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blkkizzat · 8 months

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ꨄ︎『Cookin in the kitchen like a pot roast』ꨄ︎

☞ ꨄ︎『Masterlist』ꨄ

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Where my bad bitches? Fuck these niggas, give them trauma Coulda fixed his life but now that nigga need Iyanla

FYI write for a female identifying perspective with no racial descriptors so all can enjoy but a lot of my fics are inspired by hip hop lyrics or culture so very much black coded. If I decide to write black reader exclusively I will call it out in the summary/heading somewhere. My works are tagged: #♋︎kizzatcookedthat & #♋︎kizzatcooks Kinktober: # ☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳

ৎ੭ JJK MEN FAV ALT FUCK KINK - M.LIST - ♡∞ | ✎

ৎ੭ Daddy & Baby - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛You get the best of both worlds from a Choji [Choso x Toji x Reader] polyship❜

ৎ੭ Sins of the Father - ♡☯︎✟ | ✔ ❛You really need to repent for tormenting Father Kento like this.❜

ৎ੭ Sneaky Link: 1 & 2 - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛When Yuji goes to sleep, Sukuna comes out to play.❜ ৎ੭ A Bumpy Ride - ♡☯︎꩜ | ✔ ❛A long miserable ride on vaycay? Why not cockwarm your bf Suguru?❜ ৎ੭ Lessons in Anatomy ✎ P1: Nerd!Geto - ♡☯︎☻꩜ | ✔ ❛Your nerdy bff Suguru teaches you how to study and squirt.❜

ৎ੭ Toji x TumblrSmutWriter!Reader - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Your new bf Toji finds out his cute n' innocent gf has a filthy imagination.❜ ৎ੭ Do You Eat Pussy? - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛Asking a sexy stranger a wild question gets you a wild answer. [Toji x Reader]❜

ৎ੭ WFH!Nanami - ✿ ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛You wont let your WFH husband miss his most important meeting of the day.❜

ৎ੭ YakuzaBoss!Toji - ♡☯︎☻🐈‍⬛| ✔ ❛Uh-oh! You're about to find out what happens when you ignore Yakuza!Boss Toji. ❜

For one/shots fics of JJK Men Fav Alt Fuck Kink see 'series' section above ꜛ Nuru Massage ft Choso - ♡∞ | ✔ Foot Jobs ft Geto - ♡∞ | ✔ For one shots/fics apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below ꜜ Ghostface!Choso - ♡☯︎☻✟ | ✎ (complete but epilogue/P3 coming) Werewolf!Toji - ♡☯︎☻ | ✔ Tricks or Treats: JJK Halloween Fluff Anthology - ✿➹∞꩜ | ✔

< 1k words

ৎ੭ Kissing True Form Sukuna - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛How you gonna make this man jealous of is own hand like that.❜

ৎ੭ Intern!Reader - ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛Being a legal intern for Nanami and Higaruma is tough business.❜

ৎ੭ Ab Riding Sukuna - ♡∞ ⌦ | ✔ ❛Being the personal fuckdoll of a four-armed evil monster isn't so bad if it's for a good cause.❜

ৎ੭ Objectifying Sukuna - ➹∞꩜ | ✔ ❛Dayum, Daddy what them thighs do?❜

ৎ੭ Broke&Kinky!Toji - ♡∞ | ✎ ❛No money? No problem! Best 'O' of your life for under ¥500.❜

ৎ੭ Do My Dance - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛If you throw it back this good, Toji might even pay your rent.❜

ৎ੭ Smoking with Choso - ✿ ➹∞ | ✔ ❛Your sweet bf deserves all the cuddles and indica blunts.❜

ৎ੭ April Fools With Toji - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji can dish it but he can't take it.❜

ৎ੭ Why Toji Stays With You - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji has yet to figure out he can't play the player❜ ৎ੭ Pussy Talk - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Your kewchie is multilingual thanks to daddy Toji.❜ ৎ੭ JJK Men x Black!Reader Bonnet Headcanons - ✿☯︎➹🐈‍⬛ | ✔ ❛Daddies are showing us how much they love us and our bonnets.❜ ৎ੭ Cult Leader!Suguru - ∞➹🐈‍⬛ | ✔ ❛Suguru called the wrong b!tch a monkey, he finna learn today.❜

ৎ੭ Choso Coded - ➹∞ | ✔ ❛How down bad he is for you after a sip of kewchie.❜

ৎ੭ Toji Lies About Being Broke - ꩜∞| ✔ ❛Taking care of a grown ass man for so long pays off❜

ৎ੭ JJK Men Getting Through TSA ❛They should really just try to drive next time❜

For headcanons apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below Why you can't watch scary movies with JJK Men - ♡∞| ✔ Slutty JJK Men Halloween Costumes - ♡➹∞ | ✔

Kizzatober '23 presents ↴ ৎ੭ m.list: Thrilling Ghouls & Smooth Criminals #☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳

ৎ੭ The Nursery - (Yakuza!Toji x Reader) ♡☯︎☻ | ✎ WIP ❛Toji on his Joe Goldberg bullshit. Lactation kinks too.❜

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023 & 2024. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

#masterlist #jjk writing #jjk fanfiction #jjk x reader #like this if you got that wet wet #minors dni #toji fushiguro x you #toji x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #nanami x reader #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jjk smut #toji smut #nanami smut #geto smut #gojo smut #choso smut

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prideicons · 10 months

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUBMITTING YOUR REQUESTS !! <33 and i apologize for Not being able to do all of them, my ask-box is still sitting at a Whopping 152 asks, that's a lot !!! (174 icons done though, DAYUM !!! new personal record !!! )

it's always Fun to do this 'event', although not so much for my wrist LMAO. still, Thank you for participating for yet another year !!! you guys were so lovely and nice, it fills me with Joy reading y'alls comments on asks and/or tags <3333 i hope to repeat this again next year, so Get Ready to set your alarms

also i know i'm just saying thank u all over this post, but i'm genuinely Greatful for y'all's support !!! to those that left tips on my ko-fi, i am Hugging You Tightly !!!!

