#like maybe julie went to new york cause she wanted to work enough to support jatp or sunset curve ? but luke felt he was only ever holding | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scnnyfm-old · 4 years

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chicago’s very own sunshine ‘sunny’ carmichael has been spotted on madison avenue driving a bmw 3 series , welcome ! your resemblance to dua lipa is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re sensitive , but being altrustic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be the scent of bubblegum, an abundance of house plants, and freshly baked cookies . ( cis female + she/her )

helloooooo ghouls, goblins, and everything in between. it’s ya girl aneesa or whatever fun nickname you wanna call me, and this is my child sunny! you can reach me via ims or catch me on discord at 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐚 🦋☀#5408

* && 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬

full name — sunshine carhmichael

nicknames — sunny (preferred name actually)

birthday — july 15

height — 5′ 8″

age — twenty-three (23)

pronouns — she/her/hers

occupation(s) — singer, record executive, fashion/cosmetics brand ceo, fashion designer, reality show star, & model

languages spoken — english (barely)

orientation — bisexual

* && 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑺𝑶 𝑭𝑨𝑹...

sunshine hawthorne grew up in the foster care system, according to the letter her mother left her, she was just a teenager with strict religious parents who threw her out the minute they learned of her pregnancy, and sunshine’s father was nowhere to be seen, and giving sunshine up was easier than living on the streets trying to fend for herself and a child

SEXUAL & PSYCHICAL ABUSE TW growing up in the foster care system was a lot, she bounced from family to family, and the things that happened were unspeakable. sometimes the abuse was physical, emotional, or sexual and it just caused a lot of deep personal trauma for herself that was never resolved

this caused her to become reserved, stuck up for the underdog even if it was at her own expense, just intrinsically unselfish, has always been the mom friend to a fault

she was 10 when she got adopted into an extremely wealthy family, like i’m talking top ten wealthiest families in the states, and suddenly sunny hawthorne became sunny carmichael

so let’s take a minute to talk about the carmichael’s

they originate from old money, i’m talking so far back it’s unclear whether or not the money they have was obtained legally or not, this caused her parents to be a little reckless w their spending

her father: sebastian carmichael is the one who inherited the wealth from his father, who inherited it from his father, and the cycle continues, he was addicted to gambling add that to the fact that he was a serial cheater and you have an extremely poor father figure

ALCOHOL & DRUGS TW her mother: davina carmichael was a drug dependent alcoholic who spent all of husband’s money to makeup for the fact that he was cheating on her, started her own billion dollar company from scratch, plans on ‘giving it’ to sunny

the carmichaels were very problematic and all of their scandals were extremely public, in fact the only reason they adopted sunny in the first place was so that they could appear more well-rounded then they were

after that would come give siblings, and it fell upon sunny to take care of all of them, so from a young age she acted extremely mature, learned to fend for herself, and still managed to have a soul flourishing with tender spots

sunny was a gifted kid, not academically, she struggled A LOT, she had trouble paying attention, couldn’t read as well as the other kids. she got teased a lot for being ‘dumb’ and honestly hated it, it’s one of her biggest insecurities to this day. but what she lacked academically she made up for artistically, she was musically inclined, and it was clear that she loved to draw (apparent from all the doodles in the margins of her notebooks)

her family capitalized on this as if she were some sideshow attraction, come see our daughter! look how good she is at painting and doodling! pay us money! and although it made her feel like some trophy the could polish and show off, and this messed up sunshine even more because she knew deep down they didn’t love her

in high school she was the bubbly ditzy popular girl, chewed on enough bubblegum to finance a new mercedes, and just was that stereotypical girl ripped straight out of an early 00′s movie

was on the cheerleading team because again i tell you she was just living her best teen life! having an amazing time! vibing!

although her parents could give her anything they wanted and were decent enough to pay the bills for her and her siblings, she wanted to provide for herself, not have to depend on her parents for anything

she got into modeling! and although t took her a while to find her footing eventually she did, and it was a great time! but eventually parents got jealous and made her quit modeling altogether, because god forbid that she get more attention than they did

eventually (and to everyone’s surprise lmao) she went to college, and somehow got accepted into an ivy league....for art! not as surprising, but her family lied and said she went to business school bc of course they did

she went to harvard and majored in visual arts, she got her degree, and got her her happy ass out of there, mostly stayed focused on her studies, occasional party here and there

she was extremely worried about her siblings and she immediately went back home to them, surprisingly they were in one piece, not surprisingly they were being raised by nannies

she applied her visual arts degree and started designing clothes, then modeling said clothes, because although her parents had enough money to get her company off the ground, she wanted to do it by herself

and she did! finally bringing a decent name to the carmichael family!

was a guest judge on a bunch of modeling/runway shows, occasionally starred in her family’s reality tv show against her will, and was so dynamic she would be offered her own, and of course she jumped at the opportunity!

her mother tried handing off the company to her, and she declined! instead she opened up her own company selling her designs and was very hands on in learned to make cosmetics, and her company has been doing extremely well so far, it’s set to surpass her family’s company in a couple of years

as if she didn’t have enough on her plate she wanted to pursue her singing career, ended up having a whirlwind romance w a singer that she collaborated with, they were pretty serious and talked about being engaged, but eventually things fizzled out

said romance inspired a lot of her music, and encouraged her to keep going with her music career, she even worked her way up to the title of executive of their label, she’s on top of the world

she’s come a long way from the shy girl from foster care who afraid of her own shadow, but she’s lost none of her softness!

still extremely charitable and even started multiple charities all ranging from helping fund the foster care system to providing more funding for no kill shelters (she’s a vegan!) all of her charities are nation wide and oh boy does she have a lot on her plate

has....literally no time for anything else....still tries to prove to herself that she’s definitely not stressed and has so much free time! sdflksj tries to party and have fun, but mostly craves staying inside and takes baths with scented candles and just watches the same romcom over and over again

* && 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

....okay so maybe it’s not completely believable that she got into an ivy league with her own merit, after all she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed and spoiler alert she didn’t

her parents bribed an admissions counselor to let their daughter in their visual arts program, they even donated enough money to renovate the art museum

all of this happened without sunny’s knowledge and she continues to live in blissful ignorance about the whole thing

* && 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

zodiac — cancer rising, cancer sun, & scorpio moon

alignment — lawful good

mbti — infp-t

enneagram — type 2 ( the helper )

temperament — phlegmatic

house — hufflepuff

positive traits — ( + ) altruistic , committed , conceptual , curious , courteous , determined , generous , humble , inventive , imaginative , loyal , loving , organized , passionate , playful , reliable , selfless , supportive , thoughtful , and trustworthy

negative traits — ( - ) anxious , cautious , compulsive , critical , disorganized , dogmatic ,, hyperactive , indifferent , insecure , impulsive , logical , oblivious , pedantic , protective , and resilient

* && 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

please don’t feel limited by this list because i have a brain the size of a walnut and this is all i can think of these are almost all ripped off ryker’s intro bc i’m not creative

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑳....

family friends maternal or paternal cousins

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑪...

past crush current crush flirtationship except she prolly doesn’t realize bc head empty unrequited love ( on either side ) fwbs will they? won’t they? someone her friends are trying to set her up with forbidden love of some kind idk maybe not exes on good terms exes on bad terms first love high school or college romances summer romance childhood crush friends to lovers pr relationship somebody who leads her on

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪...

BEST FRIEND / ROOMMATE PLOT BASED ON NEW GIRL OR FRIENDS PLS I WILL GIVE YOU MY EVERYTHING best friends confidants ride or die sibling like friends close friends neighbors?? enemies to friends reunited childhood friends drunk / party friends someone she’s a good influence on bad influence unlikely friends secret friends, aka friends who do not hang around in the public eye as their family or friends may not get along #married....just they argue and love each other like a married couple

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑵𝑬𝑮𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬...

enemies former best friends frenemies

#abuse tw #drugs tw #alcohol tw #wealthyhq:intro #I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE #please love me #this took so long #for no reason

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thejosh1980 · 4 years

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Update #21 – 1 week at “The Ocean Shores Resort”

A week ago we left quarantine in Adelaide!!!

It's been another week of mixed emotions, but I have to say, for the first time in months, they've been mostly on the positive side of things.

Last Tuesday, we left the hotel without too much hassle. They'd given us a basic breakfast the night before to have first thing and they called us down early; luckily we were ready and down the stairs we went. Before you know it, we were in the hotel reception taking our masks off!

Adelaide and South Australia are COVID free, so no masks, no problems.

The checkout was quick (the big bill comes in a few weeks!!), the staff were awesome and the police informative. They all understand that quarantine is not easy on anyone, and they were patient with our questions and worries. We had won the jackpot of quarantine hotels: Pullman Adelaide and the staff helped make our stay tolerable.

Jumped in a taxi (with masks on cause we really weren't sure yet how to behave in the outside world) and off to the airport. We had to leave the hotel by 07:30, because another bus of incoming “Covicts” were coming in that morning. Our flight was at 11:50 up to Brisbane, so it was yet another waiting game to check in and fly. But first... coffee! (we actually bought a coffee from a coffee shop! Amazing!! It's the small things...).

The flight was about about 2/3's full, no masks.

Landing in Brisbane we had to do a border check, show our papers, explain where we had been and all that. The check was there to stop anyone who may have COVID from coming in without quarantining. Each State has slightly different rules, and they do change from time to time, depending on hotspots and COVID numbers. Because the flight was from Adelaide and we left the hotel directly to the airport, we made sure we had no problems entering Brisbane (Queensland). We definitely didn't want any chance of another 14 day hotel stay!!!

Our original plan was to fly into the Gold Coast airport, which is only about 35 minutes from Mum, but there were no flights on our leaving day, so we had to fly into Brisbane (which is 2 hours from Mum's). My cousin picked us up (bloody legend!). We were hungry, and we went directly to Yatala pies. This was the moment I started to realize we were almost home. The taste of home! (Yatala Pies is a well known bakery south of Brisbane, a regular stop for many).

My cousin could drive us as far as the QLD/NSW border. Once there, we walked across the border and Dave picked us up on the other side. A little complicated, but sure enough, the plan worked.

The whole experience felt like something out of the movies. Not that it was all “Hollywood”. It was more like: I can't believe this is finally happening. I wasn't really in the moment. Yet.

As we were getting close to “The Ocean Shores Resort” (which is the name we have for my Mum's house) I still didn't feel calm...

Anyhow, we arrived, and if you've seen our IG or FB Story on the day, you'd know that when I knocked on the front door, we had actually surprised Mum (a little early), and she couldn't find the front door key to let us in!! So our reunion started off with a scream and eventually a laugh!!

Mum did cry, but we all expected her to cry more... ;) Honestly, I think we both had cried too much the past 2 months, it was no longer needed. It was all about joy and happiness.

After meeting and hugging Alex (some more tears) we entered the house to find Mum had a “welcome home” sign and our picture up on the walls (lots of me and Alex, can't go wrong with that!!).

It was surreal.

A quick house tour for Alex and we settled down. Lots of chatting and catching up to do, and a roast dinner!

We'd made it.

The next morning (Wednesday), a son's work is never done and I was up early to take Mum to school. She's part of the support unit inside the primary school, working with kids with Autism.

Even though her eyesight is deteriorating, Mum can still work. Driving a car; that's out of the question. Reading the “use by date” on a packet of chips is almost impossible. Keeping an eye on children in the playground, developing their social skills or helping them with their school work (considering the text is usually quite large and the pictures bold) Mum can still do really well.

I've learnt she has figured out ways to cope with her eyes. She has a great memory, so once she's told something, she can remember it really well (like recipes for cooking etc). She's still a keen bargain hunter when it comes to shopping. I enjoy learning that she's kept her life as close to “normal” as possible, making small changes to the bigger things to keep her independence.

But it's those small things that are hard to do alone, which is why I'm here...

After dropping Mum off, Alex and I spent the morning of our first full day in Brunswick Heads. This is the town I lived in from the mid 80's until late 90's. I went to primary school here, learned to surf here, and know the old names of the shops (the hair dressers is now a surf shop, the butcher's is a cafe, the ice cream shop is a real estate agent and the bank has recently closed). Lots of changes for me, lots of new things for Alex.

We also went down to the beach, the south wall of the Brunswick River, where the river meets the ocean. We watched some waves. Taking in the salt air (I don't think I ever realized how salty the air is here until now).

It was a relaxing day.

But I still wasn't quite “here” in my head and heart. Leaving Dresden back in July, only to be delayed for 7 weeks, then another 2 weeks in quarantine, was going to take sometime to overcome.

Time to pick up Mum from school... Home... Unpack a little, dinner, chatting and a little TV.

Thursday morning, it was time for another radio interview. To finish off the 3 part story with ABC North Coast Radio I did another live interview with Joanne Shoebridge. I'm always nervous doing these kinds of things, even though in the music world, I've had to do interviews, they were never quite as personal as this.

After we dropped Mum off at school Thursday morning, we drove up to the Cape Byron Lighthouse and luckily got a park up close to the top.

I wanted to introduce Alex to the area as much as I could, without overwhelming her. Brunswick Heads, Ocean Shores, Mullumbimby and Byron Bay all played a big part of my childhood, and I wanted her to at least know these villages a little bit as early as possible. We'd covered Brunswick Heads and Ocean Shores a little, so now it was time for Byron Bay.

Bring on the whale watching!!

Within minutes of leaving the car, we could see whales jumping out and swimming around the cape. It was a wonderful morning. I'm so glad Alex got to see them (in fact I can't remember the last time I saw whales so close to the shore). They migrate each year around September/October, so it was perfect timing.

It was a special day for Alex...

The sun was shining, the whales were in plain sight and the tourists were kind enough to stay away from Byron Bay. COVID does have its benefits. Fewer people in these tourist spots isn't always bad (although I am quite aware the economy is suffering. The borders are opening up next week and it'll be very busy then).

Back into Ocean Shores, picked up Mum from school. Home... Dinner.. Chatting... Some TV...

Friday was the first day we had to do “stuff” in regards to living here permanently, and that was banking. So after dropping mum off at work, we drove into Mullumbimby “The Biggest Little Town In Australia”. I went to high school here.

Basically Brunswick Heads and Mullumbimby are like Neustadt in Dresden. You can't walk down the street without seeing someone you know, stopping and chatting. It happened in Brunz the other day, I literally parked my car, and lo and behold an old high school friend came out of the video store to say hi... Or in Mullum, as we arrive at the bank I see an old friend who used to teach me rock n roll dancing (yeah, I can still cut a rug)... and even inside the bank, I said hi to a fella from my high school year, we hadn't seen each other since 1997.

It's a small world...

The banking took a bit longer than expected, after much back and forward we settled on our new bank accounts and how to arrange things going forward. While I've had an account here since I was very very young, I cancelled most of my stuff when I left in 2002, so now it was time to set up shop again, especially since I had my wife with me and we have a future to work towards...

We walked the street of Mullum, grabbed a coffee and we let the country hippy vibe soak in. Alex commented on how many folks don't wear shoes here and she can't believe how many new coffee shops there are for her to try (there's a lot more than when I was a kid).

Picked up Mum from school... School holidays for 2 weeks! Yippeee!!

Home... Dinner... Chatting... some TV...

Over the weekend we sorted out things around the house. Set up better internet Wifi around the house, the pool is in good condition after the winter sleep, cupboards got cleaned out and we unpacked and the car was washed (first time I've hand washed a car in over a decade!).

Sunday I watched Mark's live stream (from his front porch in upstate New York) and I felt inspired (he does that to me). So I am considering live streaming next week. I have a guitar and good internet, so why not? I just have to find time to practice ;) I'm thinking net Sunday evening here, which would be Sunday lunch time in Germany. If I don't get to it this Sunday, then maybe next Sunday... I'll keep you posted.

Overall the weather has been warm, often over 20 degrees. But the mornings are still quite chilly, with frosty dew on the golf course out back. It's not bad for coming out of winter...

Today, Monday, we went “up the coast”, to Tweed Heads.

First thing we tried to exchange my German license for a mandatory NSW (State) license, unfortunately I gotta wait for some back checks, no idea what I did 19 years ago in Melbourne, but they wanna check it out. So onwards to shopping...

Yes!!! We bought a coffee machine! Finally we can wake and with a press of a button get ourselves a cup of joe. It's the small things....

Helped mum with the grocery shopping. She knows her stuff. She knows where everything is in every shop, but sometimes she just needs me to reassure her what is actually written on the box or package!!!

So that's basically our first week...

We are settling in well. Alex and Mum get on like a house on fire. I often can't get a word in edgewise and I'm always outvoted!

I still miss Germany and I still miss Europe... (I always will). I miss a lot of the “past life”, but that's just cause Australia has moved on without me these past 18 years. Each day here I get a little closer to that homey feeling I used to have as a teenager (when I didn't know better).

In hindsight, the past 3 months wasn't too bad... We survived... But that's easy to say now...

When we were in the middle of it, it was really tough.

It was really hard packing up our lives into boxes. It was emotionally draining saying goodbye after goodbye to our wonderful friends. Playing my goodbye show was one of the musical highlights of my life, even if it was one of the saddest.

Then we were ready to leave...

As you all know, that didn't go according to plan.

That's when the really bad feelings crept in. You know it's one thing to know you gotta pack up and say goodbye to leave (you are prepared for that)... It's another when you're ready and the world says “nope, not yet”... and again and again that build up and let down was happening, and until the last 2 weeks in Germany, we had no idea why!

As some of you know, I'm not really good at spontaneity. I'm not good when the plan changes... It was tough... But...

When we took control of the situation and booked new flights, it helped a lot. We were back in control.

Quarantine was a difficult time, it got a little dark there. It brought with it, it's own set of challenges and a steep learning curve. I, for one, learnt a lot about pressure. I put too much pressure on myself. Since we arrived here, I have tried my best to relax more, in my own way at least. My to do lists are shorter...

Alex and I had already figured out how to survive the German lockdown, the packing up of our lives and clearing out the apartment. Then we had 2 months at her parents stuck in “limbo” and then 2 weeks stuck in a room together. Our marriage is really new, and we survived that without any damage to our relationship. Sure, we both have a few personal scars, but nothing a little love and tenderness wont fix. I'm proud of her, Alex has a lot of patience for me!

I'm really happy I am here to help Mum each day. Those small things will slowly become bigger things, but for now, it's great to be able to do “stuff” with her. That was always the plan, to be here in time, before things got really bad.

We've been posting often on our IG and FB stories, so I hope folks have seen the day to day happenings. I'm sure we'll continue with that, keeping you up to date visually.

I think I'll end these FB journals here, and switch over to Tumblr full time. The idea being that if you'd like to continue to read these long “new life” chronicles, I'll still post a link here when I do update there... Confused? Me too! ;)

Thanks everyone for your messages of support and love. We are very lucky, we have the best friends.... You guys rock! You're awesome! We love you.

Love

Josh and @dauntlesscoffee

#travelblog #australia #byron bay #whale watching #coming home #covid

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warbetweenthevanities-x · 4 years

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So I've got this headcanon. Remember how they had this sleepover in January 2011? That's after X Factor ended. And I've been thinking that this might be where they could have first had sex, cause before that, they were always in that X Factor house and around people and I'm sure some stuff happened there too but nothing all the way. Anyway, that's my headcanon. And I'm suddenly thinking that Why don't we go there sounds like a callback, a memory of that.

Then I wanted to tell you a bit about some thoughts I had before reading your analysis about what I thought when they might have had rocky patches or breakups.

