking and camping and canoeing a lot…I mean what do you expect when you live in Vancouver? It’s like living inside a postcard photo. So it’s no doubt that when his own kids are grown up just enough to enjoy it, he wants to take them camping too. But the Seavey daughters were nothing like he and his siblings were and they only ever tried camping once since it went so horribly...

Daniel had a week off work in the summer and they packed up the car with camping supplies, stocked coolers, and plentiful bug spray and sunscreen and headed up north. Daniel was thoroughly excited for that week and he was absolutely radiating excitement, filling the drive with stories of when he would go camping with his family as a kid. Florence was raised in a household that never did any sort of family bonding activities so she had never been camping before either, a bit hesitant to sleep outside but Daniel’s thrill was certainly rubbing off on her on the drive up.

They arrived at the park an hour and a half later and Daniel parked and headed into the gatehouse to check in and pay. The girls in the backseat were staring out into the surrounding forest silently and Florence glanced back at them, “How are we feeling?”

“Fine.” Penelope answered quietly.

“It’s gonna take some getting used to, I’m sure, but we’re gonna be excited for Daddy, okay?” Florence whispered.

The girls nodded.

“I’m actually excited so I don’t need to pretend.” Clementine retorted.

“That’s very good.” Florence chuckled, turning back around as Daniel got back in the car. He drove them through the park over gravel roads to their campsite which was literally a clearing of grass with a firepit and a picnic table surrounded by trees.

“Okay, let’s set up!” Daniel jumped out of the car and pulled open the trunk. The girls climbed out carefully, hesitantly, and started to look around their area.

“Stay close, okay, girls?” Florence told them before starting to help Daniel unpack the car.

“Where’s the hotel?” Lucy asked softly, standing to the side of the car as she watched her parents stack the coolers and things on the grass.

“We’re sleeping outside! That’s what camping is.” Daniel said.

“Yeah! Outside with all the bears.” Clementine grabbed her youngest sister’s shoulders, making her scream.

“There aren’t any bears.” Florence assured her. She turned to Daniel, dropping her voice, “There aren’t any bears, are there?”

“Sometimes.” Daniel answered.

“Oh my God, Dani.” Florence gaped softly.

“Relax, we’re not gonna be eaten by a bear.” Daniel chuckled, carrying the folded up tent farther down the clearing and set it down on the grass. Clementine rushed right over to help him and he showed her how to pitch the tent and soon it was standing solid and the girls climbed right in to check in out.

“Shoes off in our house, little ladies.” Daniel said, watching three pairs of running shoes get kicked back out onto the grass. He smiled as they talked excitedly and laughed together inside the tent, exploring every little corner.

Florence had finished unloading the car and was setting up their things around the picnic table and he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Florence giggled, leaning back against him as if waiting for a kiss but she pulled off his hat and placed it on her own head before pushing him off to continue working. “When do we want to start dinner?”

“5:00 sounds fine. We can explore a little bit first.” Daniel suggested, checking his watch quickly.

“Daddy! I have to pee!” Clementine shouted across the campsite and she came running, nearly tripping over her shoes as she tried to put them back on. “I had that huge slushie in the car and I really have to pee. Where are the bathrooms?”

“On it! I got the map. Let’s go, ladies.” Daniel herded all the children up and all five of them headed down the path towards the bathrooms. Florence was a little hesitant just leaving all their things out in the open but he assured her it was fine and pulled her along. Nearly two minutes later and Clementine was already getting impatient.

“Dad. I’m going to pee my pants!” she groaned, holding onto his arm so he could pull her along.

“Almost there.” Daniel took them across one more pathway and they were face to face with a row of outhouses. All four girls stopped dead. Daniel turned back, “What?”

“What the hell is this?” Florence frowned distastefully.

“The experience.” Daniel said, pulling Clementine after him.

“Nuh uh.” Clementine pried his hand off of her arm. “I don’t have to pee anymore. I don’t have to pee ever again.”

“Oh, come on.” Daniel said, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not a portal to hell, it’s a bathroom.”

“It’s smells yucky.” Penelope frowned, hiding being Florence.

Daniel sighed, pressing a hand to the bridge of his nose, “We’ve been here thirty minutes and you guys are already complaining. It’s not a big deal, okay? It’s just a hole in the ground.”

“Ugh!” the girls groaned.

“We’re here for a week you can’t just not got to the bathroom.” Daniel challenged.

The girls stared blankly back at him.

“Flora.” Daniel pouted, desperate for some sort of back up. She sighed, looking down at her frightened daughters and then back up to her husband.

“Fine. To prove I won’t get sucked to the depths of hell, I’ll give it a go.” Florence grumbled.

“No, Mommy!” Lucy shrieked, clinging onto her leg.

It took way too long to convince the girls to finally give the outhouse a try that by the time they had all gone, it was dinner time and Daniel was already exhausted. The trek back to the campsite was sort of an awkward one.

“There weren’t any campsites with plumbing?” Florence asked lightheartedly as she linked her arm in his.

“The experience.” Daniel pouted, resting his head against hers as they walked.

“At least the fire and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows will be a fun experience after whatever that was.” Florence sighed.

“It’s fine. Just one hiccup.” Daniel shrugged, leaning in to kiss her once as they made it back to the site. The sun had started to set and the girls got their chairs around the firepit as Daniel bent down to start the fire…by hand.

Florence gathered their food supplies too cook dinner and set them in her own chair as she watched Daniel crouched by the pile of wood and kindling trying to start a spark. The girls glanced at their mother after a moment.

“Sweetheart,” Florence set her hand on Daniel’s shoulder, “Why don’t you use the lighter?”

“No, no. I can do this. My dad taught us when we were younger.” Daniel assured her, turning back to his work. A few minutes passed.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Lucy whined.

“Dammit.” Daniel sighed, pushing his arm across his forehead tiredly, staring down at the lack of fire in front of him.

“You can be a boy scout later, right now we have to feed our children.” Florence said, clicking on the lighter and resting the flame against the kindling. Mere seconds later, there was a good fire going and Daniel was sat on the grass pouting. Florence pulled his head back to kiss him upside down and gave his cheek a quick pat before handing out the metal sticks to the girls.

“Can we have spaghetti?” Penelope asked.

“We can’t have spaghetti, Penny. We can only eat what we packed.” Florence said. “We’re having hot dogs tonight.”

“Aw.” she frowned as her mother stuck the uncooked hot dog on the end of her stick.

“Can we order McDonalds?” Lucy asked.

“No, we can’t order McDonalds, princess. It doesn’t work like that.” Daniel cracked a small smile as he got himself a stick to make his own dinner.

“Why not?”

“Because McDonalds doesn’t deliver outside.”

“Then we can go inside.” Lucy said matter-of-factly.

“I think I burnt it.” Clementine broke the gradually annoying conversation of the six-year-old as she held up her stick with a charred black hot dog on the end.

“Let’s get you a new one.” Daniel chuckled, passing her over a fresh one.

The parents helped the girls roast their hot dogs and stick them safely in buns to eat. When dinner was over, Florence brought over the marshmallows and passed some down the line to make smores. Daniel stuck with Lucy to make sure she didn’t burn her dessert since she was only six; it was a cute sight with her sitting on his lap with both of them holding the metal stick towards the fire, matching concentrated faces making Florence smile and snap a picture.

It was finally peaceful and Daniel was back to feeling that family love and excitement he had when they first arrived, surrounded by his sweet daughters and beautiful wife. They shared little stories around the fire before bed and then got into pyjamas in turns in the privacy of the tent. The girls were tucked into their sleeping bags on the tarp floor of the tent and Florence got herself into her own sleeping bag on the double air mattress they brought for themselves. Daniel said the parents always got better sleeping arrangements…part of that experience. Of course, Penelope was ready to challenge that statement with her annoyed shifting and uncomfortable whines against the ground.

