#most of these based on vibes

[cometchasr]

Я жду ответа Больше надежд нету Скоро кончится лето Это...

-кончится лето by Кино

i'm waiting for an answer there is no more hope summer will be ending soon this is...

#mine #using omnistar east's translations except i swapped “over” for “ending” #it's the most depressing of kinos songs imo #кукушка isnt really depressing as much as it is emo flowery in the way i like #and муравейник has that same mood #to me they kind of all tie in that they all have the mood of someone very depressed and tired #except theyve went different ways about it #кончится лето is angry about it but also theyve done shit already and theyre resigned to it #(its why i put it here. because the school holidays are over for me and its inevitable. ive resigned myself to it because i cant change thi #кукушка is the emo flowery way like i said #makes you feel things #sad but like in a different way yknow #and then муравейник is resigned depression without the anger #i love the black album so much its just #the most sad #also hi newt i hope you like me rambling about russian songs i do not understand whatsoever #literally looking up translations and copypasting names #most of these based on vibes

[culmaer]

* ipa enjoyers let's pretend every /e/ above includes [e], [ɛ] and everything in between

Reblog in honour of the 5 year anniversary

#miette #poll #langblr #pronunciation poll #I know the correct French pronunciation #but just based on Miette's vibes I can't help pronouncing it /mjet̚.te/ #also sorry Dutch and Afrikaans people I ran out of space to include the most straightforward reading following your rules

[tubbytarchia]

Art request, if you have the time - I don't know if you're doing the fandom trait swap ask game, but if you are, something really cute would be to swap the traits from your two main pairs - fire moth Tango and sheriff centaur Jimmy!

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY RESIST SUCH A REQUEST

#what took the longest was the human anatomy/posing as always. The second most time consuming thing was choosing the horse body pattern lmao #rancher duo #team ranchers #tangotek #jimmy solidarity #mcyt #empires smp #trafficblr #trafficshipping #I know Tango is all blue in empires but fire moth... #based on the fire grid burnet!! It's so tango vibes if you just desaturate it a little #thank you for the request!! #tubby art

[keirientez]

Pokemon trainer AU, Reborn is the champion meanwhile Tsuna is his apprentice. Tsuna’s design belongs to my friend @Cloud_Knee (Twt or X)

#katekyo hitman reborn #r27 #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #my friend and i discussed about which pokemon would be in their team. eevee and umbreon was ther for their similar looks to r27 lol #flygon is a good candidate bc yk. leon. and for tsuna suprisingly we liked the idea of meloetta (bc meloetta has two forms like how tsuna- #-has his normal vibe and his dying will mode) #for reborn we thought of him having a liking for bug types bc of his bug communication skills. like his seasonal bug thing #we also thought of lore for a whole game which was heavily based on pokemon mystery dungeon bc we wanted death (future arc spoilers oof) #but general beginning plot is: tsuna dislikes having pokemon battles so all his pokemons are non-combat #- somehow he meets reborn (? idk maybe bro trips and got silly and he now owes reborn something). and reborn then seeing how close-minded- #tsuna is he decided to accept tsuna as his apprentice so he finally gets it #we discussed about tsuna also seeing reborn often at a lot of places but never got in contact (bc we thought of him living on a mountain idk #like how everyone cant see through reborn’s disguises but he can. so he’ll just see him around (bc reborn is hiding himself from the public) #as a champion. yeah #yeah thats about it i think. ive forgotten most of our ideas dkdgkgfhfhfj maybe another time

[lesbianralzarek]

thinking about all of the masks kim wears. he hides his generational trauma and foreign heritage behind his thick local accent, his homosexuality behind his (genuine) love of cars, his entire system of beliefs and morals and self-identity behind his badge. his creation of the self looks to have largely involved cutting off anything someone might consider objectionable, trying to earn respect from people who will never see more in him than the shape of his eyes, until he was left more lieutenant than human. kim is a man who accepted the world's invitation to hate himself

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #thats how i read it at least #im not an expert on the topic of race-based generational trauma so feel free to disagree but thats the vibe i got #from all of his 'being most offended by the implication he isnt from revachol and deflecting by saying hes disconnected from seol' stuff #gonna say that defending yourself from racial harassment by saying youre actually half white doesnt. uh. look healthy to me

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

still mad about this post lol so let me also say: “they taught us critical thinking in english class” is extra funny to me because there’s a genuine debate among Ed Heads about whether “critical thinking” as a discrete and decontextualized skillset can actually be taught :) so it’s pretty silly to go around confidently branding yourself as a critical thinker while simultaneously revealing that you’re extremely comfortable making assumptions about the relative simplicity of complex ideas which remain contested in their respective fields :) personally i would be pretty embarrassed to call myself a critical thinker if i also couldn’t stop myself from revealing i was totally lacking in the intellectual humility that would enable me to understand that we have yet to reach consensus on unbelievably complicated issues like how best to educate an entire population :) but i guess i was absent the day that tenth grade english covered running your mouth like an asshole on social media :)

#for someone so convinced english class made you smart you’re saying some pretty stupid shit! #i’m also genuinely curious about this person’s english class bc i went to a fancy high school and my english teachers were mostly fine #and i would not connect literally anything we ever did there to the concepts of media literacy or misinformation spotting #i would also be shocked if a majority of current high school english teachers are good at those things themselves. lol. #remember: teachers are being taught that learning styles are real and most of them never question it! #btw i’m inclined to go with the ‘critical thinking is discipline specific and can’t be taught as a Thing crowd’ #my unsubstantiated hunch is that like #being exposed to critical thinking processes in a variety of different fields #can build the kind of intellectual humility that is the most important prerequisite for critical thinking #like because i know how much goes into ‘knowing’ something historically #i know that i can’t really meaningfully critically think about high level debates in biology because the knowledge base isn’t there #and knowing that is IMO its own form of critical thinking #but that’s me spitballing based on vibes

[g1rlb4it]

how i think clawdeen, frankie, and draculaura would take notes/keep in their bag

Clawdeen: takes notes like a conspiracy theorist. they're semi-clean with diagrams, arrows, and question marks EVERYWHERE. she also scribbles instead of erasing. she has a system to note-taking (Clawd doesn't understand). Clawdeen's notebooks always have stickers or decorations on them, with some sticky notes or papers sticking out at the edges. she has a pen, mechanical pencil, sharpie, eraser, and sticky notes in her pencil case (and somehow doesn't loose any of them). she has her core refresh bag, cup, moon chips to snack on, and her icoffin. she gets school lunch most of the time.