In my head, the happy honeymoon phase actually lasted until mid 2012. at first, when the whole thing with the stunts started, like Caroline, Eleanor, I don't think they took that seriously at all. I think for a while that was more of a laugh to them, which, in my head, is why they were still so flirty in Dallas, Australia and New Zealand in spring 2012

then in June, there were the first signs of real separation. like aborted gestures, where you can really see that they're suppressing their instincts to touch. painful to watch, those gifs always kill me. that's where I think they were really in trouble and realized that management etc were really serious about this, especially with Harry supposedly moving out, the denials they had to do, the "biggest load of bullshit" tweet, and then Haylor. I think all those things hit home real hard. which is also when they start getting their partner tattoos. such a coincidence... (also this screams Through the dark and Something great to me)

anyway, from what I've read, they seemed pretty miserable in 2013 during the tour, visibly separated, tense, pale etc. there were still accounts of them having gone on dates or to parties though, there were the rope and rose tattoos, so I think they held on throughout the first half of 2013. but I can imagine that it was really wearing them down. that would have also been the time when Louis stopped being... well, "flamboyant", and enough time would have passed that all this would have had to mess with them

and then add to that that Harry was constantly being pushed as this front man, eventual solo artist, he had those new friends in London with the group surrounding Grimmy, and I think on top of everything else they would have had to deal with the constant attention Harry was getting, like, they both would have realized just how incredibly popular he was, how many people would have flirted with him. I imagine there was probably a bit of self-discovery for him going on there too, except not in the HarryandLouis bubble, but with others around him. we know how jealous they could both get, and I don't think there was necessarily a lot of drama or distrust about it, but - it was a thing they had to deal with on top of everything else

which is how I explain to myself everything that happened in october: on the 15th, there was a blind gossip article about one of them having cheated on the other, and that Harry was having a coke problem. on the 16th (and 28th), Harry talked about Still the one in 1D concerts, on the 17th, there was that concert where it looks like Harry was getting really choked up at the end of Over Again. that was also the time when this picture was floating around on Instagram with Harry and that model Paige Reifler sitting on top of him in a dressing room, so that's on top of everything else. then add to that that Louis was losing weight and escaped alone to Fiji for a few days...

what I was thinking so far is this: that this was the first kind of sort of but what I see as a possibility is that late summer 2013 to late autumn 2013 things got really rocky with all that going on and piling up. that's what I'm thinking that maybe Louis refers to in his lyrics, when he "gave in to the pressure" (to quote Too young) at the time and actively tried to stay away from Harry, and that Harry was sort of desperately trying to convince him otherwise (see Still the one, I imagine that to have been a way of not just telling everyone else but also telling Louis "hey, you're still my person, despite everything else that's going on, that's all bullshit, please don't do this". it would explain the blind gossip breakup rumours, the Louis going to Fiji alone, Harry during Over again, and... well, I found somewhere that two ghosts was written at THAT time, late 2013, while you have it one year later. but in my head it fit really well here, and maybe Harry's finally like "okay you know what, we'll have it your way then", but regrets that pretty quickly? (Where do broken hearts go referring to that time?)

anyway, there's this theory I read somewhere that they spent christmas 2013 in Holmes Chapel together, and that afterwards, Louis went home and told some family members about Harry, like Lottie and Fizzy, because it seems like he avoided his family for a few months after that, and I can imagine that it would have come as a shock to the girls, especially considering that they had gotten along well with Eleanor

so then in 2014 there seemed to have been a push back to being more open with each other again, lots of receipts seemed to have started popping up about someone having seen them together etc, Blind Gossip even reports that Harry and Nick broke up (haha) and that he and Louis are working things out. lots of Ready to run and Fireproof vibes. there's a receipt that they were in Jamaica together, in The Box on Valentine's Day, they're getting the anchor and arrow tattoos, there's a receipt of someone having talked to Harry about Jamaica and how he said that he was there with his friends and boyfriend, and when he was asked if it was still the same he supposedly said "of course, always". in may they were supposedly seen kissing behind a car, the rainbow bear becomes a thing, july is Jay's wedding after which Lottie definitely starts acting like she knows exactly what's going on (and like she had time to get used to it), they've got matching tans afterwards, several people said they had seen them out having dinner together that autumn, Lottie and Gemma spend lots of time together, Louis gets his dagger tattoo, Harry supposedly talked to someone about his "other half" who he'd been with for 4 years. Harry sold his house and didn't buy a new one, then Louis buys a house in LA that should have been a bit overkill and too expensive just for himself, so it's said that they probably bought it together. february 2015 they fly down to australia together, for the first time publicly on the same flight since 2012

now, from what Louis said about the break, I think he wasn't happy with that suggestion at all at first, cause he'd just felt like he'd really found his place etc. and if Harry really was the one to make it back in 2014, I can imagine that that threw them back into something rocky, especially if we add to that what you said about Harry's desire to explore rockstardom and LA and all that, and Louis was like "... okay where does that leave me/us?" so maybe that's where Love you Goodbye comes in? and what I was actually thinking was, what if Perfect comes RIGHT AFTER. like, the MORNING AFTER. that they decide "okay, whatever happens, we probably won't see each other as much when that time rolls around, but for now let's enjoy this anyway? it would fit if that lead into Olivia with all the "I LOVE YOU" but also the "I'm scared of what happens when you're not here anymore" vibes. and then right into Walking in the wind, and IICF and Home

okay, now something else comes into play that I've been thinking about a lot. so their last concert is in october, then it's officially over and they're free to go and do whatever. but the thing is, before the band's break, they never had to work to be together and see each other. you know what I mean? since their schedules were made for them by other people and they always saw each other. and after the break, it wouldn't be like that anymore. and since they're not used to that, they might not have actively put work into making sure they see each other even if they still love each other. so they might actually have not seen each other more often than not and might have just gone about their lives and done their own stuff. they'd grow apart before they even realize that it's happening. and that's when I think they could have started to fight a lot more, and go back and forth a lot (hello Sweet Creature), and fight some more, and go in circles, and "run out of words" to say because they've said it all before, and finally Harry takes "the higher ground" and puts an end to it (and this is where I get major Ever since new york vibes).

so they don't see each other. they go and do other things (and other people, probably... Carolina?), they get everything out of their system. EVEN THOUGH they probably both know very soon that they miss the other and that it's all not the same without them. I think they still would have had contact from time to time, especially because of Jay and what happened with her and how Harry would have been there for support from time to time and definitely at the end. maybe they even have sex again at some point, who knows (Meet me in the hallway gives me that vibe). Sign of the times totally fits there as well, as a mix between Jay telling Louis "Stop your crying, it'll be alright", and Harry going "we've been here before, will we ever learn, we don't talk enough, we should open up".

and man, From the dining table. Harry's MAJORLY MISSING HIM and real tired of that break. Cherry, even if written later, seems to me about just that time, like, if he ever got wind of Louis with aaanyone else, also Louis seems kind of alright, why does he seem alright if I'm feeling like shit? (cue Louis and Miss you and "everything's fucking great") and maybe they're "trying to be friends" but Harry hates it (just everything that will later be To be so lonely, basically)

also I don't think Lights up is about Louis, or at least - I think it's about Harry more than it is about Louis, and that journey of self discovery he kept talking about. finding out who he is. who he wants to be. sort of his coming out song, but it also reminds me of that struggle they probably did go through about whether they actually would want to come out, officially, or not. but yeah, for Harry it feels like a reflection of him finding himself and becoming comfortable with who he is and where he's at and what he might want. Falling is playing into this in my head too, like you had a connection there as well, the whole identity crisis thing where he'd desperately have missed Louis helping him through it (but ultimately it was probably good that he did it on his own).

and on the other hand there's Louis, doing a shitload of growing, "doing better" in his place on the other side of London "even when it hurts like hell", cause "nothing wakes you up like waking up alone", and he thinks a lot about their relationship and everything that happened and that he'll always love Harry despite everything (Fearless and Habit and "I'm too tired to be tough, just wanna be loved by you" and Always fucking you), AND THEN Harry comes along with that damn album and everything he's saying on it and then they SIT DOWN AT THE FUCKING KITCHEN TABLE AND FINALLY HAVE THAT CONVERSATION. like a real, proper, serious ADULT conversation about how, if they do want this again, they're gonna have to be adults about it and actually put some real, grown up work into their relationship

and basically there's no way they weren't back together at the start of 2018. and we can have all those songs, Golden, Adore you, Sunflower, Canyon Moon, Only the brave (even if he didn't write that by himself) and Fine line (we'llbealrightwe'llbealrightwe'llbealright)

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hellevator-mp3 · 5 years

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storytime || Part 1

Full Title: storytime: my lover’s an assassin and he tried to kill me!

Pairing(s): Markhyuck, Norenmin, Chenji/Chensung

Genre: ??? Not entirely sure what to call this???

Word Count: 5,000+

Warnings: None

Author Note: so um!! this has been a long time coming!! me and my best friend (weirdandawesome15 on ao3!) have been working on this for about two months and we’re finally ready with the first chapter! also, this chapter does jump around quite a bit so please, please, please pay attention to timestamps and dates!! it starts out in the future and then goes into the actual present of the story!

mark had been kidnapped before, someone snatching him from the grocery store aisle just behind his mom when she had her back turned. that was nothing like this, there was no rope around his wrist and no group of people hiding weapons standing in front of him. then, he had screamed and struggled, but now? he’s calm, if only for the fact that their leader is cute.

°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°

2:16 p.m, 8.13.????, location: ???’s backyard

it was a nice gathering, mark had to admit. he wasn’t exactly sure what they were all there for, but food was involved and mark didn’t like paying absurd amounts of money to feed himself and hyuck, so there they were, surrounded (mostly) by people they knew. mark had taken one of the lawn chairs for himself, hyuck settled on one of his thighs with his feet perched on another lawn chair, with someone mark had never met sitting across from them - but hyuck seemed to know him well, considering the way that he was talking animatedly and without the use of honorifics. of course, they had been introduced to one another, mark and the stranger, but mark was horrible with names and couldn’t remember the stranger’s name to save his soul. so he suffered in silence.

that is, until hyuck mentioned his name and mark tuned back in to their conversation, dragging his eyes away from where renjun had jeno in a headlock to keep him from rushing towards the neighbors’ cat, a fluffy thing with bright green eyes that made eye contact with jeno exactly once, and he now swore he was in love.

but mark won’t let himself linger on that. instead, he focused on the words spilling from hyuck’s lovely lips, and the laugh that followed soon after. “…and we didn’t notice until like, five minutes later. renjun went to hit him or something, and mark threw his hands up real quick to protect his pretty face and we all just kinda looked at him like “what?” and mark was like “oh, yeah, i wasn’t supposed to do that”.” hyuck even imitated the way mark had said it, causing the older to pinch his side in retaliation.

the stranger laughed in response to the story and impression, gesturing for the younger boy to continue on with his story even though mark was sending him a withering glare that could kill. “so then what happened?” he asked, eyes alight as he watched the lovers’ interaction.

“well obviously, our beautiful leader aka moi had to tie him up again because that idiot,” he coughed loudly and pointedly, the sound vaguely coming out like ‘jeno’, “can’t tie a proper knot to save his life.” hyuck scoffs and shakes his head in exasperation, “they may be assassins but they’re actually really dumb, all they can do is panic and be gay for their boyfriends.”

the stranger snickered into his hand, “huh, sounds like a certain someone else that we know, eh, hyuckie?” the aforementioned male just sent the other a blank look.

“look johnny, if they were like me, then they would have been much more fabulous and less…ah… mediocre. maybe they’d actually be good at their job.” hyuck threw back, shifting as though he was gonna lunge for johnny had it not been for mark’s hands suddenly on his hips. while hyuck settled back against mark’s chest, mark was burning johnny’s name into his mind, telling himself not to forget it.

renjun scoffed in reply, his hearing suddenly increasing tenfold at the mention of one of his beloved boyfriends. “listen, lee donghyuck,” his lips curled as he playfully spat out the name of the other, while his grip loosened on jeno and the boy finally broke free, “the world doesn’t have enough room for anymore egos like yours. it’s already the size of mount kilimanjaro.” hyuck looked offended at this, tsking playfully back and muttering something under his breath.

when jaemin traipsed out into the backyard to announce that the sweets were ready, he found chaos outside that he thought he had escaped from in the kitchen. under the watchful eye of johnny, jeno and hyuck were wrestling, jeno shouting something about “renjun’s honor”.

jaemin? he turned tail and retreated back to the kitchen, preferring to deal with the two babies covered in flour over the fully grown adults playing in the yard.

7:34 a.m., 5.28.????, location: unknown

an abandoned warehouse was the home of a very peculiar group, one of whom was a male just surfacing from a drug-induced state of unconsciousness. a groan slipped past his lips as he forced his eyes open, feeling cold metal underneath him and something tied tightly around his wrists and ankles, and strung across his hips and chest. the material chafed when he tried to move - ‘that would be rope’, his mind helpfully supplied. with a quiet curse, he looked around, taking in the unfamiliar setting that he found himself in. “shit, how did i – oh my god, i got kidnapped. they told me i’d never get kidnapped but yet, here i am.” his brain was still muddled from the drug, leading him to not fully process the situation, but as he took in more and more of the cracked walls and abandoned machinery, it began to fully sink in. it took everything in him not to struggle, instead trying to calm himself by taking deep breaths. “it’ll be fine, maybe they’ll just let me go. yeah, that’s it, they’ll just let me go and i’ll never tell anyone and –”

the boy’s ramblings to himself were cut short, as a loud voice boomed around the room. “lee minhyung, aka mark lee. current age is 22, born on august 2nd, 1999. you were born in vancouver, canada, but lived in new york, toronto, and now seoul, having moved here in 2009 due to your parents wanting to relocate and reconnect with their roots. currently, you manage ‘ty track’s cat cafe’ alongside lee taeyong, a seoul native born on july 1st, 1995.”

with the reveal of his own information, the boy - now identified as mark - turned to try and find the source of the voice, but to no avail. the warehouse was mostly shrouded with darkness, little sunlight slipping in through the cracks in the walls and broken windows. as more and more information slipped from the stranger’s mouth, a second shout could be heard. “he works at a cat cafe? why didn’t any of you mention that?” the second voice sounded slightly different than the first, slightly lower pitched and more upset. a thump was heard, followed shortly after by a whiny “ouch!”. “jun, why’d you hit me?” the second voice complained loudly, followed by a deep sigh that was clearly the product of many hours of suffering.

“because you were being a dumbass and ruined the whole plan!” a third voice replied, softer than both of the others. although, it sounded not quite as soft with the irritation that was clearly infused into it.

a fourth voice sighed. “i’ll get the lights.”

after a few quiet moments, there was a ‘whir’ and a ‘click’, then light flooded the room. mark squinted blearily, trying to adjust quickly to the light he was attacked with. he heard footsteps coming closer, and by the time he could see properly, there was a group of five men in front of him, and another walking towards them, hair colors ranging from cabbage green to dark brown to a peachy pink and two with faded orange. judging just by expressions, the first voice had to have come from the mousy brown haired boy with streaks of color run through his bangs. the assumption was also supported by the microphone in his hand, and the terribly unamused face he sported.

‘it looks cute on him.’ a voice whispered in the back of mark’s mind, the part that fell too hard and fast and that should really shut up.

the second voice had to be the darker brown-haired man, who was still pouting and holding the back of his head, where he was presumably hit. he kept sending pitiful glances to the shorter of the two orange haired men, who could only be the third voice. what mark assumed to be the fourth person was the cabbage haired boy, who was heading to the empty spot beside the tallest member of their group. now that mark began to look closer, the men - boys - couldn’t be much older than he was. in fact, they looked as though they were a few years younger. mark’s attention was drawn to the conversation that was being had between the dark brown haired boy, and the shorter orange haired boy - ‘jun, that has to be jun’ mark tells himself.

“–mark works at a cafe, and not just any cafe, a cat cafe! a cat cafe, jun! why wouldn’t you tell me that, of all things?” the dark brown haired boy continued to whine, hands gripping onto ‘jun’s sleeve and shaking it slightly. with a sigh, his hand was removed, but it just latched on once more.

‘jun’ gives up with a resigned look. “because we knew you’d react like this, jen.” there was an indignant huff from ‘jen’, and the pink, cotton candy haired boy moved towards the pair, sneaking his arm around ‘jen’s waist.

“aw junnie, you don’t have to be so mean to him. he has a point, after all.” he jokingly scolded ‘jun’, sending a wink his way as he ran comforting fingers up and down his side. ‘jen’ fake cried into his shoulder, making a show for all to see as he turned into the slightly shorter boy. the group could hear him uttering phrases like “you’re the only one that understands” and “see, this is why you’re my soulmate”, which caused ‘jun’ to roll his eyes at the dramatics. the pink haired boy consoled him, patting his back comfortingly. internally, mark was screaming, “this is ridiculous”, but instead of saying anything, he opted to roll his eyes.

“this is sweet and all, but we’ve got other things to do, ladies.” mark’s attention shifted to the boy with the multicolored highlights, who he assumed to be their leader. he certainly acted the part, his attitude screaming a mixture of “cross me and you’ll die”, but also “bitch i’m fabulous”, the latter making mark scratch his head. mentally, of course, given the fact that his hands were still tied. the deadpan look that highlight boy sent to the members made them stop and freeze, quieting their bickering in a second.

mark would never admit the “hot” that echoed around his brain at that.

highlights boy was perched on top of a large crate or box of some sort, twiddling with the microphone in his hands, but hopped off after he began to speak. he clapped his hands twice, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “i guess we can make our guest,” he glances quickly at mark, “feel a bit more comfortable and introduce ourselves. maybe he’ll talk easier if it’s to acquaintances, and not strangers.” he smirked a little at that, a weird twinkle in his eye startling mark for a second.

they form a half-circle around mark, introducing themselves with an air of boredom. the cabbage haired boy called himself ‘zhong’, and the tall boy next to him was ‘park’. it quickly became apparent that these were aliases when the cotton candy haired boy introduced himself as ‘nana’, then ‘jun’ and ‘jen’, who wondered amongst themselves if they should use their last names as well. ‘jun’ shrugged, and said that they should just stick with what they had already.

after their initial ‘introduction’ of sorts, the air became tense with the weight of the questions held on the members’ tongues. mark’s eyes shifted between the six, never stopping for more than a second on each of their faces - except for one. the chestnut-haired boy with the multi-colored highlights was the only one to keep his identity a secret, not even giving mark an alias or code name. there was something in mark’s head that directly associated the caramel hue of the boy’s skin with the sun, officially dubbing him as ‘sunshine’ in his head. it totally wasn’t because of the images that he held in his head, the thoughts that would never see the light of day, definitely not.

‘park’ meandered forward, squatting down in front of mark so that they were eye level. ‘zhong’ followed behind, placing his hand on the taller boy’s shoulder, either to steady him or to control him.

mark wasn’t sure which it was, and didn’t care to find out.

“so, do you know why you’re here?” ‘park’ asked flatly, draining the emotion from his voice. mark shook his head, replying with a barely heard “no”.

the pink haired boy - ‘nana’, was it? - stepped forward from their circle. “it’s because you’re dangerous, mark.”

with the reveal of that information, mark made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded vaguely dog-like. three of the boys stopped, their pokerfaces nearly falling, and ‘jun’ hit one of the other two. “dude, it sounded just like you!” he laughed, and ‘jen’ hissed a “shut up” in reply. ‘jun’ seemed to shrink away, nodding quickly. ‘jen’ noticed his posture, and wrapped an arm around his waist. ‘sunshine’ huffed, muttering something about “the dumb hets that he was forced to deal with”, causing the others to drop their facade completely and begin arguing amongst themselves. “you can’t just call people dumb hets, haechan! especially not the ga-” ‘zhong’ was stopped in his tracks as ‘sunshine’, now known as ‘haechan’, lunged forward and dropped the green haired boy to the floor, fingers interlocked at his neck.

“And you can’t just go around revealing people’s aliases, ch - zhong!” haechan seemed to stutter over his words, and seemed disgruntled when ‘zhong’ began laughing, ‘haechan’ being pushed around by the force of his laughter.

mark just watched in confusion, fingers twiddling with the knot tied over his wrists. amidst their fighting, none of them heard the soft thump of the rope hitting the floor, and mark found himself unable to move due to shock.

it took a few moments for the room to quiet, but when it did, they could hear a pin drop outside if they tried hard enough. mark caught himself counting the cracks in the ceiling, aimlessly wondering if it was sound enough to not come crashing down on them if they were in there any longer. a sigh drew his attention once more, eyes flickering over individual faces before landing on ‘jun’. ‘park’ and ‘zhong’ had retreated silently, standing to the side of the others, and ‘haechan’ had moved to take their place.

“so, you really don’t know why you’re here?” he asked quietly, watching mark’s face intently. mark shook his head, and ‘haechan’ let a sigh slip past his lips. he moved to squat in front of the tied up boy, then seemed to change his mind as he nearly threw himself down and sat cross-legged instead, settling into his position with a groan. ‘zhong’ made a nearly inaudible comment about ‘haechan’ becoming an old man, said boy turning to send a glare his way that could kill if it was possible. ‘zhong’ didn’t seem phased, laughing quietly behind his hand as soon as ‘haechan’ turned away, but it didn’t take long for ‘park’ to shush him and smack the back of his head, gesturing for him to listen. mark’s eyes immediately focused on ‘haechan’ again, waiting patiently for him to start speaking.

‘haechan’ tried to keep up his angry facade, but a smile slipped onto his face when ‘zhong’ just laughed harder. soon enough, the entire group had dissolved into giggles, following the leader. it was infectious, clearly, since none of them knew what was funny, but yet still laughed their hearts out. ‘jun’ was the only one to stay quiet, a fond smile on his lips as ‘nana’ clutched his sleeve, doubled over due to the force of his laughter. even mark had a small smile on his lips, but he would never admit that it was due to the loud, raucous laughter issuing from ‘haechan’. mark simply watched with something akin to fondness in his expression, but soon realized what was wrong with that. ‘they kidnapped you, you idiot!’ he internally berated himself for letting his guard down, remembering exactly where he had been prior to this.

