#moriel meta

[juarezesdeporte]

LO JUZGAN LOCO; HOY ‘PARRAL’ ARAGÓN TRIUNFA EN LOS ESTADOS UNIDOS

Polémico y frontal, apasionado, inquieto y ‘aventado’, Jesús ‘Parral’ Aragón, -quien en el ápodo lleva el nombre de su ciudad natal-, hizo oídos sordos a las voces de sus detractores que lo juzgaron loco y no creyeron en sus grandes sueños ni en sus ambiciosas metas a cumplir en el deporte, específicamente en el basquetbol

A la vuelta de los años, tras una larga travesía por territorio nacional y parte de la Unión Americana, contra viento y marea, con base en una gran fe en Dios, una alta dosis de autoconfianza, una constante preparación y, sobre todo, un gran deseo por trascender, Jesús ha roto el molde y triunfa en el baloncesto colegial de los Estados Unidos.

En la zona técnica por tercera campaña con las Águilas del Colegio del Norte de Nuevo México (NNMC, por sus siglas en ingles), con sede en Española, Nuevo México, Aragón guió esta temporada a su equipo al cuarto lugar de la Conferencia Atlética Continental de la NAIA (Asociación Nacional Atlética Intercolegial), escuadra de División II de la NCAA y lo clasificó al torneo de la referida conferencia, donde entrará en acción la semana próxima.

“Ahorita estoy en donde soñé, dirigir un basquetbol colegial de Estados Unidos. Gracias a Dios llegó la oportunidad”, externó.

Aragón confesó que sus propósitos encontraron eco en coaches que él siempre admiró.

“Yo le platicaba a ‘Nacho’ Moreno (+), al profesor Homero Moriel, y al ‘profe’ ‘Rufo’ Torres (+), gente que siempre he admirado, les platicaba que esos eran mis sueños y mis metas y me decían que le echara ganas, que todo era posible”, expresó

En cambio, también hubo personas a las cuales sus objetivos simplemente les causaron risa.

“Hubo otros que me tiraron de loco, que se burlaron de mí. Siempre ‘Parral’ fue una persona polémica en el desarrollo del deporte en Juárez porque yo siempre quería que Juárez estuviera más adelante de lo que estamos y lógico, se burlaban. Me veían como un soñador que estaba desubicado, tal vez”, compartió.

‘Parral’ siente, saborea y disfruta al máximo estos momentos en su trayectoria y se los dedica por completo a sus padres Concepción Vázquez y Jesús Aragón por el esfuerzo cumplido y el sacrificio realizado para sacar adelante tanto a su hermana Dulce como a él.

En el caso de Aragón padre, resaltó que, sin mayor preparación académica se la ‘rifó’ desponchando llantas, labor que hoy valora y aquilata sobremanera.

Con ese ejemplo en casa, el timonel de las Águilas subió peldaño a peldaño la escalera hasta llegar a este punto.

“Yo siempre tuve la aspiración de llegar a donde estoy ahorita. Siempre fue mi aspiración llegar a ser un entrenador destacado que pasara por todos los niveles, siempre quise experimentar todos los niveles”, declaró vía telefónica.

Oriundo de la ‘capital del mundo’ -donde nació el 17 de noviembre de 1978-, una tierra en la cual, la leyenda cuenta que, al momento de ser bautizados, los niños reciben -además de agua bendita- o un guante de beisbol o una cinta blanca de judo, Jesús practicó el arte marcial japonés por varios años, el primer deporte en su vida.

Inclusive calificó a la Universiada Nacional del 2001 con los colores del dojo de los Indios de la UACJ.

Pero, la suerte estaba echada y su destino, marcado desde años atrás.

Seducido por el sonido que produce el bote del balón cuando golpea el machimbre así como por el chasquido de la pelota al momento de tocar la red y entrar al aro, ‘Parral’ colgó el judogui y eligió el ‘deporte ráfaga’, disciplina que comenzó a jugar a los siete años.

EL SUEÑO COMIENZA A FORJARSE

Convencido y sabedor que su vocación era dirigir y sentir la adrenalina no dentro sino fuera de la cancha, en el banquillo, ‘Parral’ entonces estudiante de la Licenciatura en Entrenamiento Deportivo comenzó a forjar su sueño en la cancha del Instituto de Ciencias Biomédicas (ICB) de la UACJ, a inicios de la década del 2000.

Aragón, -quien considera al reconocido entrenador Homero Moriel el ‘Jefe de Jefes’- presentó al coach Ángel ‘Pompis’ González un proyecto para formar la escuelita de basquetbol Indios UACJ dirigida a los hijos de los maestros y empleados de la universidad.

Aprobado éste, le solicitó las instalaciones al extinto Manuel ‘Meny’ Torres, otro personaje apasionado del basquetbol.

“Ahí empecé, eran cinco niños y dos niñas, siete ‘chavalitos’. Todos los miércoles y los viernes entrenábamos ahí en la tardecita”, recordó.

Jesús, un ex jugador de Indios UACJ cuyo fuerte era la defensa férrea y ruda, quien en el 2000 anuló y frustró a Sam Bowie, estrella de los Gallos de Pelea y, como respuesta, el afroamericano le propinó un codazo en la nariz, acción que estuvo a punto de desatar una batalla campal en el Gimnasio Universitario vio como esos ‘siete chavalitos’ pasaron a ser a setenta y luego cien.

El alboroto y el ruido de los pequeñines terminaron por ‘echar’ al ‘Parral’ y compañía de la canchita de ICB.

“Busqué dónde irme y encontré una bodega de un papá -de uno de sus alumnos- que me la rentó que después la convertí en el Gimnasio Milema y ahí llegué a tener hasta 400 niños por semana, entrenando de lunes a viernes”, expresó el admirador y hoy amigo cercano del neocasagrandino José Luis ‘Satanás’ Arroyos, su coequipero en Indios y su rival en los duelos Zacatecas contra Colima.

‘Parral’, quien tras el citado altercado con Bowie se unió al ‘enemigo’, recibió la oportunidad del Raúl Palma para jugar con los Gallos de Pelea en la Liga Nacional de Baloncesto Profesional (LNBP).

Integró el equipo campeón del 2001 que derrotó a Lobos UAC y el conjunto Campeón de Campeones del 2002 sobre Correcaminos UAT (Ciudad Victoria).

Fuera de la cancha, creó en el Milema las ligas de basquetbol infantil y juvenil para colegios particulares y clubes de baloncesto.

Deseoso de aprender y adquirir la mayor cantidad de conocimientos posible, Aragón se les pegaba como lapa a los coaches Palma Cano, a ‘Pompis’ González y a Jesús Francisco ‘Rufo’ Torres (+) en la época en la cual, tenía a su cargo las fuerzas básicas de los Gallos de Pelea.

Al medio tiempo de los juegos de los Gallos, sus pupilos presentaban un espectáculo con música y balones de colores que entretenía al público.

SU INCURSIÓN EN EL BASQUETBOL PROFESIONAL

Concluida la participación de la escuadra verde y blanca en la LNBP y, tras un breve andar del conjunto propiedad del comunicador Rafael Fitzmaurice Meneses en la liga norteamericana ABA, el derrotero del ‘Parral’, cambió de orientación y se dirigió hacia el profesionalismo.

“Fui creciendo y me involucré más en el basquetbol profesional porque también eran mis ilusiones crecer en el basquetbol profesional”, comentó quien como jugador compartió la duela con Enrique ‘Palmita’ González, ‘Ray’ Rodríguez, Raúl Palma Jr. (+), José Escobedo, Jorge Vargas, Javier Mendoza, Francisco Morales, entre muchos más.

Fue así que en 2007, a los 29 años, Antonio Asiain le ofreció un contrato para dirigir a los Manzaneros de Cuauhtémoc, en la Liga Estatal de Basquetbol (LEB).

“Ese fue mi primer equipo, no me fue muy bien. Fue una experiencia un poco difícil, no me pagaron, no terminó el equipo la temporada y batallé mucho”, afirmó.

Inspirado por el ejemplo de Eduardo Nájera, -desde su óptica el mejor jugador mexicano en la historia, en la NBA-, en sus viajes a Aurora, Colorado, donde compraba carros usados, gastaba el dinero adquirido en la venta de llantas para ir a ver a los Nuggets de Denver con el deportista de Meoqui en sus filas o, en su defecto, a la Universidad de Denver.

Vivida la mala experiencia en la capital estatal de la manzana, la frontera llamó de nuevo a Aragón, quien fungió como coach de los Indios de Ciudad Juárez bajo la dirección de ‘Rufo’ Torres, en el referido circuito estatal.

Tras la enfermedad del ‘profe’ Torres, tomó las riendas del equipo como entrenador en jefe, cargo que ocupó por varias temporadas.

‘PARRAL’ EN PERSONALES

Nombre: Jesús Aragón Vázquez

Fecha y lugar nacimiento: 17 noviembre 1978. Hidalgo del Parral, Chihuahua.

Edad: 45 años

Equipo: Águilas del Colegio del Norte de Nuevo México (NNMC, por sus siglas en inglés), con sede en Española, Nuevo México

La escuadra compite en la Conferencia Atlética Continental de la NAIA (Asociación Nacional Atlética Intercolegial), en la División II de la NCAA.

Cuarto lugar de la Conferencia Atlética Continental de la NAIA (Asociación Nacional Atlética Intercolegial), y lo clasificó al torneo de la referida conferencia, donde entrará en acción la semana próxima.

Actual entrenador de la Selección Nacional Mexicana Universitaria.

Coach asistente de Héctor Santos e Ignacio Moreno con el tricolor en las Universiadas Mundiales ‘Taipei 2017’ y en ‘Nápoles 2019’.

En la Liga Estatal de Basquetbol (LEB) dirigió a los Manzaneros de Cuauhtémoc, Mineros de Parral, Indios de Juárez, Dorados de Chihuahua e Indomables de Ciudad Juárez.

Dirigió en 2016 a las Panteras de Aguascalientes en la Liga Nacional de Baloncesto Profesional.

En 2022, en el primer año de la LNBP femenil tomó la dirección de las Plateras de Fresnillo, Zacatecas.

Primer entrenador del estado en dirigir un juego oficial en el Don Haskins Center contra los Mineros de UTEP, en diciembre del 2022.

ARAGÓN DECLARA

“Ahorita estoy en donde soñé, dirigir un basquetbol colegial de Estados Unidos. Gracias a Dios llegó la oportunidad”

“Le platicaba a ‘Nacho’ Moreno (+), al profesor Homero Moriel, y al ‘profe’ ‘Rufo’ Torres (+), gente que siempre he admirado, les platicaba que esos eran mis sueños y mis metas y me decían que le echara ganas, que todo era posible”

“Hubo otros que me tiraron de loco, que se burlaron de mí, siempre ‘Parral’ fue una persona polémica en el desarrollo del deporte en Juárez porque yo siempre quería que Juárez estuviera más adelante de lo que estamos y lógico, se burlaban”

“Una experiencia muy bonita el entrar a esa cancha y como mexicano dirigir ahí, es otro rollo, son otros escenarios. Me tocó jugarle a UTEP y dirigir ahí en UTEP que también para mí era un sueño”.

“Siempre tuve la aspiración de llegar a donde estoy ahorita. Siempre fue mi aspiración llegar a ser un entrenador destacado que pasara por todos los niveles”.

“Me cansé de la burocracia y de los problemas políticos que envuelven al basquetbol ahí en el estado de Chihuahua”.

“A los 50 años me retiro ya del basquetbol. Quiero dedicarles tiempo a mis hijas, a mi esposa y a mí mismo como persona”.

“No me veo dirigiendo ya de ‘viejito’ ni me veo viajando con los equipos ya con una edad grande”.

“Creo y confío que el deporte del basquetbol es para los jóvenes, tanto entrenadores como jugadores”.

“Siempre he sido muy soñador en el aspecto de mis metas y pues sí, mucha gente se burló de mí”.

“Mucha gente no me quiere en Juárez precisamente por eso, porque siempre he luchado por salir adelante más de lo que tenemos en Juárez y no nos parece que nos lo digan”.

(Por Sergio Arturo Duarte Méndez/Maquina Deportiva)

(Fotos: cortesía Jesús Aragón)

#local

[moiraineswife]

Mor is selfless af meta

Because I made a little throwaway post a little while back but people still apparently don’t get the Mor is selfless as all hell. So I thought I would compile a long, rambling list of Reasons and Evidence as to why irreverence does not mean disregard and why taking care for and loving yourself does not mean selfishness.  