(you can still send tips if u want. they're Extremely Appreciated but Not Necessary !!!)

i hope y'all had a wonderful pride month !!! kisses y'all's forheads

all icons i've drawn are totally free to use on whatever platform u want, i only ask to be credited somewhere !! :3 <3

2023

2020

#2023 #.txt

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liquidluckandstuff · 7 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you for tagging me @racfoam (oh my gosh these are a lot of questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have a total of 21 fics 😅

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

182,399.... dayum

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry potter and only Harry potter. I'm TRYING to put in effort into other things, but they just don't hold my attention.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven is your sleeping Enemy

Phantom Touch

Just Another Omegaverse Fic

Darlings and Dragons

Found Footage

5. Do you respond to comments? Why? Why not?

I respond to most comments. I love it when people comment. It makes me happy to hear what people think about my fics. or that they are just reading it at all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Heartbreaking Confession. It has to be one of the shortest things i've ever written but man, there is just no hope.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

His Brave Boy . It just got attention recently due to a tik tok and i CRIED. I love this little one shot so much.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The only reason i've ever gotten hate on a fic is because people don't want to read tags or think they can dictate how my story is going to progress.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have a whole ass second account for my smut fics thank you very much.

SolidMisfortuneandThings

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I mean it's got Dungeons and Dragons vibes.

The only other cross over fic i've ever written I orphaned along with all my other stuff many years ago.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! and surprise surprise it was the smut

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? We collaborated and then life happened

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

HARRYMORT. Not tomarry. (i mean i like tomarry and all) but Harry and Voldemort.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One i have saved with 20k words in my documents about Harry having actual prophetic dreams about death because of the killing curse and through that ends up saving the minister of magic and being adopted by Voldemort.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Yo man idk thats too much internal thinking for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sentence structure. Grammar. Confidence.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't even try. I say either the main character didn't understand it, generalize the conversation, or mention that its in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

..... Final Fantasy

20. Favourite fics you’ve written?

DARLINGS AND DRAGONS. IT IS MY BABY AND I LOVE IT

Tagging: @i-dream-of-libraries @cloverwoodss @queasyghosts @reggieblk @zombu7 @vyrid I don't remember everyones tumblr i am so sorry

#harrymort #tomarry #harry potter #tomarrymort #ask game

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saruin · 10 months

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reject the trend of low rise cargo pants and crop tops!! return to the most niche bs most of the community would look at like “dayum, who tf would use that” !1

Honestly... HONESTLY that's my thought anytime I make anything.

"who tf is gonna wear that???!!??" Iunno but somebody's gonna rock it the fuck out and tag me when they do. That's the best part.

When I started making cc i did it for myself, for those times I got inspired but never could find anything like what I wanted to put on my sims in my head. Other stuff was just ideas from IMVU that never got realized cause I didn't learn blender when I was still over there. Nowadays I have folders full of ideas that I left abandoned cause I didn't think it would appeal to the community (plus some stuff I made I would get anon hate for and that discouraged me further)

I don't care about appealing to the community anymore (and any anons that crawl into my inbox with negativity can eat my ass) I'm going back to sharing the things I like and if other people think they're neat, then that's cool.

sorry for rambling, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. uwu

#saruin answers

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goldenlol · 23 days

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I am going insane over your latest art piece did you know I adore it and have gushed about it in the tags

Can you tell us about your ‘storyline’ regarding choco and velvet? I see bits and pieces from your art and some captions, such as the babies and such, but I do not believe there is a whole lot you have revealed. Do you feel comfortable sharing? Is it deemed ‘not fleshed out enough to post’? Or have you been waiting for someone to ask?

AUGDHS YES I SAW UR TAGSS they always make me so happy 😭🙏I always look forward to what you have to say for every new drawing I make gehha like omfg someone likes my art that much,,?? DAYUM!!

N THE WHOLE THINGGG?? uhmm tbh I change my mind a lot..soooo it might even change after this, I never planned to say the whole thing cause of that and cause,, I just didn’t want to cause idk if people were that interested so that’s why I would spill random things every now n then.

I’m glad you read the captions n shit!! but so far it’s like this

I came up w a new hc that the npc and bitter are darkvelvet kids, they were made to be vessels but ended up too weak. De wanted to get rid of them but red velvet convinced her to let them live, saying that he would take bitter w him back to TOC and the npc one stays to help w the experiments.

