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sayuri-of-the-valley · 8 months

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On how Crowley and Aziraphale felt during the kiss (but mainly Crowley here):

Ok so first, the main idea for this huge meta is that a LOT of us noticed how the music from the kiss scene is similar to the nebula one, right?

Second, a lot of us also correctly noticed the parallels between the kiss and how it was to taste food for the first time for Aziraphale: bc of his reactions, the hand on lips, the similar way MS acted both scenes, the little inhale etc. So how was it for Crowley?

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss is practically a puzzle to solve on its own, so it's fun to analyse it, but basically, in a few words, Aziraphale kissed Crowley and he discovered he was physically starving for him, longing for him, yearning for him, for his kiss, and he had no idea. Just like with the ox. And now he needs to gorge himself in him but he can't. Great amazing heartbreaking chef's kiss someone give MS an Emmy.

But there's already so much amazing meta out there about Aziraphale x Ox ribs x The Kiss that I want to focus on Crowley here, and on the music.

So back to the music. The song in "Before the Beginning" and the song that plays during The Kiss (I Forgive You + Don't Bother) are so similar. They're not *exactly* the same, but they're totally reminiscent of each other. The viewer is immediately reminded of those chords that played in the opening scene. It's no coincidence that the fandom was talking about this fact only minutes after first watching those final fifteen minutes. This is an obvious intentional choice for storytelling reasons (David Arnold is a genius).

I have no expertise whatsoever when it comes to music, so I asked our friend @otsanda to see if that made sense and not only it does and she explained it, but she also uncovered so much more hidden meaning in all of it (musicians are amazing), so check out her meta about the music that not only serves as evidence to what I'm proposing here but it also has so much more juicy information in it 💖.

Back to the point: WHY thought? Why choose a similar song? Why intentionally COMPOSE a similar song for that moment?

Hear me out. WHAT IF, by reminding the audience of the creation of the nebula, they meant to convey to us that, for Crowley, kissing Aziraphale gave him the same feeling that creating his stars did?

THAT'S what the music is telling us. THAT'S why it makes us remember "Before the Beginning". It may sound cheesy, but Crowley may have literally seen stars when he kissed Aziraphale. He couldn't react accordingly (just like Aziraphale couldn't), bc it was an overwhelming and extremely sad moment (the music is also telling us that) for both of them. They knew it was ending . They were both having a moment of huge revelation that was fated to not come to completion. Crowley was right, it was too late.

It makes sense to show Crowley's feelings through the music, bc he was the one who started the kiss, and also he was wearing sunglasses in that scene, it's different from a character like Aziraphale that has all his million expressions for everyone to see at all times. And they've been doing this ever since s1 with the Queen songs that play in his car or in the background.

So my point is: the same song being used there makes me wonder if kissing Aziraphale finally gave him what he lost. His purpose. What Aziraphale was trying to give back to him by taking him back to heaven. There's no need for Heaven. Just kiss him, Aziraphale, and there he'll find the stars you want to give back to him. There you will one day see that smile on his face you saw Before The Beginning. Neil Gaiman and David Arnold I am in your walls 😭

This is what may lead us to see this happiness in Crowley again (not the action of kissing itself, of course, but what it represents to their relationship, them being together, them being an Us).

As @otsanda said: from the music we can interpret that that moment was a Revelation for them. Almost a religious experience. Crowley found his purpose again. What he'd been missing the whole season (or even his whole life since the Fall, but we've seen him especially depressed this season).

I'm not even getting into the poetry of how one can interpret the parallel to the angel's reaction to the kiss as carnal, and the demon's as religious; that would be another whole essay but let's just agree that it's incredibly beautiful. (Let me be clear that I mean here Aziraphale's reaction is carnal specifically for Crowley, and Crowley's is religious specifically for Aziraphale, not religious as in "worshipping god")

"Do you ever wonder what's the point?" Crowley asked in s2e1. The point, for him, is Aziraphale (if you've seen The Good Place you know what I mean). I hope he figured this out with that kiss, even as heartbreaking as it was. Even if it was a (temporary) separation kiss. (I hope Aziraphale figures this out with time too, that he's more than enough to make Crowley happy, that Crowley doesn't need Heaven, or stars, that Crowley needs him.)

Maybe that's why Crowley didn't leave and kept waiting outside until the very last moment.

Aziraphale and Crowley both bit the apple at the end of s2. There's no turning back from that Knowledge now.

Edit: I just have to add here this brilliant colour analysis of the nebula scene by @halemerry. And it's pointed out that during the nebula formation there's a moment when it looks like two people embracing. And the fact that a similar song is used in the actual Kiss scene I just... I have no words

#good omens 2 #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens kiss #my meta #good omens meta #before the beginning #i forgive you #don't bother #crowley #purpose #knowledge #music #david arnold #reactions to the kiss #the angel's carnal reaction vs the demon's religious experience

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ltbunny · 3 months

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Blind date with ex-husband price. It was like 4 peoples doing. It was your coworkers' yoga instructors, then the yoga instructors' supermarket bag boy and then his girlfriends who set up the date. How did we even get there?

Anyway, your dressed up, all pretty, excited to meet someone new. It's been a while since you've been on a date, a blind one at that, alot of guys take one look and either get too 'excited' or extremely deflated, both of them are horrible, but it's been a while since you've been on the scene after you finally got over your husband...

Annnndd, it's your ex. Fuck he looks good, fresh trim and his shoulders look so broad, he's wearing his 'going out, need to impress shirt'.. damn, he really wanted to appeal whoever his blind date was... maybe it's not to late to leave, he hasnt even no- oh.. his hand is on your lower back

"Sweetheart!" He smiles in a way that doesn't reach his eyes,

"John..." you acknowledge, looking up at him, "dont call me sweetheart."

"Sorry, love, bad habit."

You roll your eyes, but don't correct him. Is he doing it on purpose?

"Well, red bag," He smiles.

"Red tie," you respond

"So we're with each others company for the night then," He grins and looks at you, sheepishly, "well, that's if you want to continue the blind date?" He sounds hopeful...

He leads you to the table. Obviously, he pulls the chair out for you and gives you a bouquet of flowers, its only the gentlemanly thing to do, he says.

It starts off strained but you find yourself picking up the little things he does that you used to love, pointing out your favourite foods in the menu, listening intently to everything you say, stupidly lovey-dovey puppy eyes as he nods along, his hand on yours, stroking his thumb on the back of your hand, he even said some stupid line about 'me n u' and says soap put him up to it, fuck, you missed his laugh. You find yourself asking about the boys, work, it feels like you and price are just on a date night, like you two used to do before the divorce.

He walks you home at the end of the night, he started with hand holding, and now his arm is somehow around your waist, and he's closer than any ex-husband should be, really. When you get up to your apartment, he looks a little nervous,

"I'm not inviting you over for a nightcap, John."

"I know, love," he says smoothly, "just wondering... if it would be appropriate to end the night with a kiss,"

You feel a faint heat in your cheeks, unsure of what to do... after a few seconds, you nod, looking up at him. You feel his hand tentatively reach out for the back of your head, cradling it while he kisses you, you missed this, the tickle of his beard, his big hands on you, soft lips, soft kisses.

You can feel him actively try to hold back tongue, but the way you open your mouth slightly in the kiss makes him go for it immediately. You feel yourself melt. It's so desperate and carnal, but still so soft, like he doesn't want to push it, but it goes on longer than expected, neither of you really wanting to pull away, eventually you pull back, lips sore, heated faces, you wonder if you should withdraw the nightcap thing and just let him in.

"I had a lovely night, sweetheart, I... would really love to see you again." He says with a flushed face, his hand on your lower back again, going in circles.

"Me too, John."

"Text me, okay? We can go to that tex-mex place you really like, or somewhere fancier," he smiles softly, "I wanna see my woman happy."

"Not your woman, John."

"Yet." He says with a grin, leaning down and kissing you softly again, "thank you for giving this a chance, love, ill see you tomorrow, hopefully?"

You nod, and he walks home with a smile. Can't believe you had such a nice date with your ex-husband, thanks coworkers, yoga intructors, bag boys girlfriend...

(You probably wouldn't think it's so sweet if earlier you saw gaz in the back alley with bloody knuckles, after beating up the guy that was meant to be your date, texting price

'all done, sir.'

'Knew I could count on you, garrick.')

#visibly shaking #biting my hand so hard rn #captain john price x reader #john price #john price x reader #x reader #chubby reader #dk what to tag #cod x reader #price x reader #cod mwii

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ambermotta · 4 months

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6 Types of Protection Magick

There are many ways one can do protective magick. In this post I'll be going into 6 of the most common and accessible ones!

Please understand that even one "protection magick type" can be done in an infinity of ways, some of which are closed to certain practices.

Disclaimer: based on my experience and research. I don't claim to know all truth. Further study is encouraged!

_________________♡♤◇♧_________________

#1 — Magic circle

The magic circle consists of creating a protection and delimiting a sacred space for magic and/or ritual.

