#like ‘you think I’m fucked up? you think Logan didn’t love me? well YOUR MOM HATES YOU SO.’

[abnormalpsychology]

Someone pointed out that “it’s not my fault you didn’t get his approval. I have given you endless approval” could be interpreted as Tom thinking his love should be equivalent to Logan’s, which is just… it’s not! Of course it’s not!!!! No matter what he does, there’s always going to be a part of Shiv yearning for that. No amount of a good man’s love can cure not getting that original parental love. Something something “you’re not Logan and I’m not Gil. and that’s a good thing.” Like I don’t think I would wish being cheated on or being in a relationship w/ Shiv on anyone, but I also wouldn’t wish what happened to her on any child. Even if she’s “broken”, I don’t think his love could ever “fix” her, even if he wanted to believe that. What makes it a tragedy is I think that both Shiv and Tom did the best they could 💔

#something that’s always been so interesting to me is like . how willfully Tom seems ready to ignore the amount of abuse around them #shiv saying ‘your mom likes me more than she likes you’ was super interesting bc #1. it implies that tom also came from a fucked up bg with a lack of parental love #but also like #shiv firing that back was her trying to even the playing field #like ‘you think I’m fucked up? you think Logan didn’t love me? well YOUR MOM HATES YOU SO.’ #something something ‘you should be so lucky I was fucked up long before I met you’ convo last episode #something something Tom not knowing when is the right time for romance somethign something fucked up love is in his blood too #that line is so funny bc wHAT #was tom an ‘I can fix her’ bitch??????? #this show is driving me insane #how much of it is projection? how much of it is *real*? #tomshiv #succession #failmarriage #succession analysis #bbge.text #or maybe it’s not that deep idk #idk this all is prolly incoherent but what an interesting debate #what the fuck happened to tom to give him a fuckedup enough view on love that he was willing to join the Roy fam? tag your answers below!!!

[fruitcoops]

Hey! I hope all is well. I really enjoy your account and I want to thank you for all your hard work to run it, it doesn't go unnoticed.

I also had a fic rec if you wanted to think about it. I'm craving a good harvard finnlo story, where they are being very obviously in love with each other but won't admit it. I know you have something like it, but I just love every different take on this

I hope you have a wonderful week:)

Fic O'Ween Day 5: Ritual, with our favorite silly little lovebirds to put in Situations. Mega love to @noots-fic-fests for the fest and @lumosinlove for the Harvard boys :)

The impulses seemed to catch him when he least expected it. Frenetic, nearly frantic energy—pale hands flexing and teeth worrying marks into a thin lower lip. Fingers fidgeting, ripping at essay edges, tapping pens like Morse. It surged in him and filled his face with blossom-pink. Turned his ears red. It was as if the urge forced itself free and wrested control of every bit of him. That, Logan could relate to. Urges had never been gentle with him, either.

“What do you mean?”

Finn fixed him with a quizzical look. “New York? The city?”

“No, I—yes, I know.” The glorious blip of attention was gone, focused once again on a haphazard backpack. “Why?”

Paper rustled as Finn waved a vacant hand. “Just needed to.”

Logan frowned. “Is Alex okay?”

“What?” Confusion deepened the crease by his mouth; Finn didn’t bother looking up. “Far as I know.”

“So you’re going all the way to New York for a weekend, and you’re not driving—”

“Gas is expensive.”

“—and not even going to a game?” And you’re not taking me? It coated his tongue like the caramel from Finn’s Dunkin runs. He stomped the thought down before it could threaten his teeth. “Don’t you have an exam next week?”

“It’s fine.”

“Harz—”

“It’s fine, man,” Finn repeated, shooing him gently aside to dig around in the dresser for socks.

Logan pushed himself up on the edge of Finn’s desk and watched him rummage. He was tight around the shoulders and jaw; his hoodie sleeves were pulled all the way to the heels of his hands. The redness in his cheeks lingered in a soft arc. Maybe overheating, from the radiator. Maybe he was just frustrated. Knowing Finn, eight different emotions and a million thoughts were on rotisserie. Logan bit the inside of his cheek. “Is it…is it your mom, or…?”

He fell quiet when Finn straightened, socks in-hand and brows pinched in the middle. “Logan, what are you talking about?”

You’re leaving on one of our only free weekends and being cryptic about it. Also, I can’t come, and I’m going to think about that for the next several days whenever I wake up and your bed is still made. “You’re being weird. Stop it.”

“Why am I being weird?” Finn half-laughed, resting his hip against the dresser.

“You’re spending eight hours on a train to visit home when you have a car, an exam, and a free weekend to just hang out.” Logan shrugged. “It’s weird. There’s a party tonight. Don’t you have a fanclub to look after?”

Finn’s brow arched with amusement. “Who, you?”

“Non—fuck off, god,” Logan grumbled, kicking at him when he passed. Finn’s laughter lit up the sunset shadows in the corners of their room.

“I’m literally fine, just missing home.” Finn tossed the socks into his bag blindly, already reaching for something else. “I guess Alex just had a buddy get traded and he’s kinda down, so we’ll probably just hang out. Video games, movies. The usual. It’ll only be an hour or so to the station if I take the subway. And I’m not worried about my exam, anyway.”

The tension in his neck told a different story, but Logan wouldn’t press. A stressed Finn was a distracted Finn, and he was allowed to be selfish for every bit of focus when he was about to leave. “Do you need a ride?”

Deodorant, toothpaste, and a third paperback made their way into the duffel. “I’m taking the train.”

“A ride to the train station, dumbass.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

Logan tossed a wool cap at him. “That’s why I offered.”

Finn finally paused for more than a breath; his forehead pinched, and Logan watched him draw his lip back between his front teeth. “Isn’t there a party tonight?”

“Ouais.” Finn was looking at him like that meant something. “Quoi?”

“Don’t you want to go?”

“Do you need a ride?” Logan countered.

“No.”

“Do you want a ride?”

Finn glanced out the window. His nose scrunched on one side. “Kinda.”

Logan spread his hands. “Then I’ll take you. Easy.”

“But—”

“Non.”

“Okay.” Finn looked at him for a long moment, then smiled, almost to himself. “Cool. Thanks.”

“This is why you have a roommate.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He still seemed pleased, despite his huff. Logan would never understand. It was delightfully entertaining all the same. He swung his feet while Finn finished up—like this, he could practically follow the path of Finn’s disorganized mental checklist.

“I don’t suppose I’ll be allowed to actually drive you there,” he joked when Finn slung his (full to bursting) duffel over his arm.

That got him a snort of laughter. “There will never be a day you’re allowed to drive my car while I’m in it, Tremblamalay, unless it’s a fucking hearse.”

“I’m a good driver!”

“I didn’t say you weren’t!” Finn propped their door open with a foot and snagged his keys off the hook. “Don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not yelling.”

“You basically are.”

“You want me to yell? Because I can yell at you. Ah—”

Logan broke off with a curse as a pool noodle swung from the open door to their left. “Oh, hey,” Percy said, shock falling to a smile in an instant. “Where are you two off to?”

“Train station,” Finn answered. He cocked his head. “What’s with the shit?”

“Party, duh. Heading home?”

“Just for the weekend. Lo’s driving me.” Something in Logan’s stomach gave a giddy whirl at the jerk of Finn’s chin. It fizzled into a puddle of goo when he cracked a half-smile. “Well, he’s driving back.”

“Oh.” Percy nodded. “Damn, we’ll miss you guys tonight.”

Logan frowned. “I’ll be here.”

“I thought…”

“I’m driving back,” he repeated. “Back from the train station.”

Understanding dawned on Percy’s face, then bemused surprise. “You finally did that separation ritual, huh? Something slashed the sutures sticking you two together? You might keel over the second you cross the state line, you know.”

“Wow, Marsh, you’re so funny,” Finn parroted with a loud and brash HA HA that made Logan grin, but Percy just snickered to himself and let them through with gentle smacks to the backs of their heads.

“Go forth, young men!”

“It’s West!” Finn corrected.

“Go West, then! Or—northeast, I guess.”

Finn let Logan through the front door first (what a fucking gentleman, god, Logan was not going to survive him) before closing it with a pointed slam. “I’ll get the—”

“Passenger seat,” Finn interrupted. He swooped his bag out of reach when Logan went to take it from him. “Nuh-uh. Go sit.”

“I’m being helpful.”

“You’re going to break my trunk.” Finn shook his head. “She doesn’t need to be closed that hard, Tremz. She’s a lady.”

Logan wrinkled his nose. “Please never refer to your car as a lady ever again.”

A theatrical demonstration of proper trunk-handling was the only response Finn gave. Logan watched him come around the side of the car while he buckled in, running a hand through his hair and twirling his keyring around one finger. Logan knew what that hair felt like. Mink-soft and thick. A little wavy, when he let it grow out. It had pressed against his cheek on the bus oh-so-many times, when Finn nodded off ten miles from the nearest gas station and the roads were too bumpy for Logan to sleep.

He wondered what Finn would do if he reached out and touched it now, while he adjusted the radio and hummed to himself. The energy vibrating under his skin had calmed to a low current. If Logan could tap into it, maybe he could be brave enough to find out.

“Speak!”

Logan jumped. “Quoi?”

“Oh, it does work,” Finn said, seemingly pleased. “Logan, sit!”

“Get fucked.”

#logan tremblay #finn ohara #finnlo #harvard finnlo #coast to coast #lumosinlove #sweater weather #my fic #fanfic #fluff #weekend trip #fic o’ween 2023 #percy marshall

[spoopydooblr]

My King Will Be Kind Chapter 7 / Kendall Roy x OC

an: YALL ITS BEEN A MIN! my bad!!! ive just been doing my thang and honestly fell out of love with this story for a sec.  i had to rewatch some episodes of s4 to get myself back into it and here we are!  this chapter is a bit of a filler, as next chapter is going to be Living Plus which should be a shitshow lmao.  PLEASE enjoy and lmk what u think!  i love getting your messages it literally makes my day! 

tw: mentions of death, cursing

Even when the first season of Delirium came out and was trending on every platform, Stella was still flying mostly under the radar. Sure, she had her fans, but the hype around her was nothing like it was now.

Stella had given up on Twitter, as the reactions to her and Kendall were not so great. People either had no fucking idea who she was or were completely disappointed in her choice in men.

im not gonna lie idk who tf stella allen is

Stella...girl...kendall roy...?

E! News even did a segment on her a few nights ago.

"Who is Kendall Roy's new girlfriend?" The peppy anchor said. "Well I've got you covered, folks!"

Some of Stella's scenes from Delirium flashed across the screen. They even had a blurry pap picture from the wedding to complete the package.

After the segment, her mother called her, almost in tears.

"Stelly, baby, what have you gotten yourself into?" She asked.

"Everything's fine, Mom, please don't worry."

"I don't want you involved with that family. Your dad hated ATN, remember? And that guy...how old is he?"

She cringed. "I know, I know."

"I thought you liked that boy from the movie?" Her mother mentioned.

"You mean Damien?" Damien was a costar who she went on two dates with over a year ago. she knew her mom wanted the best for her, but that had been over.

"He was such a nice boy. Why don't you call him?"

"He broke up with me, remember?"

"Oh." She thought for a moment. "What about--"

"I like Kendall, Mom."

"Really, babes?"

"Yeah..." Stella paused. "I mean, he's actually a really good guy."

"I'm sure he is, but doesn't he have kids? Doesn't he have an addiction problem? Are you really ready to deal with all that?"

"He's clean now, he told me."

"Isn't that what every addict says?"

"He barely has time to use, Mom, he's so busy."

"How does he make time for you, then?"

Stella thought for a moment. To be honest, she didn't know how to answer her mother's question. Things were hectic, to say the least, for the Roy's right now.

As she sat in her apartment, scrolling through Twitter and defending herself against her mother, Kendall was at his father's wake. He had invited her to go with him, but warned that all of his family and company would be there.

"It's gonna be a fucking fuckfest." He had told her.

Though meeting Shiv was definitely on her radar, Stella couldn't bring herself to go. It wasn't even really a wake, it was more like a business meeting in a dead man's penthouse. There wasn't a place for her there, and she didn't want one. Kendall didn't seem disappointed, as there were other things on his mind. Neither of them wanted to be questioned by his family when there were important decisions to be made.

"It's going to be tough, Mom, but I like him. It'll be okay."

----------------------------------

It was later that night when Kendall appeared on Stella' doorstep again. They had been texting every day, but with Logan dying, Kendall and his siblings were busy. It almost felt like things were back to normal, if it weren't for the thousands of tweets about their relationship. She thought that Logan's death would have surpassed them in the news, but it only intensified the spotlight on her and Kendall.

Again, it was late at night when Kendall called her, saying he was at the front door. This time Stella was more prepared, as she was still up doing work. Still, she was eating cold pizza out of the box and wearing a big t-shirt and shorts when he called.

"You need to stop doing this." She teased, opening the door for him.

He was quiet as he stepped into the threshold of her tiny apartment. For once, he had nothing to say to her as he entered.

"What's up? How was the wake?" She ran her hands down his arms, genuinely concerned about his mood.

"It's--" He started. "It's me."

"What do you mean, baby?"

"It's me. I'm...I'm CEO. Me and Rome, we're gonna do it but it's me, mostly."

Stella's jaw dropped. Sure, she was used to having Kendall as COO of WayStar, but CEO? This was on a whole different level.

"You're what?"

"I'm the fucking CEO." He said, looking at her, his hazel eyes brimming with tears.

"You're the fucking CEO."

"Yeah."

Stella threw her arms around him. Though it was a bit of a shock, she knew that CEO was Kendall's dream. He worked his entire life to be in this position and he was finally getting to it. He returned the hug, picking her up.

"H-how did this even happen?"

"Dad wrote it down. Before he died. The board still has to decide, and the GoJo deal is still there, but for now, yeah, I'm it."

"Oh my God. That's insane."

"I know. Fuck."

"What have you done to celebrate?" She asked.

"Well, I just got out of the wake." He sat down on her couch. "I came right here."

Stella's heart soared. It made her incredibly happy that Kendall wanted to share this news with her first. She sat down next to him, trying to ignore the pizza crusts on the table next to them.

"Well what do you want to do?" She genuinely meant it, not in a sexual way.

"Honestly, I just really need to sleep. I, uh, have to be in the office tomorrow at eight."

"Oh, shit, okay."

"It's okay. I wanted to see you before the shit show starts tomorrow."

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you want, but I don't want to keep you."

"No, no." He pulled her into him. "You're stuck with me."

"In that case..." She kissed him softly. "Do you wanna smoke some weed?" Stella nodded towards the pipe on her endtable. There was a half-smoked bowl inside already.

Kendall smiled, "I think you read my mind, pretty girl."

She laughed, trying to reach the pipe while still in his grasp. Her hands reached the bowl and Kendall magically produced a lighter.

They sat across from each other on the couch, Stella handing the pipe to Kendall.

"You first, Mr. CEO." She giggled when a giant smile spread across his face.

He thanked her, taking the bowl and lighting it.

"Wait," Kendall said. "Won't this set off the alarm?"

"Oh, they're broken, don't worry." Stella laughed.

He nodded, lighting the pipe and inhaling.

---------------------------------------

After twenty minutes and a few too many puffs later, Stella was curled into Kendall's arms on her tiny couch.

"The wedding was nice, you know." She whispered into the cold morning air.

"I'm sure it was. Con planned the whole thing."

"It was beautiful. Even the loony cake."

Kendall chuckled. "I'm glad you stayed. It says a lot about you."

"I love family. And I love weddings."

"You want a big wedding, Stella girl?" He said, weed clouding their minds.

"Yeah." She said, eyes glazed over. "I want a huge ring too. You think you can do that, Ken?"

"Definitely." He smiled, secretly promising to himself that he would actually, one day, make that happen.

"Not a boat though. Kinda tacky."

"Anything you want, Stell."

"Think you can get both of our families to get along?"

"That, I'm not so sure about."

She was quiet for a second. As much as talking about weddings was fun, it just reminded her of her father. Who would walk her down the aisle? Who would she dance with at her first dance?

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, I--" She started, "I miss my Dad."

"Me too." Kendall said.

She immediately felt bad for even thinking about her own grief. Kendall's wound was still fresh while Stella had grieved over a year ago.

"What happened to him?"

"He, um, went to sleep one night and didn't wake up." Hot tears pricked at her eyes. "My mom woke up next to his body. It was like, the worst thing ever."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about it right now. You're like, grieving your own loss."

"My Dad was a piece of shit." Kendall laughed. "But he was still my Dad."

"I know baby." She looked up at him, both holding back tears. "I know."

He kissed her softly.  All she could see in the dark room was his face.  

"I think I love you."  Kendall said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"What?"  Stella sat up.  She was not expecting to hear those words.

"Sorry, uh--"  Kendall stuttered, and for once, he didn't really know what to say.  

"You love me?"

"Yeah.  I fucking do."  They sat across from each other on the couch again, Stella frowning to herself.  

She had no fucking idea what to say, but she knew one thing.  "I love you too, Ken."  Stella mirrored the goofy smile plastered on his face.

"I fucking love you, Stella girl."  He kissed her face all over, pushing her down on the couch.  "Let me make you mine."

She hummed as his lips traveled down her neck.  "I'm yours, Kendall."  Stella giggled as his cold hands reached under her shirt.  

"As much as I'd like to fuck you, I really have to get some rest."  He whispered, putting his head on her collarbone.

Stella nodded, knowing tomorrow was just first day as CEO and staying up late wasn't exactly the best idea.  "Do you wanna stay?"

Kendall's face lit up.  He nodded eagerly.

-------------------------------------

Stella was awoken the next morning by her dog growling and barking from the kitchen.  He probably wanted to be taken out.  She rubbed her eyes, realizing that there was barely any light coming from the curtains.  It had to be four in the morning.  She rolled over, expecting to find Kendall, but he was nowhere to be found.  

"Ken?"

"In here!"  His voice boomed from the kitchen.  

Stella reluctantly got out of bed, walking to the kitchen and seeing possibly the funniest thing she had ever seen.  

Kendall was sitting criss-cross on the counter, hiding away from her dog.  Stella couldn't help but laugh.  Her dog was less than 15 pounds and was all bark and no bite.  Of course, Kendall didn't know that and probably had never been around dogs in his life.  

"Ken, oh my God."  She giggled, taking a picture of his scared state on top of the counter.  

"He was barking at me!"

"He's a chihuahua, Kendall."  Stella said as she scooped up the little dog.

"Last time I checked, chihuahuas were mean."

"Okay, true.  But Kurt is a sweetie, right baby?"  She kissed the dog on the forehead.  "Don't be mean to mommy's friend."

"Friend?"  Kendall pretended to be hurt.  

"Sorry.  Don't be mean to mommy's boyfriend."

Kendall got down from the counter where Stella noticed he had been trying to make coffee with her old ass coffee maker.

"Oh, God, you didn't try to make coffee, did you?"

Kendall looked at her sheepishly.  "When did you get this fucking thing?  1998?"

"When I was two years old?  No."

"Jesus, you're a baby."  He smiled at her.  The age-gap thing was kind of weird for her still, as she had never dated someone as old as Kendall.  

"And you're fucking old."  She said, rummaging around to make coffee for him.  "This coffee isn't great, sorry."

"It's okay.  I'll have Fikret get me some.  He's on his way."

Stella frowned, not ready to let Kendall leave their little bubble yet.  "I'm so excited for you, Mr. CEO."  She wrapped her arms around his neck.  "You're gonna kill it."

#kendall roy #kendall succession #kendall roy x oc #kendall roy x reader

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

I think Shiv is just as much a victim of their marriage as Tom is, they’ve both wronged each other similar amounts in different ways. Despite this I think Tom effectively won the argument, when I say won I don’t mean that he felt better afterwards, or that he was more “right”, he wasn’t, smh “you won’t have my baby” Tom should’ve maybe talked properly to her about if she wanted kids before he proposed, as having kids is clearly something important to him. He may have been wrong or damn well misogynistic about some criticisms he had of Shiv, but despite this, for want of a better and less cheesy phrase he was saying “his truth” Shiv didn’t really do this or at least not as much as Tom.

When Tom screamed “You were going to see me sent to jail” I sort of understood where he was coming from with his anger here, because even though Shiv was right and he offered to go, and frankly there wasn’t much Shiv could do to help him in that scenario, I think the fact that she barely expressed any happiness and even tried to suppress his own somewhat when he found out he was in fact not going to prison, I generally think she was glad he wasn’t going to prison but it didn’t show at all because of her emotional repression, if I were Tom I would definitely grow resentment if my spouse showed apparent indifference over whether or not I was going to prison. But while I was watching in my head I was like ‘Shiv! He is painting you to be a complete villain, why don’t you tell him that when Logan asked you who you would rather take the fall for cruises Kendall or Tom, you said Kendall, you choose your own brother to take the fall over your husband’ of course Logan was just putting her through emotional torture and would have chosen Kendall anyway, because Logan does what he wants, but shiv doesn’t know that, she was probably under the impression that it was her choice, and she choose to save Tom at the expense of her brother, a level of dedication to him, that I’m not sure that Tom has shown to her at any point, despite being the generally more supportive spouse before his big betrayal. But then I thought of course she didn’t tell him that! If she had that would’ve have basically been a bigger love declaration then any “I love yous” she’s told him in the past, she’s not going to show him that much vulnerability especially when they’re fighting.

The only criticism of substance Shiv gave him was the “you took away the last 6 months away with my dad… you sucked up to him and cut me out” the rest of what she said was petty “your mom likes me more than she likes you, you’re a hick, you’re a snake, a social climber” while Tom told her she was selfish, insecure, broken and incapable of love. Tom was more horrible then she was, because to be that horrible you have let your emotions spill and Shiv was refusing to do that despite the tears in her eyes. Clearly out of everything Tom said what hurt her the most was when Tom said “I think you are perhaps not a good person to have children” (obviously this is a sensitive topic for her because of her traumatic relationship with her own mother, and also the fact she’s fucking secretly pregnant) Shiv could have given Tom reasons why he would be a terrible father or even flung the pregnancy in his face, instead, defeated she said “well, that’s not a very nice thing to say, is it?” To stop herself from breaking down in front of him completely she said “I don’t even like you, I don’t care about you” in such an unconvincing way that I think even Tom must have been able to tell it’s bullshit, but on other hand he is so insecure in his relationship with Shiv, and let’s be honest not without reason, that he likely took her word for it.

#Tomshiv #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #not sure if this is even coherent but wanted to get my take on their fight down into words #Tom is my favourite character but I have more sympathy for shiv in terms of their marriage at the moment #I also think that Tom is just a worse person then shiv in general tbh honest but of course shiv is awful too #they all are #Ken and Roman are worse then either of them I think but that’s thoughts for a different time

[dramaturgical-sense]

succession s1 episodes ranked

my unofficial official ranking of all the episodes in s1 of succession. mainly posting this for my own reference but feel free to argue w me in the notes. 

10. celebration: this episode does a good job of introducing the characters and setting up the background for later episodes. but since it is such an early episode, it naturally pales a little in comparison to the later episodes. a strong episode, but not a standout. favourite line: “Like this hitchhiker kid that I picked up this morning, like earlier this morning. 'Cause it was raining and I didn't want... I didn't want him to get sexually assaulted?”

