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ari-kari · 1 month

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hey. gnarly gender stuff below. wouldn’t recommend reading if you are triggered by gender doubt, detransition, sexuality, negative body talk, and surgical malfeasance. oh and also light gore. sorry it’s going to get kind of weird

so I’ve been quietly stepping away from id’ing as trans for a while now. which is a subject that probably needs its own post, all things considered. but there’s one aspect of my (de)transition that is causing an enormous amount of stress in my life, and I’m genuinely not sure how to handle it. so I figured blabbing about it here might help me get some clarity.

anyways. let’s talk titties.

my first top surgery in 2022 was botched. dog ears, massive janky nipples, bizarre incision site choices - it was a whole deal. I got a revision last year (from the same surgeon lmao) that fixed a lot of things, but unfortunately it made other problems significantly worse. So while aesthetically things are much better than they used to be, I still consider myself to be botched. I haven’t taken my top off in public since it happened, and I don’t see myself doing so any time soon.

For a long time, I assumed that this was my only problem; some asshole small town doctor had messed up my results, and now I felt uncomfortable in my body. But it slowly began to dawn on me that things were more complicated than that. Because when I imagined myself being intimate with someone with perfect, stellar top surgery results…I still felt horrible. To the point where, even with nipple prosthetics, I haven’t felt comfortable enough to have sex since my revision 9 months ago.

So now we get into the crux of the problem. Which is this - I do not feel desireable without breasts. Not to myself, and not to others. And to be honest, I knew this would be a problem even before I got the surgery, but I went through with it anyways. Because desireability is small potatoes when it comes to the horrors of gender dysphoria, right? In my mind, I was being vain to put my intimacy concerns over the pursuit of my “true self”. Everyone with dysphoria had to “fix” it eventually - I couldn’t just not get top surgery.

But like…fuck, dude. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten top surgery.

I prefer my body without breasts. It feels much more “me”, especially when I’m alone. But I don’t feel hot. I don’t feel fuckable, or beautiful, or attractive. And I’ve been trying to chip away at it in therapy, but I haven’t really put much of a dent in it, and it’s bringing up some really hard questions that I no longer feel capable of ignoring.

Honestly? My confidence in my sexuality is a big fucking deal to me. I’m someone for whom intimacy of all kinds is really important. And even though I know that there are PLENTY of people who find flat chests attractive, I personally do not. And it’s seriously starting to fuck with my head.

Idk man. Insurance is able to cover reconstruction for me due to a federal loophole, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to fix my jacked-up nipples on their own. And I’m seriously beginning to question if a little gender dysphoria might be worth the relief of finally feeling confident in my own skin again. I have a consultation appointment in June, in either case. So in the mean time, I just have to…figure this out. No biggie.

Anyways, that’s my spiel. I’ve been wearing prosthetics for a while now and tolerating them fairly well, but I recognize that having something physically attached to you is a whole other ball game. So we’re just gonna keep on trucking and see what happens 🫠🫠🫠 either way I have a funny feeling that the “perfect” answer I’ve been seeking to this problem does not exist.

#personal #gender dysphoria #detransition #body horror #body dysmorphia #i need to sleep lmao #also obligatory ‘my detransition story is not meant as an indictment of the trans movement as a whole’ etc #mental health

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webbywatcheshorror · 11 months

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Thirteen Ghosts (2001)

Thir13en (or Thirteen/13) Ghosts is a story about a family that inherits a bizarre and beautiful house from a late relative that contains many secrets- and a basement full of murderous ghosts.

This is one of my personal favorites and has been since I was a kid. It came out in 2001 so the earliest I could have seen it would be when I was around 12 or so, and that’s assuming I saw it the year it came out, which I literally have no way of knowing. I’m going to operate under the assumption I saw it at 13 because it’s likely, and it’s thematically hilarious to me.

Also it definitely is one of about three ghost related movies that really solidified ghosts as being my ‘thing’.

Enough about that, let’s talk about the movie! Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS ahead!

I literally cannot overstate how much I love this movie. It’s one of the first real horror movies I ever saw as a child, and it’s definitely one of the ones that altered my brain chemistry to a degree that could never be undone. SO much of what I love in a horror movie comes from this one.

Weird house? Check. Loads of ghosts? Check, obviously. Pathetic but attractive guy covered in blood? Check. Jokes that make me cackle but don’t interrupt the flow of the movie? Check. Body horror that makes my skin crawl? Check, check, check. A twist that’s set up previously in the movie if you’re REALLY sharp eyed? Check. Environmental storytelling, a weird morbid kid, two worlds in one space, and a WHOLE LOT of lore. It’s got it all!

The cold open is so good. It establishes the level of violence the dead are capable of (The Breaker having more than tripled his kill count after his death, for example), and gives us some major players and their clashing personalities. It also kind of reminds me of the opening scene in Jurassic park where they’re moving a raptor into the enclosure and it all goes to hell in a similar way.

Every new thing that gets mentioned just draws me further in, and I, a known sucker for lore, want to know everything. If I lived in that world, Cyrus would have had me hook, line, and SINKER, as long as he promised me ghost knowledge lmao. I’d be dead as hell so fast.

The inciting tragedy for the main characters plays over the opening credits and this, too, is something I adore. The environment changes along with the audio- a cheerful house with a loving family fades into a crummy, box-filled apartment while the anguished cries of Arthur and his children mourn the loss of their mother Jean as the camera pans to the left. We don’t have to see it to know what happened, or how much pain its caused.

One thing I love, love, love about this movie is how much story is told through the environment and small details alone, rather than just explained by the characters. Arthur doesn’t say he’s struggling to keep his shit together, but his instant mood swing at a small inconvenience sure does. The past due bills pinned to the corkboard in the background do, too. The set designers did an amazing job- I could probably find hidden important details in every scene if I had the time to comb through them.

Some other things I want to mention in this first part of the movie- the pictures of the house that the lawyer shows the family are all taken in a way that obscures the fact that every wall is glass; when we’re shown Kalina’s place, there’s a newspaper clipping about Cyrus’s death that names Ben Moss, the lawyer, as the spokesperson of Cyrus’s company, hinting at him having more of an involvement than simply the lawyer; and how nobody in the family really tries to deter Bobby from his obsession with death even if it makes them a little uncomfortable.

The glass house is so iconic. It’s so fucking weird and impractical and sinister and beautiful all at once. And that’s BEFORE it goes full Rube Goldberg. There is nothing at all about this house that gives the vibe that you should move in here and raise your children. Hell there’s nothing at all that gives the vibe that it’s even a house. It’d be a museum, if anything, especially with how much stuff Cyrus has crammed in there.