Draculaura: she's on top of her studying and finishes note-taking faster than most. she writes in cursive and makes sure her notes are pretty (she thinks it makes her study better). she'll sometimes work on potion recipes on the other page. her pencil case, which has her intials engraved, carries MANY gel pens, highlighters, and pencils. Draculaura gets her signature heart bag, with her glasses, sunscreen, and icoffin. for lunch she gets a deli meal. she makes sure to share her food with everyone at the table.

Frankie: does NOT know how to take notes. they're trying to learn, but being 15 days old, their notes aren't the cleanest. they try to emulate draculaura's clean handwriting, but end up doodling on the bottom of the page. they are also the only one who can decipher their handwriting. Frankie doesn't have a pencil case, instead they bought a set of colored pens (they thought it was pretty. none have been lost!). they carry a studded messenger bag with a water bottle, sour gummy candy, their headphones, and icoffin. for lunch they usually buy the creepateria screechza.

#this is really long for no reason other than i like to ramble #also i based clawdeen's food off of what i ate that day. yum. #her stuff was definitely the most fun to draw #oh also no books bcuz #one: theyre boring to draw #two: their notebooks would kinda all have the same vibe across subjects #three: im lazy #monster high #monster high g3 #draculaura #frankie stein #mh g3 #clawdeen wolf #my art #but also #charr text #maybe??

[sarahsartistportfolio]

funny romance scenario

Reader asks character to get married to them and then quickly quietly divorce just because reader wants to change their last name(maybe just to distance themselves from their family name).

But every time reader approaches character like "ok here are the papers you need to sign for the separation. Remember to do it soon ok" Character just keeps...putting it off and making excuses why they haven't signed them yet because they secretly love being married to you.

During the time that you're "married" they secretly try to flirt with you/show you how good of a spouse they can be so in the end you hopefully forget about the divorce. Ex: they call you wifey every chance they get :)

Diluc, Xingqiu, Heizou, Alhaitham, Childe, Wriothesley, Ningguang, Lyney*, Cyno

*makes the divorce papers disappear every time you bring them to him :)

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact heizou #genshin impact hcs #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact wriothesley #genshin impact ningguang #genshin impact lyney #genshin impact cyno #genshin reader insert #genshin impact x female reader #I added Wriothesley here just based on vibes #OF COURSE Childe is here he would just smile sweetly at you and say 'no I'm not signing those papers' :) #'I'm your husband now you're stuck with me :)))' #Heizou would use the most outlandish extra excuses with you why he can't sign it just yet

[infriga]

I convinced my mom to try the live action One Piece, because she's the type to like this style of show even though she isn't into animation and would never read manga, but I didn't think I'd be able to convince my dad because he's usually a stickler for more grounded and realistic stories (his favourite genre is war movies, his favourite movie is Saving Private Ryan, for reference). But, when I brought up with him how I figured it probably wouldn't be his thing because it was fantasy, he mentioned to me that he does enjoy some fantastical stuff if it has like an internal universe logic, like Star Wars, and the more I thought about it, the more I remembered that he also enjoys campy fun action adventure stuff that doesn't take itself too seriously like Indiana Jones or Pirates of the Carribean.

And One Piece has both that internal logic for why people can perform crazy feats (even if it isn't explained right away) which I mentioned to him (just that there is a reason why people can do crazy things in this world), as well as the campy fun action adventure thing going for it, especially in the Live Action (the fight against Morgan's base even has a major Indiana Jones vibes ngl). So I explained that to him and asked if he wanted to try it, and he agreed to watching the first episode with me to decide if he'd watch it with my mom and me.

AND HE ACTUALLY SAID IT WAS INTERESTING SO FAR!! Like, he is NOT the kinda guy to enjoy anime or manga or even western cartoons, always refuses to watch anything anime and doesn't show any interest when I talk about it (I've managed to convince him to watch a few movies like Sword of the Stranger but it's obvious that even when he's not bored or doesn't hate it, it still doesn't catch or keep his interest), and he's really picky about anything fantasy or SciFi, if it like sets off his bullshit meter too much he starts nitpicking the logic behind certain abilities, or decisions, or explanations, etc. I once tried to get him to try Gravity Falls and he wanted to stop after the first episode. He's THAT picky.

So the fact that he actually laughed several times while watching the first episode of OPLA with me, commented about Luffy's character positively several times (he seems to think Luffy is really funny which surprised me cause I thought he'd be the most entertained by Zoro but I mean I can't blame him it is Luffy after all), never cringed or criticised or said anything about how ridiculous it was, means a lot coming from him cause he's always really blunt and honest about his opinion on this sort of stuff (which is fine I don't want him to pretend to enjoy stuff when he doesn't). He actually watched the whole first episode without it losing his attention, and seemed to have fun! And he agreed to watch the rest with my mom and me!

This sort of thing is one of the reasons why I dislike when people just dismiss the idea of live action adaptations entirely. I get that people are jaded with past failures, and don't like when live action is treated like a replacement for or improvement from animation when it isn't. But it is a valid medium just as much as animation or comics or writing are, and can be used to produce some amazing things. And the fact is, there are people who have a hard time connecting with other mediums who will otherwise never engage with this media in its original forms. Live Action, when done well and done right, can reach new audiences and welcome them into the fold in ways the original formats never can.

One Piece didn't need the live action to be popular, obviously, and the live action cannot and will not replace the original, nor should it. But I love that we get to have it alongside the manga and anime. It's just more of what we love, it's the cherry on top of an already stellar multi-layered cake. It complements the original rather than taking anything away from it. And for the first time in over a decade I might be able to share One Piece with my parents, who would only ever have a chance of experiencing it and enjoying it in live action. There's just something so awesome about that for me personally. I just wish more live action adaptations would understand what the One Piece live action understood about the adaptation process, and that's how to keep the heart of the story in-tact, so more people from more fandoms could have a chance to share something they love with more people who it would otherwise not reach.

Anyway, thank you Oda and the OPLA cast and crew for doing live action right for once!