9. shit show at the fuck factory- amazing episode title. again this episode does a great job at setting up the siblings dynamics, both with each other and with logan. this episode does a great job at highlighting the uncertainty of kendall’s position as CEO and setting up the debt issue plotline. again a strong episode, but not necessarily a standout. favourite line: “What I think he meant to say was that he wished that Mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful.”

8. i went to market- again, the job of this episode is mainly to background the upcoming conflict between kendall and logan. it does this well, but for me personally i find it a little less engaging than some of the other episodes. there is some fantastic tomgreg and tomshiv moments this episode. tom is especially good, going from uncertain and hesitant around shiv, to coercive and bullying around greg. favourite line: “Well, Kim Jong Pop, because that's not how things work in this country.”

7. prague- i do enjoy this episode, but i personally feel like it relies on the premise of “bachelor party at a sex club” too much for the humour and the jokes. however, there are so many great moments that i couldn’t put this episode any lower. tom is FANTASTIC in this episode, desperately overcompensating in the funniest ways possible. the dogpound conversation is excellent, and sets up a recurring theme in succession- the fallibility of memory and the way the three siblings can perceive the same event in vastly different ways. favourite line: “She kisses me and puts it back in my mouth, and I swallow.” “Which, the cum?”

6. lifeboats- this is a really fun episode. we get to see kendall and roman in action, and they are all too ready to embarass themselves. this episode really solidifies the fact that while kendall can bluster and put on a good show, at the end of the day he is still desperate to impress logan. its a funny episode, the pacing is great, and we get our first tomshiv domestic breakfast scene, which i love. favourite line: “It's not like they pre-poop them or something, like, it's not like... They're just bags, really. It's just a mental barrier.”

5. sad sack wasp trap- this is a stellar episode. we get the cruises plotline, connor’s mental breakdown, the further fracturing of kendall and logan’s relationship, and we start to see the cracks in tom and shiv’s relationship. this episode is intriguing, clever and funny. one of my favourites to re-watch. favourite line: “Tom, it's tough to have to tell you like this, but I'm in a sexual relationship with your mother. She talks in her sleep.”

4. which side are you on- the past five episodes have been building up the tension between logan and kendall, and it culminates in a very satisfying way. the ending shot of logan with ‘which side are you on’ playing in the background gives me chills everytime. the show opened with logan pissing on the floor and having a brain hemorrhage, yet he manages to be a terrifying figure throughout the show, with no other character able to stand up to him. every single second of the boardroom scene is great, and i particularly love roman’s body language throughout. absolutely fantastic. favourite line: “Drink the gold, my friend. And then later you and I can have a 24-karat piss.”

3. nobody is ever missing- okay look, this is a phenomenal episode, there is no denying that. the only reason it isn’t number one on this list is because i feel like this episode is less impactful on a rewatch, than it was the first time i saw it. but the scenes of kendall dancing with his family and his conversation with logan at the end of the episode still hit so hard. it’s a very kendall-centric episode but the other characters still get their moments to shine. shiv and tom’s wedding conversation and roman’s rocket launch catastrophe are highlights in a great ep. love love love. favourite line: “Bad news about my hymen. It's gone.”

2. austerlitz- this is the episode that made me completely obsessed with succession when i first watched it. this episode flipped a switch in my brain and i realised succession had everything i could possibly want in a tv show. i especially love the portrayal of kendall’s relapse- it’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy with everyone around him believing he’s already relapsed. this episode is such a perfect depiction of the cycles of abuse, as we see logan repeat patterns from his own dysfunctional childhood when he manipulates and terrorises his own children. kendall’s confrontation with logan + the shot of kendall doing cocaine on that giant rock at the end + the shot of logan’s scars rewire my brain everytime i watch the episode. so good. favourite line: I don't know how to say this, except to say that love is a strange and peculiar affliction. It's like a virus. So could you please just stay here for a while... and maybe you'll catch it.

1. pre-nuptial- going into this rewatch, i expected that austerlitz would take the number one spot. but like all great romances, my love for episode 9 snuck up on me unexpectedly. this is definitely an episode that does better upon a rewatch. there isn’t one major iconic moment in this episode, and it definitely does a lot of setting up for the finale, but this is a very revealing episode in terms of the characters’ motivations and relationships. every single character is in fine form: at their most neurotic and dysfunctional. all the interactions between characters are layered and nuanced, and i particularly enjoyed watching the siblings engage with caroline. special mention for the tomshiv conversation this episode, which will forever live in my heart. i could write a whole separate post about that one scene itself. favourite line: “Well, these hands aren't gonna fuck themselves.”

#succession #succession s1 rewatch

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #073

If the last female you talked to told you that she was pregnant, what would you say to her? My mom had a complete hysterectomy so that's literally impossible. If the last male you talked to told you that he was going to be a father, what would you say to him? Well I'm sure as hell not pregnant so that means he cheated, in which case I'd break up with him in a heartbeat. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No, not really. The last time you were in a car, who was driving? My mom. What’s the shortest song you have on your iPod? It's probably some Silent Hill track, or a Shadow of the Colossus one.

How did you meet the last person that messaged you on Facebook? Back in the old YouTube days where it had more social aspects. Have you ever had a friend whose parents you didn’t like? Yep. If you were told that you were going to spend the rest of your life with the last person you kissed, would that make you happy? I'd be fucking ecstatic, honestly. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? Oh, I definitely have something. It oddly doesn't really manifest when typing, though; instead, I absolutely cannot physically write for very long. What browser do you use? Chrome. How much was your allowance when you were a kid? I didn't get one. Do you often find yourself eating just because you're bored? Not so much anymore, but I do occasionally struggle with that. Have you ever sent an anon hate message, be honest now. Nope. That is, first of all, unnecessary and rude, and secondly, it's also cowardly. Biggest fear, pick ONE. Ending up living alone in the streets. I worry a lot it'll happen after Mom dies. What's the grossest thing that dogs do? Ugh the fact some have a thing for eating cat shit. I CANNOT handle that. If you’re a girl, what’s your favorite color of eyeliner? Oh wow, I had no idea eyeliner was exclusive to females. But whatever, I only ever wear black. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yep. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Hmmm... first off, definitely a Pokemon, but it's super hard to pick exactly what! I think I'd go with Vaporeon because I LOVE to Eeveelutions and it'd be useful to have one that had water-oriented powers, too. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like those Starburst ones. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO once upon a time I found basically fursuit heads in one of those big baskets in Wal-Mart and I lost it. 😭 Have you ever met any bands/band members before? NO but I absolutely wanna go to a Rammstein meet and greet at some point. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Logan really sticks with me. That was one that made me cry. Do you struggle with acne? Nah, my acne problems chilled out a lot when I was like... 19? Around there? What was the last song you downloaded onto your computer? Oh god idk, I did a MASSIVE downloading sesh a couple days ago for my iPod. What color are your headphones, if you have any? My current earbuds are blue. I FLY through earbuds, one side always stops working. Where do you normally get your hair cut? I see a family friend and have since like... middle school? Maybe even before then. Will you go to your high school reunion? Nooooope. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I HAVE one on my collarbone, so. I want to get it covered with something new, so I'll obviously do it again. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yep. Have you ever cussed someone out? I can't remember if I actually cursed, but I can tell you I told OFF my sister's abusive then-boyfriend. Fucking coward just stared at me like he was wondering what the hell he did. He was a fucking manipulative narcissist. How would you feel if a significant other asked you to make your relationship "open" as in, see other people but still stay together? What would you tell them? Quite honestly, I would immediately break up with them. That to me is a clear sign that I'm not enough for them. I hold no moral distaste for polygamy for others, but it is NOT for me, and my partner being interested in it is no okay to me. When you were younger, did you mother or father ever let you open a few presents before Christmas or your birthday even arrived? As kids it was a tradition to let us open one, "minor" gift on Christmas Eve. How many break ups have you had to go through? How many of those break ups were with the same person? I've only had one breakup that REALLY felt like a "breakup." Do you plan on traveling a lot in your lifetime? What about moving around a lot? Will this be from state to state, country to country, or what? Traveling, god, I HOPE so. I don't want to move around a lot, though. How old where you when you had your first pet? What kind of animal was it? What was its name? My first PERSONAL pet was honestly too young; I can't remember if it was my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow, but I was certainly too young to properly care for either. It still amazes me that Shadow lived his/her full life expectancy, they were stunted in growth and I'm certain the humidity wasn't as sustained as it was meant to be. When taking a survey, do you typically read the person’s answers before typing in your own? Or do you just erase them without reading them? I always read my friends' answers. Do you like “just girly things” on Pinterest? Lol no, I literally use Pinterest for fandom pictures. 😭 How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? Mostly brown, but also black. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Are there any Asians in your family? No. Do you take birth control pills? Yes. My periods are unbearable otherwise. What’s your favorite frosting flavor? Chocolate, I guess? Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, but they were busy at that time so I didn't get to actually talk to anyone. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? I write mostly in cursive, yes. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? It'd be nice to spend some time with Girt actually on Christmas. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Nope. Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Yeah. Do you like quesadillas? Yeah, generally. Whose butt did you last slap? lul I'm pretty positive that was Chelsea, yearssss ago. We used to be real close and she lived with Colleen when I saw her a lot and our friendship was founded on being playfully sexual around each other haha. I eventually got closer to her (and still am today) than Colleen. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? God, I used to love that. I still would, but. Gas ain't cheap. What’s a good book you’d recommend? ESPECIALLY in today's age, I cannot recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood any more than I already do, particularly for those with uteruses. Margaret is SO vividly descriptive and creative in her writing so it's just fun to read, and let's not fucking forget the moral behind it. Have you gone out with someone, then ruined the friendship you had before? I want to say yes, but like... Jason and I weren't "just friends" for very long at all. Like, MAYBE two weeks. It was very, very obvious what was going to happen/where we were going. There was nothing to really go back to, because we STARTED OUT very clearly into each other. Did you sleep alone last night? My cat always sleeps with me. <3 Do you hate when people try to play with your hair? If you're not my boyfriend, I'd feel kinda weird. Last song you heard? "Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend" by Powerwolf is on rn. Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at? My sister's. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? Red, definitely. Have you ever met a famous political figure? Nope. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Have you ever lost someone to reckless/drunk driving? I am VERY grateful that I have not. Have you ever fed a wild animal? Yeah; ducks and geese at a local pond, and I used to like making bird feeders out of pinecones and peanut butter and stuff. Have you ever faked sick? Yup. I sure hated school. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? I don't like apple pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I'm sure I did both at the only one I've been to. Do you use a comb or brush? I just use a comb. Have you ever been called a coward? What for? Yup. The one time I remember was when Sara created a new deviantART account solely to tell me off and then immediately deleted the account. Apparently THAT isn't cowardly. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? Yeah, I've never understood the considerable percentage of people who don't like bread crust. I mean it's my least favorite part (I eat off the crust first to get it outta the way), but it's still perfectly fine. Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin? No, but I really would like to do that one day. What flavour cake you you like most? I really enjoy chocolate lava cake as well as red velvet. Depends on what I'm feelin' at that moment. Are you self-conscious about wearing "short shorts" in the summer? Even when I had a fit body, I wasn't comfortable doing that. Do you see a lot of stray animals around your home? No, but it's funny I get this question now when Girt noticed a stray cat outside our door a couple days back. We don't see that a lot. When you’re being grounded, what is usually taken away from you? It was always computer privileges. What is your most commonly used nickname for your best friend? Well, technically "Girt." Everyone else in his life either calls him Donald or Junior. How tall is the last person you kissed? Exactly 6'. Do you enjoy dried fruit? NO. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My boyfriend's. Who in your house smokes? Nobody. Who wears glasses in your house? Are they near-sighted or far-sighted? I always do; I'm near-sighted. My mom has reading glasses and is far-sighted. What kind of hot beverage do you drink the most? Hot chocolate. What kind of plants do you have in your house? How often are they watered? Mom actually has some succulents in this spare room by the window. That's all I know. Who in your family has the longest hair? How long is yours? My younger sister Nicole; she has a mane, ha ha. Mine is like, boy-short; it doesn't even touch the back of my neck since I got it trimmed. The last time you went out, what shoes did you wear? Flipflops... like always. What books (if any) have you read more than once? Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari (BUT I skipped Tim's outrageously long tangents that had nothing to do with the meerkats in later reads) and Because of Winn-Dixie. There MAY be others, but it's quite unlikely; I've never been much of a re-reader except as a little kid with children's books, obvs. What professional teams do you and/or your family root for? My dad is into the Carolina Hurricanes, Carolina Panthers, and Cleveland Browns. Ryder likes the last two too because of Grampa, ha ha. Maybe Nick likes them too, idr. How many pillows are on the bed you sleep in? I have two on my side and I keep Girt's two there too. Do you know any TV shows’ theme songs by heart? Which ones? Ha ha quite a lot honestly when you consider how little I watch TV, like That '70s Show, The Golden Girls, Supernatural (I loved "Carry On My Wayward Son" way before the show), OBVIOUSLY shit like Spongebob ha ha, and I KNOW there are more, but I'm blanking. What is a fashion trend (new or old) that you absolutely hate? Crocs. They're just ugly. What is the oldest gaming system you’ve ever played? An Atari, actually. We might still have that thing somewhere...

#survey #surveys #random questions #random surveys

[bubblyhoney]

buncha kisses

warnings: mature language, Good music mention, slight suggestive content, lotta name calling!, basically just fluff

tags: sapnap x fem!reader (a continuation of [renamed from “a collection of moments at the beginning of your relationship”] win for me, basically, with college!au)

words: 1447

A/N: a very sweet anon requested a continuation of college!au with sappy and had some great ideas for me! i love when you guys interact and talk with me pls continue to do so! been receiving a lot of really encouraging attention from some of my favorite people (ahem, for example @strawberrymilkgeorge [among others] <3) so i just wanted to say thanks for that :)

-

It’s a sticky day in May.

It’s that kind of hot that irritates under the skin and works its way through the hair on your arms. Makes you want to either rip your skin off or sink into a pool full of ice.

May is a month that Florida doesn’t take very well; it’s either raining like it’s the Great Flood, or hot as a mosquito’s ball sack.

And to make matters worse, it’s the due date of a huge calculus project. Like— weighted heavier than the final kind of huge.

You’d gotten up three hours before your final at 9 just to cram. Your desk was littered with folders, chapter notes, and highlighters dull with use. A half-eaten bagel was off to the side, staling by the second.

That was before your AC broke. Yup. Broke. Ka-put. Just full on died—it was almost audible. Your roommate had stumbled into your room, face creased with sleep, and cursed for thirty seconds straight.

Completely understandable, actually.

But you didn’t have time to fret about the damn temperature. You just took your shirt off, kicked the box fan near your bed into the highest gear, and breathed hot anger down into your notes.

The only relief you would find would be lunch with Sapnap after your final. His apartment had air conditioning, and he was surprisingly deft with a knife and cutting board. Dude didn’t know how to figure the mechanics for emailing his film class project to you that one time last semester but could whip up a Greek salad and broiled chicken like no other. Your own little Gordon Ramsey.

He was yours now, officially. As of last month he was yours. A month full of drive-in movies, failed study dates, and an absurd amount of McFlurry’s.

And that’s what is waiting for you in Sapnap’s cup holder when you swing your way into his car with an exasperated look on your face. You just melt, eyes flicking up to his gratefully and silently taking it.

“How was the final?” He lays a hand on the gear shifter and nudges the AC up one more tick. The door closes behind you and you shuffle your legs apart, leg hair tingling in this heat.

“It was fucking brutal. I think I developed an ulcer just looking at the reference page,” you huff and he just shakes his head, laugh hot on his lips. “Absolutely not worth the studying—think I got a good grade, though.”

“Well, that’s cool. I’m proud of you.” The engine chugs to life when he shifts into drive and starts for the side street.

“Thanks.” Your cheeks blush ever so lightly but you pass it off to the heat. A moment passes. “So.” The straw makes a choking noise as it nudges at the bottom of an empty cup. Jesus, you finished that fast. “What’s on the menu for today?” Brandy’s Sunny Day lilts softly into the blasting air as you settle into a comfortable conversation, schoolwork at the back of your mind.

“Thinking of making banana chocolate chip muffins and pigging on those. Thoughts?” Flicking on his left turn signal with his left hand, the right slides onto your knee.

It’s never too hot for that.

“Sounds perfect,” you reply, voice small in a sudden bout of shyness. He double-takes with a smile, squeezing once at your leg.

Pigging is a perfect term for what you two do the second those muffins are out of the oven; it is too easy to shove three of those in a matter of seconds. Bellies full and in a sugar coma, you two lay under the whirring of his living room’s fan and stare up at the ceiling.

“This feels so good,” he mumbles, eyes half-lidded. Reaching a hand out, he pats his way to your hand and takes it, immediately squeezing it. “Wish you were kissing me right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” You taunt and hike a leg up onto his hips, swinging onto his lap and leaning to get your lips near his.

And that’s that.

The night is perfect.

Sapnap ushered you into his car at midnight and within four minutes you were on a US freeway with your head out the window. Like a dog.

A lone bird flies past in the dark air and you watch it swing into a patch of trees. You just close your eyes and breathe.

The stress literally melts. Melts into a puddle and drips out of you, falling onto the black pavement whipping past at a moment’s notice. School is a bitch already, much less an American college education. Grades and tests and professors and GPA’s and all that.

You swear Logan Lerman’s character knew what he was talking about when he said “we were infinite” in The Perks of Being A Wallflower. That’s what this feels like: infinity. Going 70 in a car driven by your hunk of a boyfriend, feeling the wind in your hair and the taste of midnight in between your teeth.

The inside of the car feels sweet when you duck your head back in, smile wide and hair crazy and a content look in your eyes. Sapnap gives you a glance before looking back at the road nonchalantly and lifting to curl and twitch two fingers at you. You instinctively move forward, eyebrows drawn together in curiosity. Three fingers grip your jaw tight, and then his mouth is on yours as the chorus of The King swells through the speakers. You only get two seconds to hum in happiness and slide a hand up his chest before he’s pulling away and has those beautiful eyes back on the road.

“You’re mean to me,” you sigh, and settle back into your seat with a ‘hmph’. He just looks smug. Bastard.

The nights Sapnap plays video games with his friends are—hm. Definitely something. You like to let him have those nights with no distractions most of the time; and you’re categorized as a distraction by the amount of times he “lags” when giving you a kiss or getting you on his lap.

Tonight, he got off work early and on the drive home called and asked if you’d come over and sit with him while he Robloxes with his friends. (“It’s like you can’t go one day without your hands on me,” you’d teased, but he couldn’t say a thing in response. You were right, needless to say.) “You can bring your paints!” he’d even added, knowing you like to watercolor as a hobby. You weren’t necessarily Etsy-worthy but it was fun and a stress-reliever.

And so here you were. Legs crossed, sketch pad in your lap, watching your adult boyfriend yell so loud that his voice cracks and breaks with every change of tone. You really had to remember to apologize to his neighbors…

“Baby—,” Sapnap starts, swinging around in his chair to hit you with a look so pouty his lip was in danger of falling off. “My dear girlfriend. My lovely woman.” His question doesn’t even need to be asked— he wants you to go get him a drink.

“You’re a misogynist. I’m calling NOW on you.” But you’re already heaving yourself off of his mattress and heading into the hallway, faux-annoyed look on your face. It melts into a smile upon seeing that little canvas mounted on the wall next to the door to his bathroom. It was a haphazard portrait of his parent’s dog Bowser that you’d drawn the few days his step-mom forced him to bring you home over spring break.

When you return to his room a few minutes later with a Bang and a couple of snacks for yourself, Sapnap has his headphones off and is swinging his feet in his chair like a child waiting for their parents to pick them up from school. You approach him, apprehensive smile on your face, and hand his drink over.

“Thank you,” he drawls, mid-yawn, and sets it down on the desk. Snaking an arm around your waist, he drags you between his legs and stuffs his face into your shirt. He inhales deeply but pulls away after a pause, hands tight on your abdomen. You press a thumb into his cheek and rub fondly at his facial hair, watching the way his eyes close calmly and relax.

“You’re so cute it causes me physical pain,” is all you get out before leaning and pressing a kiss square on his pink lips. They move against yours like they were meant to, one hand sliding up the material of your shirt and onto your warm skin.

“You smell like Subway,” he murmurs, and then the moment’s over.

Typical.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. :D let me know what you think in the comments!

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x reader #sapnap x fem!reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap fic #sapnap one shot #sapnap oneshot #mcyt imagine #mcyt x you #bubblyhoneyfics

[poisonedapples]

Patton’s Home for Traumatized Kids

Chapter One: The New Kid

Story Summary: Roman has to have a completely new start. New school, new town, new home and a new family. As a kid in his first foster home, Roman isn’t prepared to trust these people and get hurt again, but he’s not the only kid in the house recovering from past issues. Regardless, their foster father Patton is ready to be the dad they’ve always needed, and traumatized kids learn to lean on each other for support.

Story Warnings: Past abuse of all types, trauma, and anxiety

Pairings: Familial LAMP

Chapter Summary: Roman moves into his new foster home. He is not having a good time.

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety, panic, implied past abuse, food, one vomiting mention, and talk of hidden cameras

Word Count: 6778

Notes: First chapter of a story I’ve wanted to make for my foster au! Thanks to Cornybird on Ao3 for beta-ing this one <3

“Logan, Virgil?” Patton called out from downstairs. “Can you come down here? I wanna talk about something with you!”

Virgil and Logan gave each other curious looks from their sitting places on the same bed. Virgil placed his phone on the nightstand beside him as Logan set his book down at the foot of the bed, both standing up to exit Virgil’s bedroom and head downstairs. At the dining room table was their foster father, Patton, smiling wide with a laptop and notepad in front of him.

“What’s up?” Virgil asked after he and Logan glanced at each other. 

Patton giggled to himself, “Sit down for a second and I’ll tell you! Nothing bad, promise. I think it’s very exciting.”

They quickly sat at the table on the other side of Patton. “So,” Patton joked, “I bet you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today!”

Logan and Virgil spoke in unison. “You’re getting another foster kid.”

Patton blinked. “…How’d you guess it?”

“You’ve been really happy recently, but also very quiet about why you were so happy. You only get like this when you’re bringing another foster kid into the mix. You did the same thing when Logan came along.” Virgil said.

Logan nodded. “Virgil told me about his suspicions due to your behavior, and I agreed with him. I think we both expected you’d make the announcement soon.”

“Oh.” Patton rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I didn’t think it was that easy to tell. Well, you guessed right! The new kiddo is moving in on Sunday!”

Logan leaned closer. “What’s their name?”

“His name is Roman Goldsberry. He’s fifteen, and he’s only been in the system for about five months. Though, before this, he was in kinship care with his aunt, so living here is going to be very strange for him. So just be patient with him at first, okay?”

“Yeah yeah, we will be.” Virgil smirked. “But you said he was fifteen?”

“Yup! He’ll be a sophomore in high school this year.”

“Aw, that means Logan’s still the baby in the family.”

Logan blushed. “I’m a teenager. I am not the so-called ‘baby’ of the family.”

“Sounds like something the baby of the family would say.”