(dark choco didn’t know she would’ve gotten rid of them, he thought she would let them live since they are her grandkids n would have affection for them n somewhat)

they both raised the kids (I’m gonna change the npc’s skin tone later cause it’s just too gray for me) but for the npc one, I wanna say they’re unhealthy, because of the constant experiments n overworking, choco and rv don’t get to always rlly take care of them both cause of constant missions and being busy (but dw they all live together later and they become healthier)

But what I know for sure is that after the war has started, red velvet ends up in the cacao kingdom and sees choco, he has mixed emotions but he does know is that’s he’s mad. He lashes out on him and in the process accidentally cuts off his arm, red velvet immediately regretted it when it happened but he was just too upset w him, he didn’t mean to but it happened anyway. he tells him how upset he was when he left without saying anything. Choco says that he would’ve liked to have been on better terms with his father first and secured his place back at his home before going out to get red velvet and their kids, so he would know for sure that they can have somewhere to live safely.

they don’t get married, they never get back together but they’re friends and red velvet understands that. Dark choco marries milk after a couple years reconnecting, n they all live together in the cacao kingdom w their kids.

#dark choco cookie #red velvet cookie #darkvelvet #My doomed yaoi for you guys

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lilolilyr · 6 months

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ANSWER MY RIDDLES SIXTEEN (or not lol pls only answer all of them if you want to)

5. something in fiction that reads like poetry

28. a book you wish you could read as a beginner again

42. a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end

43. a book that you have read more than three times

50. a book that made you cry a LOT

54. a book with the best opening line

55. a book with a satisfying ending

60. a book that you think about at 3 am

66. a book that fucked you up

70. your favourite poetry collection

74. your favourite love triangle

80. a book that reminds you of a loved one

90. the longest book you've read

99. a book with a strong female protagonist

119. your favourite summer read

131. tag somebody with whom you would want to buddy read a book

Ohhhhhhh Dayum that sure is an ask xD I’ll try my best adsfghjkl

Ask meme

5 Ok already the first one i go completely Blank on? Wtf reads like poetry?? What Does That Even Mean 🙈

28 as a beginner like as someone who hasn’t read any books yet?? Or for the first time? I wish I could read LotR for the first time again. I remember I’ve even read all the songs and long tree descriptions and everything because I was so in the story I couldn’t miss a single word, and I’ve skipped most of them every time since, and usually just watch the movies instead anyway lmao

42 scream in a good or bad way? Bad way so many Deutschunterricht Bücher. Homo Faber in particular.

Good way most of the discworld books recently!

43 & 50 Sara, die kleine Prinzessin <3 used to borrow it each time I was at the local library as a kid

Oh and also Isola by Isabel Abedi! It’s been a while and I don’t really remember the plot all that well but I remember reading it a lot. Maybe I should give it another re-read!

54 “The wind howled, lightning stabbed at the earth erratically, like an inefficient assassin” - Terry Pratchett: Wyrd Sisters

(Tbh it’s the only book I physically have on me atm and so the only first sentence I could check. But. I think it’s pretty good!)

55 If it hasn’t got a satisfying ending I don’t like itttt, honestly everything I’ve already answered could go here too…

60 the fucking house of night side stories haunt me

66 oh god oh fuck I don’t remember the name because halfway through I put it Behind the other books in my shelf in my childhood bedroom so I’d never have to look at it again but. It was about what if ‘ageing’ got a cure and everyone was basically suddenly immortal and obvs we don’t have the resources for that kind of population and wars and fucked up politics and killings and ghettos and oh my god

70 I actually tend to read poems either online and then it’s not a collection but more going through Google images of a particular author like K Le Guin, or checking out old poetry books from free book thingies where I maybe won’t like them all that much most of the time but they’re still kinda interesting? But couldn’t name a fav

74 love triangle or love angle? Poly 📐 from books I can’t think of anything canon or hc? And ‘love triangle’ ~oh who will she be end up with’ angles I just can’t stand. But most well written of these kinds of situations is definitely Panem because it’s not actually about the picking the boy but rather picking the kind of life Katniss wants to live

80 5 Freunde makes me think of my parents bc I have all their old books <3 and Lola makes me think of my sister because i used to read that series out loud for her

90 I know for sure I’ve read fanfics longer than any book I might’ve read!

99 hunger games. Oh, also anything from Trudi Canavan, especially the Age of the Five series. Many great women there and I love the witch best

119 what on earth is a summer read? XD but some other fav books of mine are

- Lies we Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley, an interracial lesbian story set in the US during the segregation

- Dracula by Bram Stoker. Seriously if you haven’t read it yet do so it’s amazing. I love seeing all the Dracula daily memes now, when I read it years ago most ppl just knew some movies that have nothing to do with the original plot and the original is great!

- Erebos by Ursula Poznanski. That one just… I couldn’t put it down, it’s so thrilling and good.

131 I’m not sure I’d want to buddy read a book with anyone because if Dracula daily taught me anything, then that I am incapable of reading on a schedule xD I really tried to re-read it with the emails. But nope. But theoretically, on a we‘d-probably-vibe-with-the-same-stories-&-enjoy-chatting-about-them kind of way, I’d have a bookclub with you and @lavendelhummel @squishmittenficfan @purlturtle @mimi-mindless @die-schwanenkoenigin @wellsbering :)

And if you guys liked these qs, the ask meme is here, if you reblog it I’ll send some your way!

Thx so much for the ask Ela! <3

#ask the blogger #book ask #Book rec ask #f #answered #24.10.23 #25.10.23 #toboldlynerd #mine #non anon #ask meme ask #books

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windypuddle · 1 year

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hello i have so many thoughts about triage

ok so short version i think what probably happened is his wife was sick and he tried to use organ transplants from his children to save her and it didnt work*. this is just going to be me dumping all my thoughts and hoping they make sense

*maybe they were incompatible because his kids got more of his genes. he might also feel guilty about that.

