#lee jihoon seventeen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leejihoonownsmyheart · 1 year

Text

Car Crash

Title: Car Crash

Genre: Fake dating, enemies to lovers

Tags/Warnings: idol!yn, idol!jihoon, gn!yn but they’re in a group with girls so interpret as you will (also sex), arguing, word count (all together) 35k words :(, Sungsoo exists which is always scary in fics, Jihoon’s kind of shy

Smut warnings: Smut is in part two, Reader is a bottom, dirty talk, teasing, Jihoon isn’t shy when they’re having sex, top!Jihoon, …mindbreak?, creampie, overstimulation, blowjob, fingering

I split this into two parts because it is so stupid long.

Part One:

You watched in quiet amusement as Jihoon slipped into his studio, clearly not knowing yet that you were there. To announce your presence without being too startling, you pressed your hand against the computer keyboard on the desk surface beside you, making it squeak a little in resistance.

Jihoon jumped at the noise, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling open when he saw you. You laughed at the reaction and raised a hand in the air.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” You assured him softly. You watched him visibly relax, his shoulders dropping as he set the plastic bags in his hands down on the studio floor.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, and you would be stupid to not notice the small hitch in his voice as he spoke. You didn’t pay it too much attention. You just kicked your dangling feet more through the air, humming as you lowered your eyes down to your toes.

“Just thought I would come check up on my dear Jihoonie,” you replied, your voice dripping with a sweet tone that you didn’t even know that you were capable of. When you looked up Jihoon was just standing there staring at you, clearly wanting to know why you were really there.

“The company wants us to go out. Jeonghan tipped off the press that we have big plans tonight,” you explained with a grunt. “So, we’re going on a date.”

Jihoon didn’t say anything to that- to the point that his silence made you a little bit anxious. You raised your eyes to his again and noticed that he was just staring at you. God you didn’t understand him. Why was he so surprised by something so simple?

“Get off my desk,” Jihoon finally said. “I told you not to touch my things.”

You and Jihoon were in a rather peculiar situation with one another. It wasn’t exactly complicated, but it also wasn’t simple. The basics went like this: You and Jihoon had hated one another since the first day that you were just starting as a trainee at Pledis.

You took one look at one another and knew that you two wouldn’t work out. It wasn’t anything that really made sense. Everyone said that you two would get along and liked all the same things, but you two had decided either way that you would be enemies from day one and it was the only thing that you two agreed on.

If Jihoon decided that he wanted to do something, you decided that you wouldn’t be caught dead doing it. If Jihoon heard you were the one preparing dinner for everyone that night, he ordered take out. If you found out that you would be recording with Jihoon in the studio, you made a point to be as late as you could justify.

The only problem with your little feud was that it wasn’t really good on the company.

“Rumors are getting out that you two hate each other,” Sungsoo said pointedly, his eyebrows raising as he leaned forward on his desk.

“Rumors are true,” Jihoon replied just as bluntly. “What’s next?”

“We can’t have these things get out,” Sungsoo grunted with a slight roll of his eyes. “We try to pass ourselves off as a company that is more like a family then a group of strangers.”

“Family fights,” you replied, reaching across the room and lightly hitting Jihoon over the head. Jihoon jumped slightly and made a sound of protest as he hit you back.

“I can’t believe you would hit me!” Jihoon protested

“You’re hardly a human to begin with!” You shot back.

“This is exactly what I am talking about!” Sungsoo interrupted. You turned to look at him, immediately regretting your actions. Sungsoo was so angry he was red. “We can’t tolerate this behavior, why do you two even hate each other so much?”

Silence filled the room.

“Alright, that settles it. Too much is happening because of you two. People are starting to make video compilations addressing the rumor. Luckily, it’s nothing substantial,” Sungsoo continued. “What do you think we should do? Hmm, how do you guys propose to start stamping out these rumors?”

Still, silence was all that could be heard.

“You two are going to start dating.”

“What?!” Both you and Jihoon exclaimed at the same time. Sungsoo shot you both a look and you sat back down.

“You can’t be serious,” you mumbled. “Surely a dating rumor is worse than one that we hate each other.”

“It’s a risk,” Sungsoo agreed with a small nod of his head. “But a risk that I’d rather take then let people think that the trainees under this company don’t like one another.”

“I won’t do it,” Jihoon protested. “I won’t even pretend to date someone like-”

“Then I’ll postpone your comeback, and suspend you from the group,” Sungsoo said. “A hate rumor leads to bullying rumors, and bullying rumors can ruin your groups reputation and lead to disbandment. A dating confirmation just means that everyone under our company gets along and we gain the respect of a lot of foreigners.”

You looked over at Jihoon, shocked that you were hearing what you were. It was clear that the decision for you two had already long been determined and that no wasn’t really an option. You couldn’t believe that this was the solution they had come to when faced with the threat of a bullying rumor.

“There has to be some other solution,” you said, turning back to face the President. “Any solution. I promise we’ll behave from now on-”

“The date is already planned,” Sungsoo interrupted. “You either agree or your careers as idols are over. I love you guys, and I know this is harsh but this- it’s for the best.”

You couldn’t help the way that Sungsoo’s words echoed through your head that day, and the days after. You couldn’t really wrap your head around the fact that you had somehow gotten yourself dragged into this impossible situation.

Looking back on it you were beginning to regret being so public about your distaste for Lee Jihoon, but now... It was a little late to go back on that.

You stood in front of your mirror, absolutely fuming at the fact you had to go on this date at all. Everything about this felt wrong to you, even the outfit that you knew you would normally love to wear. Why were you dressing so cute for Jihoon anyways? It was just stupid Jihoon. There was a soft knock at your door and before you could answer it, the door was being pushed open.

“Look at you, you know mom is so proud that you’re going on your first date,” Jeonghan cooed. You glanced back at him over your shoulder in time to see him propped against your door frame. “Dad’s not too excited about it.”

“Don’t you have dance practice?” You asked, aggravation creeping into your voice. Jeonghan shrugged.

“This is much more entertaining.”

You weren’t really sure how Jeonghan had managed to figure out that you and Jihoon weren’t actually dating. The minute the article came out he was knocking on your door, that characteristic look on his face that told you that Jeonghan didn’t believe a single lie coming out of your mouth.

“So you and Jihoon,” he drawled. You were staring at him with your arms crossed over your chest in nothing but your pajamas. You wouldn’t put up with this from just anyone. If Mingyu had barged into your room at two in the morning he would have gotten an earful.

But Jeonghan was Jeonghan. He did what he wanted, he didn’t care what others had to say about it, and he was quite honestly one of the least judgmental people you had ever met in your life. So, when it was him, you didn’t really mind, no matter how annoyed he seemed to make you.

“It’s two in the morning Jeonghan,” you said bluntly. “Do you have anything important to say or not?”

“Depends on if you are going to lie to me or not.”

You stayed silent. Just stared at him.

“I know you and Jihoon aren’t actually dating,” Jeonghan said. “You’re telling me that the same person that was complaining yesterday about the fact that Jihoon drinks americanos has been dating him?”

You shrugged.

“It was a secret,” you said. “I had to make up something convincing. I made up that I hated him.”

“Right.” Jeonghan stared at you, practically daring you to keep the lie up.

“Jeonghan, can I go to bed?” You asked. He hummed.

“Sure.”

He turned away from you and began to close your door.

“But we aren’t done talking about this.”

And true to his word Jeonghan had not dropped the topic.

You gave said boy a pressed expression.

“Can’t you just pretend you don’t know?” You asked. Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose in amusement.

“Know that you two aren’t actually dating?” He asked. You wanted to scream.

“Know that we are dating,” you corrected. “It was easier when no one knew.”

Jeonghan hummed.

“Didn’t take you for the type that enjoyed lying.”

You wondered if ignoring Jeonghan would make it easier to resist his badgering so you pushed past him, trusting him to close the door to your room. Walking into the living room of the dorm you shared with your group members you saw Ai and Nari sitting on the couch. They must have heard the chains of your platforms clanging against your shoes because they both turned away from the drama they were watching to look at you.

You huffed, placing a hand on your hip.

“I have a boyfriend,” you said bluntly. “You can’t just let strange men into my room.”

A puzzled expression crossed Ai’s face.

“We didn’t let a man into your room, we let Jeonghan into your room.”

Nari giggled softly, hiding her smile with her hand. Nari and Ai were the two youngest members of your idol group. Nari had chestnut brown hair that fell just above her shoulders, while Ai had long black hair that fell past her lower back. They were both about the same height just barely shorter then you and-

“You act as if any of us have control over what Jeonghan does,” Chae said with a laugh. She was the eldest of your group with dark hair that matched Ai’s and the roundest cheeks of anyone that you had ever met. Between Nari and Ai; Chae undeniably looked the most innocent, but in reality she was even more ruthless than you were.

“I’m just here to see you off on your date,” Jeonghan said innocently as he joined your side. You shot him a glare and began to walk around.

“See you around,” you called over to your dorm mates. They all echoed farewells and you distantly heard their conversations turn to that of what movie to watch for the night.

You hated to miss movie night, in fact, you had been secretly really disappointed when the company had scheduled your first public date on a day that was reserved solely for you and your group mates but there wasn’t much that could be said to change things.

“You sure did get dolled up for our little Jihoon,” Jeonghan teased, falling it step with you again. You groaned.

“Jeonghan! Seriously leave me alone.”

“I’ll do what you wish just as soon as I see you and your boyfriend off.”

On a different day you might actually fight with Jeonghan for your privacy. Despite being one of your best friends he did get under your skin quite easily, but he only ever pushed you as far as you let him. You knew that if you changed your intonation and the way that you were looking at him you would be able to get Jeonghan to leave you alone.

And you knew that Jeonghan knew that as well.

But trying to convince the people closest in your life that you had been convincingly hiding a relationship with a man you openly hated had your heart in your throat. And as much as you knew he shouldn’t, you really wanted Jeonghan to know that this was all fake. You really hoped that he didn’t drop this.

When you two rounded the corner to the front door you felt your chest tighten even further. Jihoon was standing at the end of the hall, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. He had a white button up on and a pair of jeans. Nothing special really, but more form fitting then he normally wore. As you and Jeonghan approached he raised his eyes, first looking at you and then looking at Jeonghan. His eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you...?”

“Mazel tov!” Jeonghan cheered mockingly. He pushed you towards Jihoon, forcibly closing the distance between the two of you. As soon as you regained control of your body you put your hands on your hips, fixing your glare back on Jeonghan.

“He’s insisted on seeing us off,” you replied. “He thinks we’re lying.”

You had to give credit where credit was due. When Jihoon heard you, his eyes widened just so and he turned his attention fully to you.

“Why wouldn’t he believe us?” Jihoon asked you. You shrugged. He glanced at Jeonghan, giving him a weird look. “Go back to your room Jeonghan.”

As he spoke he held his hand out to you. You looked at it, for a second too long. You didn’t want to touch him. You had gone a really long time not having to touch Jihoon and you didn’t want to start now. The thought of touching someone who hated you as much as you knew that Jihoon did made your skin crawl.

You took Jihoon’s hand and pressed your lips into a smile.

You would just have to get used to your skin crawling.

“I know you two are faking,” Jeonghan practically sang. “Have fun pretending like you can actually stand one another.”

And like that you and Jihoon slipped out into the cold night air.

A date at night was actually a bit of a dream for you. There was something magical about going on a late night stroll with someone. It made everything seem so quiet.

When you were alone at night with someone you loved the huge, loud world suddenly felt just a little bit smaller.

“Your hand is clammy,” Jihoon mumbled. You sighed, your appreciation for the night broken. You pulled your hand from Jihoon’s making a point of wiping your hands against your pants.

You two walked together in silence, both keeping a good amount of space between each other. You knew that you should probably say something to him but you really didn’t want to and clearly Jihoon didn’t want to talk to you either.

And yet the silence was overbearing.

“So the paparazzi show up at the restaurant thirty minutes in?” You asked. You knew that the answer was yes but you were sick of this awkwardness.

“Congratulations you know how to listen,” Jihoon responded immediately. You felt a strand of your hair fall in your face and you pushed it back out of your face a little more aggressively than you normally would.

“You don’t have to be a dick about everything,” you mumbled. “After all-” You swung your body in front of him, pressing a wide, cocky smile on your lips, leaning close to his face. “We’re dating now.”

Jihoon didn’t even flinch. He stared at you for a moment, no emotion spreading over his face. Then his face scrunched in disgust and he brushed past you.

“Get serious,” he mumbled. You huffed out a breath of air and jogged a second to catch back up to him. “This is the absolute worse thing that could have happened to me this year.”

“I’m not thrilled about it either,” you responded sharply. “I could be on the couch rewatching the Saw movies with the girls.”

“And I could be working on the next title track for Seventeen’s album,” Jihoon bit back. “We could both be doing better things if it weren’t for your mistake.”

“My mistake?” You blurted. You were about to go off on him because the idea that this whole situation was solely your fault was laughable, but even as the anger boiled up into your throat you forced it down. “What got us into this was exactly this. Us fighting. We won’t make a convincing couple if we keep fighting.”

Jihoon fell silent for a few moments.

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

When you got into the restaurant the time between when the paparazzi arrived and when you two sat down dragged along for what felt like hours. And it was some of the most awkward hours that could have passed. You felt bad for your waitress who could practically feel the tension between you two.

When the paparazzi finally arrived and you saw the first flashes of cameras out of your peripheral, you leaned forward, holding out your hand for Jihoon to take.

“I hope you’re a good actor,” you whispered.

His eyes flickered to yours and you pulled your mask down, reaching across the table to take one of Jihoon’s fries. You smiled cheekily at him.

