#kind of worried because i first tried to do this with the tarantula in its enclosure

[par-vollen]

I'm kind of horrified right now. I found these 2 live mealworms in one of my tarantula slings enclosure. I had given my 1(ish) inch sling a live cricket last night. It was my first time giving it live prey (or so I thought) and I wanted to make sure the tarantula ate it. If you don't know tarantulas are very vulnerable when they molt and be killed by their prey if there is any in their enclosure when they molt so you don't leave any live prey with them for over a day. I couldn't see the cricket but I just had a bad feeling so I removed the cork bark just to be sure and a live mealworm came out with it. I always kill the mealworms before giving them to my tarantulas by crushing their heads. Apparently this one survived the head crushing and even molted in the enclosure. I went to put the cork back in but luckily saw the substrate move and there was another even bigger mealworm. I ended up removing all the substrate to ensure there were no more mealworms. Now when I feed mealworms I'm just going to cut the heads off. The cricket was gone tho so maybe this little baby prefers them anyway and I should stick with those.

#tarantula #mealworm #mealworms #worm #kind of worried because i first tried to do this with the tarantula in its enclosure #before i found the worms #and bumped the lil guy with the cork i hope i didnt hurt it #it looks close to molting so its delicate right now #but it also look that way bc it was kicking hairs at me #it had such luscious looking hair before now

[mst3kproject]

The Monster Maker

I could have sworn J. Carroll Naish was on MST3K at some point but the only thing I can find from his filmography that has appeared on this blog is Dracula vs Frankenstein, in which he played Dr. D'Ray.  Not that it matters.  The Monster Maker's producer, Sigmund Neufeld, also brought us MST3K feature The Mad Monster, and writer Sam Newfield penned both that film and I Accuse my Parents (not to mention the world's only all-midget cowboy musical, Terror of Tiny Town), but mostly I'm watching this movie because... well, you know, it sucks.

I know what you're thinking, and as far as I can tell, no, Sigmund Neufeld and Sam Newfield are not the same guy who's just bad at pseudonyms.

Anthony Lawrence is one of the world's greatest pianists, but with a concert tour finished he's looking forward to relaxing and spending some time with his daughter Patricia and her fiance Bob.  Sadly, this is not to be, as Patricia has come to the attention of Dr. Igor Markov, who believes her to be the reincarnation of his dead wife Leonora.  He spends weeks harassing poor Pat, until her father storms over to Markov's office to tell him where he can shove his attentions. Little does Lawrence know he's walking into a trap.  Markov has been experimenting on animals in his basement, and if Lawrence doesn't hand over Patricia, the next syringe is for him!

I have mixed feelings about this movie.  It surprisingly subverts several tropes of the mad scientist movie, including some it deliberately sets up only to pull the rug out from under them, resulting in a surprisingly happy ending.  On the other hand, it does this in ways that aren't always very satisfying, and its treatment of the disabled is frightful.

For an illustrative example, let's take Dr. Markov's caged gorilla.  The movie never tells us why he has a caged gorilla.  He says it's vital to his work but we never see him do anything much with it... I assume it's there because the caged gorilla was a standard part of the mad scientist lab equipment in the 1940s and 50s.  The only time we see him interact with it is when he sets it loose in the middle of the night to murder his traitorous assistant, Maxine, who had threatened to go to the police.  We cut to the gorilla back in its cage the next morning, and we assume Maxine is dead – only to have her walk in and tell us that her protective dog drove the gorilla back to the lab.

This is kind of a fun moment, not only because it's a surprise but because everything in it was set up, not just the gorilla but the animosity between it and the dog.  It also enables the eventual happy ending – after Markov is killed, Patricia worries that nobody else will be able to help her father. However, Maxine is familiar with Markov's work, and assures her that Lawrence will be just fine with a few weeks of treatment.  That's all quite nice for a mad scientist movie of this vintage!  It's also interesting in that it tells us these tropes were around to be subverted – that audiences in 1944 had already seen enough stupid mad scientist movies to know that the gorilla is supposed to kill the traitorous assistant and that the ending is supposed to be a tragedy.

The problem is that this leaves the gorilla with no reason to be in the movie at all besides to fake us out.  It ultimately has no effect on the plot whatsoever other than to establish Markov as a bastard, which by now we already knew.  You cannot put Chekov's Gorilla in a cage in act one, wave it around in act two before putting it back with a 'psych!', and then not have it break somebody's neck in act three.  It still has to do something, or you're just being a tease.

The fact that Maxine is able to cure Lawrence speaks to the fact that The Monster Maker is surprisingly respectful of its women.  Maxine is quite intelligent and knows her love for Markov is self-destructive, but feels she has devoted too much of her life to him to leave him now.  Patricia is a less substantial character, but her father treats her with great respect – when Markov demands Patricia in exchange for a cure, Lawrence continues to refuse even after the mad doctor has robbed him of his friends, his passion, and his career.  Pat's fiance Bob has fewer principles, as he repeatedly lies to her in the belief that he is protecting her from the truth, but this too is presented as the wrong thing to do and I hope we're meant to believe Bob learns from it. The screenwriters' general attitude seems to be that women should be allowed to make up their own minds about things.

Markov, as the villain, is also the movie's misogynist, and this is in no way subtle.  He wants to marry Patricia because she resembles Leonora – and that's it.  Her personality, her background, and her wishes mean nothing to him.  All he cares about is her face.  What she represents to him is an attempt to undo the wrong he did to Leonora herself.  We eventually learn that Leonora left him for another man, and in revenge he injected her with his monster juice.  He had hoped that her new love would leave her because she was no longer beautiful, but in fact Leonora committed suicide because she couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror.

This tends to make one wonder what would have happened if Leonora had tried to crawl back to Markov.  At the time this happened, he didn't yet have a cure for his creations.  Would he have gone on to find one sooner in order to help her?  Or would he, too, have rejected her now that she was ugly?  I kind of suspect the latter.  He's only sorry about any of this because she died.  He wanted her back less than he wanted her to live in misery, knowing that without her looks she would have no value.

Interestingly, this also applies somewhat to Lawrence.  As his condition progresses, he locks himself in his room and puts records on so that nobody will realize he is now unable to play the piano... but he also keeps the lights off and refuses to admit anybody, too ashamed to show his face.  Ugliness apparently makes both sexes unfit company for the rest of us.

Markov himself speaks with a German accent despite having a Russian name. He manages to be slightly less creepy than the Great Vorelli or Dr. Carlo Lombardi, but only because he never resorts to rape via hypnosis.  Upon realizing he has found a cure for a terrible disease, his first reaction is to triumphantly declare that he can charge whatever he wants for it... eighty years later, that's still depressingly relevant.

So all this is okay and at times fairly progressive for the 1940s, but now we have to get into The Monster Maker's attitude towards the disabled.  I've been a little cagey about exactly what it is Dr. Markov is doing to his victims, and you've probably been picturing some sort of mutagen that makes them go all lumpy and melty like that guy in Robocop. Unfortunately, no.  Remember acromegaly, the hormonal disorder that Richard Kiel and Rondo Hatton suffered from?  Yeah.  Markov has a bottle of it in his cupboard.

I don't know how you bottle acromegaly, but at least they did better than the people who made Tarantula and fucking spelled it right.

Acromegaly is not a cheerful diagnosis.  Lawrence's doctor tells him it's not fatal, but that isn't always true – a lot of sufferers, including Hatton, die from the complications.  It disfigures the head, hands, and feet, and would definitely be a devastating disease for a pianist... all of which makes it that much worse that this stupid movie keeps using the word 'monster'.  Lawrence even describes himself as such, comparing his situation to that of Frankenstein's Monster and declaring that he will similarly kill Markov for what he has done to him.  In the end he does exactly that, and the movie never addresses it on any level besides 'boy, good thing the bad guy is dead!'

This is probably because, clearly, the real monster Markov has made is himself... but that's subtext.  In the text, his monsters are his overgrown pigs and Anthony Lawrence.  I just blasted Tarantula for spelling the name of the condition incorrectly, but that movie at least did not even imply that its human acromegaliacs were 'monsters'.  They were in every way victims, even when their sufferings were as a result of experimenting on themselves.  Lawrence is also a victim, but the movie plays up the 'monster' idea in more than just the title: Lawrence's condition also makes him restless and prone to violence, as he repeatedly attacks Markov and at one point must be tied to a bed to prevent him doing so.  Markov suggests that this is a side effect of the hormonal problems, but Lawrence's own belief that he's becoming a 'monster' also appears to have something to do with it.

In the end, this movie is way too much like The Brute Man, in telling us that the ugly and disabled can never be an accepted part of society.  Hal Moffat was forced into the shadows, while Anthony Lawrence takes to them voluntarily, but for the same reason: ugliness is made for gawking at, not for normal relationships such as that between partners, or parents and children.  Fuck that.

#mst3k #reviews #the monster maker #episodes that never were #guys in gorilla suits #40s #tw: rape

[alexanderwesker]

My analysis of the character of Jeremiah Valeska (pre-Insanity Spray)

I've finally come around to actually write that analysis, I promised you guys some days ago. I actually tried to read up on how to do a character analysis, for this. But decided to just go with the flow of my though so sorry if this turns out to be too rambly. This whole analysis is also based on the impression I got from Jeremiah the first time he was presented in 4x17 "Mandatory Brunch Meeting". And that impression was that Jeremiah Valeska was (well I don't wanna use medical terms because they bore me and because they have been thrown at me too often so I'm gonna put it in layman terms) a man with paranoiac tendencies and low empathy, and he had also some kind form of obsessive/intrusive thoughts. From this basis we can start the actual analysis (plus some congectures of the twins childhood, because that did shape them to be the men they became): Between the twins Jeremiah was, probably, the quiet one, but not out of some sort of shyness or anything similar, but just because he didn't know how to interact with people... normally. In the sense that when he spoke up he'd probably be kind of unsettling for how cold and emotionless he appeared to be as he wasn't yet that apt in picking up social clues and read the minute instances of body language, and as such could fake any kind of emotional responce that wasn't particulary obvious, and so usually let Jerome do the talking, so that he could learn, and imitate. So that he could become the perfect one between them. For his sake, for his need to learn how to 'fake being normal' he probably pushed and pushed Jerome as far as he could, to get any sort of reaction that he could learn from. (Jerome let him because he didn't know how harmful it was enabling that behaviour; Jerome let him because Jeremiah was his twin and he'd never hurt him.) He, also, probably started 'manipulating' Lila very early on, as soon as he understood that he could get people to do what he wanted if he acted like they wanted him to act. (That was probably the first wedge between the brothers). Lila wanted a little Mr. Perfect that was studious and clever, and silent and polite, so Jeremiah gave her what she wanted so to make his life easier. And since he started so early on, he probably has problems in discern the difference between who he really is and what he is so used to show others. (Jerome is the only one who knows the difference, the only one who can see behind the facade that Jeremiah presents to the world, and has always being able too). Of course as time passed, say the twins were nine or ten, Jeremiah felt like he needed to get out of there that that wasn't the life for him, so he used all of what he had learned. He lied and he created evidence to support his lies, even if that meant hurting himself, why? Because his goal was more important, because it was self-preservation after all. And with that he managed to escape the circus. Went to St. Ignacious, created a new identity for himself and lived it, and because he was yet to young to lie and not being affected by it, slowly he started believing his own lies. That Jerome had tried to kill him, that he would find him and hurt him. He also wasn't adopted probably, people don't tend to like children that are too disconcerning (and trust me I know how much people don't like people like me), but he was a genius and got to emancipate himself, started working as an engineer as soon as he was able too. Somewhere during that time he met Ecco that basically took Jerome's place as Jeremiah's anchor, but as she wasn't Jerome, as she probably was more suscettible more malleable, he changed her instead of letting her change him.  He made her what he needed: a protector, someone who'd be his voice and eyes in the outside world as he shut himself in further and further away, letting his fear turned obsession for Jerome, Jerome finding him, Jerome killing him, Jerome hurting him. (And even though he knew that was a lie, he was already too lost in his own web of lies to actually rationalize that he didn't need to do any of that.) There was probably some period of his life, either before or after he worked for Thomas Wayne in which he felt like he didn't have control on anything, not even having Ecco at his beck and call was enough. And that was what made him create the labyrinth, his perfect home. A place where he'd be the one with all the power, and anyone else would be just like a fly trapped in a spider's web. Which bring us to the Jeremiah we see in "Mandatory Brunch Meeting". That Jeremiah has long passed that period of his life in which he didn't have control. In fact he was in perfect control, he probably even made possible for Jerome to find Ecco, because if they had to actually met, he'd want that to happen by circumstances he created. He is so sure, like a tarantula in its nest calm and quiet till bothered, that he even let the police in his maze. He doesn't fear them, he doesn't have any reason to (his only fear locked up tightly in a place where, he thought, he could never escape from), and that we can see in the scene where Jim and Harvey met him. Jeremiah isn't allarmed, he isn't even scared when they point their guns at him, why? Because he knows that he isn't in danger, they are in his den, they are the one who are in the wrong place, they don't know how to leave the maze. If he'd so liked he could have leave them to die forever trapped, of course that's not what he wants, no, what he wants is for them to leave him alone. So he puts up the old mask of vulnerability and tells them the old lies he told, he tells them that Jerome threatened him, that Jerome was violent, that Jerome was the broken one. He? He's always been the poor, poor victim, he's always been the one who was born right. (Is that true, no and yes. If he had had actual support? He'd probably be as normal as someone as me can be, but he didn't have support so he just... worked around that in a way that made sense to him). Then Jim discovers his trick, he discovers that Jerome is there trapped in his maze, and Jeremiah starts desperately grasping at that control that he knows is starting to fade away. He has still enough to keep his mask up, though it’s cracked as he shows less concern for others than he knows it’s normal. He doesn’t pretend to care about what’s happened to Ecco, or to be worried about the detectives lives, he cares only about himself, his own self-preservation once again. But then he loses control again completely; Jerome is freed, two maniacs enter in his perfect, perfect maze. He loses even Ecco, who gets hypnotized, and even though he doesn’t care about her as much as he pretends to, it does somewhat hurt to be betrayed like that. And you can see that, that lost of control from his part. You can see that in the way he confronts Jerome, scared and angry, in the way he acts at the words that Jeromes spews at him. Because Jeremiah doesn't have masks in that moment, beside the pretending to care for his mother.  And that reality is that Jeremiah is afraid of the conseguences of his actions, because he knows that now Jerome is a real threat, that he beat the rabid dog that one time too much, and he is angry because he's lost control again, because of Jerome, and he doesn't know how to gain it back. Then everything just spirals down from there. Once he has lost his foothold, he doesn't have time to regain it. Then the events of "That's Entertainment" happen, and he never actually has the chance to ever regain it. He loses everything that's important: his control, that part of him that actually cares enough for himself to actually force him to try and act like a 'normal' person. He just stops caring, or well in reality he just stops pretending to care. But this analysis isn't on Post-Insanity Spray!Jeremiah so I'll stop here. Sorry if it's rambly or nonsensical but I feel a lot for him, or well not feel exactly, I just liked to see someone like myself on screen. For that little he was there as himself and not that... being he became after. Though I guess, people will always see people as myself as monsters so... was Jeremiah's end really a surprise?... Not really.

#jeremiah valeska #jerome valeska #gotham #gotham analysis #character analysis #gotham character analysis #Oof this came out more rambly than I wanted... #and much more bitter #:( sorry #i tried #tell me what you think #again sorry for the rambliness and bitter tone of this analysis #It's just that Jeremiah Pre-Spray was basically the first time I saw somebody like me on TV and wasn't evil #then they of course had to Spray him and make him go insane... #(I like Post-Spray!Jeremiah though don't take this as me hating him because I don't)

[once-upon-a-scenario]

The Pillars with pets; Modern AU headcanons

(Part 1!) Rengoku: -found a tiny, sopping wet, absolutely filthy kitten lying half-dead in an alleyway -“I shall take you home, save your life, feed you, clean you, name you Lion, adopt you and be friends with you for life” -“in that order” -frankly he never did plan to get a cat -he always wanted a pet, of course, but he used to see himself as more of a dog person -h o w e v e r, that kitten needed him. And Rengoku does not forsake victims of injustice!!!! -so yes. He takes it home. -he saves its life. -he names it Lion, adopts it, -and they become the best of friends. -Lion grows from a scrawny little baby kitten into the hugest, fluffiest ginger cat anybody has ever seen -Rengoku’s couch is perpetually covered with cat hair and he is so proud -(Sanemi comes over once, wearing white pants, sits down, stands up, stares at his pants and screams) -(Rengoku: she’s shedding! Isn’t it magnificent? Sanemi: son of a bitch my ass is oRANGE) -Lion becomes so huge that even Rengoku struggles a little to carry her around once she reaches full size, and he sometimes does reflect fondly on when his pet was small enough to actually hold, but luckily, Lion is also an incredibly lazy, incredibly easy-going cat -she also cannot ever be convinced not to sleep in Rengoku’s bed -eventually, she has kittens and Rengoku’s house becomes absolutely overrun with feral, fuzzy little creatures -he adores them all!! So much!!! (lowkey would name them after Lion King characters lol) -makes sure to send them all off to homes that he 10000% trusts, except for one that he keeps for himself -Lion the matriarch lives to be 20 years old and is forever remembered as a proud member of the Rengoku family Muichirou: -Himejima: I got you some birds -Muichirou: Birds are stupid -Muichirou: -Muichirou: Anyway, where are my birds -the birds are a pair of blue budgies -at first, it’s impossible to tell how Muichirou feels about them -(but he really loves them tbh) -one is Sora and the other is Yuki -Muichirou keeps them in a big cage in his room -and can often be seen just…sitting on a little stool in front of the cage. Staring at his pets. He can watch them for hours -is not initially sure how to go about befriending them -he’s kind of scared to tbh, but with some encouragement from Himejima and the information that they’re technically already hand-tamed, he starts making their acquaintance -Sora is sweet and immediately warms up to him. Yuki is a brat and can’t express herself through any action but biting -(Muichirou stares blankly at his bitten finger for a few seconds before deciding that he actually doesn’t care) -he continues to act like he has 0 feelings about them but tbh, once they start sitting on his shoulder and come up to snuggle against him -he goes Soft -never has them in their cage after that, except for bedtime/times when he can’t supervise them -lowkey shows them off to friends when they come over -(Tanjiro gushes over how sweet they are and Muichiro just. melts. He loves Tanjiro 12398x more than before, if that was even possible) -does *not* trust Inosuke or Zenitsu with his birds -saw some vids on youtube of talking budgies and was like “hmmm” -spent about a week trying to teach Yuki and Sora to talk before giving up -(because he decided he didn’t actually care that much lol) -(his pets are perfect. They don’t need to learn any extra tricks.) -sometimes gets a little sad because watching Yuki and Sora snuggle together kind of reminds him of himself and Yuichirou Shinobu: -no pets! Said Shinobu, smilingly, because pets make a mess -“and I don’t have the time to take care of a dog or a cat or a guinea pig” -then Shinobu realized that tarantulas exist. -her tarantula is a large, fuzzy specimen named -Coco. -Coco is a bit shy -her tank is kept in impeccable condition on Shinobu’s desk -the crickets for her food are carefully stored where nobody but Shinobu should be able to find them -(this happened after that one time Kanao brought friends home)-(and a certain somebody spilled the crickets)  -(Shinobu was out for blood that day….right after she finished de-cricketing her house)  -Shinobu doesn’t really handle Coco much because she doesn’t want to accidentally damage her  -plus, it’s nicer to just watch her crawl around  -during down time, when she doesn’t have work to do and can finally relax, she likes to just sit next to the tank and read a book or listen to some music  -when she has particularly unwelcome visitors, she…tends to feed them horror stories about tarantulas with an angelic smile  -before introducing them to Coco -she takes some sadistic pleasure in watching them squirm  -also will not stand for anybody insulting Coco. You talk smack about the spider, you’re banished from her house forever  -the only person in the friend group not afraid of Coco is probably Mitsuri, who thinks she’s the cutest, fuzziest spider she’s ever seen  -Shinobu loves her for that -Sanemi took one look at Coco and reacted with “wtf is that”; he’s since lost any respect Shinobu might’ve had for him -idk ultimately Shinobu feels like Coco is her soulmate; she’s beautiful, not particularly fussy, not clingy at all, but is still there, waiting in her tank when Shinobu comes home at the end of a long day  -and it’s just really nice to have a friend around, y’know Giyuu: -owns a turtle. -he never intended to own a turtle -he never intended to own anything -he bought it from some shady dude trying to sell it from a tiny dirty bucket on the side of the road because Animal Abuse -and was planning to give it to somebody -Giyuu: Hi so I have this turtle- -Everybody else in the squad: bye -he also doesn’t know anybody outside of the squad so…for the moment, the turtle is his -borrows literally every book on turtles ever from the local library -the next day he wakes up looking like a panda, with 30 minutes of sleep under his belt and more knowledge on turtles than any non-professional could hope to have -Giyuu @ turtle: I will not name you because that would mean that I have some intention of keeping you, and I have no intention of keeping you. None. -Giyuu, two hours later: Your name is Haru, you are babie, and I will kill anybody who tries to take you from me -Haru is a smol babie turtle and Giyuu has no restraint when it comes to purchasing his child’s things -huge tank, rocks, heating lamps, food -he goes above and beyond in providing proper conditions for his pet tbh. All the reading paid off -he is incredibly paranoid and has an endless list of every single reptile vet within a few hour’s drive of his house -(because what if Vet no.1 takes a day off so he goes to see Vet no.2 but Vet no.2’s heavily pregnant and her kid is due that day so he heads to Vet no.3 but Vet no.3 is on vacation in the Philippines-) -is That Person who responds to “you need to get out more” with “I have Haru” -people who hear him talk about Haru end up assuming that Haru is a human child and possibly his son -worries that Haru will be lonely and asks google if turtles need friends -Haru grows to be not-so-little in a few years but tbh? He’s still Giyuu’s baby.

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #rengoku kyoujurou #tokitou muichirou #tomioka giyuu #kocho shinobu #headcanons #imagines #pets #fluff #Mod Eve

[cecilspeaks]

164 - The Faceless Old Woman (Live)

[applause]

Jeffrey Cranor: I’m really excited, we wrote this script recently coming up in this last performance for tonight. And I got real excited for writing it, cause we haven’t written like a, to do a live show full length in a new voice. And it was a lot of fun to do.

Joseph Fink: Yeah so tonight we are presenting the first Welcome to Night Vale show that is entirely from the point of view of someone who is not Cecil, this is the time when the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home gets to step out from her secret.. place in your home. [laughter] And tell you a little bit about herself.

Jeffrey: One of my favorite things about writing the Faceless Old Woman stuff is cause the way Joseph and I work is that we’ll write episodes or write parts of episodes and pass it to the other and that person will, sometimes have questions but oftentimes just maybe like add something to it. So a lot of times it’s either, when I get stuff back from Joseph and I dunno if he feels the same way getting stuff back form me, with the Faceless Old Woman script it was always either something really hilarious for something really upsetting. [laughter] And I really love that a lot.

Joseph: This is maybe the most upsetting thing we’ve ever written, I hope you guys enjoy it. [laughter]

Jeffrey: Have fun, good night! [applause]

Joseph: I guess we should start that show we talked about.

Jeffrey: Let’s do it. You guys, let’s welcome to the stage your friend and ours, Mara Wilson!

[applause] [long silence]

Mara Wilson: I am the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. Hello. You don’t know me, but I know you. I know you very well. I’ve been going through your medicine cabinet. You take too much Advil. Do you realize how hard that is on your digestion? I know a couple gelcaps and a glass of water before bed can alleviate a morning hangover, but it also puts you in a bad mood, because you don’t get good sleep with all that extra stress you put on your guts. You know what’s a better hangover cure? Not drinking like it’s the last day of community college. I replaced your vodka with clear Windex, and your Advil with Ipecac. This won’t help your hangovers, but it certainly will be more entertaining for me. I don’t sleep, so I need better late night entertainment than Netflix. I’ve already watched every episode of “Money Heist” and “Criminal Man” and “Planet documentary”, I have to spice it up a little bit.

Which reminds me, sorry about the tarantula incident last week. And here I’m speaking specifically to you, Tony. Yes you, in the shirt. The one hoping I’m not talking about you. I’m not sorry you woke up with a tarantula covering your face, nor that it bit you, causing your eyelids to swell up like Kinder eggs filled with purulent discharge instead of toys. I am sorry that I forgot to turn the flash off of my camera, which alarmed both you and the spider, and I never got a good photo. I’ve been building up my portfolio for an art exhibit I call “Gross Things on a Sleeping Tony”. It’s going up June 1, exclusively in your living room.  I’ve already gotten “Open-mouthed Centipede Bouquet” framed. You’re gonna find this show absolutely terrific.  Wait no, not terrific, what’s the word? Terrifying.

Tony, you’re one of my favorites in Night Vale. I know you hate your direct marketing job selling high interest credit cards to twenty-somethings, but the benefits are great. You have health care, a 401k, and you get to take advantage of people less fortunate than you. Everything is its own reward. But I’ve read your poetry, you love poetry. To be fair, there isn’t a big job market for poets, but you need to explore what makes you happy. I tattooed one of my favorite lines of poetry on you last month. It’s by Mary Oliver. “Instructions for living a life. Close your eyes. Be scared. Good luck.” And then I drew a little butterfly next to the words. I’m not the best artists, though, so it kind of looks like a radish or a sarcoma. Doesn’t matter, you still haven’t noticed. It’s just right below your right shoulder blade, don’t try to find it now, it’s still healing and given that I used the metal rod from that fondue set in your closet as the needle, it’s possible it’s infected. Better to leave it alone.

Tony, look at me. Imagine where my eyes would be. You have a lot to work through. I’m here to help you, I really am. I’ll prove it by giving you some advice. If a venomous arthropod is on your face, don’t scream.

Anyway, it’s not you Tony who’s bothering me, it’s the new people. They are elderly, like me, and they just moved into a house in the center of Night Vale. Or maybe this is decades from now, time is a little hazy for me. I’ve never been in this house nor noticed it before they moved in. it’s a one bedroom and there are three of them. I thought polyamory, but they have three separate beds and they never speak to each other, rarely look at each other, and never leave the home. The first night I secretly lived in their home, I realized they never slept either. They brushed their teeth, put on pajamas and get into bed. But they all lie there, eyes open, through silent hours of darkness.

I tried whispering to them but got no response. Usually when I reveal myself in the dark, I get the thrill of witnessing horror dawn across a person’s distorted mouth and bulging eyes as they see my faceless face pressed up against their own. One of the best parts of visiting new residents. But not these three. For once, I’m the frightened one.

