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violet-eng · 5 months

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Drunk!Loid Forger x wife!fem!reader | NSFW 🔞

Summary: Loid comes home very late drunk after going out drinking with Franky. He fucks you drunk.

Warnings: Porn with no plot lol. Smut +18. Oral fem! Masturbation. Inappropriate use of belt. Spanking. P i v. Unprotected sex, mention of pregnancy. MDNI

Wc: idk like 3k?

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For Agent Twilight, there was something pleasurable about playing Loid Forger, the carelessness that the peaceful family man could indulge in from time to time without suffering any major consequences...like the night Franky had invited him out for a drink.

Twilight was a man of strong drinks, the kind that go to your head and detach you from reality by ripping your thoughts and every last drop of consciousness from your brain... he was addicted to those drinks because he could stand them, because they were no challenge for the best spy in Westalis.

However... along with the wonderful, sweet personality that the Loid Forger brings with him, certain misplaced platitudes fall upon Twilight. Twilight was a cold man of steady mettle and pure stoicism, a determination that could not be eclipsed by mundane feelings like... falling in love....

The fusion of his alter ego as Loid Forger with that of his original identity as Twilight had led him to the very night he stumbled back to your house, his hand covering his face in search of relief from the terrible headache.

He doesn't turn on the kitchen light because he knows you're sleeping in their shared room, and he doesn't make any noise when he fills a glass of water because he's afraid of disturbing your sleep.

You, his beautiful and efficient wife, what more could he ask for but a devoted woman like you. Fuck... if only his mission would never end... he wouldn't have to leave you.

"Loid..." you whisper from the living room, peering over the wall. He woke you up... you can't see him in this state, he can't talk in this state. If he confesses anything now, if he gets carried away with his feelings for you, anything would jeopardize the mission...

Come on, Twilight, think fast. He shakes his head as he returns to his role as Loid Forger.

"Y/n, my dear. I'm sorry I woke you," the voice is calm, even though your name falls from his lips in a frenzy of emotions.

"You came back late," you add, emerging from your hiding place and walking towards him, who stops breathing for a moment.

The dim light illuminates your figure, you are wearing only one of his shirts, which covers the skin above your thighs, and a pair of white wool stockings. Your hair is down, and it seems to Twilight that you look perfect in this moment, with these clothes and this warm light.

Damn, she looks so...

"I'm... I'm sorry, I went out for a drink with Franky. I didn't think I'd be back so late," he stammers for a moment. What are you doing to him? What effect do you have on him that he can't control his emotions?

"I see," you smile, "your cheeks are pink, you look lovely"

"No... no, of course not," he turns his face away, lips parted and cheeks burning.

What are you doing, Twilight, regain your composure.

"I missed you," you confess, embracing him from behind, wrapping your arms around his waist and letting them fall to his stomach, filling his breath with your scent, your lemon and honey scent reaching into the deepest recesses of his mind, taking over his consciousness and his last shred of self-control.

I am Twilight... and I am fucked... I want to fuck her tonight like I've wanted to fuck her for months.

You are completely unaware of the man on top of you. He has carried you into the bedroom in one swift, nimble movement, stealthily and carefully. He has laid you down on the mattress and is now attacking your neck with his lips.

Whiskey breath surrounds your mind, your consciousness is clouded and your heart is disturbed by the frenzy of your husband's kisses, causing sensual gasps on your skin. Loid's hands run through your hair, tangling behind your neck to give him more access to your neck and chin, devouring your surface with hunger and desire.

You are completely immobilized by his muscular body, and by the surprise that his behavior has caused you, you feel your heart in your throat, the beats echoing in your ears, only eclipsed by his moaning when he touches the valley of your breasts through your shirt.

"Loid~" you bite your lip and try to push him away with both hands, but it's no use, Loid is so much stronger than you. Has he always been like this?

"You have no idea how you turn me on," he whispers, almost on the verge of madness, his throat is choked and he holds back his tongue that wants to run all over your body.

He sits on top of you, you find relief in being able to breathe normally for a moment as you see him unbutton his shirt, opening it with a jerk to expose his chiseled abdomen. It's not the first time you've looked at him without his clothes on, but you always marvel at the way his muscles stand out against his skin, the way a few scars frame his pecs and abdomen.

You reach out and touch his skin, the line between his chiseled abs, in a reflexive action. Having him so close, like this, awakens a vulgar side in you that only he knows.

"Patience," he whispers, the tone deep and punctuated with a lustful gasp.

He throws the cloth away from the bed and leaves his hands on the belt of his pants. His movements are desperate yet unmistakable, he is quite skilled for being so drunk.

His pants are on the floor next to his shirt and boxers, he holds the belt between his hands and strokes the leather with his fingers, a dark idea floating in his mind.

"Loid..." you get his attention, only to meet a dark stare, bathed in malice.

"I have plans for you, y/n" his smile is evil, but it turns you on, fuck, you've never seen this side of your husband before.

Loid made love to you, when you slept together he was the soft and gentle type who cared more about your satisfaction than his own. He didn't play with you, he didn't tempt you and he didn't make you beg. His gaze was always loving, full of sincere and genuine affection. His kisses were chaste, almost as if you would break if he came any closer, and his thrusts were gentle, so that he could feel you clearly and not hurt you.

And he didn't cum inside you because he knew you weren't ready to be pregnant, because it was enough to take care of Anya, another child would be too much work for both of you... so when you were done, he bathed you and fell asleep next to you, framing your form with a protective hug and sweet, almost poetic words in your ear until you were both asleep. Loid was a sweet and loving husband...

That was Loid, and it was okay... for you... because for Twilight, it was a nightmare.

He hated going slow, he hated not being able to bite your skin or leave marks between your legs, and worst of all, he hated you moaning a name that wasn't even his. That's why tonight, he would completely take over Forger's identity, kill Loid, and do to your body what Twilight had wanted to do since he first saw you.

"Shit," he grunts as he takes his member in his hand and fucks him with his fist, throwing his head back. Just the thought of fucking you that night had turned him on.

You look at him with great surprise, you've never seen Loid masturbate before and you didn't think the first time would be while he was on top of you. The way his ragged breathing lifts his chest, the way his muscles flex as he jerks his arm, and especially the way he moans your name as the red head of his cock drips pre-cum.

Even though you are completely unaware of this behavior, you can't take your eyes off of him. You slip a hand under your clothes, rifling through your panties in search of your clit, throbbing at the image of Loid above you. Your wrist is gripped by Loid's hand, which leans over you with a tight grip and whispers into your ear.

"Not yet. I haven't given you permission," the voice is unrecognizable, Loid has never used such a low tone.

He undoes the buttons of your shirt, pulling the fabric apart as he dips his face between your bare breasts, sliding the fabric under your shoulders as you squirm from the soft bites he leaves around your nipples.

He circles his tongue around the buttons of your breasts as he runs his hands all over you, from your sides to your arms, lifting them above your head. Loid touches you as if he has never touched a woman before.

He takes the belt and holds your wrists above your head, watching you from his position, like a hunter watching his prey. You let yourself be taken in by his bizarre game, maybe it's a fantasy he's wanted to fulfill for a long time and now he has the confidence to do it, you think.

And the reality is that Twilight fucks like this because he knows he's going to fuck you so good that you'll want to push it away with all your might.

He leaves a trail of kisses all over your face, down your chin, your neck, between your breasts and your stomach, around your waist and down to your hips, where he holds the elastic of your panties, fucking soaked with your juices.

He glances at you before tearing the thin fabric, and for a moment you can see the face of an unknown man, his face completely changed by the lust he is releasing at that moment. Leaning back on his elbows, he spreads your legs and rests them on his shoulders, licking his lips as he watches your dripping pussy.

With his fingers he gently caresses your valley and the edge of your hole, his finger grazes your clitoris, eliciting a moan from you.

He looks at you from between your legs, analyzes your face and the surroundings, and you swear his mind is going a mile a minute right now."What are you thinking about?" you ask embarrassed.Loid turns his gaze back to you, the blue of his eyes seeming darker than before.

"I was debating whether to gag you or not, I don't want to wake the kid."

"I won't make any noise... I... I promise," you say hesitantly, because you don't believe your own words.

"I want to hear you hold back," he smiles, the corner of his lip turning to the side.

He dips his face between your legs, his nose brushing your skin, his fingers parting your folds, his tongue moving from the base to the top. You shiver at the passage of his tongue as it begins to wiggle around your clit. It is delicate, gentle, as it always has been... but he seems to enjoy it more than before.

He gasps as he moves his head, his fingers spreading your folds further apart and you feel the warmth of his breath on your entrance. He doesn't tire, he doesn't stop, in fact, with each movement he seems more energetic than before.

He continues to caress your clit with his tongue, sucking on the small nub that makes you arch your back and hold back the moans that want to escape your mouth. You feel Loid's tongue at your entrance and his nose brushing your clit, then a finger slips gently inside you, followed by another.

His fingers are long, calloused, and surprisingly dexterous. He finds your spot almost immediately and you feel like you're seeing stars. His tongue doesn't leave your clit, your button is swollen and he sucks on it passionately while his fingers abuse your sensitive spot inside you.

Your walls close over his fingers, he thrusts in and out, fucking you wonderfully with his digits, while your ecstasy grows in your belly from his skillful tongue.

He lets out a hot gasp against your skin, and the sound of his fingers soaked in your juices floods the room, it seems harder and harder to contain your moans. You bite your lip hard as he makes a soft stroke over your button, his fingers digging deep inside you.

He makes a curious movement, lifting his fingers and seeming to increase his speed, he uses his other hand to mistreat your clit, with his elbows he spreads your legs. You can't close them, you want to, you want him to stop, you feel the burning in your stomach and in your legs. He lowers his face again to the level of your sex, just when it seems he is finished, he continues, his tongue abusing your hole and your clit in perfect synchrony, a hand runs down your belly and catches your breast.

"Loid~" you let out his name in an anxious moan "Ah~ Loid..."

That name, he thinks, his mouth and mind focused on your sex... I am that now, I am Loid Forger, this is my wife, and I will see to it that she can't get out of bed for days.

"Loid," you add, taking his hair between your fingers, your bound wrists making movement difficult.

"Mmh?" he whispers still between your legs, the vibrations of his voice sending electric waves up your spine.

"Since when... you're so good... so good at this," your words are cut off by a dirty moan that slips from between your lips. It hurts, it hurts not to be able to make a sound, it hurts not to be able to scream out how good your husband is eating you right now.

"What do you mean?" he asks, he knows exactly what you mean, but he likes to play with your mind, right now.

His movements are synchronized again and your mind is confused as you feel your orgasm erupt. Loid has never made you come with his tongue alone. And he hasn't lasted this long. It's different, he behaves differently.

You're breathing hard, your mind a whirlwind, and even more so as you watch Loid savor the nectar that has stained his fingers. His tongue dances erotically between his digits, and his gaze is all on you.

"I missed your taste. Much better than whiskey," he says.

You pick up your legs, thinking he is done, and when you go to ask him to untie your hands, you feel him flip your hips. The movement is quick, almost imperceptible, your face is glued to the sheet, and when you go to protest the sudden change of position, you feel him sink deep inside you.

"Loid!" the cry you let out is unmistakable. It hurt, but it also felt so good. He pushes your walls apart with his cock, molding your insides for him. He leaves a resounding slap on your butcheek and you hear him laughing behind you.

"Just what I wanted to hear," he says.

He pulls back, letting the head tease your entrance, your sodden pussy contracting to nothing, and he slips back in, whole, as far as your cervix will allow. You feel the crash of his hips against your ass and his balls slapping against your skin. His hands are anchored to your hips, leaving occasional slaps on your now pink skin. He's ramming you like an animal, the pace is fast and the force is enormous.

You tremble, your face sunk into the mattress, your forehead rubbing against the sheet from your husband's movements, your elbows in front of your head and your hands raised as if in prayer.

"Loid~ please...more...slower," you moan, almost sobbing.

Each thrust is accompanied by moans from both of you, his moans dark in comparison to yours, and in the background the grinding of the bed and the banging of the headboard against the wall. He moves like he's never moved before, fucks you like he's never fucked you before.

His fingers slide under your belly, touching your clit, you let out another scream at the overstimulation, and begin to move your hips in time to his fingers. Your breasts are massaged by his other hand, fully attended.

"Loid, Loid I..." you don't know what to say, the sentences you blurt out are meaningless, pleasure clouds your mind and all you hear is Loid's low growl behind you.

"You have no idea," he whispers in your ear and leans over you. You feel his chest against your back, your pussy shuddering at the change in position and the sudden cessation of his assault. "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to fuck you like this."

He spreads your lips with his fingers and your tongue tastes your own taste and a hint of the whiskey he'd had a few hours ago.

"m gonna fuck you until that little pussy of yours breaks, did you hear me?" he demanded grabbing a fistful of your hair and lifting your head.

"Yes... yes I heard you" you blurted out between moans. You couldn't say no, you didn't want to.

He continues his onslaught, more violent than the previous ones, expanding your walls, opening you wide for him, throwing your head back in an avid attempt to enjoy every nook and cranny of your loins. It feels as if it's going to pierce you at any moment, hammering against your spot abruptly, relentlessly.

You turn your head to look at him in the mirror, head back, eyes closed and lips parted, letting out low moans. His arms, muscles tense as his hands hold your hips, holding you in place. His hips move deftly, forcefully, he knows how to align himself perfectly before entering you again.

And you, your back is arched perfectly, your ass vibrates with each thrust and your breasts jiggle in frenzy from the onslaught of his cock. Your cheeks are pink, your lips swollen, your forehead sweaty.

"So good" you hear Loid, who leaves his hand on the back of your neck, returning to your starting position.