Except the library. Almost all the books are on the floor in there. Cyrus I’m going to throttle you, you could have had the coolest occult library but instead you just stacked that shit on the ground. I’m so disappointed in you. It’s such a weird choice, given how much else he clearly planned out: every room has the ghost glasses in it somewhere, and there are multiple rooms that might tempt each new resident (living or dead perhaps). He wanted them to see their oncoming doom, wanted them to feel terror and heartbreak and despair. He planned for so many possibilities it’s actually pretty impressive- he knew the lawyer would kick off the process by going right for the money, for example, and it’s clear that he wasn’t told just how fast shit would pop off, since he just sort of saunters back down the corridor instead of getting the hell out as fast as possible. Nobody else was meant to leave that house alive, except Cyrus.

Cyrus himself is so easily hateable right from the get-go. He’s an asshole, he’s pushy and considers everyone else beneath him, and every new sentence out of his mouth makes me hate him more. There’s no attempt made to get the audience to sympathize with him, with the possible exception of the video they play as part of his will and testament, not that it works very well. What a great villain, and a fascinating character as well. I hate him so much. I’m delighted I got to see him die twice. (Ok so the first one was a fake out but it was still satisfying.)

And then there’s Dennis. Just as I hated Cyrus immediately, so did I love Dennis immediately. He’s a tormented little weirdo with psychic abilities, hunting ghosts and hating every minute of it just so he can have some kind of human interaction that doesn’t center on him being the target of whatever cruelty’s going on. He’s kind of an asshole, but he’s still compassionate (to the living at least), and funny to boot. Also, he’s played by Matthew Lillard, so of course I was going to love him. (However, at this point in my life, the only other thing I’d seen with him in it was Scooby-Doo, so the whiplash was real lmao.)

Honestly the man is prime blorbo real estate, as the kids might say. I’m surprised at how few fics there are on Ao3 for this movie/man.

My god, the lore in this movie is incredible. Each and every ghost has a name and a story, despite never getting addressed in the movie itself, and they all look phenomenally unique. They all have clearly distinct personalities, too, despite all (well almost all) of them being murderous freaks. I’d love to watch a miniseries or something about each spirit, I’d eat that up.

I loved the twist reveals, both Kalina’s and Cyrus’s. I really would like to know how he got her to fall for him, and whether she’d always been on his side or if she’d started out genuinely opposing him. One thing’s obvious though, and it’s that she is terrified of the man. Her personality does almost a complete 180 in his presence, she’s overexplaining, she’s desperate for his approval. It’s funny that, just a few minutes earlier, she’d taunted Dennis about how Cyrus was just using him and didn’t actually care about him, yet apparently never suspected the same about herself.

One more thing I’d like to mention is that I love how the family, and only the family, survives. Cyrus gets what he deserves, Kalina is betrayed, and Dennis sacrifices himself, but the entire family makes it out alive- including Maggie, the nanny. Where other movies might not have considered her family enough, and killed her off, this one says no, she’s part of the family. She gets to live. Which is great, since she was so right about pretty much everything, as well as probably the funniest character. (I will never not laugh at ‘did the lawyer split?’)

I do want to know what happens to all the ghosts, as after the destruction of the house they can all be seen presumably going off to commit murder elsewhere. And of course I also want to know where Ghost-Dennis went off to. Did he cross over? Did he decide to tag along with the family? Did he go off on his own? Whatever he chose, he finally looked somewhat at peace for the first time in the entire movie.

Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s because of how it shaped my interest in ghosts and horror, maybe it’s because I can’t resist a good pun, but I give this one 13 outta ten ghosts. I’ve seen this movie probably about 167 times and still haven’t gotten tired of it and I hope I never will.

#thirteen ghosts #thir13en ghosts #13 ghosts #horror movies #movie review #webbywatcheshorror #matthew lillard #tony shalhoub #f murray abraham #ghosts #shannon elizabeth #rah digga

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natsmagi · 3 months

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big boob tsumugi haters are the weakest links like. ur just jealous she gets pussy and u dont !!!!!! besides, as a big boob having person myself I LOVE HER. and she is ME. just bc shes the beauty standard doesnt mean shes WRONG??? i dont get why people get mad over her having big boobs when also natsumes there not having big boobs . does thar make sense ??? IDK!!!!

SHES JUST LIKE U!!!! AND YEA NO I GET YOU!!! this whole thing has just been so bizarre. like genuinely people are allowed to disagree with me and hate me and think my art is bad or WHATEVER but to expect big corporation PR level responses from me about. fucking Anime Boobs. and proceed to attacking my thoughts and opinions is weird. maybe i did speak out of line! im SURE my emotions got the better of me and i came off as preachy as hell! but that doesnt make my arguments hollow or virtue signaling 😭 im just a person on the internet responding to asks. why are ppl placing these unrealistic expectations on me. its uncomfortable

#sad to announce i am in fact a human being behind the screen #i never even wanted an audience to begin with!! i just want to share my silly stuff!!!#anyway we should all draw big tiddie mugi i think #just for fun!#this whole thing has been exhausting and needlessly dramatic SO LETS JUST HAVE FUN!#ask

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aemiron-main · 1 year

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time for more talk abt gay Mike: looking at how milkvan is set up is really interesting. because imo there’s absolutely no way in hell it was ever meant to be mutually romantic, especially in season 1, which is why it frankly baffles me sometimes that people point to S1 as evidence of Mike being romantically attracted to El. I’m not going to go through all of the evidence form s1 that he isn’t into her/is gay, but please just think about it for a second:

if you were a writer. and you wanted to set up a story that WAS about two people falling in love/even just being attracted to eachother in a puppy love way, two people experiencing any attraction at all even if it’s not “true love,” and you wanted to take your readers on the journey of falling out of love with someone or realizing that you like them but love somebody else more or realizing that you’re just not comparable as people, or anything like that, why the fuck would you have one of them ask the other if he’s going to be like her brother & then have him concede that he would be like her brother right before they kiss?

Like. There’s no need for it. Not only does it add NOTHING to a “falling in love/young love/puppy love/crush” story, but it actively takes away from that story (which it’s intended to do bc Mike is gay and never loved El romantically) and makes it weird and reinforces the association of that supposedly romantic relationship with platonic ones (familial relationships).

It would literally be one of the strangest (in a bad way) and stupidest ways possible to approach a genuine falling in love/crush/any form of mutual attraction scene and arc. It makes no fucking sense. Those familial parallels are not only pointless if Mike ever loved El (which would be bizarre for a show that plans out all of its scenes so meticulously that they basically never have unused footage) but they actively fly in the face of the idea of him loving her romantically/having a crush on her/any form of genuine romantic attraction because the familial parallels contextualize their bond as a platonic one.

