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whumpster-fire · 2 years

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Wolverine

Hey guys, I finally turned some of my His Dark Materials into a fic! Published on AO3 here, or on Tumblr below the cut.

Tagging @ziptiesnfries bc you’re into daemon whump and stuff so I thought you might like it

Summary: The plan fell apart when Pan bit down, and the monkey’s scream rang in his ears, and he tasted blood in his jaws, and he was almost sick. He just barely had the presence of mind to not let go completely and let him get away. Mrs. Coulter was on her knees from the pain and Pan wanted to scream for Lyra to just grab the alethiometer now while she had a chance, but she wasn’t moving, couldn’t move, and Pan was so close to freezing too. It took every ounce of strength, every ounce of willpower, he had to keep fighting like this. It took every ounce of willpower he and Lyra had put together.

Pantalaimon's POV of the confrontation and fight with Mrs. Coulter in Charles Latrom's basement, and the aftermath.

Spoilers for the show up to S2E5

Content Warnings/Tags: Daemon whump, minor whump, vomiting, consensual daemon touching, mention of past nonconsensual daemon touching and child abuse

Lyra Belacqua – no, Silvertongue now, never again Belacqua - stood face to face with her mother, frozen, rooted to the spot, tears of fear and rage running down her face.

And her daemon, Pantalaimon, stood beside her, fighting the urge to look away from the piercing glare of the Golden Monkey, or tuck his tail under, or take the form of a mouse and crawl up Lyra’s trouser leg to the safety of her pocket. It wasn’t a warm night in Cittagaze, but the polished marble floor of Charles Latrom’s basement somehow felt far colder against the paws of his red panda form.

This was wrong – this was all wrong! Why was Mrs. Coulter here? Why was he here? In this world – Latrom, or Boreal, was from their world too, so there must have been a way – but here?

The plan had seemed so simple, so impossible to go wrong. Go to the door, distract Latrom, get him out of the room so Will could grab the alethiometer, then… Pan didn’t know what exactly the plan was next. Go to the basement with him and make a run for the window that would still be open with Will waiting on the other side? Run for the window outside that he’d cut her through? They’d changed it at the last minute to make sure Latrom wasn’t waiting in the basement when Will cut in, and they hadn’t had a chance to talk about what Lyra and Pan would do after he got it. Pan had a couple ideas, and he was sure Lyra did too, but right now he couldn’t even remember them, and it didn’t matter because it had all fallen apart. All he could do was try to keep his breathing even, and try to keep standing straight and not limp or list towards the side with the bruised ribs. The side where Tullio had kicked him.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. They’d thought about what would happen if they were caught by Mrs. Coulter again, they’d talked and planned how they would fight her, how Pan would fight the monkey, with all the bravado of children planning their next war in the streets of Oxford. Which they’d been until so recently. Pan was going to change forms so fast the monkey could never get a grip on him. It seemed so easy when Mrs. Coulter was hundreds of miles away, and when they still believed the great taboo was absolute and inviolable.

Mrs. Coulter had tears in her eyes too, and she was trying to lace her voice with the usual honey. “Lyra, you are special.” Pan was sure that part was truthful. “I am only trying to protect you.” And that part, he knew was a lie, because of the look on her daemon’s face.

No. Maybe in some twisted idea of protection like how cutting a child apart was supposed to protect them from Dust, or Sin, or whatever the grown-ups wanted to call it. But Pantalaimon knew, with a dreadful certainty, that if they didn’t get away, if Mrs. Coulter had them in her grasp, she was going to hurt them. Not kill them, not sever them, but Pan didn’t know if the monkey would stop at twisting his ears this time, and the monkey wasn’t the only one he was worried about.

When she offered the alethiometer, held it out so close, almost in reach, Pan wanted to scream to Lyra to just grab it and run, but his throat was so dry he couldn’t make a sound. He was so tempted to turn into a bird and try to snatch it. It seemed so easy, but after what Mrs. Coulter’s colleagues had done in Bolvangar, he didn’t trust for a moment that she wouldn’t just grab him or swat him out of the air. Especially right now, with his chest aching from a blow a human had struck.

Somewhere on the other side of the room, Will was trying to fend off Lord Boreal’s daemon. He didn’t seem to realize that she couldn’t touch him – wouldn’t touch him. She wouldn’t, right? They were bluffing, they had to be bluffing, because this world had no daemons so Will would just see a snake slithering after him, and not… know how it would feel if she touched him. She couldn’t possibly be crazy enough to… could she?

The slightest change in the monkey’s posture and Pan tensed. A hint of a snarl crossed his lips. This form couldn’t have been intimidating, but he didn’t know what else to be. He was sure Coulter’s daemon would spring any second, would probably wait for the moment when he changed forms, and… Mrs. Coulter would too. She knew how to fight people, she knew how to hurt people, and she was a grown-up and bigger and taller than Lyra. Pan imagined the fight before the other way round, with his Lyra pinned against the cold marble, her arm twisted behind her back, Mrs. Coulter’s nails digging into her ear or her neck or wrenching her hair back. The anger and frustration of how helpless he’d felt when the monkey attacked him before, and how – how Coulter treated her daemon like a tool. No, how she treated all daemons like tools. Neither she nor the monkey had ever said a word to him, he was just a way of hurting Lyra.

He’d have run, he’d have turned into a bird and retreated to the edges of the room, out of the monkey’s reach, to stop her from doing that again. But if she used Lyra to hurt him… that couldn’t happen. That couldn’t happen. No – it had to be him. He had to be the one to fight, because Lyra couldn’t change shape, but he could.

Pantalaimon wanted to sink his teeth into the golden monkey’s ear and wrench it off, to become a wildcat and rake his claws across that hateful face. He was just waiting for Lyra to make a grab for the alethiometer or give some sort of signal, but he was about to give up on waiting. No, he’d been overpowered so easily even as a wildcat. Larger forms always felt clumsy to him, and he only really took them to frighten and impress. But there were times when a fight had been more serious than the quarrels of barbarian children, when they’d drawn the ire of some older kids and their daemons looked like they were used to the snarling dog and wolf forms they’d taken. Pan had always taken the form of a young snow leopard then, the form of Lord Asriel’s daemon, because he and Lyra always imagined them fighting off Tartar soldiers and their wolf daemons on their expeditions to the north.

But this time, he couldn’t. He was trying to change form even before Lyra’s snarl told him she was ready for whatever they were going to do, but her words before that kept ringing in his head, and he saw Stelmaria with Salcilia’s small body hanging limp in her jaws, and he felt sick. Lyra was right, she was nothing like Mrs. Coulter, and he didn’t want to be anything like Stelmaria, or like the monkey, either. But he had to do something , he had to fight, he wanted to fight back like Iorek had fought Iofur.

And remembering Iorek Byrnison’s battle was what made Pan take the form he did. He sort of wanted to be a bear, but a bear was too big, he’d become a dragon the size of a wolfhound once but nothing larger than that. He didn’t really think about the transformation, it just happened as he lunged. A creature he’d only seen stuffed in a museum or a hall of biology, like a small bear, but with a bit of the ermine and ferret and marten forms that somehow always felt comfortable to him. A wolverine.

But that plan fell apart too. Not because it all went wrong, but because it went way more right than he ever expected it to. Pan lunged and clawed and bit like his life depended on it, but he was sure that in another second the golden monkey would be clinging to his back twisting his ears and gouging at his eyes just like before. Deep down he never really expected to find himself winning the fight, and definitely not that it would be this easy. It fell apart when Pan bit down, and the monkey’s scream rang in his ears, and he tasted blood in his jaws, and he was almost sick. He just barely had the presence of mind to not let go completely and let him get away. Mrs. Coulter was on her knees from the pain and Pan wanted to scream for Lyra to just grab the alethiometer now while she had a chance, but she wasn’t moving, couldn’t move, and Pan was so close to freezing too. It took every ounce of strength, every ounce of willpower, he had to keep fighting like this. It took every ounce of willpower he and Lyra had put together. He was hurting Coulter’s daemon, he knew he was hurting him and he was trying to hurt him, he wanted to hurt him, but Pan couldn’t help but remember Iorek Byrnison’s muzzle dripping crimson, white fur and snow stained with blood. Iofur’s jaw ripped away, his heart torn from his chest… a Tartar soldier’s wolf daemon’s chest exploding into white fire from a single swipe of the Panserbjørn’s massive paw.

Pantalaimon knew that right now he had the same power to end a life that Iorek Byrnison had. If he seized the monkey’s head, or neck, in the right place, one bite could crush his skull or snap his neck. One bite and there could be nothing but Dust in his jaws, and Mrs. Coulter would crumple to the ground dead. The knowledge terrified him. He wasn’t Iorek. Lyra wasn’t Iorek. That wasn’t who they were. They weren’t meant for this. He couldn’t do it. All he could do was lie, because that was who they were, that was what they were good at. Keep clawing, keep biting down on only skin, and shaking and twisting and drawing blood even though it made his stomach turn, keep tackling him and throwing him against the wall, pretending that he was trying to kill him and not just keep Mrs. Coulter distracted. Either until Lyra did something or Will did something or – he was half expecting Mrs. Coulter to go after him, to try to kick him away the same as Tullio had, but if she did then he could make a run for it.

At some point he got the monkey pinned under his weight. He wasn’t sure what happened next, only that he heard Will scream, and he almost lost his nerve and let go. Not out of fear or disgust this time, because a searing anger consumed everything else. He was ready to charge across the room and seize Lord Boreal’s daemon and rip her apart, or – or damn the taboo , he knew he couldn’t attack a human, that no amount of fear or anger could keep the shock and pain and revulsion from sapping his strength, but he still felt like he could tear the man’s hand off. Pan planted his paw against the monkey’s back and the scruff of his neck in his teeth and pulled.

He heard Will shouting something, shouting that they had to go, but Pan didn’t know what was happening until he felt Lyra running, felt her getting too far from him, and he looked up and saw the window. For a moment he was terrified that Will would shut it too soon, and – he didn’t want to think about what would happen if he was on one side and Lyra was on the other. Would it be like the silver guillotine? Or would they just be dead? Like Roger and Salcilia?

When they made it through together and Will closed the window just in time to stop the monkey from following them – just in time that whatever would have happened didn’t happen to Mrs. Coulter - Pan’s wolverine form crumbled. He changed through several others as he staggered along the cobblestone streets. The red panda, the arctic fox, the mongoose he was thinking of changing into before when he almost went after Boreal’s daemon, a hare, a wildcat, an ermine, and finally a pine marten, but they all felt oddly uncomfortable, and the metallic taste of blood never left his mouth. Neither he nor Lyra said a word all the way back to the house they were staying in.

Pantalaimon made it about five steps over the threshold before he was sick all over the smooth, cold tile.

“Are you all right?” Lyra asked as she wiped the vomit from Pan’s muzzle with a damp dishcloth. Pan shuddered. He hated this so much. Daemons didn’t need food, of course, but if Lyra was sick usually he was as well, and something always came up that resembled whatever she’d eaten. Which was probably better than the pain of dry heaving, but it was still awful. The one time Lyra and Roger had stolen the bottle of brandy was probably the worst. He didn’t know how they’d even choked it down in the first place. This time, though, he was the only one who’d actually been sick. The sensation of nausea was shared, but the taste of blood wasn’t.

“Did he hurt you?” she asked like they couldn’t feel each other’s pain, like she didn’t know that he had. The Golden Monkey had fought back, Pan just… hadn’t cared at the time. Or that much now. He’d definitely been clawed and bitten, and it was painful, but not the worst thing that had happened since yesterday.

“I think I hurt him worse,” Pan answered, his voice shaking. “I almost… I almost hurt him way worse.” He tried to change the subject. “Will’s hurt worse than us. I mean besides… the fingers. Latrom did something to him -”

“I know,” Lyra said flatly.

“We should check on him.” Will was upstairs. He’d been worried about them, but Lyra had told him to just go, they’d be fine, they’d be up soon, on her way to gag over the kitchen sink.

“I know. I’ve got to see to you first.” She stood up, steadying herself on the chair a little, and hunted around the cupboards for something.

“You don’t have to.” Pan crouched, and tried to jump onto the counter, but his chest exploded with pain, and his leap fell short. He got his front paws on it, but his back ones scrabbled on the cabinet as he gritted his teeth and tried not to cry out. Lyra’s face contorted, and she rushed to help him up, then stood leaning against the counter. Her face was pale and sweat beaded on it. She gave him a look that needed no words. Did she? “I don’t think anything’s broken,” he said defensively. “Not like when you fell off those dustbins climbing onto the roof and hit the edge of the flower bed.” That had been a few years ago, and it was the longest Lyra had stayed off the roofs. Mostly stayed off the roofs.

Lyra resumed her search, and found the saucer she was looking for. She filled it with water and set it on the counter with shaky hands. Pan lapped at it a bit, just to get rid of the taste of bile. Then some more, because his mouth was parched.

“That isn’t what I mean.” Lyra opened another cabinet and grabbed a mug for herself. She swished the water around, grimaced, and spit it out. The water here had a funny taste. “Pan, I’m… sorry I acted like Mrs. Coulter. That I used you like a… like a weapon!”

Pan winced. “You aren’t anything like her and you know it,” he said vehemently. “She didn’t just… use her daemon like a weapon, she used me like one to hurt you! ”

“So? What I did – what we did en’t any different!”

“No – it’s not – I mean it is!” Pan’s head was still spinning. He pressed his forehead against the cold metal of the sink basin, trying to get the tangled rat’s nest of thoughts in order. Lyra was right that they’d done the same thing, and it felt like they had, but he knew that it was different. “It’s not the same because… you’re not like she is with her daemon. We lived with her for months and I don’t even know his name!”