You reach your second orgasm without even recovering from the first, and Loid cums inside you soon after.

"I like that you have stamina," he says, turning your body around without coming out of you, his movements continuing, resuming the frantic rhythm of a few seconds ago.

You don't have stamina, fuck no, of course not. But there's not much you can do when your hands are tied and held down by a burly man taller than you. You tell him you can't take it anymore, you feel like you're going to pass out, but fuck, how good it feels when he caresses your waist while he fucks you in that position.

He hides his face in your neck, strokes your hair, frames your cheek with his hand. Untie your hands without looking, and you finally feel free enough to anchor yourself to his back, marking his skin with your nails and playing with his hair.

Loid's favorite position is missionary, because he can smell you as he penetrates you, because he has access to you in every possible way, because he intertwines his hands with yours above your head and whispers that he loves you, over and over and over again.

"Say my name," he whispers, his voice drowned out by your shoulder, "say my name, please.

"Loid," you whisper again and again as you wrap your legs around his waist and your hands find comfort in his.

He kisses you, kisses you as if he had never kissed you before, as if with one kiss he could suck your soul and keep you in his chest forever. With this kiss, he tears away all your doubts and strengthens the promise of a life together with you.

He will not leave you, he tells you fervently, he swears on his life that he will never leave you, that he will put a child in you and that he will not leave this family.

"I hope you will accept me as I am," he whispers.

"Oh, Loid," you smile as you cling to him in an embrace, your legs feeling your third orgasm approaching,

"Loid~ I love you...".

There are no words to describe this night, it has drained you of all your energy, you feel almost sick, weak and completely out of control.Loid hugs you to his chest and covers you with the sheets, leaving a kiss on your forehead and whispers how well you took it.

"Loid..." you whisper.

"Yes?"

"You don't have to ask me to accept you...I love you in every possible way. If this is your way of telling me that I need to get to know you better, I am ready to do so. If I discover another phase of you, as I did today, I will be more than happy to do so," you look at him smiling, "I have noticed that you have many faces that I don't know, Loid Forger.

Loid Forger, he thinks, the man of a thousand faces... doesn't sound bad.

He knows he'll have to tell you about his mission someday, but now is not the time, not after he's shed his facade and shown you an authentic side of himself. Even though he knows you'll understand, he doesn't want to risk everything, at least not yet... later, when you know Twilight better, he can tell you everything... and stay with you. ....

#spy x family loid #loid x reader #loid smut #loid forger x reader #loid forger smut #sxf loid #spy family #loid sxf #loid forger

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yumeka-sxf · 4 months

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Becky's homewrecking is one of my most favorite stand-alone chapters...and the anime version did not disappoint!

Everyone's reactions to Becky's hilarious delusions are just so perfect - Loid being baffled and totally clueless, Yor being flustered and completely misinterpreting things, while Anya just observes it all with quiet amusement.

Plus the scenes of Anya imagining Becky as her mom, and even the short sequence of showing Becky her house - gah, everything about this chapter/episode is peak SxF comedy~

Becky completely ignoring Bond...poor pup 😂

If Loid thinks he doesn't understand children based on Anya, Becky certainly did not help! (also Bond in the corner still feeling rejected)

Yor's "encounter" with the car worked much better in the anime 🤣

I honestly feel really bad for the driver!

Also this poor guy, lol. Though I'm sure the money Becky gave him was more than enough to cover repairs on the machine 🤣

I know some people found this chapter uncomfortable, but I don't get why. If Loid reciprocated Becky's feelings, then yes, that would be bad, but he doesn't. He reacts how anyone would if some delusional little kid decided they had a crush on you - by being confused (and hoping that your wife doesn't interpret it wrong!)

It's not unusual for little kids, especially little girls, to develop silly, fleeting infatuations with adults (I'm guilty of that myself when I was Becky's age, lol).

Anya's willingness (at first) to go along with Becky's delusions was fitting - she idolizes Becky's lavish lifestyle, especially the food (and since Yor's food is, well...) Plus someone at her impressionable young age can be swayed easily. But I'm sure if somehow this delusion became a reality, she'd realize that Yor is the best Mama and Becky should just be "best friend" 😅

This chapter also confirms that Yor didn't completely forget everything that happened after the bar incident. Or at least she remembered it more clearly after Loid supposedly had the conversation with her again, lol. Just shows how important his compliments are to her.

I love how the episode's key visual is a throwback to the one from episode 6! I hope we get to see more Yor/Becky interactions again.

We also got a short anime-original story featuring Fiona. Everyone was expecting chapter 60 to be adapted, but I'm kinda glad it wasn't since it and the Becky chapter seem a bit too long to share the same episode. Not a whole lot to say about this segment other than I liked how Fiona's actions mirrored the Forgers' activities on their vacation. We also got to see more of her "training" in the woods that was hinted at after her tennis match with Yor.

I liked this bear hitching a ride.

And omg, foreshadowing for chapter 67!

And it seems like the final episode of the season will adapt the 2-part story of Loid and Bond's fire rescue. I know there's a scene of Fiona in the next mission preview, but it's likely from a quick anime-only scene while the rest of the episode will adapt the two parts of chapter 62. The big indicator that this will be the only story adapted is that the next episode only has one title, "Part of the Family."

Can't believe we're just one week away from the final season 2 episode AND the CODE: White movie! Later today there's going to be a Jump Festa panel about SxF so I'm hoping there will be a season 3 announcement - stay tuned!

#spy family #spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #becky blackbell #sxf anime #fiona frost

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unfinshedsentec · 2 years

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WHEN THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU❕

a/n: I’m simping for the whole spy x family cast….so here’s this <3

reader is gender neutral

characters: loid, yor, and yuri!

tw: cursing?

Loid

Loid is the type of person who when he has a crush, he just consistently tells himself that it’s nothing and that he’ll get over it.

In his mind, he can’t have a crush, not with his job. So, even if he does recognize that he has any type crush on you, you better bet your ass that he will do his best to pretend it’s not there.

Seriously he will do everything in his power to stay away from you. He’ll try his best to bury his feelings as deep down as he can, and just pretended you aren’t a person…partly because he believes he shouldn’t love anyone, but also so he can protect you.

That’s right, THE Loid Forger tries to do everything in his power to prevent enemies finding you.

Sure, he knows you can protect yourself just fine, but he still doesn’t want to take any risks. He just can’t stand the idea of you disappearing.

Yes, he purposefully avoids you, but your presence itself is something so comforting to him that he can’t imagine it not being there.

What can I say, the guy really likes you!

Of course, he still tries to deny his crush even when he finds himself smiling and blushing at seeing your smile.

Even when he finds himself lovingly staring at you and taking your beauty, he denies it. Hell, when Franky blatantly pointed out he has a crush on you, he yelled and said no. Even Anya looked at him dead in the eye and told him to ask you out, and he still said no!

Even YEARS in when he’s clearly and deeply in love with you, he tells himself and everyone else you are nothing but a coworker to him.

Needless to say, you’re not gonna get a confession out of Loid. If you get anything, it’s Franky or Anya telling you “Twilight/Papa loves you”, and then getting knocked out by Loid himself.

You pretty much have to be the person to confess to him and when you do….he’ll hesitantly accept and the proceed to become the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!!

You really lucked out, didn’t you?

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Yor

Yor is absolutely the super shy super flustered type.

She’s not completely sure that she actually has a crush on you, but a lot of times when she’s around you, she’s constantly blushing and stuttering and just…. all over the place.

She finds herself constantly looking at you and your absolute beauty. She thinks everything abut you is perfect, and she can and has spent hours just staring at you, watching you read.

Even better, you can cook, so you can keep her alive.

Yor, in general, has a lot of respect for you too. Not only do you work hard, and deal with a lot of things around the house, but you’re also super kind and are always sure to make time for her as well. And yes, when Yor met you, she only had intentions of a fake relationship, but then she fell for you and when she did, she fell HARD.

It was only after you met Yuri, and you truly got a long with him that Yor fell in love with you.

Although she had no idea how to go about it, Yor definitely knew you were her first love.

She found herself constantly wanting to be around you, and constantly longing to touch you. She desperately wanted real affection from you, but she was just too shy to do anything about your feelings.

So, of course, you had to be the one to confess.

Yor definitely can’t be the one. She’s way to chaotic and inexperienced to do anything properly. IF she were to try and confess, she would without a doubt trip herself up so many times that she’d forget what she was saying. Or she’d be so scared of you finding out she’s an assassin that she’d just overthink it all and completely back down.

Poor Yor :(

Thankfully for her, after 2 years of a fake relationship, you built up the courage to confess to her, and suggested starting a REAL relationship.

Yor was ecstatic, and said yes…..but not before panicking and accidentally kicking you in the face.

Oh well, she still said yes. And now, you have the most beautiful, wonderful girlfriend in the world~

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Yuri

When Yuri has a crush, you know right away.

I mean, he’ll so clearly be in love with you that even if he tried to hide it, everyone in the world would still know. Hell, his coworkers knew since he started putting his favorite pictures of you in his locker.

He’s the type to absolutely spoil the hell out of you, while and before you date. He’ll follow you around like a lost puppy because he just adores you so much. And well, he wants your attention.

Yuri’s always looking at you too. Not in a sexual way, he just thinks you’re so beautiful that he can’t even put it into words. Everything from your eyelashes to the way you walk Yuri is absolutely in love with.

The man truly is head over heels in love with you. Although…he’s scared of putting you in danger.

As much as Yuri loves you and wants to be with you, he’s so scared of accidentally getting you hurt, or worrying about him with his job.

The last thing he wants to do is burden you and make your life even more stressful, so, despite wanting to confess and kiss you so badly, he never did make a move.

Unfortunately, as his feelings grew, and as he watched you from afar, and got to know you more as a friend, Yuri fell for you harder. So much so that he found himself unable to contain his feelings anymore.

In fact, Yuri promptly confessed to you on your birthday.

“I know it’s weird, and I know this might not be the best time, but Y/n L/n, I love you. I really do. I love you more than anything, and I want nothing more than to be with you. So, if you’re comfortable, will you be my s/o?”

Through his entire speech Yuri was so scared, but he pushed through and….

You said yes.

From there you dated and fell in love with Yuri.

He became a great boyfriend who would do anything for you. And although he was strange and needed therapy, you still loved him, and you forever would~

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated <33

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shakespearesdaughters · 7 months

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The Secret History Theories

I’m currently re-reading Donna Tartt’s The Secret History right now and I have several theories but no one to share them with, so I thought I would put them here to see what you all think!

Richard pushed Bunny.

Richard said he hates authors who skip over the grisly parts of their crimes out of shame/embarrassment/guilt but he does it.

He was not only involved in the planning of Bunny’s murder but encouraged it by telling Henry what Bunny told him about the farmers murder knowing that Henry was already thinking about killing him.

While he showed some guilt about the murder afterwards he had no qualms about going through with it and was involved in the planning of it every step of the way.

He had a vested interest in Bunny dying not just to help protect the group but because Bunny knew/implied he knew about Richard’s true background and that he was lying about having money. He would have wanted to keep his secrets. He also wanted to secure his place in the group and what better way to do so than to kill someone.

We don’t know how Bunny died, as Richard purposely skips over this information. The only thing we do know is that Henry walked towards him, Camilla checked to make sure Bunny was dead. But what exactly did Richard do? If Richard didn’t kill Bunny why wouldn’t he tell us how Bunny died?

2. Julian was more involved than Richard either was aware or wanted to admit.

I think he was the person Camilla remembered seeing at the Bacchanal. He and Henry had spoken before the Bacchanal and Julian had told him to do what was necessary.

Henry got the idea to do the Bacchanal from Julian. Henry and Francis both were interested in acquiring the land with Francis wanting to purchase the house and Henry finding the land sacred. Henry is implied to have spent more time with Julian than the others having been to his home and had private conversations.

He also calls Bunny by his nickname for the first time when it came to Bunny’s suicide note which was odd. He said he knew or was able to predict what his students were doing and with how close he was to Henry there’s no way he didn’t know what they were up to. Which is probably why he had to leave and did leave so quickly.

3. Richard was the author of Bunny’s suicide note as a confession. He spent a lot of time with Bunny and with Henry. He could have gotten the paper from either of them. The typewriter was in the study room for anyone to use.

Richard was an excellent student and could have written the note convincingly enough to sound like Bunny. It gives him the perfect out in the murder of the farmer because he’s not named once in them and it implicates the group especially Henry. Which could be Richards payback against Henry implicating him to the FBI. Also it’s the only way for Richard to confess just like he is confessing to us with the book for his guilt without having to actually atone for anything.

Richard also flip flops between insisting that Bunny was the author to it being possibly someone else. We also don’t know when the letter was dropped off because Julian doesn’t mention it. But from the way he was acting when he spoke to Richard and Francis and why he initially took it as a joke/brushed it off before speaking with Henry one could infer it was delivered after Bunny’s death.

4. Charles is the only other person who could have written the note because he was also close to Bunny and Richard notes he is an expert forger and the letter is one big middle finger to Henry and the only other person who had a reason to hate/implicate Henry as revenge besides Richard would be Charles.

5. Francis is a predator who was possibly abusing Charles and no one in the group seemed to care. He also tried to have sex/ SA Richard and foreshadowed doing it when he said “if you drank as much as he(Charles) does, I daresay I would have been in bed with you, too.”

6. A catamount killed the farmer, Henry lied about it so he could manipulate the group and to murder bunny.

There’s several hints about it being a big cat from Charles bite, to the way the body was found I mean how on earth did they rip open the stomach of a grown man and mutilate him without any weapons? They even go the catamount inn.