It just makes absolutely no sense even just solely from a surface-level writing point of view. There’s no reason for it AND it would be actively detrimental to a “mutually attracted even if it’s just a crush” narrative. And so not only do we have those familial parallels ALONE hammering in the idea that Mike was never romantically attracted to El, but in addition to that, we have scenes of Mike being outright repulsed by other girls, so it’s not just El. He doesn’t like girls. He isn’t attracted to them. Gay gay homosexual gay!!! Like please seriously just sit down and really think about how absolutely bizarre it would be for not just one writer but MULTIPLE professional writers to sit down and go “yknow what’s really going to sell this puppy love? yknow what’s really going to sell the crush and the mutual attraction? yknow what’s really going to demonstrate the idea of falling in love with someone but then out of love with them/just not being compatible as people personality-wise? yknow what’s really going to make our viewers get hit in the gut by the feeling of falling out of love by building up the love first and then having it deteriorate? BLATANT VERBATIM FAMILIAL PARALLELS WHERE THEYRE ASKING EACHOTHER IF THEYLL BE LIKE SIBLINGS TO THE POINT WHERE IT MAKES THE VIEWERS PHYSICALLY UNCOMFORTABLE!”

Please be fr. Just think about how insane that is. It makes no fucking sense and it makes no fucking sense BECAUSE Mike and El were never meant to be romantic, Mike was never romantically attracted to El because he is gay, he never fell out of love with her because he never loved her romantically, if it was supposed to be a story about falling out of love with someone and then into love with someone else and trying to balance them, then they would’ve built up milkvan in a genuine, non familial way first. but they didn’t. the familial weirdness and platonic bond has been there since the start. since season 1. they have been tearing the idea of romantic milkvan down ever since Mike and El first crossed paths.

I am just. Begging people to really think about it because it would be such a comically ridiculous writing choice of they were ever meant to be romantic. Like PLEASE think about a room of writers going “gee what should this puppy love couple say before their first kiss? what really encapsulates the feeling of having a crush on someone even if it’s not true love? oh I know! “Will you be like my brother?” “No! Well, yeah, I guess it wouldn’t be any different.””

Like holy shit. It’s literally hilarious to even consider it. It makes no fucking sense whatsoever if they were trying to set up a genuine romance/crush/puppy love/any form of attraction on mike’s behalf.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #st analysis #milkvan

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jojolymes · 2 years

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𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎; twenty-three

࿔*:･ﾟ xxiii.

next: ࿔*:･ﾟ xxiv. | table of contents

YOU HAD awoken to the sound of clattering cans, disoriented, groggy, and feverish. Drool had slipped past your lips, dribbling into a pool beside your head. Your hat had barely stuck to your head, long strands of your hair poking out and stuck to your face. "I told you there's only one cup, right here!" Oh, that was Johnny. You slowly sat up, placing a clammy hand on your forehead which felt uncomfortably warm. It was better than burning hot though, so you couldn't complain. You shuffled your legs over the edge of the couch, pulling the blankets wrapped around them to the side. The smell of your blend of coffee wafted over from the kitchen. Johnny must have prepared some.

Your thoughts were interrupted by an odd barking cry or like someone choking and trying to clear their throat. It was, for lack of better words, bizarre. You blinked hard— you must have been hearing things. "What a queer!" you heard Johnny say, making you raise a brow. Diego must have been acting odd again. You sighed and got to your feet slowly, only to be interrupted by another set of weird sounds. This time it sounded more like cooing with a sharp edge to it or some sort of clacking. You couldn't ignore it this time and decided to see for yourself. But the first step you took left you lightheaded, making you stumble back onto the couch.

"Fuck," you mumbled as you sunk into the cushions, the beginning of a headache creeping onto your temple. This was seriously getting old. "What the hell is under that bandage, Diego?!" You stiffened up when Johnny yelled those words, but this time, you were distracted by something hitting your face. You flinched, swatting the thing away until it floated back towards the kitchen. "A...fly?" Just as quickly as it had flown into the room, it had returned, this time with a ton more. You grimaced, holding back a screech as you swatted them away fervently, getting to your feet once more to get out into the kitchen.

What you didn't expect was to be met face to face with a teal...monster. The second a scream left your mouth you had been thrown across the kitchen, hitting the beige wall hard enough to knock the wind out of you. "Speedwagon!" Your vision was spotty and all you could hear was the clattering of metal and Johnny's frantic cries for you and Gyro. But something was off. You could feel blood trickle down from your head and when you went to feel the spot, there was no hat to prevent you from doing so. "No," you muttered, raising your gaze to see your hat sitting a few feet away— your entire body went cold.

That couldn't have happened. Iron Maiden usually kept it stuck to your head, regardless of whether or not you had been in a fight. You could be tossed around and beaten up and still that hat would stick to you. The blood from your wound dripped down onto the floor as you stared at your hat, unable to understand. This wasn't happening. Your vision wavered as you moved to try and get it, your head feeling heavier by the second. The blood running down your face was starting to drip from off your eyelashes, staining your bandana.

"Shit! He can dodge my nail bullets at this distance!" You whipped around to find Johnny pinned under the monster, his nails useless against it. He had been laying in a way that he couldn't see you, and you almost sighed in relief. Now you could grab your hat and— the monster swung its arm, claw ready to slash through Johnny's throat. You didn't have a second to think as you lunged between the claw and Johnny, grabbing his shoulders and rolling into the wall as Gyro's steel ball made the monster step backward.

"J-Johnny! Are you okay?!" you asked frantically, pulling your body away from his as he opened his tightly shut eyes. When you met his eyes, they widened, skimming over your bloodied face. Your hair fell around your face and Johnny was tempted to tuck it back behind your ears. "Speedwagon...your...your hat," Johnny said in awe, as you grimaced, looking up to see Gyro standing in the doorframe, shocked at both the monster's speed and your lack of hat. You looked back down at Johnny just as the bandana around your face loosened, about to fall until you slapped a hand behind your head and backed away from Johnny, not meeting his gaze.

There was no time to explain yourself when the steel ball that had crashed into the wall flew backward, hitting the monster and landing in Gyro's open palm. But before either of you knew it, the monster was gone and heading straight for him. "Gyroooooo! Above you!" Johnny screamed as it pinned Gyro to the table. You grit your teeth, pushing yourself off the floor to help Gyro only to fall to the ground instead. "Dammit!" you cursed, palming the back of your head with a grimace. You must have hit your head too hard. The monster cawed again, making you look up, finding Gyro peering at you from between the monster's jaws.

"Gyro!" You tensed as the monster readied itself to bite Gyro, only to make out Gyro's smirk. Somehow, just that little smirk settled your nerves and you calmly watched from afar. "So is it your goal to find the next corpse part? Or are you simply going to kill us and take it?" Gyro asked as the monster paused, teeth hovering around Gyro's head, "seems you're pretty damn sensitive to sudden movements. But if something is moving slowly...it wouldn't be taken as a threat and you wouldn't dodge it, eh?" The monster looked distracted by something on the counter and you took that as a sign to slowly head for your hat.

