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pagannatural · 2 months

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2.01

In My Time of Dying

-Dean looks like he’s witnessing a miracle when he first sees at Sam at the hospital.

-Sam can hear and/or sense Dean at least three times while Dean’s unconscious. He’s the only one. He can’t do this with anyone else at any point. Further evidence their connection is metaphysical.

-Dean references Ghost, a movie about a woman and the ghost of her lover. 👀

-Sam is appalled that John can think of anything but Dean when Dean might die, but Sam was ready to blow right past the possibility of saving John in order to get revenge last episode. One thing about Sam is that he really loves Dean more than anyone else and he won’t say it, but it comes out at times like these. I think Sam would feel pathetic if he actually said it.

-Sam is unwilling to entertain the idea of Dean dying. He sees the car and says that when he gets better he’s gonna want to fix it, and Sam knows his brother because he’s absolutely right.

He won’t let Bobby scrap Dean’s car, which is a metaphor for Dean’s life. Sam is ready to accept whatever condition Dean wakes up in. It’s also cute that Sam sees the impala as Dean’s, not John’s. It makes me wonder how many drives Dean took Sam on when they were younger, if Dean often snuck him away for little hang-outs like the fireworks. If they started lying on the hood looking at the stars when they were teenagers.

-That moment Sam says “felt like Dean” is this moment in the hallway outside of Dean’s hospital room

so what Sam is feeling as Dean is this reassuring, caretaking, determined presence promising not to leave him and promising to fight.

-The spirit board scene is one of my favorite scenes ever. What is it about this scene? There’s this sweet innocence to it, and the fact that they’re reaching across a veil to communicate because they just can’t let go of each other. It makes their relationship look really intimate and separate from everyone else. Sam saying “don’t make fun of me,” Dean grumbling that he feels like he’s at a slumber party, Dean sitting across from Sam and watching him. That moment when Dean touches the planchette, Sam is so happy to actually feel him, and Dean is in awe that he can. They need this contact.

Sam goes “it hasn’t been the same without you, Dean” and then the planchette moves and he says “Dean, what?” and then “Dean is it after you?” Sam really likes saying Dean’s name. He says it all the time. People like saying their crush’s names.

-Sam sits on Dean’s bed, his knee against Dean’s leg, and looks at Dean’s face. Ghost-Dean stands next to Sam, looking at Sam’s face. There’s something really intimate about them gazing at each other like this, with Sam not knowing Dean is looking at him too. They wouldn’t be talking so intimately if Dean were lying there looking back at Sam. Kind of like when you’re talking to someone before bed with the lights out and it feels easier to say what you mean.

-“We were just starting to be brothers again.” If this is them just getting started at being brothers again I would kill to see what they were like at their worst closest.

There’s so much in the word “brother” for them. It comes up over and over. I don’t think they ever do this with any other relationship word- neither ever tries to explain their love for John by saying “he’s my dad” with tears in their eyes. It’s like a sacred title. There’s no way they can express what they are to each other, so they use this word that’s only ever applied to each other and that carries their whole history.

The point their relationship has reached now is that Sam trusts Dean completely, Dean needs Sam, and they’re each others’ top priorities. Were they like that right up until Stanford or did something happen before then?

John wrote in his journal about them not getting along as well as they used to when Sam gets into his teens, and speculates that it’s from living in Dean’s shadow. But John was also aware that his boys had their own world that he didn’t have access to, and even very attentive parents often miss quite a bit of what’s going on with their teenage kids.

What we see in teen-era flashbacks is a Sam who resents Dean for being “cool,” a Dean being protective of Sam but also respectful. We see a girl who’s dating Dean only because she thinks maybe he’s not as much of a tool as he seems based on how sweet he is to his little brother. We have Dean and Sam burning down a field when they sneak away to light fireworks, Sam wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist in delight. And we have Sam only wanting to talk to Dean about a case over the phone-not John- and asking for Dean’s advice. They were still close. We know Sam ran away from home once and Dean was out of his mind worried before finding him.

And based on “Providence” Sam and Dean both know Sam feels some type of way about Dean, which would’ve happened pre-Stanford.

And then Sam didn’t tell Dean about Stanford and they didn’t talk for years and Dean thinks Sam must hate him and Dean hates himself but Sam looks at him like a puppy in love. And now “we were just starting to be brothers again.” I wonder what happened for them to both know why Sam isn’t interested in dating when he’s with Dean, and if it had to do with this.

-Sam asks “can you hear me” to an empty room- Ghost Dean isn’t there. It shows how alone Sam feels without Dean.

-Dean objects to dying because he thinks Sam will die without him. This would be an insane thing to think in any other circumstances but I can see why he would think that (see: the babysitting years, the fire at Stanford, etc).

-Sam loves Dean so ferociously. He fights hard for him. He’s protective of Dean to John the whole episode, and it makes me think he’s always been mad at John not just for himself but for Dean too.

-John tells Dean he will have to either save Sam or kill him. Dean’s contract with John previously was always to save and care for Sam. Now saving him has a different and more religious meaning.

-So John thanks Dean for taking care of both him and Sammy, tells him he may have to kill Sam, and then dies. Iconic.

#samdean #supernatural #spn meta #wincest #sam and dean #spn 2x01

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castielcommunism · 2 years

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it’s frustrating that they never go anywhere with mary reading john’s journal in the show, because I think it would be the catalyst to a comprehensive re-evaluation of john’s role in her sons’ lives, and is probably the only thing that would get dean to properly question his relationship to his father.

like there’s a dual refusal to accept reality going on with mary and dean - mary doesn’t want to accept that her children are grown adults and that her absence destroyed their lives. it makes her feel powerless and incredibly guilty. and dean is using mary to displace all of his unexamined rage at his father. it’s a lot easier to be angry at his mom for dying than it is to get angry at his father for abusing and neglecting them for years, especially when mary seems hellbent on retreating into fantasy where her children are still babies. but mary reading john’s journal would undo both of those things - she would be confronted with the man her husband was and the things he did to their children as a result of her absence, and she would be able to recuperate some sense of agency in her own life by getting angry at this. she can’t undo the past and she can’t fix what happened, but she can be a zealous advocate for her children and rage against what their father did to them.

and dean would have no choice but to listen, because the only person he would hear any criticism of john from is his mom. she is an authority figure he respects and wants to listen to, and on top of that she’s on his side. like for the first time in his life he would feel fully empowered to admit that he was mistreated. because his mom is telling him that it’s okay to feel that. this isn’t even something he could let himself do with bobby, I think partially because bobby isn’t biological family and partially because mary feels like a much closer authority on the subject of their father, despite the fact that bobby actually knew him a lot better.

and hilariously I think this is how sam and mary would connect and form a relationship. like she wouldn’t be able to just walk into the room one day and say well I read john’s journal and your dad was an abusive asshole. if I’d had been there I wouldn’t have let any of that happen. because dean WOULD push back and it would probably cause a fight. a serious conversation about john would have to be a slow, uneven process of untangling what the fuck happened in their childhood, and sam would happily entertain his mom asking him questions. like she can’t get straight answers from dean because he wants to both protect his mom from the reality of their life AND he wants to protect his father from the wrath of his mother. but sam would absolutely have a frank and honest conversation with mary about their childhood (at least what parts he remembers). It would be painful and messy and enraging, but he would finally have someone who wants him to talk about what happened to him and his brother. and like I’m sure mary would resist some of this at first, too, because the reality of what john did is horrifying and accepting that means accepting some kind of responsibility for it, even if she didn’t actually do any of the abusing and would have prevented it had she seen it occurring.

but like eventually all three of them would arrive at a shared set of facts, which is that john was neglectful and abusive to his kids. dean would be given permission to be angry about it from someone he loves and respects, and he would even be allowed to give up responsibility for his own anger. mary started it, so he doesn’t have to drown himself in guilt and self-doubt over thinking his father was a shitty person. he’s being handed down this mercy by his mother. and sam would finally have someone fully on his side, allowing him to present his case and explain himself. he would be given absolution for all the fights he started with his father, and for the deep-seated self-disgust he felt for being “unclean”, not to mention john’s own disgust. and mary would finally be able to feel like she knows what’s going on, and that she can take control of some element of her family’s life. she can redeem herself to her own sons by being their champion, even if it’s thirty years too late. they can do this autopsy of their own family history together and move forward with the knowledge that what happened wasn’t okay.

#mary.txt #bro.txt #mary & dean #sam & dean #season 12 #meta

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rizlowwritessortof · 1 year

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Cowboy Rescue - Part 6

Cory makes an impulsive decision to drive from Tulsa, Oklahoma, to Montana, accepting an invitation from an old boyfriend, hoping to put closure to their failed long-distance relationship. When circumstances leave her lost in the Montana countryside in the blizzard of the century, local rancher Dean Winchester comes to her rescue. He is far too tempting to resist, but is she getting herself into just another hopeless long-distance situation?

Last part - finally! Thanks so much to those of you who hung in there with me! Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Rancher Dean Winchester x OC Cory Tate

Word Count: 3634

Warnings: Just smut and fluff!

Dividers by the ever-lovely @firefly-graphics - thank you, Daisy!

Cory smiled her thanks to the waitress, picking up her drink and looking back towards her friend across the table from her. “Thanks, I needed this, Gina.”

“I could tell. You’ve been a little down this week. We haven’t had a chance to talk about your trip to Montana – things didn’t go well with Dillon?”

Cory laughed. “Not well at all. I didn’t even see him.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Long story short, I had to take a detour, got lost in the country, a huge blizzard hit, and I got rescued from the storm by a gorgeous cowboy on horseback.”

Gina stared at her, wide-eyed. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Every word is true,” Cory laughed. “And we really hit it off. Like, really hit it off.” Gina was nodding knowingly, a grin on her face.

“So you left me in the office to handle Bruce alone, all for a cowboy,” she teased. “Exactly how gorgeous is this guy?” Cory grabbed her phone and pulled up Dean’s picture, then handed it to Gina, laughing as her friend’s jaw dropped open. “Holy shit, woman!”

“I know. I know, believe me. And I keep thinking, why did I leave Montana at all? But he really didn’t – he didn’t ask me to stay. But it all happened so fast, I think – neither of us really knew how to handle things.” She sighed. “We decided to try to make things work, but you know how much luck I have with the long-distance thing… He’s had to cancel two trips down here to see me, and it’s just hard. It feels like we’re failing before we really get started, you know?”

Gina picked up her drink and stared intently at Cory. “If that man is anywhere close to as amazing as his picture, you have to hang in there and figure it out. As your best friend, I insist on it. There is no way I can let you give up on him. I will drive you to Montana myself.” She motioned to the waitress for another round. “So – tell me everything.”

“Come in,” Cory mumbled at the soft knock on her office door, not even looking up from her work. Gina peeked around the door, and Cory finally looked up, eyebrows raised in question. “What’s up?”

“There’s a cowboy here to see you.”

Cory laughed. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific. We live in Oklahoma, there are cowboys everywhere.”

Gina shook her head, a slow smile spreading across her face, a lilt to her voice. “Not like this one.”

Cory’s smile slowly faded, her eyes widening as she rose to her feet. Gina swung the door open and stepped back, and Cory felt her heart stumble in her chest. “Dean?! Oh, my god!”

“Hey, Cory.” He stepped forward, a huge grin on his face as Cory walked into his arms, and Gina pulled the door closed behind her with a happy smile.

