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exhuastedpigeon · 16 days

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hiii, i just saw your tags on a post about catholicism and I know you watch 911, so i was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing your thoughts on how you'd like to see 911 handle the whole Eddie is a lapsed catholic and has catholic guilt and is now dating a former almost-nun. do you think eddie's going to have a moment of "oh, actually i want to do mass and confessions again because thanks to my lovely girlfriend marisol, ive found my faith again"?

ANON I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I'm going to put some of my own experiences under the cut at the end of this ask because I think the context is at least a little important.

I think someone like @monsterrae1 will also have a ton of insight into this as another recovering Catholic and as someone from a Latin Catholic background that's probably similar to Eddie's.

Now to my take:

When they brought in Marisol's backstory of being a novice nun I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair and then I got really excited because bringing religion into Eddie's story is, in my opinion, the most obvious path for Eddie's queer awakening and an arc where Eddie unpacks a lot of his catholic guilt and repression.

If Eddie goes back to Church, which I think he might based on Bobby's advice not because of Marisol, I don't think it's going to be a 'oh wow I missed this!' moment, I think it would be the start of a journey where Eddie realizes how impacted he is by Catholic guilt and how even if he hasn't gone to church in years, it's impacted so many aspects of his life.

Eddie saying he's a manchurian catholic and has a reservoir of catholic guilt he didn't realize was there was so funny to me because that man doesn't even realize how his catholic guilt has impacted his life. Every time he ignores his own feelings for other people. every time he tries to do what he thinks people want of him instead of what he wants. every time he shoved down his feelings to 'do what's right' that's catholic guilt, baby.

My personal feelings on it are that Eddie is going to realize that he's been repressing a lot about himself... like maybe his sexuality. He's been comphet coded for years. From the panic attack of Ana being called his wife to saying dating feels like a performance to what he said last episode about the church being a big reason he and Shannon got married. (This isn't to say he didn't love Shannon because he did, we know how much he did even after their relationship was dead in the water).

I think we'll probably get an Eddie/Marisol breakup in the next few episodes - likely triggered by Eddie realizing he's maybe not straight and maybe he needs to figure himself out. Or maybe because he still can't get it up around her because of the nun reveal. Or maybe for some other reason - like maybe Marisol is a little homophobic.

They're setting up a perfect 'queer repressed Eddie' arc. They've set it up since before the move to ABC, even if they didn't do it on purpose.

I don't think it's going to be an easy journey for Eddie though. He's probably go so much internalized homophobia inside of him. He's got so much to unlearn and so much he needs to learn to love about himself. That's one of the reasons I hope Tommy sticks around - he's someone Eddie could lean on and learn from because he came out later in like - he came from a similar background with the military - he's someone Eddie could trust with that.

Now, a little backstory on my own relationship with Catholicism before I dive in - I was raised very Catholic, church every Sunday, Catholic school (uniform and all) from kindergarten all the way to high school, I was confirmed, I was my sister's confirmation sponsor, I was an alter server, I was a lead in my high school's church choir.

But my Catholic background is also not the exact same as Eddie's. He specified he comes from Latin Catholics and that's an important distinction because different cultures have a different approach to Catholicism. I'm originally from the states and while I'm not Irish-American or Italian-American but, I was raised in a very Irish and Italian neighbourhood (lots of first and second gen immigrant folks) and have probably a more 'Irish-American/Italian-American Catholic' perspective.

I am not practicing anymore and have gone to so much therapy for what my therapist calls 'religious trauma' because Catholicism, my teachers, and some of my priests, made me hate myself for existing even before I knew why I hated myself. Catholicism and the way they speak about queer people and the way they speak about sex is extremely regressive and when you learn about it from a very young age, you internalize that.

I also experience guilt when I do basically anything for myself that isn't beneficial to other people. You're made to feel selfish for having needs. I just... don't like organized religion because of my experience with the church.

I spent like 21 years hating myself and feeling tremendous guilt about my feelings towards women and every time I would kiss a girl I would play if off as 'oh haha it's just for laughs' because Catholic. One of my best friends in university once said to me, "I'm gay, but I'm catholic so I'm straight". He's now married to a woman and has a kid and every time I see him he looks worse and sadder. He struggles with addiction, likely because he's trying to numb himself. I think any religion that makes someone feel that way is toxic.

#asked and answered #eddie diaz #catholic guilt

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yutaleks · 3 months

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you dont have to answer this but can you give us a sign that youre not anti black because i just want to know, so i can continue following you /gen

I'm only going to speak about this once since the wording of this ask is not rude and I'm choosing to believe this isn't in bad faith. I won't be answering any other asks about this and I won't hesitate to turn anon off again.

I have never sent a single person on this website a mean ask in my entire 14 years on this site. ever. I don't even send anonymous asks in general.

I didn't know who that blog is until they tagged their previous blog, which yes we were mutuals in the past. tbh I didn't even know they moved to this new blog I just assumed they quit Tumblr like many people have over the years. ive never followed that blog they were never on my radar. They are a tokrev blog I don't even watch or read tokrev. so like I said I had no idea who they even were. no clue where they got this idea that I have sent any asks to them. afaik they didn't exist until this post they made about me. they could have come to my inbox or my ask box or any other form of communication to confirm privately before making an inflammatory post but that's cool. if an entire group of people wanna believe something with no proof that's their prerogative.

I am literally a black latino. my great grandmother, who died a few years ago and who I was close to, was a slave in Haiti and escaped to DR. Haiti, TO THIS DAY, is the country in the world with the second highest population of slaves. My family literally escaped slavery within the last century. How could I be anti-black when I myself am a black person with recent ties to slavery. the accusation is ridiculous.

IRL ive experienced anti-blackness myself. believe it or not, to most Americans my appearance gives them the impression that I am an African American woman. it's only until I speak Spanish that people realize that I am latino. so I've also been victim in real life to people hurling the n-word at me, white people hurling microagressions at me, etc, on the basis that I am racially a black woman. I will not delve into the history in this post, you can learn the history of the slave trade on your own, but only 6 percent of African slaves in the slave trade ended up on North America, the rest went to Brazil and South America. if you think black people with similar history of being enslaved don't exist outside of the United States, you're just wrong.

I understand that being a person with African American ancestry in America is different than being black in another culture (before you roll your eyes at me) but to racist white people in America they don't see a difference and treat me the same way. I have zero desire to nor have I ever done to others what has been done to me. And I am sorry to the people who have been receiving such nasty words in their inbox on Tumblr. Obviously no one deserves to be treated that way. But none of those were me, I would never do that. No idea what gave them that idea. And if you've been following me for a while you would know I've made posts about this before, about the complicated feelings of being a black girl in the latino community. Why would I do anything like that to someone else as a racially black person myself.