Right, so, apparently people still think Mor is selfish (w h y?) which I...obviously disagree with. I don’t think that she makes a habit of putting her own needs/wants above others’ (though if she did she would be entirely entitled to, given what she’s been through/the abuse she endured) I just think she stopped letting other people rule her. I think she stopped taking the opinions and wants of other people for her as gospel and acting only on them at the expense of herself and her own wants and agency She does what she loves and she does what she needs but that doesn’t mean she acts selfishly. It just means that what’s important to her and what she wants to do she now does.

But I don’t think she puts her needs above others. There’s a thoughts vs actions distinction here - she refuses to place any more validity or weight to the opinions of others over her own - her feelings and ideas are valid and she has the right to express them and act upon them. She lets herself make the choices that she wants to make. But actually I think the choices that she makes are often very selfless and she puts the people that matter to her above her own well-being and happiness and she actually does this repeatedly.

Variety of ‘Mor being subtly selfless’ examples and analysis to follow. 

“Don’t get me started on what you did to me Under the Mountain.” Rhys went still. As still as I’d ever seen him, as still as the death now beckoning in those eyes. Then his chest began to move, faster and faster. Across the pillars towering behind him, I could have sworn the shadow of great wings spread. He opened his mouth, leaning forward, and then stopped. Instantly, the shadows, the ragged breathing, the intensity were gone, the lazy grin returning. “We have company. We’ll discuss this later.” “No, we won’t.” But quick, light footsteps sounded down the hall, and then she [Mor] appeared.

Right, listen, this scene flat out parallels Rhys’ rescue of Feyre at her wedding and I refuse to see it in any other light. Feyre suffers a panic attack, she flashes back to UtM, she needs help, she needs a way out, Rhys appears and does just that. Same thing happens here. Feyre (inadvertently) triggers a panic attack in Rhys, he flashes back to UtM, he needs help, he needs away out, Mor is there in a heartbeat. That’s as much as a coincidence as Rhys showing up exactly when Feyre needed him: ie it’s literally not a coincidence at all.  

Right, so, for context, this is the first time that Feyre is at the Night Court since...well everything. At this point in time the only people know who about his and Feyre’s history as well as the fact that Rhys and Feyre are mates are Mor and Rhys. This is because the first words out of Rhys’ mouth when he saw Mor again after fifty years were ‘she’s my mate’ and he then proceeded to tell her everything. So for three months the only people who’ve known what Rhys went through and what he’s dealing with due to his bond to Feyre are Mor and Rhys. That means the only person who’s been supporting Rhys through all of this is Mor.

So when it comes to it and Feyre is there and having witnessed the shoe-throwing, less than wonderful reaction Feyre had to Rhys the night before Mor makes sure she’s nearby the next day. She makes sure that she’s around and the second that Rhys gets out of his depth she’s there to balance things and smooth them over. Which she does in spite of Rhys’ grumbling.

“You could be attending your own duties,” he said testily. I clamped my lips tighter together. I’d never seen Rhys … irked. [...] “And as my only remaining relative,” Rhys went on, “Mor believes she is entitled to breeze in and out of my life as she sees fit.” “So grumpy this morning,” Mor said, plopping two muffins onto her plate.

He huffs about it but there’s no doubt that Mor’s appearance was sorely needed and that she calms him down and grounds him. Mor also goes out of her way to welcome Feyre, to make her feel like she fits in at the Court, to be a friend to her, to help her, and to encourage her to give Rhys a chance.  

‘...Mor said, swirling her wine, her shoulders loosening as Azriel at last blinked, and seemed to shake off whatever memory had frozen him.

[...]

“A new bastard in the camp—and an untrained shadowsinger to boot. Not to mention he couldn’t even fly thanks to—” Mor cut in lazily, “Stay on track, Cassian.” Indeed, any warmth had vanished from Azriel’s face. But I quieted my own curiosity as Cassian again shrugged, not even bothering to take note of the silence that seemed to leak from the shadowsinger. Mor saw, though—even if Azriel didn’t bother to acknowledge her concerned stare, the hand that she kept looking at as if she’d touch, but thought better of it.

These both happen at the first dinner at the House of Wind. Once again Mor is monitoring things carefully and she intervenes - casually, lazily, thoughtlessly, as though she doesn’t even care/is barely noticing what she’s doing but she knows exactly what’s going on. She keeps very careful watch over Az throughout the dinner, reacting when he feels better, intervening when Cass started wandering into dangerous waters and showing such overt concern for Az that Feyre noticed it before she knew anything about either of them/their dynamic. And as with what we saw before with Rhys her actions aren’t rewarded with any kind of gratitude from the people she’s looking out for - but she does it anyway. 

Azriel just shook his head. “I’ll go. The Prison sentries know me—what I am.” I wondered if the shadowsinger was usually the first to throw himself into danger. Mor’s fingers stilled on the stem of her wineglass, her eyes narrowing on Amren.

[...]

“Here we go,” Cassian grumbled. Mor gave Azriel a warning glare to tell him not to volunteer this time. The spymaster just gave her an incredulous look in return.

Azriel: *is first to volunteer to go into dangerous situations likely due to his own disregard for his personal safety and the way he prioritises others over himself* Mor: *reproves him for doing this because he does matter. twice.* Fandom: *oh but she’s so selfish, she doesn’t care about Az at all! She doesn’t show any regard for him/love towards him/anything at all until the very end of the book when he gets shot* Me: -_- A N Y W A Y. 

She stared and stared at the Book—as if it were a ghost, as if it were a miracle—and said, “It is the Leshon Hakodesh. The Holy Tongue.” Those quicksilver eyes shifted to Rhysand, and I realized she’d understood, too, why she’d gone. Rhysand said, “I heard a legend that it was written in a tongue of mighty beings who feared the Cauldron’s power and made the Book to combat it. Mighty beings who were here … and then vanished. You are the only one who can uncode it.” It was Mor who warned, “Don’t play those sorts of games, Rhysand.”

Oh look, it’s Mor watching out for Amren’s well-being as well as Rhys and Azriel’s. It’s almost as though....There’s a theme here. Shocking. Even though Amren is one of the most powerful beings in the world Mor still has her back and still looks out for her. It’s almost as though she deeply loves and cares for her little found family and wants to protect them, even from small things. Incredible. 

And just in case anyone was doubting (since this relationship falls under a lot of scrutiny from Mor’s side) she also puts herself out there for Cassian’s sake too :) 

 “Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian … he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court—and outside of it. Him and Azriel, that is.”

Against the popular fandom belief that Cass still feels guilty about what happened with the Incident and that Mor somehow encourages this/benefits from it in some way I give you this. Actual canon. Because the only response that Mor ever shows to Cassian’s part in her past is gratitude. She is grateful. She is grateful that he was kind and good and gave her a choice. She is grateful that he rescued her from her abusive situation. It’s been five hundred years and she is still grateful to him for risking himself to get her out of there. And she considers him to be worth more than any other male she’s ever met aside from Rhys. 

Mor, on her knees beside Cassian, hurtled for the king with a cry of pure wrath. He sent a punch of power to her. She dodged, a knife angled in her hand, and— Azriel cried out in pain. She froze. Stopped a foot from the throne. Her knife clattered to the floor.

 To be entirely clear about what happens here, okay: the king shreds Cassian’s wings with half thought and Mor, with absolutely no magic, with nothing to defend herself, with no ability to protect herself and with nothing but a single, solitary knife in her hand against a centuries old king strong enough to strip the magic from the two most powerful Illyrian warriors in history, the most powerful High Lord in history, and Feyre who has the power of all seven high lords in her veins at the same time launches herself at the king to punish him for what he’s done to her friend. And the only reason that she stops her attack is not because of the magic he tries to hit her with - but Azriel, because if she’d hurt the king then Azriel would have died but at no point is her own safety a concern or a consideration here. But...Yeah, sure, Mor doesn’t care about Cass that’s...just. yeah. 

Next point: 

But Mor hopped off the bed, opened the door for me, and said, “There are good days and hard days for me—even now. Don’t let the hard days win.”

I’m using this as a kind of catch-all quote for a couple of points. First of all I think a lot of people seem to think Mor is ‘over’ what happened to her? Or there’s certainly a lot of talk about how ‘jfc it was 500 years ago move on’ when it comes to Mor...yet we frequently discuss Cassian, Azriel and Rhys’s childhoods (funny that) Anyway, the point is that Mor is not just magically better/never suffers for her trauma. She still has hard days. She just doesn’t let them win. But that means that all of that aloofness, all of that irreverence, all of that brightness and light and hope is something that she fights for. Constantly. Trauma does not have an expiry date, it doesn’t just up and leave one day, it still affects her, it still hurts her, she just refuses to let it beat her. And that makes her strong af but anyway. 

Second thing I want to talk about is how much Mor opens up for Feyre’s benefit. I’m just using this quote for that because it happens several times throughout the book and we’d be here all day if I quoted them all and they’re well enough known I think that I don’t need them. But Mor rips open old wounds of hers over and over and over again for Feyre. She tells her what happened in grim, explicit detail, she tells her how it affected her, she rips open those wounds again to show Feyre that it is possible to heal from them. It’s possible to endure the dark horrors that she, that they both, have endured and still come out able to love and trust and be bright and warm and friendly and selfless. 

(And aside from Feyre’s storyline and what this does for her this is an incredibly important message for abuse survivors in an audience as well. Because it’s a fairly frequent thing that we see- especially female characters- suffer some form of abuse or hurt (usually at the hands of men) and as a result they become acerbic and cold and withdrawn and mistrustful. I am not in anyway saying that this is a ‘bad’ response to trauma or pain. It happens. It’s real. But in terms of media portrayal seeing something that actively goes against that is I think incredibly important. Because that’s not what has to happen. Mor came out of what she endured and she came out of it soft and warm and selfless and loving and that’s a perfectly valid endpoint of recovery too. Dark days don’t have to lead to more darkness. They can lead to bright, warm sunshine too. and that’s important.) 

This also leads me on to the role Mor plays in the Court of Dreams. I’ve talked before about her position in the Court of Nightmares being empowering (and a perfect counterpoint to the Tamlin/Lucien dynamic when it comes to thinking about her and Rhys and how they respond/react to her being forced to return to the site of her abuse/trauma) And it is. She is given power over her abusers. Her father is reduced to a steward and she is given not only authority over him but she is given his authority. She rules the place that tormented her and that is so incredibly important but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect her, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t performing a selfless act for the sake of her court and it doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her (hint: it’s not) 

Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her.  [...] “How was your visit to the Court of Nightmares?” She paused, her face going uncharacteristically pale. “Fine. It’s always a delight to see my parents. As you might guess.” [...] “I’m sorry—for all that you endured.” “Thank you,” she said, coming over to watch me. “Visiting them always leaves me raw.”

 All of these are Mor’s direct responses either facing a trip to the CoN (the first quote) or after visiting them (the second). Yes Mor is in a position of power over her abusers. Yes that is, in a sense, empowering and likely helpful in terms of her recovery. But the fact is that she does, and has for centuries, returned to the place that she was abused and tortured and traumatised. It’s like what Feyre does at the end of ACOMAF - returning to the Spring Court with Tamlin for the good of her court. Except Mor has been doing this for hundreds of years, even though it leaves her raw, even though it can still make her panicky and upset. She does it. Which makes her brave and selfless as all hell I will fight you on this point. 

More things: 

 Cassian realized I was in one piece and hurtled for Rhys, who was struggling to rise, mud covering his bare skin, but Mor—Mor saw my face. I went up to her, cold and hollow. “I want you to take me somewhere far away,” I said. “Right now.” I needed to get away—needed to think, to have space and quiet and calm. Mor looked between us, biting her lip. “Please,” I said, and my voice broke on the word. Behind me, Rhys moaned my name again. Mor scanned my face once more, and gripped my hand. We vanished into wind and night.

 [...]

“Still recovering, but fine. Pissed at me, of course, but he can shove it.” I combined Mor’s yellow gold with the red I’d used for the Illyrian wings, and blended until vibrant orange emerged. “Thank you—for not telling him I was here.” A shrug.

Again Mor puts other people’s needs over own. She took Feyre away from Rhys - knowing it would hurt Rhys, knowing it would upset him, knowing that Feyre was forcing her to choose a side but choosing it anyway. Then she dismisses Rhys being angry with her and Feyre’s thanks for what it cost her to help her and keep her location from Rhys (I’m pretty sure Rhys didn’t just politely ask her this once over a cup of tea and then let the matter drop. Not if Mor describes him as being pissed at her) 

Even more evidence: 

It was satisfactory enough to my mate—who at last looked at Mor. She nodded once, but said, “I know my orders.” I wondered what those might be—why I hadn’t been told—but she gripped my hand. [...] Mor kept at my side, constantly monitoring. The last line of defense. If Cassian and Azriel were hurt, I realized, she was to make sure I got out by whatever means. Then return.