“Your fries are better than mine,” you said innocently. Jihoon’s face briefly flickered with disgust, but when he pulled down his mask his facial expression was one of amusement.

“My fries taste just the same as yours,” he insisted. You reached over to take another one of his and he playfully swatted your hand. “Eat your own.”

You whined playfully and began to write a story for him, telling him about your day and your friends animatedly. Jihoon actually managed to feign interest in what you had to say even though you knew that in reality he hated every second. He nodded when he needed to, laughed at all the right parts, and he never expressed anything other than pure devotion towards you.

“Do you hate me?” You asked, interrupting your story. Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up- genuine surprise riddled over his face.

“Why do you say that?”

You waved your hand in the air.

“You won’t hold my hand.”

Jihoon’s laugh sounded natural. He reached forward and intertwined his fingers with yours. His eyebrow quirked.

“Happy?”

If it hadn’t been Jihoon you thought maybe your heart would flutter.

“You have to make it up to me,” you replied coyly. Jihoon tilted his head to the side, his hair falling into his face.

“And how can I make it up?”

You stood up, pressing your body over the table. With your free hand you brushed the hair out of Jihoon’s face. You two hadn’t discussed this. The fact that you two were going to have to kiss in order to really sell this façade but you could tell by Jihoon’s face that he had seen it coming. He leaned closer to you, his lips quirking up even more. It was a clear invitation to close the distance.

“I think you know how to make it up to me.”

Jihoon pressed closer to you, his lips teasingly brushing against yours. You felt disgusted having to kiss him, but even so you pressed even closer to him completely closing the distance between you two.

The worst part about kissing Jihoon wasn’t kissing Jihoon. As an idol, you had been training since you were thirteen to debut and, that being said it left you with little time to have an actual life. You didn’t get to do clubs after school or go to the mall with friends. Your earliest memories were those of your time with Ai, Nari, and Chae. You three had spent your childhood together.

The only normal memories that you had were ones that you all had crafted together. Sneaking out to the park, and flirting with boys there until your manager found you all and dragged you back to the company. You wanted to smile remembering the punishments you three had endured when you were just trying to be kids.

All that to say, the worst part about kissing Jihoon was that he was your first kiss. A moment that people treasured in their minds so dearly. Looked forward to having so much. Fantasized for so many years snatched away from you by the man you hated the most.

When you pulled away from Jihoon there was still a smile on your lips, but you felt like a little piece of you had died.

“Are you happier now?” Jihoon asked teasingly. You sat back in your seat, squeezing his hand.

“Yeah,” you said. “Can we get dessert?”

The rest of the date flew by. You held Jihoon’s hand the whole time and you whined until he fed you some of the chocolate cake that you two shared. When the waitress brought over your check you both fought over who was going to pay like a couple in their honeymoon phase and before you left the restaurant you took Jihoon’s hat from him and put it on your own head.

It wasn’t until you two slipped back into the dorms that you both roomed in that you were finally able to drop the act.

You felt a relieved breath leave your mouth at finally being out of the view of the paparazzi’s camera lens, but your relief was brief. Jihoon snatched his hat from of your head, looking clearly aggravated as he situated it back on his head.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” he asserted.

“I had to be convincing,” you replied shrugging it off. “You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

He didn’t respond to you. He didn’t even say anything in farewell. Instead, he turned on his heel and wandered away. You felt frustration bubbling in your stomach but you didn’t get the chance to fully express it as moments later a hand was on your shoulder.

You yelped at the touch, throwing your hand over your mouth.

“Relax, it’s just me.”

You thought that it was almost worse that it was Jeonghan standing there. You let your hand drop from your mouth and you fixed Jeonghan under a glare.

“Han, I’m tired,” you murmured.

“I just want to know how the date went,” Jeonghan replied, feigning innocence. You didn’t fall for those big puppy dog eyes.

“It was nice,” you said, a fake smile flitting across your lips. “Jihoon and I don’t get to go on dates a lot. It’s nice that we can go on more now.”

“Wow,” Jeonghan said, and for a brief second you thought you had convinced him. “You are a really bad liar.”

You rolled your eyes and turned away from Jeonghan, determined to ask him why he was so confident it was fake when you heard something starting to play behind him.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” Jihoon’s voice repeated. And then you heard your voice, clear as day.

“I had to be convincing. You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

Your shoulders slacked and you looked back at Jeonghan.

“Did you wait around for hours just so you could record us and prove we aren’t dating?” You asked him. He smiled cockily.

“It was 100% worth it.”

The pro to Jeonghan knowing that you were in a fake relationship was obvious. You got to complain to someone about Jihoon all over again. Even if it was someone who was actually quite close to Jihoon no matter what you said.

“I hate this,” you blurted. “Have I said that yet? I have to kiss that jerk. Kiss him.”

Jeonghan just smiled at you as you rambled about your most recent date with Jihoon.

“You’re not being nearly convincing enough,” Jeonghan warned softly.

“Are you kidding?” You argued. “We hold hands, we kiss, I steal his clothes-”

Jeonghan was clearly completely ignoring what you had to say. Instead he opened his phone and slid his phone across the table.

“Does this really look like a happy couple to you?”

It was a picture of you and Jihoon, holding hands from one of your dates. You two had gummy smiles, and you were laughing at something he had said. To a passer-byer you and Jihoon did look like a happy couple. But under a trained eye- Even just the eye of a dedicated fan- you could see the tension between the two of you.

“We’re doing our best,” you said. “How are two people who hate each other supposed to convincingly act like they like one another?”

Jeonghan hummed softly, not seeming too affected by your excuses. He turned his attention back to the latte that was in front of him, nursing the straw as a way to divert his attention. You pressed your lips together firmly.

“What would you do in my situation?” You asked. He glanced back up at your from beneath his eyelashes.

“Try to get to know him,” Jeonghan replied pointedly. “It’s easier to fake something if there is a little bit of truth in it.”

“I don’t want to get to know him,” you replied stubbornly. “This is so stupid. How is a dating scandal better than it getting out that we hate each other?”

Jeonghan sighed.

“What is up with you? Usually you are so adaptable,” he mumbled. “But it’s like when it has to do with Jihoon you completely lose sense of what is reasonable.”

You grumbled but let your attention turn back to your phone. You slid it open, scrolling through your emails when Jeonghan peered over your shoulder.

“Have you changed your lock screen yet?” Jeonghan asked. You glanced up at him.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have a picture of your boyfriend as your lock screen on your phone.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments.

“I hate you,” you finally said. Jeonghan shrugged innocently.

“Isn’t that what normal couples do?” He asked. It was moments like these that made you wonder why you liked Jeonghan’s company so much… But then again you supposed any relationship was better than your one with Jihoon.

“Okay I think that we should be good for the day,” you panted softly, your chest rising and falling with the anticipation of having to run this dance again. While Nari and Ai practically fell to the ground in exhaustion, Chae just propped herself on you. You stood there panting and as you two were catching your breath the door to the room opened. You glanced over at the door as three people walked in. You felt pure exhaustion pump through you as you forced yourself to dip your head, all of the others following suit.

The three that had come in were Hansol, Wonwoo, and... Your aggravation almost made it so that you missed the smiles and hello’s that Hansol and Wonwoo gave you. Almost.

You scoffed loudly, causing the third person in the room to look up suddenly. Then without a smile or a nod or any type of acknowledgment he looked away, saying something to Wonwoo.

You couldn’t help the way that the pressure built in your chest at something so simple as him not acknowledging that you were there. You weren’t sure why it made you so angry- if it had been someone else you probably wouldn’t have cared- but it wasn’t somebody else. It was Jihoon.

“Do you think that you’re better than us?” You demanded. Everyone in the room seemed shocked by your outburst. Nari and Ai ran up to your side, grabbing at your wrists.

“They’re just busy-”

“It takes two seconds to acknowledge us,” you blurted. “Wonwoo and Hansol both said hi, but Jihoon thinks just because he’s the star producer of Pledis-” Your fellow members were urgently trying to hush you but it wasn’t cooling you down at all. You only stopped because finally Jihoon seemed to deem you worthy enough to acknowledge. His eyebrows furrowed and his head cocked to the side.

“I say hello to people I care about and people who deserve it,” Jihoon said pointedly. You scoffed and started to pull away from the others in your group but they stopped you before you could get very far.

“Calm down.” “Sorry about this.”

“It’s been a really tiring day.”

You protested them pulling you away but all you ended up doing was causing a bigger scene and the whole time Jihoon was just staring at you as if he had done nothing wrong at all.

You knew that today was going to be awful when you looked up from your stretches to see Lee Jihoon standing at the door to the practice room. When Ai followed your gaze, a smile spread over Jihoon’s.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Want to go out tonight?”

You forced yourself to smile back at him, trying to make it seem more real by turning your head from him a little. Ai made a really excited expression towards you and pulled you into a slightly hushed excited squeal.

You cleared your throat and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, nodding at him slyly.

“I suppose I have the time for it.”

After getting ready you finally left your dorm room to Jihoon leaning against the wall of the hallway. He looked you up and down.

“Took you long enough.”

You rolled your eyes.

“And here I thought you asked me out because you liked me.”

This date was different from the first. A walk in the park. You both went out dressed similarly to the first date, matching baggy clothes and hats and masks to hide your identities. Still the tipped off press were able to spot you two quickly and you and Jihoon did your best to put on a good show.

Despite his warnings you made a point to steal Jihoon’s hat again, laughing as he chased you around the park. You both fell to the ground and Jihoon smiled down at you, both of his hands capturing you beneath him.

“I hope love doesn’t actually make me act like this,” he whispered to you, that fake smile still spread over his face. You snorted.

“You think anyone is going to fall in love with you?” You asked him. You could tell that he was resisting the urge to sneer at you.

“Do we really have to kiss?” He groaned.

“I wish we didn’t.”

You leaned up, pressing your lips to his chastely.

“Unfortunately, we do.”

“Holy water isn't enough to get that man’s touch off of me,” you complained as the hot water splattered across your skin, washing the body soap off of you for what felt like the millionth time. Jeonghan hummed from the other side of the curtain.

“You’re being dramatic. He’s just a man.”

You peeked out at Jeonghan from around the curtain.

“If you’re going to be in the bathroom while I shower you might as well agree with me,” you grumbled. He raised an amused eyebrow at you.

“Well, I could join you in the shower.”

You snorted and slid your head back into the shower.

“That would make things easier,” you replied. “I’m sure the netizens would love it if they found out I took showers with Yoon Jeonghan along with dating Lee Jihoon.”

You whistled.

“The media would say I’m a slut.”

“Why else would you let me do wordle in the bathroom while you take a shower?”

You coated your body with soap once again and then began to wash it off.

“You barely leave me alone as it is,” you replied. “Why fight it?”

You heard your phone ding and before you could ask Jeonghan what it was he was speaking.

“The boss wants to see you and Jihoon in five.”

You groaned, letting your head hit the shower wall dramatically.

“I’ll see myself out. Have fun with your boyfriend.”

“You two are not being convincing.”

You and Jihoon glanced at one another from where you two were sitting... Practically across the room from one another. At having caught your gaze Jihoon scowled and looked away from you. You sighed.

“How are we not being convincing?” You demanded. “We kiss, we laugh, we hold hands-”

“Yeah and it’s not enough. Your fans think that this is some company ploy,” Sungsoo said.

“They have common sense,” Jihoon commented bluntly. Sungsoo glared over at him.

“You know what is one thing that you two have in common?” Sungsoo asked. You both stayed silently. “You both love music. And writing music. And expressing your feelings through music.”

You didn’t understand what this had to do with anything and Sungsoo seemed to sense that.

“You brats...” He mumbled. “You’re going to write a song together.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you both blurted. Sungsoo sighed.

“Can’t you two just be good? It’s your fault for being so unreasonable. Why do you two hate each other so much anyways?”

You both fell silent, neither of you willing to say anything. Sungsoo just sighed, rubbing his face with his hand.

“Do you know how hard it is to run this company?” He asked you two. “I have so much shit to deal with and now I have to worry about you two ruining your reputations.”

He looked back up.

“I’m not doing this to torture you two, I’m doing this because it is what we have to do in order to protect your careers. Why are you making me the bad guy?”

You and Jihoon were both silent.

“Just write a stupid love song okay? You two are good at that.”

You glanced at Jihoon at that, and Jihoon glanced at you. He seemed conflicted, stuck between angry and helpless. He didn’t let the interaction last for long. He stood up and looked from you to Sungsoo.

“Fine. One song.”

He looked back at you, his expression still unreadable.

“Let’s just get it over with.”

And then without any further dismissal he let himself out of the office.

Sungsoo was clearly frustrated. He shook his head letting it drop into his hands again.

“In all my years..” He murmured.

You sighed.

“Do we really have to do this?” You asked him. “Sungsoo, it’s just us.”

“That doesn’t change my answer,” Sungsoo said firmly. “Do you not understand how serious this is?”

“It’s just a stupid rumor about two idols disliking each other. Do you know how many rumors there are like that in the idol world?”

“You don’t-”

“Minho and Key used to hate each other, Kino and Hui, Jae and YoungK-”

“All of those are in the past tense,” Sungsoo insisted.

“So? They still actively hated each other at one point- Some for years. People understand people hating each other.”

As you spoke Sungsoo made a point to ignore you. He turned to his computer beginning to mess around with it.

“Are you even listening to me?” You blurted. “There’s literally a legendary JYP trainee fight and your worried about it getting out that Jihoon and I- two trainees in different groups- don't like each other? Mark Tuan threw a laptop at Bambam once and-”

Sungsoo suddenly turned his computer screen towards you. You faltered.

“What-”

“Just read it.”