“Falsehood!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Patton tried not to laugh. He knew how much Logan hated being the youngest, but it was hard to act like his reaction wasn’t funny. “Remember, Roman will be here Sunday, so be on your best behavior when he gets here. No spooking him.”

“Got it, got it.” Virgil slouched in his chair and thought. “One more question though. How fucked up is he?”

“Virgil, language.” Patton warned.

“Sorry! It’s just a question. We know you have a soft spot for the most effed up kids you can find.”

“I would have to say I’m curious as well.” Logan agreed. “It’s become a pattern.”

Patton sighed. “He’s not messed up, he’s a kid who’s struggling and needs support. If he wants to tell you two about his past, then he will.”

Virgil groaned. “Fine, fine. Can we go back upstairs now?”

Patton smiled. “Yes, you can go.”

“Great! I’m stealing your book, Logan.”

“Wait, you can’t do that!”

Virgil darted back upstairs with a maniacal laugh as Logan chased him, the sound of bickering teenagers traveling back up the stairs. Patton shook his head in amusement, still listening to the ruckus in case it got out of hand and he needed to step in, but Patton knew his kids. They may tease, but they’re not mean.

Patton continued working on his laptop once the noise quieted down again.

***

“I hate this.”

“I know you do, Roman, but I’m certain you can persevere and find happiness in this new home!” Roman’s social worker, Mr. Picani, smiled hopefully as he continued to drive him to his foster home. Roman was scooted as close to the window as he could possibly get, his legs crossed and clamped together so tight his thighs were getting sore. He didn’t trust Picani, and he sure as hell didn’t trust this new house. No matter what anyone told him.

“I already had a home! Living with my aunt was so much better than whatever could happen here.” Roman’s hands shook just thinking about it. He didn’t know anything about this new person, and the idea of being in a house full of strangers was enabling the more gruesome side of his imagination. He trusted his aunt, at least, but now he was going to a family who could be anyone.

Roman didn’t like the idea of that.

Picani frowned. “You know why your aunt couldn’t house you anymore, Roman. I know it’s not easy, but I think you’ll like this new place! It’s more up north in Foley County, and the area is nice. He also has two other foster children if that helps.”

“How old are the other kids?”

“Fourteen and sixteen, I think. You’ll get to know them more during your time there.”

Roman hummed, looking out the window and digging his nails into his shirt sleeve. He really hoped this foster dad hadn’t touched them before. Even forgetting about himself, a fourteen year old kid having to deal with abuse? Even after getting away from bad parents? He didn’t wish that on anyone.

“And if you ever feel unsafe,” Picani added, “you can always contact me, ‘kay?”

I already feel unsafe. “Okay. How much longer until we’re there?”

“About twenty more minutes. Just enough time to finish the rest of the Tangled movie soundtrack!”

Roman didn’t respond. Normally, he’d love to have a Disney soundtrack he could burst into song with, but he wasn’t feeling it today. And probably wouldn’t be feeling it for a long time.

He just wanted to feel safe. He felt safe with his aunt, but she couldn’t afford to keep him long after the trial since she gave birth to the twins. His aunt was always one of his favorite relatives, one of the few adults he genuinely trusted, now he was going to the house of some random guy named Patton, who he’d only heard of yesterday, and expected to be okay near him. Well, he wasn’t okay. And he wasn’t going to be, ever.

Roman leaned his head on the window and closed his eyes. His hands still shook a little and his chest felt weird, but fighting it now was pointless. Roman just hoped that if this guardian did try something, he’d do it quickly. The sooner Roman told on him to save himself and the other kids, the better.

Though, Roman still felt his hands tingle at the thought. The idea of “getting it over with” made him want to scream and cry. He wrapped his legs tighter together.

After a long time of trying to fight against his own anxious thoughts, Picani pulled into a driveway and stopped the car and Roman opened his eyes to take a look at where they were. He didn’t know the neighborhood, but it seemed like Picani was telling the truth when he said the neighborhood was nice. The house seemed huge, big bushes and flower patches in the front yard and a nice outside paint job. It looked like a house that a functional nuclear family would have, where the dad is a doctor and the mom stays at home with the kids.

Well, looks can be deceiving. Roman thought. Don’t get your hopes up.

“Here we are!” Picani unbuckled his seatbelt with a wide smile. “Grab your suitcases in the back, I’ll knock on the door.”

Roman nodded and got out of the car as Picani popped the trunk. He grabbed two red suitcases and a backpack, closing the car and wheeling it all up to the front door. Picani was there talking to a guy who Roman assumed must be Patton Sanders, and by taking just one look at him…Roman had never seen a person look so much like a dad.

 He was wearing khaki shorts and a light blue polo with tennis shoes and knee socks, thick-rimmed glasses sitting on his face to finish off the dorky look. Patton managed to pull it off, sure, but Roman felt a primal urge from binge-watching Queer Eye to fix that mess of an outfit. 

Before Roman could truly take in the fact that Patton’s knee socks also had kittens on them, Patton smiled wide once he saw Roman in the corner of his eye. “Hello, Roman! It’s so nice to have you, come on in you two!”

Patton stepped aside to hold out the door as Picani and Roman both walked in. Roman scraped his arm on the door frame trying to keep a reasonable distance from Patton, but neither of the adults seemed to notice how Roman was acting. Patton kept smiling away, and Roman tried to see how real that smile truly was. “So, Mr. Picani, I know I have some things to go over with you, so how would you feel if the other kiddos showed you around the house, Roman?”

…Kiddos? “That sounds fine to me.”

“Perfect!” Patton walked over to the staircase and called upstairs. “Logan, Virgil! Can you come down here please?”

Patton’s request was quickly followed by the sound of doors opening and closing. Two kids walked down the stairs; a boy in a black and purple hoodie, and another boy with thick glasses almost the same as Patton’s. They both stared at Roman curiously, and Roman wanted to sink into the floor.

Patton placed an arm over Logan and Virgil’s shoulders and Roman winced at the sight. “So, kiddos, this is Roman! And Roman, this is Logan,” Patton pointed to the kid in glasses. “And Virgil!” He pointed to the kid with the hoodie. The boys didn’t react much besides an awkward half smile directed Roman’s way. “How about you both show him around while I talk to Mr. Picani?”

Virgil shrugged. “Come upstairs, dude.”

Patton let go of both of the boys and walked off into the kitchen with Picani. Roman watched them from the living room for a moment, but he could feel two pairs of eyes staring at him from behind, so he turned around and followed the kids upstairs, bringing his luggage with him.

At the top of the stairs, a long hallway connected six doors on the second floor. Four of the doors were plain, brown doors, but two of them had very distinct personalities shown on the outside. One was covered in stars and planets, the door covered in a starry piece of wallpaper with a metal planet popping out of the background. The other was covered in caution tape saying keep out, with emo band posters poking out from under the tape. Two very different personalities.

“Your room will be this one at the very end of the hallway.” Logan opened the door to the room, turning on the light as Roman peeked inside. “You can place your luggage in here in the meantime.”

Roman nodded and walked inside to throw his luggage onto the floor. The room was very bare, with brown sheets on a twin bed and not much other furniture besides a desk and a dresser. There was a lamp on the desk and a floor lamp next to a door, and one of the opened closet doors showed that the top was covered in random boxes. Some newer-looking stuffed animals were also sitting on the bed; a soft bear and one of those squishy stuffed chickens Roman always saw in stores. It looked like an attempt at a welcoming gift, but new stuffed animals always put Roman on edge. He looked around the room, and the idea of sleeping here made Roman’s heart start to pound. He needed to check this place before he went to sleep that night.

Virgil smirked, taking Roman away from his anxious thoughts. “Damn, you’ve got suitcases? Living the fancy life I see.”

“…What?” Roman reeled.

Logan adjusted his glasses and crossed his arms. “Most foster children move their things using garbage bags. It’s rare we use actual suitcases.”

Roman looked down at his luggage. Suddenly, he felt guilty. “Oh, well…my aunt gave them to me before I moved out, so…”

Virgil shrugged. “What do you wanna see up here first?”

“We could show him our rooms. Or possibly the attic?”

“The attic is cooler.”

“What’s in the attic?” Roman asked.

“It essentially acts as a playroom.” Logan explained. “Board games and a…random assortment of items are all piled up there. It’s quite entertaining to search through, actually.”

“And it’s in the best place ever, come here.” Virgil motioned for Roman and Logan to follow him. He stopped at one of the doors, opening it and letting Roman peek over his shoulder to look inside. It looked like a normal walk-in closet, first aid and toilet paper on one side with batteries and rows of shampoo on the other. Virgil walked in with a smirk, “Now, check this shit out.”

Virgil jumped and pulled on a string dangling from the roof, unraveling a steep staircase through the closet leading up to a hole in the roof. Virgil started to climb the stairs as Logan followed suit, so Roman climbed right after them.

When Roman made it to the top, his eyes widened with wonder. Granted, it wasn’t anything too spectacular, surely not like something in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but the fact that this hidden space existed made Roman feel excited. At his old house, he barely even had his own room to himself, so a place like this was paradise.

The walls were painted white with a giant window above a sitting area on the other side of the room. Shelves of items scattered the walls, and the rug on the floor was so clean Roman wondered how they even got a vacuum up here. It wasn’t anything like his old attic, stuffed with random items from over the years and covered in spiderwebs. Roman felt like he could spend most of his day here.

“We have a lot of various toys up here.” Logan said. He gestured to the boxes on one of the shelves. “Pokémon cards, a chess set, Magic the Gathering, lots of Lego sets, craft supplies, most of our toys make their way up here.”

Roman’s head perked up. “…Craft supplies?”

Logan nodded. “I believe we have paints and drawing utensils.”

Roman looked at the bottom of the shelf Logan gestured toward. There was a box of small painting canvases with paints and brushes, and though they definitely looked cheap, Roman saw them and grew excited as he took out a canvas and the paints in wonder.

“Kiddos!” A voice yelled from the staircase. Logan and Roman walked over to the stairs to look down, but Virgil stayed in his place on a beanbag near the window. Patton and Picani stood at the bottom, and Patton smiled. “Now, what are you all doing up there?”

“We’re showing him around the house.” Logan said matter-of-factly.

“You are, huh?” Patton crossed his arms. “Does he know where the bathroom is?”

Logan blinked. Virgil called out from behind both of them. “He knows where the important things are!”

Patton tried not to smile, but he lost that battle quickly. “Well, Mr. Picani is leaving right now, Roman.”

“How ‘bout you come down here and I talk to you in private for a sec?” Picani asked.

“Uh, alright!” Roman climbed down the stairs and followed Picani out of the closet, while Patton climbed up the stairs into the attic. They both stepped away to the other side of the hallway, and suddenly Picani’s face became very serious.

“Do you feel safe in this house, Roman?” He asked.

Roman clenched his fist and bit his cheek. No, he didn’t, actually. He didn’t know what Patton would do once the coast was clear from guests, and the idea of what could happen was freezing him from the inside out. The only place Roman would feel truly safe was if he was back in the hospital.

But Roman knew that wasn’t possible, and he couldn’t keep bothering Picani all the time for fears that couldn't be helped. He had to be on his own. Alone.

“I think I do. They…seem like good people.” Roman lied. He’d have to find another way to survive.

Picani smiled, not noticing Roman’s unease. He always was a great actor. “Amazing! Let me know if anything comes up, bucko, and I’ll talk to ya again soon! But until then…so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodnight!”

Picani walked downstairs and waved behind him, laughing at his own reference as he walked out the door. Roman watched him from the staircase until he could see the car leaving the driveway through the window, and Roman felt truly hopeless. This was a nightmare.

He stood frozen on the staircase for a while, staring through the window with a hope of Picani turning back and saving him. But no car came into the driveway, and Roman didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. What do you even do when living in a house full of strangers?

“Heya, kiddo!” Roman jumped at the voice coming from behind him, jerking his head back and pushing his back up against the wall. It was Patton, smiling wide with a concerned look in his eyes at Roman’s reaction. “I’m sorry, Roman, I didn’t mean to scare you! I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to give you the rest of the tour. I’ll show you everything you need this time!”

Patton laughed at himself, but Roman felt the need to vomit. Patton was close, way too close, and he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t want to be roaming around the house with him, vulnerable and nowhere to hide. He needed to be somewhere safe.

“Uh, no, I’m fine! I’ll figure it out myself!” Patton raised an eyebrow at him, but Roman didn’t care. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Patton’s voice became softer. He pointed to the left of him, down the opposite direction of Roman’s room. “It’s over there. Are you sure you’re alright? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine!” Roman darted past Patton quickly and out of reach, rushing into the bathroom and locking it behind him. He pressed his back against the door and sat down, pressing his feet against the sink, ready to fight against the door if someone tried to open it. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, trying to even out his scattered breathing. He knew Patton was outside of the door, he could feel it. He just needed to be somewhere safe.

Roman didn’t move from his spot on the floor, eventually curling into himself and resting his head on his knees. He was so tired, the whole day his heart had been pounding with anxiety and he was sick of it. What did it take to feel safe? Was it even possible for Roman to feel safe anymore?

He didn’t want an answer to that. He was just so tired.

 Roman closed his eyes and leaned his body against the bathroom wall, ignoring all his aches from the strange position and trying to give himself some comfort. His body was exhausted but his mind kept racing, thinking of all the things that could go wrong while living here. He tried to fight the anxious thoughts, but Roman figured it wasn’t that big of a deal. If he threw up in the toilet maybe they’d leave him alone for the day.

But Roman never got to that point. He rested on the floor and let his body shake, taking some deep breaths at times to feel less like he was suffocating. Eventually, a knock came to the bathroom door, and it took everything in Roman not to yelp.

“Are you still in there, Roman?” Roman could tell the voice was Logan, and that helped him relax a little more. He took in a big breath and tried to act normal.

“Yes, sorry. Do you need it?” He asked.

“I’m alright. I simply wanted to ask if you wanted to come downstairs and use the paints you seemed so interested in.”

Roman’s ears perked up at that. He forgot all about the paints, and it would be something that could ease his mind a little. But Roman wasn’t that dumb. He knew this was a plan to get him out of the bathroom. Though…he might not mind that much if he wasn’t alone.

“…Would you sit with me?” Roman asked. He doubted Patton would try anything so long as they weren’t alone together, and if he pleased them enough, maybe they’d leave him alone.

Logan was slow to respond. “I suppose I can if you wish for me to.”

Roman rolled his eyes at that sentence. What a nerd, he thought, standing up and slowly unlocking the door to the bathroom before opening it. He looked through the crack to check if Patton was standing behind Logan, but no one else was there. Logan stood there patiently with his hands clasped behind his back, and Roman fully exited the bathroom.

“I set the box on the dining room table. However, Patton is also there making a pizza for dinner.”

Roman froze. The same room as Patton? “… I’ll go, but you have to stay near me.”

Logan nodded. He led the way down the stairs while Roman followed, entering the dining room through the connected area in the living room. On the table was the box of painting supplies, and Roman ran toward them to start taking them out, trying to ignore the fact that he could see Patton in the corner of his eye. He grabbed a canvas and the cheap paints, as well as a plastic pallet and all the brushes. All that he needed was a cup of water, but…the sink was right next to where Patton was.

Roman drummed his fingers on the table. “…Logan, can you get me a cup of water?”

“Alright.” Logan stood up and grabbed a cup from the cupboard, filling it with water and handing it to Roman. Roman murmured a thank you, and Logan sat back down at his seat. He was grateful that Logan didn’t ask why Roman couldn’t get it himself.

“So, Roman,” Roman stiffened at the sound of Patton’s voice. “Are you an artsy kid?”

Roman gripped hard onto his paints, squirting out a lot more orange than he meant to. “I guess, yeah. I like art.”

“Do you like to paint, or are you more of a sketchy kinda guy?”

“Uh…all of it. Painting, drawing, coloring, I used to make a lot of stuffed animals too.”

“Awww, that sounds adorable!” The oven beeped and Patton put on his oven gloves and pulled out the pizza. “It’s probably best I don’t know how to make stuffed animals though. If I did, this house would be full of little stuffed puppies!”

Roman didn’t respond. He focused completely on mixing red and orange for a perfect sunset color, attempting to get a good gradient with the lack of shade variety. Once he filled in his sunset and blended it with a dark night sky, he mixed his white with a dot of gray and made darker clouds, dotting them above his rough-looking hill. He wanted to add more texture to the bottom of the canvas, maybe some trees, but he didn’t know how to make good ones without a fan brush. Maybe he could add some grass…

“Alright, the pizza is cooled down and ready!” Roman noticed Patton put a plate next to his painting, so he pushed all his supplies out of the way so he could eat. Patton set down more plates around the table as Virgil walked in. “It was a real pizza work if I do say so myself!”

Logan rolled his eyes and Virgil held back a snort, but Roman didn’t quite know how to react. He might have found the dad joke more amusing if he wasn’t so on edge.

Roman took a bite of the pizza. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just a store-bought one that you heat up in the oven and serve, but Roman didn’t realize he was so hungry until now. He had skipped lunch because his nerves about coming here were making his stomach churn, but finally having food near him was bringing back that hunger. Roman’s foot was still tapping violently under the table, but it was progress.

Everyone ate their pizza in silence. It was incredibly awkward on Roman’s end, no stories to tell as this table full of strangers kept making glances at him. Patton was the worst with it. He seemed to want to say something to Roman, continuously making eye contact with him until Roman looked away, but still not saying a word. He couldn’t take it. He hated it, but he hated this silence even more. Roman swallowed the pizza bite he was chewing and opened his mouth.

“So,” Roman started, “what do I…call you anyway?”

“Me?” Patton asked, his eyes lighting up. Why would his eyes light up at that?

“Yeah. Do I say Mr. Sanders, or…?”

“Oh, Patton works just fine! I hear Mr. Sanders way too often at work to wanna hear it at home too!”

“Oh, where- where do you work?” At least it wasn’t so quiet anymore.

“I’m a nurse practitioner for a clinic. It’s a lot of fun, just a lot of work. At least my hours aren’t as crazy as most nurses.”

“Oh that’s…cool.” Roman didn’t know how to continue off of that.

“It is! Is there anything else you wanna ask me, though? Maybe about the house, routines, anything?”

“Well…what are the rules here?” That seemed like a very safe question to have. It could save Roman a lot of trouble, and it could give him more of a read on the kind of parent Patton was.

“Oh, it’s not that much. You’re old enough to clean up after yourself, so make it a habit to pick up your own things and not put that stuff on other people. Be kind to everyone else, and the only rule I’m very strict about is no yelling. You can be loud sometimes, but no angry yelling at anybody here. The last one is to respect others’ privacy. Always knock on someone’s bedroom door before entering. But that’s really it, I think!”

How often do you break that last rule? “That seems reasonable, I suppose.”

Patton smiled. “I think you’ll do just fine here, kiddo. I know it’s hard to start over, but you won’t be alone during it!”

“…Thank you.”

“And I’m sure Virgil and Logan could help out a little bit, since they’ve been in the same situation! Right, you two?”

Virgil was halfway through trying to stick a whole piece of crust in his mouth. “…Uh huh.”

“…Virgil, chew your food.”

“Lo’an ‘old me I cou’ do it!”

“Do not drag me into this.”

Virgil hid his mouth behind his hand as he chewed for a long period of time. “You’re just avoiding your responsibility.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m finished, so try not to choke now.”

“Now I’m gonna choke just to spite you.”

“Please do not start a choking contest, Virge.”

Virgil groaned before swallowing the last of his crust. He followed Logan to the dishwasher and put his plate in, closing it and scurrying away back upstairs. Logan hesitated leaving the dining room, looking between Patton and Roman. Roman couldn’t tell if Patton noticed Logan’s hesitation or if it was just perfect timing, because he also got up and put his plate in the dishwasher.

“When you finish, Roman, just put your dishes away.”

“I can do that.”

Patton smiled and walked off into the living room, sitting on the couch to watch some TV show seemingly about cute puppies and kittens. Logan glanced at Roman again.

“Do you still want me to stay?” Logan asked.

Roman ate the last of his pizza and pushed his plate to the side, grabbing his painting again to put in front of him. It was the most effective thing at calming him down. “…No, I should be okay.”

Logan nodded and walked upstairs. Roman tried to fully immerse himself in his painting, focusing on every last detail and how he could make it better without over-detailing it. Roman put more green on his brush and started to dot at his hill on the bottom, trying to add little blades of textured grass. It was a long process, just enough to take the majority of his focus and calm his hands.

…Roman felt really weird here. It didn’t feel like he lived in this house, now. It felt like he was spending the day with some friends, and his aunt would come pick him up before the sun went down. But no, these new kids were his foster brothers and the adult he was terrified of was expected to act as his new dad. There was no one coming to save him, he was expected to sleep here and eat here and live here. This was supposed to be his safe space.

Roman rubbed at his eyes and shook his head. Don’t focus on that now, he thought. Focus on the painting.

So he did focus. He focused on monotonous texture additions and watching the paint dry on his canvas as he went along, letting the repetitive action calm his mind just a little bit. His calming method seemed to be working too well, actually, as the more details he added and stared at the paint, Roman realized that his constant panic today had completely exhausted him. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet and Roman could feel his eyelids get heavier. He rubbed at his eyes again and tried to focus.

Roman yawned once. He yawned twice and rubbed his eyes as he kept adding minor details to his painting. Then, after a while, Roman scooted his painting to the side and laid his head down on the table.

***

“…Roman, wake up, please.”

Roman buried his head deeper in his arms. “Come on Roman, it’s late.”

Roman groggily lifted his head up. Patton was sitting in the chair across from him, the lights were all off except for the one light above the dining table. Roman looked around him, and noticed that it was dark outside now. Shit.

“You fell asleep, but that’s okay. It’s bedtime now, and the other two are already in bed, so how about you go get ready and sleep in your bed? I bet it’s comfier than the table.”

Roman dug his palm into his eye. “…What time is it…?”

“About 10:20. You all have bedtime at ten.”

“…But I’m fifteen?” Roman gave Patton a confused and sleepy look. He hasn’t had a bedtime since he was twelve, especially one that was so early. His mom only told him to be in bed by midnight.

Patton smiled. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Logan is the only one who needs a bedtime, but I don’t want him to feel left out because he’s the only one asleep. So, how about you get ready for bed?”

Roman nodded and got out of his chair. The more he walked, the more he woke up, and he could tell by the time he went back upstairs that he wasn’t going to go back to sleep for a while since he could feel his heartbeat in his chest again. Patton followed him upstairs, turning off the dining room light as they went. Roman got his bathroom bag out from his smaller suitcase and a cotton shirt with sweatpants for pajamas, bringing it all with him to the bathroom. He closed the door as he brushed his teeth for the night, placing his bag in the bottom drawer after he did. He changed into his pajamas carefully, taking the towel on one of the racks to hide his lower half under as he switched pants, taking his other clothes and throwing them into a laundry basket.

When Roman stepped out of the bathroom, Patton was leaning against a wall waiting for him. He smiled at Roman, but Roman still ran past him to get as far away as he could get. Patton didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care. Roman shifted on his feet awkwardly before closing his door.

“Um…goodnight.” He finally said. Patton seemed satisfied with this.

“Goodnight, Roman.”

Roman finally closed the door to his bedroom, waiting until he heard the door on the other end of the hallway open and close. Almost immediately after, as if another force was controlling him, Roman started to tear the place apart.