There is a level of frustration that I feel in having disclosed my history with sexual assault and having that being spun into some belief that by disclosing that, I am downplaying racism ergo I am anti-black. But I think no matter what I say on that point I will be in the wrong and accused of being a racist somehow so what else is there to say. If you believe that discussing the weight of accusing someone as a pedophile in any way downplays accusing them of being a racist, despite these two being different topics and different experiences, then there's no arguing about it. That's what you believe. And that's fine, then to you I will always be wrong.

as an aside, whatever screenshots they posted of an nsfw comic I purchased, I'm not gonna deny I did. I've talked about buying doujinshi on my blog many times in the past it's not something I ever hid. An nsfw comic has zero to do with accusations of anti-blackness. if you disagree with me buying comics, feel free to unfollow that's fine. You wanna call me a pedo over a drawing that's fine. I've already said my piece weeks ago on using that kind of language over drawings I'm not going to bother repeating that.

At the end of the day you can believe whatever you want. I know who I am as a person. I've been nothing but nice to people on this website. Like I said, ive never sent a single rude anon in my life. If you wanna believe that I'm a bad person despite there being no proof of the sort, that's up to you. people will believe whatever they see on the internet any ways.

#ϟ asking aleksandria

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shiny-jr · 1 year

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Legit had to take a long sigh before I decided how to reply to this ask I got that follows the topic of the last asks. I decided to copy paste here because it’s a long one, and I wanted to put the warnings first. So, WARNING, talk of non-con, dub-con, etc. Minors, please stay away from this particular conversation. We’ll be back to our regular stuff shortly, hopefully.

anon in the inbox: i don't think non-con or dub-con is an issue, like pretty sure that's a part of BDSM roleplay (correct me if im wrong but that's what ive seen explained before) so it's not that concerning to me; people just have some kinks. i personally don't like it either (because i find it very uncomfortable and just not to my taste) but to flat out say that writers who do write this kind of stuff need therapy or are concerning is just kind of rude? i don't mean to offend but people are allowed to enjoy certain things, it's all based on preference after all. but like that one other anon said and you commented on tagging work, that is pretty annoying. there should always be a warning about that type of stuff cause it can be triggering. there is (to me at least) a very clear line between fantasy and reality and I'm sure a lot of writers can distinguish the fact that yandere content is just not okay for irl even if they write stuff that may "romanticise" it (you shouldn't be reading that type of content anyway if you're not feeling okay so it's kinda on the reader too if the work is properly tagged) like i enjoy reading soft yandere stuff with a darling who accepts the red flags but i know that in real life this would be very disturbing and just flat out manipulation and i'd never want to find myself in this position. i think you might have over exaggerated this aspect a bit but i do respect your opinion and you are entitled to it but im just leaving my thoughts for others.

Me, personally, I think non-con and dub-con is an issue. Because that stuff derives from no consent or not clear consent and it’s not just in bdsm role-play, it’s also in fanfics. And I do think it’s concerning that people do genuinely enjoy reading/writing those topics. Can I stop them? No. Is what I say gonna stop them? Most likely no. All I can do is keep that stuff off my page and avoid it.

As for the whole fantasy and reality stuff with the yandere thing, I know it’s fantasy, I know most people know it’s fantasy too, but there are still very young impressionable children that get their hands on electronics and end up on sites they should not be on at their age. I mentioned something similar before. I know minors follow me, I know they read my stuff, I know they’re on this site, minors that should be focusing on other stuff instead of reading questionable things on the internet. This is the reason why I’m so adamantly against the romanticization of yanderes and why I refuse to write it. Because there are readers young enough that can’t quite yet distinguish the line between fantasy and reality. They see this stuff about yanderes and may come to think, “oh, I want a yandere! this violent and (sometimes maybe) abusive stuff is okay! Their manipulation and unhealthy obsession is okay too if they say they love me!”

Finally, you said you enjoy reading about soft yanderes with an mc that accepts the red flags. If that’s the case, I’m not sure why you’re here if you read my stuff. Yes, I write “soft” yanderes, but I don’t write anything accepting a Yandere’s red flags. As spoken about here. If you disagree with the things I said, oh well, I said earlier that I wasn’t likely to change your mind. Just don’t ever ask me to write anything like non-con or romanticizing yanderes. This is the last post I’m gonna talk about this topic, because really, I just wanted to spend my evening writing and relaxing. Yet here we are. I probably missed some stuff, but this talk made me tired. If another message about this comes up in the inbox, it’s getting deleted.

#shiny rants #probably important

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rosy-fox-art · 1 year

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i def agree with what you said about how the fandom handles heart's blindness so thank you for calling it out before it got worse. i feel that it would make more sense if he put the blindfold on himself, like how other ppl in the tags on your post said.

another thing that ive noticed is how heart is sometimes infantilized and seen as someone who can "do no harm" which is... strange to say the least. i think ppl forget that he is a personification of a grown man's emotions and depression (sorry for wording it like that lol i didn't know how else to say it)

Hi! Thank you . I was honestly really worried to post about it, so I’m glad to see people so receptive to it so far in a positive light. I’ve been reading the tags very diligently ^^~

As for victimizing heart or ‘ saying he can do no wrong’ and infantilization… yeah I can see this as another issue that’s starting to sprout up, and some people in the tags of that previous post have mentioned it as well. And while I know that’s not everybody and I figure that is also another case where people don’t really intend to do it and just aren’t thinking about it, that doesn’t really erase the problem. This applies mostly to people depicting heart as childish, not being able to handle himself, being idiotic, victimizing and woobifying him etc. So, I really hope you don’t mind me using this as a chance to talk about that a bit, too.

Being over emotional does not, at all, translate to any of the traits I just listed out in the slightest. Sure, heart may be a little naive and impulsive as per his nature, but that is not the same. You are absolutely right to point out that heart an adult here, too. And at the end of the day the album seems to make it very clear that Heart and Mind are not all that unlike each other, but are unwilling to admit their similarities and highlight and judge their differences heavily. Heart is just as harmful and violent as mind, just in a different way. He has the propensity to be just as cunning or manipulative as Mind, too. Even his tactic of victimizing himself is a show of this, and Mind points this out several times in the album. They are two sides of the same coin. There is a large difference between Heart victimizing himself and actually being the victim, which he is not. Or at least, he is not completely blameless for the hole that he has dug for himself. When people show heart as being the victim or as doing no wrong, a lot of the nuance is completely lost.