So, you did. It was an article. It started off describing Seventeen’s career, specifically going into details about Jihoon’s image. They talked about the positive attributes that people usually attributed him with- you rolled your eyes- and then it started to talk about you and-

You couldn’t help the way your aggravation at having to read this disappeared from your face. This article wasn’t there to slander the both of you. Instead, it zeroed in on Jihoon himself. Going into reports of Jihoon making you- someone notorious for being kind and patient- suddenly angry and argumentative. Whoever wrote the article clearly had a bias towards you. It painted you as someone who could do no wrong, and Jihoon as a monster for having gotten on your bad side.

You cleared your throat, feeling suddenly pale.

“So-”

“I lied when I said it would ruin both of your careers. It won’t. In fact, it might boost your career. It will solely ruin Jihoon’s career. There are key witnesses in this talking about your interactions, blaming him for each and every one.”

Sungsoo turned his computer away from you.

“I know you hate Jihoon,” he said. “But I’m hoping that this article that depicts you as this perfect idol has the right idea of you.”

Your brain felt fuzzy.

“Has the right idea of me...?”

“If this article gets out it’s over for Jihoon,” Sungsoo said. “Are you willing to ruin a man’s career over some petty feud?”

You stood in front of the door to Jihoon’s studio, feeling like kicking the door in frustration. Instead of doing that you took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. There was only a second before the door popped open and you were met with the face of a tall, disheveled man. When he saw you his lips turned up into a mischievous smile.

“Your favorite person is here!” He called back over his shoulder. He looked back at you, his eyes full of light. “Hope you weren’t hoping for a fun date night with Jihoon. He’s working.”

You smiled.

“Hi Mingyu,” you greeted softly. As you spoke, he opened the door wide enough for you to slip into the studio. You had never been in Jihoon’s new studio before. You had been in his old studio a few times. He had helped produce a few songs for your group when you first debuted. But with you and his growing feud, your group began to work with Bumzu a little bit more closely, so you had never seen his new one.

It gave you an overall cozy feeling. There was a slightly messy area clearly just for his group mates to hang out. You only said messy because of the stray blanket on the couch, a switch on the little coffee table and the takeout trash scattered across the floor. The actual studio aspect of the room was organized chaos. There were instruments strewn about and papers littered over the countertops.

Jihoon sat in the middle of the mess, his hand buried in his hair in frustration. You cleared your throat, and he finally turned around. A smile crossed his lips.

“You’re here,” he said. You smiled back at him, and crossed the room so that you could press a kiss to the corner of his lips. In some ways, kissing him like that was better. You felt disgusted every time your lips touched. But the aspect of kissing the corner of his lips felt more intimate and personal, and you hated that almost as much.

“Ooohhhh,” Mingyu teased. “Look at him getting all gummy.”

Aggravation crossed Jihoon’s face- for once not aimed at you.

“Get out Mingyu, we have things to do.”

Mingyu’s teasing grin dropped immediately.

“No!” He protested. “I’ve been quiet!”

“You made a mess,” Jihoon disagreed.

Mingyu pouted, turning his attention to you now.

“You can convince him right? I just want to play my switch and hang out! Everyone else is busy.”

You had always liked Kim Mingyu. He had a really good heart. He got accused pretty often of doing things he shouldn’t. You couldn’t name the amount of times that you had heard that he had done something wrong. Always accused of leading girls on but you had never seen him like that. He was just social and desperate for attention.

If you were willing to pretend for the next couple hours that you were in love with Jihoon you would certainly barter for his company in the room. You knew how much he loved to just be in the same room with people he cared about.

But, unfortunately, you weren’t willing to pretend that you liked Jihoon for that long.

“I don’t get a lot of alone time with Jihoon,” you said apologetically. Mingyu gave one more helpless look to Jihoon who didn’t step down from his earlier stance. Mingyu sighed.

“Fine,” he said softly. He began to pick up his things, making a point of sulking while doing it. The whole show kind of made you want to laugh. You had known that when it came to the other members of Seventeen he was clingy, but you never realized he was this clingy. He reminded you a bit of Ai. She was always willing to do anything just to be in the same room as one of them.

“Bye Mingyu,” you called out as he walked out of the room. The minute the door was closed you hummed contently. “I like him.”

Jihoon turned in his chair, facing his computer again.

“Something we can agree on,” he said softly. “Anyways, this song.”

He gestured towards a chair near his and you took a seat, leaning forward to look at his computer.

“I was thinking maybe I could write it and produce it and then we can just pretend we did it together,” he commented. ”Better than actually working on it together.”

You rolled your eyes.

“My fans will notice if I don’t help,” you turned down immediately. “I don’t want to help you out but Jeonghan and Sungsoo say we aren’t being convincing. This has to be convincing. Besides I don’t want my name on something you did.”

Jihoon glanced over at you.

“So what do you propose?” He asked.

“We do what Sungsoo said,” you replied with a shrug. He scoffed, but you leaned forward. “So, let’s talk about this song. A romance?”

“It would have to be,” Jihoon agreed, but you noted that his words were a little forced. “What are you thinking?”

“Something light? Pop-y like your stuff used to be,” you suggested. “Kind of like my groups stuff is right now. First love type things.”

“First love is overused and Seventeen alone has outgrown the concept. We’re too old to write about first love again,” Jihoon denied immediately. “Besides, we aren’t first love. It doesn’t make sense for us to sing about first love.”

You felt a pressure in your chest as Jihoon shut down your idea but you screamed at yourself to stay civil. He wasn’t trying to be contrary, he was just trying to be convincing. You were both just trying to be convincing.

“Okay, no first love,” you agreed, unable to hold back the bite in your voice. “So what idea do you have genius?”

“Anything is better than first love. What are we in kindergarten?” He retorted.

You knew full well that he knew that a huge part of your groups concept was first love. Your whole group was to mirror that of the perfect fantasy. Four perfect, sweet idols that are marketed in such a way that you could almost genuinely believe that you had gone to school with them and had once upon a time almost fell in love with.

“Saying anything is better isn’t coming up with an actual idea that is better,” you said shortly. “Our song could be about how our love is so powerful it feels like first love all over again.”

“First love hardly ever actually comes true.”

You laughed.

“Who was it that said: ‘Let’s not believe that first love never comes true’?” You argued back.

“Oh I see what this is now,” Jihoon replied dryly. “You’re a fan huh? What were you in love with me and then you got angry because you realized I would never like you?”

“Just because I know the lyrics of one of your most popular songs doesn’t mean that I am a fan,” you snapped back, your voice rising.

“No need to get embarrassed,” Jihoon cooed, leaning towards you with a mischievous expression on his face. He knew that he was winning this argument, he could see in your eyes how hard you were trying to stay civil. “You must secretly be thrilled that we are in this situation. Finally you get to see what it would be like to date me.”

You stood up suddenly, the chair you had been in falling to the ground at the sudden action.

“God you are so fucking conceited,” you blurted. “The whole world doesn’t revolve around you Jihoon.”

Before Jihoon could respond- and you knew he wanted to, you grabbed your phone.

“Write whatever you want today it will be a waste of time. We are writing this song together so get your head out of your ass and actually work with me.” You turned away from him, storming out of the room before he could say so much as another word. You willed yourself to calm down as you walked back to your place but your whole body was on fire. Where did he get off accusing you of being in love with him? With him?

The statement itself was too ironic for you to even entertain. You were, after all, the only one who saw Jihoon for who he was. Conceited, spoiled, cocky.

You shook the negative feelings off of you but they clung to you like glue.

You decided it didn’t even matter to cool down and you just walked into your dorm, slamming the door closed behind you. Ai’s head popped up from the couch.

“Hey,” she said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Bad day?”

You turned to her, giving her a frustrated look.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

That didn’t push away her confusion.

“I thought you were hanging out with Jihoon today?”

Yeah, that was the problem.

“He’s busy,” you replied with a wave of your hand. “Don’t start dating a workaholic. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Ai sighed, falling back on the couch.

“Dating itself sounds like such a dream,” she whined. “You’re so lucky you managed to find someone like Jihoon.”

You didn’t like lying to your group members. You four were supposed to be each other’s best friends in this world. The three people you could trust the most were the ones in your group. You told one another everything. That alone should have caused suspicion in Ai, Mari, and Chae, and yet they loved you so much that they just accepted the news and your half-hearted explanation as to why you had never told them that you two were dating in the first place.

You felt like you were letting them down.

“You’ll find someone,” you said softly. “Who knows, maybe the love of your life is just around the corner.”

Ai sighed dreamily.

“Maybe.”

You slipped your shoes off as a yawn ripped through your body. Arguing with Jihoon always did take the energy right out of you.

“I’m going to sleep, don’t stay up too late Ai.”

“Don’t worry I won’t!” She called back, and with that you retreated into your room.

Asshole of the Year: If we have to write this song you might as well come over today.

Try not to be so sensitive this time

You groaned as you let your eyes trail up to the time. Eight in the morning... You hated being an idol.

After finally dragging yourself out of bed and getting dressed you made your way into the kitchen to find the others already up. Chae was standing at the stove cooking what smelled like pancakes. You let a content hum vibrate through your body and you pulled yourself a chair next to Nari. She glanced over at you, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Up last as always,” Nari commented. “You would think after all those punishments during our trainee days you would get up earlier.”

You shrugged and reached over to her plate, grabbing a grape from it.

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you said, plopping the grape in your mouth.

“Good morning Sunshine,” Chae said to you. You smiled at her brightly as she brought you a plate of pancakes.

“Thank you, Chae,” you said pleasantly. She hummed and picked up her own plate of food before joining them at the table.

“Chae was just saying that she thinks we should go to the gym more,” Nari said. You hummed through a mouthful of food.

“You think?”

Chae nodded surely, her fork bouncing in the air.

“Just to define our features a little more. By next year we should be finally adopting a bit more of a mature concept and it’ll be much healthier if we start now rather than later.”

Nari nodded her agreement, her cheeks stuffed with food, but Ai pouted.

“But our fans like Chae’s chubby cheeks,” she whined. You smiled and reached over to Chae, pinching her cheeks teasingly.

“We all love her chubby cheeks,” you said pleasantly. Chae just swatted your hands away. “Chae’s not saying we have to she’s just suggesting we do.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Nari agreed after trying her food.

“What do you think?” Chae asked. The gym in an hour?”

You sighed, your thoughts tracing back to what Jihoon had texted you this morning.

“I can’t this morning,” you said, trying your best not to look too disappointed. “Jihoon and I convinced the company to let us put out a song and we agreed to work on it today.”

Ai let a dramatic pout cover her lips.

“You’ve changed!” She protested. “Choosing him over us.”

Even as she spoke, you were getting up, your food already finished.

“I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise,” you said. There was a shared displeased look among your roommates but you did your best to brush it off with a smile.

“Fighting!” You said, and then quickly ushered yourself out the door.

Today on your way to Jihoon’s studio you made sure to wear a baggy shirt that you had been seen in a million times, and you pulled on Jihoon’s hat (which you still hadn’t returned to him). You made a point not to mask up, and kept your head up so that your chance of being caught on your way to Jihoon’s studio were higher. You knew that there were always a lot of people waiting to catch people’s pictures at the studio, and just as you had hoped, you found yourself half covering your face on your way in just to make it seem like you didn’t want to be caught.

When you got to Jihoon’s studio you decided that being hesitant was a waste of time. It was nearly 9:30 at this point… Too early.

You knocked on the door and after only a second you heard a soft: “Come in.” echo from inside.

You pushed open the door and set your bag on the ground. Jihoon glanced over at you from where he was seated. He pressed his lips together at the sight of you.

“Round two?” You asked him as you went to take a seat where you had the day before. Your chair was still on the floor.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Working with Jihoon was like trying to write on a chalkboard with black chalk. There was no point because absolutely nothing was going to come from it.

You two spent ages going back and forth about what the general song concept should be. When you couldn’t agree on just one thing you both decided to try and decide what the song should sound like, but even there you two were butting heads.

“I’m the producer, why won’t you say yes to my suggestions?”

“You’re not the only one who knows about producing Jihoon. I don’t like the sound of this, choose a different one.”

Lunch came and went and still nothing had been agreed upon. All you both knew for sure was that you two were going to write a song together.

Which meant you were practically at ground zero.

“This is pointless,” you groaned dropping your head on the table “You’re impossible to work with.”

Jihoon grunted his displeasure.

“Don’t slam your head on my desk.”

You peeked up at him, with a dumb smile on your face.

“Don’t want me to hurt myself?”

“Don’t want you to break my equipment,” he said back. “It costs more than you’ll ever make.”

You scoffed.

“Right I forgot. Lee Jihoon, Pledis’ own crown prince, yeah?” You said dryly. You sighed. “God, you’re so spoiled.”

You could see Jihoon clench his fists from under the table so you sat back up.

“Look. Concept. You don’t want first love? Fine. You don’t like honeymoon stage? Whatever.”

You racked your brain for something you two hadn’t thought of yet.

“What about a couple on the brink of a breakup.”

Jihoon opened his mouth, surely to shoot you down, but the words never came. He closed his mouth.

“A couple on the brink of a breakup,” he echoed. He seemed to ponder the idea, much more heavily than any of the other ideas you had offered up. “Is that convincing?”

You hummed.

“It gives off the air of a couple that has been together for a while,” you mumbled. “And it makes us seem a bit more real. We’re handling heavy topics. As long as we make it seem like we have some sort of resolution by the end... I’d say it’s relatable to long-term couples.”

Jihoon’s hand twitched over his keyboard.

“It’s not awful,” he said.

You felt your heart pick up its pace for just a second. As much as you hated him, Jihoon was a legend in the song-writing world. People praised him for how much he had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time, never releasing a song that didn’t do well.