He and Lyra exchanged a glance of shocked realization. Not at Mrs. Coulter’s treatment of her daemon, not at his unnerving silence. They’d noticed that soon after they met her. But the thought hadn’t occurred to Pan until that moment that Mrs. Coulter had wanted Lyra to become like her – that she wanted Pan to become like the golden monkey. It hadn’t occurred to him that she only spoke to Lyra, because it wasn’t uncommon for humans to avoid speaking to daemons other than their own and vice versa. But he’d felt it. Mrs. Coulter had been stricter about that rule than anyone at Oxford, or any of the Gyptians, or Lee Scoresby or Iorek. She’d said it was part of etiquette in her circles, which would become Lyra’s circles soon enough.

She didn’t get angry , not openly at least, but if Pan said anything to her she’d either ignore it entirely, or gently correct them, and not answer until Lyra repeated it, and the monkey would just give him a look that made it clear that he was supposed to be quiet. He hadn’t thought about it before, but even after they got away from her flat, even now, Pan hadn’t stopped feeling that twinge of nervousness whenever he spoke above a whisper when other humans were around, even to Lyra. He hadn’t followed the rule with other grownups while they were living with Mrs. Coulter, of course, because it was a stupid rule and breaking grownups’ stupid rules came naturally to him and Lyra. But after the monkey’s attack, and after Bolvangar, after seeing the nurses and natural philosophers’ daemons be just as cold and nearly as silent, and now having to hide himself from everyone in Will’s world, he felt more and more self-conscious, but these strange worlds where people carried their souls inside them felt more and more lonely.

Pan shuddered. “You’re not like that,” he repeated. “You didn’t use me. I wanted to attack him. To hurt him. I was going to do it if you didn’t even say anything, I was just… so scared I couldn’t move.”

His breath caught in his throat and his sight clouded with tears, but Lyra forced herself to smile weakly. “I’m sorry I ever called you a coward, Pan.” She stroked his forehead and neck, and he leaned into her touch, then crawled into her arms. “I wanted to hit her too, but I… I wanted to be like her, just to… to show her what it felt like to have that done to her. I thought it would feel good, somehow, but it didn’t.”

“I know.” Pan thought for a moment of becoming an ermine and curling up on her shoulder, or in the crook of her elbow, like he often did in moments when they needed comfort. But right now, he didn’t want to be that small, that vulnerable. This form was somewhere in between the ermine and the wolverine and the wildcat – the ferret was too, but he didn’t know if he could ever take that form again without being reminded of all the times he and Salcilia would play together as ferrets. “It felt awful,” he choked out. “I don’t ever want to do that again.” He tried to say what he’d felt, like he was being pulled in half between the rage and hurt and fear of what Mrs. Coulter would do in one direction, and the fear that he could kill her in the other, but his throat tightened until the only sound he could make was a soft whimper that he muffled in Lyra’s shirt because he didn’t want Will to hear. The last thing Will needed was to be worrying about them.

Lyra’s hand brushed over his ear again, but touched a place he’d been bitten or scratched. Pan winced, and Lyra winced, and he had a vague, muted sense of wetness against his paw pad. He was lifted and set back on the counter, and the way she lifted him made his chest hurt, and -

“Oh, Pan, you’re bleeding!” There was a small spot of blood on Lyra’s finger. Pan’s stomach twisted.

“He just scratched me a little. Come on, you’ve gotten way worse scrapes and cuts and I haven’t complained -”

“Yes you have, you told me I was trying to get us killed after the car -”

Pan tried to change the subject. “That’s not what I meant – Lyra, we’re… we’re still in one piece. Will’s… not. Fussing over me’s just selfish.”

Lyra opened her mouth to speak, closed it, and then sighed and wiped the blood off on her shirt. “I think I’ll make some coffee,” she said after an uncomfortable silence. “It’s s’posed to help headaches, right? Maybe it’ll do something for his hand.”

“Maybe,” Pan agreed. He lay down on his side gingerly. “Please just… only for Will. Don’t drink any. I don’t want to feel all… jittery right now.” He was still trembling a little, and his heart was going faster than it should have in this form.

“I don’t want to either. I won’t right now, but if we have to keep watch all night, I might have to.”

They couldn’t keep watch all night, Pan thought, coffee or no coffee. They must have nodded off at some point last night, but it didn’t feel like they’d slept at all. They’d spent most of it tossing and turning and worrying that Will was going to bleed to death because his missing fingers wouldn’t stop bleeding, or thinking about Giacomo Paradisi, or about what they would have to do today and what if Latrom moved the alethiometer somewhere else, or what if he had it under guard, or something else went wrong. And yet he’d never thought of how it actually had gone wrong . It still felt like the day of the fight in the tower had never ended, but at the same time it felt like weeks had passed.

Pantalaimon was left to his thoughts again, to Mrs. Coulter and the monkey and Bolvangar. He’d never thought about what it was she and the Magisterium wanted to accomplish with the severing operation, all he knew was that it was wrong. But her chilling words sliced back into his mind. “Like a pet, the most wonderful pet.” Pan’s fur stood on end, and he wanted to be sick all over again. She’d saved them from the silver guillotine because the procedure didn’t work the way she wanted it to, it destroyed the poor children they tested it on because of course it did. But was what she wanted really just to keep Dust, away, or was it that she wanted daemons to… not be daemons anymore? To make them voiceless, subservient, not truly one half of a person. He had a horrible, terrifying feeling that there was a subtler kind of cutting , not with metal and anbaric current but with every little word and gesture… that this had been done to her and the golden monkey or she’d done it herself, and that was what she’d been trying to do to Lyra, and to him.

“It’s no use!” Lyra groaned and snapped the alethiometer’s case shut. She slumped against the wall, holding her hand to her forehead. “I can’t make any sense of it, the symbols are just… swimming!”

“Lyra, you don’t have to use it now.” Will had a towel wrapped around his bandaged hand and was trying to keep pressure on it. “We’re not going anywhere tonight anyway. Let’s just get some sleep… or try to anyway.”

Will and Lyra both had dark bags under their eyes. Pan had a pounding, hammering headache, which meant Lyra must have too. He’d returned to his red panda form before they came upstairs, and was sprawled on the bed beside Lyra.

“Is your hand any better?” Lyra asked.

“Not… really.” Will’s face contorted in pain. He unwrapped the towel, grimaced, and set it on his lap. “I think it almost stopped bleeding before, but Latrom must’ve torn the wounds back open when he twisted it.” He rubbed his forearm with his good hand. “Prick. You know, I heard in Biology class that losing a body part doesn’t hurt as much as you’d expect because the nerves that send the pain signals are all gone, or something… total rubbish.”

“Do you think you should see a doctor?”

“Lyra, the police are after me. If I went to A&E I’d be arrested. You’d be too, probably, now they know you’re with me.”

“I know that, I’m just trying to think… is there a way you could open a window somewhere else, where they wouldn’t think to look?”

“I don’t think so. Every spot in this world’s connected to the same spot in another world. We’d have to travel in this one, and… getting the distance right to cut into Latrom’s basement’s one thing, but we’d have to go hundreds of miles! We could just end up in the middle of the North Sea.”

“I know, that’s what Giacomo told you, but it can’t be all right to the same spot. Lord Asriel’s bridge is in Svalbard, and it brought me here, but there’s a window to your Oxford.” Her brow furrowed in concentration, but Pan had the idea first.

“Wait – Lyra! What if Will closed the window in the gardens – the one Latrom’s been using, and Mrs. Coulter! They’d be stuck in this world!”

“If they’re still in this world,” Will muttered. “And they haven’t come to this one looking for us.” He looked directly at Pan as he spoke, and Pan’s eyes automatically flinched away from his. “You can talk to me, you know,” the boy added.

“Sorry,” Pan said past the tension in his throat. “It’s just...” he exchanged a glance with Lyra. He wasn’t up to explaining about Mrs. Coulter right now, and he didn’t think she was either. “Never mind.”

“Well, if they do come to this world they wouldn’t be able to get back to yours, would they?” Lyra pointed out.

“And then what?” said Will. “Charles Latrom, antiquities collector, suddenly disappears without a trace? I don’t think that’d make the police call off the manhunt.”

“No… you’re right.” Lyra slapped her hand against the mattress in frustration. “There’s got to be other ways of getting somewhere, though. Somewhere in your world, or in mine, or...” Lyra’s eyes lit up. “Wait, that’s it! Will, Latrom’s been here since before the bridge was opened! That means there’s got to be another way to my world, and I’ll bet it’s to my England. They’ll be looking for me there, but they won’t know about you, so...” She scowled, and her grip on the blanket tightened in frustration. Pan unconsciously dug his claws into the bedclothes too. “No, that won’t work. You haven’t got a daemon, they’d be bound to ask questions...”

“We’ll think of something,” Will said without any confidence in his voice. His good hand shook a little as he reached for the bloody bandage. “Maybe we’d better… see how it looks. And tomorrow, if we cut into my world, I can look up supplies while I stay hidden, and you can...” Will’s words turned into a hiss of pain as he tried to unwrap his fingers. He swore under his breath, almost curling in on himself and clutching his wrist. “I can’t...” he gasped. “I can’t.”

Pan looked uneasily at Lyra. He knew she wasn’t any happier with the plan than he was. It wasn’t going to work. None of them wanted to admit that the wound was getting bad, and they didn’t know what to do about it. Whatever treatment any of them could come up with wasn’t enough, Will needed a doctor, a hospital. But the only person he might not get arrested for talking to was Dr. Malone, and she wasn’t the right kind.

Will was fumbling trying to wrap his hand back up now. The boy’s forehead glistened with sweat, and his eyes had teared up. It was obvious to Pan that he was trying to keep a brave face, and not show how frightened he was or how much pain he was in, because he and Lyra had done the same so much recently.

But it was wrong. Will shouldn’t have had to endure that alone. His daemon should have been by his side. He wasn’t like the severed children, empty and lifeless, and Pan could sense that there was something there. His soul was invisible and formless, and somehow inside him. He was whole, but he was alone , in a way that nobody in Pantalaimon’s world could be, except a witch or a bear. His daemon should have been able to lie on his chest and use her weight to calm his fast, uneven breathing, or lick her own paw where her human’s wounds were and soothe both of their pain without disturbing bandages or delicate scabs, and Will should have been able to hold her close to his breast and stroke her fur and let himself be distracted by comforting her.

And Pan should have been able to do something too, more than just words. He should have been able to curl around Will’s daemon, and groom her fur or feathers, just the same as Lyra could put her hand on Will’s shoulder or squeeze his hand. But his daemon wasn’t there. Didn’t exist. That must have been why Pan felt the same frightening, dangerous urge he knew Lyra had felt because there was no way to hide feelings that strong from each other, when she was with the caged daemons locked away at Bolvangar. It felt like a betrayal of himself, and of Lyra, that he could even consider it, especially when he knew why the great taboo was so sacred and so absolute. But the thought kept coming back ever since the fight over the knife, no matter how many times he pushed it away, relentless as the clockwork heart of the spy-fly that had been sealed in the tobacco tin.

Pan’s heart raced, and he folded his ears as he tiptoed closer, under the pretense of sniffing to try and tell whether Will’s wound was infected. Even this close he wanted to bolt and hide in Lyra’s clothes as a mouse. But something made him stay there, trying to hide that he was trembling, and his ribs ached because just yesterday he’d been touched, he’d been struck , and he wasn’t really that sure that nothing was broken, and yet he was still doing this.

Because if people in Will’s world carried their souls inside them, then how else could their souls touch? And maybe because right now Pan wanted another daemon to curl around him and lick the wounds where the monkey had bitten and clawed him, because even if he’d won the fight this time Mrs. Coulter’s daemon had still hurt him again. And because it had happened twice now, in the fortress beneath the snow and in the sunlit tower, and some part of him had to know if it always had to hurt.

“Pan – what are you doing?” Lyra gasped.

And Pantalaimon took a deep breath, and leaned forward, and touched his forehead against Will’s wrist.

Neither he nor Lyra could speak or move until Will had withdrawn his arm sharply and was stammering that he hadn’t meant to, that he’d been lying against the wall with his eyes closed and he was sure he hadn’t moved but he was sorry.

But it hadn’t hurt. It had still felt like an anbaric shock, like sliding and rolling on a carpet and then touching a doorknob with the tip of his nose, like flying up as far as he could above Lyra’s head and then becoming a creature that couldn’t fly and feeling his stomach turn over as he plummeted towards the ground. But not the horrible cold, clammy sensation like something slimy was gripping and twisting his insides into knots. It felt… almost warm somehow, like lying close to a fireplace and letting the heat soak into his fur until it was almost painful and his skin started to prickle and tingle.

“Sorry,” Pan said awkwardly,” mostly to Lyra, then again to Will. “I wasn’t thinking – did it – hurt you?” It suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t know what it felt like for a human to touch another’s daemon, because of course Lyra wouldn’t because she would never do that, and he didn’t care what it felt like for the men who’d restrained him and picked him up by the scruff, or the boy who’d kicked him in the ribs, if it hurt them that was just what they deserved.

“No. It felt – not bad, it didn’t hurt but – aren’t you not supposed to do that?”

“You’re not.” Lyra nodded and stared blankly across the room. Pan padded back to her and collapsed into her lap, his vision shimmering with tears. This time it hadn’t been bad, but the sensation was still so overwhelming, and after everything else that had happened tonight he just felt drained. “It’s the worst feeling in the world. The worst thing I’ve ever – that we’ve ever felt. At least… it was before.” She held Pan tightly, and this time he became an ermine and burrowed into the crook of her arm.

“Lyra, I’m sorry.” Pan still couldn’t keep the tears back, and her sleeve was damp against his forehead. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It was like the -”

“Like the cages,” she finished the sentence for him in a dull monotone.