He checked the charging ports in the walls, the lamp, under the bed’s covers and behind every piece of furniture. He stood on top of his suitcase to check the vents and took out all the drawers in the dresser. He punched the stuffed animals to see if he could feel wires, but he still couldn’t find it. He couldn’t find it.

Roman felt himself start to pant. He refused to go to bed until he found it. No matter how well hidden it was, Roman knew there was a camera in here. He couldn’t stop until he found it.

Roman grabbed the boxes at the top of the closet and tossed everything out of them, checking every spare blanket and binder before throwing them across the room when he found nothing. He took the hangers out of the closet and threw them on the floor, shining his phone light on the wall of the closet to find a hole. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Tears sprung into Roman’s eyes as he choked on his own breath. “Where the hell is it!?” He whispered, slamming the closet door closed and moving to check the bed. He tore the bedsheets off and checked the mattress, lifting it up as well to check the bed frame for anything that could be used to record. Nothing.

“Come on, please-” Roman took out the drawer from the bedside table. Nothing. He unscrewed the lightbulb from the lamp, almost shattering it from his tight grip. Nothing. He threw the lamp onto the bed and kicked the nightstand over. Nothing.

Roman choked out a sob as his whole body started to shake. This wasn’t fair, he spent all that time trying to get away from his dad only to end up in a place that hid cameras better than him. Roman gripped the covers he’d thrown and punched the floor next to them, the ache being an almost pleasant distraction from his own head. But his mind continued to race and his crying didn’t let up. The only thing Roman could manage to get out of his mouth was “No, no!”

Then, between Roman’s sobbing, he heard a knock at the door.

Roman froze in place. A feeling of dread spread through his chest and made his fingers go numb. For a second, Roman forgot to breathe as he remembered he forgot to lock the door.

Roman’s body was stiff, but his mind was going a mile a minute in a desperate attempt to save himself. He could hide in the closet, but since he tore everything out of there, if someone opened the door they’d immediately find him. He could hide under the bed, but without the covers to reach the floor it was easy to see he was under there. Roman choked on his own breath when he realized there was nowhere to hide-

“Roman?” The knock came back to the door, gentler than the first time. It wasn’t Patton’s voice like Roman feared, it was Virgil. Raspy and tired-sounding, but without a doubt Virgil.

“Y-yeah?” Roman squeaked out.

“Uh, can I…can I come in?”

Roman’s death grip on the covers loosened up slightly. “Yes…”

Virgil slowly turned the doorknob and opened it, slipping in through the smallest crack and closing the door slowly so it wouldn’t click. Once he was inside, Virgil’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of the destroyed room. “…Holy shit dude.”

Roman tried to dodge the situation, “What do you want?”

“I was gonna come in here and make a joke, like, ‘quiet down it sounds like a tornado is going through here’, but now I think I predicted the fucking future.” Roman put his head down as Virgil looked around in shock. “What the fuck happened?”

Roman wiped away his tears with the palm of his hands, digging into his eyes so hard he saw stars for a moment. “…There’s a camera in here.”

Virgil backed up more towards the door. “Wait, there is?” He darted his eyes around the room looking for what Roman was talking about. Roman let out a shaky breath.

“I haven’t found it yet, but I know it’s in here somewhere!” More tears went down Roman’s face as he hugged himself. Virgil seemed to realize what Roman was babbling on about. “I know Patton put a camera in here for me and I’m freaking out because I can’t find it!”

Virgil looked around at the mess again. He sighed. “I’m not good at this shit…you’re certain it’s in here?”

“Yes!”

“Hey, hey, don’t yell.” Virgil warned. “Pat and Logan are still asleep and I don’t think you’d like all that extra attention right now.”

He was right. If Logan and Patton came in here, Roman didn’t know what he’d do about it. It was the last thing he wanted, so Roman obeyed. “I just…I don’t know what to do…I can’t sleep until I find it.”

Virgil seemed to be thinking. He tugged on the neck of his pajama shirt before speaking. “How about we both make a deal?”

Roman lifted his head up to look at Virgil. “…Deal?”

“We’ll trade rooms for the night. There wouldn’t be a camera in my room if he’s trying to watch you, right?”

Roman paused. “…What if he’s watching you too?”

“I’ve lived here for two years. You think I wouldn’t have noticed a camera in my room by now?”

Roman thought about it. He did have a point, it was hard to go that long without finding the camera. Or at least, have your guardian have it slip that they’ve been watching you. And anything was better than staying in this place.

“…We can trade. Thanks.”

Virgil shrugged. “You know where my room is. Just slip in and don’t wreck all my shit.”

Roman laughed a little bit at that one. Virgil grabbed the sheets and covers off the floor and began to remake the bed as Roman grabbed his backpack and started to slowly open the door. But before he left, Roman had to say one more thing for his own piece of mind. “…Don’t touch my suitcases. I-I’ll know if you do.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. “…I won’t.”

Roman opened the door and softly closed it behind him, slipping into the room next door covered in caution tape. He turned on the light and set his backpack down on the floor, looking around him at all the things that showed Virgil’s personality. Emo band posters covered the walls that were painted a dark purple, with dark wood furniture and Hot Topic decorations all over the place. Just looking at this room told him how angsty this kid was.

Roman shook it off and unzipped his backpack. He could deal with angsty decorations for the night, so long as this place could be safe from creeps. He took out his secret weapon from his backpack, something he secretly bought behind his aunt’s back with his babysitting money, the one item that made him feel secure in a home. He pulled out the security bar, locked Virgil’s door, and placed it under the door handle. Even if someone undid the lock, they wouldn’t be able to sneak inside while he was sleeping.

Roman’s heart calmed down a little for the first time in weeks. Even if it wasn’t much, he felt safe, maybe even safe enough to get some rest for once. Roman crawled into Virgil’s bed, covering himself in his very tasteful Jack Skellington covers, and tried to rest.

Roman’s hands still shook, and his head felt funny, but he eventually drifted off into a light sleep full of anxiety and nightmares.

#ts roman #ts logan #ts virgil #ts patton #thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #emile picani #panic #implied past abuse #foster au #familial lamp #familial prinxiety #familial royality #lamp #Prinxiety #royality

[breanime]

His Vows (with Bonus Boy)

Pure fluff ahead!

Billy Russo: Never in a million years did Billy ever think he’d be marrying someone--much less someone he actually loved. Affection, loyalty, vulnerability, those things that were required for love came hard to him. And yet, with you, he felt them. Looking at you made him feel incredibly strong and somehow especially weak, like he could take on the world, but only if you were by his side. The orphan in him wanted to spend thousands on your wedding, wanted to make a statement, a declaration for everyone to see. But the man in him knew better. The man in him--only recently discovered through your support--didn’t need to impress strangers, didn’t need the approval of his “betters”. He only needed you. So as Billy stood in front of the judge, Frank and Curtis at his side, your parents and best friend behind you, he knew this was right. You told him you didn’t want a big wedding, didn’t need the fanfare, and that alone was enough to make Billy, over 100 confirmed kills under his belt, fall to his knees in devotion. You only wanted him. He reached out then, taking your hand in his, and let the small audience around you fade into the background. “Despite what my guys at Anvil might say,” he began with a slight smirk, “I’m not really one for speeches,” he paused, hearing Frank’s scoff and Curtis’ chuckle, before going on, “so I’ll keep this brief. I never thought I’d have this. Growing up, my only goal was to become somebody, and even then, that was more about proving something to myself than anything else. But then I met you. And damn,” he shook his head, his smirk turning into a rare, genuine smile, “if you didn’t change everything. So thank you. Thank you for making me into the man I am today, and thank you for staying with me, working with me, being so patient with me. I love you, and I promise, from this day forward, I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re the happiest person on the planet,” he looked into your shining eyes, a sense of certainty going through him, an instinctual push that let him know that he was doing the right thing, “I love you, and I’m so happy to be your husband.”

Logan Delos: As soon as you and Logan had walked down the aisle, officially man and wife, Logan pulled you away. “Logan,” you laughed as he led you down a hall, “what are you doing?” “I’m having a private moment with my wife,” he answered, opening a door and pulling you into the spare room with him, “My wife. Mrs. Logan Delos,” he grinned down at you, “Fuck... How’d I get so lucky?” You laughed, and Logan reached over and held your face in his hands, staring down at the rest of his life. “I’m serious... How did I get so lucky? I mean... I’m a perpetual fuck up, the bane of my father’s existence and still, despite all of that... I got you,” he sighed sweetly, “I love you, princess. I’m gonna love you till the day I die, and maybe even after that too,” he smiled at your responding laugh, “Definitely after that. Fuck,” he let out a breath, laughing at the end of it, “I just... I just won at life, babe. I mean--look at you. Look at us! I always thought I’d spend the rest of my life in-between lovers, just waking up smothered in a sea of dicks and--” “--You realize we’re in a church, right?” You deadpanned. He laughed--Logan laughed a lot when he was with you--and he leaned down and kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you moaned against his lips. “Ah ah,” he teased, pulling back with a smirk, “you know we’re in a church, right? But seriously, babe... I never thought I’d be a one-woman guy. But you... You’re all that I want. You’re everything. You just... You just came into my life and changed everything. I was just running around, fucking around... and you just burst in and gave me... Purpose,” he sighed happily, “It wasn’t until I met you that I realized why I was put on this earth. I was born to be yours. I was born to marry you and love you and take care of you, and I will,” he leaned down and kissed you now, his kiss soft and slow, nothing but love in his touch, “I will.... So now, let’s go get drunk and dance so we can get out of here, and I can really show you how I feel.”

Jax Teller: “I promise to treat you as good as my leather,” Jax recited, that famous Teller smirk on his face. You laughed as the room erupted in cheers and applause, and Jax kissed you. He was smiling when he pulled back, those blue eyes of his twinkling with love for you and you alone. “I really lucked out when you agreed to be my Old Lady,” he said, his voice making the laughs die down, all eyes on him, “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life... especially with love,” he admitted, “I was stubborn and ignorant and lost, but even through all that... You were there. You kept me grounded, you showed me what it meant to be a man and an outlaw, taught me how to reconcile those parts of myself, and for that... I’ll always be grateful to you, darlin’. You understand me--all the parts of me. I don’t ever have to worry about how to tell you things, or keep things from you. You get the club life. You support me. Hell,” he chuckled, “even my Mom likes you, and we all know what a tough sell she is.” The crowd laughed, and when you glanced over at Gemma, she had tears in her eyes. She gave you a small, approving nod, and that, coupled with Jax’s words, had you crying too. Jax laughed, gently reaching out and wiping your tears away with his thumb, “I love you. And I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life. No matter what life throws at us, I know we can handle it. You and me... we’re meant to be together, baby. We’ve been through enough to know that that’s true,” he smiled down at you, a soft, special smile on his face that was just for you, “I know everyday isn’t gonna be perfect. There’s gonna be times when we argue, but I promise you--here and now, in front of everyone we love, that I will never go to bed angry at you. I promise to always do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe, and happy, and protected,” he leaned a little closer to you, every inch of him devoted to you and you alone, “I promise that I will be the husband and the man you deserve. And, most importantly... I promise to ride you as much as my Harley.” The room erupted in laughter again, and you were still laughing--and crying--when your husband kissed you again. You knew, from that kiss, that he would keep his promises to you. Every single one. 

Coco Cruz: “I’m not... I’m not fucking great at this,” Coco began, his hands in yours, his eyes darting around the room, “You know, public speaking and all that shit... But, uh, I think it’s important to, uh... To speak my truth, so...” He took a breath, and you squeezed his hands in yours, and that was enough to calm his raging heart. Coco looked at you, his wife, and felt a completeness that he’d never imagined he’d feel in his life. He swallowed, willing himself to speak. “Everybody knows that, when I became a Mayan, when I joined the MC, it changed my life. I was in a bad place, you know? Just came back from Iraq, my mind was all messed up. But the MC helped me get right, you know? And then there was you, and all of a sudden, I realized... I was made for you,” he leaned forward a bit, swaying as he spoke, his hair blocking everyone but you from his sight, “I used to think my life was just some sick fucking joke. Then, when I became a Mayan, I thought it was all about being a warrior, being a brother--and it is. But there’s more to it then that. I didn’t realize until I met you, but... I was born to be with you. From the second I saw you, I knew I needed you. I need you way more than you need me,” he smiled, a soft chuckle coming from his lips, “It’s true,” he turned, addressing his brothers, “You guys remember what it was like, right? When we first started dating?” He was met with low murmurs and laughter. “I was a fucking mess,” he laughed, “I kept asking Taza and Hank how to be a good boyfriend. And somehow Angel ended up giving me advice, which was basically just ‘man up’,” he chuckled, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you, “I just... I just need to say, you’re perfect. And I know you don’t like when I say that, but it’s true. You’re perfect to me. Even when you’re a fucking raging psychopath,” he chuckled at your fake incredulous look, “you’re perfect. You help me see past the bullshit, help me see that life don’t just gotta be some fucking struggle... You make me happy, man. So happy. And I just want to make you happy, too. I want to be a good husband to you, and I’m gonna try. And even on days when shit ain’t perfect, I will still love you with all my heart, so...” He took a breath, his heart pounding as he looked down at you, his perfect person, his wife. “... Let’s fucking party!” You laughed, wiping your happy tears as the room erupted in cheers and the sounds of beer bottles clanking together. This was the first day of the rest of your life, and you couldn’t be happier for it. 

Angel Reyes: Angel sighed, his eyes welling up with tears. “This,” he began, stopping when he heard the sound of his own voice breaking. He cleared his throat, “This is... This isn’t how I imagined it. Like, when I was a kid, I mean. Like, not to be soft and everything, but... I used to think about this day, you know? Me marrying some dope girl, being in love, my family here to celebrate. So I mean... I’m happy,” he nodded, “I’m so... Man, I’m so happy. I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy, just... I feel like... Like I was incomplete before this, you know? Like this woman... she’s the other part of my soul. And I’m so happy, it’s crazy. It’s scary. I keep waiting to mess it up, keep waiting to say or do something to bring it all crumbling down, but... it won’t. I trust that it won’t,” he nodded again, meaning the words he spoke with all of his heart. Angel reached out, his fingers--adorned with no other ring but his wedding ring--brushing against his mother’s altar, “Watching you and Pop... I always wanted a love like yours, and now I got it, and I’m so happy, Ma... I am, but,” he blinked, the first tear falling, “...but I wish you were here to see it. I wish you could have met her; I wish she could have met you. You would have loved her, Ma. Pops loves her, EZ loves her--I tell her about you, but... But it’s not the same,” he wiped his tear, shaking his head a bit, “I know you’re looking down at us from Heaven, I know you see us, see her,” he sniffled, swallowing his tears, “And that’s good enough for me,” he chuckled lowly, “I know you saw when we first met, saw me pulling that machismo crap, trying to impress her. You saw it ain’t work, either,” he laughed again, “I bet it was you that gave me the idea to bring her lunch at work, wasn’t it? Yeah... That has you written all over it, Ma,” he tapped her urn, smiling warmly at the memories, “I love her so much... And I know you would have loved her, too. I just... I want to be a good husband to her... a good father---someday--to our kids,” he took a breath, “So, Ma, please... Be with me now like you were with me when I proposed, give me that same courage and certainty you gave me before, yeah? Cause in a minute, I’m about to go out there in front of all our family and friends, and I’m about to commit myself to this woman for the rest of my life, and I... I need you with me, Mami,” satisfied, he kissed two fingers and pressed them against his mother’s urn, “Thank you.” He straightened up, fixing his hair and wiping his eyes again. Nodding to himself, he walked off, murmuring, “Good chat...” all the way to the altar. 

Miguel Galindo: “I am not a man who can easily admit he was wrong,” Miguel began, chuckling along with the rest of the church at his words, “Okay,” he admitted, shaking his head a bit, “I never admit I was wrong,” he paused, looking into your eyes, and he felt that familiar tug in his chest that he always felt when he looked at you--pure love. “But I was wrong. As many of you know, I was married once before. And I thought that I’d spend the rest of my life with that person. I was wrong,” he reached out for your hand, taking it in his, the warmth of it spreading through his entire body, all the way into his heart, “I was wrong, and I have never been happier to admit that. Because from that failure, came you. And I’m thankful for you every moment of every day,” he smiled, and your heart flipped in your chest at the sight of your soon-to-be-husband, “It isn’t easy to be with me, I know,” he nodded, giving you a silent acknowledgment, “But you... You just know me. You know how to read me, how to get me to talk when I don’t want to,” he laughed, “how to shut me up when I want to talk... I’m at your mercy. And what’s more,” he leaned forward a bit, “...I like it,” his smile widened at the sight of yours, “I remember the day that I realized that I needed you in my life for the long haul. It was when we flew to Iceland. You fell asleep against my shoulder. You were so tired... And I was too. I was frustrated and tired and irritated, but when I looked down at you... Mi amor, I felt nothing but gratefulness. Grateful to have you in my life, grateful to be able to have you by my side, to have you as mine. I’ve been blessed with many great things; a wonderful son, multiple successful businesses, a beautiful home... But it’s you, my love, you who makes me take a step back and really see how lucky I am. Because all of the money in the world would mean nothing if I didn’t have you to share it with,” he reached out and wiped your budding tears, smiling fondly at you, “I love you,” was all he said before he was kissing you, and the resulting applause blooming around you was nothing but white noise with Miguel’s lips against yours. He whispered something against your lips as the church applause your love, just a short, simple sentence that had you crying with love. “Thank you, mi amor, for proving me wrong.”

Nick Amaro: “Gil and Zara and I are so happy to welcome you into our family,” Nick said, giving a special smile to ring-bearer Gil and flower-girl Zara, both of whom grinned back at him, Zara flashing you a quick wave, “Gil keeps saying that I took too long, and Zara says I should have just married you months ago, and they’re both right,” he laughed, “But I wanted to give you this--the wedding, the reception--because I know this is important to you. It’s important to me, too,” he took a breath, looking down at your intertwined fingers before looking up again, smiling at your beautiful face, “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, my career, but you...” He sighed happily, “I know I can get in my own head a lot, but somehow, with you... It just seems like everything falls into place. I mean... That’s your power. You just make everything seem so easy. I see you with the kids, with your job, with me,” he chuckled, “And it’s like you instinctively know what to do, how to handle me. You make it look easy, and you can ask Olivia, dealing with me, isn’t easy.” He looked over at Olivia, her eyes shining with approval as she watched you together. “But you do. For good or bad, better or worse,” he took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to the back of it, “I love you. Completely. Totally. And I’m going to continue on loving you until the day I die,” his smile reached his eyes, and they shimmered with love for you, “And probably even after that, to be honest. Every morning when I wake up and see your face, when I hear you and the kids laughing, when I see the joy you bring into our lives... It makes me feel so... secure,” he nodded, pleased at his choice of words, “And you know better than anyone how hard that is for me: to feel secure. You just... You make everything easier, more manageable... And everything I do from here on out is for you and the kids. I love you...Mrs. Amaro.”

Johnny Tuturro: Johnny couldn’t stop smiling. His mom was there, his Graceland family was there, and most importantly--the future Mrs. Johnny Tuturro was standing in front of him, just minutes away from becoming his wife. “Alright, alright, alright,” Johnny began, “Everybody shut up, I got somethin’ to say!” Jakes groaned in the crowd, “Jesus, Johnny, then just say it!” “Don’t rush him,” you called back, giving Jakes a friendly glare. Johnny laughed, kissing your cheek, “Thank you, baby,” he stood up straight, “Look, anyone with eyes can see that my girl is fly,” he started, making everyone laugh, “But for real, the moment I saw her, I knew she was different. I mean, she’s gorgeous, yeah, but she’s also smart, brave, a certified badass--sorry for cussin’, Ma--and the love of my life,” he smiled down at you, eyes soft, “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I am so happy to be making you my wife,” he turned pointing off into the audience at Briggs, “Which by the way--ha HA! I knew she wouldn’t go for you! Best bet I ever took, seeing which one of us was gonna get your number... though I ain’t gonna lie, you had me scared for a moment there when you started getting chummy with Charlie,” he chuckled, “But I was the lucky one. That was the start of the rest of my life, and I want to make every day we have together a perfect day. No matter what life throws at us, what happens at work, what we go through as people or as a couple, we’re always gonna have each other’s backs. Me and you,” he went on, “We were meant to be, baby. Fated. And baby, I promise you, I will be the best husband I can be. Because that’s what you deserve. And as happy as I am to be here with you right now, in front of all of our friends and families... Man, I can’t wait to get out of here and just be with you,” he grinned, and you could see the dirty promise behind those sweet words, “I’m crazy about you, baby girl, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” he leaned in, kissing you, his next words whispered, so only you could hear him, “can’t wait to have married sex in the limo, either...” 

Rio: When you woke up, the late morning sun painting your body in its light, the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was Rio’s eyes. They were soft and warm, that deep brown peering down at you and making you feel like the most beloved person on the planet. Which, of course, you were. “So?” He asked, caressing the side of your face with two of those long, sinewy fingers. “So what?” You asked, already in a daze from the softness of his voice and the sweet smile on his face. “So what do you think? How’d the first night of matrimony go? You ready to give back my dowry yet? Sell me back to my father?” You laughed, cuddling closer to him. “Nah, I think I’ll keep you. I mean, you did come with a cow and two chickens, so I guess you’re worth it.” He wrapped his arms around you, and you closed your eyes, melting into his touch. “I love you,” he said, his voice muffled as he buried his face in the crown of your head. “Love you, too,” you said back, rubbing his back. “Hey,” he pulled back a bit, looking down at you, “Yesterday was perfect,” he began, “The wedding, the reception... I ain’t never seen Marcus so excited to talk as he was when he gave his speech.” “Oh, don’t remind me,” you sighed, smiling at the memory, “I cried so hard; it was such a good speech.” “Yeah,” he nodded, kissing your forehead, “He was so proud to be able to tell you how much he loves you,” Rio sighed, “but, here’s the thing, mama... There was one thing about yesterday that I wish I could change.” You frowned, “What?” “I kinda wish we would’ve done vows,” he admitted. “Really?” You asked, eyes wide. You and Rio had decided early on not to have vows, you’d both agreed that it was so private, you didn’t want to make a spectacle out of your love. But hearing him say that he’d wished he’d given you his vows had your heart pounding. He nodded, “Yeah. So... I was thinkin’... Maybe I could say my vows now. I mean, I ain’t write nothing down or anything, but I just wanted to say... I love you. I love what you’ve done to me, to Marcus... I love the way you brighten up my life, how you accepted my son with open arms, how you work so well with me, the way you inspire me, the way you make me want to flip my game. I love how I can tell you everything, how I never have to hide any parts of myself with you,” he titled your chin up, smiling down at you, “I love having you as my wife. I love you, Mrs. Rivera.” He kissed you then, and you kissed him back, sighing against his lips, pressing yourself against him. “So,” he grinned, “How was that? Decent vows?” You laughed, kissing his nose, “Perfect.”