“I can’t get comfortable!” she cried, finally flopping on her back to shoot a pout in the direction of her father who had yet to even try to get into bed.

“Just…don’t think about it as sleeping on the ground. Think of it like sleeping on a really lumpy mattress.” Daniel suggested.

“Daddy’s punishing us.” Lucy grumbled from behind him from her spot beside Clementine.

“What?” Daniel gaped down at her. “I am not!”

“Why do you get the air mattress?” Clementine protested.

“I don’t like this!” Penelope whined louder from the other side of the tent, kicking herself out of her sleeping bag. “It feels weird on my feet!”

“It hurts!” Lucy groaned.

Florence simply glanced up at her husband who was in clear distress as his three children complained; one about the unfairness of the sleeping arrangements, one about the feeling of the sleeping bag, and one about the lumpiness of the ground, and he sighed loudly.

“Fine.” Daniel said, throwing his hands up. “Nell, get up here with the normal blankets we have. Give your sleeping bag to Lucy so she can lay on it like a mattress. Clem, just…relax, okay?”

The girls huffed with annoyance but didn’t put up any more of a fight as Daniel helped them re-settle and got into bed himself, Penelope tucked up between him and Florence. The family shared their ‘goodnights’ and tried to sleep. The girls were already pretty exhausted so they thankfully fell asleep easily, even Florence, but once Penelope was asleep she turned into a full on starfish and Daniel ended up with a hand in his face and a foot uncomfortably close to between his legs and once she moved and actually decked him in the nose, Daniel was getting up. He grabbed one of the blankets, making sure the others were tucked around the ten-year-old and then he was left to sleep on the tarp floor with a single fleece blanket.

It was no doubt that by morning no one was well rested, especially Daniel, but he was the first one awake and struggled off the ground before heading out to make breakfast. He had poured the bowls of cereal at the picnic table by the time the girls were awake and the family gathered quietly around the table.

“How long have you been up?” Florence asked softly, leaning down to kiss her husband before taking a seat beside him.

“All night pretty much.” Daniel answered flatly, but still sent a small smile to his daughters as they thanked him for breakfast. He lowered his voice again to speak with his concerned wife, “I slept on the bare ground because Penelope turned into a starfish and punched me in the face.”

“Oh.” Florence couldn’t hold back her giggle, leaning her head against his. “I’m sorry.”

The family ate their cereal together and then got dressed for the day with a quick stop to the bathroom before heading for the beach. Canoe rentals were open and Daniel jumped at the opportunity to try one out. Florence stayed on the beach with Penelope while Daniel took Clementine and Lucy out on the lake first, the oldest absolute thrilled about the idea of rowing a whole boat on the lake. Lucy wasn’t terribly thrilled, sitting on the floor of the canoe as Daniel pushed them off the sand and into the water before hoping in with them.

Honestly, God bless Clementine for being the more sane and tolerable out of the daughters as she was incredibly invested in the rowing and was eager to point out all the little things she saw around the lake as they went on. Lucy was frowning, her lifejacket pushed up to her chin with how she sat and she wanted nothing more than to go back to the beach to play in the sand.

Daniel was too busy with Clementine to notice his youngest pouting but he certainly noticed when she shrieked and jumped up, screaming at the top of her lungs, “A bug bit me!”

“Lucy! Sit down, Princess!” Daniel tried to grab onto her as she flailed her arm around.

“I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die! It hurts!” Lucy scratched desperately at her arm, the canoe rocking a bit too much in her panic.

“You’re not gonna die! Sit down!” Daniel assured her desperately.

“Lucy!” Clementine shrieked, holding onto the side of the boat as it swayed.

“It hurts! It hurts! Make it stop!” Lucy cried, jumping a little in her dramatic desperation, too preoccupied to even notice that they were still in the middle of a lake. She lost her balance and flipped backwards over the side of the canoe right into the water. Clementine screamed in fear that her sister just died and Daniel swore loudly before jumping in after her. Lucy broke the surface absolutely silent with shock and Daniel grabbed her quickly and held her close.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” Daniel whispered more to himself than anyone as Lucy clung onto him in the water.

“I wanna go home!” Lucy sobbed, her arms around his neck and tears pouring down her cheeks with the lake water.

“Me too.” Clementine grumbled from still inside the canoe.

Daniel sighed and helped Lucy back into the boat and get her sitting where he was before he carefully climbed in too. It was a silent ride back to shore and you can only image Florence’s face when they returned soaking wet and miserable after leaving so excited and ready for adventure.

She jumped up right away and rushed over to them with concern all over her face, “What happened?”

“She fell in.” Daniel replied, scooping up the six-year-old and setting her steady on the sand.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay, baby?” Florence bent down to Lucy’s height and took her face in her hands as her daughter cried louder and threw her arms around her mother’s shoulders.

“I wanna go home! I hate it here!” Lucy cried, earning a few glances from other families around the beach.

Florence looked up at Daniel over their youngest’s shoulder and he simply shrugged tiredly. Daniel helped Clementine out of the canoe and she trudged over to Penelope farther up the beach without another word to her parents. Daniel sighed in defeat as Florence got a crying Lucy out of her lifejacket and then picked her up, petting her wet hair out of her face and held her head against her shoulder.

“Okay. If you want to leave we can leave.” Daniel mumbled.

“I’m sorry, my love.” Florence whispered, pressing a hand to his cheek and pulled him in for a quick kiss. “I know you wanted a fun week.”

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Daniel frowned lightly, glancing past her to the oldest two girls on the sand as they dug with their little shovels, looking absolutely miserable. “Don’t want to torture my family anymore.”

“You’re not torturing anyone.” Florence laughed lightly, pushing his soaked hair back from his face. “Now come on, you return the canoe and I’ll bring the girls back to the site to pack up.”

After their campsite was packed up – ensuring another screaming fit from the girls when a large spider was found on their tent – and the car was loaded, Daniel had to suffer the embarrassment at the gatehouse to ask for a refund for checking out early after only one night. When they left the park, they stopped at McDonalds for lunch much to the girls’ excitement and then hit the highway to head back into the city.

Daniel had been mostly silent since they left the park and the girls had fallen asleep in the backseat after lunch, tired out from an uncomfortable night on the forest floor. Florence set her hand on Daniel’s thigh comfortingly as he drove, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Daniel shot her his best convincing smile, but it wasn’t very believable.

“Sorry it wasn’t what you expected.”

“It’s fine.” Daniel shrugged. “We’re definitely not doing this again though.”

“Nope.” Florence agreed.

Daniel set his right hand in hers on his lap and linked their fingers together, “Maybe having three girls is different than my parents with three boys.”

Florence scoffed lightheartedly, “You think?”

#daniel seavey #anything but mine #why dont we #daniel seavey imagines

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starline148 · 4 years

Note

I hope you feel better soon! ;u; For the ask meme, 001 with KdFd, GouTora and/or SomeFubu!

Hi! I’ve been really busy this past week but I’m better, thank you and thanks for asking too! I did the three of them because I just love all of them :D

001 Ship: KdFd

When I started shipping it if I did:

Here it's again the story of how my little brother with only 10 years opened my eyes and changed my life. So we were watching Inazuma Eleven 3rd season (before the rewatch) and I was watching the anime without shipping (or realizing) anything at that moment. Then my brother sighed and told me "Jude and Caleb should marry, they're so obviously in love" and I was like OMG it's TRUE. (Funny thing is that he has this good sense for canon ships, like he said Korra and Asami would end together when half first season was on and has done it with other couples too -also he could adivine who would fall on an ice skating rink, he would be a very good fortune teller-)

My thoughts:

They're my OTP. Like, they're the ship I like most of every ship I ship. And I have some old “growing with” ships in the list like pokeshipping, takari and harutake, which are from some animes that were truly important to me as a child and so are these ships.