“I just wanted to do something to – to help someone instead of hurting them or putting them in danger!” Something in Pan’s heart gave way, and thoughts he hadn’t known he had, or at least hadn’t put into words until now, came tumbling out of his mouth. “Will wouldn’t have gotten hurt if we hadn’t trusted Latrom, we’ve gotten the police set on Dr. Malone – we got Roger and Salcilia killed because they stayed with us instead of going home with the Gyptians!” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “And now I’ve gotten you hurt too.” Lyra’s grip on him tightened, but Pan tensed, and wriggled out of her arms, and immediately felt furious with himself for doing it. He met Will’s shocked, uncomfortable eyes for a second and turned away, curling into a ball and trying to burrow into the blanket. What was he thinking, what was he thinking? If it was rude for a daemon to speak to other humans, it was much worse for human and daemon to argue like this in the company of others. “Maybe Mrs. Coulter’s right about us...” he couldn’t bear to say the rest out loud because it wasn’t just a lie, it was wrong, and he didn’t know why he was even thinking it, and saying it would only hurt Lyra worse. Maybe she was right about them. They were as good at twisting people around them and ruining their lives as she was, and maybe she was right about daemons. Not in the way it would sound like he meant if he said it, but maybe he should have kept his mouth shut, he shouldn’t have tried to fight for the both of them, because in the end Mrs. Coulter had just used him to hurt Lyra anyway.

“Pan, don’t say that!” Lyra gathered him up in her arms and held him in her lap, petting him with shaking hands. The sobbing tremor in her voice only made him feel worse. She tried to compose herself for a few breaths, then gave up. “You didn’t hurt me. I wish you could’ve warned me before you did that, but… I don’t think it’s wrong that you did.”

She held him there for a while, and Pan’s trembling slowly stopped. “Well… now we know, I s’pose,” she said. She leaned forward, and for a moment Pan though he would fall. She reached out and squeezed Will’s good hand. “We’ll think of something in the morning. I think me going to get supplies is a good plan, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Will mumbled. He sat up a little straighter in the bed, but his eyes were bleary. “Uhh… are you okay?”

“We’re fine. We just… need to sleep.” Lyra stood up unsteadily. Pan shook himself back awake, because they were both close to passing out. “Good night, Will.” She took a step, then paused and turned. “Did the coffee help at all?��

“A little.”

#my writing #whump #daemon whump #daemon touching tw #His Dark materials fandom #Lyra Silvertongue Belacqua #Pantalaimon #minor whump tw

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padfootastic · 2 years

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2, 3, 9, 14 and 16 for the deep fic writer asks

ooooh thank u for the asks :”))

2. What’s a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

hm. i- don’t think there’s one that i’ve posted that fits this. but there’s one in my drafts that’s like,,,sirius being jerked around by both james and lily in a j/s-l/s scenario which is like max whump. uh, that one was…hard, both because of how i’m hurting sirius and because there’s some irl stuff i projected in there lol. there’s another amnesiac!sirius fic where it’s just…really sad ykno? the research, the writing, and the immersion—all of it.

3. What fic are you emotionally attached to?

i answered this one here! adding on to it to say that i’m a big fan of my harry’s postwar tattoos fic too. it spiralled way out of my control but i like how it came out in the end 🙈

9. What’s your writing process like?

ooo 2 answers for this. i have a bunch of prompts in my notes app (which is where i do all my writing)—usually random stuff see in a fic that i like/dislike, or if i get annoyed by something and wanna change it. sometimes it’s a bit of dialogue, sometimes a specific scene. with all my oneshots, it’s usually pretty linear. i start at the beginning and end when it ends. i do not spend more than a second thinking of what comes next, the page & i are finding out at the same time. even the 2/3 chapters ones which started off as oneshots and end up spiralling.

for a longfic tho, i’m currently working on one and it’s such a chaotic process i have no clue what i’m doing lol. i started off with a point of divergence from canon (why/what/how), wrote a list of scenes i wanted in it, managed to do a rough, if incomplete, chapter outline. there’s a doc with timeline and dates & some character motivations. i made a discord channel for it where i keep punting random ideas & scenes & bits and pieces. it’s genuinely become a beast i don’t know how to handle atp. like the original premise was super simple & straightforward and now there’s like…plot and stuff. the outline is like hydra—i tick off one scene, and three more crop up. i’ve had to migrate all my writing to gdocs so i could put it all in an outline that somewhat makes sense. now, i do all of it entirely non-chronologically, just adding bits wherever i feel like it. sometimes i leave a sentence hanging mid-word. it’s completely lawless.

i’m considering doing another draft of it where i just…write. like chronologically, without any thoughts or outline, whatever comes out. i fear i might have stabbed myself in the foot with too much organisation/thinking 💀 maybe that’ll help?

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

boy do i ever. almost always negatively, especially since i started interacting in fandom thru discord/tumblr, sometimes to the point where i either have to dnf the other fic or stop my own writing for a while because—the imposter syndrome gets too much. but also, a lot of my comparison happens with authors who write very differently than i do (like, flowery prose) so even if i want to embody that style, the gap makes it easier for me to shake it off too, if that makes sense? like when u see ur crush with someone else and u can’t even feel bad bc they’re so out of ur league ykno?

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

aaaaalll the time, without fail, often multiple times. i almost always write with the assumption that i’ll be the only one reading it. it helps insulate against lack of interaction and also makes sure the fic is extremely self indulgent lol. a lot of my prompts are really just fix-its from canon or other fics i’ve read where i didn’t like something. hm, there’s isn’t a particular *time* i won’t go back ro bc i’m weirdly impressed with my older works too, but one specific snape/lily fic i wrote in 2017 is something i can never read, no matter how much i try. it was a ‘write your notp’ challenge attempt and i don’t think i’ve gone over it it once in it’s entirely after i posted it lol

From this ask game!

#there’s another mc i haven’t touched in a while where i had like. character spreadsheets and stuff #so clearly i’m not a plotter and need to go back to my pantser roots if i wanna be efficient #or maybe i should just write as i publish & not do. this. bc it’ll be a neverending orocess then #also re: the rereading bit. it’s often my fav part of writing lol #bc i’ve always written for myself—every time i get interactions/comments/feedback from others it’s a pleasant surprise #bc i never expect it. so it feels even more special #ask game #pen’s asks

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 3 years

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fic writer review

thanks to @delphiniumblooms for tagging me!!! :D

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

66 posted and one lonely little draft that's probably never gonna get finished

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

102,532

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

including things i've multiple-tagged for related fandoms, 24. but like i said, a lot of that is because of interconnected/related fandoms

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

tell me more than just the scars i've known - my first Sylki fic that i wrote while extremely frustrated by lack of cell service, it's not my favorite thing i've written but listen: sometimes a girl's just gotta write some whump, ok?

Dream Again (When One's Left Behind) - the one and only Tangled: The Series fic i've ever written. Varian angst and platonic h/c with one of the only alternating POVs i've ever successfully written.

for the bad decisions that we made - the Sylki fic i posted less than two days ago (writing for big fandoms is wild, guys); yet another take on an s2 reunion but this time featuring heart-to-hearts, hugs, and one of my favorite lines of prose i've ever written

Learn Me Right - Newsies sickfic that i'm not incredibly proud of, but it's where i started writing my favorite minor character, so it's cool.

We Are Broken - one of my other Newsies fics, bc yeah i had a phase back in January, and i saw some Wormsies post that gave me an idea.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YES. i always reply to comments just bc i love talking to people, and i also love talking about my fics at any opportunity. also bc i know how nice it is to leave an author a comment and get a reply later on, it's just such a great feeling so i like to be that person :)

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

eurrgghh probably either Dust & Ashes or we're gonna sing it again and again, bc they ended with MCD, but i really kind of hate both of them in retrospect because i was trying to write them to be canon compliant, but i wasn't familiar enough with canon and they're just... very very off

7. Do you write crossovers?

nope, not unless you count different eras and contexts of Doctor Who stuff as crossover

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

nope again, AO3 culture is very nice and i really love it

9, Do you write smut?

biggest NOPE yet, i don't write it or read it. just.... n o p e.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

11. Ever had a fic translated?

again, no. but that would be really heckin cool if one of my fics ever did get translated!!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

i'm saying "no" a whole lot, wow... but yeah, no i haven't. i've considered co-writing something with my best friend, but we've never gotten around to it

13. All time fav ship?

i... cannot pick one tbh. it changes with my hyperfixation. right now i have Sylki brainrot lol

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

probably my Gallifrey/DWEU buddy cop au?? i love it, it's my brainchild, but yeah :/

15. Writing strengths?

i've been told that i'm really good at packing a lot of emotion and meta into very short fics, and i'm pretty proud of that tbh

16. Writing weaknesses?

i suck at plot and dialogue can sometimes drive me nuts. i think my biggest weakness as i perceive it is that i find it hard to *not* make things in fics go very fast? like i write everything out that i want in a fic but it's still incredibly short and i worry that it feels rushed, even though other people don't usually think that.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

uh... the only language other than English that i know is Koine Greek (as in, the specific Greek that the Bible's New Testament was oroginally written in) and it's a dead language, sooooo.......

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Big Finish Doctor Who! (tho tbh i think back when i was 11/12 i wrote some random self-insert stuff for whatever little fandoms i was in back then 😅)

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

ohhh i can't choose? usually i'm just most partial to whatever i've most recently written, which right now is for the bad decisions that we made. i think one of my Gallifrey fics, In The Drift, is definitely high on my list of favorites though.

here's my AO3 for anyone who might like to take a look!

tagging @fortes-fortuna-iogurtum and @picnokinesis if either of you want to do this, and anyone else who sees it if you want. :D

#Lu rambles #Lu writes #writing #fanfic #ao3 #tag game #my fic #fanfic pals #loki series #pro sylki #lovedaggers #newsies #newsies live #tangled the series #varian angst #dweu #doctor who expanded universe #gallifrey #big finish audios

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nami-writes · 3 years

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whump intro!

so my blog isn’t exactly new but considering i’ve been lurking and semi-interacting with the whump community but haven’t actually made an intro, i thought i’d finally do that!

so, the basics: i go by a few names, nami’s the one i’ve chosen to mainly use on here but joy and river work too. any pronouns are fine with me as long as they aren’t it/its, feel free to switch it up if you’d like (and i’m questioning if i’m nb/agender so pls do switch it up!). this is a sideblog so i follow and like from deviantjoy.

and now the good stuff!

i like just about all whump but i get the most whumperflies from begging, forced submission (whether it’s the whumper forcing the whumpee or the whumpee forcing themselves, and that can extend to extremes like noncon), restraints, and just overall helplessness. excessive gore, intimate/creepy whumpers, sickfics, and lady whump aren’t really my thing. my favorite not-whump tropes are found family and enemies to friends (to lovers) and my favorite whumpees are male tough-softie types.

i don’t really write things with ocs so my blog is centered around fangirling and fanfiction, plus a little bit of random life stuff mixed in. you can find my fics and how i tag things in my masterlist and i tag anything that i think might be triggering or otherwise upsetting with “#cw [x]”. my current main fandom and the fandom i’ve written the most for as of rn is avatar the last airbender bc zuko is such a good whumpee and so easy for me to project onto it’s great lmao (i mean literally you can imagine a genderbent zuko and that’d just about be me, i don’t have a scar but i do have a birthmark by my left ear if that counts) and you can find the rest of my fandoms also in my masterlist. i primarily write hurt/comfort, angst, and, obviously, whump, so generally i gotta lotta problems i project onto fictional characters.

some whump blogs i like (which, in this case, means “lurk on and occasionally like a post of or send an ask to”):

@shameless-whumper was the first whump blog i followed and honestly probably the reason why i stayed in the community

@deluxewhump’s cam and zee have such an interesting dynamic i’m strangely here for (and i know i said i don’t like lady whump but i gotta admit amber and belle are a guilty pleasure of mine)

@ashintheairlikesnow’s story for danny was so good i vaguely remember binge-reading it for a few days and now after jake was stabbed i live for jameson too

@friendlylocalwhumper wrote lux so heartbreakingly well that he’s the sole exception to my aversion to nonhuman whumpees

@skunkandgrenade’s whump tips are super helpful and i actually have a few of them reblogged in my drafts for future reference

@whumpwillow’s whump trope lists drew me in but their hazeshift series kept me there after i read all of it that’s been posted so far in like one sitting lmao

and that’s about it! i’m hoping to get a lil more involved in the community and maybe even make a few friends, so pls interact if you’d like to! i’ve got a list of ongoing ask games in my masterlist and asks are always open for anything!

#whump intro #whump introduction #whump blog #whump community #whump blog intro #whump blog introduction #whumpblr #whumblr #misc

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convenientalias · 3 years

Note

would you be willing to rate cdramas on: your recommendations for someone who hasn't seen many cdramas yet?

I can try. But also the first cdrama I ever completed was Nirvana in Fire, which I've heard a lot of ppl specifically say is not a good first cdrama. So this is all with a grain of salt.

Also, to be noted: I assume that a drama delving into Chinese culture is not a minus in this case, as long as it's still comprehensible or would be with a little research. (E.g. when I watch a historical drama set in an era I have no experience with, I usually do a little googling at the confusing bits and come out fine.)

Also to be noted: Since I usually just rate every cdrama I've ever watched (...it's only eleven. I'm also a person who hasn't seen THAT many cdramas, tho there are more I've DNFed) I'm just going to do that even if I don't actually rec the drama at all. You get a range!

So with no further ado, here are the dramas:

Ancient Detective--8/10 as an introductory drama, actually I think this is a good choice in a lot of ways. There are a lot of wuxia aspects to the show, from wanderers in the jianghu to martial sects to bands of bandits to legendary doctors to improbably perfect disguises to weak heroes who faint because they have a curse of coldness on them. So it's kind of cool as an introduction to that genre. However, it's also just a case procedural show, and the plot's easily understandable. Also, it's only 24 episodes, making it the second shortest drama on this list. I feel I must mention that the next shortest dramas here (Granting You a Dreamlike Life, Handsome Siblings, and Weaving a Tale of Love, tied) are 40 episodes long. Love Is More Than a Word is shorter. But Love Is More Than a Word is not very good (I love it but its quality is not high).

