#just a teen going through a normal puberty. this is how everyone acted at his age
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Can you do tom x f!reader who's in the band and they were always like bestfriends no feelings for eachother or anything but as they get older like around 2007/08 he starts to realize he's totally in love w/ reader and tries to get rid of his feelings by sleeping w/ a bunch of girls but nothing helps because he can only think of reader? And they end up going to a party together and having fun and shii and then they end up on a balcony outside just drinking out of solo cups totally plastered and tom confesses to reader and kisses her but reader is super shocked and surprised and doesn't really know what to say so she doesn't kiss him back and just stares at him, and he doesn't take it very well he's just like "...oh.." and then gets up and reader tries to stop him and he's like "no, no I'm just gonna go back to the party" and stumbles out w/ a broken heart but in reality reader liked him back too but didn't know she did until he confesses so over the next few weeks she realizes how much she's in love with him and she goes to his room to tell him all romantic and shit and they end up having soft sex (or not wtv you're comfortable with) ty sm!! I love your writing btw!
EEEHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE IM SO EXCITED TO DO THIS (and tysm for the compliment❤️)
Miscommunication
T! Kaulitz x F! Reader
Synopsis: you and Tom have always been good friends, but he realizes he wants to be more..what’ll happen when those feelings don’t falter?
Notes: 18+, Name is in the band, flashbacks to ‘Devilish’, drinking, getting drunk, concerts, parties, jealousy, talks of unrequited feelings, Tom being a attention whore💀, insecurities, platonic! Bill x reader, oral, soft sex, underlying sub! Tom (I hate using that word but idk how else to describe it???)
A/N:tysm Anon for requesting and I hope this lives up to your expectations, I decided to right this in normal style instead of bullet points, I hope you don’t mind. This is was frustrated I wanted to get it out on the 3rd😭 bro this is a few days later and it took so long because i just hate the way it turned out im so pissed at myself rn
“I act like I don’t care, that’s cause I don’t care”
For as long as you’ve lived you and Tom have stuck together like glue, you lived a few streets away but being one of the only kids their age in the neighborhood it was hard for you to not gravitate towards them.
You guys weren’t exactly alike, but more like you complimented each other, he was all brash and broody like almost every other boy going through puberty and you were kind and sweet always helping whenever it was needed.
Soon you were invited into a band that consisted of two other troublemaking kids you hadn’t met yet, you traveled around to small talent shows and state fairs to perform music. It was a rough start; you weren’t popular by any means and were made fun of for what you liked to do.
It didn’t get to you like it got to Tom yet you let him rant and yell about it to you because you knew, along with everyone else, that it was just a matter of time before you five would be praised for your talents instead of bullied.
And you were, your band became a hit, Devilish became Tokio Hotel, garage performances became studio practices, and backyard shows slowly became country-wide concerts. Tom also changed, from a little boy who would yell at anyone who messed with his friends to a teen that couldn’t even bother with people hating.
It was different, you were all different, but it was a good difference. Bill became confident, Tom became more open, Gustav wasn’t shy, and Georg was well…Georg was amazing to begin with, it just doubled. The few fans that consisted of you guy’s parents and a few old neighbors became thousands, girls and boys alike paid to come and watch the five of you perform live.
When 2009 rolled around you were known across all of Germany and a few other countries. You couldn’t have been more successful, as the years progressed Tom morphed into someone completely different. Everyone knew of his reputation, a boy who had a new girl in his car every day.
You guys didn’t drift per se, but you didn’t talk about all the things like you used to. That was okay, some things are better left unsaid, but it was weird. You both used to talk to each other about everything and it just changed so suddenly it left you confused for a while.
But you learned to accept the fact that he wasn’t the same and took advantage of that time to get closer to the rest of the band, especially Bill. He became your number 1, always there with you whether it be shopping to helping you get ready. This was one of those instances where you ended up in your shared hotel room with him and Tom.
“This is going to look really good on your Name I promise!”
You let Bill practice his makeup skills on you, a little hesitant at first because of the particular style but when you saw how his face lit up when you agreed you couldn’t say no. Bill also said the style suited you perfectly.
Tonight, was particularly special compared to other nights. It was a large party hosted by a company in celebration of Tokio Hotel’s rise to fame. Bill made it a goal to doll you up in fancy lipstick and glittery eyeshadow before leaving, which Tom wasn’t too keen on.
“Bill hurry up the party starts in like 20 minutes.”
You looked over a Tom from the corner of your eye. He was sprawled out on your bed flicking through the channels on the hotel’s tv. He was already ready and had been ready for at least an hour now.
“Be patient Tommy not everyone can just wear whatever they find on the floor.”
Bill let out a laugh when he saw how offended his brother got at your insult before turning back and applying pretty shade to your lips.
“Tom wah wah hurry up the party starts in 20 minutes blah blah blah!”
He mocked his brother in a high-pitched voice before pulling his brother from the bed and onto the hard floor with a thump! grabbing your hand and running out of the room leaving him behind as you laugh.
“What the fuck you two! Get back here, I’m literally your ride to the party!”
———
The party was boring if you were being honest. But that was probably just you. There was no one you knew except the band and some celebrities and they were all doing their own thing so you were stuck lying on one of the many plush sofas the company had lying around.
Your eyes trailed over to Tom as he walked towards you, handing you a vibrant red solo cup while he settled himself next to you on the couch, moving your legs to lay comfortably over his lap while you stared at the contents of the cup.
“What’re you doing just sitting here? You’re always in the mood to party.”
He was right, you loved to party. It was one of the only times you could let loose when on tour. Today you just weren’t feeling it like you usually were.
“I don’t know, I think it’s the fact that I ordered a Pina Colada and got vodka. But who knows.”
He hummed as he absentmindedly observed the area. Tom had an unusual habit of wanting to be around you but never talking, preferring silence, it never bothered you so you let your head lay against the armchair swirling the drink around in your hand as you observed him.
He was never really good at taking your compliments, always avoiding them in some way with a “What’re you talking about?” Or the “Name just shut the fuck up”. You figured it had to do with the whole ‘I’m too cool for compliments’ thing he had going on, but it never stopped you from slipping up and saying something every once in a while.
“You're so beautiful Tom” and he was, honestly. His eyes reflected the neon lights that flashed above giving him that euphoric effect, the curves and dips of his face were perfectly sculpted to him. His true smile was so unbelievably cute, one that only you and the band had the pleasure of seeing, and his laugh…oh my god his laugh. You were definitely drunk. Whatever.
He gave you a quick side eye at the sudden praise before getting up and grabbing the cup out of your hand successfully spooking you.
“Let’s go smoke.”
‘Let’s go smoke’ was usually his way of saying “you're being annoying, let's get high” but you nodded and took his waiting hand as he led you through the busy crowd and out some double doors.
When out on the fairly sized balcony he grabbed a joint from out of one of the side pockets on his pants, while you flicked open your lighter that you had found stuffed under some gum and candy wrappers in your handbag.
He always enjoyed it when you smoked together, the delicate flame illuminated your face just enough to see the features that he’d always admired. Maybe that’s why he hated it when you complimented him, because he always wanted to do the same but couldn’t.
Nervousness wasn’t something he felt. There was no reason for him to be nervous. Nerves were for insecurity, anxiousness, that was bullshit to him, well until it came to you, and that oh so familiar feeling bubbled up in his stomach when you looked at him under the dim light.
He concluded that he had a thing for you pretty early on, when he was about 16. One time you pulled a fan on stage that you told the band you found particularly attractive. Bill teased you and Georg and Gustav laughed as you all made your way to the bus, but he stayed back. Deciding that the pit in his stomach wasn’t jealousy like he thought it might be and just that natural protective feeling for a friend.
He didn’t want to think about the possibility that he liked you. You’d always been best friends and that was how it was supposed to say. He remembers how Bill would always tell him “Being best friends with someone like Name isn’t a good idea” because he wouldn’t wanna be just friends. Bill was right and that scared him.
After that realization he took notice of who he gravitated towards in hookups, they all looked in some way, like you. He thought it was weird. It wasn’t like he selectively picked out the ones with similar features as you…right?
“-Tom, are you listening? Pass the joint you hog”
You plucked the blunt from his hand and he stared as you inhaled some of it, releasing the air into his face, looking at him with a weird expression. You watched him stride forward and suddenly his lips were pressed against yours.
You pulled away after a few antagonizing seconds and hesitantly looked at him. You saw the way his face dropped, probably realizing what he just did. Shit.
“Tom I... you're drunk. It’s fine, okay? You won’t remember this in the morning let’s just...let’s just go home, okay?”
That nerve quickly turned into frustration as he rolled his eyes turning towards the entrance and muttering something under his breath before pushing through the doors back into the party, leaving you alone on the cold balcony with a burnt out joint and heart.
———
It had been a few weeks since the incident on the balcony, and you concluded that he did remember it the day after as he wouldn’t talk or even be around you alone. It was fine at first, but by the time the second week rolled around it was starting to affect everyone else.
His performance was slower than normal, and he brought more girls to the hotel who unsurprisingly leaked where he was were staying and crowded around the hotel to catch a glimpse of the five of you.
He was being so unprofessional; he didn't give you time to voice your feelings about what happened and just up and left you in the dark. Like how do you even bring that up?
“Hey Tom, yeah I know that I didn’t kiss you back even though you totally unexpectedly pounced on me and it looked like I rejected you because I thought you were full-on plastered but like I’m in love with you so could you stop ignoring me?”
Yeah, that’s a no. So, you just endured it for a while until he decided to lay off. That point happened around the 3-week mark when the band was on a small break from tour.
He made it his goal to stay inside his room the whole time, sulking as Bill told you. You were at ends meet, if he couldn’t just talk to you about it like adults then you would have to do it yourself.
This leads up to the moment where you’re standing in front of his door contemplating all your life choices.
Crrrrrreeeakkk
Are you serious, the one time you were hesitant about your decision he just had to open the door and make it for you?
“Name?”
“Hey, Tom uhh..can we talk about the party?” This is so awkward. What the fuuck.
He stood there hesitant for a second before opening up the door for you to come in. You ducked under his arm and situated yourself at the edge of his bed as he stared at you from the doorway.
“Okay um..so I’ve been thinking a lot about that moment and I just wanted to ask you something.”
He gave you a small nod of acknowledgment and you continued.
“Do you like me? Like I don’t know if the reason you kissed me was just heat of the moment and you just got upset because you were drunk and your feelings were all mixed or something but I really want us to go back to normal…I miss you a lot and it's weird not seeing you at our practices”
You watched him closely for any signs of discomfort but his face was unwavering except for a light smile at your words easing your nerves only a little.
“I like you; I’ve liked you for years And Scheiße I miss you too but don’t wanna be just your friend anymore and if that changes things between us just forget about this whole thing”
You smiled softly walking towards him and cupping his face with your hands, bringing your lips to his feeling him relax into you.
His breath caught in his throat when you grazed your fingers against the front of his pants, slightly palming him through the jeans when he abruptly pulled your hand away.
“Name I wanna do this with you…but I don’t wanna have sex like I normally do. I want it to mean something because you really mean something, I just don’t know how”
“Let me show you, Tom.”
——
Tom groaned when your lips pressed against his pelvis, muscles flexing underneath you at the feeling. You hummed in contentment before coming back up to him and giving him a quick kiss and taking off his boxers.
He’d never had someone take their time on him, it was foreign, different, you looked so pretty as you toyed with his cock. Seeing what made him shiver and what gave him goosebumps.
Laying your tongue flat you licked a thick strip up the underside of his dick watching the way his eyes roll back in pleasure.
“Mhm…just- just like that Name please mhm…keep going.”
Voice slightly weak, he begged you to continue, not like you’ve ever heard and it encouraged you to continue, hands slick with his precum you stroked him at a controlled pace, squeezing slightly at the head hearing his soft curses get louder.
“Let’s empty that brain of yours ‘mkay?”
While you made yourself comfortable on top of him you felt his hips shift under you, his hands finding place on your hips. You align yourself with his cock, sliding down and listening to the way he mutters your name like a prayer as his cock disappears inside you.
“Shit this is much better than I ever imagined… s’much better...” his eyes raked your body seeing his hips met your thighs. You push down on his legs to keep him steady and use them as leverage to grind against him. Not even minutes later did his quiet concealed groans turn into gasps and random obscenities.
Seeing your pace begin to slow he flips himself over taking you with him, letting your legs rest flush against his shoulders next to his ears. He experimentally rocks his hips finding a comfortable rhythm, laying his hand flat on your stomach feeling at the bulge.
Now it was your turn to be a noisy mess, covering your face with a pillow in an attempt to muffle yourself but it was quickly discarded somewhere on the floor by Tom.
“Don’t- don’t do that- you look so pretty writhing under me like that, I could stare at you all day…shit shit shit.. if you keep tightening around me, I won’t last long...”
You smiled as you looked up at him. His eyes were closed tight and his jaw was clenched tight, focused on how you squeezed around him. You let your hand travel to his face tracing his features. His eyes opened at the touch and he sucked in his breath, feeling his high approaching.
You were glowing, your hair fanned out on the bed, your eyes slightly glassy from his pace, sweat collecting on your hairline, suddenly every part of him felt so sensitive and his lips connected with yours before his hips stuttered letting out a guttural moan making sure you had ridden through your orgasm.
You cried out in his neck holding him against you as he continued for a little longer before coming to a halt, collapsing on top of you. Holding you against him in a vice grip.
“I love you Name, a lot”
#tumblr#x reader#bill#georg#gustav#tom#tokio hotel#tokio hotel x reader#bill kaulitz#angst#kaulitz twins#writing#tom kaulitz#fluff#drabble#fanfic#headcanons#tom kaulitz x reader#tom Kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz fanfic#georg listing#tokio hotel fanfic
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finally going to make a post expanding on the familiar assignments from this post
again, quick lore summary: everyone is born with a magic seed, they plant this seed when they hit puberty and eventually it grows and blooms into an animal companion (familiar) that they spend the rest of their lives with.
the blooming is generally agreed on to happen when the person 'finds themself' which usually happens in the 16-22 age range but it can be known to happen later or in rare cases, never.
The animal has to be one the person has seen before with their own eyes. zoos and international safari trips are very popular with teens who want to try and get cool animals.
Another note is the 'intelligence' of the familiar relies on how their person treats them. The more human they're treated, the more human they'll act and vice versa. Silvers for example acts eerily human and seems like shes seconds away from speaking english at any moment while Miyagis is indistinguishable from a regular animal from its species.
i'll note down character - familiar - approx. age of acquiring - and reason (if i have one) for all the ones i have figured out below the cut
so. start out with the obvious:
Daniel has a mongoose. specifically a yellow mongoose. he got it after the castle fight in tkk2. Mongoose was obvious for the mongoose vs cobra thing ofc but I also just really associate especially tkk Daniel with a small scrappy animal. If I didn't go with mongoose I think I'd go with something like a weasel or a ferret. Something small and twisty and flippy.
Johnny has a hornet. I think I modelled the one in the drawing after an Asian giant hornet. Something Big. He gets his a lot later, when he's in his mid 20s ish. A little later than Normal but not so late it's strange. I went with a hornet for a few reasons. First, gold and black are so johnnys colours. Second, I wanted him to have something a little Unconventional and bug familiars usually tend to be (but it still had to be something appropriately badass). Hornets can also be solitary but also it isn't weird for them to be in pairs or groups and I felt like that's fitting for Johnny.
Kreese has a prairie falcon. He got it during that brief window right after he enlisted but before he was sent away when he had a Girl and a Purpose and everything seemed to be going his way. I wanted Kreese to have something that appeared unassuming but was a dangerous predator and my wife and I decided on a bird of prey of some kind. We figured during his youth he likely wouldn't have seen too many exotic animals so something native to his general area would be best and we further narrowed down to a prarie falcon from there. They're a fast and highly accurate falcon with rlly good eyesight and the idea of a piercing glare staring down at students along with Kreeses own stony look felt right. (They're also known for hunting snakes <3)
Silver feels like another very obvious one, he has a King Cobra. Clearly the model for the cobra kai logo <3. He got his after they returned from Vietnam, when he started trying on different personalities to see what fit. (This means his was also fairly late). Silver is a lot more slippery and sleek than Kreese and a snake felt much more fitting as his familiar. (He also has less direct Snake Pit Trauma so still thought snakes were cool). As a young adult, his familiar would've been out on show 24/7 but I think as he grows older, he hides her in his clothes or leaves her at home to maintain his image as relaxed and chill philanthropist. Until of course, he's called back to the action.
Amanda has a leopard. She got it in her early years of college, during her bleach blonde self cut bobcut era and according to everyone who knew her at the time, during her "rebellious phase". But whatever she was going through, she mustve known exactly who she was through it. I gave her a leopard because I felt like something big and elegant that could absolutely rip your throat out would be perfect for her and I could also just see her lounging around with it like it's a regular housecat.
Miyagi has a koi fish. He got it during his teen years and carried it in a bowl with him to America when he left Okinawa. He currently keeps it mixed with the regular koi in his koi pond and the only way you could pick it out is the size of it compared to the others. Miyagi having a fish felt right. It's a simple but beautiful creature which I think fit his ideals well. He doesn't treat it as anything special (something a young Daniel finds appalling) but just gives it the respect he would give any living creature in his care.
Bobby gets a ram. His also was post high school, I wanna say midway through his degree. Ram felt right for Bobby for a few reasons. First, the obvious lamb=god=pastor connection. Rams are also notoriously stubborn animals that are aggressive in a fight which is Very Bobby imo. But sheep in general have a reputation for being very gentle creatures and Bobby fits that too.
Dutch my boy Dutch <3 got a gaboon viper. He got it during high school, peak cobra kai era. His senseis were very impressed with his dedication to the dojo. He was one of the first ones I thought of something for. I wanted him to have a snake for sure and a big thick chunky snake like a gaboon viper just felt so right for him. (Note about familiars with venoms and poisons, the toxicity is very diluted. So his snake can still make you feel awful with a bite but it won't kill you)
Tommy gets a hyena. His was also during high school, I feel like he was the first of the gang to get one. Hyenas are a pack animal and Tommy very much feels like One of the pack. He also seems to have a higher pitched laugh which is very hyenacore so it just felt right for him.