Right to make this part even more explicit, because I think the difficulty here of what Mor has to do is possible to be underrated and I want there to be no doubt: before they went to infiltrate Hybern Rhys ordered Mor to leave Cassian and Azriel, two of the people she loves most in the world, behind if they were injured in order to get Feyre to safety. And this is something that Mor agreed to and acknowledged and I have no doubt would have done if the need had arisen. And then, once she had gotten Feyre to safety, she herself would have returned and put herself in an incredible amount of danger to get them back. 

This is like....the dictionary definition of selflessness idk what to tell you any more okay. 

Is this enough? Do I need to say more? Or can we just, like re-read ACOMAF and remind ourselves what an incredible specimen of pure selfless goodness Morrigan is? 

TL;DR: Mor is selfless af and I will fight you on this point. That is all. 

#morrigan #moriel #azriel #rhysand #cassian #feyre #feyrhys #cassian x mor #mor x rhys #feyre x mor #acomaf #acotar series #acotar meta #mor meta #moriel meta #my meta #:) #text post tag #LOOK #EVIDENCE #CANON #U CANNOT ARGUE WITH CANON #yet apparently some people try #anyways #here #have at it

[elesianne]

The names of Caranthir’s daughters

I decided to make a post about the names of Caranthir and Tuilindien’s daughters in my Fëanorian marriages series so I can link back to it in my author’s notes.

Moriel Elerrína

father-name Moriel

morë ‘dark, black’ + -iel ‘daughter’

= 'daughter of the black-haired one' or 'black-haired daughter' –> because black-haired daughter of black-haired father (cf. Carnistir’s father-name Morifinwë)

mother-name Elerrína

elen ‘star’ + rína ‘crowned’

'crowned with stars', a name of Taniquetil –> because of her freckles

She chooses to be called Moriel among the Noldor, Elerrína among the Vanyar

Vaniel Líriwen

father-name Vaniel

either from vane/vanya ‘beautiful/fair-haired’ or from Vanya ‘one of the Vanyar’’ + iel ‘daughter’

= 'daughter of beautiful/fair-haired one', ‘daughter of Vanya’, 'beautiful daughter' –> because the daughter of a fair-haired, beautiful (in Carnistir’s opinion) Vanya mother

mother-name Líriwen

lírë ‘song’ + ‘wen’ maiden

= ‘song maiden' –> because she makes up her own songs ever since she is a baby, and finds great delight in music

She chooses to use Líriwen as her primary name.

So their father-names are a simple patronymic and matronymic – basically ‘daughter of Carnistir’, ‘daughter of Tuilindien’, by the way of descriptors of the parents in the names.

#my ocs #líriwen #moriel #caranthir's daughters #elf names #yscotm meta

[imlisaok]

Azriel Theory

So, we know that Az has shadows. We don't know to what extent these shadows help him, or if he can hear them/talk to them/communicate with them. What we do know is that he acquired them a few years after he was born, presumably when he was being tormented by his older brothers. They must've somehow 'protected' him in the only way they could: masking his terror, and his pain. Although they weren't so successfully, I'd say they symbolized the fear and pain he experienced. Because, despite all the years that have occurred, the memory still lingers. So do the shadows. It's an old wound he keeps scratching somehow. And, even if the shadows make him such an excellent spy, I think they also weigh him down. It's a reminder of a time he was weak, powerless, hopeless. And I don't think Az has fully recovered, which could also explain why he hasn't necessarily pursued Mor. Az had no control for a while, and I feel the shadows are just a way to control his emotions and conceal what he truly feels, blah blah blah. Anyway, my theory is that rather than Az dying (like the entire fandom suspects), I believe his shadows will disappear/die. And I think it's going to occur right after he sacrifices himself for Mor/Cassian/anybody in the squad, really. Because, he'll unwittingly be "letting go" of what happened to himself all those years ago. He may not have showed it, but I think Mor's incident affected him in a deeper way. He's had no closure, and as we all know, the Inner Circle is pretty dysfunctional and sucks at directly communicating their problems. So when he does sacrifice himself, his shadows will probably be like "Nope. Our job is done!" and kind of disappear, maybe create a shield to protect him? And the aftermath symbolizes Az releasing the pain and the powerlessness he had felt. Like chains of their own. Realizing that even if he had been placed in a crappy situation, he could come out of it, and he WOULD. Which prompts him to confess his feelings for Mor, because he's READY now. No more pain, no more fear, no more feeling "lesser" for not being in control. Thoughts?

#moriel #azriel #my meta #acomaf #acowar #morrigan #moriel meta #azriel meta

[nikethestatue]

How did the whole “shipping Gwynriel” even start? Before ACOSF I wasn’t really involved in the fandom (I wouldn’t say I am now but I do spend more time lurking on Tumblr and Instagram) and when I saw people shipping Azriel and Gwyn I was like ... what did I miss? They never interacted except like a couple of times during training? Then I found the two extra chapters and the Azriel one confirmed Elriel so I don’t understand , did Sarah say something against Elriel? Are there other extra chapters or teasers? Since when he wouldn’t go as far as to call Gwyn a friend and handmedown gifts are shipping material, especially when Azriel is pining over Elain

So honestly, I myself don't remember the evolution of Gwynriel. After ACOSAF, both Azriel and Cassian were shipped with Emerie (lol).

Then some teasers were published but they centered mostly on Eris and Nesta.

And then ACOSF came out, and I think until the bonus chapter became well-known, it still wasn't a thing. But there is person who is extremely active in the fandom who started pushing completely unproven Gwynriel theories very aggressively. Basically, they built a following around these theories, which again, are literally based on NOTHING--like the Illyrian plot, which they came up with (that Azriel and Gwyn?? will be in Illyria and doing something or other there). And they decided to completely disregard all Elriel moments, claiming they were either 'nothing' or 'brother/sister' or 'lust' or 'Elain is weak and stupid and needs to be saved'.

And basically, if you say a lie enough times, it kind of seems like it's true?

But no, Sarah never said anything about Elriel.

In fact, most of the anti efforts are directed at basically negating Sarah's words and trying to 'prove' that Elain's/Elriel's book isnt next, but that it will be Azriel's book! (Sarah never said that he'd get a book, only that his story will be told. Sarah specifically DID say that she was doing research for Elain's BOOK)

Basically, it's an exercise in mind-fuckery.

'Elain will get a book, but it won't be next, because Gwyn will get a book(??) and Gwyn will be with Azriel saving Illyria and Elain will find her brain and will finally accept the bond, move with Lucien and plant flowers.'

And of course the first part of the POV is a HUGE problem for them, so they try to twist it and turn it as much as they can -- from completely disregarding it, to saying that Az is 'toxic', or that he only wants her for sex, or that it's all over because Rhys said so, or that Elain is using him for sex (what even?), or that it's just lust for both of them, and on and on and on it goes.

Nothing makes sense. They foam at the mouth saying he is a lust-crazed maniac with a boat-load of issues who shouldn't even be around women, and yet ship him with Gwyn.

That's why being an Elriel is kind of like existing in an alternate reality that makes little sense, because no matter how many times we wave books in front of them, write whole metas that are peppered with examples, it's just being shrugged off and we are told 'Sarah changed her mind'! (because of course they know what Sarah thinks!) And then we are like, but, but, why so many hints even in ACOSF and the POV confirming the feelings, just for her to change her mind?

Ehhh.

That's why when people ask me do I have any doubts about Eriel, I say NO. Because Gwynriel is made up. From the beginning to the end--it's a made up ship with no foundation. Even Moriel made more sense than this. But people want to believe what they want to believe.

#anti gwy*nriel #pro elriel #elriel #elriel forever #azriel and elain #acotar fandom

[bookofmirth]

Hmm, I think the reason why I can't see Elain and Azriel happening is because they're both like.. quite? I cannot see Elain bringing the best out of Azriel and Azriel bringing the best out of Elain. Certainly not after he disrespected her choice in helping the IC. It's been 2 years and nothing much happened between them except they got horny. Azriel is still the same and so is Elain. They don't have any banter. Should El/riel happen then it happens, but it would be hard for me to come to like that ship. I never cared about El/riel at all, same with Moriel. Moriel had no banter and it was just Moriel avoiding Azriel's affections while Azriel was just pinning after her. Never liked it and I'm glad Moriel is dead. I guess I prefer ships that have banter and tension. To me, El/riel reall have the same chemistry as Chaolsryn.

This might be a stupid question, because you might have said it many times, but did you feel anything for El/riel before acosf? Like, did you think that El/riel might have a chance to win your heart before acosf? For me it was like 15- 20% but now it's only like 2%.

Just to be clear, I am answering this because it is 100% about the ship! And has nothing to do with the current fandom or anyone who ships it.

I really liked moriel pre-acowar, but now in hindsight, I see them the way that you do, with him pining and her trying to avoid him. And I see e*riel that way as well, mainly because we have zero signs that Elain cares about him at all, which is exactly the reason why moriel never would have worked out. Elain doesn't even seem to care about Az as much as Mor did in acomaf, when Mor would be concerned about Az's feelings and glance at him to make sure he was okay , defend his interests to Rhys, etc.

This is also something specific to me, but I cannot stand ships that are Person A, who is a sweet nice girl, and Person B, who is a broody troubled guy who just needs love. And inevitably Person B is "healed" through the true love and emotional labor of completely selfless and self-sacrificing Person A. I hate that trope with a passion. I recognize that other people like it. That's how tropes get developed! People like the idea, the structure, and they repeat it until it's a recognizable pattern. I just really hate that trope, so fucking much, and for personal reasons. It is definitely not my thing. I can get behind pretty much any ship ever that anyone comes up with, but that trope is a big No from me.

And honestly? I don't think sjm would write that ship either. Healing is always mutual in her ships. Hence what she said about Elain and Lucien healing together.

The fandom ruined e*riel for me from the start, which I've discussed before (and is linked in my pinned post, of acosf meta). I won't get into that since it was years ago!

So with those two things combined, there never really was a chance for that ship to appeal to me at all. Not in canon, not in fanfic. Perhaps in acofas or acosf sjm could have shown me a different side of them. But she didn't - she just reinforced my initial suspicions and readings of their characters.

I cannot see Elain bringing the best out of Azriel and Azriel bringing the best out of Elain. Azriel is still the same and so is Elain.

Totally agree with you there. To me, this is the reason I always knew it wasn't going to happen in canon. I don't need evidence or 10k word metas or theories. I've seen the ships that sjm writes, and her endgame ships always push each other to be better versions of each other. If anything, this pairing would do the literal opposite. So yeah, that's honestly my main reason for knowing it wouldn't happen in canon, since the first post I ever saw of someone saying "hey, what about..."

#antielriel #ask #anon

[kitashiwrites]

I'm sorry my post was really aggressive. I still stand by my point that it ISN'T fair to dismiss Mor's romantic feelings (or lack thereof) towards Az, but how I acted was really awful. You don't have to post this publicly, but I hope you know I'm very sorry. My intention wasn't to try to start drama, but just receive an explanation over WHY you still ship Moriel. My way of going about it was TERRIBLE. I know sorry is just a word, but I'M SORRY.

2/2 I didn’t send you three asks. I only sent you one? Just to clear that up.3/3 I also didn’t send more than one ask. :/ 

Okay Anon. While I find it extremely hard to believe because of the timing (especially because for as long as I have been on here, I have RARELY gotten asks, let alone 3 in such quick succession that are so similar), as well as the fact that you clearly don’t stand behind your words because you felt the need to do this all on anon/have to make sure we know that you still think we are wrong, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt & accept your apology.In regards to your question, why I still ship Moriel, @sarahviehmann honestly said it best in her original answer to you: “ACOMAF was written in a way that intended for them to be shipped. So those people spent a year building up their fanon and meta and so forth, only to have the rug pulled out from under them.”

(For the sake of everyone, I’m putting this under a cut. It got way long.)