–

11:32 p.m, 5.27.????, location: ty track’s cat cafe

mark sighed as he took a look at the rest of the paperwork spread out in front of him, covering nearly the entire countertop that he normally served drinks over. taeyong, the manager that was meant to deal with the paperwork, was currently on a vacation, leaving mark to watch over the cafe for a week and a half. with a sigh, he realized that there was no way he was going to finish this tonight, and decided to stow away what he had left for tomorrow. the cafe was empty, the other staff having already left him alone to close. the young male let a yawn escape his lips, stretching a bit, and listening to some of his joints pop in the process. he returned all the leftover papers to taeyong’s office, before beginning to put chairs up and sweep the floor, picking up the little bits of waste that were left behind. one of his coworkers, jungwoo, had already washed all the dishes and things, which just left mark to clean up the main area, wipe down the counter, and then he was free to lock up and leave.

he did just that, checking the clock every few minutes until he was finally free to leave. it wasn’t until a quarter ‘till midnight that he was finally walking to his place, to the tiny apartment he called home. the streets were quiet, small groups of people milling around outside of bars or clubs, but they left mark to his own devices as he answered texts that he got during his shift, assuring his manager, taeyong, that he had closed up shop without a problem and was getting home safe.

the walk wasn’t more than ten minutes, and soon he was entering the code for his door, stepping inside and taking off his shoes before venturing inside. he didn’t even bother to put on his slippers, instead padding upstairs to his bedroom that took up the space of a small loft. he threw himself down onto the bed, only after shimmying out of his work pants and sliding on a pair of shorts instead, toeing off his socks as he tried to get comfortable. he knew he smelled of strong coffee and shots of hazelnut, but couldn’t find it in himself to care as his tired body became one with the bed and he slipped into the strange in between state of not quite unconscious, but not quite conscious, either.

he laid like that for a while, the quiet of the apartment creeping into his bones and leaving him there to stew in his thoughts for a few hours before he could drift off.

–

3:15 a.m, 5.28.????, location: mark’s apartment

a crash broke the silence in the small apartment. six figures crept not so sneakily through the space, the two youngest not even bothering to be quiet in their whispering. one of the eldest turned to them, shushing them with a finger to his lips and narrowed eyes that seemed to spit sparks at them. “park, zhong, we’re never gonna secure the target if you two don’t stop with your shenanigans.” the two youngest glanced at one another, shrugged, and crept away the second their hyungs’ backs were turned. the four left continued their journey, ignoring the crashes and bangs that echoed in the kitchen, praying to all that is holy that their target was a deep sleeper - or better yet, dead to the world.

in addition to that noise, there was a small incessant meowing that emitted from the arms of one of the taller boys. the cat bearer was the next to be reprimanded by the shorter male. “and jen, did you really have to bring the cat?” ‘jen’ snorted in response, leaning into the slightly shorter boy next to him. “nana, please tell him it wasn’t necessary to bring the cat. he has no purpose!” the shortest teen complained again, yanking at the sleeve of the significantly taller figure, identified as ‘nana’. before he could reply, ‘jen’s nose was in the air as he huffed out a “well, at least he has a purpose, unlike you” with a pointed glance at the male. he stomped off, kitten in hand, to go join the two youngest in their kitchen escapade.

“so, nana, are you gonna explain the cat?” the shortest turned to ‘nana’, and gestured towards the kitchen, where they could hear whispers of glee and the purrs of the kitten. ‘nana’ gave him a sheepish look, murmuring something under his breath that the shortest couldn’t hear, the only thing he caught being his nickname and alias, ‘jun’. “oh, none of that ‘but jun’ nonsense, spit it out.” he snapped quietly, tapping his foot impatiently. the only other person in the room with them stared at the two, watching as they tossed words back and forth like a tennis match, his eyes flickering back and forth between the two.

“you gotta believe me, i told him not to bring the cat but he gave me those eyes and you know i can’t resist our boyfriend when he gives me those puppy dog eyes.” ‘nana’ pleaded desperately, trying to escape the scorn that he knew was coming.

instead, ‘jun’ rubbed his temples and heaved a sigh. “alright, but next ti-”

his words were interrupted by a loud crash that shook the floor. ‘jun’ knew that soon the neighbors would be calling the police on them, so he grabbed ‘nana’s wrist and hauled him into the kitchen to find out what the others were doing.

the last male, who still stood in one spot and went unnamed, just rolled his eyes at the commotion. “i could have ended up with any other gay squad, but it just had to be this one.” with one more glance at the kitchen, he began the ascent up the stairs to search for their intended target - lee minhyung, aka mark lee.

–

2:50 a.m, 5.28.????, location: mark’s apartment

mark couldn’t sleep. that was not a rare occurrence, but never before had he tossed and turned so much, only to be avoided by sleep. it was as if his brain couldn’t shut off, too many things running through his mind. “i have to balance the budget and finish those papers and be up by 5 so i’ll be able to get to the cafe at 7 and –”

the thoughts just kept coming, poking and prodding at his consciousness in order to keep him from slipping into a blissful sleep. the 22-year-old rubbed at his eyes and yawned, turning on his side to fumble around in the dark for his phone. he was greeted by the blinding brightness of the screen, which he dimmed quickly as he squinted at the device in his hand.

it took a minute of scrolling through his ‘sleep’ playlist, eyes catching on anything from classic titles like ‘the nutcracker’ by pyotr tchaikovsky, and songs from disney movies. in the end, he decided to shuffle it, listening as the beginning of ‘part of your world’ from ‘the little mermaid’ began to pour from his speaker. then, it was a mission of turning to his other side in order to dig out a book from the pile on his other nightstand, before the lamp was finally flicked on, his glasses were settled on his nose, and he was leaned up against the headboard, hoping to find sleep in the pages of the book.

–

3:28 a.m, 5.28.???? , location: mark’s apartment

the unnamed male opened up doors as quietly as he could, peering inside the rooms to see if the target was in any of them. he passed by a storage closet, a bathroom, and a small guest room before finally spotting the soft light that spilled out underneath one of the doors. “of course it would be the last place i check.” he grumbled, heaving a sigh as he padded towards the door as quietly as possible. there was a small click as he loaded a tranquilizer dart into his gun, before pushing the door open with one hand, the other holding the gun with his finger just above the trigger, ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. he had expected the target to be asleep when the door opened, but instead, his eyes met with a panicked pair of brown eyes. “oh, shit.” he swore under his breath, aiming carefully before pressing on the trigger and watching the dart fly through the air as if in slow motion.

the target - mark - let out a small whine when the dart pierced his skin, and he seemed to get sluggish quickly as the two of them made eye contact once more, the unnamed male waiting for the drug to seep into his bloodstream. he was by mark’s side when his grip relaxed, the book falling to the floor and mark almost following it. he, as gently as possible (come on, he’s not a complete monster), slung the unconscious boy over his shoulder and made his way back downstairs and to the kitchen, humming a tune under his breath.

as he turned into the kitchen, the first thing he saw was ‘jun’ sitting in the corner, seeming to have lost control of the chaos. ‘zhong’ was seated on one of the countertops, ‘park’ slipped in between his legs as they had a quiet conversation, eyes darting around occasionally as they talked. ‘jen’ and ‘nana’ were watching the kitten walk around on the island, cooing every time it meowed, even when ‘jen’ had to stop and sneeze. with his free hand, the unknown figure raised his fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly to catch their attention. “it’s time to go back to base, target acquired.”

the rest of the group gaped at him, their shock seeping out as they shot rapidfire questions at him. their voices melded together, into ‘what’s’ and ‘what about our target?’ and ‘i thought we had a mission?’. their leader nodded in response, gesturing to the figure slung over his shoulder. “the job’s already done, target acquired as i said.” he repeated smugly, tucking the dart gun back into the waistband of his pants as he spoke. there was more clamoring and questions, but the one thing that stood out to the leader was the “aw, i wanted to shoot him!” accompanied with a pout, that came from ‘park’.

they all glanced at the youngest member, and he just shrugged nonchalantly. “what? i’ve never gotten to use it on a mission before.”

“that’s because you’re the baby!” ‘zhong’ cooed as he pinched the youngest’s cheeks, laughing all the while.

their leader gestured for them to follow him out of the room, the noise of ‘park’s retaliation following them. “yah, i’m only two months younger than you, hyung!” ‘zhong’ just laughed in response, curling up against his taller boyfriend as they walked. despite his pout and clear disdain for being called the baby, ‘park’ wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled the elder closer.

however, after laying mark in the back of their van and leaving the two maknaes to watch over him, they realized that their leader was not taking them to their main base. “we’re going to the investigation station!” ‘nana’ cheered, as their leader turned down a familiar road that started the journey to the abandoned warehouse that they used for questioning.

“you guys better not mess this up like last time.” their still unnamed leader spoke, barely glancing at them through the rearview mirror before his gaze was fixed back on the road, catching a glimpse of ‘zhong’ and ‘park’s faux innocent faces.

“but hyung,” the second youngest whined, “it wasn’t all our fault last time! how were we supposed to know that those cans of spray paint still had paint in them?” ‘park’ nodded along, backing up his words.

their leader arched his brow at that, sceptically looking at the two in the mirror once more. “oh so you guys just happened to spray paint on us and the target, but it’s not your fault at all, right?”

“he made us do it.” the maknaes pointed accusingly at ‘jen’ who looked offended, quickly sputtering out a reply in order to clear his name, but ‘nana’ cut in quickly with an accusing look focused on his boyfriend that quickly morphed to an innocent one as he threw ‘jen’ under the bus in order to lessen the impact it would have on the maknaes.

“but jen, i swear i overheard you saying something about a bet and –” a soft slap echoed in the van, the culprit being ‘jen’s hand landing over ‘nana’s mouth, muffling the words that the other still tried to form. the rest of the van’s occupants stared at him and ‘nana’ expectantly, but ‘jen’ just laughed nervously in response.

after whispering something inaudible into ‘nana’s ear, ‘jen’ turned to face the rest. “okay, so maybe i did something i shouldn’t have, but the past is the past, man! forgive and forget, you know?” he did his best to plead with the others. the only ones to give in were his boyfriends, one falling victim to his infamous puppy eyes and the other having been threatened into silence.

soon enough, the van was filled with complaints, ‘jen’, ‘zhong’, and ‘park’ arguing amongst themselves while ‘jun’ and ‘nana’ mediated. their leader just sighed in mild annoyance and moderate despair, sending up a quick prayer to whichever deity was willing to listen to him (he really wasn’t picky) to not give him strength, but to give him the patience it would take to endure the rest of the ride. if one of the deities gave him strength…bad things would happen, and somebody would likely end up hurt. more than likely one of the maknaes, but that was besides the point. he turned on the radio quietly, just loud enough that he could focus on it and not on the bickering in the back.

if he hadn’t, he might’ve combusted on the spot and who knows what would have happened to the rest – he knew for sure that it would end in jail time for murder on his part, if they didn’t stop arguing. that would be ironic, he thought, considering the fact that he was an assassin. his thoughts trailed off into other careers that he might possibly be able to take up, that would allow him to never see the annoying group in the back ever again.

he made a mental note to look when they went back to headquarters.

#nct fic #nct dream fic #markhyuck #chenji #norenmin #chensung #mark lee #lee donghyuck #zhong chenle #park jisung #lee jeno #huang renjun #na jaemin #nct dream #nct

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mariposalass · 4 years

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Deep Pain, Deep Sorrow

Summary: The day he died the first time has come, and Philip is having nightmares of reliving the events in his mind. It is not really great, not great at all.

Setting: Mari and co.’s house in Daly City, California, present day midnight; Weehawken Dueling Grounds in Weehawken, New Jersey and the Church family house in New York City, New York, November 20-24, 1801.

Notes: Written up in the last minute in commemoration of RL Philip Hamilton’s death by gun dueling on this day 218 years ago. There are Hamilton musical spoilers and mentions of death, guns, & blood loss along with slight mention of alcohol & hate speech against Alexander Hamilton: if you’re not comfortable with any of them, then skip this and finding something more cheerful instead. Although the ending doesn’t end on a sour note though… Also tagging @husband-of-lucoa since I’m basing this on a RP we had on Discord with Marina’s old life dilemma before as a main theme.

Tags: character death, mention of guns, salty language, mention of blood and blood loss, existential crisis, Defying Time, Renewed Potential, Hamilton: An American Musical, Hamilton spoilers, implied mention of alcohol, hate speech, George Eacker bashing (if this is a thing), real life history

It all started with a speech, a goddamn speech on the Fourth of July nonetheless. Bloody Eacker had all the nerves to bash his father like that: no respect to the man who had to work hard from a rough life of illegitimacy and having one parent died & another far away to help bringing a nation out of the shackles of Great Britain’s control, in front of a bunch of people wanting him dead literally or otherwise, poor Theo’s figuratively blind and ambitious father included. Surely, if that fool had known the man personally much longer, maybe it have been less abrasive, but no, he was a foolish twat. 4 months had passed since that slanderous speech and he & an old friend, Stephen Price, had confronted him, both younger men being under some alcohol for some reason, in the Park Theater about that rancid work of words. A verbal fight has borne out of this confrontation and the final straw came in the form of that bastard calling him and Stephen ‘rascals’, which had the young men to challenge him in a dueling match.

Back then, most men, even the smartest and most noble of the lot, wouldn’t simply settle things in a calm and logical manner; with pride on the line, they dealt arguments with small death machines, guns loaded with bullets that could spell death to the unfortunate person on the other side. Eacker would take on Price first a day after, then him on the next day. Four shoots were heard across in Weehawken, but no one died that day. The next day came, and it was him against the foolish twat; with some advice from his father, he had started it with a delope, throwing his first shoot, a move that would ultimately cost him life. Eacker had done the same, for a fool like him, it too was a smart move then.

A minute later, neither one dared to make a move, but then, Eacker aimed for him and shot him above the right hip and into the left arm; he did shot back, but the bullet was useless. The fired bullet from Eacker’s gun was lodged to his arm, spasms came in involuntarily. Everyone was wondering and panicking while Eacker was blindly soaking in this false victory, yet he knew that the victory that fool was enjoying is fleeting and was trying his best to remain calm and collected as Death is slowly arriving at his doorsteps and he was bleeding profusely. Soon, word was spread of the duel and he was then rushed to Aunt Angelica and Uncle John’s house in the city center; Angelica, while still shocked by her nephew’s misfortune, wrote that his attitude during this trying time was unbelievably remarkable for a 19 year old nearing Death.

Horrified by the news of what Eacker did to his firstborn son and rocked by anxiety & worry like every responsible caring parent would, Alexander rushed to Dr. Hosack’s home to ask for medical help, only to learn that the good doctor was already ahead of him at the Church residence by this time, staying with his family to recover before heading to his sister in law’s place. By the time he and Eliza reached him, he was paler than the moon itself, his face ashen from the near loss of blood, almost haggard in appearance.

The older Hamilton was in despair, sobbing and clutching Dr. Hosack by the hand & salted tears running down from his watery eyes, and the middle Schuyler sister, pregnant with her final child at 3 months, even more distraught than she would let on. Pulse was faint, but still heard by Alexander, and yet time was running out for his eldest son. They had stayed by his side all the night along, 14 hours and a confession of faith later however, Death has taken Philip Hamilton away from the world and from his family at 5 AM. Only 19 years old.

He had bolted up from his bed after so many flashes running across his mind, waking up screaming and causing his roommate Ahkmenrah to wake up from his slumber as well. His horrified screams could be heard all over the house, alarming everyone trying to get a good night’s rest. The former pharaoh was startled by the stressful look in his friend’s face and checked if he was okay. Philip honestly couldn’t hide how he was feeling, but didn’t explain it to him fully until everyone else went inside their shared bedroom.

Mari has never seen him this stressed out (beside crunch time on news article deadlines and getting confused over modern day things) in the 11 months they have been together, she had sat beside him and sheepishly held onto his hand as a calming measure. Kirby, saddened to see him in the state he was in, flew onto his bed and hugged him by the side of his torso.

“Hey, what’s happening to you, mate?” Harry questioned him, sensing that there must be something that left him this freaked out.

“Yeah, we want to know why,” Kairi chimed in.

“Come on, Philip, there is never a bad thing to admit it,” Mari gently reminded him, “We’re all ears for you.”

“Nightmares, those nightmares of that duel, agh!” he groaned in agony, “I never thought of reliving those awful memories of it all over again. I didn’t expect it to send my family on a downward slope after that. It was horrible to think about it in your sleep.”

“Well, you told us all about it many times for a long time now, still there is no need to hold back just because of some a-hole trying to peg down your dad like that and shoot you in return,” Mari sighed, not knowing what else to say in return and trying to fight back in tears from her eyes.

“Philip, please don’t feel bad about that. I know that it was very foolish of both you and that Eacker guy to try to shoot each other over a speech and just sort those issues out yourselves, but honestly, I didn’t think that it was all your fault,” Issa tried to reassure him, “Besides, he’s already dead and probably regretting that he shouldn’t harass your father with that speech in the first place.”

“Your father sounds like a very important man indeed, Philip,” Ahk pointed out, “You and your siblings must have looked up to him so much. He have done some messed up things in the past like that affair thing, yes, but never a horribly terrible person at all. I would have loved to ask him questions about how he helped out in freeing and growing this nation and independence with several like-minded men.”

“Poyo...” Kirby sniffed in sympathy as he cried.

“Look, Philip dear. The past is the past, we know that we couldn’t turn back the hands of time to stop it from happening, even the Doctor couldn’t stop it in a couple of cases whenever he goes time-traveling. But it doesn’t mean that you should never be defined by those events. You got this second chance in life and you can still enjoy life even more than ever, so you shouldn’t worry about everything the second time around,” Mari calmly reassured her dearest beloved before remembering something similar that had happened to some friends a year ago, “Funny enough, this whole situation you’re in is quite similar to Marina’s case: Dyl’s friends at the Fortress Team found her unconscious by the sea and couldn’t find anyone willing to pick her up and look after her until Dylan and Lucoa (and later Lady Palutena) stepped in and took her into their large family. Even she was struggling with recovering from her past mistakes for some time, but since you came back and befriended her, she doesn’t have to worry too much about them. She still gets nightmares once in a while, but beyond that, she is doing well.”

“Well, I suppose that I should follow her example then?” he meekly asked her and everyone else in the room.

“I don’t see a problem with that, Pip,” Issa smiled back in response, “She was the first person to reach out to you since you made that public reveal of your return, so she is likely to listen all about it.”

“Since you did in a way helped her recover from her past mistakes and get help from her folks, perhaps we can contact Dylan, Lucoa, and Lady Palutena by morning and see if she can drop by to help you out as well,” Harry added, “Or you can talk to me as well. I have been through a lot of trauma in my life as well, especially with the Killing Cruse, the Horcrux Hunt, the Battle of Hogwarts, and after I disown my canon realm for good. Seriously, if you have some nightmares again, just let us know: we’re all here for you and Mari is always there for you as much as you’re always there for her.

The kind support and reception he is receiving are too overwhelming yet welcoming as everyone gathered around him to give him a warm hug, Mari’s being the tightest of all. He never felt this much closer to home than with this unlikely group of people, animals, and what have you, but it is probably true in a way. It might tempting to ask Ahk to bring his folks back to the world of the living, but that would too much hassle and trouble to ask for. The whole 11 months felt like quite a wild ride for sure and yet it is the most fulfilling he has ever lived through, and he couldn’t ask for more than find his place among these strange modern day waters and have an amazing life with his new unlikely ‘family’ and his beloved darling.

The End

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jonwongton · 5 years

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KCON NY 2019 Recap

Wow I was actually in New York for four days and four nights. When I first saw the fromis_9 KCON NY announcement I knew there was no way I wasn't going to go. It looks like they made some great memories in NY/LA and I wanted a part of the fun too. Plus I wanted to avoid some of the regret I had last year in that I didn't go to KCON LA 2018. I already got super invested in them through June/July but I don't think I was emotionally ready/mature enough to go on a solo trip like this by myself.

Friday, July 5th

So to start out my trip, my flight to Newark was delayed for four hours. At least at the airport, I met the most beautiful family and got to play with their kids for a couple hours. The kids went boy girl boy where the youngest boy was causing trouble (literally me since I’m the third child), and the girl had no concept of stranger danger so she told me a wide assortment of TMIs about her family. The lady sitting next to me (Annie!) on the flight was also the sweetest soul imaginable, so we chatted for a couple hours before both watching Crazy Rich Asians (I admittedly cried at the ending).

I arrived after 9pm (no chance for early check-in or Klub KCON though I didn't want to dance with 16 year olds anyways), and I get anxious af when I'm in a foreign place without knowing exactly where I'm going, so I mass googled/kept asking for strangers for help to get to Manhattan. After I got settled into my hotel, Maya met me outside we went to Times Square! I'm so glad she came out and saw me that night because 1) I haven't seen her since summer of maybe 2016? so I missed her a ton 2) I literally had no idea how the NY subway worked before she told me 3) I wanted to go Times Square at night and 4) I wouldn't have wanted to go alone. We caught up on literally everything and I went to bed pretty late considering I wanted to check-in early to sell my A1 artist engagement pack.

and our “first date” pose because we were standing so damn far from each other:

Saturday, July 6th

I got up at 6am EDT (so 3am PDT aka rip), and rushed over to the Javits Convention Center to get in line. I brought like literally nothing because I was afraid you couldn't bring food in or they'd throw away my hydroflask. As it turns it, the staff didn't care at all, and there was hardly any line. After checking in, I got my A1 artist engagement pack ($150) which had an AB6IX high touch, a TXT audience pass, and an SF9 audience pass.

