#lookin at you mipha

[brainlessbaguette]

Linktober Day 29, Aquatic/Water

Sometimes I forget about how dark Twilight Princess actually gets. And then I remember their Zoras, where the very pretty queen was murdered to send a political message, all of the people in the domain were turned into one big ice cube, the pretty queen's son passes out from a lack of water miles away from his home, all while the Zora at lake Hylia are stranded downstream panicking over the decreasing water level. Thats some Game of Thrones level of dark drama in a children's game. I love it.

#Look Im just saying Twilight Princess would make an absolute banger of a movie or show #The gameplay was lackluster but that story was so good #Itd be perfect #Not the manga tho #It was good but I am specifically talking about the game because they are not the same #the legend of zelda #loz #zelda #linktober #twilight princess #tp #zora #queen rutela #rutela #if I had a nickel for everytime nintendo made a hot royal zora lady that they very sadly killed off screen #lookin at you mipha #theyre both so pretty and have just the saddest of deaths #IN A KIDS GAME #prince ralis #ralis

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Yang: *Dressed as TOTK Link* It's Kind of weird to have a costume party in january, but it should be fun!

Weiss: *Dressed as Zelda* I agree.

Jaune: *Dressed as BOTW Link, raising hand* Hey Yang! Lookin' good!

Yang: *Takes Jaune's hand* Well, Great minds think alike, Huh Vomit boy?

Pyrrha: Yes, well I'd say you look fantastic Ya- *sees Weiss*

Weiss: *Sees Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: I thought your two would go in a couples costume?

Weiss: We Did. Link and Zelda's relationship was all but confirmed!

Pyrrha: "All but Confirmed" While Mipha's Feelings Were clear and obvious-

Weiss: Yet more people shipped her brother with Link!

Yang: *Oblivious to the fighting* You grew your hair out! It looks nice!

Jaune: *Also Oblivious*Yep! I've always liked it a little longer, but mom said "It's not presentable"

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #pyrrha nikos #rwby shitpost #arkos #freezerburn #Pyrrha and Weiss take their shipping VERY seriously

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Could you imagine a scenario where pre-calamity champions don’t know about link and mipha being engaged? so they confront them separately telling them they’re so obvious and they don’t know how the other hasn’t figured it out and they try to give them advice on how to tell the others they love them and link and mipha are just standing there like: 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

LOL YES

Link felt a strange sensation, like something was hovering over him. Stretching under the blanket, he slowly blinked his eyes open as sleepiness tried to drag him back under again.

Daruk was standing over him.

Jumping, startled out of his mind, Link scrambled for his sword, wondering if something was wrong. Before he could get very far, Daruk let out one of his earth shaking belly laughs. “Link! Glad to see you awake, brother. We need to talk about something important.”

Link stared at him, half sitting up perched on his arms.

Leaning in as if this were a secret of national importance, Daruk whispered, “You see, I’ve noticed how you’ve been lookin’ at the princess and I just can’t stand by for it anymore!”

“Exactly,” another voice chimed in, and, to his horror, Link noticed Urbosa in the background leaning against a wall, her arms crossed.

Link tried to figure out what in the world was going on. The princess? What looks had he been giving Zelda?? He hadn’t said a word in front of these two in ages, he tried to be as neutral as possible, he wasn’t sure how he had managed to mess this up despite his immense efforts—

“It’s obvious you’ve got feelings for Mipha!” Daruk suddenly said. “You gotta tell her, brother!”

Link blinked. Then he blinked again.

Wait, what? This was about Mipha?

Oh goddess it was obvious??

Wait a second. Daruk had said Link needed to tell her.

So they didn’t know how far it was. That was something.

But now…

“She clearly has feelings for you,” Urbosa chimed in. “You shouldn’t leave her hanging like this. You should be direct with your feelings.”

“Well yes, but like in a nice way,” Daruk added with a gigantic smile. “Take her out for a rock roast! Then tell her how you feel!”

Link’s brain was steadily frying more as he tried to figure out how the heck to get out of this situation.

Straight up saying we’re engaged and have to keep it a secret was probably not the way to go.

Goddess. He couldn’t believe they’d been that obvious. He thought they’d been hiding it pretty well.

But what was probably the most baffling was that Daruk and Urbosa were encouraging it. It would have been almost sweet and reassuring were it not for the complicated Zora and Hylian politics involved. Of course it was the two who did not belong to either party who were fine with it.

Link didn’t even want to think about what would happen if Revali of all people noticed. That champion would probably delight in telling the entire world just to watch Link fall.

So Link sat there, frozen in anxiety and embarrassment, wondering what in the world he should do.

“I’ll even help you out!” Daruk continued, clapping Link on the shoulder. “I got a reservation at the hot spring just for you two! I’ll have rock roast brought to ya!”

“I’ll tell Mipha,” Urbosa added, pushing off the wall and slathering some more elixir on her skin. The volcanic climate was horrific for all but one of them after all. “She needs to be in the water, anyway.”

Daruk rolled away in delight, leaving the Hylian champion and the Gerudo chief, and she walked towards him with a sharp eye and a soft smile.

“Relax, I’ll make sure something edible is available,” she said. “But I don’t coddle warriors. You must tell her how you feel and end this roundabout game of glances and blushes. It’s childish.”

Link shriveled under her gaze and felt a fire in his belly as defiance pushed him once more, but then he settled when she laid a hand on his head.

“Good luck tonight, little champion,” she said kindly, winking and leaving the room.

Link sat there for a second, processing everything, and then sighed heavily, collapsing into his bed once more.

XXX

Mipha had been hiding indoors to stave off the heat as much as possible. She knew she shouldn’t have come to Death Mountain, but she’d wanted to spend time with her friends and with Link. They hadn’t seen each other in months.

What she hadn’t expected was Urbosa immediately cornering her with a sly smile.

“All right, princess,” she started off, her tone firm despite her clear amusement. “This game has gone on long enough. It’s time I teach you the proud way of Gerudo seduction.”

Mipha choked on her spit. “T-the what?”

“Your feelings for Link couldn’t be more apparent,” Urbosa remarked. “The only moron who hasn’t noticed is Link himself. We need to remedy that.”

Mipha tried to stammer a reply, but Urbosa cut her off.

“What you need is confidence,” Urbosa instructed. “There isn’t a single Gerudo woman out there who didn’t win her mate by asserting herself. Respect the voe but do not cower around him. You are the one who must lead the relationship. Tell him you’re taking him to dinner. Tell him how you feel. Then demand his response.”

Mipha felt her face grow steadily redder as Urbosa spoke. Her words were overwhelming even with her engagement to Link, she’d probably have died of this were before they’d sworn to be together.

“U-um,” Mipha stammered. “I—we—”

Part of her wanted to tell Urbosa that she had taken the first step, that she’d presented the armor to Link. She wanted to see the Gerudo champion’s proud smile. But she was too scared, there was too much secrecy in their relationship. So she said, “W-well I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve been thinking about him for almost a year,” Urbosa noted. “It’s time to act, Mipha. And I have just the place in mind.”

Mipha sighed.

XXX

Revali stood in the distance as he watched Daruk push the Hylian champion and Urbosa give Mipha a pep talk. Both recipients were spluttering and trying to dig their heels in, but neither had the gall to stand up to their friends.

Not that it mattered anyway. Revali hadn’t been asked to get involved and he was grateful for it. But he was involved anyway.

After all, he’d seen them. He’d seen them when they were closer to Zora’s Domain, where they’d joined up with Mipha. He’d seen the pair swimming as he’d flown overhead unnoticed. He’d seen them kiss, almost with enough passion to make him blush.

Everyone figured Revali would rather sabotage the relationship than get involved, so no one had asked for his help. But the Rito Champion knew more than all of them combined.

Stupid Hylian, dragging me into his mess, he grumbled internally. For Mipha’s sake, he wouldn’t say anything. But the lonely ache in his chest as he watched the champions conspire, as he watched Link and Mipha’s eyes sparkle when they saw each other… well, it left him irritable, to say the least.

Huffing, the Rito took flight, heading south of the mountain to for a relief from the heat and ridiculousness of the situation.

#you ask skye answers #HOW did this get so long LOL #I might have to post this on AO3 hahaha #Anon this was a hilarious idea I had to write something 🤣 #lovely anon #writing #miphlink #breath of the wild #botw link #aoc link #age of calamity #breath of the wild link #age of calamity link #could be either of them honestly #mipha

[cupcakegal25]

so i beat totk

and holy fucking SHIT it was good!!!!! i actually kept a record of my thoughts as i played it, so i'm gonna be posting that now just for funsies. major major MAJOR spoilers under the cut!!!!!!