I hated ACOWAR. I’ve made no secret of that. I’ve also made no secret as to WHY. I’ve been writing fic for this series for over a year, & heavily focused on ACOMAF. I started when there were literally 7 fics posted to Ao3. Basically all of my free time at home & all of my breaks at work were spent either writing fic, discussing the series/meta with people here/talking my poor friends’ ears off over dinner, or planning fic for characters I wanted to explore in POV fics like Rhys, Tamlin, & Tarquin. Hell, I still have a 10 chapter Amarantha POV pre-ACOTAR through ACOTAR fic that’s over half written at 16k that I originally wanted to try as a surprise for my readers. I read ACOMAF enough times that I honestly would have said that I knew those characters as well as my own family, knew exactly what happened in which chapters, & got many comments here & on Ao3 from people who felt I’d captured the characters correctly, so I felt pretty good about what to expect going forward.

When ACOWAR spoilers came out, absolutely nothing made sense with what we knew or had been prior established canon. Most of all in regards to Mor, Rhys, Feyre, & Lucien, but I’m going to specifically focus on Mor, since she’s at the crux of the issue at hand. In Mor’s case, we took a woman who is described in ACOMAF as “a queen who owned her body, her life, her destiny, and never apologized for it” & says to Feyre, “I once lived in a place where the opinion of others mattered. It suffocated me, nearly broke me. So you’ll understand me, Feyre, when I say that I know what you feel, and I know what they tried to do to you, and that with enough courage, you can say to hell with a reputation. You do what you love, what you need”, & in ACOWAR made her a victim in circumstances that make absolutely no sense for the character we had known up until that date. Queen of the Hewn City? She wasn’t even treated with enough respect to be prepared to go into a meeting with her abusers, let alone shown that she is in charge. The first real female friend Feyre has ever had? Regulated to acting like a jealous girlfriend around Cassian whenever Nesta got too close. And speaking of Cassian, it was pointed out in another post (I’m sorry I don’t have the link right now) that the Cassian & Mor moments read like they were originally Az & Mor moments & were hastily changed when suddenly they weren’t supposed to be even friends. Nothing in this book read like it had been edited for continuity.

There are many bloggers who are far more qualified than I am to speak on Mor’s coming out scene, & while there was a divide, there were quite a few I know & follow who felt it was poorly written/bad rep, & I agree with their reasoning. Besides the fact that I don’t believe for one dang second that no one in the Inner Circle at a minimum would have picked up on something bothering Mor in 500 years or that she wouldn’t have at least told them even if she hid everything from Keir, there is the fact of Azriel. Azriel is in love with her, no disputing it. But it is mentioned by Rhys that Az has always thought himself unworthy of her, & Mor says that she could take her clothes off in front of him & he wouldn’t do anything. Does that sound like someone who is trying to avoid him because she isn’t interested, or someone who is creepily stalking her? In the Nessian short Wings & Embers, Cassian speaks on their relationship as well: “He wasn’t stupid. He knew she and Azriel were … whatever they were. Knew Azriel had been in love with Mor from the moment she’d strutted into the war-camp five centuries ago. And Cassian had been jealous—of Mor’s shy glances at Azriel in those first few weeks, and the fact that his dearest friend and brother … was looking at someone else.”

I’m not going to rehash Wings & Embers or ACOMAF for you. But as Sarah said, it was clearly written with them as a ship in mind, & this is from the POV of a character that has known them since the beginning, not just a few months like Feyre.

Why I still ship Moriel at this point? Because I ship it in any form. I love her & Az together period, even as friends. This ship was one of the ways @illyriantremors & I bonded originally, before we found out how much else we had in common & she became as good as a biological sister to me (I call her my Threadsister for a reason), because we shipped it back in the beginning before there was really any fic for it because it was overshadowed by Feysand, Nessian, & Elucien. Moriel was our Nessian; the unconfirmed side-ship with so much potential & evidence to back it up. When Sierra met SJM at San Diego Comic Con last summer, SJM dedicated Sierra’s copy of ACOMAF to Moriel. Why the af would an author do that if they planned to destroy a ship in the next book from the beginning?

We still love Moriel because it is hard to let go of something you’ve loved that much after you’ve been strung along & then had the rug pulled out from under you with no actual basis in ACOMAF to say “oh, it was there all along”; like when rereading ACOTAR through the ACOMAF filter, as I like to say to people, & seeing the clues that were left to the deeper story for Rhys. For me, those were not in ACOMAF upon reading it again after ACOWAR. I noticed you using my tags in your defense of yourself to Sarah regarding why I wanted to ignore ACOWAR &, by your interpretation, erase Mor’s sexuality. If you had read any of my blog at all after ACOWAR, you would have read that isn’t true, but I’ll spell it out for you: I want to ignore ACOWAR & what it did to my favorite characters’ personalities/their interactions with each other. I want to forget that Mor’s agency was taken away from her & that she was regulated to a plot twist. I want to forget that Az has been made out to be a creepy stalker. I want to forget Rhys treating Mor like she would be too emotional to deal with the negotiations with Kier & Eris & so he & Az didn’t tell her. I want to forget Feyre using Lucien to make Tamlin jealous in the Spring Court while she dismantled it from within & putting him in danger. And so much more.

I personally hate the book for multiple reasons, ranging everywhere from inconsistent characterization to grammar/editing issues. But I’m stuck with the facts it gave us, which is why writing fic is so hard to even consider anymore. It made everything about the series, not just Mor & Az, something I no longer can love with the intensity I once did, & the fandom diminishes that love more & more everyday with their bullying of people for not believing exactly the way they do, which is exactly what you contributed to when you sent those asks to myself & Sierra. And honestly, I couldn’t care less what you think of me. But if you had even looked at one of Sierra’s actual written posts/answers to asks—just one—you would have seen how quiet she’s been about her love for them as a ship & how determined she’s been to not to offend people while she’s been trying to come to terms with losing something that has been a lifesaver for her, to the point she has mostly stopped contributing to the fandom at all. She posted two Moriel drabbles during her birthday week because she was inspired by the Azriel candle I got her for her birthday, & as she said to you in her response to your original message, they were her way of saying farewell to Moriel. And guess what: even though it isn’t canon, people liked them.

I view Mor as bi, & if she’s given a healthy, happy female love interest in a future installment, then awesome. I want Moriel at least as close friends because I genuinely don’t think Az (at least the one from ACOMAF that actually made sense) would begrudge her if he knew the truth. Would he be sad? Sure, but I think he would support her nonetheless, just as the rest of the Inner Circle would. But I have absolutely no faith that SJM will give Mor anything good because she can milk the drama and turmoil she’s created, & I have no desire to see the characters & ships (across the board) I have loved so much destroyed any further.

I think @my-name-is-fireheart put it perfectly in her chime in on Sarah’s post: “Also, we should keep in mind that Mor expresses sexual attraction to men, she just prefers women. How she feels about men romantically is also blurred, though it’s slightly more clear. She says she doesn’t think she loves Az romantically but she doesn’t want to try it just to see.” SJM didn’t even know how to break her own ship apart properly to fit what you suggested, which is a good chunk of why we are even having this discussion right now.

I know Moriel is no longer canon. Cazigan (Cassian/Azriel/Mor) isn’t canon either, but I still love that. I have enjoyed their interactions with each other more than anything else since they were introduced in ACOMAF. The entire Inner Circle made me so happy for their closeness & how much of a family they were. I feel for a plot twist & a couple extra Benjamin Franklins, SJM destroyed everything that made one of my favorite characters in the entire series who she was (a strong, independent woman who didn’t let her circumstances break her & showed Feyre how not to let hers break her) & made her a poor caricature of herself, & made Az something he never has been before either because SJM hastily had to make her new & poorly executed addition work.

I shouldn’t be surprised though. This is the woman who attempted to retcon Eris of all characters into a decent person. And also took away any modicum of being able to read Tamlin as the multifaceted antagonist he had been & just turned him into a completely hateful ass with no loyalty to anyone to further drive home how perfect Rhys is supposed to be (which he definitely is not in ACOWAR, & I say that as someone who loved the morally grey character of Rhys).

TL;DR I ship Mor with Az in any form, even as friends, Mor being bi is not an issue, & I have lost all respect for SJM as an author after ACOWAR for giving us a poorly written/poorly edited product after the anticipation/hype this book had. Make of that what you will; I don’t care. I’m out of effs to give, & your ask & the other Az one I received, no matter who it was from or what your intentions were, pretty much tipped the scale in favor of me wanting to step back even further & have nothing to do with this fandom ever again.

I would ask that next time you think you have a problem with someone (because I doubt Sierra & I will be the last people you do this to), please think about how it comes across & think about your target. Your original ask was terribly hateful, & there is no amount of apology that can take that hurt away. And you would be amazed how far a little kindness & grace when asking a question instead of an accusatory message can go.

This explanation is more than you probably bargained for when you started this yesterday, but that’s the last I’ll say on any of this.

#kitashianswers #Anon Answers #Moriel #Mor deserved better #Az deserved better #anti-SJM #anti-acowar #long post #sorry to my followers #discourse & meta aren't my thing #but seriously #sending hateful messages to people is never the answer #especially on anon

[mytileneve]

I've seen a lot of hate towards Elriel and I want to know your opinion on them? :)

I’ve been meaning to make a long and kinda ranty meta post on my thoughts on the whole Mor/Moriel/Elriel situation but I shall address Elriel separately. Sorry it took me so long to answer this.

I chose to read Elriel as a purely platonic friendship in ACOWAR. I don’t think that in the context of ACOWAR Elriel makes sense as a ship. Azriel is obviously very much still in love with Mor and I can’t see that changing until they both address the situation, get some kind of closure and then Az can start to move on. Even then, I think it will take time until he gets over her. At the same time, Elain is in a very delicate situation as well. She was obviously still holding out for Greyson and then was very brutally shut down and had her heart broken. On top of that, she’s been shoved into this mating bond - which is likely still a mostly unfamiliar concept to her - and has got to sort out her feelings towards Lucien as well (who might I add is virtually almost a stranger to her at this point). 

Keeping all of that in mind, I do think they could potentially make sense as a ship just not at this point in time. Before ACOWAR I was very sceptical about Elriel simply because I thought that  Azriel has been through some things that Elain could never understand fully - or at least not like Rhys, Cass, Mor or Feyre can. However, now I think it’s a bit different because Elain has been stuck in a dark place throughout most of ACOWAR and while I still don’t think it’s as bad as what Az went through, I think there’s some kind of common ground between them now in that sense. So while I don’t ship it now simply because I don’t think it works in canon, I believe it could potentially work depending on how Maas writes them. 

One thing I didn’t like about Elriel in ACOWAR is that I felt like the way it was written was purposefully a bit vague so that readers could see their interactions as a potential romance if they wished to do so. I feel like it would be extremely out of character for Az - who’s been hung up on the same woman for centuries - to suddenly get a crush on a female who he doesn’t even know that well.

#ask #next-gen-weasleys #azriel #elain #elriel #acowar #acowar spoilers #acowar spoiler #spoilers #acotar #acomaf #moriel #elucien #sarah j maas #meta #elriel meta

[rayonfrozenwings]

Hey mutuals, followers and p0rn bots, 

Its my blogs 3rd birthday! 

I’ve been lurking, posting, ranting in the SJM fandom on tumblr for three years and that’s kinda Crazy to me. 

So here are some fun Facts that kinda evolve into an appreciation post… and then an anecdotal history of this fandom I’ve been a part of. So thanks for hanging round and talking shit with me. :D

if ur tagged it’s just like a thanks or when I met you - lol you don’t have to read the whole thing... 

and the rest is under the cut.... 

I only liked posts for the First month, I never reblogged. It was my first time on tumblr.

I’ve had the same URL since the start

The first post I reblogged and commented on was @miladyaelin ‘s post about a Volcano in the Frozen Wastes - such a wasted opportunity for World destruction that was not used to full potential at all in KoA hahaha - maybe a spin off series? joke.

The first person to reply to one of my asks was abookandacoffee or @bookofmirth 3 months after I joined tumblr and that’s kinda scary because that means we have been speaking longer than we realised. 

@propshophannah​ thanks for letting me go nuts about theory with you!

The Big blogs in the SJM fandom change, and it's cool that being in the fandom for so long means that I get to talk with all these people and make some real friends.

I made read friends from reading books and talking about them - How Cool Is That!

I had fun making shit posts about Dorian’s couch, Rowan’s relationship status after EoS and seeing my friends come up with some pretty clever memes too. 

The Art is amazing, and actually getting to talk to artists about their art is something I didn't think would happen ever. So I’m so grateful to tumblr for that.

I want to tag a lot of people but - having been here so long means that urls change and I lose touch - plus I think I would go over the “50 tag limit” easily. 