Bonus Boy

Tommy Shelby: “I have something I want to say,” Tommy announced. Everyone in the church grew silent, and you couldn’t help but notice the small smile on Jeremiah’s face as he turned to you. Every eye was on you, and you turned to Tommy, curious as to what he was about to say. “I want it known,” he started, his voice booming through the church, “That this is the last time I’m ever getting married, because this is the woman I was always meant to be with,” he looked over at you, those brilliant blue eyes piercing right through your soul, “Me whole life, I’ve spent planning, thinking, rethinking. Every move I’ve made as a businessman has been a calculated one, but with you,” he said, his focus on you and you alone, “It’s all instinct. I don’t have to overthink or second guess with you, because I can feel that you’re what’s right. You’re what’s been missing. And now that I have you... Well, there’s peace. Peace in me head and me heart that I thought had left for good. And I have you to thank for that. So now, I want to make you a promise, and I want to make it in front of all of our family and friends, because if nothing else, I know Aunt Pol, Jeremiah, and our Ada will make sure I keep it,” he gave you a small smile, and just that one gesture was enough to have you nearly swooning, “So here it is. I promise, from this moment, till the day I die, to always love, honor, and respect you. I will never lie to you, I will never leave you. I am yours,” he promised, “Every part of me; even the parts I don’t like, belong to you. And everyone,” his voice got a bit louder, and he turned a bit, addressing the crowd, “will know that you are Mrs. Tommy Shelby, and they will treat you accordingly.” You smiled; his words were as much an announcement as a threat. “Now, Jeremiah,” he said, a friendly note coming back into his voice, “Let’s get on with this ceremony, eh? I want to take my bride to London.” 

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[fruitcoops]

The Roadtrip

Secret Santa 2022 gift for @veryspacecowboy, monarch of AUs, PhD in story spams, and altogether outstanding friend! M, I wish you all the best in the coming year. Hopefully you can experience even half the joy you bring to those of us on the server, because that would be a damn good year. Love and hugs, dear one <3 An AU seemed appropriate considering the wonderful nonsense we get up to in the channels. Cubs credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Fifteen Hours

Attention passengers. This airport has been closed indefinitely due to inclement weather. Please contact your airline for vouchers, assistance, and travel aides.

“…so, Gryffindor?”

“Gryffindor.”

“Same.”

The redhead nodded slowly, chewing the inside of his lip as he watched the other planes begin their slow return off the runway. “Y’know, my car is still parked in the garage.”

Fourteen Hours

Leo really wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Striking up conversation with the friendly guy in the window seat was bad enough—carrying it on to their middle-seat companion was far beyond his usual level of socialization with strangers. But getting in a car with them for a four-hour drive…

Christ, it was like he was asking to get axe-murdered.

He chanced a quick look at the driver’s seat, where the redhead—Finn O’Hara, nice to meet you, where are you from?—still seemed happy enough as they made their way to the freeway through the thickening flurries. He felt a little bad about making someone else drive, but if the soft snoring from the backseat was any indication, Logan had no such qualms. It was probably smart to let a local weave them out of the city anyway.

“Zeppelin?”

Finn startled a little. “What?”

“Led Zeppelin.” Leo nodded toward the dashboard radio. “Nice.”

“Ah, yeah, my dad likes it,” Finn said with a lopsided smile.

Close with his parents. Good sign. “What do you like?”

“Little bit of everything. I’ve got, like, two dozen Spotify playlists lined up. Let me guess, you’re…country?”

Leo laughed. “What gave it away? The accent?”

“The pins on your bag.” Finn gestured vaguely toward the backpack Leo had been cradling in his lap since they left JFK. A little murdery of him to notice, but also kind of sweet. “My mom loves Carole King.”

“Carole King isn’t country.”

A blush peeked out over the collar of Finn’s jacket as he coughed lightly, looking back to the road. “Right. Yeah, of course. I knew that.”

“You don’t like country,” Leo guessed, amused.

“It’s not—bad.”

“Mhmm.” He checked the rearview mirror again and caught Logan’s drowsy gaze; that pure jade color had captivated Leo on the plane, not that he would admit it aloud. If noticing the pins on someone’s bag was creepy, there were no words for ‘I want to stare into your eyes all day’ without sounding like an absolute freak. He tilted his chin. “How about you?”

Logan’s brows furrowed. “What about me?”

“Do you like country music?”

“Ouais, some.” He yawned, stretching as much as his seat would allow. The curl of his accent was a comfort Leo didn’t care to analyze. “Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash. My sister got me into it.”

“Noelle?”

“Non, Sydney.”

“Second oldest?” At Logan’s nod and slight smile, Finn fist-pumped. “Thank you, memory. I can’t listen to country while I’m driving, but you can put whatever on when we switch.”

Eleven Hours

Logan tapped his foot impatiently next to the accelerator. They had swapped after Finn got them through two full hours of standstill traffic just outside the city limits, but there wasn’t much he could do about the descending weather. Honking at the flurries wouldn’t be nearly as helpful as it was satisfying.

“I wonder if we can Flintstones it,” Leo mused from the passenger seat. His hair stuck up on one side from leaning on the window, burnt gold in the streetlights of the interstate. His knees were folded up awkwardly in the seat well; Logan hadn’t realized how much of a fucking giant he was before their quick stop at the gas station, and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. He was otherwise so normal. Logan couldn’t help but feel a little cowed in his shadow.

“Logan?”

He jumped, double-checking his grip on the steering wheel. “Oui?”

“Flintstones?”

“Sorry, never saw it.” He gave Leo an apologetic glance and braced himself for the inevitable ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s. People always assumed he had been sheltered, or homeschooled, or (memorably) in a cult, but the truth was that Rimouski had shit reception and his sisters always won the TV remote in fights. The annoying part was when strangers began to list movies and see which rang a bell.

Leo hummed and leaned his head back against Finn’s soft fabric headrest. “It’s a cartoon from the 50s or something about a prehistoric family. They’ve got a pet dinosaur and shit, and their car only works if the dad sticks his feet through a hole in the floor and runs.”

Logan waited a moment longer for the questioning to continue. What about Star Wars? was always a favorite. Do you know who Steven Spielberg is? Have you seen Jaws? Hey, you remind me of that actor from…

Leo gave him a funny look, something confused and yet not offended, then turned to look out the window at the falling snow with a small smile. “It’s nice out there,” he said quietly. “Peaceful.”

Finn’s slow, heavy breaths from the backseat as he dozed accented the crawl of traffic perfectly. Logan turned away from Leo and blinked at the cars in front of them. He couldn’t help but like it, just a little. Just enough to get by.

Nine Hours

“Three rooms?” Finn dug around in his pocket, then shook his head. “Or, sorry, room for three?”

Behind rhinestone-coated glasses, the woman gave him a sympathetic look. Hi, I’m: Rhonda! Ask Me About: New Jersey! was spelled in cheerful red lettering on her lanyard. “Oh, honey.”

“Sorry, ‘s a long drive.” The weight on his back increased as Leo swayed into him. Finn prodded him gently and felt him startle back into consciousness before offering her a smile. “Came from JFK. No planes, with the weather and everything.”

“Where’re you headed?”

“Gryffindor. Family visit.” He tilted his head back toward Leo, then down at Logan, who was staring vacantly at the far wall. “Visiting a college friend, and…honestly, I have no idea where he’s going.”

“Ma sœur,” Logan mumbled.

“Right, yeah, his sister.” Finn ran a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck. His brain was mashed potatoes. What was usually a four-hour hop had become far more of a journey than he had planned. “We’ve been on the road since six. It’s a mess out there.”

“I bet.” Rhonda tapped at her keyboard for a moment and bit down on her lip. “We’ve got a room with a bed and a pullout, but that’s it. Lots of folks are coming in for the night because of the storm. I can look for a cot?”

Ice. Bed. Pullout couch. Finn suddenly became aware that he had been staring at Rhonda’s red acrylic nails for far longer than socially acceptable. “Yeah,” he managed. Everything had a faint blurry halo, even through his glasses. “Whatever you’ve got.”

“I can help you pay for it.” Leo was warm where he pressed along Finn’s side for support, a welcome reprieve from the freezing wind outside. Logan made a noise of agreement.

Just the thought of maneuvering three sets of paperwork made Finn’s growing headache throb even more. “You can Venmo me later, ‘s fine.”

The papers Rhonda passed across the desk could have been the deed to his soul, and Finn would not have hesitated a second before signing. Exhaustion washed over him in waves. The road trip had been fun at first, but after six and a half hours of creeping down the highway he was just done. He listed into Leo and felt a strong hand come down to balance his elbow; his muttered ‘thanks’ was met with a light headbutt. The cold press of the motel room key in his hand was salvation itself.

--

“Didn’t she say something about a cot?”

“Yeah, forty minutes ago. Which one of you left your wet fucking towel on the floor in here?”

“Guys, the pullout’s broken.”

“…alright, just get in the bed.”

“Oh, thank god.”

Four Hours

Six a.m. broke cruel and dark and cold. Leo scowled at the window and turned over, into the soft thing in front of him. It smelled like cheap citrus shampoo and the starchy detergent of the motel sheets. He risked opening one eye; Logan’s face was smushed up on one side while he snored quietly. Bedtime had been a rushed and fumbling affair of discarded bags and a halfhearted attempt at pajamas once they gave up on the pullout or any hope of a cot. Leo was just grateful for a mattress for his aching body.

In the faint light of passing cars, Leo sort of wished he had taken the time to see them both properly. Plane seats and Finn’s Toyota didn’t exactly lend themselves well to getting a fair look at his companions. Friends? Could he call them friends yet? He knew the names of their siblings and their favorite music—he knew Finn wore thick tortoiseshell glasses when he had to drive at night, and that Logan hummed under his breath when he thought they were both asleep. Those felt like things a friend would know.

Leo…Leo wasn’t all that good at friends, though. He was excellent with acquaintances. People tended to like him just fine. It was the depth that made him uncomfortable. There always came a point when he had to toe the line of just how honest he could be.

So he let himself look. If they weren’t going to be anything but ships in the night, there was no real harm. He remembered Logan’s frustrated grumble when he dug through his duffel and came up emptyhanded, but his shirtlessness hadn’t registered in Leo’s weary mind beyond warm person soft. The shadows caught on his rounded shoulder and slipped down his arm like spilt ink. He was tan even in the low light, with a few dark freckles splashed in odd places. Leo pillowed his head on his arms and followed the line of Logan’s torso with his eyes—he was just so nice to look at, like this. Comfortable and mostly-hidden under thick polyester, with none of his careful walls up.

Leo was so caught up in the glimpse of Logan’s abs that he nearly missed Finn’s hand. Wouldn’t that be a tragedy, he thought as he shifted closer to them both. Finn was mostly invisible between Logan’s broad body and the dark room, but he was pale enough to stand out where his forearm was slung over Logan’s hip. He was strong, too, but where Logan was thick and sturdy Finn seemed to have been stretched out. The blanket bumps of his legs and feet sat a solid three inches further down the bed than Logan’s—even his hand was bigger and more slender, long fingers twitching in his sleep.

Leo thought back to the subtle pin on Finn’s messenger bag and the way Logan had looked at them both in his quiet, careful way. If they asked, he knew what he’d say. Takes one to know one. Clocking them was easy, when he knew where to look (that, and their music taste). It probably wouldn’t come up. But if it did, he wouldn’t protest a phone number. Or two.

One of them made a quiet noise when Leo shuffled closer to wrest the blankets back over his shoulder. He closed his eyes and let the sounds of the highway lull him.

Two Hours

“JOLENE, JOLENE, JOLENE, JOLENE!” Leo hollered at the top of his lungs through his laughter.

“I’M BEGGIN’ OF YOU PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY MAN!” Finn shouted back, cranking up the stereo until Logan swore he felt the window rattle. He could see them in the rearview mirror, both rosy from singing and generally being rowdy idiots. He would never understand morning people.

“Did you text your sister yet?” Leo called over his shoulder.

“Can’t!” Logan answered. “You’re too loud!”

“It’s texting!”

“I can’t hear myself think!”

“Come on, Tremblay, lighten up!”

Logan meet Finn’s eyes in the mirror and fixed him with a look. “You don’t even like country music.”

“It’s Dolly Parton!”

“Mon dieu,” he muttered. The happy, fluttery thing that leapt in his chest when Leo whooped and stuck his head out the window like a dog was entirely unimportant. Finn had finally been banished to the passenger seat, leaving Logan with an unobstructed view of his profile. He had spent much of yesterday sneaking glances at Leo’s round jaw and button nose; memorizing the angles of Finn’s cheekbones and neck was equally fascinating. It was deeply unfair of the universe to put him in close quarters with two attractive strangers. It was even more unfair that he slept solidly through the night sandwiched between them.

Finn had been an adorable, stammering mess when they woke up cuddling. Logan hadn’t had the chance to say anything of substance before Leo woke and Finn hustled off to find breakfast, though that was probably for the best. He would inevitably end up saying something to make it worse.

“Ninety minutes from Gryff, baby!” Finn crowed as they crossed the border out of New York. His whole face was alight when he turned to look at Logan. “Told you I’d get us here faster than the plane!”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. New Yorker,” Leo teased.

Oh, no. Logan’s heart skipped a beat. There was that funny feeling again, right at his core, the one he hadn’t felt in so long it was nearly a dream. Finn’s exuberance was like watching the night sky explode into being before his very eyes. Leo’s smile was brighter than the sun on fresh-plowed snow.

This was going to be a problem. They were going to be a problem.

Five Thirty Minutes

We should keep each other’s numbers. Hey, do you want to keep each other’s numbers? Since we’re all here, do you want to grab lunch? Do you want to hang out? Do you want to meet my family? How do you feel about marriage?

“Either of you want a granola bar? I have a million of them.”

Logan looked amused, which Finn counted as a win compared to the studious staring he had been subjected to over the course of the morning. His dark curls fluffed out from beneath the sides of his hat. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Leo?”

“I’ve got lunch plans.” Leo’s smile was apologetic and more adorable than anyone had the right to be.

Alex’s block was coming up. Well, not Alex’s block, but the one he was frequenting more and more as the months passed until Finn had to check and make sure what city he was in before setting any plans. Two streets and they’d be at the apartment building.

Leo and Logan did not know that.

Leo and Logan were engaged in some sort of cross-console nonsense.

Leo and Logan were right there, happy and comfortable.

Finn turned his blinker on and took a left.

The End of the Road

“Attention, passengers, we have arrived at our destination.”

Logan snorted a laugh at Finn’s poor impression of their pilot. God almighty, Leo wanted to kiss the dimple on his cheek. The car came to a stop at the curb. He did not miss the way Finn’s hand lingered on the gearshift before moving to the emergency brake. He was already five minutes late for lunch. Part of him wanted Finn to knock the car right back into ‘drive’ in spite of what Regulus would surely say.

The car was quieter than it had been since the engine first rumbled to life, fifteen hours and a lifetime ago. They gathered their things from the wells and trunk and every corner of the seats. The snow was just starting to stick to the sidewalk, crunching under three pairs of sneakers before they came to a stop at the driver’s side. Finn scuffed his foot against the curb. Logan couldn’t quite meet either of their eyes.

“Well,” Leo said after a moment of silence. “Gimme your phones. I’m here for the next five days and don’t know shit about hell.”

Finn looked up with that crooked, endearing grin. “I’m pretty useless here.”

Logan half-shrugged. “Don’t look at me. I’m Canadian.”

Leo held his hand out expectantly; between one breath and the next, two phones sat in his palm. “Sounds like we’ll have to figure it out together.”

#finn o'hara #leo knut #logan tremblay #oknutzy #coast to coast #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #au #roadtrip #holidays #fluff

[literatikoo]

Jess Mariano's alleged communication problems

If there is one thing the Gilmore Girls fandom agrees upon, whether you're team Jess or Dean or Logan, it's that Jess isn't great at communicating. There's just a consensus that he's not great at discussing his problems and that's the number 1 reason why his and Rory's relationship blew up in their face in season 3. But... this is a (somewhat) unfounded complaint? Don't get me wrong, I know Jess can be harsh and rude and really knows how to hit the nail on the head sometimes but there are also multiple instances where he talks after being pushed a little. Like every single time he's talked to Luke about Rory problems ("The girls I like don't give a damn about me," "I told her I loved her" and the infamous swan episode) or when he tells Rory, a girl he barely knows, that his mom doesn't want him back for Christmas.

The problem with Jess is that he picks and chooses who to communicate too. He definitely doesn't talk about Liz to Luke because he knows that Luke just doesn't believe that Liz is a bad person and a neglectful mother. And seriously, we've seen Luke enable Liz' terrible behaviour multiple times on the show, do you really think he would've believed whatever Jess had to say about her? He talks to Rory about Liz that one time and she doesn't believe him either and both we and Jess know that she has a right to that because she's never met Liz, but this is still enough for Jess to never bring her up again (at least from what we see) because he's a 17 year old kid with a terrible relationship with his parents. NO 17 year old kid who's been treated bad by their parents would want to open up about it because it's pretty strongly ingrained in us that having negative emotions against your parents is WRONG. On the other hand, Jess knows that Luke sees his and Rory's relationship and may even help because he has his own unique relationship with the Gilmore Girls, which is why he's much more open about Rory and even seeks advice on occasion.

Now, let's talk about Jess' less than stellar communication moments:

1. Lying about school and Walmart: Jess skives off school a LOT to work at Walmart and save up money. He doesn't tell anyone about it. Why? Because for everyone else in Stars Hollow, and for most of us too, school is important and education is a positive thing needed for growth. But who knows how often Jess went to school before SH, we already know he has a bad relationship with the educational system but why? When he goes back to NY in s2 it's obvious he's not going to school and we know Liz moved around a lot so he may be a lot more behind in school than we know. Yes, he's smart and he reads a lot but that's not enough to do well in school; you need to be able to conform a fair amount and I don't think Jess even went enough to know that. Jess already wasn't planning on going to college and he knows that living with Luke is temporary, which is why he puts more importance into saving up money. He was already working for the future, just in a different way from everyone else. It's obvious that he also wasn't planning to flunk out of school, it happened because he wasn't attending enough not because he was failing (which pisses me off so much don't even get me started). He was going to graduate and then he was going to use the money he saved up while looking for a job that suited him. And that's a pretty solid plan honestly, especially since he didn't have the luxury to suddenly decide to go to 4 year college because his girlfriend told him too like Dean. But this is something else he just couldn't talk about to Luke or Rory, who both think he's capable of great things within the academic sphere. Mind you, once Luke found out he was skipping school he didn't deal with things in the best way either. He stole his car, effectively cutting off Jess' last bit of independence. I really feel like Jess was just waiting to graduate before he had THE talk with Rory about their future, and it was obvious he was thinking longterm ("22.8 miles"). That is before everything goes to shit.

2. Keg! Max!: Let me preface this by saying that Jess definitely made irreversible mistakes in this episode... but it wasn't for the lack of trying. This is the episode that he finds out he's not graduating and we can see him struggling with this information, he's tense and angry and his emotions are simmering. His interactions with Rory, which are usually so easygoing, are surrounded by this air of finality. At this moment, he knows he's going to lose her and his home with Luke because that's what the deal was. But he still goes with her to that party and he still does the bare minimum of mingling. Throughout the party he tells Rory that he wants to leave, I'm guessing to talk to her about what happened. But they don't (this is NOT Rory's fault btw, she had no way to know what happened either) and instead Jess' emotions get the better of him. This is the first of the two instances where we really see how non communicative Jess can be. However I still maintain that if Dean hadn't gotten involved, Jess and Rory would've been able to talk. (fuck Dean)

3. Jess leaves: This is the second case where we see him being truly non communicative, and unfortunately I don't have much to say in his defence. Except that he probably was still reeling from losing his home and meeting his Dad and just didn't know how to put that insane amount of emotion into words. He also probably thought that Rory just didn't want to talk to him anymore because of how terribly he treated her, especially since he was just going to give her more bad news. He could see himself self destructing, and didn't want Rory to be collateral damage.

4. Smaller instances (Swan song, Not calling Rory, fighting with Lorelai): Okay, I think the swan incident was Rory's fault, because he was telling her the truth and just didn't want to get into it in front of Emily. But she wasn't ready to hear it until she talked to Dean, which honestly was a sucky move on her part. The not calling her when he said he would while they were dating in that one random episode was also a similar misunderstanding. The thing in common with both of these instances was that he was ready to learn afterwards; he said he was willing to go back to Emily's house and he bought them tickets to the Distillers and from what the show tells us they had a lot more consistent date nights after that. This was Jess' first proper relationship and he was really trying. Now the Lorelai thing... he just didn't want her in his business. They had no relation to each other and she was very condescending to him the first time they met, he wasn't great either but when an adult talks to you the way she did after you've just been uprooted at your mothers whims, you tend to hate them a little. And honestly I always thought that Jess being weirded out by Lorelai's involvement in his and Rory's relationship was more normal 17 year old behaviour than Dean being overly friendly with her.

So, in conclusion, because he made two big fatal communication mistakes, he's labelled as the broody non talking type. When we see most of the characters actually do the same (Rory drops out of Yale and cuts off ties with her mother, Lorelai sleeps with Christopher after months of miscommunication with Luke, Luke doesn't tell Lorelai, his fiance, that he has a daughter), seriously, they've all made mistakes and this doesn't diminish the mistakes that Jess has made and the hurt he has caused, but he also doesn't deserve to have non communicative as a personality trait. If it was seriously that big of a problem, he wouldn't have been able to grow from it that quickly (by the end of s4) and by reading self help books of all things. I also think it comes off like that because he was in the show for so little time, and that's what the writers chose to focus on.

So tldr, Jess isn't as non communicative as the show wants us to believe and he definitely isn't broody.

#gilmore girls #gilmore girls meta #jess mariano #rory gilmore #luke danes #liz danes #lorelai gilmore #literati #character meta #jess mariano meta #anti dean forrester #not really but my entire blog is anti dean forrester so

[thecrowslullaby]

Number 41. You say you hate it but your face says otherwise

With Lociet!

If you would like to

Thank you for the ask! I had fun trying to fit it into the story! These past few days have been wild but I finally gotten around to "proof reading this thing.

Pairing: none

Warnings: foul language, mention of emotionally abusive parents

Word count: 838(Oh no, shorter chapters :'O)

Part 1 - Prev - Next

Tuesday 8:42

Logan’s companion snapped their head around.

“Shit, shit, shit, sorry.” Logan smiled despite himself as he saw his niece, furiously dabbing the waiter with more napkins than she could hold, dropping quite a few in the process. “Are you alright sir?”

“It’s fine, the tea wasn’t hot Ma'am.”

“Shit, thank fuck, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Vivien?” She looked in their direction and the waiter, seizing the opportunity, quickly fled the scene.

“Uncle Logan!” She grinned. “Oh shit! Am I late?”

“It’s ok Vi, you’re actually early.”

“Oooof, That’s a fucking relief!” She hurried over noticing his companion only when she was standing right next to him. “Oh Hi! Hello! Sorry I didn’t- am I interrupting?”

“I think if anyone was interrupting your uncle it was me.”

“Oh! Hi I’m-” she stuck out her hand before taking one look at it, retrieving it in order to quickly clean whatever she saw on it on her pants and sticking it out again. If the man was hesitant to take it he didn’t show it.”I’m Vivien. Logan’s niece, well, sorta.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Janus.”

“Cool! I didn’t know Logan had any friends. I mean-” She slapped a hand over her mouth, looking sheepishly at her uncle. “Sorry” she mumbled.