Jimmy has a chocolate labrador. I feel like his was post high school but before he started college. Domestic dogs and cats are very common familiars and Jimmy, as much as I love him, is our most basic boy. I've also just made jokes abt dogboy Jimmy since before I made the au so it was a natural fit.
Ali also gets a dog, this time a cinnamon border collie. Hers comes in college, either her first or second year, I haven't fully decided. While she is conforming to the norms by having a dog, she's standing out a little in her family by having a working breed, something highly intelligent and driven, rather than a pretty lapdog thats just for show. She needed something that matched her intelligence and drive and a border collie fit that.
Lucille has a house sparrow. I haven't thought too much about when she got hers but I imagine it was a fairly typical presentation. I wanted to give her something more common and something that was always moving and a sparrow felt right for that. Always flitting around with lots to say.
Chozen gets an Okinawan rail. His familiar doesn't bloom until s3 of cobra kai, after he's reconciled with Daniel. He had resigned himself to a life without one and was very shocked by it.
Now for some more CK era characters
Carmen has a beetle. I haven't figured out specific type yet, I was tossing up between some kind of jewelled beetle or a horned one. She and Johnny initially bond over both having bug familiars (Johnny is used to girls being like ewww a bug) #bugsquad
Miguel gets a jumping spider. I imagine his comes just after his Mexico trip. Even though it was an incredibly messy time in his life, that trip gave him enough closure that the pieces clicked into place. He's Very pleased to join the bug squad. Jumping spider felt like a good match for him, especially with how bouncy he is when he fights.
Robby has a fly. He actually got his fairly young, before the events of the show started. He is Less pleased to be in the bug squad. As a kid he always felt invisible and small like a fly and as he grew he started to embrace that feeling as it helped with his CrimeBoy Antics. We wanted to give Robby something that had a link to Johnny and in a previous au with this setting we had a pickpocket with a beetle familiar who used the familiar to help steal so we reused that concept here bc it worked well.
Samantha gets a crane. I haven't decided exactly when she gets hers but I'm thinking it's sometime during s2/3. She's got somewhat mixed feelings about it due to not wanting to be her dads mini-me but also its nice to have that connection to her grandpa. Cranes I feel combine the elegance of amandas familiar with the iconicness/irony of Daniels and the vibe of it in general just felt like a good fit for Sam.
Eli ofc gets a hawk. Nothing clever about that. He doesn't get it until after winning the tournament though.
Demetri gets a rabbit. His comes around s3/4ish and at first he does Not get it at all but eventually comes to vibe with it. Rabbits are an animal I've associated with Demetri since I got into the fandom and I just feel like it's very fitting for him. Something flighty and unassuming but that Can pack a nasty kick if needed. And I rlly like the idea of Demetri picking up thumping his foot from the rabbit when he's agitated its fun <3
Stingray is another obvious one <3 he gets a stingray. It happens the night after coyote creek. He's Very late to have one bloom but is absolutely ecstatic and is very enthusiastic about the salt water tank he had to set up for it. Please ask him about his salt water tank.
Tory doesn't have one yet. At her point in the story I just haven't felt she's hit that right time but I think she's getting close. I do think however that she has a pet tarantula that she tells people is her familiar to scare them.
Anthony also doesn't have one, he's too young. But I'm getting a bird vibe.
Yasmin has me and my wife Really torn because we want her to have something Unconventional that She thinks is the most beautiful creature in the world and we're leaning towards an Australian animal bc of where she spends half the show which keeps leading us to joking that Yas gets a fucking. Cassowary. And it's so funny
Louie has a raccoon and he puts a little bowtie on it and keeps bringing it into work and getting into trouble for scaring customers.
Anoush has a little otter and he is Allowed to bring him into work and the customers all find him very charming and it makes Louie seethe with jealousy.
A few quick ones that don't have much reasoning behind them:
Kyler: German Shepard
Moon: red deer
Burt: pika
Mike Barnes: a large monkey of some sort. One of the scary ones
SORRY for how long this is thank you so much if you read to the end I love you <3 please let me know what u think I crave validation
little gift for those who read to the end <3 some tiny car salesmen
#type first#familiar au#ive spent so long thinking abt these theres so much brain power rotating these#i wrote out all the ones i could remember but im positive im missing some#the karate kid#tkk#the story that goes with the au is the exact same as canon theres just some lil animal guys in there too
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11.02.23
im finally done with exams and we have so many exciting things coming up i can't wait!!! the biggest one is the fashion show ahhh im so excited! this is like a childhood dream come true!
im trying not to be super nostalgic with this weather bc it's getting warmer and the sun is out and the birds are singing. and this time last year B and i went to our annual trip to the mountains. it's weird how many things have changed since.
i was thinking about my step-cousin a lot lately for some reason. the reason i call her my "step-cousin" is bc she's the daughter of my auntie's husband from his first marriage and i didn't grow up with her so she doesn't really feel like family. ive only seen her twice irl i think and both those times were weird. anyway let's call her anya for the sake of this story.
so i first heard about anya when my aunty had just gotten married. i went to visit my auntie and my grandparents in russia and everyone kept talking about her and comparing the two of us because we were the same age. anya was learning chinese at her school and would often go to china as a part of some student exchange programs. she was also into photography and art. and she was super pretty! i remember looking at photos of her at my aunty's wedding with my grandmother and being blown away by how mature she looked. at 14 i was awkwardly going through puberty, trying to come to terms with my changing body, stuck between looking like an overgrown child and a clumsy teen. and anya already looked like a flawless young adult with her perfectly straight and glossy dark hair and huge and striking blue eyes, full lips, elegant dress and, the thing that stood out to me the most, 10cm platform heels. anya was very short, my grandmother explained.
but the most important thing about anya was how she handled her parents' separation and her dad's remarriage. she really made the most of it! she would tell her mum that she was at her dad's and vice versa and go to a party instead. or she would ask one parent for pocket money, saying the other didn't give her anything and get away with twice the amount of pocket money. and she got along perfectly fine with my aunty, her dad's new wife. they would often travel together and my aunty even offered her a summer internship at the company she worked at. she joked about anya taking long coffee breaks in the middle of work at the office. meanwhile i felt like i looked and acted so much like a child that no serious office would accept to have me as an intern at that age.
that summer when i was visiting my grandparents i had been struggling to act normal with my dad's new wife, as she had done so many terrible things to my mum and still couldn't stop herself from attacking her at any given opportunity. and i would cry a lot and wish i could be normal like anya and laugh about my parents' separation, instead of making it worse for everyone around me. my grandmother would come up to me whenever id frown at my stepmum again and say "hey, look at anya! she's in the same situation as you, you guys are the same age. but she laughs it off and understands what's important. look, she's best friends with your auntie now and im sure you can get along with your stepmum too!".
and so i grew to resent anya. how could she be so perfect? a straight A student who studies chinese, a perfect daughter who doesn't let her feelings get the best of her, a fun teen who sneaks out to go to parties, a responsible intern at a corporate office... i couldn't stand the idea of anya and how all everyone in the family wanted to do was compare us. and that was until i finally met her!
when anya came to visit my grandparents while i was staying over she struck me as someone who went through life so easily. i think i mentioned it a couple of times on this blog before, but im so fascinated by people who take things so lightly and go through life without much effort. anya was one of those people. the reason she studied chinese for example was because there was a chinese school right next to her house so it was just a coincidence. the reason why she got to go to china with the exchange program was an accident too, she explained. they had a last minute interview in front of the jury who would decide who got to go on the trip and, even though she hadn't studied a lot, they liked her the best. same with the summer internship. she got chosen for some reason and didn't feel like she was super special or talented, she assured me. her whole life seemed to be explained by the fact that she had certain opportunities presented to her and she accepted them all without giving it much thought. just like in her parents' divorce she could pick and choose what she wanted and all scenarios had positive outcomes anyway.
and yet, i don't think i would describe anya as an opportunist. back when we were 14 she was definitely a lot smarter and more mature than me and it was very visible by how our family members would treat us. she would so effortlessly join the conversation at the table or volunteer to help with the cooking, in a way i couldn't imagine doing myself without feeling extremely awkward. i would be laughing about some silly inside jokes with my 10 year old cousin, meanwhile anya would be helping bottle-feed my aunty's newborn baby with such care and patience as if she herself were the baby's mother. i simply didn't have what she did.
the second time i met anya was when we were 17. now i was the rebellious teen who snuck out to parties, got along well enough with my stepmum and did volunteer work. i was staying with my grandmother's and my auntie suggested anya and i go to this party she got invited to. my auntie always got free entrances to lots of parties thanks to her job, but rarely went. so she transferred the invites to us.
i hadn't packed any party appropriate outfits for my trip, so i had to improvise. i found my auntie's old dress at my grandma's, put on some of her jewellery and the shoes... well. i only had my snowboots. anya called me to ask what i was wearing. "a dress? a little heel maybe?" she asked me. "i can't decide if i wanna wear wedges or stilettos," she said.
i don't remember what the party was like. i just remember anya and i going from table to table and downing left over wine glasses. she offered me a cigarette and it was the first time ive ever smoked one. she vaguely told me about school and studying chinese and how she didn't study much and magically got good grades. then she called us an uber and we went around the parking lot, knocking on the windows of every single car, trying to figure out which one was the uber.
later that year i saw that she got into the best university in the country. i laughed to myself, thinking that it was probably another accident or coincidence and pure luck, as she would explain it. and three years later graduated with a first. she then got a job at nestle and now she's head of marketing at another big company. when i went to visit my auntie last year she told me that anya has a boyfriend now who's a nepobaby and whose dad gave him a job at a major oil company and a flat in central moscow where they now live.
in september i saw that she was posting that they wanted to rent out their flat on instagram. then she was posting from the airport with three huge suitcases. i thought that maybe she was leaving russia for good as some people had done because of umm the elephant in the room. i had never thought about her as someone who'd be politically involved and the idea of her perhaps leaving the country in sign of protest and leaving behind her perfect job and central flat appeared admirable. but it turned out that the two of them just relocated to bali and continued working from there, while renting out their flat in moscow.
and i don't know, maybe her life does have its flaws and i shouldn't compare us. im doing my own thing, preparing the fashion show and working on a bunch of cool projects. but seeing anya's instagram stories of her cuddling with her scrawny and nerdy-looking blonde boyfriend on the beach in bali by the beautiful sunset really made my inner insecure 14 year old jump out.
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so wtf is up w obito's height?
(aka how tf is that a 1 cm height difference, kishi?)
(aka just working out the inconsequential detail that is Obito's vertical reach, compared to which perhaps only the Narutoverse continuity is more elusive...)
(just putting it out there for other obito simps to stress & mull over i guess lol)
so i randomly recalled some funny posts from ppl who hc Obito as the Tallest Uchiha™, being a whopping 6'3" while the other men of his clan are around 180 cm
and at first it seemed like just another canon?-what-canon? hc bc per the databooks he's 175-182 cm (whatever that hyphen means...)
and sasuke's adult height is also 182 cm, while madara is 179 cm (basically the same?), so
so much for "tall obito" hcs?
but... what if we doubt the databooks?
(wouldn't be the first time they've been wrong compared to canon manga content...)
let's say 175 cm is Obito's height at age 14 / 15, which turns out is quite normal for an Asian teen male, and would make sense because when he faced off with Minato, who is 179.2 cm, they seemed about the same height
let's say he uses henge (transformation jutsu) to keep appearing this height, even as he grew taller—bc he was supposed to be fully grown Madara and not a kid with the longest cosplay gig, going through puberty while managing a criminal organization and all that
(it's sorta a running joke by now: "pain & konan not noticing obito getting taller is a plot hole"—but maybe obito simply used henge, hence, no plot hole after all?)
so is that the reason for the hyphen? obito pretends to be 175 cm tall even into adulthood while his real height is 182 cm? (6ft tho, not 6'3")
but then i thought of that nigh-iconic panel of Obito & Kakashi, where they are drawn clearly from head to toe, standing side by side
(this was the only panel i could think of off the top of my head that you can use to compare obito's height)
now, Kakashi's height is 181 cm; this is purportedly consistent in the databooks, through parts I & II (makes sense since he's introduced as an barely functioning adult and has no reason to hide his height, unlike obito)
so obito should be, as far as we can see, practically the same height as kakashi.
(who can even detect a 1 cm height difference?)
if anything, thanks to kakashi's floofy hair, kakashi should appear taller than obito
but in this panel, obito seems to be taller than kakashi—by more than just 1 cm.
in dumblingo (only language i speak rly), i'd say he's about... a forehead taller?
Naruto - Chapter #666
aka srsly, how is this a 1 cm height difference, kishi?
yellow lines: obito's head
red lines: kakashi's head
you can see that the top of kakashi's head (ignoring his epic floofly hair) only reaches the base of obito's forehead
(thanks to black zetsu we also clearly see the top of obito's head without (spiky) hair length muddying things up)
and kakashi's chin is just above obito's shoulders / clavicle
blue line: kakashi's shoulder
you can see that the line of kakashi's shoulders are lower than obito's—they're practically at obito's pecks
(i went by kakashi's left shoulder but you can see his right one also doesn't reach obito's, and it's worth noting: kakashi there is wearing a pretty thick protective vest / flak jacket, while obito is completely shirtless)
green line: their feet
aight idk how to calculate angles / perspectives n all but it should be fine to just go by their heels where you can see their foot flat (horizontally) on the ground right?
anyways...
it would make sense for obito in this panel to show his real height (as opposed to when he's method acting as madara or sth), because, to name just one reason:
he's had the jūbi ripped out of him & been forced to perform rinne rebirth (among other fun things, like losing his heart and having his throat slashed)—basically surpassing everyone in the Narutoverse survival olympics
so at this point, he should be way past wasting chakra for a henge, hence, this panel should be the most accurate reference for obito's height
and, based on this canon manga panel, he should be well above 181 cm—certainly more than the databooks' 182 cm
left: obito's tallest possible height per the databooks
middle: kakashi's height
right: what obito's canon height is more likely to be, based on that panel of obito & kakashi in chapter #666
in conclusion:
canon obito should be closer to 6'3" or 190 cm (6'3" is apparently 190.5 cm) than the databooks' reported max height of 182 cm
and since manga canon trumps side content like the databooks, lemme validate the hc crowd and say...
those hcs of obito being 6'3" are more accurate / canon compliant than the databooks' 182 cm
(or maybe i need better glasses, idk)
#obito#nart thoughts#manga panels#kakashi#archive#this was supposed to be a short semi shit post but i always overexplain myself sfdgshjskslfs#obito is such a thespian he even method acted his height to match his character this is what true artistic integrity & dedication looks like#even the akatsuki art duo could never-#thiccbito
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Better Than Sex
Author: SisterSpooky1013
Rating: Teen and up
Words: 1666
Tagging: @today-in-fic
Read it on AO3
“Better Than Sex Cake” Mulder read aloud from the menu before looking across the table at Scully with his eyebrows raised in question.
They had just concluded an evening traipsing through an (alleged) actual ghost town, though no signs of ghosts were to be seen. Just a lot of graffiti, dirty mattresses and a used condom or two. Now they were sitting at the first diner they came across, Mo’s Café, and Mulder was considering the sex cake.
“Knock yourself out, Mulder, I’m sticking to coffee.”
“You aren’t curious as to whether this cake is, in fact, better than sex?”
“Well I’m sure it’s better than bad sex, but if it were better than great sex the population would die out because everyone would skip procreating and just eat cake.”
Mulder considered her statement. “Isn’t ‘bad sex’ somewhat of an oxymoron?”
She gave him an incredulous look. “Are you being serious?”
Now it was his turn to look incredulous. “The only bad sex is no sex, as far as I’m concerned.”
Scully shook her head ruefully. “Must be nice to be a man.”
Just then the waitress came by to take their order. Scully requested coffee and dry toast, while Mulder opted for coffee and the aforementioned sex cake. After she collected their menus and retreated to the kitchen, Mulder eyed Scully appraisingly, gaging her mood. Sometimes she was open and willing to talk about things of a personal or private nature, other times she kept her lips as tight as a steel trap. He suspected he might have a chatty Scully on his hands, and didn’t want to waste the opportunity.
“So, if I’m understanding correctly, Scully, there would be a circumstance under which you would choose a piece of cake over sex?”
She screwed up her mouth a little, not in consideration of how to answer the question, but whether to answer it at all. “Depends who the sex is with, I suppose, but yes, I could think of a few times where cake would have been a more enjoyable option.”
“Hm” was his only reply as he sat back against the seat of the booth, absorbing this information.
“Are you saying you’ve never had sex that was subpar enough that cake would have been better?”
He pulled in a deep breath and looked to the ceiling briefly, and she could imagine him running through his mental file of sexual encounters. “I don’t think so, no.”
“Is it wrong that I feel compelled to kick you right now?” She asked, just a hint of playfulness in her voice.
He laughed.“I’m not saying that every single time was Oscar-worthy, but even the worst was still better than some flour and butter.”
“And they say male privilege isn’t real” she deadpanned as the waitress came by to present them with two coffees, cake, toast and a tray of sugar and cream. She mixed the accoutrements into her cup while Mulder sipped his black, followed by a bite of the cake, which looked like a basic white cake with some kind of custard and whipped cream on top.
“This is pretty good, though I can’t say it lives up to its name” he said around the food in his mouth, pushing the plate towards her and holding out the fork suggestively. She took it and stabbed a small bite, meeting Mulder’s eye as she pulled the tines from between her lips. It was good, as most cake is, but nothing to write home about.
“Well?” He asked expectantly.
“Well what? She returned, wiping her finger at the corners of her mouth.
“Is it better than sex?”
She paused before answering, knowing that Mulder was going to keep picking at this until it got uncomfortable. He liked to do that, to see how far he could get her to go before she blushed and demanded they change the subject. He took immense pleasure in making her squirm, and even more in getting her to reveal something personal that he normally wouldn’t be privy to. Sometimes, she had as much fun indulging him as he did in goading her. She wasn’t above sharing something that she knew would shock him, just so she could see the look on his face. She liked that she could still surprise him.
