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#it's been friggin' forever
class1akids · 4 months
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New memory - It's a Cotton Candy Machine!
(They are releasing Cotton Candy All Might without the best part 😭)
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wantsharptteeth · 2 months
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My sib just like went on a rant about how there was no non-binary genders before the 2000s?? WHAT IN THE COSMOS ARE YOU SAYING MY DUDE
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child-of-the-cosmos · 6 months
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YOU
You won't know what hit you
But while the time is ticking...
Cough cough
YOU'RE THE MOST MAGNIFICENT PERSON I EVER CAME ACROSS. YOU'RE SO BRIGHT LIKE A LITTERAL SUN I BECAME STARSTRUCK EVERY TIME YOU INTERACT WITH ME. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY AM I TO CROSS PATHS ON THIS FANDOM, NO SCRATCH THAT, THE WHILE PLATFORM AND TO BECOME YOUR MUTUAL. YOU BRING SMILES TO EVERY MOOT YOU HAVE MADE. YOU'RE AMAZING, ADORABLE, CUTE, BEAUTIFUL, MAGNIFICENT, LOVELY, CREATIVE, ASTONISHING, WONDERFUL, BRILLIANT, AWESOME, COOL, CHARMING, FANTASTIC AND 100000000000% LOVE WORTHY. THE BEST CINNAMON ROLL EVER
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and I'm biting u
SMISKFOSKDOWLWVSKSKWLMLOFKKSJSOEOSWII
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TWAY-LA.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. I WAS NOT READY. AM GONNA CRY. WAIT. HOLD ON. YOU. YOU. IDK WHAT TO SAY, I CAN BARELY FRIGGIN TYPE NOW. MY HEARTTTTTTTT. I AM SHAKING YOU SO MUCH RN!!!!! HUGGING YOU FOREVER.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT ME??????? TWAY-LA, I'VE ALREADY BEEN HIT. I AM DOWN. AM ON THE FLOOR NOW. I AM KEEPING THIS ONE FOREVER. AXKELSKKZENMSKSSWKKEIIE. YOU. JUST, YOU. MY HEART FEELS SO FULL NOW LIKE- YOU ARE JUST AMAZING AND SO SO MUCH MORE. YOU LITERALLY MADE ME SPEECHLESS. I AM SO SO SO FRIGGIN HAPPY TO HAVE MET YOU TOO. I AM GONNA CRYYYYY. I AM TRYING TO HOLD IT IN- BUT GOSHDARNIT, THIS ONE GOT ME. AHHHHHHH I AM TACKLING YOU WITH HUGS. DO YOU HEAR ME, TACKLING YOU.
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quirkfics · 2 years
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owo ! Trick with KuroPress, maybe? It's exciting to see you're posting again, I hope you've been doing well :)
How can any of this be real? Struggling against the length of rope crisscrossed over your legs, and the thick twist of a knot just barely within reach of your bound wrists, is proving futile. It hasn’t helped any, but you can’t just sit here and do nothing, not when- You tense, toes curling away from the floor when the masked man appears, kneeling carefully in front of your chair. He sweeps out his coat, so it lays artfully behind him, the lines crisp, and rests a single elbow against your knee. He hums when he feels your thigh twitch, almost laughs at the angry look you’re certain you’re sporting. He tilts back the top hat on his head. 
“What a face,” he says, almost chastising. “You could stand to be a little friendlier, you know. Kurogiri and I saved you from quite the ordeal.”
A bolt of adrenaline zips through your veins, recalling the yellow eyed swathe of living darkness that had swept over you before you’d hit the ground. “I’m tied up,” you bite out.
“But alive.” The words are spoken just shy of your ear, leaving your back prickling with gooseflesh and your heart caught in your throat. You hadn’t even known he was in the damned room! “Atsuhiro and I have both done you a good turn, your life, twice over-”
“No. No, this is some kind of trick. What do you-”
“You stumbled upon a meeting of very unpleasant people, my dear. My friend may have kept that lovely face from being dashed against the concrete, but I was the one who kept your head on your shoulders.” The masked man taps a gloved hand against the porcelain hiding his face. “If you’d like to go free, I suggest we have a little discussion about your debt.”
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arthur-r · 1 year
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my fire opal converse arrived i’m screaming
#/hyperbole but the color is so perfect#i spent around twenty seconds screaming in a bad way because of how friggin white they are it scares me#like i don’t want to ruin them. i have owned two pairs of not-hand-me-down sneakers in my life and this is one of them#and so then i felt like a terrible person for doing purchases and wanting things and not just sticking with my old hand me down red converse#which are too small for me now and literally stained with blood. and also mud but the blood is the problem part#anyway mal blum voice oh my god look at all the stuff you got does it make your loneliness more bearable#but genuinely it kind of does. they’re my exact color it’s ridiculous guys. like it’s the color of my walls exactly#and they will make me taller so i can actually see at concerts and in the school hallway. and i’ll keep them forever#(this was an early christmas present from me to myself i put a bunch of tip money on my debit card and bought myself the shoes i’ve wanted)#they are custom because the color doesn’t come in regular converse you have to get a custom fall colors pair so i did#and so they’re lift platforms with a gold star logo patch and stripey gold and white laces it’s really cool#anyway they were supposed to arrive in time for the happy fits concert and they didn’t. but the concert didnt even happen for me so whatever#good news!!!! daisy the great is coming back this april on their first headlining tour it’s gonna be so cool#no news on the happy fits and i really want to see them and also meet them but they did say something about how they can’t wait to be back#so i hope that comes sooner rather than later and that i’m still minneapolis-adjacent enough to go#or i guess i might have to go to a show in chicago!! we grow and change with the times#anyway i’m kind of disjointed cause i woke up recently and also have been in an anxious spiral for like a week but we’re managing great#playing sudoku and being parented by my dad which means: sitting alone in my room with the door closed for hours on end#so i’m here if anybody needs me!! usually dad parenting comes with caring for my sister but she has gymnastics today so i’m like. here#anyway yeah i have these bright red-orange converse with gold on them and i’m gonna cry#i’ll post a picture soon if i’m feeling up to it they’re really exciting like almost enough to fix me#like it’s literally my color. it’s the color that i am. i’m going slightly insane about this (is insane already)#and i painted my electric guitar with nail polish so now the tuning pegs are sparkly red and it’s just a good time for the arthur community#period-induced paranoia that i thought i was done with put aside. and general anxiety put aside. the arthur community is doing great#do y’all remember mononokay by sorority noise? the arthurcore song? it still is. i’m listening to it rn and it still is#anyway idk what to say. i’m here and things are weird but i’m going back to school on monday and it won’t be as weird anymore. i hope#and i cleaned my room like actually deep cleaned it and it’s fixed now. my room is actually good now. how did that happen#anyway i want to go home but i am home. i should also eat breakfast. yeah. so i will do that now. yep#me. my post. mine.#friends only
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actualtoad · 2 years
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my parents are fighting
#it had been a couple days and now my dad is really pissed#im just tired of all of it#im working on writing thank you cards to my teachers but im not feeling any positive energy anymore#so i think im going to just stop for now? but maybe i can finish before i go to sleep#they could keep this up forever though#im going to turn on some white noise because i don’t think i can deal with music right now but i could really use some sounds#anyway im doing okay i just kind of. have to complain to someone when there starts being screaming in my house?#because otherwise i end up feeling like im making it all up but my dad is SCREAMING at my mom calling her boring and unforgiving and#telling her to leave him the f*ck alone. so. that’s the vibe out here#they moved downstairs but the layer of floor does NOTHING. wait do you know what my dad sounds like#marlin when he’s yelling at nemo like toward the beginning of the movie my dad sounds like him#making the most of a bad situation with movie references#anyway i really want my dad to leave HER the f*ck alone actually. he’s calling her malevolent but he’s the one yelling and intimidating her#it’s not. fair. to decide that she’s a terrible problem when this is what happens whenever he gets upset at her. i just want her to get out#honestly. and i want them to get back divorcing please!!!! why did you guys stop doing that it was a good friggin idea#i told my mom that i didn’t want them to. back when she was first talking about it. but now i really wish she had#we can’t really afford for her to have her own apartment though so idk what would even happen. i just want it to end#anyway im fine but just. yeah. im going to turn on some music i think actually. and i think keep writing#me. my post. mine.#delete later#vent cw#don’t let me kill the mood this is just. a general vent because it’s kind of infuriating having this constantly in the periphery#i want a hug. and im tired. and i want to go home. but. im okay and im going to listen to music and everything’s fine
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miintsprigz · 4 months
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Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)
This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.