#one piece #one piece live action #OPLA #When Luffy was talking about breaking into the marine base my dad was like #'he seems like he's got a lot of confidence going for him' with a grinnand a chuckle #And then when Luffy was talking to Nami in the base my dad said something like 'other people seem to have a hard time saying no to him' #Also with a grin and a laugh #And bro if my dad becomes a Luffy fan too I will explode #Like he did laugh at Zoro and Nami a few times but he had the most to say about Luffy and none were complains #He didn't even seem to blink an eye at Luffy calling out attack names lmao #Long post #Just your regularly scheduled post where I gush about OPLA for too long #Tv show thoughts #It's not even that my parents have anything against animation they just for some reason have a really hard time getting immersed in it #Or connecting to what's happening #Even when they try something for my sake they just can't really get enthusiastic about it the way they can for live action stuff #Which I mean some people just don't vibe with certain mediums and that's okay

[moongothic]

...I... I do not know what on earth compelled me to make this nor why, but I will not be taking criticism at this time

#Moon posting #Break Week is rough y'all #Please I just needed to shitpost a little let me have this #OP Meta #I know this chart is incomprehensible you just have to accept it for what it is #No I was kind of thinking to myself it was kind of funny how of the OG Shichibukai half of them are either dads or borderline dads #And I was like. Can I make a chart of this. Can I make a Dad Chart of the Warlords. #I don't know why I made this nor what to do with this information but. Sure. Let me yeet this out. #Kuma is the Dadliest Dad to Ever Dad in One Piece. Moria canonically adopted Perona when she was little. We love the OG Goth Dad #Crocodad is real TO ME but if nothing else he does have the energy 100%. It's just short of Canon Confirmation at this point #Mihawk is a weird uncle to me. He has no dad energy. This man does not fuck. But he'll look after some kids (Zoro & Perona). Sure. #Blackbeard is like the opposite of Mihawk. He has never looked after a child but I'm sure he has spawned a bastard or two or three #(He may be a father but he is not a Dad) (But canonically as far as we know BB has no kids yet so I'm putting him in Not A Dad) #Jinbei is the new Token Father of the Strawhats according to Oda and so I'm putting him where he is based on that. Also vibes #Law's where he is kind of for similar reasons as Jinbei. This boy is too young to be a dad but dealing with Luffy gave him a few grey hairs #Doflamingo did arguably watch over Buffalo and Baby 5 as those two grew up so he's The Most Qualified in that square #Weevil is baby #Hancock could have Dad Energy in the right circumstances. Like she has THE POTENTIAL #Buggy does not fuck #...Thinking about it I probably should've switched Hancock and Buggy's placements on the chart but whatever it doesn't matter

[koetjingwarrd]

You're my baby, say it to me...

#gundam witch from mercury #gwitch #wfm #sulemio #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #i bet on losing dogs as per gwitch current story progression aka ep17 do you see my vision... #i have particular mixed feelings on ep 17 most of which i feel that the story is done a bit sloppy i think it started around ep 16 or 15 #i really need to get this out so i could study damn it !! #first of all with miorine with the one who's losing a lot by being complicit with prospera's quiet zero significantly trapping herself furt #er in the cycle of revenge and also losing the friends she has come to cherish and also... at the same time knowing hal truths of what real #ly happened prospera true plan. vanadis. aerial and suletta true nature. earth as a spacian battleground. and the whole lot #i feel like she's rushing thru her birthday to eject sul asap from prosperas plan and now whats done is done i feel like she underestimate #what conviction on how suletta values what family means to her. prospera lines where she wonders whether sul will give aerial up #easily is giving vibes that its possible for suletta to take drastic measures to get her family back. miorine grows up on a world that #is defined by strict rules but suletta does not... that is after she's starting to get over her heartbreak i think... #whats interesting about gwitch is that although it considered utena as one of its base material it mixes said materials with how gundam sto #ryline works while simultaneously keeping up with today's themes. so honestly... when this happened today im a bit pissed #another thing that even though on a surface level suletta plays the role of utena with miorine as anthy they are also anthy and utena #respectively. suletta and utena with their kind hearted and naive self with a sense of justice left behind the insidious plot of the school #anthy and miorine titled the bride who adored their respective partner up to the point of deception and betrayal for their own good #SULETTA AND ANTHY GOD THE WITCh. red motifs. i find it funny they both have siblings okay this is messed up. the character shrouded in myst #ery. SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THE CHICK WHO IS YET TO HATCHH !!!! RAHHH #insert utena student council theme somewhere around here #and lastly utena and miorine. the “princess”that is ready to take on a world that is threatening her loved one. both are only child god no. #this is my personal feelings but i will find it heartbreaking that despite everthing suletta will runs to miorine no matter how much she #push her away... but i also want and find it interesting where despite loving and believing in her suletta will slowly will ALSO despise #her for letting them drift apart kind of like anthy and utena on the akio apocalypse arc....... do i want this to happen...? do i....? >yes #regardless augh what a heartwrenching lovely episode despite me knowing it will happen at some point during the show #im like the surprised pikachu meme with tears in my eyes

[cadmusfly]

Tag Yourself: Unabridged Shitty Drawing Marshal of the Empire Edition

Yes All 26 Of Them + Bonus 2

drawn and compiled by yours truly, initial and probably inaccurate research assisted by Chet Jean-Paul Tee, additional research from Napoleon and his Marshals by A G MacDonnell, Swords Around A Throne by John R Elting and a bunch of other books and Wikipedia pages

captions under images

mike (Michel Ney)

- full of every emotion

- always has ur back

joe (Joachim Murat)

- it's called fashion sweetheart

- will not stop flirting

lens (Jean Lannes)

- bestie who will call u out on ur shit

- does not like their photo taken

bessie (Jean-Baptiste Bessieres)

- actually nice under the ice

- was born in the wrong generation

dave (Louis-Nicolas Davout)

- overachiever

- 20 year old boomer

salt (Jean-de-Dieu Soult)

- people think ur up to no good

- doesn’t cope with sudden changes 2 plans

andrew (Andre Massena)

- actually up to no good

- sleepy until special interest is activated

bertie (Louis-Alexandre Berthier)

- carries the group project

- voted most likely to make a stalker shrine

auggie (Pierre Augereau)

- shady past full of batshit stories

- will not stop swearing in the christian minecraft server

lefrank (François Joseph Lefebvre)

- dad friend

- in my day we walked to school uphill both ways

big mac (Étienne Macdonald)

- brutally honest

- won't let you borrow their charger even if they have 100%

gill (Guillaume Brune)

- love-hate relationship with group chats

- pretends not to care, checks social media every 2 minutes

ouchie (Nicholas Oudinot)

- needs to buy bandages in bulk

- a little aggro

pony (Józef Antoni Poniatowski)

- can't swim

- tries 2 hard to fit in, everyone secretly loves them anyway

grumpy (Emmanuel de Grouchy)