I love Kidou and Fudou as individuals, as friends and as a couple. Fudou is my favourite character from Inazuma (and my favourite character in general). And well, I just adore their relationship so much, like they're so pure somehow. I love their moments, their episodes, their hissatsus. I was really excited when Killer Fields happened. And the match against Team K or the Demons/Fallen Angel. I love so much when they're holding hands, such a moment.

So, summarizing I LOVE THEM.

What makes me happy about them:

THEY, EVERYTHING about them makes me happy. I love watching anything about them. And I love creating drawings/stories about them because I just love them so much.

What makes me sad about them:

Ares/Orion. But as I don't like it in general… Something I missed was Kidou not returning to Teikoku in the end of OG. But I also would have liked them interacting in Go. Like, I want to rewrite Go movie so Fudou can go save Kidou when he is kidnapped.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Here I really have something. When they make Fudou not being faithful to Kidou just for drama or kinks. When I don't like a summary I don't go further but I found twice something not expected in tags or warning and well, went sad because to me they are LOVE made couple.

Also, this is very particular and based in personal trauma. I don't like smoking Fudou. I don't like smoking characters in general, because my mother smoked when I was little and somehow this is a traumatic experience. But I can go with it. Like I'll read the story although I don't enjoy this specific little thing.

Things I look for in fanfic:

If they're there in a respectful relationship or going to it, I'm on board. I love them so much that I'll read almost anything with them. I even read a story where Kidou died and I didn’t like them but the story was beautiful.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I can't imagine another person for them. And what's more I never saw Kidou as an easy partner. I think it's hard to go on with him based on his personality, but that's just my view of him.

My happily ever after for them:

While I like the idea of them working as professional football players I absolutely love the idea of Fudou and Kidou being the first ones to start the time travelling thing. Like first investigations, first ideas of how this is in fact possible, etc. Maybe not being able to travel, but putting the seeds for further investigations.

So, they marry after Genda and Sakuma. They’re in the Japan Football Team but as the same time they work in their own business of ingenery/physics helping with prototypes of really complex technology (I can see them working in collaboration with Tatsuya and Midorikawa). They have three kids and live in an expensive and luxurious flat near a park. They often travel to Italy, they even have a second residence there. They in fact (as any other couple you can ask me) have a long and happy married life. Kidou dies first, Fudou’s the last one of his friends and he makes a special bond with his great grandson Kidou Akira.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Fudou is the big spoon most of the time to cheer Kidou up. Sometimes despiste it is Kidou who hugs Fudou from the back.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Watching Happy Feet 😂😂 ok, seriously. I imagine them being very competitive so they enjoy any game they can play. Chess, Go, Super Smash Bros, Monopoly, any game. They enjoy playing and trying to beat the other so the winner can show dominance.

I also think they'd enjoy walking at night together and sitting on a bench (Kidou's romantic rival) just to breathe air and hold hands in silence, sometimes they'd talk, sometimes they wouldn't.

001 Ship: SomeFubu

When I started shipping it if I did:

The truth is that the first time I watched Inazuma I didn’t like Fubuki, the anime was in middle of the second arc and I didn't understand what was going on. It also happened someone I didn't like loved Fubuki. So it took me some time to like Fubuki and start shipping him with Someoka who is one of my favs. More truth to be said, Someoka was the one that helped me to like Fubuki XD The scene that started everything was the one of "being like the wind together" and AND the Ogre movie. When Someoka gives his T-shirt to Fubuki to defend Raimon, he didn't know him yet and still trust him so much. Being Someoka that meant a lot.

My thoughts:

I adore Someoka so for me is a bit unbalanced, I mean, I love Someoka so so much that Fubuki doesn’t get all my focus here. Anyways, this couple is just adorable, the thing I like most is thinking that Someoka would be so soft and tender with Fubuki, Someoka loves everything in him, he knows him so much. You can’t convince me that Someoka wouldn’t be the best boyfriend ever. And Fubuki would absolutely love him back at 200% or more, supporting his dreams, improving his self steem and being for Someoka when he needs it. I like to imagine them as one of these extra sweet couples.

What makes me happy about them:

I’m always happy when I know someone else ship them because they are amazing. But as they’re not canon there’s no so much content. BUT the only good thing Ares had to me was Someoka being in Hakuren Team (I don’t like how he was used there, but well… that’s another story). And I love watching art or reading of them.

What makes me sad about them:

People being assholes and insulting Someoka and Someoka’s fans. Especially when they ship Fubuki with Gouenji. Ship whatever you want to ship and leave the others alone. Don’t come insulting us.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Sometimes I find that SomeFubu relationship is portrayed as toxic as hell and Someoka is really abusive. And that makes me sad even if I’m not going to read that.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Fluff, comfort, daily life. Happy stories.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I don’t have any particular ship for them aside from SomeFubu. But if not with Fubuki I wish Someoka to be with the BEST PERSON he could dream.

My happily ever after for them:

They live in a little house in a little town in Hokkaido. Someoka at least plays in the National Team and Fubuki is Hakuren’s Coach. They both play in a smaller local team too. When they are too old to play in the National I can see them running an Adventure and Excursion business, maybe aimed at children so they can enjoy and have fun at the mountain. They have a daughter and a fox Someoka rescued.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Someoka is the big spoon and he loves it.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

I really think they’d love to go skiing and snowboarding together, in general they’d love to enjoy snow and then go back home to drink hot cocoa. I also see them cooking together, being the main chef Someoka and Fubuki helping him with the little things like putting near the salt or taking the carrots out of the fridge.

001 Ship: GouTora

When I started shipping it if I did:

If I remember right it was in the match against Fire Dragon. But I’m not so sure with this ship, it could be sooner, but not later.

My thoughts:

I am usually don’t like so much ships where one of them starts with such an admiration for the other because I think they tend to not be healthy. But Idk, I just love them so much? I love Toramaru, I don’t usually talk or write about him but he is one of my favourite characters and I totally felt with this ship. I like the idea that Gouenji can be himself with him too, even if this means that he is sometimes a bit mean or impatient, not that he can mistreat Toramaru because he wouldn’t, just not need to be always perfect.

What makes me happy about them:

I love how their relationship evolves and how Toramaru wins confidence in the anime. I think that shipping or not shipping it’s a really nice relationship. And I also really really like Tiger Storm. I was also happy that in Go Toramaru is the only one of Gouenji’s friends to whom he not only told the truth but asked for help, like their bond is so lovely.

What makes me sad about them:

Not about them, but I was sad Toramaru wasn’t in Inazuma Legend Japan. I think he was in the bench, with Tachimukai, Midorikawa and all the others that didn’t appear in the Team, you can’t change my mind.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Not sure, I didn’t see many fanfic for them ;v; which is the most sad. So, the lack of stories.

Things I look for in fanfic:

As there are only a few fan fics of them I think I’d like whatever I can find if they don’t have my no-no (main character death, and so)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I don’t have any other for Gouenji but for Toramaru would be Gouenji’s sister Yuuka :,) (I prefer her with Yuuichi anyways).