Secondly, the internet and fan spaces have a bad habit of infantilizing people with mental illness, in general. Depression does not make someone soft and cute because they’re sad all the time. Depression does not make someone an uwu bean. Depression makes someone — as we can very clearly see by how Heart is within the cannon itself— a wreckage of rage and disdain that struggles to crawl out of a spiral of misery and apathy. It’s not pretty. When you boil it down to all of the things I’ve mentioned as being a problem here— that’s infantilization. This is also a big problem when it comes to disabled characters (Because people jump to the conclusion that the character cannot do much for themselves because of the disability, do not understand how disabled people actually advocate for themselves and function day to day from lack of experience or exposure to disabled people, want to depict them as incapable, etc). So, the fact that Heart is both of these things creates a ripe mess. This is kind of why I’m hoping to make some less angry, more informational post about some of the things blind people use to function just like other people here, sometime. Because the lack of these things in itself may lend into the infantilization problem. Being able to do things— having agency and independence over oneself— is a large part of breaking away from that. And I think it says a Lot that you rarely see this happen with Mind or Soul, as well.

So sorry if this came off at all angry, but I’m very passionate about it as someone whose experienced infantilization in my life from other people assuming things about me solely based on my disability. So, if I can say something to stop people from perpetuating it in fan content then I will. 👉🏻👈🏻. At any rate, thank you for the ask! I’m sure there’s a typo or two in here. So so sorry for that!

#chonny’s charming chaos compendium #cj #cj heart #the heart acoustic #heart chonny jash #so so sorry for the rant #it’s kind of a sore spot but I feel ie needs voicing #so this way people can avoid doing it #yes I know heart is indeed emotional and naive #but you don’t have to veer into territory that may be infantilization about it

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mtk2 · 10 months

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Because I don't post anything interesting here, I made another drawing of another one. Here is The Dark Lord for ya.

I tried to make the uh... blade hand thingys different from the last time I did it. I don't like it though.

Now that I think about it, a lot of my drawings seem more like redraws when I wasn't even thinking of that. The poses and stuff look similar to how I drew the other stickfigures as well (though those were posted as a sort of ava/m crossover thing with a game. Long story. Look at my past drawings. Like.... far back. They were first drawn here for a sort of crossover fanart thing. idk what to call it.)

I am.... not original when it comes to drawing. And then drawing again because like I said, the poses look similar to how I drew them the first time.

Ehh....

Sorry. Can't lie. I still suck at this. XD

(excuse my bad ramble here of sorts)

When I finish drawing all the stickfigures (not counting those new ones in the new Animator vs Animation episode, if ya know what I mean), those will be the last time I post something interesting and with tags. I'll still probably draw, but it won't be tagged. (Though anything that's with the original stickfigures I may or may not draw in the future will be the only things tagged. Anything else won't)

It'll just be more ocs and me wanting to work on some kind of blog with those. Well. No one wants to see a stickfigure oc blog thingy XD. But I would like to try it. Ive seen blogs. Though Iguess those are justwith the original stickfigures and their own AUs. Or whatever its called (i wouldn't be smart enough to make my own au and use the original stickfigures. So yeah)

Ah. I'm rambling.

Before this gets more uninteresting (unless you were before seeing this), um... Idk. enjoy this. I guess. Cuz I don't. (No matter how many times someone says I shouldn't be hard on my art and to be nice to it, it eh... Idk if that'll happen).

Art block just sucks. I wish I was more original. Like... I can at least try to do some kind of art style besides just stick figures..... Idk. (I know I say 'idk' alot. Sorry)

Here. Tags. Uh.... wooo. Even though Idk which other tags to put. So I'm stuck putting two. fricking. tags.

#animator vs animation #ava the dark lord

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moonlightdancer26 · 2 years

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Heya, I'm this anon -> https://moonlightdancer26.tumblr.com/post/697464103339524096/im-a-trans-man-myself-ive-heard-some-of-the

Don't let any lost followers get to you. That follower you mentioned may have completely different reasons for unfollowing than you might think.

For many of us, fandom is an escape from a shitty reality, and it's understandable if a trans person doesn't want to see reminders of transphobia, including posts that defend trans people.

I unfollow fandom blogs who start posting about certain social issues not because I disagree, but because it's simply too taxing to constantly be reminded of all the bad in the world.

They also simply could have misclicked unfollow by accident!

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

Hi again!

Losing followers isn’t that big a surprise to me, this isn’t the first time something similar’s happened. But I got upset because it was that one specific person—who’s not only trans but also whose blog I really enjoy.

I agree with what you’ve said: People definitely don’t like seeing constant reminders of things they’re hated/oppressed for, I certainly don’t. But I think I should’ve clarified more in the tags; they defended her. They were understanding about it and of course I don’t have any problem with that, but the issue I have is… they’re able to empathise with her and forgive her, but the fact that they also unfollowed me after this implies I’ve done something wrong. So the issue I have is, if you can empathise with what she did, then why can you not understand why I reacted the way I did? I know I sound like a fucking child right now but this has been bothering me too much (there’ve been other instances like this) to stay quiet. This has happened many times before, when anything’s happened with another tumblr blog and I genuinely am in need of support, 99% of them turn their backs on me. 🤷‍♀️

How do people want me to go about the situation? “You know what, Ladykardasi? You’re right, I’m SO sorry for trying to defend trans people! I totally shouldn’t have informed you that it was offensive to imply trans men aren’t “genuine” men! 🥰 and I should TOTALLY forgive you for calling me a bitch and trying to silence me after you supposedly did nothing wrong! ☺️” Is this what people want me to say? I’m not trans nor am I a male, and even I found that hurtful. If people can forgive her, then why not me? I’m not forcing anyone to continue following me—nor am I refusing to unfollow someone after they asked, unlike a certain someone :)—or even like me, but please just understand where I’m coming from.

That being said, I’m not even angry at the person who unfollowed me, nor do I resent them; I’m just upset and very confused.

I honestly don’t want to know why they unfollowed me—because of my attempted defence of trans folks, or because of my blog as a whole. I don’t think either answer will make me feel any better.

+ Misclicking the unfollow button at this time seems a bit too much of a coincidence, but I really hope you’re right. 😭<3

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

thank you so much, anon 🥺❤️ I saw your ask yesterday right after I arrived home and I was already on the verge of tears (because of something that happened), so when I saw this I actually shedded a few tears 😭 (but today was great! I’m much happier now <33)

#ask #asks

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bitethehandthatneedsme · 2 years

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going on another rant about the lack of wlw content in this fandom, so pls scroll if u don’t wanna read!!!

- i’ve said this before and i will say it again, julynn and ruke are VERY similar. they have similar tropes like best friends to lovers, unrequited love/crush, yk that type of trope, and yet ruke gets sm more attention than julynn does. ruke and julynn get almost the same amount of screentime as julynn, julynn probs gets more screentime than ruke, so why isn’t julynn as popular as ruke?