RAURU OCARINA OF TIME??!?!?!?

why do i have to do the wholeass tutorial with no shirt. completely tits out

purah :eye: :eye:

love my horsies

2 eponas [accidentally summoned epona before linking stable accounts]

damn we were right about the time travel [dragon tear 1]

TEBA THE ELDER?!??!?!?!????!

the flying ship is vah medoh idiots /hj

revali’s gale 2 electric boogaloo [tulin's tornado]

damn is this what it would be like to fight the blights with the champions because if so :sob: :sob: :sob:

if revali finds out about this his impostor syndrome will only get worse istg

SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES

SAGE OF TIME ZELDA MY FUCKGINH BELOFVED

what were the original sages named please

HOLY FUCKING BINGLE PHANTOM TULIN

ring :o

frozen lookin ass cutscene

REVALI’S LANDING (this is your fault hope)

great eagle bow……

did link just give the champion’s weapons back goddamn

VOW OF TULIN SAGE OF WIND <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

is sidon gonna have to sneak out to help me with this /hj

zelda has parents now love that for her <3 [rauru and sonia]

i was heading for gerudo town and now i’m in kakariko i do not know how this happened please send help

CHIEF PAYA???!?!?!??!??!??!?

made it to zora’s domain on accident. welp

WHERE DID MIPHA G O GET MY GIRL B A C K HERE [sidon statue]

WHO THE FUCK IS SIDON GETTING MARRIED TO WHAT

i would like to give sidon a hug please and thank you

WATER MANIPULATION SIDON GO AWOOGA

KING SIDON KING SIDON KING SIDON [dorephan and muzu]

sidon trauma arc [mipha come home :(]

ma’am i knew mipha [he doesn’t want to lose anyone else]

THERE SHE IS THERE’S MY GIRL [mipha]

sidon sage of water please? please nintendo? please sidon sage of water?

oh god oh fuck SIDON LOOK OUT [sludge like]

what the FUCK is up with the gravity here what the hell

oh god oh fuck water temple (i kinda figured this was coming but still)

CHAMPION PICTURE IN MY H O U S E THANK YOU KASS

link and zelda roommates :)

mucktorok is dancin

wtf is that a shark?

holy shit that’s like a zant looking death [mucktorok]

thank you sidon for my life [water shield]

wait that mask looks like vah ruta. wait

ma’am mipha is right there [my kin etc]

secret stone is kinda a dumb name i think

that’s LITERALLY the lightscale trident MA’AM [sage of water’s weapon]

i still love sage of time zelda. btw

dear god i NEED to know these people’s names this is becoming SUCH a problem

gonna take a detour to look for the dragon’s tears i think

sidon sage of water!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

i fucking adore him so so so much i love him SO much

another disney lookin ass cutscene but not as pronounced

KING SIDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m so proud of my boy

vow of sidon sage of water………

i love dorephan’s hat it looks silly

well guess i’m doing the gerudo quest last cause here i am in goron city

probably for the best given. history (thunderblight) (riju I’m sorry)

yunobo what the FUCK are you doing

i’m sorry i hate this outfit also what the hell

god daruk would be so upset :(

well this seems. bad [yunobo being mean]

oh yeah that’s really not good

CLEARLY NOT HIMSELF JHGKLASJGLKJAG [boss subtitle]

goodbye ugly mask!

did she just trap us in the cave with this stupid fucking rock [zelda and marbled rock roast]

oh it’s not just daruk's protection again that’s interesting! [yunobo’s charge]

yeah i one million percent guarantee that that isn’t zelda

what the FUCK am i looking at

moragia??? alright

god that was HARD to control what the fuck [wing]

holy shit the atmosphere in here is INCREDIBLE [death mountain crater]

damn is this dungeon going to be underground instead of in the sky? swag

woah the fire temple is the gorondia that i’ve heard about in side quests? pog

oh this is really interesting! big spirit tracks vibes [mine carts]

three whole boss fights in this section wow [yunobo, moragia, marbled gohma]

GOHMA?!?!??!???!??!?!??!

there she goes! why was the second phase easier than the first though that’s my main question

alright so the masks on the sages are definitely the divine beasts

i should wear my vah naboris mask for the last one lmao

yunobo is confused. dw bro i have played many games in this series and also seen two other cutscenes nearly identical to this

wait are the vas the same for the sages and their descendants and thus the champions. wait

well not the sage of water but that just supports my argument more i think. mipha voice actress real?

how did zelda fucking GET here how many fucking fireproof elixirs did she need to USE [fire temple]

elixir wears off as the sage is doing his little speech and zelda bursts into flames lmfao

hi it’s me, the swordsman link. nice to meet you [gorons will help swordsman named link]

daruk would be so proud of yunobo and mipha would be so proud of sidon and i guarantee urbosa would be so proud of riju (i haven’t gotten there yet) but revali would just be really jealous of tulin LMAO

yay sage of fire yunobo!!!!!!!!!! i like daruk better i’m sorry

AW FISTBUMB THAT’S SO CUTE FUCK YEAH

i know it’s just the secret stone but yunobo fucking looks like he’s on fire gkhlsakgjlagk [giving the vow]

wait this is on my thumb? that’s gonna leave a finger leftover what the hell [rings/vows]

i’m gonna like recruit riju and then all of us are going to storm hyrule castle together somehow LMAO

oh shit the rock roast was made of gloom? that makes sense actually

i love the gorons :D

BLUDO NO YOU’RE GOING TO THROW YOUR BACK OUT AGAIN [yunobo’s apology]

vow of yunobo sage of fire :D

actually fucking going to gerudo town know istg

slightly untrue actually i’m going to make a detour to activate the last three towers but two of them are on the way so it’s probably fine [forest, gerudo, wasteland]

rauru knows ganondorf is evil and is keeping him close to keep an eye on him so he’s already many many steps ahead of the oot king

also did no one notice how ganondorf was commanding the moldugas in the last cutscene. what

alright made it to kara kara bazaar! how the FUCK am i supposed to get to gerudo town though

also thank fucking god they put a shrine here i Need it

these guys think they’re gonna be liked enough to be allowed into gerudo town. They Won’t

okay thank you tulin for helping me get here i still have no idea where i’m going but i can work with it thank you

OH FUCK GIBDOS. TERRIFYING

going to avoid fighting those at all costs i think! Yikes:tm:

made it to gerudo town after many many detours! hooray!

wait hold on where IS everyone

THERE’S A GIBDO IN THE TOWN

okay made it to a. guard. this makes sense

alright so there’s people behind this wall but i cannot get in i am not allowed

where’s the dialogue option to tell this guard i’m nonbinary /hj

i have broken into the sanctuary and i think i’m gonna die

BULIARA DEFENDS ME???? AIGHT

okay heading out to find riju my beloved <3

PATRICIA!!!!!!!!!!

oh she grew up so pretty i’m so proud of her

yay she did it yay!

oh god that’s viscerally horrifying jesus christ [gibdo swarming kara kara bazaar]

oh that’s AWFUL i HATE the way they spawned

we did it yay!!!

that’s probably not actually zelda lbr

alright I’m back i was busy cooking

sage riju let’s fucking goooooo

just realized this is a new ganondorf (unless this takes place after fsa) absolutely wild we have had three of them and like ~20 links and zeldas

okay i’m as prepared as i can be i think let’s go

terrible horrible fucked up i hate it [gibdos]

oh god oh fuck oh shit she’s so COOL [riju]

alright i was terrible at that! fantastic [defending gerudo town]

whatever at least i won

ooh mural? let’s take a look

just realized i completely forgot about akkala lemme activate that tower

alright got sidetracked into doing a thing for josha. fought a frox. terrifying shit

but i made it here to the great abandoned central mine

why are there people here

oh that bitch is DEFINITELY a yiga

okay that’s an interesting new power [autobuild]

don’t wanna do this for them but here goes

alright, who’s the “master”

MASTER KOHGA??????

oh my god he fell into a pit maybe he’s been alive this WHOLE TIME

I WAS RIGHT

i cannot fucking believe this shit i’m so happy about it

great twist actually i deadass wasn’t expecting it

oh i love that so much

man are you planning on ripping my arm off. probably yes actually

alright boss time!

done! god that was so fun

i hope there aren’t any more misunderstandings in regards to his death though that would suck *cough @ofstormsandfire's absolutely fantastic fic no one ever mentions fear cough*

HGKLSAJGLKASG JUST FLIES OFF THAT’S SO FUNNY

alright that was a great detour and i am very happy i did it

back to josha!

i. completely forgot about faron. just a minute

climbed up totori rock. mistakes were made

back to riju. that puzzle was way too fuckin annoying [red pillar riddle]

ooh temple on the ground?

lightning temple… interesting. wasn’t sure if it would be lightning temple or thunder temple (maybe like sand or desert but i didn’t think so cause that didn’t seem like it would be a fitting sage title for riju)

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT [queen gibdo]

am i just going straight into the boss fight??? no dungeon??? what the hell

ohhhhh it retreated. so i do still have a dungeon!

finally made it into this fucking place!

five bucks says this place is the token creepy dungeon. should’ve made that bet earlier tbh

oh that voice sounds JUST like urbosa holy shit

i like how the rooms in this place have like. names and stuff

alright boss time!

OH GOD THAT DID SO MUCH DAMAGE [queen gibdo]

holy shit this is gonna be a ROUGH one

FINALLY that took me 30 goddamn minutes

just realized i forgot to put on the vah naboris mask. oh well

ooh pretty earring

so the only ring missing is my middle finger. sure wonder why that is /s

oh man am i finally gonna be allowed in gerudo town without crossdressing? swag!

vow of riju sage of lightning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, let’s go talk to purah. after we check in with her i’ll probably go looking for the rest of the memories

why is there a blood moon in the middle of the day. that seems really bad

okay time for dragon tears!

SONIA NO [sonia gets stabbed]

god that’s gotta be AWFUL for zelda since now she’s lost 3 separate moms :( [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia]

oh god he looks damn near identical to demise [secret stone ganondorf]

oh fuck lynels look so terrifying now i hope i never ever have to fight one

thank you zelda for having braincells and leaving

rauru going to his death a better father than rhoam EVER was [zelda telling rauru about dehydrated ganondorf]

FI!!!! [fi chiming]

zelda??? zelda honey??? what are you doing?????  [dragon tear 11]

zelda??? Is that you??? [light dragon]

ZELDA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [dragon tear 12]

god fuck I’m actually crying

heading to korok forest. i fucking hate this

oh jeez what’s up with the koroks? what’s up with the DEKU TREE?