There would be something so deliciously ironic and really fulfill the themes of it being a Greek tragedy if it had all been a wild animal and Bunny was killed for nothing.

7. I think Richard was there at the Bacchanal and it was one of the many things he omitted.

He is a self professed liar, an excellent one at that. He has no problem going where he’s not supposed to as we saw him entering the room and calling the number to find out about the plane tickets Henry purchased. He was following the group around. It wouldn’t be a hard stretch that he followed them to the woods and saw the bacchanal/orgy.

He would have been upset he wasn’t invited because of his socioeconomic background. And upset that Bunny was invited over him.

Camilla thought she saw another person there. Henry thought he saw Dionysus there. Though it could have been Julian it could have also been Richard.

He admits he omits things and considered lying about Julian, he romanticizes Henry despite the murder, he easily went along with the murder of Bunny and has a thought of attacking and SAing Camilla and there is an implication he WAS lying about something very important. Which leads up to question what did he lie about?

He is not as horrified or concerned like a normal person would be when hearing your new friends just committed a brutal ritualistic murder. I think he was there, either as voyeur/bystander or he actually participated and was afraid Bunny might know or would find out which is why he goes along with it.

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fuxuannie · 10 months

Text

╭₊˚ ๑︰love at first garlic bagel :)

:★: relationship : loid forger x baker!g-neutral reader

:★: warnings : none, fluff

:★: a/n : rereererr loid my little wheueeuehehehe (sorry not atsv/hsr post) i wrote this at 11pm so if the pacing doesnt make sense i was cery bery sleepy ok 😔

LOID sighs as he trudges past the small stores, feeling exhausted with a sleeping Anya in one arm and a bag of groceries in the other. It's been a.. very interesting first day for a mission.

Suddenly, the comforting scent of a bakery enters his nose and he melts. "I need to go home.. but a snack won't hurt, no?" He mumbles to himself, already at the front as he pushes the glass doors with his back.

"Uncle! Someones coming in!"

His head turns to what seems to be a worker approaching him, helping him with the door as he mumbles a thanks. "Would you like some help with your paperbags?" You asked him with a smile, seeing his busy hands.

As you spoke, Loid's tired and clouded mind had now felt.. clear. Your warm smile and welcoming manner was kind of what he needed at the moment and so he immediately fixes himself with a forced cough. "It's alright, thank you." He answers, thanking you quietly while placing them on a nearby table and Anya onto the seat.

You nod your head at his answer and walk back to the counter, judging by the surroundings alone Loid could tell it was one of those in and out bakeries that you get a quick snack in and leave.

The spy watched as you rushed back to the counter, is such an establishment only run by two people hence you calling for your uncle when he walked in? "What would you like, sir?"

After a few minutes of small chat, he settles on a garlic bagel to take home. You happily jot that down on a paper, "Give us a minute!" You tell him, calling for your uncle all the while rushing to the back and waving the paper in the air. "The new guy wants a bagel! Let's get this finished so we can watch the new movie later!"

Loid doesn't know why he watches you and your Uncle make something as simple as a bagel. It's not anything interesting, it won't take long and it's certainly not gonna help with his mission.. but it's your laughter that keeps him in a trance. The way you knead the dough with care, your giggles as your uncle playfully nudged you during the process and the surprise when you looked back at him all of a sudden.

You smile a little awkwardly before turning away in what seems to be fluster, the laughter of your uncle didn't make it any better.

It wasn't long till the bagel was finished while you walk back up to the counter, as bright as ever as you slide it over to him. "It's uh.. it's on the house."

"Oh, no please let me pay." He chuckles, pulling out his wallet as you profusely shook your head. "Nono. Take it." You insist further, pushing his money away.

Loid blinked a few times before smiling warmly, not even realizing it wasn't one he forged or faked it was just.. him. "Thank you."

As he grabbed the small snack; "Wait!" You suddenly make a little gasp and rush to the back before running back with some tissue in hand. "For you."

"What a kind person. Clearly cares for their customers."

Loid said his thanks, and it was getting late. He smiles at you one last time before he turns to an already awake Anya, kicking her legs under the table as he sighs. "Did I keep you waiting?" And the little girl shook her head.

You watch as he leaves, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "What a handsome man.." A dreamy sigh escapes your lips, looking down at the open pen in your hand before back at the door.

The spy was no idiot, he was a little too eager to see the number written onto the tissue you hand to him. He smiles fondly and keeps it carefully folded in his coat pockets. "I think I've found the perfect fit."

#˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ bailu's candy stash #loid forger x reader #loid x reader #loid headcanons #loid x you #loid forger x you #sxf x reader #sxf x you

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thequietkid-moonie · 9 months

Note

Ok but: Estúpido Cupido (written by Celly Campello, don't mistake it for her album although it has really great songs as well) with Loid

Fake dating a unpredictable and carefree reader

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Loid Forger ]

[ Spy x Family ]

› Song that inspired this [ Estúpido Cupido - Celly Campello ]

× In this fic you take Yor's place

I really liked the song, I really loved the rhythm, I almost start dancing 🤭 I read the lyrics before hearing the song and it fits really well the rhythm!!

Well my dear, I hope you like this as much as I did ❤️ (i hope I don't disappoint you with the idea I had)

One day you were just walking down the streets as usual when you end up bumping into a handsome gentleman, he was so kind and polite and you couldn't stop yourself and end up talking to him more than you thought, even getting the opportunity to meet his little daughter, who looks at you curiosily but doesn't leave her father's side

In one moment of the conversation the man asked you if you could be so kind to do him a favor and impersonate his spouse, embarrassed but determinanted explaining that the last wish of his deceased wife was to give the best education to her beloved daughter on Eden Academy but he won't be able to do it if he was all alone, maybe was because of how endearing was his determinantion or maybe it was just pity, but for whatever reason you accepted helping him with this (also, it could help you cover up your terrible love life)

That way you two started living together, playing the role of a beautiful and happy marriage couple, however non of you would guess what it will become your life together. As well, both of you had to get used to each other in little time, at least enough until the interview with the directors of the school came

For you it was funny all the preparation Loid wanted to have for the interview, making a lot of efforts for this to work and you couldn't help but laugh at his plan, he was thinking that you probably weren't taking this seriously and that he will have to carry it from the most part himself but you truly surprised him when in the interview you remember most of the things he had told you and even tried to help Anya when she forgot, he even can see how irritated you were by one of the men that were being specially pushy with you but you tried to keep the facade

After the interview, once in house the atmosphere was very tense but you break the silence finally expressing how disgusting and irritating that bitter man was and started saying that you were sure that Anya would be able to enter on that school even if you have to force it, it was obvious that you were just trying to cheer them up, what started to work, specially with Anya, and Loid can't help but smile at your attitude

From that day his life become a pretty messy caos full of surprises, Loid was used to adapt to all the situation and act conform to them but your carefree and sometimes cheerful attitude was something that always manage to surprised him, it was something that stressed him at first not knowing how to handle it but as the time pass he just started to learn to follow your lead and even trust you more (and yet you always manage to surprise him sometimes)

He get used to you doing what you want or saying what is on your mind without worring much but that doesn't stop him from worring and getting taken aback, like that time when you spent some time looking at him pretty wary, he was troubled thinking if he had done something suspicious or make you doubt him until you finally tell him what was in your mind, out of the blue without any kind of warning you just tell him that he was too perfect like if it was something bad, you were even wondering how the hell he was single before meeting him, he was dumbfounded but before he could say anything you clarified that you weren't complaining with a smile before going away without giving him the chance to say something

Loid is constantly wondering what you will do next, he doesn't really know what to expect when you had suprised him with all kind of things, with compliments out of the blue (ones that related to his person and not like the spy, ones that he isn't used to), with being more perceptive that he thought before or even just taking things like normal and don't make a big deal out of them (even when he had thought on a million of excuses to explain himself), there are some times when you ask him if you two shouldn't being doing things that couples normally do like dates and other times you just become affectionate out of the blue (like taking his hand so casually)

Coming home to see you and Anya becomes almost like a playful what to guess what he would find, some days he find you doing chores or even making dinner, other days he had came home to see you and Anya playing to be spies around the house, others days you are just passing a more calm time with Anya on the couch, and yet not matter what he find he is never disappointed

After a while Loid start to feel expectant of what little adventures he will have with you and Anya, he start to feel excited even over the days the three of you just have time to relax and yet Loid doesn't allow himself to admit it, he always repeat to himself that is for the mission and that he has to be ready to whatever you will do, he can't let himself get surprised by you, but as much as he tries to prepare himself and be ready so you don't surprise him you always manage to find ways to do it, you can easily flustered him or make him feel so comfortable and relaxed that he just forget for a moment about the mission

Loid tried to deny it and tell himself that this is all for the mission but deep down he is always happy to see you, his heart beat faster with amusment every time you surprised him, and he will never accept it out loud but almost every time he smiles at you and Anya his smiles is sincere and full of love

#music prompt game #spy x family x reader #sxf x reader #loid forger #loid forger x reader #loid x reader #x reader #x gn reader #anime x reader #manga x reader

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lady-charinette · 1 year

Text

AU where Twilight gets replaced with a different guy after he leaves Operation Strix and he sees how the new guy doesn't treat Yor and Anya as they deserve to be treated.

He isn't rude to them or anything, but he acts incredibly detached and treats them the way a hardened agent would: like assets to a mission and nothing else. He's strict about Anya's schoolwork, but doesn't help her do her homework like Twilight did.

He gives firm orders to Yor to clean the house better, learnt to cook better bc that's whats "expected" of normal civilian women. He asks her to limit the time she spends socializing, asks her stuff like playing good hostess when company is over and that she doesn't sit with the men at the same table but stays in the kitchen...etc. He occasionally walks Bond, but delegates that task mostly to Yor. He trains Bond excessively too, the poor dog is exhausted many times.

Yor, Anya and Bond are miserable.

When Loid sees this (bc he's spying on them duh), he gathers evidence and goes to Handler to report the spy for not properly carrying out his mission and endangering the assets in the mission.

Sylvia points out the spy IS doing his job correctly, he follows the rules to a 'T'. He acts like a typical family man outside but he's professional detached at home where people can't see them.

And Twilight realizes that it was HIM who hadn't quite been following the rules as he should have.

He didn't HAVE to buy Anya all the toys she has, he didn't HAVE to buy Yor new clothes that flatter her. He didn't HAVE to walk and play with Bond. He didn't HAVE to cook every meal to perfection, he wasn't expected to by society's standards. He didnt HAVE to help Yor make friends or Anya with her schoolwork.

He didn't HAVE to care.

But he did.

The old spy is called back to HQ. Yor and Anya don't know whats going on, Anya only knows a different guy is supposed to come, but she didn't want someone else, she wanted her papa back. Bond seemed oddly calm given the circumstances.

The next day, the door to the Briar house opens again.

Yor and Anya brace themselves for the new, unfamiliar face to greet them.

Until a warm, very familiar face greeted them instead.

"L-Loid!"

"Papa!"

Both Yor and Anya catapult themselves from their spots, tackling Twilight in a bear hug. Bond completed the pile by falling onto everyone and slapping Loid's leg with his wagging tail.

Loid laughed, cradling Yor's back with one hand and rubbing Anya's head with the other one affectionately.

"Loid, does this mean-...?" Yor's eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"-...you'll stay?!" Anya cried out, fats tears already rolling down her cheeks.

Loid chuckled, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. His gaze uncharacteristically soft. "As long as you'll have me."

Bonus:

"Good work, Sylvia." The HQ boss greeted the woman, still donning her disguise.

"Thank you, sir." Sylvia ripped the mask off, the face of the spy that replaced Twilight as head of the Forger family laying in tatters on the ground.

Both Sylvia and her superior glanced at a picture of the reunited, happy family (covertly taken by one of their agents in the field) and smiled.

#spy x family #loid forger #yor forger #sxf #anya forger #bond forger #forger family #sxf au #spy family #my fic #my fics

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aerequets · 2 years

Text

anya's big little sibling conundrum

posted on ao3

summary: Anya is excited about the fact that she's going to be an older sibling, until George spins a different tale. Now she can't stop fearing the worst. Luckily, she has friends and parents to remind her that she isn't going anywhere.

a/n: it's common for only children to get jealous when a new kid is on the way. although this isn't exactly anya being jealous, it's more like her being insecure. i think she would be, since she's been returned four times already (😔) but luckily she has GOOD PARENTS to remind her that that's never happening 😤 also hopefully the kids sound like kids but like idk how 7-8 year olds speak so we'll just have to deal with it ig LMAO

also just a few things:

-this is set 2 years later, so the kids at eden are 8 (anya is 7) -loid and yor are together-together; they told each other about their secret occupations, but not anya yet, because she's really young. (obvs she already knows though)

Anya was going to be an older sister.

It was a fact she’d been announcing around school ever since she’d found out. Or, more accurately, ever since her parents had decided to tell her last week. It would be bad if she was announcing Mama’s pregnancy without ever having been told. Despite the fact that a lot of the kids at school were rich and snooty and laughed at her for doing ‘commoner’ things, a younger sibling was something many of them didn’t have—and something that money couldn’t buy. Sometimes classmates she hardly talked to would come up to her and ask about it.

Anya couldn’t lie—she was relishing in the attention a little bit.

Becky had been thrilled, then devastated for a brief spell (“My Loid”, she’d sobbed), but ultimately she was almost as happy as Anya. “I’m a little jealous,” she admitted. “I’d love to have a little baby sister I could dress up. We have to go shopping for clothes.”

“We don’t know if I’ll have a sister or a brother,” Anya pointed out. Becky blinked, as if it hadn’t even occurred to her that the baby might be a boy.