My happily ever after for them:

Toramaru runs his Detective Agency and Gouenji plays in a national team (can be boring but they are football players so being professionals I suppose is the best for all of them ;v;). They live in Okinawa, near the sea. Being neighbours with TsunaTachi and HIjikata. They have a really really really big dog called Tiger because owning tigers isn’t allowed (as Gouenji discovered). They’d have 3-5 children, adopted from Hijikata orphanage. When retired Gouenji starts working as a doctor because he actually studied Medicine and because I fucking love the detective+doctor duo :D They have the best garden in Okinawa.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Toramaru is the big spoon or jet pack.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

They love going to the cinema together, Toramaru couldn’t go but a few times as a child because he had to help his mother so he is always super excited when they go to watch a movie. Once they grew having the best garden, it helps them to relax and keep stress away. But they always like to watch a good movie, specially if it’s about detectives. I also think they’d enjoy the sea a lot: swimming, surfing and all, once Tsunami teaches them how to love the sea.

#inazuma eleven #kdfd #somefubu #goutora #askgame

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woohooligancomics · 6 years

Text

Webcomic Whimsy: Furry Experience!

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Furry Experience

Author: Ellen Natalie • Patreon • Facebook • Twitter

Site: Smack Jeeves

Genres: Comedy, Drama, Furry, Mormons

Rating: G (?)

Updates: Saturdays

My Starting Point (requested by artist): Page 182 (I'm not sure if they're arranged in chapters -- the archive doesn't seem to have chapter numbers)

Synopsis (from the About page): Three roommates attending college in Utah Valley. Between their different backgrounds, beliefs, and friends, there's sure to be lots of comedy and drama before anyone earns a diploma.

This starting page is probably a decent example of what you can expect from Furry Experience. Obviously the characters are anthropomorphic animals, as you'd expect from the title. The main characters are college roommates, so you would expect that kind of sit-com-esque, day-in-the-life humor. And the art is of good enough quality that we're not scratching our heads about what's going on here.

Ultimately, yes there's a good bit of comedy and a little drama in it, but the drama seems rather tame and the comedy seems very much of the family-friendly variety. I think where the story really excels is in a kind of smooth-seas, non-threatening character development. The characters never seem especially challenged by the events in their life, despite plenty of displays of emotion, and there are lots of scenes of friend and family bonding. To be honest, a lot of it feels to me like the TV commercials the Mormon church sometimes airs, where something ostensibly portrayed as bad seems to have happened, like the kids got their dress clothes all dirty, and just as the parents are about to lay into them, they start a water-fight with the garden hose instead.

I seem to always be waiting for something more outlandish or more personally challenging to happen to one of the characters and it never really does. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm conditioned to expect that from the TV shows I watch. In any event, if you like friend and family bonding and g-rated humor, this might be for you! :D

The first several pages of this story arc is all three of the roommates continually changing the whiteboard to pass the dishes chore onto each other until Cat, who I presume is a dimwit stereotype, reaches the conclusion that the whiteboard is cursed, rather than that her roommates have been changing it.

Some people might not like me saying this, and fuck them. I like the fact that the cast is weighted on women. I counted fourteen female characters to six male on the about page. The reason I say I like this is because culturally, we've been programmed to expect the cast to be heavily male weighted. This programming is so strong, that when you ask people to estimate the number of women in a room, they usually will say "about half" when the room is actually only 20% or one in five women. Despite its sexist origins, Star Trek: the Next Generation did a better job featuring a 6-to-3 cast ratio in the first season, before Yar died, leaving the ratio 6-to-2. To be fair, Furry Experience isn't even that heavily weighted, the men are slightly less than one in three, so it's comparable to ST:TNG's first season.

The whiteboard joke ends abruptly after a few pages once Cat destroys it, and without showing any further bickering over the dishes chore, so those several pages are essentially a really short comedic subplot or a really long self-contained comic strip.

Then we're on to the next story which starts with Ronnie and her friend Vikki visiting a book-store at the mall. I have to agree with Ronnie here, I've been inside Mormon book stores and I'm not sure I would call it "culture". Mormons are if anything extremely conservative, so aside from picking up on some of their religious idiosyncrasies, the Mormon bookstore would actually restrict the amount of alternative views you're exposing yourself to, not expand them. I personally was raised Mormon (I'm Unitarian / positive agnostic), and my mother was Mormon until some time in my mid thirties. She still refuses to believe anything a liberal says, but takes on face value anything said by a conservative, like for example that Trump never said "grab them by the pussy" (even though he and his wife both admitted it on TV and during the debates), because the whole tape was manufactured as a part of a grand conspiracy. As far as she's concerned, the conspiracy is more believable than the idea that Trump said it, despite the fact that there are numerous TV apperances showing Trump bragging that he wants to fuck his daughter. :-/

But I'm off topic... Ronnie and Vikki are going to the Mormon book store. If you're unfamiliar with Mormonism, Utah is like the Mormons' Vatican... Well, Salt Lake City is, but also most of Utah. Mormonism is such an entrenched part of the state that it's actually somewhat difficult to live in the state without being Mormon, because you can't go or work anywhere without the Mormons in the office giving you crap about the fact that you drink coffee. (They have a religious prohibition on coffee like they do alcohol and cigarettes.)

Honestly, it's hard for me to say much about the following page except "agreed".

So they leave the book shop and they're talking about hanging out the rest of the evening and of course, like I said, it's hard to live in Utah if you're not Mormon, the subject comes up again.

Yes, that's really a thing, Mormons are supposed to have a "family home evening" (most of them do it on Monday), in which they have a gospel lesson... but because it's super hard to maintain that amount of bullshit for such an extended period of time (they all just spent three hours at church the day before), most of them don't manage to have their gospel lesson ready and then feel guilty and go out to eat somewhere with their family instead. And this isn't even mentioning the host of extracurricular church activities they're supposed to engage in, like their weekly study-buddies with other church members.

So the discussion about where to hang out leads to some mystery about what Vikki is hiding at her apartment.

Ronnie decides to stalk Vikki to find out what's wrong with her apartment, and thanks to the laws of sit-com world, what's wrong is that all three of Vikkie's roommates aren't just practicing Mormons, they even bought the "god is watching you" poster from the previous page.

Ellen told me that this series included furries, comedy, drama and Mormon's in that order. So I'm taking her word for it that most of the content isn't specifically about Mormonism, but she did start me out right in front of an arc about how annoying it is to live in Utah if you're not. Vikki's roommates are all attending "Furry Young" university in Provo (Brigham Young is the university owned by the Mormon church) and have stereotypically conservative, female career goals like school teacher, nursing and housewife.

When the discussion turns to the typical Mormon attitude that "of course everyone wants to get married", the story does briefly touch on one of the more awkward and imo hilarious aspects of Mormon religion: if you don't marry on earth, you get to marry one of god's soldiers in heaven! :P

It seems a little odd to me personally that Ellen sidestepped the fact that the Mormon church is polygamist, so it wouldn't matter that those soldiers had already married, because they would get to be wife #3 or 8 or whatever and should be just as happy with that. :P But damnit, Ronnie, don't use the G word in front of the roommates, it really upsets them, and Vikki still has to live with them.

I mentioned all the extracurricular churcch activities, right? Basically the Mormon church expects its members to fill every waking moment with church doctrine in some form. On the toilet? Great opportunity to brush up on Leviticus!

Okay, that's actually a sweet moment between Ronnie and Vikki, and as much as I think Vikki's approach was off, at least now I understand why she was going to the Mormon bookstore. This page was originally published in 2012... I don't know, it seems to me like using Google on your smartphone would be an easier way of learning the Mormonisms than frequenting their bookstore. Google? Why? I have libraries!