FUCK GLOOM HANDS

i do not know how i killed them honestly

what the fuck PHANTOM GANON

okay that’s cool as fuck thank you totk for bringing back multiple great characters/enemies

alright i’ve got the master sword and i’m sobbing my eyes out thanks nintendo!

fucked around for a SUBSTANTIAL period of time i’m going to finally do the hyrule castle thing now i think

WHOEVER THAT IS SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH I KNOW BETTER YOU AREN’T MY GIRL [zelda voice]

i hate this so much i hate this soooo much stop looking like my girl and summoning monsters and let me fucking kill you please god

yknow this cutscene would probably hit different if i didn’t already do the dragon’s tears [sanctum cutscene]

alright i died to the first hit which is just excellent

FRIENDS! :D [sages showing up]

yknow if nothing else at least he didn’t make me fight a lynel

i love how tulin is just sitting on yunobo’s back after ganon’s thing. btw

oh, the champion’s tunic! thank you zelda i love you zelda

okay i love the conversation with harth and tulin. hope you were right about the polycule goddamn

i just noticed: link is BARELY taller than tulin holy fucking bingle

missing sage? :o

i bet it’s paya. i hope it is at least that would be cool i think

MINERU???? [voice]

oh god I’m in the ground MINERU WHY

MINERU!!!!

sage of spirit mineru pog!!!!!!

i was CONVINCED whoever it was would be the sage of shadow ngl but this works!

i have built a robot. this is apparently mineru now. i’m down for it tbh

she lost her secret stone? oh fuck that’s not good

I CAN RIDE AND DRIVE MINERU???? FUCK YEAH

oh what the FUCK is that [seized construct]

is there a dungeon here or just a boss fight? hold up

oh my GOD it takes NO DAMAGE i HATE that

wait fuck i slammed it into the fence that works thank fucking god

okay i stun locked it into the second phase which is excellent

done! that gives me big koloktos vibes actually i really like that

also really really helpful that i didn’t have to rely on my battery charge things during the fight i would’ve been FUCKED

MINERU WAS IN THE PURAH PAD????? THE WHOLEASS TIME???? SINCE MILLIONS OR WHATEVER YEARS AGO WHEN ZELDA SHOWED UP?????? i'm shook

actually the more i think about it the more her being the sage of spirit makes sense since she can like separate her soul from her body or whatever i'm pretty sure

there’s the last ring there’s the middle finger!

i do think that should've been riju though for. reasons

ma’am i swear to god if you tell me what i ALREADY KNOW about what happened to zelda

goddammit she is telling me that isn’t she

she’s the older sister? makes sense actually the vibes track

oh she’s explaining the murals from below the castle at the very very beginning! funky fresh

oh geez this is how he got dehydrated! or at least the start of it i guess

yeah, mineru, I KNOW WHAT SHE DID

MINERU WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN WHY DID YOU LET HER DO THAT

god like i understand that you’re dying and there was no other choice but FUCK this hurts

vow of mineru sage of spirit……. fuck

purah please i KNOW you’re smarter than this you GOTTA put the pieces together so i don’t suffer this knowledge alone i fuckin REFUSE

well there she goes but no fucking reaction makes it worse, thanks

oh god oh fuck oh no LYNEL

i am ZOOMING past that fight holy shit

OH NO I ASCENDED INTO THE LYNEL ROOM FUCK

“the power of the sages cannot reach you” thanks! i hate it!

fuck. back here again. game’s almost over huh [zonai mural room]

oh the last three murals….. fuck [sages v ganondorf, zelda and master sword, light dragon]

the fUCKING TORCH ON THE GROUND THAT’S ZELDA’S FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

alright. let’s end this

FRIENDS! SAGES!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

okay i died pretty fast there so i left, made a bunch of food, used most of my sundelions, and i’m back to try again

alright that went much better! or at least the first half did i guess there’s lizalfos now

ah fuck gibdos

aaaaand moblins. please let this be everything

alright! i did it!

ah fuck bosses. hate that a lot thanks

nevermind! hate that more! [separated from friends]

fuckin. did you really need to seal me in. bitch

eyyyyy there he is! he’s rehydrated!

HE CAN PERFECT DODGE???? GODDAMN

alright. one health bar down. no way it’s the last one

OH GOD OH FUCK SECRET STONE

WHAT THE FUCK KINDA HEALTH BAR IS THAT IT GOES OFF THE S C R E E N

SAGES :D

okay the health bar doesn’t go off the screen but still THIS FEELS EXCESSIVE

just saw tulin soar past me teba and saki are GOING to have my head

don’t fuckin crook your fingers at me like that

y’know if nothing else i’m getting really good at perfect dodges

HE CAN DODGE MY FLURRY RUSHES NOW???? bullshit. unfair

back to ganondorf, i left to get a fuckload of sundelions make a bunch of sunny dishes

first phase done. that went really well, actually

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I PULL THAT OFF I JUST BACKED HIM INTO A CORNER AND I HAD ONE HEART AND BARELY ANY SHIELD LEFT WHAT THE HELL

oh my god is he doing what i think he’s doing

VENGEANCE FOR ZELDA. FUCK YEAH

oh that’s terrible i hate the eyes

that’s literally the calamity [demon dragon]

who?? called my name??? who was that???

also how the hell am i supposed to kill an immortal dragon or whatever

i am looking at the calamity right now istg [demon dragon]

okay nevermind that’s a dragon but STILL

demon dragon…. kinda slaps

oh i’m stuck in his jaws i’m DOOMED

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK DAD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL NOW FUCK YOU

oh thank GOD i have my hearts back

i see a couple big fucked up eyes that’s probably the weak points

thank you zelda love you zelda :) [she catch me]

damn this is gonna go pretty easy it feels like like i’m not gonna jinx it but this is going really well so far

i fuckin fell off

zelda sweetie i think you caught me wrong for a sec i almost fell off the side

FUCK UP THAT SECRET STONE LINK HELL YEAH

there he goes! probably hopefully idk for sure

i don’t feel so good mr. stark -ganondorf probably idk i've never watched marvel [death]

destroy ganondorf, complete……

glowy hand?

i am in the void. with the zelda

my glowy hand is goin towards her

oh! rauru and sonia! hi!

wait is this zelda and sonia’s time power. wait

are we bringing her back?!?!?!??! like i didn’t think nintendo would leave her like that forever but still please please please

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my beloved baby girl she’s BACK

my shirt is off and my hat is off but i’m still wearing the royal guard pants. weird

bye sonia!!! bye rauru!!!

question. how are we gonna get to the ground

ZELDA NO!

dive to zelda… i love that actually

I CAUGHT HER THIS TIME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

if that is the last gameplay in the game i would be so happy with that actually. the last thing i do is a parallel to the first thing i couldn’t

zelda :D fi :D

WAAAAAA I LOVE HER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am going to give her a hug. where’s the hug button nintendo

nintendo that’s nice that she felt like she got a hug but i want to hug her

SHE’S HOME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

find princess zelda complete!!!!!!!

oh! post-credits scene!

me and zelda and sages and purah! :D

oh… bye mineru…. ilu….

i can’t believe zelda lost 6 separate moms (gender-neutral) over just 2 games (sorry) [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia, mineru, rauru, daruk]

oh that’s so CUTE thank you sages

the end :D

#nadias noises #loz #totk #totk spoilers #totk thoughts

[talktodaruk]

WELCOME TO DEATH MOUNTAIN!!!

Eye you made it a long way Champ! Proud of you!

D'ya wanna rock roast? My buddy Link eats them up all the time!

If ya need help around go ahead and ask! Any brother would be willin' to help ya! We don't wantcha fallin' into the lava hahaha!

Are ya looking for anythin' in particular up 'ere? Or are ya just exploring?

If ya're lookin' for Mipha ya can find her at @talktoprincessmipha!

Ah! Are ya lookin' for Urbosa? Ya can find her down at the oasis or at @talktourbosa, she's a nice one! Looks like she could bitecha in half but pretty nice! Unless ya're Yiga.....

Revali? Ya can find 'em up at @talktorevali, he's a pretty good guy. Little thick in the head yeah but a good guy!

If ya don't feel like making the climb up ya can always drop a letter! I visit the box from time ta time so I'll be sure to answer as soon as I can!

Be safe out there brother /gn!

*gn means gender neutral, it's a term used among the Gorons often*

#daruk talks #champion daruk #botw daruk #revali #urbosa #mipha #link #loz #legend of zelda #botw #loz aoc

[aliteraltrashgay]

So I started Age of Calamity (spoilers btw), and can I just say? Main antagonist? Deadass looks goofy. I laughed when I saw his face. BotW was a visual masterpiece with enough interesting stuff that after playing for 9 months consistently I was done. I roll up to AoC, and THIS doofy ass mf is the big bad

I was expecting the same visuals of Calamity Ganon. Like I understand LoZ is a goofy game most of the time, but you cannot have young Impa, Urbosa, and Mipha one second then this college dropout lookin ass who can't blend his contor. U just can't

#rant post #legend of zelda #age of calamity #aoc spoilers #aoc astor #Idk if this is a hot take but I had to say it #He looks like the emo teen in children's cartoons #like dude

[anony-mouse-cartoon]

You're fabulous

Oh, I'm fabulous

#he do be lookin fabulous tho #botw #botw link #mipha #daruk #urbosa #revali #what do you mean its not cannon?

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

We all know that Kogha’s nickname for Mipha is Little Red, but when did he first start calling her that? Can we get that story?

Suppose we can get a lil snippet?

"You know, I didn't expect a peach like you to be working with such royal bums."

Kohga spoke so casually to Mipha, as if everyone, princess included, weren't there as well, trekking behind him and on the road for some reason or another.

"I mean, I am a royal myself-"

"Bah, Zora don't count. My point is, you're a doll. And, because you're better than this sad bunch, and my newly appointed best friend, you need a new name."

"...pardon?"

"You know, something only I can call you. I mean 'Mipha' is great, but really how special IS that?"

Revali groaned from behind them, trying in vain to cover his ears.

"Will you two just make friendship bracelets and stop this prattle? She heals you once and suddenly you're at the hip!"

"One, shut up. Two, I need the names FOR the bracelets, bird brain. Three, shut up. Four, you're just jealous that she CLEARLY likes me more!"

Urbosa had to stand in between them as they walked, in order to stop yet another scuffle between them both. Mipha tapped her little chin in thought. She didn't expect the master of the Yiga clan to be so...friendly, but it was rather sweet, how he wanted to solidify their newfound friendship.

"I suppose a nickname wouldn't hurt, so long as it's tasteful."

"How about 'cherry'?"

"Not...that kinda tasteful."

Kohga grumbled a bit to himself, before he snapped his fingers.

"Rock man, get over here!"

Daruk was there in an instant, clearly eager to be included.

"What is it?"

"What nickname do you have for Mipha, again?"