- u could say that jarrie and lalex are similar in ways bc people in the fandom think luke and alex had something in thr 90s and some think julie and carrie had something b4 their falling out, yet there are 424 works in lalex on ao3 and only 44 works in jarrie. only 44!! and more than half of them have jarrie as bg ship w/ an mlm ship or wlm ship as the main ship.

- now for flarrie!!! flarrie is a popular wlw ship in the fandom, yet it’s the least popular out of the most popular ships (juke, willex, ruke, flarrie). juke has 2704 works on ao3, willex has 2707 works, and as i said in my last post, ruke has 914 works. flarrie has 461 works!!! that is nothing compared to the other three.

- this isn’t just this fandom, in so many other fandoms ive been in, like the marauders fandom (im no longer in the fandom bc jk r*wling is fucking disgusting and i didn’t wanna associate myself w/ her in any way) but dorlene (dorcas/marlene) is a popular ship in that fandom and it still barely has any fics on ao3????? (as far as i know, i havent checked that tag in a while)

that’s the end of my rant!! have a nice day!!<333

p.s. i absolutely LOVE (most of) this fandom!!! the friends i’ve made by being in this fandom are some of my fav people!!! i just wanted to rant about this again bc it’s something i see in way too many fandoms.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #carrie wilson #flynn taylor #wlw #wlw ship #rant post #does this make any sense #sorry for rant

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cosmica-galaxy · 1 year

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hey there, cosmica, how you doin? hope you’re fine. i just wanna drop by and say smt. anyways, this is dally speaking here, pardon for the anon, im a bit uncomfortable bringing up this topic.

i know you mean well, and i know you like my purgatory mode series, and even drew fanart of it, which i appreciate.

but im truly sorry having to go here and telling you that- but i really would like if you could uh- you know, stop associating your god purgy with my series. if that even makes sense. (sorry, english isnt my first language)

again, im really sorry having to burst bubbles. i do appreciate your design on the player, i really do.

but….i think it would be better if you would make her your own player, rather than associating her with my stories, even if you’re inspired by it.

i know you’re changing her backstories and all, but would it be okay if you could also change her name too? perhaps its too much, but i think purgy would pass off as another kind of player rather than just being stuck in purgatory mode series because you got inspired by it. (im sorry if i sound like im bargaining)

i have my personal reasons on why im doing this, and i dont normally do this tbh. its not that because i have a dislike on the god readers troupe, i actually quite enjoy them. ive written some stuff there that are based on my life, and also doing the series as a coping mechanism, as well as other stuff contributing to it.

i know god players are kinda popular here, but i truly dont want my series to be apart of this until im comfortable enough to allow it, or until i write far enough in the pm au to give the ok. even if its your version of purgatory player.

like i said, i appreciate and love your design on purgatory player, but i feel like this is just going too far in the god players au.

i think your purgy can be better off being her own player rather than just a player in purgatory mode au.

as much as i want to allow you to keep her name, im afraid i have to ask you to stop. purgatory mode is more than just another au of saltys self aware au to me, since i kinda add snippets of my struggles here and there- like telling two sides of a story if you squint your eyes really hard.

i really dont want this to be another incident i had to suffer last year. so thats why im here, before things get worse.

if you’re struggling about naming her, i’d be happy to help. just drop by in my inbox anytime even doe it’ll take a long time for me to reply ^^ (dont dm me doe, i get socially awkward in the dms and also uncomfortable)

again, im sorry to come here and ruin your party. i didnt mean it to happen.

-dallyfae

I understand and it's perfectly okay to explain your reasoning and set boundaries.

I've been actually trying to abide by your wishes, as I've been searching through the tags to edit the God!Player stuff and remove your tags from them and even made a post addressing how you felt about it and how I was trying to remedy it, since you desire to not be associated with the God!Players AU. I've even been trying to rename Purgy. I still like the name, but I think it would be fitting to change it. But people already associate the name with my design, so there's going to be some difficulties altering it. I've also been trying to change her backstory to instead become the god of grunt reincarnation rather than purgatory, just to further separate the AU and end most similarities. It's just a habit that I keep calling her Purgy, and she is also now considered an original character to me. As well as making them different and set purely into the God!Player AU, Purgy won't have connections to Purgatory AU anymore. I'll be trying my best to cut the ties and change up the character. So no hard feelings. : )

#hax speaks #anon asks #anon ask #anonymous #haxorus imp #cosmica galaxy

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ayzrules · 9 months

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Your tags on https://www.tumblr.com/ayzrules/725611442866454528/ive-heard-a-lot-of-people-say-dont-reach-out-to

#i still do get bitter over how much time and energy i was willing to put into group 1 that group 1 wasn't returning to me#like this stuff takes so much time to get over

God, yes. I feel like I've been trying to "get over" a friendship that became like that for longer than the friendship has actually been good and healthy for.

Good on you for changing your priorities and sticking with it. I try to do something similar, every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

I hope all the people with excuses in the tags see posts like yours and see what the takeaway is - that the result was NOT the friendship staying as it was with no effort from them. If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else. Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

gosh, so much this! Like, I didn't get to this point without talking to said friends - I got there after we had multiple conversations about it and it finally became clear enough to me that nothing was going to change. I think part of it was that I'm the kind of person who puts 100% into things I decide to invest time into, to an extent where it can get detrimental to my own health (i.e. staying up all night working on something instead of getting reasonable sleep) and this kind of bleeds into my interpersonal relationships. That group was my "top priority" in terms of channeling energy and enthusiasm for a long time, and the realization that the others in the group just didn't return the sentiment for whatever reason (and I mean that in the most neutral, least accusatory way possible - i understand that all of us are dealing with school, mental health, jobs, etc) was both difficult and freeing for me. I actually did exactly what the original post said you shouldn't (oops, haha) and literally wouldn't message first in the chat for weeks or months at a time - and every time I did that, the chat was just dead. Zero activity. I think that helped put some things into perspective for me too, especially when another chat I was in didn't suffer from this kind of issue.

every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

100%! It's definitely been a much healthier way of coping with it for me. I haven't cut anyone from group 1 off or blocked/gone no contact or whatever, but I also don't go out of my way to randomly pop in and say hi anymore. Wrt my newer groups/chats I've always thought of it as like, filling the space that group 1 used to hold in a way? if i think of a fun activity that i might have liked to propose to group 1 in the past, i suggest it to my new group instead. i'm more than happy to do work and organize activities or fun lil events like music streams with new group because i get more than just "Ooo" as a response to suggestions. lmao.

If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else.