The magic circle is probably one of the most popular protection methods thanks to its encouraged use in Wicca. However, other traditions have made use of similar concepts, such as in the afro-brazillian Umbanda concept of "chain".

The circle can be physically drawn on the ground, delimited by the members inside the circle, or visualized.

Casting one is fairly simple since it can be done in different ways, either in groups or solitary practice. You can use tools such as wands, chalk or physical objects to draw it, but what matters most is intention and successful visualization.

Before casting a circle it's important to have everything you will need already within grasp and inside the circle, since once created it is advisable that no one leaves it until the work is complete.

#2 — Amulets, and Enchanted Items

Enchanted Items are a very popular and effective form of magic, especially for personal use. These are often common objects that have been enchanted for protection.

They are often necklaces, rings and other jewelry since these are the most practical to carry around without suspicion. However, they can be any object.

Amulets can be created via enchanting, charms, or by asking deities and spirits to bless them with protective qualities.

The material and imagery used to create the talisman is also important in determining the kind of job it wants to do.

#3 — Sigils and other drawn Symbols

Sigils and Symbols can be used both for personal protection and for warding spaces. Here I am also including Runes.

They can be carved into objects, drawn upon skin and surfaces, or even tattooed.

However, before using any sigil, symbol or rune it is of extreme importance that you know exactly what they do, and know as much about them as possible. Especially if you plan on drawing them on your skin (either temporarily or permanently).

Unless specifically used only for protection purposes, inadequate use of them can lead to disaster. Even then, the type of protection they bring can vary.

For example, a protection sigil that works by hiding you from threats is different from a sigil that fights threats that come to you. It's important to set or to know how their protection work so that you do not come across unwanted results.

#4 — Prayer

My definition of praying: focusing on sending a message to a higher spiritual power, be it an entity, deity or energy.

Prayers are a great way of manifesting protection, though since you are asking for it to a higher power you must understand that it may choose to not grant it, or not grant it in the way you expect.

Plus, it is very important to know where you stand with this energy or entity. Do you work with them already? For how long? What is the nature of the relationship? Do you truly know them well enough to ask them for this? Is it really appropriate?

Cultivating a good relationship and having manners can be decisive factors for manifesting this sort of protection. Plus, it's always good to "give back" in some way. To receive something, something must be given eventually.

#5 — Affirmations and Visualizations

Words and the mind have innate power. Affirmations and visualizations are great ways to manifest protections because they rely only on yourself.

They are easier to do right if you use them together with other methods, or if you have physical representations of the work being done. To be successful one must focus, "feel" them happening, and maintaining that without help can be difficult. Frequent practice will help you get the hang of it.

There are also techniques that make affirmations and visualizations both more powerful and easier to accomplish.

#6 — Warding

Warding is when you set up a semi-permanent protection in a specific place, such as your house.

It can be done in many different ways. One of the most common is to have an object or place designated as the "holder" of the ward, which should be well kept.

Warding will be more powerful if you are frequently cleansing the space and recharging the ward. Leaving it alone for too long can weaken in or make it lose its properties altogether.

Some plants are used for this kind of protection, since they (usually) stay in place, can be powerful magical allies, and you'll be checking on them often anyway. The ones usued are often those with thorns, threatening-looking leaves, or even poison.

Note: always be very careful about bringing poisonous plants home, especially if you have children or pets.

Conclusion

This was an overview of the most common types of protective magick. A lot of protection spells and works fall somewhere within these categories, or are a combination of them.

Each tradition has a certain way of going about spiritual protection, so if you are exploring an specific path, I encourage you to not only research about protection in general but to also look into what unique techniques your path has to offer!

Many blessings and thank you for reading! ♡

#witchblr #baby witch #long post #magick #paganism #spirit work #witch tips #witchcraft #pagan tips #baby wiccan #beginner wiccan #wicca #protection magic #warding #magic circle #pagan witch

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rthko · 12 days

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please define camp. I see it said so much to describe anything.

@sougeeee Camp is an an aesthetic sensibility most famously described by Susan Sontag in her 1964 essay, Notes on Camp, where she disclaimed that "to write about camp is to betray it." The term has long been popular in queer circles, but exploded in popularity online with the 2019 Met Gala, themed and named after this essay.

Here are some characteristics of camp:

Camp is failed seriousness. I think a lot of uses of camp lately emphasize the silliness and lightheartedness but play down the melodrama and passion. Sontag writes here that camp "finds the success in certain passionate failures." Failure is a common theme in queer aesthetics and worldviews; as Quentin Crisp said, "If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style." Writing about performance artist Dynasty Handbag, José Muñoz described the "failure" of her work as "not an aesthetic failure but, instead, a political refusal."

Camp is innocent. The camp that is most satisfying to Sontag is not trying to be bad on purpose but dead serious in its grandiose intentions: "naive" camp. To do it on purpose is what she calls "camping," and this is what the Met Gala in 2019 ended up being. As it's been said on here, Karlie Kloss's claim that she was "looking camp right in the eye" was accidentally closer to camp concept of fabulous failure than the look itself. Admiring camp is not to point and laugh but to sincerely appreciate it. Sontag writes: "Camp taste is, above all, a mode of enjoyment, of appreciation - not judgment."

Camp is artifice. It involves a love of the unnatural and exaggerated, and this explains why most drag is not simply female/male impersonation. There's an undue association between femininity and artifice, especially when it comes to trans women, lesbians, working class and racialized women (Julia Serano most famously writes about this as part of the basis for transmisogyny). While it's important to challenge this, some have taken the approach of playing with this in a tongue-in-cheek way. In her essay "Rogue Femininity," Elizabeth Marston writes: "let's say that femme is dispossessed femininity. It's the feminity of those who aren't allowed to be real women and who have to roll their own feminine gender."

Camp is apolitical? One of the first points in Sontag's essay is that "To emphasize style is co slight content, or to introduce an attitude which is neutral with respect to content. It goes without saying that the Camp sensibility is disengaged, depoliticized - or at least apolitical." In a way I agree. This sort of detachment is why George Santos the right wing politician was obviously abhorrent, but George Santos the former drag queen and fallen diva was, unfortunately, very entertaining. Since Sontag wrote this essay before Stonewall, it must have been hard at the time to see any overlap between camp and politics. But as the examples I've chosen so far might show, I do see a political angle, and a political discussion to be had over which expressions of art and being are considered unnatural or unserious. For instance, Black queer art like the bejeweled collages of Mickalene Thomas and the exuberant sculptures made of trinkets by Nick Cave address the racial angle in the demarcation of high brow and low brow.

There's a legacy in queer politics that calls for a sort of hedonistic, bejeweled extravagance for all. Jules Gill-Peterson writes about the transfeminine travestis in Latin America, and a term they use,mujerisima. The English translation is less glamorous--"extremely woman" or "the most woman"-- but to Gill-Peterson this represents a vision of racialized, working class anti-austerity and anti-assimilationist sensuality and glamour. In A Short History of Transmisogyny, she asks: "What's wrong with being extra? Abundance might be a powerful concept in a world organized by a false sense of scarcity."

So for an in-depth description of camp, I still recommend Sontag's essay for its insight and cultural impact. She's right to address the association between camp and homosexuality, but the association between failed seriousness and excess with marginalized subjects doesn't stop there. So I hope people realize camp is not an irony-poisened, "doing it ironically" hipster thing, but a perspective and way of life to find real joy and freedom in.

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lifeonmarz-blog · 6 months

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Moon through the zodiac

Aries: Your blunt and it often comes across as insensitive. Yet at the same time people may think your too sensitive. Growing up your household was very busy and or very gossipy. People may question your intentions alot with this placement even if your not doing anything some may still assume your up to no good. Its almost like damn all that assuming you might as well actually do something. The way you express yourself is always being judged and people are always trying to ''correct'' it. Causing you to be anti social, very particular on who you share your personality with or a bully. The way you express yourself is very unique just like your sense of humor you be accidentally funny as hell and thats needed in this world dont give away your power to people and allow them to change you into a dolice version of yourself. Light fire under they ass the way you how to. Anyways I wouldnt be surprised if you daydream about your ideal life alot, careful not to be in your head too much and create unrealistic expectations for yourself or others to uphold. I want yall to stop being so hard on yourself. If nobody else tell yall ima tell you i love how passionately you express yourself. The purpose of your moon being here is for you to learn more about yourself and who you are and how your actions/reactions affect others. Step away from whats familiar and comfortable and dig deep. Listen to your intuition. Have some fucking fun.

Taurus: Its your way or the highway HUH? Your moon chose to be here becasue you are the defender. There will be times were you feel your back is against the wall and you face alot of scrutiny from the world. They may come down on you hard but if you can withstand the pressure you will be rewarded. Willpower and self discipline comes easier for you. You have the tendency to be arrogant, domineering and passive aggressive. A good leader keeps those emotions in check. Yall get stuck in yall ways fr i want yall to put more energy into leaving your comfort zone and taking risk. Slow down smell the roses and enjoy where you are. Dont be all work and no play.