"I mean, sometimes I call her little fish, if anything, but-"

"Definitely gotta be little. Little...something. Little-"

He was cut off when Link suddenly pushed her to the side, avoiding a rather large tree branch. Link nodded down at her, and her face blushed with something fierce.

"I'm...quite fine, thank you, Link."

Link, after realizing the situation was fine, moved on ahead to join Zelda. Daruk chuckled a bit.

"Lookin' a little red there, Mipha."

"I'm...not-"

"Wait. Little red. Little....red-OH I GOT IT, THATS IT, IM A GENIUS!!"

Kohga, in his triumph, hoisted her up in the air, as if showing her off to the world. Daruk joined in with a loud cry.

"I LOVE CARRYING PEOPLE!!!"

Little did Mipha know that she'd never shake her nickname, much less Kohga.

#asks #Kohga #Daruk #Revali #Mipha

[botwstoriesandsuch]

DEAR FISH FUCKERS, YOU’RE WELCOME

I’ve done what no other has done before (to my knowledge) and found the aging system for the Zora! 

Ok so this started as simple research for this ask

See, I misread the phrasing of “best educated guess” to “research for 2 hours and come to a conclusive answer” so anyhow before I indulge you into the answers of the universe allow me to explain the research I’ve come across 

[TL;DR at the bottom]

So firstly, we have to look at our conclusive evidence, from which we’ll base our theory/headcanon on, which can mainly be found in the Creating a Champion book, and some dialogue in game. I’ve compiled them all in these bullets here

Zora children are around 20ish years old [as said by dialogue with Finley in her love letter sidequest, I don’t have a screenshot but please just take my word for it]

150ish is considered middle-aged for Zora

Muzu is around 4 centuries old 

Curved claws, weathered fins, and worn noses are signs of an older Zora that is more than 3 centuries(ish) old

Zora that were friends with Link must be around 150ish (not just 100), since you need to also account for the 20+ years of growing from a child stage, to the more normal sized form that you see them in the game, ergo, it’s that age plus the 100 years stasis that we determine the “middle age” of around 150

150 is the middle age, double that for the average old age of 300 years, but I say it could go to 400 too for additional reasons I’ll explain later with examples with my final age system. Anyhow, Muzu is around 400 if you take the 100 years for actually growing up from childhood, additional 100+ years of holding a different job as I doubt you just straight out hire a councilman without experience, and then another century for where he first started working in in the council, training Mipha, which would overlap with the period of the pre and post Great Calamity and Link’s return, meaning that’s 3 centuries plus 50ish years if we’re being generous with the overlap. This would help line up with the “for over a century” line as that doesn’t quite mean 2 centuries of working in the council, but Muzu is definitely getting up there to 4 centuries for his age alone

Now, I thought, this was gonna be my breakthrough, this screenshot here, depicting the traits of the older Zora. The elderly Zora are probably around 3 centuries old (since King Dorephan said they were young men around Mipha’s time, 150ish+100 gives us the range of 250-300), so I was like “Oh l can look at the size of their fins and noses and head/tail things and find a more efficient way to find their age” but nOPE. There is very little variation in that ballpark, the Zora either have exaggerated weathered noses or nice and shiny fins and no in between. The size of their head fins are roughly the same, with again, the only exaggerated differences being with the King and Sidon which doesn’t help at all because the Royal Zora already have a bunch of other difference such as their SIZE to name one.

I even went to the part about their curved toes, which initially would line up with some other Zora like Muzu

And let me tell you

I’ve looked at their toes

This is them from a child, a middle-aged, and an elderly. Color doesn’t matter and the curve? Well there’s

BARELY A DIFFERENCE 

At least not nearly enough to find an efficient way to find age. Even Muzu’s final model didn’t have the exaggerated curvature as seen in the book.

I looked at their tail tail fins, (not the tail on their head, but their actual small rounded tail fin by their butts) because the book also mentioned how the grown Zora have more pronounced tail fins compared to the kids, but it was the same for the 150s and the 300s sooo not that helpful

So I kept digging. In the book I found that King Dorephan was crowned around 100 years before the game started. In addition I reread the 10 Zora stone monuments and found that he had killed a Guardian with his bare hands and thrown it off a cliff, which he still had a scar from. 

[and yes I attempted to find his definitive age by seeing how long it takes for a scar to fade but I gave up cause Zora anatomy is too different to find a conclusive answer]

So I was like, “ok Dorephan had to have been around 150 when he came to the throne, then 50 years later the guardians are excavated giving way to the story about the guardian...” blah blah blahbla I even went to the supposed site where that guardian was, but it all didn’t really give me that much more info than what I already knew. I was researching ways to age the rock monuments from visuals alone which needless to say is pretty impossible, so I gave up on finding Dorephan’s age and I kept digging. 

All I wanted was something physical that could properly give way to identifying a Zora’s age was that too much to ask???

Now this is where I had all but given up, it seems that my only answer was this vague note about how their fins move up when they grow

Which, to be fair, held true when I looked at the in-game character models myself, but I can’t exactly pixel measure these things for each Zora.

But THAT’S where the revelation came. I was so focused on finding inconsistencies within the elderly Zora, when I should have been looking at the young baby ones. See, this pictures, literally right next to the page about elderly Zora that I was analyzing for ages, is the key to it all

Now, I was thinking about the rings on a tree, and certain species of banded fish that grow and discard different markings as they grow older, I even counted the neck rings on certain Zora to see if they did that thing where they add a ring for each birthday like some African and Asian cultures do (look it up, that stuff’s pretty interesting!) and that is where it struck me.

Count how many luminescent markings are on their head 

The males have 11, the females have 8  (on the one side, the other side has the same number of dots but for simplicity purposes I’m doing one side)

Now let’s count for these Zoras, who are middle aged-ish

The male has 10, the female has 7.

Now let’s look at the oldest Zora that we know of

3 dots above the eye, four on the tail. Muzu that motherfucker has 7 damn dots and I couldn’t be happier.

MY DUDES, GALS, AND PALS THIS IS IT, I’VE CHECKED AND DOUBLE CHECKED WITH NEARLY EVERY ZORA I COULD AND THE NUMBER OF LUMINESCENT MARKINGS ON THEIR HEAD CORRESPONDS WITH THE AMOUNT OF CENTURIES THEY’VE LIVED, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY      DOWN     TO     THE     DOT

First we have Muzu, who as I’ve preciously stated is around 4 centuries old. 11-4? Oh, it’s seven, and that’s the amount of markings he has? OOoo??

How about this Zora Lady who recognized Link from 100 years ago?

Seven dots? 8-7 is 1 so shes just over one century which lines up timeline wise. You can even see how the third dot is slowing shrinking on her head so she’s coming up on 2 centuries 

Ok how about the elders?

NINE. 11-9 is 2 centuries, with again, the dot by their head shrinking significantly showing how they’re getting up on 3 centuries.

The part I circled in green there is jewelry, not a marking, however this only goes further to prove my point. What better way to appear youthful than to have jewelry that makes it look like you have more markings than you have, made with luminous stone, no less.

This guy? Seggin? Super close to 4 centuries, those dots are fading away fast. Count your days old timer

Random dude that doesn’t recognize Link but is an new apprentice for sculpture making? 10 dots, a fresh 1 century pal, lookin young

I was a feral child running across the Domain screaming people’s ages in their face like a rude, naive, brat, I was elated to say the least. Especially since this system even works on the King himself

[plus one dot slightly behind the fin here...]

King Dorephan has 7 dots, he’s 400 years old. Which still lines up timeline wise, especially since he’s similar age with Muzu who he has stated is one of his most trusted advisors, beecaaaaaaaause of the years they’ve spent working together the timelines match uppppppp

This system works for almost all Zora, with 2 exceptions. Guards have helmets that cover their markings, so it’s impossible to tell. In addition, Prince Sidon, has sixteen lights on this hammerhead because he’s fancy like that (we already know he’s canonically 2ish centuries old anyhow from the DLC)

EDIT: I WAS WRONG THIS WORKS FOR SIDON TOO. The sixteen markings I was referring to was actually the amount of marking on each side of the head total, however if we look at the markings for only one side, like intended

Ten dots, Sidon’s over 100 years old. I’d say he’s closer to 150 given the timeline

Essentially, the most surefire way to find almost any Zora’s age is to identify a male or female Zora, count the number of lights on the side of their head/tail thing, then subtract from 11 if they’re a male, and from 8 for a female. The number left is how many centuries they’ve lived. You can check to see if their markings are shrinking and fading to get a sense if they’re coming up on the next century anytime soon. Comparing this with the oldest Zora we see in game, we can conclusively say that the Zora lifespan is around 3 to 4 centuries since no Zora has been seen with less than seven markings

Now go and make your Zora ocs with your appropriate number of lights. I’m gonna have a cookie

#botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #loz botw #zora #zora botw #botw theory #botw headcanon #no fuck that this IS canon

[xaigatomon]

Breath of the Wild terrible pickup lines

"You want some excitement? Cus I could show you the breath of the wild."

"Are you using magnesis? Cus I feel drawn to you."

"I've got some korok seed if you know what I'm sayin', let's shakka-lakka."

"Ill be your guardian."

"I'll show you a good time baby, I'm a Divine Beast in bed."

"I just woke up from the shrine of resurrection cus you're so beautiful. Wanna help me make some memories?"

"You don't need a shrine to capture my spirit orb"

"I'm sheikah sensing some attraction between us."

“Let’s get to know each other, I like taming horses, beating ganonblights, and long walks on Eventide.”

“Are you Mipha? Cus I can feel your grace, and it’s healing me.”

"Baby you got me in stasis."

"Lets play find the korok."

“You don’t need the triforce of wisdom to know that there’s a connection here.”

“I’ll bet you can raise my Master Sword and sense the energy that dwells within.”

“Can you catch my mighty porgy?” / “Can you find my mighty banana?”

"I'm a bokoblin on the streets and a lynel in the sheets"

“Wanna go for a ride on my master cycle zero?”

“You keep lookin’ so hot, my death mountain might burst.”

“I wanna shower you with more affection than the great fairies. I can’t enhance your clothing magically, but I got sequins!”