But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.
Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.
VERY LONG POST INCOMING
Scout
• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.
• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”
•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.
•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.
• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…
•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?
• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”
•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”
•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)
Pyro
•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.
•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.
•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.
•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.
•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.
•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.
•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.
•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.
•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.
•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.
• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.
• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.
•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.
•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.
Heavy
•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.
•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.
•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.
•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.
•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!
• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.
•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.
•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.
•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”
Demoman
•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.
•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.
•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”
•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”
•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.
•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.
•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?
•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”
•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.
•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”
Engineer
•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.
•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.
•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.
•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.
•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.
•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.
•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.
•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.
•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.
•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”
•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”
•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”
Soldier
•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.
•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.
•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.
•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”
•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.
•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.
•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”
•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”
•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.
•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?
•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”
•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”
Sniper
•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.
•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.
•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.
•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.
•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”
•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.
•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.
•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.
•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.
•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”
Medic
•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”
•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.
•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”
•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.
•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.
•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”
•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”
•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”
•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.
•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”
•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.
Spy
•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.
•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.
•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.
•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.
•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”
•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”
•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.
•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.
•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…
•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.
•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.
•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.
•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.
•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”
•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j
•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.
•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.
•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”
AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!
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lord-radish · 2 years
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god I heard a Weepies song in the Blacklist last night. It was the episode after the one with Daxter's VA from the Jak and Daxter games.
Lots of blorbos in the Blacklist, I'll tell you h'what
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prying-pandora666 · 3 months
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From Zutara to Sokkla - Narrative Framing and Hypocrisy
Something that boggles me about the fandom is the complete double standard between Zuko and Sokka vs Katara and Azula.
A pretty noticeable example is how we frame the infamous “I’ll save you from the pirates” scene versus the Day of Black Sun.
The infamous pirates scene is often lauded (or condemned) as the birth of Zutara. Fans allege the tension between Zuko and Katara is palpable, and that their attraction is clear.
But let’s consider:
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Katara isn’t a realized bender yet. She can’t defend herself. She’s surrounded by hardened adult criminals with weapons who have it out for her, and two firebenders (like the man who killed her mother!) who have been pursuing her doggedly, one of whom has shown he is quick to use violence even against civilians and the elderly.
Zuko dangles Katara’s necklace in front of her, the only item she has left of her mother, and threatens to take it away forever if she doesn’t sell out her friends.
If you want to read romance in this harrowing scene, feel free. It’s fiction and I’m not the morality police. Have fun!
What bothers me is the hypocrisy in how people frame this scene by comparison:
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Consider this: Azula can’t bend. She’s unarmed. She’s pinned to the wall and has no means of escape. Her enemy is armed, is the architect of this invasion, has an army outside ready to follow him, and is currently flanked by an unstoppable earthbender and the friggin Avatar!
Azula is using herself as bait to protect her father (and ostensibly Zuko) knowing her life would be in terrible danger for minimum of 8 minutes. During which the enemy can do anything to her. The Fire Nation has done a lot of harm and there are surely many soldiers out there who would love to take their revenge on the Fire Nation’s pretty little princess who conquered the “impenetrable” capital of the Earth Kingdom.
The show goes out of its way to inform us that Azula is an expert at hiding her emotions. She can even fool Toph’s lie detector. Why?
Many people misinterpret this as a sign that Azula is an emotionless sociopath or whatever ableist pop-sci ideas they have about ASPD.
In reality, it’s the opposite. Azula being an expert at hiding her feelings is made clear so that we understand why she doesn’t look terrified, or vulnerable, or sad, or hurt until the finale when she finally cracks and her facade slips.
All she has at her disposal to protect herself is her wits (she had a knife and some Dai Li, but she has neither by this point). She smartly uses what she knows about Sokka to exploit his weakness and buy herself time. She’s so good at getting under his skin (which takes a sophisticated level of weaponized empathy) that even after he figures out what she’s doing, Sokka still can’t help himself.
This is all she can do to protect herself and her father. We as the audience know that Sokka and Toph aren’t going to kill or maim her, but Azula doesn’t!
So why in the world was this scene received as traumatic for Sokka?
Fans will claim that Azula’s mind games in this scene left Sokka with lasting trauma. That this is emotional abuse.
But who is the one pinned to the wall with no way to defend herself? Who is the one with weapons to threaten her with, and powerful allies who have it out for her?
If Sokka experienced any lasting trauma from this altercation, he sure never showed it! Sokka never seems to think much about Azula at all outside of wanting a rematch when it’s presented at the Boiling Rock. And even that is due to his feelings of inadequacy after the invasion. He even makes fun of Suki for being captured by Azula! Doubt he would do that if she had genuinely been tortured or if Sokka had been so traumatized by this scene.
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Suki: Are you trying to get on my bad side?
Meanwhile, Katara does seem to have lasting trauma over her repeated altercations with Zuko. She talks about how he chased them all around the world threatening them. She refuses to trust him after he betrays her and fears he will get Aang killed. Zuko did hire an assassin.
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In what universe can we read Zuko and the pirates threatening a helpless Katara as “romantic” but the scene with Sokka and Toph threatening a helpless Azula as “traumatic for Sokka”?
Only a universe where we have already subconsciously decided we are on Zuko and Sokka’s side.
These scenes can only be read that way if we have already decided Zuko isn’t that bad regardless of how Katara feels about what he does to her, and that Azula is pure evil regardless of what anyone does to her.
It’s a world where both Azula and Katara’s feelings are ignored.
If you want to read the pirate scene as romantic? Have fun. Enjoy your fics. It’s all good.
But let’s not pretend Zuko is some pure woobie in this scene that just needs some Katara loving, while Azula is some fearless psychopathic monster that enjoys putting herself in danger as long as she gets to “abuse” Sokka.
There’s a reason these two scenes exist this way. Katara and Zuko are parallels just as Azula and Sokka are. Katara and Azula are foils just like Sokka and Zuko are.
Fandom can and should do better by Katara and Azula. They deserve just as much consideration and empathy for their suffering and unmet needs as their brothers do. Even if Azula was a villain - so was Zuko for most of the show!
And as a pretty consequence, I can say this: Zutara and Sokkla are equally viable.
Goodnight, shippers.
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swamp-chicken · 2 months
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distant worlds, ethubs, 2042 words
“You know, I really should have established a timeline for how long I would be your employee,” Bdubs sighs, stocking boxes with enderpearls. “Because I’m sure not doing this forever.”