I almost panicked because I didn't know how popular AB6IX was, and if I had gotten ATEEZ/TXT I literally would have made at least a $100 net profit. I sat in line with some new people before I summoned enough courage to go into the artist engagement mob. Almost immediately, a girl ran up to me and asked me if I wanted to sell my hi-touch. I wanted to gauge the "market price" a bit more because I was still early af, but since I was still kinda panicking, I sold it to her for $100 and her SF9 audience pass. I looked around and that's when I figured out all the girls were trying to trade their hi-touches for the groups they wanted and all the guys were trying to buy their IZ ONE/(G)-IDLE hi-touches (the only two girl groups doing an artist engagement since Everglow couldn't attend and fromis_9 wasn't doing one). For the eight groups there, I'm pretty sure the market price went something alone the lines of

ATEEZ >>>>>>>> TXT = IZ ONE >> (G)-IDLE = The Boyz >>> SF9 = AB6IX >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> VeriVery

where the ">" shows the relative difference between each group. I thought TXT would be up with ATEEZ but I was clearly wrong. That's why I was pretty happy to get the AB6IX hi-touch off my hands. VeriVery hi-touches were being sold for $20 and people were throwing away their audience passes. I heard someone bought an ATEEZ hi-touch for $550 lmao.

I sold my AB6IX hi-touch, sat back in line with my new friends, and traded my TXT audience pass for an ATEEZ audience pass based on my sense of how popular each group was. I made another lap around the mob and a girl bought my ATEEZ audience pass almost instantly for $40. I made another lap maybe ten minutes later and sold one of my SF9 audience passes for $30 (I'm pretty sure I ripped her off on this one really hard but oh well). I couldn't find a buyer for my other SF9 audience pass so I decided to hold onto it until tomorrow since that's when their artist engagement would be. At this point, I was already +$20 in profit and I still had an audience pass leftover.

All the trading chaos settled at around 8:45am, but the convention didn't start until 11am. I just talked with some 16/17 year olds that were ridiculously into ATEEZ and other boy groups (surprisingly not NUEST or Seventeen).

I was one of the first into the convention and I made a full lap to scout around before picking something to do. The Toyota booth snatched me first and when I told them I was legit gonna get a 2020 Camry they were !!! and made me play their game. You had to search the Corolla for four QR codes, and take selfies with the filter that's prompted after scanning it in 90 seconds. The iPad they gave me glitched the fuck out so I only got three done. They gave me a "The Boyz Meet and Greet" pass which would allow me to go to the front of the line when they made a "surprise visit" at the Toyota booth. I was being a nice guy and told some The Boyz fan about it nearby, so the girl did it, succeeded, and won a fucking IZ ONE hi-touch >.> (people were selling that for $150 minimum...) so yes I'm salty as hell.

At the official merchandise line, if you bought more than $100 of stuff, they'd give you a special merchandise voucher. If you took that voucher to the KCON Star Square, played the game they had every hour and won, you'd get a chance to meet a "surprise artist". There were some official fromis_9 slogan towels for sale for $25, but I decided not to buy it right then and there in case they wanted one big purchase totaling $100. But my dumbass was wrong and the slogan towels sold out 30 minutes later and to this day I still don't have one (they're beautiful). I was also too slow to pre-order it when I bought my convention pass because they closed the presale.

I did some social media sellout booths, wrote some fromis_9 support on the "message to your idols" board, and realized there was nothing to do after that.

I just stood at the Toyota booth where they'd play an entire song and anyone that knew the dance would go up and do it (note they played the ENTIRE song and not just the chorus so for songs that weren't super popular, the stage was empty for a solid two minutes each time). I was only there for maybe 20 minutes, but they played Love Bomb and to my surprise, 4 Walls (which I haven't heard in ages).

I walked around aimlessly for another hour before I realized I hadn't eaten anything for the whole day. I got some really overpriced convention food and sat with some girls I met in line because I was pretty lonely at that point. They were from Chicago and were also there just for ATEEZ. We talked for a bit before they went to line up at MSG for the concert, so I walked around aimlessly for another 45 minutes before I went to one of the panels.

The panel was "The difference between American and KPOP" and Andreas Oberg (wrote Young and Free by Xiumin and Mark, one of my favorite station tracks) and David Amber (wrote Love Bomb, Heart Shaker, Yes or Yes, and Love Bug) were there! The third guy on the panel was pretty annoying, but I'm super interested in how these guys come up with these songs and they shed a ton of insight about it.

They talked about how most successful kpop songs now are actually a combination of multiple melodies put together, which supposedly make the song more interesting. For their particular styles, they try not to repeat the melody between choruses because that would bore the listener and try to have super catchy parts of the song or even the chorus start the track. Something else I found out which was super interesting is how they tailored certain songs for certain companies and groups. Andreas said SM gave him a ton of freedom, but when JYP asked for a song from David, he needed to make the verses long enough for each member to sing (aka Twice needs more lines since there are nine members) and add in rapping parts if the group had a rapper. They had a Q&A section at the end where two people kinda pissed me off since they went up to the mic and made shameless plugs saying how much they adored Andreas/David and were aspiring song writers like them. I actually summoned the courage myself and asked the panel a few questions:

Do you have a good sense of whether a song you wrote will become super popular?

How do you feel about songs that you are very proud of writing that don't become popular, maybe because it was given to a group that isn't that popular?

Do you think composers deserve more credit for making groups popular? The example I used is Blackpink is SUPER popular but their entire soud is almost exclusively produced by Teddy, which almost no one knows about.

I thought they gave me really insightful responses too:

A little bit, but once the song is produced, it's in the hands of the company to promote it with the artist and the choreography.

They're sometimes really sad about songs they create that don't make it big, and Andreas told me he was very fond of Young & Free

David said it's fine the way it is now. The example he used is with movies where the actors/actresses will get all the credit + make the movie famous, but a huge part of the production of the movie is because of the director, who rarely gets any attention.

I walked around aimlessly for another thirty minutes before standing at the KCON Dance Studio to watch the random play dance. I always saw the youtube videos of them so I wanted to see it in person myself. It turns out there was a cluster fuck of people there and we kept getting pushed back so far I couldn't see anything. Two guys in line next to me had Fun Factory albums and fromis_9 posters, so I decided to strike up a conversation with them. It turns out they were also huge flovers AND buddies, so we ditched the random play dance and talked for half an hour about our overall love for kpop. They were also New York locals, and they said they would take me under their wing for the rest of the weekend T_T. We met up with one of the guy's aunts and head to ktown since it was within walking distance, the convention closed at 6, and they wanted something to eat before the concert started at 8.

I took the 순두부 짬뽕 I ordered back to my hotel and ate it while watching the live stream since I only bought a Sunday ticket. On the way back, I also stopped by a store called Koryo Bookstore which sold kpop stuff. I couldn't find any GFriend/fromis_9 stuff I wanted, so I bought a Harry potter book in Korean to practice before going back. The concert livestream was okay, and it felt even shorter because IZ ONE got an extra stage, which I presume was supposed to fill in for Everglow. I lost my shit when NUEST performed Love Paint and Look though because those songs changed my life summer 2016 (they almost made me wish I went). I was still kinda disappointed in them because they had a ton of fans, but they gave off the vibe they only came to NY just to do the concert and leave. I tried sleeping early but as I crawled into bed, I got a fromis_9 vlive notification and I kinda had to watch it in case they spoiled the activities of tomorrow. I saw on twitter they actually arrived on SATURDAY and just toured New York, so obviously there was no way they could be at Saturday's convention. I spammed in chat if they'd have a pinky promise event for maybe 15 minutes but they never saw the comment. I didn't hear any spoilers so I just went to bed tired af since I got like no sleep in the past two days.

Sunday, July 7th

I woke up pretty late on Sunday and bought an expensive ass fancy bagel before getting to the convention center, though I could hardly eat it since I have literally zero appetite when I’m in a foreign place.

I bought the official fromis_9 jersey to match my two buddies just so everyone would know we were flovers at first sight. I also finally took out my Saerom sign and carried it around the convention center. We watched the Sunday opening ceremony and met up with a third guy (a Wiz One) while we waited for the fromis_9 fanclub meeting at 1:30.

I also found a lady willing to buy my SF9 audience pass for $15, which is ridiculous because I saw people giving it away for free at this point.

The fanclub meeting was really interesting. I instantly locked eyes with a girl that had a Saerom sign and we took a few pictures.

We played bingo with a lot of the squares consisting of fromis_9 memes, and two kahoot games where we had to guess which member it was (the pictures were ridiculous) and name the song after only hearing 1 second of it. At the very end, we did the Love Bomb and Fun! fanchants, but it was nearly impossible doing them without already knowing them if you could read romanized hanguel fast enough. I still screamed my heart out though (seriously).

There was nothing interesting left on the schedule, so we walked around before deciding to go to the (G)-IDLE fanclub meeting as well. I missed most of it because I met up with the girl that printed the banners, but there was a really entertaining random play dance at the end. On the way to get the banners, I met the girl that had the Saerom sign during the fromis_9 fan meeting, so we chatted a bit and exchanged numbers (she was here just for fromis_9 and she came from SWEDEN, so I thought we could bond over that). We closed out the day by going to the "2019 Year of Girl Groups" panel.

The panel was really boring, one of the members kept swearing, and they just talked about which girl groups they thought were the most influential in the kpop scene. Personally, I thought the SNSD/f(x) answers were meaningful since Gee shook the world and f(x)'s weird sound + Amber broke down a lot of stereotypes at the time, but some of the Twice answers in the group were a huge stretch. Two fans kept talking about how much Twice meant to them and while that's great and all, I think the rest of the audience felt the same way as I did. At the end, they forgot to give away their prizes, so they basically asked us to walk up and convince the audience why we should get the prize. I walked up and told them I was disappointed I came all the way from California just to see fromis_9 but still didn’t get the chance to. That won me this:

It was like 5:30pm after the panel ended, so we (five of us total) went to ktown to get chicken and hype ourselves up for the concert. They were playing Chung Ha and so many other not as popular girl groups (Weki Meki, Gugudan, Cherry Bullet) that we ended up talking about that for the entire time.

We all split up after we got to Madison Square Garden (I had P1, the group of three had P2, one guy had P3) and had maybe five minutes before the concert started because we showed up so late.

We were all super sad that they started with fromis_9 instead of one of the other boy groups, but I fanchanted and danced my heart out during all the songs.

The people in my section were huge mood killers though. I was sitting in the Chase preferred section, so I feel like the people in that section either a) had their parents use their credit card to buy their tickets or b) got the tickets handed out at some event and weren't even invested in kpop. The two girls to my life were there for seventeen and got on their feet at the end, but the two girls to the right of me sat down and were on their phones for the whole concert.

I got so lucky during the concert. VeriVery covered 24K magic, AB6IX covered Attention, and SF9 covered Love Shot, all songs which I know and love. And a word about Seventeen's stage. I was clearly at KCON for fromis_9, but I also LOVE Seventeen. I didn't pay much attention to their most recent comeback home though since it was a much slower song. However, EVERY SEVENTEEN SONG THEY PERFORMED I ACTUALLY KNEW. They started with 숨이차 which I knew but was indifferent to, but then we got Good To Me, Adore U, AND 아주 Nice. The stadium was freaking shaking during 아주 Nice and when they came back for the surprise encore I think the entire crowd and I died.

I met up with my friends after outside the venue, but three of them had to leave because they had work the next day (locals). I was ready to go back to my hotel content with the concert but disappointed overall, but Sweden girl texted me and told me to meet up with all the other flovers we were with. I met the moderators of the fan club meeting and like ten people that were huge fans and traveled as far as I did here for fromis_9. None of us were tired so we went to ktown to hang out. We talked for two hours over girl groups, fromis_9, guessing each other's biases, and learning our own backstories + age. Like where were these people during the actual convention. Apparently they all knew each other, but because I don't have a twitter, instagram, or am on discord, I was the reason I couldn't be found. I invited Sweden girl to do touristy crap with me on Monday/Tuesday because our flights on Tuesday were at like the same time, but one of the guys there tipped us off for the fromis_9 flash mob happening tomorrow at Washington Square Park at 2:30pm. I personally didn't give a shit about touristy stuff and I only felt obligated to do it because I was in New York, but I clearly only came this far for kpop. We decided to meet up for lunch at like 11am and we all went our separate ways.

Monday, July 8th

We all met up at Chipotle and sat around talking about more kpop stuff.

It was raining surprisingly hard in the morning, so we were all praying the event didn't get canceled. We walked over to Washington Square Park at 1pm and camped out there full of anxiety. I’ll type up what happened at the flash mob in a different post, but in summary, it was the best day of our lives. A ton of flovers had flights to catch, so Sweden girl and got milk tea and just held our hands crying over the event we saw. We rewatched the videos like 15 times (not kidding), took the subway to the Statue of Liberty, took the subway BACK to Washington Square Park because we missed some closure pictures, and then went to Central Park to take more pictures, all while lugging around my silly Saerom sign.

Our heads were in the clouds the entire day so we just sat on a rock and watched the sunset. She met up with a friend from Michigan while I got Halal guys and went back to my hotel room super emotional over the days events.

My dumbass put too much of the red sauce in it which was spicy as HELL so I couldn’t even eat much of it.

Tuesday, July 9th

I woke up late because I wanted to stretch out the best day of my life (yesterday) for as long as possible, and Sweden girl convinced me to go to the airport to say bye to fromis_9 before our flight. I was late as hell, but I booked my ass over to JFK and got to see (G)-IDLE and IZ ONE at the airport (I have videos, not pictures). At the end of the day, fromis_9 wasn't even leaving New York that day so apparently the twitter source was wrong. I wasn't too disappointed though given Monday's events, so I said my good-byes to my partner-in-crime from the weekend and booked my ass to Newark (I was almost late for my flight because New York rush hour, will never underestimate again).

---

All in all, I give KCON a solid 3/10, but my overall trip was a 12.4/10 because of what happened at Washington Square Park. KCON has much better, ethical ways to suck the money dry out of the fans that are willing to pay. They announce the artist engagement schedule AFTER selling the packs, which baited so many Nuest and Seventeen fans. The layout of the convention was absolutely fucking awful too. They put the Toyota booth dance stage, the KCON stage, the cover stage, and the KCON dance stage fairly close to each other so the music was playing over each other, and the other half of the room had empty booths full of cosmetic products and studying in Korea which has an appeal to like 10% of the people there. They also checked our wristbands when moving between rooms in the convention center, which makes no sense since we needed our wristband to enter the Javits Convention Center period. And in general, there was nothing to do "long term" so so many people were walking around bored like me. The lines for the stuff that could actually be done were ridiculously long (maybe 25-30 minute waits for the free food but that's long enough to miss an entire panel/engagement). The cherry on the cake is they announced the KCON LA lineup today without any teasers (no consistency?) and almost every single artist that went to KCON NY is going to KCON LA. I personally trust KCON LA a bit more to not fuck up everything as bad as KCON NY, but it still feels pretty unethical considering how many of us flew ridiculous distances to NY just for the same line up.

I'm not the biggest fan of New York either. The city is super crowded, smells awful, and I don't feel safe on the streets at all (and I'm a guy). One redeeming quality is that the people that I met were unbelievably nice. I probably asked for directions eight times and every time, I got the most helpful/friendly response. An old white man even saw how I confused I looked an approached me asking exactly how he could help me get to where I wanted to go.

At least now, I think I have the confidence to plan my own solo trip to a faraway place. This was a fun one.

I hope we answered your promise Saerom!

#kcon

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rylie-barton · 5 years

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⌜ CIS FEMALE, SHE / HER | the hearse by matt maeson, gryffindor, infp ⌟ ⏤ meet RYLIE NATALIA BARTON ; a TWENTY TWO year old who kind of resembles WILLA HOLLAND, don’t you think? she originally hailed from NEW YORK CITY where she lived with her parents, CLINT BARTON & NATASHA ROMANOFF ( MARVEL ), but word is that she’s been making strides to rejoin shield and finish her law degree this past year. she’s always been pretty AUDACIOUS & COMPASSIONATE, but has gotten way more CODEPENDENT & PRIDEFUL since she woke up. maybe her ability of WEAPON PROFICIENCY and power of INNATE COMBAT can help in taking down the dome. you can check out her stat page HERE& her pinterest board HERE.

i was a woman who thought only of dead things ( all the time ). i couldn’t HELP it.

part one of two : the backstory. ( trigger warnings for talk of death, drug / alcohol abuse.

born on july 21st, 1996, to clint barton & barbara morse. the youngest of three children, lewis and callum were five and nine respectively at the time of her birth.

her mother and brothers died in a house fire when she was just three months old ; the files concerning the accident are blacked out and encrypted, and the story given to rylie amounts to ‘your mother went missing in action.’

understandably, she’s always wanted to know more ; unfortunately, she’s never had the means in which to find anything out.

raised by clint. really loved, but vaguely overprotected. ‘aunt nat’ was in her life from minute one, essentially, a shoulder for clint to lean on and a motherly presence that rylie found she craved. in time, they got married. it never felt anything but natural.

she was raised alongside the rest of the next gen ; troy banner, dan rogers, calder thorson & phoebe stark. they were and remain the closest thing to siblings that rylie has ever had, and as the youngest, she got to annoy them endlessly and still be assured that whatever may have happened down the line, they would always have her back.

as a little girl, rylie’s dreams amounted to little more than being the prima balllerina of her company. if she couldn’t be that, she would have settled for being an award winning pianist. she was a remarkably ordinary little girl, the only thing completely out of the norm about her being the fact that her father had her trained from the time she could walk to use a weapon, and her stepmother had her taught well how to fight.

her time in school was... tough, to put it mildly. she was homeschooled at certain points, and moved around a lot for others. kids could be cruel, and rylie’s self esteem was never destined to be that good.

rylie’s lift changing can be pinpointed as the moment that shield enlisted her, along with the rest of the next gen. she was just a LITTLE KID - playing dress up in between recitals, saving the world before she’d ever really even lived in it. they were kids trained for war. how could any of them have ever been well adjusted?

she dropped out of ballet. she stopped attending her piano lessons. the only thing that mattered was working with her team. how stupid she feels, now, to have been so caught up in trying to be an adult that she forgot to have a childhood.

her friends meant EVERYTHING to her.

she started attending the same school as phoebe because the other girl made a strong case to clint for rylie, so she wouldn’t have to go through another year of torment. she didn’t just LOVE her. she wanted to be her. to compare to the beautiful and intelligent and utterly flawless phoebe stark was something that she always knew would be impossible, but tried to do, anyway.

troy was her BIG BROTHER. he still is. when she was scared of storms, he would stay awake and hold her through the night to help her through. they teased one another mercilessly, but at the end of the day, they always knew just how much they loved one another - it was all in good spirit, and at points, it was what both of them needed.

daniel, the voice of reason - not just for rylie, but for everyone. she always looked up to him, both as a leader and as a friend. he made good calls. he tried to do right by everyone. it wasn’t easy to do - and looking back, rylie hates how it all rested on his shoulders when he was just a KID - but he did it anyway.

and calder...- she’s always loved him, even when it was difficult. back then, it wasn’t. he was always a stoic, but how much he loved them all was evident. he was her training partner and best friend, always present, even when he didn’t know what to say, or do.

the five of them were like some kind of mismatched breakfast club, but no one in the world understood what it was like to grow up with heroes for parents as well as they did.

and then PHOEBE died. rylie was sixteen years old. the rest of them weren’t much older. loki attacked avengers tower while their parents were away on a mission, and she tried to protect calder ; it wasn’t anybody’s fault except loki’s that she fell that day, but they all shouldered the guilt regardless. rylie never was the same.

in the months after, rylie tried to numb the pain, the responsibility. she couldn’t sleep, so she took pills that were meant to help. when they didn’t, she took more. the subsequent overdose was swept under the carpet, the choice to send her to wda alongside the rest of the guys their way of trying to bring some life back to her, after. it was phoebe’s dream they were living, after all. maybe being there with them would help.

believe it or not : it DIDN’T. walt disney academy was living under the threat of the darkness at the time, and rylie was one of many students who fell victim. while on a mission with shield in late 2014, she was shot ; it was a horrible event that weakened rylie more than just in her resolve, and months later, the darkness took hold. under its influence, she hurt people that she didn’t know, and she hurt one’s that she did, too. her freedom was temporary, she and many other students were taken over once more, and troy saved the day by drawing out the good ; but enough had been enough.

rylie turned to alcohol. the rest was history. she drank to sleep. she drank to get herself through the day. she drank when she was happy, when she was achingly sad, when she was just trying to feel something. she would go on weekend benders that bled into the weeknights when the littlest inconvenience happened, and drunk, she made some truly horrible decisions with some truly terrible people. she kept hurting the people she loved. she kept ruining her relationships. it became a cycle, wash and repeat.

whatever she might have had with emmett wicks, a rock she leant on during the early darkness saga, was gone as quick as it came. rylie got too involved too quick with alexander kaligaris, with disastrous results. we know how unhealthy that particular relationship turned out.

shield suspended her from active duty in early 2017. she was over the legal limit to drive and still thought she could go on a mission for them, and she could have gotten her whole team killed. she didn’t, but it didn’t matter. they were right to do what they did, but rylie took it personally ; she lashed out. she made bad choices. she had lost the ONLY thing she really had left. her father wanted to pull her from school to try and help, and she point blank refused. it caused a rift between them, for understandable reasons. without her dad, without her family, without many of her friends - rylie just got worse.

in the summer of ‘17, the school suffered from an earthquake during prom. rylie took a hard fall, and the resulting head trauma damaged her eardrum. it wasn’t her father coming back to support her during the subsequent operation to try and fix it that gave rylie a wake up call. it was her pregnancy, discovered a few weeks later ; rylie always loved, and alex always left. one mistake from the two of them caused a bigger one that spooked her. rylie made the choice to have an abortion. she took control of her own life, for once, instead of allowing it spin even more out of control - and she started attending alcoholics anonymous, almost immediately after.

part two of two : what u missed on glee.

rylie has been sober for 21 months and counting. it’s as hard for me to believe it as it is for you all, i’m sure ; but she’s been doing BETTER. she’s been back training, brushing up on some old skills that she let get rusty. she’s healthy, too, the sallow look to her skin that everyone got accustomed to long gone. to say it was easy for her, or that she didn’t have moments of doubts, would be... totally incorrect. she’s just been fighting through.

she was one more bad month away from flunking out of her law degree, the last time y’all saw her ; but she’s picked up in the past year, really knuckling down to try and catch up, for one, and do better, for another. she’s still worried that she’s going to have to do an extra year, to finish, but she’s dedicated to doing so if she’s GOTTA.

her relationship with her father? fixed. clint has always put rylie above all else, and never would have even required the apologies she gave, really. likewise with the relationship she has with natasha. both of them forgive her for her weakness, though it’s unlikely that rylie ever will. we love on ( 1 ) girl with a guilt complex.

the one thing that ISN’T fixed is her hearing, at least not 100%. she has a loss of fifty nine db in her right ear, and that’s probably never going to change. it makes her and her father even more alike, though i’m sure clint would have rathered the similarities not be so much.

as of right now, she’s prepping for a hearing with the board of directors at shield on whether she should be reinstated as an active agent. she’s passed all of the physicals, and she’s been in therapy for about as long as she’s been sober, working through her issues. she’s still got miles to go, but they’re certainly optimistic. rylie moved past feeling hard done by a long time ago, and now she just... wants to be a part of the agency, again, in a way where she can actually be of help.