“Wanna unpack my treasure chest later?”

“I’ve got two big round sheikah bombs right here.” / “Wanna touch my big round chuchus?”

“Baby, you can raise my tower any day~”

“Let’s make it so hot we’ll need cryonis to cool things down.”

“I heard a rumor from Traysi herself that you wanna kiss me.”

“You make me fly higher than Ravali’s Gale.”

“Show me your thunder spear.”

“We’ll make love so powerful the leviathans will come back to life.”

“You might need some Zora Armor, cus you’re so hot it’s got me sweatin’.”

“Call me Hudson of the Bolson Construction crew, cus I wanna build you up and take you home.”

“I must be Link cus you’re so cute it got my smile shooting up faster than a paraglider in an updraft.”

“The only korok puzzle I haven’t solved yet is how to make you mine.”

"Don't need my sheikah slate, cus you're the bomb"

“Your name must be Hylia, because you look like a goddess to me.”

"I must be a guardian cus my eye is locked on you."

“I’ve got a trial of wood for you.”

"Will you let me be your champion? I'll show you the master sword."

"Let's party til the blood moon rises."

"I'll make you my princess and you'll be calling out my name like Zelda."

#if you think of any more let me know! #the legend of zelda #loz #breath of the wild #botw #pickup lines #bad pickup lines #flirting #nerdy #geek #video games #gaming #joke #gamer #nerd

[katedoesfics]

Shadows of the Yiga | Chapter 29

The Champions were gathered at the ranch once more, standing outside of the barn. They were in the midst of a heated argument about their next move when the air stirred. There was a loud crack as if lightning split the ground, but there wasn't a storm cloud in sight. They turned to the source of the sound only to see Link on his hands and knees, gasping from the wounds that marked his body. To their surprise, he was not alone. Rusl stood above him, looking down at his son, his face pale. Their silent gazes moved between Rusl and Link before Daruk finally spoke.

“What the fuck?” he muttered.

Mipha hurried to Link, dropping to her knees beside him. Link tried his best to push her hands away, but she pushed back harder – easy enough to do in his weakened state – and began to heal him as quickly as possible.

“Where have you been?” Daruk hissed.

Link winced as Mipha worked, looking up to briefly meet Daruk's gaze. His eyes narrowed. “Working.”

Daruk scowled at him. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Saving the world,” Link growled. “Kicking Yiga ass.”

“It looks like you're the one that got your ass kicked,” Kit said.

Link spat blood at the ground. He pushed Mipha away, getting to his feet before she had finished healing him. She searched his darkened blue eyes, catching flecks of red still in them. When he turned his eyes to her, she tore her gaze away.

“So,” Revali started. “Are we going to address the giant fucking elephant standing right fucking there?” He gestured a hand to Rusl.

Their gazes moved back to Rusl. Link stared blankly at his father, almost as surprised as the first time he saw him, as if he hadn’t expected him to be there. His face creased in disbelief and confusion. And then, after a moment, anger, as his brows furrowed together. “You,” he hissed. “You lied to me.” It wasn’t a question. His teeth grit together. “You lied to Aryll.”

“I did what I had to do,” Rusl said sternly. “To keep you both out of this mess.”

“This mess?” Link sneered. “Aryll was eleven years old. I had to tell her her father died.” His nostrils flared. “Is this a joke to you?”

Rusl, too, started to grown angry at his son’s accusations. “Do you think I would have done this if I had a choice?” he hissed.

Link bit his tongue in an attempt to remain calm. Already, he could feel the darkness start to cloud his mind. He had to stay in control. His eyes flashed threateningly dark and he pulled his gaze away from his father. “Fuck you,” he hissed before walking away.

Rusl watched as his son disappeared into the barn, then turned his attention back to Link’s friends. They stared at him with a mix of emotions, though Revali,

Daruk, and Kit seemed to regard him with disapproving stares. His brows furrowed angrily, and in a huff, he turned and marched away in the opposite direction.

“He faked his death,” Kit said bitterly. “That’s fucked up.”

Urbosa frowned. “He wouldn’t do that without good reason,” she said. “There’s more to this than we realize.”

An uneasy silence fell over the group. Mipha stepped away from the group and hurried after Link. She found him in the barn where he was pacing angrily and cursing under his breath. He paused when she stepped over the threshold of the barn and met her gaze. His shoulders dropped, his stiff posture instantly relaxing as she approached him.

“Where’s Aryll?” he asked quickly.

“She went out back with Talon to help him fix some fencing.” Mipha hesitated when he did not respond. “Are you… alright?” She didn’t necessarily mean it in regards to his father’s sudden appearance. She studied his eyes carefully, but he seemed to be back to normal.

“Fine,” he muttered. While the darkness seemed to remain at bay, his emotions ran wild.

Mipha pressed her lips together. “She’s worried sick about you,” she said softly. “Goddesses, what the hell were you thinking?”

Link sighed through his nose. “I thought I could take care of everything myself.”

“How did that turn out?” Mipha said dryly. “Will you stop with this impulsive shit already?”

The corners of his lips tugged into a small smile. “I know,” he started, and the smile quickly disappeared. “I’m sorry.” He pulled his gaze away. “I wanted to do what I could before…” He didn’t need to finish the sentence.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Mipha said.

Link glanced at her. He was not as confident as she was, but he didn’t bother voice his thoughts further with her. Though, if one good thing came out of it all, it was that Aryll would not be alone if something were to happen to him. At least she would have her father, no matter how much he hated him in that moment.

*****

Rusl leaned against the paddock fence on the other side of the house. He put out his cigarette on the wood post as Kit approached with two bottles in hand. He stood beside Rusl, popped open one of the bottles, and offered it to Rusl. He took it wordlessly, but offered a nod in thanks. They drank in silence for a moment before Kit finally spoke.

“So, back from the dead,” he said with a grin, but Rusl did not appreciate the joke. Kit’s grin quickly disappeared and he stared into his bottle. “You know,” he said after another moment. “I met Link and those stupid ass friends of his five years ago.” He smiled lightly at the memory, then chuckled. “They came stumblin’ in, barely after noon. The kinda guys I get at that time aren’t the kinda guys I thought they were.” He shook his head and drank his beer. When he finished, he continued. “Nah, these guys were dressed to the nines, lookin’ all fancy in their dumbass suits.” He shrugged. “Figured it was some kinda bachelor party still drunk from the night before, yanno?” He used his bottle to point in front of him, as if he were gesturing to the three men that entered his bar. “But I recognized them almost right away, of course. Who wouldn’t, right? Hyrule’s heroes. Except Link - he didn’t have that same dumb baby face I used to see on the news. Sure, he may have grown up a little bit since then. You know. Definitely not maturity wise.” He snorted and grinned, glancing over at Rusl, but Rusl did not meet his gaze. His eyes were hard as he stared at the ground, listening to Kit ramble on.

“Anyway,” Kit continued. “I was ready to totally exploit the hell outta them, you know? Come to my bar - Hyrule’s Champions drink here! What better way to take in new customers?” He took another sip of his beer. The bottle barely had a chance to leave his lips when he spoke again in a tone that suggested he had heard the most interesting thing in the world. “Turns out,” he started, “they had just left your funeral.” Kit let his words hang in the silence between them for a moment. He stared ahead, but felt Rusl’s gaze on him.

“He never left my bar after that,” Kit said softly. “For five long years, I had his beer cold, open, and waiting for him at his usual seat in the corner. Mostly, he’d just sit and stare at nothing. But sometimes we’d talk. Sometimes, we’d drink. Sometimes, we’d waste the night crawling around the city looking for something to distract us from life.” He paused. “Five years,” he repeated. “Five years I watched him drown.” His brows furrowed and he turned his gaze to Rusl. “That damn kid’s a mess, you know. I think the only thing that kept him going was Aryll. He did everything he damn well could for her. To make her life as normal as possible. Isn’t that what everyone deserves?” He turned his gaze away and finished his beer. “He sure as hell didn’t get that.”

“Do you think I need to be reminded that I’m a shitty person?” Rusl sneered.

“Nah,” Kit said, shaking his head. “I’m sure it eats you the fuck up.” He hesitated. “I just hope to hell there was a good fucking reason for putting him through all that shit. He deserves the truth.”

“I know,” Rusl said softly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then hung his head.

Kit shrugged. “But I’m just a bartender,” he said. “I bring beer when times are tough, and sometimes offer a little wisdom.” He finished his beer. “If you’re gonna be back from the dead, at least be there. Stick around for a while.” He tipped an imaginary hat at him before leaving Rusl alone once more.

Rusl stayed where he was for a few minutes more, finishing his beer, before finally deciding to find Link, who he had admittedly been trying to avoid since he stormed off. He always hoped he could be reunited with his children again, though this was not the way he had imagined it. He couldn’t blame his son for being so angry with him, however. At the very least, he owed his son an explanation.

It didn’t take him long to find Link. Though it was still daylight, the barn was dim and cool. He shuffled inside without greeting.

Link glanced over his shoulder, but seeing it was only his father, he turned back to the stall where hungry goat eyes looked up at him. He tossed in the flakes of hay and closed the door. “What do you want?” he muttered.

“I’m sorry,” Rusl said. “I know things haven’t seemed fair -”

“Fair?” Link snapped, turning to face his father. “What would you know about fair?”

Rusl sucked in a breath in an attempt to remain calm with his son. “Look,” he started, but Link cut him off.

“No,” he snarled. “You have no idea what we’ve been through. There’s a damn gravestone with your name on it. You don’t get to talk about fair. You were gone. You left us alone. I gave up everything. I took on everything. I raised Aryll. I stayed up with her every night when she cried. I covered her ass when she got suspended from school. I worked a hundred damn hours so she could have a friggin place to live. And you think you can just come back from the fucking dead and everything will be the same?”

“Nothing will ever be the same,” Rusl hissed. “That’s what you don’t get, Link.”

“Then why don’t you enlighten me?” Link snarled.

“The Yiga are hunting you,” Rusl said. “They’ve been hunting you since the day you were born, and they won’t stop until they have you.”