It felt exciting to get his approval.

“It’s a bit more mature than I would expect from someone like you.”

And there it was.

“Okay, what story are we trying to convey here?” He asked, changing the topic before you could start an argument with him. “What are our lyrics?”

Lyrics came about as good as one could expect. Thirty minutes and one argument later and you were storming out of the studio just like you had the first time. This time as you barged out you about ran into someone.

Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to apologize but the words died on your lips when you saw who it was.

“Jeonghan?”

He didn’t look surprised to see you at all.

“Hungry?”

You and Jeonghan set up in a convenience shop not far from the studio and the company. A place you two came often as a result of the two of you never haven gotten caught there before.

You didn’t say a word to him until your instant ramen was ready and half hanging out of your mouth.

“We made some progress.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“Don’t eat with your mouth open,” he murmured. “Were you raised in a cave?”

You swallowed the rest of your noodles and stuck your tongue out at Jeonghan.

“It’s good you two are getting along,” Jeonghan hummed. You couldn’t help but notice his attention was focused on you- not his noodles.

“We’re not getting along. We made progress.” You took another large bite of your noodles and before fully swallowing them you added: “There’s a very big difference between those to distinctions.”

You swallowed your noodles.

“I just don’t get what’s up with him. He’s always like that with me. So stuck up and unapologetic.”

“That’s just how Jihoon comes off,” Jeonghan protested. “He’s like that with most of the people he doesn’t know.”

Jeonghan didn’t often defend Jihoon to you. Mostly because it was next to pointless. You had to admit your distaste for Jihoon was somewhat childish. You didn’t really listen to the good things people said about him. It just went in one ear and out the other.

“That’s bullshit Jeonghan,” you said. “To the other members he’s polite and conversational when he needs to be. But with me? He never even used to meet my eyes.”

Jeonghan looked away from you, a frustrated expression covering his face.

“Yeah but that wasn’t because he hated you.”

“Then what else could it be?” You challenged. “Because it sure felt like he hated me when he complimented everyone else in Starlight other then me.”

“He clearly got tongue tied,” Jeonghan argued.

“Because he had nothing good to say!” You said right back.

“That’s not what it is,” Jeonghan said. “You just don’t get it. You don’t know Jihoon like I do. You don’t know him at all.”

“What is there to know?” You asked. “All I need to know is that from the moment his eyes laid on me he hated me.”

Silence fell over Jeonghan. He still looked frustrated. He still clearly wanted to argue but he just looked away from you, down at his untouched noodles.

“Sure.”

At first you thought maybe he was finally frustrated by your distaste of his friend, but no… There was something else there. Something he was holding back.

“Jeonghan,” you started leaning towards the aforementioned boy. “Is there something you know that I don’t know?”

Jeonghan’s eyes flitted back to yours and he laughed.

“What would I know that is relevant to your relationship with Jihoon that I would hold back from you?” He asked you. It was convincing, for a second you actually almost dropped the topic. But there was something you caught in his eyes. Something that told you something wasn’t quite right.

“I don’t know. What are you not telling me?”

Jeonghan was not any easy person to beat in a battle of the wits. If Jeonghan wanted to keep something a secret there wasn’t anybody who could get him to come out with whatever he was hiding.

But something you also knew about Jeonghan was that if he had a secret that you wouldn’t be able to get out of him you wouldn’t know he had a secret anyways. You were his best friend. If anyone could get it out of him, it was you.

“Look you hate Jihoon, he hates you. Let’s move on,” Jeonghan said. You continued to stare at Jeonghan, watching as he feigned interest in his noodles. He picked up his chopsticks and toyed with the noodles.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I won’t tell anyone. Come on. I’m your best friend.”

“I’ve been friends with Jihoon for much longer than I’ve been friends with you.”

You would have pouted had it not been for how revealing that statement was.

“So it’s a secret about Jihoon specifically. Something that he wouldn’t want to get out?” You pressed.

“It’s not my place to say,” Jeonghan replied but you could hear the strain in his voice. He was starting to crack under the pressure.

“Please Jeonghan. Who knows, maybe it will change my opinion of him even just a little.”

That was probably the biggest lie you could have told in that moment, and you knew that Jeonghan knew it was a lie, but despite that it ended up being the thing that broke Jeonghan’s resolve.

“It’s just...” He sighed. “I really shouldn’t tell you this.”

You smiled at him innocently, waiting for him to continue.

“Jihoon treated you differently then the others. Yes. But did you ever think about the things he did in a way separate of him hating you?”

Your eyebrows strewn slightly in confusion.

“Separate...?”

“He couldn’t make eye contact with you, yeah? He didn’t talk to you- in fact went out of his way to not to talk to you. He didn’t like interacting with you, he never knew what to say to you when he did talk to you-”

“Get to the point Jeonghan,” you interrupted. “I don’t need a reminder of how shitty he treats me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Jeonghan continued, giving you a sharp look. “At least he didn’t used to.”

You scoffed.

“Then what could have possibly warranted the way he treated me?” You demanded. Jeonghan’s expression softened, and he shrugged.

“Jihoon used to have a crush on you.”

You stared at Jeonghan, looking for any trace on his face that he was joking. His expression stayed scarily serious.

“No, he didn’t,” you said pointedly. Jeonghan didn’t back down.

“Yes, he did.”

“No, he didn’t,” you argued. “He-”

You scrambled in your memory to find any behavior that Jihoon had exhibited early on- Something that proved that he had hated you from the beginning, but you were drawing blanks. Now that you thought about it, you had been the most confrontational to begin with. He hardly ever started things with you. He just fought back when you said something to him that was rude.

“I...” You trailed off. “He never said anything.” You looked up at Jeonghan. “You never said anything.”

“It wasn’t my place,” Jeonghan said with a shrug. “Besides you dug your own grave. I’ve never seen you lose your patience with someone as fast as you lose your patience with Jihoon.”

Finally, Jeonghan actually turned his attention to the noodles in front of him. You should have felt satisfied too, but instead you felt this heavy pit in your stomach that just wasn’t sitting right with you. You forced yourself to turn your attention back to your noodles, and tried to ignore what was bothering you.

Sleep was impossible and you knew exactly why. You couldn’t stop thinking about what Jeonghan had said.

Jihoon had liked you when you two first met?

You replayed all your interactions over and over again in your head and you hated that with both conclusions it made sense. If Jihoon was as introverted as everyone said it would make sense for him to be less extroverted towards you. If he was nervous he would naturally avoid you and- God, you hated to say it- Jihoon had always been a good idol. He kept his nose clean, stayed out of scandals. He was probably doing his best to avoid a dating one when he liked you.

You flipped over in your bed, smothering your face in your pillow.

God, wasn’t that why you hated him in the first place? Lee Jihoon. Mr. Perfect. Mr. Do no wrong. Everyone’s favorite golden child and you despised him for it. His fans fluffed his ego, his group mates boosted it, and this dumb company treated him like some untouchable man.

You groaned loudly.

What kind of reasons were those to hate someone? You hated him because people liked him? Because people believed in his abilities and their actions reflected that?

People pumped you up; Your fans talked about you like you were a literal angel from Heaven and nobody hated you for it.

Well, there was no one that outwardly hated you for it.

You turned back around staring blankly at the dark ceiling in front of you. You didn’t have time for some stupid existential crisis about stupid Lee Jihoon.

You hated him. You hated him. Nothing was going to change that.

And that’s why you told yourself. Again and again and again until finally your alarm went off and you had gotten absolutely no sleep at all.

For once you were up first of everyone in the Starlight dorm. You tied your hair back, putting on workout clothes and then wandered into the kitchen. You thought the least you could do if you were up this early was make breakfast.

It only took ten minutes before Chae made her way into the kitchen. Her appearance matched yours- hair back and workout clothes adorned. Her eyes widened when she saw you at the stove, taking in you and the sizzling eggs.

“You’re up early.”

You shrugged.

“What can I say? I didn’t sleep.”

She nodded.

“Makes sense.”

Chae came into the kitchen sliding past you to open the fridge. She peered at its contents, a hum leaving her mouth.

“We should go shopping,” she commented. Despite the fact she wasn’t look at you, you nodded.

“I noticed we’re running a bit low on supplies,” you agreed. She pulled out of the fridge and brandished a carton of cherries.

“Want to finish these with me?”

When Ai and Nari wandered into the room you were just finishing the eggs, and Chae was sitting on the kitchen counter, a empty cartoon of cherries and a napkin full of cherry pits the only thing between the two of you. Neither Ai and Nari looked bothered by that. “You’re already up?” Nari asked you.

“And you cooked breakfast!” Ai piped up. You shrugged off-handedly.

“Have to pick up the slack somehow.”

You were starting to wish you had never prodded Jeonghan to tell you Jihoon’s secret in the first place.

It was easy to hate someone that hated you too. That, in itself, gave you a justifiable reason to hate them. If for nothing else, for defense. But now- Knowing that to start he had never hated you at all you felt wrong. You felt mean and it was all you could think about.

From breakfast, to your workout with the others, to your dance practice, vocal lesson, and then all the way to Jihoon’s dumb studio to finish out the day you were replaying all of your interactions with him, over and over again until it made you dizzy to think about.

How had you been that mean to him all the time? Why had no one stopped you?

In your knowledge you had never had someone like you in a romantic way and the one time someone did you had decided you hated him?

You couldn’t help it. You felt bad.

You walked into Jihoon’s studio; this time failing to knock. You slowly cracked open the door and pulled it shut behind you. When Jihoon glanced back and saw you a grimace crossed his face.

“You shouldn’t just walk in here like you own the place,” he grumbled. You didn’t respond to him, you just walked over to him, which brought his attention up to your head where his hat was sitting. “And what have I said about touching my-”

Before he could finish you had plopped the hat securely on Jihoon’s head, doing your best not to look him in the eye. You wanted to apologize to him for all you did, but you still couldn’t shake this burning feeling in your chest when he talked to you like that.

Was it deserved?

… Apparently. But regardless it hurt your pride.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Jihoon asked. His eyes wouldn’t tear away from you. You bit your tongue. Be nice.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. “Shouldn’t we get to writing this song?”

Jihoon apparently disliked you being quiet more than he disliked you being mean. A smile crossed his lips and he leaned towards you.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he said in awe.

You looked at him.

“See what day?”

“The day you finally shut up.”

You may have been apologetic for how you had behaved before but you certainly didn’t feel bad now.

“Are we going to get something done with the song today or are you going to waste your time in another dumb argument with me?” You demanded. Jihoon raised an amused eyebrow at your outburst.

“There you are,” he hummed. “Thought you had started to see me as a human or something.”

You scoffed.

“Can we focus so I can get out of here faster?” You asked bluntly. You grabbed a piece of paper and tapped a pencil to it. “Lyrics.”

There was one thing that you two could agree with when it came to these lyrics. The song was going to echo that of Shawn Mendes and Camillo Cabello’s song I Know What You Did Last Summer. An overlapping duet showing both sides of the story and being able to match similar emotions between the two during the chorus.

“We both have to agree about how the two feel about each other,” you said softly.

“I’m not the one afraid to agree with you on something,” Jihoon retorted. You took a large breath in and then let it out.

“I think that despite feeling the pull to stray from one another they ultimately love one another.”

“Pull to stray from one another?” Jihoon asked with a wrinkle of his nose. You sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong with that?”

He shrugged it off.

“Just sounds like a toxic relationship.”

“I never said it was going to be a healthy one,” you retorted. “Besides it’s not toxic sometimes people think and do stupid things they don’t mean when they are desperate. I think the two are desperate for one another’s love and something is drawing them apart and causing them to want to do things they shouldn’t.”

Jihoon stared at you.

“You’ve clearly never been in love with someone before,” he commented. Your face blazed red.

“Lee Jihoon I swear-”

There was a knock at the door and as quick as you had been to raise your voice at Jihoon you pushed yourself into Jihoon’s lap, wrapping your legs around his torso.

“Come in!” You called, making sure to make your voice ultra-giggly. When it was Jeonghan who opened the door, you breathed out in relief.

“I fucking thought-”

You stopped yourself from talking and instead focused on climbing out of Jihoon’s lap, making a point to dramatically wipe yourself off as if to get his germs off. He rolled his eyes.

“You climbed into my lap, may I remind you.”

You shot him an unamused glare and turned to Jeonghan.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“I was bored,” he commented. “How’s the song going?”

You and Jihoon both glanced at each other, and that glance must have told Jeonghan everything he needed to know.

“You two are hopeless,” he said with a sigh.

Dates with Jihoon weren’t getting easier, in fact being around him at all wasn’t getting any easier. Every time that you tried to just go back to the way things were- the more you tried to find amusement in teasing him, or say that something he did was stuck-up like you used to it just died in your mouth.

You had been too hard on him in the past. He wasn’t that bad.

You hated to admit that. You wanted to go back to just blindly hating him, but you were starting to see him differently than you were used to.

Your chest heaved up and down as you slid down the wall of the practice room, placing your hand dramatically over your chest.

“Wow, you are giving up first?” Chae teased, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Usually you’re the one pushing the rest of us to do better.”

You gave her half a glare.

“I was up late with Jihoon last night. No wonder he’s always so tired. He was still in the studio when I left. Does he do anything but work?” You asked. Chae laughed.

“People always say that he’s a working machine. Haven’t you heard the jokes that he would never have a dating scandal because he’s always locked up in his studio?”

You had heard people saying he would never be caught in a dating scandal but you had never realized that was why. Your brain scrambled back to all the times people had muttered it and you had just completely ignored the second part of the statement, mumbling that clearly he was heartless for never giving his friends any of his time.