“I thought… I mean, I didn’t think you could get away! How…”

Dean cradled her face in his hands and kissed her silent, and she melted against him, her hands grasping at his denim jacket. He led her over to the love seat near the window and sat her down, sitting beside her and taking her hands in his. “Craziest thing. An old high school friend of mine just bought a little place down the road, and he stopped in to say hi on his way to a job interview at another ranch. I stole him right out from under them, and I don’t even feel bad about it.” Cory laughed, her eyes shining as she listened. “He and his dad used to help us out working cattle when we needed extra hands, back when my dad was still here, so he knows his way around ranching. And he’s a good guy. Can’t wait for you to meet him and his wife.”

“Yeah, someday we’ll have to…”

“The whole ‘someday’ thing? I need to talk to you about that, too. Before I lose my nerve.” Cory’s expression sobered a little, but she watched him intently, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve kicked myself ever since you left - for not asking you to stay in Montana. I mean, we only spent a few days together, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was pushing you too hard, too fast. But… I miss you so damn much. The house just seems cold and empty without you in it, and I don’t know how I lived in it that way for so long. I really want you to come back with me, Cory. For good.”

“Dean, are you…”

“Crazy? Maybe. But I really want you to come back with me. And if you think we should slow things down, I mean, you can keep your own room if you want, I’m okay with whatever you need. Please, promise me you’ll think about it. And you don’t even have to work if you don’t want to, I mean, I’ve got plenty of money. But if you want to, it’s great, too. Or maybe your boss will let you work remotely?”

“Dean – stop talking for five seconds, please,” Cory laughed, and Dean ducked his head a little with a sheepish smile before looking into her eyes again. “Will you wait for me here? I’ll be right back.” She leaned in to kiss him softly one more time, turning as she reached the door. “There’s whiskey in that cabinet, and glasses – if you want a drink while you wait.”

She was back before he finished a drink, coming back into her office with a huge smile on her face, and Dean couldn’t help but return it. “So – what are we smiling about?”

Cory sat down next to him, taking his drink from his hand and finishing it in one gulp. “Well – I guess I’m moving to Montana.”

Dean stared at her silently for a moment. “Seriously? You’re really coming back with me?”

She nodded, happy tears in her eyes. “If you really want me…” Before she could finish, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her until they broke apart in need of air.

“I really want you. I want you with me, in Montana. Everything else will work itself out.”

Late in the evening three days later, they arrived back at the ranch in Dean’s pickup, a small trailer behind with Cory’s belongings. She hadn’t brought much, just clothes and personal items, leaving everything else in her condo, which she planned to sell as furnished. She had left the keys with Gina to keep an eye on things, or to show to prospective buyers.

It didn’t take them long to unload the boxes, leaving them stacked to be unpacked later. Cory collapsed on the couch as Dean started a fire in the fireplace, then joined her, one arm around her shoulders. She snuggled up against him with a happy sigh, giving him a squeeze as he spoke. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

“Thank you. It really does feel like home. It has from the beginning.” She smiled up at him and closed her eyes as he kissed her softly. Then she sat up straight and turned to face him, her expression more serious. “By the way, I’ve been thinking about it – and I do think I would like to keep my own room.”

The light dimmed in Dean’s eyes as he tried to control his expression. “Oh. Okay, whatever you need.”

She couldn’t control the quirk of a smile on her lips as she moved to straddle his lap. “For my office.”

Dean dropped his head to the back of the couch with a relieved sigh. “That was just mean.” Cory giggled as she bent to kiss his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, then his lips, raising her head to look into his eyes.

“It was, I’m sorry – I just couldn’t resist. Forgive me?”

He let out an offended huff, refusing to look at her in pretended offense, and she giggled again. “How about if I show you how sorry I am?”

“I don’t know…” he teased back, and she bent to place gentle, lingering kisses on his throat. Her fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt as she moved down, tasting each newly exposed patch of skin, a little thrill moving through her at the sound of his muffled groan.

When she had his shirt fully undone, she pushed it open, dipping down to nibble at each nipple, sliding down until she was on the floor between his knees, her hands moving to his belt buckle as his muscles contracted at her touch. He moaned as she kissed along his waist, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding the zipper down. She gave a little nip to his belly button, looking up at his blissful expression. “Lift up a little for me,” she said, slipping her fingers beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugging them and his jeans down, working them off and tossing them aside, his erection standing hard and proud against his abs.

She settled herself between his legs again, and Dean cleared his throat, his breathing quickening with his arousal. He stared down at her as she stripped her sweatshirt off over her head, and then reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. He let out a low groan as she took it off and dropped it beside her, then pulled in a hissing breath as she put her hand to his cock, bringing it to her lips.

She took the tip into her mouth, laving it with her tongue as she suckled gently, watching Dean’s hand clutch desperately at the arm of the sofa. He swore under his breath as she pulled off, bending to lick a path from root to tip, one hand massaging at his balls as she took him in again as far as she could. She glanced up at him, his head thrown back and his teeth clenched as he fought the urge to push in deeper. She began to move, up and down, working her tongue over him, taking him deeper with each bob of her head until he was breaching her throat. She fought her gag reflex for a moment, then took him in fully, her throat working around him, and he let out a moan that made her reach a hand between her own thighs.

Dean’s hips were rising to meet her now, in spite of his efforts to hold still, and she pulled off him, her voice a little raspy as she spoke. “Just let go, baby, it’s okay.”

“I don’t wanna…” he began, but she shook her head.

“You’re not gonna hurt me. I want it. I want all of you.” She licked the drop of precum from his slit before taking him in completely, sucking hard and breaking what was left of his resistance. She relaxed and let him fuck into her willing mouth and throat, shoving one hand down the front of her jeans to rub her aching clit and bracing her other hand on the straining muscle of his thigh.

“Oh, fu… uuuuck, fuckfuckFUCK,” he finally forced out, filling her mouth and throat with his release. She swallowed as much as she could, gentling the suction on his pulsing cock as he emptied himself, his legs shaking a little as he slowed, then finally stopped. He moved his hand from the couch to tangle his fingers in her hair as she lovingly cleaned him off, pulling her hand free from her pants with a shudder and reaching for her sweatshirt to wipe off her face.

She leaned up, resting her face against his torso, smiling as he groaned at the sensation of her soft breasts pressed against his sensitive cock. “So, do you forgive me now?” she teased, and he stroked her hair, still unwilling to move any further.

“For anything you’ve ever done or ever will do,” he answered, and Cory laughed.

“Careful, I might hold you to that.”

“How about you come up here?” She pressed a kiss to his skin and straightened up, then rose to her feet. Dean hooked a finger into her belt loop, pulling her in closer, then working the button and zipper open on her jeans. “And how about you take those off?”

She shimmied out of the rest of her clothes, letting Dean pull her up onto his lap. He held her close with one arm, the other hand kneading gently at her breast as he kissed her hungrily. She shivered beneath his touch as he toyed with her nipple, and he parted from her lips long enough to lay her back on the couch, settling himself between her legs and bending to tongue the other nipple into his mouth. He teased at her until she whined, arching up a little, searching for something more to ease the throbbing between her thighs. He looked into her eyes as he raised himself up, moving to his knees on the floor and nuzzling his face into the crease of her thigh. She trembled as he kissed her there, then moved his way down to taste her before flicking his tongue over her clit.

She jerked with a soft cry, her hips rising to meet him as a faint growl rumbled from his throat. He speared his tongue inside her, humming in approval at her flavor before working two fingers inside to rub at her sweet spot. She slid her fingers through his hair, grabbing to hold him close as he sucked her clit into his mouth, and she swore, her hips moving to the rhythm of his fingers vigorously fucking into her. “Jesus, Dean…”

His cock was twitching, getting harder by the second at the symphony of sounds she was making, the feel of her cunt clutching at his fingers, the taste of her on his tongue. She was close, so close, beginning to beg now, and he reached up to pinch at her nipple, sending her to the edge with a strangled cry. Before she could completely reach her peak, he stopped, moving back up between her thighs, driving his cock home with one desperate thrust.

She let out a hoarse scream as Dean fucked her hard and deep, her cunt spasming around him and spurring him on. He pounded into her, his heart hammering, until he let out a shout as he came, holding himself as deep inside her as he could manage, his vision darkening a little around the edges as he finally dropped down on top of her shuddering form. She wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him as they both fought for breath, their chests heaving against each other.

A few minutes later Dean pushed himself up on one elbow, bending to place soft, lingering kisses on Cory’s lips. “I have this problem. I can’t seem to kiss you enough,” he teased, feeling her lips curve against his as she smiled.

“That is a problem. We’ll have to work on that.” She looked into his eyes, searching them and finding the same warmth and contentment she was feeling. “I hate to say this, but we should move. We’re gonna ruin the couch.”

He bent to kiss her again. “Worth it. And besides, there’s a blanket under us.”

“Oh, I didn’t even…” She turned her head a little to look, and suddenly burst into giggles.

“What?” She was trying to speak, but another bout of giggling came out instead. “What?!”

Cory wiped at her eyes, pointing at the other end of the couch. “We both still have our socks on!” And then she was off again, and Dean couldn’t help but join in.

“What, like that’s not sexy?”

“Oh, very.” She finally started to calm down, a little whining laugh or two forcing their way from her lips. “I’m sorry, I’m just so very tired.”

Dean grinned down at her affectionately, kissing her one more time. “Well, sexy, maybe we should go clean up a little and go to bed.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

He rose to his feet with a little groan, then reached for her hand to help her up. She let her hand rest in his as they walked in their sexy stocking feet to the bedroom, Cory still smothering an occasional giggle on the way.

About ten years farther down the road…

Dean parked the pickup in front of the house and headed for the steps, a couple bags of groceries in each hand. He was halfway up when he heard his wife’s voice, loud and clear, from the back yard. “John Travis Winchester!”

“Oh, shit.” He deposited the bags on the porch and headed around the side of the house to see what his oldest son had gotten into this time. That boy was going to give his mama gray hair fast at the rate he was going. Only 8 years old, but he was very creative at finding mischief to get into on an almost daily basis.

Cory was standing at the back of the house, hands on her hips, looking up at the huge oak in their back yard. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?” she continued, 3-year-old Gracie letting go of her leg to run towards Dean.

“Daddy!” He scooped her up in one arm and went to stand next to his wife, putting the other arm around her shoulders.

“What’s happening here?” he asked, giving her a squeeze.

“Well, our son decided it would be a good idea to get into his daddy’s tools and saw a branch out of your great-grandpa’s tree. I was about to try and find out why.”

J.T. was about five feet off the ground, perched on a branch, a small hand saw partly bitten into a smaller branch next to him. One slim branch lay underneath the tree, and his 6-year-old little brother, Hunter, stepped forward, speaking up.

“J.T. and me wanted to build a fort, but we didn’t have any wood.”

“That right, J.T.?” Dean asked, and the boy nodded, looking utterly miserable.

“Mama, our cookies!” Gracie piped up, and Cory took her from Dean’s grasp.

“I know, baby girl. We’ll finish them in a minute.”

Dean bent to kiss Cory’s head. “Why don’t you and Gracie go on and finish your cookies, babe. I’ll have a talk with the boys.”

She turned to look up at him, Gracie on one hip. “That child is gonna be the death of me someday,” she said quietly, a smile teasing at the corners of her mouth, and Dean chuckled.

“Go ahead, honey, I’ve got this.” She stretched up to kiss him, heading back into the house with her daughter.