The Disguiser--7/10. What's not to love about a spy drama? Gave me a crash course on China's politics in WWII. Has a lot of intrigue and great characters. There is a small fandom. It is in love with a pair of adoptive brothers who are also employer and employee (and kind of ships the two) and it is not wrong about this but what I want is for ppl to care more about is the youngest brother of the Ming family and his awful relationship with his ruthless and manipulative spymaster mentor. which broke me into small pieces. Not rated higher bc 1) I think most ppl who watch this first watched Nirvana in Fire and became obsessed with one or more of the actors in it so I'm sure that influences our perception of it and 2) it has some episodes that are just kind of boring and a couple things about it really annoy me. (Like, why can't ppl show Ah Cheng some more respect, damn it?!)

The Flame's Daughter--God, I don't know. On the one hand, inter-sect intrigue, martial arts, vengeance, incredible whump, beautiful and color coded costuming, all things I love. I am constantly trying to get more ppl to watch this show. On the other hand I want to punch the male lead in the face, the main romance sucks, and the main plot only really kickstarts at about, hm, episode 6 or 7. And it only gets REALLY good (just imo) around episode 20-ish. But also, Dilraba Dilmurat! Even if her character develops slowly, I just love her! Idk, pick between a 8 (for "please watch this I am begging you") and a 4 (for "you might just quit around episode 4 and I wouldn't really blame you").

Granting You a Dreamlike Life--Again, can I rec this show? I'm really not sure I can rec this show. The love triangle, depending on how you feel about the characters and about love triangles in general, could easily be a huge drag. Also it's non-stop melodrama and tropiness. But it has nice whump and also has Zhu Yilong (most ppl know him from Guardian, which is not on this list bc I never finished it. He's a good actor). I guess I'll give it a 5/10. If you try it, try not to get bogged down in the first half (more like 3/4) of the first episode, which is all framing device.

Handsome Siblings--There are a few adaptations of the novel Handsome Siblings is based off of out there. I'm talking about the 2020 version. And honestly? 8/10. For me this show is the best wuxia I've seen, and probably the most classically wuxia at that. It is very over the top. A lot of Villains and Heroes who are self aware enough to call themselves literally villains and heroes. But it's also doing a little commentary on this--Jiang Xiaoyu, the real MC, calls himself both a hero and a villain depending on the day, and the real villains who drive most of the overarching conflict of the show are believed to be heroes by the general public. Anyway it's just a lot of fun. I only take the last two points off bc 1) the deuteragonist, Hua Wuque, is a drag, and his romantic arc is even more of a drag, and 2) there's definitely some sexism going around--sexual harassment jokes, for example, and Jiang Xiaoyu being generally sleazy. So those are serious downsides but I think the pure fun of the show makes up for it. Idk I think it's worth at least trying out. (...just make it past the first episode and a half of backstory before you judge.) ALSO THE FOOD LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

Joy of Life--4/10. I'm biased; I don't like Joy of Life very much even though a lot of people like it a lot. But apart from that assessment. Imo Joy of Life is a parody and a genre mash-up and better watched after you've already watched one or two more serious (or at least earnest, if humorous) wuxia or palace intrigue dramas. Like, it's more fun to see the Crown Prince and Second Prince awkwardly feuding if you've already seen Nirvana in Fire princes doing the same with a way higher sense of gravity. Watching Joy of Life before watching a sincere wuxia or palace intrigue drama would be like getting into Watchmen as someone who doesn't know superhero comics--it's not like you can't do it, but it kind of feels like you're skipping a step. That said, you said recs for someone who hasn't watched "many" cdramas, so, depending, it might be fine. But I also just don't like it that much. I think the characterization and tone are kind of weak. (...in general, ppl disagree with me on this.)

Love Is More Than a Word--5/10. On the one hand, very slashy and very SHORT, which is not something I can say about many cdramas. On the other hand, disappointing ending. I'm trying to rec cdramas that make you want to watch more cdramas, not ones that make you say "huh, well, that sure was a show" or tear your hair out. But again, it's short, so if time commitment's an issue, you could do worse. And it has fun historical vibes and a litttttle political intrigue.

Nirvana in Fire--Subjectively 10/10. The first cdrama I ever watched to completion, the drama that hooked me on cdramas in general. And imo easier to follow than many political dramas, bc Mei Changsu (or Prince Yu or Jingyan, depending on the episode) always takes a moment to monologue to the audience surrogate (usually Meng) and say "if you can't tell what I'm trying to do here. This is what I'm trying to do." So it's not too overwhelming. Also it's just. really good. And a lot of ppl view it as one of the best cdramas ever. And there's an actual fandom with a lot of good fic. However, objectively, the first couple episodes can be confusing, and the show in general is kind of dry. so if I was being objective I might rate it lower but I'm not going to bc this is my list.

Sword Dynasty--2/10 the real question is why would you watch this at all. But if you're a beginner with cdramas maybe you wanna watch a drama with a lot of swordsfighting and that's valid. But maybe you should watch Handsome Siblings or The Flame's Daughter or literally any other drama instead bc Sword Dynasty honestly is just not good. And it's very confusing! So confusing! I honestly thought I'd missed an episode when I started the first episode and never quite got over the sense of holes in the narrative and characterization; stuff I felt like I was supposed to already know, characters I felt like I was supposed to already be invested in. There are some good actresses here and some nice fighting scenes but I do not recommend the show.

Weaving a Tale of Love--5/10 in that I wouldn't discourage watching it but I don't think it would be very rewarding as one of your first cdramas. It's got some lovely episodes--fun political intrigues, cute flirtations, angst, all the good stuff. The aesthetics are good and the main actress is really cheerful and just fun to watch. But it really takes its time getting started. The first couple episodes are backstory, and then you have to see Liuli as an adult, and then Liuli has to sort of meet some people and her love interest and do some shenanigans, and THEN you finally get to the main political intrigue and revenge subplot. I didn't get bored by any of these arcs but I think for a beginner it might get frustrating. It's also not good enough that I'd put it in a category of "something you simply MUST watch". It's popcorn.

Winter Begonia--7/10, but with emphatic pros and cons both. This show has a lot going for it: It's slashy. It's a historical, and not in a vague wuxia sense; it's set solidly in the 1930s and deals with culture and events of the time. Watching Chinese opera in this show is a great look at a traditional Chinese art. It also has a lot of adventure, intrigue, shenanigans... However, the tone might be off-putting to some watchers, because the tone is a bit hard to place. Sometimes it's very melancholy, talks about changing times and living in a country at war. Other times it's slapstick comedy, and characters are yelling at each other or chasing each other around tables. Or petty intrigue, opera-circle melodrama and sabotage. Often it's more than one of these things in the same episode, or even in the same scene. For me it took a couple episodes to really get a sense of what Winter Begonia was going for in terms of tone, so I don't know if it would be a bit difficult for a beginner in cdrama-land to get a handle on it. However, I've shown this show to my mother, who had previously only watched two other cdramas, and she enjoyed it a lot. So honestly I feel I can rec it with a clean conscience.

And now I should really go to bed.

#cdrama #idk. was this coherent?#i hope #anyway i had fun rambling so thanks for the ask

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quillyfied · 4 years

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Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 5

What up, it’s back!

77 carefully-curated titles for your perusal today! As always, the fics are broken into the following categories: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes there are sexual elements to the stories and sometimes you get invested and then suddenly the author drops a smut chapter, so warnings where applicable.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR MISATTRIBUTED AND I WILL FIX IT RIGHT AWAY.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Get Thee To A Nunnery – Owenjones (T, the one where Aziraphale is put in a nunnery and needs a bit of a rescue. More or less Ineffable Wives time, but warnings for Aziraphale being forced into a female corporation against his will, that’s pretty icky (three guesses for who the offending Archangel is). Crowley is posing as a little lady known as Julie D’Aubigny, which, if that rings no bells, you should Google her immediately and then go into this fic cackling like I did. Very sweet, a fun little adventure!)

2. Bibliophilia – @wingedspirit (G, the one where Aziraphale has a book nemesis and Crowley always seems to have the perfect book as a gift, what a coincidence. This is so funny, you guys, seriously. We stan ONE (1) oblivious angel in this house. And when Aziraphale finally catches on, it’s so cute, I can’t even. I cannot EVEN. Go read it right now immediately.)

3. The Heart Goes To Heaven, The Head Goes To Hell – Dekkles (T, the one where Crowley has intentions of making an angel Fall and it kinda…backfires. Guys fair warning, this one’s version of Hell is really gross, if you’re squeamish tread very carefully bc WOW it can get a bit graphic. Y’know what’s also gross? The PINING (obviously not gross in the same way but the pining is awfully feelsy and part of it does happen in Hell). Watching this Crawly go from an honestly nauseating portrayal of Hell to watching Aziraphale and kinda awkwardly twitching in his light is so delightful and I hope for more in the future (though maybe less visions of Hell, I will be so glad if and when the fic leaves that place because yikes).)

4. i like this place (it feels spooky) – @asideofourown (G, the one where Warlock manages to convince Nanny and Brother Francis to take him to a haunted house and it’s so cute. You guys. It’s SO cute. You really get a feel for little Warlock’s personality and how he sees things (and he sees ALL). Just a really cute “family” outing, really, and someone gets spooked at the end and it’s not who you think!)

5. Doubt the Stars are Fire – LilithReisender (T, the one where Aziraphale bails Crowley out of prison and they spend time together in an Italian villa. This one has cool history bits, really fun banter, and Crowley actively on the job while trying to pretend he isn’t on the job. It’s a delight, and it’s just getting started! Jump on this bandwagon, folks, it’s great!)

6. The Hellfire Club – @amarguerite (NR, the one where greater measures are taken to make sure Aziraphale isn’t promoted back upstairs. This one is so hilarious, you guys, I can’t even tell you which bit is my favorite. And the cherry on top? Wing grooming! (I can also tell you that something highly unpleasant happens to Sandalphon, if that sweetens the pot for anyone.) If you have a Thing for Crowley and Aziraphale being melodramatic and overacting, then stay put, friends. Also continue reading this list, there’s a few more that’ll catch your eye later on.)

7. The Immortal Look – MickyRC (G, the one where Crowley puts Aziraphale in some kohl and it’s awesome. A written entry for the Prince of Omens DTIYS, and even independent from Prince of Omens this fic is a winner, in my book. Crowley going dewy-eyed over Aziraphale’s looks in any capacity is always My Jam and this fic really goes for it.)

8. Merry & Bright – @peppervl (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley go undercover as a married couple in the Regency. You like fem!Aziraphale but don’t see it often enough? SIT DOWN, FRIENDO. Not only does this have a lovely Miss Fell for us to fawn over, but it’s a Miss Fell in possession of a fortune and surely in want of a husband, according to prim-and-proper London, and who better to help her out than one Mr. Crowley who happens to need some help on a temptation? Fun, romantic, and with a cute little twist at the end I shan’t spoil but you should really stick around for.)

9. Putting the Endearment in Dear – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale starts calling everyone “dear” just so he can also call Crowley by endearments. This one is sweet and a little sad and has the softest possible ending, y’all don’t even know. Read it, the point in time where Aziraphale doesn’t have to hold back his mountain of endearments anymore is a sight to behold.)

10. Between the Lines – cyankelpie (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale’s feelings are known but not spoken, at least not directly. This one is a historical jaunt where they have a lot of double-meaning conversations (and Crowley is very rightly lost through a lot of it, poor dear), and it aches, you guys, it just hurts. Not finished yet as of this review but WHEN IT’S DONE—I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Hot dang.)

11. No Matter How the Stars Align (They Make Me Think of You) – silentsonata (G, the one that covers stars that Crowley and Aziraphale have met under. Every once in a while there’ll come along a fic that shakes the ground as it walks. I understand the Big Bang events usually churn these out, and there are quite a few on this list, but this fic here? A masterpiece. Pitch-perfect in every way, just a stunner. I want to tell y’all to pay special attention to certain chapters but they all took my breath utterly away and it would be unfair to single any out over the rest, the whole work is a monument. Just beautiful.)

12. Too Wise to Woo Peaceably – purewanderlust (T, the one that’s five times they see “Much Ado About Nothing” throughout history. I love me some “Much Ado,” personally, and this fic knows what it’s on about. Wonderfully romantic and ends with the single most perfect conversation, I swear 2 someone. Hits right in the feels.)

13. Just Another Sword Fight – DemonicGeek (NR, the one that’s a 5+1 about Crowley swordfighting. If you’re here because Aziraphale taking on the role of the swooning maiden to Crowley’s dashing hero makes you, in fact, be the one swooning, say hello to your new best friend. If you like to follow all that up with Aziraphale taking charge when needed, I might suggest building a home here, because ABSOLUTELY that’s what you’re getting.)

14. A Few More Rescues – @poetic----nonsense (T, the one with, predictably, a few more rescues. If the previous fic had you reeling and begging for more, welcome to the buffet, children. These are some really fun rescues by Crowley on behalf of Aziraphale, and they’re unconventional and historical AF (especially the bit with the dragon) (you bet your sweet keister there’s a bit with a dragon). This fic is so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.)

15. Floriography – Frenchmeister (T, the one where Crowley doesn’t get flower language. The premise is, Crowley slept through a large chunk of the Victorian era, so he doesn’t know what Aziraphale keeps trying to say as they work at the Dowlings’ estate raising Warlock. He does know that the philodendron is a menace, no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Funny and nerve-wracking and so, so sweet.)