“Not better than all sex, but certainly better than some of the sex I’ve had, regrettably.”
“What would make sex so bad that cake is better? I must know.”
“I think you can use your imagination, Mulder.”
“Come on, Scully, you could be saving some poor woman from ‘worse than cake’ sex with me in the future. Consider it an act of charity.”
She shook her head at him, but couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at her lips.
“Your answer lies in that drawer full of tapes that aren’t yours, Mulder.”
“How’s that?”
“Let’s see, sex starts when the man presents his erection and ends when he ejaculates. The woman howls like an animal no matter what he’s doing, though her orgasm is never mentioned. There is no foreplay. Would you like me to continue?”
He swallowed a mouthful of coffee he’d been holding, afraid he might choke. He’d never heard her speak so openly about sex before, especially not sex she had personally experienced, and though he’d been the one who initiated the conversation he was suddenly afraid he was going to have to walk out of this diner trying to hide a bulge in his slacks.
“Fair enough, Scully, but porn isn’t real. It’s like an action movie. No one actually hangs off the skids of a helicopter mid-air, it’s just fun to watch.”
“I’m glad to hear that you’re aware of that, Mulder, and I would implore you to spread the news to the rest of the male populace.” She punctuated her statement with a loud crunch into her toast.
Mulder’s mouth fell open slightly as he studied her, trying to tell if she was joking or embellishing.
“People really do that? Have sex like they do in porn? Men you’ve slept with?”
She rolled her eyes. “Mulder, if you’re going to sit here and tell me that you have never done that, even as a young man, I’ll have to call BS.”
He put his hands up in defense. “I’m not saying I emerged from puberty as Don Juan, but I don’t recall ever not being invested in my partner’s experience. I’m sure my skills were lacking at the outset, but I always tried.”
She looked at him derisively from under her eyelashes. “Well then, you really should get out there more, Mulder. Share your gift with the world.” Her voice was laden with sarcasm.
He laughed and ran his hand over the back of his neck. “How am I coming out to be the bad guy, here Scully? I’m not the one who gave you a ‘worse than cake’ lay.”
She smiled at him but her tone remained facetious “of course not, you’ve demonstrated that your skills in this area are unparalleled.”
“Damn straight!” He said with a slap of his palm on the table, and they both erupted into laughter.
They held eye contact as the laughter subsided, awkwardness descending over the conversation. He had made reference to the two of them having sex, which was a topic he’d only made innuendo about, never mentioned directly. Trying to break the tension, Scully finally spoke.
“Well, I guess you can see why I don’t bother dating.”
“I guess I can” he replied, swiping the last crumbs of cake off the plate with his finger.
“Why don’t you date, Mulder?” His expression registered surprise. “Or do you? I don’t want to be presumptuous.” She felt a pit in her belly at the idea that he may actually have a secret love life.
“No” he spat out, chuckling a little. “No, I definitely don’t date. It’s just too complicated I guess. I’m kind of a serial monogamist anyway.”
“Really?” Now it was her turn to be surprised.
“Yeah, for the most part. I’ve had a couple flings, but the vast majority of the women I’ve slept with I was in a relationship with. The emotional aspect is important for me.”
She studied him, imagining a version of Mulder who would be so considerate and giving. She didn’t need to imagine it, really, she’d seen it. While he was capable of being selfish and obtuse, he had also been incredibly tender and caring with her on many occasions. He had certainly shown a proclivity towards chivalry; opening doors for her, walking closer to traffic on the sidewalk, helping her into her coat or holding an umbrella for her. The idea that such gestures would extend into the bedroom was logical, but it still set off a stirring in her belly. In what other ways might he be so attentive to her needs? She swallowed the last of her coffee and tried not to think about it. Maybe later, but not here. Not now.
“Well, I hate to state the obvious here, Scully, but I don’t think you’re going to happen across the guy that will give you a 5-star experience if you never put yourself out there.” As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to kick himself; why the fuck was he encouraging her sleeping with other people?
She smiled demurely and shrugged “for now I get my thrills from ghost busting and the occasional slice of really good cake.”
He bobbed his head and smiled back, pulling out his wallet and setting his bureau credit card on the tabletop.
In truth, she had already happened across that guy. He was sitting in front of her at a shitty diner in the middle of nowhere. And while she hoped that she may enjoy that 5 star experience in the future, for now just being in his presence, laughing and seeking the answers to the mysteries of the universe together, that was better than sex.
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S5 Ep12: Brand New Mokuba Just Dropped
My tumblr has decided that it can’t save drafts again. Which sure is a problem I keep having but no one else seems to have...but were back. Back and ready to talk about cards.
First off, lets address the best thing about this episode, it’s the return of The A Team animation team! Dunno if it’s the same ones that did the seasons before, but it is a pretty good team this episode, so there’s lots of that to look forward to. Everyone is now 2 feet taller (Kaiba is 4 feet taller) and there’s just some really nice shots going on. It’s not as shiny as other seasons, which makes me think it might be a different team or a different studio using a different method (you don’t really see them playing with line weights anymore which makes it seem like a different method to me) but still--it’s a nicer looking episode today.
So we start off this episode with Seto begging us all to forget the hell that just happened and just get on with it. Of course, no one’s gonna do that, because yo, what just happened was kind of weird.
And because there’s only like...I dunno...maybe 2 episodes left in this arc? (kind of a quick arc, honestly) Leon decides to do a complete personality reversal. Although, it’s really hard to do a reversal when you didn’t have a personality in the first place...so I guess this more Leon showing us A personality--and I’ll take it.
He’s a little jackass now, but it’s youknow...still Leon so it’s not really that bad. Like we deal with Seto on the reg, so I feel like Leon as a jackass is just like...well that’s just how you play cards in this universe.
Everyone speculates whether or not Seto actually did a crime, and a SURPRISING number of them said he did not! Weird! But hey...I’ve gone over a billion times before, their memory is like when you throw popcorn into the ocean--it just fffzt’s and then it’s gone.
Roland was THIS close to actually saving Kaiba corp a huge hassle for once. This Close, Roland. You almost did it.
(read more under the cut)
I love that Roland has decided to give all these teens maybe the uncoolest nicknames in the entire world, and the teens have not made any indication whether they do or do not appreciate their alliteration nicknames.
But despite the fact that although Roland uses these opportunities behind the microphone to embarrass them just SO MUCH, the Kaibas still persist in having him introduce most of the matches. It makes it feel like the Kaibas freakin love this. They love his Dad jokes. I cannot tell if they are like “yes, please embarrass my friends.” of it they’re like “yes. Roland that was so cool. Yeah Leaping Leon. Good one! You’re so cool!” Because they don’t know what fun is.
Also, look what I see in the sky.
Truly a sign that they have overcome their trauma of seasons 2-3.
Or maybe they had a lot of blimps laying around and this is a completely unrelated blimp? Either way, I’m glad they can still handle the sight of a blimp.
And then, just out of nowhere, Mokuba hit puberty.
Which I mean, it was inevitable. It was going to happen some day. Luckily, we will be getting a new Mokuba this episode to make up for the fact that this one has done A Flirt and it was probably a completely innocent turn of phrase he has no idea is a double entendre but do the writers know that?
And while we ruminate the decisions there, lets bask in the glory of purple staircase.
This is such a purple staircase!
On another, identical staircase walks Leon, who gets to have a discussion with Zigfried, who probably just stood next to the wall and just chameleon’ed in here without getting caught cuz coincidentally this staircase dresses like him.
Freakin Mai?
Anyway, lets start this duel where like...I dunno, it’s a little late to start stealing souls, but maybe Leon will do a stab? (He will not)
So glad the storyboarder is back to kind of flex. I don’t normally see Roland drawn with this much attention. Look at him go. That’s the stance a grown man takes when he’s ready to embarrass a bunch of teens.
Kaiba writes a speech introducing himself, or Roland just kinda made up a speech as if Kaiba hadn’t asked him to do that. Either way it’s kind of a big way to talk yourself up--but he is trying to talk up the theme park so people will actually like...go. So it makes sense.
Also what is this nonsense where people worldwide are watching a theme park opening match? Card culture is so weird because we’ve noticed in other seasons there are people that don’t play cards, and I feel like they’re not watching this for fun. It’s like when I watch news unfold--they’re watching to see if they have to raid the toilet paper aisle and the canned goods again to prepare for yet another onslaught of card nonsense.
Legit Mokuba was like “Look at my bro. Look at how he gave up dueling to throw this nice tourney for everyone!” and it’s like...Mokuba...he just dueled...Mokuba...he’s putting all the profits directly in your pockets this is hardly a martyr up here.
Seto Kaiba decided to inform the world that he would have won if he was actually playing and that was sure a statement he made after losing to Yugi like...3 times now? Several times.
Everyone else converses how Leon’s acting weird. I don’t know why they care all of a sudden, because no one acts normal playing this game, but the plot desires them to care.
Which is when we find out...
...the new Mokuba...
That’s right. He was a Mokuba the whole time. For once we haven’t abducted Mokuba, instead...we have too many Mokubas.
This Mokuba even has hella long hair, too. I imagine if Mokuba proper had a ponytail it would probably look just like this but black. It would have been just--so good if he whipped off that ribbon and shook out his hair and it fluffed into a horrible Mokuba mess, but you know, that’s one of the many reasons why I don’t write for this series. That and I was like in high School when this came out.
(Please admire Kaiba’s head of Security who looks like he’s about to drop a poop out of terror. It’s a really small detail, but I appreciate that the storyboarder had him kind of antsy in the background)
Seto insists that the only one to beat Yugi Muto will be himself and it’s like...I know. That’s why I keep expecting someone to get stabbed by this tiny purple haired Mokuba. But instead, Leon’s too busy feeling mad that he’s not necessarily playing the game for fun.
But he’s still playing the game though? so I feel like Yami doesn’t have many stones to throw here. Leon hasn’t even cheated yet. (As if Yami isn’t cheating basically all the time by being 2 people in one body)
I can’t BELIEVE this show would throw that at me after the number of times I have seen Yami Muto nearly murder other people (and sometimes literally do a murder) out of revenge. Yami is basically a revenge god...like...show...what? It’s season 5, I thought we’ve basically cemented this in. Occasionally the show will just be all “card games are supposed to be fun though!!!” and it’s like...these are the last children on Earth who are playing card games for fun.
If anything, it should be Leon lecturing them on how to have fun. They just murdered a Great Leviathan with cards. Before that they were dealing with Noah, with Marik, with Pegasus, with Bakura. The times that Yugi has just played a game for fun has been...This Arc.
So maybe Yami is just begging himself to have fun for once. Maybe he’s just mad that he can’t play a single tournament without someone getting possessed? Maybe his frustrations really aren’t about little Leaping Leon, and more to do with Yami sick and tired of being a protagonist.
But, youknow, it’s not an anime, unless the protagonist hypocritically can get away with every sin out there and everyone else gets punished for it. So lets find out just how far Leon fell from fun-having grace with a flashback.
This Belle cosplayer went off in like...one of the most hilariously bad accents I’ve heard in a while, it was just so much, I’ll probably cap it because lolol.
But since Leon wasn’t actually in line to inherit the company, he has to sort of hole up in his room for his entire childhood. It’s kinda weird, since we can’t assume that Zigfried will either a.) live forever or b.) have or adopt or raise children in any capacity. But they’re pretty sure Zigfried will live forever, and in this universe--maybe.
Also, I’m really not sure why they have to dress like it’s 1890, but they sure are. The Victorian era just never left the Von Schroeder house. Like these women are wearing corsets to be in that dress, and you can’t BUY a corset to match this type of dress, you have to make your own, and I know, because in Quarantine, I got really into historical sewing videos.
I can’t believe I spent an entire year watching historical sewing videos. Holy crap. I don’t even sew.
But then again...Seto is kind of drawn like he wears a corset...so maybe people are still wearing them in the Yugioh universe? Maybe that’s how their fashion just works?
Guys...I analyze Yugioh fashion a lot but the fact that the Edwardians never freakin left this worldly plane is just...that’s canon to Yugioh. I really just want to sit back and analyze Yugioh fashion with a moodboard and try to connect all the dots logically as if they aren’t just one-off jokes, but I don’t know how I’d fit that on this post.
And like, one of y’all brought up in a comment in the last post that what’s neat about this arc is we are seeing Zigfried as what Seto would have been like if he hadn’t like...gotten cursed by Yugi Muto. So, going off that idea, I think it’s kinda fun that Zigfried’s outfit is a bit of a younger take on Pegasus’ whole look with the wrist lace and a fusion of Gozaburos look of wearing a cravat with a smoking coat. It’s fun to imagine that this is what Seto’s inner gremlin dresses like (which...now I think about it...was a thing from S1 where Yami defeated a Seto gremlin but...I don't remember much about it) Of course, Seto would also be hella dead if he hadn’t gone through the Yugi cycle, but it’s still a fun road to think about.
Plus, when we go down that road, it really makes this arc look even more like it’s just about Seto Kaiba’s therapy sesh to recover from the last several seasons that he’s accidentally (or intentionally??) invited the entire world to watch and that’s very funny to me.
Bro has informed me you can make a deck out of Jerry but could not show me any receipts.
...I mean that is Dartz right?
Like I know all the characters have cards of themselves IRL and all the characters are also based on cards that were made before they were on TV (with the exception of our main cast that was...youknow, a horror manga) but like...
...what’s up, Dartz?
Anyway, our little Mokuba decides to sneak out the house and run around the world at the ripe ol age of ... what I’m guessing is like 10-12, and is pretty sure he can just get away with that. Luckily, the crimes he’s committing are exactly the type of crimes that Zigfried needs.
(Pretty sure their Dad died or is incapacitated but OK, dub, go ahead and pretend that plot point didn’t go down last episode.)
Also, I’m really glad we got a good storyboarder for this part who was like “Zigfried looks...like that?” and still managed to make this character design really work this episode. In some parts they even gave Zigfried those wide Marik Eyes that are kind of ubiquitous with Yugioh. It just needs the right hands to draw it, and then any amount of...this outfit...can work.
So, just like when we met Mokuba in S1, he’s gonna do a duel on Yugi to save his family and probably also like Mokuba, not give a damn for how this game is supposed to be played. Luckily, this time Pharaoh doesn’t have any star chips lying around for this kid to just run around and steal before booking it out the back gate.
Yugi over there with his twitter-brand hot-takes, not knowing the difference between actual brainwashing and blackmail/family pressure.
(WHY IS MAI HERE?)
Look at that hatching!
Ah this is the 00′s content I’m here for! Check out the soft brush! The dodge and burn! Ah! Man this sure was an era of computer art! and stuff like this cost a lot of money to make and it looked ... like this!
Now I’m pretty sure we can make art that looks this dated on like...a free phone app.
PS please do not ever shade your art like this. This is what you don’t do. Do not do this. I will shed a single tear shaped like the Photoshop symbols for dodge and burn.
Also...guys...
next episode is Ep 13. Every season so far this show has been like “we’re normal, everything is normal” getting us complacent until exactly Ep 13, when everything gets really effed up. So...
will that happen? Will they continue this tradition into S5 or has it been a coincidence until now? Excited to find out.
Anyway, if you just got here, this is the link to read these from the beginning in chrono order:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
#ygo#yugioh#yu gi oh#S5#Ep12#yugi muto#leon von schroeder#good because I forgot his other last name#zigfried von schroeder#seto kaiba#mokuba kaiba#roland#joey wheeler#tea gardner#the others who didn't say or do anything so I probably shouldn't tag them#Can't believe how quickly this arc is wrapping up
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Linked Universe Zeldas
So last December I decided to draw my idea for the Zeldas on a whim. Found the WIP recently and decided to finish it.
Also, I typed up all my headcanons for them because I have a lot. They are below the cut.
And I put down nickname ideas, because I'm bad at naming things, and I think the LU discord has already decided on a set of nicknames that they like. Personally, I really dislike most of those though.
❖Corresponding Link: Four
o Age: Teen, just older than Four. Not a major difference, just enough that she can tease him about it.
o Status: Officially still holds the title of princess, acts more like a queen. Her father is extremely protective of her, but after Vaati he conceded that he couldn’t protect her forever. Since then she has been learning to fight, forge (not good at it), and taking over more and more responsibilities from her aging father
o Nickname ideas: Light, Picori, Force
o Fighting style: Mostly fights with a sword and shield. Has extremely strong innate light magic. (light force, although weaker now) Doesn’t necessarily know how to focus it yet (magic bomb, some healing). If you are going to be on the battlefield stop running around like that.
o Current relationship to Link: Best friends, practically siblings. When they were kids there was definitely some major crushing going on. Then everything with Vaati happened and things got… complicated. Neither she nor Link really knows what type of romance they want for the future. They still play lots of pranks on people. She helps keep him stable on the days when his colors get a little too wild.
o Random stuff: Hyperactive and cheery. Always something new to see or learn and she wants to do it. hates sitting still, she is always moving somehow (got turned to stone). Top is hers; Link made the sword (gift), rest is extras from four’s parts (stolen). Hair is naturally extremely curly, lets it down for formal things, tied up for adventuring. Helped four get back to functioning as Link after being four people. Will attack him to get him to take care of himself. Is taller than both four and wind.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Hyrule
o Age: At least a hundred. Was 18 when she was cursed to sleep, no one is exactly sure how long she was asleep.
o Status: Was a princess before falling asleep, offered the crown once woken up. Really over being royal. Link helped her get a job and lodging on a farm at the edge of Hyrule. Really likes that.
o Nickname ideas: Legacy, Farmgirl, First, Ancestor.
o Fighting style: Healer. Lots of bandages to patch everyone up. Doesn’t like to fight, but will stab a man if the need arises. The world is cruel, be kind. Has weak magic, a little bit of healing, and lots of prophetic. Knows the best places to hide on a battlefield.
o Current relationship to Link: They are good friends. He checks up on her from time to time, and she makes sure that he always has a place to rest and relax in safety. Their world is a little bit of a mess, everyone needs a support system.
o Random stuff: Has insomnia. Afraid of not waking up. Extremely wise, or maybe just world-weary. On tense but good terms with current queen Zelda of Hyrule. Forgives her brother, has come to terms with her fate. Taciturn and calm, probably depressed. Extremely sensitive to dark magic. (like an old burn wound) Dislikes people who use it to forcefully get their way. Doesn’t outright hate the principle of it, but will actively shy away from the presence of it.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Time
o Age: Adult, mentally/physically the same age.
o Status: Queen of Hyrule. She is married and has a daughter.
o Nickname ideas: Destiny, Sheik, Queen, Lyre/Harp (what is that thing?), Sage.
o Fighting style: Fights mostly with magic. Uses the harp to play songs (ironically fights like HW sheik) has basic sheikah skills. Has only been training to fight for a short time, is still fairly physically weak. One of the most proficient magic users all round. Can take down the basic mooks, but won't last long against a bigger enemy. Knows how to fight alone.
o Current relationship to Link: Strained. Not OOT sheik. Is MM Zelda. Only knows link as the boy who showed up to save the day, then left. Has had occasional interactions, she visits the ranch, he works with the guard. Only in the past year or two, she has had dream glimpses of the alternate timeline. She knows that she and link killed Ganon side by side, that she helped link disguised as sheik. Does not know about the seven years or most of the trauma. Basically, seen like five cutscenes and nothing else.
o Random stuff: Prophetic dreams. Knew she would be leaving on a quest. Kingdom is well set up to work in her absence. Loves her family, is an idiot who doesn’t know the importance of checking in via letters for anything other than politics. Snobbish, proud, put too much stock in titles. Best manager, not a great leader (doesn’t have the personal skills for it). Sees the world as extremely black and white.