*other option is they WERE compatible so he took organs from his kids to use as a transplant for his wife and this possibly killed the kid(s) and/or it just didnt take anyway so all three of them died. considering how the bit after the bridge shows all three of them liquifying i think they all died

^ ive seen a lot of theories about how it might be medicine but i feel like with the organ compatibility labels in throw down this might be like. labels for when youre transporting organs? and him handing it to his son is like handing down his fate (death) and he feels sooo guilty about it

“those cards of promise i discarded, they were retribution for my incessant taking” aha. because he had been taking organs from patients he was being “punished” by fate by getting incompatibility reports. this begs the question does he believe in some karmic fate or a higher power? which makes his deal with amane interesting

OK starting from the beginning now. i think its really interesting how hes shown in much more casual clothes because in throw down it was either doctor uniform or like designer clothes? so this is almost like a third side of him

“in that case, i should’ve been the one” he feels, looking back, like he should’ve sacrificed himself to save his wife instead of their kids

the arches are so interesting i think they represent choice, his choice of who to save: his wife or his kids. shidou in casual clothes is seen walking in front of the arches and then in more formal clothes hes standing between them, forced to make a choice

the flowers wilting as he walks by them... man. i dont have anything to say its just a neat imagery on how he causes death or whatever

pomegranates... pomegranates r so symbolic of various things like life and death (think persephone) . i do not need to go into all that. everyone know about the fruit having the medical labels so that represents maybe medicine?

“killing, extracting, i still wont see them again” despite all his efforts it didnt work and he couldnt save his wife and ended up killing their sons. sad! well theres other worlds

i think the visuals in that bit are also interesting but moreso in a way of like. ok hes a doctor of course theyre well off but like dayum!! lobster? and pomegranates? expensive tastes. like how this whole pursuit is costly hmm?

“i need to be tagged as red” he feels so guilty and thinks he deserves to die. im not elaborating on this too much everyone knows this and he repeats it multiple times.

the octave? pitch change from that part to the chorus is really drastic and i feel like that denotes that the chorus is specifically him in milgram thinking about it and not just his memories

“the love that wont perish” oh OH. oh. hey . what if he sees the innocent vote as a cruel love that wont die unlike his wife who did die. hey wouldnt that be fucked up

the older (?) kid looks like he liked shidou more because he runs to him when he gets home, whereas the other one stays by his mom’s side... man if that kid was shidous favorite and trusted him more that would hurt EXTRA if he was the one that shidou was mainly taking transplants from

hes indispensable so now he feels like hes not allowed to die because the other prisoners need him...

ok in the bridge i think its interesting because when the guilty line shows up, only one of the arches shadows is visible, but on the innocent line, both of them are visible... he feels guilty because of the choice he made but maybe if hed managed to save everyone then his actions wouldve been justified and forgivable. also more pomegranates representing death and i think the pancakes represent their happy home life

this part is fascinating because while he feels like he IS guilty and SHOULD be sentenced to death... he wants to have a purpose again (helping people) and he wants to have a reason to live and he wants to redeem himself... “to extract that fang” i know some people are interpreting this as oh hes gonna get rid of kotoko. but honestly i think he just wants to heal and mitigate the damage shes doing (the “fang”)

the chorus sounds weird when you first listen to the words but like.... hes so sickened by his own actions... he doesnt believe he should be forgiven but he does want to live deep down. “i want to be innocent, i want to live”

if anyone has any ideas on the “hurling slurs of ‘hostage game’“ or if theres a better translation... i do not really understand this line at all... maybe it represents how he feels like he has a choice between the lives of either kotoko or the other guilty prisoners... like he had to choose between his wife and their kids... because in a hostage situation you cant get everything you have to compromise

“you do know that its up to me” ahaha noo dont develop a god complex. and as he says the last “im indispensable” he puts the doctor outfit back on....

#puddle talks #milgram #milgram spoilers #shidou kirisaki #triage

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dyrewrites · 2 months

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Find the Word Tag - Extra Long Edition

@aziz-reads and @starbuds-and-rosedust got me with this one and I am doing both at once.

I am also tagging EVERYONE, because this is a lot...and I dun wanna inflict eight words to hunt down on anyone specific.

Your words are; Bottom, Command, Drink, Curse, Fall, Blue, Big, and Hand

My words are; Small, Chest, Choice, Soup, Luck, Draw, Wheel, and Spin.

Putting my snips under the cut, because dayum.

Small

Shaking, shivering, screaming in the chill of what gripped, what sought to tear all of me away from the warmth of life, I lost the last of my sight as he laid me inside it. But I heard the thunk of the trunk lid, the soft click of locks and Lucient, so distant, so small, “A few moments of darkness, my treasure, and then you will be mine forever.” Then there was nothing, I was nothing.

Chest

Lucient did not let go of me. Not as we answered the summons, not as we accepted that horror's hands on us, drawing us up against his slim chest—forcing our lips towards his long, thin neck. Not once did Lucient lose my hand, fingers ever entwined, and the witch cooed for it, adoring the sight of us—the heat of me. “So warm this pet, kitty,” he swooned, certain as many of those fingers he could manage touched by neck, my cheeks, “where did you fine such a treat...” How he moaned when our fangs broke through his clammy flesh, “yes, hotter still its teeth, oh...I could have you for hours, pet.”