“It’s fine Vivien.” Logan said, already rubbing his temples. He loved his niece. Even if she was responsible for several headaches over the course of growing up. “Would you sit down with us?”

“Oh yeah sure.” She dragged a chair from a nearby table, noisily, not helping the pressure that was already building up under Logan's skull.

The man shot Janus an apologizing look, but to his credit the man grinned.

“Should I leave you two?" Logan opened his mouth to respond but the woman bet him to it.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, please stay!” Vivien said, sitting down. “Logan never speaks to anyone who’s not me or my dad-”

“my dad or I”

“-so we’re keeping you.” She punctuated the statement by hunching her shoulders and drumming her fingertips against each other. Janus gave a polite laugh.

“Is that so?”

“I got rid of the only witness. No one can-”

“Vievien!”

“What?” She grinned innocently up at Logan.

“You can’t threaten to kidnap people.”

“You say you hate it but your face says otherwise~”

“I’m sorry.” Logan turned to Janus, feeling his face grow hotter as he saw Vivien wiggling her eyebrows out of the corner of his eye. They were here to discuss her wedding, but apparently Vivien found playing matchmaker with Janus and Logan far more entertaining.

“It’s fine.” Janus chuckled. “I’ve gotten used to the threat of kidnapping long ago.”

“See? Jan says we can kidnap him!”

“Well I certainly didn’t agree to that!”

“Quick-” she stage whispered. “Get the rope while I-”

“Vivien-” Logan started in a serious tone and he regretted it immediately when he saw the shift in his niece's behavior. He didn’t mean to sound harsh, but they really needed to discuss this issue. Better make it quick then. “I know you’re trying to avoid it but-”

“Yeah, yeah.” She said, planting her face on the table and Logan restrained himself not to tell her off for that. “Just lay the facts on me, harbinger of doom.”

Logan signed, taking his tablet out.

“You know you can call this wedding off anytime you want.” This would be so much easier if Vivien actually spoke up about the issue with Karen.

“Yeah but mom-”

“-this isn’t any of her concern Vivien.”

“Try telling that to her.”

“I did.”

“And how did it go?”

Logan took a deep breath. Vivien and him both knew Karen had disregarded his opinions for the past 20 years and she’s certainly not going to stop doing it now.

“Vivien-”

“Look I get it ok? It’s stupid, I should be able to tell her no, but she has this look in her eyes like her whole fucking happiness depends on me being nice to her.”

“You know she’s-”

"Manipulating me, yeah, yeah.” She signed. “ But she’s all like: Roman this, Roman that! It’s such a good catch! You’ll be rich, you'll be happy! Just marry into the Prince family and don’t forget who set you up!”

“What?” Both Logan and Vivien turned to Janus who suddenly looked very pale.”You’re planning to marry the Roman Prince?” Was the man really that well known? Logan hadn’t heard of him until Karen brought the marriage up.

“If whatever merciless entity doesn’t strike me dead first.” Vivien muttered.

“I’m- well, congratulations on that, I suppose, or well, not, I’m honestly not sure.” Janus stood absurdly, sending his chair flying back. His legs shook as he desperately held onto the table, his expression a mix of fury and fear. “I think I’ll take my leave.”

“No, no you can-”

“Thank you, Vivien, Logan, but I’m afraid I already heard more than I should have.”

The man fled the room leaving Logan worried about what kind of person Roman Prince was.

#ts Logan #ts Janus #cawtent #ts fic #I should probably name this au something

[lumosinlove]

Between Fifth And You

AO3

chapter two

~

It’s Saturday night for Manhattan’s elite, and we know what that means. The Noble House of Black beckons, and one particularly family seems to be a little behind on preparations—at least, their youngest son is.

Spotted—Logan Tremblay, looking hot in nothing but basketball shorts. Better soak up that fading blue August heat while you can, Lo. Or are you more interested in something a little more…fiery? But in the LES? Why so far from home, Dorothy? Eye color isn’t the only thing green about the Tremblay family. And they have a bad habit of sorting everything out with a little help from Ben Franklin.

“Shoot, shoot!”

Logan pivoted on his heel and was able to toss the ball around his opponent’s shoulder. He only caught a glimpse of red hair as Finn caught it with ease and jumped it up to the rim.

Finn O’Hara. One of these days Logan was going to step on his own shoes watching Finn O’Hara. His pale chest looked like sugar dusting, his exertion-red cheeks the goddamn cherry.

“Point moo-oi!” Finn shouted, slapping Will Morgan and Percy Marshall on their bare backs. “That’s how you say it, right, Tremblay?”

Logan feigned a shudder. “Non.”

“Shorty’s got game,” Will laughed, sweat dripping down his dark brown skin, darkening the leather bracelets he wore.

Percy shook his head, swallowing over a caught-breath, his silver Star of David swinging at his throat. “Shorty must be cheating with his Upper Side shoes.”

Logan just narrowed his eyes and laughed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “You’re just tall. Doesn’t mean you’re good.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mazel tov, you fucker.”

“I’m finally winning,” Finn grinned. “And now I gotta get back to the shop. I said be back in five…pretty sure it’s been fifty-five.”

Logan swallowed. “I’ll—I’ll walk you.”

Percy slapped him on the back as they left, and Finn held the cage door of the basketball court open for him.

“So, you’re back at school?” Finn asked as he pulled his shirt on. Logan nodded, following suit, picking at the neck where it stuck to his sweaty skin.

“Yeah,” Logan nodded. “I’m supposed to be getting fitted for a suit right now.”

Finn snorted. “What does that have to do with school?”

“Oh,” the corner of Logan’s mouth raised as he realized. “Nothing, I…well, you know. The social scene. It sort of all feels like one thing, up there.”

Finn pouted at him. “Poor baby. Too many parties.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Logan laughed.

“Hey, feel like lunch?”

“I thought you had to be back.”

Finn shrugged. “I’m hungry.”

Logan bit his lip, wondering how many different ways his older sisters could actually kill him. Honestly, he thought he’d just die on the spot of he passed up the change to be squeezed into one of the small restaurants that Finn frequented. Screw the grand tables of his life. Logan wanted cracked leather booths small enough to let their ankles brush. Not that he’d ever say that out loud.

Finn didn’t disappoint. They walked down the shade of Mott street, then turned at a bakeshop on the corner. Finn pointed at it.

“You’ve been here, haven’t you?”

Logan raised a shoulder. “I don’t get down here much.”

Finn snorted. “Listen to you. Down here. You’re down here enough to pop into my bookstore all the time.”

Logan studied the cakes in the windows, biting his lip when he realized Finn’s eyes were still on him in the reflection. “I…yeah.”

Finn flicked the bill of Logan’s hat which shaded the back of his neck. “How’s that latest book you bought?”

Logan turned away from the window to get them walking again, not sure where they were going but trusting Finn to lead. “I’m starting school, man, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

Finn just laughed. “Come on, let’s catch the 6.”

Logan found himself squeezed into a tiny French restaurant in the West Village that served them even tinier croissants.

“I know the chef,” Finn said popping one he had spread jam and butter on into his mouth. “Dumo. Don’t pay a cent. I fucking love these things.”

Logan would have bought Finn a thousand of the tiny pastries without a blink just to see him lick a bit of jam from his thumb again.

“Dumo doesn’t sound very French…” Logan began cutting up his waffle.

Finn laughed. “Pascal Dumais does.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s more like it.”

Logan glanced at a woman and her baby, who had started crying. He tried to think of something to say. For someone who’s job seemed to be making small talk at various parties and charming people with his accent—or so his mother sometimes said—he sure was horrible at it.

“So, what’s the suit for?” Finn asked, taking a sip of his black coffee.

“A fashion show,” Logan sighed, hiding his surprise—and maybe delight—at Finn’s unknowing shrug. “It’s…sort of a lot. Lots of people and cameras. And I always have to wear something green.”

Finn hummed in understanding. “It’s the eyes, yeah?”

Logan nodded. “A lot of fast English, too.”

Finn tilted his head. “I didn’t know that was hard for you. You’re perfect.”

Logan tried not to flush and covered it with a shrug. “I lived in France until I was fifteen before we finally moved to my dad. It’s still nice to be able to read lips sometimes. With the flashes and they make it super dark…I don’t know.”

“No, that makes sense,” Finn said, brown eyes soft. He smiled. “Hey, well, if you don’t want to go to the fitting, come man the shop with me. I’d love the company.”

Logan looked at him and ached, but saw his older sister Noelle’s pleading, excited expression in his mind. He might not love the scene, but he loved his sisters. “I wish I could. Really.”

They finished up their food and Logan had to admit that he lingered over his coffee until Finn said he absolutely had to leave.

“Hey, Tremblay,” Finn called from down the sidewalk, and Logan turned in the full knowledge that seeing the smile Finn sent him would only make him want to stay more.

The dutiful son wants the bookshop boy…I don’t know, Lo. How will their royal highnesses feel about that?

“Come buy more books you don’t read soon, okay?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile back. “D’accord.”

Finn walked backwards a few steps, yelling, “And bring me something green!” before turning and jogging down the subway stairs.

Logan laughed as he called his driver to him, escaping the heat for air conditioned leather.

XOXO

Pearls or diamonds, Upper Siders? Armani or Ralph? What, like you have other questions tonight?

Well, I have one for you. A tip from a friendly scroller gave me a peak at tonight’s guest list. Do you think we’re in for more than just a showdown on the runway? Cat fights over cat walks is what I always say.

XOXO.

[Image description: Two name cards reading, from left to right, Leo Knut and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Sebastian Montague]

Remus found Julian already dressed and tapping at a game on his phone when he descended the winding staircase of their penthouse.

“You waiting for mom and dad?” Remus said, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

“And you,” Julian said.

“Right, right,” Remus smoothed his black tuxedo, trying to ignore the subtle glint of blue-silver embroidered into the black velvet. His mother was a planner—which Remus liked usually—but this design had not aged well. This suit had a twin that it no longer belonged with. Remus clenched his jaw as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He’d hoped wearing it would feel like defiance.

But it only felt like he was lonely. He gave his head a hard shake. He had Leo. He couldn’t let New York throw him.

“Gossip Girl’s going crazy. Of course,” Julian said.

“Jules, you shouldn’t read that stuff,” Remus sighed. “It’s just gossip—”

“Just posted about Sirius,” Julian murmured.

Remus huffed, pushing his hair out of its too neat style in the mirror. “So?”

Julian shrugged, but pointedly looked away when Remus took out his own phone.

The photo looked like one from the paparazzi, but the sight of Sirius on the red carpet made Remus’ throat close up.

I spy a statement piece. Or maybe it’s just a statement. Sirius Black arrives on the red carpet—or should I say black carpet—with none other than New York’s favorite icon, in worship and fashion alike. The Saint of these streets is looking particularly dashing tonight, hand in hand with the heir of this city. Ouch, Re. Looks like you’ve been dethroned.

Remus stared down at the screen, neck hot. Sirius’ suit sleeves had the barely there leather half moon cut-outs that Remus remembered tracing onto his skin.

Sirius had smiled into their kiss. Think anyone will notice?

Remus had just laughed. Everyone will notice.

But there was Saint, a crown of moonstones in his golden hair.

Remus looked down at his own suit. Of course Saint had thought of a way they’d match, that was all it was, but it still felt like a snub.

“I sort of miss him,” Julian said quietly.

Remus’ heart pulled. He swallowed and clicked his phone off. He looked at Julian, who looked almost sheepish.

“Do you?” Julian asked even more quietly.

“Don’t you like Leo?” Remus asked.

“Of course,” Julian nodded quickly. “But…”

“Remus,” Hope smiled, coming down the stairs arm-in-arm with their father. “Jules. Ready, boys?”

Remus didn’t think saying no was an option. He cleared his throat, pushed his hair back.

“Almost,” he said, backtracking towards the stairs. “Just a second. Gotta call Leo, make sure he hasn’t left yet.”

XOXO

“We can watch a livestream of the red carpet and the show,” Natalie said. “Sit.”

Finn groaned, squished beside Natalie on her tiny sofa. “That feels like I’m stalking him.”

“We’re allowed to stalk the boys we like.”

“You’re dating my brother, Nat. Does this mean you stalked him?”

“It really does,” Alex said, coming in from the kitchen with their margaritas and dropping a kiss to Natalie’s temple.

“Hm,” Natalie smiled up at him, accepting a kiss to her lips. “Scruffy.”

Finn sighed and pulled a knee up to his chest, watching the loading video Natalie had pulled up.

“Your wifi sucks,” he mumbled.

“It’ll load,” Natalie scooted over for Alex and passed Finn his drink.

“Salsa, too,” Finn said, waving it over.

Finally, the video popped up to a view of the red carpet.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex said.

“Be nice,” Natalie laughed. “It’s fashion!”

“Look,” Alex sighed. “I know they’re wealthy and it’s suppose to be all, I don’t know sandy beaches and wristwatches, but not a single one of these people look remotely happy. Like take a look at this guy—“

Finn looked over the sandy-haired man posing in front of the cameras—well, not posing, really. Kasey Winter, the commentators were saying.

“Nice hair,” Natalie crunched on a chip. “And listen to that, his mother’s one of the biggest producers at Weird Sisters Records.”

“Fine, but he looks like he’s ready to kill someone. I mean, anyone else think its kind of fucked up that the New York families go to a New York university where New York businesses draw from New York’s elite?”

“Yes,” Finn and Natalie said in unison.

And then there was Logan.

Finn let out an embarrassing sound and set his drink down, leaning forward.

Logan walked out in front of the cameras with three girls—his sisters, Finn remembered. Not to mention he followed all of them on Instagram. They had a lot of shoes, sure, but they seemed all right.

“I saw this thing on Gossip Girl about one of the sisters,” Natalie said. “She—”

“Nat, why the hell do you read that?”

Natalie shot him a look. “Like you don’t.”

Finn ignored them, too focused on the dark, nearly black, velvety green cape—or was it cloak?—that covered Logan’s shoulders down to above his elbows, falling to an elegant point at the small of his back over his black suit. The sisters had a similar get-up in one way or another—a green train, a shawl, a corset. Logan’s clasp was a silver fleur-de-lis.

“Green,” Finn breathed.

“What?” Alex asked.

Finn bit the inside of his cheek at Logan’s expression. It was meant to be blank, Finn thought, at-ease and untouchable, but it came off almost enticing. His dark eyelashes swept against his cheeks. Finn watched his throat bob around a swallow, his adored eyes shifting from flash to flash.

“Nothing,” Finn answered his brother.

“How’d you meet this kid anyway, Fish?” his brother asked.

“I was closing up shop about a month ago,” Finn said. “And he stopped at one of our windows. Looked like he’d run the entire island, he was breathing so hard. Not to mention it was pouring like nothing else. Thought he was gonna pass out, so I unlocked the door and let him in to get dry. I don’t know, he was kind of shy at first. Listened to me talk for about an hour before he started giving anything back.” Finn shrugged, watching Logan walk off screen. “I invite him to play basketball with me, Morg, and Percy now. We get lunch after sometimes.”

Natalie sighed. “He looked like one unhappy camper.”

“I think his family puts a lot of pressure on him. He’s the baby. Only son. All that bullshit.”

“I kind of want that cape,” Natalie said.

Alex sighed. “That’s the idea.”

Natalie slapped his chest, then kissed his cheek, and Finn watched Logan walk off-screen.

XOXO

“What say you, Capulet?”

Sirius looked down at Saint at his shoulder. “They’re out of crab puffs.”

“Boo,” Saint said. “You still closing the show?”

“Yep.”

“Shouldn’t you be in hair and makeup?”

“Yep.”

Saint stepped in front of him, the gold band of moonstones nestled in his curls glinting in the dark stage lights. “Looking for someone?”

Sirius just reached out and ran a gentle thumbnail beneath where Saint’s golden eyeliner had smudged against his brown skin, striking it back to a point. “Nope. See you after the show.”

Saint clucked his tongue. “I’m unimpressed.”

“What else is new?” Sirius said.

Saint went to smile, when his eyes flickered behind Sirius and he raised his eyebrows. “That.”

Sirius turned around, and quickly schooled his expression. The cameras were going wild, and in front of all the flashing lights was Remus, hand-in-hand with Leo Knut.

“They make a sunshine pair,” Saint said from beside him. “How’re you feeling?”

Sirius touched two fingers to one of the black-leather moons on his jacket sleeve. They were meant to go with Remus’ stars. He remembered planning for them. He’d thought…part of him had thought if he’d worn them tonight—

“Cloudy sky,” he replied to Saint.

“I was gonna say dappled sunlight in…” Saint glanced around. “A dark forest.”

Remus and Leo were wearing dress shirts, collars rumpled and unbuttoned at their throats, each in a smooth shade of cream. Their hands, decked out in golden rings, were laced together, and they both wore pale gray slacks, slim cut, and laceless nikes.

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun…hmm, but don’t I spy some burning jealous?

“What are we going for here,” Saint raised an eyebrow. “Left in a hurry and didn’t get the dress code?”

“We’re going against me,” Sirius replied, slipping his hands into his pockets and trying to stand straight. “That’s all.”

“Sunlight in a dark forest, indeed.”

Sirius watched them looking out over the flashes, and tried not to look surprised when golden eyes met his own. Remus’ expression didn’t change either. Instead, he simply blinked, then looked away. Leo, tall and lean, leaned into his ear, and Remus smiled. The cameras popped like champagne.

I love right here, Sirius remembered his own voice, the feeling of the soft skin by Remus’ eye beneath his thumb. I love right here when you smile.

“I need to get backstage,” Sirius said shortly, and turned on his heel.

“I’ll be watching.”

“Don’t I know,” Sirius called as he weaved his way through the crowd, heading backstage. The woman with a radio in her ear looked annoyed and nervous when he slipped past her, and radioed that he had arrived to whoever it was that needed to know.

“Sirius!” Alice called, hands full of makeup brushes and up in the air. “Jesus Christ, do you think I have all fucking night?”

Sirius shrugged out of his red carpet jacket—which someone took—and slid into her chair. “Sorry, Al.”

She twirled a protective cape around his shoulders, snapping it at the base of his neck. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty. But then again, I think everyone’s pretty.”

Sirius closed his eyes, letting her begin. “People are.”

Alice had just finished contour when Sirius all but felt his mother’s presence. A shift in the air. A cooler wind. People standing up straighter and shivering.  

“Sirius,” his mother’s face appeared in the mirror. Her red lipstick was the brightest thing about her, and even that was almost mauve. Her dress was tight around her breasts, but cascaded in thick waves of velvet behind her, and she wore tall leather boots. It almost looked like armor. “You’re very late, darling.”

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “Saint and I got caught up in the crowd, I guess.”

She hummed. “You two looked fetching out there. He’s much more pleasing than that other boy ever was. His family is important, too.”

It was true, that his mother had never liked Remus much. Though, Sirius couldn’t compare him and Saint. They were two different oceans.

“Get dressed,” his mother breathed, and was already snapping her fingers at one of the other models before Sirius could say another word.

“All right?” Alice asked him quietly.

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror. Her contour made his face look almost gaunt, as was the general makeup for all of the models, and he knew he’d be given dark eye makeup next, his hair fluffed into perfect curls.

“Fine,” Sirius said, and closed his eyes to let her work.

Sirius was shrugging into his given outfit—a billowing longcoat, 20th century in fashion, and a longer tunic made almost entirely of the thinnest black silk. It would shimmer when he walked, he knew, and his tall, lace-up boots, the flat sole so thin and delicate that he almost felt barefoot, would disappear beneath the shimmer. His mother was cold, stubborn, and cruel sometimes, an unfeeling, yawning sort of dark, but she was talented.

“Lord Vader,” came a voice from behind him, and Sirius laughed even before he turned to face Thomas Walker.

“Sounds about right,” Sirius said, and they clasped hands, pulling them into a one-armed hug. “You look fantastic, though.”

Thomas spun slowly on his heel, letting the long, loose fitting white linen of his button-down—which went out in two, tuxedo-like tails at his back—flare out above his slim, black trousers. He wore a thin scarf of distressed wool.

“Like a fallen gentleman, no?” Thomas grinned. “I might try and steal these pants. And maybe the shirt for Noelle.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius smiled, spying Noelle’s green eyes behind his shoulder. “She’ll love that.”

Noelle wrapped her arms, which were draped in a transparent green cloth, around Thomas’ waist. “Thanks for thinking of me, T baby.”

Thomas laughed in surprise. “Who let you back stage?”

“I’m a Tremblay, they’ll let us in anywhere.”

Thomas turned his head to capture Noelle in a soft kiss.

“See you after, hm?” Noelle said. “I’m gonna go say hi to my friend, she’s walking tonight, too.”

“Yeah, we’ll ride to Honeyduke’s together.”

Noelle raised an eyebrow at him. “You coming, Black?”

“Saint all but owns the place,” Sirius said. “Of course I am.”

Sirius walked. He didn’t look down, or hear the cameras. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, to be up here, not able to see past the lights—but something tonight was different. It felt as it had the night of his and Remus’ first kiss.

In that show, he had had one, thin line of black lipstick traced over the center of his bottom lip. It had marked Remus’ throat and cheeks like soot by the end of it all.

Remus had been waiting for him back stage.

“Come here,” Remus had whispered, and laced their fingers together.

“Where?” Sirius had answered, surprised by their palms pressing together.

But it hadn’t been a place. Remus had pressed them back in between clothing racks, and crashed their mouths together.

Here, Remus had whispered, and kissed him again.

Sirius felt the absence of the stage lights like a wash of cold air, and he stretched out his back, letting his stony face drop a little. He glanced around, but there was no one to be found. His cheeks were warm just thinking about it.

“Good,” his mother said as he passed her by to take off the makeup, and that was all.

XOXO

Saint looked across Honeyduke’s and felt like it was his. Logan was laughing with Thomas and Noelle, and he had Kasey Winter beside him, securing tickets to one of their favorite bands to see together.

“Done,” Kasey said, and flashed one of his rare smiles.

“I knew you were my favorite,” Saint took a sip of his drink, and Kasey scoffed.

“Me or my mom?”

“Maybe a little of both. Oh, and we’re going to sushi beforehand.”

Kasey’s smile was larger now. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. You gonna leave with that drummer again? What’s her name?”

Saint smiled. “Oh, Sally. And I make it a habit to always leave with the drummer.”

Kasey just shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting a drink and leaving you to your one-liners.”

Saint watched him go, feeling settled, and set about scanning the room for Sirius. He was sure he’d know if he was there—people tended to swarm to Sirius, even if he didn’t ask for it. It was part of the reason they were so close. People flocked to Saint, too. So, they asked for each other’s company. A more intimate, calm part of life. Sirius was quiet. Saint wasn’t, but he let Saint , for a moment, be that way, too. Saint was loud. Sirius wasn’t, but Saint had his ways to fire him up.

“Another drink, sir?”

Saint looked over his shoulder, only to turn all the way around, interest peaked. The bartender had sandy hair, and a strong jaw, his cheeks textured by acne scars in some places. He had brown eyes—save for a sliver of green in one.

“Only if you have one with me,” Saint said, and glanced down at his name-tag. “Luke.”

Luke arched an eyebrow, pressing the heels of his palms onto the bar between them, revealing rolled up sleeves and some type of vine tattoo, wrapping all around both of his forearms.