“Well, I hate to break it to ya,” Link started, “but they already got their damn hands on me.”

“I know,” Rusl said through clenched teeth. He turned his gaze down at the ground. “I did everything I could to keep you and Aryll safe,” he said. “That’s why I was gone. I was tracking them down. I was trying to eliminate the problem, following Roham’s orders, but they got to me first.” He hesitated. “As far as anyone knew, I was dead. I should have been dead. I was there for years before I got out.” He pulled his gaze away. “I couldn’t just walk back into your life after that,” he continued. “You were better off believing I was gone.”

“I was, or you were?” Link hissed.

“What would you have done?” Rusl snapped. “If I came back?”

Link narrowed his gaze on his father. “I would have destroyed them.”

This seemed to be exactly the response Rusl expected. His shoulders relaxed slightly. “And that’s why I didn’t come back.”

Link stared at his father. He opened his mouth to speak, but his sister’s voice caught his attention.

“Link?”

Link moved his gaze passed his father to where Aryll stood in the doorway of the barn. Her brows were furrowed as her gaze fell on the man that stood between her and her brother. After a moment, a wave of realization washed over her face.

“Dad?”

Rusl hesitated, meeting Link’s angry gaze. He turned to look at his daughter over his shoulder and smiled at her. “Hey, Ary.”

Aryll ran to her father and jumped into his arms. It didn’t matter how much bigger she was since Rusl had last seen his daughter; he let her jump on him all the same and wrapped his arms around her. Aryll buried her face in her father’s neck and sobbed.

Link’s clenched jaw relaxed for the first time that day as he watched his sister and father together. Rusl kissed her forehead and she pushed herself away to examine him, as if to make sure he were real. Unlike Link, she didn’t once question her father’s appearance, but simply treasured the fact that he was alive and back in their world.

After a moment, Aryll turned her gaze to her brother, but Link’s hardened expression had softened. Aryll was grinning, wider than he had seen on her in a long time. However, her brows furrowed when her brother did not seem as overjoyed as she was.

“What’s wrong?”

Link shook his head. “Nothing.”

Aryll held her gaze on him a moment longer. She knew when he was keeping things from her, but in that moment, she didn’t particularly care. Her father was alive. Her family was whole again. She turned back to Rusl, grinning once more, though her vision had started to blur. She hugged him tightly again and cried quietly against him.

“Damn it, you’re not ten years old anymore,” Rusl said as he kissed her head.

Aryll laughed lightly. “Yeah, Dad, duh.”

Rusl pushed her away and this time, he seemed to inspect her. “Goddesses, I missed you grow up.” He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.

“It wasn’t that exciting,” Aryll said with a grin.

Rusl frowned. He let his fingers brush her hair out of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Ary.”

She hugged him again. “I know,” she said. “I forgive you.”

They didn’t pull apart until Link stepped around them, and without a word, left them alone in the barn.

Aryll stared out the doorway of the barn and frowned. She sniffed and wiped at her own tears. “Why… what… What’s his damn problem?”

“He has every right to be mad at me,” Rusl said.

Aryll’s brows knit together. “No, he doesn’t. Why can’t he just be happy? He’s a fucking idiot.”

Rusl smiled. “Um. Language.”

Aryll’s expression turned suddenly guilty, and Rusl laughed.

“That’s what happens when you leave me with that idiot,” Aryll muttered.

Rusl frowned. “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

Aryll met his gaze. “Because I know you didn’t have a choice.” She turned her gaze back out the door. “Just like Link.” She sighed softly and met her father’s gaze again. “He knows that, too. He’ll come around.”

“I’m not so sure,” Rusl said. “I’ve kept a lot of secrets from him.”

“Link thinks he can save everyone,” Aryll said. Her voice softened. “He’ll die trying.”

“Yeah,” Rusl muttered. “That’s what I’ve been trying to prevent.” He sighed. “I’m pretty sure the last conversation we had -”

“Was about my summer reading project before I started middle school.”

Rusl smiled. “You hated that book.”

“I set it on fire.”

“Link let you play with matches?”

“Please,” she said. “He didn’t let me do anything.” She shrugged. “You know how that goes. I turned into a rebellious teen.” She grinned. “I think I gave him a few strokes.”

“No wonder he’s so bitter.”

Aryll frowned. “Yeah.”

“You can go back to being six years old, now.”

“I would love nothing more,” she said. “I’d much rather be coloring or something.”

“Painting my toenails?”

Aryll grinned. “I’m guessing you didn’t miss that.”

Rusl hugged his daughter once more. “I even missed the stupid peanut butter and banana sandwiches.”

#loz #botw #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #fic #fanfic #soty #shadows of the yiga #soty29

[trashcand-y]

botw au that I’m always down to fuck w: that au where instead of the blights in all the divine beasts it’s just rag doll lookin possessed champions who you have to fight instead. Imagine how fuckin personal that’d be. Also, uh? After you free the champions they’re not dead? How wicked would that be? They do their whole spiel and give you their powers and take their beasts to their designated spots but wait there’s more- until you go to fight ganon they just hang out as npcs in their towns. Mipha goes and gets to chill w sidon and her dad, Daruk gets to go see yunobo, Urbosa goes back and hangs out next to Riju to guide her, and Revali gets to go back to town only to discover nobody has forgotten about him. Good vibes all around you feel? Also consider the following: everyone kinda just assumed the champions were dead? I mean everyone knew they lost the fight in their beasts but they don’t come back out and nobody else can get inside the beasts to check things out so nobody else would know about them being possessed?? Its just a big surprise when they all come back and they’re alive and good and MM that’s some good stuff right there, yknow. Okay im done lol

#breathe of the wild #botw #revali #mipha #daruk #urbosa #ive got hundreds of detailed ideas im just too lazy to draw them so here #shit dude i die #rambling

[whale-shark-queen]

You mentioned fucked up weird AUs in your one post? I'm interested. Tell me about your favourite one(s)!!

AAAaaaah thank you so much!!

Uhhhhhhh heck most of them involve N turning into some horrible Thing because he’s the Estranged Outsider with a Connection to the Bad Guys Even If It’s Not Willingly (yknow like how Eren from snk is a titan shifter or Rin from blue exorcist is part demon) and all of them involve vuvuzelashipping (Nxall the Nuvema lot) I don’t really have a single favourite but I’ll summarize the ones I like most (also note that some of them are good dad Ghetsis/Dadsis aus because u gotta balance out the angst somehow plus dadsis aus are Cool)

Under the cut because I literally can’t summarise for shit and I’m sure no one wants to scroll past 3 pages worth of this (mobile users I apologise since the app is SHIT and refuses to even acknowledge these) 

Also here’s a bit of an index so u can skip to ones that sound interesting instead of going through them all but first u should ask nationalharmonica about her aus bc I love all of hers and they’re awesome and need more love and she also helped with alot of these aus too!! ESPECIALLY the Dragonflower au which I won’t include here because I think she has it on her blog somewhere already.  If ur wondering why I haven’t posted any of these it’s because a) i have neither the skill, time or patience to draw up proper references for all of the characters involved and b) I’m always worried theyll seem too Out There for some people but here we go au masterpost i guess, if anyone reading would like more info feel free to ask!!!

Bacterial Contamination inspired au aka bacterial pestileNce

BotW au

Ib au

PMMM au (the longest one)

Plasma/Aether swapover, N wins+UB monochromeshipping au

Simple fNaf dadsis au

sister locatioN dicksis au (yes I have two for that because I only found out about the secret springtrap cutscene at the end of SL that changes everything the other day)

Nombie (dadsis) au

isolatioN au- Au based on the song Bacterial Contamination.  N goes to the snobbiest most pretentious school you can imagine only because his ex mafia boss dad wants the best for him.  N hides the fact he’s being relentlessly bullied until a teacher phones Ghetsis up asking why N is in such a state whenever he comes into school (BC bruises and cuts and looking roughed up in general).  N goes to therapy and gets meds but surprise they’re an experimental drug and he’s a bug boy now

- BotW au where Touya is Link, Cheren as Revali, Bianca is Mipha and Touko is Zelda.  Ghetsis (who is kinda like Demise if he hung around to make sure his curse worked) is the king of a neighboring region who’s a bit of a warmongering asshole but his son N is friends with princess Touko and her…ahem, associates, which is the only reason Touko’s dad stays civil with him at all.  He uses this to his advantage and infects N with the Malice and reveals his plan to take over Unova, knowing fine well that N would run away to Touko for help.  The truth is he’d set up N to be a ticking time bomb and eventually he becomes the Calamity.  After the whole ~100 year coma and releasing the divine beasts~ thing Touya only remembers who N is after killing him but dw there’s a blood moon just as Touko is sealing the Malice away and N’s freed spirit is brought back to become a friendly giant fluffy spider boy just because I said so

- Ib au with N as Mary (obv Ghetsis is Guertena) except instead of going crazy and trying to kill everyone and being burned up and dying himself the toutous make him sit in the frame while they drag it out of the portal to the real world: problem solved.  I have all this stuff about the others being able to step into his frame but he can’t leave unless someone else draws him so he can possess the drawing but I won’t go into it here BC this post is gonna be long enough already