You had actually learned in the last few days that Jihoon made a lot of time for his friends. Whenever you came over he was kicking Mingyu out of the studio for it, and it wasn’t uncommon for one of the other boys (Soonyoung, mostly) to come in while you two were working to offer you two food. Jihoon had even once ended you two’s brainstorming session (incessant arguing) to go and have a dinner with the entire rest of the group.

You had always thought he was cold to other people- Another reason you had disliked him, but now you were starting to think that had been a rash conclusion to come to. Observations when your groups interacted (now that you had to actively pretend like you didn’t hate him, you were forced to recognize things he did that didn’t make you angry) had brought you to the startling realization that he wasn’t cold- he was just as Jeonghan had hinted at. He was shy. An introvert. He just didn’t really open up to people unless it was his boys.

This was easy, so much easier before. It was fucking Lee Jihoon. You didn’t like Lee Jihoon.

You and Jihoon walked, hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, both holding your silence as you headed to the restaurant you were crashing today. Normally the silence would have your blood boiling but this time you were filled with something you were getting uncomfortably used to... Guilt.

“You know, this is stupid,” you mumbled. Jihoon glanced at you.

“You’re the one always saying we have to be convincing. You think I want to hold your hand?”

You suppressed your urge to scream. Your anger towards him at the statement being consumed by your guilt.

“It’s not that. It’s stupid that we are always dead silent when we’re hanging out,” you said. “What’s the point in that? How long are we going to be fake dating?”

Jihoon was silent for a few moments.

“Exactly. I know all we do is argue but we might as well... Talk.”

Another few seconds passed before Jihoon replied.

“You want us to be friends?”

This time there was an edge missing in Jihoon’s voice. You felt like his tone had become softer than you were used to. His usually curtness gone. It felt, sincere. You forced out a laugh.

“No,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. ”God, no, I just think that we could be like... I don’t know enemies that can confide in one another.”

God, that sounded stupid.

“Okay.”

Jihoon shrugged.

“Better than silence I guess.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t start the conversation. You two walked a few steps as you forced yourself to start the conversation.

You couldn’t help the way you internally cursed Jihoon for being entitled, thinking that you needed to start the conversation, but even as you did you criticized yourself for the thought. Why did you blindly dislike him so much? Was it just because you were embarrassed to have been wrong all this time?

“Uh, how was your day?” You started. He looked at you.

“Creative,” he commented. That in itself made you want to take back the question but before you could he was talking: “It was fine.”

You waited for more and when he didn’t continue you felt the fingers on your free hand curl into a ball.

“Tell me what you did today,” you suggested.

“Uh, slept in until Seungkwan woke me up for practice,” his tone of his voice was annoyed but a glance at him told you he didn’t really mind it. “Practice was fine. There were cameras so Seokmin and Soonyoung were goofing off a lot.”

“Cameras at practice?” You asked.

“For behind the scenes stuff,” Jihoon elaborated. You nodded in recognition, falling silent again so Jihoon could go on. “Then Mingyu wanted to play some games, but I had to work on music…”

He trailed off and a smile crossed his lips.

“But sometimes Mingyu wins so we played games until I had to come here.”

It took a second to process what he had said.

“You didn’t work today?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing. He hummed.

“No.”

He didn’t elaborate on it, making it seem like it was something that happened often but knowing what you knew about him you didn’t think it was. Still, you didn’t want to press it or call him a liar. You had to stop jumping to conclusions with him. You didn’t know him.

“What did you do today?” Jihoon asked, seeming to want to shift the attention away from himself. You sighed.

“Chae wants us to start working out in the morning,” you said. “So I have to wake up early and go work out and it’s so exhausting.”

Jihoon laughed.

“Ah, can’t handle a few push ups?” He teased. Usually when he said things like that to you there was an edge to his voice, but this time it wasn’t there.

“Look, I’m no Wonwoo,” you replied. “I wasn’t built to workout.”

You let a smile cross your face, one that was actually a little real.

“Today I really just spent time with Starlight. I mean, no cameras on us but we had practice and things. Felt like I was a trainee all over again.”

“There’s something to be said about our trainee days,” Jihoon said. “I am glad to have debuted but we spent so much time pushing for debut that we didn’t really appreciate how fun it is to be a trainee.”

You looked over at him to see a contemplative expression on his face. You turned away from him, warmth crawling up your face.

“Yeah,” you agreed. You looked up, relieved when you saw your destination. “Great we can stop holding hands.”

You pulled your hand away from his abruptly, and picked up your walking pace.

“Let’s get this date over fast, I have to be up early again tomorrow.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes at your sudden behavior. You heard him murmur something under his breath but you weren’t sure what. You just focused on reminding yourself that just because you shouldn’t hate him didn’t mean you needed to like him as a person.

Indifference was okay.

“How’s this?” You held up the paper you had been scribbling on, a few lines scripting out how you thought the first verse (your verse) of the song should go. Jihoon fell silent as he read over the lyrics.

“You know...” He trailed off and you watched his eyes read it again. “This is actually pretty good. I was actually going for a similar idea in my verse. The concept of the relationship feeling so broke the temptation of cheating is present.”

“Oh, can I read what you have?”

Jihoon nodded and slid the paper towards you, his eyes still on the lyrics.

“The halls of this house echo when you aren’t around. When I’m at the club I get the attention I crave,” he read a loud. “I really like this part but maybe omit the club for something else? The club takes me out of it for some reason.”

“I like the club,” you replied. “It’s like I’m going radically out of my way to get attention. Different than just going to dinner with friends and feeling tempted there. Only desperate people go to clubs.”

Jihoon nodded.

“Maybe.”

“It’s interesting to compare your anger to a flame,” you commented as you read through his verse. “A flame is so often akin to desire, do you think that would be confusing?”

Jihoon blinked.

“Maybe.” He was silent for a few beats, seeming to try to think about what else to put there. “I like the idea though, that thinking about you while I’m at work not only unlocks my desire for you but also others. It shows I still have affection for you even when I am pulling away.”

You didn’t respond just ran your eyes over the words.

“Let me-” Jihoon leaned closed to you, his shoulder brushing yours. Normally you would yell at him for getting so uncomfortably close to you but after all the time you two had spent holding hands and sitting close to each other on “dates” you had gotten used to being close to him. “Here at the end I’ll tag on I look in those eyes and I forget what I promised to you. It repeats how you finish your verse and we can segue both verses into a pre-chorus which we can alternatively sing.”

As he spoke he grabbed your paper.

“Something that echoes with itself. Like...” He thought about it for a few moments. “I wish it wasn’t this way and I echo How did we get here?”

For some reason, your mind immediately filled what you thought should be next.

“Oh! Do you miss my touch? And you echo It’s been too long to say.”

Jihoon didn’t argue with you like you had briefly thought he would. Instead, he immediately began to scribble what you had said down.

“That’s good,” he praised, and again your heart sped up a little at the words of affirmation.

“I want to feel bad but there’s nothing there,” he continued.

“Wish you were here,” you added. Jihoon stopped writing after he wrote what you had said. His eyebrows strewn in concentration as he read over the verses you two had written along with the chorus. As he read over it, his pencil bounced between his fingers.

You were so on edge about what he was going to say, you were afraid to speak.

“This is good,” he finally said. “Maybe we’ll think it’s worse tomorrow, I think we should take a break and come back to it.”

Even though Jihoon was often trying to cut your brain storming sessions short, you felt a little disappointed. You thought that you two were doing good bouncing off of each other, but you didn’t complain. Anytime away from Jihoon was good in itself.

You nodded and began to collect your things.

… Right?

“So, I guess we have to work together on this again tomorrow?” You said, forcing a sigh out of your lips. Jihoon didn’t look at you- God, you hated when he didn’t look at you- And instead set aside the lyrics you two had been working on to turn his attention back to his computer.

“Whenever you want.”

And before you could say more, he was slipping his headphones on over his ears, and had turned his attention completely to his work. You watched him for a moment, noticing the way his entire demeanor changed now that he was able to work alone again. His shoulders slacked, his attention turned... You felt like you could start screaming and he wouldn’t even register the action he was already so focused on his work.

You had always admire hard working people. You had spent so long chasing something to be passionate about that people who knew what they were meant to do in their lives made you something akin to envious.

You forced yourself to turn your attention away from Jihoon again, murmuring a goodbye to a boy who wasn’t listening as you slid out the door.

You and Ai giggled as you snuck down the halls of the dorm to the community kitchen. She clicked the door open and you shushed her as you two pushed into the room. You rushed over to the pantries and slid open the door, starting to grab a few of the snacks from the pantry and shove them into Ai’s arms.

“Soda, please grab soda,” Ai hissed. Your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ and you ducked down, trying to find four cans of soda. As you scrambled to grab all the items required for a well-deserved movie night with your absolutely favorite group of people in the world you heard voices.

You and Ai turned to each other, eyes wide.

“Shit,” you mumbled. You grabbed a grocery bag and thrust it towards Ai. She immediately knew what you wanted and dumped all of the things in her arms into the bag. Just before the door opened you and Ai turned to face it, the bag stored safely behind you in your hands. The door opened and you were surprised to find a familiar mop of hair dip into the room.

“Oh, Jihoon,” you said suddenly unable to hide your astonishment. Jihoon’s eyes widened a little at the sight of you.

“Hey-” His eyes flitted towards Ai. “What are you two doing here?”

He gestured for you to come greet him but you just smiled at him, pretending to not notice as to keep the bag in your hands a secret.

“We were just walking around, thinking about snacking,” you said innocently. Ai nodded next to you over exaggeratedly. Behind Jihoon another face ducked in- Soonyoung, and you and Ai forced even bigger smiles on your faces.

“Oh, hi Soonyoung,” you greeted ducking your head. He smiled back at you.

“You two are up late,” he commented. “Jihoon said that you have workouts early usually, not planning to get much sleep?”

You couldn’t help but be stuck on that.

Jihoon said that you…

That was such an odd statement for you to hear coming out of anyone’s mouth really. The thought that Jihoon talked about you in a positive manner, the thought that he would say something about you in such a casual manner as such as talking about how you workout in the mornings.

Your nose scrunched.

“Jihoon said...” You trailed off, despite the fact your voice was hardly loud enough to be heard in the first place. After a few more seconds of you trying to figure out what it meant that Jihoon had said that to Soonyoung Ai was elbowing you in the side.

You blinked.

“Oh, uh, tomorrow’s our break day,” you said. “So we don’t have to get up as early.”

Soonyoung seemed a little taken aback by your statement (that being said, so did Jihoon but you were trying not to look at him), but nodded regardless.

“That’s nice.”

Silence fell between the two groups and your mind raced as you tried to figure out how to get you and Ai out of this kitchen.

“What are you two doing?” You asked. “Jihoon’s not spending the night at the studio?”

“Don’t worry I dragged him out today,” Soonyoung said with a wink. “Jealous of his relationship with his music?”

You let a very serious expression cross your face.

“Extremely,” you said. You forced yourself to look at Jihoon, a pout crossing your face. “I see you’ll leave the studio to go on a date with Soonyoung, but not with me.”

Jihoon’s briefly let an air of surprise cross through his eyes.

“I’ll make time for you if you want,” he said softly. “I didn’t know you wanted to go on more dates.”

God, you two were doing a great job at surprising one another tonight. You took a sharp breath, your eyes darting back to the ground.

“We should probably leave you two,” you said, giving Soonyoung an apologetic smile. “Don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” Soonyoung assured. “We’re just getting Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles.”

He hesitated and for a second time stopped. You could feel the air in the room go stiff as everyone in the room waited for you to fill in the details of what Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles were. Your mind raced, sure that you had heard it before.

“I keep telling you that black bean noodles are not a dessert food,” you cooed teasingly. A small smile crossed Jihoon’s lips.

“You won’t let me have anything will you?” He asked.

It was funny, how you two had fallen into this odd relationship. One where you two were able to act so much like you actually did have a relationship with each other. To you (you couldn’t say if this was the same for Jihoon at all) your interactions still felt clunky at best. It was like the things that you tried to make cute with one another were so forced that it was obvious that you were faking.

But despite that feeling an excited sound left Soonyoung’s mouth. He threw his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder and teasingly rubbed Jihoon’s head.

“You want your significant other to feed you instead of me?”

“They’re busy,” Jihoon negated. His eyes turned back to yours. “I’ll see you soon at the studio.”

You nodded.

Finally, Ai began to make her way up to the door of the kitchen and you followed. She squeezed past the two boys and as you passed Jihoon you leaned forward, pressing a frantic kiss to Jihoon’s cheek.

“Okay, love you,” you said briefly. He mumbled it back to you and you two pushed back into the hallway. As soon as you two were far enough down the hall Ai began to laugh.

“Thank god it was just your boyfriend,” she laughed. You forced a laugh to come out of your mouth too, trying to focus on what she said instead of the fact that you had just kissed Jihoon’s cheek. You would never get used to kissing Jihoon. “You distracted him very well.”

“Well, he is my boyfriend,” you said cheekily. “If I can’t distract him, who can?”

“What have you got for the chorus?” Jihoon asked. You groaned, shoving your face into the desk.

“I just got here, I don’t know!” You complained. You lifted your head up and shot Jihoon a dramatic pout. “What do you have for the chorus?”

Jihoon raised an unamused eyebrow.

“You were the one who made a big deal about actually collaborating on this song,” he commented. “What did you say again? Your fans-”

“God, you’re so annoying,” you murmured back. “You think you’re right about everything?”

Normally, Jihoon would get frustrated when you made blanket statements like that, but you had noticed that recently the statements just made him roll his eyes.

“You’re quick to resort to insults,” he commented. You bit back the urge to prove his point. It was hard not to insult him when talking to him recently had made your heart act so erratically. You had gotten to dislike being around him so much that it made your heart race when he spoke to you. Insulting him was the best way for you to deal with the way he made your heart feel. Made you feel less helpless.

