#just not today I guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lavender-femme · 1 year

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someday i won’t have to cry myself to sleep. someday i’ll feel warm and loved and wanted and i’ll be wrapped up safely in my beloved’s arms and there won’t be anything worth worrying over. someday i’ll be loved. someday i’ll be seen.

#just not today I guess #god I’m tired and I’m sad and annoyed and idk I just wish holidays didn’t give me this awful melancholy mood #i miss magic… any level of it #but most of all I miss connection and having people to spend the day with #I’m working (in 5.5 hours 🙄) because it’s giving me something to do #otherwise what is there?#i’m no longer welcome at the place I used to spend the holidays #thanks to a former best friend who fucking ruined that four years ago now #this year I thought I’d be building my own new traditions with [redacted] in New Jersey #but here I am #working because I can’t stand to not do SOMETHING #guess I’ll take myself to a movie or something #maybe just embrace it all and sleep until evening when I get to finally see my friends #(sibling of that former best friend… bc again. not welcome there so we have to wait)#idk y’all #I’m just feeling incredibly unloved today #unloved unwanted etc etc #and I fucking hate it #also if you’ve gotten this far please just send love #and know I appreciate you so much #I’m talking #broken petals

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this-doesnt-endd · 24 days

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Paying the price for thinking coffee can be a meal

#sometimes it can be for me personally #just not today i guess

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time-woods · 8 months

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do you think theyll ever be able to escape that cycle of sadness ? or will they be forever stuck in the madness, together ?

they really are bound to that sadness madness

#simon petrikov #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time #adventure time spoilers #im so excited for the new episode today #guess whos staying up just to watch it #this deranged fellow #also realized ive never drawn betty before so i had to change that

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occudo · 2 months

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Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Jo-on.

Happy birthday to you. 🎵

#and for me I guess #birthday post #occudo's art #tma fanart #jonathan sims #tma 161 #i actually feel good today #just wasn't when I made this

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tarriecat · 2 months

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I would like a button to press that says "I am already part of Marginalized Community X and active in Political Issue Y, please do not show me all the posts about horrible things happening to people like me and my loved ones that are directed at Dominant Group A to raise awareness, because I have already cried about Horrible Thing Z twice today, I do not need to be more aware."

That probably wouldn't fit on a button, huh.

#i guess the button is the timer on my phone that limits how much i open instagram today #just sucks that i also have to give up the cat photos and sewing inspiration

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theloveinc · 20 days

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mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing

#why was i looking this up on images and ninja mutant turtle inc*st was like the fourth image??? ummmmm ok #anyway it's still happening i just dont like thinking abt what it looks like from far away #i prefer it when its not so......... x shaped? i guess #i like it better when it's more... ankles by ears man is kneeling #IM JUST SAYING #ive gravitated back to my weird toji + kids au lmaooo #cuz i made a cake today and it got me thinking abt it #when will i write something of substance please #caitie blabs

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inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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platyroonism · 2 months

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also this

#sans #toriel #undertale #ermm... soriel i guess #today's just a sans typea day i guess #plart

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bluevelvetea · 2 months

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So start by saving me, Itadori.

(Find my reference here)

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altschmerzes · 2 years

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gen fic appreciation post. i love you gen fic. i love you serious, plot-heavy gen fic. i love you funny, lighthearted gen fic. i love you angsty whump and h/c gen fic. i love you emotionally complex and intimate gen fic. i love you super long chaptered gen fic. i love you oneshot gen fic. i love you strictly canon adherent gen fic. i love you alternate universe gen fic. i love you crossover gen fic. i love you gen fic about queer identity and relationships. i love you found family gen fic. i love you gen fic.

(edited to add: by ‘gen fic’ this post is NOT referring to rating. it is referring to fic that is not about and does not prominently feature romance, regardless of rating.)

#gav gab #thinking abt the way people talk about gen fic today #and it's often so....... reductive even when they're trying to be complimentary #'gen fic often has so much more PLOT and REAL CONCRETE EVENTS' like sure i guess sometimes #but heavily emotional character relationship based gen fic also exists and deserves attention #it just feels like a reflection of the way people talk about aro people having 'so much more time to get things done' without romance yknow #anyways. gen fic is so many things and i love it.

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freckled-paints · 11 months

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ITS SPIDER MAN!!! LOOK ITS SPIDER MAN!!

click for better quality!!

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frownyalfred · 1 year

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Bruce trains with the League of Shadows, grows close with Talia and Ra’s, but — eventually — spurns their movement to return to Gotham and pursue his mission.

Years later, he shows up in the middle of the night at Talia’s door. There’s a body in his arms, wrapped in bloodstained sheets.

“The Pit,” he whispers, trembling, “is it true?”

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turtleblogatlast · 2 months

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[ cw: injury mention / jokes about death / ]

Love when people depict Leo like-

Leo, covered in grievous wounds and having several broken bones: Ew, Staten Island? Anyway lmao that sucked-

Leo, with a paper cut: My LIFE is OVER I am SUFFERING I am DYING I leave all my comics to Mikey, Raph gets my posters and figurines, April can have everything else in my room, I guess Dad can have my swords, Donnie you get NOTHING until you admit I was RIGHT back when-

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #100% Leo was the type to be like I can’t come to training I broke a nail #nah I can’t exercise today I stubbed my toe #what do you mean I can’t go out it’s JUST a flesh wound (said flesh wound is still actively bleeding)#*eight thousand puns about the terrible injuries he has just completely downplaying them*#guess a shell’s not all it’s cracked up to be! (he says with a cracked shell)#it’s CANON it is

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yubriamakesart · 8 days

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Shortly after uploading this I saw a post where someone mentioned how Mr. Qi is canonically a creepypasta character now. And like. Surely. If you've read my webcomic. You know I can't resist that.

#sdv fanart #mr qi #mr qi sdv #stardew valley #flash warning #i guess? just to be safe #i am SO rusty at animating in csp this took ages to do #maybe its just that i never really learned animating programs but it feels very unintuitive #that being said this was a lot of fun #i have such a soft spot for video game creepypastas #love them when they're good and love them when they're bad #fanart #maybe now i can actually play stardew today

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hychlorions · 4 months

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What if I told you that I've fallen?

[ID: Art of Susato Mikotoba and Haori Murasame/Rei Membami, done on a stylized background of swirling cherry blossom petals. Haori is falling backward, pulling Susato with her, so close that their noses are touching. Haori closes her eyes as she pulls off Susato’s cap, while Susato — still dressed as Ryutaro Naruhodo — looks down at her with eyes wide. The background is suffused with the faint colors of the lesbian flag. End ID]

#susahao #susarei #susato mikotoba #haori murasame #rei membami #dgs #tgaa #dgs2 spoilers #<- i guess !#.png #me: ok we've done our fill of comms for today let's do something quick and easy (doesn't do that)#this is a nightmare to tag actually. why does she have two names #also here's to hoping external links don't get hidden on here anymore i've been living with that fear since 2019 #do i think that song fits them. i'm not sure. it's just stuck in my head and i don't wanna use kiss kiss fall in love

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hajihiko · 7 months

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Soft 💝

#Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Hajime hinata #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Kuzuhina #An art #I'm on some BL shit today I guess #So weird drawing him with 2 eyes...#Anyway Just School Friends AU #Early Friday fluff whee

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