Gemini: Yall love some drama. Somehow always ending up in the middle of some shit. Seeing others as competition even when them ppl not worried about you. You like being the center of attention and dont care if its in a postive or negative light. It works for yall though because popularity comes easy for you. This is one of the most social placements for the moon to be. Your reputation means alot to you and networking is high on your priority list. Its common for yall to feel like you always have to choose between something. It may be hard for you to balance your work life and home life. In friendships and relationships you choose to keep the blindfold on ignoring whats really in front of you, procrastinating to handle your problems just hoping theyll go away on there on. You end up in situations where people are betraying you. With the two sides to gemini its like a secret element to your life. Your no stranger to scandal. I feel for you, this isnt a easy place to have the moon be. You care so much about your relationships with people but yet often have issues with ppl. This couldve stemmed from feeling like you were a target growing up that people always chose to pick with you. Or that you were punished more extremely than others. With this placement you've probably seen or experienced things that really made you question humanity. Dont let those experiences shape the type of person you'll be. You gotta learn to let shit go and not be bitter or have a victim mentality. Be careful not to burn yourself out. Drowning yourself in work to ignore your feelings. You dont always have to do everything on your own... collaborating is just as rewarding i promise. It would be beneficial to learn how to except help, knowing when to back down and not being so critical of yourself.

Cancer: If they dont appreciate everything you do FCK EM. No but fr with moon here you may feel like people overlook the things you do for them. Cancer moons can be way to stubborn and stand in there on way because of the fear of change. Repeating the same lessons way more than they should have to. When your redirect your energy to new experiences and growth your determination and passion unmatched. This is type of person you want to have on your team they bring so much positive energy and comfort.

Leo: Main character syndrome AF lol Unnecessarily rebellious at times growing up you may have felt your parents were controlling on how you expressed your creativity or because of the way you grew up you express your creativity in a rebellious way in relation to your family. Your career could be taboo. I could see a lot of onlyfans stars having moon in leo. Success in career comes more natural for you because of your consistency and ambitious nature. Yall really find pleasure in chasing money. Dont get so carried away with fulfilling your material desires that you dont leave time for introspection and searching for who you really are away from the titles.

Virgo: How does it feel to be kids favorite? A happy home life is important for this placement. Theres an innate need to belong. You love parties, holidays and kids ofc. Hosting parties and having a full house will give you happiness. Where this placement gets stuck is not being able to let go of the past. Getting sucked into the loophole of self pity and regret. Focus your attention on what you can do and what you can change. You work better with other ppl there to bounce ideas off of. Let your gaurd down, Succuss is reached quicker for you when you collaborate. Having this placement is testing your ability to strengthen your willpower and resourcefulness. Once you can do that you'll manifest way easier. Careful not to live beyond your means. Dont let desires put you in debt. Trust your intution, take the first step and take the risk. You go be perfectly fine.

Libra: Your love language is def quality time and acts of service this is very important for this placement to feel loved. Yall thrive in group settings and really value friendships. Even if you dont talk that much it makes you feel better to be around others. If you want to get with a Libra moon the best way is to become their friend first. You may have a tendency to put yourself in drama and create chaos among your inner circle though lil messy ass. Always wanting to be right, when this placement is in its lower natures is a good example of the native american folklore of the hunter that stuck a blood coated blade in ice knowing the wolf couldnt resist. It licked the blade continuously not realizing it was slowing bleeding out. The only way for the wolf to survive is to acknowledge its self destructive behavior. Bottom line just because you can ignore something doesnt mean others are going to do the same. Just becasue it didnt effect you doesnt mean it didnt effect them. Make the effort to listen to understand not listen to respond. Your words matter use them responsibly and take breaks from people or things when you feel you need to, your mental health will thank you.

Scorpio: Transformation happens with this placement alot. Moments of feeling isolated or depressed may be brought on by extreme emotional shifts. Anxiety and fear is no stranger to the scorpio moon. It can be to the point of really debilitating you. You've experienced things you've kept to yourself or have repressed but the issue continues to reappear time after time like a broken record. If it hasnt been dealt with it way on you really heavy and appear in your dreams often. You've felt shame, not understanding how you couldve allowed yourself to be in that predicament in the first place but seriously bro shit happens. It can be hard to maintain emotional balance with moon in scorpio, so its essential to have methods to release your emotions in healthy ways. Careful not to become bitter or victimizing with things dont go the way your controlling ass intends. Vengeance doesnt work well for you it often backfires, you'll try to set somebody house on fire and you burn yourself in the process. You may feel that people often oppose for no reason that you have to go through power struggles to be heard or to get the things you want. You may second guess opening up and are critical of yourself and others but opening yourself up to the world will be one of the best things you can do for your relationships and career. Your maturity and originality is threatening. Express yourself in your full nature and make people adapt to you not the other way around. You have authoritarian energy and if your putting yourself out there which ik you are, yr often mistaken for the boss. That is if your not already the boss. Im sure your that your the boss. Mwahahaha. Your demeanor comes across as serious and strict. Ppl naturally think let me not play with them. Your standards are high for yourself and your partner. You wouldnt be with somebody who doesnt match up to your standard. You need to feel like the person you’re with is equally as respected as you in any room you walk in.

Sagittarius: Im sure you believe you were meant to be famous. Sagittarius moons are very charismatic and great negotiators with a very convincing personality they are great at creating solutions quickly. So ofc that makes its very easy for them to make friends. In relationships they attract and are attracted to more dominate personalities. Loving the idea of love but really being in denial about that. Def gives player vibes they have flirtatious ass whore ways lmao. If you cheating ik you not even finna try hard to hide it. Easily bored they will chase thrills lowkey in a running from your problems type of way. Where sag moons can grow is appreciating the value they bring and not feeling the need to always compare themselves to others. Don't attach your self worth to financial security. Be more secure in what you believe and don't back down so easily when others challenge your ideas.

Capricorn: The moon doesn't like being here. Its emotionally depressing actually lol. I'm sure you've already read enough depressing interpretations on cap moons tho so this one is not going to be that. This one is meant to empower you. Youve experienced alot of chaos anger and pain. You've experienced very intense situations that have completely emotional up rooted you. But the smoke always clears and its important for to spend time away from the people and places that have caused this. Take the steps needed to regroup to be by yourself to develop better understanding of your emotions and learn what it is that truly want from your life. If you are not following your intuition it is easy for you to end up in friendships and relationships that do not mean you well. Your not the type of person who can just hang with anyone you need to very intentional about who you allow into your life. Communicate your feelings stop keeping everything bottled in. That shit will drive yo ass crazy. You dont have to be the strong friend all the time your emotions are valid, open up to ppl and share that shit because you dont share often you open up and talk people listen. Use that power to help others that have been through similar experiences to you. When you succeed in whatever obstacles you overcome ppl cant do anything but respect it bc your road was slow and steady but you stayed with it. When it comes to relationships you are very black and white you'll commit yourself fast but if you feel you cant trust the person you may still deal with them but emotional you shut them out. You like being partnered up rather its a relationship or situtationship you deal with the person for a long time.

Aquarius: I want to give you a hug, you are too analytical for your own good. Baby you need to stop thinking so much and you need to feel, you need to experience, act on impulse, dont give yourself time to think about everything that could go wrong. You sabotage so much of your own happiness that way. But i understand people have disappointed you so many times you feel you must do everything on your own. Its like nobody understands you or that people are committed to misunderstanding you. But news flash your not that expressive with your feelings how is anybody going to know if you dont tell them. Yall are cute though with yall dry ass humor. Listen stop being such a fly on the wall you hold as much value as anyone else stop acting like your presence is a fuckn burden. You dont have be agreeable all the the time they will be O FUCKN K. You are very intelligent and more people need to know that. Believing in yourself and communicating is your lesson. Shine your light and stop playing like fr...