“I’m working, sir.”

“Is that a later?” he nodded at the tattoo. “Nice.”

“I don’t think so,” Luke said.

“Oh, no?”

Luke scowled—how did he look so handsome doing that?

“Do you make it a habit to go home with all the waiters, too?”

Saint didn’t let his expression flicker, just smiled nice and slow.

“Hillrock,” Saint said. “Neat.”

The barkeep turned away.

Ouch. Looks like not everyone worships at your alter, Saint.

XOXO

The elevator doors opened, revealing the party to Sirius one outfit after the next. He had changed for the afterparty—the first of three. He wore a tight, thin black t-shirt and dark jeans. He hadn’t bothered to wash off the dark, smudged eyeliner from the show. His combat boots went up to just below his knee, and had the same nearly naked feeling sole. It made him feel soundless, like a shadow.

Maybe that’s why it was easy to find Remus and stand beside him without him stirring.

“You’re a little underdressed,” Sirius said without looking at him.

“Says the boy wearing a t-shirt,” Remus replied evenly.

Sirius scowled. “I meant at the show.”

“People like to be surprised,” Remus replied evenly.

“Who’s Leo?”

“My boyfriend.”

Sirius turned towards him. “You didn’t tell me you were coming home.”

Remus matched him. They were nearly chest to chest. “You didn’t say a word to me in class.”

“You didn’t—“

“I had the last word,” Remus snapped. “I figured maybe you’d finally have something to say back.”

Sirius stared at him, heart pounding in his ears. For a moment, he let himself look. At the golden eyes, hair more blond than ever from the summer’s sun. Sirius couldn’t stand that mouth set in a frown.

“Guess not,” Remus said softly, lips dropping open in the way they used to before they kissed.

Sirius all but felt him vanish into the writhing crowd.

XOXO

Finn looked up when a flash of color on the morning-silent street outside caught his eye. He set the books he was holding down, took the pen out from between his teeth.

Green.

“What the hell?” Finn laughed as he pulled open the door to his bookshop to find Logan standing there. “It’s five in the fucking morning, what are you doing here? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Never did,” Logan said, and that’s when Finn saw that Logan was still in his suit from the livestream.

“Ah, I see,” Finn said, eyes flicking up and down his broad form. He swallowed dryly. “The nature of afterparties, I suppose. Well, you—you look good. For someone who’s been up all night, I mean.”

Logan just smiled, one of his small, secretive ones. Finn watched as he stepped forward so they were almost toe to toe in the doorway.

“Wh…” Finn’s voice dropped off with a breathless laugh. He couldn’t help but look at Logan’s mouth. His full lips that could speak a language Finn couldn’t even begin to describe.

Logan just reached up to the base of his own throat and unclipped the fleur-de-lis clasp there. In one smooth swoop, he drew his short cloak from his shoulders and around Finn’s, right over his worn gray t-shirt, clicking it in place. The fabric brought a gentle scent, and he figured it must be Logan’s cologne.

“Something green,” Logan said softly. A warm, early morning breeze ruffled his hair, pushing the curls forward. Finn couldn’t move. “What are you doing here?”

“Inventory,” Finn whispered, then cleared his throat. “Inventory.”

“Okay,” Logan said. “I’ll help.”

#between fifth and you lumosinlove #lumosinlove #gossipgirl!au #wolfstar #wolfstar au #o'knutzy #hazelverse #harry potter #Harry Potter au

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Hi so I saw that requests are still open but still feel free to delete this I was just thinking some hurt/comfort for finn or just straight(no pun intended) up angst because I can’t seem to find any since us in fics I read when Leo or Logan is sad finn is always comforting them? Idk if that made sense so

Hiya! The ratio of hurt/comfort for the cubs is definitely uneven! I hope this is a little bit like what you're looking for!

Characters by @lumosinlove

“Hey Finn,” Leo called from the kitchen as he rooted around in the kitchen drawers. “Have you seen my bookmark? You know the one with the little green tassel?” He fished through the junk drawer, a part of him wondering where the hell they had accumulated all this random stuff from. So far he had come across three golf tees (how did they get there? None of them had ever played golf), four broken pencils and at least six loose key rings, with no actual keys amongst a host of other things.

“I could’ve sworn I saw it here yesterday.” He mumbled as he closed the drawer. “Are you sure you haven’t seen it?”

When no response came, Leo frowned, walking down the corridor to their bedroom. “Finn? You there?” He popped his head round the door of their room, finding Finn staring at his phone, seemingly lost in a daze.

“Finn babe, you alright?”

Finn blinked, looking up, a weak smile on his lips. “Yeah, yeah all good.”

For all intents and purposes, Finn seemed alright. He looked fine, he sounded fine but… Leo could sense that all was not right in Whoville.

“Alright,” He said, toeing off his shoes and jumping onto the bed. “What’s up?”

Finn didn’t turn his head to look at him, instead straining his eyes to gaze down at Leo. “Nothing’s up my dude.”

“My dude,” Leo teased. “Wow, are we bros now? Cause like, that’s cool, but will we have to say ‘no homo’ whenever I suck your dick now or is there some other kind of system we have to work out mmh-”

Leo was cut off, laughing when Finn’s palm covered his mouth. Leo just licked Finn’s hand, the redhead releasing him in favour of wiping Leo's spit off his palm.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” Finn said, finally smiling for real, even as he shook his head in disbelief. “I think the last time someone did that to me, it was Alex and I was twelve.”

Leo just shrugged. “What can I say, I’m young at heart.”

Finn didn’t reply, and Leo waited a few beats to see if he would say anything. Sometimes Finn just needed a moment to gather his thoughts. This however, would turn out to not be one of those times, Finn appeared to be doing his best Kasey impression and staying silent.”

“So are you gonna tell me what’s up or do you wanna just chill quietly?”

Finn shrugged. “It’s dumb.”

Leo quirked an eyebrow. “Nah.”

Finn bit down a smile. “Nah? That’s all you’re gonna say? No convincing me that it’s definitely not dumb?”

Leo shrugged. “Hey, I don’t know what it is, for all I know, it could be dumb.” He bumped their shoulders together playfully before resting his head on Finn’s shoulder. “Doesn’t mean it can’t be important too though.”

Finn sighed, and Leo sensed that he maybe did want to talk about, but hadn’t quite gotten there yet.

“Alright, up you get,” He said, ushering Finn off the bed, “Under the covers, let’s go.”

Finn looked at Leo like he was crazy, even as he climbed under the sheets, the blanket of white creating their own tiny universe where nothing else mattered but them.

(Well, them and Logan but he wasn’t here right now).

“What is it exactly that we’re doing?” Finn asked sceptically, even though he seemed notably more relaxed.

“It’s safe under the covers.” Leo explained, tapping Finn’s shin before hooking their ankles together. “Duh.”

“My boyfriend, so good with words.” Finn drawled and Leo smirked. “Yup, that’s me.”

He let his face soften as he brushed a stray curl out of Finn’s eye. “So what’s the matter sweetheart?”

Finn pursed his lips. “It really is dumb, like, it’s not a big deal.”

Leo didn’t say anything, just blinked and let Finn continue at his own pace.

Finn shrugged, looking at his hands. “I miss home I guess. I fucking love my life here, so much, like you know I do, right?”

“I know,” Leo murmured.

“And I really really do. I just, I don’t know, I miss my mom’s singing even though she’s got a terrible voice and I miss my dad talking a little too loudly and I miss Alex giving me shit for leaving my socks in the living room.”

“It is annoying when you do that.” Leo agreed.

“It just feels a bit ridiculous to be sad because I’m a little homesick when I have the best life I ever could have imagined.”

Leo shook his head. “That’s not dumb.”

Finn smiled a little, finally meeting his eyes. “Oh yeah? You sure ‘bout that?”

A huff of a laugh burst from Leo’s lips, simultaneously rolling his eyes. “I miss home too sometimes. And Logan does too. I know a bunch of the other guys would agree.”

Finn pursed his lips. “Yeah? I dunno, I guess I was just worried you would think I didn’t like my life here.”

Leo deadpanned Finn right in the eye. “Finn sweetheart, you say the phrase ‘I love my life’ so often that we got it printed on a t-shirt for your birthday.”

Finn laughed, ducking his face into the curve of Leo’s neck. “I love that t-shirt.”

Leo smiled, pressing a kiss to Finn’s curls. “You know, we don’t have enough time off to go to New York, but we could definitely have your parents come stay with us for a few days if you wanted.”

Finn looked up at him, brown eyes wide and hopeful. “Yeah? You think Lo would be okay with that?”

Leo laughed, and kissed Finn soundly. “Finn babe, I think Lo loves them more than you do.”

“Who do I love more?” A voice called from the doorway and before either Leo or Finn could move, a heavy weight settled on top of them. “Wait, where’s the top?” They heard Logan mumble as he searched for the opening of the sheets before pulling them back and sinking into bed between them, the covers pulled back over their heads quickly.

“Salut,” Logan grinned, giving them both a quick kiss before nestling into Finn’s arms. “It’s warm in here, we should do this all the time.”

Finn and Leo shared an amused look over the top of his head.

“We were thinking of asking Finn’s parents to come stay for a few days.” Leo said and Logan nodded.

“Ouais, yes we should definitely do that. I need me some Mrs O’Hara time.”

Finn chuckled and Leo grinned, catching Finn’s hand and squeezing it gently.

“Cool, then that’s what we’ll do.”

(And they did).

#coast to coast lumosinlove #lumosinlove #finn o'hara #leo knut #logan tremblay #o'knutzy #lionfish #hurt/comfort #angst #well not really #but kinda #sweater weather lumosinlove #fluff

[nachohypno]

Nate and Dave - Ch. 15

Dave’s POV

I’m sure you already know how much a single person can change a whole lot of your way to see the world, or have your life take a 180° turn (Had to look this up, angles are weird.) just by standing in a corridor.

Now I was just happy to stare at my phone’s unlocked background. A pic I took of us while cuddling. I was kissing his cheek and staring at the camera, while he just laid below me, his face had a little smile and his eyes were closed.

He loved that pic. I loved it too, it was both cute and wholesome. Never been one to do those things, nor even Leslie managed to get me to change my Dallas’ Cowboys background, and we had a lot more pics together than Nate and I do.

It was a nice distraction. I would sometimes just unlock my phone to see that pic and feel a bit warm inside as I imagined spending more time with my soulmate. I loved him a lot, and I wouldn’t mind sticking around with him for a day, or two, or the rest of my life, just to make sure he has all he needs to be happy like I am when I’m near him.

We sat together at school, yeah. Nobody batted an eye. We hung out during our breaks, still no big catastrophe happened. After school, we usually have a date or spend some time together before heading to our respective houses (As much as I’d like, having daily sleepovers wouldn’t be wise).

According to… everyone in the world who knows that I’m hanging out with Nate (Which may be just 2 or 3 people that I’m aware of), the guy had a really positive impact on my behavior. He’s always encouraging me to help whenever I can and to be… nicer, in general.

I’ve already apologized to one of my favorite targets a few weeks ago, but decided to fully leave them alone. In my house, however, I’ve been trying to honor my soulmate’s wishes doing some house chores to help mom and pops around. I still don't think I'm ready to 'change my public image' that much. Kicking nerd's asses is fun... but mean and unnecessary.

Mowing the lawn, going grocery shopping, cleaning around whenever my parents seemed quite tired to do it, that kind of thing. My room wasn’t a messy place before, but now I could spend less time looking for my stuff!

And now… Nate was at his house. I left him there per his request, he told me we could hang out later today! But first, he had some homework to do.

I looked around and noticed the door was closed. I dropped my shirt and pants, felt the locket’s cold metal against my chest, and dropped on my bed.

I wasn’t intending to take a nap, just close my eyes and think of my soulmate was a nice enough plan for my evening.

As I closed my eyes, images of my first day with him invaded my happy place. Me getting his scent, slowly walking over to his locker, and noticing the guy I never paid attention to, the one that sat a few rows in front of me, and was usually in the middle of the way when I threw paper balls around.

Now that I thought of it, maybe I never noticed him because he always hid? He was hiding right now; it was obvious that he was using his locker as a cover. I stood there, though. Taking in the smell. Feeling myself realizing more and more of that nice thought I had never thought about after my pops told me about that weird phenomenon.

…I had found my soulmate. The love of my life… It wasn’t my girlfriend, but a guy from my class… I frowned both in the real world and in my fantasy.

In the fantasy world, I lifted and kissed him. He didn’t fight back, just returned the love I was giving him by returning my kiss. I didn’t care if anyone watched us. I loved this guy, and I still do now.

I love Nate Hall.

I rubbed my crotch in the real world, as I kept kissing him in my fantasy. That was more than enough. A single kiss, a single thought about my soulmate being happy and in love with me could make me so hard and horny…

“Dave?” A voice said. My soulmate’s? It sounded so different though… I kept kissing him. This was perfect. He was perfect. He was the love of my life, of course he was perfect! “Daaaaave?”

Was there someone invading my fantasy? Oh, wait…

I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face standing there, wide eyed. I had my hand on my hard crotch, rubbing it. This was definitely an uncomfortable position to be found at. I could normally hear when people are walking towards my room, but maybe I was so out of it this time that I didn’t hear him.

“Fuck, sorry— Didn’t wanna—” My cousin said. What the fuck was he doing here, anyway?! In my room! When the fuck did he arrive?!

“Shut the fuck up! And close the door!” I commanded, feeling anger building up on my chest, totally replacing the warm feeling from a few seconds ago.

Brad Walker. My cousin was my height, which was a bit funny given that he was a few years older than me. He was muscled too, but his shoulders seemed wider as his torso formed a sort of upside down triangle. He was a rugby player, maybe it had to do with that.

By looking at his face alone, he could pass as a brother because of the resemblance. He had the Walker’s smile, looking both chilled while also managing to look a bit menacing to keep everyone in their toes.

Doesn’t give him much use, given that he’s a Beta.

Brad closed the door behind him, and laid back on it. “Off to a rocky start, I guess. Let’s try that again… Hey, cuz!”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could feel the anger diminishing. I thought of my soulmate, how would he react if he saw me like this. He would want me to be nice and polite to my cousin. I wanted that too, I wanted to be nice to him. I’m so hot-headed sometimes…

I smiled at Brad, and took a few steps forward to give him a bro hug. After that, I walked over to my bed and sat on the edge. “Hey man, wat’cha doin’ around here?”

“Uncle hasn’t told you? Pops and him thought about doing a little reunion, so we drove over and… here we are.” Brad left his hands in his pockets as he looked around. I noticed I was still almost naked, but didn’t give it much thought. I did put some shorts on, though. “Just the big guys, though. Mom was tired and decided to stay at home with the young ones, so it’s just pops, Logan and me today. The guys asked me to get you downstairs, so… shall we go?”

I pointed to my almost naked body. “Give me a few minutes, alright?”

-----

Dressed up in some shorts and a grey tank top, I walked downstairs with Brad following me closely.

Pops was there, with his brother and my other cousin. I walked over to Logan and gave him a brohug. I liked my cousins, they were like brothers.

“Hey man,” Logan greeted me after the hug. It was nice seeing him. Well, like, nice and not nice, because he was pretty annoying sometimes. So I hoped he didn’t get very annoying tonight. “Damn, you look buffed. Taking steroids already?”

I rolled my eyes. “Why do you ask? Need some to stop being so thin, cuz?”

“I swear I still don’t know how he's not broken after kicking that ball. Y’look like a stick, bruh” Brad backed me up. I liked that about Brad, he was pretty loyal.

Logan laughed. He’s not one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. He’s pretty easy going in that regard. Would need to learn from him, because I am one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. “Don’t pull my dick, assholes” He punched my shoulder, softly.

Even though Logan was a year older than me, he was an ass. And that’s coming from me.

Logan… He was alright, I guess. Not really very muscly like me or Brad, nor our parents for that matter. That’s because he liked soccer, ugh. Not even weightlifting, nah. Just soccer and cardio.

That got him looking well in a soccer uniform with long socks and knee pads, but… I really should reconsider his standing in my pack. Meh, might as well let him in just because he’s family, but I’ll most likely order him to start working out more to be a real wolf bro. (I’ll get into this later.)

“Uh… don’t wanna be rude or anythin’ but… how long are you guys staying? Thought about having a friend coming over and-”

“Ooooh, is it your girlfrieeend?” The soccer cuz said, moving his fingers towards my face. I slapped his hand off me, and he laughed. “Big meanie Daveee has a girlfrieeeend” He was like a little kid when it came to annoying others, and the worst part was that he nailed it.

“Oh, shut it, bro. You’re just jealous- Wait, that’s not what I was going to ask”

“Dad and uncle Adam thought about doing some beefs for tonight, soooo… family dinner, I guess? We don’t really hang out often, so I thought it would be nice. Besides, we all love beef” Brad answered, holding his arms behind his head and stretching for a bit.

“We’re about to leave, actually,” Uncle Thomas said, grabbing his car keys. “Gonna buy some meat and drinks for tonight. Y’guys wanna come? Hey cub, haven’t seen you in months...” 

I greeted my uncle with a firm handshake, before he gave me a little punch on the abs. “Strong as a rock. Not bad, kiddo.” He ruffled my hair, before turning his attention back to my pops.

I was a bit too worried to think about hitting the store. Nate was supposed to come after he finished his homework, so we could spend the night together. I was supposed to pick him up. Fuck, what am I gonna do?

I shook my head and remained silent. Brad followed suit with a “Yeeaaah… No, been in that car for an hour and I’d really like to move my legs.”

“Pussies,” Logan said in a snarky tone. I raised my eyebrow, but decided to take care of him later. “I’ll go, may find some hot chicks in this friggin’ town…” 

My uncle looked similar to my dad, just a few little differences. Dark blond hair, a bit longer. Their sizes were similar, but my dad was bigger. It was weird to think that my uncle was the one who activated the werewolf curse in a bar fight and not my dad.

If you kill someone, whether it was intentional or accidental, you can’t transform into neither your werewolf or full wolf forms without experiencing a lot of pain. Could be avoided by never turning into those forms but…

Transformation is mandatory during the full moon. This whole thing seemed really thought out to punish those who don’t follow the rules, right?

Brad grabbed my arm “Hey, since we’re staying behind apparently, wanna catch up?” He pointed back to the stairs, probably wanting to go to my room.

I nodded, nothing better to do. And it would give me some time to think about what excuse I could give Nate.

Again in my room, Brad closed the door behind me. “So… a friend? I mean, the locket already gave me an idea but I didn’t you were bringin’ her to your place already…”

“It’s nothing, really…” It was something, a lot. I loved wearing this locket, it reminded me of Nate. Thus meaning, it was pure bliss in a single necklace.

“So, what’s the locket for? Always thought you’d end up with that Leslie chick you talked so much about” Oh, I forgot. My cousins never met my ex.

I shook my head, but was kind of hesitant to talk about it. In the end, I eased myself to the idea as I thought more about Nate. “Got a soulmate now, cuz.” Was my answer. I was proud of myself! Not even a half of the average werewolf population gets to meet their soulmate once in their lives!

I was lucky, it was like, one in a whatever-number-of-people-there-are-in-Earth!

“Waitwaitwait, not gettin’ it. So, you and Leslie… or is it another girl?”

“It’s a guy, his name is Nate” I mumbled out quickly. I wasn’t embarrassed, but at the same time, I felt like a chunk of ice just fell through my stomach. 

Silence.

“So… you’re gay now?” Brad said, giving me a thumbs up. “It’s alright, I don’t mind gay people”

I honestly couldn’t get how he got that assumption. “What? What makes you think that?”

“You’re with a guy, like dating and loving him and you even have a locket… I mean, that’s pretty gay. But it’s cool, it’s not that weird. Lots o’ people take some time to discover their sexuality and stuff— Uh… Cuz?”

I stared at him. Not staring, actually. I was glaring at him.

Brad gulped. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” While he did sound afraid, his face displayed a mix of nervousness and worry. I always laughed at him when he asked if he fucked up, like it was a regular thing for him to do but still needed other’s approval about it.

I just glared at him, making sure he knew I wasn’t happy. I walked forward and held my gaze into his, trying out my favorite part of being an alpha.

As I focused on him, his expression slowly started to relax, then vanish, as his pupils dilated.

“On your knees” I commanded, making sure he got it as an order, not a ‘humble request’.

His blank face didn’t move an inch, as he dropped to his knees and looked forward. His eyes, besides the pupils being dilated, looked glazed over as his irises changed from hazel to pure yellow. The beta color!

“Who’s your alpha?” I mocked him, as he blankly stared ahead.

“You are, sir. David Walker is my alpha” Brad droned. I ruffled his hair. He was a good beta. 

“And who do you have to be respectful towards?”

“My alpha, sir. Being respectful towards their alphas is the sign of a good beta, sir” Brad answered, in a matter of fact voice.

…I should probably explain what the heck is going on.

I’m an alpha. I’ve mentioned quite a few times already, but I never mentioned anything about other ranks.

You have omegas, who are wolves without a pack. They’re usually weaker than alphas and betas. Then there are the betas, werewolves already in a pack.

Omegas can survive quite well on their own, it’s not a requirement to have a pack. But if you want to get stronger… Getting an alpha is the best you can do.

That’s one of the reasons Pops is so proud of me. He and mom conceived an alpha in their first try! Nate usually nerds out about me sounding like a “Jerry Stud” whatever the fuck that is.

So, since I’m an alpha, both my older cousins are ‘my pack’ to call it some way. And you just got to see one of my favorite alpha skills.

Much like a soulmate bond, being a beta for an alpha makes them completely loyal to the alpha, which means… I have some degree of control over them. Not as much control as my love has over me, but still… It’s fun!

“So, won’t you apologize for calling me a fag— Uh… gay?” I’m still getting used to not using that word. Everything for my Nate. Can’t be a bully anymore, right?

I didn’t have to ask twice. Brad seemed to struggle a bit against it, but after a few seconds he said “I apologize, sir. I didn’t intend disrespecting you like that…” It was a cold, empty apology. But it did the trick. I’m not a picky guy, he’s my cuz after all.

But that did make me wary. Should I tell Nate to not come after all, at least until these guys leave? Fuck, they were going to ruin my evening with my soulmate.

“Uh… what do you think about my soulmate being a guy?” I walked in front of him, back and forth. I was trying to think what would be the wisest decision here. A second opinion would be useful.

“I personally don’t care, sir. You can love whoever you want, especially if you met your second half.” My cousin answered.

“I mean, yeah. But what would Uncle Thomas and Logan say if they found out about it?” I should uh… ‘wake him up’ or whatever already. But I liked him this way. You can say I’m a dominant guy. Not saying I lust over my cuz, that would be incest, but ordering him around is fun.

“I don’t really know. He’s your soulmate, they shouldn’t say anything. Logan is a fellow beta though, it wouldn’t be wise to fear anything from him. He’s as loyal to you as I am, my alpha.” Not going to lie, I loved hearing that.

Being in control of the situation, having everyone in my surroundings looking forward to being with me, or do as I say out of fear/respect/whatever… That’s why I loved the not-studying-part of school!

As a little reward for his opinion, I did what Nate would have done to me if I did particularly good: Scratch the back of his ear. Brad’s head got some emotion again, as he got closer to my hand and started panting with his tongue out.