The first kiwi blog who I talked to was @verifiefangirl and we bonded over the Old El Paso advert of “why not both”. 

I want to thank those who encouraged me to write my theories, and I did that for the first year on here. 

I want to say thank you to the people who told me “You know, you can write your theories as fic and people don't get as angry.” Because you were right! And so that started my writing of fan fic, and thank you to those people who wanted to be tagged and let me know what was up - sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

Thank You to @faenet and my Faenet Fam. I joined to share theories, switched it up to write fic, and then evolved into Edits. I was able to learn how discord works and be a part of a team and learn new photo editing skills - I knew nothing before I joined and it's so cool to have become a part of that community.

Thanks to my BookClub brotp - It’s been the best getting to know you all over the last year, discuss books and life. And just have fun. I honestly wouldn't have connected with you guys if we just relied on tumblr because it often requires me to say something first, and i'm not good at that. @theyretheirthere​ sorry I had to tag you twinnie. :P 

Some Fandom History for those who have been here a while ... (well for as long as I have been in the fandom, I know there was a time before this).

Phase One - POST EOS Theory and Beach Scene Debate, Elorcan exists now even tho People still HATE Lorcan (not me but lots of people did). ACOMAF love, nickname of Tam the tampon takes off. 

Phase Two - PRE ACOWAR, Moreil Hype, Fandom super excited, Acomaf love, Rhysand love.

Phase Three - ACOWAR IS AWFUL - Dumpsters on Fire, lots of fandom people left. The ones who stayed had discourse about Moriel, Mor’s sexuality, Nessian, the ending and how it was rushed, Azriel is a smol cinnamon roll who deserved better - lots of Az fics and the birth of Elriel started here. 

Phase Four - TOG FANDOM ARE MAD because Chaol’s novella turned into a Novel. Cyber bullying of Chaol lovers in fandom led to a lot of blogs leaving - just be kind to one another, you can talk about stuff without personal attacks.   

Phase Five - WE ARE ALL GOING STIR CRAZY, Someone released a TOD mock cover and there was a lot of ableist stuff going on. Bad time in fandom. 

Phase six - TOD Came out - Lots of people refused to read, other people felt vindicated about theories, other people were shocked about Maeve. Praise and Hate towards the book and for how SJM handled race and disability. Was she being sensitive or appropriating? Mixed Reviews, again fandom got a little smaller. Acotar Fandom was taking off in terms of fics. 

Phase Seven - Acotar Fandom PRE ACOFAS Fan Fic Mania. Most of us re-read acotar, acomaf, acowar and Fix-it fics, Nessian Fics, Feysand Fics, Lots of Fics. Lots of Art. I noticed the ACOTAR fandom kinda took off while the TOG one floundered.

Phase Eight - A New Novella for ACOTAR, ACOFAS - lots of hype. Lots of mixed reviews - “it had no plot” or “I love it” or “I don't like how the first pov changed depending on the character” or “Yay christmas!!!” or “boo wall scene” or “yay Wall scene!!” Again - more fics and art came from it. Snowball fight was a highlight, art was gorgeous, Amren as a snowball was also good. Fandom was flourishing again, yes we lost some people but we also had a resurgence in creative content.

Weird non-phase - Catwoman: Soul Stealer, was released but wasn't a “must read” for many people.

Phase Nine - Pre KoA, Fandom was Hyped! We were all doing our re-reads, theories came out again, discussions about favourite quotes of things we had forgotten were shared. Again - Some good ToG fic came out because people had it fresh in their minds again  - we were preparing. Edits were great, lots of Edits, Lots of Art. 

Phase Ten - KoA Came out and destroyed us. Fandom was relatively quiet while people abandoned tumblr to read it. Anti’s came out in force, they had more to say about it that the fans did. Fans didn't see this immediately because they weren't on tumblr. About a month after release, We got Meta and discourse on KoA and what it means and what Aelin’s story has meant to us personally. Edits started taking off again. This Phase is still ongoing even a year later. Personally I am in Awe of that book and what it managed to achieve, I wanted to re-read it straight away but it still has so many parts that HURT to read. 

New people slowly trickle into fandom, or pick up the books, its sweet, but as a veteran sometimes seeing the same arguments gets tiring and so I dont comment as much as I used to. I’m still here reading, but I don't really want to write another essay like the ones I've previously written to defend a point so i’m quiet. 

Where I think it will go next? 

Most of the people who remain in the fandom are good at looking at things with a critical eye but saying “I can still enjoy a book”, which I like. 

We will get hyped as a fandom for Crescent City which was pushed back to March 2020, even if we are unsure it’s what we want, I don't think we can help ourselves. 

ACOTAR 4 is in the works with no confirmed release date, just vague mention that it was being pushed back - twas supposed to be 2020 but I'm doubtful, especially if other titles are pushed back first like CC:HOEAB - it was by three months from Jan to March. 

WOTOG was also pushed back, first from release with EoS, then from release with ToD and now from release with KoA (those are all goodreads dates as I was waiting for it and keeping an eye out, but we also had novels added and other books like acofas - goodreads also isn't the best at staying on top of release dates)…. we have had mention of it that it will include art and is co-authored by Lynette Noni, so It is still being made at least - I mean I don't have to cry about it being cancelled just yet. And So I have to stay around for those. I became invested in the World building of TOG to not wait for WOTOG. 

So yeah, it’s been a wild 3 years. <3

#you dont need to read all this i just started writing and couldnt stop #obviously its my own experience as we all take highlights from things differently #renee rambles #renee rambles about her three years on tumblr #i might do another post for how im gonna celebrate but i need to organise it and i havent yet so something is kinda in the works #i only realised two days ago that i had been here so long #perks of not deleting my 52000 unread emails #so yea #i really want to tag everyone but wont #because if i miss someone ill be so sad #nice fandom is nice #sjm fandom #to scared to tag it with other fandom tags

[luciensfox]

Opinion on Az/Elain vs Elain/Lucien in ACOWAR? I'm the latter - I did a post about it on my wall you can check out. I just thought it was more brotherly affectionate for Az...

Oh boy. Here we go.

For starters, I’m a huge Elucien shipper.

I have been ever since the whole “you’re my mate” slip up by our dear fox prince. All of the HCs and meta I’ve seen about these two has created a massive Elucien monster out of me… so the fact that we were essentially teased with this little idea of the two of them together, only for it to be practically nonexistent in ACOWAR has me really annoyed. 

Love triangles suck in general. I really dislike them and find them to be reflective of poor writing and lack of plot. But in this instance, I didn’t really see it as a love triangle? Rather it was more complex, almost like a love quadrilateral. Or whatever the hell that shape is lol.

I wanted Lucien and Elain to happen almost as badly as I wanted to read the Feysand reunion, and both of those fell flat to me. (But I’ll talk about Feysand some other time.) When I started reading about how Elain was uncomfortable in her skin and near platonic, only going so far as to mumble incoherent phrases and barely eat anything for days, I knew my priorities shifted. Sure, Lucien could have been the one to help bring her out of the cationic stage she was in. But it went deeper than anything a person, even her mate, could fix. This was something she had to face on her own, and come to realize that she had the power to overcome something tragic that happened to her. I wanted Elain to face that on her own terms, and with the quick recovery she pulled during the end… I guess she did? Honestly, it really wasn’t touched upon as much as it should have been. 

I ship Elain with health and happiness before anything else, but the same could be said for Lucien.

Lucien was obviously more invested in their bond than she was, but with reasonable hope. He’d known about the bond for centuries and has mentioned before that every Fae wishes secretly to find their mate, the one person who can be their equal. Lucien has suffered so much that I think the prospect of finding someone to share his emotions with was so overwhelming that even though his initial response was self depreciating because he didn’t think he deserved her (or at least that’s what the fans came up with, because Maas was really off her character development game in this book and I can barely tell you what went down with each character) he also understood that Elain might not reciprocate the bond because she was newly turned and frazzle by it all. He didn’t want to frighten her or push her to do something, which only made my poor Elucien heart more heavy.

Grayson can choke. That’s all I have to say on his matter.

In regards to Azriel and Elain? Maas really knows how to screw with my emotions because even though I’m crazy for the other ship… I’ve secretly started to imagine the two of them together. And honestly it’s not as bad as I once thought it might be, and that’s not to do with the whole Moriel thing never going to happen. Mor aside, I just didn’t ship Azriel with anyone because he, like Lucien AND Elain, needed time to “be in a relationship with himself” first before he could give himself to someone else. All three of them are very similar, which is why the prospect of who to couple up who with seems so strenuous. You don’t want to see the odd one out hurt. Frankly, if Maas put Lucien and Azriel together and made Elain happy with her gardening and her new seer abilities, I’d be over the moon.

But alas, the cute scenes between Az and Elain did things to my heart that I didn’t think were possible. I ship them. But not as much as I ship Elucien. It’s like a 30 to 70 ratio for me. 

And while I’m crying my eyes out over the fact that Elucien is likely not going to happen, I also can’t wait for a Lucien centered novella and perhaps some Elain x Az fluff later on in their own stories. 

#acowar #acowar spoilers #lucien #elucien #elriel

[propshophannah]

I got really excited when I was re-reading the cauldron scene bc when Elain is getting pushed in, az shouts but and I was all 😱😭 but it was just his injury. I wish we had more to go on with these two bc this ship will be the end of me 😭😭

BAHAHAH! Right?! Okay, SO I'm getting some notes together on Dark!Elain and there are a few things that I might throw in as pro Elriel metas. LOL. And also, there are a few Elain and Az things I could make looooose arguments for. One of them being: I can't find videos where Maas talks about Moriel. Either enough people didn't think it would be canon or they just don't care enough to ask her, but I've been looking for interviews where she brings up Moriel and I can't find any. But she will talk ALL DAY about Nessian and Feysand. And idk. I haven't gone through enough video interviews yet, but I'm slowly crossing them off my list when I have time to watch. So I could be wrong. Maybe people will see this and they will send me some links to where she talks about them. That would help me a lot. Lol.

[illyriantremors]

1/3 okkkkayyy. unpopular opinion here but... am i the only one that really dislikes the nesta x cassian thing? i enjoy reading cassian individually, however as a couple and/or just nesta.... i dont like it. i also don't think it's necessarily "healthy", if that makes sense. i mean the way they seem now, they'll constantly be bickering, hating/loving each other simultaneously, and when they DO fight for real, imagine how HEATED that would get. now im not talking sexy heated

2/3 like they'll grab each other and kiss, but im talking about... lets say they argue.  arguing consists of YELLING and INSULTING (generally speaking) and yet they do that all the time ?? so for them, when they're angry.... imagine how much worse/how volatile it could get ?? like if nesta says something rude, cassian thinks "BITCH" in the side story, yet imagine if they were fighting and.... yeah, HEATED. id be afraid nesta would throw something at him/hit him to be HEARD because she might feel

3/3 intimidated by how big/muscular/strong he is. but... uhm, that's abuse. regardless of if its a dude or a chick who hits somebody.... its abuse. and like i said before, they {would} bicker a shit ton. like... insulting each other regularly? verbal abuse, possibly. and no, im not throwing the word "abuse" freely. cause THAT IS WHAT IT IS. u cant disregard a FACT just because "oh that ship is just sooo SEXY. and has sooo much potential!!!😍😍" idk it just seems unhealthy for both parties involv

Hello! I feel like I am maybe not the best person to answer this, but I’ll try. Apologies if it gets incoherent or seems rambling and weird!

Your initial question - are you the only person who dislikes Nessian. The answer is no. There are definitely people who aren’t into Nessian. I used to be one of them! I’ve put a lot of effort into understanding Nesta more since summer and have really come around to the ship because of my studies (for lack of a better word), but there are still certainly people who don’t ship Nessian... or Moriel! Or Elucien! This fandom has all sorts of ships going on right now and whatever you decide to ship is a-okay, so don’t feel weird if you end up in the minority on a ship opinion. It happens all the time and it’s okay. Ship and let ship! :)

The later half of your question is trickier. I understand where you could see the potential for a ship like Nessian to become unhealthy and problematic. They certainly have a heated way of dealing with each other that is both physical and mental/emotional. However, I don’t think there is anything in the text right now that implies that either of them would become abusive or unhealthy.