Pisces: Ok we’re gonna get the sad shit out the way first. Just how yall like. I really feel like yr parents just let yall cry it out as a baby and you took that personal lmao. No but fr i feel like you always came across like you can handle things so you weren’t really checked on everyone just assumes you'll be ok. You come across as very strong and resilient which is beautiful but everybody needs a shoulder to lean on. Okay now remember how i said yall took that personally ummhm you can be very vengeful never forgetting he littlest slight somebody done towards you. Yall resort to committing crimes rather easily if you need some money lmao im not mad at it though. Literally rationalizing damn near anything if that means youll get what you want. And another thing yall be lying fr. lol sometimes it really do be on accident though you just forgot what really happened and your imagination is very vivid you thought that was the truth. You can be too hard on yourself sometimes you see very clearly the person you want to be so you put so many time limits and expectations on yourself. Chill out enjoy the journey and flow through life the way you know how to. You have very high standards so anything you invest your energy too is executed properly. I honestly cant even imagine a Pisces moon not running their own business. Im sure you cant either. You naturally have very authoritarian energy. Theres not much push and pull when it comes to you getting your way people go with your flow pretty easily. Naturally you wouldnt assume a pisces to be practical but they actually are. Sure they dream big but if they didnt know how to practically implement that into this realm that would just be depressing as hell. When yall find something that works for you, you are very disciplined at seeing it through. Very protective over those you love yall def give stand up when i walk in the room vibes lol

#astrology #12th house #astrology101 #astrologyfacts #8th house #astro notes #pluto aspects #astrologychart #astrologyobservations #astrologyzone #moon astrology #moon placements #scorpio moon #sag moon #libra moon #pisces moon

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pathologicalreid · 5 months

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hii!! its me again!! please could i request another spencer reid x female!reader where spence is just reading a book and minding his own business, and then the reader comes along and wants his attention bc she's feeling a bit needy, so she starts bugging him to get his attention and its just really fluffy and ends up being really cute :)) thank you!!

attention | S.R.

in which you attempt to get your boyfriends attention

who? spencer reid x fem!reader

category: fluff! tooth rotting sweet fluff!

content warnings: defined relationship, anna karenina, idk its just fluffy

word count: 569

a/n: howdy! thank you so much for the request!!!!! this was fun and sweet to write. i hope you enjoy <333

He was sitting on the couch, his nose buried in a book. Spencer wasn’t purposely ignoring you, but his reread of Anna Karenina held all of his attention.

You were sat in the reading chair, a novel open in your hand, but at some point, your eyes had wandered from the ink to your boyfriend. In your defense, he had just been in Oregon on a case for a week, and this was the first time you’d seen him since.

Tilting your head to the side, you looked at him, “Spence?” You whispered, not wanting to interrupt him, and hoping he would look at you when he finished his page or chapter.

He didn’t budge. He kept his hand covering his mouth and every once in a while, his lips would move as he read. Realistically, you knew that he would be done reading the entire novel within an hour or two, but books be damned, you had missed him.

“Spence?” You tried again, tucking your bookmark in your book, and setting it on the side table. “Spencer,” you called his name in a sing-song voice.

Like Excalibur from the stone, he stayed put. You couldn’t help but smile at him, because you had always been fascinated by his ability to get lost in a novel, let alone a novel he’s read countless times before.

Giving it a rest, you got up, refilled your glass of water, and sat back down at the opposite end of the couch he was reading on.

Spencer reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, giving you hope that his attention was off the book, but he just went back to the book, never even lifting his eyes from the pages.

You set your water down on the coffee table before turning to face him again, the leather of the couch was cold even through the fabric of your clothes. Instinctively, you moved closer to Spencer, who radiated heat like a furnace during all four seasons.

He adjusted so that his legs were more extended across the couch and kept the book at eye level.

Sighing, you said his name again before resorting to slightly more extreme measures. Making your way across the couch so that you could poke your head through the slot between the book and his body. Acknowledging you, he hummed and gave you a dopey smile. “Hey,” He murmured against your lips when you leaned forward to kiss him.

Feeling accomplished, you laid down next to him and settled your cheek on his chest, “Hi, Spence.”

Spencer moved his arms so one was holding the book up and the other was lazily scratching up and down your back, “Do you want to get dinner later?” He whispered lowly like he was in a library. Really, in his apartment that wasn’t much of reach.

You nodded against the fabric of his sweater, “Yeah.” You peeked at his book, “Are you reading Anna Karenina in the original Russian?”

He hummed, “I read a translated version on the flight home, I want to compare the two versions and see… Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I think you’re perfect,” you whispered before setting your head back on his chest. “Continue reading, I’m good here,” you said, closing your eyes, intent on taking a nap.

Spencer pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, “You’re perfect.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds request #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #written by margot #margot's asks #criminal minds fanfiction

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burst-of-iridescent · 2 months

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South Asian and Hindu Influences in ATLA (Part 2)

disclaimer: i was raised culturally and religiously hindu, and though i've tried to do my research for this post and pair it with my own cultural knowledge, i'm not an expert on hinduism by any means. should i mess up, please let me know.

please also be aware that many of the concepts discussed in this post overlap heavily with religions such as buddhism and jainism, which might have different interpretations and representations. as i'm not from those religions or cultures, i don't want to speak on them, but if anyone with that knowledge wishes to add on, please feel free.

Part 1

In the previous post, I discussed some of the things ATLA got right in its depictions of desi and hindu cultures. unfortunately, they also got plenty of things wrong - often in ways that leaned towards racist caricatures - so let's break them down, starting with...

Guru Pathik

both the word "guru" and name "pathik" come from sanskrit. pathik means "traveler" or "he who knows the way" while guru is a term for a guide or mentor, similar to a teacher.

gurus were responsible for the very first education systems in ancient india, setting up institutions called gurukuls. students, referred to as disciples, would often spend years living with and learning from their gurus in these gurukuls, studying vedic and buddhist texts, philosophy, music and even martial arts.

however, their learning was not limited merely to academic study, as gurus were also responsible for guiding the spiritual evolution of their disciples. it was common for disciples to meditate, practice yoga, fast for days or weeks, and complete mundane household chores every day in order to instill them with self-discipline and help them achieve enlightenment and spiritual awareness. the relationship between a guru and his disciple was considered a sacred, holy bond, far exceeding that of a mere teacher and student.

aang's training with guru pathik mirrors some of these elements. similar to real gurus, pathik takes on the role of aang's spiritual mentor. he guides aang in unblocking his chakras and mastering the avatar state through meditation, fasting, and self-reflection - all of which are practices that would have likely been encouraged in disciples by their gurus.

pathik's design also takes inspiration from sadhus, holy men who renounced their worldly ties to follow a path of spiritual discipline. the guru's simple, nondescript clothing and hair are reflective of the ascetic lifestyle sadhus are expected to lead, giving up material belongings and desires in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and, ultimately, liberation from the reincarnation cycle.

unfortunately, this is where the respectful references end because everything else about guru pathik was insensitive at best and stereotypical at worst.

it is extremely distasteful that the guru speaks with an overexaggerated indian accent, even though the iranian-indian actor who plays him has a naturally british accent. why not just hire an actual indian voice actor if the intention was to make pathik sound authentic? besides, i doubt authenticity was the sole intention, given that the purposeful distortion of indian accents was a common racist trope played for comedy in early 2000s children's media (see: phineas and ferb, diary of a wimpy kid, jessie... the list goes on).

furthermore, while pathik is presented a wise and respected figure within this episode, his next (and last) appearance in the show is entirely the opposite.

in the episode nightmares and daydreams, pathik appears in aang's nightmare with six hands, holding what appears to be a veena (a classical indian music instrument). this references the iconography of the hindu deity Saraswati, the goddess of wisdom and knowledge. the embodiment of divine enlightenment, learning, insight and truth, Saraswati is a member of the Tridevi (the female version of the Trimurti), one of the most respected and revered goddesses in the Hindu pantheon... and her likeness is used for a cheap laugh on a character who's already treated as a caricature.

that's bad enough on its own, but when you consider that guru pathik is the only explicitly south asian coded character in the entire show, it's downright insulting. for a show that took so many of its foundational concepts from south asia and hinduism and yet provided almost no desi representation in return, this is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Chakras

"chakra", meaning "circle" or "wheel of life" in sanskrit, refers to sources of energy found in the human body. chakra points are aligned along the spine, with energy flowing from the lowest to the highest point. the energy pooled at the lowest chakra is called kundalini, and the aim is to release this energy to the highest chakra in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and consciousness.

the number of chakras varies in different religions, with buddhism referencing five chakras while hinduism has seven. atla draws from the latter influence, so let's take a look at the seven chakras:

Muladhara (the Root Chakra). located at the base of the spine, this chakra deals with our basest instincts and is linked to the element of earth.

Swadhisthana (the Sacral Chakra). located just below the navel, this chakra deals with emotional intensity and pleasure and is linked to the element of water.

Manipura (the Solar Plexus Chakra). located in the stomach, this chakra deals with willpower and self-acceptance and is linked to the element of fire.

Anahata (the Heart Chakra). located in the heart, this chakra deals with love, compassion and forgiveness and is linked to the element of air. in the show, this chakra is blocked by aang's grief over the loss of the air nomads, which is a nice elemental allusion.

Vishudda (the Throat Chakra). located at the base of the throat, this chakra deals with communication and honesty and is linked to the fifth classical element of space. the show calls this the Sound Chakra, though i'm unsure where they got that from.

Ajna (the Third Eye Chakra). located in the centre of the forehead, this chakra deals with spirituality and insight and is also linked to the element of space. the show calls it the Light Chakra, which is fairly close.

Sahasrara (the Crown Chakra). located at the very top of the head, this chakra deals with pure cosmic consciousness and is also linked to the element of space. it makes perfect sense that this would be the final chakra aang has to unblock in order to connect with the avatar spirit, since the crown chakra is meant to be the point of communion with one's deepest, truest self.

the show follows these associations and descriptions almost verbatim, and does a good job linking the individual chakras to their associated struggles in aang's arc.