So Vikki's roommates want Ronnie and Vikki both to participate in their "family home evening" (which, when you're not living with family, necessarily beccomes "roommate home evening"), which involves praying, singing hymns and a lecture about the importance of marrying in the Temple (a place non-Mormons aren't allowed to go, so obviously you have to marry within the religion to do that). As this is about as appealing as sand-papering your eyeballs, Ronnie gets them out of it by suggesting a "more interactive" activity so she can get to know them better: doorbell ditching! Which, to Vikki's surprise, the Mormon girls are toally into! Because when Mormons do it, they leave cookies, so... for all their faults, at least they're engaging in random acts of diabetes. :P (Fun fact, Mormons use more sugar in their cooking, are heavier set, and have more diabetes than just about any other religion.)

And then rather than buy cookies at the store (it's Monday, they're allowed), they start baking cookies at the last minute to go doorbell ditch them. The point of this page is primarily about how jargon-laden Mormonism is and, although I'm unfamiliar with these specific terms, I don't doubt them.

This story wraps up with a sentimental exchange between Ronnie and Vikki, which seems to me to be much of the flavor of the series as a whole: yes, there's your typical sitcom humor, but the overall tone feels to me less "let's make this hilarious" and more "even Lifetime movies have comic relief". Obviously that's a personal opinion and mileage varies.

The following story centers on one of the few male characters, Hunter, who's also college age, though still living with his parents. He's decided to make (nude) modelling for college art classes his full-time job, which sets the story up for tension between Hunter and his mother.

It isn't apparent until the following page that Mom is aware that Hunter's job is getting nakedy naked in the colleges of the world's most sexually repressed city ... seriously, there's probably more fucking in the Vatican than in Salt Lake. Probably a lot more. Anyway, Mom doesn't like it, that's why she's helicopter-momming Hunter and calling to set up job interviews without his consent.

And like I said before, this is where the story gets real Lifetime on us, with Mom talking about Hunter's entirely non-sex job like he's an alcoholic or a drug addict and this is an intervention.

I definitely have some questions about the pirate job. If we're talking movie or theater, that might be pretty cool, but it would be so much cooler if someone's hiring crew for a replica of the Queen Anne's revenge to terrorize rich people on their yachts in Lake Erie. It's probably disappointingly, a mascot job for a seafood restaurant or worse pirate-themed tax prep. "We be takin' deduction ARRR!"

Yes, he's deep undercover in Salt Lake City, trying to recover state secrets stolen by the Illuminati and hidden in the Mormon temple. Okay, that may not be as funny to you, but it's hilarious to me... after growing up with my Mormon mom, who's now a non-denominational pagan (ask me about her salt altars) who obsessively watches atheist YouTube channels. :P

Honesty, yes... that goes over great with Mormons who're so sexually repressed their sex organs have literally shrivelled up and become vestigial. Seriously, these people think kissing on the lips is a sin.

Oh! Hunter's family are mormon, wow... I sort of assumed they were the rare non-Mormon family in Utah... When I was younger, I think my mom's reaction to me being naked for money would have been on the order of apoplexy or a stroke. But I can certainly relate to the sleazy sales company -- I've been on a few of those interviews, even tried to work those jobs once or twice. Ugh! The only bright side there is that when you do eventually go to hell (and you will), the job will have prepared you for it.

Yes, an hour is a typical amount of training in a lot of telemarketing jobs, and they're just as evil as the door-to-door sales job. I'm pretty sure I saw Stabby's owner on the cast list page, so I guess not all the characters know each other.

Called it! I really wish it had been actual pirating on Lake Erie. :-(

Meta joke! It must be about a webcomic I haven't read. I have no idea why Panda-Joel works as a joke.

Anyway that story ends with Hunter getting a concession job at a movie theater to replace Luke (Joel) and the end of the tension with his mother is that the job is great because it's mostly at night and fits neatly into his existing schedule so he can work both jobs and save up to potentially move out. Mom appears stunned at the news, which I'm guessing is supposed to mean she's not entirely happy with him moving out (and we know she wasn't happy with the art-modeling job he's still keeping). So I think the "punchline" there was "be careful what you wish for". As a former Mormon, I can't tell you how Mormon that whole thing feels. It's all so... mundane and uncomplicated. I'd have tried to end that story with a more challenging, possibly even surreal punchline, like the introduction of Stabby.

Artist insert. There's usually a single-page joke between stories and they're all labelled "filler page #". This one is 28.

I like the fact that the whiteboard changes mid-scene when it's obvious nobody's touched it. It may have just been a callback to the haunted whiteboard from the previous story, but I just think it's a cool bit of meta humor in general. I did the same thing with writing on the walls of the women's bathroom in the Pit (hell's bar, run by Azrael, who's Grumpy Cat's dad).

Again, this is Salt "No Sex Period" Lake City.

And just like they have a prohibition on sex, they also have a prohibition on ... you know, fun.

Tricking your kids out of things they want is really the job of being a dad if we're being honest.

Like I said before, the strip seems to focus primarily on friend-and-family bonding, sort of a furry, colorized Leave It To Beaver. So if you like family-friendly sitcoms, give Furry Experience a look!

If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review-request rules here.

If you enjoyed this and want to help me make more reviews, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help by checking out and sharing my own comedy and laughtivist webcomic, Woohooligan!

Thank you for sharing yourself with us! Sam

#review #furry #anthropomorphic #religion #family friendly

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monstrousthingsrp · 7 years

Photo

This is the Mod Nicky’s application for Luna Lovegood.

OOC Details

Name: Nicky

Pronouns: she/her

Activity Level: Medium: higher on weekends than during the beginning of the week due to work schedule, although I work retail so that can sometimes vary. I ought to be able to manage at least one response nearly every day however, and hopefully several on most days.

Other: I would appreciate it if people could tag references to dead or injured pets, particularly cats and those that are feline in nature (e.g. kneazles). It’s not a trigger, more of a squick; I would just prefer to have some warning if I’m going to encounter the subject. Thanks Otherwise, I am up for all the things, and the weirder the idea the better – so don’t be shy about throwing me curveballs! !

General IC Details

Name: Luna Pandora Lovegood (called “Loony Lovegood” by those who find her interrogation techniques unsettling; called “daddy’s girl” and similarly insulting comments by those who resent her rapid promotion and think it smacks more of nepotism than competence)

Age: 24 (born Feb 13, 1981)

Gender/Pronouns: SHE/HER – her parents raised her without a big focus on gender roles (or any other social expectations, except that she learn to question everything) and while these days Luna leans toward the female end of the spectrum, she isn’t sure she lands all the way at the end; there’s something about most witches that strikes her as more overtly gendered than how she feels when she thinks about herself. Maybe she’s just a late bloomer and hasn’t grown into “womanhood” yet – or maybe she’s fine inching a little bit closer to the middle. (demi-girl)

Desired Changes: none

Please describe the character’s education experience:

The Royal Academy of Unnatural Education, of course – where else would the daughter of two such prominent members of the Ministry of Magical Regulation have gone to school? Of course, she didn’t exactly excel there… TRAUE is very big on putting its pupils into boxes and Luna has never been a person who’s easy to box. Even just getting her to focus can be difficult, cooperative though she tries to be; she’s prone to distractions and tangents and more than one teacher probably entertained themselves with fantasies of strangling or smothering or just simply duct-tapping her mouth to shut her up while she was in their classes. Luna isn’t just the sort of girl who would ask questions at inopportune times: she was the sort to ask weird questions. And worst, the level to how much they could ignore her and her nonsensical comments was limited; after all, between running the R&D Department and heading the Interrogation Department, her parents aren’t people it’s wise to cross. So her teachers had no choice but to put up with her…and, possibly, pass her when her grades didn’t really merit it. Not because she’s stupid, because she isn’t – but she doesn’t have the kind of intellect that blossoms in the face of standardized education and regimented homework. Still, she made it through TRAUE with her nature intact (probably because she spent more time daydreaming than she did listening to her instructors) and she learned enough from her parents, and her own experimentation, that any holes left in the education that TRAUE failed to give her are easily vaulted…albeit sometimes in some truly idiosyncratic ways.