"If it doesn't seem like an attack, you'd be relieved... no need to dodge." As the monster slowly backed away from Gyro's face, a can rolled toward its leg innocuously. Seconds later, a steel ball tore from within it, hitting the monster in the throat. This impact sent it flying backward, right beside your hat. "No," you mustered out in shock as the monster's claws laid right beside it. "It didn't seem to do much damage!" observed Gyro before reckoning you and Johnny to the door, "he's getting up! My steel ball won't hit him! Both of you hurry up and get outside!" There was no time to grab your hat and you instead stumbled out the door, Gyro closing it quickly behind you.

"My hat," you mumbled weakly, sinking against the wood when it suddenly rattled. You took a sharp breath and pushed your weight against it, trying to blink back tears. How could you have been so careless? Why was Iron Maiden not working? "We'll get it back. Don't worry," Gyro said suddenly as the door started to buckle against the monster that had tried breaking through it. Once more, you felt instant relief and nodded, gaining the slightest bit of hope that you would get it back. A sudden crack brought you back to the current situation, the wood breaking as the pounding against the door got stronger.

"What is this?! What kind of stand ability is it?!" cried Johnny as you all struggled to keep the door from breaking or slamming open. "A stand ability? That's from a stand?!" you screeched as your jaw tensed, the wood splintering between your fingertips. "Diego's body has gained the ability of a dinosaur's body!" Gyro clarified while your whole body ran cold. That was Diego? "But...how?!" you screeched as the monster— Diego, you corrected yourself— didn't relent against the door. "We have no idea!" Johnny yelled, sweat dripping down the side of his face, "but what the hell even is a dino-sore?!"

"You don't know?" Gyro asked as you looked over at Johnny who looked away awkwardly. Well, it wasn't like you knew either. "To be fair, neither do I," you muttered as Gyro looked between you both with disbelief. "I can't believe you guys," Gyro sighed as the threat of Diego slowly slipped away from the forefront of your thought, "they're these huge creatures! Bigger than African elephants! In 1838, a scholar named Owen coined the word dinosaur and started calling them that!" You hummed but then remembered just how big the dinosaur version of Diego was.

"Well, this one's smaller than an elephant," Johnny said aloud making you nod fervently, "yeah, that's what I was thinking." Gyro frowned, a crick in his brow as he scoffed, "shut up! Anyways, they existed long before mankind was born on Earth!" Another loud crack made you realize that Diego had started pounding against the door again. You grimaced and put more of your weight against it while Johnny readjusted his arm up higher and Gyro spun around to push the door with his palms. "So why does Diego have the ability of something so old?!" asked Johnny as the wood splintered even further.

"It could have something to do with fossils. Ever since the fossil discovery in the Rocky Mountains, tons more have been discovered!" Gyro suggested as one harsh blow to the door from Diego made some wood break off and hit the back of your head. "Fuck!" you cried, falling to the ground and cradling your head with your palms, tears rushing to your eyes as you tried not to let your swimming vision cause you any more trouble. "Shit! Speedwagon, are you-" Gyro stopped short, looking at Johnny's arm and then looking back at the sky behind your curled-up figure.

One final crack was all the warning you had until the door had started breaking apart, Diego's claws swinging from between the holes. "Damn! The door's being ripped up! We have to go down the cliff! Speedwagon! Johnny!" Gyro bellowed as you tried to sit up, head still cradled in your hand. "No, I'm not going! If Diego's after the corpse, we need to defeat Diego! And just the opposite, don't move no matter what! Diego can't see motionless things!" Gyro went wide-eyed at Johnny's resistance but only then noticed the vivid blue eye of the dinosaur seconds away from attacking you all.

You hadn't expected Gyro to lunge forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him as you slid in the dirt. Your arms had been tucked close to your body, head against Gyro's chest. His body felt warm compared to the cool air around you both and had Diego not slid out of the house to writhe in the dirt a few feet away, you may have even relaxed in his grasp. Before you could stop yourself, you had already looked up, meeting his gaze with burning cheeks.

"Don't move! For some reason, Diego can only see moving things! Isn't that how dinosaurs are?!" Johnny whisper-shouted as Gyro shuffled the both of you backward, hitting something furry. A shudder ran down your spine as the smell of rotting flesh overwhelmed your senses. Your face wrinkled up but you hadn't expected to be pulled into Gyro's chest, which almost made you throw up. You gagged silently, wishing you could go back to smelling the dead animal corpse instead.

Diego's huffs and low-clicking noises made you stiffen up, trembling as he slowly approached you and Gyro. Then he stopped, huffing once more and then turning around, heading toward the cliffside. "Yes...he thinks we went down the cliff," Johnny muttered through grit teeth, making you almost let out a breath of relief. Suddenly, though, Diego had tilted his nose up into the air, sniffing a few times. You could feel the muscles in Gyro's arms shift around you as Diego stepped back toward you all.

"Hey, did he find out? I think he did! He's sniffing like a dog! He's coming back!" Gyro mumbled as he unintentionally pulled you close again. What were you? A teddybear? Yet, you couldn't move out of his grip and relented your mental strife, letting your head lean against Gyro's chest once more. Despite the...musk... Gyro had an earthy, pine scent to him. Like some kind of herb that you couldn't put a name to. But it wasn't at all as prominent as the terrible body odor emanating from his sweaty body.

"Don't panic. There's no way he knows. He's smelling this bear! He could smell the coffee but he couldn't tell where it was!" Johnny murmured while Diego got closer and closer. You could feel your entire body go tense when Diego hovered over you all with heavy breaths and sharp teeth. Unexpectedly, his tail swung directly between you and Johnny, Gyro still holding you close. You stayed still, barely flinching, and still petrified. Diego, seemingly disappointed, turned around and scuttled back into the house, finally allowing you to breathe out a sigh.

"Are you okay?" Gyro asked in a hushed tone, moving his hand to palm the back of your head gently. The second your head touched his hand, your head throbbed and you held back a whimper. You couldn't meet Gyro's eyes when he withdrew his hand, bringing back a blood-stained palm. His brow furrowed in concern and looked over at Johnny with a frown. "Speedwagon, you need something to stop the bleeding," Gyro stated as his gaze settled on the bandana wrapped around your mouth and nose.

You looked up and went wide-eyed when you saw him staring at the bandana, head starting to shake. "No, no," you whispered as you gripped the fabric of Gyro's shirt, "I'll be fine. I just need to bring out Iron Maiden and I'll be okay." You shut your eyes tight before Gyro could utter another word, willing Iron Maiden to come out and heal your wounds. But there was nothing. No tingles and faint touches all over. Nothing. As reality set in, you felt Gyro pull you closer than ever before, making you open your eyes to find Diego walking back out of the house with a steel ball.