Cassian, for his part, is incredibly mature and responsible and we see in the bonus chapter just by how he reacts to Nesta’s almost rape that he would never harm a woman. That fact alone coupled with how ardently he fights to give the female Illyrians equal rights in the war camps tells me that Cassian would never hurt a woman even if his life depended on it. Quite the opposite, actually. I think he’d go to the ends of the earth to avoid it. This is the man who pukes his guts up after slaughtering his enemies. He has a gift for fighting, but I don’t think that means he enjoys the violence or relishes hurting people. He has a big heart and I think at the end of the day, Cass would give up his gifts for fighting if it meant everyone could be happy and safe and loved.

Nesta I think it a lot more vulnerable than you may give her credit for? Certainly she lashes out and is harsh. That’s an integral part of her character. But she is human and she is certainly not cruel as I know I initially pegged her for. I think the portions of the bonus chapter from her POV show that she struggles a lot with being vulnerable and that her aim is to push people away, not to hurt them to give her some kind of control or power like an abuser would seek. This vulnerability is a huge challenge for her, but if she were to truly fall in love with Cassian, I think a lot of the harshness would soften in her. She would still be her good ole prickly self and trade jabs with him for sure, but when you’re in love, you’re a lot less inclined to deal out serious injuries (verbal or physical) towards your SO, especially ones that would lead to something unhealthy and abusive as you’re suggesting. And I just don’t personally even out of love with Cass that Nesta’s sharpness is anything lending to abuse to begin with. She loves and she loves deeply, it’s just hard to see.

So overall, I just don’t think either of them are motivated to lash out for abusive reasons - to gain power over the other and diminish them. I think they’re both just trying to figure out how they might fit together (and for Nesta, how she fits in the world period), so they sting with words to put space between them, but not to begin a vicious cycle of abuse or to be unhealthy. And the more they grow to understand and love one another, the more I think that the stings will become the sexy kind of fighting that we all enjoy reading as opposed to something dangerous or volatile.

I also think it’s important to note that all couples fight. There is always yelling and insults are traded. It’s not nice and it’s not good, but just because it happens doesn’t mean that couple has landed in an abusive relationship. Feyre threw a shoe at Rhys and outright hated him in the beginning, but that didn’t make their relationship abusive. I could see something similar for Nessian happening. There will be times that they fight and the words exchanged will be real and meant to wound - not the sexy hot stuff - but not because they want to forever harm or abuse. It’s just a part of working through what being together means. Again, it’s just my view that the more you love someone truly, the less likely you’ll be to want to hurt them on an abusive level even if you’re in the middle of a really intense fight.

If it ever did go too far, well then yeah, obviously it’s not meant to work out and I wouldn’t support it. I just don’t personally think that’s the direction it’s going nor do I believe SJM is going to go there. If you’re still feeling frustrated or concerned, and you’re asking because you’re trying to find reasons to enjoy Nessian more, I’d say maybe go back and reread their bits with a Nesta/Nessian lens on and try to understand where they each are coming from in their choices and words? If you’re still not feeling it after that, remember what I said in the first paragraph: it’s okay! You can ship whomever you like or not ship it and the world will keep on turning.

I hope this helps! I always feel weird answering these kind of more serious asks, so I hope this made sense?? If anyone has more to add, feel free! I know there are several of you out there who are much more eloquent at abuse and/or Nessian meta than I!

xx

#ask #sierra answers #Anonymous

[moiraineswife]

Moriel Meta - in which Moriel is actually a healthy and respectful relationship, who knew?

I dislike the ‘Mor has to fix the Cass/Az/Mor situation/Mor should just talk to Azriel about everything/Mor has to be the one to change things and convince Az that he’s worthy of her’ for a number of reasons, most of which I’ve whinged about before (largely that it’s...kind of gross that all the emotional responsibility for this triangle is placed on..the only female character involved in it which is...deeply unfair) but apart from that I think it just shows a lack of understanding as to these characters and how they work and why Mor hasn’t said anything after all this time? 

And people say she should just get on with it and she should just say something and stop all of this but...I don’t think they consider the more problematic aspects of that? Azriel is in love with her and has been for a very long time and she knows this. I think that...In a way if she confronts him about it it’s like telling him that he has to be with her now. She puts him on the spot and forces him to approach a subject that she knows he’s not ready for. 

“So if he were ever interested would you … ?” “The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris—he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”

 This scene has been approached in a whole host of different ways from people thinking that Mor is flat out wrong to assuming that this has happened before and she knows this from past experience but...I always just kind of read it as it was written. Az doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. It doesn’t matter what she does. It doesn’t matter if she tells him that she wants him. It doesn’t matter if she peels her clothes off and offers him every inch of her. This isn’t a question of want. It never has been. The problem isn’t desire, it’s not even love, it’s worth. 

We’re talking about the person that Mor spent four hundred years convincing it was okay to take a break from work every now and then and go to a club. We’re told Az’s dedication to his work and the lengths he push himself to border on sadistic. This is not someone who takes what they want. This is someone who struggles hugely with self-esteem and self-worth. This is someone who was locked in the dark as a child and set on fire by his brothers as a game because he was that disposable and that insignificant and had that little value. This is someone who is terrified of ever being in that position again and who therefore works ceaselessly and denies himself the things that he wants, even small things like rest or leisure time, because he cannot let himself not be useful again for even a moment because what if they lock him away again because he doesn’t matter? 

So, fine, let’s say Mor does what everyone says she should do. She goes to Az, tells him how she feels, tells him how she knows he feels, tells him what she wants, puts him on the spot, forces him to do something about it. Either: he does as Mor (who’s known and loved him for 500 years) believes and simply does nothing, freezes up, doesn’t move, doesn’t act. Or, okay, maybe he gives in to her because this is the woman that he loves, you know? The woman he’s devoted to. The woman he would look up from a pool of his own blood and snarl at the king who controls the poison running through his veins in order to protect. So maybe he yields. Maybe he says okay. Maybe he accepts her because well this is what she wants. 

For a start that...Doesn’t change anything? Mor going to him and telling him she loves him and wants him and peeling her clothes off in front of him isn’t going to change a damn thing. Rhys making him prince of Velaris isn’t going to change a damn thing. There is nothing that can be done externally to change Az. (And Mor is not under obligation to change him just because she’s a prospective partner that’s a seriously damaged way of thinking too) Az has to change Az. Az has to decide within himself that this relationship is something that he wants, something that will be good for him (and Mor), something that he deserves, something that he can have. Mor cannot do that for him. 

You can’t fix someone’s insecurities just by telling them that you love them/want them? That’s...Not the way this works, especially not for someone like Az where it’s such a deep rooted thing. This is something that he has to work himself through and in the meantime Mor (and Cassian who is...in this almost entirely for Az) will make damn sure that he has the time and space that he needs. However much of it that might be. 

And for a second thing her doing that would be...really unhealthy? Think about it. She’s essentially going up to this insecure, damaged person who’s deeply in love with her and saying: right, I love you, I’m tired of waiting, I’m making an executive decision here, one that isn’t really mine to make (it’s not Mor’s decision/up to Mor to say when Az is ready) and I’m telling you we’re doing this. That’s...Not okay? Like that’s borderline emotionally manipulative? She knows how Az feels. She confronts him about it and she uses that to get what she wants? And it’d be damaging for him. No matter how much he wants this. He. Is. Not. Ready. For. This. Relationship. 

And so many people call Mor out for this? As though it’s her fault? As though it’s a bad thing that she respects his boundaries, respects his insecurities, doesn’t try and force him to change for her because it would give her what she wants? She waits for him. She has waited five hundred years for this man to be ready. She has never pushed him. She has never pressured him. She never will. 

Because this is Mor. And is it really so difficult to understand why Mor, who suffered horrendous abuse of her own as a child, which shapes her just as much as it shapes Az, would wait? Is it so difficult to imagine her refusing to put Az on the spot and pressure him and control him the way she was controlled? Because oh well everyone around you expects you to do this so you should.

 Is it really difficult to imagine her refusing to tell Az who he should love and when he should be with them even though he’s not ready? The way her family told her that she should be with a prince of the Autumn Court, even though she wasn’t ready and didn’t want that? 

Is it really so difficult to imagine Mor, who spent her early life being broken by the demands and expectations and pressures of others - her family, those who were supposed to be closest to her, love her, protect her- refusing to put similar demands or expectations or pressures on another? Especially someone she loves so much.

 Is it really so difficult to imagine Mor, who was shown so little respect that once she was no longer of use or value she was treated like an animal and cast out to die, to be someone else’s problem, would be able to muster up enough respect to let the person she loves so much make their own choices in life? The things that were denied her? 

Is it so difficult to imagine that Mor wants to allow Az a choice? That she feels he should be allowed to choose what he is ready for? And not have her decide for him? Not have her step up to him and say, this is what’s best for you, this is what you want, this is what I’m deciding that you should have?

Is it really an indication that Mor doesn’t love him that she waits? That she’s waited for five hundred years. That’d she’d likely wait the same again, that she’d likely die before feeling like she’d forced him into a relationship with her because she decided that it was time and he was ready and that this was what was best? And therefore that gave her the right to strip away his choices because she knows what’s best? 

Is it really such a terrible thing for one partner to actually respect the other, their history, their situation, their insecurities and understand that they can’t just make these disappear with ~the power of love~ because that’s not the way that mental health works? And that maybe the best thing they can do is not put any extra pressure onto them and give them time and space and support to work through things in their own time and way? 

And is it really so difficult to believe that this is actually the healthiest and best thing that Mor could do both for Azriel and her relationship with him? And that anything else is unfairly pressuring him and manipulating him and forcing him into accepting something that he himself isn’t ready for? And that an emotional abuse victim doesn’t want to emotionally abuse the person that they love? And that that really isn’t a bad thing, you know; that anything else would be toxic and one-sided and selfish and unfair?

Is it? 

TL;DR: Mor is actually capable of respecting Azriel and demonstrates her love for him through that respect in allowing him space, time and a choice in his own life and the relationships he feels ready to pursue. Her keeping her distance from Azriel, the man she loves, for over five centuries is selfless af and I am tired of seeing it twisted around to make her appear to be the opposite. She’s actually dealing with this situation in the best, healthiest way possible and if you’ve got an alternative to what’s happening that doesn’t involve a fukc tonne of coercion and emotional manipulation backing Az into a corner and forcing him to deal with something he’s not ready to face I’d love to hear it :) 

#moriel #morrigan #azriel #cassian #acomaf #acowar #acotar meta #acotar series #my meta #moriel meta #morrigan meta #mor #:) #i have been salty about this for about six centuries #and apparently it's all coming out now #i don't even care anymore tbh #this needed said #text post tag

[moiraineswife]

Mor/Moriel Support post

Because there’s been some stuff going around recently that has been making me feel sad/mad on this subject I thought I’d spread around some love and positivity for my favourite ship. 

One of the biggest reasons I love this ship is the obvious history they have together and the mutual respect and  trust that that’s built up over the years. these two know each other so, so well. They understand each other’s reasons, motivations and histories - they were both there when most of the others’ demons were born. They care about one another so much and I love the...subtlety with this ship. They’re both quite quiet about things but...The depth of feeling and compassion they have for one another is...soul destroying to be frank. I’m just going to quote...a hundred or so of my favourite ‘tiny caring moments’ and scream about them all because this ship is just so good. And they love each other so much I can’t deal. Ahem. This post is gonna be loooong in case you hadn’t guessed. 

It’s really just...extended Mor, Azriel and Moriel meta. That’s it. All the things. All the meta. All the feelings in one easy to access place. 

I’ll do some Az first. The interesting thing about this dynamic is that his...devotion to Mor seems much more apparent emotionally. But it’s quiet and shadowed and rarely brought to the surface directly from him. We hear more about it from other characters or see it through Feyre’s eyes. Mor tends to be more...vocally explicit and also physically explicit (she does things whereas Azriel more just...feels them and lives them. This will become more apparent when I pick apart examples. I hope.) 

Rhys said with soft wrath, “Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods. Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.”

I love this bit, obviously for the insight into the history that we get, the fact that it was Azriel who crossed court lines and located Mor and brought her back to where she was safe. Which is..incredibly important for both of them as characters. Azriel has lived his entire life feeling and being treated as though he is unworthy of basic rights. His blood family saw him/treated him like an animal, he has never felt as though he had any value. Naturally Mor’s family almost repeating the abuse that he suffered and turning her into what he was perceived as (worthless) upsets him, it makes her want to help him and it makes her want to hurt the people who hurt her as they no doubt remind him of his own abusers. 

I think there are some..really interesting parallels going on here. Mor, had a very different upbringing to Az, she had so much power, so much status, as essentially a princess, but she almost had a similar problem? She was never treated as a person, as an individual. No-one ever so her, no-one ever saw her value as her. They saw her power, they wanted to breed that into their bloodlines, they saw her as little better than a prize bitch that they could use. 