Speaking of frightening, did you get your taxes (-) [0:08:20] on time Alex? You, you’re Alex. You with the shoes. I had to file for an extension. I don’t owe any money because I have no income, but I’m over 200 years old, never got a social security number, have no permanent address and I wasn’t born in this country, it’s a lot of paperwork. And Alex, you know your Wi-Fi is terrible and I was having a hard time downloading the forms I needed, so I just wrote my name on some yellowish-black Boston lettuce you’ve left in the crisper for the last three weeks. But the leaves kept falling apart, I think more like melting. After about 20 minutes, I got frustrated and just made myself a salad. Also, I used the last of your parmesan cheese, but don’t worry, I replaced it with dried skin I’ve been collecting from your bed sheets. Don’t be grossed out, Alex. Same texture and nutritional value, you won’t know the difference. I got the idea from a Food Network’s “Beat Bobby Flay”, where this one winner tied up Bobby and ran a (micro-) [0:09:17] across his forehead to make a chimichurri sauce.

I love that show, but I’m a bigger fan of HGTV’s “House Hunters”, the desert dystopian version. That’s where I met you, Addie. Yes you, with the face. You were shopping for a new home here in Night Vale. You told the realtor - who was inside of a living deer, its belly horrifically distended and quivering with every one of the agent’s words and gesticulation – that you wanted three bedrooms, a back yard, and something close to an outdoor community space. The first home, the yard was not in good shape, lots of (- remains) [0:09:55] and the lawn was glowing, perhaps from underground radiation testing. It was well under your budget, but you would have had to spend your savings on fixing it up. Also, in the bathroom mirror you saw, crawling across the ceiling, a faceless old woman devouring what looked like a rat. You didn’t need to worry about a rat infestation, Addie. It was a chipmunk. The second home was a condo right in the heart of the arts district. You loved the design: a simple large black cube, no doors, no windows, no interior. A true closed floor plan, so popular these days. But you weren’t sure there was enough room for entertaining, or anything else at all. The house you selected was perfect. Three bedrooms, a Jacuzzi en suite, and a large patio backyard. Plus it was right in the middle of town next to a community dog park. Although you would be disappointed later to learn that your dog had been arrested for domestic espionage after peeing inside the park’s forbidden walls. I think you made the right choice, Addie, but I can’t help wondering every time I watch “House Hunters”, who is this person running away from? You left Queens to move to Night Vale. Queens is where your family lives, where your best friend lives, and your girlfriend of two years. Are you afraid of stasis, Addie? Of being loved, of commitment? You might be afraid of that pinkish ooze coming out of your ear, might wanna see an ENT about that. Or if not an ENT, an entomologist.

Speaking of putting woodboring beetles inside orifices, I tried a similar thing with the elderly room mates who recently moved to town, or will move to town many years from now, again time is strange to me. But these room mates are also so strange. When I went to put a beetle into one of their ears, I noticed a lot of scar tissue there, making the hole too small. In my haste, the beetle scurried away and I got kind of desperate and just made a bunch of spooky moans and hisses like this: [moans, hisses] but not one of the three responded to me. They continued their meaningless pantomime of sleeping, and in the morning they got up and each went quietly about their days. One of them made coffee, but did not drink it. They then went to the window and waved at their neighbor, Susan Willman, who was on her porch stretching before her morning run. Susan looked at the figure in the window next to her and froze. She stared in terror, then darted back into her home and locked the door. Susan has always been unfriendly. I ran her bed sheets through her office shredder as a reminder to be more open and loving toward the world.

The other two room mates climbed into the shower at the same time. I’m not one to get off on others’ sexual activities, I just thought I might see something new, something human here. But no, they stood side by side, cleaning their cold gravity-defeated bodies, not once looking at each other let alone speaking. A squelch and a squish and grey water falling around yellow toenails. They toweled off, but when they hung the towels up, those towels were completely dry.

I’m used to being the one who does inexplicable and disturbing things. Last year during the community players’ production of “Romeo and Juliet”, I decided it would be more fun if they used actual poison. But it was a last minute idea, so the only poison I could find was Borax. Which just gave the two kids playing the leads several unhappy hours in the bathroom on the night after the show ended, so I don’t know. I could have made a stronger directorial choice. But so could the actual director, I get that Shakespeare plays are long, but he cut out all the best parts like the train robbery, and also Tybalt winning his bowling league. Although I did appreciate that they left in Juliet’s famous line: “Good night, good night, your blood and guts and marrow, which worms shall eat inside your grave so narrow.” It’s a classic story. Kids these days just don’t try to fake their own deaths anymore.

Oh. And Morgan. Yes Morgan, I’m talking to you, you with the fingernail sand the teeth. I need to explain something to you. You tip 20 per cent. You can afford it, stop using it as a measure of how much you approve of the restaurant service. A 20 per cent tip is not  bonus, it’s a fee. Restaurant owners don’t pay their staffs, instead they make the diners pay their employees through this idiotic notion of capitalist meritocracy. I don’t care how bad the service, tip them. You have money, Morgan. I would also tell you to stop asking to speak to a manager every time your Long Island Ice Tea is a bit like, but I got out your tongue last month, so they wouldn’t understand you anymore anyway. Do you know what a cut human tongue tastes like, Morgan? Yes you do. You just don’t know that you do. Remember Applebee’s last week? You ordered soup. It was a beef base with  little onions and little perfectly sautéed flecks of your own tongue that you had used to lash out at a manager the last time you ate there. You could blame them for poorly expediting your orders, but really the onus is on you for going to Applebee’s. Which serves neither of the items its name promises. It’s false advertising. It’s like an egg cream soda, or Taco Bell.

Speaking of eating, the elderly room mates made lunch together, but not for each other. They were all in the kitchen at the same time making separate meals in silence. They sat around the dining room table together and ate. They carved and stabbed and pushed foods quickly into their mouths, but their eyes were empty. One of them began to spit out their food. No one seemed to care or notice. They all began to vomit, but not with muscular heaves of shoulders and necks, the vomit spurted out like water from a hand pump, their torsos and heads perfectly still. After each bodily rejection of food, they would start shoveling it back to their mouths, repeating the same process. Eventually one of them stood up and threw their plate into the kitchen window, glass bursting everywhere. That person leaned into the hole and began punching the jagged shards out with their clenched fists as blood poured out of their forearms and wrists. They screamed mournfully into the suburban street. Neighbors and passers-by passed only briefly, as if they had barely heard the sad howls spreading across the valley. Susan’s lemon tree next door died instantly and all the lemons fell with wet plops to the ground. The fruit pealed open and inside of each was a fleshy crimson pulp, like meat that has been ground for too long. The other two room mates kept eating and vomiting, not even noticing the shattered glass being subsumed by the growing pool of blood on the floor.

You know, I wasn’t always like this, faceless or old. Secretly living anywhere. Once I was born upon warm water. The smell I remember is sharp citrus and the peppery sting of grass. The salt funk of ocean. I was once a child. I grieved once. I smelled blood. Once I was a thief. I lived among thieves, I saw empires rise and fall, centuries cast themselves upon infinity as fruitlessly as waves upon cliffs. Once I was a recluse. I lived amongst bandits and farmers, I spoke a different language then. I’ve spoken many languages.

Once I was under the sea. That was a quiet time. I lived amongst the coral and dead-eyed fish. Once I was a wanderer. I’ve seen the (head) [0:18:14] waters of the Mississippi and I’ve seen the cobbled streets of Paris and I’ve seen the empty arches of Franchia. But I’ve never seen anything like those three room mates. Of all the things I've been – child, thief, recluse, wandered, faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, I’ll tell you this: I’ve never been more scared.

Fear is in the unknowing and the mystery. Fear is seeing everything about an old woman except her face. Fear is the uncertainty of her secretly living in your home. Fear is not the spider you see on the wall. It’s the spider you no longer see on the wall when you look back again.

In the unnerving din of shattered glass and mournful howls of that house, I found the loose thread that unraveled this mystery. The room mate who screamed had no tongue. And one of the others had an ear swollen shut from a previous surgery. And the other had a red mark, like a radish or sarcoma adorned with poetry drawn upon their shoulder blade. I realized I knew these three strange room mates. They are you, Tony, the special tattoo I gave you. And they are you, Addie, with your oral scar tissue from the beetle I jammed in there. And you, Morgan, with your tongue removed and digested. The three of you do not exactly live together in that home, not at the same time. You are living three different lifetimes in that same space. You do not speak or respond, because you are dead. Each of you alone in that house together, or you will be, time is confusing for me. Decades from now after you die, your souls will be trapped in the house, because something in this world is unresolved for you. You know this, paranormal neuroscience is required for all high school freshmen. But what they don’t teach you is how to resolve it. I know how and when each one of you die. I wrote it down on the back pages of your journals. Iv’e done this for everybody, but nobody ever reads it, because while people always think they’ll write every day, after a few pages they fall off the wagon and never see the lsat pages of their journals. Except Jonathan Franzen. He didn’t seem bothered by what he read. But he did cross out all my adverbs and added some Oxford commas. In case you’re wondering how Jonathan Franzen dies, here’s the answer: he doesn’t.

I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. You might find this ambiguous, after all the word “home” is singular. So whose home is it that I secretly live in? Listen, some things in this tangled world are simple. I live in your home, and your home, and your home, I live in all of your homes simultaneously. I am many. [echo] I am many. I am one. [echo] I am one. You all live such different lives, teeming, that’s what you are: teeming. And I am there watching you.

You, Tony, you dream of being a poet. Resolve the unresolved. The worst that can happen is crushing disappointment and public mockery, and eviction when you can’t pay your rent. Many more awful things after that, get to it!

And you, Addie, you fled your previous city to escape a murder charge. Strangely, you didn’t commit the murder you were charged with, but you have committed murder. Weird choice to go on “House Hunters” as a wanted fugitive, but maybe it was a good first step to healing your soul.

And you, Morgan. You have an idea that could save us all, an epic defining idea, one of the greats, but you don’t know which one. You have so many ideas. I can tell you this: most of them are not important. One of them is vitally important. Good luck. Also, tip 20 per cent.

And you, I forgot your name, you tweet too much. We all tweet too much, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. That’s why I ate your phone. You can thank me later. You can all thank me later. Because you all will be seeing me soon. I think that tonight is the night to let slip my secret. You’ll soon see me fumbling wet and gray from out of the bathroom mirror, or folded up strangely loose skin and mashed bones in the bottom drawer of your dresser. Or you will see me scuttle on your walls, the hair hanging down from my faceless face. Or you will look out your kitchen window and there will be someone standing in your driveway, and it will be me, and there will be no one in the driveway and instead, I will be next to you in the kitchen. Faceless and so very very old. Won’t that be nice?

I’m the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. And your home. And your home. And every home. And I will be seeing you very, very soon.

[music, applause]

Today’s proverb: Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the title page instead.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #episode 164 #the faceless old woman #the faceless old woman live #finally #thanks for your patience #there might be more mistakes bc there were many big words

[birlcholtz]

25 - 50 - 80 for the angst/fluff ask. Ship of your choice. ^_^

25. Karma is a bitch.

50. It’s not safe here.

80. You have no idea.

Prompts from this post!

i had no idea if you meant these separately or together, so here’s 2k of a charmer… kind of monster hunter kind of ghostbusters au! they fight things and cait has a truck that’s the vision here. and here it is on ao3!

.

Caitlin has seen a lot of weird things. She kind of gets paid to go around looking for weird things and, well, stabbing them, frequently. (She tries to communicate first, but… usually, if communication is possible, the sixteen-year-olds who make supernatural creatures angry in the first place can manage the situation themselves.)

But this is the first time that someone else has beaten her to the site where the last interaction took place. This time, it’s an empty lot, mostly weeds and dead wildflowers, bordered by trees on every side except the side with the road.

The teary, fear-quickened voice on the other end of her work phone had said that the thing, whatever it was, had six legs. So Caitlin is pretty sure that a person in black jeans and a teal sweatshirt is some sort of bystander, stumbling into something they are not equipped to handle.

“Stop!” she calls out, just loud enough that she can be sure the person hears her. They stop walking, and she can see their back stiffen just before they turn towards the source of the noise, but she’s already running towards them. If the thing comes out, this person will be a lot safer next to Caitlin than far away from her. “It’s not safe here,” she adds once she’s within a few feet.

The person gives her a small smile and says, “Oh, you have no idea.”

Okay. Fuck. That’s ominous.

At least they don’t immediately grow four more legs and attack her, which dismisses her immediate thought of shapeshifter, but Caitlin braces and puts her hands on her weapons— coiled rope on one hip, knife on the other, gun under her jacket but let’s hope that’s not necessary, and says, “Tell me what you know.”

“It’s a giant venomous tarantula. I haven’t seen it myself, though.” They shrug, hands still in the front pocket of their hoodie, which Caitlin can now see has a San Jose Sharks logo on the front. “Sorry!”

“So are you going to help me deal with it, or am I doing this by myself?” she asks. Which might be rude, but they’ve got bigger problems.

The person blinks, and then lets a bigger, close-mouthed smile spread across their face. “You’re going to help? ‘Swawesome! I brought these.” They pull their hands out of their pockets, revealing a knife between each finger like Wolverine or some shit. They’re an interesting color, not silver or gray or anything, dark and viciously sharp-looking. “So what’s your name?”

Caitlin sizes up the knives again, and then says, “Are you fae?”

“Nope! I just don’t know many people outside my house. Are you a monster fighter?”

“Yes,” she answers slowly, and decides not to reveal any more personal information until she’s figured out who the hell this person is.

“That’s cool,” they say cheerfully, and Caitlin notices dark hair, mostly hidden under the hood of their sweatshirt. “I’m learning how to do that. Usually I’m supposed to have an escort for the first five years so nothing bad happens but my team decided to send me out here while they work on something over in Worcester, I’m not sure what? Anyway. I’m glad you’re here too though! To be honest, I was a little nervous about doing this by myself, but you know.” Another shrug.

Caitlin most definitely does not know whatever this person is referring to, but she keeps that to herself. “Do you have any idea where the tarantula is right now?”

“Probably the trees. I wouldn’t be in the open right now if it was me, it got a pretty bad scare! Not as bad as those kids did, though, I guess.” And the person giggles. “Oh, well.”

This is definitely weird, and Caitlin has decided not to rule out any possibilities on why, exactly, this person is here right now and how they seem to know so much about what’s going on. Better to probe for information. “How did it get scared?”

“Well, they’re burrowers, you know? Someone just took a stick and— get ready! Try not to hurt it!”

And with that, the person springs forward what has to be at least six feet in the blink of an eye, settling into a crouch, knives in hand, almost before Caitlin sees the first pair of legs emerge from the trees, followed by the second, and then the third.

The tarantula is, indeed, giant. It’s brown, and furry, and has lots of eyes, and overall looks kind of like every other tarantula Caitlin has ever seen in pictures and terrariums, except tall enough to make solid eye contact with her shoulder. And Caitlin is tall.

She grabs her rope. It’s already set up to be a lasso, which is probably ideal in this situation. At least, if the whole ‘try not to hurt it’ thing is actually a good idea.

The tarantula approaches, and Caitlin wishes they were somewhere with streetlights, but all she has to go off of are the stars, sparse in a sky artificially brightened from light pollution, and the waxing moon overhead. It’s enough to see by, barely. The tarantula doesn’t actually seem super interested in attacking them, which is a good sign, but it’s also coming directly at them, which is a bad one.

She readies her lasso, but it’s still well outside of lassoing distance when it stops and starts doing something.

“Burrowing,” the person still crouched about six feet away whispers. “It probably just wants its home back!”

That does actually look like what’s going on. Caitlin can see the tarantula digging, even pushing some of the dirt farther away from what must be a decently sized hole. But she doesn’t dare move.

They wait there for at least twenty minutes. Caitlin’s abs hurt from how hard she’s clenching them to stay still, and she cannot believe this person is still maintaining a crouch. They haven’t moved at all from what she can see, and she was so proud of herself for managing a five-minute wall sit yesterday, too. 

Finally, the tarantula stops digging. It starts walking again, and Caitlin tenses even more, but it just walks in a circle around where its hole must be (she can’t see exactly, because the weeds are tall enough to block her vision), and then it must crawl in, because all of a sudden it’s vanished.

The other person stands up immediately and says, “Woohoo!”

“Uh, what?”

They’re already putting the knives back in their sweatshirt pocket (which does not seem like a good place for them, but whatever). “Okay, so I didn’t hear everything that happened earlier, but I’m pretty sure someone like, poked its burrow and ruined it. And it got really, really big to retaliate— I bet if the people hadn’t gotten away so fast, it would have tried to destroy some houses or something. But it’s got its home back, so it’s back to normal size. I’m Chris, by the way!” They stick out their newly knife-free hand. “I’m from a monster hunting team outside Boston. Who are you?”

“Uh, I’m Caitlin,” she says, and shakes their hand. “I’m a loner.”

“Oh, that’s too bad! Unless you prefer it that way, then I guess it’s better? I really like being around other people, though, so it would be worse for me. The other guys on my team— we’re not all guys! Just, like, I am, and a bunch of other people are, but not all of us, don’t worry, we’re not like some weird misogynistic monster fighting group or anything— anyway, some of the other guys on my team have worked together forever and they bought a really big house a few years back so they could all live together! And once I joined I moved in too and it’s been great, I’ve never had so many roommates! But um. Anyway. How’d you hear about the tarantula?”

She shrugs. “Someone called me. Probably one of the people who was there when it happened, but I have no idea. I usually don’t bother to find out, because I’ve got a private patron anyway, so I don’t need to get paid for each job.”

“Oh, us too!” Chris says. “Does yours have a really weird name too?”

“Mine calls himself Fry Guy?”

His jaw drops, just for a moment, but Caitlin notices the glint of white teeth before he closes his mouth again. “That’s what ours calls himself too! I bet it’s the same person. You should totally come join our team, then! Wait, but you’re a human, aren’t you? Never mind.”

“I’m half banshee,” Caitlin says.

Chris beams and reveals a full set of fangs. “Great! I’m a vampire!” That explains the leg muscles. And the speed. And Caitlin is guessing he heard whatever happened with the tarantula— she hasn’t met any vampires, but people have told her their senses are very good. “I just got turned, like, two years ago, though. We were fighting this demon and it was the backup goalie from my high school hockey team, and we didn’t know that but he totally had it out for me, because I was goalie too and he was a senior when I was a sophomore and I guess he was mad because he didn’t get as much ice time because of me and then he didn’t get scouted or anything, and I definitely would have died so my friend Justin had to turn me, like, right then. Um, and then the demon guy kind of burned himself up because he wasn’t supposed to use that much power at once?” He frowns. “I think he might have been a warlock, actually. But he wasn’t very good at hockey.”

“Karma is a bitch,” Caitlin offers, because that whole speech was a lot and that’s about the only thing she can muster.

Chris (Chris? For a vampire?) says, “I think the real problem with karma is that usually people don’t live long enough for it to come around again.”

“That sounds really jaded for someone who says they’re a new vampire.”

He shrugs, smile back in place, although Caitlin notices it’s just a little crooked— she can see his fangs on his left side a little more than the ones on his right. It’s surprisingly endearing. “April says I’m learning to fit in with the team really well!”

They wait in the empty lot for a few more minutes, just to make sure the tarantula doesn’t get back to giant size, and then Chris graciously accepts a ride in Caitlin’s truck back to his house. He’d run to the lot, apparently. 

“You really should consider joining our team, you know,” Chris says once Caitlin’s started the truck. “We have enough different people that we can choose who we send to deal with different things. And also we have collective bargaining power.”

“It sounds great,” Caitlin admits. “I’ve been working by myself the whole time. It gets kind of lonely.”

“Well, we don’t take humans at all, so you’ll need proof that you’re part banshee, but you’re super qualified! And I’ll vouch for you.” He smiles at her from the passenger seat, and Caitlin wonders how a creature of the night can smile so earnestly that it lights up his whole face.

She drops him off at a huge colonial-style house with a long driveway, and he puts his phone number and the landline for that house in her phone, and Caitlin watches him leap up to a second story balcony and casually step inside and wonders if this time next year, she might be able to call this place home.

She drives off, remembering Chris’s last smile from over his shoulder, and she smiles too.

#my stuff #randomnoteforfuturereference #fic #charmer #omgcp #quarantime

[aion-rsa]

How Arachnophobia Became the Perfect Creepy Crawly Horror Comedy

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There’s a moment in Arachnophobia where Jeff Daniels’ Dr Ross Jennings, lying in bed one night worried his new hometown of Canaima is under attack from venomous spiders, spots an eight-legged intruder lurking in plain sight on his bedroom wall. The scene builds to a terrifying crescendo when the panic-stricken Jennings, who has a pathological fear of spiders, decides to confront the arachnid – only to discover it’s a coat hook.  

It’s a prime example of the power Arachnophobia still possesses, 30 years on from its release. The power to have audiences breaking out in cold sweats one minute and fits of laughter the next.  

The story of an ordinary American town that becomes infested with a deadly new species of spider unwittingly transported over from the Amazon rainforest, Arachnophobia might have been a very different prospect in the hands of another filmmaker.  

Fortunately, Arachnophobia had Frank Marshall at the helm.  

A long-time producer who had worked with everyone from Orson Welles to Martin Scorsese prior to founding Amblin Entertainment with his wife Kathleen Kennedy and long-time collaborator Steven Spielberg, Arachnophobia represented Marshall’s directorial debut. In many ways, he couldn’t have picked a better project.  

Never work with animals and children 

While the old Hollywood adage claimed you should never work with children or animals, Marshall had an impressive track record with both – especially animals. He had overseen the uses of several snakes in Raiders of the Lost Ark as well as Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and orchestrated the plague of rats that pop up in the sewers of Venice during Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  

More importantly, like Spielberg, he wasn’t averse to cranking up the PG scares whether it be a melting Nazi or the desiccated corpse of a spider bite victim. The key to cooking up a scare in Arachnophobia, however, were the arachnids themselves.  

Marshall and his production team auditioned a variety of spiders for the film, whittling it down to a shortlist of four distinct species, including wolf spiders, tarantulas, and huntsman spiders.  

“I held what I called the Spider Olympics,” he explained in an interview with Amblin. “I really put them through their paces to see if they could climb a glass, if they looked scary, to see how big they were or if they looked good on camera and how we could motivate them.”  

He eventually settled on three-inch wide Delena spiders; a huntsman arachnid native to Australia that had arrived in New Zealand in the 1920s.  

Hundreds of little Marlon Brandos 

Over 300 were shipped to the US for filming, with more arachnids added as filming continued.  

“We had a spider condominium where we had different drawers with spiders that could climb better than others and some that were faster than others. It was really a science of different spider actors.”  

A variety of techniques were used to direct the spiders. Hot and cold air proved effective while the crew also hit on the use of Lemon Pledge cleaner to help guide their movements.  

In some of the more complex shots, microscopic leashes and tiny steel plates were used but even they had their limitations.  Even so, takes regularly ran into the double digits with the film’s arachnid performers guilty of going off script like a bunch of eight-legged Marlon Brandos.

Sometimes things went like clockwork, like the scene where spiders begin to burst out of a bathroom sink.  

“We blew hot air and they came bursting out of the drain,” Marshall said.  “I never dreamed they would just explode.”  

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Other times, however, it proved difficult, with the director citing the scene in which the town coroner and his wife are offed when a rogue arachnid gets inside their bowl of popcorn.  

Marshall said: “The popcorn was probably the hardest one and in the shot that we got, the spider comes out and we follow it. That’s all ad-libbed by the spider.”  

It required meticulous planning on Marshall’s part and a wealth of patience from stars like Daniels, who acknowledged to the New York Times that it took a “special kind of actor” to work with spiders. It was all worth it though. 

The practical approach proved crucial, imbuing Arachnophobia with a sense of realism and a timeless quality missing from the many CGI-led spider monstrosities that have followed in the years since. Not that Marshall was averse to a little technical wizardry though. 

While a real-life Amazonian bird-eating tarantula was cast as larger spider credited as “The General” in the movie and known as “Big Bob” on set, Marshall knew the arachnid was neither big enough for some of the film’s stunts nor trained enough to pull off many of the film’s crucial scenes – including any and all close-ups.  

Instead, a 15-inch mechanical spider was built in his place by then-rookie special effect whizz Jamie Hyneman, who would go on to find fame on the TV series Mythbusters. 

While the handling of the spiders was crucial, Marshall also understood the importance of grounding Arachnophobia in reality was equally important. That required two crucial elements: good casting and relatable set pieces.  

Killer casting 

One of Arachnophobia’s strengths lies in the fact the film takes the time to establish characters and setting before tearing the whole thing apart with a childlike glee. For Marshall, setting out the stall of the movie was crucial to cranking up the scares – and the fun.  

“What’s important in all of these movies is you’ve got to care about the characters,” he told Amblin. “I tried to cast really great actors in the character parts and the smaller parts. I did feel it needed a little bit of comic relief in this story because it was going to be so creepy.”  

Populating the town’s doomed cast of characters with seasoned performers like Henry Jones and Mary Carver as well as comedic actors like Stuart Pankin and Peter Jason proved a masterstroke and ensured, by the time the spiders were closing in, you actually cared for their safety. When the arachnids did descend, it was often to disrupt an otherwise familiar scene of life in small town USA: a garden party, a night in watching Jeopardy or a football practice. In another nightmarish set piece, the town’s soon to retire doctor is bitten by a spider hiding in his slippers.   

“I thought what’s scariest to people is everyday common things that we all would freak out by,” Marshall said. “I know that every morning when I get up to put on my slippers, I still shake them off.”  

In the wrong hands, Arachnophobia could easily have become a straightforward enough horror movie – and, for a brief period at least, it was. According to Jeff Daniels, when he first signed on the film was a far more serious affair.  

“You could tell that the lines were kind of written by computer,” he told the Philadelphia Daily News.

With time ticking on both Daniels and Marshall eager for the film to have a streak of black comedy running through it, producer Kathleen Kennedy went in search of help. In December of 1988, she found it in Wesley Strick.  

Low-hanging fruit 

By then filming had already begun on the movie, with work complete on all of the scenes charting photographer Jerry Manley’s horrifying death at the hands of a spider in the jungles of Venezuela and subsequent transportation back to the US with an arachnid in tow.  

Strick had been working with Spielberg on the script for a remake of Cape Fear. When he got the call from Kennedy, he was settling in for a quiet Christmas with his wife and young children. He didn’t know it yet, but Christmas was about to be cancelled. 