"Gyro! He knows that the spinning ball returns to you..."

"...HE'S TRYING TO FIND YOU WITH YOUR STEEL BALL!"

#palominosbr #steel ball run #sbr #jojo #jjba x reader #johnny joestar x reader #gyro zeppeli x reader #hot pants x reader #diego brando x reader

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nyxknocks · 2 months

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What a bizarre little movie. I definitely enjoyed it but oh man, what the hell.

I think a big part of this movie is its intention to make you feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. The family depicted is a very dysfunctional one each with their own quirks--the troubled younger sibling, the older sibling where all the pressure lies, the dad putting on airs and the peacemaker mom who seems aware enough of whats going on but does virtually nothing to stop it or help, just makes the dad try to deal with it. It feels almost satirical in how it portrays the family because the male figurehead is well. Useless. Also weak (since he gets his shit rocked at the ending). It's like the director is mocking the "traditional Japanese family" by putting them into hyperfocus.

Like, when you see the family all together they are always cramped and crammed together. Privacy and personal space just does not exist with this family, which creates several funny moments when the tutor shows up and seems to assimilated perfectly into the family unit or in contrast, with the new neighbor who physically moves her chair to the opposite side of the table and expresses her discomfort. When the bully comes to the house, he's crowded in by the tutor too, again reaffirming his assimilation into the family unit. He's like a parasite. The way he eats and drinks, it's like he's a physical representation of gluttony. He's slobbish and rude but seemingly fits in perfect with the family because no one questions his position there, even after he smacks the youngest.

It's interesting how many variations of games are utilized in this film and I think its intentional. You see the top down look of the students during PE class, or you see the close shots of the rollercoaster marbles. The video games. The teacher even makes the kids play fetch with their graded papers. It's very dramatic and very extra and goofy as all hell, but there's intention behind it all. The family unit itself are a game as well. The youngest is seemingly seeing how far he can push against the rigid structure of being a competitive student just because his dad/society expects it, as well as the fact that they all play their parts. The oldest son is the "perfect" child. Quiet, keeps to himself, stays out of the trouble his younger brother gets in, gets good grades, etc. The youngest fights against the rigidity like I already stated. The mom is docile and demur and follows the commands of the men in the house, and the dad plays his role as the family figurehead (despite being an alcoholic). They're like. Role playing. Which is why the final scene with the dinner is so important because the tutor comes in and shines a light on the fakeness and stereotypes of this family, shakes it up and literally destroys their false appearances. The physical proximity is used to make up for the fact that this family is not emotionally close at all.

The tutor is an agent of chaos, but I think its more so just because he is a sponge and, to reuse the same words, assimilated into the family so well. We see him outside of the family and he's still slobbish and weird but when he's with this family its heightened how just gross and icky he is. The dad immediately gets in his face and all up close and personal with homoerotic undertones and instead of backing off, he leans into it. Likely to use it for his advantage. Similarly, he keeps the energy for the youngest but also ew gross that's a child. I was worried the whole time that he was gonna groom this child and I think like, in a way he did it just wasn't sexual. The family themselves are quirky and weird and unnerving and I think the tutor just... went along with it, because he knew it was a situation he could take advantage of. At the end he gets the money he was owed, has no ties to the family, so he does this absurd and ridiculous food fight shit as a way to be like "this is how I really feel about this".

Fascinating film. The film techniques were of course incredible, specifically the shot the transitions from one room into another. The ending with the high-up angle of the mom made me wonder if this was about to be a Donnie Darko ending with the damn helicopter. You were literally on edge the whole movie for various different reasons, and it's pretty impressive they maintained that momentum.

The disappearing bookcase on the desk... did it show up at the school desk? I swear I saw it there.

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mylifeincinema · 1 year

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My Week in Reviews: May 6, 2023

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3 (James Gunn, 2023)

Loved it.

Every single moment is earned. The needle drops get better and better and build to a joyous, cathartic and downright amazing moment at the end. James Gunn directs the hell out of his pitch-perfect script, allowing these characters to evolve in a manner as interesting as it is entertaining as it is organic. Especially Rocket, duh. And the new characters fit right in; Adam Warlock is a hilarious pain-in-the-ass, Cosmo is awesome (she is a Good Dog), this version of Gamora plays great in the context of this story, and The High Evolutionary makes for one of the very best MCU villains, to date. The visuals are everything Quantumania's failed to be; exciting, well-rendered and so delightfully weird. It has a hallway fight that rivals just about beats Daredevil’s. The Winter Soldier is still the best single MCU film, but this trilogy is the MCU’s heart and soul. Each has been better than the one it follows. It's treated its cast of characters with humor and respect while serving the actors plenty of strange and badass material, throughout. Waititi should watch and takes notes on the character growth in these films. I'll be going to see this again as soon as possible. I really hate that it's over... I want to go on ten more misadventures with these assholes. Kevin Feige has made some questionable and straight-up bad moves throughout Phase Four, but the worst by far was losing Gunn to DC.

Seriously, though... Cosmo is such a Good Dog. - 10/10

Beau is Afraid (Ari Aster, 2023)

Too long. The first and final acts are fantastic, and conjure and explore Beau's fear and guilt in a way that's as unnerving as it is authentic in its deep-rooted understanding. The second and third acts meander, and despite several truly absurd, uncomfortably hilarious moments, should've been trimmed by a solid 70%. The cast is great, and commit to even the most bizarre moments throughout. Aster's direction is suffocating in its barrage of the uncomfortable and unsettling moments with which he incessantly assaults Beau. It's an interesting movie with wild ideas and equally strange execution, but it all comes down to this... It's just way too fucking long. - 6.5/10

Enjoy!

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

#film #movies #guardians of the galaxy: vol. 3 #guardians of the galaxy #beau is afraid #movie reviews #my week in reviews #james gunn #ari aster #new movies #mcu #movie #film review

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foxounderscorecube · 1 year

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A Court of Frost and Starlight - Sarah J. Maas

2½ ⭐

CW: mention and brief discussion of SA

Sadly, this one was a total miss for me!! It was a book. I read it.

Here's the thing: I really like this series overall, but there's a lot about it that I am not a big fan of. Typically, the stuff I find interesting and fun outweighs the stuff I find cringe in a not-fun way or just not relevant to my preferences. Because this book is kind of a slice-of-life, tying loose ends kind of thing, it was, like, 90% the stuff I don't care for and 10% the characters being cute and celebrating Christmas Winter Solstice. Worst of all, it bored me!