- can't find them when u need them

- complains about the music, never suggests alternatives

bernie (Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte)

- always talks about their other friendship group

- most successful, nobody knows how

monty (Auguste de Marmont)

- does not save u a seat

- causes drama and then lurks in the background

monch (Bon-Adrien Jeannot de Moncey)

- last to leave the party

- dependable

morty (Édouard Mortier)

- everyone looks up 2 them literally and figuratively

- golden retriever friend

jordan (Jean-Baptiste Jourdan)

- volunteers other people for things

- has 20+ alarms but still oversleeps

kelly (François Christophe de Kellermann)

- old as balls but still got it

- waiting in the wings

gov (Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr)

- infuriatingly modest about their art skills

- thinks too much before they speak

perry (Catherine-Dominique de Pérignon)

- low-key rich, only buys things on sale

- “let’s order pizza” solution to everything

sachet (Louis-Gabriel Suchet)

- dependable friend who always brings snacks

- lowkey keeps the group together

cereal (Jean-Mathieu-Philibert Sérurier)

- unnervingly methodical and precise about fun

- will delete your social media after u die

vic (Claude Victor-Perrin)

- loves spicy food but can’t handle it

- says they're fine, not actually fine

Bonus!

june (Jean Andoche Junot)

- chaotic disaster bisexual

- will kill a man 4 their bestie

the rock (Géraud Duroc)

- keeps a tidy house

- mom friend with snacks

#napoleon’s marshals #napoleonic era #napoleonic shitposting #napoleonic wars #history shitposting #cadmus draws #I thought it would be funny if it was hand drawn #i had to draw these over a few weeks or else my RSI ridden fingers would explode #I will reblog this a few times because this is so stupid and I’m proud of this #yes chatgpt helped because I’m not actually familiar with most of the 26 #ended up editing a lot of it but some entries are less based on history and more based on vibes #and as we know vibes are extremely accurate

[number1jaymerrickhater]

Marble hornets driving headcannons

Jay

Can not drive for shit

There are not enough words in the english language to describe what an awful driver he is

He’s the type of guy to put on his turn signal 2 seconds before trying to cut across 6 lanes of traffic

One time he gave Alex a ride to set and Alex vowed to never get in a car with him again

“Shit this is where we’re supposed to turn, hold on.”

Proceeds to slam on his breaks, jerks the wheel so hard he almost flips the car and nearly causes a 12 car pile up

It is a miracle he hasn’t died in a car crash.

He is banned from borrowing anyones car ever

Despite all this he still says he’s not that bad of a driver.

“See guys! We made it here in one piece. I told you I’m not a shitty driver” meanwhile Alex is riding shotgun with his life flashing before his eyes, Tim is in the backseat trying to make peace with god, and Brian is squeezing the door handle so hard it looks like he’s trying to break it.

They all unanimously agree to take Jay off the carpooling rotation.

Surprisingly his car would be relatively clean. Other than some crumbs and a few half empty water bottles I don’t think his car would be that messy.

Alex

Two words. Road rage.

I hc that before Marble Hornets Alex wasn’t an angry dude 99% of the time

Yeah that 1% of the time is when he’s behind the wheel

Scares the shit out of everyone in the car when he’s driving

He just gets so mad that someone’s putting him and his friends in danger because they can’t follow the rules of the road

Has a lot of anxiety about driving which manifests in him yelling for 20 minutes when some asshole cuts him off in traffic

His car is super clean, he absolutely hates it messy

He isn’t just a backseat driver he is the backseat driver

The only thing worse than letting him drive is having him sit next to you while you drive

He gets possessed by the spirit of a middle aged dad teaching his teenage kid how to drive every time he gets in the car with anyone

“Hey don’t you think you’re going a little fast? Maybe you should slow down a little?” While aggressively holding onto the ceiling handle thing by the door type deal

Idk he just seems like the type to be very passionate about road safety

His car has a “back off grumpy driver on board” sticker bc Brian put it there as a joke and Alex just never took it off

He says he hates it but secretly he does think its a little funny

Tim

He just does not give a fuck

Like he’s not going out of his way to be super reckless but he’s also not giving himself a panic attack over road saftey

He just accepted it is what it is, if he gets into an accident then it be like that sometimes

“Buckle your seatbelts everyone, or don’t its your funeral I guess. Just be on the lookout for cops I don’t want a ticket.”

His car reeks of cigarette smoke

He’s not a heathen, he won’t smoke when other people are in his car, but he smokes so much it hardly makes a difference

His car is also an absolute mess

Empty soda bottles, food wrappers, random papers, flannels, his car is so messy he could have anything in there

He’ll make an effort to clean it if he knows he’s gonna have people in his car, but his definition of clean is “everyone has a space to sit and a relatively clean section of floor to put their feet”

Does not put up with Alex’s backseat driving, if he tries it he’ll just turn the radio louder to drown him out.

Brian

Brian is also a bad driver, but unlike Jay it’s intentional

I mean what’s the point in driving if you’re not going 20 miles over the speed limit at all times?

The first time he carpooled everyone to set, he scared the shit out of them because (besides Tim) no one had ever been in a car with him

Like you look at Brian with his dorky smile, get in his car that has a million stupid bumper stickers on the back, and you expect a normal drive

Then Brian starts blasting the worst music you can think of and tearing down the street like he’s the main character in a fast and furious movie

He was also voted off the carpool rotation

Has a playlist specifically for when he’s in the car with other people and its just the worst music you can think of

Think like the gummy bear song and crazy frog (did those exist in 2006??? Well now they do)

He has actually good taste in music, he’s just a massive troll and thinks its funny

Same with the bumper stickers, bro has a million “honk if you’re homo” and “my other ride is your mom” type bumper stickers all over the back of his car

Still he’s a bad driver in a fully intentional good driver kinda way? Idk how to describe it but unlike Jay he actually knows what the fuck he’s doing

The only time he’s been pulled over was when he was with Alex. He managed to convince the officer that he was only driving so crazy because he was trying to get his friend to the hospital because he was having an asthma attack.