❖ Corresponding Link: Twilight
o Age: Young adult.
o Status: Newly coronated queen, has been running the show for a few years now, it's just barely official
o Nickname ideas: Dusk, Dawn, Shadow
o Fighting style: Uses mainly rapier to fight. Also, a great archer. Because of temporarily sharing a soul with Midna, has access to powerful twilight magic. Not as strong as Midna, still strong. Has goddess magic (channel through weapons). Tries to hide twili powers mostly since it's “dark magic”, but only technically. She knows it's not true dark magic and really just wants to avoid a lecture (does not get along well with time’s Zelda). Knows her way around the edge of a battlefield.
o Current relationship to Link: They barely know each other. Only really interacted through saving the world things. Then they went separate ways. She considers Midna a sister and wants to slap both Midna and Link for not realizing they like each other. Once she knows Link better, she will probably tease him a lot.
o Random stuff: Unlike most of the other Zeldas, sees the world as being mostly shades of grey, rather than stark black and white. Somber and stoic. Secretly a massive gremlin. Has a few habits picked up from Midna's soul along with the magic. Is awkward around ‘normal’ people. Has spent almost her entire life in political settings. One of the best politicians. Rather open about her feelings, it's just small and easily missed. Feels guilty for the troubles that befell both Hyrule and the twilight realm. Hates having to stand back unable to help. Screw rules she is going to help.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Wild
o Age: 118-120ish(?) I don’t know how long it has been since the events of BOTW.
o Status: Technically queen, currently is focused on rebuilding Hyrule. Has no intention to take up the throne any time soon.
o Nickname ideas: Scholar, Architect, Champion, Urbosa, Scientist, Little Bird.
o Fighting style: Not a great fighter but she is learning. Decent with a sword. Gets a crossbow from twilight and then makes her own out of sheikah tech. (currently has no magic and good riddance). Learning to navigate a battlefield.
o Current relationship to Link: They are good friends, but it's awkward. Neither of them are totally sure how to act around the other. Basically, either gremlin adventures, or awkward small talk. Past the first road trip, only interact a few times a month. She is caught between trying to mourn her knight and accepting her new hero. Cooking shenanigans.
o Random stuff: Loves learning new things. Can and will study and find the effects of every plant. Knows poisons, antidotes, elixirs, potions, and everything else. Still trying to come to terms with everything that happened. Frequent nightmares. Claustrophobic/minor insomnia. Knows all the languages. Loves studying sheikah tech, and finally gets the chance to as much as she wants. Hates the castle. So many things change culturally over 100 years and she has no idea what to do. Awkward, but sincere.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Wind
o Age: Teen
o Status: Technically the queen. Hyrule currently consists of a single town on the mainland, and lots of plans. Queenish. Anjean is teaching her how to politics.
o Nickname ideas: Name is tetra that’s it.
o Fighting style: Uses a pirate saber as well as the phantom sword. (IDK if spirit tracks is part of Wind’s story, but I was not passing up the opportunity to give tetra a massive sword). Decent archer, and can channel light magic into weapons…. most of the time…... It’s a work in progress. Also has general goddess magic. Big explosion of light. Knows her way around a battlefield
o Current relationship to Link: Serve on a crew together. Best friends and partners in crime. There is a lot that needs to be done to start a country, they will do it together. It’s not going quickly. They keep getting distracted. Why do paperwork when you can steal things.
o Random stuff: Smol. Link hit puberty and got a growth spurt. She did not. Not a politician, this child should not be in charge, whose idea was it to let a pirate child run a country. Great leader. All the social skills. Shoot first… that’s it. Sassy. Trying her best to be a good princess and live up to her lineage. It's hard. There is no book. Feels like she is letting everyone down. Hates big birds. Occasional nightmares. Really hates being cold. (turned to stone)
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❖ Corresponding Link: Legend
o Age: Older teen
o Status: Queen. Has ruled for a while. Amazing support system. They regularly keep things running when she gets kidnapped. Good relations with all surrounding countries.
o Nickname ideas: Maiden, Sage, Hilda.
o Fighting style: Doesn’t. Pacifist. She can attack with light magic, chooses not to. Healing magic, team buffs, defense. Just because she doesn’t fight doesn’t mean she will let her team die. Strongest support magic. Does not know her way around a battlefield.
o Current relationship to Link: Good work friends. They get along well enough. No massive personal relations. She asks him for help with killing monsters, he asks her for help with laws. It works for them. Occasionally they will get lunch together and catch up. (aka make sure he didn’t get himself killed.) Can use telepathy to contact Link at any time. Keeps it to emergencies only. Because he finds it massively annoying, and a little creepy.
o Random stuff: Massive romantic. Currently single. Misses being able to gossip with Hilda. Kind and compassionate. Does not stand for injustice. Will forgive until the end of time. Just because she is kind does not mean she is weak. Strong-willed. Good politician. Loved by her people, even if Ganon has attacked like five times. Ganon is the only person on the list of people she would happily shank. So much paperwork. Give the girl a break. Keeps craft supplies on her for long imprisonments. Scrying magic, and a little bit prophetic.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Warriors
o Age: Adult. Older than warriors, younger than time or his Zelda.
o Status: Queen of Hyrule, and commander of its army. Her Hyrule has been in turmoil for a while even before the war with Cia.
o Nickname ideas: General, Commander, Tactician.
o Fighting style: Best fighter. Can use all the weapons. Summon a bow or rapier of pure light magic. Strongest understanding of how the goddess magic works with weapons. Mostly fights as Zelda (basically her gameplay style), still uses her sheik disguise sometimes (ironically fights similar to smash bros sheik because of extensive sheikah training.) Lives on the battlefield.
o Current relationship to Link: They work seamlessly together in battle and are friends outside of it. They haven't actually known each other very long so it's awkward sometimes. She still has to occasionally remind him that she doesn’t need a title. If they were two kids in a village then they would probably date. But they are not, and things are complicated. Duty to the kingdom comes first.
o Random stuff: Best makeup. Amazing, if ruthless, politician. Best historian. Blunt. No time for crap. One of the best leaders doesn’t have the pure charisma to outdo warriors though. Resting B Face. 90% of soldiers are scared of her. Comes across as harsh, rude, cold. Really, she is just a bit awkward and hides behind a mask. Can’t do people, can do basically anything else. Minor prophetic magic.
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❖ Corresponding Link: Sky
o Age: Old teen/young adult. Older than Sky.
o Status: Technically the queen, but Hyrule hasn’t been founded yet. Officially goddess Hylia reincarnated. She doesn’t go around flaunting the title, but sometimes the memories of Hylia she gained will overwhelm her. Full goddess mode. Doesn’t stand for dark magic.
o Nickname ideas: Hylia, Sun, Swallow.
o Fighting style: trained at the academy and knows how to fight with a sword. Not a good fighter. massive bursts of power usually win her fights. Sometimes she can channel a little bit of her power, but usually, she just gets overwhelmed by all of it. General goddess magic, cannot channel through weapons. Thinks she does, but in fact, does not know her way around a battlefield
o Current relationship to Link: Do I need to explain? These two are head over heels. Sappy love birds all the way. Childhood friends. Everyone is surprised they're not engaged yet.
o Random stuff: More adventure-ready style to reflect working on founding Hyrule. Fierce and determined. Kind. But she will get her way. Struggles to balance her mortality and newfound divinity. Feels bad that Sky had to fight for her. Loves her bird. Beautiful singing voice. She is trying her best but is in fact very bad at being an adventurer. Good at sewing. Loads of people skills, working on leadership skills. Best with children. 6th sense type prophetic magic. (aka see a shot before it is taken, but not a coming calamity.)
That's it. Congrats on making it to the end. You get a cookie. 🍪
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#legend of zelda#princess zelda#zelda#loz#LoZ Fanart#long post#headcanons#my art#shekorla#sorry discord#yall are great#dont like almost all of the nicknames
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“I was human once. Where were you then?” I pretty thoroughly abandoned Teen Wolf after season 4, and even before then, I didn’t engage with the fandom much, but the voice that you give Scott is enough to keep me with one toe dipped in the pond. He’s funny and clever and kind. Even years since I’ve read anything else in TW, WTWTA continues to be a favourite. Do you feel like talking about where you were planning to go with it? I’ve seen you talk about Lightning Crashes plenty, but not WTWTA.
Thank you so much for this ask! Not gonna lie, Lightning Crashes consumes most of my remaining Teen Wolf attention just because its so freaking big and I've got so much written for it over the years that like, I will riot against myself if I don't finish it because like ugh I didn't write all that just to have it sit unread in my own damn files forever, y'know? So like, while I would love to return to Where Wild Things Are someday I'm not trying to make any claims about that one until LC is off my back. Tbh, I'm trying not to make any claims about fanfic or deadlines until I'm fully recovered from my surgery and whatnot because like......my day to day life is just not reliable and I hate not being able to keep my word on stuff.
BUT. That all said, I do still have a lot of fondness for WWTA and plenty of thoughts about it and willingness to talk about where it was headed for anyone who prefers to just hear about that on the assumption it won't ever really get returned to, cuz like, you are Valid.
And I actually have a lot of fondness for that part you quoted in particular, like, I've heard a lot of good things from people about that whole interaction being a standout for them, and its a personal fave because it pretty succintly got to the heart of some of my biggest issues with Teen Wolf's portrayal of hunters and specifically their ideology and self-justifications.
Anyway, some basics about where that fic was going below the cut, and I'm happy to go into more detail or provide snippets or excerpts from future parts as well.
So the very next chapter after what was posted is actually another Scott POV, and it has Peter showing up to his house at night while his mom's at work, Cora with her uncle as well, and 'summoning' Scott to be by his side as well while Peter goes to meet with another Alpha in a rival pack's territory. (Said Alpha being Ennis, in this case).
This chapter's actually a pretty interesting one IMO because I used it to play around with a personal headcanon I have for chemo-signals. There's actually been a fair amount of theorizing in the scientific (and pseudo scientific, lol) communities about what it might be like if humans could pick up on and interpret chemo-signals, because the science suggests that actually we DO.....just at such a tiny magnification so as to make it impossible to get any like, usable data from what little our noses do pick up.
But a popular theory is that picking up on chemo-signals would produce a physiological like, 'mirroring' of what's being picked up on, like....okay, so there's this thing in a lot of evolutionary traits that are linked to survival mechanisms. Where like, the body in the act of receiving various signals from another being about something being dangerous or threatening or to be avoided, it'll essentially mimic the very signs of distress or warning in the person or creature its picking up those signals from. Its kinda part of an automatic feedback loop, like going through a version of the same reaction a person is seeing in others is part of the body and brain's interpretative process, taking in certain stimuli and then processing it in ways that end up with the brain consciously cluing in that what its seeing is that it should be wary of danger.
I'm explaining it badly, but the basic idea is like.....you know that almost instinctive flinch of horror or fear you get almost in like....sympathy, when you see someone else in obvious distress or terror....even before or without seeing or experiencing whatever it is that's making them so distressed/afraid yourself? That's an example of what I'm talking about here. One creature or person transmits various signals - be they visual by way of stance or expression, or scent, or auditory like screams - and surrounding 'pack creatures' or basically any nearby beings likely to be part of that initial being's pack or herd or community.....they pick up these signals and the message of warning or whatever being conveyed via those signals....and in the process of translating that into some kind of actionable instinct, they ALREADY replicate and thus partially pass on those very same signals themselves.
So the thing about scents that we give off even as humans, is that there's actually a LOT of data and signals encoded into these scents or the various things our bodies produce in association with these scents, like sweat. Even though we can't discern these scents to any degree that allows us to meaningfully interpret the data encoded in them, because we didn't ever end up evolving down the evolutionary path that might have resulted in us being able to smell to that degree....like, the information is still THERE, packed into those scents and odor-producing body by-products.
And that has a lot to do with why we react the way we often do to smelling someone's sweat even to the degree that we DO pick it up.....because think of what bodily reactions tend to produce sweat. Its not just physical exertions, its also in a response to nervousness or discomfort or disgust or outright danger, etc.....and our instinctive responses to scenting the sweat someone produces is often to like....mirror those very same emotions. Just to a much more minor degree than if we were able to smell to the same degree that like, we can see.....and thus pick apart single scents and interpret the various distinct elements and emotions packed INTO those, much like how our eyes are evolved to pick apart visuals and interpret specific details about shapes we see in front of us and give a lot more nuance and specificity to what our eyes are picking up on.
So the theory is that if we WERE able to smell to this keen degree....we would be able to tell a LOT about people's emotional state just from the physiological byproducts they produce in various emotional states.....BUT there'd be a trade-off. We would also be prone to the same tendency to unconsciously mimic the signals we were picking up on.....so our own scent glands, our own expressions, would be likely to 'pass on' the indications of fear or arousal or anxiety that we're smelling.
What intrigued me about this idea, in terms of werewolves who are stated to be able to pick up and interpret chemo-signals......is that it carries with it the implication that actually, most werewolves - at least those in packs - would have EXCELLENT self-control, in contrast to what most hunters believe about werewolves and their lack thereof.
Because think about it......if werewolves are constantly being bombarded with the chemo-signals of those around them, and interpreting these smells and the signals contained within them with the same matter of fact ease most of us translate the visual signals our eyes convey to us......in actuality, werewolves would need to have exceptional control over their own reactions to external stimuli.......or else they'd constantly stand out by having facial expressions and stance cues that seem to change radically with seemingly very little reason for them to do so as far as normal humans around them can tell. And at the same time, the facial reactions they might instinctively flash to in response to picking up say, stark terror from someone who was trying their best to hide that VISUALLY due to the presence of someone they were afraid of like an abuser....the fact that werewolves seemed to often be reacting to things they were picking up on in ways that seemed completely contrary to what visual or auditory cues were evident to everyone else....this would also make them stand out even in a crowd.
So to my mind, the extent to which werewolves were shown deciphering information via chemo-signals on the show suggests that actually, werewolf packs would place a huge focus on teaching their children and their new bitten members both the importance of having firm self-control over their own reactions and emotional state - in order to counter their own instinctive tendencies upon smelling things like strong fear or arousal or anxiety in others - as well as the HOW of doing just that.
Which in turn would lead to the idea that its the LACK of a pack - and the grounding knowledge and presence of other experienced werewolves - which most often results in the existence of the 'out of control' omega werewolves that hunters use to justify the necessity of their existence.
Think how bewildering it would be to constantly be bombarded with signals and cues that suggest that the people around you are at any given moment in heightened states of panic and distress and discomfort. How much that would shred your own self-control if you weren't extremely practiced - and aided - in keeping a clear awareness of your OWN emotional state and feelings at all times, so you don't get swept away by the tide of emotional information you're picking up on all sides. I imagine it wouldn't be that much different walking down the hall of a school picking up the scent chemo-signals of a hundred teenagers in the throes of puberty, hormonal changes, and constant stress and intense feelings.....than say, if you or I were to walk down that same hall and instead of just seeing and hearing a hundred teenagers laughing and talking and going about their day, we saw and heard every one of those teenagers acting out visual and auditory cues of extreme intensity on all sides, from some of them screaming for dozens of different reasons to others being clear images of someone in pain or outright terror, etc.
Its a lot. Its easy to imagine that omega werewolves would not actually be any less 'capable' than any other werewolf, they're not wild or feral because they're lesser or whatever.....its simply for whatever reason, they never were taught the lesson of just how important it is to learn how to not just interpret scent cues, but block them out when necessary or at the very least maintain a conscious awareness of how to keep your own sense of self prioritized in your brain over just....instinctively reacting to everything being flung at you information wise.
Anyway. So a big component of what's to come there is how this might impact the world of Teen Wolf if explored in depth.....
Because on the one hand, this information would be the EXACT thing needed to really put things into clarity re: hunters and werewolves. The reality that actually, most werewolves are exceptional at self-control....that when they're a danger to others, its usually because they're that way with INTENT like Deucalion or Ennis. That most werewolves aren't the inches-from-being-mindless timebombs that hunters stress are the real reason for why they exist. The omegas are actually the odd ones out, and their lack of self-control is something that can actually be mitigated by integration into existing packs or just more avenues for educating themselves on what they are now and what differences that makes in their lives and just their very approaches to life.