Once she lost her virginity she no longer had any value to them any more. Her father brutalised her then left her with a sadist telling him she was ‘his problem now’ She went from broodmare to worthless problem all because of how her family perceived her. Which is exactly how Az grew up too. He knows exactly what she’s going through and that he is the one to save her, to think her worth saving despite the fact that all of her ‘value’ is now deemed worthless is...Important for their story. 

Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her. Azriel had taken to the clouds to contact his spies. He’d quietly promised the pacing Cassian to find Mor when he was done.

I think, and I’m doing a liiittle bit of leaping here but I don’t think it’s a huge stretch, that Mor and Azriel can talk to each other about things they can’t really put on the others. And that’s because they understand each other. As I mentioned above even though the...class if you like, of their upbringing was totally different, their situations, the abuse that they suffered, is incredibly similar. It allows them to relate to one another, it allows them to understand one another and get through to one another even when no-one else can. Even when they won’t let anyone else...They’ll let each other.  There’s such a deep bond between these two, so much care and so much love, they’re constantly, quietly, looking out for one another. 

“Does he mind what he does? Not the spying, I mean. What he did to the Attor today.”

“It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me.[...]But Azriel … Cassian tries, I try—but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor. And that’s only when she’s pestered him to the point where even his infinite patience has run out.”

Two things in this part - as above, even when Az pushes others away and won’t let them in...He will with Mor (as she will with him) The second thing is Mor’s persistence. One of the arguments I’ve seen a lot about Mor is that she doesn’t seem to care about Az that much or that she doesn’t push him enough into overcoming his insecurities when it comes to a relationship with her. She doesn’t seem bothered enough to make the effort to get through to him but..That line of thinking is completely and utterly countered by this? We know how much Az will shut himself off and brood, we know how much he represses, how much he contains, how little of himself he wants to show, how hard Feyre has to work to even wring a smile from him when he’s upset with himself. We know how much patience Azriel has so we therefore know how much effort it must take for Mor to get through to him, to open him up, to let her in, to let him share his burdens and allow her to help. And she does that. She does that for him, she sits and she works away at his endless patience because she knows him and she knows that he needs to talk about this he just can’t. So she makes it possible for him to do that. 

Azriel continued his attempt to infiltrate their courts—still to no avail. I heard about it mostly from Mor, who always knew when he’d return to the House of Wind, and always made a point to be there the moment he touched down.

There’s just...so much in here if you actually dig into it? The fact that she knows when he’s going to get home from his super secret spy missions. (which is...a whole other can of worms that may or may not get opened at a later date) but the fact that she always makes sure she is there. She is the first thing that he sees when he gets back from spying and torture and risking his life. She is there and she gives him that opportunity to be vulnerable, to just be Az before he has to be the High Lord’s spymaster and report to him. She gives him the chance to talk to her and decompress and open up if he needs to. And just the fact that she’s there. Every time. Not even Az can mistake that, the effort she puts into this, into him, into making sure that she’s there to take care of him is just...So much? 

Especially when you factor in that this is the House of Wind. She can’t winnow in there and she doesn’t have wings. So unless she pesters Rhys or Cassian to carry her up every single time Az comes back (which I doubt) she climbs up ten thousand stairs just so she can be there when Az lands, just in case he needs her, just in case this time he lets her in and lets her help him (because this is Azriel. she probably satisfies herself that he’s physically okay, tries to ask after him emotionally and he just nods and tells her quietly, politely, but coldly, that he has to see Rhys) I have Feelings about this, okay. 

And this isn’t the only example of her going above and beyond the call of duty to help Az and make him even a little bit happier: 

Getting Azriel to take any time for himself that didn’t involve workor training was nearly impossible. And when I pointed out that he didgo to Rita’s with her whenever she asked, Mor simply informed me that it had taken her four centuries to get him to do that.

Four hundred years. It took her four hundred years to convince him to just let himself have a night off and go dancing with them. It took her four hundred years to convince him that he deserved that, that time off, that time to be a little selfish, to think about himself for once. She spent four hundred years doing this for him, she never gave up with it because she cares about him, she loves him, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes her, how much effort and energy she has to expend to coax him into doing these things...if it will benefit him she does it. And she ‘simply informs’ Feyre. She doesn’t make a big song and dance about this. She doesn’t wax eloquent about how difficult it was for her, how stubborn he was, how hard she had to work to get him to do this. Because it’s not about her. It’s about Az. And this has made his life a little bit easier, has made him a little bit happier...and that’s enough. 

Mor keeping her distance from Az and not crossing lines with him, not pushing him into a relationship with her and not trying to fix all of his problems isn’t because she doesn’t care. It’s not because she’s not willing to put in the effort. It’s not because she doesn’t love him. It’s not because he’s not worth it. She spend four fukcing centuries coaxing him into taking a little bit of time for himself. She would probably spend eternity convincing him that he’s worthy of her. The reason isn’t her lack of care/empathy/love/patience/whatever. It’s respect. 

(if you haven’t sussed it out yet...this is going to be Long. so. cuts are being introduced now...venture onwards for more of the above)  

“So if he were ever interested would you … ?”

“The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris—he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”

“But … are you interested?”

“Why are you asking such things?” Her voice became tight, sharp. More wary than I’d ever heard.

Mor knows how Azriel feels about her (the whole of bloody Prythian knows how Azriel feels about her okay) she’s not ignorant or oblivious to him. She just refuses to pressure him into something she knows he’s not ready for. At this point the reader knows how much Azriel wants Mor, but she knows if she took her clothes off right there in front of him and offered herself to him on a silver platter, he wouldn’t take it. She is not the one that’s stopping this relationship from moving forwards. Azriel isn’t ready. She knows that, she knows he’s insecure, knows he doubts himself and she tries so hard to help him with that. 

But there is a limit to what she can do. You can’t wave a magic wand and just ‘fix’ someone with those kinds of insecurities. She can’t just say a few sweet words and smile at him and tell him ‘no it’s okay Az! you’re totally worthy of me!’ and erode an entire childhood corrupted by abuse built upon the foundation of Azriel’s lack of worth. It’s not that simple. Mor knows that and SJM knows it too and gives it its due full credit to her. it’d be so easy to just have a big dramatic scene where Mor tells Az everything he thinks is rubbish that she loves him, has always loves him and that she wants him and it’s all great! But she hasn’t done that because it’s not realistic with what Azriel has been through and believes about himself. 

I think Azriel is pretty damn aware that Mor wants him. I think he knows how she feels. I think, in 500 centuries, it’s pretty obvious to them that they love one another and what they want. But he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. He thinks she deserves better. And that is something that is very deeply ingrained in his self and his past and his history and it can’t simply be erased. People saying Mor should just go tell him how she feels! Go fix all his insecurities and make him believe he’s worthy of her clearly don’t understand how those things work. But Mor can’t just make them all go away with a few nice words. If she could she’d have done it centuries ago - not even for romantic purposes just to help him be happier and more comfortable in his own skin. But she can’t. Suggesting otherwise is shortsighted and ignorant tbh, this isn’t something you can easily talk away. And it also shouldn’t be put upon Mor to try and solve 500 years worth of issues that stem from an incredibly traumatic childhood just because she’s a romantic interest of Azriel’s. That’s not fair either. 

On a slightly lighter note I also sort of love the way Mor reacts to Feyre’s questioning. This is, to my memory, the only personal question Feyre asks Mor that she reacts in any way badly to. (And keep in mind that this woman...pretty openly talks about the horrific abuse that she suffered at the hands of her family amongst other, really cheery topics, that Feyre brings up. She’s not reserved as a character, she’s incredibly open and trusting) Azriel is the only thing that causes her hackles to raise, the only subject that makes her wary and defensive. She doesn’t want to talk about her relationship with Az, she doesn’t want to talk about her feelings for Az.  

This starts to ere on the side of headcanon but...I think it scares her. I think the way she feels about Az, the depth of that feeling, the things that she would do for him terrify her. 

Mor closed her eyes as she tipped back her head, sunning her golden face with the same irreverence that Cassian perhaps sought to shield Azriel from—and Mor herself perhaps tried to shield Azriel from as well.

[...]

“I’ve had lovers,” Mor clarified, “but … I get bored.”

I think Mor is afraid of commitment. I think that irreverence is for self-protection. She doesn’t want to get close to anyone, she doesn’t want to love or trust anyone to the extent that they would have any power over her. But I don’t think she can help that when it comes to Az. But I think that what they have now...She can love him, she can care for him, she can pester him into looking after herself but...She’s still behind that line. She’s still safe. And I don’t think this is about keeping herself safe. I think it’s about keeping Az safe. 

Mor is...pretty self-aware/switched on in general as a character and she’s pretty open about things that might not make her look that good (she fairly openly admits, for example, about getting bored with her lovers and moving on fairly quickly and without much mourning) I think that Mor has a habit of shutting people out when they get in too deep. I think there’s that surface openness and the appearance of wearing her heart on her sleeve and being happy to give anyone a chance and just trust them and love them as much as they like but...Only for a little while. 

Once things start getting serious, once there might be actual ties getting formed I think she panics and I think she backs out. She values her freedom, she values being able to make her own choices and I think she needs that. I think it’s affirming to be able to back out of these relationships and be completely in command of herself again. I think she gets scared and she has a very natural reaction and she runs away. And I think she’s petrified of doing this to Az, she’s petrified of hurting him and it’s so much easier to just...maintain what they have. She gets to be around him and love him and look after him but there’s none of the risk of ever hurting him the way she fears she might. 

“We try not to talk about the Incident. He and Cassian … I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again.” 

[...]

After I got what I wanted, after … everything, I didn’t like that it caused a rift with him and Rhys, or even him and Az, so … never again.”

“And you were never with anyone after it?” Not the cold, beautiful shadowsinger who tried so hard not to watch her with longing on his face?

“I’ve had lovers,” Mor clarified, “but … I get bored. And Cassian has had them, too, so don’t get that unrequited-love, moony-woo-woo look. He just wants what he can’t have, and it’s irritated him for centuries that I walked away and never looked back.”

This scene has been picked apart a fair few times and...it never seems to make Mor look all that good but...I don’t know I always thought this was one of her main reasons for not being with Azriel. And it’s the same as the above - it might hurt him. Mor isn’t oblivious to what happened after her decision to sleep with Cass and how it affected everyone else. I don’t think she says ‘it’s irritated him for centuries’ as a jibe at Cass, I think it’s the opposite, I think it’s a jibe at herself. I think she knows how she affected Cassian, I think she knows how she’s affected all of the lovers that she’s been with for a night or a week and then walked away from because it got too much and I don’t think that’s something that she ever, ever wants to put Azriel through. And I think this is what Cass is trying to shield Az from as well - they’re both doing the same thing for the same reasons. 

And if you look here...she doesn’t talk about herself at all in this moment. ‘After...everything’ ‘everything’ being her family brutalising her in such a way as it leaves Rhys fresh from the horrors of Under the Mountain lost for words centuries later, and she doesn’t talk about herself at all. She mentions that it caused a rift between Cassian and Rhys and Cassian and Azriel and that she didn’t like it and this is one of the big reasons behind her not pursuing Azriel. She doesn’t want to upset his relationship with his brothers. She places more value on that than a potential romantic relationship with her. 

I also think that Mor herself doesn’t want this dynamic around her to change and it’s not difficult to see why. If she and Azriel get together the Inner Circle will change. It might drive a wedge between Az and his brothers, it will change things between them and I think that scares her a lot. I think Mor needs this little family that she’s built up around herself. I think they make her feel safe - they are the first and perhaps only people who have truly, deeply cared about her the person. The people who don’t see her as a power, who don’t see her as breeding stock, who don’t see her as The Morrigan, they just see Mor. And they love her just for that and will risk their lives for her and will keep her safe and out of danger just for her. I think she’s terrified of losing that little network of support and trust and love, she’s terrified of upsetting that balance, of losing that. 

I don’t think Mor anticipated what was going to happen to her after she slept with Cassian. 

“They knew what my family would do for debasing myself with a bastard-born lesser faerie.” She brushed a hand over her abdomen, as if she could feel that nail they’d spiked through it. “They were right.”