100% that last part. i haven't looked at any of the tags in the original post, but i hope those people can understand that it's supremely unhealthy to be waiting desperately for someone to respond and getting upset when they just don't while seeing them respond elsewhere, or wracking your brain for ways to engage people - who are supposed to be your friends! - in ways where they won't just ghost in the middle of the conversation, or feeling bitter when you're trying to put something together for them but the intended recipients don't seem invested or particularly receptive at all (me a few hours before seeing the original post, lol). even though i haven't left the chat or blocked anyone etc, i've definitely moved on, mostly because it was really doing a number on my mental health and I just... didn't want to feel so sad and lonely all the time, yknow? I also wasn't going to blame them for it, because it's not their fault that our expectations of friendship were misaligned. it just happened. sometimes that's what life is. if any of them reach out to me, I respond and engage, and I do still occasionally seek them out. they're just not "top priority" for my energy or time anymore.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

thank you <3333 and thank you for sending this ask! I'm glad it's not just me who feels this way. I really did feel like I was going insane, lol

Wishing you all the best <3

#sorry this is so long asdl;fasdfasdf i'm hesitant to use a read more bc my blog theme is illegible #and i haven't figured out how to fix it #anyway. just rambling :D

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scuopsie · 2 years

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i usually keep my freak outs in the tags! rarely do i comment on the post directly in a reblog. i understand both sides though. for me, as a fic writer, i love feedback and reading someone’s thoughts. it doesn’t matter where they’re shared. this is the first time i’m hearing about accounts being blocked for this though. wow :o but valid. freedom to block whoever you want. i’m also not sure why i said reblogs specifically because sometimes i’ll make my own posts and end up talking to myself lol.

also, there’s definitely been a change with reblogging. it’s so evident and sad tbh. i’ve been on tumblr since 2014/15 and started writing fics in late 2016. however, i wrote for two other fandoms before discovering kpop, so i totally saw everything you said about interactions, discourse, huge accounts, relationships between mutuals etc, but in other spaces. it’s also interesting to read what you wrote about people heading to twitter. i’ve see the exact kind of posts you mentioned there, but i didn’t consider they might’ve left tumblr. the shift is also obvious when you see someone in your notifs who doesn’t have any reblogs. do you block those accounts? i never have, and idk if i should.

(that is another can of worms indeed. i used to be active on the shawn mendes side of tumblr (yikes lol🥴) and i remember feeling so intimidated by certain blogs. i feel that way a little bit now, but it’s no comparison to how it used to be)

cheers to all those anons. y’all amused the hell out of me. i still see some with similar energy these days… oh nostalgia

please... don't even get me started on fics... i never posted my fics on tumblr (onyl links to them) but even on Ao3 it's pretty much dead... if i didn't love writing so much I would never waste a second of my life writing with the number of feedback ppl nowadays give to ff authors. which is very little. yeah... some blogs were really weird about it. believe it or not one time a blog vague posted about me because I had tagged someone under their post (it was fantaken pics) and then they went on and on about how tagging ppl under their post messed with their notes. they were so rude... I ended up blocking them. like nope. i do not want that energy on my dash idc how many followers u have. but yeah personally I don't think that's something anyone really has the right to be mad about. this is a free website and people are free to do whatever they want (so long as it doesn't include any female body parts ofc *clown emoji*) and even if it mildly annoys me I never get that heated up over it and I definitely don't block bc of it slflsd

yeah I remember how intimidating big accounts used to be... and it feels like a lifetime ago when u think about it... maybe some people just... idk, grew out of the phase? I don't want to believe that ppl who used tumblr for years would move to twitter. it makes no sense. there are definitely people who just found other interests and left and thats normal. what's not normal is those people not being replaced... this stuff usually happens in a cycle. some people leave and some more join but I don't see anyone new around here. seriously, do u know a stan account who is new? literally everyone I know here has been here since I joined this fandom if not earlier.

edit: I forgot to answer to this one!!! abt empty blogs, I don’t usually check the blogs in my notes unless they look really sketcy (/are obv a p08n bot) but ive definitely seen blogs that are completely empty and even have the default icon and stuff. i usually leave them along and give them the benefit of the doubt. maybe they’re fans who don’t want to be active and post stuff and just want to consume and keep up with their faves.

#there's no way to know how many of ur followers are still active sadly #but i can confidently tell u that I got at least twice as much interaction last year when i had about half the amount of followers as now #if u go to my archive last year and filter 'ask' tag there will be A LOT of asks in each months archive #now? maybe 2-3 a month #and it's not like our ult aren't active #when i was a vixx stan blog vixx were active for about 2-3 months in totall in the 2 years i stanned them #and we still had a TON of interactions with our moots and the big accs #starlights would make content from old videos even when there wasn't any new content and we always had so much to make discourse about #monsta x too has so much content that if they stopped releasing content right now we'd still have years worth of content to talk about #they have SO MANY VARIETIES ITS INSANE #as i mentioned the other day i blame this on streaming culture too #people literally don't know how to have fun #they think everything they do has to in some way benefit the artist and that is so messed up #ask #anon

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lumine-blight · 2 years

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albedo—first kisses.

series: genshin males as kisses to write about

others included: kaeya, albedo, zhongli, childe, kazuha, thoma, ayato, scaramouche (all will be linked on my pinned once posted)

genre: fluff

tags/warnings: mutual pining, mutual feelings, yall see life in rose colored glasses, ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE WRITTEN THIS AND NOT IN THE MOOD TO REREAD FOR TAGS SORRY, kinda similar to my other ff cold but not rlly, also this did not go like the "first kiss" i intended to write like but it be like that

desc/blurb: feelings bloomed amidst the silence on the snowy mountains until you and albedo have confessed your feelings to each other. not for too long, he initiates the first move.

...

it was only yesterday since you have admitted your feelings for each other. surprisingly, it went smoother than you realistically expected it to. of course, prior that you've had your fantasies which were novel but also toned it down with realistic expectations. but oh, archons, may you thank them for blessing you with a man like albedo. well, technically he isn't /your/ man just yet, but he was /the/ man.

you were alone in the camp in dragonspine, having arrived earlier than you meant to. you liked the solitude of the place, but it also only gave you much more space for your thoughts of albedo. especially since you've already made your feelings clear for him, and he responded positively. he said he, too, wanted to try it. but what was that supposed to really mean? so are you together now? but it wasn't like you guys made it official. or was that even a requirement to begin with? perhaps albedo was right; relationships /are/ troublesome.

though at the same time, you were willing to build a connection with him, which you believed wouldn't be that difficult as with your current "status" with him. if ever things don't go as well, as it is an inevitable of relationships, you'd also be willing to re-establish it. you hoped he felt the same.

albedo soon arrived at the camp, and you felt giddy all over. much more than the usual. you thought of how to ask him all the questions in your head, but couldn't find the right phrasing. albedo could already figure out that there was something bothering you. "i...have a present for you," he said, and held out a hand with fresh flowers on it.