“We can still go shopping,” she contended. “All baby clothes are cute! There’s gotta be gender-neutral clothes too.” She went on to detail the ways in which infant fashion was, in fact, a great industry with much to offer.

Anya hummed along, but truthfully, her mind wasn’t on clothes. She was thinking of all the cool games she’d play with her sibling. They could be an agent recruit in her spy game! She’d show them cool things like silenced-pistols and hideout spots in their home. They’d share peanuts and watch Spy Wars together. And, of course, Anya would have someone to regale with the tales of her super-cool heroic deeds.

Anya snapped back to attention when Becky’s voice turned sour. “Ugh, not them again.”

She didn’t have to look at the approaching posse to see who Becky was referring to. Even though they were in year 3 now—much older, cooler, and more mature in Becky’s own words—Anya hadn’t gotten much closer to Damian. They fought less, but they also weren’t on house-visiting level yet. It was more like a truce than a friendship, but hey. She hadn’t punched him in two whole years. That had to count for something.

“Look who it is.” Ewen was the first one to speak up, a smirk pulling at his face. “Forger and Blackbell. I bet you two were talking about something stupid, like always.”

“We were actually talking about baby clothes,” Becky shot back. It had been more of a one-sided conversation, but Anya didn’t mention that. “Since Anya is gonna be a big sister.”

“We know, you’ve only told us a bajillion times,” Emile said, rolling his eyes. “Big deal.”

“Damian’s big brother is perfect. That’s why Damian is perfect too,” Ewen added, gesturing to the boy standing in the middle of their trio. Damian stayed silent and impassive while Ewen went on. “You better clean up your act or you’ll screw up the kid before they even enter school.”

“I’m gonna be a great big sister,” Anya retorted. “I’ll play with them all the time and share my toys and candy. And give them important life or death advice!”

Emile tsked. “I feel bad for the poor child already. Right, Damian?”

Damian looked haughty as ever, fists stuffed in his pant pockets, but he didn’t agree right away. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Demetrius had done that stuff with me, he thought. Anya’s eyes widened.

“What’re you looking at?” Was what came out of his mouth instead when he caught Anya staring. “Sheesh. The first thing you should teach the kid is that staring all bug-eyed is creepy.”

With that, the trio sauntered off, leaving behind a disgusted Becky and a shocked Anya. Bug-eyed?!

“Whatever, don’t mind them,” Becky huffed. “I know you’ll be a great sister.”

“Thanks,” Anya said warmly. Sometimes she thought about how lucky she was to have Becky as a friend. At that moment, George walked by, stopping when he saw them.

“I heard about your baby sibling,” he said. Anya puffed up.

“Yep, I’m gonna be a—”

“I’m sorry,” George sighed. Anya froze mid-sentence.

“Huh? What for?”

“What? You don’t know?” George turned his face up to the sky and, at that moment, a breeze ruffled by, exemplifying the melancholy expression on his face. “Why…your life as you know it is about to end.”

“WHAT?!” Anya hadn’t heard about anything like that. Was the baby going to kill her once it came?! But surely she’d win, right? She’d done Mama’s special training. But—no, wait. Anya balked. The baby was inside Mama. Did that mean it had her strength, too?! Anya’s head spun as she imagined a swole baby. She might just lose her life.

“Stop talking nonsense,” Becky snapped, dragging Anya out of her reverie. “What do you mean, her life will end?”

“You wouldn’t know, since you’re an only child,” George replied. “But I do. I got a baby sister last year.”

They’d heard about it. George, normally gloomy and sighing about his lack of a social life, had actually been excited and chatty leading up to the birth of his sister, just like Anya was now. “We know,” Becky said. “Congratula—”

“Don’t congratulate me!” George screeched, suddenly all up in their faces. Becky yelped and leapt back. “I was just like you. A fool, a clown, prancing around—” Anya took great offense to that. “—telling anyone that would listen that I was gonna be an older sibling. But do you know what being an older sibling entails?”

It was silent for a few seconds before Anya realized George’s question wasn’t rhetorical. “Um, no?”

“You become second place.” The fire that had lit in George suddenly died as he wilted, shoulders slouching. “Suddenly there’s an adorable baby. Who’s gonna pay attention to you when there’s the baby? Tell me, are there things you like to do with your parents?”

“Yeah!” The list was too long to fully recite, but Anya still prattled off, “Having teatime, playing spy, going to the park with Bond, doing picnics, watching Mama beat up bad guys, going in the secret doors in Papa’s office—”

“Get ready to give all that up,” George interrupted decisively. “Because there won’t be any time for that stuff anymore. It’s either gonna be feeding the baby, or changing the baby’s diaper, or putting the baby to sleep, or playing with the baby. No room for you in there.”

Anya’s jaw slackened in horror. Could it be true? She didn’t want to believe that her life with Mama and Papa would change like that. But… Her heart seized. But I’m adopted. Even Mama knew that fact now, ever since she and Papa had come clean to each other about everything (not that they knew that Anya knew). What if they liked the baby more, since it was actually theirs? What if they decided they didn’t need Anya anymore? Realistically, she knew her Mama and Papa would never do that. But anxiety was rolling through her stomach. They’d already started telling her that with the baby, a lot of big changes would come.

Was one of the changes going to be Anya becoming an outsider?

“Stop scaring her!” Becky scolded, looping a protective arm through Anya’s. “You’re such a downer, George.” With that barb, she dragged Anya away, muttering all the while about how stupid George didn’t know what he was talking about. “That’s not going to happen to you,” she told Anya, impassioned. “For one, my Loid does not discriminate. He’s not going to act all cold towards you just because there’s another kid. And Master Yor has a heart as open as the wide sea! She’s got enough space for a million kids, let alone just two.”

Even though Becky calling her parents “my Loid” and “Master Yor” still weirded her out, Anya was comforted by her best friend’s reassurance. Becky was right: Papa was the most just, level-headed person in the world. And Mama’s heart was the only thing as big and strong as her muscles. She felt her heart lighten up a little as relief filled her core. Everything was going to be fine.

Or so she thought, until she reached home later that day.

When she opened the door, she was met with the sight of Franky lounging on the sofa.

“Scruffy?” Anya asked as her Papa was entering the room. “Why are you here?”

“That’s exactly what I said,” he sniffed. He sounded discontent, although he looked awfully comfortable with a cup of coffee and a plate of snacks spread out before him. He turned to Loid. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not a babysitter?!”

Loid ignored Franky and turned to Anya. He was pulling on his suit-jacket, the one he wore when going out. “Hey there. How was school?”

“Meh. It was the same as usual. But…” Anya considered asking him about what George had said, but decided against it. It was stupid, and Papa was about to leave anyways. ”Where are you going?”

“I’m picking up Yor from work early so we can go to the hospital,” he explained. “The doctor is going to check up on the baby’s growth.”

“Whoa. Can I come?”

Loud chuckled. “Unfortunately, it’s not exactly a thing you can bring a child to. It’s more between the parents, the doctor and the baby.” Anya felt a sting at that sentence. “Which is why Franky here generously offered to stay with you, as he often does.” Franky scoffed.

“Oh… um…” Anya floundered. “Can you help me with my math homework before dinner?”

Loid’s eyes widened. “You want to work on math?” When Anya nodded, a proud look crossed his face, one that Anya relished in. But the good feeling quickly dissipated when Loid sighed regretfully. “It might take some time at the hospital. We’re planning to be back by dinner. I’ll help you afterwards if there’s time.”

“Oh.” Anya swallowed dryly. She’d never been disappointed to not do math before. “Okay. Bye, Papa.”

He knelt down to hug her. He’d been doing that more often lately. Will he stop once the baby comes? Anya wondered. “Goodbye Anya,” he said, turning around to pin Franky with a stare. “Make sure you behave yourself.”

“Hey, why does it feel like you’re saying that to me?”

Loid got up, put his hat on, and departed with one final wave, leaving Anya and Franky in the living room.

“You know, I could help you with math too,” Franky said. “I’m a bit of an engineering genius myself.” Anya must not have done a good job of masking her unimpressed-ness, because Franky sat up straight with an incredibly offended look. “What’s that expression?! I’m offering to help you out here!”

“Why would I want to do math?” Anya asked. She decided to bum around in her room with Bond until her parents got back and left, leaving a flabbergasted Franky behind.

A few hours later, Anya heard the front door opening and rushed out of her room. “Mama! Papa! You’re back!”

“Hello, Anya!” Yor opened her arms and swept Anya into a tight hug. She noticed Franky in the living room and smiled at him. “Hello, Franky. Was everything alright?”

“Hey, Yor. Yeah, everything was fine.” As gruff as Franky was with Loid, he’d taken to being extra nice with Yor ever since he found out about her pregnancy. He said it was because he wasn’t going to risk his neck by invoking her (or Loid’s) wrath, but Anya had read his mind. He was excited about meeting the baby in the future. It was a fact that had made Anya laugh before, but now her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Would even Franky be forgetting about her in lieu of the baby?

“How’s the baby coming along?” Franky asked.

Yor and Loid exchanged a smile. “The fetus is about seven centimeters long now,” Yor said. “And the heartbeat is going strong.”

“How big is seven centimeters?” Anya asked. Loid thought for a few seconds before gesturing to her hand.

“It’s roughly the size of your fist,” he said. Anya clenched her hand and held it up. The baby was awfully small.

“Hmm. That’s good.” Franky’s stiff words were offset by the growing grin on his face. “Hey, now is the time to start thinking about names, isn’t it? I propose Franklin Junior. Very distinguished.”

Loid’s lip curled up in disgust while Yor laughed. “What if it’s a girl?”

“Frankette. Frankina. There’s lots of options.”

“Shouldn’t you get going?” Loid asked. Clearly he wasn’t going to risk the chances of Yor actually liking Franky’s suggestions. “It’s getting late.”

“Wow. You’ll have me over three times a week to babysit but I can’t stay for five minutes on my own?”

“You could join us for dinner,” Yor offered. Franky’s scowl eased into a smile as he turned to her.

“Nah, I was just kidding. Besides, I have got a hot date tonight.” He gathered up his things and patted Anya’s head. “Bye, kid. Enjoy your dinner. And I’m raising my rates for babysitting from here on out!” With that, he slammed the door shut. Loid rolled his eyes.

“Always a handful,” he grumbled. His face melted into a warm smile as he turned to Yor, though. He’d started doing that even before they had told each other their secrets. “I made roasted vegetables earlier today. Do you think you can eat some of that?”

Yor nodded, resting a hand on her stomach. She was only a little over 3 months along, so her coat still covered the small bump. Papa said the bump would get bigger and bigger until it was the size of a watermelon—Anya couldn’t imagine that. “I think those will be good. My body doesn’t reject them as much, at least.” Yor had been suffering morning sickness for the past few weeks. The doctor said it was normal, but Loid still tried finding foods that would make her as less sick as possible.

They sat down to eat dinner. They all talked to each other like usual, but Anya could read their minds and tell that they were thinking about the baby, too.

We could convert the unused bedroom into a nursery, Papa thought. I’ve seen magazines and some parents do themes for the rooms, like nautical, or astronomical. Not to mention, some colors like subtle blues relax the body and mind. Something desaturated and pastel would be best to aid the baby’s comfort and growth to the fullest…

I wonder if we could use Loid’s old bedroom as a nursery, Mama was thinking at the same time. We could do cute decorations for the baby! Like knives… oh, that’s not very child-safe. Some well-contained poisons, then? A couple splashes of red on the wall for color-pop…

Anya shivered. She didn’t really get it—the baby was hardly the size of a tennis ball right now! She couldn’t even read its mind because it didn’t have any thoughts yet. But Mama and Papa were already thinking about its room, and how they would decorate it, and what names would be good if it was a girl or a boy.

George was right. Things had been changing under her nose and she hadn’t even noticed. Where did that leave her now?

“Anya?” She jumped and looked up to see her parents watching her in concern. Yor cocked her head. “Are you alright? You haven’t eaten much.”

“I…” She hesitated. She didn’t want to complain and sound like an immature little kid—after all, she was eight now (technically seven, but that was irrelevant)—and put them off. She would have to ask George what to do at school tomorrow.

“I don’t like carrots,” she said instead, pushing them aside on her plate.

“You should eat them,” Loid chided. “Carrots are good for you.”

“I think your little sibling may like them, too,” Yor said, a faint note of surprise in her voice as she had another piece. She hummed as if it were gourmet steak. “Oh! That’s good.” Anya wrinkled her nose. Of course the baby liked carrots.

“Are we looking at a carrot craving?” Loid asked teasingly. “I have to say, it’s better than olives dipped in jam.”

“That was just for a couple days,” Yor said, cheeks stuffed with carrots and reddening. “Don’t bash it till you try it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied, leaning his chin on his hands. Anya could detect the sappiness entering their voices (and minds) and quickly shoveled the rest of her potatoes into her mouth. “Mmkay I’ma go now!”

She had to figure out what to do, and quickly.

…

The next day at school, Anya spent lunch break looking for George. She didn’t think it would be hard before, but she’d neglected to remember that 1) Eden’s campus was massive, 2) she was tiny and getting around took forever, and 3) George was a recluse, which meant he wasn’t in any of the places she checked first.

Becky, bless her heart, was accompanying Anya on her search. Anya hadn’t told her why she wanted to meet with George, but after a while Becky frowned.

“Hey, you aren’t still bothered by what he said yesterday, right?”

Anya froze in the middle of checking underneath a rock. Could Becky read minds too?! “Uhh… nooo?”

Becky sighed. “I knew his words would bother you. He’s not right, you know.”