A little while later, Cory sat on the couch, her laptop in front of her as Gracie played on the living room floor. The boys came bursting through the front door, Dean behind them, and he stood nearby as they both ran up to their mother.

She sat her laptop on the table and turned to accept a strangling hug from Hunter. “We’re sorry, mama,” he said, and she gave him a squeeze, then wrapped J.T. in a hug as he followed suit. He backed away, his lip quivering a little, and Cory patted the couch beside her.

“Come here, boy child,” she smiled, and he climbed up beside her, letting her tuck him under her arm. “So, what did you learn today? What did Daddy say?”

He took a breath and launched into a recitation, and Cory forced herself not to smile. “He said some of the tools are dangerous, and we could get hurt, and if we want to use something we have to talk to him or you and let somebody help us and show us how to use ‘em, and he said his great-grandpa planted that tree a long, long time ago and it’s a special family tree. And he’s gonna call the station man,” she looked up at Dean in confusion, and he grinned.

“Extension agent.”

Cory smiled and nodded, looking back to J.T. “And he’s gonna tell us if the tree is hurt and how to fix it, and also if me and Hunter want to build a fort he’ll help us and find us some wood.”

She nodded and hugged him. “I love you, you know.”

“Love you too, mama. I’m really sorry I hurt the tree.”

Cory took his little face in her hands. “You are forgiven, sweet boy. Now – why don’t you go in the kitchen and get yourself a cookie?”

His eyes lit up and he was off the couch in a flash. “Me too, mama?” Hunter piped up, and she laughed.

“Of course, you, too! After one more hug.” She sent them on their way, followed by their sister, shaking her head at their energy. Dean plopped down beside her, dropping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze.

“You’re a great dad, you know that?” she smiled up at him, and he kissed her.

“You’re pretty great yourself, you know.”

Hunter peeked around the kitchen doorway. “Can we have two cookies?”

Cory laughed. “Yes, you can have two cookies.”

“So…” Dean started, and she looked up at him, waiting. “How about we let these monsters have a movie night tonight and put them to bed early.” He nuzzled his face into her neck, his voice rumbling in her ear. “Then we can go to bed and fool around.”

She turned to kiss him, happily in awe of the way he still looked at her like she was everything, and how he could still make her blood race with a simple touch or kiss. “That is the best offer I’ve had all day, baby.”

Tags for my lovelies: @saenalife @deanscarlett @jensensgotyoudean @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @geeklibrarian @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mrswhozeewhatsis @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sleep-silent-angel @darcia22 @winchesterprincessbride @ellen-reincarnated1967 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @deanslittleangel2y5 @melanie451 @spectaculacular-sammy @bookchic20 @jodyri @selma-jean-blog @savingapplepie-eatingthings @kittenofdoomage @masked-maiden42 @lean-mean-deanwinchester @ericuhlorain @undecided-garden @ceeceewinchester @typicalweirdbookworm @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit @youtoldalie @tanithlowisabamf-blog @deandoesthingstome @jxackles @nerdwholikesword @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic @kreweofimp @gabavaldman @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog @darkx143 @disassociativedogma @ioanashalala @jencharlan @deansthirstblog @dorky-and-i-know-it @mischief-maker1 @winchestersandwordprocessors @percussiongirl2017 @bringmesomepie56 @akshi8278 @torn-and-frayed @sandlee44 @wingedcatninja @evansrogerskitten @emoryhemsworth @peaceinourtime82 @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @sarcasmqueen74 @maliburenee @mrsjenniferwinchester @yeehawbitchs @emily-winchester @hobby27

#cowboy rescue #part 6 #dean fic #dean au #rancher!dean #dean x oc #dean x cory #dean smut #dean fluff #happy ending

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itsanidiom · 3 years

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( O u O )

#update #until we meet again #watch me marathon six episodes of UWMA in one day #This show is kind of slow #I think what they did wrong is they revealed that the characters are linked to the past characters too early #Like Dean and Pharm become boyfriends and just like chill for like 50% of the last few episodes I've watched #nothing is really progressing the story and at this point I'm not really sure what the story is?#Because I think like #if I were writing this #the whole point would be the discovery of the link between characters #as the relation ship grows #it just feels like it rushed to that reveal #and now i gotta like sit through...i'm not sure what?#like Dean's dad not accepting the relationship is all that I think can happen at this point #i dunno #i mean IT'S GOOD #but like as it goes on i don't know what I should be excited for?#if that makes sense #ANYWAY #gonna finish UP

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mishasminions · 3 years

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The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15.

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

#THE LAST TIME I'LL CLOWN FOR THIS SHOW #SUPERNATURAL #DESTIEL #15x20 #15x19 #15x18 #UNTAGGED #INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS

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elise-jupiterstyle · 3 years

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this is a very cynical bomb that i’m about to drop with absolutely no context but they really did just fetishize rio to gain viewership without actually ever giving a shit about his value as a character, and i’ve gotten myself into a bit of a spiral stewing about it.

tw: my opinions again

like i didn’t want to think about my favorite show so negatively before it ended so i tried to steer clear of any posts that discussed it for the sake of my own enjoyment but after how short the finale season fell from my expectations, it’s hard not to be pissed off. because ever since they had beth shoot rio in season two i’ve been waiting for them to reconcile such a gruesome choice by developing the characters further, their relationships, their knowledge of themselves, but it just didn’t happen. beth never took accountability for the shooting, rio never took accountability for kidnapping and pressuring her, and dean never took accountability for his infidelity or faking cancer, which were the three main points of conflict that the writers should’ve focused on resolving before ever even thinking of introducing new conflicts.

i’m not saying i wanted rio to forgive beth, or that i wanted beth to forgive dean, or that i wanted any of these resolutions to happen immediately after their conflicts took place. and sure, you could say that beth’s character compartmentalizes and that beth and rio aren’t good communicators and didn’t have a strong bond of trust to begin with so it wouldn’t be in character for them to discuss what happened, but that’s where character growth is supposed to come in! you’re supposed to write characters with these flaws so that they have a better version of themselves to work towards that is slowly developed as they encounter each conflict. they’re not meant to make them into worse people until the show is entirely unbearable to watch because all of that old resentment and tension is just rotting away beneath the rug it’s been swept under.

it’s not a creative choice to have characters directly create conflict and then never address it again while they move onto the next big thing -- it’s lazy writing, and it makes it crystal clear that they were written in solely to shock the viewers and create tension between the characters, not to cultivate growth, and that is very frustrating when you have a group of characters whose inherent morality is constantly insisted upon.

what’s especially frustrating about this is that it not only means there is a lack of depth to all the characters, but there’s a lack of value to the ones that the writers did not favor. based on the season one storyline that culminated in rio shooting dean and letting beth live -- essentially getting even with her in a way that didn’t involve killing off the protagonist, even though that would’ve been the most likely course of action based on the consequences that other disposable characters suffered (i.e. eddie) -- it’s my belief that the writers didn’t expect to keep rio on the show past season one (honestly, it kind of feels like they didn’t even expect to get another season, based on how messy the storyline felt as the seasons progressed), and therefore didn’t value rio’s character the way the audience came to by season two.

when i say the writers didn’t (and honestly, i still think they don’t -- not in the same way they value the girls, dean, stan, or even fucking boomer) value him, i mean they didn’t see him as being worth the effort of giving a character arc, a background story, personal relationships, etc. they threw in marcus at the start of season two to be like “he’s a dad! that means he has depth!” and then never really touched on it again. there was like, one other scene with marcus that i can remember, and then he, too, was sidelined until they needed to humanize rio again after he got shot. all of the other kids -- the bolands, sarah, harry, and ben -- are regularly featured because they are a driving component of the women’s motivation to survive and succeed. with rio, his kid is only used to relate him back to the women, to make him seem human for a moment, but marcus’s real value as a character lies in how he makes beth feel as she grieves rio, not how he contributes to rio’s behavior, motivation, and overall character.

and yes, i know that rio is technically a side character, that the children of the protagonists are going to have more development, but if they actually wanted to add depth to rio’s character through the facet of parenthood, they would’ve shown more than one interaction with him after he spent supposed months away from him without a word. that kid would’ve been traumatized by that, and seeing rio’s reaction to his kid mourning his disappearance would’ve provided a much more real and interesting angle than them all smiling and happy, like we’ve seen in every other scene with him and marcus. it would’ve showed that the writers care about rio’s pain, about how his absence affected those he loves, but to be blunt, they don’t. they showed beth grieving him when she shot him, but we didn’t see him recovering from that traumatic event. they didn’t even care enough about him to give him fake scars, for christ’s sake.

everything that happened to rio throughout the show was either done to further the other women’s development or appease the viewers, and they made zero effort to hide that. they walked his characterization backwards so many times (him threatening beth’s family when it had been insinuated thus far that that was the only line he wouldn’t cross; him touching her and making suggestive advances on her in exchange for bail money when she was clearly uncomfortable; him returning all of her stuff and happily accepting her as his superior when there was no development in their relationship to suggest he’d forgiven her or would be receptive to her having power over him) and almost every single instance of them using him to promote the show exploited his outward appearance and the fact that so many viewers have fetishized him as this “exotic” bad boy without any regard for how minimizing and insulting that marketing tactic is.

looking through their instagram, i saw no other instance of an actor’s picture being posted next to a bunch of thirsty tweets or captioned as being “another reason to watch good girls.” it’s fetishization disguised as playful, well-intentioned endorsement, but if they were really referring to rio’s character rather than his appearance as a reason to watch the show, we wouldn’t be seeing his face on nearly every episode promo and highlight with him only occupying about five minutes of screen time every 50-minute episode.

there’s not really a neat bow-tie conclusion to this, but what i’m getting at is that the writers wanted it both ways. they wanted the viewership and fan engagement that manny’s character garnered, but they didn’t value him enough to give him the screen time and characterization that he deserved. this resulted in all of the revelations that were made about his character -- his son, rhea, his dynamic with turner, his backstory, his hobby, his grandma, nick -- feeling pretty underwhelming because they were never touched on again. they were there because they had to give us something, but they weren’t important enough to the writers to be expanded upon, to be used for personal growth or connecting with the other characters. i think that’s why it felt like such a hollow victory -- we got exactly what we wanted in theory, but there the foundation of it all was too weak for it to feel truly meaningful.

we wanted rio to be acknowledged and written as a permanent fixture on the show, but instead the rest of the characters were hell-bent on getting rid of him and his primary aspect of redemption was what he meant to beth, not what he meant to the show. even in the finale when she finally came to the realization that she won’t ever be able to give up crime, rio’s role in contributing to her self-actualization was passed over by a character who has been in seven episodes, and i think that really spoke for itself the loudest in terms of how much the writers truly valued him.

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myhumanweakness · 3 years

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I don’t want to be a huge asshole, but...

There are a lot of people trying to find a modicum of positivity in the finale. It’s not about this Destiel-Bibro war that’s happened over the years, it’s not about Cas, it’s not about any of the superficial drama. This finale was the weirdest mixture of OOC and in character writing I have ever seen.

Things that are in character:

The brothers put each other first. They are each other’s safe place and stability. Up until the very end. Sam respected Dean’s wishes, stayed with him in his last moments, and let him go gracefully. Sam even went on and had a full life so Dean’s sacrifices weren’t in vain.

For Dean, Heaven wasn’t perfect without Sam there. And he had this huge sense of relief and happiness when Sam arrived.