The cop bought it both because I mean look at Brian he looks like an honest stand up dude, and because Alex was actually having a panic attack at being pulled over so he sold it pretty well

#I’m probably wrong about most of these but idk #this is based on nothing but vibes and random thoughts I had at 3 am #marble hornets #marble hornets headcanons #alex kralie #mh jay merrick #mh tim wright #mh brian

[corpsephrog]

i made this in like december, so...enjoy. or don't idc❤

#most of these are based on vibes only #if you get it you get it #idk i think i'm funny sometimes #marauders #marauders era #mwpp #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #dorcas meadowes #regulus black #barty crouch jr #evan rosier

[theswedishpajas]

💙🌌💀🌌💙

#my art stuff #digital art #undertale #sans #human #humanization #gajinka #finally drew a human sans I’m happy with without copying someone else’s #I wanna do mars as well soon but I’m still figuring out how to deal with the sharp features #I can’t believe I forgot to post this the other day #I should draw a papyrus soon #I am gonna be completely honest and say that I’m terrified of drawing people of colour because I don’t know many personally #and looking things up can only take you so far. especially with mixxed info everywhere #and I’m prolly the most “woke” person in my family and I have a racist dad so it’s not like anyone of them would know any better #I just drew some hair that looked nice to me and picked a skintone that looked nice and gave him hazel eyes literally just cus I think they #’re pretty (and heterochromia on top of that but that’s just a sans vibe) #I know nothing about textured hair care so I couldn’t pic a style based on ease or anything etc etc #so if anybody has any thoughts on how to improve him. I’d love to hear feedback on it #I am literally the most white cracker you can find with straight blonde hair and blue eyes and all that shit so I know NOTHING about #anything else and I want to learn more from other perspectives in general #I know I could and maybe should have just kept this post as-is without adding all my hyper-worry (which really isn’t helping anybody) #but this is very outside of my comfort zone for character design and I’m terrified of designing anything without some kind of experience #TL;DR if this sucks in some way from a cultural standpoint please let me know #and… I shouldn’t apologize for the long ramble cus it’s my own post etc etc but I still want to apologize #and thank you. people often don’t read tags especially when they go on like mine do

[little-mouse-adventures]

A Timeline of Events in the Artemis Fowl Series

If anyone's interested, I did do an actual analysis for where I pulled some of these dates from. But because I cannot type succinctly to save my life, it's 5,000 words long, so that's below the cut. I also put the timeline there again, but in three separate images, so hopefully they load well enough to be fully legible if the above isn't.

A thousand thanks to @sadbitchapologist and @zahnie for their help and advice with this, despite neither of them having any more than the barest interest in the series and therefore having no clue what I was on about. Thanks also to @orangerosebush for fielding completely out-of-the-blue questions about the French school system, so I didn't have to attempt to navigate web search results to figure out what mandatory gym classes were like for the sole purpose of plotting Luc's birthday on here.

An Analysis of the Timelines in the Artemis Fowl Series

A Brief Introduction

The Artemis Fowl series is made up of eight books covering a range of years and events. I wanted to see how accurate the timelines present in the books were, as well as try and plot out some other details implied in the novels but not explicitly stated, to have a better understanding of the overall world-building. To that end, I went through the series and made the above timeline. I colour-coded it based on the relevance of the specific items to certain categories, namely Humans, Fairies, Villains, and the Series itself. This does mean that some things could have fit into multiple categories. For instance, you will see some items involving Opal categorized as Fairy-Specific (such as her college years, as those are fairly neutral to the main plot or her villainy), Villain-Specific (such as her setting up her emergency fund, as that is mostly related to her schemes as opposed to relevant to her existence as a fairy, or part of the main plot of the series), and Plot-Specific (such as her opening the Berserker Gate, the primary plot point for the final book).

Before we really delve into things though, we should establish the baseline assumptions I was working with. Firstly, I am only using the original series. I have not used anything written in The Fowl Twins trilogy, given that those books seem to ret-con a considerable amount of the original information, and that is far too many headaches to give myself. Any supplemental series information, such as the short stories found in The Artemis Fowl Files, or anything from interviews is also not included. The premise here is: using just the original books, what is the event timeline of the world? The second thing we need to establish is that I am using the North American releases of the novels. I did make notes on where each bit of information comes from, but there isn’t really a citation style for this kind of thing, so I’m not sure how relevant that is. The third assumption is that the first book takes place the year it was originally published. According to my copy, the original publication was 2001, with the first American paperback edition coming out in 2002, and the first mass market paperback being released in 2003. This means our starting point is in 2001.

For sake of clarity, this analysis will start with setting the dates of the books and continue on from there.

The Basics of The Books

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the first book, Artemis Fowl (AF). It is actually not until the very end of the book that we get a solid answer for when it takes place. It’s only in the last few pages of the novel that Angeline Fowl leaves her attic room after all the plot points are tied up and announces that it is Christmas Day. This might be cause for concern – Angeline had not previously been established as a particularly reliable narrator – but given that we are asked to believe that Holly’s ‘feel better’ mood booster worked, and that neither Butler nor Artemis balk at or question the pronouncement that is Christmas Day, we’ll accept that it’s true and move on. This means that, with Butler’s earlier announcement that he was stuck doing four months of stakeout, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that Artemis obtained and translated the Fairy Book in September 2001, and managed to capture a fairy in December of the same year.

Moving on to Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (TAI), we are given a decent chunk of information, albeit spread out a bit. The first is the announcement that the ransom drop for Artemis Fowl I is to be held on the fourteenth. The fourteenth of what, you might ask? Well, we are told that Artemis is currently thirteen years old. Clearly, things are past September 1, 2002 (we know Artemis’s birthday is September 1 based on information in both the fifth and seventh books). We are also told that Luc Carrere has been trading with the goblins for six months, starting in July. That puts us in either December or January, but we can narrow it down further since Artemis gives us another helpful clue. He mentions they are not expecting to see the dawn while attempting to rescue his father in the Arctic. There are only a few latitudes on Earth where polar night (of any type) occurs, and at Murmansk, polar twilight occurs between December 10 – January 2. Combining all of this, we learn that TAI takes place December 14, 2002, give or take a few days to either side.

This can be corroborated by information in Book 3, Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (TEC). After Holly heals Artemis Senior, we are told that it takes over two months for him to wake up. Since we are specifically told two months, as opposed to two and a half or three, we can conclude that the events of TEC take place in March 2003. Mulch gives us some information that confirms this. He was living in LA “less than four months ago,” and since he was conscripted to help with the events of TAI in December, a March plotline fits the bill. We are given further confirmation as well: Spiro mentions that Artemis will be fourteen in six months. A specific date for Artemis & Co.’s attack on Spiro’s Needle can be pulled from the throw-away line that Pex and Chips are “burying” Mulch on the full moon. A quick web search tells us that the full moon in March of 2003 takes place on March 14, and the rest of the events in the novel take place roughly two days to either side of that.

In Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (TOD), the fourth book in the series, we are given several very clear indications of when the events take place. Firstly, Artemis is contemplating that at fourteen years and three months old, he is the youngest person to successfully obtain The Fairy Thief. Based on previously noted details that his birthday is in September, the events of TOD must take place in December of 2003. Additionally, we are told that things are the middle of winter and Opal has been in a coma for eleven months and counting as of the end of TAI, another December plot.

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (TLC) requires the most math and interpretation so far to figure out when it takes place. We know Artemis is still fourteen, so the main events clearly happen sometime between January 2004 and September 2004. Beyond that, we are using a fair amount of context clues. Artemis and Butler have evidently been traveling for four months looking for demons, so we are dealing with events in at least May. But that still leaves us several summertime months to work with, so to establish a timeline here, we will need to look forward a bit. In the sixth book, Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (TTP), it’s noted that Artemis is not yet fifteen, and has, on multiple occasions, spent the full moon in the study. Ergo, he’s spent at least a few months back from Hybras. If he has been back for two months and not yet turned fifteen, he would have had to have returned by July at the latest, and since he returns almost three years later than he leaves, we are looking at him returning in either May or June. This would have him disappearing to Hybras – and by extension, dealing with the earlier events in the book – in June, July, or August. After his conversation with Minerva, he notes to Butler that they “are planning a June wedding,” which wouldn’t make sense to say if they were currently in the month of June. From all of this, we can extrapolate that the first three-quarters of TLC take place in late July or early August 2004, with the triumphant return of our intrepid heroes occurring in June 2007.

As previously stated, TTP mentions that Artemis is still not fifteen, but is nearly there. He has also been home again for at least two months. This would put the events of the sixth book in August 2007. At least, the events set in the current time period. TTP does bring back time travel, and with it some problems. We are told that Artemis and Holly jump back nearly eight years to Artemis being ten and trying to fund searches for his missing father. This would put the events of the past in early 2000. However, other details presented regarding Artemis Senior’s disappearance, which we will discuss later, make that impossible. Artemis also admits, in TEC, that he was eleven when his father disappeared, not ten. If we take a bit of creative license with our interpretations and base the time-jump to the past on other presented information as opposed to the dates given in TTP, we can say that Holly and Artemis instead return to early 2001. This lines up with further details, such as the sinking of the Fowl Star (as calculated a few paragraphs down in this analysis) occurring in December of 2000, and the textual confirmation in TTP that it’s barely two months past that sinking when Artemis brokers the deal(s) regarding the silky sifaka lemur. Since, at the end of the day, the time jump impacts very little in the grand scheme of things, and the year 2001 actually fits in better with other textual evidence and events, that’s what I’m going with for this timeline.

The seventh book, Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex (TAC) gives us a very helpful base point! It takes place on Artemis’s fifteenth birthday, September 1. From our previous results on setting dates for book events, that would be September 1, 2007. The sections in which Butler and Juliet are fighting mesmerized wrestling fans and meeting up with Mulch are noted in the novel as happening “the day before,” which would fall on August 31, 2007.

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (TLG), the eighth and final book in the series, creates some problems. If we assume that Artemis starts receiving treatment for his Atlantis Complex immediately after diagnosis in TAC¸ that would put him receiving treatment in September 2007. We are told he is certified as cured after six months. Yet we are also told that the rest of the events of the book take place in the week or so leading up to the Christmas holidays. Everything so far has said that the Artemis Fowl series follows the current calendar, in which case there is no way that six months can fit between September 1, 2007 and December 25, 2007. However, the only reference to Christmas is in two lines noting that the Fowl parents were planning on holidaying with their children on a foreign beach. If we simply say that six months have passed, and they are instead planning on spending the Irish school system’s spring holidays in the French Riviera, everything else lines up much better. So that’s what I’ve done. This would also put the resurrection of Artemis, after the events of the book and a further six months have passed, at roughly September of 2008. There is a pleasing symmetry to Artemis being born and then re-born in September, though if you want to get really technical and say the events of TLG take place during the 2008 March full moon as Opal claims (as noted in another web search as March 28), a six-month wait time for the clone to grow would put the resurrection in October. Still, there is something to be said for having a boy’s ghost haunting a clone of himself close to All Hallows. Since it’s the last plot point of the series, you can choose which you’d like; it doesn’t have to lead to anything else after it.

Let’s Talk Timelines: The Beginning of the Line to The End of The 19th Century

Now that we have our baseline book time periods established, we can get into the math used to determine some of the events in the timeline above. Several events are easy; we are given specific dates for them. Turnball Root meets Leonor in 1938, Juliet wins the Miss Sugar Beet Fair beauty contest in 1999. Other things are based on some basic math, such as Artemis claiming his parents got married fourteen years prior to AF¸ putting that event in 1987.

The majority of the items on the above timeline, however, do take some mathematics, extrapolation, and interpretation to plot out. To try and keep everything organized, we’ll start at the far left of the timeline, and work our way forwards, looking at events oldest-to-newest to explain why they are where they are on the graph. I won’t be getting too in-depth on everything in the graph, since I’m not sure how relevant the notes on the very minor side characters such as Carla Frazetti are, but I’ll at least try to touch on some of the more relevant points.

To start with, the Battle of Taillte was noted in the 2000’s as being ten thousand years ago, putting that at 8000 BCE. Similarly, the last dome breach at Atlantis was apparently eight thousand years ago in the 2000’s, so that would be 6000 BCE. Troll sideshows were legal in the early middle ages, which implies they were not legal after that. A quick web search says the early middle ages ended around 1000. The first crusades were in 1096-1099, and as those crusades are the start point of the Butler-Fowl working relationship, a point for noting that comes next on the graph.

From there, we get into more modern – relatively speaking – events. Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root are noted as attending the LEP Academy together and being raised in the same tunnel, as well as having about 600 years of history together. If one assumes “being raised in the same tunnel” is similar to the human equivalent of “growing up in the same neighbourhood,” we can assume the two were born roughly 600 years ago, in the 1400’s. Vinyaya is portrayed as being of a similar age to Root, so her birth can also be put in the same general era. We are also told that Fowl Manor was originally a castle built in the fifteenth century, that in the early 2000’s the theories of timeline corruption were first introduced over five centuries ago, and that cloning has been banned for over five hundred years, so those three events are also tossed into the 1400’s.