But on the other hand, this information is exactly what werewolves like Scott CAN'T inform hunters of en masse.....because of the existence of hunters like Gerard and Kate who actually don't CARE about the code and the idea of just existing to protect humanity from the out of control dangerous 'monsters'....but rather just want to kill werewolves for other reasons. Because hunters who were fully in the know as to how much control the average werewolf has over their emotional state....as well as WHY its so important for them to learn and practice such exceptional self-control......because of how VULNERABLE to reacting to the emotional states of others werewolves are......they would no doubt be able to weaponize this against werewolves. After all, even exceptional self control is bound to waver if say, in the presence of large numbers of humans who are being deliberately influenced to give off certain scent cues in mass quantities......just so hunters can pick out at a distance who seems to be reacting to things none of the humans present seem to be aware of, etc.
So things like this are meant to become central to Scott and Allison's burgeoning relationship and the everpresent question they each have for how much they can really trust the other - and trust the other WITH - no matter how much they want to. Even as Scott starts to fall for Allison and believe the best of her, he's very aware of her still existant ties to her family, her own 'pack' - and despite being in possession of so much knowledge about werewolves that could most likely open Allison's eyes even further to how inaccurate most of the information she and others like her father are working off of is......Scott's equally keenly aware that giving her that information COULD still backfire and put his own pack in danger if it for whatever reason doesn't end up being enough to fully bring her over to his side.
Basically the big theme of the story has always been about who can you trust, even when you really WANT to trust them, because even people with similar moralities can have conflicting priorities and its not always enough to just be on the same page in one of those respects.
Anyway, the next chapter is big on introducing the importance of chemo-signals as Peter drives to his meeting with Ennis and tells Cora and Scott to settle between themselves who will accompany him inside (a clear position of prominence relevant to the ongoing power struggle between Cora and Scott for influence among their packmates). And most of that happens by way of the two of them 'scent-talking' to each other in the backseat. Because a side-effect of the idea that smelling chemo-signals prompts certain facial cues in response, as well as exceptional control over their own emotions and thus accompanying physiological cues, means that its possible for werewolves to have very involved silent discussions just by deliberately invoking various scents for the other, etc.
Cora of course wins that mini-battle between them, by way of the leverage she has over Scott now that she knows he's able to lie to Peter without betraying it with his scent or his heartbeat. Peter would never risk having someone capable of lying to him with no sign, so that's as good of a death sentence if he finds out. But at the same time, its something Cora knows she can't milk for too long, because the longer SHE has the information that Scott is capable of that, the less effective it becomes as leverage.....since hiding that from Peter could massively backfire and put her at risk too, meaning there's only so long she can use it as leverage against Scott before it becomes a case of mutually assured destruction and he says 'go ahead, tell Peter, and once he finds out how long you've kept that from him see what position that leaves you in.'
So Cora knows this information is best used sooner rather than later, so she leverages it off the bat, to get Scott to cave on this one and so she's the one to accompany Peter to his top secret meeting with Ennis and learn whatever they're talking about and what the basis of this alliance they seem to have formed is. Also, Peter comes out of the meeting carrying a mysterious box he got from Ennis, that seems to have been his goal all along, and has Cora troubled, but unwilling to divulge any information about what it might be.
Scott however gets something out of the meeting too, because even while left outside, he discovers some key information.....Ennis' pack includes Jiang and Tierney, two members of Brett's old pack that he thought were dead. Ennis had 'taken them in' though they really didn't have a ton of choice in the matter and were less than thrilled about it....which gives Scott the start of an actual plan. Which thickens once he learns Brett's sister Lorilee is alive as well, and a member of Kali's pack, along with refugees from another wiped out pack, the Primals.
Essentially, where this is all building towards is over time, Scott starts reaching out to the exploited and miserable teens stuck at the bottom of abusive packs they never asked to be a part of but are afraid to leave....and begins building an alliance of teens across multiple local packs. None of them are strong enough to overthrow their own Alphas on their own, but together, they could be strong enough to overthrow a single Alpha, and then consolidate as a pack of their own behind a single teen Alpha.
Of course, problem is Cora figures this out eventually as well, and begins building her own rival alliance among teens from Kali's pack and others, and it essentially becomes a race to get an alliance strong enough to topple Peter built first, before the other can make their move.
On Allison's side of things, she begins mentoring the younger teens that Scott picked out as being eyed by his Alpha as potential recruits. This involves teaching them archery at her house one weekend, only to then discover from Gerard's conversation with her parents that hunters recovered the arrow Allison had shot through Isaac's shoulder way back in the first chapter. They found blood on it, and are planning to use it to see if the person that blood belongs to is in the system at all. Which Isaac is, due to being in the foster care system, even if only nominally.
Feeling complicit and not ready to trust the werewolves yet but not willing to feel personally responsible for the death of someone she goes to school with, Allison alerts Scott to the danger. Which in turn leads to the pack under Peter's orders, like, breaking into the facility where the arrow and blood are being analyzed and destroy the sample before it can trace back to Isaac and from there, the rest of them by association.
Problem is, its Matt's first official 'outing' on a werewolf mission and he decides to revel in his newfound power by killing a guard. Welcome to Team Blue Eyes, Mattie. That didn't take long. Not that anyone is surprised, but Scott is a bit screwed by it. Because now Allison is furious and retreating from their slowly building alliance/relationship because she feels guilty that her information led to someone getting killed by a werewolf and thinks she never should have shared her intel even though Scott tries to stress that he had no control over Matt and could do nothing to stop it.
So that kinda puts a roadblock in the Scallison that takes time to work past, though it will of course get worked past.
Meanwhile elsewhere, Peter's plans for turning more freshmen are delayed when Cora and Scott both feel pressed to alert him of a surprising development at Beacon Hills High before the other tells Peter first. Suddenly there are two new werewolves at school - albeit very nervous, scared and confused werewolves - and they aren't transfer students. Someone turned two of their classmates, Tracy and Josh, and that someone was NOT Peter. So now Peter is outraged because someone is turning people in his territory which is a clear challenge from another Alpha, and he wants to know who. Which leads to Erica and Boyd being assigned to tail the new wolves and see who they lead back to.....as well as both Scott and Cora, by now accelerating their efforts to build up support for their positions both inside and outside of the pack, like both of them now make plays to get Erica and Boyd from the No Man's Land they've been residing in, and get them to finally pick a side between the two rivals for Peter's Alpha crown. With the information they glean from following the two new surprise werewolves being vital to both Scott and Cora's plans.
The Alpha in question turns out to be Deucalion, who is back in the area after years away where he seemed uninterested in werewolf politics, but now seems to be intent on building up a new pack for himself across multiple Alphas' territories in earnest.
Meanwhile meanwhile, Scott has started to worry about where Theo's loyalties actually lie, as Boyd informs him that part of what's kept him from throwing in with Scott is Boyd keeps his nose to the ground to stay very informed on what's what and keep abreast of what everyone else is doing at all times - Boyd is very big on the idea that knowledge and thus information is power - so Boyd has been paying more attention to Theo than even Scott has lately, given how much Scott's got going on at the moment. And Theo's been making some moves of his own that have Boyd distrustful of just how much Scott ACTUALLY has his loyalty, and thus Boyd is wary of hitching his wagon to the prospective Alpha who is perhaps not as well or thoroughly supported as he thinks he is, or is counting on being.
So Theo being Theo will complicate matters considerably. Note that I don't go with unnecessarily evil Theo ever, as that's boring, but I always fuck with absolutely and necessarily self-interested and amoral Theo because that's anti-boring. So Theo's not out to screw Scott just to screw him (well not THAT way at least), but Theo is big on covering his bases and he's contemplating making his own bid for power because he's not sure he trusts that Scott can pull this off and Cora's not an option given that he HAS until now been Team Scott in all visible ways, so he's seeking....other options. Just so he can have the most possible options and vet them thoroughly before deciding on a course of action, naturally.
The big tipping point to all of this will come when someone betrays Scott to some hunters and leads to him being captured and identified as a werewolf by some hunters loosely affiliated with Allison's family.....and Allison makes her choice here for good and risks everything to rescue Scott which might involve someone dying. Not a main character. But uh, there definitely is some dying and it makes Allison and Scott both feel things like guilt, regret, self-recrimination and also "I did what I did and that's that about that" with only like 60% of that being bravado to cover up omg I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore.
In order to find somewhere for Scott to recuperate that is not her house, because lol duh, and is not Scott's house, because Peter lol duh, a desperate Allison ends up looping in Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Stiles, and enlisting their help in hiding Scott at Lydia's lakehouse until he recovers. This leads to them all finally being in the know and uncomfortably allying with Isaac and some other werewolf members of Team Scott, who are of course furious at the betrayal of any werewolf giving up one of their own to hunters, let alone Scott.....which leads to the twins making a surprise shift in allegiance, because they think Cora was behind the hunters finding out and that's too far for them. It was NOT in fact Cora, but it might have been someone ON Team Cora who thought they were doing what Cora would have wanted them to do. And by might have I mean definitely and also they were Not Correct in their assumptions about what Cora would want. She and Scott are rivals and she's an antagonist here but she's not evil or even as bloodthirsty as she pretends to be for appearances, but she like Theo is looking out for number one and what she believes is best for what remains of a Hale pack, any Hale pack.
Other stuff happens, Liam does get turned, Mason gets his druidic knowledge on because that's a Trope that no Kalen story will ever be without, and the ultimate showdown between teens and asshole adult werewolves will end with Scott True Alpha level-upping but Peter definitely will still die as will several other Alphas and Scott is not the only teen who ends up an Alpha at the end of things though each teen Alpha will for now go their own way with their own pack made up of kids from the two teen wolf alliances. There will be confrontations with the hunters before the end too, beyond just rescuing Scott from the NPC hunters who are destined for Demiseville, population them, but the hunters will not be 'totally defeated' in as much as that's even a possibility, and the story was always meant to end with the McCall pack and some human allies taking to the road to find somewhere else to establish a territory and build their strength (and graduate high school) before making a full stand against hunters.
Backstory is meant to be filled in all the way through, with a focus on Scott and Derek's not-at-all-like-canon relationship as for the first year or so after Scott was turned, Derek was still around and did his best to help guide and teach Scott while acting as a buffer against his uncle which Scott greatly appreciated and his thoughts of 'fuck you Derek' should be taken as unreliable narration and mostly just cynical humor cuz he misses him. With said backstory reveals culminating in the eventual shocker of how Derek died (surprise, it was Peter in the parlor with the backstabbing and also candlestick), Cora finding out, cue Cora Not Being Very Pleased With Uncle Peter At The Moment, Actually, and like....other shenanigans are had.
Also also there may be a road trip involved at the veeeeeery end, that involves the mysterious box Peter traded something to Ennis for, which may or may not be magic and resurrection-oriented, but also definitely is both those things and aimed at a grand finale of teen Derek rising from mystical waters being like "who the fuck are you" at Scott who smiles and says "we're brothers."
And that's what you missed on Glee.
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Ursula
Okay so with that whole Cruella movie thing going on there is a post floating around about why they haven’t done something like this for Ursula who is mysterious and cool and has this interesting untold backstory. That just reminded me of the fact that back when Maleficent first came out 7 years ago I was thinking about that same premise but with Ursula and wrote what is basically a plot synopsis for an Ursula backstory I created and never did anything with.
I also didn’t want to hijack the original post I had saw addressing this so I am posting it here.
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Ursula is from a race of merpeople with tentacles instead of fish tails that abandoned their home in the deeper part of the sea when food became scarce. During the move baby Ursula got separated from her family and found by a passing octopus who sees her and takes her to Atlantica. The then childless King Poseidon and Queen Amphitrite take Ursula in as their own. A couple years later Triton is born.
At first Ursula is a normal child. She is raised in a loving but strict home and groomed to assume the throne of Atlantica as she is the oldest child. Triton will get the other half of the sea to rule and start his own kingdom when the time comes. The King and Queen are actually really happy about having multiple children since it’ll divide the workload of ruling to a more manageable degree.
King Poseidon is strict and stern with a stubborn streak and a short temper. Despite this he is also a very brave, wise, caring, and protective father figure. While he may act distant and aloof he deeply cares about his children and is not afraid to be downright silly to make them smile. He takes a vested interest in teaching Ursula magic as she had an affinity for it as a child. Triton on another hand is taught more combat by Poseidon.
Queen Amphitrite is confident and charismatic with an effortless grace and elegance. She is highly intelligent and a gifted diplomat able to persuade others easily. She has a habit of being vain about her looks but only when out in public. In the comfort of her home with her family she is much more laid back and almost childlike and bubbly. She loves her children and takes a leading role in their studies and teaching them how to be leaders.
As children Triton and Ursula get along fine. They tease and fight like normal siblings do, but you can tell that there is a lot of love between them as well. As teenagers they are still close but puberty, maturity, and peer pressure cause them to make poor decisions.
Life goes on and while Ursula does face prejudice from some of the kingdom for her species she is assured by her family that they love her and she doesn’t need to change to please others. While it does help she still carries a certain resentment for those who do hate her just because of how she looks.
Growing into a teenager is where it really comes to a head. Ursula is a proud, intelligent, kind of arrogant and flamboyant young lady. She often has to fight back against the harsh comments and passive aggressive treatment of her peers which gives her a thick skin and pessimistic attitude.
Triton as a teenager has grown up to be very much like his father. He is stubborn and short tempered with a tendency to be dismissive and highly opinionated. He still cares about his family, especially his older sister, Ursula, but with pressure from his friends starts to act colder and more distant with her. When he stands up for her when she gets bullied he is ostracized by his friends. Eventually he stops helping altogether although he knows it is wrong and feels guilty about leaving her to fight her battles alone. As the bullying gets worse and her best friend, Triton, becoming more and more distant with her Ursula gets angrier and more selfish so to keep herself safe.
One day things are going a little too well. People are nicer and happy to see her. Confused at this sudden turn around but encouraged by her brother she opens up to them and starts to enjoy herself believing that maybe things are turning around.
This goes on for a couple days and Ursula lets her guard down and enjoys herself with her new friends. It is her birthday and the kingdom gathers together to celebrate. Ursula invites her new friends as her personal guests to the festivities. Unbeknownst to her though was that this was a long term con to get to this exact moment.
A thing about Ursula’s species is that they are predatory hunters. They hunt down live fish and other aquatic life for nourishment and like sharks get attracted by blood. This was a problem growing up for Ursula as it was a natural part of her biology that she had to learn to control but does go out and hunt away from the kingdom as needed.
Her peers use this information to their advantage and gift her a bunch of chum. Angered that her friendship with these people was all a ruse to embarrass her Ursula goes into a rage. She uses her magic to animate the chum and have it chase and stick to the party goers. Her parents try to calm her down and manage to get through to her for a moment to stop but at this point the blood from the chum has attracted a group of sharks that break into the party and start chasing everyone.
Poseidon, Triton, and the guards are able to drive the sharks away but the damage has been done. Everyone blames Ursula for the shark attack despite the fact that they only showed up because of her bully’s “gift”. Despite everything Ursula does get a lecture from her mother about learning to control her temper and that she was not taught magic to use it in such a way. Ursula tries to explain her side of things but is shrugged off and told to lay low while they fixed things. Ursula is essentially under house arrest and encouraged to not so much as leave her room as much as she can until things die down.
Triton comes by to check on her and tells her that it was messed up what those people did to her. One act of aggression did not make her a bad person and her species definitely did not. Ursula asks him that if what they did was so wrong then how come he didn’t say anything when she unwrapped their present? How come he’s been pushing her away these past couple of years? Did he think she wouldn’t notice that he abandoned her to defend herself?
Triton gets defensive and tells her that it was not like she made it easy all the time to defend her. Could she try to be a little more sociable and nice to people instead of holing herself up with her spells all day? People would probably like her better if she didn’t act so strange.
Ursula is stunned. He did not just tell her that it was her fault that she has been ostracized by the community because of her species and her keeping herself locked away from others was what was most beneficial to her mental health. He did not!
That’s not what he meant--
It sure sounded like that’s what he meant.
Ursula, please, let them talk about this.
No. She’s done talking. She’s done waiting for everyone to accept her. They are never going to accept her. Not as one of them and certainly never as their queen. If Triton, her brother, her best friend, could not see what was happening, could not support her, then she had nothing left here.
She flees the castle. A massive search is launched to find her but Ursula has retreated to one of the farthest and darkest reaches of the ocean. There she hones her power. Her memories also morph turning her reasonably pleasant childhood into a lonely recollection where neither of her parents loved her. Her teen years are even worse as she takes the rejection and scrutiny and amplifies it tenfold in her mind until she has convinced herself that everyone in the kingdom hated her and didn’t care about her at all. The only thing she has from her old life being the nautilus shell her mother had gifted her on the birthday everything went wrong. It was a symbol of power and her right to be ruler of the ocean.
Sometime during her isolation she befriended two moray eels, Flotsam and Jetsam, that she enlists to spy on Atlantica for her. There she sees preparations being made for Triton’s coronation. She crashes the coronation and while at first everyone is scared and guards are called Triton recognizes the necklace and his long lost sister and swims to embrace her and welcome her home.
Ursula is not taken in by his sincere relief and gratitude that she is back and tells him that the throne was hers alone. Triton of course is confused because he does not understand why she is so angry with him. He did not choose to be king alone, everyone thought she had runaway never to be seen again years ago. They were supposed to rule together as brother and sister until she left.
Ursula goes on a rant about how he couldn’t have truly believed that. They had never been friends. They were never even family as far as she was concerned. She alone was supposed to rule the seas and she was here to reclaim her birthright and she was ready to take out Triton to do it.
Triton is now angry that his sister does not believe him and hurt that she hates him now. He tells her she does not deserve the throne after abandoning it and the two get into a large fight. Triton’s brute strength versus Ursula’s magic. It is pretty close with Ursula almost getting the upper hand before Triton manages to knock her back and she is subdued. Unable to do the deed of sentencing what was once his beloved sister to death he instead banishes her back to where she came from. Ursula vows to have her revenge and take back her crown.