“Kathleen called and asked: ‘do you have holiday plans? Would you be available to work for two or three weeks on a film called Arachnophobia for my husband, Frank Marshall?’ It sounded like fun and I was stuck at home, so I said yeah,” Strick tells Den of Geek. 

Arachnophobia had been in development long before Marshall took charge and, with time ticking on, Kennedy felt it would be beneficial for Strick to glance through some of the previous revisions of screenwriter Don Jakoby’s original script. There were quite a few revisions, as it turned out.  

“A messenger showed up from Amblin with basically a massive box full of scripts,” Strick says. “I had never seen so many drafts. It had been in development for a long time. She sent me like 12 scripts that had been written over two years.”  

Strick immediately identified the issue. 

“The early drafts were both funny and horrific. But by the time I got to the draft they were working with I could see they had developed out most of the horror and the humor. This kind of thing happens in development because studios often seek clarity over entertainment. They believe the audience should be spoon-fed everything.”

But without “the horror and the humor” Arachnophobia wasn’t working.  

“In this instance, however, the changes had ended up flattening out the plot in an effort to make the story clear,” Strick says. “They forgot that it also needed to be funny and scary. In these prolonged development situations, people kind of lose focus on what it is they are really trying to do while trying to solve very literal problems. That’s why it’s beneficial to have another writer come in with a fresh eye. Someone who hasn’t been worn down by two years of search and can fix what got broken by accident.”  

Something else that jumped out at him too – nobody in the script had arachnophobia.  

“That struck me as a huge missed opportunity,” he says. “It was such low-hanging fruit. I started to question my own sanity like, how could they have missed that? So, I called Frank and Kathleen and said ‘hey nobody has arachnophobia; do you not think Ross Jennings should have arachnophobia? And they were both quiet and just kind of said ‘well do you?’ and I said ‘Yeah’ and they were like ‘well go do that’”  

While Strick acknowledges such changes come off as “screenwriter 101 stuff”, the decision to make Jeff Daniels’s character an arachnophobe proved crucial in tying the plot together.  

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“It helps the movie a lot. It became the dramatic arc of the story,” Strick says. “Things like the moment, early in the film, when Dr Jennings recalls how he became an arachnophobe after a spider crawled up his body as a child. That plays out again in the final act, when he’s pinned down and ‘the general’ is crawling over him. He’s forced to overcome that primal fear. Those moments play great and provide the spine of the picture. Without it, I don’t know how the story would play. It would be a series of set pieces. Maybe that would have been good enough but it’s hard to imagine it without that through line.”  

Strick’s role was also to reinvigorate some of what had been lost in the multiple drafts, in an editing process known as “punching up.”  The screenwriter and script doctor explains it perfectly in the context of Arachnophobia.  

“With a film like this, you were essentially building a ride at a theme park,” he says. “You want to deliver thrills so there needs to be a forward momentum to it.  It can’t meander. The dialogue has to crackle. That’s how movies entertain. I am always looking to focus scenes. Often, you read lots of scenes that are fine and have a clear point, but the dialogue isn’t focused. That’s where polishing comes in. It’s looking at every single line and making sure it’s right down to the number of syllables. With Arachnophobia, I had to liven it up. Add some energy and a bit of humor.”  

Over the course of three weeks, Strick worked in a garage converted into a makeshift office, “punching up” the script.  

“There was a lot of pressure because it was already in production but I had a sense of what was needed,” he said. “Even so, it was a little dicey. There was a lot hanging on it.”  

Good times and Goodman 

Both Kennedy and Marshall were thrilled with the changes Strick made. It struck a chord with Marshall’s desire to make Arachnophobia more like a ghost train ride at an amusement park than a night in a haunted house.  

“I liked his dialogue and he wrote creepy scenes,” Marshall later told Amblin. “I thought that was fun… he wrote good characters.”  

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Daniels echoed that sentiment, explaining to the Orlando Sentinel how the fresh injection of comedy helped the film ebb and flow. 

“We approached it as a comedy with a couple of thrills,” he said. “We knew we had the thrills in there, so we worked hard to make sure the movie had a sense of humour about itself.”  

The humor, he said, “kind of relaxes the audience, so that we can come in and get them again.” 

Strick ended up staying involved in the project, albeit in a removed capacity – Marshall would occasionally phone him from the set to bounce around ideas. Whether he can be credited for John Goodman’s performance is up for debate, though he did write several of his lines. Goodman’s cameo remains a source of some contention among Arachnophobia fans. Riding high off the success of Roseanne at the time, it was Spielberg who suggested Goodman appear as exterminator Delbert McClintock.  

Marshall had been eager to inject some humor into the proceedings but Goodman’s exaggerated performance – supposedly based on a real-life exterminator he knew and an old science teacher – jars with the straight-faced approach seen elsewhere.  

Testing and Box Office 

Not that it mattered all that much to movie-goers.  

“I went to a few test screenings and the whole audience would be shrieking and just generally reacting,” Strick says.  

Those test screenings did pick up one issue though, the original ending, which saw the film conclude immediately after the spider nest is destroyed, fell flat. It was Strick who came up with the idea of showing that the family had moved back to San Francisco.  

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“They wanted something they could shoot in one day. It had to be simple.”  

Billed as the first “thrill-omedy” – a term widely ridiculed by the press at the time – Arachnophobia went on to enjoy modest success at the box office, drawing $53.2 million off a budget of $22 million.  

Strick has his own theory for why the film underwhelmed.  

“I remember my younger sister, Charlotte, told me she couldn’t see it because she was too scared of spiders. I realized a lot of women felt like that. They say when couples go to the movies it’s the female that picks the movies. I’m not sure if that’s true but that’s gospel in Hollywood. I worried that if women were afraid to see it men wouldn’t either.”  

In any case, like many films of the era, Arachnophobia went on to enjoy a second life on video, helped by some standout scares that proved popular with the rewind/slow-motion generation of VHS hounds.  

Remake 

While Strick tends to avoid revisiting his own work, he was pleasantly surprised when rewatching Arachnophobia. 

“I was reluctant to watch it again in case it was a relic of another era of Hollywood but it’s still loads of fun,” he says. “My wife was jumping and shrieking and she’s the ideal audience because she’s terrified with spiders. It’s a very funny movie and yet a lot of people die.”  

With talk of a potential remake on the way, Strick has one bit of advice: “Don’t do it”.  

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“I don’t especially see how or why they would need to remake it for a modern audience. There is something timeless about the original and the way we made it.”  

30 years later, Arachnophobia remains a true one-off.  A film equal parts horror and comedy and one that would fall flat if either side hadn’t been up to muster. In that sense it’s wholly unique and might be better off staying that way.  

The post How Arachnophobia Became the Perfect Creepy Crawly Horror Comedy appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3iQAucQ

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[mrneighbourlove]

Into the Darkness and Unknown: Ch 6. Poking the Bear

The previous skirmish had Echidan doctor’s scrambling about. Luckily, most of the warriors escaped with minor wounds. The other extreme were so who weren’t so lucky as to keep their lives. At the infirmary, Leere was sweating buckets. Her leg twisted with pain from the injuries of the battle against Dio and her demons. Her femur was broken, and she trying to keep her breathing steady.

A Kokyangwuti approached Leere, all eight of the legs tapping against the stone floor. Very gently, she touched the sides of Leere's head. A voice followed through her mind.

"Mother said this spell should help me communicate to you since our tongue is unknown to you." She introduced herself. "I am Nomusa, the younger sister of Negasi and Morowa. You know them as Blue and White." Going around to the side of the bed, magic crackled in her hands. "I will heal your wounds now. This will not hurt. However, you might feel a slight pressure. Are you ready?"

“I’m glad to hear it’s someone I’m somewhat familiar with. Whenever you’re ready good doctor.”

Nomusa repaired Leere's side wounds and her broken leg with ease. The process took several minutes of flesh mending itself together and bone reforming to its usual shape. There was, of course, pressure upon the areas. It felt like someone was putting too much weight on the princess' body. Though, once Nomusa was done, there was not even a scar left from the horrific injuries. It was oddly similar to Bonegrinder's healing magic, or Leere’s own blood magic, though not as dark as the latter.

"Is there pain anywhere else?"

“No. You heal with the care of a blood practitioner. Thank you.” Leere didn’t think a headache counted as pain.

"You do need to eat, hydrate, and rest. I would recommend that you do no strenuous activity for the next few days." Nomusa gently helped Leere into a sitting position. "Do you think you can walk?"

“I can try?” Leere took a few deep breaths, psyching herself up to stand. “This mean no running, fighting or sex for a while?”

"No running, no fighting, no sexual activities, you know how it goes." Nomusa offered a hand to Leere to help her stand. "And make sure you eat meat high in iron for the couple of days to replace what you lost in blood."

“I’d love that.” Leere steadied herself with Nosuma, walking her way across the room. “You know, I actually know your older sisters.”

"Yes, Mother told me you are acquainted very intimately with them." Nomusa grinned. "They have a weakness for females with very large... milk glands."

Leere felt so incredibly small and flustered at the drop of that comment. “My milk glands? ... wow, no ones called me out in that term...”

"Aww, look at that, my sisters were right! You do blush so red with your fair skin." Nomusa giggled in amusement. "In all the times they talked to me, they mentioned how much they adored you. Their 'tiny human princess with the big milk glands'. They brag about how loud they made you moan. Oh! And that you had the best jiggle of an ass anyone had ever seen."

A switch flipped in Leere that took her beyond simple embarrassment. “That’s- I don’t- young lady that is not appropriate of your sisters to boldly talk about me that way.” Leere was mortified that they’d share such intimate knowledge of her.

"...? Why?" Nomusa blinked all eight of her eyes. "We Echidans always speak of intimate issues. It is a beautiful thing! It is how life is formed, how we express our love and lust for one another. It is nothing to be ashamed of! To be the highlight of your partner's sex life is always wonderful!"

Leere’s emotions flared up, her minds racing and disgusted that her trust in the sisters would be abused in her eyes. “You don’t brag about that kind of thing! Not without their consent. Holy gods. They make me sound like a conquest instead of a lover.”

"Conquest? Never! They absolutely adore you." Nomusa said with affirmation. "They always speak highly of you as well. Is this not a thing that Hylians do?"

“Only when they want to be assholes who want to colour someone as a slut. Sex is a modest, personal, and wonderful thing regardless if it comes from lust or love. You should keep what you do between the partners. If you want to know if I moan or have a spankable ass, you can have sex with me yourself to find out. Shame on Blue and White. God damn them! How could they do that to me?”

"Oh... I'm... I apologize, I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it." Nomusa actually looked a bit frantic, thinking she had ruined her sisters' relationship with the pretty human. "Please don't think badly of them, it is normal for them to brag about their lover. The prettier, the louder, the better they are to please their lover." She then paused and said. "If you weren't recovering, I'd take you up on that offer. But you must rest first."

Leere was incredibly miffed, with her sarcasm pouring out bitterly. “Oh, so I’m just pretty and loud to them. Great to know.”

She hobbled down to some earth in the ground, putting her hand to the dirt. She tried to sense where her Dead Hand was. Feeling it out, she felt a very weak presence. Must have been critically injured by the demons. Perhaps even other Echidans.

"No, no, that's not what I meant at all... goodness, I'm not the best with human affairs. Maybe I ought to let Bonegrinder explain it." Nomusa ran her hands down her face. "My sisters adore you because you're not afraid of them, and that you treat them... normally. Most humans scream and run when they see us."

“So, I respect them but they can’t respect me? Why wouldn’t I treat them normally? They couldn’t think the same of me?” Leere focused more on all the dead bodies still on the battlefield in the distance. There souls had since moved on. Shame. Terrible shame she couldn’t help these victims. “Where’s Mother, Nomusa?”

"Of course they respect you, they just... goodness, cultural norms for humans and Echidans are so different. Please don't be angry at them, I'll be sure to tell them to stop speaking of their nocturnal activities pertaining to you." Nomusa apologized to the human. "Mother is watching over Modoc. The one you know as Bonegrinder. She's in her nest."

“I’ll let her attend to him.” Looking up to Nomusa, she raised her brow. Leere shouldn’t direct her anger at the young Kokyangwuti. While it still festered, the necromancer thought of a subject change to bury that anger for now. “How old are you Nomusa?”

"How old I am? I'm 271 years. So... I guess in human years, that would be around... well... an old person," Nomusa sheepishly admitted. "But here, I guess it's the human equivalent to a teenager."

“Is that so? Why didn’t you travel with your older sisters?”

"Our father, Kiume, is getting older in years. I worry for him, and I have found a mate here. Potential mate, really." Nomusa explained to Leere. "I really had no desire to leave home. I'm happy here."

“Potential? You have a crush?”

"Let's just say that my father wants him to prove himself a little." Nomusa shrugged lightly. "I am the youngest, so he's pretty protective of me."

“You have a lover before?”

"Lovers? Yes. One I was interested in being mated to? Not really." Nomusa sighed, almost dreamily. "Until Gebhuza... he has the biggest muscles and is so fast, and spins such lovely webs. He even brings me fresh kills so I can feast on the blood. His dick is awfully nice---oops, sorry, I forgot human didn't like to talk about that."

Last thing Leere wanted to think about was monster dick at the moment. “Right… If you love him though, why offer your bedside to me?”

"Echidnans are not monogamous unless specified." Nomusa told Leere. "Gebhuza has had many lovers before too. If he desires me as a mate, then yes, I will only breed with him. Though sometimes, we cannot resist a good foursome. It's more fun for all the parties involved. My sisters used to share lovers all the time."

“I know a thing about that.” Echidnans were so wild. The cute arachnid wasn’t too tall, so to appease her own curiosity, Leere cupped Nomusa’s cheeks, giving her a sudden and deep kiss. Another truth was she was festering an anger at Blue and White for not keeping their threesomes and orgies to themselves, and wanted to get back by tasting the youngest sister. Once again, she was a fuel source of lust to monsters with her touch. “That means you’re ok with something like that?”

Nomusa purred. Loudly.

"Yes, very much so." She then returned the affection with a kiss of her own, sliding her tongue over Leere's. "You know, some of kind make such lovely aphrodisiacs... if you ever want to try one."

“I might. Too bad you said that sex is off the table for now. You should know I AM the aphrodisiac.” God, that tongue was so thick. With a light teasing purr herself, Leere sat herself down on a bench. Maybe she’d fool around, maybe she wouldn’t. Either way, it was magnificent kiss.

"Yes, sex is off the table until you recover." Nomusa reminded Leere. "At least for three days. You need time for your body to recover for the blood loss. I can heal you, but replacing blood is very tricky."

“Well, I suppose it would be humane to wait and not rely on sacrifice to restore my energy.” Leere chuckled, putting one leg over the other. “Don’t know how much longer we’ll be staying in Omisha for.”

"If you are staying for a few more days, I'd be happy to show you around---!!!" Nomusa heard yelling from the other private infirmary room. With a deep sigh, she told Leere. "Excuse me, one moment..." She skittered off in the direction and yelled. "Zubeka! What did I tell you about trying to undress the human male?!"

"I'm trying to get him to take off his armor so I can inspect his body for injuries!" Zubeka was a Kokyangwuti like Nomusa, but absolutely huge. She resembled that of a tarantula. "He's being stubborn!"

Malik happened to be sitting for an update on Leere, when the large arachnid insisted and, out of no where, tried to disrobe him out of his bloody armour. For her efforts, she had one of her hands twisted, having only taken a single gauntlet from him. “Touch me again and I’ll see to that your Matriarch finds out you tried to handle me on your own without my permission. Or I tear the hand off if you find that less dangerous.”

"Mother told me to check on you, you stubborn little brat!" Zubeka was certainly more outspoken than Nomusa or her twin sisters for that matter. "Hmph. He needs a spanking."

"He's not one of your cocoonlings, Zu."

"Still! He has no manners!"

"Just politely ask him to take off his armor and then he might listen---"

"Are you kidding me? Males never listen, they're all hardheaded."

"Good goddesses, I'll do it then." Nomusa approached Malik with a slight bow. "I apologize for the misunderstanding, Malik. Mother is simply worried for your well being. Might I examine you?"

“I’m over five-hundred years old you fat Skulltala.” Malik shifted his gaze to the younger doctor. “I have no sustained injuries. The most I took was being thrown into some rubble. You may not examine me. Focus on the princess that I brought here.”

"See? Ought to be his ass into the ground." Zubeka huffed with crossed arms.

"And wash his mouth out with ghost peppers."

"Leere is all well, she is fully healed. She only requires rest." Nomusa was going to try to mull the situation over as best she could. "Please, Malik, I do not understand the concept of human modesty, but I do know that if you do not allow me or Zubeka to examine you, Mother herself will do so. I only ask that you allow us to carry out our orders. I will not even lay a leg on you, just merely allow me to look to ascertain there is no internal bleeding."

As a point of defiance, he grabbed a blue potion from his pocket. He lifted his helmet up just enough to pour the contents down his throat. He left out a long, content sigh, his body being physically and magically healed. “I’ve never felt better. Thank you doctor for looking after Leere.”

"... a healing potion? Against demonic magic? Girl, this one done knocked himself silly," Zubeka scoffed. "He a fool if he thinks that will help. Come get me if he starts convulsing." With that, the larger spider-woman tapped off into the hallway.

"Good goddesses help me..." Nomusa sighed in irritation. "Very well. Mother will do this one herself. You may go see the princess now if you wish it."

“Good.” Malik made his way down to Leere, grabbing a few more potions. “She fixed your bones and internal bleeding?”

“Yes. What was the yelling for?”

He handed her two more potions, one red and one green. “Take a health and stamina potion. This should shave off your waiting time. We’re going to see Bonegrinder.”

The princess did so, feeling like she could walk briskly now. She was still in a sour mood from the battle and the breach of trust she felt. “I unsure if he’ll want to see us.”

“We have matters to discuss. Let’s go.”

Back at the temple, Mother was on her throne, magic sprawled across the air in front of her. She was making sure to reinforce the barrier, stretching it over Omisha's border once more. Now, it kept not only Malus separate, but most of Al-Daida as well. This was a difficult task, and one which required much energy. Yet, if it kept her children safe, she would see to it every single day. When Malik and Leere entered the room, she was pleased to see both of them were up and without pain. Yet, she did not smell healing magic on Malik. "... hm... did Zubeka nor Nomusa check you for injuries, Malik?" Mother waved away the magical particles and approached the pair. "Demonic magic, even if not a direct hit, can still effect a living being in a negative manner."

Malik bowed his head respectfully. “They would have found a trace of demonic presence they could never remove. I deemed it best to not worry them since I lacked injuries. My concern was for the princess.”

"Nevertheless, you will allow my healers to at least inspect you the next time there is a possibility of injury. Is that clear?" Mother's voice held no room for argument. "I will not have an ambassador of Hyrule dying on my doorstep because of his ego. Do you understand, Lord Malik?"

Malik bowed his head once again. “Understood.”

With that matter sorted, he looked up to Mother, a more serious aura felt around him. “What in blazes is Bonegrinder. He held the same magic as Teufel.”

"Bonegrinder is an Anagari and is not only that. He is more. This knowledge will not leave this Temple, Malik and Leere. It is critical to keep under wraps until the time is right... however much more time we may have on this earth." Mother used her magic to display a figure of the brother gods, Maker and Destroyer. "He is a deity bound in flesh form. Yet, his mind is scrambled. Between his life as a god and his life as an Anagari, he cannot process the two at the same time. Thus, accounting for random bursts of magic, visions, and confusion."

“He’s another god. Yet one that’s failed in bonding with a mortal.” Malik found this information highly intriguing. “Do you think he’s a threat to any of us?”

"Modoc... Bonegrinder, is the host. The memories did not even resurface until an attack hundreds of years ago." Mother frowned. "It was not supposed to happen then. His memories were supposed to return at a later time, but the recesses of Modoc's mind cracked when he spiraled into insanity, thus allowing his true nature, the deity to leak through." She paused when Malik asked if she thought the Anagari was a threat. "Why? Do you believe him to be dangerous?"

“I know he’s dangerous. I’m asking if you think he’s a threat to our realm.”

"No." Mother answered Malik. "But I sense you do not believe the same."

“I’m wise enough to know that gods, meaning to or not, bring destruction and death to life. Either he be passive or bloodthirsty will remain to be seen.”

"Perhaps so. Perhaps not. Only time will tell." Mother then said. "Modoc is still recovering from battle. You will have to speak to him later when he is conscious."

"Believe me, I will. Given that we do not know what time we have, I will start to build my forces in Hyrule to contend against Teufel or whatever God deems that they can destroy our world. Mother, as Lord of Hyrule, I ask for a change in our partnership. I am the only one who understands the length of Teufel's danger. Not only that, but I don't believe King Covarog or Queen Zarazu will ever be ready in dealing directly with you. I wish that you come directly to me with matters that concern the relationship of Omisha and Hyrule."

Leere glanced to Malik, caught completely off guard that he'd throw her brother and sister-in-law under the bridge like that. "What?"

"I have been a monster myself. I understand us. I can easily believe that given your mannerisms and presence, the King and Queen would not be able to maturely handle negotiating with you in person. They are jaded to monsters given their experiences with Vul'kar and his Abyssians. The King has always been cautious in dealing with outside nations. With this said, I believe that until one of their children can take the throne with clear, fresh eyes, I should reign as Hyrule's head negotiator for Omisha. Is this acceptable to you?"

"Hrm... I have heard the Queen of Lorleidians is less hotheaded than her husband, though I have heard rumors of the king being... biased." Mother tapped her claws on her throne's arm, thinking. It was a bit of a predicament, what Malik was suggesting. Keeping this alliance in the dark from the leaders of Hyrule was a risky tactic. One day, the nation would be a key player in the battle against Chaos. "You truly deem her unable to discuss such matters with me?"

“I do. She’s kind, but I suspect she’d be fearful of your appearance.”

"Of me? When she has a dragon at her side?" Mother thought this was odd. "It always struck me that dragons were the more fearsome creatures... then again, she is probably used to the dragons."

“I think she’d see you more akin to Vul’kar than one of her... children.” It took all his control to not call Ba’puu and his kin pests.

"And Leere? What do you think of Malik's suggestion?" Mother wanted to know her opinion.

Leere stared at Malik in a bit of disbelief. “What power grab are you trying to make here? Where’s your loyalty to my brother?”

“This fight that will happen will not be Covarog’s or Zarazu’s. Their destinies were fulfilled in stopping Vul’kar. I foresee it will be an oldest and youngest generation who will need to take up arms.”

"That is partly true, Malik... it will be their eldest daughter who will be pivotal in the future to help fight against Chaos." Mother then gestured to the lord. "And it will be your duty to ensure she is safe as well as trained. She will have to know how to fight."

“The Gerudo Queen will be ready when her time comes. Until then, I ask you deal directly with me.”

"Do you trust this plan, Leere?"

“...as I’ve said before, I trust Malik to do his duty.” To be honest, Leere wasn’t sure what Malik was scheming. Was he intent on taking the throne? This new light of information made the necromancer’s views on the Gerudo shift uncomfortably.

"Very well... though before we go on with the discussion of the future, there is one issue I'd like to remark upon," Mother then narrowed her eyes at Leere. "What was my one explicit command of you whilst you were in Omisha?"

“Pardon?” Leere was taken by surprise once again, with the conversation being shifted to her. “To be the most respectful and to not use necrotic magic on your dead.”

"On the dead. That translate to no necromancy at all." Mother looked very disappointed, and sounded as if she were scolding a child. "You are very lucky that my children did not perceive you in alliance with the Mortuus girl who came through here wrecking havoc."

“Are you speaking of my Dead Hand? It’s a conjuration construct that happens to be undead. I used it to help even the odds against those demons. I didn’t raise any fresh bodies to fight our enemies.” Leere looked visibly worried she crossed a line too far. However, another thought of hers was wondering why Mother couldn’t trust her to keep herself in control. “I acted in the moment.”

"Acting in the moment can be very dangerous in these parts, Leere. The reason I forbade your type of magic is due to the unease of my children." Mother told the princess. "What if one of them had reacted and cut you down? Mistaking you for an enemy? I would not have been able to stop their action in time."

The thought being the victim of friendly fire only made Leere’s anger spike. “My magic isn’t evil Mother. I’m not evil.”

"I know that. But do you think all of my children believe that?" Mother had to poke a hole in her logic. "Hylians once deemed all Gerudo evil. Danjurans believe all sea serpents are evil. Labrynnas believe dragons to be evil. Do you understand what I am telling you?"

“You’re all ignorant then?!” Leere didn’t realize she was standing defiantly until the bones in her back popped straight. “I saw an evil woman of my people. But you know what, there’s going to be good and evil found on all sides! Maybe I can be what teaches your people to not fear such magic. What’s going to happen instead; you put a barrier around all of Omisha?” Leere wasn’t standing down, and Malik wasn’t stopping her. “I saw a threat to your people and I did what I felt I needed to do to protect your people! To protect children like Solani!”

"We are not ignorant, Leere, we are cautious. You have not yet suffered at the hands of a Mortuus. My children have." Mother glared at the princess. "I need not tell you of Zarazu's battle with Vul'kar. If an Abyssian showed up on her doorstep, proclaiming to be innocent, do you not think she would be wary? This is to protect you, young princess. Do not make the mistake of using such magic again. The last thing I want is for you body to be buried here instead of at home with your family due to a case of mistaking you for an enemy." She then added, "And it's not just you, Leere. Malik is a human. My children are even wary of them, just like humans are wary of us. Your magic will not save you from an Echidnan who wishes you dead. I want you safe from harm here, yet you must do your part to be cautious as well. Do you understand?"

“That’s a load of shit.” Leere pointed at herself, her emotions reaving up now that her emotion wall was breaking down. How dare anyone tell her that she didn’t know suffering, or that they knew what was best for her. All the disrespect she felt finally was verbalized. “I was sexually violated by a Hylian as fucking child. You don’t think I don’t worry about Hylians? Worry about men in general? For someone who dabbles in darkness, I don’t slink away in my shadows. I’ve suffered, but I make the choice to see there are innocents among Hyrule. People that I can love. Apparently, unlike you and your people, I’m not a goddamn coward who lets my fears of others get the better of me! I wasn’t raised to be constantly in fear and needing to look over my shoulders. I look at the kids here and I see their curiosity, only for them to be spirited away before I have the chance to really breakthrough to them. Now maybe you might have a point, with what you see as enemies on all sides, but all you teach your people is fear when you can’t even give them a chance to build positive relationships with people like me. People who want to share hope! If they see a friend as an enemy due to their ignorance, then you’re all doomed to be isolated and alone!”