#wda: intro #do u know how hard it is to abridge rylie's life #it's so unfortunate #about rylie

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what-if-rpg · 5 years

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Welcome to the family, NATALIE! Your application to BLAINE ANDERSON was accepted. I am really happy to have you around! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! I can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Blaine Devon Anderson CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 25 & August 13th OCCUPATION: Broadway actor / writer. Song writer FACE CLAIM: Blaine Anderson HOMETOWN & CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Westerville, OH & New York City SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Homosexual & Male RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Divorced POSITIVE TRAITS: Idealistic, Protective, Passionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: Insecure, Defensive, Needy CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: “ I’ll swallow my pride, I only want to belong I’m trying my best to toughen up for these days” ANYTHING ELSE?: Any changes will be found below. SECONDARY CHARACTER CHOICE: Harmony Pearce

HEADCANONS

Blaine Devon Anderson was born into what many believed was a loving family. His mother Pam Anderson was a kind and seemingly fearless young woman: despite what her parents and family wanted, she left her first husband– a wild drunk who did not care a bit about her or their two-year-old child at the time. His father Thomas Anderson was a wealthy man who took in Pam and her young son Cooper without any issues, despite what those around him said. It was as if the two only cared about one another. It seemed that way for a long time. So, what changed? One could say that it was Thomas’ sudden promotion at his lucrative job, or having his own son and wanting him to be better than those around him. There was a side to Thomas that believed in being nothing less than great. This was a trait that he did not know would plague his young son.

Blaine is talented, there’s no doubt about it. Many who see him perform on stage just stare in awe. His flair for the theatrics however caused for concern with his family. While his parents pushed for him to continue being creative and perform, his grandparents and other family members pursued their lips and whispered about how Blaine was “not right”. At first, he didn’t understand. How was it that he was “not right” or looked at so differently than his brother. Cooper was dramatic, loved to act, dance, and sing. What was the difference? Well, it seemed to be quite simple to everyone else. Blaine was gay, even as a child, his family noticed. His father, not wanting his son to deal with the trauma the world would have thrown at him if that was true, demanded for Blaine to act manlier and just stopped showing as much support as he used to. At first, this pained the young boy, but he soon got used to it and even began to realize what others were so worried about. Yes, he was gay, and no, it wasn’t because he loved theatre or anything silly like that, but because he was born that way. Despite Blaine understanding this and slowly accepting that part of his identity, he hid it away from his family for a very long time. When he finally did come out to his parents, they didn’t seem as upset as he thought they would, in fact, even his father was accepting– though he didn’t seem too thrilled, but at the time, Blaine didn’t understand why. Nonetheless, he decided that since he was out, he would attend a school dance with another openly gay student from his school. It was fun and Blaine finally felt free! It was the best night of his life from that point and he didn’t want it to end. Alas it did and Blaine sat outside the front steps of his school with his dancing partner. They were flushed, sweaty, their hearts finally not pounding from the excitement of the dance. They waited blissfully for Blaine’s father to pick them up. The happiness and innocence soon drained away as three classmates approached them, circling around them. At the time, Blaine didn’t know how to defend himself, and neither did his friend. They tried, but to no avail. The two boys were left hospitalized, one worse than the other. His friend was left in a coma and Blaine ran away from his old school, never turning back.

Dalton Academy was worlds away from Blaine’s old high school. He didn’t have to worry about homophobes, and he actually fit in. Still, Blaine looked over his shoulder, memories of the attack sparking every so often. An upperclassman noticed and took Blaine under his wing. He helped Blaine by teaching him self defense and how to fight. That wasn’t enough for the young Anderson, however, he needed to see that he could actually win if someone were to try to attack him again. The idea really came after one training session. The night he returned from the session he was flipping through the channels, mindlessly watching TV. He only stopped once a particular movie flashed onto the screen. Fight Club. The idea just popped into his head and there was no taking it away. Blaine soon became the leader of the Dalton Academy Fight Club. With that and soon joining the Warblers, the confidence that Blaine never had before just flew inside of him. He was soon able to help people that he probably would not have been able to before. One person he helped was Kurt Hummel, a lost student who changed Blaine’s life forever.

Blaine’s life was a roller coaster after he met Kurt. The two started dating and Blaine even transferred to McKinley to make Kurt’s senior year the best it can be. Once Kurt graduated and Blaine talked to him about moving to New York, things began to get rocky. The attention was no longer there, it was hard to get into contact with his boyfriend. He was left behind. Thinking that there was no more Kurt and Blaine, the sullen Blaine turned to a mystery boy, hooking up with him. He instantly regretted it, in fact, he flew to New York to tell Kurt what he had done. The two ended up breaking up, leaving Blaine with guilt and depression. Still, he fought for another chance and even proposed once things appeared to be better between them. Of course, it wasn’t that simple. They were moving fast, faster than Kurt’s liking at least. The two broke up once again, leaving Blaine in shambles. He left to ohio again, his tail between his legs and in a dark place again. After dating another and a strange event in an elevator, Blaine and Kurt got back together, getting married right after. At first, things actually seemed to be going fine, far better than when they were dating. They even had a child– with the help of Rachel and Quinn. Blaine was happy.

All good things come to an end. The time together was no longer there. Work and other things seemed to get in the way. Blaine was left on the side lines. He felt lost, confused, angry. When the separation happened, it was as though Blaine’s whole world came falling down, all the color in the world just faded. Of course, he still has to keep a smile for his daughter. It’s been hard for Blaine being alone again. he’s trying to pick himself up again, and hopefully he will.

CONNECTIONS

THOMAS & PAM ANDERSON: Thomas and Pam are Blaine’s parents. While Blaine has a great relationship with his mother, things can be better with his father. The two don’t hate each other, but there are unspoken issues that fester. COOPER ANDERSON (brother): Truly, Blaine’s half brother, but they don’t see it that way. They’re not as close as Blaine would like, but they do talk every now and then. KURT HUMMEL (EX-Husband): Kurt and Blaine separated around October 2018 due to irreconcilable differences. At least that is what it is officially. Kurt was getting too busy and never had time for Blaine anymore, however, there is still love between them through the things they experienced together. They are in the process of sorting out their divorce along with joint custody of their daughter - Serena. She will be two as of July 2019. Kurt hopes they can still be friends for the sake of their daughter, and while Blaine wants to do the same, there is still animosity between them, at least, on Blaine’s side. SERENA HUMMEL-ANDERSON (Daughter): Blaine’s pride and joy, the main reason he didn’t just stay locked in his new apartment once he tried to move on with his life. SAM EVANS (EX-Crush & Best Friend): Sam and Blaine become friends when they are persuaded to run for Senior Class President together. Following that, Sam helps Blaine deal with the latter’s failing relationship with Kurt. It is thanks to Sam that Blaine manages to overcome his guilt regarding Kurt back when they were younger and Blaine cheated on Kurt. And that was what made Blaine fall Sam. He fell for how nice and funny Sam was, so different from Kurt, exactly what he needed at that time. But, Sam was not into him, and they decided to stay just friends. Now, they continue best friends, and always helping one another, no matter what, they are in this together. TINA COHEN-CHANG (Best Friend): Their friendship started almost as he joined Glee Club, but only when the Seniors left that the two of them got closer. They even joined the Cheerios together! But, as Tina started to fall for him, Blaine tried to make her see that there was nothing more than a good friendship between them. Yes, it took them both time until they were close again, but, now, they are good friends. SEBASTIAN SMYTHE (Frenemy): Blaine heard about Sebastian only a couple months after he left Dalton Academy. He was so sure that Dalton wouldn’t be able to find someone as talented as him that when he heard that a guy called Sebastian had transferred and taken his place of Captain, he couldn’t believe it. He needed to meet him! And the truth was that once they met, there was a lot of chemistry, and if it was not for Kurt, maybe they had been more than friends. But, all the chemistry went away when they started to ‘hate’ each other, and have a very complicated friendship that even ended with Blaine in the hospital. Only a few time later they were able to make up, and now, yes, Blaine still has a hard time trusting and believing in Sebastian, but they are friendly. RACHEL BERRY (Best Friend): Rachel was the only person that made Blaine question his sexuality. Maybe it was all the chemistry they had or all the songs they used to sing together, but she was the only one that ever made him think, okay, maybe I am not gay. They even went on a date, they even shared a kiss, but, after that, he was sure that he was 100% gay. Now, they work together on Broadway, but are still waiting for the moment they are able to share the stage, so far, they share the stage on private parties where they continue singing and dancing together. While they used to be close, Blaine closed himself off after the separation from Kurt.

#Blaine Anderson #Accepted #Glee RP #Glee RPG #RP #RPG

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jtin97 · 5 years

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Love Sucks

First of all I’d like to make it very clear this post has nothing to do with firing shots and trash talking the girl whom I loved for such a long time. This is my story about heartbreak, betrayal, mental health and how I dealt with it because not enough people and especially men do this. It has taken me 365 days to bring myself to do this and if it can help just one person in a similar position to how I was, then for me it will be worthwhile.

It all started when we were 15 (September 2012) , in school, we were best friends. Spoke every single day and only when friends mocked us for flirting and saying how good we were together, we both thought – maybe. I asked you over on a weekend, spontaneously. We watched Tarzan on video. We had an unbelievable time and romantically, it just worked. I asked you out, you said yes and we were young and so, so happy with each other for the next 5 and a half years - it was just pure love. You were the kindest and most reliable person in the world, we could share absolutely anything together. We did things together I could only dream of at the age we were and I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world; 2 proms, multiple holidays, so many adventures and loads in between. We did everything together. Virtually all my memories from the age of 15-21 you were there with me. We were both on the same page with life and got on with each others families so well and that’s all you really want.

Fast-forward to September 2017, we had our 5 year anniversary. I surprised you with a weekend in Paris, I booked a top floor room right next to the Eiffel Tower, absolutely breath-taking and we shared it together. We had a ball wandering around the streets of Paris, going to these small café’s for food as well as getting ice cream and crepes throughout the weekend. It was mini breaks like this that I was looking forward to doing much more of in the years to come.

A couple of months afterwards, something changed with me. To this day I really do not know what instigated it because at the time everything in my life was just perfect; but I was depressed. I start work at 5 in the morning and would often go several days a week without a wink of sleep; for months I was constantly drained and I couldn’t always give you the 100% attention I was so consistent on in the previous years and for that I’m sorry but I tried my best, I honestly did. It’s an indescribable feeling, some days I felt okay and others I just wanted the ground to swallow me up and never come back; I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But even though feeling like this for months I never really spoke to anyone about it, I thought it would just be a phase that would pass but it just wouldn’t go. I remember coming home from work once and started balling my eyes out to my mum and just telling her everything I was struggling with and then telling my best mate how I felt. My only regret is not speaking out to family and friends. I always perceive myself as a macho, strongminded person who keeps things to themselves if there’s a problem but with this – I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t until after telling my mum and best mate in February/March time I slowly began to get back to being myself and being happy again but it was a torrid few months mentally.

The purpose of this was to put into perspective how quickly everything could change and no matter how bad you feel, it gets better. On May 17th 2018, I received an anonymous message on social media saying that my girlfriend is cheating on me, telling me who it was with, how she was doing it and how long it had been going on for. I was shaking, a mess and thinking surely not, she wouldn’t do that. I was at work at the time and showed my best mate and he just said ‘she wouldn’t do that, no chance’. I didn’t reply, I just told my girlfriend I was seeing her after she finished work. I turned up at 11:30pm, shown her the message and she promised me that she would never do that to me – apparently she’s not that type of person, I believed her – at that time I would’ve trusted her with my life. You’re with someone for 6 years, you have to trust them and I know for sure that she’s never lied to me about something so serious before. I was always still cautious, but I’m too much of a nice person so just let it go. When in reality, why would someone randomly message me something like that with such specific details, alarm bells should’ve been ringing for me.

On Monday 11th June, I found out my wonderful sister had two cancerous tumours in her neck, something you never want to hear in your lifetime. I told close friends and my girlfriend who were very caring of the situation. The next day, my girlfriend broke up with me; completely out of the blue. She said there was just nothing there anymore and things just weren’t the same. I still loved her with all my heart and try to fight my cause but I couldn’t force her to stay with me if she just didn’t love me anymore. I thought that was that. The whole of the Wednesday, I was crying for about 12 hours straight, an absolute mess. My 3 best friends picked me up and convinced me to go to a local quiz (which we came last in) to help me take my mind off everything and it honestly did me the world of good (thanks lad if you’re reading). I got home and my phone went off. She text me asking for me to go over, which I instantly did. She said sorry and that she loved me, wanted to be with me etc… But after that nothing was ever the same.

On the following Friday, I went on holiday with my 3 best friends, all in relationships so not a typical ‘lads holiday’, just a week in the sun with some beers. Due to the week I had, I was so close to not going but I really needed to try and clear my head and get away from everything. I had a great week with them and it was exactly what I needed at the time – relaxing and watching the World Cup. They were the only people who had an idea of what I was going through at the time and gave me all the space, time and support I needed to keep me going through a very confusing time where I had a lot to take in.

I got back from my holiday and I could start to notice things were really not the same. Suddenly she started distancing herself from me and became really secretive about her phone and would not let me even touch it. I would never go through her phone behind her back in the 6 years we were together. It was her privacy which I respected and trusted her but for 6 years she was never like this so I had a hunch that something wasn’t right and having my suspicions I needed clarity there was nothing going on which I never really got.

On July 18th 2018, one of my friends had a house party, everyone took their girlfriends and it was so great. Me and my girlfriend were having so much fun – dancing, drinking and joking with each other, just like old times. As standard, she had too much to drink, I ended up looking after her and after it all I misplaced my phone. I borrowed hers to use the torch to try and find it. I seized the opportunity of having her phone and looked at her messages with the person who she was supposedly cheating on me with. I saw that she was. I wasn’t on her phone for long but I can still recite almost every word I saw in the minute I was on there. I saw was that she was messaging him that night saying how much she loves him and how she wants to be with him instead of being at this party with me. I was devastated, heartbroken and had never felt so worthless. I went up to her and calmly said that its time to go home. I walked her home to sleep in my bed, hand in hand as she was incapable of walking herself (took an hour by the way!!) and confronted her because I then knew the truth and inevitably she told me everything. She was cheating on me for months and I was dumb enough to be completely oblivious to everything. That night I led on my side facing the wall crying my eyes out whilst she was fast asleep.

Stupidly, I tried working things out with her which now I regret even attempting. She never really said sorry about what she did and said that she would stop talking to him but in reality it was a work colleague so that was never going to happen. We met up a couple of times, we would cry together because we both knew it was the end. I would cry to her telling her I would never get anyone better. Although, in reality I will. A year on, I haven’t put myself out there on the dating scene as I find it incredibly difficult to trust someone and this experience has severely scarred me.

The last time we met up was August 21st 2018 and after that rarely did we make contact. It was the first time in 6 years I hadn’t woke up saying good morning or saying goodnight to her and I really struggled with the feeling of that. The following week was the hardest week for me, my best mate went on holiday and I spent the whole week reflecting and crying over everything that had happened in the previous months. I didn’t speak to anyone or do anything, I contemplated life so many times, I just couldn’t deal with how I felt. The feeling is just inexplainable but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her win.

After this I felt so low again but constantly upset at the thought of betrayal, not depressed. It took me about 7 months just to get my head round the situation and get over it completely. But once I got over it I’ve been living my best life. In the last 4 months I have:

ü Lost 3 stone by going to the gym regularly

ü Been to two concerts

ü Had a weekend in Prague with my best mate

ü Went to a festival

ü Went on a holiday with 6 friends

ü Booked a holiday to New York

It was not until a couple of months after we broke up that I actually told people what happened. I didn’t tell my best friends, my parents – no one. The best thing to do was to tell someone and when I did it was the biggest weight off my shoulders. I always have and always will be a quiet person and keep myself to myself. But telling people was THE BIGGEST RELIEF in the world. Everyone I told was so supporting and where I thought everything was my fault, they made me realise that I was a great boyfriend to her and someone in the future would be lucky to have me, I did so much for her.

Although I’ve been slating her for most of this I was in no means a perfect boyfriend. For sure there are things I would have done differently, especially in the months prior where I was feeling low – I needed you to step up. I was always so kind to you. When I went on a night out and a girl ever came to talk to me, the first thing I would say is that I have a girlfriend and show them my screensaver – a picture of her. Although it sounds sad, it’s the sort of person I am and always will be. I would love to have someone in my life who could do that same. I spoilt her rotten the time we were together and everything I did was to make her happy. Seeing her smile and laugh was all I wanted to do. I know in a room of 1000 men I will never be the best looking person but there will be few who would treat someone better than me and one day someone will come along who will teach me how to love and trust someone again.

I’ve been too quiet and reserved about all this but seeing as you’re now engaged and shown very little respect for me, I’m finally speaking. Although you broke my heart, made me incredibly depressed, shattered my confidence, left me to feel unwanted and unimportant, made me feel the need to shutdown from everything in the world, and make me feel like I never wanted to speak to a girl or wanted a relationship ever again, I have to thank you because of what you did.

§ Thank you for making me realise I’m much stronger than I thought I was.

§ Thank you for bringing my family closer than ever.

§ Thank you for making me closer to my friends.

§ Thank you for showing me exactly how not to handle a long-term breakup.

§ Thank you for showing your true colours early on in life before kids and serious money was involved.

§ Thank you for making me become a better man.

I wish you all the happiness in the future and hope everything works out for you in your relationship, but I know for sure I would not trust a girl who did what you did. If I was your fiancé I’d be incredibly paranoid that you’ll do what you did to me, to him.

The purpose of this post is to highlight how disgusting cheating is. It literally tears the victim apart and if you cannot guarantee loyalty; end the relationship before they get hurt twice the amount. Never take someone back after cheating, if they have it in them to do it once, they’ll do it again. If someone is reading this in a similar situation you’re worth so much more and things will get better and you will find someone in the long term, talking to someone is the best thing you’ll ever do and keep your head up. Time is the best healer.

Love is a magical thing, if you have something special don’t take it for granted.

Sometimes you have to step out of the frame to see the picture

#relationship #cheating #mental health

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rudeinterrupti0ns · 5 years

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Amazon Prime Concert

ok here are all my thoughts about the gig. i've already posted a few thoughts such as how brilliant the audience were before taylor even came on, chanting her name and then screaming to high hell when appeared, and a few other things, but i've sort of decided to live post a bit in one post to be less annoying. so here is my terrible stream of consciousness, live from my bed and thanks to a total lack of sleep!

omg she's starting with me! yay!- i loved that she played this first. her first song released which is, at the end of the day, owned by her and it's so happy and cheery and it's such a positive start to this era. love it. also the video is unbeatable. suddenly thinking about benjamin. been distracted brb.

blank space - hell yeah after the last few weeks taylor's gonna play blank space! another great big fuck you to the media's opinion of her. god i love this song. she so smort. this song will never age because the media will always be this dumb. this is why taylor's timeless.

owh she's giving a speech about everyone already being the most supportive crowd. good work gang. that's what we were aiming for tonight.

ikywt - i felt it was really interesting she played ikywt, especially given that it's one of the few songs sc**ter changed on apple music. to me it felt like she was reminding everyone that it was HER song, no matter what he did with it. ooh a slightly funky ending! ooh taylor yeah mix it up!