You leaned forward and took the paper from the last time you two had been together and began to look at the lyrics. You began to softly murmur the lyrics under your breath, trying to figure out what to add next.

“Wish you were here, happy you aren’t,” you said. “What about something about the amount of space between us? The divide grows and this becomes comfortable.”

Your nose wrinkled at the lyrics but Jihoon was already writing it down, so you assumed that meant he approved. In the pit of your stomach you, once again, were feeling a bit annoyed. If he liked it after all, he should say something about it.

“All of this space, were we ever really meant to be?” You were mostly trying it out, but again, Jihoon was writing it before you were even sure that you liked it. Was that a good thing?

“It was so easy to forget you,” Jihoon said. “I miss you. Do I even really miss you?”

You hummed.

“I like that. I like how a lot of the lyrics are contradictory,” you murmured. “I think unreliable narrators are interesting. Makes you think a lot.”

Jihoon glanced up to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“Unreliable narrators?”

“Like Nick Carraway,” you replied. “The Great Gatsby?”

“You’ve read the Great Gatsby,” Jihoon said, surprise sprinkled in his voice. He turned his body towards you, letting his pencil dip down to the paper. Your heart jumped again. Probably because he clearly didn’t think you were educated enough to have read The Great Gatsby.

“Of course, I have,” you said indignantly. “You think I don’t read?”

“I’m surprised because it sounds like you like it,” Jihoon wrote off. You nodded, glancing away from him.

“I did like it. Nick being an unreliable narrator is just really entertaining to me. You don’t know if what he says in the book is completely true or not,” you said.

“That’s what I don’t like about it,” Jihoon agreed. “His perspective is so biased that it doesn’t give us sufficient details of the story.

“Exactly, in real life you never get every detail of every story. That’s what draws me in so much. What would I think about the characters if the story was told by Daisy or Jay?”

You stretched out your arms, your muscles aching from all the pushups that Chae had made you do today.

“That’s what I like so far about this song,” you continued. “We’re both unreliable. We don’t really know what we want, but we are the ones who know our relationship best. If we don’t even have reliable feelings how are we supposed to have a reliable relationship? I’m curious to see if our fans will really root for us.”

When you looked back at Jihoon he was still staring at you intently. There was no trace of annoyance or disagreement in his eyes. Simply a curious look. You cleared your throat.

“So, the bridge,” you said. Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, but he didn’t say anything.

“Right, the bridge.”

You sat in silence as you watched Seventeen run their most recent song again. The song concept was darker than some of them. The dance moves rapid, but deliberate (something that fans had come to expect from them). The minute the cameras were on them the boys looked like they were doing the dance effortlessly. If it weren’t for those moments when the cameras weren’t on you would think that they were inhuman.

“How do they do it?” Nari asked in awe. You glanced at her.

“They’ve got so many years on us,” you replied softly. “It makes sense that they would be like this.”

“Perfect,” Ai said dreamily.

“Driven,” Chae corrected. “Like we should be.”

As the four of you spoke the boys broke apart for a break. You watched as Jihoon and Hansol stepped away from the group, looking exhausted. You noticed the other boys getting water but Jihoon was too busy talking to Hansol about something to do it.

Before you could really think through your actions, you were getting up from the floor. Your fingers grabbed at the water bottle that you had barely touched and you rushed over to Jihoon.

“I think that if we switch on the third count instead of the fourth count it...” Jihoon trailed off as you came into view, a confused expression crossing his face. You didn’t want to offer him any explanation. You didn’t even know why you were over there.

You pushed the water bottle into his hands.

“You’re doing amazing,” you forced yourself to say. Jihoon’s lips quirked up into half a smile.

“I must be lucky to have you dotting over me,” he said. Again, he was using that tone that made you want to curl up in a ball and scream, but as you forced yourself to ignore the color rapidly rising to your face you also forced yourself to notice that there was no malintent in his eyes.

In fact, you dared say he actually seemed to be a bit happy.

He unscrewed the water bottle.

“Thank you.”

You nodded and turned away from him, catching Jeonghan’s gaze in the meantime. Your face blazed even darker in color but you knew avoiding him would only make this more embarrassing.

“Want to catch a snack?” He asked you as you approached. You nodded.

Once you two were in the hallway, Jeonghan’s trademark teasing smile was spread all over his face.

“Playing the dotting partner, hm?” Jeonghan observed lightly.

“You said be convincing,” you said, noting that your voice sounded a little desperate. Jeonghan shrugged.

“I could be off base here,” Jeonghan said. “Though I rarely am… It seems to me you don’t really hate him anymore.”

You were silent for a minute and at first your mind just raced, trying to come up with convincing ways to negate what he had said. When nothing convincing came to mind you had to settle for what you desperately didn’t want to admit.

He was right.

“Why did you let me hate him for so long?” You asked with a sigh. “He’s nothing like I always claimed he was.”

Jeonghan shrugged.

“You’re stubborn,” he said pointedly. “You wouldn’t have listened to reason.”

“It was stupid,” you mumbled. “I’m so stupid. Why can’t he just be a terrible person like I always thought he was?”

“Maybe you should voice that to him,” Jeonghan suggested. “He’s so nice he would probably pretend just for you.”

A dumb pout spread over your face fast.

“What am I supposed to do now Jeonghan? I’m supposed to hate him.”

“You’re being dramatic-“ Jeonghan gave you a look of frustration. “Does the world end if you don’t hate Lee Jihoon?”

You toyed anxiously with your fingers, your eyebrows strewn in concentration as you tried to sort through your thoughts.

You were hopeful that your immense concentration wasn’t that concerning. After all, you had been informed recently that you needed to beginning preparing for your groups comeback along with preparing the solo song for your group.

And yet, that wasn’t the reason your mind was racing and unfortunately, that was evident.

“Busy thinking about Jihoon?” Chae tore you out of your thoughts, your eyebrows raising in surprise.

“What?”

“You haven’t seen him in a few days,” Chae said before you could completely misconstrue the question. “Well, not in private at least. Is he not making time for you?”

Truth be told, you were avoiding Jihoon as best you could. While he had approached you a few times about meeting up and finally figuring out what your song was going to sound like, you had promptly named any excuse you could to get out if it.

He was clearly confused by your sudden behavior… Probably because it clearly wasn’t due to distaste for him. It had been a while since you had actually treated Jihoon like you hated him. Insults towards him died on your tongue or didn’t come to your mind at all. And in times where you would normally be short with him- when he didn’t pay enough attention to you, or when you two weren’t agreeing on something- you had been patient. You had grown accustomed to trying to live more on his pace.

You knew that he knew your attitude towards him had changed and that’s what made it all worse.

The world didn’t end when you stopped hating Lee Jihoon. The world ended when you had to admit to Lee Jihoon that your behavior over the last few years that you had known him had been childish and unwarranted. You hated to be wrong.

Jesus, that was childish too.

“Jihoon’s been fine,” you said reluctantly. “Great even, he’s always so nice and understanding and perfect.”

You were doing a bad job at hiding your frustration.

“I’ve just been stupid about something and I’m going to have to own up to it at some point and I don’t want to.”

You couldn’t help the way that you sunk further into the couch, your lips turned down in a pout. Chae laughed, elbowing you in the side.

“You? Own up to someone?” Chae said, not even bothering to hide her surprise. “You must really love him or something. You’ve never been that emotionally mature.”

You shot her a glare making her laugh.

“I’m kidding,” she admonished. “Geez, why are you so worried about it? If Jihoon is so nice and perfect than he’ll be understanding.”

She shrugged.

“All relationships have their ups and downs, you’re only human. I’m sure Jihoon doesn’t care.”

And thus launched your next mission.

“What kinds of things does Jihoon like?” You asked. Jeonghan looked up at you from where his head was in your lap. His eyes narrowed towards you.

“That’s a weird thing to ask.”

You let a pout cross your lips.

“You think I like this?” You demanded. You looked away, your face burning red. “I hate apologizing. I’m never the one in the wrong. This fucking sucks.”

Jeonghan snickered.

“Starlight’s golden child,” he teased. “What’s apologizing got to do with knowing what things he likes? Why don’t you just look it up on member profiles?”

You groaned burying your fingers in your hair.

“That’s what fans know. You’re his friend, you can tell me the intimate details!”

“It’s not easy to win over Lee Jihoon,” Jeonghan replied. He sat up from your lap and pulled his legs under himself as he turned to face you on the couch.

“You’ve got to help me,” you pleaded, turning to face him as well. You took his hands. “Please please please please you’re the only one that can help me! You’re the only one who knows.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“I can’t promise it will help. I never hear Jihoon talking bad about you but it can’t be exactly comforting that his first real crush since idol-hood hated him.”

You felt that guilt ping through your chest again.

“Jeonghan,” you whined. “Help me.”

You pulled your legs under your body.

“I’m pathetic. I’m helpless. I hate this. Help me.”

Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head.

“You know I love it when you beg.”

You were so hopeless you didn’t even care.

“You can win over Jihoon the same way that you would win over anyone. Show him you care. His top receiving love languages are gift giving and words of affirmation. You’ve spent all this time tearing him down, yeah? Start building him up. When you gave Jihoon that water bottle, that was perfect. You gave him a compliment and you gave him something. Showed you care. Keep that up and he’ll be wrapped around your pretty little finger.”

You weren’t supposed to meet up with Jihoon today, but you had your blood pumping with excitement towards getting him to like you that you couldn’t help but show up at his studio today.

You were nervous- standing there in front of his studio door with an americano in your hand but what better did you have to do anyway? The girls were all doing things today and Jeonghan was refusing to hang out with you until you figured shit out with Jihoon because he was tired of him being the only thing you talked about.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

Here goes nothing.

You pushed open the door to Jihoon’s studio, popping your head in to see if anyone was there. Luckily, the usually present Mingyu was missing and the only one that was in the room was Jihoon. Normally, he didn’t notice when you showed up in his room, but Jihoon’s headphones were noticeably absent.

“Mingyu I told you-”

His head turned and his eyes flickered to you, his words dying on his tongue.

“Oh. Hey, what are you doing here?” He said. He set down his pencil and turned his chair to face you more fully. You smiled nervously.

“I brought a peace offering.”

You held up the cup of coffee you had brought.

“I know that we hate each other but...” You trailed off. But what? Why did you start this that way? Why did you bring up the fact that you two hate each other? “Well, everyone likes coffee.”

You stood at the door unsurely, not really sure if he would even want you in his studio or not. After all this time, did you really deserve to spend time with him? You had been awful.

“Everyone does like coffee,” Jihoon agreed. “I need a break anyways. The music isn’t really writing itself.”

You closed the door behind you and wandered over to Jihoon, setting the coffee on the desk.

“You mean music prodigy Jihoon has trouble writing music?” You physically flinched. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Jihoon looked away from you, picking up the coffee. You noticed that he did have a small smile on his lips.

“Why don’t you let me hear it?” You asked, taking a seat next to him. “What’s wrong with it?”

Jihoon took a sip of the drink and then set it down.

“It just sounds wrong,” he replied. He turned his attention back to the computer. He clicked a few things and then handed you his headphones. You stared at them, unsure of what he wanted you to do with them. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow. “Put them on?”

“Oh-”

You took them from his hands and slid them over your ears. As soon as they were secure music started to play in your ears.

There was something to be said about Jihoon. You had always avoided listening to his music- simply on the principle that you hated him and thus should hate everything he stood for. But when you had listened to his music it had just made you angrier. How could someone so awful be so talented?

And now, without the buffer of actively forcing yourself to hate his music, things were different.

“You think this is bad?” You asked, sliding the headphones off your ears. Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“You haven’t finished.”

“I don’t really need to- Jihoon this is amazing.”

You lifted the headphones back to your ears.

“Play it again.”

He obliged, and the second time around it sounded even better. The music was soft, the notes working their way in your ears so delicately it was like you were being embraced in a hug. How he had managed to capture such an intimate feeling simply with sound was beyond you.

“What’s the song supposed to be about?” You asked. He shrugged.

“Falling in love?” He replied. “But not that complicated, you’re not really sure how you feel type of thing. Falling in love when you both know right from the start that you like each other. Falling in love when there’s not question where you’re going.”

You put the headphones back on again, your eyes flitting to the ground. Jihoon didn’t have to be asked to play the song again, and this time you could feel it like a buzzing running through your body.

“You’re amazing- Did you know that? This is amazing,” you said and you meant it. You weren’t just saying it because you thought you needed to win him over. “This is insane. How could you write something so amazing- So perfect- And think it wasn’t good enough?”

Jihoon’s face reddened a little and he looked away from you.

“It could use some work,” he said. “Aren’t you the one always saying that I’m not perfect?”

“Maybe I changed my tune,” you replied.

This was it. This was the perfect opportunity. You could do it right now. Just apologize. Just apologize.

“I should get going,” you replied. “The coffee delivery was the goal.”

You stood up, handing Jihoon back the headphones.

“Good luck.”

The next time you decided to visit Jihoon, Mingyu was in his studio. This time instead of coffee you had decided to bring along some tteboki thinking it would be a good snack.

“You didn’t bring me any?” Mingyu asked with a pout. You rolled your eyes lightly.

“You’re not my boyfriend,” you said pointedly. “Jihoon is.”

Mingyu still whined as you took the food over to Jihoon, setting it on his desk. Normally Jihoon would yell at you as you shifted his papers around.

“What’s this for?” Jihoon asked. You shrugged.

“Jeonghan says you’re always so busy working all day that you forget to eat.”

Again Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up at your words.

“So, I thought I could make this a reminder. You should eat.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows were strewn in thought as he poked through the bag to see what you had brought.