Cosmic Energy

the idea of chakras is associated with the concept of shakti, which refers to the life-giving energy that flows throughout the universe and within every individual.

the idea of shakti is a fundamentally unifying one, stating that all living beings are connected to one another and the universe through the cosmic energy that flows through us all. this philosophy is referenced both in the swamp episode and in guru pathik telling aang that the greatest illusion in the world is that of separation - after all, how can there be any real separation when every life is sustained by the same force?

this is also why aang needing to let go of katara did not, as he mistakenly assumed, mean he had to stop loving her. rather, the point of shedding earthly attachment is to allow one to become more attuned to shakti, both within oneself and others. ironically, in letting go of katara and allowing himself to commune with the divine energy of the universe instead, aang would have been more connected to her - not less.

The Avatar State

according to hinduism, there are five classical elements known as pancha bhuta that form the foundations of all creation: air, water, earth, fire, and space/atmosphere.

obviously, atla borrows this concept in making a world entirely based on the four classical elements. but looking at how the avatar spirit is portrayed as a giant version of aang suspended in mid-air, far above the earth, it's possible that this could reference the fifth liminal element of space as well.

admittedly this might be a bit of a reach, but personally i find it a neat piece of worldbuilding that could further explain the power of the avatar. compared to anyone else who might be able to master only one element, mastering all five means having control of every building block of the world. this would allow the avatar to be far more attuned to the spiritual energy within the universe - and themselves - as a result, setting in motion the endless cycle of death and rebirth that would connect their soul even across lifetimes.

#atla #atla cultural influences #hinduism in atla #welp i thought this would be the last part but i ended up having more to talk about than i thought #so i'll save the book 3 inspirations for the next post #including my absolute favourite combustion man #and by favourite i mean kill it with fire why did you ever think this was okay to do writers

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vaspider · 2 years

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Okay y'all, I have to tell you that I was super skeptical of Antoni-From-Queer-Eye (little-known fact, Netflix makes them legally change their names)'s new show, Easy-Bake Battle.

But like... it's charming, actually? Antoni has such a genuine energy and it's extremely effective. Everyone is really kind and the guest judges are charming. There's a holiday episode where one of the contestants makes an Eid dessert! Someone makes an everything bagel waffle?

And all of y'all that are always on here on Tumblr eagerly interacting with posts where us old folx tell you how to make food or make things easier on yourself will love this damn show. Part of what contestants are judged on is how easy/simple the recipe is and how many neat shortcuts/cost-cutting tips and tricks they can incorporate into their dishes. You will see things like:

How to cook frozen broccoli so you can't tell it was frozen

How to cook shrimp if you only have access to a coffee pot (no, really)

How to poach an egg in the microwave and why acid matters when you do

How to get crispy skin on salmon when baking it

How to do things like 'use a metal hair pick to get evenly-spaced slices of cucumber'

How to plan ahead so you can reuse today's leftovers for tomorrow's dinner

A lot of baking/cooking shows are either "you can't do this and it's fun to have catastrophe when you try" (Nailed It! & all its many-language spinoffs) or "you can't do this but it's neat to watch the people who can" (literally every other show including GBBO) - they're all aspiration. This show is aspirational in an extremely achievable way, and it is that way on purpose and with intention. I am obsessed with it, because I really love cooking for people and I love when people learn how easy it is to make quality food that tastes good. It is a skill and you can learn it, and once you do, it's a fun game. I literally lay in bed while I'm drifting off to sleep and daydream about flavor combinations. (I'm gonna do dates and goat cheese and walnuts and basalmic vinaigrette - sweet, fat, salt/savory, acid - on butter lettuce for dinner tomorrow. Been thinking about it all night. I got a big bag of dates to use for my 3-day brisket and I gotta use some of them up, I can't use this huge bag on the brisket.)

Literally everything on this show is something you could make. And you should try! Go watch it, and like... try to make something from it, and then come tell me about your successes. I love hearing about when people enjoy cooking.

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eclipixels · 5 months

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Partition

Summary: Car sex

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Diamond glittered in the pale moonlight as you stepped out the Gala. It was around 2 a.m., and you were extremely exhausted, ready to take off your heels and corset that imprisoned your aching flesh. Not too far behind followed you a blonde haired man, a glistening matching ring adorned both your left hands.

Guards encircled you as you made your way towards the sleek black SUV, the distinct sound of stiletto heels resonating against the pavement with each step. Your hips moved with a captivating natural rhythm, creating an allure that seemed to affect Coriolanus who was walking behind you, his esteemed First Lady.

Coriolanus held open the door for you, his gaze subtly tracing the elegant contours of your form as you gracefully crouched to enter. A momentary glimpse of the delicate lace of your panties captured his attention as you swung in each leg with deliberate poise. He arched a questioning brow, wondering whether your seemingly intentional display was a purposeful act.

Maintaining a facade of indifference, you skillfully feigned obliviousness to the subtle scrutiny, but Coryo knew better than to fall for your tricks. Nonetheless, he let's it go, choosing not to press the matter. He seamlessly joined you, sliding into the seat beside yours before securing the door. The tinted glasses provided a discreet vantage point, affording you an unobstructed view of everything around, while cloaking your presence from prying external eyes. The inherent convenience of such privacy did not escape notice.

You failed to observe how Coryo sat impossibly close, with one warm hand on your knees and the other snaked around your waist. Seemingly innocent, it appears as a loving gesture between spouses, but you're aware of a different reality.

Coriolanus's hhand maintained its place on your waist, his fingers subtly tracing patterns as if claiming territory. The allure of the night seemed to heighten the tension within the confined space of the vehicle. His rosy cologne, a gentle scent, filled your nose as you leaned into his touch.

"What perfume is this?" He asks.

"Peach Blossom," You breathe, wondering if he's taken a keen to it.

"Never wear it again unless we're in public." He commands and you furrow your brows. What? "It covers your natural scent, I don't like that."

You stop yourself for laughing, not wanting to abash him. Never to wear any other artificial fragrance again unless it's for public purposes? All because he can't smell your natural scent? You truly had him whipped. You just give him a slight nod in response.

Your muscles ease against his broad chest, sensing the rhythm of his breath. The hand on your knees subtly glides upward, its movement almost imperceptible, and his nails gently trace across your skin.

He angles his head, gently placing a tender, chaste kiss on the area below your ears along your jawline. They press a little longer than they should, and you sense the possessiveness behind the act.

"What'd you drink?" You whisper, smelling the liquor on his breath.

"Bowmore 1957" he responds, his eyelashes brushing against your skin from the proximity of his face.

"How was it?" you inquired, your question lacking genuine curiosity. You sought a diversion from the thoughts racing through your mind about where his hands could go, the things he could do to you right now.

"Not as divine as you taste," he responded, offering no assistance to your wandering thoughts. At that very moment, the car made a sharp turn, and his hand slid higher up your thigh while his other arm tightened it's grip around your waist.

"Coriolanus." Your eyes widened and your hand fell on his wrist. Gazing into his eyes brimming with desire, you saw his lips form an amused, teasing grin.

"Hm?" He hummed, moving defiantly against your weak grip. You shot him a glare, a sort of warning. He dismisses your silent caution by placing the hand that was on your torso to rest elegantly on your breast.

"What are you doing?" You whisper through your teeth. You were mad at yourself for how hot your skin was getting from the barest of his touch, he always had that effect on you.

"Such a low cut dress with easy access, tell me, was this on purpose, love?" He ignores your question, you knew exactly what he was doing and knew that his actions would just continue further, so there was no reason to argue against it. You knew he'd win in the end, he always does.

Snow lands on top

"Not here," your voice trembles as you sense the squeeze on your inner thigh.

"Yes, here," he murmurs, planting a wet kiss on your neck.

Feeling tense, you contemplate. You're aware of Snow's eagerness, but you do trust that he wouldn't push boundaries if you said no. Moreover, with the partition up, the driver would remain oblivious and this is where those tinted windows came in convenience.

Gripping one of Coriolanus's shoulders, you pulled yourself up onto his lap, your dress riding up as you straddled him. You could see you surprised him with the way his eyes widened till they filled with glittering mischief, something you've grown familiar to since you were both children. Coriolanus Snow had always been a rebel.

With a smile, he attacked your neck with sloppy wet kisses, hands frantically exploring every inch of your skin. His fingers slid from beneath your dress, tracing the contours of your skin. You melted in his touch like wax sensing the warmth from each other.

You can feel his hard cock underneath the fabric of your panties and his pants. You begin to subtly move against the hardness, gradually building up a sensation

He unexpectedly raised you slightly, you sometimes forget how easily he can lift you up. Swiftly, he shifts aside your panties and clumsily pulls down a portion of his pants and boxers, unveiling his hard and senstive cock leaking with precum.

You feel the tip press against your wetfolds as you sink down onto his cock, hissing at the stretch. It's important to mention that while yes you were in the mood to fuck, you were also exhausted after hours of walking in heels and draining your social battery. Coriolanus noticed, of course he did, he knows you like the back of his hand.

"You tired, darling?" He whispered, sensing the way your body went completely lax as soon as you sinked down on him.