'I wrote all of it'' YES TAYLOR! fucking tell em! we will never forget this. and i love that this is how she's dealing with it. cause she's right. tbh it's not like she needs the money from them and although i'm sure it fucking HURTS to a) be backstabbed by someone so close to her and b) have her musical children in the hands of someone else, she knows that in the world's eyes and in the fans' eyes and especially in her eyes the music is hers. and that's so important. we're not under any pretences that entire albums were ghostwritten like some singers do. we know that taylor's work is her own and so we accredit it to her. so i'm glad she's reminding everyone publicly again who wrote those somgs because she deserves to reiterate that no matter whose hands those songs are in...that she wrote them. good for you taylor.

love story yay!! - i cried during the intro lmao happens every time. and oh my god. there's a guy in the backwards cap during the first verse and he is so intensely singing the words and staring at taylor and it is amazing someone please find him. and oh my god PAUL SIDOTI YES BB show him the love he deserves.

"A little me and you time one on one on the guitar" YES PLEASE AND NEW YORK CITY HOOOOOLD UP WHAT YOU SAYING-

"I get inspired by lots of things in life, not just my own life but books and relationships between characters... but then there's being inspired by a place. That definitely happened to me when i spent a lot of time in new york city... this is the FIRST song that I wrote which was inspired by new york city" OK GUYS SHE HAD A MAJOR INFLECTION ON THE WORD "FIRST" I BET THERE'LL BE ANOTHER IN LOVER!!!!!!

ok side note i've just noticed yellow stars on the frets of taylor's guitar WHAT IS THE STAR THING?? so many easter eggs, so few brain cells.

AND YOU CAN WANT WHO YOU WANT BOYS AND BOYS GIRLS AND GIRLS yes taylor you show them that yntcd isnt queerbaiting you've been publicly supporting lgbtqa+ for yonks give them the receipts!! also this has got to be a shout out to the us womens soccer team. so cute. so deserving.

well that was bloody beautiful taylor. what a lovely version of that song. we have been blessed.

DELICATE 123 LGB!!! her face when everyone screamed it oh my god. she loves it. she fucking gets it. i love that amazon didn't censor it in time lmao, they weren't stan enough to know it was coming. i bet there was at least 1 swiftie working there keeping their mouth shut just so we could get an hq version of 123lgb lmao. brilliant.

also isn't delicate just so fucking good? ahhhhh the switch from acoustic to the backing track! love that. the kick into the 2nd verse is my favourite bit. great stuff.

STYLE. i s2g i hear the tiniest part of the beginning of the backing track and my whole body lights on fire. there really is no song like style. it is a pop masterpiece.

she's talking about lover!! - a love letter to love itself AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! love is complexity, struggle, pain, joy, hope... love is EQUALITY YEEEEEEEEET god she's such a good precious lil bean!!!! so much support for the queer community this era i am so here for it.

"would it be ok if for the first time ever we play yntcd live?" lmao taylor WHAT DO YOU THINK? hooooly shit. i love it.

ahh she's dancing! aha omg the little boxing motions taylor u geek. owh her lil choreography ugh, soft bean. MUST HAVE TAKEN ALL NIGHT lmaoooo her face. CAUSE SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY yes the crowd went IN! well done bbs. and omg why does amazon keep cutting to people standing there being miserable??? they've done it the whole show like what are these camera people doing?!?! maybe focus on people actually obviously having fun lmao. um also i see the beachballs in the background video... is that a wango tango reference? who knows maybe she's somehow made it another easter egg, incredible work.

last song?? noooo! but SHAKE IT OFF yes!! you literally feel the vibe in the room change. there's something about that song man. you literally cannot help but dance. god i wished i lived in nyc. for so many reasons. but also so i could have attended this. so much fun!!

LIARS AND DIRTY DIRTY CHEATS OF THE WORLD yes taylor fucking TELL THEM. these are your words!!! and you own them and you can apply them to whoever you want. because you are the rich man!! you are so strong and powerful and don't you forget it!

also whenever i see the shake it off rainbow confetti i just die. the love in that room.

oh she's going around holding everyone's hand!! TAYLOR!!!!!!

ok that was so much fun. now just 2 more days til july 13th 👀 and 4 days til my birthday, what a life we lead. hope you enjoyed my stream of connsciousness it probably reads terribly but i'm very excited and underslept. CONGRATS @taylorswift you KILLED it as usual!! @taylornation

#amazon prime concert #prime concert #taylor swift #taylornation #taylurking

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mariequitecontrarie · 6 years

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Meet Me in the Courtyard: Part 12 (THE END!)

Summary: Gold and Belle both want to take their relationship to the next level, but are afraid to say so. And then there’s a happy ending for all. The Fic: Belle hosts a monthly movie night in Storybrooke, always leaving the seat next to her empty. Gold loathes movies, yet movie night at the library is the one community event even he can’t seem to resist. A/N: Guys, I finished a thing! This fic began as a one-shot for @a-monthly-rumbelling and grew into this 12-chapter story. MMitC must end as it began, so written for the July AMR “I’m so sorry I’m late.” Many thanks to @galactic-pirates for helping me work through the end, and thanks to all of you for the comments, kudos, reblogs, and prompts. You kept me writing and I’m grateful. Rating: E overall; chapter T

{On AO3} Previous parts: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Belle’s yawn turned into a groan when Rumple tugged on his leash and whined for her to pick up the pace.

She and Gold were taking the puppy on his daily early morning walk around Gold’s neighborhood, a routine they had started after coming home from New York. Little Rumple’s strides were short but enthusiastic, and as Belle walk-skipped down the quiet street to keep up with his stubby little legs, she wondered who was walking whom.

While the sun climbed above the trees, Gold strolled beside her in an unhurried, loose-hipped gait and Belle admired his easy grace. Even balancing a cane to support his bad knee, he had no trouble keeping up with Rumple.

He must have noticed her struggle because he eased the leash out of her hand and slowed Rumple to a sedate trot with a quiet whistle. Belle smiled at how deftly her love handled the puppy. This dog had no doubts about who kept his bowl full of kibble.

“So karaoke night was fun,” Belle said. A breeze rustled the trees and she huddled deeper into her borrowed sweatshirt then tucked her arm into Gold’s with a shiver.

“It was,” Gold agreed, pressing a hand against her back to guide her across the street on their usual route toward the dog park. “Because we weren’t the ones with beer-soaked microphones in our faces.”

“Oh hush,” she teased, giving him a light smack on the arm with her free hand. “You have a wonderful voice. Ruby and Archie sound like they could audition for one of those vocal talent shows, and even Emma and Neal held their own. Me? When I sing, I sound like I’m shrieking from the inside of a tin can.”

“Sweetheart, don’t sell yourself short,” he said with a heated glance. “You know how partial I am to the sound of your shrieking.”

The warmth in his eyes made her blush. She had screamed for him not an hour ago when she’d awoken with his mouth on her breasts and his hands caressing the insides of her thighs.

She was in the best relationship of her life and happier than anyone had a right to be, but something was bothering her. A longing had crawled beneath her skin, one she couldn’t seem to shake off. Since last night’s conversation at the Rabbit Hole with Emma and Neal, all she could think about was having Gold’s baby. After seeing the crestfallen look on his face when he found out he wasn’t going to be a grandfather after all, the flash of an idea had bloomed into a full-blown fantasy. Suddenly, she couldn’t contain the wild image of the two of them pushing a stroller carrying their own baby while Rumple trotted proudly at their side. In her mind’s eye, she saw a baby boy, one with his father’s beautiful dark eyes and thick brown hair. Although she knew she would love a daughter just as much.

Belle had always imagined children somewhere in her future, as long as the right partner came into her life. Will certainly hadn’t been the one, and neither had any of the other guys she dated through the years. Gold was different. Besides the fact that she was crazy in love with him, there had been this softness, a reverence in his voice when he spoke last night about the possibility of a child. It was the same soft-spoken tenderness she’d heard when he asked her about birth control in the taxi.

In the time they’d spent together, she’d seen that Gold was an excellent father. Despite Neal’s decisions to drop out of college, sleep till noon every day, and play video games, Gold exhibited a quiet patience with his son, never pushing him to make decisions before he was ready. Neal’s choice to stay in his father’s home spoke volumes, and last night proved they could make the best of their differences. And even though Gold had sworn Neal’s wanderlust meant he would never settle in Storybrooke, Gold had remarked more than once about how much his son loved Emma.

She suspected no one but she and Neal knew how soft Gold’s heart truly was.

Belle worried her lower lip, trying not to look too far around the bend at what the future might hold. She’d wanted a relationship with Gold for months, but maybe his feelings weren’t moving along at the same brisk pace. Three weeks of commitment wasn’t long, and there was no harm in enjoying the day-to-day. Besides, Gold had made her no promises and she wasn’t going to start making demands.

But might Gold want a child with her someday? It was definitely an idea worth exploring in time.

“Rumple seems content.” Belle smiled at the jaunty wag of the puppy’s tail and set aside her wistful thoughts. “You’ve obviously been taking good care of him since you made the adoption official.”

Gold slackened the leash while the puppy rounded a tree, sniffed the base of the trunk with an enthusiastic bark, and lifted his leg.

“You’ve done more than your share to care for him and he’s at least as fond of you as he is me.” He shook his head at the little brown pup. “Rascal keeps trying to take my spot in bed. I went to the bathroom during the night and when I got back he was on my pillow. Have you been hiding pepperoni snacks in your pajamas to lure him in?”

Rumple turned around and whimpered at the mention of his favorite treat. “No,” Gold admonished the pup. “You get your treat later.”

Belle laughed at the mutinous expression on Rumple’s tiny face then turned to Gold with a pretend pout. “I don’t wear pajamas when I sleep in your bed. I barely sleep at all when I’m in your bed. You’ve been keeping me awake and it’s caused me a few embarrassing moments at work.”

“Tell me more.” Gold grinned, his gold tooth flashing in the morning sunlight.

“You’re incorrigible.” Belle shook her head. “Yesterday morning, I spilled my coffee all over a new boxed set of the Anne of Green Gables series. And after lunch I insisted to Mayor Mills that the heroine of Pride and Prejudice is Emma Woodhouse. She was not impressed.”

“Still an Austen character,” he pointed out graciously.

“I’m a librarian,” she complained. “I can’t afford those types of careless errors.”

She smoothed her free hand over yesterday’s skirt and sighed. Her clipped words were making it sound like she wasn’t happy with their arrangement, which wasn’t true at all. She was confused. Confused and caffeine-starved.

“Fair point.” Gold looked over her wrinkled clothing and frowned. It made no difference to him if Belle wore the same clothes home that she’d arrived in and he loved seeing her in his sweatshirt, but her lack of permanence in his home made him feel restless and agitated. Last week, she’d brought a toothbrush to keep in his bathroom, but when she wasn’t there, it was the only sign she had been in the house. The rest of her clothing and belongings were still at her apartment.

He didn’t want her going back to her apartment to shower and dress. He didn’t want her to leave at all, but he was still working out how to ask for more. He looked down at the sidewalk, counting the cracks in the pavement as they walked. What if she wasn’t ready to take their relationship to the next level?

“Why don’t you?” he asked.

“Why don’t I what?”

“Bring pajamas?”

She raised her shapely eyebrows then looked down at their linked arms. “I guess I didn’t want to break the spell. As long as we were taking this day-by-day and I wasn’t presuming…” she trailed off.

“Nothing presumptuous about pajamas.” He barked a nervous laugh and focused his attention on the swish of Rumple’s little tail as they walked, suddenly afraid to meet her eyes.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said after a moment.

“Then maybe you should keep some things at my house?” he continued. “Clothes, shoes, books? I can empty some drawers for you. Then you can relax. Maybe even get some sleep some nights. We could have breakfast together and you could leave for work from my house instead of making an extra stop.”

He tightened his fingers around the head of his cane and chanced a sideways glance at her.

“Sounds sensible,” she said.

Her brow was furrowed, the confusion on her face mimicking his own feelings. It wasn’t enough. The woman walking next to him was his whole world. He didn’t want to simply make space for her in his dresser; he wanted it to be their dresser, their closet, their bed.

He had to be brave, he reasoned. Even if they weren’t yet in the same place, he wouldn’t spoil things by being a step or two ahead. Hope didn’t come naturally to him but Belle’s sweet, forgiving spirit made it easy to look to the future.

“Come here,” he said, drawing her close. She snuggled against his side with a little sigh, their thighs brushing together while they walked. He took a deep breath and tried again. “What would you think about making a change to your address? Letting go of your place and bringing all your things to mine?”

He felt her mouth open against his shoulder and she pulled away.

A delighted smile spread across her face and she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and clasped her hands together. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

He grinned at her like a fool, the tension in his body melting at her obvious pleasure. “Not very articulately, but yes. Bad idea?”

“Branan Gold, this is the absolute best idea you’ve had since you decided to walk around your hotel room in a towel!”

“Is that a yes?” he asked, grinning like an even bigger fool.

“Yes!” She hopped up and down in the middle of Maple Street and grabbed his hands. “Yes, I would love to move in with you. When?”

The excitement in her tone sent a thrill up his spine. He’d been so nervous about getting ahead of himself, but his burst of bravery had paid off. Belle was ready to take this next step too, and there was no reason to pretend or to wait.

He took another deep breath, claiming his courage once more. “How about we go get some of your belongings today? I love you, Belle. I want to be with you always.”

A tear trickled down her cheek and she threw her arms around his neck with a small sob, then pulled back to stroke her fingers through his hair. “I want it, too. I’ve known since New York. Well, way before New York. But I didn’t want to presume.”

“There’s that word again.” He laughed and kissed her nose. “Oh, my love. If you hadn’t ‘presumed’ by running after me during the movie night at the beginning of the summer, none of this would ever have happened. I’d still be standing in the middle of the street behind the rows of chairs, watching the most beautiful librarian in the world from behind a tree.”

“And I’d still be leaving the seat next to me empty, waiting for my dashing leading man to join me for a movie,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“That wouldn’t make for a very happy ending,” he murmured against her mouth.

“I’m far more partial to happy beginnings,” she said, parting her lips for his kiss.

Nine Months Later

Nursing a lukewarm cup of strawberry lemonade, Belle scanned the crowded library courtyard and the parking lot beyond on tiptoe.

“Relax, sweetheart,” Gold murmured, coming up behind her to wrap his arms around her thickening waistline. “Archie drives like a demon. They’ll be here on time.”

“You’re right,” Belle said, leaning back against his chest with a deep breath. At seven months pregnant, she could blame at least part of her jitters on hormones. “ You’d think a mild-mannered, soft-spoken shrink would be a sedate driver, but he has a lead foot for sure.”

Gold splayed his hands over her baby bump and their little one delivered a swift, hard kick to her ribcage. “Our boy is strong,” he said, pride lacing his words.

“And hungry,” Belle replied, watching carts filled with cotton candy, popcorn, and roasted pecans roll by. “Can I get some popcorn now?”

“Of course, love. I’ll be right back.”

She beamed at him as he picked his way through the crowd to the popcorn cart. He’d been amazing throughout her pregnancy, from the day she’d wrung her hands waiting for multiple test results to last night when she’d sent him to the store at midnight because they’d run out of Cocoa Pebbles cereal.

May had arrived in Storybrooke, heralded by warm breezes off the sea and the bright, citrusy scent of magnolia blossoms. And tonight, the familiar spring scents blended with the buttery aroma of fresh popcorn, tickling her nostrils. In a few short minutes, Belle would introduce the last summer of movies in the library courtyard, and she was equal parts excitement and nostalgia: Gold had donated a huge tract of land to the library and next week, Storybrooke would break ground on its very own drive-in movie theatre. By next spring, they would be watching double features from their cars and lawn chairs.

Ending the event’s run was bittersweet for many reasons—not the least of which was that she’d created the movie nights partly as a way to draw out Gold. But as she watched the extra rows of chairs fill up, she had to admit the town had outgrown projecting films onto the side of the library wall. No one was happier than she was about the success of her little courtyard movie project, though, and Storybrooke getting an outdoor big screen was something to cheer about.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!”

Ruby sprinted across the courtyard in her lucky stiletto-heeled red leather boots, and Belle set her cup of lemonade on a bench. “You’re not late, sweetie!” She opened her arms with a squeal. “How did it go?”

“I did it, Belles!” Ruby embraced her as she panted, out of breath from her run. “I passed my last final! Top of the class!”

“I knew all your studying and hard work would pay off.” Last September, Ruby had enrolled in a cosmetology school in Augusta. The town was a forty-five-minute drive from Storybrooke and her last exam of the term had been this morning.

“Congratulations.” Gold handed Belle a bucket of popcorn and a fresh drink, then turned to Ruby with a smirk. “Was running the 100-yard dash across a field in ridiculous footwear part of the examination?”

“Suck it, Gold.” Laughing, Ruby stuck out her tongue. “I’m brilliant. And cool.”

“As if you’d let me forget,” he teased.

Archie arrived, his eyes bright with happiness, and wrapped his arms around Ruby. “She talked a mile a minute the entire way here. Couldn’t even wait for me to park the car. She opened the door and jumped out while we were still moving!”

Ruby elbowed Archie in the ribs. “I was excited!”

“Ya think?”

“It’s all thanks to you guys that I applied to beauty school in the first place,” Ruby said. “I’m not ashamed to work at the diner or anything, but I always felt I was meant for something different, you know?”

“You’re incredibly talented, Rubes.” Belle beamed, beyond happy Ruby had found her calling and was learning to do work she loved.

Gold and Archie stepped a few feet away, launching into their own conversation.

“Belles, you look amazing tonight.” Ruby gave her airy, tie-front yellow jumpsuit an approving nod. “I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy, the news of the drive-in, or the conditioner I started using on your hair, but you’re glowing, girl!”

“Finally it’s my turn!” Belle said with a laugh. “I had to get pregnant to steal a compliment from Gold.”

“Well, he is my favorite,” Ruby said with a wink. “Think he’ll let me highlight his hair for the summer?”

Belle squinted at Gold, trying to imagine his brown, shoulder-length mane shot through with blonde streaks. “You never know.”

“Do you have it?” Gold asked Archie, watching Belle and Ruby link arms and walk toward the concession stand in search of hot dogs.

“In my pocket.” Archie patted the side of his trousers. “You?”

“Aye.”

Holding Belle’s abandoned popcorn, Gold led the way to the picnic tables and Archie followed, grabbing a handful of napkins for dinner. “Think they suspect?”

“It’s hard to say, but I don’t think so,” he said, choosing a table. He sat down and took a handful of popcorn, then tilted the box toward Archie. “Belle’s rather distracted by the pregnancy.”

“And Ruby’s exams have taken over.” Archie sat down beside him and did a double take. “Are you eating popcorn?”

Gold chewed another fluffy kernel. Thanks to Belle and hours of talking with Archie, the events surrounding his separation from Milah all those years ago were a distant memory. He no longer hated movies or popcorn. “This stuff isn’t half bad when it’s fresh. Besides, my psychiatrist said replacing bad memories with positive ones would help with my personal growth.”

So much had changed in the past year. His relationship with Neal grew stronger by the day and Emma spent so much time at the house that he and Belle thought of her as a daughter. Bored with sitting at home playing video games, Neal had decided to put his charm and charisma to good use and was working on getting his real estate license. He and Emma were making plans to move in together, and Gold hoped they would marry soon. Emma’s strength and independence were good for his boy.

And he was going to be a father again. The week after Belle moved in, Ashley Boyd knocked on the door to plead with Belle to babysit her six-month-old daughter, Alexandra. Between misinterpreting Emma and Neal’s news on karaoke night and watching the love of his life coo and rock a gorgeous, gurgling little pink bundle, he was a goner. After Ashley collected the baby, he asked Belle to forget everything he’d said in New York about not being ready for children. To his delight, she agreed without hesitation. Two months and six positive pregnancy tests later, they were expecting their son in October.

Tonight he was taking another giant step in making them a family by asking Belle to be his wife.

As it happened, Archie had decided to ask Ruby to marry him as well. Gold had a partner for ring-shopping and a built-in best man for his wedding, and they’d both decided to pop the question tonight. He couldn’t think of anyone he’d like to share this experience with more than his best friend.

“Way to turn a corner, Gold. I’m proud of you.” Archie pushed his glasses up and grinned and Gold knew he was talking about far more than his new affinity for popcorn.

“Fishing tomorrow?” Archie asked.

“Sounds grand,” Gold said. “Perhaps we can take the ladies out for a celebratory brunch afterward, assuming there’s something to celebrate.”

“And here I was going to suggest a double wedding.” Archie snorted. “Pessimist.”

“Old habits die hard, I suppose.” Gold thwacked Archie on the back while Belle and Ruby moved in their direction, each bearing trays loaded with hot dogs and onion rings. “I’ll get the drinks.”

He traipsed back to the concession stand and joined the line.

“Hello, darling.”

Gold gritted his teeth and flexed his fingers around the head of his cane. God help him, he would know that exaggerated English drawl anywhere.

“Carolina.” He spun around, baring his teeth in a mocking grin. “Thought I smelled a whiff of desperation and gin. What the hell are you doing here?”