“You don’t get it!” Anya burst out. “I didn’t notice before, but the baby is all Mama and Papa think about. We don’t do stuff like before now. I even asked Papa to help me with math—which he loooves when I do—but there wasn’t time for even that! What if they already like the baby more than me?”

“Of course things are going to be different now that there’s a baby. That’s not a bad thing,” Becky soothed. “And they’re not gonna like the baby more. You’re their child, too!”

But I’m adopted. Anya bit her tongue. Nobody else knew that except for their family. Nobody else knew that Anya had been returned four times already because those other parents hadn’t liked her enough. She couldn’t lose this life she had now to the same thing. The very thought of it brought tears to her eyes.

“Oh, Anya!” Becky rushed forward, handkerchief already in hand. “Don’t cry…!”

“Ugh. I’ve seen enough of this,” a far-off voice muttered. The girls turned to see Damian stomping out from behind a pillar, looking incensed, with Ewen and Emile trailing close behind.

“Damian?” Becky was aghast. “Were you stalking us?”

“N-NO!” He yelled. “I just saw you two—running around looking for—and—ARGH!” He facepalmed. “Anyways, I just happened to hear what you guys said.”

“So you were stalking and eavesdropping?!”

“That’s not the point!” Damian snapped. He rounded on Anya, one finger outstretched. “You’re being totally stupid!”

“Wuh?” Anya sniffed. She couldn’t recall doing anything to make Damian this mad at her. At least, not yet. “What’s with you?”

“What’s with me? You’re the one taking George’s words seriously and crying about it!” he retorted. “Everyone knows that guy’s a total drama-queen.”

“But-but he was right,” Anya said, voice wobbling. “The baby isn’t even born yet and… and Mama and Papa are already way busier than before.”

“Well, duh! If you’re growing a whole human, then things are gonna change for everyone around you.” Well, when he put it like that, Anya couldn’t even argue back. “You don’t even have to do anything for your parents to love you,” he continued. “And you won’t have to do anything special after the baby is born, either. They’ll love you anyways.” He scuffed the ground with his shoe. “That’s just what your parents are like.”

I’m the youngest kid, and I’m nowhere near the favorite, he thought bitterly. So clearly it’s not a rule for parents to prefer the second kid.

Anya stalled as she watched Damian. His words were relieving in their truth, sharp-tongued as they were, but his thoughts hurt to hear. All of the things she’d been fearing for the past day were things Damian already went through. She really was lucky. Mama always made sure to give her lots of hugs and she always protected her from bad guys. Papa, even when he didn’t show it, was proud of her for the good things she did. They talked to her and laughed with her and took her places. Her Mama and Papa were nothing like Damian’s parents.

She wished his weren’t the way they were, either.

“Sy-on boy…” Anya was considering risking her life and giving him a hug (hugs always made her feel better, after all) when they heard approaching footsteps. All of them turned to see George, timely as ever.

“Ah, Anya!” He waved. “I was looking for you.”

“What? Why?” Becky was in front of Anya in a flash, glowering. “Are you gonna put more trash in her head?”

“Yeah, back off,” Damian said, much to Anya’s surprise. But George held his hands up, placating.

“Actually, I came to tell you I changed my mind about the sibling thing.”

Anya was too confused to even read his mind on this one. “...what?”

“You see, there was this action figure I wanted, but my parents got my sister a doll instead,” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “But they gave it to me today and said it was a surprise. So siblings aren’t really all that bad.”

It was silent. A breeze sent a few leaves twirling by as they all stared at George. Then—united for maybe the first time in all their years at Eden—Anya, Becky, Damian, Emile and Ewen turned around and walked away together.

“Hey, where are you guys going?”

“Total drama queen, like I said,” Damian muttered. At this point their lunch break was almost over. Anya felt a little embarrassed for wasting her (and, inadvertently, everyone else’s) time with such a silly problem. Despite that, though, she felt more relieved than she had been in the past 24 hours. Mama and Papa weren’t going to get rid of her. If Damian could see that, it must be really obvious.

It was when Becky got in a heated argument with Emile and Ewen about tanks that Damian, walking kind-of-next-to Anya but a little too distanced for them to be considered walking together, cleared his throat.

“You should talk to your parents,” he said. “About what you told Becky, I mean. There’s no point in keeping that stuff to yourself.”

Anya tilted her head as she considered him. He was staring at the ground as they walked. She couldn’t figure him out, and his thoughts weren’t clear enough to be of any help. “Why do you care, Sy-on boy?” she asked, out of genuine curiosity rather than as a jab.

His head snapped up at that. Anya could practically (and literally) hear him pushing down the urge to pick a fight. Instead, he gritted his teeth, then sighed. “It’s what I would do,” he admitted, “if I had the chance. You’re lucky.”

She knew that she was lucky. Throwing all caution to the wind, Anya crossed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug.

As far as hugs went, it was pretty awkward. Mostly because he’d gone so rigid that it felt like she was hugging a mannequin. When she pulled back, his face was so red—practically exploding with anger!—that she instantly regretted her actions. Would he put her in jail for touching him? What if she had to spend the rest of her life paying off the debt from touching his rich-person clothes (they all had the same uniform, but still)?! She had to deflect his attention!

“You should come to my house when the baby is born,” she blurted.

He said nothing. When she peeked into his mind, it was empty. How could it be totally empty? Was this what people meant when they said blind with rage?

“Pink tanks are equally as functional, if not more!” Becky’s voice, growing in volume, floated over to her. “Who’s gonna look at a pink tank and expect actual damage? It’s a sneak attack in your face. It’s a Trojan horse! I’m not wasting time on this anymore!” She stomped back to Anya and grabbed her wrist. “Come on. It’s a total mistake to think these idiots could actually hold a good opinion,” she huffed.

Anya heard it when Becky had already dragged her a few paces away from the boys. It was quiet, and could have easily been lost in the surrounding noise, but she heard Damian say it nonetheless.

“Okay.”

…

When Anya got home that day, both Mama and Papa were sitting in the living room. It was a little surprising since she hadn’t seen both of them at the same time this early in the day for a while now. On top of that, it looked like they’d been waiting for her from the way they both got quiet upon her arrival.

“I’m home?” Her statement came out like a question from her confusion. “Is something happening?”

“Why don’t you sit down?” Loid said, angling his head towards the sofa. Warily, Anya approached. She wished Bond was in the room so she could take a peek into the future.

“Uhh…am I in trouble? I swear I didn’t mean to break the green bowl! It was an accident!”

“You’re not in—wait, that was you?” Loid squinted at her. Anya laughed a little too loudly and scrambled onto the sofa.

“So what’s going on?”

Loid relented and traded a look with Yor. Anya could hear snippets of their thoughts, but couldn’t make any sense of them. Talk to her…recently been feeling…developing…killing anyone who dares harm…efficient communication… It probably didn’t help that their wildly different thoughts were jumbling together.

“We’ve noticed that you’re a little down recently,” Yor said. “And we were worried about you.”

Anya felt a pang of guilt at those words. They had worried about her. She almost decided not to tell them what had brought her down because it felt even sillier now, but Damian’s words floated into her head. There’s no point in keeping that stuff to yourself. It’s what I would do if I had the chance. He was right—Anya could bottle it all up and get worried about it again in the future. Or she could confess to her parents and hear what she needed to hear from them.

“Um… well, the thing is…” Anya felt awkward looking at their faces while confessing possibly the most embarrassing thing she’d done this year, so she fidgeted with her fingers in her lap instead. “See, George at school, he got a baby sister last year. And he told me that once a baby is born the first kid gets forgotten about. He said it becomes about the new baby and there’s no time to do fun stuff with your parents anymore. And I kinda remembered how you were always so busy, even though the baby is, like, only as big as my hand right now.” She was rambling, but was met with silence, so she continued. It was actually a little relieving to spill it all out. “So I got scared… because… I’m adopted and I thought once the baby was born you might not want me anymo—”

Anya found herself suddenly yanked into a solid, warm embrace. When she reoriented herself, she realized her Mama had wound her arms around her, one hand on the back of her head. Warm drops plipped onto her head and Anya realized that Mama was crying.

“That will never happen,” she whispered, kissing the top of Anya’s head. “Oh, Anya. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Even more embarrassingly, Anya felt a lump in her throat. “Because it’s stupid. And I know you and Papa wouldn’t do that. But I got scared by what George said anyways.”

A third, warm hand smoothed down her hair. Papa was sitting next to them now. “Your feelings aren’t stupid,” he said softly. “I was thinking about how we might not have properly gotten you used to the idea of having a sibling. But you handled everything so maturely.”

Anya didn’t think freaking out at George’s dramatics and crying in front of her friends was very mature, but Papa’s praise made warmth bloom in her chest anyways. “I was?”

“You were excited about your sibling before anything else.” Yor slightly eased her hold on Anya. The girl leaned back to see both of her parents beaming down at her. “Do you know why this baby is going to be an extremely lucky child?”

“Because they’ll have you and Mama for parents,” she replied, remembering Damian’s words again. You’re lucky.

“And you as a big sister. You’re going to be an exemplary role model, Anya.”

“...I am?” Anya blinked. “Even with my grades… and my bolts?”

“Yes. Because those things don’t make a person.” Papa poked her chest. “You have a big heart, Anya. You do what’s right and you care about the right things, too. I believe the baby will flourish under your guidance.”

“We’ll always love you, Anya,” Yor added. “No matter what. And your little sibling will, too.”

Anya felt like her heart would overflow. Her Mama and Papa couldn’t undo all the times she’d been returned, but for the first time Anya was grateful that she hadn’t stayed with the Levskis, the Williams, the Roches, or anyone else.

Because then she would have never been a Forger.

“I’ll tell you everything from now on,” she promised, voice muffled by Yor’s sweater. “I promise.”

“Good.” They stayed like that for a while, the three of them wrapped up, and at some point Bond woke up from his nap in the other room and came over to join them.

Anya got a fuzzy glimpse of the future from the dog. It looked like she, Mama and Papa were out shopping somewhere, pushing a shopping cart. They were looking at different baby toys.

Anya was excited. She’d make sure to pick out the best toy for the baby.

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lec743-my-art · 4 months

Text

Merry Christmas Secret Santa @primary-visions

The day was coming to an end. The sky was painted with bright oranges, light pinks, and stark purples and indigo, just enough light for the three travelers to see by as they made it to their destination. The town was small but thrived on the travelers that must pass through to reach farther lands. There was a comfy inn called Drunk Rats. There was an obvious sign of forgers and black smith smokestacks further in town, but the three travelers were too tired to truly explore the town further than what they could see. Well, the only human of the group was tired. The two automatons traveling with the human could continue for forever if they so choose, but it was time for the two to check if anything needs oiling or if dust needs to be taken out of gears. Staying at an inn was a great place to check for such things.

“Oh! This place is so cute looking. Do you think I should have my house here?” Soliel asked as he examined the old but sturdy building they were entering. His metal hands touched at the wood gently as he walked with the others.

The inn wasn’t overwhelmingly loud, but it was noisy with low talking as a dwarf bard near the fireplace strummed on her lute. Candle holders caked with the remains of past candles sat against the support beams of the building as the newly lit candles’ lights danced, giving the whole place a soft golden glow.

“You say that about every village or town we walk into,” Hati stated, ribbing his follow automat with playfulness and annoyance.

“There are so many good places to live at!” Soliel said, getting defensive. “I want to live at the perfect place.”

The human companion, the artificer of the group, sighed at their bickering. They left Hati and Soliel to bicker like siblings that have been together for far too long as they approached the owner of the inn at the front desk.

“Hi. Do you have room for the three of us? We’ll just take one room.”

The human woman looked like she was nearing her golden age. Maybe in her fifties if the gray in her blond hair told them anything. The front desk woman had on a very low-cut dress that was brown and blue in color. It looked nice on her. She looked at the artificer and then at their bickering companions behind them. “Are those things yours?”

The human companion sighed in disappointment at that. “They’re my friends.”

There was a pause as the older woman looked at the artificer with one cocked eyebrow. They didn’t elaborate to the woman, so she shrugged then said, “It’ll be two gold pieces per night stay. Do you have any horses or livestock with you?”

“No, it’s just the three of us,” they said as they dug out ten gold pieces. Then they placed them on the counter and the woman took the money and placed a key in its place.

“Your room will be upstairs, on the right, at the end of the hallway.”

“Thank you.”

They went back to their automaton buddies. They overheard them fighting over hypotheticals about how they would handle fighting a bugbear. Hati was proudly saying he’d demolish the bugbear with the perfect strike while Soliel gave him the most leveling look an automaton could give when his face is only a mask of an artistic sun.

“Okay. Let’s go boys. I hear a bath calling my name.”

“Coming,” they both cheered as they followed the artificer up the stairs.

The next day, as the sun rose, Soliel was the first to rise and he went to explore the little town. It was full of people. Mostly humans, as he’s accustomed to seeing, but he has also noticed there’s another thriving population of lizardfolk as well, along with a small, odd population of dwarves, elves and half-orcs. It really did seem like a nice town, with old but well-kept buildings, a flower shop, a sizable food market, two smith shops, a ceramic shop and a stone and wood cutter shop. Soliel circled back to the food market to buy a little snack for his sunshine friend but as he browsed what the food stalls had to offer, he noticed that there really wasn’t much to see. The portions were much too small for what size they should have been, or they were so old that they were starting to rot a bit, which isn’t a good sign.

Soliel looked to the current food stall owner, who’s stall that he was browsing, and it was a young lizardfolk man sitting behind the cart. He was maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. His scales looked dull, and his face looked gaunt, like he hasn’t had a good meal in a while. He was wearing a simple tunic shirt and it hung off him loosely.

“Excuse me my good man.”