“Black bean tteboki?” He asked.

“You love black bean noodles.” You glanced back at Mingyu. “I don’t know why I’m justifying what I bought you. I know you’ll like it.”

There was a really awkward silence that filled the room. So you cleared your throat.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” you said. You walked back to the door sending a wave towards Mingyu. “I’ll bring you something too next time.”

“Don’t bother.”

Your eyes ripped back to Jihoon who was already bringing out his chopsticks to eat what you had brought him.

“Things like that are wasted on Mingyu.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

You nodded and left the room, smiling at the protests that were escaping Mingyu’s mouth at the prospect of you not buying food for him and definitely not smiling because it felt nicer to have Jihoon smile at you then it did to make him upset with you.

“Your boyfriend is staying up late in the studio again,” Soonyoung complained. You looked up at him from where you were stretching.

“Come again?”

“Every night this week, Lee Jihoon has slept in the studio. Mingyu is getting insufferable. He spends every night with me.”

You snickered at the prospect of Kim Mingyu staying the night with Soonyoung, but Soonyoung’s expression stayed serious.

“You’ve got to get him out of there.”

“Me?” You blurted. “What will I be able to do?”

Soonyoung gestured towards you.

“You two are dating!” He replied. “If anyone can get him to get out of the studio you can.”

You knew that wasn’t true. You and Jihoon were fake dating for crying out loud.

But Soonyoung didn’t know that, and you had to make this be as convincing as possible. You had been so grateful when you two got to cut down the amount of fake dates that you two had to go on. The media was long convinced your relationship was real after all- what self-respecting idols faked a relationship in this industry. The worst part about this was that you had to keep this charade up to everyone else too.

You couldn’t just tell Soonyoung that Jihoon would never listen to you. So instead, here you stood, right outside of his stupid studio door for the millionth time this week.

You had brought him food, and coffee, a trinket for his desk. You had been here everyday and it wasn’t even to write the song with him.

And here you were again. Fuck.

You peeked your head into Jihoon’s studio, again not even bothering to knock on the door. Jihoon was sitting at his desk, headphones on his ears, spinning a pencil around his fingers. You closed the door quietly behind you and walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder.

Jihoon jumped, taking a sharp breath at the sudden touch. He looked back at you and his eyes shut.

“It’s just you,” he breathed. He lowered his headphones. “What are you doing here this late?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You asked. You pushed aside some of his things and hopped up on his desk. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it if he didn’t like it. “What are you doing working so late?”

“I’ve only got a little bit more to do,” he replied. He gestured towards his computer making you chew on your bottom lip unsurely. Jihoon was going to kill you if you did what you needed to do. He was going to kill you.

“How does this program work? Does it save as you go?” You asked. Jihoon shook his head.

“No, but I just saved it a few seconds-”

And before Jihoon could finish seeking you ran your fingers around the edge of the desktop and clicked the power button. Jihoon’s computer screen flickered to black, and there was a few seconds that felt like years in which neither of you said anything.

“Y/n.”

Was it hot in here? It felt hot in here.

“You have to go to bed!” You protested immediately. You started to back away from Jihoon. “You said that everything was saved! It’s okay I didn’t ruin anything and now you can get up and go to bed-”

“You can’t just turn off my computer!” Jihoon exclaimed. “What made you think you could just turn off my computer?”

“I had to resort to drastic measures,” you hissed back. “You’re unreasonable when you’re working.”

“I’m unreasonable?” Jihoon asked with an indignant scoff. “How am I unreasonable? You are the one who turned my computer off.”

You had been certain that you had seen Jihoon mad before. You had been certain that all of those times that you two had been fighting before he had been angry but seeing him right now? You realized whatever emotion he had then was completely different then what you were seeing in him now. His face was red, his eyes were wide, you could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice to a reasonable level.

At least he was trying not to kill you.

“You have to go to bed,” you said, your lips falling into a pout. “Please everyone thinks I can get you to bed and I can’t exactly tell everyone that I have no real say over what you do because we aren’t really dating! You’ve left me no choice.”

Jihoon stood up and pointed at his black computer screen.

“You had a choice.”

You stared at Jihoon, not really sure what you needed to do next. You didn’t have a mask that you could put on. You didn’t have a lie you could tell or an insult you could throw at him to make him change trajectory. You just stood there, clasping your hands behind your back giving him the most pathetic pout you could muster.

“I know that I haven’t done much for you,” you said softly. “But let me do this? Just this one thing, right now. Come with me. Go to sleep.”

Your voice dropped a little quieter.

“Don’t be mad at me?”

Jihoon held his air of anger for a few seconds, still staring at you like he wanted to hit something and then, his shoulders dropped. He raised his hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m not mad,” he said, turning his eyes away from you. “How could I be mad? If the boys wanted you to get me to sleep you had no choice.”

He reached over to a notebook that laid opened on his desk and flipped it closed.

“You win. I’ll sleep.”

He picked up his phone and slipped it into his back pocket. When he turned back around his eyes met yours again.

“Turn off my computer again?” He asked. “I will not be this understanding.”

You nodded.

“Learned my lesson,” you said, but you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your lips. “Got what I wanted.”

Jihoon sighed.

“If we weren’t in a fake relationship, you wouldn’t be getting treated this well.”

You two walked over to the door, leaving his studio.

“Well, no one’s around,” you said cheekily. “And you’re not telling me no.”

You said it as a jest, but it was as if as it left your mouth, you were realizing that it was true. When had you two started being reasonable even behind locked doors?

“I suppose not,” he agreed softly. He glanced at you.

“You know, you’re not half bad when you’re not yelling at me,” he said softly. “I actually enjoy your company when you aren’t driving me up the wall.”

This was it. Your chance to finally apologize to him. To mend bridges.

Swallow your pride, just apologize.

“I think the exhaustion is getting to you,” you said. “You’re saying things you don’t mean.”

You laughed.

“When are we going to finish this song?”

If Jihoon was thrown off by your change of topic, he didn’t comment on it.

“This Friday?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

“What about this?”

You turned your chair around to face Jihoon, reaching out blindly for his headphones. Before they hit your hands he was slipping them on your head over your ears. You (luckily) barely showed your surprise.

A melody began to play in the headphones. One that you had been listening to different versions of it for the last five hours. You sighed.

“I mean-” Your head fell to the side. “It’s better? What if we tried to add something to the back? Drums?”

Jihoon nodded.

“Drums.”

His fingers drummed thoughtlessly on the desk.

“Drums,” he repeated. He concentrated for only a few moments before he was playing the song again in your ears, this time with the added backtrack. It sounded better. A smile crossed your lips.

“Hey, we’re making progress. I think we’re almost finished!”

Eight hours and three separate orders of chinese takeout later and you finally were, you were finally done.

“Well?” Jihoon asked, his eyes flickering to you.

“It’s good,” you replied. You laughed. “It’s really good. Do you think they’re going to like it?”

“I can’t say for sure,” Jihoon replied, looking at you with amusement dancing in his eyes. “You sure do have a lot of energy for 13 straight hours of this.”

You shrugged.

“You can do it, I can do it,” you replied. “You know I admire that you can do these things. You’re the whole package Jihoon.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the amount of chinese takeout you had consumed. Whatever it was, you felt like your whole body was buzzing. You were so excited to have finally finished this song.

“I can’t believe I actually like this! When Sangsoo told us we had to do this I thought I would hate it,” you admitted. “But this might be my favorite song to perform to date.”

Jihoon wasn’t staring at you so you took it as the opportunity to talk more.

“Can you imagine us? On stage, side by side. We’re going to double the time in this studio in the dance studio trying to figure out this choreography.”

Jihoon shifted his weight, resting his chin in his hand.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied excitedly. “And all thanks to your musical genius. You Jihoon are the best producer that our generation of singer-songwriters has ever seen. You-”

You froze in the middle of your sentence.

“You’re making fun of me?”

Jihoon laughed.

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said. “I’m just relishing in the moment. It’s not everyday that I hear you building me up. I’m too used to you screaming insults in my face.”

And there it was. How were you not getting accustomed to this? This pang of guilt that went through your gut when someone reminded you of how you had been treating Jihoon before you had realized that you were such a fucking idiot.

How could you make this go away?

“Yeah.”

You knew how to make this feeling go away. You knew what you had to do. You just so desperately didn’t want to do it. It didn’t have to be this hard, did it? All you had to do was tell him what you had been thinking for weeks now. You were good at telling people how you felt, weren’t you? You told Jeonghan how you felt all the time.

“I was really mean to you,” you said before you could think about it. “Like really mean.”

Jihoon’s cocked his head.

“I didn’t make it easy not to be mean to,” he said.

“No- No, don’t say that,” you protested. You pointed a finger at him. “I was horrible to you. Are you joking? I was mean to you for no reason.”

Jihoon didn’t seem stressed by the topic. Dare you say he looked amused. Maybe he knew that your guilt was killing you and he thought you deserved it.

“I mean, you seemed to have plenty of reasons at the time.”

You did deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” you said and as soon as the words left your lips it was like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Finally.

“You’re sorry?” Jihoon asked, his eyebrows furrowing a little.

“For being so mean to you, for hating you for no reason, for getting us into this mess.” You shook your head. “This list goes on and I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Still Jihoon looked a bit confused.

“Why are you... Apologizing?”

“You’re a good person,” you replied. “My reasons were dumb, and now I like you a lot. I don’t want to be enemies.”

God, were you really about to say what you thought you were? “I want to be friends.”

Holy shit, you were.

The space between you saying that and Jihoon answering was an amount of time that felt like an eternity. You two just walked in silence together while you anxiously waited for his response, your fingers fidgeting with themselves in front of you.

“I thought we already were friends,” Jihoon said with a shrug. “It’s been a while since our last screaming match. Seemed reasonable to me that you regretted what you said even without you saying it.”

And just like that the air returned to your lungs. No pressure, no tight chest. Just complete and utter relief.

“Yeah?” You asked, risking a glance at Jihoon.

“Well, you don’t hate me anymore. I don’t hate you. Might as well be friends.”

You turned your head to hide your smile.

“Might as well be friends.”

Part Two

#Happy Lee Jihoon month in thirty minutes!#lee jihoon #lee jihoon seventeen #lee jihoon svt #lee jihoon fanfiction #lee jihoon fanfic #woozi fanfiction #woozi fanfic #woozi svt #woozi #woozi seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfiction #svt fanfic

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sluttywoozi · 4 months

Text

Like A Melody | ljh x f!reader

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~3.9k | Pairing: ljh x f!reader | genre: smut

Jihoon has fucked you in his studio before, but never like this.

Warnings: dom!jihoon, studio sex, biting, hair pulling, grinding, cumming in pants, multiple orgasms, oral f. rec., fingering, recorded sex (just voices), male masturbation, praise kink, piv sex, creampie

Reader Notes: chubby, has breasts and a vagina, subby

Jihoon needs to take a break.

He desperately needs to take a break, and he knows this, so why can’t he do it?

He’s been working on music for hours; his fingers are starting to cramp from plucking guitar strings and pressing down piano keys, his throat is sore from trying lyric after lyric, and his hair is a mess from his fingers running through it every other minute. His eyes are exhausted, the blue light lenses in his glasses only doing so much. Even his back hurts, which rarely happens now that he lifts so heavy.

But he just can’t make himself quit, which is why he breathes a sigh of relief when he hears the knock. It’s soft, just like you, and he calls out a quiet, “Come in,” feeling the smile stretch his lips as soon as your sweet face peeks through the slowly opening door.

“Are you busy?” You ask apprehensively, your eyes darting between his face and his computer.

He can’t take a break for himself but he can for you, so he says, “Not at all, baby,” and pulls his glasses off, minimizing his music production software. Pushing away from his desk, he turns his chair to face you and holds his hand out, waiting for you to come closer and take it. He just holds your hand for a minute, staring up at you with tired eyes and letting them blink closed when you lean down and press your lips to his.

Kissing you is as easy as loving you. It’s one of the few times in his life where he can shut his brain off and just feel, because every movement comes naturally to him. Dancing and singing do too, of course, but he has to count beats and remember words and keep every next move in mind.

With you, Jihoon can just do what feels right. Like taking hold of your knee with his free hand and pulling until you give in and straddle him in his chair. He loves how plush and perfect you feel against him, all of his sharp edges rounded out by your curves, and he loves even more having your weight on him.

He can take it, he can take you, and he likes to remind you at every opportunity.

Sliding lower in the chair, he pulls your hips into his to let you feel his hardening dick, his hand flexing in yours when you grind down. He can feel how hot you are through your little pajama shorts, and if he knows you at all, you’re wet already. He works his fingers free of yours to slide them between your legs, pulling your shorts and panties to the side so he can feel you through his thin athletic pants.

Your arousal soaks the fabric as soon as he thrusts up into you, making him let out a small laugh against your lips. You pout in response and mutter, “Shut up,” still working your hips against his.

“Didn’t say anything, baby,” he teases, smirking up at you and squeezing your lush hips with both hands. You sink yours into his hair and pull, and suddenly, nothing is funny. His hips buck against yours as his cock twitches, precum leaking from the head adding to the wet patch on his lap.

Your hips roll into his and he starts to throb, his dick pulsing in time with his heart. He can’t let you keep going or you’ll make him cum in his pants, or maybe… he could?

Should he?

It makes you feel good to make him feel good, and you always have a little pep in your step after he lets you make him cum first. He’s also desperate to get his mouth on you, and you’ll be more inclined to let him take care of you if he’s already taken care of.

With his mind made up, he pulls you down onto his cock and grinds into you, exhaling a moan against your mouth when you tug on his hair again. You love it this length, you’ve told him, and he’s going to keep it like this for as long as he possibly can. Partially for you, mostly because he fucking adores having you brush it and play with it and braid it.