16. The Interplay of Illusion and Magic – SoulJelly (T, the one where Aziraphale tries to join a magicians’ society. This one has some delightful history and Aziraphale trying to perform sleight of hand magic to get in a secret magicians club and a surprising twist near the middle, all told; it’s a lot more exciting than I initially thought it was going to be (I was just expecting some fluff and that was not all I got; it’s always a good day when Crowley has to come to the rescue).)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. There goes the neighborhood – @bestoftheseekwill (G, the one where Crowley’s retirement peace is threatened by construction. If you’re here for Crowley wiles, anti-capitalism, and flashes of protective Aziraphale, get ready to take a load off because this is primo.)

18. Teatime Revelations – Cardinal_Daughter (T, the one where God invites Herself over for tea. This one is strained and it’s emotional and it’s all the softer for it. Aziraphale being quiet and protective while Crowley has a come-apart in the face of God is iconic, tbh; pretty sure this fic inspired a lot of my own portrayals of the GOmens God, looking back on it. A wonderful and light-hearted take.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

19. Lose a Kraken, Gain an Angel – MistressKat (T, the one where Hastur has an expected friendship. This fic has everything—Hastur being a sympathetic character, the Kraken, Crowley pining after Aziraphale, the Antichrist, and is hilarious from start to finish. A fun and tonally accurate diversion, please read.)

20. Something Old, Something New – shippityshipship (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are involved in weddings. Short and hasn’t updated in a while but still excellent reading, I find; great characterization, some fun OCs, lovely atmosphere, oblivious pining while everyone else thinks they’re dating, it’s amazing.)

21. The difficulty with disposable demons – @areyougonnabe (T, the one where Eric the disposable demon shows up and it’s a madhouse in Crowley’s apartment. This is a really funny take on what happens to the disposable demons and why they are the way they are, and with the added bonus of driving Crowley up the wall and some mild miscommunications with Aziraphale that are all sorted out in the end.)

22. Care and Keeping – @arcafira (M, T, the series where Crowley is shedding and Aziraphale tries to help. Not rated M for anything violent or sexual, really more of a T than an M but there is a bath scene and a lot of self-loathing. There’s a lot of convincing Crowley to let Aziraphale care for him and a lot of working through Fall-related issues, but it leaves off in a wonderfully hopeful place.)

23. The Clockwork Days – redwinehouse (T, the one where the world’s ending again. There are many fics that have tackled possible sequels to Good Omens and this is one of the more tonally accurate ones, I feel; it’s very tongue-in-cheek and matter-of-fact, and the little twist at the end was a genuine surprise to me. Whack in plenty of mutual pining and a Bentley that has had it up to HERE with these idiots and you’ve got a recipe for a good little story.)

24. don’t leave me here alone – Elvendork (T, the one where Crowley asks for holy water again. This one is a tense argument, right up until it isn’t, and absolutely delectable, really. If you’re a fan of Aziraphale bringing up hellfire to go toe to toe with Crowley on the issue, BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, this one is dunking itself into Soft Town with that accelerant to really drive it home.)

25. The Next Time We Wed – seashadows (T, the one where a mix-up leads to marriage. If drunken mistakes and their aftermath is what you’re after, welcome to the party, folks, because this one’s a whopper. Can people pine while being married to each other? The answer is yes. Can it have a soft ending? Also yes. Can it include the mothers of such characters as Anathema and Newt being wonderful characters in their own right? The answer, incredibly, is yes.)

26. You Can’t Un-See A Dog – @holycatsandrabbits (T, the one where Crowley is summoned and there’s shenanigans afoot. I won’t talk too much about the plot of this one bc I don’t want to spoil it but suffice it to say that this one is hilarious and has some especially gratifying Ineffable Husband silent communication at play. If your entire reason for existence, like Crowley’s, is seeing Bastard!Aziraphale at work, then bunk down here, friendos, you’ve arrived.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

27. Crowley, Big Bad Demon, Can Keep His Cool Around His Crush – @edennovik (T, the one where Crowley…well, see title, and then immediately disregard. Crowley cannot, in fact, keep his cool around his crush. Crowley is doing the opposite of keeping his cool around his crush. Crowley is a ball of anxiety and screaming pining gooey mess and Aziraphale might just like him anyway.)

AU/UA

28. If Not Now, When – @ineffablefool (T, the one where trans café worker Crowley strikes up a conversation with fat pretty Aziraphale. Listen. Y’all know ineffablefool. Y’all know he is a force that cannot be stopped or reckoned with, when it comes to Soft Fat-Postive Asexual Romance. So I do not say this lightly when I say that this is possibly his masterwork. There is a lot of good, good content in his catalogue but the emotional work put into this makes the whole thing stand straight up and resonate. It’s tender and respectful and handles conflicts of gender and sexuality with grace and gentleness and oh no I’m tearing up pls send help I’m DROWNING—).

29. Trip the Light – @summerofspock (M, the one where Aziraphale falls in love first. M for a sex scene near the end of the fic, second half of Chapter 17, so keep an eye out for that if you’re sensitive to it. Oh, y’all. This one goes through canon and a few scenes outside of it and the recontextualizing of those scenes as Aziraphale hopelessly in love and Crowley as oblivious is amazing. Even more amazing: once Crowley finally catches on and then it becomes Aziraphale once again in his role of holding back. Guys. Y’all. My DUDES. I am in the throes of agony. It’s so good.)

30. one love (only for you) – @weatheredlaw (M, the one that’s a vague Snow White AU. It’s truly unfair how poetic and romantic this one is, how lovely. It has fantasy elements and ridiculous vengeful brothers and soft, soft boys in love. A sweet little way to spend an afternoon, tbh.)

31. in the house we remain – @commodorecliche (M, the one where Crowley’s a ghost in the house Aziraphale has bought. M for masturbation, weird ghost sex, and a harrowing backstory for Crowley; if you’re squeamish about sexual things and not good at gauging how to skip them, or if you can’t stand abuse stories, I would pass this one up. Y’all. Y’ALL. So thoroughly upsetting, this one; the horror elements are real but so is the romance and it’s a beautiful balance of the two. What’s wild is how believable it is; it could easily have been a story about Aziraphale just becoming obsessed with and romanticizing a dead person who used to live in his house but it feels like an actual love story, with Crowley learning how to trust Aziraphale, as well, despite their planar incompatibility. The ending is so unbelievably sweet. And there’s art now! There wasn’t, when I first added it to the list! Huzzah!)

32. pop! goes my heart – @areyougonnabe (E, the one that’s a Music and Lyrics AU. E for a sex scene near the end of Chapter 6 that’s a bit difficult to skip, since there’s a couple of relevant paragraphs after it that set up the next chapter, but if you’re up for the challenge, godspeed. First things first: this fic has ORIGINAL MUSIC RECORDED BY THE AUTHOR AND IT’S AMAZING. Music and Lyrics is one of my personal favorite romcoms, and what’s been done with it is not only accurate to the actual music industry, but accurate to the characters, as well. It’s such a fun story, adapted well, and the writing style is just charming. Fantastic!)

33. For the First Time in Forever – @nicnacsnonsense (T, the one that’s a Frozen AU. I am excited for this one, y’all. The adaptation is already so much fun and it’s only going to get funner. Aziraphale as Elsa and Crowley in an Anna-adjacent role (but not actually bc no incest) is amazing, the Olaf stand-in outshines the original, and the emotional toll is already pretty high. Absolutely worth a read.)

34. Sailor’s Omens – NeverNooitNiet (G, the one where Crowley’s a pirate and Aziraphale is his prisoner. There’s a touch of historical homophobia but that doesn’t matter much out at sea, really. If the boys being clever and bickering and also one-upping beloved series antagonists is something you enjoy, welcome to the party, friends. It’s a good old-fashioned piracy romp that’s sure to satisfy.)

35. Pomegranate Seeds – @nicnacsnonsense (G, the one that’s a Persephone and Hades AU with Aziraphale as Hades and Crowley as Persephone. This one has a unique tone and is also romantic as all get-out; throw in genderfluid Crowley, love at first sight, and Aziraphale being a sweetie, it’s a story well worth its salt, imo.)

36. Laws of Gravity – @brightwanderer (T, the one where Aziraphale invents pining for Raphael. Listen. I think we all know at this point that brightwanderer, or Atalan on ao3, has earned her clout as a GOmens fanfic heavyweight. She didn’t NEED to write an awkward and earnest Raphael trying to go incognito as Crowley into the Garden of Eden. She didn’t NEED to write about how incredibly awkward Aziraphale is while heels over halo in love. She didn’t NEED to have an engaging plot and a wonderful twist on the Temptation of Eve and also the most awkward and obvious besotted angels in the universe. But she did. And we are blessed. So go partake.)

37. Incubus!Crowley – GenericUsername01 (G, T, the series where Crowley is a sex demon and we get to see what that means. This fic threads the very specific needle I personally enjoy where sex is an element of the story and has bearing on it, but the story doesn’t have any actual sex scenes in it. I love this writer’s style and where they take Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship; I love the view of Hell in the first bit; I love all of it, really. A+++.)

38. Everyone But You – @summerofspock (M, the one where Crowley is hired to seduce an angel. M for some saucy makeouts and some post-coital afterglow but nothing explicit. If y’all like stories where a conman is hired to do a job and starts to have complicated feelings about it, especially if those feelings are falling in love with his mark, then here you go. It’s amazing as all heck and hilarious to boot; Crowley learning what falling in love is like is always a treat but omg. Poor Aziraphale. And the most DELIGHTFUL resolution, my goodness.)

39. In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell – @theoldaquarian (M, the one where Heaven and Hell have a joint corporate retreat every so often and Crowley and Aziraphale are doomed. M for some adult themes but nothing explicit. Y’all. TheOldAquarian must be stopped. They cannot continue to be so funny and engaging. They cannot continue to have the most corporate and hilariously mundane depiction of Heaven and Hell. They are a MENACE who, in the space of one fic, has packed all the pining of the ages in so tightly that when it finally bursts free, my shoulders physically relaxed and my spine uncoiled. This fic in particular is too much and too wonderful. I really must protest.)

40. Loosely Ballroom – marginalia_device, @mortifyingideal (T, the one where Aziraphale is a professional dancer and Crowley is a contestant on a show with him (for American viewers, think Dancing With the Stars). This fic is so good and so funny and so achingly in-character. I love Crowley as the washed-up old star trying to kick his career back up, I love Aziraphale as the put-upon dancer on his last legs, and I love that they’re both the victim of a studio gimmick and then decide that malicious compliance is their best bet. It’s still early in the fic (…at over 40k words wow it’s gonna be a monster and I’m ready), but it’s going to be so good already, I can just tell. There’s already some art for it floating around by naniiebimworks for the interested.)

JUST SOFT

41. Repeat the Sounding Joy – @allonsy-gabriel (G, the one where they decorate a Christmas tree. This is a short and sweet look at what the holidays are like for an angel and a demon post-apocalypse and it’s so adorable, you guys. Crowley having FEELINGS and Aziraphale being fussy about his decorating, it’s just a treat.)

42. The Nesting Habits of Angelus Principalum – @obaewankenope (NR, the one where Aziraphale nests and is gently protective. This fic is quiet and understated and so unbelievably romantic without being over the top about it; it’s a quiet coming together that creeps up on you, much like how the realization of Aziraphale’s nesting habits creeps up on Crowley. A lovely little thing.)

43. we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow – @tonyhawksmovingcastle (E, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale wind up faking a relationship on a couple’s cruise. E for Chapter 7, which is completely skippable without ruining any plot. This one gets a double whammy for both engaging plot and wonderful OCs that add to rather than distract from the story. Fake dating is fun enough but when you’re fake dating and also being wingmanned by well-meaning possibly supernatural sapphics, while also having fun in the tropics, it’s a recipe for a good time all around (at least for the audience). So lovely and sweet and that moment when Crowley and Aziraphale finally get together is magic.)

44. Road Trip Games and Love – rgfalso (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale go on a road trip together. This one almost takes place in real time, and has the most intense and emotional back-and-forth while these poor saps try to work out the Thing between them without actually talking about it for as long as inhumanly possible. Of course there are lots of road trip games, and of course those road trip games are a vehicle of conveyance for what they’re actually trying to say, and cue all the misunderstandings in the world. It’s frustrating and cathartic and amazing and the end especially is so, so sweet.)

45. The Most Stylish Wedding of AZ Fell and AJ Crowley – @leapoffaith1489 (T, the one where Aziraphale is determined to discard tartan for the wedding. Y’all. Omg. If relatively low-stakes cute wedding shenanigans are your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale being pleasantly surprised is your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale working through minor insecurities is your thing, welcome, truly, home. Featuring a lovely cast of side characters and a soft-as-butter plot.)

46. The Newlywed Game (Not What You’d Think) – @heavenslittlehellion (NR, the one where a game of drunken truth-telling goes a little farther than anticipated. Hello, welcome to the emotional gut-punch fic, you’ve arrived. The only thing that saves this from dunking into the last category on this list with the other h/c and whump fics is how low-stakes it is and how soft it is when they get past the unpleasant bit. People who love theories on what the Fall felt like, welcome to the table.)

47. On the Road to Love – Mizmak (G, the one where Crowley enters a motor rally race with the Bentley, with Aziraphale as navigator. While there’s great fun in Crowley and Aziraphale needling each other, there’s greater joy in their friendship and tenderness towards the other (and asexual bed-sharing fans, rejoice). It’s a fun concept all around and definitely worth the read.)

48. Mr. Fell’s Bookshop ficlets – @holycatsandrabbits (G, T, the series where Mr. Fell has regular customers and they love the place as much as they love its weird and eldritch owner. For folks who love seeing the Ineffable Duo through others’ eyes, this is a fun series to scratch that particular itch, and has spawned a number of spin-off fics, unless I’m mistaken. It’s a relatively low-stakes series, for people wanting something like that these days, too.)