Etho is sitting at his desk, idly doodling in the corner of his accounting book. “Aw, you’re not?”
Bdubs stretches, cracking his neck. “No! I need to go and build stuff! Make things! I have my own life, you know.”
Bdubs’ pink shorts are riding up a little. Etho tries not to look. “Mmhmm.” he says instead, his go-to when he loses track of a conversation. The doodle on his accounting book is starting to look suspiciously like a series of little hearts. Etho hastily scribbles them out. 
‘You know, you don’t have to sit here and supervise me. I’m not going to wreck your shop or anything.”
“Yeah, but…” But it’s been years since Etho has had Bdubs like this, working at his side. 
Bdubs sighs dramatically. “You don’t trust me?!”
Etho spirals the pen around the page. “You’re a trainee, I gotta keep you on the straight and narrow.” In this case, lying is less pathetic than telling the truth.
Bdubs huffs, but doesn’t argue. They subside back into silence, Etho stifling a smile at the muffled expletive Bdubs lets out when a shulker box closes on his hand. 
The pen travels across the page.
Years ago, a day like this wouldn’t have been so rare. 
 ———
Bdubs was humming and hawing over Etho’s newly-constructed bridge.
“It’s bad,” Etho sighed.  “You can say it’s bad.”
“No, no, no,” Bdubs chided. “No one’s saying that. It just needs a little… umm…“ he rummaged through his inventory, then brightened. “Leaves! Dude, just add some leaves.” He scattered some across the bridge railing with a flourish. “See? Fixes everything.”
Etho hummed, unconvinced. “And then maybe some… trap doors under those?”
Bdubs clapped his hands. “Oh yes, that’ll do it.”
Etho placed the trap doors and stepped back to take in the full picture alongside Bdubs. “I dunno…”
Bdubs’ hand dropped to his shoulder and squeezed. His touch was distractingly warm. “It looks great! Very rustic.” 
Etho tilted his head. It did look a little better than before. 
Satisfied that today’s job was mostly done, he went to go empty his inventory. Bdubs decided to stick around as he worked. He had been doing that a lot more lately. 
Etho put away the final stack of cobblestone and cleared his throat. “There’s actually, uh, something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Oh, yeah?” Bdubs was tooling around on Beyonc, showing off her elegant lines and five-block jump.
Etho watched them circle the area and tried to breathe through his sudden spike of anxiety.“Remember the game we worked on? In the modded server?”
Bdubs kicked Beyonc into a flying leap that landed her on top of Etho’s chest stack. “How could I forget? All those hours wasted!”
“Well, yeah.” Etho chewed his lip. “I was actually thinking of building something like that here. In vanilla.”
“You can do that? With redstone?”
Etho shrugged. “I can try.”
Bdubs snorted. “Friggin’ genius.”
“The thing is, though…”
Bdubs nudged Beyonc forward and she landed gracefully before Etho.
“The thing is though…” Etho continued. “I actually may need help—” 
“I’ll do it,” Bdubs interrupted, before Etho had even finished his sentence. 
“You sure?” Etho hesitated. “I don’t want you to put you on the spot or anything…”
“Of course!” Beyonc reared and Bdubs sat comfortably astride her. “We’ll do it together. As a team.”
It was Etho’s first time leading a big project, so he wanted it to do things right. He chose the location and dug out the area himself. He even decided to build a worker’s shack where he and Bdubs could sleep and store all of their materials. 
In retrospect, Etho thought as he mapped out the floorplan, marking two separate bedrooms for him and Bdubs, he shouldn’t have been nervous about inviting Bdubs to join. Bdubs was a kind person and they had already tackled several projects together.
Etho paused. So kind that he probably felt like he couldn’t turn Etho down. So kind that he unflinchingly put up with all of Etho’s various idiosyncrasies and insistences. So kind that, any time they had a disagreement, he would capitulate with a laugh, easy and unbothered.
“You don’t have to help,” Etho blurted the first time Bdubs came to visit the worker’s shack. 
Bdubs was standing in the doorway of the bedroom Etho had built for him, but still a glimmer of uncertainty crossed his face. “What, you don’t want me here?”
There was a lump in Etho’s throat. “No, I just…I don’t want to force you into anything.”
Bdubs placed his bed down in the room like a declaration. “There’s no forcing.” He met Etho’s gaze and smiled, so warmly that Etho felt it in his chest. “I’m gonna decorate this place so good.”
Etho had worked with Bdubs before, but he had never lived with him. It was different, not having to say their goodbyes at the end of the day.  Instead, they walked back to the worker’s shack side by side, chattering about everything and nothing. It was different, waking up in the morning and finding Bdubs already in the kitchen, sleep-mussed and cooking, asking Etho how he liked his eggs. 
It was different— Bdubs’ toothbrush in the bathroom, the wet puddle after he showered. The flowers that appeared in the windowsill and the laughter that echoed through the halls. Prepared meals, easy company, warm nights of doing nothing much but enjoying each other’s presence.
It was a different kind of torture, Etho learned, having Bdubs so near and liking him so much. He was too kind, making eggs just the way Etho liked, telling stories that made him laugh, helping unflinchingly with the enormous task of building this arena. He was so kind that Etho couldn’t help falling in love with him. 
Nights were the worst, were the time when Etho felt furthest from any semblance of rationality or self-control. Lying in bed, staring through the darkness, he felt hyperaware that Bdubs lay just a short distance across the hall. So kind that he just might let Etho climb into bed with him. 
Etho rolled over and willed himself to sleep. 
Days passed, and then weeks. Spring was pushing into summer and the days were getting hotter. One particular day the heat was so oppressive that it even invaded the underground bunker where Etho had been doing most of the redstone wiring. 
When the sweat started dripping into Etho’s eyes, he had no choice but to take a break. He stood, wiping sweat from his face with his shirt bottom, and took a deep draught from his water bucket.
Bdubs, he knew, was probably even worse off. He was building outside in the blazing sun. Etho decided to check on him. He felt bad that Bdubs was working so hard on a project that Etho himself wasn’t certain they could finish. 
The end of the season had been announced a week ago and since then they had been scrambling to complete the arena before they had to leave this world and go to the next. There was a pit in Etho’s stomach every time he thought about it. This had happened to them last time, and now it was happening on the project that he was leading— the project that he had roped Bdubs into, that they had spent so much time on.
The worst part, though, was leaving their home. Etho didn’t know when he had started calling the worker’s shack home, but he had. It certainly felt more like home than any other place he had built on the server. He couldn’t deny that was in a large part due to Bdubs’ presence. 
He didn’t know what the next world would hold. He didn’t know if he would find an excuse to live with Bdubs again. He didn’t even know if Bdubs would want to work with him again, especially after this project had turned out to be such a thankless grind.
Etho found Bdubs building on the outskirts of the arena. He was shirtless, sweat beading along his shoulderblades. The sight was so overwhelming that Etho almost turned to leave.
Bdubs was grunting with the effort of building a wall, dropping blocks into place. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard,” Etho ventured once he felt more in-control. “I’m not even paying you.”
Bdubs put his blocks down with a heavy sigh. “You think at this point my ego’s not all tied up in this too?”
Etho snorted and drew near. “Good point.” This close, he could see the smile lines crinkling at the corner of Bdubs’ eyes. “Want a break?” He held out his water bucket and a snack. 
“Golden carrots!” Bdubs exclaimed. “You spoil me.”
He took the water bucket first, though, and drank from it deeply. Etho’s eyes were drawn to his throat as he swallowed, to the sweat droplets that chased each other down his torso. 