Choice

“Do you want to leave, treasure,” He asked so simply, eyes still so cold, “flee the monster you think me…the monster I made you?” And I didn’t, not at all, not then and not any time after, not truly. I was only concerned, frightened of a lack of choice—as I should have been. Honesty spilled, slow, uneasy, “No, of course not, I…I want.” Again that soft hand, that gentle caress on my cheek as his voice took on a sorrowful echo, “You want to stay here, with me.” “Yes,” I nodded, pressing into that hand, eyes firm on his as my own voice echoed, wavering beneath a control I couldn’t understand, “I, I want to stay.” “Because you're mine,” He commanded, so smooth, so sweet, echoed beautifully in ear and mind. “Yes, my dream,” I agreed, obeyed, “I am yours…always yours.”

Luck(y)

Guiding me to the desk chair, a brush and slim pair of scissors in his hands, he smiled and shook the hair resting on his shoulders, “These curls are yours and yours alone, treasure, they go into hiding the moment we leave this ship.” Smiling back, I reached to pull him closer, toward my lap, “Lucky me.” “Chut,” He slapped at me with the brush, sliding behind the chair to escape me, “we are out of time for those teasing hands. Lift your head.”

Draw

I was alone. Yet not in silence; a haunting, intricate melody washed down the stairs. Though I didn’t recognize the piece, I knew the instrument responsible. It was a favorite, in fact, and I imagined he knew that—but doubted it the reason he played. Sonorous that sound, majestic with each draw of the bow along its strings, and I followed it with tentative steps—afraid of being its end. He wasn’t in his quarters when I reached it, yet his music flowed louder from the open door. I found him out on deck, bathed in moonlight before a backdrop of blue-black sea, playing to an audience of stars.

Wheel(ing)

“Un tel langage, treasure, fine. How about here?” He had them stuffed under the mainsail, which might have worked but his silks kept billowing—dangerously close to fluttering away—and no part of me was comfortable watching that fabric fly into the sea. “Absolutely not,” I snapped again. And he weaponized his wet jacket sleeves, wheeling around to slap me across the cheek—no, not the face. The sharp, wet sting on my burning skin was not appreciated and I glared, taking slow steps towards him. Hands up, he backed away—but the jacket stayed on his arm, ready as he fought laughter, “Now, treasure, it was a moment of—of weakness. I didn’t mean—”

Spin(ning)

“And what of you, my dream,” I asked, forcing my hands to the bed to stop from touching as he bent for his clothes, “are you peeking?” He spun to face me, that curled grin leaning too close to my lips, “As often as I am able, I want to drown in your secrets.” “Not enough for that, I'm afraid,” I offered those lips, but they wouldn’t accept the kiss I tried after. “Not yet,” he said, spinning away to fetch my clothes. With a face full of all he found, I started tugging things on while I asked, “So, our destination?” “Secret,” He clipped from the stairs, calling back as he ascended them, “but I invite you to peek.”

#writeblr #snippet #find the word tag #tag game #open tag #before deluca

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digestionsack · 2 years

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Mike’s Playlist Analysis: Part 2 (The Holy Shit Songs)

1: “When Love Breaks Down” by Prefab Sprout, Thomas Dolby

Aaaaaand even just reading, my spidey-sense went berserk. Mike has not been canonically confirmed to be in love with Will (although we all know it), so this could not possibly be about him. I’m fact, the only relationship, romantic or platonic or familial that Mike has on the show that puts such an emphasis on the word “love” is his relationship with El. So I had a feeling this might be about them, but I expected it to be slightly vague. And then I heard the lyrics. And then my head exploded.

“My love and I, we work well together/But often we're apart/Absence makes the heart lose weight, yeah/Till love breaks down, love breaks down”—Hmmm…since Mike has been deemed the heart this season, I latched onto the line with that word. “The heart [losing] weight” implies that this is on Mike’s end (of course, since this is his playlist), which leads to the next line—love breaking down. “Losing weight” to me implies that gradual loss of love. Damn. Not trying to be subtle, are we?

“When love breaks down/The things you do/To stop the truth from hurting you”—Damn. Dayum. Isn’t this what we’ve all been saying? Mike is defensive and evasive—we’ve seen that come out a lot over the past few seasons, and it’s always been a part of his character. He’s security-oriented, initially opposed to new things. He’s afraid of instability—and his relationship with El provides him with that stability. He doesn’t want to accept that maybe their relationship is not what’s best for him or her. Because maybe that would force him to accept another truth about himself…wink wink. He’s desperate to hold onto his relationship with El—not only because it provides him with that stability, but because he is afraid of losing her for good if he breaks up with her (they have been through too much together for that to happen, but it’s a valid fear). He doesn’t want to accept the fact that their romantic love and relationship are breaking down. He doesn’t want to accept the fact that he and El are fundamentally incompatible. He doesn’t want to accept the truth. Oh yeah. The math is mathing.