Jack deconstructed the walls of Heaven so that it was a vast place where everyone could be together. They weren’t living out their “best memories” anymore. They were creating new memories eternally with each other. And Bobby recognizing that Jack is like Dean’s son by saying, “That boy of yours...”

Cas helped build the Heaven that he always dreamed of. Cas always had such a high standard for Heaven, and it always fell short. He helped Jack build a home that was warm and comforting and beautiful and open and loving and true. Everything Cas stood for.

Bobby, the man Dean adopted as his father, was there to share a beer with him (just like Dean shared with his dad in his childhood). And Bobby was happy and confirmed that Dean is in a Heaven he deserves.

Sam mourning Dean’s death for the rest of his life, but also living his life to honor Dean. Classic Sam.

Dean using his last moments to tell Sam how much he loves him and how proud he is. Sam deserved to hear that because we all know Sam looked at Dean as a parental figure.

Things that are OOC:

Sam not marrying Eileen. The show created this HUGE story arc around Sam and Eileen and their real love and connection. And then they shoot this finale and couldn’t even get an actress that looked like Eileen to stand it the blurry background. Like, I don’t care what you say, it’s NOT open to interpretation. Sam did not end up with Eileen. All of you people who are Sam stans, who say you want your character to be happy and live a full life should be livid. Sam ending up with Eileen wouldn’t have canceled out the fact that Dean was/is his number one person. Dean gave his blessing for Eileen, and he loved her and welcomed her into their lives because he knew Sam loved her and had a genuine connection with her. Having them together would not have ruined the ending in any way. Sam still could have ended up with Dean on that bridge.

That woman with the blonde/light brown hair is NOT Eileen. They couldn’t even get an actress with dark brown hair to keep hope alive that they ended up together. Absolutely awful.

Dean just accepting Cas’ death and not even talking about it, other than to say, “Yeah I think about em’ too.” I don’t care if you don’t believe in Destiel or that the love was reciprocated. Dean EXCLUSIVELY said multiple times that Cas is a member of their family and a brother to the boys. He said the words, “YOU”RE MY BEST FRIEND.” I’m not saying Dean should have scarified himself to go pull Cas out of the Empty (because we had 40 minutes to wrap up 15 years). But the fact that Dean was like: I’m gonna eat some pie and just not acknowledge any feelings or thoughts and act like nothing ever happened is SO OOC. If your best friend died tragically, you’d have something to say about it or act like you had something to say about it. And that’s not to say I wanted Dean to be miserable and hurting. I’m happy he got a dog and found some normalcy. But they lost SO many people, and he’s just walking around cool as a cucumber? When every other season/episode where they lost someone important to Dean he was a mess. And I’m not just talking about Cas- we all obviously know how Dean behaved when Cas died/was missing/Lucifer was controlling him. But even when Jo and Ellen died. Even when Mary died. Even when Bobby died. Even when John died. Even when Crowley died. Even when Jack died, Dean was shown hurting. Suddenly everything is cool and normal there’s no pain or anything? The fuck? A brief moment of acknowledgement. That’s all it needed.

I will never forgive the writers for ending Dean’s story that way. A rusty nail impaling him (probably in his pulmonary arteries/aorta based on the angle) on some random hunt after he finally exhaled the episode before and said, “We’re finally free.” He sacrificed his ENTIRE childhood and life for his brother and the world and so many other people, and he didn't even get to enjoy being a human on the Earth and living a life for more than a week. What! Dean was always a character filled with tragedy, and yeah, maybe he did have to die. You can make that argument. But like that?! AND. AND! Sam held a funeral for Dean and DIDN’T INVITE ANYONE! What!!! No one was there to toast to Dean and share their memories and give him the send-off he deserved. Sam just burned his body alone. Never. That would have NEVER happened. Sam loved Dean SO much and looked up to him and thought the world of him. Dean was his big brother who was fearless and strong and the best hunter on this Earth (and probably every other planet), and he didn’t celebrate his life in the end?

Cas not showing up in Heaven is absolutely insane. INSANE. It doesn’t matter what you think of their relationship, the show has proven that Cas is important to Dean (even if you think Cas is way at the bottom of the list, he’s on it!). Dean’s ideal retirement/endgame was him, Sam, and Cas on a beach, drinking cocktails, with hula girls. That was the future Dean wanted for him and his family. And you’re telling me that Cas helped Jack build the best version of Heaven possible, and the minute Dean Winchester arrived Cas wasn’t there to greet him. Even just to say “Hello, Dean.” Even call Dean’s phone and say, “Welcome home.” Cas would have been the one greeting Dean in Heaven, with Bobby. Requited or not, it’s canon that Cas is in love with Dean. You don’t just ignore the opportunity to see the person you’re in love with. And... and! Even if Cas didn’t greet Dean in Heaven immediately, he would have appeared in the Impala during the drive. He would have met the brothers on the bridge to welcome them both home. Cas loved Sam too. He would have been there. The three boys together again. Team Free Will!

I love Cas, and I know a lot of Cas stans feel buried and betrayed and hurt over the show doing a “is he there or isn’t he?” thing. And that is completely valid. I can’t even express to you how sorry I am that so many of us in the fandom are hurting. But I know this show. And this show has always made it clear that it was/is always about two brothers. Fine. But Dean Winchester, the most caring and loving human in the entire universe, deserved better. I am so sick to my stomach that Dean’s whole life was him convinced that there was only one way for his story to end and it was him dying tragically. For years he never let himself even entertain the thought of living a life because he 1) didn’t think he deserved that or was worth it 2) it just wasn’t in the cards. We watched Dean grow so much, SO MUCH, that we finally saw him talking about the future and having hope for the future. And yeah, maybe he wouldn’t get the future he talked about with the retirement on the beach, but he would have lived long enough to experience life outside of just “playing whack-a-mole” and being God’s favorite story and puppet. Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom and humanity. They took a character that they purposefully pushed through so many stages of character development to attain hope and faith and self-worth and promise, and killed him.

What the fuck!

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stephspurs · 3 years

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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte

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gates-keeper · 3 years

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Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14)

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03)

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.”

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel is canon

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brodependent · 3 years

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Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that.

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way.

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one.

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean.

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces.

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale.

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay.

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation.

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over.

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

#my meta #meta #spn meta #the epic love story of sam and dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn positive #spn #supernatural #carry on #spn finale #sam loves dean as much as dean love sam #winchesters #sam n dean #sam and dean

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luna-nigthshade-wood · 2 years

Text

How (not) to propose an Angel?

Summary:

-So, Cas, what I am trying to say is, would you marry me?- Dean says kneeling down Static, that is the only thing that Castiel can hear. This is supposed to be the happiest moment in his life, a culmination of a happy relationship, there is just one problem, Dean and him are not dating.

Aka Dean proposes Cas in front of their friends and family, there is just one problem no one, including Cas, knew they were dating

-So, Cas, what I am trying to say is, would you marry me?- Dean says kneeling down

Static, that is the only thing that Castiel can hear. This is supposed to be the happiest moment in his life, a culmination of a happy relationship, there is just one problem, Dean and him are not dating.

Cas turns around watching the confused faces of their friends and family looking at them, Cas understands their confussion, he is confused as well, Sam looks like he is choking on air, Cas turns his face back at Dean, who is still kneeling down now with angst in his face, Cas wants to console him, but he doesn’t know what the fuck its happening.

-Cas- Dean says finally breaking the spectral silence that has fallen in the Bunker- you are killing me, is it a no?

-I…-Cas starts, but he is not sure what to answer.

-Dean- Sam finally intervenes- What the fuck?- he asks, finally convening the feeling of the room

-Kind of in the middle of something, Sammy- Dean exclaims

-You cant ask Cas to marry you!!- Sam yells exasperated

-Why?- Dean says angrily standing up- You have a problem or something?

-Yes- Sam responds not backing up- I have a problem. You cant ask Cas to marry you when you are not even dating.

-What are you talking about Sam?- Dean says confused- Of course Cas and I are dating, right Cas?

The angel in question doesn’t say anything. He still doesn’t understand whats happening? Since when are Dean and him dating? Is Dean cursed? Had they been transported to an alternative universe? What is happening?

-Cas?- Dean´s voice breaks through his thoughts- Are you ok?

-Am I ok?- Cas says, finally finding his voice- Are you?- asks voice shaky

-Well, I am not going to lie, this is not how I thought my night would go

-It is safe to say that neither did I- Cas responds- Dean, we are not dating.

-Of course we are- Dean says hysterically- Everybody knows it, right guys?- the hunter says turning to his family and friends- Guys?

Silence falls again in the room. Nobody is sure how to answer Dean until Jody takes control of the situation by saying:

-Alright, those of you that think Cas and Dean are a couple raise your hands?

Dean raises his hand but he is puzzled to notice that the only other hand up besides his own is Jack´s.

-What the fuck guys? How could you have not noticed that Cas and I were dating? How could you have not known for that matter, Cas?- Dean asks

-Well- Emma answers- To be fair, we thought you didn’t know, dad

-How couldn’t I have known?- Dean asks

-Three words- Claire responds- UST

-You have to recognize you are kind of emotional constipated, Dean-O- Donna continues

-Not to mention, we didn’t even know you liked guys, man- Sam concludes with a knowing tone, until he turns around and notices that nobody else is supporting his sentence- Why are you looking at me like that?

-Because, Moose brain, we all knew that my father was bi- Emma responds to Sam.

-What Emma said- Ben responds, getting nods of the remaining ducklings

-Emma, we talked about calling Sam names- Dean says, getting a mumble from Emma before turning to Sam- And you, Sammy, I have a serious question. How, in Chuck´s green Earth, did you thought I was straight?

-Wait, what? I… but… dad?... posturing… what?- Sam.ex stopped working.

-Dude, what did you think Lee and I did? Play marbles?

-How was I supposed to know?- Sam finally says

-We weren’t exactly subtle- Dean mumbles- Even dad knew

-What? And he was okay with that?- Sam explodes

-Well, no, not really, he basically gave me a water down version of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” but he learned to accept it, of course that was after Bobby shoot him with a rock of salt and they have a very large and loud “conversation”, but yeah. He hated Lee till the day he died though, but that may be just Lee, cause Bobby also hated him, something about me being too good for him.

-And you all knew?- Sam asks turning to the group

-Well, as Dean said, he wasn’t exactly subtle- Jody answers- Besides there were a lot of clues.

-Dr Sexy, for starters- Eileen says

-The messy wee situation with Fergus- Rowena continues

-The whole thing with Benny- Cas growls with jealousy

-Well, I…-Sam says deflating and sitting down- I don’t know how I didn’t notice Dean, but I just want to say that I love you and I accept you as you are and I am sorry if I ever seem unsupportive.

-I know Sammy, I love you too, now stop crying you big girl- Dean responds, hugging Sam

-Jerk- Sam lets out

-Bitch- Dean responds

-As touching as this moment is for everyone- Claire starts- I think we kind of get out of the topic at hand.

-I agree- Krissy continues- Dean-emotionally constipated- Winchester was going to explain to us why did he thought he was dating Cas and since when.

-Shh you both, don’t rush him- Kaia chides them- You will scare him

-No, please, do rush- Patience interrupts- My dad wants me at home sometime this week.

-I don’t think they will take a week- Jack says confused

-No, you are right Jack, they may take longer if we don’t push them- Jesse responds him

-Alright kids, enough- Cas says

-Don’t tell me what to do- the cambion mumbles

-Dean…-Cas starts- I am flattered that you would do this whole proposal as a sign of your love for me…

-You don’t have to say it, Cas- Dean interrupts- I understand, you don’t love me back

-Dean…

-I apologize for making things awkward between us

-Dean…

-I am so stupid, how could you, a perfect pure angel, possibly love me, a worthless hunter with 2-cents to his name?