49. Quiet Reflection – @shinyopals (T, the one where they have to duck into a church to avoid demons. If the phrase “spicy Jesus crackers” holds any appeal whatsoever, go read this fic immediately. It’s heartfelt and hilarious and really that’s all you can ask for in a good fluff fic. Also Crowley being held. Really, that’s all any of us want from life.)

50. Deck the Halls – forthegreatergood (G, the one where mistletoe should really not be this hard to get a hold of. Y’all you simply MUST stick around for the hijinks in this one. They are manifold and hilarious. Does it end in makeouts? Possibly. You’ll just have to read it, won’t you?)

51. The Secret Dress – GlitterSkullFairy (G, the one where Crowley has a secret wedding dress. This one is very dramatic and sad…and then Aziraphale pops in. Like with all things concerning these two, it immediately takes a turn from there. If putting Crowley in pretty dresses is a thing you enjoy, have a seat and enjoy the show, it’s a softy.)

52. Well…That’s New – @almaasi (G, the one where Crowley doesn’t realize he’s in love. If oblivious Crowley is more to your taste, this is the one for you. Takes the concept “what if Crowley was in love but didn’t realize it” and runs with it for all it’s worth. Hilarious and sweet and wonderful.)

53. serpent, serpent-bearer – @elsajeni (G, the one that’s about horoscopes. I realize the Soft section of the rec list is for things that are Soft but hhnnngkk you guys. This one is so cute. My heart can’t take it. They’re so gosh darned precious, with their newspaper and their horoscopes and their welcome invasion of each other’s personal space.)

54. If Only You Were Mine – @somethingscarlet13 (G, the one where Crowley gets so drunk he can’t remember who Aziraphale’s husband is, just that he’s married. This is a little sugar shot for your day, folks—short, sweet, silly, and did I mention sweet? It is so worth having a giggle at drunk Crowley’s expense, please do read it.)

55. Cupboard Love – @copperplatebeech (T, the one where Crowley is a cranky snek. I would also highly recommend this for folks who enjoy Madam Tracy, especially Madam Tracy being utterly unaffected by being face-to-face with the supernatural and cooing over things like the wonderful lady she is. Fun and a little silly and a lot adorable.)

56. affirmation, appreciation – pearlwaldorf (G, the one where Aziraphale helps someone in need a little differently than expected. This one has Aziraphale taking on the persona of an interested male party looking to pick up the spirits of a woman on the tail end of a messy divorce and Crowley understanding but still getting a little jealous. It’s so sweet and so lovely, both what Aziraphale and Crowley do for this poor woman and how Aziraphale reassures Crowley afterwards. Top notch.)

57. Forget-Me-Not – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Crowley gets amnesia. Not as dramatic as others, he just loses 200 years and it’s temporary, but it’s ever so sweet, watching Crowley fall back in love with the modern world and be gobsmacked that he and Aziraphale are finally together. There’s a lot of reassurance and tender sweet nothings thrown about and I’m pretty sure I developed a heart condition just from reading this, it’s too good.)

58. They Shake The Mountains When They Dance – @copperbadge (T, the one where Crowley finds Aziraphale’s scar. Operating on the theory that Aziraphale was injured in the War in Heaven and that’s why he clutches his leg and limps when he’s discorporated, this is the sappiest, sweetest rumination on the subject I have ever read. Crowley gets so protective and defensive, and Aziraphale is so gentle in talking him down. On the whole, it’s just wonderful and so, so cute. Omg.)

59. Familiar Care – ginger_mosaic (G, the one where the Ineffable Dads have to take their snabies in for medical help. This comes from the Wiggleverse, which on the whole I cannot strongly recommend enough, but this fic in particular centers around the most delightful OC veterinarian who handles Crowley and Aziraphale’s strange family very well. There’s also a fun twist at the end, so absolutely keep reading to find out what that is. And also, immerse yourself in adorable snake baby shenanigans, because they are the best sort.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. Rituals (or the Seven Layer Bean Dip Approach to Sex) – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one where no seriously metaphysical angel/demon sex is super weird. Fans of truly esoteric ethereal/occult mating rituals rejoice, for this is your new home. It’s abstract but no less beautiful for it, I think; the imagery and emotional accompaniment are all lovely, even if they don’t meet conventional human romance standards. You can really tell that it means a lot to Crowley and Aziraphale, the ways they show how much they love each other. A weird and delectable little dish, by all accounts.)

61. Under Pressure – @copperplatebeech (M, the one where Crowley steals kisses. M for sensuality and body worship but nothing too explicit; also could be construed as dubcon kissing, for those of you sensitive to that. Hhhgkk y’all. Crowley thinks he’s being sly getting away with smooching Aziraphale throughout history while they’re both drunk off their rockers but does not count on Aziraphale actually remembering, and then once the Apocalypse is done with and they’re On Their Own Side and Can Aknowledge These Things…well. They do. Crowley is a mess and Aziraphale is a mess and they love each other so much. The writing is so tender and I’m CRYING.)

62. London Calling – forthegreatergood (G, the one with slow-burn wing grooming. There’s so much crammed into this bad boy and it balances it admirably—Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale, Crowley’s relationship with Hell, Crowley thinking about retirement, Crowley getting preemptively banned from a certain European country for being a pest outside of its consulate, Crowley losing his cool over getting to touch Aziraphale’s wings. Humor, aching tenderness, the kind of longing that feels like a high, quavering violin note, tension and release. A beautiful piece.)

63. Elmie’s Ineffable Fireplace Fics – @almaasi (G, M, M, the series that is completely unrelated except for the physical and also figurative appearances of warm fireplaces. M for sensuality but nothing explicit. The first two are mainly short fluff; the third is a long Regency-esque AU with some gender and sexuality shenanigans on top of Real Danger and Intrigue. True to the writer’s promise, all three fics are pretty comfortable and warm, even if the third has some action and tension. They’re absolutely lovely, imo.)

64. The Hands Applauded (And This Was No Sin) – @ticketybye (G, the one where Crowley as a preoccupation with Aziraphale’s hands. Deals with both touch-starvation and touch-aversity in the same fic and weirdly enough it works. The fic is heartbreaking but it has a good resolution and that’s important.)

65. Moult – @sameoldsorceress (T, the one where Aziraphale molts and Crowley doesn’t. This is typical wing-grooming fare…right up until it isn’t. I won’t spoil the twist but rest assured that there is absolutely a twist. Other than that, it’s supportive and sweet and lovely and lord knows we all could use some of that right now.)

66. never get to heaven on a night like this – RestlessWanderings (G, the series where the Ineffable Wives are touch-starved and pining. The only reason this fic goes here instead of in Jaunts Through History is because especially in Crowley’s side of the story, the touch starvation is so horrifically visceral I very nearly bought myself a weighted blanket out of sympathy stress. They are both so afraid and so desperate for a bit of connection, the pining is absolutely ridiculous. And it helps that there’s worldbuilding there that’s both thematically appropriate and interesting to read. Engendered by lesbianism and catholic guilt, I believe the author said, and in this case what a delicious combination with an absolutely amazing ending.)

67. Strength in Modesty – flandersmare (T, the one where Aziraphale has a secret wardrobe. Y’all. I have a special love-hate relationship with clothes and my body and this fic somehow felt very soothing on both of those fronts. Corsetry is front and center, and it’s all very well-researched and well-presented. The story is so quiet and understated and is really told through excellent sensory details. The ending about broke my heart for tenderness. It’s a double love letter to Aziraphale and to fashion throughout history and I love it.)

BONUS

68. Tales of the Them – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are the Them’s godparents, too. This is such a fun series, with a lot of stories that are not just funny in bits, but also meaningful. For fans of the Them and people who like stories about children that aren’t dumbed-down or grimdark.)

69. Stans in High Places – @doomed-spectacles (G, the one where there’s someone in the Earth Observation department keeping an eye on Crowley and Aziraphale. Another take on the angel(s) in charge of Earth Observation, this time featuring a singular angel called Grigori, and boy is he a cutie. His friendship with fellow angel Pravuil is also blossoming and sweet throughout, and the amount of innocent cuteness throughout is just spectacular. What an adorable story.)

70. Anthony J Crowley, Retired Demon and AirBnB Superhost – @theoldaquarian (G, the one where Crowley turns his flat into an AirBnB. Told as if reading a comment section, it is hilarious and paints a horrid picture of what interacting with Crowley—and Aziraphale!—is like for normal humans. I can’t give you any more details than that, you are just going to have to read it and laugh your head off about it like I did.)

71. A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley writes a book and accidentally becomes a queer icon. This is…so funny. And so sweet. And like most fics where human bystanders try to piece together what’s happening and come away with completely wrong conclusions, it’s utterly charming. You almost start rooting for the internet conspiracy theorists trying to unearth what exactly Crowley is from his (presumably) evasive or strange answers to interview questions.)

72. Hell Of An Angel – WaitingToBeBroken (T, the one where everyone thinks Crowley is a mafia family. This one is funny in a dramatic irony way; the way that every narrator in this is CONVINCED that Crowley is A. a family of redheads that all look eerily similar, and B. extremely dangerous, is entertaining all on its own. It helps that the writing is smooth and the characters are all fairly engaging, too. A fun little diversion for your day.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

73. the only one i want – @qorktrees (T, the one where Crowley needs some convincing. The hurt in this one is real, folks. But so is the comfort. At last steps are taken to assure Crowley of how much he is wanted, of how much his love is cherished and his touch desired. If you cry while reading this, congrats and welcome to the club, we are all miserable touch-starved fools here.)

74. Always One More Time – boughofawillowtree (T, the one where Aziraphale has remaining psychological scars from Heaven. This one is tough, y’all, real tough. Aziraphale has a couple of abusive flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and his anxiety flaring up is a constant, so people sensitive to that should take heed. That said, this is a very healing fic, with a lot of underlying hurt that floats to the surface. But throughout Crowley does his best to be patient and understanding and even with a disagreement, it remains gentle and loving throughout.)

75. Smote and smitten – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale is a badass and we are ALL here for it. Screaming Hastur, briefly-sentient flaming swords, Aziraphale being amazing, and starry-eyed Crowley are all the ingredients chosen to make a wonderful little fic, and we are all grateful for it. What a guy, that Aziraphale.)

76. Nearly Romeo and Juliet – bisexual_dumbass (T, the one where Crowley’s hiding his panic attacks. This one hurts, friends. This one has miscommunications and fear and boundary communication, all while being so tense even the gentlest touch will snap something. It’s got learning to take care of yourself and value yourself and live FOR yourself. It is very important and I hope a lot of you read it because gosh dang.)

77. Pigeon Girlfriends With A Long Preamble – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one that’s exactly what it says on the tin. This fic has it all: humor! Torture! Terrible humans! Wrathful Aziraphale! Pain and suffering! Tenderness and care! Pigeon girlfriends! The Hurt and the Comfort are present in about equal measure, but fair warning that what Crowley is made to do just before his rescue is more than a little disturbing, both to readers and especially to Crowley.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #mega fic rec list #whoof #probably take a break for a bit #then start work on six and seven's reviews #and maybe start on compiling eight #why do y'all write so much fic #why is it all so good

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captainkappa · 3 years

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Fic Writer Interview

Thank you @capdjarin for the tag 💛💖

How many works do you have on AO3?

111 What’s your total AO3 word count?

353,807

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

15 fandoms. I’m just going to list the top 5 so we’re not here all day. They are Thrilling Intent, Mindcrack, The Mandalorian, Buffalo Wizards, and Critical Role

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Out of Reach (The Mandalorian)

Possibly, Maybe (Falling for You) (Critical Role)

Icebreakers (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Not Pets (Overwatch)

Not a Cat-astrophe (My Hero Academia)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I usually do, but sometimes I get self-conscious that I usually just say “Thank you!!” and it feels disingenuous, even though I love every comment I receive and reread them often!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God this is so fucking cringe but it honestly might be The History of the World (Is Filled with Love and Death). It’s one of only 5 fics of mine tagged MCD and the main character ends up sobbing in the snow next to his dead wife so... yeah

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have no published crossovers, but y’all in adjacent-nsfw in the discord have got me writing some, but I’m also super self-conscious about it so it’ll probably never see the light of AO3

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but it was less so hate, more so “I’m laughing at your fic” and I was young so I didn’t realize it was hate until more recently

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve written smut like once prior to Mando, and now I have 3 smutty fics in the works and 2 of them have trans characters... what is my virgin ass thinking dsfghjkl XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I cowrote the Spirit Thief Aesling series with Elfy and Kat (but I’ll be honest, I never really felt like I contributed much and I still feel bad about that too this day ^^; )

What’s your all time favorite ship?

This is... such a hard question, oh my god. It might be Merlin/Arthur? Two sides of the same coin, risking their lives for each other in the very first season, immaculate.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’d really like to get back to And Up She Rises but I just don’t know if I’ll ever get back into MHA like i was before. Worst part is the whole thing is outlined, Ch 3 was just tripping me up

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. If a character talks enough, I can imagine them saying my dialogue in my head. Super handy but no one in the Mandalorian talks enough so i just suffer lmao

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’ve been struggling so much with describing a character getting from Point A to Point B. Like walking across a room, moving his body... doing literally anything other than nodding in agreement lmao

But also I’m really bad at finishing anything with more than one chapter in a timely manner, having confidence in my writing, and being consistent in a way that makes me happy (like, I know fic writers arent Content Creators(tm) but there are fic in my WIP folder i wish i had published already because I want to share them with others)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I err on the side of providing enough context clues that it’s not the worst thing in the world

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was for The Clique by Lisi Harrison and I didn’t even realize it was fanfic. It was a writing contest hosted by Harrison to write where the characters would be 10 years post-book series.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Now that’s just even less fair than before. Ady put me through the wringer picking 5, now you want me to pick one?

right now I think I’d have to say Twist the Knife, Take a Life if only because it opened a whole new genre for me to write in. I usually consider myself a fluff writer but to know I can write horror? and I enjoy doing so? and other people enjoy it???

also i just like flipping fanon tropes bc yeah it’s Luke whump with the haunted darksaber but it’s not Luke whump with a haunted darksaber and an abusive Din wHOOPS

I’m very anxious about tagging people today, so if you’ve gotten this far and you haven’t done this yet, but would like to, consider yourself tagged!