She stabbed a finger towards Mother, more fury directed directly to her. “You want to protect me? How about you stop lying to me first! I know for damn certain that you didn’t find that Mortuus three-hundred years ago. The kingdom of Lorleidi is older than that! You think lying to me makes me feel protected? All it tells me is that I can’t trust you! And how dare any of you assume I need protection! I’m choose to stand my ground against people who’d use darkness for insidious purposes. I would gladly lay down my life to protect you, Malik, Bonegrinder, my family, or even another Mortuus who’s innocent or good willed! So yes, if an Abyssisn came to Zarazu with good intentions I’d hold her to give them a chance! Meeting this Dio has also taught me one thing! If there are Mortuus who have been suffering for centuries, then they should have been saved long ago! How- how dare you! You should have reached out long ago to others who’d help! There have always been those throughout history who would never turn a blind eye to suffering, so don’t you lie to me that you couldn’t! find help for your people!”

Her breathing was getting ragged. God, when did she start crying? “I’m so sick of others thinking they can hand wave a whole culture as one thing. I’m so sick of them pretending they’re all alone with their own issues. If you honestly think that your people can’t accept me as a friend, that all Mortuus are evil, then perhaps Bonegrinder and the others were right. Maybe there was nothing of value to learn in Omisha! I don’t care about Malik’s stupid power grab to have allies. I came here to learn about your culture! To learn about Malus. You want to know my take away so far? The country of Malus is full of suffering, and god knows how long it’s been allowed to stew that way. What take away should I take from Omisha Mother!? What should I go back to Hyrule knowing? That little Solani can make friends with humans? Or that she’ll just continue to hold onto fear and share that into the next generation?”

"... are you done?" Mother did not look amused. She'd allow the princess her little outburst. Human emotions were volatile. "Or do you have more to say?"

No where. Leere felt that she suddenly wasn’t going to get anywhere with the matriarch. “I’m done.” Leere’s eyes were puffy as she silently calmed down.

"You have your view, I have mine. I must do what I think is best for my people." Mother told Leere sternly, not allowing her mind to be swayed. "After my people are comfortable with you, then I will consider usage of your magic. Trust is built very carefully and sometimes takes a long while to earn, princess. Not in one visit." She then added, "I will not reach out to help a country and risk the lives of my children when said country has had part in the demise of mine for so long. If there are innocents out there like the one Mortuus who met an untimely death in my borders, then I will consider it. But I cannot, will not, take the risk on a 'what if'. I need evidence. I need an attempt to make peace. And thus far, that has not been done, Leere." Mother was older and wiser than Leere or Malik and knew how to handle such delicate matters. "What you should take away from Omisha is what humans deem of us and what we deem of humans is not necessarily true in all circles. We Echidnans are a peaceful race... unless provoked."

“I didn’t use my magic in your land, until I was provoked.” Leere bowed her head low.

"True, yet, I asked you not to use it. There are others ways to fight than to relay on magic." Mother then told the princess, without room for argument. "For your safety, do not use it here in Omisha."

“I can’t do that if it means the death of one of your people.” Leere shook her head. “I can strain myself to use other resources, but I can’t let an innocent die if it means I didn’t give it my all.” This didn’t even include her own self-preservation.

"Then you understand that I will not be held responsible if one of my children attacks you out of fear?"

“I’d welcome it if it meant changing their viewpoint.”

"Hmm... this matter will be discussed at a later point when I have had time to address all of my children." Mother still did not look too pleased with the princess' outburst. Just because she had her opinion did not mean it was right. Then again, Mother knew that even she could be wrong. Yet, she could not risk it right now. There was too much at stake. "Malik... you had other questions concerning the future?"

Malik glared furiously at Leere. Even if she was right, there was a time and place. The Necromancer might have shattered his careful planning. “Is Bonegrinder awake?”

"No, he is not." Mother shook her head. "He is very unstable right now and in quite some pain."

“Then we will wait until he is awake and well. Please call for us if you desire anything.”

"For now, waiting is all we can do." Mother sighed, looking weary. "Malik do see that Leere is properly rested. The incidents have definitely caused a shock to her system. Do obtain some rest yourself. Do you need an escort back to the huts?"

“Shock? I’d think you’d be the last to accuse someone of hysteria.” Leere was so close to flipping Mother the bird and snapping at her further. Instead, she stormed off back to the hut to sleep the rest of the day off.

"... Malik." Mother turned her focus to the young lord. "Leere allows her emotions to rule her. This kind of incident cannot happen again."

The Gerudo Lord frowned behind his helmet. “What do you expect me to do?”

"I expect you to caution the princess of her behavior. If she cannot handle her emotions, then I will find another diplomat from Hyrule who can who hails from the royal family." Mother warned Malik. "While I trust you to handle these affairs, I will speak to Ralnor if need be. He is the only other one in the family who knows of our existence here."

“You cannot trust Ralnor. If anything, you can take from her outburst as a sign you can trust her the most.”

"... I will contemplate upon your words."

Ralnor was the last person Malik wanted to work with. The Prince would no doubt ruin his own plans for the future. “She wears her heart on her sleeve openly for all to see. Leere will respect your wishes, trust me. The princess simply felt hurt that you would not trust her abilities. What’s more... she cares about your people. I doubt Ralnor has the heart for that.”

"I believe Modoc's words that Leere is trustworthy, but I must see it for myself, as you must do the same with me. Trust will not be earned overnight, Malik. This you know all too well." Mother then rose from her throne. "I will go to check on Modoc. I do not know how long it will be until he is recovered."

“I’m certain that you will have it in no time.” Malik said his polite goodbyes and returned to the hut to find Leere head down as she sat in a seat.

“You must hate me. I can understand if you do. Was stupid of me to speak my mind like that to her. Jeopardized too much for Hyrule.”

A silence filled the room, leaving Malik unsure how to reply. He raised an arm, pausing behind her. Despite the potential to ruin his relationship with Mother, Malik couldn’t help be impressed in retrospect at her courage to speak up her frustrations. Content on his choice, he laid a hand on her shoulder. “You spoke what you felt was right. You spoke from your soul. You were very brave Leere.”

The princess looked to him, a heavy weight leaving her my mind. All it took was one person to believe in her. “Thank you, Malik.”

The Gerudo wasn’t the best at human interaction on a healing level, at least not with those he didn’t consider close family or soldiers under his command. “Perhaps we should rest.”

Leere sensed his small worry. Grasping his hand, she smoothly assured him he was fine. “Yes... I think that’d be nice. Sleep well Malik.”

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/190819547466/into-the-darkness-and-unknown-ch-5-a-blink-into

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/190931724986/into-the-darkness-and-unknown-ch-7-the-burden-of

#crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #Omisha #Malus #Echidnans #Malik #Leere #Bonegrinder #Mother #Love to listen to comments!

[verdigrisprowl]

Mar 25 Dancitron Movie Night - Christopher Robin

While Winnie the Pooh played sweetly in the background, Soundwave and Swoop did their level best to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.

It was a hell of a movie night.

Specs Yesterday at 7:40 PM ((FUCK but I hate rabbit rn)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:40 PM (( oh worm Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:40 PM ((Believe me, me too.)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:41 PM ((HEY JUST SO YALL KNOW:)) Specs Yesterday at 7:42 PM ((me: enters correct password rabbit: your password is incorrect! me: rechecks and re-enters password rabbit: your password is incorrect! me: resets password and then enters new password rabbit: your password is incorrect!)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:42 PM ((when you use asterisks * or underscores _ around a word, it auto-converts into formatting, like this or this. and if you copy/paste text from discord to somewhere else, it doesn't save the formatting OR the original symbols)) ((as your friendly neighborhood chat log keeper, it'd make my job a lot easier if y'all used something other than asterisks to indicate actions while we're in discord, so i don't have to manually go back and insert asterisks every where y'all used them.)) Specs Yesterday at 7:43 PM (( :thumbsup: )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) pinned a message to this channel. See all the pins. Yesterday at 7:43 PM Soundwave (Slenderwave) pinned a message to this channel. See all the pins. Yesterday at 7:43 PM Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:43 PM ((thanks!)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:43 PM (( how about we all use prose and "dialogue" ??? Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:44 PM ((agreed)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) pinned a message to this channel. See all the pins. Yesterday at 7:44 PM Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:44 PM Soundwave's ready to go tonight. He's got the sweetest movie he could possibly find, and he knows that that's the case because Zori's the one who recommended it. Anything from Zori has to be the softest, most adorable thing to watch ever. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:44 PM ((........................ jesus fuck)) ((i just tried to copy/paste the text that you dropped in rabbit, just to see)) ((and it copy/pasted the name & time just fine)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:45 PM ((WHAT)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:45 PM ((YEAH)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:45 PM ((it doesn't for me!!!!)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:45 PM ((in that case it's the modifications i made to the extension last time apparently)) ((which means it'll probably still do the OTHER thing that made it annoying, only allowing copy/paste of a small handful of messages at a time. so it's probably still better to be in here.)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:46 PM ((yep)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 7:46 PM ((might be yeah)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:46 PM ((we can experiment with it another time though)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 7:47 PM ((Trying to think of what to do to denote action. Might just do lazy prose and quotes idk Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:47 PM ((also we're gonna start around 8:10)) Specs Yesterday at 7:48 PM ((what was the maximum amount of messages that it would copy, or was it a word-length thing?)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:48 PM ((one screen's worth)) Specs Yesterday at 7:48 PM ((gotcha o7)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:48 PM ((little enough to make it annoying)) Chaoit Yesterday at 7:48 PM ((oh joy)) Windchill Yesterday at 7:48 PM (( I thought prose and quotes was a lot easier to write in anyway, might just be me being a weirdo though. )) (( ...actually that's probably because it forces everyone to slow down and makes it easier for chronic multitaskers like me to keep up with chat, so that's probably it. NEVER MIND. )) Specs Yesterday at 7:50 PM (( /me pats chill )) Windchill Yesterday at 7:51 PM (( Today we learned that I am actively creating my own problems as usual lol. )) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:51 PM Prowl shows up for the first time in a few weeks; but almost immediately sits and focuses on the screen. And its... not very enthralling nature scenery. Fascinating. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:52 PM (( OOPS i took the remote Windchill Yesterday at 7:52 PM (( You're FIRED. )) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:52 PM (( :fire: :fire: :fire: Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 7:52 PM ((I, Tarantulas, am now leader of dancitron)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:53 PM Soundwave immediately twists to greet and ping Prowl. Usually they don't get much time before everyone rolls in. [[Good evening.]] Bee Yesterday at 7:53 PM (( quick, dance off with BOTH Soundwave and Blaster )) Chaoit Yesterday at 7:53 PM ((NEVER)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:53 PM He nods vaguely. "Evening." Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:54 PM (( oh man wow i forgot i have hair dye in my hair, GOTTA GO RINSE. tarantulas will be l8 Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:54 PM ((when tarantulas shows up, he's orange)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 7:54 PM (( i mean my hair is like orange pink i think so........ Chaoit Yesterday at 7:54 PM ((that'd be a sight Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:54 PM ((lucky guess! Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:55 PM [[You seem rather... intent, tonight.]] ((i see a new person! hello new person!)) MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 7:56 PM Scoots in. Windchill Yesterday at 7:56 PM (( OH SHIT. )) Chaoit Yesterday at 7:56 PM ((annnd gimme a sec Windchill Yesterday at 7:56 PM (( Tormentor. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:57 PM Ah, and there's the other company, right on schedule. One day he really must have a Prowl-only showing just for them. Then they won't need to worry about packing everything in before the others arrive. [[Perceptor, is it?]] He nods toward the thing on the mech's shoulder. Not many of that going around. Lieu Yesterday at 7:57 PM (( Figured I'd bring the sociable one for once)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 7:57 PM "Hm? No, just—preoccupied. For the last couple of weeks." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 7:57 PM Swoop flies a few laps around Dancitron before eventually living up to his name by swooping down. He transforms at the last possible moment so he can sliiiiiiide through the door. This Dinobot is all grins. Lieu Yesterday at 7:57 PM (( Promise not to punch Windchill! )) Chaoit Yesterday at 7:58 PM ((KIWI 20%wurmple Yesterday at 7:58 PM Swerve wanders in and drops into the closest seat. MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 7:58 PM //sorry my WiFi is crapping out and won’t send the reply to slendey :sob: 20%wurmple Yesterday at 7:58 PM Slowly. And carefully, with his arms out feeling things so he doesn't walk into them. Windchill Yesterday at 7:58 PM (( Hmmm it's neutral ground so he'll settle for glaring across the room at all times. Might as well go post-fight on this. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 7:58 PM ((that's all right, just repost it and if it shows  up twice nbd)) Lieu Yesterday at 7:59 PM (( Si si)) Specs Yesterday at 7:59 PM The dragon comes in with her cartful of treats- and something else! It's a very, very sizable box. Looks like you could fit a xenomorph queen in there without too much trouble, in fact. A very large label says "FOR BUZZSAW" on it. The glut of pterodactyl-shaped gummis in the treat cart are perhaps a way to assure the other sibling that she was not forgotten either. MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 7:59 PM Perceptor has no idea who this mech is. “It is! I’m a little new to the multiverse so I thought I’d just... jump right into it.” Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 7:59 PM "Bird?" Swoop scampers around, head going this way and that. "Bird!" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:00 PM [[Understandable.]] Curious head tilt. [[Is there - anything he can help you with?]] And Soundwave will bob his helm at Swerve, Swoop - nice job there - and the dragon. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:00 PM //ugh, come ON chrome just load rabbit already u useless lump Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:00 PM Has arrived and--makes a beeline toward Swerve instead of going to the usual spot. "Are you all right?" 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:00 PM "Nnnno. My visor's on the fritz. Should be fixed soon." MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:00 PM "Ah, no for now I think I'm gathering some good data on it by observation. However, I will definitely ask if there's anything I'd like more information on." Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:01 PM "Do you require assistance?" Specs Yesterday at 8:01 PM The dragon bobs her head and churrs right back at Soundwave. She's honestly not sure where to put Buzzsaw's box, so she's just kind of scooted it towards the stairs for now. That's good enough, right? Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:01 PM "Perceptor. Hello." A nod in his direction. "You've worked out multiversal travel?" Bee Yesterday at 8:01 PM Bee saunters in with a few packs of rust sticks. He places them on the bar, then makes his way to an empty spot. He doesn't know too many bots this time around, so he gives a little awkward wave. "Hi everyone." 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:01 PM "I might, not sure." MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:01 PM "Somewhat! Mostly catching rides from other people until we can manage a safe way to travel through other verses." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:01 PM Swoop hops on top of the bar. "Bird?" Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:02 PM Will offer an arm out for him to latch onto then. There's a joke here about the blind leading the blind, but Prowl's not funny enough to make it. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:02 PM }}Is it here? Is it here!?{{ Buzzsaw's going to circle the dragon like a vulture.

Soundwave had actually meant that question for Prowl, but it serves rather well for Perceptor too; he offers Perceptor a polite nod of agreement. He'll answer what he can without putting too many things at risk. [[There's no Bird tonight, Swoop.]] [[Welcome, Bumblebee. Thank you for the contribution.]] 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:02 PM He appreciates thr gesture enough to pat Prowl. "Thanks." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:03 PM "Why?" He shuffles onto the very edge of the bar, holding on with his toes. "Me Swoop want to show her something! Video! Kehehhehehh! It good." Lieu Yesterday at 8:03 PM Tormentor hasn't been to any of these Multiverse gatherings before, and they're quite a sight. He only knows the fly-guy who spit on him and everyone else he recognizes are Autobots. He'll try to avoid them so as not to spur any multi-dimensional arguing. Windchill Yesterday at 8:03 PM Rebel trots in, nearly dragging Windchill by his giant hand in her excitement. The latter looks worse for wear, and is definitely too lazy to walk any faster despite Rebel's attempts at dragging him in. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:03 PM Nods and they can both make their way to a nearby table together then. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:04 PM And he's made his way in. Still perpetually tired, but looks a bit more relived this time. "Hey, not late, am I?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:04 PM Prowl thought Soundwave's question was for him until Perceptor answered it; so he ends up answering with a vague shrug, so he can play it off like he's shrugging at nothing in particular in case it really wasn't for him. Windchill Yesterday at 8:04 PM Rebel points at the screen, practically bouncing in place once she's got her lazy bum of a dad through the door. "Earth!" Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:05 PM Rebel's shout drew his attention. Swoop's head snapped from Soundwave to her in an instant. "REBEL!" Specs Yesterday at 8:05 PM "It's here!" Oh thank the Goddess, Buzzsaw isn't off doing something, she can just drop this off with him. "Some assembly required, I'm afraid- I don't doubt you can figure that part out on your own, but there's a manual packed in there in case you have to ask other people to help you with the assembly part."

Sorry, Buzzsaw, but while the box has wheels for her to shove it around, she's only the size of a fox. She will not be helping you take it upstairs. It's heavy enough just to push around! 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:06 PM Swerve jerks in surprise when his fiddling finally fixes his stupid visor, blinking. "Huh. Okay, that fixed it. Thanks Prowl." Windchill Yesterday at 8:06 PM "Swoop!" She drops Windchill's hand to scamper over, but Swoop is up to high for a hug so she bounces in place some more. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:07 PM Pulls her arm away as quickly and politely as she can. "You're welcome." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:07 PM Swoop launches himself off the bar and onto Rebel without hesitation. "H!" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:07 PM [[Because she is busy. Leave a copy of the video for her and she will see it later.]] Soundwave's busy watching everyone come in - oh, there's another one he doesn't recognize; expanding crowd tonight - and recording where they're all going so he knows who is seated where in the event something terrible happens. A fire, or what have you.

}}I shall take it upstairs at once! Here, move.{{ Buzzsaw will get his feelers around that and hoist it up like it's nothing. It doesn't weigh as much as a helicopter, after all. ((WE START IN TWO MINUTES and honestly i can't think of too many warnings if any off the top of my head because it's Christopher Robin. a nod to WWII happening, some insensitivity on the part of some board members near the end.)) Lieu Yesterday at 8:08 PM Tormentor can try to promise no fires. Windchill Yesterday at 8:09 PM This causes Rebel to windmill her arms in a futile attempt at staying upright, and for Windchill to squawk. Here he was going to sit down quietly, and already you two are causing a ruckus! 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:09 PM //oooh i watched this in theaters it's good Lieu Yesterday at 8:09 PM Tormentor, however, will not promise there won't be any smoking Windchill Yesterday at 8:09 PM (( I watched the first half last night but got pulled away so that works out pretty well lololol. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:10 PM [[You there - over to the right.]] He's thinking to Tormentor. [[Name and faction for the record, please.]]

As for that shrug... he doesn't know what to make of it, so he'll send Prowl an acknowledgment ping. All things in time, he supposes. Specs Yesterday at 8:10 PM The dragon watches in awe and admiration- after moving her furry butt out of Buzzsaw's way, of course. She's the luckiest dragon alive. She gets to watch all these amazing minicons and Soundwave do the coolest things she could think of. And the price of admission is making snacks.

Speaking of the snacks, she should probably get those unpacked before Swoop takes it into his head to sit in the cart like the world's stickiest nest. Hatchlings do that sort of thing. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:11 PM Swoop is in absolute stitches already. He's not afraid of the floor. Either she finds a way to support him or they both eat dirt. He's here either way. (Although his wings reflexively move to balance things.) Bee Yesterday at 8:11 PM Bee's apertures go as wide as he can. He knows exactly which movie this is. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:12 PM Soundwave motions for Ravage to lend the dragon a feeler while nobody's asking for snacks. There will be a spot open for her when she's ready to settle down and sit. Windchill Yesterday at 8:12 PM Nope. She lands on her butt, but (heh,) her cackling is enough to ease Windchill off of intervening. Close one. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:12 PM Hm. Looks like Bumblebee's interested in this one. Lieu Yesterday at 8:12 PM .... It's not everyday one hears the voice in your head so clearly. Tormentor was certain he had heard the last of it ages ago. "Ummm, sure, Decepticon Commander Tormentor of Tyrest." 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:12 PM Swerve pings Percy to come join him. MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:12 PM Blinks! And comes over to sit next to Swerve. He knows this mech. They spoke once, he thinks. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:13 PM There's singing animals. Prowl watches them suspiciously. Are any of them... dogs. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:13 PM What a name. Soundwave wondered if they ever lived up to it. Not every mech did. Bloodrage flipped to pacifism early in the war. [[Tyrest. City or mech?]] 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:13 PM "Hey Percy!" He doesn't think any are dogs, but the Eeyore one has four legs and it's gray so maybe a wolf? Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:13 PM This Eeyore looks like a dog. Bee Yesterday at 8:14 PM He sends off a ping to Soundwave, only containing the :sob: emoji. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:14 PM With a minimal amount of twisting and wiggling, Swoop manages to end up sitting on Rebel's chest. He's light-weight but also scrawny enough to be pokey. How comfortable this is is debatable. But he's certainly looking pleased with himself. "Uncle?" MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:14 PM "Hi Swerve! I haven't seen you in awhile." Bee Yesterday at 8:14 PM "...So. The real question here is who is more of a Tigger: Swoop or Swerve?" 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:14 PM "What?" Lieu Yesterday at 8:15 PM "Heh, I get that a lot: city. Never met the mech in my life." And Tormentor indeed has lived up to his name. All too well in his corner of the universe. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:15 PM [[A what?]] And what is this emoji? He thought Bee was interested, not sad. A ping of a single question mark back. Windchill Yesterday at 8:15 PM "Huh?" Rebel blinks, looking confused as all hell. "I have two uncles!" Bee Yesterday at 8:15 PM "The one who bounces a lot. That's Tigger. Who acts more like him?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:15 PM Soundwave looks to Prowl. He's looking rather suspicious of an innocent gathering of fuzzy Earth beasts. Expecting them to go wild and eat the human, is he? 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:15 PM "Swoop." Bee Yesterday at 8:15 PM "I think Prowl might be Owl." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:16 PM "NO no, keheheh. Uncle means---" He looks towards his name. "What?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:16 PM "Huh?" He heard his name. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:16 PM [[Understood, Tormenter. Thank you. Note that this is a neutral zone; if you can keep to that, you are welcome to enjoy your stay.]] 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:16 PM "Nothing Swoop." Bee Yesterday at 8:17 PM Make no mistake, he's very interested in this movie. There's something a little melancholy about it that gets to him. Probably because it reminds him of Raf. :: It's like watching a friend grow up. You'll see. :: Windchill Yesterday at 8:17 PM Windchill snorts and sits down, only just now noticing Tormentor. Fantastic. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:17 PM [[And he supposes Swoop is more like Tigger. Swerve has been nothing but composed and responsible.]] Chaoit Yesterday at 8:17 PM And he's going to sit down, somewhere. Not sure where, but a free seat. To watch whatever's on the screen. Specs Yesterday at 8:18 PM The dragon takes her spot now that snacks are unloaded, and bites her tongue on any comments noting that Swoop is also the only Swoop. It it unwise to tempt the universe, and the thought of Multi-Swoop Drifting is to horrifying to comprehend. Lieu Yesterday at 8:18 PM "Given the mecha here, I figured as much." Tormentor taps at his head, "Don't you worry, Sub-conscious, we're not going to fight tonight." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:18 PM Swoop remains firmly seated on Rebel's chest while this discussion goes on. "Wonderful thing about tiggers, kehehheh!" Okay, there might be a little bounce in his 'firm" seat. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:18 PM [[A sweet sentiment.]] And one he's suspicious of, after what Bee said. He'll nod to Blaster and keep himself glued to the screen. More or less. He's still very curious about this Owl creature just mentioned in comparison to Prowl. Is he a logical one? Soundwave huffs in amusement. Subconscious. He likes that. Windchill Yesterday at 8:20 PM Windchill squints as aggressively as a squint can be squinted, but offers no comment. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:20 PM Tarantulas isn't too l8! In he comes, then halts near the back, immediately wary of how terribly many people there are here tonight, several of which he hasn't met. Give him a moment to scope things out before sneaking to a seat. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:20 PM Swoop waves at Tarantulas from his seat on another poor soul's chest. Just a normal movie night. Windchill Yesterday at 8:20 PM "Swoop!" Rebel tries to push him off. "I can't see movie from down here!" Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:21 PM Prowl quietly leans against Soundwave. Windchill Yesterday at 8:21 PM She kicks her legs, in case it helps. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:21 PM Oh? Oh, that's nice. He'll lean back. Unexpected and nice. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:21 PM He has not yet noticed... the spide. Lieu Yesterday at 8:21 PM Tormentor can't help but glance up. He feels a squint but he's pretty sure Lieutenant isn't here so who-- Oh, it's the Spittaker 9000 Chaoit Yesterday at 8:21 PM Oh. Uniforms. That's not a good sign. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:21 PM [[Oh. He knows where this human is going. He did research since the movie about the Wondrous Woman.]] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:21 PM "Oh!" He giggles and rolls off her with more pizzazz than entirely necessary. The tigger comment might explain the need to handspring back into a standing position. Lieu Yesterday at 8:22 PM No round 2 tonight, but Tormentor just stares back at Windchill. He sees you there. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:22 PM NOPE Windchill Yesterday at 8:22 PM Squint intensifies. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:22 PM ((All these squinting comments go well with your icon lol)) 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:22 PM Why do they have a room for cloaks? Chaoit Yesterday at 8:22 PM He's not liking this part of the movie at all Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:22 PM Accepts the visual feed finally, a little surprised that Soundwave still offered it considering the state of things between them. Just in time for war flashback. Lieu Yesterday at 8:22 PM EVEN MORE SQUINTING

...but it's behind a visor so it's useless Windchill Yesterday at 8:23 PM He still can't get the smell of burning paint out of his seams, and it's all your fault Tormentor. (( Lol. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:23 PM He's angry, not a poor host. Hmph. [[...He takes it by the state of the growth over the door that the Christopher Robin human has not returned yet.]] Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:24 PM He could have left it up to her alternate to provide visuals. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:24 PM Now that Swoop is standing up, he's got a much better view of the room. In particular, a certain someone who isn't looking this way.... Unsuspecting prey, if you will. He grins. Lieu Yesterday at 8:24 PM And he nearly blew up his own arm because of you! That's YouR FAULT Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:24 PM [[For him to have grown that tall, he has been away... at least five years.]] He's confident of that much. Human age is wiggly, but he's sure he's got that. Windchill Yesterday at 8:24 PM Rebel gets up and shakes herself, then reaches for Swoop's dinosaur hand to drag him along, too. That was a direct consequence of pulling on his wings! Lieu Yesterday at 8:24 PM ((Oh damn it's Mycroft from Sherlock!)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:25 PM "That human has never worked a day of manual labor in his life." Lieu Yesterday at 8:25 PM ((Love him)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:25 PM [[That much is obvious.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:25 PM "They very effectively made him very quickly dislikable." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:26 PM Swoop squawks. Your ruined his bird of prey stare, Rebel! But he lets her drag him along towards the seats. After all, that means they walk right behind the sofa a certain communication's bot is lounging on. At the last possible second, Swoop pulls away from Rebel and throws himself at Soundwave, reaching around to try to touch his mouth. Or, more specifically, a tooth! Windchill Yesterday at 8:26 PM Rebel, in her great and newly forged wisdom, dives out of the way before she can get dragged into whatever hell is about to be unleashed. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:26 PM [[Yes. It's very clear that he knows nothing about the actual reality of the business he is hea--]] THERE ARE FINGERS COMING FROM AROUND HIS HEAD FOR HIS MOUTH. And now there are not. Because there are no fingers. Not until he spits them out on the floor, anyway. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:27 PM Prowl lurches upright at the sudden movement. "What the hell is—?!" Chaoit Yesterday at 8:27 PM "What a nasty human." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:27 PM Soundwave is already standing up and turning around. He knows whose those were. [[OUTSIDE.]] Chaoit Yesterday at 8:27 PM !!!! Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:28 PM What a LOVELY time for Tarantulas to try and actually sit down near Prowl and Soundwave! He's leaping back to the shadows again before he gets dragged into anything. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:28 PM His first instinct is to bridge out the person who lunged. He tries to open a bridge under Swoop. No bridge opens. What in the. Lieu Yesterday at 8:28 PM "And in typical Cybertronian fashion, Neutral Zone doesn't even last a night." Windchill Yesterday at 8:28 PM And Windchill's on his feet, scooping up his wiggly adopted spawn before she can be blamed for anything. If she gets bridged, at least he goes too. He's a little paranoid, okay? Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:29 PM Swoop's optics go wide and bright. It takes a moment for the pain to register in his birdy brain. The shrill noise he lets out isn't entirely upset. His wings are fanned out and his stance widens as he looks from his missing digits to Soundwave. "You Soundwave wanna GO? Kehehhehh!" 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:29 PM Swerve's sighing into his hands as he realizes what just happened. Swoop, no. Bee Yesterday at 8:29 PM Bee munches on some rust sticks, more attentive to the chaos in the room rather than the movie. He offers his snack to whoever's closest. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:30 PM Flinches at the sound of Soundwave chomping down on Swoop's fingers and the shrill noise that follows, hand going instinctively to a subspace pocket for a weapon--oh, it's Swoop. Will let Soundwave deal with that. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:30 PM "Sw— Sound—" Are those fingers. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:30 PM The bridge is off. The bridge is nonresponsive, because he was running something extra on it while everyone is upstairs and in no expected need of it. At least not THIS early.