-DEAN!!-Cas says stopping the litany and closing the space between them- You are the most insufferable human that I ever had the pleasure to meet

-I know- Dean responds looking down. But Cas puts his hand in his cheek forcing him to look up

-How could you possibly think- Cas starts catching a stray tear in his palm- after everything, that I don’t love you?

-What?-Dean says confused.

-Dean, you are full of love, you are the most caring man on Earth, you are the most selfless loving human being that I have known and that I will ever know and I am honored that you love me. Dean, I love you.

For a moment time seem to have stopped, before Dean closes the little space that its between them with a kiss, which Cas responds eagerly.

The kiss lasts almost an eternity and they only separate when they hear a cough behind them, remembering them that they have an audience.

-Alright, kiddos, remember there are little children present- Jody reminds them

-Yeah, boys, keep these PG rated- Donna says

-Sorry- Dean responds blushing taking Cas hand in his.

-Dean, I love you, and I am grateful that you love me back but I am still severely confuse, why did you think we were dating?-Cas says, still confused

-Because we are- Dean claims exasperated, making everyone groan

-Alright- Patience interferes, proving she is the voice of reason- Dean, why don’t we start easy? Since when are you dating Cas?

-Since the Apocalypse- Dean claims

-Which one?- Ben asks, getting a punch from Claire.

-The first one- Dean says- Don’t you remember Cas? We even sleep together.

-You did what???-Sam asks screaming- When??

-It was when we separated for a while, Sam. Before Cas and I tried to trap Raphael, I took him to a brothel, he called him a “den of iniquity”

-I am sorry- Kaia interrupts- You took an Angel of the Lord to a brothel?

-Yeah, I was trying to get him laid- Dean says- Needless to say it was a bad idea, but afterwards we started talking one thing let to another and bam we were fucking and then dating.

Cas can feel the blush coloring his cheeks and everybody´s eyes on him.

-Dean, you said it was a rite of passage- he says at the lack of other words

-I also said I love you- Dean says petulantly- Besides, alright, lets say that time didn’t count, but I asked you to teach me angel mating rituals

-I thought you wanted to learn about angels.

-I helped you groom your wings, which you said was a very intimate act

-I thought you wanted to help!- Cas exclaims

-I did!- Dean exclaims- Alright, someone cover Jack´s ears

-On it!- Kaia says amused.

-We have fucked more times that I can count- Dean says

-Well, yeah, but I thought it was more like friends with benefits kind of situation

-Cas, buddy, my pal, you threw a gallon of holy water on Crowley after the Summer we don’t talk about

-In my defense, Crowley is very annoying- Cas responds

-You told Benny and I quote: “Touch him again, bloodsucker and I will detach your head of your body after I pumped you full of dead man blood”

-I didn’t know his intentions Dean

-We had a threesome Cas, more than one to be honest- Dean says

-Please for the love of all, stop talking- Sam says commiserating

-No, no, keep going- Claire says while filming the whole thing with his phone- Alex is going to hate missing this. Should have called in sick

-You have been filming this whole time?- Bobby John asks

-Of course, this is perfect blackmail

-Can I have a copy?- Emma, Jesse and Bobby John ask at the same time

-Of course, I will email you

-Children…-Jody says making them keep silence

-I mean, you also erase my mom and I memories- Ben tells Cas

-Dude- Bobby John says- will you ever let it go? Why do you always have to bring the subject up?

-Because I am tired that every time they start talking about exes they forget my mom.

-Let it go, Elsa- Emma says

-But that begs the question- Jesse asks- why did you went to Lisa´s if you were with Cas?

-Cas broke up with me- Dean says

-How could I have broken up with you?- Cas asks more confused than before

-You said you had things to do and it was better that I went back to my sweetheart, broke my heart right then and there after losing Sam

-So I am confused- Kaia says- They didn’t know they were dating but they were dating or they weren’t dating but Dean- don’t do chick flicks- Winchester thought they were for some reason?

-I think they were dating and they are just bad at feelings?- Claire says

-I told you they were dating- Jack says, finally taking Kaia´s hands off- You just didn’t believe me. They have a profound bond, it is really not hard to miss, I knew since I was born

-I need a drink- Sam says finally

-I cant believe I agree with the Moose, but me too- Emma says

-Wait, you are telling me that after everything that we did, everything we said, we still have a chance?- Cas says, eyes shining with tears.

-Babe, we are basically raising 10 and a half children together- Dean says- Nothing would make me happier than being your “official” boyfriend.

-No- Cas says surprising everyone, but before Dean can interrupt, he continues- You had a question you wanted to ask me, so ask me.

-Wait, for real?- Dean asks surprised

-Yes, Dean, please asked me again

-Wait a minute, guys, lets talk about this you cant get marry if you haven’t even started officially dating.

-Samuel, I am an Angel of the Lord, I can do whatever I want.

-Yes, Samuel- Ben says- Lets them get engaged.

-Didn’t you dislike Cas?- Patience asks

-I am sucker for a good and chaotic love story- Ben responds- So please continue.

-Ducklings, I take it from here- Dean says- Sam, interrupt us again and I will let Emma loose with a pair of scissors on your hair.

-Shutting up right now- Sam says, taking Eileen´s hand.

-With that said, Cas, love of my life, my guardian angel, my best friend, we have been through a lot, we have had our fights over the years, big ones, we have survived terrible moments together, but we have preserved. We have a house, we are raising kids together, so here with them surrounding us, in the presence of our friends and of our family- Dean says, getting into one knee, showing Cas a ring- would you do me the happiest guy on Earth, Heaven and Hell and become my husband?

-Yes, Dean, of course, forever and ever- Cas responds with tears in his eyes, before kissing Dean, while their family cheers around them.

_____________________________________________

Bonus scenes (I couldn’t resist)

Bonus #1

-So you want to marry my brother?- Michael asks, towering over Dean.

-Yes, Michael, sir- Dean says gulping

-I don’t understand- Michael asks- Weren’t you already married?

-Not yet- Dean responds- So is that a yes?

-Well, I supposed you have my permission

-But you don’t have mine- Gabriel says appearing in thin air

-Gabriel- Dean jumps clutching his chest- weren’t you dead?

-Not yet kiddo- he responds eating a lollipop- Now, if you want to marry Cassie you have to beat me in a sword fight.

-Okay, why?-Dean asks confused

-Honestly, because I want to beat you- Gabriel responds

To this day, Gabriel still denies that Dean beat him, no matter what Michael claims

Bonus #2

Alex, waking up after a 24-hour-shift at the hospital and watching the videos and audios Claire and the rest of his family sent her, calling Claire:

-I hate you- she tells her after she picks up- I will never miss another family dinner, now put me up to date, what did I miss?

Bonus #3

-Sam, of course I knew Dean was dating- Garth tells Sam over the phone- It was pretty obvious, how didn’t you know? Anyways, who did you think helped Dean with the proposal? Now please, tell Claire to send me the video over. Bess and I are so sorry we missed it but Bess is ready to give birth anytime soon, and the story of how their godfather got engage has to be the first my kid hears.

AO3

26 notes · View notes

onionsaremeansstuff · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Dean fanfic? Where he and the reader broke up and the reader finds out he’s pregnant with Deans baby (yes mpreg) and a few months later Dean finds out and tries to get back together with him. The reader didn’t want to be around Dean and advoided him as much as possible but Dean is determined to prove that he is fully committed to him and their baby and won’t stop until the reader and his child are his

after weeks, i wrote it! (sorry, for the 3th time)

sorry for the implicit Cas x reader, i wrote it and just noticed it later.

anyway hope u like it!

Pairing: Dean x reader

Gender: Male

Warnings: Yandere behavior, MPreg

Summary: Dean discovered that he have a son and he will do whatever it takes to get his child and you

I dont own the character or the gif

You were walking towards the motel room door. The rain mixed with your tears as it soaked you and your backpack.

Frustration, sadness, and anger formed in your heart as you remembered what had happened a few hours ago.

How Dean had broken your heart and ruined your relationship as if your relationship was nothing to him at all.

Upon entering the motel room, you sat in front of the door, your hands on your face as you cried and thought about what you were going to do now.

What you were going to do without Dean, without your home, and without your friends.

You didn't feel that your future would be a promising one.

Weeks had gone by since you had left.

Right now, your life mainly consisted of going out to buy something to eat, head back to your motel room and watch some cliche movie.

Until one day, you woke up feeling sick to your stomach.

'It must be the crap I ate for lunch or my body just decided to punish me for just crying.' You thought, as you vomited in the bathroom toilet.

Unfortunately, this was a repeated cycle for you every day. Waking up in the morning and throwing up in the toilet.

You even thought about eating healthier food, but it didn't help the vomiting problem.

That's when you decided to call Castiel.

You knew that you shouldn't be calling him since you were probably just sick which is something that everything human goes through, but you couldn't take it any longer.

When you heard the sound of wings fluttering, you felt the angel wrap his arms around your body.

"Y/N, have you been staying here all this time? You were gone for weeks and I was worried sick about you! Every time I asked Dean where you were, he ignored me and left the room." The angel said, tightening his arms around you. He pulled back from the hug to look you in the eyes, "Why did you disappear like that?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

You looked down at the floor and let out a sigh, "It's complicated, Cas but I need your help."

"With what?"

Lately, I've been feeling sick. Every day I wake up and I've tried everything to stop the sickness, but it won't go away. So, could you maybe, cure me?"

Castiel nodded, and put two fingers against your forehead.

"What the-" Castiel muttered after removing his fingers from your forehead. You were confused by the angel's reaction. He lifted your shirt up slightly and put his hand on your belly, rubbing his hand over it.

"What are you doing, Cas?" You asked, feeling the angel's warm hand against your stomach.

"This makes no sense," He spoke in confusion as he removed his hand "This shouldn't even have been possible."

You were starting to get a little scared, "Cas, what's going on?"

"Y/N... there's a baby inside you."

You let out a laugh and punched his arm lightly, "Oh my God, Cas. You actually scared me for a second. Who taught you how to make jokes?"

This is too funny. A baby inside you? A guy? Yeah, right.

"I'm not joking around, Y/N. There's a fetus inside you."

"But, that's impossible, Cas. I don't have a uterus." You pointed out.

"There is a baby inside your stomach. I felt a baby's presence when I was healing you." Castiel sat on the bed and mumbled words under his breath before disappearing and reappearing a few seconds later with a red-haired woman you recognized all too well.

Rowena.

"What's going on here? And why did you bring me to this hotel room, angel?" The witch asked.

"We need your help." The angel said.

"Cas, what are you doing?" You asked him.

"Rowena, Y/N is pregnant and we don't know how it happened. Would you be able to find out?" The angel questioned.

"You could have just asked me for help instead of kidnapped me, angel." Rowena said, approaching you, "But, let's see what happened, shall we?"

Rowena started to speak words in a language you didn't understand while touching your stomach, "Ah, did you face a witch recently?"

"Yes, about three weeks ago."

"Did she have a red book with a fish and goat drawn on it?"

"Yes." You answered.

"I already know what happened!" The witch exclaimed, "That book is from an ancient coven that was very pure and strong, but extremely sexist. They did not accept women there." She sat down by your side, "To continue the purity of the coven they created spells to allow male pregnancy, thus maintaining the male-only lineage." She explained.