Julius Root is noted as doing his LEP basic training 500 years ago in Ireland, so that would have to be in the 1500’s. He would have attended the Academy before then, putting that in the mid-to-late 1400’s. As previously stated, he was in the Academy with Cudgeon. Opal also met Cudgeon in college, and competed with Foaly for science prizes there, so they were all in school at the same time.

Mulch now enters the picture. We aren’t ever given a specific age range for him, but we are told about his career. He has, apparently, spent three centuries in and out of prison after a couple centuries of success as a thief. This would make him at least five hundred years old. There is a brief mention that he tried the athletic route at college before becoming a thief, so he would have to be an adult at that point, putting his age at roughly 550 years during the events of the series.

We then enter a period filled in from one-off lines throughout the series, presumably added to give some depth to the world. Things about the wine cellar at Fowl Manor being a seventeenth century addition, Captain Eusebius Fowl and his crew dying in the eighteenth century, and Mulch first faking his own death over two hundred years ago.

Time Marches On: The 20th Century

There is nothing of much relevance to linger on between the 1550’s and the 20th century, so we’ll jump ahead to the 1900’s, when we have Holly Short’s birthday. She is in her eighties during TLC, and her father died “over twenty years ago” when she was “barely sixty” as of TAI. Based on that, she would have been in her early eighties in 2002, putting her birthday sometime in the 1920’s. What a doll.

A few more birthdays now appear, and we’ll ignore, for the most part, some of the irrelevant ones. I don’t think we are at all concerned with Gaspard Paradizo’s birthday, or Mikhael Vassikin. We are, however, rather more interested in Jon Spiro, Domovoi Butler, and Artemis Fowl I.

Jon Spiro enters the series in TEC, as a middle-aged American. A quick search on the Internet says that middle age is generally noted as being between the ages of 40 to 60. We are told that Spiro has worked in three main industries over the past two and a half decades. Additionally, we are told that law enforcement has been “trying to put [him] away for thirty years.” If we assume he entered the working world at twenty, spent five years developing his professional self, and then started going down a path of questionable legality to get the police after him, that would put him at fifty-five in 2003, and born in the late 1940’s.

It was a bit easier to determine Domovoi Butler’s age, and we can get more specific with his actual birthday. We are told that he is forty at the start of TEC, and he is still forty during TOD. From that, we can assume his birthday is not between March – December, which means it has to be between January – March. Now, we can just leave things there, but contextually, Butler says in late March 2003 that “a lot of people know [him] as a forty-year old man.” Since I doubt he’s the kind of person who introduces himself by announcing that his birthday was last week, we can assume that his birthday is not in March. Since about half the books in the series take place in December, and there is never any mention of Butler’s birthday coming up soon, we can likely assume it isn’t in January. We can therefore conclude Butler was born in February, 40 years before 2003, which puts his birth year in 1963.

We then have Artemis Fowl I. This one took the most extrapolation to determine. We know he has run an ethical empire for a few years as of 2007, which coincides with his return to his family after being kidnapped by the Mafia. He apparently ran a successful criminal empire for two decades before that, though, so in 2007 he has been working for at least 25 years. Based on the interactions he had with his own son, I’ve assumed he was also taught to take over the family business from a young age. If he started working at his age of majority at 18 (as possible in the 1980’s in Ireland, based on a web search), we can assume he was born in roughly the mid 60’s.

Billy Kong, born Jonah Lee, is one to touch on. He plays a large role in TLC, during which we are given possibly the most backstory of any villain in the series. He was evidently born in the early 1970’s, and was eight years old in the early 1980’s. Mathematically, that can only lend itself to so many birth years, so it’s easy enough to put his birthdate somewhere in 1973, and his brother’s death date in 1981.

While we’re here, let’s talk about the 1980’s. A lot of things happen in the 80’s, so we’ll be here for a few paragraphs. Butler would have graduated Madam Ko’s Academy in the early ‘80s, Artemis I would have started working in his family’s business and stolen some warrior mummies (of note, the theft is only noted as being in Artemis Sr.’s “gangster days,” but if you are a young, rich criminal, you’d likely commit a wild theft in your early years as opposed to your thirties, which is why this is put in here). Additionally, in the mid 1980’s, Holly graduates the LEP Academy and her mother dies, as noted in TTP when she is contemplating missing three years of her friends lives.

Butler would have started his five-year stint in Russia with an espionage unit in the mid-to-late 80’s, and become a big brother in 1985. Juliet is noted at being four years older than Artemis in AF in 2001, and he is twelve then, making her sixteen at the time. We can extrapolate the month from TEC, wherein she is apparently eighteen when she is called regarding her brother’s apparent death. At the time, we are told what gifts she received for her birthday, implying it was fairly recent. Additionally, Artemis was only thirteen at that time, which would make Juliet five years older than Artemis. If, however, we trust that acolytes at Madam Ko’s start their training on their tenth birthday and get one chance to graduate per year, it would make sense for that one chance to be on their birthday, or within a day or two to allow for as much training time as possible. Since Juliet was in the midst of this one graduation evaluation when she gets the phone call and joins the crew for the March heist at Spiro’s Needle, she’d have to be born in March. (We can also corroborate this with some details from AF: if AF  takes place in mid-September, that would be just after Artemis’s birthday, which puts the 4-year age difference back into play.)

Spelltropy begins for the People in 1987, if it appeared 20 years ago from 2007. Artemis I and Angeline Fowl would get married in 1987. They would have their first child, Artemis Fowl II, in 1989, as calculated by Artemis being twelve during the initial siege of the Manor in December 2001. Artemis II’s grandfather was noted as having been dead for over ten years at that point, and it was mentioned in TEC that Angeline married her husband before he really took over the family business, so those events would likely happen when Artemis was but a baby in 1990.

The ‘90s are a period where a lot of things are happening, but few are particularly important. Spelltropy has a cure found, Minerva Paradizo is born, Juliet begins her bodyguard training and her brother refuses to let her shave her hair. These, and other events in the 90’s, are mostly calculated by math along the lines of “Event A happened X number of years ago,” but since the 90’s was mostly a time of worldbuilding events rather than plot events, we’ll just skim over the specific details.