[[YOU are going. OUT.]] He'll snatch at Swoop's front with intent to drag the big bird out by force if need be. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:30 PM First it was Smokescreen losing digits, now Swoop? Hmmph. At least Tarantulas won't have to fix Swoop's, he's got Ratchet and Wheeljack. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:30 PM Swoop. Swoop, no. Blaster's just going to sigh and bury his face in his hands. Specs Yesterday at 8:30 PM The dragon is going to curl up into a little puffball until the chaos dies down. The smaller she is, the less change of being squished, yes? MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:30 PM "What the--" Perceptor looked away for about two seconds and there's chaos. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:30 PM He's in spider form climbing up the wall away from the action. He outie. Bee Yesterday at 8:31 PM And Bee's downed the first box of rust sticks. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:31 PM Swoop stands his ground and bats Soundwave's arm away. "Make me!" Windchill Yesterday at 8:31 PM "Swoop—" Windchill is cut off by a boot to the face. That's what he gets for holding Rebel upside-down. Lieu Yesterday at 8:32 PM Tormentor can't help but chuckle at Swoop's loss of a digit and stubbornness. Now THIS is the kind of thing he's into watching. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:33 PM Okay, he's going to stand and move away from the two. This may get messy. Bee Yesterday at 8:34 PM "How the frag-- ?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:34 PM Yes, Prowl, those are fingers. Neatly clipped off near the palm. Bleeding all over his nice, clean floor.

And this. This is IT. He has had. Enough. Of this. Dinobot. Soundwave's going to grab and wrap his ankles with both feelers, completely ignoring the energon dripping down his chin or the scene this is causing.  He is going to drag Swoop outside and teach him manners if it KILLS him.

They're marching to the door. He doesn't care what Swoop claws on the way. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:35 PM What a waste of good honey. Lieu Yesterday at 8:35 PM :popcorn: Chaoit Yesterday at 8:35 PM Oh dear. This isn't good. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:35 PM "Are y--" doesn't bothering asking the question as Soundwave marches by hauling Swoop along with him. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:35 PM Swoop squawks indigently. This isn't a sweet walk up to a fight. He's scrambling and scratching grooves in the floor as he goes. A chair might be coming out with him. Everyone else should watch their ankles as he goes by. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:35 PM See? This is why Tarantulas isn't interfering. He told Swoop people didn't always want to give him his way. The dinobot hopefully would listen to Soundwave more effectively than he had Tarantulas. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:35 PM @P: [[He will be back.]] Bee Yesterday at 8:36 PM ............. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:36 PM Prowl immediately follows after. "Soundwave—!" And there goes his ankle under Swoop's claw. He trips and falls. Bee Yesterday at 8:36 PM "Well. That escalated quickly." MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:36 PM "......well then." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:36 PM FLING out goes Swoop once he gets to the red glass doors. It's unceremonious and harsh and that's the way we're doing things tonight.

@P: [[Are you all right?]] 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:36 PM Swerve leans over to offer a hand up. Windchill Yesterday at 8:36 PM Windchill rights his wiggly giggly spawn, setting her in a chair. Swoop's on his own for this one. Maybe he'll learn something. Maybe not. Specs Yesterday at 8:36 PM Actually, you know what? Tarantulas had the right idea. She's flying as high up as she can and clinging to something up there. Goddess save her from the pterodactyl. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:36 PM Does definitely stand and move to help her alternate up from the floor. "Are you all right?" Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:37 PM OH NO. Ok, Tarantulas is coming back down to rescue his dear Prowl, basically the only thing to get him off the ceiling. Specs Yesterday at 8:37 PM Swapsies! Spide down, dragon up. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:37 PM "Prowl! Soundwave will be fine, let him - let him be." He's pulling Prowl back, away from the mess. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:38 PM "Yeah, f—" He's got TWO hands being offered. He looks between them indecisively. "... Fine." He takes his alternate's, gets up, and heads for the d— When did Tarantulas get here? Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:38 PM Joke's on Soundwave. Airborne is how Swoop likes things. He transforms so he can turn that fling into an arc, curving back Soundwave's way at increasing speeds. The pteranodon's battle cry can be heard for some distance as he transforms and rockets towards Soundwave. Windchill Yesterday at 8:38 PM That's when Rebel spots the blood and fingers, and gapes. She's never (knowingly,) seen detached body parts before! Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:38 PM Ravage, who is not concerned for his Boss in the least - why should he be, given Soundwave's former standing? - sits watching Christopher Robin, munching out of a bowl of tinsel fish. =Poor bear.= Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:38 PM ((u can keep those fingers rebel :wink: )) Windchill Yesterday at 8:39 PM (( Sure, just make it weird. )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:39 PM ((when has this not been weird)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:39 PM (( if she doesn't take them, tara will (( what a nice snack Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:39 PM ((y'all fight for them)) Windchill Yesterday at 8:39 PM (( It's Windchill the cannibal you'll have to fight, not Rebel. )) (( ...They can share. )) Chaoit Yesterday at 8:40 PM "....should someone get a medic?" 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:40 PM //keep being distracted and swerve'll throw them away Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:40 PM Will follow the Captain outside if he's not been distracted by Tarantulas. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:40 PM He BETTER be distracted by Tarantulas. Lieu Yesterday at 8:40 PM Tormentor is a little disappointed how fast everything ended. Movie is still going but the real entertainment is all gone now. Windchill Yesterday at 8:40 PM Windchill's staring at the fingers too, though it was more the smell that alerted him than anything. Hmm. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:41 PM (( hi stressed, i'm pooh Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:41 PM "Someone can call Frenzy if they'd like, Blaster." Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:41 PM He has, briefly, been distracted. But not for long. "... I can't." He hurries outside. Windchill Yesterday at 8:42 PM His head bobs low like that of the predatory bird that he is. Hmm. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:42 PM Aaaand Tarantulas scrambles after Prowl, perpetually positioning himself between Prowl and the action. Windchill can have those fingers. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:43 PM Follows at a slightly less hurried pace. Out we all go then, I guess. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:43 PM "Tarantulas, let me—!" Huff. He's stopping just outside the door anyway, to survey the fight. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:43 PM Pooh. Windchill Yesterday at 8:43 PM Bob, bob, bob, some very serious calculations are happening here. He always was terrible at math. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:43 PM "Ah, well, I meant for later, after the two were done outside." Specs Yesterday at 8:44 PM The dragon flies down and, bafflingly, acquires the fingers for herself. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:44 PM Soundwave is taken aback for a moment by the sight of Swoop rocketing back toward Dancitron - he wouldn't be THAT stupid, would he? - but he's a Dinobot. Yes. Yes, he would be.

He hurries the rest of the way and crouches. Swoop can come to tackle him if he wants. There's a surprise waiting should he do so. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:44 PM No one is staying to block the door, so anyone can easily come watch the action happening outside. Windchill Yesterday at 8:44 PM Well, that settles that. Bee Yesterday at 8:44 PM "I don't know about you guys, but I relate so much to that bear." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:44 PM =Unfortunate for you.= Windchill Yesterday at 8:45 PM Rebel swings her feet and watches the film. It doesn't even occur to her to be concerned for Swoop's health in general. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:45 PM BETTER GET THAT SURPRISE READY, because Swoop is going full speed ahead into Soundwave, talons first. Bee Yesterday at 8:45 PM Time to record the madness. Specs Yesterday at 8:45 PM Benefits of having her own bridge- the dragon has disappeared with the fingers. She'll be back, eventually. Windchill Yesterday at 8:45 PM "Ravage. You still got that mop behind the counter?" Windchill can either clean up the mess the proper way, or with his tongue. Your choice. MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:45 PM Percy is just gonna... watch the movie. He thinks. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:46 PM Oh dear. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:46 PM I love this bear. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:46 PM Those talons are about to clutch a set of Soundwave's own. Namely, the ones already sparking with electricity.

Ravage doesn't  even look at the fingers, surprisingly. He already ate today. He just chucks the mop toward Windchill with his feeler tail. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:47 PM ... Without bridges, there's nothing Prowl can do to de-escalate the situation. He shouldn't get involved. The best thing he can do now is crowd control. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:47 PM Should he help? He has his way of travel, but...exact coordinate and all. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:47 PM Electricity might hurt. (Does hurt. It does hurt.) But it doesn't stop Swoop's momentum. Soundwave is going into a shrieking heap with this Dinobot whether he likes it or not. Specs Yesterday at 8:47 PM There's no fingers left! The dragon has stolen them for her own purposes. Bee Yesterday at 8:47 PM Pings Prowl. :: Anything we can do to help? :: :: This is...getting a little ridiculous. :: Windchill Yesterday at 8:48 PM He does manage to snatch the mop out of the air, demonstrating a smidgen of hand-optic coordination for once, and gets to work. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:48 PM Nothing Prowl has on her would classify as de-escalation tools either, especially with the nearby bridge access down. The rockets on her shoulders most definitely would only make things worse. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:48 PM So he turns to the other people standing outside. "Nobody is getting any closer, nobody is getting involved! I don't want to see anybody more than five feet outside the door." Specs Yesterday at 8:49 PM ((actually, I'm gonna have to AFK for a bit- Naughty Girl will not stop biting me)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:49 PM A shrieking heap is fine. He's been in plenty of shrieking heaps before. Pull the back spines in, roll, and reach for the beak with one hand. Gotta try to keep it shut this close up. Specs Yesterday at 8:49 PM ((which means she needs something)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:49 PM ((naughty naughty girl! stop that)) Windchill Yesterday at 8:49 PM (( Precious baby needs attention! )) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:50 PM Tarantulas has both hands on V-Prowl's shoulders, gripping a bit tighter than he needs to. He's hissing nervously. "Come back in. Come. Back. In. It's not your JOB to police mechs here, it's not your jurisdiction. Soundwave will be FINE." Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:50 PM Prowl shakes Tarantulas's hands off. "I know he will. Anyone who tries to get involve WON'T be, I'm staying out here as long as all of them are." Bee Yesterday at 8:51 PM (( OH MY GOD that was the first time I heard "That was one of my briefer naps." AND I'M DYING XDDDD )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:51 PM ((heheheh)) ((pooh has such wonderful lines)) 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:51 PM "It's probably safer for them to come inside." Bee Yesterday at 8:51 PM And he immediately sits down. No need to face Prowl's wrath if he can avoid it. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:51 PM //he does i loe this movie Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:51 PM Soundwave might have the leverage to keep Swoop's beak closed, but he can't keep it air tight. Swoop makes a bit of a show of inhaling before exhaling fire. It might not be able to go out in front of him, but it's going to go somewhere. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:51 PM "It's Soundwave's jurisdiction. The best thing any of us can do is ensure they won't get too close to the building. Which I'm sure Soundwave is already going to do." Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:52 PM "I know it's safer f—" He leans in the door, "Everyone's outside NOW, I'm not going to shove them back in." Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:53 PM ((i do love the briefer naps line so much Windchill Yesterday at 8:53 PM Well, it's not perfect (cleaning is far from Windchill's area of expertise, he's so much better at the opposite,) but the floor is better. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:54 PM Rrrgh. Well, the best Tarantulas can do right now is keep the blasters still hidden in his frame at the ready, regardless of anything else. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:54 PM Oh. Look. Fire. "Are you sure we shouldn't help?" Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:55 PM "Yes." Windchill Yesterday at 8:55 PM (( I'm so confused right now. Is EVERYONE outside because I missed that part if so lol. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:56 PM How lucky he is that he has next to no feeling in the shielding arm presently getting toasted. It leaves him free to focus his attention on other things. Like moving to one knee and, if he can manage it, slicing up one of those flapping wings with a flattened hand turned blade. Keep Swoop on the ground. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:56 PM "The more people get in there, the more people are going to be injured." 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:56 PM //swerve's inside //i think percy too MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:56 PM //ya Windchill Yesterday at 8:56 PM (( I assumed everyone that was not actively fighting or supporting had stayed in. )) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:56 PM ((it was a hyperbolic "everyone")) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:56 PM =Oh, good. He enters.= Chaoit Yesterday at 8:57 PM "Right...okay..." still inside, just watching. Windchill Yesterday at 8:57 PM (( Okay thank you. )) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:57 PM That said, he's resisting the urge to jump in in defense of Soundwave himself. Y'know. Protector instincts. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 8:58 PM If Soundwave had anything on his mind other than a) not dying, and b) keeping OTHER people from dying during a potential Dinobot rampage, he would appreciate it. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 8:58 PM He's wisely moving further from the door and pulling Percy along, just to be safe. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 8:58 PM He'll channel the urge into watching the fight and making sure nobody else tries to get in on it. MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 8:59 PM Yep. He will allow himself to be Lead Along. Bee Yesterday at 8:59 PM Oh no, he remembers this part. He hugs a pillow to his chassis and very intently watches the screen. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 8:59 PM Swoop's optics go wide and he lets out an actual enraged howl. We were having such a good time, Soundwave. Why did you turn a game into an actual fight? Wing slices are a party fowl at best. Swoop's playful edge just turns into animal fury. He might not have much weight, but he has lots of length with his wingspan to get leverage in an wild, frantic thrashing. Chaoit Yesterday at 8:59 PM ((OUCH)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 8:59 PM Monitors the fight with her visor and doors up as high as they'll go on her back. If nothing else, she'll know exactly when calling in a real medic is necessary. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 8:59 PM Tarantulas, for one, does not appreciate V-Prowl's selfless instincts. He's keeping eight VERY close eyes on him, and as much physical contact as he can get away with. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:00 PM Which might be about now. Welp. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:00 PM EXCUSE YOU. Tarantulas is a real medic. Kind of. Bee Yesterday at 9:00 PM (( I'm out after this scene, i'm falling asleep & lowkey dying. But I'm 100000% catching up on this Swoop v Soundwave omg )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:00 PM ((see you next time hopefully <3)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:00 PM ((A battle like four years in the making)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:00 PM ((Night, bee-mun! Windchill Yesterday at 9:00 PM (( o7 )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:00 PM ((night!)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:00 PM (( nini! 20%wurmple Yesterday at 9:00 PM //nini Bee Yesterday at 9:01 PM (( g'night! Thanks for hosting Soundwave! )) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:01 PM (( christopher robin is SO rude oh my god. you're hurting this poor childe bear's feelings 20%wurmple Yesterday at 9:01 PM //let pooh live Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:02 PM Now Prowl is the one grabbing Tarantulas's shoulder. He's holding himself back. He and his alternate have apparently the same thought at the same time, because he turns to her and asks, "Can you contact local medical services?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:02 PM Soundwave can't quite see what he's doing with one wing smacking him about the head when it's not smacking against the ground; he hisses as a solid blow cracks his visor across the side and leaves a portion missing. It forces him to let go and wipe shards away from his optic, giving Swoop a free moment. =What a noise this Heffalump has.= Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:03 PM ((you ARE the heffalump, christopher. it's you.)) 20%wurmple Yesterday at 9:03 PM //lmao Windchill Yesterday at 9:03 PM Hmm. How inappropriate would it be if he sucked the energon out of the mop? Would it taste of leftover floor cleaner? Best not. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:03 PM Swoop knows how to capitalize on a split second in a fight. He shoves Soundwave with all his dino-might to get enough wiggle room to transform. He comes into his robot mode all screams and claws. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:04 PM Nods. Makes that call to Praxus now. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:04 PM Good. Swoop's bipedal and angry. This just got simpler. He'll let himself be shoved a couple of paces to buy himself time to think, then... stand and wait. Come on, then, Swoop. Come tire yourself out. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:06 PM "Leave local medical services out of this! This is - both of them have medics on their side and Primus forbid either of them face any OTHER consequences for this." Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:07 PM "No one in Praxus can charge them with anything." Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:07 PM Prowl's gaze is fixed on the battle, optics twitching minutely to follow the motions. "There's—this is outside any other jurisdiction, they're not going to have other consequences." Specs Yesterday at 9:07 PM (('m back! she was out of food)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:08 PM "Well then, PERSONAL consequences. Something like that. We don't need anyone else involved." He's still hissing nervously. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:09 PM And Prowl isn't calling the main Praxian medical services anyway. Just the one medic in Praxus she knows Soundwave won't turn away and Swoop might actually listen to if he's not booted back to his own universe before they arrive. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:11 PM Swoop is hardly going to pass up a still target to wail on. The Dinobot is wild eyed and pushing himself to hit as fast and hard as he can. Even if all he's doing is taking chips out of Soundwave's heated up arms, he'll take it. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:13 PM He mumbles something dismissive about the personal consequences. He squeezes Tarantulas's shoulder harder. Soundwave's a gladiator, it's okay, it's fine. Chaoit Yesterday at 9:15 PM "Are you sure we shouldn't intervene?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:15 PM "I've done the math. Any one of us would make it worse." Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:15 PM "Agreed." Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:15 PM Quite frankly Tarantulas thinks it's silly that Prowl or anyone else would be worried about Soundwave of all mechs against Swoop the toddler, even if the toddler is a Dinobot - but he'll do his best to reassure Prowl anyhow. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:16 PM ((tara don't be a butt. swoop is a super cereal warrior ok)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:16 PM Soundwave's getting attacked and isn't attacking back, Prowl's going to be nervous even if all the calculations are in Soundwave's favor. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:16 PM Chips, dents, some sparking as wires get compressed or split. It's all good. It means just about nothing, though one thumb hurts a bit where the flame got to it. He'll take the first few hits he has to take while he learns Swoop's patterns and favored motions, and what signals in his mind equal which upcoming attacks.

Keep it coming, Dinobot. He's not done yet. He's had far, far worse than this. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:17 PM (( tara is the buttiest butt Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:18 PM The lack of noticeable pushback was somewhat enjoyable at first. But all this dancing around is getting annoying. None of these hits are really painful. Soundwave needs to do something if Swoop is going to get in there to get some real maiming going. "You. Soundwave." He snarls. "FIGHT!" Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:19 PM Suddenly Tarantulas chitters to himself, apparently amused. "Swoop got his wish though. He DID get to touch Soundwave's teeth, for the briefest second." Windchill Yesterday at 9:20 PM Windchill is going to finish dealing with the mop, put it back where it belongs, and consider making an escape before Rebel has to see something he'd rather she didn't. The problem is getting out the door. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:20 PM "Was—was THAT what he was doing?!" He hadn't even noticed how this started. Just a lunge and then missing fingers. He supposes that WOULD explain things. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:21 PM More chittering. "Yes, yes. Trivial, isn't it? I'm actually quite glad though." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:21 PM Swoop gets his wish, though not quite the way he wants. Soundwave continues to dance this way and that, a spin here and a sharp push using Swoop's own swings to redirect or unbalance him there as he slowly guides Swoop toward more uneven territory. This is HIS home. He knows the terrain above and below ground so well he could travel it blind. And he's willing to bet his life on Swoop, noted AERIAL battler, being too angry to notice much about the metal beneath his clawed feet. Three or four hits make it to his chest instead of his arms. Whether it's an accident, a lure, or Soundwave tiring out is up in the air. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:23 PM Prowl keeps her calculations of the fight's outcome to herself, pulling up what she knows of the surrounding area and trying to predict how this might end as quickly as she can. "That certainly explains why Swoop lost his fingers." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:26 PM Raised in the dirt and built for the air, Swoop had very limited experiences fighting on a metal surface. The difference seemed negligible to the tiny part of his bird brain that was aware of anything other than the feeling of his claws on Soundwave and the burning energy in his own fuel lines. Swoop's optics narrow and grin widens when he manages to get at Soundwave's chest a few times. Adults get tired so easily. With a feral shriek, Swoop throws everything he's got at the communications mech. He's going to rip him to fucking shreds. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:26 PM =Tigger is disgraceful. Unworthy of cat status.= Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:27 PM ((ravage shhhh Windchill Yesterday at 9:29 PM Windchill sidles towards the door and peeks his owlish head out to check on his not-child. Has anyone died, yet? Chaoit Yesterday at 9:31 PM Blaster's about ready to call his medics at this rate. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:33 PM Not necessary. Prowl's fairly certain she knows how this is going to end and currently has Praxus on standby. No sense making the old medic come all the way down here for nothing, after all. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:33 PM (( r u on the lemonade m8 Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:36 PM The surface Swoop moves to has been worn mostly smooth by countless pedes belonging to countless mechs visiting the club over half a decade. There's nothing to grip when losing one's footing but a sliding, shining curve. Soundwave takes another short series of blows, positioning them with care as he makes one last turn...

He snatches Swoop's ankles out from beneath the weedy Dinobot with one feeler and jumps forward as Swoop falls. One foot lands square on the middle of Swoop's back. The other feeler wraps itself around Swoop's neck and squeezes, leaving him unable to flail well in any direction without hurting himself.

Each hand quickly seizes a wing. The tattered one, he pulls back sharply, counting on the stretch to aggravate its wounds. The other twists round almost to snapping clean off.

[[You. Will. YIELD.]] Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:37 PM "Ah." Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:37 PM He squeezes Tarantulas tighter again. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:39 PM ...Suddenly Tarantulas isn't feeling so great about the situation. Yes, he figured Soundwave would have everything under control soon enough, but... he's finding himself surprising concerned about Swoop. Is he feeling protective? What? Of course not. He's wrapping a few limbs around Prowl as well and squeezing, definitely for Prowl's benefit. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 9:40 PM //that's what happens when u start momming dinobots tara Windchill Yesterday at 9:40 PM Chill's ruined wings flick anxiously; better to keep Rebel inside for now, after all. Still, there's nothing keeping him inside, not really. Rebel can be left with the movie for a few minutes, so long as he keeps an ear out for Tormentor. Right? Right. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:42 PM Swoop's frame moves fast - faster than his mind sometimes - but the unfamiliar terrain and preexisting damage send him crashing down. Any one of these moves independently wouldn't be enough to fell a Dinobot.

But once he's down, Soundwave is on top of him and a tearing pain is shooting down his wing and along is spine. Swoop thrashes and damages himself further. It's instinct.

His body freezes stiff. Energon's dripping down his wing and he's clawing at the ground, optics darting around. Is there something he can do? Can he get away?

Yield? All that gets is a snarl. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:44 PM The feeler around Swoop's neck shocks him. Light - less than before - but a warning. He will go higher next time. He can. Swoop knows that from earlier. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:45 PM Swoop inhales sharply. Ouch.

What can he...

How does...

...

Swoop goes completely slack. His hand taps the hard ground twice. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:47 PM (( ey ey, DO y'all have a medic lined up btw? Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:47 PM ((No. Is Tara game? Lol.)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:47 PM (( omfg..... yes i'm sure he would be (( give him an outlet for his protectiveness Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:48 PM ((I was gonna volunteer Ratchet, but Tara's much closer. Windchill Yesterday at 9:48 PM (( Windchill has Arms if they're needed to contain/hold wild dinobots. )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:48 PM ((Swoop would pick Ratchet if given the choice because Ratchet. But he's not in an arguing mood right now. He'll go with whoever.)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:49 PM Good. That is what he wanted.

[[Now. He expects you to abide by the rules you and your brothers have set up as far as how you behave toward those who have beaten you. He will not replace Grimlock, but he expects you to treat him with respect.]]

[[You may go home and think about your defeat. He will allow you to return, but you will listen to what he tells you, when he tells you, or he will not be afraid to shame you in front of a crowd again and ban you permanently - and he will see to it that many more witness the fight next time. Ask anyone you trust how far and wide a Soundwave can send video footage if you doubt his word.]]

Soundwave keeps the hold three seconds longer just to stick the point in, then lets go. And offers Swoop a hand up. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:50 PM Prowl doesn't relax until Soundwave lets go. And then only partially. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:51 PM Tarantulas is battling something, and it's starting to show in his frame. Prowl might be relaxing a smidge, but Tarantulas grips again.

@SW: ::Can I intervene and tend to Swoop?:: Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:52 PM @T: [[If he wants it.]] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:52 PM Swoop listens quietly. He doesn't need to nod. Soundwave knows he agrees. This is how the Dinobots roll after all.