“Ahh,” Bdubs sighed, refreshed, and Etho snapped his gaze upwards. “Do you mind?” Bdubs asked, gesturing to the water.
Etho shook his head, confused, but before he had much time to ponder, Bdubs was tipping the bucket over his own head, sending water crashing down around him. 
Etho squawked and hopped backwards out of the splash zone.
“Oh,” Bdubs groaned, “Oh, that feels so good.” His hair was dripping, plastered to his head. Water was still sheeting down his body and soaking into his jeans. His eyes fluttered open and he caught Etho’s shocked gaze. He blinked. “You said you didn’t mind!” 
There was a note of petulance in Bdubs’ voice that wouldn’t have been there a few months ago, before they had started living in each other’s pockets. Before Bdubs—before he was comfortable—
Something inside Etho snapped. 
Bdubs lifted the bucket uncertainly, “I can get more water, I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
Etho carefully took the bucket out of Bdubs’ hands. 
“…Etho?” Bdubs was stepping back awkwardly, falling back on those sloppy forms that had gotten him killed by Etho more than once.
Etho grabbed Bdubs’ hand and Bdubs froze, blinking up at him from under his soaked fringe, eyes soft and worried. 
“You—“ Etho tried. “I—“ His ears burned with embarrassment.
He gave up on speaking and pulled the mask underneath his chin, pressed his lips to Bdubs’ hand.
“Oh,” Bdubs said. So kind that he didn’t pull away.
Etho turned Bdubs’ hand and pressed a lingering kiss to his palm.
“Oh,” Bdubs said again, voice hushed. “You don’t— do you?”
———
Etho wants to reach out, wants to take Bdubs hand, but he can’t. He’s too afraid Bdubs will run through his fingers like water, melt away like he has so many times before.
Bdubs is squirmy that way, surprisingly hard to pin down. One minute he’s swearing his eternal devotion, the next he’s mocking Etho, eyes gleaming with mirth. There’s months and years he’s not even there at all, times when he’s nothing but a sore spot in Etho’s memory. 
That day in the unfinished arena, Bdubs had kissed him. His hair had dripped into Etho’s eyes. Etho hadn’t thought anything of kindness that night when they curled together, Etho’s chin propped on his chest. Bdubs was too busy looking at him like he was a puzzle he had found the last piece to. 
Things change, Etho knows. That world ended, a new one began. Bdubs never kissed him again. 
It can never be like what it once was, Etho fears. Here is too distant from there.
“Done!” Bdubs announces. “Your enderpearls are all sorted. Now can I leave?”
Etho sighs, but he doesn’t have any good reason to keep Bdubs longer. “Yeah, that should be it for today.” 
Bdubs is already packing his inventory. He pauses on his way out the door. “You know, you didn’t even comment on my uniform.”
Etho is caught off guard. “I—I didn’t?”
Bdubs gives a spin. His legs are on full display. “I made it just for you!”
Etho swallows. When he meets Bdubs’ gaze, he winks. “I’ll see you tomorrow, boss.”
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damnfandomproblems · 5 months
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Fandom Problem 4387:
I'm not really sure when this change happened but at some point people decided that the burden of not interacting with anyone you don't want to interact with lies with everyone EXCEPT yourself.
We see this in DNIs, that range from "no racists / no Nazis" to "you must have the exact same opinions on every single cartoon as me". (First off, do you really expect extremist bigots to respect your DNI? That people like that just won't bother you if you ask them not to? If anything DNIs function only as a virtue signaling tool to tell people we deem Good People that we are also Good People.)
Just friggin use the block button, that's the only reliable way to make sure you never have to see or talk to anyone you don't want to, be it because they're racist extremists or because you don't like their headcanons about your favorite anime character, wherever you decide to draw the line at.
Another way is people yelling at people for "making gross fanfic and fanart!!" just, don't click it then? wtf it's not hard.
But bottom line, this is the internet. Before you even log in anywhere you need to prepare for the possibility that you're gonna see some cursed shit sooner or later. It's just part of being online. Shock sites have been around forever. "But the kiiidsss!!!-" shouldn't even be ON here if they aren't able to manage themselves.
Also this whole attitude that "everyone adult is an eeeviil pedophile groomer out to get you, EXCEPT *ME* OF COURSE YOU CAN TRUST *ME*, I AM YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN BE TRUSTED!" Is DEFINITELY going to make it much easier for actual predators to hide in plain sight. Also? People could just be lying? Anyone could SAY they're a minor, to get the trust of other minors. IF kids are going to be on the internet, at least give them the tools to protect themselves. This means, don't list out every single thing that could be used to identify you and then slap "pedos DNI!!!" at the end and expect them to just leave, cause that's not gonna work. And don't assume everyone is always being honest, someone could SAY they're 15 and trans to try to relate to you, but you can't be sure WHO they are really, so don't give out any information that could be used against you.
And no, it's not "victim blaming" to say we should teach kids basic internet safety, any more than it would be "victim blaming" to teach kids not to dart into a busy street. "Stranger danger" isn't new but it sure seems like a lot of people have forgotten about it. Everyone has a responsibility to keep themselves safe. If someone--of any age--can't handle that responsibility THEY SHOULD NOT BE ONLINE.
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errihaienx · 1 year
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part two !
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Rintarō Suna reminded himself that he needed to be more patient with the miyas because you'd been so very close to them. He's been keeping his biggest crush on you hidden for years, and he's not going to tell either of the twins about it.
you initially met and became friends with osamu, but his twin, atsumu, was a bit closer to you now because of his more cheery nature. suna was aware of this, which is why he continues to keep up with 'atsumus shits'.
like now, atsumu's been whining for ten minutes now and it seemed like it won't end anytime soon. suna glanced at you, your bright smile made his heart thump. he's well damned annoyed to atsumu's nonstop talks but seeing you laugh and make fun of the blond guy erased his inward curses towards the older twin.
"been tryna get her digits but she friggin' ignored me?!?" atsumu whined.
"hey don't be too upset 'tsumu, maybe you're not her type? we girls have types, you know.. "
suna listened intently to everything you said; he's interested, so very curious. he looked at you again, and this time you caught his gaze.
damn she's lookin' at me, can we just kiss already? were his first thoughts. still staring at each other, he slowly gave you a nod, and you smiled in return. he planned on making the eye contact last longer but atsumu-the-forever-interfering-bastard got in his way, he snatched your attention, well he better say something interesting!
"oh what's yer type then?" atsumu curiously asked, and suna can't believe it but he's actually praising atsumu for asking that. his intervening was a bit helpful after all.
although he's eager to know your 'type' he's nervous as hell, many variables have been crossing his mind. what if you're too specific on your type and it seems like you were describing someone? how could he handle that? or what if he's literally to far from your standards?
"uhm.." you sucked in a breath before your gaze went to suna, he was staring back so you looked away.
"you're literally the opposite of my type 'tsumu," you responded, stealing some glances to the fox-eyed boy.
"like suna?" osamu interrupted.
atsumu gasped, your eyes widened, suna coughed, and osamu deadpanned.
"what?" osamu added, his brow shot up.
no one dared to talk so atsumu laughed, "'samu yer such a mood killer" which made the younger twin show up a middle finger.
suna couldn't look at you and so are you, the twins are really troublesome. suna's thoughts were bombarded with many questions and what ifs.
after a little while had passed and you had decided to walk a different route from the other three, you waved and bid them farewell. suna's eyes were fixed to the ground, refusing to look at you as atsumu hugged you. osamu waved in response.
atsumu smirked and whispered, "hey yer such a sly fox, ya been crushin' on her don't ya?"