I don't have anything against slice-of-life, but for the characters in these books, a LOT of day-to-day life is spent being horny. I just don't really get it. Rhysand is the worst for it. That man can't go five minutes without getting a raging boner because he glanced at Feyre out the corner of his eye.

You know, for a series with the effects of trauma as one of its primary themes, Rhysand only really tells us that he's traumatised from being a sex slave for 49 years. I'm not saying that his horniness contradicts his trauma in itself - plenty of people who have experienced abuse become hypersexual, in fact - but he generally doesn't show any indication whatsoever that it's impacted his relationship with his body and/or sex. You'd expect, say, a scene where something that should be innocuous - a phrase or a position or way of movement - completely takes him out of it and he has to stop because he's panicking. Not just in this book, I mean, just in general. I know that Rhysand is supposed to be a Wish Fulfilment Boyfriend but the guy's been through hell.

Related to that, but on a positive note, it was sad to see Nesta so isolated and coping so badly, but how very Nesta of her. Of course she doesn't want help or love or anything like that. I am looking forward to seeing her development in the next book, at least.

However, we've already put a damper on her relationship with Cassian. I'll admit, I adored their dynamic in Wings and Ruin - her spikiness that didn't hide the fact that she'd grown so fond of him, and him teasing her about it, it was all so cute. But then Cassian trailing her home when she told him to fuck off? My guy, I get you're worried, but take no for an answer. Don't be a creep. And throwing her Solstice present in the river out of rage was a BIG ick. I hope that's a one-off and he doesn't get all possessive and weird in the next book but I'm not holding my breath because I think the possessiveness might be intended to be hot?

Part of why I think this is because of that sex scene, which was bizarre. They had sex but then they also had sex with their minds? Double sex? And then Feyre showed him a picture of their future son right before he nutted???????????? Surely that'd be off-putting, right? Like, oh, great, I was about to cum, but you showed me a picture of a kid and now I feel a bit uncomfortable, actually.

Sadly, very little Lucien in this book. I like Lucien :(

The art studio story arc was sweet, although it did feel like it fell into Feyre's lap a little too easily, I don't know. She's always a bit of a Mary Sue but it was hard to ignore in this book. She has more money than God and people are just like "oh my dear High Lady, please take everything I own for free". Still, I liked Ressina and I think the whole thing of free art therapy for the kids is nice.

The multiple POV didn't play to Maas' strengths at all. The characters all have distinctive voices in dialogue, but she clearly can't write from their perspective consistently, so instead we get first-person chapters for Feyre and Rhysand (who have almost identical internal monologues - the only difference is Rhysand thinks about sex a bit more and describes himself as "drawling" more often) and then third-person for everyone else. When the first Cassian chapter came up, I thought he was just referring to himself in the third person like a caveman and didn't even bat an eye, so that was funny, at least. But it's a shame, because there was the opportunity for us to get a more intimate look at the side characters and we just… didn't. Multiple POV isn't something that often works for me - it usually reminds me of bad fanfic I read growing up - but it can be done well and this would have been a nice book to have that mix of personality put into it.

Highlights of this book were the Illyrian warrior snowball fight and the discussion about how none of them can be trusted not to investigate wrapped presents like excitable children. That was very cute. I do hope that Silver Flames is an improvement.

#read 2023 #reviewed 2023 #books #reading #ya fiction #na fiction #fantasy #can't remember if I've said but I affectionately call this series “a court of shit and piss”#this one really lived up to that

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copperbora · 1 year

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Today I hiked for the first time in months again; I only did about 7 km but I did them very swiftly over the space of an hour on the Okanagan Rail Trail. Bizarrely to me, this was an active rail line back when I was a kid and I still feel slightly torn over them not turning it into a light passenger transit line - and what they did, making it a trail. I love walking on this trail now - with its flat grade and soft pea gravel it is gentle on the legs, if often very icy in winter - but I believe that its real value is in being a safe corridor for local wildlife to utilize at night when humans are not present. Since it stretches from the north Okanagan to the central Okanagan it's pretty long, meaning that its impact as a wildlife corridor isn't insignificant. Cougars, black bears, mule deer, coyotes, mallard ducks, Canada geese, amphibians, snakes, raccoons and songbirds all now have this lengthy, quiet band of protected space in the very populated Okanagan Valley to utilize. I like that; it helps me feel good about it, and I love imagining cougars lounging on the cliffs above, watching as mule deer come down to Kalamalka Lake for a midnight drink. With the daytime humans and their bikes and dogs at home the wildlife now have a safe serenity in the darkness.

It was weird how trepiditious I felt setting out, like a nervous horse playing with its bit and prancing. I'm an experienced thruhiker, yet after months of not hiking due to my mom's condition and being glued to her side I took a long time to settle back into my favourite sport. It was cool - -1 Celsius with a windchill of about -5C - but this late into the winter I'm acclimated to freezing temperatures. Still, I was a bit sweaty from work earlier in the day and feeling hesitant to embark, but I made myself go anyway. Eventually, after ten minutes or so I settled back into my usual stride - albeit slower than personal speed records - and I felt okay in my habitat by myself again. (Honestly, the worst thing about growing older is having parents who can no longer keep up with me on the trail. Last year in Jasper National Park it depressed me to the point of flopping in the middle of the trail mid-climb of a pass and staring miserably up at the sky for a good twenty minutes.)

I hiked until civilization fell out of sight, with Rattlesnake/Turtlehead Point adjacent and stopped to admire the pure lack of humanity. I pray that everyone gets to have moments like this of even just perceived wilderness, with not a single building in sight, with just you and the wild for company. After a moment or two (because I never pause long,) I turned back for the trailhead where I had left my car and then wandered a mall for an hour to kill some more time before going to my second doctor's appointment about my newly diagnosed ADHD. There I learned that my ferratin/iron is too low, so I won't be allowed to donate blood as planned this spring. In fact, there's talk of an intravenous iron infusion happening. (On the bright side this gives me a fine excuse to move forwards with my self-tattoo plans since I am not allowed to get tattooed while actively donating.) My thyroid is well though, and I got prescribed a stimulant for my ADHD, which the government will supposedly be helping with financially.

I came home to my mom having a Bad Day. Just in case you don't know, being a caretaker to a beloved family member with cancer is really f***ing awful - you're stressed to the nines almost constantly, terrified, uncomfortably familiar with the Emergancy Room at your local hospital (the staff know you,) plus horribly familiar with hearing your loved one whimper all night in agony. This has been my dad and I's absolute hell for years now and I can firmly tell you: cancer is not a battle, it is a WAR.

So now I lay down to sleep, in my day clothes, because I know there's a very real terrible chance that we'll have to take Mom to the ER again tonight. F*** cancer.