“There, there. Good beta cuz” I mumbled, as I machinated a plan in my head. I had an idea, but it would be a bit… not ideal. I stopped scratching the good spot, and his expression blanked out again. I crouched in front of him, and looked straight into his eyes. “I want you to listen very clearly to me, understood? Listen and do as your alpha says…”

If Brad wasn’t in ‘beta mode’ before, then he definitely was now. His irises were still a bright yellow, but his pupils were even smaller now. “I’d do anything for my alpha, sir” placing a hand on his chest. I knew what that symbolized, I used that expression with Nate before. It freaked him out a little.

“Y’know, my soulmate is kinda a big deal for me so… I want you to treat him like a king, alright? No mean or cocky comments, just be nice to him and I’ll be nice to you, got it?” I had to search for the words to say this, it wasn’t really a piece of cake as I expected. “Think of him as an extension of your alpha. Make him feel good and do what he says, and you’ll be good to go.”

He frowned a bit, but his face quickly eased up. “As you command, my alpha. Your soulmate’s wellbeing will be my top priority, sir.”

Yeah, that’s more like it. “Get up now.” I said and just… walked away from him. I wasn’t interested in bossing him around anymore, not for now at least. But actually…

“Lift your shirt.” One last command wouldn’t hurt, and he obeyed without a question, like a good beta. I walked towards him and gave him a little punch on his abs. Didn’t even flinch, he was keeping up with me! Of course, I wanted the best for my pack! “And… Beta out.”

My cousin snapped out of whatever that was, his yellow irises returning to a nice hazel, as his pupils got back to normal. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and smiled. “Huh, 5 minutes. Wonder what you did there” The guy said, smiling at me.

He couldn’t get mad at me. I was his alpha! I mean, he could… but there wasn’t much he could do about it!

“Meh, you don’t really care, do you?” I said, trying to sound uninterested.

Brad shook his head. “Nah, I really don’t. I really trust ya, cuz. Best alpha around!” Couldn’t tell if he was following the ‘you don’t really care’ thing, or if he was being honest, but I didn’t really care.

“That’s a good beta” I mumbled, going closer to him again to scratch the back of his ear. God bless Nate and discovering that hidden pleasure for me. I loved when he did that to me, as I mentioned, and I loved doing it to other wolves, too!

“What are you two ladies doin’ up here- What the hell are you two doing?” Logan entered the room. My other older cousin, although younger than Brad. Rather than being as muscular as we were, he was more chilled. Yeah, he was in good shape, but he didn’t look like a big gym bro like us.

This was probably due to him preferring Soccer rather than football or rugby. Each to their own, but soccer isn’t that fun to begin with? I tried to not give it much thought and respect his hobbies.

“Brad, close the door and put on some music.” I ordered him, walking over to Logan and wrapping an arm around his small soccer player’s shoulders. “You just made my whole evening way easier, lil’ cuz”

I wondered if Nate would like this. I’d have to send him a message telling him that I wouldn’t be able to pick him up… That felt bad, but at least these guys wouldn’t bother him tonight!

-------

Nate’s POV

Dave invited me to his house, but asked me to walk over. He told me we could have a family dinner, which was alright. I liked his family. Mr. Walker was funny and Ms. Walker was really nice to us. We just had one family dinner and Dave spent most of his time zoned out.

And also, there was a full moon, which I didn’t get to see.

Was I glad they considered me ‘family’? It pushed me out of my freaking mind when Dave sent me that text.

I was walking slowly. Not like a snail and doing baby steps, but I felt like I should slow down as much as I could and… be fashionably late? It was a good walk, from my house to his. But I didn’t mind.

The town was quiet, not much stuff happening as I walked out of my house, and on the way to Dave’s neighborhood.

I thought about buying some ice cream or some nice dessert to make a good impression this time, but hey, I don’t really think they’ll care about it that much. They highly prefer meat, as far as I know.

Stopping in the middle of the way, I grabbed my phone and checked my maps app. “Should have arrived 10 minutes ago… fuck, that shortcut would have been really useful…” I mumbled to myself, changing my route and getting back on the way.

I was nervous at fuck, that maybe explained my silliness. And I also never walked to this part of town. It wasn’t… bad, but it was a bit more private than the usual neighborhoods, which fits Dave’s family pretty well due to them being werewolves, and stuff like that.

I still had some time to cancel and be like “Oh, hey. My… hamster pet is sick and I want to look after him?” I kind of sucked at making up excuses, that's why I never wanted to be late on homework due to laziness.

It was late now, just another block and...

I reached Dave’s house. It was weird arriving here on my own. Guess I really got used to my soulmate acting as my personal driver.  

The rooms inside were on, Dave’s car and his dad’s were outside the garage. The closer I got to the front door, the louder I would hear laughter coming from inside. Were they having  visits? It didn’t sound like Dave’s laugh. His laugh was… deep and dumb-sounding.

I stopped now. What if they had visits? What if Dave didn’t tell them I was coming? I was shaking a bit, before taking a deep breath. 

Taking my final steps to be in front of the main door, I knocked and waited for someone. Loud footsteps later, Adam Walker (Dave’s dad) opened the door.

“Hey bud. Didn’t know you were coming, but uh…” He motioned inside with his head. “Come in, the big guy is in his room with his cousins. We’re having a family dinner”

“Thanks, mr. Walker-” But he stopped me as I set a foot on the door. The older man leaned in and started whispering.

“Don’t be afraid. If you don’t want to be picked on tonight, try your best to not sweat as you did the last time. Dave will probably have you covered, though.” He patted my back, and moved aside to let me in. After that, he closed the door behind me. “Dinner will be ready in a bit so… feel free to go mingle with the guys upstairs.”

Uh… that wouldn’t be needed, apparently. Dave and a pair of guys were coming downstairs, and as soon as my puppy boy saw me, he rushed towards me to give me a big tight hug. “Missed you a lot, bruh! Didn’t know there was going to be more family tonight so… I’m really sorry for that. But I’m sure we’ll have a good time!”

The other two guys just stared at me, arms folded. One of them was big, and buffed. He had an absent smile, a bit creepy but also inviting. The other was smaller than him (And Dave, for that matter).

“Uh… since your uncle is here, these are…”

“Cousins, yuh” Dave finished the sentence. I made the connection on my own, but it was good to get some confirmation. “Big one’s Brad, small one’s Logan.”

“Hey, I’m not small!” Logan complained, trying to punch Dave’s arm. He didn't seem to do much damage though.

“Yeah, and I’m a bottom, heh” My werewolf jock replied, obviously mocking his cousin. I noticed Brad chuckling, and I couldn’t help but find that funny though. I always wondered if Dave would like to bottom at least once. I feel like he’d be alright if I asked him for it, due to me having full control and all that...

After the introduction was over, and both guys shook my hand, my focus shifted again to who I wanted to be with: Puppy boy was looking at me too.

“I can’t find the words to tell you how glad I am to see you here, though” Dave said, before pulling me in for a good make out session. In the middle of the living room. He was feeling happy or romantic, I assumed? I was surprised his cousins didn’t react at all, and just looked like they were watching some kind of movie.

“Wait, what the heck?” Oh geez.

A man blasted in the living room, and tried to separate me from Dave. The puppy boy reacted quickly though, and pushed him away. “What the fuck, old man?! This is my soulmate!”

Before the guy could go back at us, Dave’s dad popped in to save the day! “You guys just had to hold on for a bit until dinner was ready!” I felt like the ‘complaint’ was more directed towards who-I-thought-was Dave’s uncle, and Dave himself.

The puppy boy seemed a bit angry, he got in front of me and made sure I was out of view. It was a cute touch. I noticed the other two guys taking a step towards us too, like siding with Dave in this.

“Just, calm down, all of you, and start setting the table. Try to not take your eyes out while you do, alright?!” Mr. Walker surely knew how to take care of these situations. Was this a normal thing?

After a long stare, both guys nodded, and we all scrambled.

-----

I was sitting next to Dave and that other guy, Brad. Across me, Mr. Walker looked around with a calm expression, as he chewed on his meat piece. Thomas, Dave’s uncle, wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to me. His eyes were like daggers, fixated on me as I nervously stared at my plate.

It was amazing, and terrifying. The resemblance and also differences between both werewolves were quite noticeable. Mr. Walker was probably calm because he already knew about my thing with Dave. The cousins seemed to be quite attentive towards my every movement and sound. I felt like their eyes would automatically fixate on me at any little sound I would make, which was killing me inside. (Were they glowing yellow? Maybe it was my head playing tricks…)

Was I doing something wrong or offensive? I should excuse myself from the table.

“So…” Uncle Thomas started, before biting a big chunk of beef and gulping it down quickly. “Uh… soulmates, that’s neat. How did you two meet each other?”

‘First family dinner all over again…’ I thought to myself, as I tried to find the words for my answer.

“School, I was just walkin’ around and smelled him. Knew he was the one so… tried my best, huhuh.” Dave saved my ass, although his story was different this time. We lied during the first dinner. I couldn’t remember the excuse anymore, and that’s what bothers me about lies.

They’re usually hard to remember. That’s also the reason I’m a bad liar, my memory is awful.

“Yeah, that’s how it usually happens. You just walk around and get the smell, all the soulmate stories start exactly like that, ain’t that right?” Dave’s uncle looked at his brother next to him, who gave him a really angry looking frown.

“Go fuck yourself, got’cha?” I understood that reaction, The man lost his soulmate, I guess the memories were still painful? I’m no psychologist to tell.

“Yeah, sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that… So uh… back to you, kiddo.” Oh, fuck. Dinner was nice, the meat was delicious! But Dave’s uncle didn’t seem to be… really fond of me. I was glad to see (Not really, now I sound like a dick) that he was bothering Mr. Walker too, so it’s nice to see that the consensus was… Dave’s uncle was a loud mouth ass. “You don't seem to have big muscles, but that's pretty much a given when you're a human."

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, looking up at him. I tried to sound nice and not afraid, like Mr. Walker suggested before but… it was hard. “Not really good at sports and stuff like that, I guess-”

“Can see that. At least you’re a valedictorian, right?” I shook my head. High grades weren't my top priority. I did well at school, but didn’t focus enough for high grades to be a given. “No? That’s too bad.”

“Tom…” His brother tried to calm him. I noticed Dave needed some calm too. The big guy was clenching his fist with a lot of strength, as he held his knife with the other hand. He didn’t seem eager to cut the meat though, so I decided to step in for him.

I grabbed his fist beneath the table, feeling as it relaxed the longer I touched him. At the end, he grabbed my hand too, and I noticed his expression relaxed as well.

“Dad, don’t be such a dick. The guy’s fine, cut it out.” One of Dave’s cousins, big guy, uh… Brad! He seemed to be standing up for me, for some reason. He angrily stared at Dave’s uncle, without an apparent reason.

Uh… I felt like I was missing a big chunk of information here.

The uncle just stared back at his son, a bit surprised by his reaction. But before he could answer, or even react at all, Dave’s dad spoke up. “Well, it’s been fun, a neat reminder of why we never have family reunions, heh.”

“Ow, c’mon. It’s just a big friendly talk between men and…” He looked at me, seemingly ready to strike another insult. I grabbed Dave’s hand tighter.

But Dave’s dad didn’t give him the chance. “Dinner’s over. You guys will be going upstairs.”

“Roger that” I mumbled, leaving my plate with still a good chunk of meat. I didn’t let go of Dave’s hand, but he followed right after me.

“But I wanted a bit more beef...” The other cousin said. Logan, if I remember correctly. He was small, rather than muscled and big. I related to him because of that, glad to see not all male werewolves are big muscular people.

“Take the plate” Brad whispered to him, before following us upstairs.

“Okay, what’s going on-” I started to say, but my boyfriend shushed me.

“I’ll tell you all about it upstairs, just follow me and don’t make loud noises. Remember that they can hear everything in here” Dave interrupted me, as we went to his room. ‘Great, now my werewolf seems to be part of a mafia’.

-----

Locking the door behind us and his cousins, Dave ordered his cousins to stand aside, and they obeyed right away. “I’ll put some music here and…” His phone started playing some loud rock, but not loud enough to make the place feel annoying. “There, we can talk now.”

“Whaaat’s going on? And just tell me already, it feels quite bad to be insulted for no reason.”

“You weren’t really being insulted, bruh. I was.” Dave explained, motioning for me to go closer before leading me to his bed. “Uncle has… a bit of a problem, like pops has. But while pops knows when to shut his mouth, my uncle doesn’t, huh.”

“I don’t really see the insulting part there but continue…” I pointed out, but Dave just chuckled. Which seemed to cause a chain reaction and the werewolves guarding the door in front of us chuckled too.

“Sorry, yeah. Uh, well… My uncle is just bitter because my dad got an alpha son on his first try, me of course” I could figure that out on my own. The ‘I’m an alpha’ part I mean, he says it all the time. “Brad and Logan here are my betas. They were born as omegas, yeah, but I got them in my pack by willing choice because betas are usually stronger than omegas.”

The cousins were on the other side of the room. The small one, Logan, was tasting his meal with delight, while Brad leaned in to… hear our chat? They looked directly at Dave as soon as he mentioned them, before each one of them saying a “Hey” “‘Sup?”

“Why are they so… attentive?” Nosy mode on. I wanted to get answers, mostly because my curiosity was triggered now. ‘Obedient’ would have fitted better than ‘attentive’ though.

“Asked them to take care of you for the night, because I wasn’t sure if It would look good for me to do it. Pops is usually really fond of my uncle, but I think he didn’t like seeing him insulting my soulmate to get to me, bruh” Dave then put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. “I can put them back to normal if you want me to, but… they don’t really mind, so why bother?”

Uhm… I risk myself sounding like a dick right now, but I found the idea of the two cousins under Dave’s control quite arousing… I’m not going to say it to him, of course! I didn’t want him to feel bad or anything if he saw his soulmate interested in other guys…

“Where are they going to sleep, by the way? Or are they leaving after a bit?” It was after dinner already so… it wasn’t a bad thing to ask. Like, we had school tomorrow...

“Living room, sofa. One of them, at least. I’ve got a sleeping bag, because they both can’t fit on the sofa, so while the guest room is occupied by my uncle and… yeah, I’ll go get that old thing. Gimme a sec.”

Dave got up from the bed and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone as the two cousins stared at me.

“Hope the meat is still good…” I told Logan, trying to sound nice. I felt a bit bad, Dave made them look after me, and that made them ‘defend’ me against their father. Yeah, I definitely feel bad now. “Sorry for crashing into the dinner.”

“You kiddin’? You seem like a cool guy, dad was just being an ass. It’s okay though, I think he likes you” Brad answered, and I feel like he’s the one “kiddin’” here. “He’s just… We don’t like family dinners, we do them out of courtesy. Nothing personal, dad can be naturally obnoxious sometimes”

I wanted to say sorry again or something like that, but that’s when Dave bursted in with the sleeping bag. “Y’guys play rock paper scissors to decide who’ll sleep with the alpha… Like, beside me, don’t get weird ideas.”

I chuckled, as Dave threw the sleeping bag next to the cousins, and started taking off his shirt as he walked towards me. “You’re sleeping over, right? It’s still early, but I can make up for the bad time by cuddling, if you’d like.”

To be honest, it felt like a good idea to distract me from that… failed family dinner night. Never again I’ll ‘crash’ into a Walker dinner (Even though Dave knew I was coming over). Too many surprises for a lifetime, thank you.

I laid down, rolled over to leave him room. We wouldn’t be sleeping yet, I hoped. The big guy laid down beside me and quickly pulled me in.

“Fuck…” 

“Yeah!” We turned towards the other guys and noticed Brad had won the rock paper scissors game. Logan just seemed defeated, he grabbed his empty plate and looked over at us.

“Well, g’night bros. Gonna be in the living room, I guess.”

“Buh-bye” Dave said, before turning around again and holding me in his arms. “Sorry again for all that before, bruh. Let's get some sleep, a’ight?”

Honestly, I think I didn't feel as offended as I should have. Best to just let things slide off, I guess. I decided to just nod, and doze off while hearing Brad setting up his sleeping bag. 

I didn’t pay him much mind, though. My puppy boy's hug felt nice enough to help me relax quite quickly...

--------------------

Author’s note:

Took me long enough. But chapter 16 went up already, so gotta keep up with the content.

Chapter 16 is available in my Patreon, but it will go up as soon as I publish Chapter 17 there. Shouldn’t be long, I feel very inspired lately! (Hopefully it won’t take as long as this one did 😅).

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it <3.

#nate and dave #werewolf #mind control #brainwash #gay hypnosis #straight to gay #hypnotized #brainwashing

[lovemeleo]

hii! could you write some o'knutzy fluff?

hey anon, hope you’re doing well and hope you enjoy this little bit of o’knutzy fluff! o’knutzy of course belongs to @lumosinlove.

***

Moving to a completely new part of the country is extremely difficult. Not only are you miles and miles from where you called home for so long, but you’re away from your friends and family too. That was so difficult for Leo. Being in a different climate was extremely hard as well. Gryffindor was extremely different from New Orleans, where the lowest they got during winter was the 40s.

One of the biggest struggles Leo had was the lack of plants. This probably sounded weird, coming from a hockey player but ever since he was little, Leo loved growing things. He loved getting to put a little seed in the ground, watch it grow, and take care of it. It was even better when he got to use what he grew afterward. Leo loved growing different types of peppers, tomatoes, but he loved just growing regular plants as well. Whenever he wasn’t working, in school, or practicing, he could be found in the garden, fingers deep in the fresh dirt.

Sadly when he moved to Gryffindor and in with Finn, he had to give up his garden. They didn’t have a yard, and even if they did, it would be hard to have anything outside with the rapidly changing weather. His mom had been taking care of his garden back home, sending pictures but it wasn’t the same.

After showing his boys his garden when they visited his home, the two began formulating a secret plan. It was obvious their boyfriend missed his garden, missed the plants. It started with lots of research and planning. Finn and Logan spent so much time on gardening websites, asking experts questions, months of looking through plants that would be able to live in their area.

“We need to make sure they’re the plants that can live within Gryffindor,” Finn murmured, biting at his thumbnail as they scrolled through a local greenery’s website. 

Logan’s hand came up, pulling the older boy’s hand from his mouth as he looked over the plants, “Stop biting, you’re gonna bleed. And we can do some pepper plants. Tomatoes. Maybe some garlic, that’d be cool.”

Nodding, Finn added the plants to their cart, “The planter we bought has two levels. So we could do one level with like food plants and one with just regular plants? We’ve got that Fiddle Leaf Fig or whatever, and a couple of others. I think that’ll be good.”

“With the food ones, I think we should just buy the seeds and leave spots open. Leo might want to plant them himself.” Logan said, adding some seed packets to their cart before they paid. 

Leo had left to go home that morning for his mom’s birthday, planning to be back Sunday morning. It was now Friday afternoon and the two boys planned to have Leo’s garden ready when he got home. 

Their order wasn’t ready until Saturday, so as soon as the greenery opened the next day, the boys went and picked it all up. After getting all the plants as well as the needed supplies to their apartment, Logan and Finn got to work. They had purchased an indoor garden that stacked with two shelves that were spread enough to let the bottom shelf still grow tall. 

It took them almost all day to get it all set up. For the food shelf, they filled it with dirt but left the seed packets to the side. The other shelf was filled with different plants that had purified the air as well as some that just looked nice. The boys set up next to their balcony window so it could get sunlight.

Finn let out a sigh of relief as they looked over their finished product, “Well, fuck that was a lot. Don’t know how Leo used to do that every day, especially in the heat. Probably all tan… and sweaty.” His face took on a bit of a dreamy look before Logan swatted at him.

“Now is not the time for that, Harz. We still gotta clean up before gets home tomorrow.” 

A whine was Finn’s only reply as they started to clean, getting the extra dirt off the floor and putting away the additional supplies in their storage closet. 

After a quick shower, both boys stumbled to their bedroom, crawling into bed.

“It’s weird sleeping in here when one of us is missing,” Logan mumbled, his face already pressed into Leo’s pillow. Finn nodded into his back, his head resting against the soft skin of Logan’s shoulder as he closed his eyes.

“He’ll be back tomorrow. Then we can show him the surprise,” Finn said softly, pressing a kiss to his neck as he pulled Logan closer. “Sleep now.”

The boys were up early the next morning, getting the house was ready. They had to be at the airport to pick Leo up at 10 am and wanted to make sure everything was in order when he got home.

“I’m gonna throw the laundry in the dryer and then we can head to the airport,” Logan yelled to Finn who was picking up the kitchen. And by picking up, he was mostly tossing out empty to-go containers. Not much cooking got done when Leo was gone.

As soon as the last container was tossed, Finn was pulling on his jacket, “Alright, let’s go. Don’t want our sunshine out in the cold for too long.” Logan was following not long after, grabbing his keys and wallet before they were out the door. 

Luckily for them, traffic wasn’t bad and they made it just in time; Leo walked out the airport doors as they pulled up.

“It’s unfair how fucking tan he is.” Finn huffed, a pout on his face but anyone could tell he loved how tan Leo got, especially when he went home.

A grin lit up Leo’s face as soon as he saw them, quickly walking to the car and climbing in the backseat, “Hello, mes amours. Missed you.” He said, quickly leaning forward to press a kiss to each of their cheeks as Logan headed home.

“We missed you more, mon soleil. How was your mom’s birthday?” Logan asked, unable to stop himself from glancing back at their boyfriend through the rearview mirror. Fuck, he really did look good.

Leo smiled, resting his head back on the headrest, “Good, very good. She sends her love to the both of you.” 

“But more to me, right? I’m her favorite, non?” Logan said with a grin, glancing at the redhead next to him.

Finn shoved him, almost causing Logan to swerve, “That was before she met you. Now she knows what a shit you are.”

The car was filled with the sounds of their scuffle as Logan tried to fight Finn back while also keeping their car on the road. Leo couldn’t help the fond smile that spread on his face as he watched the two of them. Yeah, he had missed this.

When they got home, Logan and Finn turned to look at him as they got to their front door. Leo raised an eyebrow as he looked between the two of them, “What are y’all looking at it? Sorta creepy just staring at me like that…”

“We have a surprise for you,” Finn said, unable to stop the happy bounce as Logan opened the door. And there it was. His new little garden right in front of their big balcony window.

“W-what?” Leo said, eyes wide as he took in the new addition to their apartment.

Logan bit his lip nervously, “So we saw how much you loved your garden in New Orleans, and we wanted you to have one here…”

“So we decided to make your own little garden. The ones that are already planted are just like regular plants? Some of them purify the air, but others we just got cause we thought they looked pretty.” Finn continued, his anxious excitement causing him to ramble a bit. “We left the other shelf empty because we figured you might want to plant the food ones yourself, but we got a bunch of seeds!”

Leo walked forward, his fingers running gently over the edge of the garden shelves, “I can’t believe you guys did this for me...” He felt his vision blur a bit as he looked up at his boys, wiping at the tears that were forming as his face split into a massive grin. “You guys are too good to me.”

Quickly pulling the other two for a group hug, Finn held the two of them close, “Well, Nutter Butter, you deserve all of the good things.”

All of the planning, research, and digging in the dirt was all so worth it to see that blinding smile on Leo’s face. They’d do it million times, again and again, to keep it there. 

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