‘You Are Here’: The 21st Century, and Where The Storytelling Begins

Welcome to the 2000’s! The kick-off point of not only the 2000’s, but also the entire series, is the sinking of the Fowl Star. We aren’t given a specific date for this, but we are given enough information to extrapolate the date. Specifically, in September 2001, in AF, we are told Fowl Sr. has been missing for almost a year. In TAI, in December, we are told he has been missing for almost two years. That does have the potential to have the ship go down in either December or January, so we need to use a bit more details from TAI to make a final determination. Mikhael Vassikin and Kamar were told to dump Fowl’s body in the Kola if he didn’t wake up in “another year,” so they’ve been looking after him for one at that point. Fowl Sr. wakes up two weeks before the deadline, and as noted earlier, the ransom drop for him takes place December 14, after he has been awake for perhaps a week. From that, we can tell that the deadline for “another year” was mid to late December, putting the initial sinking of the Fowl Star in late 2000.

The analysis gets a bit confusing at this point, because 2001 is when future Artemis and Holly join the party via time travel, as well as having their regular selves in the timestream. Essentially, we’ve established the timeline for the events of TTP above, so we know the whole lemur fiasco takes place in March 2001. Artemis wakes up at the end of that book thinking about fairies, which ties in rather neatly to him then dragging Butler across three continents for six false alarms (with an assumed approximate 3 weeks between each jaunt) before striking metaphorical gold in Ho Chi Minh City in September. During their time-traveling, Holly also gets a chance to talk to Root, who wonders why she isn’t in Hamburg, which was noted in AF as Holly’s first major failure as a Recon officer and was nearly preceding the events of AF. The time-traveling would also mean that Opal would have had to harvest her DNA for future diabolical plans before March 2001, when her younger self travels to the future. Since it takes up to two years to grow a clone to adulthood, and her clone has to be ready in September 2003, we are a few months off in the time requirements, but really, for a practice that’s been outlawed for 500 years, I can offer a bit of leeway.

We are now well and truly in the thick of the main events of the series. Most of this will be tied into the initial assessments we made way at the beginning of this essay, where we established when each book occurs. Because of this, we aren’t going to spend time on anything plot-related. However, a brief note on Turnball Root and Artemis’s Atlantis Complex is likely in order. Artemis was, as previously stated, dealing with his return from Hybras and the after-effects of stealing magic during July and August of 2007. His Atlantis Complex, and Turnball Root’s plan to escape the Deeps prison, are in full swing in September of that year. We have a brief note in TAC during the evacuation of Atlantis, that Turnball had, a month before, spied on Artemis and noted his Atlantis Complex developing. Therefore, Artemis’s Complex likely came into play in late July or early August 2007. This is close enough to Artemis’s magic theft to make sense for the deterioration of his mental health, and enough time for Butler to have started to notice something was wrong, as he did. We can therefore assume that Atlantis Complex, at least in the case of magic-stealing humans who have a propensity for time travel and getting involved in supremely complicated and improbable plots, develops relatively quickly.

This leaves just one major discussion point from the last few books: the age of Artemis’s twin brothers, Beckett and Myles. The twins are first introduced at the very end of TLC. They are written as being two during the events of TTP, three during the events of TAC, and four during the events of TLG. Regardless of the time-traveling shenanigans of their elder brother, it is impossible for the twins to age two years in the eight months between Artemis’s return from Hybras in June 2007 and the finale of the series in March of 2008, so we need to look at what makes sense.

Myles has already potty-trained himself, and done so at fourteen months, so they must be at least that old. Their other behaviours would make sense for them to be two in TTP. Diapers are still a part of their lives, and their language and vocabulary fit what a two-year-old would have, at least in Beckett’s case. Since Artemis was surprised by their existence, it doesn’t seem likely that  Angeline would have known she was pregnant, or at least not have told Artemis yet, when he went to Limbo. Ergo, they can’t be any older than two, since (one would hope) Artemis would have noticed his mother’s pregnancy if the twins were any older.

Additionally, in TLG, we know Artemis gave his brother a birthday present, so he had to have been around during the twin’s birthday at least once. With this fact, the twins cannot be born between March – June, which just leaves the question of when are the twins born?

 The most logical answer is February 2005. If Angeline was early on in her pregnancy, say six weeks (which is when most women start noticing symptoms), when Artemis disappeared in July 2004, she wouldn’t necessarily have told him yet. Then, if we assume that since most twin births occur around the 35-week mark, that would math out to having the twins be born in February of 2005. Fast forward, and they would turn one in February 2006, and two in February 2007, which puts them at the correct age for the events of TTP. [One could argue, of course, that a twin pregnancy in an older woman (unfortunately, there is nothing in the series to indicate Angeline’s age) and in a woman already dealing with significant stress could result in a very premature birth, thereby voiding any of this math and leaving the whole question of the twin’s birthday unanswered. However, since I’d rather not subject the Fowl parents to the strife and misery of having one son missing and presumed dead, and their younger children in the NICU with a low survival rate, I’m working with the assumption that the pregnancy was a healthy and normal one.]

The brief comment from Juliet in TAC about the twins being three can be passed off by them being a little over two-and-a-half and Juliet not being around as she is touring in Mexico. By the time TLG takes place, in March of 2008, the twins would have had their third birthday, allowing for Artemis to give Myles his chair as a birthday present, Beckett to be old enough to no longer need diapers, and the behaviours to act more like children than infants. While this doesn’t quite allow for the repeated textual confirmations in TLG that the twins are four, we’ll go with what mathematically makes sense.

That brings us to the end of the timeline! Not everything is touched on in the timeline, and not everything in the books is plotted (we are never given enough context to know Foaly’s or Opal’s birthdates, for instance). But the main events of the Artemis Fowl series are all analyzed, mathematically or logically or textually corroborated, and plotted out, for use or ignoring as personal preference dictates.

#artemis fowl #af timeline #you have no idea how irritated I am that there is nothing - NOTHING - in the series to give ANY context #on the ages for Angeline Fowl or Arno Blunt or Damon Kronski. #i can make GUESSES but they would be entirely based on my own bias and thoughts and vibes #which is INTENSELY irritating because i have basically EVERYONE ELSE #on the timeline SOMEWHERE #oh well. i think i have most of the events of the series on there? #if i missed something i'd love it if someone could point it out so i have a complete 'map' #oh though to be clear: i did very much do this for me! #this isn't meant to like...take away anyone's headcanons or ideas or whatever #if you wanna do something that directly contradicts the above - go for it! #i am just - as my cousin put it - 'that kind of fic writer' in which i will do insane amounts of research for the smallest of details #the one i wanted this for is honestly in a fic i haven't even started #and that is in fact several ticks down the Want To Write list #but that's neither here nor there! #i now have an outline of when things happen so i can do whatever i want with it :)