Here's my tattoo design which insisted on coming to life though - a cougar, a cat sacred to my family, especially my mom but also me. For years I kept dreaming of this big benevolent kitty coming to visit me, to the point where I became fond of her and named her Mud.

#cougarcat #puma concolor #puma #mountain lion #catamount #hiking #cancer #ADHD #ADHD LIFE #caretaking #mountains #Canada

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fluffallamaful · 1 year

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Locked-In AU:

Of course, from Dream’s perspective this is horrifying. Quackity and Sam storm out with the former promising to kill him once he returns, he hides in the toilet, and then — boom! His head fucking explodes or some hair and when his blinding headache finally subsided he can’t move.

When Sam picks him up he wants to struggle, beg, do something, but he can’t. He can’t even open his eyes to see what’s going on. Any moment now he’s gonna get hurt — get hit — but nothing happens and he just — keeps — waiting —

And then Sam licks him?

…What?

Then Quackity comes by and Sam and him talk, and they discuss Dream when he’s right there and how he can’t move and something wrong and they decide to — take him somewhere else? …Patch him up?? This has to be some sort of trick — some tenth layer of hell that they’re about to put him through — what did they do to him? Clearly this is their fault, nobody else has been here but Techno and if Techno wanted him hurt he’d just punch him — but what did they do, why can’t he move?

It’s not all bad, though. After he gets settled in a bizarrely comfortable bed, he’s…he isn’t hurt. He can feel them strip him of his clothes to bathe him and it’s uncomfortable, but Sam — he can recognize that touch — he’s always oddly gentle, and he’s always been thorough with everything and this is no different. He hates the tube, but he feels so much better with a full tummy. They’re taking care of his injuries. They’re talking to him softly. They’re being kind.

Why?

Soon others start to show up. Sapnap’s voice pipes up one day, he speaks in a faux cheery voice that he must know wouldn’t fool him, but Dream can’t call him out on it right now so he guesses it doesn’t matter. George lays down next to him — he remembers the smell of mint and the strawberry tinge to his favorite shampoo. He’s dreamt about it. He recognizes that the source is right next to him, watching him. Bad comes in and speaks gently, tenderly, and his touch almost reminds him of how he’d act as his father back before the server got so horrible.

And he’s cuddled an absurd amount. Bad gives him tummy rubs after every meal, defensively telling the others that it’s not like Dream can tell them when he has a bellyache. Ponk makes Quackity massage him sometimes under the guise of “medicinal assistance,” whatever that means. (He does feel better afterwards, as odd as it is to say.) Sam grooms him almost constantly, and its one of the most soothing things Dream has ever experienced. He’s read stories, told about the outside world, and despite being the must vulnerable he’s ever been he’s being treated with more kindness than he has in years.

But he doesn’t know why, and so he keeps expecting the other shoe to drop.

(When he finally learns that it is never going to drop, and that they finally want their family back as much as he does — he can’t even process it at first.)

fzggzhss nawwwww gosh soup this is all explained so well omggg 😭

(discussion belowww)

🦙🦙🦙…

poor dream :(( like the explanation of how he suddenly realises that he can’t move and his headache :(( like he just would have thought that sam and quackity must’ve poisoned him or something. or maybe it was some kinda of upgraded security thing that he hadn’t been aware of. he would have been TERRIFIED 😭

and then yes i am absolutely obsessed with this trope of dream assuming that the kindness must all just be a trick or preparation for something worse. like are they going to sacrifice him or something?? is he being prepared to be offered up for some god’s breakfast or something?? it’s similar to the Time Travel AU and i love it so much

and then again it’s that beautiful moment of him time and time again accidentally melting at the affection and kind gestures, despite predicting that they’re all with ill intention. he just can’t help it. it would be so weird as well for him to hear them talking about him while he’s right there. like he’d just overhear so many confusing conversations :((

i adore the touch of bad giving him belly rubs i’ll CRY 😭 and the cleaning and gentle touches and words that he would receive. recoginising george’s shampoo 😭😭😭 i love the idea of george playing with his hands while lying next to him. maybe he starts humming some tune as well that unknowingly just melts dream further.

i also realise that he’d also probably hear lots of relationships being fixed as well?? like he’d notice that quackity and sapnap are getting along, that bad doesn’t really seem like a cult leader and that george and sapnap are bickering like always :(( it’s fun imagining his thought process so much and it’s devastating imagining him trying and failing to fight the affection 😭😭

🦙🦙🦙…

#soup the destroyer #llama asks #Soups Locked-In AU #lee!dream

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umihoshi · 5 months

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Autumn 2023 REVISED

I felt the high need to adjust my list (this one LINK), since I obviously missed out on some gems, and also some of the ones I felt really praiseworthy about PLUMMETED to hell;;;

Undead Unluck It's a difficult choice for the first place, but I think that on the long run, this is the one I'll be remembering. the system is cool, it has the potential for multiple seasons and the main duo are a great combi! Andy is such a refreshing guy who shrugges through life as Fuko is regretting every step they take. I'm also interested in knowing more about the group members.

Migi and Dali I compared it to Sakamoto, but it's actually a whole lot better. Despite the over the top bizarrity, or maybe just because, the story is really thrilling and even though the characters are all kinda weird and creepy, you just end up rooting for them (even the annoying beaver kid)

Apothecary Diaries Autism rights. I'm not too keen on the whole Chinese court drama, but the raven courtess had mellowed my prejudice. These characters are a whole lot easier to keep apart (though I still struggle with names) And watching a little girl bully a beautiful and snobbish man is a trope that never gets old.

the 100 girls who really really really love you A harem series?? in my top 5??? yes, this is actually so amusing. all the girls are cute, they all fit the mc well, and I can actually believe that multiple guys would fall for a guy like this! everyone's so down with the entire polycluster, it's so refreshing. and the girls are ✨getting along✨!!! No jealousy, no bitchiness, we're all ride or die for one another. (spoiler: though adding the mother of one of the girls to the cluster is A BIT weird....)

Kamonohashi Ron's forbidden deductions Dropped quite some places, since it doesn't feel like the characters are really sticking. I see the main plot seeping through here and there, but it kinda feels monster of the week overall. Still a good watch, though. The main duo is fun and Ron is such an idiot, amazing.

My new boss is goofy Nothing wrong here, entertaining and a good watch in between. not really going anywhere, but it doesn't need to. The 'no one pays me attention =n=' gag is a bit annoying and repetitive, but the goofiness is doing well on its delivery.

Dog Signal Ceasar Millan, the anime. Very antisocial dog trainer who I feel in my bones, because how absolutely UNEDUCATED can these dog owners get??? please for the love of god, do some research before getting a dog! Especially if it's a breed! Collies get bored easily, lifting dogs creates napoleon syndrome, don't fucking wind your dog up with anxiety before leaving the house!! anyway *clears throat* good show. very relatable.