When Soundwave lets him go, Swoop stays in place on the ground until he's offered a hand. The littlest Dinobot takes it without a word, getting up and looking quite subdued. His optics glance from Soundwave to the ground and his shoulders have a hunch to them.

He's not sure what to do, so he stays put. Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:54 PM @SW: [[Do you require medical attention? I have Ratchet on hold.]] Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:54 PM @SW: ::Keep an optic on him, I'm coming.::

Outwardly he doesn't give a sign before he's off down toward the mess, transforming into spider mode to aid with speed. He'll slow once he's close and keep wary around Swoop. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:54 PM Prowl's still not entirely sure the fight isn't going to break out again. There's always that three percent chance that— "Tarantulas!" Oh, and after TARANTULAS was telling PROWL not to get involved— Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 9:55 PM "What does he think he's doing?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:55 PM "I don't kn— Tarantulas, what do you think you're doing!" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:56 PM [[Do what you need to do to care for yourself and go home, Swoop.]]

Soundwave slowly walks back toward both Prowls, Tarantulas, and the building full of guests it annoyed him he had not been able to spend time with tonight. He'll head inside, favoring the toasted arm, and bow to the lot.

[[His apologies - particularly to the newcomers. This has been an unusual night. We will not have such a disturbance next week; of that, you can be sure. Neutral zone rules are still in effect. No one needs fear a similar event unless they pose a serious threat to another during their visit.]] Chaoit Yesterday at 9:56 PM "Are you okay?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:56 PM [[And it should be noted that this is the first - preferably, the only.]] Windchill Yesterday at 9:57 PM Windchill moves away from the door so he's not blocking Soundwave, and flicks his wings again. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:57 PM He gives Tarantulas and Swoop an exasperated look, calls to Tarantulas, "Yell if he attacks," and stalks in with Soundwave. "How bad's your arm?" Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 9:57 PM Swoop's head bobbles in agreement. He looks down at his hand. The missing fingers were certainly not improved by repeatedly hitting against another person. Swoop licks some of the energon off. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:57 PM [[He will return to normal function in a few days. He hopes the film was entertaining in the meantime?]]

@SCP: [[No. Frenzy will tend to him. Ratchet has been.... tired, lately.]] Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:57 PM Ping ping to V-Prowl - ::I'm - no need to worry yourself, I'm simply snatching Swoop up. I'll - err, be in touch.:: Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:58 PM @T «Keep me updated. Let me know when you go home, please.» To make sure that Swoop didn't rip his head off in a burst of frustration. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 9:58 PM Turning to amica Prowl, now. [[He does not know. He cannot feel it very well.]] Pause. [[That is normal, by the way. Still: it moves. He doubts he will need to replace it.]] Repair it? Yes. Very yes. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 9:59 PM [snags an emoty cube off the bar and slides a cube of specialty energon hed been hoarding in subspace in Soundwave's general direction] You prooobably need a drink buddy. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 9:59 PM He nods stiffly. "... What about the rest of you?" The arm looked worst, but... Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 9:59 PM To Swoop: "Don't LICK yourself, you imbecile. Come here." And now there's a spider on him, ready to use web to restrain if need be. "You're coming with me, whether you like it or not." Windchill Yesterday at 10:00 PM Now that the movie's over Rebel bounds back out of her seat to grab her dad's hand, still bouncing around (maybe Tigger inspired, maybe not,) but raring to go to any place where there's not so much sitting. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:00 PM Swoop cocks his head at Tarantulas. But he doesn't argue. Just toddles over and gives the spider an expectant look that said what now? Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:01 PM A thin smile cuts across Soundwave's face. It looks particularly ghastly with the dried energon coming from it. He wiggles a feeler up beneath his chest armor, only struggling for room where Swoop dented it. [[He is not as wide as he lets himself look. Mostly armor damage.]]

And you know what? He's going to take that energon from Swerve and give it a solid look. [[...Yes. Tonight, he thinks he will have one. A small one.]] A victory celebration, like the old days. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:02 PM Prowl thought Soundwave doesn't like drinking. THAT kicks his concern back up. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:02 PM [[...Windchill, feel free to take something expensive from the bar tonight before you leave. He has not repaid your efforts to control Swoop as well as he should have.]] Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:02 PM What now? Getting carefully manhandled by a massive spider is what's happening now, Swoop. As soon as he has the pteranodon securely on his back, Tarantulas is bridging off to the Tor with him in tow. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:03 PM Swoop makes absolutely no attempt to stop this. Unless bleeding on Tarantulas counts as an attempt to deter him. But probably not. Off we go! Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:04 PM He doesn't. But he has not had a fight that ferocious in a while, and a quarter ration will not do much to him. That's what he meant by small. Windchill Yesterday at 10:04 PM Sorry, Chill was a little distracted with indecision and Rebel's bouncing around and jabbering about the movie. He looks up, confused, and frowns.

"That's okay. Floor's clean, dragon took the fingers." Sure, nobody did anything about the chair Swoop dragged out, but it was a start. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:04 PM Prowl's still worrying. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:04 PM ((one (1) whole shot)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:04 PM ((an shot)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:05 PM [[Oh, the dragon - where is she? Not harmed in the rush to get out, he hopes...]] He's not worried about the fingers. He figured SOMEONE would scavenge them. Windchill Yesterday at 10:05 PM (( God you're reminding me of my verbal typo today. )) (( I only drink weed and miskey. )) Chaoit Yesterday at 10:05 PM Well, everything looks like it has been settled. Blaster's just...going to leave now. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:05 PM ((also public stream wrappin up at 10:30 for the record - and lol miskey)) Specs Yesterday at 10:05 PM The dragon never came back after absconding with the fingers. Probably safest that way. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:05 PM Soundwave will ping Blaster as he leaves. A better time next time, mech. [[Ah. Yes, probably.]] Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:05 PM (( omg isnt that, uhh, a spoonerism? Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 10:06 PM @SW: [[Of course.]] Tired hardly describes it, but it's a polite fiction everyone seems content to believe, so Prowl lets it be. She's relieved, if only because she knew Ratchet would have insisted on coming out her if it had been more serious, regardless of what other medics might have been in the area. Swoop can be left in Tarantulas' care and Prowl can finally go back inside, lingering in the doorway trying to decide if she shouldn't just head back to Praxus anyway. Windchill Yesterday at 10:06 PM A wise move on any dragon's part, to be certain. Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:06 PM (( DINGERS Specs Yesterday at 10:06 PM ((OH SHIT DINGERS)) MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 10:06 PM Welllll this was certainly eventful. It's about time for Perceptor to uhhhh scoot on out. Specs Yesterday at 10:06 PM ((feexed)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:06 PM (( ive cemented the dingers in the chatlong even if you edit, muahah Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:06 PM ((i SWEAR it's not usually like this lmao)) 20%wurmple Yesterday at 10:06 PM Swerve slides off his chair. "I'll take Percy home. Don't want him getting lost." Specs Yesterday at 10:07 PM ((yes, you have, which is why I edited once I noticed)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:07 PM ((much more ridiculous and chatty)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:07 PM (( Yes it is. I only drink mead and whiskey but I don't need to in order to mess that up lol. )) MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 10:07 PM "Thank you Swerve!" Specs Yesterday at 10:07 PM ((otherwise I would have had to keep it :C )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:07 PM [[Goodnight, Perceptor. Do come back.]] MOTHMAN GF Yesterday at 10:07 PM He waves as he heads out. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 10:07 PM "Sure thing. Night everyone, night Soundwave. Hopefully that lesson sticks." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:07 PM [[Goodnight, Swerve. He hopes so as well.]] Windchill Yesterday at 10:07 PM Windchill shrugged. He's not picking up any dead organic smells, so she's probably fine. 20%wurmple Yesterday at 10:08 PM A wave and off he goes. Specs Yesterday at 10:09 PM ((I'm signing off for the night before I pass out)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:09 PM (( o7 good night! )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:09 PM ((goodnight and i hope next week is more enjoyable / broadly fun)) Specs Yesterday at 10:09 PM ((ilu all, sorry that dragon bailed due to IRL cat + hoarding instinct that demands she keeps fingers)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:10 PM (( She deserved them most out of anyone who might have snatched them. )) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:10 PM (( seconded Specs Yesterday at 10:10 PM (( :black_heart: )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:10 PM ((night night)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:10 PM (( 'Sides, it saved everyone from having to witness what happens when someone else does, so. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:10 PM ((lmao)) Caniko Yesterday at 10:11 PM ((totally missed movie night, sorry)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:11 PM Soundwave moves to accept a bunt from Ravage, who keeps papping the counter for his attention. Yes, yes, he's fine. You knew he'd be fine. Don't be silly.

And now he's going to plop into a seat and roll the tiny, tiny glass between two fingers of his better hand. ((oh nooooo. next time!!)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:12 PM Prowl is sitting with Soundwave and—sort of just radiating worry in his direction. "Where's Frenzy?" Windchill Yesterday at 10:13 PM "We're going to go, and check on Swoop later." The last bit was more for Rebel's benefit than anything, but it really was getting late and past Windchill's bedtime. This kind of stress just isn't good for him. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:13 PM [[All right. He hopes the mech's wing is not too damaged. Goodnight, Windchill, Rebel.]] He can feel the worry. It's... soothing. To be worried about after a fight, instead of paraded and then put back in a cell. Still, he'd like not to have to do this again.

[[Upstairs.]] And more privately: @P: [[He told Frenzy to wait until the others have gone.]] Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 10:14 PM @VProwl: [[Goodnight, Captain.]] Going to dodge out without bothering to come fully back inside the building. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:14 PM @P «Evening, alternate.» Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:14 PM Soundwave will send a ping to his own timeline's Prowl. He still is mad at her about That Reveal, but she was ready to call Praxus, and that is something worth being thankful for. Windchill Yesterday at 10:15 PM Rebel waves back at the room as they head out, then at a distant Swoop once they're outside. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:16 PM ((is the plan everyone leaving the server again?)) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:16 PM ((ye for cleanup purposes)) Prowl (beautyandthebadge) Yesterday at 10:16 PM That gives Prowl a moment's paused before she drops down into vehicle mode. She pings back just before taking off toward Praxus. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:17 PM ((sometimes i do stuff during the week to tinker and i don't want people to be getting weird boops)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:17 PM ((Cool! I can't wait to get this up on tumblr.)) ((gg)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:17 PM (( Also means that people who don't attend a given night aren't getting hit with it either, so it makes sense. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:17 PM ((ye)) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:17 PM (( i thought that said EGG instead of gg (( smh@myself Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus) Yesterday at 10:17 PM ((lololol)) ((l8r)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:18 PM ((egg stands for extremely good game)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:18 PM (( o7 )) Tarantulas (aranea-mechanica) Yesterday at 10:19 PM (( l8r allig8or (( i'm off to bed too, tarantulas has swoop in his clutches now and will follow up accordingly! Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:19 PM ((gotcha! bye those goin!)) Windchill Yesterday at 10:20 PM (( Big fat mess to clean up lolololol good job Swoop. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:20 PM Can Soundwave lean into Prowl? He'd like to lean into Prowl. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:20 PM He can, but in exchange Prowl is gently taking Soundwave's arm and examining the damage up close. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:23 PM Soundwave will let him, mostly because a) he figures it will soothe Prowl's worries a smidge if he at least gets to know for sure what's happened to it, and b) it's nice, being fretted over and checked on like that.

Oh so gently, in a way that notes appreciation but also reassurance: [[They were designed for the purpose of taking hits.]] Pause. [[He is surprised he didn't get more flame damage. Too angry, he supposes.]] And here comes Frenzy to park himself on the opposite side of the couch and get inspecting on that chest armor. He'll keep out of the way as much as possible. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:25 PM A jerky nod. "I suppose." He scoots away when Frenzy arrives, giving him more room to work. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:26 PM He's disappointed when Prowl moves away, but it makes some sense. [[You fell. Were you hurt, yourself...?]] Trying to lean over Frenzy to see Prowl's legs. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:26 PM I'm a hologram. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:29 PM Soundwave sits up and blinks the one optic that is peeking out of the broken visor. [[Oh. Yes, you are.]] Then he smiles, amused at himself. [[He tends to forget that, doesn't he.]]

[[He is glad for that. He did not want you hurt.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:32 PM "Hm." Soundwave used to be unable to see Prowl's light frame as anything BUT a hologram. In any other situation, he'd be delighted at the change. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:33 PM [[...Is something wrong?]]

\YEAH, YOU KEEP MOVIN'. HOLD STILL.\

[[Not that. To you.]] A nod to Prowl. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:35 PM "Wh—? Yes! Obviously?!" He gestures at Soundwave's nearest battle damage. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:44 PM Soundwave looks down at it like he's only just seeing it for the first time and tilts his head. What's all the fuss about? [[He's had worse; you've seen that yourself. Besides, he can hardly feel most of it, and it is nothing Frenzy cannot finish repairing by tomorrow night. Swoop merely hit dead surfaces designed to be shields and armor with plenty of denting space beneath it - and not as hard as his brothers. They would have required a different approach. ]]

[[He promises you do not need to worry so, though he appreciates that you are. Your protectiveness is one of many things he values about you.]] Closer lean? ...It abruptly occurs to him that he has not scrubbed the energon off his mouth. He'll just. Stretch a feeler toward the bar for a rag and some cleanser so he can do that. Yes. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:46 PM The lean isn't returned. "It wasn't a fight that you should have had in the first place. YOU'RE damaged and HE'S mangled, and ALL of it would have been avoidable if—" HUFF. No. He's cutting himself off there. Change direction. "Why was the bridge off." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:52 PM Oh. He's - there's an element of being in trouble to this, isn't there? That's another matter altogether. Oops.

Prowl rarely changes the subject of upset arguing like that, though. Soundwave quickly gets the idea it might be better not to mention that it'll be the only fight he'll have to have.

[[The bridge is off because he is finishing some final programming adjustments for a complex new modification and needed to be able to install them without interruptions. He had intended it to be finished before the usual time range in which it tends to be needed. Swoop changed those plans.]] [[He was not expecting a sneak attack on his mouth.]] As may be worked out by the fact that he severed Swoop's fingers and is presently scrubbing energon off his face while he thinks. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:55 PM Prowl's mouth tightens at the mention of Swoop, but he stays focused on the bridge. "What adjustments? Just an upgrade, or new functionality?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 10:56 PM Okay. Okay, don't mention Swoop at all. He can take that hint. He will take it and clutch it and not step on it again. He's in enough hot water tonight.

[[A little of both. He had been hoping to surprise you.]] Vent. So much for that. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 10:58 PM "Well. I was very surprised." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:02 PM [[Not quite the way he wanted it to go.]]

Leans against the couch and eyes the tiny ration of highgrade. He doesn't know what to do with it now. This feels less like a victory than it did earlier.

[[Though he thinks you would still be stunned out of your plating if you could see the work yourself. And useful, too. He is not as skilled a mathematician; much of his programming and physical upgrading has relied on trial and error. He is not even certain these WILL prove to be the final adjustments.]] And a small huff. [[He's already thought that about this project thrice before.]] Ravage rumbles something unintelligible but in the vicinity of deeply displeased. Yes, he can attest to that. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:08 PM "... So you could use help with it." Well, it was math. And if it would get the space bridge back on faster... "What calculations do you need?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:14 PM [[He could.]] Soundwave had felt his tanks twinge when he'd admitted to hacking at the idea with a machete instead of a laser scalpel; tugging on Prowl's arm and outright requesting assistance was out of the question. Roundabout all the way. [[Do you remember the time you used multiple bridges to pinpoint a mech's location in another timeline?]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:16 PM "Of course. You're trying to make a program that does the same thing?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:25 PM [[....Not exactly.]] How to explain it without giving the whole game away? [[He has managed to update it to the point of being able to do the necessary calculations without any extra bridges by using a highly specialized process he - by using something he knows how to do. But he is having trouble forcing it to combine that AND the order to move the actual bridge a specific number of meters to one side. As of earlier tonight, it was unable to reliably adjust the position to the right point, let alone a safe side. You have less trouble with tracking the movements of celestial bodies than he does. He was wondering if that might be what keeps interfering - and whether he has got it right this time.]] Prowl made an effort to determine Unicron's path, once. Soundwave's kind of convinced this would be child's play for him. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:29 PM "... Hm." Well, Soundwave's very obvious efforts to try NOT to give the whole game away weren't going to give Prowl much to work with by way of figuring out what the problem was. He's getting the distinct impression that Soundwave doesn't want his help, even now that the "surprise" is ruined.

"Well. If you decide you want help, you know where I am." Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:29 PM [[What? No, he - he already decided that.]] Oh, ouch. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:30 PM "Oh." Prowl grimaces. Good job there, Prowl. Well done. "You're not telling me what you're doing. You want me to help without knowing what end result I'm supposed to be aiming for?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:34 PM ...Well, it sounded silly when Prowl put it like THAT.

[[It is supposed to - to be capable of identifying and opening a bridge to any given location almost as soon as communications contact is established.]]

=NOT OVERHEAD.=

[[Yes. But not overhead. Which is what it has been doing, when it isn't sending him Primus-knows-where for reasons he can't fathom. It won't be good for rescue work if it decides twenty-five meters from Dancitron is on the planet Vulcan.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:36 PM Oh, now he's got Prowl's attention. "Communications contact. I assume you mean comms? Does it require the recipient to respond to pings, the way I did it? Or does it work through another mechanism? ... And can people who AREN'T telepathic use that method?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:42 PM [[Yes. Audio comms, at the moment. There is a bug of moderate size in the verbal comm protocols he has yet to fully remove.]] Hand wave. One step at a time. If he can work out one, he can use that to fix the other. Probably. [[The caller and the one creating the bridge must have sent and received one ping each - a hello and a response, let us say; the work is done after that. He is... REASONABLY certain non-telepaths will be able to use it. He is trying to design it that way.]] =For now, even telepaths cannot.= A rough chuckle.

[[Be helpful or be quiet.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:43 PM Prowl opens his mouth, shuts his mouth, and frowns. "... Aren't audio comms and verbal comms the same thing?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:43 PM [[Written communications. Excuse him.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:45 PM "Ah. Right. Okay." He nods, considering it. "... And you're having trouble making the endpoint show up where it should. You've tried anchoring it to a relative point from the comm unit being targeted rather than an absolute point in space?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:50 PM [[Not at first. It has gotten better since he made that adjustment, but not perfect.]] Something to do with how the comm unit itself is pinpointed, perhaps. He doesn't quite know. He'll have plenty of charts and diagrams on how it works if Prowl wants to take a look at them at some point.

[[We sent Laserbeak on three trips to Earth this weekend. The fourth did not go as planned.]] That may be why she isn't here tonight. Shh. [[She says that its moon is not a terrible place to be, though.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:53 PM Prowl huffed. "If you're getting results that erratic, it sounds like some error in the calculations rather than a flaw in the methodology itself. It might just be a couple of misplaced digits. Can I see?" Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:56 PM [[Yes. But you cannot tell anyone what you see. Or where you will be. ... Except the Constructicons. He knows they will know everything. But if he finds them down there, they will not like what happens.]]

[[He hopes you are not claustrophobic. There is not much room to move in the basement.]]

He'll open a bridge for them to get into. A safe one, because it's the same coordinates he always uses, not calculated by comm. Prowl (verdigrisprowl) Yesterday at 11:59 PM "So, standard operating procedure."

Oh, NOW bridges are back on. "I can shrink if need be." He heads through the bridge down into the basement. Soundwave (Slenderwave) Yesterday at 11:59 PM Well, yes. He did say they were supposed to have finished by now. And off they go.

#chat

[the-desolated-quill]

Arachnids In The UK - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Spiders. It had to be fucking spiders, didn’t it?

Normally I watch each episode multiple times before writing a review in order to pick up on every nuance and detail. With Arachnids In The UK however, I just about managed two viewings and that was a Herculean effort I can tell you because... you know... fucking spiders. So apologies if this review isn’t as detailed as previous ones. Frankly you should be grateful you’re even getting a review of this at all because... you know... FUCKING SPIDERS!

So then. Let’s talk about the fucking spiders. The fear factor of this episode will depend on how you feel about spiders in general. If you’re one of those weirdos who keep tarantulas as pets (seriously, what’s wrong with a dog or a gerbil or something? Can’t you just be normal?), then you probably found this quite quaint. If however you’re like me, a confirmed arachnophobic and colossal wuss, Arachnids In The UK most likely terrified the fucking life out of you.

But wait. It gets worse. I would have been shitting myself if the spiders were regular sized, but that’s not enough for Chris Chibnall. Oh no. These spiders are ever so slightly bigger than that. How big, I hear you ask? Think Aragog from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Yeah. That big.

At this point I’d like to extend a massive fuck you to Doctor Who’s special effects department for really putting in an almost criminal amount of time and effort into making these giant, eight legged demons from hell look as photo realistic as possible. Each individual, computer generated hair rendered with absolute care and attention to detail, making the spiders that much more skin crawling to look at. I mean it wasn’t as if I was planning to sleep that night anyway.

I also have to begrudgingly commend Sallie Aprahamian for her direction. The lighting, camera angles and use of sound really help create a creepy atmosphere and build tension effectively. Because spiders, even massive spiders, aren’t the type of monsters to jump out and attack you directly. No, the little fuckers like to sneak up on you and catch you unawares, and that’s what this episode really takes advantage of.

So what reason did Chris Chibnall come up with for giant fucking spiders to exist? Genetic experiments and toxic waste. Stupid? Yes, but so is the idea of a wooden blue box travelling through time and space, so let’s not get too critical. Just pretend that scientist works for Norman Osborn from the Marvel Comics and go with it.

Let’s move away from the spiders (quickly please) and talk about the characters because they’re, once again, the strongest part of the show. The Doctor is still just as delightful as ever with Jodie Whittaker switching from comedy to drama effortlessly. I especially liked at the beginning of the episode where she’s noticeably sad to be saying goodbye to her new friends only for her face to light up again when Yasmin invites her for tea. After Steven Moffat’s ‘the Doctor lies’ bullshit and Twelve acting all brooding and stoic, it’s refreshing to see a Doctor who displays their emotions openly. I also liked the way she interacted with the spiders. While everyone else is understandably shitting themselves, the Doctor is the only one who tries to give the spiders any kind of dignity, even going so far as to comfort the giant mummy spider at the end as it dies. She doesn’t view them as disgusting or frightening. They’re living creatures like her and deserve the same kindness she would give to a human.

Of course the main purpose of Arachnids In The UK is to get the companions to sign up for more adventures and I really like how this is done for the most part. Ryan is very quickly becoming my favourite companion and Tosin Cole is clearly having a lot of fun in the role. My favourite scene in the whole episode was him using grime music to lure spiders into the panic room. That got such a big laugh out of me. He’s just a really likeable character and I love how he’s growing and developing. He’s come a long way since The Woman Who Fell To Earth. He’s become a lot more confident and I think it’s because he feels he can achieve great things with the Doctor. He likes that he feels valued by her and that’s nice to see. And he clearly still has a lot more room to grow as shown by his scenes with Graham, which are easily the highlight of the episode. His negligent father wants Ryan to move back in with him, calling himself his ‘proper family,’ which irks Ryan. Over the course of these four episodes, Ryan and Graham have grown so much closer as Ryan slowly starts to let Graham in. I love their camaraderie and the understated love between them and I can’t wait for the episode where Ryan finally calls Graham ‘grandad’.

Graham too is brilliant. We see him return to his home and start properly coming to terms with a life without Grace and I love how it’s portrayed. New Who has an unfortunate tendency to really overegg the pudding when it wants to elicit an emotional reaction from the audience (see the Tenth Doctor’s farewell tour or the Eleventh and Twelfth Doctor’s ghastly final monologues). Chris Chibnall so far really seems to understand that less is more and the same is true here. There’s no obnoxiously loud sad music or sappy monologues. In fact the imaginary conversations Graham has with Grace are actually quite mundane, talking about when to put the bins out and things like that. What makes these scenes so powerful is Bradley Walsh. His performance, his facial expressions, everything he does sells the pain and heartbreak Graham is going through. It’s truly an acting masterclass that puts the previous showrunners attempts to tug at the heartstrings to shame.

I’m very curious to see what happens to Graham going forward. Him wanting to travel with the Doctor in order to cope with his grief and avoid knocking around an empty house is quite a compelling reason to become a companion. Haven’t really seen that done before. And... is it just me, but is this coming across as a bit... death wish-y? What with this and his cancer recovery as well, I’m deeply worried something bad is going to happen to him come the end of the series. I really hope not. I would be devastated.

Finally there’s Yasmin and... yeah, I’ve mentioned before how I’m not exactly warming to her. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate her. Mandip Gill is doing a great job with the material she’s being given and Yasmin is a nice enough person, but as I’ve said in previous reviews, she comes off as a bit superfluous. Even the introduction of her family doesn’t really do much to establish her as a key member of Team TARDIS. In fact she’s coming across as an amalgamation of Rose Tyler and Martha Jones. Rose because of her desire to find something more in her life and Martha because she wants to get away from her boring and annoying one dimensional family. She doesn’t really stand out as her own character and I put it down mostly to the ensemble cast. It’s the classic case of ‘two is company, but three is a crowd.’ It’s the same reason why Susan and Adric got sidelined in the classic series (as well as the fact that Adric was an irritating little shit that deserved to be smacked upside the head) and she just pales in comparison to Ryan and Graham, whose characters and storylines are much stronger and more interesting. I really hope she gets a chance to shine soon because so far I honestly couldn’t care less about her, and considering she’s the first ever Muslim companion, that’s really disappointing.

Since we’ve shifted to criticism, lets talk about the supporting cast. Yasmin’s family, as I said, are quite boring. They’re just your typical family with the typical overbearing mum (maybe it’s time for New Who to consider stopping all the family stuff now). The scientist... exists, doing nothing other than to introduce the spiders as a plot device and occasionally give exposition on spider ecosystems. Finally there’s the hotel guy, played by Chris Noth who tries to wring every last drop of comedy out of the part and is actually quite amusing on occasion, but sadly doesn’t have an actual character as such other than being a painfully on the nose parody of Donald Trump. Not only is this futile in and of itself because some could argue that Trump is so extreme that he’s practically impossible to satirise, but also nothing ever really comes of it. He’s a prick at the beginning, he’s a prick at the end, and there’s no real payoff or satisfying closure. Not only does he not learn his lesson, I actually found myself agreeing with him a few times. Like what’s the difference between shooting the spiders and locking them in a panic room so they can eventually starve to death? And what was the Doctor planning to do once she herded the giant mummy spider out of the ballroom? Set it up in a nice cozy bedsit? And if it’s suffocating to death anyway because its lungs have grown too big and can’t absorb enough oxygen, wouldn’t shooting it be the kindest thing to do at that point?