Back in Atlantica Triton stares at the one remaining portrait of Ursula that remained hanging in the palace. A family picture of Poseidon, Amphitrite, Ursula, and Triton. Triton has it taken down and hidden away. It would be better for future generations that Ursula be seen as an evil sea witch that must be avoided than the rightful queen of the ocean she had been raised to be. He has his own growing family to worry about after all and it is better if they don’t know who she really is.
Epilogue brings news to Ursula via Flotsam and Jetsam that Triton’s youngest daughter has been seen skulking around sunken ships. Interesting. Be sure to keep an eye on this one.
END
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gosh I wish I had 17 year old me’s motivation to write this and fully flush it out.
#give ursula a good backstory cowards!#i know no one is gonna care about this but I do dang it!#ursula#the little mermaid#not ml
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Tape to tape - chap. 1
Coops - High School AU
All credits for the world & the characters for @lumosinlove. (I’d also like to thank the list of 100 most popular baby names in Canada in 2019 and Most Common Last Names In Canada for helping me figure out names for side characters.)
I did some more research and found out that hich school in Montreal actually lasts only 3 years instead of 4. For the sake of my sanity, we are just going to ignore it since I have no idea how to work with that time frame.
With this chapter we jump backwards in time to see what the beginning of high school was like for Sirius.
PSA. The texts in cursive are inner dialogue. ;)
Enjoy!
(ps. Hazel, absolutely loved the new chapter but hated the cliffhanger. Please post the next one.)
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Sirius admitted that he was nervous. It was the first day of high school. He didn’t really stress about school since hockey was the only thing that mattered in his family. But he didn’t like things changing. And this was a big change.
You’d think that school wasn’t important for a hockey player. Partly you’d be right. But school was the only thing that made Sirius feel normal. There he wasn’t the hockey prodigy with a name widely recognised already at the age of 15. He wasn’t the family disappointment who had gotten beaten behind closed doors for years. There he was just a regular teen who isn’t the best of the class but passes every exam.
“Have a nice day Sirius!” Linda wished from the driver’s seat. “Try to relax a little. You’re gonna be fine!”
Sirius glanced at her with his face emotionless. “I’ll try. Bye.” He said before getting out of the car.
This was the part he hated. He hated the mask he had to put on every single day. He hated that he wasn’t sure if his little brother would remember who he really was or if he’d only remember this stonefaced teen who could only try to smile when sneaking into each other’s rooms. He wasn’t even sure if he remembered how to smile properly.
He hated this and wanted to get out of here but he knew he was still too young. If he wanted to pursue a career in the NHL he’d have to stay in school for a couple more years and get drafted after he graduated.
”Black! I didn’t know you’d come to our school! Listen up ladies and gents, this man will be the biggest name in the league one day.” Sirius turned towards the side of the main stairs. There he could see sitting around 10 boys and girls all wearing the same school uniform. A dark eyed boy with cornrows was smiling brightly towards him.
”Nice to see you Felix. And don’t jinx it.” Sirius said walking over. Felix raised his hand to ruffle Sirius’s hair but he was fast enough to duck.
”Alright, alright. It’s nice to see you too Little one.” Felix grinned at him cheekily.
Sirius groaned a little. ”Oh don’t start that again. This year there will actually be people my age in the team.”
”Oh I know. But you can’t blame me. You were actually tiny when you started last year. That name was earned.” Felix started explaining to his confused friends. ”Black here was way too good for his own age group so they decided to transfer him to play with us older ones last year. The thing was that this boy hadn’t really hit his puberty like the rest of us so he was about a head or two shorter than the rest of us.” That caused Felix’s friends to laugh. Sirius was shaking his head.
”Where’s your other half Felix? I thought you couldn’t do anything without him.” Felix’s twin brother, Levi, suddenly appeared at their side. The rest of the gang jumped a little but Sirius just ducked instinctively to avoid the hand trying to ruffle his hair.
Levi didn’t even try to act surprised. ”Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Hello, Little one. I still think it’s slightly creepy that no one can surprise you. What do you think Felix?” ”Definitely creepy.” ”As I said.”
Sirius just chuckled lightly and tried to move on as fast as he could. There definitely were reasons to his constant awareness of the things happening around him but he’d never say those reasons out loud. ”Alright boys. I have to head to class. You don’t mind telling me where the French classes are?”
”Yep, you just walk in, take the first stairs you see up to the third floor, turn right and you are in the language corridor. Then just look at the classroom numbers.” Levi guided him.
”Thanks Levi. I’ll see you at practice!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder while walking towards the doors.
Sirius had asked Linda to drop him off a little earlier than usual so he’d have time to find his first class. Bumping into the Wright brothers had cut that extra time down to a couple of minutes. As he walked along the corridor Sirius kept his eyes open in case he’d see any of his relatives that would need to be avoided. He knew that he’d have to face them at some point but the first day wasn’t the right time to do that. The longer he could avoid them the better.
Once Sirius finally reached his French class he could see it was almost full already. The teacher greeted him with a nod and told him to go sit at the back of the class where there were two free seats next to each other.
’Hopefully I am the last one. That way I wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.’ Sirius thought as he lowered his bag to sit next to the desk. Sirius sat down and glanced around the room to see if he recognized anyone. There were a couple persons he knew from his old school but he didn’t know them enough for them to try to start a conversation with him.
Before he could let out a sigh of relief one last person walked through the door. Sirius watched as he walked towards the teacher who directed him to go sit at the back next to Sirius. As the boy started to walk across the class Sirius got a better look at him. Slightly taller than himself, kinda lanky but his stance was strong. Curly light brown hair, couple of freckles on his cheecks and hazel eyes. A small scar on his nose and he was one of the few people who could make the school uniform look actually good.
’Cute.’ Sirius thought. ’Wait, what? Since when have I thought boys were cute?’ ’Since him. And the cute ice cream vendor that we met during the summer with Reg. But mostly since this one. This one is also hot.’ ’What? No. Shut up.’
The boy had already sat down next to him as he was having that fun little piece of inner dialogue. (’More like the beginning of an existential cris-’ ’Shut up!’) The boy looked at him and offered him a small smile. Sirius just nodded and turned towards the front.
The teacher introduced herself and went over what to expect from this class. After 15 minutes she told the class to get to know the person sitting next to you as you’d be doing a lot of exersices with them.
Sirius eyes widened a little. ’Shit.’ ’YES! Now we get to know their name!’ ‘I still don’t get what you are talking about.’ Sirius turned towards the boy sitting next to him.
”I guess we are going to be a pair.” The boy said. (’Ah, his voice is like the prettiest dream.’ ’What does that even mean?’)
”Yeah, I guess so.” Sirius answered. (Stop being a jerk, idiot! Go on, introduce yourself.’ ’Shut it.’)
”I’m Remus.” (’Mon dieu! His name is Remus! Merde, I’m going to faint!’ ’Please, I beg you. Do that!’)
”I’m Sirius.”
”Nice to meet you.”
”Nice to meet you as well.”
After that they sat in silence for a few moments until Remus opened his mouth. ”Is French you first language?”
Sirius turned towards him. ”It is.”
”Oh, well in that case I think I should warn you.” Remus chuckled quietly and raised his hand to rub his neck. ”I’m really not that good in French. I just moved here like a week or two ago so I haven’t had the chance to learn. I actually am a year older than you but they put me with the younger class in French since I need to catch up on this subject.”
Sirius raised his eyebrow. ”I see. Where did you move from?”
”From Wisconsin. This city is quite the change from the small town I used to live in.” Remus told him.
”I can believe that. Did you learn any French before moving here?” Sirius asked, starting to get genuinely interested.
”Yes, I decided to take it as an elective subject two years ago but you can’t really learn a language in two years.”
”Well, it’s good that you don’t have to start from nothing.”
”D’accord! That’s enough. Now let’s go through the first chapter.” The teacher interrupted the chatter. Everyone started to focus on the teacher but Sirius was too busy gazing out the window and trying to figure out what he was feeling.
After French Sirius had a math class before lunch. There he found Felix and Levi again and sat with them. He knew it might have looked weird, a first year sitting in a group of third years, but he had no intentions to find new acquaintances. He had met the brothers last year and they were the few people he actually was friends with in the team. While Sirius played center, Felix and Levi were a pair of defencemen. They were also loyal and kind and Sirius liked them. After lunch he had two more classes before it was time for hockey practice.
The rink wasn’t far but Levi offered him a ride since they had to carry their equipment with them. Sirius accepted the offer so after school he climbed into Levi’s car. Once they arrived they got their gear on and headed to the ice.
”Okay, boys! Settle down and gather around! I know it must have been an exciting day but you can spare the talk for home. Today we are going to do warm-ups and then some drills. After those we should play some easy games to figure out the best positions for you.” Coach called from the bench.
Sirius didn’t really like this part of the season. They had started training a few weeks ago already but it was still confusing with the new players. The team dynamic always changed with older players leaving and younger ones coming in. It always took a little while for everyone to find their places.
”Let’s start with sprints, so skate around the rink and every time you reach a blue line sprint to the other one. Questions? Ok. Go!” Coach said and glanced at his watch. The team started to skate around the rink. Some players wanted to focus on the drill like Sirius but others were chatting casually.
Levi and Felix skated up to him. ”Look at the boy coach is talking with. Do you think he is gonna join our team?”
Sirius looked over to the bench but the boy there had already started to walk away from the rink. ”I don’t know. Didn’t see him.”
”Well he had skates on and looked to be around our age.” Levi reasoned.
Just as Sirius was going to answer Coach called them over. ”Good work! Next we are going to move onto the next drill but before that I want to welcome a new player to the team. This is Remus Lupin. He just moved here from Wisconsin, so be nice.”
Sirius froze a little. He watched as Remus came from the tunnel wearing a team jersey. He nodded at Coach and said hi to the team before kicking himself onto the ice. ’Oh this is wonderful.’ ’Stop. Focus!’ Sirius shook himself out of his frozen state as Remus skated over to stand next to him. They exchanged nods with each other and turned towards coach to hear him explain the next drill they were going to do.
For the first half of practice Coach made them do drills. While waiting for his turn Sirius could try and figure Remus out. He could see that Remus definitely knew what he was doing. His movement with the puck looked natural and easy.
At the beginning of the second half Coach gathered them around himself. Then he instructed the ones that played last year to find their old lines. Sirius stayed where he was as two guys skated towards him. Grayson Lee and Fenrir Greyback. Grayson was a smart guy and player and Sirius was glad to have him on his left wing. Greyback on the other hand was completely another story. In Sirius opinion he could have easily been a part of the Black family, with how racist and homophobic he was. Sirius really hoped he wouldn’t have to play another year with him but it seemed like he’d have to. None of the new players seemed good enough to compete with Greyback yet.
After they had gathered there was still about 10 guys left. ”Alright, now let’s see what we have left. Roy, you play left wing right? Go over there. Is here any defencemen? Ok, you can be a pair. Any centers? You can go…” Coach started distributing them into lines. At the end there was one new line created and the rest had been spread around the team. ”Let’s try with this. I’ll change your lines if needed. Black and Ricard, you first.”
Sirius won the first puck and immediately realized how much he had missed playing. During the summer they had had hockey camps and a few practices but it had been mostly other forms of training. He had missed how he could just play and forget about himself for a while.
Coach shouted directions and shift changes from the bench. These matches really didn’t have any winners. It was just to see who played well with who. When Sirius wasn’t playing he was following other players. Really he was just waiting for Remus to get on ice since he was the only one who he hadn’t seen play.
Finally coach shouted for Sirius’s line to get on. At the same time the opposing line was changed with the line Remus was in. ’Well, no we’ll see how he plays.’
The puck was dropped and Sirius won it. He passed it to Felix in defence who passed it back to him. Sirius started to circle opponents when suddenly someone came next to him and stole the puck from him. He turned quickly to see the other player already skating over the centerline. ’Is that Remus?!’
”Black! What are you doing?” Greyback shouted at him from across the ice.
Sirius just ignored him as he raced to get to Remus before he got the goal. Sirius could see Remus looking around him in search for his teammates to pass the puck to and realizing that they were still in their defensive zone.
’He’ll have to try to score by himself.’ Sirius thought. Remus seemed to have come to the same realization as he skirted around the goal. Remus managed to avoid Greyback trying to slam him against the boards and flipped the puck over Plante’s right shoulder. Coach blew his whistle in a mark for a goal and Remus’s teammates, who finally got to him, slammed into him. The bench was standing and thrumming the boards approvingly.
Coach shouted over the noise. ”Alright Lupin! We gotta change this up a bit, it’s clearly not working as it should. It sure is a pity there’s no tape on you as it would make my job a lot easier. Let’s put you with the older ones.” Coach decided to try Remus in Ricard’s line. Sirius’s line jumped over the boards for a break as another one settled to face Ricard’s.
Remus could clearly play better with Ricard’s line but the dynamic still wasn’t the best match. Ricard’s shift consisted of big guys who used their sizes in advantage. Remus on the other hand wasn’t as big but was one of the fastest players Sirius had ever seen. ’I wonder if we’d play well together.’
Ricard’s team scored a goal and it was Sirius’s turn. After they had played for a few minutes Coach whistled. ”Greyback! Switch with Lupin.”
Everyone stopped. It was rather rare that the top line would be altered. Especially with a newcomer.
”But Coach! Lupin hasn-” Greyback tried before Coach cut him off. ”Stop complaining. I want to try this out.” Coach nodded at Remus who was looking between him and Greyback. He jumped onto the ice as Greyback shot him a dirty look.
Remus took his place on the right side of Sirius and the puck dropped.
At the end of practice Sirius had already gotten used to the new dynamic of his line. He actually wondered how he had coped without it. Without Greyback Sirius’s line could simply use their speed and skill in advantage. Greyback was moved to Ricard’s line, where he in Sirius’s opinion fit well. He, after all, was on the bigger side and usually liked to use his size over his skill.
Remus on the other hand had been a complete surprise to Sirius. He didn’t often encounter players who could match his level but Remus was one of them. When Sirius may have been the best in handling the puck and one of the fastest, Remus was definitely the fastest and didn’t leave far behind in puck handling either. He also played well with Lee and Sirius was sure they would be a fatal trio this season.
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Mabel is Bi Headcanon
She started questioning her sexuality sometime during her boy crazy phase
She brushed it off as her hormones acting up and all that jazz
Until she couldn't keep her eyes off of the new (female) lifeguard at the pool one day post-boy crazy phase
Mabel didn't know what to think
She was afraid to tell Dipper in fear of him judging her
I mean, she makes fun of her brother all the time, who's to say he won't use her sexuality as an opportunity to get back at her, right?
She pretended to have another boy crazy phase as an attempt to push away those feelings
The more she pushed them away, the more she realized she wasn't as fully attracted to guys as she thought
She began getting all fidgety whenever a girl was within a 10-foot radius of her
One time when she and Dipper were helping Soos out in the gift shop, a girl around their age approached Mabel asking if there was another t-shirt in her size
Mabel froze on the spot
The girl tried asking if she was okay, but Mabel turned into a babbly mess and was unable to answer
The girl grew uncomfortable and walked away
Dipper saw the whole thing
Dipper: "Haha, you acted like I normally do whenever a pretty girl talks to me.”
Mabel, internally: Oh boy...
She was afraid of what this meant
She knew everyone in Gravity Falls was very supportive
But what about back at home?
The kids at school picked on Dipper simply for having a unique birthmark
Imagine what they would do if they found out that Mabel wasn't totally straight
Mabel couldn't sleep one night due to her overthinking the possible scenarios of telling her friends and family about her dilemma
"What would Dipper say?" "What if he tells Stan?" "What if he tells Mom and Dad?" "Would they disown me?" "What would Candy and Grenda say?" "Oh god" "I can't lose Candy and Grenda, they're my people!" "And what about Waddles?!"
She became overwhelmed and realized she needed to get this off her chest
Dipper was already off the table
And she was afraid Stan would be disappointed in her
And everyone else she knew was asleep
Except for one
Ford heard his niece coming before she burst through the elevator door, breathing heavily and tears streaking down her face
He ended up holding her while he walked around the basement, telling her soothing things and stroking her hair while she tried to steady her breathing
All while saying things like "they're gonna hate me!" and "they'll think I'm a freak!"
Once Mabel calmed down, she quietly asked her great uncle "What if I'm not entirely into boys?"
Ford dreaded a question like that
It's not that he didn't want to answer, he just hasn't been in this dimension for 30 years
He didn't know how much sexuality and gender identity had evolved since the 80s, and he never found the time to do research on it since he came back
He was just worried he wouldn't be able to guide his niece
He asked Mabel to elaborate and the story came pouring out
How she began looking at girls differently, how she acted like her brother whenever he was around pretty girls, and her fears of not being accepted by her family
Ford (who was thankful that he knew enough about the subject to be able to provide Mabel with solid advice) began by saying it's perfectly natural for her to question her sexuality
This started a whole conversation of Ford and Mabel exploring her possible sexuality
Ford then explained bisexuality
"But how come I like guys so much if I'm bi? Does this mean I might actually be straight?"
"No, you just have a larger preference for guys. Bisexuality is almost never 50/50. Some people think they're straight or gay because they like one gender so much they can forget they like another one as well."
"What if people don't react well when I tell them I'm bi after making it very clear that I was straight for the past few years?"
"You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your sexuality is your business and no one else's, okay?"
"But what if I'm not actually bi? What if I really am just confused?"
"There's no rush to figure out your sexuality now. You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. And you don't have to be so quick to label yourself. When you finally find the label that suits you, you'll know."