"Mhm," you nodded shyly. You knew he wouldn't be upset with you or anything but you couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

"S'okay baby, I got you. You wanna stop?" He cooed, petting your hair and holding you you tightly to his chest.

"No, wanna keep going." You lazily answered, feeling the way the satin strap on your shoulder naturally fell with the pull of gravity.

"Okay, I need you to relax for me, dove." His chest resonates with the vibrations of his voice, and you sense it as you plant gentle, tickling kisses on his neck where your head lay. His face carries a subtle smile, evident from them.

Slowly, he pushes forward, claiming the tight heat that has been tormenting him. Once he sees you're comfortable, he continues rutting in and out of you. The symphony of your sounds delight. He revels in your vocality during sex, it feeds his ego to know how good he's making you feel.

You throw your head back when he hits that sweet spot inside of you. You can't help but whimper at the repeated brushing against the spot, and Coryo takes this as an opportunity to capture your lips between his. You moaned into the kiss, feeling drunk on his touch. He leisurely moved his tongue from the edge of your lips, tracing a path down to your neck.

Coryo passionately fucks you, as if he's your devoted worshipper, imprinting your pleasure on his being. The rhythm he creates is almost sinful, with one hand gripping the soft flesh of your ass and the other exploring every reachable piece of your body. The intensity of the experience overwhelms you, prompting you to tightly embrace him, pulling him in as close as you can.

He presses his open mouth to your shoulder, too concentrated on chasing his high to nip or leave love bites.

You feel that finials knot in your stomach and know you're about to come undone. Your hands search desperately for something to grab on to, and you find your palms pressed against the foggy windows leaving sweaty handprints.

"C-coryo..." You choke on your words, trying to signal that you're close. You get some sort of noise acknowledging your whine, and you hope he knows why because you can't seem to formulate anything else coherent.

"I know, baby. Come for me whenever you want." He reassures and tears brim your eyes. Your mascaras running, red lipstick smudged.

Coryo skillfully adjusts, allowing his hand to slide down your stomach. Utilizing his thumb, he deftly flicks and rubs at your clit, taking advantage of the openness facilitated by the positioning of his cock. As sensations intensify, spots start to form in your vision. Each stroke pushes you closer to the edge until you cream on his cock and whimper uncontrollably.

The pleasure of clenching around his thick cock sends Coriolanus into a spiral as he can no longer control himself. Warm thick liquid gushes inside of you as Coryo grunts into your neck, trying to muffle his sounds. Your name falls out his lips like a prayer.

Too focused on his own high, Coryo doesn't notice how he's let go of you until you sloppily fall off his lap onto the seat. You looked absolutely fucked out, and the apology on the tip of his tongue died once he saw the way you looked. Hair messy, panties scrunched, dress half on, very visible hickeys, bruises forming on your hips from his hands gripping, and thick dribbles of his cum spilling out from your pussy onto your gown.

You're beyond speech, and all you can do is watch as Coryo pulls out his phone and snaps a quick picture.

He retrieves a handkerchief and delicately starts wiping you down, encouraging you to unwind and even to take a nap if you wish. You laugh softly in response. Aftercare makes him so gentle. Bending down, he hovers over you and plants sweet, affectionate kisses all over your body.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x y/n #coriolanus #the hunger games #hunger games #tbosbas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #Spotify

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kittykattropicanna · 4 months

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my brain is absolute mush i am in love with him!!!! he tries to get you to send him more photos — and you more than happily oblige — and he guards them like his life depends on it. slowly starts to ask more personal questions, mostly trying to figure out if you have a partner and when he finds out you don’t? the game is on. starts using pet names in his letters here and there, drawing you in deeper and you’re so helpless against him. and then the calls start and he hears your voice and then it’s all he can think about. tries to get you to say certain things — especially his name — for him to tuck away for later when he’s alone with your photo and his hand on his cock and wishing more than anything to have you instead of his fist ):

he thinks himself a good person, all things considered. but knowing you, and knowing you’re out there? no protection, such a sweet and soft thing — it worries him. maybe he asks johnny to try and find you. doesn’t necessarily disclose his true intentions, mostly out of curiosity. but then he starts thinking of when he gets out, how he can meet you, bring you back to his place, knowing he’s the best one to keep you safe and so he uses his time to get a head start so when he’s out he can finally keep you ):

hyperventilating, screaming, projectile vomiting, this, this, this, THISSSSS,

The reason im soooo obsessed with your ask is because 1, you’re a fucking incredible writer and 2, you dived so deep into PrisonPenPal!Simon’s psyche, his such a smart dude and unbelievably manipulative when he needs to be…..

Sorry everyones!! asks are taking so long to get out!! I just want to go into the most detail possible and give everyones ideas justice!! if you're waiting, I promise you its in the works rn <3

TW: mentions of murder, jail, corruption kink, masterbation (Reader & Simon), public masterbation (kinda), phone sex, smut, manipulative!Simon and kinda stalker vibes I guess (not yandere)

PrisonPenPal!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

If you think about his sentencing, he purposely played his cards in away that made him the victim without him actually having to act like the victim if that kinda makes sense?

The second he punched that kid he knew he fucked up bad, and then when he saw the blood seeping out of the kids skull and covering the floor, he knew he fucked up really bad.

A normal person would either run, go into hiding, try and resist the arrest, break down and have a panic attack. But he knew this wasn’t time for an emotional response, he needed to start planning what his next step was going to be and how he was going to execute it in a way that favoured him.

His not a psychopath, his 100% capable of feeling and experiencing human emotion and is very emotionally intelligent, but when he needs to be, his actions can be extremely calculated to the point its almost scary.

When he sees your picture though, something definitely clicks in his brain, he just wants more.

If that means more pictures or letters or even a phone call, he just needs it.

I think maybe its something primal as well… his a man at the end of the day, and being locked up for years in an all male prison with all male guards means he hasn’t even seen a women that isn’t a playboy model for fucking agessss

His not dumb either, he knows you put effort into taking that photo for him, he knows you put on a red bra because he told you his favourite colour was red. So the idea that maybe, just maybe you feel the same way, or are at least starting to, really erupts something in him.

But you’re completely right. He wouldn’t show a soul the photo you sent him. He’d go to drastic measures to hide everything :( you sent them to him, you’re writing to him, not anybody else,and he knows that if any of the other inmates found out about you, or god forbid, saw a photo of you, they would have an absolute field day.

He sees how the men his jailed with act when wives, sisters or girlfriends come to visit their loved ones.

He hears their disgusting comments about the women’s bodies, the detailed answers of what they would do if they ever got their hands on them. It always made his throat fill with bile and stomach twist.

Si may not be a perfect man, but talking like that about another mans women? His above that.

Thinking about how they would say the same things about you, how’d they’d all pass the photo around with a dirty smirk on their face and snicker? He wasn’t having that, over his dead fucking body.

He writes back to you keeping it relatively normal, lighthearted and friendly, but he sneaks in a little

“Ya’ boyfriend probably isn’t over the moon ya’ writtin’ someone like me, aye? I mean, if my missus was writin’ to a felon I’d blow my fuckin’ top love, theres gotta’ be somthin’ out there better for ya’ to been doin’, readin’ a book or somthin’ like that. It was lovely puttin’ a face to a name, just seein’ someone so happy makes me smile”

Receiving his letter makes your heart sore, you made him smile.

Obviously you had to send him more photos right? You just wanted to make him smile…. right? :(

You definitely didn’t want to send more because your pussy clenched when he called you “love”

Its definitely not because he was so protective over you, knowing he was so worried about your well-being, always asking if you're doing okay, asking if you’re safe…

“I worry bout’ you out there lovie, ya' gotta keep safe, look after ya’ self”

Getting your friends to help you take more photos for him!!!

Maybe you force them to go on a hike with you… you wear those leggings that make your arse look fantastic, posing in front of a nice view and purposely sticking out your cute little bum, subtly showing it off to the camera…. Showing it off to him :((((

But its just to show him the view!!!!! He hasn’t seen a nice landscape in years!! He deserves it!!

You’re not a dirty girl :( you’re a good girl!! You would never do something so disgusting for a man who’s locked in jail, your daddy would be so disappointed if he knew you were sticking out your arse for a man like Si >:(

Calling over your ex-situationships so they can fuck you, your dildo wasn’t enough anymore, you needed the real thing….you needed Si, but obviously you can’t have him, right? There’s no possible way you could ever experience your biggest fantasy….right?

So other men will just have to do :(((

Having them hold you down and fuck your pussy mediocrely, closing your eyes trying to imagine Si :( maybe even moaning his name accidentally…..

Its never really that enjoyable though, all you can think about is how Si would fill you so much better…technically, you have no evidence to prove that, but his such a gentlemen!! He knows how to speak to a women…he must know how to fuck one as well!!!

It only makes sense….