While I’m on the subject of guns, how the fuck is his bodyguard able to get away with carrying a gun in Sheffield? You’re not in America now, sunshine. And how come Yasmin, the police officer, doesn’t do anything about it or the fact that her mother was wrongfully dismissed? (at gunpoint. I need to keep pointing that out. Her mum was fired from her job at gunpoint in Sheffield). Come on Chibnall!

Arachnids In The UK has flaws to be sure, but its excellent execution of the main plot and threat as well as its genuinely touching and heartwarming moments between the main characters that help it stand out. The weakest episode so far, but still very enjoyable.

#arachnids in the uk #chris chibnall #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #graham o'brien #yasmin khan #mandip gill #ryan sinclair #tosin cole #bbc #review #spoilers

[mst3kproject]

815: Agent for HARM

I fear I am among the minority who really don’t find the host segments in this episode funny.  They’re kind of tedious and frustrating, really – though I do smile at Crow being a character witness – and when the time came to re-watch the episode in preparation for this review, I actually skipped them and got straight to the movie. It’s pretty drab, too.

Dr. Jan Stefanik defects from… somewhere or other, and moves to California to do… some kind of research.  When his assistant Henry suddenly dissolves into a mess of green goo, spy organization HARM decides Stefanik needs a full investigation and sends Agent Adam Chance, a guy who dresses like Mr. Rogers and still manages to sleep with every woman he meets. Stefanik explains to Chance that his country has new and terrible tool of destruction: an alien Spore that reproduces by feeding on human flesh.  That’s right, they’ve weaponized the space mummy fungus from Being from Another Planet!  The movies are coming together into a single, mud-clear, incoherent whole, again!

Y’know, Secret Agent Super Dragon and Danger!! Death Ray weren’t very good, but they could legitimately claim to globe-trotting adventures.  Super Dragon took us to Amsterdam, and Death Ray at least mentioned Rome and Barcelona.  In Agent for HARM we see one beach and a motel in Mexico.  The whole movie seems to be in pastels, which aren’t really urgent colours, and something about the pacing is off.  No matter what the movie tries to tell us, it just never feels like we’re in any sort of a hurry.

It’s not without legitimate entertainment value.  The music’s not bad – it isn’t totally forgettable, but also not as obnoxiously memorable as the theme from Danger!! Death Ray.  The Spore itself is a scary idea and the makeup that represents it is actually pretty good.  I especially like the impression you get that there’s a dark, hollow cavity underneath the foaming fungus, as if the victim’s face is about to collapse.  The improbably complete eyeball in Dr. Stefanik’s sample is entertainingly gross, and I like the glimpse of his lab animals that hint at what his work actually entails.

I’m sure the thing everybody remembers best about Agent for HARM, though, is Dr. Stefanik’s niece Ava. She’s cute and blonde and spends most of the movie running around in tiny little bikinis, and she works for the bad guys because of course she fucking does.  This plot point is so obvious to anybody who’s ever seen a movie in their lives that I’m not sure why the writers bothered establishing it.  The beautiful woman in a spy movie is always working for the bad guys.

I really would have liked to see way more of the relationship between Stefanik and Ava.  Actually seeing them interact at any length might have helped to dispense with the creepy vibe we get from their age gap, her habit of wandering around in nothing but a tiny swimsuit, and Stefanik’s wistful commentary on how close they’ve become.  It’s easy to see why Mike and the bots made some jokes about incest.  Some character development here might also have suggested why Stefanik trusts her, when he surely must have suspected her of spying when she first showed up.  The interactions we see make her look so damn suspicious that if she’d turned out to be genuine, Dr. Stefanik’s actual niece who really does want to help him, it would have been a shocking twist!

What would not have been a shocking twist would be if she turned out to be a robot.  Barbara Bouchet wears so much makeup she looks like she’s made of plastic (or maybe that’s just her face – she looked exactly the same as Moneypenny in Casino Royale and Maria in Black Belly of the Tarantula… man, I’ve seen a lot of terrible movies) and for some reason her hair looks fake.  She moves kind of robotically, too, and the first time I watched the movie I was thinking about the comparison well before Chance declares ‘she’s a machine’.  He may have been more right than he knew.

What’s somewhat mysterious is when, exactly, Chance figured out Ava was a spy.  His drunken boss asks him, but doesn’t receive a straight answer, and when you watch the movie a second time you can’t help but try to figure it out.  Was it when she blatantly tried to distract him by inviting him to go swimming with her, and he said you’re not fooling anyone, Angel?  But if so, why does he later save her when the guy who looks like Prince threatens her, if he already knew it was a ruse?  Is it so she wouldn’t know that he knew?  Was it when he realized the gun she’d given him wasn’t loaded?

I actually lean towards the latter incident as the moment of revelation, because it’s the one he references when he has her arrested. That also explains why he doesn’t give his boss a straight answer – he’s ashamed it took him that long.

The love story in this movie isn’t between Chance and Ava – or Chance and Karate Girl, or Chance and Beehive Secretary – anyway.  It’s the bromance between Chance and Dr. Stefanik.

The two of them start off deeply suspicious of each other. Chance has been sent to keep an eye on Stefanik and he’s quite worried that the scientist may be some kind of spy himself.  Chance threatens him with both death and deportation.  Stefanik, meanwhile, is a man whose main flaw is that he trusts too easily, and he has learned the hard lesson that people who deal in the fate of nations do not make good friends.  He fears the Americans may try to use Spore as a weapon just as his own people did.  The one person he trusts is Ava, and only because she’s family – and boy, did that backfire on him – and even she is not allowed full access to his work on an antidote.

By the end of the movie, Chance and Stefanik come to trust each other totally, and are good friends to such a degree that their separation, reunion, and the reveal of Stefanik’s death plays out like a romantic tragedy.  The captured Stefanik stares at the horizon, waiting for Chance to come for him.  When they reunite, Chance wants to touch Stefanik despite knowing that the stuff in the bags, with which Stefanik is now covered, is deadly.  When told Stefanik is dead, Chance denies it over and over until the proof is staring him in the face.  If one or other of them were a woman, nobody would question that any of this is meant to be romantic, and they’re certainly closer in age than either of these gray-haired men is to twenty-two-year-old Ava.

This is two episodes in a row where I’ve talked about the homosexual undertones.  Do I just have my tumblr goggles on, or are the movies actually that gay?

A certain number of things about this film become a little clearer when you know that it, like Stranded in Space, was intended as a pilot for a TV series.  That’s why there’s not much for locations – they had to keep the budget down so as not to scare the investors.  That’s why they bring up the cancelled date with the Beehive Secretary – perhaps she was supposed to be a regular love interest.  It explains why not just the villains but the good guy of this particular story – Stefanik – must be dead at the end, because the main character can’t form long-lasting attachments that might carry into future episodes when the actors are guest stars who might not be able to come back. Maybe that’s also why Stefanik’s antidote to the fungus also didn’t work, because they were going to use Spore itself as an ongoing plot point.

Spore is an interesting and scary choice of weapon, probably the most interesting thing in the movie, and it’s possibly a metaphor for how communism was perceived in the 50’s and 60’s – as a disease that consumed societies from the inside.  We saw an example of this in It Conquered the World, when Beulah implanted mind control devices in its victims, infecting them with its poisonous view of progress.  The people in Stranded in Space thought Stryker was the one with the thought disease, here to infect their planet.  Now here in Agent for HARM, we have Spore, which enters the human body and turns it into something unthinking and alien, just as Beulah did.  Also like Beulah’s victims, who had to be killed because they could not be cured, once it has started there is no way to stop it.

Ava the ‘machine’ and the compassionless bad guy Malko also fit into this way of thinking.  Their politics have transformed them into things as unthinking and alien as the fungus. When Chance writes the words Jan Stefanik, Human Being on the toe tag, he is emphasizing that Stefanik had succumbed to a disease of the body but not to this disease of the mind.  Yet Chance’s boss reminds him, and Chance agrees, that they, too, are machines – Chance has, after all, coldly murdered several of Malko’s henchmen.  In order to fight these unfeeling enemies, he has had to cultivate a lack of feeling in himself.  Perhaps he emphasizes Stefanik’s humanity partly because he doesn’t feel quite human anymore.

Agent for HARM is okay, but it’s not great.  There’s some interesting ideas in it, under-used, and a number of those glamorous secret agent tropes, over-used.  It certainly doesn’t come near toppling Danger!! Death Ray as MST3K’s best secret agent movie – it’s just too forgettable.

#mst3k #reviews #agent for harm #tw: incest #the movies are all coming together #60s

[yoolee]

If lee wrote otome | #2 - Boss

The Heroine (MC)

CEO MC: Never gets enough sleep, which makes her sarcastic but is also semi her own fault given the amount of caffeine she consumes. Sort of obsessive about long-term planning, unwaveringly believes that a company’s value comes from its employees and will choose them over shareholder dividends every time. Determined to run an ethical company even if it means it’s not the most profitable company. Super duper Type A – aggressive and fearless because she has to be. Sometimes really just wants a cupcake in her hand and a cat in her lap, but then she’s bored and goes back to business planning. Creative risk-taker, decent negotiator. Smart enough to know where she needs help and hire people who can do the things she can’t (or, more to the point, doesn’t want to do). Gets back up every time. Will definitely fight you. Might feel bad about it later but only if someone reminds her it happened.

Love Interests

The BARISTA: Peppy, optimist (or so MC thinks) but it turns out they actually switch up their personality depending on who they’re serving (sometimes they are the chill, hipster philosopher, sometimes they are the rude New York get-it-done eye roller, etc.) actually somewhere in the middle of it all – but really IS an optimist despite themselves. Kind of slippery and hard to pin down. Big family, used to being what their other siblings/parents need from them. Fairly certain CEO MC is headed for an early heart attack with the amount of espresso she imbibes. Probably an author. Maybe an ex-broadway personjust because. IDK.

The PR LAWYER: Worked-three-jobs-put-self-through-college story. Patience, tact, good at calming people down. Detail oriented, a little fussy about appearances. Perennially exasperated by CEO (Please don’t promise to have a cure for cancer In the next three years with no data to back it up. No, you can’t punch the reporter for being a dick. Look, I know you WANT to donate 100% of proceeds to charity but please pick a friendlier one than ‘punch reporters in the face foundation’ that’s not gonna fly) never gets enough sleep. Has a key to MC’s house so they can come yell at her for making their life difficult at whatever hour of the night she insists on doing so. Is on MC’s speed-dial, which means they also get called to DD, though they’d rather not.

FLAKY MODEL(s?): Trust fund kid? Pretty face? Floats through life? The sort of person who will get on the wrong subway train and then just ride it all day people-watching never mind that they had an appointment six hours ago. Pose with a boa constrictor? Sure, as long as it’s being treated humanely. Tarantula on the face? Awwww, it’s fuzzyyyyy. No filter, no worries. Probably drags CEO MC along on a Caribbean shoot and PR Lawyer has to call and yell because that does not look good, okay? And poor MC is like, I thought we were getting a drink and model is like WE ARE we are getting tropical coconut water from the SOURCE here oh wait I don’t know how to drink out of a coconut…who knows why they are attracted to CEO MC, probably because she’s there and sticks around and no one else does. Human puppy dog.

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: young hotshot venture capitalist, thinks CEO MC is a bleeding heart (your employees do not need that many sick days, lost productivity blah blah blah why do we need a daycare onsite that’s a waste of shareholder money), kind of a math whiz, naturally lucky, doesn’t get along with family (gambling problem in the fam – which manifests in him in investment risks and unresolved issues) butts heads constantly with MC, frequently tries to get her fired – in part because his attempts to do so get her fired up and she does great things, which ultimately is better for the company than when she’s just doing her normal ‘good’ job. She is going to be royally ticked when she figures that out. Manipulative, but relatively benign under it all. The sort of person who smirks instead of smiles. All the time.

CHEF FROM HER FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Also a CEO though on smaller scale, because, running a restaurant IS running a business. Probably under the impression CEO MC is actually like, a graduate student with no money because she tends to get takeout at weird hours. Gruff, grumpy, abrupt, but heart of gold. Basically—will grumble about you coming in late but will add extra veggies to your pasta because you’re looking a little pale and need the nutrients and if you call them on it will snarl that they had to be used up they were going bad and he wasn’t going to waste extra, expensive, PROTEIN on you. (MC asks them out and then realizes the only nice restaurant she knows is the one the chef owns)

PRESCHOOL TEACHER: JUST A DECENTLY NICE PERSON. Checks in to make sure MC has eaten regularly, staying hydrated, needs anything fixed around the house (she can do her own plumbing but doesn’t like the electrical and hey it’s nice to have company). Good with kids. Maybe divorced and wanted them but ex-spouse didn’t? idk. Calm, not easily ruffled, sweet as pie, except when he’s playing video games and suddenly MC understands how he can get through the day without any aggression – he unleashes it on fictional zombies. Blissfully normal, all things considered.

PERSONAL TRAINER: “fine, whatever, EAT THE DANG CHEESE if you’re just going to ignore my nutritional advice we’re doing ten more reps” athletic, happiest when DOING versus saying or reading or sitting. Not as impulsive as you’d guess at first glance, because they tend to use working out as a meditative time to make decisions. Didn’t finish college because they realized they just didn’t enjoy it, but they did enjoy working with student athletes, which is how they got into training. Enviably fit. Wants to expand the gym so wheedles business advice out of MC in exchange for not harassing her about her tendency to drink coffee instead of water (she insists it has water IN it, it should count) not particularly intimidated by her, which is a pleasant change of pace.

Supporting Cast (non LIs)

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: Keeps MC sane, has her back, schedules everything. Good at details, even better at smiling at angry people and making them not-angry through sheer force of sunny personality (actually a ruse, MC is convinced she’s actually the most delightfully evil person ever, but like some kind of fairy tale where when you acknowledge the thing it goes away, refuses to ever dive into figuring out). Older than the MC because we need to stop making middle aged women invisible in stories?? Sometimes has to remind MC of how much she does by holding silent protests (in part why MC thinks she is secretly a supervillain in the making) which are always, always successful.

PARENT COMPANY ADMIN ASSISTANT: Bane of MC’s existence. Smarmy, smily pain in the tush.

CFO: We have put in an official request with the company credit card management to start declining purchases at that coffee shop you go to, no this is not negotiable, it’s not in the budget anymore drink so darn water woman. Completely willing to go toe-to-toe with MC, meetings often involve a lot of yelling, but they’re always productive and no hard feelings.

CIO: Serpent-y, but not in a bad way. Just a very cool-tempered person, very contained, very guarded, very introverted. Never happy when she has to do presentations, so super willing to share knowledge with MC so she does it instead (she is not a great teacher, kind of judgey and shows her frustration when MC doesn’t ‘get’ it right away, but very brilliant, and there’s no malice in the judgement, just no filter). Extremely logic-oriented and process-oriented over people-oriented. Picks up and assess tech very quickly, and good at finding affordable, fast solutions.

RANDOM MARKETING EMPLOYEE:  Set up to be a villain but is actually like gung-ho on MC’s side. Literally an ex pageant queen, went to college on scholarship from it. Out of the workforce for awhile as a stay at home mom when her kids were young, but picks up the new trends fast. Now a single mother, so will literally fight the chairman if he tries to take away the company daycare. Some days uses the ‘people see a pretty face and assume no brain’ to her advantage, some days it wears her out. Unofficially drinking buddy with MC, even though they both feel weird about it given the fact MC is technically boss’s boss’s boss.

BARTENDER: also an ex-girlfriend maybe? Current best friend? Who she turns to when the barista cuts her off from coffee and the chef’s restaurant is already closed. Sharp-tongued, bristly, generally disgusted with MC’s six inch heels and slacks in her leather-jacket, cigar smoke bar. Like lady, you’re lost. Probably on the mob payroll at some point in her life.

ROUTE PLOTS:

(Chairman route?) MERGER – company has just bought another company, which is a major risk move for CEO (can only be one, so do you keep the old one on as a VP? Do you let them go? Will they be bitter/try to sabotage you?) you have to fend off internal sabotage, get everything running smoothly without either company falling apart in the process.  

(PR Lawyer route?) Parent company did something massively shady and it’s tainting your company’s name too, so you have to scrounge to avoid having to fire half your employees and keep the company alive.

(Model route?) New product launch – hence why models are entering the picture. It’s a new business venture in the sense it’s targeted at a completely new audience your company hasn’t catered to before.

(Personal Trainer route?) Company is in its infancy, hugely risky time, and you’re doing everything you can to ensure it’s a success  (maybe including putting your own salary back into it, which means you can’t afford PT so they agree to work with you as long as you give them business advice)

FROM @han-pan- they keep trying to buy new retail space for the gym and MC keeps buying it instead because it’s SUCH GOOD PROPERTY and they sort of exasperatedly are like ugh fine whatever you owe me since you keep swiping prime spots out from under my nose

See the rest here

#if lee wrote otome

[ifleewroteotome]

#4 - Boss!

Context: Sarcastic, ambitious, slightly aggressive, creative and caffeine-addicted CEO manages her business and falls in love, featuring:

Heroine: Risk-taker, smart enough to hire people to do the things she can’t (or doesn’t want to do), gets sh-- done and done well. Drinks too much coffee and does not know what work-life-balance is.

Barista: Peppy, optimistic, concerned for CEO’s general health and well-being. Chameleon.

PR Lawyer: Not paid nearly enough. Perennially exasperated. All to often CEO’s DD. Responsible.

Chairman of the board: hotshot venture capitalist with an attitude. Super alike to CEO which is why they bang heads a lot. Never smiles--just smirks. A lot.

Flaky model: Hired to promote new product, floating breezily through life like the blessed flower child they are. 

Chef: Grump with a heart of gold, has CEO’s takeout order ready (with extra veggies because girl, vitamins)

Preschool teacher neighbor: Actual hufflepuff, single parent, has the work-life balance stuff figured out.

Personal trainer: Doer of things. Does not judge. 

Supporting cast!: Possibly-evil-but-also-awesome administrative assistant, smarmy parent company vultures, cool-tempered CIO, quick-tempered CFO, ex-beauty pageant marketing employee/ally, ex-girlfriend bartender

The Heroine (MC)

CEO MC: Never gets enough sleep, which makes her sarcastic but is also semi her own fault given the amount of caffeine she consumes. Sort of obsessive about long-term planning, unwaveringly believes that a company’s value comes from its employees and will choose them over shareholder dividends every time. Determined to run an ethical company even if it means it’s not the most profitable company. Super duper Type A – aggressive and fearless because she has to be. Sometimes really just wants a cupcake in her hand and a cat in her lap, but then she’s bored and goes back to business planning. Creative risk-taker, decent negotiator. Smart enough to know where she needs help and hire people who can do the things she can’t (or, more to the point, doesn’t want to do). Gets back up every time. Will definitely fight you. Might feel bad about it later but only if someone reminds her it happened.

Love Interests

The BARISTA: Peppy, optimist (or so MC thinks) but it turns out they actually switch up their personality depending on who they’re serving (sometimes they are the chill, hipster philosopher, sometimes they are the rude New York get-it-done eye roller, etc.) actually somewhere in the middle of it all – but really IS an optimist despite themselves. Kind of slippery and hard to pin down. Big family, used to being what their other siblings/parents need from them. Fairly certain CEO MC is headed for an early heart attack with the amount of espresso she imbibes. Probably an author. Maybe an ex-broadway personjust because. IDK.

The PR LAWYER: Worked-three-jobs-put-self-through-college story. Patience, tact, good at calming people down. Detail oriented, a little fussy about appearances. Perennially exasperated by CEO (Please don’t promise to have a cure for cancer In the next three years with no data to back it up. No, you can’t punch the reporter for being a dick. Look, I know you WANT to donate 100% of proceeds to charity but please pick a friendlier one than ‘punch reporters in the face foundation’ that’s not gonna fly) never gets enough sleep. Has a key to MC’s house so they can come yell at her for making their life difficult at whatever hour of the night she insists on doing so. Is on MC’s speed-dial, which means they also get called to DD, though they’d rather not.

FLAKY MODEL(s?): Trust fund kid? Pretty face? Floats through life? The sort of person who will get on the wrong subway train and then just ride it all day people-watching never mind that they had an appointment six hours ago. Pose with a boa constrictor? Sure, as long as it’s being treated humanely. Tarantula on the face? Awwww, it’s fuzzyyyyy. No filter, no worries. Probably drags CEO MC along on a Caribbean shoot and PR Lawyer has to call and yell because that does not look good, okay? And poor MC is like, I thought we were getting a drink and model is like WE ARE we are getting tropical coconut water from the SOURCE here oh wait I don’t know how to drink out of a coconut…who knows why they are attracted to CEO MC, probably because she’s there and sticks around and no one else does. Human puppy dog.

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: young hotshot venture capitalist, thinks CEO MC is a bleeding heart (your employees do not need that many sick days, lost productivity blah blah blah why do we need a daycare onsite that’s a waste of shareholder money), kind of a math whiz, naturally lucky, doesn’t get along with family (gambling problem in the fam – which manifests in him in investment risks and unresolved issues) butts heads constantly with MC, frequently tries to get her fired – in part because his attempts to do so get her fired up and she does great things, which ultimately is better for the company than when she’s just doing her normal ‘good’ job. She is going to be royally ticked when she figures that out. Manipulative, but relatively benign under it all. The sort of person who smirks instead of smiles. All the time.

CHEF FROM HER FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Also a CEO though on smaller scale, because, running a restaurant IS running a business. Probably under the impression CEO MC is actually like, a graduate student with no money because she tends to get takeout at weird hours. Gruff, grumpy, abrupt, but heart of gold. Basically—will grumble about you coming in late but will add extra veggies to your pasta because you’re looking a little pale and need the nutrients and if you call them on it will snarl that they had to be used up they were going bad and he wasn’t going to waste extra, expensive, PROTEIN on you. (MC asks them out and then realizes the only nice restaurant she knows is the one the chef owns)

PRESCHOOL TEACHER: JUST A DECENTLY NICE PERSON. Checks in to make sure MC has eaten regularly, staying hydrated, needs anything fixed around the house (she can do her own plumbing but doesn’t like the electrical and hey it’s nice to have company). Good with kids. Maybe divorced and wanted them but ex-spouse didn’t? idk. Calm, not easily ruffled, sweet as pie, except when he’s playing video games and suddenly MC understands how he can get through the day without any aggression – he unleashes it on fictional zombies. Blissfully normal, all things considered.

PERSONAL TRAINER: “fine, whatever, EAT THE DANG CHEESE if you’re just going to ignore my nutritional advice we’re doing ten more reps” athletic, happiest when DOING versus saying or reading or sitting. Not as impulsive as you’d guess at first glance, because they tend to use working out as a meditative time to make decisions. Didn’t finish college because they realized they just didn’t enjoy it, but they did enjoy working with student athletes, which is how they got into training. Enviably fit. Wants to expand the gym so wheedles business advice out of MC in exchange for not harassing her about her tendency to drink coffee instead of water (she insists it has water IN it, it should count) not particularly intimidated by her, which is a pleasant change of pace.

Supporting Cast (non LIs)

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: Keeps MC sane, has her back, schedules everything. Good at details, even better at smiling at angry people and making them not-angry through sheer force of sunny personality (actually a ruse, MC is convinced she’s actually the most delightfully evil person ever, but like some kind of fairy tale where when you acknowledge the thing it goes away, refuses to ever dive into figuring out). Older than the MC because we need to stop making middle aged women invisible in stories?? Sometimes has to remind MC of how much she does by holding silent protests (in part why MC thinks she is secretly a supervillain in the making) which are always, always successful.

PARENT COMPANY ADMIN ASSISTANT: Bane of MC’s existence. Smarmy, smily pain in the tush.

CFO: We have put in an official request with the company credit card management to start declining purchases at that coffee shop you go to, no this is not negotiable, it’s not in the budget anymore drink so darn water woman. Completely willing to go toe-to-toe with MC, meetings often involve a lot of yelling, but they’re always productive and no hard feelings.

CIO: Serpent-y, but not in a bad way. Just a very cool-tempered person, very contained, very guarded, very introverted. Never happy when she has to do presentations, so super willing to share knowledge with MC so she does it instead (she is not a great teacher, kind of judgey and shows her frustration when MC doesn’t ‘get’ it right away, but very brilliant, and there’s no malice in the judgement, just no filter). Extremely logic-oriented and process-oriented over people-oriented. Picks up and assess tech very quickly, and good at finding affordable, fast solutions.

RANDOM MARKETING EMPLOYEE: Set up to be a villain but is actually like gung-ho on MC’s side. Literally an ex pageant queen, went to college on scholarship from it. Out of the workforce for awhile as a stay at home mom when her kids were young, but picks up the new trends fast. Now a single mother, so will literally fight the chairman if he tries to take away the company daycare. Some days uses the ‘people see a pretty face and assume no brain’ to her advantage, some days it wears her out. Unofficially drinking buddy with MC, even though they both feel weird about it given the fact MC is technically boss’s boss’s boss.

BARTENDER: also an ex-girlfriend maybe? Current best friend? Who she turns to when the barista cuts her off from coffee and the chef’s restaurant is already closed. Sharp-tongued, bristly, generally disgusted with MC’s six inch heels and slacks in her leather-jacket, cigar smoke bar. Like lady, you’re lost. Probably on the mob payroll at some point in her life.

ROUTE PLOTS:

(Chairman route?) MERGER – company has just bought another company, which is a major risk move for CEO (can only be one, so do you keep the old one on as a VP? Do you let them go? Will they be bitter/try to sabotage you?) you have to fend off internal sabotage, get everything running smoothly without either company falling apart in the process.  

(PR Lawyer route?) Parent company did something massively shady and it’s tainting your company’s name too, so you have to scrounge to avoid having to fire half your employees and keep the company alive.

(Model route?) New product launch – hence why models are entering the picture. It’s a new business venture in the sense it’s targeted at a completely new audience your company hasn’t catered to before.

(Personal Trainer route?) Company is in its infancy, hugely risky time, and you’re doing everything you can to ensure it’s a success  (maybe including putting your own salary back into it, which means you can’t afford PT so they agree to work with you as long as you give them business advice)

FROM @han-pan- they keep trying to buy new retail space for the gym and MC keeps buying it instead because it’s SUCH GOOD PROPERTY and they sort of exasperatedly are like ugh fine whatever you owe me since you keep swiping prime spots out from under my nose

See the rest here

#otome #otome plot #otome overview #otome summary #overview #plot #summary #4 #boss

[super-sides-me]

El Diablo

Rating: G

Pairing: Patton/Virgil (Moxiety)

Word Count: 1602

Summary: Virgil visits a pet store late at night to get the perfect pet tarantula only to find that one of them has somehow escaped its enclosure. He seeks help from the only worker there at the time: a man named Patton.