#kappa writes #tag game #why was this so stressful lmao

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whatiswhump · 4 years

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continuing the possessive doctor tangent bc it's tasty: what might make them latch onto a patient in the first place

@whump-it (happy to tag anyone else who requests it)

Good question, I think a doctor who might usually be impassive and treat patients normally would see a combination of things in the whumpee that would entice him. Here’s a list of conditions:

-Solitary, little to no close friends or family looking out for whumpee

-Intelligent and generally independent before finding themselves involuntarily committed, thus putting a normally respected person in an inverse power dynamic which could be enticing to the doctor

-Well respected in their academic career before being committed, in which the doctor is interested in, giving the doctor a captive audience to discuss his interests with

-A personality that while civil and pre inclined to behave and cooperate also is independent enough to push back, enticing the doctor to want to try to reign in poor behavior

-Someone that is accused of a terrible crime and that the doctor can analyze and investigate to understand whether it is true or not

Here is a little drabble:

“Whumpee? Whumpee? Are you listening?”

He was tugged out of his drug-ridden stupor to look up at the doctor’s expectant expression. How long had he been sitting here?

“Anyway, as I was saying, I’m afraid it’s imperative that we complete these forms in your first few days here. It helps with diagnosing but also setting a baseline for future improvement. I recognize that you must be feeling off your game at the moment, the night nurse was clearly a bit too liberal with your sedative, but it is only to help ease your transition. It helps in lessening any distress or anxieties so it is all a bit less daunting.”

The man in the white coat looked, by all means, normal, like the kind of guy who coached his soccer team in middle school. Clean-shaven with laugh lines and a funny little tie clip that he wasn’t sure how to categorize, art deco perhaps?

He seemed reasonable, perhaps Whumpee could explain to him that this was all wrong, that he shouldn’t be here.

Perhaps he had a chance.

In the time that Whumpee had been staring at the man sitting across from him, he hadn’t noticed that the speaking had stopped. Was he waiting for a response?

“Um- yeah, I’m sorry, I’m having a bit of trouble following.” Whumpee offered.

“Must be unusual for you, I read online that you have quite a few degrees, you seem like quite the intelligent person?”

The question was odd but the tone was innocent so Whumpee dismissed it other than adding, “Yeah not normal.”

“You know, I am also interested in Italian and Flemish literature.”

The man had looked him up just like it said, it wasn’t that hard. It only seems logical that he would... it shouldn’t be off-putting.

“Uh, yeah I did a thesis on Dante.” He wouldn’t mind discussing it but it hardly seemed relevant as his mind was more focused on proving himself as innocent.

A spark glinted in the doctor’s eye, “I have a soft spot for the Divine Comedy, particularly L’Inferno.”

Whumpee could only clear his throat and nod slightly, something had made his mouth go dry.

“But anyway, like I said, we can work on the dosages and later whatever we prescribe to treat your symptoms until it strikes a good balance.” The doctor smiled reassuringly and then looked back down at his clipboard.

It seemed logical enough to the whumpee, although he certainly hoped he wouldn’t need a prescription, “Well I- I’d read that my symptoms could be managed with therapy.”

The doctor looked back up at Whumpee slowly, “Time will tell, but that will be up to me. For now, let’s continue with the forms shall we?”

Whumpee was unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of authority but he swallowed an urge to talk back and nodded. This man was meant to help him after all.

“Alright, let’s see, any history of mental illness in your family?”

“Um, no. Well not that I’m aware of. I was adopted, I didn’t really know my birth family.”

“So then it was your adopted family that contacted the police in regards to the- crime?”

“I didn-, um no. It was a coworker.”

“Hm. Are you in contact with them?”

“No, I haven’t seen them since I turned 18.”

Once again, the doctor looked up at Whumpee curiously. It made him a little uncomfortable and he shifted in his seat.

“Any close friends then?”

This was beginning to sting a little, “Um, no, not really anymore.” He was going to talk about her, she was no longer relevant.

This time the doctor shifted and crossed his legs, what had been a pleasant expression now bordered on an expression of enthusiasm. Why was it so offputting?

“So anyone you are particularly close with? Someone you would like me to update on your treatment or to be added to a visitation list?”

He thought he would be able to reasonably explain to this man that he was innocent, but all of these questions were not setting the right kind of stage to do such. He tried to hold back a grimace as he briefly shook his head no.

“Okay, well enough basic information for now. Shall we go ahead and discuss why you are here for treatment?”

Despite the calming sedatives, a pit began to form in his stomach.

“Would you like to talk me through it?” the doctor prompted again after a moment of silence.

Whumpee’s ears began to ring faintly, “I didn’t do it.”

The doctor’s eyebrow arched slightly but he didn’t lose his pleasant expression, “The police might not agree with that.”

“Listen, I know I am not well. But I didn’t do what they say I did.”

The doctor didn’t respond but instead seemed to leave the air around them hanging empty as he just sat there and watched Whumpee.

“I am telling the truth. I could never murder someone.” Whumpee felt his shirt getting damp, was he sweating?

The doctor adjusted his glasses and crossed his legs again and easily responded, “Yes, I believe you.”

“Seriously?” Whumpee felt a surge of relief. If he believed him there was still hope!

“Hm, yes, well, I believe that you do not believe you could. Whether you or your illness did it is another question. I have many patients that if healthy and thinking logically could never do what they have done to end up here.”

Just like that, the weak flame of hope was snuffed. The doctor couldn’t see past the accusations either. Why should he?

He studied Whumpee a little longer, making him resist the urge to squirm in his seat before saying, “Whumpee, I can see you’re disappointed, but you will be fine. I am confident that you will be cooperative in your treatment here, I can tell you want to get better. That is a great start. I can already tell we will get along very well and together, I can help you get through this.”

What had been well-worn laugh lines transformed into what Whumpee saw as a sickening smile. The doctor now looked downright giddy.

Which begged the question, what was he so excited about?

#mine #whatiswhump #anon #psychiatric whump #possessive doctor #involuntarily committed #sedation #drabble #falsely accused

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aphrodaisyacs · 4 years

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Fic Rec List (a tag game!)

Tagged by @mercia-lachesis 💗Thank you so much for the fic rec and tag!

Rules: Post links (Ao3, ff.net, etc.); specify fandom/pairing/etc; don’t answer the same fic twice - spread the appreciation; tag other people; you don’t have to answer all the questions, but leave them in the list so the next person can answer if they want.

Fandoms mentioned: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Harry Potter, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Good Omens, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, Stranger Things, Star Wars, One Punch Man

1. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (multiple chapters/parts): The Color of the Stars by @pseudonova >> ATLA, Katara/Zuko, canon divergence, slow burn, roadtrip fic

2. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (one-shot): Predetermination by Nightskyfury >> PJO, HOO, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, canon divergence, angst, character death, fluff, hurt/comfort, absolutely destroyed me I’m still recovering

3. Favourite WIP you’ve read this month: Southern Lights by @colourwhirled >> ATLA, Katara/Zuko, AU set in canon but canon events still happen if that makes sense, political drama, enemies to friends to lovers

4. One fic/series you’ve read which you keep coming back to again and again: The Princess, the Smuggler and the Sith Lord's Son by Sassaphrass >> Star Wars, Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader, Luke raised by Vader AU, light angst, Vader’s A+ parenting, an emotional rollercoaster which kills me at that One Part every single time

5. Most underrated fic you’ve read this year: wheel in the sky by havisham>> MCU, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, canon divergence, role swap

6. Most underrated fic you’ve read EVER: ið by @miikkasakari>> MCU, Thor & various, canon divergence- Thor gets banished to a different part of Earth, Thor-centric, collection of unconnected one-shots

7. Favourite whump/angst fic of the year: Mirror, Mirror by @improbabledreams900 >> Good Omens, Aziraphale & Crowley, angst with a happy ending, parallel universe- evil

8. Favourite hurt/comfort fic of the year: my fearful trip is done by @valkyrisms >> MCU, Loki & Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor, canon divergence

9. Favourite fluff fic of the year: Because I'm a Son of Hades by @doevademe >> PJO, HOO, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, friends to lovers, post-canon

10. Favourite gen fic of the year: With One More Try (Can We Start Again) by @aninfinitenumberofmonkeys >> MCU, Loki & Thor, time loop, Loki-centric

11. Favourite smut fic of the year: Human Cyborg Relations by SuggestiveScribe >> OPM, Genos/Sonic, fluff with banter, how can you say no to porn with cyborg dick? imnotweirdyoureweird

12. Favourite fix-it fic of the year/ever: Are You Familiar with Chaos Theory by HumbleFarmer >> MCU, Loki & Steve Rogers, Endgame spoilers, enemies to friends, road trip (but through time), I’ve barely read any Endgame fics but I’m so glad I did with this one

13. Favourite crack-fic of the year: Dark Lord Lessons by @kyrilu >> Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, not canon compliant, parody, I mean it’s tagged as a ship but it’s more gen/pre-slash

14. Favourite sick-fic this year: N/A I don’t really read sick-fics

15. Favourite kid-fic this year: Something Ordinary by literature_and_ocean_waves >> Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, raising the anti-christ

15. Fic this year which you didn’t expect to love as much as you do: In the Bleak Midwinter by TheLoud >> Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle Sr., time travel AU, slow burn, 1920s, it’s such a unique premise and I never even thought it might work until I tried it

16. Fic which convinced you to ship a pairing: master of puppets, i'm pulling your strings by wearealltalesintheend >> Stranger Things, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley & Billy Hargrove, canon divergence, fix-it, angst with a happy ending this ship was meh to me but this fic makes it work, probs bc of the Robin-centric friendship focus

17. Favourite AU you’ve read this year: In the language of flowers by dwellingondreams >> Harry Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley & Lily Evans Potter, various others, witch!Petunia and muggle!Lily AU, character swap AU

18. Longest fic/series you’ve read this year: FDitH 'verse by LullabyKnell >> Harry Potter, Regulus Black/Harry Potter, time travel fix-it, gen/pre-slash, slow burn, lots of unique and intriguing world building

19. The last fic you’ve read: what turns up in the dark? by @thelightofthingshopedfor >> MCU, Loki & Thor, Loki/Steve Rogers, canon divergence, thanks @mercia-lachesis for the rec!

20. Wildcard fic you haven’t mentioned but deserves a shout-out + why: the real banishment is the family we made along the way by scioscribe >> MCU, Hela & Loki, canon divergence, sibling bonding, unintentional redemption >> This fic has ruined me for post-Ragnarok fics because now whenever I come across one with Hela in it I’m like “Is there Hela & Loki sibling bonding? No? Not interested :/” Also I had no idea unintentional redemption was a trope I needed until this fic so it was an awakening of sorts on both counts.

As you can see I’m a slut for canon divergence AUs

I’m tagging: @pseudonova @colourwhirled @miikkasakari @improbabledreams900 @valkyrisms @doevademe @kyrilu @thelightofthingshopedfor (thank you guys for writing such amazing fics!) and also @wombathos @veliseraptor @loxxxlay @pennie-dreadful and anyone else who has made it this far down the post and is reading these very words right now :D

#tag meme #fic recs #marvel #atla #good omens #pjo #stranger things #star wars #opm

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cinnamon-toast-whump-blog · 7 years

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Whump, in Space: A Prompt List/Masterpost

I love the idea of messing around with different climates/weather conditions that you don’t really get on earth to cause characters Pain^TM. Just think of all the possibilities like??? You could do almost anything, but these are just a few of my fave ideas. watch me speak in vague terms to make it seem like i’m not 2000% talking about voltron here

((Also if anyone actually writes anything for any of this then you should totally tag me thxbye))

ANYWHO.

PART 1: PHYSICAL/EXTERNAL INJURY

The gravity here is wayy stronger than on Earth and I can’t exactly stand up lol I think my ship is about to collapse on top of me help

Why the fuck is there so much lightning on this planet, fuck

If getting struck by lightning is too unlikely to be realistic, make a new planet where it isn’t. There is no such thing as a plot contrivance in space

Acid rain! Or, I don’t know if this could actually be a thing but acid humidity. Like, it’s super humid but the water in the air is also acidic as fuck and slowly messes up your eyes/lungs/skin over time?? idk

Oh dear god it rains rocks/glass/knives/deadly objects here and the character can’t find stable cover, shit

S P A C E S H A R K N A D O im a breathing meme my good pals

PART 2: ATMOSPHERE STUFF

The planet’s atmosphere seems safe enough, until the character tries to start a campfire and learns that the air here is actually very very combustible oh shit

A planet that has an atmosphere mostly made of laughing gas

A character crashes there and they need to bandage their wounds/fix their ship/contact their team but they passed ‘incoherent’ a while ago buddy

A planet with an atmosphere of pure oxygen

This sounds fine but it’s actually lowkey deadly--you’ll get chest pains and be dizzy and cough a lot, and eventually have seizures and die etc, fun times

just google oxygen toxicity this shit has potential my friendos

Or maybe the atmosphere is fine chemically but like, the air pressure is really low? So a character would get less oxygen even at lower altitudes, maybe get really sick/oxygen deprived at higher ones

Bonus points if the other characters didn’t notice that when scanning the planet and think that the other character is faking because what do you mean, ‘altitude sickness?’ You’re at a pretty normal altitude buddy and oh shit wait fuck they passed out, fuck

((Bonus: a planet with an atmosphere with, like, a shitload of helium in it. Everyone sounds like a goddamned chipmunk. help them))

PART 3: TOO HOT (HOT DAMN) (ALSO COLD STUFF BC FUCK IT)

A planet that’s dry and Really Really Cold, making a characters water rations freeze solid... the only way available have to melt them is with body heat, but should they risk the hypothermia?