"Okay, the story is cool and all, but what would that bitch gain from making me pregnant?"

"Spells can be completely different and just have the intonation of a different letter, dear. Maybe she tried some other spell but ended up doing this one in particular accidentally."

"And how can we get rid of it?" The angel butted in, wanting to help.

"You can't. Trying to end the pregnancy would cause Y/N to immediately die."

"Great. Just fucking great. I'm alone, emotionally unstable and pregnant. Oh, this is just fucking great!" You said sarcastically, throwing yourself on the bed.

"I imagine that you would want to tell Dean the good news."

"What does Dean have to do with this? And besides, we're not together anymore." You replied, sitting up and looking up at Rowena.

"Ah, pity my dear. The spell allows you to become pregnant, but It still needs insemination, meaning the child is Dean's."

"Just great."

"Y/N," Castiel approached you, "I know you are scared and worried, but I will be by your side and will always accompany you at all times. If you want my help, of course." The angel offered, a hopeful look on his face.

You looked at the angel and the hopeful look on his face made you feel like everything was going to be okay.

"Thanks Cas. I really appreciate it."

---

During the following months of your pregnancy, Castiel remained by your side. Taking care of you and bringing what you needed.

Even bought books on pregnancy and learning how to take care of the child.

Rowena came by every month to check on you and the baby. You weren't close, but she knew what a pregnancy was like and wanted to help you, and she also wanted to know how the pregnancy spell worked, but you ignored the fact that you were her little lab rat.

When the time came, Rowena prepared the spell to take the child out of you. Fortunately everything was painless and soon the baby was sleeping in your arms.

"I'm glad everything went well," Castiel said, sitting next to you, "Have you decided on what to name him?"

You looked at Cas in confusion before it dawned on you. You had completely forgotten to think of a name for the child.

"He's a little angel." You commented, "Nothing is more fair than receiving the name of one, too. Castiel, meet Castiel Junior." You smiled at him

"M-My name? Why?" Castiel asked, fumbling over his words slightly in surprise.

"You helped me with everything, Cas. If it weren't for you nothing would have worked out the way it did, so I wanted to name him in honor of you. The super protective angel."

"Thank you so much, Y/N. I'm very honored, and I promise to always look after you both." Castiel kissed your forehead before getting up and fetching a bottle for little Castiel.

---

Five years have passed since the birth of Castiel, or Castie which is what you called him. You moved to a small town and started a new life with your child, away from hunting and monsters.

Castiel still visits you both regularly at least four times a week, honoring his promise to take care of you both and honestly, you're happy that he did. Looking after a child alone is really difficult.

It's been years since you had contact or heard from the Winchesters. Castiel just gives you news about Sam who you miss a lot.

Everything was peaceful and you were finally happy. True happiness.

---

"Are you sure this is going to be a case, Dean?" The angel questioned, "This city doesn't seem to be dangerous. Maybe we should go back."

"What's your problem with coming here, Cas?" The younger brother asked, "Ever since we told you the case was in this town you have been complaining."

"It's nothing, I just don't think there's a case he-" Castiel couldn't even finish speaking because something or someone hugged him.

"Papa Castiel!" The child said, "I missed you! Daddy won't let me eat chocolate anymore!"

Cas turned and saw Castie there. He smiled and picked up the child.

"Hello little me. I missed you too. Where's your daddy?" He asked as the child hugged him, and the brothers looked confused.

"Castiel, what the fu-" Before Dean could finish his sentence, Sam put his hand over his mouth and looked at him with a disapproving look.

"Castie! Where did you go?" The three heard a voice that sounded familiar.

"Daddy I'm here. Papa is here too!" The child yelled back, letting his dad know where he was.

You recognized Castiel's coat and soon calmed down before you saw that Dean and Sam were there, too. A lump formed in your throat as you approached them.

"Hello Y/N." Castiel and Sam greeted simultaneously as Dean just stared at you.

"Where have you been all this time, Y/N?" Sam asked and you could see that hurt look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in the last few years, Sam. I've been a little busy as you can see." You gestured to your son and picked him up.

"Yeah. I can see that, but a text message wouldn't kill, you know?" He suggested, and you gave him an apologetic look.

"That's very true. I'll remember that next time, but I'll be taking my leave now. I don't want to disturb you or anything-"

"You are friends of papa and daddy! Come to our house! I have several toys!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Castie, they are busy now." You said.

"Oh, we're not busy right now. And a place to stay would be great." Dean spoke up for the first time since being there.

"Yay! Come on daddy, they want to see my toys!" He spoke excitedly and you found yourself giving a defeated nod. You knew that something was about to go down and you we're not prepared for it.

You each went to your cars and went to your home.

---

Dean wasn't stupid.

You left him five years ago and now you show up with a 5 year old child who has the same eye color and freckles just like him.

He didn't know how it happened, but he knew the child was his.

And knowing that you hid it from him made him more angry then he cared to admit.

---

You were at your house, Castiel and Sam we're playing with your kid while you made coffee with Dean watching you.

"Papa, can you please get me my puzzle so I can play with the giant!" Castie asked, and you smiled at Sam's bitchface.

You went to Castie's room and were looking for the puzzle when you heard the bedroom door close and turned around to see Dean standing before you.

"Are you psychotic or something? How did you do that?" He pushed you up against the wall with his hand around your throat, "Is he a clone of mine or what?"

His large hand tightened around your throat, "What are you talking about, Dean?"

"The child. He's a copy of me. Did you do any sick spells to copy me?" He questioned, anger getting stronger and stronger.

The tightness in your throat made it difficult to even answer the question.

"Dean let him go, NOW!" Castiel's deep voice came out of nowhere and pushed Dean off you, "The child was the result of a spell, but not done by Y/N himself. He was a victim of the spell." The angel explained and Dean gestured for him to keep going.

Honestly, you would have rather let Dean continue to hate you than know the truth.

"Five years ago, Y/N was hit by a witches spell. The spell was supposed to kill him, but she mispronounced it and ended up casting an old spell that allowed male pregnancy. That's what happened. It wasn't his fault." The angel explained.

Dean looked back and forth between you and Castiel and you could see pain, hatred, and sadness in his eyes.

"Leave the room, Cas. I want to talk to Y/N alone." The hunter ordered and started pushing the angel out, or at least tried to.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Cas stated firmly.

"You can go, Cas. If anything happens, I know that you're only one prayer away."

The angel looked at you hesitantly before nodding and leaving the room.

Dean closed the door and looked at you.

"We have a son and you never even thought of telling me. The child's father?!" He yelled at the top of his lungs angrily at you for not even bothering to tell him that he has a kid.

You sighed, "Look, I didn't want to see you after what happened. I was already confused and stressed out about having a damn baby inside me." You sighed again, "I really don't want you here."

He was so angry that he punched the wall and you flinched slightly, "Dammit, Y/N. He's my son for crying out loud!"

"Oh, please. Your son my ass." You scoffed bitterly, "I raised him for the past 5 years with Castiel. If he's anyone's son, it's Cas's son."

"No, Dean," You denied, "You were the one who made me leave you, or don't you remember what you said that night." You stalked forward towards Dean who stood right there in his spot, "Oh Sam, Y/N is just a temporary thing. A way to get free and easy sex. He is not who I want in my future. He is only there until I find someone I really love." You imitated his speech from that night before walking away and sitting on the bed as Dean stayed silent.

He rolled his eyes and let out a bitter laugh, "So this is it? You and Castiel? Did you leave me to be him?" That sentence through you for a loop and that made anger that you have been trying to hold in resurface

"I'm just doing what I always wanted. I got out of the hunting life and your life, and I didn't want to add a baby on top of your plate." You got up and went to the shelf, picked up the puzzle for Castie, "You can go ahead and fuck some girl in a bar, marry her and have a perfect family." You opened the door and left the room wth Dean staring at the ground in regret.

---

The rest of the day you and didn't speak to each other. He looked at you with a sad expression on his features, but you focused your attention on Sam and your son.

Cas told Sam everything that had happened in the past 5 years and he offered help if you wanted it.

Obviously, you accepted his offer and said that he could visit his nephew whenever he wanted.

You offered them the guest room and sofa for them to sleep on. As much as you didn't want to see Dean, you wanted to be able to get your relationship back with Sam.

---

The brothers solved the case in 3 days. They said goodbye and soon left after that.

During their stay, Dean was restless and always seemed to be thinking about something, but you chose to ignore it and just pretend that the conversation between you two never happened.

---

Days have gone after the Winchesters hunt. Your boss for some reason asked you to leave for a few days. They would be disinfecting the building and you weren't complaining. After all, you could have more time with your son.

Castie had been a little weird in the last few days. He was more reserved and closed off a little. You saw him laughing now and then along with talking to himself, but when you asked him he said his only reply was that it was a secret. You just assumed it was something little children went through, but with your former life, who knows.

You were in the kitchen, baking a pie.

Castie, unfortunately was just like his dad when it came to favorite foods. You just put the pie in the oven when you smelt something strange and vaguely familiar.

Freakin' sulfur.

You ran into Castie room where you saw the door was strangely closed and locked. You kicked open the door.

You ran inside and saw a woman with Castiel on her lap.

"The young child has Winchester blood inside him. He could be very useful." She turned to face you with her black eyes.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Just leave him alone, please." You pleaded.

Castiel seemed to be sleeping on her lap while she pointed a knife at his throat.

"Why should I? Winchester no-" A demon killing bullet went straight through her head before she could finish.

"Y/N!" A deep voice called out to you, but you ignored it and ran to your soon and was glad to see that he was okay.

"Y/N is everything okay?" You heard Dean ask and you nodded

"Shit, that was too close." He exclaimed.

"This is a perfect example of why I didn't want you to get too close to him. Now, he is a target. Demons and other monsters will be targeting him." You sighed.

"Y/N," Dean started, "I know this life is dangerous with everything that comes with being a hunter, but you'd be safer with me." He said and you rolled your eyes, "The bunker is the safest place on earth and-"

"I'm not going to raise my son with any connection to the supernatural world, Dean!" You exclaimed as Castie started to wake up.

"Daddy? What happened?" He asked, turning to face Dean, "Father? You came back!" He ran out of your arms and went straight to Dean's.

"Father?" You questioned.

Dean looked down at the ground as he ran his fingers through his son's hair, "I told him."

You looked at him as if you wanted to kill him, and you kinda wanted to.

In addition to putting your child's life at risk, he made his way back into your life.

"He needed to know Y/N." Dean tried to reason in with you.

"Daddy, father. You'll be together with me now, right?" He looked at you with puppy eyes

"Castie your dad and I have problems and I don't think it would be good for"

"We have problems that need to be worked out. Problems that I will overcome and I will not commit again." Dean spoke proudly, as he took Castie into his arms.

"Can we please daddy! Father told me that he lives in a fortress! It must be much nicer than our house! There must be lots of toys there!" Castie said excitedly and you wondered what toys could possibly be in a bunker.

Trying to hide things from Castie didn't work out anymore. The supernatural world wants his head on a silver platter now and you didn't know if you would be able to protect him by yourself now.

You really didn't want to go back with Dean, but the bunker is a safe place and you would do anything to keep your son safe.

You sighed, "Okay, we're going with him, Castie. Go get your things while I talk to your father, okay?"

“Okie dokie! "He happily picked up his toys as you and Dean made your way out of his room and into your room.