She threw her ever-present fur stole over her shoulder and simpered. “I love a good movie as much as the next girl. Aren’t you going to kiss me hello?”

Gold took a step back. “I meant what are you doing here? In my town.”

“Your town is my town, Gold,” she retorted with a sly smile.

“Excuse me?” Baffled, he stared at her. She couldn’t mean? Could she?

She stared at her nails. “Not like it’s any of your business, darling, but I’m moving here to Bookville.”

“It’s Storybrooke.”

She waved her manicured hand. “Details, darling. Always getting in the way of what’s important, don’t you agree?”

“Details make the world go round, darling .”

Carolina pursed her lips. “Well if you must know, I’ve met someone. A fellow animal lover called Ursula. We’ve decided to open up a shop selling luxury furs. Mink, raccoon, muskrat, beaver, that sort of thing.”

“How enterprising,” he sneered. “And what gave you the brilliant idea to give up your profitable operation in Great Neck to grace our tiny Podunk town with your illustrious presence?”

She pouted. “You’re not going to be sore and hold all my silly comments in New York against me, are you, Gold? It was your Belle who convinced me I could be happy here.”

He frowned, more snarky words on the tip of his tongue, but the lines bracketing his old rival’s mouth were deep and harsh. She looked tired and he almost felt sorry for her. “Belle did?”

“Yes, the night we met for dinner in the city. She told me you were making friends here.” Carolina’s smooth smile faltered. “I figured if you could find love and friendship and be happy, there was a chance for me, too?”

“Of course there is,” he agreed, unable to believe he was welcoming Carolina de Vil to Storybrooke, of all people.

She laid a hand on his arm. “Such a charming, delightful creature, your Belle. You’re a lucky bastard.”

“Well at least we agree on that,” he said, making a mental note to keep Rumple and Pongo far, far away from Carolina and her penchant for furs.

“Congratulations on the pregnancy, by the way.” She elbowed him in the stomach. “Didn’t think you had it in you, Gold, but thank God you do. I’ve always wanted to be an aunt.”

She spun away before he could reply, her sequined dress glittering in the dimming evening light.

Gold breathed a long-suffering sigh as she walked away. Considering he and Belle were only children, their son was shaping up to have more aunts and uncles than an offspring of the Walton family.

“How about over here?” Gold asked, slipping into a chair and patting the seat beside him.

“In the back row?” Belle whispered, lowering herself into the aisle seat. “What mischief do you have in mind, Mr. Gold?”

“None at all, Miss French.” He brushed her lips with his. “But if we sit back here we can talk without disturbing others.”

She gave him a flirtatious frown. “Talk during the movie? Why? Are you not excited about a summer full of baby movies? After this we have Baby Boom , Boss Baby, and Look Who’s Talking.”

“Really?” his eyes widened.

“No, darling.” She sighed. “I’m pregnant, not crazy.”

“I’m sure all the movies you’ve chosen are wonderful, sweetheart,” he soothed. “But I’ll be much too busy admiring you to notice anything on the screen.”

“Flatterer,” she huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “You’re just making excuses not to pay attention.”

“Perhaps this’ll help?” He shook a box of Raisinettes in her face.

“Oh, thank God. I’m ravenous.” She seized the bright yellow box with a groan. She’d already polished off a Chicago-style hot dog, onion rings, a large soda, and a bucket of popcorn. “I swear this baby wants to eat every fifteen minutes.”

The movie began, and Belle heard a happy squeal from the bushes behind her. She turned around to see Ruby bouncing up and down, her hands covering her cheeks before she threw her arms around Archie and cried, “Yes!”

“What are they doing?” she asked, starting to stand up and go see what all the commotion was about. The way Archie had jumped up from his knees was suspicious. “That looked an awful lot like a marriage proposal. Are they? Did Archie?”

“Never mind them!” Gold yanked on her arm and dragged her back into her chair. “There’s that Tom Selleck fellow you love, Belle. I need to you to talk me through the film; you know I won’t follow along without your help.” He stared up at the screen, unusually interested in the movie. “What are we watching again?”

“But Ruby-”

“Sweetheart.” He was still holding onto her arm, his grip light but desperate. “Please?”

She narrowed her eyes. “ You’re trying to distract me, but I’ll answer you anyway,” she whispered. “Three Men and a Baby. It’s an eighties classic.”

He gave her a tender smile. “I noticed Leroy talking to you during dinner. He still tossing out baby names at you? What was it this time? Adelbert? Cristobal?”

Belle frowned, trying to remember. “No, this one started with an ‘R.’ Rodrigo, Rufio...something like that. But I bribed him to stop with the uncle thing.”

“Leroy, too?” Gold shook his head. “Neal, Emma, Ruby, Archie, Astrid, Carolina, Leroy. The number of aunts and uncles this child has is only surpassed by the number of people claiming responsibility for the success of our relationship.”

She hummed. “A child can never have too much love. Besides, everyone knows you are one thousand percent responsible for the success of our relationship.”

“Lies.” He drew her head onto his shoulder and caressed her baby bump. “So what would you think about becoming Mrs. Gold again?”

“Like in New York?” She fished into the box for another Raisinette and popped it into her mouth, chewing furiously to cover her racing heart. His tone was casual. Too casual. Was this it? He’d bandied the word marriage about for months, but he hadn’t come out and asked. She held her breath, waiting.

He shrugged. “Like New York, yes, but I had something a bit more permanent in mind.”

“Permanent?” she squeaked, tightening her hands around the box of candy.

Oh, but his nonchalance was making her crazy!

“Isn’t this how the best movies go?” he asked. “The happy ending features some sort of callback to previous events.”

“Happy beginning,” she said automatically. She lifted her head from his shoulder, a smile spreading across her face. This was it and it was perfect. She blinked rapidly fighting back the happy tears. Oh, how she loved him.

“Happy beginning, I stand corrected.” His lopsided grin made her stomach flip over. “If being Mrs. Gold doesn’t suit, I could make a change to my name. I’m not fussy.”

“Would you like to be Mr. French?” she teased, playing along.

“I could be persuaded,” he said against her ear. The warm, husky timbre of his voice sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

“Belle Gold has a lovely ring to it, though,” she said. “We could both have the initials BG.”

“Ideal for the monogrammed His and Hers towel set I already have on order.”

She giggled and he extended his index finger. The light from the movie screen illuminated his hand, and on it dangled a stunning diamond solitaire ring. The band was fashioned of rose gold and delicate rosebuds were etched into the metal all the way around. It was the perfect blend of modern and vintage, and exactly what she would have chosen for herself.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” she asked, her breath catching in her throat. Saying it out loud somehow made it more real.

“Not very articulately, but yes. Bad idea?”

“Oh, Branan.” Overwhelmed, she took the ring off his finger with shaking hands and somehow found her ring finger. The ring slid into place, its cool weight feeling as much like home as the man sitting next to her. “Best idea yet.”

“Better than wearing the towel?”

She grinned at him through her tears. “Let’s call it a tie.”

THE END

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #rumbelle au #red cricket #mr. gold x belle french #swanfire #meet me in the courtyard #mqc writes #I finished a thing!#a monthly rumbelling

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theunderdogwrites · 3 years

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Ghislaine Maxwell: Co-Conspirator or Victim?

There are a few things in this world that gross me out to my very core:

- Children eating ice cream. Just no. More gets on their face than in their mouths and it activates my gag reflex and I must look away in horror. And someone get the hose because I am not touching any of it come clean up time.

- Feet. There are no words

- Bestial older men who terrorize young women and under-age girls with sex and those who help them engage in lascivious behavior. Should this not be something that disgusts everyone?

My zodiac sign pegs me as more of a leader than a follower. I find this laughable, but some around me might argue that I am capable of taking the reigns, but not always the best at adhering to authority exerted by others. If I am challenging you for your position, it’s because you’re either a bully or a fucking senseless shitbag and I don’t want those around you subjected to your vast lack of insight. Because in reality, I am super happy to follow intelligent, respectful human beings and even behave myself. It means I can just smile and nod and day dream – my favorite pastime.

If you are not familiar with the name Ghislaine Maxwell, I still hope you cringe at the name Jeffery Epstein. Convicted sex offender and all-around sack of malevolent slime. Also, a coward. Also, unfortunately dead (either by his own hand *I don’t believe it* or snuffed out by some frightened people of great power *I believe this*) before he was able to be made someone’s bitch in prison. Such a tragedy when sex offenders / sex traffickers don’t live long enough in prison to be passed around and used like a cum dumpster. Sometimes the punishment SHOULD fit the crime.

There is plenty of information out there about Ghislaine Maxwell. Here are a few key points on her:

- Her father was Robert Maxwell. He was a British media proprietor, a former member of Parliament (MP), a suspected spy, and a fraudster (having misappropriated the pension funds of his employees). Just to give you a good idea of who Robert Maxwell was: he was the inspiration for the villainous media baron Elliot Carver in the 1997 James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies. I. Am. Jealous!

- Her father died in November 1991. He had boarded his 190-foot yacht, aptly name, Lady Ghislaine and found the next morning naked, spread-eagled and afloat in the Atlantic. Two autopsies could not conclusively prove a cause of death, but most say suicide because he was set to answer questions surrounding his corporation’s billion-pound debt load that was distributed among at least nine different international banks and investment firms, and the massive hole in its pension reserves. In simpler terms – he was fucked

- Robert Maxwell left his family in ruins. Ghislaine, his favorite child whom he groomed in his image from a young age, was understandably crushed

- Ghislaine is best known for being a socialite with immense connections among the international elite. It’s been stated that she was quite personable, a little bit quirky and therefore often a standout at parties; with many people being drawn to her. (Side note: I recently watched the HBO documentary on her titled, ‘Epstein’s Shadow’ and the tagline under ALL of the people they interviewed who knew her on a social level read, “former friend of Ghislaine Maxwell”. This just made me laugh. I’ve tried to envision the conversation where these people demanded that FORMER be included. Yes, quickly distance yourself from the stink less they think you too might smell bad)

- Depending on who you listen to, Ghislaine met Epstein in either the late 1980’s when her father introduced them (how apropos) or in the late 1990’s at a party in New York following a difficult breakup with a Count. I wonder what breaking up with a Count looks like, feels like. A Count is a historical title of nobility in certain European countries, generally of average rank in the hierarchy of nobility. So basically, he’s not THAT special. But probably feels he is because, well, he has a title. Just imagine the insult you could hurl at him during the break-up: “Count von Count has a bigger penis than you!” *If you do not know who that is – just leave now because you’re shameful*.

- Epstein and Maxwell started out as a couple, but that morphed into more of a companionship / friendship / let’s rape young girls together type situation. You know, how most connections organically evolve.

- Ghislaine Maxwell has been accused of befriending minors and attempting to build a relationship with them, then later delivering them to Jeffrey Epstein to abuse. Maxwell would allegedly lure the young girls to Epstein’s residence under the guise of paid massage work. She’d target disadvantaged minors who she thought wouldn’t be able to refuse the money. Maxwell & Epstein allegedly lured slightly older women into their gross lives with the promise to assist in their careers.

- Additionally, Maxwell and Epstein have been accused of trafficking some of these girls out to their friends and associates among their extremely elite circle. Most notably, is Prince Andrew. Investigators have identified as many as 36 girls that were victims of Epstein and Maxwell’s sex trafficking ring. Some of them - as young as 14. It’s believed there are many more victims yet to be identified.

- Following Epstein’s arrest in July 2019, the FBI started looking for Ghislaine. She went into hiding. Eleven months after Epstein’s “suicide” in prison on August 10, 2019, Maxwell was located. She was arrested in New Hampshire, where she was living a life of seclusion on a sprawling ranch.

- Ghislaine Maxwell faces federal charges including transporting a minor for the purposes of criminal sexual activity, and conspiring to entice minors to travel and engage in illegal sex acts. She is awaiting trial in a Manhattan jail. A trial that was to begin July 12, 2021 but has been delayed till the fall at the request of Maxwell.

You now know all you need to know about Ghislaine Maxwell for the purposes of finishing this piece.

The HBO documentary poised a question and instead of answering it, they’ve pretty much left this viewer with repetitive thoughts and disrupted sleep while trying to answer that very question… ‘Ghislaine Maxwell, Co-Conspirator or Victim?’.

Victim: a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency / a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency

My first thought when this question came up: “Wow HBO, if I was a victim of Epstein’s depravity, I’d be so pissed at you right now. Daring to group in the woman accused (several times over) of basically being a fancy pimp and securing playthings for her rich, giant-faced brute and his pals, with the young women whose lives and brain chemistry (yes, I said that: see TRAUMA) have been forever altered by Epstein’s fuckery… BOLD”.

But that thought took me to this thought: “Ghislaine was a Daddy’s girl. And as we know, her dad was a fiend. It is repeated many times in print, that Robert Maxwell conditioned his daughter and corrupted her character. In some twisted way, there might be a case in which she is in fact, a victim. A victim of a severe patriarchal environment that started at a young age and was instrumental in forming her concepts of success, decency and love (given and received)”.

My mind then went straight to this:

She was raised by a plump, rotten human being and most likely, wanted to please her dad… as most daughters often do, and perhaps never thought to question anything. How many of us are guilty of that?

Robert Maxwell passes (Ghislaine has maintained that he was murdered, but with no evidence to support her claims) and the now lost, without a compass Ghislaine, finds her way to Jeffery Epstein.

I think there is something to be said for what and who we attract into our lives. And for what and who we allow to stay in our lives. I’m just going to assume that the majority of people in this world do not willingly desire to attract destructive, soul sucking wankers into their lives, but have had to expunge a number of them from their existence. Full vision doesn’t always mean you are not blind. Love can be murky and really fuck up those rose-coloured glasses.

Co-Conspirator: A co-conspirator is a fellow conspirator - someone engaged in a secret plan by multiple people to do something evil or illegal

By this definition, Ghislaine Maxwell should be spending a great deal of the rest of her life in prison.

She saw bad stuff. She blinded herself to bad stuff. She facilitated bad stuff. She became the bad stuff.

If I was the prosecuting attorney, I might end with those four sentences. But make it all dramatic… throw in a brief pause after each one… maybe do the Bill Clinton “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” thumb gesture:

On second thought, considering how intertwined he could be in all of this… I’d most likely just use the classier karate chop into the open palm to bring my points home:

(Side Note: if you really hate your life, try a deep dive on active hand gestures and how they often provide social leverage)

So, to finally answer HBO’s question: ‘Ghislaine Maxwell, Co-Conspirator or Victim?’…

As I was told numerous times in counselling… “You are not at fault for the things that happened to you when you were young and had no control. But as an adult, you can’t let those past experiences define you and your actions. If you do, then you are responsible for the things you do now”.

Fault is past tense. Responsibility is present tense.

Ghislaine is not at fault for how she was raised or groomed, but if she lured just ONE girl/woman into Epstein’s clutches to be raped and trafficked, then she is absolutely responsible and should be held fully accountable.

She was a victim who turned into not just a co-conspirator but also a lying coward.

I believe ALL the women.

#ghislaine maxwell #jeffery epstein #bill clinton #hbo #epstein's shadow

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johnboothus · 4 years

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VinePair Podcast: What VinePairs Data Says About Current Drinks Trends

We’re far enough into July 2020 to get a handle on what drinking trends are defining this most unusual of summers. What’s even better than knowing what trends are big right now is whether they’re going to last — and if not, what will replace them.

That’s what Adam Teeter and Zach Geballe are digging into on this week’s episode of the VinePair Podcast, using VinePair’s proprietary Insights platform to help explain which trends will stick around, and why.

For example, were you aware that the No. 1 cocktail in American right now is the Margarita? And that tequila sales are spiking? What’s the reason for that? Can we expect to see some of that excitement carry over into adjacent spirit and cocktail categories, such as light rum and the Daiquiri?

Or maybe you’ve heard that Champagne is taking a beating right now. Is there any hope for the iconic wine region and its eponymous bubbly? Tune in for answers to these questions and more.

Listen Online

Listen on iTunes

Listen on Spotify

Or Check Out Our Conversation Here

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Zach: In Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: This is the VinePair Podcast. Zach before we get into today’s podcast, let’s talk a little bit about our favorite rum, Goslings, who is bringing you this podcast. It’s a secret blend of three different distillates, each aged separately in once-used charred oak bourbon barrels. Goslings Black Seal Rum is the key ingredient in Bermuda’s national drink, which you and I spoke about a little bit early, about a month ago, the Dark ‘n Stormy. It was originally offered in Champagne bottles sealed with black wax, from whence comes its name.

Z: Spoiler alert for upcoming episodes, it’s good that they no longer need to use empty Champagne bottles because there’s a lack of them on the market right now.

A: There is. It’s a dark rum that still possesses the same, smooth, rich, intricate flavor as the original flavor from the 1850s. It’s still slowly aged in small batches, and it was awarded the highest award, the Platinum Medal, in the Beverage Tasting Institute. For a limited time, you can use code VinePair at checkout at Reservebar.com and you’ll get $15 off your Goslings rum order. I’m definitely going to have to make a Dark ‘n Stormy later.

Z: Oh, man. I might need one too after this podcast.

A: Zach, Erica is out on vacation this week. So, it is just you and me, like old times.

Z: Oh my gosh. Vacation? What is that? I forget.

A: I know. She went to a home that she’s rented in previous years in the Catskills, which is a very lovely place in upstate New York, so she’s having a good time.

Z: I’m pretty sure she’s not missing us at all if her Instagram feed is to be believed.

A: Exactly. It looks like she’s had some nice meals. She saw bear cubs. She’s had a good time.

Z: Yeah! So, here’s a question for you that this prompts. Let’s say you are in possession of a very specific kind of magic where you can safely travel wherever you want and be reasonably safe. Where would you most want to be in the U.S.?

A: In the U.S.? I was hoping you’d ask that. If you said the world it would be hard. Geez.

Z: I mean right now. Not any time of year.

A: Are restaurants open or not?

Z: You can dine outside. It’s not fully back to normal. You’ve got to fold into that that you don’t necessarily want to go somewhere that’s known for its many great, crowded nightclubs if that would be your choice. You can have a nice meal that would be presumably outside or something like that at least.

A: Honestly, I think I would go to the Outer Banks, in North Carolina, because I like to be at the beach. Although everything happening in the South right now scares me in terms of the levels. If we’re still saying we’re in Covid times, I don’t know if that’s where I would go. Or, the area of the country where Erica has gone. The Catskills area is very cool. There’s a lot of really amazing restaurants and things happening. There is some outdoor dining happening. There’s still water. For me, I want to have access to water. That’s summer for me. I would hope that whatever house I rented had a pool. The only reason I wouldn’t say the western coast of the U.S. is that I’m assuming I still have to drive there.

Z: Oof.

A: That’s too long of a drive. I am thinking about a vacation potentially in August, going down to either Virginia or Maryland. Something like the wine country area of Virginia. I’ve talked to a couple of producers about visiting them. I’ve been looking at rental properties for a week with Naomi. I don’t know if that’s something that I’ll end up feeling comfortable doing. Right now, I’m at least thinking about it. I would meet my parents. They would come up halfway. Who knows? What about you?

Z: The place that’s near that I would want to go to is the Oregon coast, especially a little bit further south, not all the way down to California, but closer to the border. It’s really beautiful there. It’s a little bit warmer than the Washington coast, which can also be lovely this time of year. It feels far enough away that it’s special. There are also some amazing golf courses out there, which is one of the few things that I will be doing this summer to have some outdoor enjoyment. That was my trip. It’s also the kind of place where you can find places to rent that have full kitchens. With a kid, it’s hard to think about dining out as being anything other than incredibly stressful. It already is with a child, and then when you add Covid on top of it, it’s just not worth it to me.

A: Is that area of the Oregon coast, it is “Goonies” land, like we discussed with Dan?

Z: Not far from there.

A: Interesting. I think the idea of being close to water or near something, a place where you can get fresh stuff, that’s also the appeal of places like the Catskills. They have all this fresh trout. Where my wife is from in Lancaster, Pa., is also a pretty cool place to get away for a little while because it’s a nice town with really good restaurants. We wrote an article about Lancaster being this big foodie destination for chefs and spirits writers recently. They have the country’s oldest farmers’ market.

Z: Oh!

A: It’s really cool. It’s right in the center of town. It’s in an actual food hall. It’s the oldest and longest operating market in the country.

Z: Interesting.

A: I never realized this. It’s actually the country’s breadbasket, they say, east of the Mississippi. There’s all this fertile land. There’s tons of farms. If you’re a New Yorker listening to this podcast, you probably wonder why you see, “These tomatoes were from Lancaster County. This chicken is from Lancaster County. This meat is from Lancaster County.” It’s a really fertile area. It’s really cool. There’s a lot of things to do outdoors. You could go to some restaurants, but if you were looking for just access to really great food supplies so that you could cook yourself, you’d have that access, which makes it great.

Z: I’m just fond of Lancaster, Pa., because that’s where I was from on my fake Pennsylvania ID that I used in college.

A: That’s hilarious.

Z: I don’t remember my exact address. For years I had it memorized, in case someone asked. Yes, I was from Lancaster, PA, according to my ID.

A: Speaking of fake IDs, have you seen all these news reports that this is a hot time for people to be buying underage alcohol because they’re wearing masks? People can’t tell if they’re actually the face on the ID or not.