“When love breaks down/The lies we tell/They only serve to fool ourselves”—Oh come on. Oh come on. Do I even need to explain???? The monologue. “You never say it.” “I say it.” Yet more evidence of Mike’s evasiveness. Mike is trying to fool himself, hide from the truth and lie his way to security. We’ll see how well this works in S5…

2: “Don’t You Want Me” by The Human League

Okay, so I was hearing a lot about this song when everyone in the Byler tag was freaking out because they changed the version of the song on Mike’s playlist (the “gay pride” album cover to the original one). People seemed to lose hope, or say that the reason they changed the versions was to make the gay implications of the song less obvious. And I kind of agree with the second point. But what a lot of people seem to be dancing around is the fact that this song is on Steve’s playlist as well. Bylers noticed this long ago, but I haven’t seen anyone share their opinion on why Mike and Steve have the same song on their playlists (correct me if someone has; I just personally haven’t read any analyses on this). But after listening to the song and analyzing the lyrics, I think I’ve finally managed to articulate my take on why this is. Let’s look at the lyrics:

“You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/When I met you/I picked you out, I shook you up/And turned you around/Turned you into someone new/Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet/Success has been so easy for you/But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now/And I can put you back down too”—Okay, so some of these lyrics are a bit more bitter than I’d like, but I think this is El from Mike’s POV. This is him directly acknowledging that she doesn’t need him anymore—not in the way she did in S1 when she was acclimating to the world outside the lab. She’s a different person than she was, and she’s growing and developing into a healthier, more independent person. I don’t think Mike is this bitter—if anything, from him speaking to Will in the van scene, I’d say he’s more afraid of El not needing him anymore than bitter about it. But the point still stands.

“Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me/Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me”—Again, I don’t think the bitterness lines up completely, but I think these lyrics raise the question of “want” versus “need.” The lyrics state that, although the narrator seems sure that the person still needs them (if we’re going to line this up with Mike, I’d call it denial), they don’t know if this person wants them. I think that’s a very important distinction to make here, that difference between needing someone and wanting someone.

“It's much too late to find/When you think you've changed your mind/You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry”—I think this is definitely foreshadowing a Mordor breakup, with El initiating it. She’s going to put her foot down, but Mike’s not going to want to take it, especially after that monologue. He’s going to try to hang on a bit more, but I think El will remain firm (her strength when it comes to letting things that are hurting her go has been showcased in S4 when she leaves Brenner).

“I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/That much is true/But even then I knew I'd find a much better place/Either with or without you/The five years we have had have been such good at times/I still love you/But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own/I guess it's just what I must do”—I think this is from El’s point of view and goddamn…this is so healthy. This is giving “amicable El-initiated breakup” vibes and I am LOVING it. She is acknowledging their history and their love for each other but saying that being in a romantic relationship is just not good for her. 100% my favorite verse in this song. LOVE IT.

…And as for why this song is on both Mike’s and Steve’s playlists. I saw a lot of people panicking and not as much recently, but for those of you who are still worried about this—don’t be. Yes, I think them changing the album cover of this song on the playlist was to make it less obvious. But when all is said and done, looking at the lyrics, this song has nothing to do with Mike’s sexuality (although I do think it’s a nice added bonus that it’s on so many gay pride playlists). This song is about people who have been together discovering that being in a romantic relationship with one another isn’t the best thing for them. One of them might try to save the relationship out of fear or desperation or a lack of stability in their life. But when I think of this song, I think the main message is “I love you. And we’ve had a good go of it. But I think we need to do what’s best for both of us and let this go so we can both move on.” And that’s why I think this is on Steve’s playlist. I wholeheartedly believe that Steve fell back on pursuing Nancy due to feeling lost in life. Season 3, he was pursuing Robin—but that didn’t end up working out romantically. And Steve does love Nancy—how that love has evolved over time is something that requires more analysis. And I really do believe that Nancy loves Steve—even if it’s never been romantic. But in the end, in my humble opinion, they simply aren’t compatible. Every time Steve was talking about his “six nuggets house with white picket fence” dreams, it was the writers trying to tell us that they aren’t compatible. Nancy is ambitious and won’t let anything stand in the way of her dreams. She’s seen how the end-of-the-cul-de-sac life has negatively impacted her mother, and she doesn’t want that for herself—even though Steve is obviously a much better person than Ted. Again, I don’t doubt that Nancy and Steve love each other. But they need different things in life, and I hope S5 will acknowledge that. And you see this reflected in Mike and El too—they love each other and care about each other deeply, but we’ve been shown again and again that they don’t work romantically. And I hope that one of the messages of S5 will be “it’s okay if it doesn’t work out romantically—that doesn’t automatically destroy your love.”

3: “Mad World” by Tears for Fears

*Trigger warning: mentions of suicide and poor mental health*

This song being on Mike’s playlist…genuinely concerns me. I know we’ve analyzed Mike’s behavior throughout the series and figured out that he shows symptoms of poor mental health, but this song really hammers that down for me. Let’s check out the lyrics (buckle up folks):

“All around me are familiar faces/Worn out places, worn out faces/Bright and early for the daily races/Going nowhere, going nowhere”—Nancy is the only one of the Wheeler kids who has outwardly acknowledged her parents’ problems and her problems with this “nuclear family” image. Mike hasn’t acknowledged it vocally or shown any indication that he understands what’s going on in his family. But this verse makes me think that he is very much aware of it—or at least he will be very soon. It calls attention to the monotony of this kind of life, and I think this might be brought up as one of Mike’s fears in S5. We know that Nancy doesn’t want this life, and I don’t think Mike does either. Maybe one of his fears that will be focused on in S5 will be repeating his parents’ mistakes and getting trapped in that life. I mean, we’ve all seen how Mike and Ted wear similar clothing…wow, this is loud.