Ford also revealed that he, too, had struggled with his sexuality before ultimately concluding that he identifies as aromantic
Mabel is not surprised whatsoever
By the end of their talk, it’s past midnight and Mabel is more relieved than she’s ever been before
Ford is honored that Mabel trusted him enough to go to him for guidance for such a personal topic
He’s also happy that he got to spend more bonding time with his niece since he typically spends most of his time with either Dipper or Stan
Ford is about to send Mabel to bed when she confesses that she’s still a bit anxious that the rest of her family won’t accept her
Ford reassures her that they will before carrying Mable to her room himself
After tucking her in and turning to leave, Mabel whispers “Thanks for letting me talk to you Grunkle Ford”
Ford smiles and kisses his great-niece goodnight
The next morning, Mabel goes straight to Ford’s room just as he’s waking up to tell him she stayed up all night thinking about the things he taught her
She thinks she’s bi and she wants to tell Dipper and Stan
Ford is beyond proud of her (although he tells her to wait a few days just in case she isn’t quite sure yet)
Mabel comes out to Dipper and Stan as bisexual a few days later
Dipper is 100% supportive of his sister
Stan needed some explaining (he knew that bisexuality was a thing, he just didn’t realize there was a fancy name for it) but her supports her nonetheless
“Eh, as long as you’re happy and the person you’re with treats you right, I don’t care who you bring home. And as long as you wait until you’re at least 30 to bring said person home.”
Mabel said no promises
Bonus:
The Pines family was at Greasy's Diner to celebrate Mabel's coming to terms with her sexuality
They were getting ready to leave when Dipper and Mabel left to use the bathroom, leaving Stan and Ford alone at their table
Stan piped up saying that it was "interesting how easy it seems to be to figure this sorta stuff out these days"
Ford agrees but is unsure where this is going
Stan continues saying how if teens are struggling with something personal, the internet (and people on the internet going through the same) is right there to help them
"Heh, too bad we didn't have those things when we were teenagers huh Sixer?"
Ford is confused and Stan is suddenly tense and awkward
He explains he's never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone
He was always interested in getting a girlfriend, but he never really intended on going beyond kissing/possibly making out
Ford's eyes lit up and he immediately exclaimed: "WE'RE BOTH ACE SPECS!"
"WE'RE BOTH A-WHATS?!"
Ford explained that there was a spectrum that included different sexualities regarding the lack of sexual/romantic attraction
(for the record, Ford took time to do more research since his conversation with Mabel so he's pretty much an expert on sexuality and gender identity now)
He asks Stan how long he's felt this way
Stan says since high school
Ford asks why he didn't tell him
Stan reveals that he assumed he wasn't done with puberty yet/he didn't want Ford to think that there's something wrong with him
He also didn't want to disappoint their father "more than he already had"
Ford says that he would've accepted him no matter what
"Besides, if Dad ever did find out, he would've been disappointed in the both of us."
"Huh?"
"Like I said before, we're both on the Ace Spectrum. Only instead of lacking sexual attraction like you, I lack romantic attraction."
"Sooo what does that make the two of us?"
"Well, by the looks of it, it seems that you're some form of asexual and I'm aromantic."
"Some form of it??"
"Well, yes. You see, asexual can serve as an umbrella term. There's also gray asexual, demisexual-"
Stan thinks he's going to have a stroke
Ford promises him that they'll look more into it tomorrow
**Please be aware that I am not bisexual/asexual/aromantic so if I got something wrong PLEASE tell me and I'll correct it**
Hope you enjoyed! (If anyone makes a short fic out of this pls be sure to tag me (I want to write one myself, but I don't think I have time))
#gravity falls#gravity falls headcanon#mabel pines#gravity falls mabel#gf#gf mabel#bi mabel#bisexual mabel#dipper pines#gf dipper#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan twins#aromantic ford#asexual stan#my works
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Ziggy as Mouse the Mighty
I struggled so so much with him on every stage until completion that's why he had to wait for last
With just Stephanie as his main positive influence while growing up Ziggy took a lot longer to get a handle on his sugar addiction. As a kid he regularly ate nothing but candy until he got sick to his stomach. Only once he started puberty his tastebuds changed a little and slowly he was able to tolerate too much sweetness less and less. He still loves to eat everything sweet but mostly things that actually can count as meals instead of just lollipops all day every day.
Here are the references i used for his design
I was so lost and absolutely clueless what to do for his design even after settling on giving him the Mouse Miraculous. So much so that i ranted about it to my mom who just said "a mouse superhero sounds really simple, just a mouse and a superhero" and, god, bless her, that just clicked for me
Why does he look most like a magical girl out of all of them? I sure can't tell you but I'm kind of loving it!
Design Notes:
Mouse Superhero - look, Ziggy is a simple guy and Superhero trash. He hears he gets to be a mouse superhero so when he transforms he gets the most cliché parts of mouse and superhero. Once that idea clicked with my mind the design itself luckily went pretty smooth
Cape - of cause he needs a cape, there will never be a Ziggy without cape that's just not an option. How fortunate that this entire outfit is magic, otherwisr the cape and the jumprope would absolutely get tangled with each other
Hair - he already has very light blond hair canonically but i think they'd be a little darker now that he's grown up a bit. With the transformation they turn light again almost like loosing a little bit of their saturation to be a little closer to the Mouse Miraculous, Mullo's colour. Also i went for the cliché hairstlye of "lol buns for ears" that is the most obvious answer for when you want to combine a human and an animal
Jumprope - I debated a lot whether he gets actual mouse ears or not but because i wanted the jumprope to kinda act like a headband i didn't think that'd be pleasant to have around actual ears. That mostly came about because i really wanted to give him that iconic superhero belt with the same symbol that's on his chest; it's the symbol for the mouse Miraculous
Miraculous Necklace - with the transformation the pendant from the necklace turns into the closure of his cape. I'm so happy how well that blended into the design
Colours - hot take incoming: Ziggy may be my least favorite out of the Lazytown kids but i still like him a lot, i just happen to like the others better. Still i can say with great confidence that his in show design is so cute and colourful and recognizable i was so so lost, like how do you combibe that with a literal grey mouse? His outfit is blue, red, yellow and white while Mullo's colours consist of grey, black and pink. I ditvhed the red for the pink, the white got replaced with a light grey, dropped black and yellow almost completely they remained for just one detail each his hair and the pendant, the blue goes well with pink so that's what i settled on. Pink, blue and grey
Reasoning:
Like i said, he was the last one i found a Miraculous for. He and Jives tied in my decision for which one of them should get the monkey or the mouse. In retrospect it shouldn't have been so hard but I'm choosing to believe that just feels this way because the choice i made fits so well.
Ziggy is a little coward in the show and even dresses up as a mouse at one point when he, Trixie and Stephanie play wild animals. He also was the smallest (not anymore) and of cause still is the youngest. It just overall fits him really well. (as funny as i found the idea to give Jives, the tallest one, the mouse miraculous)
Story:
I'll be real with you, i thought up the least story for him simply because while i was still busy struggling with his design the others were already done and started spawning stories on their own. And Ziggy, in the show and even both musicals, just fits into the plot more for worldbuilding than to actually impact the plot so finding a place for him in a whole new story is a little hard for me.
Not to say i have nothing though.
Having always been borderline obsessed with superheroes but equally so with sugary sweets Ziggy mostly just dreamt of saving the world like they do in movies. However, every Miraculous grants everyone super human strength, agility, almost completely immunity to damage and other capabilities. Getting literally handed a free ticket to badassery Ziggy quickly becomes the posterchild for what is possible with such an opportunity. Simply through the concentrated power of will and excitement and his theoretical knowledge of how to be a cool hero he excels in training despite being easily the least fit out of all of them.
Yes, the first couple times when facing danger he has the impulse to use his Miraculous to run away and hide but when push comes to shove he's always there to help his friends any way he can. He's not the best with thinking of innovative ways to use his powers but he's great at following orders and putting his trust in the others thanks to his deep rooted respect for all of his friends.
Sometimes his seemingly natural talent can create trouble though. For example Pixel gets a littlw jealous over how effortlessly Ziggy seems to beat him in any aspect of their training despite logically not being in shape for any of it. But they're friends, they can talk about things, and Pixel knows that Ziggy isn't doing any of this on purpose to show off or anything, he's really just enjoying himself and their powers come easier with confidence
It also has a few drawbacks for Ziggy though. Literally not having to work hard at all and still getting to be an absolute powerhouse does not do well for his already bad habits with junkfood and exercising. He and Jives once agreed that Ziggy gets to eat anything Jives doesn't want but in the end that just leads to both of them getting extra meals from Sportacus and Robbie to make sure they don't go overboard in either direction
Name:
God, names are so not my strength, yet i think it kind of works for Ziggy here. His name is structured differently than any other alias because when he first transformed he had to hold a short over the top inspirational speech and end with "for I will do all i can to bring peace and normality back to this town for i am Mouse the Mighty!" He's extra like that. Even as a teen he's still baby.
Wow, damn, you really read all of that! Thank you so so much for listening to all my rambling this means the world to me. Thank you
#Lazytown#miraculous ladybug#Lazytown au#Miraculous Lazybug#Revive the lazy#ziggy zweets#ziggy lazytown#Ziggy sweets#Mullo
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A Fractured Sense Of Self
About one year ago I made a post about Hawks possibly having Dependend Personality Disorder since I saw so many things in him that I saw in myself.
After several talks with my therapist however it became more and more apparent that I had been close but didn't really hit the target.
I'm not here to push a diagnosis on Hawks. He's just fictional after all and I am just someone overanalysing things and not a professional of any kind.
I'm probably gonna lay out the “symptoms” or rather.... Behaviours of Borderline Personality Disorder, see if they fit Hawks and how and then try to somehow make sense of his state of mind and how it ties in with how he acts.
Trying to make sense of whatever the hell is happening in the recent chapters.
So when my therapist said “I looked some things up and I would say his behaviour fits BPD the best.” my brain immediately went to “No that can't be. Isn't that a thing teenagers have?”
Even though I Should Know Better. Damn you, media.
Ableism is so ingrained in society even people with mental illnesses themselves aren't safe.
But anyway, this isn't an essay about me doing parkour to avoid feelings and problems this is more about HAWKS doing the same.
Part 1 So what is BPD anyway?
BPD is characterized by the following signs and symptoms:
Markedly disturbed sense of identity
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, and extreme reactions to such.
Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)
Impulsive or reckless behaviors (e.g., impulsive or uncontrollable spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation
Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships
Self-damaging behavior
Distorted self-image
Dissociation
Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage
Says Wikipedia
Let's see if and how Hawks fits these behaviour patterns.
(If you read this and suddenly realise “Oh shit I do stuff like that!” then please know you are in no way a horrible person. You did not choose any of these things. Stay safe cuz the world needs you.)
I'm intentionally leaving the Identity part for last.
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, and extreme reactions to such.
And
Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)
I'm gonna take both points on at the same time cuz they are dependend on one another and one thing causes the other.
Why did he suddenly switch from “I don't want to fight you! I want to help you!” while looking desperate and disturbed (and meaning it!) to a pretty much emotionless “I have to kill you” (and meaning that too)?
He wanted to help Twice!
He really believes that Rehabilitation is the way to go for him.
After all, Twice is a good person and good people should have no troubles in hero society, right? Only bad people are villains, right?
If Twice is a good person he should have no problems choosing Rehabilitation and come back to the hero side, right? They are friends and that's what friends do right? Friends agree with one another, right?
And then Twice declines and insults the one thing Hawks really believes in (because he never was taught anything else).
Which caused Hawks to:
Perceive Twice as an enemy instead.
Friends agree with one another and Twice does not agree which means he is not a friend which means he is an enemy and should be killed.
Hawks (probably) has never killed before and it's not the job of a hero even. Heroes should go out of their way to avoid murder and bloodshed.
So in my opinion this sudden switch from “my friend” to “enemy” is definitely fueled by Hawks own emotions. The feeling of betrayal; not only did Twice insult the hero system he also insulted Hawks himself because Hawks cannot seperate himself from the System. As far as he perceives it they are one. It is Hawks sole identity.
It is easy for us to say there are bad heroes and good villains.
Because what is Good and what is Bad can change from situation to situation and is always dependend on circumstances.
A person can both be good and bad at the same.
A person can give lots of money to charity. We would say that's a good person.
The same person can also constantly lie to people and be unreliable towards their friends.
We would say that's a bad person.
But we know it's the same person and we all do things that are good AND bad. We all do good things. And we also have done bad things.
What I wanna say is, no person is completely black or white. We are all shades of grey.
“I really love to have Joe as a friend. He's such a great listener and we have amazing talks but he really has to come clean to his girlfriend about crashing her car.”
For Hawks, this is not so easy to understand.
In his mind a person can either be good OR bad.
All villains are bad. All heroes are good.
This ties in with his own anxiety about not solving a situation in the best possible way.
Making even one mistake is not an option. Heroes are good people and good people don't make mistakes.
He was So Close to realising that Twice is a good person even though he is a villain but one of these moments cannot undo over a decade of brainwashing.
“The contradictionary truth that things or persons can be black and white, good or bad, etc At The Same Time, seems unimaginable.”
(Fragmented Selves: Temporality and Identity in Borderline Personality Disorder by Thomas Fuchs)
Impulsive behaviour
This one is either easy or hard, depending on how you look at it.
We don't know what Hawks does in his free time and if he even has anything like such.
But reckless behaviours are basically part of his job so he probably already gets his fill there.
Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation
See his reaction towards Twice.
Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships
Or rather, a complete lack of any relationship whatsoever.
He either idolises people (Endeavor) or demonises them (Twice right now).
One could argue that as of now Hawks is completely incapable or forming any sort of emotional connection. He himself says he doesn't get attached, sees it as a weakness. For me it sounds like a defense mechanism.
He Did get attached to Twice and we saw how that played out.
But Hawks getting hurt over and over is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking of someone as either completely good or completely bad does little to aid a friendship.
Endeavor’s abuse getting exposed would probably cause Hawks to go through a crisis. He idolises Endeavor. In his eyes Endeavor can do no wrong.
Normally I would say this is something that must be avoided at any cost but in Hawks case, it is probably a necessary step to help him break the lock of his golden cage.
Self-damaging behavior
“If corrupting myself is enough to put everyone at ease then I will gladly take on this job”, anyone?
Hawks sending all his feathers to Endeavor to help him anyone?
When is this bird NOT hurting himself?
There are many ways to self-harm and this is Hawks way to do it.
Isn't it convenient that nobody would question is since he's just doing his job?
Distorted self-image
Goes hand in hand with the very first point which I wanna do last, just in case it gets really really long.
Dissociation
To be honest, I couldn't find any signs of that in Hawks. If someone of you can, just correct me.
Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage
Hawks seems to vaguely know that something is going wrong in his life and he absolutely does not like his circumstances.
He wishes to be free.
When he looked at Twice and smiled and said “A cage is not where I belong” it seemed to me like he looked more pained than genuinely joking.
He mentions drinking alcohol after work so this could or could not mean anything.
Maybe he wishes he could get smashed after work?
Who knows.
But he is definitely depressed and tries to cover it with jokes. Some depressed people joke even more the worse they feel.
Seriously, his interactions with Twice seemed to be the most genuine ones, where he was/is the most vulnerable.
The jovial, easygoing, chatty Hawks is a lie. A lie he has forced himself to believe in.
A role he has to play. But he played it for so long he forgot that it is just a role in a play and not real.
Part 2 Hawks must die
Okay, that sounds really harsh. I promise it's just a metaphorical death. I'm side-eyeing Horikoshi so hard right now.
Now we will take a look at his identity, or lack of one.
Lately what I really was reminded of was this “Inner child” thing.
We only caught glimpses of Hawks as a literal child. He probably grew up in an unstable home. Probably had no one really looking after him, why else would such a young child roam around the city alone so freely that it has the chance to help in a car crash?
He didn't look much older than 6 or 8.
The Hero Commission discovered him and took him in and “provided for his entire family”.
What happened was that he was apparently completely removed from his family and was put into a clinical environment, cold, not suited for children at all, hell probably barely suited for any human being.
Hawks remembers that even as a child he was taught interrogation techniques. Espionage.
From a very young age he was taught to leave himself behind. To mold himself into whatever he needs to be to complete the mission. To be a chameleon. A mirror. Just a reflection of what others expect him to be.
He has to be A so he becomes A. He has to be B now so he ignores he ever was A and is B now.
He has to be Hawks so Takami Keigo becomes Hawks and leaves himself behind.
The last time he was Takami Keigo was when he was a child.
Change is a normal part in humans. It's very important during puberty. That's why teenagers experiment with it so much.
“Oh, it's just a phase” sneer the adults when the teen wears only black and say thats the “Real me”. In a few months the same teen probably tries something else.
That's a good and normal thing. Even as adults we are constantly changing and adapting.
But we never forget the person we once were. We stay connected to it, maybe remember it fondly and think of the friends we found that way.
Or sometimes we look back and cringe because “Wow, my parents really let me go outside like this?”
It forms one fluent narrative. All these changes are still us. We know that we are the same person as we were last year even if last year's us was completely different from today's us.
Hawks doesn't have this continuity.
He became Hawks and wasn't allowed any further change and he also wasn't allowed to be Takami Keigo at the same time. He is a tool to be used.
Takami Keigo is a frightened child. A child that made a decision and thought he did well and now this decision is his downfall.
Takami Keigo was never allowed to grow up. He was pushed away, so he can be Hawks instead, probably as an attempt to gain approval, to be praised, to be liked.
Hawks is an amazing actor, likeable, chatty, funny and witty, very competent at his job and smart.
Takami Keigo is a scared child.
If Hawks stops being Hawks there is nothing he can go back to.
Normally people with Borderline ofc also go through “phases” as everyone else does but instead of putting them all into a single narrative and file them all away under “That's me” every phase is it's own seperate story.
All energy is put into one “phase” as much as neurotypicals do but once this phase is over there is nothing that comes after it. When people without Borderline change “phases” we know a “home” we can revert to while we change. Our Self still exists in us wether we are currently obsessing about Ballett or Comics or Dinosaurs or Architecture or whatever.
For someone like Hawks theres either Ballet or comics or dinosaurs or whatever. No neutral spot. You are either the person who puts all their energy into becoming an archaeologist or you're nothing. Being something gives you a goal to work towards to. It tells you who to talk to, what to talk about, what to do in your free time etc.
Hawks being Hawks gives him a goal, a worldview, things to believe in, topics to talk about, a job, people to talk to, opinions to have etc. It gives him an identity, ready-made and easy to consume.