"Just so we're perfectly clear, I'm doing this for him. Do you understand? I don't want us to go back to being how we used to be. Let alone stay in the same room as you. Got that?"

"If that's what you want, Y/N. But, I changed, okay? I have been miserable without you. You are the light of my life, and I didn't want to admit it and pretended that you weren't important but, without you all I did was drink and-"

"You used to do that all the time when we were in a relationship together. Seems that you haven't changed as much as you thought you did." You interrupted him, leaving the room to go help your son pack.

Dean knew it wasn't going to be easy to get you back or even to trust you again. He expected it to be difficult. But, he would get there and he would win you back and would raise his son together with you.

He had no limits when it came to getting you and son to move into the bunker to be near him and to get you back into his arms.

Hell, he already hired a demon to almost kill his own son just to scare you.

But, he didn't die and now you, and Castie are safe and would be living with him.

The only thing he had to do now was get rid of that damn angel and he could finally have the perfect family he always wanted.

#dean winchester x male!reader #dean winchester x male reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural x male reader #male reader #x male reader

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

Text

I feel like I should be posting more original content. I’ve been here for so long, posting original content analyzing every detail of this show, and posting literally millions of words on the subject, and the show has gone and done exactly the thing I’ve been writing about, confirmed in text that the story I’ve been watching in the subtext is really the story they were telling all along.

And I could be posting gleefully about the beauty of the most intense metanarrative, the absolute bananapants layers of meta in any piece of media I’ve ever consumed in my 46 years. From the self-referential and universe-bending plotlines to just how deeply embedded ALL of this has become as the central core narrative of the final season, as the characters grapple with what is even real when they’ve been characters in a story beyond their control or understanding for so long only to come so close to earning their freedom and “becoming real” by using their OWN words and declaring for themselves their truth and their happiness and their love.

It’s... mind boggling that everything I’ve ever written about this show is coming back around in a final grand swoop of the narrative arcs that I honestly don’t know what else I can do aside from waving one hand at canon and inviting everyone to just read the entirety of this stupid blog while looking smugly satisfied with myself.

It’s about love. The whole story is, was, and always will be about love. And not just destiel, but the whole damn show. The character of Dean Winchester, for all the jokes about being emotionally constipated, is essentially the embodiment of selfless love and has been since the start of the show. But because of the story itself, he had to become hardened to it, to accept that it wasn’t something he could have for himself if he lived the life he did. And yet he never let that destroy him, despite now understanding that that’s exactly what Chuck spent the last 15 years (and really the entirety of Dean’s life) attempting to do-- to break him for the sake of the story.

Cas’s confession in 15.18 wasn’t just about how Cas loves Dean, but why. Cas, the only version of Castiel in any of Chuck’s infinite universes who broke free of Heaven’s command, did so because of the love he saw in this selfless but self-hating man. Years of crack posts about Dean breaking angels cannot even begin to touch how deep this goes.

One line in Cas’s monologue about Dean thinking of himself as “daddy’s blunt instrument” was a line from season THREE, before Cas ever even MET Dean Winchester and began to know him. It was a phrase that had never been spoken aloud in reality. It happened literally inside Dean’s dream, where he knew he was doomed to go to hell and was confronted by the demon version of himself. Dean said this line TO HIMSELF, IN A DREAM, TWELVE SEASONS AGO. And then yelled down that demon-dream version of himself with this:

DREAM DEAN: Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?

DEAN: Son of a bitch!

DEAN pushes DREAM DEAN hard, knocking him into the wall above the desk.

DEAN: (screaming angrily) My father was an obsessed bastard!

DREAM DEAN tries to get up and DEAN kicks him down on the desk again. DEAN holds the weapon as a bat and hits DREAM DEAN once and then pins him to the wall with it.

DEAN: All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He-

DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.

DEAN: He's the one who let Mom die. who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

DEAN shoots DREAM DEAN twice in the chest. As he lowers the weapon and looking at DREAM DEAN, we see the latter is dead. Blood is splattered on DREAM DEAN's face and his eyes are closed.

And then after that, spoiler alert, he went to hell and Cas pulled him out.

Dean: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell? Castiel: Good things do happen, Dean. Dean: Not in my experience. Castiel: What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?

It took him YEARS to truly get past this. He didn’t really get to confront his own father until season 14, in a sort of “It’s A Wonderful Life” sort of episode where he could see what his life might’ve been like if things had turned out differently. And oh, Cas isn’t in his life. But he gets to confront John with his own self-acceptance, his own confidence in the life he’s made for himself and the people (including Cas) who have become his family. He gets to hear from John that he never wanted that life for Dean, and Dean gets to say, well I would choose this life anyway.

Until Chuck’s revelation pulled that rug out from under him. Dean had been-- if not deliriously happy, at least content with his life. Because it was HIS. And then he found out it wasn’t, that Chuck had always been writing the broad strokes of his life, had always been the one throwing catastrophe after apocalypse after cosmic crisis directly in his path because he wanted to watch Dean struggle to save the world yet again, and finally give him the ending to the story that Chuck wanted-- a broken and devastated Dean who’d sacrificed everything for the story yet again. And suddenly NOTHING about anything made sense to Dean anymore, and even Cas showing up in his life and then weirdly sticking around all these years was suspect to him. He trusted nothing, not his choices or his feelings or his own happiness.

But now? We know (and Dean knows) that Cas was one thing Chuck just couldn’t control. That he was never supposed to think for himself and rebel and fall in love with Dean. And Dean knows that too. He knows all of it. And ALL of that just went wooshing through Dean’s central processing unit in the span of two minutes and came up error messages, because it was too late now and Cas was gone again, and there might not be any getting him back this time.

So unless Dabb era has been entirely about destroying everything that was ever good about this show, and about their own storytelling, and the metanarrative and the subtext and the character arcs, making Dean and Cas’s relationship the main emotional arc of the entire season demands that Dean get a chance to answer to this.

If love is truly the ultimate weapon of their salvation, as the show has been screaming since s11, then Dean gets to keep Cas. Because anything less is failure at this point.

I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to many people in my inbox, but honestly I’m too tired to deal with anxiety over how the story will end. I only care about the story, and I’ve written more about it in the last howeverlong I’ve been at this than I can possibly reiterate before the next episode airs. All I can do is point and gawp at the fact that the story is what I have always thought it was, and be content.

Revenge of the Subtext, indeed.

#spn 15.18 #destiel #the scheherazade of supernatural #revenge of the subtext #it's spirals all the way down #order vs chaos and darkness vs light #using your words #grand unification via love theory #there's probably 3000 posts across those tags and more in other tags linked to those if you wanna know how i feel about this show #i feel like i've written everything bar the shouting at the end at this point #lol including Revenge of the Subtext aka my first dcbb fic back in 2015 so like... *eternal shrug emojis*#i don't know what else to say at this point other than you either read anything i've written in the last 8 years or so or like...#nothing i say now is really gonna help i guess #lol i even wrote about how chuck was controlling the story way back in s11 so like...#i think i was one of the few holdouts in s11 who was convinced that amara didn't need to be killed but reunited with chuck #from like two days after 10.23 aired and before we knew she was amara or that chuck would ever come back #or that he was god lol... i was calling them darkness and light or creation and destruction #i wrote a lot of wackadoo sounding shit because we had no context to define them yet but ALL of it held up all season #and then dabb era ushered in the age of the metanarrative where the story unfolded on at least six levels simultaneously #and i get that's not every casual fan's cup of tea but for someone invested in the characters it ws GLORIOUS #they laid this whole trail of subtext and meta breadcrumbs all the way up to this point circling around a huge pole holding up the entire #story... and the center of it all is LOVE and it's an angel's love of a single human that the show has been pointing at forever #you draped yourself in the flag of heaven but really you did it all to save one human... hello season 9!#and a broken human's love of an angel he feared he could never deserve... and that's the love that can defeat every cosmic power out there #that's what we have left to watch in the final two episodes and i honestly don't know what else to say #love wins

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crispyjenkins · 3 years

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buir i ask ur opinions on one sam winchester (i am entirely neutral on him, go off)

oh goodness, you know not what can of worms you have opened

basically, i think as early as the second season, the showrunners and writers like. didn't realise they had shifted the entire show to be about dean. like they just kept trying to make sam the focus, but then giving all the actually interesting plots to dean, and then being like "oh shit we've made dean more interesting again, we have to try and make it about sam again". like. hell. purgatory. his near death situations in seasons 4-9 (that’s about where i stopped watching), just about everything bad that happened about dean HAD to happen to sam later, in order to like try and keep him as the main character, but it just cheapened just about every plotline and made the show repetitive as fuck.

here’s abouts where i say i genuinely liked jared padaleki's performance of him, especially post soulless-sam, the writers just. kept trying to shove him into a protagonist role while also continuously writing him out of one.

now, sam as a character can eat my GODDAMN ass. maybe it’s just ’cause i have good relationships with my siblings, even the one i don’t talk to much cause he moved out years ago and i'm autistic, but fucking hell the way he treats dean and how much he expects from him and how much of his trauma from their dad he projects on dean, like. unlike other characters i dislike but think were important like qui-gon, or a.d. janson, i think most of sam just wasn’t written well, so jared padaleki didn’t have enough to work with to make him a worthwhile character. what i mean is like, sam's trauma is never addressed narratively, and how much the shown pushes family and brotherly love made sam's gross behavior... somehow acceptable.

i can’t speak to anything after season 12-ish, like the only thing i know is the turbo-hell situation, but i sincerely doubt anything improved on this front.

in regards to benny, i forget the purgatory timeline a lil like how long they were together, but it was about a year i think? regardless, in the short time they knew each other, benny like.... was way more of a brother to dean than sam ever was, in a way that should have been intentional narratively from the writers and directors, but then the contrast is never even addressed in the show. like the same way sam's grossness to dean should have had a purpose narratively and continutively, it was just changed and flip-flopped to fit what story they were telling per episode.

i sort of stopped watching the show mainly because benny was killed off. that once again dean had to be the tragic hero the writers kept forgetting sam was supposed to be. like we were offered a taste of what brothers hunting together should be like, how good it could be, and then they killed him off ’cause the writers belatedly realised he was a better-built character than the one they had spent 8 seasons trying to convince the viewers was important or even likeable.

#i don’t even care about spn anymore #but i will never stop caring about benny and dean and especially their relationship #brotherly or shippy or queer platonically im just #all fucking about it #not star wars #cj answers #supernatural #anti sam winchester #but like #based on writing and the show going just too damn long #hashtag rant

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msmarvelouswinchester · 3 years

Text

Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 4 - My Apologies

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None

WC - 2551

Square Filled - Fluff ( @girl-next-door-writes's Make Me Feel Bingo); Neighbours AU ( @anyfandomfluffbingo )

A/N - A new chapter! Hope you enjoy reading this!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 <33

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Click. Click. Click.

Adjusting her glasses on the nose, Y/N toyed around with the pen in hand, blankly staring at the kitchen wall. The empty sheet of paper sat there on the table, glaring at her. It was a bit old-school, considering her laptop was lying only a small distance away but this was how she preferred to work on her novel. It had nothing to do with her laziness.

The fear of another rejection was weighing heavily on her and she was really close to giving up on her dream of being an actually published writer. However, after her little pep talk to herself last night, she had this new indomitable spirit ignited inside her. Though that spirit was fading away with every passing minute now.

Y/N dropped the pen on the table with a huff, its metallic body hitting the wooden surface of the table as she got up to make herself a cup of coffee. Now, she might not want to admit it, but her novel wasn't the only thing that was troubling her.