The lizardfolk man blinked a bit, like he was taken out of his thoughts and then he turned his snout towards the automaton. He blinked some more before his eyebrow ridges raised higher on his face as he regarded Soliel. “Yes?”

“I was just wondering, is your town coming across hard times recently.” The bardic automaton motioned towards the lizardfolk’s wares for emphases.

The lizardfolk man sighed as he leaned back into his chair. “No. It is not recently. It’s been four years.”

“Oh my! What’s wrong?”

“Look. I don’t have time for your curiosity, stranger. Either buy something or leave.” He didn’t say it with any power. He sounded like a man who’s extremely tired.

# # #

“What do you mean he won’t tell me more! I rolled high on my charisma! I persuaded the heck out of him!” Sun whined to you, the Dungeon Master.

“Look Sun, that’s just all he’s willing to answer. He doesn’t see you as a threat but you’re just an automaton to him. He doesn’t know your backstory, so he doesn’t think you’d understand anything more than what he said.”

Sun slouched in the kitchen chair as he crossed his arms with a huff.

Moon chuckled playfully as he rolled a twenty-sided die between his fingers. “You should have threatened him if you wanted more information.”

Sun sighed, his voice box glitching to give it a gravelly affect. “That’s not the point of my character.”

From across the kitchen table, Moon shrugged with little remorse at him.

�� “So are you going to leave the lizard man alone, Sun,” you asked.

“I’ll buy those carrots and leave,” he said in defeat as he leaned his flat face up to the ceiling in another show of pouting.

You nod and then turn back to Moon. “Okay. What is Hati up to then as this is going on, Moon?”

Moon gave a thoughtful hum as he considered his choices.

# # #

Hati snuck through the gray alleyways of the town in the early morning. Having left his little artificer to sleep alone as soon as Sun left. He was scouting out the town for the richest people he can steal from. Some small part of Hati could practically hear Soliel say how he shouldn’t steal from people or how wrong it is. His long-time friend and assumed brother isn’t wrong, but Hati doesn’t care. He likes the thrill of stealing from the rich and using it for himself to buy whatever he wants. He sometimes even gives what he steals to the poor kids they encounter on their travels and that usually shuts up Soliel.

Eventually he came across a government building that was just starting to wake up. At least that’s what it seemed to Hati from his observations. The automaton snuck into the building through a locked back door. The few people he crossed as he snuck through the government building were some general staff that were talking about how hard it’s been to feed their kids and when they are going to be able to farm properly again. Hati shrugged at that as he continued his way to where he deduced the mayor’s coffers to be.

He narrowly avoided being caught by the mayor’s secretary as he was trying to unlock the door that led to the mayor’s office and therefor to their coffers. The secretary was running out of the office after getting news of some kind. Hati didn’t care for what for, he just wanted money and to get out of there. He inspected the mayor’s office to find it looking drab. Usually, a head of office has a luxurious setting with unnecessary gold-plated items. Hati mentally shrugs at the lack of finery. Relegating it to the town being too small for the mayor to get away with. He found the safe and unlocked it with ease. All that was in the safe was a pouch of thirty silver pieces.

# # #

“Ah! What!” Moon complained over Sun’s laughter.

“That’s all you find Moon,” you repeat.

“Noooo! My character isn’t interested in stealing if it’s not gold. How does a government office not have gold!” Moon ranted.

“Well, obviously this town isn’t doing so well,” Sun stated with smug satisfaction.

Moon could only grouch some more against Sun and you.

“Will you now check to see if there are any papers or documents for why this town is falling on such hard times?” Sun pleaded.

Moon mechanically sighed, then said, “Fine… What do I roll for again DM?”

“Investigation.”

Moon took his twenty-sided die and tossed it on the table. It made little clacking noises before settling. “What does a 12 get me?”

You cleared your throat. “You’ve been in plenty of offices before. You easily spot that there is a locked filing cabinet in the back right corner of the room, behind the mayor’s desk.”

“Alright. Let me just roll for Slight of Hand and unlock this sucker.” Moon rolled his twenty-sided die again. “Yes! An eighteen! So all together that’s a twenty-seven.”

“Tell me again why you chose to be a ranger and not a rouge,” you asked.

“It’s too on the nose,” Moon said with a shrug.

“Sometimes, being on the nose isn’t so bad,” Sun stated.

Moon gave his sunny counterpart the best dead pan look that a robot can when their face is frozen in a permanent smile.

# # #

Hati muttered to himself as he looked through the papers. Documents of the dead. Documents of newborns. Documents of housing. Reports on farms. Hati decided to look through those a bit more closely. From his quick scanning of the texts, Hati found that the town is having a bit of a bear problem. He would have looked more into it now that his curiosity has been piqued, but then he heard someone running down the halls towards the office he was in, and he had to bail out of the nearest window. He initially tried to jump through the window while it was closed, but he wasn’t strong enough to break it and instead had to open it and then jump out the window. He jumped with the grace of an egg falling out of a nest and hurting himself as he landed on the ground. He quickly ran back to The Drunk Rats Inn.

The Artificer was drinking water-down beer for breakfast as it seemed that was all the Inn Keeper and Cook were able to provide as food, when Hati and Soliel came back from their exploring. Hati was walking like his ass was broken and Soliel was holding the sadist bundle of carrots the Artificer has ever seen.

“What have you two been up to?”

“Something is wrong here,” they both said. Then in sync both automatons turned to each other and pointed at each other at the same time, saying, “You too?”

“Slow down. Why don’t you two sit down with me and then tell me what’s going on,” The Artificer stated.

“Uh… Soliel, do you mind giving me a hand?”

The sunshine robot rolled his head as he let out a mechanical sigh. He sat the carrots on the table in front of their human friend then he pulled out his ukulele and sang a little song to heal the broken machinery of Hati’s ass.

“Thank you,” the moon themed robot said cheerfully.

Soliel only grumbled a bit in response as he sat down with him and the Artificer. Hati went first telling the group about what he found, and he rolled his head as they told him how much they disapproved of him trying to steal from people… again. Then Soliel talked about his little romp through town and how lovely it is here but also how everyone doesn’t seem to be all that well fed.

“You think that has anything to do with those bear problem reports you found, Hati,” the Artificer asked.

“I don’t know how a bear or even a group of bears could make things go so wrong around here. I would think the local rangers would have taken them down by now.”

“Maybe they don’t have rangers in this area,” Soliel suggested.

The Artificer stood up and took the carrots with them and said, “Welp, there’s only one way to find out. Let’s go talk to some elderly.” The Artificer took the carrots with them, taking a bite out of them as the three of them walked, unfazed by the bad taste of the old carrots.

The three of them found the town square. There were young children gathered together talking or napping under the shade of the buildings and trees. A few young adults were cleaning the town square, making sure it’s clear of dirt and leaves. The elderly was in their own corner sitting around tables and playing boardgames of some kind. The three adventurers approached the elderly. Only one acknowledged their approached as he looked at them suspiciously.

“What do you strangers want?” The old man had a long gray beard, and the sun shined on his bald head, as if he somehow took the hair on his head and decided to place it on his face to shake up the last years of his life. He was rail thin, but he still had a fire in his eyes, like he’d use his skeleton-like hands to cut you open with just his fingernails.

“Well, my friends and I have noticed that your town seems to be having a hard time,” the Artificer started, “and we’re trying to figure out what’s wrong so we can help if we can. So what’s going on?”

“No! That’s none of your concern!” The old man stated as the other elderly nodded in agreement. Except for one lady who was hidden by the crowd saying, “Uh, we could use the help actually.” The old man turned towards the old woman’s voice and yelled, “Ah, shut up, Linda, they weren’t asking you!”

Hati took a step forward and lend towards the old man, then said, “Well now we are.”

Soliel was already walking towards Linda, “Pardon us.”

The old lady was bald, and you could obviously see that she didn’t have any teeth, but she still had a smile on her face that made the initial hostility surrounding them, seem dimmer.

“So what is going on, Madam,” Soliel asked politely.

“There’s this monstrous bear out in the woods that has three heads—”

“Bah! Your eyes are bad! It was a normal bear!” The old man stated.

“We weren’t asking you, now shut up,” Hati told off the old man. He was officially cowed by the moon themed automatons’ words.

“Please continue,” Soliel gently coxed Linda to continue.

“There’s this three-headed bear in the woods. It’s been giving us trouble ever since it’s been here. We’ve sent out so many rangers after it, who have never come back, that it’s felt useless to even ask for help anymore.”

“Well, we’re willing to help. We can take care of it for you,” Soliel said.

The old man spoke up with a shake to his voice, “Pah! What makes you three so special? I bet you’ll be asking for money for this service you are wanting to do.”

The Artificer quickly spoke up, “Of course. It’s only just enough money to support us to the next town we travel to. We need to eat and survive as well.”

The old man grumbled to himself as the other old folk nodded to that sound logic. The three of them get as much information as they can out of the towns folk and they bargained that if they succeed in killing the supposed three headed bear, they would be paid thirty gold pieces. Once everything was settled, the three adventures gathered their things and made their way into the nearby forest.

As the three of them walked through the forest, Soliel decided to softly strum on his ukulele to pass the time. Their human friend was lost in their own thoughts thinking about what new magical buffs they can add to their automaton friends. Hati took the lead as the ranger of the group and was trying to find bear tracks. After an hour of walking, Hati had suddenly stopped, and the other two-party members ran into him as a result.

“Dang it, Hati, what was that for. I was on a rhythm,” Soliel complained.

Hati put a finger to his face mask and made a shushing noise. Then in a whisper he asked, “Do you hear that?”

The three of them stood silently in the softly lit forest. All that was heard was the slight rustling of the breeze through the trees.

“I don’t hear anything,” the Artificer whispered. Soliel nodded in agreement with them.

“That’s right. There’s nothing. Not the sound of birds. Not the sound of wolves. Or dear or ferrets or any other animal that belongs to this forest. It’s too quiet. It’s like not even the insects are here.”

The Artificer felt goosebumps prickle their skin and Soliel huddled closer to them as they gripped their ukulele a little tighter.

“Did this bear just eat everything that’s in this forest?” The Artificer asked as they seriously took in their surroundings.

Hati took out two arrows from his quiver for him to grip in each hand. “I would bet good money on that being the case. Let’s keep moving. I know we’re getting closer to it.”

After that, the three of them got lost in the woods for an undetermined amount of time, because Hati was too proud to say he got lost after saying something that he thought made him sound cool. Eventually, the three of them got back on track. At a clearing in the woods, the party then found a big, dark cave with dried blood splattering its entrance and bones scattered everywhere.

“I think it would be nice if one of us knew necromancy,” the Artificer whispered.

“Yah, we could raise a whole skeleton army here,” Soliel whimpered.

“Welp, no time like the present to get this done,” Hati said. Then he ran screaming into the cave making his friends jump at the sudden noise.

Exasperated, Soliel yelled, “Hati why!”

The lunar automaton moved too fast for them to react and all they could do was watch him disappear as his voice echoed inside the cave. The two of them stood quietly as it got quiet in the cave.

“Oh good. It seems the bear isn’t in it’s cave right now,” the Artificer sighed.

Soliel felt a hot, wet breath on the back of his scrawny neck. The solar automaton whipped around so fast it made the human jump and the two of them came face to face with a bear. Its head is so large it was as long as Soliel was tall. Its eyes were blood shot, and drool dripped down its fuzzy maw. Then something moved around the neck of the giant bear, almost hidden and blended into its long, dark brown shaggy fur. It was two more heads, smaller than the head in the middle, but still just as dangerous looking. For the longest moment, the two of them stared down the massive creature as it sniffed at them. All six eyes then shifted to the Artificer.

“Oh, no…” They said as they started to back up from the encroaching bear.

In a panic Soliel cast Confusion on the three headed bear, music filled the air making the world seem wobbly and weak. His human friend shook their head against the music, resisting the magic the solar automaton cast. The three headed bear wasn’t so lucky as it recoiled and stood on its hind legs, looking as tall as a two-story tall building.

“Sorry!” Soliel yelled.

“It’s good! I’m good!”

An arrow shot forward and then hundreds more followed suit. The bear cried in pain, but only attached a near by tree. The two heroes turned to see Hati standing at the entrance of the cave, his bow smoking from using the spell Conjure Volley.

“So, the cave is empty.”

“Oh, you don’t say,” Soliel snapped back.

“Now’s not the time to argue,” their human friend yelled as they took special manacles out of their bags and placed them on their arms. Then like angel wings, four giant olden mechanical arms appeared on their back, having casted Bionic Arms on themselves. “I’m going to try and pin its heads.” They climbed up the bear, using the arrows lodged into its hide as leverage to climb up faster. The human managed to get on top of the middle head of the bear, but just as they were about to grapple the jaws shut, clarity came back to the bears eyes, and it immediately tried to shake the Artificer off. “Aaaaa! Heeeeelp!!!”

Soliel strummed on his ukulele and sang a song called Hold Monster. Immediately the three headed bear was still, but its body trembled as it tried to fight off the magical hold it was under. The human sighs in relief.

Hati shot two arrows from his bow at the bear, both striking true. The second arrow caused thick spiney vines to spout out of the ground and wrap around the three headed bear’s hind legs. Even though it couldn’t open its mouth as it was still being held down by Soliel’s magic, they heard it cry viciously from the pain.

The Artificer placed a pair of hands on each head, then used Taser. A charge of deadly electricity raced through the bear, causing its fur to smoke. Then the bear managed to break free of Soliel’s magic and one of the smaller bear heads managed to grab the Artificer by their boot. The bear shook them around before releasing them. The human flew through the sky and hit their back against a thick tree trunk and flopped to the forest floor.