"shut up douchebag" = yeah bastard, it's been fuckin' years
"how can ya be noisy 'n nosy at the same time?"
"fuck off 'samu! ya know damn well that i'm ^@#^@#^@#&^#^&#@"
suna disregarded atsumu's following litanies because he was preoccupied with you—with your soothing voice, your beautiful face, and the sparkling eyes he was able to capture looking back at him.
to get closer to you, he'll have to increase his patience with the twins from now on.
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this was just another random thought since I'm inlove with Sunrin lol. Anyway, I'll be reaching 100 followers very soon and I can't wait to share the content I've been working on for this milestone! Thank you very much. Always be careful, my loves!
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anonymoosen · 2 months
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hi! I'm bored and so I was wondering to drop this in your inbox!--
who r your favorite tumblr artists, both activated and deactivated? also good job on reaching 102 followers in like what- 5 months??? congrats!!! (I wish I was like u I've I've trying so hard and I only got like 20+ and its been a whole fucking year ANYWAY-)
AHHHDHEJD YOU RLLY DESERVE MORE FOLLOWERS, YKNOW!!
ANYWAY- I HAVE SOOOO MANY FAVOURITE ARTISTS ARE CUZ THEYRE ALL SO FRIGGIN AMAZINGGG AHHHHH- IM JUST GONNA LIST DOWN LIKE 10 OR SOMETHING- (not ranked by order, I’m just listing them down hehe-)
@circusfreakk @rainybow8231 @laazytoaster @bonniecupcake @theautumnalcat @mushy-madness @merchuu @aceisew @ditzdove @porcelainfreak-zacrucian @strawowoberry @spaceboibrainrot @ghoul-ish-art @vinililacart @ematooney @reynaruina @nohemi650
THERE ARE LITERALLY SO MANY MORE BUT THE LIST WLD GO ON FOR ALMOST FOREVER IF I LIST ALLL OF THEM
AND SOME OF THEM ARENT MY MUTUALS AND IM SCARED OF RANDOMLY TAGGING THEM BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT MORE PPL TO KNOW ABOUT THEIR BLOGS SO IM GONNA LIST SOME NAMES-
@inimoose @moringmark @shandzii @bamsara @cosmicriff @l-ii-zz @emositecc @pichichustudios
THEIR BLOGS ARE THE ONES IVE BEEN STALKING (OTHER THAN MUSHY, REYNARUINA, BONNIE AND STRAWOWOBERRYS BLOGS) WAYYYY BEFORE I EVEN HAD AN ACCOUNT AND I LOVE THEIR ART SO FRIGGIN MUCH EVEN IF ITS NOT ART ABOUT THE FANDOMS IM IN
(THEY DONT KNOW MY EXISTENCE AND IM TOO SHY TO TALK TO THEM SINCE MOST ARE IN DIFF FANDOMS NOW AHHH)
AND LASTLY THIS VERY VERYYYY SPECIAL PERSON WHOS MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER IS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED ARTISTS IN THE MULTIVERSE AND I ADORE HER SO FRIGGIN MUCH THAT I MADE HER BDAY GIFT ART FOR ME MY PHONE WALLPAPER:
@peachiedookie-deactivated202402
SHE DEACTIVATED HER ACCOUNT BUT HER ART CAN STILL BE SEEN IF U SEARCH FOR THE TAG #PEACHIEDOOKIE ON MY BLOG
ANYWAYYY- I THINK I MISSED SOME EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NAMES WAAAHHHHHHJDJEJDEJ
(IMPORTANT MENTIONS: @ijustlikeiz @electronicribbonfashion @zims-left-antenna FOR BEING AMAZIM MUTUALSSS!! I ADORE THEM AND THEYRE MY ZIMPAIS TOO)
AGAIN THANK YOU TO THE 102 FOLLOWERS I HAVE (WHO ARENT BOTS LOL) FOR FOLLOWING ME!! AND THANK YOU TO THE ZIMPAIS IVE LISTED DOWN FOR INSPIRING ME SO FRIGGIN MUCH!!
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arthur-r · 2 years
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call me gregor samsa cause i keep having the type of unsettling dreams to wake me up changed in my bed to a monstrous vermin
#this is vaguely a vent i am so sorry#i know i said a couple weeks ago that when i metemorphosis reference i’m like. fine. but these dreams were genuinely so unsettling#i’m always at my school building i don’t know where to go except my one teachers classroom#and every time im on the way there without fail something terrifying happens#the one i just woke up from there was a kid knocking on the windows and pointing at there was claws emerging out of the ground#like something really scary had got buried and i said out loud in my dream hey listen i’m not gonna open the door cause either this is a bad#prank or this is the start of a terrifying dream. so no thank you. but a different kid opened the door#and the monster turned out to be a wolf but it was focused on me specifically. like i managed to get away but instead of chasing the hordes#of all the other students of my school running away it chased me specifically. like dream monsters always do#i hate having enough self awareness that i knew that monster was going to be the start of a bad dream. but not enough to change anything#anyway my sixth grade teacher was also there. in the hallway when i was on the way to my other teachers classroom#hey here’s a thing that happened: my mom asked if i can stay after every monday in his room. hey here’s another thing that happened:#my parents have been fighting so much that there’s no way i’m not staying after at least that much#and i think that if all i do there is stay after then i’m great and i’m golden. problems arise when i fall asleep in his class#can’t do that if i’m not in his friggin class. and he genuinely is the kindest adult to me ever and so my feelings are forever complicated#but at the end of the day i’m having dreams where monsters chase me toward his classroom. so. let’s see if i get any other adult role models#and then i can make a priority list. anyway i have work today. killing biting. different vent post to make#anyway it should go good actually. there’s just a lot of stuff hanging over my head#but hey i am very long overdue to watch the next episode of married at first sight. so. let me remove myself from this vent and be regular#and i am sorry for venting. this was just a very hard way to wake up#me. my post. mine.#delete later#vent cw#ask to tag for anything else
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tiktaalic · 5 months
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no little american boy don't succumb to the idea of christian heaven as something that doesn't need interrogated as a happy ending in a narrative that has always been about going against god's wishes!!
My god Dude this road goes on for friggin forever
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commander-rahrah · 3 months
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Talking to the Moon: Part VI
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~4800 Warnings: slightly suggestive, swearing, blood, non-con touching (Cazador touching reader), some borrowed in game dialogue, canonical warnings apply!
archiveofourown: here
masterlist: here
part I: here part II: here part III: here part IV: here part V: here
Summary: Set in Act III, after you arrive in Baldur's Gate and have met some of Astarion's siblings but not yet confronted Cazador. Astarion struggles with inner turmoil as he is suddenly thrusted back into the clutches of his old master's influence.
Notes: Long time no update! Long story short December was the month where everything was bad and everything hurt - ER hospital visits and many, many days laying in bed and on the couch very unmotivated and just wanting to feel better! I am very grateful to be feeling better and up to writing as my fics is one of my favorite creative outlets! So thank you for being patient between updates! I really appreciate it and any kind of interaction like a reblog, like or comment truly makes my friggin' day!
So this update and the next chapter will be focused on confronting Cazador! I have had these thoughts and ideas to add more to the in-game scenes since the very first time I played it! I was doing a multiplayer save with my fiancé and the second we finished Astarion's quest (I sobbed the entire time btw) I stayed up all night writing all my thoughts onto my notes app. I didn't even intend to write into a fic back then, I just wanted the outlet of writing it all down to help with how emotional I was feeling about it all! And now a few months later, I have a fic with over 30k words. Aha... whoops!
Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this update and the slight changes and add-ons I've added to this final part of Astarion's quest. I honestly teared up writing parts of it, because Astarion and his and my Tav's story means so much to me, I couldn't help it. ALSO, I don't plan on these being the last updates since it is the "end" of Astarion's quests. I still have plans for this Tav/Reader and Astarion yet. Not enough kissing and happiness had happened yet!! Just some angst and pain has to happen first.
As always, reblogs and comments are very very appreciated ♡♡♡
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You had wandered the streets of Baldur’s Gate before. Long before the nautiloid, in your time living in the city you had explored as much of the exciting city as you could. But never like this.
Your party had taken every cobblestone street, every back alley and shortcut. Astarion lead the way for most of them, pointing things out and sharing antidotes with you.
But you noticed how his smile strained at times, that he was wearing down the stitches on his leather pants from his fingers picking them nervously. At night when you slept side by side you’d wake to him trembling and muttering through a nightmare, which had become more frequent since you stepped into the city boundaries.
The vampire has been so sure of the next step in the Shadowlands and Wyrm’s Crossing. But now anytime you neared the streets leading to Cazador’s castle, he was turning on his heel and looking at one of your companions to ask what they needed to do instead.
Meeting his siblings days ago had been eye-opening. You thought you understood what he had gone through, that the memories he had described to you, and even shown you through the tadpoles, was enough. But after seeing how controlled and manipulated Petras and Dalyria had been… What they were being forced to do…You couldn’t bring yourself to picture Astarion like that.
You couldn’t imagine the turmoil and anguish going through your lover — seeing his siblings, being in the city again in a way he never thought he would, being so close to seizing power that could change his fate forever. You hadn’t voiced that every time he mentioned taking the ritual for himself fear stabbed in your belly. You knew what was motivating him to even consider the choice — outright fear and the call of power that was easily addicting. But too many things in his life has been decided for him… so you didn’t voice that to him, instead insisting that you only needed for him to be safe and happy. You trusted him to make the right choice.
You did trust him. You loved him.
And you showed him as such — throughout the day as you laced your fingers through his, as you rolled your neck for him to feed, as you curled into each other to sleep.
And he had been returning that trust and love back.
He had continued to expand his boundaries with you, slowly but surely as the days went on. Your quiet time together after a long day, you were a reprieve he sought out over and over. You whispered and giggled with each other between kisses in your shared bed in the Elfsong Tavern — tucked into the corner and hidden behind privacy screens. Privacy screens that Karlach had loudly dragged over before giving you both a very unsubtle wink. Then she did the same for her and Shadowheart.
The teasing had been relentless.
You still hadn’t taken those final steps, and you were in no rush too. Astarion’s happiness and agency was the most important to you, always. Yet, you couldn’t help the way your heart thundered and breath got higher as he slowly explored any kind of touch and intimacy with you again.
You were laid together now, draped across each other — you only in your night clothes and Astarion in very thin linen pants. You were pressed gently on top of him, your voice and lips whispering across his pale skin as he pointed his fingertip to various parts of his body. His new game he had started that night — seemingly convinced that he would find a part of himself that you did not love.
Utterly impossible — but you indulged him anyways.
“Even this? You like this?” He pointed to his knobby elbow.
"Hmm,” You hummed approvingly, pressing a gentle peck to the bare, taut skin of his bent joint.
His low laughter rumbled through both of you, shaking you slightly. “I’m running out of ideas.”
You eyed him greedily, “I’m not. You’ve missed some of your best parts.”
“Have I?” He cocked a brow, a smirk spreading across his face. “Alright, go on then.”
“I can—?”
“Mhmm,” He nodded his head against the silk pillow, settling himself deeper into the mattress under your weight.
Swallowing, you took him in underneath you and felt your mind start whirring. Slow, patient, soft — you reminded yourself. You gently touched his jawline, the tip of your finger following the strong line. “Here.”
Then your forefinger and thumb rubbed the cartilage on the tops of his ears, “Here.” His mouth fell open deliciously with that one.
“Here,” You caressed the mole on his cheek with a swipe of your thumb.
You continued your movements, so drawn into him that you didn’t notice his red eyes blazing as they flickered between watching your hand and watching your face.
Your fingers gracefully dragged across him. His Adam’s apple. His knuckles. Collarbone. Inner wrist.
“I told you, there is no part of you that I do not like. Every inch of you I want to—“ You cut yourself off. Perhaps that was too much. This was a fun, teasing game — exploratory and gentle. You hadn’t meant to make it about your own desire and arousal.
He swallowed, his mouth hanging open slightly, “You want to what?”
You let out a fake cough, lifting yourself off of him slightly with a blush crossing your cheeks. “Well, I—“
A grin spread across his face, “Oh, I love it when you get all coy.” He purred, pulling you back before you could fully get away. “Tell me, please.” He whispered.
“There isn’t an inch of you that I don’t wish to kiss. To taste.” You admitted huskily, the heat on your face spreading to your neck.
The groan that escaped him made the fire in your belly sputter even hotter.
“Show me?” He asked softly, but his tone was slightly more sultry than before.
“Sho—show you?”
He nodded before fidgeting under you to display himself more — stretching out his neck, spreading his arms out.
“May I—“
“Darling,” He said the pet name a tad exasperated as his slowly closing eyes snapped to yours. “This was my idea. You don’t have to ask every time.”
“Yes, I do.” You insisted.
He rolled his eyes playfully, shaking his soft curls, “Really—“
But you cut him off. “Astarion, I do. I will continue to. It’s important to me. I never want you to do something you don’t want. I never want to make you feel like that with me.”
“You haven’t. I know you wouldn’t.” He trailed his pale fingers through the hair hanging in front of your face as you hovered over him. He tucked it behind your ear.
“I know it seems like a silly question, especially between us but I want you to know you can—“
It was his turn to cut you off, silencing you with a reassuring kiss. He was looking at you with astonishment when you finally opened your eyes from the deep kiss. “What ever did I do to deserve you my lovely moon?”
You smiled tenderly down at him, “Perhaps it was fate.”
“Hmm," His red eyes blinked slowly, "I used to despise that sentiment.”
“And now?”
Astarion gave you one of the most tender smiles you'd ever seen. “I think you might be right.” He ran his fingers gently down your cheek before letting out a dramatic puff. “Now, stop turning me into a sappy lovesick fool and kiss me already.” He growled playfully.
"As you wish, love." You mumbled as you pressed your lips to his.
• • •
You woke with a stir, the weight of the mattress shifting suddenly and then the sound of scuffling feet. Astarion was standing in front of the bed — in front of you defensively, still only in his night pants with his bare chest rising and falling quickly. A dagger was closed in his fist, aimed in front of him of threateningly. “Stop right where you are.” His voice was commanding like it had never been before, but you could still hear a twinge of uncertainty in it.
“You know why we’re here, brother.” A low, masculine voice said — seemingly coming from the dark shadows in the corners of the large suite.
Astarion's stance grew wider, his grip on his dagger tightening until his already pale knuckles turned white. “Come any closer to us and it will be the last thing you do.”
Peering over your lover's figure, you found four pairs of glowing red eyes studying you intently. The hairs on the back of your neck and arms started to stand up.
"I mean it - get the hells away from us!" Astarion growled again, his hand blinding reaching back for you. You laced your fingers through his and a protection spell was on your lips seconds later, muttered quietly until you felt the magical aura surround him.