A stranger’s callous comments should never hurt so much but when Dean called her stupid or rather a brainless idiot, for some reason, Y/N took it to the heart. She had then come to the conclusion that he was an ass and it was futile to even try and start a healthy relationship, but the bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter in front of her changed every perception of him yet again.

Ms. L/N, I didn't have any intentions of humiliating you. I'm really sorry. I hope you accept this small token of apology.

Walking up to the counter, Y/N picked up the small, white card and read the handwritten apology for the hundredth time that day. She didn't know if she should be impressed at his tacky methods of apologies or be annoyed at him for wrecking her mental sanity. Shaking off her thoughts, she was just about to dive back right into her writing when the coffee machine beeped.

“This is not gonna work.” She sighed, pouring one cup of the warm liquid and bringing it close to her lips. After finishing her drink, she decided to go out on a walk to clear her head but just as she stepped out of her house, she heard soft pitter patters of feet out in the hallway before a small figure of a hazel-eyed girl came into her sight.

Y/N tilted her head in confusion as the little girl ran in the halls. She looked around for her parents, but didn't see anyone else.

“Hey, pretty girl. What are you doing out here all alone?” She called out to the girl, making her stop in her tracks and look at Y/N.

“Daddy says not to talk to strangers.” She said while she cautiously approached the woman anyway.

“Where's your Dad?" She smiled softly, " I'm Y/N. See now you know me.”

“Daddy's-”

“I told you to stay inside, babygirl.” Y/N’s heart skipped a beat when she heard the all too familiar voice of her ridiculously handsome neighbor before the tall figure of the man himself appeared in front of her. His eyes were focused on the little girl as he walked up to her. Dean crouched down to her height, hands gently placed on her shoulders. “Never go anywhere alone again. Alright?”

Does he have a daughter?

But she had never seen the girl before. Y/N was in awe as she saw the grumpy facade fade away when he talked with her. She realised that there were so many things about Dean that she truly didn't know. Maybe she had, after all, misjudged him on some petty conflicts.

“At least your kid was within the building.” Y/N said.

“Ms. L/N.” Dean regarded and turned to look at her. He shuffled on his feet which made Y/N raise a curious brow.

“Hello, Mr. Winchester.” A look of guilt with an underlying hurt flashed in his eyes when she didn't acknowledge him by his first name. He was very sure his effort at a decent apology had been appalling and it made him wince, thinking of the awfully cringy card he had curated by his own hand to convey his regrets.

“She is pwetty.” The girl tapped his knee, attracting his attention while looking at Y/N.

“Y-yeah.” Heat crept up Y/N’s neck when she heard Dean agree with the kid. A moment of awkward silence passed as Dean looked back up at the woman, this time his gaze not faltering making the woman’s cheeks warm up even more. “She is pretty, baby.”

“You are prettier. Look at you! You look absolutely stunning in that dress and hair!” Y/N jumped in deciding to not make the situation more awkward. She hoped that Dean was maintaining his usual poker face, but instead, the corner of his lips tugged up in a little smile as the girl diverted her attention to Y/N.

“Uncle De did my hair.” She said proudly and Y/N stared at Dean. Uncle De? Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought of him to be such a gentle soul. She now remembered that the last time she saw Dean, he had told her about meeting up with his brother.

“He did an excellent job, I see.” The woman said as Dean got up and stood up straight. “What's your name, pretty girl?” She looked up at Dean, as he nodded his head.

“Ava.” She muttered.

“So Ava, remember next time to not go anywhere without Uncle De’s permission. Promise?” Y/N said and walked up closer to the two humans as Ava nodded her head agreeing to her proposition, all the while Dean’s eyes trailed along the woman's every movement. He was the best in his profession and he excelled at reading his client's body languages to figure out conflict, but Y/N was like a puzzle to him right now so he decided to take matters in his own hands.

“I hope you liked the flowers.” There it was, subtle, but at least he owned up to his apology. Y/N observed him for a moment, watching as he was nervously wringing his hands together. He seemed nervous around her. This wasn't the Dean Winchester she had come to know in the last few, quite unfortunate encounters.

“I did.” Y/N wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. He tightly held Ava’s hand to not let her out of his sight.

“De-” she pouted, “Uncle De!” The said man looked down at his niece.

“Stay put for a moment, babygirl. Uncle De needs to talk to this lovely young lady. Then we can go and get ice cream, like I had promised.” He said, before looking up at Y/N. “Listen, I'm sorry for what happened that day. I did not-” Sighing, Dean said before he was unceremoniously cut off by his phone vibrating in his pocket.

His face scrunched up as he stared at his phone screen. Sucking in a deep breath, he let the phone ring until the caller reached the voicemail. He chewed on his plump, pink lip when his phone lit up with a voice message. Y/N had an instinct he was avoiding someone, maybe an ex. Dean must have had some girlfriends.

“I'm sorry, I was saying-” the phone rang again and Dean was so close to throwing the little device against the wall.

“I think you should take that, which seems important. And I would leave you with your work things. I was going out for a walk anyway. Have a good day, Winchester.” Y/N said and walked right past the man.

“Hold up!” Y/N stopped walking before turning around to face the lawyer. “I never had the intention of hurting you.”

“Then you know the story wrong.” She said, shrugging

“Well if we study closely, the scarecrow was actually very intelligent but he never realised it.” Dean shrugged.

“So you're saying that I act stupid.” This time Y/N wasn't offended but she liked watching him squirm.

“N-no I didn't mean that-” He struggled to come up with yet another apology. “Can we drop the subject of the scarecrow? Let's just pretend the story doesn't exist in this context.” Y/N chuckled at the poor man, making him shake his head lightly.

“It's okay, Dean. Go, get the kid some ice cream.” She smiled.

“Join me for a drink sometime.” Dean blurted out without thinking. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he stared at Y/N, trying to gauge her reaction.

“I never pegged you for a guy to ask me for a drink.” She raised a brow at him.

“The card and flowers were pretty lame, I agree…but I do owe you a drink, or maybe a coffee, whatever you prefer.” He said. He knew his method of apologising was crappy but at that moment it was the best he could come up with. Dean never was a man of many words and he sucked at expressing his feelings so it was near impossible for him to think of anything better than this, but now he realised it would have been much better if he would have just knocked on her door.

“Sure.” Y/N nodded.

“How does tomorrow sound? Ava will be back with my brother by then. As you can see I kind of have my hands full right now.” He smiled. Y/N pondered over the sudden change in her hot neighbour’s behaviour. If this was the way Dean chose to open up to her, then so be it.

“Tomorrow sounds good,” she smiled back.

“G-great then!” Heat crept up his neck as he looked at Ava, a bit flustered. He didn't know what her deal was but she always rendered him speechless or stumbled on his own words, trying to form a good comeback. Y/N had an effect on him that neither Jo nor Lisa had ever had on him. Her perky attitude made him want to spend any time he got with her. They were poles apart but Dean found a sense of familiarity in her.

“I won't hold back you two any longer.” Crouching in front of the girl and ruffling her brown hair, Y/N said, “Don't settle with anything less than a triple scoop.”

“Don't give her any ideas,” Dean teasingly warned, “I have no idea how to deal with a kid on a sugar rush.”

“Then don't shy away from asking for a little help. I had to babysit my cousin's kids many times. I know a thing or two about babysitting,” Y/N said.

“I'll definitely take you up on that if things get out of hand.” He said, “See you tomorrow night. Have a good day, Ms. L/N.” He grabbed Ava’s hands tightly, pulling her close as he started to walk towards the elevator. Y/N shook her head, an amused laugh leaving her lips. Some things never change.

“I think the cupcakes worked their magic!” Dean teased, sharing a laugh with Y/N over a glass of Manhattan. This was the first time she had ever seen him laugh. Apparently, he was a happy drunk.

“Some roots of jasmine, rose thorns, a pinch of pearl dust and voila! You have the friendship potion,” She barely made it through with a straight face before bursting out in fits of laughter.

“I had a feeling that there was some kind of sorcery involved.” He said, signalling for another glass for both of them.

“This one’s on me,” Y/N said, making Dean scrunch up his face in an adorable pout.

“No it's not. I'm payin’, I was the one who asked you out.” His eyes immediately widened when he realised what slipped out through his mouth. “Not like an ‘asking out’ asking out. This is-” Dean waved at the space between them “-just a gesture of goodwill.”

“You're adorable.” Y/N giggled.

“What?”

“I know this isn't a date. Just two friends hanging out on a Sunday night.” She shook her head, chuckling as the man picked up his refilled glass and took a sip.

Even if Y/N said it was platonic, the ungodly amount of time she had spent in front of her closet to pick out a perfect outfit would definitely make her rethink her answer. She had skimmed through her closet, trying to find the dress that said ‘just friends’ but to her all the dresses she owned screamed ‘I want you to fuck me’.

Nevertheless, she had settled on a simple pair of blue jeans and a crop top. But she had felt seriously underdressed when she knocked on Dean's door and it had opened to reveal the man in a jeans t-shirt and black slacks, staring at her with a smile on his face.

“Well duh! My first impression of you kinda sucked.” Y/N said.

“I did warm up to ya, didn't I?” Dean chuckled. “Another round?”

“Nuh-uh. Sparkling water for me. I don't want to show up at work tomorrow puking my guts out. And that while nursing a painful hangover? No thanks” She laughed.

“You're no fun!” He chuckled with her.

“I am no fun? What about you, Mr. Turn-down-the-volume?” She said as the bartender pushed a glass of water towards her and poured out another to the man.

“You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?” He shook his head.

“Never.”

A moment of silence passed as Y/N looked across the nightclub buzzing with people just like any other Sunday night. She never thought Dean would be the person to even know about nightclubs around the city but guess she didn't know him that well.

“You wanna head back home? I can walk with you to your place, be all gentlemanly,” he smirked. She liked this drunk version of Dean. He was happier, far more cheesy and funnier than his workaholic version.

“Of course. It's not like we live in the same apartment,” she teased. “Hey, you wanna hit the dance floor before we go back?”

His eyes widened at her sudden question. “No, I don't dance.” He shook his head furiously, clearly stating that dancing was definitely not on his agenda.

“Oh come on, don't be shy.” She said.

“Nope.”

“Fine! You are no fun!” She rolled her eyes, “Let's get outta here then.”

The walk back to their apartment was filled with drunken giggles and cheesy banter. “I had a fun time tonight. Apologies accepted.” Y/N said, unlocking the door to her home.

“Glad to know that. I couldn't have lived knowing you hate me,” Dean teased, “I had a good time as well. I really needed a break from work.”

“So you do accept that you work too much?”

“Agree to disagree.” He shrugged, leaning against the doorway, “Night, Y/N.”

She walked up to the man and pecked his cheek, making his eyes go wide at the sudden affection. He swallowed hard as she stared up at him with hooded eyes. Patting his arms lightly, she said, “Night, Dean, see you in the morning.”

“Only if you're running late.”

Chapter 5

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

#make me feel bingo #anyfandomfluffbingo #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #au dean x reader #au dean winchester x reader #au dean x you #au dean winchester x you #au dean winchester x y/n #au dean x y/n #dean winchester x you #dean x you #dean winchester x y/n #dean x y/n #irresistibly yours

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hawkland · 3 years

Text

(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k) - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas.

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!

#fic recs #my fic recs #destiel recs #destiel #deancas recs #my destiel recs

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