He cannot be anything else but Hawks. He is nothing beyond that.
Takami Keigo plays Hawks, they are not one and the same person.
He is Hawks but Hawks isn't Takami Keigo.
Takami Keigo holds no opinion of his own, no worldview, no goal, no hobbies, nothing.
Hawks has to die so Takami Keigo can heal. So the frightened child can finally grow up.
#hawks#here have 2.2k of word vomit#this probably doesnt make any sense.....#keigo needs therapy urgently#like... pls....#a friendship with Twice would be So Good because Twice is such an empathetic person#but thats a topic for another word vomit#that probably someone else should write#as i am not exactly competent at this#too emotional#i have emotions too big for my body disease#its kinda hard to see that the person who seems the most stable#is actually the one whos the least stable#i think most of us severly understimated his state of mind
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N7 Challenge - 14 (Military)
Summary: Alistair Shepard isn’t the military type. So... why’d he enlist in the Alliance anyway?
---
“Shepard... mind if I ask a question?”
Normally, questions like that made Alistair's skin crawl. However, he was currently bent over the Mako and trying to get it to work so all his thought process was focused on that. It didn't really register who or what was asking him a question until he backed up to evaluate his progress.
Then he realized it was the Normandy's only turian.
“Oh, hey Garrus.” He glanced back at the panel – still loading for twenty more minutes. That meant he had time to catch his breath after the nightmare that was Noveria. Hours later, and he still felt freezing as he pried frozen rocks out of the treads. At least any ice had long since melted.
A quick glance told him that the turian's body language registered as curious. So, that probably knocked out tactical or mission questions. If he had to guess, Garrus was about to ask something personal. For a turian, that was... odd. Definitely against the manual of interacting with someone in authority. So whatever it was, it had to be important.
He could play ball.
The turian looked around the empty room before he spoke. Then his mandibles twitched – a classic sign of turian nerves acting against him. He was curious, but uncomfortable about asking this. So it was probably important enough that Alistair backed away from the console and let it keep working.
Man, he was glad he took that turian body language course back in basic. It was saving his ass now for sure.
“What's up?”
Garrus's mandibles twitched again. “Just... you're not really the military type, are you?”
Alistair blinked at that. “Uh... I'm going to have to ask for some clarification there. What do you mean?”
Now the turian in front of him really looked uncomfortable. Had he been annoyed, the Spectre would have enjoyed it. But mostly he was just tired and cold, and he wanted to get this conversation over with so he could get back to work. His bed was calling his name, and he needed to answer it as soon as possible if wanted to stave off the post biotic headache that was currently looming behind both his eyes.
Biotics – they got you coming an going. At least he wasn't an L2 though. Man, it sucked to be Kaidan.
“Well... you're not...” Garrus mulled over his words. “Aggressive. Forward? When people look at you they don't seem to think you're a threat, even in armor.”
Yeah, that happened when you were under 5'5” and didn't really carry much muscle. Hooray for being the medic.
He held up his talons quickly though. “No offense, by the way. Just pointing out something I noticed while we were on Noveria. You don't really have a military presence about you.”
Alistair resisted an eye roll as he glanced back at the panel – 15 minutes now. “Yeah, I know. It's because I'm small and all lean muscle. Still managed to get to the end of N7 though, so I don't see why that's a problem.”
Ok, maybe there had been a bit of edge to his voice there. But could you blame him? This wasn't the first time he had ever had this conversation with someone, and no doubt it wouldn't be the last. He was pretty sure people would start adding Spectre to the 'shit people didn't thin he was' list. It was getting kind of long.
But whatever, welcome to his life.
“I didn't mean anything by it... you just don't seem the type.” Garrus' mandibles twitched as he shrank back a little. “Why'd you join anyway? Is it a Shepard family thing?”
Despite his annoyance, Alistair let out a quick and bitter chuckle as he typed something into the mainframe. “No, I'm the first in the family and hopefully the last.”
Then he turned around, tapping the spot where his head met his neck. Though he couldn't see it, he could feel the metal embedded into his neck. Right then, it was warmer than usual. It wasn't quite overheating yet, but it got close.
“I joined because my brain was going to explode if I didn't.”
Then he went back to the panel, typing out commands as he tried to ignore the turian all but standing over his shoulder. An awkward tension filled the room, probably because neither really knew what to say. Garrus probably felt guilty... and he didn't like talking about this.
Almost a decade later, and he was still annoyed.
“Your brain?” Garrus's head cocked to the side briefly. “I thought if you got past infancy, the rate of cancer-”
Alistair shrugged his shoulders as he gave up on the console for the moment. “It does. My problem was that my biotics are so strong they were overheating my brain without an amp.”
He smiled bitterly as he rubbed the port. “Most humans get their implants at puberty to help jump start more serious training. I should've gotten mine at 14, but... well, let's just say I didn't get that chance. I probably would have been part of the L2's if they had gotten to me in time.”
Instead, he had been whisked off Mindoir as the batarians rounded everyone up. A few years in foster care, then aging out... his teen years had mostly been a jumble of headaches and missing memories that came from his brain overheating. Or at least that's what the doctors told him from ages 14 to almost 20 when he went to them.
Then his brain had almost fried at 20.
“So... when did you get yours?”
The Spectre still had his hand on his amp as he spoke. “20, when I enlisted. I think I set a record for oldest person to get one and not have permanent brain damage. Pretty sure I'm in a couple medical text books under patient X or something.”
Not that he had ever gotten the chance to read one. He'd wanted to – med school had been in his goal plan once he finished community college and transferred to a four year school – but the military had made that goal a distant dream. He still thought about it sometimes, but with how things were going he'd probably be in for life.
It wasn't how he'd seen his life going, but that's how it was.
At any rate, Alistair shrugged and let his hand drop from the cooling amp. “I only joined because the Alliance had the tech to keep me from dying from brain overheat. I was only going to stay for my enlistment, but then the Blitz happened and Akuze wasn't long after. Before I knew it, here I am at N7 and suddenly I'm a Spectre.”
So, for a guy who didn't seem the military type... he was ass deep in the military. Maybe that was to his credit. Either that, or the universe didn't want him to settle down and go to med school. Was there some future where he was like Doctor Death or something that it was trying to prevent?
Could've done that without the Reapers, you know. He would've accepted not getting into med school well enough.
At least Garrus nodded at that. “Sort of all just hit you at once.”
“Yeah. Besides, couldn't leave Bo in by herself. We work too well together to split up.”
The meter on the Mako beeped to let him know he had five minutes left until he could finish up. With any luck, he would be able to do so in silence. After having to talk about a past he wasn't too happy about, Alistair wasn't feeling too cordial as he continued to type data in.
Bitter? Absolutely.
Unfortunately for him, Garrus didn't leave. Instead, he just stood there, his body language screaming he wasn't sure what to do next. In animal species, they might wash their face or dig a hole. In turians, their mandibles twitched and their talons flexed. He was making a show of both at the moment, all he needed was the teeth grinding.
Not that Alistair wanted to hear that. Recordings of it were nasty enough.
So he worked in silence, finishing up the Mako repairs. After he pulled a few more rocks out of the treads, the timer beeped to let him now he could shut the diagnostic off. Its details were already streaming into his omni-tool; he could analyze them later at his desk, away from everyone else in the quiet of his room.
“Well... guess that's it for me. If you need to fix-”
“I'm sorry I said anything. You are a military type.”
Alistair blinked as he looked up at the turian in front or him. “Quite the change of heart you've got going on there, Garrus.”
He watched as his mandibles flared out a little – classic signs of embarrassment. Well, at least they were getting somewhere. Honestly, he was feeling a little bit in the same way. He just hid it by running away instead of staying there like an idiot.
Amazing the coping strategies between their species.
The turian cleared his throat as he glanced away. “Sense of responsibility, I guess. Should've seen it sooner.”
“Some might call that idiocy.” He allowed a brief smile. “Thanks, I guess. I don't mind not being seen as a military type, mind you. It makes getting people to agree to things without having to shoot them a lot easier.”
Which was good, because he had terrible vision and barely massed marksmanship in basic. Now that he was down an eye... well, he was glad diplomacy worked much better for him than shooting. Maybe that was why he had survived in N7.
At least that made the turian relax. “You have a point there. I think I probably would have been more annoyed if someone the other Shepard's size bumped into me in the Presidium.”
“Garrus, if Bo had bumped into you, you'd have been flat on your carapace and probably dealing with a concussion.”
He would know – he had seen enough of it.
At least that got his companion chuckling, which wasn't a bad sound. It was kind of chicken like, but not in an awful way. Honestly, it was something almost soothing to his grated nerves. Maybe this was his reward for sitting through the conversation.
Wasn't totally worth it, but it was nice.
“Yeah, that's probably true.” He stopped chuckling. “Anyway... looks like I should get out of the way so you can get back to work.”
Alistair nodded as he started to walk. “Nice talking to you, Garrus. If there's anything else wrong with the Mako, let me know. You know I have these nice, non-military sized wrists that are good at fitting into things.”
“Never going to let me live that one down, are you, Shepard?” Still, there was that chuckle again. “Right, talk to you later.”
Something about it felt good as Alistair left the area to head back to his quarters, wrist full of data. If he thought about it, it was the first decent conversation the two of them had ever had. Maybe they should have more of those.
Though... he could do without the 20 awkward questions next time. Some things he just liked to keep to himself.
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You Can Never Run Fast Enough
It had been a few weeks since escaping the lion’s den. Literally and figuratively. And all Henry wanted to do was forget about Charlotte. But that was almost impossible because his best friend was always around. He hadn’t noticed how intertwined their lives were until he wanted to escape her. They walked to school together, they had classes together, they ate lunch together, they worked together, they walked home together.
It was never a problem until it was. Now it was a BIG problem. Henry wanted some time alone to process his emotions and decide if what he was starting to feel was genuine. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Well he needed some absence and quick. Because all of this time around Charlotte was not helping his confused heart. Every interaction seemed forced and weird. Or maybe it was all in his head, he couldn’t tell. It was as if the world had been flipped on its axis but he was the only one that felt upside down. Everyone else was just living their life the same way they had been but to Henry it was like everything had changed.
As a last-ditch effort to get time away from Charlotte and some much need help with classes, he signed up for peer tutoring in every subject available. Being constantly distracted by his beautiful friend unsurprisingly meant that Henry wasn’t exactly thriving when it came to school. Tutoring would give him two hours alone everyday, well alone with the tutor, before he had to go to Junk N’ Stuff.
He had talked to Ray and told him that his grades were slipping and that he was going to start staying after school for help. At first the older man blew him off, saying that “School was for suckers” and to report to work as normal. That was until Henry explained that if he failed any classes his parents would make him quit. Ray’s tune switched immediately and he agreed to the change in routine.
On the first day of tutoring he was at his locker putting his books into his backpack when Charlotte and Jasper walked up to him.
“Hey dude, ready to go?” Jasper asked.
“Actually... I’m staying behind today.” Henry replied.
“Why?” Charlotte asks.
“Peer assistance” Henry says.
“That’s cool Hen. We’ll just catch you tomorrow then” Jasper responds.
“Actually...I have tutoring after school every day from now on” said Henry.
A confused look crosses Charlotte’s pretty face. “Why didn’t you just ask me to tutor you? You know I have the highest GPA in our grade.”
Henry starts stammering nervously. Of course he would have asked Charlotte under normal circumstances. But these were not those and he couldn’t just say, ‘I think I have massive crush on you but I’m not 100% sure so I’m trying to get away from you for a second.’ Yeah that would go over great. Not.
“B-because I didn’t think you would want to. I learn kind of slowly and it can be annoying. I didn’t want to bother you” Henry replied.
“We all process in our own ways Hen” said Jasper while placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezing lightly.
“And I would never judge you for how your mind works. Plus I already know how you absorb information Henry, we’ve studied together for years. You’re mostly an auditory processor with emphasis on personal repetition for understanding” Charlotte countered.
Having no other reason to give besides the fact that he was running away from his feelings for her, Henry glances at his Wiz Watch and exclaims “Would you look at the time? I’m about to be tardy for tutoring. See you guys later!”
Looking at each other confused, Charlotte and Jasper decided to shrug off their friend’s weird behavior and made their way to work.
A few more weeks had passed with this new schedule. While the tutoring after school had succeeded in separating Henry from Charlotte for a short time everyday, it hadn’t separated Henry from his thoughts about her. But instead of confronting his feelings head on, Henry suppressed them. He attributed these newfound emotions to hormones. He didn’t want to date his bestie, he just finally noticed how gorgeous she was. Yeah that was it, it was only puberty playing tricks on him. Even though he had gone through puberty years ago, Henry reasoned that he must be having a second round. That happened, right?
Truly, he was just afraid to throw another wrench into their friendship after navigating the recent dream fiasco. They had both agreed that their subconsciouses were whack and that they didn’t like each other that way. So what was Henry doing liking her that way? Each time he interacted with Charlotte, his heart rate increased and his palms started sweating. Whenever she touched him, goosebumps erupted on his arms and his mouth went dry. Henry couldn’t control his body’s reaction to her presence and it was starting to get on his nerves. However, Henry was getting better at ACTING as if everything was normal.
One day at lunch it was just Henry and Charlotte at their table. Jasper had started a club for him and his fellow “Bucketeers” that met during lunch on Fridays which today was. They had already eaten and discarded their trash a few minutes prior.
Charlotte was telling Henry about the upcoming dance and what kind of dress she was thinking about designing for the occasion. Henry started to zone out when she went off on a tangent about patterns and fabrics. He was staring intensely at her moving lips when he noticed an approaching figure behind her.
A guy that Henry hadn’t seen before walked up to Charlotte quietly and placed both his hands over her eyes. She jumped in surprise at the sudden contact, then the stranger leaned down and whispered into her right ear.
“Guess who?” He questioned in a deep timbre.
“Clark Kent?” Charlotte responded with a giggle, obviously recognizing their voice.
“You wish sweetheart” the guy said and sat next to Charlotte. The dude was tall, but not taller than him Henry noted. He had black hair and brown eyes. He looked similar to Taylor Lautner from Twilight. He proceeded to wrap his arm around Charlotte’s waist causally. Watching this whole interaction with wide eyes, raised brows and a pit forming in his stomach, Henry struggled to reign in his jealousy. Who is this guy? And why is he touching my Charlotte?
“Who are you?” Henry asks the mystery man with a little more malice in his tone than necessary.
“Oh! Henry, this is my friend Jacob. Jacob, Henry.” Charlotte said easily.
“Sup man.” Jacob addresses Henry with a head nod and barely a glance in his direction before looking back down at Charlotte.
“So are you still coming over tonight?” Jacob inquires.
“Yeah I’ll be over right after sch-“
“So how did you two meet?” Henry interrupts her statement loudly.
“We have chemistry together” Char explained.
“That we do” Jacob said with a smirk.
Charlotte giggles again and slaps his arm. “You’re so dumb” she tells him.
“Only for you” he replies in a soft tone of voice while staring her in the eyes.
What is happening?! Henry questions himself. He did not like whatever this display was AT ALL. And what was with all the giggling? Charlotte does NOT giggle.
She clears her throat and finally breaks their eye contact. “Like I was trying to say earlier, I’ll come over again before work today.”
Again? How many times had she been over?
“Cool, can’t wait. Text me” Jacob responds while standing up from the lunch table. He smirked at Henry before sauntering away.
Henry glares at Jacob’s retreating back before turning back to his friend.
Charlotte sighs and bites her lip to hold back a smile.
“What was that?” Henry asks impatiently.
“Hm? What was what?”
“The whole exchange. The giggling, the touching, the eye contact? Do you like this guy?”
“I’m not sure yet. He’s attractive and smart but right now it’s just harmless flirting. Why?”
“Uh...no reason. I hadn’t heard anything about him then suddenly he’s all in your face.”
“I thought I did tell you about him? Oh you know what? I told Jasper. Yeah, when we were walking to work the other day. Guess I just forgot to mention it to you.”
“Huh. So why do you need to go to this guy’s house? Multiple times?” Henry asked.
“We had an experiment in class and we’ve been working on the lab report together.”
“Interesting. When do you think that’ll be done?”
“Probably tonight? Why does it matter?”
“Just curious.”
“Oooookkkk” Charlotte says while giving her friend a puzzled look.
The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and both teens stood up.
“I have Chemistry now so I’ll catch up with you later” Charlotte said, turning in the direction of her next class.
Henry grabbed her hand before she could walk away. Tingles radiated through his palm from the simple touch. He pulled her gently to him before hugging her tightly. It took Charlotte a second but then she returned the affection. A feeling of contentment washed over Henry as he held her in his arms for a few seconds longer than normal. “See you at work Char” Henry whispered to her, lips brushing the shell of ear with every word.
A small shiver ran through Charlotte at the contact. Since they were still hugging, Henry felt this and pulled back to look at her. His hands were now wrapped around her hips instead of her waist. Henry’s thumbs involuntarily started rubbing small circles on the exposed sliver of skin where her shirt had ridden up. This caused Charlotte to shiver lightly again.
“Are you cold?” Henry questioned.
Stepping out of his arms Charlotte shook her head “No I’m fine, don’t worry about it”.
But her tall friend was already shrugging out of his jacket and placing it on her shoulders. He adjusted the front and smiled satisfied. “There. Now you’ll be covered if you get cold later. I better get going, my English course is on the other side of campus.”
“Alright, see ya.” Charlotte responded.
“You look good in my clothes Page” Henry stated while scanning her body up and down slowly. Before she could respond, he threw up a quick wave and walked away.
As he was making his way to class Henry wondered how that Jacob dude was going to respond to Char wearing his jacket. He’ll definitely recognize that it’s mine since he just saw me wearing it. That’ll show him not to mess with my girl. Henry realized that if he didn’t make a move soon, he could loose Charlotte to that Teen Wolf reject. It was time to accept that he liked her as way more than a friend.
Game on.
#henry danger#chenry#charlotte page#henry hart#charlotte bolton#kid danger#ray manchester#jasper dunlop#riele downs#jace norman
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