The rest of your companions were up on their feet after Astarion's shout, pushing in towards your bed, edging around it in a protective semi-circle. Most of them were scantily clad in only undergarments and nightclothes - but all of them had their hands glowing with magic or weapons drawn. Fury was etched on every one of their faces from the intrusion and threat.
One of the female vampires eyed the rest of your group, counting and calculating. Then she raised her hands up, "We come in peace, brother."
"You call this peace, Aurelia?" He frowned at her. Your grip on him tightened as you stood up and tried to go to his side, but he stepped in front of you protectively once again.
A male stepped forward slightly, his mouth and eyes ruby red with deep scars carved over his skin, trailing down his chin. It was a terrifying sight. But his voice did not match his appearance, and instead was laced with desperation and hope. "The master needs all seven us for the ceremony. Come with us and be reborn. We'll live again."
The suite remained deadly silent. Like you all were waiting to see who would make the first move, who would let loose a spell or swing a blade first.
But it was your meek voice that broke the silence, "How did you find us?"
Their red eyes snapped instantly to you, but it was one of his sister's who spoke. "Master Cazador has known where Astarion was this entire time — where both of you were. He has been watching carefully since you arrived in the city."
"You know what our master will do to them.” His scarred brother warned, nodding his head towards you. His eyes almost looked... sad.
“He won’t get the chance, Leon.” Astarion snarled back.
Leon raised his hands defensively, "We aren't here for them. We are here about the rite. The master needs you. You must attend."
Astarion scoffed, "Oh, I am well aware of what the master needs. But don't we all deserve better?" His features were contorted in a strange mixture of emotion. "After these centuries of torment, I know what you all want. More then power. More than to walk in the sun. You want to see him dead."
The desire for revenge, for Cazador's death, did not surprise you. He had said as much, and bluntly too. You had agreed that Cazador deserved such a fate after the years of abuse and exploitation he had forced upon Astarion.
"If you think I will be a willing sacrifice for him and his deranged ritual, you really are stupidly blinded by him."
"Sacrifice?" Aurelia stepped forward, shaking her head. "No, this is our way to cheat undeath."
"Is that the lie he told you?" He sneered.
"I-"
Astarion's lips curled up, "You're all fools. You think he cares about us? You think he will grant us such power? We are nothing but pawns to be slaughtered for the king — one final, grand maneuver so he can win the game."
His four siblings shook with disbelief. "The master doesn't need to lie to us. He controls us, fully. Why go through the trouble of giving us hope..."
Leon got there first, his face crumbling. "Because its more cruel... shit."
The vampires exchanged a look — a look between siblings that you knew well. One that you had shared with your own brother many times. A silent conversation had happened between them in an instant.
"That manipulative bastard." The other female finally spoke, her words a hiss between her fanged teeth.
"How did we not see this?"
Leon squared his shoulders, moving his red eyes to look back at his free brother. "Astarion is right... because we are blind fools."
"We must go before he compels us too— agghhh." Aurelia grabbed her head, her expression one of excruciating pain. "Aggghhhhh!"
"Take her." Leon commanded the other siblings who looped their arms around her, dragging her away as she fought them. But he lingered behind them for a moment, stopping to look over his shoulder and study the pair of you. To look at the rest of your companions surrounding you defensively. "Help us, brother." His voice was a whispered plea, his terrifying, red eyes wide and shining. Then with a loud crack and a sudden puff of red, they were gone.
A collective sigh escaped your party as they disappeared, spells extinguished and weapons dropped down to their sides before they turned to face both of you.
Astarion’s shoulders sagged as he realized his family had indeed left. He all but collapsed into your side, burying his face into the crook of your neck as you held him back. Really, as you held him up.
You stroked his hair as he murmured into your shoulder, “Tomorrow. This ends tomorrow.”
“Okay, my love. We’ll be with you the whole way.” You whispered into his pointed ear, returning the concerned expression of your companions watching as your hold on Astarion tightened a bit more.
• • •
Whatever you do... I just don't want to die down here.
Sebastian’s voice was echoing in his ears, his mind, and creeping down into parts of him he had just barely started to recognize again. Parts of him that a few months ago he had deemed long dead. He had to force his pink lips into a firm line just to stop them from trembling. 
This place, his so-called home was his personal hell. Every step through the fading carpets and ostentatiously decorated rooms had gotten harder and harder — until he had started to feel physically ill. Bile was rising in his throat, his back and palms of his hands turning clammy. And now, standing in the secret, buried crypt beneath — it felt like the castle above him was pressing down, screaming at him of what a luxury it had been that he was a prisoner up there and not down here. That voice in his head, that ringing, echoing voice. Gods, he wished it would stop. 
And you... you had been so uncommonly quiet. You who had lent him your strength since the moment he met you, you and your presence a steady reassurance that he had come to depend on. But his little moon who was usually so chatty and poetic, was so quiet. Your eyes were wide as you followed him through Cazador’s castle, your steps clumsy and dazed like he wasn't the only one walking through this twisted nightmare. Perhaps it was for you — realizing the realities of what he had been through.
When Astarion's composure had really started to shake, you snapped back to reality and were with him in an instant. Your warm fingers threading through his icy ones. Your voice, your soft, hushed voice using the smallest amount of words to try and put his cruel mind at ease. The words you had used were choice, but powerful. You insisted that all of this was Cazador's cruelty — not his. 
But how could he believe that as he stood in front of the cells filled with people he had brought his master? How could he deny the role he played in all of this when he could stare into the eyes of all of those victims — the stupid, innocent fools who in a fleeting moment fell for him. 
Especially when he realized how fortunate, how damn lucky, it was that he never stumbled on you on the streets of Baldur’s Gate the past year you'd lived in the city. 
Astarion stood before the precipice of Cazador’s ritual room. The grand doors that would lead to these final moments just a few steps away from him.
The fine outfit he picked for himself suddenly felt unbearably tight and itchy. The lacy neck scratching and digging into his skin, his leather shoes too restricting. He had wanted to use the clothes as a symbol to his old master — look how well I’ve done without you, look who I’ve become without you. His hands became fists at his sides, his knuckles white and half moons appearing on the soft skin of his palms as he squeezed tighter and tighter. The only way to stop them from trembling — with both fear and rage. 
“I'm here for you, love.” You whispered gently, your warm fingers ghosting the sides of his wrists as you stepped in beside him. His fists unclenched slightly as he breathed in your familiar scent, as he savored the soft caress of your skin on his. He pushed down the building sob climbing up through his chest, the urgency of the cry growing as he felt your presence surround him. "Just... remember who you are, Astarion." 
Who was he? It felt even blurrier in this sadistic crypt under the castle he used to call home. Though it never was one. A prison, that's what it was. 
And what version of him did you see? Could he really be what you thought you saw? What you thought he could be?
Astarion had left Baldur's Gate against his will — a tormented, violent, broken thing. A puppet. A slave. He thought he had returned to this city anew — a free male, softer around the edges but no longer a thing to be used. His own person.
Yet the second he felt the influence of Cazador's control, the moment he felt that familiar threat he felt as if he was falling backwards. Being backed into a corner, corralled into the cage and slapped into chains that he had rotted away in for two hundred years. 
He would not go back. 
A shudder went through him as he tried to compose himself once more, taking a deep breath that he knew he did not truly need. Looking sideways at you, he gave you a final nod. "I'm ready for this to be over." 
Something flashed in your eyes, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. You nodded, before following him through the grand doors with the rest of your companions trailing behind. 