Crash course on Naughtiness Not a lot happening here, but the main ship is cute and I like how the girl is growing more confident over time. They could have made the boy a bit weirder with the reputation he has and the 'naughtiness' falls kinda flat sometimes. But I like how they redicule themselves with the 'this strange man is teaching me naughty things ^^' as people watch upon her with concern.

Yuzuki family’s 4 sons The focus lies quite a lot on the 3rd son, which is a shame (please give me 5 seasons about just the little one, he is so precious), but it's very cute for a slice of life. I like how they all are their own person and break stereotypes. And it's both sad and beautiful how they don't act their age, due to their situation. Not a lot going on, but amusing enough to keep watching.

Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch a bit clichee, but the comedy is quite on point and the characters are fun. love the little ending dance Might continue once I can binge them: Kamierabi (love the OP song) I'm in Love with the Villainess The Experienced You and The Inexperienced Me Nanatsu no Taizai: 4 knights of apocalypse Dropped: Ojou to Banken-kun (I'm sorry, it just made me rly uncomfortable..) Ragna Crimson Kingdom of Ruin Frieren Bullbuster Shy kawagoe boys sing Tearmoon Empire

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loudcon · 2 years

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Oh my god it's a confession post! Haven't done one of these in a while.

Anyway, so I have a friend, and normally hes delightful, a joy. But recently the guy hes been long term dating (who I'm also friends with btw) broke up with him. Now freind no.1 is distraught and I cant hell feeling like a bit of a dick for saying this, but the more he processes the break the more I cant help feeling friend 2 was in the right.

Listen red flag number one after a break up, especially if you claim to still love them is the trash talk. I'm sorry you love this person and yet your out here talking about him like hes an idiot or incapable of certain things, emotional or otherwise, I just wonder about that, because god only fucking knows if you said this stuff to his face or not and if you god fucking help you I'm going to punch your teeth in

Red flag number two was when my man started bashing on his exes freinds for like,, idk hanging out with their freind??????? Its really fucking weird to me, like please hunny the jealous ex thing isnt a good look. Hes not Yours he doesn't belong to you and he can hang out with whoever he wants for as long as he wants you dont have to be invited to Every Fucking Meet and they sure dont owe you anything Now get your head out of your ass

Red flag number 3, the one that's really pushing me over the edge is that, we were fine, we were good, now this mother fucker seems to thing I'm irreparably broken on some molecular level. It's so bizarre cause I never got this from him before but now its "your in a bad place" "I wont say this cause youd crumble like a piece of paper" etcetera

He seems to be projecting either his own feelings or the way he thought about his ex on me and it's the single most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced. I dont need this man to function I go several months a year without even speaking to him, he doesn't seem to grasp the fact that I have Other friends and am now an emotional wreck of a human being.

So the confession in the end is this, I love him dearly I do, I've done my best to balance between them as this situation unfolds, but I dont know if I can stick through the worst of him, I'm getting very close to telling him I'm done with it, and I know hes grieving or whatever but hes doing it in a way that is so unhealthy so unproductive and so destructive to me specifically btw he hasn't started doing this to anyone else just me

I'm just I'm so done, he cant fix me, I'm more emotionally stable then he is and it's just, alot

#loud & confessions #vent #venting #apologies this is a long one #i just need to get it off my chest #because what the fuck bro #why you gotta do me like this #after all these years #bruh

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deeeelightfuldee · 2 years

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Are you the quietest among your social circle? between me, nathan, and em... yes.

What are you currently wearing? black nike shorts and a tshirt

How many nicknames do you have? dee, ana, deenah, di, sweedee

How many messages have you received today? uhhh its easier to go by how many people have messaged me. 7.

Do you like to vent when you have a problem or keep it to yourself? i tend to keep it to myself.

What’s your favorite fashion trend? i love classy looks but i lack the budget.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? drinks

What’s a modern device you would find difficult to live without? air conditioning.

Have you ever dried and preserved flowers? many times.

What is something you can’t imagine ever doing? harming an animal intentionally. Would you count to 10,000 for $1,000 dollars? LOOOOOOOl hell yea i would

When did you last take a selfie? yesterday

What was the last favor you done? helping out my uncle

Are you currently watching something or listening to music? greys

Have you recently been sick? im chronically sick.

Last coffee order you got i dont drink coffee

Are you a naturally cheerful person? im known for being extremely cheerful.

Have you ever listened to a song on repeat for hours? Which songs? i do this frequently. I dont know off the top of my head which ones specifically, but when it hits, it hits.

How many surveys do you usually take in a weeks time? some weeks itll be like 20. some itll be like 2. it depends on the week.

Current mood? bummed. annoyed. trying to remain positive but it isnt always easy.

What’s some positive news you’ve heard recently? ummm some stuff on my bday.

Have you ever lost your taste and smell at the same time? yea.

Have you ever frolicked through a field? yes

Do you eat at McDonalds? sure

What’s a trait you dislike in some people? arrogance, selfishness, entitlement, demanding

What is something you find unnecessary? ummmm. some drama.

What is something you’d define as ethereal? winter time

What’s an issue you’re currently experiencing? ive been forgotten by K. hes doing this bizarre thing lately where he talks less and less. like ugh ok vent sesh. he used to message me the second he woke up. he would take me along his day like i was his partner and he wanted to share every detail. nowadays he doesnt tell me info unless i press for it. he texts me occasionally. and even when he does, the really twisted bit, is that he will say oh i have all these romantic feelings and desires and dreams. but tbh i felt loved years ago, not now. he forgot about my bday. idk. just all weird and uncomfortable and i think im just over it.

Are you or anyone in your family good singers? mildly.

Are you currently wearing something red? no

When did you last feel empty? kind of now.

What did you last consume that had sugar in it? idk

Are you ready for the upcoming season? VERY much so.

Have you ever had a bicycle accident? yes. when i was first learning, my siblings put me on an adult bike and pushed it and i ran into a tree and the bike fell on top of me, shattering my knee cap.

When did you last look up at the clouds? today

Do you have a garden? no

When did you last have a bellyache? like 2 days ago

What did you last change? the dishwasher or the laundry.

Do you find it annoying when people tell you to cheer up or just smile when you’re upset? i honestly dk if ive ever been told that. im naturally a quick fix in terms of mood.

How often do you go outside? every day.

Is it currently hot where you live? yes it is.

What did you do first thing when you got out of bed this morning? i put in a grocery order.

Have you ever spent a whole day in bed? of course. sometimes im extremely sick and that will do it. or if im exceptionally sad.

Are you more sensitive to heat or cold? i despise heat. i cannot control my body temperature and its constantly running overheated. the cold I love.

What is something you are good at? maintaining family.

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