Job/Role:

It was clear from an early age that Luna was suited to follow in her parents’ footsteps, although most bets would have placed her on her mother’s experimental path rather than her father’s; anyone as idiosyncratically curious as Luna, people assumed, ought to go into a line of work where she could tear-apart and reassemble and distill and recombine and wait to see what blows up and what doesn’t. What such assumptions fail to take into account is that her father does that too, he just does it with people instead of with spells and potions. And while Luna enjoys playing around with spells and potions, people are stranger. Once you’ve performed the same experiment ten or twenty times you aren’t likely to be surprised by the minutely-differing results anymore, and that’s mostly what experimentation is: repeating the same process over and over with tiny differences to see what happens. When you’re pulling a person’s secrets apart, you don’t have to retread the same ground a dozen times in search of reproducible results. You just get to ask, and listen to the answer, and ask again – immediately.

So Luna went into the Department of Unnatural Interrogation and Information Gathering and quickly proved herself a gifted agent both in gathering information and in…well, in gathering information by taking it from other people. The program she’s in, as a journeyman agent (no longer a junior—a fast promotion for someone her age, but one based more on skill than nepotism believe it or not), she alternates between three days a week working inside the department’s offices as a questioner and analyst and two working the streets of London as an observer and listener. Of course in many ways, Luna is never really off-duty anyway. She’s a good listener by nature, good at getting people to talk about themselves and their problems and their hopes and their fears. Mostly she does this just by caring about the answers—so many people don’t; when they’re in a conversation often they’re really just waiting until it’s their turn to speak again, but Luna listens. And when just being a curious and nonjudgmental ear fails, well, there are lots of fun little techniques that the Department of Unnatural Interrogation and Information Gathering has perfected over the years for encouraging people to talk. Luna is good at those, too. It’s not that she takes any pleasure in hurting people; she just doesn’t mind doing what’s necessary in order to pursue information. All information should be free and shared freely and anyone who isn’t doing that—well, they’re doing wrong, and must be enticed to do right. Whether they want to or not.

Character Traits:

+ CURIOUS she wants to know everything and anything and treats all knowledge as worthy, regardless of social stigma or potential embarrassment; she has no qualms about either, not for herself or for others and she’ll follow a question anywhere, even into danger

+ BRAVE because what is there to fear, really? Everything that happens is a new experience, which means that everything is a learning experience. Sometimes what you learn about hurts, true – but you’re still learning something. Why be afraid of that?

+ INSIGHTFUL if she were a kinder person it might be called empathy, but while she’s good at understanding what people think and feel she just uses that understanding to learn more, and the more she understands the more precisely she can calibrate her questions…or the pain that ensures she’s going to get her answers

- CALLOUS when there’s a question she wants an answer to she’ll follow any path to get it, no matter that the cost is along the way or how much pain and suffering it causes

- DISTRACTED easily and repeatedly. Getting Luna to focus on one thing is hard not because she lacks patience but because it’s easy for a new idea to supersede the old before it’s finished

- GULLIBLE sometimes a mind can be too open and in Luna’s case, her readiness to believe anything means that sometimes she ends up treating falsehoods like facts; it’s her biggest pitfall as an interrogator, because while she’s good at getting answers she isn’t as good at weighing their worthiness because to her, all answers are good ones as long as they’re interesting

OOC Questions

List three aspects of the character or world that that caught your interest.

The fact that Luna Lovegood is evil. That was the biggest selling point on this whole idea for me, honestly – because it’s such an impossible idea. Out of all the characters in the whole series, Luna is probably the only one who is truly wholly good. Everybody else has, as Sirius might say, both good and bad inside them but while Luna has flaws to be sure – she doesn’t have a single drop of bad in her whole body. I have a tendency to invent AUs in my head just for fun, and Luna is pretty much the only character that I could never come up with a realistic way to turn evil and I never expected to find a game where she was one of the bad guys (not and have her role there be believable, anyway) but this Luna has so many traits in common with her canon version – and yet, she manages to be bad! It’s so exciting!

I also like that, unlike most twists on the blood-supremacy idea, this one does more than just reverse the idea of pure-vs-muggle-blood; it swirls the whole thing up. You’ve got pure-bloods and half-breeds on the same side because they’ve both got magical blood, and in this world that bonds people. “Purity” has nothing to do with it, but it’s not like the idea of magic-vs-nonmagical-blood has gone away; that’s what the whole premise hinges on, but in such a unique way! I like that the old biases are basically moot, but the problems that stem from those divisions aren’t; just shoved into new shapes and allegiances. I like that there are wix out there who play-up the Muggle side of their heritage “to look cooler,” but at the same time there are other wix who are so desperate to cling to magic that they’ll cling to any magic – even the kind of “impure” stuff their ancestors would have scoffed at.

Finally I really like that the premise isn’t as simple as wix-vs-muggles, or bloodsupremacists-vs-mugglelovers, or Death-Eaters-vs-Order-members, or any of the other straightforward conflicts that we’ve all enjoyed playing around with over the years. Everything’s a little more muddled here, and that’s fun. The sides that different characters are on seem more about the circumstance of their experiences than their birth; it’s all a little more open. Anyone can be a “bad guy” or a “good guy” and honestly – the lines are drawn vaguely enough that you can feasibly have “good guys” and “bad guys” on both sides. Working for the Ministry – following the expected status quo, doing your duty for queen and country, giving back to your community, etc – doesn’t necessarily make someone a villain, while fighting back as a member of the magical underground isn’t necessarily going to absolve someone of doing terrible things. It’s all twisty and nuanced and layered and I love it!

What is your dream plot?

The idea of Dark!Luna is a delight to me, so mainly my “dream plot” is just to play with that concept – to have her interact with people like Harry and Dean and Ginny and so-on in ways that are both eerily reminiscent of, and yet very very different from, their interactions in canon. She’s still the dreamy-eyed, nonjudgmental girl we know from the books…but her laid-back open-mindedness has been replaced by a (bloody) thirst for knowledge and answers. I especially want to explore what it’s like to have Luna for a friend in this world; I genuinely don’t think she really views people as enemies, even here, so much as people who are opposed to giving her information and who must thus be coerced. But they aren’t enemies. They’re just causing problems. No need to be angry at them for it; just twist that knife harder and everything will be all right!

(“Oh hi! Dean right? Yes I remember you from when my mum was experimenting on you! Gosh your tattoos look great now, did you do some of those yourself? Yes? How lovely! May I have a closer look at the one on your hand? Oh that’s very nice, yes…is something wrong? Why are looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”)

(“Oh no Ginny, I don’t think daddy took any offense when you trashed his office. Honestly, he didn’t have it very well organized to being with; daddy’s not big on organization. I think that annoys your brother Percy a little, have you noticed? Oh, did you want this table? Yes, of course, let me just get out of the way so you can throw it through the wall, that’s fine. Now I was wondering, would you like to go and get something to eat? When you’re done with the angry destruction, I mean – no hurry.”)