"cecilias..." you took the flowers from his hand with a smile and wondered if this was his way of courting you. or if he was even courting you. you were really unsure and you didn't want to ruin the moment, but you just really had to ask.

"is there anything bothering you? you look like there's something in your mind. is it the flowers? d-did i perhaps...overdo it?" said albedo. "i am not really experienced in this...area."

"no! no, it's not the flowers...i mean—yes, i do love them and thank you. they're pretty and i'll take care of them but...yesterday, when you said you wanted to "try it out" what exactly did you mean by that...?" you asked hesitantly.

albedo stepped closer to you, and you swore to the gods you feel like a teenager in-love, getting all nervous and giddy around their crush. you pursed your lips together and soon you felt another pair on yours. you stood there, frozen. perhaps, the sheer cold? but you could feel your insides burning up, and a warm feeling blooming on your chest. and your heartbeat was fast—or was that albedo's?

your brain just short-circuited, only calming down when you felt albedo's hands on your arms, caressing your shoulders. up to that point, he started to move his lips. you followed, rather hesitantly as you were unsure how to actually kiss. you wondered whether albedo had kissed someone else before. but your mind didn't linger at the thought for long when you finally gave in to the feeling and let go of your thoughts. the answer to your question also seemed clear now. this was what he wanted to try out.

soon, a hand was on the back of your neck as yours travelled to his arms; one which was finding its way to your waist. you shivered at the contact, which albedo took as a good sign, smiling against your lips. you pulled him closer, and just took every chance you could to peck his lips—slow and sweet little pecks. those were all you were confident enough to do, and so you were thankful when albedo took the initiative once more to deepen the kiss.

"have you ever done this before?" you asked in between.

"no. there's a reason i wanted to try it out. specifically with you. as my first." he sealed his response with one more peck on your lips, then pressing your foreheads together.

you only smiled. you brought your hands up to his face, admiring him not from afar anymore. this time you could touch and see his features closely.

#albedo #albedo genshin impact #genshin impact #albedo fanfic #albedo imagine #albedo drabble #albedo fluff #genshin impact imagine #albedo imagines #albedo drabbles #genshin headcannons #albedo headcannons #albedo x reader #albedo genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader

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fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy · 3 years

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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post!#jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years

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Hi, ik you said you request are closed, but you said that comfort request are always welcome. Ive be stressing out lately due to Scholl work and everything, I litterly on the verge of have a panic attack and was wondering if I could request, if you haven't already, write something for atsushi ❤️, dazai,chuyya, and akutagawa comforting ready with that? Plz feel free to ignore, I don't want ya to feel the same way I do😂 love ya!

Sorry about the wait on this piece. I’m only now getting school work up-to-date (After missing 5 days T_T) and getting free time to do things. I hope that isn't too late! Hope HC’s are alright!

Comfort for panic attacks |Atsushi, Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa x reader | HC

Atsushi-

He’s familiar with what’s happening

His own memories sometimes lead him into a similar state, so he knows what to do.

He’ll try and bring you as close to him as possible.

He’ll likely snuggle your neck and let his breaths send shivers down your spine.

He’s a huge fan of counting your breaths with your eyes closed.

He gets you to join him in the mediation in hopes it works to calm you down.

If it doesn't, he’ll go in for distracting your senses from thinking.

Either kissing you lightly on the neck

Blowing air at your ear

Or tickling you.

When you're out of the panicked state, he’ll try to get you to open up.

If you do, he’ll make sure you know he’s very clearly paying attention.

After he runs off to make you a nice cup of tea/coffee

While you're drinking, he gets a warm bubble bath ready for you.

The rest of the day, and some days after, is all him taking care of you to relieve that stress and make sure you aren't overwhelmed.

If you ask about work, he shakes his head and tells you he has everything under control and there won’t be a pile of missed work on your hands.

Dazai-

He knows exactly what to do

He knows what to do because he’s been in your shoes before, stressed, panicking, he knows the feeling even though he hides it well.

He’ll likely grab your hand in his and run his thumb over the back softly.

He gets all serious, which may be a bit surprising

He whispers little things to hopefully help. “It’s alright” “I love you” “can you try and breathe slowly, mhm like that, in and out.”

He’s really careful not to say anything that could imply he’s downplaying your feelings.

When you’re calm, he’ll likely kiss your cheek softly and smile for you.

Then he asks questions. “Is there something overwhelming?” he asks, but doesn't expect an actual answer.

He’ll try to accommodate whatever it is you want.

If that’s ranting about the stress you're under, then he’ll let you.

He’ll try to lift some of that stress for you, help you in any way he can.

Chuuya-

He freaks out internally for a few moments

When he collects himself, he sits next to you and does this weird half cuddle half-hug thing.

He has his arms around you, but his head on your shoulder, so he’s cuddling while also hugging you.

It’s a weird position, but it’s calming for the both of you.

He attempts to get you to do breathing exercises, or just starts talking about things you like, and interrupts that with something to make you laugh.

When he sees you’re relaxed, he keeps the relaxed atmosphere going.

He manages to get you laughing and smiling and forgetting the stress and whatever else was making you panic.

When the moment closes, he’ll ask you subtly. “Was there anything you wanted to talk about?” If you shrug it off, he doesn't press on.

If you tell him work is stressful or there's just too much going on in your life to handle, he's already taking away work and offering a daily routine of cuddles and dedicating time every day for relaxation to help.

This man has got money, so he buys you whatever it is you need, including several spa trips.

Akutagawa-

He has no idea what’s going on or how to help

It takes maybe a bit too long to realize you're about to have /having a panic attack.

He’ll try to comfort you, but he’s not the best at it

He taps your shoulder and mumbles things at first.

He’s not really the affectionate type, but he can be.

He might lean his head on your shoulder and try to get you to copy how he’s breathing

He’ll talk to you about things that he hopes will take your mind off whatever is causing you the pain.

Afterward, he’ll demand to know what happened.

If you refuse to answer, he’ll sigh, but shrug and continue staying with you, his head on your shoulder.

If you tell him what’s bothering you, he does try to help.

In subtle ways, like stealing away your workload and handing it off to another, or taking you to eat out.

He’ll also make plans for you to have a day without work that won’t pile up because you took the day off

| If you want to be tagged (@ ) when i post a new work, shoot me an ask/comment |

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

death wish* matt murdock x reader

+++++++++ Request from @juniebugg : similar to Matt and Elektra in the gym ft Matt's choking kink

thank you again for the request and sorry it took so long. i had no idea how i was gonna write this and then it just hit me and i actually really like the way it came out so i hope you enjoy!