The descent down those stairs was brutal. Time seemed to drag to such a slow that it was almost like the scene before them was frozen in time. Astarion could recognize the familiar silhouette of his master anywhere. It had haunted him long enough that he had memorized every harsh line and angle. He loosed a breath as he counted six figures bound and hovering by some form of magic — a seventh spot on the top center left open and waiting.
For him. 
"Could it be?!" The voice that plagued his thoughts, his nightmares and memories echoed throughout the large chamber. It sent hundreds of different feelings throughout his body, his flesh getting goosebumps and steps faltering for a moment on the stone stairs.
"Our prodigal son returned to us!" Cazador's voice was jovial, but there was no mistaking why. The final piece to his game had just delivered themselves to him, the sacrificial lamb for slaughter had seemingly come with no ill intent. 
Astarion would make the vampire bastard regret underestimating him.
He could hear you just steps behind him, the pads of your feet, the familiar thrum of your heart increasing as you both stepped closer and closer to Cazador's place on the central dais. He gritted his teeth, his back molars clenching down so hard he swore he heard a crunch in the back of his mouth. He lowered his head, looking up at the monster that had ruined him through his eyebrows. 
"Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?" Cazador snapped, waving his hand dismissively at him. "Look at you, crawling back after abandoning your family. You should be begging for our forgiveness."
"I will do no crawling, nor begging." Astarion snarled, baring his teeth slightly. "And forgiveness? Really? You have never forgiven anything. Every mistake, every slip was punished."
The bastard had the audacity to roll his red eyes, "I strove for perfection in all things — even those as imperfect as you. A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts." 
"No!!" He roared, stepping forward once more as he pointed his finger. "No, fuck you and fuck everything you've ever done to me!" 
Cazador raised a single dark brow before letting out a humorless laugh, "You stupid, little boy."
"You son of a bitch!" Astarion couldn't stop the explosion of anger that coursed through him and he charged forward. His pale hand formed a fist as he launched himself at Cazador but a flare of red magic suddenly froze him in place. His body stopped completely, caught mid-lunge with his fingers still curled in a punch. 
He heard a strangled whimper from behind him. It was you, the sound one he had rarely heard — one of you paralyzed from fear. 
But the master mercifully ignored you, only having eyes for his spawn. He smirked as he surveyed Astarion trapped in the swell of magic, "Tut, tut." He clicked his tongue, "Did you think it would be that easy?" 
Astarion let out a groan of pain as he tried to resist the red binding power that started to form around him. Tears began to prickle in the corners of his eyes as they began to squeeze and cut into his skin, seeping into him slowly like a dreadful poison. 
"Astarion!!" His name ripped out of you at his pained cries, stepping forward onto the dais to intervene. The agony in your voice was more unbearable then what he was currently suffering. 
He was a fool to bring you here, to ask you to help him. He had served them all to Cazador on a silver platter.  
“Oh?" The ancient vampire's voice had a hint of wicked glee in it as he turned on his heel and set his eyes on you, with the rest of your companions lingering just behind you. Like he had just finally bothered to notice your presence. "And who do we have here? Your little pet, Astarion?” 
You froze in place, but stood up slightly taller. He watched as you jutted your chin forward, setting your shoulders back as you refused to cower in front of him. Even if he could scent your fear from here.  Then the old master slinked around you, his chest almost brushing your back as he inspected you head to toe. Your jaw set as he circled behind you where you could not see, but you did your best to keep your face neutral.  “And what’s this?” Cazador asked with a flicker of false humor. 
Astarion hissed as the vampire stepped even closer, bending down to eye his puncture marks that had scarred on your neck. “You finally gained enough courage to feed from a being capable of thought? Congratulations, spawn.” Then he took in a large inhale, “And quite an appetizing pick too, they smell absolutely delicious."
His glowing red eyes snapped back to Astarion as he remained behind you, looming over your shoulder. He was gauging every reaction from both of you, he knew.
Studying. Calculating. Deducing. 
Like any manipulative vampire would.
"But it seems my dear boy, you’ve been double dipping with this one haven’t you?” He made to grab your silver hair and Astarion felt his mind go berserk.  “DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!” He roared, pulling hard enough on the magical red tethers around him that they flared and flickered for a moment. 
An evil grin contorted his master's fingers as he still put his long fingers through your hair and pushed it behind your ear. The action revealed even more of your neck so he pressed his prominent nose against your pulse point, inhaling deeply. “Your scent is all over them.” You shuddered involuntarily, your face wincing and flinching away at his cold touch.
Astarion growled, his fangs barring and snapping at his old master. “Oh, so upset. They are your favorite little pet aren’t they?" A long finger nail dragged down your jaw. Astarion's eyes were glued to yours, your body seemingly immobilized from fear — for both yourself and him. Cazador cocked his head as he watched the pair of you before letting out a scoff. "You fool, you fell for your snack instead. What a pity... for once I was almost proud of you.”
He finally let you go, wiping the fingers that touched you off on his jacket like you were a worm he had picked up from the dirt. He licked his lips as he approached his spawn again, still frozen with his scarlet magic that buzzed and echoed with authority throughout the entire chamber.  “Well, I can give you one last comfort, since I am such a generous master." He whispered into Astarion's ear, both of their eyes locked onto your worried expression. "Once you and all your siblings are nothing but pulp... I’ll treat your special love extra carefully. I’ll be so lonely since the rest of you will all be gone. But this one… they will make for a delectable companion."
Another growl escaped from deep in his chest, but the sound was caught as Cazador wrapped his long fingers around his pale throat. “It’s a pity I have to lose you. So much work, so much time... gone. But my new companion will do a much better job than you, with a pretty face like that no one would resist? I mean, even you didn’t.” He hissed in his ear. 
"ENOUGH!” You barked, stepping forward closer to him with your mouth and brow set in a hardline. "Release him, Cazador, at once."
The bastard only smirked and snapped around to meet you, "Ha. Or what?"
"This all ends here. You end here." You did not stutter or stumble. Your voice was strong and carried across the chamber. Your companions stepped up behind you, hands moving at their sides as they readied their weapons and spells at your word. 
"Is that so? You are willing to risk death for him? A wasted, mistake of a spawn? A stupid, little boy?"
Your nostrils flared, your eyes shining with familiar power that was now coming off of you in waves, "I would do anything for him."
"Stupid mortal." Cazador barked, his lips curling in disgust. "I forgot how foolish you can be when you fall in "love". But not to worry... I'll train that right out of you." He twirled back around dramatically, looking at Astarion as he held onto his staff tighter. The red magic swirled and brightened around Astarion, squeezing him so tightly he felt as if may be crushed from the inside out. "You truly forgot my power, Astarion. You truly thought our bond as creator and creation was all that stopped you from killing me. You are weak, my child. You are a small, pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything. But today, you will finally do something worthwhile. You will burn, and I will ascend."
The vampire master flicked his wrist, and Astarion was soaring across the room — completing the final spot in the ritual circle. The entire chamber room suddenly lit up with the red light, a enormous sigils swirling underneath Astarion and the rest of his siblings as they hovered in mid air. Their tops suddenly shredded from the force of the spell as their naked, scared torsos were revealed — the scars littered across them glowing the same scarlet as the patterns beneath them.  
"ASTARION!" His name was a roar from your lips again as you surged forward, hands outstretched for him across the ritual floor.  
"Witness the birth of the Vampire Ascendant! Ecce dominus!" Cazador's staff slammed down onto the marked stone floor. 
And pain like nothing Astarion had ever felt went through every part of him. 
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