Alternatively: the character left their canteen out in the sun, and this planet’s so hot that the water is literally boiling. The character’s already dehydrated, and the water doesn’t look like it’ll be cooling off any time soon, so they really might need to drink it... but goddamn, are those burns gonna hurt if they do.

The climate is fucking nuts and goes from hot to cold really fast--this could go two ways imo.

1) A character goes to sleep wearing barely anything because it’s so damned hot, only to wake up a shivering mess and jesus christ where’s their jacket fuck

2) A character bundles up as warmly as they can and goes to sleep and when they wake up, they still feel cold but in a Bad Way and give me more F E V E R Y C H A R A C T E R S in this life there are never enough.

PART 4: OTHER (idk where to put these)

The sun on this planet is Really Really Bright and also it never sets (and the fauna is really loud all the time), which wouldn’t really be a problem if [Character] wasn’t already an insomniac and going to be stranded here for a long while

A planet that’s weirdly reflective/has a weird atmosphere and it creates a lot of mirages and illusions and stuff

Bonus points if they’re already in complete solitude/sick/already delirious or having hallucinations for some reason

The animals on this planet won’t keep quiet at night, which sucks enough without their calls sounding like tortured screams. [Character] has enough trouble with nightmares on their own, thanks.

Sorry, I know that was a long post but godDAMN, do I love me some space whump.

#big ol prompt list #im like 1/2way through writing like 6 separate prompts right now but i needed to get this off my chest for a sec #i just love it so much???#long post #sorry lol #but just think of the WHUMP-TENTIAL HERE PEOPLE #prompts #vld #whump

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convenientalias · 3 years

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I Rate Some Kdramas I’ve Watched by Quality of Whump

A while back I rated every cdrama I’d watched by quality of whump bc it is a main factor about what makes me like a cdrama. Now I’m having a boring evening so I’m back for the sequel: the same thing but for kdramas. Two quick qualifications:

1. Unlike the cdrama post, this is not ALL the kdramas I’ve watched bc there are too many and some of them I can’t really remember. (I’m also not including any kdramas I haven’t finished.)

2. Actually I’m less likely to watch a kdrama solely for whump bc I tend to look also for Suspense or Historical Aesthetic. (why is this more the case with kdramas than cdramas? I Don’t Know.) Anyways, if you’re lucky, you can get at least 2/3 of these things.

Without further ado:

Circle: Two Worlds Connected--I forgot to add this show at first but it is very whumpy. Yeo Jin Goo spends the whole thing looking extremely stressed and it’s a good look on him. People are getting kidnapped! Threatened! Having their memories erased! People are losing their brothers! People are crying! Good whumpy show, 8/10.

Confession--This show was mostly boring and kind of bad but the whump was decent. There was a guy who had a heart transplant whose heart was now having issues. Idk, he fainted a couple times, it was fun. There may have been other whump but it just wasn’t a very memorable show. 4/10.

Extraordinary You--Eun Dan-oh has a chronic illness (I think it’s a weak heart??) which might be more fun for me if I liked girls being whumped, but I’m not super into that. Bad things do happen to Baek-kyung, but it all feels samey and never goes anywhere. Oh, I do feel awful about Dried Squid Fairy’s tragic backstory though. I guess like a 4/10 again.

I Picked Up a Star on the Road--This show’s characters are mostly insufferable but its whump is pretty good actually since it’s centered around a dude getting kidnapped. Played for humor but that’s okay. However, there were characters more worthy of whump than the lead, and the whump was not equally passed around. 5/10, I feel like the vibe of this kidnapping is more kinky than whumpy.

It’s Okay Not to Be Okay--You know what? Sometimes women getting whumped is good when those women are Seo Ye Ji. Bad things happened to other people too but mostly whenever Ko Moon-young’s past or her relationship with her mother came up it was very good whump. 6/10.

The King: Eternal Monarch--This show’s decently whumpy but I somehow don’t feel it. Lee Gon’s father figure dies and he’s separated from his loved ones and all kinds of bad shit happens to him but I don’t care that much about Lee Gon so?? that’s unfortunate. Bad things also do happen to literally everyone else but, idk, it still doesn’t feel super whumpy to me. Two best whumps are poor Eun-sup getting shot and Kang Sin-jae’s ongoing existential crisis. But listen, they should have whumped Jo Yeong and I feel they did not adequately take advantage of the opportunity to do that. 6/10, you could probably make an argument for me to go higher but I don’t want to.

My Country: the New Age--If you’re not watching this show for whump and angst I’m really not sure what you’re watching it for. The history?? The maybe 2.5 minutes of chill per episode? I mean there are lots of pretty people and good ships but the main appeal of them is that everyone’s Suffering (TM). A lot of people get stabbed and/or betrayed. Even the happy scenes feel sad bc you don’t trust them. Ending is tragic and I would usually take off points for mixing tragedy with my whump but I accept it bc it was cathartic. 10/10.

Psychopath Diary--Genuinely I can’t remember if this show had good whump. I feel like if anyone I would have wanted to see Seo In-woo whumped bc he was pretty but I don’t recall that happening much. I think there was some though? 5/10 for “I can’t remember but I want to believe.” This drama probably shouldn’t be on this list but I love it so I’m including it despite my bad memory.

Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung--This light-hearted show still crammed a lot of whump in! Dowon gets everything from nightmares to fevers to arrow wounds to traumatic revelations, and Min U-won and Goo Hae-ryung both get arrested at different points and almost killed at others and have tragic backstories as well. Everyone’s fucked up over something but there’s no reason to let that ruin the rom-com/workplace comedy vibes, people. A lovely blend of light tone and still pretty intense whump. 8/10.

Save Me--This show combines the above mood of “I’ll take lady whump if it’s Seo Ye Ji” with a heavy dose of “what if we also whumped Woo Do Hwan? What if.” I don’t really like fiction about cults--they really creep me out--but the whump and the characterization of this show are both incredible, and honestly I feel that it’s a show where the whump and the characterization feed off each other and make each other better. 8/10.

White Christmas--Everything about this show is great, whump included. I mean some of the whumpiest scenes are just very tense chase or fight scenes with kids having mental breakdowns and attacking each other but they’re still good. People are threatened at gunpoint, locked up in dorms, pushed off cliffs, and generally beaten up. There’s a little hurt/comfort too but mostly it’s just hurt. A bad time for everyone except me, the viewer. 9/10.

That’s all, folks. I hope this very official and objective ranking will be helpful to at least someone.

#kdrama #whump

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convenientalias · 6 years

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Yuletide Rec List

Y’all there are 3365 fandoms in the Yuletide noms and some of them are really good so I thought I’d just make a promo post here and also rant a little bc I’m excited even tho it’s barely October just looking at this list.

So I’m gonna put the rest of this barely coherent ranting under a read more but like guys, I’m excited.

So here goes. Some fandom recs!

Books

The Alpennia Trilogy by Heather Rose Jones

Mistress/bodyguard ship in the first book, which leads to so many possibilities! Loyalty kink! Power imbalance! All that shit!

Amazing worldbuilding and magic mixed in with religion

I’ve only read the first book but I’m totally gonna request it

Best for femslash fic tbh, but I guess you could do gen.

The Shades of Magic series by V.E. Schwab

Again the worldbuilding is good. But the series is overall very dark. Also, an ensemble kind of feel.

My ship is two powerful magicians who seem to be the last of their kind, both working for royal families, one of whom lives as a prince and the other of whom is enslaved.

They’re enemies most of the time but still.

But a lot of people ship other things bc ensemble cast. There is one canon m/m ship. There is a slightly OP female crossdressing thief. There’s angsty brothers. There’s lots of people basically.

Good fandom for m/m, f/m, gen, even poly. Very good fandom for dark fic or whump imo.

Peter Darling by Austin Chant

Trans Peter Pan who used to be Wendy Darling

Ship is Peter Pan/Captain Hook

Writing style is gorgeous

Captures the cruel, childlike side of Peter Pan.

Good fandom for slash mostly, but I imagine you could pull off gen too.

Nero Wolfe series by Rex Stout

Detectives in New York in some vaguely historical time period.

Narrator is Archie Goodwin, very snarky and charming, one of my favorite characters of all time.

All the mysteries are fun but you’re mostly here for the dynamics between Archie, Nero Wolfe himself, and all the other regular members in the series--the detectives sometimes brought in to help out, the house cook, the pissed-off policemen, etc etc.

Also totally fine to read out of order, I’ve never really paid much attention to the order myself. Includes both novels and novellas.

A lot of people write slash in this fandom; I don’t really ship any slash ships for it (I’m kind of a gen bitch here) but I admit the potential is there.

Queen’s Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner

Technically YA fantasy but I’d say it’s not that firmly YA except for the first book.

Land of twists and intrigue with the occasional questing adventure. Pseudo-Greek setting.

Includes one of my favorite f/m ships for which I long for more dark fic.

Surprisingly active fandom, I am nowhere near caught up on the fanfic for the last book published.

Good fandom for het, slash, occasionally poly, and very good for GEN (sorry, the MC’s name is Gen and I couldn’t resist).

Goblin Market by Christina Rosetti

Idk why there’s a fandom nomination for a poem but I guess I’ll go with it, it’s a good poem.

Very ripe for femslash tho technically the MCs are sisters (but do they read like sisters? No, no they do not) so you might have to go AU for it.

Kind of dark and weird but childlike at the same time.

Movies/TV Shows/Anime/Literally Anything But Books

Kakegurui (anime/manga)

I’ve only watched the anime but I hear the manga is good.

Crazy high school obsessed with gambling gets even crazier when Yumeko the gambling freak shows up just to start drama.

Weirdly dark even tho nothing life threatening really happens. Ridiculously grotesque facial expressions on absolutely everyone.

Very good for femslash, decent for het and poly. You could probably write gen. But how.

Kado: The Right Answer (anime)

It’s sci-fi show that’s half about contact with aliens and half about the unhealthy relationship between an alien and his favorite human. And when I say half I mean “gets really dark in the last third”. But if you’re mostly interested in that part, it’s short enough that you still get there pretty quick.

I really just want dark slash fic, that’s all guys.

Two Faces of January (movie)

This is also a book by Patricia Highsmith but I nominated the movie bc it has Oscar Isaac and Viggo Mortensen.

Dark thriller vibes

Slashy vibes with weird daddy kink overtones (it can’t be helped, and this remains constant whether it’s book or movie)

Somehow I still ship it despite not really liking daddy kink.

Just trust me

Singin’ In the Rain

I’m really hoping this was nominated by someone who wants OT3 fic.

That’s all.

Gattaca

If you don’t already know about Gattaca are you even following me

It has Jude Law in it

Also it explores dystopian ableism and yet has an oddly ableist ending which consistently PISSES ME OFF, which is why I always request fix-it fic.

People really like slash for this movie and I get it but I don’t really ship it but a lot of people do so if you watch it, you will probably ship it too.

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell

British miniseries which I somehow like despite not liking most BBC shows. (Seriously, my roommate and sister have both tried to get me into Sherlock and Dr. Who and I just can’t, good for y’all who like such things tho.)

I’m mostly here for the fae aspects and one of the MCs being traumatized and descending into insanity.

But the aesthetic is also pretty rad.

Harlots

It’s about harlots. Kind of Victorian? I think? Idk time periods guys.

It portrays sex and sex workers in interesting, pretty down to earth ways.

It’s a good place for femslash but I somehow find myself craving gen.

The aesthetic is strong.

Luke Cage

I’ve still only seen the first season but it was rad

A lot of black people, guys

Also superhero-y things

Probably best for het, tbh, tho I would slash ship Luke with Cornell. Why doesn’t anyone seem to ship that?

Sakeru Gum

It’s like a five minute commercial compilation that will change your life.

I’ve probably reblogged it at some point. Otherwise, search it on Youtube.

Loooong looooong mAAaaaaan

Fandoms I’m Not Actually In But Might Join If The Prompts Look Good

There’s a couple different books nommed by Mary Renault! I’m reading the Alexander Trilogy right now (Alexander the fuckign Great, guys), which is nommed, so if things work out I might write for that. There’s also The Last of the Wine and Mask of Apollo.

Also, there are two series nominated that are by K.J. Charles. I’ve only ever read The Henchmen of Zenda by K.J. Charles but that was really good, so I may have to try one of these series out. Of course, I’d have to actually have time, and series are a bit lengthy for me this semester! But I might read a book or two if the prompts look excellent.

Someone nominated Learning Curves by Ceillie Simkiss? Which is an indie lesfic romance novella which was published only this August. I’m shocked it somehow ended up in the tagset and very curious about prompts. But I haven’t actually read this book, I’ve just heard of it.

The Caper Court series by Caro Fraser sounds interesting, too. It’s about a guy trying to become a lawyer who needs to fulfill a pupillage first, whatever the fuck that is, but apparently there’s gay people and intrigue, so I’m interested. I’ve started the first book.

Also, Zorro by Isabel Allende is nominated. I’ve never read this book but I’ve always wanted to because I love Zorro--the old TV show was one of my favorites as a kid. But I’ve never read a literary take on it.

If I can watch the Kdrama for Orange Marmalade, I’m interested in that too. I’ve only ever read the webmanga, didn’t know it was a live action now. It’s got vampires :) and high school drama.

So this rant was kind of unnecessary, but I just have a lot of feelings, guys, okay? Just...a lot of feelings...

#yuletide 2018

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