-Okay I have two madoka aus because possibilities for N are Ndless but I’ve only really developed the dicksis version whereas I only have a witch design for a possible dadsis version so here’s the dicksis one.  The first: Ghetsis is kinda like Walpurgisnacht and N was originally a familiar that represented Ghetsis’ interest being only in things that directly oppose him who was becoming powerful enough to become a witch of his own.  Not wanting him to have even a fraction of power himself Ghetsis transformed him into a human shape, gave him sentience and intelligence and as close to a pure heart as possible so he would be easier to manipulate and led him to believe that magical girls/boys hunt down innocent witches for fun and have witches trapped in their soul gems and tasks N with stealing people’s soul gems to ‘free the witch inside’.  The problem is that the alteration gave N the mindset of ‘innocents who aren’t involved must be protected at all costs’ rather than Ghetsis’ mindset of ‘don’t give a fuck about anyone unless they’re a problem’.  N is also sent to integrate into human society so that he can find magical peepos easier so he ends up coincidentally going to school with the Nuvema kiddos.  He ends up becoming friends with them until he finds out Cheren and Bianca are magicas (I’m just gonna call them that for simplicity) but even though the toutous arent magicas they still support them which is all very upsetting and conflicting for N but he tries his best to protect the witches and steal more soul gems until the others eventually call him out on it and prove to him that the shit Ghetsis told him is bull.  When he goes to confront him about it it’s too late, Ghetsis has absorbed enough witches to become a Walpurgisnacht-like entity, and finally allows N to become a witch.  I’ll link the drawings I’ve done of him but basically his labyrinth would be like a puppet theater and even tho hes the witch he’d have this fuckin giant messed up ghetsis-lookin puppet master familiar who pulls at his strings and coordinates his attacks.  There’d be an audience of masked figures that look like all the magicas he’s caused the deaths of, tiny animals with scissors to represent his wish for freedom and also his fear of his ‘father’ since they never actually get to cut the strings holding him up, and figures that look a heck of a lot like the nuvema kiddos watching in a balcony.  This is all tied into a theory I came up with that almost all the witches are able to be saved since yknow how Homura had that figure of Madoka locked away and Madoka was able to bring her back, and how Sayaka had the violin guy and Charlotte had that doll that probably represents her dead mother? My guess is that if the people those figures represent are brought to the witch and reach out to them the magical girl inside would be able to be freed.  But yeah since N was never really a human the Nuvema kiddos can only really save a fraction of his conscious and he ends up like Bebe.  They all beat the shit out of Ghetsis and everyone lives happily ever after with their pocket witch bf

- the au where 1) plasma and aether are sort of swapped around and 2) N beats the toutous in the final battle.  This is actually based on nationalharmonica’s courtesaN au which is awesome BTW (but it doesn’t involve actual courtesans or N being a courtesan at all but its Sarah’s au so if you’re interested you should totally ask her about it).  Ghetsis keeps Touko and Touya prisoner and just to rub it in their faces blackmails Cheren and Bianca into joining and doing sciency experiment shit which ends up with Touko and Touya becoming UB fusions/hybrids themselves; Touya with Kartana and Touko with Celesteela.  Ofc in the later stages they are able to destroy their place of confinement and escape with Cheren and Bianca to find N who becomes understandably fucked off and upset that his friends have been put through all this shit but begs them not  to kill Ghetsis so he can ask what’s going on.  When he does Ghetsis stabs him with a syringe full of UB fusion shit because he knows fine well hes gonna die he just wanted a final ‘fuck you’ before he is killed by both fire and paper cuts.  Surprise! It’s a Guzzlord.  N becomes a big squishy boy. I’ve done drawings of N in human Guzzlord fusion/hybrid form but I’ve been afraid of posting it but uh if anyones interested i will

- Simplified fNaf dadsis au - basically N and the Nuvema kiddos are the ones that were killed and stuffed in the animatronics, Ghetsis owns the place but risks going bankrupt pouring money into helping find the culprit and also his son and his friends when they’ve been stuck in the one restaurant he kept open to stay afloat.  Nate is the new nightguard and they decide to fuck with him to get rid of some of the boredom of being alone together in the one building for like…30 years or so.  In the end they fess up and make Nate pizza as an apology and they’re chill again

- sister locatioN dicksis au - I already summarised a thing i wrote of it in response to an anon but I’ll include here too.  Once again Ghetsis owns all the shit with the animatronics.  Anthea and Concordia get killed by one of them when they were young so years later Ghetsis sends N down to ‘free’ them (surprise he only wanted to get rid of N) but since their spirits have been fused into one hideous amalgamation of animatronics they’ve gone a bit loopy and want to leave.  The whole scooping room thing ensues and they accidentally turn their brother into a zombie

- Nombie au bc Z is a sideways N heheh I ahven’t thought up much of the background for it but it involves Plasma being a pharmaceutical company that is sort of accidentally being the cause of it.  N gets separated from his dad who ends up being the leader of a large group of people in a little town sort of thing they were able to reclaim but is Sad bc he thinks his son is dead which ends up being half true bc surprise N is half immune and ends up being a conscious zombie boy who wears a curtain as a cloak so he doesnt immediately frighten people bc he got his eye shot out by hillbilies, his face scratched up, his throat bitten out and his heart impaled on a pole (hes a freak without a human heart geddit) zombie apocalypse stuff happens

- isolatioN au - basically spawned from the thought of ’what if N was kept even more hidden away/locked up/never even left at all’.  Plasma is instead secretly in the Pokemon poaching/hunting/selling business but are disguised as…well you already know about Plasma.  The nuvema kiddos had varying levels of rough childhood and were desperate for money so they all joined up; the toutous as night guards and the dualrival s as researchers.  Hidden deep in the facility is a certain tree haired manchild who has been kept in a cage for pretty much his entire life.  Ghetsis does a mother gothel and makes out its to keep him safe and brings him Pokemon to ask about where they live and what other kinds of Pokemon live there so that Ghetsis can release them safely back into the wild go hunt for more Pokemon in the area if there’s anything good there

There’s a few more that I have but I won’t include them because im worried it’d be a waste of time if no one takes interest in any of these but uh thanks for asking and reading if you did!!!

#n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #ghetsis #trainer bianca #cheren #trainer touko #trainer touya #someone is gonna give me hell for putting this shit in the tags i just know it #honestly im terrified of posting this because i cant write or draw for shit #the only thing im vaguely good at is coming up with ideas for things #but here we go

[meefling]

Got the tights for mipha!!! For the life of me I couldn't find opaque white footed tights at any store I went to, and I didn't wanna order any online But here's what it looks like unpainted! Now that I'm lookin at it, I think it'd be much easier to make her necklace and bracelets and anklets by painting it right on the fabric :') nobody's gonna be like "OMG THAT ARMOR IS F A K E HOW DARE YOU" plus it's easier on me and my poor fragile anxiety, so!! I'll be getting this painted next week so I'll show you what that looks like as it happens!

#making mipha #cosplay #botw #zelda #anime north

[thegeminisage]

time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from  somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all  so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please…………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck

#loz blogging #botw spoilers #not too spoiler heavy bit a lil bit #personal #snap story incoming #this storm is gonna be a real humdinger #i worry all the time about my aunt's outdoor feral cat colony ):

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Can we get Sooga (and maybe Kohga) babysitting lil Tulin????

GET READY TO SEE THE GAYS BECOME DILFS, BITCHES.

“We came as soon as we saw your message.”

“Yeah, it was urgent! Where’s the fire?”

Teba turned as he saw Sooga and Kohga dash on into his home. He nodded at them.

“Yeah. Sorry. Was gonna ask Mipha, but she’s with her boy toy. Figured I’d trust you two instead.”

Teba took a step to the side, showing his son, Tulin, who was currently sitting on the floor, writing in his journal. Kohga cocked his head to the side, before shrugging.

“What? You want me to tell him to beat it? He a freeloader or what?”

“No. I need you two to chicksit for me. I’m taking Saki out, and I need someone to watch Tulin.”

Saki walked in just in time, adjusting her feathers.

“Teba, are you ready dear?”

“I’m ready, so long as these two are. So, how about it you two?”

Kohga was about to say ‘fuck no’, when he saw that look in Sooga’s eyes. He WANTED to do this, because he was a moron. Ugh. He sighed, before nodding.

“Fine. You two go and have fun, we got the little guy.”

Saki clapped her hands together, before leaning down to kiss Tulin’s head.

“Be good for Kohga and Sooga, my little nugget.”

“But not TOO good, kiddo.”

Teba patted his head, and Saki chuckled at the sight. She turned to the two yigas.

“Now, Tulin is supposed to be in bed by nine. No playing with Kass’s girls, as they’re supposed to be in bed, and they get into all kinds of mischief. That’s about it! Have fun you three, stay safe!”

Teba held his arm out for his lady, who giggled as she accepted it. Once they left, Sooga turned to Kohga.

“You didn’t want to do this. Why did you say yes?”

“Because YOU wanted to. And don’t look at me like that, you idiot.”

“I love you so much.”

“Tell someone who cares, moron.”

“You guys are weird.”

They both turned to look at Tulin, who was looking at them oddly. Kohga motioned to him.

“So...the fuck do we do with his white lookin’ ass?”

“Stop swearing, for one. It’s not good that he gets a pottymouth so early on. Two, we should properly introduce ourselves.”

Sooga walked over to him, kneeling down as he held out his hand.

“It is nice to meet you, Tulin. My name is Sooga, and that’s Kohga. How are you?”

Tulin put his book down, in order to stand up, and shake his hand properly.

“Hello! And good day!”

“What manners! And a good day to you too, little one.”

“My dad said good kids make good greeters!”

“God that’s a weird saying.”

Kohga sighed as he walked over to Teba’s hammock, before jumping into it, and getting himself nice and comfy. So comfy, he fell right to sleep. Sooga softly sighed. He loved his husband, very, very much.

“So. We have three hours until your bedtime, what would you like to-oh. You’re practicing your penmanship?”

Sooga looked over to the notebook on the floor, and Tulin nodded.

“Yep! Kheel has really pretty handwriting, I want mine to look good too! I wanna surprise her!”

“Huh. Why, if I didn’t know little one, I’d say that’s rather romantic.”

Tulin’s blush shone through his feathers, and he shook his head.

“N-no. She’s my friend, that’s it.”

“Uh huh, I see, I see,”

Sooga sat down next to Tulin, looking at the notebook.

“Regardless, I’d love to give you feedback. My father practiced calligraphy, I think I have a proper position on the matter.”

Tulin handed him his notebook, and Sooga skimmed through the pages. He nodded in approval.

“This is very nice! Have you shown your father?”

“No, just mom.”

“Why is that?”

Tulin shrugged, reaching up to grab his book again.

“It’s just a mom thing. Flight range and arrows are for me and dad, writing is for me and mom.”

Sooga nodded. Such a sweet, talented little boy.