It makes you so sad… he’d never think about you the same way you think about him >:(

He’d never fantasies about your sloppy cunt the way you fantasies about licking up his fat cock, teasing his tip and ruining your throat as he shoves his meaty dick down it :(((

Rubbing your swollen clit on your pillow as you moan for him, maybe even looking at the grainy photo of his face while you pleasure yourself :(( you’re so disgusting for him, so needy, he would never want a girl as yucky as you….

When Si receives your next letter informing him that you don’t have a boyfriend as well as a photo of you posing for him, that’s when the obsession really begins :3

His not obsessed on a yandere level but his definitely deep into it :)

He never really thought about what he would do after he got out, he always kinda just guessed that he would go back to his old ways, but now he has you very obviously showing some type of interest in him, his mind is fucking racing!!!

Maybe he can get your number and use his monthly call to talk to you, maybe you can come visit him while his still locked up, maybe you’ll be willing to have him when his out, maybe you can move in together, maybe he’ll marry you, maybe he’ll finally get to fuck that sweet little pussy that his been fantasising about, maybe…maybe…..maybe..Ahhhhh!!!

Stealing sponges and a rubber glove when his on cleaning duty :((((

Bargaining with his prison mates for hair ties and an empty Pringles can so he can make his own makeshift fleshlight :(((

Fucking his fat dick with it while his eyes focus on your arse, imagining his got you in doggy and fucking you stupid:((( Maybe even putting his pillow in front of him and pretending its your arse, squeezing and spanking it >:(((

His corruption kink is feral…he knows his a lowlife with nothing good ahead of him, his more then aware that for the rest of his life his going to be labeled as a murderer, but the idea of him taking a pretty little thing like you and pulling you down with him makes him cum so hard his thick juicy thighs shake, fleshlight filling up with his cum and quite moans falling from his mouth >: (((

He doesn’t know were it came from, he just wants you to be with him and he knows he’ll never be able to live the white collar lifestyle you so obviously enjoy.

The idea of taking you out of that world and reeling you into his consumes him. Shitty one bedroom apartment, cardboard boxes as bed side tables, stained carpet and a flickering kitchen lightbulb. Its almost feeds his cocky superiority complex. Being able to pull a beautiful doll like you, get you so obsessed and needy for him that you’d follow him to the shit hole he calls home.

Being so obedient, so willing, that you give up everything you’ve worked for just to submit to him…..

Receiving that sweet little letter excites the fuck out of him, don’t get me wrong, but it also scares him a little, his protective instincts kick in a bit.

If you’re one thing, its a little naive.

You’re so willing to give up sensitive information about yourself without a second thought, you’re very obviously extremely vulnerable and trusting….

As much as he wants to protect you, he also sees these personality traits to be extremely beneficial to him.

You’re very easy to reel in after the line is crossed from polite and friendly to more flirtatious and maybe even a little bit sexual.

He addresses you differently in his letters now, no longer just using your name and actively being more outwardly affectionate towards you

“Hello my sweet girl :)”

and

“been on my mind lot’ lately, been thinkin’ about you, thinkin’ all sorts of things I know I shouldn’t ;)”

Once that barriers broken and your letters are just as enthusiastic, he knows his got you.

His got you to a point that he knows asking for a phone call isn’t a risky move anymore :3

He plans it though, he knows exactly what his going to do on that phone call and he knows nobody can be around while his doing it.

Like I mentioned in the first fic, his sentence was reduced because of his good behaviour, this obviously means his on good terms with the guards and most of the other inmates. They all owe him a favour in one way or another. He hadn’t asked for his good deeds to be returned, not needing them to be……until now.

He writes to you deciding on a date and time, Thursday at 3am.

He wanted to be alone when he talked to you, have some privacy and not be bothered.

His on really good terms with the night guard who works Thursdays, with just a little bit of bribing, he could be let out and have his phone call with you alone.

“Listen mate, ya’ want to know who’s movin’ drugs in and out of this joint? I can tell ya’ with no worries, but I need ya’ to do me a solid favour”

The guard his reluctant of course, but like I mentioned, Simon can be calculated when he wants to be

“Magin’ the raise you’d get if ya’ could give ya’ bosses that information? I saw ya had a photo of a little girl on ya car keys, think bout all the toys n’ shit you could buy er’ with some extra cash”

And obviously, he got what he wanted, it was light work really ;)

As 3am slowly got closer, you were shitting yourself, lets be real. It was hard to wrap your head around Si being an actual person, you know? Like of course his real, but it was all becoming a reality now….

You were three large glasses of wine in when it was time to call.

When your phone started to ring from an unknown number, you swore your heart dropped :((

The call almost rang out before you got the courage to answer it :(

When you did a very deep, rough voice with a heavy Manchester accent answered, you could hear the smirk through the phone, a confident “hello sweetheart” to match :(

His voice had your breath catch for a minute….of course you’d come up with your own idea of what he would sound like, but never in a million years did you think he would sound so charming, so confident, filled with anticipation, like he had been waiting for this moment for weeks…like he had thought of you the same way you thought about him :(((

It made your tummy swirl, that all too familiar hot ache feeling buzz in your clit :3333

On the other end of the line Si gently stroked his throbbing cock as you said your hellos :((

Your voice was even more memorising then he imagined, sweet little nervous giggles as you spoke to him, quietly letting him know that you weren’t quite sure what to say, that you were a little on edge, maybe a little excited.

You could hear his laboured breath through the phone, a distant wet sound that you couldn’t describe, so quite that you didn’t know if it was real or just your preverted mind playing tricks on you, making you hear things that aren’t really there :(

Just the sound of your voice was driving Si crazy :( you’re just as sweet as he imagined you, maybe even sweeter

He knew it was wrong of him :(

He knew that asking you to join his little game was evil. He had you right were he wanted you, and asking you to play with your pussy for him on the other end of the phone while directing you on how to finger yourself as he fucks his girthy cock with his hand wasn’t what you deserved…..

But he couldn’t help himself, not when you were talking to him like that, so innocent and sweet :(((

“Sweetheart, I need ya’ to do me a favour darlin’, okay? His cock was so hard it hurt, voice out of breath and sweat dripping down his brow. You were within arms reach, so close but yet so far away.

“Slide ya’ hand into your panties baby, start playin’ with yourself, come on, tell me what you're doin, describe it to me”

You so easily obliged, so willing to please him :( agreeing nervously with a stutter and shaky breath as you tell him what your doing

Describing to him what you’re wearing, an oversized t-shirt with nothing underneath :( telling him you didn’t put panties on just for him :(

You let out a quite moan as you play with your tits, telling him how hard your nipples are, squeezing the pebbles and whining as he eggs you on

“That’s it baby, play with those tits for me, yeah?, that’s my girl, squeeze em’ for me, there ya’ go” Si had to lean himself against the phone box as his tip leaked with pre cum :((((

Using it to lubricate his vainy cock making the wet sounds louder through the phone, you whine louder at the thought of his cock, closing your eyes you trail your hand down to your panties and slowly slip underneath the fabric to play with your wet cunt, just like Si asked:(((

“Rub ya’ clit for me baby, tell me how good I make you feel, say ma’ name, say it” he wanted so badly to commit it to memory, lock it away for later >:(

You moan his name as you circle your clit, eyes shut as you imagine Si doing it for you instead. You chant his name while your back arches a little, pleasure building at the sound of his rough grunts and wet cock being pumped through the phone >:((((

“I know, I know sweetheart’ just hold on a little longer for me, yeah? That’s ma’ good girl, ya’ not cumin’ yet” his hand fisted his cock, squeezing himself as tight as possible and screwing his eyes shut trying to imagine he was fucking your wet pussy, not his callused hand rough and dirty from the weights he was lifting early that day :(

“Finger ya’ cunt baby, finger ya’ cunt and scream ma’ name”

You were dangerously close to the edge, the knot in your tummy tightening by the second, your once nervous moans now turned unashamed.

Taking your other hand and slipping it into your pussy, you let out a desperate whine, muling your hips as you pumped yourself, squelching noises matching Si’s as you abused your wet pussy :((((

“That’s ma’ perfect girl, that’s it. Come on, let go for me, let me hear those gorgeous moans”

Finally letting the coil snap your back arched like a cat, legs shaking as you moan his name, desperate whimpers as tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks

Si gritted his teeth as he pumped himself, ropes of his sperm painting the concrete wall in front of him as his heavy cock twitched in his hands, animalistic grunts falling from his lips as that feral pleasure he’d been chasing washed over him. :((

He’d never cum that hard in his life, vision blurry from the white hot pleasure with your heavy breaths in the background :3

Just as he was about to open his mouth, speak to you again, the phone cut out, he had used up all his time with you :(

Harsh beeps filling his ear as his cock slowly softened, tip bright red from the attention…

He needed you more then ever now, protective instinct going through the roof :(

Knowing you’re out there all alone with nobody to keep you safe made his blood boil…..

He needed to have a set of eyes on you, the constant letters weren’t enough anymore :((((

Maybe there was a bit of jealously as well, the thought that there may be someone else….