A/N: Idk man.

Virgil walked into the pet store at a fairly late and unreasonable time. It was about fifteen minutes until closing, but he’d finally convinced his roommate to let him get a pet tarantula and he wasn’t going to wait a second longer to find the perfect little guy. The store was almost completely void of all people, which was to be expected at the time. He didn’t like talking to strangers much anyway. It didn’t take long for him to find where the tarantulas were, a variety of them, all of different patterns and sizes. He took a moment to look at each of them closely. If he was going to get a pet, it would need to be the perfect one. It was like getting a child. That’s how important this was.

He’d passed on about three or four tarantulas when he’d noticed something kind of odd. One of the containers in the section was, for some reason, empty. Upon further investigation, he found that the container was opened and it had most likely escaped. This wasn’t good at all! The poor little thing could get hurt if someone stepped on it or rolled a cart into it. He couldn’t bare thinking about something like that happening.

Virgil moved quickly, searching for an employee. He spotted a man in the cats and dogs section, looking in on the sleeping animals. “Excuse me.” He called, just loud enough, so he could hear him. The man turned to him with a wide, friendly smile and he could spot the name tag. “Patton. There’s a problem.”

“Well, I’m sure I can help you with that problem!” Patton was almost a little too joyous, but Virgil liked his smile, so he didn’t mind. He would have more time to enjoy it if the situation weren’t so dire.

“I think one of the tarantulas escaped.” Right as he said it, Patton’s smile fell and his face grew pale.

“The who did what now?”

“The tarantula.” He restated. “I don’t know how long it’s been out.”

“Oh...fudge!” Patton seemed panicked and unsure of what to do about the situation.

“You...really don’t like spiders, do you?”

“No! They’re horrible and creepy. And their little legs and-“ He breathes rapidly. “Oh gosh. What are we gonna do?”

“We’re gonna have to look for it.” Virgil said matter-a-fact. “Before something happens to it.”

“You’re right. I know you are.” He took a deep breath and whined. “I’ll follow your lead.” He took a step closer to Virgil, almost touching him. Virgil looked at Patton but didn’t say anything as they ventured forth. Patton stayed just a step behind in case they ran into it and Virgil didn’t mind keeping a step ahead, so he could keep his eye out for the thing.

“My name’s Virgil.” He spoke. “By the way.”

“Oh, that’s a lovely name.” Patton was back to his cheery state, but only for a moment until he seemed to remember that there was a tarantula crawling around the shop and he once again became cautious.

“Thanks.” Virgil mumbled, but was unheard. He bit back a smile that tried to form.

“If we see it...what do we do?”

“I pick it up and put it back where it’s supposed to be.”

“You’re just gonna...pick it up?” Patton’s face was a mixture of shock, fear, and awe mixed into one.

“Yeah. What else would I do?”

“I don’t know...get a bag? Or a hazmat suit?” Patton suggested, slightly startled when Virgil huffed out a laugh as if he was joking.

“It’ll be fine.” Virgil insisted. They kept moving forward slowly, sure to examine every inch of the place to spot the tarantula. They went by the array of tarantulas still in their respective containers. When Virgil showed the empty one to Patton, he heard the man gasp.

“Oh no...” At Patton’s words, Virgil became nervous that there was something he didn’t know about the situation, something bad.

“What? What is it?”

“No...” Patton wrung his hands together anxiously. “Not El Diablo.”

“El Diablo?” His eyebrows furrowed as Patton nodded.

“It’s the largest tarantula we have.” He explained, his voice full of regret, probably from ever being hired in the first place. “A really creepy flippin’ thing.”

“You named him?” Virgil asked, his nerves now replaced by amusement.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason.” He snorted. “Come on.” He continued on searching for the tarantula as Patton described what it looked like. Bigger than his hand, black, furry, beady eyes, orange on its legs, and a great personality. That last one was a joke, but Patton could only make a strained laugh that worried Virgil. Patton looked like he was gonna pass out the moment they laid eyes on it.

“AAAAH!” Patton’s rather high pitched scream echoed throughout the empty store which caused Virgil to jump and nearly knock over a shelf.

“What was that for!?” Virgil asked, wide eyed, the life scared out of him.

“Oh, sorry. False alarm.” Patton walked over to what he thought was El Diablo out of the corner of his eye, but was really just a dog toy. He picked it up and giggled, showing it to Virgil, who couldn’t help the little smile on his face as his nerves calmed. Patton placed the dog toy back on the shelf and gave a thumbs up to Virgil. Virgil raised a thumbs up back and opened his mouth to speak when he spotted something.

Right on the shelf behind Patton, less than a foot away, was El Diablo.

“Uh, Patton.” He spoke, trying not to freak him out.

“Yes, Virgil?” He asked with a smile.

“Don’t freak out, but...it’s right behind you.”

“What!?” He turned around and the moment he got sight of the tarantula only inches away, he nearly started crying. He broke into a full sprint towards Virgil, nearly knocking him over when he grabbed his arm to keep him close and hid behind him. “Get it! Get it! Get it!”

“I will. Just take a deep breath.” He looked over at Patton, who was still holding onto his arm with a vice grip as he walked towards the tarantula. “Hey, El Diablo.” He spoke, reaching out for it. He tried to ignore the fact that Patton was pressing his face against his shoulder because there were more important things to bring attention to other than the very adorable nature of this man. When Virgil’s hand was close enough, the tarantula walked into it, barely fitting comfortably. He smiled as he looked down at it. If his free hand wasn’t currently trapped, he would have given the little thing a pet on the head. “It’s okay, Patton. It’s not gonna hurt you.”

Patton looked up from Virgil’s shoulder and tensed when he saw El Diablo testing on Virgil’s hand. Its legs moved occasionally an Patton tightened his grip on Virgil. “Let’s put it back.” He said quickly.

“No.” Virgil brought the tarantula closer to him. “I think I’ll buy him.”

“You’ll what?”

“That’s why I came here. To get a tarantula.” He grinned. “I think El Diablo is a good pick.”

“Oh lord.” He let go of Virgil, sighing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sensing a distress from Patton other than just the creature he was holding.

“Well...” Patton crossed his arms, his eyes looking everywhere but the tarantula. “It's gonna be hard for me to date a guy who has a pet tarantula.”

“Oh, w-” Virgil started speaking before he'd even fully processed the meaning behind Patton's words. He was taken aback, but pleasantly so. “Y-you want to...um...” He rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

“I would like to if you want to. You're just as cute as a button. I was thinking about it when I saw you walking around before the whole...tarantula situation.” He let out a laugh, still mildly creeped out from the tarantula. He watched Virgil for  reaction and then after a moment of waiting, he broke the silence. “I should probably do my job.” He said, walking with Virgil over to help him check out and get everything situated with his new found pet. Virgil was quiet and looked a bit lost.

“I'm sorry.” Virgil said suddenly. “Are you sure you want to?”

“Want to?” Patton asked, head tilted to the side.

“Want to go out on a date with me, I mean.” He clarified, biting his lip.

“Of course. Tarantula and all.” Patton smiled in reassurance, though they both knew that Patton would need time to get used to El Diablo. Virgil's tense shoulders relaxed at the assurance. This could be good.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Let's do it.” He pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling too wide. He held the box with El Diablo in it and realized that he had to leave now. It was likely well past closing now and he'd gotten what he came here for. Patton wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Virgil.

“Call me when you get home. Then we can make plans.”

“So...” Virgil looked down at the phone number in awe. “It'll talk to you later, then.”

“Yeah, later.” Patton beamed. “Bye, Virgil.”

“Bye, Patton.” Virgil left the shop, smiling to himself as Patton waved him goodbye.

#sanders sides #moxiety #fanfic #whenever I post a fic I'm like Roman in accepting anxiety 2/2 #'Was that good!? Did I do good!?'

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #20

Sometimes it blows my mind how many questions and comments you all have and want to share. This makes 400 we’ve got to in this format. Once again I’ve tried to tag people, but if you sent a question on Anon you’ll have to look yourself to see if you were answered.

@crazy-aquarium-lady said: Do you have any experience with farm or large animals in general? Goats for instance?

I spent the first few years of my veterinary career working in mixed practice, which included large animals and goats. I really did enjoy goats, though they often weren't kept as seriously as other livestock, but I'd have to admit I'm somewhat out of practice with large animals.

Anonymous said: omg all of your animal names are incredible. i once met two cocker spaniels called Beans and Trousers and that was pretty amazing

Bean and Trousers are great names too

@sketchingblanks said: Hi there Dr. Fox! Thank you for your wonderful blog and all that you do. My dwarf hamster recently passed away at the age of 3 and I'm a wildlife rehabilitator who has dealt with animal death many times before, but it's never quite the same when it's one of your own. However it did make me wonder what is the smallest animal you have ever worked with? Was it more fun or challenging? Question tax: How do you take your tea? I usually have something herbal (like peppermint/spearmint) with honey.

The smallest patient I've personally dealt with was a mouse. But the finch with the broken leg was pretty close. Believe it or not I don’t actually drink tea.

Anonymous said: Question: have you ever treated an arthropod (specifically tarantulas, because they can rupture their abdomen pretty easily) or know someone who specializes in that? Because I'm quite interested in knowing if vets provide care to arthropods, or if its better for the owner to perform medical care to their tarantula at home (ICU's, helping a bad molt, treating hemolymph leaks, etc).

I haven't personally treated an arthropod, though I learned a bit about them during work experience at the Melbourne Aquarium, most of their medicine seemed to be 'just don't make them sick'. There are vets that will treat them though, the Bird & Exotic Animal Clinic is my go-to for exotics (you should check out their facebook page).

Anonymous said: You dont have to reply to this if you dont want to, i just wanted to say i have rats and i love them so much and i will do anything they need at the vets. Because idk i thought maybe you might need encouragement that there are people who prioritize exotic animals health. I hear a lot of stories of people that wont get vet care for their rats but not a lot about people who do. Thought it might give you a little bright light amongst all the dark. Have a great day youre amazing.

People like you are definitely out there. Thank you for your comment.

Anonymous said: just needed to blow off a bit of steam because this still annoys me, but my father told me that taking a hamster to the vet to make sure she's healthy before taking her to college with me as a support pet was "a waste of money." granted, he hasn't taken the family cat to the vet in about seven years, so he generally seems to think that veterinary care is a waste of money. i love my hammy and i just want to make sure she's healthy, but since she isn't a cat or dog, she's "not worth it"

Anon, sounds like your father would think any dollar spent at a vet clinic is a waste of money, regardless of what sort of animal it was. There's not much you can do to change people's minds about this, so just do what you need to do.

Anonymous said: It's amazing how many people don't understand how economics works. They seem to expect vets to do everything for free or for cheap, but if they did that, how could they afford to eat? And besides that, you guys DESERVE to be paid for your time and effort. I wish more people thought about it like that instead of just looking at their bill and thinking that their pet's life isn't worth that much. Thank you for everything you do.

Veterinary medicine is one of the fields where people seem to think it's criminal for a practice to make a profit. Most other professions are not vilified for making a wage, but we're expected to like our jobs enough to work for free. Partly this is our own fault because we start to believe it after a while but we do frequently undercharge, do desexing surgery at cost, and treat strays and wildlife for free. The difficulty is most of this charity is invisible

Anonymous said: I want to say thank you as well because I thought I wanted to become a vet for the longest time, but reading this blog among others has actually taught me that it probably wouldn't be right for me. Now I'm more interested in something like a research professor. The amount of respect I have for you is boundless. I love seeing your work and following you and I think it's a good thing that I stumbled across this blog. This way I won't be stuck in a career that I wouldn't like.

Being stuck doing something you don't really like isn't a fun place to be. I'm glad you've found some more options and hope everything works out great for you.

Anonymous said: My favourite part of your blog has always been your vet stories, so I've been curious -- What kind of case/problem gives you the most satisfaction to solve?

Anything where I actually find a treatable diagnosis. Animals that get better 'mysteriously' are great and all, but I want to know why. And getting the answer is only bitter sweet if the answer is catastrophic or terminal. EPI, Addison’s and reconstructive cases are my favourite, because you can do so much good for them.

@daedricprincessxoxo said: Cute story for happiness: So a nurse-for-people brought in her dog for a sick visit. Unlike most human med people I've met, she was so respectful of those of us in veterinary medicine, and absolutely fascinated by how similar it all was to human medicine. Not only was she a dream client, her dog had freckles on its nose, which the vet adored too. What was funny is when she referred to the dog's spay as a hysterectomy instead.

It's great when you get a good one instead of a know-it-all. Technically a dog spay is an ovariohysterectomy though, we take those pesky ovaries out too.

Anonymous said: Im a vet assistant at a local shelter, and while helping a family look at dogs they remarked to me, "yeah our daughter is allergic to dog FUR but not dog HAIR. Do you know which dogs have just hair?" Needless to say, i was a little speechless and just recommended a poodle. Theres no real difference....right?

It's only semantics but some people like to use it to feel special. Hair and fur are chemically the same, if you're really allergic to one you're allergic to both, but hair is finer and typically longer so either doesn't shed or sheds much more rarely. It's weirdly common for poodle owner to be proud that their dogs have hair instead of fur. As long as they end up loving the dog, it doesn't really matter.

Anonymous said: Here's one: I work at a pet store. A man came in asking for a remote electric shock collar for a 3 lb Yorkie. Told him we carried nothing small enough to be safe. He told me it wasn't for barking - he and his wife had cattle, and when they went to visit the herd the dog would go pelting towards the cows. He said, "I just need something to drop er so she don't get stomped." I suggested a leash. He replied, "Nah, she don't like leashes."

Nothing the general public does or says surprises me anymore.

Anonymous said: I have a natural English Cocker. Her tail is heavy, constantly wagging, and a hazard to any legs in the vicinity :) Where I am there's a lot of working cockers, and hunters will swear up and down that docking is necessary because they'll ruin their tails in the brambles, etc. I'm not convinced - my (pet) dog loves diving into thick cover and this has never been an issue. Their ears are surely more of a risk, I'd think, but no-one's trying to crop those. Is there any real merit to docking?

No, there is no real merit to docking healthy tails and you're correct in assuming the ears of cocker spaniels are far more problematic for these dogs. Cocker Spaniels are the most notorious breed for difficult, drug resistant ear infections, with quite a few of them requiring lateral or total ear canal ablation surgery, but nobody would even think about docking Cocker Spaniel ears. This is because docking and cropping are done for aesthetics, not function.

@cakeandpi said: A long time ago, I took my cat in to the vet because he was limping badly and did not want to be handled. Turns out, rather than breaking his leg or anything like that, his hip joint had essentially eroded away and - to quote - “looked like swiss cheese”. His leg was amputated and it healed nicely, though he never let anyone close to that part of his body again. He had a long, easy, and mobile life, until he was roughly 18 years old (he was a shelter rescue) when his kidneys finally gave out on him for good. Whatever happened to his hip bone, it was unusual enough that the vet sent a sample to a vet research clinic. It’s been a few years since my cat passed, and even more since his amputation, but it helps a little to think that that sample might one day help, I don’t know, with orthopedic research or something of the sort. Maybe. Question tax: I really like your fantasy-animal science posts!

I of course have no way of knowing where the hip bone went, but I'm sure somebody, somewhere will make use of it. Veterinary Medicine is advancing all the time, which is the best thing about science, and accumulating raw materials and data is critical for us to be able to do so.

Anonymous said: hi dr ferox! i love your blog! earlier today my sister cut our cat's claws with human nail trimmers. i know you're not supposed to do that, but i don't know why. i looked at his claws after she told me she did it and they don't look hurt. should i be worried? thank you so much!

I use human nail trimmers on my cats' nails all the time. It's fine if your technique is good, though they're not the easiest device to use for that purpose.

@gemma-handyman said: Dear Dr Ferox, I've tried to find the answer via google but have come up short. Do you know why some cats have such an affinity for loaves of bread? For instance, my grandmother's cat, Cece, would drag loaves beneath my grandmother's bed and fiercely protect the pilfered loaf. She's not the only cat I've heard of with a strange penchant for gluten and carbohydrates. Do you know why some cats love loaves of bread? Question tax: came for the mythical breed breakdowns- stayed for the irl info

Cats can digest carbohydrates, and from a metabolic point of view they're likely treating it as glycogen in terms of dehydration. Some cats like novel chewing textures, celery leaves is another common thing for cats to like, so may be just chewing it for fun.

Anonymous said: I want to be a vet tech but everyone always says I'm selling myself short... vet techs are just as useful right?

Of course they are. Have you ever seen a human hospital function without nurses?

Anonymous said: So our clinic has a batch of neonate puppies. 10 of them. I'm clearly not going to be able to sleep for the foreseeable future, as I'm on puppy duty. At least they're cute.

Good luck bottle feeding the little squeakers. They'll turn into waddling balls of chaos soon enough.

@fndm-trsh-sht said: my cat is a lil shit- but a cute lil shit- t h a t i s a l l- *slinks awaayyy*

Most cats are buddy, but we love them anyway.

Anonymous said: Something about the angle of trashbags ears reminds me of a goblin. Hes wonderful

He is a bit of a gremlin, he's starting to grow into his ears though.

#veterinarian #vetblr #20 questions #dr ferox

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Thanks for the tag, @theamiableanachronism!  I really enjoyed this one!

rules: choose any 3 fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. then tag some friends.

i choose: • Batfam • Scarlet Heart Ryeo • The Walking Dead

the first character you loved:

• Bruce Wayne and Alfred.  My first real intro to the Batfam and DC was Batman Begins, and I thought Bruce Wayne was the coolest, bravest guy ever.  And Alfred was THE BEST.  Kind, fatherly/grandfatherly, loyal, sarcasm lord

• Wang So.  Obviously.  Even before I had actually seen a single episode, because I heard he had a tragic story, and he was also as beautiful as an angel.  A dark, wounded angel, but an angel none the less.  When he stormed onto the scene and revealed himself to totally be a murder angst cupcake, as advertised, well, I was bewitched

• Dear sweet Glenn, who sasses the heck out of Rick while saving his butt.  Yeah, Glenn, the pizza delivery boy who was the bravest, most unselfish of them all.  Who became one of the most trusted leaders.  He could have turned and left Rick to die, no one would have known or cared, but he didn’t.  He helped out a stranger, and saved a heck ton of other people by that simple act.

the character you never expected to love so much:

• All the Robins, honestly.  Look, when I watched the Dark Knight trilogy, all I knew about Robin was from a clip or two I had seen of the old campy Batman show, and I kind of was glad a legit Robin never showed up in the films just because I thought it would be ridiculous.  I was SO wrong.  I had no idea.   I had no idea what dark, tragic, beautiful, light, funny, DEEP stories surrounded the MANY kids who would take up the Robin mantle

• Eun, I guess. I never hated him, but since he was always rather immature, it was easy to laugh at him and make fun of the things he did.  Then things happened, and while he remained naive in many ways, it was rather sweet and sad at the same time.  My dorky son deserved better

•Daryl Dixon.  Starts out seeming like a rough, angry, slightly racist redneck whose one redeeming quality is his concern for his even more messed up brother.  And then I realized how much of a softy he was underneath everything, how much he cared about Sophia, and how it destroyed him what happened to her.  I saw him connect with Carol, and befriend Rick and Glenn, and become Rick’s brother essentially, and be softened by Beth.  And as the seasons go on he becomes more badass, more caring, more indispensible to the group, and he loses the undesirable traits he picked up from his childhood.  We find out what his childhood was.  Daryl with Glenn is Rick’s right-hand man, and HE JUST CARES SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING DON’T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT MAN

*I’m gonna cheat and add another person for TWD: Carl.  In the first season or two he is a little kid, kind of annoying at times, but boy does he grow up and mature.  It’s a terrible tragedy what he goes through, the things he sees and has to do that no kid should ever have to.  But he is so freaking strong, and he respects his dad so much, and I love his friendship with Michonne.  I love his concern for his little sister.  I love how he shoulders responsibility, how he does what he thinks is necessary, how he worries sometimes that he is becoming a monster too.  I FREAKING LOVE HOW HE WILL nOT PUT UP WITH NEGAN HE HAS NO EFFS TO GIVE FOR THE GUY HE IS TOO MAD AND HAS SEEN TOO MUCH

the character you relate to the most:

• Well, I can relate to Jason’s love for books, to Tim’s often more quiet and reserved nature.  However, I definitely relate to Dick Grayson the most.  He is more outgoing than me, more outspoken, but he has such great love for his friends and family.  The care for his little brothers (in canon and fanon) is something that particularly calls my attention.  You see, besides two older siblings, I have four younger brothers, and I have helped raise them, I have fought against them, fought with them, fought for them, laughed with them, and busted with pride over their accomplishments.  I have been the person who tried to organize them, to tease them, to keep the peace, to enforce the peace.  And maybe I am projecting but I just really see a lot of myself in Nightwing.  The man who hopes, the man who tries to bring light to the darkest of places, the man others trust to help them when they fall.  (I also just hold him in the deepest admiration and its a thing, I try to be a better and braver person so that if he were real I would be worthy of his friendship and respect...)

• A little bit Hae Soo, because I also would get increasingly frustrated by the culture at the time.  We also share a deep love with Wang So :)  Seriously though...maybe Baek Ah?  Because he is the quiet and introspective type, he suffers quietly, he listens and hears things and tries to help those who need it, he tries to bring the outcast brother back into the family.  He is a healer of sorts, a healer of the heart, and he loves little kids and everything beautiful.  He sees things.  

• Maybe this is me projecting again but Glenn?  Kinda small and nerdy, scared of a lot of things, but bravely keeps on trucking.  And slowly rises to being one of the most integral parts of the group.  A man who has strong morals and isn’t afraid to punch an ex-military man twice his size if that man gets between him and the people he loves

the character you’d slap:

• I’d say the Joker but honestly he deserves something more like a bullet to the head.  I would totally slap a lot of the writers who don’t know what character development means, and I would slap at least half the Batfam because sometimes they just don’t know how to communicate feelings properly.  And they frequently hurt each other even without meaning to.  After all of this, however, I would pull them all in for individual hugs.  Oh, I will also totally slap anyone who ever so much as tries to give Dick Grayson grief about the awful things that happened in the Blockbuster and Tarantula incident

• Wook.  UGH.  Also his sister and Queen Yoo.  The king, whatshisface.  Taejo?  also the little creep Won.  I would slap Yo but I would be afraid to mess up his eyeliner, which is on point at all times and is too wonderful to destroy

• Andrea.  I am so sorry but I could not stand that woman ever.  I rarely actively dislike a fictional person, and I apologize to fans of the comics, I realize that the show screwed over her character, but I despise Andrea with everything I’ve got.  Mostly because she runs around proclaiming how much better she is than everyone while at the same time making colossal mistakes.  And honestly her end was ridiculous.  If Glenn can take out a walker while beaten up and duct-taped to a chair, you can figure out how to pick up pliers with your feet

three favourite characters (in order of preference):

• Dick Grayson is the love of my life, and then I guess Bruce, Jason, Tim, and Damian are tied for second place, and then directly behind them are Barbara, Cass, and Steph (I need to read more comics and fics about them, and I am sure they will advance to make the second tier even more crowded).  Alfred is in a special category all on his own

• Wang So (love of my life), Bae(k) Ah, and I guess a tie with Hae Soo, Jung, Woo Hee, and Lady Oh

• Glenn is first in my heart now and forever, and Carl, Daryl, Carol, Michonne, Maggie, and Rick all hold second place.  I like a lot of the other characters, but I’m going to give third place to Tara, and she doesn’t have to share with anyone.  She is just that cool (also awkward and adorkable)

a character you liked at first but not anymore:

• I love every single member of the Batfam to with all my heart.  (The ones I am familiar with, don’t know much about Duke and Harper yet.)  To go beyond, to characters in the universe, well I won’t say I ever liked the Joker but I thought he was a really great bad guy, Batman’s ultimate foe, someone who should always be around throwing wrenches into things and whatnot.  This was after I had seen him in the The Dark Knight.  Then I started actually reading comics related things and HE KILLED JASON TODD.  MY SON.  NOW I DON’T CARE I WANT THE JOKER DEAD I WANT HIM DESTROYED, OBLITERATED, AND NEVER LOOKED BACK ON. 

• Wook. I thought he was occasionally sweet, if not exactly the strongest of persons.  And then I met his wife, who deserved SO MUCH BETTER.  And then Wook revealed himself to be a jealous little eggshell

• SHANE.  He’s kind of like The Walking Dead’s version of Scarlet Heart Ryeo’s Wook.  Originally a decent guy, a good friend, but when things go south, he gets selfish and self-centered and bad things happen.

a character you did not like at first but now do:

• No one really?  I think?  Unless you want to bring the show Gotham into this picture...which I don’t, because that would also make me want to write a book about my love for it and certain of its characters

• can’t think of anyone this applies to

• Hmm, I guess Herschel? He was kind of annoying with his whole “let’s round up walkers and take care of them in my barn.”  Then tragedy and a near death experience and eventually he winds up being the cool old grandpa

3 otp’s (in order of preference):

• I actually don’t have a strong preference as of yet...I kind of like BatCat, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle.  I haven’t experienced much media with either pairing yet so I have read and enjoyed both DickBabs (I still say it should be Dabs) and DickKori.  Ooh I like Tim/Steph (is there a ship name for that?).  I ship Jason with happiness.  Actually I ship the whole Batfam with happiness and peace and a good night’s sleep.  I don’t ship Damian with anyone because he is just a bby birb :)

• SoSoo, Baek Ah x Woo Hee, Eun and Soon Duk (Deok?).  Also, So x Happiness/Peace/A Living Family Who Loves Him

• GLENN AND MAGGIE FOREVER.  TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.  Richonne is great and I definitely like Caryl.  (I shipped Bethyl just a little, once upon a dream.)

this was fun :) if any of y’all want to do this @itspileofgoodthings @thelonelybrilliance @nalavistahlia @blackaquokat @castieltaking-hobbits2gallifrey @camsthisky @abadpoetwithdreams @tabbyofwisdom ...I feel like there are other people I want to tag but it is way late (early) and my brain is dead forgive me if I left you out and please consider yourself tagged!

#tag games #fandoms #batfam #scarlet heart ryeo #the walking dead #those are all very different things