(“Oh Harry, Harry wait up! That man you brought in today was very interesting. He had all sorts of things to say about the nature of magic – what? Oh no, no he was telling the truth, he isn’t a wizard at all. What? No, no I don’t think daddy is mad that you wasted department time by arresting him. He was very interesting to talk to, didn’t I say that? Especially once we burned the soles of his feet, he was very talkative then. He told me all about the pigeon surveillance network he runs and how the ravens are in the middle of a civil war over whether or not to admit smaller corvids to their congress and…oh, you’re in a hurry? Well all right, we’ll talk later…”)

I’d also be interested in seeing Luna be on the other end of the interrogation scenario at some point – because I feel like she’d be a unique case, in that keeping secrets isn’t really her thing…and neither is holding a grudge because someone hurt her (especially here, where she knows they’re just doing their job – it’s usually her job, so she understands how it goes! no hard feelings). She’d probably be unnervingly cheerful and forthcoming about the whole thing, potential torture and drugging and mind-compulsion magic and all.

For the game overall, obviously specific plots will depend foremost on which characters are taken-up and what their players are in the mood for. But since this isn’t a game that has a big endgame goal in mind (win the war! kill the dark lord! etc) it’s a good place to explore more intimate character moments and fluid interaction developments. To that end, I hope for plots involving things like: what the hell are Luna’s parents up to now, and how do the people working with them feel about x, y, and z? and what’s the line between a freedom fighter and a terrorist anyway? and if you stoop to their level aren’t you just as bad as they are? and what is the value of human rights in a two-tiered society? and is your dislike of magic really rooted in the potential threat it carries, or are you just blindly regurgitating two-thousand-year-old myths without engaging your brain? and what’s the value of an innocent bystander?

Specific plot possibilities that seem interesting: let’s break into the Ministry! and let’s stage a heist of Gringotts I mean what’s the status of Diagon Alley anyway? and full moon carnival at the Caravan what fun! and the neutral ground of a half-repaired burned-out old bombshelter is the perfect place for a meet-cute! Oh, I meant a negotiation and prisoner exchange…or did I? and salvage run to the ruins of Hogsmede, oh wait why is something in the forest moving and why is it so BIG?

#monstrous enter if you dare #luna lovegood

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one-of-us-blog · 6 years

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Home Again, Rose: Parts 1-2 (TGG, Season 7, Episodes 23-24)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Home Again, Rose: Parts 1 and 2, the penultimate story arc of the final season of The Golden Girls. When a fun evening out lands Rose in the hospital, the girls are forced to pull together and demonstrate the true meaning of family. As the series prepares to wrap up its run, will we be saying goodbye to a pal and a confidant? Keep reading to find out…

Drew, despite the fact that I have neglected my recapping duties here for far too long, let me assure you that you did an amazing job with your take on For Your Eyes Only! This has never really been one of my favorites, but you made me feel some genuine emotions regarding Melina Havelock. Octopussy is next on your list, though you still have to wait for another recap from yours truly first, and while I’m not sure it will be an All Time High, I hope you have a good time. I’m not even going to share an update right now on Drew’s current favorites in the Bond franchise, I’m just going to get down to business. Once again, let’s head to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episodes written by Gail Parent and Jim Vallely, directed by Peter D. Beyt

We open with Dorothy complaining about her mother leaving the toilet seat up for some reason, while Blanche is excited that her daughter, Janet, and her granddaughter, Sarah, are coming to visit. She asks for help coming up with ideas for bonding experiences that don’t involve a visit to the docks, but Sophia doesn’t care enough to contribute, and Blanche doesn’t actually want any input from Dorothy. Rose eventually enters the scene with a letter she received, and is depressed to learn that she missed her 40th high school reunion. Dorothy reminds her that she wasn’t feeling well at the time, but refused to see a doctor, and we then learn that the residents of St. Olaf are basically anti-vaxxers who refuse to seek medical treatment. The girls point out that she’s looking pale and even call her crazy for refusing help, and it turns out Rose is part of the anti-psychiatry movement as well.

Blanche has been scanning the personal ads, and has stumbled across an announcement for a 40th reunion at a nearby high school. She thinks it would be a good idea for the gals to crash the party to make up for Rose’s lost opportunity. Rose agrees that it sounds fun, and Dorothy gets on board with the wacky plan as well. Heck, they even agree to take Sophia along on their adventure (though it may have something to do with the fact that she can no longer be trusted with a sitter, or most members of polite society). It’s time for some pre-reunion research to get ready for the big night!

We soon find the squad all dressed up for their evening of shenanigans, and Dorothy is hungry to live this fantasy. Blanche is still drilling Rose on facts about the school they’re pretending to be from, but Rose is having second thoughts about the whole idea. After all, it almost seems like they’ll be lying, and Rose is committed to total honesty. The girls then ask her about her natural hair color, and this gives Rose the push she needs to assume a false identity.

At the reunion, Rose quickly snags some nametags from the no-show table, and there is some disagreement as to whether these alternate personas are going to work. Rose (now a former Korean exchange student) begins to feel a little faint, but Dorothy quickly bonds with a random tar salesman, and Sophia poses as Spanish teacher Mrs. Gonzalez to seduce an old student. Blanche, inhabiting the role of Susan Armstrong, gets called out by a man Susan once publicly shamed for being gay, and then by the father of a lovechild she abandoned. Susan sounds like a real winner! Eventually, the Senior Class President announces that the class Prom King and Queen should take the stage, and Dorothy just happens to be posing as Prom Queen Cindy Lou. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this! She seizes the opportunity, but is recognized as a fraud and the whole group is quickly exposed. In all the commotion, Rose collapses in a heap on the floor while Dorothy/Cindy Lou screams for medical assistance.

We next cut to the hospital, where Blanche is pacing nervously, worried that her friend has died, or perhaps has suffered a stroke. Dorothy assures her that if Rose has suffered a stroke, they will simply bring her home and take care of her; after all, they’re family! Sophia shoots some icy daggers at her daughter, forcing Dorothy to at least entertain the option of sticking a post-stroke Rose in a Shady Pines-like facility. Blanche blames herself for making Rose crash the reunion, and is urged by Sophia to pray. Blanche isn’t so sure that God will listen to her, but she gives it a try anyway. In exchange for Rose’s well-being, Blanche promises to be a better person, and not to continue having casual sex (unless the dude really, reeeally needs it). A doctor enters to announce that Rose is doing fine after a minor cardiac episode, and the girls go to see her. But first, the doctor tries to pick up Blanche, and she is forced to turn him down considering her recent commitment. In the distance, a vengeful God takes delight.

The gals all talk to Rose about her scare, and begin evaluating their own lives. Rose mentions that she isn’t afraid to die because she is planning to use the power of cryogenics to freeze her head for future recovery (despite the aforementioned St. Olaf science denial). She gives the girls a good laugh at the mention of preserving her brain, but eventually forces her friends to promise to be cryogenically frozen as well. I can’t wait for Golden Girls 2049!

While Rose is spending some additional time in the hospital for observation, Janet and Sarah show up at the house. Blanche is in a great mood, and suggests they take a trip to church. Janet isn’t crazy about this new interest in religion, but Blanche is committed to spreading the Good News, and even has some Bibles to distribute. Sarah misses her “sexy grandma.”

Back at the hospital, we find Sophia pursuing her hobby of petty theft when a nurse enters to tell the girls that apparently Rose has gone into cardiac arrest and is being prepped for major surgery.

Gasp! To be continued…

We can’t leave Rose hanging, we have to continue this recap STAT! After a summary of events thus far, the girls are desperate to see their friend, but they are not allowed as they aren’t family members. Dorothy makes an impassioned plea to the nurse, Sophia tries out another false identity, and Blanche employs “scripture,” but no dice. Blanche begins another group prayer instead.