They knew. They were right. Rhys and Az were aware of what would happen to her but I don’t think Mor was. And I don’t think that’s a huge stretch. Her family might have been, a bit cold, a bit rough and business like, selling her off to the highest bidder without a thought for her choices even if he happened to be a sadist but...That kind of thing was normalised in the Court of Nightmares. Mor had witnessed this taking place with her cousins and probably other females. This was just the done thing. I don’t think a 17 year old girl would ever suspect that her family were capable of what they did to her. And I think this probably gives her a fairly serious host of trust issues, even now. The same way Azriel’s past affects him I think Mor’s past affects her and she’s scared of changing things and ruining the only true home and family she’s ever had. 

I love all the little moments between this ship. The tiny looks, the little ways they look after each other - Mor interrupting Cass at the first dinner at the House of Wind to stop him telling Azriel’s backstory before he’s ready. The way Azriel moves closer to Mor in the mortal realm when she gets upset with the queens and he wants to help her. Mor telling Feyre to paint Azriel’s eyes next to hers. The way Azriel watches Mor. Azriel snarling at Jurian and letting some of that rage show through when he calls her a liar. Az warning Mor against going to the mortal realm, not wanting her to risk herself. The way Mor looks to Az and silently warns him not to volunteer for yet another dangerous task when Rhys mentions going to The Weaver. So many of them I could talk about for the next six years. But I also love the bigger moments that happen towards the end and I want to look at them a bit more closely... 

Faster than any of us could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel’s chest.

Mor screamed.

[...]

Cassian and Rhys hauled Azriel between them, his blood splattering on the floor behind us as we went up the twisting stairways of the king’s castle.

I tried not to step in it as Mor and I followed behind, Jurian at our backs. Mor was shaking—trying hard not to, but shaking as she stared at the protruding end of that arrow, visible between the gap in Azriel’s wings.

 I just...enjoy it when we have characters who are usually fairly aloof and lacking in any strong emotional reactions (which Mor and Az both are. Az is far more reserved across the board but...Mor very rarely lets any strong, deep emotion show through. She’s bright and bubbly and carefree whenever she can be but in the rare moments when she is upset or scared or in pain she pushes people away and withdraws, exactly the same way Az does) display them because someone they love is suffering. The angst demon in me lives for it. 

Mor, on her knees beside Cassian, hurtled for the king with a cry of pure wrath.

He sent a punch of power to her. She dodged, a knife angled in her hand, and—

Azriel cried out in pain.

She froze. Stopped a foot from the throne. Her knife clattered to the floor.

The king rose. “What a mighty queen you are,” he breathed.

And Mor backed away. Step by step.

“What a prize,” the king said, that black gaze devouring her.

Azriel’s head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, “Don’t you touch her.”

Mor looked at Azriel—and there was real fear there. Fear—and something else. She didn’t stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed—but covered her bloody fingers with his own.

 Ahhh, the moment the hallelujah chorus began in the minds of every moriel shipper and we finally had Our Moment. (delivered while crouching in a pool of blood but, that’s just how you identify my otp at this point MOVING ON) 

Right, first off, I want to discuss the fact that Mor has no magic  at this point. All she has is a knife in her hand and she is facing down a sadistic, wildly powerful tyrant king who is holding all over their magic in thrall with nothing but a dagger. And then I want to talk about the fact that IN SPITE OF THAT she still could have gotten close enough to wound him. The only thing that stops her from killing or seriously wounding the king and putting an end to this war here and now...is Azriel. 

Juuust let the wonderfulness of that sink in okay. Azriel, who has so many doubts, so many insecurities, so little self-worth, who thinks he has so little value watches the woman that he love refuse to change the tide of a war, the course of history, because she can’t bear to let him die. (I don’t think, for the record, this is going to be something Az reacts well to. I’m fairly sure he’s going to be drowning in survivor’s guilt in ACOWAR and is going to be fairly soundly convinced that they should have let him die for the greater good. but...ignoring that for the moment) 

There’s just..so much of what they do for each other, how much they understand each other and each other’s history contained in this one little scene. Mor makes this huge decision for Az, for saving his life and you get the impression that...There is nothing she wouldn’t do to save him in this moment here. She stops, she backs away, she backs down, she doesn’t fight back, she softens herself, makes herself be meek, makes herself be submissive because the alternative is losing Azriel and that is the one thing she cannot and will not stand. 

And then there’s Azriel’s line. Az, an arrow piercing straight through his chest and out his back, lying there in a pool of his own blood, barely able to lift his head, snarls at the king of Hybern, who is controlling the poison that’s in currently in his blood, because of how he speaks to Mor. And I don’t think this is base jealousy, okay, Az is above that. This is because of what the king says to her in the line preceding his. 

‘What a prize.’ The king looks at Mor and he sees what her family saw. He sees an object. He sees a trophy. He sees a tool for breeding. He tears her back down to that terrified 17 year old virgin, a prize to be won, a thing to be sold off to the highest bidder and Azriel won’t stand for that. He won’t stand for him treating her in that way, reducing her to that again, won’t stand to see him touch her with those thoughts in his head and he will do whatever it takes, even when he’s literally lying in a pool of his own blood dying to stop her ever enduring that fate again. Even for a second. 

And that final little beat between them. Mor looking at him, with that fear, that real fear that she lets them all see for him and that ‘something else’ (which I’m pretty sure is just....love. but it probably needs a bit more debate than that) not taking her eyes off of him as she walks back to him, kneels at his side and places a hand over his wound (in a lovely mirror to the end scene where she heals him) Az placing his hand over hers and just completing that little circle between them it’s just..a really, really beautiful moment. 

Okay...I have...run out of moriel moments to yell about (no I haven’t there are so many more little ones I never properly fleshed out or quoted) but this is...quite long enough and I think I have made the points that I wanted to make (albeit in a rather long, meandering and roundabout fashion) but I just...really wanted to remind myself and...anyone else who manages to struggle through this, why I love this little ship so much. I can’t wait to see what happens to them in ACOWAR. I don’t think it’ll all be easy, I don’t even know if they’ll have a happy ending I just...want them to have an arc, I just want more and that’ll be a start. Anyway, if you struggled along to the end of this with me, bless you, and come yell at me because...if you’ve made it this far you probably love these two a lot and we therefore have many things to yell about. 

#moriel #morrigan #azriel #acowar #acomaf #acotar series #moriel meta #my meta #mor meta #azriel meta #acotar meta #ship: shadow fire #otp: a whisper of darkness among the stars #have i mentioned how much i love this ship lately #this is...more heavily mor/moriel weighted than it is Az #because I think...in this aspect...Az is pretty talked over #his feelings appear to be pretty obvious #Mor is the one people seem to have more of an issue with so I focused more on her #but Az definitely gets a good lot of mentioning because #i can't help myself #anyway #i just felt like...spreading some positivity #and there have been a lot of these points i've been meaning to make for a while now #so here they are #text post tag #long post

[bookofmirth]

ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol

i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol

i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?

Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.

To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.

This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.

I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.

Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.

Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.

What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.

This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.

However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.

People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.

You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.

Here are the facts as of right now:

ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.

If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.

His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.

Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.

So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.

There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.

Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.

Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.

I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.

I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).

There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.

idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.

#ask #gimme-mor #acotar #antielriel #gwynriel #elucien #acotar fandom #fandom things #fandom history

[bookofmirth]

If you have the time/energy I would love to hear more of your thoughts about Az's persona! He's such an interesting character to me, and I feel like most of the theories I see about him centre around elain, and how his behaviour is mate behaviour (the double bond thing). Personally I think azriel has a lot of anger, isnt very open with his friends, and also feels like he has to be the one to fix everything (this comes out with elain but also all his relationships).

Can I just start this off by saying “what the fuck” at the double/true/created bond thing. I’ve seen some WILD shit out there in the fandom, wild. 

I have been writing and deleting and copy/pasting etc. this post forever and I can’t decide how to approach it, so I hope this makes sense! I didn’t pull out a ton of quotes because tbh it’s a lot of work and I’ve read these books???? So many times. And this is tumblr, not comprehensive exams.

I would agree with your characterization of Azriel! 

Anger - this comes out in really inappropriate times, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he turns his anger around on himself. We all know that Rhys described his “icy rage”, and later on his “cruel competitiveness”.

Lack of communication - yeah, when has he had a heart-to-heart with anyone in this series? When he does, it’s not about making himself feel better, or sharing his own feelings. It’s to be of service to someone else. All the IC have described trying to reach out to him in their own ways, and not being successful.

Needing to fix things - yes! I see this as his need to be of service. He’s always the first one to jump into work. It took Mor hundreds of years to get him to go to Rita’s, right? He’s a workaholic in a world with no labor laws. He always wants to be the one in charge of gathering intel, of finding people, or fixing problems. I think this is closely tied to two things: his lack of self-worth, and his anger. If he can stay busy enough and work hard enough, he can prove his worth to other people, if not to himself. This is why he loses it when Rhys or Feyre tell him that he can’t handle something. 

Funny thing, but people who have followed my blog since early 2017 know that I shipped moriel hardcore. I just loved it. I wrote so much meta and fanfic. A lot of the arguments that I see now remind me a lot of arguments people used to make about moriel - and it makes sense! Az’s behavior around both Mor and Elain are eerily similar. So I thought I’d compare his behavior towards them because that can tell us about his character!

To me, his treatment of Elain (and Mor) comes down to two things:

What his mother and Mor suffered (and he was unable to prevent), and

His lack of self-worth due to abuse 

Azriel and Mor didn’t know one another very long before she slept with Cassian and was left brutalized by her family. This happened when they were all in their late teens, which is not long after Azriel was tortured by his brothers, rarely let outside, and rarely got to see his mother. At the same time that Azriel sees his mother treated so poorly, he then feels intense guilt and rage at what happens to Mor. It’s enough to make him overreact in the future, any time that Mor (or another female) is in danger. So here are a bunch of examples of him being overprotective of Mor and Elain. But mostly Mor.

In acomaf, Azriel has the audacity to tell Mor no, that she can’t go to the human lands (chapter 41)

“I fought in the War, you will do well to remember-”

“No,” Azriel said again, refusing to break her stare. His shifting wings rasped against the back of his chair. “The would string you up and make an example of you.”

At the end of acomaf he is still highly protective of Mor

Azriel’s head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, “Don’t you touch her.”

Mor looked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else. She didn’t stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed-but covered her bloody fingers with his own.

Then in acowar, of course, he explodes at the High Lord meeting after Eris says that Mor dresses like a slut:

Azriel stopped.

Eris gasped for air as those scarred hands loosened. As Azriel turned his face towards me-

The frozen rage there rooted me to the spot. 

But beneath it, I could almost see the image that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys.

And now, behind us, Mor was shaking in her chair. Pale and shaking.

And of course in acowar Azriel goes with Feyre to rescue Elain. This ties together all of his issues with Mor and his mother. IMHO, Azriel sees Elain as a second chance. He saves Elain in a way he failed to save Mor, and so he begins to transfer his need to protect and serve onto her.

Azriel’s refusal to let Mor assist in dangerous situations is similar to how he says no, Elain cannot help.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

*Note that it’s an “outright sign of temper” - not an outright sign of protectiveness, or caring, or concern, or worry. 

If being protective of another character is “mate behavior” or sign of a mating bond, then Azriel and Mor would be mated. There is far more evidence of him being overprotective of her than of Elain. So while we know that mates are protective (naturally!), Azriel’s protective tendencies are coming from something else - a combination of his failures to protect his mother and Mor.

In acofas, what Cassian jokes is Az being a stickler for manners in forcing everyone to wait for Elain, Rhys explains as being related to Azriel’s mother - not Elain or Cassian.

Rhys took a bite, gesturing with his knife for me to eat. Let’s just say it hit a little close to home. At my beat of confusion, he added, There are some scars when it comes to how his mother was treated. Many scars.

Again, it seems all well and good that Az was thinking about being polite, but Rhys tells us that it’s because of Azriel’s mommy issues! Which are understandable and important, but a clear example of Azriel trying to make up for poor treatment in one woman by overreacting around another.

In the acosf POV, when Az questions why he wasn’t mated with Elain (and he can smell bonds so wouldn’t he smell his own?) it’s not so much about Elain as the fact that he feels he did everything right this time. He saved the damsel. He was of service. Elain is safe and healthy and she seems much more amenable than Mor ever has. So what did he do wrong? This is the source of his anger, combined with his loneliness and desire for a shiny lovely mating bond of his own. 

When we think about Azriel’s motivations, it comes down to service and self-worth. He sees his main value or purpose as saving others from harm, and when he was barely into adulthood he failed in that duty for the two most important women in his life. Hence his need to overcompensate around Mor, and now Elain.

#anon #acotar #acosf #morrigan #elain #azriel #antielriel #anti e*riel