* - there is so little plot to this, i got so carried away omg. we definitely highlighted the choking kink, and maybe a praise kink, and mayhaps use a few pet names (good girl and baby girl) 😅

Song: disappear (remember when) by issues

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg +++++++++

"matt what are we doing here?"

i asked, watching him unlock the door. it made me that much more curious that he even had a key to whatever the hell this was.

"i want to show you where i go after work everyday. you said you wanted to know."

i looked around as he stayed by the door, holding his cane to his chest like he usually did.

"this is it, isnt it? where your dad trained?"

i asked, touching the punching bag hanging from the ceiling with the lightest touch. i looked to him and he nodded, walking to me slowly.

"i have an arrangement worked out with the owner and i come as i please. after hours of course."

i stared at him for a moment and a silence hung over the entire room.

"he's part of you ya know."

he raised a brow as i moved to hug the bag close to me, using it as a resting post.

"well he was my father."

i sighed out a short laugh.

"no matt, i mean daredevil."

he drew his brows.

"im not daredevil."

i rolled my eyes, letting the bag go and stepping to him slowly.

"I'm not an idiot matt, i know you sneak out in the middle of the night when you think I'm fast asleep. i don't know exactly what's in that trunk under the stairs but its kind of hard to miss the smell of blood. and even harder to miss the bruises on your face and body you try so hard to hide."

i shook my head, reaching up to touch his face gently and he flinched.

"you cant hide who you are from me Mr. Murdock. i see right through you."

he swallowed hard, tilting his head down as if he were looking at me through his red glasses.

"You always have."

"I think that's why I didn't ask you about it. I wanted you to come to me first. Tell me on your own terms."

He smiled and I smiled back before he leaned down and kissed me gently.

"And you're not mad I'm the devil of hell's kitchen?"

I snorted.

"Of course not. I'm a little concerned maybe but not mad."

"Concerned?"

I looked to the side and picked my words carefully.

"I've heard the stories and I see you limping sometimes. It's not a secret whoever it is you are fighting can throw you around."

He smirked at me.

"Not that I can't handle it. In fact i do a good amount of my own throwing around."

I smiled, amused.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

he challenged. I shook my head, placing my hand on his chest.

"Wanna show me just how much you can do?"

I challenged back and he smirked.

"is this a test? this feels like a test."

i shrugged, tracing my fingers lightly down his chest.

"i dont know, why dont we step into the ring and find out."

"lead the way."

he said and i did as told. i climbed onto the platform and he followed shortly after, leaving his cane by the door.

"so, matt, how much can you really see?"

i tested, squaring up with him, hands in a defensive position.

"enough."

he said and i raised a brow, making an impressed face.

"so if i-?"

i said before throwing a punch, him dodging it with ease and retaliating by pushing me. i huffed before trying again and him repeating the motion. we circled each other for a few moments before he decided to throw one at me, me stepping to the side and both of us laughing.

"something tells me this might go on for a while."

he said a little snarky and i snorted.

"only one way to find out."

i said before throwing another punch. in a second he grabbed my wrist and threw me to the ground. i groaned in pain, looking up at him as he offered his hand to help me back up.

"guess we found out."

he said and i smirked up at him.

"did we?"

i asked, grabbing his hand and yanking him towards me, pushing my foot into his hip and flipping him up over me and onto his back opposite me. i rolled over quickly and got into a new fighting pose, one knee bent and still on the ground and the other leg up with my foot on the ground like someone who is proposing. i had my hands up in a defensive position again. he just groaned, tilting his head back towards me.

"so its gonna be like that."

he stated before rolling over and doing a push up to get to his knees.

"i suppose it is."

i said slyly, dodging his punch and standing quickly. he was just as quick to match me though, grabbing me and flipping us both back onto the ground. he was only on top of me for a few seconds before i flipped him onto his back and straddled him, holding his hands against the mat above his head.

"guess i win."

i said proudly, looking over his face. he clenched his fists twice before he pushed upward and slammed his lips into mine. it took me off guard at first, making me let go of his wrists to kiss him back. he slowly sat us up, not breaking the kiss and i could feel his hands roaming up my back. i hummed against him until we were completely upright and he started kissing across my jaw and down my neck.

"you win."

he whispered against my skin before sucking at my collar bone, holding me against him with one hand and the other traveling up my torso slowly.

"matt."

i moaned as he gripped my breast over my shirt, biting my neck as he did so. i held onto him for dear life as i pressed my hips down against his, tangling my one hand into his hair.

"i need you."

he said, leaning back and pulling my shirt over my head. when it was gone i moved to him to do the same and when it was tossed to the side i pushed him back down onto his back. i kissed down his chest and torso slowly.

"id say this is a pretty good victory."

i said, undoing his pants and he laughed, helping me get them down his thighs.

"one we can share in."

he said with a smirk, tracing his fingers against my ankles as i stood over him and got rid of my own bottoms.

"god i want you so bad."

i said, dropping back down on top of him, kissing him deeply as i ground against him. he was already hard and part of me was proud again for not only pinning him before hand but also getting him worked up that fast.

"then have me."

he whispered against my lips and i sat back up. first i trailed my fingers slowly down his torso, watching his chest rise and fall as his breathing got heavier. then as i got further down i heard his breath hitch in his throat, his hands gripping my hips tightly.

"trophy?"

i asked and he nodded quickly, pushing his hips up against my hand. i smirked before stroking him lightly, watching as his mouth opened a little.

"please."

he gasped, bucking his hips up again as i moved my hand up and down his member.

"i need words matt."

"i need-"

he groaned, squeezing his eyes tight as i continued to tease him slowly.

"i need more."

he pleaded. i let him go and moved to hover over him. his grip loosened a little bit.

"like this?"

i asked before running his tip through my folds, covering it in my slick and sinking down onto him. i dropped all the way down onto him until our hips were pressed against each other and he let out a shaky breath.

"oh my god."

he said, moving his one hand to my stomach. i looked down at him intently as i started moving against him. as i sat up and sank back down onto him his hand got further and further up my body, sending shivers down my spine as he traced gently up the valley between my breasts.

"matt."

i moaned, his hand making its way around my throat and holding firmly.

"do you trust me?"

he asked and i nodded against him.

"god yes."

i confessed, him pulling me down and flipping us over. his one hand was still on my throat, the other coming to the mat to hold him up.

"how does it feel to have your life in my hands?"

he asked harshly as he jutted into me and i let out a short breath, my mouth hanging open.

"answer me."

he demanded, slamming into me again and i moaned.

"fuck, it feels great."

i whined, him doing it again and again until he had a good rhythm, pounding into me.