Hours pass, and the gals receive no news. Sophia shares a story about the time that Dorothy’s father way dying in the hospital, and somehow the trio ends up singing a beer jingle to raise their spirits. Unfortunately, Rose’s daughter Kirsten shows up at this moment and thinks the gals are having a great time instead of feeling sorry for their friend. She goes off alone to get some answers. The girls share some fond memories of Rose, including a musical she wrote, and Dorothy is in the midst of another song when Kirsten returns. Kirsten tells the girls that she is confused about their lives with her mother, and thinks that all the wild escapades they are constantly having might be killing Rose. Despite what they might feel, they are not her family. A doctor finally arrives to tell everyone that Rose has to have triple bypass heart surgery, but Kirsten points out that the girls aren’t family members so that only she can see Rose. It’s a total dick move, but I’m not sure it was premeditated.

Kirsten talks to her mother, and Rose is happy to see her but really wants to see the girls…”her” girls. Rose says that if anything happens to her, she wants Kirsten to take care of Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia. She also performs an SNL intro, visits the Tonight Show, and mentions her cryogenic schemes. Eventually she says goodbye as she is wheeled into surgery.

The girls continue to wait, and Blanche says that she is envious of Dorothy and Sophia’s relationship as she didn’t get to say goodbye to her own mother. Janet and Sarah show up at the hospital as well, because we’re supposed to remember that they’re in the episode for some reason. More time passes, and Kirsten emerges to tell everyone that Rose is out of surgery but doesn’t look so good. The next few hours will be very crucial, and Rose will likely need lots of care that the insurance just won’t cover. The girls point out that they have already made a pact to care for one another no matter what the personal or financial cost, and Kirsten finally realizes how special their relationship is. She goes to talk to the doctor so that Rose can see her “family.” The trio eventually sees their friend, but Rose is in midst of a dream…

In this strange vision, Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche all have their heads severed and resting in ice on the kitchen table. All perfectly normal so far, but they are also all perfectly aware of their predicament. Sophia happens to be living her #BestLife with the body of a much younger woman, and we learn that Blanche died at age 92 in yet another sexual adventure, while Dorothy suffered death by gorilla. Realizing the cryogenic approach might not have been the best strategy, Rose begins to apologize…

Rose finally wakes up in the hospital with her friends surrounding her. It is clear that their bond is stronger than ever, and she asks them all to stay by her side.

We end with the gals throwing a “Welcome Home” party for Rose, even if they simply whisper the “Surprise!” moment for obvious safety reasons. Rose goes to the kitchen to see Sophia, who is crouched on the floor after dropping a knife (or perhaps disposing of a murder weapon…that’s right, I’ve still got my eye on the old broad), giving the impression that her severed head is resting on the table just as in Rose’s dream. Surprise indeed! The entire squad embraces as the episode concludes, and we draw just a bit closer to the end of the series.

The End.

This was a pretty good episode, and I like that they raised the stakes as the series was coming to an end. I knew that Rose would survive, but I can imagine viewers at the time having just a shred of doubt (assuming they knew the show was in its final season, but I’m not sure about that). I think that Janet and Sarah were completely wasted here, and I’m not sure what purpose they served apart from briefly commenting on Blanche’s religious transformation. Speaking of which, I enjoyed the subplot with Blanche finding faith, however clumsily it was practiced. I also really enjoyed seeing the gang crash the reunion, and there were some genuinely touching moments as they worried for their friend. The frozen head dream sequence was kind of lame in my opinion, but overall I came away with a favorable reaction to this two-part tale of the true meaning of family. I would give Home Again, Rose a rating of 3.5 poofy hairdos out of 5!

Drew still has a bit more time before he has to recap Octopussy, but I will be back as soon as I can with my VERY LAST Golden Girls episode recap, this time of the series finale, One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Nest! What a long, strange trip it has been. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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recentanimenews · 6 years

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Umineko: When They Cry, Vol. 16

Story by Ryukishi07; Art by Eita Mizuno. Released in Japan in three separate volumes as “Umineko no Naku Koro ni: Requiem of the Golden Witch” by Square Enix, serialized in the magazine Shonen Gangan. Released in North America by Yen Press. Translated by Stephen Paul.

It’s been nearly a year since we last checked in on Rokkenjima. We have two arcs left, and they’re both packed to the gills – each is nine volumes total. And they’re sometimes big volumes. That means this first omnibus of three by Yen is 826 pages long, but fortunately it doesn’t feel like you’re reading a lot. By now we’re familiar with everyone in the story, and since Requiem is, for the most part, devoted to explaining the mysteries from the previous six arcs, everything glides along very smoothly. Well, we’re familiar with almost everyone in the story. This volume is noticeably short on Battler, who only shows up at the very start. Instead we get Willard D. Wright, who is to S. S. Van Dine what Dlanor is to Ronald Knox. Battler was a teenager who liked mysteries, Willard is an actual detective. And he’s here to get answers, along with his Watson, the heir to the Ushiromiya family, Lion.

That’s Lion on the front cover there, and you might be forgiven for a certain lack of recognition. And also wonder, as Will does, what Lion’s gender is. Ryukishi07 has deliberately hidden this from us, and explicitly told the manga artist (best known for Spiral: Bonds of Reasoning) to do the same, so I will try not to use gender pronouns. That said, if you understand Kinzo’s monstrous sexism from previous arcs, you can easily hazard a guess as to what gender his beloved grandchild and heir is. Lion is a lot of fun (and yes, the name completes the horrible Eva – Ange – Lion pun), pinching Will’s ass whenever he acts callous, which is a lot of the time. Will is retired, and doesn’t want to be here, but Bernkastel is basically forcing him to solve everything for her master. So we see him ask Rosa about what happened that day in 1967, talk to Jessica about her own experiences with being rude to Beatrice (or more accurately, Maria), and find out how Kinzo really got all that gold and who Beatrice was originally. (Admittedly, Kinzo’s story seems very romantic and idealized – you’re left wondering if that’s really all that happened.)

The ugliest part of this volume is, hands down, the section where everyone talks about the fact that Kinzo raped his own daughter, and all the servants basically say “well, yeah, that happened, but he really loved her mother, see?”. It’s infuriating, and at least Genji had the good sense to hide the next generation down until he was sure it wouldn’t happen AGAIN. Speaking of which, as rapidly becomes clear, Lion’s existence here ties into the 5th arc, where Natsuhi shoved the baby she’d been given by Kinzo to raise as her own off a cliff. Lion is what happens when she DOESN’T do that, something that Bern says is an incredibly rare thing. It’s to Lion’s credit that the first thing that comes to mind is defending Natsuhi, who really is a loving mother here. Honestly, Lion holds up pretty well with everything that’s going on, especially when we find out that in all the worlds where Natsuhi shoved the baby off the cliff, we get Beatrice, not Lion.

Towards the end of this omnibus, Will reveals the culprit to Lion and Bernkastel – but not to us, as we’re still supposed to make guesses. That said, many of the hints are laid out in front of us this volume as well. The fact that Shannon and Kanon are the only ones besides Will to not know who Lion is. The fact that when Will asks Shannon to go get Kanon so he can talk to them together, Shannon has possibly the scariest mental breakdown in the entire series. And the fact that when we get the “culprit” POV at the end, we see her, in 1976, working with a Shannon who looks exactly the same age as she does in 1986. Speaking of the word culprit, if you weren’t already horrified by the Evangelion pun, the fact that the nickname for the culprit is “Yasu” will surely have you rolling your eyes and grinding your teeth – that is, if you know Japanese mystery games.

This is, incest apologia aside, one of my favorite arcs, and the manga artist does a great job bringing it to life. Next time around we’ll get more flashbacks, as “Yasu” grows up, falls in love, and becomes a witch. If you’ve been reading Umineko all along, this is an essential volume.

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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