“Their tears are filling up their glasses/No expression, no expression/Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow/No tomorrow, no tomorrow”—Damn, that’s…bleak. This is definitely referencing Mike’s home life, how there is that emotional distance and coldness and how everyone has up walls. This is really hammering down the whole “Mike is well practiced in hiding his feelings” message. We only get his true thoughts and emotions when he’s with Will (and even then, we’re not getting the full picture). We (or at least the general audience) have no clue what the fuck is going on in this guy’s head since S2–because S2 was really the last time we got a huge chunk of the show in his perspective. When it’s written from the perspective of someone else? We get zip. He’s literally been bottling up his feelings for two seasons—likely much longer. An emotional breakdown is in order…we’ll see if S5 does this justice.

“And I find it kind of funny/I find it kind of sad/The dreams in which I'm dying/Are the best I've ever had/I find it hard to tell you/I find it hard to take/When people run in circles it's a very, very/Mad world, mad world”—Whoa whoa whoa. See, this is why this song being on his playlist scared the living hell out of me. These lines have a crazy amount of suicidal implications. We know at this point that Mike feels useless when he’s not needed. He wants to be the protector. He wants to be needed. He at once has an inferiority complex and a savior complex. And that makes him way too willing to die. You see that especially when he jumps off a cliff into literal certain death (before El saves him) to save Dustin. And that scares me. We already know that his probability of being Vecna’d next season is crazy fucking high. If Vecna uses this inferiority complex against Mike…oh god, that’ll be hard to watch.

“Children waiting for the day they feel good/Happy birthday, happy birthday/And I feel the way that every child should/Sit and listen, sit and listen”—Yet another nod to the monotony of societal norms. The way kids are supposed to suck it up and “grow up”—to be appeasing to adults in order to get the happiness they deserve. There are a couple of songs in this playlist that are nods to Mike not wanting to grow up; to stay a kid. In another one of these song analyses, I mentioned how that confirms that Mike was projecting in that rain fight (“we’re not kids anymore.” “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”).

“Went to school and I was very nervous/No one knew me, no one knew me/Hello, teacher! Tell me, what's my lesson?/Look right through me, look right through me”—I listened to this song a couple of weeks ago, before I started analyzing this playlist. I already knew it was on Mike’s playlist, but I didn’t start really paying attention until these lyrics popped up. Because it reminded me a lot of the shed scene in S2. To me, the first two lines seem to be a reference to Will and their meeting on the swings. “Look right through me?” Hmmm, it almost sounds like you’re hiding something…And this is maybe a nod to the fact that Mike and Will just know each other that well. Complicated feelings and miscommunication in S3-4 aside, Mike can always tell when Will is hurting or needs help. And Will always knows that he can go to Mike for help and Mike won’t treat him differently. Damn, it’s all coming together…

4: “Telephone Operator” by Pete Shelley

Bro, all this time we’ve been talking about how Mike was actually trying to call Will in California but couldn’t get through because the line was always busy and nobody brought up the fact that this song is literally on Mike’s playlist? This song basically confirms that y’all were right???!?!? Lyrics, go!

“Telephone operator/Why can't I see you later/Telephone operator/Why can't I see you later/Tell me is it wine/That makes things so fine/Or is it 'cos you're mine”—ROMANTIC AS SHIT! And we know how Mike couldn’t possibly have been using the phone to call El, since the government was tracking the phones and she’s supposed to be in hiding. He never once mentions calling her—he hasn’t called her since S3, and in that phone call, he lied to her about Nana being dead. No, instead we get the fight between Will and Mike about Mike not calling. Not El. Will. THIS SONG IS ABOUT WILL!

“Telephone operator/You're my aural stimulator/Telephone operator/Ne c'est pas la raison d'etre/Tell me is it love/That I feel because/You're all I'm thinking of”—Again: THIS IS HELLA ROMANTIC! Joyce having a new telemarketing job. “Mike won’t stop whining about it.” THE MATH IS MATHING.

“Telephone operator/Phone you up an hour later/Telephone operator/Phoned you up an hour later/Tell me is it love/That I'm in because/I'm only thinking of you”—BOOM! Confirms that Mike was in fact trying to repeatedly call will only to have to line blocked. Can’t even believe this is on Mike’s playlist. Duffers are insane for this.

5: Machine Age Voodoo” by Spk

Y’all, Mike is getting so Vecna’d next season you don’t even know. Observe:

“Put your shoulder to the wheel/Use your muscle, nerves of steel/Strike it hot, make a hit/Beat the livin' out of it”—I’m thinking giant battle against Vecna S5! Mike’s gonna be in the final battle, y’all. This will be absolutely epic and I can’t wait 😜

“Feel the power in your soul/Feel the rhythm in your bones/Raise the pulse are you ready/To let your body go”—Whoa there pal…you had me up until “let your body go.” Could that mean what I think it does? Could this hint at Mike getting Vecna’d, I wonder?

“Feel the magic of the dance/Let your mind slip in a trance/Everybody everybody get together/In ritual celebration”—Hehehehehe WHAT. Damn, Duffers, don’t be too blatant or anything…A mention of the mind slipping into a trance? Trance? TRANCE? Oh yeah. Mike is getting so hella Vecna’d next season it’s not even funny. If he doesn’t, after this song, after the buildup of us not knowing what the fresh fuck is going on in that boy’s head for over two seasons, I will be confused. I will be genuinely baffled.