"tighter."

i said, holding his wrist with a death grip, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"how do we ask?"

he said and i pushed my hips up against him.

"please!"

i screamed as he pushed into me harshly.

"good girl."

he praised, squeezing tighter and my brain went fuzzy.

"matt."

i said drunkenly, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten. then he let go of my throat and i made a disappointed face. but my expression changed as his fingers found their way to my clit. i moaned loudly as he circled it with his forefinger. i pressed my nails into his bicep as he kept his pace, pushing into me hard and fast.

"you gonna cum when i say?"

he asked and i made a squeak noise in my throat.

"was that a yes?"

he asked and i nodded quickly.

"yes, oh god yes!"

i cried, trying to hold out.

"please matt."

i pleaded.

"almost there."

he grunted, hanging his head beside mine. i could feel his unsteady breaths against my collar bone and it sent a shiver down my spine again.

"cum for me baby girl."

he said and i could feel him twitch in me. then i pushed up against his hand and screamed as i came around him. he groaned against me as he came in me, pushing into me a few more times before pausing and trying to catch his breath.

"y/n."

he said softly between breaths.

"matt."

i sighed out, rolling my head back and forth, my vision getting clearer. he just hovered over me for a few seconds before pulling out slowly and i gasped at the sensation, feeling his cum dripping out of me and onto the mat below us. he dropped to his back beside me and sighed heavily.

"how have we never done that before?"

i said breathlessly before we both laughed.

"ive never gotten you into the ring before."

he said matter-of-factly and i turned my head to look at him.

"if you always fuck like this i might have to make more of an effort to get into the ring with you."

he smiled at that but only for a second.

"ya know i definitely didn't think tonight would go like this."

i snorted.

"and i did?"

he let out a short laugh.

"no i guess i just meant, well, we've only been dating for a little bit."

i rolled onto my side and touched his face gently.

"does that stand against how long we've been friends before hand?"

he half shrugged, rolling onto his side to face me, tracing his fingers up my arm gently.

"i have loved you for a while."

he said and i smiled, kissing his hand as it made its way up my shoulder and to my cheek.

"the feeling is mutual."

he smiled back at me before leaning forward and kissing me gently.

"god i cant believe foggy was right."

he lamented and my face fell to that of confusion.

"what do you mean?"

i said i little amused.

"he bet that id say i love you first."

i made an unbelieving laugh-like sound before hitting his chest and sitting upright.

"and im guessing you bet that id say it?"

i said, faking hurt and he laughed, sitting up too.

"i honestly didnt have a doubt in my mind."

i shook my head, reaching for his pants.

"rude."

i stated bluntly, tossing them at him and he laughed again.

"youre right, and i was wrong. but now that its out i have no intention of stopping my oh so serious confession."

i stood to pull my pants back on, amused.

"well, save it for the priest then lover boy."

#wattpad #x reader #request #matt murdock #smut #daredevil #imagines #one shots #marvel #341

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whyarewecalledtheshipname · 2 years

Text

MoM, sora, riku ramblings incoming lol, this really is all just train of thought:

No but if all the "MoM/Sora parallels" are just parallels (as in, no, MoM is not sora but he /is/ a parallel to sora), then

What does that make Darkness. Y'know, MoM's Darkness.

Like, the way those two can never fully let go of each other (or seems like, and not necessarily in a good way),,,,, If MoM really does end up being "Light", or /a/ light, and we know Darkness is,,, Darkness—

....

Did i just not process this until recently, that we have another soriku parallel on our hands iM so sLOW??

Okay so ive had a minute to formulate more bullshit but like the way xehanort, the last big bad bad, was paralleled to riku, and was "all about darkness"—we're getting a new big bad who's, as lotta people have said, similar to sora. Paralleled to sora, even, what with his association to light, his disappearance, his "carefree"/laidback characterization, etc.

Like when i think of MoM as "sora, to the extreme" in that while sora disapproves of darkness, MoM straight up wants to exterminate it, i didnt fuckin process that it didnt have to mean MoM /is/ sora but that he could just /mirror/ sora. And then i got to wondering about what that would mean, the implications. Which is why i rambled so much in the tags when i word vomited the first half of this post

But now what would this mean for all my Riku is MoM's son ramblings lmao? I mean riku could just end up having a "darkness intolerant parent" because as ive said before, parallels dont make clones. I actually think itd be kinda juicy if like riku's parent or whatever was a mirror of sora yknow? Not like a weird way but just, because riku loves and accepts sora and his qualities, so what will he do when faced by an antagonist (?) of a similar nature? Or even recognizing the similarities between sora and MoM and struggling with the idea that MoM's worldview regarding darkness might actually reflect sora's, which would suck big time for riku. Basically what sora would be doing too, ig. Facing himself/his own worldview but distorted af.

But if MoM is sora then owie bc riku would actually be faced with a sora who rejected darkness (but in that case, who would darkness be? I know the "MoM is bad timeline sora" idea is kinda tired but i will always have room for "MoM is Bad Timeline sora where Bad Timeline equals Riku Fell to Darkness Timeline" theories. Anyway idk where i was going with this anymore if i waa going anywhere im rambling lol

#soriku #tf #flashback: father and son #climbing out of theory speculation territory and straight into the crack #MoM and his Darkness #MoM and Darkness are ex husbands #that is not a new tag #fr what was even that khux line??? 'because we're friends...'#SURE DARKNESS #YOU AND MoM are FRIENDS #sussy af #okay this is random af bc idek what such a parallel would IMPLY #like MoM and Darkness obviously WERE something at some point but currently they're split up #and i have a tag about that too lol #but yeah why are they. nvm. i was gonna ask why they split up #but it's like probably bc MoM is what everyone has been pointing out #which is his belief that Light and Darkness do not mix #that one has to defeat or triumph over the other #vaguely like steam's posts about pride in the context of not strictly'ego' as we know it in the west #so MoM broke it off bc he believes darkness is inherently wrong or something and it's basically:#'soriku if sora was more intolerant of darkness'#bc it's mainly because of sora that his and riku's relationship continues to exist #BUT HE HASNT ADDRESSED THIS ISSUE THO THATS WHY #ONCE HE HAS TO FACE IT. FACE HIS OWN INTOLERANCE OF DARKNESS. HE'LL FACE THE SAME QUESTION.#of whether to accept or reject riku #MoM made his choice. but what will sora's be #and again it hinges on sora why? bc we KNOW if it was up to riku— they'd have parted ways like eight games ago.#but riku is learning or has learned that light and darkness CAN mix and so maybe he'll have a role to play in sora's own introspection #ofc this is all random bullshit speculation #my ramblings put to paper

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