It drove him up the wall, made him feel rage he had only felt very few times in his life

If he couldn’t have his eyes on you, then he’d 100% send Johnny out to do the work for him.

Looking through your letters and highlighting when you mentioned the name of the cafe you went to every morning, the name of the bar you and your co-workers went to every Friday to celebrate the end of the week.

Of course he wouldn’t tell Johnny the truth, simply asking him to keep an eye on an “old friend that’s going through a rough time” while his locked up for the rest of his sentence :(

And Johnny obliged, happy that Simon was in contact with people that weren’t just 141.

Reporting back to him every week, always with a positive review :)

A soft thing like you cant be left to fend for yourself sweetheart, not in a world like this. But don’t worry, his got your back, even behind bars ;)

RAHHHHHHHH, him, my mind is filled with HIM

PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping - fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

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scaryinclusive · 4 months

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WORDS TO USE INSTEAD OF NARCISSIST.

by @scaryinclusive.

presently, narcissist is a word used to define individuals with narcissistic personality disorder. a narcissistic individual is someone exhibiting traits or symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. due to its widespread use as a derogatory, dehumanising and stigmatising label, despite its original purpose, the use of 'narcissist, narcissism and narcissistic' as an adjective, especially in an insulting, derogatory way, is ableist, sanist and stigmatising.

why should you consider altering your vocabulary and stop using words like 'narcissist' as an adjective — especially a derogatory one? please read this informative post. help the npd community out by opting to utilise less harmful, stigmatising language in your speech and writing! please note: the following words listed are not synonyms with or indicative of npd symptoms or traits. but for the context 'narcissist' is typically socially applied to, they are a beneficial replacement. feel free to reblog.

arrogant. an exaggerated sense of one's own worth or importance. this can come across as overbearing, or socially inappropriate.

selfish. very concentrated on one's own personal profit or pleasure, typically lacking consideration for others.

self-absorbed. preoccupied with one's own interests, feelings or situations.

boastful. excessive pride and self-satisfaction in one's own achievements, possessions or abilities.

braggart. same as above, just a synonym. relating more to bragging than boasting.

conceited. alternative for vain, excessively proud of oneself.

egotistical. excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself. a synonym for self-centred.

haughty. acting superior in an arrogant, disdainful way.

insolent. rude, arrogant, showing a lack of respect.

ostentatious. a pretentious or showy display, an attempt to impress.

overconfident. excessively confident, an excessive certainty in one's abilities.

proud. a deep pleasure or satisfaction gained from one's own achievements, qualities or possessions.

self-confident. trusting in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement.

self-important. an exaggerated sense of one's own value or importance.

superior. an overly high opinion of oneself. synonym for conceited.

vain. excessive high opinion of one's appearance, abilities or worth.

egocentric. thinking only of yourself, without regard for others' feelings or desires.

self-centred. preoccupied with oneself and one's affairs.

self-involved. preoccupied with oneself, not paying attention to anyone else.

smug. an excessive pride in oneself or one's achievements.

pompous. grand, self-important or solemn in a way that is insincere or pretentious.

self-serving. having concern for oneself and oneself only.

sycophant. someone who is too eager to praise or obey someone in order to gain an advantage.

complacent. smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.

vainglorious. overlay vain, excessively proud of oneself.

obnoxious. extremely unpleasant.

egoistic. relating to egoism, preoccupied with oneself, synonymous with self-centred.

callous. showing or having an insensitive or cruel disregard for others.

cruel. wilfully or deliberately causing pain / suffering to others, potentially with no remorse.

abusive / emotionally abusive. extremely offensive or insulting. a form of interaction wherein the abuser is psychologically controlling, manipulating or harming you.

manipulative. exercising control or influence over another individual or situation. can be intentional but equally can be subconscious.

self-righteous. a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior.

unsympathetic. not expressing, showing or feeling sympathy towards others or a situation.

toxic. poisonous, very harmful or unpleasant in a way that is pervasive or insidious.

insidious. the proceeding of something in a gradual, subtle way, but with extremely harmful effects.

malignant. very dangerous or harmful.

#mental health awareness #writing resources #actuallynpd #npd safe #rp resources #resources.#writing resources.#npd related.#will probably do one for like... aspd and psychotic or smth #as someone who has removed a bunch of words from my vocab #it's not impossible and if you really want to care about everyone you make the effort

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genericpuff · 3 months

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ok listen right

please don't take the implication of what i'm about to say the completely wrong way, there's a point i have to make here

there's this gross thing that happens in LO that's been definitely talked about numerous times (by many people) where fashion is used to label a character's like, "alignment" between "good" "bad" "pure" "tainted" etc. this is something that comes up a lot when discussing Minthe and Persephone because there are a LOAD of double standards in how Minthe was treated and viewed for dressing like a "slut" but then Persephone wears the exact same fit and suddenly she's a queen-

(image courtesy of @anoldplace on Instagram, I'll be showing a couple of their posts in this because they show off a lot of the great - and frankly disturbing - parallels in LO, whether intended by Rachel or not)

-but can we talk about how the "bad ending" version of Persephone where she ends up with Apollo slaps WAY FUCKING HARDER than anything we've seen her dressed in since she got with Hades ??

fucking hello?? where's THAT fit ??

you're telling me this girl is queen of the underworld and the best she can do in the fashion department is looking like a color-swapped version of Hera ???

and I WANNA MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR, this isn't me trying to say "Persephone would have been way cooler if she got with Apollo", that is FAR from the point, more so just pointing out the pattern of Rachel aligning "bad" with "dresses with more flavor than an extremely out-of-touch conservative boomer". Even when she tries to draw Persephone in more "out there" clothing it just comes across as ... tacky? And only at her own detriment?

Like, how the fuck is this supposed to be Persephone being drawn through a literal male gaze (Apollo):

And THIS is supposed to be Persephone being drawn from a female gaze (her own because she dressed herself):

Like literally how? How does this happen? Especially when the latter is STILL being framed from a male perspective (the green guy behind her, "Jeffrey") but we're supposed to believe it's some "boss babe" moment for Persephone to just be walking down the street while getting oggled inappropriately by a male onlooker? How could these scenes be any more different and yet more alike? She's still being objectified for the characters around her and the audience, but we're supposed to believe the second is better than the first one because... she chose to wear that?

Sure, one could argue that at least she dressed herself and that definitely gives her agency, but it's really Rachel telling on herself where her priorities are in trying to write a "feminist comic" that she had Persephone dress herself and then STILL have its only purpose be for men on the sidelines to stare at and objectify her. When you just know this same outfit would have undoubtedly been used to slut shame characters like Minthe or Thetis or Leuce.

I don't even know, man. The intentions in LO's writing are so confused, contradictory, and ultimately pointless. It's trying so hard to be "feminist" and a "deconstruction of purity culture" but then it turns around and reinforces all that same shit it's claiming to be fighting against anyways. Persephone would be an evil slut if she was with Apollo, look at her outfit! But not here, not the banana purse dress being oggled by strangers on the sidewalk, not now that she settled down with her old rich husband who she only knew for a couple weeks before being separated for 10 years but their love was just so strong and the thirst for dick so real that she and him loyally waited for one another until she was old enough to make it "not be creepy" anymore for them to hook up, but only after marriage. She's definitely not a gold digger like Minthe or a vapid slut like Thetis or a homewrecker like Leuce, nah.

I just wish she'd dress herself, for the love of god. Let her dress herself with her own input and not the influence of the people around her or the tone of the comic's own internalized misogyny that demands "woman must always be objectified for better or for worse, that is The Rule!"

Of course she can't "dress herself" though. She's an extension of Rachel and Rachel herself writes like an out-of-touch boomer who will and has gladly gone about how men are just clamoring at the bit to stare at her and get to her... but then claims she "didn't realize sexism was all that bad" until she started working on LO.

Sorry, this post got very long and very mean, I initially just wanted to make the comparison in a very silly haha "wild how bad ending Persephone has way more visual personality than good ending Persephone" way, but then I thought about it too long and pissed myself off LMAO

And no, I don't want to go back to beating the dead horse of "banana dress bad" because honestly, I think in any other context or comic, sure, it would be very cute to see her walking around in an outfit she chose herself even if it's "objectively" not a great outfit, it shows agency and not caring what other people think which is VERY freeing. But we're not reading that comic, we're reading LO, where a woman's worth and value is only determined by how the men around her react to her and only Persephone is allowed to be empowered by wearing outfits that would otherwise be treated as "slutty" if worn by anyone else.

I don't want the message to be "Persephone looks like a dumbass bimbo" or, on the flipside, "Persephone looks boring and out-of-touch", I want the message to be "Persephone is valid for dressing how she wants, just like how the women around her are valid for dressing how they want regardless of whether or not they're protagonists or antagonists."

Quit using women's fashion as an alignment chart, quit using these "not so sly for a misogynist guy" dogwhistles as a way to "other" the women around the power fantasy main character. Women deserve to dress how they want without shame or objectification - all women, not just the women you like.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

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chirpsythismorning · 8 months

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Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

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