“You have a good bond with your mother, little one.”

“Dad calls her a ‘worrybeak’, but yeah, I love my mom. Are you close with yours?”

Sooga froze. For a moment, he recalled her. Recalled her hair, her eyes, her smile. Her tears, her screams, her pain. His father holding onto her hand, his father scolding him for choosing to leave, using his mother’s name like a curse. A curse that cut into his hide like a-

“Yoohoo? Mr.Sooga?”

He suddenly snapped back into reality as Tulin waved his wing in front of his face. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“We...were. But she is no longer here.”

“Oh. I’m super sorry. What about your dad?”

“My father...wanted me to leave the nest, so to speak. But it’s fine. I’m loved enough.”

Tulin followed his gaze to Kohga, who gave his ass a good scratch. Tulin snickered, and Sooga couldn’t resist a small chuckle as well. Tulin put his book away, In order to look at his blades. The little rito was clearly very interested.

“Did he give you those swords?”

“No. Master Kohga did. Have you ever wielded a weapon before?”

“A bow and arrow, but never something cool like swords!”

Sooga thought about it for a moment. This child DID seem rather mature, despite his small size. Not to mention bows were just awful for up close combat. Against his better judgement, he decided to give the little one a gift.

“Would you like a present, Tulin?”

“YES! Please!”

Oh the way his little eyes shone in excitement. He pulled out something from his back, and placed it right into Tulin’s awaiting wings. A Vicious Sickle. Tulin looked it over in his hands, clearly in awe. Sooga chuckled, lightly patting his little bird head.

“It’s a light, easy to use weapon, with enough practice. It’s a wonderful starter weapon, and it never hurts to have extra protection. You will soon be the man of the house, you must learn to defend what is yours.”

“Woah! SO cool!”

Tulin was so excited, he started waving the damn thing around like a madlad. Even someone as calm as Sooga felt slightly panicked; for the only thing more dangerous than a blade, was an inexperienced hand. He grabbed onto Tulin’s hand, barely keeping himself from being cut.

“It IS cool. But what’s cooler is knowing how to use it. Would you like to learn?”

“Yes!! Please teach me! Please please please!”

“Very well. I should hope to be a good teacher to an eager student.”

Sooga held onto his hand, showing him the proper way to hold it; tightly, with the blade angled for a downward motion.

“Okay, I think I got it. Like this?”

“Perfect. Now, it’s a limber weapon, so if you need to move it in your hand, feel free to do so. Just be careful, it’s very easy to cut yourself. Now, let’s try to get a feel for it, shall we?”

Sooga stood up, and brandished one of his swords. He gave Tulin a moment to get his stance ready, before he let Tulin come at him. Course, he was very easy to block, but the point was so Tulin could feel comfortable holding it.

“Good, good. Side to side motions, just as you are.”

“It’s...kinda heavy, my arms hurt.”

“Suppose for your size, it’s not as limber as it is intended to be. Do your arms really hurt, or can you keep trying?”

“I...can keep trying, I think.”

“Good, a true fighter keeps going. Swing at me again.”

He noticed Tulin had to use almost both his hands as he swung. Poor thing was struggling. Light as his weapons were, Tulin was small. Determined, but very tiny. Still, he did rather well, all things considered. He blocked another blow rather easily.

“You aren’t uncomfortable around weapons. Good.”

“It’s usually bows, but training with my dad is a LOT like this.”

“Good of your father, teaching you to be comfortable with such a vital tool.”

He was about to do a mock swing, just to see if Tulin could dodge, when he saw Tulin was already weary, panting and even sweating a little. For living in a peaceful village, and armed with a bow and arrow, this WAS a lot of practice, especially from someone who was essentially a stranger. Sooga put his weapon away, and knelt down to Tulin.

“Why don’t we take a break? A weapon is useless without a body.”

“Okay...can we eat? I’m hungry.”

Sooga nodded, letting Tulin take the weapon, and sneak it into his own hammock. Tulin helped him find the cooking pot, and in a moment, Sooga had a fire going, and a few ingredients to throw inside.

“So, what are we hungry for?”

“I dunno, what can you make?”

“I suppose I can make poultry curry.”

“Oh! Yes! Do that one!”

Sooga nodded. He had no issues cooking the rice, and the chicken appropriately, and as soon as it was done, he handed a bowl to Tulin. Tulin dug into it hungrily, before slowly ceasing his eating. Sooga cocked his head down as the child stared at the bowl.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t like how it tastes. Super bland. I don’t wanna eat it.”

“God fucking dammit, Sooga, I can smell your shit cooking in my dreams.”

They both turned to look at Kohga, who had just woken up. He got out of the hammock, and walked over to the pot, taking the soup ladle to help himself to a taste. He then used it to smack Sooga on the back of his head.

“You. Cannot cook. I’d rather eat wet sand, at least THAT has salt.”

“I thought I was cooking it right-”

“Yeah right to hell. Fuck shit, move. What even is this?”

“Poultry curry.”

Kohga looked at him as if he had just gone insane.

“You’re...feeding chicken...to a baby chicken. That’s fucked up, Sooga.”

He was about to bitch at him some more, when Tulin nudged the bowl against Sooga. Kohga turned to look at him, and the little one was whimpering.

“Please fix it, I’m really hungry.”

“For the love of- fine. But only because I hate it when Sooga cooks.”

And Kohga did not disappoint. Not only did he fix Sooga’s awful poultry curry, he made the tastiest, sweetest egg pudding Tulin had ever tasted. The little one had two helpings of each, burping as soon as he was done. Kohga chuckled as he saw just how content the little guy was.

“Look at you, hungry fella. You need anything else, kid?”

“Uh huh. Can I please have some warm milk?”

“Sure, sure. I’ll make it just how my mom made mine.”

Tulin peered over as Kohga not only poured milk onto the pot, but cane sugar, courser bee honey, and even ground up some Chickaloo Tree Nuts. It made for a sweet, fragrant drink that Tulin accepted gleefully. He took one sip, and started kicking his little legs around wildly.

“This is SOOO good! This is WAY better than when mom makes it! Your mom is super cool!”

“She really was, she really was. Glad you like it, kiddo. Your turn, Sooga.”

Sooga didn’t LOVE sweets, but who was he to refuse such a treat from his Master? He accepted his own cup, took a sip, and found himself recalling...the good times. The times where he stood with his mother as they sipped tea, the times where she would get rid of his dirty, wet clothes, in order to get him warm and dry again. There was...only good in this drink, honestly. Sooga nodded, trying not to dwell so much on what was.

“I agree with Tulin. This is excellent. I’m surprised I’m just now trying it.”

“Eh, I only make it if I really need to go to bed. I usually make them with banana cookies-”

“Can you make those next time, please?!”

Tulin was practically giddy at the notion of more treats, and Kohga found it amusing. He patted Tulin’s head, nodding.

“Sure. Next time I’ll bring some over, just for you kid.”

“You’re SO cool!”

“I mean, I know that, but thank you.”

Kohga chuckled. He helped himself to his own drink, sighing in content. A nice, cold night, warmed by a nice fire, and some warm drinks. What more could one want? Sooga chuckled to himself, realizing he had downed nearly half of his cup. No wonder he was feeling so calm, so still.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’d know how to handle a hungry child who didn’t like my food.”

“That's why I’M the cook between us. Your food is so bland. I had half a mind to-”

He went silent, and Sooga saw why. Tulin had finished his drink, and had passed out, right into Kohga’s lap. Kohga struggled, clearly not knowing how to handle this, before groaning, and just patting the bird’s back, lulling him further into sleep. Sooga sat there for a moment, watching them. Kohga didn’t want children, but...they did like him. Found enough comfort in him to fall asleep on him, to cherish the plentiful meals he made them. Sooga even turned to look at his face, and caught him smiling oh so fondly at the little bird. Kohga seemed to catch his grin, and huffed.

“Hell you looking at?”

“I’m just. Seeing how wonderful you are with Tulin...and it really, really makes me realize; you’d make a wonderful, wonderful parent. You act so standoffish, but you...truly love taking care of children and-”

“God don’t you start that shit with me, Sooga.”

“I’m just saying! Family life might be for you! How do you know, you’ve never tried it!”

“Shut the hell up, you absolute fucking idiot.”

Sooga stopped for a moment as Kohga leaned into him, still keeping his hand on Tulin. Sooga looked down at these two, and was confident, more than ever, that he wanted a family. This feeling, that he was feeling right now, was something he desperately, terribly wanted. He wrapped his arm around Kohga, letting the dancing fire illuminate his features. He kissed the top of his head, softly sighing.

“I...love you. I love you so terribly much.”

------------------------------

“Sooga! Kohga! We’re ba-oh!”

Saki immediately silenced herself as she saw the little cuddle train that was happening here. Teba walked in behind her, chuckling at the sight. He nodded towards Sooga, who was too busy protecting them to sleep.

“Teba, Saki. How was your date?”

“Oh it was lovely, we went out to eat and everything. Quite sweet, honestly. Here, let me put him into bed, I’d hate for him to get a cramp, laying on the floor like that.”

Sooga, despite how it hurt his heart, let Saki take Tulin, and put him into his own little bed. Suppose that was his cue. He got up, carrying a sleeping Kohga in his arms. Teba nodded at him.

“Thanks for watching him. Hope he wasn’t too much for you two.”

“Not at all. You have a very wonderful, and very honest boy. You should be proud.”

“I am, I am, honestly. Especially if he made an impression on you.”

“I...hope this isn’t too much, but may we stay? I just, really wanted to-”

“What is this?”

They both turned to look at Saki, who was holding the vicious sickle in her hand. Teba winced, before shaking his head.

“yeah...I think staying is a really bad idea.”

Sooga looked at Saki, and shrugged.

“In my defense, he was excited to receive a present.”

So Sooga and Kohga weren’t ready to be dads.

Just yet, anyway.

#asks #teba #saki #tulin #kohga #sooga #listen #sooga wants to be a dad SO badly PLEASE for the love of god #and yes #tulin somehow got to keep it #dont ask me how