He gets to be so close to you, and your fingers in his hair feel heavenly, even (especially) when you get a little rough.

His scalp stings with the next pull and it sends a shiver down his spine, ending in a sharp buck of his hips. He stretches his thumbs out to pull your pussy apart so he can grind into your clit, hoping to take you over the edge with him.

He’s getting close already, and you’re so wet, he can feel every inch of your cunt like there’s nothing separating him from you. Soon enough, there will be nothing, and he’ll be able to lick and suck and kiss you as much as he wants.

You bite his lip and drag your nails over his scalp, and that’s it for him.

His brain goes offline and his hips stutter against yours, a low groan leaving his open mouth as his dick twitches and jerks, streaks of cum splattering the inside of his pants. Your hips don’t stop moving until he stops them himself, his harsh grip dimpling your flesh.

“Fuck,” Jihoon sighs, blinking his eyes open to find you beaming at him.

He can only smile wryly at you in response, shaking his head and letting go of your hips to grab you by the waist.

“Up you go,” he pushes, hefting you up to sit on his keyboard, discordant notes filling the studio until he leans forward and presses mute.

“Are you su-”

“I’ve literally dreamed about this,” he tells you, for the first time.

“You have?” You almost sound like you don’t believe him, and Jihoon simply can’t have that.

“Yes. I’ve dreamed about spreading you out on my desk just like this,” he shoulders his way between your legs. “And kissing up these thighs,” he presses his mouth to your soft skin, digging his teeth in only once, though he wants to leave you covered in bite marks.

“And feeling them squeeze my head when I finally get you on my tongue,” he leans in and licks from your cunt to your clit, fighting a smile when your thighs snap closed just like he knew they would.

He wants to talk to you more but he can’t pull himself away from your pussy, can’t make his mouth form words when he’s so busy using it on you. And honestly, his priority is keeping it on you, for as long as he possibly can.

Between work and sleep, he doesn’t get to taste you nearly as often as he wants to, and now that he actually is between work and sleep, he plans on making the most of it. By shoving his tongue inside you over and over, by wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking until you cry, by groaning and humming into you both so you can feel the vibrations and to voice his obsession with your pussy.

And Jihoon is obsessed with your pussy, make no mistake. If he didn’t love his job so much, he’d quit and spend all his time worshiping you, taking care of you, loving you. He honestly thinks he’d make a killer house husband, and someday, when he retires, he plans on becoming one.

He can imagine it now, cleaning and working out and sleeping until you come home, then feeding you and fucking you till the sun sets, reading to you and massaging away any soreness before wrapping you up in his arms and falling to sleep together. He can still make music while you’re gone, but he won’t be jetting off or practicing for hours on end anymore.

He’s not ready for that now, but for a distant dream, it’s pretty enticing.

Even more enticing is the paradise between your thighs; the taste of you, the scent of you, the feel of you clouding his mind. He can barely breathe but that doesn’t matter, not when you’re moving with his tongue like this, grinding your hips onto his face as he sucks and sucks and sucks at your swollen little clit.

He wishes he could record the sounds coming out of your mouth, wishes he could play them back to you, watch you squirm and feel you flush at the sheer debauchery of them. It occurs to him that he could, but he’d have to pull away from you enough to ask and he’s unable to do so at the moment.

You’re just too hot and wet and perfect for him to stop for even a second, so he’ll save that idea for another time and focus on making you cum for him now. He can tell you’re getting close, by the way your thighs shudder against his ears, by the keen you let out when he sucks hard enough to hollow his cheeks, by the hand you sink into his hair to hold him to you, as if he’d ever want to leave.

All it takes is a groan and a shake of his head and you’re cumming, your arousal leaking all over his chin and dripping down his throat to soak into the neckline of his t-shirt. He’ll take it off as soon as he gains the will to detach himself from you.

It doesn’t come to him until his eyes travel up your body and catch on the way your tits heave in your sleep tank. He wants to see them, feel them, taste them, bury his face in them.

Finally, he stands and rips off his shirt, leaning over you and waiting for you to raise your arms before tugging your top off and throwing it to the side. He takes a second to appreciate your bare breasts, the shape and weight of them intoxicating, and then shoves his face between them, licking over to one nipple and opening his mouth around it with a groan.

He fucking loves your tits, and he shows you just how much with his lips and his teeth and his tongue, one thigh between yours to hold them open for his searching fingers. They find your clit with practiced ease and start to rub staccato circles, chasing you when your hips buck in sensitivity.

He covers your other breast with his free hand, squeezing and brushing his thumb over your pebbled nipple as he sucks at its twin. You must have already showered, your skin tasting like your honey and cocoa butter lotion, and he can’t get enough, his head filling with clouds and images of you dripping wet and running your hands all over your body.

He’s gotten you messy again, but he’s sure you knew what you were doing when you knocked on his studio door. This is almost always how you end up when you come to check on him, his hunger for you insatiable, incurable.

How could he ever get enough of you when you’re this luscious, this sweet, this perfect? His mouth strays from your breast to your stomach, his lips tracing your rolls and stretch marks and cute little belly button before he sinks back down into his chair. He pushes your legs apart with a firm hand and replaces his fingers with his tongue, gliding it over you and sliding his fingers down to your entrance.

He fills you with them slowly even as your cunt flutters and squeezes, wanting them deeper already. He’ll give you what you want, he always does, but first he’ll tease you a little bit. Not to be mean, or to punish you for something, but because he fucking loves to hear you beg.

It always takes you a little push to lose your shyness, to find your voice, and this time, his push comes in the form of three fingers stretching your entrance open, sinking in only to the first knuckle. Your hips roll into his hand and his free one flies up to hold them still, his arm banding over your lap to hold you down so he can fill you at his pace.

He goes much slower than he knows you would prefer, and he presses his smile into your clit when you finally break down.

“Jihoon, please, I’ve been so good for you,” you whine, and he feels the heat spread from head to toe as he realizes it’s one of those nights. The kind where you need him to take control, to be rough with you, to reward you when you’ve earned it.

And you have earned it, so he lets his fingers fill you, pushing them in all the way and murmuring into your clit, “You have been good, baby. I’ll give you what you need, promise.”

You just whimper, your head tilting back on your neck when he scissors his fingers apart and your walls clinging to them as he pulls them out to the tip. “Eyes on me, baby.”

He waits for you to return your gaze to his before pushing his fingers back inside of you and beginning to fuck you with them, his lips pursing around your clit and sucking with every thrust. Your pussy is so fucking hot and wet around his fingers, it makes him moan into you, just the thought of feeling you wrapped around his cock enough to reawaken it.

It twitches in his damp boxers when a curl of his fingers beckons forth a rush of wetness and a sharp keen, one that echoes in his mind like a looped track.

“Baby, can I record you?”

He asks before he can stop himself, but now that it’s out in the air, he won’t take it back. He rests his cheek against your thigh as he waits, his heart pounding and his dick throbbing.

“Um, sure?” You don’t sound certain, and Jihoon doesn’t want you to regret anything. He can always delete them, but he doesn’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with.

“You don’t have to say yes, Y/n. I just think it would be… really fucking hot. Having your voice on file, being able to listen to you whenever I want, using your sounds in songs that will never be heard by anyone but us.”

You squirm under his forearm and clench around his fingers, and he believes you when you say, “Do it, Jihoon. Record me.”

His lips stretch in a broad, genuine smile and he reaches for the computer mouse, opening his recording software and clicking the red button.

He watches little waves form on the baseline, curls his fingers, grinds them into the rough patch inside of you, and arches an eyebrow. You gasp weakly, seemingly shy now that your noises are being picked up by something other than his ears.

Jihoon can be patient though, knows that soon enough, he’ll make you forget all about it.

You’re still being good, holding eye contact and keeping your thighs spread for him, so he rewards you with his mouth around your clit, a heavy suck startling a moan from your parted lips. He fights a smile, his lips pursing and pulling at the swollen bundle of nerves, and starts to hum, knowing you love the vibrations.

He can’t see the software from here but the wave must spike because you let out a sharp cry, your nails scratching at the edge of his desk until he takes your hands and puts them on his head. Your fingers delve into his hair and you pull his face into your pussy, and he knows he’s got you.

He didn’t really consider the mic picking up his own noises but he’s sure it is, his grunts and groans audible even with your thighs pressed to his ears. He can’t stop though, can’t hold them in when you taste so fucking good, when your cunt is searing hot and soaking wet under his mouth, when your nails are scratching at his scalp and sending zaps of electricity down his spine.

They all end in his cock, and he feels it jerk against the waistband of his boxers. He’s tired of them, removes his arm from your hips to shove them and his pants down, groaning loudly when his cock pops out into the open air. It’s sticky with cum and hard enough to hurt, and he can’t resist taking hold of it with his free hand, squeezing hard at the base to ease some of the ache.

His fingers thrust into you as he strokes his dick, the slick sounds loud in his studio, and you crane your neck, your eyes searching until they find his hand at work.

“Fuck, Jihoon, I want you inside of me,” you whine breathlessly, trying to pull him off your cunt by the hair. That just makes him moan into you, makes his cock jump in his grasp, makes him fuck his fingers into you harder.

“Cum for me first,” he demands, determined to get at least two orgasms on this file for mixing purposes. It seems he’s still a producer even when he’s trying to just be a boyfriend.

You pout but listen well, your cries reaching a fever pitch as your pussy flutters around his fingers, arousal spilling out of you and dripping between the keys of his keyboard. He may have to buy a new one, but that’s a problem for future Jihoon, and a problem he would be lucky to have.

“Perfect, baby, that was perfect,” he murmurs in a low tone, wanting your voice to be the focal point.

“Will you fuck me now?” You pant, reaching down to smooth your fingers over the head of his cock, making him shiver and swallow a groan.

“Yeah, baby, I’ll fuck you now,” he whispers, standing from the chair and pulling away from you to tug you off his desk. Your knees shake when you get your feet under you and he smirks, cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss to your lips before taking you by the hips and turning you around.

He squeezes your shoulder and starts pushing you down, letting you bend over the rest of the way by yourself. You fold your arms under your head, resting your cheek on them so you can watch as he guides his dick to your cunt and sinks inside.

You’re stretched out enough to take him easily, your walls forming to his cock and gripping it tightly. You’re such a perfect fucking fit for him, it’s like you were made for one another, like your bodies were designed to match. It blows his mind every single time he has the privilege of being inside of you.

He’s reluctant to leave you and you’re reluctant to let him, but pulling out means he can thrust back in. He keeps one hand on your shoulder and drops the other to your hip, clutching at it like a lifeline as he starts to fuck you in earnest.

His hips smack into your plush ass rhythmically, the sound causing sharp spikes on the waveform graph and acting as the perfect percussion to the moans and whimpers escaping you. The mic is right by your mouth and he knows they’re being picked up beautifully, butterflies gathering in his stomach just at the thought of getting to hear them through his headphones.

“Sound so fuckin’ pretty, baby,” he grunts, angling his hips up to hit your g-spot and smirking when you yelp at the sensation. Your back arches, your stomach pressing into his keyboard and your hips pressing into his, and he just holds you tighter, fucks into you harder.

Your pussy undulates around him as his hand slides from your shoulder to join the other at your hip, both of them gripping your ass and spreading you apart so he can watch his cock enter you again and again. It’s a sight he’ll never get tired of, a feeling he’ll never get used to, a gift he’ll never truly deserve.

It’s what will send him over the edge, just as long as he makes you fall first. He already came before you once and he doesn’t plan on doing so again for a long time, but he needs to get you there soon or he won’t have a choice.

One of his hands slips around your waist to dive between your legs, his fingers finding your sensitive clit and starting to strum it as he fills you over and over. You whimper and tremble against him, your cunt fluttering wildly around his aching cock and your hand flying down to grasp his wrist like you think he’ll pull away.

He doesn’t intend to, honestly wouldn’t mind being attached to you like this for the rest of his life, knows already that he wants to spend it with you.

His fingers get rougher on your clit and his hips move on autopilot as his brain empties, his balls aching to do the same. “Please cum, fuck. Baby, please fucking cum.”

Jihoon should have known he’d be the one begging you at the end of the night.

Thankfully, you like to indulge him, your pussy locking him in place as you cum with a loud cry, followed by gasping sobs of his name when he doesn’t stop fucking you. He’s right there, he’s right fucking-

“Jihoon, cum inside me. Fill me up, I want it,” you whimper, pressing your ass into his hips and squeezing your inner muscles around his throbbing cock, and that’s the end for him.

He drops down to cover your body with his as he breaks apart, his own moans and whimpers registering on the graph alongside yours and his cum flooding into you in pulses. His hand leaves your clit so he can wrap his arm around your waist in a hug, his cheek pressed to your back and his other hand finding yours.

He tangles your fingers together and rises up, pulling you with him and sitting heavily in his chair. He’s still hard enough his cock doesn’t slip out, and he leans you to the side so he can cup your cheek and turn your face into his, pressing his lips to yours in an openmouthed kiss.

“Love you, baby,” he whispers into your mouth, waiting for you to say it back before kissing his way to your neck and biting down gently, just enough to leave an indent of his teeth behind.

“Will you come to bed with me?” You whisper in a small voice, and he returns his lips to yours, kissing you deeply and responding, “Of course, baby.”

He reaches a hand out and stops the recording, saving the file to his private hard drive, ideas filling his head already. They can wait until the morning though, you asked him to go to bed with you and go to bed he will.

Jihoon thinks this might be the most productive break he’s ever had.

AN: this one's for all the jihoon stans who have been thirsting with me lately 💖

My Masterlist

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