“Feel the power in your soul/Feel the rhythm in your bones/Raise the pulse are you ready/To let your body go”—I wonder if this could hint to Mike hearing music (“rhythm in your bones”) and pulling on inner strength to fight off the trance (“feel the power in your soul”). Might be far-fetched, but I’m also wondering if “raising the pulse” could be another heart reference (if Mike is the heart here). Another hint to him getting out alive? I hope so…

6: “Every Day is Halloween” by Ministry

Okay, so I was initially very happy that we got not one, but two references to Halloween on Mike’s playlist. My guess is that it’s his favorite holiday, but the Byler implications…*cough crazy together cough.* That was before I looked at the lyrics—and goddamn, the implications run way deeper than just Halloween…

“'Cause to me everyday is Halloween/I have given up hiding and started to fight/I have started to fight”—Hmmm, a lot of songs on this playlist have mentioned “stop hiding/running away”and “face the truth.” And fight against what, one might ask? Societal pressures and norms? Internalized homophobia? Who’s to say…

“Oh, why can't I live a life for me?/Why should I take the abuse that's served/Why can't they see they're just like me/It's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world”—Wow, that’s…incredibly queercoded, right? I’m not the only one seeing this? Not only the queercoding, but also the “why can’t I live a life for me” line. I mentioned (when I talked about “Mad World”) that I think Mike either is or will become aware of the effects of social pressures and norms on his family, and he is afraid of falling into that trap. This line makes me think of “It’s My Life,” another song on Mike’s playlist. The lyrics kind of stumped me, but the title tells its own story.

“Well, I let their teeny minds think/That they're dealing with someone who is over the brink/And I dress this way just to keep them at bay/'Cause Halloween is everyday, hey”—I wonder if the intention of including this song was using Halloween as a metaphor for a weapon against widespread homophobia. I feel like D&D has kind of become this metaphor as well—not necessarily just against homophobia, but the whole party uses the game as a fantastical escape from the prejudices of the outside world. Also, Mike Wheeler self-acceptance arc WHEN???

“I'm not the one that's so absurd/(Why can't I live a life for me? Oh) Why hide it? Why fight it?/(No! Why should I?) Hurt feelings, best to stop feeling hurt/From denials (oh), reprisals/It's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world”—Again…hella queercoded. “Why hide it?” “Denials?” “Best to stop feeling hurt?” Definitely a nod to Mike having those emotional walls up. Wow. Just…this song. On his playlist. The guts. No more words for this. Just my applause.

7: “Make No Mistake” by Psyche

I hope y’all were looking for more proof that Mike is going to have an emotional breakdown next season, because you’ve got it. This song is also another big chunk of evidence suggesting that Mike gets Vecna’d in S5.

“Got to drop the pressure/Get on the right train/Forget the payback system/That ain’t no way to gain”—This is making me think that Mike will learn to let go of societal pressures in S5 and realize that trying to conform will not get him anywhere. Hmmm, “getting on the right train” making me think that he will end up going in the right direction, and it’s also another nod to the “running away” motif…

“Feeling out of sorts/Don’t want to let it end/I feel like I’m overloading/You got me down on my knees/I want to pull the trigger/But I can’t find the release”—Oh hell yeah, this is giving extreme “Mike Wheeler Emotional Breakdown” vibes and I’m absolutely LOVING it. I can’t believe this is actually on his playlist; y’all have been saying this for MONTHS! I notice the use of second person here (“you got me down on my knees”) and of course my biased Byler ass is going to assume it’s about Will—but don’t worry, I have proof this time. Wait until the end to find out…

“You’d better stay out of sight”—This reminds me of both Max hiding behind a gravestone in the Vecna trance in the cemetery and Will hiding from the Demogorgon (or possibly Vecna) in the UD in S1. Again the use of second person (presumably Will) making me think that this might have something to do with Vecna and Mike wanting to keep this person safe.

“When they’re knocking on your door/Look around the corner/They’re rotten to the core”—I’m thinking this is about Vecna (because of the previous verse), but it could also easily be a metaphor for heteronormativity and societal homophobia.

“Waiting in the dark/Nowhere to hide/Try to hold your hands/The fear at its side”—This kind of reminds me of the cabin scene and Mike reaching out to Will’s light from his patch of darkness. If that scene is foreshadowing (which we all strongly suspect it is), what are the implications for S5? I think this is alluding to Mike getting Vecna’d and reaching out for Will, especially with the “nowhere to hide” and “the fear at its side” lines.

“Feel it coming your way now/Riding in the light/Ain’t no escape”—Oooooh, I see another reference to light. “Riding in the light” sounding like Max’s “hiding in the light…” Will being bathed in sunlight during his heart-to-hearts with Mike…

I mean, if I’m being honest, this analysis could have gone in Part 1, if it weren’t for “Breakdown” by Tom Petty being on Will’s playlist. If the title alone wasn’t enough to make you do a double-take, observe the lyrics:

“It's alright if you love me/It's alright if you don't/I'm not afraid of you running away/Honey, I get the feeling, you won't”

“There is no sense in pretending/Your eyes give you away/Something inside you is feeling like I do/We've said all there is to say”

“Baby/Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me/Breakdown, honey take me through the night/Breakdown, now I'm standing here, can you see?/Breakdown, it's alright”

I’m sorry…WHAT THE FUCK? This is NOT giving “sad gay boy in love with his straight best friend trope” vibes. Fuck no. This is giving “beautiful requited love” vibes!!! And again I say, damn, spoil the entirety of S5 why dontcha? This song matches too well with the song on Mike’s playlist—don’t try and tell me that wasn’t intentional! Duffers are lowkey crazy for this.

8: “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat

Don’t even need to explain ❤️ 🏳️‍🌈

(But if you’re new to the tag and haven’t been exposed to this song feel free to ask!)

#byler #byler analysis #mike wheeler

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