Z: These are the things that do give me hope for the future. Right? You know what, take this opportunity to make yourself look 70 years old, wear a mask, and yeah, go buy your $11 bottle of vodka. Have fun.

A: It’s hilarious. I’ve seen it. Look, I don’t support underage drinking, although I did partake in it. It’s just very funny. You always find a way. Let’s get into today’s topic which is talking a lot about the trends we’ve been seeing. I know you know this, and some of our listeners might be aware: Nine months ago, we launched this product as a part of the VinePair platform called VinePair Insights. If you’re more interested in learning about it, you can email [email protected] or [email protected]. We’re more than happy to tell you more about it. The way the product works is that it pulls in 225,000 data points a day, in addition to 800 million data points from Google every year. It’s well over a billion data points that we’re looking at every year to predict trends in the alcohol beverage market. Looking at 65 different categories of wine, beer, and spirits, we look at where demand will be. We knew that we had this larger readership, so we thought we could use that to help understand what’s happening in the industry. Right now, all the industry really has is sales data. We don’t really have a lot of demand data. As we’ve discussed previously, if there’s a demand for a product, when a product is in the market, you would never see that reflected in Nielsen data. If the product wasn’t there for people to buy then you would never know that it’s something that people want. This data shows you what people want, which is cool. There’s a lot of things we’ve been noticing since Covid, and I thought it would be fun to take this time to talk about some of the biggest trends we’re seeing, and try to understand why those trends are.

Z: It’s like back to the really old days, before Erica came in with all her facts and sourced data. We just talked about whatever we wanted to. This is just us shooting the sh*t. I like it.

A: Exactly. I figured it would be interesting to go through some of the things that we’re seeing and talk about where the opportunities are based on those things, what the causes are, and if we think they’re turning around. The biggest thing, which is interesting, is that the Margarita has become the cocktail of the year. It’s always been one of the most popular cocktails in America. Tequila, as a spirit, has become far and away the No. 1 spirit in America in terms of demand. We’ve seen double-digit growth since April. It’s continuing. It doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. This would be the time of year when you’d start to slowly see a shift into the brown spirits, at least into the next month. We don’t see that happening, at least based on the data. That’s really interesting. I’ve always known that tequila is something that’s very popular in America. It’s crazy to see that it’s taken this much of a boost from the fact that Covid has existed. I’m curious. What do you think is this reason for that? I think back to an episode of this podcast we did almost two months ago at this point, talking about what we expected to see in the summer. All of us were on board with the idea of some combination of fruit, blended drinks, and spirits like tequila, and I would’ve thought lighter rums would’ve been in this category in particular, things that people associate with summer and with escapism. So much of what we’re seeing in everything, is that most of us are house-bound or nearly house-bound. If we’re traveling, we’re traveling locally. We’re not getting on a plane and going to the Caribbean. We’re not getting on a plane and going to the Pacific Islands. We’re not going to Hawaii. All these things that people in our minds we associate with tropical, summary exoticism. It makes total sense to me that those things are booming. The other part of this is something we’ll see continue through all of these trends in some sense, is the Margarita at its core, a pretty easy drink to make. It’s pretty hard to mess up too badly. Even if you don’t get your ratios right, it’s a pretty forgiving cocktail. That’s a huge deal when you’ve got people who are suddenly facing their cocktail consumption being largely at home. I can’t say it surprises me when I think back on it, but I don’t know that I would’ve expected tequila and the Margarita to be the clear winner in this category.

A: Another point from the data is that we didn’t see rum start to grow until June. In those early months when tequila was still exploding, so April and May especially, rum was actually down year-over-year. Demand for rum started to grow in June. Now we’re seeing it up 15 percent year-over-year. It continues to expand. I think that will continue to grow as well, predictively. It is interesting that tequila came earlier and has sustained that growth longer and continues to see growth trends. You’re right. A lot of it has to do with escapism. For me, it also can’t just be about the beach. I, like you, think a lot of people do think of rum cocktails when it comes to the beach. I think that may also be reinforced when we discuss what we also thought about when we discussed frozen cocktails a few months ago, which is that they are difficult to make. They are intimidating to a lot of people. I’ve tried to make frozen cocktails a few times this summer, and I feel like every time I haven’t nailed it. I just want to be back at a bar where they have an actual slushy machine, and they can make it with the proper consistency, so that it’s still delicious. Sometimes my ice is too chunky. Sometimes it’s too watery. As you’ve said, the Margarita is a fairly simple cocktail to make. There’s a lot of variations. That’s what’s very interesting to people about the Margarita. It can be spicy. It can be heavier on the triple sec or the Cointreau. You can go super high and use Grand Marnier. You can add different fruits to it. You can have a Watermelon Margarita, a Peach Margarita, a Blueberry Margarita, or a Blackberry Margarita. There’s so much to it that I think that’s what’s allowed it to explode in the way that it has. I think there are certain recipes of the Margarita where the tequila is extremely important. A Tommy’s Margarita is one of those. That’s why I’ve been drawn to it so much over the last few months. There’s a little bit of agave. It’s really about the quality of the tequila and lime juice. That’s it. It’s much more in its pure form in the same way you can tell if it’s a good rum or a bad rum in a perfect Daiquiri. A lot of these Margaritas that we’re talking about, these super-spicy Margaritas, where you’re taking three jalapeños to the face, or some of these crazy blueberry-watermelon Margarita versions, the tequila doesn’t matter as much. There’s less intimidation of buying the right brands. There’s less pressure of buying the right brand or style. You just take the tequila on hand, find a recipe, and done. That’s what makes it so appealing to so many different people.

Z: There’s also this other factor going on. If you are at the grocery store, a liquor store, or shopping online, there’s this thing that happens with people where they see that they need to get liquor. Maybe they like vodka, gin, a brand of whiskey or a specific kind. Tequila is the kind of thing you see and you think, “Should we get a bottle of tequila?” Someone inevitably goes, “Well, I like Margaritas.” The reason that tequila has had that and rum hasn’t is that it doesn’t have the drink that immediately jumps out. I love a Daiquiri. In some ways I prefer a Daiquiri to a Margarita. I’m definitely not the average drinker. For me, I can think of a lot of applications for a bottle of rum. A Rum and Coke, that’s not something everyone wants to drink. As we’ve heard from lots of people we’ve had come on the podcast and talk about rum, that’s really not the optimal way to enjoy it. The question for people is, it’s harder to make that transition. Maybe what we’re seeing now is people have gotten more comfortable and interested in trying new things. Rum is the next logical stepping stone. That’s why it took until June and July for sales to pick up. Whereas tequila, you have the Margarita. If you ask people to name cocktails, it’s going to be one of the first ones that almost everyone names. That makes sense to me that that’s been where the average person has been comfortable branching out or continuing to buy.

A: Another point of data that has been really interesting to watch is what’s happened to Champagne. This is not just reflected in demand data. It’s also being reflected in sales data. Although, I think our demand data is showing that this isn’t going to be let up any time soon. Champagne continues to plummet. There’s very little demand whatsoever out there for Champagne. It’s depressing for a lot of people, especially people who work in that side of the business. It’s been hard on some companies that rely on Champagne for a good portion of their revenue. It’s sad that it doesn’t seem to be turning around any time soon, and it may not until the holidays. It just all depends on where we are as a country when it comes to Covid and whether we feel like celebrating at all this year or not.

Z: I was going to say, it may be Nov. 3 for some of us.

A: Oh, right! Exactly. Exactly. Although, I’m not going to make that mistake again this year because my wife still blames me. She says I jinxed the election.

Z: That makes sense. That’s definitely within your power.

A: I did get bottles of Champagne, and I had them ready to go. I was so excited that we were going to elect her, and it didn’t happen. My wife said we never should’ve had the Champagne. We got ahead of ourselves.

Z: Is Naomi a sports fan? Man, she sounds too much like me as a sports fan.

A: She said, “We should’ve done it. I knew we should’ve done it. We were so excited.” We looked at the polling data! Who knows if it’ll turn around? We’ve used a few theories before on the podcast. We talked about the lack of celebration. Do you think that’s really why it’s not turning around still? Is it just that people still don’t want to celebrate? At the end of the day, there are some decently affordable Champagnes, especially given a price point that people are still paying for other things that we still see them willing to pay for. Why is Champagne not rebounding at all?

Z: There’s a couple of reasons here. The first one I’m going to throw out is just making sh*t up. I apologize if I’m totally wrong. It’s just a hunch. One part of the challenge for Champagne, is that people are scared to open bottles of Champagne. The actually sparkling wine bottles. Maybe this isn’t backed up because they’re still going through the same amount of Prosecco, Cava, and all of that. There’s something a little intimidating about opening a sparkling wine bottle at home if you’re not used to doing it. It feels explosive, literally. That may be something that makes people uncomfortable, in a small enough way that when they’re at the store, and they’re deciding what they want to buy, or they’re about to check out online, they may go, “Well, maybe I don’t want that bottle of sparkling wine. I’ll buy a bottle of Cabernet instead, or two bottles of rosé. The other part to this comes back to the celebratory aspect. The other part is, you open a bottle of Champagne, and this is true for all sparkling wines, but I think that unless you have a sparkling wine stopper, it’s harder to re-cork. You can’t re-cork a bottle of Champagne with a Champagne cork. You have to put another cork in it, preferably an actual stopper that’s designed for sparkling wine to keep it around if you’re not going to drink it all. While you and I can probably go through a bottle of wine with our families, no problem, in a given evening, for a lot of people, that’s not what they’re doing on a weekday basis. Again, a sparkling wine bottle, especially an expensive sparkling wine bottle, like Champagne, feels like, “Am I really going to drink that?” It’s a wine that I want to share with eight other people, not a bottle I want to have by myself or with my significant other.

A: I do actually think as I’ve looked at this data, that it really is all tied to this amazing branding and marketing that Champagne has done over this last, you know, multi-decades century, that has connected it to being this premium brand that is for good times and celebrations. Prosecco is growing. I think this is an opportunity for Prosecco to get in front of people even more aggressively than it has before. Prosecco is a product that can be consumed on its own but it’s also a product that works really well in a lot of these refreshing summer cocktails that make you feel like you’re escaping. I do think that a lot of people don’t really associate Champagne with escape as much as some sort of monumental occurrence in their lives. I have memories of drinking a spritz in Italy. I have memories of having a glass of Prosecco sitting outside somewhere. I don’t really with Champagne. With Champagne, it’s always been because of an anniversary, or someone graduated from a doctoral program or masters program.

Z: Or you’re stuck going out with a bunch of sommeliers.

A: Well, I don’t do that very often. That doesn’t happen. Also, Champagne is expensive. The reason I brought that up is because there are a lot of sections of the wine business and the alcohol business in general that, even during Covid, are growing and doing fine. You look at the two sectors of wine that are still continuing to expand in the off-premise, and it’s wines that are $20 or $25, and wines that are $25 plus. Maybe some people would be willing to trade up once in a while for Champagne, but I think it really does boil down to the fact that you only trade up for that when it feels like the good times are rolling. Right now the good times really aren’t rolling. What would be the reason to open that wine? Besides, yes, you being out with sommeliers who are saying it’s the greatest wine ever to exist in the world and we should drink lots of it. Besides that, you’re really not seeing it. I’m sure that means that there are a lot of people getting really great deals on Champagne right now, or there’s probably allocations that used to exist that probably don’t right now. There’s just so much of it not being consumed. It’s very interesting. It’s one of these products that’s done such an amazing job of positioning itself in a way that should always be a strength. This is one of those times when we’ve never seen a global pandemic before. You just couldn’t plan for it. There’s no one that thinks that there’s good times happening. Maybe a few people, but not a lot.

Z: Definitely not here in the U.S. Maybe Champagne sales are doing OK in Europe at this point.

A: Right, exactly. Another thing that I think has been interesting to look at is the continued growth. You know what I’m going to say, of hard seltzer. It just isn’t stopping. I also find that to be really interesting. I have a few theories on that as well that I think are reinforced by things we’ve already seen. It’s propping up the entire beer category at this point. It’s hard seltzer’s growth that’s continuing to allow for a lot of these breweries to be OK in a Covid world. It’s crazy, and something I think no one thought was going to be possible a year ago. Even in the fall, people were saying, “This can’t last.” Our data showed that it was going to last, but you had a lot of people writing pieces in publications that are not ours saying, oh, it was going to die, be a phase, or go quiet in the winter. And it never did. I think that now there’s certain things happening in our world that are reinforcing why people are choosing seltzer instead of other things. I’m curious. Have you drunk any seltzer in quarantine? Or are you a seltzer person at all at this point?

Z: Not the hard seltzer. I just finished a can of LaCroix as we were recording here, as I muted my mic. For a lot of people, there’s just a lot of emphasis on comfort and on ease when it comes to alcohol at this time. Again, one of hard seltzer’s greatest strengths is that literally all you have to do is open the can and drink it. It’s something that you could drink at 2 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon. You can drink it at 9 o’clock on a Wednesday night. You can probably drink it on a Zoom all if you pour it into a glass. It looks like you’re having a regular seltzer.

A: Totally.

Z: It’s the anti-Champagne. It doesn’t have any one specific use case. You can drink it any time. For people shopping right now, that’s really important. I did an interview with Jake Kirsch, the guy who’s the VP of innovation at Anheuser-Busch.

A: Yeah, that was a good interview.

Z: Thank you! It ran last week. We were talking about a lot of things that his job involves. One of the things that he was talking about was that even more than before, they’re seeing a ton of demand for variety packs when it comes to hard seltzer. It’s no surprise. It’s the same thing with non-alcoholic seltzer. People want to be able to have things on hand that are really easy. You just have it on hand and pull it out of the fridge and pull it out a couple of hours later. It gives a few options. They’re super simple, predictable, and safe. For most of us, if we’re going to do drinking outdoors, whether it normally would have been at a restaurant or bar or patio, or in the outdoors more generally, that’s seltzer’s sweet spot, even if it does well year-round. It’s going to be in those outdoor settings. People are still hiking around here at least. This is the prime use case for this drink. People are definitely still trying to do those things as much as they can, when it’s permitted and where it’s possible. I’m not surprised. Is there anything in the data you find that’s surprising?

A: Not surprising. I’m not surprised that seltzer is surging. I think there’s other reasons besides the ones you mentioned, which are good and valid. It’s also worth mentioning that the variety pack seltzer is the No. 1 SKU for almost every seltzer producer, which most people wouldn’t realize. It’s interesting that most consumers aren’t going out and saying, “Oh, I love Black Cherry, and I want a full Black Cherry pack.” Most people want that variety, which is really interesting. I actually think a lot of it has to do with calories. The people that I’ve talked to that have become really avid seltzer drinkers, and it almost always comes down to calories, especially in Covid, where a lot of us are less active than we used to be. For me, my daily commute was walking a little over a half mile to get to a subway to get on, then walking a little over a half mile from that subway stop to my office was a mile walk in the morning, a mile walk home. I usually ran errands. I was probably walking two-and-a-half or three miles every day, just getting to work and doing stuff. I was carrying bags. Other people were running more. You also have a lot of people in certain places of the country, especially where mask-wearing is mandatory as it should be, who aren’t running as much because they don’t want to wear a mask when they run. It’s uncomfortable. Then you’re watching increases for these apps like Peloton, and people bring that into their home, thinking about trying to exercise in whatever way they can. People are drinking more regularly. They’re not just drinking two nights a week, or four nights a weeks, they’re drinking seven nights a week. Some of those nights, people are wanting to watch the calories going into their bodies. People are going for hard seltzer instead. I do think that’s playing a huge part in a lot of people’s decision to look at that. Again, it’s one of these benefits that seltzer always knew that that was going to be one of its sort of key selling factors when it came on the market, was this calorie count. Again, a benefit that they’re now seeing, it’s why they’re selling more than a lot of other products. It’s very clear that it is this low-calorie product that gets you just buzzed enough to take the edge off, but not too buzzed. It doesn’t make you feel as guilty as if you pounded a double IPA, or finished a bottle of wine. It doesn’t make you feel that way in a lot of ways. People are really paying attention to it, which is interesting. You’re going to see more. Watch. You’re going to see a lot more calorie-conscious drinks products come out in the next year or so because this is proving a huge point, that a lot of this country cares about that.

Z: As you pointed out, that was the case even pre-Covid. Now, for so many of us with our routines around fitness, around dining and eating, all of those things being so disrupted, it’s definitely the case that that’s something that’s higher on everyone’s mind, or more everyone’s mind. Given what the scale said this morning, I might need to start incorporating some of this hard seltzer.

A: Think about it! Even if you don’t live in a place where you walk to work like we do here in New York, you probably had a gym routine or something that’s been completely changed because most gyms are closed.

Z: I used to spend my work nights on the floor or a restaurant walking around. I definitely have noticed the lack of that amount of activity affecting my health in various ways.

A: This is our last data point for the conversation. That’s why I think it’s really exploded, on top of all the other things. It’s tasty, there’s a variety there. It speaks of summer and being outdoors. It’s easy. You can hide it during Zoom calls. All of that. I really think that this idea of health when all of us are also making sourdough bread is why people are really embracing it the way they have. Well, Zach, this has been really interesting again. I think in three months we can revisit this. With Erica back from vacation we can visit some other data points. If this is data that’s interesting to you, feel free to email us at [email protected] or [email protected] if you’re really interested in the data and getting more access to it. There’s a lot of stuff that we’re seeing that’s really instructive as to what people could be doing to take advantage of a market that’s very volatile at this point in time.

Z: Absolutely.

A: Alright, man! I will talk to you next week when Erica is back. Until then, be well. Have a great weekend. For those listening to this on Monday, I hope you had a great weekend. We will see you again next week!

Z: Sounds great.

A: Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now for the credits: Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy, and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week. The VinePair Podcast this week was sponsored by Goslings Rum. A secret blend of three different distillates, each aged separately in once-used, charred oak bourbon barrels, Goslings is the key ingredient for Bermuda’s national drink, the Dark ‘n Stormy. Originally offered in Champagne bottles sealed with black wax, from whence comes its name, this deep, dark rum still possesses the same, smooth, rich, intricate flavor as the original recipe from the 1850s. It’s still slowly aged in small batches, and Black Seal Rum was awarded the highest honor, the Platinum Medal, from the Beverage Tastings Institute. For a limited time, you can use code VinePair at checkout on Reservebar.com for $15 off your Goslings rum order.

Ed. note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: What VinePair’s Data Says About Current Drinks Trends appeared first on VinePair.

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isaiahrippinus · 4 years

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VinePair Podcast: What VinePair’s Data Says About Current Drinks Trends

Or maybe you’ve heard that Champagne is taking a beating right now. Is there any hope for the iconic wine region and its eponymous bubbly? Tune in for answers to these questions and more.

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Or Check Out Our Conversation Here

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Zach: In Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

Z: Spoiler alert for upcoming episodes, it’s good that they no longer need to use empty Champagne bottles because there’s a lack of them on the market right now.

Z: Oh, man. I might need one too after this podcast.

A: Zach, Erica is out on vacation this week. So, it is just you and me, like old times.

Z: Oh my gosh. Vacation? What is that? I forget.

A: I know. She went to a home that she’s rented in previous years in the Catskills, which is a very lovely place in upstate New York, so she’s having a good time.

Z: I’m pretty sure she’s not missing us at all if her Instagram feed is to be believed.

A: Exactly. It looks like she’s had some nice meals. She saw bear cubs. She’s had a good time.

A: In the U.S.? I was hoping you’d ask that. If you said the world it would be hard. Geez.

Z: I mean right now. Not any time of year.

A: Are restaurants open or not?

Z: Oof.

A: Is that area of the Oregon coast, it is “Goonies” land, like we discussed with Dan?

Z: Not far from there.

Z: Oh!

A: It’s really cool. It’s right in the center of town. It’s in an actual food hall. It’s the oldest and longest operating market in the country.

Z: Interesting.

Z: I’m just fond of Lancaster, Pa., because that’s where I was from on my fake Pennsylvania ID that I used in college.

A: That’s hilarious.

Z: I don’t remember my exact address. For years I had it memorized, in case someone asked. Yes, I was from Lancaster, PA, according to my ID.

Z: It’s like back to the really old days, before Erica came in with all her facts and sourced data. We just talked about whatever we wanted to. This is just us shooting the sh*t. I like it.

Z: I was going to say, it may be Nov. 3 for some of us.

A: Oh, right! Exactly. Exactly. Although, I’m not going to make that mistake again this year because my wife still blames me. She says I jinxed the election.

Z: That makes sense. That’s definitely within your power.

Z: Is Naomi a sports fan? Man, she sounds too much like me as a sports fan.

Z: Or you’re stuck going out with a bunch of sommeliers.

Z: Definitely not here in the U.S. Maybe Champagne sales are doing OK in Europe at this point.

A: Totally.

A: Yeah, that was a good interview.

Z: I used to spend my work nights on the floor or a restaurant walking around. I definitely have noticed the lack of that amount of activity affecting my health in various ways.

Z: Absolutely.

Z: Sounds great.

Ed. note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: What VinePair’s Data Says About Current Drinks Trends appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/vinepair-data-current-drinks-trends/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/624265996179472384

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