Soliel reactively ran towards their human friend but as he tried to get to them, the bear managed to catch him with its paws and sent the automaton flying backwards, making him disappear into the bushes of the forest. The bear then got to work on biting the spiney vines off of its body.

Hati let loose another spell of Conjure Volley. Hitting the bear mostly in its back as it was in pain but still focused on getting itself free from the vines. The lunar automaton pulled out two arrows from his quiver and then charged at the bear with the arrows held high above his head.

The Artificer struggled to get back on to their feet, even when using their extra limbs as crutches. They looked up in time to see Hati flinging himself at the three headed bear. “Hati! It’s not even restrained anymore!” Their friend ignored them as the ranger robot continued to stab the now free bear with his arrows. The bear set its eyes on the human and growled hungerly at them as they started to lumber towards the only flesh and blood being within a hundred-foot radius. The Artificer pulled out a disk from their bag and as the bear got closer and opened its jaw towards them, the human threw the disk into their mouth. The bear retracted a bit, finding the odd disk tasting funny, then the human magically set it off and the disk blew up like a bomb in the bear’s mouth. The middle head gurgled in pain as the other two heads howled in pain with the middle head.

Soliel managed to finally drag himself out of the bush and came back into the clearing seeing that Hati was hanging on to the bear’s chest hair, and that his human friend was essentially cornered by a bloody mouthed bear. The bardic robot shook the leaves out of his ukulele and then started to strum Vicious Mockery, telling the bear how stupid it is and how weak and pathetic it is and how it doesn’t belong in the forest. It shook the three headed bear to its core. Hati barely managed to get out of the way as the bear fell to its stomach.

Hati aimed an arrow into the sky and as the arrow fell towards the downed bear, he cast Conjure Barrage and hundreds of arrows rained on the bears back. The bear let out a weak roar.

The Artificer kept their distance from the bear as they pointed with three hands at the creature. Then they let loose another Taser spell at the bear’s head. With one last weak gargle, the bear died before the three of them. The three of them sighed in relief.

“That was rough,” the human stated as they wiped sweat off their brow.

“That was an invasive species if I’ve ever seen one,” Hati remarked as he put away his bow and arrows.

“Yah, and maybe next time, don’t just run headfirst into a problem,” Soliel scolded his fellow automaton.

“It’s dead, isn’t it?”

“Guys, let’s cut its head off so we have proof we did the job. Soliel, do you have any juice left to heal me. I’m not feeling too good.”

The solar robot got it’s ukulele in position, “Of course.

# # #

“And then the three of you managed to drag the heads to the town and the towns folk rejoiced and had a big celebration in your honor for actually defeating the monster that has been terrorizing them for years. You were given your thirty gold pieces like you were promised and extra travel supplies as an extra thank you for what you three did. The end.” You said, finishing the campaign.

“Yay! Happy ending,” Sun said as he clapped.

“Thank you for this. We really enjoyed playing this with you,” Moon stated.

“Of course. I’m happy you two were interested in trying it with me.”

Sun nodded with a giddy mechanical hum and Moon held your hand. Then the three of you cleaned up your dnd mess and continued your day doing chores and personal hobbies.

#my art #digital art #fnaf #fanfiction #secret santa present #DCASS2023 #for primary-visions

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mareposie · 2 years

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eden kids high school hc

They are imperial scholars (Damian was the first and he helped Anya to be the second one by getting a perfect grade)

They have this friend group with Becky, Ewen and Emile (occasionally George) they are always together and they are the most popular students in Eden.

Nobody bullies Anya because one day in middle school there was this accident and Damian said “Disrespecting Anya Forger is disrespecting me, a Desmond and you don’t want your family to be blacklisted.” + everyone knows Anya’s mother is close to Damian’s mother so they leave her alone.

Anya knows it’s BS because Damian is not close to his parents at all.

Damian knows Anya’s powers and this alone was enough to forgive her for using him for the mission, actually he even helps her because he’s angry at his father and doesn’t feel bad because he’s not the favorite son. They bonded through that a lot and they tease each other a lot in public and keep acting like they are annoyed by each other.

Damian is the school president, Ewen is the soccer team, Emile is the Becky is in the radio club (she does announcements and says a lot of BS in the morning) and Anya is the school’s council treasurer after she tried to start a nap time club.

They have their own table in the cafeteria. They even have a stupid name like 5den or Damian and the e-boys or whatever.

They are the first ones to arrive in school and last to leave. Damian sometimes buys his coffee (dark raw coffee) and decides to treat everyone with their favorite drinks. He brings Emile his latte, Ewen his iced americano, Becky’s it girl order (venti matcha ice latte with half oat milk half almond milk and 3 teaspoon of agave syrup) and finally Anya’s hot chocolate milk with cake.

Actually he always buys her cake for their study sessions.

A lot of physical touch. They don’t mind sharing food and using the same glass, fork, spoon etc. Anya loves to draw on Damian’s hand during class, while he is focus on taking notes for the both of them. Anya notices his dry hands and put her hand cream on them. Sometimes she even put some chapstick on his lips.

Becky puts concealer on everyone’s face whenever she spots dark circles.

Anya scolds him for sleeping late and Damian scolds her when she eats with her hands. By scolding I mean screaming “OI! YAH” and slapping each other.

Anya cried in preschool because she had no chocolate on V-Day and eversince, Damian secretly puts her expensive chocolate in her locker every year + publicly give her some and to close friends. She knows he knows that she knows but it’s a tradition anyway.

Damian hates chocolate on V-DAY because he received some with a strand of hair in it and got disgusted for life. He throws away the hundreds of chocolate boxes he gets every year. But he would totally eats Anya’s. She offered him the strangest things, she even gave him his first Tonitrus Bolt.

They both date around a lot because they don’t want to ruin their friendship but everyone knows it’s a matter of time. There’s this saying in Eden “getting punched so hard, he fell and never got up”

There was this girl who dared to call Damian Sy-on Boy and oh, she created chaos in the school. Anarchy. Anya was so pissed and Damian was even more pissed, since they are in the school council it was AWKWARD.

Anya calls him by his full name when she’s upset and vice versa. He usually calls her Forger. She actually tried to call him��“Dami” once because that’s how his house staff used to call him and he fainted.

Emile and Ewen calls Anya “Boss Woman” and Jeeves calls her “Young Master’s girlfriend”. Max LOVES Anya and Bond is jealous. Melinda LOVES Anya as much as she loves Yor but that’s for another day.

Damian is a honorary Forger, he spends a lot of time in the house when he is not overworking himself to death. Yor calls him “Dami”. They always have those deep discussions with Loid and the blonde is like a father figure for him.

During parents’ meetings and other school events, Yor and Loid are present for Anya AND Damian since his parents are never there. Yor always tells everything to Melinda afterwards.

Also everyone has a crush on Dr Forger.

There was that time in preschool where Loid and Yor visited during an event and everyone was mesmerized by their looks. And someone pointed out that Anya didn’t look as good as like them and was probably adopted and poor girl cried because she’s adopted 💀

Only Becky knew the secret, then Damian. It’s a big secret.

Damian can’t read under his favorite tree in peace because she will always snuggle next to him to take a nap.

They shared a bed so MANY times it’s ridiculous. Actually the 5 of them often share a bed when they are on a trip. Ewen smuggles beer cans during the school trips and got caught so many times 💀 Anya and Becky are his favorite drink buddies because Damian and Emile go into coma sleep after one drink. Becky is always clubbing barely gets any sleep so Damian and her bonded through energy drinks.

Damian sends texts like “you up ?” at 2 am then deletes it. They have a chaotic group chat and Anya is terrible with texting because she makes a lot of typos so she only does loud audio messages. Emile is the one who takes pics and sends them on the gc. He always takes pics of the sunset and shows it to everyone like “look how beautiful our planet is, I can’t believe we’re so blessed” with shiny eyes. Damian corrects everyone’s typos in the gc. Becky is the most active in the group.

When they want to skip school, Damian is the one who calls the school and acts like a parent to say the student is sick and won’t be in class. Anya did it one time and she said “This is Anya and Anya’s mother won’t be in class today because she’s sick” and the school staff made her repeat it three times then she got a Toni lmao.

See the Prince Yuki Club in Fruits Basket ? There’s a Prince Damian club in Eden and its president is the headband girl, of course, Anya is the nation’s enemy.

There’s also a Damianya fanclub and they became ally with Prince Damian club to ruin whatever relationship Damian has. Anya is also popular because of her looks and her quirky personality but nobody beats Becky who owned the school at some point.

Every single girl Damian has dated ended up with a broken heart because they thought they could change him. Every single boy Anya has dated ended up crawling in front of her house and crying with loud music to get her back.

Actually Anya and Damian kissed several times ‘just to try’ but nobody knows.

#spy x family #spy x family headcanons #damianya #I HAVE A LOT OF THESE #anya forger #damian desmond #anya x damian #becky blackbell #ewen egeburg #emile elman

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beansnsoup · 2 years

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Izuku Midoriya dating headcanons

Warnings: there shouldn't be any, fluff

• This boy adores you

• Izuku tells you numerous times that'd he'd do anything for you, and how much he loves you.

• He gives you forehead kisses all the time, before missions, before and after school, between classes, it's just his favorite thing so he'll do it whenever he has a chance.

• Whenever you wear his clothes he melts, when you stay over at his house or at his dorm he encourages it. Tells you not to bring any extra clothes and to just borrow his.

• When he's cuddling you in bed he likes to be little spoon. If you're both facing eachother, he'll rub his hands up and down your back.

• Izuku thinks it's so sweet when you trace his scars. I also feel like he's the type of person to rub his thumb on your hand when you guys are holding hands, he just gives me that vibe.

• His hair is incredibly soft, you're obsessed with it. When he's writing in his notebook, you'll sit on his lap and play with his hair.

• When he has a stressful day, he likes to make his way to your dorm so you can ease his mind. You'll rub your hands along his back, like a mini massage, put your hands in his hair, trace along his arms and hands, and then pepper kisses all over him.

• His mom loves you, sometimes he suspects she loves you more than him. Which he thought would never be possible. Inko thinks the two of you are perfect for eachother. When Izuku is just home, not doing anything, his mom will blurt out somthing like, "You should invite Y/N over for lunch!" Then she'll head to the kitchen to start food.

• For your guys' first date he took you to a cute, little, and secluded book store. That's the moment you knew you wanted to be with him. He held all of your books for you a chipped in to help pay. You were gawking about it to Mina all night.

• When you buy new clothes, you like to do a fashion show for him. The whole time he's going crazy over you, giving a 10/10 to every outfit and kissing you all over your face while hyping you up.

• Couple costumes are a must. Class 1-A is always excited for Halloween when it comes around just to see what the two of you have come up with. You've both done, Yor and Loid Forger, Nene and Hanako, and Tanjiro and Kanao.

• When you both found out about Marvel you were both geeking out. It's your guys' new favorite thing to do together. You and Izuku watched half of them with your mouths wide open. Tears have been shed during these movie nights as well.

• When Izuku watches you wash your face and put face masks on it makes him want to try it. You went to a nearby convenient store to grab a handful of facial masks, while applying them you know for sure your both streaming marvel shows.

• You both geek over pro heros, alot. All Might isn't your number one favorite but you love watching videos about him with Izuku. Your favorite is hero drama, you've been hooked on whatever thing has been going on with Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods.

• PDA isn't a big thing for you guys, but every once in a while he'll pepper kisses on your face or hold your hand. That's about it though.

• Because of his quirk, Izuku has been having visions, or nightmares, lately while trying to go to sleep. When he can't get back to sleep he'll text you if you're up, then text you all night until he's comfortable enough to doze off again.

• Izuku tells you all the time he wouldn't know what he'd do without you, and you tell him all the time he's what you've been needing for the past few years. It's like the two of you were made for eachother.

Before yall saying anything because I know somebody will, Marvel has been referenced in MHA!! Horikoshi has even said that Sero really likes spiderman in the Ultra Hero Anlysis book!!

#mha headcanons #my hero acedamia #boko no hero academia #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #deku x reader #mha midoriya #bnha midoriya #bnha izuku #izuku midoryia x reader #mha deku #deku headcanons

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yukihime242 · 4 months

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This time, I am looking at a list of anime that has a masterful character in the show. This means that the character is skillful in anything he/she does, be it cooking, cleaning, performing etc.

Also, 🚨SPOILERS🚨 for those who has yet to watch some of the anime below.

1️⃣ Kuroshitsuji

(Picture Source: The Nerdy Shrink thru' Google Image Search)

This anime is also known as Black Butler for those of you who prefer the English-dubbed version. I bet some of you guys were thinking about this anime when I relayed the theme in the intro. To be honest, this anime came to my mind too (hahahaha).

Ahem. Anyway, this anime talks about a young boy called Ciel Phantomhive who was almost used as a sacrifice by a secret cult to summon a demon. The demon thought that Ciel was more worthy to be his master and decided to serve him instead under the guise of his butler. The contract that they made was for the demon to obey Ciel's every order and protect him with all his might until the day Ciel manage to exact his revenge on those who tried to sacrifice him.

This is a shoujo anime, and many many many girls fawn and swoon over the demon butler, Sebastian. Mind you, a new season is going to come out in 2024 so this anime will be all over your anime feed once more.

This anime is quite good. It currently has two seasons, with the second season introducing anime-only characters, another additional season focusing on the Book of Circus, and finally, a movie where they boarded a ship which was infested with zombies (no... it's in the manga... it's an arc).

You will also get to witness the might of the butler, Sebastian, as he takes care of the house chores around the Phantomhive Manor with precision and grace. The rule is that you cannot say he is a masterful butler; you must say that "he is one hell of a butler".

Rating: 8.5⭐/10

2️⃣ The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today

(Picture Source: IMDb thru' Google Image Search)

This is a more recent anime and Netflix released it some time ago and I managed to finish watching it.

First off, yes, that is a real cat. He just evolved to act more like a human to take care of his sloppy master. You could say that he learned to take care of his master and maintain the house chores to the point people believe it was done by Saku. I mean... would you believe her if she tells you that it was done by her cat?

The story revolves around Saku trying to skirt around the praises and compliments she received for her house skills because in truth, it was all done by her masterful cat, Yukichi.

Despite Yukichi being the size of a bear, as according to the description in the Wiki, the anime is mostly a slice-of-life genre. If you like that genre, and love cats, then this anime is one for you.

Rating: 8⭐/10

3️⃣ Spy x Family Season 2

(Picture Source: Yahoo thru' Google Image Search)

The latest season of Spy x Family was out on Netflix and this time, it is much better than the previous season.

In the new season, the anime focuses on the vacation time for the students. Hence, the Forger family went on a cruise. There was quite a lot of adventures to be held in the large ship and it has given Anya the adventure of a life time.

As usual, Loid Forger, the masterful spy in the show, has shown his endless feats of skills, from flawlessly disguising himself to help save the cruise to surfing the ocean waves with ease. This new season has proven to be more exciting than the previous one.

Rating: 8⭐/10

4️⃣ Sakamoto desu ga?

(Picture Source: Dailymotion thru' Google Image Search)

I think this anime may speak some familiarity to you guys as it was probably about a year or so ago that this anime came out.

Just like the theme for this cluster review, it talks about this young man called Sakamoto who is literally ✨perfect✨ in everything (I feel like I have to give him the sparkles). His grades, his physical fitness, and the things that he does is the peak of ✨perfection✨.

But don't get him wrong, while he may seem to be following the school rules based on his attire, he also knows how to bend the rules at times to suit the needs for himself and others. And he does it ✨flawlessly✨. This has earned him respect from both his classmates and schoolmates who once hated him with a passion.

I hope the sparkles has enough emphasize-ness on his masterfulness.

... That was quite a mouthful...

Anyway, not a really bad anime. Most of the men drawn in this anime were drawn to be moderate or ugly to emphasize on his good looks. It could be like the Komi Can't Communicate anime but the male version of it.

Rating: 7.5 ⭐/10

#yukihime's anime review #sakamoto desu ga #spy x family #kuroshitsuji #black butler #the masterful cat is depressed again

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atotc-weekly · 11 months

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Book the Second—The Golden Thread

[X] Chapter I. Five Years Later

Tellson’s Bank by Temple Bar was an old-fashioned place, even in the year one thousand seven hundred and eighty. It was very small, very dark, very ugly, very incommodious. It was an old-fashioned place, moreover, in the moral attribute that the partners in the House were proud of its smallness, proud of its darkness, proud of its ugliness, proud of its incommodiousness. They were even boastful of its eminence in those particulars, and were fired by an express conviction that, if it were less objectionable, it would be less respectable. This was no passive belief, but an active weapon which they flashed at more convenient places of business. Tellson’s (they said) wanted no elbow-room, Tellson’s wanted no light, Tellson’s wanted no embellishment. Noakes and Co.’s might, or Snooks Brothers’ might; but Tellson’s, thank Heaven—!

Any one of these partners would have disinherited his son on the question of rebuilding Tellson’s. In this respect the House was much on a par with the Country; which did very often disinherit its sons for suggesting improvements in laws and customs that had long been highly objectionable, but were only the more respectable.

Thus it had come to pass, that Tellson’s was the triumphant perfection of inconvenience. After bursting open a door of idiotic obstinacy with a weak rattle in its throat, you fell into Tellson’s down two steps, and came to your senses in a miserable little shop, with two little counters, where the oldest of men made your cheque shake as if the wind rustled it, while they examined the signature by the dingiest of windows, which were always under a shower-bath of mud from Fleet-street, and which were made the dingier by their own iron bars proper, and the heavy shadow of Temple Bar. If your business necessitated your seeing “the House,” you were put into a species of Condemned Hold at the back, where you meditated on a misspent life, until the House came with its hands in its pockets, and you could hardly blink at it in the dismal twilight. Your money came out of, or went into, wormy old wooden drawers, particles of which flew up your nose and down your throat when they were opened and shut. Your bank-notes had a musty odour, as if they were fast decomposing into rags again. Your plate was stowed away among the neighbouring cesspools, and evil communications corrupted its good polish in a day or two. Your deeds got into extemporised strong-rooms made of kitchens and sculleries, and fretted all the fat out of their parchments into the banking-house air. Your lighter boxes of family papers went up-stairs into a Barmecide room, that always had a great dining-table in it and never had a dinner, and where, even in the year one thousand seven hundred and eighty, the first letters written to you by your old love, or by your little children, were but newly released from the horror of being ogled through the windows, by the heads exposed on Temple Bar with an insensate brutality and ferocity worthy of Abyssinia or Ashantee.

But indeed, at that time, putting to death was a recipe much in vogue with all trades and professions, and not least of all with Tellson’s. Death is Nature’s remedy for all things, and why not Legislation’s? Accordingly, the forger was put to Death; the utterer of a bad note was put to Death; the unlawful opener of a letter was put to Death; the purloiner of forty shillings and sixpence was put to Death; the holder of a horse at Tellson’s door, who made off with it, was put to Death; the coiner of a bad shilling was put to Death; the sounders of three-fourths of the notes in the whole gamut of Crime, were put to Death. Not that it did the least good in the way of prevention—it might almost have been worth remarking that the fact was exactly the reverse—but, it cleared off (as to this world) the trouble of each particular case, and left nothing else connected with it to be looked after. Thus, Tellson’s, in its day, like greater places of business, its contemporaries, had taken so many lives, that, if the heads laid low before it had been ranged on Temple Bar instead of being privately disposed of, they would probably have excluded what little light the ground floor had, in a rather significant manner.

Cramped in all kinds of dim cupboards and hutches at Tellson’s, the oldest of men carried on the business gravely. When they took a young man into Tellson’s London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

Outside Tellson’s—never by any means in it, unless called in—was an odd-job-man, an occasional porter and messenger, who served as the live sign of the house. He was never absent during business hours, unless upon an errand, and then he was represented by his son: a grisly urchin of twelve, who was his express image. People understood that Tellson’s, in a stately way, tolerated the odd-job-man. The house had always tolerated some person in that capacity, and time and tide had drifted this person to the post. His surname was Cruncher, and on the youthful occasion of his renouncing by proxy the works of darkness, in the easterly parish church of Hounsditch, he had received the added appellation of Jerry.

The scene was Mr. Cruncher’s private lodging in Hanging-sword-alley, Whitefriars: the time, half-past seven of the clock on a windy March morning, Anno Domini seventeen hundred and eighty. (Mr. Cruncher himself always spoke of the year of our Lord as Anna Dominoes: apparently under the impression that the Christian era dated from the invention of a popular game, by a lady who had bestowed her name upon it.)

Mr. Cruncher’s apartments were not in a savoury neighbourhood, and were but two in number, even if a closet with a single pane of glass in it might be counted as one. But they were very decently kept. Early as it was, on the windy March morning, the room in which he lay abed was already scrubbed throughout; and between the cups and saucers arranged for breakfast, and the lumbering deal table, a very clean white cloth was spread.

Mr. Cruncher reposed under a patchwork counterpane, like a Harlequin at home. At first, he slept heavily, but, by degrees, began to roll and surge in bed, until he rose above the surface, with his spiky hair looking as if it must tear the sheets to ribbons. At which juncture, he exclaimed, in a voice of dire exasperation:

“Bust me, if she ain’t at it agin!”

A woman of orderly and industrious appearance rose from her knees in a corner, with sufficient haste and trepidation to show that she was the person referred to.

“What!” said Mr. Cruncher, looking out of bed for a boot. “You’re at it agin, are you?”

After hailing the morn with this second salutation, he threw a boot at the woman as a third. It was a very muddy boot, and may introduce the odd circumstance connected with Mr. Cruncher’s domestic economy, that, whereas he often came home after banking hours with clean boots, he often got up next morning to find the same boots covered with clay.

“What,” said Mr. Cruncher, varying his apostrophe after missing his mark—“what are you up to, Aggerawayter?”

“I was only saying my prayers.”

“Saying your prayers! You’re a nice woman! What do you mean by flopping yourself down and praying agin me?”

“I was not praying against you; I was praying for you.”

“You weren’t. And if you were, I won’t be took the liberty with. Here! your mother’s a nice woman, young Jerry, going a praying agin your father’s prosperity. You’ve got a dutiful mother, you have, my son. You’ve got a religious mother, you have, my boy: going and flopping herself down, and praying that the bread-and-butter may be snatched out of the mouth of her only child.”

Master Cruncher (who was in his shirt) took this very ill, and, turning to his mother, strongly deprecated any praying away of his personal board.

“And what do you suppose, you conceited female,” said Mr. Cruncher, with unconscious inconsistency, “that the worth of your prayers may be? Name the price that you put your prayers at!”

“They only come from the heart, Jerry. They are worth no more than that.”

“Worth no more than that,” repeated Mr. Cruncher. “They ain’t worth much, then. Whether or no, I won’t be prayed agin, I tell you. I can’t afford it. I’m not a going to be made unlucky by your sneaking. If you must go flopping yourself down, flop in favour of your husband and child, and not in opposition to ’em. If I had had any but a unnat’ral wife, and this poor boy had had any but a unnat’ral mother, I might have made some money last week instead of being counter-prayed and countermined and religiously circumwented into the worst of luck. B-u-u-ust me!” said Mr. Cruncher, who all this time had been putting on his clothes, “if I ain’t, what with piety and one blowed thing and another, been choused this last week into as bad luck as ever a poor devil of a honest tradesman met with! Young Jerry, dress yourself, my boy, and while I clean my boots keep a eye upon your mother now and then, and if you see any signs of more flopping, give me a call. For, I tell you,” here he addressed his wife once more, “I won’t be gone agin, in this manner. I am as rickety as a hackney-coach, I’m as sleepy as laudanum, my lines is strained to that degree that I shouldn’t know, if it wasn’t for the pain in ’em, which was me and which somebody else, yet I’m none the better for it in pocket; and it’s my suspicion that you’ve been at it from morning to night to prevent me from being the better for it in pocket, and I won’t put up with it, Aggerawayter, and what do you say now!”

Growling, in addition, such phrases as “Ah! yes! You’re religious, too. You wouldn’t put yourself in opposition to the interests of your husband and child, would you? Not you!” and throwing off other sarcastic sparks from the whirling grindstone of his indignation, Mr. Cruncher betook himself to his boot-cleaning and his general preparation for business. In the meantime, his son, whose head was garnished with tenderer spikes, and whose young eyes stood close by one another, as his father’s did, kept the required watch upon his mother. He greatly disturbed that poor woman at intervals, by darting out of his sleeping closet, where he made his toilet, with a suppressed cry of “You are going to flop, mother. —Halloa, father!” and, after raising this fictitious alarm, darting in again with an undutiful grin.

Mr. Cruncher’s temper was not at all improved when he came to his breakfast. He resented Mrs. Cruncher’s saying grace with particular animosity.

“Now, Aggerawayter! What are you up to? At it again?”

His wife explained that she had merely “asked a blessing.”

“Don’t do it!” said Mr. Crunches looking about, as if he rather expected to see the loaf disappear under the efficacy of his wife’s petitions. “I ain’t a going to be blest out of house and home. I won’t have my wittles blest off my table. Keep still!”

Exceedingly red-eyed and grim, as if he had been up all night at a party which had taken anything but a convivial turn, Jerry Cruncher worried his breakfast rather than ate it, growling over it like any four-footed inmate of a menagerie. Towards nine o’clock he smoothed his ruffled aspect, and, presenting as respectable and business-like an exterior as he could overlay his natural self with, issued forth to the occupation of the day.

It could scarcely be called a trade, in spite of his favourite description of himself as “a honest tradesman.” His stock consisted of a wooden stool, made out of a broken-backed chair cut down, which stool, young Jerry, walking at his father’s side, carried every morning to beneath the banking-house window that was nearest Temple Bar: where, with the addition of the first handful of straw that could be gleaned from any passing vehicle to keep the cold and wet from the odd-job-man’s feet, it formed the encampment for the day. On this post of his, Mr. Cruncher was as well known to Fleet-street and the Temple, as the Bar itself,—and was almost as in-looking.

Encamped at a quarter before nine, in good time to touch his three-cornered hat to the oldest of men as they passed in to Tellson’s, Jerry took up his station on this windy March morning, with young Jerry standing by him, when not engaged in making forays through the Bar, to inflict bodily and mental injuries of an acute description on passing boys who were small enough for his amiable purpose. Father and son, extremely like each other, looking silently on at the morning traffic in Fleet-street, with their two heads as near to one another as the two eyes of each were, bore a considerable resemblance to a pair of monkeys. The resemblance was not lessened by the accidental circumstance, that the mature Jerry bit and spat out straw, while the twinkling eyes of the youthful Jerry were as restlessly watchful of him as of everything else in Fleet-street.

The head of one of the regular indoor messengers attached to Tellson’s establishment was put through the door, and the word was given:

“Porter wanted!”

“Hooray, father! Here’s an early job to begin with!”

Having thus given his parent God speed, young Jerry seated himself on the stool, entered on his reversionary interest in the straw his father had been chewing, and cogitated.

“Al-ways rusty! His fingers is al-ways rusty!” muttered young Jerry. “Where does my father get all that iron rust from? He don’t get no iron rust here!”

#a tale of two cities #atotc weekly #charles dickens #may 28 #the golden thread

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